#i wrote and rewrote this like 5 times but i think im finally happy with it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

suddencolds · 2 months

Note

sending u a star!! ⭐️ sorry i wanted to go thru and pick a specific fic but im too sleepy lol but any yvescent piece u had thoughts on :D

[from Fanfic Writers - Director's Cut]

hello!!! THANK YOU N, IT MADE ME REALLY HAPPY TO RECEIVE THIS 🥹🥹🥹

I also realize am responding to this like 2 months late :') I thought for a long time on which fic to comment on, and now that I've posted Atypical Occurrence pt. 2, I thought I might as well write out my thoughts on it while they're still fresh and bc it's close to my heart (I hope that's okay hehe)

—

⚠️❗️ Warning that I will be attaching snippets from my deleted drafts below!! Please read the published installment before you proceed to read this post. This is a little embarrassing... all I can say is that those drafts were deleted for a reason 🥴

—

There’s a grocery store that’s a ten minute drive from Vincent’s apartment.

I rewrote this scene... 3 or 4 times? It gave me sooo much trouble 😭 I think in the first draft Vincent actually tears up tasting Yves's cooking. (I know, Vincent, I want Yves to cook for me too 😭❗️)

Terrible (ugh 😭) first draft screenshot under the cut (screenshot = old draft, indented quote = current draft):

(Yves pulling up a chair at the end... you can tell he is totally at a loss on what to do 😭 and I, too, was at a loss on what to do)

I wrote this ^, and I was like... this moment just feels unearned? I personally despise outlining + I love going in (mostly) blind. Sometimes the first draft works out of the box, and in this case, the first draft (and the second draft, and the third draft) were all soooo bad that I literally had to take a month-long break to regain my confidence 😭

Anyways! I knew right away that Y was going to cook something for V (it's mentioned here and there throughout the series that he is a really good cook 😭 And in part 3 of Fool Me Twice, Yves promises to make Vincent something more ambitious than hot chocolate. He's finally kept his promise now, 12 installments later 🙇‍♀️ )

From draft 2, there was only one scene which I was sure I was going to include in the final draft, aka, spared from the recycling bin. (But I just checked the final draft and it's nowhere to be seen?? Interesting.)

I would have managed fine on my own.

On this (deleted) scene, and more broadly: I think it's important to me that Yves recognizes that Vincent is self-sufficient in many ways: when Vincent says he will be fine alone, he is telling the truth. Yves doesn't have to stay—he recognizes this too, when he heads for the door in the published draft.

Still, Yves stays, of course—initially, because he insists, and later, because Vincent asks :)

“…You won’t leave unless I eat, then,” Vincent says. He says it evenly enough that it barely registers as a question. Yves smiles at him. It’s not a wrong conclusion. “Exactly,” he says.

It was really, really fun writing the differences between caretaker!Vincent (in Fool Me Twice pt. 5) and caretaker!Yves 😊 I usually don't like to say too much on the end of character analysis, bc I like my work to be interpreted as it is: the text is canon, and everything I'm saying here is just me yapping on about my headcanons. (I have been roasted for saying this by a dear friend of mine, probably rightfully so:)

With that disclaimer: Vincent to me (I can only speculate, etc) is a very no-bullshit caretaker (he likes to enforce whatever will lead most directly to the person's recovery; he actually worries a lot, but his worry often manifests as frustration/snappishness), whereas Yves is a lot more permissive and, for the most part, manages his stress—he is the eldest sibling, after all! I think he does what he can to make it a more tolerable experience :)

“So this is just a Yves thing.” “What? Showing consideration for my friends?” “Showing consideration is one thing,” Vincent answers. “You could have left after dropping off the files. You would still have been showing your consideration.” “I guess that’s true. But at that point, I was already here,” Yves says, with a shrug. “It seemed logical to check up on you.” “Well, now you’ve checked up on me,” Vincent says. “So you can go.” Yves supposes this is true.

Vincent takes things very literally (and I think he's actually quite aware of the social niceties around these kinds of things, which is in part why he is so skeptical to assume that Yves means anything more.)

There’s a hand on his sleeve, tugging. Yves goes very still. When Vincent notices what he’s done, alarm flashes through his expression, and he pulls his hand away as if he’s burned. “Sorry,” he murmurs, again. And just like that, he’s back to how he always is—his expression perfectly, carefully neutral, in a way that can only be constructed. “I’m sorry.” But Yves doesn’t forget what he’s seen. “You can go.”

This scene means a lot to me!! It took a loooot of editing to hammer into place (the doc I wrote it on is titled "fixing this scene would FIX ME" haha). I think this is the first time Vincent has actively sought out Yves's comfort 😭 And he regrets it almost as soon as he's said it, because he does not do things without a good justification, and wanting something—even wanting it badly—does not feel like a sufficient justification to him. But give Yves an inch and he will take a mile!! He will take a hundred miles!! That is just the kind of person that Yves is.

I was talking with some friends previously about how I wanted to write Vincent reaching out for Yves. How I wanted Vincent to, through the haze of fever, cross a line that he'd previously not allowed himself to cross :') I think it is a time-old trope to have someone, in their feverish delirium, utter something embarrassing and utterly uncharacteristic of them, or divulge something that has been difficult for them to say.

This whole time drafting, I was thinking, how can I set up a moment like that and have it feel earned? How badly would he have to be feeling? What kind of setup would justify getting past his 590859 mental defenses? (I do not like to outline, but sometimes I do have an emotional beat that I have in mind, and then I have to work backwards to figure out the setup. This took SO much working back from, and I really thought about it for very long). I was almost sure that Vincent would regret it immediately after too 😭

Yves opens his arms out in offering, tries on a smile. “I’ve been told I give good hugs. Good enough to cure all ailments, obviously.”

Ahh, so Y offering V a hug is inspired by a fic I read 6 years ago, where a character offers another a hug as a joke and then the other character surprises them by taking it. Yves is really offering here, but I think he recognizes that joking about it will make it easier for Vincent to accept 😭

Yves has hugged a fair share of people in his life. He doesn’t think he’d be able to list them all if he were asked to. It’s different, though, being so close to Vincent—so close that Yves can reach out and let his hair fall through his fingertips. He can lift up his palm and feel the rigid line of his spine, the slope of his shoulders; he could reach out and trace the dip of his wrist, the form of his hand. Vincent’s chin digs slightly into his left shoulder. His nose is turned slightly into Yves’s neck—like this, he is almost perfectly still. Yves can feel the warm brush of air against his neck whenever Vincent exhales. He is so close that Yves is afraid, for a moment, that he might hear how badly his heart is racing.

I have nothing to say about this paragraph except that I edited it for like 40 minutes straight.

Last thing!!

“We had a habit of keeping the heat off, in the winters, and closing the windows.”

The scene near the end (where Vincent tells Yves about his childhood) is actually the scene which came the most easily to me. I also did not write it last; I jumped around. It took me around 1.5 hours. (By comparison, simply editing the scene before it took 11 😵‍💫)

I did always intend for Vincent to disclose... well, /something/ about himself. (You can tell that when I plan, that's really as far as I plan LOL)

Anyways, when Vincent wakes Yves up (after Yves falls asleep at his desk), I initially wrote it so that Yves wakes Vincent from a nightmare.

But (as direct a link to vulnerability as that might have been,) Vincent would not talk about his nightmare 😭 So I switched gears.

I also specifically wanted to write about Vincent's experience being cared for growing up. I think something that's culturally resonant with me (as an Asian American, and the eldest daughter to immigrant parents) is like, the ways families can and cannot say I love you—the quiet things that are done in place of a more direct expression of it. The way that while unspoken consideration can speak volumes, it can just as easily be invisible. But even now, writing this post, I feel like it's difficult for me to untangle the feelings and experiences I've had into something that feels sufficiently multifaceted.

Vincent has a different childhood from I do (it is probably worth noting that I do not project onto any of my characters, nor do I use them as a vessel to get my own experiences across). I think I'm just drawn to writing tricky/non-straightforward expressions of love, in general :) Sometimes that is the kind of love that resonates with me most.

#ask #thank you!!!!! 🥹#tbh i'm not sure if my process will be interesting to anyone?#but i also do like the idea of like having this be a little journal entry that i can look back on someday #suddencolds yap post (thank you caffeine)#maybe this should be a new tag for me seeing how i cannot be concise ever 😵‍💫

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lady-sci-fi · 6 months

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Hi hey hi so

I just finished your Electric Organisms fic series on ao3 and i just wanted to express some sentiments towards your work "^^

1. The fics are so damn good aaa it infected my brain so much i would regularly tell my best friend all about it even though she doesnt watch star trek

2. The fact you dug up unused scenes and scripts and wrote them into fics is so damn cool!! Also may i ask where you found those?

3. Your character writing is so well done, i was so disappointed they didnt explore Geordis personality more in the show. I love that you went into his family background and mental health properly also I honestly love that he just gets to be happy a lot of the time, the show constantly made him suffer for some reason

4. The drawings are such a nice addition to the fics and theyre sooo well drawn <3

5. The way u handled the Fajo&Borg queen assualt implications was so well written. Im still angry the movies and show basically dropped the whole thing and never went into what it would do to datas mental state

6. The romance was so well written i cant- i dont usually read romance but maaan was i invested in this one <333

I swear you basically rewrote the entire series while fixing all the shitty parts and making the good parts *sparkly*

Also just the raw amount of stuff you wrote is crazy impressive!!!!

Unrelated your blog is really cool ive been following for a couple of months or so and it delights me whenever you show up on my dash.

Anyways you're a great writer and artist and i hope my ramble could express that your work is very very appreciated :)

Thanks so much for telling me all this! It does indeed make me feel warm and fuzzy. 🥰

The full series link if anyone else is interested.

While I have written the start and end points for the series, there are still more ideas I'm going to write for it, so stay tuned.

1- That's a huge compliment.

2- It's great to find those little nuggets that were cut out from final script to aired episode for whatever reason. You can read them at Star Trek Minutiae.

3- I like to think I've watched too much TNG to get them too wrong in character 😜. I would've definitely appreciated more Geordi episodes.

4- Thank you. In addition to a fic list, I also have an art list, and DaForge is taking up most of it 😅

5- I'm glad you think so. I don't really blame the show for that, since mostly "one-and-done" episode stuff was the overall structure of shows in that time. A few character things get mentioned or used later, but not everything.

6- The boys deserve a well-written romance 😊It's great to know you think I'm achieving that.

Believe me, I'm also surprised how much I've written for this series since I started it in June 2022. I didn't expect a one-shot fic that came from Brent Spiner saying he much rather would've found Geordi instead of Spot in the Enterprise-D wreck to have led to all this.

It's nice to know you think I'm cool enough to follow on here 😜

Thank you again for saying all this. I'm glad you really like this series.

#asks #daforge #tng #data #geordi laforge #data/geordi #star trek : the next generation

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bbrandy2002 · 2 years

Text

I posted 117 times in 2022

10 posts created (9%)

107 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ao719

@burnsoslow

@charlotteg234

@kingliam2019

@dcbbw

I tagged 23 of my posts in 2022

#queued - 9 posts

#the royal romance - 5 posts

#king liam - 5 posts

#liam x mc - 5 posts

#trr - 5 posts

#liam x riley - 5 posts

#bbrandy2002 - 3 posts

#fools rush in - 3 posts

#long post - 2 posts

#choices - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 35 characters

#who says we dont work in the summer

My Top Posts in 2022:

Happy Sunday @charlotteg234

🥵 Enjoy!

13 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

An Apology

Several months ago I accused someone of sending me a hate anon. I've thought about that ordeal from time to time, but even more so recently.

Being in a place in my life where Im not so stressed out anymore or disillusioned by every little thing, Im able to make rational thoughts and think things through a little clearer. Looking back at old messages with someone else, I have a pretty solid feeling I know who actually did send them and thankfully they're not around here any longer.

With that said, when Im wrong, I say Im wrong. And in that instance ... I was wrong. Even if I never said her name publicly, I would like to apologize to @queenrileyrose for my accusations and the hurt you experienced following that. I've already done so privately and the nature of that conversation will remain so.

I can't undo what happened, I can only try to make it right.

Here's to 2022 being about positivity and kindness. Again, my humblest apologies to QRR.

13 notes - Posted January 3, 2022

Happy Birthday to ...me lol

I have to take a moment here to show off these two amazing commissions my bestie @burnsoslow and my great friend @ao719 had done for my birthday.

The first piece by Burns is from her ORDIV Ch 33 when Liam proposed to Riley in the gazebo at Valtoria where the had their first day 🥺🥺🥺

The second one is from Anitah, who used a scene from the fic Burns wrote for my birthday last year Heaven, Hell or Houston when Liam and Riley had met at the bar and when on this whirlwind date, kissing at every stop light 😍

Two of my favorite scenes captured so perfectly and it makes my heart swell so big.

Thank you both so much for these precious works that I will cherish and most likely stare at everyday for weeks to come. I love you both with all my heart and thank you for making another year of getting older a lot more bearable and for your friendship that I value so hard!

59 notes - Posted May 19, 2022

Fools Rush In

Chapter 21

Book: TRR

Pairing: Liam x Riley

Series Premise: With two weeks before he is set to marry Madeleine, the guys throw Liam an impromptu bachelor party that results in him (and Drake) leaving Vegas with more than he bargained for.

Word count: 3900 -ish

Warning: Language

Soooo ... hey lol It's been a hot minute since I've written or posted anything (or just been around in general). Anyway, I came back to several messages asking about this chapter. I actually had 90% of it written back in October and just thought it was pure shit and gave up on it ... actually, I gave up on writing altogether. Having some time this week, I opened up the doc, rewrote some things, deleted out some stuff and finally managed to finish it. It's still not even close to what I wanted it to be, as it's the end of this arc, but I've decided to just have fun writing again. If there's anything Ive learned during my time away it's that none of us will ever write the perfect story, or use the perfect words, or have the most compelling characters and it's okay; I think I finally have accepted that. Just have fun doing it!

This concludes my TedTalk

---------------------------

“Doctor ... Wolfschitz?” a bewildered Alyssa questioned.

“That’s no damn doctor!” Drake bore his eyes into the former prince, who was already howling with laughter, dodging a pillow that whirled in his direction from Drake. “What the actual fuck is your problem, Leo?”

Leo clutched his side, trying to catch his breath. “The look on your face, man … I can't. I really had you going there for a minute didn’t I, Walker? Afraid you were about to lose that new pee-pee, huh?” He continued to laugh riotously at Drake’s expense before his gaze hastily shifted its attention toward Alyssa. “Why’d you blow my cover, thong girl?”

“Thong girl? Alyssa muttered, absentmindedly crossing her legs while attempting to hide the fact her face was quickly glowing bright pink. How’d he know I was wearing one?

“Why are you here, Leo?” Drake repeated as Leo casually strolled up to his bed and scooped up a chocolate pudding cup from Drake’s food tray. “And how in the sam hell did you even know I was in the hospital?

“Came with Liam,” he replied nonchalantly as he plopped his ass down on the end of the bed and peeled off the top of his pudding cup, licking the plastic wrap clean. “He’s down the hall with Riley right now. Seems my little brother is a prized stud after all … got that Rys sperm in him, ya know? Knocked her up real good yo. Hafta say … I’m impressed.”

“Knocked her up?” Alyssa gasped before stepping closer to him. “Hold up; Riley’s pregnant?”

Leo nodded and shoveled a giant heap of pudding into his mouth. “Yeah. I’m going to be an uncle again --” he eyed Drake’s plate contemplatively, “ -- You gonna eat the rest of that meatloaf, man?” Drake scowled and pushed his tray toward the hungry Prince.

Alyssa quickly put all the clues together. “So that’s why Riley was so sick earlier? She didn’t have a concussion, --” she smiled endearingly, “ -- she just had morning sickness. ... Well, is she okay? Is the baby okay? The fall didn’t hurt them, did it?”

Leo, concentrating on finishing the rest of that meatloaf, languidly shrugged. “I dunno.”

“Well, did they at least give her something safe for her back pain yet?” Alyssa probed further.

Leo shoved another large bite of meatloaf and again answered. “I dunno.”

“Oh my God! Do you know anything?” A frustrated Alyssa finally asked.

With a mouthful of food, Leo tilted his head back in deep thought and replied the best he could, “I know this meatloaf is fucking BOMB, dude. Not too shabby for hospital grub.” He swallowed heartily. “The pudding on the other hand … absolute shit.” He tapped the edge of the plastic container with his plastic spoon as he spoke to it, “Snack-Pak, you disappoint me.”

Desperate for an answer, Alyssa reached out and grasped Leo’s shirt, jerking him closer. “Fuck the snack-pak, Wolfshitz; what about Riley?”

“Riley? Oh, she never disappoints me …” Leo sideways glanced with a frown. “Liam on the other hand ...”

Stunned by this strange man’s erratic and seemingly unhinged behavior, Alyssa shot a wide-eyed glare at Drake, who just shook his head slowly. “Don’t try to make sense of him, Alyssa. Just don’t. You’ll never be able to figure him out.”

Needing to be reassured, Alyssa pulled a cell phone from her back pocket and started furiously shooting off a text to Riley. While her back was turned to the men, Drake couldn’t help but notice the way her ass hugged perfectly in those skinny jeans and soon realized his new body part had showed up in tandem with his sudden arousal. With Leo’s interest remaining focused on the damn meatloaf for the time being, Drake eased a hand under the white sheet covering him and felt around the area below his waist; his breath hitched with relief at the rock-solid bulge that had erupted. Feeling a little giddy that everything was working as it should, the euphoria soon subsided when he caught a glimpse of Leo’s saucy gaze on Alyssa.

Overcome with a strong sense of jealousy over the girl he’d just caught sneaking a peek at his naked self less than five minutes ago, Drake quietly urged through gritted teeth, “Stop looking at her like that, Leo! She’s not some conquest you can just sack for your sick playboy pleasures.”

“Says the guy who caught panty crickets from a $2 hooker and needed a dick transplant.” Leo retorted with a smirk. “Besides, father always said, ‘I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it.” He wagged his tongue in lust. “And I see that.” He motioned to Alyssa’s backside.

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73 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

First Comes Love

Chapter One

Book: The Royal Romance -Complete AU

Pairing:Liam x Riley/Liam x Madeleine (I promise Maddie’s nice here)

A/N: This will most likely be a mini-series; no more than 5 or 6 chapters.This is loosely based on a movie you might recognize but I’ve tried to make it my own.

Series Premise: It's destiny when two people from different worlds meet. Riley is an up-and-coming wedding planner who finds herself tasked with planning the biggest wedding of her career, only to find out the man she fell for after a brief encounter in NYC is the groom ... and a king.

Trigger Warnings: There is a mention of suicidal ideation, but it’s not part of the plot. Some minor language.

Thank you @burnsoslow for pre-reading. All grammar errors are my own.

It’s been so long since I’ve started a new fic, I don’t even know if I have a taglist that isn’t filled with people who have left or hate me now; I guess I’m starting all over again. If you want tagged, let me know.

New York City

Liam zoned out 2.1 seconds after stepping inside a trendy office on the upper floors of a high-rise building in downtown Manhattan. The pale pink shades of the walls, decorative cushions, window scarfing, and gloss on the lips of his future bride, screamed out bottles of Pepto to the new King -- if only he had some to help with the unease in the pit of stomach.

That morning, a meeting with a highly renowned woman was on the agenda, discussing and presenting potential options for his upcoming nuptials, just weeks away. Even under normal circumstances, a wedding wasn’t exactly something that excited Liam. Not that he was never thrilled for the couple and wished them all the happiness in the world, it just held little importance in his day-to-day life. Weddings served as yet another reminder of what he wanted -- and what he couldn't have.

It was amusing to Liam how he could hold so much power, yet wielded none of it for himself.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

The owner of this particular firm, Jill Gordon, had built quite the reputation as the elite among modern event design, planning, and production companies, with a specialty in weddings. The clientele included a long list of celebrities, politicians, affluent Manhattan debutantes, and occasionally acquired foreign business. The latter is how Madeleine first heard of The Jill Gordon Company while attending the French Ambassador's ceremony several months ago as a representative for Cordonia. With the last stop of their engagement tour in New York City, the future queen was eager to add a visit to her appointment book before they returned home and began the laborious task of planning the biggest wedding in Cordonian history.

Although the palace had more than their fair share of staff with experience hosting monumental events, such as balls, state dinners, and various celebrations, there hadn’t been a royal wedding there in over 20 years. Madeleine thought someone with experience handling grand-scale weddings with a sophisticated flair, who could share their vision and expertise with the staff and take charge of the arrangements, would guarantee everything went off without a hitch.

The King simply went along to get along.

Madeleine and Liam sat across from Jill at her glass-top desk, where a single, lone laptop sat catty-corner on top. While the owner enthused and embellished her business to an attentive Madeleine, Liam focused on the assemblage of black-and-white portraits meticulously placed in neat rows along the wall behind the woman’s desk. It was no doubt a deliberate focal point to showcase the clients her agency had done work for in the past. Maybe others who had previously sat in the same chair he sat in at that moment were charmed with the love and joy captured in each of those images; the twinge in Liam’s heart wasn’t buying into it.

After a lengthy social season and with a lot of pressure from his father and the council, he’d chosen Madeleine to become his queen. At first, he couldn’t stand her -- Hell, maybe he never could. She was pretentious, overbearing, cunning, and frequently insensitive. But somewhere between his coronation and the beginning of the tour, she changed almost as if overnight. At that first stop in Fydelia, he noticed a more relaxed, more thoughtful, and just easier to be around Madeleine. It’s possible she’d finally gotten the coveted prize she had obsessed over long before being dumped after Leo abdicated and could put aside some of that anxiety that brought out the worst in her. But to Liam, it seemed to be a little something more: either the Countess had come to her senses about her standoffish behavior, or maybe it was this new business venture Hana and Rashad talked her into, causing a distraction for the Countess.

Whatever it was, was a welcome change. Liam had grown to respect her, find some common ground, and put away some of that overwhelming dread about spending the rest of his life with her. And while it was no secret between the two that there wasn’t more than friendly affection, duty made no exceptions when it came to their obligation.

For both of them, that's precisely what this was. Now it was time to make the best of it and move forward.

Jill sat forward in her swivel chair with a warm smile. Her hands splayed on the glass top as she spoke in a refined tone. “I have the perfect person in mind to handle such an important wedding, as yours… that is if you choose to go with us.” Jill quickly added, not wanting to scare them off with too much pressure, too soon. She knew adding a royal wedding to her list would attract mass attention in the press and social circles for her business, which meant huge profits.

“Really?” Madeleine crowed, glancing over at Liam, who promptly brandished an over-enthused smile before she turned her attention back to Jill. “Tell us more about her.”

“Elaine has over twenty-three years of experience and is the best in this business, and has served most of our biggest named clients. She recently planned the President’s granddaughter’s wedding.” Jill boasted.

“I heard of that one …” Madeleine swooned before adding, “glamorous, yet sophisticated and classy, which is exactly what we’re looking for. Would she have time to meet with us now?”

Jill frowned. “I apologize, but she’s actually booked for the day, preparing for another wedding this evening. A busy lady that one is. Let me see what her calendar looks like.” She moved the mouse beside her laptop around and clicked a few times, pausing momentarily to scan the screen. “She’s free in the morning if you’re able to return then.”

Liam, who had been studying the glass wall that separated Jill’s office from the reception area and wondering why in the hell anyone would want to be watched while they worked, finally contributed to the discussion for the first time since walking in. “We’re actually leaving first thing in the morning.”

“Not until 9:30,” Madeleine hastily clarified. She continued cheerfully, “Tonight marks the official end of our engagement tour, and we’re wrapping up with a celebration in Midtown. We fly out tomorrow.”

“That's wonderful!" Jill replied. "Perhaps the two of you can stop in before your flight in the morning and meet Elaine personally and see if we can work out an agreement. I don’t think you’ll regret it,” she trilled, able to conceal the shameless desperation behind her words like a true professional.

Well schooled in body language and tone, Liam smirked to himself, able to hear it anyway.

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119 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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afoolnottoloveu · 4 years

Text

Even if it’s a Lie ☆

Fulfilled Prompt: 10) Wait don’t pull away… not yet

{Masterlist <3}

Pairing: spencer reid x gender neutral!reader

A/N: I WROTE THIS B*TCH LIKE 5 TIMES DKJGSHH--- I LITERALLY HAD TO MANIPULATE THE QUOTE TO GET SOMETHING DECENT i was having a hrad time figuring out what to do with the dialogue i originally had no clue what someone pulls away from LOL,, i rewrote this so many times and it was so happy the first two but then it started going the exact opposite direction :( i dont even know if this is good im tired and going to bed, give me one like when i wake up and i’ll be happy

A/N 2: forgot to mention thank you to kelly for picking out the prompt!! i had such a hard time and i actually rewrote this in 30 minutes bc i realized i didn’t like what i had previously :’) anyways enjoy? i hope @prettyboy-reid <3

Song pairing: Even If It’s A Lie - Matt Maltese (this is not based off the song it’s literally just the title LOL)

“Tell me you don’t love me.”

“Bubba, please..”

“Tell me we can’t make this work. Tell me you can’t take it, take me, anymore. Please, Spence. Something, anything.”

“Y/N, this is crazy.”

“I’m being serious. Tell me you don’t love me.”

“I’d be lying.”

“Even if it’s a lie, Spence.”

“Fine! I don’t love you! Is that what you wanted to hear?” he spat, his words seething with anger. It was strange, Spencer rarely got really mad- sassy, maybe, but never like this.

He whipped himself around to find you leaning against your shared bedroom door frame. There was a pause in your argument, but the tension lingered in the air. He could see the tears start to form in the corners of your eyes. He unfurled his brows and looked down at his converse, becoming overcome with guilt.

“It’s not true, Y/N,” Spencer spoke softly.

“What?” you asked, nearly choking on a sob.

“I said it’s not true.”

“I know it’s not true, Spence!” Your voice quivered but you knew there was no point in trying to stop it, so you continued. “But I wanted you to say it. Even if it was a lie, remember? I- I needed to hear it.” His eyes raised to meet yours and you saw him slowly nod at your words.

“Yeah,” everything you said was a whisper, only loud enough for it to reach his ears, “I needed to know that you didn’t love me anymore, because if you did, and… and you’re breaking my heart trying to keep me safe..” The dam of tears had finally broken, and your sobs took over every sentence trying to leave your mouth.

You ran into your room and locked yourself in the bathroom, sitting back against the door as you let yourself cry, as you let yourself feel. You knew he followed you as soon as you started running; he was probably on the other side of the door, crying as well, the difference being that he was crying in much softer sniffles, compared to your heart-wrenching sobs.

You knew. You knew there was some sense in what he was doing. You knew he wanted to keep you safe and that he loved you, for Christ’s sake, he loved you, but if dating you meant putting you at risk, he would tell the world he didn’t know who you were.

Opening your eyes, you could see the tears overflowing in your own palms and hitting the bath rug beneath your feet. You calmed your breathing with the exercises Spencer had taught you: in for 4, hold for 7, out for 8. 4, 7, 8.

Your breaths hitched when you heard the soft knock. You had no idea how much time has passed since you started crying. “Bubba? Can you come out? Please?” You knew now for a fact he’d been crying as well, his voice coming out scratchy and hoarse. Your own sobs probably just drowned his out.

You stood up and unlocked the door, slowly opening it. Spencer scrambled to stand as soon as he heard the door’s little click. You could barely meet his eyes, but from what you could see, they were almost as bloodshot as yours. He grabbed your hands, still wet with tears, as soon as you had both feet in the bedroom. Standing there, both of you could imagine what the other was thinking; neither of you wanted to talk about the harsh reality of dating the other, but neither of you could bear to lose each other.

He reached up to cup your cheek, and pressed his forehead against yours. The world was swirling around the two of you, your faces centimeters apart. You didn’t even fully register your lips meeting his before he already pulled away. Spencer slowly lowered his hand from your face and dropped your other hand. He took a step back, distancing himself. He knew that if he didn't stop now, he wouldn’t be able to later. Before he could turn away, you grabbed him by the wrist, causing him to stop and look at you one more time.

“Wait, Spencer,” you whispered, taking a step forward and closing the distance once again. Your voice sounded pathetic, as if you were pleading innocence. “Don’t pull away… not yet.”

Just as his tears seemed to stop, another slipped away, but you wiped it away with your thumb, giving him a sad smile. You slowly leaned forward, only enough to graze his lips. Spencer was the one to actually initiate the kiss, the kiss that seemingly lasted a lifetime, the kiss that made you forget why he had to leave afterwards. He was your drug, in more ways than one. He could always make you forget. It was dangerous to be with him, and you knew that. And yet you always seemed to find you way back to him.

As his lips found their way to your ear, he breathed, no louder than a sigh, “I promise, bubba, no more lies. I love you, Y/N.” You buried your face in his shoulder and nodded. You loved him too, so much, and you weren’t lying-- neither of you were.

#spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid angst #mgg #mgg x reader #theas originals

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rmtndew · 4 years

Text

All I’ve Ever Known ~ Chapter 4

Summary: Fiona’s life is a shattered fraction of what it used to be. She’s trying to navigate her new normal when she meets Detective Marshall, who gives her something more to look forward to.

Pairing: Marshall and OFC.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Mentions of death, cancer.

A/N - This was intended as a short drabble but it got out of hand and became a multi-chapter story instead. It’s my first Marshall fic and the first fan fic that I’ve written in over a decade. The title comes from the song ‘All I’ve Ever Known’ from Hadestown: ‘I was alone so long, I didn’t even know that I was lonely. Out in the cold so long, I didn’t even know that I was cold. Turned my collar to the wind, this is how it’s always been. All I’ve ever known is how to hold my own, but now I want to hold you, too.’

Tag list - @hollydaisy23, @readings-of-a-cavill-lover, @onlyhenrys, @omgkatinka, @speakerforthedead0-blog, @gearhead66, @thethirstyarchive, @oddsnendsfanfics, @littlerinoa, @agniavateira, @aaescritora,

If you’d like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5

I woke the next morning ten minutes before my alarm went off. At first I couldn’t figure out why and tried burrowing back into my warm bed to get my last few minutes of sleep back, but then my phone alerted me to a new text and I realized that’s what had woken me up. I sighed. I knew it was Darcy. Sometimes she woke up early with big ideas for her store and texted them to me, asking my opinion. She met me when I was working in interior design and any time she entertained the idea of having a dine in section, she’d send me pictures of what she wanted and ask how feasible it would be. Most of the time they were way too grand to fit into her pre-existing building. Other times she’d talk about a small coffee shop to encourage more people to come in and pick up their own orders and cut back on our deliveries. But I couldn’t see how renovating a portion of the store, buying new equipment and hiring extra employees to run a coffee shop would lower costs just by maybe cutting back on some deliveries.

I was planning on ignoring the text until after I’d actually gotten up, but when another came through I knew it was best to just go ahead and nip it in the bud before she sent me an entire magazine’s worth of photos. But when I hit the home button on my phone I saw that the texts hadn’t come from Darcy. I had to squint against the brightness of the screen to make sure I saw the name right. Marshall.

I sat up and turned on my lamp, then looked at my phone again, reading the texts from their previews.

Hey, it’s Marshall. I had a great time yesterday. Sorry I was falling asleep on you. Can I make it up to you this weekend?

Sorry. You’re probably sleeping. It might take more than coffee to make it up to you now. Dinner?

I suddenly felt wide awake and was no longer irritated by my few minutes of missed sleep. I would have gladly given up several hours for those texts. I decided not to reply to them right then, though. I wanted to make sure I’d had enough coffee to formulate a comprehensible reply and not look like I was drunk texting him, which I had a history of. My conversations with Darcy at five in the morning were proof of that.

I got up and went about my morning routine like usual, trying not to wake Mom. When I made my way downstairs, I poured a cup of coffee and sat at the table. I sipped it, thinking about what to say to Marshall. I wrote and rewrote the text half a dozen times before finally having something I felt okay with, then I sent it.

Hey Marshall. I had a great time, too. You don’t have to make up for anything but I’d still like to have dinner with you. What day did you have in mind?

My heart was thudding from nerves and excitement. I was so focused on trying to calm myself down that I almost didn’t hear Mom when she walked in.

“Morning, sweetie,” she said, grabbing a coffee cup.

“Good morning,” I replied, then jumped slightly as my phone vibrated on the table. I tried not to look too enthusiastic as I grabbed it.

Does Saturday work for you?

“Darcy again?” Mom asked, pouring coffee for herself.

“Um...no, actually.” I tried biting back a smile but it didn’t work. “It’s Marshall.”

Her eyes went wide and she smiled back. “He’s writing to you at six in the morning?”

“He actually wrote me earlier. He asked if I wanted to have dinner with him Saturday.”

She sat down at the table beside me. “What did you tell him?”

“I haven’t replied yet. I don’t want him to think I’m just waiting by the phone for him.”

She looked at the phone in my hand. “Isn’t that exactly what you’re doing, though?”

“Yes, but he doesn’t have to know it.”

She laughed then blew on her coffee. “I’m glad this whole texting business wasn’t around when I was dating your father.”

“Even if it was, you’re a lot more forward than I am. You wouldn’t have had a single issue with texting Dad first, or answering him right away,” I said. My phone made another sound, reminding me of my unread text and I finally opened it, then replied.

Saturday is perfect. What time would you like to meet?

“Well, there was only room enough for one coy person in our relationship and Rodger called that role,” Mom said after I put my phone down.

I laughed. “I don’t think ‘coy’ was the right word for Dad. I think socially awkward was more appropriate.”

“He was too smart to be a social butterfly, too. He had to have a couple of flaws.”

“He couldn’t set the timer for the coffee pot, no matter how many times I showed him, and he thought that the Sharknado movies were amazing. He had his flaws,” I joked.

“This coffee pot is confusing.”

“He was an engineer!”

My phone buzzed in my hand and that time I didn’t wait to open the text. I read it right away.

Would you let me pick you up instead? Around six?

“Well, what does he say?” Mom asked.

“He wants to pick me up instead of me meeting him.”

“Are you going to let him?”

I looked at her and she was smiling at me. I shook my head at her, laughing again. “You want him to come here so that you can see him, don’t you?”

She shrugged. “You keep talking about how handsome he is.”

“He is handsome. And it’s an awfully gentlemanly thing to do…” I bit my lip for a moment, pretending to think it over.

“Just tell him yes. We both know you’re going to.”

I gave another laugh. “Fine.”

I would like that, thank you. And I’m curious, what does Detective Marshall eat when he’s not eating a cuban sandwich and plain chips?

I put my phone on the table. “What are your plans for today?” I asked, then took a sip of my coffee.

She gave me a cheeky grin. “Changing the subject.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not changing the subject. I’m asking what my mother is going to be doing while I’m out earning the bread for this family,” I joked.

She snorted. “You don’t earn the bread, Fi, you just bake it.” She nodded at my arm. “And burn yourself in the process.”

“That’s the first time I’ve burnt myself in a year and a half. I’d say that’s a pretty good record.”

“That’s true,” she said. “And if you must know, I was thinking of going down to Valley and talking to Georgia about starting music lessons again after the new year. I think by then I’ll have recovered enough to be able to teach at least a few days a week.”

“You’re going to put yourself around snot nosed kids in the dead of flu season?” I asked dryly.

“I’ll be teaching teenagers, not little kids, and I’ll wear a mask,” she said. “I’ll make sure to clean everything between students and have them use hand sanitizer when they come in. I’m not going to be immunocompromised forever, and I’m not going to live in a bubble until then, either.” She gave me a smirk. “Besides, I can’t let you be the only one that earns the bread around here.”

I laughed at her but it was cut short when my phone buzzed again.

Stuff that’s probably not very good for him. Like Italian. How does that sound?

Just when I thought I couldn’t be any more attracted to him, he confessed to liking my favorite type of food. I couldn’t stop my train of thought that went to me one day making an Italian dinner for him as a date. But my mind’s eye set up the imaginary dinner in my old apartment and I knew that would never happen. I let that thought go and took a deep breath, trying to focus my attention on the present moment.

That sounds great. I love Italian food.

I sent it and sat back in my seat. I tried not to let my mind wander too far down the road with Marshall. I’d been on a lot of first dates in my life with guys that I’d thought were great who turned out to be jerks and I knew what that disappointment felt like. And even though I couldn’t imagine Marshall disappointing me in the same way they had - he’d proven at our coffee date that he was far more respectful, even while he was tired - I wanted to remind myself that I needed to take things one step at a time.

Perfect. I’ll see you Saturday at six, then.

I must have looked pretty gooey eyed over the whole thing because Mom reached out and touched my wrist gently. When I looked at her, the teasing tone was gone from her face and she was smiling at me. “I’m happy for you, sweetie. I really am.”

I was a ball of nerves all Saturday morning and afternoon. More than I’d ever been on the day of a first date. But nothing with Marshall fell into my ‘usual’ category. There was something about him that made him different from any other man I’d gone out with. And maybe that was it: He was a man. Not some boy masquerading as one. He was quiet, and fierce, and protective. He thought before he spoke. And even when delivering a threat - like he had to that creep in the bar - he’d done it calmly and with authority. He exuded confidence, not cockiness, and there was honestly nothing more attractive than that.

I was nearly ready, just zipping up my boots, when I heard a crash downstairs. I rushed down and found Mom in the kitchen, trying to pick up the broken pieces of one of her giant coffee mugs.

“I’m - I’m not sure what happened,” she said. “I just lost my grip.”

“It’s okay.” I took a step towards her, trying to avoid the pile of porcelain. “Let me clean it up.”

“I can do it,” she said, sounding flustered.

“I know you can but you’re in socks and I’m wearing boots.”

She stood her ground for a moment, then finally sighed and relented, taking a step back. “Okay. I’ll get you the broom.”

“It’s fine. I’ll get it. Just watch your step.”

I went to grab the broom as she threw away the large chunks of her broken cup that she’d been able to pick up with her hands. I could tell she was frustrated.

“You know, if you didn’t like that mug, you could have just gotten rid of it, you didn’t have to break it,” I joked, taking the broom and dustpan from the broom closet. “Or were you afraid I wouldn’t take the hint and buy you another one if I thought it just went missing?”

She gave a small laugh but I could tell she was still embarrassed. “I actually liked that coffee mug a lot.”

“I’ll get you a new one.”

“You don’t have to do that. I can -”

The doorbell rang and she stopped mid-sentence. We both froze, my eyes flicking to the clock on the stove. It was 5:53. Marshall was early. After a moment, Mom took a step towards me, holding out her hand to take the broom from me. I shook my head.

“You’re wearing socks,” I reminded her. “I don’t want you to cut your foot.”

Her eyes grew wide. “So you’re going to clean up after me while I go meet your date?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She brushed her hand over her barely there hair, trying to collect herself, then let out a breath. “Okay, I’ll go let him in.”

“Don’t be too charming. He might have a thing for cougars and I don’t want to have to fight my mom for a guy.”

She smiled for real, the embarrassment of having her daughter clean up after her letting go enough that it was no longer plainly visible. “No promises,” she joked, then left the kitchen to answer the door.

It didn’t take long to clean up. Even though the cup had shattered pretty good, its bright white color stood out against the dark wood of the floor, making even the tiniest pieces easy to see. After making sure I’d cleaned it all up, I threw away the pieces and put up the broom and dustpan, then went to find Mom and Marshall.

They were standing in the entryway. Mom was saying something about teaching at Valley and Marshall stood in front of her, his hands clasped behind his back, and a look of sincere focus on his face as she spoke. Mom was a small woman but next to him, she looked comically tiny.

I paused for a moment, taking him in. His hair looked a bit more controlled than any other time I’d seen him, his curls tighter and not quite as messy. His beard looked like it had been trimmed, giving it a purposeful look instead of the ‘I’m too busy to shave’ vibe that I’d gotten from him previously. He wore a thick blue sweater that made the color of his eyes pop when they drifted over to me. It was brief, maybe less than a second, before concentrating on Mom again. But he had a slight smile and it was enough for her to notice. She turned and looked at me.

“There she is. I guess I’ll stop talking your ear off and let you two go,” she said.

Marshall smiled at her, then at me, bigger that time. “I didn’t realize I was early. I apologize.”

“No, don’t. You’re fine,” I said, moving to grab my coat. “I’m ready, I was just cleaning up a broken cup. I’m basically like Cinderella around here.”

Mom snorted. “Hardly. Cinderella was made to do chores. You’re the one who won’t let me lift a finger,” she said. “Besides, I think she sang while she worked.”

I raised my eyebrow at her as I put my coat on. “Do you want me to sing?”

She shook her head. “No. No one wants that, sweetie,” she said, making Marshall laugh. She looked at him. “Fi spent a good portion of her teenage years screaming along to music in her room. I didn’t even know you could make ‘Girls Just Wanna Have Fun’ sound angry until she proved otherwise. Needless to say, her father and I encouraged her other interests a bit more enthusiastically.”

I grabbed my purse. “I should have let you clean up your own mess and answered the door myself,” I joked before kissing the top of her head. “Bye, Mom.”

Marshall smiled again. “It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Sparks.”

“Likewise, Detective Marshall. You two have fun.”

We left the house and after a few steps down the walkway, he jabbed his thumb back at the door. “She’s funny.”

“She can be,” I agreed. “She’s a spitfire, though, that’s for sure.”

“I like it.”

“Yeah, I like it, too.”

We walked to his truck and he opened the door for me. “You look gorgeous, by the way,” he said as I got in.

I felt myself blush instantly, caught off guard by the compliment. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said, closing the door for me.

We’d only made it to the driveway and my stomach was already doing somersaults. He made me feel like a teenage girl, all giddy and excited, and I loved it.

He went around the front of the truck, then climbed in the driver’s side. I tried to sneak a look at him while he was putting on his seat belt but he caught me. He smiled as I snapped my head straight ahead.

“Sorry, I just, I was…” I tried to think of an excuse but I couldn’t think of anything that didn’t sound lame. I let out a sigh. “I was checking you out,” I admitted. “I can’t lie. There’s no point. Sorry.”

“That’s the least offensive thing a woman has ever apologized to me for,” he said with a laugh, starting the truck. He leaned forward enough to catch my eye, making me instinctively turn my head towards him. He grinned. “Did you see anything you like?”

My blush deepened and I couldn’t hold back a giggle. “Maybe.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean, that is a nice sweater.”

“Oh, so you were checking out my jumper?”

I shrugged. “It brings out your eyes.”

“Does it now?”

“It does. And you have very lovely eyes.”

“Thank you,” he said. “But my daughter bought the jumper, so I can’t take credit for it.”

“She did a good job,” I said, forcing my eyes to look up front as we pulled out of the driveway. Even though I’d already admitted to checking him out, there was a difference between looking and leering and I didn’t want to come off as creepy. “I take it that this wasn’t your weekend to have her?”

“It was supposed to be but she was invited to a Halloween party with some of her friends so she asked to do that instead. She’ll be with me tomorrow.”

“What did she dress as? For the party.”

“A cowgirl.”

“Does she ride horses or did she just like the costume?”

“No, she rides. She took lessons when she was a bit younger. And she and I go riding some weekends.”

“So you’re Detective Marshall during the week and cowboy Marshall on the weekends? Does that ever cross over? Do they have mounted police in the homicide unit?”

He shook his head as he laughed. “No, not that I’m aware of.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Is it now?” he asked, and his tone made me blush all over again.

“I’m actually not going to answer that. I’m going to wait until we get a little further from my house to fully embarrass myself so that when you fake an emergency to get rid of me, my ego doesn’t get too crushed.”

“Do you really think I’d do that?”

“I hope not, but I’ve been excited about having dinner with you, so I’m going to try not to mess it up.”

“I think you’d have to try pretty hard to mess it up,” he said as we stopped at the end of my street. He glanced at me. “And I’ve been excited about it, too.”

#Henry Cavill #Walter Marshall #Night Hunter #Nomis #All I've Ever Known #Walter Marshall fan fiction #Henry Cavill fan fiction #Night Hunter fan fiction #Walter Marshall/OFC #HenryCavillFanfic #WalterMarshallFanfic

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heyitscmei · 8 years

Text

To Build a Home

Characters: Keith, Shiro Pairing(s): Shiro/Keith Warnings: Potential spoilers for s2 Notes: Sheith Week Unlimited - Day 1: Dreamer, Late night cuddling and post-war plans Read on AO3 Summary: Shiro supposes that it’s only fitting that, in light of old dreams having come true - no matter how unexpectedly - it’s about time they figure out some new ones to hope for. So when Keith rolls over to face him that night and says, “I think I want a house,” Shiro isn’t surprised.

Shiro remembers the way he and Keith used to talk on the Garrison’s roof about the bigger things that awaited him. Them, Shiro would remind gently, because Keith was going to get there too. He remembers listening to Keith talk about flying and freedom and aliens. He remembers watching Keith as he grew more animated, talking about conspiracies and theories and just - aliens.

There are few things Shiro finds quite as charming as the way Keith looks when he’s lit up that way, talking more than most people have come to expect from someone like Keith. Maybe that’s why he remembers it so vividly even though it feels like a lifetime and a half has passed since that time.

“I’ll be waiting, so you better keep up, copilot.”

“Future copilot,” Keith corrects. “But you don’t need to wait. I’ll catch up to you without the handicap.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Yes, sir.”

Shiro supposes that it’s only fitting that, in light of old dreams having come true - no matter how unexpectedly - it’s about time they figure out some new ones to hope for. So when Keith rolls over to face him that night and says, “I think I want a house,” Shiro isn’t surprised. Not really, anyways. They’d all been musing about future plans after all.

“Didn’t you say you were going to find your family?”

“Yeah.” Something about Keith’s expression is soft Shiro finds himself robbed of breath.

“Did you ever think… I mean, it’s a big job for one person.”

“I can handle it.”

“Of course you can.” There’s no doubt really. “I just thought you might want... some help?” Shiro deflates, but Keith seems to understand.

“Are you offering?” He asks anyways.

“Yeah?” Shiro frowns before repeating, more confidently, “Yes. If you don’t mind the company.”

“I never mind your company,” Keith says simply and Shiro smiles.

“If there’s anyone out there, we’ll find them.”

“Yeah. And then after that I want a house.”

“What kind of house?” Shiro prompts. Keith pauses to consider this and Shiro admires the messy hair splayed over the pillow, reaching to brush some of it out of Keith’s face.

“A big house,” Keith decides.

“Roomy.”

“Yeah. So there’s enough room for us and any strays you manage to bring home.”

In spite of how long they’ve been together, the fact that Keith’s dreams automatically seem to include him never fails to fill his belly with something warm and tender. It’s incredibly reminiscent of how they are and have always been, from the Garrison all the way up til now.

He reaches for Keith who instantly shifts closer into his arms.

“What makes you think I’m going to bring home strays?”

“Don’t think I forgot about the dog incident, Takashi. You won’t be able to turn them away.”

“You got me. But let’s not forget who raised 3 baby birds and a kitten because they were hurt. You’re no better than me, Kogane.” Keith just smiles at him.

“So we’ll need plenty of space then.”

“Point taken. Would there be enough room for kids in this house?” Shiro asks.

“Kids?”

“We could go to your old orphanage,” Shiro offers. “Or we could consider surrogacy. Our baby might get those pretty blues of yours.”

“That sounds nice,” Keith sighs.

“So I take it there’s room.”

“We’ll make it work.” Keith tucks himself beneath Shiro’s chin and Shiro lets jet black strands tickle his chin. “We should be able to stargaze too.”

“The shack seemed good for that. Though it’s a little small.”

“Let’s renovate.”

“We’ll need new furniture,” Shiro says, huffing a laugh. “Your table is a little....”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. My table was fine.”

“Keith.” The man in question laughs.

“Okay so we’ll get a new table. Let’s just refurnish the place. The couch isn’t very comfortable either.”

“So how does our wedding go?” Shiro asks because he’s curious.

“Are you proposing?”

“Do you still need me to?”

“I guess not.” Shiro feels warm lips pressing a kiss near his heart. “I’m pretty set on marrying your dorky ass.”

“Awe, sweetie. I’m pretty set on marrying your dorky ass too. So our wedding?”

“Can’t we just elope?”

“Do you really think Pidge, Lance and Hunk will let us get away with that?” Shiro chuckles at Keith’s groan. “Allura and Coran might not let us get out of it either.”

“I can almost hear it…”

“We would love to witness a tradition Earth bonding ceremony!!” Shiro says in a poor imitation of the Princess’ voice.

“Oh god no. Let’s wait until Hunk and Lance get married first.”

“Maybe I don’t want to wait,” Shiro says, rubbing circles into Keith’s back. “I think you’d look good in white.”

“I know you’d look good in white,” Keith retorts.

“Who’s going to be your best man? Hunk or Lance?”

“Neither. I’m picking Pidge. They’re a safe option.”

“Hunk isn’t so bad.”

“You’re right, but will Pidge forgive me if I don’t choose them? What about you?”

“Matt, if we can find him.”

“Maybe one of your nephews can be the ring bearer,” Keith muses.

“The princess can officiate.”

“I bet Lance will catch the bouquet.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Pidge was telling me that he caught a tenner with his mouth in the mall’s fountain.”

“He what?” Shiro feels Keith shrug.

“I don’t know. I was too busy keeping my knife, navigating alien bathrooms and running from security.”

“Sounds like you had an interesting trip. Okay so Lance catches the bouquet. What else?”

“You cry at the altar because you’re a sap, but that’s okay because I think I’d be crying too. Lance will probably make fun of us, but he and Hunk will have been crying the hardest.”

“Do you think Hunk will want to cater?”

“I hope so,” Keith groans. “His cooking’s amazing.” Shiro nods in agreement. Hunk could probably make them an amazing wedding cake too.

“My family’s gonna be so proud,” Shiro comments. “Mama kept telling me to “ask out that nice boy you like so much already.” Imagine how she’ll react when we get back and finds out we’re engaged.”

“I guess we’ll have to find rings.”

“I always knew i was going to propose to you with a space rock.”

“I’m gonna carry you over the threshold of our house.”

“Do I get a turn?”

“Whatever you want.,” Keith says fondly. “You could just carry me into the bedroom though.”

“I think I’d be okay with that.”

“Any other questions?” Keith asks around a yawn. Shiro considers this.

“Nah, I think we’re good.”

“Now go to sleep you sap. We need to win this war first.”

“Yes, sir.” They fall quiet and Shiro listens to Keith breathe, waiting for his breath to even out and letting it lull him into sleep.

This, he thinks, is a dream worth fighting for.

He can’t wait to make it come true.

#voltron #sheith #shiro #keith #sheithweekunlimited #cmei writes #i wrote and rewrote this like 5 times but i think im finally happy with it

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totallylesbians · 6 years

Text

A follower wanted to share their coming out story but wanted to remain anonymous so I’m posting it for them below

It’s june my friends. My favorite month of the year. It’s the month where spring turns into summer, the month i was born, the month school ends, but most importantly, the month where i am free to express who i am with my community. This year is my biggest year to celebrate pride. I have face so many challenges in the past 12 months. On july 27th of last year, i came out on my social media. I rewrote the post 10 times, posted it and deleted it 4 times, and screamed once really loudly before finally leaving the post up. I received so much positive feedback from the post and i was overwhelmed. Unfortunately, a month and a half later i sat crying in my room on the phone with my best friend while deleting the post. Word was circulating through the school about my sexuality, but that wasn't the problem. The problem was that a now ex-best-friend started a rumor about me that wasn't pleasant. It was offending and unfortunately for me, people believed it and it opened up a whole world of problems. I was losing friends, i had a new nickname, and i became “that girl”. Now, at 14 years old, this seemed like the worst challenge i would have to face my freshman year, but i was truly mistaken. After the whole debacle died down a little, i resumed to my regular routine of playing field hockey and sleeping. A few month had past and it was winter time. I was living a happy life of being one foot out the closet. The only people who didn't know that i was ~bisexual~ were my parents. I didn't have a reason to tell them. I didn't have a girlfriend and if anybody decided to tell them, they had no proof. But that all changed so quickly. Within the first 2 days of 2018, i started talking to this amazing girl who saved my life. She didn't know it at the time, but i was trying to overdose on pills that night. Things with the rumor had stirred up again and it was worse than last time. The girl talked to me all night and made me realise that it would get better. Shortly after that, i fell hopelessly and blindly in love with her. It was great. I was happy with her, but not with myself. At the time, i thought she was the only source of happiness that i needed, but as we all know, superficial happiness only last so long. So, a month into the relationship, i began to feel trapped.

I had a reason to come out now. People knew about the girl at school and at any moment, a text, Dm, or facebook message could be sent to my mom and dad telling them about the huge secret i was keeping from them, I felt so bad for the girl. I had begun to freak out on her, ignore her for no reason, and distant myself. She noticed and we had a talk about it, but i only told her i was stressed. So, in order to take my anger and stress out elsewear, i began cutting. At first it was one cut, then it was two, then suddenly my hips were covered in cuts. Around the two month mark of my relationship with the girl, the worst thing happened. I was sitting on the couch watching TV. My mom and dad were getting ready for dinner. My friends mom wanted to talk to my mom, so she called me. I freaked. I ran upstairs and told my mom that my friends mom wanted to talk. She said okay and i went downstairs and waited. When she came downstairs she looked at me and said “is there anything you want to confess before she calls me”. I remember feeling my heart beat out of my chest. So many things ran through my mind, but the only one i could think to say was “im gay” and i did. I blurted it out. My mothers jaw dropped to the floor. I felt like i was gonna throw up, cry, and scream all at once. Part of me wanted to say “gotcha mom. Im joking.” but another part of me was saying “finally, that weight is gone”. Everything after that was a blur. A lot of screaming, crying, and 2 trips to the bathroom to throw up. My parents saw the cuts too. My whole life had been flipped upside down in the matter of minutes, but all could think about was my girlfriend. I remember being forced to call her and tell her that we wouldn't be talking for a while.

My mother asked me if i wanted to go somewhere to get help. I said yes. 5 days later i was admitted to a treatment facility. I spent five days there and in those five days, i learned so much about myself. I learned that i am who i am. I can't change it no matter how hard i try. When i got out, my girlfriend and i decided it would be best for my recovery to not be together. In the end, it worked out and we are still great friends, but things didn't exactly work out with my parents. They do not accept me. I'm sure everyone is saying “why are you sharing your story if it doesn't have a happy ending” but it does. It's just not their happy ending. Its my happy ending. I found acceptance in myself. A year ago, i wouldn't have wrote this for myself, let alone other people. You will never be able to find acceptance in anyone else until you find acceptance in yourself. If your parents, or friends, or society doesn't accept you, it is not your fault. The most important part of coming out, is coming out to yourself first. If you don't want a label on yourself, then dont use a label. Labels can be constricting. If your like me, i say to people “i fall in love with who i fall in love with” and that's what i tell my parents now. Yes, it is hard as hell not being accepted by them, but i am who i am, and i dont hide that anymore. I am unapologetically me. So, if you're, gay, bisexual, pansexual, transgender, or any part of the LGBTQ+ community, be proud of who you are this month and every month following. You can't change who you are meant to be. Be proud.

#anon #text #coming out #coming out stories

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araminthe-ispwitch · 7 years

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hi so i love your writing its amazing i especially love gay highschool romance its my favourite i was wondering if i could have some advice im trying to write a school fic and im not sure how to transition between different characters since theres quite a lot. its in third person if that helps. if you have any other tips for school fics id be happy to hear them :)

WOWOKAY HOLY SHIT IT’S BEEN A WHILE SINCE SOMEONE PRAISED MY KNB FIC

(Alsoshit I have to update OTL)

((butalso wOW??? SOMEONE’S ASKING FOR WRITING ADVICE FROM ME???))

(((Okay,I rambled way too much here with advice when you were just asking aboutcharacter transitions… so uh I’ll just put this under Keep Reading. Anon, yourspecific question is answered on #6. If anyone’s interested in writing tips, feel free to skip some ramblings.)))

Well,okay, actually, The ExaggeratedlyPerilous Journey of a Gay High School Romance or GHSR had been my veryfirst school fic (I can’t count that one DNAngel fic ‘cause the setting washalf-outside of school…) and the one thing I noticed while writing it was that ahuge cast of characters needs to be handled with care, otherwise things cangrow way out of proportion.

Letme give a little more exposition on what happened to me exactly first, so you’llunderstand how important writing this fic had been for me:

GHSRwas my second fic in my entire life. After my DNAngel fic (which I really don’t encourage you guys to readunless you want a cringe-y flashback to your teenage weaboo days), I took along break from writing until KnB came along and inspired me. Now, whathappened in that break was that I got slowly influenced by other writers’styles as I read and read, so once I started creating GHSR, it was oodles morerefined than my first fic.

Butit still had that weaboo factor in it somewhere. I hadn’t practiced in a while,so I haven’t gotten rid of that thing yet.

(Andhere I will admit that my first writing style was really heavily inspired by acertain DNAngel fic author. She had written crackfics and I unfortunately adoptedher habit of using “blunette, blue orbs, teardropped, etc.” Yeah. Are youcringing yet? ‘Cause I am. Still, thanks for inspiring me, lady.)

Now,when I wrote Ch. 1 and 2 of GHSR, I was still using my old style. But as Iwrote chapters 3, 4, and 5—and as my word count climbed higher and higher forevery chapter jesus christ—I finally started to find my own style and startedcorrecting all the cringe-y habits I had before (hence why I had refined Chapter1 a while back). So what I’m saying here,anon, is that that experimental school fic of mine practically made me realize howto properly write a school fic.

(I’msorry this will be a bit longer pls bear with me let’s focus on the advice partnow)

Okay,first of all, if your school fic will be having a huge cast (because you canactually writing a fic set in a school without writing a lot of characters init), it’s best to really know each character’s persona. This is easy since if youread a lot of fanfics about the fandom you’re going to write for, you will havea lot of references on how the character is written by the majority. Forexample, I learned how to write Takao by reading works about him, and then Ijust added my own interpretation of him a bit and viola, I now have a Takao whofits my “everyone goes to one school” AU. It’s amazing because a lot of myreaders tell me Takao is so in-character in my fic, but when you really thinkabout it, his entire character isn’t completely shown in the canon as opposedto Kuroko or Kagami, right? But I managed to write him well enough that heseems natural to the readers because they’ve read other works about him, too—andall because I did my research on how his character works!

Anotherexample for this is when I fucked up Kagami’s character. OTL

Backin GHSR’s Ch. 1, I freely wrote Kagami as this food-loving delinquent who ispretty much down to fight. I was sofucking wrong. Watching the next seasons of KnB, I realized with horrorthat I fudged him up so bad and was really so embarrassed and basically, Iwanted to delete my fic right then and there. He’s a food lover, yeah, but he’snot actually actively looking fortrouble. He’s actually a well-mannered kid who is just skirting close todelinquency due to his looks, but is actually just a huge basketball dork.Those times he gets in trouble with authorities? Not actually his fault becausehe’s a mischievous kid—he’s just really unlucky lmao.

(Andthat is why I rewrote Ch. 1. I didn’t do enough research on him and I felt bad.OTL)

Okay,so basically this first advice is me telling you to read other fanfics and do your research. Major characters arepretty easy since they’re popular. It’s the side/minor ones you have to payattention to if you’re going to make them protagonists like what I did withGHSR, since they’re not fully fleshed out and it’s up to the fans to give themtheir own interpretation (like what I did with Sakurai Ryou). A word ofcaution, though: you have to be carefulin distinguishing canon from fanon during your writing. Fanon tends tooverwhelm the canon when the fandom accepts it more—when in reality, the fanonis inaccurate. I can’t think of an example in KnB, but in Yuri on Ice, OtabekAltin had become an Ensemble Dark Horse character in the anime because of hisconnection to Yuri Plisetsky, one of the major characters. Despite his littlescreen time, he’s now one of the most popular guys in the fandom and because ofhis character profile’s small size, the fans have pretty much supplied itthemselves—which kind of ruined his persona a bit. I’ve seen some fanworkswhere he seemed out of character, and that’s a bit dangerous when you’rewriting. So tread carefully when researching characters through fanworks.

Secondadvice: research school fics by reading school fics. Yep, this oneis pretty simple. Just find a school fic, and if you can’t put it down, keepreading and enjoy. You can come back for serious studying on it. (You can do soon my fic lol.) Even better: find a school fic on the fandom you’re going towrite for! If its style is within your standards, then go ahead and use it as astudy material. You might think I’m telling you to copy it, but oh no, I’m actuallytelling you to let it influence yourknowledge of how school fics work. For example, when I was inspired towrite for DNAngel, I never bothered about the mechanics of how schools incertain countries work—because I thoughtthat all schools in the world worked the same. (I hate teenage me.) It wasonly through spending enough time with anime and fanfics that bothered todescribe the Japanese schools’ inside slipper system that I realized that “oh fuck I’ve been basing Japanese schoolson my country’s schools oH SHIT”. Now, I can get away with that in DNAngel,where the rules and the world are a bit screwy. But I cannot bullshit my way through KnB, an anime that is fucking based in Japan. I, as a writer, amexpected to be responsible enough to research the setting of KnB, which is Japan’s education system. So not only amI telling you to research by reading school fics, I am also telling you toresearch the setting of the story. Chances are, there will be some differencesfrom what you know and what is actually real. And not only the setting, too, butthe culture of the school—not all schools mandate their students to clean theirrooms by themselves, and not all schools freely allow their students to go therestroom (looking at you, America). These are simple things you can look up onGoogle, and if you’re lucky, you’ll come across stuff like this in Tumblr, too.

Thirdadvice: it’s okay to be vague sometimes.There’s no need for you to be specific on a lot of details or even reverentlywrite what happened to a character the whole day. You can skip the time to amore interesting event or just be general about something. Because if you getway too focused on giving out every detail, not only will it bore your readers,it will also bore you and tire you out. Take GHSR, for example. In Ch. 5, thetimeline was from Tuesday to Friday, but despite my overly-long chapter, I didn’tactually write every single day on the story from morning to night. I showedwhat was happening in school in general and skipped to the really important andeventful moments for my characters to give movement to the story. Because I can’tjust put so much interaction if it doesn’t mean anything—that would be pointlessand exhausting. This really helpswhen your school fic has a huge cast, like mine. (In fact, the only reason thefirst few chapters were reverently following each day was because the startingcast was small, but it’ll soon grow and I’ll have to put plenty of time-skips.)

Eventhough what you’re writing is a school fic, you still have a designatedprotagonist, so most of the story revolves around them, hence the need to notdetail every single aspect of their life. It’s only called a school fic becausethat’s their setting.

Fourthadvice: your protagonist doesn’t have totalk to everybody in the room. Imagine Kagami in his classroom in my fic,with Aomine beside him, and Kuroko and Sakurai at the back. And then all theother classmates have been replaced with the cast of KnB—so technically, everyoneknows each other inside that room. Now, just because Kagami knows everyonedoesn’t mean he’s entitled to chat all of them up—nor are you entitled to forcehim to. Some writers (most especially those starting out, as I saw this yearsago, but hopefully, this generation has learned) think they have to forceinteractions for everybody so it won’t be boring, but actually, that would besuch a tedious process. You have to think about this realistically, even thoughit’s fiction. Even the most social butterfly in KnB would get tired if theyhold conversations with everyone in the span of a certain period of time. Thepurpose of a school fic is to emulate a school setting, and you don’t reallysee everyone interacting with each other, right? That would be chaos. Let therebe peace—in intervals. For example, when Misdirection was having their firstpractice in GHSR back in Ch. 4, everyone knew each other in the clubroom, but Ididn’t write them all talking to each other. Aomine and Midorima were isolatedfrom the rest and hadn’t talked to the others unless necessary. So unless your character wants to interact with someone specifically, it’sokay to just let them be silent.

Fifthadvice: DON’T PHYSICALLY DESCRIBE YOURCHARACTERS WHEN YOU’RE WRITING IN THEIR PERSPECTIVE.JUST DON’T. There’s this post I’ve found in Tumblr (which I urge you to read) after finishing Chapter5, where it’s a bit demeaning to refer to the character you’re using with blandtitles/epithets like “the blonde” or “the male”, as if that was the only thing going for them. I admitted that it is, but at the same time, I gottause this style sometimes becausethere will always be scenes where several characters are all altogether. InGHSR, I can’t help but refer to Hyuga as the “bespectacled one” because thereare other black-haired upperclassmen besides him. Even with Kagami and Akashi—Ihave to distinguish the two. It helps that you describe their other features,but giving them titles like the ones above can be a bit too much if there’s noone else in the area that has the same description, ya know? So I propose this:

Don’tdo this:

The black-haired and blue-eyed kickboxer stared at the mop of blondehair he could see outside the gates and sighed.

Do this:

The kickboxer stared at the mop of blonde hair he could see outsidethe gates and sighed.

“ButAra!” you say, with shocked eyes, “isn’t the first one your style? That line wasin the beginning of Chapter 5!”

Yes,it is. But you know what else? I wrote that line over two fucking years ago. I posted the chapter over a year ago and I didn’t edit that lineout. But over the course of a year, my style concerning this naming thing haschanged, and now I am actively trying to lessen that kind of thing in my works.I didn’t have to remind my readers that Kasamatsu Yukio had black hair and blueeyes. That was just my ego talking,being fancy as I add the descriptions to his title. That whole thing wasone of the very habits I’ve retained from my DNAngel days—and I fucking hate it actually so please don’t emulate me and just keepyour character’s self-perspective simple. Please.

Okay,sixth advice (and the last one for now because this has become too long): transitioning between characters inthird-person perspective is easy as long as you keep things SIMPLE. Sobasically, you just have to apply the simplicity above when leaping from onecharacter to another! It’s actually pretty easy when it involves dialogue:

Sakurai chuckled nervously at the answer. “I-I’m sure they canimprove, Sensei.”

“Oh, I’m hoping for it. Otherwise, we’ll all be in trouble,” said Kogawith an aggravated sigh.

“Maybe if you didn’t suspend us, we wouldn’t be struggling right now,”muttered Aomine, glancing sideways at the door.

See?For every line of dialogue, there was a corresponding character assigned to it.Dialogue tags and extra exposition helps.

Onthe other hand, for internal narration:

As much as Kise wanted to see Kasamatsu as soon as possible, hedecided to hold back since it was obvious his best friend needed a companion—anotion that Midorima rejected almost immediately, of course. Shintarou didn’tneed anyone tagging along with him as he switched from one department toanother. And he most definitely didn’t need Kise Ryouta pestering him withquestions about Takao.

Seehow in the first half, the narration was in Kise’s third-person POV, and thenon the other half, it’s Midorima’s? As long as you’re referring to who is thinkingat the moment and showing the readers whose mind it is you’re narrating,everything will be fine.

Thisalso works with dialogue-to-narration:

“You four are already in an agreement, correct?” he askedmatter-of-factly. The four high-schoolers paused at his words, staring at himin surprise and bubbling dread. There was something about the way the lightglinted off the math teacher’s glasses that warned them to be cautious, and sothey reluctantly nodded.

Thefirst sentence was in Koga-sensei’s POV, then the rest was showing what Kagami,Aomine, Kuroko, and Sakurai were experiencing.

Justkeep things simple. The best tip I can offer here is “if you’re gettingconfused by the transitions yourself,then chances are, your readers will be, too.”

Soagain:

1)Study your characters’ personas.

2)Research by finding similar works.

3)Being vague in storytelling is alright sometimes.

4)Social interaction with each character in a large group isn’t a must.

5)Don’t dump descriptions on your character all the time. (Unless you’re writingcomedy, but that’s for another lesson.)

6)Keep things simple so character transitions aren’t confusing or jarring.

That’sall I can think of for now. If you still have specific questions, don’t beafraid to message me! Honestly, though? Just keep on experimenting andpracticing with your writing. Read fanfics and do your research. That phasebetween DNAngel and KnB was my dominant experimental phase and actually, I’mstill improving and refining my own style, which you’ll notice if you check outmy new fics. Go and find your own style, too! :)

#writing #writing advice #writing tips #Kuroko no Basuke #KnB #Ara's being weird again #shut up Ara #my god have i ever talked to you through the reviews before?#it's been so long #Ch. 6 is delayed so badly i know...#Anonymous #Ara gets asked

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