#i would not recommend reading the stuff i wrote before 2018

[wrongcaitlyn]

for the ask game !!! 4, 6 and 22 for tyt / dear reader in general !!!

4. If the fic required it, what did you research in order to write it?

oh SO much😭 there was definitely a lot of research into dates, at first, just because i wanted to make sure i was lining up all the award shows with the actual dates and choosing which award shows to write (also coming across the fact that grammys 2018 was on jan 28...) also, the categories that were in award shows, i had to research what exactly all of those categories were for - which ones nico would be nominated for, who they were awarded to (just the singer, also the producer?). the amount of time that i spent on the grammys' wikipedia page was much longer than i'll ever admitslkjfd

also billboard charts! i did a ton of research into records, how they're counted, because i wanted to make sure that when i was mentioning nico's milestones, they were at least somewhat realistic. i read through a bunch of billboard album reviews and articles with producers and whatnot to try and figure out the basics of music journalism.

there was research into transitioning, as well, even though i was much more hesitant to trust *google* for that sort of stuff, but i wanted to know just how easy it would be for nico to actually get top surgery and whatnot, and also the effects of binders when singing/having a performance and stuff

SO MUCH OLYMPICS RESEARCH. LIKE. god i think i complained about this at some point but seriously, the archery world championships and olympics qualification is still confusing asf to me. but i wanted to make sure that, despite kayla being a relatively minor character, i was figuring out all the right dates, how she would get qualified, records for youngest world champions, etc etc.

weather accounts. ik that it's very unnecessary but i genuinely looked up dates for concerts and what the weather was, or when i wanted it to rain i actually looked up whether it was raining, how i could twist it to when it *did* rain, and whatnot. i may be insane when it comes to details like that

and in general, i watched a lot of interviews (though that was in my free time, and tbf i've always been interested in it, even before i started writing the series) about artists and singer-songwriters and how they wrote, how they worked, and just the entire creating-an-album process

there's probably a lot more that i'm forgetting, bc i genuinely was always researching something. fun fact! there hasn't been an italian artist to reach #1 on the billboard hot 100 since 1958 (he was also the first european artist to reach #1 on the billboard hot 100).

6. How did you decide what tense and POV(s) to use?

i had just written a fic (my hunger games au) in past tense, and when writing it, i felt like i kept slipping into present. so when i started writing talk your talk, i decided to just test out present tense and see whether i liked that better (back when i thought it would be a relatively short oneshot, maybe a oneshot series)

the funny thing about that is that i thought i didn't like it, and so THEN when i wrote another fic - my marauders jegulus fame au - i decided to write that one in past tense. a warning for any writers: NEVER. write two wip's that are in different tenses. it's a horrible kind of torture. since then, i've had to write all of my other fics in present tense because i didn't want to mess up my brain while writing talk your talk - it's so confusing to switch it up, because then i'd also have to monitor what i was reading, and if i read something present tense, i wasn't able to write starry eyes; if i read something past tense, i wasn't able to write talk your talk. i couldn't write one and then switch over to the other, i had to like program my brain to think in the correct tense - ANYWAY it was very very hard and i highly recommend to never do that and just stick with one tense, at least until you want to fully switch over😭

as for the pov, in talk your talk, it was always going to be nico! the whole fic was very centered around him, and i knew that i wanted to add all these details on how he felt about his rise to fame - i really wanted that internal dialogue during shows, and school, and producing music, and also how songs would come to be and whatnot. also, i had just written my hunger games au in nico's pov, and i just really liked it😭

when it came to greatest of luxuries, i knew that i wanted to expand on the universe. that did horrendous things to my wordcount, but i think it was for the best!! i got to add more character development to will, which was *really* important to me, seeing as he and nico are pretty separate stories while nico is on tour and will is in college, and it also let me introduce a bunch of new characters!! i added a few other interludes too, with a bunch of different pov's, but the most interesting, i think, was apollo

apollo's pov/memoir (and i'm so sorry, i know you haven't gotten to that yet but i just had to include it when talking about pov's!!) is one of my FAVORITE things to write. i knew that i wanted to add more of apollo's lore and his story to the au, but for a while, i didn't know how to do it - it didn't feel right to just add an apollo pov where all he does is reflect on the past and so i got SO excited when i thought of creating a memoir. usually i'm heavily against writing in first person, but it just felt so natural with apollo - how else could you have a pov that just focuses on the past (pretty much an entirely different timeline) but still with the huge ego of apollo? while he still shows maturity and how he's grown as a person?? i'm already such a fan of including mixed media in my fics, but the memoir has to be my favoritekjldsf

22. What is something you learned about yourself as a writer from the experience?

i love causing pain. i think i already knew that, seeing as one of my first fics when starting to write again last year was a hunger games au in which i killed off like a good majority of the main cast. but there was something cool in writing angst as a theme in talk your talk, when fame au's largely focus more on the reputation of a person, conflicts between relationship, etc. not that i have a problem with those, seeing as im a sucker for literally any kind of fame au, but i sort of put them in the background for this series!

overall, i feel like i've grown such a huge amount with this fic. i started it around the same age as nico and will, only slightly younger, and now they're nearly 20 and im still 16. both in the writing sense and just in general, i really got over my fear of starting/committing to longer fics, because i really just fell in love with the universe. i learned that i *love* adding different forms of media to fics, and that one of my favorite things about writing is exploring how different universes would impact the characters differently - it would shape their personalities, give them some different characteristics and different outlooks on life, and that's prob why i love au's so muchdjfs

but the main main thing is that this is the first time that i feel like i really wrote the fic and got a huge community out of it - i've always had a few mutuals in fandoms and whatnot (both when editing and writing), but with talk your talk, i started getting repeat commenters, and eventually started my tumblr, and i realized how incredibly motivating it is to be able to share my obsession with the au with so many other people!! it's been an absolutely incredible experience <33

well i definitely rambled a lot thereDLKFJS thank you for the asks!!

[lunaoblonsky]

I loved reading Her Spell That Binds Me, such a beautiful novel! I was curious to know what your writing process is like? Do you create vision boards with literary references or other things that inspire you? Do you have any rituals/routines you like to do before, during or after writing? Are there particular spaces you like to write, in your home or in public?

I'm also curious to know, what your favourite books are? Or the books you have re-read the most in your lifetime.

Hi!

I’m so glad you enjoyed my book! Here are my answers to your questions:

Writing Process ✍🏽

I love a good outline. I like to have the whole story mapped out in front of me, going beat by beat and filling in the gaps more and more as I get new ideas.

Then when I start the book, I use the outline as a jumping off point so I have room to forge my own path while still having a general sense of direction. I try to write at least once a day, even if it’s only a few sentences.

I also take notes, notes, and more notes. Random words I like, names, phrases, ideas for spells, a character’s thoughts, or a plot point I want to consider later. Literally anything that pops into my head throughout the day that I don’t want to forget.

My Inspirations 🎶

My biggest inspirations are movies, TV, and music, as well as books. I make a playlist of songs for every book I write. Some songs are more the vibe of the book while others are associated with specific scenes. I posted the playlists on Spotify!

I’ll also have a list of movies that I put on in the background while I write. Idk if that’s a writing process thing or an ADHD thing, might be a bit of both 🤣

For Her Spell That Binds Me, it was Pride and Prejudice (2005), Bridgerton, Dickinson, War and Peace (2016), Emma., and The Witch.

I’m currently writing Her Spell #2, and I’ve been rewatching Suspiria (2018) on a loop. I can’t stop watching it, it’s a problem. 🙃

Vision Boards 📸

I use Pinterest a bit but more so for social media stuff, like pictures and ideas for posts. Sometimes I’ll find a painting or picture that really speaks to me for a certain scene or character and I’ll save it in a folder for later. John William Waterhouse was a big inspiration for Her Spell #1.

I also cast the characters in the books with actors and made a grid with pictures and referred to it when I wrote character descriptions. Not every character has an actor associated with them but many of them do. Maybe at some point I’ll post about that but not for a while. People should imagine the characters for themselves first, I think.

Rituals/Routines 🕯️

I like to light candles and feel cosy when I write, with my cat sleeping next to me. I prefer writing at home so I have a controlled environment without as many distractions. I wrote Her Spell #1 during an unexpected period of unemployment so I knocked it out fairly quickly. Now I work full time again so I’ll write during my lunch breaks, after work, on weekends, whenever I can.

My favorite books are:

- The Georgina Kincaid series by Richelle Mead - Incredibly underrated, I reread the series at least once a year.

- The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky - I would die for Charlie! I highly recommend watching Perks with the director/actor commentary. Stephen directed the movie as well.

- Tryst Six Venom by Penelope Douglas - This book changed my brain chemistry 😳

- The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid - Loooove, the main character is so complex and the love story is bittersweet. The twist was great as well.

- Little Women by Louisa May Alcott - It’s a perfect book and so comforting. I love the 90s movie adaptation the best.

Thank you so much for your questions!

Sincerely,

Luna ❤️

[lizzybeth1986]

(I'm so sorry this is so late, I was going nuts keeping track of the links. How do you guys do it!!!)

I honestly love the idea of a week to appreciate both content creators and content promoters in the fandom - and I know I'm a little late coz of RL stuff but I'd still like to show my love to so many people who have made my time in the Choices fandom such a beautiful experience!! Thank you so much @choicesfandomappreciation for this incredible week and I hope it gets the best response.

Over the years I've been in the Choices fandom, I've been blown away by the transformative power of fanfic itself - I know so many writers who explore facets of characters that I hadn't even thought of, placed them in different universes...and sometimes even wrote fics that attempted to improve on things that canon either left hanging or that canon did wrong. My reading had gone down in the past few years and there's a whole bunch of fics I've bookmarked hoping I'll do full justice to reading them...but here are the ones I really wanted to give a shoutout to:

Fics and Meta:

@callmetippytumbles - Shoutout to one of my oldest friends in the fandom. While she is no longer active in the Choices fandom, I have to say her work changed the way I looked at fanwork in big ways. Tippy's fics are the best because she has an exquisite way of exploring her characters and making them come alive, and a fantastic sense of humour which she injects into a lot of her work. She incorporated themes and discussions that she experienced and/or researched on, in ways that flowed seamlessly into her narratives. Her series Home, and her fics Wash Day and Juneteenth (among many others) was a great example of this. She also wrote one of the few Drake x Kiara fics I liked (of course this was kind of before canon itself crapped itself all over that possibility) called Bold. Metawise, she was no stranger to essays and often did reviews that made people laugh their lungs out and think deeply about stuff at the same time. I miss her presence in fandom immensely but I feel great joy seeing her post about all the things she loves 🥰

@thefirstcourtesan - Also an old friend whose fanfic I was a big fan of when I first became part of the fandom in 2018. She has written on a range of books, but I tend to stick to books and pairings I know really well so my favourites always wind up being her Eleanor x Liam fics, as well as her friendship fics that feature her Drake MC Amelia with Hana. Amelia and Hana are two very different people with different responses to similar family environments, and therein lies the beauty of that relationship. A lot of her transformative fic re: Hana was done with this MC's PoV (Eleanor, her Liam MC, was closer to Olivia and - in a AU/rewrite - Kiara). My favourites were The Perfect Gift which rewrote the gift-choosing scene in TRR3, and her fics featuring Hana and Amelia supporting each other during labour (The Best Laid Plans & Support). The second in that pair - Support - is more recent and I love it especially for how Misha isn't afraid to explore Amelia's flaws and where she can do better in her friendship with Hana (plus Kiara gets to go off about it to Amelia's face, which I highly appreciate).

@cassiopeiacorvus - I'm absolutely in love with Cassi's meta and hcs!! She has some of the most creative ones, and I love how she (and this is something I see in @thecapturedafrique too) incorporates details from canon and tries to integrate fresher perspectives. Among her meta I would highly recommend the essays that explore what being single in Choices books look like, her absolutely brilliant essay on Xanthe...and her Liam, Hana and Kiara HCs! (My absolute favourite is the hc that Liam and Hana regularly fight over whether vanilla or chocolate is better 😄). Her fic, A Lesson in Sources, is a sumptuous treat of humour, familial bonding and lore and I would highly recommend it to all TRR fans. She's also an incredible artist...but that's a post better suited for tomorrow!

@thecapturedafrique - Listen if there is one reason you haven't seen a lot of Nikki's fanfic, it's because she's super-detail-oriented and has a whole incredible UNIVERSE for her TRR characters! It's why I honestly cannot wait for her fics to come out, but for now she has plenty of amazing headcanons that explore so much about the characters and give them so much depth. You can see how her consummate worldbuilding has made her fics incredible, from her Liam fanfic Silver Spoons. It highlights the tension between Liam and Constantine after the reveal in Book 2, Regina maintaining the peace between the two and acting as the reasoning factor, hints of her MC Ally's background and of course, a whiff of jasmine perfume that is a reminder of Liam's mother 🥺 Nikki also recently put out an excerpt of her beautiful fic based on Kiara's Cotillion, and I hope to see it in full soon 🥰

@mand-delemonde - If you're a Kiara stan you HAVE to read Midterms! It's a sweet, subtly humourous fic that looks at a Kiara who is privileged but happy to use that privilege for good. In an ocean of fics that simply insult and tear her down, this was a realistic and fun depiction of her that didn't try to make her out to be picture-perfect yet explored how great of a friend she was. He is also writing "Favourites" (here's 1 and 2) which is an ongoing series exploring Liam's (referred to as Philip) relationship with each of his four children.

@twinkleallnight - I met her last year and we bonded instantly over being Desi Choices fans! I've had the opportunity to see some really lovely stuff from her, including her series Once Upon a Time which follows different characters of the TRR series telling stories to their children. A lot of the pairings are new to me, but I really loved the overriding theme of translating your own story into a fairytale for kids. She also recently wrote two really good Kiara focused fics - Melting Moments explores her as a teen and All We Have Is One Another, where she has to let some of those teen dreams go, as an adult. Really loved the way she characterized Kiara there as both practical and a dreamer!

@lorirwritesfanfic - Lori writes for a range of characters, pairings and books, but I have a HUGE soft spot for the Hayden x MC fics!! Her Hayden and Natasha are wonderful and loving and incredibly sexy together. One of my favourite stories is Fate/Coincidences, which was written around the time of the first Hayden Young Appreciation Week. It was an incredible piece which looks at how Hayden perceives questions of having a soul and finding ones true love, even after he has left Eros. Recently she wrote the sweetest wedding proposal fic for the two as well!!

@zoey-wades - Her Liam x Lyra fics are amazing, and honestly her MC Lyra is so amazing and she explores them both in a canon-verse (one of the big gems is Picture Day, which I love especially for its adorable depiction of Liam doing a hairstyle his young daughter's curly hair (and is one of the best TRR fics I have seen exploring a black person's hair and their relationship to it) as well as another one, Start Spreading the News, that explores Lyra's homesickness for NY) and a Dark Liam x Lyra-verse named Honeymoon that takes place in a Crime Family AU. Very often a darker version of Liam is written as an unrelieved villain, but this series of fics explores him in a lot of depth.

@lilyoffandoms - I haven't been able to read a lot of her fic since I left Choices before BoLaS came out, but I was mesmerized by her drabbles and short pieces! I honestly can't get over how much emotion and subtle interactions she packs over a few hundred words...that's a skill in itself and she does it so well. A mood that would take me 1000 words to set up, Lily can set up in maybe 300 or less. Amazing. My favourite has to be the Game Night, which pairs Lily Spencer of BB and Chadley of RCD. They're very much their fun canon characters...and a pair I wouldn't have thought twice about...but she did make me as a reader connect to them 🥰 She's also done a super cute A Year of Kisses series that I'm slowly trying to read that is based on mainly Tyril x MC of Blades.

@missameliep - I've just begun reading some of their work and I love it! I recently read the mini-series Rainy Days and it touched me to see a depiction that focuses on what Liam went through when his father died, and his own doubts about his capabilities as a king. Canon often avoided this and it really makes my heart glad to see a fic that tries to center Liam in that exploration rather than the MC or anyone else. They've also done some really lovely D&D, Blades and RoD fics!

@noesapphic - I met and spoke to her while I was running an appreciation week but I'm certain I've known her before then! Recently she filled me in on what happened in D&D post Book 1, which made me a slight bit more confident about reading and understanding fics from that book! She seems to have a knack for very deep worldbyilding and crossing over universes, which I find very impressive, and she has done fics for ACoR, RoD and TRM. Very recently I've begun reading her epic Supernatural AU for D&D, The Cursed Heiress. It's still my early days of reading and I've been saving the chapters to comment on soon, but I've found it elaborate, intriguing and full of wonderful magical lore! I can't wait to read more!!

@ohsnapitzlovehacker - I know them more for their lovely hcs, cute MCs and riveting liveblogs, but they've also written one of my favourite meta series' - Being Black in Choices. The first essay explores the experience of playing with a Black MC (including talking about context and appearance) and the second about contextualizing LI treatment! Truly an amazing essay duo! I've also seen some amazing Sloane fic with her PM MC Aaron, and they're so cute and funny and wholesome together 💖

@feisty-mary - She was one of the first people I talked to in fandom and she did incredible work both with fandom and meta! Among her fanfic my favourites were her Chazz x Violet fic, The Beauty and Beast, as well as A Pawn's Gambit, where her MC Sabrina speaks to Bertrand, reiterating her belief in Liam after the events of Book 1. In Meta I think my all-time fave was her first essay on Liam, written immediately after the Book 1 finale which explained perfectly why Liam's reaction made sense (remember - this was at a time when he was receiving all sorts of hate for choosing Madeleine).

Along with these fantastic writers, are those whose work I've loved, and who I still miss because they are no longer a part of the fandom:

1. Pixieferry - Her Tale of Tales (a Hamid x MC fic that explores his story in the context of what the Ottoman Empire was like at the time) was so incredible and intricate. You could almost smell the roses and feel the pathos of Hamid's situation. She also had some really cute Liam x MC fics and was a Storyscape fan who did fics on Titanic as well!!

2. Violetflipflops - She had fics on an insane number of pairings but my favourites were always her fics with Liam and her MC at the time Allie Keswick. Especially the ones from Books 1 and 2.

3. Alicars: I still recall she had a one-shot fic where her MC was preparing to marry someone else while still having feelings for Liam...and it was so good and received such an incredible response that it developed into an 8-chapter (I think?) story. And it was such a beautiful one where Liam and Alex had lost and found each other.

4. The OC Lady Plays Choices: She quit PB a long time ago but I remember her fics with great fondness. She was also one of my first friends in the Choices fandom. She did a lot of Liam x MC fics - some smut, some fluff - but my fave was one where Liam was explaining his country's history (TCaTF, essentially) through stories to the MC. It was cute, fluffy and a slight bit sexy towards the end xD

[fountainpenguin]

Hi, Minor Blog & Fic Updates

If you don't want to read this today, consider checking out my pinned post when you can, and/or just read the ScarletPenguin section at bottom for transparency

---

📌 Made a minor update to my pinned post; I removed the spreadsheet link since my buffer's running low and it'll be one less thing to worry about while I play catch-up. Also added a permanent ask game, mostly to give visitors / new followers a way to break the ice if they want to. I'll also add a link to this post to the pinned one.

🦷 I've moved my one Coco 'fic (That 4k contest entry I wrote September 2018) to the Anonymous collection. If you would still like the AO3 link, it's here (River Teeth). It's also currently available on my FFN.

🐶 Dog's Life Chapter 9 goes up on Tuesday, then Chapter 10 goes up on October 3rd. That's the last chapter of Session 1 and the 'fic will be on hiatus while I build the Session 2 buffer.

🎃 I expect to post a lot of short pieces in October; I'm giving myself a (tentative) monthly challenge so I can get rid of a bunch of WIPs without holding onto them for a year. Not committing to a full 31 days, but I've got a lot of little things that don't need to be masterpieces, so it should be a busy month. I'll probably do one announcement post each Friday instead of individual story announcements. Still very much playing this by ear and I might get busy IRL, but expect at least a few things.

I had a plan to post something Anti-Fairy related for Friday the 13th in October, but it's not playing nice with me so we'll see.

✍️ After October, I need to spend time rebuilding my 'fic buffers. I'd also like to update my table of contents tab and possibly the sideblog. In other words, expect a busy October for 'fic updates. November will probably be Traffic Season 5 drabbles and stuff (I'm guessing), and then we'll start winding down on 'fics during December and January. I'll probably post again in Feb or March; not sure yet.

🐾 A ton of Session 1 stuff I wrote for Dog's Life got bumped to Session 2 for pacing reasons, so I already have a lot done; I might start posting Session 2 as early as mid-November or early December, but stuff for Origin and Knots definitely needs polishing and will take longer. Not sure yet.

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❤️ 2 months ago, I made a post talking about my ScarletPenguin pseud. That's the pseud where I keep any M works, and I wanted to explain how this works to people who may be unfamiliar (as I have a piece I'm working on that I'll probably post as M).

The majority of my content is Gen or T, so I'm using the pseud to keep my M stuff in a separate place [i.e. not immediately visible to people browsing my main page, because I mostly do children's show fanfics that ARE Gen and T, and I just feel better doing it like this].

In other words, if you would like to scroll through my works but would prefer not to run across anything M, THIS is the link that only has Gen and T stuff [It's the FountainPenguin pseud link; you can also access it by clicking on my username on any of my AO3 works]. You will not see M 'fics if you use this link :)

I have not yet decided if I'm going to do announcement posts for M stories. If I do, the posts will be tagged #ScarletPenguin, so I recommend blocking that tag now if you would like to.

If you would like to find any M works after they're posted, you can access them by going to FountainPenguin's Profile -> Pseuds -> ScarletPenguin (left sidebar on desktop).

If you are subscribed to me on AO3, I'm pretty sure you'll get an email when any new stuff is posted. If you do not want to subscribe to me as a user, consider subscribing only to the 'fics you like or even to a series (ex: all the 130 Prompts are in the 130 Station series and you can get email notifs that way even though all those stories are posted individually).

I'm trying to post 130 Prompts in the 130 Station series before any others because I suspect that only the first series counts for the email alerts (Not sure). However, you can also subscribe to the individual trains if you like (Blue Train, for example, only contains Anti-Fairy content so maybe you're into that, etc.) I'm just not sure if you'll get an email since if you want to put a work in more than one series, you have to post the story and then edit it, and I'm not sure if that sends a notification.

I also don't know if you can have a series with two pseuds in it, or how that will affects the tag visibility on the series page. We'll see.

tl;dr - I feel good about having done my part to make this news accessible, create a blog tag for it just in case, and this info will be added to my pinned post when I wake up [This is in the queue]. Stay safe, safe comfy!

Thanks!

[yoon-kooks]

fic writer self-rec tag ✨

tagged by @minniesvenus tyty!!💖

✨ How Many ✨ jjk, badboy!jk, tattooartist!reader

it's my newest series, so it best represents my current writing style ✨ Witch Hazel ✨ jjk, fanficwriter!jk, idol!reader

if you've already read how many, you'll find a lot of parallels in this series ✨ Signed in Black ✨ myg, badboy!yg, soulmate!au

it's one of the few completed series on this blog,,, and the most creative/unique concept i've written so far ✨ Little Things ✨ myg, fwb to lovers

i looked through all my oneshots/drabbles, and this is one of my faves from a few years back. a lot of soft yoongi stuff,,, ✨ Pink Thoughts ✨ jjk, vampire!jk, sex in a bathtub

vampire smut bc why not

[bettsfic]

how i got an agent, or: my writing timeline

when i started writing, i had no idea how publishing worked and i had a lot of misconceptions about it. but i just signed my first literary agent so i thought i’d share what my experience has been getting to this point, in case it helps anyone else with their own publication goals. i’m also including financial details, like submission fees and income, because “i could never afford to pursue writing as a career” is something that kept me from taking the idea seriously.

for context, i write mostly literary fiction and i’m on the academic/scholarly writing path. this process looks a lot different for other genres. 

i didn’t write this in my pretty nonfiction narrative voice; it’s really just the bare-bones facts of how it went down, how long it took, how many words i wrote (both fanfiction and original fiction), and how much it all cost. 

background

2002 - 2005: read a fuckton of books, wrote some fiction, wanted to be a writer but knew it would never happen, journaled every moment of my life in intimate detail

2006: started working full-time (at a chinese restaurant) while still in high school, also started taking courses for college credit; no time to write, and forgot i had ever wanted to be a writer

2007: graduated high school, started college (psych major), still worked at the restaurant, moved out of my parents’ house into an apartment with my boyfriend; my dad got diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer

2008: continued college full-time, quit the restaurant and started part-time as a bank teller, broke up with bf and moved in with a friend at an apartment where the rent was obscenely high; had to pick up a second job altering bridal gowns

2009: continued college full-time, started dating someone else, moved in with him, had to support him, took a third job as an admin assistant 

2010: continued college full-time, still had 3 jobs; my dad’s cancer became terminal

2011: my dad passed away; i graduated college with a 3.9 and $31k of debt; quit 2 of 3 jobs; got promoted at the bank; my bf cheated on me and we broke up; moved back in with my mom

2012: a very dark time; also, bought a house (because where i’m from, it’s cheaper to buy than rent)

2013: discovered fandom

2014, age 24

this is the year i started writing and posting fanfic. prior to that i was a compulsive journaler but had no drive or desire to become a writer, despite how much i had written when i was a teenager. it seemed like a very childish dream. at this point i assumed writing was just a phase like all my other hobbies i’d picked up and set down. 

but fandom proved to be really healthy for me, and i made some good friends who encouraged my writing and made me want to be better at it. i was really not very good at writing. i don’t think i had any natural creative talent whatsoever, or even a particularly vivid imagination. the only thing i had going for me was the ability to put thoughts into words after a decade of obsessive journaling.

i started writing in spring, and by the end of the year my total word count was 311k. i was making a decent income at the bank, insofar as my bills were covered and i had health insurance. i still had a significant amount of credit card debt from college that i was trying to pay down, and which was eating up all my extra income. 

2015, age 25

i continued writing through 2015 and went to visit @aeriallon, whom i’d met in fandom and who told me i should consider applying to MFAs. i was miserable at the bank and knew i wanted to go back to school, but i didn’t think there was a chance in hell a grad program would accept me, since my writing wasn’t very good and i hadn’t so much as taken a single english class in undergrad. she told me to just look around and do a few google searches to see what i found. 

when i started searching, i assumed i would probably be more compelled toward an MEd or MSW programs and go the therapy route, which is what the plan had been in undergrad before my dad died and my life got derailed. i never wanted to be a banker, but i’d got a promotion into commercial finance that paid decently, so i took it and told myself i’d work for a year before going back to school. but then i kept getting promoted and one year became many.

i ended up being more drawn to creative writing MFA programs because they seemed to want people with weird backgrounds like mine. also the classes sounded fun and the programs were funded. i didn’t know how i would be able to afford my mortgage payment or sell my house on a fraction of the income i was making at the bank, but i figured i’d apply and see what happened.

it took 6 months to get a writing sample ready to apply to MFAs. it was the only ofic story i’d written as an adult, and in retrospect i had no idea what i was doing because at that point i didn’t read literary short fiction. but i got the sample as good as i could get it and completed my applications. i applied to 6 schools and got accepted into 1. 

in 2015 i wrote 250k. i can’t find my application spreadsheet from that year, but i probably spent between $300 and $400 on application fees. early in the year, i had finally managed to pay off my credit card debt and save a little bit of money.

2016, age 26

the school i got into was within driving distance of my house, so i didn’t bother moving. i tried to quit the bank but my boss convinced me to stay on 2 days a week working from home. i agreed to it, because my grad stipend wasn’t enough to cover my bills, and i was counting on what little savings i had accrued to get me through the program. i still had no drive or interest to publish. i mostly just wanted to go back to school so i could learn how to be better at this thing i really enjoyed doing.

in the MFA, as you might imagine, i had to read a lot of stuff and write a lot of stuff, and was encouraged to begin submitting some of the short stories i wrote for workshop. i was not particularly into the idea, considering it seemed like a lot of work for little reward, and also i didn’t think my stories were very good.

i also started teaching english comp. i hated it and decided that after the MFA, i never wanted to do it again. haha. hahahahahaha

in 2016 i wrote 343k. i didn’t apply/submit in 2016 so i didn’t pay any fees, but my grad stipend was $14k for the academic year, plus the income i was making at the bank.

2017, age 27

i did a complete 180 and decided i loved teaching more than anything else in the entire world, and i was willing to do whatever it took to become a teacher. i realized that to become a teacher, i needed to publish. begrudgingly i started submitting to literary journals. i also applied to summer workshops and got into tin house, which i highly recommend if that’s something you’re interested in. at tin house i met my dream agent, who seemed really interested in my work and encouraged me to query her as soon as i had a book done. 

a lot of personal drama happened that year. i was still working at the bank in addition to teaching a 2/2 and taking a full course load. in summer i had a long overdue mental breakdown. 

2017 was a rough year. i wrote 149k. this is the year i started keeping a dedicated expenses spreadsheet. i spent $174 in submission fees. tin house tuition with room and board was a little over $1500 + travel. i thought it was worth it because i met the agent i thought i would later sign, but that didn’t pan out. (i made some great friends though!!) tin house was definitely an unwise financial decision; i paid for it out of what little i managed to save in 2015.

2018, age 28

early in 2018, i went from teaching comp/rhet to creative writing, which only cemented my desire to teach writing as a career. i realized i was far better at teaching writing than writing, but i knew i had to keep writing to keep teaching (shocked pikachu.jpg), so i kept submitting to journals. i got my first story accepted. i didn’t receive any payment for that publication. i quit the bank early in the year (finally! after 10 years!) and was terrified about money, in part because my student loan payments were coming out of deferment and i was still paying off my hospital bills from my breakdown. 

in spring semester, i won a few departmental awards (totaling $500ish) and got a second story accepted (again, no payment). i also got accepted to another workshop which i will not name because i hated it. i graduated in may and defended my thesis in july. the thesis would later become my short story collection, zucchini.

in fall, i stayed on at my school as an adjunct, and started writing training wheels which would later become an original novel called baby. 

i wrote 450k in 2018. i paid $373 in submission fees. i was also nominated for an award for one of my publications but didn’t win. the workshop i went to was like $4000 with room and board (it was a month-long workshop). i got 75% of it covered with scholarships and i paid for the rest of it out of my savings, and even though i’d intended to drive there, my mom ended up buying me a plane ticket. again, i met a lot of big-wig writers i thought for sure would help me get an agent. i told myself i was networking, and that publication was all about Who You Knew. but that turned out not to be true for me.

as an adjunct i made $3200 per course, and i taught 3 classes in fall. in winter, i got my shit together and started applying for creative writing PhDs, mostly to convince my family i was doing something with my life, with no expectation that i would get in. in winter i applied to 2 schools. with application fees and the GRE, i ended up paying well over $500.

2019, age 29

in spring semester, i taught 2 classes while i revised training wheels into baby. when i had a completed manuscript, i finally pulled the plug and used all my networking contacts to get my dream agent i’d met at tin house. i queried her, and a very popular and well-regarded author i’d met at the other workshop emailed her on my behalf to tell her good things about me. i thought for sure i had it in the bag. this author also touched base with a few other agents whom he thought would like my work.

i didn’t hear back from any of them. not even a “no thanks.” i set down querying for a while. 

i got a third story picked up and published around this time, and i was paid $25 for it. they also nominated me for an award, and i don’t think i won? but i can’t find out who did win so idk.

my grandpa passed away and i decided to sell my house and move in with my grandma so she wouldn’t be alone. i got rejected from both PhD programs i applied to and decided to get a “real job” instead, and began applying for random positions that offered health insurance, because i knew i was drastically undermedicated and it was becoming a Problem.

near the end of spring semester, i moved out of my house, put it on the market, and was interviewing for a community development manager position for a nonprofit. at the same time, i found out about another university that was taking late-season applications, and i applied. five days later, i got accepted. one day after that, i got a job offer for the nonprofit. since i had no idea how long it would take for my house to sell, and being unable to afford both rent in a new city and my mortgage payment, i deferred my PhD acceptance for a year and decided to work at the nonprofit for a while. the risk was that i could only defer my admission, not my funding, so there was a chance that the following year i wouldn’t get the same funding package.

i lasted one month at the “real job” before i had another breakdown and ended up quitting. 

my house sold for well under the asking price and i received only $4000 in equity once it was all said and done. that’s a lot of money to me, but considering that i’d been paying on the house for 7 years, i was expecting a lot more.

i had a year to kill until the PhD so i decided to take a break from teaching and apply to artist residencies instead. i applied to 8 residencies and got accepted into 4, but only ended up attending 3, because the 4th was outrageously priced and there was no indication of the cost when i had applied.

in winter i picked up querying agents again. i queried 10 agents every other week. i also got a ghostwriting gig writing children’s books that paid $800 a month.

in 2019 i wrote 417k. i spent $441 in submission fees (to residencies and contests, not agent queries. never pay money to query an agent!!). i ended up teaching 3 classes fall semester.

2020, age 30

i started out the year driving across the country going to residencies. the first cost $100 (no food), the second cost $250 (A LOT OF VERY GOOD FOOD), and the third paid me $500. i was at the third when the pandemic hit.

the query rejections started rolling in. i gave up in february after 60 queries. of those 60, i received 7 manuscript requests for baby, but the consensus was that it was too long and plotless (you got me there.jpg). at the second residency completed and revised zucchini and decided to begin querying with that instead. i could only find a few agents who accepted collections so i only queried 16. i got one request for the manuscript but then didn’t hear back. i gave up in april shortly after the pandemic hit. 

when i figured the collection, like the novel, just wasn’t publishable, i started submitting to contests which is the more standard route for the genre. i submitted to 12 in total and was a finalist in 1. i was rejected or withdrew from the rest.

the PhD program reached out to ask if i was still interested in starting in fall, and i said i was, so they put me in the running for funding again and i was accepted. the stipend was $17k per academic year.

like most of us, i got totally derailed in spring and stopped doing basically everything. the ghostwriting gig started paying $1500 a month and i also started my creative coaching business, which slowly but surely began to supplement my income. i also received the $1200 stimulus. 

when school started, i quit the ghostwriting gig. i had no intention to continue querying either book, but i saw a twitter pitch event called DVpit (diverse voices) and decided to participate. for those who don’t know, a twitter pitch event is where you tweet the pitch for your book and use the hashtag, and agents scroll through the tag and like tweets. if an agent likes your tweet, you query them. 

i got one like, so i followed up with the query. the agent asked for the full MS and a couple weeks later followed up with the offer for representation. we talked on the phone, she sent me the contract, i asked for a couple changes, and then signed! 

so far this year i’ve written 375k and paid $518 in submission fees. i’ll give more details when i do my end of year roundup next month. oh, and i finally paid off my student loans.

totals

word count: 2.3 million

agent queries: 77

agent MS requests: 9

agent rejections: 28

agent no responses: 44

short story submissions: 86

short story acceptances: 3

short story income: $25

total submission/application fees: $1472

my (final) query letter

honestly this query letter probably isn’t very good which is why i got such a minimal response, but it got the job done eventually.

Thank you for expressing interest in ZUCCHINI through this year's DVpit event.

ZUCCHINI is a collection that views sex through an asexual lens. It poses inquiries into constructs like gender, sexuality, and love to dissect the patriarchal/puritanical foundations from which our social perspectives often derive. Being a collection about asexuality, each story portrays a relationship that develops from forms of attraction other than physical.

In one story, a grieving widow purchases her first sex toy; in another, a woman uses sex to cope with the death of her abusive father, and later in the collection faces the long road to recovery; an administrative assistant seeks out a codependent relationship with her boss; a masochist hires a professional sadist to lead him toward self-actualization; a woman begins to recover from her sexual assault by staging a reenactment on her own terms; and lastly, two lifelong friends in a queerplatonic relationship decide to get married. Asexuality is an under-acknowledged identity within the LGBTQIA community and is often misunderstood. In seven stories, ZUCCHINI dissects the notion of attraction, explores the intersections of sexual identity and trauma recovery, and conveys the experience of intimacy without physical desire.

Three stories in the collection have been published in literary magazines. “Lien” appeared in volume 24 of Quarter After Eight and was nominated for the PEN/Robert J. Dau Short Story Prize for Emerging Writers. “An Informed Purchase” appeared in the summer 2018 issue of Midwestern Gothic and won the Jordan-Goodman Prize in Fiction. “The Ashtray” appeared in issue 16 of Rivet Journal and has been nominated for a 2020 Pushcart Prize.

Complete at 53,000 words, ZUCCHINI is a collection in conversation with Carmen Maria Machado’s HER BODY AND OTHER PARTIES, Lauren Groff’s FLORIDA, and Samantha Hunt’s THE DARK DARK.

If ZUCCHINI is of interest to you, I would be happy to send you the manuscript. Per your guidelines, I've appended the first twenty pages below, which is the entirety of the first story.

what comes next

i’m going to spend january revising the collection per my agent’s feedback. when i send it back to her, she’ll shoot it out to the first round of publishers. my understanding is that the goal is to get multiple offers on it so that it has to go to auction. if there are no offers, she’ll do another round of submissions, and so on, until we’ve exhausted our options. if that happens, we’ll reassess, but by then hopefully i’ll have another novel finished.

meanwhile, i’ll be continuing the PhD which entails teaching a 2/2, workshop, and 2 lit seminars per semester. i’m also still doing my creative coaching, writing fanfic, and working on my original projects. in summer, i’ll finally be moving to hopefully start going to school in person next fall. 

the PhD is a 3 year program with an optional fourth year. i don’t see myself finishing in 3 years so i do plan to take the extra year unless something comes up. after the PhD, i’m not sure what i’ll do. a lot will probably change by then so i’m trying not to commit to one idea. i might apply to post-doc fellowships and tenure track positions, or i might leave the country and teach overseas, or i might move to LA and try to get in a writer’s room somewhere. i’ve got a lot of options.

overall thoughts/stuff i learned

first of all, you don’t have to go through all of this to publish a book. you could feasibly just write a book and query agents. the only reason it took me this long is because my PTSD brain was sabotaging me every step of the way and i didn’t start taking anything seriously until i found something i was willing to fight for (teaching). i went the MFA/literary route but other, faster routes are just as good. maybe better. probably better. actually if there’s any chance you can go a different route, you should take it.

reflecting on all of this, very little of it has anything to do with talent or being a good writer. nor does it have to do with being at the right place at the right time. i’ve only made it this far because i took very small steps over and over again, and during that walk met people who could help me -- the authors who have mentored me, the editors who accepted my stories, the agent who signed me. and as i got further along my path, i started being able to help other writers in the way i was helped. 

i don’t believe i’ll ever be a great writer. the best thing i can say about my writing is that it’s competent and accessible. everything i write sets out to do something and most of the time it gets the job done. i don’t imagine i’ll ever be able to financially support myself with publishing, and i’ll certainly never be famous or well-known, but i’m good enough to keep making progress. i’ll probably continue to find opportunities that are adjacent to writing and that will keep me afloat, pending my health and provided the country doesn’t devolve into civil war. 

probably the most important thing i learned in all this is that having a wide appeal isn’t the goal. you don’t write to be lauded or liked. you have to stay as true to yourself and your interests as you possibly can, so that the people who come across your path can see you and help you. you’ll need those people; no one gets anywhere alone. if you pander, if you’re too concerned with praise and success or being adored, you won’t make it very far. the rejection will eventually kill you. 

with all that said, my advice to you is this: never stop writing. the ability to share our stories is the single most precious thing we have. you can’t let anything stop you from telling your stories the way you need them to be told.

[weaverofthreads]

On the process of writing a novel...

Ok, so this began as a DM to a very dear friend who had said they were super excited to work on a novel of theirs that they'd abandoned for years, but they felt a bit lost when looking at the project again. They had "too many characters, too many intrigues" and they didn't "know how to create order" for all their ideas. They didn't know "what to keep, what to remove, what to change" and wanted to know if I had any tips.  

I began to reply in messages and then realised I needed to make a whole post out of it, so here it is! All 3k words of it. This is for you, darling! I hope it helps.

Things I found extremely helpful when planning my novel for NaNoWriMo this year, after also taking some time off from it.  

Most of this comes from Alicia Lidwina’s Four-Part article on her NaNoWriMo prep process, and setting up a writer’s notebook, for 2018. You can find the link to the first part here and I highly recommend you check out the whole series of articles for a more in-depth read. 

Content of this ‘essay’: 

Preparation, Groundwork, and Materials

Project 'Stats' & Overview  

Mood, Moodboards, and Key Imagery

Things to Consider, and Important Bullet Points

Get to Know Your Characters  

Chronological Order

Tangential and Preceding Events

Basic Premise, Plot Definition, Sub Plot Ideas  

List of Locations

Scenes

Chapter Outline

NaNo Plan

Additional Notes and Tips for Writing

Ok. Let's begin.  

First of all, I'm not saying that this is the only way to write or organise a novel. It can be tackled in as many ways as there are writers in the universe. This is just the method I used to get my ideas crystallised and organised. 

Preparation, Groundwork, and Materials.  

Take your preparation seriously. I bought a cheap but still nice A4 sketchbook with blank paper for maybe £2 at the local hobby store, and used it solely for the purposes of being my Novel Notebook. It doesn’t have to be a pretty, perfect, Aesthetic(TM) journal at all. Its function is to act as a route-guide through the process.  

I bought a cute sticker from Etsy and used it as the front cover design so that I liked the book and that it felt a little bit special, without being too intimidating to put a mark in. Then I left the very first page blank, and opened it to the first double page. On the left, I wrote ‘Contents’ and then moved on to the right and wrote ‘Project Stats and Overview’.  

I used a pen that was comfortable to write with, which for me was important. I’m a very tactile person, and having nice paper and pens (not necessarily fancy), made the process feel good.

Project Stats and Overview

This is the bare bones of the book, and includes details such as:

Project Working Title: (in my case it’s Weaver of Threads)

Targeted Wordcount: (to give yourself an idea of the scope, but it’s not necessary. For me it’s 50-100k)

Genre: (for me, fantasy)

Series: (will it be one book or more? For me, probably more than one, and at least two).  

Inspiration: (here you can jot down all sorts of things which inspire your world and your writing, and it can be anything. In my case, I began with “density and lore, and feeling of being grounded in a real world from LOTR and Tolkien.” And I went on to include other writers and novels in the fantasy genre, as well as elements from our own world, such as Mongolian herding communities and way of life, the history of the Persian Empire, and Renaissance Florence!).  

Project Timeline: Give yourself a structure, and be realistic. If you know you’re a slow writer who’s prone to distractions, be generous, but if you’re someone who responds well to short deadlines, tighten the time frame up a bit. I said “November 2020 - November 2021 for the whole manuscript” because I know I’m a procrastinator who gets dejected if they shoot past intense deadlines….

Editing Deadline: December 2021-January 2022. I know I can edit fairly quickly, so I made this one much shorter.  

Main Requirements Prior to Starting: What do you need to get sorted before you can get going? It could be purchasing a laptop or figuring out a magic system. In my case, it was the latter.  

What Happens in your novel?: This is not ‘what do your characters do?’, but what, in one sentence, actually happens in the book. For Fellowship of the Ring, you could say ‘a diverse group of people assemble and set off together with the goal of destroying the Ring’. LOADS more stuff actually takes place, obviously, but that’s probably the key thing that happens in that book. So, write the same thing for yours. I’m not going to tell you what happens in mine, because that would spoil it :).  

That took up the first A4 page of my writer’s notebook, and after that, I moved on to Mood and Key Imagery. 

Mood, Moodboards, and Key Imagery

On the left hand side of the page, I wrote down the words and concepts that sprang to mind when I thought of the novel itself. These were in no particular order or placement — just a random cloud of ideas in a rough column on the left hand side of the page — and they included: history, mystery, love, friendship, betrayal, nostalgic, homesick, sense of belonging, sense of place, searching, closeness, secrets… etc. etc.

Then on the right hand side, I wrote down five key words that I wanted to associate with the novel. These would form the ‘visual aesthetic’ in the background of my mind, and could be very easily expressed with a moodboard.

This same process (writing down words and creating a moodboard) could be achieved on a website like Pinterest. Take your time with it, find the right visual clues that really match the essence of your story, and create a final mood board with a limited number of panels that will be your novel’s ‘true north’ when it comes to feelings. If you're artistically inclined too, you could draw sketches of things relevant to your world too.  

While this stage is really important for solidifying the feeling and mood of the novel, don’t get stuck here and spend forever procrastinating on Pinterest or whatever. Once you’ve crystallised that ambiance, it’s time to move on. It’s also perfectly fine to come back to this at a later stage if you find yourself running out of inspiration or drifting a bit. Daydreaming, drawing, mood-board-ing are all great ways to work on your novel on days when you don’t feel like writing.

Things to Consider:

Alicia Lidwina asked herself some questions which helped me get past the ‘block’ that I’d created when thinking about the novel, and those were:

What scares me about this story? (in my case it was the scope of it - it was easy for me to get lost in over-thinking tiny details and get too overwhelmed to handle the big picture)

What will readers take away from it? (in my case, I hoped that it was a sense of friendship, people from desperate cultures finding common ground, and a sense of being grounded in a real, tangible world.

What is its selling point? (essentially, why would an agent/publisher choose yours over the next one in the pile?). Don’t be bashful about this. This is your notebook, so if you’re proud of a feature or aspect of the story, write it down. In my case, there is no ‘Big Bad come to destroy the world’, no Chosen One who is the only one who can stop it. There is an antagonist, but it’s on a personal scale, and that’s the selling point. It’s about two people going on a personal journey to uncover a lost piece of knowledge that’s arguably not all that world-changing on its own, but which means the world to them.  

What will be the three biggest issues in writing the first draft? Identify the three biggest roadblocks, and then take a bulldozer to them. For me, it was time management, getting mentally stuck, and the sheer darned effort of it becoming overwhelming!

Important Bullet Points  

These are five key facts about your novel, distilled from the sections above. They include: What’s at the heart of the story? How long is the story? What’s the narrative focus of the story? What are the maximum number of main characters? And the maximum number of supporting characters (this obviously doesn’t mean you can’t have other, less important characters too!)?  

Relationship between the two main characters is forefront

50-100k words

The novel’s focus is on the characters’ main goal (had to be more vague here so I didn't give it away)

2 main characters

3 supporting characters  

If you find you’ve got too many main characters (not necessarily a bad thing to have a lot of characters - look at A Song of Ice and Fire after all!), then figure out whose story you want to tell here. You can always write another story with other characters in a connected novel, or a sequel. You don’t have to tell everything all at the same time.  

Speaking of characters… 

…Get to Know Your Main Characters:  

Here you can write character sheets for each of your main characters and cast. There are hundreds of these templates available on the internet, asking questions like ‘how would your character react to [insert event]?’ etc. to get to know your character. If this isn’t your thing (it isn’t mine) then at least write down some useful information about them. Rough height and weight, hair, eye and skin colour, general temperament, and any other defining physical or mental traits. 

Next came the Chronological Order

This does not have to represent the final order of the novel’s structure, nor the order in which you write the manuscript, but you need to know what happened within the timeline, and when, in order to be really clear when you’re telling the story. You can write the manuscript out of order, and you can tell the story with flashbacks or in a different order, but you need to have the underlying chronology securely in place so that your writing makes sense and so that you don’t confuse yourself or the readers in the process.  

Preceding and Tangential Events

These don’t need to be in the novel itself, but it may be important to define the sequence of events that also led up to the moment where we pick up your story, and what is happening elsewhere so that you can be sure of these too. In my case, I defined the events that concerned one of the supporting characters’ lives so that I knew how and why they were at the point they are in the story. It relates directly to - and heavily influences - the events of the novel, so I needed to have this person’s history nailed down as well, even though I don't tell it all explicitly in the book (because that would be unnecessary and a bit dull).  

Basic Premise, Plot Definition, and Sub-Plot Ideas (plus writing a synopsis)

Alicia Lidwina defined the story premise helpfully with the following formula:

Story Premise = Main Character + Desire + Obstacle

Pick a different colour for each of these components, and write a short paragraph to explain them in the context of the novel. Alicia Lidwina used the following:

[Main Character] “Harry, an orphan who didn’t know that he’s a wizard, [Desire] got invited into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and wanted to live his school life to its fullest, [Obstacle] but a certain Dark Lord who killed his parents is trying to rise into powers again and kill him in revenge.

Do this for your novel, and keep it really short.  

Plot Definition: This is even shorter than that! It’s a single sentence!! It’s most closely tied to the desire of the character, and lies at the heart of the story. It’s most likely a distilled version of the ‘what happens in the story’ from the Project Stats page, so check that to see what you wrote there.  

Sub Plot Ideas  

Five bullet points (no more) for things that are happening concurrently and which are related in some way to the main story. For me, Kae and Tomas are doing their research, so that’s the main theme, but beneath that there are a few other related incidents.

Writing a Synopsis - developed out of the points in this section, and includes:

Who the main character is

What the stakes are (the story premise is your guideline)

What the main plot line is

How the MC resolves the problem in the main plot line

How the book ends.

List of Locations  

Start with the main ones and add to it as you go on. Write a little bit of information about them so that you have something to refer back to. I also drew a big old map which I found very helpful and also really fun to do.

List of Scenes

It’s very important to map out every single scene that happens in the novel. Use your timeline to help with this, but remember a scene is not necessarily a chapter. You can have more than one scene within a chapter, but try not to have too many.  

I used small post-it notes (sticky notes) and wrote down things like “M joins K’s clan at the fire and K learns about magic” and “K studies at Citadel, intro to Citadel, magic, and characters” as separate scenes. Once you’ve written down everything that is going to happen (this will take some time! Get a drink and some snacks ready, and go slow), you can stick them into your notebook in the order you’d like to tell the story. Some chapters may have just one scene, while others may have two or three. I didn’t have more than two in any of my chapters, and actually ended up splitting some scenes that I’d made too vague in this section into more chapters. It doesn’t have to be set in stone, but it will form a road map.  

Additions and Notes:  

I left a section of the Scene Outline bit of the notebook blank for things to add in as I went along. I haven’t used it yet, but I might.  

Chapter Outline

I arranged the scenes into the chapters already by sticking them in order, but you could do a chapter outline separately after this. It’s up to you. 

NaNoWriMo plan:  

I did this back in October, and wrote down the main goal for nanoprep, which was to finish the background info. Breaking that down further, I listed - magic (how does it work exactly), geography, and politics. 

After that, it was just a case of writing the 1667 words a day. *spoilers, I got distracted and didn’t do NaNo this year* . What I should have done, was break it up into chunks and write down my goals so that I had something tangible to use as a road map, and I will be doing that now for the novel as I take it up again outside of NaNo. Having check boxes and manageable goals really works for me. Find what will work for you, and if it turns out not to, adapt!

Some final pointers and tips:

Set regular goals for yourself. Whether you work by saying ‘I’ll write 1000 words a day’ or ‘I’ll write something every day’, make a structure for yourself. If you slip and miss a day, week, or month (I didn’t meet NaNo this year because I chose to work on another project instead *slaps forehead*), don’t beat yourself up. Writing is a craft and it takes a long time and a lot of discipline to master a craft.  

Your first draft does not have to be good. At all. Your first draft is just words on paper. A first draft is the block of marble taken from the quarry, and subsequent edits and reworking is the process of carving the sculpture itself. The editing that is done by the publisher or the professional you employ to edit it for you later, is the final polishing. Don’t be demoralised if the block of marble seems very rough when it first lands in your studio. That’s ok!  

Take regular breaks. Writing is hard work, and most people can’t concentrate on something successfully for longer than 55 min's, and if you’re doing that, you’re already doing really well. Personally, I’m at 15-20 on a good day. Write in little sprints of ten minutes or so, and then get up and stretch, look out the window, maybe leave the room, come back in with a fresh approach.  

Stretch your hands, and wear wrist braces when you work. Seriously. I gave myself tendinitis on my first major project, and couldn’t use either hand properly for weeks. The ones I have are these, and they allow me to work safely for much longer.  

Keep hydrated. Have a bottle of water on the desk in front of you between your arms as you type and sip it, otherwise you’ll forget. 2 litres a day is usually recommended, but know your body and drink accordingly.  

Treat yourself. Whether that’s something as simple as a decadent hot chocolate after your first chapter/chunk/sprint is done, or a new notebook or a pen or that sticker set you wanted on Etsy or literally anything nice, reward yourself for the hard work you’ve put in, with tangible things you can look at or experience and say ‘I have that because I did the work’. It’ll help with your sense of achievement, especially if the project is a long one.  

Join a local writer’s group for feedback. With the current Covid-19 chaos, this is probably not possible right now, but getting constructive feedback on your work from someone who hasn’t been cocooned in the project in the way you are, but who respects you as a writer and wants to help you grow, will be invaluable. It’s too easy to exist in a little isolated bubble and think you’re doing ok, when in reality you could be creating bad habits which will be difficult to break later. By these, I mean things like ‘filler words’ you don’t realise you use, or other pit-falls it’s easy to tumble into when you can’t see the wood for the trees…It’s intimidating, and it might take some courage to work up and do, but I promise it’ll help you grow. You don’t have to do what the people suggest, but it’s great to get outside opinions all the same.

Submit work to writing competitions. This will help with showing agents and publishers later down the line that you’re not only committed, but hopefully talented, and will help you to push yourself. Use the world of your novel for the setting, and get to know it by writing short stories on the competition’s theme set there.  

Read. Read the writers you admire, and read them ‘actively’ - figure out exactly what it is about ‘that’ sentence that made you shiver, and use the same techniques in your own work (don’t plagiarise, obviously, but if it was alliteration that made the sentence work so well, use it yourself! Perhaps it was the metre of the line? Great, now you know a rhythm that will drive a sentence forward or slow it down etc.)

Enjoy it. If you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, it’ll show in the work. Take a step back if you start floundering, and ‘interview’ yourself about why it’s not fun any more. Refer back to the sections in the notebook that helped to clarify the plot/process, and see if you’ve wandered away from them. Make yourself answer questions like: ‘What is the main reason I don’t want to do this?’ ‘What is the character’s motivation?’ ‘Should I scrap this section?’ (don’t delete it, but cut and paste it into another ‘scraps’ document, and then start afresh from the last place you were happy with. Nothing is wasted - it all goes into building the world and getting to know the characters, even if it doesn’t get explicitly told in the finished product, so don’t be afraid to do that last bit).  

Good luck!

I hope you found this helpful, and if you have any questions or things you’d like to add to this, please feel free to send me an ask here on Tumblr.

If you’re a new writer hoping to get an agent or publisher, you might also find this post on ‘talking to a published author’ helpful or interesting.

If you would like to keep up to date with my own novel’s progress, you can follow me here on Tumblr, as well as on my writing Instagram @rnpeacock

[leqclerc]

How the hell even Mark Webber who probably kinda sorta concluded his F1 career due to Seb related issues, ended up loving Sebastian Vettel after all those tears, sword fights and bloodshed? And same for Hamilton especially after Baku 2017? He has a way with people and Charles really couldn’t stand a chance with his big heart ready to love and be loved by anyone and everyone.

Seb and Mark are...a whole can of worms, huh. I guess it comes down to them both growing up/maturing and also the fact that...well, Mark walked. Being away from racing and letting everything settle down and getting some much-needed distance before clearing the air certainly helped. With Lewis... Idk, you can tell they’re not best friends or anything, and their lifestyles couldn’t be more different, but they do respect each other and even if things got tense between them sometimes (like in Baku 2017) it never escalated to the degree it did between Mark and Seb or Nico and Lewis. Again, them never being teammates played a huge role in how amicable their relations are, even through the inter-team battles like 2018. I remember back in the Nico days and even later people were desperate to see Seb and Lewis as teammates and imo that would not end well...Which is why Merc would never allow it. Too much hubris and ego. There’d be fireworks and not the good kind. Probably the same with a Max/Lewis lineup. They can afford to like each other precisely because they’re not teammates fighting for the championship. 

Charles is...an interesting case. Because the more you look into it the more you realise that he was acutely aware of Seb way before they ever became teammates. That admiration and respect was always there on his end, before Seb was even aware of who Charles is. Obviously there’s the Academy stuff, Charles testing for Haas/Ferrari in 2016 and 2017. But there are more significant moments too, like Monaco 2017 and Charles being present for Seb’s first - and only - Monaco win with Ferrari; a moment Seb himself considers to be one of the highlights of his Ferrari career. And he was there. A lesser-known moment is Charles watching Seb’s testing stints in Barcelona back in 2018. He takes a photo of Seb on his phone, and there must’ve been a trackside photographer there because someone took a photo of him waving at Seb... and then either printed it out and gifted it to him or something. Anyway, Seb signs the photo during the Monaco 2018 weekend (same weekend where they were sat next to each other during that press conference where Seb answers 2642 questions about Charles and praises him and Charles is preening and biting his lip and gazing at Seb and honestly the whole thing is absolutely obscene, I highly recommend it) with a note that reads, To Charles, sorry I didn’t see you mate - Seb. Now flashforward to 2020 and them swapping helmets and Seb writing what he wrote. They’ve been on a whole journey, they’ve had a whole (very satisfying imo) narrative arc and I think about it every day. 

Anyway what I’m trying to say is... Charles has been fond of Seb since Day 1. Before Day 1, even. Most of the growth came from Seb’s side, I think - he went from not being aware of this kid, to being vaguely aware of his talent and ability, to begrudgingly watching him replace his former teammate and close friend, to developing a genuine fondness for him. 

[pencilofawesomeness]

Fics I Absolutely Adore and Would Recommend to Anyone

I’ve been meaning to do this for a long, long time, because I love reading fanworks and they deserve a lot of love and I love sharing things that I love. 

Obviously this isn’t everything, and if it’s not on this list that doesn’t mean I don’t love it, it just means I forgot at this moment. I will be adding to the list and I remember things or come across it again. (Trying to sort through my bookmarks and subscriptions is like trying to catch a fish bare-handed.) I’m also gonna shy away from the one-shots, even though I adore fun one-shots, just for the sake of organization. The list would be super long otherwise, and those are best sorted by fandom. Here... Here are just some brilliant works I want to rant about. 

Disclaimer: I say “recommend” because I would recommend these works, any time any place, but do keep in mind the story’s rating and tags and stuff. Not everything is kid-friendly.

There is absolutely no hierarchy to the list below. They are added as I add.

Fairy Dance of Death

by Catsy ( @fairydanceofdeath​ )

Fandom: Sword Art Online Word Count: 660,282 Status: ongoing

「AU reboot of the entire SAO storyline, beginning from the premise that Kayaba Akihiko was obsessed with magic and Norse Mythology rather than swords and pure melee. As a result, he created the Death Game of Alfheim Online rather than the floating castle of Aincrad—a world in which player-killing is not a crime, and the nine player races are in competition with each other to reach the top of the World Tree. Multi-POV epic following the stories of multiple canon characters throughout the game.」

If Catsy wrote the SAO light novels and anime, SAO would be among the legendary series. Fairy Dance of Death has this amazingly simple premise of making Alfheim Online, the video game from the original series’ less-than-stellar second part, the game that the main cast becomes trapped in. However, it’s so much more. They took the characters and made them characters, and everyone gets ample spotlight—even background characters that normally wouldn’t receive a second thought. It’s masterful work, and to boot, there is a lovely frame of in-game mystery and player conflict. The organization is phenomenal and I aspire to world-build the way they did. Not to mention that stakes are so much higher and this series has ripped my heart to shreds more than once. 

It has also brought me great joy, and even when I was in the dumps and didn’t want to read anything, a FDOD update made me pick up my phone and read when I otherwise wouldn’t have. It has a really special place in my heart. It updates once in a blue moon, but that’s okay. 

Even if you have never seen a single piece of Sword Art Online, Fairy Dance of Death is still a great read. In fact, it’s the Better Version of SAO, if we’re all being honest, so I would especially recommend it if you hadn’t seen the original. Or if you have. The characters are given so much love and detail, to the point where Fairy Dance of Death’s characterizations are More Canon to me than Kawahara Reki’s work. It is just a beautiful piece of fiction, and it makes you question the depravity of man on levels that SAO shied away from. 

Poisoned Dreams

by StrangeDiamond

Fandom: Genshin Impact Word Count: 82,852 Status: Complete, with a complete sequel and more to come

「 Every night now, Diluc dreams of death. Usually Kaeya's. In between these nightmares his life is falling apart. It doesn't take Kaeya long to realize that this is something much more insidious than simple bad dreams. His brother's life and sanity are on the line and there is nothing Kaeya won't do to save him. Bonus chapter added.」

In a growing fandom from a new game, StrangeDiamond swooped in and characterized these bad boys so well I think it’s canon. It really breathes life into the video game lore, and it’s an A+ depiction of awkward sibling re-bonding post-Terrible-Happenings. Poisoned Dreams can be read alone with a basic understanding of Genshin storybuilding, but StrangeDiamond has an entire group of fics and oneshots set in the same headcanon, and they integrate them really well and subtly together. Not to mention that the narrative style is really clever with making you question what is real and what is dream (a big point in this story) and the inner voices of the point-of-view characters are very compelling. 

One Word to Change the World

by AgentMalkere 

Fandom: Fairy Tail Collective Word Count: 43,988 (30 parts) Status: probably never coming back

「 In just one universe, Ultear called out to her mother instead of turning away and the fate of Fairy Tail and the world was irrevocably altered. These are glimpses of a world where a single word made all the difference.

In other words, welcome to the Butterfly Effect - Fairy Tail style. 」

It’s a really cute canon-divergent, and while the series makes no attempt to re-write Fairy Tail, it addresses the major events and just snippets in between. It does a good job at giving the vast cast ample spotlight, but it’s also an easy read. It’s special to me because it was the series that made me really pay attention to Bickslow in particular, and I respect that.

Vigilantis Pretium Libertatis

by aradian_nights 

Fandom: Attack on Titan Word Count: 399,226 Status: Complete

「 Five years ago, an accident freed Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackerman, and Armin Arlelt from an experiment that forced the most extraordinary powers onto them. After five years of separation, of being raised apart to be heroes by a set of three very different adults, they meet again. As they uncover the truth behind their captivity they realize being free and being heroes are sadly nothing but an illusion. 」

This wrecked me.

I still remember when I read it. It was the beginning of 2018, and I had the flu and a lot of time on my hands, so I binge-read this. It was simultaneously the best and the worst thing I have ever done, because I resonated with it so deeply there were times I was just staring up at the ceiling wondering what was real. I empathized with the characters to a level I rarely achieve, and I empathize easily. I laughed. I cried. It was amazing.

I refer to this story in conversation to this day. It handled themes published authors have only dreamed of achieving. Heck, if Dani (the author) took out the names of the AoT cast and replaced it with new ones, it could be its own stand alone novel. It is worldbuilding from the ground up, and any fandom knowledge you take in with you is used against you like a knife leveraged against your throat. Yet, no one is out of character. It’s phenomenal. I would say more, but this is something I daren’t spoil for anybody, because you must be as wrecked as I was. Vigilantis Pretium Libertatis is a level of writing I achieve to gain as a writer myself. It is a masterpiece in every sense of the word.

Life in Glass Houses

by blueskyscribe ( @blueskyscribe​ )

Fandom: Transformers (Transformers Prime, Transformers: Shattered Glass) Word Count: 119,900 Status: Ongoing (maybe, I hope)

「 No one would have thought Bumblebee and Knock Out were capable of getting along, but when they're stuck in a strange new world and their only hope of survival is cooperation . . . Yeah, they're probably doomed. 」

I could be biased because Knock Out and Bumblebee are two of my favorite characters, but it really is brilliant. Two enemies, stuck together—but not in an overly cliché way. It’s the right amount of cliché, with heaps moral conflict and inner conflict and sometimes just beating each other with a broom when no one is looking. It’s also a fascinating look into what makes a character the way they are in relation to the morals they possess, and how stalwart those morals can be. I can’t help but think of this story whenever I see or write a “role reverse” or mirror-verse AU. It does an excellent job at making all of the characters engaging and their own character, despite being in a mirror-verse.

Yesterday Upon the Stair

by PitViperOfDoom ( @pitviperofdoom​ )

Fandom: My Hero Academia Word Count: 424,070 Status: Complete

「 Midoriya Izuku has always been written off as weird. As if it's not bad enough to be the quirkless weakling, he has to be the weird quirkless weakling on top of it.

But truthfully, the "weird" part is the only part that's accurate. He's determined not to be a weakling, and in spite of what it says on paper, he's not actually quirkless. Even before meeting All-Might and taking on the power of One For All, Izuku isn't quirkless.

Not that anyone would believe it if he told them. 」

As a person who normally doesn’t read these kind of minor canon divergences, especially at the time of reading, I frickin’ love this fic. In fact, I think YUTS gave me a deep appreciation for canon divergence fics. It’s MHA in all of its glory but it’s so much more, and even the parts that rehash canon give new light to the characters and their points of view. 

I had read Viper’s work before and saw Yesterday Upon the Stair filling my inbox, and then I finally watched My Hero Academia. It was one of the first MHA fics I read and it still has a very special place in my heart. I recommend this series to people who don’t even watch MHA; in fact, there are some who might prefer the darker tones and themes of heroism vs apathy to the main series. Not to mention the writing style is phenomenal, and I aspire to be that good. It made me laugh. It made me cry. Yes, tears streaming down my face crying. It is the best ghost story I have ever read.

the Vantage Point Universe

by Aggie2011 ( @aggie2011whoop​ )

Fandom: The Avengers (MCU) Collective Word Count: 1,032,651 (35 parts) Status: Ongoing (just slowed down)

「 Six months after the Loki incident, Clint isn't adjusting well. When an enemy from his days in the Army comes back to haunt him, he'll be forced to face a part of his past - and to move past Loki, if he has a hope of finding his place with the Avengers. (First of a universe created to center around Clint Barton) 」

// description taken from first installment

Have you enjoyed the MCU, especially the first-era Avengers phase, but like me, were disappointed in the fact that Hawkeye was barely there? The VP universe is for you. 

I honestly have a hard time remembering what was canon and what was VP. And if it’s not canon, it should be. The VP universe gave so much life to Clint and to Natasha and to all of SHIELD and even the rest of the Avengers. It’s just...so good. It’s completely immersive. It focuses a lot on Hawkeye and Black Widow from before the Avengers team-up, as well as after, and it all flows together so beautifully. Not to mention that I can be reading a mission that happened pre-series, so I know that they are going to live with all of their limbs, and I still sit there on the edge of my seat the whole time.

The OCs, minor as they are, that are created for this are also wonderfully done. I can’t believe Dan and Phil don’t exist in canon. Every character, canon or no, is engaging and dynamic, it is a pleasure to follow each point of view. The emotional turmoil is also handled very well, and the VP universe carries the MCU trend of humanizing its heroes and takes it so much further. 

Ghosts of the Future

by Evan Stanley ( @evanstanleyportfolio​ )

Fandom: Sonic the Hedgehog Word Count: comic (18 issues) Status: ongoing

「 About 200 years in the future, Silver the Hedgehog is an average kid living in San Francisco... except for his strange and terrible dreams of a dying Blue Hedgehog, a Black Hedgehog, and mysterious gems called "Chaos Emeralds". What will he do, when these "figments of his imagination" appear before him in his real life? 」

// description taken from first installment

Okay so this is the only one that isn’t an Ao3 story, but rather a comic on DeviantArt. However, it is still one of my favorite stories. Even though it takes the commonalities of Sonic canon and turns them on its head, GotF really treats the characters well. There are enough familiar world elements to create intrigue, but it is set in a completely different take of the future, so there is ample opportunity for world building and being able to engage with a completely new thing. I wish SEGA put as much love in the series (namely the games, because the comics are *chef’s kiss*) and all of its possibilities as creators like Evan Stanley do.

The friendship and family relationships in GotF are so diverse and all so fantastic to witness. It’s a keynote example of the new hero and the old veterans, and both parties are active and trying their best.

Do not be alarmed by the starting art style. Sure, it’s rough around the edges at first, but then it gets better, and then it gets gorgeous, and then you’re left there so stunned that it looks like just life canon art. And then you could be like me, blinking slowly as my small brain finally connected that this Evan Stanley is in fact the Evan Stanley. GotF is an amazing fanwork, but she also draws and writes for the Official Canon comics (the IDW ones now) and that work is also phenomenal and should be supported. 

Whirlwind

by Lynse ( @ladylynse​ )

Fandom: Danny Phantom, American Dragon: Jake Long, Miraculous Ladybug, Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja Word Count: 75,556 Status: Complete

「 Jake should be used to ominous predictions by now. Randy should know better than to blindly follow McFist. Adrien should think twice before sneaking away. And Danny really should've expected something like this when he got that phone call from Jake. (Secret Quartet fic) 」

I have to start by saying that I adore all of Lynse’s fics, and I chose this one simply because it is one of my favorites. But it’s all fantastic, one hundred percent. I also love Mirrored, the sort-of prequel to this fic, but Whirlwind just has the chaotic pure bean energy that each of the shows bring and it foils against each other so perfectly. This is the epitome of the Secret Quartet crossover, truly.

All fandoms and all characters get ample love, and the way the reader gets to see just how badly the characters’ assumptions are going is positively wonderful. It’s so easy to fall into the “I know what’s happening and so do the characters” trap, but Lynse leaps over it gracefully and lands in greatness. The fic had me smiling like a maniac one minute, and feeling sorry for my babies the next. Wonderful. Simply fantastic!

[solange-lol]

hiii in celebration of AUctober, what are some of your fav solangelo AUs?

Anonymous said to solange-lol:

Hi! Kinda a random question: do you have any favorite riordanverse fanfics that you’d suggest reading? I’m looking for ones to read, but I’ve been having trouble finding new ones! Thanks!

rec list #1 | rec list #2

all recs can be found under the tag ‘lizs solangelo fic recs’ on my blog!

technically its past auctober now, but better late then never to drop my third solangelo rec list!! especially considering the state of the world rn ... lets just say its a celebration of me actually participating in sw for the first time in a while

rec under cut as always!! its not all aus but its the count that thots

Find Another Place to Stay by @unwieldyink

personally i think breakup fics are incredibly underrated, and i also think annie is incredibly underrated, so enjoy ur little cry if you read this one (tw // violence in this one)

Hershey’s kiss by @unwieldyink

we love a godswap!! it’s actually been a while since ive read this one and i reread this while making this rec list and can i just say that zeus!nico and hermes!will are both such valid concepts and this just has a rly good dynamic to it

Actors by @buoyantsaturn

i could talk about this fic for hours but lets just say ao3 has told me ive visted this fic 40 times. im not kidding. fake dating is just a godtier trope

start of something new by jinniefic

if you know me, you know that i fricken LOVE high school musical, and this is literally just the start of the first movie but solangelo and honestly a little more iconic please read even if ur not a hsm fan

paper/plastic by @rosyredlipstick

the fact that this is from 2018 and took this long to get into my rec list is tragic because i think about this fic a lot... a lot. mortal au. very chill, strangers to lovers, very good vibes, will be rereading soon (everything rosy writes is amazing we already knew this)

10:37pm by @buoyantsaturn

surprise another cj fic! fun fact she debated with us for a good half hour about what to title this fic so go read it so you can tell her you like the name (and the fic itself... its a very good fic) (tw // alchohol and drug use for this one)

Sunflower by ChiseHatori

3 days in the infirmary is probably the easiest trope u can find in the solangelo tag but i have to say this one really made me soft just bc it feels a lot more in character than some of the others ive read, and it basically picks up right where they ended in the books

Will You, or Will You Not? by @thebluesideofmyworld

marriage fics... also very soft. just boys bein boys. dual engagements. mortal au. all that good stuff vv soft i loved it

let your heart win by @justanothervampiregirl

this one is short but its also probably one of the most in character fics ive ever read and i really like this style of writing mixed with canon compliance so :)

The Magic of Naomi Solace by Sweetymomo

naomi solace, underratted legend. i aspire to have her relationship with will. lots of familial background if you like that!! and its set at a bnb!!

forget all the shooting stars and silver moons by itotallyreadthatbook

when i saw this in the tag i was SO excited bc we love high school aus here and it was!! very good indeed!! this trope is one ive never seen before and i recommend 10/10 good banter

They won’t always live by Phantomxlegend

will overworking himself and coping with loss always makes me :(( so if ur okay with some will angst then buckle up

“I am fully capable of kicking your ass” by @unwieldyink

i remember i saw the email notification for this one and immediately was like yup absolutely im in and it 100% lives up to its title we love capture the flag solangelo

the night we met by peachyytomlinson

a lil ooc but also very angsty and did make me emotional when i read this late at night. i think i wrote something similar a while back but i just aaaaa will angst man

“look how hard i can cry FWSHHH”  by @buoyantsaturn

call me biased bc i like to claim that i originated the idea of demeter!will and cj dedicated this fic to me but like BRO its so soft and i love it here nico leave the plants along challenge failed

femboy hooters, or the time percy jackson failed to keep a secret by luciethebean

its all fun and games until the fic turns out to genuinely be really good. like, yes the title is exactly what you think it is but it doesnt matter bc its so fricken well written im^@*#&(*)($_$#&^@$(@*)* yeah

Of Ties and Significant Annoyances by seokjinvilla (@thechampagnecocainegasoline)

we dont support jkr in this household but what we do support is this bc this plot is genius and i love it

everything’s going swimmingly by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

fun fact i posed the idea of a sports/team prompt to the sw mod crew literally just so someone would pull through and write a swim au and ethan DID without even knowing. i love them and their writing style is so !!!! please read it

when you smile (the whole world stops) by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

another ethan fic!! this is the perfect fic for a rough day where u just want some cuddles bc thats literally the plot of the fic. i love this one with my entire heart its very fluffy 10/10 do reccomend

pumpkin spice (i hate it, it's not nice) (ok maybe it's a little nice) by tsunamiroll (@catboy-ethan)

ethan fic part 3!! bc i binge read these all in one night!! literally again their writing style is so amazing and the witty banter!!!! also we love a retail bookstore au 

Burnt Plastic (and Other Bad Ideas) by More_of_This

so this one isnt exactly romantically solangelo but it is hilarious in my opinion and i absolutely adore well written college aus and while i know nothing about college this fic is so funny to me (if you read the tags there is, in fact, a raccoon involved) (tw // drinking for this one)

all because you kissed me goodnight by @buoyantsaturn

i have been WAITING for a mortal counselors au and im sure theres some out there already but y’all already know im a cj stan! lots of slowburn, friends to lovers, coworkers, all the good stuff (and i named this one and offered cj a lot of materials from my own camp so this one especially hits!! i reccomend for those good ol summer vibes!!) (tw // drinking for this one)

Waiting With You by @buoyantsaturn

oh boy buckle up if u want an angst ride because this fic tore me apart. i keep threatning cj with “dont pull another waiting with you”. that being said, very much feels like a movie while youre reading it, very fluffy in the middle, we love mutual pining. 

Little Italian Boy by @buoyantsaturn

stream little italian boy by grace gilmore. youll get it. thats it.

The Clues by @thebluesideofmyworld

secret dating when done well is legit one of my favorite tropes of all time and this!!! this!!!!!!!!! its outsiders perspective also which is another one of my favorite tropes, and just little views on nicos life and i love it

So Come On, Talk it Out (your voice brought me back from the dead) by @buoyantsaturn

will solace, sponsered by kitkats, cj edition

no but if you read tower of nero you’ll really like this missing pieces pre-ton fic this is a really soft little fic with a bunch of easter eggs from the book in it, so i highly recommend! if you havent read ton yet and are still avoiding spoilers, come back to this one!

reaching for the sun (you, you, you) by moonswords (@tortadelimao)

i just read this one about 2 hours ago for the first time and i am Still thinking about it. its like the getting together that i literally feel like is canon and the vibes are Immaculate (also william “what about me looks straight” solace)

“Are we on a date right now?” by @unwieldyink

overworked will, nico helping out in the infirmary, first dates & hikes, canon compliant, we love to see it (also its an annie fic so ur required by law to read it)

Outrunning karma by Phantomxlgend 

more will angst! featuring angry overworked will!

Everlasting Ring by minyoongurt (@blueblackslowtown)

i was Very excited when i read the summary of this one, and i think minyoongurt did a really good job!! healer will, injured nico, the whole dynamic. also i love the idea of nico only knowing “thank you” “go away” and “fuck you” in sign language. im pretty sure thats canon

The Little Thing by Rainbow_Mess

i belive this is also a pre-toa fic thats just exploring all the stuff we found out about will in ton and its very short and sweet :)

and of course, a few of my recent works for your consideration

who is he (and what is he to you?)

just doing my silly little tasks

i don’t need three bars to tell me we’re meant to connect

truly, madly, deeply

[godlymvmi]

Donald Trumps racism through the years

Since there's always Trump supporters arguing on my post, I thought I’d make a nice post they'd be able to understand :)

1973: The US department of Justice sued the Trump Management Corporation for violating the Fair Housing act. Evidence was found that Trump had lied to black tenants about available apartments and refused to rent to black tenants.

1980s: According to a former employee, Trump would have all the black people in the casino ordered off the floor when Ivana and himself came to visit.These black employees would be moved to the back. In 1992 a $200,000 fine was issued towards the Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino for moving black men and women off tables. This was to accommodate a gamblers views and prejudices.

1989: During the infamous Central Park Five case, Trump ran an ad in a local paper stating they needed to “bring the death penalty back.” Even after the release of all five males, a settlement of $41 million paid by the city and DNA evidence proving they could not be guilty of this crime, Trump still believed they were guilty as late as October 2016. Oh, did I mention? Four of these teenagers were black and the fifth was latino. 

1991: A former president of Trump Plaza Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City, John O’Donnell, quoted Trumps comments on a black accountant. “Black guys counting my money! I hate it. The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day. … I think that the guy is lazy. And it’s probably not his fault, because laziness is a trait in blacks. It really is, I believe that. It’s not anything they can control.” Later on, Trump claimed “the stuff O’Donnell wrote about me is probably true,” while doing an interview for Playboy in 1977. 

1993: In a confessional testimony, Trump stated he didn't think some Native American reservations should be allowed to operate casinos as “they don't look like Indians to me.” In 2000, Trump secretly ran a series of ads after the St. Regis Mohawk tribe proposed a casino that he deemed to be a direct financial threat to his own establishments in Atlantic City. In these ads, Trump suggested the tribe had a “record of criminal activity (that) is well documented.” 

2005: After season two of Apprentice where Trump famously fired Kevin Allen, a black man, for seemingly being too educated, Trump publicly pitched the idea for what was essentially The Apprentice: White people vs black people.

2010: “Ground Zero Mosque” caused a lot of controversy during the year of 2010. This was a plan to build a Muslim community centre in Lower Manhattan, this being near the area of the 9/11 attacks in 2001. Trump offered to buy out one of the investors, claiming that this plan was insensitive and publicly opposed to the project. Later, on The Late Show with David Letterman, Trump argued his point further and said, “Well, somebody’s blowing us up. Somebody’s blowing up buildings, and somebody’s doing lots of bad stuff.”

2011: Trump, among others, played a huge role in pushing the false rumours that Obama, the first black president, was not born in the United States and still reportedly continues to push and believe this theory in private despite Obama releasing his birth certificate. In the same year, Trump also argued that Obama wasn't a good enough student for Columbia or Harvard Law school to accept him. “I heard he was a terrible student. Terrible. How does a bad student go to Columbia and then to Harvard?”

2015: When Trump started his campaign in 2015, it was largely focused around his desire and promise to build a wall to keep Mexican immigrants out of the United States and he called Mexican immigrants “rapists” and that they were “bringing drugs” and “bringing crime” to the United States. 

Also in 2015: During his time as a candidate 2015, Trump called for a ban on all Muslims coming into the US. Eventually, his administration did implement a watered down version of this policy. 

2016: Judge Gonzalo Curiel was overseeing the Trump University lawsuit in 2016 when Trump argued he should step down from the case. This was due to his Mexican heritage and his membership in a Latino lawyers association. 

Also in 2016: “You’re living in poverty, your schools are no good, you have no jobs, 58 percent of your youth is unemployed. What the hell do you have to lose?” Trump said as he tried to get black voters on his side. 

During this year, he also tweeted a picture of Hillary Clinton in front of a pile of money and a Jewish Star of David that said “Most corrupt candidate ever!” Despite the obviously anti-semitic imagery, Trump insisted the star was a sheriffs badge and maintained his campaign should not have deleted it.

He has repeatedly referred to Elizabeth Warren as “Pocahontas;” using her controversial and then walked back claims that she had Native American heritage as a punchline. 

2017: Trump attacked NFL players who chose to take the knee during the national anthem numerous times.

Also in 2017: Following the white supremacist protests in Charlottesville, Virginia, Trump claimed “both sides” were to blame for the violence and chaos that occurred. This suggests that the counter protestors protesting against racism and white supremacy were morally equivalent to the white supremacist protestors. He also claimed there were “some very fine people” among the white supremacists. White nationalist, Richard Spencer praised Trump for defending the truth.

Also in 2017: Trump reportedly claimed everyone who came to the US from Haiti “all have AIDS” and that people who came from Nigeria to the US “would never go back to their huts.” The following year (2018), Trump reportedly asked “Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?” He has since denied these comments but some senators attending the same meeting did claim this happened. 

2019: Trump mocked Elizabeth Warren and her presidential campaign, calling her Pocahontas again in a 2019 tweet before adding “See you on the campaign TRAIL, Liz!” The capitalisation of “Trail” is seemingly a reference to the Trail of Tears. This was a horrific ethnic cleansing of the Native Americans where they were forcibly relocated. This caused thousands of deaths.

Also in 2019: Trump took to twitter to tweet that several black and brown members of Congress: Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), Ayanna Pressley (D-MA), Ilhan Omar (D-MN), and Rashida Tlaib (D-MI), are from countries whose governments are a complete and total catastrophe” and that they should “go back” to said countries. Three of the four members of Congress targeted by Trump were, in fact, born in the US. 

2020: Trump has referred to COVID-19 as the “Chinese virus” and “kung flu.” This is highly offensive and large numbers of Asian Americans have reported hateful incidents targeting them due to the virus.

Also in 2020: Trump suggested that Kamala Harris, a black and south asian woman, “doesn't meet the requirements” to be Vice President. 

Trump has always been slow to condemn white supremacists who endorse him and during his 2016 campaign he retweeted multiple tweets from Neo-Nazis and white supremacists.

This is not even the full list and the article itself states its not a comprehensive list. But it does speak to his pattern of racism and bigotry. The article this list is from is linked below, I’d recommend everyone to read it and educate yourself using other resources as well. This isn't even the tip of the iceberg. I will also be making a post of his inappropriate, problematic and vile behaviour towards women. 

The article: https://www.vox.com/2016/7/25/12270880/donald-trump-racist-racism-history

[imagine-your-kh]

Please stop and reconsider why you're writing nsfw content for characters that are confirmed to be Children. It's honestly uncomfortable to see. Please redirect that energy towards content like that for the adults, don't be weird about kids.

I have this Blog since the 15 March 2018 and since day 1, I was waiting for the “Fandom Police™“ to knock to my door. You took your time I must say.

I’m very disappointed to not have found a gif of the bad guy of James Bond with the cat but that work too

I express myself badly and this will be the only time I will answer something like this even if I shouldn’t in the first place, but at this point, why not.

It’s not trying to give excuse, just explaining.

Please stop and reconsider why you're writing nsfw content for characters that are confirmed to be Children. 

Why? Because they’re fictional. They’re not real. And they’re teenagers, not children, but I’ll get to that later I’m not a pedophile and even walked away of some of my Sweethearts who wanted to talk to me in DM (and become friends I suppose) because they were minors.

Of course, what I will say can be taken bad if you really want to (and I have no doubt that if you’re part of the “Fandom Police™”, you will, because you want to see it) but : I’m an adult, and I can make the difference between reality and fiction. If they were real, I wouldn’t even have start this Blog.

My dad was a good cop, old school, thirsty of Justice. He taught me as soon as I was on Internet that adults could be bad on it (you know which type). I avoided some because of these warnings. Before I even reached the 18 years old, my dad was already putting in my mind that I needed to be careful about even be friends with minors. I have friends that encounter this type of people, and get abused. I saw the damages.

I have been educated correctly and understand totally what is wrong or not.

And I also learned when I was a teenager that fiction isn’t reality.

Yes, fiction can influence reality. But fiction isn’t reality.

It’s not because you write, read, or play violent stuff that’s mean you will do it in real life.

Fiction isn’t reality.

And another point : I grew up with KH. Back in 2002, I was younger than Riku. You can grow out of a franchise, of some F/Os... or you can make them grow with you.

Plus, in the case of that Imagine Blog, I never wrote that Reader was an adult making it to a teenager. If someone Request for it, I would put it down.

The accusation you drop though if about me, an adult, writing about teenagers.

Like I said before, it’s fiction. They are not real. They are data, drawings, and teenagers, not babies.

I don’t know your age specifically, but the adults in the Fandom Police™ seem to forgot how they were at this age. When you are a teenager, you are not a baby. You know about sex, unless you’re Ace or have Body Dysphoria or anything that doesn’t come in my mind right now, you’re interested in sex. You imagine, phantasm, consume media and experiment this kind of stuffs. This is normal. Your hormones act up, you explore your sexuality, what you like or not, your boundaries, your limits, etc. This is a normal process and there is nothing wrong to explore it by fiction or do it by yourself (touching yourself or creating media for yourself).

And I have nothing to be ashamed of that real children could find my writing ; I tag it for the parents/tutor to black-list it. I even put a warning at the top of the post to be sure you know what you can see. I’m not your parent/tutor. This isn’t my job to scold you. I’m not forcing you.

Like a friend said, blaming someone to create taggued nsfw content that children could see it is like blaming someone to have been raped because they were wearing “that kind” of outfit.

So, no, I won’t stop, and I recommend you to black-list “lemon” like everyone who’s bothered to see tits and butt everywhere.

I wish you well, wash your hands and wear a mask ! May your heart be your guiding key !

[ordinaryschmuck]

Top 20 BEST Animated Series of the 2010s-Honorable Mentions

And now. 

What is hands down.

The Best.

Animated series.

In the 2010s.

Is…

Going to be revealed tomorrow because I'm a piece of s**t (I’ll change the title when enough people fall for it). For now, here are some quick honorable mentions that aren't bad, but just not as good as the shows I picked...in my opinion, at least.

Craig of the Creek (2018-)-From what I've seen from season one, this show is pretty charming. It understands the pure imagination that comes from being a kid and has moments when these characters are more human than cartoons. But it also has the same energy as a Beach City episode in Steven Universe, and as we discussed, not everybody is going to be into that. Plus, I haven't caught up past season one (due to just not having the time), so it wouldn't be fair to claim it's one of the best when I haven't seen how seasons two and three hold. I've heard from other people that it's good, so I'll be willing to take their word for it. And maybe you should too.

Milo Murphy's Law (2016-2019)-I've seen a handful of episodes of this show, but from what I saw, I'd say it's worth watching further. The idea of this kid, who's cursed to literally have the worst life ever, deciding to have an optimistic outlook of the hand he's been dealt is pretty admirable. Plus, Weird Al Yankovic voices the main character. I can't physically hate it. Although the ginormous issue that Milo Murphy's Law has is that it relies too much on Phineas and Ferb's recognizability. I get that both shows were created by the same people, and I'd be more than fine if there were just a few shout outs and references. But the creators decided to force one of the characters in Phineas and Ferb into Milo's Murphy's Law, making it sort of a spin-off series on top of being its own separate thing. Meaning that you don't have to watch Phineas and Ferb beforehand, but you do need to know who these characters are going in. And if you're wondering how that paradoxical concept works...I couldn't tell you. I haven't seen the show in its entirety, and from what I have seen, it's at least good enough for an honorable mention.

The Avengers: Earth Mightiest Heroes (2010-2013)-There's nothing wrong with this series. The designs are great, the representation of these iconic characters is even better, and the level of quality is on par with the Marvel Cinematic Universe...I just always forget that this show exists. No offense to the series, but I just prefer shows that I'll remember instead of shows that I'll forget in another ten years.

Young Justice (2010-)-And before you start making the audacious claim that I'm a DC fanboy, let it be clear that Young Justice is an honorable mention for similar reasons. I love the character designs, and I think the representation is on point. Plus, while it does not have MCU levels of quality, Young Justice matches up with the good DC movies. It's just forgettable...and also because I never got the chance to watch the third season yet. Instead, I wasted my limited time with an HBOmax subscription on watching Doom Patrol, Harley Quinn, and my favorite Doctor Who episodes. Don't judge me!

Harley Quinn (2019-)-And seeing how I mentioned it, Harley Quinn is a fantastic show with perfect satire. And like some of the best satirical writings, this show has a deep understanding of the source material that it's making fun of while still providing an excellent story at the same time. However, most jokes die quick, and the animation is just flat out garbage at times. I recommend it, but keep in mind that there's a reason why it's just an honorable mention.

Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2018-2020)-I know I kind of trashed it with my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) review, but the truth is that I really love this show. Or, at least, I want to love this show. Because there is something amazing and worthwhile that’s hidden under a gigantic pile of poor planning and network meddling. I plan to make a full review for it in the future, so I'll save my thoughts for when that comes. For now, just know that it's something worthwhile if you're the right person.

Amphibia (2019-)-Aaaaaaand it's the same thing here. There's a lot that I like about it, but the stuff I don't makes it hard to enjoy. I'll also do a full review on this one in the future, so you're just going to have to wait...again.

Tangled: The Animated Series (2017-2020)-Another show that I really liked and even considered putting on the list. Even wrote a review and everything. But looking back, the parts that it did wrong highly outweighed what it does right, and honestly, it was a toss-up between this and Star V.S. the Forces of Evil for what took twentieth place. I ultimately went with Star V.S. because at least it had villains that were actually intriguing and terrifying characters. Unlike a specific antagonist with blue hair who was so idiotic and insane that I honestly would have felt nothing if they died in the end...I know that I just made a ton of enemies with that statement, but I don't give a s**t. And if you're nice, I might rewrite my review so I can accurately explain why this series is a tad bit overrated.

The Looney Tunes Show (2011-2014)-... I liked it...other people didn't, but I liked it.

Hilda (2018-)-Because I haven't seen season two yet. That's why. And from what I've seen in season one, this show is incredibly charming, beautifully imaginative, and is absolutely something I would show to my children if I ever have any. Maybe it forces in drama when it doesn't need to, but overall, you can better believe that this would have made the list if I saw season two before I started ranking shows.

And those are my honorable mentions. I’ll see you tomorrow for the actual unveiling of the number one spot. And for the fandoms that I ticked off...be patient.

(Also, let this be a lesson to read the tags before clicking 'Keep Reading.' Unless that's what you did, in which case, BOY, do I have egg on my face.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I’ve owned this blog for over 2 years now. I’m sick, emotional, and got shit to say...

In my sickness I haven’t been able to do much other than lay in bed and watch youtube/start a replay of twdg, but I also decided to go back through my blog. 

It kind of just hit me that I’ve had this blog for over 2 years now. 

I created it back in August of 2018 when I was literally just a ghost- liking, sometimes reblogging, and sending anons but too afraid to post anything of my own. I was starting to dabble in writing for this fandom but didn’t dare post any of the small stories I was writing. 

Like... once upon a time, good ol’ dingus CJ was terrified to post her writing.

Shit, terrified to post anything.  

I mean, I legitimately thought that if I posted any of the short stories I was writing, I would either be mocked due to my lack of experience within the community, or ignored completely because what I was writing wasn’t good enough compared to the other fics out there. 

That was more than enough to make me trash everything I wrote. 

Fun Fact: The very first story I wrote for the fandom was after playing ep1 for like the 5th time, back before ep2 released. It was about Clementine wandering down to the music room the night Marlon died to see Louis playing the piano. It was from her POV and how she watched him in the doorway. She wanted to make things right with him only for Louis to have a break down and start slamming on the keys. Eventually he grabbed a chair and smashed it over the piano. It ended with Clementine sneaking away undetected back to the dorms with plans to leave with AJ in the morning. 

Angsty and bitter, yes. Anything I’d write today? Nooo.

I spent days going back and forth on whether or not I should post it only to delete it because bad. 

I wrote other little fluffy drabbles that I never posted for similar reasons all while remaining a ghost in community. 

Then ep2 came out. 

Do y’all know what my very first post was...? 

Which says a lot that it took them murdering Mitch for me to finally make my own nonsense and kick start everything. Thanks Telltale. 

That was also when I wrote a story that y’all probably either forgot about or never heard of [which might be for the best tbh]: [when he smiled]. 

Oof. 

Hahaha

There’s a whole story behind that one that involves hours of “Should I post it? No, I shouldn’t- well....” Then, a blog that to this day I deeply admire made a post asking for fic recommendations and I took it as a sign. 

After spending another hour doubting myself, I finally quit being a baby and messaged them. We chatted, they read my story and honestly.... that really started everything.

As of today, I have written 51 individual stories. 

I also have 4,685 posts on this blog, and yes, more than half of those are tagged #twdg louis. On top of that, we’ve done over 50 different themed nights and 4 challenges. Hell, we’ve even done a contest! 

I have more friends and followers than I ever imagined like... what the fuck, y’all. When did that happen? This isn’t me being stupid or anything, I’m just a little overwhelmed looking through all this shit, remembering how this all started and realizing everything we’ve done in the past two years. 

Like... I was so scared to talk to anyone in August 2018 hahaha

Now I’m constantly answering asks, chatting with buddies over messaging, I fucking stream games on Twitch [rip mixer]  which is something I NEVER thought I would EVER do, and while I still have a lot of anxiety when it comes to posting stories it’s not nearly as bad as it once was. 

What a fucking journey... 

I don’t know why I’m writing this. I mean, I want to say thanks to everyone who has stuck around, to those who participate in the themed nights, to those who send me asks, and to those who merely follow me and enjoy the content. But I don’t really know if a small “thanks” really covers it, y’know? 

When shit has really hit the fan here in the real world, whether it was shit with school or work or family or the scary shit going on right now, I’ve always had this blog to come to when I needed it. I’ve taken breaks when needed, too, and days where I thought about abandoning the blog because my anxiety tells me I’m not doing a good job, or I get a handful of nasty asks,  or whatever. 

But I’ve always come back because this is like a safe-space. It’s not perfect, but I love it. I love you guys. I love these games. I love the community. 

I don’t think a simple “thank you” is sufficient but fuck, it’s what I got. I’m here for you guys, to chat about these games and discuss their characters, to gush over Louis and Clouis and everything else. I’m hear to work on my writing skills and finish my fics, even if I’m slowest dingus ever haha. 

I’m just... I’m here. I’m here for you. I love having you here and I hope that while you’re following me, you’re enjoying the content, whatever it may be. 

❤️I love you, and thank you ❤️

...Also, side note- going back and reading posts from when the episodes were coming out is so nostalgic. Like, it makes me smile but want to cry haha. 

Reading through those posts brought up a lot of names that I never see anymore and that’s so bittersweet, y’know? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the thriving within the community of everyone theorizing about what would happen next and gushing about Louis and being so excited to see him again. 

It’s so crazy haha

I miss it, but hey, it’s a good memory. And there’s always things to gush and theorize about here, so even if the community isn’t at the peak it once was, we still have fun here. 

Okay, I’m done rambling. 

I’m gonna go through my ask box and answer some stuff now. I just had some nostalgia while going through everything and well.... yeah. Hahaha

[pochapal]

rank every year of the 2010s from best to worst i want some pochapal lore

[warning for discussion of my fucked up mental health and my myriad traumas. we’re really opening the pandora’s box here gang]

ok time for me to overshare on the internet again! super long post because i can’t shut up and you asked for it. anyway, by objective ranking: 

#1: 2012 - halcyon era, my personal peak. spent the whole year writing hunger games oc fics with my deviantart fanfiction besties whom i still think about all the time and always hope are having the best possible day. if you were here for this era understand i still hold you so closely and dearly in my heart <3. 

#2: 2013 - god i was such a good example of a human being back then. was the year my writing like actually took off and i had a healthy balance between creative stuff and a social life (said social life consisting of spending lunchtimes at school breaking into classrooms and discussing fandom shit with five other people. reading homestuck updates in the music room on one person’s really shaky mobile data...legendary). highlight of the year and maybe my life was in the april of 2013 when i got out of failing to submit a hard deadline essay by telling my english teacher i wrote a whole novel over the two week break and then producing said novel. god i wish i had that level of like. fucking confidence back me back then knew what i wanted and how to get it. 

#3: 2010 - the last year of childhood. i was 12 and played pokemon all the time with my friends and went places and had a moderately successful youtube channel and it didn’t matter that i was bullied so badly at school because i was basically high off life. summer of 2010 was so good specifically. i’d used to get the bus with a friend and go see movies and break into historical sites and get into normal childhood mayhem and maxed out my pokewalkers twice a month and i was buzzed because i had two (2) whole friendship groups to choose from and that was such a huge deal to me the terminal social outcast. it was so simple and carefree and even though everything and everyone involved in this era grew up to suck except for one specific person i kinda really miss it.

#4: 2018 - this was the first year i wasn’t depressed to the point of nonfunctioning. it was 20gayteen, i was on antidepressants, i was as close to thriving as i got at uni (going into town with people once a week, attending art and culture events, getting good grades across the board), i started to write for fun again, i got my cat whom i love dearly, i was exhibited in my uni’s city’s literature festival, GOD i actually nearly attended a pride event that year can you imagine. this year was basically my life’s second peak. miss getting the 8am train and daintily sipping on a cherry coke to keep me from passing out. wish this time could have lasted longer.

#5: 2019 - kinda absolute middle of the road year not for lack of anything happening but because the overwhelming amount of good and bad things cancelled each other out. so like there’s the fact that i was at the top of my uni game this year, was basically making the first steps into a professional writing career (covid i will never forgive you for killing all that dead </3), finally saved up enough to buy myself a gaming pc, and the summer after the homestuck epilogues, but equally 2019 was the start of the Pochapal Gender Fiasco which is by far the most horrible thing i am still currently undergoing and i burnt myself out mentally about halfway through the year (being stuck overnight in a hospital for a panic attack absolutely horrible horrible irredeemable) and then got like super death plague flu that i was sick with for three months (literally recovered less than a month before rona hit. god’s cruel karma.). so like...it kind of averaged out? the good shit was good but not as great as other years and the bad shit was awful but nowhere near as terrible as it could have been. gotta give a shoutout to 90% of my current mutual cohort for following me in 2019...omelette route gang make some noise !!

#6: 2014 - oof. this year essentially marked the start of a four year long downward mental health spiral because everything fell into awful alignment. i’d just turned 16, finished secondary school, had all my friends up and ditch me at once, was home alone for a whole summer, and was hit with Sudden Intense Body Image Issues that i couldn’t explain until uh. after very recent developments lmao. this one goes out to the me of july 2014 who did nothing but lay in bed and listen to the same two marina albums on a loop because fuck i’m attracted to men and also my facial and body hair are really starting to come in and if i think about this for too long i will literally kill myself because oh god i can’t handle getting older which is clearly and definitely the issue going on here. my brain fucking broke super hardcore and it’s a miracle that an overeating disorder was like the worst thing i walked away with. 

#7: 2015 - downward spiral year two!! i was so volatile this year it was such a mess. i was totally socially isolated after a brief stint of falling in with a group of people at the start of my first year of sixth form until january where in quick succession a) it turned out every single one of these people was friends with the person who sexually assaulted me whom i obviously had a lot of complicated feelings towards and b) baby’s first crush came out as bisexual but in the “women and also trans women” kind of way which tore me up so terribly in ways i couldn’t begin to understand. no words for the experience of seeing a girl kiss a boy and crying so hard at night you threw up because you could never be her no matter how much you wanted it. actually kinda get the sense what was going on there was bigger than just some crush lmao. then after that i was so mentally ill i basically attended school less than half the time and it was the only year in my life i failed my exams. i ended up having to resit my entire set of first year a level exams because jesus christ was i in such a bad way it was a miracle i even showed up to them. all i did was either have anxiety attacks or enter bedbound depressive slumps for weeks at a time. but it’s okay because it gets worse.

#8: 2016 - downward spiral act iii: the spiralling. prefacing this by saying that i actually had two whole good months (april - may) in that i was functioning enough to do my exams and finish school with decent grades. the rest was super extra mega terrible. my school attendance for year 13 dipped below 65% and literally the only thing that kept me from being kicked out was the fact that i was naturally smart at the subjects i took and also because the school would have a lot to answer for after letting me get to that state despite having a hefty file on how damaged i was. keep in mind every single part of this was fully untreated btw - i was just floundering around and letting it all fester. i spent three solid weeks going to school but locking myself in the bathroom all day every day and having mental health episodes then going home like nothing else happened only to continue the breakdown that night. then things got kicked into fucked up overdrive when i moved out to uni and was cut off from what little support structures i did have. it was so bad all i did was cry all the time and never went anywhere to the point where three separate sources recommended me to the wellbeing and crisis counselling service that i stopped going to after two sessions because i was fucked up in ways cbt techniques could not even touch. at least i tried to make an effort for the first two months of uni which like. good for me?

#9: 2017 - what lieth at the base of the spiral. helltrench year. i was at literal rock bottom. i stopped going to class, i didn’t hand in a single piece of work. i lied to my parents and would book trains each day only to go back to my student flat and sit there and contemplate suicide. like i would just slump on the floor in a catatonic state and vividly contemplate one of four or so ways i could end my own life. i only didn’t because i wanted to wait until the summer to collect my last student loan and transfer it to my parents as an apology for my death which obviously didn’t end up happening. honestly i can’t remember much of the first half of 2017 that’s how bad it was. i remember taking a gender studies class and the teacher made it Weird that i was the Only Male Student in the room and then she sent me a scolding email after i walked out halfway through a class and never returned. apparently i got into a lot of online discourse in this year but i don’t remember anything other than being put on a blocklist by the milkfic author over ace discourse which is funny if you have the context. mostly i just baited terfs and weirdo freaks to get them to say horrible things to me as what i guess amounts to some kind of digital self harm. anyway breaking point came in late august when i got kicked out of university and then nobody could ignore it any more so there was no choice left but for me to seek out help and recover enough to function which luckily i did. i really Do Not remember 2017. you could tell me anything about that year and i’d probably believe you.

#10: 2011 - extra circle of hell for this little fucked up gem of a year. on the surface it wasn’t actually that terrible, until the Summer 2011 Domino Effect Of Bad Shit. up until like may/june it was a pretty all right year! i was 13 and had a surprisingly successful youtube channel uploading pokemon soundfont remixes to an audience of i think ~350-400 subscribers at my peak? anyway then i got hit with the early summer triple combo of childhood friends moving away, cute and quirky sexual assault at the hands of a person in my friend group, and then having some Really Great and Super Appropriate interactions with adults on deviantart. like obviously there’s the actual ptsd-inducing event which totally disrupted and killed the person i was right up until that moment and reshaped every facet of my life for better or worse (there’s an alternate timeline where that didn’t happen and i got into electronic music and/or coding instead) but really it’s the events that followed in its wake which were kind of more fucked up. so like all of a sudden i was super aware of my body and me growing my hair out and being mistaken for a girl in class suddenly became this Less Innocent thing and i ended up spending hours overnight going to transgender questioning forums and looking up hrt timeline videos and having the wikipedia article on tracheal shaving saved because it was a life raft to me whose voice was imminently gonna deepen and i was simultaneously reeling with constant trauma flashbacks and the whole thing was so so fucked up. then i was on deviantart and i don’t remember exactly how but a small group of furry guys ten to fifteen years older than me started messaging me and encouraging and requesting me to produce nonsexual fetish stuff for them and talking to me about stuff like if i’d ever thought about growing up to be gay and i didn’t think anything of it for a long while because they called me a very talented writer and it felt so good to have someone be nice to me after being so alone and isolated for months on end. anyway the only reason i got out of that before it got bad was because they invited me to one of the big furry sites and i was weirded out because i thought it was a porn site and thinking about sexual stuff was a huge trauma trigger so i just ended up blocking them all and pretending like it didn’t happen. at the time half this shit didn’t bother me but in retrospect holy fuck 2011 was such a damaging year. to think if like three events didn’t happen i wouldn’t be the fucked up mess you see before you today.

god fuck this turned out super long but i’m not apologising because this was a therapeutic exercise for me and also constitutes as one of the biggest pochapal lore dumps of all time. come get your food or whatever.

[wexhappyxfew]

hey, i know this is a huge ask, but i think it would be great if at some point (maybe after landslide is complete) if you could do one of those writing tip books like the ones on wattpad? i absolutely adore your writing style, and how well structured all of your stories are. i am really struggling with the character development side of writing at the moment (and i’m sure lots of people will struggle with plotting) but you are sooo good at it! i just think it would help a lot of people, including me, if you could give us a few tips! all i want to become better at writing, and i think it would really help! again, it is a huge ask, but out of all the band of brothers books on wattpad and tumblr, yours are just about my favourite, and i would love it if you did consider my suggestion! 💖

HELLO ANON!!! First of all thank you for making my morning :D The past few weeks haven’t been the greatest, but we all have those weeks - but I treated myself to some coffee from Dunkin this morning and I’m listening to some music, vibin, and just slowly getting my morning started since I have some schoolwork to complete! So, this is what really made my morning, just everything you said truly - I can’t begin to even thank you! Writing is such a huge passion of mine and for years it has been the thing I can come to when my mind is scrambled and I feel I have nothing to really focus on - writing brings me right back! 

THANK YOU OMG!! That means the world that you enjoy my writing style! I have to say, it has developed incredibly (just from my own personal point of view because man a few years back it was a SIGHT TO BEHOLD LMAO!!) and truly, with who I am, I’m proud of where I am with my writing and where I’ve come from! Part of growing as a writer is simply just writing, in massive chunks and learning what you like, what you don’t, and what YOU want to write and read. In 2020 I wrote over 800,000 words and I went through 3 different fics last year and I can 100% see the changes in myself as a writer (and it was worth it!). AWE THANKS :,) I really try to structure my stories through a reader POV, with saying “okay, how will a reader view this, does it flow and make sense for the reader?” Because I know that I know everything as the writer in the opening chapters, but the reader doesn’t and I have to make sure when I start incorporating ideas that are larger that I don’t complicate it to the point of complete confusion (if that makes sense!)

I actually have considered many times before doing a ‘writing tip’ book! Currently, though I have Landslide on a roll and FFTB (a future BOB WIP) up and coming, I have branched into Original works and other fandoms as well and I’ve taken a lot of what I’ve learned from the Band of Brothers OC community into my hands and it has helped me more than ANYTHING! So I will 100% consider it most definitely!

I’ve had new writers come to me on Wattpad recently just trying to work out their OCs or where they want their fic to go, and how to make it original and I’ve been so honored and privileged to be able to help them in anyway I could AND THAT’S what got me thinking about making a ‘writing tips’ book actually! :D So I will 100% be considering it, especially when Landslide is over, I can promise you that.

Creating in this fandom has allowed for so much growth within me personally, and I feel many other incredible authors in the fandom can completely agree. I’ve been in the fandom since late 2018 (maybe December) and I started uploading Sunshine Solider in early 2019 and being now in my 2nd(?) year or 3rd (?) if I’m correct, sorry it’s early here LOL - ok definitely 3rd - constant writing is what I can recommend - and sometimes it SUCKS. But writing (1) should be fun, if anything. It should be simply fun and I think that’s the greatest gift out of writing in fandom is simply the joy of creating a story that you love and put your heart into and just being able to hit that post button and feel accomplished for something as wonderful as that. It’s the little things that bring so much joy and hitting that upload button is one of them!! 

AWE GOSH THANK YOU!!!! <3 <3 That means the world to me omg!! My lil OCs are like my children (HAHA!) and I know many others can agree with that! Sometimes you don’t even know all the ins and outs of them! But they’re like your kids as you develop and grow with them through the story! So thank you for that, it means a lot! :D

OKAY - I totally get the character development struggle 100%! And it would definitely be one of the things I’d put some time into, in the Writing Tips book because I feel it’s very important! You want your OC to essentially be human - their pros, their cons, their flaws, what makes them happy, sad, neutral....all that sort of stuff! And I totally agree, there’s so much that just goes into simply crafting a character, an OC, a human being for a story. 

Something I’ve learned, and I know not many people are probably like this, but it’s what gets me going is actually just writing a blurb (whether it is in the story or not) and try and capture their voice. My 3 *MAIN* OCs, Charlotte, Hazel and Natia all have their own voices, and in their ways are entirely different and flipping from voice to voice was quite the challenge but one I felt was fantastic for me as a writer and a good learning experience. Not everyone has a similar voice! What’s their little quirk they sort of have as an OC? Maybe their ‘brand’ if you call it that....or do they repeat something regularly and how does it connect to them as an OC? (This is all just little things that could become a huge thing in the long run!) But most definitely, just start WRITING, simply just writing and find that voice and once you hit it, it’s really off to the races.

I know after finding Natia’s voice (which was incredibly hard at first, I feel she’s a complex character in my opinion and so that makes it a little more difficult to hit it just right) it was pretty easy to just go off and write - she’s someone very much in her mind, she speaks somewhat lyrical as well, not like a song, but it flows - she has confidence. And so that comes across in writing. I feel it’s just little things like that, which become very noticeable to the reader just by dialogue even, sometimes!

I hope in some way these little points helped, and I’m currently inhaling a large coffee ( I have schoolwork to attend to soon - ie ap stats lol! ) but truly I hope this helped and I am 100% considering a writing tips book. I know there are many new writers in the fandom and I know in some way even if it is not for all, it could help even just one person! And I’m happy to provide my bits of knowledge that I’ve gathered personally (and even from some of my writer friends out there as well who I will consult if they have things to add as well!). Writing is definitely hard, and it’s something that you get better at with simply practicing, but also reading others works, talking to writers and just getting tips and knowing who YOU are. If you know who you are, I feel you know how you want your story to come out if anything! 

Feel free to stop on by my DM’s! I’ve been late on messages from some people (only because of my schoolwork recently, it’s been quite intense!) but I’m working through them and I’ll be able to talk privately about things and maybe help you flesh out some ideas if you have any yourself - this goes for anyone reading too!!! But truly, I’d be happy to chat, so really thank you so much for this message it means a lot to me and I’m glad my writing can be seen that way - 2 years here has paid off (LOL!!) 

THANK YOU!!!