#i wonder if i'm sad because i miss being able to cherish all the little sweetnesses. i guess i feel like now i have to cherish the complex

[stinkbeck]

i know nostalgia is a bitch but there was a time when my mom would dress me in this little red peacoat and i’d be all warm when the fog came in and it was my favorite thing to just hustle around in the freezing crowd, sample different shop atmospheres, all the low lights and the people clamoring for coffee or bagels. my mom would be stressed out of her mind but we’d still find a way to sit down and smile at each other. and my mom’s hands were always gloved, and i’d hold the cold leather. i was just so small and anonymous.

[ixiot-ghostrebel]

Hey I hope you have a great day.

So I just saw the post with the wrath of the creator on Azar and I had an idea.

I am very emotional and I bailed my eyes out when I did the chasm quest with xiao and he nearly died AND I got a sad cutscene of the adepti after so my traveler was just stuck in the dialog with Xiao while I was crying a whole waterfall and sniffing really loudly and the only other quest where I had that was when we were in the chasm with dain and he tells us that the hillichurls are cursed people from Khanri'ah. I stood in front of the corpses and cried heart out.

So I wanted to ask the characters reactions to that. Especially Xiao, the archons we know (because khanri'ah and its destruction is a big thing here) and dainsleif.

I'm sorry this got so long. If you want to change something or want to add someone or take a character out it's okay, this is just my 5 am thought I just had.

Alr, Anon! Coming right up! Imma just focus on the Perilous Quest lol-

Creator Having A Meltdown During Perilous Quest

(Warning: Might Be OOC & Spoilers to the Perilous Archon Quest!)

Yelan

She wasn't going to lie, she wasn't expecting you to cry your heart out so freely. Raw emotion was hard to come by when people grow. They tend to be more...seclusive, with their emotions.

You, on the other hand, were free-balling it. You did NOT care if people were gonna look at you weird, you are gonna cry because you are sad! And honestly, Yelan's glad that the Almighty Creator is expressive and sentient. It proves just how much you care for the characters.

"It seems the Almighty Creator is far more connected than anyone thought..." She wonders what she can do with this information, but at the same time, keep it under wraps. Letting this information slip into the wrong hands was always dangerous.

She wouldn't gamble your safety. Never. Safe to say Yelan's got you covered.

Itto

Woah, woah! He did not expect you, the Almighty Creator, to be crying their eyes out the moment he wakes up from passing out and all that—what he miss? What happened while he was sleeping?

Wait, they're not in the Chasm anymore? Oh Archons, someone just tell him what happened! Why the heck is the Creator balling his eyes out?

"Huh—? What's going on? We're out of the chasm?" Poor guy is so oblivious, and no one's bothering to fill him in—at least, at the moment.

He'll pester Shinobu about this later. Just, someone, stop the Creator from crying! Those are sad tunes, not something you want to hear when you should be celebrating about leaving that gloomy place!

Yanfei

She was NOT expecting you to be this emotional! Yanfei feels a little guilty not being able to do anything about it, to be honest...

She has to resist the urge to shake Xiao out of his stupor, because a) that was unprofessional, b) she's more relieved than anything, and c) Yanfei wasn't sure if you, the Creator, would think she was okay if she started acting out like that.

So, instead, she tries to ground herself, and do her best to make sure that the situation is fine, and that everything will be okay. That's the least she can do to reassure you, and everyone else, right?

"Hopefully, Their Grace will stop those tears...Hearing them sad makes me feel sad..." As a lawyer, Yanfei knows how to sympathize with her clients. This, however, felt like she could really understand what you were going through—there was a bond between you and everyone.

She doesn't want to make you sad. That's one thing for sure. Yanfei wouldn't be able to sleep out of guilt otherwise.

Shinobu

She wasn't expecting you to be crying your heart out, but she loves how sentient you are. It shows just how you truly care about Xiao, and about everyone.

She really appreciates you. She can see how you connect with every character—how you cheer with everyone, cherish the moment with everyone, rejoice, and mourn. This was visible proof of it all.

"Hm...How should we comfort Their Grace..." Shinobu wants to do something—for the sake of the gang's gratitude for their Almighty Creator. And everyone here as well.

You contributed much of yourself for them. For that, she's grateful.

She'll have to explain to Boss later...but that's besides the point right now.

Xiao

He feels guilty for making you cry. He heard you call out his name several many times. He hears how you ball your eyes out, thinking you were gonna lose him, only for Rex Lapis to save him just in time.

He doesn't know if the Lord of Geo heard your divine prayers, or if he went on his own accord, but he feels guilty. He placed a heavy burden on you. He didn't mean to.

"How should I make it up to Their Grace..." He listens to how you scream and cry (out of joy now) that he was alive. You, the Almighty Creator, already connected yourself to someone like him. Your bond was too severe, and he tried to cut it off.

But the way the Traveler is smiling at them with a reassuring smile, Xiao wonders if he will be forgiven. Perhaps far quicker than he imagined.

Ghost Rebel Side Notes: This honestly feels too OOC—I don't really know Yelan's personality all that well, and honestly I don't think I caught the full potential of Yanfei, Itto, and Shinobu. I do hope you enjoyed this, but I'm also sorry if this came out disappointing.

✦ Check out The Ghost Rebel’s Blog Description & Info Page to See if Their Mailbox is Open! ✦

[fun-k-board]

CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!

AVATAR 2009 with a Human ! S/O who adores Christmas

Characters included: Jake Sully, Neytiri, Tsu'Tey

Pronouns: They / Them

Relationship: Romantic

When text is in bold that means it's spoken in Na'vi, I have no clue if Na'vi have gender neutral language so sorry if this isn't accurate.

Jake Sully

Jake never understood about Christmas, he wasn't one of the lucky few on Earth who had a rich family nor did his family particularly show an overabundance of affection.

He and his brother weren't to close, it hurt when he died of course, but at the end of the day he wouldn't see him for years when he went to Pandora anyway.

So, your sadness over not being able to celebrate it was confusing, but Jake cared for you and tried to comfort you despite this.

"You don't look so good." Jake mumbled and sat down next to you, his eyes stared into you intently as he waited for a response.

"I just miss my family, we use to celebrate Christmas and..." You trailed off, your ears down and tail curling on your thigh. A whimper escaped you as tears began welling in your eyes.

"Oh." He paused, sucking in a large breath "I'm sorry. Maybe we could make last minute presents for each other?" Jake quietly suggested, pulling a shy smile that showed off his sharp teeth.

"That'd be nice..." You quietly whispered, smiling back softly at him while you tried wiping away your tears as calming your breaths.

And so you made whatever you thought would be best for Jake, I could imagine him getting you a weapon or maybe some type of neckwear that would give you a sense of pride.

He doesn't really try to expand it to Neytiri given the cultural differences, but I see Norm getting into the holiday spirit, maybe Grace if her present is a cigarette.

Neytiri

Neytiri taught you and Jake the ways of the Na'vi, to which you both listened, adapted and overcame the differences in your cultures.

However, you still missed your old life. As horrible, polluted and poor Earth became, you still missed family. Apart of family was Christmas, giving to others even outside of who you considered family just to see their smiles, it was something you hadn't experienced in years. You missed that. And you'd never get it back.

"There is something on your mind." Neytiri plainly stated, her words catching you off guard, looking you up and down as she handed food to Jake on her right.

"It's a time of year at home." He replied, looking to me in pity. "Where you can participate in a tradition on Earth, I'll let them explain the details if they want." Jake awkwardly looked away, munching on an unnaturally large amount of teylu. Neytiri turned to me expectantly.

"It's one about family and giving, cherishing those you love, those and even the things around you." You nodded as you spoke even if there was no reason to, awkwardly smiling while Neytiri smiled sweetly.

"It sounds like a wonderful tradition. What is it called?" Her stare bore into your eyes, her own were soft.

"Christmas." You sighed, continuing only because the silence would be unbearable. "We hurt our great mother and caused a lot of pain, it became harder and harder to celebrate as time continued. Now almost nobody truly celebrates it as it was intented, instead a shallow reminder of what it originally was." Neytiri held your hand and nodded.

"I am understanding of your pain, I hope all sky people learn to see as you and Jake have."

She doesn't go out of her way to celebrate it, but notes the general time it happens around and maybe gives you little trinkets that would be meaningless to most.

I can definetly imagine Neytiri showing you in depth Na'vi culture, as she already does, but with more pride as she realises how important you can take cultural and traditional events. But, most of all I imagine you'd be spending time with each other, even if she personally doesn't believe in Christmas, she believes in you. Neytiri sees you.

Tsu'Tey

He mainly made fun of you and Jake for being 'demons', so getting to know you was a lengthy process and required patience on both ends.

Given you were already learning of Na'vi culture from Neytiri, he didn't find the need to teach you anything other than fighting and flying, so when you asked him about something the explanation was very short and simple.

Tsu'tey couldn't say he was too interested in sky people or their traditions, but he noticed you weren't doing too well for the past few weeks. Your sour mood showed in your training and pushed you back, so it was garunteed he would speak on it eventually.

"Why are you sitting here? The ikrans are-" He was momentarily stopped in his words by your tear stained face. Not only was your face uncanny for him with your features unlike natural Na'vi, but beyond that, you were hurt.

"What... What is bothering you?" You noticed his switch to English as hesitantly placed a hand on your shoulder, lowering into a kneel as he stared deep into your eyes.

"Us human- uh, sky people, have a tradition." You began, Tsu'tey was interested in your words and the curious look he had told you to continue "This time we begin giving gifts, we spend more time with family, friends and... Significant others." You coughed shyly, unsure of the word in Na'vi before remembering "Mates." You clarified.

"It sounds like a prosperous time for your people." He nodded respectfully, holding your hand and looking comfortingly into your eyes. "I see your pain, and I am sorry brother/sister."

He, like Neytiri, doesn't go out of his way to celebrate. Mainly taking part in spending time and showing how much he loves you. Sometimes it can be awkward and stiff, but Tsu'tsy is quite literally an alien who viewed all humans as demons. Unless you explain to him how you view Christmas, he's unsure of how important it is to you and doesn't want to come off as offensive.

In turn, I can imagine him pointing out things similar to his own culture, feeling like a part of him was always with you even before you met.

[living-d3ad-gh0ul]

Tuesday 18th April 2023, 8:01am

I am so sorry that it's taken me a little bit longer than I'd have liked to write this post. I've been really busy and a lot of things have changed again. I'm starting a new job (because I hate my manager of my current job, I've never felt so devalued and demoralised as an employee) on 15th May so I've been trying to finish up at my current job so I can move on when it's time to. I've taken a couple weeks off between jobs, so I have a little time to chill out and relax.

I read your last post. I've read it nearly every day and tried to figure out what to say. That's another reason it's late, because I feel bad that I was mad at you for not saying anything in a few months. Because you've been dealing with so much. I know I didn't know that until you said something but.. I still can't help but feel a little bad :( you were dealing with all of that and I am so so fucking sorry you have been. And I totally get why you maybe didn't post, I just... I missed you a lot and I didn't like not hearing anything from you for so long. But I'm glad that I have, I really am and I thank you so so much for writing to me again. I really did miss your little posts.

I am so so sorry that you've been in pain with your arm and your health hasn't been great. It made me really sad to hear that it's now affected your mental health, but I am honestly not that all surprised considering that physical and mental health go hand in hand. It just really sucks that you are having to go through all of that and honestly? I wish I could help. I wish there was some way of me being able to at least take away some of those bad feelings or discomfort. Even if only a little bit or for a second. I am also sorry that you did not have a good Christmas or New Year's and that you have had falling outs with friends and family. I really hope they are resolved or on the way to being resolved soon. And if they aren't? Then that is their loss because you are amazing and wonderful and should be cherished and looked after, especially right now when you're going through it with your health.

I am so sorry that you have been really struggling mentally. Please don't say you have failed because you haven't, you are not a failure. Nor are you a burden in any way, shape or form. You are going through a tough time, so it's only natural the way you are feeling, especially when those around you aren't been of much help or telling you conflicting information too. Your description of what it's like and how it happens (The Vampire Diaries thing, don't worry, it wasn't cringe at all, I love TVD too, always have done so I completely understood what you meant when you said 'turn it off' like Stefan). But... I just have to say, I really hope you don't 'turn it off'. I know that it's difficult and that it can be really hard to process emotions but.. that's what we have to do, as humans. We have to feel our emotions and let them out and process them in order to get over them, because if we hold on to them it's just going to make things worse and then they bottle up and it can make things much bigger. Like you said a lot of it really is distorted thinking and it really is easier said than done, I know my darling, I really do. I just... I want to help and I wish I could. I wish I could say the right thing and not say the wrong thing and that's also kind of why it's taken me so long to write back again too. I am so terrified of saying the wrong thing and upsetting you further or what I'm saying to be taken in the wrong way because that is the last thing I want. I just want you to be happy, healthy, looked after, cared for. And I kinda really wish I could be doing that for you and helping you feel that way.

Please don't see moving back home with your parents as a bad thing. It's absolutely not. Like you said yourself, it's definitely a reset. It is NOT meaning you have gone backwards or anything like that at all. You are going through a lot and you need that extra little bit of support/help right now and moving back with them is definitely a good idea to help in moving forward. Again, it's not a step back, it's a reset, it means you can re-evaluate things and figure out the best way forward that works for you. I really think that it'll be a good thing for you rather than a bad thing. I understand what you're saying about not feeling like you've lived for yourself, this is an opportunity for you to really *do* that and start to figure out what *you* want from life. Do things for yourself rather than to please others. It's not selfish at all, I promise you that, it really really isn't. It's your life, so you should be able to live it how you like and do what makes you happy.

Idk, I feel like I'm either not making much sense right now or being much help. I just... I feel terrible that you are in this situation and you're not being made to feel like the people around you care very much and are giving you conflicting information or opinions. I know that you can't help that this thing has happened with your health, that's no ones fault, not even your own, these things just sometimes do happen. But I'm sorry that it's in turn really affected your mental health and made you struggle with sleep. I know it may not be much of a help, even if I could, but.. I kinda wish I could just be there to help you sleep in some way. Whether it be to cuddle you or make you more comfortable or just talk to you when you can't sleep. Because I probably would, I'd probably stay up all night with you just to keep you company or help try and find ways to help you sleep easier/better.

I'm really glad that you think of these as letters too, I love reading them when I need to, when I feel like pretending I'm hearing you actually say all of these things to me. I think I will always be here for you, no matter how long it's been or how far apart we are, I'll always be here. It doesn't matter what happens or where we go in the world or even in life. I will always care about you and always want to see the best for you and.. yeah, you'll always have a piece of my heart and my mind, I'm pretty certain of that now. I sometimes still can't believe myself that after all these years (it's easily been 5 years since we first met each other now btw haha how mad is that?) you still think of me and care about me. Just like I think about you (a lot, embarrassingly) and care about you.

I really hope you enjoyed staying at your brother's place and looking after the kitties. They sound like very good bois and I hope you got to spend lots of time being with them while you were house/cat sitting. I didnt actually get any Easter chocolate, I was actually told I'm too old now for that by my mother haha. So I went out the next day and bought myself a load of discounted Easter chocolate haha. If no one else is going to do it, then I'm going to do it for myself lol

Oh my god, London was fantastic. I had the most amazing time ever. And the actor I went to meet was so sweet and lovely, I genuinely couldn't have been happier. He even remembered me when I went for my second photo (I had a normal one and a green screen one lol) and gave me a hug! I was really really happy and everyone keeps saying that they are such a cute photos. One of my friends even joked that the picture where he hugged me looks like a "mum and dad on holiday" kind of picture hahaha it made me laugh really fucking hard to think of it that way, especially when it's a famous actor that I'm in the photo with. But I had a great time and it was amazing to see my best friend and me and her had the best day ever. It was also nice to spend a little time with my uncle on the Sunday. We made lunch together and he was showing me some bands he'd been to see in London (he's really into music and likes to find new/obscure bands and go see them, he loves up and coming music and stuff, I think when I go back in August me and him may check out a gig or two together). I hope you get to visit London someday too, I reckon you would have the best time and I really think you would like Camden and Brick Lane the most. I could imagine us both going there and making a full day of it and having the best time ever haha. Of course, you'd have to do the normal touristy things too, like see Buckingham Palace and Big Ben lol

Oh! I also may be getting a bass again really soon too! One of my family friends is refurbishing one and may be giving it to me after they're done with it. I really really hope so, because I miss playing bass a lot and I want to get back into it. I haven't had much of a chance to do any singing for a while because of working, but I'm hoping with my new job I'll maybe have a little more freedom and will be able to get more done. And I'm saving up for a new electric piano/keyboard too, so I can write more/do more things. I've been writing still, even just small ideas that come into my head, I pop them into my notes on my phone.

You really think my handwriting is nice? I think it's messy and too weird haha. I had actually written that actor a letter (just saying thank you etc and telling them about how one of their characters they played really helped me when I was going through a tough time because I related to them so much) and they said my handwriting was nice too haha. I don't know if they actually read the letter, hopefully they did. But it's also okay if they didn't lol I know they probably get thousands of them so it'd be difficult to go through them all. I'm glad it's finally starting to cool down for you, it's starting to get a tiny bit warmer here, thank god. It was 16c here yesterday and I loved it. I went out and sat on my deck out back and had a cup of tea and sat for a little bit, it was really nice. I wish you could have been there, you'd have liked it I think.

I really hope that you're doing okay and that this letter maybe helps you smile a little. Please don't be scared to reach out to me whenever you like, no matter how long it's been. I'm always going to be here, E. I mean that. I really really do.

I hope you have managed to have at least a couple nights of somewhat restful sleep. And if not? Imagine I'm there and see if that helps, I'm sorry I know it's not much but.. when I'm sick or can't sleep, sometimes I imagine you're there and it helps a little. I hope that's not weird to say.

I really hope to hear from you soon and I hope that this letter makes sense to you, E.

Lots of love,

N x

P.S my hair is red again! I'm going to post a picture for you to see after this

"And somewhere, maybe someday, maybe somewhere far away, I’ll find a second little person who will look at me and say, 'I know you, you're the one I've waited for, let’s have some fun"

[gyugyday]

happy birthday.

hi mingyu, it's been a while (only a few days but my bad for not responding). you probably thought that i've forgotten about your birthday or that you won't be around (i hope you didn't but well you never know...), but i'd never miss an important occasion such as this one.

a year went by so quickly. i think i still remember the first conversation we ever had — i slid into your dms just to be a menace and you went along with it so naturally. i think that sums up our dynamic quite well, don't you think? there is no one else i'd enjoy tormenting this much, so i hope that makes you feel special. and just for today, i'll allow you to let all these compliments get to your head. i think you deserve it.

mingyu, i hope you know i truly value our friendship more than you could ever know. being around you feels like a breath of fresh air and i never grow tired of all the remarks you seem to throw my way (even if i now flinch at the mention of toilets ㅋㅋㅋ) or at how you always seem to have a comeback for every single thing i say. in fact, dare i say, i'm a bit impressed at how your brain operates? and i mean this in the kindest way, i truly think you're one of the funniest and most down to earth people i've ever met. i love getting insight into your brain and i adore all the conversations we've had. whether it's about our past, our opinions on certain topics, or just our typical banter. all of it is meaningful to me and all of it is something i hold dear to my heart.

you're one in a million, a kind-hearted individual, an incredible friend. i admire you and look up to you, even if i struggle at showing it. you're levelheaded and you don't take life as seriously as me, which is something i envy. sometimes i'll find myself mid-breakdown and i'll catch myself going hmmm... what would mingyu do? probably eat ramen and sleep... ㅋㅋㅋ there are also times where i want to come to you for advice or to pester you with a million little questions, but i've held off from doing so. why? because i think a part of me wants you to think i'm cool and aloof (though i'm sure i ruined that image long ago... ㅋ) but after reading your letter to me, i've decided that this simply isn't the way to go anymore.

i recall you mentioning in your letter to me that we haven't been able to have as many serious conversations despite knowing each other for a year and it really made yearn to get closer to you. unfortunately, i struggle with learning how to be serious with people, so i think that could be why you feel like we don't have many deep conversations. i hope you know that my inability to open up has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me, i just move at a turtle's pace. but i promise you that i trust you with my life and i think you're pretty great at giving advice, so lets hope this changes soon.

mingyu, it makes me sad to know that we both struggle with aligning our schedules to make things work. it feels as if whenever i'm free, you're busy, and vice versa. but the moments we do spend together, i'm delighted and happy to be within your presence. you've got such a quick wit and i like to think our senses of humor mesh together pretty well. there's never been a moment where i haven't been laughing or smiling along at your antics and sometimes i even leave a conversation with you baffled by how someone can be so effortlessly funny. i think you've got a wonderful personality, one that i wish i was around more to cherish.

though our hangouts have dwindled down (not that they were incredibly high to begin with), i hope you know that i still look back on certain things you've said and find myself smiling from time to time. i also miss you more than i'd like to admit, but i understand that we've both got actual obligations and schedules (and of course we have to slot in your 15 hour sleep routine), so it makes things a bit difficult. but i have a lot of love and care for you and these moments apart won't ever change that.

i think you've got an amazing ability to make people happy. there are times where i'm feeling sad, but a quick conversation with you is able to easily free me from any melancholy that torments me. you make it so easy to be happy and smile around you, it's such a wonderful gift to have. i know i act up and pretend like i hate all the jokes you make, but part of me truly enjoys our banter and i love that we're able to have conversations about absolutely nothing for hours on end.

that being said, i'm hoping this will be the year that we can turn those conversations into something more meaningful so that we can get closer. because you aren't getting rid of me now, so you might as well strap in and make the best out of it.

i also want to mention that you inspire me to become a better version of myself, just by being yourself. and i think you do the same for a lot of people around you, even if they don't say it. like i said before, you have such a mature graceful way about handling things. as someone who is a bit too emotional, it makes want to become more like you in a way. i think i could learn a lot from you, so lets plan a hangout session soon and crack open a bottle of wine and unlock all our traumas, yeah? what do you say? ㅎㅎ

you're someone that has been through a lot and i know in the past when you've shared those things, we've made little jokes about it. i regret not saying this in the moment out of fear i'd be ruining the vibe, but i hope you know that i think you're really strong for overcoming all those things you've told me about. and you're even stronger for choosing to forgive and move on with your life. i really mean it when i say you inspire me because you're able to do things that not many others could ever hope to achieve. and i don't say that lightly.

this letter feels like it isn't encompassing all the things i wish to say to you and frankly, i wish i was able to put together a better birthday gift. but it's crazy how life sweeps us away, huh? you deserve something a million times better than this, but i hope you can feel all my sincerity in the words i've been writing. i truly appreciate you.

i know we may stray and return to one another throughout the year as our lives keep us busy, but i hope you know that i will always be here for you. all you need to do is let me know and i'll drop anything for you. whether that's a need for distraction, a venting session, whatever it might be. i'll do my absolute best to be that person that's always there, fighting for your happiness.

i hope this letter makes up for all the times i've disappeared and didn't respond to your messages. i also hope this letter serves as a reminder that we need to finish blue lock and game together soon. i haven't forgotten, i promise. because no matter how busy i get, you will always be a priority for me and i'll find a way to make time for you somehow.

mingyu, cherish this because you may not hear this from me again until your birthday next year (ㅋㅋㅋ) but i love you and care about you a lot. i hope today is filled with nothing but happiness and good vibes. lets do something together to celebrate, if you have the time. we can watch a movie, game (haha... can i convince you to download overwatch?), or even finish our anime.

happy birthday once again.

eat seaweed soup and don't forget to call your parents.

reserve some time for me today, pretty please.

i promise to get better at answering my dms soon.

love, sakura.

p.s: i know you said this month is busy for you, but i better see you around today.

[skyborn-reads]

📜 Unreturned Feelings — an intuitive reading

This PAC is for those who are/were involved in unrequited love, and for those seeking closure. May these channeled messages from Spirit help heal your pain and sew up the crevice of your broken heart. Love will find you once more. When it comes, you'll be ready to receive it 💕 Pick a feathery friend to deliver you your message 🕊️

Picture sources 1 ✦ 2 ✦ 3

Bird 1 — Let It Go, Let It Flow

"Take as much time you need to heal from the pain. The world will go on just like it always has. You won't miss much of it, but your inner self needs you to heal its wounds, your future self will step out of this cocoon a stronger version of you, so much more in love with the Self that is you. I need you to know that this is but a painful chapter in your life. There are lows such as this, but there are also highs, oh my darling, lots of them beautiful episodes in your future you wouldn't want to miss! I won't spoil the surprises for you. Those are for you to find out, and for you to keep."

"Let's not bathe in sadness, shall we? Let's bathe in love, let's bathe in a hopeful future, the one that's been lingering in your dreams. Let's bathe in the knowing that tomorrow will be a much better place. You've always rose through your hurts, what makes you think this little episode is going to stop you? You have it in you to make it through this. You're not their cup of tea, what makes you think they are really yours? What makes you think you're ever meant to be with someone who cannot give you a hundred percent of their love just like what you're willing to give them? Life's too short, really too short to waste on them. Too short my dear that it's so not worth it! 💖 You deserve much more, dear. You deserve the happiness you willingly grant yourself by taking a step back and heal the pains this "love" has caused you. I love you, and I'll see you when you're ready to take a step away from this unrequited relationship, and then another step, then another..."

Bird 2 — The Sun Shall Rise Once More

"What you did for them they never deserved it in the first place. I'm sorry this has happened to you, but think of what they did for you versus the length you willingly went for them? Seems contradicting huh? You're right to have opened your eyes before it's too late, before you lose more of yourself on this person. It's good that you saved yourself by walking away from them. Next time, don't plunge your head in, thinking that you'd get the better end of the deal. Just no, you have to set better standards, not to say you should ignore future opportunities, but you gotta know what you want in a relationship and not to be a pushover! You bring to the table so much of your love, so much you're willing to do, to sacrifice for them, to love them with all your heart but if they can't give you the same in return that you deserve, then say goodbye. You ain't got no time for that draining shit."

"A better tomorrow is ahead! Sunrise is approaching, are you seeing it? It's there, you just have to believe that although this time the love you thought was real stung you in the neck, there are more to appreciate in the near and far future. Trust me when I say that if you love yourself, if you're willing to give to yourself the love that grows you, heals you, makes you see the light at the end of the tunnel again, then you're invincible. They can't get to you my love. Because you're growing way further than their shit. You're never unlovable. You're always loved, cherished and held dear by those who loved you and those who will come to love you. You have to realise this and not feed into the unlovable bullshit that your mind tricked you into. The sunrise is so darn bright my dear 💛 you'll be able to see it too!"

Bird 3 — Stars Guide My Way

"Who has hurt you my child? You're not unlovable like you tell yourself. The journey you have with them has come to an end. The frost thickens in tide with the Winter, there's nothing you can do to erase the fact that this season has dawned on your relationship with them. But what you can do though is choose to let go of the fruitless dreams and the hopes that never did happen. Brush them away like frost that snowed over your front lawn. Thank them too for they have taught you valuable lessons as bitter as it could get. They taught you to let go and to prepare for the cold. When you're ever alone and the loneliness bites into your bones like numbing ice, trust that you still have the warmth of your self love and those who are always there to lend you their shoulder. Is this the end? Oh of course not. When the chilliest winter passes will come the soft wisps of light. Spring will dawn upon you and neither my frost nor its dark clouds will ever hinder you no more. You're free to walk away, my child, you just have to know that you're walking away from the one who can never give you happiness, to the one who eventually will. Trust in faith that it is so."

"So you've arrived at last. I almost thought you'd never wake up from being lost. That is a good thing. You should never allow anyone the driver seat of your life. They've been on your mind a lot over the last few days it seems. Have you allowed yourself space other than the thoughts of them? Perhaps now is better than never. I was worried about you. Now let me make you some warm tea so we can sit together watching the stars. Ah so many, billions and billions of them. Have you wondered where the stars may have come from? Perhaps your future love is amongst them, still wandering the paths wondering if they'd ever come across someone lovely as you. Love isn't guaranteed amongst mortals though, requiting love even more so. It seems that you do have a chance in your life to meet the one who's meant for you. It would be a chance meeting. Neither of you would even suspect that the relationship would blossom into something more. *chuckles* Does that keep you at the edge of your seat. Well, when you're at a crossroad in the future, if you make the decision that requires you to take a leap of faith outside your comfort zone, you might just meet them. A fresh face, a stranger kind enough to offer you small help, perhaps a nameless face you meet on a street somewhere, perhaps you dropped something and they went to return it to you. Lots of possibilities my dear. Now tell me are you ready to take this leap of faith?"

I hope this reading resonates 💙 Feel free to follow and reblog for more readings! See you in the next PAC 🌌

~ Skyborn 💙

[captainchocolatesstuff]

I'm sorry, but i really love your writing, and i was wondering if i could maybe request Kirishima, Eraserhead, Present Mic, Shigaraki and Hawks with a reader / so who is grieving because their pet died? Pretty personal i guess, it's fine if you don't want to. Just wanted to ask.

I honestly felt this personally, I lost my pittie recently and it was one of the reasons why i didn't update for a while, i hope this brings you comfort as it did me. I got rather teary eyed while writing this too but it helped.

Loss of a Pet/Companion

I wanna bet that you introduced your pet sometime around entering a relationship with Eijiro, he got to know the little fella and probably even got the “approval” of your companion

As much as we love our dear fourleged (or otherwise) friends, it’s unfortunate that they can’t stay with us forever, so when Eijiro finds you sad because of the loss of your friend he will be there for you if you want him there

He’s willing to give you the space you need if you need it, but if he knows you really need him he will be there to hold you and lend his shoulder for you to cry on, he is hurt too because he knows he’ll miss them,  but not as hurt as you because you knew them longer than he did, still the lingering pain can sting  

As much as he would like to get you a new companion he wants to be sure that you are in the right headspace, he’ll talk about it with you too, if you are ready to have another companion he will be with you every step of the way and will reassure you that you are NOT replacing your friend with another, you are in the process of healing and that is fine, he wants you to take your time he won’t rush you or talk about getting a pet anytime soon when you are hurting

As i said, he is there for you every step of the way, he’ll comfort you and be there for you in your time of need but he’ll respect any boundaries you have when it comes down to it, he knows that this kind of pain will stick with you for a while, you’ll go down memory lane as wave of emotions come and go, and you’ll have lingering phantom occurrences of your long gone friend but he’ll let you know that you don’t have to go through this alone

Shouta can understand, he has pet of his own and as much as he loves them he knows there will be a time when they eventually leave him behind, he doesn’t like to think about it too often but will be reminded of these thoughts, especially when it was you who relieved to him as to why you were in the state that he found you in 

He stayed with you for as long as you needed him, as stoic as he can look it doesn’t mean that he’s emotionally unavailable, he is there for you and he is gentle when handling you whether he is using words or tenderly holding you as you cry on him

He is willing to take you out on a night stroll and miss a day at work if it means that your headspace will be stable, he understands the pain of loss especially if you lost someone special to you, your companion is someone who is special to you just as his are to him, he knows that the pain is lasting and will leave lingering aches once it all passes eventually but even then he’ll stay for as long as he can

He doesn’t see the point in bringing up the subject of getting a new pet, to him you’ll eventually come across that road once everything is cleared up and it will ultimately be your decision and on your terms, he can make those decisions for you but he will be there to support you and give you brief suggestions if you are still thinking about it

If you happen to come across his cat he wouldn’t mind them being around you if they are bringing you a sense of comfort, he doesn’t try hiding them either and is likely to only invite you to his home if he senses you need at least a little more comfort than what he can provide, he knows animals can be therapeutic on several occasions, but for the most part he wants you to be okay with it

Like Eijiro, I get the feeling that you’d likely introduce your friend to your rather loud boyfriend, but to take things a little further I want to say that he is right there with you the whole time when the news hit that your companion passed away, he knows this is likely to affect you more than him but still be can’t help but share that pain with you 

I wanna say that he spend just as much time with your pet whenever he went to see you at your home, that was how he was able to get so attached your companion, he does his best to comfort you while you’re at your most vulnerable he sympathizes with you on this because while he doesn’t think about it too often he does know the following pain that comes along with loving something, someone, too much  

On his radio show, he will put on a playlist dedicated to your companion ones that you listened to when they were still around, honestly this would be the most bittersweet thing he’s done for anyone, and if you listen o is radio I imagine that it will take you down memory lane, there is a lingering hurt but an eventual healing

Hizashi, similarly to Shouta, wouldn’t bring up the topic of getting another pet, at least for a while until he sees that you are back on your feet and that you had completely healed from losing your dear pet, he’s slow to bring the discussion into a conversation and when he gets the green light he’ll go out to find your new friend that you both will live on with

I see him as the type to spoil his pets and lovers, always giving unconditional love and smoothing you and your pets with hugs and kisses, he’s a good man that will stand with you through thick and thin when it comes to the hardships of losing your pet/companion, and I don’t think he’ll be leaving anytime soon

I want to think that Keigo eventually warmed up to your pet, since he wasn’t used to having animals around (due to his upbringing), and he found them really endearing as he got to know them through you, so when news gets to him about your pet passing away he is quick to go to your first

He does his best to comfort you, weather it’s staying by your side for hours or just laying on the bed doing nothing but talk he is attentive when it comes down to what you need in that moment, he knows your hurting and he is trying to put himself in your shoes, he knows that they were dear to you and that your hurting from the loss and once he understands he can see why you loved your pet so dearly when he reflects his time with them 

He won’t make lightheaded comments, but he will listen to all the stories you have as you go down memory lane, he’ll add in his own stories once he feels that you are okay and comfortable talking about your pet

Keigo doesn’t see the need to bring up the topic of getting another pet, when you are ready you are ready, but a hidden part of him wants to surprise you with something he knows you’ll love and treasure, if he sees that you improved and moved on with a healthy and balanced mindset he will gift you a new friend that probably grew on him at some point during their adoption

While Keigo was uneasy in the beginning of getting along with your dear companion he does grow to appreciate the four-legged/winged/scaly/wet friend and grows an understanding of what it is like to have one so loved and cherished that when they leave they leave a lasting impact, and he learns it all through you and your dearest friend, it’s a lesson he learns to appreciate

He understands, he knows what it is like to lose a companion you could consider family (he just had the unfortunate time to develop his quirk), he also understands the pain behind that but he won’t go about comforting you so openly, at least not when the others are around

If he senses that you are in a stable headspace, he’ll bring you video games or place you on his lap if you just feel like watching, he’s more prone to showing comfort through action rather than words, though he will speak when it it most needed of him to do so, and if you don’t feel like speaking at all he won’t mind holding you close as you watch him play, an in a way it is it’s own form of comfort

He will listen to whatever story you have about your dear little friend, and he likely meet them several times to grow a reluctant affection for them, but he wouldn’t be as affected as you are since you had them for a longer time than he knew them, he’ll listen to all the memories you have of your pet and maybe ask a few questions here and there, he doesn’t mind listening to what stories and tales you have about them, from their funny little habits that made them unique from their species to how goofy they were when you were around 

Honestly he just happens to bring in a stray or injured animal by the time you’ve healed and moved on, something in the back of his mind pestered him to not leave the animal behind so he just scooped them up and took them along, though he is rather quick to remember that you might not want an animal around for a while and openly tells you that he doesn’t mind putting them in an adoption center if you’re not open to taing in an animal, thankfully you are and he might of released a breath he didn’t know he was holding in (the man likely got a bit attached to the little thing, not that he’ll admit to that)

He understands the love and pain that comes with raising and caring for animals, he had unfortunate circumstances that lead to him becoming the man he is now, so while he would be rather reluctant to have another one around he can understand the tranquility that can come with it and he knows that it is the same for you, it can bring you a sense of peace and healing, he doesn’t show it often but he is rather content with raising an animal alongside you that both of you can love and care for

[wickedw3asleys]

MINEFIELDS - Pt. 3

George x reader

-> Part 1 , Part 2...

WARNINGS: emotional scenes, mentions of depresion, ptsd... george and y/n had had a hard time basically

AN: sorry for posting these so quickly, for once i had them written in advance and i want to post a part every day :) aLSO VERY SORRY ABOUT DEAN HE'S AN ANGEL AND I LOVE HIM I PROMISE TO DO HIM BETTER IN THE FUTURE :(

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You woke up too a silent house, the moonlight shyly entering your window and resting on your face. You were feeling a little better now, more rested and ready to enter your new journey at the Burrow.

You were feeling peaceful, feeling the sheets in between your fingers and listening to the old house creaking and breathing in the wind that was calmly brushing it's walls; but your peace was quickly interrupted by the thought of George. He had told you that he wanted to talk to you, and now seemed like the moment to do so.

Looking at the clock on the wall in front of you, you were afraid of the current time of night, but as a fortunate surprise, it was only 2 a.m., meaning that George would probably be still awake, or at least, not deeply sleeping.

You got up from the bed, instantly feeling the cold floor under your feet; put a sweater and made your way to the door.

No one was awake anymore, not one light was peeking from under the doors, not even from the living room, so you thought George would still be in his room.

You shyly knocked, not too hard, afraid of Angelina waking up fuming rage, but hoping it would still be loud enough for George to hear it. You waited outside his door for a while and you actually were actually ready to go back to your room and let him sleep when he quietly opened the door.

"Sshh...", he put his finger on his lips. You looked over his shoulder and saw Angelina's back on the bed.

"Okay...", you smiled.

George closed his door and smiled at you, "Let's go then..."

You followed him downstairs, where the fireplace automatically lit up the moment you stepped in the living room.

"This has always amazed me...", you chuckle.

George continued smiling; he warmly took your hand and you both sat on the couch.

For a while you kept looking at the fireplace, still feeling George's gaze on you.

"It's rude to stare...", you tell him without looking at him.

He softly chuckles, shaking his head, "Sorry... I'm still processing the fact that you're here"

"Me too, actually..."

You felt his body relax next to you, his back now on the back of the sofa.

"I don't really know how to start this conversation...", you admit, looking at him.

"Me neither... I want this to be calm and with no rush... Like we used to talk..."

"These were the best talks...", you smile at the thought.

"Okay, sorry for being so direct and shitting on the "no rush" part, but... why did you leave, Y/N?", he asks after a few seconds.

"Going right in, I see...", you chuckle, "After everything, I thought it would be better for me to disappear from everyone's life... I thought it would be better for your family, for me... And for you... I thought it would help us heal quicker..."

"No offense, but... That's bullshit...", George chuckles, making you laugh too.

"Fuck you! Everything I did was to protect and help you!", you pushed his arm.

"Ouch! No need to get aggressive on that one!", he laughs, "But really... Why did you leave?"

Your smile slowly faded away, not totally sure how to say it. "I wasn't sure if I would have been able to look at you ever again...", your voice breaks.

As sad and selfish it sounded, it was the truth. It is terrible and literally the worst thing someone could ever say but you couldn't lie to him, not anymore, not like that.

"I felt the same for so long...", George answers, "And because I know and understand that feeling, I can't be mad at you for that..."

"George..."

"It's true... I mean, it's normal... I don't have any bad feelings towards you for that... It's just-

"I don't know how to justify or explain myself... I truly don't, but I promise, George, that it is not like that anymore... I see you, my friend, my Georgie. I was just afraid... I don't know how to explain all of that...", you started to feel you throat getting sore and dry, not knowing how to continue, "I-I... I was afraid to see him in you, and not being able to see you anymore... Does that make sense...?"

"It does... I get it... Promise...", he warmly smiles, "I was feeling exactly like that at first... I was afraid to forget about me and only seeing... Fred... And the first time I looked through a mirror I... I couldn't do it...", George lowered his head.

"Y/N... You loved him, right?", he asks after a few seconds of silence.

You nodded as you felt your eyes fill with tears again, "I'm sorry, George... I should have told you..."

He gently took your hand in his, locking his eyes with yours again, "I knew... Don't worry about that...", he softly smiled, "I've always thought you two would have ended up together, y'know?"

You let out a shaky breath you didn't know you were holding. For all these years spent with the twins, you have found yourself wondering the same thing too, and hoping for it to be true. You truly loved Fred. More than a friend. Always.

"But it's okay now...", you smile between tears, "He was still my best friend after all, just like you... I forgot about these feelings... I just miss him as him, as my best friend..."

George sighed, but never let your hand go, "Me too..."

"I didn't want to leave you, George... I want you to know that... What I did was stupid and impulsive... But I never wanted to do it..."

"I know, darling... I know...", he smiled at you, "But I needed you..."

"I know, I'm sorry...", you felt your eyes burn with tears, "I swear leaving was the biggest mistake in my life..."

"Like I said, you're here now... That's all that matters...", he says, tightening his grip on your hand.

"And what about you? You and Angelina, huh?", you tried to calm the situation.

"Uhm... Yeah...", he smiled, "It's... a long story..."

"That's why we're here, right?"

He chuckled again, "Well... I've had a... pretty bad time after... Fred's death...", his voice broke, "And I needed someone to be there for me... And she was there... She was writing to me almost every day, asking about me and how I was holding on... And when I told her that every day got worse and worse, that I wasn't even able to look at myself in the mirror... She came here... And she never left..."

"She helped you get better...", you say, faking a smile.

"Sort of... And one thing led to another and well... We've been dating for 3 years now..."

"I'm happy for you"

"No, you're not...", George laughs, making your

mouth open in fake annoyance.

"W-what do you mean? Of course I am! You're my best friend! I'm happy you had someone like her during these difficult times..."

"You're happy I wasn't alone... You're not happy for that person to he her...", he winked at you. He definitely knew you too well. It was true, you would have hoped George to have anybody else by his side but her.

"She wasn't very nice to me in school... I've always thought she hates me or something...", you awkwardly rubbed your forehead.

"Oh she does, she definitely does..."

"George!", you laugh loudly.

"What? You stole us from her since day one!", he laughed with you, "First Fred, then me... You were always first..."

"It's that true...?", you ask, looking at him in the eyes.

"Of course...", you could see him gain nervousness as he started looking at the fireplace, "It was always you... For everything... For Fred and for me..."

"W-what do you-

"Don't ask, you know what it means...", he looked down, as if he was ashamed of his answer.

You were completely in shock by his confession, paralyzed; not knowing what do say or even how to form words.

"Come on... You're going to tell me that you didn't know?"

"I-I... No... I didn't know...", you put your hand on your mouth, not believing anything, "You mean... You and Fred?"

He didn't say anything, he just smiled and nodded.

"Oh..."

"Sorry, Y/N..."

"It's o-okay... I just... I don't know...", you felt your heart beat quicker and quicker every second.

George chuckled and pulled you into a hug,

"Don't say anything, you don't have to if you don't want to... It's alright", he whispered to you.

It's not that you didn't want to say anything, you actually had a lot to say, but you didn't know how, and words refused to leave your mouth, fearing to say something bad when you didn't mean it. So you just stayed there, in his arms, breathing in his cologne and enjoying the warm feeling of his body against yours.

"And about you... How's it going with Dean?", he asks, breaking the silence.

"You know about Dean?", you were surprised by the question, you'd never thought he would know.

"Huh? How do you know I'm with him?"

"Hermione snitched last year...", he chuckles, "I'd never thought he was your type, though..."

"Come on, you just don't like him for breaking your sister's heart...", you smile.

"That's... not entirely false...", he says, making you laugh.

"I needed someone too... He was there when no one was..."

"Did he heal you?", George asks.

You take a moment to think about your answer. Has Dean really helped you? Did you heal thanks to him? You really appreciate him, and cherished every moment he stayed with you when you couldn't sleep or eat. He helped you ease your mind and find a little peace in your life. He was there when no one was.

He fed you, held your hair up when your stomach couldn't handle the food, when you woke up hysterically crying at 4 a.m., when you totally dissociated from reality...

"I would like to say yes, because he was there, always... At any time of the day and night... But I know he couldn't give me what I needed... And I know he tried his best, he has spent the last 4 years taking care of me, basically... Without asking anything in return...", you sigh, "But deep down I know he's not what I needed..."

"And what do you need?"

"I don't know yet..."

Once again, you let the silence install between you and George, not really knowing what to say, just thinking about everything.

But quickly, your thoughts got interrupted by the sound of the family clock hitting 4 a.m.

"We should go back to our rooms...", George says, helping you stand up with him.

"Yeah... I'm sorry for keeping you up, you have to sleep too"

"Don't worry, it was my idea after all...", he smiles.

You exchanged a quick smile and glance before going up the stairs together through the darkness of the house.

"Good night, Y/N..."

"Night, Georgie...", you took his arm and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, petting his hair on the way.

"Thank you for coming back, I truly mean it..."

"Thank you for not hating me...", you smile. And with that, George smiles and go back to his room, quietly closing the door behind him. You copied his actions and got back to yours, thinking about the conversation you had with George. You knew that lots of things were still needed to be said and talked about, but you didn't have the heart to ask more of it. You didn't want to rush things or pressure George to talk about the past or his feelings, so you thought it would be a good idea to go slowly but surely; letting George take his time and talk to you whenever he feels like it. After all, as selfish as it would sound, you were there mostly for him. You were happy to see the others, especially Molly; but you knew George was the most affected by everything, and you wanted to stay with him.

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tag-list:

@28cnn , @lindsaytriestowrite , @jenniweaslee , @amityyyjade , @dracossimp01 , @themoonwithprophets , @hufflepuffflowers , @georgeweasley19 , @mendesdelight

[veterveter]

I'm looking for a way to drop that funeral planning ficlet on tumblr, maybe this would be a "fun" way to do that?

“Everyone should wear black.”

“Of course they will, it’s a funeral.”

“Not because it’s a funeral. Because it’s stylish.”

“Whatever. I’ll write it on the invite. Wear black, it’s stylish.”

“Thank you. White roses, white lilies. You’ll play a white piano. You should play Bella Ciao, that could be my requiem. I think it would be fitting.” He imagines how Martín would make it sound – he would doubtlessly turn the joyful rebellion into something haunting. “Nevertheless, everything will be white, except for the guests.”

“Duly noted.”

“Have everyone bring red roses to lay on my casket. You’ll curse God as you stand there, for a while. I hope rains.” He leans back, and it doesn’t ache too much, and that feels like a blessing. “And afterwards, you’ll go clubbing.”

This makes Martín pause, finally.

Andrés makes sure to have eye contact as he continues, “You and Sergio. Dance. Drink. Start with wine, then whisky, then shots of tequila. Get drunk, forget about me and live.”

Martín sneers, an ugly little thing. His face was made for joy, not… whatever this is. “You won’t have any control over me anymore, Andrés.”

Andrés continues to look at him. An ugly little thing he has always loved. “I will always have control over you. You will do as I ask of you.”

____________________

A week ago, he said, “One last plan, Martín.”

It was the first time he had seen Martín’s eyes light up in three months.

It was the first time he truly felt cruel in his life, when he followed it up with, “The funeral. We need to plan it, you and I.”

The light behind Martín’s eyes faded, and Andrés knew he would never see it again. He wished he had cherished it when he still had the chance, when it took nothing at all to coax it out of him. When that light was his default expression, when Andrés’s presence brought him joy – instead of everlasting pain, a suffering that would surely stay with him for the rest of Martín’s life.

Martín does it, of course. Martín is dutiful, so he clears out the blackboard, without a moment’s hesitation, wipes away the plans they had. He doesn’t say, not even once, this is morbid, Andrés, even though he must be thinking it. Andrés hopes that someday, Martín might think back to these days and find them cathartic. Or that he’ll find it in himself to be proud.

Proud of himself for being brave enough to watch Andrés wither. Proud of the depth of his love. Proud of the gracefulness of their plan, Andrés’s swan song.

Together, they plan the setting. Privately, Andrés plans everything else.

He plans futures for his loved ones.

Tatiana will look pretty as she cries, a woman too young and alive to be a widower. Martín will comfort her, will wrap his arms around her as she shakes with tears. He has never held a woman like that before, but he will do it, if only to distract himself. She will bring him comfort, because she will understand a shard of his suffering, the thinnest sliver of it. Because Martín will be able to look at her and see her love for what it is: inferior.

Sergio will be fine. He has Raquel, and Paula, he has already started building a life that doesn’t include Andrés. It’s just as well. He’s finally growing up, doing what he has to. Taking care of himself in a world that has never cared about him.

Maybe Sergio and Martín will finally bond, over their shared pain.

Or maybe they will become strangers, incapable of meeting each other’s eyes, unwilling to see their own suffering reflected back in them. Andrés can’t do anything about that. He’s not God. Gods are eternal.

For Martín, Andrés has only one plan, but his is the most important one.

Martín will live.

____________________

If it weren’t for Martín, Andrés would have simply killed himself. Truly, he would have. He would have crafted an elegant death for himself, something poetic and needlessly cruel.

The only reason he deems it necessary to cling to life so desperately, even as his body withers, is to give Martín this. He wants Martín to have closure. He wants Martín to grieve beautifully.

Even though Andrés is technically still alive, he misses what life used to feel like. What life was meant to be like. He misses stealing priceless jewels and irreplaceable paintings. He misses drinking tea and going on walks. He misses feeling untethered by the confines of his mortal body.

He misses Martín.

Other people will doubtlessly go on walks and steal jewels, but Martín will eternally be but a shade of himself. Andrés is taking Martín’s heart and soul to his grave, and leaving behind this sad little puppet, his strings pulled by mourning and hatred.

Some part of Andrés is quietly pleased with that. There’s a certain beauty to be found in everlasting suffering.

And if he can’t have Martín in all his glorious brilliance and destructive grace, then no one should.

____________________

“You haven’t changed your mind, have you?” Martín asks, in a falsely casual manner, studying his cup of coffee.

Andrés sighs. He had been thinking, foolishly, that Martín will have finally gotten the hint, but of course not. Martín never truly stops, he just reschedules. Anything he ever feels or thinks willcome back, again and again, until he finally finds something to do with it.

“No. And I won’t, so you can stop asking.”

“You won’t even know what I do. You’ll be dead.”

“But you will. And I am not giving you my blessing to put a bullet to your brain. You’ll live. It’s my last wish and you will honour it.”

“I never thought you’d be so cruel,” Martín says, his tone accusatory and wounded.

He doesn’t continue, but the implication is clear: he means not to me. He knows Andrés, knows exactly how cruel he is. He just never thought it would be aimed at himself. He’s Andrés’s foil, his mirror, his other half.

And he’s right. It was never meant to be.

“So be it. You’ll live the life I never got to have. If you must die, then it will be from something else. Not your own hands.”

“Andrés…”

“I didn’t get to make a choice, and neither will you.”

He has to ask Martín for this, despite knowing that it’s the cruelest thing to ask for. Because no one else has ever loved Andrés enough to live for him. No one else ever would have, even if he had more time. Andrés knows he’s hard to love. And anyone would be hard to love, this unconditionally.

It was only ever going to be Martín.

Andrés doesn’t allow himself to wonder if he would be willing to go through the same, were the roles reversed. He’s afraid of being bitterly disappointed in himself, on his final days.

Martín has always been his favourite part of himself: just the right kind of cruel, the correct shade of suicidal. Chaos without an outlet, manifesting in the strangest ways. A genius caged in the body of a man.

Now Martín is going to be the only part of him left. That thought doesn’t bring Andrés peace, necessarily, but it’s one of the only things he isn’t going to leave behind as regrets.

“I’m sure time will bring us back together.”

Martín glares at him, but he says nothing. Martín doesn’t believe in any kind of life after death, or absolution, or even redemption, but he’s not going to say that to a dying man. Martín is never going to be fully honest with him again.

Andrés wants to hear every single ugly and awful thought he is holding back.

____________________

“Can I stay here?”

“Martín…”

“Just to be here. I won’t do anything. I just want to—”

Andrés sighs, too weak to argue, in mind and body as well as in spirit. “Fine, come here.” He scoots over, allowing Martín space on the bed.

“You are my own personal hell,” Martín muses quietly in the dark. He stays an arm’s length away, and Andrés can’t summon the energy to question it. “All nine circles, just you, every moment of my life with you.”

Andrés feels the same way about Martín. All nine circles, every wasted opportunity. If there is life after death, he might be stuck repeating exactly that.

He would still take it. He would choose hell of himself repeating the same mistakes with Martín, over heaven without him.

“Would you do it again?”

Martín turns to look at him, doesn’t answer right away. “I would watch you die a hundred times over,” he finally admits, quiet in the way the truth always is.

How misfortunate Andrés is, to have been given a love like that. A love so desperate, so out of control. He would have much rather been loved by a woman, someone like Tatiana, softly but without the intent to burn and destroy everything around them.

If Andrés has to be loved like this, he should have at least been given the chance to truly reciprocate. He should have been given time to give Martín everything he deserves and everything he doesn’t. He should have been allowed to give Martín the entire world, with all of its beauty and all of its gore. To murder every last man but themselves, to bask in their own brilliance, surrounded by all those decaying bodies, rather than being trapped in his own.

Their love is but an incomplete masterpiece, smiting them both with its existence. It’s unimaginable cruelty, because theirs is a love most will never get to experience.

It could have been so perfect.

“You should do the bank heist with Sergio,” he says, “Take my place. Do it in my honour.”

“Sure,” Martín says, and for that one word, his tone is as amused as it is destructive. “It’s always been a suicide, that plan. It was meant to be ours.” He angles his entire body away from Andrés, like looking at him is suddenly somehow offensive. “Now it’ll just be mine.”

____________________

“Here’s what I would have done, if we had more time.”

Andrés doesn’t have the energy to do anything but angle his head towards Martín, without even opening his eyes.

“I would have married you. I like to think you would have wanted that, too. I would have taken your last name. We would have bought an island. We would have stolen all the most priceless things in the world and gifted them to each other. I would have killed all of your ex-wives. Well, maybe not Tatiana, she’s grown on me. But we would have been happy, you and I.”

He takes Andrés’s left hand in both of his, and sighs.

“Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that.”

Andrés wonders if he would have been better off not knowing all of this.

____________________

The end comes fast.

That makes it both easier and harder, but Andrés doesn’t have the energy to feel sad or grateful. He feels like he still has things he would like to say, to both Sergio and Martín, but he just feels tired. Too tired to remember the words, too tired to decide if they need to be said after all.

Every day, he’s awake less and less, to the point where there’s no longer days to speak of. There’s only moments, all of them with Martín by his side. His presence is the only thing Andrés takes notice of, even if he can’t conjure up many thoughts about it. Or anything else.

Andrés is no longer conscious as he takes his last breath, but as he falls under, the last thing he sees are Martín’s sad, sad eyes. The last thought he ever has is

unimaginable

cruelty.

[trouvelle]

I love all your Heizuha contents!!!! Oneshots, drabbles, etc (memes too lol). And your ANGST FICS???? I'M DESTROYED. Just curious, if you are accepting requests, can you write happy shinran and heizuha oneshot? I need something to heal from your angsty AUs 😢😢😢😢💦💦

Hi hello thank you so much 🥺 AH YES HEIZUHA I’m HEART-EYES FOREVER 😍!! My hot-blooded Kendo boi and his Aikido (and Karuta) queen ugh they make me feel so soft. Wait—don’t be destroyed pls omg I have a shinran oneshot first for you right here! And yes it actually is a happy one. Although I gotta say I’m probably even worse at doing happy sappy fluff. But still, I hope you like this! ❤️❤️

Fandom: Detective Conan/DCMK Pairing: Shinichi/Ran Rating: G Genre/Tags: Romance, Fluff Summary: Ran hates being apart from Shinichi. All she wants is to feel his warmth next to her. 

•

Ran is happy to be with Shinichi, even if it means not being physically together and having to survive long distance.

Now she would be lying if she says it doesn’t bother her in the slightest. After they got together and she finds out that Shinichi still has to leave for his ongoing case, her initial thought is that it wouldn’t bother her. She’s grown so used to it by now. It’s not like he’s never coming back, because he always does. After all, they just started dating, and maybe this way they’ll still be in their honeymoon stage for years to come.

They have been doing alright with frequent calls and texts sent to each other. Although she is slightly upset that they can’t physically go out on any dates, hearing Shinichi’s voice always makes everything worth it. She knows she’s going to forget all this as soon as she sees him again.

She does expect Shinichi to be as sad and lonely as she is, but she never asks about it. She doesn’t want him to think that she’s already turning clingy after only a few months into their relationship. And because she is an understanding girlfriend, she never tells him how she feels about it. She has been saying “I love you” more often though, now that she’s more comfortable saying it, which he always happily returned. She never once doubts Shinichi either—he gives her zero reasons to. Besides, they have short meet ups every now and then, and those feel like they are enough for her.

There are certain things that leaves her feeling an extra amount of longing. When she sees couples out and about in the streets, or strolling around the park, or fooling around in the hallway of their school, it breaks her heart a little. She wants Shinichi by her side, to be able to cuddle into his warmth. She wants to walk next to him and hold his hand, to go to the movies and check out cute restaurants.

“I miss you,” Ran mumbles into her mic, only one side of her earphones on. She is lying on her bed, on a call with her boyfriend who is still away, on yet another case. She has to cherish all their calls together because time is all she can afford.

She traces her finger on her phone’s screen, outlining his name that’s currently displayed, yearning to touch him. She can't help but feel disappointed when all she can feel is how hot her phone is. She should probably get a new phone soon. 

“I miss you too. More than words can describe,” Shinichi replies guiltily, sad that Ran is so troubled. He has been trying to ease her pain by sneaking away to call her more often these days. He sees the longing in her eyes, always wondering what he can do for her. He hates it, hates seeing Ran’s face contort into sadness and what seems like disappointment. It never gets any easier. 

If only she knows that they are actually together literally every single day.

“Anyway, how is your day?” Shinichi asked, trying to change the subject to distract her. 

Ran huffs. “Conan-kun left on a weekend camping trip with his class. I’m worried about his safety. They’re elementary students, they’re not supposed to go camping in the mountains yet!”

Shinichi smiles fondly. Yep, he’s definitely on his camping trip all right.

“Also, it is kind of lonely here when he’s not around.” Lonelier, she adds to herself.

“You have nothing to worry about, I’m sure he’ll be okay,” Shinichi reassures, grinning.

“I suppose it’s true. Conan-kun does know how to take care of himself. What are you doing, anyway? Do you have to go soon? Can we switch to video call?” The hope in her voice is unmistakable. He purposely ignores Ran’s questions while wrecking his brain for a believable excuse to not switch to video call. But it is too late, she has already pressed the button that requested for him to accept the call.

Uh oh.

Shinichi curses silently. As soon as their cameras are on, he raises his phone up close to his face, careful to leave the streetlights out of view. “Hi!,” he says, hoping she wouldn’t detect the nervousness in his voice. Ran squints at the blurry screen. She can’t see much, but it is enough to make her whole evening better.

“You know what, Shinichi? It’s okay, you’re probably busy and tired, I understand! Have a good night or morning, wherever you are, okay?” Ran yawns, turning to lie on the other side as she reaches out to switch off her table lamp. “I’m already getting ready for bed anyway. Please stay safe out there. I love you.” 

“NO!” Shinichi yells, before realizing how loud and unnecessary it is. He stops to look around, praying that no one around him is affected by the noise he is making. Ran is decently surprised. “Shinichi, what’s wrong?”

“I, uh, I’m staking out a criminal’s possible hideout. It’s really boring here because nothing is happening so far and it’s probably deserted. Keep me me while I wait?” Shinichi asks sheepishly, belatedly realizing how dumb of an excuse he just gave. Is it even believable in the slightest? “I’m just walking around the place now,” He adds as he quickened his pace. 

Ran yawns but he can see her nodding her head in the dark. “Don’t you have to be aware of your surroundings, though? What if the bad guys creep up on you?”

“You’re right,” he says half-heartedly, not really paying attention to what she’s saying anymore. He’s trying to climb up the stairs as fast as his feet can take him. He is so close.

Ran mumbles something sleepily in return. How she wishes for body heat, but she only had her blanket to make up for the warmth. She closes her eyes, unaware that the line has gone silent. After a few more beats of silence, she hears the front door being unlocked. She sits up, suddenly alert and forgetting about her call with Shinichi. It is definitely not her father, since she can hear his snores very audibly from his room. Is it Conan, coming back from his camping trip a few days early? But—it’s literally the middle of the night, so if it actually is Conan, he has some explaining to do. She tip-toes to the door just to get ready in case it is an actual robber.

As the door unlocks and the intruder enters, Ran’s eyes widen and her hand flails around for the switch to turn one of the lights one as she recognizes the familiar silhouette. It can't be.

“Surprise.” Shinichi is standing there, smiling widely at the sight of his dumbfounded girlfriend.

Ran stares at the boy in front of her for a good while before reaching out for him in a frenzy. “You’re kidding,” she chokes out, wrapping her arms tightly around him, afraid he will be gone again as soon as she let go. 

“I’ve missed you too,” Shinichi sighs, hugging Ran back just as tight. They stand like that, hugging at the door silently, choosing to ignore the fact that her father can very well walk out of his room at any given moment. Shinichi pulls away, frowning, when he realizes that she is crying.

“Hey, don’t cry.” He whispers softly, bending his knees to look at Ran who has her head down. She shakes her head, opting to bury her face in his chest instead. Shinichi run his hands up and down her back, gently kissing the top of her head. “Don’t cry, I’m here.”

Ran looks up, a few droplets of tears streaming down her face. “That’s exactly why I’m crying! You’re back now, for.. God knows how long, and then you’re gonna have to leave me again. Probably in a few hours, or in the morning if we’re lucky,” she cries, sniffling. “I’ve missed you so much.”

Shinichi remains quiet as Ran cries her heart out in silence. Then, he very gently lifts her up, carrying her to the bedroom and setting her down on the bed. “Actually, I have a few days to spend with you.”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re right. And I’m not gonna lie to you, I will have to leave again, but not until Monday. So.. I’m yours for the whole weekend.” Shinichi says, hoping for her acceptance, despite how little he is offering her right now.

“The whole weekend?” Her smile is back on her face at this point. Sounds like she will just have to make the most out of this weekend, then. It’s a good thing she doesn’t have anything yet planned. She wipes the tears off of her face. She can’t waste their time together by crying like this. “Oh Shinichi, there are so many places that I wanted to go with you to!”

“We can go anywhere you want,” says Shinichi. That already sounds perfect to him. Truth be told, any moments spent with Ran were perfect. The Where and What weren’t all that important. Like right now. Even in the dim light, he can see how bright she’s smiling. God, all he wanted to do is stare at her and admire her beauty, amongst everything else.

He hates lying to Ran, although it is done to protect her, to shield her. He will have to lie to her some more, but this time, he does not want to make any more promises he can't keep. “It will all be over soon, I promise. I’ll come home for good.” You’re my home, he wants to say.

She has missed him so much—she missed his voice, his scent, his warmth, his presence. She crawls towards him, unable to hide the overwhelming sense of hope that arises after his declaration. “Really?”

“Really.” Ran can feel the tears welling up again. This time, out of happiness. “It hurts so much to not be able to be by your side.”

“I’m here,” murmurs Shinichi quietly as he reaches out to wipe some of her fallen tears away with the pad of his thumb. “... and I’m always watching.” he adds quietly, wrapping an arm around her as he hugs her to sleep.

Ran nods in silence. She has so many things to tell him, but she is content with just enjoying his warmth and presence beside her for now. Truly, nothing can compare to the homey feeling and the familiarity of being next to Shinichi. She lets him hold her to sleep, his voice a lullaby that carries her out of consciousness.

“I’m always with you,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss her forehead, “There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

[missyslittlepet]

((Finally done, not much to this one but again at least it's something. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy it! 💙))

A Different Kind Of Love

The chill of the wind seemed colder today than it had in a while. You gently tugged your coat tighter around your body and let out a sigh. You watched as the mist left your mouth and danced in front of your eyes before quickly dispersing into the nothing. When your vision focused again you found yourself taking in the view. Despite how many times you had seen it, it never failed to take your breath away.

The sun was brightly glistening off the mountain caps in the distance as you leant against the icy steel of the railing surrounding the balcony. You peered over the railing and through the mist below you could just make out the crude heart shaped crater. You didn't want to think about the tragedy that had taken place there.

"I thought you might like something to drink?" Heartman's voice was almost a whisper as he spoke.

You could hear him slowly approaching from behind you and soon enough he was by your side, two cups of fresh coffee in his hand. He offered one to you with a lopsided grin and you took it gratefully, savouring the warmth of the cup and the glorious smell that now permeated the crisp morning air.

"Thank you, but shouldn't I be making you the coffee not the other way around." You grinned, taking a sip. You closed your eyes again as the warmth ran down your throat. "Perfect. This couldn't have come at a better time."

"I agree wholeheartedly." Heartman smiled taking a drink from his own cup. "There really is nothing like a good cup of coffee to jumpstart your day."

You hummed in agreement and gave him a thumbs up. The blue heart hologram blinked for a few second before disappearing again. Heartman adjusted his glasses and chuckled. Slowly he leant against the railing awkwardly hitting his defibrillator off the metal with a clink. He let out a sigh and took another long sip.

"How was it?" You asked looking over at him.

"Still no sign of them." Sadness flickered behind his eyes for a moment before he smiled again. "However, data is data."

You placed your free hand over his and smiled at him sadly.

"We'll find them one day Heartman, just you wait." You squeezed his hand reassuringly causing him to smile He turn his hand upwards so his palm was against yours and held you hand tightly.

When Heartman had lost his wife and daughter in a void out he would have given anything to see them again. He would travel the beaches and follow the footprints hoping that it would lead him where he needed to go. Instead of seeing it as unsuccessful when he didn't find his family he started using his trips and knowledge to try and understand what was going on. Through his research he had met you.

After losing your husband in one of the attacks you had made it your mission to find him again and began researching BTs. Your speciality was experimenting on ways to capture and observe them in order to see if there was anyway to bring their consciousness back despite them not always having a body to return to. While you studied them you had began making to scale sculptures in your spare time. When a letter from Heartman had arrived in your inbox expressing how impressed he was by your studies and how he would be very interested in owning some of your artist impressions you were taken aback.

You had heard of him before but despite your stories being so similar you never would have thought that you would communicate with him.

The man who travelled to the beach every twenty one minutes seemed like he would have all the research he needed, not that you were going to question his judgment. Within seconds you were writing out a response and picking out a few of your best pieces for him. In the reply you explained that you were thankful for the opportunity to work along side him and that you would have a porter deliver some of your work to him as soon as possible.

He was thrilled when he got your response and even more so when he finally received your package. In his spare few minutes before going back to the beach he quickly got to work placing them around the lab. In his next time window he spent all of it taking in all of the detail he had missed beforehand.

After a few weeks of corresponding though the mail Heartman decided it would be more beneficial for you to move into his lab permanently. Not only would it give you more time to work together but it would also mean no more worrying over if packages would get lost before they made it to your respective laboratories.

After about a year of working together so closely one thing had lead to another and you found yourselves in a relationship of sorts. You both knew that feelings had started to blossom and you both agreed to act upon them. Your previous partners would want you to be happy even if you did continue to research and try to locate them in the meantime. Life was indeed too short after all, especially now.

The love between you and Heartman was unlike any other. You both deeply respected one another's past partners and understood that, while you both loved one another, the love for the families you had had did not disappear. You still kept your wedding ring around your neck on a silver chain and Heartman still had photographs around his lab of his wife and daughter. It worked for you both and that was what mattered. Holding onto the past all day everyday got lonely but sharing your life with someone who truly understood was precious.

As time went on your relationship had been put under a spotlight a few times, being so important in the science field meant that there was gossip. They would question your motives. After all, why find your deceased partners while also being in a new relationship? It made you both extremely uncomfortable but deep down the mutual understanding that you both had didn't need to be understood by anyone other than yourselves. You were both happy in your own little bubble far away in the mountains.

"How much longer do we have left?" You asked drinking what was left of your coffee.

Heartman looked down at the small screen of his AED and frowned.

"We have about twelve more minutes and then I must return to the beach." He too drank the remainder of his coffee and sighed again.

Despite wanting to find his family there were times, like this one, where he wished he could stay for a little bit longer. He wanted to be able to spend more time with you uninterrupted but alas, this was just how things were. As he had always said, most of lifes basic functions did fit rather easily into the twenty one minute cycle, it's a shame that love was not as basic. You made it work thought, hell, you even had a bit of a love life when you were both extremely lucky.

"We should probably head back inside then. I really don't want you to injure yourself... again." You laughed remembering a time before the padded flooring was installed and he spent the rest or the day with an ice pack pressed to his forehead. You lead him back inside not letting go of his hand.

The warmth from the crackling fire inside was a welcomed feeling. You placed the empty mugs on the counter and took a seat on the sofa. Heartman sat beside you and smiled pulling you closer to him.

"How about we watch a movie after I return?" Heartman asked still smiling. "We haven't watched Twenty Minutes of Love in a while."

"Honestly that sounds perfect. I think im due some time off from BT research." You laughed and kissed his jawline before resting your head against his chest.

"You see, I don't get time off but I'd be more than happy to spend all of my down time with you." He pressed his lips to your hairline as he spoke.

"5 minutes until cardiac arrest." Heartman's AED reminded him.

"Oh, shut up. I'm putting you on mute" Heartman's brows furrowed as he disabled the alerts on his machine.

"You know you really should keep that alert on." You laughed. "It's pretty important don't you agree?"

"And have it ruin our time together? What a silly thing to suggest." He pressed another kiss to you hairline causing you to look up at him.

His bright blue eyes observed you closely from behind his glasses and you felt your cheeks blush slightly.

"It's doesn't ruin our time together, it just reminds you when you need to start preparing for your... temporary death. I really do wish we had more time between the cycle. I know you're doing amazing and important work but I guess I'm selfish. I truly hope that this visit offers you more than your last one though. You deserve to be happy."

Heartman made a thumbs up and you heard the noise of a like fill the silence making you chuckle.

"I wish I had more time also. I love my family but I also love you. My cycle, although vital to my research, does stop me from enjoying moments in this plane of existence. I do cherish every moment we have together even more because of my departures, you know that (f/n). It's important that you remember I am happy, both researching and with you."

You smiled again and got comfortable against his chest.

His thumb rubbed small circles on your shoulder as you enjoyed what little time you had. When his hand went limp and the lighting of the room changed you knew it had started. You reached for his hourglass and tapped it against the table in order to rest it. You then unmuted the AED so that you wouldn't share the shock it would administer Heartman. The flat line noise echoed around the room as you quickly set up the movie so that you could enjoy it later without worrying about Heartman missing the end, even if you had watched it one hundred times already. When you had finally finished you sat next to him again on the sofa.

Despite him being dead he looked peaceful, his arm still around you. You didn't like this three minute wait at all. Not only did you not get to hear his voice but it was the not knowing that was painful. You wondered if today would be the day he found his family and you hoped for his sake he did.

You turned and stroked your fingers through his hair. When he was alive it was one of his favourite things you did. He would fall asleep in your lap while you did that if he could. Your hand slowly came to rest on his cheek and your thumb brushed over his cheekbone. That was one perk to his beach visits, you could take in every detail of his face without the fear of him catching you staring. That was one regret you had about your life before the Death Stranding. The world was so hectic with work and stress that you never took the time to appreciate what you had. Every passing day it was getting harder and to picture your husbands face. With no photographs you were left clinging to the memories the two of you had shared. All you had left of him was your wedding ring and you kept it close always.

You were determined not to make the same mistakes again. You took many photos of you and Heartman together and made sure to make copies. You took time out to appreciate all he was. His calming accent, the way his eyes brightened up when he was happy. You refused to miss a moment.

You were pulled from your thoughts by the AED

"Administering shock. Stand clear."

You jumped back just in time to avoid the shock. Heartman sat bolt upright and blinked the tears from his eyes with a gasp.

"Welcome back." You grinned.

He smiled and quickly logged his journey through his cuff. Once he was finished he looked at you once again.

"How did it go? Any sign of th-" You began.

Heartman held up his hand and chuckled

"Come here." Heartman's arms reached for you. You did as he asked and he pulled you close again. " There's time for all of that but right now I believe we have a movie to watch."

You grinned and snuggled closer to him. You were thankful he was putting the beach aside just for now.

Your relationship was like no other. Helping to find long lost families while simultaneously loving the bones of your research partner was a very strange concept. There was a lot of things in this world that didn't make sense but this, cuddled up watching movies as the fire crackled and the snow fell outside... it felt right. So long as it made sense to the two of you then what did the circumstances matter?

You had your work, Heartman and your little bubble in the mountains. To hell with everyone else.

[katsukiboom]

Hi I'm so sorry but I completely forgot weather or not I requested this from you already or not if I did just delete this please hahahhaha anyways. could I request a bakugo × chubby!insecure reader and its starts off with angst from her being bullied about it and ends in fluff And happiness. I'm sorry if I sent this twice I just genuinely can't remember and also feel free to add anyone you like to this if you want tysm!

You hadn’t sent it dear, it’s okay! I’m sorry for the delay, I’ve been awful at writing scenarios lately, but I hope you like this!

Katsuki first started to notice the little changes in your attitude when you showed up to a date one day, wearing your sleeves a bit longer than usual and looking down, refusing to even grab his hands as he knew you liked to do. He said nothing as he looked for your touch anyways and when you shyly complied he noticed the bright blush that tinted your cheeks and the pout on your lips, but he thought it was only because of him and held you tightly as you walked together to your favourite fast food place.

The worry that something could be happening when you were away from him at your own school appeared on his mind when he picked you up a Saturday afternoon after some supplementary classes you had - you almost ran off the place and threw yourself into his arms, your eyes red and puffy but he wouldn’t push the subject, instead choosing to walk away as fast as he could to get you somewhere you’d feel more comfortable. You were shaking when you hugged him, and it infuriated him to think someone could be doing something bad to you.

It wasn’t until the first time he visited your house that he decided to take matters into his own hands; he was just sitting in your bed, waiting for you to get changed at your bathroom when your phone buzzed on top of the bed. Katsuki wasn’t one to pry on your privacy but the constant vibrations annoyed him greatly and prompted him to sit up and grab it, ready to tell whoever was bothering your afternoon together to piss off when he read the ongoing chain of messages coming from someone saved only as Nina.

He could’ve assumed it was one of your girl friends by the way you seemed to know her and that she seemed to be aware of his presence at your house, but the way she referred to you as ‘miss Piggy’ and referred to him as a ‘farmer who took care of a pig and only settled’ for you made him feel sick to his stomach. As he heard you calling out to him from the other side of the bathroom door, asking if everything was okay as he was really quiet, he just said, “It’s all good - hurry up and come back here so I can can cuddle the shit out of you.” Quickly tapping on your phone, he opened the camera and took a selfie with his middle finger up and the most conceited smile he could make, sending it to the girl with the simple caption, ‘This fucking farmer will kick your ass if you don’t stop already.’

Katsuki sent it just as you came back to your bedroom, a horrified expression appearing on your face as you noticed he had your phone on his hands, but he just looked at you with anger. He knew very well that he could be persuasive if he wanted it, and that was one of the times he was decided to get his way. “What are you doing?” you asked slowly, crossing your arms in an attempt to seem intimidating despite the fear on your face, but he wasn’t going to be swayed by it - he never was. “T-that’s mine, Katsuki.”

“And you’re mine and I should know if something’s bothering you, don’t you think? We’re not really playing by the fucking rules here.” While he didn’t want to be overly abrasive with the way he talked to you, he did feel like you needed to understand that he was worried, and that was the only way he could speak his mind properly. “So, are you going to tell me about this Nina thing? Were you ever going to let me know?”

You looked away, clearly embarrassed - his own mind was racing with the different things that could’ve been said to you during the time you were together, or even before because he was sure it wasn’t a new problem you had to deal with. “It’s nothing you could change,” you said with your shoulders down and looking defeated, turning your attention back to him with teary eyes and a sad smile. “It has nothing to do with you, really; it’s just me, and this stupid body of mine. It’s been like that for years, and even if I tried to lose a bit of weight they’d still go on about how… I’m a pig, how no one would love me and if I ever found someone to be with me I’d crush them with my body.”

Walking towards the bed, you sat next to him but refused to meet his gaze; he had to stop himself from pinning you down and showering you with kisses and compliments, understanding you still needed to get things out of your system. “And how do they know about me?” he asked, wondering if he really wanted to know.

“They saw a few pictures when one of them stole my phone for the day,” you explained. “They tried to question me and thought I was lying when I said you attend Yuuei - it was the first time I’ve been pushed so hard against a wall.” His face contorted into an unreadable expression, rage filling his every fiber as he listened to you, but that was the cherry on top of everything else. “It hasn’t happened against since then, but they don’t miss the chance to tell me that I don’t deserve someone as good as you. Maybe they’re right.”

Grabbing your arm he pulled you towards him, wrapping his arms around your chubby form with strength enough to make you gasp. He closed his eyes and felt like crying, thinking that he wasn’t doing his job right as you were suffering because of him - he didn’t like feeling powerless when it came to something he wanted, and here these girls were the biggest obstacle between you and your happiness, something he needed to see you experiencing through every moment of your life. “Don’t ever say that again,” Katsuki almost hissed in your ear, and he noticed the hair on your skin standing up. “Don’t you dare speak like that again. I’d give my all for you to understand just how beautiful you are; your curves are part of you and you can bet your ass you look amazing with them. If anyone tries to tell you otherwise let me know and I’ll have… a word with them myself.”

“But don’t you think you could be with someone who looked better with you as well?”

“You look great next to me (y/n),” he retorted as he pulled away, his hands still on your shoulders. His eyes burned straight through you and noticed you were completely serious in your words. “And I’m happy with you. That’s all the reassurement I need to know that I want you in my life - you’re more than I deserve, that’s why I’m so amazed at the fact that you’ve been able to stick with me for so long now. I’m so fucking happy it’s unreal, and it’s all thanks to you. I couldn’t care less about what you look like because to me you’re just the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

You seemed to think for a moment, maybe trying to see if he was lying, but soon you relaxed under his touch and leaned on his arm, a sigh escaping your lips. The both of you stood like that for a moment as silence took the room over and Katsuki felt his expression soften just by having close to him, wanting nothing more than just keep you away from whatever thing or person that could harm you in any way. You were strong and he knew it, but the need to protect you and make you feel cherished was just as big as your heart.

“How do you always manage to say just what I need to hear?” you said quietly.

He knew you all too well, would’ve been the easier answer. He wanted only to see you happy next to him and to kick your insecurities away from your heart, relieving you of all pain. It would’ve been the easiest answer. He just loved you too much as you were, was the hard one he hadn’t had the courage to admit.

“I guess I just want to try and make you feel comfortable with yourself the most I can,” he said instead, “I wouldn’t want my girl to feel down like that, especially when she’s pretty fucking hot already with her chubbiness.” You laughed for the first time in what felt like forever although it had only been half an hour, and he felt his heart jumping in his chest as he looked down at your form before bringing you close to him and lying down, your head hidden on the crook of his neck as he wrapped an arm around your waist - this time, you offered no resistance at all. “Now tell me babe,” he added, a plan starting to form in his mind and a smile on his lips. “This Saturday you have to go to school again, right?”

“Yeah, I have to take the classes until the midterms if I want to pass; why?”

He didn’t reply however, and he closed his eyes before he felt you looking up at him; if you could’ve guessed what he was thinking, he was sure you’d rush to try and stop him from doing anything you could consider reckless. Don’t worry love, he told himself, I’ll make sure no one says a single fucking bad thing about you again - those damn extras will learn not to mess with the one I love.