#i wish i actually expressed myself instead of bottling it up because everyone has their own problems

[yaomomvs]

TAKE OUR HAND

seijoh x manager!reader

in which aoba johsai vbc just wants you to take their hand, just as the many times they have reached for yours when they needed it

pls i’m sorry i just wrote this for comfort, in having a terrible week and so, i just really need my seijoh boys to comfort me even if it’s just in my head and just so you know, and as i’ve been trying to convince myself, things always get better

tuesday, [15:56 pm]

“nice kill yahaba senpai!” kindaichi congratulates his upperclassman.

his voice makes you react, it scared you. still holding your pen and the notebook you always carry around even on normal practice days, your hand threatens you in the most scary way possible.

fuck no, just... breathe.

you are quick to leave aside the notes, and so, you look around to the boys, who just after the coach’s whistle sounds they are quick to approach your spot.

you take the water bottles as quickly as you can.

“oh y/n-san, i know we are irresistible but you can’t just slack off admiring us!” makki teases you laughing.

“if our dear manager is admiring someone is obviously me” oikawa says, before taking a sip of his bottle, slightly making you blush even more.

“i don’t think she likes idiots who still watch youtube conspiracy videos at 3am”

“iwa!”

“weren’t you the one with a secret obsession for romance manga, iwaizumi?” it’s mattsun time to expose his friend. iwai mi doesn’t hesitate and he runs directly to matsukawa, while kunimi brings out his phone to start recording the chaos in the gym.

you don’t listen.

your head hurts, and then, you once again feel this weird thing in you stomach. you have been feeling like this for the past week, and you try to ignore it . but sometimes, you just want the world to stop.

you can’-

“y/n senpai?” watari calls your name, and you notice his furrowed brows looking at you, worried. you blink and correct your posture. you had just zooned out. “is everything ok?”

“ah yes watari kun!” you force your self to sound relaxed because you feel the sudden gaze of the entire team “i was just thinking in a smart way to insult oikawa, but i’m worried he won’t understand tho”

“hey! you said i was your favorite”

you fake laugh once again assuring everyone that you were just fine. the day goes on, and somehow is becomes more difficult to just stay down not worrying about anything.

and they notice.

you don’t walk home with the guys today. instead you run to the bus not before excusing yourself with an ‘urgent family thing’

“just please don’t let makki eat so much ramen today!” you giggle as you run to the bus “i’m not in the mood to dealing with diarrea!”

“that was a secret between us darling!” the pink haired guy screams cheeks blushing.

and maybe you were just too distracted, but before you face them away some of them notice how quick your smile fades.

“you know guys” yahaba is quick to say “call me crazy but, why did she lie?”

—

wednesday, [10:22 am]

when was the last time you actually enjoyed school? not practice, but school itself. seeing numbers everyday in the board that you don’t understand is frustrating. your throat hurts, there’s has been a not there since the begging of the day.

swallow it, y/n, dammit

you decided to take this class, don’t blame the world, blame yourself. isn’t it supposed to be simple? why isn’t it being simple? is that... 

"Square root of 57 is equal to Xo, miss" 

"alright!" 

it is not like it’s a race, you want to say. why was the teacher obsessed with speed?, it’s unfair. your time is not the same as that of others. 

you drop the pencil and you recline in your chair, why couldn’t you do operations and analysis as fast as they could? you take a look around and the eyes of others look frightening. you see ambition, you see security, you see admiration.

the bell rings and you just want to run, and well in a way you end up doing it. leaving your homeroom, you tell your friends that for today you want to be alone, the halls of aoba johsai are big, for your fortune or misfortune. you go to the vending machine and when your drink falls, the minimum noise makes you startle, lately it’s like that, small noises or actions affect you way too much.

and iwaizumi notices it.

you don’t make a single move, it’s just the cold drink resting on your hands. and before iwaizumi could stop mattsun, he was already putting his hand on your shoulder.

“y/n!”

the orange juice spills and once again fear takes hold of you.

you see them both, you’re not stupid and you know hajime stares at you weirdly, and now mattsun, you hide your fear it a bit worse than yesterday, but you do anyways.

"someday, Matsukawa-san, YOU’RE GOING TO KILL ME! and what will you do without me?" you try to say cheerful, wanting to take away the suspicion, for a moment it works.

"flunk history, that leads me to..." 

"no, sweeheart, i won’t give you my homework" 

you walk and both guys follow you, one faster than another, very naive of the situation. "I begin to believe you hate me," says Mattsun, as the three sit on a bench near the school cafeteria casually encountering kunimi who quickly joins you, patting the folds of your skirt as you sit down, you rest on the table and admire his needy expression and as the tantrum of mattsun grows.

minutes go by, your chest pain grows, but somehow you know how to let it go.

 with your hands supporting your face, lunch passes between you and kunimi, you try to talk, you really try. 

but still, your eyes just glow, and kunimi notices how it’s not the glow you always have.

—

thursday [12:03]

your head is spinning, you can feel the cold sweat. will this be the time? why do you feel so small? why can’t you say it?

it’s familiar, you recognize this feeling, an ocean, you’re floating, you know you can swim, but, you’re in the middle of nowhere, you look down. Out of nowhere the intimidating depth of the ocean is beneath you. And then, you sink. You feel like you’re drowning, you feel like you’re fighting the tide, but you just can’t do it.

i just need...

no, it’s not time yet, it’s still training. the boys... you’re the one who should take care of them, you’re the one who has to be be fine. they had no time to lose, they had a goal and for the moment that was the most important thing.

On that bench, your gaze is absent, you know it is so.

and through the window that overlooks your classroom, oikawa notices it too

“y/n...” he mumbled.

of course he’d noticed. at first it was not so clear, but now he remembers.

when kindaichi pinned your dark circles to him, while admiring you by fitting volleyballs in a way not of your own.

makki watches oikawa from your side, you don’t even know the pink-haired guy is there, unaware that he’s sitting next to you. but he notices. he’s been noticing for days that your eyes are threatening to close in the middle of class.

hanamaki catches your attention and instantly that mask you’ve been wearing for weeks appears again.

"hanamaki, i’m fine"

it doesn’t convince them. they both look out the window and nod.

oikawa notices, and god, he wished he had no reason to.

—

friday [14:00 pm]

breathe.

please just... breathe.

you’re fed up. the feeling of guilt and discomfort is still there, can’t you be calm? people don’t need to know, but why do you want to shout it?

the dressing room is alone, the girls from the soccer team are out and it’s your only chance.

the team needs you, hold on a little.

your footsteps are heard in the hallway once again, a symphony you’re tired of listening to.

your chest hurts, your heart is aching, but you just need a little more. hands are shaking, the cold in your body, you need to stop.

you have to make them stop.

but when you walk into the gym, even with your eyes down, all you feel is warm. and it’s because, the boys were standing, aligned begging for you.

no, they beg for your sake.

and everything stops.

one hand from him on your neck, and one hand around your shoulders.

because oikawa, without warning, now has you in his arms.

and then, only then, you break.

tears don’t take long to come out, along with desperate sobs. your legs fail and out of nowhere, you and oikawa are on your knees.

with an alarmed look, the whole club runs towards both, surrounding you as sensibly as possible.

"i’m sorry, i’m sorry I’M SORRY" is heard from you, between hiccups.

“love, listen...” iwaizumi approaches you,somehow he managed to catch up with you, somehow he managed to hold your hand.

"i promise i didn’t want to, but i can’t, i can’t anymore, why can’t i? i try and i try and i keep trying but it’s never enough! IM TIRED OF SEEING SOMETHING AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PROCESS IT LIKE THE OTHERS. I’M TIREDD OF NEVER FULFILLING WHAT I SHOULD”

yahaba’s heart aches, and just as most of the team, is shocked.

your hands, oh your adorable hands, those hands that bandage his in the middle of an important game, he sees them shaking horribly between iwaizumi’s.

“AND I’M SCARED, WHAT IF I LOSE YOU BECAUSE OF THAT BECAUSE OF ME? BECAUSE OF HOW I AM I-“

watari is quick to place your hair gently behind your ear, a kunimi covers you with his jacket.

“I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND I DONT RECOGNIZE MYSELF” you lower your voice, its cracked now “oikawa I don’t recognize myself, I want to be me again" you whisper, and a knot appears in the captain’s throat, and he puts a hand on your cheek "please... just let me be me again" your throat burns, your eyes get redder.

the gym goes silent, your words still echoing in everyone’s head.

“why didn’t you-“

“i just couldn’t” you blame yourself cutting oikawa off “look at us! we are waisting time on me when we should be- i’m the one who has to- im you support not-“

“hey hey, love...” iwaizumi whispers his voice is filled with sweetness, letting you sit correctly and softly rubbing his thumb in your hands “how many times have you been there for us? y/n your hand is always there”

“that’s true” kyotani says, finally saying something, emotions overwhelmed him a lot, but he genuinely wanted to help you.

“there’s something about you, there’s light” kindaichi follows up.

“no matter where, or how bad we are, somehow you always are helping us stand up” mattsun also tries to carefully approach you, he wants nothing more for you to feel safe.

and oikawa’s arms were still around you. he never stopped.

“we have reached your hand so many times, so now it’s time for you to please take ours” oikawa holds you face, and you see the sincerity and kindness behind his brown eyes, it feels like home.

mattsun does a sign asking the coach for a day off, both of them smile tenderly at you and give the green flag. iwa and makki are next to hold you carefully helping you stand up. they help you stop shaking but it’s mad dog the one who wipes your tears away with a tissue watari handled him. still not knowing if he did it the right way. you still feel kunimi’s scent. you still see kindaichi holding your school bag making sure nothing is missing. yahaba is the one bringing you water. and oikawa still refuses to let you go.

all of them feel like home.

“thank you”

and that’s how you know everything is going to feel fine.

because this club was yours and you were theirs.

this was home.

[tpwkxxangel]

Is this the real life? pt. 4

**not my photo**

my masterpost; fic masterlist; part 1; part2; part 3

[warnings: alcohol consumption, language, angst?]

Screaming, crying, throwing up. Multitasking if you will.

That’s all I’ve wanted to do for the past 24 hours. I’ve been going through the motions of life trying to hold myself together instead of going into a fangirl meltdown. Since I read Harry’s message, my brain has gone blanks.

@/Harry_Styles: Hey Y/N! I was just wanting to check in and see how you were doing after the show last night? -H

Such simple words that caused my brain to malfunction.

He knows I exist. I know that’s so stupid of a statement to finally absorb when I literally held a conversation with him, but how am I expected to function now that he knows I exist?

What makes matters worse, is that I haven’t even told the group chat. I can’t just shoot a text saying ‘Hey! My day’s been great. The meeting went well, I got an extra set of those cool detachable erasers ... oh and Harry DM’ed me on Twitter.’

That would not go over well at all. Luckily we have our weekly zoom session tonight so I can discuss the knowledge of my existence with them face to face.

Now what makes me nervous is the fact that I’ve left him on read for more than 24 hours now. What if he doesn’t want to talk to me now? What if I took too long and he forgot about me? What if--

I physically shake myself from my thoughts. My friends will know what to do. I pop the bottle of wine open and grab the bottle and a glass before making my way to my room. We have our ‘Weekly Wine Night’ as Dove calls it.

I pull up the zoom app on my laptop before starting the meeting and sending everyone the link. It usually takes them a few minutes to join, so I pour myself a hefty amount of wine in the glass before taking a leisurely sip.

“Hey bitches! Who’s ready to get fucked up?” Rachel raises her own glass of pink wine to the camera as everyone pops up.

We all laugh at her antics. She’s often the first one to pop the bottle and last to put it down. A party animal through and through and we couldn’t love her more.

“Ugh, can I go first this week? I have to tell you guys about the customer that I had to deal with on Wednesday,” Katie rolls her eyes, “It was like a wild Karen entered the building and I was not having it!”

She proceeds to tell us about a woman who entered her arts and crafts store to pick up an order, but wouldn’t leave once she received it. She tried to get a refund and store credit when she threw a fit over nothing.

We all laugh and talk about other stories of our week, some about people from high school who were blasting their lives all over Facebook.

For the first time since his message, I actually feel somewhat centered. We all met about two years ago. We were all placed into a group chat with a very very controlling fan. She branded herself as the ‘leader’ of our group when we were all trying to have fun on Twitter. When Harry started to promote his new album, the fans went crazy with new theories about the tracklist and things. She stole all our ideas and tweeted them as her own. It was just a very toxic environment, so we were sure to move chats and block her from all platforms.

“Anything interesting on your end, Y/N?” Dove asks noticing my far off expression.

“Um,” I take another sip of wine hoping to ease the words that come next, “I received an interesting DM yesterday.”

“Was it from that account that got suspended and is trying to get their ratio back using their back up account again?” Sofie rolls her eyes.

I laugh, because I did get one of those yesterday too, “No, no, um, this one was from Harry.”

Everyone quiets down. I think they are waiting for me to say ‘just kidding’ or ‘gotcha’ but I figured I might as well tell them now before I ignore Harry anymore.

“You’re joking right?” Katie asks.

I shake my head pulling up the chat to show them. “I low-key wish I was, but” I hold up my phone and show them the screen.

It’s like proof was all they needed to unfreeze.

“Y/N! STOP IT RIGHT NOW! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US?” Dove shouts into the screen.

I hold my hands up in defense. “I didn’t know how to handle it! I’ve been in love with this man since I was like 13 and now, he’s messaging me over Twitter and not remaining the fictional character in my head! What am I supposed to respond?” I pout in defense.

Rachel rolls her eyes, “What’s the real reason?”

Ugh. Leave it to your friends to see through your pretenses.

I look down for a moment at the intimidating message. “It should be simple right?” I look back up at my quiet friends with a fake smile. “I’m a fan of his who has followed his every movement throughout the years. I’ve built up an immunity to his surprises, so why is it so hard to believe he would want to check up on me? Why would he give me the time of day after everything was done with back at that stadium?” I shrug with a self-deprecating laugh.

“Okay first off, you are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met and he should feel lucky to even talk to you,” Dove says calmly, “Secondly, this is very much real, and you have a chance to talk to him.

“Yeah,” Katie tags on, “He wouldn’t have sent you that message if he truly didn’t want to hear back from you.”

“Oh my gosh! Do you think he was looking on stan twitter hoping they would find your user?” Rachel asks.

“That sounds a little far fetched,” Sofie says unsure.

“Oh I’m pretty sure he has a stan account floating around somewhere. He knew we measure his life according to his hair length,” I roll my eyes at the memory. I take another sip of wine and look up at the ceiling before sighing. “I’m gonna message him.”

A round of cheers sounds while I think of a reasonable response. How the heck to I do this?

@/yourusername: Hi Harry! I’m doing well. I flew back home yesterday, so I wasn’t able to get back to you sooner. The post concert depression is hitting, but I’m super excited to see you next week. Hope you’re doing well!

“There. I sent something,” I lift the phone up to show them before putting it face down on my desk, “He’s probably doing singer things you know. Like I probably won’t hear back from him anytime soon. Maybe he didn’t even notice I didn’t message back right aw--”

The sound of a tweeting bird interrupts me. We all look at each other wide eyed.

“Y/N?” Katie quietly whispers, “Who was that?”

Sofie’s face breaks out into a shit-eating grin, “Yeah, Y/N, who just DM’ed you?”

I shake my head, eyes still blown wide in slight panic, “I’m too scared to look.”

“Don’t be a baby! You already kept them man waiting for 24 full hours!” Rachel laughs.

I finally relent and pull up the chat.

@/Harry_Styles: I’m so glad to hear you’re back home safe. I was a little worried about leaving you at the stadium that night. What show will you be at next week?

I read aloud for my friends. It was almost like he was waiting on my message.

“He’s totally trying to spark conversation with you,” Rachel says.

“Shut up. This is not a rom com,” I sigh.

“What are you gonna say back?” Dove asks.

“Yeah, I think you should say--” Sofie is cut off by Katie clearing her throat.

“Listen. Why don’t we not crowd her. Let’s continue our wine night and she can talk to us if she really wants our help.”

I send her an appreciative smile. It’s almost like she read my mind. I think just having them here is already helping me gain control on my thoughts. Emotional support is what I needed.

They all fall into easy conversations again, but I can tell they are all keeping an eye on me.

@/yourusername: I’ll be in Nashville for both shows! I’ve always wanted to go, so I’m flying in a little early to explore a bit.

@/Harry_Styles: Nashville is super fun! It’s one of my favorite places to stop on tour!

We go on like this for a few minutes. He tells me about some of the cool places he’s seen in Nashville and giving some tips on where to get the best vintage thrifting done.

I finish my second glass of wine while waiting on his next response to come in. This is surprisingly easy. I thought talking to him would be more difficult but he’s honestly down to earth. It doesn't feel like I'm messaging my crush-to-end-all-crushes. The wine is probably helping a bit too. Might as well start on a third one. I’ll just work from home tomorrow.

It takes Harry a little longer to respond, so I tune back into my friends. Dove is telling an animated story about her dog who my phone chimes again.

“Guys!” I nearly throw my phone across the room when I read the message.

“What’s up?” Dove asks taking in the pure shock written on my face.

I read them the message Harry just sent.

@/Harry_Styles: They have a really cool rooftop bar that you should check out. Let me know when you fly in and I could probably show you if our schedules match up?

“Correct me if I’m wrong but that just sounds like Harry Styles just asked to take me to a rooftop bar next week.”

tag list: @harry-is-my-sunflower @gucci-hazza @sunshinetemptress9 @damnasstyles @msolbesg @hi-yekaterina @imaginesofdreams @multiplums @gxldenxash @infinitely-yellow @hoseokjin194​ @onecrazydirectioner​

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Sommelier (Hannigram x Female!Reader) pt. 5

More people said yes to Hannigram, which is good because Will is already involved in the plot and it would be awkward to have him just disappear. Also, I had someone request a Hannigram x reader in my asks. Apologies to the one person who voted no; I promise there will be more solo Hannibal x reader content in the future.

Hannibal decides to that y/n could do with some extra protection, but doesn’t anticipate what she has to tell him.

I have no idea how to make a proper tag list but @deadman-inc-bikeshop and @dovahdokren here you go 

Trigger warnings: discussions of alcohol, victim blaming

“When I saw his face, I immediately knew he had never once experienced the touch of his own hand, let alone that of a woman.” Charissa read out loud to everyone on staff. “Or, that he was buried so deep in the closet he found Narnia, but those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.” 

It was expected to be a slow night, as was normal for an ordinary Tuesday. On nights like those, you could get away with more, like reading a tabloid article out loud for everyone to hear. 

“I can’t believe [F/N] actually went public.” One of the new busboys commented. “What an absolute madlad.”  

“Did you just unironically use reddit terminology in an actual conversation?” You narrowed your eyes at the kid. 

“[F/N], you are making a very dangerous enemy.” An older waitress said, cryptically, from the corner of the room. 

“Who, Jason?” You gestured to the busboy. “What’s he gonna do? Make me cringe myself to death?” 

“You know that’s not who I mean.” She frowned. “I’m talking about Chase Mulvaney.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” You shook your head. “He’s not stupid enough to come back here.” 

Charissa made a noise that denoted her doubt. “I dunno, [F/N]. You’d have to be pretty stupid to start stabbing people at a crowded restaurant in broad daylight.” 

“But he was smart enough to get away, right?” Jason asked. “That’s gotta count for something!” 

You and Charissa exchanged glances. Neither of you had the emotional bandwidth to explain white privilege again. Instead, you just humored him. 

“Yeah.” Charissa lied. “He was smart enough to get away, meaning he probably knows better than to come back.”

"You're kidding yourself." A third waitress, who's name you couldn't seem to place, added. "People always say that killers are these galaxy-brained superhumans, but they're not. Mulvaney believes he's divinely ordained, so any thought that pops into his coked-out head is a sign from god."

And so shattered your thin firmament of denial. You made a point to never learn this person's name just out of spite.

“Oh, shit.” You said, trying to hide your genuine fear with a sarcastic voice. “Maybe he is coming back for me.” 

Charissa glared at the two other waitresses, equally pissed at them for scaring you.

"And it'll be your own fault for provoking him with that article." The older waitress said.

"Holy victim-blaming, batman." You mumbled.

“Alright, listen up, y’all.” Matthew announced to the group. “In ten minutes we open for dinner. Remember, if you want to switch shifts with another person, you have to run it by me first. I don’t want to see anybody but [F/N] at the bar tonight, capiche?”

“Yessir.” You saluted him and made your way over to the bar. You’d been doling out your bartending shifts left and right to avoid even the possibility of being cornered by another Freddie Lounds. You were only prolonging the inevitable, though. Eventually, you needed to return to the bar.

You passed the hostess's stand, where Charissa was stationed. Suddenly, you felt someone grab at your arm.

"Fucking hell, dude?!" You flinched violently and your heart rate jumped. "Don't do that!"

"Shit, sorry!" Charissa looked immediately regretful. "But, look!"

You followed her gaze through the window where a fancy car was parked. He leaned against the door, adjusting the cuffs of his dress shirt.

Now your heart was beating fast for a completely different reason. You squeezed Charissa's hand, trying to keep a lid on your nervous excitement.

"I think your luck's starting to turn." She said in a sing-songy voice.

"Yeah, I bet he'll protect me from the Baltimore Butcher." You whispered, trying not to giggle like an elementary school girl.

"Oh, could you imagine those arms around you?" She sighed deeply, her hand firmly against her chest. "I would die."

"Not until he sinks his teeth into your neck." You smirked, gnashing your teeth together.

"I would let him." She rested her chin on her hand.

"Yeah, me too." You agreed.

"I would give anything to trade shifts with you." Charissa groaned.

"Well, you heard the boss." You shrugged, suddenly feeling much better about your assignment. "I gotta stay behind the bar."

"Oh, pobrecita." Charissa rolled her eyes. Underneath the stand, she put up her middle finger in your direction. "Suck a dick, [L/N]."

You walked backwards towards the bar, keeping your eyes on your friend. "That's the plan, baby."

You tried to make yourself look busy. You dared not look at him as he entered the restaurant.

He exchanged pleasantries with Charissa then took his seat at the bar. You pretended not to notice him right away, only to give you an extra second to compose yourself.

"Hi there." You greeted, knowing you'd feel stupid no matter what you said. "Er- good evening."

"[F/N] [L/N], I assume?" He asked.

Fuck, you thought. His voice was dark, low and made your insides tremble. Even though part of you knew he was going to know your name, it still felt so sensual passing his lips.

You realized you had waved to him with your bandaged hand. That's how he was about to identify you so quickly. "Yes, I am she. I mean- her. Me."

Way to go, dumbass. You thought. Now he knows you're nervous and he's going to wonder why.

“God, I need to stop wearing this damn thing.” You said, clearing your throat. “What can I get for you tonight?” 

He was quiet for a moment. "What do you recommend?"

"Well, that depends." You said, pulling your gaze from him and grabbing a few wine glasses down from a high shelf. It was the only way you could maintain your composure.

"On?"

"What you're having for dinner, for one." You said. "And whether or not you're a vulpine tabloid journalist trying to corner me into a dubiously ethical interview. That's also a factor."

"So that's how Miss Lounds wore you down?" He concluded. "With wine?"

You rested your elbows on the bar, filled with an intoxicating confidence. "She tried wine first. Then she tried to get me fired because she asked for chardonnay and I brought her chablis. And when that didn't work, she siphoned my gas."

"I wish I could say that was out of character for her." He looked at you, apologetically.

"I take it you've had your own run-ins with Freddie?" You smiled.

"She's tried to infiltrate my practice multiple times." He sighed. "She's entered my office under a fake name with a recording device in her purse."

"What a sick fuck." You said, before remembering you really weren't supposed to curse in front of customers. You covered your mouth. "Sorry."

The corners of his mouth turned up into an amused smile. "Don't apologize. You're right."

“So you’re a doctor?” You asked, hoping he wasn’t the type to be offended by questions. 

“I’m a psychiatrist.” He nodded. “I used to work as a surgeon, but I find the mind much more compelling.” 

"Seriously, though." You pushed yourself back to your feet. "What can I get for you?"

He eyed the wine menu and then looked back at you. "What is your favorite red?"

"My favorite red?" You placed your hand on your collarbones. "On a night like this, I enjoy a nice, dry Argentinean Malbec."

"In that case," he thumbed through the list once more. "I'll have a bottle of Cobos Chañares from 2016, please."

You smiled. You wouldn't mind taking a sip of that if he offered. "Right away."

You carefully pulled the solid black bottle from its crevice and placed it on the bar. You removed the plastic seal and reached for the corkscrew. The bottle opened with a satisfying pop, filling the air around you with the strong, complex and seemingly contradictory aromas.

You poured a bit of this criminally expensive wine into his glass. He smelled it, then swirled it for a moment before taking a sip.

"Redcurrants and vanilla," he began. "With floral notes that operate with the precision of interlocking gears in a clock. Everything in its place."

"So you're a sommelier and a poet?" You tilted your head and filled his glass. "I'll bet you make women swoon at every corner."

You never had the best grasp on flirting, but even you knew that line was awful.

“Are you flirting with me, Miss [L/N]?” He asked, clearly not too worried about the consequences and enjoying the flattery. “Or are you just trying to get a taste of this Malbec?” 

“Little bit of column A, little bit of column B.” You shrugged. “Though you are as handsome as everyone says, I’ve had my eyes on that wine for slightly longer.” 

You fought the urge to slap your hand over your mouth. You had just broken the cardinal rule of workplace gossip. Panic reverberated through your body as you tried to break down his unreadable expression. 

Once again, he just looked amused. “I’ve seen those lingering glances, the way you all whisper and giggle. It’s flattering.” 

You felt your cheeks growing hot. “...I see.” 

“If you tell me what they say about me, I’ll let you have a taste.” His eyes bored into yours. 

You paused, trying to decipher exactly what he was offering. Then it hit you. 

“Oh!” You interjected. “The wine.” 

“Yes, that’s what I meant.” He said. “Dare I ask where your mind went?” 

Your cheeks stung from all the uncomfortable smiling. “I’d really like to keep my job, thanks.” 

“Have you never heard of bartender-client confidentiality?” His voice lowered and his eyes found your lips. “Nothing we say tonight has to leave these four walls.” 

Your insides turned to jelly. He rested the wine glass in his hand and offered it to you. Your hands shaking, you cradled the glass like an 18th century French village prostitute being offered a mug of hot soup. You brought the glass to your lips, the strong, overwhelming smells assaulting your orifices.

You let the wine grace your tongue. You had taught yourself to overcome the sting of the alcohol and focus on the undertones. Your eyes rolled back in to your head and you let out a little noise of pleasure. 

“Christ on a bike, that’s decadent.” You said, gasping for air a little bit. You quickly passed the glass back to him before Matthew could see you. “Thank you.” 

“Now, indulge me.” He instructed, glancing at the fresh pink lipstick mark on his glass. “What do the lovely women of Terroir whisper while I’m just out of earshot?” 

You rested your elbows on the bar and leaned in close. “They say you’re a vampire.” 

Judging by his unchanging neutral expression, it clearly wasn’t the first time someone had made that connection. “Perhaps they’re on to something.” 

“One of our line cooks used to say you were the devil.” You informed him, hoping that was one he hadn’t heard before.

“Used to?” He raised his eyebrows. 

“Until Chase Mulvaney came around.” You instinctively ran your fingers over your bandages, as if to make sure they were still there. It was a nervous tick you’d developed anytime someone brought up that day. “He’s stopped talking about, like, anything having to do with his religion ever since.” 

“It takes a lot to get an evangelist to stop evangelizing.” He refilled his glass. “Do you think he lost his faith?” 

“I heard someone say in passing that it was because he and Chase Mulvaney went to the same church.” You whispered. “But I can’t verify that.” 

“I’d say it’s more likely than a regular customer being a vampire, wouldn’t you?” 

“I wouldn’t trust their word because they made a regular customer into a vampire.” You corrected, hoping he would overlook the fact that you were one of them. “Secrets may stay within these four walls, but they tend to bounce around. It’s only a matter of time before one escapes, and you’d better hope it’s not one of yours.” 

This man must have been an exceptional therapist, because, there you were, baring your soul to him after fifteen minutes and one sip of wine. Occasionally, you were pulled away from the conversation by another customer who had the audacity to also want a drink. But, very few people came to you with the sole intent of drinking on a Tuesday evening. You and the sommelier talked until closing time. 

“Thank you for a lovely evening, Miss [L/N].” He said pulling out his wallet. “You are as delightful in person as you are on paper.” 

“Thank you, but I never caught-” you said, but stopped yourself. “I mean, you never gave me your name.” 

He signed his name on the paper check, then pulled out a fifty and unceremoniously handed it to you. “Now why would you want to ruin the mystery?” 

“Nothing we say tonight has to leave these four walls, remember?” You grinned and crossed your arms. “Come on, I won’t tell anyone.” 

He took the customer copy of the receipt and scribbled something down on it. He the folded it in half and slid it in your direction as if it contained nuclear launch codes. 

“Join me for dinner someday.” He ordered. “I’ll supply the Malbec.” 

[anonymousfiction211]

A smutty oneshot, obviously about Loki. But I was thinking like, the reader has been having wet dreams and dirty thoughts ans Loki can secretly read her mind and he starts to like drop hints here and there and the reader is totally oblivious and then after some pivotal moment they do the nasty.

A/N: Thank you so much. Hope you like it :)

He laid you down on the sofa of his chamber. You moaned as he entered you slowly. Starting at a slow, teasing pace. He increased his pace, building up your orgasm. He grabbed your ankle and placed your leg over his shoulder. He growled as he bit in your ankle. Feeling the vibration through your leg to your core. You closed your eyes, savouring this feeling. The new ankle allowed him to go deeper inside of you, bringing you closer and closer. Your walls clenched around him. He pushed your leg aside and laid on top of you. Swallowing your moans with his own mouth. His tongue slid inside your mouth, circling your own tongue in a sensual kiss. You were almost there, you opened your eyes…

That’s when you saw the ceiling of your own room. You were in your own bed, alone. He wasn’t with you, it was just a dream. You sighed not again you thought. You noticed your increased heartrate, a slight sweat on your forehead and extremely wet underwear. It felt so real. I wished it were. You got out of bed and hopped into a cool shower, cleaning yourself up. You were living in the palace for three months now, because of your father’s job. Leaving you with not much to do. It was an extremely boring time, until you met him. He didn’t pay you much attention in the beginning, but some sort of friendship developed over the last month. What didn’t help was that you were extremely attractive to him. He was tall, with gorgeous green eyes you could drown in, a sharp jawline with high cheekbones and you loved his long black hair. You would expect him to be stoic and cold, but once you got to know him a little bit he was friendly and a bit of a flirt. Well, what do you expect from the God of Mischief?

It the first day of the weekend, so most of the servants and personnel would be gone. Something you had started to appreciate. It gave you a perfect excuse to search some entertainment and Loki always trained on Saturday. Once you put on your dress, you grabbed your book and made your way to the garden. The bench on the right side gave you a perfect view of the training ground. You sat down and started to read your book. Not much time passed before Loki and a guard emerged on the training grounds. When he saw you, he smiled and waved. You smiled back at him, hoping he wouldn’t notice the slight blush on your cheeks. He was wearing a very tight shirt, showing of his muscled chest and abs. What a shame that he trains in a shirt. He and the guard starting with some drills and you went back to ‘reading’ your book. As if you could ever focus with him moving so gracefully across the field. You watched him attacking the guard with his practice sword. You saw the muscles in his large hands holding the hilt ease and tense. God, what those hands could do to me. I bet he could lift me up easily, rip my dress, or hold me wrists together when he keeps kissing me. Teasing me by caressing my thighs, higher and higher…

The sound of your name snapped you out of your thoughts. Loki was standing right in front of you. “I asked if you enjoyed the show?” he smirked. He sat down beside you and took of his shirt. “It sure is hot today.” You did your best to stare forward, but couldn’t help but glance at his chest. “Yeah, you’re really good. How did you get so good?” you asked. “Well, these hands can do anything” he said with a wink. He put his shirt back on and went back to his training. You actually tried to read a chapter of your book, but looked up a lot to glance at Loki. Admiring him for afar, sometimes he noticed, and you would quickly put your nose back in your book. He had worked up a light sweat, making his shirt stick to his skin. As a result, you could see his abbs a lot better. Getting quite hot yourself you decided it would be a good idea to leave.

You got up from the bench and walked back to the palace. Reading the rest of your book in the library. Usually, you were in the library with Loki, both reading. He would be in the chair across from you. Sitting widespread with one hand holding his book and another on his thigh. Licking his lips sometimes and sometimes a finger to turn a page. You got up from your chair to get you favourite book. The book you wanted was a shelf to high. You stood on your toes when you felt him behind you. “Need any help, darling?” he asked in a husky voice. He put a hand on your hip and grabbed the book for you. You turned around, but he didn’t hand you the book. He instead dropped it and pulled you closer. “I’ve been waiting to do this all day” he growled. He pressed his lips against yours. You kissed passionately. He pushed you into the bookcase and grabbed one of your legs. He put it around his waist and pushed his hardened cock forward. You moaned when you felt it. His hand that holds your leg up was traveling higher on your thigh. It got to your ass and he squeezed it hard, making you squeak a little. He broke the kiss “you look so pretty in that dress, it’s been very distracting” he panted. You heard the library door open and were suddenly wide awake. Must have fallen asleep. You didn’t know the person that walked in and decided it was a good idea to go to your own chamber.

In the hallway you encountered Loki. “Any plans for dinner?” he asked you. “Not really” you replied. “Want to join me in my chambers tonight?” It wasn’t the first time he had invited you. The first time you were thrilled. But when you entered his room his brother and his brother’s friends were also there. That really was a disappointment. “Sure, who’s coming?” you asked. He smiled at you “Everyone’s away, it would just be the two of us” you felt your heart flutter and did your best to supress a wide grin. Alone in his chambers, maybe at dessert you spill some chocolate sauce on yourself. Loki would walk towards you and start licking the sauce from your skin… Suddenly you saw a green shimmer. Loki held out your favourite book to you. You looked questioningly at him. “You wanted to read it, right?” “Yeah, ehm.. I just don’t remind me telling anyone that?” He laughed “How else would I know?” You took the book. Alright, weird you thought. He grabbed your hand and kissed the back “See you at dinner”. Luckily, leaving before he could see your blushing.

You got yourself ready for dinner. You were surprised to see Loki had set up a table not far from his bed. His chamber was huge, with multiple rooms. Usually there would be servants plating and serving a large table in his living room. But there was a small round table, with two chairs across from each other. There was cutlery on the table and a candle. The whole thing felt very intimate. Loki immediately got up from his chair and put out the other chair for you. You talked and laughed a lot. Servants were serving several courses, everything was normal. Until Loki said “I’ll get desert myself”. He got back with two bowls of ice cream and a bottle of chocolate sauce. You thought back to your fantasy when Loki invited you to dinner. He put a bowl down for you and went to sit back down.

“I decided on chocolate sauce, since you had such a craving today” he smirked at you. “I didn’t tell you that?” you said unsure. I didn’t right? Or did I? How else would he know? “No, you didn’t” he replied. He started to eat his dessert. You took a spoon yourself, starting to think about it. These weird things happened a lot with Loki lately. He always seemed to know what you wanted. Like the chocolate sauce or your favourite book. But it was more than that he had taken of his shirt and talked about his hands right before you… thought about it. You started to panic, he has magic but to what extent? It’s not like he can actually read my mind right? No, but it would explain a lot… “I can, and darling, your thought and dreams have been very distracting” he suddenly said. You dropped your spoon and looked shocked at him. He knows. He grinned widely back at you.

You shot up from your seat and took a few steps back. Loki got up as well and walked towards you. “H- how long?” you began to stammer. “Long enough” he said with a smug face. He took a few more steps towards you and was standing really close. You started to blush hard, thinking of a way to get out of this situation. Loki put a finger under his chin and made you look up to him. There was a soft expression in his sparkling green eyes, which quickly changed to something more primitive. “Those fantasies of you are really entertaining, but for our first time I want you in my bed” he said huskily. Wait what? First time? Our? You didn’t have time to think anymore, because you felt Loki’s lips against your own. His lips were firm but soft. You closed your eyes and felt his tongue enter you. Swirling around your own tongue in a slow, sensual way. His hands slid down from your shoulders to your hips, pulling you closer to him. Your hands went under his shirt, caressing his chest and abs. You felt his muscles ease and tense under your touch. He broke the kiss, panting a little. “You have no idea what you’ve been doing to me this whole time”.  

His hands grabbed your legs and he lifted you up. Your legs wrapped around his waist. He walked you towards his bed and laid you down. He grabbed the top of your dress and ripped it in half. You gasped as the cool air touched your skin. You only wore underwear and you saw Loki’s eyes widen when he saw your uncovered breast. He took off his shirt and pants and crawled on top of you. He took one breast in his mouth, licking and biting your nipple. His hand was massaging your other breast. His mouth travelled upwards to your neck, playing with your earlobe. His hand was stroking your thighs. You felt yourself become wetter every moment. You started to caress his back, scratching it a little. Loki stopped, he hooked his fingers around your underwear and took them off. He opened your legs and put both of them over his shoulder. He started to kiss the inside of your thighs. Getting closer and closer to your clit. He finally put his tongue on your clit, making you moan his name loud. He started to flick it, giving it long slow licks alternating with hard short ones. When your hands went to his hair it spurred him on. He grabbed your thighs, pulling you closer to his mouth. Your orgasm was building up fast. “Loki… I’m going.. I” you started to moan. “Come for me” he said, the vibration against your clit sending you over the edge. He kept going until your moans were loud breaths and you started to squirm to get away. Silver tongue indeed, you thought.

You saw Loki smirking “I heard that”. He kissed his way upwards towards your mouth, making sure to taste every inch of you. “Turn around, ass up” he whispered. You did as he wanted. A hand started to squeeze your ass. His other hand was on his cock, giving it a few pumps. He teased the tip of his hardened cock at your entrance. “God, please take me” you begged. Loki entered you slowly eliciting a low moan from your lips. He started to pump in and out of you slowly. He felt so good inside of you. Filling you completely, you could feel every inch of you. You heard Loki starting to moan and he picked up the pace. His hand found your hair, he grabbed it and pulled it. You couldn’t help yourself as your moans kept escaping you. Your orgasm building up fast again. Maybe I’m moaning too much? you thought. Loki lowered his upper body to be pressed against your back. “Don’t you dare stop” he growled in your ear. You started to moan his name again, again and again. Loki was going faster and faster, almost reaching his own high. You walls clenched around him and your legs started to shake at the intensity of your second orgasm. Loki pumped a few more times before coming himself. He pulled out and laid exhausted next to you.

You went to the bathroom to clean yourself up. When you came back you saw Loki in his boxers, reading a book on his bed. He had laid out dark green short and a matching top for you. You put the clothes on. He closed his book and put it on the nightstand, meanwhile eying you. He bride smile formed on his face “You look really good in my colours”. You felt yourself blush. A hand snaked around your waist pulling you into the bed. Your back was pressed against his chest and his head was resting right above yours. He holds you close to him. “Out of curiosity, how long have you’ve been reading my thoughts and dreams?” you asked him. He chuckled “Ever since you saw me and thought I was extremely hot.” You thought back at all your fantasies and starting to get nervous. Loki must have sensed you tensing up. He kissed the top of your head “Don’t worry, you’re not the only one who’s been thinking about us. I’m really happy I finally get to hold you” he whispered. You felt him pulling you more closely. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

[mcufox123]

Table 5 (Chapter 6)

Summary: Wanda finally meets one of your closest friends. You are also overcome with emotions about your new relationship.

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety and anxiety attacks. Implications of smut

A/N: This was a hard chapter to write and read back. If you guys have any suggestions or comments please let me know!

Chapter1 Chapter2 Chapter3 Chapter 4 Chapter5

Your night went on and when it was time you lined up the food to bring to the Avengers. The servers helped you carry the food, and you were sure to grab Wanda’s food so you could place it in front of her. As you put it down you put your hand on her back and she leaned back into your touch.

“I hope everyone enjoys their meal here tonight! If there are any problems, please feel free to let me know!” you say as the group begins to dig into their food. You walk back to your station nervous that they wouldn’t like your food.

You were wrong when 15 minutes later Tony Stark meets your eyes and waves you over to the table.

“Yes sir? Is everything ok?” you ask nervously.

“Chef Y/N, dinner was unbelievable. My swordfish was cooked perfectly. I mean how do you do that? It was flakey and the flavors just danced in my mouth.” He gushed about his platter that was now completely clear of any food that had been on there.

“Dude my steak was so good too!” Sam continued the praise and you felt pride well up in your chest.

“Thank you! I’m only as good as my team, I’m sure you guys know how that goes.”

“Of course! You’re giving Wanda down there a run for her money. She cooks as well, pretty decently actually.” Tony said nodding to the girl down the table from him. You smiled because you knew what an amazing cook she was. You played along so nobody would suspect anything.

“Is that so? I will have to see for myself someday.” You see her laugh and you smile in return, loving the way her laugh sounds.

“Anytime you want Chef Y/N.” she said giving you a wink. The way she said your name sent a chill through your body.

“Seriously, thank you. And I will definitely be coming back here.” Tony said while shaking your hand.  You thanked him once more before finding their server and telling her that their meal was on you tonight. You chuckled to yourself a bit as you imagined their faces when you show up to movie night on Wednesday while walking back to where Bill was chilling behind the counter.

“So how did you land her?” Bill asked, nodding his head to the big table who were ordering dessert.

“Remember that night her and Vision came in and he proposed, and she said no and just sat there?” you remind him of the night all those months ago.

“Yes, and she sat there all night.” He continues, he doesn’t know the full story though.

“Well, after everyone left, I told her she could stay as long as she liked, and I started making dinner for myself. She came over and instead she insisted on finishing making my dinner. After that night she came as much as she could when the restaurant closed to make me dinner. We were friends for the first few months and then about a month ago I asked her to be my girlfriend and we’ve been dating ever since.” You fill him in on your relationship.

“Wait, so you let this lady cook at your station before you let me cook back here? That’s messed up I thought I was your best friend?” You looked at your friend and chuckled as he continued. “Why are you so scared then? She seems great.”

“Her job is scary, and I didn’t think about that till tonight. I mean what if something happens to her? How will I know? I can’t do anything to stop her or help her.” You say thinking about all the things that could happen to her running through your head.

“Y/N, it’s her job, just like cooking is your job. Also, everyone, not just superheroes, could get hurt at any point of the day. I could get hit by a car and die walking home tonight. We can’t focus on everything that could go wrong, focus on how happy you are instead.” You are shocked at how wise your friend is.

“Who are you and what did you do to Bill?” you ask giving him a serious expression. “For real though, thank you. That made me feel a lot better.”

“No problem. It’s what I’m here for. Serious question though, when can I meet her?” you take a minute to think about it.

“If you want to stick around, she’s coming back tonight.” he nods his head in excitement and the two of you clean up the kitchen. You see the avengers walk out of the restaurant and you give them a wave. The group walks down the sidewalk before Wanda says something to Steve and turns around to come back.

She walks in the restaurant and over to your station. She gives you a loving kiss and says, “See you tonight my love!” before she runs back out the doors to the team who are just standing there chatting not even paying attention to their missing teammate.

You watch her with a grin on your face. Bill claps you on the back as you go to the cupboard to grab a bottle of wine. Bill stands at the counter, and you decide to whip up some brownies for dinner tonight.

The time passes, the servers finish cleaning up and all of your staff besides Bill leaves. Your brownies are in the oven, and you go to the freezer to get your vanilla ice cream. When you come back you see Bill talking to Wanda by the counter.

You gently put the ice cream on the counter and sneak up behind Wanda to wrap her in a hug and kiss her cheek.

“Hi beautiful.” You say. Bill watches both of you with curious eyes.

“Hello my love.” She says back as she wraps her arms around your waist.

“Bill this is Wanda, Wanda this is Bill. He’s second in command here and my best friend since high school.” You tell her. She looks at you while your speaking loving the way you look after work.

“Thanks y/n! I already introduced myself but Wanda it’s so nice meeting you!” Bill says bringing the wine glass up to his lips. “Wanda was just telling me about the Airport battle in Germany.” Bill loved hearing about the Avengers so the fact that you were dating one was a fanboy moment for him.

As they continued to talk about numerous battles that the Avengers have fought and won, you felt yourself becoming more and more anxious. Bill talked you down earlier thinking about Wanda getting hurt but the more they talked about battles, the harder it was to be ok. Thinking about Wanda being hurt and not being able to be with you left you feeling lost. She was a very powerful person and probably a target for many people. What if she was seriously hurt? What if she had to go away for months? What if she died? The thoughts kept swarming your head and they wouldn’t stop.

You stayed silent for most of the conversation as you put the brownies on plates with ice cream on top for them to eat. You stayed by your station while they were by the counter talking. Zoning out in your thoughts you missed when Bill informed you both that he had to leave.

“Well, I have to head on out! Lots to do tonight before tomorrow. Wanda it was so nice meeting you though!” Bill says hugging Wanda and coming around to shake your hand. You stare at it for a second before shaking it.

“Bill it was so nice meeting you!” Wanda says eyeing you curiously because of your behavior. He grabs his things and walks out the back door with one last wave.

“How was your day babe?” She asks you once Bill leaves. You don’t know why but you start to feel very anxious being with her alone tonight. All of the words Natasha and Bill said still running through your mind. It’s like your brain is running a marathon and you can’t stop it.

“It was good.” You give your shortest reply to the question. It was starting to get difficult to breath or focus on anything.

“Are you ok?” she has concern clear on her face. You feel your chest tighten up more when you look at her. You see her face littered with cuts and bruises and you freeze. You don’t know how to help her or make the cuts better. She can tell something is wrong and she isn’t sure what to do.

“Y/n, honey, I’m here ok. Whatever you need.” She says as she walks towards you realizing that you are not ok. The closer she gets you can see the cuts becoming more prominent on her face and you start to hyperventilate.

“Hold me please?” You can’t even look at her as you ask but you feel arms wrap around you. The weight on your chest is heavy and you try and calm down but it’s difficult. Wanda runs her hands up and down your back as she tries to soothe you.

“It’s ok I’m here.” She reassures you. After ten minutes you feel yourself start to calm down. You know exactly why you feel this way, but it is hard for you to communicate it to her tonight. You have a troubled past that doesn’t reach the light too often. She continues to hold you until you pull away. You put a mask back on as you pretend that you are fine.

“Here let me clean up these plates.” You grab the dirty dishes and put them in the sink choosing to ignore what just happened. You do not want to dwell on it, and you know Wanda is going to ask questions.

“Do you want to talk about it? I’m here for you I’ll listen.” Wanda asks you to try to figure out your sudden outburst. You wish you could put into words what was happening, but you didn’t want to scare her away.

“Can we just forget about that please?” you walk towards her grabbing her hands. She can see that you aren’t going to budge so she agrees. You turn off the lights in the restaurant before the both of head to your loft. You get ready for bed, as does Wanda and when she comes out of the bathroom, she is quick to cuddle into your arms.

“Do you want to watch some TV?” you ask her, and you just feel her nod against your chest. You put on Modern Family, a mindless show.

“Hey y/n can we talk about something.” Wanda works up the courage to bring up a tough subject.

“Of course, my love.” She sits up so she can look at you while talking.

“Y/N, I know we haven’t really talked about it but I’m an avenger. My job is taxing and it’s constant. And I never know what is going to happen.” You could tell this conversation was hard for her to say, it was hard for her to hear but in this moment, you forget about all your worries as best you can to focus on her. You push all your unsaid feelings aside so you could try and help her through this. “If you can’t… if that isn’t ok you know the… the… unknown I understand.” She says tears welling up in her eyes. This broke you because although you have known this girl for 6 months you would do anything for her.

“I love you.” You reassure her, cupping her face in your hands. “I’m not going anywhere don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” she’s unsure at your words.

“Wanda, I have not been this sure of anything else in my life.” And it’s true. You don’t want to go anywhere, the part you’re not telling her is that you don’t want her to go anywhere either. You don’t want other people to have to need her like you do. She brightens every night when she comes to see you, and you don’t want to lose her.

You share a sweet kiss before she snuggles into you again. “Can I ask another question?”

You chuckle before you reply, “You can ask me as many questions as you want whenever you want.”

“What did Natasha say to you?” You tense up a bit, your anxiety bubbling in your body again as the question is heading back to the subject you just tried to shut down.

“Just saying she knew who I was and what we were.” You tell her half the truth hoping she didn’t feel you go stiff under her.

“Haha yeah I kind of told her about us today.” She chuckles nervously.

“That’s quite alright. I mean I’m happy to tell everyone I know I’m dating you.” You reassure her. “You are amazing. The way you care about people, the way you love the team, you’re not too bad of a cook either.” You start to sit up and she falls underneath of you. You are quick to climb on top of her, so your face is mere inches from her. “You are stunning, I could get lost in your eyes for forever. And you make me the happiest person I have ever been.” You look into her eyes, so she knows you mean every word.

Tears start to form in her eyes as she is overcome with emotion. She reaches up to your face keeping your eye contact. “You make me the happiest person I have ever been too. I am so lucky to have you to brighten up my days. After everything that I’ve been through with my family, with being experimented on, with losing my brother, with everything that happened between me and the avengers at first, I never thought I would feel this way about anyone.” You felt butterflies swirl in your stomach as you leaned down to kiss her.

“Are you sleepy?” You ask her hoping she said no. You wanted to spend the night wrapped up in each other’s arms.

“Not particularly. Are you?”  Her eyes grew a few shades darker as she looked in your eyes.

“Yeah, I’m super tired.” You say in a sarcastic tone while you roll your eyes. She squints her eyes at you.

“You better not be.” She expertly flipped you both over, so she was now on top of you. She leaned down to pepper your face in. Needless to say, you both end up barely getting sleep.

Taglist:

@b0mbdotc0m @yeetus-thyself @ineedafinghug @madamevirgo @when-wolves-howl @musicinourlips

[cherryatiny]

𝑊𝑎𝑟 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒 - 𝑃.𝑆𝐻

⩥𝑃𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑖𝑟𝑚𝑎𝑛!𝑃𝑎𝑟𝑘 𝑆𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑔ℎ𝑤𝑎 (𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧) 𝑥 𝑠𝑜𝑝𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑜 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑒𝑟!𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

⩥𝐺𝑒𝑛𝑟𝑒: 𝑠𝑚𝑢𝑡, 𝑎𝑛𝑔𝑠𝑡, 𝑛𝑜𝑛-𝑖𝑑𝑜𝑙 𝐴𝑈

⩥𝑊𝑜𝑟𝑑 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑡: 4,0𝑘

⩥𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑠𝑎𝑦: „𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑠ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑𝑛’𝑡 𝑡𝑜𝑢𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒’𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑡𝑦“, 𝑏𝑢𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑡𝑤𝑜 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑗𝑢𝑠𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡 𝑖𝑚𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑏𝑙𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑟𝑢𝑙𝑒…

⩥𝑊𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔: 𝑎𝑑𝑢𝑙𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑦 & 𝑖𝑛𝑓𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑦, 𝑓𝑎𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑖𝑎𝑔𝑒, 𝑗𝑒𝑎𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑦, 𝑐𝑙𝑖𝑡 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑦, 𝑒𝑥ℎ𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑖𝑠𝑚, 𝑜𝑟𝑎𝑙 (𝑓!𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑒𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔), 𝑢𝑛𝑝𝑟𝑜𝑡𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑒𝑥, 𝑠𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑑𝑖𝑟𝑡𝑦 𝑡𝑎𝑙𝑘

⩥𝐼𝑛𝑠𝑝𝑖𝑟𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛: 𝑆𝑜𝑜𝑗𝑖𝑛 & 𝐷𝑎𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑒 𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑚 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑃𝑒𝑛𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒: 𝑊𝑎𝑟 𝑖𝑛 𝑙𝑖𝑓𝑒

◤───────•~❉᯽❉~•───────◥

Being a resident of Hera Palace, a luxury apartment building with 100 floors in the middle of the city, had many advantages. Living around all those politicians, celebrities, businessmen and prominent doctors and lawyers, helped you develop a lot of precious contacts, that over time helped you become a part of the upper class and one of the world's best-known soprano singer and leading prima-donna all over the world. After a while of living there, you and your doctor husband Yoonchul became a part of the building's private club called Hera Club, consisting of four influential households that lived there. There was this little tradition that once a month, one of you hosted a dinner for the Hera Club at one of your places, where you could freely talk about anything regarding your life.

All of the Hera Club members were all right, a lawyer and his wife, a single-living woman with a rich overseas businessman husband, you and your husband, but the most influential family in the whole Hera Palace was a businessman Park Seonghwa, the owner of the building and basically half of Korea and his overly nice and naive wife.

Putting on the top layer of powder to prevent your base makeup from rubbing off, you finished doing your make-up for the night. The bloody shade of lipstick making your face stand out, even more, clasping your diamond ear-rings, spraying on the expensive perfume, you finished embellishing your look. And with that your husband stepped in, checking himself in the mirror, to make sure there are no imperfections, clearing his throat to remind you of his presence. Dressed in a lacy black shirt and leather black skirt, you tugged it down a bit, to accentuate your curves more.

„Wear something else. How many times must I tell you that's too drab? The host should look classy.“ the lack of interest hearable in your voice. „I have enough taste to pick out an outfit.“ As if. „Don't you think you went over the top, Y/N? It's just a dinner with people we see every day. You make such a huge fuss of things.“ you couldn't help but turn around, looking at him with an annoyed expression. „Are you criticizing my style too? Are you that displeased about your wife looking pretty?“ Smug smirk on his face as you basically spitted your words on him. „I don't like how it's just too much. How could you still expect to look pretty? You practically showered in perfume.“ Leaving the room, he left you standing there alone, ruining your mood for the night. Sighing and scoffing at his pathetic complaints you put on your heels to welcome the guests.

Anyone could see that your marriage with him wasn't good at all, you couldn't even look at or compliment each other, you didn't even have anything to talk about together, all you did was argue, the last time you two had sex together or even touched each other out of honest love, was about eight years ago, this marriage already hopeless. But until you take over the corporation your father run, you had to be married, your father won't let you take over the company if you two divorced, since getting a divorce was a humiliation for the whole family in his opinion.

Picking the best bottle of red wine out of the wine cabinet, you took it along with meals prepared for this night and placed it on the splendid black table. The present people already deep in a talk.

Sitting down next to your husband, you brushed the arm of his jacket, to show off that you were a caring wife to the others, a fake smile adorning your beautiful face. He only rolled his eyes at your pretentiousness and took a sip of his wine. Listening to the compliments to your food, you smiled and thanked politely. Listening to the snobby and drunk blabbering, you couldn't get more bored.

„What's taking the couple from penthouse so long?“ asked Mari, the single woman, you could feel your husband tensing, you knew how much he hated Seonghwa, but deep down you knew it wasn't hate but just jealousy at how successful he was. And with that, Seonghwa and his wife stepped in, with apologies for being late. Rolling your eyes at how everyone now paid attention to Seonghwa's beautiful wife, you rolled your eyes, taking a sip of the expensive champagne with strawberries.

„Oh Suryeon, it's nice that you're here, it's always so hard to see you, you should come over when we go shopping.“ Seonghwa cut his wife before she said anything, answering the request instead of her. „She always wants to go, but I'm the one who makes her stay. I want to keep her for myself.“ whines filled the room at how caring and romantic Seonghwa was.

„Y/N the food looks delicious, it must've been hard to prepare all this.“ you were looking at Seonghwa, dressed in a tapered suit, getting annoyed at how his hand was on top of his wife's lap, his wife's question bringing you back to the reality. „I couldn't serve just anything. I put in some extra care.“

„Actually there wasn't much to do. You know how delivery food is.“ Giving your husband, who has now ruined the mood with his nagging comments that were trying to humiliate you, a death glare.

After a while, when you were all done eating you took the dirty plates to the kitchen, putting them in a sink and trying to get yourself together and not express any annoyment and angriness. Your husband looking through the cabinet to find the best wine, you approached him with your arms crossed on your chest. „Are you having fun humiliating your wife in front of others? Do you feel better now?“

„Why don't you take it easy? Why are you acting so pretentious? Isn't it tiring?“ walking past you with two bottles of wine in his hands. „Do you wish for your wife to be belittled? I'm doing this for your sake...“

„Can you please be honest? All you think of is yourself. I'm just a mere accessory you use to decorate yourself. Suryeon is the type that truly cares for her husband. Look at how well Chairman Park's business is going.“ Taking one of the bottles from his hand, you smashed it on the floor out of angriness, the burgundy coloured liquor spilling and staining the floor. „Does complimenting other women make you feel any better?“ Turning around, to leave you were met with Seonghwa's wife standing in front of you, probably eavesdropping on your whole conversation. „Ah, I couldn't find the restroom...“ rolling your eyes, you walked past her, and leaving her with your husband.

As the night went on, your husband laughing and celebrating with the lawyer and his wife, along with the single-living lady - Mari, Seonghwa chatting and giggling with his wife and you sitting there alone, with a glass of red wine in your hand, eyeing Seonghwa occasionally. When Mari stood up, to go to the restroom, she almost fell on the ground, from the intoxication of alcohol, Seonghwa's wife immediately stood up to help her as the sweet soul she was, leaving the dining room.

Seonghwa right away knew, what you were doing, when you unbuttoned the top of your shirt, bending around to fill his empty glass while licking your lips seductively. Lips forming into a smirk on his handsome face, tilting his head, no doubt checking you out, your cleavage on display for him. You were indeed a very beautiful woman, exactly his type. „I'll pour you a glass Chairman Park.“ locking contact, with his shining eyes full of desire.

„Let me do the same.“ Standing up and coming to you, he stood by your side, pouring your glass with the sweet burgundy liquor. Clicking your glasses together, you held it on the level of your soft lips, about to drink from it when you 'accidentally' spilt the drink on your shoulder, staining your shirt. Everyone gasped, asking if you were okay. „Yes, I'm fine. I should get changed.“ mischievous smile in your face as you stood up

Looking at Seonghwa with a deep glare, to let him know that he's welcomed to follow you, you walked past him, brushing softly against his back. He was looking at you as you swung your hips teasingly on purpose.

Re-applying your lipstick, you stood in front of the mirror, in a beautiful black dress, that hugged your curves tightly, with a frilly on the shoulders. The dress still unzipped, because you needed help with zipping it, and you knew that Seonghwa would come and help you.

And as luck would have it, there he was, you could see him in the mirror, standing in all his beauty in that black suit that accentuated his broad shoulders and a smirk on that handsome face, black hair brushed into a side-part.

You brushed your hair into a side, tilting your head so that your hair doesn't get into the zipper. „Could you assist me?“ Walking to you, he stood behind you, looking at your face in the mirror. Feeling his cold fingertips caressing your back, made shivers run all around your body. His lips dangerously close to your neck, as you turned your head to look at him, your lips getting closer and closer. But with that, the annoying voice of his wife that was looking for him could be heard.

◤───────•~❉᯽❉~•───────◥

Weeks have passed since that night at your place, seeing Seonghwa only occasionally at the entrance-hall, you tried to forget about that night, instead of having to bother with constant jealous and annoying comments of your husband, that was trying to put him down. And you didn't want to miss the opportunity to impress Seonghwa, tonight was another Hera Club meeting, this time at his Penthouse.

Dressing in a beautiful curve-hugging black dress, that exposed your shoulders and had white flowers on it, you stepped into the Penthouse, being greeted with the housemaids that took care of the place. Coming into the living room where all the women of Hera Club were, praising your look. „Gosh, Y/N, you look like a different person. Did you always have such a beautiful neckline?" Smiling at the comments and answering politely, roaming your eyes all over the place, to see if Seonghwa was present, instead of landing your eyes on his wife. „I dressed up for the occasion. It's been such a long time since I came to the penthouse. Only our men used to come here. I hope you invite us, girls, more often from now on.“ Toasting with a glass of champagne with strawberries, you tasted the bitter but sweet drink, the door of Seonghwa's study room opening, the handsome man stepped out in all his glory.

Smirk finding its place on his face, when you two locked eye contact, you two were flirting with your glances, as his wife's phone buzzed, with a text message. Noticing Seonghwa's presence, telling him something urgent came up, she left, to finish some things at the company she ran. Not caring what it was about you sat on the couch next to the others, signalizing for Seonghwa to sit next to you.

As the night went on, the men celebrating the success of their investments, you rolled your eyes, annoyed at not having any attention, seeing that wide smile on your husband's face, disgust filled your veins.

Walking past Seonghwa who sat on the opposite of you, annoying you even more, you deciding to look around the place designed in a minimalistic style. Going up the stairs of the place, you saw how Seonghwa stood up in your peripheral vision.

The others not even noticing that the two of you left, amused by playing golf with balls made from checks. When you looked around the whole place, deciding to leave, you were met with Seonghwa standing in the hallway, waiting for you. Playing hard to get by walking past him, acting like you were not delighted by his presence at all, he grabbed your arm and turned you around, so you were facing him, pushing you against the cold wall and keeping you caged with his arms and lust-filled eyes. „Are you insane? What do you intend to do here?“

„Is there a reason we shouldn't be doing this? They can't see us anyway. I thought you'd like something like this, Ms. Y/L/N.“ his deep voice sending shivers down your spine as you bit your lips seductively. „Park Seonghwa. I didn't know you were such a bad man.“ letting out a small laugh, he smirked at your words, knowing well how much he affected you. „I don't think I can stop now.“

When he tried to close the gap between your lips slowly, you stopped him and pushed him away softly, hesistantly looking deeply into his eyes before pulling him closer by the back of his neck and kissing him hungrily. Your tongues slipping into each other's mouths hungrily. His arms caging your body and holding you by your waist. Breaking the kiss to catch your breath and kissing again, still pressed against the marble wall, his arm holding your leg, bending it a bit to wrap it around his tiny waist.

His fingers getting closer and closer to your core, throbbing from all the pent-up sexual tension. Rubbing your bud with his thumb through your lacy panties, you moaned into his mouth. „We shouldn't be doing this right now, they'll notice we are gone, sooner or later.“ you said as you broke the kiss, landing your leg back on the floor. Seonghwa slid his hand into the pocket of his trousers, obviously looking for something. Picking out a small leather sack, he held it in front of your eyes.

„If you are brave enough to continue, take this. I'm giving you a chance to back out when you still can before you do something you'll regret. The key in the sack can get you into any place in the Hera Palace. Meet me tomorrow at 7 pm on the 35th floor, next to the elevator, there's a glass door there, open it with this key and wait for me there if you want to continue with this...“

◤───────•~❉᯽❉~•───────◥

Stepping out of the elevator in a cream-coloured satin dress, the basic black high-heels with a strap on it accentuating your legs and making them look longer, a pearl necklace decorating your bare neck. Opening the door with the key Seonghwa gave you, you stepped into a room full of different kinds of plants, almost like a garden spot.

There was a couch with soft and puffy cushions, a glass table with two glasses and a bottle of wine in the middle, precisely covered by the surrounding plants. Seonghwa greeted you in the front, his arms wrapping around you, to bring you closer so he could kiss you. Taking your hand into his he motioned for you to sit down. The place was dark, the only light in the room was created by some candles and a small star-looking shining that entered the room through the glass wall, giving you a view of the city.

„I had no idea this place existed in Hera Palace. I'm surprised.“ Seonghwa chuckled, your amazement giving him a space to brag about the fortune he owns. „I participated in designing the building. Feel free to come here whenever you want.“

Kissing you again, his hand landed on your collarbones, wrapping around your neck, before tugging at the necklace you wore rather powerfully enough to disrupt it, the pearl beads falling on the floor and rolling all over the floor. Gasping, you immediately took your hand off his thigh and went to caress your neck, looking at him in shock. „What are you doing?“ His hand grabbed the box that was by his side, which you haven't noticed before.

Opening the box, you were met with a beautiful diamond necklace and earrings with a ruby in them. „I thought that this might look good on you. Aren't you sick of the necklace your stupid husband got you?“ Sighing you took the box into your hands. „What is this necklace supposed to mean? Don't tell me... you want me all to yourself.“ Chuckling at your words, his eyes moving off of you. „No, of course not.“

„I want this to be simple. Let's not put a leash on each other or be blingy. I want this to end the moment one of us decides to end it. What do you think?“ Tilting your head to the side, to get a better view of his handsome face your hand landed on the top of his muscular thigh. „It looks like we've just settled on our own set of rules.“ Landing his hand on your back, he pushed you down to the couch, getting on top of you, his long legs on both side of your body, lips connected.

His fingers rubbing circles along your hips, digging into it, not too harshly. Lips breaking the contact with yours, instead going lower, down to your neck, you gasped, when his teeth sunk into your neck softly. His hand going under your dress and caressing the inner side of your thigh. „Let me undress you, Y/N.“

His fingers untied the ribbon on top of your satin dress, sitting so he can pull them over your head, leaving you only in your lacy set, you picked for tonight. Seonghwa unbuttoned his white shirt, showing off his sculpted chest and stomach. Undoing his belt, he put it down on the table along with his trousers being left only in his briefs.

While he was undressing himself, you took off your bra and panties, too aroused to wait any longer, noticing it, he chuckled at your neediness and did the same with his briefs. Biting your bottom lip as you took in the size of his cock, well above average, for sure thicker than any you've ever had. Reaching out to touch it, his hand grabbed your wrist, stopping you from getting any closer to him, grabbing your other wrist as well, he pinned them both above your head, pushing you down to the couch. „Not so fast, princess, don't think I'd let you be in charge and touch me whenever you want. Now relax and don't make me tie those wrists.“

He released your wrists from his grip, lips attaching to your breasts, twirling his tongue around your nipples, sucking on them, pushing his knee between your legs, to part them. His lips went lower, brushing past your ribcage and stomach down to your thighs, he began kissing up to your inner thighs, his teeth grazing along the sensitive skin of your legs.

„You have no idea, what you do to me, I've been crazy about you, since the first time I saw you I couldn't keep my eyes off of you. I can't believe you're mine now, the most perfect woman... everything my wife isn't.“

Pushing your legs up, to put on his shoulders, gripping them firmly, his face dived into your glistening core. Your body jolting up, toes curling, from the sudden pleasure of Seonghwa's tongue licking up your folds, spreading them apart with his tongue. You couldn't even remember the last time someone had eaten you out, less so, eat you out this good. Your hips bucking up whenever his tongue brushed past your clit, sending waves of pleasure throughout your body. Your desperate whines and moans leaving your mouth, only made him smirk in satisfaction, your thighs closing around his head. You were at the brim of your climax, a knot forming and pulsing in your stomach.

„I bet your pathetic husband can't even unclip your bra, gosh, how could a woman as breath-taking as you, marry someone as deplorable.“ Your lewd moans intensified as you were about to spill on Seonghwa's mouth at any second. Although having you cum on his tongue, lap at your juices and lick you clean off your tasty juices sounded good, he would rather have you cum from the godly work of his hips, snapping against your sweet spot. Detaching himself from your core as he broke the high of finally having your anticipated orgasm, you haven't felt in years. You whined, looking at him in disbelief, scoffing him. „What is it darling? Don't give me that bitter look.“

He slid his tip along your folds, lubricating himself with your wetness, your legs wrapped around his tiny waist, he propped himself in front of your clenching hole. Pushing himself into you, you both hissed, and spewed at the feeling. „Fuck, he hasn't fucked you in a long time, right? Ah, you're so fucking tight, clenching around me, you're taking me so well, that I don't think I'll be able to even move.“ You groaned in agreement to his statements, trying to stabilise your breathing and get used to the stretching feeling. „Ah, y-you can move now.“ Your legs were shaking from only the feeling of his dick inside you.

Seonghwa set a rather mellow and tame pace at the beginning, however after a while, pushing into you deeper and rougher, with a great intensity of each thrust. „What would your husband say if he saw you like this? Fucking another man to satisfy the needs he can't satisfy?“ Angling his hips a bit more upwards to hit your sweet spot better, your arms wrapped around his back, nails digging harshly, probably about to leave tiny marks. Your moans getting caught in your throat as his hips slammed into you, your back arching at the feeling. Seonghwa couldn't explain how much confidence this intercourse gave him, when he slept with his wife, which did not happen often at all, all she did was lay back down and not react to him in any way, only trying to get through it and 'satisfy his needs'. But you were different, the way you were clenching, arching and moaning, he missed the euphoric feeling of having good sex with someone who enjoyed it and gave him the overwhelming pleasure he needed.

His thumb reached down to your bundle of nerves, massaging it in a circular motion, your body responding with trembling to the additional pleasure. „Ah, fuck Seonghwa, please keep doing that, I'm gonna cum soon!“ warning him your head fell back, mouth opening agape. „Really? You're gonna make a mess and milk my cock? Clench your velvety pussy around my girth? Then do that darling, cum all over me.“ His hips frantically plunged into your walls, delivering pleasure to you both. Clenching your hands into fists, you felt yourself get over the edge, spasming under his frame. Your body shook at the forgotten feeling of orgasm taking all over you. Grunts leaving Seonghwa's lips as he spilt his seed into your desperate cunt, you both riding out your orgasms.

His breath steadied as he sat at the opposite side of the couch, leaving you laying there to let you collect yourself. „It was visible by how needy you were, that your sex life with your stupid husband must be awful, but I just hope he'd go down on you, so he could see my cum dripping out of you. See how it is when a real man fucks a woman.“ Brushing your hair with your fingers, to not look that ruffled, licking your fingertips to clean your chin off the smudged lipstick, you saw him already half-dressed, you did the same, his lips attaching to yours yet again, biting on your bottom lip.

„I'm sure you know that there's a gala next week, to celebrate the Hera Palace's first anniversary. I hope you wear that necklace I gave you, but don't dress too gorgeously, which might be problematic, since you're gorgeous in everything, because I don't think I'll be able to hold back, even in front of my wife and your husband, on the other hand, at least they'll know, who this beautiful woman belongs to from now on.“

[aestheticfangirl]

WE WILL MEET AGAIN ♡

{ Wonwooxreader }

~fluff , angst , best friends , hidden feelings

Word count : 3k

Trope : best friend au

[Y/N POV]

“Yah Mingyu yahhhhhhh, stop doing that or else I would kick your ass I swear”, I shouted from the top of my lungs.

“You can stop me if you can but I know you can’t”, Mingyu replied and then started running.

I was running behind him, breathless. I stopped and stood when Wonwoo came and handed me a bottle of water.

“You both should stop running and rest or else you guys will get tired and then I will be the one to suffer to drag you both to your respective houses”, he spoke and took me by my arm and made me sit. “Yah Kim Mingyu, you too come and sit”, he shouted at him. 

And then Mingyu returned. It was our daily habit since high school that I would mess up and he will help me. Wonwoo and I were best friends since 8th grade and then Wonwoo met Mingyu in college and they were best friends. He introduced me to Mingyu and now we three are best friends. Mingyu and I always create problems and Wonwoo always helps us. He is always an angel.

We three then sat down in silence for a few minutes and then left for our houses. Wonwoo came to drop me off and then he too left. I feel blessed always to have him.  When I had my first break up he was there by my side. Whenever I face any problems he comes to me to help. He never expresses everything openly but he does care about me the most and also he protects me. I just wish we won’t part ever.

[A few days later]

I don’t know why it aches so much. I had dated some people before too but this time it hurts so much. I can’t understand why he used me and left. I was crying since like three hours. I was dating this guy since 6 months but I found out today that he was cheating on me. I never said about him to Wonwoo and Mingyu because he said to me to keep this a secret. I don’t know whom to call. It feels so bad right now.

My phone lightened up and I saw Wonwoo was calling. I gasped if he will see me crying like this then he will freak out seriously. I wiped up my tears and drank water and then I picked up my phone.

“Hello”, I said managing my tone.

“Why is your voice so heavy?” he enquired. I don’t think I can hide it from him.

I explained him everything that happened. How I fell for the wrong guy and how that guy used me and now he threw me away. When I completed telling him everything I could understand from his voice how angry he was yet he maintained his calm and talked to me. That night we talked up to 3 in the morning until I fell asleep.

The next day when we met he didn’t ask me anything rather all he did was made me laugh the entire time and my heart felt a lot better. Till a few days all we did was some stupid and random things and met our other friends and hung out.

[A week later]

“How much long shall we wait?”, Mingyu asked irritated.

We have been waiting for Wonwoo for the past one hour because he called us here saying there is something important he wanted to tell us.

And finally Wonwoo came with a girl. Me and Mingyu exchanged glances confused.

Wonwoo came and spoke “hey guys, I am sorry the traffic was horrible”.

“hie and it’s fine but why did you call us here”, I said looking at the him and then the girl. I have to admit she is pretty.

“And Wonwoo who is she?” Mingyu asked.

And then pulled her closer holding her from her waist. Then he continued, “oh yeah about her only I called you guys here”, he said “actually she is my girlfriend, jihyo”.

Jihyo spoke up finally, “hi , I heard a lot about you guys” and then she shook my hands.

“ What girlfriend ?” Mingyu literally shouted in my ears. “Gyu I heard that no need to scream”, I spoke and everyone laughed.

“Umm it’s been a month since we started talking and a week since we are going out”, Wonwoo replied and then looked at me and said, “so many things were happening with y/n so I decided to postpone this announcement”. He smiled.

“I am so happy for you guys”, I replied and smiled. But something felt weird which was difficult to understand for myself too. I didn’t say anything. We all then went to eat ice cream as Mingyu had lots of questions. All the time I was watching Wonwoo and realized he never was this happy like he is now. I guess it’s good he found someone. 

[ Time skip ] 

A few weeks have gone by and a lot of things have changed. After Wonwoo getting in that relationship he is spending less time with us. It is kind of weird. And I feel a bit sad because of this fact. I really miss him but I can’t even say him this or it might sound weird.

Finally today Wonwoo was free and decided to spend time with me and I had to buy some books so we decided to go to book shopping together. When I reached my building’s gate he was standing there. He was wearing a simple black t –shirt and blue jeans. I never realized Wonwoo is this good looking. I always felt Mingyu is handsome but never thought of Wonwoo that way. I blushed, what’s wrong with me. I rushed to him.

“Hi , you could have called me if you reached here early I was ready already”, I said.

“It’s okay I was lost in thoughts anyway, let’s go now”, he replied.

We reached the bookstore and I picked up some of the books I wanted to read and then we decided to have lunch together. It was a long while since we spent some time together. But I don’t know this time it feels weird. I feel lighter and I blush a lot. I never found him this attractive. I shook my stupid thoughts away. He was my best friend and also he has a girlfriend. Jihyo is indeed lucky to have him.

“Umm Wonwoo , how is Jihyo ?” I asked, not that I was curious I just wanted to know.

“ I don’t know , maybe okay”, he replied and continued eating.

I was confused by his statement, I replied, “what, why don’t you know? She is your girlfriend.”  

“No more. We broke up”, he spoke calming and still focusing in his food.

Is he a robot or what who says about their break up like this? “WHAT? AND WHY HAVEN’T YOU SAID THIS EARLIER AND WHEN?”, I spoke mouth full of food.

“It’s been a while and first eat your food, you will get choked”, he looked at me and said with a straight face.

I don’t know why I was happy inside I know I shouldn’t be happy but something felt good inside. I hate these confusing emotions. I didn’t ask anything until I finished my food.

When we left the restaurant I asked, “why did you break up?”

“There was something”, he said and then pulled me to the side and we went to the edge. He always does this. I smiled looking at the ground.

“What was that something Wonwoo?” I said and stopped and looked at him. He too stopped and then sighed, “I have feelings for someone else which I realized after going with her”, and then he continued walking.

“Who”, I asked softly. I wanted to know who is this girl whom he loves this much.

 “ I can’t tell you , something should always remain hidden”, he said and we reached my room.

I didn’t ask anything further I knew when the time comes he always confronts everything.

[A few days later]

Wonwoo has been acting pretty weird since some days. It seems like he is avoiding me. He lies to us saying he has other work but again he hangs out with his other friends. His behaviors are also pretty weird. I asked Mingyu but he said there’s nothing he is normal with him and I am overthinking but I am pretty sure it’s not normal. He calls me even less now and leaves me on read pretty often. These things are getting the best of me now and it’s super confusing and I am hell lot scared to confront him too. But to be honest I have been feeling weirder too about him. I am maybe attracted to him and I know I shouldn’t be.

I saw him today but he smiled and left when I reached there. And now it’s quite hurting especially with these feelings. I always kept myself in check and also my feelings. When everyone teased us and said us we should date I always laughed it out but why can’t I do it anymore. I hate these feelings.

[ time skip]

Finally came the time of our graduation which is only a month left but I have to decide now whether I have to stay here or leave for further studies and I am pretty confused. I have never left my family and especially Wonwoo, but again I don’t want to suffer with these one sided feelings these hurt a lot more.

Right now we are in a better place he is pretty normal but I am kind of avoiding him and staying in home mostly. I can’t face him I can’t hide my feelings that too from him. 

Wonwoo called me to meet him and after ignoring him like for many days I decided to meet him. I went to our regular café where we usually hang out. When I reached he was already there sitting and playing games and looking perfect as ever and this thought made my heart jump a little.

“ Hi” , I said as I sat down in front of him.

“ Hi , it’s been a long time y/n”, he said putting his phone down.

“umm yeah it’s been a long time”, I looked down  thinking of excuses and then I continued, “ I was pretty busy cause of these final exams and all”.

“ I understand and how are you?”, he asked.

“ I am okay and you”, I replied. I never struggle this much to talk to him. Why is this getting difficult?

“ Yeah I am fine just a few things are stressing me”, he said and smiled.

“ what , you want to talk ?” I asked worried.

“ no it’s fine it will be okay , by the way are you dating anyone ?”, he asked and it caught me off-guard.

My pupils dilated and I coughed , “ no I am not dating anyone”, I managed.

“ Oh , okay. Then do you like someone”, he asked again and looked at me in genuine confusion.

I didn’t want to lie to him and if I say yes then he will ask me who and then I will get rejected and things will get awkward so I replied instead, “I don’t have time I am so busy for the future to think about these and also I don’t want to date anyone right now I had enough of dating experiences”.

“ OH I see”, he replied and then focused on his drink. I decide to ask him too who he is in love with. I know I might never replace that girl but I might help with her although it will kill me from inside. 

I spoke up, “anyways Wonwoo, you said you liked someone last time we met, and so are you still into her?”

“ Yes I am still in love with her”, he said without hesitating, it means he is pretty serious about her and I don’t have any chance.

“Oh okay , who is she ? Do I know her ?” I asked.

“ umm no you don’t know her and why are you asking ?” he questioned back.

“ I thought I might help with her it seems like you are pretty serious for her”, I replied.

“ Oh no need it’s fine don’t worry”, he said.

“ cool , if you ever want I will help you , even if you want to move on I will help you find blind dates okay”, I said with a smile and crying from inside.

“Thank you”, he smiled. 

I understood I don’t have a single chance with him. We sat there and talked for a few time and then finally decided to leave. As usual he came with me and dropped me off at my room and we said our goodbyes. After I went to my room I decided to leave this place. And I didn’t even realize when I started crying.

[ time skip]

Okay so as I decided I will leave and luckily I got a scholarship in a different city and it was actually a good place. I know I would hurt for a few time in the starting but then gradually I will move on. I was not that brave to deliver this news to my friends face to face so I decided I will lie to them and after I will reach there then only I will tell them. I don’t want to change my mind now.

The day came when I had to leave I still didn’t tell Wonwoo and Mingyu about this. My mom and dad came to see me off. My dad was super proud and my mom was crying. I consoled her and then went. I had already typed the texts I was about to send them once my flight takes off.

I completed all the security procedures and then as I took my seat I opened my phone and then I copied the entire texts and pasted it and hit that sent button. I am going to throw this sim card anyways so it didn’t matter what the guys would think.  I haven’t cried at all when I was with my parents but suddenly my tears started flowing down. I wanted to stop crying but for some reasons it didn’t stop and it made me angrier. I was thinking of all our past memories and all those moments I spent with them especially with Wonwoo. Thinking of him my heart ached more. I don’t know how to stay away from him but I had to do this. It would have hurt me more to see him with someone. His future always has that someone who isn’t me. I wiped my tears when my flight finally took off.

To Mingyu :

Hey Gyu!! I know after seeing this text you might freak out but I am sorry. I am leaving actually the time by which you have seen this text I might have left already. Anyways I just wanted to say thank you to you for all those memories we shared and for always being that goofy and protective friend and for always lending me an ear when I needed. And also for handing me tissues when I cried. To be honest I didn’t wanted to leave but my heart just couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to confess you something that I like Wonwoo and it’s been a while actually, I never said this to you or else you would have forced me to confess him which I couldn’t.  So don’t think much and stay the way you are and please look out for Wonwoo and yeah I will be deleting this number but don’t worry I won’t lose your contact. But you should never say Wonwoo when I will text you please I want to disappear from his life so that he can concentrate on his life without worrying about me and at the mean time I can heal. Take care <33

To Wonwoo:

Hie!!

I know whatever I am going to say now might sound weird so sorry from now only. I like you, I know it’s weird so don’t freak out. I remember we used to laugh at others who did this but yeah I fell for you and who won’t. You are that perfect guy out there. Whenever I dated someone it never worked out because no one treated me like you do. And for that thank you. And also I am grateful that you were always there by my side even though everyone left. You did everything for me and you were there in my vulnerable state but you know what, all I ever did was burden you with my stupid and messed up life. I always created the mess and you helped me out. I never thought I would end up falling for you I know I am super stupid, you might me wondering now why I never confronted to you about this it’s because I don’t want to lose you but look at the irony I did already. I can’t take that burden of rejection so I left. And don’t freak out it’s of no use and it’s for the better as from now you can focus entirely on your life without worrying about me all the time. At first I thought it was a simple crush but when I saw you with Jihyo I felt jealousy for the first time and I felt so hurt. But I hope you will be with the girl you like and stay happy okay that’s what matters. Oh by the way I forgot after your break up Jihyo called me and blamed me for your break up I know right it sounds so funny and she said that you like me that’s why you guys broke up and you know what I low-key wished you did. Anyways that’s too much for a text but again this is the last text. Stay happy Wonwoo and live your life with no regrets. And yeah I love you.♡

[one-boring-person]

H'okay I gotta bite. From the friends-to-enemies-to-lovers prompt, would you please do #5 with one of our favorite smart asses: Gabriel Cash? I was going to ask for Snake but after seeing 'Guilty as Charged' I *LOVE* how you write him!

Thank you so much! I'm really glad you liked it! And thanks for the request, I enjoyed writing it, though I'm really sorry that it took so long :/

We Make A Good Team.

Gabe Cash (Tango and Cash) x reader

Warnings: swearing, mention of gun violence

Masterlist

"Sorry, can I just…" A pair of hands suddenly grip my waist and pull me to the side, away from my position by the corner, the familiar voice sending a wave of irritation through me as I hear it.

Stumbling to stand beside the newcomer, I glare at him as he takes my place, drawing a gun from his belt as he presses himself back against the grimy bricks, peeking round the corner.

"Cash, get the hell out of my way!" I hiss at him, grabbing his arm to pull him back.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did you say something?" Gabe turns briefly to look at me, his hair whipping into my face from our accidental proximity. 

"Come on, Cash. You know playing deaf doesn't suit you." I retort, still pulling at his arm.

"Really? Because it sure as hell looks like you're enjoying it." He sends a pointed glance at my hand on his sleeve, "See, you're already trying to take my clothes off."

Snapping my hand back to my body, I make a sound of disgust, blushing angrily as he smirks at me and turns back around, peering round into the darkened street.

With an angry scowl, I turn back to face the rest of the team of armed police behind us, locating my captain quickly.

"Why the hell is he on my case, sir?!" I growl, gesturing back to the blonde beside me.

"Hey, hey! "He" has a name, you know." Gabe interrupts, "And who said it's your case? Last I checked, there's a whole crowd here."

"What, you think you should go in solo?" I scoff, barely looking at him, "I've been on this case for a week now, so it's mine. I call the shots, so fuck off!" 

"Actually, (Y/n), I called him in." My captain says from the back of the group, sending me a stern look as I set my jaw.

"But why?" 

"Because, babe, there's no way you're gonna pull this off without me." Gabe smirks, before he suddenly steps out from behind the corner, yelling out to the criminals I'm trying to convict.

"Cash! You fucker!" I bite out after him, following swiftly with my gun raised, knowing I'll probably need it now.

Falling in beside him, I take up a position to his right, inadvertently reverting back to old habits I built up years before, weapon aimed slightly to the side as I keep half an eye on the surroundings as well as the scene before us. Noticing me there, Gabe shoots me a quick grin, winking as he sees me realise what I've done, looking back as I make a face of disgust and move into a different place, scowling to myself. Observing the scene before me, I change my aim as I figure out that there's no way we'll be snuck up on - the gangs (all three) are there in their entirety. Swallowing, I signal to the squad behind us to move in, thankful for the forethought of bringing in more help from the armed cops. It's not long before they're all in position, both the ones behind us and on the roofs around, as well as those at the other end of the alley. 

"Put your weapons down, you're surrounded! Nobody needs to get hurt, but if you don't do what I say, someone will!" I call out to the gathered gang members before Cash can get a word in, eyeing them all warily.

Nothing happens, the whole alley remaining still and silent, almost eerie as we stare at each other, guns aimed at one another. It takes a full minute for the tension to be broken.

"You think she's joking? Listen, guys, I've seen her angry and trust me, it's not pretty. Just drop the weapons, and none of us have to see her go batshit! Everyone wins!" Gabe finally shouts to the gangs, nodding towards me with a knowing look. 

Annoyed, I glance at him, glaring as he winks at me again, finding his relaxed approach infuriating. Across from us, the gang members look at each other in confusion, as if debating whether or not to follow our instruction 

"Look, guys, it's really not that hard. Just do what she says!" Cash tries again, cocking his gun ominously.

"Drop your weapons!" I follow up, adjusting my grip on my gun, "Drop them and step back, hands in the air!"

As the threat of the situation finally sinks in for them all, many of the gangsters gradually place their weapons down, surrendering themselves even as their compatriots curse them out, pointing their guns at them. It doesn't take long, however, for them all to see sense, especially as the armed police move forwards to start making the arrests. 

With a triumphant grin, Gabe turns to me and holsters his gun, lifting an eyebrow at my vexed expression as he goes to move past.

"Way to go, team!" He comments as he steps past me, bumping my shoulder with his.

Flipping him off, I go to help the others, ignoring him.

*

It's already half ten by the time I finish writing the report, my hand aching from the continuous movement - my captain has always preferred handwritten files for some reason, so I often spend hours writing up days and days worth of case notes. Even so, as I walk over to the door to the captain's office, I can't help but feel a little satisfied by the completed wad of paper, holding it carefully so that it doesn't get damaged at all. 

Naturally, the captain isn't in at this time of night, so I push open his door and go to the desk, dropping the file by his keyboard with a final thunk, glad to be rid of the burden. Without further ado, I leave the room, heading to my office again to grab my things, only to realise I have yet to sort out the conviction forms for the gangsters we picked up earlier, a job that will take me a good hour or so alone. Sighing, I take up the pile of papers, shuffling through them with a tired carelessness, moving back out into the corridor with them. 

This time, I make my way over to the communal area, intending to make myself a cup of coffee so that I'll at least be able to stay awake whilst I fill these in. As I enter though, I fail to notice the figure sat in the corner.

"Babe, it is way too late to be drinking coffee. You should try a beer." Gabe's voice sounds almost as tired as I feel, though I can't quite see why, as it's highly unlikely that he's done any paperwork in the last four hours.

His words startle me, making me jump and drop my cup to the counter top with a loud clatter.

"Fuck, Cash! You scared the shit outta me!" I curse, pressing a hand to my chest as I catch my breath.

"Sorry, sweetheart. Thought you'd seen me." The detective apologises, lifting his beer up to his lips.

"S'fine." I mumble, turning to the fridge in search of a drink, "I need something stronger than a beer."

"Stronger?" Gabe lifts an eyebrow.

"Yeah. But I'll take a beer...I ran out of scotch a few days ago." 

"Scotch? You take that shit to work?" His other eyebrow joins the first.

Shooting him a tired smirk, I grab a beer and join him at the table, dropping the papers down in a messy heap.

"I usually do." I reply, cracking the beer open on the edge of the table, "As I said, I drank it all."

"Damn, girl, didn't realise work got you so stressed." He remarks, toasting me as I lift my drink to my lips.

I shrug, taking out my pen to fill some of the forms in, writing in the date, charges and signing the bottom. 

"Why don't you just leave that for someone else to do? Or wait until tomorrow? They're not going anywhere." Gabe asks after a while, having watched me in silence, the longest we've gone without arguing in a long time.

"Because," I sigh, glancing up at him, "I actually stick to my deadlines. This needs to be done by tomorrow."

He clicks his tongue, rolling his eyes as he reaches across, pinching the end of my pen.

"The captain isn't going to expect you to have written a whole report, plus thirty of those fuckers. You're not a machine, you need a rest." The blonde says to me, clear blue eyes fixed on mine, genuine care written into his expression.

"No, Cash-" I try to argue, only to be cut off as he takes my pen from me and stands from the table, coming round to my side.

"Yes, you're going to listen to me for once." He orders, almost sternly, helping me from my chair as I protest a little, unused to the friendly way he's behaving around me.

Shushing me, Gabe leads me over to the sofa at the far end of the break room, sitting me down before taking his place at the other side, which isn't so far given the small stature of the piece of furniture. Our legs are touching from our close proximity, but I'm too tired to do anything about it, simply enjoying his company instead, something I never thought would happen again.

"You know, (Y/n), we still make a good team." He murmurs after a minute or so, drinking from his beer as I turn my head to look at him.

"I guess so." I agree, thinking back to the arrest earlier today, as well as a few earlier on in our careers. Back when things were easier.

Gabe is clearly thinking the same as he sighs and turns to look at me, the two of us making eye contact properly for the first time in years, unspoken words passing between us as we gaze at each other. 

"I still wish things hadn't changed." He sighs wistfully, glancing away again, hand clenching the bottle. 

"Me too, honestly." I reply quietly, finishing my beer quickly as I settle back into the sofa, feeling sleep tugging at my mind, "It was nice having a partner."

"Yeah it was. Work gets lonely now." 

"Tell me about it." 

All is silent between us for a few more minutes, during which time I start to feel my eyelids drooping closed, my body relaxing comfortably into the soft cushions.

"Maybe one day we could work together again." He proposes, placing our bottles on the floor by our feet.

"Yeah, that would be nice." I agree, being totally genuine as I try my hardest not to drift off, "I miss you, Ca- Gabe."

At the sound of his name, Gabe looks over at me again, evidently noticing me half-asleep on the couch beside him. It takes him a moment, but it's not too long before I feel a lair of arms wrap around me. Eyes opening, I give him a questioning look as he pulls me closer to him, maneuvering us so he's got me cradled against his chest, leaning back against the arm of the sofa. If I wasn't so tired, I would've pushed him away, but as it is, it feels nice being held in his strong grip, his chest firm under my cheek and palms as I give in and nuzzle closer to him. His scent floods my nostrils, something in the mixture of old fast-food and hastily-used cologne comforting me as I feel a soft warmth spread through me. 

Too tired to argue, I relax into him, allowing him to lull me to sleep with gentle patterns on my back, his hair falling into my face as he leans forwards over me. Just before I drop off entirely, I feel him press a soft kiss to my forehead, his arms tightening around me as he hugs me to his body, muscles loosening underneath me.

I really have missed him.

[terry-perry]

Here We Go Again pt. 3

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Odinsdottir!Reader

Warnings: Parental angst (if that’s a thing)

OC: A.J. Rogers, Daisy Rogers, Natalie Rogers

A/N: Previous parts HERE and HERE.

Tags: @prettysatan​

Enjoy!

He didn’t know what was going on with her. At first, he thought it was about work. He knew how stressed she could get when the council couldn’t reach agreements on certain issues. But then, he began to do some more thinking. Was this about the girls leaving for that mission?

She was still having a bit of a struggle with accepting the fact that they were now part of the next generation of Avengers. They were still her babies, in her eyes. Only 17 and 19, and they were off fighting crime and putting their lives on the line to save the world. How could she not worry?

Whatever it was that was bothering her, she shouldn’t keep it all bottled up. He wanted to be there for her as best as he could.

“Thor?” Steve approached his brother-in-law at the cliffs overlooking the waters. It was always a favorite spot of the God’s who now looked over his shoulder to offer a welcoming smile.

“Something I can do for you, brother?”

Even after all these years, it felt rather strange for Steve to be referred to as such. When imagining the possibility of future in-laws, he didn’t exactly prepare himself to have any that were of royalty. And in this case, space royalty. Still, it didn’t deter him from seeing Thor as family. It was why he was coming to him, after all. 

“I don’t know,” Steve said, not knowing how else to start. “I just-- I’ve been worried about Y/N. I’m sure it’s nothing; maybe she’s just stressing out over work. But it still feels like she’s closing herself off from everyone. It’s not my business, but did she mention anything to you by any chance?”

After hearing this, Thor was now the one unsure of what to say. Guess Y/N hadn’t told him the news just yet, leading him to this suspicion. This alone made Thor want to spill everything to him, but it wasn’t his secret to tell. No matter how much it concerned Steve. 

“Well, what do you think she might be concerning herself with?” He decided to take a different route by trying to see if Steve could figure it out himself.

It seemed to have done the trick as he pushed his brows together to think about it. “The most recent thing I can think of is the last time we talked to the girls. They have to stay where they are, longer than anticipated. It’s been getting Y/N more anxious than she already was.”

“That must be it then!” Thor attempted to make it look like he came to this conclusion as well. Laying on the enthusiasm a little too thick. 

Steve didn‘t notice, thankfully. Now busy feeling guilty for what Y/N has been going through by herself. And it wasn’t that he hasn’t been missing Daisy and Nat either. He missed them like crazy. But they had jobs to do, just like the ones he and Y/N had.

He figured it was hitting her the hardest since when the kids were growing up, she had been the parent that mostly worked and stayed active even after retiring from the Avengers. He himself took on a more Fury-like role by helping to recruit new members and resolve any disputes there may be between the government and superheroes, but he still spent most of the time at home. 

Now he wanted to do what he could to help her through this emotional time.

But what?

She continued to pace around the living room, seeming to get more antsy by the minute. This was getting to be too much. Pushing on the verge of ridiculous. She just needed to be upfront about it now. 

“Mom?”

And as if she needed to add more to her inner stress...

“Darling,” she greeted A.J. as he walked in looking concerned. Deja vu. 

“What’s going on? What happened at dinner?”

“I was wondering that myself. What happened with you? You looked quite sick.”

“You’re one to talk,” he retorted, his worried stare having yet faded. “You were covering your nose and face. Was there something actually wrong with the food?”

“No,” she stated, sighing. If she was wanting to be more upfront about this, might as well start now. “The thing is...I’m pregnant.”

She could hear the way his breath caught in his throat. And if that didn’t give away his shock at the news, his suddenly big eyes certainly did. Though it only seemed to last for a second or two, his expression than changing to one of curiosity and intrigue as he glanced down at her stomach.

“Huh, that explains some things then,” he mumbled more to himself.  

She tilted her head, wondering now herself what he could mean by that. “Like what?”

His eyes went back to hers to explain. “Well, at dinner, I think I felt something like a presence? Like someone else was there besides you, me, and dad. And maybe that explains why I felt sick. Because you were feeling sick. Is that possible?”

Her confusion and worry then changed into feelings relating to elation and pride. 

“A.J.!” She squealed, approaching him with these emotions in hand. “You’ve inherited your grandmother’s gift.”

“Her gift?”

It could go without saying that Frigga was a powerful witch with many talents. Which is why it can also be said that her powerful empath abilities could easily be overlooked. It was what helped her in being a wonderful wife and mother as well as a selfless and understanding queen, beloved by all. Being able to channel others’ emotions and auras. Could A.J. have gained this skill too?

“Your grandmother was a powerful Empath that could read the feelings of others,” Y/N went on to explain. “And if powerful enough, they can take on the energy of others. Even feel things before they happen due to having a strong intuition.”

“So, like a mind reader?” A.J. asked.

“In a way. Except instead of thoughts, you’re able to read emotions. The energy level of others. Perhaps what you were sensing at dinner was the presence of your future sibling as well as my troubling emotions. Not to mention, my nausea.”

A scoffing chuckle was what she was met with along with “Well, I’m happy for about the baby and the cool stuff I gained, but I don’t know if I’m looking forward to feeling everything you’re gonna feel these next nine months.”

She was happy to learn about this new development about his son, but he certainly had a point. How would this effect him on a personal level? How did Frigga do it exactly? This wasn’t something either her or any of her siblings inherited fully. Perhaps Mantis would be able to lend hand on this, given she was an Empath herself.

“We’ll find a way to help you control your powers,” she assured him. In the meantime, she was glad that he didn’t seem put off by the other news. “So, you’re okay with the baby? Truly?”

“Yeah,” he said, smiling before giving her a small, reassuring hug. “It’s a surprise, but it’s awesome. But, I take it Dad doesn’t know.”

She looked embarrassed as she shook her head. “Haven’t had the spine to tell him. Scared of how he’d react. But now I’m feeling guilty for putting it off. Doesn’t help that your Uncle Thor and Aunt Brunnhilde already know.”

She released a heavy sigh after spewing all this out. On some level, she wanted him to judge her for acting like a frightened child. But all he could give her was a sweet, comforting look that had him look so much like Steve.

“He’s gonna think this is great news,” A.J. assured her. “He’ll be shocked, sure, but he’ll be happy.”

“You think so?”

“Absolutely,”

The third voice that came into the room immediately caught her off guard, realizing who it was in an instant. She spun around to find Steve had entered their home. That same reassuring and loving face.

“A.J., you mind giving us a minute alone?” Steve requested, directing his head towards the front door.

A.J. understood right away and gave one more smile before making his exit. Leaving his parents alone. One that was biting her bottom lip an fiddling with her fingers while the other wanted it to be known that everything was okay. It would be, anyway.

“How much of that did you hear?” She began with, still afraid to look him in the eye fully. 

“Only all of it,” he teased lightly with a shrug. He walked over so he pull her into his arms and let her see how genuine his happiness was, now that it was up close. “This is great, really.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” she still felt the need to apologize and open to him the way a wife was meant to do with her partner. “I was scared. For many reasons, if we’re being honest. I mean, it’s been so long since we’ve been in this situation. Will we still be good at this?”

“Of course! Y/N...” he pressed her closer as he ran his hands along her sides. The way his fingers traced his back and lightly massaged her got her shivering a bit. “If we’re being honest, I’m scared too. But, it’s a good scared. Like when I realized I was in love with you. Or, even when you were pregnant the first time.” He paused to give a kiss to the top of her head. “This is gonna be great for us. We’re great parents. You, especially. It’s why I thought you were so upset in the first place.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” he took a deep breath, now feeling like the embarrassed one. “I thought you were feeling depressed about the girls being gone.”

“Oh, darling. I mean, of course I wish they were here, but I know they have a job to do. I’m proud of them.”

Steve could only smile brighter as he pressed a kiss to her hand. “That right there. That’s how I know we’re going to be okay. Y/N, you care so much about the people you love and do your best to understand them. It’s why you’re such a great mom. Why I love you so much.”

Her eyes couldn’t help but fill up. He knew. It was true that most of her worry derived from her own anxiety. It’d been a mix of things like her past worry from her family’s history and how she wasn’t the most present parental figure that she wanted to be. But he was right. They got this.

“I’m so lucky,” she summed up these thoughts by simply stating that before burying her face in his chest. 

He chuckled softly and continued to hold her tight. They stayed that way a little while longer until he brought up a surprise of his own:

“We should probably head outside. I called the girls, and they managed to conjure themselves up for a visit. Let’s tell them the good news.”

[scarletjedi]

Untitled Untamed Time Travel Fix-it Fic but make it Mingcheng pt 3A

@piyo-13

Part 1: The Setup

Part 2A: Gusu Revisited

Part 2B: Gusu Unleashed!

Part 3A: The Return of the Plot

One day, Lan Qiren announces that there will be several days without classes, as he is expected to attend a discussion conference in Qinghe. Students are expected to continue their studies independently, but everyone knows that it’s some much needed time off.

And, if Jiang Cheng’s memory serves, this was when Lan Xichen led them to fight the Waterborne Abyss. It plays out more or less as Jiang Cheng remembers, with Lan Xichen leading a mixed group of juniors down to the lake. The group consisted of himself, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji and a few Lan disciples, as well as Wen Ning and Wen Qing. Nie Huaisang had smothered laughter when Xichen had asked, insisting that he was going to stay and “study.” Jiang Cheng wasn't sure if Lan Xichen believed him, but Nie Huaisang really wasn’t a strong cultivator, and he certainly wouldn’t be able to handle a water demon.

But, knowing what the problem actually was, and being able to convince Lan Xichen that this was more than a few water ghouls without saying “I’m from the future and we’ve done this already: here’s what you need to know” was a bit beyond Jaing Cheng’s skill. Wangji was no help, nor was Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Cheng narrowed his eyes, suspicious.

Later, Jiang Cheng would shake his head at his naivete in thinking Wei Wuxian had something planned using resentful energy, instead of what he actually did, which was flirt inappropriately with Lan Wangji the entire time.

Granted, that wasn’t much different from the first time, but this time Lan Wangji flirted back, and yeah, their flirting looked a hell of a lot light fighting together (and the pang of jealousy Jiang Cheng felt was an old ghost, and easily put to rest. He had his brother back, and he wasn’t going to let old hurts sour what was becoming a stronger bond) — but it also looked a hell of a lot like foreplay--

On the boat next to him, Lan Xichen’s smile had become a little fixed, his neck flushed an embarrassed red. When he met Jiang Cheng’s eye, Jiang Cheng sent him the same commiserating look he would sent A-Jie when Wei Wuxian was being ridiculous. Lan Xichen started, but sent a rueful (and, hopefully, honest) smile in return.

The events played out much as they had before. Su She lost his sword in the lake. Wei Wuxian almost fell into the abyss trying to save Wen Ning. Lan Xichen put the pieces together and came up with Qishan Wen. And, if Wen Ning’s eyes were less ghost-white, and more fierce-corpse black, well — it’s not like it would be something others would recognize.

They traveled back to The Cloud Recesses by boat, and when Wei Wuxian held up a pair of surreptitiously purchased bottles, Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes.

Yeah, what the hell. He could use a drink.

~*~

That evening is surreal as everyone piles into the room Jiang Cheng shares with Wei Wuxian. Some things are the same as before: there are peanuts to eat, and their outer robes are thrown over the windows to hide the lights of the lanterns that will remain lit well after curfew. But this time, it's more than just him and Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang. This time Jin Zixuan is there, holding a bag of boiled sweets like it’s an entrance fee. Wen Ning, sitting hunched over as if it could make his already surprisingly broad frame smaller, brought roasted and salted melon seeds. One concerning thing, however, was that Nie Huaisang, along with the peanuts, had insisted on bringing “entertainment.” Jiang Cheng hoped it was game cards, but it was more likely to be porn.

...or porn themed game cards...

Oh, fuck, it was porn-themed game cards, wasn’t it?

Jiang Cheng shook his head, trying to chase the worry away. There was a larger issue at present, one that challenged everything Jiang Cheng remembered about their group’s shared past...

The wine was provided by Lan Wangji.

Sure, Wei Wuxian had snagged a couple bottles on the boat ride through the market, same as last time, but he had only managed to grab two bottles. No, when Lan Wangji had arrived, walking in like he was busting them for breaking the rules *again*, he had, instead, pulled *three* bottles from his sleeve, and Jiang Cheng wasn’t entirely convinced there wasn’t more stored there for later. It certainly seemed like something this Lan Wangji would do to please Wei Wuxian — and judging by the way Wei Wuxian threw himself into Lan Wangji’s arms, it was *working*

Jiang Cheng sat next to Nie Huaisang, which placed him next to Wen Ning. Their tentative truce held as Wen Ning smiled at him, tight lipped but honest. Jiang Cheng was sure his returning expression was no less pained. Jin Zixuan sat gingerly on Nie Huaisang’s other side.

Jiang Cheng grabbed one of the bottles on the table, and Nie Huaisang hurriedly pulled several cups from somewhere. Jiang Cheng poured four cups, and dropped the bottle on the table. Wei Wuxian could get his own when he put down Lan Wangji.

Roughly, though gentle enough not to spill, Jiang Cheng placed a drink before Nie Huaisang and Wen Ning, and then all but shoved a third at Jin Zixuan. “Drink up,” he said brusquely, downing his own glass and pouring another.

“Jiang Cheng!” Wei Wuxian protested — Oh, now he’s paying attention! — “Savor the wine! Emperor’s Smile is a wine so unparalleled—”

“I’m about to ask him about A-jie,” Jiang Cheng snapped, and Wei Wuxian fell silent. Then, to Zixuan, who had remained frozen, cup in hand: “Drink up!”

Jin ZIxuan drank.

It didn’t take long for his face to flush, his eyes to blink more slowly — long enough for Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian to join them, Wei Wuxian leaning in to check on Wen Ning, who nodded back. Ignoring that exchange, Jiang Cheng watched Jin Zixuan pour another cup with more care than usual. He had to admit, he was a little surprised: he expected greater tolerance for pleasures from someone from Lanling Jin.

“So,” Jiang Cheng said, not too proud to admit that he enjoyed the sudden look of terror in Jin Zixuan’s eyes. “Why don’t you want to marry my sister?”

Huaisang choked on his drink, but Jin Zixuan lowered his cup, answering seriously. “I don’t know your sister.”

Jiang Cheng waited, but there was nothing more forthcoming. “That’s it? You don’t know her? Tsh—” he pointed at Jin Zixuan with the finger of the hand holding his cup. “That’s easily fixed.”

Jin Zixuan...slumped. There was no other word for it, and Jiang Cheng was reminded, yet again, that Jin Zixuan was only fifteen — the only actual teenager in the room.

Jiang Cheng sighed internally. That meant he had to be an adult about this, didn’t it? Damnit.

He held up a hand to stop Wei Wuxian’s irate sputtering from becoming actual words. “Don’t you want to know your intended?”

Jin Zixuan glared at him, sullen, and Jiang Cheng had a sudden flash of Jin Ling, and what he would become as a teenager — even as a toddler, the child clearly hadn’t inherited his mother’s composure. But, Jiang Cheng was the adult in the room (by default. Huaisang was, actually, the oldest, but Jiang Cheng was confident in thinking that didn’t count when Huaisang was determined to recapture his misspent youth in between plotting the fate of the cultivation world), and being the adult meant waiting out the teenager.

After a long moment Jin Zixuan downed his drink, as if for courage, and spat, “I would like one thing in my life to be my own!” It was supposed to be angry, and Jiang Cheng could sympathize with that anger — how much of his own life was wha Jiang Cheng would have chosen? — but in this moment, it was just even more clean that Jin Zixuan was still a teenager — and a poorly socialized one at that.

Jiang Cheng knew Luo Qingyang had tried her best, but there was only so much even as capable a woman as she could do in a place like Jinlingtai.

“You are a sect heir—” Jiang Cheng began, but Jin Zixuan cut him off.

“So I can choose nothing for myself?!”

Jiang Cheng slammed his palm on the table, the echoing crack of it silencing and stilling the room. “Yes! Exactly! Your life is not your own; it has never been your own, and sometimes that’s easy, but sometimes...” He swallowed, mind’s eye full of battlefield thunder and a surprisingly boyish grin, “sometimes life will seem to offer you everything you ever wanted and you cannot take it because your sect comes first.” Mortifyingly, his voice cracks, and Nie Huaisang shows some damned tact by gripping his hand in comfort under the table where Jin Zixuan can’t see — and Lan Wangji’s face looks as stoic as he ever did in Jiang Cheng’s memories, and Wei Wuxian looks like he might cry, and—-

Jiang Cheng cleared his throat. “So all you can do is choose the way you face it. You can be sullen and cry “why me” and like miserable for both you and her, who has no more choice in this that you. You can make things difficult for your sect, mine, our parents — or, you can choose to make an effort, get to know A-Jie. You can choose to walk into the future with an ally.” He narrowed his eyes. “Or do you want a marriage like your parents’? I know I wouldn’t wish mine on anybody.”

He raised his cup to drink, but it was empty. A bottle appeared in his field of vision, and Jiang Cheng watched as Nie Huaisang filled his cup.

“Jiang Cheng,” Wei Wuxian began softly, but he shook his head.

Pointing at Jin Zixuan, Jiang Cheng said. “Make you choice. Now,” he sniffed. “Huaisang, you promised entertainment?”

“I did!” Nie Huaisang said, giggling as he reached into his sleeve and pulled out a stack of cards with a flourish. “I found these in a little shop in Qinghe. The art is exquisite, and they’re quite rare, so be careful! Don’t spill anything on them!”

With a practiced flick of his wrist, he spread them on the table. Jin Zixuan choked and Jiang Cheng sighed.

Yep. Porn cards.

Squinting, he picked up one to get a better look. Oh. Cutsleeve porn cards. Well.

“Nie-xiong!” Wei Wuxian exclaimed, half-delighted and half-scandalized. He leaned in closer to look, but it was Lan Wangji who picked up a card to study it more closely. He showed it to Wei Wuxian, who turned purple, grabbing the card and hiding it against his chest. “Lan Zhan!”

“Ah ah! Don’t bend them!” Nie Huaisang scolded, flapping his fingers as he would his fan.

“You-!” Wei Wuxian tried, but he couldn’t get the words out past his mortification. Jiang Cheng smirked and picked up a card of his own, not really looking closely but loving the way Wei Wuxian made a noise like steam escaping. Really, his favorite song.

After that, their little group was solidified. It gained them some severe looks from Wen Qing, (and one terrifying moment when Jiang Cheng, in a hurry to make it back to his dorms before curfew, turned a corner and came face to face with her. She was smaller than he remembered, the force of her presence making her grow in his memory, but after a moment of far too intense eye-contact, Jiang Cheng stepped aside to let her pass, which she did. Jiang Cheng told himself that the flash of light by her fingertips was an illusion, and not her needles), but every time Lan Xichen saw their group with Lan Wangji he smiled and let them be.

Once, Jiang Cheng saw Jin Zixuan talking closely with Jiang Yanli, and slowed down until he saw Mianmian standing within earshot, pointedly not looking. No need to get involved, himself. Mianmian was more than capable of smacking him if Jin Zixuan stepped out of line.

Wen Ning was a surprising help for Nie Huaisang, possessing an incredible amount of patience and a talent for tutoring. When Nie Huaisang passed the next exam without asking Wei Wuxian to help him cheat, he threw himself at the shy boy, draping over him the way he used to his brother’s sworn brothers, sobbing his thanks. Wen Ning awkwardly patted his back and waited for him to stand.

~*~

So, since this is the Untamed canon, the whole Yin Iron thing happens, only this time Wangxian *know* they’ve eloped, and have decided to make that everyone *else’s* problem by being utterly shameless while keeping knowledge of their elopement to the core group of time travelers. Wangji makes it clear that he would be traveling with Wei Ying, who also makes it clear that there is no way he would let Lan Zhan handle this alone. The plan is still to travel after the lectures complete.

Nie Huaisang is adamant that they have to leave before that if they wait, they’ll miss Xue Yang, and delaying too long would trap them between Gusu and Wen Xu. Lan Wangji is perfectly happen to fuck up Wen Xu, but agrees the Yin Iron is more important.

Either way, the lantern festival comes, and Jin Zixuan isn’t a total jerkwad, having actually talked to Yanl at some point — actually, based on the way they’re looking at each other, they probably talked a lot. Mianmian caught Jiang Cheng’s eye and winked. Huh.

Leaning in closer to Nie Huaisang, Jiang Cheng wurmured, “if my sister marries Jin Zixuan before the war, how badly will that impact your plans?”

Nie Huaisang waved his hand, clearly focusing more on his lantern. “I’ve several contingencies for that, don’t worry!”

The rest of the lantern lighting goes off without a hitch, and Jiang Cheng releases his lantern with a wish that he refuses to speak out loud.

Afterwards, there’s still a commotion, but instead of Wei Wuxian punching Jin Zixuan because he’s being a dick, it’s becuse several disciples stumbled over Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian ... well, they were fully clothed then Jiang Cheng opened up, so it couldn’t have been anything too scandalous. When they’re brought before Lan Qiren and Lan Xichen for discipline, the former looks about ready to qi deviate, while Lan Xichen was absolutely planning Lan Wangji’s wedding robes.

Jaing Cheng narrowed his eyes.

Even Lan Xichen’s composure cracked, however, when Lan Wangji dropped the “we eloped” bomb, and Jiang Cheng heard Lan Qiren shout for the first time off of a battlefield. Eventually, however, it was decided that the handfasting could be seen as an engagement rather than a marriage (and even Jiang Cheng recognized how stubborn Lan Wangji looked at that), and the couple would be seen as officially courting. The proper letters and gifts would be delivered to Yunmeng Jiang immediately—

“We should wait!” Wei Wuxian blurted out, and hand to backtrack quickly to explain: dealing with the Yin Iron should take precedence. If they started formal marriage proceedings, then Lan Wangji wouldn’t be available to hunt the Yin Iron. So, they should wait until after their search before sending the letters.

“We cannot allow you both to go alone, even if nothing is yet official, there is still propriety to observe.”

Somehow, neither Wei Ying nor Lan Wangji let slip their late nights in the Jingshi, and Jiang Cheng found himself saying goodbye to Yanli as he and Nie Huaisang prepared to travel with the two newlyweds.

~*~.

The events play out much the same as before, only this time instead of sending Meng Yao, Nie Mingjue sends Nie Zonghui to collect them and Xue Yang (who, after they testify the his confessions of his crimes) is summarily executed - and then, they have two pieces of Yin Iron.

But, before that happens, their party arrives in Qinghe.

Nie Mingjue is waiting for them, like before, but this time there is a noticeable pause when he sets eyes on Jaing Cheng (and oh, but he wasn’t ready—) — long enough a pause that those watching noticed, and it was only at Huaisang’s prompting that Nie Mingjue began to speak, repeating the words he said the first time as if a script he was told to follow, save for the way he paused again after his paise made Jiang Cheng flush like a teenager with a crush—

Nie Zonghui gives his report and takes Xue Yang away, and Meng Yao leads “the visiting young masters” away to rest and refresh themselves from travel. The minute they are alone, Nie Huaisang *flings* himself at Nie Mingjue, sobbing. “DA-GE!”

“Didi, what did you do?!” Nie Mingjue demands, his words belied by his tone, near tears himself, and the way he holds Huaisang back just as tightly.

Gathering himself, Nie Huaisang steps back, squares his shoulders, and snaps open his fan. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Da-ge. I didn’t do anything.” Mingjue’s eyes narrow and the fan flutters. “Really it’s all about being in the right place.” He blinked, slow. “At the right time.”

Dinner that night is a tense affair, not out of discomfort, but out of the need to keep up pretense. Mingjue took the opportunity between meeting with his brother and the meal to met out Xue Yang’s sentence, and when Meng Yao idly commented on the fact that acting unilaterally as he had would make certain political allegiances difficult, Nie Mingjue commented that war was inherently difficult, and if the Nie sect were the only ones to notice that Wen Ruohan had gone to war without informing the rest of them, that was hardly his fault, was it.

(Meng Yao had looked at him, and when Nie Mingjue raised an eyebrow, he shook his head. “Nothing, sect leader, just...it always surprises me more when you are like your brother than when your brother reminds me of you.”

Nie Mingjue had laughed, low and self-aware. He did hope that they were able to keep Meng Yao from making the same mistakes in this life: he did, genuinely, like the man.)

They did not keep silent during the meal, as they were not in Gusu, but as was customary during joint functions, they refrained from discussing anything of substance until the meal was over, and no one pressed Lan Wangji to speak. But, once the meal was over and they lingered over a delightful Qinghe wine that was clearly not chosen by Nie Mingjue himself, not the way he looked surprised by the contents of his cup, Nie Mingjue dismissed the staff and gave Meng Yao his leave for the night. It was only once the door was closed behind them that the facade dropped.

Nie Mingjue rubbed his forehead. “All of you? Us? All of us?” he asked, sounding far too tired, and Jiang Cheng, sitting opposite Nie Huaisang, next in line from Nie Mingjue, moved to reach out in comfort without thinking. Mingjue was seated too far away, however, and Jiang Cheng watched, instead, as Nie Mingjue gathered himself once more.

When Mingjue looked up, Jiang Cheng began talking, explaining that it was only supposed to be him, but something had gone wrong. That they were lucky that their error brought more people along and did not, for example, kill any of them. In such a ritual, Jiang Cheng was pretty sure it would not be a normal death, and despite the rituals he had undergone to prevent such things, he did not want to haunt the earth after attempting and failing to go back in time.

“Is this all of us?”

“There’s one more,” Nie Huaisang said, and hesitated. “He’s on our side, and always has been!”

Nie Mingjue lowered the cup. “Who?”

“Wen Qionglin,” Nie Huaisang said, and raised his fan to cover his mouth. “The Ghost General.”

Nie MIngjue breathed deeply through his nose, letting it out slowly even as Baxia rattled eagerly beside him. Jiang Cheng eyed the saber warily - he didn’t know what effect traveling through time would have on Mingjue’s qi, and he didn’t want his lover to deviate before they had a chance to keep him alive.

But, Baxia settled, and Mingjue turned his focus on Wei Wuxian. “Yes. Let’s talk about the Ghost General.” Jiang Cheng wasn’t surprised when Lan Wangji’s arm came up between Wei Wuxian and Nie Mingjue, nor when Wei Wuxian patted it gently, trying to urge Lan Wangji to step aside. Lan Wangji didn’t move, and Jiang Cheng cleared his throat, sitting up straight to speak like the sect leader he was, even if he wasn’t yet.

Oh, he’s going to have to face that soon, isn’t he?

“Wei Wuxian’s cultivation is not an issue. The circumstances that lead to its creation will not be repeated,” and here, he turned to Wei Wuxian. “Under any circumstances.”

Wei Wuxian opened his mouth as if to argue, shot his eyes sideways to Lan Wangji, and slumped, visibly, as if he was truly still a teenager. He nodded, holding up three fingers in salute.

“And what circumstances were those?” Nie Mingjue asked, raising an eyebrow. “If this is something that could be replicated—”

“It isn’t,” Jiang Cheng snapped. Nie Mingjue looked at him in surprise: it wasn’t that Jiang Cheng had never snapped at him before, but perhaps he could tell how upsetting Jiang Cheng found the whole mess. He forces himself to settle, to lower his shoulders and unclench his jaw. Softening his voice as much as he could, he offered: “Later.”

Nie Mingjue watched him for a moment, and then nodded.

Of course Wei Wuxian had to ruin it. “Jiang Cheng is correct in saying that the conditions wont be repeated, and the effects of my research are not currently affecting this world, it doesn’t change the fact that I know this path - I am still capable of it’s cultivation.”

“Good,” Nie Huaisang said, his tone steely enough to override any other reactions to that proclamation. “Your skills were instrumental in not only ending the war, but winning. We’ll need your talents again if we want to defeat Wen Ruohan.”

After a moment, Nie Mingjue nodded. “I have to agree. I don’t like it, you’re too talented a cultivator to lose you to wicked tricks a second time, but I can’t deny that it was effective on the battlefield.”

“Perhaps not as your primary path of cultivation?” Lan Wangji said, the plea within obvious. Wei Wuxian smiled at him, softly enough that it was as if the rest of them suddenly didn’t exist.

“Don’t worry, Lan-er-gege. I just got Suibian back - I have no desire to cast her aside so quickly.”

From the corner of his eye, Jiang Cheng saw Nie Mingjue frown at that - probably remembering all the times Wei Wuxian publicly refused to wear his sword.

“How close are we to war?” Jiang Cheng asked, and as a distraction, it worked. It was also a legitimate question: his first time though, Jiang Cheng hadn’t been unaware of the political tumult, but he was also fifteen and preoccupied by more local matters. Lotus Pier’s policy of “not our business” didn’t help him remember the details.

Well, the details before it burned.

The conversation shifted into a true council of war; the Wen forces acted much the same as before, which confirmed to Nie Huaisang that there probably wasn’t another rogue time traveler on the loose. Unlike before, however, Nie Mingjue had been busy, setting Meng Yao to the task of establishing correspondence (in Nie Mingjue’s name, of course) between the other major sects, seeking to bring them closer together earlier, to hopefully fend off some of the destruction.

So far, it hadn’t worked.

“Wen Xu is already marching on Cloud Recesses,” Lan Wangji said, and Nie Mingjue nodded.

“I have a team of Nie disciples ready to escort you back to Gusu, to aid in the defence of your home. They will be ready to leave in the morning, you should make better time if you fly, and should beat Wen Xu there.” Lan Wangji bowed his thanks, and leaned into Wei Wuxian when he attached himself to Lan Wangji’s side. Jiang Cheng didn’t watch - it seemed that the lovebirds finally realized that their responsibilities were pulling them in two different directions, for now.

Turning away, Jiang Cheng met Nie Mingjue’s eyes, and followed him from the chamber towards a reunion of his own.

Part 3B: The Road to War!

[vibraniumwing]

i’ve got you, always. [1]

an oliver wood x reader wherein oliver tries to bring the walls the reader built because of a past heartbreak down. will he manage to do that or break his own along the way?

WARNING: angst. 

A/N: so @harrysweasleys​ planted this idea into my head about how oliver wood and y/n met and how their love blossomed after her heartbreak with fred (if you do not know that then please read this first before proceeding) this part is more of a backstory as to how the two met.

i have split this into two parts and you can find the second part here.

---

Oliver Wood was an absolute charmer in his days at Hogwarts. He has the girls swooning over him with a simple smile of his— but who wouldn’t be? He’s the Quidditch Captain for Gryffindor.

Because he has only loved and still loves a certain girl, despite her breaking his heart unknowingly, despite him knowing that it was his own fault to begin with.

That was you, (Y/N) (L/N).

---

Oliver had first met you during his fourth year, his eyes landing on the small you amongst the crowd of first years who were just as excited to be sorted into their own respective houses. He watched you silently walk up to the chair and sat down, his fingers crossing immediately as he silently wished for you to be in Gryffindor.

And as if the Sorting Hat heard him, you were placed in Gryffindor. The Scottish found himself cheering along with the students as they welcomed you to the long table. You sat beside Fred Weasley and in front of him, too shy to even look at any of them.

“Hello there! I’m Fred!” “I’m George!” The twins immediately introduced themselves, offering their hands to you, which you hesitantly accepted and shook. “I-I’m (Y/N), though you probably heard earlier.”

The way you spoke tugged at his heart gently, making him smile to himself as he stared at you. “That’s Percy, our brother and that next to him is Oliver Wood, the captain for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team.” Fred continued, motioning to the two boys in front of you. 

The former merely spared you a glance while the latter gave you a rather warm welcome, “Hope ya like Quidditch! I’ll be looking out for you in the stands.” He teased, unable to hold back the smile as you nodded excitedly, looking forward to seeing how he played in the field. Despite not being the sporty type, you enjoyed the certain thrill of watching the game.

“Hey, (Y/N)! We’re on the team too!” Fred suddenly boasted, “We’re the beaters!” George continued, starting to chow down on the dinner that suddenly appeared from the table. 

As you easily fall into the conversation with the twins, a certain captain can’t keep his eyes trained away from you; unsure on how to deal with the feeling brewing within him.

---

“You do know she’s three years younger than you, right?” Percy questioned Oliver as he straightened up his school robes and hat.

He groaned softly into his hands, slightly annoyed that he was constantly reminded of that,  “I know, Percy. I don’t even know how to deal with this myself and you know me, I always plan and deal with things.” 

The ginger just shrugged, really unsure on how to deal with the dilemma of his friend. “That’s up to you to decide, Wood.” He said before heading for the door, off to do his rounds as a prefect.

And with that, he was left to deal with the problem alone.

---

If there was anything that Oliver Wood was good at aside from Quidditch, it was keeping his thoughts to himself. After Percy left him alone in their dorm three years ago, he swore himself to secrecy, to never let anyone else know about his little “crush” and decided to just bury it into the back of his mind.

But despite his best efforts to keep his infatuation at bay, you were making it harder to do so. As he witnessed you slowly mature and come out of your shell, the more he finds himself growing fond of your presence.

Oliver found himself by the covered bridge, staring over the vast amount of green as he pondered with his thoughts. The pressure was slowly growing on him with his final Quidditch season and urge to win the cup, his N.E.W.Ts, and of course his pent up emotions, he felt like his head was about to explode. 

“Oliver!” A sudden voice called out, he looked over to see your familiar (H/C) locks bounce as you walked over to him, a bright smile on your lips, “You seem worried out of your wits. Is there anything going on inside that head of yours aside from Quidditch?” you asked, earning an eye roll and scoff from him. 

He turned around and leaned against the railing, crossing his arms, “Quidditch ain’t the only thing that’s on my mind, lass.” he answered, not even fighting back the smile that was making its way to his lips. “Then enlighten me, Wood.” 

Maybe it was the longing feeling of having someone to turn to that made Oliver cave in, “Just pressure, ya know? With my N.E.W.Ts and the Quidditch Cup lingering, it’s quite hard to bear. Then there’s another thing I have to deal with but it’s nothing that concerns you, really.” He confessed, panic settling in him as he realized the latter part of what he just said. 

Curiosity got the best of you when he mentioned that he had another thing to deal with, making your eyebrows furrow as you tried to probe around the subject, “Well it is certainly my business now, isn’t it? Since you’ve told me already.” 

Panic settled into Oliver as he seemed to struggle with putting the correct words in, fearing that he might spill something to you. He stood there, silent as he contemplated whether or not to tell you about what he was really pondering on just a few moments before you made your presence known. 

“It’s just that-” He stopped himself mid sentence, looking at you with a hesitant glance before continuing, “I got this girl I like, been that way since fourth year. My feelings were never unchanging of hers yet I’ve never made it known to the public. No one ever really knows who, I’ve turned down multiple people because they’re not like her.” He explained, looking at you expectantly, nibbling down on his lower lip as he looked at you nervously.

Your face turned into one of excitement, smiling at the realization that he’s got a crush. “Oliver Wood has got a crush? And he doesn’t know how to deal with it? Blimey, that’s something very unusual indeed. What’s the catch though?” Teasing him lightly, you motioned him to continue his explanation.

Taking a deep breath in, he continued, “I’m unsure if she would like me back, (Y/N). Besides, she’s younger than me so I highly doubt that she would feel the same.” 

His words made you frown, disliking the fact that he looked at himself so lowly despite him being an actual heartthrob inside the school nor the fact that this was uncharacteristically like him, knowing he would always be sure of his actions, “Oh please, i’m sure whoever that person is would like you back! I mean who wouldn’t? You’ve got extreme loyalty to whatever you’re passionate about, you’re a stellar student and player in the field, I doubt that person would even turn you down!”

The way you hyped him up sparked the little circuit of hope he had, thinking that he might have a chance with you. His worried expression soon morphed into one of determination, the same one he would have during matches. “Alright then, I think I might just do it then. Thanks for the pep talk, lass.” Oliver said, patting you on the shoulder as he walked straight for Hogsmeade, wanting to give a gift upon his confession.

“I’ve got you, Oli! Always!”

---

Your words were burned into the back of Oliver’s mind as he made his way into the Gryffindor Common Room, clad in his hands was a bunch of beautiful parchments, a special quill and a beautiful bottle of color-changing ink, knowing how you loved to do writing in your free time.

As he entered, his eyes immediately scan around for the set of (H/C) hair he knew by heart. Spotting you by the couch, he approached you. However, the sight that followed next was not what he had initially expected. 

It was you, in the arms of another person, laughing your heart out as the both of you cuddled in front of the fireplace; in the arms Fred Weasley.

Your head whipped around at the sight of him in your peripheral view, “Oh Oli! How did it go?” You asked him excitedly, moving a bit to make some space for him to sit down, motioning your hand for him to come over.

He didn’t know what to do, he was stuck in his place as he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. The girl he wished for, the one girl he turned everyone down, the one girl he looked for inspiration during his darkest times, was never going to be his. 

“Fred just confessed to me earlier today! He had this whole picnic set up by the Black Lake, it was wonderful! How about you though? How did things go with your mystery lady?” You exclaimed, leaning into Fred as you were now questioning how things went.

There were no words as to how pathetic Oliver had felt as you boasted on how sweet and extravagant his confession was. He held his gift at his back and mustered up a small smile, “I opted not to, (Y/N). She has a boyfriend now, didn’t want to be much of a wrecker, would I?” 

“Oli, I’m so sor-” “No, it’s alright. You didn’t know” He answered quite harshly, glancing at a rather smug looking Fred as his hands tightened around your waist.

He approached you both and placed the gift down on the table, using every inch of his power to give you another smile, albeit half-hearted, “You can have these instead, I find it no use to give it to her anyways.” 

You stared at him with wide eyes as you looked at the rather extravagant ink and quill, “Oli, these are so expensive, are you sure you want to give these to me instead?” 

“Positive, have fun with those.” He whispered, unable to hold his heartbreak anymore and made his way to his dorm; the feeling of disheartenment lingering through his skin as he remembered the incident he had with the ginger that held you securely in his arms.

---

“Oliver!” Fred called out, jogging up to him. He noticed that the expression on the freckle-littered boy was rather serious, making him stop in his tracks and raise his eyebrow at the younger. “What is it, Fred?”

He huffed lightly and shoved his hands inside his pockets, “So you like (Y/N) too?” his tone hint with aggressiveness. The younger looked tense as he competed with the intense stare Oliver gave him.

‘too? He likes (Y/N) too?’ he thought to himself, “So what about it, Weasley?” He questioned him, his tone as equally- if not even more aggressive- as the ginger. His arms were crossed, yet his fists were already clenched, knuckles white from holding back; disliking how the former approached him.

“Just back off, She’s mine.” And with that, the red-head left, leaving the older boy confused and angered. “I won’t lose her to a guy like you.” He answered back, obviously ticked off that someone wanted her as much as he did.

Who was he to say such words like that? 

---

Oliver stared at the mirror, cringing at how lifeless he looked. He’s been restless since the night he has seen you with Fred, ripples of pain shooting through his heart at the memory. The smile you had that night was permanently etched in his mind, almost haunting him in away.

You were is ray of sun, the motivation he needed when he felt hopeless; yet in these moments, he wanted nothing more to just wipe you away from his memory.

He has managed to stray away and hide from you for the past couple of days, internally thanking the fact that he had to study for his N.E.W.Ts and Quidditch Practice so he has concrete excuses as to why he was avoiding you like the plague.

“Wood, are you coming? We’re waiting for your speech before the match starts.” Harry asked him, staring at his captain with expectant eyes, unaware of the current grief he was holding so tightly to his chest.

With all of the energy he could produce, he masked up and grabbed his broom, ready to face the match ahead. 

or at least he thought.

There you were, hugging Fred tightly as you whispered wishes of good luck with their match against Slytherin. 

Stopping dead in his tracks, his angered boiled quite quickly and shouted, “Oi Weasley! Get your arse in the tent right now!” His voice dripping with agitation and jealousy. 

The red-head placed a quick kiss to your lips before walking over to the tent, noticing the smirk that was plastered on his lips, Oliver gripped on his broom even tighter as he spared you a glance.

“H-Hey, Oli!” you managed to say before he entered the tent. Oh Merlin did he miss hearing your voice. He turned around and looked at you expectantly, foot tapping in anticipation. 

“Good luck at the match today. I believe in you.” You cheered him on, waving the little flag you brought with you before skipping away to the stands to join your friends.

A big smile suddenly appeared on his lips, a sudden wave of determination washing over him at the cheer you gave him. As much as he hated himself to admit this, you were still his energizer. 

And your cheer was all that he needed to push forward.

---

“And Harry Potter has caught the snitch! The best house-” “Jordan!” “Sorry Professor, Gryffindor has won the match! They won the Quidditch Cup!” 

As Lee Jordan’s voice rung out through the whole pitch, Oliver’s eyes were wide in disbelief, cheering along with his teammates as they have finally won the cup. He was leaving Hogwarts with the Quidditch Cup in their hands.

He watched as his the twins carried Harry on their shoulders, raising the trophy high up in the air as they laughed to their hearts content. Personally receiving a few greetings of his own, he was more than ready to rest at the Hospital wing with Madame Pomfrey all in his ears.

“Oliver!” A familiar voice rung out through the crowd, looking around, he saw you running towards him with the biggest smile. He dropped his broom instantly and opened his arms, ready to accept you in his arms. 

You jumped to his arms, hugging him tightly, a proud feeling swelling in your chest as he wrapped his arms around your waist. Unknowing of the fact that the latter wanted nothing more than his moment to last, “Congratulation on winning! I knew you could do it!”

You broke away from the hug and placed your hands on his shoulders, “How are you though? You took some nasty bludgers to the stomach.” You asked, frowning lightly at the sight of him falling down. 

The older shook his head, a wide smile on his lips, “It’s nothing too bad, (Y/N). Nothing I can’t handle.” He explained, ruffling your hair lightly, which earned him a few punches to the arm. “Thank you for cheering me on though, it meant a lot.” He continued, giving her a smile, his real smile.

 “Like what I said before, Oli. I’ve got you, always! Now, I’ll be off, Congratulations again, Captain!”

And with that, he watched you jump into Fred’s arms, lips locked in a rather brief kiss as you shouted congratulatory words to him.

Oliver couldn’t even bear to look at the sight, smiling once more to his teammates, he headed off and decided not to look back.

To never look back at you and the memories you made.

---

general taglist: @theweasleyslut​ @violetravens​

[beeexx]

The missing Tarlos scenes from 2x06

Word count: 4.8    Read on ao3

.......

“You know you need to tell him this, right?”

“No, no, I really don’t.” TK protests loudly, by banging the frozen bag of chickens into the counter, hoping they will shake loose with the excess force he is using. Carlos lifts an eyebrow from where he is standing in boxers and an old tank top, too much skin on display for it to be good for TK’s health, cutting onions into small, stupidly neat pieces on the chopping board. 

“TK….” Carlos begins, in that voice of his and TK turns around, eyes flashing.

“Carlos.” 

Carlos huffs.

“Babe, this is clearly bothering you, and taking it out on our poor dinner isn’t ideal.” He points out.

“Oh, sure Carlos, I’ll just tell my dad that him having another kid is a terrible idea because I’m a prime example of how they messed up with the first one.”

“TK…” 

“Oh and while I’m at it I might as well bring up how I am feeling about it and make it all about myself like I always do, that ought to go down really well.” He snaps and Carlos sighs. 

“You don’t make everything about yourself.” TK lifts an eyebrow and Carlos snorts. “Okay, sometimes you do, but often not without a legit reason and this is definitely a situation I feel you’re entitled to feel whatever it is that you’re really feeling and express that.” 

“Okay, well if we’re on the subject of telling parents what we really think then why don’t you take a page out of your own book and tell your parents that you have a boyfriend, oh, or better yet, the way you’ve been feeling for years about them refusing to acknowledge that you’re gay.” As soon as the words leave his mouth TK regrets them and he winces at the wounded look Carlos sends his way at his harsh words.

Fuck. 

“That’s not the same thing.” Carlos mutters, he sounds bitter about it and were it not for the deeply thoughtful look also making its way across his features TK would take the words back immediately.

“I could have gone about that differently, sorry…. But, but isn’t that exactly the same thing as this is though.” 

“We were talking about you.” Carlos points out in an attempt to deflect and TK just chooses to let it go because he doesn’t have the energy to have an argument about two different things at the moment. His head is enough of a mess as it is. 

“My point still stands, talking to your parents about all the ways they have hurt you is fucking hard, okay?”

“Yes, okay I will agree with you on that.”

“And if you really want to make this all about me this time then fine. Try telling my dad, Owen Strand, Captain of the 126, adored by his crew, envied by even more, hero, cancer survivor, the list could go on for a long time Carlos, yes try telling that person that oh yeah by the way dad you neglected me as a child and now I have both abandonment issues, self esteem issues and a constant fear that no one is ever going to love me because I am not worthy of it, that will go down real well.” 

He hits the bag three more times against the counter and lets out a triumphant sound as the frozen chickens finally rattle loose inside and he turns to hold it up to Carlos, a sly little smile at the corner of his lip, because his tactic did work even though Carlos had doubted it would. Carlos isn’t smiling though, he’s frowning, concern written all over his face, eyebrows pinched together and TK drops the bag in confusion.

“What?”

Carlos puts the knife down and takes the bag from TK, throwing it lazily, without looking in the direction of the kitchen sink before he steps up close, wrapping his arms around TK and pulling him close. TK lets out a huff of air, taken aback by the fierceness of the action. 

“I hate it when you do this to yourself…” Carlos starts and TK sighs, wraps his arms around him back and nods against Carlos’ neck, can’t help but breathe him in, feeling the calming effect of it already working through his system. 

“Sorry.”

“No, no don’t apologise.” Carlos leans back and TK looks up to meet his stormy eyes. He opens his mouth but he isn’t sure what to say. 

“I love you, okay? So much and I wish I could hit that into your thick skull sometimes but I can’t, so I’m just going to have to spend every day in this relationship proving that you are indeed worthy of love and no past damage or mistakes will change that, okay?” TK can only nod, his throat suddenly thick with emotions he doesn’t know how to express.

“With that said, you’re not very good at keeping things bottled up, especially not for a long time and especially not something this big, so you should probably really think about what you actually feel about this whole situation before you choose to do that.”

“Judd said I was jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Yeah, something about me wanting to push the baby down a well or something because I couldn’t handle not being the only child anymore.”

“He said what now?” TK chuckles at Carlos’ incredulous look and he shrugs.

“It was some biblical reference I don’t know. Prodigal son?” 

“Oh, like Cain and Abel, like a lesser known older brother and the jealousy that stems from it because it’s natural to resent the baby because you’re scared it’s going to take your place.” Realisation dawns on Carlos’ face and his eyes light up like they always do when he gets to talk about things he knows, which at times is a surprisingly big amount of random shit.

“Yeah, yeah, exactly that.” TK says sarcastically, gives Carlos a curious look.

“What? I read.” He shrugs and smirks proudly. TK hums. ”Well Judd is good at a lot of things, maybe giving advice isn’t his forte.”

“And yours is?” TK lifts a challenging eyebrow. 

“I am an excellent advice giver, I’ll have you know. The issue isn’t me, the issue is everyone else and no one listening to what I’m saying.”

“Oh, so you have a lot of experience then, giving advice?” TK bites down his smile as Carlos glares without heat.

“I chased Michelle around for years when she was getting in trouble searching for her sister. I definitely have a lot of experience.” TK chuckles and leans up to kiss his nose. It wrinkles adorably and TK’s heart tugs in his chest. He loves Carlos so much.

“I love you too, so much. And I’m sorry for bringing up your parents again, that wasn’t nice of me.” TK apologizes and Carlos nods and watches back with quiet brown intense eyes.

“It’s okay, you were right though.” He grudgingly admits. 

“Maybe, but there is no pressure, as I’ve said you can take all the time in the world that you need to figure it out and I’ll support you either way.” He promises and Carlos gives him a soft beautiful smile.

“Thanks.” Carlos whispers, grateful and TK nods, and gently starts scraping his knuckles against Carlos’ scalp, pulling at his curls in a way that makes his face soften immediately, eyes falling shut in contentment and his arms tighten around TK, breathing heavily. His reaction tells TK that Carlos feels really comforted by the way he is touching him and that he needed it more than he let on.

TK has always responded well to touch, Carlos picked up on that a lot quicker than most, but it’s also not uncommon for Carlos to like it as well. He just doesn’t always express it, so TK’s taken to doing it when he senses it’s something Carlos needs, while not always being aware of it himself. It’s these small gestures TK’s learnt, that you do for the other person and that they do for you that love really is. 

Carlos’ eyes are closed and he’s letting out soft sounds of pleasure, it’s distracting as hell, and it’s making it even more difficult being this close to him and not kissing him, so TK does because he feels he can’t not do it, and angles Carlos’ head down and captures his lips in a searing hot kiss. As always when they kiss like this, starting out soft, but then growing with intention and heat, the slowburn of arousal starts to make its way through his veins, electric energy flooding his system. Only Carlos has this effect on him. 

When Carlos reaches to grab at his hair and then bites at his lip it makes TK whine and chase after him when he moves back. 

“Dinner, remember?” Carlos reminds him, but with his curls standing up unruly and his pupils dark with want, it’s very hard for TK to remember the reason why he can’t skip dinner all together and eat Carlos out instead. Carlos huffs and his hands tighten around his sides like he can read TK’s mind.

“After dinner.”

“Is that a promise?” TK asks slyly. 

“Yes.” Carlos reassures and the slow self satisfied grin tugging at his lips is fucking obscene and TK cheekily grabs his ass in retaliation. Carlos knows the effect he has on him. 

“You know cooking in boxers can be a fire hazard.” He points out.

“Good thing I know an excellent firefighter then.” He says and kisses TK hard on the lips before he steps away, walking back to his mostly finished chopped up onions, giving TK a very nice view of his ass in the black tight boxers he’s wearing. God, his boyfriend is hot as fuck.

The rest of the evening is so nice in fact that for a moment he doesn’t think about his parents or the baby, or anything other than how much he loves Carlos and how lucky he is to really have him in his life.

…….

TK unlocks the door to Carlos’ place, throws the bag towards what he hopes is the direction of the shoes, and puts his keys down in the bowl by the door, where Carlo’s are already lying. He steps inside and almost jumps out of skin when he sees his boyfriend sitting on the stairs, frowning and very clearly waiting for him. Most of the lights are off and it casts his features into stunning relief, even when angry, Carlos is too good looking for his own good.

“So, you heard?” TK gulps and Carlos nods.

“Yes, yes I did hear, from the group chat, but not just that, every goddamn news station in the state is covering how two firefighters jumped through a minefield to save two boys that were hurt.”

“Well, only one of them was hurt.” TK shuts his mouth when Carlos levels him with a deeply unimpressed look and he takes a slow step forward and tries again.

“In my defense, I am certified and I was qualified to do it.” TK stops, draws in a sharp breath, backtracks. “Are you mad?” 

Carlos lets out a deep breath, and his features soften slightly before he shakes his head, scrubs a hand through his face and when he looks up his eyes are wide and sad.

“No, no, of course I’m not mad. Just extremely worried.”

“Oh?” TK asks, feels confused, scrambling to catch up with the change, having been expecting that Carlos would be upset with him. Carlos huffs and opens his arms and it’s all TK needs for him to take a few steps forward before he sits down between Carlos’ legs, wrapping his arms around his neck, pulling him close. Carlos plants a kiss in his hair, and tightens his grip around TK, almost unconsciously starts stroking his hands down his back and TK lets him, can’t push away the guilt that’s come on so strong, mixing badly with the elevation he’s also feeling after the day he’s had. But when his boyfriend reacts like this it can’t help but leave an acid taste in his mouth too.

“I’m not sure whether I want to never let you leave my arms ever again or brag to everyone that I am for sure dating a hero.” Carlos says and were it not for the slight tremor of his voice that he tries to conceal, TK would laugh. 

“I wouldn’t mind never leaving your arms.” He admits because it sounds appealing, especially now, when adrenaline is starting to make way to exhaustion instead. 

Carlos huffs. 

“You’d get bored after a day or two.” He points out and TK shakes his head.

“You underestimate the excellent sex we do have, I’m sure I could be convinced for three days or so.” Carlos laughs, but then one of his hands wrap around TK’s wrist, feeling out his pulse, comforted by the steady thumping of it. TK lets him, allowing himself after the hectic day he’s had to tuck his face into the crook of Carlos’ shoulder and neck to breathe him in. They both have different ways of calming themselves down when the other one is near and on certain days they need it a little more than on others. 

“Your pulse is beating insanely quick.” Carlos points out after a while and TK hums against Carlos’ neck, gives himself a moment before he detaches himself slightly so he can look at him. 

“Adrenaline.” He shows Carlos his hand that’s still trembling slightly and Carlos’ eyebrow pinch in concern.

“I’m sorry -” TK begins because he really does hate it when Carlos is sad but Carlos shakes his head and interrupts. 

“No, no, this is on me. I know you have a dangerous job that sometimes requires that you take risks, I just wish they didn't have to be this big, a minefield, that’s just insane.” TK nods, he understands.

“But also really cool.” He can’t help but let slip out, eyes alive in excitement and smirking. Carlos snorts and pokes his nose, a little hard maybe, but only a little.

“Yes and designed to give me a goddamn heart attack, you know I’m not even 30, by this rate I’ll be going grey before I hit 35.” He points out, gives TK a look that speaks volumes about how offended Carlos seems to be over that. He laughs and reaches for Carlos’ hair, tugging gently on it.

“I think you’d suit grey really well to be fair.” Carlos wrinkles his nose in distaste and it’s so adorable that he can’t help but laugh again and Carlos distaste slowly melts into something much softer and he sticks his tongue out instead like a mature 26 year old that he is. “And if we’re pointing fingers, remember that hostage situation a while back where an office was shot and I thought it was you because you wouldn’t answer your phone?” Carlos winces and he looks momentarily guilty about that because TK had been so fucking worried he could barely even do his job that day and when Carlos hadn’t answered by the time they were both off shift TK had lost it a little bit. 

“Not my finest moment.” Carlos admits.

“No, so don’t go pointing fingers.” But he’s mostly joking even though that day had been scary as fuck, he so very much understands Carlos’ worry today, he really does. Carlos hums.

“How was it then?” He asks and TK bites at his lip, trying to figure out how to word everything. He turns towards Carlos and sits up on his knees, bringing him eyelevel with him and wraps his arms around his neck. Immediately Carlos’ hands come to rest on his waist, his fingers slipping underneath TK’s jumper to trace skin. 

“It was incredible, well the minefield aside which was scary for sure, but after that I’ve been feeling like I’ve been on this incredibly long lasting high ever since.” Carlos lifts an eyebrow at the metaphor and TK shrugs sheepishly. 

“Yeah, but it’s an apt metaphor for the feeling. I guess I haven’t felt good like that in a while.”

“No?” Carlos asks and there is no trace of judgement or anything in his voice, just kind and curious eyes looking at him. TK nods.

“The only other times I’ve felt this kind of high is you know actually getting high and when I’m with you, I guess the job’s been missing that spark for a while.” Carlos smiles and leans forward to plant a kiss on his nose.

“I’m not totally sure about comparing this relationship to a high.” He points out and TK snorts.

“I’m not, I’m comparing the feeling. Being with you is like pure happiness you know? I feel, just, like I’ve never felt before and even when it’s tough it’s worth it because I love you so much and I know deep down that you love me too and I never don’t want to spend my time with you, so yeah, the feeling is addictive for sure. I really just love you.” He goes quiet and Carlos' eyes have softened and he’s met by a look of pure love and a breathtakingly beautiful smile breaks across Carlos’ face before he pulls TK close and kisses him softly and slowly, making TK’s toes curl inside of his shoes. 

“Fuck.” Carlos whispers against his lips. “I love you too, so much.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Carlos says with adoring eyes and voice full of love before he runs his hand through TK’s hair and gently pulls him close, kissing him hard on his lips again. It’s TK who pulls back though making Carlos lift an eyebrow in surprise because it’s unexpected for TK to be the one to do this, so before TK can chicken out he blurts out the words.

“But I might have done something stupid…”

“Oh?” Carlos asks, amusement dancing in his eyes like he’s totally expecting it. 

“Yeah, I might have handed in my resume to Vega for the position to become a paramedic.” He rushes the words out, hates the silence between them and can’t help but feel ridiculously nervous all of a sudden waiting for Carlos' reaction. Carlos opens and closes his mouth a few times then shakes his head.

“Okay, wait, I think you need to back up a few steps here so I can follow.” He says, confusion evident in his eyes. But he’s giving TK an encouraging look at TK takes in a deep breath.

“The minefield was not fun and the thought of what could have happened to me and my dad while out there was really scary. I’m not trying to take massive risks anymore, not when I have you to come home to.” Carlos smiles, lovingly, and gives him an encouraging look spurring TK on. “But I knew someone had to get to the kid and with the help of my dad and Vega that I could do something about it, so I volunteered. And the elevation afterwards, that all came from saving the kid. It just… it felt really good to save someone, to be the one to actually do it.” TK confesses loudly for the first time since his shift ended and he in the spur of the moment added his name to the pile in Vega’s office, and saying it makes him feel a little calmer than he has ever since walking off the field. 

“Oh, okay.” Carlos says, not fully understanding yet what TK is trying to say, and yet being so patient with him, waiting for TK to figure it out. 

“I don’t know, I sometimes feel like I’m not doing enough in the field, like I could do more... and while I also know that’s not the case because every day we all go out in the field doing our best together. But I think I’ve been carrying this with me for a while now, it’s just that this year has been a lot, and even when there is a pandemic going on people still forget to turn their stove off, and they get into car accidents or have their cats escape up in trees unable to come down. The world hasn’t stopped, it’s been moving and I’ve been moving with it without having the time to reflect a lot on myself and the job. But today, I don’t know, I felt like something just clicked while out there and when I could really help him...I guess, I really liked doing it.” TK blushes because he’s been ranting and he’s averted his eyes but they move back to Carlos by their own accord and Carlos’ eyes have cleared from all earlier confusion, instead understanding has taken over and he nods his head thoughtfully.

“And that’s why you handed in your resume? Because you want to continue doing it?” Carlos fills in and TK nods biting his lip.

“D-do you… Do you think it’s a good idea?”

“It’s not up to me to tell you what to do babe, but you know what?”

“What?” TK asks, hanging onto every word he’s saying. 

“I think you’d be good at it.”

“Yeah?” He asks, hopeful, and Carlos smiles.

“Of course, you’d be amazing at it, if it’s what you want.”

“It is yes, it’s what I want.” TK says with certainty. It’s just clicked, like all that has been shaking loose and upended recently inside of him finally settle a little more.

“Then yes, it’s an amazing idea. You’re going to be so good.” Carlos grins and TK melts because while he doesn’t depend on Carlos’ approval for this it’s so nice to see him be actually happy for him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Carlos promises and TK releases the breath he wasn’t aware he’d been holding and his own face breaks into a relieved smile. 

“I think I could be good at it too.” He confesses a little shyly and Carlos beams and pulls TK slightly forward, his forehead resting on his and everything just settles for TK because nothing beats this, nothing beats Carlos. 

“I’m proud of you.” Carlos says and TK can’t bite down the smile. But it falls off his face after a moment and he moves back, looks a little unsure again.

“I might have done something else that wasn’t very smart.” Carlos huffs, lifts an eyebrow, so ever patient with him.

“What did you do now?”

“I didn’t tell my dad…” He trails off and Carlos grimaces but then a look of determination takes over and he shrugs before he gently grasps TK’s face between his hands, stroking a thumb lovingly along his cheek.

“Well, you know what I think?” TK shakes his head. “I think it’s not any of his business really.”  

That surprises TK to be honest and he lifts an eyebrow.

“W-what? I mean really?”

“Yeah, I mean maybe you should have told him before you just went and did it, but it’s your life and not his. And as long as you’re not doing it for someone else then it’s not really his choice to make.”

“I’m doing it for me, it’s what I want.” Carlos’ lip lifts in a proud smile and he nods.

“Good.”

“But, what if he’s not happy?”

“I don’t think he will be unhappy, maybe a little surprised and maybe give him a moment. But if he knows you like I do, then he will realise it’s a good thing.”

“Okay, I hope so.” TK musters up a wane smile, still can’t push away the spikes of anxiety about the conversation he’s going to have to have with his dad. But it can wait, for a little while at least. 

“You know Vega is going to bust your ass right?” Carlos jokes, eyes full of mirth, smirking and TK snorts.

“Yeah, yeah I know.”

“I remember when Michelle started training under her, the stories she would tell me, Vega is badass and she taught Michelle who is also a badass, I’m expecting she’s going to do the same to you.”

“I’m already a badass.” TK reminds him and Carlos chuckles. 

“True, I think she will do you some good though. Challenge you and allow you to really thrive under her, she has that effect on people.” TK nods.

“It’s a tough job…”

“Yeah, but as you said, you’re already a badass, you’re going to do great.”

“It will be nice to be the paramedic, rather than calling one.” TK says and it grows a little more serious between them. 

“I mean -” TK clears his throat at Carlos’ silence. “I have experience of being on the other end and I know what it’s like being helped. I guess a part of me is looking forward to doing the helping.”

“I see, well you care so much about people and if you get a chance to show that, to show them this.” Carlos' hands move to cover TK’s heart and it flutters in his chest, warmth spreading to every cell of his body and he smiles shyly. “Then, well, you’re going to be very good at it.” TK bites his lip and nods.

“It feels… I don’t know, just right.”

“Good, that’s amazing.” TK doesn’t know what to say but he’s grateful, more than how he knows to express at the moment but in the way Carlo’s face softens, maybe he can read between the lines.

“Have you talked to Owen about the baby yet?” TK groans, can’t help but glare, the moment between them broken suddenly, like a bucket of ice cold water has been thrown at him, and he moves his head away, hiding in the crook of Carlos’ shoulder and neck and nibbles at his skin making Carlos chuckle, twitching in his arms.

“No, not yet…” He says though, voice muffled by Carlos’ skin. 

“Well, do you want to talk about it?” TK sighs but takes his head away and meets Carlos’ eyes. 

“I feel… I mean I am happy for them of course but...” He bites at his lip, hard and Carlos reaches forward with his thumb to gently stroke it over the swollen redness making TK stop the action. He takes in a deep breath instead.

“But they always do this, and I don’t even think they are realising it, but they get so single-minded and focused on themselves that they forget everything else. The fighting isn’t fun, I’ve been in the middle of it and I know how lonely and unwanted you can feel when it happens. What they’re doing, it feels like they are just falling into the same patterns as before without even realising that they are, and it’s not going to last if they do it that way.” 

Carlos looks thoughtful and TK feels annoyed and frustrated because he can’t help but think it makes his parents feel so irresponsible and it’s hard to come to terms with that because his parents in their own right are extremely competent people, it’s just when together, they aren’t always. 

“I support you, I always will and your feelings here are valid and to be worried is honestly a sign of growth.” Carlos begins.

“Oh, you're calling me mature, that’s unusual.” TK jokes, changing the subject.

“I mean you’re definitely a hot mess, a terrible terrible driver for sure.” Carlos easily fires back.

“God, did Judd text you?”

“And filmed some of it. This is why I’m never letting you drive my baby.”

“Hold on, I thought I was your baby, and here I find out you have someone else on the side?” Carlos’ arms tighten around him, biting his lip, the smile threatening to take over. 

“What can I say, I really like that car and I paid a lot of money for it.”

“It’s a terrible car for making out in.” TK reminds him and Carlos smirks, reminded of the few times they’ve gotten frisky in it. 

“True, still not letting you drive it.” He teases and TK glares. 

“Rude.”

“Maybe, but I care too much about the possibility of my greying hairs to get here sooner than I’d like to, to get into a car where you are driving us.”

“Well I might be a paramedic soon, so at least you'd be with someone where your odds are fractionally better if you were to get in an accident.”

“Still not letting you drive it Strand.”

“Worth a shot.” TK laughs and Carlos smiles.

“So, do you want dinner or?”

TK shakes his head.

“No, I’m good, but I’m getting too old to sit on my knees like this.” He grumbles and shifts to get the blood running again. Carlos chuckles and makes it all the easier by just scooping him up in his arms. TK yelps and Carlos grins, delighted by the sound. TK wraps his legs around Carlos’ waist, tightens his arms around his neck.

“Please don’t drop me.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it baby.” Carlos reassures grinningly. “So, bed?”

“Bed.” TK agrees.

He lets Carlos carry him up the stairs and into the bedroom, feeling so safe in his arms, that whatever conversation that’s waiting for him tomorrow with his dad, doesn’t matter as much anymore.

[cardiophileanonymous]

Short Thorquill Drabble: Clear!

AU where the guardians take one Electro, someone with electric powers similar to Thor. He is an alien race considered gods like asgardians. I know he’s a goofy Spider-Man villain but I couldn’t find many other electric villains in the marvel universe lol so just roll with it.

...

“Ha,” Electro quietly laughed. “A GOD of thunder? You’re barely even a child, let alone a deity!”

Thor was backed up to a corner, well, more of a cliff. Quill looked up, frantically waving his arms to get the attention of the men above him.

“Thor!” His shouts fell on deaf ears as the blonde man was too busy focusing on his opponent to notice. He glanced at a broken statue before him. “Rocket, what are these statues made of?”

Rocket shrugged.

“I dunno, silver maybe? But that doesn’t matter right now!”

Without explaining himself, Quill grabbed a long stick like piece that had broken off.

“Hey asshole!” The villain looked down. “Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you! If you really have such amazing lightning powers, why’ve I never seen you use em?!” He lifted up the long rod as if it was a sword.

Rocket’s jaw dropped in fear. He was pretty sure he had a good idea of what he was planning, and Peter had done far more stupid things in the past. He still whispered to him, determined to say his piece and not let his friend at least know what a suicide mission this was.

“Quill, are you crazy?! Silver is the most conductive metal in existence!”

Instead of backing down, the man stood up straighter.

“At least Thor shows his ‘pathetic’ powers! You haven’t! That’s cuz’ you’re not nearly as good as him!”

Thor shook his head.

“Quill-”

The villain finished his sentence.

“I have no need to prove myself to you or any other mortal!”

Quill shrugged and began to speak in a condescending, taunting manner.

“Then, go ahead! Strike me down, Zeus!” The villain turned his attention back to Thor, but he still looked down in the corner of his eye. The human smiled, a nervous smile from fear. He had to get his attention back quick, else Thor would be toast. “YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALL-”

With that, the villain turned, throwing a full speed lightning bolt at Quill. He jumped up from the electrocution immediately.

“QUILL!”

The call came from both Rocket and Thor. Rocket was almost frozen with fear. Meanwhile, Thor has the opposite reaction, taking his large battle axe and swiping along Electro’s feet with the long handle, causing him to fall on his side.

...

Rocket wasn’t sure what he should be doing, but dammit, he was gonna do his best. He had been trying chest compressions for the past few minutes, but with his smaller size he wasn’t sure if he was getting it done properly. Thor ran up to them.

“Rabbit! Is Quill-”

“I am Groot!”

Rocket lifted his head.

“I’m tryin, alright?! Listen, there’s still a pulse!”

Thor perked up.

“There is?!”

“Yeah but it’s way too slow and irregular! I’m trying to get it back to normal, but…”

Thor suddenly got an idea. He nudged Groot out of the way and kneeled down next to Rocket, in front of Quill.

“I have an idea. I saw something back on Earth. I think I can help.”

He shooed him away and opened up Peter’s jacket before ripping off his shirt. He put his hands on his chest. Rocket couldn’t help but keep butting in through the whole thing.

“Wait, what what? What are you doing?”

Thor gave a clear warning.

“Stand back, Rabbit.”

He didn’t know how much was too much. Or too little for that matter. He focused, putting a small electric surge through Peter’s body. His chest convulsed up involuntarily before lying still again. Rocket jumped up, yapping uncontrollably.

“What are you doing, trying to kill him faster?!”

“What is his pulse now?”

Rocket brought his paw up to Quill’s neck to check. He gave Thor an odd look.

“...better than before.” He quickly started chest compressions again. “But still not good enough. His heart’s all outta whack.”

Thor looked to the side. After a few more moments of chest compressions, he brought his hands back down again.

“Stand back, Rabbit.”

He did a similar shock this time. He tried to amp it up a little bit more, just enough so he wouldn’t hurt him and return his heart to his normal rhythm. The body jumped up before falling again. Rocket monitored Peter’s pulse again before returning to chest compressions.

“Better, but it’s still, irregular, dammit!”

Thor put a hand to Peter’s wrist while Rocket continued on with his attempt at cpr. He wasn’t kidding when he said it was irregular. The odd thumping sent a chill up his spine. Still, it seemed to get slightly better with Rocket continuing to do what he was doing.

“Stand back, Rabbit.”

Thor sent another surge of electricity, raising the power up again this time. But this would be the most powerful he was willing to do. Any more, and he was positive he’d be hurting him far more than helping.

Rocket continued with chest compressions. His heart rate was better, but not by much. Thor was beginning to get worried.

“Stand back, Rabbit.”

Another surge. Quill’s whole body convulsed. Rocket shook his head, frantically pushing his chest at a consistent rate.

“A big lightning bolt did this, why can’t a big lightning bolt put it back?!”

“It doesn’t work like that!”

“I know it doesn’t work like that! But…” Rocket began to get tired. He looked down, scared that Quill would never come to. “...but I wish it did.” He slowed down, and slowly came to a stop, before kneeling down. He looked like he was genuinely going to cry. Thor sighed, recalling all the previous friends he’d seen die in battle. He didn’t want this to be another one of those memories.

“Stand back, Rabbit. I’m going to try this one more time.”

He sent one more surge of electricity, hopeful that this time, Quill would open his eyes. After his body stiffened then returned to a relaxed state, Thor took a keen look at his face. He didn’t move an inch. The god finally looked down in defeat. His eyes turned to Rocket and Groot, who were already partially mourning. They would no doubt carry him back to the ship, and subsequently to a hospital, but the ship wouldn’t be there for another fifteen minutes. By then it’d likely be far too late.

Suddenly, Peter stirred. He groaned a little before sitting up. He looked at everyone.

“What… happened…?”

Rocket started laughing hysterically, something he was doing to stop himself from crying. It was a very sad laugh as a result.

“YOU GOT STRUCK BY LIGHTNING, YOU IDIOT!”

Suddenly, Quill’s memories started coming back to him. That’s right! He had pissed Electro off enough into zapping him. But that was strange, because the shock he got from him seemed like it happened ages ago. And he could’ve sworn he came to a couple times from a different kind of electricity.

“But… I thought I just felt zapping.” He looked down and noticed his clothes. “And what happened to my shirt? Was this all from the electric shock?”

Thor lifted his head up in pride.

“I just used my powers to send a large electric current through your heart!”

Quill looked at him with a confused smile before frowning with an open mouth.

“You WHAT?”

“It’s like a technology they have on Earth. A ‘defibrillator’. It puts your heart back to a ‘normal rhythm’.”

Rocket shrugged.

“I mean, it did do that. Your heart rate was waaay worse before Thor started zappin’ ya.”

Quill was speechless. Of course, the first thing going through his mind was holy shit this idiot could’ve just fried me a million times over right now and I could’ve been long dead, did he even know what he was doing?! But then he looked down at his hands, flexing his fingers. He wasn’t dead. Yeah, he was more than worse for wear, but that’s to be expected of someone who just got struck by powerful electricity. In fact, if Thor hadn’t gotten the idea to use his own hands to revive him, was it possible he could’ve died?

…

Later that night, Thor hung by the bar, laughing and joking with Drax and Rocket, as he usually did. This time, Peter joined them, and waited patiently for when Rocket and Drax decided to leave. He decided that after the other two were gone would finally be the time he’d swallow his pride. He knew he needed to say some sort of thank you. Not because of another crew mate telling him to or because his hand was forced. But out of genuine appreciation.

After Drax had left, Peter made a couple facial expressions at Rocket. The two had known each other well enough at this point that they were capable of having conversations without a single word. He indicated that he wanted to be alone with Thor and Rocket respectfully nodded and left the room. Once it was just the two of them sitting at the bar table, Peter finally cleared his throat.

“Thor.”

The god nodded.

“I guess… I just wanted to say… thank you.”

Thor seemed confused.

“Thank you?”

“Yes. For the whole shocking me, back to life, or whatever.”

“What? I should be thanking you!”

Peter turned his head to the side.

“Huh?”

“Yeah! If it weren’t for you distracting him, I’d have been finished!”

Quill’s confusion quickly turned into pride.

“Yeah…! You’re right!” He laughed, but his pride was shaky, and didn’t stay for long. After being face to face with death, again, now didn’t feel like the time to soak in praise unnecessarily. “...seriously though. Look, I know we don’t really get along, so the fact you saved me is just…” He couldn’t really convey the words, so he just reiterated his original point. “Thank you.”

Thor shrugged.

“Why shouldn’t I have? I feel I have been at your ire for no reason yet you risked your life for me in the first place.”

Quill felt like all his mental functions stopped for a moment as he registered what he was just told.

“Did I?”

“Well, what was that whole display?” Thor chuckled as he raised his bottle in the air, quoting Quill right before he got struck by lightning. “Come on, strike me down, Zeus!” He laughed at the previous sentence. “That line is actually pretty funny, since you turned out alive from this whole ordeal.”

Quill unconsciously started nodding.

“Yeah. I guess that is a funny line.”

He started to ponder, why did he do it? In his eyes, Thor was an annoying, rambunctious barbarian. He was always waiting for the day Thor would get off the ship, a day that never really came. Perhaps it was because he didn’t make a good first impression, maybe it was because he saw him as a rival for leadership. But despite all of that, there was no way in hell he deserved to die, so his heroism probably kicked in before any sort of jealousy or bitterness. Sure, literally asking to get struck by lightning was a less than eloquent way of going about saving him. But it was the best he could come up with in the heat of the moment. He snapped back to reality when Thor handed him a beer.

“How is your heart feeling?”

Peter grabbed the beer and looked him in the eyes, confused.

“Um, normal?”

“Well, what’s your heart rate?”

“Normal, I guess…? Like I don’t feel any different, so-”

Thor rolled his eyes, putting a hand on his wrist without question. After a few seconds, he nodded and smiled.

“It’s normal.”

Peter did his best not to move his hand back out of instinct. Was just randomly grabbing people’s wrists to check on their pulses a common thing among asgardians, or was this man just incredibly weird? Instead of saying anything, he tried his best to laugh it off.

“Well, that’s good.”

He swore he could still feel Thor’s fingers on his pulse long after he finally retracted his hand. It was a strange phantom touch that remained. It annoyed him a little bit, but at the same time, it was oddly… comforting? He took a few sips of his beer as Thor went to bed and he pondered when he ought to do the same.

[oingo233]

Rapture is a Boy (3)

Summary: Remus and you have always had a playful, loving relationship but his behavior around the full moon leads you to assume the worst. A huge fight ends with the two of you heartbroken. Will Remus reveal the truth behind his behavior?  And will you still love him afterwards or has he truly lost you forever?

Young Remus Lupin x Reader

Warning: angst, cuss words, self-doubt, angst, cheating, angst (but not as much as there will be later mwhahaha)  

Authors note: I try to keep my writing(self inserts) gender, body type, ethnicity and house neutral/not specified.  If I ever slip up please let me know so that I can change it.

Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five - Part Six - Part Seven - Part Eight

Word Count: 3k

                                                     Part Three

                           ****After All This Time, There is No Love****

The common room walls seemed to pulse with the vibrations of the song, every ear in the room being invaded with music, cheers, laughter, and somewhere for some odd reason, screaming.  Screams of joy of course. The party was alive and everyone had large smiles and butterbeer slipping through giggles or being shared through a kiss. This party would surely be talked about in the weeks to come.

But I was having a harder time of letting loose, and it would seem Lily is too.  For our very reason for throwing the party could not make it, so what the hell was the point?  Remus was off studying, James was off studying, so we had no lips to lock with our own, no body to dance and grip to, no one to have fun with in the way we wanted to tonight.  Lily was sipping on a butterbeer, staring at the portrait with me, hoping they’d walk through.

“Ladies...” A hufflepuff named Paul collided into our sides, looping his arms around our shoulder.  Lily to his right, I to his left.  He was staring drunkenly at the portrait with us, his eyes going large and then small, as if he was searching for something. “What are we doing?” He chuckles to himself.

“I mmmeann seriousllyy, if-if you’re waiting for a snnog anny onne here will step up.  Lilyy that is, she’s sinngle. I’d snnog you though (y/n) but Remmuss might tear mee apart-a-apart me.” He slurs, leaning in close to my face. “Pre,’ He mutters to himself “pretty,” he laughs again and saunters off, swaying his hips to the music, declaring he’ll chug another jug of butterbeer. I look at Lily and she stares back at me, mouth open and my own fighting a smile. Before we know it, we’re cackling like the bunch of witches/wizards we are.

“This is the worst, mission failed! M’ sorry Remus couldn’t make it,” Lily says, huffing hair out of her drink.  The fire burning only brought out the red of her hair, she looked apart of the flame herself.  I see why James was in love with her, she got her wits, charm, beauty, and kindness. So why would he miss this time to be with her?  Does Peter really need the whole lot of them?  

“mmmh,” I agree wordlessly, “M’ sorry James couldn’t.” She sighs into her drink, cheeks burning and she looks up at me.

“Me too.” She mumbles. I’m taken aback to say the very least.  I was always just teasing, I mean I had a hunch sure, but for her to really admit it. Well, I’m not proud to say that I stood there like a daft cow for roughly 5 minutes before she groaned and bumped her shoulder into mine. Hiding her smile and embarrassment with a final swig of her drink.  

“I- you- James?” Is all I can seem to get out of me, shock makes ya useless it seems.  She nods slowly.

“Yes, I thought you knew already.” She shrugs, turning towards the raging crowd of drunk witches and wizards.  

“Well, yeah..” I shrug just as cooly and she laughs, pushing me with her arm again.

“Stop, you did not because Remus doesn’t know, and you tell him everything.” She points out, but soon regrets it as my smile grows wickedly large.

“(y/n)!” But I was already half way through the portrait, muttering to myself just loud enough for her to hear.

“Remus! Remus, I’ve got to tell Remus!” I’m laughing hysterically as she chases me through the corridors, our robes trailing behind us like a little sea of black rolling by our angles.

“No! Please, don't!” She yells after me, both of us out of breath by the time we reach the same corridor as the library.  “I’ll hex you...” She glares at me as we walk swiftly up to the library doors.  Now, of course I would never ever snitch such a thing to anyone.  This is Lily’s long kept secret and when I had my unrequited love for Remus she didn’t go blabbering it to him or anyone else, so of course I would return the favor of silence.  My plan was to simply lead her to James, where they can now confess their undying love for one another after the secrets already out.  But she didn’t know this.

“You won’t hex me Lily dear, you’re not that against James knowing.  Why don’t you tell Remus yourself, or better yet, James!’’ I exclaim, smiling to myself for my own genius.  God, Remus will be in more of a shock than I, all the boys will, no one more than James. She tilts her head in disappointment directed at me, we raise our hands and together we open the doors.

We are first greeted with an indifferent glance in our direction from Pince.  We smile at her and nod our heads in her direction, then walk slowly (as in I’m matching Lily’s pace which is practically the march of dread) to the table the marauders usually sit. The table has all of our names scratched into the bottom.

I wish Lily would walk faster because I was bouncing to see Remus, he quickly apologized to me once again for being dismissive and it led to quite the kiss (or two) and left us with some unfinished business.  We turned the corner of a large bookshelf and where we were expecting to see the boys, we instead saw no one at all.

“Where are they?” I ask Lily, she shrugs beside me, just as confused.  Though her shoulders are slumped with either relief or disappointment, from the look on her face I can tell it is a mix of both. “Come,” I say wrapping my arm around her shoulder, “They’re bound to be here somewhere, yeah?”  She mumbled back a yeah to me, and together we searched the entirety of the library.

But it was a waste of time.  Hardly anyone was there, and certainly not the loud (yes, even when they study) boys we came here for.

But we did find someone of interest, walking back along the corridors we found someone perched by the window, staring out towards the forbidden forest, towards the shrieking shack. Lucy. Lucy is girl by the window. She looked worried.

I swallowed my pride and my anger. It’s irrational, I told myself, my emotions talking, not fact. I did all of this just to take two step towards her and ask a simple question.  But the answer was anything but.

“Are you okay? And before you lie to us, you should know that we genuinely are good listeners and I like to think quite non-judgmental and-” Though I swallowed so much, I could not swallow my stress ranting, the one that spawns when I am put in uncomfortable situations, such as this one. A curse truly. But thankfully Lily cuts me off.

“Yes, so uhm... are you?” Lily asks.  Lucy doesn’t even turn to us, she bites her lip and continues to stare out the window.  We almost go to ask again, thinking she hadn’t heard us.  But she starts speaking, her gaze never leaving the shack before her.

“I guess it’s always good to talk about our problems,” She laughs to herself, “Remus tells me that, says bottling things up only make it worse.  I’m worried about him actually.  Remus, do you know hi-” Her words fall short as she turns around and sees the expression on my face.  Remus.  She is worried about Remus, my boyfriend.  Why was she worried? Why was he not in the library where he said he would be?  What does Lucy know that I do not? 

Why does she care about Remus enough to sit and stare out of a window for hours? I quickly came back the conclusion that Remus was lying to me, about where he was, and who he loves. He has been cheating on me.

I stager backwards and Lily grasps my hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. 

“Are you two friends?” She asks, without venom or even a quiver in her lip, but I felt like my world was crashing down. I was thankful she asked the question because I wouldn’t have been as composed.

“Yes, er- sort of, closer than friends actually” She smiles to herself like she just said the sweetest thing. But it was just another stab to the heart, another hand constricting my throat.  Not very convincing Lucy, I think to myself. Lily squeezes my hand again and goes to lead us away but Lucy begins to speak again.

“You’re (y/n) right?” She knows me. She knows me?  I nod numbly and Lily quickly says goodbye for us, and rushes us away. She partly carries me through the portrait, I trail lamely behind her, not able of thought. She trudges us up the stairs to her bed where she promptly lets me sit and breakdown.

“Lily...” I don’t get to finish the sentence before she pulls me in for a hug, I didn’t realize how hard I was crying until my sobs made our shoulders hit into one another. She hugs me tighter, running her hands through my hair.  Shhhsing me softly, and whispering sweet things in my ear.

“I love him, I love him so much,” I cry out, fisting her shirt in my hands. I think I feel her wipe away a tear of her own. God, I must be such a mess to make Lily herself cry. But I am a mess.  I feel as though my very home has been taken away from me.  This boy I gave my heart to, this boy I gave my very own body and love to, was giving it all to someone else.  I confided in him, I trusted him, hell I’d even die for him.  But he was playing me, he was using me. I have been loving a stranger.

“He doesn’t love me...”Is all I can mumble to myself again and again, rocking in Lily's embrace. We lay there until sleep takes us. None of the girls wake us up whether I belonged in Lily's bed or not, they noticed the way my face seemed blotchy and I was frowning in my sleep.  But more than that they saw the tired look in Lily’s expression, and the rage hidden deep within.

I woke up to the sound of rustling clothes, and parchment.  The sound of the girls dormitory coming alive, and everyone preparing for the schools day ahead.  I didn’t want to wake up.  I wanted to lie there until I grew the strength to face my worst fear.  Until I grew the confidence to walk out there, to love myself again when I felt anything other than beautiful or good. I felt disgusting, what was wrong with me that would make Remus feel the need to be with another?  No, I didn’t want to get up until I was healed, until time would reverse itself completely.

But nonetheless I got up, because Lily was worried and Lily was watching and Lily was there to hold my hand and reassure me that I was wonderful, and worthy of love.  That it was Remus.  My Remus.  Lucy’s Remus, it doesn’t matter.  I love him, I still do.  After all that happened, I wish love was something I could tear from me and leave behind, but it was at first a beautiful flower in my heart and now it is just a dead weed stuck in cracks.  I will never be able to get it out.

Lily silently sits me on the edge of the bed. She fixes my hair for me, and wipes at my cheeks, and gives me a tissue.  I blow into it, she throws it out.  She kisses my cheek and waits for me to get dressed.  

At last, we make our way through the sea of students and staff to the great hall.  The laughter of fellow students makes the lump in my throat all that much larger.  My hands begin to shake and so Lily holds it within her own.

“Look at me love,” She says, “Remus does not deserve ya after the shite he pulled.  Ya need to talk to him love, you need to break up with him yeah?  Feel the freedom in your new single life and get out there.  Paul said he’d snog ya, yeah?” I know she was trying to make me feel better, and it almost worked.  Almost.  But I was still very much in love with him, I don’t know if I can move on.  After knowing Remus so intimately, how could I?  Nonetheless I swallow my despair and nod slowly to her.  She lets go of my hands and we walk straight to the Gryffindor table.  Straight to the boys.

My heart swallowed itself whole when I caught sight of Remus.  He looked tired, exhausted even.  His skin pale, and he looked in pain.  The other boys didn’t look any more alive, but they were laughing with one another, though in a more sedated way.  Remus was in his own world, reading a muggle book I gave him a while ago.  He promised he’d tell me all about it and that we’d find a way to watch the muggle movies when we can.  We never will.

My sadness is suddenly replaced with an intense anger.  With rage and hurt I walk right up to the table, I stand behind Remus. The other boys look up at Lily and me with easy smiles, but they drop as they soon further dissect our appearance and with it our mood. Sirius goes to wolf whistle as if he was excited by the fact one of the boys were about to get hounded into, but Lily raises a hand and stops all sound at the boys part of the table.

I clear my throat.  He is still reading, he smiles to himself as he reaches a rather humorous part of the book.  

“Remus,” I call, my voice sickly sweet, it seems to shock Lily. She begins to walk back, not wanting to be in the middle of the spitfire.  But the boys seems to soak in the scene with amusement. Remus hums in response, and puts his thumb near the edge like he does when he is about to finish a line and then close the book, but I was above waiting now.

“Could you Remus, for 5 seconds perhaps give me more attention when I speak to you than some fucking book.  It’s like I’m talking to a godamn wall!’‘ I lose my temper near the end, and now half of the table was staring at us.  Remus doesn’t even bother to mark the page, he places the book down and whips around to me with wide eyes. The boys no longer looking humored at all, everyone is giving me odds looks.  I’ve never once acted this way with Remus, all our previous arguments were resolved rather quickly.

“Great,” I smile too big at him, then turn to the boys. Every word dripping sarcasm and fake calm. Remus only frowns more, his eyes darting across my face and than to Lily searching for an answer.

“Now, could you all leave us be or are you going to be obnoxious flies on said wall while I speak to my boyfriend for the little amount of time I have managed to grab his attention?” I grit out every word, as if fighting my anger, I did not mean to be so hurtful but I am very hurt myself.  Did the rest of boys know about Remus cheating?  Instead of leaving, they stare at me in shock, after some time of staring James goes to ask why I am being so rude but I cut him off.

“You know what?” My voice cracks, I am losing my resolve.  With every second I spend staring deeper into Remus’s eyes my anger fades into sadness.  A great sea of sadness.  “Never mind, I am being rude. All of you can continue to ignore me completely, Remus, my love,” My voice cracks once again and I will my anger to come back so that I may do what I have to next.  “You keep reading that book of yours and for the love of god don’t stop for anything, I mean don’t ever stop because what on earth could be of a more pressing matter?  And boys, keep your sweet asses locked in place because I do always forget how much of fucking arseholes the whole lot of you are!” Remus stands up abruptly and caresses my forearm, he wishes for us to talk somewhere more privately but I jump back at his touch.   

My lips curl up in a snarl “We’re over Remus!  You cheat!  You fucking liar!”  I yell loud enough for the whole of Gryffindor table to hear, my anger has run from me completely and now nothing is left but Remus’s eyes staring deep into mine.  

His eyes, as they well up with tears and dart around the room.  His eyes growing red and defensive at all the people looking back at him. His eyes meeting mine once more, his mouth falling open and closing again.  He goes to speak, but at last, I watch as he can’t hold the tears back anymore. He rubs aggressively at his eyes, and rushes out of the great hall.  His friends racing after him, not before Sirius shoots me a dirty look and James questions Lily with his eyes.  

And then it was done. The students begin to whisper behind hands and poke their fingers in our direction.  The great hall filling up once again with chatter and gossip, I feel the color drain from my face and every feeling I previously had becomes overtaken with grief.  It is over.  I have lost him.  After all this time, there is no love.

Lily catches me before I fall.  She is now the one to rush me through the doors of the great hall, but we are stopped short.  Stopped by the sound of horrible, horrible sobs and 3 boys trying their hardest to silence them.  To comfort him. No pain in that moment would come to compare to the miserable feeling I’d carry around after that night.  After seeing him lying there, body racked with sobs because of me.

Sirius looks up, he looks as though he is in pain as he bounces his leg and runs a hand through his hair.  He looks around, anywhere but his broken friend.  But then our eyes meet.  

He begins to walk over to us, Lily stands as my guard.  But nothing could protect me from the onslaught that is an angry Sirius Black...

Taglist:

@crazylokonugget @beyondprincess @1975weasley​  @goto-hi-this-is-my-brain@nicodoesntexist

[mamavinevine]

"Capricorn Mood EP" 1 Year Anniversary: a message from the artist

A year ago today I did a very brave thing. Something my 17-year old self only ever dreamed of actually doing. Not only did I expressed my vulnerability through my music, but I shared it with the world. I told the entire world just how hurt and damaged and broken I was. How I was far from perfect, but a complete mess and emotional wreck. I told them what only I could. It truly was "the concessions of a heartbroken, grief stricken, hopeless romantic".

And honestly, it felt..... humiliating.

I immediately felt like I had made a mistake. Instead of congratulating myself for all of the money and effort spent on planning, executing and promoting the entire thing on my own, there I was wishing I could take it all back.

I can remember feeling this overwhelming shame that all everyone should ever see me as is this pathetic, spiteful crybaby who got her feelings hurt over a boy. Everyone who thought I was so strong and tough would discover that I was really just soft and fragile.

The whole thing just felt like one big cry for help. And the worst part was feeling like, even after all that, no one was coming to save me.

So then why not just delete everything? Take the whole album off all streaming platforms, remove all the visuals and photoshoots from my page and forget the entire thing ever happened? I'll tell you why...

"Capricorn Mood" was the untold story of my teenage self. The one who felt so alone and different from everyone else. Who bottled up everything inside and hid behind her talents because she didn't have anyone around to tell her how brave and inspiring and beautiful she was. Who rebelled against the social norms and made the necessary mistakes needed to grow up and be self sufficient as she learned she would need to be. Even if it meant learning them the hard way. It wasn't until recently I failed to realize just how much I had been through and all those years. How little I shared or even made an effort to heal. All I ever knew was to keep going and that this life didn't come with a savior, you just always had to look out for yourself. You can imagine how extremely lonely that felt. I really believed that it was pointless to share how I felt because nobody would care or even if they did, they wouldn't stop to help. I was like a beggar on the side of the road needing way more than just a few coins dropped inside my hat and a "good luck" as they walked off. I needed help. I needed support. I need love. I need to unlearn everything that I was taught and start over from scratch.

I guess in a way you could say the year 2020 felt like it would be the end of the world for all of us. So I needed to share how I felt before then. I needed to release all the hurt and finally let go. Truth be told, had I not felt that way I probably never would've released my EP.

I didn't care so much about it being perfect. I just wanted to get it out of my system. I wanted to unload the burden of all my past mishaps and say all the things I've always wanted to say. Including the things I myself needed to hear in order to change. And when it turned out that the world wasn't going to end after all, that's exactly what I did. It was time to clean up the mess I made and stop blaming others and playing the victim. So that instead of feeling embarrassed, I could feel empowered. Instead of feeling exposed, I could feel heard. Instead of feeling trapped inside the narrative others placed me in based off of that particular phase in my life, I could feel free.

And the response I received since then has made it very clear that I am not alone. In fact, I'm actually pretty relatable to all kinds of people with different backgrounds and demographics. It was beautiful. I felt like a god who created a safe space for people to feel everything no matter how discombobulated or or outlandish or unethical. Free your mind and let whatever's inside come out. Even if you're the only one who understands. Because we all have one life to live and if you're lucky enough, you get to tell your story along the way.

Happy birthday "Capricorn Mood" ✨

[alighieri-sparda]

A stinky devil and bath thoughts | Vergil x M!Reader

Summary: Vergil is all yours again. You decide to give him a relaxing bath to ease his mind — and get rid of that stinky smell of demonic creatures after a few months in Hell.

Masterlist | Rules | A simple gift for @mooshs-crack-headcanons

Happy birthday! And this time, with the real gift. xD I hope you enjoy this fluffy piece I wrote for you. I wish I could give you something better, but that’s what I got :’D You deserve only the best, Paul. You know it.~

It’s important to mention that I got the most of inspiration for this work from the ‘Washing a Devil’ series by Chrome, specially from this particular chapter. So, please, if you guys haven’t read it yet, please do! It’s really lovely.

Lots of a passionate Vergil under the cut. 

- - - - - -

Vergil is finally back. Back to the place he could always call home, the safest spot in the world for him: your gentle and comfortable arms. Vergil is finally back. Back to the place he could always call home, the safest spot in the world for him: your gentle and comfortable arms. 

When he crossed the front door of your house, the first thing you did before saying anything was holding him closely, kissing those soft lips of his you missed after several months without his presence. Vergil is your safe spot as much as you are his, and now you both feel complete.

However, something started to bother both of you when you separated the kiss: the smell of demon guts and sweat was not the most welcoming in the world. You didn’t mention it at first, but Vergil quickly realized how unfortunate this condition would be for you both and suggested to take a bath before doing anything else.

“Let me wash you then.” You smiled, your words sounded so pure and heartwarming to the half demon’s ears that he couldn’t help smiling as well.

[...]

You slide your hands down Vergil’s strong arms, taking the collar of his coat as a starting point to make his black piece of cloth fall on the floor. Then, you go to his buttoned shirt, unfastening it at a gentle pace. Your eyes gradually catch the sight of his torso as the shirt is unbuttoned, and you can’t stop admiring how gorgeous this man looks even so stinky and dirty.  

The man under your touch observes your actions in a calm state of mind which he hadn’t seen himself feeling in years. You had been waiting for him for months straight, and yet you don’t hesitate in slowing things down just to admire his presence, enjoying every inch of his body and every spectrum of his personality. A tranquil gaze rests on his eyes because he knows he’s safe with you. There’s no need to rush things.

Once the last button is finally unclasped, you let it fall over his arms, letting it join his coat on the floor. Vergil looks almost ashamed of looking like that; his torso is all grimy, even supposedly protected by his layers of clothes. You, on the other hand, don’t mind at all. The smile that draws onto your lips evidences your actual enjoyment of that situation. 

“How can you smile at this filthy situation of mine?” Vergil chuckles when he notices the happy tilt of your lips.

“Because I’m about to have a lot of fun washing you.” You explain, visibly excited for what is going to happen next. 

Vergil sighs as he watches your hands go to his belt and undo it in a blink of an eye, throwing it out of his waistband just as rapidly as you ease the grip of his pants around his hips. You welcome his relieved reactions with a kiss on his cheek.

“You’re enjoying it, aren’t you?” He asks, smirking at your playful expression.

“How couldn’t I enjoy you, Vergil?” You say as your fingers hook the waistband of his pants and his underwear at the same time, pulling them down in one single movement. He suddenly gets exposed, and it scares him a little bit. Even if it’s under your sight.

Instead of grinning back at Vergil’s perceptible shudder, however, you only smile softly, comforting him.

“Now let’s get you cleaned.”

Then you kiss his cheek again, encouraging him to keep going with that. It isn’t like he wasn’t enjoying it though.

In a few steps, Vergil sits in the bathtub previously prepared by you with a medium warm water level. He lets a heavy breath out of his lungs when he starts feeling cleansed after months stinking like demonic corpses. The smell is really not good, but you ignore it as much as you can. It’s not his fault anyway.

You turn the faucet that indicates hot water while bringing the bottle of shampoo and soap closer to your reach with your other hand. The sound of water falling and mixing with the one already in the bathtub fills the bathroom. When the water level rises enough, you turn off the faucet.

In the meantime, Vergil has closed his eyes, taking the opportunity to relax his muscles and enjoy being under your care again. The sweet smell of the soap and shampoo already enters his nostrils; he exhales at the good sensation being intensified by his temporary privation of sight. Then, he groans satisfied when the hot water suddenly falls on his scalp. Vergil wasn’t really paying much attention to the sounds around him.

Once you sit beside the bathtub, you pay attention to his head and face firstly. You let the water do the primary and simpler work as you gently rub your fingertips all over his face, cleansing the dirt stuck to his skin and some thin lines of dried blood all over his cheeks, jawline, and nose bridge. He leans his head back at your personal touch, sighing quietly.

“You look so beautiful.” You whisper unconsciously. 

Vergil doesn’t seem to notice your compliment. His eyes are still closed and his chest slowly moves up and down. You can tell he’s enjoying it.

After you’re done cleaning his face, your hands now reach his neck and shoulders. This time, instead of just rubbing only your fingertips on his skin, you use your entire palm to massage and cleanse the superficial dirt at the same time. Vergil’s muscles get a little tensioned when you first touch them, but he quickly relaxes them again against your gentle touch. Another satisfied groan says it all.

“I thought you wouldn’t accept me back, [Name].” He suddenly says, blinking slowly his eyes and looking at you after some time. “When Dante and I came back, I’ve already started to think that I would have to live with my brother. And I almost locked myself back in Hell again.”

You chuckle while you don’t stop the movements on his shoulders.

“I’d never let you do it to yourself, Vergil,” You giggle. Now, you take the shampoo bottle in your hands and squeeze it, letting a generous amount of shampoo fall on Vergil’s hair. Putting it back in place, your fingers finally run through his strands of hair, massaging and scouring his scalp. “Besides, being stuck in Hell wasn’t your fault. It’d be unfair not accepting you back.”

“Well… It actually was.” He answers in a more serious tone. “The Qliphoth only raised under my command, due to my uncontrollable pursuit of power. I don’t even deserve to be here, to begin with.”

Your fingers stop the massage for a while. One of your hands now touches the back of his neck as the other one gently fondles his cheek.

“But now it is in the past. You’ve certainly made mistakes through your path, everyone does at some point, but you’re here with me now. And that’s the only thing that matters.” You whisper. Unlike the past two times, now you prefer to kiss his soft lips instead of his cheek. A comforting peck to remind him how important he is to you. To remember he’s safe now.

You slide your hands over his damp skin, putting them back on his scalp once more. Vergil just sighs, clearly affected by your lovely words.

The grunts of satisfaction that Vergil lets out while you clean his hair make you want to stay that way forever, just listening to the sounds of his satisfaction as you enjoy the caress that you know he likes best, but you have more work to do.

That being said, you finally wash the shampoo away from his scalp, still massaging it to be sure you cleaned it completely. While your hands do the cleansing part, you observe Vergil’s expression again: he’s just like he was before talking to you, eyes closed and relaxed face. Another unconscious smile draws onto your lips. 

Your intention with all this is not only to clean him but also make him relax as much as you can. Because of that, you soap your hands and massage the skin of his face, neck, and shoulders with the soap that remains on your palms instead of scrubbing it directly on his body. Vergil visibly appreciates your action, taking a short breath as he feels the good smell of the soap purifying his body.

“[Name],” He mumbles your name suddenly. Probably asking for your attention.

“Hm?”

“Do you recall a tattooed man knocking on your door sometime before the incident?”

You can’t help but smile when you listen to his words. His point is already clear for you.

“Yeah, I do.” You answer as you keep your hand movements. Your fingers are now finishing up his shoulders area, just taking the opportunity to relieve the tension that remains in his muscles. “I almost couldn’t believe it when he said he was you.”

“But I knew you would do so.” A gentle smile crossed his face. “Besides thinking about my family, when I saw myself that incomplete, another important thought crossed my mind: checking if you were doing well. If my lack of presence didn’t put you into any dangerous situations.”

He searched one of your soaped hands, kissing the back of it. 

“I wanted to kiss you so much on that day. But you would fairly refuse my request.”

“Thanks for being aware of it,” You chuckle, embracing his shoulders even outside of the bathtub. “But I need to confess that seeing you as a smaller and more fragile man than me was a lovely sight.”

“Oh, you think so?” This time, the smile on his lips gets a more teasing tone. “How cute. But, honestly, I prefer to see you like the pretty fragile man here.”

“I know that.” You giggle in response. Then, you leave the embrace to catch the soap once more while you move your gaze all around the bathtub, looking for a good spot to position yourself for the next step of the bath. “Now I need to wash the rest of your body, but I can’t find any good position to do it.”

“Allow me to facilitate the things for you then.”

When Vergil says this, you first think that he would reposition his body in the bathtub to make your work easier somehow — and he did move, but not with the intentions you thought he would have. There is no time for you to react: in the blink of an eye, Vergil pulls you into the bathtub. You would be impressed, but Vergil is a half-demon after all. He always has at least a little bit of strength guarded in case he needs it.

“Hey--!” You even try to scold him, but it is in vain. When you come to your senses, you’re sitting on his lap, and your clothes are now sticking to your skin due to their soaking. When did he get that cheeky?

“So, is it better for you now?” You haven’t seen that playful grin in months. Although the situation is not the most satisfying in the world now — soaked clothes are not comfortable at all —, you can’t complain about it. It only shows you how much he missed your presence. 

“You…!” The laugh that comes up to your throat can’t be helped at all. “Jeez, you could have asked me for a shared bath before!” You didn’t mean to have one, but if that’s what he wants, now you have no choice but to give it to him. 

“Stop complaining and take off these soaked clothes.”

He didn’t even need to ask you this, to begin with. You don’t get out of the bathtub to take them off, just getting rid of them quickly and then throwing them to the same point where Vergil’s clothes were left before. 

Once you are completely bare, Vergil gives you no time to react again: he kisses your lips passionately as he lets his hands explore your body freely; his smooth yet audacious hands make your body shiver in surprise, feeling his fingertips reach your chest, back and then your waist, the place he rests his arms around when you separate the kiss.

“I missed you.” He whispers against your lips, holding you even closer as you embrace his shoulders once more, but this time it feels a lot better. Vergil has never been this talkative before, even with you, so this sentence of his is already proved to you due to his previous attitudes. 

You whisper as sincerely as he did: “I missed you too.” 

Vergil slowly puts himself back in his previous position, forcing you to break that embrace. His gaze follows your body up and down as he comforts your legs across his lap.

“Now you can finish your work.” He smiles at you softly.

The next couple of minutes are all about you doing to his chest, back and arms the same as you did previously, gently removing the superficial dirt with your fingers, letting the water help you with that. Your touches keep the intimate intention by massaging his muscles and cleansing them with the soap in your palms as a happy smile crosses your face every time you hear a satisfied or relaxed hum coming from him.

Although the relaxation you provided him during this whole process, you notice that Vergil is still awake when you announce that you’re done with his bath. He blinks slowly after minutes straight with his eyes closed, looking directly at you again. 

Before he can say anything, it’s now your turn to surprise him with a kiss. Vergil looks so adorable under your care, with his guard completely off and heart opened, just for you.

“You smell so good now.” You giggle against his lips after this last kiss.

“Thanks to you, of course.” He winks.

“Listen, I could stay like that with you all night long, but I prefer our bedroom to do so.” You slowly get out of the bathtub, taking the towel in your hands on your way. “You can get up now. I’ll just get some dry and clean clothes for us both.”

Once you’re standing beside the bathtub and move your body to go to your bedroom, a strong hand grabs your wrist, stopping you where you are.

“I surely can leave the bathtub. But I need to do something before wearing any clothes.”

Your night is far away from finishing there because Vergil did miss you. In all of your ways.