#i will only give context for the inside jokes if i am asked for it. and i doubt i will be

[babydollmarauders]

BALLAD OF A HOMESCHOOLED GIRL — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n goes on a date with Jack and thinks she made a complete fool of herself

notes: obviously inspired by Ballad of a Homeschooled Girl by Olivia Rodrigo, not proofread and written on extreme sleepiness. (3.6k words)

third dates.

my mother always told me to have them in group settings.

she said the first date is to get to know each other; the second is to learn how he’d treat you in private; the third date is to learn how he’d treat you in front of his friends.

most guys seem to get intimidated when i ask about joining a hang out with his friends for the third date, but Jack was different. i had told Jack on our first about my rules.

first date in a public setting, but alone.

second date in private, his apartment or mine.

third date with a group of friends.

i hadn’t expected him to take it so well, nodding along as though even without context, it made sense. he didn’t ask for clarification, which was good because i had learned after my last relationship not to give any; lest they’ll act like a gentlemen in front of their friends until we start dating.

i honestly didn’t expect Jack to contact me again, fully awaiting the discovery that he’d ghosted me, possibly even blocked me to keep me from talking to him again. but then he texted me tonight.

“i know it’s last minute, but third date tonight? me and some guys from the team are going for drinks, would you wanna come?”

and now here i am, walking into a pretty secluded bar to meet Jack and about half a dozen other professional hockey players. to say i’m nervous would be a massive understatement.

i spent at least half an hour trying on various outfits, but nothing felt right. every article of clothing i tried on had something wrong with it; whether it be that it didn’t fit quite right, or it didn’t match the occasion, or i just deemed it didn’t look good on me, something was always wrong. so i finally settled on a nice sundress, despite the chilled air of the evening.

“y/n!” my head turns in search of the voice that called my name, locking eyes with Jack, where he sits at a high top table with five other guys. “i was starting to think you’d stood me up!”

my eyebrows furrow as i walk over to him, stopping at the end of the table. my stomach ties in knots at all of the eyes on me. i hate attention.

“why would i do that?” a few of the guys chuckle at my question, but i’m not sure i understand what’s so funny.

“i was joking.” Jack clarifies.

oh.

embarrassment washes over me and i can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, but Jack just smiles sweetly, rising to his feet and pulling out the chair beside him.

“oh, thank you.” i take a seat and he returns to his, his hand settling on my knee as one of the guys begin to speak.

“so, you’re y/n?” my eyes go wide, and i glance over at Jack but he’s looking over at the other guy. “i’m Luke.”

“nice to meet you, Luke.” i give the curly headed boy a tight smile, “so, you play with Jack?”

the boy grins, nodding his head, “i guess you could say that.”

everyone snickers, and i fear i’ve made a mistake of some sort. my blood runs cold; i hate feeling like i’m on the outside of some giant inside joke.

maybe this was a mistake.

Jack squeezes my knee, and i look over at him with subtly pleading eyes, silently begging for him to save me.

“Luke is my younger brother, but he does play on the team with me.” there it is. that’s where i messed up.

“oh, i’m sorry.” i’m not sure what i’m apologizing for, but it seems like the right thing to do. i glance back at Luke, “i knew Jack had mentioned your name before but, he’s mentioned so many names that at this point they all jumble together in my head.”

Luke just shakes his head, waving it off. “nah, don’t worry, it’s okay.”

after that, i decide it’s better to go quiet; only really speaking when spoken to. i can’t embarrass myself if i’m not saying anything.

“hey.” Jack’s voice is soft, and at first, i don’t even realize he’s talking to me, until i tear my eyes from who i now know as Dawson, who’s telling a story with wildly gesturing hands. “do you wanna go get a drink?”

he nods his head over towards the bar, and i nod, desperately in need of something to ease my nerves, “yes, please.”

Jack and i rise from our seats, his hand going to my lower back to stabilize me as i stumble. my cheeks go red, but i decide it’s better not to acknowledge my clumsiness.

“and i��� where are you guys going?” Dawson cuts himself off, drawing attention to Jack and i’s retreating pair. “did i bore you, y/n?”

i stop in my tracks, freezing up as guilt takes over me.

“i- what? n-no! Jack-” i stumble over my words in a panic, attempting to reassure him, but apparently i didn’t help my case.

“see, Merc! poor y/n even finds your story stupid.” John laughs and i shake my head wildly.

“no! i found it interesting!” Nico snickers at my words, his hand coming up to cover his mouth.

“interesting. that’s one way of putting it.”

oh god, i made it worse.

“guys, leave her alone.” Jack speaks up, rolling his eyes at his friends before he turns back to me. “c’mon, ignore them, they’re just raggin’ on you.”

my brows thread together in confusion, but i nod nonetheless, allowing him to use his hand that still rests on my back to guide me over to the bar.

“i’m sorry about them.” he sighs as we reach the counter, waiting for a bartender. “they have a stupid sense of humor.”

“no! no, it’s fine!” i assure him.

it’s not them, it’s me.

i’ve never been great at picking up on social cues, perhaps due to my odd lifestyle as a child.

when the bartender reaches us, Jack orders another beer before looking over at me, “oh, can i just get an aperol spritz, please?”

Jack hands over his card and when he gets it back he turns to me.

“i gotta run to the bathroom, are you okay waiting for the drinks? i’ll be back in a second.” i nod and he takes off towards the restroom, leaving me alone.

“so, you like him?” apparently not alone for long.

i turn my head in surprise, only to find Luke standing beside me. he asks the bartender who arrives back with Jack and i’s drinks for another beer and the man nods.

“hmm? Jack?” Luke nods and i smile looking down into my glass. “yeah, i really like him.”

“see, i said so!” my face scrunched in confusion as i look back at him.

“you said so?” i question.

“yeah! Johnny was trying to say you must not like him because you aren’t being very flirty, but i told him- i said you obviously like him if you’re on a third date.”

flirting.

i’ve never been great at that. and i haven’t needed to be, Jack is the one who approached me first, he’s the one who asked me out and he hasn’t given any indication that i have any reason to have to flirt to keep his attention.

“oh.”

Luke pays for his beer before retreating back to the table with a low “see you in a few.”

i’m quick to tear my phone out of my pocket, glancing over towards the restrooms for a moment to make sure my date isn’t coming back before making a quick google search.

this seems impossible.

“hey.” Jack reappears beside me and i hastily lock my phone, looking up at him as i go to slide it back into my pocket. but the combination of my fidgety hands, quick movements, and not paying attention to my surroundings doesn’t end well.

before i can even blink, my hand is knocking into my glass, the drink sliding off the bar top and onto the floor, shattering upon impact.

“oh my god!” i squeal, jumping back from the broken shards. i glance down at the mess before looking back up at Jack. “i am so sorry!”

i turn to the waitress who comes rushing towards us with a broom and towels, apologizing profusely and offering to clean it up myself.

“it’s no problem, happens all the time.” she tells me with a smile, but i still bury my face in my hands.

i’m making a fool of myself.

“can we get another aperol spritz?” i peek through my eyes at the sound of Jack’s voice, watching as he hands the bartender his card again.

“i am so sorry, Jack.” my voice is low and whimpered, my shoulders rising as though to protect myself. “i just wasted your money and made a huge mess.”

Jack smiles softly, shaking his head as he chuckles, “don’t worry about it. it’s seriously okay, y/n. accidents happen, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

i nod, but i truly feel horrible now.

this was a mistake. i should’ve just stayed home; watched a cheesy romance or read a true crime novel and gone to bed early.

the bartender hands me the new drink, and i thank him before Jack leads me back to the table.

“everything okay?” Timo questions as we return and Jack just nods as we settle back in our seats.

“yeah, just a little accident. it’s all good.” the guys chuckle but all turn back to their previous conversation, somehow now on the topic of the wildest things they did in school.

i stay silent, hoping and praying to any higher power that they don’t involve me in this conversation, but my luck runs out pretty quickly. although i’m not sure i’ve had any tonight in the first place.

“what about you, y/n?” Nico is the one to rope me in, “what’s the wildest thing you did in school?”

“i- uh-” i internally cringe, mentally preparing myself for their jokes, “i was homeschooled. so, i didn’t really get to do anything crazy like you guys.”

“ohh, you’re a homeschool kid.” Luke nods as if it makes sense.

“did you know that statistically speaking, homeschoolers are more likely to graduate than public schoolers?” John pipes up, and i shake my head.

“really?” Jack questions, his nose scrunched cutely in disbelief.

“no, i- uh, i didn’t know that.” John nods at my words.

“yeah, look it up!” he points to my phone, which never actually made it to my pocket after the broken glass fiasco and now resides face down on the table.

i pick it up and Jack and Dawson, who both reside on either respective side of me, lean in to see my phone screen, eager to find out whether their teammate is correct.

but when i unlock my phone, my eyes grow wide and i’m eagerly attempting to swipe out of the current window, but it’s as if the world is against me because this is the exact moment that my phone screen decides to freeze.

“does that say ‘how to flirt?’” Dawson chuckles and i bite my lip, giving up and slamming my phone face down onto my lap as the table bursts into laughter.

i’m blushing like a mad woman, squeezing my eyes shut as i bury my face into my hands for the second time that night.

“aww y/n, you really let John get to you, huh?” Luke teases, and i feel like i could cry of embarrassment.

everything i do is tragic.

suddenly my seat is moving, scooting further to my right, before an arm is spindling around my waist. i let my hands lower just slightly to peer up at Jack, who wears a happy grin, his cheeks tinged pink.

he glances down at me, smiling even wider when he sees that i’m already looking at him.

it’s like a cat’s got my tongue, too stunned by the overwhelming mortification of the situation to even get a word out to explain or defend myself.

but Jack doesn’t seem to mind, pulling me into his body until my head is against his collarbone as he changes the subject; bringing up a story about he and his older brother trying to free an infant Luke from his crib when they were younger.

i’m quiet as the group speaks, most of them speaking over each other, which in turn makes others get louder to try and be heard. my head aches and i need a break.

“i’m gonna go to the bathroom.” i whisper, freeing myself from Jack’s hold as he nods in understanding.

“okay. are you okay?” i give him a small smile, reassuring him that i’m fine before i leave.

my hands rest upon the bathroom sink, my eyes glaring into my reflection in the wonky bar mirror.

“get it together.” i try and tell myself, but it comes out in more of a whine.

why am i like this?

i run my hands through my hair, making sure it’s volumized, and heave out a sigh before i make my way back out of the restroom to join the table again.

on my way back, i can’t help but smile at the sight of Jack laughing with his friends.

he seems so carefree.

but i should’ve been watching where i was going, because halfway to the table, i’m tripping over someone’s heeled foot, landing on my knee on the hard ground.

“oh shit!” Jack’s voice echoes over the loudness of the music and bar-goers, and i can hear multiple chairs screech across the floor. “y/n, are you okay?”

oh god, i wanna curl up and die.

“yeah, i’m fine.” my voice is wavering and weak, so over making an idiot of myself tonight.

Jack appears in front of me, holding his hands out to help me up. his skin is soft as i slide my hands into his, allowing him to pull me up to my feet.

his friends stand behind him, a couple biting back laughs, but the others wide eyed in concern.

i let Jack guide me back to the table, and when i sit down, he’s kneeling in front of me, inspecting my knee for any immediate bruising or marks.

i sigh and he looks up at me, worry settled into his expression.

“that was a hell of a tumble.” Timo snickers, but he sobers up quickly as his eyes meet Jack’s, “you’re okay though, right?”

“physically? yes. mentally? questionable.” the table laughs, but i didn’t mean to joke, which only makes me press my lips together.

Jack finally deems my knee okay, settling back into his seat and letting his arm rest over the back of my chair.

“what were we talking about?” Jack asks, effectively diverting the attention away from my fall and back to the conversation from while i was gone.

“cheating.” John states, taking a sip from his beer.

i let out a little laugh, thinking he was just joking, but i sober up as i realize nobody else is.

“oh, you were serious.” i bite my lip as he nods.

“right!” Luke exclaims, “so people are saying he cheated on her?”

“yeah,” Dawson nods, and i’m a bit lost, “which i don’t understand, because all he did was hold hands with the other girl. we don’t know anything other than that. holding hands could have so many different meanings.”

i take a big gulp of my drink, listening intently as the guys debate cheating and what counts as cheating.

“i think, if one of you guys cheated on your girlfriend, i might ‘accidentally’ knock your teeth out on the ice.” Nico tells them, making the guys and i laugh. “i’m serious, you’d be bag skating until you physically drop from exhaustion.”

and like word vomit, before i can stop myself, i’m speaking, “my friend recently cheated on her boyfriend, and i can’t tell if i should tell him or let him find out on his own.”

their heads turn to me and i shrink in my seat as i realize what just escaped my lips.

“oh my god, i’m not supposed to be telling that to anyone.” my hand covers my mouth, and a few of the guys laugh at my actions.

“you should definitely tell him.” John shrugs, “he deserves to know.”

“i thought so too, but if i do tell him, does that make me a horrible friend?” the guys all start shouting different things along the same lines.

some telling me it doesn’t make me a bad friend, while others telling me that i shouldn’t be friends with her anymore anyways.

“has she done anything else?” Luke asks, and i scrunch my nose.

“cheating wise, no: just one drunken kiss with some guy.” i start. “but she told him she was sick to get out of meeting his parents.”

i clap my hand over my mouth again, shocked that these secrets are just tumbling out of me.

“fuck, i shouldn’t be telling you guys these things.”

the guys cackle and Dawson changes the subject, apparently just remembering a story of something that happened to him back home over the summer.

i remain quiet for the next fifteen or so minutes, just listening as the guys go back and forth, telling stories of their summers, until i feel Jack’s hand on my shoulder.

“hey, i’m heading home, do you want me to drop you off at your house?”

i eagerly accept his offer, happily willing to leave now and avoid paying for an uber during surge pricing. the both of us bid goodbye to his teammates and his brother, who says he’ll hitch a ride back to the apartment with Dawson, before we head out to his car.

i smile as he opens the car door for me, allowing me to climb in before he shuts the door again and jogs around the front of the car, slipping into the drivers side.

i don’t need to give him my address, our second date having been at my apartment, so i just clasp my hands tightly together in my lap, both of his on his steering wheel.

“i had fun tonight.” he tells me as we pull up to my apartment building.

“yeah, your friends are nice.”

not a complete lie. they are nice, i’m just not sure i got along with them, or more so, that they liked me.

“can i walk you up?” i accept his request and he exits the car, running around it to open my door before i get the chance to.

i mentally prepare myself on the silent elevator up to my apartment, readying myself to have him tell me that he doesn’t think we fit.

i was awkward tonight, breaking a glass, stumbling over my words, tripping, googling things that should be common knowledge, and telling secrets i had no business telling.

i couldn’t think of any worse ways to ruin a potential relationship.

when we reach my apartment, Jack stops me in front of my door, and before he gets the chance to belittle my dignity any further than i, myself, already have, i’m speaking up.

“i completely understand if you don’t wanna continue this.” i sigh, finding sudden interest in my shoes. “i made a complete fool of myself tonight.”

“why would you think i don’t wanna see you again?” he sounds hurt, his finger hooking under my chin and pulling my head up to look at him.

i chuckle lowly, “you can’t take me anywhere. every time i go out, it’s social suicide.”

“so you’re a bit clumsy and you need time to click with my friends and their humor, so what?” he shrugs, “i think you’re cute. and i’m incredibly honored that you wanted to flirt with me.”

i groan, my face flushing, and i tip my head back to look up at the ceiling.

“oh god, that was so embarrassing.” i whine.

“it was sweet.” Jack chuckles, pulling me into his chest. his arms wrap around me and i melt into his embrace, his chin resting on top of my head.

“i really like you, y/n. and tonight may not have gone the way you would’ve liked, and i can respect that, you’re allowed to feel that way, but i really liked it. i got a chance to figure out more about you and what you’re like, and it only solidified that i’d really like to keep getting to know you, see where this could lead.”

my head snaps up to look him in the eyes, “you would?”

he giggles at my actions, nodding his head. “yeah, i would.”

his head dips down and i suck in a breath as his lips near mine.

“can i kiss you?” he questions, and i nod.

“yes, please.”

his lips slot against mine, moving in sync and pulling me even closer to him if it’s possible. his hands slide up to cup the back of my neck, his tongue tracing my bottom lip and i part my lips to allow him entrance.

what starts slow and passionate, turns into something hot and heavy. i huff as he pulls away, my lips chasing after his and making him smile.

“do you wanna come inside?” i ask him, my voice low and sultry, and his eyes darken almost instantly.

he smirks, answering only by taking my keys from my hands and unlocking my door, leading me into my own apartment.

“ya know, i don’t think you needed that google search. you’re pretty good at luring me in all on your own.”

[goldenhourwriter]

•✮🕷️𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐤𝐢𝐝🕷️✮•

part one (you are here) • part two •

⋆pairing: miguel o’hara x wife!reader

⋆warning(s): i guess just fighting and some cursing. and threatening to bite someone lol. also i got translations from spanish dict, if i did something wrong, please correct me. i tried to use the right definitions/context to use those definitions in! also pregnancy.

⋆a/n: this was so fun to write! requests are open, and i am new to this blog, so hang on while i get this all figured out. requests are open, and this will be a mini series i am continuing!!

It’s not usually this quiet at the Spider Society.

It’s nice.

I walk around, humming softly to myself as I munch on a banana, a craving I usually get. I let my hand rest on my slightly swollen belly, my suit especially made to let it stretch and give the baby some room.

Yeah, ever heard of a pregnant Spider-Woman?

It happened a couple of months ago, as married couples tend to let happen. It’s twins, actually. One boy and one girl, but, my husband doesn’t know yet. Doesn’t want to know. I called the doctor anyways, and even though he threw a hissy fit that could rival a toddler, he relented and said it was fine.

And, it was kind of nice being alone. A lot of the spider-people tend to do things for me, think I’m incapable of doing things now because I’m pregnant. Even the ridiculous Spider-Man T-Rex gave me a ride through the halls. I snort at the thought, gaining some weird looks.

Obviously, I didn’t refuse. Who would pass up a ride on a freaking dinosaur?

My few 30 minutes of bliss, however, was interrupted by the beeping on my watch. I tap on it and smile when I see Lyla. She gives a wave.

“Hey, big wifey,” she teases, pushing up her pink, heart-shaped glasses. I roll my eyes. Everyone knows I hate that name. It doesn’t make me feel fat, it just makes me very aware of the two babies living inside of me, and how very uncomfortable life can really get.

“Hey, algorithm girl, what’s up?” I shoot back with sarcasm. I am met with satisfaction as she gives me a dead-pan look.

“Haha, very funny, love that,” she says sarcastically. “Your husband is struggling with an anomaly. Earth-65, some kind of Renaissance bird-man.”

I giggle at the thought. I can imagine his annoyance. “Gotcha, and did he actually call for back up?” I ask, but i already know the answer. I take another bite of my banana, shifting my weight onto my right leg. I can never stand still for too long, luckily, being a super hero can keep me moving. Keeps the babies satisfied.

She snorts at me, like i was making some hilarious, un-heard of joke. I relent, sighing and preparing my bracelet to go to the universe she said he was in.

“Alright, alright. How long do you think until he actually asks?”

“I’d give you about two minutes. He’s getting really thrown around with this one. And there’s another spider person, trying to ask him too many questions.”

My eyes perk back up to the hologram when she mentions this. “I haven’t heard of a recruit from Earth-65, is she new?” I ponder out loud. I cock my head to the side, adjusting my mask. Well, half mask. It really only covers my eyes. Lyla nods. “Yup, she’s a new one. She’s a nice kid, too.”

I smile.

“I’ll be there in a minute.”

Lyla logs off and I sigh, patting my baby bump. “Alright, you guys,” I whisper to my belly. I stick out my hand and the portal opens, and I jump in. I shout with joy, flying through the portal, and as I practically fall to the other end, my hair whips around.

I fall on the other end, and I groan as my hair blocks my vision. I hear grunting, crushing, wings flapping, and snappy remarks being thrown about, but I can’t see anything. I flip my hair over my head, shaking it out.

“I need a hair tie on these things,” I mumble to myself.

I look over, and I see a feminine-looking spider-hero staring at me. I give her a small wave. Her eyes are wide, I can tell. I examine her suit, which seems like it holds up pretty well. It has hood, which is new to me, and she’s wearing…are those ballet flats? I smile

“Hey, babes! You look cute!” I compliment to the get up.

She waves back again, and she looks down at my stomach. “Are you….?” She trails off. I look down, and put a hand on my hip. “Yep, I am. It’s twins, but don’t tell my husband the sexes yet. He wants to wait.” She nods, but seems to remember that she doesn’t know just who my husband is. She takes a step towards me.

“Who are you married to? Are there even more people like us?” I nod.

“My husband’s right….” I don’t even flinch as he gets thrown into the wall right in front of me, and I smile. “There.”

He groans as he slips to get up, his mask eyes squinting at me. I squint my eyes right back.

“Don’t give me that look. I’m carrying your children,” I scold. He gestured to the giant creature that hurls towards us. “I need help here!” He shouts at me. Lyla puts up on my shoulder, and we both cross our arms. He sighs, looking down.

“Please, Y/N? Sabes que no me gusta mendigar,(You know I don’t enjoy begging),“ He pleads quietly.

Vulture screeches at us. “Love truly makes me sick,” he narrates out loud, and he reaches his talons out for me. I stuck out my wrists and web up one wing, so he goes sideways, just barely missing me. He breaks free, but I web up behind him again.

“Your attitude makes me sick!” I shout at him. “You seem like the Beethoven of your area, jerky, cold, and not the greatest people-person!” I struggle to speak as I try to web him up again, but it doesn’t work. He barrels towards me, and grabs me in his talons. I hear Miguel growl and leap off the ground, landing on his back. He tugs on the man’s feathers, making him spin around to try and find him. I take the opportunity to web myself away from his grasp, kicking him away as I do so.

“Is this guy made of paper?” I ask, rubbing my hands together as I take a moment to actually register what just happened. Miguel grunts, and yells as he speaks to me from the bottom of the building. “Honey, I love your voice, but I really need you to use your actions right now!”

I spot a few witnesses trapped behind some rubble, so I shoot off the side of the wall to swoop them up. They scream, clutching onto me, and I drop them off right by a big police officer. He gawks at me, and I give him salute as Miguel webs me up again. I twist up, getting wrapped in his webbing, and I break free using a kick, hitting Vulture square in the jaw with my foot. He grunts in pain, squeezing his eyes shut, and Miguel uses this moment to try and guide him down, so he won’t escape.

I land right next to, what’s her name? I’ll learn it soon enough. I land right next to the teen as she stares at me. I smirk at her.

“What, never seen two married spiders?”

She swallows. “Can you adopt me?”

“What?”

“What? Nothing! Nothing!”

Miguel groans, and I can tell he’s growing tired. “¡Por Dios! ¿Puedes dejar de hablar por un momento? (Oh, my God. Can you stop talking for a moment?)” He calls out to me. I let out a heavy sigh, putting my hands on my knees. “I’m sorry, but your babies are making it hard to move right now!” I shout at him. Gwen webs away from me, and Miguel lands right next to me again. “Last time I checked, it took two people to make those two babies,” he grumbles. We take a moment and watch as Gwen tries to take down Vulture by herself.

I look at Miguel, and raise my eyebrows. “Did she call ya ‘Dark Garfield?’” I ask. He groans, and I can tell hair eyes shut as his head falls forward. “Yes.”

I giggle. “I like her. Maybe we can recruit-“ “No. No, we can’t, and you know why.” My somewhat playful attitude disappears with a frown, and I nod in compliance. He grabs my waist and he swings us up, and then we fall onto the Vulture back again. I scream through gritted teeth as I try to hold him down on the ground, but he flings me off, a sudden, new found strength in him.

“What the hell?” I curse. “Not cool, man!”

“This ends now,” he says to me, and he springs upward. I curse under my breath again, but it seems Miguel is on top of it. Literally.

“If he gets out, this whole universe will collapse!” He shouts, mainly at Gwen. I know the risks involved, having to save almost every universe from them every day. I shoot my wrist out, but I groan. I hit my web shooters, but nothing comes out. “Fuck-Miguel! I’m out!” I try to jump from floor to floor, but I quickly get nauseous while doing that. I look down at my stomach again, poking it. “So web slinging is fine but jumping is what doesn’t please you guys?” I ask the unborn babies. I get a mere kick in return. “I know that was the girl. That was way too sassy,” I grumble to myself.

Spider-Girl lands right beside me, and she looks at my husband and he battles Vulture. They both crash right through the glass ceiling, and we shield ourselves from the shards that could possibly cut us. She looks at me.

“What is he gonna do?” She asks. Miguel takes the Vulture’s face in his hands, and opens his mouth, wide, baring his fangs and giving a loud roar. “Oh snap,” whispers under his breath. But, he’s cut short, when a helicopter shines a light on him. He yells at the helicopter, his mask coming up again to cover his face.

“I’m a good guy! I’m here to help!” He desperately explains. My spider senses then go off, and I scream up to Miguel.

“Miguel! Watch-!“

I’m too late. Vulture throws two weapons at the helicopter, and then the helicopter starts to spin, going down, and fast.

“Shit.” All three of us say in unison.

I look to the kid, and she’s already looking at me. I nod towards her, and she returns the gesture, and we both know what that means. She launches off the floor, and she begins to web a net. I take a deep breath. “Alright, babies, don’t make me throw up,” I say sternly to my unborn babies.

I leap off the ground, and I fly through the middle of the helicopter, grabbing the two pilots and landing on the fourth floor of the building. I grunt as I roll on the ground with them, and we writhe in pain.

I turn to the both of them, checking on them, and I run to the edge, well, the mess that made the edge. I look down, and the teenage girl is flying through the air, webbing up a net. And just as the helicopter is about to crash, she flies right underneath it, just barely getting nipped by the chopper.

She lands, breathing heavily.

“Wow,” I whisper. Miguel hops a bit in front of me, landing on some rubble.

“I was gonna do that,” he says quietly to himself. I can tell he’s thinking her, thinking about her hard. Miguel and I share a glance at her, and she nods. She turns and hops down from the huge rock, and goes back towards the wall, out of sight. I turn and see the two pilots staring at me. I smile.

“Yeah, I know, there’s lots of freaky spider people, that was my reaction too. Cmon, let’s get you two a medic.” I reach down and offer my hand to them, which they take, one at a time. I help them to the big opening in the building where the door used to be, and I hand them over to some officers.

I sigh, turning around to find my husband surveying the area.

I walk up to him, putting a hand on his back, feeling his tense and rigid muscles, alert and still in attack mode. He seems to relax a little at my touch, and he lets his mask down. I grin, amusement

“Your hair is all messed up.” “Can you and I have one good moment after a battle where you don’t make fun of my hair?” “Absolutely not.”

He lets out a low growl, rolling his eyes. I walk a little in front of him, and stare at the place where the teen escaped to, hearing some grunting from there. No doubt she’s recovering on her own. My hand comes to rest on my stomach, my thumb running over the bump. I turn back to Miguel, my mouth open to speak, but he beats me to it.

“I said no,” he rejects me as he leans down to pick up some broken machinery. He scoffs at some poor excuse for art. “I’m starting to think Vulture did everyone a favor by destroying this place, this art sucks-“

“Miguel O'Hara, no cambies de tema,” I say sternly. He lets out a sigh. Spanish isn’t even my main language, so when I speak it, he knows I’m not messing around. He spins around, holding a figurine of a balloon dog in his hand. I would find it comedic, a big guy like him holding a small thing like that, but not when he’s trying to avoid my questions.

“You know we can use her. I’ve never seen anything like her, and she even beat you to one of your moves. You have to agree with me on this!” I gesture out in front of me, as if the conversation is laid out in front of us. Miguel sighs, walking up to me with his hands on his hips. His expression is hard, but his eyes give it away. He’s considering it, it helps if I’ve spent about a couple years with him now.

He brings his hand to my waist and another to my hair, leaning down to press a kiss to my forehead.

“Te amo demasiado a veces,” he mumbles into my hair.

Okay, that gives me absolutely nothing.

His hand travel down to my stomach, and his two very large hands splay over my tummy. His lips quirk up a bit as one of them kicks against my skin. “Did you do okay today?” He asks quietly, referring to my very pregnant self. I nod, but it doesn’t seem to reassure him.

Vulture struggles next to us, but we just give him an annoyed look. “I’m done with your attitude!” Miguel tells him, pointing at him. He sighs, turning back to me, grabbing my waist and pulling me impossibly closer, so we’re basically sharing the same breathe. My stomach flutters. Even after marrying him, he really can have the same affect on me from when I was a new recruit.

“You know you can always opt out whenever, I can call for other backup,” he says quietly. He’s trying to spare my feelings, not letting others hear so I won’t get embarrassed. I’m never embarrassed, it’s life, I got pregnant, but I appreciate the sentiment. I lean up and kiss his nose.

“I know, thank you, but really, I’m fine.” I stick a hand up as he begins to protest. “At 7 months, I will take maternity leave. I’ll rest and just be the desk person, okay?” I ask. He debates it for a moment, and lets out a grunt and nods. We stay in our somewhat embrace for a bit, when we hear a gun shot. My head whips to where Spider-Woman went and hid, and I look at Miguel.

His mask forms again, and he kicks Vulture, telling him to be still as he picks him up. Miguel picks me up with his other arm and swings to the opening as we fall in.

“Dad, please!” She begs the cop standing across from her. Miguel shoots a containment pod at him, and she runs towards him. I grab her by the shoulders, trying to use my softest voice.

“Hey, hey, kid. Hey, it’s okay, we’re here, we got you,” I say quietly to her. She’s crying as she clutches onto my arm, staring at her dad. Miguel opens a portal, and I give the kid one more pat and walk over to him.

“What are we gonna do?” I whisper to him. He looks at me. “What do you mean?”

I roll my eyes.

“We can’t just leave her here!” I get a bit louder, but he shushes me, putting a finger up. My jaw drops.

“You did not just shush me,” I growl.

“Oh, I think I did.”

“Oh, I know you didn’t-!”

Miguel and I bicker back and forth, and at some point, Vulture voluntarily hops into the portal, all tied up, not wishing to stick around. I stick my finger up as I try to argue with him, my hand coming to my hip, and he towers over me, but that never took away my edge.

Then, some sniffling gets us to shut up.

The kid looks at us, her eyes watery and wide. She looks like what she is…a teenager who’s lost and alone. She opens her mouth to speak. “I-I don’t know what to do.”

I look slowly at Miguel, and he lets his head hang forward.

“Yeah, well….”

I raise my eyebrows at him.

“Join the club.”

🕷️ 💍

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/763697061137940480/

Well, forgive me for not feeling too bad about making one stupid shipping joke in the cafeteria and causing offense to someone who overheard my conversation with a friend. And you know what? I had to politely explain to her that it was a joke and that I didn't mean anything by it as she tried to equate whateverthefuck I was saying to systemic violence, using the language that describes my experience as a disabled afab queer Asian against me. I had to just patiently take it, lest it cause even more offense.

Meanwhile I had to stare down a room full of socilogy students and defend the existence of nonbinary people, knowing full well that most of them approved of the people who went around the social science building to write "there are only two genders" on every board they could. Knowing full well that students refused to use our nonbinary professor's preferred pronouns. Knowing full well that our queer association's president almost got violently assaulted for being pansexual. Knowing full well that our school makes a show of being progressive but that they actually couldn't give two shits about queer students.

Cry me a fucking river

--

Hi, heterophobia anon here. (OTNF, would it be possible to stitch this to the earlier ask? Thanks either way) I kind of wanted to apologize for my over emotional follow up to the other anon. I took that ask very personally, and felt it was both a condemnation of my character and an endorsement of the person who confronted me, which was one single event in an incredibly traumatic long chain of queerphobia I experience at my school. And honestly, even if it was a condemnation of me and an endorsement of her, I don't think I should have reacted like that. Anon had no context of who I am and who she was, they just knew that I made a joke that reminded them of self-righteous online haters who think that hating majority demographics is activism. That's not who I am. I shouldn't have felt attacked. The genesis of the "queerphobia" joke is actually a play on the idea of shipping as activism. "If you don't ship these racial minorities, you're racist", "if you don't ship this same sex couple, you're homophobic", etc. Therefore, if I don't ship MF, then I must be heterophobic. The joke in this situation was that I didn't ship this incredibly popular ship in our fandom, and it's because I'm just sooo heterophobic. It's an inside joke for a reason, so I don't fault anon for thinking that they would avoid me irl if they heard me. I don't think anon expected the person who confronted me to be a queerphobic racist who absolutely traumatized me (which I didn't even realize at the time.) It's only after sending that first ask that I understood why the interaction stuck so hard to my mind. I was trying to make light of my fears by sending a "dunk" ask about how stupid that person was. So when people pushed back, I overreacted, despite the fact that nobody could have known the context. Sorry for the word vomit, but I don't really have anywhere else to dump all this. My friend is much more "out" than I am, so they're probably more stressed than me. I didn't want to add more on top

[seiya-starsniper]

#6 or #19 for the gentle prompts? 🥺🥺❤️❤️

#6 - "I've got you." || [AO3 Link Here]

I love the HELL out of this prompt 💖 Apologies this ended up being a lot more hurt/comfort than anything else, but there's still plenty of gentleness in it! Thanks for sending in the prompt, I hope you enjoy my little slice of birthday cake from me to you 🍰😄

-----------------------------------------------

After he releases Calliope from her prison and exacts his revenge on her behalf, Dream is left feeling unmoored and inadequate. 

He should have tried to escape sooner. He should not have stayed so long stuck in his foolish pride. He should not have been caught at all, even though he knew that his summoning was not his fault, but a plot orchestrated by his younger sibling. Still, Dream was the elder and he should’ve known. He should’ve—He could’ve—

Dream finds himself standing at the front door of the New Inn, and the noises of cheer and joy erupting from within break the Endless out of his maudlin thoughts. He looks up at the sign to the pub, sighing as he considers how he ended up here.

Hob Gadling had greeted him not even two weeks ago as a friend when Dream came to him after his imprisonment. They had talked late into the night, and Dream had found himself able to talk candidly about his capture for the first time. Hob had taken him gently by the hand at the end of the night and told Dream to return to him any time he felt he needed a friend. He did not need to wait 100 years. He was welcome anytime.

And so, here Dream is, in need of the company of his oldest friend. Perhaps his only friend.

He doesn’t even know if Hob will be inside, but if not, he can always return another time. When the door bangs open, and a pack of drunken patrons merrily make their way outside the bar, Dream slips inside past them, and into the warmth and familiarity of the New Inn. He immediately spots Hob standing with a microphone near the bar. 

He is—singing?

Dream furrows his brow in confusion before he scans the daydreams of the bar patrons, determined to give himself context to what is occurring. Apparently the New Inn is celebrating something called Karaoke Night. All patrons are encouraged to participate, it seems, and as the owner of the pub, Hob is usually the one to start the festivities, as well as keep them going throughout the night. 

Dream realizes that Hob has a rather lovely singing voice. Already, he can feel the tension slowly leaking from his shoulders, disappearing into the crowd the longer he watches his friend joke and laugh with the other patrons of the bar in between verses.

Dream wonders if he should not come back another time after all. Hob is clearly preoccupied, and it would not do for Dream to beg for his friend’s companionship when there are others who are much livelier and more deserving of it than he. Perhaps he should—

“Dream?” Hob calls out to him, breaking him out of yet another bout of self-deprecating thoughts. Hob is looking at him, and he appears to be delighted to see Dream. He hands the microphone off to the man managing the music, and then rushes over to greet him.  

When he reaches Dream, Hob wraps his arms around him in a hug. It’s meant to be a greeting, a quick embrace, but Dream’s body must sense that he needs more than that, because he practically collapses into his friend's arms. Hob grunts as he takes on the Endless’s unexpected weight but then he squeezes Dream’s shoulder and presses his face into Dream’s unruly hair.

“Hey, you all right?” Hob asks him, his voice soothing and gentle.

Dream wants to reassure his friend that he is fine, that there is nothing wrong with him, to apologize for his one moment of weakness—but he is so tired. He is emptied out after today. He would like to rest. Just for a little while.

“No,” he replies, internally cringing at just how weary he sounds. “I am—not well.”

And then Dream decides to indulge—he indulges because Hob had told him he was allowed—he wraps his arms around Hob, and then buries his face in his oldest friend’s shoulder. Hob only hums in response, before he calls a woman over to where they’re standing. 

“Hey Beth, I’m taking off early tonight,” Hob tells the woman who comes to check in on them. Dream peers up at her from Hob’s shoulder. Her name is Elizabeth Lovegood. She has worked for the New Inn for a little less than five years, but she dreams of one day owning her own bakery. She is smiling kindly at him, and Dream feels undeserving of it.

“Is he all right?” Beth asks. “This that the same guy who came in here that one time?”

“Yeah,” Hob answers for him, then gently rubs Dream’s shoulders. “Think he’s just had a rough day and needs a place to crash for the night.”

Beth nods. “I got everything under control here, boss. You feel better all right, hon?”

Dream nods, and then he is being shuffled away to the back of the pub, near the stairs where Hob keeps his flat above the New Inn. 

“Hey, shh it's okay, I've got you,” Hob tells him gently as he leads them up the stairs and into the warmth of his home. 

Hob prepares tea and wraps Dream up in a blanket that had been previously sitting along the back of the sofa where Dream is now sitting. When they are settled together, he asks,

“What happened?”

Dream recounts the story of Calliope and her imprisonment. Hob asks some clarifying questions about their relationship and Dream does his best to answer without straying too close to the topic of Orpheus. He is not ready to discuss Orpheus yet. Not with Calliope. Not with Hob. He is not sure if he will ever be ready. 

When he is finished, he sighs deeply and leans back into the softness of Hob’s couch.

“That is everything,” he finishes. “And now you are aware of one of my greatest failures.”

Hob’s brow furrows. “Failures?” he asks, confused. “But you freed Calliope, and without much trouble, how is that anything but a rousing success?”

“But she should not have had to suffer for so long,” Dream insists. “If I only I had not let my pride get in the way, I could have—”

Dream, Hob interrupts him, a rare sternness in his voice Dream has not heard since 1889. “You cannot live in the what-ifs, my friend,” he continues, his voice back to gentle and calming. “That way leads to madness, and I think you and I both know that better than most.”

“But I am not human,” Dream argues. “I am Endless, and I should not have been captured by Roderick Burgess in the first place.”

“So the Endless never make mistakes then?” Hob asks him pointedly. The accusation stings and white hot anger flashes beneath the skin of Dream’s mortal form. 

“You—!” Dream exclaims, suddenly standing, his still hot tea splashing violently within its mug. “You still dare—”

“I do dare,” Hob replies, getting off the couch himself and placing his own mug on the coffee. “Because you’re my friend and I care about you, and I won’t watch you berate yourself for things that were clearly out of your control!”

Out of his control.

It’s those words that finally make Dream deflate. He drops back down onto the couch, splashing tea all over himself and the furniture. Hob yelps in alarm, but Dream merely waves the liquid away. He is tired again. He has been tired a lot lately. 

“I am sorry,” Dream says, staring up at Hob’s ceiling. “You are right. These things were outside what I could control. And I do not like things that are out of my control.”

Hob snorts. “I don’t anyone likes the things that are out of their control, my friend,” he says, before plopping himself down next to Dream. “Want a hug?”

Dream does. He leans into the crook of Hob’s arm, and once again he feels his tension and sorrows from the day bleed away into the fabric of the couch. 

Perhaps he shall stay. Just for a little while. 

[celinin-archive]

Celestino Vietti for Moto.it (08.02.2020)

translation under the cut

Celestino Vietti Ramus: “I’m the man of whys” 

M: Celestino Vietti Ramus, team VR- Sky VR 46 Sky- how the fuck is it? 

Cele: Sky VR46, it’s a bit long 

M: the important thing is that you don’t get it wrong when you go on track 

Cele: Exactly, exactly, otherwise they get angry with me 

M: Celestino, let’s start with the serious questions. This year, what is your goal? 

Cele: Well, this year is surely one where we have to try and be faster than last year, and use all the experience we got last year to try and always be in front to fight- not the podium but the first positions, it doesn’t always have to be the podium, you have to know how to settle for less. But I try to not give myself a too big of a goal, I want to try to start with my head free and then we will see where we are at the half season. 

A: You have shown to be super mature already. You are in the ideal context to learn- 

M: you are the most serious, out of everyone [of the academy] 

A: you are the most serious out of everyone, in between other things- 

M: no, maybe Luca beats you, Marini beats you 

Cele: Yeah Luca, he is the most- the most serious out of everyone 

A: but is he serious only outside or also inside? Because to me you’re serious, I mean, you’re a serious person 

M: I think he’s just talking without knowing 

Cele: well, yes- 

A: it’s empathy, I mean, I see him and that’s what I perceive 

Cele: let’s say that maybe I'm a bit more serious in the, let’s say, racing ambit in general, then outside I’m a bit... 

A: a moron 

Cele: I’m a bit of a moron outside, yes 

M: What is your nickname inside the team? 

Cele: Well, I was given “the man of whys” because I always make a thousand questions, I always bother everyone. But that’s fine by me 

A: Like, the last “why?” you asked... Vale? Do you remember it? 

Cele: Hell... no, right now I can’t remember it 

A: Why can you do this corner this way...? 

Cele: The problem is that... he explains it to me, but it’s not as easy as he says. And I try to do it, but I can’t do everything 

A: you just have to release the brakes, things like this? 

Cele: You just have to do it like this eh... I try it but it’s not that easy 

M: How old are you? 

Cele: Eighteen 

M: Do you drive on the road also? 

Cele: Eh, I’m getting my licence, I have the exam in a bit so I hope I will pass it 

A: Car or bike? 

Cele: Car, car 

M: No, I meant bike [this misunderstanding comes from the fact that in italian we use the same verb for driving the car and riding the bike] 

Cele: Ahhh, yes I ride the scooter 

M: And about cars, what’s the car [you’d want] 

A: Let’s put it like this, in ten years, when you’ve won one hundred world championships, you’re the king of motogp, you get here. What car do you get here with. 

Cele: Well, I’ve always liked the Lamborghini, maybe one day I’ll be able to buy it but right now it’s not even slightly in my thoughts because I can’t do it, really 

M: And in your private life, do you do damages there? 

Cele: Yes, yes, a little something yes, something yes. 

M: Like, do you have a girlfriend? 

Cele: ...yes, yes. 

A: Are you in negotiations? 

M: You’re saying it with a bit of difficulty 

A: Are we closing the deal? 

Cele: No, we are... maybe I am in a bit of a difficult period, but... 

M: But it’s possible that maybe... 

Cele: I don’t know 

M: Usually you say this to the other girls, I’m in a bit of a difficult period, you can say the truth to us 

Cele: ...no, I can’t, I’m in a difficult period, that’s all I will say 

M: It’s complicated 

Cele: Yes. 

M: Like, when is the last time you made love? 

Cele: Some time ago but also because she’s from Turin- 

M: Ah, ok 

Cele: From where I’m from, and I am here so... 

A: But here who do you live with? 

Cele: Alone 

M: With another girl 

Cele: No, no! 

M: We’re joking- what's her name? 

Cele: Lisa 

M: Lisa, we’re joking 

M: This wing of the VR46 from Turin, how do we see it? Because Pecco is also from Turin, you are from that area, 

Cele: Yes, I hope someday maybe to be able to, I don’t know, fight for a Championship in Motogp with Pecco, it would be amazing for our region... he’s done already a lot, I- 

A: I thought you wanted to open an Academy, like, in the Langhe or something like that 

Cele: Maybe in the future I might do it but it’s too much of a future thought, now I have to- in the end I haven’t done anything yet and I have to grow, I have to better myself so. We will se. Maybe someday 

A: What are they doing to these guys, the way he answers 

M: Since you are “the man of whys”, now we will ask you some whys. 

Cele: Go, go 

M: Why the number thirteen? 

Cele: Because I was born on October 13th 

A: This was was easy 

Cele: It was easy 

M: And why do you have the earring? 

Cele: I always liked it and... this is the one that my dad had, I put it on... I like it 

A: And why did you start riding? 

Cele: Because... I liked it, my dad has always been passionate about it, so I started, he put me on my first minibike and... It all started from there 

M: And why did you end up at the Academy? 

Cele: Pff, question... Because in 2015 I was in the RMU team that had made a collab with the Academy and luckily... well, a bit of ability and a bit of luck  

A: Exactly, your answer is wrong you should have told him, because I’m good 

Cele: Nah, nah come on, it’s not me who has to say it 

A: It’s us saying that you’re good 

Cele: then maybe it’s because I was good, I won the championship and... 

M: And now you’re here. Three things that Vale taught you, even without saying them to you 

Cele: I think, coldness and lucidity in the difficult moments, to always have the right move at the right time, and being “simple” in the everyday life 

M: Perfect, amazing things... I forgot the question I wanted to ask you. A serious one, truly serious, fundamental, but I forgot it. Maybe I’ll call you when I remember it 

Cele: okay, fine, fine 

M: Okay, Celestino Vietti, with Moto.it! Maybe the question will come to my mind. Bye! 

Cele: Bye, bye! 

Cele: Nice, nice, I liked it. 

M: Nice, eh? Yeah, yeah. Ah! I remembered the question! Why Celestino Vietti Ramus? 

Cele: because basically, where my grandpa lives, it’s a village called Vietti, and back in the days, I mean, the names were Giovanni, Giacomo, and they were all named Vietti, so to differentiate the families they used double surnames 

M: And the double surname, where did they get it from? 

Cele: I have no clue  

M: Randomly 

Cele: I think maybe it was a nickname they gave to the family or... these are all things from really long, long ago, I don’t even know them 

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

And another average day at Family Video:

"No you literally can't"

"Of course you can, dingus! Some are just classics!"

"Well, and some go to Family Video to browse and randomly choose movies they know nothing about!"

"But doesn't that further prove my point?! Why would someone choose a movie solely by the cover if the cover is just a hot person?!"

"Well you said that Rocky Horror is also a queer classic and me and Tommy chose that one at random back when we were both assholes. If you'd flirted with Carol then you probably would have been hate-crimed."

"That is not a word"

"Well good thing I don't work in a fucking library then"

They glare at each other. If this was another genre, this story would end in a fight to the death. As things are, they are just two best friends getting unnecessarily heated while fighting about nothing. To be fair, it's more entertaining than watching the same two questionable movies over and over again.

Robin crosses her arms. "Okay. So just, let me repeat. To make sure I understood. You - who have admitted that you would sleep with Jonathan and Eddie if the chance arose and made out with Tommy multiple times - watched Rocky Horror Picture Show with Tommy, who may I remind you - you made out with multiple times, which once again, fucking ew-"

"Hey! He was the one who suggested it first!"

"And then you have the audacity to say that Rocky Horror Picture Show isn't gay?!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M FUCKING SAYING. If one were to see the cover with no context and decided to rent it just to see what it is about-"

"You mean the cover of Tim Curry in drag?!"

"Yeah well, Tommy was the one who chose the movie, and he is straight. So."

"Didn't you just say that Tommy was the one who wanted to kiss you first?!?"

Steve rolls his eyes so hard it's a wonder they stay safely inside their socket. "Yeah, but that's just the normal amount of same-sex attraction every straight dude has. That was just boys being boys. If that made someone gay, the whole basketball team would be full of queers"

"First of all, I will be coming back to that last bit later-"

"You? Coming for the all-male basketball team? Never thought I'd see the day"

He can admit that he probably deserves the kick against his shin.

"Focus, dingus! Let me just repeat what you just said. And I want you to think about it carefully, okay?! So in your words, a boy kissing another boy is not gay, unless one of the boys acknowledges that that is gay?"

"Uhm, duh?"

"So you and Tommy kissing was... straight?"

"I mean. No. Because I have now realized that I am not straight which retroactively makes the making out sessions gay"

Robin thumps her head against the counter. She takes a deep breath and does it again for good measure.

"I- oh my god. Okay. Just. Think about what you just said, okay? Think about it carefully. Think about it while you rewind that stack of tapes."

"Hey isn't it your turn?"

"Wrong thing to think about! You do that while I clean this...already clean counter. Again."

He gives her the stink eye but does as he is told.

They change topics. Robin tells him about the newest gossip in band. It is surprisingly intense. Just like Robin is also intense. Maybe only intense people go to band. Or maybe playing an instrument makes you intense? Well, he has a band member right here, so he asks, and they spend the next half an hour making fun of various instruments. The gay-jokes-whiteboard gains a lot of new points.

Both are laughing so hard they don't even realize they have a customer until the girl is standing in front of the counter, "The Wizard of Oz" in her hands. Steve raises a brow. Do you think this one is gay too? Robin nods to the snap hook hooked to her trousers holding her keys. Duh. He rolls his eyes. I also do this all the fucking time. It's convenient, okay?! It means nothing. Robin only looks at him with a deadpan look. You are literally further proving my point.

It is then that it clicks. "Oh my god it was gay! What the fuck?!"

Robin's face falls. He hears a gasp from somewhere behind him. Oh yeah. They were not alone in the shop right now. Fuck.

Steve thinks he vaguely recognizes her. He never talked to her, but it is hard to miss her bright red hair. Her name was....Vinnie? Or something? Right??

She looks down to her snap hook. It seems like she is going to run out of the shop at any moment. But then she takes a deep breath and looks up again, determination in her eyes. "Are you...are you also a friend of Dorothy?"

Robin's eyes shine. Steve goes to the back to have his mental breakdown in peace.

Steve isn't sure how much time passes before he dares to come out again. Vanessa (?) is gone and Robin looks incredibly smug.

He sighs. A true man knows when to admit defeat. "Okay. Maybe you had a point. With Tommy."

Her smile widens even more. "Only Tommy?"

"And the basketball team. And Valerie."

She frowns. "Who the fuck is Valerie."

"The girl who just left? Red hair? Also in band I think? Friend of Dorothy or whatever?"

"Her name is Vicky."

"Hey, I got the first letter right. If you expect much more from me you are seriously deluding yourself."

Robin rolls her eyes. They continue working in silence, but there is a tension in the air that hasn't been there since Robin first came out to him. Steve is not a very patient dude, but he can wait as long as it takes when it regards someone he cares about. And so he does.

"...Hey Steve?"

"Yes Robin?"

"I- I know we talk about it relatively openly here because it's always deserted when we have a shift together for some reason. But for the love of god, you need to be more careful. Okay?! The thing with Vicky was a lucky shot-"

"You mean your future girlfriend?~"

She pinches his lower back. Everybody looks at them weird when they do that, but it is very effective. The skin is still tender where they got their matching tramp stamps and it hurts like a bitch.

"I'm serious."

He looks at her. Sees the fear in her eyes. And he nods. I know. I promise. I'm sorry. He doesn't have to say it out loud for Robin to understand him. She knows that he means it, that he will probably be overly careful for a few weeks before they find a comfortable middle ground again. That he would never betray her trust. That is the reason they are soulmates, after all.

He isn't angry when she still asks him for reassurance anyway. "I promise", he says, more serious than he has been all day. They are both getting better at that, asking for verbal affirmation.

Another customer comes in. It's a cute girl. She rents the new Tom Cruise movie and Robin finally gets to take out the you-suck-board again.

"Okay, but did you really never realize that making out with other boys is kind of fruity?! Did I literally have to spell it out for you?"

"Hey! You yourself said that it's hard to 'break out of a heteronormative mindset' and shit. Plus, this is actually my second shift. And I used my break to drive you from school to work. So like, cut me some slack"

"Steve! I told you to stop taking double shifts all the time! No wonder you look so exhausted dingus"

"Well, Buckley, I would. But as I am sure you are fully aware Dustin's birthday is in two weeks and I need money to buy him that stupid nerd-thingie he's obsessing about-"

(more average days)

[subzeroparade]

Hello! I really liked the clothes you designed for Laurence in the last artwork. I was wondering if it's just an alternative design to the usual one or if it's how you'll draw him from now on. Is it maybe something he wore before he started wearing the choir clothes?

Thank you anon (・‧̫・) Also you made the mistake of asking me about fashion, so - *inhales*

I’ve drawn Laurence in version(s) of the Choir garb before (you'll notice I change his sleeves a lot lol), but I normally almost never draw characters in the same outfits all the time, even if they are canon - just by virtue of being bored of it, and wanting to invent. 

The one you’re referencing was early Church, in my timeline - there’s two similar ones that I’ve more or less described in fic that are simpler, and closer to typically clerical/in-game Church garb. One of the first scenes in The Feast We Were Promised (which deals mostly with early Church timeline) is Laurence changing from the weighty, jewelled chasuble he wears in the context of ministration/communion in the Grand Cathedral into a modest black cassock to return to the Chapel of the Good Chalice down in the poorer quarters of old Yharnam. There is a certain canny strategy for the Church to remain humble in what they wear, if only to imply a sort of modesty and separation from the main religious powers of the time - there’s an established church, in this timeline, with all its pomp and splendour (because sects don’t just spring up in a religious vacuum).

I think that changes with the founding of the Choir, and the domination of the Healing Church as the main religious organisation over time, consolidating its power on the reputation of the blood. I think the Choir garb feels like a kind of mix between clerical clothes and Byrgenwerth-style robes (this should not be surprising - Willem’s imagery in his chair is very papal). This reflects the Church’s eventual takeover of Byrgenwerth, and how the Choir is established - which is to say an "order", or faction of the Church only in name, but solely focused on using the Church’s resources to attain ascension/communion. I like to imagine that Laurence would wear a different variation of the Choir garb at the height of his power, to distinguish himself - incorporating some of these more traditional liturgical symbols, since he retains the title of vicar. 

On the other side of the Church’s heyday, I think the more things get out of hand, the more ostentatious their dress - a sort of visual power, if you will, that negates what is happening in the streets with the coming scourge. A veneer of material splendour to mask the reality - a show of control, and mastery, even as the Church is impotent in the face of what's happening. In that sense I’d imagine Laurence wearing really ornate chasubles, or the kind of stunning cope that Lenny wears (minus the hat) in the Sistine Chapel scene in The Young Pope (which I am a big fan of). To bring it back to your first question, that white and black ensemble is a play on both real ecclesiastical garb but also specifically Lenny’s wardrobe, and his countenance when he wears it. (The costume designer, Carlo Poggioli, did a spectacular job working from the existing pieces in the Vatican museum). The red shoes in that final design above are a bit of a joke - the pope actually wears red shoes in real life, but the version on set are Louboutins and were nicknamed by Poggioli “the Ferraris” (extra inside joke - my Laurence has partly Corsican roots for obvious parallels with another historical tyrant).  

As for Ludwig, I almost always give him a different outfit - even in plainclothes - but I like the idea that he only starts wearing that pseudo-Executioner’s garb after the Cainhurst massacre (in my timeline, anyway). I always try to add a little element of armour to his clothing and to distinguish him from both the clergy and other Church-affiliated folk, be they Prospectors or Hunters. Beyond actual historical sources, I’m obsessed with Jany Temime’s work in House of the Dragon, and so you’ll find traces of the Kingsguard armour in Ludwig’s overall look, but without making it too medieval. 

I also have a headcanon (developed alongside some mutuals) that the blindfold part of the Choir cap is a very late introduction, during the scourge. In my work Laurence’s disdain for Willem’s dumbfuck pope hat is evident, and so there’s none of that shutting-your-eyes-to-the-world stuff - until most everyone’s eyes, including his, start to change by way of the scourge. 

Anyway tldr I like playing dress-up with them. 

[fadelbison]

I want to preface this by saying that english is not my first language, and most of what I've learned has been on twitter, so if I sound condescending, I'm sorry lol. I swear that's not the tone of this message. Also, I'm sorry if I'm rambling.

That said, I like reading your takes because we have very different interpretations. It's so interesting to me lol. I'll give you one example, like when you said First is in his fan service era of trying to be masc and cool but he's always been like that?? He's very aware that he's not the "manliest," so when he says he wants to be cool and etc. he's joking. Idk if it's the language barrier but he's actually VERY funny, he's always joking around, and he knows he's cute and feels comfortable being cute, but at this point, it's like an inside joke that he "refuses" his cuteness (but like he doesn't and in fact he constantly plays it up lol). But he's also mentioned how he feels like he has grown up and how his personality has naturally become more serious and private, so maybe what you guys are interpreting as changing his persona for fanservice is just him getting older. Idk, I feel like things are simpler than you think.

That's just one example, but still I like reading your posts so please keep the conversation going hehe <3

I think rather than condescension when I get this type of ask I'm a little confused what people think I said hahahaha and how far our collective memories go back aka when I said First has changed which two points are you comparing versus which two points was I talking about ^^ Unless specified I'm always comparing Eclipse era First with post Only Friends. and this particular ask which I suspect was what spurred this was comparing pre-FK First with First now and the rest of the ask was focused on Khaotung. I think one of the first things I said about First is that he's effortlessly cool. Even though I did not mention it, it was for exactly the things that you said. I didn't watch a lot of Toew Laew but I am also super into BrightFirst. First is just a natural mood maker and class clown and even though he does have so much anxiety he's actually extremely good at it. Another point which maybe wasn't clear is that in their very recent interactions First is not making these comments (which is normal for him to make the comments so he's actually sticking to the script more) but it's actually Khaotung (it isn't normal for him because he generally likes sticking to the script) <- this is the change I was talking about. Unfortunately, I for one have never bought that he's actually an introvert. He's always called himself an extrovert and it wasn't until he started living in Khaotung's very gentle pocket as his branded partner that he's saying he's an introvert. He's 26 yo, constantly under scrutiny, constantly only specifically getting criticized for crying during their fanmeets. I see a type of pressure on First that just doesn't exist for Khaotung. I'm not sure First knows what he is lmao. But actually, since I'm not as obsessed about First as Khaotung I hesitate to say too much more about him? I don't...notice him with the same razor sharp focus that my attention stays on Khaotung dkfjsdfjhfhks And for the last part 'I feel like things are simpler than you think.' is just wrong hahaha. Fanservice both politically and economically has always been extremely complicated. In a place like Thailand where there is a formalized business around branded pairing (please remember I follow MANY branded pairs not just FK)... oh boy if you think it's simple I will bet you anything that A LOT of effort has gone into making you think so.

The core dilemma of any fanservice is that it's a performance whose main goal is to make it feel as natural and spontaneous as possible in the context of real life. Kudos to Firstkhao for their smashing success haha

[atla-confessions]

I've come to vent about my relationship with Rozin of all things. I must warn that this is NOT anti Rozin confession! There's literally nothing wrong with this ship, but...

For a long time I thought it was the only genuinely good and interesting ship out of all ATLA and LOK ships. Despite having little to no screen time, I was nevertheless hooked by Roku's and Sozin's dynamic. And how could I not? Childhood friends turned into bitter enemies with all the angst and heartbreak it entails? *chief kiss* Rozin just had that kick that other ships didn't have to me. I mean it in the nicest way possible, but everything just felt bland and boring in comparison. Most likely because I'm a drama queen who loves screwed up stuff. In my head and private notes, I would make Rozin WORSE, I would add things that didn't happen in canon, that would NEVER happen in canon, that would plunge those two into a new dark abyss I made just for them. In my head and private notes, I would make Rozin BETTER, I would give Roku and Sozin a chance to reconcile, to learn from one another, to finally have a relationship they couldn't have in canon. I would come up with crazy AUs, one of them even became a baseline for my main crossover story.

I mean it genuinely that this ship was IT for me. And it was like that for 5 years...

Until it just... Wasn't anymore.

The overall ATLA fandom, unfortunately, doesn't share my sentiment. The arts and fics and hell even meta posts that would examine Roku and Sozin's relationship was extremely rare. All those things I did with Rozin privately ? That was basically all that I had. I kid you not, Rozin felt more like a fandom joke, than an actual ship. The ship tag was clogged with the same repetitive "haha, Roku and Sozin were exes" "haha, Roku and Sozin were gay" shit. A joke that was repeated over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. With no changes, no new punchline. It was funny the first couple of times, then it lost the punch, then it became annoying and then... those jokes became enraging. I was becoming SICK of them.

I would much rather have there be no new Rozin posts, than the ship tag being cluttered with. the. same. shitty. unfunny. repetitive. joke. At least the lack of content would motivate me to actually share the AUs and hcs I made in private. It would be a challenge, a drive. But, the fandom is dead set on seeing them as "just angsty exes, lol".

Oh, but that's not why I decided to write here. You know what I'm about to say. The upcoming Roku centric book, that, of course has scenes that are almost hand-crafted to pander to Rozin shippers.

I know I should be excited. I should be happy. My ship is finally getting attention! Getting official interaction since, what? Over a decade of NOTHING?

But, I felt nothing.

At first.

Then, when I realized that I felt nothing I felt... rage? Sadness? Despair?

I used to LOVE Rozin. What happened? I should be excited. Why am I not?

It has been 5 years of that. Of Rozin being worse than nothing. Not even a ship, but an inside joke among ATLA fans. I would've been fine if the book interactions contradicted my hcs, I would just make new ones or change the old ones a little. But, I got tired. At this point, I feel nothing for the ship. Maybe annoyance. I definitely think I don't like it now. And it's sad. It's almost tragic.

I love Roku and Sozin as characters. And I used to love shipping them, as another way to explore and study them as characters. But now, I think, I will just block Rozin tag and dismiss any ship context if I do happen to start posting my ATLA fan art again and people would ask of I shipped them or not. I don't. Not anymore. If you really want a ship content with them, well, I suppose I have my OC x Roku ship, but, I'm certain no one would be interested in that, so I'll just keep it to myself.

Sorry for the long rant. Sorry that it sounds so dramatic or pathetic. But, I feel better after writing everything here. Maybe I can finally leave this all behind.

X

[sisterspooky1013]

Gaslight, Chapter 6/58

Rated X | Read it here on AO3

Six Weeks Later

She’s in his lap, facing him, the heat of their bare skin pressed together as she grinds her hips desperately. She can feel him, the stretch of him inside her, the slip of his shaft as it brushes over her clit again and again. She digs her fingernails into the flesh of his neck, accepting his hungry kisses as she moans into his mouth. He speaks to her, unintelligible words that make her swell and peak, pleasure coursing through her limbs—

Dana wakes to the throb of an orgasm thrumming between her legs. She squeezes her thighs together and moans before bringing her hand down to press on her strobing clit over her pajama pants. It’s not enough, so she slips that hand under her panties and groans at how wet she is. Moistening her fingers, she slides them back and forth across her hood and is surprised when she comes again, not as strong but still very much welcome. She muffles her whimpers with her head turned into the pillow, and realizes that she has no idea how long it’s been since she last had an orgasm.

The door clicks open and she freezes, her fingers resting over her still throbbing clit. She waits, anticipating the sleepy whine of a child and preemptively embarrassed that she may have woken them.

“Dana?” Cal’s voice whispers across the darkened room.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay? I thought I heard something.”

Her cheeks flame, and she discreetly slips her hand out of her pants as she changes position.

Michelle had recently inquired, very gently, about the state of her relationship with Cal. She posed the question as whether Dana had returned to their shared bedroom, but the underlying question about whether they had resumed a sexual relationship was obvious. When she informed Michelle that she was still sleeping in the guest room and that a few brief hugs were the extent of her physical contact with him, Dana was asked, without judgment, why that was.

“I’m not entirely sure,” Dana had admitted.

“Are you not attracted to him?” Michelle asked.

“No, I am. He’s a very good-looking man, actually.”

“Is it possible that there’s some guilt regarding your infidelity?”

Dana considered the idea for a moment, then pulled in a deep breath.

“I think that might be part of it. I think I also feel a bit of insecurity about whether I’ll be able to live up to whatever the nature of our sexual relationship was before my accident. In 1992 I’d had a few sexual partners, only one of which would qualify as long term, and it seems likely that I’ll be lacking some—skill, as well as some context,” she said, her eyes on Michelle’s shoulder. “Long term partners may have done more advanced exploration. They know each other’s bodies well, what the other likes and doesn’t like. They may have predictable routines or order of operations—”

“You’re worried you’ll be a lousy lay?” Michelle joked, and Dana laughed mirthlessly.

“Pretty much,” she agreed.

“I think that’s a very reasonable fear. And I think you should consider talking with Calvin about it. Just putting it out there, laying it all on the table, so to speak, can take a lot of the pressure off. I gather he hasn’t asked why you aren’t ready to be physically intimate with him?”

“No,” Dana said emphatically. “He’s very, very respectful. I honestly think if I slept in the guest room for the rest of our lives he may never make mention of it.”

“Sounds like a low pressure situation,” Michelle commented. “It’s pretty ideal, really, all things considered.” Dana nodded. “I’d like to give you some homework, Dana, with the caveat that you should only do this if you feel ready to push yourself and rekindle your romantic relationship with Calvin.”

“I think I am,” Dana said, feeling nervous. “I will admit that it feels a bit lonely at times, being so distant from him.”

“Okay, then here’s what I’d like you to challenge yourself to do: touch him in some way that doesn’t feel completely platonic. That might be a kiss, or a more intimate hug, or maybe just holding hands. Whatever feels good and attainable, try it out and see how it feels. Don’t put pressure on yourself to move back into the master bedroom or have sex, just crack open that door to intimate physical contact and see if you’re inclined to want to walk through it. How does that sound?”

Dana nodded, feeling both afraid and hopeful.

“I think I can do that,” she’d said. “I think I’d like to try.”

“Sorry,” Dana says to Cal, whose silhouette is backlit by the nightlight in the hallway. “I had a dream—a nightmare. I think maybe I was talking in my sleep,” she lies.

Cal crosses the room and sits on the edge of the bed.

“Do you remember what it was about?” he asks.

She thinks of him, the man. His mossy green eyes, and the way he moved inside her.

“No,” she says, guilt coiling in her gut.

“Do you need anything?” Cal asks gently.

She is quiet for a beat, then slides her hand, the same that is still damp from her wet dream, across the comforter until the tips of her fingers collide with his.

“Will you lay with me?” she asks, her heart racing.

She can feel his surprise heating up the air in the room, and she senses him tempering his enthusiasm.

“Of course,” he says, standing and pulling back the covers.

He slides in beside her, lying on his back with just a sliver of space between their bodies. She feels a swell of affection at just how patient he is, how respectful, how incredibly understanding he has been every step of the way. Despite everything, she feels lucky that he is the one she chose to marry, and that he is the one who is by her side through this. Most of the men she dated in the past became frustrated after just a few days without sex, and here Cal has gone over a month without so much as a kiss and he has made zero complaints. Perhaps this is one of the reasons she was drawn to him in the first place.

She scoots closer to him and gently lays her cheek on his bare chest. He immediately pulls his arm free and wraps it around her back, which allows her to snuggle even closer. She rests her hand on his belly, and after a few minutes she drapes her leg over his. Cal sniffs wetly and pulls in a shuddering breath, and again guilt kicks at her.

“Are you okay?” she asks, mirroring his question from just a few minutes ago.

“Yes,” he says hoarsely. “I’ve just missed this—missed you—so much, mija.”

The emotion in his voice and the warmth of his body against hers make her feel like she’s been missing it too, if you can miss something you don’t remember.

“I’m sorry—” she starts, but he quickly stops her.

“You don’t need to be sorry. It’s not your fault. This happened to both of us, Dana,” he insists, and it’s far from the first time he’s said it to her. “Let’s get back to sleep, okay?” he continues, giving her a light squeeze. “The kids will be up in a couple hours, and you have a big day tomorrow.”

She sighs, sinking further into the comfort of a body that knows and loves her, and sleeps a deep, dreamless sleep.

When she wakes again, the mellow light of dawn washes the room in shades of blue. She is on her side and Cal is curled up behind her, his breath warming the crown of her head. She stretches a little, flexing the muscles in her back and inadvertently pushing her backside into his pelvis.

Cal stirs, humming in his sleep and thrusting gently against her, and she feels the firmness of his nocturnal erection jab her ass. She stills, both embarrassed and aroused, and briefly debates wriggling back against him to see what will happen. She doesn’t get the chance to.

The door flies open and Abby marches into the room, climbing up onto the bed and crawling towards them. Cal jolts awake and turns his head to look at her, then touches Dana’s hip and pulls her even closer, perhaps to conceal himself from the child.

“Daddy?” Abby asks in an accusatory tone. “What are you doing in Mommy’s room?”

“We’re having a slumber party,” Cal says groggily. “Go downstairs, honey, I’ll come make you breakfast in a minute.”

The child does as she’s told, and they listen until they hear the slap of her bare feet on the hardwood.

“Sorry,” Cal says, though he does not pull away from her.

“It’s okay,” Dana replies, glad that he cannot see her face.

“Is it?” he asks hesitantly. “Okay, I mean? Is this okay?”

“I want it to be,” she answers after a beat. “But I’m afraid—what if it’s not how you remember it?”

He shifts down so that his pelvis is no longer touching hers and hooks his chin over her shoulder.

“You’re worried about that?” he asks. “You think I’ll be disappointed?”

“I think…I think that I’m missing nearly eight years of knowledge and experience. So yes, I worry that I’ll disappoint you,” she admits, and as Michelle had promised, she immediately feels a weight lift off her chest.

“I’m glad you told me,” he says, running the tips of his fingers over her forearm. “But I think you’re wrong.”

“You do?”

“I mean—if you’re basically yourself from 1992, and we met in 1993, I can say from experience that I was not at all disappointed by 1992 Dana’s skills in the bedroom,” he offers.

“That’s good to hear,” she says uncomfortably, and he laughs a little.

“We can take things as slow as you want, mija,” he says softly. “I won’t expect you to bring back the whips and chains right away,” he adds, and she rolls to her back to give him an incredulous look.

“Are you serious?” she asks, and he smiles broadly.

“I’m just messing with you,” he says coyly. “Not that I’m not open to the idea.”

Her belly tumbles and she rolls her eyes. Cal’s expression softens, and something anticipatory settles over them.

“Would it be okay if I kissed you?” he asks, his jaw twitching to the side nervously. “It’s okay if you’re not ready.”

Dana swallows, thinking about her morning breath and the fact that Daniel is the last person she can remember kissing. Thinking about the man from her dreams, and whether he or Cal is the last person with whom she actually shared a kiss. But none of that should matter, she’s learned, because here and now is all she has.

She nods softly and Cal sighs. He touches her cheek, his eyes searching her face before he leans forward and presses his lips against hers. It’s chaste but lingering, and while it doesn’t feel familiar it does feel good. He begins to pull away and she arches her neck up, kissing him again. She feels the brush of his tongue against her bottom lip, and again they are interrupted.

“Daddy!” Abby calls from downstairs, and Cal pulls away from her with a laugh.

“She has a knack for that, be forewarned,” he says, kissing her once more and then rolling out of the bed. “It’s a miracle we ever managed to conceive Pete.”

She watches him with a smile as he leaves the room, then gets out of bed herself and initiates the task of waking up Peter.

Today she returns to her job at St. Agnes hospital, though only part time. While her tenure there prior to her accident had been short, they were pleased enough with her performance during that time that they were happy to accommodate a slow ramp up to full time work. She opted for a four-hour shift that will still allow her to take Abby to the bus stop and be there when she gets home, which should hopefully also ease the family’s adjustment to having two working parents.

There are all the trappings of what has become a typical morning: Blue’s Clues and Eggos, lunches packed and children dressed, Cal returning from his shower in a trim black suit and tie. But there are new things too: Dana dresses in khaki pants and a blouse instead of comfortable house clothes, she puts on a little bit of makeup and curls the ends of her hair. When Cal dispenses vitamins and brings her her Numerol, he steps up close and smirks as she smiles behind her coffee cup. Something feels lighter and exciting, like the thrill of a new relationship, which it may as well be for her. He holds the pill out and when she moves to take it, he clamps his fist closed.

“Gotta pay the toll,” he says playfully, and she sets her mug down on the counter behind her.

She touches his waist, her heart fluttering as he leans down and kisses her. It’s just a brush of a kiss, a teasing whisper across her lips, and she feels the pull of desire bloom low in her belly. He pulls away, still smiling, and holds his hand back out. She swallows the pill with her coffee, helps Peter put his shoes on, and escorts the men of the family to the car before bidding them farewell with more kisses and wishes of good luck.

The late spring morning is bright and already warm, and she walks Abby the three blocks to the bus stop with their clasped hands swinging between them.

“Do you love Daddy again?” Abby asks in the candid, unafraid way that children do.

Dana is surprised, both by the question and by the realization that she hasn’t at any point considered whether she loves Cal, or did, or will. It simply never crossed her mind.

“What makes you ask that, Sweetpea?” she replies, question for question.

“Daddy sleeped in your room so maybe that means you love him again,” Abby says matter-of-factly.

They arrive at the corner where the bus will pick Abby up for school, and Dana tries to decide how to answer.

“I didn’t stop loving Daddy,” she says, though it may not be entirely true. “My brain just got confused for a while after I hit my head and I think I forgot why I loved him, but I’m starting to remember.”

Abby considers this for a moment.

“Did you forget why you loved me, too?” she asks, and Dana kicks herself for not thinking her explanation through.

“No, Sweetpea.” She crouches down, bringing herself eye level to her daughter and pushing a lock of the child’s untamed hair behind her ear. “The way a mommy loves her children is easy. I love you because you’re mine, and I always will, no matter what. You don’t need to worry about that, okay?”

“Okay.”

Daisy, the little girl from across the street, joins them and the children sing a pop song and dance a clearly choreographed dance that makes Dana’s cheeks ache from smiling.

“Oops I did it again, I played with your heart, got lost in the game,” they squawk between giggles, and finally the bus pulls up and carries them off to school, Abby waving at her from the window until it rounds the corner out of sight.

Dana walks back to the house and spends a bit of time nervously tidying and checking her purse repeatedly to be sure she hasn’t somehow misplaced her wallet or cell phone since the last time she checked. She rifles through a stack of mail and flyers from Abby’s elementary school, separating them into things that need to be filed versus shredded versus paid, and comes across the legal pad on which Cal had written helpful notes for her when she first arrived home. It’s both painful and sweet to remember the care he took in trying to make her feel comfortable, and she finds herself looking forward to this evening when she can see him again. She feels a pang of excitement at the idea of curling up on the couch, side by side, and sneaking kisses during commercial breaks of their favorite show. She decides to save the sheet of paper, so she tears it off the pad and goes upstairs to put it in her keepsake box in the closet. Just as she’s slipping it under the lid, something occurs to her and she unfolds it and looks at it again.

Calvin Micheal Rose 5/29/1962

That’s next week. Cal’s birthday is in less than seven days. Relieved to have remembered while she still has a bit of time to plan, she stashes the paper and hurries back downstairs to slip into her heels and head to the hospital. On the drive across town, she tries to think of something special that they might do, but quickly realizes that she doesn’t know enough to pinpoint what might feel special to him. Birthday planning serves as enough of a distraction that it’s not until she pulls into the parking lot and passes a sign reading “St. Agnes Hospital, Provider Entrance” that nerves twist again in her belly.

She stands on the sidewalk outside the doors for a full minute, pulling in deep breaths and letting them out slowly. You can do this, she encourages herself. Finally, she walks toward the glass doors and they slide open, blasting her with warm, antiseptic air as she passes into the vestibule.

Suddenly, she feels lightheaded. She stops, touching her fingers lightly against the wall beside her to ground herself. An acute and haunting sense of deja vu creeps up her spine, and for a moment she’s afraid she’s going to be sick. Someone touches her arm, and she turns her head and tilts her chin up with an uncanny expectation that she will see a familiar face beside her.

“Ma’am?” a muted voice asks, and Dana blinks, shaking her head softly. She looks down and sees a wiry older woman in scrubs peering at her curiously. “Ma’am, are you alright?” the woman asks, her voice and her face coming more fully into focus.

“Yes, I’m fine,” Dana replies, easing herself away from the wall and walking unsteadily through the second set of doors. “I just got a little dizzy. I think I forgot to eat breakfast.”

“Would you like me to get a doctor for you?” the woman asks, following her towards the front desk just inside the doors.

“No, thank you. Actually, I am a doctor, today is my first day. Or my first day back, I suppose.”

“Oh, are you Dr. Rose?” the woman asks with a smile, and Dana nods. “Just take a seat right there, Dr. Rose, I'll page Dr. Thomas for you.”

Dana sits on a small padded bench and waits, unsettled by the familiar feeling she had when she walked through the doors. It’s not the fact that this place feels familiar that unsettles her, and really it should be some comfort to her that it does. But the familiarity wasn’t as much with the space itself as the way it made her feel, and how she felt was afraid.

No, not afraid. Terrified.

Tagging @today-in-fic

[raedear]

oh please do share a bit for balldo 2 👀

Ahahaha did you know that there's now a VIBRATING ball-do? I didn't till peach told me about it. And then I was like. Obviously there has to be a sequel.

This is actually called ball-do 2: VIBALLDO but I wrote down the wrong name because my brain refuses to accept there's a product called the viballdo in the world.

In a year of dating (a wonderful year, full of joy and laughter and everything Nicky wanted out of a relationship with Joe and never expected to have) Joe had never asked anything of Nicky that Nicky hadn't been happy to give. He barely had to glance his big beautiful eyes at Nicky before Nicky was offering to do whatever it was Joe wanted. This is the first time he's ever had to pause before saying yes.  'My love…' Nicky begins slowly, unsure where he's going to end up. The gift voucher in his hands sparkles up at him with an alarming amount of glitter. 'I—Am I not…tidy enough?' Joe blinks at him, and then his already wide smile gets wider, his dimples showing even through his beard in the way that always makes Nicky weak at the knees. 'You're perfect,' Joe says through his smile, his hand warm on Nicky's knee. 'The second part of your gift will make the first part make sense.' Struggling to see how anything but an unhappiness with Nicky's personal grooming can make a voucher for a "masculine personal waxing session" make sense, Nicky puts aside the glittery cardboard and reaches for the wrapped box the voucher had been sellotaped to. VIBALLDO, announces the box inside. Nicky blinks at it, turning it over in his hands to see the familiar shape of the terrible toy that brought them together.  "The World's 1st vibrating Ball-Dildo - penetrate and stimulate your partner with your balls!"  says the front of the packaging in aggressively cheerful lettering and odd formatting. 'Happy anniversary, darling,' says Joe through a grin that's no less loving for how sharklike it is. It may be that Nicky deserves this. In six years of friendship, one year of dating, Nicky and Joe have developed many inside jokes. Nicky can simply raise his eyebrow a certain way in the right contexts and have Joe in stitches. Similarly, Joe has a particular way of saying the word intimately that makes Nicky laugh his most unflattering, snorting laugh every single time. Nicky's favourite inside joke of theirs happens to be the ball-do, and Joe's attempts to use it. He takes particular joy in quoting Joe's review of the thing back at Joe when Joe can't reach him to make him stop. 'It was such a special experience the first time,' says Nicky quickly, trying to get ahead of this. 'I wouldn't want to do anything to spoil our memories of that night—especially so close to our anniversary.' 'Sweetheart,' Joe says, leaning close to kiss the hinge of Nicky's jaw. 'Nothing could spoil our memories of that night. This is so we can make new memories.' 'Surely we've already made all the memories we can with the ball-do,' Nicky says, trying not to sound too much like he's looking for an escape.  'No no,' Joe interrupts, plucking the box from Nicky's numb hands. 'It's a new version. This one vibrates. Plenty new experiences to be had.' 'My love—' They're reaching a critical mass of endearments. Nile once told them she could tell how close they were to arm-wrestling or, later, leaving early to fuck by how much or how little they used each other's names. 'I would never force you, beloved,' says Joe with absolute wide-eyed innocence. 'If you don't think you're up to it, it's alright. It's a lot, I know.' Nicky blinks at Joe in disbelief. Disbelief that not only would he be so transparently baiting Nicky, but that it was working. 'I read the instructions too, last time,' Nicky says, instead of the fuck you he wants to. (An affectionate fuck you, but a fuck you nonetheless.) 'You don't have to wax before you use it. You can just trim.' Joe's bashful expression is one of Nicky's favourites. It's no less impactful when he's blatantly being a little shit. 

[sparklecareforrealjustice]

context? spare context mods?

unfortunately none of us HAVE the context unless you ask Mod Sunny directly. they most likely planned this all out when we first started our blog. i have no clue if they did that or not but it's my own theory. we had our inside jokes about Mod Jay, including me and Sunny in private. they're my friend despite the problems this brought upon us. i'm not even sure what happened with mods inbetween but i'll give Sunny, or Jay, the benefit of the doubt. i still trust them. respectfully, i believe i'm the only one that remains not mad at Sunny. i apologize to everyone Sunny has confused and honestly i am more than willing to answer any further questions on this. i'm sure i'm more than able to do so... i think.

-📎

[eddiesghxst]

OKAY, SO, HERE'S A CONTEXT THAT YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR LMAOOOOO

I SAW HIM TWO YEARS AGO, DECEMBER 2022 AND THAT'S THE FIRST TIME THAT I SAW HIM IN PERSON AND BUT THE THING IS HE ATTENDED THE EVENT VERY LATE 💀 BUT HE REALLY CAUGHT MY ATTENTION BECAUSE GIRLLLLL HE DRESSES UP SO NICE AND HE HAS A VERY COOL STYLE AND THE ONLY THING THAT HE DID WAS TO SMILE AT ME AND OF COURSE I WAS SHY TO COME UP AT HIM SO I SMILED BACK LOL- BUT DEEP INSIDE I WANNA TALK TO HIM SO BAD BUT WE HAVE TO LEAVE ON THAT DAY BECAUSE IT WAS SO LATE TOO AND THAT'S IT LMAO

SOOOOO ONE YEAR LATER.....I ONLY SEE HIM IN HIS SOCIAL MEDIA LMAOOO

I WAS ATTRACTED TO HIM, I WAS VERY POSITIVE THAT I WAS ONLY "ATTRACTIVE" TO HIM AND YEAH THAT'S WHEN I THOUGHT UNTIL THIS MONTH SEPTEMBER 2024

THAT'S WHERE IT HIT ME LMAO I HAVE FULLY COME UP TO THE ACCEPTANCE THAT I REALLY DO HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM I JUST REALIZED THAT I AM ONLY LIVING IN DENIAL

I EVEN CONSULTED MY MOM FOR THIS AND SHE SAID "YEAH, YOU GOT IT REALLY HARD DON'T YOU?" SHE WAS SO GLAD THAT I HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM LMAOOOO I CANNOT- IT'S BECAUSE MY PARENTS AND HIM HAD A COUPLE OF CONVERSATIONS SO I GUESS THAT'S A GOOD SIGN THAT THEY HE LIKED HIM TOO???? WE'RE IN A EVENT ON THAT DAY I WAS BUSY ENTERTAINING THE GUESTS LOL SOOO I WAS JUST ADMIRING HIM FROM AFAR I LITERALLY GET SO NERVOUS AROUND HIM FOR ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING REASON WHY I SHOULD BE BUT YEAH I HATE IT THAT MY WEAKNESSES ARE GENUINE KIND MEN, SOFT SPOKEN AND VERY CULTURED IN MUSIC AND FILMS

BUT WE DO GET INTERACT FOR THE LAST MINUTE THOOOO BUT THE WHOLE THING WAS SO RANDOM BECAUSE HE WAS JUST THERE THE ENTIRE TIME AND I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE THE GUTS TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT WHEN THERE'S FREE TIME LMAO BUT THANK GOD I STILL DID IT ANYWAYS LOL

After the event, I checked on him, I messaged him LMAO HELP ME and it gave me a relief that he enjoyed the event and he said that it was okay that I didn't get the chance to talk to him properly and I KNOW THIS SOUNDS SO CASUAL BUT I AM OVER HERE GIGGLING LIKE AN IDIOT but he laughed yet again at my joke that I told him that he won't be late next time when there's an upcoming event lol

I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS BECAUSE WHEN I HAVE A CRUSH I JUST SAVOR THE MOMENT WHEN THEY DO GIVE ME THE ATTENTION BUT I WOULD NEVER DO ADMIT IT THAT I HAVE FEELINGS FOR THEM LMAOOOO if I was in highschool, I would be hurt from the rejection if ever lol but today???? I don't know I feel embarrassed AHAHAHAHAHAHA *sighs* THIS IS THE PROBLEMS OF ME HAVING A HOPELESS ROMANTIC THOUGHTS AND ALSO BELIEVE IT OR NOT I DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND SINCE BIRTH AND I DON'T EVEN HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH ANYONE BNSMAMAKAAJAIAI this is why I am freaking out

The fact that he and my crush from 10 years ago also share the same trait : THEY'RE BOTH FUCKING SHY 😭😭😭😭

Rachael, I think this is my calling because he has ✨long hair✨ and dresses up like a damn rockstar AND GUESS WHERE THAT CAME FROM 💀💀💀💀

bonus part : we also share the same age BYE-

My apologies again, Rachael, but I trust sharing this silly glimpses of my life with you, I love you lots <3

OKAY IM GONNA ANSWER EVERYTHING IN THIS ASK SO HELLOOOOO

stink i hate to say it, and i’m gonna hold ur hand when i say this, but there’s no running. you, my love, are caught.

HEHE OKAY BUT SERIOUSLY IT SOUNDS LIKE HES A NICE GUY AND U SAID U HAVE THINGS IN COMMON SO I SAY BITE THE BULLET AND JIST TALK TO HIM U NEVER KNOW THIS COULD BE UR MANNNN HE COULD BE THE ONEEE

sometimes men need to be grabbed and tied down okay, sometimes they really won’t make the first move they’re just dumb BUT I SAY GO FOR IT BESTIE BOO

U MISS 100% OF THE SHOTS U DONT TAKE !!!

[whatareyoudoingwithamaserati]

WHY YOU🫵 SHOULD VOTE FOR BEEFGEEF‼️‼️

For context: beefgeef is made up of cats (me) and sasa (@manicpixieautism) and we have both made it into the real life/oc QPR part of @qprsmackdown!

Reason number one: we’re gay, and that’s cool!

For real, though. We are the definition of opposites attract for many many reasons, including but not limited to the fact that I am six feet tall (in my dreams) and sasa is four foot six (all the time). Its my tiny polly pocket and I am his very very tall tree. We also are bested by an ocean and 7500 kilometres and a seven hour time difference because god knew that we’d be too powerful if he put us on the same continent.

We both have many many tags dedicated to each other on both our blogs and between archiving things that remind us of each other, sometimes we get up to really corny cheesy public flirting just because we can :]

Our theme song is Hell and You by amigo the devil, which sasa sent to me one day. I then proceeded to attempt to learn it on the guitar so I could impress and woo it with my mad mad skillz. It’s about loving someone that you’d be willing to rot in hell with them, about being flawed and imperfect and shitty and loving someone despite it all (because home is the last place I’d stand to be with anyone but you) and it’s one of the most romantic songs I think anyone’s sent me.

Speaking of music, even Spotify endorses us, and totally not because we both have over one hundred thousand minutes listened on both of our individual wrapped.

We both also Make Things and we Make Things together! We both crochet and it knits and tats and occasionally I sew and I have so many spots on my patch pants reserved for things dedicated to him. My favourite one is as follows :]

(it reads I love you so, never let me go in Hungarian, and is a lyric from a hungarian metal band sasa introduced me to!)

We may not be very good at traditional romance but by god when we give it a try we slay it hard, one of us can yell BABE and the other will instantly come running, its lovequeer and I’m loveless and together we say I love you so so so much (because it’s never hard for me to say when I’m around it). We both live out of our beds and in PJs because of disability but when we get dressed up we manage to pull off the most bizarre side by side because I only wear black & band tees while he can pull off the most beautiful swagful outfit paired with things its made!!! By hand!!! We share a love for cats and are full of pain and misery and disability but manage to be so so good and happy for each other, and I always manage to feel good and better and uplifted when I’m around him <3

We choose to love and support each other despite not feeling the allo type of romantic attraction, the thought of getting married is physically repulsive to me but if he asked, I would say yes in a heartbeat. (I would also say yes for tax evasion purposes, but that’s beside the point). I know a lot of people won’t date disabled people because of how much work we can take but I would care for sasa through the worst flare up of my life because when it’s him, the work is worth it and easy and it deserves all of the best parts of me. We’ve built our clusterfuck of a QPR on choice and adoration and inside jokes and so many years of watching each other change, and no matter who it’s become and who I’ve become, we still choose each other, because I love who he is and who it makes me want to be, and I’d choose him in any lifetime I had

Also! It’s our anniversary in nine days (8 for it!) and I think that’s super super good reasonings for why we should win

Still not convinced? BEHOLD! SCREENSHOTS OF US! (Below a cut because I am not going to make a new colour of the sky post just yet)

[laesas]

For fanfic ask game 👀, 🌝 and 🖊 please!

OMG I ended up writing so much for these that I'm gonna have to put the long answers under a readmore! But short answers:

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

KimKen dubcon interrogation... 👀

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

Weirdly as of late: Chan! - I'm entering my Dilf 4 Dilf divorce era someone give me pre-canon ChanGun I'm begging.

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

Chay + Tankhun hours under the cut!!

Thanks so so much lovely!!

✨📝 Writers Ask Game 📝✨

💌Send me one here!💌

👀 Do you have any WIPs that you would never let see the light of day? If yes, what are they about?

Soooooo. I there's only one fic that I've actually written up that won't ever see the light of day and that's the 4k or so of the initial ideas and concepts for the KimBig - Kim ended up coming across as more distrustful of Big than he is (because it's Big POV we dont get to see inside his head), and it ended up coming across as a little too "Vegas". While he's rude to Big in canon he isnt actually hugely distrustful; he's banking on Big serving Kinn over Korn to get information on Porsche and the potential mole(s).

I love the energy but it felt very 2-dimensional and I couldn't wrangle the context it to make it work. Plus I absolutely love the emotional vulnerability I've created in the KimBig 2.0 from Kim's perspective - it feels a lot more realistic. I realised if I wanted to use the first dynamic I'd definitely have to make it happen with someone Kim didn't trust at all (cue Ken).

So in short: The rework where it's KimKen - Kim suspects that Ken is the mole and goes all knife-to-throat femme fatale while accusing Ken of sleeping with Vegas. Which he is btw. But that's beside the point lol.

🌝 Who is one character you haven’t yet written for that you would like to?

Considering the rest of the content of my blog you absolutely could not guess this but yeah! Chan...........? the last few weeks I've suddenly been gripped with a bunch of swirling thoughts about his relationships with the three main family boys, with Big who also grew up in the household and how he's not allowed to pick a favourite bodyguard (big) or a favourite sibling (kim). Plus all the nuances of his loyalty to Korn and interactions with the minor household as well.

Chan + Vegas' dynamic particularly fascinates me! Vegas often uses english as a show of status: to include his family and exclude lower ranking bodyguards who are primarily thai speakers (eg. speaking english with macau at the dinner table, speaking english to Porsche and using weird idioms to throw him off balance). In ep 14 he pointedly says 'know your place!' in english to Chan. To any other bodyguard it would be another layer of pulling rank but Chan is acting on Korn's behalf and completely fluent in english so the effect is competely different, as is his response. There's a kind of implied superiority that Chan is immune to, both because of his proximity to Korn, AND because of his fluency in english. IDK if I've explained that well at ALL but there's something super interesting there ✨ Point being: Chan's english fluency vs Vegas' pointed use of english my beloved.

Also I joke about him and Gun giving "divorced" energy, but I feel like ChanGun has the exact same energy I love from KenBig but with even more hatefucking and complex ranks and loyalties. I am entering my Dilf4Dilf divorce era it seems. Rotating them in my mind as we speak.

🖊 Post a snippet from a current WIP.

I'm currently reworking the first chapter of my KimChay which starts with Tankhun and Chay bonding hours! Chay's trying to get Tankhun to let him learn self defence and Tankhun is deflecting.

“What-?” Chay says, momentarily distracted. Khun pounces. “Yes! Robots, I helped him build them, you know! It was like a video game! No need to learn fighting when you can shoot with the computer or make explosions from the safety of your safe room! They were so helpful when- Owh. I don't want to talk about it actually.” “When what?” “I’m bored of this topic now, it’s not interesting to me anymore.” “P’Khuuun,” Chay whines, hopping up onto the dresser and trying more and more ridiculous angles to lean himself into Tankhun’s eyeline as he dips and dodges around Chay’s encroaching face. Chay eventually gives up and grabs hold of his wrist, the way he does with Porsche, the way he did with-  Khun startles and tenses, wide eyed, milliseconds from snatching it away.  “Sorry-” Chay starts, removing his hands, but Tankhun’s arm stays frozen in mid air for a moment before he comes back to himself. Chay watches in the mirror as Khun settles his expression, when he’s satisfied he turns to look up at Chay. Level. His smile is soft but his eyes are blank. Chay’s seen that mask before. “It's fine,” Tankhun says quickly, it sounds clipped and strange. His smile is bright as a camera flash and gone just as quickly. “Could you- in my closet-” He frowns, “You should swap the jackets. You forgot one. I picked it out for you and you forgot it and now your outfit is all wrong. Go and fix it-” he clicks his fingers “Pol. Help him fix it now.” Pol nods, smiling at Chay and walking them back through the wardrobe doors. He beats Chay to the jacket and crouches to pick it up from where it was slumped on the floor. Chay reaches out to take it, suddenly desperate to leave and go back to Tankhun, to fix things, to apologise and tell him he was right and that the jackets do look better the other way around. Pol doesn’t let go. “Hold on, he needs a moment sometimes,”

It all ends up ok in the end! Tankhun is fine really!

In my mind Chay has very much latched on to Tankhun as a stabilising presence (which Tankhun has revelled in because very few people trust him that way). Tankhun is able to support Chay because he just inherently understands a lot of what Chay's going through, but because Khun is so overwhelmingly supportive, sometimes Chay forgets that the root of the understanding is that Tankhun is still traumatised too.

BUT it is fine. And crucially after he calms down, Khun doesn't let Chay shrink and go all apologetic and pliant the way he does when Porsche feels bad. Chay is allowed to feel bad for hurting Tankhun without that requiring him giving up all his autonomy and reasonable requests. I think that's a pretty important thing for Chay to learn - and that theme of autonomy becomes important in his conversations with Kim later!

THANKS SO MUCH FOR ASKING LOVELY LOVELY EGG!!

[ghastlybin]

My skz concert experience that nobody asked for.

I just want a place to detail my memories while some are still fresh in my mind. Lol.

March 27, 2023.

First off, it was raining when we were going inside, hella stairs, was about to (and tempted) to water slide down the steps to our seats.

The girl next to me was kinda rude and kept giving me dirty looks but it’s okay because I’m on my way to her mom’s house as I type this ;)

Tour is titled Maniac. Of course they were gonna play Maniac. It was secured on the setlist. It was so fcking epic though.

THE SPIDER LEGS DURING VENOM WERE SO FCKING RAD.

-okay the notes are out of order from this point on lol-

Felix basically taught us about the water cycle after Muddy water. Science class 101

Chan: “Let’s give a round of applause to the kids for how good their english was!” (He said Something similar to this)

My mom: “this mf did not call them kids knowing they are around the same age”

It’s in their name, lol

So for context, skz played a game team vs team (who can get louder screams) and Changbin’s team lost- (btw it was team muddy water and I couldn’t hear the name of the other team because ppl screaming lol but for the sake of this, I’m gonna say Changbin’s team lol)

Changbin: I took my shirt off and still lost. I’m never taking my shirt off again.

Chan: We already take everything off

[Either before or after, fever dream goin crazy rn]

Seungmin: LOSERS 😆

Seungmin said the crowd barking makes him feel tough.

I forgot to press record for Easy and gave my phone to my brother and noticed it wasn’t recording until after the song 💀 It’s okay, it’s in my core memories.

A piece of confetti fell on me during haven and I fcking screamed as if it had Changbin’s number on it or smth 😭😭😭 my most down bad moment of the year thus far. Lmao.

I saw Changbin smile and was done for the night.

Felix kept winking, mf made me forget who I belonged to. (Joking, joking haha)

Minho is so fcking fine. Dude was GLOWING. I’m so close to blocking them on everything since he wants to be THAT fine.

Minho & Chan performed Drive. My mom knows btw so it’s not like she was gonna scold me as if I wrote the song. She caught on when Chan was like “the city is pretty big and open”. Not necessarily mom-friendly but we’re gonna let that slide.

Chan said Red lights was an adorable song. Everyone and their families SAW the ribbons, honey bee.

Phone gave up when I tried getting one last picture lol. Pfft. She went on a strike but it’s okay, that lil bitch. (Talking to my phone)

Idc I was showing out for Seungmin. The whole fcking crowd was. We do not play when it comes to Seungmin. And I will continue to show out for Seungmin.

Hyunjin sang Ice cream and I did not deserve to hear it, the mf is so pretty and I love Ice cream and I am unworthy but it’s chill, we ball.

Still kinda upset Minho dropped the ps4 controller in the little movie thingy. I’m sorry but those are expensive, I know y’all are rich but that hurt my soul ily still though.

Btw if I’m wrong & it wasn’t Minho, I will take the L. But PLEASE let me know. Like I said, fever dream is going crazy rn and I’m only writing these notes as I remember them. PLEASE let me know if I’m wrong.

I miss Jeongin already. His English (as is the others) is hella good and you could tell he and the others took the time to learn it so I hope they know they did great. The crowd chanted ‘I.N’ and he smiled and I think y’all should continue to do that.

The effects were so fcking cool and Jisung- I could feel his energy from where I sat. He never comes to play, and I hope he (and the others) sleep well tonight and that the sleep hits good.

Felix is the rizzly bear. Count rizz-ula. The rizz-ologist. Dude has W rizz. How the hell did he pull everyone in the venue in 2 seconds?

Felix also said he wanted to live here… honey, ily, but I can guarantee you that you do not. Respectfully. It’s a dumpster fire. Respectfully.

Felix also said “I didn’t even say anything yet” when the crowd screamed before he could speak just because he came on the big screens. Lmao.

Changbin was standing infront of one of the big screens while Seungmin was talking and my dumb ass saw Seungmin’s face zoomed in and tiny Changbin in the corner beside Seungmin’s face and I thought they had editors that shrinked Changbin. No one said I was smart okay LMAO

Idk how to explain it but seeing Changbin felt like drinking water after waking up at 3am. And before y’all (whoever decides to read this) are like “is that good or bad?” It’s good. Don’t lie. I know y’all like quenching your thirst.

BITCH THEY PLAYED HAVEN AND LIKE IDK IF YALL KNOW THIS BUT THATS THE SONG THAT CHEERED ME UP THROUGH A BAD TIME IN MY LIFE AND HEARING IT LIVE???? AND HEARING CHANGBIN’S VERSE (don’t get me wrong, I am ot8 as fck but Changbin is my ult-) I was about to cry. Like I’m about to rn actually. Literally I would’ve loved to hear ANY skz song live but this is the one song I hoped for and they supplied. So yeah.

THEY PLAYED HAVEN AFTER MY PHONE DIED HHHHHH I HAVE NO EVIDENCE BUT IF THERES A VIDEO ON YT OR ANYWHERE PLEASE LEMME SEE :((((

I even avoided ‘setlist spoilers’. If that’s a thing.

They made us bark (respectfully, I refused to bark 😤), they made us meow (I also refused to meow 😤), but I did NOT pass up Haw’ing to Chan’s Yee. I will never pass up a yeehaw, as a certfied yeehaw. However, Chan has yee’d his last haw. (Joking)

Oh yeah Chan asked if any of us rode a horse before and if it was for fun. I know we are yeehaws but bruh, that’s yeehaw to another level. (There were a good chunk of ppl that said yes. Respect.)

I COULD SEE CHANGBIN FROM WHERE I WAS SAT AND THATS ALL I COULD EVER WANT. HE LOOKED SO HAPPY AND HANDSOME. I’m about to get really down bad so I will pause and suppress it.

I collected some of the confetti because skz were shooting it out of cannons. That’s like the closest thing to merch I was able to afford.

Skz (multiple members) were like “hey, if we come back, will y’all come back too??” And ofc my broke ass said yes. Chan’s buying my ticket though so it’s secured. Sorry y’all.

FAM goes hard live. I also loved the backgrounds for each song. Production team was NOT lacking.

The band that played behind them, they are so talented too. Miroh is already a hype song but this band, we let them cook and they SERVED.

My ear drums are still vibrating but I will not complain. I knew what I signed up for the second I put myself through ticketmaster hell <3

My throat also took a nosedive off a cliff. I was about to pass out just to make Seungmin happy. When he says make noise, I’m using my voicebox until it’s begging to rest.

My arms are tired. Like FATIGUED but the lightstick stays up when they say “put your hands in the air” bye.

Also happy birthday to the stay two rows in front of me :) (I saw your sign) 💜🫶

Seeing skz always feels like hanging with friends. I know that’s very delulu of me, but yeah, the past two shows I’ve seen them in, they were always very crowd inclusive and like, idk, I felt safe and like nothing bad would happen.

I have hella PCD now though. Goodnight. I will add things as I remember them lol