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1ddotdhq · 4 years ago

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◟̽◞̽ Mon 23 Nov ‘20🍉

Happy Monday, everyone! Harry won the (fan voted) Favorite Pop/Rock Album at the AMAs last night - AMAzing! He was not there to pick up the award (presumably because he’s filming DWD), but don’t worry, fans made sure to celebrate him anyways: PROUD OF HARRY was trending worldwide when his win was announced. HSHQ tweeted their obligatory bullet point acknowledgement that, uh, it had happened, and then went back to doing whatever it is they do when Harry is off being an actor (though presumably, they’re getting ready for tomorrow’s Grammy Nomination announcements, best of luck!). Vogue also called Harry “the most influential man in fashion in 2020”, and while I agree, the fact that they didn’t name the article ‘Harry’s got Style(s)’ is CRIMINAL! Talk about a missed opportunity!

Louis(‘s team) is active today: they have changed the Spotify background for all of the songs on Walls! It’s now a glitching black xx smiley face with golden lights glowing in the background - a lot like what the stage of Walls on tour looked like! I’ve seen some interesting takes today, ranging from ‘what message is it this time’ to ‘does it symbolize the end of the Walls era’. Maybe, but what it DEFINITELY is, is an indication that there is movement behind the scenes for Louis’ plans - I have MISSED him so this is!!! Exciting! Niall didn't have much to say about the AMAs either, but he wasn't mad at not being asked to play-- he says “gotta have a current song. I don't have anything out to perform.” He was much more excited about what looks to be his golf management company's foray into general sports marketing (“proud of my team at Modest Sport”) and new partnership with another group (Kinetica). Liam has a Naughty List Tik Tok challenge out- and he wants you to tag him and Dixie if you partake. Dixie meanwhile is embroiled in tik tok drama but thank goodness we have no reason to report on that, Liam please stay out of it and keep it that way! And, in a beautiful way to end the day, Martyre posted another picture of Zayn!! It’s a close up of his hands in an Instagram story: he’s wearing two rings on his left hand, both Martyre brand. His hand tattoos are fully on display and, right there in the background, you can see his jawline, his chin, and his left ear (he’s wearing an earring!). Look, if you think I’m creepy for staring at this picture for way too long you have to understand how starved for Zayn content we are - especially after he teased us with those beautiful cover sessions!

And speaking of missed opportunities, the model from the WS video who had the chance to befriend Harry and blew it in every possible way (the one who previously released a screenshot of her DM asking Harry who Golden was about) is back and more embarrassing than ever! She posted a screen recording of all the convos she’s ever had with Harry (there aren’t many, and they’re definitely almost all one sided) because she was “tired of fans saying she was lying” re: the Golden DMs. She just keeps messaging him month after month as he repeatedly replies politely yet briefly, finally displaying a flicker of interest when she out of the blue invites him to a threesome with her and her boyfriend. Harry liked the message, and she said, “is that a yes?” “It’s not no”, he says, and then “boyfriend?” (HAHAHA) but the subject gets dropped (though not before she awkwardly announces that the boyfriend looks like Harry, just what H is looking for I'm sure). Fans, of course, are heavily debating whether or not this is real: is it possible she faked it, even though it's a screen record video, yes, that's very much something you can do, and you can unsend instagram messages (but the mind boggles at the idea that she might have deleted stuff but left in the things she did, which are cringey as hell and include her ex's name and phone number- if the suggestion is that HARRY deleted incriminating follow ups but left what he did, well that just doesn't make sense). If you look at the whole thing it seems pretty real to me, but in no way like Harry had the slightest actual interest in having a threesome with her, or a twosome, or going swimming with her, or in fact anything at all but discouraging her without actually ghosting her (as evidenced by the multiple times he left her on read, including when she told him she’d broken up with her boyfriend – OUCH!) with a brief detour to have some fun with the whole awkward threesome proposal. Popular theories about the whole thing include: this is the beginning of a stunt gf (definitely not but LMAO CAN YOU IMAGINE that would be the worst story EVER), this is a clever segue into seeding bisexual Harry in the service of an eventual come out (which involves accepting this whole uncomfortable mess as a set up like-- really? You think this is what they'd want that to look like?), or this is to make Harry look straight after the Vogue thing (yall have a WEIRD idea of what looks straight but now that you mention it this would be HSHQ...) Fans didn’t really love the fact that she posted a conversation between herself and H, and yeah, it’s a betrayal of trust to be publicly posting private convos- one that Harry surely expects by now given how often it happens but that doesn't mean it isn't shitty if this is real (and if it isn't why on earth would she not go all the way and fake that he had a threesome with her rather than blowing her off?). Overall I stand by what we said about her the other day, GIRL WYD??

#harry styles #louis tomlinson #niall horan #liam payne #zayn malik #guys i have to tell you that i love louis very much a lot #this isn't news i just had to say it #and as for the rest of it #well....is this really a hot take?#i think this is real i think he turned her down #as we all read #and i read the whole thing :(#ughhh wyd indeed #anyways!#song of the day!#everybody talks by the neon trees

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atlcsfcllen-a · 4 years ago

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Alright, now that we know his semblance, heres my take on why Ironwood shot Oscar. Now that he has panicked for a bit, Ironwood is actively using his semblance to focjs on one thing, saving Atlas. Based on the convo he had with Oscar earlier in the volume about humanity, I beleive he may be using his semblance to shut out anything that might stop him from saving Atlas, incluiding his own empathy and compassion. Combine that with what he percieves as a betrayal from Oscar, and you get... that

Which is a super valid point to make!

Before I like-- get into this, I just want to express, very clearly, that just because I have salt with the series, does not mean that you can’t enjoy the show. I’m not going to come down your throat and rip you a new one, or slide into you DM’s / inbox and be like ACTUALLY. YOU’RE WRONG. Because genuinely, love what you want to love. Enjoy the show for what it is and indulge to your heart’s content. The biggest reasons I even have my salt tags are so people can continue to enjoy the show, even while I’m over here going harumph.

With that being said, I just want to make this clear to you, too, that anything said is based on my salt. Not against you. Not against the ask you sent. Your opinion is valid. It will always be valid and it will always earn & deserve a safe space here on this blog. I get heated, but I get heated about the subject material - not the person involved.

That being said...let’s dive in.

SO.

I imagine that with the timing of the reveal of James’s Semblance, this is what RoosterTeeth wants you to take away from that information. They want you to know his Semblance and recognize that because he has ‘Semblance-based-hyperfixation’ [ which is a complaint all on its own for me... ] he’s able to bypass everything within him that should tell him ‘no. this is wrong. don’t do this.’ His goal is set on saving Atlas and nothing is going to get in his way.

That’s dope.

The problem I have is that, if he’s forgoing his sense of humanity in an effort to do what he feels is right, why not shoot Team RWBY? Why not shoot Yang when she admits to giving Robyn the information about Amity Tower? Why not shoot Ruby when she attempts to evade arrest and hides behind his desk to send out her warning message? Because they’re Team RWBY? Because they’re exempt of any and all consequences in the story?

So then, what about the twelve-year-old farmer boy with zero Huntsman training? James, the 40+ year old general of Remnant’s most powerful army, can’t just tackle him to the ground? Subdue him if he doesn’t like the kid talking shit?

Oscar backs away from him. Is clearly intimidated and frightened by him. Puts his cane away. Insists that he doesn’t want to fight and based on previous interactions with other characters [i.e. Qrow at Beacon ] James also doesn’t want to fight. So like-- why even reach for his gun at all? If Oscar is clearly backing down, why doesn’t the dude with military training read that and put him on the ground? Knock him unconscious, even, and throw him in a cell?

James doesn’t sentence Roman to death.

James doesn’t drop Watts into the lava.

WHICH. To be totally honest? Could have easily swayed my decision on him shooting Oscar. I wouldn’t have liked it, but that’s the point. Imagine how much more weight and sincerity this would have had for his actions. If he dropped Watts into that lava pit, and then turned around and acted the way he did in the office, and then shot Oscar? OOF. I could’ve bought the whole ‘tinman losing his heart’ in a SECOND.

Then we have scenes like Nora screaming at him about Mantle and rightfully so! He is taking Mantle’s resources for a project that he believes is for the greater good. It doesn’t make it right, even if he, as a character, believes it to be - a morally grey conundrum that was perfect for his eventual fall. And I was freaking ready for it. I was ready for James to snap back at her. I was ready for us, as the audience, to go-- gasp! James! You’re really coming apart at the seams, aren’t you?? I was ready for him to be demanding and commanding in a way that raised immediate alarm bells. Instead, the dude says nothing.

Instead, he sits down. Has a bit of a moment, but tries to concede with Nora. With Ruby. Agrees, even, to meet with Robyn and negotiate a deal. To assist Mantle in this way. Even despite later on choosing to abandon it, in an effort to ‘save who they can’ - which, again, morally grey conundrum that could have been done so much better.

But it’s like-- James concedes. Time and time again, we watch him fold. With Jaune, we get the brief, momentary glare, but then he stops. Breathes. Recognizes that he knows Jaune is right and that he’s trying.

These are the biggest problems that I have with the end result being shoot Oscar. There is nothing in his character beforehand that eludes to him making this decision. To falling apart this violently literal seconds after apologizing to, who he presumes is Winter initially, for the presumed fate of Fria.

I want James to make bad decisions.

I want to be mad at him and not the story, because that’s what his character was built to be. From his first introduction, we know that James’s end result is stepping into the shoes of a morally grey character. One that will leave you screaming at him because he’s making all these horrible decisions, under the assumption that he’s doing the right thing, protecting his people, keeping everyone safe, but we, as the audience, recognize this isn’t the case, because the story has built around that.

What we get, in actuality, is a sudden and immediate thrust into villainy. Even the part at the end, when Winter texts him about the Winter Maiden’s powers, and he has that cliched villain scream that just eludes to what’s going to come next-- it’s all there, setting him on a path that he doesn’t belong in.

Personally? The only way that I could make peace with Oscar being shot [ I guess?? ] is if the conversation between the two didn’t just elude to James speaking at Ozpin. Show me that he’s speaking to Ozpin. Show me that he’s so lost, so upset, and so paranoid, that he hallucinates - momentarily - seeing Ozpin standing in front of him. That he’s slipping and falling and he has nowhere else to go anymore, and because of that, he’s absolutely losing it. Give me that angst. Let it be something like:

James: “I am done letting other people’s inability to see the big picture, get in the way of doing what’s right. Robyn. The Council. This kingdom. Even you, Ozpin.”

Oscar, tentatively: “...James?”

James: “...No. To you, it’s general.”

Feed me that level of angst. It would give his actions so much weight, and there would be so much to unpack there. Let the light leave his eyes as soon as he pulls that trigger; shattering what little of himself remained. Severing all ties with everyone he’s ever known and/or loved for the sake of completing his goal. For the sake of doing what he thinks is right.

Let me be mad at the character for his pisspoor actions. Don’t make me be mad at him. Don’t shove it down my throat like-- hey. hey. did you get it?? do you get that he’s the villain of this arc???

No. I don’t. Because there is a massive difference between villain and antagonist. So smooth into his antagonist arc. Show me that he’s going to be the force against the protags. Let James get mad. Let him make several bad decisions, such as [ if the story continued to care about these plot points ] leaving Mantle to freeze to death because Amity is more important. Declaring that Robyn is an enemy and should be treated as such; no negotiation. Sending Winter to retrieve the Maiden’s powers while simultaneously drawing back his forces from Mantle; Clover included - leaving a serial killer loose on the streets.

There was so much they could have really played up before reaching the dramatic climax for James’s character, and it just kinda really grinds my gears, given that James had everything required to get him there.

At the end of the day, however, it is RoosterTeeth’s story to tell and I do recognize that, but it doesn’t mean I can’t be salty about it.

#salt #[[salt]]#[ ooc ;; mun hours ]#is this a meta?#does this count?#my first ever meta.#look at me!#a smol bean growing up in the world like a pro!!#thank you so much for the ask though!!#like--#legit #i hope this doesn't scare you away?#your opinion and love for the show IS valid and is ALWAYS welcome here friend #legit.#i just like--#have a LOT to say LOL #james ironwood #rwde

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firstdegreefangirl · 4 years ago

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Eddie Week Day Four: Between The Sheets

Word Count: 2135

Original Pub Date: 17 June 2020

Relationships: Eddie Diaz/Evan Buckley

Author's Note: This whole thing started with a convo in @rebeccaofsbfarm's inbox, so blame/credit to her for helping me cheat my way through this prompt! Love youuuu

Read on ao3 here

Just like aways, tagging: @eddiediazweek @hearteyesforbuck @thisissirius @hearteyesforbuck @dramamineontopofme @twinien @meloingly @myemergence

Eddie pushes the front door open, almost trips over his own feet trying to step across the threshold. Buck is right behind him, laughing when Eddie doesn’t pick his feet up far enough and catches his toe on the lip of the doorframe.

“Shut up, I just want to shower and go to bed.” He grumbles, leaning both palms against the wall for balance as he toes his shoes off.

They’d stopped at a drive-thru on the way to the house, Eddie riding in the passenger seat of Buck’s Jeep because he was already too exhausted to drive. He’d tried to wave Buck off at the mention of food but Buck ordered for him anyway, shoving a cardboard container of chicken nuggets and fries in his lap and threatening to drive circles around town until he’d eaten it all.

The long shift had drained the last reserves of energy from the entire team, but Eddie had taken a harder hit than the rest, having spent half of the night before sitting up in Christopher’s bed and rubbing his back after a bad dream.

“I know, that’s why I had to drive you home. Thanks for the couch invite, by the way. Way better than another 15 minutes behind the wheel.”

“Anytime, man.” Eddie rocks on his feet as he leans away from the wall, shoulders sagging with exhaustion. “You want first shower?”

“You never leave any hot water.” But Buck’s eyes soften when he sees the way Eddie can barely hold himself up. “But you’re not going to make it if I shower first …" He trails off, and Eddie can feel him mulling something over.

Watching Buck think is only making him more tired, so he leans his back against the wall and sighs.

“What, Buck? You going to say we should shower together?” He turns his head just far enough to see Buck out the corner of his eye.

“I mean, we change together at work. Why not kill two birds with one stone? It’s not like I’ve never seen you naked.”

Eddie thinks about what Buck said, processes the words as they roll through his brain. He’s all but dead on his feet, but he has to admit that there’s a certain amount of logic to what Buck is saying.

They’ve gotten dressed side by side countless times since Eddie joined the 118, stood naked underneath separate showerheads in the open-layout shower at the station.

Buck is right, he’s pretty sure. There’s not much difference between catching a glimpse of your buddy in the locker room and standing in the same bathtub to shower.

Besides, it won’t be weird unless he makes it weird, right?

“True.” Eddie nods and stands back upright, careful not to overbalance himself and faceplant. “Works for me.” He wonders briefly if falling asleep in the shower would be considered “weird,” if Buck would catch him if he toppled over underneath the spray.

It would, but Buck would anyway, he decides as he leads Buck down the hall to the master bath.

They stand next to each other to undress, shoulder-to-shoulder but facing opposite directions. It’s not a production, just the way they wind up, each of them watching behind the other, having each other’s backs.

When the water is hot enough to fog up the mirror, Eddie pulls the door back and they step over the edge to face each other under the showerhead. The air is thick with steam, enough humidity that Buck’s hair starts to curl almost right away. Eddie focuses carefully on a ringlet that’s wrapped around the top of his ear, knows that he has to keep his eyeline above Buck’s shoulders, lest he make his best friend uncomfortable.

Here’s the thing: Eddie’s never thought of his shower as particularly small. It’s got more than enough room for him to maneuver, a showerhead with more settings than he has fingers and a glass door that lets in enough light to open the space up without flooding the bathroom.

But apparently when two grown men stand in it at the same time, it’s just tight enough that Eddie has to think carefully about his every move. How can he reach for the shampoo without touching Buck’s bicep? Can he lean back far enough to rinse the suds out of his hair without invading Buck’s personal space? Can he lean back that far without falling over, on account of the exhaustion dragging through his limbs?

He can, it turns out, but he’s really too tired to have to actively think about it. Maybe Buck’s big idea saved them a few minutes, but by the time they’re painstakingly switching positions, letting Buck run his hair under the water and wash the lather from his body, he’s exponentially more drained than he was when they walked in the front door.

Thankfully, they’re both able to clean themselves up and dry off without bumping into one another. There’s enough space in the open bathroom for them to stand a couple of feet apart as they wrap themselves in fresh towels, and Eddie tosses Buck a clean pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt when he’s digging through his dresser drawers.

They don’t face each other when they’re getting dressed, leave enough space between them again to avoid any unintentional contact. But when Buck stands up, Eddie winces in sympathy at the way his back pops. Through the haze of his exhaustion, he realizes that Buck probably shouldn’t sleep on the couch tonight, especially not if his back is already making sounds like that. A solution pops into his mind and falls out of his mouth all in one fell swoop, before he can realize what he’s saying.

“Sleep in my bed.”

Buck turns around as he pulls the shirt down over his stomach, eyes going wide in surprise.

“What?”

“Your back popped,” like that explains it. “Sleep in my bed.”

“Eddie … I’m not kicking you out of your own room.”

“No, you’re not.” Eddie nods, the fringes of his idea fitting together in his head. “It’s a big bed. We can both fit; I have a king. You’re too tall for the couch, Buck. It’s fine, I’m inviting you.”

Eddie’s tired enough that he’s starting to feel a little drunk with it, but he’s not so far gone that he misses the way he can see Buck struggling with his options.

He sleeps over all the time, but Eddie’s never suggested sharing the bed before. He’s thought about it, in the mornings when he can see Buck trying to work the knots out of his shoulders without Eddie noticing, but he’s always stopped himself before he says anything.

“OK,” Buck nods, but he still doesn’t seem sure. “But only until I convince you to buy a new couch, dude.”

Eddie doesn’t say anything, is suddenly too close to sleep to formulate a response. He steps past Buck, back into the bathroom, ignoring the way their bodies brush against each other as he jams his toothbrush haphazardly around his mouth. As soon as he feels like he’s at least brushed most of his teeth, he’s spitting into the sink and stumbling across the room to pull the blankets back and collapse into bed.

His face is buried in his pillow, but there’s just enough light seeping in at the edges of his vision that he’s still awake. So he waves one arm absently behind him, hoping Buck gets the message.

“Turn th’ light ‘ff, come lay d’wn.” The pillow muffles his voice, even as it carries back to his own ears, but Buck seems to know exactly what he’s asking, because a few seconds later, the room goes black and the mattress dips beside him as Buck settles in.

“You’re sure about this?”

They’re not touching, but Buck is close enough that Eddie can feel his breath hot against the side of his face.

“Yes, Buck ‘m sure.” Eddie groans and rolls over. “We don’t have to cuddle or ‘nything. Just shut up and sleep.”

It’s his last conscious thought, until he wakes up the next morning with an arm slung across Buck’s waist. He looks up slowly, only to find that Buck is already staring down at him, and snatches his hand back.

“Buck! I’m-”

“Don’t worry about it. Doesn’t have to be a thing.” Buck rolls over and stands up, and they don’t speak of it again. Buck makes breakfast, like he always does when he stays over, and they get ready to ride back to the station after dropping Chris off at Pepa’s to catch the bus.

But it does become a thing. Buck doesn’t stay over any more often than he did before, but there’s a whole new routine now.

It turns out that it’s actually really convenient to have someone else in the shower to give Eddie a hand with that strip of skin on his upper back that he can’t quite reach. And there’s nobody in their right mind would sleep on the couch when Eddie’s mattress is on offer right now the hallway.

There’s no deeper meaning to it, other than the convenience of having someone right there beside him. After the long shifts, they’ll lay awake together, reassuring each other that they’d done everything they could. They always start out fully clothed, leaving a careful distance between them, but after a few weeks that changes too.

Now, more nights than not, he and Buck will wake up curled together and find that one or both of them had pulled their shirts off overnight.

It doesn’t have to mean anything though, and every time Eddie tries to decide if it does, he remembers that he’s setting an example for Christopher, showing him that two men can be affectionate and open with each other.

That’s it. That’s all it means.

Which is why he doesn’t think anything of it when he throws Buck’s shirt in his duffel bag before work one morning. Buck had stayed over the night before, but left before Eddie was awake so he could make it across the freeway for an early dentist appointment before work. He’d brought a change of clothes, but Eddie isn’t surprised that he was rushing to get out the door and left his shirt behind.

He isn’t sure why it’s so important that Buck never leaves clothes behind, but that seems to be the line they’ve silently drawn in the sand.

So he takes the shirt to the station, but Buck is already out of the locker room when he walks in. He changes into his uniform, then carries the garment out to the common area, trying not to let himself think about how soft and worn in it feels before he tosses it at the back of Buck’s head.

“Hey, you left this in bed last night. Figured you’d want it back.”

Buck reaches up and pulls the shirt off of his head, turning it over in his hands before folding it neatly and setting it on his knee.

“Thanks, Eds.” He doesn’t say anything else, or react otherwise, but when Eddie looks around, Hen and Chimney are staring between them, mouths agape in twin ‘o’s.

“I’m sorry, what?” It’s Chim who breaks the silence, leaning forward like there’s some remarkable story about to be told.

“What?” Buck blinks at him. “Eddie’s bed is way comfier than his couch, so I sleep there now. I suppose you’re going to say it’s weird that we shower together sometimes too? We’re best friends, we don’t need boundaries.”

He sounds dead serious, and Eddie finds himself relieved to know that Buck isn’t any more hung up on how to describe their routine than he is; they’re friends who share a bed and a shower, who cares?

“It’s not weird,” Hen sets her hand on Buck’s knee, right over the shirt. “It’s just not friends, Buckaroo.”

Buck says something in response, but Eddie isn’t sure what it is, can't make out the words over the sound of the realization ringing in his ears.

It’s not friends.

He’s still reeling from it that night, lying in bed with Buck, whose made himself comfortable tucked into Eddie’s side. Eddie’s arm is around his shoulders, fingers toying lightly with the groove where his bicep and chest are pressed together. He can’t stop thinking about what Hen said earlier, about the freight train that drove straight into his heart.

It’s not friends.

Maybe … just maybe, if it could feel like this, if it could feel more than this, better than this, Eddie thinks he might want to be more than not-friends with Buck.

But sleep is pulling him under, so he decides that’s a thought that can wait until they wake up next to each other in the morning.

#eddie diaz week #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #evan buckley x eddie diaz #eddie diaz x evan buckley #bed sharing #shower sharing #911 #911 fox #911 fanfic #9-1-1 fox #9-1-1 fanfic #9-1-1 #buddie fanfic #katie writes #kw20 #originalcontentfirstdegreefangirl

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alexiaugustin · 4 years ago

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pls give your honest opinions on eliola friendship / relationship 🤣

Okay so I think that most people already know that I'm not found of it at all so at the beginning I just wanna say that I do not hate it simply because I want to hate it and everything that happens on that show, but because I was thrilled and had high expectations when they first announced that they would have a brother- sister relationship this season. So everything I'm gonna say now isn't coming from a place of hate but complete and utter disappointment because that's what their storyline was. Also disclaimer; everything I'm gonna say isn't me hating the characters but me criticizing the writing and how the writing made both of them quite unsympathetic at times.

So let's begin with the first lola/eliott clip I ever really liked and that was their first meeting at the funeral. I just like how Eliott noticed that she was all alone and decided to talk to her because that's probably smth he wishes people would have done for him when he was lonely. I loved their bickering n how Eliott was the second person who made Lola genuinely smile that season and just like Maya he didn't let Lola's cold attitude throw him off. So being the naive clown I was I actually believed that they might do something good with them and that their storyline could live up to my expectations but oh hell no.

The opportunity of them getting closer n talking at the urbex party was right there and skam france just didn't use it. I actually thought that they would drop a clip after midnight as the first clip of ep3 where they would start making conversation because they were all hanging out with eachother anyway and then maybe start following eachother on instagram or smth. But no. Eliott and Lola meeting eachother at that urbex party wasn't there to develop their friendship and make them have a natural connection in the clips afterwards. Eliott being an urbex legend wasn't there to actually give his character more depth, it was just there so Eliott could lie to Lucas and Lola knowing about it so she could manipulate Eliott in ep8 but we're coming back to that plot later.

Well yeah wasted potential on that urbex party let's talk about the next party where they meet again: Daphné's birthday party. Again I know that it's a party and it's likely for people to just talk to everyone so I wouldn't say that Eliott and Lola talking there was coming out of nowhere. What did come out of nowhere tho, was their dialogue: "We're the same you and I" I'm sorry but first of all what teenager talks like that??? And second of all what exactly do you even know about eachother. Ah yeah right nothing because you never really talked to eachother before. I know that in interviews they have made up a whole background story as to why Eliott felt so cOnNeCtEd to her but none of this was ever brought up on screen so for me there's no explanation why he would say smth like that. Then the whole urbex lying to Lucas convo yada yada I pretend not to understand french and we're just gonna skip over that part of ep3 now. Next clip of the party Lola feels lonely and left out because Thierry acts like Daphné is his only daughter and for some reason Eliott looks @ Lola from across the room like that: [I'm to lazy to put a screenshot of the scene but y'all know the shot I'm talking about] and I remember the evening they dropped that clip and everyone was yelling and thinking that this look means that he's gonna fall in love with her. Yeah at best I would think that this looks like falling in love, at worst this look reminds me of Joe Goldberg. And I know that the scrip wasn't like: Eliott side eyes Lola like some penetrator from across the room but it really looked like that and it's the director's job to correct Maxence's acting because that really really wasn't it.

Next eliola clip is Lola going to Eliott's video shop. How she knew that he was working at that exact place at this exact time will forever stay a mystery. If only skam france would remember that they are a transmedia show and Eliott and Lola could have just texted after Daphné's birthday party??? But no she was just completely out of nowhere visiting him at his workplace and don't get me wrong the clip itself was good and them watching a movie together cute but I still wanna know where it suddenly came from. She didn't even seem to like him that much before so her going there when she wasn't feeling well just threw me off and I was like okayyyy whatever. It truly feels like they either deleted clips in between or forgot to upload some text messages.

Aymeric plot: I was kind of torn between liking the clip n disliking it because back when they dropped the clip I was just glad that Eliott got Lola out of there and I knew that he would bring her to his flat so she would feel safe but on the other hand I'm not a huge fan of this whole savior trope in general even tho I do get that it made sense for her to call him in that situation. But now that the season is over I don't even have to feel torn and can just say that I absolutely hate this whole storyline because they used sexual assault as a plot device so they wouldn't have to come up with some complex writing ideas to build up their friendship. So the next day skamfr acted like sexual assault isn't something traumatizing and never brought it up again it truly just existed so Eliott could play hero and Eliott and Lola could be friends. It was never brought up again not even in one single fucking conversation. How fun😑😑

I've said it before and I will say it again I will always hate that Lucas was allowed to have many friends and hang out with them whenever he wanted n be affectionate with them while Eliott's only friendship was actively written to cause problems in their relationship. I'm not even blaming Lucas' for his reactions this season because I'm sure that I would have reacted the same way if I were him but they could have just written the eliott/lola friendship in a decent way and left lucas out of it. It would have been really simple but instead they chose to make almost every Lola n Eliott interaction a problem between Lucas and Eliott and then they never even solved their relationship problems, not even off screen so that's truly a whole next level of skamfr being one hell of a stupid show.

Apart from that I really really liked the Saturday clips and they were the only clips I ever got sibling vibes from. Eliott being ready to run with Lola so she wouldn't have to face Daphné and Lola saying that she's gonna take responsibility and Eliott looking at her like a proud big brother> very cute also the way Eliott and Lola both got to speak for themselves about their mental health was one of my fave convos this season even tho- and call me a petty bitch for that- they even ruined that clip for me when Lola used everything Eliott told her in that clip against him later🙃🙃

The whole movie plot is ridiculous and I'm actually too tired to bring all of it up again so I'm just gonna say that Eliott asking a girl with zero acting experience and a crew with zero filming experience to shoot his uni project with him still has me laughing until today. No way in hell that this is something realistic to happen but #ohboy #nicetry for trying to sell that storyline. Eliott and Lola should have never kissed n they should have either changed the script to a friendship version of L&O for Lola and Eliott or let Maya take over Eliott's role when she showed up. This way it would have actually had a meaning for s6 and it would have made sense to end the season with a screening for that movie project. But what the hell was skamfr tryna tell us with that eliola kiss storyline?? The moral n the message where????

Ughhhh my favorite storyline: episode 8. Well I was gone over one weekend and this is the shit I came back home to. Let me tell you it really wasn't fun to watch these four clips in a row I literally had to pause the videos the entire time just to yell n question if I was hallucinating that shit. If their friendship wasn't written badly before then this was definitely the last straw for me. We all know what happened I'm not gonna explain it again let me just say that if I were Eliott I would have felt so damn betrayed and would have never just forgiven that shit in a week. Imagine trusting someone that much with your past and stories about your mental illness and relationship n even your relationship issues and all this person does is using everything you ever told them and even more (still wanna know how she knew abt the houseboat story) against you to manipulate you into drinking which then triggers you into a depressiv episode. Who wrote this and thought that we would still be rooting for this friendship?????

And well yeah that pretty much was it for the eliott/lola sIbLiNg storyline this season. Eliott didn't get to speak for himself about what happened and Lola only apologized for having called him and making him stay at the party but they never actually acknowledged what happened at that party and Eliott just took the blame n happy ending!!! They didn't even get one scene in the last clip together so that already shows us how the writers really didn't give a damn about their friendship this season and it solely existed to serve the mc and to get us to watch the new season n not because they actually cared and let's just say that one could really really notice that🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

#skam france #im sorry this is so long #because i cant just give my opinion #i need to do a recap of the whole season apparently

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pinetasticapple · 5 years ago

Text

What if we had known each other first and fallen in love second

Chapter 3: The Bubbler

Also on ao3 and ffnet

To think Paris was going to start getting used to a magical terrorist was something Marinette never would have thought possible, yet here she was, fighting villains straight out of comic books and what not from said magical bad guy.

And it had been only a few weeks since she had accepted her role as Ladybug, wielder of the Ladybug miraculous and the responsibility of saving the city. Not to mention school was getting more and more difficult and tasks were piling up for sure.

The ambience in the classroom had shifted a little. After she had finally stood up to Chloe, it just seemed to have brought good and bad things. Sure, she had now a new friend in Alya who was new to the classroom and had never seen how they were, and the others were moving from classmates to casual conversationalists, but Chloe had gotten, if anything, a little worse to deal with.

Good thing she wasn’t alone on this.

“That patrol wasn’t so bad,” Chat smirked once he landed on the beam Ladybug was currently sitting on, watching the Parisian street lights “but I got nothing on our local supervillain.”

“And how much of that patrol was you actually testing your vaulting off rooftops?” she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Just a 25% percent” Chat grinned.

“Right” she rolled her eyes “I’ll just go easy on you because your birthday is tomorrow.”

Chat beamed.

“Did you get word from your dad about the party?”

His smile dimmed.

“I’ll find out tomorrow but I don’t have my hopes up,” his legs dangled from the beam, clawed fingers gripping the metal as he spoke. Marinette reached out to hold one hand and give a reassuring squeeze. She couldn’t begin to understand the loneliness and sadness Adrien faced day after day with a distant father, but to ignore even his own child’s birthday? It was unforgivable.

Adrien and her had started on a weird but thankful start. Between knowing each other before officially introducing themselves, the misunderstanding of the chewing gum and the sudden job they were both hiding from everyone but them, Marinette found in Adrien a close friend, a confidant, someone she was starting to rely on and knew he was getting there as well.

“Well, rest assured you will get at least a birthday pastry tomorrow,” she offered a small smile “I’ll stick a candle to a croissant if I have to.”

Chat chortled at that.

“Wouldn’t it be better a cupcake or something alike?”

“Well yes, but you seem to have grown fond of croissants” she shrugged and stood up, her yo-yo ready to be thrown “see you tomorrow then?”

“Of course” he bowed “have a good evening my lady.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes again “you are not quitting on that one, aren’t you?”

“Why should I?” Chat pulled out his baton “you’re Ladybug, a lady and royal.”

“I’m not- “

“Oh indulge me, I watched Sailor Moon last night again,” he grinned and jumped away, leaving Ladybug to sigh and smile as she made her way to her room.

Marinette let her transformation dropped and smiled at Tikki. She looked at the nicely wrapped gift on her desk and jumped to her bed to sleep.

The past days her and Adrien had spent at least two to three nights a week getting to know how their powers worked. Since Adrien’s schedule was over the top, late night was the only time they could really get the hang of it.

Besides, akumas were most likely to pop out during the day. It seemed Hawkmoth also needed to sleep every now and then.

In those days Marinette had got to know her partner in “superheroing” as a dork who loved puns, animation and pastries. He was funny, kind and knew how to lighten up the mood for sure. But Marinette had noticed his personality didn’t flourish as much during school time, a little more concealed and proper, as if he was under watch or something alike.

Mostly about his father. Marinette had followed the Agreste line as a fashion inspiration but to know the personal side of Gabriel Agreste? Well, that was something entirely different to what she thought.

She tried not to think about that. Maybe they’d have some luck and Adrien would get to enjoy a good birthday.

Hours later the phone was buzzing and ringing her awake, startling her from her bed onto the floor.

“Ack!” she rubbed her backside and glanced at the phone. Why had she put her alarm so early again?

Wrap croissant, have gift ready, right. Marinette patted her cheeks and got ahead to be ready for the day.

At the same time that morning Adrien was already having what had to be nominated as worst birthday breakfast ever. His mood only soured more when Nathalie told him the birthday party was a no go. What was the point of turning fourteen then?

He kept his frown all the way to school, where at least Nino tried to insist in having the party.

And the thing was, Adrien did want it. He was curious about what they would do unlike the stuffy high class ones he was used to. Would they have dynamic music? What about the food? And the outfits? The more Adrien thought about it the more he really wanted to have this party.

It was all he could think about all day until lunch time arrived.

“You know what? I’m going to have a little convo with your pops,”

Oh that was a bad idea.

“Don’t waste your time” Adrien sighed “he’s not going to change his mind.”

“He said no?”

Adrien turned to see Marinette walking towards them, Alya next to her. She was holding a small bag in front of her.

“Is that…?”

“Happy Birthday Adrien” Marinette smiled and offered the bag to him.

Adrien opened it without hesitation, snorting at the croissant with a single green candle stuck in the middle. He pulled it out and proceed to eat the pastry instead, not withholding the moan of satisfaction from it.

“Thanks Marinette,” he devoured the rest of it “I mean it.”

Marinette gave him a small smile, only to feel her center of gravity shoved as well as the rest of her body thanks to Chloe pushing her to a side. Right, she was still there.

“Happy Birthday Adrien!” Chloe nearly tackled him, leaving a smudge of lipstick on his cheek “did you receive the gift I sent you?”

Marinette withheld from rolling her eyes, especially after Adrien’s apologetic look. Yeah, Marinette couldn’t still stand Chloe but she was Adrien’s childhood friend.

A brat nonetheless but her friend.

It was a good thing Adrien was getting more friends.

“Uh, no?” Adrien would have known. He also knew clear as day Chloe forgot about it. She was never good at keeping track of days. A part of him wanted to peek behind him to confirm Sabrina was probably by the door with the calendar on her phone. He sent Marinette another smile to apologize but Chloe was rambling about getting some delivery guys to give it tonight.

“That was…something,” Alya raised an eyebrow.

“That’s Chloe,” Adrien shrugged as he wiped the rest of crumbs away from his fingers “but anyway, I should get going,” he pulled out his phone with a frown “have a photoshoot.”

“What? But today- “

“Hey, I’ll see you after lunch” Adrien smiled at them and walked towards the car that had just showed up.

“This sucks,” Marinette and Nino said almost at the same time.

“I’m going to speak with Adrien’s old man,”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” Marinette looked at him.

“Worth a shot” Nino capped his bubble bottle and smiled at the girls “I’ll let you know of it.”

Marinette had a bad feeling of how that was going to go down. It was then that she remembered she had Adrien’s gift in her bag.

“Ah shoot,” she frowned “Nino! Wait!”

“Yeah?”

“Could you leave this for him?” she pulled out the wrapped gift “I would but I have to go back home now and- “

“No problem dudette!” Nino took it and smiled, making his way to the Agreste mansion.

Adrien sunk on the car seat. The photoshoot didn’t take long but it was still a bummer to work on his birthday. He wondered if he could convince Nino and Marinette of getting a small cake for afternoon classes or something when he finally reached home.

But what he saw at the entrance was definitely a surprise.

Adrien was also surprised Nino was granted an audience, considering how busy his father always seemed to be to even spend a meal with his own son.

“Nino?” Adrien walked towards him, just as Nino continued rambling all of Adrien’s extracurricular activities. His heart warmed, to have a friend willing to face his father, but Gabriel’s stare only downed that emotion, knowing it was futile.

“I decide what’s best for my son,” Adrien heard his icy tone “in fact, I’ve just decided you are a bad influence and you are not welcomed in my house ever again! Leave now!”

Say what now?

Adrien tried to refute but Gabriel had already turned around and left.

“Nino, wait!” he went after his friend, hurt as he looked Nino’s anger turn to a frown and sad then anger again as he left his home.

Adrien wanted to yell. No, he wanted to yell at his father. Call him out of what he had done to one of his friends!

“Adrien, you should head to the dining room for lunch or you’ll be late for your next lessons” Nathalie called after him.

Adrien closed the door and marched to eat what would be a lonely, dull lunch. He pulled out his phone to text Marinette about what had happened, hoping that maybe she would catch up with Nino and help her find a solution to the situation.

He was halfway his meal –which was mostly greens and a slice of bread- when he got a text from her.

Buginette: Might be too late to comfort him

Too late? Adrien tossed the napkin and stood up, noting how quieter his house was.

“Nathalie? Father?” he called out but received no answer.

Oh no, was Nino akumatized? It had to be the only thing that came to Adrien’s mind as he typed an answer to Marinette, only to be startled by the sudden “SURPRISE!” shout in front of him.

“Hey, hey, hey birthday boy!”

Adrien looked up to see a very obvious akuma standing on a bubble calling for his attention. He was dressed in black and red with blue skin and, wait, was that a tank top or an armor? Adrien had to wonder if Hawkmoth knew anything about villain design or if this was the mere subconscious of the victims.

Oh, right. The akumatized victim was talking about a party and had bubbles and…wait the voice was a little familiar.

“Nino!?”

“Let’s get this party started!” the Bubbler jumped to a dj set and started to play a catchy song that had his classmates dancing, but Adrien sneaked back into his home.

Oh this was bad. He knew what he had to do for sure. Nino was his friend and was akumatized because he tried to get a chance from his father.

It didn’t help at all that Plagg was voicing out his deep desire to actually enjoy a birthday party. The little god had a point. When was he ever going to get a chance at a party? When he was 18? That was way too far. Besides, there was no harm to the city, no one was actively in peril.

He could get to enjoy a few minutes, transform, trap the akuma and all would be good!

Adrien went back outside where his classmates were still dancing and decided to mingle in between. The music was swell and no one had to follow a dance routine, so that was already a bonus. But the more he moved around the more he saw the lack of energy in them, as if they weren’t into it.

Suddenly the music turned slower and couples were forming around him.

“Is it me or does everyone seem a bit weird?”

“Forget about them, let’s go dance!” Chloe pulled him to the dance floor, clinging to him as she swayed to the music.

Ladybug jumped to the source of commotion, Adrien’s front yard.

“Huh,” she observed the situation. There was the bubbler at a dj stand while her classmates and friend were slow dancing and, wait a minute, was that?

“What is that cat thinking?” she huffed as she saw Adrien dancing with Chloe. He was here the whole time? With the akuma so close? Marinette frowned when suddenly she saw Chloe leaning forward to kiss Adrien.

Something inside her churned, like if she had eaten something spoiled. She activated her lucky charm, a record falling in her hands. Ladybug looked around her, convoluting a plan to turn around the situation, a hyped music boosting out of the speakers to break everyone apart.

She smiled, only to jump away to a safe place once she heard the beeping from her earrings.

That was a bit too fast for her liking.

Marinette stretched her hands to catch Tikki, offering the small kwami a nervous smile.

“Marinette,” Tikki rubbed her head, throwing Marinette a stare.

“I…don’t know why I did that” Marinette looked back “but I needed to get his attention?”

“Sure, and jealously had nothing to do with it” Tikki crossed her arms.

“Je-jealously?” Marinette blinked “I was not jealous? Of who? Chloe?” Marinette rolled her eyes “what would I even be jealous of?”

Tikki refrained herself from rolling her eyes.

“But, akuma, he’s not going anywhere” Marinette smiled again “we’ll go in, get you some food to replenish and I’ll pull a certain stray cat’s ear to help out.”

She let Tikki back into her bag and sneaked into the party, right towards the snack table to stash some cookies, when she crossed sight with Adrien.

They stared at each other, Adrien smiling nervously as he pointed at the door, with Marinette sighing and following after him. They did need to transform to face the Bubbler after all.

“So, having fun?” Adrien asked once the door was closed.

“Oh I don’t know,” Marinette crossed her arms “what about you?”

Adrien’s shoulders sagged and Marinette couldn’t help but to feel bad. This was, akuma or not, something Adrien had always wanted to try. To have for himself. And yeah, the conditions of how he was having this party weren’t the most ideal but Marinette couldn’t take that away from him.

“I’m sorry Adrien,” she sighed “you deserve to have a party, especially today.”

“That’s what I said” Plagg poked out of Adrien’s shirt, only to be received by a scowl from Tikki “ah…”

“I am not surprised,” Tikki frowned more when a loud scream from outside made them turn to the window, Ivan getting thrown to the air in a green bubble.

“Oh no,” they said at the same time, looking at each other with decision.

“Tikki, spots on!”

“Plagg, claws out!”

They went out from different sides of the house to stop the Bubbler, only to be swallowed by one green one, with the usual litany of handling over their miraculous. The more the Bubbler talked the more Marinette got an idea of why Nino had been akumatized.

“They care for their kids, they love them!”

“Most adults do anyhow” Chat Noir mumbled, earning a soft glance from Ladybug “you must bring the adults back!”

“No, never” Bubbler grinned “know what? Since you care about these adults so much, why don’t you go float with them for a while?”

Next thing they knew; they were tossed high to the sky.

“Use your cataclysm!” Ladybug yelled as they went higher than the top of the Eiffel tower.

“Couldn’t you have said that 500 hundred feet ago?!” Chat Noir stared at her and summoned his magic. He didn’t think much as he slammed his cataclysm on the bubble, both dropping down way too fast for his pleasure.

“Your stick!” Ladybug yelled as she pointed at the Eiffel Tower, the wheels in Chat Noir’s mind running to catch on her plan. It was ingenious!

He threw it hard, the baton slamming into the tower with force. Ladybug grabbed his hand and threw her yo-yo at it, the string twisting around it to create a vaulting pole for them to swing and land on the street.

“Good thing cats aren’t afraid of heights” he smiled just as his ring beeped and Ladybug threw him back the baton “what’s the plan bug?”

“His bubble sort she frowned “that’s got to be where the akuma is”

“Then we better hurry” he nodded and ran back to his home, Ladybug right next to him.

They ran and jumped to the top of Adrien’s gate way where Bubbler was just about to trap the rest of their classmates, when Ladybug called out for his attention.

“Sorry to burst your bubble!”

Chat Noir tried to contain his snort. And to think his partner didn’t like his puns.

They knew how to deal with this now. Even with Bubbler trapping their classmates, Chat Noir knew they were going to save them. The fought drove them to the tower (Chat was not going to comment on how often that was getting to be), when his ring beeped again.

“Lucky charm!” Ladybug shouted as a big wrench fell on her hands.

“Your plumbing skills going to help us out?!” Chat smiled, only to jump away from an exploding bubble. That was fine, he thought, he could act as bait while Ladybug thought of something. He jumped high up the tower, climbing and jumping as more bubbles exploded behind him.

He smiled when he saw Ladybug finally ran towards the ventilation vent, the tube going loose as air started to ran out of it. Chat jumped towards it and clung to it, redirecting the air to blow the bubbles away just as Ladybug caught the bubble sort to break it, the purple butterfly caught in her yo-yo to be purified.

“Pound it!” they fist bumped after the Cure swam around them. Ladybug offered to take Nino back to ground since she still had a minute or two to spare.

“See you tonight for patrol!”

Adrien smiled. At least there was some good things coming for him this day.

He kept on that promise even after he had a lonesome dinner, only to be surprised by Nathalie giving him a present from his father.

“T-thank you!” he couldn’t help but to smile as he unwrapped it, revealing a soft cerulean scarf that felt warm to the touch.

It was nice, comfortable, and as Adrien looked closer it was finely done. He smiled as he wrapped it around his neck.

Adrien kept on waiting until night where he jumped out of the window, cladded in his suit. He had to leave the scarf at home, didn’t want to cause any suspicions to anyone who saw him that night, but when he arrived to their usual spot –a rooftop of an abandoned building- he was surprised to what he saw.

There was Ladybug, finishing with setting up some fairy lights around what seemed to be a tent made out of old blankets. The inside had a few cushions and pillows splayed over a plastic tarp, with a few bowls filled with popcorn, pretzels and cookies, with a couple of thermos right next to them.

“What…”

“Happy birthday!” she clapped her hands together “I know this is not like a big party but I figured you still needed a small celebration, maybe next year we will have a better plan to convince your dad-”

His heart swelled up in his chest. To think she had gone through the trouble of making all of this for him.

“He…actually gave me a gift” Chat said “a scarf, can’t you believe it? He didn’t give me a lame pen.”

Chat looked at her expression and frowned but she was back to smiling that he maybe misread what he had seen.

“That’s wonderful Chat!” she sat on one cushion and patted the one next to him, Chat Noir almost tripping on his feet as he joined her “I’m so glad you liked his present.”

“Thank you,” he wiped his eyes “but this! This is so great bug.”

“Well, you deserve it” Ladybug smiled at him “So! I have some of your favorite anime here to watch,” she pulled out a flash drive and her laptop “or we could watch a movie? Or we could just dance too, whatever you pick.”

“Are you finally going to succumb to watch Sailor Moon with me?”

“Only because it is your birthday,”

Chat laughed and waited for her to start running the first episode, sneaking out a pretzel to nibble on.

Despite everything, this was a good birthday to remember.

#miraculous ladybug #ml fanfic #miraculous ladybug fanfic #fanfiction #fan fic

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uhpeach · 5 years ago

Text

oof personal rant about boy and relationship shit below the cut it’s way too long sorry

finally had a talk with boy last night... it started bc they are having a stoplight theme party tn where you wear green if ur single, yellow if it’s complicated, and red if ur taken and he was like “so what color are u thinking of wearing”... and i was like “green i guess bc im single”. but i said it as a joke.... and he was like... “oh well i was thinking yellow”. and i was like “ya me too i guess”... and he was like “ya idk i think most people will either be red or green so we’ll be some of the few yellow ppl which is kinda fun”. and i was like “ok. ya whatever cool”. and he was like “but i’ll wear whatever u want like if u want me to wear red i will”. and i was like “no. no pressure. yellow makes sense.” but then i was making sad girl face i guess and he was like “nooo stop with that face. you’re thinking about something what’s wrong” and then we like went innnnnn with like a convo about “us” or whatever the fuck.

anyways like the things he’s worried about when considering making us official is that he:

1. says he is an extremely jealous and controlling boyfriend? and he does not like who he is as a boyfriend so if he isnt technically a “boyfriend” he has no reason to get that way/can stop himself from being like that. which i like.... dont see at all. and like maybe he had a reason to be like that with his ex but honestly i dont do much or like get hit on so i see it as a non-issue honestly? like im too into him to like even need to be “controlled” like i genuinely want to do whatever he wants bc i just want to see him happy ? but then he said that when he sees me happy it makes him happy and when i keep crying like i have been it makes him really sad and scared that our relationship would be built on a bad foundation. and i see it as the opposite like in spite of what he has done and how he’s hurt me we’ve gotten past it and grown to know each other better and like each other a lot and im still here spending time with him so like idk we think about these things very differently i guess.

2. he was thinking like soooo far in the future for some reason like... when i met him he was pursuing a finance degree in the business school but he like decided music was something he was really passionate about last year and since then he’s been like learning how to use like music production software and how to play piano since then. so he was saying like he doesn’t want me to see him as like a jobless bum loser when i could be with a guy has a secure upwardly mobile job making 60-70k right out of college while he’s like.... working as a DJ and practicing like music production stuff. and i was like..... what r u talking about like i don’t need you to support me? and if ur worried about how i’ll see you like i just want to see you happy i would rather see that than someone complaining about how much they hate their job and life every day bc like.... idk when you l*ve someone all you really want is to see them happy. and then i told him how i have bragged about him to people who like wish they could change majors about how he’s actually doing something he’s interested in rather than sticking with business school which he hatesss.

(he started crying sometime during point two into point three)

3. he was worried about not being able to give me the level of attention ur supposed to give someone ur dating. like he was saying how he practices his music stuff in his free time but like when ur dating someone ur supposed to spend like all ur free time with them but i’ll have to like share that time with his music and he like doesn’t want me to feel like he has no time for me? but i was like dude i dont need you actively paying attention when we’re together like the other night i was doing my homework in his room while he practicing and i was just so stoked to be in the room with him even though we were doing our own things. and also like the people in relationships who spend allll their time with their significant others are people i get SO ANNOYED BY i was like dude... i dont want to be like any of those couples like of course i want to spend as much time as possible with you but i have other “relationships” i need to maintain that im not just gonna drop like some of my other couple friends have. like my friendships are super important to me, probably bc i have never been in a relationship so i like really do love and put a lot of focus on my friends, so if he needs time for his music and did need some private time to focus i would just spend that time maintaining my friendships because i love and want to spend time with them too? like it’s not that deep and i’ve been alone for so long im used to it.....

i think there was more but anyway he was thinking SO FAR AHEAD and asking me like what i want to do and where i want to go after graduation and im like ????? i .. dont know ??? omg ???? what does this have to do with like dating right now like are u never gonna date anyone again until ur ready to date them until marriage im ? confused? i.. legitimately was NOT thinking this far ahead ? but then he kept bringing up how like feelings fade and he like want to make sure his college friends are lifelong friends and how a breakup would make it so that’s a more difficult thing for us to be and im like i get it ? i have brought up that point to so many people like it used to be that i cared more about having him in my life forever like at least as a friend just bc i like him so much but now it’s harder to be like that bc i like him SO SO much like... idk imagining never having been official a few years down the road and just being that girl he had a “thing” with in college. bc that’s not what i want to be to him. like if we do stop liking each other i dont want to have to meet his future girlfriend or fucking wife and be like hi im olivia.. his friend from college. like just calling what we have “friendship” hurts so bad and if i had to look at someone he like loves in the future and call myself just a friend from college that would fucking kill me. like at least if we were exes i would be like hey im his friend-ex-then friend again from college. ya haha things didnt work out but i’ll always care about this guy ur lucky to have him. ya know. there’s a difference.

and all the things i was concerned about were suchhhh immediate issues like... im only not satisfied by the relationship status of like being a “thing” bc i want to actually be taken on dates.. and have someone who would be happy to like bring me coffee if im having a rough day (and like so it wouldnt be weird if i did little things like that too) and so we could like go on a trip together or like as it stands it would be weird for me to like bring him home for a few days and be like “hello family this is my good friend :) we are going to share a bed bc we are... friends :)” like you cant tell ur family about ur “thing” bc like o ur really good friends that care a lot about each other and have sex but ur not dating... like that gives parents too much to think about it’s gross.... and it would be weird for him to bring me to like his hometown to meet his friends and what not bc we are just like ... a thing? and i WANT to do that stuff like it would mean so much to me. but like you only do that with ppl ur dating and i want to be with someone who can like share their life with me and i can share mine with them if that makes sense. also u know what i think it’s fair of me to want to be able to call someone my boyfriend like. that is a word i have never gotten to use and when i like hear it in movies and tv shows and even when friends say it i feel like im being fucking stabbed. like i have never gotten to be a girlfriend and i feel like people see me as less of a person because of that, especially being in my 20s now. idk just like societal pressures are getting to me i hate being a sociology major im like super analyzing like the roles i am “supposed” to take to live up to what it is to be a woman in our society. like i have been a daughter, a friend, a coworker, a sister but i have never been a girlfriend and that is something i feel like an innate internalized NEED to experience idk like it’s just beat into you by media and peers and parents from when ur like a kid until you actually do fulfill the prescribed gender based roles... like if i am not a wife or a mother in my life i might fucking kill myself like ik roles and labels are meaningless but i NEED THEM to like give me identity and security. anyways. uh that was a lot. if u read all this and i don’t sound insane lmk!

#SORRY THIS IS SO MUCH AND IT'S NOT EVEN EVERYTHING

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breezethegame · 6 years ago

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Dev Log #1-ish?

Seeing how I missed like two weeks of mini blog posts, I’m deeming this one an actual “Devlog” (fanfare and such yada yada). I'm just going to call it a Dev Log.

So much has gone on the last few weeks that I’m struggling to piece it all together, so here is an attempt:

Computer Adventures:

So, I don’t haven’t built a dev machine from the ground up for years now, (maybe since college?) and typically just upgrade parts as I see fit (graphics card, ram, processor, etc).

Well, my motherboard has been giving me problems for close to a year now, where it occasionally decides “yeah, don’t really care about your boot device today”, as well as other miscellaneous things that required me to do things like removing the CMOS battery or main drive. I was also running out of upgrade options, so I got a bit fed up and decided it might be time to replace it.

I wasn't going to be cost-effective to get another LGA1150 board and CPU, and I try to build computers with future-proofing in mind. I was also looking to get a smaller case too. I already had a nice GPU (GTX 1070) that I got a couple years ago before cryptocurrency “did the thing” and graphics card's prices got ridiculous, so didn’t have to worry about replacing that.

Ultimately, I decided to do a "completely new" build.

I’ve been building computers for friends and family for many years, so I literally woke up the next day and said, “I’m about to build this thing blind”.

Well, kinda learned the hard way of the hassle of going at it that way (along with committing a couple noobish mistakes)...

Shopping Time!

Lesson 1: Double check store inventory before heading to a store that's 20 miles away

Well, I choose the nearest Fry's Electronics (it was Saturday, and I really wanted to get a machine built the same day). I get there and start looking for all of the cases and motherboards (severally disappointed that they only had one Micro ATX board in stock, something I was looking to get for the more compact build, but not as restrictive as a Mini-ITX, which they had several of). Impatient as ever, I decided I was going to pick it up.

While looking at other things, I hear another customer talking to sales rep, and the rep mentions that they don’t have a certain CPU in stock. After listening even more (I’m noisy, sorry), he mentions that they have NO Intel CPUs in stock. I decided that I had to get in on this convo.

He informs up that as of late, their store may receive like, 10 at a time, and also mentions that their other location doesn’t have any either (both of these locations are 20+ miles away from me in Dallas).

I also find out that they don’t have the specific ram I was looking for either (I ended up getting something a little pricier). He ends up informing me that the Micro Center 10 minutes away from where we were should have some CPUs.

So I end up at the Micro Center and they did have the CPUs, as well as a case that caught my attention. They also had a lot of other nice things too! Kind of wished I would have known to go to Micro Center first, despite it being much farther from home.

Building Time!?

Lesson Two: Get a head-start of figuring out your plan for wire management and how pieces will fit in your new case

I got home and was ready to build. I spent a lot of time trying to get the interior wire management together since it’s a much smaller case than my last one. I ended up spending a couple of hours getting it just right (I don’t intend to go back into this machine once it’s complete since I’m nearly maxing it out spec wise for now), before moving out to everything else.

Getting my old water-cooling radiator in was a bit tough (a very tight squeeze), but after that, adding in the ram, etc was a Breeze.

Hours went by, I installed Windows, software, etc…

I go to shut it down (after having done several restarts for the software installs prior), and it doesn’t want to power off. After 10 minutes of waiting, I manually power it off. Whatever, I’m super tired at this point.

The next day (Last Sunday), I’ve encountered several other smaller issues. Updating the BIOS didn’t help either. Great…

Okay, Building Time For Real

Lesson 3: Kinda make sure things boot up and work before you get too early to clean/tighten things down in your build

After taking the whole thing apart, I ended up swapping out that mobo for another of the same kind (since Frys didn’t have any others), but then ended up ordering different board on Amazon. So waited another day or so and the new board arrived (it’s now Tuesday evening).

I rewired/rebuilt the computer once again, installed the software, etc. I spent most of Wednesday day checking in with the team and catching up with emails and such. Then Thursday as I was beginning to do some work, I noticed that the computer was saying that my Windows wasn’t activated. I go to my Microsoft account to retrieve my key, and the page wouldn’t load to provide me the key and would only show the transaction.

Lesson 4: Make sure to keep your activation key(s) somewhere other than online/digital if you can

It’s super late and the option to speak to someone was obviously closed, but they had a chat option, so I reached someone through there. After back and forth for a while, and him remoting into the machine to check the activation status, he tells me that the key might not be showing up because it was an “upgrade”, so I would need to buy another copy of Windows 10 again.

Lesson 5: Tell "Aaron" from Microsoft no over and over, and don't fall for possibly sketchy things like sales pitches that come out of nowhere

I originally bought Windows Home and upgraded it to Pro on the same day back in 2015, so I told him that and he kept insisting that I buy Windows 10 again. I refused and told him that I wouldn’t and that I’d take care of this in the morning, and he then offered that I could pay a smaller fee to reactivate my Windows 10, but it would be a one time fee of like, $40. (I refused again).

When I go to end the remote session, he then informs me that he “Really wants to help me out” and ends up activating it anyway. (This whole thing seemly suspicious, I ended up recording it). I watched him activate Windows for over 10 minutes through some manual process (it's almost 2am, and I had work in the morning). He eventually finishes and thanks/apologies. Not sure why I even had to go through all that, but whatever...

I ended up spending Friday wrapping up installs and doing a fresh system backup afterward, before moving along with pulling down the Breeze project from source control, and reminding myself of where I left off…

Anyway, long story short, I tried to get a system built in a day, and it ends up taking almost a week!

Okay, but did you get any dev done these last two weeks?

Yeah, somehow!

Health Bar and Health System:

First thing the team and I did was evaluate a few things that are critical, but we’ve been bouncing back and forth on: The Health System

(WIP of a concept we're working on for his health bar)

The reason for this is mostly for game balancing purposes:

Is this a game that focuses on having Breeze (the player) overwhelm his opponents with an array of abilities (think Devil May Cry/Bayonetta, Kingdom Hearts, God of War?)

Or is this a game where Breeze must focus on finding openings to deal damage and avoid an onslaught of danger (think Hollow Knight, Ori, Megaman, pretty much most NES/SNES platformers)

Game design… is hard at times. Sometimes you think something will work well in theory, but when you get down into the specifics, you begin to question how certain things will balance out.

You’d think something like designing a health bar isn’t too trivial, until you realize that the Health bar represents the player’s health, and the player’s health influences the character’s survivability, which is then tied to other factors: what options does the player have to “survive” and what threatens that?

Anyway, not going to get too deep into that because I lack the PhD.

Basically, there was a bit of a rift in the UI design process that led to really evaluating game design items, and I’ve been working towards seeing what Breeze’s options are and how to limit them in areas, or how I can build the world and it’s inhabitants in a way that will make this all work out.

It’s not going to be something that will likely be answered quickly, but nevertheless, that’s Game Design™ sometimes...

Frame Data:

[Insert Craig of the Creek frame data meme here]

I used to have a really convoluted way of tackling this in which I would have events in the animation that if given an ID, it will look for a set of “Frame Data” and then look for a specific frame and then load that information up.

It would then pass that frame information into the active hitbox and if something is in it, math and physics and stuff would happen.

I didn’t change this up too much, but I did reduce the setup process by allowing you to just drop the FrameData right into the frame of the animation (no more extra array and ID lookup stuff!)

New Particles:

We’ve got new particles! There’s one for jumping/landing/dashing dust, as well as one for wall sliding.

In the last update, I added a feature that generates “points” at the edges of a character’s collider box (as well as other “checks”), so this helped in making sure that the particles are created in the right place. This was especially challenging with the wall sliding particle.

Also, with the wall sliding particle, I needed to implement a way to have a “looping” particle effect, as well as making sure the particle effect follows Breeze as he’s moving down the wall

Developing Sprite Model Sheets

We've got models sheets completed for just about all of the cast members, though, since there's several artists on the project, as well as animators (including I), I wanted to get some sheets together that would work as a base for animators to use, and to eliminate elements that aren't needed in the sprites (minor details that would be seen in promotional art or more detailed art in general), as well as get a proper size for the characters in-game.

Misc. Features

I’ve done various other quality of life code changes to make it easier to do certain things, like creating new attacks, making the screen pause/slow-mo when Breeze changes forms, and updated my Debugging Manager so that I can hide/show certain debug messages.

I’ve also been working on a RoomManager, and writing features to look handle what happens when the player enters a room (like starting a cutscene, showing UI, spawning things, etc)

I’ve also been looking into updating the game’s Music Handler, mostly for how to handle looping a song after it's intro plays, as well as finding ways to add effects to tracks!

Other Breeze things:

I’ve been working on getting shirts done through Teespring, and I would have loved to show off some of the shirts I ordered, but Teespring shipped them using DHL, and somewhere between DHL and USPS, my shirts have been sitting in shipping limbo for 5-6 days, despite being like a city or two away from me… Maybe tomorrow ~

Also, working on a couple of enamel pin designs! Haven’t figured out the maker yet, but designs are coming along nicely!

Quick Test Build Coming

So, a week or two ago, I planned on releasing a quick build for the Drop Tier backers and above. There was a lot of features and such that I wanted to get done... before my computer stuff happened. Our goal was to have one out before the end up March, so....

I’m going to release one anyway. Maybe tomorrow?

I’ll be creating a post for those in the eligible tiers once I’m done compiling/building it! Please keep in mind that this build will be very minimal and exists to test out controls/physics. I wanted to make a strong first impression, but I'll chill on the whole "striving for perfection" thing for now!

Also, I'm on vacation this week, so I'll be cramming on Breeze stuff this whole week to make up for lost time!

#Breeze in the Clouds #game development #Indiegame #patreon #Breeze #sodo

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delicateheartstranger · 5 years ago

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March 16, 2020

Dear world,

This has been started actually on the 15th, but since it will take awhile to write out everything I will mark it the 16th.

So here begins my crappy 2000s movie start of a blog. Unlike the movies where at some point my blog will blow up and my life will take either a turn for the worse or better I have nothing to fear because that was barely realistic even back then. Since I wanna make sure though just in case any chance someone who knows me finds this I will not state my name. I’ll tell ya’ll this, I’m 19 years old and will be 20 in October, I like fandom shit, I’m trans, I’m pan, I wish I could go back and kill baby Hitler so I would never be born and no ww2, I’m in love with one my best friends, I have feelings for a guy I met online that lives in Norway while I’m stuck in the U.S., I suffer from ptsd/depression/anxiety/a fuck ton of just not being mentally stable, live at home with my parents right now, have no job, most of my close friends are toxic, and I have no privacy.

I was at college for a few month, but then a bunch of things happened and I had to drop out. When I came back home my parents I feel resented me a bit for not being stable enough to stay at that college (they loved it and want to send me back) so now my home life became a lot worse. I’m in a php program currently so even if it weren’t for the fact that my parents would rather roll over dead than have me work (earn money to get the fuck out) I can’t get one since most conflict with time. I’m 19 and only ever held one real job because my parents claim the house needs to be clean before I can work. I’m not the only one who lives here, but okay. Also I would make less messes if I wasn’t home. Top it off it’s like “we don’t want you working for other people before you do the work you owe us at home.” They have this whole family first idea, but the thing is I don’t feel a part of the family. They decided I had no say when I was younger when moving far from home, I wasn’t a part of it enough to get attention while my brother was sick, I wasn’t a part of it enough for them not to judge me to the point where I quit lots of things I loved just so they’d stop hurting me, I wasn’t enough a part of it that they would do things for me that would be what “family” does.

So yes I will put myself aka my mental health first because you guys never will. Because of the Corona outbreak my area has been quarantined. It means 2 weeks no school (wasn’t enrolls), no physical php, less people in public, and that good old shit. Thing is now my parents are trying to force my brother who’s off in college to come back home AND not let me see my friends physically while locking me up in our home. The most I can do if I wanna leave is go for a walk for like 30 minutes near our house. I hate walking as it just riles me up ever more and brings back bad memories of my parents forcing me to. They tried super hard when I was younger to walk the fat off me. Worked like a charm, said no one. If anything the many years of fat shaming made me gain weight as they didn’t get me a therapist, didn’t think I was depressed, didn’t let me take meds, and all I had was eating to comfort me. So yeah I’m basically trapped in my own house. I think I may fuck up. I’ve been around a month or two clean of self harm, but I know that will change in these coming weeks if I am forced to stay here alone with my folks and brother.

I usually have passive SI and SH thoughts, but within this weekend I’ve had so many that I was close to acting on them. They’ve gotten to the level of overwhelming that it’s like I’m back in 11th grade again. Which by the way, found out one my few friends from that time tried to MURDER my other friend (who is a bit newer, but still) is living in a house for people with murderous tendencies. So that’s just peachy. Oh another friend from high school has a brain tumor which probably will kill him and it makes me super sad even though we haven’t talked in years. I am currently upset about my life choices of who I made friends with.

My three best friends would be LM, DW, and LL.

LL is a friend I made in my third high school. He’s kinda going through lots of shit right now. He used to realize that he couldn’t drink and that he could only smoke in small amounts. Now he’s back on his bs. He’s also having unsafe sex with strangers he met on tinder. Now it’s find to fuck around. Go live your best life. But if you are having unsafe sex that’s a problem. He is constantly having pregnancy scares (he’s trans). All of this while on the fact that when he’s not too fucked up he’s like kinda self center. I told him like the other night when he was doing better that I was feeling really down given some shit I got for being fat, but I was fine talking. This man goes ahead and spends the whole time talking about all these stories about himself and doesn’t let me speak for like the whole time. And he was like on this thing about how I need to do something, but he never got there. Don’t tell me how to self improve when you’re in a worse state than me.

Then there is DW. I’ve been in love with him since middle school. We met at this outside of school after school activity. I fell hard. When I first confessed to him he didn’t really speak to me and avoided me for about a year. Then we became friends again due to weird grouping things at that after school activity. Irony was I was trying to get into the group he wasn’t in so I would lose my feelings. Then after we got close again I confessed my feelings, again. Some how that made us best friends? I mean I’m glad he didn’t cut me off again don’t get me wrong, but it just wasn’t what I was expecting. Now here’s some hard shit. About almost a year ago over the summer (2019) we were talking about my weird love life. You see I still tried to date outside of him. Can’t keep going after something that won’t happen. Then I asked about his love life as it’d been like months since I brought it up directly with him. Turns out he’d been dating a girl for almost a YEAR. He just “forgot” to tell me. I understand he could’ve been worried about my feelings, but I’m more hurt that he hid something that big away from me and lied about it too. We’re supposed to be best friends. Course I don’t wanna hear about how he fucks her or whatever. I just wanna be there for him. And so now I’m getting a taste of my own medicine. He is talking about her. How they go on dates, how they had a dear valentines day date, how he cares about her, how she even was in the same php program as me. I wanna fucking strangle her. She used to be my friend, but we grew apart. Then of course I find out that she’s dating the love of my life. Cool. Worst is when me and him are texting and she has the NERVE to try and talk to me. I don’t ever wanna speak to her again. I will if it makes DW happy, but for my sanity and her life I will avoid that. She’s a fine person, props forgot about me and my feelings for him, and doesn’t deserve the utter rage I hold for her. That don’t change it though. All of this on top the fact we’ve been distantly lately. I noticed about like 5 months ago how I was always the one texting DW and that started our convos. How I was the one putting in effort. So I started to text less. He only about 5 times started the conversations. It was over memes and reply to my general instagram stories. I’ve given up and realized if I want him in my life have to do the texting. I won’t let him go anymore. I’ve tried in the past, it don’t help anything. No matter what I try I need him and even if it’s bad for me it’s no worse than not having him.

Now we are on my closest and most toxic best friend. LM. LM I also met in my third high school. She was kind and charismatic. Thing is she is unstable, manipulative, controlling, hurtful, and just really toxic to me. She’s the alpha of the friend group I’m in with her. She can hurt me so much. I’ve tried taking breaks from her in the past, but when that happens she gets angry. She tried in these times to ruin my reputation. She has so much dirt on me. Top it off she lies like crazy and people just like, believe her? The only ones who have been able to see through her shit would be: Me, LL, and MA. That’s it. Not even her own sister can, least she doesn’t show it. It’s shit like, let’s say I was embarrassed by something and felt bad. LM would say I sobbed over it and yeah. Or she also just full on lies about me doing or saying something. It’s too the point where she’s said things about me that could get me in legal trouble if she told some authority figure and they believed her. Like she claims one time that I was about to drug one my crushes if she wasn’t there to stop me and that I masturbated with his jacket when he left the room in his closet. Yes I’m not proud of it, but when I was in a bad head space I thought about the idea/fantasy of having him take horny pills that SHE showed me and offered me. I did also once smell up my crush’s jacket in the closet. Not proud of it at all. I wasn’t stable and wasn’t thinking in my right mind. Doesn’t make what I did okay, but I did not do anything that would be as fucked as she claimed. Sometimes with that old crush she’ll bring it up saying straight up lies like I went to his house. Never did. Did find my crush on white pages (again not okay, but I wasn’t healthy), but never went anywhere near him outside of our setting. So yeah if I cut her off or just take a break she could realllly ruin my life given everyone believes ever word she says. All of that and I’m still a bit bitter over her manipulating a situation where me, her, and a few friends had a crush on the same guy. She lied saying she didn’t have feelings for him. She told us to confess and when we were like ‘idk not to ready for that’ she went ahead and did it for us. He didn’t like us back which is valid. But then she got really handsy and did things that basically helped him fall for her. Now I don’t have feelings for him anymore. If I do imma just push em away given he wouldn’t be good for me. But they constantly do things now as a couple that feel like an invasion on my being. THEY HAD SEX WITH THE DOOR SLIGHTLY OPEN IN THE ROOM NEXT TO ME ONLY TO LIE STRAIGHT TO MY FACE. So they couldn’t see I’d woken up. I was facing the door and they were full on sex. Like I heard the moans. I heard it all. I knew they were fucking. So when they finished and went to wake me up I pretended to be asleep. Then later that day I brought it up to my friend CS (her boyfriend/ex crush) I thought they were having sex cause I could heard them in my dream, he lied to my face saying I was crazy. Straight up gas lighting tactics LM would use. This isn’t the first time they tried that. Even when I was with someone and we both were like yeah we heard ya’ll having sex they denied it and said we were crazy. Like please just don’t fuck when there are others around or at least have the decency to do it where we can’t hear/wake up from it.

All of this said about each one I love them all dearly. And it’s hard the idea of losing them. It’s just so shitty dealing with all their shit on top of my own.

Now the worse thing happening right now that I can’t even talk to a friend about it that I got my new name outed. So my parents are transphobic, but diet transphobic. Like they “support” trans rights yet do really transphobic things.I came out to them a few months ago and not a SINGLE time have they used the right pronouns. Then when bringing up trans things they have shot me down claiming xyz. I just wanna be me, but the same time I don’t want to set myself up for disappointment. At my php program I go by my chosen name. I told all the staff my situation at home yet the nurse managed to fuck up when emailing and wrote in an email that was attached to my parents my chosen name. So great my parents probably know something is up. I’m gonna fucking cry if they hurt me more. They already invalidate me on so many things I can’t stand the idea of them doing so on something so close and core to my identity. They do it with everything else and most things core to who I am. I had one safe space and the nurse had to fuck it up for me. I just can’t fucking deal with all this.

Top it off the one good person in my life, ESK hasn’t spoken to me in about 3 days now. ESK is someone I met online who lives in Europe. He’s genuinely the only good thing in my life. The only non toxic source of happiness. He brings me so much joy. I’m pretty sure he also has feelings for me or had them at one point. He’s 2 years younger than me and is turning 18 soon. I wanna get him a gift, but not only would that be weird, but he also hates celebrating his birthday. So I’ll just wish him a happy birthday when it comes around. Regardless I might not even be able to since he hasn’t responded in awhile. He has some serious health problems so I am worried he could be really sick. That or he’s angry at me/hates me/doesn’t wanna talk anymore. It could be just my anxiety, but the same time it could be true. I hate that I can’t tell. I can’t even talk to any of my bffs about it since they’ll all be super judgmental. Maybe DW, but even then it’d be hard. I just wanna make sure ESK is okay. He means the world to me. I don’t want to lose him. This is all happening after we both showed full face selfies of ourselves in our last convos. I hope he doesn’t think I’m ugly. It’d break my heart into toooooo many pieces if my looks scared him away or made him lose his romantic feelings for me. It’s not like we could date rn as not only are we an ocean away, but I’m far to emotionally unstable to. But hey that won’t matter if he drops off the face of the earth.

Lastly before I go I wanna talk about this girl in my php program who is legit making me crazy. We will call her LLL. She looks and acts just like my first crush, but if she’d grown up. The only difference is her eye color, age, and where she’s from. She isn’t her, but boy that doesn’t stop my lizard brain. I feel like a piece of trash whenever my eyes wander over her more revealing parts. It’s bad to objectify women and bad that I’m placing this role on her. Plus I’m like 90% sure she’s straight and like 60% she has a thing for a guy in our php group (who is much hotter than me). It’s just so hard since I lost my crush via my abusive grandma. It was her fault I didn’t wake up in time (I was 9) which meant I never got her number. I remember my heart sinking seeing her wave good bye to me from her car window as she drove off. I never really got over her as I just repressed any sense of being not cis het. I only really realized what I had for her was more than “wanting to be bffs” like a year or two ago. Still haven’t had the proper therapy to undo all my baggage. I really hope she hasn’t realized that my eyes linger on her just a little too long or that my feet are always pointing towards her. I want it to be a safe space for her.

SO yeah. That’s like 2% of my life rn plus 1% back story. You guys can tell I say like, so, and ya’ll a tad too much. I don’t know what to do and I have to wake up at 7. If anyone sees this I hope you can give me advice before it’s too late.

Yours cordially,

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kwonchaengrules · 5 years ago

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One Shot: First Trip

Hello! This is an IZONE x Eunbi x Reader (Dom) story. If you’re under 18 or a homophobic, I’ll give you a heads up, please don’t read this one. Thank you!

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"But... CEO-nim, it's supposed to be the start of my Christmas break now." You said to the man in front of you. You give him a forced subtle smile, after knowing from the CEO you need to work for three more days because he wants you to personally accompany the girls on their planned trip to a private resort. Safety reasons.

"I know, but you're the only one who knows the girls' quirks and dirty little secrets. I can't entrust the girls to anyone else but you." He's telling the truth tho. "You still have the right to decline this extended work, just let me know right now because if you're really not available, I'll just tell the girls to resched their trip some other day." The CEO added. So this is a game of conscience then. You sighed. You really have no options here so you just accepted the additional work.

You can feel your face already getting heated as the sun's rays are striking towards yours. It it a perfect sunny morning. It is a perfect day for a trip. You're looking at the girls right now as they excitedly loading the mini-bus with their stuffs. On one side, you can see Wonyoung, Hitomi, and Nako trying to annoy Chaewon with their aegyo while carrying their bags; the latter later on can't stand the annoyance anymore so she hurriedly went to the vehicle first. This action by Chaewon caused the other three to laugh on their success. Beside them, you can see Yena placing a cap on Yuri's because of the sun; Yena as always being a good bestfriend to Yuri. On the other side opposite of them tho, you can see Yujin feeding Minjoo while the latter is sitting on her lap. You can also see Sakura and Hyewon taking pictures together, with Sakura kissing Hyewon's lips. But the one that caught your eyes the most, is how Eunbi is acting like a baby towards Chaeyeon; a sight no fan, or even managers aside from you, has ever know of. You're kinda amused seeing a strong leader in front of the camera, wanting to be dragged by Chaeyeon as she hug the younger one so tightly, really acting like a baby. You see Chaeyeon stopped on their tracks, she's saying something to Eunbi. The leader let go of the hug after Chaeyeon talked then went to put her head down for you don't know what reason. Chaeyeon then chuckles, pats her girlfriend's head, and held her chin up to give her a long romantic kiss. Yes, these are the girls' dirty little secrets that only you are permitted to see.

You're done with your final rounds for tonight. It's technically not a "tonight" because it's already 2am but the girls are still alive and hyper. You're already sleepy but you still need to ensure the girls' safety and privacy so you still roamed around in this big resort for the last time. You didn't talk that much today but you're still satisfied seeing all the 12 members of the first ever group you have managed, IZ*ONE, really enjoying a lot. It's their first time since debut to be this carefree, relaxed, and not thinking of anything. Eunbi doesn't need to act like a leader today; it's your goal anyway, to help her relax, even tho you felt so uneasy seeing her boldly being intimate to Chaeyeon. You never wish to be Chaeyeon... until now.

Speaking of Eunbi, you can't see Eunbi beside Chaeyeon right now. You can't see Eunbi anywhere. But you're so sleepy already so you just assumed she's on the bathroom, whatever. You went to Chaeyeon to give your final instruction before you decide to surrender to fatigue.

"Chaeyeon, where's Kwon Eunbi?" "Ah manager-nim she went to bed already. She told us she's tired so we just let her." "I see. Can I entrust the girls to you? I'm already tired from today's activities." I said as I looked at their eyes one at a time. "Yes, manager-nim! You can trust us!" The girls excitedly said. You became nervous all of a sudden. "Lee Chaeyeon." The seriousness is found in your tone. You want the girl to assure you that everything will be fine. "They're just teasing you, unnie. But I'm serious I can handle this. Please rest now, unnie." Chaeyeon reassured you that everything will be fine. As you're about to leave the area, you realized you didn't know which room to go. You let them choose their own rooms, so you didn't know which one is the only one available, so you went back to ask Chaeyeon. "Chaeyeon, what's the only room left? I didn't ask a while ago." "Unnie, Room 809." Answered the dancer.

*their point of view*

"Oh! Chaeyeon unnie, that's you and Eunbi unnie's room tho, right?" Yujin is confused. She's pretty sure that's the parents' line’s room since their room is just beside her room and Minjoo. Chaeyeon did not reply. Instead she just gave a smirk while still finishing her signature drink. "W-wait, don't tell me... OMFG Lee Chaeyeon, did- did you do that on purpose??!" Yena covered her widely open mouth, she's not believing what her friend did just now. "WTF Chaeyeon??!" Sakura's eyes widened, also in shock. "Calm down your pussy guys. It's just one night!" Chaeyeon finally answered. "Unnie!!!" Yujin hit the dancer's shoulders. Chaeyon then went to look at them to explain her side. "It's so obvious manager-nim likes Eunbi from the very start. You're also aware of it, right? Besides, she really work hard for us. Without her, you can't even touch your Minjoo, just so you know." Pointing to Yujin. "What better gift can we give than this?" The couple group can't say a word. Chaeyeon is totally correct; you like Eunbi in a different way, you always stare at her in the backstage when changing the outfits, you look at her boobs when her clothes are fit during practice and during work outs, at the same time they know that without you, this real-life off cam couple will not be possible.

"If Eunbi doesn't like it, she can say no. Manager unnie is a gentlewoman after all." *end of convo*

!!!

You already arrived on the 8th floor; you're already half asleep. You're literally already doing your best to drag your tired body into that room. As soon so you reach your keys to the door, you are surprised because the door of your room is not locked. You suddenly become attentive. You open the door slowly. You closed it as soon as you enter the room. You roam your eyes into the room when you see something very unexpected. Blood is rushing into your face right now, your jaws totally dropped, you can't totally move your body from where you're standing right now. In front of you is a half-naked Eunbi. Yes, you can see her big bosoms in front of you. She also stared at you in shock. "Shit. Eu.. Eunbi I'm- I'm so s-sorry. I'm really sorry I- I didn't know y-you were here I-" You face backwards from her, closing your eyes. 'Think, bitch, think'. You let her finish changing her clothes before you decide to open your eyes. As soon as you open it, Eunbi is already in front of you. You quickly bow your head to apologize. You realized it’s a wrong move since the idol's obviously not wearing a bra; her hardened nipples are visible from her skirts. You gulped as you try to your best not to stare, finally looking at her eyes.

'Wait, her nipples are hard already?'

'She did not get mad nor shout at me?' 'Wait what is happening?'

'Wake up, she has a girlfriend!'

Those are all your thoughts before you find yourself drowning in her eyes.

"It's fine manager-nim, it was all an accident. Besides, you're always with us in quick dress rehearsals. We all kinda don't mind if you already see anything." Eunbi bowed her head in response.

"Still, I'm really sorry. I- I gotta go." You are about to face the door when you feel her nipple accidentally touching your arm as you turn away from her. In that moment, you know it already, you can't hold what you're feeling anymore.

"Fuck. I'm really sorry Eunbi."

You finally grab her mouth for a lustful kiss. You carry Eunbi to the bed without breaking the kiss. Seeing her kissing back, you deepen your kiss. You are now topping her. You hold both of her wrist using your right hand to put it above her head. Your other hand is going inside her shirt, finding it's way to her melon-like breast; your thumb rubbing her hard nipples. You heard her moan in your mouth as you're having a tongue battle inside her mouth, in which you totally dominate. You continue the kiss as you your hand is playfully massaging her breast; on her nipple, her underboob, causing her to moan one more time. You let go of her wrist as you place your other hand to her other breast, your lips starting to plant kisses on her ears, then to her neck. You know Eunbi is loving it, so you decide to remove her loose shirt. You stare at her thing in front of you; her two big, milky and soft-skinned, pink and hard nipples; totally a perfect breasts ready for you to devour. You noticed she's starting to getting shy because you're staring at her big bosoms for quite a long time. She was about to cross her arms on her chest to cover her breast when you hold both of her wrist to the sides. "Please don't. You're so fucking beautiful, Kwon Eunbi." You whispered in her ear causing her to shiver. Your mouth finally reach her left breast. Your lips starting to move circles around her hard pink nipples, while the other hand is playing the unoccupied one. You suck her breast as much as you can, like a baby needing for a milk. Eunbi arched her back a bit in the sudden sensation she's feeling in your actions. After a while, your mouth went to devour her other breast. You slowly move your fingers to her abs, tickling her. Your hand is pushing her body downward while playing your fingers in her abs, your lower body weight on her legs, all so she's can't move that much. Her neck suddenly arched, her moan now getting a bit louder because of your actions. Trailing your tongue in her abs, you cup her core. Shit it's so wet already, and it turned you on more. Your thumb teasingly going to her crotch, then to her thighs, then your thumb rolling and pressing teasefully in her undies just in front of the clit, like a dry humping, but with your fingers. She then voluntarily widen her legs; a message for you to not tease anymore. So you now swiftly remove her red lacy underwear. Her core smells so good ah shit. You waste no time to devour the meal in front of you, you lick her clit in a fast, round motion. Your one finger travelling her wet exterior, while your other hand pushing down her abdomen for her to minimize her movements. "Aaaahh unnie aaaah fuuck" Eunbi loudly moan, breathing so loudly when you deepen your mouth into her clit. You released a hard breath as your mouth is finding its way to her hole. "Aaaahhh fuuuucck" Eunbi sobbing a bit as she's unconsciously digging her nails into your arms. You are totally liking what you're hearing right now. Placing your thumb on her clit, you start to tongue fuck her now, your tongue going in and out of her hole. You place her legs on your shoulders so you can deepen your tongue inside her while still rubbing her clit. You place your other hand, the one that's keeping her from moving, in her nipple, playing it to add to the sensation. "I'll go inside now babbyy" You give Eunbi a warning that caused her to hitch. In one swift motion, you insert your two fingers inside her, and god she's still tight oh fucking god. You can feel her nails digging more on your arms, her head starting to move back and forth as you move your fingers up and down, in a circular motion, varying the power. You can feel she's coming close already so you finger her harder and faster until you found her g-spot. "Aaah unnie i-im c-coming uuggh" "Baby come for me please" you said as you're now fucking her hard, with your lips now savoring her clit. Juices are now starting to burst from her inside. You waste no juice as you lick all of it before you proceed back to her. "Eunbi you taste so heavenly shit." You kissed Eunbi so she can also taste herself. She hugged you because of her trembling weak knees. You caressed her hair while hugging her, telling her she did an amazing job. You stayed in that moment until you feel she's relaxed already. When you feel she's asleep already, you start to dress her; you don't want to leave a trace as much as possible. You placed a blanket on her body before you went out of the room.

*their point of view*

Moments later, Chaeyeon arrived in their room. Seeing her girlfriend sleeping peacefully, she quietly get inside their blanket and spoon her. Eunbi hummed a bit with the sudden action, but still did not move due to exhaustion. "I love you baby", Chaeyeon whispered in her ear. "Hmmm" Eunbi responded after a few seconds, causing the dancer to smirk. She placed her once hand inside her girlfriend's shirt, her fingers playing her abs. Eunbi groaned with the sudden invitation from her girlfriend. Chaeyeon's hand suddenly moving up to her nipple, causing her to moan a bit, Chaeyeon's lips softly planting kisses on Eunbi's shoulders. From there, Eunbi knew she will have her second round. She's tired, but she's fucking lucky.

#domreader izone eunbi

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kidknux · 6 years ago

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Do you have any headcanons for Blurrbee ship? It's a really rare pairing so it's always nice to hear about it :3

yes..... i love them so much

I wasn't sure if you meant tfa Blurrbee or tfrq Blurrbee also, so I put a copy of the ask on both blogs, and we'll make an answer there too for the tfrq version

god this got super long and rambly and stuff too tho so i’m gonna. put this under a readmore so u can bail when it gets too dumb. i’m very sorry anyone on mobile you’ll have to Deal

@captainofthestars and i talk about them so much w/ our tfa au or tfrq or just. in general, whenever. we love them, we started shipping them after tfa because they had such a fun dynamic? Basically right after Blurr’s first few appearances, whoops

Bee thanking Blurr when he’s still just the “mysterious racer” is super good... Bee does a name shout when Blurr gets pulled into the space bridge! And he immediately wants to prioritize They Have To Get Him Back, i’m JUST SAYING, so like we got super attached rly fast bc of their general back-and-forth and little things like that.

Bee during the series is sorta competitive outside of cute moments like that? Which we tend to write as just... he’s kind of like that when he’s not sure what to do w/ his feelings, Blurr is super fast and kind of cool and he kind of saved Bee before and Other Emotions so instead of dealing with how he feels abt that its time to Fight. Blurr (who quint writes more often) also likes Bee pretty fast but he’s not great with people and doesn’t really realize it until later when he actually stops to think about it, post-series (which is getting into au territory but that’s just the hill we’re gonna die on)

It’s after the show that they manage to find Blurr, and his time in the hospital is... a process. Bee runs into him here again and learning about the state he’s in and what happened to him is pretty upsetting, especially since he already has a lot of problems/guilt around Shockwave and what he did. Blurr is stuck in the hospital for a pretty long time, since they need to be careful unfolding him and replacing parts of his body as needed, and no one else is really there much so Bee starts visiting him pretty often.

At first Blurr can’t really talk, but he can make some noises, and they start figuring out how to talk that way in some basic codes. Blurr is bored and lonely between surgeries, and Bee is one of the people who gets permission to take him out around Cybertron sometimes when he’s stable but not being worked on. Or, y’know, just sneak him out without permission. It doesn’t really seem right to try and be rude, or start fights, so instead they just... talk, and hang out, and under everything it turns out they really do get along and really like each other?

And it’s while Blurr is in the hospital slowly being repaired that he has lots of time to think, and think and think because he’s bedridden without supervision and that’s about all he gets to do most of the time. So he stops to think about it, finally, and realizes that he might like Bumblebee- and of course, he’s been so nice to him. It could be entirely pity, of course, that would be unfortunate, but it could be that he likes him too- he should ask. I’m just. Gonna copypaste part of the discord convo on it

CaptainNessbot 09/19/2017Eventually, I want Blurr to bluntly ask if Bee likes him romanticallyAre they in a relationship now??kidotix 09/19/2017GoodProbably after a while of them going on dates trips and hanging out in generalBee is somehow still caught off guard, what?CaptainNessbot 09/19/2017Blurr's beeping kicks up a notch so he can say everything he's thinkingYou've been really nice to him for no apparent reason, so it's either pity about his current condition or romantic attraction, in which case it is reciprocated. And when two people have an equal amount of attraction they are in a relationship, right?kidotix 09/19/2017Bee will get progressively blue from blushing as his processor decodes it, it might take a little while longer than normal bc it's more complicated than most of what Blurr saysUh, w-well he definitely doesn't pity you, yeah it sucks but he was.. He was doing it 'cause you're a friend, more or lessNot that he's saying no! He does like you, just not like that at first and he doesn't want you to think he was expectin' something from you in exchange or anything- but if you really want to then yes! SureBee is flustered and this must look ridiculous to any potential onlookersCaptainNessbot 09/19/2017He's cutekidotix 09/19/2017Beyond one or two incidents of flirting at space ports, he's going in blindCaptainNessbot 09/19/2017Blurr makes a squeaky surprised noise, his spark starts beating fasterAh, well. Good!kidotix 09/19/2017Bee grins, yeah! Great!Um, but they should- it's probably way too soon for them to. YknowHe's never done this before, you don't have to bond right away right?? He's not sure he's ready for anything like thatBlurr: can we dateBee: yesBee: ...oh no does this mean we need to get marriedHe doesn't know how fast this is supposed to goCaptainNessbot 09/19/2017They can take it slow, ironically

And Then They Date and it’s fucking cute bc they’re dumb and in love. Blurr is maybe not totally ready to jump back to active intel duty on Cybertron, so he goes back to earth with Bee instead. Omega Supreme’s presence basically doubles the size of their base on earth, which is good because with the new members they’ve got- mainly Wreck-Gar, and now Blurr- they need the room. Especially since the one now-empty room is one that no one is super willing to clear out.

Blurr ends up being part of the “Bee Team” that Bee puts together eventually to try and relocate Wasp. Which involves a lot of dimension-hopping shenanigans. It’s the first big mission Blurr’s been on since recovery, too, which is fun. Wreck-Gar and the Dinobots come along too, which is important bc after they do find Wasp- and a lot of other troubles to eventually rehabilitate the poor guy- Blurr, Wasp, Wreck-Gar, and an oc end up as a b-team to the main earth autobots (along with a few other occasional members)

at this point it ends up in sorta nebulous The Adventure Continues areas, eventually they do end up sharing a room and stuff which i’ve written into one of the once-in-a blue-moon fics, I’ll jst drop some more scattered hcs that were located looking for the confession hc

CaptainNessbot 04/15/2018Sentinel hates working with Blurr in any capacitykidotix 04/15/2018Sentinel plsCaptainNessbot 04/15/2018Sentinel does not have the patience necessary to understand Blurrand Blurr hates repeating himself and also thinks Sentinel is kind of an idiot

CaptainNessbot 03/19/2018Has [overclocking] had effects on how he perceives time? YesDoes he care? NoIs it bad I can see a lotta racers disliking himCompared to what I'd expect the usual charismatic, showboating race star to be (like IDW Blurr), he's kind of....Snippy, awkward, and distant?

um also idk how to wrap this up so. they’re one of several ships that i have a playlist for. i’m always kinda tweaking it tho since it’s jst smthn i keep around for me and friends yknow

thanks for coming to my ted talk

#this is silly sorry #Anonymous #asks

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akria23 · 6 years ago

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Them messing up my convo got me o'd pressed.

I already explained how I see the game in relation to Bay and Tyler so this conversation was gonna be my chance to see them officially consciously battle it out. Because that's what it is - a whole bunch of lies with a dash of truth smothered in sugary sweetness.

This was the time I got to see how they would handle one another. How they served in one another's presence. And it it was so fucking good - I was being treated atleast. Opened with "oh it's been so long" as if ha ass ain't been giving that man dry air for a week and a half now lol. Bay is so fucking adaptable yo and she serves the slickest, smoothest most subtle check ems I've ever seen! When she hit him with that 'anger black woman' moment they both know he dashed her with I was like 😯😎👌🏾.

I'm telling y'all - Tyler ain't ready for ha! Fandom talk his game up like he's a great player and it's like - nah, he would've been a great player if Bay had been his ride or die but he fucked that up on rip. All his flaws she would have been able to mesh into and fix. He's way more laid back than Swaggy, but his need to have his hand in every cookie jar fucks him up every time. He lies, but he lacks her adaptability. He has a nice social game but he doesn't know how to shore up relationships. He would not be able to spin them tales around her def not now.

Tyler and Bay are two HG that have a lot of history between them, a lot of history they don't speak on cause their current positions mean lie, lie and lie again. But I'm realizing now that Tyler while Tyler fucked up the bonding they were starting to create in the beginning it was always a relationship he planned to make his way back around to. This is the moment Tyler's been waiting for since he pushed Swaggy ass out the door. Like I said before he's been dropping convo starters and inserting himself into her conversations and she just refused to pick that shit up. So when she drops that she's ready to have a conversation with him, he's ecstatic, he tells this info to JC repeatedly cause he wanted the convo the same day.

The problem is he's not actually ready for this convo - Bay is not Kaitlyn, she is not Sam. There's bad blood here and distrust - to gain anything here he would have to jump feet first and start giving up some truth. She tests him in this convo a few times but one of the most noticeable is when she says "I just really want for the votes to all go one way for once..." and he clams up and stays silent. Red light! That was a fuck up. She knows they're voting to keep Brett 😒and he can't even give her that.

He's trying to pull her in because he knows he'll gain gain gain. He doesn't want Bay to go home. He's had her name dropped to him so many times this week and yet he's not only kept silent on it, but actively didn't mention her name just because and focused more blame on Kaitlyn. He allows people in his group to speak positively on her name with the possibility of bringing her in - even though that's not his plan. He does something important in this little convo as well, he mentions himself in relationship to Kaycee, his supposed F2 - someone he knows Bay trust someone he thinks people see as an outsider as well. I'd guess he plans on pitching a 3way alliance.

I'm pissed at the DR for ruining this convo. This is the ONE important conversation for him. Despite all his other shit teaming with Bay would be a tremendous help to his game. He might be playing the middle but no one is ever gonna admit to him how they feel about him. Bay on the other hand, she's on a side. She's smart, adaptable, social to the point when people give info she feeds it there's backlash and the people in it don't hate her even though she's the leak, and she has a power. Tyler has surmised all of this. He watches people and like I said Bay has been on his radar since their blow up.

But if he doesn't come better than what he was serving up today...he might as well not come at all.

#bbus #bb20 #bayleigh dayton #bay #tyler

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kfedup · 7 years ago

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Saturday was nearly perfect. Did a bit of writing in the morning and then a half hour workout in my living room before I ventured out to the bank for cash and to the farmers market. I picked up 2 dozen eggs, a whole chicken, andouille sausage for gumbo, a pack of wings, mixed greens, kale, a huge head of escarole, celery, Napa cabbage, arugula, and a bag of Carter’s Nicaragua coffee beans.

I had a great convo with a few people about the article I’m working on for the market newsletter and possibly the local paper about my friend Jeff’s restaurant Erie Street Kitchen. Jeff shared with me when I was in for dinner Friday night with a date that he spent $14K with market and other local producers for ingredients last year. He’s working with more than a dozen people every week. Nobody else in Kent is doing that yet, and people need to hear about it.

I hadn’t visited the market in a few weeks, so it was wonderful to catch up with everyone. The manager was grabbing testimonial videos on the market iPad out front in the sunshine - asking what people love about the market. I babbled on for a few minutes about how for me the market is all about conviviality. It’s a place to gather around one of our most important daily activities - eating - where we can get to know the producers and ask about processes, see our neighbors, spend our money within our community, and fill ourselves with that special kind of sunshine that emanates from everyone. It’s my church. And it feels so good to be past the deep sorrow I felt for so long after leaving the manager position and to be able to enjoy being there without feeling like I am missing out on something important by not being in charge anymore. Without feeling like I failed.

I gave many hugs and packed my stuffed bags into the cargo bin and made my way over to Towner’s Woods to meet a friend for a hike. We walked about 3.5 miles without seeing very many people. Lots of snow on north facing slopes and big mud patches wherever the trail tilted southward. The ice is off the lake, which felt remarkable seeing as three weeks ago I stood next to it and listened to the thick ice crack and thunder and roll, echoing in the low basin. It melted quickly considering how cold it’s still been aside from our one 55 degree day last Sunday. The many small vernal pools we passed still had thin skins of shimmering ice. Someone told me they heard peepers in there last Sunday.

We were hungry after the hike so drove into town and had lunch at Taco Tonto’s, then made a quick visit to the new vinyl record store around the corner. My friend commented that just like in a comic book store, it was full of dudes and they all looked at me funny for being a female in the wrong habitat or something? I laughed and loudly asked if he would keep his eye out for a Juice Newton album, which he promptly found and brandished in the air. I didn’t really want it, though.

At home I caught up via FaceTime with my friend Lee who is in Jerusalem. We talked about longing and desire and habits. About loving our independent lifestyles but missing intimacy and about how good it feels to be developing even more solid self-care rituals that are becoming habits.

After that I had a phone call with JD - a newish friend via Ami with whom things are suddenly sparking in a very natural, lovely way. He lives in Asheville, NC but comes up to Ohio an hour away in Medina for 10 days at a time every month for the job he took in the fall. He’s relocating here permanently by midsummer, looking for a large piece of land where he wants to build small houses and start a sort of intentional community. He’s a mining engineer, owns a very popular Meadery where he makes super dry delicious mead. Like, shockingly good. I don’t like mead. I love his mead. He’s also an old-timey musician and likes to do traditional dancing. Very smart and interesting man. Hmm.

My Friday night date was a first date with the last person I interacted with online before deleting my profiles a month or so ago. Took us a while to find time to get together, but I’m glad we did. Very sweet and kind and funny man. Lives an hour away (don’t they all?!) but I’m open to seeing him again. He was sweet to drive to Kent - we met at my house and walked downtown for dinner. It was a clear, chilly night and the walk home with full bellies was lovely. I felt bad about his hour drive back, but so it goes.

It’s funny I didn’t even intend to be dating anymore, but these two fell into place and I’m intent on going with the flow. I’m doing such a good job of not projecting or putting expectations on anything man related right now. That feels good.

But, so then the day yesterday got weird. While I was on the phone with JD, my head started to hurt and my eyes felt full of fire. My cheeks turned beet red, almost like a niacin flush, but then the heat crept all over. I had a fever and couldn’t keep my eyes open. Slept for a few hours, woke and still felt crappy. Ate a little something and watched Sneaky Pete until midnight. Slept and the fever broke around 4am. Back to sleep until 7. Feel fine now, thank goodness. No idea what the heck that was, but so glad it’s gone.

I have a pile of work I need to do today to get ready for missing two days so I can go to Ami’s dad’s funeral in Toledo Tuesday and Wednesday. Plus, I still need to get my tax info together to drop off at the accountant this week, and do a bit of cooking, cleaning, and laundry. But it’s a stunning clear day - only 20 degrees at the moment, but going up to 42 again. I’m going to get myself dressed and head over to Hiram Field Station to do the five mile loop through the forest. The stream will be running. I need to hear that small water sluicing sound. Then I gotta get some shit accomplished. Crap. How is it 9:00 already?

Happy Sunday, babies.

#be kind #especially to yourself #sunday #seven thousand

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survivorreelsmagicwithin · 4 years ago

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Episode 2 - “Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk” - Joshua (through Autumn)

I hate flag-making challenges. I will not be helpful at all, and I hope that someone else can take the reigns and lead us to victory. I honestly feel safe going into a tribal council, but I do not want to test that theory.

Next morning

With Chips and Jules working on the crest designs, I feel confident that we will do well in the challenge. Maybe not the best, but definitely not the worst. I still have the same anxious feeling that my tribe is not active enough for my taste, but I will just have to live with it for now. Besides, at least this is not immunity because that we increase my anxiety by so much. But, I keep forgetting to search the idol hunt which is my bad, but it is just so hard and long that I do not really feel like searching all the time lol

ART CHALLENGE <333 i love these challenges. Jess made my picture 110% better and its super cute. The note that she wrote with it is also hella cute and I love the whole HP aesthetics bc i never got to go to real hogwarts ;-; but i'm sure most of yall can related. The boys weren't too helpful but nick was better than jacob who is sick. Nick was way more active aka jacob said 3 sentences the entire challenge sooooo…. if we lose idk I might just save jacob anyways bc pregame relations.

Won reward, but now we have to win immunity again. I really hope that this reward helps us continue to survive. I don't want to have to vote anyone out. We've been getting first, but I really just want to survive this challenge, its known to be hard.

I think I have been stuck with the second most challenge inept tribe in the history of my ORG career. I literally said so many answers in my version of the story and Jules just fucked it up. And then they got the girl's name wrong. And then they started mixing up characters. I know I did well, but fuck these people. God. Now we need a tribe to get 0 which is very unlikely. I will just resign myself to tribal. I hope and pray that these people have some common sense and do not want to vote me out

Listen. Listen. Listen. I dang knew this story was going to be Harry Potter based. I knew in my brain and in my heart that I shouldn’t have been the one to start that thing. What do I do? Start the dang thing. Oh well. We did alright. I would be shocked if we won tho but if we don’t I’ll be relieved. I def don’t feel confident enough but I really had a lot of fun with my tribe. I really miss this and really hope that my time isn’t cut short! I feel really good about my tribe mates sincerely. And that’s kind of scary! I would hate to see any of us to go and how it’s going to affect the bond we have if we vote someone out. In this moment with Max sitting out, it may be him who goes if we go to tribal. I hope that isn’t the case. I’ve got my fingers crossed for us. Huff Puff strong!

Honestly Jules dropped the ball sis!! But it’s okay, I love her. She’s really nice and I know she tried her best. Plus she’s in an alliance with me and Owen, so we should have the numbers against Joanna or Miguel if we go to tribal. Personally, I’d prefer Joanna to go. She’s kinda domineering, but she’s also an asset in challenges thus far. She is organized and direct. I’ve also talked to her a bit more than Miguel, so I guess I don’t really care who goes.

I’m happy I didn’t fuck up the reward comp and the shit that I drew got us a win!

I really hope I don't bomb that challenge, I answered everything that Kevin talked to me about.... I think! The rest of them tried very hard but I am SOOO glad that I asked to do my part at the end because my memory of repeating things is horrendous but I'm usually pretty good at bullshitting test answers... too bad I got some of the multiple choice stuff wrong.

I think that if we do lose I am still in a good spot on this tribe and hopefully I won't be in danger. I feel like I'm on everyone's good side and Max kind of just disappeared so maybe we could just vote him out this round? Idk.

Hopefully we don't have to worry about it. I smell a swap coming up pretty soon and I just hope I'm either with Owen or with some of the people from my tribe. I have no idea if they know anyone or are close with anyone in the other houses.

I'm still feeling the closest to Lily and Kevin but I have been talking to Landen a good bit too these days so hopefully we'll be safe or we can all just agree on Max.

16 minutes later

OOOOOH IS LANDEN PAVING THE WAY FOR A MOVE TO SEND MAX PACKING???

He just told me that me, lily and kevin are precious angels that must be protected and that he likes Max when he's around too so that sounds like something... HMMM...

I can't get cocky, I always go home when I get cocky. But I like this.

my host chat saw this first (shout-out to Drewie and Dennis): Y’all I’m an idiot. I thought I only knew 2 people in this game (Owen and chips). Then I remembered I also know Jess, Autumn, and dan. Literally love and respect each of you my brain just don’t got the strongest memory no more. I’m so sorry!!!! I literally just told landen I only know 2 ppl. I’m just gonna try to not remember it happened.

Ugh.....I need to get it together.

I love my tribe talking to each other now that we have to!! Everyday I'm like damn either I'm on the bottom or I'm not the only one with piss poor social game. Ok so... the moment the hosts said we got 1 point, I started getting ready for tribal lmaaaooo. No sense crying over it either because all the tribes basically just had to show up in order to beat that

Like how could we not go to tribal with a score of ONE? That shit's embarrassing hahaha. That's like when your teacher passes the test back to everyone sitting around you but not you so you KNOW it's bad. But you know what? It's all good cause I'd rather us take the L now and get it out the way and we can all laugh about it cause losing won't be funny after long. The real question is: will Gryffindor do this the easy way or the hard way caaauusse we all know who the weakest link is. I just wanna see if someone puts two and two together without my prodding. Chips already said we voting together right and I'm like yes sir. There's no better place than being on the same page

WE WON OMG!! Jules basically gave me nothing, which is fine, i understand, but i'm so impressed that we pulled that off. Absolutely killing these reward challenges really helps!

"Y'all. Vote me out fr cause I'm inactive as fronk."

Tonight we learned Joshua is a feminist selfless man that I stan because he's volunteering to go home without me having to put his name out, which I was going to do. Like imagine if every guy had that kind of self-awareness, to recognize why he should be the vote and then embrace it instead of wreaking havoc. And wanting to see others succeed more than yourself? King shit! He knew when to hang it up and did just that. Like the number of times I've seen a vote get complicated for no fucking reason because everyone wants a fight to the death. Enough- I'm old, tired, and cannot exert too much energy at once. We got a long game ahead of us, not to mention quarantine. So from the bottom of my heart, thank you Joshua. We need more players like you and I appreciate your service

im back back BACK AGAIN with another confessional! not much has changed but a few updates for the sake of these being required :) 1. max has become even more inactive, he's not reached out to me personally since the first day and any time i messaged him after that he's sent me nothing back that i can build a convo off of, so we just have stopped speaking. Luckily this challenge only required four people and everyone else SHOWED UP!! or at least spoke about their availability, while he did not. However in his defense he said he was having some issues at home and i feel for him but his inability to connect has been an issue before he spoke about anything in our tribe chat with us. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but this point my relationships with the other 3 are leaps and bounds ahead of where I am at with Max. Maybe he can pick up some speed if we continue winning challenges but, it's not looking too hot. SPEAKING OF CHALLENGES, well first we lost reward AGAIN, but we won immunity.. AGAIN! thank goodness for not being first or second boot, i always love being able to avoid these early tribals and if i can get to a swap without seeing one that would be ideal, but also if we do go and maybe vote out max? wouldn't be the worst thing. Moral of the story we won and thats exciting! however.. if we didn't.. the first big push of strategic talk came up with landen when he hinted at being frustrated with max's lack of presence which I also share. I do believe if we lost me and landen could have most definitely picked up ruthie and lily to form a four against him, if he even came to tribal. That would be my ideal situation and if we continue on this tribes hopefully it gives me a nice cushion to fall on if we do lose so i dont have to entirely blow up my social game within the first few rounds by voting out someone i've built a connection with. If max can go and the remaining four hufflepuffs can make a swap I would feel good about that, and maybe in the right circumstances we could work together on the swapped tribes because i genuinely like all of these people (yes max too but in this specific scenario he wouldn't be included bc... well..) anyways to close this off i still absolutely ADORE lily, she is fun and our conversations are really good, and same goes for ruthie, hopefully i dont have to see either of them or myself go home before we can really start playing because i think we could do some damage. :) ok anyways this was longer than i thought it would be goodbye

I'm still not over the fact that I was able to answer 7 of those questions right. I have the memory of a plastic fork. I also love that we are SAFE!

I do kind of hope things get spicy and we swap this round and become two tribes of 9. That'd be cute. I don't want VI to get bored and crack on me. BUT ALSO I think I have solid enough relationships with almost everyone on this tribe... so who knows?!

Also... these hoes really out here trying to search for an idol in PUBLIC. IN PUBLIC. WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?

Dear diary, seems like we keep winning challenges, which is great but tbh i feel like every time i give a disadvantage to my team because english is not my first Language, and so far its been a vocabulary test and a listening and speaking test. I mean I knew I signed up for school but damn. Give me some macarena or drinking tequila challenge and I'll crush it

bippity boppity boo im back again with almost no content kdfasjhdskjfh

Ravenclaw working smarter and we keep winning, period!!! Thankful that y'all put Dan and I together....bc truly we will be unstoppable in these competitions. I kind of want to lose soon though to see how things would shake out, but I don't really have bad blood with anyone. Joanna seems passionate enough in the tribe chat and the challenges, even if she's dry in PMs. Miguel still won't give me anything other than a "how are you," but I hope the best for him in life lol

Still love Jules and Dan, and we made a three person alliance, but I haven't talked with either of them much one on one since it happened.... I really need to step the social game up eventually, but right now, I'm coasting, and maybe that's what I need before I find the time and resources in this game to strike!!

The idol hunt is hard but Dan seems onto something. Honestly he's gonna be a big threat sooner or later so he's sticking around as long as I can keep him! The last two games I've been in I've seen "goats" get dragged to the end and locked in final 3 positions, and then these perceived goats have ended up winning. so I want the big players in this game to rise to the top and fight it out in the end!

let’s say i am como we dice.. fed up with a lot :flushed: a lot meaning joshua starting to get on my nerves a bit! he’s genuinely sweet n all but.. the way he complained about us losing by putting down others work HHH pissed me off. which is why i will be voting him out hehe.. but so far my misting has worked because no one wants to vote me out! mwah

Slytherin killed the memory challenge. We thought we were all gonna flop bc all of us thought we sucked at memory stuff. um well we knocked it out of the park? Ravenclaw got 4 and huff/gryff got 1. We got 7 so oops. I do hope things turn out well for Gryffindor but no one I really know/care about is in that house so I'm not too worried. I hope they continue to lose or even hufflepuff since ravenclaw has 2 of my friends in it.

I have been TERRIBLE with confessionals but only because there's really not been much going on? I have an alliance with Dan and Owen, and even though I wrote off Joanna I was DEFINITELY wrong in doing that. Miguel is sort of the outlier. Our team is kinda iconic though? We've done so well on all the challenges. I might be the weakest link? More to come.

it's pretty sad but the whole tribe has agreed to vote max if we lose, basically he's just never around because of what's going on at home and like thats sad but... we gotta do what we gotta do *shrug*. I'm really feeling good about Hufflepuff moving forward, i've never bonded this much this easily with EVERYONE on a tribe and i just feel like if we keep winning or even if we lose and have to vote out max, we could be a great group for the future. especially i feel great about working with kevin, we dominated eve's game after eve came between us in 2020 that dastardly witch... :P (juuust kiddin. love ya!) but now we could totally do well in this game too i think.....

lily and ruthie are just so sweet and we really bond talking about pretty much anything,, especially lily is a great conversationalist and i just find it so natural to talk to them both. i'd love to work with any combination of people from hufflepuff in the future, hopefully i start sucking a little less at all these challenges. i think i did pretty great on memory :D

So here is the summary of what has happened since last time

We had a reward challenge that was drawing. Mine sucked. Apparently 3/4 so no reward.

We played Telephone. My team didnt realize that details are the most important parts of that and didnt share then with Autumn so Autumn didnt share them with me. Then I didnt know them when asked about them.

We scored 1 point and lost. Since I still have no alliance I'm scared that it could be me. So I kind of got an idea how everyone was feeling.

Juls let me know she wanted to vote Joshua and- it's not me so that's fine!

Then I was talking to Autumn about it and - OOP! Josh asked to be voted out. So unless he plays an idol I'm supposing he is leaving after asking to go.

woo my tribe won immunity!! we are safe! i’m glad bc i’m forming good relationships with ppl on my tribe. i think we all get along rly well so i hope we keep winning. the challenge was fun and i slayed bc i’m skinny mwah

Ya know what’s refreshing? Being on a tribe that actually wins!!! The last three games I’ve played I’ve been on flop ass starting tribes.

Now we’ll lose every challenge

10 minutes later

This sickening bitch just found a hidden immunity idol!!!! Good until f6 L A D I E S!!!!!!

HI BARBS SO I WAS GROUNDED SO I MISSED THE CHALLENGE BUT MY HUFFLEPUFF BABS SLAYED SM SO IM LIVING

CONFESSIONAL 2.1 —

Not much strategy has happened this episode, just simply tribal bonding! We are SlytherWINNING, getting reward and immunity this time! How wonderful.

Regarding my tribe mates, I love all three. I pray, pray, pray we make swap, i do Noh want to be a dirty bad guy and have to vote one out.. yet. Haha.

I was drunk during immunity, one full glass of rum & coke, so I am shocked that we won immunity. Honestly, I feel silly admitting I was drunk to my tribe because... if I can do that when drunk, imagine if I was sober. Competition Beast, duh.

I also gave up my run this round for the tribe to use. Was partially social, partially I just do not understand how to do the Hunt, so I might as well help the greater good. Either way, it comes off positively.

Hoping for a smooth journey for a little longer!

x nick

Joshue has basically quit at this point so I have no fear going into tribal

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thelocalshooter · 4 years ago

Text

The Local Shooter Vs. KORRUPT

(LS ) Hello thank you guys for allowing me to interview your group! If you guys can all introduce yourselves and where you guys are from?

(K) WERE KORRUPT WE HAVE 10 MEMBERS IN OUR COLLECTIVE:

NOHOESSTEPH - GLENDALE, ARIZONA

CRISTIAN PEREZ - GLENDALE, ARIZONA

PANCHOR3VENGE- PHOENIX, ARIZONA

GAMDEVII - CHICAGO, ILLINOIS

RUDEBOYURL - HOUSTON, TEXAS

VRO4K - DOWNEY, CALIFORNIA

VINTAJ- BETHESDA, MARYLAND

SCAM - DETROIT, MICHIGAN

WHOKILLEDROI - PHOENIX, ARIZONA

ZEUS - GLENDALE, ARIZONA

(LS) How did korrupt come about? And how long have you guys been a collective?

(K) THE IDEA OF KORRUPT CAME ABOUT LATE NOVEMBER EARLY DECEMBER. HOWEVER THE BEGINNING OF FEBRUARY WAS WHEN EVERYONE CAME TOGETHER AND THE NAME WAS INITIALLY FOR A CLOTHING BRAND THAT NOHOESSTEPH HAD BEEN PLANNING, BUT SCRAPPED IT. WHEN THE NAME WAS BEING THROWN AROUND IN THE STUDIO AND WHEN VRO WENT IN FOR HIS VERSE ON THE FIRST TRACK OF THE ALBUM HE SAID “WE KORRUPT” WE ALL KNEW RIGHT THEN THAT WAS THE NAME.

(LS) Does korrupt come with it's own sounds or do you guys think you're individual sound is what makes you guys great as a collective?

(K) KORRUPT HAS BEEN A COLLECTIVE FOR ABOUT A YEAR NOW. KORRUPT SO FAR HAS TACKLED THE RAGE RAP SOUND FOR OUR FIRST SELF TITLE PROJECT “KORRUPT VOL. 1” HOWEVER WE ALL ARE VERY DIVERSE IN TERMS OF SOUND. MOVING FORWARD THERE WILL BE NO CATEGORIES AND NO LABLES. IF WE FEEL LIKE WE CAN MAKE IT THEN WE WILL. WE WANNA BE ABLE TO MAKE ALL TYPES OF SOUND.

(LS) What's the next move for you guys as far as visuals or shows? Is there anything special planned now that the pandemic is slowing down?

(K) THE MOVE FOR NOW IS TO DROP AND PROMOTE ALOT OF OUR SINGLES THAT WE HAVE READY TO GO. WE ALSO WANNA GET SOME VIDEOS DONE FOR THE FIRST PROJECT BECAUSE THE PANDEMIC SLOWED THAT DOWN. WE ALSO PLAN ON GETTING SOME SHOWS GOING SOON AND COLLABORATING WITH LOCAL ARTISTS.

(LS) Do you guys think there's any other group or artists you guys would collaborate with in the city or outside the city?

(K) WE ARENT REALLY LOOKING TO COLLABORATE WITH BIG ARTISTS BUT WE WONT PASS UP THE OPPORTUNITY IF IT COMES. WE ARE INTERESTED IN WORKING WITH LSG. THEY ARE A LOCAL COLLECTIVE OUT HERE IN AZ AND WE FUCK WITH THEIR STYLE AND MUSIC.

(LS) Have you guys thought of making a collective tape? Like on some cozy boy vibes?

(K) AS OF RN A BIG COLLECTIVE TAPE IS NOT IN THE WORKS. WERE SAVING “KORRUPT VOL.2” FOR THE RIGHT TIME. WE ARE JUST FOCUSED MORE ON SINGLES, MIXTAPES AND DUO EPS. WE WANNA TEST WATERS WE HAVENT SWAM IN YET.

(LS) As far as the arizona music scene do you guys think you guys get the recognition yall deserve for being such an underground group you guys don't get mentioned in the lil Prado convos or the freddie kev convo why's that ?

(K) WE BELIEVE WE DESERVE ALL THE RECOGNITION WE ARE GETTING AS OF RIGHT NOW AND WE DESERVE MORE. WE BELIEVE WE ARE ENTITLED TO THAT. WE ALSO BELIEVE WE NEED TO EARN OUR RECOGNITION AND RESPECT. WE ARE STILL VERY NEW AND ARE LEARNING ALOT ABOUT OURSELVES AS A COLLECTIVE AND WE ARE GROWING ALONG SIDE THE ATTENTION WE ARE RECEIVING. PRADA AND FREDDIE ARE VERY TALENTED ARTISTS AND EARN EVERY PIECE OF RECOGNITION THAT THEY GET. WE TIP OUR HATS TO THEM. THEY WORK HARD. MOST IMPORTANTLY THEY PUT ON FOR THE CITY AND WE WOULD LOVE TO BE A PIONEER FOR THE AZ SOUND AS WELL.

(LS) How can an artist join korrupt if they'd like to? Or is the team set in stone?

(K) AS FAR AS NOW KORRUPT IS NOT ACTIVELY SEEKING MEMBERS. KORRUPT IS ALOT OF THINGS. A BRAND, A COLLECTIVE BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY ITS A BROTHERHOOD. WE ARE ALL LINKED IN SOMEWAY. WE ALL KNOWN EACHOTHER FOR A WHILE. THRU DIFFERENT SCHOOLS AND DIFFERENT MEMBERS IN THE GROUP. WE ALL HAVE LOVE FOR EACHOTHER AND WE BELIEVE THATS WHAT MAKES US SPECIAL. HOWEVER KORRUPT ALSO DOESNT JUST HAVE RAPPERS. WE HAVE FRIENDS THAT BEAR OUR NAME AS WELL. AS FAR AS THE MUSIC ITS PRETTY SOLIDIFIED FOR NOW. BUT FOR OUR MAIN SUPPORTERS, OUR FANS AND ASSOCIATES LIKE: ENGINEERS,PHOTOGRAPHERS , VIDEOGRAPHERS ETC. THEY ALL HAVE THAT BRAND TO THEM AS WELL. IF THEY BELIEVE THEY ARE KORRUPT THEN THEY ARE. ITS AN IDEA. ITS A WAY OF LIFE.

(LS) Can we expect anything new coming from you guys very soon or do we just got to keep our eyes peeled?

(K) LOTS AND LOTS OF SINGLES ARE ON THE WAY. WE HAVE BEEN WORKING NONSTOP. “VRO$TEPH” IS ON THE WAY! A COLLABORATION EP BETWEEN OUR TWO MEMBERS VRO4K AND NOHOES$TEPH. WE ARE VERY EXCITED TO GET THE BALL ROLLING. ONCE THE MOST RECENT DROP HAPPENS WE PLAN ON ONLY TURNING IT UP FROM THERE!

(LS) Where do you guys see yourself in the future? Are you guys looking to sign a deal, stay independent maybe even start your own label some day?

Thank you for allowing me to interview you guys as a collective is there anything else you guys would like to mention? Shout outs? Music links? Social Media?

Please drop below and until next time ...

(K) AS FAR AS SIGNING ANY DEALS WE DONT THINK SO. WE WANNA STAY INDEPENDENT FOR NOW. A LABEL IS DEFINITELY THE GOAL IN THE FUTURE BUT FOR NOW WERE STAYING INDEPENDENT. THERES 10 OF US SO A LABEL WOULD NEED TO THROW A LARGE SUM AT US TO GET US SIGNING ANYTHING.

Twitter: https://twitter.com/wekorrupt?s=21

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/kkorruppt?igshid=ql7wb59wcw40

Soundcloud:

https://soundcloud.com/kkorruppt?ref=clipboard&p=i&c=0

Apple:

https://music.apple.com/us/artist/korrupt/1518702195

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/artist/0jgC6QRqAUyyG3VtxhmRGi?si=gaOXhdgDR-uoV0Ij-nPwZg

The Local Shooter Vs. KORRUPT

#Spotify

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