#i was nearly crying all the time
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the seeds 🛐
#posting for the 5 active fans in 2024 out there <3#i promised myself i wouldn't spend too much time on these sooo don't look too closely lol#far cry 5#fc5#jacob seed#faith seed#john seed#joseph seed#made the cursed observation that all the brothers are rocking nearly identical facial hair#EDIT: thank you sm for the nice tags on this i didn't expect so many people to rb and reading through ur comments has made my day 😭🫶
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sometimes family is a regular man, his surprisingly smart (and capricious) cat, his phoenix husband, the antichrist, an amorphous slime boy, a nature sprite, a gnome, a wyvern, a shapeshifter, a yeti, a much older and more powerful nature sprite, and her girlfriend the mayor
#void keith talks#gods i love The House In The Cerulean Sea and Somewhere Beyond The Sea so fucking much. they're my new favorite books#they nearly brought me to tears like. eight times. which is definitely saying something cuz i almost never actually cry at media i consume#they're good. they're SO good. honest!!!#wasn't quite sure why the first one resonated with me so much until i opened Somewhere Beyond The Sea and the dedication was-#“this is for the trans community” and i was like OH. so THAT'S why i liked the first book so much#also i just fucking love all of TJ Klune's books that i've read so far#his writing style? FANTASTIC. even in the different genres he's written. he just has such an excellent writing voice#the house in the cerulean sea book#somewhere beyond the sea book#the house in the cerulean sea#somewhere beyond the sea#the house in the cerulean sea book tj klune#somewhere beyond the sea tj klune#at my heart i am a book nerd so obviously i have to post about it sometimes#cerulean chronicles#linus baker#arthur parnassus#and the baker-parnassus children (and the powerful sapphic women are also part of the baker-parnassus family)#AND CALLIOPE! i can't believe i forgot calliope the cat. please forgive me#bookblr#tj klune books
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what's the threshold theory
There was a post about how Tom is the only crew member who isn't really affected by the Borg, and there's a theory that he has so much luck because he saw the past and the future when he crossed the transwarp threshold. He saw the past and the future, all of time and space. There's some subconscious part of him that remembers that experience. In fact, Tom refused to play a part in Chakotay indulging Annorax's temporal incursions, probably because a part of him knew nothing good could come of it.
If we extend that same theory to Janeway, some of her wild luck with time travel and other crack plans starts to make sense. She doesn't verbally hate time travel until after the events of Threshold, since it happens in Time and Again without complaint. Janeway has an uncanny knack for time travel, as evidenced every time she deals with it. She hates time travel, but it might be because part of her knows exactly how to manipulate the timeline. She manages to avoid the "inevitable" temporal explosion in Future's End, saving both Voyager and Braxton. She resets the entire timeline in Year of Hell, and no one else followed her reasoning. She pulled it off flawlessly. In Relativity, she senses the incidents are all related, despite it being just one reading that connects them. By the time she's involved, she has a temporal incursion factor of .0036 and a time travel protocol named after her, even if that may just be Braxton's personal grudge. Then there's Endgame, where she intentionally changes the timeline. Up until this point, she has been dragged into time travel, but for the first time, she jumps in on purpose. How does Admiral Janeway know how to get them home sooner in a way that completely avoids the Temporal Integrity Commission? It's because she has seen all of time, and part of her knows exactly what needs to happen so she can get Voyager home and do it in a way that becomes baked into the prime timeline. Maybe she doesn't consciously remember what happened during her transformation, but the experience lives in her mind somewhere, guiding her decisions.
#every day is threshold day#tldr threshold cemented the time travel shenanigans#we're not counting her disparagement of time travel in relativity i know it's technically before threshold#but they've messed with the timeline so much that her past timeline is also changed.#Time travel is funny because the past is the future the future is the past#so while relativity comes before threshold in the prime timeline her timeline has also been changed in a way that it wasn't before threshol#we could chalk it up to a writing oversight but this is more interesting#not to mention her uncanny luck with the Borg which I think ties in as well#it's part of why her instinct is so strong#also the bio neural gel packs but that's a different theory#listen she's amazing with or without having seen all of time and space but she has seen all of time and that must have affected her somehow#those little salamander babies also have all of the cosmos in their mind#tried to explain as concisely as possible but it is part of my overarching theory#she doesn't second guess herself nearly as much following their jaunt into transwarp#I have more but I'm trying to be brief cause it's written up partially in my drafts somewhere and i have some things i need to do today lol#meta#Star Trek voyager#Kathryn janeway#threshold day#did you expect me thresholdbb to not have a serious threshold theory?#listen I can make anything nonsense and turn anything into a serious theory I was known for this kinda bs in grad school#I wrote a 25 page paper on NOTHING once#I wrote a paper about how corn fields were super gay and it made my professor cry I can spin the bullshit it is one of my skills
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“hold on to your heart” // do me a favour live at forest hills stadium new york 08/09/23 ♡
#i miss the car era alex so badly 🥺#god help me i’ve been comfort watching 2023 shows to comfort myself today bc i’m stuck in bed with the worst period pain#but all it’s done is made me nearly cry over that video of alex with the little toy car and miss them all so much my heart aches 😭😭#i wish i had a time machine so i could go back and relive my show all over again#they’re just… absolute magic 💗💗💗#also#can we please talk about alex’s fluffy little lion mane of hair during the car tour??#i know it gets a lot of love but imo still not nearly as much as it deserves#i mean#just look at him?? 🥺#okay i need to stop now before i reduce myself to tears again#i’m too emotionally fragile for this today 😩#alex turner#arctic monkeys#the car era#alex gifs#my gifs#lulu posts
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I adored the scene between Orym and the Wildmother. I thought it was beautiful. they cannot make me hate either of them. but of course I must take it upon myself to address some responses to it that I’ve seen floating about, especially bc the way some people talk about emotions makes me concerned:
1) an appeal to emotion is not inherently manipulative. it’s a normal part of communication, and treating it as “playing dirty” will negatively affect yourself and your relationships with others. trust me. you are allowed to express your feelings, and other people are allowed to take your feelings into account and adjust their behavior. it’s actually a good thing! that’s healthy communication!
2) “see you soon” is not a death wish, nor is it a firm belief that he will die in the upcoming battle. it’s an acknowledgement that on the grand, cosmic scale of time, their separation is only for a short while. I suppose it would depend on the belief in an afterlife of the people around you, but have you never heard this sentiment expressed? not once?
#I’m not sure if people making the death wish assumption are c1 watchers#but orym’s “see you soon” feels like something of a similar sentiment to keyleth’s#“I’ll see you again”#oh man I pulled up the transcript to make sure I had it right and nearly started crying#no one is doing it like vaxleth. the ship of All Time#critical role#cr spoilers#eve talks#orym of the air ashari
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Jackie died. Jackie died and I'm devastated. I will never be the same person again
#I had to pause the game to bawl my eyes out#I WAS SO INVESTED IN HIM ARE YOU KIDDING ME#I think I get what you're trying to say to me game. is it worth it to put yourself in danger#and destroy yourself for a chance at a fame that you probably won't even get to enjoy#because you won't be there to see it?#is it worth it to break the hearts of the people you love in this pursuit? the people who'll grieve you?#I mean it's part of the first question that dex asks you when this whole thing starts and the last thing he says to you is also about that#about whether you wanna live a peaceful life or. go out like this#I get that. if that's what it's going for I get that. it gets the point across I'm not angry. but also#THAT WAS MY FRIEND#JACKIE MY FRIEND JACKIE 😭#WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DIED OF BLOOD LOSS THIS IS BULLSHIT#I'm never getting over this#sleep.txt#cp2077#jackie welles#OK OK HOLD ON I have more to say. I wanna expand on that jdjfkdkf bc I have Thoughts. especially playing corpo v like#I think the whole thing hit me even harder as corpo bc you get to see a sort of parallel situation with your v#where you had all this renown and respect but it came at a great cost. so great it nearly killed you#and then you go through that again and now you're dying and your friend is dead#and it's all in the pursuit of fame and money#that scene in the car when they're heading for the hotel reminded me so much of that initial scene with v#when you get in your fancy car and sip your fancy champagne#and like 10 minutes later nearly get killed by people from arasaka#I think there might be a point to be made there. about jackie heading towards the same kind of life just with a different coat of paint#being seduced by the same things we were seduced by while accepting the cost without fully understanding it#and then when you're faced with it it's. well it's heartbreaking and life ending#self destruction in the pursuit of something that makes you wonder if it was even all that worth it to begin with#viktor vektor is probably the happiest person I've met so far and that's saying something#anyway rant over. ty for your time I'm gonna go cry over jackie in the corner excuse me
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Percy Jackson and The Titan's Curse- Rick Riordan // Doctor Who S1 Ep9: The Empty Child // Anne Carson: An Oresteia- Sophokles: Elektra // A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Vile Village- Lemony Snicket // James Coates // Song of The Insensible- Andrew Kozma // Percy Jackson and The Titan's Curse- Rick Riordan
#im so sorry yall nancy in that doctor who episode seriously reminded me of bianca#also even if you know jack shit about dr who go watch that episode its quite possible my all time fave dr who episode its brilliant#i am so sorry its nearly midnight i have an exam tomorrow and im crying over the di angelo siblings#why am i like this#bianca di angelo#nico di angelo#di angelo siblings#percy jackson#pjo
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Meme dump yayyy🥳✨️
(off to make more now muhahaha >:3)
#SIGH WHERE HAD LILI DISAPPEARED TO THIS TIME? TSK TSK SMH 😔#Now now my dearest darling loyal subjects fret not~!!#your beloved princess shall answer all your worries away ~★#mwah mwah~<3#heh~🤭🩷#Soooo updated time!!! >_<#I'm on a road trip halfway across the country rn (was a fun bad idea..my cousins and I nearly had a heat stroke TWICE but it's soo worth it#...I'll hopefully be back by tonight because it's my grandfather's birthday tomorrow and we're planning a surprise party for him#Muhahaha >:3#* happy dances*#Anyways I had time to kill between crying while playing mystic messenger together with my cousin#(I'm making her do Saeran's route sjbqbjjbqjbqbj9ioqjqhiqohwu9wh9uwub I LOVE HIM I ADORE HIM HE WAS THE FIRST CHARACTER I EVER WANTED TO#MARRY HE IS SO DREAM HUSBAND CODED SIJSB8YWBUW MY POOR POOR SWEET ANGEL BABY YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER#THE WORLD DOES NOT DESERVE YOU AAHHHIHSIHAIJIAJ AND OMG HIS ENDING SONG IT ALWAYS MAKES ME CRY SJOBSOJHJSH0SSUS0SSHU0IS0HISH0IS0JHSHJS0HIS0#EVEN IF YOU WERE AN EXPIRED LOLIPOP I'D STILL EAT YOU!! I'D ALWAYS EAT YOU AND ONLY YOU NO MATTER WHAT#I-I MEAN PICK YOU!!! I'D ALWAYS PICK YOU NO MATTER WHAT!! NOT TO SAY THAT I WOULDN'T CANNIBALISE YOU!!#GIVE ME THE CHANCE AND I'D LICK YOU UP I WON'T LEAVE A SINGLE DROP BEHIND O-OF THE LOLIPOP OF OFC NOT TO SAY I WOULDN'T DO THE SAME IF IT#WAS HIS C- I'LL STOP MUST CONTROL I CAN'T WRITE ESSAYS HERE OF HOW MUCH I LOVE AND WANT SAERAN AHHHH MY HEART🥺🩷🩷😭😭)#*cough cough*sooo anywho I'm normal now dw!!😇✨️ (/lie)#and us reading ORV (I'm on chapter 340 something rn and kdj is kdj and i just want to soksjnss9hsj9sbu that stupid squid (/affectionate)#and if I start ranting rn it would never end...#so expect like a 80000 words essay when I'm done with the full novel🫠)#I cleared out my phone gallery yayyy heh🥳🤭 and found so many RH memes that I never posted lmao#Oh!!! And I've noticed something even though I'm a Vin girly through and through#(as evidenced by the fact that my blog is quite literally a shrine to him)#I always end up making Crux memes more...That stupid green onion clown you're so easy to love😔🩷#Anyways Lili out now mwah mwah mwah 🩷🩷🫂✨️#♡{reanimated heart}♡#reanimated heart#reanimatedheart
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i just imagined the most cursed/dumb experience you could have with eddie and now i need to put you all through it with me.
imagine getting insanely high with eddie and playing around with one of those stress balls with the netting. like the kind that change color when you squeeze it. and you're just squishing it, fiddling mindlessly, before suddenly looking up at eddie with the worst possible idea.
"eddie... do you think they...?"
and him being so wide-eyed, immediately catching on, "absolutely not."
but then, you're both high, and you're both prone to having the dumbest fucking ideas possible, so when eddie catches sight of your fishnets peeking out of the drawer across the room, he can't help himself from saying the dumbest possible thing to ever come out of his mouth.
"but wanna find out?"
the night ends with the two of you in the ER, and eddie deciding it doesn't matter how much he likes you in fishnets, the two of you will never have another pair in the household again.
please don't take this serious i'm going to cry from how fucking stupid this is
#this definitely happens in high school when the two of you are just so fucking dumb#i cannot emphasize how stupid this is#it had me cry laughing#this Would Not End Well#when you're both no longer high neither of you can believe you thought it would end any other way#wayne is giving the lecture of all lectures to the two of you about it when he picks you back up from the ER#he never lives it down#any time you wear fishnets around him after that day he has literal war flashbacks#claims he can now never have children and you just go 'welp it's cheaper than a vasectomy'#this is officially the shittiest of all my shit posts#i added a gif for visuals#eddie munson#stranger things#absolutely based on how stupid i act high as well#like the vaguest of bad ideas and immediately being enabled? me and eddie would not be allowed to be high around each other#im talking nearly greened out high too like#fucking gone#steve probably drives y'all to the er#hopper is laughing when he stumbles upon the entire mess and just fucking dies at how stupid you two are
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My submission for @aimportantdragoncollector's trioholders event (bonus round)!!
they are at the beach
#why? to smash childrens sandcastles and so yoichi can force third to let him give him a sand mermaid tail#jk its because yoichis pale ass needs to photosynthesise#even just a smidge of tan would be a miracle#anyways it took me 16 days but i did it yall#im gonna go cry in a corner now this was a PAIN to draw#was nearly gonna draw thirds hand on yoichis waist but then i realised i'd have to draw hands 😔#i was gonna give yoichi sunglasses but i ran out of time (ironic isnt it)#i had to make sure my first proper piece with the third ofa user was immaculate. i simply had to go plus ultra on him#....then the abs came#suddenly my will to art vanished#dont ask what happend with yoichi.... i cannot explain this phenomenon/miracle#something snapped in me after all my horrible yoichi arts i did the previous month#third only took me 3 days to draw. BLAME YOICHI FOR HOW LONG THIS TOOK!!!#his prettiness became the weakness for me finishing by the deadline#mha#shigaraki yoichi#yoichi shigaraki#one for all#my hero academia#first ofa user#third ofa user#my art#Three Weeks Of Trioholders#ichisan#i swear if i forgot a tag in here im gonna cry ITS TOO DAMN MANY#being someone that overdoes everything and is a artist AND writer is so painful. limits dont exist in the eyes of tien#just like sugis many ways to store me away#YEAH YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE SAFE HUH SUGI NOW EVERYONE KNOWS YOUR A VAULTER#i will escape from under your shoe. one day.
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what if I just quit my job and moved to the woods instead?
#don't mind me i've just spent all day nearly crying bc i cant concentrate for shit but have an important meeting tomorrow that i need to#prepare stuff cor#for#i was not meant to have a job with important meetings or 8h desktop time i dont want this life#no i'm not being overly dramatic (yes i am)#i'm just so exhausted and a bit ill and should get like 8 days off to sleep and then i would be fine again#ramblings
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THIS GAME MAN...
#the bit with helping bonnie out nearly made me cry#and I rarely cry at fictional media#god THIS GAME.....#I care for them all so much#they mean so much to me and im not ready for everything to go wrong#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#coy talks too much
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...
#i never really thought about a person being a finite thing. you can see the effects of a person after they die. in the unfinished projects.#in the rooms of clutter. in abandoned closets. in pictures and in mermered phrases. and you can see time#chipping away at those things. eroding away the evidance that a person existed. clothes move into other people's closets. projects are boxed#away. and a person becomes confined to photos and memories. and thats existentially terrifying but its not a bad thing. time erodes away all#things. that's how life works. matter and energy transforms.#we arent made to last forever. i dunno. i guess im still just rattled from being home even tho ive been back a week and a half.#and my brain tends to fixate on the wrong things. nearly 27 years of knowing someone eclipsed by a visual sequence lasting less than a day.#bc i just cant get over how scary it would be to die like that. to start losing control of your body. to not be able to feed yourself or get#to the bathroom. to have your mind be overcome by the toxins building up in your mangled and broken body.#and it could have been worse. it could have been a lot worse. but its still not fair. theres no good way to die. i dunno. i guess i just#miss my mom in some abstract way but i find it more viscerally upsetting to think about the people that have to deal with her absence.#it makes me sad that my dad is alone now. i dunno. grief doesnt feel like i thought it would. most of the time i dont even know what im#crying about. its undirected. it doesnt feel like: i miss you. it feels like: youre gone. how can you be gone? why does everything feel the#same? and its not that it doesnt make sense. its that nothings changed. the terror of that.#and im walking around in an acumulation of my dead mother's clothes. and no one knows. theyll never know.#and there's nothing to be done about it. so it goes.#i guess im just sad. and its hard to breathe at the thought of returning to school at the end of August.#unrelated
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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i could talk for hours abt the differences between itafushikugi and sashisu but ultimately it comes down to the former being the cutest little bunnies and the latter being dirty raccoons you find in a trash can outside of your apartment complex
#if you get it you get it 🫡🫡#sashisu are ALL soggy little losers#emotionally constipated meowmeows#they’re sooo similar and i truly believe they’re the only ones who can fully stand each other#(said w immense affection)#but itafushikugi are just . soooo . precious. they have flaws and their own emotional constipation but it’s not NEARLY as bad#itafushikugi are your beloved childhood friends who you cry with and laugh with no matter how much time passes#sashisu are . different variations of the homoerotic codependent situationship you form in high school and never move on from#like . sashisu are all extremely kind people. they just happen to also be fucked in the head#one day i’ll make a more serious post abt this bc i think it’s so interesting and compelling and heartwarming#to see the gap between gojo’s generation and the next when it comes to emotional vulnerability and destigmatization#but for now i’ll just leave it at this 😭#my beloved little dumpster babies <333#ari noises ✩
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after these leaks i just genuinely think megumi has depression like not even in a “wow haha he always pulls out mahoraga!” way but in an Oh my god his WHOLE LIFE has been in shambles since he was like 8 and i think he is like forever messed up
#this might be a severe misunderstanding of his character but also#we do not have nearly enough detail about his backstory and that worries me#we don’t have enough detail about him PERIOD#or at least from how i understand jjk#like maybe he pulls out mahoraga all the time because he’s willing to sacrifice himself all the time in like the craziest way possible#what do you mean i have to see a panel of him kneeling and crying and saying ‘that’s enough i don’t care anymore’#LET ME OUT AAAA TELL ME ITS NOT TRUE TELL ME ITS NOT TRUE#i just think that having a really messed up family dynamic and being raised by a teenager for most of your life would really fuck you up#but also like yeah i think that having to watch u kill ur own sister in your body is pretty bad#i just think he’s sad he makes me sad every time i see him#jjk 251#jjk spoilers#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi
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