#i was home for like 30 min to walk the dogs and then i went to my grandpa to finish a painting...

[wawek]

Just getting home aughhhh

[roimp]

SO TODAY....

(THIS IS ONLY FOR ROSE)

[look-at-the-stars-tonight]

update i think it went well!! 

I’m meeting a friend’s husband today and I’m soooo nervous

[acesofspadess]

Home Grown

a/n: heheheeh

summary: back home can mean one thing...

Landing at 9 in morning in Dublin gave you enough time to get through the airport with minimal fan encounters.  Because you were only staying for the day you hadn’t booked a hotel, only having a carry on shared for both of you and a personal item. Atticus, who had flown in a few days earlier and was very excited to see his best friend, offered to pick you both up and take you where you needed to go. “Bestie?!” he shouted when you walked out of the airport. You ran up to him and hugged him tumbling to the ground. Niall was filming the whole thing and laughed when you both got up still hugging each other. “Are you ready?” 

“Fuck no.”

maiaquinn

maiaquinn See you soon Slane 🇮🇪

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naiastan SLANE!!!!!!!!

niallleerrrrrr is Niall with you???

missquinn_maia I KNEW IT

As you arrived to Slane Castle you froze. “What the fuck am I doing?” you whispered from the back seat of Atticus’ car. You let Niall sit in the front as his legs were longer. “About to perform for one of the biggest crowds in the world.” Atticus shrugged off and you hit his shoulder. “Okay lets not got hurt right now. We’re driving.” Niall grabbed your hand before you could throw another punch at Atticus, who was ducking from you while finding the closest parking spot.

You stepped out of the car for the first time since the airport (only 30 min) and groaned, stretching before you were jumping up and down and skipping all over the parking lot. “I'm home!” you sang and Niall looked at you with so much love. He was surprised he hadn’t slipped up and told you yet. 

“Are you gonna tell her?” Atticus asked not taking his eyes off you who had just laid in the middle of the road. He looked at him questioningly. “Tell her you love her.”  Atticus further described turning to him. Niall turned back to you only to see you with a puzzled expression looking at your phone.

“Hey what happened.” he pushed off the car atticus on his tail. “She finally twisted the story, right after my post. That-” but Niall kissed you before you could say anything you might regret. You melted into his arms as he carefully massaged your scalp through your mane of curly hair. “Post it.” he whispered and you immediately looked at him. “YOU want me to post it.” he nodded and Atticus hummed his agreement, “If you won’t I will.” you nodded at him giving the approval to do so while you got your guitar out of the car. “Don’t let it ruin your day love.” Niall whispered. You looked up at him and sighed. “I know.” he kissed you lips effectively taking the pout off them.

The band pulled up around 10 minutes later as it took them longer in the airport with their instruments. “Hey guys! You ready for this?” they all cheered as they gave you hugs. “Thank you guys so much for letting me steal you. I really appreciate it.” they all shrugged you off with different forms of ‘of course!’. You all walked the short distance to the backstage area where they were waiting.

“Look what the cat dragged in.” he smirked as you and Niall walked up to him ahead of everyone. “You know I prefer dogs H.” he laughed and you hugged him. “Hey mate.” Niall and Harry hugged and both boys hands caught you as you pretended to faint. “My 9 year old self is screaming, actually no- thats just me.” you joked making the two boys laugh. “Funny one you got there Nialler.” Harry pointed out and Nial scoffed, “so she would like to think.” you pouted and he laughed, “you know its just banter.” he kissed you, “i know, i just wanted a kiss.” you shrugged pushing past Harry to go say hi to the rest of the band like you weren’t just freaking about meeting everyone.

During soundcheck you and the band went over some of your own songs as well as some you sang on The Voice just in case you wanted to switch it up. “You guys are amazing. I love you” you cried to the band as they nailed everything. You would be the last opener and because of that Harry and the Love band were sitting around the stage watching your half-arsed performance.

“I promise I will sound a lot better later.” you joked into the mic and they all laughed. “You might put Harry out of job tonight.” Ariza joked and you laughed before running around the stage as Harry tried to chase you. “You can’t take my job.” he dropped in the middle of the stage and you laughed running back to him. “There, there, Mr. just Harry.” you patted his fluffy hair, before he was grabbing your legs making you laugh before you hopped on his back “We all know the person these people look up to is Niall.” and as if on cue his famous laughter rang through the stage. “Speak of the leprechaun and he shall appear.” Harry giggled. “I see she’s got you wrapped around her finger.” Niall joked, shaking his head at you. “I mean it Niall. If you hurt her…'' he trailed off, and that was the only time you had ever even thought of Harry looking scary. “Scouts honour.” He took a pic of you and Harry and in the time you two were goofing around the instruments had been changed and everyone was in their respective spots. 

“Can I stay and watch.” They all agreed without hesitation and it was a very fun soundcheck. You switched back and forth from mimicking piano, to guitar, to the drums. You even did the cinema horns. “Do you know how to play all these?” Pauli asked from his set up and you nodded with a big smile. “Play the drums!” he asked and you looked to Sarah who nodded with a shrug. “Alright then, H can we do ‘Daylight’?” and they looked at you. “What? Is tonights song Stockholm?” you asked innocently still wondering why they were all looking at you like that.

“That song is all drums.” You heard Elin say shocked. You shrugged, “I guess?” Harry shrugged and when he gave you all a thumbs up you started playing. You played through the whole song with everyone staring at you. You sang Sarah's lines as well, and everyone was amazed, not that you knew as your eyes were closed.

“Fucking hell, Maia.” Harry cursed into the mic as gently paced Sarah’s sticks on her stool and walked off the stand. “That was fun.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were shitting yourself as the band went on to set themselves up. “Hey, you know what your doing. You have no reason to be nervous.” Niall whispered into your ear as he hugged you. His hugs were grounding and you wished you could perform like this. “This is 80 thousand people Niall. 80!” you wanted to throw up at the thought. “You sang on my live infront of 50.” he pointed out. “No it was one, you.” You shot back and he grimaced knowing you were technically right… you had only seen him.

“It doesn't matter, just be yourself. Harry wouldn’t have put you on if he thought you weren’t ready. Everyone believes in you. Do you believe in yourself?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walked on stage while messing with your in ears. The band had walked on with you again and that calmed you down. “Hello Slane!” you shouted into the mic and you heard the audience cheer. “Im Maia Quinn.” again more cheers. “Okay so some of you do know me.” you chuckled nervously, “I’ve never done anything of this magnitude before, and im shitting myself because of that.” you heard the roar of laughter and we’re glad this wasn’t a complete fail. “Before I sing some songs for you guys I want to thank the ‘Lemons’ as I stole them.” They laughed at you as you blew them a kiss, “And I want to thank Harry for giving me this opportunity.” Everyone screamed as you saw Harry in his tracksuit wave at you from side stage. He was closer as he wanted to watch your performance and have enough time to get changed. “Im gonna play some of my own songs, and some you may know. So if you know the words sing ‘em with me.”

You sang two of your ballads, and when you sang your more up beat one they sang it with you and smiled as they took over the chorus

I can feel it coming miles away

Feel the rhythm and how it’s calling your name

And you know it, every note that you read

I can feel it on every inch of my skin

In my blood, running , I’d like it facing the wind

And you know it, every note that you read

“Wow i wasn’t sure you guys would know that one.” you laughed, you saw someone hold a sign up and you read it, “Hi whats your name? Ezra? Nice to meet you Ezra. You want me to sing ‘Wicked Game’?” you clarified and some people screamed in agreement. You were glad you soundcheck some songs, “Give me two seconds.” you told him and you jogged to the band and they all agreed. 

You then turned to Harry and held a thumbs up. He wanted to hear this live more than anyone. You held a thumbs up and they started playing and those who knew cheered.

The audience clapped along with the music and you could only imagine what they looked like behind your closed eye

What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way

Niall wished your eyes were open so you could see how he looked at you

What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you

The audience cheered as you added a bit of rasp and edge

And I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart)

No, I don't wanna fall in love (this world is only gonna break your heart)

With you

No, I 

As you held onto your note you used all you could to power through all 10 seconds of the song for the note that blew everyone away

Nobody 

Your eyes softly as you looked at the crowd before your eyes closed again as you finished the song

loves no one

Everyone cheered and you saw Harry jumping up and down as you looked at him and he whistled before clapping again. “It's been donkey’s years since I last sang that.” you laughed and took a sip of water while walking to pick up your acoustic. “Now every single one of you should know this next song, if you don’t,” you paused, “someone will be very sad.”

It was just you and your guitar for this one. You started to finger pick the strings and they cheered as they heard the familiar tune.

Waking up to kiss you and nobody’s there

The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air

It’s hard

Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running round

It’s funny how things never change in this old town

So far from the stars

You barely sang as the crowd of 80 thousand sounded like a speaker.  “The next song I'm gonna play I've seen circulating around twitter with some videos of you guys coming up with your own verses. Its crazy how its been so many years since I released this.” Those who knew what you were on about started screaming and you laughed. “This is ‘Nonsense’.”

This song catchier than chicken pox is

As you heard them shout it to you you held the mic towards them

I bet your house is where my other sock is

Woke up this morning thought I'd write a pop hit

How quickly can you take your clothes off? Pop quiz

There's 80 thousand people at this concert

You the twist the story now I've got the last word

Please don't test me your just gonna get hurt

Thank you Slane, I hope I did you justice

One more song, then Harry’ll be out on stage I promise 

You laughed as they booed. “Harry’s not gonna like that.” you looked in his direction and he shook his head with a laugh. “He said i can take over!” they all cheered and you quickly brought them back down, “no sorry, only joking.” you held your hand up apologetically. 

“Alright loves, this is the last song and then you guys will see who you paid for. But if you know anything about me it’s probably my cover of this song.” they all cheered as you sat down on the stage floor, bringing the guitar mic with you so you had something to sing into. “This is Still.” you took out one of your in-ears to hear the sound of the guitar better.

My mind is complicated

Find it hard to rearrange it

But I'll have to find a way somehow

Overreacting lately

Find it hard to say I'm sorry

But I'll make it up to you somehow

I just don't know why

Stars won't shine at night

You around seeing some people with tears already falling

Tell me you want it

A thousand miles away from the day that we started

But I'm standing here with you, just trying to be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

Well, I'm still in love with you

Did I miscalculate this?

Let's just go back to basics

Forget about what's come and gone

'Cause I hate to see us like this

Breaking up on nights just like this

We should be shooting for them stars of gold

It crazy playing this song again

So tell me you want it

A thousand miles away from the day that we started

But I'm standing here with you, just trying to be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

Then I guess we lost our focus

And it's killing me that we could go to war like this

But I'm standing here with you, just trying to be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

Well, I'm still in love with you

Oh, we'll be alright

Oh, it'll be alright

Oh, we'll be alright

Oh, it'll be alright

“Sing it!”

So tell me you want it

A thousand miles away from the day that we started

But I'm standing here with you, just trying to be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

I guess we lost our focus

And it's killing me that we could go to war like this

But I'm standing here with you, just trying to be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

Well, I'm still in love with you

They all screamed as you stood up and bowed. You moved the mic stand back to its respectful place, guitar swung around to your back as you blew kisses to them while saying thank you. You waved until you were in the dark and ran off to go find Niall. 

“Ni?!” you yelled around all the trailers. When you opened the door to your trailer you saw him in the middle of the room on one knee. “Niall Horan what the fuck are you doing?” you whisper-shouted. He laughed and shook his head. “Telling you, I love you.” you dropped to the floor next to him and placed the guitar down. “Then why are you on your knees?” you questioned putting his face in your hands. “Because I do have a ring for you.” he said, pulling out two blue boxes. 

“Niall Horan.” you repeated in shock again. “I liked both, and knew you would too, so I bought both.” He giggled still through tears. “This one is a knot, because im tied to you, always will be.” He said placing it on your right pointer finger, “and this one- its the Tiffany T but it looked like an H so of course I bought it.” You laughed as he placed it on your left middle finger, right next to his gold and green one. “Now I have three promises to you, to love you,” he kissed his ring, “to be yours forever,” he kissed the ‘H’ ring, “and to forever be with you, through thick and thickest.” He finished off by kissing the knot ring. 

When he released your hands you ran your hands over his cheeks. “God, I love you so much. I feel like a shithole because you gave me all of this and- when even did you get these?” you laughed knowing he’d been with you all day. “In New York. when you went to take a nap I left.” he laughed as you shoved his shoulder.

“I love you so much Niall Horan.”

“I love you Maia Quinn, always.”

[grimesapologist]

i had the MOST awesome day with ravn today, we were supposed to go to my friend jenny's cabin outside oslo and make music but both of us got up around 5pm. (cause ravn was working at a bar the night before - a bar I also went to after seeing a really cool exhibition - anyways we both got home late and woke up late)

anyways, we didn't make it to the cabin, but we met up around 9 at her dad's place and went on a quest for food, we were thinking about nachos first, then pizza, but the metal bar that sells the pizza had closed the kitchen, so we walked around oslo for like an hour and eventually bought bread, pesto, cheese and alfalfa along with some snacks and beer from the corner store.

we took these snacks to a bar by the canal where they had a fire pit, which was awesome! we sat by the fire and drew some dog-fish hybrid creatures and came up with an awesome story about them, made a stupid but very funny meme about socrates and christmas, and toasted little cheese-bread-pesto-alfalfa open faced sandwiches in the fire for like hours maybe, until we realised it was 2am and the bar closed at 3:30 so we went to see some techno dj play, i met one of her friends from high school who was super nice, and we danced our asses off til like 3:30, the music was pretty good for being techno.

after we left the bar we ran into our good friend embla who was having a cigarette outside her apartment building before going in for the night (she had been at dinner and then at bar, i think), we sat and chatted with embla for like 20 mins sitting at this lunch table outside the apartment building til embla went up to her place cause she had work at 11, but the vibe at the lunch table was awesome so me and ravn set up there, had some more sandwiches and i mentioned how much i love hearing her talk passionately about guitar pedals...

we then proceeded to talk passionately about guitar pedals. for 2 hours in the cold, it was 2 degrees celsius and windy but i didn't feel it, and every time i caught my reflection in the window behind her while she was talking i had the biggest smile on my face, listening to her explain stuff like positive and negative polarity, talk about this one pedal which is the second model of something (it's a pog pedal btw) which sounds slightly less cool but also has an expression pedal input so is super cool because of that, she told me about the ambient sounding reverb pedal she already has which has a really nice reverse delay, but how this other reverb she has ordered that is stuck in customs has some other features that make it also super cool, and many more awesome things. we talked until my fingers were too cold and stiff to roll cigarettes and the shivers began to take hold. we then tried to figure out somewhere else to go, but at this point it was 5am and everywhere was closed and we were freezing to death, so we called it a night and are gonna hang out tomorrow and play some guitar.

i am very excited.

[nicistrying]

Sunday 21st April

What a weekend 🥴

Yesterday was Matt's birthday so I made him breakfast in bed and we went for a lovely walk with Maggie, saw all her friends, had a great time 🥰

I went out and did a big grocery shop for my sister bc she said she had been really struggling with money lately as she's between jobs and will miss April pay cutoff at her new job so won't get paid until the end of May. She's also getting evicted from her house bc she's unable to get a mortgage to buy it, so the landlord is just giving it to her daughter instead which is shitty. So she's having a really tough time so I went and bought her just a load of food she can make meals with and stuff bc she said she had been sending the kids up to their dad's house for dinner bc she didn't have enough food in. Which fucking sucks. So got all that, finished off Matt's birthday cake - coffee & walnut, his fave. And then started on my nephew's cake! Which annoyingly I forgot to take a pic of when it was finished 😭

Matt's birthday card and mug from Maggie arrived

It has a photo from the day we got her, one of the funniest moments of her life when she got stuck between the sofa cushions, and one of them together on the side of a mountain and it says Best Dog Dad. He usually hates stuff like that but he loves it 🤭

Cleaned up the kitchen about 3 times after all the baking, realised it was 5pm and I had 30 mins to get ready, and we went out with Matt's family for dinner. We went to a Vietnamese place and it was so good. His parents were difficult as always but they left after food and we stayed out for a few drinks with his brothers and we had a fun night. He was really happy to have everyone together ❤️

Came home a little tipsy I think around midnight, got up early again this morning to walk Maggie so Matt could have a lie in. Thank god though, he woke up not long after me and offered to do the walk so I did all the housework that didn't get done all week. The house is finally sort of back to normal so I felt much better. Finished off my nephew's cake, and went over to my sister's to see him. We just had a few of his friends round and all the adults sat having a couple of drinks and eating snacks. It was lovely! I was so nervous to give my sister all the food but she took it really well, I tried to frame it as a working from home hamper bc her new job is full time WFH and I said in my experience you realise how fucking hungry you are when you're not out at work distracted by other stuff, but she didn't see all the meat, tins, fruit and veg in the bottoms of the bags so I really hope she isn't offended when she does. I know she's way too proud to ask anyone to help but it's not fair that she has to sacrifice having dinner with her kids. So I wrote her a little card and explained that I know she'd do the same for me. Haven't heard from her yet but she was super happy when I brought the stuff into her garage. Drove home feeling pretty icky (again! Wtf is going on with my body), I was shivering I was so cold and had the heaters blasting in my face the whole drive home and had an awful headache despite chugging water all afternoon. Curled up in my pjs when I got home, had a cup of tea and felt much better. Currently in a hot bath, ready for an early night. Think I'm just run down tbh, it's been a crazy busy few weeks.

Oh also! I got The Photo for the wedding thank you cards! Finally the sun was out and she was smiling and the crown stayed on her head for more than half a second 🙌

So I can order those this week!!

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend 🥰🥰

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

doesn't rly involve me but i'm rattled..

What is going on with the world rn man it feels really escalated. today something happened just a house down from where i live.. i dont even wanna say what it was like it's just so beyond tragic and dark...it happened right there like i see those people all the time. idk them but i see them. it all took place somewhere within the 30 mins me n slimbo were out walking the dogs , their sister was home n heard the whole thing..

the timing was just wild cus i feel like if i had been home to hear it i wouldve gone out to investigate and seen something the would've scarred me for life i kno this cus its what the neighbors across the street saw , they told me about it.. its heartbreaking because i heard screams from that house before, one time i even went outside to check where it was coming from to make sure, and i thought cops were gonna pull up it was that bad.. but instead i saw their car speed out of the driveway. that was a while ago tho like last fall..

oh gosh its just dark it's really dark. it's heavy im praying so hard for that family. its way too close to home definitely got my nervous system triggered. Ok this is not meant to be dismissive of the seriousness but that house was always really off. from the first time i saw it a couple years ago i felt i can't look directly at that house. like if i look at a window something will be staring back at me. the dogs stop to sniff there i look the other direction. no other houses round here make me feel this distinct way it was always noticeable. disturbing to have that passive observation validated in such an extreme way.

idek what to say im just in total disbelief at everything happening in this world rn. had no appetite in days...just overwhelmed by it like i wish there was st i cld do. so much death , cruelty, having no choice but to sit back and process it all is eerie & grating & intense. i am just trying to pray for everyone any time i feel fear .. ahh.. writing helps a little too but not rly. genuinely hope this isnt distasteful to write about i just needed to get it off my chest, no 1 up to talk to tn. Stay safe out there everyone i pray for oomfies always ;_; <3

[ayyponine]

sometimes u just realise there are things you are getting too old for  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

went to a free lil festival the other day w a colleague, her bf, his lil brother and one of his friends and. can i just say. i was like ten years older than everyone else there and by god did i feel it

the boys were playing football in the streets then climbed some random scaffolding and i was the only one going oooooo be careful now oh god do not fall off

on our way to the park the bf offered me a cigarette (very kind) by going "rookt u?" aka addressing me w the formal you i mean thats very polite and well mannered of him but also i never felt more old lady chaperoning in my life it almost knocked me back

once there the two younger boys snapped a pic of a woman in a mobility scooter and were sending it back n forth over social media and i was sooo fucking. floored to even be a witness to this i didnt even know how to react aside frm looking at them like >:/???????????

we had planned on going to a concert but they were only interested in the DJ after party thing which only lasted like. an hour. nvm the lineup of the prev 3 hrs they just wanted to go fr that tail end

once there barely 15 mins in me and the colleague were sent out again to go get booze. we went to the store and she didnt have enough on her card. i offered to pay w cash but she refused and instead got on the phone w her bf until he transsferred enough to get it. then i almost smuggled in our bottles of 1. booze and 2. soda but backpedaled when she mentioned getting caught could mean getting fined and i, an entire 30 yr old, didnt much care abt getting on my record a mention of smuggling alcohol into a park to give to idek how old the lil brother and his friend were their behaviour sure suggested they were under 18. like im not doing that.

to smuggle shit in easier my colleague dumped out some of the coke and most of the vodka to mix em up and only carry in one bottle and all i could think was omg... you just paid like 20 euros fr that liquor and now youre pouring it out in this planter and leaving the bottle w it what a shame what a waste you couldve at least offered me some before dunking it straight out damn

once we were back in and ready to hear the final like. again mb 15 minutes of this DJ act all i could do was stand tall and shield their drinking frm a big ole conspicuous cola bottle they were passing oaround from the eyes of any police possibly lurking. did i mention they also had a set of vapes youre not allowed to have in this country. with like lil lights on em

also the lil brother got bumped into by a woman in her mb late fifties who was like omggg sorryyyyyy so obv i turned around and talked to her fr a sec like its ok. are you ok and when she was like im finnneee just had a lil too much to drink (do you have friends here to look after you and make sure you get home safe) yea and its alright im bikinggg (that can be dangerous too pls be careful) okk (ok enjoy yr night)

anyway the evening was over after that and they walked back home and all i could think was well i loved spending some time w my colleague either way but also. i came down an hour early. she and i walked the dog before we went to the thing. could any of those guys not have idk. gone to buy booze beforehand if thats what they wanted. or better yet pregamed before we went on the five min walk to the event from their house. did they really HAVE to have alcohol in their hands during the ONE SINGLE HOUR they spent there. and why the hell were we the ones to go and get it for them christ

me just standing there the entire time thinking wow this is so camille when she goes to the party w amma and her friends and is a witness to all their high school drama. this is so cross hands prefight bathroom core when gary knows his friends are tired of him and hes trying to invite himself into this group of youngsters who ARE having a good time

like god bless them fr inviting me along. next time let me meet up w another 30 yr old so we can actually attend the music and enjoy the vibes damn i truly am too old for this. why did i low key wish i instead was w the friend group of 50+ers havin a drink too many and dancing and singing along to the act hello

[running-swimming-living]

Pool day. I woke up with every intention of taking a 3.6 mile run but after walking the dog I just took a nap on the couch.

I woke up at 8:30 and went to church for the first time in my life. The church is right next to the condo development i live in. I had a great time. It was so comforting knowing there are places where people come together just for the sole purpose of helping each other and encouraging one another to live a full decent life.

I ran into the dean of the college of education at the university where I got my masters. It was wild.

Came home. Emotionally processed what just happened to me and the progress it has made for my mental health. Washed the dog.

Then I went for a swim. The water was frigid cold but I welcomed it bc it felt like an ice bath and tbh it’s just what I needed. Took a 15 min swim in the ice cold water. Tomorrows exercise is gonna be a run though.

[whentherewerebicycles]

phew I got the tutoring job! huge relief, especially as I just narrowly avoided overdrawing my bank account when my rent payment went through 🫠 I still have about $1500 in medical bills to pay off in installments but I am sloooowly getting closer to being able to put money away again. I’m not sure I can really afford this weights class in the long term but I feel like gym classes are kind of on the same level as buying healthy food—both are expensive but they feel like justifiable expenses for health/well-being reasons. I’ll try out this two-month package I bought and see how I feel at the end of it.

okay let’s think about the day. I do want to go back and add two more slides to my slide deck (one definitions slide and one sample CS project, maybe the AI ethics or psych/CS one) then just quickly run through the whole thing, but I think it’s basically done. I also want to go for a 40 min walk since I won’t be home until after dark. let’s see how about this:

7-9 coffee, lounge, work emails

9-10 walk dogs

10-10:30 shower/get ready

10:30-11:15 add two additional slides, email slide deck to the professor, make breakfast and pack a late lunch?

11:15-11:45 get dressed but also hmm think a bit about this website stuff…

11:45ish drive into work

12:15-1 prep for website mtg + librarians mtg

1-1:30 class presentation

1:30-2 prep for librarians

2-2:30 meet with librarians

2:30-3:30 do a burst of work on rec letter? or finish website planning, review annual report

3:30-4 class presentation

4-6 scholars event

6-6:30 commute home (pick up Rx??)

stir fry leftovers for dinner, do some of these setup tasks for the tutoring job, read

[maplecaster]

ok i was in school with someone who reminded me a lot of my friend cam so i’ll just call him cam. we got bored and started hanging out with the school grandma who lives inna dark room by herself separated above everyone in the school and we figured she was lonely. however she somehow got a hold of some soda which was against her religion or something and the school got mad but they didnt know who gave it to her so there was a school-wide assembly (only like 50 people tho) where they yelled at us for giving the grandma soda and said that anyone who has soda has to give it up now so a bunch of people were standing up and passing along random sodas. but my friend cam was sitting in the back and hiding behind other people (he is small like 4’9) so he didnt get caught bc they’d recognize that it was his soda she drank. the bell to leave school rang a bit later so we all stood up and left in the middle of the principal talking bc no one was listening to him anyway + i had to be ready for when my bus comes.

little tangent, here’s something that is always in my school dreams because it always happened irl: i need to be vigilant to hear when my bus comes, they announce it over the intercom or you can just wait outside. you had to know your bus number (5, 6, 3, etc) and ask the office which bus that referred to (456, 1338, 712, etc) and just have that memorized all year. when your bus comes, you have like 6 minutes before it leaves and if ur late ur fucked. bus is gone and you have to call your parents to pick you up.

so in my dream, i was a bit anxious after the bell rang that i would miss my bus, but i always had to wait like 30 mins for it to get here anyway. i spoke to cam as we were walking in the hallway. i then did something for him, i can’t remember what it was, i think i gave him something that he’ll give to someone else for a favor, but since i helped, he owed me a favor now. i asked for some soda and he said hed get me some. we went into the teachers office who had held the soda that was given up in the assembly, but it was gone. then the teacher came in and asked what we were doing. the whole room got super tense, but cam being the baller he is, did his best dog robot student* impression and said “oh hello mr [ ]. i’ve just been having a tough— er, ruff day.”

i started laughing, but the teacher seemed unamused, “a ruff day, huh?”

and i said “cmon teach, wasn’t that hilarious? ‘a tough— er, ruff day.’ ha!” the teacher started smiling, then full on laughing realizing it was pretty funny. we were both able to leave after that.

we kept walking down the hallway, i just kept following him cuz he hadnt paid me yet. as we walked there were was someone who tossed him what seemed like a small black and red rock, no doubt something cam will trade for something else later. we enter a room and cam puts his back onto something that was against the wall. he patted it, directing my attention to it, and i realize it’s stacks upon stacks of boxes of energy drinks. like, stacked to the ceiling, taking up like half the wall. not exactly soda, but i’ll take it. there were a couple other students in the room, and the door was wide open. i sneakily grabbed one box and brought it into an attached dark room, setting it down and opening it. i grabbed a can and slid it into my hoodie pocket. hopefully no teacher will ask what i’ve got hiding in there. i go back to the other students who are watching cam trying to climb a stack of boxes in the middle of the room. they’re saying things like “be careful!” “you can skip to the fourth box!” “man cmon get down!” idk why he was climbing it but i told him i was gonna try to catch my bus and left.

i guess i did catch it because i was suddenly home, sitting at my computer with my energy drink and a large box of chocolate peanuts. they didnt really go together but theyre both tasty on their own. Yummm ok the end

*dog robot student = students that are robots that were programmed to do dog stuff or something? idk it was weird but they always make dog puns when they talk (they dont have to its just for fun)

[balapann-blog]

Day 49 - 24 October - Tbilisi > Yerevan

Got slightly rudely awoken by the lady on the train demanding our bed linen with 30 mins to go. We got into the station and figured out where we needed to go and got on the very cool metro. I went outside the station to get cash and on my way back I caught a glimpse of snow capped Mt. Ararat which was pretty amazing for a morning. We then got into our apartment and then went for breakfast. We went to this place which served Armenian flatbreads called lavash, the place was also called lavash!

After that we went to this amazing brutalist steps called the cascades which once you get to the top of them give you an amazing view of the city and Ararat. A very sweet dog followed us for about 25 mins before lying down at the top of the cascades and not coming with us as we defended. To the side of the cascade was the Matenadaran, the library of Armenian manuscripts. This had a really interesting set of manuscripts, mostly Armenian but also from other places. Most of them were bibles, which is understandable considering that Armenia was the worlds first Christian nation, with them adopting it before pax Romani. You can see how much the language and script means to the people, considering how the nation has been attacked and its culture attempted to be destroyed. One exhibit had different documents which showed its engagement with the ottomans, such as decrees from the sultan thanking a doctor for their service. Seeing in Turkey how historical museums look to erase the history or Greeks, and Armenians from ottoman history it felt a necessary exhibit. After that we went to this very nice cafe in an old tobacconist which was very retro.

We then went and picked up our bags from bag storage and chilled at home for a bit as we were both (me especially) tired from the night train. We then walked down to this open air market to see if there were any antiques or thinks we might like (there were not), and we went to some antique shops which were interesting but with nothing we would buy. There was one miniature painting which I liked but was like 2 grand so not quite in the price range.

We went to this nice shop just beside us to buy food for dinner, which we then cooked. It was nice to eat in again! Nin put on this hacks programme which gave life hacks like cleaning tips or craft ideas. It was weirdly hypnotic but got a bit deranged in the medical hacks section. I went to sleep early was very tired and passed out at about 9.

Day 50 - 25 October - Yerevan (and south Armenia tour)

Got ready for our tour which left very close to our flat. Our first stop was the Khor Virap Monestry, which sat under Mt. Ararat, which meant that it was about 100m from the Turkish border since Mt. Ararat is in Turkey. It was very beautiful and was built on the dungeon that St. Gregory the Illuminator (which Nina and I misheard as the Eliminator!!) was imprisoned before being released and helping the Kingdom adopt Christianity. Our tour guide who consistently switched between English and Russian gave us a good overview of the Armenian Apostolic Church (he would do an English tour for half the place and then do a Russian one while we had free time to walk around, which was good because the English speaking tour was smaller.) the churches are very incense heavy which I think is definitely missing from the Church of Ireland!

On our was to the next stop we passed along the milatarised border with Azerbaijan, which was pretty intense! You could see trenches on a hill beyond the road, but there was defences built along the roadside with foxholes built into them. We also passed through some territory that on the map says Azerbaijan but is de facto Armenia (there are several of these enclaves on both sides of the border). It was pretty intense and the guide gave us a good explanation of the situation as it currently is, along with hopes that the border settlement will be agreed quickly. From my reading of the current state of these negotiations this seems quite unlikely, especially with the terms that Azerbaijan with its vastly better equipped army and its support from Turkey might force them to take. Seeing the border up close lays bare how exposed Armenia is and how dependant it is on Russia being an honest broker in the conflict.

Our second stop was a winery and lunch that I think would have been really interesting had we not just done a very detailed wine tour in Georgia, but it did allow us to be more discerning in our wine tasting! We got 3 wines to taste and then they gave us the opportunity to taste 3 more (reserva) wines for 7£. We shared one but were the only people to do it, meaning we were late for our lunch.

The third stop was the really beautiful Noravank monestry and archaeological cave excavation. The monastery is one of the most beautiful in Armenia and as we arrived there was a wedding just finishing. It is on a hill at the top of a steep valley/gorge and was really stunning. The caves are where they found the world’s oldest shoe! And evidence of wine making 6000 years ago which they said was the oldest ever (disputing Georgia’s 8000 claim, although I am backing Georgia in this) the site was a live dig site with string everywhere and the wine vessels still in the ground. This is in stark contrast to Turkey’s treatment of Ani where workmen were moving stones and dumping them in other parts of the complex which seemed like a really criminal way of doing it as you could then not know where the stones had come from. After that we got the bus home.

We had dinner in this place that was recommended, but it was in this hotel and not very busy for a Friday night which was slightly strange. We were not massively hungry so got a salad each and a soup each. The food was delicious though, I had this lovely salad of black wild rice, pomegranate seed, goats cheese, mint and walnuts with a really nice dressing. Nin had a very tarragony (I think that’s a word) salad with quail eggs, and our soups were yogurty with lentils and delicious caramelised onion. We went back and went to bed again tired from a long but fascinating day!

Day 51 - 26 October - Yerevan

Went for a run which included a run up the cascades, I went up as fast as I could and was goosed by the end (I had to stop a few times). We then went home and got ready to go out for the day. We had breakfast at this really nice coffee shop near us that does porridge which Nin was very happy about. I had a great toasted sandwich and a flat white which after lots of Turkish coffee over the last 2 months was really good.

We then went to the Armenian Genocide museum which was very bleak as expected but really good. It lasted out in detail the timeline of events and how it happened, along with the context. I had some context from the book I read on the Ottomans last year but it was no less powerful. As with the other places we have been like this on our trip, it was impossible not to see the parallels with what is happening now in Gaza and in other places in the world like Ukraine. The idea of needing to rid a country or empire of people who don’t fit your vision of who should like in that land is just so horrible. I think the amount of times we say never again and then watch as they do is heartbreaking.

Turkey does not recognise the genocide and even have a monument to the victims of genocide across the border from Yerevan in Igdir in a grotesque form of trolling. You also see the way they have looked to write Greeks and Armenians out of this history of Turkey since the Ottomans took over shows that genocide is not just the killing of people but the erasure of culture. It seems to me that Turkey cannot accept that these cultures survive or that they have these histories that don’t align with the idea of a Turkish state in Asia Minor. To me this is so weird and self defeating and that Ottoman culture was so great because of the different cultures that existed in it. After all its civil service and army was mainly taken from children of Balkan or Caucasian origin. the empire went from almost Vienna to Sudan and from North Africa to Persia and up into what is now southern Russia!

After the museum we started walking the quite long distance back to the city center. We went to a car boot sale that was on our way which was interesting but with nothing we could feasibly get even if we wanted to. We got stuck on the side of these massive roads that really are the bane of Yerevan and Tbilisi. Transcaucasia the land of 6 lane roads We were quite hungry by this point and got a cheeky KFC as we were walking past it.

We then went to the national history museum of Armenia which was great. It had amazing stone tools from Homo Erectus and early man, including the shoe from the cave! And some great obsidian tools. It then had amazing pottery and stone friezes from early Armenian culture and from Christian and medieval Armenia. It had some items that they had managed to save from Ani which were taken to eastern Armenia as the Genocide and Young Turks took Kars Province.

After that we went for dinner near the apartment in a place called Caucasian kitchen, Nin had her perfect dinner of effectively chicken porridge and I had a lovely soup and some meatballs nd we had home made wine for a quid a glass which was pretty good. At the apartment I finally finished her side of the story which was good but very long, I have my book on Central Asia to finish next and then I have the new Tessa Hadley on pre-order.

[jupiter-reimagined]

Shadow is such a good guard dog despite not even being a dog. He just follows Charlie on the walk and will move Charlie in another direction if he notices an animal is nearby.

Kali asks how the walk went when they're both back inside, giving Charlie a glass of water while he refills Shadow's water bowl.

i feel like charlie would just randomly sit down on the grass somewhere and catch his breath. hes not used to really going out in general, let alone in the woods, so hes a little freaked out and out of breath because he was basically running the whole time

so. what was meant to be a quick 30 min thing just ends up being 2 or 3 hours, because he got distracted by everything around him. hes trying to remember/recognize all the birds he hears

he would almost scream when seeing a deer up close and personal on accident. thats when he decides its time to go home

shadow service dog wolf arc fr /j

[vamosaespana]

Hola Barcelona!

Rise and shine it’s 9:30 😮 Waking up and realizing how late it was, was a shocker. Can’t remember the last time I slept that late. The kids were off and on with sleep and poor 1 had been up since 5 but nevertheless we must continue and use every moment we have. We all got ready and headed out the door for some brunch and sightseeing. It was uber balmy in our apartment…still haven’t figured out the air conditioner situation (feeling this whole temp thing may be a running theme through these next two weeks ���) but once you stepped outside the sun was out but the breeze definitely kept you cool…we’ll take it!

We find a place called Berry Brunch Breakfast and after looking at the menu it had things everyone liked…that’s a win when you have 5! Super cute place and we were able to eat outside. We enjoyed people watching, dog watching and just in general talking about things. Our biggest discussion is how 1’s Spanish teacher would always play Spanish music in class and say that’s what it sounds like in Spain. Hate to break it to him but it seems like Spain held onto the 90s and never let go…I went crazy when “Believe it or not” came on and rocked out in my best mom fashion to my children’s horror💀 Food came and everything was delicious! 3 ordered biscotti pancakes that literally tasted like you were eating a biscotti. GB had Nutella pancakes which one can never go wrong. I had a croissant with chicken and avocado and 2 had Avocado toast on bruschetta-like bread that was amazing. 1 ordered huevos rancheros that had this beautiful salsa that melted in your mouth. All in all definitely would recommend the place.

Definitely feeling full, we walked it off heading to the city center to the Picasso Museum for our tour. We had some time to kill because we couldn’t o my arrive 15 min early so strolled the Gaudi style streets and I’m sure totally blended in with the Spaniards 🤣

We then went for our audio tour of the Picasso Museum. I’m a big fan of these tours as we also did this for Pablo Neruda’s house in Chile. You can go at your own pace which is totally my jam as I stop and do everything while my family tends to skip around. So cool to be up close with his art and learn how amazing he was at such a young age…we pointed out paintings that he did at 1 and 2s age. We just looked at them and said “Come on guys…do better 😆” We each found our favorite paintings and just enjoyed being together but on our own at the same time.

Definitely felt like we added a couple notches to our “cultured” belt after that one. We then split ways, GB and the kids headed back home to change for church. I, on the other hand, was already church ready and headed for a solos tour of The Carhedral of Barcelona. What an amazingly beautiful church inside and out. It also had a tour of the roof top of the church where you could see a 360 view of Barcelona.

So nice to enjoy the serenity of it all and say prayers of thanks for this trip even being possible.

We, as a family, then went to mass in Spanish. They are very much sticklers for how church dress should be. No bare shoulders and if you didn’t have anything you could pay 3 Euros for a shawl to wear while inside. We were prepared of course with a lot of push back from 2 as she found no need to wear a long dress with shoulders covered. She tried to play the “I’m going to do what I want” card by lowering her shoulders to the sides of her arm but was quickly and quietly corrected by staff during mass. I happily gave the mom smile to myself and she did not argue again the rest of mass. I personally like the view of getting back to looking nice for mass. You don’t have to dress in black tie but something nice I feel is respectful and goes a long way to how you carry and present yourself. Feeling more and more at home around here 😁 I was surprised how I could follow along and understand a majority of it but boy did my head hurt from paying such close attention 😵‍💫 so may need to still do some brushing up for when I fully relocate myself here ☺️

We left church with hearts full but stomachs were on E! We found a place close to our home and enjoyed a nice family meal together. We laughed and were slightly on the loud side…or maybe that was just my laugh🤣 I like to think that the waitress enjoyed our company as she laughed many a time around us. So much so that we were gifted 2 shots of limoncello. We let the kids sip and quickly realized we should have had our cameras on the ready…safe to say we may not have to worry just yet about alcohol! GB and I took our shots as the kids poked fun at mom having a glass of wine and a shot and that I may need help walking home.

We ended the night with winding down in each others company at the apartment while listening to Spain win against Georgia in the Eurocup. Loved hearing the area erupt with cheers when goals were scored and heard fireworks go off at the end of the game. Ups and downs were had I mean how could they not as each of us have our own personality but at the end of the day all were smiling so I count that as a win.

[omsdoortodoor]

Door to Door Challenge Departure Date minus 22 weeks

Ian’s week

Gravel

It’s been a busy week but not much cycling.

I managed to get out and cycle the Uplowman loop in dry but windy conditions. Each training cycle ride is show on the just giving page

Bike No 3 is very dirty and needs a clean plus the gears need a bit of adjustment, I’ll have to look at my bike maintenance books or maybe just have a play with them.

I could do with a bike stand which makes life easier really but will manage without.

This week coming I hope to get out for two or three rides but will have to look for an alternative route.  They are resurfacing some of the lanes round here with gravel.  It will be great in a month’s time, when all the loose bits have gone but never fun to ride on when first laid.

Maybe a route round Culmstock & Uffculme which means crossing the ‘Great Divide’, the A38! 

We thought this might be a good week to introduce our two other crew members, Tarka (on the left) and Belle.

Belle is our six year-old Welsh Spaniel and Tarka is our 12 year-old Cocker, although we have only had him for 18 months.

They will be accompanying us on the whole challenge.  They are pretty good at travelling but I am wondering how squashed we will be in the campervan – particularly as Tarka likes to creep on to the bed, followed shortly by Belle.

So, this week started in Burnham on Sea.  Fabulous to be parked up, for free, in a road that was right next to the beach.  And first thing we had an amazing walk along the sand which resulted in very sandy dogs.  Still getting used to Celeste, but there are two things to add to the packing list:

The cordless handheld hoover (note to self - I need to check about charging en-route too)

A dog drying bag - courtesy of Pawdaw of London

Obviously not our dogs in the photo (watch this space). It would be great to just zip them up in one of these for 30 mins and hey presto! dry dogs and all sand contained in the bag ready to be shaken out later. Our two are going to look so cute in them.

Jane’s week

Food

We had lunch with friends who went to great length to make sure that all the food we ate complied with the OMS programme.  The OMS programme comprises of a number of pillars; Diet, Vitamin D, Physical Activity, Stress Management and Meditation, Medication (when recommended), Family Health and the final pillar is Change Your Life For Life.

The diet pillar does not fit any of the popular names you hear, such as keto, pescetarian or even vegan.  It was created from on research focused on people with MS.  It’s a bit like a modified Mediterranean diet, and some of you will have heard me say, for simplicity, “I am vegan + fish”.  It is more complicated than that.  It is plant based with fish and low saturated fat, but there are certain cooking methods that we avoid.

We refer to the NOVA groups for food processing scale, which has four categories:

Group 1 - Unprocessed or minimally processed foods

Group 2 - Processed culinary ingredients

Group 3 - Processed foods

Group 4 - Ultra-processed food and drink products

We avoid group 4 – Ultra-processed food and drink products, with occasional exceptions.  At home, Ian follows this eating programme with me, which makes it so much easier.  And so day to day, we can comply 100% with this programme.  This means that when we are eating with friends, or travelling, there is some room for the occasional exception.  A really good example of this is when we are travelling.  If we need to pick up lunch on the go, even a vegan ready-made sandwich or wrap would be out of bounds.  Luckily none of the foods cause an allergic reaction or ‘cause’ my MS. But there is evidence to show that following all the pillars of the programme reduces deterioration in mobility by 50%.  So while no one can be 100% all of the time, that is a massive incentive to follow it as much as possible.

If anyone is interested in knowing more about the eating programme, here’s a link to the website:

The HOLISM study has generated over 15 research papers published in top peer-reviewed medical journals, such as Frontiers in Neurology, PLOS ONE<, BMC Neurology and BMC Psychiatry.  If anyone is interested in the research the link is here:

 

Following this OMS programme has made me explore different food options and a few weeks ago I went on a Vegan Cheese Making course, run by the owner of Kinda Co.  I can now made vegan Ricotta, soft cream cheese, Mozzarella, fondu and cheddar.

One of my side effects of MS is neurological pain, pain that your usual paracetamol does not touch.  So having gone to bed pain free, on Monday night, I woke on Tuesday at 4.30am in excruciating pain in my right thigh.  Firstly, I just tried to zone out of it – but no joy.  So, after two hours I decided to use a mindfulness meditation session.  I chose a 20-minute body scan technique, which also incorporated an element of breathing exercises.  Thankfully it helped, but sometimes it can be so difficult to pinpoint why I should just wake up in pain.

I have a little confession to make.  On the same ferry we bought the Velo En France book mentioned in an earlier episode, I also bought this.

There are a few places listed in the book which are directly on our route.  I thought it might be fun, the water should be warmish in September and the dogs will love it. And of course I will have these super-duper drying bags.  Now, truth be told, I am not a strong swimmer so I do not know if my swimming will be up to this.  Since January I have trying to find someone, somewhere who gives 1-1 lessons to adult swimmers.  Four months later, I have finally found someone.  So, this week, I have booked 1-1 lessons and a group crash course to improve swimming stroke all happening in May.  The final part of that jigsaw will be building up my strength.  But, more on that another week.

I am not putting my weekly table up this week, because for a variety of reasons there are 2 days when I have just had such a different routine and two days when I have really not been great, that the figures would be meaningless.  However, my little table will be back next week. 

But what I forgot to say in last weeks blog, was that in preparation for our Easter weekend away, I had to collect the leisure battery for Celeste.  It is double the size of your normal car battery and we reckon it weighed 25 lbs.  I picked it up from the ground, carried it and put it in the back of the car.  (I then left it in the boot of the car for Ian to take our once he got home, deciding that I had done my strength training for the day). So I was very proud of myself for doing that.  And that’s the funny thing about my MS.  On some days I am completely amazing.

[middleagerunblog]

XXXII.

So I'm going to try it. I am going to plan what I will eat for the week.

Before we bought groceries for the week, I wrote down on piece of paper what I will eat for each meal and snack, Mon-Sun.

We have been doing better with meal prep for family dinners, already planning out Mon-Thu dinner. I stuck those on our shared family Google calendar.

So all I had to do was plan out the rest of my day Mon-Thu, then do so thinking about what I'd/we'd eat Fri-Sat.

Weekend plans are still a little up in the air so I planned what I could, thinking there could be some timing/location tweaks, but that could easily be sorted later. I wrote it in pencil on the sheet of paper anyway.

It's enough food. I made considerations for my more difficult runs, ensuring I was properly fueled. If I eat the food I wrote down on my sheet of paper at the times I wrote down that I'd eat it, it would be a good week.

Before bed on Sunday night, I input Monday's plan on my Google calendar. Family dinner was already on there. I'm not going to eat breakfast, thus it was just lunch at noon and a snack at 3p, not like this was a whole lot of effort. Well, I also added "last drink" at 8:30p to make sure I didn't have water too late.

Here's how it went...

The morning went how mornings go when I have to work from home and drive my youngest to school. Up at 5a, coffee, reading, YouTube. Off the couch at 5:45a to brush my teeth, wash my face, get my running clothes on. Out the door at 6a for an easy pace 4 mi run. Return home in time to wash my face again, change my clothes and drive my son to school, drinking my 2nd cup of coffee while doing so. Return home to start reviewing work emails, before walking the dog and taking a shower. Work all morning, drink a Corkcicle tumbler worth of ice water while doing so. Start to prepare lunch at 10 min before noon because I'm hungry and I want to be putting food in my mouth at noon on the dot.

Lunch. Heat olive oil in a pan on the stove. Add about a third of a package worth of baby spinach. While that starts to cook, I plate a serving of chicken on a plate to ensure I don't overeat because that's what I wrote in my calendar that I would do. Add the chicken to the pan, sprinkle everything bagel season, let cook for a few minutes. Put it all in a large bowl. Wow, it looks small, I know I've been eating too much. Add salsa and a reasonable amount of shredded cheese, again because that's what I wrote that I'd do. The amount of cheese appears to be less than half of what I had been doing. Finish eating and I'm still hungry. I likely underestimated. Went to the pantry and found the last few slices of Dave's Killer Bread, rye. Look at the label. 110 calories per slice. Decide one was a good audible. Scarf it down.

Third and final cup of coffee of the day at 1p. I think the coffee helped because my hunger subsided. I noticed the time at 2:45, realizing my afternoon snack was scheduled for 3p and I wasn't super hungry for it.

But not not-hungry enough to skip it. I had written down apple and/or 1/4-1/2 cup unsalted mixed nuts. Best believe I opted for the 'and' and the 1/2 cup. Water with it of course. Sipping ice water all afternoon out of my Corkcicle. I ate the apple first because I don't like apples as much as mixed nuts. I haven't eaten an apple that thoroughly and comprehensively in a long time, if ever. I savored the mixed nuts. This satiated me for a bit as I noticed the time just before 4p, and was still feeling good. But I was starting to worry about dinner prep. We skipped our typical Sunday meal prep, opting for 5p meal prep for Mon-Thu dinners, then eating our Monday dinner at 6p. It would likely take a lot of willpower not to snack during the meal prep process.

Well, I made it until dinner, we started meal prepping around 5:30, we had one ready at 6p and ate that. It was a sweet and spicy broiled chicken and veggies recipe that we added brown rice to. It was good. I plated my serving and ate a reasonable amount. We continued meal prepping, I felt myself getting hungry, so I added 4 squares of 70% cocoa dark chocolate.

By 7p I was done eating for the day. Only added the slice of bread and the dark chocolate to what I planned. Calling it a success, an A- day. Type this blog post then open up Google calendar to input the next day's meals.