#i was gonna go to the movies for discount movie day but fuck im so tired man i don't have it in me

[bunnyb34r]

Yeah didn't get to do the new leggings OR the shit I threw in a box to deal with later (not like they sell on the table anyway)

But I did get my endcap reset and the new shit isn't a pain in the ass to recover and restock

The overnight girl was back so my area was recovered! Even the NikeShitë! Even though she did them... all wrong... like infuriatingly wrong...

But I didn't have time to deal with that shit anyway bc my endcap took all fucking day

And then I had to cram like 6 boxes under NewLady's table bc I have NO ROOM at all and I actually put shit behind shit unlike her who only puts one row of boxes so it LOOKS like shes full but shes not. Cram that shit bitch. Anyway she's gonna have to deal bc we have the same number of items just different VOLUMES of it like 30 items per section is normal, but say I get ~200 stock and she gets ~900 stock per item. She can put shit in the steel or under her FOUR GIANT TABLES I get one. Just one. So fuck you it's called working with other people and being a team. I didnt say shit all the times NetflixCoworker needed to put shit in my table space when I actually had room.

From what I've seen, the new leggings are kinda cute. The Sharter's stuff is like "cute strawberry and cherry outfit" (too cute), "pretty blue outfit", "UGLIEST FUCKING FLORAL YOUVE EVER SEEN outfit" like 😭 every goddamn time they throw one ugly floral like come on... no one wants these stop...

[madsmilfelsen]

hi mads hope you dont mind random advice anons

i think youve mentioned that you dont live where you grew up anymore maybe??

got any advice for making friends as an adult/homebody

from the type of person who could just read and craft alone forever but knows they probably shouldn't

First of all, I never mind and I like getting anons :)))) sorry I didn’t answer this yesterday but I’m gonna bum ya out lmao I moved 50 times before I turned 12 when my mama married a man in the navy and promptly sent us across the country, I’ve never lived where I grew up— always the new kid, I didn’t really socialize correctly to develop the skills to make friends so yeah okay let’s talk about now… ish— I moved to the upper Midwest 11 years ago next month with my husband who I met in Alaska, known stuff, we lived with his parents for a few years because we couldn’t afford to contract our house to built, my husband did it himself (directly behind my in laws, people are always like omg?? like no no no they are my parents they dote on me I love them kids can ride their bikes to grandmas it’s the perfect set up and maintains a thousand mile+ between me and my parents)

So my husband built me a house that I fucking HATE leaving, that I have not left for more than a few days at a time until we went back to Alaska this summer. I have an office with all of beading/writing/school stuff, my favorite snacks, my dogs, I don’t even want to leave my property most days— I get it! Unfortunately to make friends and connections, especially locally, you have to leave the house. I’m not much of a drinker so I don’t got to bars all that often but I did attend my lil community college forever (bc kids) so I mainly made friends with my instructors because I’m a teachers pet for life, but I also tutored and made a few friends to at least chat with in class— otherwise I try to go to our small local events, an open house in the native studies dept. at the university im attending now, women’s night out (first day of hunting seasons and the shops give crazy discounts when our husbands are gone, the only time misogyny ever got me 75% off candles tbh), I went to two beerfests recently (tbh I oozed thc day out of my pores those days or packed rum and cokes, im not vice free here), nature trails, coffee shops, history talks, ballet studio, writing workshops at the library, old movies playing at the historical theater— if there’s something out there that sounds interesting, do it because you’ll likely find someone to strike a conversation up with and that’s all you need— if you happen to have kids the best thing I’ve done is make friends with other moms, especially if our kids get along

When feasible the best alternative is to go and meet the cool friends you made online, those are some of my favorite trips, and ski jumps are coming up so it’s going to be time where I start trying lure people to my very rural neck of the woods to participate in some honest love for physics defying sports day drinking

That being said it took me like ten years to leave my house but I finally have friends with routines in place, I have a weekly breakfast date and monthly girls dinner etc, or a group we can have side by side rides with— but a lot of that goes back to some of these people knowing my husband their entire lives lmao

[lesbicosmos]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!!

saw @celestialcrowley did this and it looked fun!! im pausing writing my current WIP for this

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

as of right now, 27 but i have another 3 currently in the works (dead boy detectives has turned my brain into fanfic soup and i love it)

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

89,795 (what the fuck how did i do that)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

currently only working on dead boy detectives ones but ive also written dead poets society, merlin, good omens, doctor who and supergirl

4. top 5 by kudos?

the great petname debacle of '24 (dead boy detectives) - 398

it feels real to me now, it felt real to me then (dead boy detectives) - 354

hope that you're good to me, baby (supergirl) - 292

'cause it was always you, alright (dead boy detectives) - 228

we should just kiss like real people do (good omens) - 166

5. do you respond to comments?

yes!! i try to respond to all of them because they're so good, there's no better feeling than an ao3 comment notification <33

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably either the last one i wrote, where did i go wrong? i lost a friend (dead boy detectives, post-canon) or no grave can hold my body down (a really niche dead poets society / afterlove au) but neither of them are Angsty, i don't write a lot of angst lmao

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of my others lmao, currently id say it feels real to me now, it felt real to me then but that's just because it's a recent one that i remember writing the ending of

8. do you get hate on fics?

i don't think i ever have

9. do you write smut?

no, i tried once when i wrote my supergirl fic but it was shit so i scrapped that part 😭

10. craziest crossover?

i guess the dead poets / afterlove one but it's also my Only crossover soooo

i tend to think about crossovers more than i write them lol, like me and @latin-8-o-clock-my-room had a whole conversation the other day about a potential dead boy detectives / six of crows crossover which was fun

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

no but i think that would be so cool, i love that it's a thing that happens to make fics more accessible to people

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

not exactly co-written but the dialogue in one of my merlin fics was based off a conversation me and a friend had late at night once where i swear we got possessed by merlin and arthur

so if that counts then yeah i guess? but i was the one who wrote it up so semi-cowritten ig

14. all time favourite ship

no ♥️

i simply cannot choose an all time favourite, current fav is definitely charles and edwin from dead boy detectives though

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

there was a merlin one i started that i still love the idea of so much, everything you've done...i know now, where arthur relives his and merlin's past while in avalon so he saw everything merlin had done for him, but idk if ill get around to finishing it :/

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and descriptions of emotions, and fluff

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i feel like i can't write a detailed kiss scene to save my life

also descriptions of actions

18. thoughts on dialogue in another language?

confusing question, idk. if it fits the plot it's fine ig but if it's random...why? i have no idea how to answer this

19. first fandom you wrote for

discounting the harry potter fics i wrote when i was like 11 because no one wants to see that, i think the first main fic i wrote was for IT, the horror movie 😭

20. favourite fic you've written so far?

currently probably 'cause it was always you, alright because i had so much fun writing it and people seem to be liking it

not gonna tag anyone specific but this was rly fun lol

[limborooster]

going to spit out my thoughts here pardon me

i’m irrationally afraid my cats will forget me and not like me anymore while i’m off living in a dorm fr two years and then when i can move off campus and they can live with me they won’t like it

i’m rationally afraid that my elderly cat will die while i’m 2.5 hours away at school and even if i leave for home immediately when my mom tells me his body will be cold when i arrive

he’s in decently good health for a 15 year old but my one cat spontaneously died when i was younger and now i’m paranoid

i was super sick today from my covid booster and i can tell i’m getting better because i am incredibly hungry and have a very strong urge to go outside and to sew

unfortunately it is 2:30 am

i hope my school does movie character day during a spirit week again this year because i want to show off my improved spock closet cosplay

i wish that fur didn’t take 400 years to ship from howl and fs supplies because i want to sew so bad

also fursuit making is hard wtf it’s very frustrating

hopefully it’s worth it

today i discovered my love for vegetable stock

this is good news because i hate most soups

i’m so excited my parents are going to help me make a resume because i finally got my working papers and i’m going to apply to joann!!! employee discount + talking to people about their cool projects + old ladies + moms + crochet girlies + furries + stocking shelves i am so excited

it’s all i’ve ever dreamed of

i used to live nearby our joann

i’m scared to go to college because they don’t have my regular grocery store there

fuck you capital region why don’t you have wegmans i need wegmans i don’t want to choose between whole foods and price chopper

the nearest ones to there (albany) are literally MY hometown wegmans and one in fuckin massachusetts which are both ~2 hours away

unreal

also you can’t have a microwave in your dorm

so

yeah

it’s worth it though everything else is so good

combined bachelors masters program

no corridor style dorms (no communal bathrooms)

indescribably awesome student groups and clubs there’s so much cool stuff and they’re so well run

very easily walkable and centralized campus while still being aesthetically pleasing

dog mascot.

my mommy goes there !!!! she takes online classes but still they’re at albany

so i’m at the same school as my mom

also i’m just now realizing in commonapp i put no relatives have attended but she probably counts. stupid i guess i didn’t think about it because it was phrased in past tense and she is currently attending

i am not very bright sometimes

i have to get a rec letter for a scholarship about why i’d be good for the socio program

i think i’ll ask my former philosophy teacher because that is the most relevant i guess

all the other ones i have good relationships with are stem teachers

which is weird because i’m better at humanities and stuff

i guess i’ve just had bad luck with humanities teachers

i also guess that’s not really true i typically enjoy social studies more with individual study rather than at school because my school doesn’t offer very good classes

whereas i’ve had great science and math classes and i have fun at school with those

i need to go to sleep but i took a five hour nap today so i’m not tired

idk what to get people for christmas

it always sneaks up on me like this

idek what i want for christmas

i have chest hair now

i think it’s been filling in for a while but i’m noticing it now

as time passes i love my body more and more

can’t wait until next year i can be flat

shit i have to tell my mom to contact the psych eval people to get on the waitlist for my surgery approval

balls

i will be so attractive

my sister is taking me to get a tattoo with her this spring for a belated birthday present (because i will be 18 in january)

oh also im gonna start practicing for my road test to get my license

all i have to do is not suck at parallel parking and then i can finally drive myself to school and not have to bother my poor parents with it

and go home for lunch!!!!

and go to the store whenever i want to!!!!

and surprise my gf by dropping things off at her house and driving her places !!! yay !!!

oh my little subaru outback that was my dads car for several years and smells like mold because he left the sunroof open and it rained inside the car how i love you

freshmen aren’t allowed to have cars on campus at albany but we’re gonna cheat the system and get a parking pass in my moms name because she’s a student

and obviously doesn’t need it bc she attends online

i want to put fake grass on the floor

so sad i can’t do it on the drivers side because like .. pedals

but i can do it everywhere else

i can do whatever i want to this car because i will use it until it’s only good for salvage

i think about the one episode of star trek where data makes a child and she develops feelings and she says i love you and he says i wish i could feel it with you

feel that

because i feel like my romantic and general affectionate drive is so low compared to normal

idk i don’t understand myself

it’s not that i don’t feel things

i feel very deep love and reverence for many things

i think that maybe i shut down and so my feelings get hidden

oh yeah guys don’t get divorced when your child is turning 11 because they will be irreparably damaged

this is a little bit exaggeratey because mostly the problem was there was a lot of lies and deception along with the complicated emotions that come with being on the verge of understanding and not understanding how marriage and love and affairs and adulthood work and also having your reverence for your parents shattered very suddenly rather than a nice steady realization that they are not superhuman

i need to investigate that trauma a little more i think

it’s 3 now

i wanted to just go to sleep asap but now i’ve gotten to the point where i’m so hungry i’m nauseated so i have to eat

man

now my sleeping and eating schedules are off

stupid vaccine

at least they work this is objectively better than covid but still god damn

probably it’s worse because i got a flu shot at the same time but gahhhh

alright i wanted pasta but the only stuff we have is this chickpea based penne

which i love chickpeas but i’ve never tried this so idk

also i felt bad having the light on with my parents upstairs so i’m cooking by the light of the stove burner it’s so cozy

reminds me of last april when we had no power for five days

no cell service no wifi no heat no running water no lights and no leaving the house bc my mom had covid

we used snowmelt to flush the toilets

so lucky for our gas stove bc we could light it with matches and boil water to clean ourselves and heat up food

i read the whole fazbear frights series in those days

school was closed bc the school had no power but once it reopened we still didn’t so i got to skip for a day

it was a lot of fun except i got cystic acne from not being able to shower properly for five days as a sweaty testosterone man

it’s raining out and my cat has joined me this is so cozy

ok the pasta feels a bit weird but it’s sooooo good with butter and salt (don’t have sauce)

i’m back in bed watching the episode of star trek

why is picard sometimes so forward thinking and sometimes such a dickhole

even after watching through the whole series i can’t tell if i really like him or not

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for spending Halloween with Peter and Ned

Peter Parker/Ned Leeds x reader

warnings:

a/n:💕

prompt: anonymous: “If it's not too much to ask could you do headcanons for spending Halloween with Ned Leeds and Peter Parker? Hope you have an awesome day”

“IT’S FUCKING SPOOKY SEASON”

“y/n’s here”

“yep”

halloween was so exciting with them!

you insisted on being spiderman

“no, y/n, you can’t wear any of my old suits”

“please, peter! im begging you”

you were so close to getting him to crack

but you bought your own cheap spider-man costume

ned was a sith lord

“which lightsaber should i use? my darth vader one? or the custom-built one? or my deluxe one? the walmart one? maybe my dueling saber?”

“ned stop flexing”

peter, exactly like this: SHAHGSGSGSGSHHSFV

may wanted to have a halloween party with peter’s friends and happy

“honestly, may? that’s the best idea ever i will help with everything if i have to”

“you think so? wow, y/n, we need to have you over more often. you’re the only one who supports me in this household”

🙃 -peter

“guys, we have to make this one count! i think we should trick or treat in liz’s old neighborhood”

“ned, no! do you want to see peter cry his halloween makeup off?”

peter went as batman but you wanted to make him look perfect so you put SO much eyeliner on him

“i look like mr. barnes”

“if i ever meet him i’m telling him you said that”

“DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?!”

there was almost no point in going out for the night just bc may had made so many halloween snacks

chocolate covered pretzels with sprinkles, those AMAZING walmart pumpkin cookies, “spooky” root beer floats (she just drew faces on red solo cups), and healthy snacks!!!

“the scariest thing here is the celery” -ned

*grabs celery* “anything is a weapon if you try hard enough”

“y/n, put it down!”

parading around in your halloween costumes out and about until may was 100% done with her halloween stuff

“let’s go get MJ!”

“you think?” -peter

“yeah, she’ll hate this, it’ll be fun”

mj slammed to door on you guys

“we should try again”

she came back out dressed as the devil and she seemed very content with her choice

“so what’s the plan”

“peter’s aunt is having a party, spider-friends only”

“wow, y/n, say that a little louder, why don’t you?” -peter

going back to the apartment where you watched the shining and ate all of the snack may so kindly offered

peter was blocking his eyes for half the movie

“really, peter? you’ve never seen this movie before?” -happy

“too scary”

you handed him a pillow to hold onto

mj was fucking thriving over here

“can i have another pretzel?”

“of course you can!” -may

mj had to go home and may went to be early and happy left but you and ned were spending the night at peter’s cuz it was the right thing to do

you ended up falling asleep at 5am following hours of watching ghost stories and peter not being able to sleep after that

“peter, aren’t you like, a superhero? what’s a ghost gonna do to you?”

“ghosts belong to a different plane of existence, i’m completely helpless to them. don’t fall asleep before me”

the next morning afternoon, peter, you, and ned rushed to the store to get as much discount candy as you could acquire and split it amongst yourselves

“this halloween has been a success, i look forward to what next year has to bring”

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedgiant // @emygirl // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisbisexual // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //

[chubbyjungkook]

Maybe i like it

It was a winter evening where Jungkook and his mother were waiting for Jungkook's childhood best friend and his crush  .Jimin had moved to Seoul since he was a teenager leaving jungkook in busan , they kept in touch after that so much year . Jungkook was moving with jimin after being accepted in university and jimin offered to move to his flat .

Jimin arrives running , even though they videocall pretty often jungkook couldn't help but staring at jimin's face , he always thought jimin was handsome but now he looks gorgeous . 

"I'm sorry for being late , the traffic was terrible , good evening jungkookie and mrs. Jeon '' he bowed and smile warmly at them 

"Oh god , jimin you change a lot since the last time i saw you , you are all grown up " mrs. Jeon chuckle while looking at jimin

"We both did , it's been so long since jimin hyung left "jungkook say the last part with a really fake sad tone making jimin laugh as he brush the younger's hair 

" well , just come here to leave jungkookie and my train leaves in 20 minutes " she sigh turning back to his son and hugging him tightly , jungkook hugged her back " Please jungkookie take care,ok ? Don't skip meals and sleep early , ok ? And don't forget to call home often " 

"I will mom , don't worry " his mom pull away from the hug and look at him grabbing his hand " I let jungkook come to seoul because i know you are going to take care of him and if you can try to put some meat on his bones , no matter how hard i try to tell him to stop exercising so much and skipping meals he just ignore me he is really stubborn " she laugh seeing her son look indignant expression 

"I'm not stubborn , mom ! " he pouts, offended , jimin laughs, " don't worry mrs. Jeon i will take care care of him and make sure he eats well " 

After Jungkook's mom left , Jimin helped the younger with his luggage as they looked for a taxi talking about things and how excited Jungkook was about his first day . The journey was really short when they arrive they were really tired 

"Oh man , i'm so tired " he yawns while sitting in the sofa " i can show you your room so you can unpack your things and get comfy " jungkook nodded taking his luggage with him , the room was clean and warm " this room look so comfy hyung " jimin smile at him " im glad you like it , im gonna order some food im sure you are hungry i call you when it arrives " jungkook hummed as he started unpacking his clothes 

Jungkook unpacked some all of his clothes and change his jeans into some sweatpants and a oversized black t-shirt , he went to the living room and jimin was putting the food on the coffee table 

"Oh jungkookie , i was about to call you to have dinner come on sit down " jungkook did at he was told while looking at all the food 

"Hyung isn't it a bit too much for just the two of us ?" There was a lot of food in the coffee table : 3 boxes of pizza,chips,chicken and coke its was a lot for just two people 

" I got a good discount , we can save what we can't finish for tomorrow, '' he answered softly. Jungkook shrugged satisfied with the older man's answer , he grabbed a slice of pizza and shoved it in his mouth , they were watching a film while eating .

When he movie was ending , jungkook squirmed uncomfortable he was so focused on the movie that he doesn't realize he had eaten almost all the food , there was still some slices of the last pizza and some coke in the coffee table and a lot of wrapped too 

" you can have the rest of the pizza if you want " jimin say as he push the box closer to the younger  

"You don't want it ? I'm full hyung " jungkook rub his swollen tummy trying to ease the pressure on his stomach 

"Nah , im full too " he lied , in fact  he just ate two slices of pizza and some coke " but you have a big appetite , i'm sure you can't fit the rest of the food in there " he poked jungkook's tummy , laughing when he saw the younger's cheeks blushed 

Jungkook  grab the slice of pizza and start eating it when he finish the rest of the pizza he was lean back in the sofa , his belly was really swollen and it hurts , the waistline of his sweatpant were cutting painfully into his tummy, he whined in discomfort , he feel like he was gonna pop , he try to rub his belly to stop the discomfort even tho it didn't help that much . 

"Are you ok , kookie ?? " when jungkook see his hyung face , his eyes were full of concern 

"I-i just eat t-too much "he blushed fuck he doesnt even know who he managed that much his belly groan in discomfort 

“oh kookie ...do you want me to help ?” Jungkook doesn't know how jimin would help him but he nodded , jimin lift him and put him on his lap and started rubbing his belly. The older´s hands feel good  easing the pain. He closed his eyes on pleasure ? 

He suddenly burped loudly when Jimin pressed a hard spot on his belly . His cheeks blushed too embarrassed to look at his hyung , he would probably be disgusted but jimin unbothered continued rubbing his belly he burped a few more times when the pressure on his gut stopped and it became a warm and enjoyable sensation it was confused but he really enjoyed it .

" do you feel better, Kookie ? " jimin ask on a soft tone his thumb tracing back and forth gently

" y-yeah , thank you hyung" he try tried to avoid his voice from being shaky, failing pathetically

"How about you go and rest ? I can't clean all of this don't worry " his soft expression towards him , he gets up and helps jungkook to get up too 

" ok , thanks hyung , good night " he smile softly at him 

" night kookie "he waved smiling him back 

Jungkook waddled slowly to his room ,he changed into his pajamas and he saw himself in the mirror looking at his swallow belly. He pressed his finger on it , it was still kinda hard from all the food . Fuck he had really overdid it , he had never eating so much and the thing that freak him out the most was the fact that he actually enjoy it , the warm feeling on his middle was almost pleasurable . He shakes his thought off and lying on his bed rubbing his belly until he feel asleep 

------------------------

The following weeks Jimin made sure Jungkook was being well-feed , making sure that he always had food near him and after all of those weeks of indulging some chances were seen on the younger's body .He had gain a noticeable amount of weight on this time , his adbs melted on a proud belly , his once muscular thighs were now thicker , rubbing each other when he walk , his cheeks had get chubbier making him look cute . Also his appetite had grow and jimin make sure he handle him some snack while he was doing homework 

Jungkook wasn't blind about his obvious weight gain which at the beginning was surprising since in his whole life he was fit but suddenly he gain so much weight but then he realized maybe he like how softer he had gotten or how much he liked the pleasure feeling when he is stuff to the brim

But jimin was also liking the younger´s changes , he had always been touchy with  jungkook but lately he couldn't stop himself from hugging or touching discretely his tights or just pinching his cheeks , he was just so cute and sexy for his own sake 

-------------------------

That morning jungkook had a class in the afternoon and he was currently struggling to pass his jeans from his knees ,getting out breath just by the small action but he finally manage to do so but now he had a new problem his plush tummy was getting on the way making it difficult to button his jeans , he sighs loudly as he started trying to button it when he hear the older knock the door 

"Come in " he answer as he continue trying to button the jeans 

"Kookie , are you ok ? "He ask in concern as his cheeks blushed at the younger on a way too tight jeans and his tummy making it hard to close them 

"Yeah , i'm just trying to close this jeans but it's so difficult " he mumbled as he sighs again 

"Can i help you , kookie ? " he says as he got closer to the younger as he saw jungkook nod " suck your belly in , it might more easier that way "the younger did was he was told struggling a bit but the older notice so he button the younger's jeans as quickly as he can watching the younger smile 

" Thanks for helping me hyung " he smiles trying to ignore how tight his pants feel as he sits down on his bed to put his shoes on when he hears a loud pop , he looks down realizing that he had popped the button making him blush madly feeling amazed about the fact that he got fat enough to pop a button but at the same way he feeling scared that the older feel disgusted by him  . 

The older eyes widened as his cheeks blushed too realizing how much weight jungkook had gain that he popped a button , there was a pregnant silent between them as the younger feel like he would break into tears if jimin doesnt say something but luckily he did 

He hope he wasn't reading the younger wrong but he always notice the way jungkook "discreetly " stared at his body at the mirror and how he enjoy stuffing himself so he decided to say was he always wanted to say to the younger

"Fuck …. Thats hot " he mumbles as got closer to jungkook watching the younger's cheeks blushed madly 

"Y-you think is hot ? "He ask softly blushing even more when he feel the older rubbing his soft tigh making him bite his lip softly

"Of course …. And i'm sure you do too , i haven't miss the way you look at yourself at the mirror or the way you enjoy indulging yourself so much , baby ~" he whispered near the younger's ear as he rubs the younger's tummy softly hearing him gasp in surprise 

"Fuck ,yes i do " he mumbles as he push his tummy against the older's hand 

"God , jungkook i like you since we were on highschool and now fuck you had gotten so soft that i can help my hand to myself " he hear the younger let out a small moan when he squeeze the younger's lovehandles

"I-i … also like you since highschool ,you had gotten more hot since there " he mumbles shyly as he feel jimin leaning forward kissing him passionately after pulling away to catch their breath as they suddenly heard jungkook's belly rumble in hunger making him blushed 

"Looks like someone is hungry already ~ how about you skip classes today and we order some food , uhm ? " he mumbles as he squeeze the younger's cheek 

" i like the idea " he chuckled softly as he saw the older grab his phone and order some fast food 

That night jungkook end up stuffed past his limits as he older rub the younger's tummy, pressing his fingers on it making him blench loudly as jimin mumble soft praises at the younger , jungkook was sure he could get use to it 

[the-flying-urayuli]

alright so im watching inside for the millionth time rn so i decided to write down some thoughts on certain parts of the special

i can already tell this is gonna be personal, also please tag me in your own theories i quite like reading them

white womans instagram: the most beautiful fucking moment in this special, i think its about how we stereotype people harshly without knowing that they all have depth to them, and they have lives as well.

unpaid intern: quite obvious, bo says it himself that the song is taking a twist on old songs about working hard and the labour exploitation of people for corporal benefit. i think also interesting is the part afterwards with the reaction, i think that part is about how you look at your older work that you poured your heart into and just see its shit.

look whos inside again: bo burnham became famous after writing some songs on the internet while he was just a bored guy in his room, the covid pandemic gave him a reason to hide back inside, and never want to leave again

welcome to the internet: ah the internet, where people can become famous or forgotten in seconds. where everyone in the world is rapidly talking around you. you can get away with almost anything as long as it isnt a crime, hell you can get away with some, millions of guys show their dick to strangers each day. everyone you can think of is here, pedophiles and children right next to each other. you can say basically what ever you want and someone will support you. you can see horrific news right next to mums filimg their kids at a festival. misinformation spreads like wildfire and you can destroy a life with a paragraph. hell children see porn and gore here why not. not to mention the mass corporations, showing the internet off as a place where you will be adored by everyone, and that its always been for you. everything is happening, all of the time, the whole world is at your finger tips, but you can destroy it in the process. so basically its about how the internet is so vast and massive and everything is happening at once.

that funny feeling: this’ll be a long part cause i want to sorta look into all or most of the lines in this song, if you want more of them just go to the genius page for the song (https://genius.com/Bo-burnham-that-funny-feeling-lyrics) but this is just my personal interpretation

so on a basis, “the funny feeling” bo is describing is hard to word but its that feeling that “the world is melting apart and we could fix it, but we dont” or “we’ve fucked up everything”. thanks some random reddit user for explaining it to me but ill get into the lyrics

stunning 8k resolution meditation app: in honour of the revolution its half of at the gap (google app store: the revolution was a big event that changes and took the lives on many, and all we do to honour it was give a half off discount.

a gift shop at the gun range a mass shooting at the mall: so im not american but in america, gun violence is everywhere, it takes the lives of so many innocent people every year and every time something viscous happens politicians and the media just go “well ok”, and when confronted about the issue and how we could solve it they just say they cant or they shouldnt. i wanted to stay un political but look at this movie, a lot of it is political

reading pornhubs terms of service: porn and masturbation is something that brings you joy, but at a point it all just feels so numb, nothing brings you emotion anymore and all you can do is feel ashamed, so you sit there and just read the tos cause who even cares anymroe

obeying all the traffic laws in grand theft auto 5: gta is a game you play for thrill and to break shit, but instead youre just sitting there and calming driving along, cause like the other one, things and games you used to enjoy just dont feel the same anymore.

hey what can you say? we were overdue, but itll be over soon, you wait: imo the best line in the special, who cares anymore, we’ve all lived longer than we ever thought we would, but who cares we probably dont have much longer anyway. or its talking about optimistic nihilism where you go “hey we’re all gonna die anyway, lets stop freaking out about everything and just let it wash over us”

all eyes on me: it feels like that one peaceful moment you get in the mess, the eye of the storm. the feeling when you sit there on the floor of your room and look out the window and you just feel still. you stop overthinking everything and all the mess just melts away, just for a little while.

any way yeah peace bye

[angeltrapz]

saw ur post 4 saw asks n im here to deliver!! (also fully gonna answer the one u sent me i just had a busy night 💚) — hmmm would personally love to hear more abt the Matthews-Faulkner-Stanheight-Blank family dynamic? esp maybe Daniel + Art, but rlly just anything u wanna talk abt there! maybe if they have any sorta family traditions, what holidays look like for them, that sorta deal

shfajs tysm!!!! (also tht's totally okay, take yr time!!!)

also oooo I love this question okay. so like u mentioned this when I asked abt what Eric n Daniel's relationship would b like post-trap, but I think it's very very good fr Daniel 2 like. see tht Eric has ppl who love him n who don't mind helping him when he needs it n who are THERE fr him bc again, like you've mentioned, seeing a parent so utterly shattered th way Eric was after his trap is incredibly difficult, esp for a kid (though Daniel is like. at least seventeen? still). knowing tht his dad has a good support system n is surrounded by ppl tht care abt him helps put him at ease bc he knows he can trust Adam n Art. he knows they'll keep Eric safe n tht they'll help him to heal, tht they love him n want 2 see him do well n get better. plus, Daniel knows tht if he needs to talk 2 some1 abt how difficult seeing his dad like tht is, he knows both Adam n Art r there fr him and tht helps a lot. of course, he also has Rigg + maybe Hoffman (until th whole. u know.), but they don't live w Eric. they don't see him every day th way Art n Adam do. that's not 2 say they don't know Eric is struggling, but there is a difference btwn them n Eric's boyfriends. basically, Daniel is very much grateful fr Art + Adam.

I feel like Art wld be VERY good at lending an ear fr when Daniel needs 2 talk. whether that be abt their trap + tht whole experience, Eric's trap n the consequences/rough aftermath, just plain venting, etc.; Art is there 2 listen to them + offer a solution if they want one. most times I think Daniel just wants to b listened to, esp when it comes to what they went thru in the Nerve Gas House - tht's smth they don't feel comfortable discussing w Eric right away fr obvious reasons, but therapy can only do so much. I think th two of them have more in common than they might realize at first, bc hey, Art Killed A Man Because Trevor Was Going To Kill Him If He Didn't, and Daniel Killed A Man Because Xavier Would Have Killed Both Them And Amanda If They Didn't. I feel like Art is like. very reserved abt th details of his first trap + how they affected him (and th second one tbh; it's not smth he vocalizes often at all), but fr Daniel he wld gladly talk abt it if it meant Daniel didn't feel alone. if it meant it could help them, reassure them that hey, it wasn't yr fault, u did what u had to, n I know tht can be hard 2 believe right now n that's okay. u need to process things at yr own pace.

and so Art tells them abt the Mausoleum, bares a part of himself he keeps locked away where he doesn't often give it much thought/actively ignores it. n I think tht's healing fr him too, maybe. there's solace in tht shared experience, as horrible as it was in th moment. 2 know there's someone out there who has even th faintest inkling of what u went thru + what u had to do to survive. of course Daniel relates 2 Adam fr this reason too, but like. Art will use his Lawyer Voice n make sure Daniel understands tht what they did doesn't make them a bad person or confirm tht Jigsaw Was Right And They Deserved It. n tht's rly important fr Daniel 2 hear, esp early on. it's honestly one of th first times Art is truly honest abt his feelings on th matter + the Mausoleum, n it's just. a step tht much closer to healing for both of them.

family traditions!!! they do have a few! in the summer, every sunday they have Daniel w them, Eric Art n Adam go out fr ice cream, even if they get it at the drive thru n eat it in th car bc none of them want 2 be around all th people/sit outside in th muggy weather. it's a good way to get them all out of th house fr a little while, something enjoyable tht doesn't require too much energy or even interaction. it's just smth nice they can do where they're all together n chilling n just enjoying each other's company!

this is mostly a Daniel one but every year around April Fools he just. puts fucking googly eyes on everything. n every time some1 discovers some, it doesn't matter where in th house he is, u can hear him cackle abt it. Adam thinks it's an absolute delight n has assisted on multiple occasions. tht's abt as far as pranks go fr them, bc none of them like surprises like that, but god is it ever hilarious 2 hear Eric frm the kitchen while Art Adam n Daniel r in the living room when he says "I found another one!" while he's looking fr smth in the fridge kjdkfsf.

holidays!! every Christmas they all sit down in th living room n watch a couple of movies w the blankets spread out on th floor w snacks n hot chocolate. the first Christmas following his trap, Eric was sat on th couch between Adam n Art while Daniel chose to sprawl out on th floor, n he just looked around at his boyfriends n his son n the fake pine tree they had all decorated together n he like. needs to take a moment bc this is it. this is all he cld ever want out of life right here. this is a level of peace Eric never knew he wld ever be able to reach after what he went thru fr those six months. n he just sort of presses his face into Art's shoulder n breathes thru it. he doesn't even have to say anything fr Adam n Art to know what he's thinking bc Adam's hand is on his arm n Art's resting his cheek against th top of his head, n he might cry a little, but he's happy. surrounded by th ppl he loves n who love him, love him enough to keep the lights down low n the volume on th television soft, to use subtitles so he doesn't get overwhelmed, Eric realizes he has a home n it's just. oof.

fr Valentine's Day, this one was actually Adam's idea initially: wht they do is take sticky notes n write little affirmations on thm fr each other, n stick thm in places where they'll see it. sometimes Daniel joins in on this one, but usually it's an Art Eric Adam thing. so like it'll be little things, like a note frm Adam telling Eric how proud he is of him, or one from Art letting Adam know he couldn't have had a better best friend, or th one from Eric that thanks th both of thm fr helping him w his rashes + helping him 2 accept tht part of him n start to see it as nothing to be ashamed of. it starts on th first day of February and ends on Valentine's Day itself, n sometimes they get those packs of cards u get fr kids just to write goofy shit on thm to pass back n forth n make each other laugh. they also get th discounted candy!! (Adam steals all th twix bars tho. tht's okay bc Eric likes snickers anyway n Art is fond of reese's peanut butter cups. they share th sweet tarts + conversation hearts!)

Halloween is when they get a big bowl of candy 2 leave on th porch fr the kids who're trick-or-treating while th three of them stay inside (+Daniel sometimes!) n watch some classics, like their Christmas tradition. they Also add in some bad movies 2 mix it up a lil bit bc sometimes u just need a laugh. I am like in Lov w the idea u had abt Eric n Adam sometimes building cozy pillow forts, so they do tht n the three of them just vibe in there n lay together n look n talk. n like it's So Much Fun 2 have ppl to like. discuss movies w while yr watching them! esp when they're ppl who won't be annoyed w u when u wanna share a thought! like Eric n Adam will get into this deep discussion abt horror movie decisions n Art will just lay there n listen bc he loves them so much n loves hearing them get amped up abt things. he'll offer his own two cents if asked too! mostly he listens, but he can definitely contribute.

inevitably at some point, someone's hand ends up in Eric's hair n he's just. asleep not too long after that. usually on someone's shoulder or against their chest, n depending on who's still awake, they either try 2 move to th bedroom or they just sleep in th living room (i.e.: Art will try to convince Eric n Adam to come to bed properly, whereas Adam will just b like "fuck it" n pass out right there. has this led 2 them waking up sore b4? absolutely. but it's like. "we r adults who live w our decisions n this one happened 2 be sleeping on th floor" so.

n then a minor one is on their birthdays, some1 (usually Art, to be completely honest w u) will cook tht person their favourite comfort food fr dinner n they all help make cake/cupcakes/cookies/something dessert-related of their choice. so like Art rly likes brownies, Adam is fond of strawberry jello poke cake, n Eric can make some RLY good carrot cake cupcakes w homemade frosting too. it's just smth fr them to do together + like! it's celebrating! they've all been thru so much hell but they're still here! n that's rly th focus for the three of them. sometimes they have ppl over too - like Rigg, Gibson, Brit, Mallick, Lawrence, William (all of them best-case, obv); it's nice 2 have a lil party sometimes! after what they've endured they've kind of earned it I think!

thank u sm!!! this was so fun 2 think abt fjdkjsk

(lil random hc: when Daniel was little, Eric used 2 write letters to him frm Santa. eventually Daniel got "too old for that," but honestly? they cherish tht memory. I wanted 2 include it bc it makes me kjehfje!!!)

[i-am-a-fucking-nerd]

td is my 21st bday and my day wasn’t bad and lots of ppl have done lots of things to make me feel loved but im gonna vent a bit bc i’ve been saving it. and im. so fucking sad. last year my bday was just after quarantine started and it was tough bc nothing rly felt real yet and i’d been looking forward to going to services and seeing my friends at temple and then going home to my roommates and a couple friends and being able to eat dinner w them and get drunk and watch a movie together and i held a lot of resentment towards the universe for a v long time bc i kept thinking abt how like, i wasn’t asking for much at all, i just wanted a nice day where i got to see ppl who loved me, and yet somehow it was still too much to ask. and like. im def not “used” to living like this and i can’t say it’s gotten easier over time but sometimes things aren’t totally awful, yknow? but the past week has been hell, the year feels so heavy. and it’s undeniably a year. bc it’s actually slightly over a year. bc quarantine started just before my bday. a whole year feeling unloved and alone. and who i talk to or how much doesn’t even change that much bc no one can hug me. it’s been a year. it’s been a year. it’s so big and it hurts so much. i tried not to ask for anything this year bc if i don’t ask for anything then anything that Does come my way is a pleasant surprise (and lots of ppl reached out and i got some rly thoughtful gifts and im not tryna discount the love i received and i don’t wanna seem ungrateful) but if im being honest w myself i’d always expected to do something for my 21st, most likely in the form of buying a drink legally, and like im not a party type of person but i am a ‘hanging out w my friends’ type of person and i just feel so fucking alone.

[waytoofuckedupstargazer]

💖👀💖

i got tagged by kade/elias @vampirekade​, we love that!!

name: jaime :3

nickname(s): james, jamison rarely, karkat because yknow :)) we’re all home stuck now

gender: lesbian kjfhgsdf

star sign: capricorn by chart, cancer by heart

current time: 11:32 am!! i’m about to make myself some ramen for a late breakfast!!

favorite artists: Hozier!!!! fuck!!!!! queen!!!! sleeping at last, florence + the machine, fuckin ABBA!!!! mumford and sons kinda slaps ngl, fuckin,, Tally Hall!!!! aaaa!!!!!

song stuck in my head: freefall by rainbow kitten surprise undercut by occasional lyrics from saturn by sleeping at last 

last movie i saw: onward!!! i was kinda worried it would be like “oop we’re showing the premise and there’s definitely a way we can do this right and make it great, but then we’re not actually gonna do that!! haha!!” but then they DIDN’T DO THAT!!!!! it was a super cute movie, and barley lightfoot is the only valid elf i love him so much, Would Die for that boy, funky lil dnd man. love him.👌 mwah.

last thing i googled: you know that very specific bit from atla where the random kid is like “nice zuko costume but your scar is on the wrong side” and zukos all “its nOT on the wrONg sIDE” because hes babey? that

other blogs: @jaimejlaurell is my “”author blog”” where i’m pretty active when i’m in Edit The WIP Mode, @discount-makaria is my witch/polytheist blog, and then i loosely (Loosely!!!!) run an avas demon theory blog @olai-arrows-107-unread-messages

do i get asks: not really

reason for url: i made myself a blog when i was neck deep in my space phase, lowkey want to change it, but have no idea what to change it to

following: i follow a whopping 42 tumblrs :’))

average sleep: 6 on a rough night, like 9 to 10 on a day when i dont have to wake up to an alarm

lucky number: 13!! 

currently wearing: i literally just got out of bed so im still rockin pjs

dream job: anything where i have to deal with crazy entitled customers as Little as possible. or at least if i do, im in a position where i dont have to worry about losing my job if i speak to them like they speak to me :)) on a more compliant note, id love to have a career in writing!! thats been a dream for a hot one and i keep getting closer and closer

dream trip: i Really want to go back to italy again, maybe take more of a leisure trip, france, australia, ireland, scotland, fuckin greece, hawaii.. there’s a lot of places i Really want to go

favorite food: Super Cheesy Pizza. or like a really good greasy burger that will probably rot me from the inside.

instruments: i wish i had the coordination (or the confidence to believe i could achieve the coordination) to play like. string instruments because i love them all so much. as of right now, i can play the ocarina tho, and im not half bad with garage band!!

favorite song: somebody to love by queen is definitely Way Up There if its not my absolute favorite, but its the first one to pop into my mind so !!

tagging: >:3 @mahalidael, @the-only-me-isme, @vnhelsing, + @theyrelesbiansrobert ya stinkies, ily <3

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

okay, y’all, i’ve gotta back on my tl;dr bullshit soapbox about something:

so, the other day, i was just mindlessly scrolling through my corporate & capitalist hellscape facebook™️ (i.e. LinkedIn) and came across this totally trite mostly bullshit meme that was shared by some corporate executive search man (whose name i decided to crop out bc eh):

so i obviously agree with the last three points on this list, bc god yes my life would’ve been a bit better if I didn’t get all my dialogue about mental health only from teen mags and horrible portrayals in teen tv shows (and also this hellsite). and hell yeah everyone, and I mean EVERYONE needs to learn that failure is okay many situations (like failing a class in uni or school) bc everyone fails at something sometimes. and dealing with failure is HARD. and time management is something that I’m pretty sure everyone lies to fuckin hell about on their resume, bc lots of people really suck at it, myself included. so yeah. that needs to be taught. and i also agree with the “how to manage your health” point. bc thats becoming ever more prevalent and important with career burn out etc.

but entrepreneurship? people management? conflict resolution? creativity? how to manage money? public speaking? like y’all. three of those ARE taught/learned in school, who the fuck wrote this meme? 

for anyone who actually paid attention in maths class, (which is probably very few people outside of the top performing classes), there WAS A WHOLE FUCKING UNIT that focuses on financial maths (in australia anyway). I ignored this unit as well as maths in general at school, bc I generally hated maths and was convinced that I was somehow never going to get a job. but i remember the gist of the overall topic and its subtopics. one subtopic teaches you how to calculate your wages in various contexts (overtime, double-time and a half, holiday payments, im pretty sure maternity leave pay was jammed in somewhere? idk if other countries would have double time & a 1/2 like australia though). another subtopic teaches you how to calculate interest on bank loans and credit rates on credit cards. a third subtopic teaches you how to calculate savings (obvs in terms of discounts in shops)....im sure there was a bit about budgeting in there somewhere? im pretty sure there were some questions were about tax payments somewhere as a subtopic enrichment exercise? but you get my gist. are these not money management skills? in some sense? like if i could find one of my old maths textbooks or old maths books i’d give an example of a question, to make my point stronger. but the problem, like i said before, is that a load of people (myself included) just zone out in maths in high school and stop trying with it. they forget what they’ve learnt, and just remember how much they hated algebra and how they’ll never use it again. maths was one hell of a fucking strong bitch, guys. but maybe i’m wrong.

creativity? excuse me? have people forgotten about art classes? drama classes? english classes? music classes? need i go on? okay don’t get me wrong, most of these classes did focus a lot on memorising quotes or facts about people (artists/writers/poets/composers/dramatists etc) or specific  periods/movements in art or theatre or literature for example.... but the amazing sculptures/paintings etc people created in art for their final projects in year 12, or even in year 10 were works of their imagination. the scripts people write in drama or maybe english (if you had a fun teacher who did a screenwriting unit, for example) are creative asf. especially in year 12 when they do their major projects, where they may produce a monologue or a short movie, and then there’s a group piece. drama students might even make their own costumes for these performances. LIKE AIN’T THAT A LOT OF CREATIVITY RIGHT THERE Y’ALL????? and english. lowly old english. THEY HAVE A WHOLE FUCKING TOPIC ON CREATIVE WRITING FOR FUCKS SAKE. the original music people might create for their final projects too in year 12? does that not count as creativity? like yes, i know a lot of these things do still have to meet bs assessment criteria (especially in catholic schools, where the main things are you don’t offend the catholic education office and jesus/god lmao) to be considered worthy of a mark for your year 12 exams. but FUCK. HOW THE FUCK AREN’T ANY OF THESE SUBJECTS COUNTED TOWARDS BEING CREATIVE???????? like fuck your corporate creative ideation or w/e bullshit, Callum. drama and english even lend themselves to improvisation in some instances, like public speaking, which is examined further, below.

next, we move on to public speaking. this shit is basically taught from the first goddamn day of “show & tell” in kindy/kindergarten, and this fucker has the gall to say that it’s not fucking taught in schools? someone call in miley cyrus/hannah montana to throw the fuck down in this motherfucking hoedown BC THIS STUPID-ASS MEME-FUCKER HAS NERVE. i hated public speaking. absolutely hated it. even though it was ironically one of the places i ended up excelling in in english classes. even when i fucked up in my english speeches with like “oh, fuck.... said nelson mandela,  i’ve seem to’ve lost my palm card. wait, shit! there it is... excuse me while i pull it out of my ass. whoops, sorry miss” *bats eyes and finger guns at my year 9 english teacher who has her head in her hands and is done with my shit, while the class laughs at my gaffe* i’d still end up with like 73% or like 26/30. it was baffling. but for people who weren’t the class clown/smart alec like i was from years 7-10 (and like i actually wasn’t once i moved schools).... public speaking is like the leading cause of anxiety, right? like by the time i got to doing speeches/presentations at uni i was having panic attacks... the thought of presenting to my classes made me fucking sick with fear and anxiety. nearly every subject i did at uni (even when i tried to avoid subs with public speaking assessments) and throughout school had some type of presentation/speech whatever you want to call it project/activity in it. even fucking SPORT/PDHPE at school and even philosophy at uni. and these fuckers are saying its not taught in schools. FUCK  OFF. like yeah, i get that they actually mean it in the professional sense.... where people can give the sappy bs motivational speeches or an insightful ted-talk worthy 20-minute presentation... or a great sales pitch. but like??? save that for mike “my dad phoned in to EY and i have a job waiting for me after uni” mcfuck in a business major or law degree? or for clubs like toastmasters? fuck. ok enough of the skills we learn in school. let’s move onto the businesslike-sounding ones of “people management”, “conflict management” and fucking “entrepreneurship”. like. what the fuck? okay in some sense people management and conflict management could potentially be used in managing friendships and relationships in your personal life. but like. i can feel the business underpinnings and i dont like it lmao. like why do you want fully functioning adults straight out of school, franklin? and there’s extra credit conflict management subjects at uni??? or at least my home uni had it... and i never did them bc they were intensive courses during summer break lol. but the one that pissed me off the most was entrepreneurship. LIKE ARE KIDS NOT FUCKING ALLOWED TO BE KIDS NOW????? well  apparently: “NO! YOU MUST ALWAYS THINK OF MONEY MAKING WAYS TO BE RICH! YOU MUST BE ENTREPRENEURIAL!!!!!! YOU MUST GENERATE BUSINESS IDEAS FROM THE TIME YOU CAN FUCKIN’ WALK!!!!! AND SPEAK!!! CHILDHOOD AND BEING A TEENAGER DON’T EXIST WORKER BEE!!!! CAPITALISM FOR ALL!!!! WORKER BEES!!! CAPITALISM IS YOUR FRIEND!!! OWN A BUSINESS BY THE TIME YOU’RE 8 YEARS OLD!” like it’s insidious asf. and it doesn’t acknowledge that most entrepreneurs are already privileged people anyway, who usually have some type of money to start off their venture (or that’s what it feels like anyway). and yeah throw all the “THIS BOY IS AN ENTREPRENEUR AT 18!!! 18!!!???? BY STARTING HIS OWN BUSINESS AT 12!!!! WHAT A CHAMP! 😁🙃” clickbait news stories at me, but i don’t fucking care. the concept and perceived over-importance and almost preaching mindset of entrepreneurship is slowly becoming insidious and toxic asf. call me paranoid. but that’s what it feels like.

but with those last three topics, i want to make a point that school curriculum’s (in australia at least, and probably worldwide) are so jam-packed already with sport (which is pointless and shitty), geography (ok how to read maps is important, but i never bothered to learned to do it properly), history, science, english etc etc etc..... that like.... where the actual fuck are the gonna jam the above bs (people management”, “conflict management” and entrepreneurship) into the curriculum???? and also teachers are already over-worked enough as it is, they don’t need another load of shitty subjects pushed onto them. and they sure asf don’t earn enough (especially in the states) to have this bs pushed into their subject schedules either. keep them at uni, where they should be. or just in the workplace/in the general public where they belong. and if people suggest that you could probably push these subjects into the year 11/12 business studies programs or elective commerce courses in years 9/10, save your goddamn breath. like i remember looking at business studies hsc papers in years 11/12 to see what they did.... and it was pretty chock-a-block anyway. and my experience of my year 9 commerce was horrible, to say the least. let kids be kids, for fucks sake. they shouldn’t have to be fully functioning adults in the workplace, by the end of high school, for fucks sake. AND ENTREPRENEURSHIP IS NOT AN ESSENTIAL SKILL????!!!! FUCK OFF WITH THAT SHIT, WILHELM. anyway. that’s my rant over about how i hate how corporate people are trying to be #relatablewiththeyouth🙃 with their shitty versions of “10 things i wish we learned in school” memes.... and failing.... without realising that this is why millennials are suspicious and cynical about meme usage by corporate people/corporations.

[bunnyb34r]

Holy shit my fatigue is so bad today. Like I'm not "I need a nap ASAP" tired (I mean I could nap) but "holy shit I cannot be upright any longer I'm fucking exhausted" tired

Honestly suprised I was able to shower okay, but I did kinda have to hype myself up to do it :/

This shit sucks so bad... I miss having energy... I miss not feeling like shit every day

I haven't felt "healthy"* since I was 12. I think puberty was when my nervous system was like "oh so we're like permanently gonna be this stressed... oh" and just gave out bc that's when my cfs started. Never stood a chance

*I mean I didn't ever feel like a normal healthy child, but I felt a hell of a lot closer to healthy than now

[faroutspaceman-blog]

My weekend so far. . 1/2 -1/4/19

My weekend starts off on Wednesday because quite frankly I can't remember what I did Monday or Tuesday. Those days are now non-existent. Forever lost in the trash bin of my deep ugly brain. Here I am laying on my bed, bored out of my fucking mind. I strum a lil guitar, sing a little, but put it back away because I realize I'm still as shit at guitar no less than I was 5 minutes before i picked it up. Now the only logical thing to do is sit and stare at my ceiling loudly moaning irritated grunts of boredom at my innocent ceiling. I get up and decide to make the most extravagant fucking sandwich. Well it was subpar, I usually put lettuce on it but we were out so I settled for a greenless burger. Whatever. I go to sit back on my bed and enjoy my sandwich, when I get a call. I fucking shoot up and tap that answer call like I just felt a rush of heroin in my blood. Thank the fucking lord. My brain almost had an aneurysm from how bored I was. My friend Vanessa and her Boyfriend (who happens to be my ex lover, love that..fuck) asks me if I wanna hang.

Me: "why yes I do want to chill, but if I'm still eating my sandwich by the time you pull up, your ass is waiting at the driveway."

Them: "we have Goldfish and Arnold Palmer's tea"

Me *while stuffing the whole sandwich in my mouth* : SAY NO MAS IM READY

I get on my new Blockbuster hoodie I bought the day before (yes from the world's only Blockbuster left in my Local Bend, Oregon.) And some jeans I found on the floor. I grabbed my keys and my bag and phone. Hiked up my driveway (which let me tell ya was a whole fucking mission in itself. ) Hall ass down my street I see Vanessa's car and they're driving like maniacs down my dirt road so I obviously take advantage of the situation and throw a peace sign into the air and lay in front of her car ready for my death. She stops and I hop in and am greeted with both my promised food items. I was very happy. We drive to a friend's house about a few miles from my house because we need to refill our pods with juice because ya know.. gotta get that nicotine rush. We had 8 full pods to last us the day. (They did not last for 3 people.)

After we fill our pods, we head down to Redmond, Oregon to the local 24 great Walmart to do what ever because we were bored, I decided to challenge my friends to a game of Hide n seek, and I was the only one who hid because they were being lame. I won it took them 40mins to find me. I was in the office supply Ile. After we went to Walmart, we went to Fred Meyers. stole their WiFi and lounged on their couches until it closed. Nothing special pretty boring.

Then Johnny, Vanessa's Boyfriend, gets the bright idea to swing by his house to see if his parents have packed up to leave to Idaho. If they are gone, Johnny plans to break into his own house ( I say break In because he just got kicked out.. again for refusing to be Mormon and for smoking and going against his parents) They are not gone yet so we decide to go to our chill spot which is way up on this hill where you can see all of Redmond. We talk, watch vines, etc.

Anyway I decide to go outside and look around, as I'm looking around Vanessa joins me. We are across from the car and we look around and I find this underwire leopard print bra a smashed TV and a lone boot. So I was already like "what the actual fuck happened here?"

I still forward towards the TV and there I see it, an empty grave, it looks fresh. I turn to Vanessa and she's already booked it back to the Car with me right behind her. We lock the doors and turn on Nextflix (we were watching Chappie).

Halfway through the movie, this man in a green Subaru pulls up next to our car. This is already fuckin weird because only few know about this road.he parks his car a lil ways from ours, cuts off his lights and just idles. At first were cautious but he just seemed to be doing the same we were, so our fear eventually subsided. We finished our movie, the car was still parked, and we pull out to check to see if Hunters parents had left. As we were pulling away we saw that the man had a blond haired woman in her car, but not to be rude she looked like a hooker. He was probably waiting for us to leave and we accidentally rang this man's bill up 200 an hour. Oops.

We checked Johnnys house. They're still there. Guess we're sleeping in the car tonight. We decide to try and find some food, we pull into Domino's and order a large pizza. As we're waiting for pizza, I joke able how I've cut my Cornea in the most retarted way to Vanessa's boyfriend. I move my hands to get the hair out of my face, and the string to my hoodie cuts my eye. At first I thought there was just something in my eye so I start rubbing it. It really fucking hurts. I close my eyes and black thinking it will go away but it never does. We drive back to the chill spot and on the way back, we see that green Subaru on the main Street leaving from our spot,but I saw no girl this time. Who knows we were gone a long fucking time. Must have dropped her off a few ways back. We get back in on the hill I manage my eye to keep the excess light out of it and my friends play Madea boo 2 on next. When the movie ends we decide to just go to sleep on the hill. I'm a little pissed at this point because I just wanted to chill and not murder my eyeball.

We put her back seat down and I'm on the far edge in the backseat wishing I never came because maybe if I stayed home this wouldn't of happened. Then there's a knock on the window. Not like an accidental hit it was clearly a knock. I dont say anything, it isn't acknowledged between any of us. I try and sleep and Johnny is freaking out

"dude are you fucking hearing this. It sounds like footsteps and dragging outside."

I don't hear shit so Ignore it. Then Vanessa starts hearing it. And I know she doesn't lie so I'm flipping my shit at this point. Vanessa jumps into front seat and She whips her car off the hill so fast we was cooking.

We end up driving back to Walmart to get me eyedrops in hope it'll make it better. As Vanessa is running in to get eyedrops, this girl stops us to ask if she can use her phone because her friends ditched her at Walmart ( what fuckin assholes. ) She waits away from our car for her friend, and she quickly comes back telling us that a man asked if she wanted a ride home and a smoke.we told her to wait with us because I was suspicious that it was the man in the green Subaru.

Vanessa's comes back with the eyedrops and we leave the parking lot without the girl. I strangely don't remember saying goodbye to her but we did apparently? We park in the neighborhood and get back into the backseat of the car. We play never have I ever until 4 am. We fall asleep and wake up at 6:30 am. I'm still asleep I. The back seat when I hear Johnny's happy that his parents are gone, he tries to look for ways back into his house but it's a no bueno. They drives to lowes while I pretend to be asleep on the backseat of the car. All I heard was lockpick and Saw and I already knew someshit was about to happen.

They park back at Johnny's house and I stay in the car. About 10 minute later Johnny comes back In the car and yells "we got it". Sweet so the lock picked worked? Nope they sawed a hole in the backdoor. He is for sure going back to jail after this. Vanessa guides me inside because I'm blind and can't see. We sit on the couch i call an eye doctor in bend and make an appointment for 4pm, for Johnny's uncle that happens to coincidentally be an eye doctor. He lives a block away from Johnny. Around 12 pm. We leave Johnny's house and go look for other things to do I. The area.

We pull into this Freshman's driveway,(Tom) and lets get this straight, Tom is fucking annoying and no one likes him because he is a fein for pods and nicotine, that and he thinks he's tough shit. Proud why he got excelled. We've had to help him with every fight he's been in. Trash.

We chill at his house for a while, and eventually his step mom walks in and kicks us out "get out of my house, I don't like kids having sex on my couch"

Honestly we just came over to steal his food. His step mom is such a joke. She has the biggest crush on our friend Jason. We could honestly break apart that whole marriage and cause such a scandle with that information. Anyway it's about 2pm now, my appointment is in two hours. We drive to the park and wait.

5 minutes later Tom skates to us on his long board, asks if he can hang and throws his board I the trunk.

Fuck. Just when I thought I was gonna get away from this kid. We drive by away from the park and go towards bend for my appointment. The whole car ride he blows his burnt vape in my fave and it smells like ass. I asked him to stop. He didn't. We stop at the grocery, I stay in the car, while Tom takes a smoke break out the car while Johnny and Vanessa shop. 3 minutes pass and he asks if I want a smoke.

"no that shits nasty"

"come-on. They don't even taste like stogies. They smell soo good*

He shoves the pack of cigs in my face and I was getting pissed. The only way to get rid of his prized cigs is to threaten his prized cigs.

"if you don't get that shit out of my face rn, I swear I'll rip them all up then spit on them"

"I'll beat ur ass if you do"

I just smirked at him as he took his cigs back and closed the door.

It's about 3:45 and we head to my appointment. Vanessa directs me to the office. And it's so bright in there, I instantly start crying which makes my eyes hurt even more. I honestly have never wanted to just instantly die in a moment than now. I just want to stop hurting. I'm finally able to open my eyes and the office by is actually very nice. I fill out the paperwork and the doctor sees me right away.

I try and play it smooth, talking about how broke I am, and how much I love Jonny so he'll give me a discount be because I don't have health Insurance.

Then he says "be in remember you, we played ping pong at Johnny's house during their Mormon party."

I had flashbacks to the Mormon party, and how we won the game, how I almost fucked Johnny in his car afterwards on the way back home. But it felt wrong because Vanessa was there. Then I remembered the hole in the back door.

"yeah that was really fun. I remember we won."

He didn't day anything he just put numbing drops In My eyes and this yellow dye. He looked at my eyes and said

"you have a 3 millimeter cut on your eye. You really did some damage"

"dammit"

He writes my prescription and im ngl I almost booked it out the door. But I waited instead. He me 120 for a 2 minute visit. Asshole. After I talked so nicely with him.

Me and Vanessa went back outside but the car was gone, so was Tom and Johnny.

We called them, they're a block or two away. We waited and waited, and entertained ourselves by kicking rocks to each other that made the best ear tingling noise you could imagine.

A couple minutes later the car pulled up and this girl other girl was in the car. Wtf man I just want to go home. As soon as we get into the car everyone is aguing about where we're going and Johnny wants to Trade My weed for pods.that he didn't even ask me if he could be trade. Which pissed me off A SHIT TON. johnny, Tom and this dumb dumb bitch kept arguing about pods and juuls. I realized how absolutely fucking retarted it is and how I never want to sound like that. I save all my shit to Johnny and just said " I quit" . We drove into Safeway gave them my perscription. Told us to come back in 20 minutes. Dropped dumb bitch off at her friends no house. Johnny traded my Weed for pods. And Tom proceeded to cuss out girl we traded with calling her names like fat ass, which I did not approve of. Tom commented on something and I swear I almost killed a kid in front of my friends. Tom was lucky that night. I would have strangled him if it wasn't for my eye.

We go back to Safeway and they try and charge me $47 for a $4 perscription. Fuck that. We transfer it to Walmart. We drive home, I'm the first to get dropped off. Thank fucking god.

My mom comes into my room, and hugs me and just listens to me sleepily jabber about anything.

Last time I'll ever sacrifice my subpar sandwich for goldfish and Arnold Palmer's.

Never again

[artisticdagger]

All

CrACKS KNUCKLES

Alright boys. Time to feel some Halloween finally tonight.

Boogeyman: what’s your weirdest/most irrational fear?

I. am so fucking terrified of Balloons. I love them but i never want one near me or within my field of view. Party Stores are so much fun but i spend the whole time thinking about the balloon blowing station in them

Candy Corn: what’s the best Halloween candy? the worst?

The best are those fucking Jolly Rancher Sticks hands down, the fact you get a plank of hard candy gets me, but I wont say no to any of those small packaged sour patch kids either. Something about them being in small doses that just. Warms my soul. Worst? Tie between Licorice and pretzels for sure. Thats just radiating I Hate Fun. 

Crow: do you believe in omens? which ones?

Yes but more obvious ones. Like a black cat ain’t scaring me off or nothing. But for example. I was driving home from a late night class. My windows were fogged up no matter how much i tried to get them cleared up, meaning it was hazy as hell. It had been pouring rain, so the streets were flooded up, Vultures cover my campus. Merging onto a highway with foggy smeared windshield, reflecting puddles all over the place trying to determine what was headlights and what was reflecting, my fav radio station, which only EVER plays hard alternative music, suddenly started playing this slow, soft, sad song about someone dying in memory of the radio host’s dead dog? And all i could think was that this is how tragic backstories start where the movie flashbacks to how this important person died. Needless to say. I took it real slow going home. 

Exorcist: do you believe in demons?

Oh fuck yeah. Maybe less in a biblical sense, although still stemming from a place of that for sure of like. Evil Entities probably from Darker Dimensions. Probably get confused as Evil Ghosts which i think dont really exist honestly, i think most Evil Ghosts are probably demons here to fuck your shit up. Souless lil fuckers here to be piss babies. 

Ghost: have you ever encountered a spirit or haunted place?

BUDDY. MY OLD HOUSE WAS HAUNTED AS FUCK. And im sure everyone says that but Do I Have Some Stories that include me asking my parents if “The Man Is Gonna Follow Us” when told i was going to go to Disney when i was like five or six. Freaked the shit out of my parents but they kinda already knew the house was haunted cause a lot of just. Freaky shit happened. It was a very old house. 

Haunted: do you like haunted houses (or corn mazes, hayrides, etc.)?  if so, what’s the scariest one you’ve participated in?

UHhhhhh no? I’m. I dont like jumpscares i have Anxiety. and most of those are people you pay to just jumpscare you. I did enjoy a few Haunted Hayrides back when i was Very Little but only the parts where people didnt come out of the forest to chase the ride with chainsaws. 

Mothman: do you know of any local urban legends, or is there an urban legend that really freaks you out?

I am not really freaked out by them but i think it’s cause the only Urban Legend that is local is the Jersey Devil? And I dont know why people are scared of him? Because he only attacks people who have a Blackened Heart? So he’s like… a good guy? The only reason you have to be scared of him is if YOU are a bad guy?

Mystery: what’s the strangest unsolved mystery that you’ve heard of?

oh shit uhhh. Strangest? God I dunno. Roswell. Maybe not the strangest but i think it’s just fucking WILD that like…. FBI people themselves have come forward to say shit about it. 

Scream: favourite horror film?

HM. horror films don’t really do it for me. I’ve watched so goddamn many. I once watched the entirety of the Saw Franchise, all like, what, 8 movies? In three days? My favorites have to be The Strangers films. Hits close to home of my weird fear of being broken into. Also my younger mind remembers watching Girl ON The Train and loving it but i’d have to rewatch it again tbh. It’s got some dark ass themes though, i do remember, so be careful if you ever check it out. 

Spell: do you believe in magic, or any sort of otherworldly powers?

Mmmmm. I dunno. Yes? I think? I believe there are people out there with them for sure but i also believe in the power of human brains and belief to just be that fuckin weird sometimes. 

Trick or Treat: do you have any plans for Halloween this year?

It fell on a wednesday when i dont have classes so i couldnt dress up to go to class. Im Too Old to go out trick or treating. I have no friends and therefore No Parties. I went out to brunch and had a therapy sessions today. Press F.

UFO: do you believe in aliens, and do you think they visit Earth?

YES. YES I DO. ONE HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT. 

Werewolf: what cryptid or monster do you think could actually exist?

Yes.

Witches: are you going to dress up this year? if yes, as what?

I went to a lil costume party this past Sunday! I dressed up as a Warlock! Kinda? I dunno! You got discounts for wearing a witch hat at this lil town event thing so i went too ham. I’d post pics but I took None of myself. and all the others have friends who dont want their face Out There. 

[tumblunni]

OH FUCK U GUYS SHOULD I BUY ALL THE KINDGOM HEARTS IN A ONCENESS???

Holy jesus i knew they did hd ps4 ports of the playstation games but they ALSO added all the final mix content that engkishspeaking fans never got during my childhood? And they ALSO remade chain of memories entireky in 3d with Very Animated Ice Dad?? And they ALSO remade BBS despite it not needing it nearly as much as the old games and thet ALSO remade friggin dream drop distance which came out on a goddamn current gen console?? Like they seriously just made a non portable version?? Now all the spinoffs are on the same console at last?? Why did you not just do this in the first place?? I mean the psp and 3ds games were basically ps2 equivelant graphics and disc space anyway...

Oh and fuckin ALLLLSOOOOO

Also the final mixes of all of those! Also a movie version of the plot of khux! And also Coded and Days, which is a really big shame cos Coded is indeed sparse enough on content to deserve it but Days was my FAVOURITE GAME and it sucks its the only one that didnt get remade! I mean its in the same spinoff category as bbs and com, its not a cheapo mess like coded. Nothing else in the series deserves to be shoved in the Coded bin, even khux at least has better plot even if the backtracking and lootbox shit makes it harder to get to it...

Anyway ALSO a random new sidestory with Aqua going thru like one dungeon or somethin?? I dunno?? Its like a glorified tech demo for kh3, its just 'hey fuckin look what we can do visually on a proper ps4 game' and wow how have i never fuckin heard of this it looks so pretty!! I mean i dont know if its even more than 5 hours or somethin but.. Pretty!! And apparantly you get unlockable costumes for her or somethin? I hope they keep that feature in kh3! Itd rock if it wasnt just the main character too, and we could dress up riku and kairi and goofy and donald and roxas and axel and every the friends :3 new secret to how they defeat xehanort: slap a bow on his damn head

ALSO ALSO

All of this is available in one big bundle pack for £90 which ALSO contains literally kh3. THIS IS HOW THEYRE HANDLING PREORDERS?? THATS SUCH A GOOD WAY TO HANDLE PREORDERS!! Get a discounted price on this new game but while youre waiting for it you get to enjoy an (also discounted) giant fuckin 300 hours memory lane compilation of every damn thing from the last 15 years in one beautiful updated package. Holy fuck its like they made this for ME SPECIFICALLY!this is the perfect way to get people back into the franchise who dropped off in The Great KH3 Wait cos they couldnt afford all the damn million portables needed to gather that Dank Lore. God fuckin hell it cost more than the price of this bundle just to play any one of those games individually on some stupid retro machine i bought exclusively for that one damn game. THAT PSP STILL ROTS IN MY KITCHEN CUPBOARD YO

So

So so so so so

Guys

Please give me permission to buy this

Or like please convince me not to waste my money if you think i'd waste my money??

I really just DONT KNOW! ive been out of the fandom for so long and my last experience was really hatting BBS and feeling horribly out of place as everyone else raved about it being the best thing ever. And i know NOTHING about what kh3 is gonna be or whether its even possible for me to get back into the fandom and like.. Care about it at all again. I just got fuckin fatigued with it and my teenage years were like me clinging on to the edge of a cliff by my fingernails begging everyone to believe me that Its Still Good, Honestly, Its Worth It while square enix is up there all LONG LIVE THE KING and they push me off. Into a stampede of PSPs. Somehow.

And then aaargh i know i literally only came back to the fandom because organization xiii fuckin eternally holds my heart in their lil grabby hands. It was indeed a good nostalgic moment remembering how i loved them! And getting a new appreciation for Vexen and being blown away by how much he should have been my favourite but i just never got to play COM as a kid and then when i played it as an adult all the way after bbs i ended up quitting before even getting to meet half the org cos this one stupid 'defeat 99 shadows jn 99 seconds' mission kicked my ass. I'M JUST NOT GOOD AT ACTION RPGS OKAY!

Aaaagh thats another Big Worry, yknow? Like asa kid i was Bad, as an adult i'm Barely Better , and as a both i never enjoyed beat em up thingies of any kind at all. And on top of that i was never big into disney, i never saw them as any sort of 'childhood magic' but just some naff cliche shit retelling public domain fairy tales in the safest way possible with a bunch of obnoxious celebrity cameos. Also lion king and snow white terrified me as a kid. Also i associated robin hood with my dead grandma. Also as a kid i couldnt appreciate good artistic ability or voiceacting, i was all about the story, yknow? And most of kh's adaptations are really rushed and barebones versions of an already shoddy story, without any of the visual splendor. ALSO i never saw any of the darker or more emotionally focused stuff like Hunchback and Beauty and the Beast until way after i quit playing kingdom hearts, oddly enough. Wtf beauty and thebeast is actually real good and looks so far beyond its time!! Wtf hunchback has my goddamn evil dad in it!! Why did i miss the only good didneys!! Why did snow white traumatize me and those didnt!!

ANYWAY the point im getting at is that im not inherantly predisposed to like.. Any of kingdom hearts's appeal at all. I didnt know half the disneys and i didnt have any hype for the others. None of my fave final fantasy games made it into it until the sequel and then never again after that. CMON I CANT JUST DEAL WITH ONE VIVI CAMEO Y'ALL! And i haaaate the genre and its an uphill struggle to play a game like that with my stupid inelegant sausage hands. So i just came for the story and then everything after the first game has been conspiring to ruin it for me, sheesh! I felt so much for that short concise self contained first episode and then i fall more and more out of love as they establish this status quo of everything being retconnable so dont bother get attatched to it. Blablabla the entire worldbuilding is different now and everyone was secretly someone else and please memorize a bunch of shit from fifty fuckin spinoffs and also time travel and cloning suddenly exist and ALSO Grandpa Onlyblackmanintheworld is generic motiveless evil and everything was him even of it looked like it was actually a sympathetic villain. *insert dio meme face*

So yeah now im just.. In it for the characters?? And the cute art style and monsters and lovely animations and big fanfic oc potentials stuff. But man even tho i had Big Feel for those things i was able to completely drop it all and forget about the series for years, that was just HOW BAD the kh3 drought was. Steven universe hiatus eat your heart out...

So ffff i dont even KNOW if i'll be able to get feels'd for these characters again or if they actually hold up to modern bunni standards of huggable. And i know all the ones i want to hug the most got like zero sympathy and all died horribly and were also retroactively revealed to be clone oldmanvirus somethingy and aaaaaagh. But also something something people say they all came back and got cured?? And this is why?? I am here?? Again?? And buying?? The thing??

Like man fuck i am already building it up so much in my head aaaa what if i dont actually love axel as much as i used to love axel and i dont love Grumply Science as much as i always love That Character Archetype seriously MAN how was he like THE ONLY ONE I DIDNT GET TO SEE AS A KID

Aaauuuuaggh gahhh like maybe this will reignite my passion for the series or maybe i'll just be all critical and dumb and waste all my moneys

Guys... What do??

[sapphicscholar]

hi so I didn't know who to ask but in my psych class we're learning about adolescent psychology, & there was this unit on developing interest in relationships. It went way into detail on how the brain changes during that time, which was interesting, but ofc my gay ass couldn't relate. at the end all it said was 'it's different for homosexuals.' I guess I'm wondering if you know of any way to learn about psychology relating to LGBT people? srsly im thirsty for anything in academia I can relate to

(same psych anon) that was a pretty specific question so I guess like do you have any info or know of any links/ websites/places to learn about lgbt history and lives and stuff like that in an academic way? bc I love school & learning but I’ve always wanted to learn more about myself and people like me, but they never teach that in schools.

Oh my gosh SO MANY THINGS! Okay, so, the psych stuff is pretty outside of my knowledge but I asked my gf (she does the science in this relationship while my gay ass just reads a whole lot of books), and she recommends Helen Fisher and looking at the researchers at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality or the Kinsey Institute, as well as The Sage Encyclopedia of LGBTQ Studies (it’s an online resource a lot of universities subscribe to). But I’d also say that as far as thinking about developmental narratives, LGBTQ memoirs are a great place to start, especially since so many of them go through their own experiences of having to confront this heteronormative, cis-centric narrative that just doesn’t fit them and their lives. 

So some good queer history authors are: John D’Emilio (comprehensive, if a bit male-centric), Lillian Faderman (writing all about lesbian history, including more recent history; very well-respected; she’s got some issues in her scholarship that by no means discount it as a whole, but I’m happy to talk more about if you want), Michael Bronski (his Queer History of the United States is really accessible), George Chauncey (it’s just of NYC, but still fun), Estelle B. Freedman, Foucault (though it’s not quite “history,” it’s a kind of history meets theory of regimes of power and how sexuality got tied up in that), Martha Vicinus (I adore her), Valerie Traub (goes all the way back to the early modern period), and so many others who really focus more on niche history, so I won’t list them here. There are some web resources, but I know a lot of them are databases that are subscription-based. I’ll see what I can’t dig up in the next couple of days as far as free websites. I know they exist; it’s just a matter of having the time to look…

Okay, you didn’t specifically say you were interested in literature but bc I taught literature and think it’s a great way to learn about the history of a group, I’m gonna list some anyway and you can feel free to disregard!

Patricia Highsmith, The Price of Salt (or Carol, depends on the year it was printed) – you can also check out the movie! I find the two to be complementary (the book gives you Therese’s POV almost exclusively, whereas the movie shows much more of Carol’s story) 

Alison Bechdel, Fun Home is her graphic novel/memoir that’s really excellent, but the comic strip that sort of launched her as a public persona (at least within the lesbian community) was Dykes to Watch Out For, quite a bit of which is available for free online

Henry James, The Bostonians – one of the first recognizable depictions of a queer female character in literature (not really…I’d trouble that as a professor, but that’s how it gets taught in general, and it was one of the first books where even contemporary reviewers were quick to note that there was something “wrong” or “morbid,” which was 19th C. code for what would come to be understood as lesbian sexuality, about Olive Chancellor) – free online, though it’s James at his most….Jamesian, which means it’s not that accessible

The poetry of Emily Dickinson! It’s all free online. There’s a ton of it, though much of it isn’t obviously queer

James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room – gets into bisexual identity in a way a lot of works don’t do; on the sadder side…fair warning 

Virginia Woolf! Especially Orlando or Mrs. Dalloway – the former has been called “the longest and most charming love-letter in literature” (to Woolf’s longtime friend and lover, Vita Sackville-West) and deals with the fluidity of gender and time; the latter has quite a few flashbacks to the brief childhood romance of the protagonist and her friend. Both of them are great, but Woolf, as a modernist, can have a writing style that’s difficult to get into at first (for instance, time really isn’t stable or linear, which is something I adore about her, but definitely takes some getting used to). They’re both available free online through Project Gutenberg

Radclyffe Hall, The Well of Loneliness – it’s a classic, in the sense that it’s one of those books people sort of expect you to have read if you do lesbian literature. It’s certainly an interesting story and told well, but it’s not even close to a happy ending and is rather conciliatory to prevailing norms (though even still it was taken to the courts under the  obscenity laws) - free online, though!

Sarah Waters – a contemporary novelist who writes almost all historical fiction about queer women! Some of her stories are better known (e.g. Tipping the Velvet), but they’re pretty much all great. Varying degrees of angst, but definitely an accessible read

Maggie Nelson, The Argonauts – sort of experimental in form (it’s fiction with footnotes!); it deals with a lesbian woman coming to terms with her partner’s transition and her own identity during the process 

E.M. Forster, Maurice – even though it was first drafted in the 1910s, Forster edited it throughout his life, and, given the subject matter, which was also autobiographical, and the prevailing attitudes at the time, the book was only published posthumously in the 70s

Colette’s Claudine series – it’s long (multi-volume) but sort of a classic – they’re all old enough to be free online, though the English translation is harder to come by 

Eileen Myles – lesbian poet and novelist – I’d recommend Inferno but some of her poetry is free online 

Rita Mae Brown – Rubyfruit Jungle and Oranges Are not the Only Fruit are both quite good, though, especially the latter deals with religiously-motivated homophobia, so I know at least my girlfriend, who dealt with a lot of that from her family, opted not to read it for her own mental health. 

Tony Kushner, Angels in America – this two-part play deals with the AIDS crisis in America – it’s been turned into a TV miniseries, a Broadway play, and a movie, some of which are available online

Really anything by David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs – both are gay authors who deal a lot with short stories (a ton of memoir/autobiographical stuff) – the former is a bit funnier, but they both have enough sarcasm and dry wit even in dark situations to make them fast reads 

Alan Ginsburg’s poetry 

Walt Whitman’s poetry (though it can be really fucking racist) 

Binyavanga Wainaina, One Day I Will Write About This Place – does deal with issues of sexual abuse as a warning 

Anything by Amber Hollibaugh (she writes a lot about class and butch/femme dynamics – quite a bit of her stuff has been scanned and uploaded online) 

Michelle Tea – was a slam poet; recovering alcoholic; fantastically funny and talented author and delightful human being if you ever get the chance to meet her or go to one of her readings

Randy Shilts, And the Band Played On – more a work of investigative journalism than anything, the work is a stunning indictment of the indifference of the US government during some of the worst years of the AIDS crisis, but it also provides a good bit of gay history 

Terry Galloway Mean Little Deaf Queer – deals with one woman’s experience of losing her hearing and navigating the world and the Deaf and deaf communities as a once-hearing person – she’s sort of acerbic and always funny;

Jeffrey Eugenides, Middlesex – grapples with intersex identity in a way that’s still far too rare in literature 

Theodore Winthrop, Cecil Dreem – just rediscovered about two years ago, this is one of the few pretty happy gay novels from the nineteenth century! Free online!

Leslie Feinberg, Stone Butch Blues – pretty clear from the title, but deals with a butch character’s struggles with gender identity (takes T to pass for a while, but then gets alienated from the lesbian community; eventually stops taking T, but still struggles with what that means for her) – Feinberg’s wife made it free online for everyone after Feinberg’s death (the book had a limited print run, which made finding copies both hard and expensive) 

Harvey Fierstein, Torch Song Trilogy – trilogy later adapted for film about an effeminate gay man (who also performs as a drag queen) and his life and family   

Oscar Wilde – his novels aren’t explicitly gay, but they often dance around it thematically, at least; his heartbreaking letter, De Profundis, which he wrote to his lover while imprisoned for “gross indecency,” is available online 

Anything by Dorothy Alison 

Audre Lorde, Zami: A New Spelling of My Name - great as a memoir and a cultural history  

There’s so many more but this is so my jam I suspect I’ve already rambled too long

If you’re interested in film, here are a few: 

Paris Is Burning (a film about drag ball culture in NYC) 

Fire – Deepa Mehta (it’s on YouTube in the US) 

Boys Don’t Cry – there is a lot of homophobia and transphobia in the film, so it’s definitely one you’ll want to be in the right mindset to watch (I, for one, have only watched it once) 

But I’m a Cheerleader – over-the-top mockumentary-esque film that satirizes conversion therapy and the Christian “documentaries” that claimed to showcase their successes (RuPaul is in it as well) 

Desert Hearts – one of the earliest films to leave open the possibility of a happy ending for the lesbian couple 

Hedwig and the Angry Itch – deals with gender identity and feelings of not belonging (also a fabulous musical) 

Philadelphia – about one man���s experience of discrimination while dying of AIDS 

There are plenty of lighter films, but I figure these tend to also talk more seriously about some issues as well

I don’t know if anyone but me made it to the end of this post, but there’s also so much fun queer theory out there that I won’t get into here, but I’m always up for giving more recommendations!