#i want to write a bit more but my mind went blank but i think this is enough lmao

[elegantgardenrunaway]

If it's with you

Curly (mouthwashing) x reader

A/N: AAAAAAH FINALLY I FINISHED IT. Sorry for the delay, to be honest it was quite challenging for me to write this one. I hope I did Curly good enough for you.

This is the second (and last) part of this. But if you want to keep with the fluff then I would recommend skipping this.

Warnings: Jimmy (ofc), violence, mild gore(?), death, no happy ending (sorry guys not really), very hinted about what happened with Anya, but not explicit.

And bad grammar, probably. Sorry, English is not my first language.

He wishes he had kept his mouth shut.

Just for a day or two more, so at least the decorations wouldn't have been put to waste.

Such a birthday celebration. They must have put a lot of effort into it and he had to go and ruin everything.

Their reactions are still burning in his mind, like burning coal scorching his brain; Anya's worried voice, Swansea sarcastic remarks, Daisuke’s silence, Jimmy's accusations, your blank expression looking at the plate while you gripped the fork with white knuckles. No matter what, they are always there.

He sighs heavily, he needs to get to work soon.

He doesn't know how he will face the others now.

Yet he doesn't move, doesn't even hear that someone has entered the lounge. He later hears the shuffle of the couch as someone sits besides. He doesn't bother to look up nor start a conversation, too drained to give an explanation or even a half joke to break the ice.

They stand up again. He thinks they are going to leave him alone.

Then he hears the radio being turned on, followed by the sound of music, banishing the silence in the air.

He turns up, surprised and confused, finding you walking back to him with a nervous smile on your face.

For some reason, he's relieved that you are not Jimmy.

I mean, he definitely wouldn't do something like this.

You took his hands, lightly pulling him up. His hands had brushed against yours more than one time, on accident that is, due to your jobs or as a playful row during game nights. Now he realizes how warm and comforting your hands are to the point he hardly notices that he went up on his own, following you.

“Do you like to dance, Captain?” Your voice takes him out of his trance.

He blinks “... What?”

“... Um… Do you… do you like to dance? We can dance if you want. It's still your birthday party and it shouldn't end like this. Please, at least one dance”

He looked at them, dance… Dance? In a moment like this?

“We still have work to do,” he said, trying to give an excuse to get out of this.

“To hell with work,” you responded as you guided him “Forget the work, the company, everything. Tomorrow we'll drown. Today? Today we dance”

… That doesn't sound so bad.

He looks at your eyes. They hold such determination even if you look nervous. Your hands, your hands were holding him, he felt grounded. He repeated your words in his mind:

Today we dance. Ha, he isn't very good at it. He doesn't dance a lot, never had the time in a work like this.

He didn't refuse your proposal, didn't have the heart to tell you no, but he warned you about his lack of skill on the dance floor.

You laughed, he didn't know whether to feel embarrassed or offended or both, but your later reassurance lifted a weight from his shoulders. Soon he's holding you in his arms, bodies close, his head resting on you as you sway with the melody. His body is relaxed and the worries about the future are temporarily forgotten from his mind.

You don't judge him nor think less of him. Instead, you go at his pace and encourage him to try something different, something new, even if he's not really good at it, he can still learn.

Especially if it's with you.

Time seemed to disappear for both of you. A song became two, became three, became four until you had to let each other go, you had to go back to work.

But he didn’t want to do that. He wished he could stay with you, just a little bit longer.

But when you accepted that the time was up, you agreed to meet again for your next class the following day in the morning before work.

He was the first one to arrive. Entering the lounge way before your agreement. The holographic screen still shows the night sky. He didn't sleep, he couldn't. His friend has been giving him the cold shoulder and the rest of his crew is still shaken up from the news. Even though you tried to hide it, he still noticed.

And then, there is him. With a good reference secured. Which is good, but then again he still needs to figure out what he wants to do once he steps down for good.

What was life before the Tulpar? Who was Curly before the captain?

“Good morning” you yawned, trying to fix your appearance and open your eyes a little bit more “I see you're early, how long have you been here?”

“Uh?” He quickly turned upon hearing you, looking at you for a few seconds with a mixture of guilt and gratitude, he knew you were giving up some of the few hours of sleep you had in favor of this and he appreciates that. If the coffee machine wasn't empty, he would've made some for you.

“Oh, no… I just arrived, you have nothing to worry about” he lied and walked to your side “Thank you for doing this”

“Uh, don't mention it” you mumbled, yawning once more.

“Can I offer you something? Well, anything that is not coffee that is…”

“Heh, I'm alright, don't worry about it. Shall we start?”

How fast can someone get interested in another person?

Not to say he didn't pay attention to you before. It's just that now he does it in a different way, another eyes, another heart.

Suddenly he sees your expression when you smile, the wrinkles on your face when you laugh at Daisuke's bad jokes or the sudden energy boost you get with him and Anya, ; the way you listen to Swansea's rants or roll your eyes at Jimmy. Which he doesn't really like.

For six days you had taught Curly the basics of dance.

For six mornings Curly had felt excitement of waiting for a new day. He wanted to learn about dancing, learn about you.

And then …

System Failure

System Failure

System Failure

"…"

He wished he wasn't so stupid. That he was a better man and stopped Jimmy, gave him a better punishment for his actions. But then again, his options weren't very promising, especially if it involved everyone's last pay.

But maybe he's just making excuses.

He wants to scream, to apologize, to Anya, to Swansea, Daisuke and you.

Maybe he wasn't the one who set up the ship towards the asteroid, but practically served the option for Jimmy in a silver plate. So it was the same, at least in his mind, as if he was the one in the seat.

It kills him, it kills him to be a prisoner in his own, decaying body that refused to die or at least that the other refused to let die. He now has to depend on Anya —as if things weren't nightmarish enough — to even breathe properly.

You started to help Anya a little bit after he got stabilized. Seeing how she was struggling with him, you wanted to relieve some of the burden from her shoulders. The first thing you did was try to give him his pills. He will never forget the look on your eyes, the shine of betrayal and uncertainty, you seemed to be observing a bizarre creature, a monster.

That made him feel he was burning all over again.

And despite that, you did it again. You continued to give him his pills and learn from Anya how to take care of him the best you could with the little equipment you had, the fearful and horrified expression you desperately tried to conceal for his sake turned to a resigned, yet kind one. You get used to the bandages, the smell of burned fresh he still emits and soon replace Anya on the duty of giving him his pills, giving the woman a little peace of mind.

You talk to him, more often than not, you tell him about your day, the plans to have to ensure your survival, what would you do once you get back to earth, the ideas you have to get another job and one of two comments about redoing the dance lessons once he recovers from his injuries, though clarifying that it was only if he was interested. As if you would survive this.

For him, that was what was keeping him alive. He could only dream of that future you were telling him, the things you were telling yourself to give both of you hope, to desperately keep the shine in your eyes to keep shining.

Though that could only work for so long. Especially after you and the rest of the remaining crew discovered the contents of the cargo.

Mouthwash.

So that's what he was dedicating his own life for, the reason he was climbing ladders for…

He couldn't help but let out a pained chuckle, surprising you, making you look as if he just performed a miracle.

Well, he supposes that if is his suffering all it takes to impress you, then he'll gladly give it to you. Anything that could give you some hope.

Things started spiraling, you had told him and sometimes he could even hear it from his spot in the infirmary. How Swansea broke his sobriety after all these years, how Daisuke started to drink too, how Anya and you tried to keep the situation at float, but what he was most scared of was how Jimmy seemed to start to act more… aggressive. If that was even possible. He was more demanding, more prone to outburst and you and him had had rows more often.

He would be lying if he was afraid that he would do something to you. You, who still tries to hold some hope and share it with him. You are a balm that manages to soothe at least some of the despair that crushes his chest and the electric torture his own muscles give him.

He promises himself, that if you two get out of here alive and manages to at least become a somewhat functional living being, even if it meant having some kind of shitty prosthetics, even if he had to learn to walk again, he would take you to a nice place, get you some nice clothes and dance with you all night.

Yes, yes he would. And for that, he needs to keep himself alive. To take responsibility for what happened, to have a life with you.

Then suddenly, one day you came, with a look of shock. You didn't say too much that day, only a few words.

“I know... I-I know what he did”

And you didn't need to say anything else.

And you stopped talking to him for what felt like an eternity. It was a week and a half, but with the silence of the room and Anya and Jimmy being the only ones coming here, it was torture for him.

He never thought he would feel more relieved when you started talking to him again. He cried, it hurted, it hurted like hell. You shushed him gently.

But you never talked about the future again. Sometimes you still didn't talk at all, the shine in your eyes replaced by a resignation that gave him chills.

And then, everything fell apart the moment Anya locked herself in the nursery, asking if you could look after Daisuke to make sure he was doing okay, she could give him his medicines, assuring you that she was capable and that you didn't need to worry about it.

She didn't give him his medicines.

Instead, he was forced to witness how she twitched and withered on the floor until her body no longer moved.

He heard Daisuke's screams before he appeared from that vent. The young boy saw Anya, eyes glossy and horrified and tried to beg for her to talk, hoping that she was still somewhat alive, to tell him everything would be okay. And between guilty sobs, he mentioned Jimmy's name and that you were gravely injured too.

His heart stopped at that moment.

What happened to you? What did he do? Are you okay? Will you make it? Or is it too late for you too?

It couldn't be, it couldn't.

Then everything seemed to happen in a blur, he barely remembers what came next. Jimmy and Swansea were in the infirmary, the latter betaring the first one for his foolishness, for what he did to you and Daisuke. When they inevitably found nothing that would help them, they left. An hour or so later, Daisuke's screams echoed through the hall. The door was upon, but the position they were on didn't allow him to see much. But he did see how Swansea held the ax above Daisuke. Then, Daisuke's breathing stopped echoing in the halls, then Jimmy came and grabbed the gun….

The fucking gun that was under him all along.

The gun Anya hid because she was afraid of him. And he couldn't understand why at that time.

And now that he does, he can't help but laugh, as strong as his body allows him. He can't do anything anymore, he's fucking useless, he can't do a damn thing. He can't be a good captain, a good friend.

A fucking decent human being in general.

Then there came the struggling, the echo of the gunshots.

He knew he was next.

He thought he was next.

He wished he was next.

How? How could he not see the type of creature that it was Jimmy?

His crew, what once was his crew, their bodies, crudely slumped against the chairs around the table. A party, for the death and the damned, a judgment for the two sinners left in this godforsaken coffin.

Your body was on the left, next to Anya's corpse. The way blood seeped from your face told a horrifying story of your last moments on this world, at the mercy of the monster that now held him. How he wished he could have been there, to protect you, to protect all of them.

How he wished this was nothing but a nightmare, that he could wake up at any moment, go to the lounge and wait for you to appear in your groggy state, still having droll on your cheek and your uniform all messy. He would give you something to drink, maybe not coffee. The machine would always be empty.

But once again, his illusions were shattered with the piercing pain of the knife sawing his flesh.

He screamed, from the pain of his flesh being slayed and his bone being broken, from the sight of his crew rotting around a table, reduce as nothing put twisted puppets for Jimmy's entertainment, for the person he cherished and gave him a reason to keep going, the one who gave him a future, gave him bliss even if they were on the bottom of the deeps of hell and made him feel that his dreams were true, motionless in front of him, and he wasn't able to even say goodbye.

He wasn't even granted the mercy of death. The demon didn't allow it. His twisted conscience believed he could somehow redeem himself if he managed to keep him alive.

Even if it means feeding him his own leg.

Even if it means putting him in the last cryopod while the coward escaped by the least painful way.

He didn't even have the strength to curse him one last time.

As the cold ice burned his exposed flesh, he couldn't help but wonder if things could have been different somehow. If he had the strength to oppose Jimmy, to at the very least stop him from crashing the ship. Would it be different?

It probably doesn't matter anymore. Not when he is going to spend the next twenty years or so frozen in time. He doesn't want anyone to come, a captain must go down with the ship after all.

Death sounds better if you are waiting for him on the other side.

[radioactivemelody]

Idolatry in Homura's and Madoka's relationship.

Idolatry: worship of idols. very great admiration or respect for someone, often too great.

It may be or not be a grand aspect that is shown throughout the series but trust me, it is there and it's there since the beginning. To understand what I am trying to explain here, let's begin with probably the most obvious example of idolatrism towards someone: Mami Tomoe.

By the time of span from the first to third episode, Mami is shown to be the "perfect Puella Magi and what they truly should represent". She fights for justice, protecting innocent civilians from the evil known as Witches and that is exactly the image Madoka and Sayaka creates of her until her death. On the third episode, when Madoka is saying that she wants to be just like her, Mami herself basically says she's not worthy of being someone's idol. Even after seeing Mami's true feelings and later, her death, Madoka still does see her in such a "holy" light; it's expected since that was the image Mami left for them and they culminated. And by culmination, from the duo, Sayaka is the only one who has a much more pure picture of her mentor in her head because she didn't saw Mami's true side like Madoka did. With that, Sayaka tries to continue Mami Tomoe's (impossible) legacy and we all know how things end.

In the case of Homura and Madoka, it's a bit more complex. I won't explain too much on Homura's side because it's pretty damn clear and obvious and I will be just repeating things that has been said and regurgitated through 10 years. But Homura's idolatrism of Madoka starts on the first timeline, more specifically, when she gets saved by her from a Witch. There, her initial picture of Madoka drastically changes - the sweet and kind girl she met at school to this (sweet and kind) fighting heroine who saved her life. I could say it's kind of a pipeline: Madoka wants to be just like Mami. Homura wants to be just like Madoka. All those mental pictures were created by admiration and idolatry. And by idolatry, comes expectations.

Before I talk about that, let me talk about Madoka's side now. She is a girl who normally tries to see the good and bright side of things and this shines perfectly with her relationship with Homura. Madoka tries to constantly deny that Homura is "not that great of a person", no matter how much Sayaka believes that. She saw her hurting Kyubey and being the one faulted for causing Mami's death and yet, Madoka never stopped treating Homura with kindness; That is highlighted on episode four. Meanwhile Sayaka treats Homura with harshness because of what happened with Mami, Madoka doesn't because she thinks it wasn't her fault (that is partially true) and therefore, maintains a picture of Homura being "a hero" for saving their lives from the Witch. This picture is maintained until the end of the anime.

The biggest shatter of Homura's expectations towards Madoka is when she makes her wish and sacrifices herself. That was not what she wanted, that was not what she expected. Madoka wasn't supposed to do that. And just like we all know, this is one of the main factors of why Rebellion happened. Just like Madoka had her expectations of Homura's shattered as well. Homura is not a bad person, then why she would do that? Why would she rip her from her status so callously? We still haven't seen Madoka's feelings on this subject and I truly hope the fourth movie discusses it, but I do believe Madoka's entire mental picture of Homura will change. Not in a hateful, bitter way but it will change in some way.

This idolatry, high regard they hold on each other so much it's what keeps the cycle going on. One day, they need to learn and dismantle the "perfect" mental image both of them have or otherwise they will never reach a true consensus and this tug of war will have some serious consequences (more than it already has).

TL;DR: they need to sit down and talk. for real.

[rafesslxt]

Showerhead 2 | mattheo riddle

pt. 2 — you can find pt. 1 here

summary: after you and mattheo had some fun in the shower, you two can‘t stop thinking about each other and that night. But who gives in first to sin again after a little jealousy?

words: 5,1k

warnings: heavy dirty talk again, cursing, making out, dry humping, teasing, controlling, praising, bj, unprotected p in v, shower, swallowing, legilimency (mind reading),

note: you don‘t have to read part 1 for this part but have fun if you want to

— in the great hall —

After that night in the shower 2 weeks ago, I couldn‘t stop thinking about it. I dreamed about it in my sleep, daydreamed about it in class and lunch while Hermione talked about some book we needed to read to understand everything in potions.

I hated it but everytime we crossed paths, he winked at me and I couldn't help myself but start blushing. As soon as I saw his face, I saw it between my legs.

"Y/n? Are you even listening?" Hermione says and shakes me a litte at my shoulder. "What? Yeah yeah of course, I'm gonna read it." They all look at each other before their eyes are on me again. "We were actually talking about how Cormac seems to have quite interest in you." Harry then continues.

I start laughing loud, looking at them as If each of them has 3 heads." What the hell are you talking about?" "Told ya she's not listening.." Ron says, raising his eyebrows as he bites into his toast.

"I thought he‘s interested in Hermione?" I ask as my laughter calms down a bit. "Harry heard him talking about how he would - well.. do certain things to you." My amused face turns into a disgusting one as I hear what Ron says.

"Yeah and guess who‘s got an invention to Slughorn‘s dinner?" Hermione says with raised eyebrows.

Ron looks at her shoked. "What?? That prick got one and I didn‘t?"

"Oh god no.." a few days ago Harry, Hermione and myself got an invention to tonights Slughorn‘s dinner for his favorite students. ".. but wait, how do you know who‘s coming?" I ask her. "I just asked him after the last lesson of potions. It‘s Neville, Ginny, Blaise Zabini, Mattheo Riddle, Corma –" "Mattheo Riddle?" I ask her shocked, looking at her with wide eyes.

I would see him again? Like.. this close and with people around us? My mind is racing as Hermione answers. "Yeah well, you know he‘s really smart and good in potions." "And he has an interest in special students and Mattheo is.. well – special." Harry comments.

Ron snorts and talks with a full mouth. "Mh yeaw hiff fatha was "speschal".

Hermione rolls his eyes at his full mouth and looks at me again. "Why are you so suprised by his name?" she asks me a little suspicious. " oh uh- just suprised, i always thought Mattheo is uh - not interested in things like that."

"Why would chou think about wat Mattheo is-" "Ron just eat and shut up!" I snap at him making the other two widen their eyes a bit.

I collect my things and stand up from the table. "I‘m gonna go to.. god i don‘t know I‘m gonna go." I say, walking off before they can answer. Because it‘s the weekend I luckily don‘t have classes today. I don‘t think I could concentrate in one of them after the information I just got. God why him? Why me? Maybe I can say I feel sick.. no he would know. I can‘t back down.

I walk down a hall, not thinking where I am going and suddenly crash into something hard but not as hard as a wall. My book and writing stuff falls to the ground and I look up, staring right into the face of Mattheo.

My brain went blank in this monent. "What princess? Aren‘t you happy to see me?" he grins down at me before he gets down and picks up my stuff. "Hm I remember a similar moment, same position." He smiles even more when he sees my red cheeks and not talking mouth. As he gives me my stuff he presses his mouth to my ear and whispers "I‘m looking forward to tonight" And with that, he‘s gone.

I‘m so fucked.

— at the evening —

" Do you know what you‘re wearing?" I ask Hermione while I put on some makeup. I hear her sigh and she goes "yeah I have this one dress I really like. What about you?" I shake my head as I search for my lipliner. " Not really, but I have enough dresses so I‘ll find something." Hermione laughs at my comment as she pulls out her dress and changes into it.

After I‘m done with my makeup and hair, I walk over to my closet, looking for a nice dress.

"What about this one? It would fit perfectly for the occasion." She says as she pulls out a dress of mine. It is long and black, with cute little arms on it. "It‘s pretty but I want something.. else." As i go trough my clothes I think about Mattheo again and what would impress him. God I need to stop it.

"Well what are you looking for?" "Hmm something likeee.. this." It‘s perfect. It‘s short but not too short, i know it sits beautifully on me and.. it‘s green.

(imagine something like this but in some green tone and longer so it‘s more school approved)

Hermione raises her eyebrows and looks at me. "Are you sure? Isn‘t it a little too.. party?" I love her for how she always chose her words wisely and with a knowledge for not hurting and judging people. I know what she meant but she would never think about judging me. Even when I put my clothes on she wouldn‘t pick, she makes me feel great in them.

"Yeah, I‘m sure." I smile, putting it on. When I look into the mirror I smile even more, thinking about how Mattheo will react seeing me in it.

As the time comes we take our purses and walk outside our dorms, meeting Harry and Ron in the common room. "You both look great." Harry tells us like the gentlemen he is but Ron just scans me like a little hater and looks at me. "Isn‘t that a little too flashy?" "Ron!" Hermione hits him on the shoulder.

"Don‘t be mad at what you can‘t have Ronald." I say grinning and winking at him before I link my arm into Harry‘s with Hermione doing the same on his right side.

We walked through Hogwarts, towards the dinner and the closer we got the more my heart started beating as If I‘m running a marathon.

I open the door in front of us after taking one last deep breath and walk inside with my two friends.

Everyone was already there, seated perfectly. "Oh hello you three! I‘m so glad you made it. Please choose a seat and get comfortable." Professor Slughorn greets us. I always liked him, even tho many say he‘s a little weird sometimes but I think thats exactly what I do like about him.

As I walk towards an empty seat, I scan the table, looking at Mattheo when I found him but his eyes were already on my dress.

Quickly I look away, seeing that Cormacs eyes were on me too which made me gag a little.

But god Mattheo looks so good. He wears a simple white shirt with a black tie and black slacks. Damn what I would give to ride his thigh in these – "Y/n you‘re staring." Hermione whispers into my ear, making me realise i stared right at Mattheo, but to my suprise he‘s still looking, not breaking eye contact for a second.

I gulp and look away, feeling my cheeks getting warm. God I hate it so much what kind of affect he has on me. I can‘t be the only one..

Wait. I‘m a woman. I can definitely tease him and make him feel the same.

The dinner goes on, nothing special besides Ginny who came in crying. Definitely have to ask her with Hermione about that later in detail.

As desert comes I look around the table, meeting Cormacs eyes. He licks of some ice cream from his fingers and wiggles his eybrows at me. Oh god I think I‘m gonna throw up.

As soon as I can I look away to Mattheo who was giving Cormac one of his death stares. Interesting.

I don‘t really know why i think it‘s a good idea but i do think it is. So I lean back a little, presenting the low cut at the front of my chest. I see Mattheo‘s eyes flicker to my chest and so do Cormac‘s but Mattheo‘s eyes switch back really fast to Cormac and give him a second glare. Really interesting.

I smile triumphal and lean a bit forwards again, pressing my boobs together this time. Instantly I get a headache but a really intense one. I hiss in pain which makes Harry look at me worried. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I just got an really bad headache.“ i whisper back, wondering what it caused.

Soon the dinner was over and everyone thanked Slughorn for the invitation. "I‘ll stay and try to figure out what that missing memory of Slughorn‘s is." Harry whispers to us before staying behind.

My headache got a bit better but It still didn‘t go away. As we walked trough the door I said to Hermione and Ginny "You guys go to the common room, I‘ll follow. I just wanna get some advil from Miss Pomfrey.“ They nod and tell me that they will go into Ginny‘s room to talk more privately.

It‘s already late and a bit after curfew but Professor Slughorn told us he made sure we would get in no trouble If someone sees us.

I rub my head slighty, trying to ease the pain on my way but nothing helped.

Then, out if nowhere a hand slaps over my mouth and a arm wraps around me, pressing me against a body. I scream into the hand, trying to get myself free until I see who the hand and arm belongs to.

"You didn‘t think I would let you go off that easily in that little dress of yours huh?“ Mattheo breathes against my face as it was only a few inches away from mine.

He slowly takes his hand away from my mouth, letting me speak. "What do you mean?" I ask and try the innocent act but he doesn‘t buy it.

"Oh princess, princess, princess. You can‘t fool me. I know that you wore this excuse of an dress for me. Fuck and also in my house color's? That‘s no fucking coincidence."

I gulp at his words and the fact that he knows who I wore it for. There‘s not even a single chance for me to lie. "And what If I did wore it for someone else?" Only one way and that‘s to push his last buttons. Oh how I wanted to push that buttons until –

"Someone else, yeah? Then who was it for?" "Cormac." As soon as his name left my mouth I regretted it. I see his jaw clenching and his grin fading. "Cormac yeah? So you didn‘t thought about me the whole dinner?" I slowly shake my head no, not daring to move now.

"So you‘re wet for him right now? Not me?" "What? I‘m not–" but as soon as I move my legs I feel it too. Shit. When I only look up at him his grin comes back.

"Yeah that‘s what I thought.. so why don‘t we skip this bullshit and you come with me?" Before I can even answer him, he takes my hand and pulls me trough the corridors, towards the Slytherin common room. " Mattheo I can't-" "Shut up." he hisses and whispers something under his breath so the doors to his common room would open.

"Can't fucking believe you pulled such a show in front of that stupid dick." he growled quietly before we reach his dorm. I start smiling as I see he's getting mad at the fact that Cormac saw me in that dress. "T'fuck you smiling about huh?"

As we enter his room I notice that there is only one bed which makes me wonder. "Don't you have a roommate?" "No, I have my own room." I scoff at his answer and look around his room. It has a big bed beside the window of the room and a little nightstand beside it. On the other side of the room is a big couch and a armchair.

But before I could think about it any further, he pulls me into his lap, face towards his, after he sat down on the armchair. "You know, you could have just told me If you missed me princess. Didn't need to dress all up for me." He puts his hands on my hips, grabbing them tightly.

I roll my eyes at him and act as If I didn't already enjoy his touch. "Didn't miss you." I say, looking away from him. He chuckles and pulls my face back to his with his fingers on my chin. "Are you sure?" I only nod and look into his brown eyes. They look so dark without any light in the room, that they send even more shivers down my spine than usual.

"Is your head better? Still in any pain?" he asks me grinning. "Yeah they-" wait. I never told him about my headache. Or could he hear when I told Hermione and Ginny? Or when Harry asked me at dinner?

His hands slowly wander down to my tights were my dress slowly rose up and placed them there, squeezing my flesh lightly. I felt his breath on my neck, giving me goosebumps. "It's gotten better, right?" he asks again. His lips ghosted over my skin, making me bite my lip.

"How do you know?" I ask him in a whisper. "I know everything that goes through your pretty little mind baby."

I tried to figure out what he meant by that but I couldn't concentrate with his hands on my skin and his lips almost against my neck. I need him so much.

"What baby, can't concentrate? Too much for you already?" he coos and finally kisses my neck, nibbling on the skin between his lips.

I can't believe how easy he gets under my skin with his kisses and whispers, not even doing anything. " I know you dreamed about me these last two weeks, thought about me at every chance you got. In class, in the shower, wishing it was me who touched you." he groaned against my throat.

My eyebrows squeeze together at his words. " How would you know that?" "Did you never wonder why your head always hurted at the same times?" I gasp and pull my neck away from him. " Are you reading my mind?" my eyes go wide as he just smiles at me sheepishly. Oh my god, no. This can't be. He's not allowed to know all these private thoughts.

"You don't know how hard it was for me to stay away and wait until you would come back to me but you little minx didn't and after tonight.. I couldn't just let you slip away from me again."

"Y-you can't do that Mattheo. That's not allowed. These are my thoughts." "I know baby but I couldn't help myself after that night in the shower. You were like a dream coming true so submissive and responsive to me. Fuck I'm already getting hard just thinking about it. But you understand I didn't have a chance, right? I couldn't risk you thinking about someone else then me."

He slowly pulled my dress up, exposing my tights and underwear. "God are you for real? Did you plan this?" he groans as he sees my matching set, a dark green lingerie set.

He pulls me closer to him, looking deep into my eyes.

"Ride my thigh." he commands and puts his hands back on my hips. "What?" I ask, looking at him dumbfounded. " It's my thigh or nothing. I'm not helping you getting off this time." I look at him with my mouth hanging open in shock. How could he be so cruel?

"C'mon, ride it baby I know you thought about it at dinner." My cheeks got red as he mentioned that. He dips his head towards my neck again and starts covering it in wet kisses. "Don't test my patience, love." he whispers and tightens his grip on my hips, moving them slowly. I gasp at the sudden friction.

"Feels good, right?" I only nod, closing my eyes as I start to move my hips in circles against his thigh. I feel so dirty doing this but at the same time it feels so good to finally get the friction I needed the last weeks again.

I feel my clit rubbing against my underwear, making me whimper and move my hips faster. "Fuck, look at you. I thought you were desperate back in the shower but now you're just getting yourself off on my thigh like a dirty little whore." I moaned at his words combined with his kisses on my skin. His lips went lower, first towards my collarbones, then further down to my chest.

I feel one hand of him wander to my underwear and pushing it to the side so my bare pussy rubbed against the material of his pants. I whine at the feeling, my hands grabbing his broad shoulders. " Oh my god. I'm so close Mattheo." He laughs wickedly against my chest, pushing down my dress so it hangs at the middle of my body. His mouth wanders to my bra, unclasping it with one hand behind my back.

"You're so beautiful baby, never ever am I waiting two weeks again for that." he growls and starts massaging my boobs and playing with my sensitive nipples.

I arch my back, shivers run down my spine at his touch. The grinding get's more and more intense. "Feel this?" he asks as he takes my hand and puts it on his bulge. "It's just for you." I bite my lip and look down at my hand. It looks so painful that I start massaging it through his pants. He bucks his hips up into my touch, his breathing getting heavier.

While still riding his thigh, I open his pants and push them down together with his boxershorts. His already fully hard cock slaps against his stomach before I take him into my hand. I spread the pre-cum over his tip with my thumb and start moving my hand up and down. "Shit princess.." he hisses, thrusting his hips up into my hand.

"I'm so close Mattheo.." I whine as I almost start rutting my hips against him. "Come on my leg baby, do it." he groans, lips apart.

I let go of his cock for a moment to dig my nails into his shoulders for support as I press my throbbing clit harder against him. He takes his cock into his hand and jerks himself off as he watches me panting and moaning.

With a deep twisting feeling in my stomach I come all over his thigh, riding out my orgasm.

"So good for me, look at how much you came." he says and I look down at his pants, a big wet spot on them now. My legs still shake from my high and I look up at him again.

Mattheo's POV:

Fuck. I don't know what it is but I have a feeling that this girl is going to be the death of me. With hooded eyes she looks up at me and almost get's me to cum in my own hand just from her eyes looking into mine. She had such a chokehold on me, but I will never admit that to her.

I smile down at her before I speak "already fucked out again and I didn't even touched you." The same thing I told her two weeks ago after I've eaten her pussy and she came after 3 minutes.

"Fuck off." she mumbles and falls slightly against my chest. "As much as I enjoy this closeness baby.." I start, nodding towards my rock hard cock, laying against my stomach.

I push a strand of hair behind her ear and whisper into it. " Suck on it." Her eyes go wide and she looks down on me with those innocent eyes again. " Don't tell me you never sucked cock with those pretty lips." I say, looking at her plump lips, almost begging to be fucked.

She rolls her eyes at me again, making me want to choke her until she stops. " I have." Her answer makes my clench my jaw, wishing she would've just said she didn't.

I pushed her down in front of my legs. I grab a pillow from the couch beside us and put it under her knees, making her grin. " Don't tell me you suddenly care for me Matty?" Now I am the one who rolls his eyes.

I grab her pretty hair into a ponytail and push her towards my cock. She takes it into her hand and starts to lick off the pre-cum from my tip. A moment later she starts sucking on my tip, making me smile. I have a feeling this is going to be good.

I hiss as her wet lips and warm mouth take more of my cock into her mouth. I close my eyes and let my head hang backwards. " Come on y/n, show me what you got."

Suddenly she takes me all the way down her throat, my eyes almost bulging out of my head and my mouth falling open. "Oh fuck, yeah!" I groan, gritting my teeth together. I swear I could feel her smile around me.

She bobs her head up and down in a fast pace, making me moan and groan like a little bitch. Fuck, what is it with this girl?

I feel my tip hitting the back of her throat. " Oh Shit." I lift my head up to look down at her. Her eyes are teary and her hands support herself on my tights. I start grinning, wishing I could take a picture of her pretty mouth around me.

Her throat clenches around me so delicious I almost came. "Hmm baby, you know how to suck cock. Gonna give you that." I pant.

One of her hands go down to my balls, massaging them. " Oh - " I throw my head back again, feeling something in my lower stomach. My hips buck up and I hear her gag, only getting me closer to my high. "M' gonna cum down your throat and you'll swallow it, yeah?" I ask her, breathing heavy. It doesn't take me long to cum and fill her mouth. "Fuckkk.." I groan, pushing her down even harder so her nose touches my stomach.

"Swallow it. All of it." I slowly let go of her, but seeing her cough a little only fuels my desire. She opens her mouth after she swallows and shows me that she swallowed every single drop.

"That's a good girl. Now come on.. let's take a shower." I say grinning at her and helping her back up. "Mattheo I don't know If I can walk so far." she sighs as she stands on her still shaky legs.

I kiss the top of her head, something I never do but just feels right with her. " You don't have to. I have my own shower." I pick her up bridal style and carry her towards my bathroom."

Y/n's POV:

As he picks me up to carry me, I feel a few butterfly's in my stomach but I try to suppress them.

He let's me down when we stand under his shower. His clothes hit the floor. "Hot or cold?" he ask, putting his hand on the tap. "Hot." I say and watch his back. Last time I didn't noticed but he has big scars all over his back, some even on his chest. He must see my face cause he asks me "What's wrong?" I shake my head and try to smile.

"Nothing." I see it in his eyes that he doesn't buy my lie but doesn't push me either. As the warm water hits my skin, I sigh in relief. I let my hair get wet and wash off the makeup I had on. While I did so, Mattheo stands right behind me, his hands on my hips, scanning my face.

I open my eyes and see him looking. " What?" I ask grinning. " You're beautiful." I roll my eyes and look away again, trying to hide my blush. "You don't have to try to get into my pants. You already are." He turns me around and holds my face. " Hey.. I really mean it. And not just your body. Your face is prettier than the ones of angels." My eyes widen at his words, not expecting that kind of words from him.

He clears his throat and looks away for a moment himself. That's when I grab his face in both my hands and crash my lips into his. The kiss is hungry, more passionate and different than the last times. More tender.

One of his hands slide up and down my back, while the other lays on my hip. "You make me crazy, princess." he admits, mumbling against my lips. I smile into the kiss. "Don't go soft Mattheo." I say, teasing him.

He starts kissing my neck, but less soft and more aggressively now. "Remember who's in charge here baby. I would choose your words wisely." He lifts me up so I wrap my legs around his waist. "This time I wanna see your face when I fuck you."

He takes his cock into his hand and positions it at my entrance, teasing me with it. „Mattheo come on, fuck me.." i huff out frustrated. "Beg for it, wanna hear you beg again like the last time I fucked you." I roll my eyes at his ego, but still do as he tells me to. "Please, I'm already begging you to fuck me."

Ge grins down at me and slowly pushes inside me, holding eye contact the whole time. His lips part and his eyes get lazy. "Fuck, you feel just as good as the first time I fucked you stupid."

I want to bite back but only bite my lip as he starts thrusting in a fast and hard pace. "What was that? I'm going soft princess?" His grip on my hips gets tighter and he starts kissing my neck up and down. " N-no you're not.." I whimper, closing my eyes and letting my head fall back against the wall.

What was is that he had me under his control so much? Not even a single brain cell told me to not do as he says. I can't with this boy..

His lips work their way up to my ear and he whispers "I'm a man baby, a boy wouldn't fuck you like I do. " Goosebumps erupt over my body and again he's right. " Stop messing around in my head." I growl lightly, supressing a moan in my throat. "You're all mine. I don't give a shit about how you see that, cause I know your body screams for mine every night. And it will never get someone else's. Do you understand?"

He stops kissing my neck and looks at me while thrusting his hips against mine. A shiver run down my spine as I looked into his eyes, but this time not a good one. It was ice cold. I never saw him looking tat serious and cold. Possesive. "Do. You. Under. Stand." he asks me again, deep and hard thrust for every word.

"God yes, Mattheo. I understand!" I cry out as his fingers find their way towards my clit, rubbing it in circles. My nails leave marks all over his back, drawing a little blood.

He starts hissing but laughing at the same time at the pain. He's gonna be the death of me. "No, you're gonna be mine, princess. Do that again with your nails, turns me on." As I don't, he mumbles a quite "okay" and presses me harder against the shower wall, fucking me even deeper and more brutal. My nails find their way back inside his skin and I'm sure If we had been o the bed It would be broken by now.

"When are you gonna learn to not be a little brat, huh?" he asks, a smirk on his face. "I own you now, baby." I let out half a snort half a chuckle. " Do I own you then too?" I ask sarcastically. " You own every inch of me."

My face falls a little at his answer, not expecting it. Did he mean that?But as soon as my thoughts started, I forgot them as he starts to rub my clit even harder, but in a steady rhythm.

"Oh yeah look at that in pleasure twisting face, that's fucking it." he groans, his thrust becoming more erratic. One hand leaves my hip and wraps itself around my throat, squeezing it with the perfect amount of pressure. A broken scream leaves my lips with my eyes rolling back.

"Yeah scream so loud Cormac hears who‘s name you‘re moaning tonight." I press my lips together but he squeezes my throat tighter. My walls clench around him, making him lose his control, eyes rolling back a bit with a smile to it. "I love that pussy so much fuck.I bet he can't fuck you like I can, huh?"

This time my answer comes in a instant. " No- no he can't. I'm so close Mattheo, please." I moan as I feel this deep twisting feeling in my stomach. His lips meet mine, to my surprise. Unlike how he fucks, he kisses me soft and passionate. "Come around me baby.Please fucking come around me." he groans almost desperate.

And just like that I let go and let the feeling of my orgasm overflow me. "Hm shit.. can I come inside you baby?" Mattheo pants against my lips while he looks down between us. I just nod quickly, feeling him coming inside me a few seconds later. "Shit.." a whimper leaves his lips as he fills me up.

My stomach twists again at the sound so I look at him and scan his face for a moment. I think that's the hottest sound my ears ever came across. He looks fucked out too, his eyes heavy.

He slowly pulls out but still holds me. "You make me so addicted." he confesses to me, looking between my eyes and lips. I had to. " So you're going soft now again?" I tease him, out of breath.

He chuckles lowly which ends with me bent over every single surface in his room.

I don't know how long I can survive in that.

—

I just know ya‘ll hate and love me for posting this.. after weeks :) <3

There‘s gonna be a part 3, the final then. Hehe.

Taglist: @idk-simra @kindnessspreads @purplegardenwhispers @glittervame @oxi8 @lovelyygirl8 @yakosobaboba | thank you for supporting guys 🫶🏻

I created a Tag List Form if you‘re interested: Taglist Form

xoxo sarah <3

[boxingcleverrr]

Popular Hades & Persephone "retellings" are, rightly, getting dunked on all over the socials right now and, as a Pagan who has an altar to the Queen, I could not be happier. But also, I feel like a lot of people miss WHY they're bad - aside from just plain bad writing and lazy tropes. Which are, yeah, also REALLY bad.

Pretty much all retellings try to wave away, or excuse, or twist the whole kidnapping bit. And I actually do have sympathy and understanding for why, when speaking from a modern perspective.

But honestly...you gotta get over it. There are other stories to play fix-it with, not this one.

The Abduction is The Thing.

Were I a little more sober I could bring up chapter and verse of the Hymn to Demeter but frankly, if you know even the middle school mythology curriculum version of the story, you SHOULD know the themes. The story of Persephone was one mothers and daughters in the ancient world held dear, because it was a reality: you will, one day, be swept away from your home to go cleave to a man you most likely know nothing about. You will miss your mother, but chances are very good that he will be a good husband, once you get to know him, certainly better than Zeus or Ares, and he will make you a queen of his home.

Leaving home to marry was often scary, and violent (look up the history of the tradition of Bridesmaids, if you don't already know it - they were originally decoys on the marriage road). Centuries later we'd have tales like Beauty & The Beast serving the same function: comfort, hope, you are leaving your safe loving home to figure life out with a (often older, powerful) stranger. Your trauma over this sudden ending of your childhood made manifest in a Beast, or a God of The Underworld.

It's wonderful that we don't NEED stories like this anymore to comfort us (here, at least, in this culture). But if you try to force them into modern vernacular it just will not work, not really, because you're gutting out the whole point just to have a more tidy romantic male hero.

I have read MANY very good ...novelizations? fanfic(? however you would frame them, but they're certainly not "retellings"), etc. that simply take advantage of the blank spaces in the myth, and there are many!

It's not explicit that sexual assault happens - "The Rape of Persephone" as a title was coined in much earlier eras, when the word was just as often used to simply refer to abduction.

"She was starving!" the gods didn't need to eat. So it's easy to read her eating the Pom seeds as a deliberate choice on her part. Like, shit, people, scholars have written whole papers on the symbolism of this moment, between marriage rites and even yeah, Seph choosing both worlds with her husband's knowing consent.

And that, I think, is the real heart of the thing. People want an utterly mundane, spelled-out story here, as opposed to what it really is, has always been, just like any other myth or religious parable: IT'S A METAPHOOOOOOR.

They don't need to be destined, or meet at a goddamned BALL and then CONSPIRE to fake her kidnapping, or shit, I once saw one where Hades got MIND CONTROLLED by Zeus?! Jesus.

Persephone was yoinked into the Underworld against her will.

That's how it went.

I don't mean this in a "stay out of my belief system!" way, shit I'm a white American chick with delusions of witchery. I mean this in a "stop stressing yourself out trying to make things palatable" way:

This is a very real, very precious myth to many people, BECAUSE for at least that one event, Persephone had no autonomy, BECAUSE for thousands of years most women had no autonomy. Erasing that, sanitizing the fact that a girl is ripped out of the spring, from her mother's arms, is erasing the thing that gave comfort to women for centuries. And people can and should still find power and healing in it now!

Fill in the blanks the story leaves in whatever manner seems fit to you, there's plenty of room, but. Come the fuck on.

[sillyuin]

I'm all yours

Genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, very domestic fluff.

Pairing: Mingyu x gn!reader.

Warnings: Reader is ill, barely proofread, Mingyu husband material.

- Yuin's note: I forgot I'm self-aware and wrote the most delulu and self-indulgent thing I'd ever write. An ode to my fellow carats who are also getting through sickness.

You didn’t hear the door open, the cheerful voice of Mingyu was the only thing perceptible beyond the pain you were feeling, and even thought it supposed to make you happy, it was difficult to smile. It was much easier to rest your head on his shoulder, wrap your arms around his waist with the little strength you could have, and brush your lips against his neck with a gentle kiss.

“I'm here,” Mingyu responded by hugging you gently, your body trembled slightly and felt cold to the touch. “How was your day?”

“Bad…” you whispered, your voice breaking. “It’s been… the worst…”

The words got stuck in your throat and your mind went blank; the physical pain was so strong it prevented you from speaking. You felt helpless—why was it so hard to just say that your ear hurt? Or was that really all that was bothering you?

Your trembling hands clung to Mingyu's sweater in a hug so tight it almost hurt, while you hid your face in his chest to keep him from seeing your eyes fill with tears. But what started as a weak sob soon turned into an intense wail, impossible to ignore.

“Hey, y/n,” Mingyu patted your back to try to get your attention, but the more he tried to soothe you, the more futile it became.

“I'm sorry,” you whispered between sobs. “… I’ve felt so … alone.”

Mingyu patiently led you to the sofa, where you both sat down. Seeing you cry so inconsolably broke his heart; hearing your trembling, fragile voice expressing all sorts of sad things… It seemed so unfair that only you were going through it.

However, watching you catch your breath little by little was quite comforting.

You told him how your day had gone while he held one of your hands and gently stroked your cheek with the other. Physically, you felt terrible, but the contact of his skin against yours made everything a little more bearable, as if the pain were not that important…

“My neck hurts all over,” you indicated where it hurt with your finger, and he frowned, as if he somehow understood what you were describing. “I don’t think the medicine is helping…”

“This is the second time this year…” Mingyu sighed, frustrated. “Maybe you should change your treatment.”

“Again?” you complained. More than stressed, you were starting to feel depressed. “I’ve lost count of how many pills I’ve taken…”

The truth was he didn’t quite know what to say; he was worried, his mind a jumble of questions. All he could do was hugging you and that was all you needed in that moment.

You had spent the day alone while he was out at work, feeling upset and very sad, but it was better to take the moment to forget a little about all the negative thoughts attacking your mind.

Mingyu seemed to be the only remedy at that moment, and you clung tenaciously to that.

“Tomorrow we’ll talk to the doctor,” Mingyu pulled away a little and patted your hair. “For now, I'm all yours. Tell me what you want and I'll do it.”

You lowered your gaze shyly, wondering whether to say what was on your mind, but you felt encouraged by hearing Mingyu’s laughter. He knew you so well; there was nothing you could hide from him.

“What do you want for dinner?” His face was only a few centimeters from yours, and you started to feel a bit shyer.

“Pizza…?” you lifted your face slightly, giving him puppy eyes.

“Weren’t you on a diet?” Mingyu raised an eyebrow, but your pouty face was more convincing than him. “Alright, but only this time.”

About twenty minutes later the doorbell rang, announcing the delivery. You both sat down at the dining table and ate together while he told you about his day at work, chatting and laughing as if you hadn’t seen each other in ages.

Having Mingyu by your side was one of the best things that had ever happened to you because no matter how terrible the day had been or how sad it was to be ill; you could always have his company and comfort at the end of the day, and that made even the bad things worth it.

After dinner, you both sat on the living room couch to watch a movie, a warm blanket covering you as you searched for something to watch. Suddenly, he stopped what he was doing to focus all his attention on you.

“y/n, how do you feel now?” he tilted his head slightly while smiling.

“Better,” you replied, a little livelier.

“If you’re okay, I’m okay,” he turned his gaze back to the TV screen, holding the remote as he started scrolling through the channels. “Let me know if there’s anything you want to watch.”

“Actually…” You took the remote and turned off the TV. A surprised Mingyu was ready to object and defend himself, but he froze when he felt your head resting in the nook of his neck, one of your legs wrapped around his. “… I just want to hear you.”

“Shall I tell you about when I almost set the kitchen on fire because I was drunk?” Mingyu said casually, his hand resting on your waist.

“I was there, remember?” It sounded more like a tragicomedy than anything else. “The worst ramen you ever made.”

You both laughed softly; you were exhausted, and the night grew heavier while the dim light from a nearby lamp made everything feel more intimate, cozier.

“I love your voice,” you said lazily, your body nearly collapsing on top of him. “Sing for me, Gyu.”

In the silence of the living room, under the warm blanket, you finally managed to rest peacefully without thinking about the pain that tormented you. In the distance, you could hear his voice, tired yet charming at the same time, as you closed your eyes, feeling the warm beats of his heart against yours.

[kyra-cooneyx]

dive — k.mccabe x reader

summary: after a few dates with katie, it seems like your relationship isn’t blossoming as you’d like so you write a song about your feelings towards her

your phone buzzed for what felt like the thousandth time that hour and you balled up the paper with lyrics scrawled on it, throwing it in the general direction of the device.

you knew it wasn’t katie calling so you made no move to answer it. you gripped the pencil tighter in your hand, sighing quietly as you went over the date in your mind. it had been over a week, you thought it had gone well, but you’d hardly heard from her since. so something must’ve gone wrong.

with a sigh, you grabbed a different piece of paper and began rewriting the lyrics that were floating around your head.

oh, maybe i came on too strong

maybe i waited too long

maybe i played my cards wrong

oh, just a little bit wrong

baby i apologize for it

one thing you prided yourself on was being honest in your music, often writing songs about your life to get your feelings out in a healthy way. they didn’t always get recorded, sometimes they were written and kept hidden.

and at first you weren’t sure what was going to happen with your currently unnamed song but the more you wrote, the more you fell in love with it.

so as soon as you found the time, you were in the studio, writing and recording until you were incredibly happy with what you’d produced.

you were listening to it properly for the first time when the door behind you opened. you weren’t worried about who it could be as only certain people had access to the room.

“hey you,” and one of them just so happened to be leah williamson. “watcha working on?”

“a song.”

“no way,” leah deadpanned and you turned to her with a blank stare. “grace said you’ve been cooped up in here for days. i’m assuming this is why.”

grace carter, a long time friend who introduced you to leah after you disclosed that you were a gooner who then introduced you to katie.

“uh huh,” you nodded. “you like?”

“i do,” leah nodded this time, sitting in the seat next to you. “am i right in assuming that is about my irish friend?”

you hummed quietly. “has she… said anything about me?”

“are you kidding?” leah scoffed. “all she does is talk about you, it’s actually kind of annoying.”

“oh.” is all you could say, not really sure what to do with the information you’d received.

leah’s eyebrows furrowed at how confused you looked, leaning forward in her chair. “i feel like i’m missing something.”

“well she hasn’t called since our date so hearing you say that she talks about me just doesn’t make a lot of sense.”

“no, it doesn’t, does it?” she sighed. “come to the game next week, you can talk to her then.”

“i’m not allowed to say no, am i?”

“nope. i will drag you to the emirates by your hair if i have to.”

-

katie’s eyes widened as she spotted you laughing with leah and beth. it wasn’t a shock that you were there, she just wasn’t expecting to see you sporting a jersey with her across your shoulder blades.

she made her way over, reaching for your hand and tugging you away from the pair and away from prying eyes. you frowned a little.

“are you okay?” she asked quietly.

“why haven’t you called me?”

katie blinked. “i didn’t think you’d want me to.”

“why on earth would i not want you to?” you stared at her with wide eyes. “did something happen on our date that i’m not aware of? i have no idea what’s happening right now.”

katie’s face softened a little, sighing as she reached to smooth out the crease between your furrowed brows. “i take it you haven’t seen well anything that’s been going on on twitter.”

“i don’t have twitter and i rarely go on social media, why—what’s happening?”

“someone took a picture of us on our date and it was clear that we were on a date. i know that you’re not out yet and when it eventually blew up and you didn’t call me, i thought that it might’ve freaked you out so i wanted to give you space because i know how hard that conversation can be.”

“oh,” you sucked in a breath. “i don’t really know what to say.”

“it’s okay you don’t have to say anything—“

“no i do so uh thank you, i guess. it sent my anxiety through the roof not hearing from you but the reasoning is sound and kind of sweet. and just so you know i really don’t care what any of those people say or think. and besides it’s none of their business.”

“i should’ve known that you’d say something like that after seeing you in this,” katie tugged at the jersey, laughing softly at the flush on your face. “good choice by the way.”

“thanks,” you murmured bashfully. “i know that leah told you i’d be here but did she say anything else?”

katie shook her head. “no, why?”

“well when leah invited me we were in the studio and listening to a song that i’d recorded and i thought she’d tell you. clearly she did not but… do you want to hear it?”

“i’d love to.”

around fifteen minutes later, you were situated in the studio, shuffling nervously in your chair, the song coming to an end. you looked at katie hopefully.

there was a thoughtful look on her face. “was that about me?”

“maybe,” you shrugged. “did you like it? leah did so if you don’t, it’s about her.”

you giggled at the scowl on katie’s face, watching as if slowly turned into a smirk.

“so i’m like your muse?” she asked and you rolled your eyes playfully.

“suppose so,” you hummed. “it’s called dive by the way.”

“well i love it,” she proclaimed. “and not just because it’s about me. it’s a really good song.”

“thank you.”

silence fell over you both and you could see katie giving everything a look over, a look of genuine curiosity etched onto her face. she turned to you then and you were half expecting her to ask a question about the studio or something else about the song.

“i think the girls are at a pub down the road, fancy going?” she asked instead and you tilted your head as you pretended to think.

“oh i don’t know i’ll have to check my diary, i’m a pretty busy woman,” you sighed, sitting forward and lazily flipping through the music notes. “but i suppose i can spare some time for a pretty girl and her friends.”

when you turned back around, you didn’t expect to see katie’s face turn pink and as much as you wanted to call her out on it, you decided not to.

“come on then,” you said, standing up and holding your hand out to her. “i haven’t got all day mccabe, get a move on.”

katie rolled her eyes and stood, taking your hand and lacing your fingers with hers. you ignored the butterflies in your stomach and let her drag you around, leading you to whatever pub her teammates had chosen.

“you’re buying first.” you told katie as soon as you walked into the establishment.

“why me?”

“because i wrote a song about you, the least you can do is buy me a drink.”

“fair enough.”

she gently shoved you into the direction of the girls and you practically jumped onto leah’s lap, laughing as she grunted before forcing you into the seat next to her.

katie soon joined, squeezing in next to you. the conversation flowed easily between everyone and just as beth announced that she wanted to take a picture, you felt katie’s arm slip around your waist.

you turned to look at her with a smile as she pulled you closer, both of you failing to notice the phone pointing in your direction.

a tap on your knee broke your gaze and you turned back around for the picture, shooting up to have a look at it before asking beth to send it to you.

your eyebrows furrowed when two pictures came through but that fluttery feeling was back as you smiled down at the second one she sent. you made sure katie liked it before posting them on instagram because you meant what you said to katie earlier that day.

you didn’t care what anyone else thought about your relationship or your sexuality. you had katie and that’s all that mattered.

[lieskuu]

" A little hungry.. "

{ 希望 } Dazai Osamu x FTM!Reader

Genre : SMUT.. LIKE PURE SMUT .. Includes : Reader didn't have his bottom surgery yet so usage of 'pussy' or 'clit', praise kink, pussy eating, top!Dazai, bottom!Reader, and worship.. kind of semi-public sex? not sure (〃＾∇＾) A/n : I have so much to do, it's tiring but why not write some fanfics because I'm going insane/j ALSO IF YOU CALL ME WEIRD I'M ALSO FTM. !! DNI FEMALE READERS !!

Originally, you were just visiting his agency to bring him some lunch, though.. I suppose he wanted a different type of lunch. It wasn't long since your whines and moans started filling up the room, your eyes glancing toward the brunette who was gripping your thighs as his tongue glided on your pussy, looking up at you as his eyes filled with lust. Your thumb rubs your clit as you could feel Dazai sucking onto you as if you were his last meal, his eyes closed as he let the taste sink in his tongue. " mmh.. good.. " He mumbled against your tulips, caressing your thighs as he continued to lick and suck, your eyes rolled back from pleasure as you felt his tongue go inside, your legs wrapping around Dazai's head, " 'Samu..! ngh.. " You cried out as your legs squished him just a little. " Sh..shh it's okay, you're doing so well f'me. " He murmured, his gaze softened a little as he looked up at you, " You're so.. pretty.. ", he praised between licks. Your moans were like sweet music, he would love to listen to them every day, just like your voice, sweet like honey, how much he wanted to taste you in his mouth and just feel that sweetness linger on his tongue, your soft and smooth body that he always clings onto as if it were to disappear, he loved to worship you as if you were his king. His thoughts were just blank as he looked at your face, all he could think about was how beautiful you are. " Samu.. pl..please..! " You cried once more, your tears falling out of your eyes like raindrops, pleading for him, " 'm gonna.. c.. " Your words were cut off by Dazai going deeper, earning a whine from you, Dazai let out a small chuckle, " Good boy.. you're doing amazing, my love. " Your back arched and your legs trembled, fuck, you felt it coming.. close.. " 'm c..close! " you sobbed out loudly, the detective's tongue went a little deeper, pulling himself close to you as his nose just tickled your pussy, wanting to swallow every drop of your cum. He mumbled. It didn't take long before white liquid splattered all over his tongue and a bit onto his face, Dazai was determined to swallow everything, and so he did, pulling away with a little trail of saliva connected to your pussy. " s..sorry, couldn't help myself! " You said with a sheepish smile, Dazai slightly pushed away your thighs before standing up, leaning up close to you and kissing you on the cheek. " It's fine, are you okay? " He asked worriedly. " I'm okay, Osamu. " You reassured him, ruffling his hair a little, but Dazai, as always, couldn't help but ask multiple times. " Are you sure? like you're 100% sure. " " I said I'm okay. " " Are you sure. " " Yes. " " Like 100%-- " His words got cut off by a kiss on the lips just to shut him up, you could taste the bitterness on his tongue a little, it's fine, you didn't really mind. You pulled away from the kiss and sighed, " You worry a lot. ", earning a small chuckle from him, " Why? can't I worry about my boyfriend? " He asked teasingly, kissing you on the cheek once more. " Come on let's get you cleaned. " Dazai said as he stroked your hair, earning a nod from you.

GUYS PLEASE I CAN'T SEE DAZAI DEGRADING HIS S/O SO I HAD TO.. >-< sorry if this is a little bad I'm a little sleepy.

[squoxle]

Can u do a short ff where y/n came from the gym and she’s looking hot as ever. And heeseung is home while he talks to his gamer friends . And when he sees y/n he’s flabbergasted.

Can I? Hmm…I can try😏🖤 (you probably didn't read this b4 you asked. no worries tho...i was itching to start writing for EN- again anyway)

𐙚Heated~L.HS ff 18+𐙚

💋pairing: Heeseung!fwb x Reader!fm | 💋wc: 1.3k | 💋summary: Do I really need to explain this??? basically, you came home after working out, and Heeseung couldn't keep his eyes off your sexy, sweaty body. |💋cw: 🔞MDNI!! unprotected sex, cumshots, fingering, clit stimulation, sexual jokes, pet names [daddy, good girl, baby]=heeseung coded Enjoy :)

"Dammit," you swore as your phone fell out of your pocket. You slid your headphones down to wrap around your neck as you kneeled down to pick up your phone.

"Hey," Jake said as you flipped your phone around, checking for any scratches or cracks. "How was the gym?"

"Ehh nothing too special," you shrugged before lugging your bag over your shoulder. "There was this one guy who kept flirting with me. He even tried giving me his number," you laughed under your breath.

"A guy? Flirting with you? What else did this guy do?" Heeseung spat. It seemed like hearing that pissed him off a bit as his eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"It really wasn't all that. I don't know why you're getting upset anyway. We're just friends. It's not like you're my boyfriend or anything," You said before taking a sip from your water bottle. It was the kind you can use your teeth to yank open, though that may not be the intended way of doing it.

"How'd you know she went to the gym?" Heeseung asked, looking at the other guys as he took his dark eyes off you.

"Uhh...well if I was an asshole--which I'm not--I would say that anyone with a fucking brain could tell by what she went to the gym just by looking at her," Jay said sarcastically as you stood by the door wearing compression tights and a cropped hoodie that covered your sports bra.

"Yeah, that and she told us before she left an hour ago," Sunghoon added.

"Oh," Heeseung said as he went back to staring at you.

You flashed him a puzzled look as he licked his lips before biting on the lower one as he scanned your body up and down. You couldn't believe the bipolar attitude this boy had at times.

"Yo dude! What the fuck was that?" Jay laughed as he saw the way Heeseung was practically drolling over you. "Don't tell me that she's turning you on that easily," Jay continued as he shook Hee's shoulder. "She's literally like a sister to us."

"More like a step-sister," Sunghoon chuckled. "You can see it all over his face. He wants to fuck her just as badly as that guy at the gym," He smirked before turning to look at you himself. He could see how Heeseung could like the way you looked with your hair stuck to the sides of your face from the sweat. Especially when you took off your hoodie, revealing your breasts that were also decorated with sweat that dripped from your collarbone.

"What?" Heeseung shook his head. The thoughts in his mind caused him to go completely blank.

"Woah! Even his little buddy thinks so," Jake threw his head back laughing. Heeseung looked down to see his hard-on bulging in his sweats, before looking over at you.

"Dude you're freaking her out," Jake continued as he looked over to see your flushed face.

"Uhhh...I'm just gonna go," you said awkwardly as you walked to your room.

"Hey, if I were you I'd just be honest and tell everyone how bad I wanna fuck her," Sunghoon smirked.

"Fuck off, man," Heeseung spat as he left the room following behind you.

"What do you want?" You said as you rummaged through your drawers looking for an outfit to put on after your shower.

“I think you already know,” Heeseung said as he closed the door behind him. The thought of your sweaty body bouncing on his cock was enough to get him started.

“Right now? You’re joking…” you said as you placed the stack of clothes on your bed. You were in no mood to engage in some sexual activity with him right now for two reasons. One, it's literally the middle of the fucking day, and two, the guys are still awake sitting in the living room down the hall.

“How do you expect me to react after seeing your hot sexy body covered in sweat?” he said cocking his head to the side as if you could read the horny thoughts running through his mind.

“Umm, disgusted. Like a normal person,” you folded your arms. You were indirectly trying to hint to him that this wasn't a good time, but by the look on his face you could tell that wasn't working.

“Hmm, well that would probably be the case if we didn’t have our little side thing.”

“Okay, you’re either desperate or stupid if you think we’re gonna have sex right now.”

“What if I’m both?” Heeseung said before reaching down to grip his dick through his pants. “I’m aching for you and I know how bad you want me. You just hate to admit that I’m right,” he continued as he walked up to you, placing a delicate yet sensual kiss on your cheek while holding your chin.

“You’re sick,” you spat ripping away from his grip. “And when you’re horny, you’re a fucking dog,” you said picking up your clothes before walking to the door.

“Ah ah ah~” Heeseung said as he held the door shut with his hand. “You know I always get what I want,” he smiled before kissing your neck.

“I said, not right n—“ you were cut off by Heeseung gripping your ass. His fingers reached through your thighs to your pussy. You perked your ass up to give him a better shot as he rubbed against your pussy through the tight fabric.

“What was that you were saying,” Heeseung smiled before sucking on your neck, biting a bit of your skin hard enough to cause you to let out a small moan.

“What if they hear us?”

“Who cares?” Heeseung said as he pressed his dick against your ass.

“Heeseung,” you sighed.

“Relax, just stay quiet and we should be okay,” he pulled down your tights, exposing your ass to him.

You covered your mouth with your hands as Heeseung glided his dick between your folds before pushing himself in.

“Mmph!” You gasped. Heeseung let out a soft chuckle from behind you as he began pounding into your slimy hole.

He gripped your waist with one of his hands while the other he used to stimulate your clit. You braced yourself against the door that slightly knocked from your movements.

“H-Heeseung! A-ah,” you moaned as your walls clenched around his throbbing cock.

“That’s it baby. Take all of Daddy’s dick like a good girl,” he said pumping into you so hard that you were on your toes at this point.

Just as you reached your climax, Heeseung pulled his dick out of you. “What?” You said turning around to see his dick still twitching.

“Get on your hands and knees,” he commanded. “And turn around,” he continued as you dropped down into doggy position.

He didn’t waste time to slam his dick into you, fucking you hard and fast as his thighs slapped against your ass.

“Ah!” You moaned a little too loud.

Heeseung pulled you back, shoving two fingers into your mouth as he kept fucking you. Before you came he shot his cum on your back before getting up to leave the room.

“Wait. Where are you going?” You asked as you pulled your tights back up.

“I’m finished,” he shrugged. “You can go take your shower now. I’m done being a pervert,” he winked before walking down the hall.

“Wh-heeseung?!” You shouted. "Ugh," you huffed, picking up your clothes before walking to the shower.

"What was that all about?" Jay asked as Heeseung plopped down on the sofa next to him.

"Nothing," he smirked. "She's just being dramatic as usual."

"Mhm. Sure," Sunghoon smirked before sitting back.

"Soooo, can we get back to the game now?" Jake asked.

❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!

❀ 𝚃𝚊𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝: @chlorinecake @hoyeonheeseung @nikisdubblchococake @hynjinnn1 @mrswolfhard3 @laylasbunbunny @sussyjake @furious-eagle @cherrriesss @abbyizzy @weyukinluv @addictedtohobi @thatonenoona @wavykook @givemeyourtmihyun @jaeljn @hoonmywk @valennshit @19-yunalyn @hoonbby @frostedblankets @hoonsyo @no-mannerism @perfectxserendipity @chubbibish @ihrtlix @bunniesforsoobin @thereadersparadise @thatbooknerdfr @aiden2001 @belongstoheeseung @jakeybabe @donut-crazs @rizzhee @nikimeows @woonieees @uarmyxtae @rebecca-johnson-28 @they2luv1naia @isa-2007 @silcry @riverscafe @pearlwhitesoul @nikohiroshi @thatbooknerdfr @wonniewonwon @sughoonieeee @babyy-bambii @adrika04 @sehunsharpasseyebrows @wtfyangjungwon @fr-3-akn-4-stymf @rikiloversworld @shawyle @sunoosrightbuttcheek @uarmyxtae @lovesickxmina @urfavberry @urauntiefaye @breadlover01 @taehyunsfavmoa

[528-hotline]

since you take suggestive reqs for gunwook — how do you think making out with him would be like? 👀

pairings | bf!gunwook x gn!reader

genre | fluff, suggestive

a/n 💌 if you feel uncomfy with suggestive themes on gunwook, don’t read. i’m just fulfilling a request (^^) really, really, really sorry for the long wait >< nevertheless, i hope you enjoy anon! i was blushing all over while writing bc my delulu side was showing here… i can’t do this aaa 😖

i think he could be shy and playful, he would be so subtle and gentle along the process. i also feel like he would be handsy all over, he would be caressing your face and neck all over, and touching your arms. you’d feel so small because of his big hands going all over the place. oh, and he would also hold your hands while you kiss!!

also, he makes sure that you’re okay, or he would ask if he was doing fine … afterwards, he asks if you felt uncomfy along the way or anything negative in particular because he wouldn’t want to hurt you :((

“since we shared a lot of kisses with each other… why don’t we take it to the next level..?” gunwook asks shyly, his cheeks all flustered.

“what do you mean by that? and why are you so… pink?” you chuckled, you held his cheeks with both of your hands, instantly feeling his warmth on your palms.

“like uh… make out? you know, the ones you see in movies? o-only if you’re ready! and if that’s okay with you…” he nervously asks you.

usually, both you would just share playful kisses, but it never crossed in your mind doing something like this with him. it doesn’t hurt to try and you trust him anyway.

“hmmm.. i’m cool with it,” you wrapped your hands around his neck, giving him an assuring smile.

“can i? um…” gunwook shyly asks, while pointing at your neck. you chuckled at his cute manner and nodded at him. he takes off his glasses, putting it down on the coffee table. he then attaches his lips on your neck, peppering tiny, playful kisses all over. “it tickles,” you giggled, but he stops.

“why’d you stop?”

“you said it tickles!”

“silly wookie, i was already getting a bit excited!!” you whined, your lips pouting at him for stopping as you away at him, pretending to be sulky.

“you’re so cute when you pout your lips, it makes me want to start… right here…” gunwook brings your head towards where his face is. he caresses your cheek, and then lifts up your chin. you met his eyes, both of you leaning in towards each other, as both of your lips collide at each other.

your mind went blank. all that you could ever think of was drowning into his plush, plump lips. gunwook held your hand as he tilted his head to further deepen the kiss, making you collapse on the sofa pillows. you then wrap your arms around his neck.

he then tries to sneak his tongue in to the crevices of your lips. curious, you also let your tongue out, thinking what he’ll do with it. he then swirls his tongue in to yours and you also did, as your tongues danced in to pure bliss for a while.

a string saliva connecting both of your lips as you both pulled out of each other’s lips, you unwrap your arms that were around his neck. “you good, baby?” he asked you breathlessly before he proceeds even further as your eyes met with his husky ones. you then looked at his face. his cheeks flushed out, lips all swollen, while he’s all breathless from the kiss. “fuck, was he always this hot?” you cursed to yourself, as this image of him slowly engraves into your mind. you stare back on to his eyes for a few more seconds before you nodded to him as a response.

gunwook gave you a soft smile, leaning on to your ear, tucking strands of hair to your ears. “your lips are so soft, as always,” he whispers to your ear. he wraps his hand around the back your torso, and the other held your arm. his lips landed on to your jaw, planting down a few peppery kisses from your jaw, going down to your neck.

he then delicately plants down wet kisses all over your neck. you tilted your head, giving him more access down on your neck. he then holds your waist with his large hands. the feeling of his lips and his hands altogether on you made you knees felt weaker and made your heart skip a beat.

gunwook finishes his kiss by placing one near your ear. “i love you, and i’m glad you trusted me with this one.” he whispers to your ear huskily. god, you always fall even harder when his voice turns even huskier than usual.

“i love you too, my wookie.” you whispered, putting your chin on top of his head. you felt a movement from him, and he then hovers himself on top of you. you were startled by this sudden action, he laughed at your reaction as he kisses your lips sweetly, both of you smiling through the kiss.

you felt a burning flame into your heart, knowing that this moment will bring you both in to a stronger and deeper connection. truly, this moment felt sweet and heavenly for the both of you.

gunwook fixes his position as he lies down by your side, turning around at your side, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. “was i good, baby?” gunwook asks excitedly.

you turned around as you face him, “damn, i didn’t know you can kiss and makeout with a girl that good… then, why didn’t you do it earlier?” you giggled, as the smile on his lips while you complimented him turned into a pout.

“i was shy, okay? now that we’ve been together for months… i–” he stops at his sentence, finding the words as he sighed and gave up after a second. “you know… you get the point!” he says in defense, as you nodded and laughed on how cute he becomes when he’s being defensive on something.

“okay fine, i understand!” you answered back at his defense.

“well anyway, um.. thanks for trusting me and letting me try this for once.” gunwook finally settled down, sincerity and affection flowing through his voice.

“once? only once? that’s lame, i was expecting more from you soon,” you chuckled in response as gunwook rolled his eyes playfully at you.

“well, i’ll give you as many as i want, or as you want!” he giggles and leans in, both of your noses almost sticking at each other.

“that’s more like it, my love.”

[tightjeansjavi]

take a moment to breathe

A/N: so after my medical trauma experience yesterday, I decided to write a little comfort Joel piece to cope. This is totally self-indulgent to me, but I do hope others are able to relate. Besides, who doesn’t love soft! Joel? He’s like a warm hug 🥹

~word count: 2.5k~

Summary: after a failed IUD insertion, your boyfriend, Joel Miller takes care of you.

Pairing | no outbreak! Joel Miller x f! reader

Warnings: medical trauma, failed IUD insertion, torn cervix, isn’t it so fun to be a person with a uterus? Fluff, comfort, soft! boyfriend Joel, he’s so sweet it makes me want to cry, no age gap, reader has no physical descriptions other than one mention of Joel brushing your hair, and then lifting you up from the ground, +18 minors dni!

main masterlist masterlist

“Okay, take a deep breath. You’re going to feel a bit of cramping.”

The fluorescent lights are annoyingly bright as you stare up at the ceiling and focus on taking a deep breath, just as your doctor has requested. You went into the procedure of getting an IUD confidently. You knew that there would be some overall discomfort. Some cramps, but nothing too terrible. It would all be over in the next five minutes and then you wouldn’t have to think of contraceptives for the next five years. It totally felt worth it in that present moment.

You inhaled deeply, exhaling through your mouth. The cramping pain was bearable.

“You’re doing great. Okay, here comes another cramp. Take another deep breath for me.”

Two down, this isn’t so bad.

The third cramp felt different than the last two. It was an intense pain that nearly had you crying out from the sheer shock of it. You could feel the tears pricking your eyes as you struggled to breathe.

What the fuck was that?

“So..your cervix just tore.” Your doctor states this information as if it’s the most casual thing in the world.

“What?” You’re in disbelief. You weren’t prepared for this. There was no fore-warning of your cervix tearing during an IUD insertion! Nothing in the pamphlet that you were previously given. Nothing written on the waiver you signed a little under 10 minutes ago.

Oh god.

Oh god.

Oh god.

“Well, your cervix is pretty angry with me right now. I’m going to get the bleeding to stop. I think we’ll have to reschedule in two weeks, okay? There’s medication you can take that will help relax your cervix, but don’t worry, this happens more often than you think.”

More often than you think?!

There’s medication I could have taken, but you decided to tell me after the fact?

A sense of nausea washes over you as you're laying there. The lights are too bright. Too bright. Your doctor is being too casual for your liking. Your uterus is cramping and you’re being told that you have to come back in two weeks to go through this hell again?

“Hopefully the bleeding stops..otherwise you’ll have to come in tomorrow afternoon so I can stitch your cervix. I’m hoping that won’t be the case.”

You’re not even listening to what your doctor is saying at this point. It feels as if your body has gone into shock, and all you want is for your doctor and her assistant to leave the room so you can take a moment to breathe.

You can’t even recall what your doctor says next. Words are flowing in, but your brain is struggling to process the event that just happened.

Your doctor says her goodbyes, see you in two weeks, and to call if the bleeding doesn’t stop, or gets heavier.

You’re finally alone, and the tears won’t stop.

You’re doing your best to keep it together, but it’s nearly impossible as your body is trembling from the trauma it just endured. Your mind is blank, numb as you redress. You brought a pair of your boyfriend’s sweats from home so that you had something comfy to change into before driving home. Joel had offered to drive you to your appointment, but you opted out simply because it made more logical sense in your head to drive straight from work. Now, as you’re wiping away your free falling tears, you’re wishing you took him up on that offer.

His sweats bring you a sense of comfort that you were desperately clawing for. The fabric of them are soft and gentle against your skin, and his familiar scent lingers in the fibers of the fleece material.

In a haste you sling your bag over your shoulder and grasp your keys in a tight clutch between your fist.

You think you’re in the clear, and able to function as a person in society once more, until a nurse in the hallway sees your tears and its game over.

After allowing your body to break down completely, you find yourself sitting in the examination room. Your doctor is speaking, but you don’t hear any words leave her mouth. All you can do is numbly nod your head as your leg quivers and shakes; your body is processing.

When you finally leave the office and make it to the safety of your car, your fingers shakily start the ignition before you’re sinking back in the driver's seat. You take a few long deep breaths as you slowly regain your composure, even if it only lasts for your drive home.

Joel is waiting for you, of course. The garage door is open and you catch a glimpse of his back turned towards you as he’s setting down a black tupperware bin with a bright orange cover; Halloween decorations. He remembered you mentioning wanting to decorate this weekend, so as soon as he got home from work, he headed straight to the garage to get all the decor boxes down. He’s just brushing off a bit of built up cobwebs along the cover when he hears the familiar sound of your tires rolling over the concrete driveway.

You’re home, and he’s so excited to see you.

He greets you at your driver's side door with his usual gentle smile, and painfully handsome face. Chivalry hasn’t died as he grasps the door handle and pulls it open. His eyes search your own as a frown slowly crawls across his lips. He takes delicate notice of your puffy face, glassy eyes as you struggle to exit your car. He can see your hands trembling before he’s gently placing a hand along your shoulder to steady you.

“Baby? Hey, how’d it go?..” He asked softly, cautiously as he squeezed your shoulder gently. “Everythin’ alright, darlin?’”

You’re unable to respond as you drop your bag and your folded jeans before throwing your arms around him, hugging him so tightly, he’s afraid you might crumble right then and there.

“Oh, honey..” His voice nearly breaks as he wraps his arms around your trembling body with all the intentions to keep you safe, and comforted. “Take a moment to breathe, okay? I’m here. I got you.”

You’re a blubbering mess as you’re to-good-for-this-world boyfriend unconditionally consoles you. His shirt is soaked with your fresh falling tears as he whispers soothingly into your hair, pressing soft tender-felt kisses as an attempt to bring you back down to earth.

I’m here.

I’m here.

You’re safe.

Somehow he has coaxed you into the safety of your shared home for a bit of privacy. He has not let go of you yet, and you’re grateful for it.

“My cervix tore.” You blurted out suddenly through your tears as he was rubbing gentle circles against your clothed back.

Joel doesn’t even know what to think or say as you slowly sink down to the floor and he follows shortly after.

“It was a failed insertion..and my doctor? She acted like it was not a big fucking deal. She waited till after my cervix tore to tell me that I can come back in two weeks, and there’s a muscle relaxing medication I can take that will help relax my cervix. You’d think she’d tell me this before attempting the procedure.” You sniffled as Joel’s hands gently cupped your face with the utmost attention and care he could give you. His thumbs gently brushed away your tears. He felt absolutely horrified and livid for you.

“Oh, baby. I’m so sorry. Honey, I don’t even know what to say..I cannot even begin to imagine how traumatizing that musta been..” His tone is soft, gentle as he holds you protectively. “Your doctor should have absolutely given you all the information beforehand.”

“Exactly. The most fucked up part is the fact that she clearly could tell that my cervix was not dilating, and yet she just kept going. I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt because I know doctors make mistakes, but why the fuck did she keep pushing my body like that? Why wasn’t I given the choice to stop the procedure altogether? I feel..violated.” You spoke nearly above a whisper as you clung tightly to your boyfriend.

“She should have stopped. There was no reason for her to continue pushing your body like that. I am so sorry, and I am so angry for you right now, baby. I’m so so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?..anything? It’s okay if you need some space too..I completely understand.” He was always respectful of your needs, and your boundaries. It was the bare minimum, but Joel respected you effortlessly.

“I don’t know. I just–don’t fucking know right now.” You couldn’t help but bitterly laugh at the situation because you were realizing just how fucked up this situation truly was.

“Baby, that’s okay. I’m here for whatever you need, okay? If you wanna just sit on the floor for now till you’re feelin’ a bit better, we can do that. I can make you some tea? Soup?”

“I..want to get out of these clothes and then shower. Will you please come with me? I don’t want to be alone.” You softly murmured as you went to wipe the sleeve of your hoodie under your eyes.

“Of course, baby. Of course I'll come with you. Want me to carry ya?” He offered softly.

“Yes, please.”

“Alright, c’mon, sweet girl. Arms ‘round my neck. I gotcha.” He was already gently sliding his arms under your thighs as you gently wrapped your arms around his neck. He carried you right upstairs to your shared bathroom. He made sure the shower temperature was just right before you stepped under the warm stream. He slowly sank down along the edge of the toilet seat with his hands lightly clasped between his thighs.

“Tell me about your day, baby.” Your voice softly rose through the billowing steam as your eyes fluttered shut.

So, he did just that. Starting with Tommy almost falling off the goddamn ladder (again). He told you how much he enjoyed the lunch you had packed for him, and he had kept a collection of your little love notes in the glove box of his truck. He told you how excited he was to decorate for Halloween with you this weekend, and start your Halloween movie-marathon that you had meticulously planned out. He loved you so much.

Between the comforting warm stream of the shower, and Joel’s soothing voice, you could feel your body finally begin to relax. He kept conversing with you until he heard the light squeak of the shower handle turning off.

Before you had even stepped out, he already had a fresh fluffy towel ready to wrap you up in.

You were so beyond grateful to have a man treat you this well. You loved him so much, and everyday you were reminded just how lucky you were to have met him.

He wrapped you up in the towel before pressing a soft kiss to your temple. He let you dress in privacy while he busied himself downstairs in the kitchen making you a fresh cup of tea, and a grilled cheese, as requested.

He knocked softly on the bedroom door with a tray in hand as he waited for the okay to come in. He couldn’t help the frown that crossed his face when he realized just how tired you truly were. He set the tray down on the nightstand table before slowly sinking down on the comforter beside you.

While you enjoyed your grilled cheese and cup of tea, Joel was working through the stubborn tangles in your hair with a wet brush. You couldn’t help but smile in between bites when you heard him soothingly begin to hum under his breath. You knew just how much he treasured intimate moments like these.

“How’s that grilled cheese tastin?’ Made sure to put extra butter on the bread, just how my girl likes it.”

“It’s delicious, baby. One of the best grilled cheeses I have ever had.”

“D’awh, well, ain’t you jus’ a sweetheart? S’glad you’re enjoyin’ it, cus’ it was made with love.” He warmly chuckled as he pressed a gentle kiss to the side of your head.

You craned your head to the side just so you could give him a sweet kiss on the lips. A silent thank you for his unconditional love.

Soon he was rubbing lotion on your legs, and he was being extra careful and cautious around your thighs. Your heart just about melted into a puddle when he pressed a feather light kiss to the inside of your thigh and whispered, “I'm sorry.”

You gently pulled him upwards towards your face just so you could give him another kiss; he was yours after all.

He tended to you all evening as the two of you cuddled up under the warm confines of the comforter. His arms were gently draped around you while you were indulging in a delicious ice cream sundae, compliments of the chef. Beetlejuice was playing in the background as your head was gently resting back against his chest.

“Hey, baby?” He asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“Y’know I'm all in support of you makin’ choices for your body, but if you don’t wanna put yourself through that hell again, I’d have no problem getting a vasectomy. Especially if it’ll bring us both some peace of mind. Cus’ I know we ain’t plannin’ on havin’ kids, so the last thing we need is any pregnancy scares, right? I’m jus’ puttin’ the option out there, but I fully support you if you do decide on goin’ back to get the procedure done.”

“You’d..do that for me? Baby, that is so incredibly kind of you to offer. I’m not sure what I am going to do just yet, but I love you so much. Thank you for thinking of the well-being for me, but also for yourself.” You reached your hand up to caress his cheek as he gently gave your waist a light squeeze.

“Baby, of course I would. I jus’ don’t like seein’ you in any pain. You’re the strongest person I know, and I love you, and I jus’ want you to be comfortable, and pain free.”

“Fuck, is someone cutting onions right now?” You jokingly remarked as he chuckled. “God, I love you so much. How did I ever get so lucky?”

“Baby, I think it’s the otherway around. Cus’ i’m wonderin’ how the hell some smuck like me got graced by a goddamn angel.” He murmured softly.

“That’s enough. You are going to cause the waterworks, and I have already cried enough today!” You teasingly spoke as you settled further against the comforting warmth of his chest.

“Okay, okay. But..guess how much I love you?”

“How much?”

You could already picture his little boyish grin creeping over his face as gently released you from his grasp before he stretched his arms out to the side, as far as they could reach.

“Thiiiis Much!” He was such a dork, but he always knew how to make you smile.

“You are such a dork, Miller.” You genuinely laughed as you lightly punched his shoulder affectionately.

“That I am, my girl. That I am.” His heart was so full of you, and you of him.

Banners made by the lovely @saradika 🤎

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Hey, hi! You have very cool works, I really like reading you and always wait for your works. Please, do not leave us here alone.

I have a question: what can you say about a reader in the Mortal Kombat world (yandere) who has absolutely no emotional intelligence (like me)? Which yandere would be the scariest for such a reader, and which ones are the softest?

I don't mean that the reader will be cruel or heartless, but he is simply not in tune with emotions and cannot understand what others are feeling. As someone who suffers from this, I can say that I often don't notice how someone falls in love with me, and sometimes this leads to awkwardness

P. S. Who is your favorite fighter, if it's not a secret?

A/N: aww thank you for requestinggg. This is so camp. I struggle with empathy and similar things too. I went a little more broad with it. Alsooolo between mk11 and Mk1 there’s a big personality jump with a lot of characters so my answer is different depending on the game. Hopefully I did this request some justice.

(P.S. Kung Lao is my 1 fave and then Johnny. For female characters it’s Mileena and then scarlett. I like them crazy lol.)

Characters: I only did the ones I actually care about lol.

Warnings: This is purely my opinion based off of my interpretation of yanderes. Please bear in mind that when I write Yandere, it’s at extremes.

Requests: always open

Masterlist

Safe Zone

Mk11 Fujin, Kotal Khan, Night wolf, Kuai Liang, Jax , MK1 Reptile, Raiden, Smoke, Baraka, both Liu Kang, Kenshi, both gerases

While you maybe aren’t intentionally trying to discard them or hurt their feelings, it doesn’t seem like it at first. Why are you so blank? How can you just shrug off a confession like that? Do you hate them?

Once they get to know you better by studying and observing your habits, they realize that this is simply the way you are. They are compassionate enough where they don’t really let it bother them anymore.

They have not only a legitimate love for you (under their deranged behaviors), but a lot of emotional intelligence. At their core, they have a bit more maturity on things like this compared to their counterparts. Especially Fujin and Kotal Khan, they’ve been here for ages and have dealt with many different personalities before. You’re not really the first person who has been emotionally shut off like this. Besides, it’s not like you’re showing someone else more love or attention than them so..whatevs

(If you do discard them for another person tho, they will raise hell about it and retract their compassion.)

They will be more direct and intentional about what they want and their feelings so it's not so confusing for you. I can also imagine them guiding and helping you understand them more by maybe taking a different approach towards empathy? Emotional intelligence can be improved and I think they’d be rather good at this. You might not be fully there on everything (depending on where this is stemming from) but you’d have a better grasp at least.

I will say though that at times they might get sad when you don’t initiate affection or respond emotionally how they’d ideally picture it. Especially if there’s absolutely no improvement after a while, they’d get manipulative. They’d make you believe you feel something that you actually can’t. Also might get a bit frustrated by your impulsivity, outbursts and isolation.

Danger Zone

Mk11Shang tsung,Kano,Johnny Cage, Kung Lao, Erron Black, Hanzo Hasashi, Kabal, Dark Raiden,Baraka, Noob Saibot, Shao Khan MK1 Bi-Han Johnny Cage, Quan Chi, Shang Tsung, General Shao, Kuai Liang, Kung Lao

They. Do. Not. Care.

All of these men have a massive ego that needs to be stroked and inflated by you. They want praise, love and affection. They want 100% of you. Yes, that includes emotionally.

They really don’t care what the reason is for why you are ignoring their advances, you will reciprocate. Their demands will be met and you are in love with them. Fake it good!

I hope you’re a quick learner because you have to pick up on their cues. You should know exactly what they need and when they need it. Your words should be ever so carefully chosen and your actions should have much enthusiasm.

There is no room for your mistakes and accidentally offending them, you will be punished for it. Mood swings and impulsively can result in reactive behaviors on their end.

Don’t make any of your interactions with them awkward in front of others. It isn’t funny to embarrass your “lover” like this.

No. you can’t be self centered. They are the center of your life. No. You cannot hold grudges against them. You should always forgive their actions. Aaaaand no. You really cannot ignore/not listen to them. How dare you.

Wait…it almost sounds like they are just as emotionally immature. Nahhh. They’re worse.

Yeah there’s no room for your Low EL, they need you to be a stable sounding board or else this relationship is going to be far more toxic than anything you’ve ever seen.

They’re completely far gone, no amount of explanation can save you. They will use any means necessary to get something out of you that isn’t even there in the first place. You are going to be everything they imagined you to be and more.

Conflicting feelings

Ngl kinda wanted to put Mk11 Johnny up top because I just am stuck on the fact that MK1 Johnny is a far worse Yandere. Like MK1 Johnny is older, mellowed out and is very mature at this point…but then I remembered his younger self. His mk11 younger version would be far more menacing than MK1. Mk11 Johnny Cage’s younger self would come out of him during his obsession. He can’t help but be an absolute asshat and forget all about his growth when it comes to you. Once a playboy always a playboy.

Kinda wanted MK1 King Lao in the top category aswell but…do I have to further explain. He’s definitely not as cocky and arrogant as his MK11 counterpart but he’s young, immature and impulsive. I don’t think he’d understand your low EL. It would drive him insane thinking that his darling isn’t reciprocating. He’d become rather aggressive and an egotistical monsterrrr in the process.

Kotal Khan really got me too because like he’s absolutely a lover boy but his heart isn’t as warm as it used to be.😭😭 debated putting him in the danger zone because there is so much potential for him to be cray cray but rewatching him and Jade interacting with each other made me choose the softer route. I think once he realizes you are just emotionally immature he’s just unphased by you. Like I can’t see him being that upset by his darling or something like that?? He’d be patient and understanding. He might’ve once been just like you but with time and age, he changed. So can you. Maybe I’m just being too generous?

Dark Raiden. I mean Raiden himself isn’t very intelligent when it comes to emotions. He’s goal and logically focused so I think he’d understand you. BUT what made me change my opinion was that dark! Raiden is completely corrupted and so is his way of thinking. He’s twisted and probably can’t really register your low EL. I think he’d perceive it as you being purposefully defiant towards him.

Mk1 Kuai Liang. People make him super soft and cuddly but Idk I feel like if I’m putting Bi-Han in the danger zone that it makes sense for his brother to be. They grew up in the same environment and Kuai is shown having similar or even worse traits to him. I don’t think he’s a saint. Smoke stands out more to me as someone who’d be softer. His voice lines and personality reflects that.

How do I even tag this 😩

[wonton4rang]

i freaking love your writing aaaa 🫶🫶

im kinda biased here but leehan doing sumn under the table or blanket and continuing conversation like the menace that he is 🤭

also rlly honored to have been ur first ask 😚

stoooooppp, you're so nice :(( i'm glad that you like my writing and tysm for being my first ask, it was greatly appreciated <33

and you are not biased !!! i am honestly the same so we are kinda sharing one braincell tbh, the leehan brainrot is rEAL. hope you like this!

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i feel like it would happen when you too are hanging out with the other guys, you dressed up so prettily since it was a big night for sungho, he just got that promotion that he wanted for years. it was a celebration! but leehan just couldn't wrap his mind over the fact that YOU had to dress SO cute AND hot when sungho was nothing more than a friend of YOUR boyfriend leehan. was he jealous? yes. not because he saw sungho as a menace but more because everyone was looking at you whenever you laughed or said the most basic things, being pretty obvious that they just found you as beautiful as he did. but what actually made him grin a little bit with disbelief was the way you tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and looked down while laughing, were you really flirting back? "y/n, what's up with you?" he whispered to your ear, his right arm grapped around your waist before you asked him what he meant "what's so funny about what riwoo said?" you were not stupid, not even a little bit, so you backed up to look into his eyes, suddenly all the fun left your body when you were just met by his blank stare. "he has a great sense of humour, baby, nothing personal" excuses was all leehan heard coming out your mouth so he just ignored your words, his free left hand (that was not around your waist) going up your tight instead and making you panic when he looked back to the front, joining the conversation with the boys while his fingers dangerously ghosted the front of your underwear. and he was kinda rough the moment he threw your panties aside and entered a finger without warning. "fuck, leehan" you called under your breath so the others couldn't hear you but leehan ignored you again and just moved his finger, joining another one after a few seconds; it was so embarrassing to be feeling this good while your boyfriend fingered you right in front of his friends, just under the table, the blanket being the only thing keeping the obscene action covered as the table was made of glass. "stop it" your hand went to grab his but you wished you didn't say or did anything when he finally payed attention to you again. "did you say something, baby?" he would ask you, accelerating the movement of his fingers, not being in and out but now just curling them up inside of your cunt. "guys, i think y/n wants to say something" you just couldn't believe it, he was such a bitch, such a tease, and well shit, you were up for the challenge. your pussy clenched around his fingers and your cheeks flushed when he laughed at you being so nervous, and how could you not be when all the other boys were looking at you in expectation. "c'mon, baby, tell sungho what you wanted to say" leehan better sleeps with an eye open from now on, his fingers not stopping at all when you tried to gain composure and smiled to the party boy "i'm so happy you g-got this promotion, sungho, you definitely deserv-" but your words got lost when your boyfriend got his finger's pace faster inside of you "you deserve it, congratulations" and you thanked god for letting you finish that sentence without moaning in front of all of them, certainly traumatizing woonhak if it happened. the boy sitting next to you just removed his fingers from your pussy and laughed a bit at how wet you were and the pout you made by not being able to come, he leaned in to your ear and whispered "next time you make me feel like this i'll vent you over the table and fuck you in front of them" you were kinda mad, yes, but tbh your pussy throbbed at the thought. maybe leehan wasn't the only one that was kinda crazy.

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and there goes again another leehan thought again of my system, it's like a plague, they just keep coming back 😭

[ashwhowrites]

Chappell Roan’s “Casual” with Robin? 🥲

I remember when she opened for Fletcher a few years ago! Honored to write a fic for one of the most popular songs at the moment

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting🫶🏻 ( love your profile picture by the way )

Casual

My friends call me a loser 'Cause I'm still hanging around I've heard so many rumors That I'm just a girl that you bang on your couch I thought you thought of me better Someone you couldn't lose You said, "We're not together" So now when we kiss, I have anger issues

Robin Buckley had a hold on Y/N, that she didn't even understand. Robin was a chemical and it fucked up Y/N's brain. It made her make stupid decisions, hallucinate the possibilities, and lose vision in the red flags.

Y/N wasn't anything special to Robin, and that was the issue. No matter how many times people said it to Y/N, she didn't believe it. She was so sure that she meant something to Robin. She believed it was more than a fuck. Almost like Robin kept Y/N there because she can't lose her, she just hasn't admitted it to herself.

If anyone was going to tell her that they weren't anything, it was Robin.

"Why did you kiss her? I mean I was with you." Y/N fought as she followed Robin into her bedroom.

"Because I can! How many times do I have to tell you that we are not together!" Robin argued back, removing her jacket.

Y/N rolled her eyes and stomped her way to her car

Of course, Robin didn't follow. But Y/N still sat in the driveway just in case. She waited and waited, then did what she did best

She went back inside and walked to Robin's bedroom. Robin shifted in bed when she heard Y/N's footsteps. Without a word, she pulled back the blanket, and Y/N crawled inside. She bit her tongue as Robin wrapped her arms around her and softly pressed her lips against hers.

Robin's touch and kiss used to fill her with butterflies, but now all she saw was red, and the taste of betrayal.

You said, "Baby, no attachment" But we're Knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out Is it casual now? Two weeks, and your mom invites me to her house on Long Beach Is it casual now? I know what you tell your friends It's casual, if it's casual now Then, baby, get me off again If it's casual, it's casual now

Y/N knew it was no attachment, friends with benefits and that is all it would be, to Robin at least. Y/N would always see Robin as so much more.

How did Robin not feel more? Robin was on her knees, head underneath Y/N's skirt as the windows in the car fogged. Y/N did something for herself, she went on a date. And it still ended with her in the palm of Robin's hand. Robin was jealous, that was easy to tell and feel. It meant she cared, how could this be casual?

"Fuck Rob," Y/N moaned as she gripped the seats, Robin hummed but kept her mouth on Y/N's clit. The vibrations made Y/N shiver and her mind went blank. She submitted to Robin's torture.

~

Y/N wasn't sure if she was supposed to say yes or no to Robin's mom's invite. She wanted to scream yes, she wanted to show Robin that others were thinking the same thing she was. That Robin was so wrong because nothing about them was casual.

Y/N looked at Robin as her mom waited for an answer. A huge smile on her face. Robin smiled and Y/N took that as a yes.

Y/N soaked in the air in Robin's arms, sitting on the sand as the waves crashed on the shore. The sun was setting and the sky was pink and purple, the most romantic view.

As she sat in her arms, she still didn't understand how Robin didn't realize the things they did were what couples do. Friends with benefits don't sit on the beach and embrace each other's warmth.

"I could get used to this," Robin whispered, her chin on Y/N's head. Y/N smiled and agreed. But all she could think about was "Why can't you?"

Dumb love, I love being stupid Dream of us in a year Maybe we'd have an apartment And you'd show me off to your friends at the pier

It didn't matter how many people told her she was being dumb, and allowing herself to be hurt. She knew she was, and she accepted that. If being stupid got her this close to Robin, she would pick to be stupid for the rest of her life.

Y/N always dreamed of what life would be like if Robin allowed herself to fall. Would they live in a small apartment filled with plants and cats? An apartment sounded nice, a place they decorated just for them. A place where they could make love and never be alone. Tangled together forever and always. Y/N could finally have a relationship with Robin's friends. They would all hang out and get messy at parties. Y/N would show that she meant something to Robin.

"what are you thinking about?" Robin whispered, her breath against Y/N''s neck as they lay naked in Robin's sheets. Her eyes were closed as she bathed in the comfort of Y/N's arms. She ignored the way her heart raced and how at peace she felt when she was with Y/N. It was casual, she couldn't feel this way.

"Nothing," Y/N lied, closing her eyes to live in her daydream a little longer

Robin nodded and allowed herself to fall into her daydream. Y/N cuddled into her body as Steve told a dumb story. Robin felt no fear of being in love as she watched her two favorite people talk like they had known each other for years. But that was a dream because Robin was racked with fear every time she breathed.

It's hard being casual When my favorite bra lives in your dresser And it's hard being casual When I'm on the phone talking down your sister And I try to be the chill girl That holds her tongue and gives you space I try to be the chill girl But honestly, I'm not

When Y/N was alone and with her thoughts, she broke. She cried in misery. The one thing she needed in her life would simply never be. She never fell in love before Robin, and it killed her to know that love would never be enough. It was hard for her to accept that Robin wasn't the endgame, she was a lesson.

But how was she a lesson that compelled every part of Y/N's life?

Y/N opened her dresser to grab clothes to get dressed. She scrunched her eyebrows as she searched for her favorite bra that fits like a glove. She made a mess as she searched and searched, but no luck. She sighed when she released she must have left it at Robin's. She was confused as to why Robin didn't call to tell her.

~

"Rob? What's up?" Y/N asked

Robin sighed over the phone, her eyes looking to her sister as she cried into her hands.

"Bethany and George broke up, she wants to talk to you." Robin handed the phone over and Y/N pulled out her best advice.

It wasn't a surprise that Bethany wanted to talk to her. Bethany loved Y/N like another sister. Another reason why it pained Y/N was that Robin couldn't give her more. Robin's family loved having Y/N around. If they got married, it would be an easy transition into the Buckley family. But Robin wouldn't let that happen.

Knee deep in the passenger seat, and you're eating me out Two weeks, and your mom invites me to her Long Beach house I know what you tell your friends Baby, get me off again I fucked you in the bathroom when we went to dinner Your parents at the table, you wonder why I'm bitter Bragging to your friends, I get off when you hit it I hate to tell the truth, but I'm sorry, dude, you didn't I hate that I let this drag on so long, now I hate myself Hate that I let this drag on so long, you can go to hell

Robin had her head thrown back and her hand covering her mouth as Y/N fingered her in the bathroom stall.

It was bliss but it was rough. Her fingers moved at a quick speed and pulsing strength. Robin felt like she would wake up bruised. Robin's chest was bare as Y/N sunk her teeth into the skin. Bites and marks are left everywhere.

"Why are you fucking me like you hate me?" Robin panted, her eyes shut as she felt her stomach get tight

Y/N had many reasons to hate her. Sitting at a table with her parents, holding her hand under the table like it meant something. Robin fed her all these teases and ripped them away the same day. For now, Y/N is having dinner but in an hour? She'd be sent home in tears as Robin called someone else. Y/N was tired of getting dragged around.

"Because I do" Y/N admitted, her words drowned out as Robin yelped out her orgasm.

~~~

Y/N rolled her eyes are Robin talked with her friends. Y/N wanted to be excited that she was talking about her, but Robin wasn't. She was bragging about herself

Robin was going on and on about how good she fucked Y/N and all the ways she made her cum. Even more proof that Y/N was nothing except what was between her legs. She was being used and she wouldn't ever be loved by Robin.

Y/N walked out of the party, for once leaving alone and with clear eyes.

She never should have let it go on this long, but all she could do now was end it. She walked out on Robin and walked out on the possibilities.

Robin would not be the only person she would fall in love with. Robin would just be the first because at the end of the day, Robin was a lesson.

[marchsfreakshow]

Red Nail Polish [Stan Bowes]

Smut / tiny bit of angst

Your boss never really spoke to you that much. Not really. So, you weren't particularly expecting a call from him at 12am asking you to come over.

This request is from AGESSS ago but I finally found some inspiration. Anon who requested it, if you're still here this is for you<3

Fair warning I haven't seen Pose for a bit so it might sound a bit ooc sorry.

Warnings: once again too much plot for a smut fic lol, brief 'sir' kink, Stan being kinda pathetic, oral (m), reader is a little mean occasionally.

18+! MINORS DNI READ MY SFW WORKS

No one's perspective

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Stan never spoke to you. Tell a lie, he did. Occasionally. Brief hellos while he walked to a meeting maybe. Small talk maybe going over whatever he asked you to do.

There was never more than that. No lingering glances in your direction, no knowing smiles. Seemed like nothing. That's all your relationship was.

You worked like this for a few months.

Never speaking much together. Maybe you gave him lunch if he asked. You always found him cute though. The way his hair just sat the same every day, the way his eyes always gave you the same soft look when he walked past you. It was, slightly perfect. Too perfect.

Men have their secrets, you assumed he probably had his. That's probably why you liked his eyes. Too much of a past to stare at, too much to get into with your own boss who you barely spoke more than... 4 words to. You couldn't really casually go up to Stan and ask him, "Hey sir how's your home life? It's going good? Yea, your eyes say otherwise." You weren't insane!

The hours were long.

The weeks were tedious.

Eventually getting a few more words into Stan. Small conversations over lunch that didn't amount to much. The man found himself enjoying your company. "You do anything over the weekend?" He asked, adjusting himself in his chair a bit. Did he look uncomfortable? Probably.

The silence was nice, so you were slightly taken aback by his out of nowhere question. "Uh, went to see a production of Two Gentlemen Of Verona. That was nice."

"Oh, nice. On your own?"

On my own? What was that meant to mean?

"Yeah."

"Right."

The rest of lunch continued. Stan seemed off. On the edge of his seat, literally. He was uncomfortably perched on his chair, attempting to attain something just out of grasp. You noticed his fidgeting; flicking of his nails, slight playing with his food, eyes flickering around to avoid your own eyes. You wanted to pry but also figured you didn't talk enough to ask if he was okay. Stan would probably say that he's fine and you'd get right back to the slightest bit of uncomfortable silence.

Back to work.

Back to small smiles, little questions, and writing notes to yourself. For the next couple of hours. Boring and repetitive until 5:30pm. Everyone caught themselves up and left immediately. You found yourself a face in the crowd, heading towards your car before Stan got a moment to say 'Have a good evening' to you.

It was a lonely evening. He was used to hearing the TV play some children's shows for a while, hearing the little ones talk excitedly about what they did at school. Just being excited for no reason. But, no, he was greeted with silence this night. It was deafening. He had to be alone with his thoughts. It was another quick meal in the microwave. He had to face the rare few dishes still lingering in the sink. Mouldy food starting to stick to the porcelain. Only served as a reminder of the reality Stan currently lived in.

A lonely movie, lying on the couch in whatever clothes he could find. Staring up at the ceiling, blank-minded, thinking nothing. The movie waved past his ears. "Can I talk to you?"

Stan's phone call at 12am wasn't what you were expecting. You were half lying in bed, reading still. Very close to finishing the book, and that was what you were focused on. "Sir... Stan, it's 12am."

"sir...hey, call me that again," he murmured under his breath, closing his eyes. Lost in his thoughts of your voice. Maybe you shouldn't've been giving in to his desires. Stan had mentioned his wife, and his kids multiple times. He told you plenty of stories, but he seemed slightly out of it tonight.

Despite your lingering thoughts, you said 'fuck it' and responded quietly, your book closed on your lap. "Why sir? Something happened?"

"Yeah, actually. I, um, I was wondering if you could... come over."

A chuckle. "Stan.. it's midnight."

"I know. I know...just, please. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important." Stan eventually told you his address, and you made a quick mental note. Agreeing eventually, and you hung up. Maybe you should pack an overnight bag. Yeah, maybe you should.

The drive took more time than you expected. You didn't properly change out of your home clothes either, just slipping on some underwear and trousers that weren't so... messy. Knocking quickly with the overnight bag still in the backseat of your car. "Ah, hi." Stan looked a mess, more than you felt right now and it almost broke your heart.

"Hey...why did you want me to come over?"

Stan took your hand, led you inside, and closed the door once you stood in the living room. It was certainly more messy than you would have expected. A bit of trash, a messed up couch, a random movie still playing dully on the TV. This... certainly wasn't what you were expecting. "Stan?" You asked, peeking out to the hallway.

"Sorry...sorry." The man sniffled. He quickly ran a hand over his face then took a few steps back into the living room. "Uh, come sit down. I'll, get you a drink." The words, the steps and his look only added to your confusion. Sure he was certainly...alone now, but the mess, and his clothes.

You took a few steps towards Stan and immediately held onto his arms. "Stan. What's going on?" Cutting him off of any words he was about to say. Stan looked at you, then at your hands on his arms. Then back into your eyes.

"She's gone."

Eyes wide. "Oh." How do you comfort people again? More specifically, how do you comfort your suddenly divorced boss who definitely hasn't been invading your thoughts recently? His eyes found the floor, like it was the most interesting thing in the room and said nothing for a moment.

People like hugs right? That should work. Enveloping Stan in a hug, your arms around his neck. Holding him close for a moment as he reluctantly wrapped his arms around your back. Awkward, but somehow comforting. It went on for a little bit too long, and once you pulled yourself away, his eyes found the floor again.

He wasn't really thinking much. You blinked and he kissed you. Wait what? His hands on your cheeks. This was not happening. Before he continued to kiss you, you took a step away. "Stan-"

"Fuck. Sorry." The man uttered, sitting on the couch instead. He looked quite sorry for himself. A bit of a pathetic sight really. It tugged at whatever empathetic heartstrings you had left. Stan clearly did something, and you probably should've left right then and there. I mean, were you really thinking about this? There are multiple reasons for his wife leaving, presumably with the two little kiddies. "Look, I just.." He trailed off once he saw you settle between his legs.

"um.."

"You're obviously feeling upset, and I know you did something but I don't really know any other way to comfort you." You muttered, taking a loop in the sweatpants and pulling it so the waistband became looser. Stan brought his hips up for a moment so you could pull the fabric from his hips and let it settle around his ankles.

"you really don't have to.." He protested. Stan's protests were weak. He clearly hadn't been touched for a while. Or he was incredibly attracted to you. While yes technically, you didn't have to, you felt some semblance of upset for Stan and his situation. And you figured this would be the best way to temporarily help him out. Fuck it, you might get a raise out of this tomorrow once the man came to his senses, you didn't know.

Stan's lack of pleasure for a while was obvious. He was achingly hard already, and you had barely slipped your hand into his boxers. Bit sad really. But you digressed. Slowly touching him under the fabric for a few moments, hearing his breathing get heavier, and occasional little moans escaping him. Eventually, though, Stan pulled your hand away just to tug his boxers down his legs to join his sweats.

Ah, you knew what to do now. You muttered nothing to yourself, as you rested your fingers around Stan's cock again. Taking a breath, leaning in. Your tongue resting on the underside for a moment. "Ha.."

"You okay?" You asked, pulling yourself away for a moment, looking up at Stan.

"It's uh, it's been a while.."

"Figured." Ouch. That stung in Stan's heart for a moment. The feeling immediately replaced once your lips were wrapped around his dick once again. He couldn't decide whether or not he wanted to watch you or let his head fall back against the couch. So, he eventually decided to let his head fall against the couch as you started to take more of him down your throat. One hand resting next to him on the couch and the other hesitant to rest on your head. He didn't know what type of person you were, so he could've tried to push you down and you would've hated that.

But, you just continued without a care in the world. Eyes screwed shut as your cheeks hollowed with every movement. You pulled away from time to time to breathe, revelling in the sound of Stan's small groans, whimpers and gasps. They were the sweet sounds and made it all the better. The sounds of a lonely boss who you honestly, were still decently interested in.

Yea. You were definitely going to get a raise out of this.

Stan let out another groan, keeping his fingers taut against your hair. As soon as you felt the telltale sign in your mouth, you pulled yourself away, heavily breathing still. Starting instead to jerk Stan off quickly, keeping the same pace for another few moments, until he came in your hand. Dripping down his cock and your fingers as Stan bucked up to ride himself through his orgasm since you didn't seem to help him.

"a-ah shit. I'm sorry.." He muttered once he realised he made a mess of your hand. Coincidentally, a tissue box was by the TV stand, so you stood up, cum over your hand and grabbed the box, bringing it over to Stan. Not as satisfying as Stan had hoped, but it was something and it made him feel a little better.

Silently, you cleaned your hand up, throwing the stained tissues in the bin quickly. Stan followed, slowly cleaning himself up and dressing himself back up. Cue awkward silence for a few moments. "Thanks."

"Yeah. Course."

Another few moments of silence between the two of you, ads playing in the background on the TV. Looking around the living room as you just sat there for a moment. Stan finally said something, just your name. Looking over to you with a hopeful look. "Can we...can I..take you somewh-"

"No." Stan blinked and then looked over at the wall, feeling slight whiplash at you saying no immediately. "Whatever the fuck happened... whatever the fuck you did... It clearly only just happened. And I don't think that's a good idea."

"You just-"

"Yeah, I'm fully aware of what I just did Stan."

A beat of silence. Both of you felt like at least one of you said something wrong. You figured it was Stan. Who goes and suggests a date to their secretary right after their wife left them? "...a few weeks?"

"Try a few months sir." You knew exactly what you were doing with that word. Stan knew too. There was no need for you to call him that right now. Glancing at each other.

But you got up silently and walked out to your car, leaving Stan in confusion for a couple of minutes. Once you came back in, overnight bag in hand, Stan got the idea. Well, he hoped it was the right idea. Being led through the house until you were in his room.

You were sure this was going to result in way more than a raise by this point.

⊹˚.⋆ ₊꒷ᘏᘏ︶ଓ︶꒷꒦⊹˚ᗢ₊꒷︶ଓ︶꒷

Tags: @babygorewhore / @taintandviolent / @oceanblvd111 / @nahoyasboyfriend / @slutforgarlogan / @briaroftheroses @american-horror-whore /. @evanpeterspeter / @feefymo / @fear-is-truth / @lacucarachapisser / @saintlucretia / @jazz-berry / @t8-ak47 / @lemoniiiiiii / @xrag-dollx

[witchwrestler]

I Eat Boys

warnings // Jason being a creep but that's literally it

summary: 10 things I hate about you inspired little blurb bc I got bored

note: reblogs are appreciated and encouraged!! if you like this i will gladly do another part, this was v fun to write !!!

part 2

☆ 🎸 ☆

You'd always been what most in the small shoebox town of hawkins would call a "feminist bitch", and according to most of the men who ask you out as a joke in the hallways, you've been more rageful than usual. You had one boyfriend during your high-school career thus far. It was freshman year and the product of being told that if a boy was being mean to you, surely that means he likes you. It ended after four months, after his failed attempt at getting in your pants.

It took you much longer than you'd like to admit to heal from that fiasco, and when you had finally declared yourself happy again, you cut your hair short, bought a pair of doc martens you'd always wanted and decided you would swear men off for a while. Not to say they were even approaching you, it seems the moment you had grown into yourself and stopped caring, men wanted nothing to do with you.

That is, until a very cold and rainy saturday. You had gone to the record store across from family video to buy the new metallica 'master of puppets'. As per usual the music blaring from your beat up jeep was some form of loud aggressive feminist punk rock, and as you turned into the parking lot, what seemed like the entire hawkins cheer team parked next to you. Too fast you thought, their happy Duran Duran playing selves turned into four cheerleaders looking at you like you were deranged. You scowled back at them and walked into the record store.

You spotted the metallica immediately and walked over to the metal section.

Only you weren't the only one grabbing the cassette, right as you very nearly got your hands on it, a pair of silver-clad fingers snatched it. You looked up, shooting a glare at him. He had long curly brown hair, the sickest dio tour shirt on, a guitar pick hanging on a chain around his neck and chains hanging from his jeans. This is the first time you had felt almost upstaged by a man, you think to yourself before speaking. "I really thought I was the only one who liked metal in this shitty town, do I have competition now?" You say, leaning forward over the display separating you. He looked at you a moment, a smile on his face, "it would seem you do" you smile back at him, and grab another cassette from in front of you before walking to the front to pay.

As you leave you turn back around, finding him still standing at the metal section, his eyes meeting yours again. "I am jealous as hell of that dio shirt, by the way." You say, walking out to your car.

The rain had stopped but it was still chilly outside, so you pulled your brown leather jacket closer to keep warm. You hadn't noticed that someone was following behind you until they whistled at you. You turned on your heel, immediately angry. Jason carver and his raging case of dickface disease stood before you, walking towards you like he was entitled to you or something.

" Carver, if you don't walk away right now, I'll kick your sorry ass," you say, backing slowly towards your car and crossing your arms. "A girl? kick my ass? keep dreaming, hon." He says, inching towards you. "Look, I wouldn't mind a reason to hit you, but I doubt you're gonna wanna go tell your fucking goon squad that you got your ass beat by a woman, huh?" You say, nothing but a blank expression on your face. He gets too close for comfort, a hand brushing your thigh. "so you're a feisty one, hm?" he says, his hand now squeezing your thigh, your fist clenching at his touch. You let out a sarcastic laugh just to say, "Carver, I fucking eat boys like you for breakfast. You're all talk, no bite." a smirk paints his face as he pushes you onto the door of your car, "isn't that why you went to juvie, freak?" he says. Clearly, he thought that the freak bit would cut deep, but you weren't about to let someone like him get under your skin.

"Yeah." That wasn't true. You have never even been near a juvenile detention center. But your last straw had been pulled, and you would rather he be scared of you than have him actually figure you out. "And pathetic, mysoginistic, disrespectful boys like you were my favorite kind." You say, pushing him off of you. His eyes got big with fear, scrambling away as he ran to his car, eyes flicking to you nervously. You let out a sigh of relief "fucking, men." you mumbled under your breath, finishing the walk to your car.

☆

Little did you know, that head of curly hair and hands clad with silver, who grabbed the same album as you, had tried to catch up to you after you complimented his shirt. You hadn't noticed him watch your little scramble. And you hadn't noticed the smirk that grew on his face as he saw you scare carver off. And you didn't know that he had regretted not asking your name, and that now he feared he might never know it.

[afroditisworld]

Silver Spring

Remus Lupin x Black!Reader

Warnings: just angst not a happy ending. character death. my grammar

word count: 5k

A/N: i write this fic while listening to Silver Spring so i recommend listening to it while you are reading it.

five times Remus rejected you and once you did.

You, Sirus, Remus, Peter, and James were always together in your years at Hogwarts. As the twin sister of Sirius Black and as a Gryffindor, you were a disappointment to your family too. You were a part of the Marauders and close with everyone, but Peter was your best friend. At first, he envied you because he was jealous of your brother. However, he learned to trust you over time, and a beautiful friendship started. He knew everything about you, even your huge crush on Remus Lupin. How could you not like him? He was the sweetest and most loveable wizard you had ever met, but he didn't know that. You were always flirting with him, trying to make your feelings obvious. But he couldn't understand how you could like him, so he always brushed off your flirting. Except for one night in your 7th year, Gryffindor had just won an important game against the Slytherins, and at the party, you and Remus had a little too much to drink. In a moment of weakness, Remus confessed that he had feelings for you too. You were dizzy, but you could still remember how his words made you feel. You were sitting in the common room alone after the party when Remus approached you.

"You know that I like you too, right?" Remus whispered in your ear, placing a sweet kiss on your neck. You chuckled and hid your face in your hands.

"It's true, luv, but you don't deserve me," he said, placing his hand on your lap. You immediately looked at him and shook your head, touching his face and making him look at you.

"You have no idea what you deserve, Remus Lupin," you murmured as you leaned in closer, your lips hovering just above his.

"You deserve so much more," he whispered teasingly, brushing his lips against yours before pulling back.

“Kiss me, please, Remus,” you breathed out, and a small smile appeared on his lips. You felt your heart flutter, and he couldn't resist any longer.

He pulled you closer by the back of your neck, and before you could even think twice, his lips were crushed against yours. At first, his kiss was rough and desperate, but as the moment lingered, it softened into something tender and sweet. Your mind went blank as you kissed him back eagerly, completely losing yourself in the moment. All the tension and pent-up desire between you two exploded in that kiss, leaving both of you panting for air when you finally pulled away. Remus smirked at you and was ready to kiss you again when your brother called his name and stood up to head to Sirius.

That's how it started. At every party, you and Remus would make out. You started hanging out more, so you thought you and Remus could finally be something more than friends.

But as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months, you began to notice a change in Remus’s behaviour. He started to distance himself, always finding excuses to avoid being alone with you. Your heart ached at the thought of losing him after finally admitting your feelings and sharing those intense moments. So at his birthday party, you decided it was finally time to talk this out.

Remus was smoking alone on the window when you approached him, nerves fluttering in your chest but determined to get answers.

"What, Black, you don't enjoy the party?" He asked you, blowing the smoke outside the window with a small smirk.

"No, I just wanted to spend some time with you and talk," you answered, looking up at him as you got closer to him. He bit his lips and let out a small groan. He knew that was coming; he knew that you liked him, and Remus knew that he wanted you as well, but he still couldn't let himself give in to his feelings.

"Remus, what's going on?" You asked, your voice laced with concern. He avoided your gaze, shifting his cigarette.

"I… I can't do this, Y/N," he finally whispered, his eyes filled with regret. "I'm too dangerous for you. I can't risk being with you like this." He tried to look away from you; he was ashamed of himself. How was it possible to be such a coward? And as his words left his mouth, you chuckled.

"You don't mean that," you said, stepping closer to him. As a Black, you were known for never settling for anything less than what you wanted. You were not one to back down easily.

"Stop it, Y/N; you don't deserve it, and you know that," Remus stated, finally looking at you as he stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray.

"No, Lupin, we could make it work; you know that," you said, but Remus turned around, leaving you all alone with your thoughts. You couldn't help but wonder if his fear was too great to overcome his wants.

After that, you did not make an effort again. You had some pride; you were upset, and you didn't want to ruin your friendship, so you chose to act as if nothing had happened. As if Remus never expressed his affection for you, never kissed you, and, above all, you tried to convince yourself that Remus Lupin had never broken your heart.

You and Remus never talked about your feelings again. But you never stopped hoping that something could change. You couldn't bury your feelings completely, no matter how hard you tried to ignore them. So the next time Remus chose to hide his feelings and reject you again was on October 31, 1981.

You were both on a mission for the Order of the Phoenix. The mission was dangerous; you both knew that. You were fighting side by side, so when you saw Remus in danger, you ran to help him, risking your own life. You didn't mind; it was the right thing to do, you told yourself, but Remus didn't seem to think so.

When you arrived at his house, he was furious. At first, he didn't talk to you and avoided eye contact. It was clear that he was struggling with his emotions. So when you tried to speak to him, he shouted at you.

"You are not going to do that again." He was flustered when he finally looked at you. You pouted when you heard his words; you didn't expect this reaction. You were always putting yourselves in danger, so you didn't see what the problem was now.

"We were on a mission, Remus. What did you want me to do? Just stand there and watch you die." You asked him and rolled your eyes. He was being unreasonable.

"Stop putting yourself at so much risk." He groaned, putting his hand on his hair. You started to get mad at his constant lecturing.

"I can take care of myself, Remus," you snapped, feeling frustrated with his overprotective nature. "I'm not going to stop just because you're worried."

"You should," he stated, and he left the room. You followed him into the kitchen; you wouldn't let him make you feel like you couldn't handle yourself. You wanted to have the last word in this argument.

"Can you just thank me and don't give a lecture? I just saved you for Merlin's sake." You cried out.

"You didn't have to, Y/N. Don't do that again," he said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Are you hearing what you're saying? You're asking me to let you die," you said, looking at him confused. He sighed, realising the gravity of the situation.

"Yeah- no, I mean, just don't do that again." He insisted.

"No, Remus, I would put myself at risk again and again if it meant saving you," you whispered. Remus looked at you with a mixture of gratitude and concern, realising just how much you cared for him. But still, he couldn't understand what he had done to deserve that.

"Stop it, Y/N." He demanded as you shook your head, refusing to back down.

"And you know why?" You continued.

"Y/N." Remus said your name again, trying to make you stop.

"Because I have feelings for you, and I can't pretend like I don't anymore; I can’t bury them, Remus, and I know you can't either." You finally let out.

"Stop," Remus said again, this time louder.

"What, Remus? Is it so difficult to believe that you are loveable and that people actually care for you more than you think?" You asked him. You knew that you were being bolder than you should be, but you couldn't take it anymore.

"Yes, it fucking is," he let out with a cracking voice and a pained expression.

"Then open your bloody eyes, Lupin, because when you're gonna realise it, it'll be late, and you'll regret not accepting the love that's right in front of you," you whispered, feeling the weight of your words. "And you'll lose everyone, not only me," you said again. You knew that you were being mean, but someone should have made him listen and woke him up. "Stop pushing me away," you added softly, hoping he would finally understand. "I can't keep waiting for you forever."

But Remus again didn't say anything; he chose to push you away once more, his eyes filled with sadness and regret. You knew deep down that he was struggling with his own demons, but it didn't make the rejection hurt any less. He shook his head again and left the room, leaving you alone one more time.

The next morning didn't find either of you well. Mary had called you too. "Something horrible happened.” She said. You felt like your heart had dropped to the pit of your stomach, fearing the worst as you listened to Mary's words. Her words left you feeling lost. You felt dizzy with worry as you tried to make sense of the situation. The uncertainty of what Mary had to say weighed heavily on your mind, leaving you anxious and unsettled.

Your brother was a traitor—or that's what people said—your best friend Peter was dead, killed by your brother—or that's what people said—and James and Lily were killed by Voldemort because of your brother—or that's what people said.

Everything was suddenly too much. You didn't know what to do; you couldn't move; you could hardly breathe, and when you closed the phone, you fell to the floor. You hugged your knees tightly, feeling the weight of the world crashing down on you. Tears streamed down your face as you tried to process the overwhelming emotions flooding through you. You screamed till your voice was hoarse, the pain and confusion consuming you completely. It felt like the ground beneath you was crumbling, leaving you stranded in a world that no longer made sense. And you cried till there were no tears left.

The next time you saw Remus, it was at James and Lily's funeral, and he wasn't looking any better. His eyes were red-rimmed and hollow, his usual calm demeanour replaced by a haunted expression. You both stood there in silence, united in grief, knowing that nothing would ever be the same again. He didn't come closer to you; he didn't speak to you; he didn't even look at you, but you could still see his tired eyes with black circles underneath. No one actually talked to you. It was very obvious that you weren't welcome there. You were a Black after all, and they thought your brother had betrayed them. As you watched the crowd disperse, you felt a heavy weight of loneliness settle in your chest. The whispers and glances only confirmed what you already knew—you were truly alone in your grief. Mary wasn't there either to offer you any comfort or support; she had obliviated herself.

Even when you tried to approach him, he simply turned away without saying a word. You looked too much alike to Sirius, and he couldn't look at you without thinking of him and his betrayal.

So weeks passed, and you found yourself isolated, grappling with your sorrow in silence. The absence of understanding and empathy from those around you only deepened your sense of loss. But you couldn't bear it; you felt like you were losing your mind, being so alone. Everyone was happy, celebrating the end of the war, but you knew that only Remus could understand your pain. You decided to reach out to him, so you went to his house and knocked on his door, hoping he would be there to offer you the comfort and support you desperately needed. But no response came.

"Please, Remus, I know you are in here." You begged with your voice cracking and your eyes watering. The silence that followed only made the ache in your heart grow stronger.

"Please open the door for me; I can't do this by myself, Remus. I just need you." you whimpered. As you stood there, waiting for a sign of life from inside the house, you couldn't help but wonder if Remus had truly abandoned you in your time of need.

You touched the door and got closer, trying to hear any movement on the other side, but all you could hear was the sound of your own heavy breathing. The fear of being alone in this moment was overwhelming, as tears started running down your face.

"I lost my brother, my best friend, and my friends too, you know," you said desperately, hoping that Remus would hear you and open the door. You leaned your forehead against the door, feeling defeated and abandoned. You couldn't beg any more; everything seemed useless. You knew he wouldn't respond to you. So before you go, you whispered once last time.

"You are a coward, Remus Lupin because I know I could have loved you, but you wouldn't let me." After that, you didn't bother him again, and that was the last time Remus heard from you for 14 years.

The next time you saw Remus, it was at one of the meetings of the Order. He had changed; he wasn't the sweet boy you had fallen in love with. His eyes were tired, and there was a hardness to his features that hadn't been there before. It was clear that he hadn't spent the best 14 years of his life.

Every person who didn't help you when you needed them was there. It was too awkward for you. You haven't seen any of them for the past few years. They had pushed you away just because of your last name.

So when Sirius asked you to come to the meetings, at first you refused. He understood why. You had told him how your feelings were ignored even by his best friend; you told him how you were left alone to deal with your own grief. But he begged you.

"Please, Y/N, I can't do this alone in this house." You couldn't say no to your brother. Sirius had forgiven them all, so you decided to do the same. It was already difficult to be a runway from Azkaban, but being isolated at the noble and most ancient house of Black was even worse, and you didn't want to leave him alone.

When you saw Remus again, you froze. Your eyes locked with his, and you felt like you were being pulled back into the past. The pain of losing him was still fresh in your heart, but you knew you had to face him eventually.

He didn't know how to react; he was the one who made you go through hell. He was the one who had left you when you needed him the most because he let his insecurities and fears get the best of him. He could still remember the last thing you said to him before walking away. It was like the sound of your voice haunted him. He knew that it was his fault that he didn't let you love him, so he didn't dare reach out to you, afraid of facing the consequences of his actions.

But you approached him, being the brave Gryffindor you always used to be. You couldn't just pretend that you didn't care anymore, even though he had hurt you deeply. So when you saw him getting outside to light a cigarette, you took the chance and followed him to the balcony.

"Remus," you called his name. It sounded so familiar and so strange at the same time, and Remus could have sworn he felt his heart skip a beat. He turned slowly to face you. You tried to smile at him, but it came out more as a sad grin. He didn't dare call your name; he was scared that it would sound unfamiliar.

"How have you been?" You asked him when you saw he didn't make a move to speak. Remus hesitated at first. He opened his mouth, but he closed it again. It didn't feel fair to pretend like everything was normal when it clearly wasn't.

"I'm sorry," he said finally, ignoring your question.

"Don't be Remus; it's okay now," you commented, even though you didn't feel like it.

"What I did wasn't right; um, you had lost your friends too; fuck sake your brother even," he said, putting his hand on the back of his neck as he tried to find the right words. "I was too selfish. I am sorry; I really am." Remus continued.

"Well, you were," you said with a soft smile, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. "But you can change that, Remus," you added, getting closer to him. You were still hoping that something would change; you were still waiting for the happy ending you deserved after all this pain. Maybe you were just a fool, but you couldn't help it.

But he immediately shook his head. "No, Y/N, come on, you're supposed to be mad at me because I left you all alone. I don't deserve forgiveness," Remus said, looking down in shame. You reached out and gently lifted his chin, meeting his eyes.

"Remus I can't; I can't be mad at you. I was before I came here, and I blame you for almost everything. And I know it sounds stupid, but when I saw you again, all this anger left my body." You said as you felt your eyes watering. "You know that the last time that we actually spoke, we were fighting?" you asked him. Remus nodded, his eyes filled with regret.

"Well, I don't want the last memory of the boy man that I loved love being a fight Remus," you continued.

Remus felt his heart breaking. You were never afraid to show your emotions and speak your mind, and he was so jealous of that.

"I'm not the man you deserve, though, Y/N," he said. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, trying to steady your emotions and trying your best not to feel stupid again.

"It's always ended up like this with you," you whispered, feeling the disappointment settle in your chest.

"I'm so-" Remus tried to say, but you cut him off, shaking your head.

"Don't apologise for something you don't want to change, Remus." You commented, staring straight into his eyes.

"But," he tried again.

"It's okay; I guess still I am a fool, right? " You asked him, and you left him alone. As you walked away, you couldn't help but wonder if things would ever be different between the two of you. The weight of unspoken words hung heavy in the air as you made your way inside. Only time would tell, as you carried on with a heavy heart and a glimmer of hope that someday, somehow, things would be different. But still, you didn't feel like hoping anymore.

As the days passed, you tried to ignore Remus, but it was really difficult as he was in every meeting of the Order. You didn't talk to him after your talk on the balcony, but Remus was dying to speak to you. He knew he didn't have any rights because he was the one who rejected you again and again. However, he found his opportunity when you met Harry for the first time again.

You were alone in the kitchen; Harry had just left, and you were trying to calm yourself.

"He looks exactly like James, doesn't he?" Remus murmured behind you. You slowly turned to look at him, and you nodded.

"I feel like I'm watching him again." You answered him.

"But with Lily's eyes," he continued.

"Exactly, but I felt like if I was going to look at him for a little longer, I would have started crying." You said trying to look away as Remus got closer to you. His hand wiped a tear from your cheek that started running.

"You broke my heart, Remus," you said, getting away from his touch and leaving the room.

Remus was once again left alone, but not for long. Sirius entered the room, shaking his head at his friend's actions. "You really messed up this time," Sirius muttered, crossing his arms and staring at Remus with disappointment. Remus sighed.

"And you are an idiot." Your brother continued.

"Oi," Remus said, looking up at Sirius with a mix of guilt and frustration, slightly offended.

"You love her so much that you are afraid that you are going to hurt her, but you are too blind to see that you're already hurting her because of that fear," Sirius said to his friend. "I can't watch her run behind you for all her life, Moony; please change that." He continued, and without hearing Remus's answer, he left him once again alone.

After the day you met Harry again, you stopped going to the meetings of the Order; it was too much for you. Watching Remus again and again and trying to pretend he didn't break your heart was becoming unbearable. You were still a member, and you still learned the news for Sirius, but you couldn't bring yourself to face Remus after everything that had happened. And he knew that you had stopped showing your face in meetings just because of him.

So the next time you saw him, it was on a mission. On the mission, you lost Sirius. On the mission, you saw your cousin killing your brother in front of your eyes. Everything went quiet for a second. You couldn't hear Harry's scream or Bellatrix's song. You didn't even hear Remus calling your name as you fell to your knees in shock. The world seemed to spin around you, and all you could see was the image of Sirius falling through the veil. Remus's voice finally broke through the fog in your mind.

"Y/N" Remus called again. You just shook your head. You couldn't believe it. You had lost your brother again, but this time forever.

When you were at your worst, Remus was there for you. You felt grateful for his presence and support for the first time in a long time. You knew you weren't alone in your grief. He came and lived with you until you could finally begin to heal from the loss of Sirius. When you would have a nightmare, he was next to you, making you tea and trying to comfort you. Remus truly became your rock during this difficult time. But this treatment didn't last for long. He started watching, that you became attached to him, and he knew it wasn't healthy for either of you. You didn't deserve him, he reminded himself again and again. Even though he wanted to feel your lips touch his, he couldn't allow himself to act on those feelings. So when he noticed you weren't grieving any more, Remus started distancing himself from you, and you understood that, so you decided to make it easier for him. You didn't like feeling like a burden on him, so you slowly began to create some distance as well.

"I want you to leave." You finally dared to tell him. Remus was taken aback by your words, but he knew deep down that it was his fault. He had brought it upon himself by pushing you away in the first place and rejecting you again and again.

"What?" He asked confusedly, not expecting such a direct request from you. You took a deep breath and repeated.

"You are distracting yourself from me again, Remus, so I'm making it easier for you, and I'm asking you to leave."

"Y/N," he called your name; it almost sounded like a plea for you to reconsider.

"Look. I can't, Remus. I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling like a fool waiting for you to let me love you," you said, trying not to let the frustration and hurt seep into your voice. "So, or you're gonna stay and we'll figure it out, or you're gonna leave and we'll go our separate ways. It's up to you now," you finished, steeling yourself for his response. Remus looked down, his expression unreadable, before finally nodding and turning to leave without another word to start packing his stuff.

When he finally left, you didn't cry that night; you physically couldn't; there weren't any tears left. You were used to this feeling of being left alone. You just felt numb, like a hollow shell, devoid of any emotion or warmth. The silence in the room was deafening, only broken by the sound of your own shallow breaths. You lay there in the darkness, staring blankly at the ceiling. It was okay, you told yourself. You would get through this, just like you always did.

Remus didn't know how to feel. He told himself that he had made a promise with your brother to make you stop running behind him, and he believed that he was doing the right thing. But, oh, Sirius didn't mean that, and deep down, he knew that.

It had been one year since you heard from Remus and every other member of the Order. You had stopped using magic, well, except from your house. You decided to distance yourself from the wizarding world completely, focusing on your Muggle life instead. It wasn't easy at first, but you managed. You found a Muggle work as a barista at a local coffee shop. You were content with your new routine.

You left behind a world that gave you so much pain, but the memories of your past still lingered in the back of your mind. So you were trying to forget and let everything go. But when Remus appeared suddenly at your door, you couldn't help but feel a rush of emotions and memories flood back. Despite your efforts to move on, the wizarding world seemed determined to pull you back in.

"Remus," you called his name in shock. He looked up at you, and he could barely look into your eyes.

"What, um, what are you doing here?" You asked, surprised by his unexpected appearance. You felt your heart beat faster as you struggled to be relaxed.

Remus hesitated before responding. "I'm getting married," he finally said. Your eyes widened in surprise as you processed his words, leaving you speechless.

You shook your head trying to process the news and at the same time denied it.

"I want you there, Y/N." He said, and an awkward chuckle left your mouth.

"Me? At your wedding?" You stammered, still shaking your head.

Remus didn't answer you; he just stood there, still trying to avoid your gaze.

"No, Remus," you stated. "I can't do that," you said firmly, trying to hide the hurt in your voice. Remus looked down.

"Please, Y/N, you-" he started saying.

"Remus, you broke my heart again and again because you wouldn't let me love you, and you are coming here asking me to come to your wedding. What, was she prettier?" You asked, taking a breath before continuing, "Actually, I don't want to know."

"But, you know what, Remus, I'll begin not to love you, and I'll tell myself that I deserve someone who will choose me every single day without hesitation, but you, Remus, time will cast a spell on you, and you won't forget me. Because you'll never get away from the sound of a woman that loved you." You stood there, strong and hurt, biting your lips, trying to hold back tears.

You didn't say anything else, and he just stood there in silence, unable to meet your gaze. The weight of your words hung heavy in the air between you, a painful reminder of what could have been, as you closed the door behind you, leaving him to ponder the truth of your words in solitude. The echo of your declaration remained in his mind, a haunting melody that he couldn't shake off.

bonus.

A year had passed since Remus's unexpected visit. At that time, you had moved on from your old wizard life. You bought a new house, trying to leave behind any reminders of your past. You had let go of the dreams and hopes you once held for Remus and accepted that some things were not meant to be.

But on one sunny day in May, as you were looking outside the window, something caught your attention. There seemed to be an unusually high number of people dressed in strange cloaks around the city. And you immediately knew that something had happened. You started getting worried that maybe something had happened to your old friends, so you decided to buy The Daily Prophet.

When your owl arrived, the front page of The Daily Prophet had a large headline that read, You-Know-Who has been defeated. Your heart leapt with joy as you realised that the wizarding world wasn't so dark after all.

But as you continued reading, your eyes fell upon the names of those who had lost their lives in the battle, and a wave of sadness washed over you. And when you saw Remus's name between them, your heart sank. You couldn't believe it. Remus, the man who had loved you with all your heart, was gone. And despite everything, you couldn't help but feel a deep sense of loss. All the pain and anger you had towards him suddenly disappeared, replaced by a deep sadness for what could have been. You remembered all the moments you had shared with him, both good and bad, and before you could even realise it, a small cry left your mouth. And now, all those memories felt bittersweet as tears streamed down your face.

Because even though he was the man you used to love once, your last memory of him was a fight.

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reblogs are always appreciated!

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Time cast a spell on you, but you won't forget me I know I could've loved you, but you would not let me