#i want to make bao and that will simply not do

[romanceyourdemons]

i really need to invest in an actual steamer i cannot keep building the tower of babel out of plates and sieves every time

[nicka-nell]

A rainy Sunday

Pairing: Osamu x. Atsumu x, Bokuto x, Akaashi x, Iwaizumi x reader

Warning: fluff, comedy

Osamu is busy all week, keeping his store running. So he’s happy if you don’t do much on Sundays.

Lying on the sofa, doing nothing or cooking something simple together is his perfect Sunday.

So Osamu doesn’t really care whether it’s raining outside or not.

You’re both in the kitchen wanting to make a simple meal. Since you wanted to eat bao buns again, Osamu prepared the meat and started chopping the vegetables. In the meantime, you have put all the dry ingredients such as flour, yeast, sugar and salt into a bowl, which you have placed on the top edge of the kitchen board before putting a coconut in the middle of the cutting board. “What are ya doing with the coconut?” Osamu asks you, somewhat confused, as he cuts the carrots into small, thin strips.

“I’ve heard that the dough tastes better if you use coconut water. I wanna try it out,” you say and try to cut open the coconut with a knife. Skeptically Osamu observes you. His heart is bleeding as he watches you pushing the knife back and forth on the hard coconut shell, as if you were holding a saw in your hand. “You’ll make the knife blunt like this,” he says, receiving a sharp look from you before you try to use more force to open the coconut.

“Do ya need... help?” Osamu asks, but you just shake your head and press your weight against the knife when suddenly the kitchen board starts to sway and fly towards you. With the bowl containing the dry ingredients for the buns, of course… You hadn’t noticed that one edge of the board was hanging over the kitchen worktop.

The coconut and chopping board fall to the floor before you place the knife on the worktop, taking a deep breath as you turn towards Osamu. You’re covered in flour from your hairline to your pants. Your face, your top, everything. Osamu has to pull himself together not to laugh and your evil expression doesn’t make this funny picture of the little flour-minion which is standing in front of him any better. He opens his mouth and raises his finger, closes his mouth again before opening it again to say something, but you stop him directly.

“Don’t... even think about saying anything!” you say in a tense voice. But Osamu can’t hold back any longer. “Why are ya so flour-ious?” he says, bursting into laughter and smacking his hand on the worktop, still bawling his eyes out. “Osamu Miya, you’re a dead man,” you say and take a few steps towards him, but Osamu is quicker as he runs out of the kitchen and away from you.

Atsumu doesn’t like rainy days. Especially when he has a day off, he would like to meet up with you and his friends or simply go out with you.

In your apartment you can relax all day, and sometimes such a lazy day is nice. But it doesn’t have to be like this every day.

Today he had been looking forward to playing Viking chess outside in the park, but the rain canceled the little trip. 

“Babe, should we throw the football back and forth?” asks Atsumu as he looks at the collection of balls lying in a basket in the living room. You’ve come out of the bathroom, just shaking your head. You may have a large apartment, but playing with a ball in an apartment is never a good idea. 

“Come on, let’s go into the hallway and throw the ball to each other carefully and lightly,” he almost grumbles. In the end, you give in, just sigh and go with him into your long hallway to throw the ball back and forth a few times. “Did I tell ya that my mom wanted to invite us to a barbecue next weekend?” He asks as he catches the ball and throws it towards you with little force. With a soft huff, you catch it, adjust it in your hand and throw it back. “No, you didn’t. Should we bring something?”

“Just a salad, if it’s in our time,” he says, before throwing the ball again and, as expected, exactly what you always see in every damn commercial happens. Atsumu throws past you and hits the sculpture his mother had given you before it wobbles, falls to the ground, and breaks. A seagull or something that actually looks like it, with a muscular chest. However, its chest looks like two breasts, and then the seagull is wearing wide heart pants and is standing on a melted ice cream. The thing is actually really ugly, but it came from Atsumu’s mom. Eyes wide and mouth open, you look over at Atsumu, who just grimaces and mumbles “oops”.

“The next time your mother is here, she’ll immediately notice that the sculpture is missing. Ah damn, I knew that would happen... she’ll be so sad…” you sigh and run to the sculpture to see if there’s anything you can do to fix it. But no chance.

“Uh, I’ll just tell my mom it was yer clumsiness. After all, she likes her cute daughter-in-law. Anyway, I want to stay the kid she likes more. Don’t wanna see Samu as her fav kid,” Atsumu says and is about to take his phone out of his pocket when you run up to him and take it out of his hand. “Oh dare you, Atsumu Miya! You foul snake!”

We all know that Atsumu broke this ugly sculpture on purpose.

If the weather was nice, Bokuto and you would meet up outside with Akaashi or take your dog for a walk.

But today it’s really stormy. So you’re only going for a short walk today, using the rest of the time on the stress-free day to spend time together.

“Shall we do a spa day today? I’ll mix up a quick face mask and make us each a Gin Tonic with cucumber and lime and we’ll lie down on the sofa and continue watching our series?” You ask Bokuto, who nods with a broad grin and looks at you disappear into the bathroom. Bokuto loves it when you smear your face cream on his face. He doesn’t even know why. Well, maybe it’s because of his two older sisters, who always used him as a little make-up doll back then. Yet he liked it because these soft make-up brushes were just so soft and nice on his skin.

You come out of the bathroom, the masks already mixed in a small bowl, as you go into the kitchen to get your drinks ready. But then you hear a strange clicking sound coming from the living room. With the drinks and the bowl with the scrub in it on a tray, you walk into the living room, only to see Bokuto sitting on the floor with your dog. You have to hold back your laughter when you see him. 

“Koutarou baby, what are you doing?” you ask him as you walk towards him and put the tray down on the living room table. Bokuto has wrapped cling film around his forehead, smeared peanut butter on it and is currently trimming your dog’s claws while the dog calmly licks the peanut butter off Bokuto’s forehead.

“You said we were having a spa day. So our cute pookie here must have a spa day too. And the peanut butter makes it much easier to cut his claws. A great idea, isn’t it?” Bokuto says quite proud of himself as he trims the last of your dog’s claws and pushes the cling film off his forehead. 

So after your dog has had his claws trimmed, you throw yourselves onto the sofa with your masks on your faces and your dog between you, before you toast with your drinks and enjoy the series on the TV.

Akaashi doesn’t let rainy days spoil his mood.

He actually likes these days, and even more so when it’s a Sunday.

These are days when he can simply be quiet and relaxed at home, without stress at work or any other unnecessary events.

Akaashi is lying on the sofa, enjoying the patter of raindrops on your windows while reading a book on his Kindle. You’re also busy listening to music on your headphones while you fold the laundry in the bathroom and clean the apartment a bit. Nothing exciting, just the things you don’t usually get to do during the week. For Akaashi and you, you’ve already prepared a lunchbox for work tomorrow as you put your headphones away and join him in the living room.

Completely engrossed in his book, Akaashi lies there. His body stretched out on the sofa, the Kindle in front of him in his hands, while he rests his head on a pillow. You don’t want to disturb him by turning on the TV. So you tiptoe around him before crawling over to him on the sofa and slipping your head under his arms, which he is using to hold up his Kindle. With a tired smile, you look up at him briefly. He returns your smile with a soft “sleepy?” before you drop your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

Your hands nestle around his upper body as you close your eyes. Akaashi readjusts the Kindle, puts it in one hand while he strokes your head with the other, giving you a kiss on the top of your head, before he moves his hand down to your back, holding you in his arms. Just like him, you are now enjoying the silence. The raindrops on your window and the storm outside.

Iwaizumi usually enjoys spending time with you. Whether it’s raining or not.

After all, some stores are also open on Sundays. Besides, you can also meet up with friends. 

You actually wanted to go to a gravel pit today to go swimming, but the weather ruined your plans. Because just as you’re about to go out the door, Iwaizumi in his swimming trunks, a shirt and flip-flops, and you in sandals and a summer dress, it starts to pour big raindrops. He clicks his tongue and disappointedly realizes that it’s supposed to rain all day from now on, so swimming outdoors is a thing of the past.

“Oh boy... I was really looking forward to going out with you again and having fun. After the last few exhausting weeks we’ve had, this would have been really great...” you sigh and look at the weather outside your open front door. Iwaizumi doesn’t miss your sad look. He had been happy about the trip, too.

He sighs in frustration, but then he takes a step outside, grabs you by the hand, before lifting it in a gentlemen style and pulling you towards him in the rain. “We can also have fun like this. The weather doesn’t have to dictate that, does it?” Says Iwaizumi and spins you around before he starts dancing with you in the rain.

At first you shriek as you feel the rain on your skin. Notice how your clothes get wet and stick to your body. But somehow this cold summer rain, on this incredibly warm day, is so refreshing on your skin, the whole situation so funny and somehow romantic, that you lean against him and continue dancing for several more minutes.

You don’t let the cars that drive past you on the main road next to your house bother you. Some even slow down and watch you briefly before driving on. But that doesn’t interrupt your dance. You have fun, enjoy the time together until it starts to thunder and, for your own safety, you go back into the house and end the day with a warm bath together.

Did you catch a cold because you were out in the rain and soaking wet? Yes, you did. But it was worth it.

here you can vote for the topic of the next haikyu smau -> vote here

[kentomilk]

ᴶᴶᴷ & ᴬᴼᵀ ᴵᴺ

𝐖𝐑𝐀𝐏 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 ‧₊𓎩˚

with your partner yearning for an approachable gateway and immersion into your culture as well as an official introduction into your family, what better way to do that than with dumplings?

catalogue. fluff, modern au, pre-established relationship, written with fem!reader in mind; but no pronouns specified. cw: food preparation/ intended consumption, mildly suggestive (?) cultural traditions, domestic family teasing, mentions of children, alcohol consumption/ age not explicitly specified; but intended to be over 21 per US laws. wc: 1.2k thea’s preamble. by definition a dumpling is a small mound of dough flattened, maintaining a certain thickness for chew or absolute thinness, then filled with a well-seasoned paste/mixture, usually meat. like, gyoza 餃子, mandu 만두, xiao long bao 小笼包 which is my primary inspiration. BUT there's also lumpia from Indonesia and the Philippines, Italian ravioli, Indian modak, Polish pierogi, South American empanadas (i fucking love empanadas), pasteles, Ukrainian vareniky, Botswanan madombi, British pasty. my point is if you don't read into it too intensely, this is for anyone.

it was intended to be such an intimate moment and in their eyes the official inauguration to your family, as well as the perfect entry point into learning about your culture that you’ve only grown stronger and more confident in with age. and what better way to immerse yourself in another’s culture than through food?

with that being said…they tried, they really did.

it seemed simple in theory, add a decent bundle of the filling to the center of the wrapper, fold the wrapper over itself, and apply the liquid adhesive to seal the seams, crimping, folding, or rolling the seams shut as needed. simple right?

well apparently not, there’s a tray full of “complete” dumplings with tears in the dough and the filling either smeared or oozing out, over-filled, or not enough… and it's quite obvious who made those. the intricacy and swiftness that you and your parents achieved thus producing a quarter sheet pan’s worth, overwhelmed the poor baby. they certainly have their strengths lying primarily in physicality, but the agility and patience needed for such a small product outcome were not in their capabilities.

you reassured them that it wasn't uncommon to have such results, frankly, it was impressive for a first-timer that they didn't collapse from frustration. "you'll get it eventually, today you just relax." you consoled, rubbing your hand on top of theirs.

"plus, you're still considered a guest, you have plenty of time before you're officially let into the pack and forced to do the mountain of dishes or babysit." you chuckled.

to which they agreed, today their strengths would lie in being the human ladder to get objects from high-up places, refilling wine and liquor for the adults, providing sliced fruits, and just sitting at the table supervising the unspoken competition of who can make the most dumplings, replenishing scarce ingredients as needed to. salivating at the sight as well as the uncooked aroma from the fresh herbs and spices used. surrounded by family, engaging in lively or even profound conversations, no matter how shy they were initially.

rest assured, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, and maybe another time they’ll give it another shot, but for now, they’ll leave it to the pros.

EREN, JEAN ANNIE, GOJO, TOJI

their initial attempts were… admirable, but they weren’t satisfied with that. they wanted to do right by you, secure the approval of your family, and not feel absolute guilt at only contributing to the conversation and not the actual meal assembly process.

simply put, they're quite stubborn. they carefully studied each family member, the differing methods, and tendencies. from the angle of spooning the filling in the wrapper to the adhesive sealing— plain water vs. starch water?

they were determined, and with patience and encouragement from family, they were finally able to produce a perfect little flavor receptacle, savory and hearty. shrieking out an unexpected, "i did it!" that garnered a reaction that you couldn't help but laugh at either.

but they would not yet allow themselves even a minute victory until they garnered 100% of the acceptance, mainly from their own inner conflict of merit.

this may be their first time truly comprehending the phrase, ‘tasting the fruits of your labor’. and never had they had a sweeter meal, not in the literal sense of a saccharine feast. but the resolve and dogged attitude (stubbornness) was a taste that they would savor in the complete dish, something they would come to value greatly come the next culinary undertaking. "i made this!" they'd think to themself.

try not to be too surprised if you catch them in the early morning, meticulously crimping, folding, and rolling the edges of the wrapper, ensuring as little air as possible gets in the center, just as your grandmother taught them.

more than that it was an amusing sight seeing them nearly nude only wearing a pink frilly apron that you were gifted from relatives, "what do you think?" they teased, a question which you rolled your eyes at, considering they weren't asking about the food.

though you must admit, they did look incredible, for a rookie. and it was a beautiful sight to behold, an incredibly attractive person cooking in your kitchen, insistent on making you proud. i guess now the only issue lies in the lack of space in your freezer in contrast to the large batches of dumplings that are sure to last you months. let's hope this is an acceptable housewarming gift for the new neighbors.

BERTHOLDT, REINER, CONNIE , SUKUNA (hear me out), CHOSO

are we surprised? though they may not seem like the kinds to thrive in arts and crafts, their handiwork is nimble, and their dexterity is unmatched. they were initially slow to follow the instructions given to them, but after diligent observation, it was a task pursued and completed well. almost as if they too partook in similar repetitive affairs in their youth. sitting around the dining table, with heaps of filling and a lofty stack of dough wrappers, sometimes there’d be music in the back, but even if there was it would always be drowned out by the conversation that were being had. an endless variety of discussion topics, filled with light-hearted quarrels and absolute fits of laughter.

and if you’re being completely honest, it’s been approximately 5 minutes since the laughter erupted, and you can’t even remember what was so funny that you’re now clutching your stomach in what may be the best kind of pain, struggling to catch your breath and maintain composure. those were some of the memories you held dearly when you were younger, and it’s no different now. and with them by your side, falling in love over again with what seems like the acme of your joy, one they’d hope to preserve and maintain for as long as possible. a pride that one simply can't explain.

but where there is pride and inflated egos, there are grandmothers and aunties to humble you, making remarks comparing your tray to your partners.

"wowww, this is your first time, and they look perfect!" they'd exclaim, making their way around the table. "you should take lessons from them." they'd continue teasing you, whilst pinching your partner's cheek or slapping them on the back just a little too hard.

by the end of the feast, your partner certainly got the elders' approvals, no less by your parents, who absolutely adore them. it’s also a food they loved eating, lovingly introduced by you, and now you’ve made them even more of a fiend then they already were. fully enjoying the bonding experience this has facilitated, as well a first-hand experience to the little things that helped maintain your cultural identity.

and they would be lying if they weren’t completely consumed by the thought that one day you would be the ones your ancestors depended on to carry on the traditions. with the future generations of your bloodline, if not your own children by preference, then your nieces, nephews, and cousins, who are currently wrapped around their very finger. to them, a jungle gym to be climbed, a pristine and willing model for a family-renowned makeup artist, an unsuspecting outsider that could be the green light for some sweets that the parentals refused earlier, but they don’t need to know that.

ERWIN, LEVI, ARMIN, SASHA, MIKASA, GETO, NANAMI, SHOKO

above all a lovely bonding experience for you and your partner:)

[interactions] reblogs, comments & likes are appreciated ₊˚⊹♡

dividers by @/pettypixels-love

[quitealotofsodapop]

Of course! Luzhen has to be there to see everything! He doesn't get tto go into town much at all so everything is new and different! And he is very much an Explorer like his bug brother mama. Wukong kinda has to keep him up there or he'll bounce off and they'll never find him again!

The twins are, once again, tbe bane of my existence. This time the colors were what I struggled with most. They simply did not want to color. They're mischievous, but less so than normal. Rumble don't feel too food with all the noise even through the headphones so Savage jsut wants to stick close to their sibling and they both stay close to Mom, but they still throws bao at their big brother's head. Just to be stinkers.

Yuebei is very much staying close to Mama, but she's happy to meet Dinosaur Girl. Her hanfu is intentionally big because I imagine she's going through the first of many growth spurts, so she needs the room. Yuebei is the most excited about the parade because she likes fireworks like Mama does, but keeps trying to eat things she shouldn't.

Wukong is my pride and joy in that Pic. I tried very, very hard to make him look human but not too human while also not obviously being a monkey. Maybe they think he's a cat, idk, they jsut know that ain't a human. He's super tired with all the cubs but still very much a stern and loving mom, it's the experience with all the babysitting he does for his subjects. He is the first to drop his glamour and the only one to do so on purpose, dropping it pretty much as soon as Spider Queen's hive bots try to target one of his cubs to get them away. He meets up with MK somewhere in the middle and hands the babies over before going to do the monkey king thing. MK shortly hands them over to Sandy in turn to follow after but has to flee because gross spiders and his mom getting caught. I like to think thay while the interaction goes similar to how he got caught the first time, the actual capture happened because Wukong pushed MK out of the way and ordered him to run as soon as he realized LBD was there

referencing.

Luzhen is one misadventure away from Wukong making him a leash baby. He's so much like his big brother/adoptive mom that it worries Wukong sometimes. He just glad that his mini-me doesn't care for peaches XD

Rumble & Savage are so chaotic, they cause issues outside the forth wall. They def make a point of tossing bao buns at MK's head when he isn't looking - though he might just catch it mid-air with his teeth, he's had practice around these two. They likely try to avoid too much of the parade, but they still appreciate the visuals of the fireworks.

Oh gosh Yuebei hitting a (one of many to come) growth spurt and Wukong trying his best to find her nice day clothes that she hasn't outgrown. Yuebei hides behind her mama shyly before Mei says Hi, and suddenly the baby girl is excitedly pointing at Mei.

Mei: "Aww! Is she curious about me?" Wukong, sighs knowing whats coming: "Yes. She's fascinated with your skin." Mei: "No problem - these are my scale patches. I'm a d-" Yuebei, overjoyed: "Dinosaur!" Mei: "...Yep! I'm a dinosaur!" Yuebei: (*delighted giggling and bouncing in place!*) Wukong, whispering: "Sorry, she's in a big dinosaur phase." Mei: "Oh don't worry! I was a horse girl growing up! Gotta encourage her!"

Wukong is beautiful in the art. He's so soft and strong looking. I can imagine he steals MK away to see the parade for a bit (and ask him how well his experiences in the city are going), only to get blindsided by the Spider Gang's attack. A spider-bot scares the babies and immediately it's Monkey King-mode.

MK just gets handed his little siblings when it becomes obvious that MK is terrified of the arachnid enemies. Wukong knows MK isn't ready to take these guys on and doesn't want his eldest to lock up under pressure, so he tells him to take his siblings and get out of there. The twins argue that they want to stay and fight but protective mama Wukong ain't having it. MK runs to the Noodle Gang since Sandy is almost guaranteed to have a vehicle that can get them out of there (or barring that the HQ in the bowel of his ship).

And ofc as the pressure/severity of the situation increases, MK's own glamour falls apart - leaving a panicking monkey demon in the human's place.

Tang, triumphantly: "HAH! Told you! Monkey demon!" Pigsy: (*grumbling*) MK: "Huh?" Pigsy: "We sorta had this running theory that you weren't 100% human, kid." MK: "Since when?" Pigsy: "Since before you picked up the staff. I thought you were like, a human raised by demons or something." Sandy: "I personally thought you might have been part cat demon." MK: "...did anyone think I was just human??" Red Son: "I did." MK: "GAAHH! How'd you get on the ship!?"

Just a full chaotic New Years

[ichijager13]

There’s no good in evil

Summary :  In a city full of crimes and atrocity Dazai have found a shelter in you. He always ends up in your place when he needs to wash away his dark soul before leaving you again with souvenirs of your shared moments. This time was no different.

A/N: Happy new year !! Here’s a fic I wrote and published on AO3 last summer. The story takes place right before the movie dead apple. 

I wrote this fic listening to Duvet by Bao. 

Enjoy reading lovelies :* 

Word count: 2,6k

You couldn’t believe this day was finally over. You have never felt this tired before. Opening your apartment door you were daydreaming about the bath you will sink in and that piece of ice cream cake you have in the freezer when you heard a voice humming a song. It was his voice, there was no doubt. It’s been almost two months since you last saw him. you quickly took off your shoes and put your coat on the hanger before heading to the kitchen.

“And you don’t seem the lying kind

A shame that I could read your mind

And all the things that I read there

Candle lit smile that we both share

And you know I don’t mean to hurt you”.

You leaned against the kitchen door frame admiring this strange man singing and swaying ridiculously. “That’s not your double suicide song, changed your mind?”. You taunted.

“Hello there, no I didn’t. I’m only waiting for you to accept to do it with me”. A silly smile crept across his lips. “Besides this one reminds me of you”.

“Really? How come?”. Your brows furrowed.

“I can read your mind easily and I never wanted to hurt you”. He answered still turning his back to you.

“And what are you making?”. You were now standing behind him.

“A ramen, it’s cold and you had to stay outside till this late. You need something warm”. Smiling you propped your head against his back.

“Thank you”.

You remained like this for a while before you broke the silence.

“How are you Dazai?”.

“As fresh as a daisy”. He turned and held your face in his hands. “But you, you don’t seem alright. Did you miss me that bad”. Blushing you look away. You always wondered how can he read you like in an open book. You could never hide anything from him.

“I’m here now”. He smiled sheepishly.

“For how long?”

Ignoring your question, he asked you to go change and prepare yourself for dinner.

It has always been like this; he shows up unannounced and then he disappears just as fast. You lost count of how many times you resolved to never let him in again, to change your door lock, and other unfulfilled decisions. You even screamed and kicked him out of your place before falling into his arms. Dazai wasn’t one to settle down, he is like the wind he once told you, you can never lock him in. he was so drunk that night he even apologized for what he was putting you through. He confessed that wherever he was and whatever he was doing he always finds his way back to you. like there was some sort of gravity always pulling him back to you.

“Where are you?”. he called in that annoying high-pitched sound he uses to taunt you. “Dinner is ready”.

You came out from your bathroom hair wrapped in a towel. “A person cannot take a shower after a long day at work anymore?” you snickered.

“Not allowed”. He shook his index finger. “Not without me”. He shot you a determined look making you giggle.

“I’ll try to remember next time”. You hummed loudly. “The smell is amazing”. He grinned before sitting across from you.

“You added a new bookshelf”. You nodded. “And you bought a new pan and changed the blinds of the living room”.

“Yes, mister detective”.

“And you cut your hair”. He paused. “It looks good on you”. reaching a hand to caress your hair.

“Thank you”. you took a sip from your beer. “What happened to your face?”

“A small accident during work”. He simply answered. “Do you mind if I spend the night here?”. He tilted his head.

“When did I mind such a thing”.

“Good! And would you play with my hair as well?” he pouted. “Pretty, pretty please”.

“Okay, okay”. You let out laughing.

*****

You were now laying on your bed while he was showering. You have always kept his items in case he ever appeared again. It wasn’t an easy thing to deal with but you couldn’t throw them away as well. You never knew what to do or think when it comes to him and it infuriates you.

Looking up you were met with his dark eyes. He was standing at the door drying himself and watching you.

“What are you thinking about?” how come he always decodes every move or facial expression you make while you were unable to understand the simplest thing about him. “By the way, thank you for keeping my stuff. Nothing compares to fresh and clean clothes”. He hung the towel before putting on sweats and crawling into the bed next to you.

You smiled at him and caressed his face. Closing his eyes, he leaned into your touch.

“I don’t deserve you, you’re too good for me”. he breathed. “I should have let you go a long time ago but I’m too selfish to do such a thing”. He placed a kiss on your wrist. “you’re everything I’m not”.

“But you always come back”. You whispered.

He nodded, “I do, I know I shouldn’t but I always do. I’m sorry”.

You vigorously shake your head, “Don’t be. I could’ve changed the door lock or simply moved to another place. But I never did”.

“Yeah, you never did”. He fell on the pillow. “You’re the only thing making me hold on to life, and believe that there are still people with pure hearts. What I can never understand is how come someone like me…”.

You placed your finger on his lips preventing him from saying more. “There is good in evil you know. And I believe that deep down inside you there is pureness”.

His gaze was on you as a lazy smile appeared on his face. “I missed you… and I need you. I need you to be able to keep doing good things, ‘cause there is no good in me”. He brought you closer to him. “I need your light to chase away the shadows that haunt my soul”. His breath was now all over your face and neck. “I need you to be able to continue living”. He rested his head on your chest and closed his eyes. “And now, can you please play with my hair as you promised earlier”. He said in a childish voice, it’s crazy how he can switch from dead serious and depressed to childish and filled with joy. Without a word you buried your hand in his hair and started scratching his skull. “Ah, like that”. He sighed happily.

“So, how’s work?” you inquired.

“Interesting, the new gifted I told you about the other time, Atsushi he is getting better and seems to manage his ability. Oh, and you won’t believe what I have done to kunikida last time”. A mischievous smirk appeared on his lips. “He nearly lost his mind”.

“Don’t you think you should give him a break?”. You said amused.

“Never”. He stood up. “Never ever ask me such a thing again”. He was completely on top of you now. “That’s the only thing that entertains me”. his face was inches away from yours, you don’t know for how much time he remained like this. You gave up counting and calculating with him because whether you like it or not, he always wins. He will kiss when he feels like it, not before not after. But that didn’t stop your body from anticipating and aching for his touch. Each time his hands or lips were placed on you, your body was set on fire. When Dazai was around everything you submit to him, you simply lose control of everything. Your eyes were closed when he finally connected his lips to yours and started kissing you. you let out a low moan when his tongue slipped between your parted lips. “I missed this as well”. He whispered against your mouth, before tucking at the waistband of your shorts. “Why do you wear this many clothes when I’m around huh?”. His finger was now pulling your panties down.

“Dazai”.

He stopped. “What is it?”. From the tone of his voice, you can tell he is frowning.

“Not tonight, please”. You propped yourself on your elbows. “I’m really exhausted. I won’t be able to keep up”. you smiled lazily. “Let’s leave it till tomorrow, deal?”

He pulled your panties back to their place whining, “That’s not fair”. He fell on the mattress and brought you against him. “Can I at least hug you?”.

You smiled softly, “Couldn’t ask for better”. You put your hand back in his hair and buried yourself in his embrace. “I missed this too”. You muttered before drifting into sleep.

It was still dark when you opened your eyes. You woke up to the feeling of someone watching you. feeling the warmth of his body and his hands inventing invisible schemes on your back you buried yourself in his embrace.

“You’re still here��. you whispered then you fell back asleep. He knows what he is doing is wrong but he is as helpless as you are. He knows he can’t be with you but each time he leaves something breaks inside of him. each time he comes back he tells himself it’s the last time he puts you through this but he always ends up at your door. And even then, he wishes you have changed the door lock or moved out. He even found himself hoping he’d find someone at your place. He knows he can never make you happy, not with the way he was living his life. He had even thought about committing suicide at your place but the sight of your sad pretty eyes made him change his mind.

Behind his goofiness and heartless attitude hide a broken and bruised soul and he didn’t want to get you stuck in the middle of this mess, his mess. Was it too late to do the right thing? Can he keep his promise this time and leave you alone? What if you both run away and settle down in a calm small town or even a farm? Lots of questions and ideas were going through his mind. He closed his eyes and tried to clear his thoughts and sleep, but it didn’t work. Giving up he picked up his book and started reading.

It was right before dawn when he felt you moving. With a sleepy smile plastered on your face, you hugged him. “It always feels good to have you near”.

He brought you closer for a kiss. “Good morning my angel”. You peppered kisses all over his face smiling at his words. Your lips traveled down his neck, and torso ‘til his lower abdomen.

Dazai half sit and asked, “What are you doing?”

“I tasted you in my dreams, now I know what I want for breakfast”. You smiled at him.

“Is that so?” a wicked smirk stretching his face.

You glanced once more at the dark-haired man before yanking both his sweats and underwear down freeing his shaft. You started caressing it softly, and as soon as it began to harden you started pumping it making him gasp. That was the only sound you managed to earn from his parted lips until you moved things to the next level. Locking your gaze, you dragged your tongue up and down his cock. It was when you sucked his tip that you made him groan deeply.

“If you keep doing this to me each time, ah, I believe I’m gonna end up forgetting about suicide”.

You had him now entirely in your mouth; moving your head up and down and changing the rhythm from time to time you were doing your best to pleasure him. when he finally came undone, he brought on his chest and caressed your hair for a few minutes silently.

“What time is it?” you asked.

He checked his phone, “4 am, feeling tired sweetheart?”. You nodded and he secured you in with his arms. “Then let’s go back to sleep shall we”.

When you woke up again it was 9 am, the place beside you was empty and the house was quiet. At first, you thought he was showering or in the kitchen making breakfast but while resting your back against your headboard you noticed a folded paper on your nightstand. With shaky hands, you took and unfold it. It was dazai’s handwriting.

“My lovely angel,

Months after I met you, Odasaku told me that you bring out the good in me. That day I laughed at his words and told him that there is no good in evil. And I was right, the three of us knew that I was. I have to go somewhere; I might even be gone by the time you wake up or at least I hope so. During the couple of years I spent with you when I left the port mafia, you made me realize that Odasaku was right about something. there is good, but not in me. There is good in this world. You, Odasaku, and Atsushi helped me understand it and I’m glad people like you do exist. I’ll keep helping people and doing good things but this will never change my nature. I’m just doing it for Odasaku and for you.

This, my angel, will be the last time I be seeing you. I figured leaving you alone is the best thing I could offer you. you deserve better than the suicidal manic and twisted man that I am. I hope you meet someone who will be able to give you all the things I couldn’t offer you. that you will live a long and happy life. I wish you all of this because even though I always play dumb and oblivious, I do realize that you mean a lot to me. In fact, I’m in love with you. I fell in love with you the first day you discovered me laying on the side of the road after my suicide attempt. And it bugs me to be unable to give you what you deserve. But what upsets me the most is that I always hurt you. so, I decided to put an end to this vicious cycle I have created years ago. I’m setting you free.

Please take good care of yourself and continue to be the cheerful young lady you have always been.

I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you. I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.

Goodbye.

Dazai Osamu”

You covered your mouth with both hands and let out a deep groan before falling onto his side of the bed sobbing. This time the pain was stronger and more violent. This time there was no hope he’d be back days, weeks, or months later. This time he was gone for good. You hugged his pillow and cried harder. You have always known that this day would inevitably come but that never kept you from hoping he’d just let you have a normal relationship. You were never prepared for this. You cursed your heart for loving such a man. You cursed him for always finding a way to hurt you. you cursed yourself for not running away when you first decided to, for always opening your arms and house for him, and for truly believing that you had a chance to be happy. You know what he did was the right thing but that didn’t ease the pain let alone make you feel better. You closed your eyes and tried to recall his face and voice one last time. You smiled bitterly at the memory and then fell asleep once more curled up in your bed with his pillow brought against your body.

[attonposting]

Presenting: A Mostly Complete Breakdown of the KotOR II Crew's Relationships With Each Other

(Assuming a LS Exile, a dollop of headcanon, and a lot of reading time)

Kreia

Kreia and Atton: Of all the crewmate dynamics in the game, this one's the most well-explored, with a particularly glorious smattering of high-grade explosives. What's maybe less apparent is why they hate each other. Atton's part is straightforward; his demeanor towards Kreia starts out the same abrasive, pseudo-hostile that's his default. It sours further when she talks down to him and acts like a holier-than-thou Jedi, but he'll still interact with her willingly. And it bottoms out into murderous, trapped loathing at the Telos academy, where Kreia becomes his slavemistress and he avoids her whenever possible, desperately hungry to lash out but terrified of her retribution.

Why does Kreia hate Atton so much, though? It starts out because he's an irreverent bastard, but I think it comes down to two main reasons. Number one is that he reminds her of Sion, her worst student. They're a pair of stubborn, sadistic, infatuated blockheads who took all the wrong lessons from Malachor and run about with their oversimplified conclusions causing destruction for no purpose but its own sake. Most importantly, what Atton shirks and what Kreia embraces is accountability. Kreia believes in ownership of one's choices to the point that she can't accept redemption – wanting to change, admitting you were wrong - as an honest decision. Atton? Atton doesn't believe in redemption either, but that's because he fuckin' bails rather than own up to anything. And when Kreia uncovers that, how he cowers from his own nature, her scorn is boundless.

Reason two is that Kreia would have rather traveled with the Exile alone, shaping them in isolation of other influences. Atton is the first spanner in this plan. Later on it becomes clear that the Force has designs for the Exile, and that their entourage is simply something she must contend with, but Atton still gets the short end of the stick here because he's one of the companions who wants to get close to the Exile, especially if they're a lady. And the possibility of Atton, who is a lesson in doing everything wrong, influencing the Exile? Not on her watch.

Kreia and Bao-Dur: Bao-Dur is one of the crewmates Kreia hates most, though not through any fault of his own. He defies her probing (she really doesn't like it if she learns he actually can be read, just not by her), and she also dislikes the old and powerful connection he has with the Exile, because anyone who can mold the Exile, or who they'll turn to for support, fundamentally undermines her mentorship. Bao-Dur is neutral to Kreia at first but comes to distrust her the more he overhears. Her guidance to the Exile sets off a lot of red flags, but he doesn't really feel prompted to act on it unless the Exile starts listening to her – whereupon he'll incorrectly blame his General's fall on Kreia and attempt to act in their protection.

Kreia and Mira: Kreia doesn't particularly see Mira as a threat compared to many of the others. A foolish little girl clinging to a code that will get her killed, yes. But she's not an obstacle to her plans for the Exile, being as standoffish as she is, and so Kreia leaves her to her own devices, biding her time for the day she'll be tested. Mira is very wary of Kreia without fully understanding why – looks harmless, but Mira's good at feeling people and Kreia gives her all kinds of bad vibes – so she keeps a wide berth. Any conversations they've had have been very short and very acerbic on both sides.

Kreia and Brianna: This gets really complicated if you ascribe to the 'Kreia is Arren Kae' theory, which I do. It would certainly explain why Kreia's hackles go up when Brianna joins the crew, when the connection to Atris and later her antipathy for Visas is something she makes liberal use of, and also why she's so disapproving of training Brianna to be a Jedi when she expresses very little opinion on the subject for anyone else. There might be a smidgen of an old desire to keep her out of harm's way (and even moreso, to remain free of the Force and its machinations), but Kreia refuses to allow whatever feelings remain influence her decisions – and she throws Brianna right into harm's way when she uses her at the rebuilt Enclave and drops her off at a freshly-unhinged Atris's feet. That right there kills any nascent thoughts I might have had of Kreia approaching Brianna for any constructive reason during their earlier travels. Before everything goes down, I don't see them crossing paths much – Kreia has an especial desire to keep her distance and Brianna is not one to socialize.

Kreia and Mical: There is not a lot of interaction that can happen when you've been mindwhammied into forgetting the other person exists. I don't think Mical knew Kreia was on the ship at all until the game's climax, even when he was looking right at her. Kreia has an interesting opinion on Mical, though. She definitely disdains his idealism and softheartedness, but I think she does respect him in a backhanded way – he's the only one who managed to figure out what was happening, and actually forced her hand in order to keep the game afoot. I certainly read a sort of admiration in “you were a wasted pawn of the Republic,” and that's more than anyone else on the crew gets out of Kreia.

Kreia and Visas: So Kreia resents Visas, a lot. She did not want the Exile to have to face Nihilus, and Visas's arrival locked that very dangerous confrontation in stone. She adapts her plans quite successfully, because she's nothing if not resourceful, but Kreia's attempts to prey on Brianna's distrust and inflame her jealousy have nothing to do with any threat Visas presents. I think it also comes back to her scorn for both weakness and redemption; if Visas was weak enough to have her will crushed, she doesn't deserve to be lifted up, and the Exile only wastes their limited energy on a pity project. On her end, Visas is a remarkably mellow individual, but Kreia is the one person on the ship she does not trust. The others are clear presences through the Force, even drawn towards the Exile's alignment as they are. When she looks at Kreia, her sight is... blurred. Difficult to see. And her Master had spoken of his own Master, a Darth Traya...

Kreia and Canderous: I doubt Kreia sees Canderous as anything more than one of Revan's creatures, broken upon their charisma and following their orders in vain. She's generally pretty uninterested in any of the crewmates beyond their potential uses, but her treatment of Canderous is especially dismissive in that she doesn't even care if he sees her for what she is. I find her general scorn of the Mandalorians interesting, given that they do espouse a lot of the philosophy she shares in-game – they have a sink-or-swim ideology that eschews aid and forces each member to survive on their own merits, always seeking adversity to become strong lest they dull their edge, without falling into the Sith trap of self-destruction through infighting. I guess they're not subtle enough for her tastes. Canderous hates her for the same reason Atton does – she didn't even try to hide the fact that she was manipulating him, just nailed him to the wall on day one. Even if she hadn't been so blatant, I doubt Canderous has much trust for Jedi-types lying around after the plot twist of the first game. Revanchists, he's totally game to hang out and swap war stories, but Kreia's more of the 'preachy old crone in robes' breed of Jedi and he remembers what happened the last time he trusted those.

Kreia and T3-M4: Oh boy, but Kreia does not like the metal cinnamon roll. She's got issues with her students having attachments to people that aren't her, and she already dislikes droids for their immunity to mental alteration and probing. Which is actually intensely hypocritical of her, since she otherwise praises things that are dead to the Force and can defy its will – but I suppose it's less laudable when the Force in question is her own. Same as how Kreia praises focusing on practical skills rather than the Force, yet apart from her persuasion has few of her own, which is why these droids can defy her so. Add in that it's T3's navicomputer lock that's preventing Kreia from discovering where Revan has gone, and it's no surprise she blasts him in the cut content. For T3's part, he's never liked the old woman – she's very rude, yes, but more important is the question of how exactly Kreia got on the ship in the first place. How and when, I don't know, but she definitely hijacked T3's ship at some point and interrupted his Very Important Mission. Even if their goals ended up being aligned, T3 has issues with people who think they don't have to ask for his permission.

Kreia and HK-47: For this one, we're back to Kreia's refusal to view droids as people. In her eyes, HK-47 is yet another one of the tools Revan lavished their time on in a meaningless sidetrack from their true potential. Unlike T3, though, HK doesn't present an ongoing obstacle, just a blunt instrument and an irritating reminder of her former student's proclivities. HK, for his part, frequently occupies his processors with potential scenarios where he could terminate the old-model meatbag without compromising his Master's integrity. The unusually strong Force bond presents an altogether new challenge for his assassination protocols and he's eager to overcome fresh obstacles – for purely hypothetical purposes, of course.

Atton

Atton and Bao-Dur: They tolerate each other, which is as good as things get with Atton. It's a sort of wary, untapped understanding that they've both done some shit and don't want to talk about it, and they've kind of got a personal issue with the other's war crimes (and that sure is a KotOR II sentence) but don't think it's worth it to drag it out. It could warm up into something friendlier if they ever hashed out an understanding – they have some crucial things in common and could really get each other in a way most of the crew couldn't – but it would take something big to get that talk to happen. Apart from the history, Bao-Dur thinks Atton is ridiculous and Atton thinks Bao-Dur is a stick in the mud and a gearhead, but they do trust each other to have the General's back. And that's the most important thing to both of them, so they get along all right.

Atton and Mira: They snipe at each other constantly, and get into more verbal brawls than anyone else, since they're both pretty chatty and not afraid to insert themselves into other people's business. But their relationship isn't as hostile as it looks from the outside, even if it has involved stolen equipment and at least one minor sonic charge being planted on the pilot's seat. They annoy the hell out of each other, but Atton is about as fond of Mira as he is of anyone who isn't the Exile. She's relatable without the traits that make him despise himself, and when they're on the job, the two of them often end up backing the same strategy, or spouting very unintentionally synchronized “oh, kriff no”s to someone else's, despite having no actual desire to agree with each other.* And Mira thinks Atton's an idiot, but he's a familiar kind of idiot, and he's good for a laugh (read: easy to wind up and create some on-demand performance art.)

(*For posterity's sake, group strategizing usually slices out like this: Atton, Mira, and Visas on Team Sneaky Fuckers; Brianna, Canderous, and HK-47 on Team Why Don't We Just Light The Place Up; and Mical and very occasionally Bao-Dur on Team I Am Very Concerned You Would Suggest That. Kreia would be a Sneaky Fucker but refuses to provide positive reinforcement to any of these cretins. Poor T3's contributions go nearly unnoticed due to half the crew not understanding Binary. G0-T0 vacillates between Sneaky Fuckery and systemic elimination of all obstacles depending on the situation, and for Hanharr, do you even have to ask?)

Atton and Brianna: They openly hate each other. Brianna thinks Atton is undisciplined and uncouth, Atton thinks the Handmaiden's a self-righteous bitch. The reason they really loathe each other instead of the usual 'just thinks that person is really annoying' is because they don't trust each other to have the Exile's best interests at heart – Atton thinks she's a spy and Brianna thinks he's a slimy, lying opportunist, and if she learns who he really is, that's going to get five times worse. Both of them have fantasized about kicking the other's ass at length, but Brianna has too much discipline to start a fight and Atton's worried that he might not come out on top. Killing her would be easy, but an honorable duel with a crazy Echani ice queen who spends every waking hour boxing air in her skivvies? No thanks.

Atton and Mical: Atton despises Mical on principle. Everything Mical does infuriates him, no matter how innocuous. Mical needs help in a firefight? Useless fop, don't know why we let him tag along. Mical heals Atton afterwards? Pushy asshole thinks he's better than me. Mical asks Atton to pass him the salt at breakfast? Get it yourself, you needy bastard. Mical looks in the Exile's direction? Die in a fire, Blondie. He drags him endlessly, coming up with a stream of excuses to hate him when the reality of it is that Atton's pissed that Mical is a better person than him in every single way, and has decided to react to that by resenting his existence rather than, y'know, trying to improve himself at all.

On the other side, Mical dislikes Atton - it would be very strange if he didn't - but he's patient and diplomatic, rarely rising to the bait and occasionally extending olive branches (which only serve to make Atton angrier and more unreasonable.) He wants Atton to work out his issues, because that in turn would be best for the Exile who cares for all of them, and also because he hopes that it might get him to improve his behavior. Of course, it'd be much simpler to drop Atton off on the next planet, but unfortunately he's already ruled out the possibility.

Atton and Visas: They don't interact much. Visas doesn't have any particular feelings about Atton; she trusts him because his feelings towards the Exile are clear and that's the only metric that matters to her. Atton doesn't care that she was Sith, it becomes obvious by like three days in that she's not a threat and the Handmaiden's full of it – it's her servility that creeps him out. It's that Jedi tendency to act like drones instead of people. He doesn't know what to do with that (he does, knows a lot about how to crack open their shells, but not in any way he wants to remember), so he keeps his distance. The sad thing about this is that they do have some big things in common; they're ex-Sith who lost all hope in the galaxy only to have it restored by the Exile, who they'd gladly die for because they don't value their own lives and because the Exile is so much greater than they could ever be. But I can't realistically see Atton taking his walls down for that conversation to happen. Visas can talk about her feelings but keeps to herself; Atton reacts to emotional honesty like a wet cat.

Atton and Canderous: Pretty hostile. Atton's not as overt about it as Bao-Dur (since his hate congealed in a different direction), but he has any veteran's grudge against the Mandalorians and doesn't love the idea of them reorganizing. Canderous has a thick hide when it comes to trading jabs, but he's less tolerant of anyone shit-talking his people and their honor, and you can bet Atton has made plenty of snipes from the relative safety of the Exile's favor. Atton eventually ends up crawling to the Exile to bail him out after Canderous calls him out on his bullshit and challenges him to throw hands, because he could kick Atton's ass in a brawl and Atton fully knows this but will not admit it.

Atton and T3-M4: T3-M4 has done nothing wrong in his life, ever, and Atton is proof that there is no fairness in the galaxy. T3 retaliates by inconveniencing Atton in endlessly small ways – colliding with him while he's carrying food, tweaking his laundry cycle to singe his clothes, constantly changing the astrogation system's access codes. And, of course, baiting him into pazaak only to crush him with his superior logic matrices. Atton brought all of this on himself and T3 would strongly consider stopping if Atton would only apologize and admit he has been very rude and mean. He doesn't.

Atton and HK-47: A flaming mess. Atton distrusts T3-M4, who is a cinnamon roll with a shock arm; now take his irrational hatred of droids, add in psychotic programming and an expressed desire to murder everyone on board, and you can be sure he's sleeping with his door locked. This is made worse because while HK-47 also hates Atton, he's very interested in his past as a fellow assassin and Jedi-hunter – irritated that Atton seems to have fallen prey to that insidious meatbag disease known as 'regret', but he has no desire to respect those boundaries and is highly curious about comparing their tactics and K-D ratios. Mostly because HK wants to express his clear superiority over his meatbag imitators, but also because there may be an opportunity to refine his craft. (If we're dealing with a DS Atton, they still hate each other, but it's because Atton is as disgusted by the idea of a droid doing his job as HK is of him. But you can expect a lot more open debate of torture tactics at the breakfast table.)

Bao-Dur

Bao-Dur and Mira: They don't have an awful lot in common, but they interact well enough. It's part because Bao-Dur is the king of the garage and Mira spends plenty of time in there, and part because Mira likes to poke people to see how they'll react (and at first, she really wants to know if the beefcake Zabrak does talk or if he just tinkers in the droid bay all day looking like a snack.) Bao-Dur's a wallflower but he can sass back with the best of them when prodded, and he's gotten involved with Mira's maintenance more than once - enough for Mira to grudgingly respect that damn, she runs a tight ship with her equipment but this guy knows what he's talking about.

Bao-Dur and Brianna: Unfortunately I can't really see these two coming together outside the field. They both keep to themselves in their spare time, and neither of them are the type to initiate conversations, so most of their talks have purely been strategy or reacting to situations as they happen. They're both pretty practical and goal-oriented people, so they don't clash. The one place these two intersect is Telos – Brianna is actually very impressed with Bao-Dur's work and considers him singularly skilled. If she expressed that, things might warm up a bit, though Bao-Dur definitely has some not-so-charitable thoughts about why a Jedi Master was sitting around stealing power from Telos's already strained grid instead of helping with the restoration efforts in any way.

Bao-Dur and Mical: They get on quite well. Bao-Dur's more of an introvert while Mical likes to strike up conversations, but they're the two most Republic-positive people on the Hawk and they're both appreciative of the other's work, which is a good foundation. Mical definitely has questions about Bao-Dur's extensive experience with Telos on his studies of worlds sickened by the Wars, which is a topic Bao-Dur has a direct interest in – he'd hoped to branch out before the Telos Project started going sour. They've had plenty of problem-solving brainstorming sessions, even if their musings in their respective fields tend to go way over the other's head. I was also gonna bring up that they both think the world of the Exile and find endless inspiration in their actions, but that's kind of true for everyone in KotOR II: The Simp Lords. Still, it's those two and Visas who are the least afraid about expressing it.

Bao-Dur and Visas: They go for a long time without crossing paths, but they've got plenty in common – they're fundamentally gentle people who struggle with feelings of despair and anger borne of PTSD, and they both appreciate solitude to center themselves without actually having a real desire to self-isolate. I could see them taking up a companionable silence one day on the Hawk while the others are off adventuring, and in time coming to meditate or simply exist together. They've both got a planet's worth of trauma on their shoulders and they could forge a strong connection if one of them ever reached out.

Bao-Dur and Canderous: Bad, bad, bad. Bao-Dur's deal is self-explanatory – he hates the Mandalorians with an all-consuming fervor, to the point where he's uncomfortable with himself, and Mandalore's presence on the ship just drags it all out into the open. And Canderous doesn't understand this, or the depths of Bao-Dur's PTSD; he sees a skilled warrior who was instrumental in his people's defeat, which he's been taught not to personally resent. So, y'know, there's nothing stopping him from dropping by and striking up a chat between two old warriors. And he figures out real quick that Bao-Dur's the type that holds a grudge, but I don't think he can really grasp just how deep it goes. In Canderous's world, if you've got a problem, you brawl it out. Bao-Dur could only begin to find common ground with a Mandalorian if he was shown some remorse, which just isn't going to happen. Now make it not just any Mandalorian but their leader, this symbol for everything he despises, who loudly intends to reunite his scattered thugs and murderers for the next great war? Yeah. It's bad.

Bao-Dur and T3-M4: They have a rocky start, since T3 really doesn't like that suggestion of a memory wipe. But Bao-Dur's not going to press if this mouthy Astromech is that opposed to it, and if I had to peg one guy on the KotOR II Hawk who sees droids as fully-fledged people, it's gonna be him every time. The Remote talks up Bao-Dur enough for T3 to trust him with some maintenance, and it leads to a gorgeous heat sink on his processors and the smoothest treads of his life. It doesn't take long for Bao-Dur to become T3's favorite, second to the Exile. T3 repeatedly rants to Bao-Dur about all the incredibly annoying and illogical things the organics on this ship get up to. Bao-Dur chuckles, agrees with everything, and never breathes a word of it to anyone else.

Bao-Dur and HK-47: HK-47 is a one-of-a-kind piece of machinery, but Bao-Dur could really do without the cutting remarks. If he has to hear 'Insincere Placation' one more time, he's kicking him out of the garage. And if it's not the disparaging comments about his skills as a mechanic, it's the frankly disturbing homicidal musings. Bao-Dur wonders if programming a droid to be this single-mindedly murderous constitutes abuse. HK, for his part, does come to respect Bao-Dur's skills, and has very good reason to fear self-proclaimed mechanics after a low-repair amnesiac Revan did unspeakable things with a hydrospanner. But his friendly musings about the laudable efficiency of the slaughter at Malachor V and the truly impressive galactic implications of all that death did not produce the enlightening discussion he'd hoped for.

Mira

Mira and Brianna: Mira first saw the Handmaiden from afar when she was stalking the Exile on Nar Shaddaa. They meet properly when Mira's poking around the ship, and okay, yeah, Mira sees why this girl fought like a dancer with that electrostaff – she spends all her time training. Like, does she even know what fun is? An intervention is necessary. In her efforts to get the Handmaiden out of her shell, Mira drags her out of the cargo hold for anything she can think of – the latest gossip on the Ebon Hawk, girl talk, drinks, blaster practice, an improvised dartboard with a picture of Kreia taped over it. Brianna really doesn't know what to do with this attention at first, and she's very put off. But Mira refuses to let her be awkward, and... even if all these customs are foreign to her, she finds she does enjoy being sought out? By the end of the game, those two are tight-knit. Mira's eventually the one who teaches Brianna how sarcasm works, something which Brianna wields with terrifying precision.

Mira and Mical: Mira's decent enough to the guy, but with a distinctly condescending flair. The Disciple is like a pet, maybe – cute, harmless, and doesn't do anything useful as far as she can tell. Well, that's not strictly true, because he's good for getting Atton to act like a ronto in heat, but she doubts the Exile keeps him on for that. They've squabbled before on missions when Mical had an issue with laying out a minefield on civilian turf (they were just flashbangs and stunners, dammit, what does he take her for?) or thought talking to a bunch of crime kingpins would work. Still, he's nice to look at if you can tune him out.

Mira and Visas: Mira tries to draw this one out of her shell, too, but with much less success. It's part because Brianna really hates Visas and Mira doesn't get their Jedi crap enough to work out whatever this spat is, so Girls' Night dies before it ever has a chance to become tradition. The other half is because Visas barely reacts to anything Mira does – she'll never refuse her company, but she seems indifferent to everything Mira tries to engage her with. It makes Mira sad, and also really uncomfortable, and she eventually gives up for fear that she's just dragging around someone who doesn't know how to say no to her. (This wasn't strictly the case. Visas is terrible at enforcing boundaries, but she generally didn't mind – just didn't really understand what was expected of her. Aimless chatter is a luxury she had to relearn. On the whole, just being on this ship that teemed with life and determination instead of draining them was often enough for her, and she spent many hours feeling and observing the others from afar.) But Mira doesn't stop watching Visas, and she's relieved when other members of the crew, and of course their fearless leader, connect with her in their own ways.

Mira and Canderous: Man, this one gets complex. Mira loves to pretend that she's over her past, and she's super not. The Mandalorians are the only family she remembered. It was screwed up on a lot of levels and she understands that better now than she did then, but... she knew who she was when she was one of them. Dreamed of being one for real someday, before Malachor ended everything. So finding the hidden enclave on Dxun stirred up a lot of mixed feelings. She keeps her distance from Canderous, but she's drawn to him anyway. It's Mandalore, a legend brought to life, of course she's curious – that's normal, right? And maybe one day he offhandedly comments that she handled something like a Mandalorian, and it means the world to her and she's not prepared for it, at all, and she tries to play it cool but ends up spilling that she halfway was one. And they swap stories for a long time after that. She doesn't take him up on his offer of returning to Dxun with him, but she feels a sense of completion, maybe closure, that it was made. Canderous obfuscates it, because no one will accuse him of going soft, but he's fond of that girl. She's got real fight in her.

Mira and T3-M4: For a while, they don't really interact, but Mira's eagle eye eventually catches that many of the inconvenient accidents on board the Hawk coincide with a little Astromech whirring by moments before disaster. Which is concerning, but also really funny, given that the usual butt of the joke is either Atton or HK-47. So she does what she does best and gets involved – either she gets a piece of the action or she's busting his operation. T3 promptly pops out eight pieces of weaponry she didn't realize a utility droid could have mounts for, wheels her over to a holoscreen, leverages her right back with the secret stash she keeps under the docking ramp panel, and recruits her wholesale. Everyone those two dislike proceeds to have a very frustrating week. She doesn't understand Binary, so they can only ever talk when T3 plugs himself in and types, but damn, Mira thought she had a mouth but that droid is sassy. Scrappy little fucker runs the ship from the shadows - she's staying on his good side.

Mira and HK-47: Mira tries very hard to pretend that HK doesn't unnerve the hell out of her. She's seen those things in action and she's not entirely convinced this one isn't a plant that's going to drill them in the back once some unknown trigger is tripped. HK-47 is deeply offended by the accusation – less that he would murder them all if he could, and more that Mira can't recognize how his abundance of personality and far more intimidating looks set him apart from his mass-produced copycats.

Brianna

Brianna and Mical: In-game, they can't ever interact, but I like to imagine that all six of the Lost Jedi come along with the Exile. These two have an awkward start – she's a soldier trained not to question while he's a historian who does nothing but. Mical has some questions about Atris that'll get Brianna's hackles up, and she'll want nothing to do with him for a while after that. But as she travels with the Exile, she'll come to realize that he's right; Atris's actions run counter to her spoken principles, and the Exile is a truer expression of the Jedi teachings despite having been cast from the Order. They'll coalesce most post-game, when Brianna sets aside her single-minded dedication to combat to become an archivist. Mical has plenty of interest in helping her with Atris's salvaged collection and disseminating the information within.

Brianna and Visas: Visas is demure and respectful – Brianna bites her head off every time she speaks up. It's a mess. Brianna's been raised with an incredibly black-and-white, fear-based set of views on the Jedi. There's no redemption for Sith in Atris's academy, only punishment and execution. The Exile skated by Atris's conditioning with their Force magnetism, and to a lesser extent, their similarities to Yusanis – Visas is not so lucky. Brianna's jealousy isn't strictly romantic in nature, though. The way I see it, it has more to do with her deep-seated feelings of abandonment and never being good enough no matter how hard she works. She thought she and the Exile were forging something special, that the Exile saw something in her that no one else had (and maybe that was even true, maybe she does have potential), and then they went off to gallivant with a Sith. She feels cheapened, replaced – maybe even scorned, if the Exile sees her the same way, as something broken and wrong to be fixed. And she can justify it to herself with what Atris taught her instead of actually confronting her own feelings. So it becomes a mantra: Visas is a Sith, she cannot be trusted, and all the time the Exile spends with her is time for her to sink her hooks into their mind.

I would like to think, on a LS run (as a mirror to what happens on a DS one), when Kreia tricks Brianna into despair and she subsequently discovers Atris's corruption, that Brianna has an epiphany – that she was watching for enemies in the wrong places, and that Atris's teachings had blinded her to what was evident in Visas's stance, if only she'd been able to accept what she saw. And by the time they band together on Malachor, they've buried the hatchet. Visas accepts this heartfelt apology readily – she never held a grudge even when Brianna was snarling at her daily. Post-game they become quite close. They understand plenty about what it means to dedicate yourself to someone out of desperation and out of inspiration, and they more than anyone else on the crew share the Exile lifting them up and setting them free. And they share their strengths – Brianna passes on her knowledge of combat now that she's ready to set it aside, and at her behest, Visas spends the time to teach her to see through the Force so that she'll never be blinded to others' hearts again.

Brianna and Canderous: Brianna's wary of Mandalore and disagrees stridently with him on philosophy – they agree on fealty and discipline, but discussing the purpose of combat has led to some raised voices and a few worried (or popcorn-crunching) eavesdroppers. But they do respect each other as fellow warriors. They've sparred a few times, even if Canderous refused to remove his raiment in a minor bit of tradition-crossroads. Canderous even lost a round or two, which he is damn impressed by but privately worries about for weeks later. He's getting old.

Brianna and T3-M4: Brianna largely ignores T3-M4. This is probably a good thing, since T3 holds a grudge from when she stole the Ebon Hawk and delivered him to Atris, where he had a very unpleasant time of things. He was not happy to see her board the ship yet again, and kept a close optic on her for a while. Eventually he decided she was unlikely to repeat offend, and she at least doesn't make a mess of the ship like some organics, but the beeps and boops he uses to address her are not especially polite ones.

Brianna and HK-47: Brianna cannot fathom why the Exile reactivated the assassin droid, and once it starts talking, she really doesn't understand why they keep it around. This is mostly because it's clearly a psychotic tool of war, the kind of single-mindedly bloodthirsty creation Atris always accused the Exile of being, and its company is... unbefitting for the hero she's come to know. But also, and she stubbornly refuses to admit this to herself, she's frustrated that the Exile thinks they need more firepower on the battlefield. Isn't she good enough for them?

Mical

Mical and Visas: They get along very well. They start interacting early on, when Visas first joins the crew and has all kinds of old untreated injuries that need tending. After the medbay visits taper off, the meditation visits start. Mical's curious about Sith philosophy and techniques and Visas is pretty much the most tailor-fitted discussion partner the galaxy could have possibly given him on those topics. Visas is dubious of Mical's own views, particularly that he clings to them when he's seen so many things that undermine them and readily admits this, but over her travels with the Exile comes to appreciate his steadfast optimism more. They're both very gentle people and Mical could do wonders in shoring up Visas's lost faith – a favor Visas pays back in full when Kreia betrays the team and leaves Mical to the horrifying realization that the Force is decaying around the Exile. She feels his distress and seeks him out, invites him to meditate together as he so often approached her, and repeats the words he always insisted upon – no matter how fraught it seems, there is always hope.

Mical and Canderous: When Mandalore joins the team, Mical's immediate concern is the Exile's mental health. Bao-Dur has clearly been doing poorly since Dxun and it's hardly a secret the Exile shares much of the same trauma. He keeps to the background and watches carefully, his own few interactions with the man being brusque and dismissive. Carth is... concerned, to say the least, when Mical reports of a new Mandalore; it gets interesting when Mical's next transmission contains some footage. Much like the player, it doesn't take Carth long to pick up on the fact that Mandalore's voice is just Canderous's through some filters. This is how poor Mical ends up as the go-between between two old frenemies, passing notes back and forth like he's stuck at the middle desk. That said, he's greatly relieved that their Mandalorian contact is on the up and up; he would not question the Exile's decisions, but did worry about what might come of them until it became clear this was all the work of the Force.

Mical and T3-M4: They first met when Mical requested to see the records of the Exile's trial. T3-M4 was wary of the request, but organics who are actually courteous to utility droids are a rarity, and Mical eventually won him over without having to fetch the Exile for proof. Once T3 finds out that Mical has connections with Carth Onasi, they're fast friends and occasional coworkers, though there's a bit of friction involved because you know Carth would have told him to fish for any information on Revan's whereabouts, and T3 can't talk, as much as he'd like to reunite his old (and new!) friends.

Mical and HK-47: Of all the unfortunate meatbags HK-47 must share the ship with, it is the Republic one who clearly has the least merit. He has tried to convince his Master why a bit of target practice is necessary to keep his assassination protocols from degrading in the monotony of hyperspace travel, but for some reason truly unparseable to his processors, he has repeatedly been denied on this front. On Mical's part, HK-47 is a firm reminder of Darth Revan's character whenever his musings about their war strategy start becoming too favorable.

Visas

Visas and Canderous: It's so wild to me that I would have never known anything was here at all, if those legends over at TSLRCM hadn't brought back all of those Visas-Canderous interactions on the Ravager. Like, Visas forcing him to keep on fighting after a gravely wounded Canderous tells them to leave him behind, that he's not useful anymore... Hello?? My girl came full circle???

I don't know how much these two coincided before the end of the game, because they are exceptionally different people. Visas tends to hang in the background, and I doubt Canderous spared the Miraluka in the aft dorm that much thought beyond “damn, they make Sith different than they used to.” But there are no words to express how Visas felt when destiny called them back to Telos and not a single one of the crew balked in the face of her Master – and nowhere did that sentiment land harder than Canderous, who mustered an army to stop a second Katarr and walked with her to face her nightmare in person. (It wasn't for a lack of will on the others' part, and I suspect many of them were strident about wanting to join. In a lot of cases, the two-party restriction comes down to game mechanics; here, it's that Nihilus would have straight-up eaten anyone else. Visas was the only Force-Sensitive he wouldn't, the Exile was the only one he couldn't.) She's well aware it wasn't a personal favor, but the reasons pale in the reality of it; she had believed nothing could stand before her Master, and together, Canderous and the Exile proved her wrong. And Canderous is forced to reassess Visas afterwards, once he's done licking his wounds and kicking himself for a lapse in resolve so bad a Sith had to haul him up and tell him to get moving. Which is where he got it wrong; a Sith she is not, but that girl's got beskar in her, especially if she survived that long as that thing's apprentice.

Visas and T3-M4: At first, T3-M4 is quite cross about being overloaded via the Force and the attempt on his new Master's life. But the immediate request of termination is... concerning, and observing the following chain of events leads T3 to suspect that she'd been given orders that went against her core motivators, something T3 is distressingly familiar with. He observes Visas for a bit longer – he developed a number of protocols regarding Sith in his formative months - but soon deems them irrelevant once he's mapped her behavioral patterns and found them quite agreeable, if perhaps more cloistered than strictly recommended.

His initial diagnostic of conflicting orders seems correct, and T3 enacts a policy of friendliness in simpatico. Whenever ship maintenance takes him towards the aft dormitory, he brings her little things like Atton's share of dessert or interesting lightsaber parts from Bao-Dur's workshop. Visas is at first convinced that the Exile has simply programmed the droid to attend to her in their doomed quest to save her, but at some point she comments on it and discovers they genuinely have no idea what she's talking about. She does not know what to do with this information, but is immensely moved by the little droid. As a being without presence in the Force, Visas sometimes has difficulty perceiving his movements; when she admitted this, T3 developed a policy of emitting a low-volume sound pattern in her presence.

Visas and HK-47: HK was very excited when a Sith joined the crew - still irritated that his Master didn't simply dispatch the assassin like any being in possession of functioning logic circuits, but hoping that perhaps this was his chance to witness and partake in some real carnage. He ends up despairing when Visas ends up just as soft as the rest of them. She even eventually retracts her statement that all life exists for the purpose of being systemically extinguished! The Exile is a truly distressing influence.

Canderous

Canderous and T3-M4: Canderous affectionately calls T3-M4 a hunk of junk. T3-M4 affectionately calls him an obsolete model propped up with bulky life support mods. The little trash can's grown a spine since he last saw him – that, and Revan clearly taught him some creative curses while they were out on the edge of space. Canderous will never admit this and will lie through his teeth if accused, but he misses the old crew dearly – now more than ever that he's back on the Ebon Hawk. Having the droids around is an old, comfortable bit of nostalgia.

Canderous and HK-47: Canderous might be the only non-Revan meatbag HK-47 actually likes. It's mutual – HK's a fine soldier and an unreal shot with a scoped rifle, even if he's looking a little worse for wear these days. HK frequently seeks out Canderous to complain about the inconsistent and highly inefficient moral codes so many of these meatbags seem to possess. “Jedi,” Canderous agrees. He'd think a bunch of war veterans, particularly the type with a history of blowing up planets, would spend a little less time plucking loth cats out of trees and take a little more initiative with the armies of people trying to kill them, but he figures you can't take the Jedi out of the Revanchist. At least they're not boring.

T3-M4

T3-M4 and HK-47: Revan's two old droids are not friends. It's like a cat and a dog (or maybe a kitten and a grizzled bobcat) fighting over their Master's affection, except their Master left for milk a while ago and the only thing left to squabble about is who was more useful. Mutual accusations of obsoletion abound. T3 is very smug that HK spent a chunk of Revan's travels deactivated while he was present all along; HK, who is incredibly pissy that he was not involved in the grand plan and the game of cover-your-tracks that followed, never fails to point out that somehow, T3 failed so immensely that Revan saw fit to dismiss them both and carry on without backup, and that he at least does not have such a blatant error in judgment on his record. Add in that T3's tenure of the ship has involved hijackings and total crew pacification by a Sith warship, an Echani saboteur, and a band of slavers, and it's wholly understandable that this new Master decided they needed a more reliable droid.

It frequently comes down to HK-47 threatening the jumped-up Astromech with termination while T3-M4 smugly dangles the metaphorical car keys in his face.

G0-T0

I'm putting the crimeball in his own category because G0-T0 has remarkably one-note relationships with everyone and there isn't enough to say. It's really simple; they don't want him around and he doesn't want to deal with them. The only one worth any note is Mira, who he has identified as a reliable agent and a potential asset when it comes to delegating side jobs. She's proven capable of bringing in targets alive, which is a directive he's had some trouble with in the past. Mira's wary of having a major Exchange boss a few doors down from where she lays her head, but less on principle and more that she'll get caught in some conflicting-employers spat. And she wouldn't say no to some credits as long as the job didn't go against her sensibilities.

There's another exception with HK-47, because some of the restored content implies he and G0-T0 had a history – but personally I do not know what to make of this, because their timelines do not line up and it doesn't come up later, leaving me to think it was a dropped plotline like Kreia zapping T3 or Kaevee and the holocrons. I'd like to do something with this, but there isn't enough for me to go on. About as much as I can say is that HK-47 is quite cross at this comically rotund intruder for bobbing onto his base of operations and attempting to dictate orders when any being in possession of optics can tell his Master is clearly the one in charge, and for not having the decency to invade his ship without a fail-deadly detonator baked into his circuitry. But really, anyone who had employed so many of his sub-standard clones and established the galactic reputation of HK units as bounty hunters was going to fall pretty hard on HK-47's shitlist.

Bao-Dur has strongly considered 'accidentally' damaging some vital components when G0-T0 seeks him out for maintenance. The Remote is a very enthusiastic ball-shaped devil on his shoulder.

Unfortunately, I can't comment on Hanharr since I've never played with him, even on the one time I forced myself into a Dark Side run. But the vibe I get is pretty similar to the above; nearly all of the crew would stay well away, with HK being the only one actually enthused at the prospect of having him around. But I don't know Hanharr well enough to tell if that could even be mutual or if he's just furious with everything.

[citadelofthestars]

ask game! :) 42, 44, 48, 55 ?

Thank you sm anon! ^_^

42. What's an unjustifiably expensive appliance that you really want?

My mind immediately goes to kitchen appliance, which would be a high end espresso maker (we're talking 2k+), but just general appliance, a lot of the lamps I really like tend to be super expensive.

44. Honest feelings on Settlers of Catan?

I've only played it once, but I liked it! Those types of games that have an upfront major time requirement are difficult for me to even want to start tho, since my time is not my own.

48. If you could build your home from scratch, what outrageous feature would you want to build into it?

Ohhh DEFINITELY a Japanese style bath!!!!!! I had admired it from afar for years and then in Japan last year simply fell in love with it. A whole onsen style with the open air area would be incredible oh my goodness.

55. Favorite high-effort meal that you make?

Oh hmm I tend to stay away from high effort meals. Steamed bao (not Extremely high effort tho and I just kind of scrunch the tops together, I don't do the fancy folding) and lasagna, probably. This is the recipe I use for bao and it's great!

Please ask me more questions I really like this one! <3

[feilien]

{♚ x @veitsia x}

 He had tried. He truly had. But in the end, it hadn’t been good enough, had it?

 After making his way back home, Long Zhi approached his grandfather. It had taken a lot of courage, and he’d practised his speech for days while travelling back to make sure he knew exactly what to say when confronting Xiao Dan. He’d also tried to imagine all the different, possible scenarios that could follow. The good, the bad, and everything in between.

 The one scenario he hadn’t pictured was his grandfather laughing in his face. Stop our business with the most powerful family in all of Shu Han? Are you stupid, boy? The pain and humiliation Long Zhi had felt was impossible to put into words. He’d expected many things, but not complete and utter dismissal. He tried to argue for a little while longer, tried to get his point across that what they were doing was despicable and that they were sentencing innocent people to death. People like him, no less. But he was simply told that he was still too inexperienced, too unreliable to be a leader, too soft. The discussion had ended there, and he was escorted out like a dog being dragged along by its leash.

 That night, Long Zhi lay in bed, staring at the ceiling with his heart aching like it had never ached before. If this was the legacy he was raised and trained to inherit, did he truly want it? He’d always known they weren’t exactly good people, but this… This was an empire built on blood, and he wanted no part of it. So he got back up, grabbed a bag and packed the few important personal belongings he’d managed to hide. Then he grabbed his dog, Bao, and made his way to his grandfather’s office in the dead of night. His grandfather was asleep, but he always made sure to have his office guarded by two men he trusted. Unfortunately for them, they were no match for his well-aimed knives, and shortly after dropped to the floor before he dragged them into the office and quietly closed the door.

 His anger burned bright and hot now, and he ransacked his grandfather’s office with no hesitation. Whatever could be of use was packed into his bag, the rest was thrown into a pile in the middle of the room. Once done, Long Zhi pulled out a set of matches and lit it all on fire, before disappearing into the dead of night.

 There was no guarantee that the woman he’d met just a few days prior would still be lingering at the harbour, but Long Zhi knew he had to take his chances. Before the sun had even finished rising, he was being hunted by the men he’d once considered family. And it didn’t seem as though it mattered if they brought him back dead or alive. But he managed to stay one step ahead — until he was nearly by the docks.

 Since he had Bao with him, he couldn’t just traverse the rooftops like he usually would, so he’d chosen to stick to dark and deserted alleyways instead. A mistake, as it turned out. They ambushed him, six to one, three at each exit. But Long Zhi fought, as hard and as much as he could. In the end, however, it simply wasn’t enough. Despite the six bodies now lying lifeless on the ground, he was afraid it was only a matter of time until he’d join them. During the fight, they’d managed to stab him, more than once, and there was very little he could do about it. At least… At least he’d done something to slow them down. It wasn’t enough to make up for all of the lives lost and destroyed thanks to him, but… It had to count for something, right?

 Sinking to the ground, Long Zhi grabbed his bag and slung it around Bao’s back. The odds of the contents ending up where they were supposed to end up were astronomical, but…  better than if he died with them here. “Go, Bao. Go find the boat. Go!” Pointing towards the harbour, he waited for his dog to start running, before resting his back against the wall with a heavy sigh. “I wish I could’ve done more. I’m sorry.”

[web-novel-polls]

Silliest Pre-Isekai Death Tournament Submissions

Who died in the silliest and clownishness of fashions? Who's death makes you go, "how did that even happen?" Submit the silliest pre-isekai death here!

Rules

Must be a character that has been Isekai-ed (reborn in another world).

Reincarnation into the same world or revival (where the character is essentially the same) does not count unless a considerate amount of time has passed. If a character is immediately revived (Ex: Morlock from Handyman Saitou), it does not count

Please describe how they died. It can be only a few words, but feel free to write as much as you want

Submissions CLOSED

Tag: #silliest pre isekai death tournament

Current Character List below the cut

[Last Updated: February 3rd, 2024]

(Submit these characters to make sure they get in & add propaganda!)

Reinhardt from The Demon Prince Goes to the Academy

Cause of Death: High blood pressure from reading mean comments on his novel(s) :(

Submission:

He was a writer and his novels were SO shitty. Every novel had shallow characters, tons of plot holes, and it ended up with "and then meteor hits and everyone dies". The readers were, simply put, NOT happy. They constantly wrote stuff like "what the hell is going on in author's head?!?" "the author can't even do basic story telling i could rewrite it even without trying"

Reinhardt saw these comments and... dropped dead on spot. That's right. He died of haterz.

When he saw own body, plopped dead on keyboard before a screen with displayed haters, there was a grim reaper. Turns out, he pissed off SO many people and to such level, it amassed him bad karma to such degree he was going to go to hell

That's right, shitty writing is a SIN and he was NOT going to see the pearly gates of heaven

To atone for the greatest sin of being pisspoor writer, instead of going to hell, he was given other option, to live as a character in one of his novels. But, as said before, they were Bad. None had a happy ending. So he only could choose a lesser evil.

Which, turned out to be a character in an initial setting, meaning right under the siege.

Shen Qingqiu from The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System

Submission 1:

He died from reading this long running webnovel that he would faithfully pay for legally, abd then rip apart every little thing about it he didnt like. It was bad. He read the last chapter, and was so angry either he ate spoiled yogurt when he wasnt looking and died of food poisoning, or choked to death on a bun. Later he would meet the author who also isekaied into it, and then said author would say that he was a super fan.

Submission 2:

died from choking on a bao lmao loser (affectionate) and then tripped on some wires and extra-died by electrocuting himself

Submission 3:

Okay it gets a bit complicated here but. There are a few versions of how it happened. In the first he is reading shitty Web novel and gets so fucking angry at the ending that he just spontaneously combusts and isekai's into the scum villain in the very novel he was flaming. In the second be chokes on a bao (while flaming the novel's ending) and dies, again isekai'ing into the scum villain. The only fact that makes the second death funnier is that the novel he is reading is a heterosexual harem collecting story that is slowly changed into gay fantasy romance through the events of SVSSS's plot, which makes the "choking on balls to death" thing so fucking much funnier

Shen Qianling from Everywhere in Jianghu is Wonderful

Submission: The ceiling above him broke just as he was receiving his first ever acting award. RIP bro and good luck on your new gay marriage (the transmigration freebie)

Shang Qinghua from The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Submission: Got too excited roasting a hater which lead to him spilling his noodles which led to him electrocuting himself. All because he was making fun of mr.Peerless Cucumber's masochistic attachment to his novel 

Ye Jiayao / Ye Jinxuan from Meng Qi Shi Shen (donghua) / Cinderella Chef

Submission: A celebrity chef who accidentally poisoned herself while trying to create a new recipe. RIP girl what the hell were you thinking. What the hell were writers thinking.

Myne / Urano Motosu from Ascendance of a Bookworm

Submission: Titular 'bookworm' who got crushed to death under a pile of books. This did nothing to diminish her love for reading though. Too bad she reincarnated into a world where printing press wasn't invented yet...

[REJECTED] Octavian from Heroes of Olypmus

Submission: my dude was preparing an onager [old roman catapult], and he was wearing too much gold, and ended up getting thrown when the onager fired, firing him along with it. MY BOI DIED BECAUSE HE HAD TOO MUCH DRIP. [he doesn't have a canon last name either 👁💧👄💧👁]

Image Link

REJECTED - Octavian was not Isekai-ed or reborn. He just died.

Dealer’s Choice

Boxxo from Reborn as a Vending Machine, I Now Wander the Dungeon

A lover of vending machines that died trying to save a vending machine from falling off the back of a truck over a cliff

Pastry from Sweet Reincarnation

Cause of Death: crushed by a giant candy sculpture

[kiwikipedia]

More Agravain stuff from my brain since his likelihood of arrival is nil in GO abut anyways

Here’s the last post on Akkun stuff

Under the cut is a BUNCH of dialogue - side note, I didn’t really know about the FK in depth when working on this so I went off of his preexisting relationships with Gawain, Lancelot, and Morgan (for Bao) . I also wanted to include more but I figured 22 is a lot (20 if you arent counting the other fan servants) and I ended up cutting the three Hassan and xaunzang.

This is mostly just servant interaction, working on cleaning up the bonds and extra dialogue (likes, dislikes, combat, etc)

Dialogue 1:

What do you need? Do not bother me with frivolous things.

Dialogue 2:

Hah. What a handful of a Master you are.

Dialogue 3:

If there is work to be done, leave it here. I will handle it.

Dialogue 4 (Lancelot, both):

You-!! Do not speak to me! Do not even look in my direction unnecessarily, the mere idea of working with someone like you makes me ill.

Dialogue 5 (Gawain):

Well met, Gawain. Hm? A request? Urk- no, no. I will not refer to you as such, not even in an informal setting-! Gareth might call you ‘big brother’ but I have no intention to do so! (Sigh.) fine. Simply calling you brother should be sufficient. No? … Don’t push your luck.

Dialogue 6 (Mordred):

You look well, Mordred… hmph. As rambunctious as ever, aren’t you? Don’t go an cause problems for our Master or King. Go on, get out of here. Yes, yes, don't wait up, as you say.

Dialogue 8 (Garath):

Good to see you, Garath. Hm? Ah… please do not call me as such, Gawain is much more suited to be called ‘big brother’ than I. Urk-! G-Gareth… [sigh] very well… if it makes you happy, you can continue to call me as such.

Dialogue 9 (Carmilla):

They say that you are a master of torture. Perhaps a conversation on techniques is in order?

Dialogue 10 (King Hassan):

Hm. It appears that donning amor isn’t as scarce as I expected from Assassins. Though this is the progenitor of Assassins… despite our differences- Well met.

Dialogue 11 (Any Knight of the Round Table):

Indeed I am here as well. If it makes you uncomfortable ignore me, it doesn’t matter what you do as long as the job gets done.

Dialogue 12 (any Arturia):

Ah, my King… if there is anything you wish of me to do, I will do it. Hm? Rest? Ah… well… if you insist, my King.

Dialogue 13 (Morgan le Fay):

Urk-!! (He looks like he’s looking for a way to escape)

Dialogue 14 (any Faerie knight):

Ah. Hmm. I’m afraid I just do not understand what exactly is going on…

Dialogue 15 (any Alter Saber):

To think that this is… no, this being is not my King.

Dialogue 16 (Gray):

Strange… truly, you resemble the King but… at the same time, you are very different. Your responsible nature is admirable, though. Should you need advice from a dour man like myself, as a… distant… blood relative, my door is open.

Dialogue 17 (Fairy Knight Gawain/Barghest‎‎):

You’re… Gawain, you say? From your world? I… Hm. I suppose I can see the resemblance and why that woman would give you that graph.

Dialogue 18 (Fairy Knight Tristan/Baobhan Sith‎‎):

I warn you, if you start calling me ‘brother’ as Gareth does, I will remove your head from your shoulders. We may share a connection through that Woman but that is all.

Dialogue 19 (Fairy Knight Lancelot/Melusine):

To think that fool would be represented by a waif of such stature in that place… I suppose holding animosity towards you for being that rabid dog’s counterpart is… unbecoming of me

Dialogue 20 (Ching Shih, Clear Eternal Summer Stage):

[Sigh] We meet again, Crimson Pirate. Please get off of me, we are not— watch where you’re putting your hands, woman!

Dialogue 21 (Vincent Van Gogh (True), Clear Eternal Summer Stage):

Ah, so you are here as well painter. You should not hide yourself away like that, though. I’m certain there are many others who wish to see you.

Dialogue 22 (Romani, Clear Eternal Summer Stage):

Hm… I did not expect to see you again, Doctor of Chaldea, and as a Servant, no less. I understand that I am not one to talk, but even as a Servant you should not overwork. Especially as Chaldea’s beloved doctor.

[krizaland]

Frozen with Fear Chapter 9

LMK Wukong x Bao Li

Be warned: There’s more kidnapping ahead!

First Previous

The Mayor cleared his throat as he begun to circle the two monkeys.

“Long ago, my lady went off on a journey to help improve this wretched world. She went from kingdom to kingdom but everyone rejected her kindness. Just when she thought all was lost, what did she find? A sweet monkey princess helping out the less fortunate.”

The Mayor chuckled darkly as he continued his story.

“After spending so long witnessing nothing but suffering and misery, my lady was touched to finally see another kind soul. Or so she thought-” -The mayor’s eyes gave off an icy glow as he shot Bao Li a glare.

Bao Li felt a knot in her stomach as more tears streamed down her face.

“Not wanting the princess to be tainted by the cruelty of others, my lady decided to offer her guidance. All she asked in return was the princess’s love. But the princess was more selfish than she thought.”

Macaque looked over at Bao Li and grunted.

He would be lying if he said he couldn’t relate a little bit.

“That ungrateful princess betrayed my lady and threw away everything she gave her. My poor, sweet lady, was left absolutely heartbroken. All she ever wanted to do was help. How could the princess be so cruel?” The Mayor whimpered dramatically.

It was then Bao Li found her voice.

“That’s not true! Lady Bone Demon didn’t want to help anyone! She wanted to use me and The Gem of Life to destroy the world!”

“So you’d rather let this world fester in misery than start fresh? You really are a selfish one aren’t you?” The Mayor snickered.

“Tell me, how is not wanting to destroy the world selfish?!” Macaque snapped as he wriggled against his restraints.

The Mayor simply chuckled and patted Macaque’s head.

“Oh Ho! I doubt your simple mind could understand the complexity of my lady’s plans.”

Macaque let out a growl and tried to bite The Mayor only to be met with a smack.

“Ah! Ah! Ah! It’s awfully rude to bite people-” -The Mayor wagged a finger- “-You know you really should be punished for being so rude but I’m feeling merciful today. So I’ll offer you a deal: You may walk free if your friend here goes in your place.”

Macaque felt like he was shot in the chest.

“WHAT?! HELL NO!” Macaque spat as he struggled harder.

“Oh I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like a choice.”

The Mayor’s eyes gave off another icy glow as he snapped his fingers.

FWOOSH!

Bao Li let out a scream as she was dragged down into a blue portal.

“NO! BAO LI! BRING HER BACK! I’LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT! JUST BRING HER BACK!” Macaque pleaded as a few tears trickled down his cheeks.

The Mayor let out a maniacal laugh.

“Oh you pitiful fool! It’s far too late to save her. Ta-Ta~”

And with a mocking wave, The Mayor disappeared into the darkness.

The moment The Mayor left, the chains restraining Macaque disappeared as well.

“BAO LI! NO! ARGH! I can’t believe I let that bastard take her from me-”

BAM!

Macaque punched the wall, leaving behind a massive hole.

“Don’t worry, Sapphire. I’ll get you back. And once I do, I won’t let you get away from me again!”

And with that, Macaque opened a shadow portal and slunk away.

Meanwhile, Bao Li landed with a thud into a room covered in spider webs.

“W-Where am I?!” Bao Li whimpered.

“Oh don’t worry about that-” -The Mayor reappeared behind her- “-You won’t be alive long enough to stick around.”

Bao Li let out a yelp as The Mayor loomed over her.

“Please listen to reason! Lady Bone Demon only cares about destruction! You have nothing to gain from this!”

The Mayor simply ignored Bao Li’s cries as he threw her over his shoulder.

“Oh I’m going to enjoy watching my lady pop your pretty little head off.” He whispered into her ear.

Bao Li frantically writhed against her restraints.

“You don’t understand! If you give me to Lady Bone Demon all will be lost! Please don’t-”

“Hey! What’s with all the racket?!”

Out from the shadows emerged none other than The Spider Queen.

Bao Li let out a scream as The Spider Queen’s beady green eyes oozed with hunger.

The Spider Queen looked over at Bao Li and cooed,

“Well, well, well! Looks like The Monkey King’s little butterfly got caught in my web!”

“Oh you don’t need to worry about her, your majesty. I’m simply taking care of a personal issue.”

The Mayor tried to keep walking but The Spider Queen blocked his path.

“Aww, can’t she stay for dinner? I think she’d make the perfect dessert.” The Spider Queen purred she squished Bao Li’s face.

The Mayor looked over at Bao Li’s terrified expression and grinned.

“Oh what the hell! I don’t see why not!”

Bao Li burst into tears as The Spider Queen and The Mayor laughed manically.

Meanwhile, Wukong was on the warpath with MK in tow.

Steam practically poured out of Wukong’s ears as he and MK rode his cloud.

MK swallowed thickly as he looked over to his seething mentor.

Wukong’s breathing was heavy as he clenched his fists.

He gritted his teeth as the flames of rage danced in his eyes.

Even his eye glamours had dropped, revealing their true ruby red color.

MK quickly looked down and scanned his surroundings.

“I swear when I get my hands on that Macaque I’m gonna-”

“Look! Down there! I think that’s him!” MK announced as he pointed below.

Sure enough, there was Macaque, searching for Bao Li.

“Good! Alright, kid stay here and keep the cloud running. I’ll take care of Macaque.”

With a loud war cry, Wukong leapt off the cloud and dove down right in front of Macaque.

BOOM!

The ground shook as Wukong rose to his feet.

He folded his arms and flashed his fangs.

“Give Bao Li back to me! Now!”

Next

———————————————————————

Like what you’ve read? Buy me a ko-fi for early access to my stuff!

[purplesurveys]

1844

What did you have for dinner tonight?: It's only 10 AM, but last night we went to Solaire to watch Miss Saigon and we went with an Asian spread. I got bao, rice paper rolls, and pad thai.

If you were given a million dollars, what would you spend it on? I'd keep a good portion of it as savings and not touch it until I'm like, 65; the rest I would give to my parents.

Have you ever cried in front of your parents over a boyfriend or girlfriend?: Nope.

What does your bedroom smell like right now?: Like coffee, I'm guessing.

Have you ever shaved off your eyebrow before?: I've never done that but I did have trichotillomania growing up so I had phases where I was missing chunks of my eyebrows.

Do you want to have a boy or girl whenever you have kids?: Girl.

Your pregnant with twins: What do you name them?: Definitely not similar names like Kaye and Kate as it would only make me more confused haha.

Describe your outfit.: Only in loungewear today as I'm at home, but last night I had on a dark green halter dress that went down to a bit above my knees. It also had a slit on the left leg side. I wore black heels and a small black shoulder bag as well.

What gigabyte is your memory card?: I haven't had a hard drive since high school, even though I know I really should invest in one.

What brand is your digital camera?: I don't own a digicam but damn if those things aren't seeing a resurgence lately. I might be the only one in my age group left who still doesn't have one.

When was the last time you hung out with your best friend?: Angela came over last month just to hang out and have some heart to hearts here and there.

What is a movie you're waiting to see?: I've been meaning to watch The Iron Claw. It's not all the time that a movie centered around wrestling gets to be produced and becomes critically-acclaimed at that, so I'm looking forward to seeing it.

Who was the last person to cook something for you?: Apart from the crew at Solaire lol, my mom.

Do you ever sit and think what if about something?: Sure, I think it's inevitable to come across those thoughts every now and then.

If so, what is it?: It's always very different. Like what if we're one of those families able to migrate, what if Kimi was still alive, what if I chose to be a journalist...there's a million scenarios with a million possibilities and how actively my mind runs I could be thinking about anything.

What’s on tv right now?: My own TV isn't it but I know my sister is watching some streamer play video games in the living room TV.

Do you ever stop and smell the roses?: Sure, if I remember to.

Where do you download music from?: I listen to music on Spotify but never download cause it'd take up so much storage if I were to download all the albums I like.

How many channels do you have on your tv?: Don't really throw around the word 'channels' anymore, but as for apps we have subscriptions to and regularly use it'd be Netflix, YouTube, Disney+, Prime, Apple TV, and quite recently this local sports channel since it's the only one in the country that airs WWE live.

What are you most scared of?: Getting cancer or dementia. < This, but these circumstances happening to my family. I honestly don't think I'd care as much if it happened to me.

If you were given a chance to bring someone back to life, who would you choose?: No one. If it's their time, it's their time; and I don't want to fuck around with grief.

Do you talk to any of your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?: Nope.

If so, which one?:

What is your mom doing right now?: I think she's on her phone just reliving our Miss Saigon experience last night haha. I'm glad she really enjoyed it! She watched the 2000 Manila tour – it was still Lea Salonga playing Kim - and I call out Lea cause she set such a high standard for Kim; and it made me worried that her Gen X self might end up simply comparing the 2024 show to what she watched 24 years ago.

I was happy and relieved it wasn't the case and she had so much fun. As for me my soft spot was hit all evening knowing that she originally watched with my dad, and now she got to watch the play with her three kids.

Are you currently listening to music?: I'm not.

What is the weather like right now?: I mean it's your typical weather in the Philippines in April. Approaching 40C, humid, uncomfortably and nearly painfully hot.

Do you like new music or older music?: I think it's a good mix.

Do you agree that abortion is wrong?: No.

If you could make a law, what would kind of law would you make?: I just wanted to get rid of e-bikes on highways but the government has already been on that so yay hahaha.

What was the last video game you played?: Mario Kart 8 on the Switch.

What is currently going on in the room you're in right now?: Apart from me taking this, noting.

Do you know where your best friend is?: I'm almost certain she is at home as it is still quite early.

Who was the last person to comment you on Facebook?: Angela, I think.

What is your display picture of on Facebook?: Me posing in front of the Impact Arena in Bangkok a few hours before Yoongi's concert.

Do you ever sit and think about the past?: Just occasionally.

If you could relive any moment in time: what would it be?: Let's go with a recent memory – Wrestlemania Sunday with 200 Cody-crazed fans watching the ref count to three.

Are you a talker or a listener?: Listener.

What is one food you will not eat?: Mango.

Do you eat anything now that you never used to eat?: Curry and wasabi.

Have you ever kissed the same sex?: Yes.

When does school start this year?: Haven't been in school since 2020.

What genre of music do you refuse to listen to?: Country. Which is why it's taking me forever to take on Cowboy Carter hahaha.

Do you ever shout for absolutely no reason?: I don't think so. If I scream it's always for a reason lol.

Have you stuck with your new years resolution?: I don't make em.

Do you need to lose any weight right now?: No. If anything I need to gain some. I was well under 100lbs at my last physical exam and the nurses also told me I had low blood pressure which had to do with my weight, so it might be healthiest to gain a few pounds.

What is something you want right now?: I wish I can just stay at home but alas I've been booked the last few days haha. Saturday - Work event Sunday morning - Wrestlemania Saturday Monday morning - Wrestlemania Sunday Tuesday - Miss Saigon Wednesday - Afternoon out with Bea and Kata Thursday & Friday - Work Saturday - Rest Sunday - Work event

Even then it's still kinda hard to be excited about Saturday because I know it's sandwiched between two busy days anyway.

Do you hate when you see teachers in stores?: I don't hate it but I also don't wish for it to happen.

What always puts a smile on your face?: My dogs.

Where can I find you on a Saturday night?: At home with a cup of coffee.

What is the best thing about Sundays?: The free time - for the most part, at least.

What is your music provider (itunes, windows media player): I just use Spotify.

How many songs do you have?: I don't download songs.

When was the last time you had a period?: Two weeks ago.

Why do you think the sky is blue?: Idk.

If you could change the sky to any color which would you choose?: I wouldn't change it. We get different colors already anyway.

Is there anything wrong with you right now?: I mean I'm running on 2 hours of sleep so I don't super particularly feel my best rn but I think I'll manage.

Do you hate when people stare at you?: It bothers me a little bit, yeah.

What always makes you angry, no matter what?: Toddlers throwing a tantrum.

[ma1dmer]

Star Wars - Bao-Dur NSFW

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex): whatever you need him for he is there, he'll bring you some water and if you ask he'll massage the soreness on your thighs and shoulders, but he does need to be told what to do, he is happy to do anything it just doesnt cross his mind at first

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): thighs, he loves your thighs so much, squeezing and seeing the flesh squish out between his fingers of both his flesh and mechanical hand, loves holding them open when he dives between your legs or when he feels you wrap them around his waist when you are about to cum

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person): doesn't care much for the mess, he’ll be careful and use protection

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): he likes when someone tries flirting with you, he doesn’t usually step up to stop anyone unless you seem clearly uncomfortable, but he likes when people aknowledge how beautiful you are and always feels this sense of pride swell up in him, as well as something else, knowing you are his, also if you don’t make it known you are in a relationship he does not explicitly say you two are together when someone interested in you asks, he wants to see how it plays out, makes some implication or vague enough statement, but usually just sits back and watches 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?): he has some experience ,but hasn't experimented a lot, hasn't felt that sort of safety to try out a lot of things

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual): he does like flexing how strong he actually is so he does like picking you up , against a wall or simply holding you up, biceps flexing as he bounces you on him

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc): he makes some dead pan jokes in the most random times and by the time you get that he made a joke its too late, he has already moved on back to pleasuring you

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.): he keeps everything well groomed ,he also smells very intensely of whatever shower gel he uses

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…): not much for words but be does make up with it by overwhelming you with kisses and soft touches, he is really a big lover of physical touch

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon): he usually does it to clear out his mind and fall asleep or to be able to return to his work with a clearer head

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks): clothed sex, semi public etc

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do): the comfort of your room, either his or yours, can be convinced to try some empty broom closet or a bathroom stall in nar shadda, but he takes a while to think it over, might say no initially but will definitely ask the next time you are there

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going): dressing up, he hates to admit that he is not immune to seeing you in something you are obviously feeling yourself in, he feels bad if your intention wasn't to turn him on but he can't help the way his brain short circuits as his eyes take you in

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): he does not like demeaning you in any way, not good with dirty talk at all especially that type of dirty talk

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc): he loves 69ing, he'll pull your hips up to his face and makes it his goal to distract you, he'll stop when you stop and ask you if you are okay, you stopped first after all, asks if he is doing okay, even though he knows damn well he is doing more than great

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.): slow and sensual, he grinds against you when he bottoms out, he'll stop as he is fully inside you and just hold you for a while relishing in the way you feel wrapped around him

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.): he does like the idea of them, but he rarely agrees to them, he is often busy or very focused in his work

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.): he needs to feel very comfortable with the person he has next to him to try out new things, but once he gets there he is very open , he enjoys every new experience with you because he likes pleasing you ,will do his reasearch and all

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…): a lot of stamina and with the pace he sets he can go for a long long time, if you get tired he just stops even if he hasn't finished

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?): he acts indifferent to them but he has thought of making something specifically for you, he might get to it eventually ,there are the blueprints but he always gets distracted or he gets too flustered

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): he is a damn tease, a wolf in sheep’s clothing, you don't expect it much but he is, he'll apologise but hide a smile at the nape of your neck

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make): he is very quiet and he usually groans against your lips in between kisses muffling himself

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice): he loves when you mark him up, he wouldn't tell you so but he does like seeing where you sunk your nails into him or the small love bites on his chest and neck it makes him feel proud

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words): he is a big man, he is thick and there is a specific vein that makes him shudder when you drag your fingers or tongue over it

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?): he silently pines from afar , when you look back at him he smiles at you and if you approach he'll interlace your fingers and grab your hand to kiss the palm of it ,he is not usually very into pda, so you can tell that he wants you even if he doesn't say anything

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): he does get a while to fall asleep, usually needs to be urged to join you in bed but once you ask he comes easily with a whispered apology about disturbing you

[quitealotofsodapop]

Ok but Wukong claims MK as Yubei's honorary/sworn older brother. Macaque who was in the room suddenly feels a cold swear as he Realized Wukong Sees MK As His Kid. His Clcub, who Macaque had chased fown and hunted like an animal in an effort to keep LBD's attention off of Wukong himself.

Macaque has that revelation loooong before Yuebei is born.

You see...

When Macaque was still processing that Wukong (his former mate) had been pregnant with the Egg for many many years - he had a brief brain-fart during "Shadow Play" and at during his panic he asks;

Macaque: "Is it my kid!? Wait..." *glares at MK really hard* "Are you my kid???" MK: "Wut." Macaque: "No, no, wait, thats dumb, it's the same baby now as back then. Sorry bud, but I am totally freaking out right now." MK: "Because you spent the last couple hundred years being a deadbeat dad?" Macaque, grabs MK by the shoulders: "YES!!"

The rest of the MKrew escape the Shadow Lantern simply because Mac was panicking so hard he dropped it. Even being super mad at him, they stay until he stops hyperventillating. In Mac's defense, he's not sure how long normal Stone Monkey pregnancies should be.

Even once the realisation kicks in that the "Egg" is a Stone Egg formed from Wukong being encased in the mountain without resources - Macaque has a second "crap Im dad" realisation when he realises that him abandoning/cutting-off Wukong back then is what triggered the process. He still wants to take responsibility for the Egg as it's indirect creator.

And ofc during S3, Macaque notices how protective/paternal Wukong is with MK and starts to realise;

MK might not be Macaque's kid, but Wukong certainly considers MK to be *his* kid.

Macaque has tricked, fought, and psychologically tormented said kid in his goal to either hurt Wukong or extract information.

Macaque is now being forced to capture said kid and/or Wukong for LBD less he suffers a fate worse than death. And while Macaque would hate to do either, he can't stand the thought of handing Wukong over. So MK is his primary target throughout S3, even if Mac tries his best to "soften the blow" if it were when he tries capturing him.

MK is super excited to meet the Egg when it's finally born, and is acting in a manner typical of an older monkey cub wanting to care for their younger sibling. It's too fricking cute and-

Well crap, now Mac doesn't want to turn the kid over. Mostly cus doing so will def hurt Wukong and make his King somehow hate Mac even more than he does now.

Maybe if they do get the Samadhi Fire, him and Wukong might- Macaque, begings violently batting away his talkative shadow clones: "NOPE! Get the heck out of here with that!! I'm just getting the Fire to be free of LBD's influence!"

And once Yuebei is finally born...

Wukong, talking to the baby: "Bao bei [treasure], this is your big brother, MK. Well, honorary big brother, but you get what I mean." MK, holding Yuebei: *is so happy he can't form words + is happy-crying* Macaque: *trying his best not to ask MK "hey, wanna be our son?", cus Mk has his adoptive dads + Mac thinks the kid hates him anyway* "Hah. Crybaby." MK, still crying: "Shut up. You cried when you saw her for the first time." Macaque, trying his best not happy-cry again: "She looks like me! Of course I'd cry - such a curse to place upon a innocent soul!" Wukong: *sighs fondly at the back-and-forth*

Mac's gut reaction is to insult others/himself when he feels emotionally vulnerable, and MK knows how to flip it around.

It very much becomes a "Dad treating his eldest son vs younger daughter" situation, especially if Bai He is thrown into the mix. Mac will 100% spoil his little princesses, but MK...

MK can handle it. He's Wukong's heir. He's ok with Mac only really being soft on him when no one else is around. Secretly Mac's kinda jealous of the dad-attention Pigsy, Wukong, and even Tang get from the kidm even though in his heart he knows it's unlikely MK will ever see Mac as a father figure.

[thedorklegacy]

The Dork Legacy 3.6 part 6

Skunky: I'm just doing it because I'm a follower! *herk! bleeeh*

Dormies: *gather and sigh*

Roman: *goes to get a tan again*

Cooper: I'm a slave to treeeeenndss...

NO COOPER NO. T^T

Meanwhile, back at the ranch...

GladOS: Have you heard the news about your husband?

Shelby: No, and I'm not interested in hearing what you have to say.

GladOS: But this is something that you want to know. My calculations are never incorrect.

Shelby: Did you just...shove me?

GladOS: It was not a shove, it was an Aperture Science Stimulation Maneuver. I was simply trying to gain your attention.

Shelby: Bitch-ass robot.

GladOS: It hurts, because I was so happy for you...

Wooo, looks like GladOS has been engaging in some Aperture Science Glute Seizing Maneuvers!

GladOS: I would just like to inform you that you have not been following Aperture Science protocol. This is an offense with a serious punishment, including but not limited to a serious black mark on your permanent testing record.

GladOS: Followed by death. :D

It was also time to take the sim count down a little bit, so Bao-Dur and his family got their own place.

This is their house!

Bao-Dur: Oooh, you're so fine when you're not cheating on me!

Nettie: Tee hee!

HK-47: *hovers*

Ithoria: Bang bang!

Miraluka's Eye: *sticks out of her head*

Miraluka: I think I feel a growth spurt coming on...

Miraluka: *bamf*

Ithoria: *bamf*

HOLY SHIT THAT'S HER EYE!

Er...so, yeah. Now I am happy about my choice not to make Bao-Dur the heir. O.o Next update coming soon!

Originally posted at katu_sims.

[robinhobiii]

deception | mafia! w. jh

summery : jun gets a unsettling feeling in his gut. Was he worrying for nothing? Or was karma finally getting him back.

This is a part 2 to “I Flower You”

Life has been good for Jun for these last 6 months. He got his sweet girlfriend by his side, no one threatening Seventeen, and he even got promoted at Highlight from businessman to company representative. He’s gotta use the manipulation skills to better benefit the family. The love of his life was still not questioning why he buys so many flowers but she did question why he goes out so late at night. He brushes it off with a “oh just distributing some assets to our clients, nothing too special bao.” But Jun would take her to the office building late at night so he could prove a point. That point being that it’s just late night business. Of course he wouldn’t take her when it’s serious business. He was doing a good job hiding what he does.

But he couldn’t help but feel this unsettling feeling in his gut these past few days. Maybe this will be his demise? So the past few days he’s been giving extra kisses and extra I love you’s to Y/n. If he goes, then at least the one thing he treasures will know how much he loved her.

. . .

“Junnie, let’s gooooo” Y/n as she pulled him towards the door.

“Just a second baobao, I need make this gift is perfect.”

“You have been looking at the same patterned shirt with different colors for the last 30 minutes.”

“I need to invision him wearing it.”

“Who is this for? They must be someone real important for you to be staring for that long.”

“The same person you’re meeting Saturday”

“Oh, what was his name? S. . Sen. . Ah Seungcheol!”

“Yes you’re right” he chuckled.

“He’s your friend right?”

“He may be my friend but he’s also my boss. Gotta be professional.”

. . .

Saturday rolled around and they were getting ready to meet at Seungchol’s house. His wife already called three times asking why they’re so late.

“Jun, hurry up. He’s just your friend why are you being so nervous?”

“Beibei I told you, he may be my friend but he’s still my boss. And I’m making the two most important people in my life meet, of course I’m nervous.”

“Honey, it’ll be fine. I’m also nervous. I know how much you look up to Seungcheol-ssi”

He put his forehead against hers said whispered “I just don’t want anything to wrong.”

“Nothing will.” She whispered.

He pulled away and he cleared his throat. Jun gave a soft smile as he held her hand.

“Let’s go bao.”

. . .

They pulled up in front of the large gate. Behind the gate was a huge mansion. “Woah! Jun you didn’t tell me he was this rich.”

He simply chuckled as the guard gave the thumbs up to drive in. He parked and went to the passenger side to open her door. “Jun I can’t go in.” She said as she clutched onto the seatbelt. Jun was confused.

“I should’ve know he’d be this rich being one of CEO’s. And I especially should’ve know when I seen your penthouse. I don’t think I fit this lifestyle. I’m so nervous. I can’t.” Y/n said as looked away from Jun. “Take me home, Jun.”

“You told me not to be worried anything and now you’re worried about hyung being rich. I told you about him. He’s very friendly. He’s like an older brother I’ve never had. He’ll never make you feel bad. Don’t be scared.” He said softly. “Trust me, bao. He may seem scary but he only wants the best for his 12 younger brother. Don’t be intimidated.” Y/n looked up at him.

“Okay, I’ll try not to be”

He smiled as he unbuckle her seatbelt and helped her up. Jun gave peck to her lips. “No matter what beibei, you’ll always be mine.” He smirked. They both finally walked to the front door and walked in.

“Finally the two lovebirds are here” A man greeted them with a bright smile.

“Y/n this is Seokmin, Seokmin this is Y/n.” Jun said as he gave space to let her shake his hand.

“Please to finally meet you. He wouldn’t stop gushing about you for almost a year straight.” Seokmin said as he shook her hands.

“It’s nice to meet you too. I’ve heard a lot about you as well”

“Hope it’s all good talk”

Y/n smiled as Jun lead her around and getting her to meet every one, even Seuncheol’s wife.

“And that’s all of us.” Soonyoung said.

“But. . . Uh” Y/n said softly.

“But what dear” Seungcheol’s wife said with a soft smile.

“Uh, where is Seungcheol-ssi?”

“Oh” His wife chuckled.

“He’s here, he’s added finishing touches to dinner. Would you like to meet him?”

“Umm from the picture that are hanging on walls, he seems scary.”

Everyone laughed at her innocent comment.

“He’s a real softie when you get to know him. Here, come with me. We’ll meet him in the kitchen.”

“Um Jun are you not com-“

“Don’t worry about him. Let’s go meet the man himself.”

“O-okay”

They walked towards the kitchen and there he stood, with his Hello Kitty apron.

“Yeobo, this is Jun’s girlfriend. She’s a little nervous too meet you. Be nice to her while I go set the table.”

And with that she left, leaving her with him. Even being in his presence was scary.

Her cheeks were flushed red with how nervous she was.

“Um . . I-I’m Par-rk Y-Y/n. Nice to m-meet you.”

He chuckled at how flustered and nervous she was being. He ruffled her hair and said “I’m Seungcheol but you already know that. I promise I may look mean, but I care for my younger brothers and now my younger sisters. You know.”

“Wait, you’re not going to interview everything about me and intimidate me into leaving Jun?!”

He laughed as he ruffled her hair again. “You’re so cute! But I don’t do that. I can see through people and I can tell you’re a tender and caring person. You mean no harm to Jun.” He gave a soft smile and said to her “Welcome to the family, Park Y/n.” And pulled her in for a hug. “You know I’ve been wanting a new younger sister for a while now.” She laughed softly at that. His wife came in at that exact moment and saw the wonderful site. She quckily ran to the living room and pull Jun towards the kitchen. “Look at this Junnie.” Pride bloomed in his chest as he saw them hugging and getting along. Maybe he worried for nothing.

. . .

Hours passed and now it was nearing midnight. They boys were getting a little too drunk and were messing around. The ladies were already beyond drunk, especially Soonyoung’s fiancé. She was speaking gibberish and wobbling around. Y/n quietly chuckled at her shenanigans. She hadn’t drunk all night and had the pleasure of watching everyone be silly. Jun was a little buzzed but still conscious in his thoughts.

“I think we should head home.” Y/n said as she got up. “YoOoU” Soonyoung’s wife hiccups. “YoOu’Re SoOo LuCkY. yOoUr InNoCeNtS iS hErE. I wAn mInE BaCk.” She whined.

“I think you should rest unnie. You had a little too much to drink.” Y/n said as she tried to help her lay down.

“nO! dO yOu KnOw wHat yOu GoT yOuRsElF iNtO? Huh?!”

Y/n started to feel uncomfortable. What was she on about? She opened her mouth to speak but Soonyoung’s fiancé beat her to it. “He’s in the mafia. All of our lovers are. They are Seventeen. I thought since he brought you here, you’d know, but you don’t.” She pouted. “I want to go back to when I didn’t know what Soonyoung did. Now I constantly stress about him and others around us. It’s soooo scary.” She continued.

But Y/n heard enough. He lied to her? She should’ve known. It’s obvious as to why he bought so many flowers. To pluck out information. She was unintentionally helping a criminal. She was now sick to her stomach. The last 16 months were her fantasizing about one of the most wanted man and she had no clue. She should’ve trusted her gut that day. She shouldn’t have confronted him. She should’ve acted like she knew nothing and act indifferent to the news. Why did she have to believe him so blindly? She needs to leave before she falls in even more deep. He betrayed her and now her own life could be in dangerous.

Her head whipped up to meet his. There was utter silence in Seungcheol’s enormous living room. She was shaking in fear as she looked around. All 13 of them were dangerous men of Asia and here they were drinking away like it was nothing. Y/n’s breathing quickly became irregular as she couldn’t think right. All she wanted was to be far way from Jun. And so finally her fight or flight finally kicked in and she bolted for the door. Jun quickly followed behind her as she ran across the driveway and onto the road. Jun lost track of her for a good 3 minutes. She was small but boy was she mighty. She was able to outrun and now was out of sight. That was until Jun heard small tip taps from the other street. He ran towards the other street and was able to catch up. Y/n was face to face with Jun and felt the fear take over her.

. . .

She woke up in her shared room. Y/n shot up and noticed she was in her pajamas. She jumped up from the bed and went to the kitchen. There she saw Jun and her blood ran cold. She couldn’t move, frozen in fear.

“Are you alright bao? You were whimpering in your sleep. I tried waking you but you weren’t responding,so I came to grab water to sprinkle on your face.” Jun said calmingly as he moved towards. She quickly walked away firm and yelled out “S-Stay a-away fro-om me-e” she stuttered out. Jun looked confused. “Are you okay? I know you were having a nightmare. Talk to me please.” He pleaded as he tried taking her hand. She flinched back, “You are in the mafia. You lied to me. I can’t believe I didn’t trust my gut. I was to blind to see past you.” She cried. “I told you I work at Highlight and I even showed you my coworkers. Bao, you even came to my promotional party. It would be impossible to be a business man and in the mafia. Why are you so scared.” She looked at him in disbelief. Was he really lying after what took place at his boss’s house. She was shaking out of fear again. “Ài ren, are you feeling okay? I’ve been worried for you. We even had to cancel plans to go to hyung’s house. You didn’t look good at all when I came back.” He said as he gently lifted her face, brushing the stray hairs behind her ear.

Now she was confused. “Wha. . We were just at their house. What are you talking about?”

“Bao, we made plans to go to their house Sunday, which is today.”

“N-no you said Saturday, I even wrote on the fridge’s calendar. Don’t lie to me.”

He sighed before pinching his the top of his nose bridge. “Go look at the fridge then.”

She made her way there and written in her writing “Dinner at Seungcheol-ssi’s house” under Sunday.

“How? I-I remember w-writing it on Saturday.”

“Beibei, I think you need rest. Let’s go to bed it’s already 11:30.”

He leads her back to bed and climbs in with her. She faced away from him. There was silence looming over them. Tears continuously streamed out. Y/n was confused and lost on what to think. But that got her thinking. He never would go act suspicious when phone calls came. He talked very professionally on the phone and no words would be out of place. Jun even took her to his office building late at night when clients would call.

Oh god.

She accused him of something based on her dream. Y/n quickly turned around and hugs him close and cries even more. He only held on. “I’m sorry for accusing like that. I’m just so scared and the dream felt so real and it was awful.” He shushed her and continued to rub her back, comforting her. “It’s okay, everything will be okay.”

She fell back asleep as Jun assured her that he wasn’t mad. Jun caressed her puffy face and gave a loving kiss on her forehead. Thank goodness she believed him. That was an agonizing fours hours trying to get everything sorted, making a foolproof plan to not let these 16 months go to waste.

————

That was until Jun heard small tip taps from the other street. He ran towards the other street and was able to catch up. Y/n was face to face with Jun and felt the fear take over her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him. Then he quickly hit a nerve on her shoulder which caused her to pass out. She fell into his arms and he picked her up bridal style. Jun made it back to S.coups’ house and by the looks of it, the boys sobered up real quick. All the ladies made their way upstairs, probably too drunk comprehend anything. But Soonyoung’s fiancé came towards him crying, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say anything, I was so drunk. I’m sorry!”

“It’s fine. You were drunk, just be cautious next time.” He said, assuring her that it was an accident.

“Hyung what should I do? I don’t want her to leave. I really love her.” Jun said looking up to Seungcheol.

“Just explain it to her, she maybe mad but she’ll come around.” Jeonghan cut in.

“The difference between your girlfriend and mine is that she’s been with you for three fucking years. Of course she’s not going to leave you. We’ve been together for only six months. It wouldn’t matter to her if she left this relationship.”

Seungcheol sighed as he went into thinking. “Okay what you’re going to do is go back home and get her dressed back into her pajamas. Then make her believe that the dinner party is on Sunday instead of Saturday. Act like you had to cancel because she didn’t look well.” Jun nodded as he was formulating on what to say when she wakes up.

“Well since you hit her nerve in her shoulder, I’m assuming she’ll be up in an hour, so Shua will give you some sleeping medicine to feed her and she should be up around 8 pm Sunday. Alright?”

Jun nodded. He made it to the car and gently buckled her in. He was nervous for the first time in a while. He did this plenty of times with other people but this was the love of his life on the line, making her believe that he’s not what he is. Her sweet laugh lingered in his head as the nervousness slowly left him. That is what he was fighting for.

. . .

Jun stared at her innocent face. She went a full 16 months without knowing before yesterday night. Now he knows to be extra cautious with certain things. He can’t let her leave, this is something he’ll have to work around. She doesn’t have to know and she’ll never know. He’s going to make sure. He’ll fight hell and back just for her to have a peace of mind.

Jun was not the kind to nervous but this was another level. This is not the end of the story. They’ll continue to write on until there’s nothing left to say. Jun wanted this fairytale to continue and he will make continue no matter what.

“Like I said beibei, you’ll always be mine”