#i want to develop my story and get validation for it being cool

[violetclarity]

gotta love the feature of depression that's like, can't tell if people in my life are actually being annoying or if I'm not handling things well and therefore overreacting to things that would normally not bother me!

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: Queer fantasy, part 1

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean “guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending”, but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/a-spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don’t always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of “gay best friend” or a blink and you’ll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

For queer sci-fi recs, click here! For a masterpost of book rec lists, click here! For more details on the books recommended here, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites!

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez*

AKA the book the killed me. Two boys travel throughout their land with the body of a god as her horrible, horrible children try to hunt them down. It’s hard to explain more than that, but trust me when I say the narrative voice and literary techniques are incredibly unique in how they blend past and present, reality and story, lead and bystander. Truly an experience. Features an m/m romance.

The Unbroken (Magic of the Lost series) by C.L. Clark*

Tourraine, who was stolen as a child and trained as a soldier for the empire that conquered her home, is recruited by Luka, the future leader of the conquering country, to root out a rebellion. A game of twisted loyalties and attraction is soon to develop as the two must decide where their priorities lie: with each other, or with their respective countries and people.

Sing the Four Quarters (Quarters series) by Tanya Huff*

Though a royal by birth, princess Annice renounced her throne to become a bard, a musician who through training can Sing elemental spirits to do their bidding. Ten years later, she goes on the run for two counts of treason, first by imperiling the succession order by becoming pregnant, second by helping her ex, and the father of her child, escape the palace dungeons and a death sentence. Bisexual lead in an f/f relationship. When I first read this book I described it as, and I quote, 'a fucking delight', and I stand by that.

The Unspoken Name (The Serpent Gates duology) by C.L. Clark*

The sort of portal fantasy you get when all the worlds connected by portals are fantasy worlds, and none of them are ours. The portals themselves become simply a part of the worldbuilding that the characters use to travel between fascinating places, and it’s all really cool. It follows Csorwe (lesbian orc assassin whom I love), who grew up in a cult, indoctrinated as a child sacrifice to a god. But on the day she was meant to die, she instead chose to follow a powerful wizard and train to become his loyal servant and sword. Aside from being an excellent fantasy, it’s also a close look at the hard path of unlearning indoctrination and the search for love and validation where you’ll never find it, and learning to live for yourself. Multiple queer leads.

The Jasmine Throne (The Burning Kingdoms series) by Tasha Suri

A princess held captive by her own brother, who wants to see her dead, tries to trick a servant into helping her escape, but with undeniable attraction growing between them and the servant having her own goals of liberation things quickly get complicated, both between them and in the country at large as rebellion and dangerous magic brews. Sapphic romance.

The Priory of the Orange Tree (The Roots of Chaos duology) by Samantha Shannon

Queen Sabran's lineage has protected the country of Inys from dragons for a thousand years, but now the safety of their land is threatened as Sabran is yet to conceive and assassins are closing in. Lady-in-waiting Ead is secretly part of a society of hidden mages, and is using her position to protect her queen. Meanwhile, on the other side of the sea, dragonrider Tané is faced with an impossible choice. The fates of all three are intertwined as they attempt to stop the rise of a great dragon. 800+ page epic fantasy. Sapphic romance.

The Raven and the Reindeer by T. Kingfisher*

Young adult, fairy tale retelling of the Snow Queen. When Gerta's friend Kai is stolen away by the evil Snow Queen, Gerta must depart on a mission to save him. On the way, she encounters, among others, a talking raven and a pretty robber girl who become her allies. Sapphic romance.

The Rise of Kyoshi (Kyoshi duology) by F.C. Yee*

Young adult. Set in the Avatar universe, but aimed at an older audience than the animated series. Though she will one day be one of the most well-known avatars of the land, for now, young Kyoshi is but a humble girl who has yet to find out her true destiny as the bender of all four elements and keeper of balance of her world. When betrayal strikes and a dear friend is lost, Kyoshi goes on the run alongside fiesty firebender Rangi to find out the truth of her destiny and power. Sapphic romance.

Legends & Lattes (Legends & Lattes series) by Travis Baldree

Viv is tired of adventures and bloodshed - now she wants a peaceful life, and decides to go after it by opening a café. But going from warrior to small business owner is easier said than done, especially when Viv's old life comes knocking. Best described as a cozy fantasy, with a largely low-stakes but heartwarming plot and a sapphic romance.

Phoenix Extravagant by Yoon Ha Lee

Gyen Jebi is an artist, but making a living is difficult. When offered a job by the Ministry of Armor to paint the magical sigils that animate their automaton soldiers, they have little choice but to accept. But as Jebi sees the dark depths of the government, especially the shocking source of their magical paint, they must find a way to resist. Perhaps by freeing the Ministry's mighty automaton dragon... Nonbinary main character.

Crier's War by Nina Varela

Young adult. Who says sci-fi has monopoly on robots? In Crier’s War, artificially created automae have defeated and subjugated humans, who live as second class citizens. Young Ayla goes undercover as a servant, meaning to assassinate automae girl and Sovereign’s daughter Crier. This would be easier if the two weren’t quick to develop feelings for each other.

Black Sun (Between Earth and Sky trilogy) by Rebecca Roanhorse

In a pre-columbian inspired world, sea captain Xiala, gifted with an unusual connection to the sea, travels with a mysterious scarred and blind passenger toward a dangerous goal as prophecy heralds the return of a god. Features among others bisexual and nonbinary leads.

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin*

In a world regularly torn apart by natural disasters, a big one finally strikes and society as we know it falls, leaving people floundering to survive in a post apocalyptic world, its secrets and past to be slowly revealed. We follow a mother as she races through this world to find and save her daughter, stolen away by a father who just murdered their son after having discovered a terrible secret of their family. Does feature multiple queer characters and a main polyam relationship, but DO NOT read this expecting happy queer relationships as this series handles many dark subjects (you should still read it though, it's incredibly good).

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan*

Young adult. Kids who can walk between our world and a magical one get recruited into a magical school that trains them to be either fighters or diplomats. Our lead decides that fighting is stupid and that he’s going to peacefully solve every conflict ever, all while being the most delightfully obnoxious little brat possible and getting involved in the most bisexual love triangle imaginable. Very good, funny, and heart-felt coming of age story.

Our Bloody Pearl D.N. Bryn

A siren who’s been held captive by a pirate is freed, but too injured to survive on their own as their tail has become paralyzed. Another pirate captain decides to help them out and has to work to win their trust. Fairly fluffy and light on world-building and plot (though there is a bit of a revenge story in there), with a focus on character and recovery. m/nb romance with an asexual love interest.

A Master of Djinn by P. Djélí Clark

Set in an alternate 1910’s steampunk Cairo, where djinn and other creatures live alongside humans. We get to follow an investigator as she races to catch a criminal using a powerful object to control djinn and stir unrest. Fantastically creative and fresh, and also features a buddy cop dynamic between two female leads as well as a sapphic romance.

Black Water Sister by Zen Cho*

As a toddler, Jessamyn Teoh left Malaysia. Now a young adult, she’s broke, closeted, and moving back. There she’s faced with the ghost of her estranged grandmother, Ah Ma, who was a medium and avatar of the deity the Black Water Sister in life. Now she demands Jess' help in exacting revenge against a gang boss that offended her god. Meanwhile, all Jess wants is to get her life back on track.

Heaven Official's Blessing (Heaven Official's Blessing series) by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

Once, Xie Lian was the beloved crown prince of a kingdom. Then he rose to godhood at a young age, and was expected to take a step back from his land and his people, but in his inability to do so ended up losing everything. Now, eight hundred years later, Xie Lian has ascended to godhood for a third time, forgotten by mortals and the laughing stock of Heaven. Trying to rebuild his reputation, Xie Lian sets off on a mission, and on it encounters an infamous demon king who inspires fear in all of heaven. M/M romance.

Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore*

Young Adult. Jane is invited by an old acquaintance to an extravagant gala in an island mansion, stranding her among the rich and glamorous. But being surrounded by rich people is the least of Jane’s problems: the mansion is housing secrets, some of them tied to Jane’s own family. The mansion offers her five choices, all of them leading her down different paths and different answers. Jane, Unlimited is a choose-your-own adventure story of sorts, featuring five different endings in five different genres, each more off the wall bonkers than the next. It also features a bisexual main character!

Every Heart a Doorway (Wayward Children series) by Seanan McGuire*

A tumblr favorite, the Wayward Children novellas feature a school open to children who have returned from adventures in other realms and now have trouble adapting back to regular life. Some installments are set in our world, others follow children as they have their otherworldly adventures. The main characters vary between books, but are generally pretty diverse with among others asexual, trans, intersexual and sapphic leads. Both funny and dark, it takes a closer look at the trauma many endure growing up different.

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern*

Surreal and fairy tale-esque, The Starless Sea is stories within a story, following graduate student Zachary as he finds a strange book which, in-between other tales, tells a story from his own childhood. Trying to find out how this came to be, Zachary gets involved with a pink-haired woman and a handsome man who are doing their utmost to protect a strange, otherworldly library available only through magical doors. It’s a book hard to put in words, but which I once described as “romantic without being a romance while stile having a love story at it’s core”, and which can be summed up only as “an Experience”. It’s also quite gay!

Not Even Bones by Rebecca Schaeffer*

Young adult. Nita isn’t a murderer - technically. She just dissects the bodies of supernatural beings her mother brings home and sells for parts on the black market. But when her mother brings home a still living victim, Nita has had enough and frees him. As it turns out, no good deed goes unpunished as Nita is betrayed, her own nature as a supernatural entity outed as she’s kidnapped and placed behind bars. Now she must find a way to escape before she's sold for parts. Features two aroace leads and a queerplatonic relationship, though it isn’t made textual until book 3 and briefly masquerades as a romance, which is pretty hilarious.

The Last Sun (The Tarot Sequence) by K.D. Edwards

Urban fantasy. Rune Saint John is the only survivor of the massacre against the Sun Court years prior. Now he’s been hired by Lady Judgement to find her missing son, Addam. Alongside his companion and bodyguard Brand, Rune goes on to question Addam's family and business contacts all over New Atlantis, island city and home of the Atlanteans after their original home was destroyed by ordinary humans. But the more he digs, the more Rune finds clues that Addam's absence is connected to Rune's own tragic past. M/M romance.

Gossamer Axe by Gael Baudino

Centuries ago in Ireland, Chairiste Ní Cummen was trained in the secrets of music and magic. But her pride was her downfall, trapping her and her lover in the land of the Sidh. Only Chairiste escaped, hoping to one day win her lover's freedom in musical battle with the fairy that holds her captive. Now she is Christa Cruitare, harp teacher in the modern world and all but resigned to her loss. Until she comes across a great new music: heavy metal. Taking one last chance to win her lover's freedom, Christa sets out to gather other skilled musicians and bring them with her in her final battle. Sapphic romance.

Bonus AKA I haven't read these yet but they seem really cool

Pantomime (Micah Grey trilogy) by Laura Lam

Young adult. On the surface, Gene's life is that of a noble debutante. In reality, she has secrets: she's both male and female, and has magical abilities that hasn’t been seen in an age. In the face of a betrayal from her parents, Gene runs away from home, dresses up as a boy, and joins a circus. Intersex main character.

Ghost Walk by Kay Solo

Maaya Sahni can see ghosts, and does her best to survive in her small isolated town by keeping her head down. But when an entire street full of people is spirited away by faceless specters that scares even ghosts, Maaya must find a way to stop the specters. Lesbian main character.

Swordspoint (Riverside series) by Ellen Kushner

In Riverside, duels are the way to settle disputes, and Richard St. Vier is the undisputed master of the sword - at least until a death is met not with awe but with outrage. M/M romance.

[phlurrii]

It’s finally time to introduce the secondary project I’ve been working on >;Dc

I’ve had this queued for sometime in June, did not check when, so hello on [random date in june] ;D

I’m also here to explain how I’ll be posting this stuff going forward! Everything will be posted here, on my main account before being reblogged over to Soul’s Anchor a side bog with the place holder title. Unless it deals with more adult/suggestive content or heavier topics, of which will be exclusively posted to Soul’s Anchor side blog. As I don’t want certain themes alongside AM! I’ll also be referring to this series as Anchor for short! I will encourage any and all Questions, Mentions, and Thoughts to be directed there for those interested and those who are not, dw! You’ll only see the initial posts here, no asks or follows up, but this is still my art account and I shall enjoy it as I please ;3

Brief Synopsis about the Story:

A queer love story following a cursed pirate and a cult refugee implanted with a god’s eye as they combat the reality of living in a world which was created solely to feed the gods that govern it. All whilst a sapphic couple attempt to help guide the pair along a path to to a better future, one that’s validity comes into question. A dark fantasy story that aims to represent the disabled community, the LGBTQIA+, and SA survivors written by fellow members of these communities.

Also brief disclaimer, I, Phlurrii, am simply an ally to the disabled community, my partner in crime writing alongside me, ArtJunco on Instagram, is our resident community member ;]

Anyways onto the meat of this!

Below is a collection of some, emphasis on some, of the concept art and processes I went through to develop and create one of the two main characters, Lumae.

Here are some of the earliest ideas, the basic thoughts I had in my brain when developing this goober after a 3 hours pacing in my kitchen at 1 am when that inspiration struck. His hair was the HARDEST bit for me to figure out. Which sucked as usually the hair is one of the first things I figure out because of how much I love it, so it was Agony while brainstorming that part.

I also briefly considered a goatee, however it was so cruelly shot down by my dear friend. So in stead we compromised that he may get one later down the line story wise… and see how we feel then. However, upon finally figuring out his hair I was bloody elated, still has some tweaks now and then, but the base is there.

As for this next concept, this was actually the FIRST thing created for Lumae and what started everything else about his character/design! His eyes! They are still my favourite but about him and something I adore whole heartedly! They are the core of his character ;3c

These next few are early refs and mock ups of his full design, testing our colours, experimenting with shading, getting used to drawing humans again, and general concepts I had for him as a character! Also a sneak peak at Ayric, our second main goober for this story! Who was lovingly designed and created by ArtJunco!

And finally his most recent WIP ref! The only thing currently bothering me about his design is the colour for his boot covers, I have no idea what to do with them so I’d you have suggestion or ideas, sincerely, feel free to shoot an ask to the Anchor blog! I’d genuinely love outside opinions!

As for the main curiosity of why I’m doing this, for those that missed the last post, I’ll give a brief explanation below ;3

To help with burnout so I can hop between fixations, help to avoid losing interest in AM in the future!

Keep up practicing humans and critters alike.

To take a break from story telling to do story building! Give the telling part of my brain a break, while still making cool stuff ;]

To have a more interactive blog with ya’ll! One where I’ll likely be asking advice and discussing a lot more hypotheticals, doodling asks, and general audience interaction given I am not bound by any updates! Purely just “ooo… shiny-“ and anyone is welcome to join me ;D

Last thing I request is to please read Anchor’s blog bio/description before you follow, as this story will deal with subjects not suited for all audiences posted/discussed exclusively on that blog.

Anywho, that’s all for now folks, hope you enjoyed this brief intermission to kickoff the second project being public!

[blissfullyecho]

more harsh truths about life that will prob hurt your feelings and get me cancelled lol

1. scripting, visualizing, using crystals, affirming, etc. all don’t work in the real world. do the work. we’re not anime characters or superheroes— using your “brain powers” while you sit there doing nothing to get what you want is a delusion. script, visualize, do whatever you wanna do but thinking that’s the secret sauce to what is gonna solve all your problems is insanity

2. no one is responsible for your triggers. getting mad at someone because they forgot to put “tw” in the title next to the LITERAL EXACT TOPIC that they’re going to discuss is your own fault that you read it. you knew what it was gonna be about. if you know you’ll be triggered, move on. getting mad at people for talking about things that they had no idea you’re having a hard time with is no one’s fault either. you’re never captive to stay somewhere. if it’s triggering, you make the decision and the choice to move on and get away.

3. attractive people have the advantage of making anything look cool. for example (and no offense because my brother loves this stuff) but if you like anime, a lot of people think it’s weird. but if you’re an attractive person that likes anime, then it becomes cool because an attractive person likes it. looks = status and anyone with status could make anything look cool and be a trend.

4. girls, it’s better not having hairy legs and armpits. sorry but someone had to say it and i’ll be that person. you’re not creating a movement, you’re not proving anything to anyone. everyone grows hair, we get it. but if your body hair makes a statement and expresses yourself, then maybe you need to develop a personality.

5. speaking of personality; some of you are too nice. the nice guy finishes last. always. they seek validation, temporary satisfaction, and it reeks desperation. being too nice makes you look weak and a target to manipulation and weirdness.

6. models, actors/actresses, singers, anyone in the public eye are MEANT to look good and MEANT to look like a fantasy/dream. these people are not meant to be role models and they didn’t sign up to be role models. they were good at their craft and all of you as regular everyday people forced them to be role models because they had a public image. these people are contracted to always look good, set trends, and stay relevant in the media. then you guys started pressing for “inclusivity” and ruined brands like victoria’s secret, hollister, abercrombie, etc. because it got your feelings hurt. those brands sell stories and fantasies. those models sold those brands. STOP TRYING TO MAKE HIGH STATUS PEOPLE INTO EVERYDAY PEOPLE. work on yourself if it bothers you. it’s show biz, baby.

7. if you want anything in life fast, then you either have to have money, good looks, or great manipulation/bribery/communication/people skills. being skilled is a good thing, but don’t expect results overnight like you would if you had money, looks, or people skills. again, this is if you want something FAST.

8. listening to subliminals is a waste of time. wanna change your subconscious mind? get your mind used to living and acting the way you wanna be. do that for 3-6 months and boom, you’re a new person. *high five*

9. it’s cool to gatekeep. why are we telling everyone our beauty secrets and where we bought our clothes? i’m not trying to have anyoneeeeee have anything i have because when people catch on to something, it becomes a trend, then it becomes basic. so no, i’m not telling you what perfume i’m wearing. “i forgot” or “it was a gift”. let me be me.

10. ladies, men want to do things for you. no, that doesn’t mean you don’t have the capability to do it yourself. stop with the equality mess because a man wanted to hold the door open for you. JUST BECAUSE A MAN OFFERS TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU, DOES NOT MEAN YOU LACK THE MENTAL OR PHYSICAL CAPABILITY TO DO SO.

[the-tragic-heroine]

Haitani Brothers Analysis

While the Haitani brothers didn’t get as much screen time in the series as many fans would probably like, we did get a small glimpse into their characters during the main events of the manga and some extra content in the character books—enough for me to reasonably speculate on some things. As always, these are just my own thoughts, and you are more than welcome to disagree with me.

**THIS ANALYSIS CONTAINS SPOILERS!**

Neither Ran nor Rindou actually enjoy fighting that much.

In the main series, they don’t have an actual clear reason for participating in the gang wars. They even state stuff like “well, I guess we have to” before entering the battlefield

Whenever they are beat up they very readily accept defeat.

They fight very unfairly, with Ran using his baton to beat up opponents while Rindou holds them still and breaks their bones. Once they are separated, they lose quite easily. If they really enjoyed fighting, they likely a) wouldn’t be using these underhanded methods at all and b) wouldn’t be this bad on their own.

Both of Rindou’s extra stories in the character book involve being unwillingly dragged into some kind of conflict.

EDIT: I was mulling over this point and I think I mean to say that while they do like fighting, because it’s clear they do have fun beating people up, they don’t CARE about fighting the way some of the others do. Eg, those who fight to protect, those who fight for a cause, those who fight because they have a passion for it, etc.

This is pretty much where the similarities between the two brothers end, though. So, if they don’t care about fighting, why are they even delinquents in the first place? What do they care about?

Ran cares about maintaining an image.

Rindou talks about being annoyed about Ran trying to strike ‘cool’ poses when fighting

His special skill is “presenting himself in a favorable light”

In CB3, his profile states that Ran wants to be a celebrity and he enjoys getting his hair done at beauty salons

In fact, he tends to talk out of his ass, shown in his conversation with the hairdresser and…what he says about music here…

The two living in Roppongi makes even more sense, as it is a very high-end district

However, with that being said, there are a few additional pieces of information that may strike people as rather odd, as they seem a bit contradictory to what we are led to believe Ran is like.

His hobby is sleeping, he likes staying in bed, and his special talent is sleeping 24 hours in one go

In Rindou’s story, Ran was so pissed off at getting woken up because of his party that he got violent

What this reminds me of are my interactions with people who tell me that their hobbies involve clubbing and drinking, only for them to admit later on that they don’t actually like doing those things at all and would much rather be at home. Instead, these hobbies are simply a means to make up for something that they are lacking: something like, human connection, self-esteem, etc. In Ran’s case, delinquency—because what it got him was an army of followers in Roppongi that he and his brother can command. In the delinquent world, he is that celebrity he wants to be.

When Kakucho invited them to join Tenjiku, their conditions to accepting were that their uniforms be a different colour than the rest. Izana beat him up because that made them stand out more.

We don’t get much more info beyond this, but I think there’s some valid reason to believe that, like many who choose to surround themselves with material possessions, he is merely putting up a front to cover up a deep-rooted insecurity. Perhaps one that developed in an environment full of wealthy elites that is difficult to stand out in.

Rindou cares about his brother.

This might take a little more explanation because sibling love-hate relationships are complicated, and like Ran a lot of Rindou’s character traits are contradictory, but there are a few things that make this evident both in the series and the character book.

Rindou’s interests are DJing and martial arts, the latter of which is quite known for promoting stuff like peace, respect, etc unlike Rindou’s delinquent tendencies

Again, both of his stories involve being dragged into conflict he didn’t wanna be a part of. Kakucho once invited him to train, which Rindou thought was weight lifting, only to be brought to a Yakuza hideout. Rindou vowed never to hang out with him again.

He is actually ranked 2nd best boyfriend and 2nd least vicious in Tenjiku, which would strike people as odd considering his special technique in combat is literally breaking bones

All of this should make Rindou a pretty chill guy but he isn’t. Instead he follows his brother into gang wars, gets sent to prison, and in the Bonten timeline gets involved in criminal activity. While we don’t see him or his brother really doing anything during this arc, I think that itself (just standing and watching) tells us enough about how they feel being a part of it. So, we get into the next key part of Rindou’s character book profile.

Rindou’s most feared/disliked person is Ran

In his second story, he locks himself in the bathroom to avoid Ran’s angry outburst and has to buy him Mont Blanc to appease him

I don’t think Ran is abusive in the way Taiju was toward the Shiba household, because in their interactions it’s quite clear that they do care about one another and are comfortable enough together. They always stick together throughout alliance changes, their signature technique involves teamwork, and are in the same business owning a club in the final ending.

Instead, I think it’s clear that Ran was a pretty terrible influence to Rindou. I think he was pulled into this pretty early on due to circumstance and was unable to get out because he didn’t know much else—again, because of Ran’s influence as the older brother. Otherwise, I don’t think he’d have chosen this path voluntarily.

There isn’t much else for me to use to make more speculations on Rindou’s character, but I think based on all that info he really just seems like a big himbo on the inside. All the dude wants is to make music and get buff. Also, probably a tsundere, because it seems that he calls Ran “aniki” in public but “niichan” in private. So cute!!

Anyways, I think that’s it for now! I typed this all up in one sitting so I hope I didn’t miss anything. If you have any input do feel free to comment as I love these boys and am always looking to read more headcanons and scenarios with them!

[alliluyevas]

hello American Girl and/or Mormon history aficionados!! After some of the questions you guys have been sending me/my own personal ruminations, I want to share some of the ideas I have for if AG was going to create a historical Mormon character. (Though, for reasons outlined when I responded to the previous ask about a hypothetical Mormon pioneer doll, I highly doubt AG would go that route and I think there are plenty of valid reasons why they possibly shouldn't.)

That being said, if they did, here are some ideas I think would be interesting or cool. First of all, time frame. I answered the previous anon's question with the assumption that "Mormon pioneer" meant an early Utah settler with a storyline set in the late 1840s or early 1850s. I would actually prefer a slightly later era, and I think that might avoid some of the concerns about two much overlap with Kirsten's era. It also would help fill the forty-year gap between Addy and Samantha's storylines. In terms of narrative gaps, I also think there's a bit of a gap with not having a character whose story is set "out west" in the 19th century. (Kirsten's storyline addresses some issues of westward expansion, but she's really Midwestern, and while Josefina is in a modern-day Southwestern state, in her era that region is not under US political control, which makes for a slightly different narrative.)

Part of the reason why I think not having anything between 1864 and 1904 is such a misstep is that there was so much rapid technological development, population growth, and political/social change during those decades and I feel like we get to see the very beginning of a process with Addy and then we pick up with Samantha when so much change has already happened. I'd like to see a bit of a mid-point, and I think a Western state would be a really interesting place to do that. (Side note: if I wasn't a Mormon history nerd, and if AG didn't already have TWO different 20th century historical characters who live in California, I would say California would be the best setting for an "Old West" character. Utah has a really fascinating history in its own right but is in many ways not particularly representative of the West as a region because the population that settled it was so unique.)

One time period that would be interesting for a Mormon Historical Doll would be the late 1860s. This is still pretty close to Addy's time, but the character would be very regionally and demographically different, of course. A really big element of the technological development in the late 19th century was the expansion of railroad networks, including the Transcontinental Railroad, which was completed in Utah in 1869. It might be really cool to do something with this! Utah Mormons approached the new railroad with both excitement about economic opportunity and some sense of threat to their way of life, which had been shaped by previous geographic isolation from mainstream (and non-Mormon) America. How would a child approach this?

I also think a doll set in the 1880s would be really interesting. This was a really fraught time in Utah history, and the most intense period of anti-polygamy legislation and prosecutions (you'll sometimes hear people call this the Mormon Underground era because so many prominent men went "on the underground" to avoid arrest). In terms of technological and social changes, the advent of the railroad did change Utah society a lot, in part because it enabled a lot more non-Mormons to move to Utah. While still a majority especially outside of Salt Lake City, Mormons were no longer an overwhelming majority and also no longer were able to completely control state politics (partially because the new residents were voting as well, but also because there was a long-term effort by the federal government to install appointed officials to try and break the political power of the church.) So you are looking at a more religiously diverse Utah, a shifting balance of power, and a lot of federal policies viewed by Mormons as oppressive, and corresponding political backlash.

(Note: I would find an 1880s era Mormon doll absolutely fascinating, but it would be likely way more controversial even than the earlier pioneer doll would be, because modern LDS people would be way less enthusiastic about it. The pioneer doll would be from a period of their history that is really culturally glorified whereas a doll from the 1880s would be addressing a period of their history that most everyday non-historian LDS folks often find deeply uncomfortable. The 1860s doll might sort of split the difference, because conflict with the federal government over polygamy would be a more central issue than for an earlier doll but less than for an 1880s doll).

I'm just going to post this for now, but I'll reblog with some further ideas about possible storyline/theme/character choices they could make. I'm trying to clean my apartment lol.

[self-loving-vampire]

That medium post is highlighting just how fucked people get when they treat gender norms like a Serious Thing you must abide by. Like, what?

1- "A weak thing really wanting to be strong is pathetic" is the kind of thing that is like... who is even saying that?

The virtue of wanting to become stronger (be it for altruistic reasons or even just to master your art) no matter how pitiful your starting position is seems to be something that repeatedly comes up in fiction.

It's not just shonen training arcs to help you overcome someone who outclasses you in every way but also things the RPG journey of starting out at level 1 barely knowing your left from your right and becoming strong enough to kill god at the end.

In fact, this is what makes games like Gothic and Dark Souls so appealing. You start out so weak that everything obliterates you in one or two hits and you're pretty much just another doomed soul in a horrible situation, but if you persevere you can overcome anything.

Maybe stop thinking of strength or weakness as something inherent to gender rather than something you need to cultivate through training and experience? Sure there's geniuses like me who get a huge experience multiplier but that's not gendered either.

2- Boys 100% do cry. They often get beat up for it because they're not supposed to cry, but they still do it regardless of how things are "supposed" to be. Because humans are humans and extremely few people naturally fit the platonic ideal of what their gender is supposed to be at all times. Crying is not exclusively a "girl" thing, and it has nothing to do with weakness, bravery, or intelligence.

See, the thing is that the people who actually get good at video games are usually people who enjoy playing video games and do it on their own rather than just when they pick up something they have never done before in an effort to get validation while being anxious the whole time because they arbitrarily decided that video games are "boy things".

You're not just missing out on the confidence buff but also jumping into a mid-game area before finishing the tutorial. What did you think was going to happen?

"Fantasy story where a woman is doing cool stuff" is like... not even abnormal if you ever engage with anything outside the absolute most mainstream of media. Maybe it won't feel so shameful if you realize it has been done extremely well countless times before.

Also gendering romance seems like a mistake as well. Like, from the exact same story as the above image:

Yeah, it turns out stories can have both romance and women doing cool things and mature, non-sexist men will not necessarily hate either of those aspects.

I'm one of those people who got physical abuse to transition to mainly just threats by fighting back, and you know what that was actually like?

I never was even remotely as strong as big as my father was. I'm 170 cm and grew up malnourished (about 100-110 lbs before I left). I eventually also developed a major disability. Meanwhile he was huge and has literally killed people before. Most of those teens who fought back against their abusive dads? They probably were still physically weaker than said dads too.

But none of that matters, because you don't need to actually win, you just need to show your will to fight. You need to make it clear that there's going to be serious costs if they are violent towards you, and even children who haven't gone through puberty at all are capable of doing that if they give zero fucks.

Even an unarmed 10-year-old who was truly willing to do so is capable of causing lasting harm to an adult. I don't blame anyone for not trying something like that themselves since most people don't want to harm their parents and are averse to pain, but it's definitely dumb to make it into a gender thing that is just impossible without a specific type of puberty.

Also I should note that in a lot of cases this doesn't make the abuse stop entirely. It didn't in my case.

This is literally just applying that one comic to yourself.

Hope you're sitting down for the next bit:

Playing cool video games is the modern day equivalent of fighting war??? How does that even occur to you? Video games are literally entertainment. More like reading books or playing sports than killing people for real.

Also like, war still exists? That's kind of a big thing that is going on right now. War exists and people are fighting it. If this person grew up in the US then their country has been at war in some capacity for the vast majority of its existence. The modern day equivalent of war is war, and war is not actually cool or respectable like gaming is.

Putting up a bright billboard that reads "You know you don't have to be like that just because of your gender, right?"

Like, who cares if the other women you know personally only improve their skills for the sake of dress-up and horses? Do you not have things you want to do? I don't know what to say other than that this reads like NPC behavior.

Tip: You can be a man if you want, but also that probably won't give you instant competence or respect like you think it will. You're still going to have to Get Good at whatever it is you want to do.

So the kind of person who tries to fake an interest in "boy things" in a completely half-assed and insecure way actually exists and has terminal gender essentialist brain. I see.

I do think that's kind of shameful not just for the essentialist garbage but also in the sense that it reads like someone who is too invested in trying to insincerely impress others at the cost of their own individuality and pursuits.

If you're going to be taking right-wing types seriously then maybe you should at least notice that they also don't seem to respect tradwife types at all. They want to own them, sure, but they don't respect them. Attraction is not respect. Those people just don't respect women by default for reasons that are patently bullshit.

This is, from multiple angles, a personal problem. Some of us actually do like video games rather than using them as a way to get respect.

In fact, I'd hate it if people made a big deal out of the fact that I'm a woman who likes video games. That is and should be just a normal, unremarkable thing.

You know, maybe that whole thing where you see yourself as an eternal, inherent weakling not just physically but technically is unhealthy and holding you back from even considering that you could ever be good at anything besides child-rearing and clothes.

Good thing that she rarely feels like this anymore as an adult who is (according to the comments) no longer in a religious cult but this is like... putting my sexist father's thoughts in a self-loathing woman, basically?

[robotlesbianjavert]

WE'RE WINNING SO FAR........ I'M SCARED FOR THE NEXT SUMMARY PARAGRAPH THOUGH......

okay okay. leaks done. my rough thoughts ahead of sleeping on it/receiving full translations. i should update these when we do get something more proper though.

the bad

deku didn't kill himself out of respect for spinner's grief

deku getting to be cool and composed. he doesn't deserve it, he should be killing himself.

spinner blaming himself for not saving shigaraki sooner while he was possessed with afo like babe that is NOT your fault. i already saw one take being like wow it's so great that a character is finally taking accountability which is insane to me because WHY of all possible characters is it spinner and not a single person in power. what could spinner possibly do at the juncture he was in. go to the heroes? who killed twice and actively wanted shigaraki dead? take shigaraki and flee with his non-existent resources and inability to get shigaraki un-possessed? like fuck off. point that demand from accountability from characters it actually matters from.

the shoji mention. why is spinner calling him octopus. is it to continue to paint him in a villainous manner. why is he wishing him luck. why is spinner throwing a microaggression at shoji, is this to remind us readers that ooooohhhh spinner is suuuuch a hypocritical baddie or is it him being like, bitterly ironic. recognizing that shoji is trying Something but not really believing that Something will work. it's tone-deaf but so is everything about shoji. i just don't want spinner dragged through the mud on that.

like the balance of plotlines with "heteromorph discrimination" and "devotion to shigaraki" was always going to be dubious since MVA, i remember wondering where horikoshi would lean ahead of the hospital raid mini-arc, and obviously that Sucked Like Hell when it came to capitalizing on any meaningful commentary about discrimination but was awesome for the devotion bits. so seeing that shoji reference here reminds me of that imbalance. putting the emphasis on the devotion, which is ultimately the catalyst of spinner's development, but neglecting and worsening the discrimination bits, which formed the background of why spinner ends up so devoted to shigaraki in the first place. fuck it, it sucks.

deku doesn't deserve to remember shigaraki forever, because he should be killing himself, on page in front of a live studio audience. when he says he'll never forget shigaraki for the rest of his life it's because the end of his life will be five minutes from now.

why are support items enough to wake pops from a coma NOW. why are we skirting around the fact that deku was holding an old man's fate hostage in order to force a victim into being interacted with by her abuser because he's being emotionally blackmailed into it.

why are we ending on a gag. spinner is in widow mode but bakugou and todoroki are now forced to contend with fangirls. whatever.

deku should kill himself. because he hasn't deserved a single damn thing in this chapter so far besides admitting he's a murderer.

seriously there is no reality where spinner should be holding himself accountable for failing shigaraki. what the fuck was he supposed to do. refuse afo and get MURDERED? get packed with MORE quirks so that brain death was inevitable? approach a hero and get MURDERED? fuck off either the story needs to provide a tangible path for spinner to have taken that he denied or admit that he was powerless.

THE GOOD which i know. is shocking from me at this point.

so far i feel like spinner's outbursts and emotions are more or less validated and humanized by the narrative - throughout the leaks, i felt like he was held up as the positive counterpart that the readers are supposed to emphasize with over the citizens - who i'm sure we're supposed to see as Valid, but ultimately unknowing of the full story, inconsiderate and unchanged.

i can legally call deku a murderer! he admitted it! no one can stop me now!

while i can imagine a better manga where spinner as a creative is properly sprinkled in beyond the meaning behind his name, me and @codenamesazanka have tossed around the idea of spinner as a storyteller enough that i feel validated that spinner wants to tell shigaraki's story, and is the figure that ultimately humanizes shigaraki the most. i have some concern about attempts to go in on an agle where spinner is someone who only recognizes the "destructive" parts of shigaraki, but in the wider context like yeah. it should be spinner who tells shigaraki's story, and if nothing else is best positioned to portray him as a full person.

it's nice that pops isn't ditching chisaki after everything. i would very much like to know more about like, if pops is just not allowed to retake custody of eri or if he's choosing not to pursue it, if he has any deeper thoughts there. but it's nice that he's not giving up on the kid he raised into a life of crime.

spinner is gay. sure the chapter didn't say this outright but like he's gay and we know this. we can intuit.

sooooo funny after people complaining that shigaraki didn't leave last words for any other league members that this chapter goes out of it's way to specify that Yeah His Final Words Were For Spinner And For Spinner Alone. i've been bitter about shigaraki not getting to properly interact with the entire league since 2019 but this is funny why did the manga wait so long to confirm that shigaraki also cared about spinner instead of it being entirely one-sided.

[insertdisc5]

Devlog #16: Answers and Questions

Hello everyone! Welcome to this month’s devlog!

If you just stumbled upon this, I am Adrienne, also known as insertdisc5! I’m the developer, writer, artist, main programmer, etc of the game. The game being In Stars and Time, a timeloop RPG, which is also the next and final game in the START AGAIN series, following START AGAIN: a prologue (available here!).  You can find out more about In Stars and Time here!!! 

LET’S GET TO IT. This month is Q&A: Cohost edition!

“A Q&A again?” Heheh well I don’t have anything to talk about this month ✨ We’re working hard on finalizing the localization! And on porting to consoles! And on secret stuff! You know, the usual!!! Get excited!!! So, Q&A again 💖 And see, I asked questions for Q&As on Twitter. On Tumblr. On Discord. But some new social media platforms have entered the fray. SO.

Welcome to Q&A: Cohost edition. (Follow me on cohost and/or read this post I wrote about why I think cohost is neat teehee) (and follow me on bluesky if you want. I like it way less though. Sorry bluesky)

@ItsMeLilyV asks:

One of the bits of advice that gets tossed around by indie devs is to avoid making RPGs, especially for your first few games, because they tend to be large in scope, difficult to prototype, and easy to underestimate.

Was this ever a fear for you in making START AGAIN, or In Stars and Time? Did you take any special precaution to keep these games within a scope you could handle, and did you learn tricks from START AGAIN that carried over to ISAT when in came to keeping things manageable? Thank you!! ✨

I had no idea that was a piece of advice given, but yep, that makes a lot of sense! Since I didn’t know, I went in blissfully aware, teehee.

I will say that I am familiar with working on big projects from working on comics, and with seeing big webcomic artists always mention to never start with your magnum opus… And I could tell ISAT had the potential to be way bigger than I imagined, which is why I decided to start with creating the prologue to get used to RPGMaker as well as making games. Kind of a pilot of sorts!

Again, thanks to comics, I know to keep my scope pretty small, because even if you keep it small it WILL balloon into something way bigger than you thought. Just for the prologue, I imagined it’d be a 20mn game, and it’s easily a 2-3h one! Keep your scope small!!!

As for tricks, when I catch myself thinking “wow what if I added this cool thing”, I try to always keep in mind those two things: 1. How long will it take to implement (including bug testing), and 2. Does it add something important to the game. I know we always want to add a fishing game, or a fun minigame, but do you Need It. Does it add something substantial to the story, to the Themes. Or are you just adding it because you like fishing games. Which is a valid reason, but also, maybe just make a fishing game instead. You are not the Yakuza series!!!! You are a small indie gamedev!!!! Think about you in 4 months who has to fix all the fishing game bugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@stem asks:

how is it to have a piece of art that's basically done (as far as i understand) that you can't share yet? like how do you personally bide the time until it's finally ready to release, or is it not really a challenge to wait? :0c

It’s so weird!!! The game has been done for so long!!! I’m very glad I asked some friends to playtest the game, so I could at least get some feedback before the game is out… In some ways it feels like the game will be done twice: once back when I finished making the game, and once when the game actually comes out. It’s just a very strange experience. Sometimes people tell me they’re excited to find out more about this story beat, or about this character, and a part of me is like… Wait, haven't you played the game? Oh, yeah, it’s not actually out. Guess you’ll find out later.

EDIT: My god. I just checked on my private devlog for when I completed the Alpha of ISAT. It was in August of last year (I lay down on the floor and look at the ceiling) (I still had to finish all the illustrations so really the game was Done Donezo in October but still…)

anon asked:

What role did Armor Games play in creating the final product?

SO MANY THINGS. Here are some of them: support when it comes to porting/marketing/social media/localization, feedback on the game and how to make it better, community guidance, testing support, QA/internal testing… The game couldn’t be the way it is without them.

For more small details, I have a weekly meeting with my producer, Dora! We talk about the game and how everything is going. A couple months back, I also was checking in with the internal QA team fairly often to fix any remaining bugs. They also helped me find ISAT’s additional programmer, Isabella, and she is a godsend because coding is hard. They also take care of communicating with press, finding more opportunities to showcase the game in conventions, talking with the localization/porting teams… I am probably forgetting a thousand little things they did to help out!!! THEY’RE SO GOOD OK

Anon asked:

So obviously the skills/spells/what have you are based off of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Did you design each "type" to be like a certain style? Rock being heavy damage and defense buffs, scissors being speed and quick attacks, like that?

Absolutely! I just went with the obvious. Rock is physical damage, defense focused, Scissors is swords, attack focused, and Paper is magic, mind focused. It was fun to develop a spell system around those! I’m excited for people to find out more about Craft…

@nickshutter asks:

I really loved START AGAIN (streamed it for a small handful of friends) and was super happy to hear about a follow-up! The cast is so much fun and their personalities are really well-balanced—did any of the characters change pretty drastically from their initial conception during development of the game?

I’m so glad you streamed it with friends… I hope you had a good fun time…

And for sure! Isabeau and Mirabelle were pretty set from the get go (himbo and shy wallflower), but Odile started as more of a gentle teacher type, even if I very quickly went the snarky old lady route. Siffrin and Bonnie were harder to pin down– I wasn’t sure how to portray Siffrin’s despair in the prologue, and started showing them more overtly depressed, but I thought it’d be Very Yummy to have them show a happy facade to their friends. And then, for ISAT, I had to figure out what a non-depressed Siffrin would be like, for the first couple acts of the game before the despair sets in. As for Bonnie, I had a lot of trouble figuring out what they’d be like, what kind of kid they were, what their relationship with everyone else would be like, and then I thought about what their past would be like and then their characterization was set in stone. Sometimes you need to figure out One Thing to unlock a character’s brain. I’m very excited for everyone to find out more about each character in ISAT!

@SuperBiasedGary asks:

What games (or other media) lit a fire under you to create your own?

It could be stuff you liked so much it inspired, something you found frustrating because you felt an itch to do it differently, or something that made you realise humans make things and you could be one of them.

I found a lot of indie games inspiring, but I think Umineko might’ve been the one that made me go… Oh, anyone can just make a massive video game narrative. And you can make it very simple, with kinda goofy sprites, and still manage to make an incredibly touching story!

As for frustrating games that lit a fire under me, I think I’d say in general, I found issue with the classic trope of the “main character helps people and doesn’t get anything back”. What often happens in some games is that you help NPCs with their problems, sometimes helping them with very intense, complicated problems! For a very long time! And, in exchange, you get… A cool item? A nice new skill? And that’s it?

I know this might be complicated to implement on a narrative perspective, but I remember playing Persona 5, and your character just went through a very harrowing experience (like, oh, being INTERROGATED AND TORTURED BY THE POLICE) and you help your friends during social links, and they go “thanks for your help! Bye~” like WHAT ABOUT ME. WHAT ABOUT MY PROBLEMS. CAN YOU GIVE ME A HUG

So on a certain level, I wanted a game where instead of the characters around you having problems, the main character also has problems. And is subconsciously screaming “CAN YOU PLEASE NOTICE I HAVE PROBLEMS AND GIVE ME A HUG.” And hopefully, the characters notice. Winks

Hm. I do want to say I wrote most of the prologue/ISAT during the pandemic, and I felt very lonely and not supported. But then guess what. I told my friends about how I felt. And most of them told me they had no idea, and vowed to support me more. And now I’m closer to them. So the moral of this answer is, yeah, it’d be nice if people noticed, but also, you need to tell people when you’re feeling bad. LOOKS AT SIFFRIN

Anon asked:

Is there a song you listen to in order to put yourself in the sasasa/ISAT mindset?

I have a whole playlist baybee. Before you ask: there aren’t any hidden meanings behind those song choices. It’s about the Mood, and also my personal tastes in music I listen to when I need to concentrate. I like songs that go WUB WUB

 In no particular order, here are five random songs I played on repeat when making the prologue:

Future Club (Arcade Version) by Perturbator (in bold because this was THE song I listened to on repeat. I believe I gave it to Lindar for inspiration lol)

Arcades by C2C

Wake Me Up by Para One

The First Wish by DROELOE

Les Enfants du Paradis by World’s End Girlfriend

And here are five random songs I played on repeat for In Stars and Time:

Down by Chloe x Halle

Nonsense Bungaku by Eve

Non-Breathe Oblige by PinocchioP

Gentle Heart by Jamie Paige

Ready For The Floor by Hot Chip

It’s interesting, the songs I listened to for the prologue are generally more heavy and frenetic, while the ones for ISAT are more hopeful… I made sure to listen to more lively songs for ISAT, since that’s the feeling I wanted to give off…

That’s all the questions I have! In other, non related ISAT news, I have started a new project and having a lot of fun. It’s a visual novel this time. I’m hoping to get some screenshots ready in the next few months, but also I’m taking it easy on this one. If it takes years with many breaks in between to get it done, it’s fine. What matters to me right now is the process!

That’s all I have to say for today! Let me know if you have any questions, or if there’s any aspect of the game development struggle you’d like me to talk about! See you next time!!!

AND DON’T FORGET TO WISHLIST THE GAME ON STEAM ALSO IT REALLY HELPS BECAUSE STEAM’S ALGORITHM IS MORE LIKELY TO SHOW OFF GAMES WITH A HIGH AMOUNT OF WISHLISTS THAT’S THE REASON WHY GAME DEVS ALWAYS ASK TO WISHLIST!!! OKAY BYE!!!!

[linkspooky]

To add to my previous post, I think a lot of the current debates raging in the My Hero Academia fandom on whether My Hero Academia has failed because at the end of the story there probably won’t be major changes to the society it takes place in are kind of silly. You see to remove any political message MHA is trying to send out of the equation. I think the big problem with MHA  is much simpler than anyone wants to admit. 

The biggest problem is that... it’s boring. 

It’s boring the same way Marvel Movies are boring. It’s swapped out what are potentially interesting and layered hero characters, for what are essentially characters with costumes and superhero powers and not much else going on for them. Enji and Hawks are the only heroes that have character flaws, and they are largely stagnant characters, Aizawa is introduced to us as a ruthless pragmatist and trickster mentor and he’s now just a generic “I love all my kids” mentor and the only thing he really has done in a hundred chapters is use his power. I don’t think this is a controversial opinion either, a lot of people didn’t like the deku alone arc, a lot of people think the current war arc is less satisfying to read than the previous one and it’s not well paced and it drags. 

You could say the kid heroes are interesting characters with potential for growth, but have you noticed the kid heroes have been consistently sidelined for the adult heroes who are shallower, just because they have stronger more flashy powers. Heck, Enji gets more screentime in the Todoroki family arc than Shoto does and Shoto is supposed to be a main character. I think the hero kids just not getting plot importance they used to get and being sidelined because they’re not as powerful as the adults is not even an MHA exclusive problem, it’s the reason I don’t like the Young Justie Cartoon, it’s a pretty common flaw in adolescent superhero stories. Because why focus on the kids when the adults get all the cool fights against the bigger bads? 

I think the reason people sympathize with the villains so much is not because they find them to have better politics, that’s probably a ex-posto facto applied reasoning (though I think that’s part of it). (Also if people are invested in the story in MHA because of the political issues it expressed, and they are disappointed because we’re not focusing on that, that’s a valid response too because Horikoshi is the one who set these ideas up as themes and then failed t follow through). (Or even if someone wants to critcize the way Hori dragged race as a metaphor into the story, they’re free to be displeased with how HOri handled it but also can still be invested in the story as a whole.) I don’t think the villains are sympathetic because they’re societal reformers, I think they’re just interesting because they have severe personality flaws and character arcs. Enji is the same character from the pro-hero work onward, the exact same character, he even does the exact same action his only true action to atone is to just defeat a big bad in AFO the same way he roasted the Noumu alive. You can’t say Shigaraki is the same character he was at the beginning of his arc, nor Himiko Toga, nor Dabi, nor Spinner, not even Twice and he has a tragic arc. Negative character development is still development, a stagnant character is dull a dynamic character is interesting. Maybe everyone is excited that Toga, and Dabi are at extreme low points in their character arcs, because it’s a change, and it’s compelling to see the extreme emotions they represent. Like, there’s so much discourse today on whether or not the League of Villains is a healthy friend group for one another, and like they’re not, they’re codependent and heavily flawed but that’s what makes them interesting dude. 

Compare that to Class 1-A which is a much bigger group of kids where they are all unconditionally supportive of each other, and a healthy influence on one another, and because there’s very little conflict in that group bond there’s also little development. The only reason Class 1-A is in fact something people are emotoinally invested in is because of the conflict they had earlier in their arcs, Bakugo and Deku is a long running conflict based on an unhealthy friendship and fixation they have on one another, it takes a long time for Bakugo and Todoroki to interact regularly as friends, Deku had to literally beat up Todoroki to get him to accept help or even admit he needed it, Iida would have straight up killed a man without Todoroki and Deku’s interference, and even early on Uraraka felt inferior and more selfish to her friends, and Iida also drew a line that Deku shouldn’t expect unconditional support and teamwork from Iida during the tournament  because they are compettitors competing for number one. 

Conflict creates depth which creates audience engagement. 

The Teen Titans are my favorite superhero team ever, and they are a heavily dysfunctional found family. In fact Cyborg even jokes at one point that their life is a soap opera. They are constantly breaking up and getting back together, and sometimes the group’s decision to collectively either neglect or enable someone has a bad influence on their personality (the second return of trigon arc comes about because no one was paying attention to Raven, heck, Raven is kidnapped by a cult and just left there for months because Donna was a poor leader). These character conflicts are also what makes them interesting as a group dynamic, I don’t think you should break the group apart because they’re not healthy, because there’s a better story to be told in them working through their dysfunction into a healthier group bond. 

I’ve said this a thousand times but I don’t think the hero kids are bad characters, I don’t even dislike them, I want to see more of them. Literally all I talk about on this blog are the villains, but the only fanfic about MHA I’ve ever written and managed to finish, is about Bakugo, Todoroki, Momo and Uraraka and in particular the great potential I see in those characters to be interesting, 

You could write a story where society does not change as a whole, but still circumstances get better for people because the kids are deciding to help people and be kind. Bleach is all about the fact you can’t really change the whole world or save everyone. Ichigo is just trying to protect his hometown and it’s my favorite shonen manga. I also think those stories matter just as much as like revolutionary fiction, because oftentimes people can’t change the world as an individual, and yet the action of helping people still matters, and I think also for a lot of normal people they tend to be paralyzed into not taking any action to help people at all because they believe that it won’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things. 

At the most basic level we haven’t even gotten that yet. We used to have it! I really liked the Overhaul arc, and that entire arc isn’t about societal reform, it was about several people striving to save a young girl because heroes are supposed to save people. We are thoroughly in shonen battle manga punch em ups and fisticuffs. And as a shonen battle manga it’s not even that interesting because the fights suck, they’re not well choreographed, we don’t know what’s happening most of the time, they’re incredibly crowded, there’s no tension because the heroes despite supposedly being outnumbered way outpower the bad guys. We are given the promise that might happen in the future, there is set up for the fact that these kids are going to as their final act in the story save the villains and sympathize them but all we’ve gotten between then and now is a whole bunch of fighting. And once again it doesn’t come from a hatred of the kids but a genuine desire to see more of them, I want to see Shoto’s thoughts and feelings about his brother, I want to see Uraraka try to be a rescue hero and grapple with the fact villains are suffering, I want to see Deku think about what saving Shigaraki actually means. What I don’t want to see is new super powers, kids trying out their super moves, or kids helping the adults in fight. 

And once again this isn’t to criticize people who enjoy MHA or are still emotoinally invested in it. Like I’m sure I’m going to get replies to this post “Why are you even reading MHA if you’re bored by it?” 

Like... because you can engage critically with something even if you’re not entertained by it? There’s more purpose to literature and media then just whether or not ti’s personally enjoyable? I think there’s still a fascinating conversation to be had, in what works in MHA, and what does not work. I like superhero comics, and MHA is a shonen mangaka’s commentary on how they perceive western comics to be. 

But yeah, I think the biggest most fundamental failing of MHA right now is that it’s a real snooze fest. As a comic book story, it doesn’t work because the heroes aren’t fun, it doesn’t seem to have much to say about the heroes besides very generic statements of heroes good. Heroes help people. Deku good. Deku saves. Deku punches. Deku wins. 

So like can everyone collectively agree to just stop yelling at people who are emotionally invested in the villains, or even want to see them win? And like I think people should be allowed to post salt on their own blogs privately or even try to like comment on why they think certain fandom opinions are wrong, but gosh some of these posts guys they’re just like acting like a vast majority of readers are stupid. PEOPLE AREN”T STUPID! In fact I think most people are actually really good at interpreting stories because we are exposed to stories from a young age, and we think and feel in narrative, it’s just a lot of people don’t have the tools to either analyze stories or express what they find engaging. In fact if you think someone is wrong, or even think they have a vastly different take then you’re own, I think you should ask them why they think that way if you’re really interested in a conversation with them. Heck Thy and I usually agree about a lot of things, but sometimes I’ll make a pretty extreme statement, and they go “Oh, I don’t think that, or that’s wrong.” And then I just walk it back and try to explain my reasoning and then even if they’re not convinced to agree with me we just both move on. 

People root for the villains because they’re underdogs. They’re sympathetic and flawed. They are also not stagnant as characters and we spend more time in their head. People aren’t stupid for being emotionally invested in them or reading the story wrong necessarily, so much as MHA has kind of failed to properly establish stakes and tension and make things difficult for the heroes like it should be, that’s just how engagement in a story works. There’s a reason that everyone hates the Yankees, but Cubs fans can stay fans for like a hundred years without a world series victory. I’m not even trying to directly insult anyone, or say that My Hero Academia is bad fiction, or not worth reading, I just wish people would chill a little bit and stop jumping on villain stans for liking the unhealthier or darker aspects of the characters. 

Everyone’s like “I love my murderous meow meows covered in blood” and then you actually say the reason you like Shigaraki is because he’s heavily flawed, and at times a vengeful, hateful little shit and suddenly it’s a problem. Spinner’s a codependent enabler, yeah it’s called having a personality with flaws. He wouldn’t even have a character arc if he wasn’t those things, he’d just be a lizard. The thing that is deliberately written by a flaw, called out in the plot, and he gets punished for. God has punished him for his sins. Right now he’s just lying on the floor nearly brain dead. Also sometimes characters don’t have like, big, operatic flaws. Like as murderous and nasty as Dabi is there’s like a catharsis and power in the way he calls out his abusers. Sometimes people are annoying and needy. I feel like more ficitonal characters should be annoying and needy! Sometimes the most interesting characters, are characters you like would hate to be friends with in real life because they’d just be too high maintennance and put-upon. 

I mean on top of that there are also stories where characters get worse, and only experience negative character development, and there are people who become engaged in those stories because of the dark turns it takes. 

You could say that the fandom downplays the darker aspects of these characters, but like that’s what every fandom does. Heck, don’t Bakugo and Deku have an extremely unhealthy friendship for a long time, that fandom likes to downplay because they want to see them in a much healthier version of their relationship? 

It’s also pretty much harmless. Beyond being frustrated with seeing an out of character version of a character being popularized, it doesn’t really harm people in any way that matters, you don’t have to yell at people for being wrong or even go out of your way to correct them. In fact, I think people having extremely different takes from the story that you do should be celebrated more. Isn’t it interesting two people can read the exact same events and interpret them in wildly different ways? Isn’t it weird, that we all have this collective agreed upon version of like “in character” and “Out of character” and yet people tend to either deviate or stay inside that framework. People also, tend to enjoy different aspects of the story. I don’t think the heroes are interesting at all, but if someone is a diehard hero stan and they like the heroes I’m glad they are having a fun time. 

Fandom is supposed to be a conversation, and like, you shouldn’t go out of your way to correct the people you’re talking with, because it’s a much more fun conversation to ask why people think the way they do and try to understand that then to just tell them they’re wrong and end the conversation there. The reason I have this blog is not because I think I’m right and other people are wrong, I just like to talk to people about my thoughts on the comic books I’m reading, and then other people ask me why I think the things I do and I try to explain it. 

Oh and by the way I’m not talking about people who disagree with me specifically. Like, Class1akids wrote a response to one of my posts. I think they have every right to disagree with me and they were pretty professional about the way they expressed their opinion, I follow them and like their takes because they’re good at stating the reasons behind what they think. I just didn’t interact with it because I was feeling lazy that day and didn’t want to type up a big response. I’m just in general asking people to chill and be nice and have fun. 

[homestuckexamination]

okay, you do homestuck, right? ive got this project idea in the works. basically, its homestuck, but thematically inverted. i havent actually finished homestuck, but I made it a long way in, to around Dirk's Derse Coup. i have some questions if you dont mind.

first of all, ive observed thus far that Homestuck id about discarding yourself. characters gradually lose defining traits and get closer to the platonic ideals of their classpects. strife specibi seem to represent that which ails our heroes. to become a god, you must sacrifice your earthly waking body on a magic bed, succumbing to an endless sleep to live forever within a dream. for my version, I wanted to do the opposite, having characters become more of themselves instead of less, and kill their dreamselves to truly "wake up," but first i need to know if these observations are actually valid if you read the whole story, and more generally, how valid is this idea?

any help would be appreciated, thanks!

Now let me preface this by saying: You can do anything at all. You're not restricted by anything other than your own creativity, and largely speaking, so long as you think it's cool/works, any approach is valid. Similarly, Death of the Authro, yadda yadda, there's all manner of divergent readings on a text. So anything regarding personal projects is really largely up to the taste of the author.

That being said, if you're asking me on my take on this theme in the text of Homestuck, I'd say that while you've definitely noticed one of the Big Themes of Homestuck, I'd argue the way Homestuck goes about it is the inverse- Taking the 'Platonic Ideal' of a character, while some characters that achieve Ultimate Self status are in fact better off, namely the Sprites or those sidelined in some way, the loss of self that comes with it is largely showcased as a Bad Thing in the instance of those who already were more important/relevant to the main cast. Even then, and while intrinsically tied to their Classpect, the characters still have their own particular spins on the Classpects- A Classpect is too broad a concept to have a singular 'Platonic Ideal', just as often times the Platonic Ideal of their character can contain contradictions in the 'whole' of their existence!

Homestuck is, first and foremost, a Coming of Age story about Teens growing up into Adulthood, with all the pain, trauma and baggage of carrying the legacy of their world, and their families, on their shoulders, in one way or another. SBURB wants the characters to go through an Arc, develop, and become worthy gods, but as we see time and time again, this is not always necessarily in a character's best interest, and the idea of the Self, what makes you You, if you're still You as time passes, as your body changes, as you become something metaphysically completely detached from what you used to be, and how this affects your interpersonal relationships and your relationship to the world around you, is far more complex than simply 'discarding traits to become closer to your Classpect's Platonic Ideal'.

You succumb to sleep in the Quest Bed, but simultaneously, you do wake up as your Dream Self. Whether you take this as being taken by this Platonic Dream, or truly Waking Up to the true nature of your existence, that's a matter of taste and views. Likewise, this doesn't make the characters that didn't God Tier or die and become their Dream Self any less likely to undergo changes to their Self and 'wake up' in their own right.

It's a complex story! It tackles a lot of themes of the self, agency, growing up and the like, and that is always messy. Some are happier becoming something else. Some cling to what they were. Some were always hiding what they truly were. Some are still figuring out. And that's fine. The metaphysics of SBURB are a device to explore the different ways all of this affects the characters! So the most important thing I'd say is less the validity of the observation in regards to an Inverted Version of Homestuck based on your views, and more:

How would this scenario affect the characters differently, and what new hurdles/feelings/predicaments would this create in their development and the story?

[its-shugo-chara-time]

Shugo Chara Jewel Joker Ch. 1 Review

I thought I'd go over my thoughts about the first chapter of the sequel.

So, can we first start off with how gorgeous this chapter cover is? Like I absolutely love how the same art style is still there but it seems more refined and...mature (I don't know how but it just does).

I'll be completely honest that I'm not super thrilled about them adding on another love interest to the sequel. It makes sense, but, not super excited about it. The fact that he already appears to just be a younger version of Ikuto feels a bit lazy on Peach-Pit's end. Sorry if that's offensive but those were just my initial thoughts.

I also really like that it's a sequel directly after the events of Shugo Chara Encore. I think exploring Amu's growth through middle school is such a great concept. The ~ cool and spicy ~ line still makes me smile every time.

It's so good to see Rima, Yaya, and Kairi!! AAAH THEY ARE ALL SO PRECIOUS, especially Rima. I always have adored her.

Also, Kairi and Yaya's dynamic is so cute. I think they balance each other out really well. I know some thought their "pairing", if you can even call it that, in Shugo Chara Encore random, but I think it actually works well. I'd love to see some of the chapters show how Kairi and Yaya are doing taking over the Seiyo Academy Elementary guardians, maybe even see who the new King, Queen, and Joker end up being.

And then there's the adorable prince. I spent so much of middle and high school years going back and forth between him and Ikuto as my favorite. I started off liking Ikuto then went to Tadase then back to Ikuto haha. Now that I am 26 years old, I can acknowledge that the age gap between Amu and Ikuto is definitely valid in people considering it problematic, which I would have adamantly disagreed with at 16. Now that I am a therapist and have seen a lot (to say the least), my opinion has changed. I can't deny the appeal of that relationship in a fictional setting but also can't deny that the age gap is not something that can be overlooked. It would never fly in real life. I'll just leave it at that.

I'm not going to lie, I was pretty disappointed when I first read this about her going to a new school. I was like NOOO I WANT TO SEE AMU WITH THE SAME CHARACTERS AND JUST SEE ALL THE RELATIONSHIPS DEVELOP MORE. Alas, though, I also can agree that the new school and new characters can be great for Amu's growth and journey. Plus, I mean, there's got to be an actual plot lol. So there's that.

I also love how Tsukasa is downplaying all of this. Like it'll actually only take a week or two. Or a semester haha. Also weird how he's just shipping them off with little regard for their actual education or wants. Did Amu's parents actually say yes to this? Haha. It's those little things that I think about that I wonder if anyone else does.

First appearance of the new mysterious cat boy. I wonder if they're making him (at least appearance wise) identical to Ikuto because Peach-Pit realized that Ikuto being with Amu is deemed problematic more so now or if it's just another distraction until Amu ends up with Ikuto ..or Tadase? I honestly have no clue what they'll end up doing. I also just wanted to say that if you all do ship Amuto or Amu with Ikuto, there is no judgment from me. I must acknowledge that it is inappropriate but at the same time, I also know the nostalgia and very cute story they have too. Their relationship is very sweet, but the age gap can't be overlooked. But anyway, still not thrilled about this new guy, sorry.

Oh my gosh look how cute they are!!! Amu's uniform suits her so well, I 100% support her wearing that the rest of the series. Tadase also looks super cute too with that coat. He looks more grown up, aw.

I don't know how all these children get to go to these academies that look more beautiful than some cathedrals. Also can't wait to see how this new cute villain guy contributes to this story. I wonder how he'll differ from the other villains like Nikaidou and Kairi's sister (why can't I remember her name?) or the Easter director guy. I think Nikaidou has been my favorite "villain" so far. I think he was the most developed one.

I like the concept of the X not disappearing and having this cultish academy where everyone already has guardian characters. Where did the X egg go though? Did it just disappear? Am I stupid because I seriously don't know why it's not mentioned after this haha like where did it go? And whose was it? Can't wait to see why all the students are desensitized to this haha.

Possible villain number 2. I like her character design. I kind of like how she's more passive aggressive toward Amu instead of how it was with Rima and Utau where it was full on aggression at the beginning. I don't think we've really seen Amu handle that dynamic and I'm curious how their relationship will develop. It's funny how Amu knows there's something off about her immediately. Amu definitely isn't naive like she can read that the girl doesn't have good intentions pretty quickly.

Okay, this conversation that Amu has with Rima is so cute though. Whether I can fully ship Amuto or not, I have to say Rima giving Amu relationship advice (albeit, not good advice haha) is hilarious and we need to see more of this please.

Gosh I love Amu's different faces. And that's she's a scaredy cat.

Can we just remember -

And many, many more amazing Amu reactions from the anime.

I'll close with, I still don't like new boy but I guess I can't say I permanently think that until he actually gets formally introduced. I hope he's distinctly different from Ikuto or else it just feels kind of pointless having him there.

Welp, that's my commentary! Sorry that was EXTREMELY long. It's also almost midnight where I live, like wow I sure can blab about this manga for a long time. Please comment or like if you at least somewhat enjoyed this little review. Or if you didn't like it. I'm open to suggestions haha, or light-hearted, respectful debates. I'm very new to being back on tumblr so if my formatting is horrendous I'm down for some advice. I also will be posting about the second chapter in the upcoming days so be looking out for that too! Excited to be back on here and see what you all think about the sequel :)

[utilitycaster]

You commented on not being a fan of non-pc pov scenes in ap, something that Aabria used in the first go of exu (which was one of the main things that put me off of it, tbh). Do you have any thoughts on how this is applied in EXU compared to WBN?

So for EXU there's some parts that are better, and some that are worse. The good thing is that they're very brief snapshots vs. the one in WBN that was like, an extended several-minute scene. I also actually kind of like the ones for Ted, since that makes sense; we know it's impossible to really get Ted's perspective otherwise and you can kind of handwave it as being related to Opal and floating about in her unconscious.

The ones for My'ratta and Poska on the other hand, while again, brief, sort of underscore their lack of development. We did not know what Myr'atta wanted until episode 93 of Campaign 3, and as I've said before I literally could not tell you what the goal of the Nameless Ones or Poska is. They serve no purpose narratively except as a ticking clock and shadowy threat to get the Crown Keepers to leave a place quickly.

I mentioned Otohan in my original post on this topic as an example of an underdeveloped antagonist, something Brennan mentioned as something he hoped to avoid, and Myr'atta, Poska, and Otohan are all ultimately cut from the same cloth: cool aesthetic, cool abilities, and a severe lack of in-game development. I don't know what motivates them (or in Myr'atta's case, didn't while they were an ongoing part of the story) and so they all bore me. They are flat, dull villains who say threatening shit that means nothing because I don't know what drives them. I don't want to keep getting into it because it kind of derailed my original point anyway but what frustrates me the most is how people keep saying "oh but I'm sure they have a motivation." Like yeah bitch. I'm sure they do. The GM has a responsibility to convey that in-game. And they can do so subtly! Believe me, I am glad to do the work of unpicking motivation from allusions or what is carefully unsaid; this is what makes Ludinus and Liliana (and Lolth in EXU) interesting! But it's telling that whenever I'm like "what the fuck does this character do other than serve the purpose of a Plot Device to either threaten or move the characters", no one ever like, explains their motivation to me; it's always "give it time! I'm sure the GM has something in mind." Well, both Myr'atta and Otohan died before we got that (we still don't have it for Otohan) so I think we can safely say the waiting game is for suckers. Like, if you like characters based on aesthetic alone that's valid as a choice, but I'm not taking your meta or arguments seriously because that's a superficial judgment.

It's also frustrating because it's like...the GMs and the fans who keep insisting to be PATIENT long after a boring antagonist has worn out their welcome for me are simultaneously like "the audience will not remember this guy if I don't shove them in their face in a stilted cutscene" and also "clearly, the audience will infer that this boring-ass antagonist MUST have something deeper going on and therefore they will extend credit indefinitely." It's the absolute opposite of what they should be prioritizing. Instead of trying to jingle the antagonist in front of me like keys while still doing nothing to develop their personality, maybe have the party...idk, have a vision. find a letter. learn something secondhand from someone talking in a bar that sheds light on their motivation.

In WBN it's actually a totally different problem. The scene is 100% unnecessary. We know what the Man in Black wants. We know what's going on with him. We know his goals and his allies. We saw him only a couple episodes ago and he's been a topic of discussion throughout a good chunk of the arc. Hell, we even know how dope-ass his aesthetic is. This is just showing something the party doesn't know and can't act on, for several minutes of Brennan talking to himself, and I think it actually destroys what would be a gut-punch of undead Sir Curran showing up on the opposite side of Eursulon, whose entire deal is being inspired by him.

So: The EXU scenes are less intrusive for their brevity, the fact that the Ted ones are pretty good, and that at least they don't spoil a moment, but at the same time they still don't solve the problem of an underdeveloped antagonist for Myr'atta and Poska. The WBN scene meanwhile drags on, and actually does too much by taking what could be an unbelievably devastating reveal and having it happen when Eursulon isn't even there to respond. I couldn't tell if this actually spoiled it for Lou, since they record well in advance, but if it did that's such a missed opportunity.

Anyway I think my point is that (with the exception of the very first scene of a campaign that is setting the stage, before the PCs are introduced) these cutscenes only work if they are extremely short and purely for vague flavor. I think if you want to have a scene with no PCs present, you should perhaps write a book or a screenplay instead of playing D&D.

[dispatchwithlove]

I absolutely adore your ideas for turian culture. The shawls, the interesting word choices correlating with Roman/Latin words (like zuccha, amar, saccha). My absolute favorite thing though is the ties they have with the sky and stars. Garrus' curses (empty night, blackest night) especially are some of my favorite little elements in the universe you write for them. Where did you come up with these awesome ideas? I'm just so invested in the culture you created for my favorite space cats!

Hello Anon! Sorry this took so long to answer, I got absolutely giddy when I read it!

Well the whole Latin thing is taken both from canon (they're based on the Roman empire) and fanon. I know others have used Latin words and Roman culture to develop turian culture, and I liked it so I ran with it. A lot of the words I made up are bastardized latin words, lol. Saccha, mela, and zuccarum (zucca for short) are taken from the Latin words for sugar, honey, and ... sugar again, I think, lol. Crulum is taken from cookie. I kind of just look up the latin words for things and throw some letters around until I'm happy with the mouth feel of it. Other words I just plain make up, like lambas, which is a dish Val makes for the family. I want all turian words to sound like a rich, rolling, rumbly language as much as possible. For Avinelin, a Garrus/Nihlus one shot, I wanted the turian language Nihlus teaches Garrus to sound more like Spanish, because I think it's an incredibly sexy language. Basically, I want turians to sound hot I guess! I think a lot of people like to write turians as cold and ultra-militaristic, and go as far as to say they don't show physical affection easily (which is a valid take that I fully support!). But, I like to show the opposite of that -- that yes their culture is regimented and bureaucratic, but there's still warmth within them. Maybe expressing that warmth within them is even more important, considering their strict social guidelines.

I think that's also why I like to explore the importance of celestial themes with them as well. It shows that they once were religious, just like many species, and that shaped their language and how they cope with life. I know others play with curses being star based as well, so I didn't invent that, I just have fun playing with it. I will say that so far my favorite bit of star theme that I've come up with though, is Garrus seeing Jane's freckles as stars in a night sky, and that when he was a boy he'd look up at the night sky for comfort and solace. I don't get gushy over things I write often, but that moment in The Quarian where he makes that connection gets me! And I will absolutely be playing with that as Garrus and Jane reveal their feelings and explore their relationship in The Boy. One day he'll tell Jane that her freckles are like stars and she'll just melt 🥺 (I've already written the scene 😁)

OH, and the shawls...in the sequel to The Boy (working title is The Missing -- I hate my titles btw, but I feel stuck to the theme now, lol) There's going to be a murder based on the Jeffrey McDonald murders (a military doctor accused "hippies" of killing his family) and I wanted turians to have some sort of cultural appearance that xenophobic humans judged, but was based on something loving, so I thought maybe turians wear shawls while they marry, then i daydreamed about Jane wearing a shawl when her and Garrus get married, then when I was writing about a winter turian holiday (Anivia Vocan) I thought it would be cool if turians wear shawls for all important occasions. Boom, turians have special shawls. Okay, I feel like I've blabbered on enough. Bless anyone who read through this all. TLDR is that I have no plan and don't even keep track of the stuff I write. It all just bubbles up while I'm daydreaming about Jane and Garrus and I include what I remember.

Thanks for asking! Hope this was fun to read. If it was, I'm always down to answer any questions about my stories or world building! ❤️

[velvet-vox]

Hey.

How are you?

Just wanted to tell you, dear @rad10active-ketchup , that I agree with you. This is in reference to an argument that we had a couple of months ago about this post you've made:

I kept thinking about Doll's death and just how sudden it was.

At the time, I was trying to cope with the best coping mechanism possible: accepting her death through the lenses of competent writing. The problem was, you brought up some valid points that challenged said coping mechanism with the possibility of a lack of care by the writers for what they were doing, so I responded with this analysis:

That's a lie

Now, I assume you don't really care about the whole thing anymore and are probably just thinking that I'm a total creep for writing this, and if that's the case, then I'll delete or rewrite this post immediately for providing you with uneasiness.

The thing that I'm trying to say though is... you were right.

I have an indecisive shifting view of Doll's death and how it was executed. At times, I was totally in agreement with this aspect of the story, and other times I was cursing Liam Vickers to all hell and back.

But now that the dust of episode 7 has settled, I can't help but think that Doll was just wasted potential in the end. This is going to age horribly if she were to come back in any way, shape or form, but as of right now her existence in the story feels like a cool plot device for action scenes and character development.

I admittedly wouldn't have thought much of Murder Drones if she didn't exist in the show, her personal conflict with the team just felt way more interesting and grounded than the eldritch, universal, still not as developed threat of Cyn and The Absolute Solver. I like N and can't imagine the show working without him, but his sister was still a very late part of his character development that needed to be addressed after the proper development and pacing, not being broadcast from minute one as "the big thing".

Problem is, I grew too attached to Doll throughout this time, and I feel like I finally learned why: She shares with me so many traits that I haven't seen represented anywhere else in fiction and it led me to identify myself with her to the point that when she died, it felt like part of me died too and she was merely the premonition of my future failure to overcome my flaws.

I was always on board with Doll dying; I just watched the first two seasons of Wakfu and learned how to write a tragic antagonist properly, believe it or not, I actually thought that V was going to be the one to kill her in the end since it looked like the most fitting end to her arc; but I digress now.

It just feels like Bradford Buzzard 2.0 for me: I spent so much time getting invested in a character that the writers never really cared about beyond the action spectacle.

That's a bloody shame, but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.

[bloodinwine]

💙

💙 Blue: What inspires you to finish writing a fanfic, and what makes you quit writing one at any stage in the process? The only other main WIP I have other than Until You is My Midnight Sun (which I haven't worked on in months). Though I also had a fraught relationship with previous WIPs (two original stories I worked on and off for years.

All that to say - Until You has been a godsend in my writing journey.

I've never felt like this where I had the consistent determination to write. I guess this is what I've finally come to learn...

Inspiration is wonderful, but often fleeting. It doesn't sound as cool but discipline in my opinion will always take you that much farther in finishing a project above all else. I think I was able to develop that discipline with Until You because at some point I was finally able to adopt a mindset where I truly wanted to just enjoy the process and write for me. It is the utmost priority that before I post anything that I am the one who is happy with it. That doesn't mean I don't ever struggle with doubts. I do all the time. There's a part of me that knows it could always be better - but I don't fight that part of myself as much now. I try not to get in my own way.

It's important that I give myself that validation or that sense of accomplishment. I tell myself: I did it! I wrote that chapter! I did my best! I can't wait to see what happens with the next one!

Sometimes just being your own cheerleader makes all the difference <3