#i want to be to be loved so badly
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i’m so tired of living life on a surface level. i want to be loved beyond that. i want someone to see me and want to know the ins and outs of who i am; how and why i feel and think the things i do. show me i’m actually worth being cared about on a deeper level.
#im so tired#i want to be to be loved so badly#bpd#borderline#borderline personality disorder#quiet borderline#quiet bpd#actually bpd#actually borderline#actually cptsd#cptsd#actually neurodivergent#complex post traumatic stress disorder#living with bpd#living with borderline#living with mental illness#living with cptsd#mental illness#personality disorder#cluster b#neurodivergent#bpd thoughts#masking#personal#vent#vent blog#traumatized#adhd#actually adhd#living with adhd
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emma dupain cheng on the brain😽🎀
more:
#ml#miraculous#miraculous ladybug#my art#emma dupain cheng#emma agreste#(i think that may the more popular tag for her lol. she is a dupain cheng in my heart though)#plagg#she is thirteen almost fourteen here btw. because i love circularity#emma dupain cheng to me is like. what if emilie or adrien grew up in a stable home with no trauma. that’s emma#and she is theater kid✨#and adrien and marinette are soooo so so supportive and love going to her shows and are so proud of her#/marinette has to be held back from trying to manipulate the school play casting process to secure emma the lead every year#but then emma sets her sights on bigger things(broadway west end)#and adrien pumps the breaks big time#and he’s so torn between supporting her interests and wanting so badly to keep her from like. being a child actor. having a job. b#being pulled from school#and emma gets upset bc he is standing in the way of her dreams#and they fight about it:(#and then emma discovers plagg and convinces him to help her sneak out and go to her callback that she secretly auditioned for#(and forged all the parent signatures for lol)#and. well. plagg CAN be bribed#and also she just reminds him so much of baby adrien🤧 he is a softie#and she runs away to her callback. and adrien and marinette wake up the next morning and see on the news that there is a new chat noir.#anyway. not that i’ve thought about it or anything
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unconditionally
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#im shaky and numb the way this took years off my life#genuinely cannot believe i thought it was smart to make it a comic i could have stuck at a painting and it would have been fine#but nooooooo in my hubris i thought Surely im an expert at this longform stuff now Surely i can do it :)#and then it killed me it killed me dead this is like over twice as long as the train comic and 4 times as detailed#backgrounds . angles. i yearn fr death.#AND I HAD 2 WRITE THEM ACTUALLY TALKING GGSDH i am actually so insecure abt the way the dialogue flows gomen....#i wanted to add more to it to fix how clipped and rushed i think it reads#but that would mean drawing more expressions would mean drawing more panels would mean more gd hyDRANGEAS#so ultimately i decided 2 have the conversation take the hit because let me tell u.#if i have to draw. one more blue petal i will snap i will lose it#i knew tht would happen n wanted to alleviate some of the pain so i found a few brushes that helped speed up the process#but the thing w a lot of premade flower brushes is they also come preshaded n look uniform in a way that stands out badly against my style#so i had 2 render over them anyway........#yuuji's domain rly putting me through the wringer first the train station now death by a bajillion petals smh#all that to say tho . my labour of love . i am going to take a nap#hina.comic
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tshirt that says NO LIVE ORGANISM CAN CONTINUE FOR LONG TO EXIST SANELY UNDER CONDITIONS OF ABSOLUTE REALITY
#i literally JUST finished hill house a few days ago and i already want to reread. Badly. it's sooo so so soo sooooooooo good <33333!!!!!#also completely enamored by shirley jackson's writing style i NEED to read everything she has written ever like right now..#opening lines of ALL TIME btw 👆❗❗❗#r.txt#the haunting of hill house#ALSO i've seen commentary videos on the tv show they made of hill house but from what i remember of it it's SO different from the book???#i think they were all siblings in the show which is??????? like why would you change that part?? i love sibling relationships as much as the#next guy but i feel like the fact that none of them knew each other was such an essential part of the story like why would u change it....#also eleanor was like. an entirely different character who was also already dead in the show i believe??? and dr. montague doesn't exist??#hill house could've been really good as a show idk why they changed it up like that...like was the original story not interesting enough for#you or something?? WHO decided to make that change i just wanna talk 🤨
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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mombin pt 9!! it's been too long i'm sorry
(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)
#stobin#stranger things#mombin#steve harrington#robin buckley#this is a panic attack i could see myself having no matter how badly i wanted kids#shit's terrifying#also i need to stop trying different brushes i hate it literally every time#also i'm in the 'fic writers stop demonising nancy' club#i Eat it when relationships end badly but let it be NOBODY'S fault#like think of the WORST breakup you had as a teenager. as a former 15 year old you're just so stupid and that's ok#sometimes 'i love you but we're absolutely not supposed to keep doing this' is MORE painful than one person being a raging bitch
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Devastating homoerotic Situantioship ends in catastrophic divorce
Thousands dead, countless injured
commission info here
#billford#gravity falls#bill cipher#the book of bill#stanford pines#ford TO ME is simultaneously the most aroace (leaning towards the homoromantic spectrum) character ever#and#the one most likely to absolutely have had a romantic psychosexual relationship with an evil triangle#the book of bill really is just 100 pages of bill being like “well shit I think i actually loved and still love this guy”#meanwhile for Ford is on SIGHT if he ever sees Bill again#bill wants to fuck that old man so badly it makes him stupid#my art#my fanart
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track)#The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more.#I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by#and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles!#Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise!#I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space.#It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is#You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together:#I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper.#I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything.#You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there.#Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite.#day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less:#'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all)#This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly.#(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)
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Holy crap this is like world record breaking pace guys
Speedrun/Time Travel AU masterlist
#speedrun au#one piece#time travel au#op fanart#sabo#monkey d. luffy#portgas d. ace#asl brothers#time travel aus are my favourite trope for any fandom's fanfic#but this especially is why i want it for one piece#because I needed ace to die in canon. luffy NEEDED to get that wake up call and his whole crew NEEDED badly to get stronger#but ace is so much more than just a plot device for luffy... he was a person who was loved by so many people because#he made so many people happy#if luffy and his crew travelled back in time... they wouldn't need to worry anymore about their strength#Ace could live you know....#He could meet sabo while he was an adult#sabo could meet ACE while he was an adult#ALSO SIDE NOTE BUT SABO ALSO REMEMBERS THE TIME TRAVEL SHENANIGANS!!! but def not as well as any of the strawhats#i think the thing he remembers most is what he felt when he regained his memories in the first timeline#u guys... this comic was so vivid in my mind i HAD to draw it out... like i was planning on doin other time travel au comics before#but like I HAD to draw this because i had such intense ASL feelings#I tried to think if Ace would just start cussing sabo out cause like WHY DID YOU LET US THING U WERE DEAD ; - ;??? WHY DIDNT U CONTACT US??#but i think ace is really tired... like he's been worrying about luffy... and suddenly his brother starts uncharacteristically start#full out bawling in his arms... and he's really confused right now but both of his brothers are here and they're both crying#so there's really only one thing he can do#anyways i hope u enjoyed the comic#op spoilers#<- oops forgot to add that my b
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dual destinies game of all time
#sketches#apollo justice#athena cykes#not ship art#ace attorney#dual destinies#i looooove apollo i love seeing him go through the 9 circles of hell and still wanting to believe in others so so badly#him and athena. ooooghh</333333
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i know not many people would want to read a 10,000 word article about the minecraft end poem and how the author, Julian Gough, was never fairly compensated for his work and has made it public domain.
But it's a very well-written and heartfelt read, and he makes it very clear that none of this is a cash-grab and despite the fact that he is essentially a starving artist in this capitalist society, he only mentions his financial struggles despite Minecraft's huge huge success at the bottom of this article and not in the tweets so as to not dilute his message.
Anyway, I just think it'd be cool if those who are able to could support him in some way whether it be subscribing to his substack or donating to his paypal (that's linked in the article, you can ctrl + F to find it easier), that's all.
#Edit: Please look at the article for his paypal and his substack!! most ppl are reblogging a version where i didnt mention it oh gosh#im not really. the kind of person to make posts like this and i dont have the spoons to make it look nice.#my tumblrs not that visible anyway so i guess it doesnt actually matter#i just think that understandably not many ppl would read through the entire article and it makes me so sad that even in the article#he talks about how badly he just wants to make art and not play the capitalism game and still he doesnt talk about needing support#on the platforms where it'd be most visible bc he doesnt WANT to play the capitalism game even if society dicates it and its meant to#be an act of LOVE and just. yeah.#minecraft#minecraft end poem#mineblr
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It's absolutely true that delusions can take on religious elements and be fueled in part or whole by religion, but dear l-rd, do I hate when people blanket all religion under this whole "it's all delusion, anyway!!!".
No it is not, and I know that because I know what it's like to have gone through delusions! I was reminded of that difference recently, and I'm religious. Not everything that you personally disagree with is a delusion, a narcissistic power play, or anything else. Sometimes you disagree with others. I am pretty religious, but I am more than willing to agree with non-theists about their opinions because they come up with good ideas and we are equal human beings. In fact, the atheist has strengthened my own religious beliefs because I am challenged by them to actually think things through. My whole issue with this is the - funnily enough - holier-than-thou, stigmatizing attitudes that are necessary to say things like that.
As someone who has a vested interest in mental health and accurate information about it, this stuff unironically angers me. The human in me wants to educate people, but the ape in me wants to take away the terms delusional, narcissistic, gaslighting, and every mental health term under the sun away until people learn how to properly use and apply them. The only people you are hurting are people who are already hurting.
#jumblr#mental health#personal thoughts tag#i saw a post on my dash earlier about 'the person in me wants [reasonable thing] but the ape in me wants to [primal reaction]' and i love i#i believe it's a minority of non-theists who do this but every instance of Bad Mental Health Opinions angers me#and i'm not necessarily sorry for it because i'm the insane person who has to battle those opinions as they enter the public consciousness#people do this about more than religion (you're trans?! so you're delusional) and it pisses me off just as badly#a guy just last night said he thought i was delusional because i'm trans. he would break down if he experienced my *actual* delusions
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Obviously next week could prove this all dead-wrong, but I don’t think the trial’s quite over. I don’t believe the end of that episode actually took place, because I’m pretty sure we’re still firmly in the “punish Agatha” phase. Rio’s suddenly gone. Alice seems to be dead by Agatha’s hand, and no one—including Teen, who has always been on her side—seems primed to believe she was out of control. The others have been sucked beneath the power of the surrogate son who not only just told Agatha to fuck off, but went full-Wanda to do it. It just all seems too tailored to cut up any of the character progress Agatha’s made on the Road thus far. Getting harassed by her ghost mother and hearing her son’s voice don’t feel like a complete tear-down. This does. It feels like more trial.
#agatha all along#agatha all along spoilers#agatha harkness#show next week: punt your theory into the SUN idiot#it just felt so abrupt#like that episode felt SHORT and the ending came up like a two by four to the forehead#feels a lot like Agatha’s fears coming true#your coven will leave you. your girl vanishes. your not-son reviles you AND bears the power and control of#the witch who fucked you up so badly and foiled your power#it seems really interesting that this happens when we’re starting to really get glimpses of the softer side of Agatha#with her love for Rio and her mounting reluctant affection for the coven and her grief for her son#and now the idea that Teen needs to be bound up as a ‘familiar’ when she knows she’s been letting him in#he’s not yours Agatha. he’s not yours and he wants nothing to do with you#Wanda gets everything and Agatha gets sucked under#I find it all veeeery curious
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The disproportionate hate towards Tommy Kinard and the refusal to accept that someone could have genuine, meaningful character development off-screen that is still valid and real is a symptom of cancel culture and the internet’s general refusal to allow a person to become more than their past failings but some of y'all aren't ready to hear that
#i said what i said#y'all he's so clearly grown and developed and become better since the flashback episodes why are you refusing to let a person be Not Racist#like yeah i wish they had shown or talked about it on screen but that isn't going to happen NOW because y'all couldn't have an imagination#like why aren't y'all mad that they didn't show his development on screen instead of being mad that he had development in the first place#why do you want a dude to be racist so badly#anyways. i'm bitter. I love complicated messy queer characters who aren't perfect but they're trying and isn't that what matters#tommy kinard#911 abc#911 show#911 spoilers#bucktommy#tevan
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oh god I want him
#debvinsart#art#doodle#low effort#collaboration#art collab#sebastian solace#pressure#pressure roblox#roblox#oh my god#I need them man so badly like#you don’t understand#you don’t get it#I need his gen]der#I need him pregnant#would his tail be slimy#slimey#or would it be wet#I want him so bad#also chubby cheek supremacy#I love chubby cheeks
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I have been in the solavellan fandom for...A While. (do not count the years, i beg) and everyone has their tropes and themes re: wolves/halla and hunter/prey and the New Herald being worshiped/the Old God nearly forgotten, and tbh I like bits and pieces of all of them, but like...
For me, the most compelling story is that Lavellan is just Some Guy (gn).
They meet Solas and accept that he is like them. He's an elf. One of The People. You are like me. I am like you. We are The Same People. And because of that, I will protect you with whatever power the humans around us have given me, because I know this is not the safest place for either of us.
And it just fucking... gets him, right? Because that's his whole deal. The world is broken because the people aren't People. He's not like them. They're not like him.
I just love the idea that this impossibly old, incredibly powerful sort-of-god, trips into a hole and nearly throws his entire game away because a regular person (albeit one who was thrust into extraordinary circumstances) decided to be kind. Offered him protection and friendship. Asked him to tell them stories. Grieved with him when he lost one of his oldest friends.
He could not deny that they were a person, because they treated him like a person.
I love how ordinary that is. How simple. How devastating.
'You're real, and it means everyone could be real. It changes everything, but it can't.'
#Solavellan#solas x lavellan#dragon age#like it's such 'in another life i think i'd have really loved doing laundry and taxes with you' vibes#like to live an extraordinarily long and devastatingly bloody and ultimately lonely life#and then be offered love simply and honestly with no strings or caveats from a person who genuinely just...likes being with you?#RIP buddy i think I'd have gone a bit feral myself#I think this is probably why I am still foaming at the mouth over them a decade later#i have never wanted 2 people to Catch a Fucking Break so badly in my LIFE#let them have their life with laundry and taxes ;_;
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