#i want to be a masc lesbian and then will wood if that makes any sense

[thedndgoblinwholivesinyourwalls]

’woah i want to be a masc lesbian woahh’ my inspo board: darryl wilson, casey wilson, lark oak garcia, two of my characters.

[doberbutts]

This is such a weird take I keep seeing echo'd.

"Where are the trans women" I mean this is an attempt by trans *mascs* to band together and form a community to discuss theory and uplift each other? In a space that centers trans mascs it should be expected that trans mascs are the majority? That's not insidious that's literally just how demographics work? A space that centers trans fems should equally be dominated by, you guessed it, trans fems.

Not to mention there *are* trans women joining in our discussions, they just usually prefer to let trans men have the floor when discussing issues specifically pertaining to trans men? That's just polite? The people actually affected by a specific problem should be the ones to talk about it?

Cripplepunk to my knowledge was started by a trans masc. I say to my knowledge because despite being a physically disabled trans guy myself, I am neither part of that community nor do I really have much interaction with it. It makes sense to me that a community and movement started by a trans masc is mostly made up of trans mascs. Saying "well there aren't many trans women in this movement despite disabled trans women existing" is sort of silly, because there are communities and movements created by trans women which include very few trans men as well.

Like. You might as well say "why aren't there any lesbians at this gay nudist retreat in the woods" I'm pretty sure you've answered your own question there! It's probably because the majority of lesbians aren't interested in this space that centers constantly naked dudes having anal sex next to the poison ivy! If they want to come along and bring a friend to have their own fun with that's fine but then they have to be really okay with looking at a bunch of naked guys having public sex all the time. There's probably not going to be a lot of provisions made specifically for them and any discussion might be regarding topics they don't know much about or have much interest in. The ones that do show up are probably either really fucking chill about it or some part of the goings-on really resonates with them. There you go.

[eliza-and-her-monsters]

Baby, It’s Halloween

Julien Baker x Reader

Description: Four gay friends and a remote cabin in the woods, one of which absolutely does not do haunted things. What could go wrong? Sometimes a fraidy cat just needs a brave and strong masc lesbian to protect them.

Contains: PG-13, scared x comfort trope, julien x femme reader, taller julien, mentions of halloween, scary stories, and general spookiness, fluff, laughs and giggles slight mentions of smut if you squint.

WC: Around 2.5K

It was probably a serial killers wet dream as the group of us 20-somethings sat around the blazing fire lighting up the backyard of Phoebe’s family’s cabin. Whenever Julien first asked me, or more so begged me to join them on their annual Halloween weekend I should’ve been more inclined to join than I was. We had been together for over a year, the first one I had notoriously bypassed much to her dismay on some excuse that I didn’t want to get in the way of her friend time. I couldn’t get away with it a second year in a row though, not if I wanted to stay in her friend’s good graces and it should’ve practically been a right of passage to any newbie of the friend group. But if I was being honest, during Halloween the thing always kind of gave me the creeps.

“I’m just saying, this year was a total bust. I didn’t see a single sexy Harley Quinn! Can you believe that? That’s the best part of this season!” Phoebe lamented from her spot on the other side of the fire, shoving a singular marshmallow in her mouth with remnants of her fake vampire blood still decorating her mouth.

“I thought just last year you were begging people not to dress up as Harley Quinn.” Lucy added with a roll of her eyes.

“Babe, do you want any marshmallow with your fire?” I heard the familiar and comforting voice of my girlfriend speak from next to me, wrapping a firm around mine to pull the now charred dessert from the fire and putting the flames out with a strong gust of air.

“See a spirit in the trees and get distraced, y/n?” Phoebe teased with a raised eyebrow as my own started to narrow.

“No, and if I did I’m sure they wouldn’t waste their time hanging out with a bunch of 20-somethings pretending to be teenagers.” I spoke with a roll of my eyes while smushing the marshmallow in between the chocolate and graham crackers.

“On the contrary actually!” Phoebe voiced in amusement as she sat forward on her knees. “I always feel like the spirits get a little bit… active- every time we come down here for the weekend. Especially during the great All Hallow’s Eve.”

“You know that isn’t true, you’re just trying to scare me.” I stated in what was, in my opinion, in an incredibly piss poor attempt at sounding brave when in reality I was practically squirming on the chair.

“Wanna hear the story and then you can put in your two cents?” Phoebe stated with a little smirk forming on her blood painted lips.

“No… she doesn’t! And that’s enough, Phoebe, you promised me you were gonna behave this weekend and you weren’t gonna try and freak her out.” Julien glared across the fire at her unphased friend.

“I’m not trying to freak her out, Julien, I’m simply implying we liven things up a little bit.” Phoebe spoke with an innocent shrug of her shoulders. “What do you think?” She grinned, flicking on a hidden flashlight that made me jump as she held it underneath her chin. “Care for a scare?”

“If it makes you stop acting like an old man scaring children away from his old house then sure.” Lucy grumbled a bit to herself as she stole a look towards Julien. “You?”

“Heck no, your stories are ridiculous.” Julien protested with a roll of eyes. “And if you give my girlfriend nightmares I’m not gonna be happy about it either.”

“Awww… c’mon doggy, don’t be like that.” Phoebe replied, sticking her bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout before shooting a smirk my way. “Well y/n, looks like you’re the deal breaker.”

On one hand, I was definitely not down for anymore scary stories… especially ones that could’ve been real. Surrounded by a bunch of other 20-somethings in a stupidly old cabin in the middle of the woods. It already seemed like the plot of a bad horror movie. The key word was bad though, bad movies were rarely actually scary. Maybe I could handle this. No, no I could handle this. There was no maybe about it.

“Why not?” I shrugged with a proud flick of my hair. “How bad could one be?”

“Well, our tale doesn’t end very well for a lot of the past residents this cabin has had.” Phoebe carried on in the same theatrical voice she had maintained before. “You see these woods used to be really popular with hunters, even so they always made sure to never let their hunting days drag on to nights due to, well, it’s not exactly safe to be wandering around the woods at night? Even so though… one of their daughters had a boyfriend, a boyfriend that this family just couldn’t stand, you know? So they did what any reasonable parents would do, and banned her from seeing him.”

“That isn’t reasonable at all.” Julien huffed with a roll of her eyes.

“I think that’s the point, Julien.” Lucy remarked with a lifted brow.

“Well, reasonable or not… whenever you’re young and in love you tend to make really stupid and rebellious decisions, don’t you? Plus, living out here in the middle of nowhere it was just too easy to sneak around. Now the parents, they trusted their daughter, all around she was a good kid, straight a student, class president, the whole nine yards. So they thought there’s no way she would actually be caught sneaking around in the middle of the night with some good for nothing boy, right?”

Lucy and Julien both snorted at the revelation, and I had to fight not to roll my eyes. Though as Phoebe went on I could already feel my stomach churning, “Now remember, this family has a lot of active hunters right? So they have guns, guns they aren’t afraid to use in case a threat is by any chance suspected. So, one night, during one of their secret meetings they weren’t being as careful as usual, people claimed they were allegedly planning on running off together, skipping town so they could be together and get married and live their lives and all of that bullshit. Her dad though, he was hearing something creeping around at night, so suspecting the worst or maybe even a stray animal or something he takes his gun from inside and sneaks outside to investigate. Mistaking the couple for a bandit though, he fires, thinking that he’s simply protecting his family, not knowing exactly who his victims truly were until he had already sealed their fate.”

“Bullshit Phoebe! There’s no way that happened!” Lucy scoffed with yet another roll of her eyes.

“I don’t know, it does seem somewhat realistic.” I muttered to myself, wringing my anxious hands in my lap.

“Don’t let her freak you out with all of these ridiculous stories. It’s all they are. Stories to make sure you behave.” Julien shook her head, a soft hand lingering on my shoulder as she stood up to her feet.

“It definitely was told to us to make sure we behaved alright. I do think it holds its weight though. It certainly kept me from sneaking around those woods at night.” Phoebe went on, her smirk still remaining on her lips almost proudly. “Don’t even get me started about the ones they told me about the screaming banshee and-“

“Okay, I think I’m ready for bed.” I quickly interrupted with a nervous lap and springing to my feet with way too much enthusiasm.

“Okay, as scary as it was that story was about real people. Situations that everyone has control over! It’s not like anyone of us are gonna sneak out at night and start shooting at each other.” Lucy brushed off next, sitting forward almost as if anticipating another addition to the story. One Phoebe had no problems with granting.

“Well, if you wouldn’t have so rudely interrupted then I could’ve told you about their ghosts. Terribly tragic things, a wailing teenager searching for her lost love, a guilty and crying old man-“

“Ghosts are not real.” Julien remarked firmly, her arm sliding even further around my shoulders as she brought me in closer.

“Weren’t you the one who literally told me you heard wailing in the woods last year?” Phoebe brought up, flashlight zooming over the both of us causing me to wince at the bright light.

“Probably because I assumed it was an animal or something. Not because I assumed ghosts were actually real! C’mon, get real, Phoebe.” Julien groaned which only earned an eye roll from Phoebe’s end, swiping the shining flashlight over the lot of us.

“Touchy touchy.” She drawled on.

I seemed to tune the stupid argument between the two out, my eyes getting heavy as I curled my hands up into the fabric of Julien’s peasant top. Dressed as a gender bent Eric from the Little Mermaid, meanwhile the corset of my Ariel dress was starting to get uncomfortable. All of those thoughts flew out of my head however the moment I saw a shadow catch on the ground just underneath the glow of the flashlight. A yelp sounded from my tone before I could even stop myself, clinging to Julien like a damsel as all three of them seemed to jolt to attention.

“What the fuck? What did you see?”

“Told you!” Lucy and Phoebe both uttered the drastically different statements at once. Julien’s soft voice speaking from above me as she gently brushed her fingers underneath my chin while I shivered underneath her arm.

“Baby? What happened? Talk to me, are you okay?” She whispered, my trembling hands forming into fists against her chest as I gazed up at her.

“I just… thought I saw a shadow or something over there but- I don’t know.” I let out a long sigh as I felt her hands gently cupping my cheeks.

“You probably just freaked yourself out by Phoebe’s dumbass ghost tales.” Julien rolled her eyes, all annoyance directly aimed at her friend however as she slid an arm around my shoulders. “C’mon, let’s just go get some sleep.”

“Ugh, you guys are seriously no fun. Domestic life has ruined you.”

“Please, domestic life has hardly ruined me. You need to put that fire out anyways or do you want daddy to do it.” I couldn’t help but snicker at Julien’s words as she whipped around once more to face the other two.

“This daddy can do it just fine on her own, thank you very much.” Phoebe scoffed before shoving herself up to her feet.

“Just making sure.” She voiced with a shrug before leading me off towards the entrance. All the while unable to pull my own eyes from the sprawling woods that only seemed to grow darker by the second.

~

“So… do you really think there’s any validity to that story Phoebe told? Like, do you think it’s real?” I wondered from the bathroom as I worked a cleansing balm into my face, wet eyeliner streaking down my eyes as if I had had a bad night.

“It’s possible… I mean it’s not that far-fetched of a story.” Julien spoke from her spot on the bed as she scrolled absentmindedly through her phone. “Do I think any vengeful spirits are roaming the grounds though? Hardly.”

“You know I try to be a skeptic.” I let out a little sigh as I finished wiping my face with a towel, decorating the fabric in various shades of eye makeup and red lipstick. The sight almost looking mildly gory as I tossed it aside and shuffled back into the bedroom.

“I mean, we could always blame the ghosts… if you’re into that sort of thing.” A squeal sounded from my lips as I felt myself being pulled onto the queen-sized bed, unable to stop the giggles from releasing as I watched her body crawl on top of mine.

“You know we don’t sound like ghosts, and no offense but your moans aren’t nearly as noticeable as mine.” I smirked a bit to myself as I slid my arms around her shoulders regardless. Not exactly a no, but a large maybe as I planted my lips firmly on hers.

“Hmmm…” she hummed against my lips, the vibrations nearly driving me insane as she whispered into my mouth. “Maybe I should stay on top then.”

“Christ, Julien.” I cursed, feeling her hands sliding so perfectly around my waist, lifting me until I was nearly pressed against her completely. Her lips were soft and inviting, a faint sense of nicotine on her breath but not enough to make it unbearable. She was a great distraction from the general spookiness. Though just before I could let my legs slide open just the slightest bit more the sound of something being more or less shoved to the floor caused my breathing to halt in my lungs and my hands to ball up against Julien’s chest with a gasp. “The hell?”

“Did you… sit something close to the edge on the counter by any chance?” Julien wondered with crinkled together eyebrows as her head turned towards the direction of the sound. A plethora of skincare products now rolling around haphazardly on the bathroom floor.

“No way, everything was pushed up against the window whenever I finished up.” I stated, suddenly drawing a bit closer towards the bed frame. “Julien, exactly how much do you not believe in ghosts?” I added, catching a bottom lip in between my teeth as I watched her make her way towards the bathroom.

“Suddenly… up for debate.” She answered, another stream of curse words falling from lips as I dropped my head into my hands. “Relax, clearly whoever this ghost is is just really passionate about you completing your skincare routine.”

“Not funny.” I glared, crossing my arms firmly across my chest as Julien only snickered a bit to herself as she proceeded to place the remainder of the products back onto the counter.

“Hey, listen.” She began, making her way back into the room to crawl into bed. “You really think I’m gonna let some ghost fuck with my girl?” She voiced just as she caught my chin in her hands, a soft flutter springing up in my heart every time she did so.

“I thought you didn’t believe in ghosts?” I teased just before sliding back underneath the covers, finally feeling the tenseness in my muscles relaxing as she pulled me in. Strong arms enveloping around me until the only thing I could think about was how safe they made me feel.

“Ghost or no ghost,” A small smile stretched on her lips just before I could feel the most tender kiss being placed upon my own. “I’ve still got you.”

[asclexe]

⭐️ government-forced blog intro post ⭐️

(new and improved!)

welcome to marvin’s marvelous mechanical museum!

🌟⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️🌟

^ me if you even care..

art above by the one and only @pingunaa

remember 2 to do ur daily clicks for palestine

free everyone!! help some people in need!!!

fun websites masterlist

suicide hotlines

this could save your life!

kys /j <3 (KEEP YOURSELF SAFE /srs.)

hai!! hello!! hey!! what’s up!! basic info/fun stuff below the cut (very long intro soo sorry)

*flash/blink warning for the blinkies

name: asclexe formally? cameron causally, but call me whatever! no, seriously! idc! nicknames (ex: cam, ronnie, cammy, etc) are welcome! feel free to call me your pookie or your son or child or something, be creative!

⭐️gender and pronouns: i am uhhh. nonbinary i think. they/them preferred, but it/its or he/him are also fine!! i prefer gender neutral terms, but i also am more masc leaning. like im a man. but also just a person.

⭐️not specifying my age but im a minor. B cool!! internet safety!!

⭐️sexuality: aromantic asexual aplatonic lesbian dumbfuck

⭐️nationality/country: american fuck my stupid baka life (EST timezone)

⭐️ i am also white :/

⭐️star sign: leo :3

⭐️personality type: intj (also houses mtbi if u care)

⭐️religious alignment: atheist cause im god /j 💪💪

bigots and pedos/zoos are lame and not welcome. i bite scammers. exclusively nsfw/kink blogs not welcome. im a kid. ed blogs please do not follow me because im uncomfortable with that. also don’t expect a follow back if youre over 24 cus thats weirdd

also if ur a diehard stan of anything pls think :3

dni if you’re from earth or human. aliens only blog. /j

and everyone else is welcome :3

⭐️fandoms im most active in:

house md

doctor who (only on season 2!!)

good omens

warrior cats (on arc 5 but i don’t plan on reading them)

dungeon meshi

movies in general

+ any other fandoms i consume in the future!!

⭐️fandoms i rarely post abt but still enjoy

tbosas/the hunger games

dead poets society

six feet under

a series of unfortunate events

fnaf

she-ra/the owl house/steven universe/gravity falls/etc

bluey

barbie/monster high

doogie howser md

scott pilgrim

the amazing digital circus

the middle

stardew valley

the spiderverse

abbott elementary

aggretsuko

i will post abt my sims occasionally :3 most posts are text posts bc im untalented

*i’m looking to get into evangelion, supernatural, hannibal, saw, and dexter 👍

i write fanfiction and poetry (i take requests feel free to hmu), i do local theater, i make pride icons (also requests hmu) i drabble in the occasional doodle, and i like baking and watching youtube and scrolling through tumblr and walking through the forest and my neighborhood and making bracelets and spending money and laying on the floor and singing and dancing and being silly and reading medical textbooks and cool novels and hanging with my irls and idk, yeah! life! carpe diem!

*also i’m trying to get into reality shifting! (im not a freak i swear)

⭐️my fav music artists (a little all over the place:3) jack stauber, will wood, lemon demon, tally hall/miracle musical, dazey and the scouts, mommy long legs, the oozes, bear ghost, mitski, chappell roan, weezer, the smashing pumpkins, my chemical romance, laufey, liana flores, faye webster, MARINA, pearl & the oysters, queen, no doubt, slipknot, korn, mindless self indulgence, hole, some olivia rodrigo, charli xcx, some vocaloids,

i love pretty much all kinds of jazz, rock, and showtunes (except ballads. i dislike ballads)

my music taste can be described as like. neurodivergent weird kid alt rock and hot girl summer pop.

(music recs are very much welcome <33)

*taylor swift enjoyers follow at your own risk (i hate on her occasionally. i really dislike her music and she’s also not that great of a person)

random facts about me :3

⭐️i’m left-handed (bully me for it ik im a freak)

⭐️unfortunately a theater kid :/

⭐️tall for this website

⭐️the most insufferable and annoying person ever

⭐️DOESNT BITE!! (i swear)

⭐️ i’m genetically pitch perfect but i’m awful with rhythm

⭐️favorite planet is ur mom (i ❤️ venus)

⭐️honors roll baby 🔥🔥

⭐️im most likely neurodiverse?? undiagnosed but speculated

⭐️perpetually alone only child 😔 please talk to me i love chatting with people, asks and replies preferred, dms okay <33

⭐️favorite color green. all of the shades.

⭐️i haven’t cried properly in like a year and i am not breaking my mewing streak

⭐️minorly touch/attention starved :3

⭐️single & ready to mingle!! (please don’t fucking talk to me like that im aroace and a minor )

⭐️REBLOGGING MACHINE 💪💪

⭐️i’ve never seen an episode of spongebob but saw the musical

⭐️#1 BEST XBOX SIMMER 🔥🔥

⭐️im nicer than i seem (i’m also a very negative person in general but i keep my thoughts to myself!)

⭐️i have a massive sweet tooth :3

⭐️(new) tags guide!⭐️

*note this is a new system i’m trying out, some older posts do not apply

#asclexeposting - all original content

#camyyaps - unhinged text posts/late night eepy time posts/yapping in the tags

#cam touches grass - the rare times i go outside and touch grass and do stuff

#ask the fellows - relating to my ask blog (go follow it go do it its @ask-the-ducklings go ask stuff)

#me ask :3 - reblog of something i asked another blog

#mootie :3 - if we’re mutuals and you send me an ask i tag it with this :3

*you also get your own individual tag for asks, for example @pingunaa is ping :3 and @rubeslovesthesmiths is rubes :3, etc

#cammy’s 4 later tag :3 - stuff for later!!

#cam plays the sims :3 - my simming tag

old man doctor yaoi prompt list :3

my house md oc :3

⭐️side blogs!⭐️

@ask-the-ducklings - ask/roleplay blog 4 the house md duckligns

1/2 of @meanwhile-on-the-road, the other half is pookie @sillyhyperfixator

@house-md-referrer - house md references

@theindierockcafe - writing blog

this will be mostly reblogs of my silly mutuals/my fyp, i try to make original content often! I ❤️ REBLOGGING ART YOU SHOULD DO IT TOO!!!! hope we can get along! ask me whatever! i don’t know! be nice and respectful cause i’m a minor!

SPAM MY ASK BOX :3 create lore, send me images, ask for comfort, WHATEVER!!!! im friendly and ill answer your ask eventually.

disclaimer; i live in the us and a snowflake so im occasionally political, nothing too extreme im just scared 👍 i also don’t spoiler tag!! sorry!

if you want me to share your fundraiser; give me some time to verify you!!!! i promise im not ignoring you!!

blinkies made in the blinkie cafe :3

[z0mbieb0ybyersblog]

request rules!

HOW TO REQUEST

— requests can be sent through my inbox! aka the button on my profile that says request

— state the character, romantic or platonic, the format of the request, and what you want with it

— do you have any specifics for the reader? male, female, blonde, poc, etc?

— PLEASE ACTUALLY SPECIFY WHAT YOU WANT WITH YOUR REQUEST!! ITS VERY HARD FOT ME TO WRITE SOMETHING THAT JUST SAYS "___ x reader (blank)" WITH NO FURTHER EXPLANATION! GIVE ME A PLOT IDEA! And if you want include a prompt you want in it!

WHAT I WILL WRITE:

└▸

male, female, and gender neutral reader

or no reader, I do ships too!!

alternative universe: soulmates, coffee shop, roommates, royal, bookstore, fake relationship, coworkers, neighbors, flower shop, library, bodyguard, modern era, band/rockstar, celebrity, mermaid, pirate, teachers (you can also mix them in your request, like asking for bookstore and coffee shop au! if that makes sense)

Headcanons, one-shots, drabble, imagine, etc.

poly relationships, whether it be character x reader x character or character x character x character 

angst

fluff

smut

omega verse

WHAT I WONT WRITE:

└▸

illegal ships (incest or underage)

dark or yandere

abuse

abortion

pregnancy

someone having cancer

rape/sexual assault

canonically gay characters with fem identifying readers/characters, same thing with canonically lesbian characters with masc identifying readers/characters (platonically is fine, romantically isnt)

character list

bolded means they’re my favorite characters to write!

DOCTOR WHO

Nine, Ten, Eleventh, Thirteen, Rose Tyler, Martha Jones, Jack Harkness, Donna Noble

RED, WHITE, & ROYAL BLUE

Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry, June Claremont-Diaz, Nora Holleran, Bea

TED LASSO

Ted Lasso, Jamie Tartt, Roy Kent, Keeley Jones, Rebecca Welton

STRANGER THINGS

Nancy Wheeler, Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley, Eddie Munson

THE OUTSIDERS

Ponyboy Curtis, Johnny Cade, Sodapop Curtis, Darry Curtis, Steve Randall, Twobit Matthews, Dallas Winston

MARVEL

Matt Murdock, Peter Parker (Tobey, Andrew, Tom), Bucky Barnes, Clint Barton, Loki, Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff

[more to be added]

911 FOX

Evan Buckley, Eddie Diaz, Maddie Buckley, Howie Han

STAR WARS

Luke Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)

[more to be added]

HARRY POTTER

— golden trio era

Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, Cedric Diggory, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Oliver Wood, Draco Malfoy

— marauders era

Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, Lily Evans, Pandora Lovegood, Regulus Black, Dorcas Meadows, Marlene McKinnon, Barty Crouch Jr, Evan Roiser, Alice Fortescue, Mary MacDonald, Narcissa Black

[If you want one of these characters, like Remus for example to be older like during the Harry Potter movies let me know!]

— legacy era

Sebastian Sallow, Amit Thakkar, Poppy Sweeting, Natsai Onai, Garreth Weasley, Ominis Gaunt

[cinnamokittykat]

Puppy Love Chapter 2: Strange Dreams

Also I choose to interpret Lilith's actions like how you would interpret someone in the real world taking in a sick/stray animal, just with human context added to it. So, yes, Lilith is a bit (very) dumb for taking König in like that, but how heartless could you be to leave an injured animal in the woods like that? TW: Body image issues, Lilith has a very different interpretation of her body than König does, König is a very mild pervert

Chapter Text

The sun shined through the pink curtains and across Lilith's face. Her eyes fluttered open. Waking up in her large, plush, pink and white bed was one of the many pleasures in her life. Her mattress was one of those super soft ones that you could sink into, and Lilith relished in it. She lay in bed for a minute and checked her phone.

Ding!

Lilith clicked on the text from her best friend, Monica.

"Hey girl, just got home from visiting my parents." Five attachments

"Prettyyyyyy, how was that?"

"Good, I'm just happy to see them, they won't be around forever." "We went out to dinner, which they paid for, which is always awesomeeeeeee!!!!"

"Niceeeee. We gotta go out some time together."

"Yes girlllll!" "Anyways, what's up with you?"

"Oh, not much, just preparing for reopening." "I had a really strange dream last night though."

"Ooooooo, tell me!!!"

"Well, I met this really big guy, like, 200-something centimeters type of tall. Also like, some sort of dog/wolf hybrid. He was injured so I took him in and cleaned him up, and he just kind of lived with me then? Strange shit."

"Dreams are just so weirddddd. Well, was he hot at least? Lol."

"... yes."

"Lmaooooo, anyways, when are you free? I want to just live my best basic girl life with you."

"I need to check, probably in a couple of days." "Mall and coffee sound good?"

"Omg yes!!! Alright, I've got to go make breakfast for the wife and me, talk later!!!"

Lilith smiled and got out of bed. Monica was the first person she made friends with after moving to this country. In a place where she felt alone as ever, the bubbly femme lesbian cat shined through and took her in. Since then, they would live their best girly lives together when she could be pried away from her cuddly masc. She considered Monica a blessing from the heavens, marriage material even, if she was gay.

Lilith walked down to the bathroom, still thinking about the dream. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before walking downstairs to make breakfast. She was still in her pink, lacy babydoll top and underwear as she walked toward the kitchen.

"Hallo Lilith!" König said cheerfully. The smell of fresh coffee wafted through the air.

"Good morning Köni-" Lilith screeched to a halt. It wasn't a dream after all. It only felt dreamlike.

Well, at least he made coffee. But Lilith was standing there in underwear. König turned around with a mug of coffee before averting his eyes.

"I'm so sorry! I kind of forgot you were here, I don't have guests in this house that often!" Lilith rushed upstairs to put on her pants.

Poor König just stood there, embarrassed. He was thankful for his hood more than ever because he knew he was blushing bright red. He hated even more that he liked what he saw. Thank Gott Lilith was upstairs because his furiously wagging tail betrayed him otherwise. He hoped she didn't notice that; he was undoubtedly done for if so.

You have got to take control of yourself! She did something that any kind person would do, and now you are being a pervert! König thought to himself. He shook the sight of her plush thighs out of his mind and sat down with his coffee, placing hers in the microwave to keep it warm.

Meanwhile, Lilith sat upstairs and thought about how her disgustingly big thighs and pudgy tummy were on display for a man she had just met to see. Good thing she wasn't looking for anything in him because she certainly wasn't getting it now. He left me because I'm like this; why should I expect someone else to be interested?

Lilith returned, now wearing a more modest pair of white sweatpants. She opened the microwave and took out her coffee, stirring cream and sugar into it before sitting across from König.

"Again, I'm really sorry about that, I rarely have guests, and when I do, it's my close friends. Also I maybe kind of thought that this whole thing was a weird dream."

"It is fine, I understand," König replied awkwardly. "You have way better coffee than the mud-wasser they had on base. Now I can drink to enjoy it, rather than just to stay awake while filing paperwork."

"Thank you for making coffee, König." Lilith smiled. "Filing paperwork, hm? Thought you were a fierce soldier." Lilith teased dryly.

"Oh, I was! But we all have paperwork to file sometimes."

"Ugh, paperwork. If you think what you had was bad, try running a business. So. much. paperwork. I mean, thank god they keep you in check, but sometimes I feel like I'm about to drown in a sea of paper!" She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee.

"Can I ask more about your bakery?" König asked in his accented voice.

"Yeah, actually my bakery is on this property a few hundred meters away. Makes the commute easy. It used to be my grandmother's, then I took over a few years ago."

"Ah. I wonder if I ever had something from it. On occasion when people left base they would bring back food to share."

"It's entirely possible, I remember ringing up some military discounts."

"What do you sell?"

"Oh, the usual, bread, cakes, cookies, various pastries. I'm so glad you can help, I think it'll increase productivity, sometimes we sell out of really popular items right before a rush and it's horrible!"

"You have done a lot for me, I would love to repay you."

Lilith hesitated and took a sip of her coffee. She thought back to the gash on König's side. What could he have done to get that? She cleared her throat.

"Uhm, König? If you don't mind me asking, how long were you in the woods?"

"Oh. A... a week? A little less? Do not worry, I did not bring fleas into your home." He chuckled.

"I just wondered, because you had such a nasty gash..."

"Ja, that came from an accident with a tree branch. I was trying to pick some apples, and I fell and the bark cut me." He looked sheepishly at her. "Those were your apples..."

"Yes, they were. I've made a cake with some of them, would you like to try a slice?"

His ears perked up, and his tail started wagging. "Ja, bitte!"

Lilith grinned and went to cut a slice of cake for the both of them.

"It's my grandmother's recipe, I'm still trying to make it as good as I remember hers being."

Lilith savored her bite, taking note of the flavor and texture before noting it down. She eagerly awaited the dog boy's reaction. König took a bite, and she heard something thumping against the wood of the chair. She looked under the table to investigate, only to discover that it was his tail hitting the chair's back.

She looked back up at him, and he averted his gaze.

"Seems like you like it, hm?"

"Yes, very much." He said, grabbing his tail and holding it in place. Lilith thought for a second.

"So, you can't really control it?"

"My tail? Sort of, but it is easier said than done. Like a uhhhhhh... never mind." His eyes went wide.

"Oh, so that's why those words are the same in German!" Lilith giggled. "Sorry, I have the same sense of humor as a 12-year-old boy."

König coughed.

"About what we were talking about earlier, I was not in a good place in those woods. I drank a bit too much, got lost, and was too depressed to do much about it. Also just wanted to run away."

Lilith's gaze softened. She very much understood the feeling of wanting to run away from your problems.

"I thought you deserved to know since I do not know how long I will be here."

"Thanks for being honest. I get it. Life really hits you in the face sometimes, y'know? I mean, I can't imagine having to let go of a good job because of things you can't control."

König felt a pang of guilt in his chest, having not been honest about the reason for his discharge. But he decided he didn't want to scare her; there was a better time for that talk.

"Oh, by the way, a friend of mine wants to go shopping soon, I'm guessing you don't have a lot of clothing, do you?"

"Nein, lost a couple of my belongings in the forest."

"Well, how about we go shopping tomorrow? I'll just check with my friend, make sure she's okay with it and all."

"Ja sounds gut. I appreciate it."

Lilith got up and started putting dishes in the dishwasher.

"Want to see the bakery in a minute? We need to set up some new furniture, it just arrived today."

"Okay, ja."

"Okay, just lemme get changed into work clothes real quick."

Lilith ran upstairs, picking out jeans and a plain black shirt. She tied her hair up just enough to not fall on her face and ran downstairs.

"I know it may not look like it, but I do have non-pink and white clothing items."

"Your clothing looks very nice, I would not want to dirty it if I were you." König replied awkwardly.

They walked down to the bakery together. Lilith opened the back door and flipped on the lights. The backdoor was the entrance to an empty, pristine kitchen. König made sure to quickly stomp his boots outside to get rid of any mud or dirt.

Lilith watched the mountain of a man bend down to get through the doorway.

"Do you think you'll be able to lift things without opening your wound? Now that I think about it..."

"Should be fine, I changed my wound dressings this morning."

"...Alright, just take it easy big guy."

König was pretty used to being the tallest person in the room. It benefited him on the battlefield; no one wanted to mess with him or Horangi. It was a double-edged sword, though. Off of the battlefield, women would cross the street when walking near him, and children would hide between their mother's legs. Other men just tended to avoid him, assuming he was as aggressive as his size would imply.

He didn't blame them; he wouldn't want to deal with an angry German Shepherd either; they are called "fur missiles" for a reason. The fact that Lilith was letting him sleep in the same house baffled him. She must be an angel sent down to save him. No one in their right mind would do the same.

Lilith walked to the front room, which was currently empty except for huge furniture boxes. Oh lord, there's so much to assemble... thank god I have help. I'll make him help move boxes closer to where they should go. I'll build the furniture on my own unless it becomes a two-person job somehow...

König watched as the woman before him surveyed the bakery, taking note of dimensions, drawing up quick floor plan sketches, erasing them, and shaking her head in dissatisfaction until she seemed to have settled on a layout.

"Ok, I think I have it! König, will you please help me move those boxes over there?"

Lilith went to lift the box from one side, only to watch in amazement as König lifted the entirety of a small table with ease. She moved to the next box and started pushing it, only to have the dog man take it from her again.

"Are you sure you don't need help?" Lilith queried.

"I am gut, this is nothing to me!" König replied, sounding a little proud of himself even.

Lilith laughed to herself. Well, he was in the military; those arms didn't just come out of nowhere... She shook the memory of seeing him shirtless out of her head, remembering what had happened earlier this morning. She vividly remembered the moment she saw the dating apps on her ex-husband's phone, the texts from all those women, the pictures of them, all skinny and perfect...

König's ears swiveled, almost like he sensed the mood change in Lilith.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"It's nothing, really."

"You are sad, I can tell. It smells different now."

"I don't wanna talk about it."

König decided not to pry further, even though it bothered him to know that something was wrong. Lilith started opening boxes and assembling things. A few minutes passed, and her mood cleared up.

A few hours later, they stood beside each other, looking at their handiwork. The bakery was still not ready for opening, and Lilith still had to put up some miscellaneous fall decorations, but all the furniture was set up exactly as she imagined.

"Thank you so much, König, this was a big help! Tomorrow I'm going to add some autumn touches."

"It was my pleasure to help, Lilith."

They walked back to the house together, chattering happily about all sorts of things.

"I'm going to order takeout tonight, I don't feel like cooking. Anything you want?"

"Whatever you want, I am easy."

Lilith went upstairs to change into some more comfortable clothes. The large man settled on the couch and texted his best and former sniper friend, Horangi.

"hallo, what have I missed lately? :D"

A minute passes before Biz! Biz!

"Oh, not much. Things on base are normal. It's been strange without you there though, man. They're trying to keep me off the field until they find a replacement. That asshole who got you fired is still here though."

"scheisse, they still believe him? him?!?!? :("

"Yeah. I guess it was less expensive to let you go, it's harder to hire another trainer as skilled as him."

"he kept antagonizing us all outside of training!" "i watched him kick the prey operators to the ground in the hallways!"

"Me too, it is the military, but there was no purpose for that other than his twisted entertainment."

"yeah :((("

"What's life like on the outside, big guy?"

"don't call me that:(((" "its been weird, i met a girl, and she's so nice to me, and i have a place to stay now in exchange for working at her bakery!"

"Wait, you met a girl? What's she like? Is she pretty?"

"well, shes really kind, she found me in the woods and saved me from death or a really painful infection. she can cook really well, and she runs her own business. also she crotchets these adorable toys to decorate. shes smaller than me, i want to say... 160-165 cm tall? and a soft body, what is the word? chubby? and she smiles a lot."

"I'm happy for you, man. Were you together before you left base?"

"together? oh no, its not like that."

"... Idk man, seems like you like her just a bit." "Besides, it's about time you met a girl, you're 34 and on track to becoming a tough old man!"

"am not! >:(" "shes too good for me anyways."

"Got to go, let's catch up at the bar sometime dude."

"ok, see you later :)"

König put his phone down. Why does he always tease me? I can't like a woman I just met!

"I just ordered, food should arrive in 30 minutes."

Lilith came downstairs, wearing short jean shorts and a t-shirt. König once again was thankful for the mask as she bent down to grab the TV remote right in front of him. Suddenly, the room felt hot, and his pants felt tighter than usual. He panicked and grabbed a pillow, pressing his back to the cushions to keep his tail from wagging as her thighs squished on the couch right next to him. Well, maybe a bit, but it's because there aren't a lot of women on base! Get a hold of yourself!

They enjoyed a show together that evening, König aggressively clinging to that pillow on his lap.

The sun shined through the pink curtains and across Lilith's face. Her eyes fluttered open. Waking up in her large, plush, pink and white bed was one of the many pleasures in her life. Her mattress was one of those super soft ones that you could sink into, and Lilith relished in it. She lay in bed for a minute and checked her phone.

Ding!

Lilith clicked on the text from her best friend, Monica.

"Hey girl, just got home from visiting my parents." Five attachments

"Prettyyyyyy, how was that?"

"Good, I'm just happy to see them, they won't be around forever." "We went out to dinner, which they paid for, which is always awesomeeeeeee!!!!"

"Niceeeee. We gotta go out some time together."

"Yes girlllll!" "Anyways, what's up with you?"

"Oh, not much, just preparing for reopening." "I had a really strange dream last night though."

"Ooooooo, tell me!!!"

"Well, I met this really big guy, like, 200-something centimeters type of tall. Also like, some sort of dog/wolf hybrid. He was injured so I took him in and cleaned him up, and he just kind of lived with me then? Strange shit."

"Dreams are just so weirddddd. Well, was he hot at least? Lol."

"... yes."

"Lmaooooo, anyways, when are you free? I want to just live my best basic girl life with you."

"I need to check, probably in a couple of days." "Mall and coffee sound good?"

"Omg yes!!! Alright, I've got to go make breakfast for the wife and me, talk later!!!"

Lilith smiled and got out of bed. Monica was the first person she made friends with after moving to this country. In a place where she felt alone as ever, the bubbly femme lesbian cat shined through and took her in. Since then, they would live their best girly lives together when she could be pried away from her cuddly masc. She considered Monica a blessing from the heavens, marriage material even, if she was gay.

Lilith walked down to the bathroom, still thinking about the dream. She brushed her teeth and washed her face before walking downstairs to make breakfast. She was still in her pink, lacy babydoll top and underwear as she walked toward the kitchen.

"Hallo Lilith!" König said cheerfully. The smell of fresh coffee wafted through the air.

"Good morning Köni-" Lilith screeched to a halt. It wasn't a dream after all. It only felt dreamlike.

Well, at least he made coffee. But Lilith was standing there in underwear. König turned around with a mug of coffee before averting his eyes.

"I'm so sorry! I kind of forgot you were here, I don't have guests in this house that often!" Lilith rushed upstairs to put on her pants.

Poor König just stood there, embarrassed. He was thankful for his hood more than ever because he knew he was blushing bright red. He hated even more that he liked what he saw. Thank Gott Lilith was upstairs because his furiously wagging tail betrayed him otherwise. He hoped she didn't notice that; he was undoubtedly done for if so.

You have got to take control of yourself! She did something that any kind person would do, and now you are being a pervert! König thought to himself. He shook the sight of her plush thighs out of his mind and sat down with his coffee, placing hers in the microwave to keep it warm.

Meanwhile, Lilith sat upstairs and thought about how her disgustingly big thighs and pudgy tummy were on display for a man she had just met to see. Good thing she wasn't looking for anything in him because she certainly wasn't getting it now. He left me because I'm like this; why should I expect someone else to be interested?

Lilith returned, now wearing a more modest pair of white sweatpants. She opened the microwave and took out her coffee, stirring cream and sugar into it before sitting across from König.

"Again, I'm really sorry about that, I rarely have guests, and when I do, it's my close friends. Also I maybe kind of thought that this whole thing was a weird dream."

"It is fine, I understand," König replied awkwardly. "You have way better coffee than the mud-wasser they had on base. Now I can drink to enjoy it, rather than just to stay awake while filing paperwork."

"Thank you for making coffee, König." Lilith smiled. "Filing paperwork, hm? Thought you were a fierce soldier." Lilith teased dryly.

"Oh, I was! But we all have paperwork to file sometimes."

"Ugh, paperwork. If you think what you had was bad, try running a business. So. much. paperwork. I mean, thank god they keep you in check, but sometimes I feel like I'm about to drown in a sea of paper!" She rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee.

"Can I ask more about your bakery?" König asked in his accented voice.

"Yeah, actually my bakery is on this property a few hundred meters away. Makes the commute easy. It used to be my grandmother's, then I took over a few years ago."

"Ah. I wonder if I ever had something from it. On occasion when people left base they would bring back food to share."

"It's entirely possible, I remember ringing up some military discounts."

"What do you sell?"

"Oh, the usual, bread, cakes, cookies, various pastries. I'm so glad you can help, I think it'll increase productivity, sometimes we sell out of really popular items right before a rush and it's horrible!"

"You have done a lot for me, I would love to repay you."

Lilith hesitated and took a sip of her coffee. She thought back to the gash on König's side. What could he have done to get that? She cleared her throat.

"Uhm, König? If you don't mind me asking, how long were you in the woods?"

"Oh. A... a week? A little less? Do not worry, I did not bring fleas into your home." He chuckled.

"I just wondered, because you had such a nasty gash..."

"Ja, that came from an accident with a tree branch. I was trying to pick some apples, and I fell and the bark cut me." He looked sheepishly at her. "Those were your apples..."

"Yes, they were. I've made a cake with some of them, would you like to try a slice?"

His ears perked up, and his tail started wagging. "Ja, bitte!"

Lilith grinned and went to cut a slice of cake for the both of them.

"It's my grandmother's recipe, I'm still trying to make it as good as I remember hers being."

Lilith savored her bite, taking note of the flavor and texture before noting it down. She eagerly awaited the dog boy's reaction. König took a bite, and she heard something thumping against the wood of the chair. She looked under the table to investigate, only to discover that it was his tail hitting the chair's back.

She looked back up at him, and he averted his gaze.

"Seems like you like it, hm?"

"Yes, very much." He said, grabbing his tail and holding it in place. Lilith thought for a second.

"So, you can't really control it?"

"My tail? Sort of, but it is easier said than done. Like a uhhhhhh... never mind." His eyes went wide.

"Oh, so that's why those words are the same in German!" Lilith giggled. "Sorry, I have the same sense of humor as a 12-year-old boy."

König coughed.

"About what we were talking about earlier, I was not in a good place in those woods. I drank a bit too much, got lost, and was too depressed to do much about it. Also just wanted to run away."

Lilith's gaze softened. She very much understood the feeling of wanting to run away from your problems.

"I thought you deserved to know since I do not know how long I will be here."

"Thanks for being honest. I get it. Life really hits you in the face sometimes, y'know? I mean, I can't imagine having to let go of a good job because of things you can't control."

König felt a pang of guilt in his chest, having not been honest about the reason for his discharge. But he decided he didn't want to scare her; there was a better time for that talk.

"Oh, by the way, a friend of mine wants to go shopping soon, I'm guessing you don't have a lot of clothing, do you?"

"Nein, lost a couple of my belongings in the forest."

"Well, how about we go shopping tomorrow? I'll just check with my friend, make sure she's okay with it and all."

"Ja sounds gut. I appreciate it."

Lilith got up and started putting dishes in the dishwasher.

"Want to see the bakery in a minute? We need to set up some new furniture, it just arrived today."

"Okay, ja."

"Okay, just lemme get changed into work clothes real quick."

Lilith ran upstairs, picking out jeans and a plain black shirt. She tied her hair up just enough to not fall on her face and ran downstairs.

"I know it may not look like it, but I do have non-pink and white clothing items."

"Your clothing looks very nice, I would not want to dirty it if I were you." König replied awkwardly.

They walked down to the bakery together. Lilith opened the back door and flipped on the lights. The backdoor was the entrance to an empty, pristine kitchen. König made sure to quickly stomp his boots outside to get rid of any mud or dirt.

Lilith watched the mountain of a man bend down to get through the doorway.

"Do you think you'll be able to lift things without opening your wound? Now that I think about it..."

"Should be fine, I changed my wound dressings this morning."

"...Alright, just take it easy big guy."

König was pretty used to being the tallest person in the room. It benefited him on the battlefield; no one wanted to mess with him or Horangi. It was a double-edged sword, though. Off of the battlefield, women would cross the street when walking near him, and children would hide between their mother's legs. Other men just tended to avoid him, assuming he was as aggressive as his size would imply.

He didn't blame them; he wouldn't want to deal with an angry German Shepherd either; they are called "fur missiles" for a reason. The fact that Lilith was letting him sleep in the same house baffled him. She must be an angel sent down to save him. No one in their right mind would do the same.

Lilith walked to the front room, which was currently empty except for huge furniture boxes. Oh lord, there's so much to assemble... thank god I have help. I'll make him help move boxes closer to where they should go. I'll build the furniture on my own unless it becomes a two-person job somehow...

König watched as the woman before him surveyed the bakery, taking note of dimensions, drawing up quick floor plan sketches, erasing them, and shaking her head in dissatisfaction until she seemed to have settled on a layout.

"Ok, I think I have it! König, will you please help me move those boxes over there?"

Lilith went to lift the box from one side, only to watch in amazement as König lifted the entirety of a small table with ease. She moved to the next box and started pushing it, only to have the dog man take it from her again.

"Are you sure you don't need help?" Lilith queried.

"I am gut, this is nothing to me!" König replied, sounding a little proud of himself even.

Lilith laughed to herself. Well, he was in the military; those arms didn't just come out of nowhere... She shook the memory of seeing him shirtless out of her head, remembering what had happened earlier this morning. She vividly remembered the moment she saw the dating apps on her ex-husband's phone, the texts from all those women, the pictures of them, all skinny and perfect...

König's ears swiveled, almost like he sensed the mood change in Lilith.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"It's nothing, really."

"You are sad, I can tell. It smells different now."

"I don't wanna talk about it."

König decided not to pry further, even though it bothered him to know that something was wrong. Lilith started opening boxes and assembling things. A few minutes passed, and her mood cleared up.

A few hours later, they stood beside each other, looking at their handiwork. The bakery was still not ready for opening, and Lilith still had to put up some miscellaneous fall decorations, but all the furniture was set up exactly as she imagined.

"Thank you so much, König, this was a big help! Tomorrow I'm going to add some autumn touches."

"It was my pleasure to help, Lilith."

They walked back to the house together, chattering happily about all sorts of things.

"I'm going to order takeout tonight, I don't feel like cooking. Anything you want?"

"Whatever you want, I am easy."

Lilith went upstairs to change into some more comfortable clothes. The large man settled on the couch and texted his best and former sniper friend, Horangi.

"hallo, what have I missed lately? :D"

A minute passes before Biz! Biz!

"Oh, not much. Things on base are normal. It's been strange without you there though, man. They're trying to keep me off the field until they find a replacement. That asshole who got you fired is still here though."

"scheisse, they still believe him? him?!?!? :("

"Yeah. I guess it was less expensive to let you go, it's harder to hire another trainer as skilled as him."

"he kept antagonizing us all outside of training!" "i watched him kick the prey operators to the ground in the hallways!"

"Me too, it is the military, but there was no purpose for that other than his twisted entertainment."

"yeah :((("

"What's life like on the outside, big guy?"

"don't call me that:(((" "its been weird, i met a girl, and she's so nice to me, and i have a place to stay now in exchange for working at her bakery!"

"Wait, you met a girl? What's she like? Is she pretty?"

"well, shes really kind, she found me in the woods and saved me from death or a really painful infection. she can cook really well, and she runs her own business. also she crotchets these adorable toys to decorate. shes smaller than me, i want to say... 160-165 cm tall? and a soft body, what is the word? chubby? and she smiles a lot."

"I'm happy for you, man. Were you together before you left base?"

"together? oh no, its not like that."

"... Idk man, seems like you like her just a bit." "Besides, it's about time you met a girl, you're 34 and on track to becoming a tough old man!"

"am not! >:(" "shes too good for me anyways."

"Got to go, let's catch up at the bar sometime dude."

"ok, see you later :)"

König put his phone down. Why does he always tease me? I can't like a woman I just met!

"I just ordered, food should arrive in 30 minutes."

Lilith came downstairs, wearing short jean shorts and a t-shirt. König once again was thankful for the mask as she bent down to grab the TV remote right in front of him. Suddenly, the room felt hot, and his pants felt tighter than usual. He panicked and grabbed a pillow, pressing his back to the cushions to keep his tail from wagging as her thighs squished on the couch right next to him. Get a hold of yourself! He thought.

They enjoyed a show together that evening, König aggressively clinging to that pillow on his lap.

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen! I’m not a lesbian, but I recently realized I was butch. Do you have any advice for looking more masculine?

I have short hair and I’m trying to put my shoulders back more and be more confident. I see myself as butch, and I feel comfortable and confident using that word for myself. But I’m also very small and I think people read me as a child/young woman, which disheartens me.

I guess this was half vent, but also asking for advice if you have it. It’s very nice to see your confidence and positivity. Thank you for your blog.

Hi. I am glad you are slowly working towards gaining confidence and contentment in the way you naturally exist.

Here are a few things to keep in mind as you try on clothes and hair and see what works:

If you are not a lesbian "butch" is not the right term or word to describe you or your experience. Masc or Masc Presenting, perhaps Tomboy (or Tomboi) or any number of terms meant to fit women who present or are more masculine than women are "supposed to" in our culture but are not lesbians.

Being butch for me requires zero effort. I get perceived as such with or without clothes, long hair, short hair, sitting at a fancy dinner or digging a post hole. Being a masculine women really requires no work for you. Clothes and hair etc are just an outward expression of what makes you feel most at ease so don't be too concerned about what others "think". If you are ... you just are masculine.

Being seen as a young woman is not an insult, and it does not mean they don't see your masculinity. They read you as younger and a woman. No judgement need apply.

Confidence comes with many things.

Experience taught me i don't need to rely on anyone to love who I am. BUT it took lesbians and other friends to sort of show me that my masculinity was real and not an oddity, nor was I alone. Once I realized that I am not "doing woman wrong" because I don't check enough feminine boxes I became more and more confident dressing the way I wanted.

Clothes and hair help us to feel better about ourselves> if you like the way something looks on you wear it and your confidence will grow. Let YOU be the judge of what looks and feels right, not anyone else.

I am 5'3, by no means a big woman. "Pocket sized Dyke" as my friend Deb says LOL. I was called son, sport, young man into my mid 20's. No biggie. What someone calls me or sees me as does not change who I am. Humans are visual categorizers, its natural and based on their experience and cultural influences. It truly makes no matter and you can use humor to correct them if you want. That leaves them with a good feeling and you made a difference in how another person interacted with a masculine women.. a positive difference.

Surround yourself with others of your sexuality, whatever that is and find friends who support you and love you. Who might see something that is a good fit and encourage you to try something you might not have without them cheering you on. If you like it great, if not, don't wear it again.

Lastly. Personality is separate from physical presentation and masculine energy, both for butches and other sexualities. We can love lots of things that our culture "genders" but are not. Butch and being perceived and existing as masculine is not a gender to me. We can love puppies and pink and sewing and fixing cars and cutting fire wood. Hobbies, jobs, interests are not reliant on our natural energy that we have in the world.

So love what you love, let people see you as they see you and embrace your masculine energy as a part of your very existence. Dress in what makes you feel happy and that confidence will show and become real. Bring positivity to your experiences and interactions with others. A smile and hello can disarm those who feel unsure of you because you don't fit their "box" of cultural norms.

You are on the right track!

[llycaons]

what if the swords were people? and other speculation: collab between me and jae @dragonji

Based on appearance only I think bichen (trans lesbian) is a very well-dressed little lady..she has short person energy. She likes fashion and is always dressed in heavy winter robes. She may be a little vain but she has a good heart and thinks it's fun to vanquish evil.

Suibian (masc lesbian) is tall and stoic and works out a lot. She has a little fang and she likes outdoorsy stuff like hiking. She's also very handy and likes to craft things out of wood. She is very deeply loyal.

Sandu is obsessed with reptiles/amphibians. Swamp lady! a bit creepy and wet but contrasts w Zidian in that shes really attached to her home and anyone who lives there and she might not say it outright but she's constantly doing little things for even random ppl she barely knows if they come from Yunmeng.

She can be offputting when she wants but mostly she just does outdoorsy stuff (gets along w Suibian before the whole brother breakdown wwx n jc go thru- or still gets along well just doesn't have much opportunity postcanon?)

ALSO she is a good cook. Spiciest and maybe strange ingredient choices but a good cook nonetheless. She shld be younger/middle aged at most as another point to constrast Zidian... Rly think shes secretly a huge softie tho she just has to trust you enough to show it.

She's a young person who has an old soul...she barely gets used in the show so it probably makes her sad. in her old age like jc I feel she's gotten more jaded and lonely as everyone left or died. She and suibian used to be close before suibian's fierce loyalty to wwx shut her away from the world.

Meanwhile Baxia is six and half feet tall and beefy as hell. Also a lesbian AND autistic. While she may seem intimidating, she has a huge soft spot for young children and is a great caretaker. Like Bichen she thinks vanquishing evil rules and like Suibian she loves to work out.

Suihua is an elderly and dignified butler. She was loyal to the father and she is loyal to the son as well. She has expensive tastes and likes sweets.

XY's sword jiangzai is an tumblr witch/egirl. Bit unhinged.

Hensheng is a contortionist who sometimes freaks out people by bending into shapes randomly. She'd be one of those people who makes herself very forgettable and doesn't stand out but Knows all the gossip bc ppl just forget to be on guard around her.

Another idea for Hensheng i think she Would be a like. Psychology + body language fanatic like constantly analyzing ppl and using that to determine how to interact but not always in a bad way at least at first i think its well meaning and comes from insecurity but gets to the point where she has all these preconcieved notions abt ppl and acts accordingly around them. She wouldnt share any of this with others either and she is really observant so it typically ends up being at least somewhat correct.

Fuxue (femme) and Shuanghu (butch) are old married social worker lesbians.

They have an opposite dynamic of xxc and sl's, where Shuanghua is a little blunt and can come off as p cold despite caring a lot (also autistic btw<3) and Fuxue is really easygoing and the socializer of the two.

Fuxue means "brushing away snow" and I just think she would be really motivated by making ppl's lives better and also very very sweet to her wife.

Shuanghua is a botanist who studies medicinal herbs but is also a gardener who just grows a ton of flowers for the hell of it.

And now...the others

Chenqing is a very pale and eerie-looking little girl who can't speak, only sing or scream. She often hides behind wwx's robes until she is called forward. Postres after reuniting with wwx she's more relaxed and friendly, able to find joy in the world rather than just controlling the dead. She loves to sing.

Wangji is a tall woman with a strong presence and a beautiful voice. I see her as very motherly and kind…she wears lovely golden and white robes. Also, bisexual.

Zidian is a seasoned older bodyguard. She is deeply loyal to the Jiangs but also rather ruthless and doesn't care about who she hurts. She has her job and she does it

Nhs's fan is a very well-educated and mischievous lady who likes to eavesdrop.

[noodles-07]

Hi Orion!! This might be weird buuut any chance you know or can think of any earthy-ish gender neutral or slightly fem names for a nonbinary lesbian who falls in love with a cottagecore lesbian named clementine that lives in the woods with her cat and the unnamed one is like the more stable one while clementine is a force of nature (affectionate)?

I'm making ocs but names are stupid lol ~ Paris

djkfghjkhgdfkhdjf yes absolutely

Arden means great forest! It's traditionally a boys name but it definitely walks the line between masc and femme

Holly, Juniper and Laurel and some of my favorite plant names that aren't trees!

Aspen/Aspin, Birch and Rowan are cool tree names

if you want ones that aren't just plants I like Forrest, Everest and River!

And then there are Rocks,,,,, Jade, Amethyst, Amber, Ruby, Sapphire (has the added bonus of sounding like Sappho!), or Emerald (could use Emmy for short)

and some assorting others that I like: Elowen (meaning elm), Bay, Summer, Clay, Sage, Briar, Blossom, or Meadow!

I hope these help :D

[stillwooozy]

that answer made my entire week thank you ❤ and absolutely not creepy. not creepy at all. you're not shallow or incoherent, you're human, and very handsome and I'm incredibly flattered. i like your vibes too. but in your first response to me you deadass told me that we should test mattresses together so I know you have some good flirting skills in there somewhere. guess you just have to keep trying. cuz, u know, practice makes perfect <3

either way glad to know that my strategy of being as blunt as possible and unashamedly sappy is paying off.

and thanks! im thinking of dying it bright neon pink next. but im sure my blue hair is no match for whatever blue hair/wig you were rocking for your infamous mlp rainbow dash cosplay.

yeah you're not sapio-sexual, you're freedom sexual right? hard-on for freedom or something. idk. your words not mine. and maybe it's the fact that we're both just struggling college students and you give off the tired academic vibe, but i do think you're smart too, and it's incredibly attractive.

I probably would like your music taste but outside of a handful I've never heard of half the bands you listen to. guess you have to give me some reccommendations?

I've started listening to still woozy cuz it's your username and also of like half the lesbians I've seen on Her, (off-topic but im not using that right now btw. im single so this isn't some weird internet flirting on the side thing or anything (gotta say tho flirting thru the tumblr ask box is a first for me)) it's their most listened to band so figured I'd give it a try. rn my fav songs of theirs are kenny and get down.

favorite song would have to be everybody talks by neon trees. nothing tops it. not sure i have a favorite album but a few that I've listened to recently that were no skip albums were hozier's wasteland baby ep(best songs of his: be, wasteland baby, in the woods somewhere, work song, and arsonist's lullaby), petals for armor by hayley williams(best songs: simmer, cinnamon, and dead horse), and public void by Penelope scott(best songs: sweet hibiscus tea, cigarette ahegao, and moonsickness). or really any song by Penelope scott. sorry teach, i missed the deadline, but i think this many songs makes up for it.

also you like emo folk right? check out the crane wives. they don't make my top 3 albums but they're still amazing. tounges and teeth, curses, and the hand that feeds are my favorites of theirs.

btw i wanna make sure im not misunderstanding ur 2nd-to-last paragraph. i'm not a chick but not a guy either. enby all the way. i tend to mix between masc and feminine and am ok with any pronouns, but im not a fan of being called gendered terms (i.e. woman, man, girlfriend, boyfriend, you get the idea). Considering who know who i kin and the entirety of the response before it, I'm assuming that second-to-last paragraph is a green light, but wanted to double check you knew that since i know you tend to lean toward guys. if i misread that and you were just trying to tell me im your type then 1) opps sorry but still good to know info and 2) you're mine too ;)

yea not sure where my first response came from ig I'm more withdrawn now because I know who you are? I'M TRYING. Kinda. We'll see. But you're replied consoled me - it's halloween season - let's head back to my coffin, cross that mattress of list, this is getting personal.

yes yes freedom-sexual, but you can't insult me for that because you are too, it's a package deal, comes with the 'kin. Lmao though I've never used Her but that sounds about right I'm matching usernames w/ a bunch of lesbians preparing for cuffing season, they all have the right idea with that cottage core aesthetic. I still like Still Woozy, wouldn't say he's my favorite artist but I'll keep the username because it feels fitting. But let's make Window our song ;) I like Kenny too but I can't about thinking of... The infamous aot Kenny when I see the title - even if the song is not relevant to him at all - I'm just imagining

On the topic of cuffing season... some long distance cuff is needed :,,( you're strategy for sure is paying off and I'm becoming unable to compete - but damnit I'm TRYING. A for effort? maybe give me a C for execution.

I mean this IS objectively weird flirting - via being through anon ask on a public blog but I'm a-okay with it. and yea my relationship status is single too - I know I mentioned I almost had a gf a few weeks ago but as you know life changed a lot for me recently so that's off. I'm just focusing on myself (and you ;)) right now.

Everybody talks is such a good song. That era of pop alt 2010-2012ish is unbeatable. no shame in still listening to grouplove, mgmt, neon trees, etc. It was just a good era. listening to Kids and Electric feel for the first time was a religious experience. I don't listen to Hozier much anymore but - DAMN that man is talented I saw him in concert and it exceeded expectations. I've never gotten around to listening to a fully album of hayley williams solo stuff but paramore will always hold a place in my heart. I really like the few penelope scott songs I've heard so that's on my list too... Checked out Crane Wives and their music is soft... gentle? Good. something I'd listen to in a nostalgic but melancholic mood if that makes sense.

and NO YEAH I'M SORRY ABOUT THE LAST PARAGRAPH was really just referencing one of your kins and what was posted in my tumblr bio at one point (think it's changed?) apologizes if I used gendered terms, I know you're nb and ofc respect that. Are you sure you're chill with any pronouns? I'll use they/them but if you're in the mood for something more masc or fem just let me know. YEAH I'm not sure if I was clear but yes - from what I know of you - you're my "type". And honestly at this point idk who I lean towards so I'm probably bi but labels are meh, though ig lean towards "guys" and gender nonconforming people, but that's a long story and probably partly based in trauma (the men part - queer people are just preferable because they're objectively cooler and better people). But honestly that doesn't mean much, my last long term partner was a cis girl and I liked her more than basically anyone else I've ever been with. So tldr; it was a bad "joke" and reference to who you kin but feel free to call me out on any bullshit.

uhhh music wise for me I always say my favorite bands are Wilco and The Shins but I'm also into new wave male manipulator music I don't get tired The Shins, The The, Joy Division, The Cure, Radiohead and Interpol (those two not new wave but manipulator-core), etc. But lately my mood is mostly... PUP, Jeff Rosenstock, AJJ, Joyce Manor, Sylvia Plath, Defiance Ohio, Days N Daze, Pat The Bunny, The Mountain Goats, Hotelier.... uhhh yeah just listening a bunch of shit and I can't tell you my favorite songs because while I remember bands my mind is blank on song names. Saw Beach Bunny live the other day. will plug my BFF Ruben Jai on my music list too.

Nah but sincerely thank you for being blunt with that last part making you uncomfortable with gendered terms. I just had a "gay minus Historia and fem-eren" thing going on for a while and yeahhhhhhhh you came along and... felt relevant.

LASTLY NO DON'T BRING UP RAINBOW DASH talking about my brony phase is like... 5th base material lmao

[manicr]

Coming out, Pride month

I thought I'd talk about coming since it's still the last days of pride month, and how different that can be for some kids, using myself as an example.

For some kids there's no dramatic Moment™ but a life lived and sometimes unknown, with pockets of 'outness' and places where the closet exists but only as a polite fiction.

To make some sense of this, I need to go way back for myself. I was always a queer kid; in all senses of the word. Undiagnosed autism was a factor but so were others.

W were many kids in my family, I grew up with 4 of my 5 siblings, a mix of boys and girls and I was the second youngest. In effect, my older brothers helped raise me and my sisters, and my parents had little time for me. They kicked us out to play to get some peace and quiet during the days, and I frankly became somewhat of a feral child, spending time in the woods and playing by myself a lot. Now, this might sound weird when you have 5 siblings, but we were a motley bunch, fought a lot, and played too, and I was autistic af. Being without them was easier and I could do what I wanted, which was usually play with dinosaurs, explore the woods and draw a lot.

I had few friends, who I was intermittently clingy and distant towards. Typical ASD. And I can in hindsight say that by the age of 10-11 that I was queer: Xena Warrior Princess was an awakening -- in my case, it was the villainess Callisto, but Gabrielle and Xena were obviously in love with each other even before it was canon. But it wasn't an 'aha' moment to me. No great fanfares that I wasn't straight or panic about it. I hadn't understood homophobia, and I didn't much care about kissing any 'real' people, even though I was a big shipper of Hercules/Ares and Xena/Gabrielle. I understood slowly that my parents didn't approve of homosexuality or gnc stuff. So I just chalked it up to them being them and hid all that. Though I could never do feminity right. I was often mistaken for a boy as a pre-teen

When I was 12 I had my first kiss -- with a girl. It was on a dare and I didn't think anything of it. I was THAT friend then, with the few friends I had, the overly perverted verbally and clingy physically. Kissing a girl was nothing, but it was also natural. I played at liking boys at this age. Tried to like those snotty prepubescent boys in my school and tried to perform the obligatory boy band fawning. It was Backstreet Boys for me. But I felt nothing, I enjoyed shipping boys more than I did them. Nor did I want a girlfriend really. But my sister pointed out that I was too 'dykey' with my friends. Repeatedly.

When I was 13 I got depressed. It lasted all of 'high school' (sweden: högstadiet 13-15). It was bad. I was self-loathing, suicidal, and hated how I looked and felt. I explored my gender, my sexuality, and tried to find why I felt so wrong. I escaped into fandom. I lost friendships slowly, but I started to realize that they weren't all that good either. I started to realize that I probably wasn't straight, but still cis, and that I wanted to live differently than I did.

In gymnasium (swe: 16-18) I swore that I'd be happier. I came out as bisexual to my friends and school in my first year. I only chose to call myself bi because I liked looking at adult men, but fuck if I didn't like girls my age too. I was outrageously outspoken, without any borders. I dressed like in long leather coats, embroidered shirts, and cargo pants, pseudo-masc flamboyance, or full corsetted loli goth style - feminity taken to the max until it became unattractive or drag.

I let my friendships be intense, physically and emotionally, but never crossed the borders my straight friends set. Though they probably should have set them a little harder so I'd notice. I was no stranger to making out with my friends, and I had fits of jealously even -- leading me to 'share' boys with them when we made out. But despite this, I was never their girlfriend. Just an overly clingy and perverted friend -- but I was still happy. I felt loved. I kissed with one of my friends who's come out as a lesbian. It was her first kiss. No strings attached, as she said, and there weren't. I went to Pride every year after I turned 16. But I never said a word about myself to my family.

The closet was there, if barely. A polite fiction. The unspoken.

My family had all the chances to know: a gnc daughter who was too 'dykey' with her friends who went to Pride every year and was outspoken in support of queer rights. Who never brought home a boyfriend or said a word about dating. My sister sneered at me and called me a homo and a freak. But we never spoke about it. My parents stopped talking about boyfriends with me.

I left home when I was 19, to study in another city. I did, and I partied too, kissing boys and girls, loving dancing and touching, but I didn't date. I tried, a little but no one interested me more than to touch. I was out at uni. I was out online - I joked that I liked fictional men and real women. At work too. But I never spoke to my family about it, until my little sister had a gay panic moment since her bff was in love with her. I outed myself as she cried and talked her down. She's the only blood family member who I've literally told it to this day. My middle brother asked me if I like girls, I said both, and he gave me ecchi manga. Brothers.

When I was 21 I met the love of my life. The first and only man I pursued seriously. And I really had to pursue him since he thought I was a lesbian bc I was so damn queer and liked looking at women's breasts. After some comedy of errors, we got together. He always knew that I was queer and accepted it, enjoyed it even, since we could ogle at women together and he was fine with me looking/commenting on pretty men too. He had queer friends (pretty much half ), had tried it out, and decided he liked women, and he was also on the spectra of autism. I feel a kinship with him, love, and friendship. His family was queer (gay granpa and lesbian step-sister) and I was pretty much introduced as bi together with my name to them, as a matter of fact.

I married him. We've been together for 12 years. I was the first of my sisters to get wed, much to their surprise.

I'm out to the world; except for my older gen of family. But there were no dramatic moments of outing. No TV moment and teary confessions. Even as a child, to my friends, it was a bi by the way and they pretty much guessed it. My siblings, barring my older sister and oldest brother, got it in casual circumstances or guessed it. I think the rest know, but the closet is there as polite fiction so that they don't have to face it.

I don't feel like I'm in the closet. I've never really felt like it. I know my parents' and my older siblings' homophobia, and I know I'm a freak in their eyes, despite being married to a man. I don't care. They don't deserve to have a heart-to-heart with me about my identity, they don't deserve to participate in my joy, and I don't meet them more than a couple times a year.

I'm happy and bi. I love my husband, I love my friends, I love my new family; it's all queer. Coming out was never something that mattered to me. I lived my life and people with eyes saw it as it was. Those who refused had to look at me being queer af regardless. Naturally, I was drawn to queer ppl bc of this and they to me. There's only so much gnc queer shit straight ppl who aren't super queer-friendly can take. Sometimes all you have to do is live your life.

[pyronado-moved]

I’m Mars and I made band ocs out of my love of music ;0 Under the cut ofc there’s 22 of them. Their designs aren’t 100% finalized since I did use picrews but yeehaw. Send me asks abt them or something I’m dying to ramble here.

Quick info: - Something Wild is more pop punk, Karma 2.0 is more punk rock/grunge - They’ve been rivals since Tish and Kasey first saw each other

SOMETHING WILD:

- Tish is the lead singer and founder. 20 years old and she’s already a total anarchist with no self control. Her gecko is named Winston the Eighth despite being the first of his kind. Has been to jail like 16 times or something. Trans lesbian. - Scott is the drummer and honestly? Horny rights. 21 years old, his rat is named Abbott and his cat is named Costello. He and Ryan have an off and on rivalry and relationship, aka they fucking hate each other but sometimes they kiss. Mia’s foster brother. Trans gay. - Ryan is the lead guitarist of the band and Tish’s friend since 1st grade. He’s 20 and on his 16th birthday he jumped off his roof into his pool. He would attack Scott if he didn’t have a massive crush lmao. Masc nb gay. - Zee is the second guitarist and a weird ‘half-hipster half-hates hipsters’ type of person. 22 years old. They radiate ‘i stole from a bank once but no one can prove it, not even me’ vibes. They love their gf’s a lot. Nb bi. - Magdelena is Ryan’s twin sister, 20 and ready to run into the woods and become a hermit at any time. Celine and Zee mean the world to her and she’d do anything for the two fo them. She’s the band’s bassist and honestly doesn’t like Tish but she does like money and fame. Cis bi. - Celine is the band’s favorite roadie (seeing as she’s dating 2 of the members lmao). She can play keyboard and is sometimes hiding offstage with one. 20 years old with a heart of gold. She's selectively mute and often times Maggie or Zee speak up for her. Trans bi. - June is the band’s manager because Tish is a complete moron all of the time. 24 and met Ryan and Maggie in a shoe store and since then has taken care of their group of idiots. Massive crush on Kara but is always too busy to actually ask her out. NB lesbian. - Layla is Tish’s older sister and spoils her baby sister so much. She’s the one who always bails Tish out of jail without regards of why she was ever there. Supports the band from a distance since she works at a cable company and can’t really travel. She’s 25 and sees Ryan and Maggie as other younger siblings. Cis bi. - Mia is Scott’s foster sister after her parents moved away without her. She loves him to death but to everyone else she’s a total brat. Despite being 15 and needing decent schooling, she travels with the band and just does online school. She’s really good on the guitar like her brother and wants to start her own band some day. Cis and ??? - Stella is Mia’s only real friend and they met during one of the band’s tour shows. She’s the chillest person you’ll ever meet but she’s also a major humans rights activist. She’s an amazing singer at 16 and Mia wants her to join her future band. Trans bi. - Kara is Scott’s ex girlfriend from when they were in 7th grade and both thought they were straight. She helps June with the band and sees Celine as the younger sister she never had. 21 and although book smart, she sure isn’t street smart. Crushing hard on June. Cis lesbian.

KARMA 2.0:

- Kasey is the lead singer and once won a singing competition at 14. Now she’s 21 and her solo career has been totally forgotten. She thinks Tish is the worst person on the planet and will go to great lengths to destroy Something Wild’s career. She loves her crew beyond believe though. Dating Rose and loves her so so much. Cis lesbian. - Isabelle is Kasey’s younger sister by 3 years and will do anything her big sis asks of her, even down to the most illegal thing. She copies Kasey all the time, even in hair color and actions. She’s the band’s bassist and one of the most well known bassists in the punk rock circle these days. Trans bi. - Kaia wanted to be a zoologist as a kid but her school career went downhill fast and she accidentally got swept up in the music world. She’s the band’s lead guitarist and despite it not being her first choice, she loves being part of the group. She’s dating Leo and they’re a cute as hell couple. Trans bi. - Elijah is Kasey’s best friend and the two tell each each other every little thing, Eli even being the one to convince Kasey to start a band. He’s the drummer and loves it so much. He doesn’t really approve of Kasey wanting to end Tish’s career but doesn’t say it. Trans bi. - Neo is the group’s second guitarist and honestly can’t bring herself to care about drama, she just wants to play. She and Winona used to date but now they’re best friends. She’s developing a game on the side of her band career and plans to leave Karma 2.0 once her gaming company gets traction. Trans lesbian. - Rose has looked god in the eye and wasn’t impressed. 21 year old daredevil without a care in the world (except loving and cherishing her gf Kasey). Terrible memory from a childhood accident but that doesn’t get her down. Cis lesbian. - Nebula went to jail for robbing his landlord. His childhood friend Kaia bailed him out and since then he’s been the band’s tech guy as payment. 22 and can’t do anything well, but can do many things decently. Helps Neo out with her game all the time. Crushing on Elijah. nb gay. - Winona is just here for a good time really. She’s doing an online college course to be a nurse since she wants to support both of Neo’s careers rather than being stuck in her hometown in a boring college. She’s got a love for graphic design and usually makes all the band’s posters. Cis bi. - Harper is Winona’s older sister and she helps Kasey manage the band and set up their gigs and tours. Of everyone in the band, she’s the one who helps Kasey the most with her take down plan of Something Wild. Her heart is in the right place but her greed takes over at times. Cis bi. - Leo is the only real functioning adult of the group despite being the youngest at 20. She’s actually only there to support Kaia, since she prefers country music to the loud, annoying, punk that Karma 2.0 plays. Trans lesbian. - Samantha is Neo’s co-developer and seriously disapproves of her friend’s band life. Self proclaimed ‘queen of the computers.’ She’s reserved and keeps away from pretty much everyone but Neo. Cis bi.

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

So I'm a butch bi and I've been struggling with self-doubt because it's really hard to find other people like me? I relate a lot to butch lesbians and some nb folks and some trans men, but the lack of masc bi women in the public eye leaves me constantly questioning whether I'm ~really~ a lesbian or a trans man. This is super frustrating because I always wind up coming back to the same answer, but the questioning is exhausting. Do you have any tips that might help me become more secure?

I think you need to ask yourself why lesbians are allowed to be butch and bi women aren’t? If you think about it for a little while you can see why it doesn’t make sense to think that way. But maybe you already know it doesn’t make sense. Is it reasonable to expect that if you want to be bi you have to transition to male? Or to expect that if you want to be cis you either have to stop being butch or stop loving men? I get the insecurity. I felt the same way sometimes before I realised I was trans. That might not be the best thing to say to make you feel better lol! Sorry. If it helps, I wanted to be a boy since I was 3, so don’t start questioning your gender any more than you already are just because you have something in common with a trans man. The way I overcame the insecurity was that I realised that the way we dress and the way we present has absolutely nothing to do with who we want to fuck. The idea that butch women don’t love men comes from heteronormative, homophobic toxic masculinity. Hypermasculine homophobic cis men recoil at even the slightest hint that they could be attracted to anything even the tiniest bit masculine (which is why they think that a woman’s natural body hair is gross and why they claim that women with short hair aren’t hot) because they are insecure about their sexuality. And so they’ve projected this insecurity onto the rest of society and it’s become a part of our culture. The idea that butch afab people must be trans if they want to fuck men or that cis women must be femme if they want to fuck men is ludicrous if you think about it. But that doesn’t change your feelings. Sometimes it’s hard not to feel things even when you know they don’t make sense, especially when you can’t see yourself represented anywhere. But I can assure you that there are butch bi women out there. I’ve met some personally. Also you ever seen Evan Rachel Wood when she’s not on the red carpet? She’s got a real soft butch kinda thing going. I don’t know if that helped. But you know that you’re bi if you’re attracted to more than one gender. And you know your own gender identity better than anyone. Even if you feel like people like you are rare, that doesn’t matter. Not everyone is the same. We’re all unique. You shouldn’t try to change yourself to fit in with the majority. Even if you were the only butch bi woman in the world, that would be okay. You’re not. But if you were, that would mean you were special, not that you don’t really exist. Max

[mag200]

here u go

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

uh i tend to either doubt the existence of everyone including myself, or doubt my own existence but not everyone else’s

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

like 1 or 2 i live for the night bicth

3. The person you would never want to meet?

this is hard because even people i truly hate i would want to meet so i can fight them. so maybe jrr tolkien bc my expectations are probably too high and meeting him would be like “oh right ur a just a real and regular person that existed righto”

4. What is your favorite word?

probably “fuck” lets be real it’s just so flexible

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

i have been asking myself this question my entire life and i cannot yet answer with certainty but i rlly relate to swamp maples

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

“damn im good at cutting my hair” (i chopped my bangs last night)

7. What shirt are you wearing?

a feminist tee shirt my cousin’s girlfriend made

8. What do you label yourself as?

a goth bitch. a gay motherfucker. a sleepy boi.

9. Bright room or dark room?

uhh i like a lot of natural light, i don’t have blinds on my windows so it can get bright but the best is early morning or evening when its pretty dark out and i have my string lights turned on. so i guess low-to-neutral lighting.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

sleeping lol.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

18 was reeeaal good but i’m gonna be 21 next and i am looking forward to that i think it will be a fun time

12. Who told you they loved you last?

my dad or my stepmom like yesterday probably

13. Your worst enemy?

not to be an edgelord but. my own brain probably.

14. What is your current desktop picture?

usually a pretty nature picture bc im a basic bitch, rn its this

15. Do you like someone?

um i like taylor swift

16. The last song you listened to?

the 10 hour version of “weightless” by marconi union (its my background music for nanowrimo)

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

hahah um idk if i can say this without the fbi showing up

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

no one in particular in this exact moment but. if a nazi shows up.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

im uh not comfortable with this concept

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

idk maybe my eyes i like my face a lot but i also like my arms a lot but also my hairy legs? beautiful.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

first of all it would be pretty lit bc i’m genderfluid and i’d have a great time looking physically masc. so ideally i’d have long hair and a beard and i would just go for a hike and write and be beautiful.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

i dont have anything thats a secret to everyone but like most people dont know that i used to snowboard all the time and was real fuckin good at it

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

that theres a monster in the toilet thats going to reach up and grab me while im peeing

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

alfalfa sprouts, sharp cheddar cheese, hummus, cucumbers, spicy mustard, turkey, and figs on rye bread

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

tattoo definitely

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

ICELAND

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

i literally have no idea what i like so. i would pass the offer on to my dad he is much wiser in the lore of alcoholic beverages than i am.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

no TERFs.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

mother of fuck.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

uh my journals

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

jesus christ. um. no im not getting into this shit here tbh i didnt read all these questions before reblogging this thing sorry.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

iceland here i come.

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

of course Death is a cool entity you dont have to tell me that. anyway i have not yet lost someone in my family to death that i was super close to so. i’d bring back carrie fisher.

34. What was your last dream about?

i was in a deep crater trying to climb out to look beyond the rocks... i knew the ocean was supposed to be there and i was supposed to be able to see japan from there if i could climb up?? but when i got to the top and looked out, the ocean was gone and a barren landscape lay before me, images sliding into place like a powerpoint presentation superimposed on the sky of the apocalypse that had struck during my exile, the art and culture that was lost, the demise of the world. i climbed back down to chill in the bottom of my crater.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

yes i am a good.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

yeah only three times i think but all within the same year.

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

hell yeah

38. What is the color of your socks?

not wearing any right now but the last pair i was wearing are orange, brown, and tan

39. What type of music do you like?

uhh lots of kinds but my top 3 are taylor swift, my chemical romance, and hayley kiyoko

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises but if i lived on the west coast and could watch the sunset on the water i might prefer that

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

chocolate

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

i dont care about sports teams buddy

43. Do you have any scars?

yeah i have a bunch from just playing and doing weird shit in the woods and a lot from picking at bug bites for too long, but i also have a couple self-harm scars from a while back

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

idk exactly but im going back to school soon for environmental science and i’d love to do anything that lets me be outside and work with plants or animals

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

i’d either be born DMAB or have a brain that isn’t so goddamn forgetful

46. Are you reliable?

u mm idk i try to be but i am not for everyone

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

what do u regret not doing

48. Do you hold grudges?

i do but very selectively, only for like one or two people

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

um idk maybe i could combine goats and turkey vultures into some kind of goat/dragon/bird of prey. think of the mayhem.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

i genuinely cannot remember sorry. but it was probably in an online forum in 2007 during the height of random humor.

51. Are you a good liar?

uhhh doubtful but i used to think i was good lol

52. How long could you go without talking?

i’ve gone a couple days without talking before and im sure i could go much longer, maybe months or years even altho it would not be healthy for me.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

junior year when i thought i knew how to cut my own hair (but i really didn’t) and i wanted to look like a knockoff brand Skins character (and i really did). that wasn’t rlly good but it was fun and i dont regret it.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

nah im not really a cake person

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

i can sometimes do a british accent which i’ve been told is convincing to american ears but is probably very overdone. i can’t speak other accents but my brain gets stuck thinking in scottish or like a cowboy accent from old westerns a lot of the time.

56. What do you like on your toast?

lots of stuff depending on my mood but my fav is a runny egg where the bread can soak up all the yolk.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

eleven from stranger things

58. What would be you dream car?

i rlly rlly miss my old car that had to be junked almost a year ago. i don’t remember what kind it actually was but it was from the 80s and was a faded baby blue and small and boxy and the seats still smelled like cigars. any car from that time period but with a modern stereo + aux cord is the dream. or a big lesbian pickup truck like what bella has in twilight but with decent gas mileage. the dream.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

yes but only if im home alone. what i do most in the shower is have imaginary conversations or pretend that i’ve been trekking through middle earth for four months without bathing and this is the first opportunity i’ve had to clean myself and i enjoy the shit out of it. or i pretend i’m a dragon.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yeah dude definitely

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

no ive done that like maybe twice ever

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

R its just so good

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

dragons but i fuckgin love dinosaurs dude

64. What do you think about babies?

i’m a little awkward/insecure around them but i feel deeply protective when i hold one and in general i think theyre pretty awesome

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

hah motherfucker u forgot to ask me one