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purplesurveys · 5 months ago

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1877

Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? Have I...I don't think so. They make shipping to the Philippines next to impossible anyway, so buying merch isn't even something I've ever had to consider. I went to Fanfest when it was still cool, but that's it.

Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? I had oatmeal for breakfast every single day from the ages of 4 to 10, so I have a silent vow that I'd never have it again lol. That said and to address the question, I don't have a preference.

Have you ever left a note in a library book? Nope, doubt that I have.

What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? In the morning, just before starting work. It's less hair care reasons and more of a general want to feel clean and fresh for the day.

Has anyone ever spread lies about you? I'm sure this has happened.

Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? I do have photos with a few celebrities and athletes; it's part of the job. Tbh they're always taken by a professional photographer haha so the photos always turn out fine – but as for me, personally, I don't like asking for photos. I feel like I'd be a bother.

If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? Nowhere that would be a massive culture shock or would entail a language barrier. I've long thought that moving to a fellow Southeast Asian country would be enough for me – I get the change in scenery, but retain the general culture and way of living. Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, or Vietnam would all be good options.

Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? Taylor Swift. Her music doesn't do anything for me.

If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? I don't volunteer in the form of hours, but I donate to select animal shelters several times a month. Sometimes for specific cases when an animal situation is really dire; sometimes to shelters as a whole. I'm also not into pitting genuine causes against each other – but for me personally I'd always prioritize animal-related initiatives.

Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? I can't imagine spending money on a vacation just to not do anything. My Filipino practicality and frugality will force me to go out, get those 20,000 steps, and get my money's worth lol.

Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? I don't believe in spirits. I also don't think that we continue to linger even from another dimension...although that'd be pretty cool. But I don't think that happens.

Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? I don't get that. Could be because I'm quite short.

Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts? I don't. I'm not very particular about products. I have like BB cream and that's it.

Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? No.

Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..) No.

Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? Didn't have one as a kid. I was too busy surviving on my own and getting the few crumbs of childhood I managed to get...

Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? Doubt it. I don't try to be a role model, so I wouldn't be surprised if I'm not anyone's.

What was the last thing you found offensive? Just another new thing related to the current China-PH dispute that's pissed me off for years.

Who is the nicest person you know? Angela has no bad blood in her. Like at all.

Do you feel safe in your country? I'm literally actively always on red alert for being catcalled or honked at whenever I'm out and if you're in a shady shady area you might get held up or stabbed, so...no not really...

Do you feel safe where you live? Yeah, but this is kind of a cheat because I live in a gated village.

Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Kind of, yeah. I feel bad about it because that man is a good family friend, but idk he was wrong lol. I had been sick for over a week, 39ºC fever refusing to go away – we go to him and he gives me these meds that didn't do any fucking thing. I start to panic and Angela's mom steps in to help, gives me a prescription for UTI and my fever literally goes away in half an hour.

Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you? As far as I can remember, haven't experienced anything like this.

Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Butt Ugly Martians was definitely a concept, but I loved that stupid little game nonetheless. WarioWare is also an Experience haha.

Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? Nope.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? Gary!

Do you like marshmallows? Dislike dislike dislike.

What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? Not into candy canes.

Have you ever fostered an animal? Haven't.

Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out? For the most part yes, because I find cold water uncomfortable.

When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two? I don't really get to write at a lot haha but hm what do I do? I think I do two.

What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? I've always just wanted dogs. Elephants are my other favorite, but never wanted them as a pet.

List three people you’ve had crushes on: A grade school science teacher LOL; a high school science teacher (why were they all teaching science??????); and I say this with 200% shame but there was a Korean tour guide from my trip in Vietnam who looked exactly like SVT Mingyu it was pretty amazing lmao??

Have you ever thrown up from cramps? Nah. My period cramps have thankfully never given me so hard a time that I've had to call in sick or throw up or whatever. Leg cramps that I get from sleeping have been much more merciless.

List three people you had a hard time forgiving. My mom, my brother, my ex.

Who is the most spiritual person you know? This celebrity I follow for work purposes is really into spirit soul crystal yoga other meditation stuff.

Would you ever start a vlog? I'd love to. I've always meant to start, and it would be the non-talking types where I never show my face – like literally just walking logs of my life and how I've experienced it in that moment. No one even has to watch them but me. But I can't bother to spend on vlogging equipment and idk how to edit videos and don't have the time to do it either hahaha.

Are your dreams coming true yet? I think I can get to say that they are, one at a time, yeah!

Do you struggle with depression? I did before.

Are you haunted by your past? I do not let it bother me.

What medical conditions do you have? Just scoliosis.

Do you use a Magic Bullet? Question gave me whiplash for a sec lol, but no I don't.

What does your apron look like? I don't own one.

What are your favorite spicy foods? Angry Chapaguri is the best. I also like spicy ramen, tteokbokki, curry, Bicol express, sisig with chilis...I'm pretty big on spicy.

Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid? Adult. I enjoy the freedom.

Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday? I was too busy being depressed I'm pretty sure. I don't have memories of most of my birthdays, up until my 18th.

Did you feel insecure in high school? Just the first half. I was able to find my footing and my circle by junior year.

Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? What a complicated question.

Who was the biggest bully in high school? Bullies stopped being a thing in high school, or I at least didn't hang around circles where that could potentially have been a thing.

What was your favorite class in high school? History.

Would you rather have a daughter or a son? Daughter.

Have you ever written to an advice columnist? Nope.

Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him? No.

If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? I imagine so.

Do you like Lisa Frank? I didn't particularly like it, but I just experienced fomo as a kid because the rich kids had Lisa Frank stuff.

What gives you nightmares? What I've observed is that I tend to have bad dreams if I'm currently going through something that is deeply troubling me. Like if a work day went to SHIIIIIIIT shit and it's because of something that was my fault; or if I get into a particularly bad argument with someone and it doesn't get resolved by the end of the day...those are usually the times that I would get bad dreams.

Were you ever hospitalized as a child? Kind of. I was much younger than a child, though. I was a few months old and was super dehydrated and my family couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Turns out I was drinking the wrong milk.

Did you get senior pictures taken? Yes.

What color is your bicycle? I don't have one.

Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class? No.

Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? White. Beige would look great on them.

Would you rather have a swimming pool or trampoline? Pool.

Do you think babies are cute? Not really. It varies.

Do you dream about the future a lot? Sure.

Do you think about your past a lot? Sometimes, more so in the context of thinking how fast life can pass by you. Like being reminded that Covid was nearly half a decade ago.

How good are you at living in the moment? Extremely good, almost to a fault. I savor the present so much that I, like, forget to memorialize them – I always forget to take photos and videos so when I want to make an album of sorts, I'm always lacking in content hahaha and have little to look back on in general. Just from our recent trip in Vietnam, I had to borrow 75% of the photos from my sister for my IG post hahahaha

Have you ever questioned God’s existence? I did that when I was 10; never looked back since and never regretted it.

Vanilla frosting or chocolate? Chocolate.

What’s your favorite foreign cuisine? Indian, Korean, Malaysian, and Thai.

Have you ever moved to another state? I've moved cities and regions.

Did you do anything productive today? Yes. But I don't want to discuss it since it's all related to work.

Can you say the alphabet backwards? Not in a quick succession haha. I'd get there eventually.

Do you like flowers? Some.

Have you ever thought you were gonna die? Sure.

What kind of mood are you in today? A bit relieved as I am on leave tomorrow, but I hate leaving my team behind so I know I'll do a fake leave anyway.

What are you craving right now? Chapaguri and samgyupsal......................ugh

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? Sure.

What is worse, physical or emotional pain? Not fair to compare.

Have you ever walked in on somebody doing something… questionable? Questionable can mean so many things lol, so yeah.

If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? Non-talking vlogs.

Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? It's fine. I've done it before, would do it again.

Do you typically laugh when somebody falls down? If it ends up having quite the funny effect, I might laugh. Hehehe. Especially if I'm close with the person.

What is the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched? Eraserhead, Under the Skin (which I don't think I even finished), at least the first half of Full Metal Jacket, and I'm Thinking of Ending Things.

Your opinion of Katy Perry, please? Her older music made up a big part of my growing-up years, so that's something I'd always have a soft spot for. Idrk what she's up to these days though.

If you could say anything to your Mom right now… what would it be? See you tomorrow!

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zeldaelmo · 3 years ago

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This is my contribution for the @behind-the-fic MFC contest! It's an old story (the first chapter, actually, but I figured it would work as a one-shot as well). I am working on something else, but I’m slow and the new story is very much out of my comfort zone, so who knows if I’m able to finish it to my satisfaction until 01.08.

I'm not fond of the idea of competition when it comes to my creative hobbies, so I don't want to win anything. I just like to be part of it because I was too shy to do the podcast as a non-native speaker.

But enough of me, you are here to get sad. 😉

tw: Link is an orphan in this one and the loss of his parents is mentioned as a backstory. Nothing horrible, but I want you to be aware.

Well. And warning for horrible proposals. 😆

Oh, and this story was inspired by a scene of @spacebeyonce Halloween fic ‘draw me like a magnet (to the sea)’ !

A fool such as I

He knew he was a fool when his eyes scanned the passing sidewalk for a woman with blonde hair from the passenger's seat of Pipit’s car.

He knew he was a fool when they entered the charity gala, and he couldn’t stop himself from looking for a pair of blue eyes.

He knew he was a fool when a bell-like laugh made him turn around to find out if it was her.

It was not.

It was never her.

“Link,” Pipit nudged him in the side, rolling his eyes at him, “you are doing it again. Get yourself something to drink and enjoy the evening, for Hylia’s sake! I didn’t drag you here to look for your imaginary girlfriend!”

Sighing in defeat, Link grabbed a glass from the tray of one of the waiters, not caring at all what fancy drink he might have gotten himself. Old habits die hard – the point wasn’t that Link didn’t know Pipit was right. It was just... he sipped his drink to distract himself and the bitter-sweet taste of the bright orange aperitif rolled on his tongue.

This wasn’t the first time they'd had this conversation and if Link was honest with himself, it wouldn’t be the last, either. He knew that looking for her was like looking for a needle in a haystack. His heart, however, knew not. Every time he convinced himself to give up, every time he tried to move on, his pulse thrummed against that faded scar on his palm, and he did it again.

Like a fool.

He had been eight when he first met her.

It had been his mother’s last summer alive. She had been suffering from a mysterious lung disease the doctors couldn’t explain and couldn’t heal. They had sent the whole family to Skyloft, a famous climatic spa, in a last, desperate attempt to save her life. His parents hadn’t told him how severe his mother’s condition was, perhaps to spare him or perhaps to spare themselves from the truth. They just spoke about a long vacation with him, an opportunity for him to meet new friends and to stray over the little island on his own. He had loved the idea immediately.

The girl arrived three days after him, her cheeks lacking color, her hair coiffed in two neat braids, and her proper cotton dress dancing around her knees. She was without her parents, just with her nanny – a stern-looking woman named Impa. The curious child that he was, he asked her in the following days why her parents didn’t accompany her. She shrugged and said, they were extremely busy and their jobs couldn’t afford a summer break and that was that. To him, it didn’t matter anyway, because sneaking her out was much easier this way – Impa never caught them.

The physician had diagnosed her with general weakness and a susceptibility to illness and therefore she'd been sent to Skyloft. Link couldn’t detect anything ‘ill’ on her. Her face lit up every time she saw him in the eating room and after she winked at him over the huge bowl of pumpkin soup, he followed her in a safe distance to her room on his tiptoes. Impa, whose room was on the opposite, frightened him, so he didn’t dare to knock in case she would hear him. Instead, he bolted out of the back door and threw little pebbles on her window to get her attention. She opened the window with a wide smile, and he knew immediately that he had never seen anything so beautiful in his life.

The days flew by after that.

They met at the Goddess statue whenever she had free time between her treatments, and she sneaked out every evening to sit with him at the little pond. Her cheeks began to grow rosier from day to day and soon her blue eyes sparkled in the summer sun.

She hadn’t been ill – she had been lonely.

He taught her how to catch bugs and butterflies with a butterfly net, and she taught him their correct names. They read stories from the books of the little library, she more often than him because she was already a fluent reader while he was a beginner. Later in the summer, he even showed her how to swim and when she was too frustrated with her lack of stamina, they ended up in a giant water fight until their giggles made their faces and stomachs hurt. They raced over the island together, always hand in hand, stealing apples at the market and hiding sky stag beetles under seat cushions to watch the poor owner of the cushion being pinched from their hiding place. ‘Oh, will you look at these cuties!’, the adults exclaimed when they saw them, or, ‘Ah, to be young and in love again!’ and they both blushed in the warm summer sun.

One afternoon, after they got a large piece of pumpkin pie from one of the farmers for helping to harvest the earlier pumpkins, she even kissed him. ‘You have pumpkin on your lips, Link,” she whispered, and then she pressed her lips to his and he was sure that he would burst into tiny pieces any moment out of sheer happiness.

Like every summer, this summer too, had to end. She sneaked out of her room for the last time to meet him at their favorite place. They sat closer together as usual, both searching for comfort in the other, instinctively unwilling to separate from each other. Their hearts heavy, not many words were spoken, at least for eight-year-old standards. When the light of the sun turned slowly in a glowing shade of orange, she took his hand and turned his palm upward, stroking a line over it with her index finger.

“Do you have your carving knife with you?” She spoke under her breath, “I want to take an oath.” He had and so he traced the stinging, bloody cut in his palm when he watched her part with Impa the following morning, swearing to himself that he would do anything he could to keep his part of the promise.

They would see each other again, no matter what.

And if that made him a fool, so be it.

“Earth at Link, earth at Link, we need you down here!” Pipit waved a piece of paper in front of his face. His friend had been busy filling out the symbolic check for their donation and was obviously expecting his input. Link blinked at him. “How much do we usually give? 3000 rupees?” he asked, trying to cover his slip into the daydream before his friend would shoot him another remark. Fortunately, Pipit was used to his aversion to numbers in general and didn’t grow suspicious. Pipit was the book-keeper and planner of their little security firm, while Link stuck to the operating tasks like installing an alarm device or overlooking a festivity in addition to the regular stuff of another rich family. His job description was a mixture between bodyguard and engineer, but usually, he liked to be on the road and working with Pipit was a huge pro as well.

His friend nodded in agreement to his question and tapped the pen at his lips. “Well, write 3500. I’ll cover the rest.”

Pipit blew a whistle. “What’s up, Link? Feeling generous tonight?”

“It’s for an orphanage this year, Pipit,” he sighed. “There are too many kids who don’t have the same luck I had back then.”

And that was true. Life didn’t give him much opportunity to think of his promise at first. His mother died only weeks after their return from Skyloft and his father followed her half a year later. A broken heart, the doctor said with thin lips when he squeezed his shoulder. He ended up in an orphanage for a few months but was lucky enough to find a family who was willing to adopt him. It was very unusual that a child of his age found a family at all. His adoptive parents said that they loved his messy hair and his honest smile from the very first second, and no matter how ridiculous that sounded to him, he was immensely thankful. Of course, it took some time to grow to love each other, but they managed somehow, and he didn’t feel so lost anymore – at least regarding his family.

A year after he had left Skyloft, his life had changed dramatically, but he hadn’t forgotten his friend at all. Dreaming of her smile warmed him inside when the grief shook him to the core and thinking of her hand in his, anchored him when he was on the verge of drifting off. His new family knew nothing about her and although they shared a robust trust after a while, he was hesitant to share this treasured piece of his old life with them.

Instead, he secretly started to look for her whenever they were in new places. Stood on staircases to get a better look over a crowd. Glanced at all the other tables when they were eating in a restaurant. Stayed near the door of a bus to observe if she might be one of the people who hopped on or off the vehicle.

She was never among them.

As a teenager, he gathered his courage and made a serious attempt to find her. He had little to start - they hadn’t thought of exchanging addresses or even last names. The horizon of eight-year-old children only extends so far. So, the administration of the health resort in Skyloft was his first shot. The files of the patients were only stored for five years, and they wouldn’t give him further information anyway unless he was related to her. He scrolled through the homepage of the staff next and contacted the few faces he recognized, stumbling through his lines on the phone. Nobody remembered a blonde girl with her name.

The last hint to her was Impa. He tried to find her instead, hoping an adult would leave more traces behind than a girl would, but the internet was dead silent about a nanny named Impa. It was hopeless. He was stuck looking for her everywhere he went.

Pipit coughed in his fist beside him and nodded in the direction of a brunette a few steps in front of them, hissing, “Babe alert!”

“You are married, Pipit.” Link rolled his eyes at his friend. “Karane won’t be lucky over the fact that you are pining after other women.”

“I’m talking about you, you moron. Or are you still dating Peatrice?”

Link groaned and waved his hands. “Don’t get me started on that girl. She was so clingy, horrible.”

He had tried to like her, really. She had begged him for a date, and he had given in. They had done all this dating stuff, watching films in the cinema, dining in a restaurant, even holding hands on a walk in the park. It had always been the same, after two hours more or less, he hadn’t been able to stand her anymore. The mindless chit chat, the exaggerated admiration for him, the false lashes, everything about her had put him on edge.

Like a clockwork, his scar had begun to itch, and he had fled from her presence.

“She wasn’t her.” Pipit narrowed his eyes at him. “That’s why. Because you are still chasing rainbows. Link, man up and move on!”

“She was clin-” Link stopped.

Looked again.

Took a few steps forward.

“Link?” He heard Pipit asking somewhere behind him, but he was already on his way.

Could it be? His pace quickened when the people in front of him revealed a glimpse of blonde hair once again. The beat of his heart drummed through his veins, all the way down to his fingertips and his toes, too loud, too fast, and he tried assertively to push it back into his rib cage.

He had been wrong before.

He was most likely wrong again, the people and the yards between them made it difficult to be sure. Her calf-length evening dress was pink, yes, but who knew if it was still her favorite color? She had been eight.

When she turned and his desperate eyes slid over the curve of her nose, her lashes, her powdered cheeks, a stubborn thing called hope expended in this chest. The bright, powerful hope like the sun after a summer storm, not the simmering, obstinately hope like a smoldering fire which had accompanied him for so long now.

She was talking to someone, an elegant gentleman with long white hair, and her face lit up just in time when he was near enough to confirm that her eyes were blue. And then she smiled, a polite, practiced smile only, not even reaching her eyes, but it was proof enough to let his heart skip for far too long as it should be medically explainable.

He had found her.

Hylia above, after all these years, he had truly, finally found her! Tiny, shaky breaths left him, in and out, which did nothing to calm his nerves, and he took her in again, just to be sure. She looked different, of course, but her eyes had still the slightest trace of sadness that they had when he had seen her for the first time. Her features had grown out of the roundness of a child and her cheeks were rouged to hide the lack of color again.

It had to be her – his heart beat nothing but her name through his veins. He had nearly caught up to her now and raising his trembling hand, he called, “Zelda!” Her head snapped up and his chest expanded nearly painfully from joy – it was her. It was her! But before their eyes could meet, a security guard in a black suit tapped her shoulder and led her away.

No!

Someone on the stage announced the charity entry of the princess, but he didn’t pay anything around him mind, nearly batted the unpleasant noise away with his hands. Setting his shoulders once more and squeezing through the people, he tried to follow the way she had left. He would not lose her again, now that he had finally found her. Never again!

The stage and the backstage area were closed off with thick red ropes, a bodyguard with a stern face on each side of the stage, who already eyed him when he gave the rope a frustrated slap. He couldn’t look for her here.

Fretfully, he turned around only to realize that he was trapped. Every single attendant of the charity Gala had gathered around the stage and it was pointless to try to get through these people, let alone find her again. Rolling his eyes, he braced himself for the next minutes of what would probably be a boring charity speech from the princess while he was dying to be on his way to find Zelda once again.

He had never been particularly interested in the royal family – he wasn’t even sure if he would recognize one of them beside the King on the street. The King was the figurehead of the parliamentary monarchy and gained the main interest of the journalists and the people, while the rest of the royal family lived a relatively secluded life. Every now and then one of the members would participate in a charity event much like today.

Sure, there was some kind of gossip press, too, but Link had always believed himself having more important things to do than following ‘reports’ of people he would never see in real life anyway. In the past, he had watched the New Year's speech of the King on television every year with his adoptive family, and he still did sometimes now he lived alone to keep the tradition up. Therefore, in all honesty, his curiosity about seeing the Princess wasn’t as great as it seemed to be the case with the people around him, but now that he was standing in the first row, he might as well take a look at her.

The moment he turned around was the moment he realized he hadn’t been only a fool.

He had been the greatest fool of all.

Zelda.

Zelda was the Princess of Hyrule.

His heart dropped in his stomach, no to the floor. Suddenly, everything made sense. Impa hadn’t been a stern nanny; she had been a bodyguard. Her parents hadn’t been able to accompany her because they were the King and the Queen. Of course, she had been pale and lonely and well educated, because she had spent so much time on becoming a perfect princess as a child. Nobody remembered a blonde girl because they all only recalled the one summer the Princess was in Skyloft. He had never seen her on the bus because she had her own chauffeur.

His knees nearly gave out under him, the edge of his vision blurring, when he tried to process the new information. Zelda was the Princess. That changed everything. Or did it change nothing at all? How was he supposed to think straight with that soundscape here?

He quashed the urge to block his ears from the horrible sappy violin music, his eyes returning to her instinctively, searching hers in vain. She was so sweet and beautiful and familiar; he couldn’t tear his gaze away. Oh, how he had missed her!

So, what if she was the Princess? He wouldn’t let something like that get in their way. A promise was a promise was a promise. He just had to talk to her somehow when she left the stage – then they would pick up their friendship. Perhaps, if they still clicked like all these years ago, he even dared to hope for more.

The piece of music the fiddlers were playing reached an even more sappy height and a guy with an odd, red pompadour he hadn’t noticed before stepped up to Zelda. He nestled with something in his pocket before he dropped down to one knee. Link’s eyes widened in horror, his body frozen in place. No… No, stop it! Not now, when he had finally found her! An icy fist gripped his heart and refused to let go. This had to be a cruel joke of destiny.

One long, wonderful moment she said nothing, and he dared to hope that – yes, what? That she looked over, realized her undying love for him, so they could ride into the sunset on his non-existing horse?

He fled when she nodded and the idiot raised again, not hesitating to kiss her. The people in front of him barely parted, and he stumbled, tripped until he found himself breaking down on the grated steps of the emergency exit. The cold of the autumn evening crawled under his skin. Or maybe it was the cold sting of realization. If he had found her ten minutes earlier, a week earlier, a year earlier, he might have stood a chance. Now, every moment he had looked for her had been in vain, her fiancé didn’t look at all like the type who would tolerate a rival, even if they would just be friends.

What a fool he had been!

He pressed his palms to his eyes, casting the world out. Who was he kidding, she was the Princess. Princesses didn’t stick with orphaned country-boys running a little two-person-operation, which made barely enough to donate a little sum every year. Princesses married rich company heirs, fancy musicians, or whatever this guy was.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat with his face buried in his hands, hot tears dwelling at the corner of his eyes, unwilling to shed, when he heard the metallic click of the door. It could have been minutes. Or hours – and now Pipit had finally found him. It was time to move on anyway for him.

A delicate hand stroked his back once, twice, before it withdrew.

“A break-up?” A soft voice asked and when he raised his head, the tears finally fell.

Rainbows.

He had been chasing rainbows – she didn’t even recognize him when he was directly in front of her.

It took him two attempts to get the words through the stinging lump in his throat. “Kind of,” he finally choked out, torturing himself by looking at her face from so close.

She smiled that polite, meaningless smile, saying, “You’ll find someone else, eventually.”

“I guess I have to,” he whispered and tore his gaze away, his heart shattering into a million pieces. The silence hung between them like the moon between the stars, and he waited and hoped and hated himself more for it with every passing second.

Finally, she sighed and rubbed her arms. “I’m sure it’s a beautiful night somewhere, for someone.”

He didn’t dare to look in her eyes again when he unwound his white-blue shawl and placed it on her shoulders. Denied himself to let his fingertips linger. To enclose her in his arms to shield her from the cold. From the world that forced her to paint her pale cheeks with rouge.

“Thank you,” she breathed, quiet, earnest.

He looked at the moon again, taking his time to breathe in and breathe out, failing to prepare himself for a goodbye he had dreamed of as a beginning. A goodbye, he had never meant to say.

“Congratulations on your engagement.”

She looked at the rock on her finger, fidgeting the underside of the ring with her thumb. “Ah, yes, that. Thank you.”

Despite himself, he took her hands in his and pressed a kiss on her knuckles, his fingers brushing her scar and hers brushing his for a terrible, perfect moment before he left.

“Goodnight, Zelda.” His voice was as quiet as his heart was loud.

The emergency door fell shut after him with a heavy thud and the crowd of the gala swallowed him without hesitation.

She really should look happier, but it wasn’t his concern anymore.

Perhaps it never had been.

Psss... if you are like me and can’t stand a sad ending, check out the rest of the story here.

#zelink #a fool such as I #zeldaelmo writes #modern au #behind the fic

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zestyq · 4 years ago

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The Flavours Of Life - A Sims 4 Legacy Challenge

Sims tend to have a lack of personality. A lack of flavour. But I'm here to fix it. Are you tired of sims challenges either being too short or having wayyy too many goals to incorporate your own creative freedom? Then read ahead!

General rules;

1 - No cheats and cheaty mods. Sims tends to get boring if you cheat money, careers and skills. 2 - This challenge is about having freedom and being flexible. So feel free to edit some of the generation rules for your liking in your playthrough. 3 - Stick to a normal or long lifespan. 4 - Design your sims with the general colours/styles of the generations. 5 - The whole point of this challenge is to have fun so if you don't think you're going to enjoy a gen, skip it!

Generation One, Vanilla;

New town, new life and new opportunities. You grew up with privilege and have never had to work for yourself. Until one day, your parents pass away suddenly and you find they left nothing to you in your will. In a rags to riches style, you have to build yourself up from nothing. Eventually, you gain back your white picket fence lifestyle and marry, then have kids. You care for and love your kids - you want the best for them. But one day you make a grave mistake...

Traits: Materialistic, Snob and Perfectionist.

Aspiration: Succesful Lineage.

Career: Your choice, excluding high intensity jobs.

-Max out a career of your choice.

-Have at least two kids.

-Master parenting and whatever skill(s) correspond with your job.

- Complete at least half of your aspiration

- Have a one night stand with an evil sim, get pregnant and lie to your partner that it's their child.

Generation two, Strawberry;

You've always seemed so sweet and... charming. So charming you can practically manipulate anyone into liking and trusting you. Okay let's face it - you're evil. (I wonder who you got that from). You've been married so many times it's hard to count. It's a shame your relationships never work out. Although you'd prefer to commit crimes all day, you have a reputation to uphold. So you buy a bakery! Some say the special ingredient is love. You know it's much more sinister.

Traits: Evil, Romantic and Foodie.

Aspiration: Serial Romantic.

Career: Baking Business.

-Have a pristine reputation.

-Have multiple of your wives/husbands die under "suspicious circumstances" and take their money

-Have at least a three star business.

-Master the Baking, Charisma and Mischief skills.

Generation three, Bitter;

Growing up your parental figures came and went. Nothing was permanent. Which is why you guess stability never come easy to you. The only thing that remained consistent throughout your life was your hatred of your parents. As a teen or young adult you run away from home at the dead of night and start a new life. With no set goals or plans in your life you jump quickly from one thing from another. You live all over the globe during your life but you finally settle down in the tropical Sulani. Oh, did I forgot to mention you hate children?

Traits; Non-Committal, Hates children and Self-Absorbed.

Aspiration: Beach Life

Career: Any four careers + a term or so of uni.

-Reach level 2 of four careers.

-Go to uni for a degree but drop out sometime during the first term.

- Max two skills and reach level five in another.

-Get pregnant by accident and have twins. (You may cheat)

-Have maxed out hate for at least one parent.

-Get a Nanny for your children.

Generation 4, Salt OR Pepper;

(During this generation you get a choice as who you will play as)

Option 1 - Pepper,

You and your twin sibling have always been polar opposites but that doesn't mean you can't be close! You were always the rebellious one. Sneaking out to parties, underage drinking and hiding your soulmate in your room. Whatever you were doing it certainly wasn't something good. At school you never tried and got an F Grade at high school. But when P.E came around... you were the star of the show. Sports was your natural calling. And after a long day of exercising, you liked to help yourself to a drink.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Active, Hot-Headed.

Aspiration: Soulmate.

Career: Bodybuilder Branch of the Athlete Career

-Max the fitness and mixology skill

-Complete the Soulmate aspiration.

-Reach level ten of the athlete Bodybuilder Branch

-Have an alternative style for the majority of your life.

-Have max friendship with your twin.

-Meet your soulmate as a child and stay together forever.

Option 2- Salt,

You and your twin have always been close friends but that didn't stop you from feeling jealous of their perfect relationship. During school you always had your head in a book and at the library one day you meet someone to love. But it didn't work out. For a lot of your life you were stuck in a loveless relationship that ended in divorce and kids to look after. You wrote romance novels in hopes that one day the stories would come true and you'd find that special someone to call your "soulmate". And eventually, you do! In the last years of your life you meet your special someone...

Traits: Romantic, Gloomy and Bookworm.

Aspiration: Bestselling Author.

Career: None. You can only get money by self-publishing books.

-Max out the writing skill and logic skill

-Complete the Bestselling Author aspiration

-Meet your first love at the library during "Book Club"

-Have a divorce as an adult.

-Have max friendship with your twin

-Marry "the one" as an elder

Generation 5, Spicy:

Growing up you always wanted to be the centre of attention. You always had a fiery and unpredictable personality. Sometimes you'd fabricate stories just so your parents would feel bad for you. As you got older, nothing changed. You became a famous actor. People around the globe loved you and the roles you'd play. One night you spot a paparazzi and the flirtations began. At first you thought it'd be nothing; you were used to pretending to like someone. As the night progressed, you and the paparazzi hooked up and a child was conceived. Terrified of what the public would say you quit acting, become a stay at home parent and marry the paparazzi.

Traits: Self-Assured, Ambitious and Erratic.

Aspiration: Master Actor.

Career: Actor, Stay at Home Parent.

-Master the acting and cooking skill.

-Reach at least level 5 in the acting career.

-Complete at least half of the acting aspiration.

-Marry a paparazzo.

-Become a three star celebrity.

Generation 6, Orange:

You always knew your parent loved you but you could tell they'd rather be famous and living a life of luxury. They signed you up for drama club in the hopes you'd fulfil their dreams but you'd rather be playing with your doll family at home. Babies. Something about them was so cute to you. You grew up and had a large family. You managed to balance work and family perfectly. You gave your children full unconditional love and they returned it. Despite being unwanted as a child, you made sure your children felt belonging. One day it all changed. One of your children passed away in a fire and you were distraught. But you wouldn't let them be forgotten; every week you made at least one painting dedicated to them.

Traits; Creative, Family Oriented and Paranoid.

Aspiration; Big Happy Family.

Career; Painter.

-Master the painting skill.

-Complete the Big Happy Family aspiration.

-Make at least one painting a week after your child passes.

-Have 5 or more children.

-Attend drama club as a child.

Generation 7, Sour:

Your childhood was fairly uneventful. Except from the fire incident... But you don't talk about it. You prefer life to have a kick to it. You spend your life seeking danger. Some days you'll be climbing the treacherous Mt.Komorebi, others you'll be exploring the ancient tombs of Selvadorada. Whatever you're doing it's sure to be fun. For a while you settle down and have a child but as soon as the child is old enough to journey with you - it's back to the thrill. Life doesn't wait. Neither do you.

Traits; Adventurous, Loves Outdoors and Slob.

Aspiration; Jungle Explorer

Career; None. You sell fossils and artifacts.

-Max the Seladoradian culture and archaeology skill.

-Complete the Jungle Explorer aspiration.

-Reach the top of Mt.Komorebi.

-Have a child with a Seladoradian Native.

Generation 8, Sweet:

You grew up in a wild family. You often went on wild journeys with your parent but you didn't really want to live that life. Music was your passion. Anything musical was perfect to you. Through joy, sorrow and hope you played music. You became an entertainer and married your co-worker. You sang soft lullabies to your children when they cried and serenaded your partner when things were getting romantic. After a long days work, you come home and see your partner in bed... with the maid! Do you forgive and forget? Or do you divorce?

Traits; Music-Lover, Good and Jealous

Aspiration; Musical Genius

Career; Entertainer

-Max out two instrument skills and singing.

-Max out the entertainer career

-Donate to charity once a week.

-Adopt two children from less fortunate homes.

-Catch your partner cheating on you

FYI;

This challenge is my first one so please don't hate. Constructive criticism is appreciated. Also this challenge is loosely based off of the not so berry challenge by lilsimsie. Go subscribe to her :)

#sims 4 #sims 4 challenge #ts4 #gaming #pack #challenge

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transmascdeanwinchester · 4 years ago

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You got any trans man dean headcanons? 👀

I don’t know when u sent this so sorry if I’m answering late!!!

Also I just have the basic bitch set of trans dean headcanons tbh but they make me go feral so I will repeat them!!

- lazurus rising when cas brought dean back he put him in the body he’s always deserved (the mirror scene lives in my head rent free baby!)

- teenage dean stealing testosterone from hospitals and pharmacies when he had the chance bc they moved around too much for him to have a stable prescription pickup plan

- John being pissed for awhile that dean’s not his “perfect little girl” like he thought but getting over it bc dean is so determined to emulate him to prove his masculinity that it just makes him a better more fierce hunter and protector so John gets over it in like a year (Dean’s always been Like That anyway,,, in the grand scheme of things it’s less Distracting to have this small ongoing conflict that John just calls him Dean and does the passive aggressive “you wanna be a man? Act like it.” bullshit you know how it goes)

- Dean knowing he’s not a girl from a young age (like probably about 6) and teaches Sam to call him Dean and that he’s his brother from the time sammy can talk (Sam doesn’t learn Dean’s name is legally Deanna until he’s starting middle school)

- Dean binding in his teens by wearing those tank tops that are like skin tight but also stretchy material? With the built in bra part? he wears two of those under all the Normal Winchester layers and it gives him the flat chest (what isn’t flattened completely gets lost under his dad’s leather jacket he wears to school every day)

- it goes without saying but Dean, age 7, cut his hair for the first time in a shitty hotel bathroom mirror by trying to copy a dude in a shaving ad in a magazine (John didn’t even notice for three days)

- Dean gets top surgery after sam goes to Stanford when he’s supposed to be on a solo hunt (he tells John he’s hunting something but really he’s recovering at Bobby’s)

- Bobby, we are not surprised, is a good father figure and shut that shit down when dean explains that he’s just gonna hole up in a motel once he gets his surgery (“Boy, do you know how fucking dirty motel linens are? I am NOT letting you die from an infection and most certainly not leaving you Alone for months defenseless”)

- Dean using makeup to make his jawline a little sharper and more square even tho the iffy food situation growing up made sure he barely has any roundness to his face to begin with

- on the flip side dean playing up his fem features to use as a distraction when he hustles pool

- dean training his voice by trying to copy the sound of his favorite singers voices (and John since he hears his voice most consistently)

- dean knocking the shit out of transphobes (the comments don’t even have to be directed at him, he hears them and it’s ON SIGHT no question)

- dean acting like a womanizer bc that’s what Men Do and it’s all just literally part of his carefully constructed hyper masculine image bc it’s so so difficult to pick up anyone when what’s under theclothes don’t match what can be seen on the surface (Cassie is the first person he sleeps with and he’s so terrified but she doesn’t care holy shit she doesn’t care?)

- Dean chooses to keep his name close to his birth name bc that’s the name his mother gave him and he doesn’t want to disrespect her by completely changing it

- On the topic of dean’s hyper masculine image he constructs it from a mix of John and from the action movies he studies religiously when he has the chance (this is what boys like this is what every man dreams of being I have to like this too-) even tho he has enough action and violence in his actual life thanks,

- Dean not being big on faith because he can’t imagine some higher power choosing to make him be born in the wrong body and make him work so hard to fix it himself like life wasn’t hard Enough

- Dean being so immensely pleased when word gets around the monster worlds about the Winchester Brothers,,, the validity of your reputation being cemented in the way you’ve carefully crafted it to be

- Dean rationalizing that it’s okay for him to spend time and energy on making sure he’s presenting masc and getting the body language and mannerisms down because it helps him be better at his jobs as protector of his family and as a hunter (men are thought of as stronger/scarier, men are taken more seriously when interviewing locals/victim’s families, more authority is afforded to men)

- dean almost shooting a man in a bar bathroom when he’s fourteen and just needed to deal with shark week stuff real quickly but this drunk decided a “teenage girlie only has one use in a men’s bathroom” but dean just knocks him out and sprints back to the motel (dean doesn’t use public bathrooms after that if he can help it)

- dean not knowing the word transgender until he finds it in a library book while he’s supposed to be researching but really he’d heard the slur and needed to be clear on why it made him feel so icky so he was looking it up in the dictionary and he’s like Oh that’s Me

- Bobby doesn’t actually meet Sam and Dean until after Dean’s cut his hair for the first time and Sammy can only say half words (most Dee, which is good enough for Dean) so one of Dean’s first impressions of Bobby is him asking John “didn’t you have a daughter?” and John just giving a tired sigh because he’s too busy with the hunt he’s here for to try and get into it but Dean butts in with “No, he’s always had two boys, I’m Dean and this is Sammy” and Bobby doesn’t comment on this little high pitched voice or question it much because he’s babysitting this kid for the next two weeks and he doesn’t want it to be a hostile two weeks (and it never becomes a problem because by the end of week one Bobby never even entertains the idea that Dean isn’t a little boy)

- After Dean gets back from Hell literally the only thing that trips Sam and Bobby up (aside from that he just resurrected lmao) is that his shoulders are more squared and he’s just built more like he should be (see previous point about cas rebuilding him as he should’ve been!)

- Dean never having much money but he still donates to queer charities when he can (makes a point of it in June especially)

- Dean hangs a trans flag in his room at the bunker (and one in the dean cave too)

- The insane validation Dean feels at being called The Rifhteous Man (also the fact that Heaven Knew he was a man all along but didn’t lift a finger to make that any easier to show the rest of the world adds to dean’s general hatred towards them tho)

That’s all I can think of right now but just!! Trans Dean!!!!

Thank u for asking friend!!!

(@bowie-boy I am tagging u bc idk if u will see this post so hope that’s okay!!!)

#shut up sammy

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miraculousgemscc · 4 years ago

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Not So Berry Extended

I was inspired to write out a few more generations for the Not So Berry Challenge! I’m currently playing it in my spare time as a Vampire Not so Berry (cause why not?) and i’m having a lot of fun playing it and watching others play through the challenge! If you’d like to see more of these or maybe another version of Not So Berry Extended but with more of the careers then please let me know!

NOTE: This hasn’t been play-tested! If whatever’s listed below is impossible to complete please let me know and i’ll make the needed changes!

Gen 11: Black

(Requires Snowy Escape, Get Famous, Parenthood)

Growing up, you always thought you had the perfect life: You had the dream house, the dream family. Until one day you found out that your mother/father/parent had a secret affair. This completely broke you and in order to cope with the news, you decided to become a rebel. I mean, don’t we all go through a rebellious phase in our lives? Your whole perspective on life went 360: you changed your sense of style, your personality, etc. all at once. At least you had the great outdoors giving you comfort during your “everlasting phase”! Your favorite season was Winter because you could ski/snowboard all day, everyday. And what about those dreams you had of becoming a famous skier/snowboarder? Well we can do that too!

Traits: Hot-Headed (give as a teenager), Active, Self-Assured

Aspiration: Extreme Sports Enthusiast

Career: Manuel Laborer, Ski/Snowboarding YouTuber (once you reach Level 10 of Ski/Snowboarding)

Rules:

Must enter “rebellious phase” either at the end of childhood or beginning of being a teenager (you don’t need PH for this, it’s just apart of storytelling) (this is when the black color of this gen. should occur)

Must get the Argumentative, Insensitive and Uncontrolled Emotions Character Value traits (PH)

Must max either the Skiing or Snowboarding skill (SE)

Must enter the Manuel Laborer job as a teenager and stay in that job

Once your able to create Snowboarding videos, you must make your money off of your videos only

Reach at least Rising Star of Celebrity level (GF)

B-Lister is preferred but since getting fame with Get Famous is hard as it is Rising Star is ok

Must move to Mt. Komorebi (SE)

Gen 12: Dark Academia

(requires Get to Work, Nifty Knitting) Your mother/father/parent was one of the most famous skier/snowboarders in Mt. Komorebi. She/He/They always encouraged you to spend your time outdoors and take in the fresh air. Yet, you preferred to spend your time indoors, curled up in bed with your tea and book in hand. You craved to enter the fictional worlds you’ve read in your books from a young age. When you entered high school, you found your love for the arts and decided that you’d become an artist. At least then you could bring the worlds you’ve read to life on a canvas! And why not have a little snack while we’re at it? You can just learn some new foods you can make through cooking books after all!

Traits: Bookworm, Creative, Art Lover

Aspiration: Painter Extraordinaire

Career: Stay-at-Home Painter, Painter career (⚠️Only if you get offered the job⚠️)

Rules:

Must complete the Painter Extraordinaire aspiration

Must max out Painting skill, Cooking or Gourmet Cooking skill and Photography skill (GTW)

Must make your money through your paintings only

if you get a call about joining the Painter career, you must accept

Must move into a “rundown” lot/apartment with only a kitchen, bathroom, and a bed (and maybe your books if you want but you can’t sell these for money)

your funds when you move out after moving into your house must be $60

(this will be enough for your painting and some extra money to spend elsewhere)

Must have a library in your house

Must have 3 kids (biological or adopted)

spouse must be employed as a Salaryperson and/or Business career (recommended if it’s game generated but you can give them either job yourself)

can only marry partner towards the end of adulthood

Must purchase Knitting Skill Book 1 from bookshelf (NK)

Gen 13: Pastel

(requires Nifty Knitting, Get To Work, Get Together) Your family was pretty stable for the most part. Sure, you may have had trouble paying the bills here and there but what mattered most is that your family was together. Even though you enjoyed your mother/father/parent’s love for Forrest Green, Rosy Brown and overall Earthy tones you felt like you needed a bit more color in your life. And by color, you mean bright and colorful. One day while going through your mother/father/parent’s library you discovered a book on knitting. Figuring your mother/father/parent spent all of their time cooking and painting anyways you decided to take the book and learn how to knit. Yet, knitting cute decor and beanies isn’t going to put food on the table and a roof over your head. Guess running your own business is going to have to wait. Oh yeah, you also have a weird obsession with the letter B...

Traits: Perfectionist, Cheerful, Childish

Aspiration: Lady/Lord of the Knits

Career: Barista (teen), Business (young adult), Business owner (adult)

Rules:

Must complete the Lady/Lord of the Knits aspiration

Must max out Knitting skill, reach required skills needed for jobs before quitting them (ex. If you need Level 3 of Charisma for the Business career but you’ve age up to an Adult, you must reach level 3 before quitting the job)

Must Donate to Charity at least once a week

Quit your career in Business and open your own business as an adult (GTW)

Must get 2/5 stars for your business

Must live in Windenburg and have your business in the Old Platz neighborhood (GT)

Must create a Knitting Club and meet your friends (GT) when you reach Level 3 of the Knitting skill

Can only have relationships with immediate family (siblings, parent(s), grandparent(s), aunts/uncles) until you create the club. Once you create the club you may make friends.

Must become good friends with club members and best friends with one of the members

Marry your partner from the Knitting Club

Must have their first and/or last name start with B (you can cheat the name if you want)

Gen 14: White (Requires Get Famous, Get Together, City Living) Living in Windenburg for most of your life, you always loved how the town was so inclusive to everything and everyone. You always found yourself vibing with the music and dancing whenever you had the chance. But you also had a passion for music, specifically rap. While browsing the internet one day you came across some videos about some kid with blue hair rapping with his friends and you immediately became obsessed. (yes, I just made a FNF reference) From that day on, you wanted to become a Triple Threat: a dancer, musician, and a producer! The world isn’t stopping anytime soon so you gotta act fast and get your dance on!

Traits: Dance Machine, Music Lover, Geek

Aspiration: Musical Genius

Career: Entertainer Rules:

Must max the Dancing skill, Media Production skill, and Guitar/Violin/Piano skill (your choosing) reach level 6 of Singing skill

Must complete the Entertainer career

Must be signed to a Record Label and release your music (GF)

Must marry someone named Keith and has the Proper trait (you may cheat the name only)

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner in high school but break up with them before becoming a Young Adult

must be Hot and Cold with High School love (negative friendship, positive romance)

Have Dance Battles with your friends at least once a week

Have at least 2 Enemies (you can have more if you wish) (this doesn’t include your High School love)

Gen 15: Navy Blue

(Requires Discover University, Eco Lifestyle, Parenthood) Growing up you tend to lean towards a more sophisticated lifestyle thanks to your father. With having good role models around you and supportive parents, you were able to pursue your dreams of becoming a lawyer. Helping those in need was one of your biggest goals in life. The world right now isn’t perfect and you strive to change the world for the better. Having been the smartest kid throughout your school career, you were given the chance to jump straight into the Law career. Although you were grateful for the opportunity, you decided to continue your studies and learn as much as you could before going into Law.

Traits: Proper, Ambitious, Genius

Aspiration: Academic

Career: Law

Rules:

Must complete the Law career

Become a Private Attorney

Must max out Research and Debate, reach level 5 Logic skill, reach level 8 Charisma skill

Must complete the Whiz Kid aspiration and Academic aspiration

Must attend college for the Law career (you may disable aging while you go to college if you want)

Must get an A in school (child and teen)

Must have the Responsible and Mediator Character Value traits

Must make your neighborhood a Green neighborhood (EL)

Attend volunteer events at least once a week (PH)

Never get married, only have 1 child

(can have boyfriend/girlfriend/partner)

Must move to Britechester when you start the Law career (you can live in Britechester while attending college if you want)

Gen 16: Phoenix

(Requires Vampire) You grew up wanting more from the world besides all of the “change the world” stuff your mother/father/parent kept blabbering on about. Instead of changing the world, you wanted a change of scenery. While roaming the world trying to find your new normal you discovered the world of Forgotten Hollow. There, you met your soulmate and later the person who would eventually turn you into a vampire. As crazy as it sounds, the minute you became a Young Adult you up and left your home in Britechester and moved to Forgotten Hollow. This you thought was it! You were finally free to be yourself! Until the dreaded accident.....

Traits: Loves the Outdoors, Romantic, Erratic

Aspiration: Master Vampire

Career: none

Rules:

Must purposely burn in the sun and die

Must have no kids

Must complete Master Vampire aspiration except the, “Survive for an Additional 20 Days as a Vampire” section (you must Die by Sunlight before this reaches the full 20 Days)

Must max Vampire Lore skill and Pipe Organ skill, reach level 5 Gardening skill

Have your own garden in Forgotten Hollow and make your money through your garden only

Must unlock the Thin Skinned weakness from Vampire levels

Must immediately move out as a Young Adult to Forgotten Hollow

your partner must be a Vampire and turn you into a Vampire

And that’s it! I hope you find this as interesting as I did! :D

If your wanting more ways to spice up your gameplay, I have a save file that i’ve been working on the past couple of years! You can find it here.

#nsbe #not so berry #not so berry extended #thesims4 #the sims 4 #sims4challenges #sims4challenge #sims 4 challenge #sims 4 challenges #nsb #ts4 #misc.#miraculousgemscc

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paladin-andric · 5 years ago

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Character Backgrounds: Eignach, the Outcast

“I've looked for you all of my life, round every corner,

Wishin' on stars like some kind of fool,

But now I see the stars in your eyes, those days are over,

I took one look and I was hooked,

I found heaven in you,

And though my dream was overdue,

My prayer was answered out of the blue,

And now I know, I know it's true,

All that I needed was you”

-From “All That I Needed Was You” sung by Jermy Budd

---------------------------------------

Growing up an orphan in the streets of Genmere, Eignach relied on the generosity of strangers to get by. His parents, it was said, died in a tragic griffin attack on the outskirts of the city. Left homeless and with nobody to support him, Eignach began to fend for himself at a very young age.

The young koutu joined a small gang of human children, a group of misfits that spent their time hunting for work and scraps of food on the street, as well as playing games in their secret hideout; an old abandoned shack no one ever bothered to tear down. This was where they slept, ate, and lived when they had nothing else to do.

“The Failures”, as they jokingly called themselves, managed to scrape by on the charity and accommodations of the more well-off citizens of the capital city of Geralthin. Those that didn’t outright feed or donate to them would often find some work to pay them for. Couriers, sweepers, performers...the children all became odd-job workers, pulling their weight and sharing with the others on bad days...except for Eignach.

The young child had a voracious appetite for knowledge, bordering on obsessive. With a burning passion to learn and a pleading disposition that could melt hearts of ice, Eignach wormed his way into the good graces of a wealthy aristocrat, who allowed him to peruse his library of tomes on nearly all subjects. It became a nearly daily occurrence for Eignach to visit the private library to read, and it was here his two greatest fascinations came into realization: The magic arts, and Razorwing.

The library had a long list of books on the arcane, from history to famous figures to ramblings and philosophy on its use and application. Eignach fell in love with this noble pursuit, and soon began trying to learn how to use magic, convinced he wanted to become a wizard when he grew up. The only problem was that magic was extremely difficult to learn. It was easiest to understand when being taught personally by an experienced wizard, and Eignach was just a child reading book far above his skill level. He did take a shining to a particular spell though, disguise. He imagined how fun and cool it would be to be able to turn into a different person and sneak around into a sorts of amazing places he couldn’t get into before! He would spend the rest of his childhood trying to learn and cast this spell.

His second topic of interest was Razorwing. He read a book about great and mighty heroes across the eras, and toward the end the book listed current, living heroes, and those that appeared to be heroes in the making. It was here he read about a young koutu archer that had just slain The Lightdrinker, an evil dragon that had made a pact with demons for ultimate power in the western kingdom of the birdfolk. Eignach was floored. A koutu, just like him! A brave hero fighting evil monsters and saving the world, right here, right now! Somewhere, he was out there, doing what everyone needed him to do! He began hearing tales of the young hero in the city as well, his name falling on the lips of citizens relaxing in the gardens or having fun in festivals. His fame, and Eignach’s infatuation of him, would only grow over the following years...

Eignach did not have much for his childhood, but he had enough. Good friends, food, and a roof over his head...even if the roof was old and leaky and he wasn’t supposed to be under it. Orphanages weren’t unheard of, but the only ones in Genmere were overburdened and already ran on the charity of others. The common folk understood that, and made sure the street urchins had access to a meal when they came running for one. As he grew into a teenager, Eignach transitioned to work rather than handouts, though he would get those too from kindly citizens.

Eignach began working as a laborer for the city, working hard on construction and repair. It was at this time “The Failures” slowly drifted away. One by one, the growing children, nearing their time as young adults, found their own paths in life. Some left on the road for a different city. Others lucked out and found good, steady work like Eignach and eventually found a place to call their own. A couple simply vanished overnight, never to be heard from again. Perhaps they simply decided their time here was over. Either way, soon enough Eignach found himself the sole occupant of the old shack. He decided to invest the money from work into repairing it. Might as well claim it as a real, true home now that he could and no one else had a say in it. He patched holes in walls, covered up the secret entrances, and turned it from a decrepit clubhouse into a respectable private home.

Now a very young adult, Eignach was floored when the king passed the edict banning all non-humans. His stress and desperation proved the catalyst for finally managing a breakthrough in spellcasting, after all these years of trying. He managed to disguise himself as another person, and even more surprisingly, he managed to make himself look like a human, despite changing the appearance of species being one of the more challenging uses of the spell. He continued to live in Genmere secretly, living out in his house and scavenging odd-jobs where he could.

This came to an end when a magician pierced through his illusion and saw him for what he was. A massive surge of bounty hunters, would-be and professional, arrived to get the ransom on catching him. He was eventually found by Leianna, who cut off the hunt to spite the edict. She gave the young man a scroll of transportation that teleported him to the Koutu Kingdom to the west, where he would be safe.

Despite being in his people’s ancestral homeland, Eignach felt crestfallen and homesick. He was born in Geralthin, and grew up there. He did not feel at home in the slightest, and did not understand and recognize the traditions and culture of the koutu. It was a terrifying prospect to be stuck in these lands, without so much as a single friend to show him the way.

But of course, fate had other plans. One did indeed show him the way, and it was the one man Eignach never thought he’d have the pleasure of meeting.

Razorwing, the famous hero of his people, and the noble guardian of all things right.

The archer ran into Eignach at a festival, who promptly fainted upon meeting his biggest hero. Upon learning of his plight, Razorwing invited Eignach to stay at his manor in the countryside to get his bearings in this land he had never known.

The following years saw strong mental and emotional developments between the pair. Razorwing taught Eignach about their kind, all their traditions and taboos. He brought him to festivals, marathons, and other celebrations that the merry and joy-seeking koutu were known for. He also encouraged Eignach to continue his studies as a magician. Not knowing much about magic, as he never used the art himself, Razorwing believed he simply needed the time and passion to master it. He also made some special arrangements and accommodations to his manor to make it more “human” in design, to help Eignach feel more at home and welcome.

After quite some time, it became clear Eignach was not simply a starstruck fan, but utterly smitten with Razorwing. The hero let the younger koutu pursue him at his own pace, keeping up the facade that he was in the dark. When the magician finally gathered the courage to announce his feelings, Razorwing accepted, and the pair began a new life together.

Due to the circumstances of his past, Razorwing was extremely careful to ensure Eignach was always comfortable and in control of the situation he was in. He took things as slowly as possible, giving time for the younger, more anxious man to make his own choices while encouraging him to do so. “Your life is your own to live", as Razorwing would say, “And no one can live it but you.”

The pair became inseparable, and for a few years they were all that mattered to each other. With so many wild successes, and a flurry of adventurers and heroes, the kingdom of the west found itself with no crises worthy of attention. Razorwing took a break from his adventures as a serene peace settled over the land, focusing instead on the homefront and his new love.

For just a brief while they lived in harmony, Razorwing taking trips to perform in plays of his great deeds and meet with all of those that followed him and his exploits. Eignach would accompany him often, and spent much time trying to learn why he was having so much trouble learning magic.

Soon however, it would come to an end. News of the the City of Palethorn reached the west, that the city the non-humans were herded into was wrapped in a dome of dark shadows. None who entered ever returned, and whispers of the end times started being spread...

There was no hesitation. Razorwing began preparing to leave immediately. He didn’t know if the world would need him again after this, but if it didn’t, this would likely be his greatest, final adventure; a tale of legend of hero fighting against the darkness that would spread beyond the koutu and human kingdoms and all across the known world.

Before he went, he took a moment to speak with Eignach. He made him promise he wouldn’t come after him, no matter what. The young magician was heartbroken by this demand, but he acquiesced. he knew why Razorwing had asked it of him; he couldn’t fight, and he only knew how to reliably perform a single spell that would not aid him in combat. He would be torn to shreds by whatever dark forces were in that city, and that was something Razorwing would rather die than let happen.

He made the promise, and saw Razorwing off on his departure. Tears in his eyes, he watched the love of his life fly off into the horizon, to save a kingdom that didn’t want him, to face the darkest evils the world has yet known...because it was the right thing to do.

Eignach is a very young magician with absolutely no formal training. Colleges dedicated to the arcane exist for a reason, and it’s because without extensive knowledge of the fundamentals of controlling magic, learning spells is incredibly difficult and time consuming. This self-training regiment has been undergone for years in a kind of stubborn resilience, Eignach never considering other courses of action. Perhaps in time he will realize how much a bit of help can change things.

The young, crowlike birdman is characterized by a nervous streak, his anxious and timid nature coinciding with a warm and kind disposition. He prefers someone else calling the shots and defaults to agreeing with what others say; this is why Razorwing spent so much time encouraging him to take the lead and believe in himself. His teachings have rubbed off on Eignach, the young magician’s hyper-timidness transitioning into a healthy amount of humility instead. He still struggles with what others think of him from time to time, however, and he’s still as energetic and excitable as ever.

His life, for the first time he can remember, is truly, deeply fulfilling. He has found a true home and someone to die for, and even more...someone to live for. This is precisely what makes the current situation so frightening for him, however. To simply sit around hoping the love of his life makes it back...he finds it difficult to stay true to his word.

For now he remains in the manor, taking care of the place and spending the long and lonely nights looking up at the stars, wondering what Razorwing was doing right now...

Tag list: @thereisnothingwrongwithbeingmad, @lady-redshield-writes, @paper-shield-and-wooden-sword, @sheralynnramsey, @tawnywrites, @writer-on-time, @oceanwriter, @zwergis-spilledink, @fluffpiggy, @elliewritesfantasy, @homesteadchronicles, @laurenwastestimewriting, @elaynab-writing, @the-ichor-of-ruination, @candy687, @fierywords, @shewrites-sometimes, @nerds-and-nebulae, @purpleshadows1989

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blastron01 · 6 years ago

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Ascendance of a Bookworm – 092

The Discussion with the Head Priest and My Determination

Having been rejected before I could say even a single word, I'm left completely unable to comprehend what the head priest just said. I hadn't even considered the possibility that someone who knows about the situation in the orphanage could tell me that there's no reason to improve it.

"What do you mean by there being no reason to improve the situation?" I ask. "There are very young kids in there on the verge of starving to death. That's no place to raise children..."

Thinking that perhaps he just hasn't heard all of the details, I uneasily start to explain to him what I saw earlier today, but he just raises his hands, cutting me off.

"With all of the working gray-robed priests and priestesses, as well as their attendants, we simply do not have the funds to spare for unbaptized orphans. Since you were raised by your parents from birth, you may not be aware of this, but the temple does not recognize unbaptized children as people. When they receive their baptisms and are registered as citizens, then they are acknowledged as people."

I already knew that it's not possible to hire someone who hasn't been baptized yet, so I'd figured that there was some sort of similar situation going on here. However, I can't imagine being okay with how those kids are being treated just because they aren't technically considered people.

"...So, then, you don't care if those children die?" "Yes, if that were to be the gods' will. To be perfectly honest, it would be a great help if their numbers were to thin out."

I was hoping he'd say he actually cared, but he instead just clearly says that he doesn't. As I sit there, dumbfounded, he begins to explain to me the situation with the gray-robed priests and priestesses that currently remain in the orphanage.

"There used to be over twice as many blue robes as there are now. As for their attendants and apprentices, the math is easy to do. One blue robe has, on average, five to six attendants working for them. So, now that so many of them have been called back to noble society, do you understand how many attendants they left behind?"

If there are ten fewer blue-robed clergy here than there were before, then that means that there's between sixty and seventy attendants that were left here. Here in the temple, where attendants are supported as part of the blue robed priests' donations and living expenses, that would definitely cause an administrative breakdown.

"We were able to sell off thirty of the unnecessary priests and priestesses to the nobility to work as servants, but there are still too many here." "Perhaps some of those priests could be tasked with taking care of the young children?" "If they're being taken care of, then it'll be problematic if their number increases again. Do you know why the temple master disposes of his gray-robed priestesses? Hm, I think you might not be able to understand what I'm trying to say."

What I'm trying to get across is that, even though the number of blue-robed priests and priestesses at the temple is the lowest it's ever been right now, that number will rise again in the next few years, so it would be a problem if there simply wasn't anyone left in the orphanages. The head priest, however, says that the gods' blessings are already insufficient, so it'll be an even bigger problem if the number of people in the orphanage increases any more than it already has.

"...At the very least, even if it's just cleaning, can't something be done? I can easily imagine a plague ripping its way through such a filthy environment." "Hmm. It's unsightly, so it's better to bury it all, you say? The thought isn't without its merits, but that would not be good for our reputation." "No!! That's not at all what I meant..."

How the hell did you come up with that idea?!

I bite down on an angry yell. Our standpoints and sets of common knowledge are just too different. Even though we're hearing each others' words, we're not actually gaining a shared understanding.

"Father," I say, "why does the orphanage exist? Is it not a place to raise children who don't have any parents?" "That's not entirely correct. It is a place that, at the charity of nobles, takes in children who have no one else to look after them and raises them so that they may serve the nobility."

Even what we think the orphanage is for is way too different. I can't even communicate any of my emotions about how they're pitiful or how I want to help them.

The head priest, sighs, seeming to be similarly irritated about not being understood.

"If you want something to be done about the dying children, then why don't you do it? Nobody thus far has wanted to become the orphanage director. If you were to take that position, then you'd have full responsibility over the entire orphanage. Will you do it?"

I gulp. I hadn't expected him to ask me that. While I do want to help the orphans, I am nowhere close to ready to take on the burden of taking care of the entire orphanage. I can't do something so terrifying.

I clench my fists tightly in my lap. "I can't," I say, shaking my head.

He nods, humming thoughtfully. Looking down at me, he continues his argument.

"Then, considering the current ratio of blue to gray robes, the gods' blessings are sufficient to feed about forty people in the orphanage. You, out of all the blue-robed clergy, are the most able to be free with your money. Are you capable of providing food for the remaining forty-plus people living in the orphanage?" "...I am not. My workshop holds most of my funds. I don't actually have that much money I can freely use."

Between furnishing my rooms and paying my attendants, I'm already overspending right now. Right now, I'm at the level where I'm more-or-less okay, thanks to the money I made from selling recipes. But since the Italian restaurant isn't even open yet, I don't have any prospects for earning any more money. Right now, there's no way I can take on feeding all of the orphans.

"You can't take responsibility and you can't provide any funding. If you can't do anything, then be silent. A child like you, with your half-baked sense of justice, should not run your mouth. Don't think about silly things, just go be a good girl and read those books you love so much."

What he's saying is undeniably correct. I have no rebuttal. I can't do anything about it, so I have no right to complain. Rather than doing something half-heartedly, it would be better if I just did nothing at all.

"...I am terribly sorry for wasting your time," I say.

Head hanging, I leave the head priest's chamber.

I asked him for help and was told no. There is nothing more I can do. I have no choice but to just bear with it. No matter how much I try to tell myself that, though, it still feels like there's a ball of lead churning around in my stomach.

"Sister Maïne," says Fran, kneeling beside me, "shall I lead you to the library room? I believe that may help ease your mind."

There's genuine concern in his voice, unlike the sour tone he'd used when I told him I wanted to speak with the head priest.

"...Fran, did you know this was going to happen?" "It was my job to understand what the Father is thinking. As such, I judged that this conversation would only dishearten you. Please, forget about the orphanage."

Fran takes me by the hand, and we go to the library. As I read, I immerse myself in the book, not thinking about anything unnecessary. However, before I even realize it, the sixth bell rings, telling me that it's time for Lutz to come pick me up. I need to leave the library and go back to my own room to change.

On my way back to my room, I catch a glimpse of the orphanage from the hallway. In that instant, all of the images come flooding back through my mind, and my gut starts to churn.

"Urgh..."

The instant I start to heave, I clap my hand over my mouth, trying desperately to keep everything in. Fran hurriedly picks me up, bringing me to a cleaning bucket.

I try not to cry as I throw up into the bucket.

There's no way I can forget what I saw. If I could spend every waking moment reading, then I might be able to forget about it, but I know that when I'm not reading, it's all going to come back.

In my Urano days, there was a huge physical distance between Japan and Africa. There wasn't a whole lot of impact on my daily life, so donating a couple hundred yen was enough to assuage my conscience. All I ever saw was the image on the TV screen, so my reaction was only ever "oh, those poor kids". Even if the topic came up when I was in the middle of eating dinner, I could forget about it immediately.

Now, though, my rooms are literally connected to the orphanage. Now that I know that there's only a single wall separating me from that awful situation, I won't be able to rest easy at all.

"Sister Maïne, how'd it go?"

Gil innocently runs up to me, asking me how my conversation went. His purple eyes, so dark they're almost black, are so full of hope that they're painful to look at.

I avert my eyes. "I'm sorry, Gil. The head priest refused me." "Wh... why?!"

Gil stares at me in panicked disbelief. Not only can I not save the orphans from their situation, I can't even meet Gil's expectations. I stare down at the floor, bracing myself for whatever he's going to say next.

"Gil, restrain yourself," says Fran. "Ugh, you idiot," says Delia. "Didn't I tell you that getting your hopes up was pointless?"

Their words hold him back. He chews his lip, looking like he has something he really wants to say, but then hangs his head in silence.

As Delia gets things ready to help me get changed, she shrugs, with a know-it-all expression on her face.

"The one really responsible for that situation is the temple master," she says, matter-of-factly, "who says that priestesses who are bearing child can't do their work and are useless, so they're always the first people he gets rid of. There's nothing that the head priest can do about that." "Delia?" I say. "It's true! Priestesses whose bellies are too big or who have just given birth live over there, but whenever it's decided that there's too many people in there, then they're the first to go, right? But, when guests come, you need to be able to offer them flowers, so there need to be replacements available for any priestesses whose bellies get too big, so you can't get rid of too many of them."

Delia tells me that right now, the gray-robed priestesses and apprentices that are left in the orphanage who do the cleaning and laundry are all fairly young and fairly attractive. Priestesses who give birth are disposed of. The ones who aren't pretty are sold off as servants to the nobility. All that's left are those who are candidates to be flowers. It sounds like this is all the result of keeping around only what's necessary for the blue-robed priests.

Men can't bear children, so they work for much longer. As a result, they become highly educated and thus fetch a high price when sold to the nobility as attendants. However, since the number of nobles in the city has decreased, there hasn't been as much demand. So, right now, there are actually more priests left over than priestesses.

"So what you're telling me is that the children in the orphanage are the blue-robed priests' children, then?" I ask. "Doesn't that mean they'll have noble blood?" "...About half of them, do, I think? I mean, I do," she says, without hesitation. "Huh? Then, you have mana, too?" "The more mana you have, the harder it is to conceive a child. So, the only blue-robed priests here that are able to father children are the ones who have very little mana. I heard that fathering a child means that a priest will never be called back to noble society," she says.

So, now, all that's left in the temple are blue-robed priests who don't have any mana. This excessively self-centered style of management makes both my head and my stomach hurt.

"The temple master", Delia continues, "is the one who decides what goes on in the temple, so rather than try to go against him, I think it'd be better to do things he'd be happy with. Now, then! Gentlemen, please leave. Sister Maïne must get changed."

She claps her hands, driving Fran and Gil from the room, then starts quickly changing my clothes for me.

"Ugh! Don't make that face. You look like you're going to die. Just forget about it, alright? Even if you worry, there's nothing you can do about it," she says, skillfully helping me get dressed.

There's no way that there's nothing that I can do. If I invest all of Maïne's Workshop's funds, I should be able to do something.

However, neither the temple master nor the head priest are seeking to improve the orphanage. Also, if I do invest, then once my funds dry up, then everything goes back the way it was. On top of that, I don't have it in me to be able to take on the burden of caring for all of those peoples' lives. I'm too gripped with fear to even be able to just invest money in the problem.

"Lutz! Lutz!" "Maïne?!"

I run through the temple gates, latching on tightly to Lutz. The instant I grab hold of him, all the tears I've been holding back burst forth, like a dam breaking. It's probably because of the sense of relief I feel from having returned to a place where my own knowledge of how things work is actually correct.

Lutz, by reflex, starts patting my head as he looks up at Fran, who came to see me off today.

"Did something happen?" he says. "I shall explain while we walk," replies Fran, glancing briefly at the gatekeepers.

As we walk through streets full of people hurrying to get home, Fran explains to Lutz what had happened today.

"All she did was ask the head priest to help the orphans. She was unable to persuade him and was forced to abandon her attempt, but it seems that her heart remains unconvinced." "...Whoa, those kids are going to die? That's real rough. But, Maïne, there isn't anything you can actually do about it, right? You should ignore it. Forget about it."

I live a poor, but still relatively comfortable life, so that scene struck me exceptionally deeply. There's no way I can just be convinced otherwise.

"I think it would be great if I could just forget about it," I say, tears streaming down my face. "I'd love to not know about it. But now that I know that something like that is happening literally on the other side of my wall, there's no way I can just forget about it!"

Lutz stops walking, turning to look at me directly.

"You really hate that disaster that you saw, right? What do you want it to be instead?"

The images flash through my mind again, and I think to myself about what I'd like to see in the orphanage instead.

"...I want those kids to be able to eat until they're all full, and I want them to all grow up big and strong. I want them to not have to sleep on that filthy, stinky, uncovered straw that looks like it's getting them all sick. I want them sleeping on blankets, at least!" "Huh? You want them to eat until they're full? Man, you gotta be rich to do that, right? It's normal to just eat enough that you've got energy to keep moving. I don't even get to eat until I'm full at my house, you know."

It sounds like I'm aiming too high. Thinking back to my own life at home, I suddenly realize that I was thinking about managing the orphanage from the standards of noble society at the temple.

Lately, at the temple, I've been able to eat as much delicious food as I could possible want. Since even at home we've managed to increase our household earnings, I'd forgotten that it's rare for kids in the poorer parts of the city to be able to eat their fill. Lutz, for one, is constantly hungry, and is always constantly fighting for food with his brothers at the dinner table.

"Ah, right, they don't actually need to be all full..." "And it's weird to expect that you'd be the one bringing in all the food, right? What about what they can get for themselves? If they're hungry, rather than just waiting around, what could they do?"

Since the temple is a particularly peculiar institution, I hadn't been using my own common knowledge to think of solutions, but if I set the target standard of living as an average kid from the poor parts of town, then the financial burden drops massively. Any food that can't be bought can be foraged for in the forest and brought back.

"Unfortunately, the orphans are not allowed to leave the temple," says Fran, looking pained.

The orphans are, for all practical purposes, kept locked in the orphanage. Before their baptism, it's so that the nobility doesn't have to see anything unsightly. After, it's so that they don't learn anything undesirable.

I don't think to comment on Fran's view. Lutz, however, has no knowledge of how the temple works, and objects.

"So, tell me," he says, tilting his head, "who decided that orphans can't leave the temple? If they're not needed for anything, then there's no problem for them to be going to the forest, now, is there? Like, what about you and Gil? You can leave." "Fran and Gil are my attendants," I say, "so they're a special case."

Since I commute to and from the temple, escorting me to and from home is part of their job. It's effectively the same as when other blue-robed priests bring their attendants with them to the nobles' district. It's not like they can just come and go freely.

"So, how about you take all the kids that are left there and make them your attendants? If you do that, then they can all leave, right?" "...Huh?"

I look up at Lutz, blinking several times at his unexpected proposal.

"Please hold on," says Fran. "Think of how many... Sister Maïne, would it not be unreasonable for you to provide the necessities of life to all of them?" "Well," says Lutz, "if we're thinking of getting them outside, then yeah we need to get all of them clothes, but since we're just talking about clothes for going to the forest, then we can get them real cheap from some of the second-hand clothing stores we use, can't we?"

I start running the math in my head for buying used clothing for all of the orphans, as well as getting knives and baskets for going to the forest. Since it would be impossible, after all, for everyone to simultaneously abandon their duties in the temple to go to the forest, I could have a squad rotation instead, meaning that they'd be able to share equipment, cutting down on how much I need to buy.

"...If it's just cheap second-hand clothing for fifty to sixty people, plus knives and baskets for going to the forest, then it'll be cheap," I say. "It'll be about thirty percent of the cost I spent on clothes for you and the other two," I tell Fran.

Fran's eyes fly open in shock, and he looks down at what he's wearing. The clothes I bought for my attendants are high class. They are nothing even remotely comparable to what I wear when I'm at home.

"They should be able to go to the forest, forage for food, and take care of themselves. After all, the orphanage doesn't have any money, so in other words, they're all poor people."

He's being very blunt, but he's also very right. They shouldn't just have to wait to be given things they need. They should be able to take care of themselves.

I turn to Fran. "Since I've asked you and Gil to go to Benno's shop a few times already, it sounds like it's possible to send attendants out on errands?" "...You are correct," he says, slowly. "So, if I were to ask my attendants to go to the forest to harvest, say, folin for me, then would that be possible?"

Lutz's eyes immediately light up.

"A branch of Maïne's Workshop in the orphanage?" "Yeah! If I open up a branch of Maïne's Workshop in the orphanage, and they can make things in order to pay for their own food expenses, then even if I'm not there anymore, then they won't start starving."

Rather, getting them in a position where they can go to the forest, gather food, and cook for themselves comes first. As Lutz and I talk about what the most efficient way to do things might be and where to start the project from, Fran suddenly interjects, looking like he has something hard to say.

"These are all very excellent ideas," he says. "...However. These are all extremely different from how the temple has done things historically. The head priest will also ask you if you are prepared to shoulder the responsibility for all of those people. Are you able to do so?"

All of the blood instantly drains from my face.

It's exactly as he says. I'm an outsider, and a child at that. If I were to suddenly burst in, ignoring all custom, and ransack the orphanage, I can't imagine any good would come from that. I'd be in conflict with the blue-robed priests, including the temple master and the head priest, and if I'm paying people based on their work at the workshop, then no matter how you look at it that's not distributing everything equally among everyone.

"Sorry, Lutz. I can't take on that much responsibility. It's too scary..." "So. Which is scarier, then? All those orphans dying without you doing anything, or taking responsibility?" "..."

They're both terrifying. If I abandon the orphanage the way that it currently is, then every single day I'm going to feel like there's a leaden pit in my stomach. However, there's no way that I can actually take responsibility for other peoples' lives.

I hold my hand to my stomach. Lutz just shrugs at me.

"Hey, Maïne. Don't think about it too hard. If you try, and it doesn't work, it's okay to just stop, isn't it?" "Lutz, just stopping... the lives of the orphans are at stake, you know?"

I scowl at him, but he just snorts back at me in a very Benno-like fashion.

"Isn't it normal for a workshop that doesn't do any work or a shop that doesn't have any sales to go bankrupt? But if you're doing this in the orphanage, then even if the workshop goes under, then it's not like the workers are suddenly out in the cold, you know?" "...Because they're still living in the orphanage, and at least they're still getting the gods' blessings, huh." "Even if the workshop doesn't work out, nobody's going to be out on the streets, so what exactly does it mean that you need to take responsibility for their lives? Also, since we're talking about something Maïne's Workshop is doing, you know you've got me here with you too, right?"

I think there are probably a lot of different things that I'll need to take responsibility for. If Benno were telling me to take responsibility, then he'd be telling me to take responsibility as the workshop's head. And there's bound to be even more cases I'm not thinking about.

But, still. If I'm working together with Lutz, then I think we might just be alright. It's too scary for me to do by myself, but if I have Lutz with me, who's been by my side all this time, then I'm positive that we'll be able to make something work.

"Let's do this together, Maïne," he says. "You want to help them, right?" "Yeah!" I reply, jumping forward to take his outstretched hand.

Fran smiles, looking like he's facing down the inevitable.

"I shall assist you as well, Sister Maïne," he says.

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oldsalempost-blog · 6 years ago

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THE OLD SALEM POST

Our Local Salem SC News each Monday to be enjoyed and shared!

Volume 3 Issue 1 Week of January 7th 2019 Contact: [email protected] Distributed to local businesses, town hall and library.

EDITOR: I hope the Christmas message is alive in your heart as we begin a new year. New Year, new begin- nings. Christmas lasts through Epiphany at our home, the Twelve Days of Christmas. I enjoy the Christmas tree and the Nativity and never feel rushed to take it down. Our tree this year has special meaning because it was cut on our own property. It is like a really big Charlie Brown tree, but I think it is one of our prettiest trees ever. Each special ornament can be seen more purely, hanging between un-crowded limbs. Simple, pure, un-crowded and focused: Sounds like a good new year resolution. **** On another note I urge Salem residents to contact your Council candidates Jimmy Barker and Tony Grogan to know more about them and their thoughts and plans for our town. It is important for voters to know their candidates and feel confident when casting a vote for your voice in our small town. ***** THANK-YOU to some private individuals I have seen picking up litter on the road sides! I saw one on Lake Cherokee Road and another at the corner of Alexander Road and Hwy 130. Clean roadsides equal the same joy as a clean house! I****Please send me any news you would like shared.*** Share your joy! Share your faith. Share love in your community,! LRM

KJV Genesis 1:1 “ In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.” A New Year Thought: Put God “in the beginning” of everything you do this year.

EPIPHANY: The manifestation of Christ presented to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi. Also know as Three Kings Day that celebrated God incarnate as the Christ child. A moment of sudden revelation or insight. The Twelfth-day of Christmas.

TOWN OF SALEM: January 15th upcoming election for a vacant council seat. Tony Grogan and Jimmy Barker are vying for the position. Town Council meetings held the 2nd Tuesday each month at 6pm. We will be honoring Jeff and Julie Pierce for their community service as outstanding individuals in our community who have had a positive impact through hard works and selfless acts of kindness.

TAI CHI on Tuesdays and Thursdays for beginners and advanced offered by Howard Lewis.Deep Healing Qigong CLASSES CANCELLED FOR NOW. Stay tuned for further notice.SISTER’S Restaurant will be closed for vacation Jan 7th-16th.

SALEM LIBRARY: Jan 14th Book Signing for Hot Coffee and Cold Pizza by Elaine Cameron. Please come and bring a friend. Tuesdays Jan 15th, 22nd, 29th at 10:30am Story Time, Rhymes, Songs and more and at 3:30pm Steam Ahead Story Time. All Thursdays 2:30pm Painting for Fun, Free in the Community Building. Bring your materials and have fun! Jan 18th T(w)een Time: Paper Affirmation Bracelets. Create a bracelet as a reminder to stay positive. All month: Android Device Help and Word Processing Help Time.

JVBC– JOCASSEE VALLEY BREWING COMPANY this week see FB for more details to come: Special Open Mondayat 5pm for the National Championship Title Clemson vs Alabama. Bring an appetizer to share if you like. $1 off pints.Wed- 5-9pm $1 off all pints, BYOF (food). Thurs 5-9pm BYOF. Fri- 4-10pm. Tuba Gin music. Sat- 2-10pm Mark Queen and Owen Grooms music. Sun- 2-7pm. BYOF.

HEALTH TIP: Try a soft scarf around your neck the next time you are cold. They are easy on, easy off and attractive. For soft skin, use extra virgin olive oil on your skin after you shower, or anytime of the day. It is a natural oil and easilyfound in your kitchen cabinet. Remember to add many “steps” in your day, even if you are standing still. Step in place.

DO YOU HAVE A FAITH STORY? Faith stories are meant to be shared. I have heard so many won- derful and meaningful stories of how God works in our lives. If we let our stories die, then our faith is not shared to a greater audience or even to our own family generations to come. Thinking of the things that are important in my own life, makes me want to reach out to help others see the impor- tance of sharing with present and future generations, your stories. If you have a story to share, please contact me through theoldsalempost.com. LRM

EAGLE RIDGE SCHOOL NEWS

EAGLE RIDGE BOOSTER: Because of faculty, parents, friends, and community, we are able to “boost”our athletes in every way. We would not have an athletic program without volunteers and this wonderful community. Thank you for your support!

BASKETBALL THIS WEEK : Jan. 10TH Eagle Ridge away game at Oconee Christian Academy. Middle School and Varsity games start at 5pm. Next week Eagle Ridge will host Highlands on Jan. 17th starting at 5pm with Middle School followed by Varsity games. Eagle Ridge will host Whitmire on Jan. 18th start- ing at 6pm with Varsity games.

TAMASSEE DAR TALMAGE AUDITORIUM: We would love to invite families in the Salem community to bring their children and enjoy this performance of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer with us on Sunday afternoon, February 17th. The performance begins at 2 p.m. and will last an hour. Admission is FREE! This will be the 6th time this troupe has visited campus and performed for the staff and students. I believe the families in the community will have a great time and we would like to extend the invitation for them to join us this year. Please tell your friends to promote this performance!

CHURCH NEWS

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HELPED MAKE THE LIVING NATIVITY A BLESSING TO OUR COMMUNITY!

COMMUNITY FOOD BANK: Local churches provided food for 122 families in our community last year! No one should be hungry! Please contact James and Teresa Barker 944-0258 if you need food or to donate.

BOONES CREEK BAPTIST CHURCH: 261 Boone Creek Road Salem (Toward Jocassee.) Regular Services Sunday School at 10am, Worship at 11am, Sun- day evening services. CALVARY BAPTIST CHURCH: 235 E Main Street Salem. Sunday morning and evening services. Wednesday evening services. CHARITY BAPTIST: located on Sunset Drive, Salem. Pastor Carl Dockins Sunday School at 10am. Preaching at 11am/ Sunday night at 6pm. Wed.night service.

KEOWEE FALLS CHURCH OF GOD: 131 Salem Church Rd. Salem. Sunday School 10am, Worship 11am, Sunday night 6pm, and Wed night at 7pm.

SALEM FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH: 151 Crestwood Dr. Salem. Regular services, Sunday School 10 am, Worship 11am, Sunday. Wednesday nights.SALEM SEVENTH-DAY ADVENTIST CHURCH: 240 W Main Street Salem. Services Every Saturday 9:30am Preaching, 11am Sabbath School. Prayer Meeting every Wednesday at 7pm. Located 240 W. Main St., Salem. Fellowship dinner every Saturday at 12:00. All welcome! SALEM UNITED METHODIST CHURCH: 520 Church St. Salem. Breakfast every Sunday 9am with Sunday School at 9:30. Worship at 10:30am. Casual Wednesday service each week at 6:30-7:15.

ST. JOHN’S LUTHERAN CHURCH, ELCA, 301 West Main Street, Walhalla. A very friendly church welcomes all visitors to service . Sundays at 10:30 a.m. Rev. Dr. Rachel Connelly, Pastor. WWW.STJOHNSWALHALLA.ORG

SCRIPTURE: 2 Corinthians 5:17 If anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new ishere!” Happy New Year!

Are there any missionary groups who can use recycled Christian literature? Email [email protected] if you would like the paper via email each week. Printing by Town of Salem.

Pats’ Cash and Carry, great home town gathering to read The Old Salem Post and to get the best hot dog in SC. Listed as #7 in Places to visit in SC! 864-944-1445

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lalka-laski · 3 years ago

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Have you ever bought a YouTuber’s merch? No. There's no Youtuber or influencer that I care enough about to spend money on.

Do you think oatmeal tastes better when made with water or milk? Although it tastes better with milk I always just make it with water out of convenience

Have you ever left a note in a library book? That sounds like something I would've done as a kid

What time of day do you prefer to wash your hair? When my schedule allows for morning showers I prefer them. But it's rare I get that chance.

Has anyone ever spread lies about you? Yeah, middle school is rough on us alll

Have you ever taken a photograph with a celebrity? If so, did it turn out the way you wanted, or do you wish you could retake it? Yes, and it came out OK but I heavily edited it before posting it to Facebook. As I do with most photos of myself.

If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? As much as I dislike this country and where we're headed, I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. The devil you know, I guess...

Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? Taylor Swift is nowhere near the groundbreaking talent that everyone thinks she is. I'm not a hater, but it bothers me that she's on this pedestal.

If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? All of the above causes are important and intertwined, so helping one in turns, helps others. I personally like donating my time and money to women-focused charities.

Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? It's such a waste to go to a new place and NOT soak up all it has to offer.

Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? In a way

Has anybody ever told you that you could be a model? Yeah

Do you use different kinds of moisturizer for different body parts? ie. hand lotion for your hands, face cream for your face. Or do you just use one moisturizer for all body parts? I have ones specifically for my face and then lotion for the rest of my body

Have you ever felt like you were someone’s rebound? Mhm

Has anybody ever broken up with you over something really pathetic? What was it? Have you ever been dumped in a disrespectful way? (eg. through text, through a friend..) I was dumped in a disrespectful way, yes. Minutes after having sex...

Did you have a lot of role models as a kid? Not really

Do you feel like anyone looks up to you? Why or why not? I don't know why anyone would

What was the last thing you found offensive? My own behavior

Who is the nicest person you know? Marlee

Do you feel safe in your country? I don't know. I can recognize my own privilege enough to say that while *I* feel safe, many others don't.

Do you feel safe where you live? Yeah

Have you been falsely diagnosed with something by a bad doctor? Umm not that I know of

Have you ever had a doctor refuse to treat you? No

Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): My sister and I played a lot of WEIRD shit growing up...

Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? Not that I know of

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? One that wouldn't bother me. Garfield? Haha

Do you like marshmallows? In S'mores!

What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? Just the regular mint ones

Have you ever fostered an animal? Nope

Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out? It depends

When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two? Now that you mention it, I think it varies

What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? I never really lusted after a pet

List three people you’ve had crushes on: LOL you trying to embarrass me?

Have you ever thrown up from cramps? Yep, and my cramps only get worse as I age. FUN!

List three people you had a hard time forgiving. Myself, myself, myself

Who is the most spiritual person you know? My mom is a good bet

Would you ever start a vlog? I would, I just don't have anything interesting enough to vlog about

Are your dreams coming true yet? Yes

Do you struggle with depression? Yep and I'm in a particularly bad bout of it right now. I just folded half a load of laundry and tossed the rest back in the laundry bag because I didn't have the energy to finish.

Are you haunted by your past? YES

What medical conditions do you have? GERD/Acid reflux, anxiety, depression, PTSD

Do you use a Magic Bullet? Nope

What does your apron look like? I don't wear one

What are your favorite spicy foods? I'm kind of a baby when it comes to spice

Which do you like better: being an adult or being a kid? I guess I prefer the freedom and emotional awareness of being an adult

Were you excited to be a teenager on your thirteenth birthday? Not really. Those were a rough few years

Did you feel insecure in high school? Who the hell didn't?

Would you ever be friends with someone who was suicidal? That's such an uncomfortable question.

Who was the biggest bully in high school? I can think of a few. But they're so irrelevant now and karma caught up with them

What was your favorite class in high school? AP Lit

Would you rather have a daughter or a son? Daughters pleaaaase I beg!

Have you ever written to an advice columnist? I used to write a pretend advice column (questions and answers) in my little pretend magazines growing up

Have you ever had a doctor not believe what you told him? I don't think so

If you’re female, would you feel uncomfortable having a male gynecologist? Yes, it wouldn't be my first choice

Do you like Lisa Frank? I did back in the day

What gives you nightmares? My own fucking life and memories

Were you ever hospitalized as a child? Yes

Did you get senior pictures taken? Yep, and I hated them. Go figure

What color is your bicycle? I don't have one

Did you ever have to take home a fake baby in health class? I never took that class

Would you rather wear ivory or white on your wedding day? What color will your bridesmaids wear? I don't know yet

Would you rather have a swimming pool or trampoline? Swimming pool!

Do you think babies are cute? I LOVE babies

Do you dream about the future a lot? Mhm

Do you think about your past a lot? Way too much, it's so unhealthy for me

How good are you at living in the moment? Terrible at it

Have you ever questioned God’s existence? Yes

Vanilla frosting or chocolate? Neither What’s your favorite foreign cuisine? Mexican or Greek

Have you ever moved to another state? Nope

Did you do anything productive today? I'm at work but I'm not exactly being productive

Can you say the alphabet backwards? Nope

Do you like flowers? I love them

Have you ever thought you were gonna die? Yeah, anxiety will do that to ya

What kind of mood are you in today? Anxious, stressed, lethargic, hopeless

What are you craving right now? Pizza, but when am I not

Is there anyone you would seriously punch right now if you had the chance? Blah

What is worse, physical or emotional pain? Emotional, of course

Have you ever walked in on somebody doing something… questionable? Yeah

If you were to make videos on YouTube, what would they be of? Book reviews maybe?

Posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit on the internet - ok or not? Of course it's OK. I personally wouldn't because I'm self-conscious but more power to anyone who likes their body enough to do that. I'm jealous.

Do you typically laugh when somebody falls down? Yeah but I think it's fair because I also laugh at myself when I fall down

What is the most disturbing movie you’ve ever watched? Human Centipede

Your opinion of Katy Perry, please? Her voice is sooo grating to me. Can't stand it

If you could say anything to your Mom right now… what would it be? I'm sorry for being a fuckup?

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mark-drifter-ph · 4 years ago

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Halloween in December

Note: it's December again so i re-publish this old spoken word that ive wrote back then when i used to sleep in garage music studio with my friend, i haven't been able to make an audio recording of this but enjoy a sample of my fierce writing!

Start: This is for all the kids who are dying of starvation. Coz you fucking morons don't care about everyone else's problems. You don't know shit about nothing, so you don't know how to solve them. This is for the kids who grew up thinking they could be anybody but lack the opportunities..who have to struggle each day, while you bastards are robbing them of their future. Sit back, relax, and watch TV. You fucking coward! you are a disgrace to humanity. This is for the homeless people who read philosophy books in libraries, sleeping in churches coz they have nowhere to go and write manifestos under the street light. This is for the real writers, whose names will never appear in best sellers, but you can see their names in buses & trains & street signs. For the wild & crazy space pirates who howl at the moon & map constellations in the sky. For the ego driven quixotic narcissists who are doing good deeds just for kicks, who help build schools in 3rd world countries & burning down slave labor factories, the beautiful prostitutes who steal money from tourists so they can afford to go to college, to the hackers making viruses, donating to charity, for the fellow foreigners & immigrants who volunteer to soup kitchens, friendly locals who refuse to be friends with cops or Nazis, to the nomads & free spirits..we are everywhere and are nowhere, simply trying to survive resisting conformity, building our own communities.

You see.. I don't care if you don't understand me. This empty space within my soul has no room for your ignorance....I will never be like you, and you will never be me. I may be alone, but there are plenty of others who are just like me who feel the same way. Im the Zeitgeist, the drifter, the sage, the glitcher of static, the sign of the times, the agent of change. I give fire to those who need it.I give voice to the voiceless, Heart for the heartless, Hope for the hopeless, Coz it's Halloween in December!

This is for everyone who are praying for salvation, confined in hospitals or rushed to emergency rooms coz they have a problem breathing or their wounds cant stop bleeding.. Can't you see that it's not too late to live your life to the fullest. yes, the world is a fucking nightmare - to a lot of us poor people especially. yes i know it's painful. yes i know it's tragic, it's fucking foolish to refuse to hold these corporations accountable for their crimes of poisoning our air & water supply, selling us unhealthy food. now you're sick and you're tired, you don't wish to fight, such a shame how you live your life, too afraid to confront those who are responsible for your tragedy, spare me your tears of suffering & misery, how can you sleep at night when on the other side of the world, women are victims of human trafficking, they are raped and murdered and their families die from curable diseases. So are you just gonna give up, lie down, and be like that until your final moment then they strip you naked, cut you open and bury you to the ground, what a pitiful way to expire or are you gonna stand up and make a change, do what you desire with your last breath, perish in the flames & die like a champion, in the blaze of glory, knowing you have made a difference & that you actually matter in history.

This is for all the dateless losers who stopped wasting their time blaming themselves for being different. Pick up a pen & paper, write love letters....send them to strangers, like the ones who are planning to kill themselves tonight coz nobody loves them, bullied at school & have endured racism for the color of their skin or because of their religion. Stop trying to fit in & just be yourself, find your own voice, invent your own gender, live your dreams and make art, and stop trying to be cool like those wannabe punks with fake rebellion. And don't get me started about trendy scenesters in every subculture who just copy their idols, and copy each other. And please.. if you're gonna be angry at something, don't take it on someone who is weaker than you, like your young son & daughters, throw a rock to the face of compulsive liars, like the politicians we help put into power who are trying to divide us from each other. The real criminals should be in jail, not the ones who are victimized by the system.

This is for all you assholes who think you know me better than myself. Don't label me with your nonsense, don't act like you are better than me, your words are worthless & boring, my words give women orgasm. I can fucking destroy you if i want to, but i've chosen compassion. Don't tell me how you love nature i don't see you stopping bulldozers & the waves of progress from turning forests into shopping malls & apartments. Im sick of your hypocrisy about how you love animals while you swallow their corpses through your mouth and put your best friend on a leash like it was your slave. How bout you wearing that shit and be inside a cage so you finally know how it feels and what's it's like. I remain unconvinced with your logic and your society's structure. I don't care about your conspiracy theories, and fuck your New World Order, i order you to stop listening to that shitty music in your phone and make your own, start thinking for yourself, start listening to people around you, not in behalf of those who make profit out of your insecurities & indecisions, filling your mind with a void & superficial garbage. Im not your ghost, i am not your scarecrow or monster- don't fucking associate me with your stupid delusions, I'm a being of light that has chosen the path of darkness I don't want your heart, im after your demons. I don't care if you don't understand me. This empty space within my soul has no room for your ignorance....I will never be like you, and you will never be me. I may be alone, but there are others who are just like me. People like you are like candles. I will be that fire for those who needs it. Coz it's Halloween in December!

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scaredofrobots · 7 years ago

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The Failed Advent Calendar

For @petalstofish who is my fellow “skip everything its Christmas” pal. This is a prequel to THIS which is also Petals’ Fault. Lily Evans attempts an 84 Day Advent Calendar FFN

October 1, the sun rose over the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and caused several individuals within the sixth year dorms of Gryffindor tower to be filled with excitement and anticipation for a variety of reasons.

In the boys dormitory, James Potter woke up before the sun and headed down to the Great Lake to begin preparations for his Halloween prank. He bid goodbye to his sleeping mates and cheerfully made his way with Hagrid’s recommended “squid snacks”.

In the girls dormitory, Lily Evans was still sleeping. She had her “October 1 Christmas Jumper” laid out to wear for her Invitation Only Big 84 Days Until Christmas Event to take place that evening in the Gryffindor common room and was dreaming of dancing Sugar Plums.

While James was attempting to communicate with the Giant Squid through morse bubble code, his mates were planning their “Lilytober” activities on their way to breakfast and were blissfully unaware of the plans created for them by the woman who their favorite month had been named after. Remus had to go to the library to return a book, so Sirius and Peter gleefully headed toward the Great Hall after promising to bring him some tea and toast to charms.

Later, Sirius would reflect upon the moment he should’ve known that the entire month was going to go to shit was when he was greeted at breakfast by an all too cheerful Lily Evans.

Lily Evans, who he had only been friends with since August 22nd when she completely drank him under the table at the Longbottom’s wedding and somehow still successfully talked them out of not only the underage magic citation but the underage drinking citation. James had been suspicious when Lily greeted Sirius so cordially on the train on September 1st. But Sirius simply said “I had a ‘Chat with Evans’ and the Longbottom’s wedding and we are now mates”. He shuddered to think how disgustingly besotted James would get if he knew not only how much of a lush the love of his life was but also how good she was getting out of trouble.

However, on October 1 Sirius was just glad to see his newly found mate- holding a plate filled with his preferred breakfast (50% bacon, 25% toast, 10% eggs and 15% potatoes) that he didn’t even think to be suspicious.

“Hello Sirius!” Lily said offering him his plate as he sat down, “Sleep well?”

“How come you got him breakfast?” Peter asked pouting

“Like the dead. It’s October 1st you know” Sirius said, salting his eggs.

“Really, it’s like I don’t even exist” Peter interjected as he spooned some porridge onto his plate

“YES! 84 days until Christmas you know! And of course you exist Peter, I just never know what Marauders will actually be at breakfast besides Sirius ” Lily responded, passing Peter the bacon.

“OI! It’s the most important meal of the day and you do not want to see Sirius Black without his breakfast ” Sirius said as he snatched another piece of bacon from Peter’s plate.

Lily only laughed before handing each of them an envelope. She watched nervously as they each opened them. As they read over the invitation Lily began to explain herself.

“So since it is the beginning of the countdown to Christmas,” she started nervously, “I have activities planned for each evening for the next 84 days. I would invite James but I know he is mad in October and I tried to speak to him about it yesterday but he grunted something about October being sacred”

“It’s the month for the big prank….you’ll love it this year Lily- really….James is going to try and” Peter started but was interrupted by Sirius throwing the crust of his toast at him.

“Do something completely mental and probably fail and we will not divulge the secret to you Evans so don’t even try”

With a huff, Lily responded “I am aware of the great prank planning and execution. I am also aware of the quidditch obligations and how bored you lot get without your fearless leader so I decided to include you in my First Ever Annual 84 Day Advent Activity Calendar!”

Sirius and Peter exchanged a look before Lily continued to ramble

“Some of the activities are repeated both indoor and outdoor, of course. And naturally we have several evenings dedicated to Christmas Pageant rehearsal- then there are all the letters to Santa and I am hoping that maybe we can get two Christmas trees each time we are getting a tree so we have six trees instead of three but then we have to plant baby trees to replace the old ones and I don’t know how much time we will have to sneak out and get back. And before you even ask, Sirius, yes there will be food and drink and occasionally alcohol how the hell else do you think I got Marlene to agree. So please please join us? I know it is a lot but it’ll be good for us to bond as a group this year and I just think we could do with a little cheer?”

With a sigh and a nudge from Peter, Sirius begrudgingly agreed “Alright Evans, show me this list and I’ll let you know if we are in”

With a squeal, Lily rummaged in her bag and pulled out two feet of parchment on which was written an extensive list of 84 activities complete with illustrations and glitter:

Jingle Bell Hunt

Ornament Making

Christmas Charades

Christmas Pageant Auditions

Decorate Dumbledore’s office

Movie Night

Make Paper Snowflakes

Indoor Snowball fight

Build a Gingerbread house

Make Christmas Candy

Story Night

Make a bird feeder

Random acts of Kindness

Write letters to santa

Indoor Snow Angels (for two hours)

Movie Night

String popcorn

Hang tinsel in the hallways

Indoor Snowmen Making Contest

Gingerbread Hunt

Story Night

Serve a meal to the house elves

Donate old clothes to a charity

Make Christmas Candles

Christmas Pageant Rehearsal

Christmas Caroling

Movie Night

Christmas Caroling

Sledding

Ice Skating

Eat cookie dough

Christmas Pageant Rehearsal

Make Christmas Cards

Story Night

Paint Wooden Toys

Dress Up Like Elves

Knitting Party

Movie Night

Write Letters to Santa

Decorate room like north pole

Hang christmas lights outside

Make Hot Cocoa and Snuggle

Story Night

Make Christmas Sweaters

Ride a Santa Train

Find Deer and make them pull a sleigh

Ornament Making Round 2

Movie Night

Jingle Bell Hunt Round 2 Outside

Outdoor snowball fight

Outdoor Snow Angel Making (2 hours)

Write another letter to Santa

Story Night

Re enact “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer”

Christmas Pageant Rehearsal

CANDY CANE HUNT!

Lifesize Gingerbread Houses Outside

Christmas Caroling Round Two

GET OUR CHRISTMAS TREE

DECORATE OUR CHRISTMAS TREE

Pie making

Pre pre Christmas feast

Christmas Card Delivery

Christmas Pageant Rehearsal

Random Act of kindness Day

GET OUR SECOND CHRISTMAS TREE

DECORATE OUR SECOND CHRISTMAS TREE

VISIT SANTA

DRESS LIKE ELVES AND GO CAROLING

Christmas Pageant Rehearsal

GET OUR THIRD CHRISTMAS TREE

DECORATE OUR THIRD CHRISTMAS TREE

CHRISTMAS SWEATER CONTEST

Christmas Pageant Rehearsal

FINAL MOVIE NIGHT

Christmas Pageant Rehearsal

Cookie making and cookie dough eating

Winter Wonderland Building Contest

Nutcracker Race

Look at Christmas Lights

SET UP THE NATIVITY

Christmas Pageant Rehearsal

CHRISTMAS PAGEANT AND CHRISTMAS DAY

While they were considering the list, Sirius and Peter both reflected on the Marauder Code:

Nothing on the list was a threat to their masculinity (Marauder Code Section 1 Part D)

Every event had the opportunity for mischief (Marauder Code Section 1 Part A)

And provided ample opportunity to Prove to Lily Evans that James Potter was not a bullying toerag and an upstanding bloke (Marauder Code Section 4 Part A)

“Alright Evans, we agree to your mad list and will attend every event that we can” Sirius proclaimed crossing his hand over his heart, Peter followed suit. Lily squealed again and hugged him- and then Peter.

Despite their initial reservations, most of the sixth year Gryffindors were enjoying the 84 Day Advent Activity Calendar.

Granted, it was only day 6 and they were enjoying Miracle on 34th Street in the room of requirement and drinking butter beer and Lily hadn’t nagged anyone about responsibility or homework all year. Because of this and despite the fact Christmas was ages away, all of the 6th year Gryffindors (except for James Potter who was last spotted dragging a tutu and several pairs of tap shoes toward the Great Lake) were feeling festive.

In fact, in the courtroom scene when all the mail was brought in Sirius Black cried real tears and had to admit to Remus that this was “actually not a shit movie” and that “they could watch Die Hard next time”.

The festive mood carried the Marauders to their dorms and they had forgotten it was October until they were hit with the undeniable smell of wet lake clothes and greeted by a bruised and soaking James who was meticulously pulling chunks of slime from his hair.

“I’ll get there mates!” James was saying in a peppy mood “Come Halloween you’ll regret telling me this was a bad idea and wish you’d helped”

After a quick muttering a quick “scourgify” with his wand pointed at James’ head Remus told him, “No, you’ll be glad we made a plan B”

Once James had left the room to take a shower Peter asked “What Plan B?” through bites of his leftover Christmas cookies (Lily had surprised them on day 2)

“We’ll come up with something” Remus responded, vanishing the remaining slime from the floor.

The following weeks passed in much the same way. Lily forcing them to do mad Christmas activities, James vanishing toward the Great Lake muttering, and an overall pulsing of excitement about the general holiday season.

Occasionally Peter would ask “But what about plan B? But this was usually after a fantastic item being checked of the 84 Day Advent Activity Calendar and Sirius and Remus would brush him off with something like

“You worry too much” Sirius told him as he pummeled Lily with 12 paper snowballs on day 8 or,

“We’ve got loads of time”- Remus as he added another bunch of tinsel to the hallway outside of charms on day 18.

On day 20, Sirius was surprised to find Lily Evans and James Potter in deep discussion as he entered the great hall for lunch. As he approached the table he heard James say “right- charms- brilliant. Later, Evans” and without so much as a flirty smile or an acknowledgement to his best mate, James Potter ran from the great hall leaving behind an entirely full and decent meal.

As he sat behind said plate and pulled up another Sirius asked “Did Prongs have some sort of prank epiphany?”

With a huff Lily told him, “I have no idea what your daft mate is up to. He was muttering about animal training and I told him ‘Well you know they say you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make them drink- but if you’re clever enough you can charm them’. Then he started asking me about all sorts of charms for animal training and did I know if Flitwick knew anything about training aquatic animals. Then I was asking if he meant aquatic mammals and he told me there were no aquatic animals and you know how I feel about dolphins Sirius so I had to explain to him that they are not fish and that I don’t know if you could train something like a squid and that he should talk to Hagrid and not Flitwick. Then he stood up- thanked me about charms and left”

Blinking at her owlishly, Sirius asked “How do you breathe when you talk so fast?”

Whacking him with the Advent List, Lily told him “Shut Up Prat. I’m off to set up our gingerbread hunt! We’ll be in teams- and they are riddles so you might want to reconsider Peter.”

“OI!” Sirius started

“Peter brings a lot to the group dynamic- you tell me that all the time- some days I even think you believe it” Lily finished and swooped out of the Great Hall.

Day 21 of the 84 Day Advent Activity Calendar had been Sirius’ favorite night. He, Remus and Lily acted out the entire Christmas Carol with assistance from the house elves and any time a ghost appeared they would play a round of truth or dare. By the end of the re enactment, Sirius was so invested in his final line of“God Bless Us Everyone” he didn’t even notice his best mate dragging himself up the steps to their dormitory covered in seaweed. Later, he noticed an odd smell in the dormitory but was so invested in preparing for Day 22, Feeding the House Elves a Meal, he forgot to ask what it was.

On Day 24, Sirius was seriously invested in making the 84 Day Advent Activity Calendar an annual event. For all of her absolute madness, Lily Evans was a lot of fun. He also felt he had felt he and Peter has made significant progress on Section 4 Part A of the Marauder Code if the daily lunchtime conversations he interrupted between James and Lily were any indication. He had even begun plans to lock Lily and James in a closet on Day 42 , make Hot Chocolate and Snuggle, when tragedy struck.

Day 24, Make Christmas Candles, ended the 84 Day Advent Activity Calendar tragically and, in the opinion of one Sirius Black and one Lily Evans, much much too soon.

It all had to do with “Plan B”. While Remus and Sirius were quick to dismiss the need for such a plan. Whether it was truly from “ABSOLUTE FAITH AND TRUST IN OUR LEADER PRONGS” (Sirius) or “I HAVE SO MUCH HOMEWORK FROM THE FULL MOON YOU WORRY TO MUCH” (Remus)- they had somehow lost sight of the importance of the Halloween prank. So, naturally, Peter Pettigrew took it upon himself to create his own Plan B.

The fact that Plan B involved storing a multitude of fireworks in the very abandoned classroom that Day 24’s activities were being held was an unfortunate coincidence. Making the candles had gone splendidly. They had made enough candles to gift to all their professors and had taken a few extras to make s'mores.

Peter, who was in the middle of a story about his favorite Christmas present, panicked when his marshmallow caught fire and tried to shake it off the stick when it went flying. Right into the pile of fireworks.

As chaos descended, nearly all of the Gryffindors began to stampede out- knocking over the candles which naturally landed on any and every flammable surface and causing an inferno. While they were running Lily called out “Did you all forget you are wizards? Use your wands” but only Sirius heard her and stayed behind to try and fix the problem before they were caught.

Miraculously they had managed to put out all of the flames and somehow vanish the fireworks before Filch arrived with McGonagall on his heels.

Filch entered first bellowing, “I TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE ONE OF THEM- It’ll be expulsion for sure this time Black”

Before either of them could speak McGonagall interrupted,“What is the meaning of this? Really I’ve come to expect this sort of thing out of you Sirius but Ms. Evans I don’t understand why you of all people are here unless you caught this miscreant in the act”

Sirius began to think up no less than 126 excuses and was ready to spout them all off when Lily interrupted, “It’s my fault Professor. I was trying to make some Christmas Candles for my 84 Day Advent Activity Calendar and when I lit them- I guess I got the wick or something wrong- they exploded. And Sirius just happened to hear the explosion and come running. It’s my fault”

Turning to Sirius with a sharp look she asked “Is this true Mr. Black?”

Not missing a beat Sirius said “Yes ma’am and might I just say you are looking lovely tonight and Evans really shouldn’t get detention for this- it is her first offense you know”

“Maybe so” McGonagall started, “Nevertheless Ms. Evans, while I appreciate your enthusiasm… there are still two months until Christmas Eve and I think we will be all be better off if we see no more Christmas cheer from you until December. If I spy any more Advent activities before then I will make you serve detention. To be safe I’ll be taking 24 points from Gryffindor and will request you put this room back to its original condition”

Before she could complain, Sirius poked Lily in the side which prompted her to say “Yes Professor, Sorry Professor”.

This seemed to satisfy their head of house who snapped her fingers and Filch who skulked out of the room after her.

Turning to Lily with a large smile Sirius said, “No too bad Evans! Only 24 points. Bit sad we still have 60 activities on the list but we can do 31 of those in December and then….” he trailed off as Lily began to cry in earnest.

“I…..I….worked so so hard to plan all of those Sirius. We were…… ss-s-upposed to go c-c-caroling t-t-tomorrow! I had it all worked out with Hagrid and everything and……and…..now…..” she wailed, throwing her arms around his neck.

“There, there Evans. We’ll find some way to go caroling tomorrow. And Minnie will never know”

The next day, October 25 dawned early for Sirius Black. He took the map, cloak and headed out towards Hogsmeade.

“Where are you going?” Remus asked as he rolled over.

“I’ve got to have a ‘Chat with Evans’ today. It’s time we ended this Advent madness”. The lie seemed to appease Remus who said “Bout bloody time” as he settled back into his pillows.

As he descended the steps, Sirius saw James rushing off ahead of him and called out “Prongs! Its Saturday what are you doing?!”

“Squids are most docile at sunrise- Padfoot! See you soon!” James responded as he vanished from view.

The day passed quickly. Preparing for the “Chat” or really “Getting drunk and Caroling to Hagrid’s animals and then crying over the end of The 84 Day Advent Activity Calendar” proved more difficult than Sirius thought. He wasn’t sure why he cared about making the shrieking shack look like a winter wonderland for Lily but he supposed somehow she had Christmas Cheered her way into his heart and he was only trying to help James out since he was distracted by his mad plan for a prank.

At dinner- Sirius stormed into the great hall, demanded “EVANS WE NEED TO CHAT” and dragged her from the hall, trying hard not to laugh at her fake and frankly pathetic complaints.

As they walked up the path to the shack he told her “Nice Jumper”

“Thanks” Lily said a little wistfully, “It’s my two months till Christmas jumper which was McGonagall approved this morning as not a violation of my detention contract after I cleared that room this morning”

“Well file tonight under ‘NEVER TELL A PROFESSOR’ so you keep to that contract”

When they entered the shack, Lily cheered.

“Four Christmas trees…..and it looks just like the North Pole….and…is that….”

“Firewhiskey? Yes Evans, we are going to get piss drunk. Cry about the end of the 84 Day Advent Activity Calendar and then go sing badly to all of Hagrid’s animals”

Hours later, Remus found his boyfriend and fellow prefect skipping around the astronomy tower singing

God rest ye merry, hippogriffs, Let nothing you dismay, For Lily and Sirius Will feed you Christmas Day, And save you all from Slytherins Who all are dirty gits O tidings of comfort and joy, Comfort and joy, Oh tidings of comfort and joy.

“OI! YOU TWO” he said, rolling his eyes as they collapsed into giggles onto the floor “It’s past curfew and Sirius your best mate is in the hospital wing”

“No, my best mate is singing Christmas Carols with me on October 25” Sirius managed between fits of laughter.

“It’s actually now the 26th and past curfew. I’ll get you both back to the dorm” Remus said and grabbed each one by the elbow.

“Where’s Pete- crying at Potter’s beside?” Lily asked, and found this to be hilarious.

After many more jokes (none of which were funny to Remus at all). And many more badly rewritten Christmas Carols, Remus somehow got them back to Gryffindor tower.

“Right, well….Marlene said that if you interrupted her beauty sleep tonight Lily she would have your head- since James is in the hospital wing you can have his bed”.

“BUT REEEEEMMMMMMMUUSSSS” Lily whined “He smells like the great lake. What is he on about anyway? Is he”

“Shit” Sirius interrupted suddenly sober “We need a Plan B Remus. If Prongs is out for the count we need a new prank and we have less than a week”

“Is James-” Lily tried again

“I KNOW!” Remus exploded “But Pete’s Plan B literally crashed and burned and we��ve been so invested by the Christmas activities we forgot to make one”

“Wait I think I can” Lily started

“SHIT SHIT SHIT. Prongs is going to be so sad. When will he be better did they say?”

“At least a week. Pete is panicking and she gave him a calming potion but-”

“OI!” Lily yelled as they got to the top of the stairs

The boys stopped bickering.

“I have a question and it’s important. I’ve been trying to s…solve the mystery”

“O…..k” Remus said raising an eyebrow at Sirius

“Is James….is he….trying to train the Giant Squid to tap dance on Halloween”

Both Mauraders burst out into the same fake laugh

“Of course not”

“That’s ridiculous”

“Whatever would make you think that Evans”

She ignored this and plowed on “Because if he is- the solution is pretty obvious…I mean wouldn’t you just stun it and then charm the tap shoes to dance so it’s the illusion he is dancing. Is the squid a he? I’ve always wondered?”

Stunned to silence Sirius stared at Lily Evans, who was apparently a brilliant prankstress when she was drunk.

“How did you figure this out Lily?” Remus asked- puzzled.

“I’m not a completely clueless idiot. He’s been rambling about animal training and asking me all sorts of questions about my childhood tap lessons and is at the lake every bloody day at breakfast and everyone knows that is when squids are most docile”

Before Remus could interrupt Sirius pinched him and muttered “Shuttup she’s got that gleam and I think she is about to say something else brilliant”

“And really- it would be quite a good prank. Especially if you transfigured the Squid into a pumpkin or something and then had it charmed to transfigure back when the phrase ‘Tuck In’ was said. Then you could have all the ghosts come in and play their God awful Halloween ballad they always want to play. I bet the house elves would help you.”

With a look and a nod Sirius said “Help us, Evans. Help Us.”

“Alright,” Lily said, “But James can NEVER know I helped. This is only because of the Christmas ban”

The next week passed by in a blur and even Lily had to admit prank planning and execution was almost as fun as the 84 Day Advent Activity Calendar.

After much begging and pleading, Peter had somehow convinced the nurse that James should be released from the hospital wing from the feast. Peter was dejected when he told James “We didn’t have a plan B”

and they both trudged down to the feast. James had never been so depressed on Halloween and had never felt sorrier for himself.

Even the fact that Lily Evans was sitting next to him and smiling at him couldn’t raise his spirits. Halloween was ruined. The squid was stupid. His mates were stupid. He was done with the whole stupid month of October when Dumbledore announced “Tuck In” and the largest pumpkin on the head table exploded and in its place-

stood STOOD the fucking animal that had given him nightmares, an embarrassing rash and no less than 6 broken ribs.

The squid stood and James nearly wept when the ghosts burst in playing their horrid Halloween waltz and the squid began to tap dance down the center of the great hall. As all the students cheered James looked over to his friends who simply winked and began to play off their typical

“It wasn’t us” routine.

Each line was superb and James was surprised that Lily had no negative comments. In fact as the Mauraders escorted James back to the hospital wing and Lily followed them.

They chatted for a bit and relived the finer moments of the dance with quiet glee. James couldn’t believe that Lily Evans was there with them. It was getting late and Lily had to leave for rounds but before she left she leaned down, kissed him on the cheek and told him “it was a brilliant prank James, really”.

As she passed by Sirius she gave him a wink and touched her nose in a very Santa Clause fashion and Sirius began to guffaw with laughter.

James missed all of this however, he was too busy holding his cheek and smiling. “Did you see that! Lily Evans kisses me on the cheek! It’s a Halloween miracle”

“No mate,” Sirius said, “That’s a Christmas Miracle. Tis the Season after all.”

#look ma I did read more all by myself old person uses tumblr jiltober bonus christmasfroever no discernible reason #robots writes #jily fanfiction #jily fic #jily

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patheticphallacy · 5 years ago

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Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly feature created by That Artsy Reader Girl (originally The Broke and the Bookish). For information on how to participate and the topics of each week, click the link!

Allo!

Last month I did a post on ‘Twenty Books That Made Me‘ that is very similar to this post; however, I’ll be talking more about actual children’s books that I loved and started me off with an interest in reading in this post!

To clarify, I was born in 1999, so a lot of these are pretty much staples in the life of a British child in the noughties. Most of what I read in this period of time was at school, as my parents never really read with me or influenced my reading until later on in my reading life.

The Jolly Postman by Janet and Allan Ahlberg

This is a staple in any British child’s reading, especially during the noughties. It was fully interactive with envelopes and letters, and I just remember loving reading this so much I wanted to buy myself a copy when I was about 8 but my mum refused to let me get one from the Scholastic Book Fair. A real tragedy.

Owl Babies by Martin Waddell

It was either this one or We’re Going on a Bear Hunt (that inspired a nightmare I had continually as a child). Ultimately, Owl Babies wins out because it’s this children’s book that started a long-term love I still have for owls. I find them fascinating! Owl was also my favourite in Winnie the Pooh for a while, although I grew up watching Winnie the Pooh, not reading it.

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

ICONIQUE. I have a very distinct memory of just sitting down and looking at the artwork in this collection as a kid; it’s when I could read, I was just fascinated by the art. I’m one of the rare few who really loves the film, too, my dad took me and my younger sister and even though they both hated it, I loved everything about it! I was into super violent stuff even as a kid, and I was so terrified by violence in a kid’s movie that I fell in love with it. That sounds strange- I swear I was a normal child, I just had very strange tastes.

Funnybones by Janet and Allan Ahlberg

Obviously these authors are a staple of my childhood. Funnybones is one that helped me a lot with speech growing up, I had difficulties pronouncing certain words especially when they would come one after the other (yellow became lellow for years, it drove my parents mad). I used to read this all the time in after school club, which I used to go to instead of going Science club and always got in trouble for skipping out on science.

In a dark, dark town there was a dark, dark street………

Horrible Histories by Terry Deary

There is a very specific omnibus Horrible Histories book that has massive spreads from loads of the major events in history, but I can’t for the life of me remember what it’s called, so I’m just including the series. My personal favourite spreads were from the making of the pyramids and the black plague, which honestly makes so much sense with my personality.

One Day at Horrorland by R.L. Stine

Yes, we’re on to chapter books now!

Horrorland is the most distinct of the Goosebumps books in my mind, and is probably the root cause of my fear of amusement parks along with the film The Lost Boys. Other than this one, Say Cheese and Die and Deep Trouble stand out the most in my head. Even though I can’t remember plot specifics, I still really loved them, and are the reason I loved the Grizzly Tales animated show.

Revolting Rhymes by Roald Dahl

Look. I can distinctly remember going to the library in year 3, and every single time, I would immediately root out this to not only practice my speech, but to find the swearing in one of the specific pages to show other people in my class. It got so bad they hid the book in the upstairs non-fiction section my year group were banned from.

The funniest part about that story is, four years later, my sister did the exact same thing in her year 3 class. We were the experts in finding age-inappropriate content to pollute the minds of other children.

Five on a Treasure Island by Enid Blyton

This was the first book my mum ever suggested I read! She was more of a Malory Towers/Secret Seven girl, but I was a big big fan of these kinds of adventures because of Scooby Doo (thanks for that obsession, dad), so I went with these. At one point I owned probably fifteen books in this series, but I ended up donating all of them to charity when we did my room up.

Even though I wouldn’t buy her books now- she’s very problematic as an author, something little me never would have known- I’m tempted to find a copy of this book to do a re-read.

The Diamond Girls/Girls in Love by Jacqueline Wilson

Absolute formative books. The Diamond Girls had some of the most jaw dropping moments in my young reading life, I cannot express how much I loved this book. It’s why I focus so much on siblings in the stories I write now. All my chubby girls who finally found themselves in a character reading the Girls in Love series HMU, that series had me up at 2am crying more than once!

These two weren’t the first Jacqueline Wilson books I read, though. That goes to Vicky Angel! I also loved Cookie (another chubby main character), Love Lessons/Kiss (her more grown up books), and Clean Break. I always loved the cover for Midnight,��though, because I was a little emo kid and was fascinated by how dark it was.

Demon Thief by Darren Shan

Speaking of dark books/books about siblings…

This is the final book I’m including because I feel like it’s the last ‘childhood’ favourite in my life. I actually finished the final book, Hell’s Heroes, in three hours on my final day of primary school. I specifically talk about Demon Thief being my favourite because it’s the first I read of the series, and Kernel is also my absolute favourite character. He’s probably the most sympathetic for me, and he goes through some shit. Literally every character in this series has a terrible time, though, and it’s depressing as hell, but I love it so so much. I’m well due a re-read of the series.

And that’s my list! What books would you include? Any similar to me? Would love to know!

Thank you for reading!

If you liked this post, consider buying me a coffee? Ko-Fi.

I also currently have a GoFundMe set up to help fund my third year of University, so any stray pound helps ❤

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Top Ten Tuesday: Childhood Favourites! Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly feature created by That Artsy Reader Girl (originally The Broke and the Bookish).

#childhood favourites #children&039;s books #kid&039;s books #middle grade #picture books #top ten tuesday

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hypotheticallyhaunted · 8 years ago

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Tag 11

I know I’ve already done this but some lovely people tagged me in it again and I want to do it with different set of question ;) ;) I will not tag anyone again :)

Tagged by the lovely @the-sassy-bookworm

1. If you could be a plant, what plant would it be?

Probably a bonsai tree ( it looks like plant).

2. Are you a cat or a dog person?

Dog person, ‘cause I’ve never had a cat but I like cats too.

3. What is your favourite month and why?

October - It’s my birth month, my favorite festival falls in that month and the weather is just amazing in October.

4.If you had a time machine what would you use it for?

I’d definitely go and save the Library of Alexandria and the Nalanda Library from burning down.

5. What are your top 5 songs?

As of now my top 5 songs are

Shape of You- Ed Sheeran

Gin Soaked Boy - The Divine Comedy

Pompeii - Bastille

Angel with a Shotgun - The Cab

Someone New - Hozier

6. What are your top 10 books?

That’s a tough one -

1. Harry Potter

2. Percy Jackson Universe

3. Shadowhunter Chronicles

4. The Meluha Trilogy

5. Maximum Ride books

6. Tuesdays with Morrie

7. All of Ravinder Singh’s books

8. Me before you

9. The Kite Runner

10. The Promise - Nikita Singh

7. Do you want kids?

Maybe yeah :)

8. If a movie was made about your life what would the title be?

The Hatke Indian Girl. (Hatke means a bit different, a bit unique in Hindi).

9. If you were invisible what would you do?

Spend time in Libraries and bookshops and Comic-cons and travel the world freely.

10. Favorite way to spend a weekend?

Wake up late, have some brunch, and read a book or paint or spend the day watching videos on Youtube and Tumblr.

11. Favorite fictional character?

At the moment definitely Max from Maximum Ride.

Tagged by the amazing @raffit123

1. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

Maybe London :)

2. What is your favorite season?

I love winters, spend the whole day snuggling in the covers with a good book and hot chocolate and brownies.

3. What traits do you appreciate the most from your favourite character?

Ability to be human, make mistakes and accept them, take charge and lead and be sassy af :)

4. If you could change one thing about the world, what would you change?

Better people with different views but not disrespecting each other and belittling other.

5. What is your favourite colour?

I love shades of Blue, Black and Silver.

6. If you could meet any person in the world, who would you choose to meet?

I really want to meet @sassyshoulderangel319 and give her a huge hug.. And then probably Dan and Phil or Thomas Sanders.

7. If you could have any super power, what would it be ?

Power of flight would be nice, ‘cause I kind of wanna get over my fear of heights :)

8. What would you do with 10million dollars?

Donate 3/4 of them to charity and then build a library-cum-bookshop-cum home for me to live in :) :)

9. What was your childhood TV show?

I really loved a show about a Detective and his pet monkey. It was called Raja and Rancho.

10. What is something that makes you happy? :)

Making and seeing people happy by something I said or did :) :)

11. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what food would it be?

My Mom’s handmade Gajar-ka-Halwa. ( A kind of carrot cake). It’s absolutely delicious and I look forward to winter when I get to eat it. That or maybe Gol-Gappas :D :D

Tagged by the sweet and pure @sonador-reveur

1. You’re about to die but you have enough time to call one person and tell them anything you’d like to say. Who is it and what do you say?

I’d call my brother and tell him how much I love him and how much of a nuisance he is in my life. :P :P :P

2. You’re about to become a parent of twins. Who do you prefer: two girls, two boys or a girl and a boy? What would you name them?

A Boy and a girl. Their names as gonna be Misha and Sparsh :)

3. You can have any one person by your side till you’re on this earth. Who is it?

My brother. He’s witty and a goddamn genius and being a certified asshole is a big plus in tricky situations :P :P

4. You go to the cake shop to buy a cake for your kid’s birthday and you the money you have isn’t sufficient to buy any cake. Also, you’re getting late for the party and it’s a shop you’ve never been to before and all other cake shops are too far. How would you persuade the baker to let you buy that cake at a very cheap price?

Maybe give him my phone number or something so that I can pay the rest of the money or idk I am not good at bargaining :)

5. You can wear just one kind of outfit all your life. What would it be?

A dungaree and a comfy shirt :)

6. You can either have one best friend or many good friends? Who would you want?

One crazy best friend is enough for me ! ! :) :)

7. You can go back in time, live a month as the person of any age you’ve already been. Which age would you choose and why?

This is tough ! ! I really can’t think of anyone right now ! !

8. You’re getting late for something really really urgent and if you get late you might loose everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve and while you’re on your way you find a drowning dog. Would you save the dog?

Hell yaa ! ! I love animals and if I achieved something once maybe I can achieve it again but that dog may or may not get a second chance.

9. You’re getting late for something really really urgent and if you get late you might loose everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve and while you’re on your way you find a drowning ant. Would you save the ant?

Maybe, this might make me seem like a bad person but I really don’t know if I’d save a ant or not.

10. You can make any 5 people happy and healthy for the rest of their lives including you. Who are they?

This is really tough and I am not answering that, I can’t choose five people ! ! !

11. How would you like to be remembered after you die?

She tried to make a difference and changed some lives for good. She was full of life and her words made up for her short height ( hahaha ) :D :D

Tagged by the wonderful @dem-gabriel-tho

1. What is you’re zodiac sign?

Scorpio :)

2. Do you believe in fate?

Sometimes I do, sometimes I deny it’s existence.

3. If you could change anything in history (anything at all) what would you change? FYI it would have no effect on the current world.

Already answered :)

4. If you could change anything in your life what would you change?

My height, just a few inches more would be good :P :P

5. If you could reread a book (or series) and it would be just like the first time you read it what book would you read?

Harry Potter or Percy Jackson or The Shadowhunter Chronicles. ( sorry couldn’t choose one :P)

6. Night or day?

Night - My nickname is Nishachar aka creature of the night ! ! :D

7. Do you like tea?

No, I don’t drink tea.

8. Do you have a good relationship with your family?

Yeah I love my family no matter how crazy we are :) :)

9. Favorite time of year?

Like I said above October :)

10. Favorite animal?

Why do you want me to choose? There are soo many amazing animals I like !!

11. Who would you like to meet? Fictional or not?

Already Answered :)

Whew that was a lot of questions ! ! ! Thanks or tagging me guys :) :) Hope I did good :)

#Tagging games #Tagged #Tag 11 #That's like 44 questions and all amazing #Thanks to whoever tagged me

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emma-what-son · 8 years ago

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Emma Watson's charity work vs others' charity work

Please anon!

Emma Watson, although her PR constantly tries to make it seem that way, doesn’t watch all the other stars party, ‘wear miniskirts’ and drink while she’s doing good. People have the idea, because of the marketing and constant advertising of herself to support that idea, that Emma Watson is the only person among fame hungry celebrities who does good.

Jennifer Lawrence

1. Jennifer Lawrence frequents visits with patients at a children’s hospital near her hometown in Louisville, Kentucky. She has lent her support to several charitable organizations, such as the 2. World Food Programme 3. Feeding America, 4. The thirst Project. 5. Along with Josh Hutcherson and Liam Hemsworth, her co-stars of The Hunger Games (2012), Lawrence partnered with the United Nations to publicize poverty and hunger. 6. She organized an early screening of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013) to benefit Saint Mary’s Center, a disabilities organization in Louisville, and raised more than $40,000 for the cause. 7. She partnered with the charity broadcast network Chideo to raise funds for the 2015 Special Olympics World Summer Games by screening her film Serena (2014). 8. She also collaborated with Omaze to host a fundraising contest for the games as part of the premiere of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 1 (2014). 9. In 2015, she teamed with Hutcherson and Hemsworth for Prank It FWD, a charitable initiative to raise money for the non-profit organization Do Something. 10. That year, she also launched the Jennifer Lawrence Foundation, which supports charities such as the Boys & Girls Clubs of America and the Special Olympics. 11. In 2016, she donated $2 million to the Kosair Children’s Hospital in Louisville to set up a cardiac intensive care unit named after her foundation.

Demi Lovato

1. In May 2009, Lovato was named an Honorary Ambassador of Education by the American Partnership For Eosinophilic Disorders. 2. As part of her involvement with Disney’s Friends for Change, Lovato, the Jonas Brothers, Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez recorded the initiative’s theme song (“Send It On”) in 2009. The song debuted on the Billboard Hot 100 at number 20, and its proceeds were directed to environmental charities through the Disney Worldwide Conservation Fund. Lovato and Joe Jonas recorded another song, “Make a Wave”, for the charity in March 2010. 3. She is also spokesperson for the Join the Surge Campaign!, DoSomething.Org and Joining the Surge by Clean & Clear; the latter is a national campaign encouraging teenagers to take action in their communities. 4. Lovato was featured in a January 2010 public-service announcement for Voto Latino to promote the organization’s “Be Counted” campaign preparing for the 2010 United States Census. 5. In October 2010 she was the spokeswoman for the anti-bullying organization, PACER. 6. Lovato participated in the “A Day Made Better” school advocacy campaign 7. she has supported DonateMyDress.org, Kids Wish Network, Love Our Children USA, 8. St Jude Children’s Research Hospital 9.City of Hope. 10. Lovato was named the ambassador of Mean Stinks, a campaign focused on eliminating bullying by girls. 11. In May 2013 she was cited for her dedication as a mentor to teens and young adults with mental-health problems at a National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day hosted by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration in Washington. 12. In late June 2013 Lovato announced the creation of the Lovato Treatment Scholarship Program, named for her late father, to pay treatment costs for mentally-ill patients. 13. In August 2013, she traveled to Kenya for her 21st birthday to participate in a program of the international charity organization Free the Children. 14. In May 2014, Lovato was named the LA Pride Parade Grand Marshal and the lead performer for NYC Pride Week for her contribution to the LGBT community. 15. Lovato has also become the face of Human Rights Campaign’s America’s for Marriage Equality. For the announcement of the campaign, Lovato stated “Whether you’re LGBT or straight, your love is valid, beautiful and an incredible love. So let’s protect love and strengthen the institution of marriage by allowing loving, caring and committed same-sex couples to legally marry. Please join me and the majority of American citizens who support marriage equality.” 16. On April 2, 2016, Lovato received the GLAAD Vanguard Award for making a significant difference in promoting equal rights for the LGBT community at the 27th GLAAD Media Awards ceremony. 17. In June 2016, Lovato was among the artists that signed an open letter to stop gun violence, created by Billboard. 18. That month, the Human Rights Campaign also released a video in tribute to the victims of the 2016 Orlando gay nightclub shooting; in the video, Lovato and others told the stories of the people killed there. 19. In January 2017, Lovato traveled to Kenya to participate in working with We Movement to do work with women and children.

Taylor Swift

1. In 2008, she donated $100,000 to the Red Cross to help the victims of the Iowa flood of 2008. 2. The singer has performed in charity reliefs like Sydney's Sound Relief concert.3 3. She also recorded a song for the Hope for Haiti Now album. 4.In response to the May 2010 Tennessee floods, Swift donated $500,000 during a telethon hosted by WSMV. 5. In 2011, Swift used a dress rehearsal of her Speak Now tour as a benefit concert for victims of recent tornadoes in the United States, raising more than $750,000. 6. In 2012, Swift supported Architecture for Humanity’s Restore the Shore MTV telethon in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy. 7.in 2016, she made donations to the Louisiana flood relief and Dolly Parton Fire Fund. 8. Swift is a supporter of the arts and donated $75,000 to Nashville’s Hendersonville High School in 2010 to help refurbish the school auditorium. 9.in 2012, she pledged $4 million to fund the building of a new education center at the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum in Nashville. 10. Also in 2012, Swift partnered with textbook rental company Chegg to donate $60,000 to the music departments of six US colleges. 11. Swift also promotes children’s literacy. In 2009, she donated $250,000 to various schools around the country for improvement of education. 12. Her other endeavors to promote literacy include donating 6,000 Scholastic books to Reading Public Library, Pennsylvania;13. 14,000 books to Nashville Public Library, Tennessee; 2,000 Scholastic books to the Reading Hospital Child Health Center’s early literacy program; and 25,000 books to New York City schools in 2015. 13. In 2007, she launched a campaign to protect children from online predators, in partnership with the Tennessee Association of Chiefs of Police. 14. In 2009, Swift recorded a Sound Matters public service announcement (PSA) to make listeners aware of the importance of listening “responsibly” to prevent hearing impairment. 15. Swift has donated items for auction to several charities, including: the Elton John AIDS Foundation, the UNICEF Tap Project, MusiCares, and Feeding America.16. As a recipient of the Academy of Country Music’s Entertainer of the Year in 2011, Swift donated $25,000 to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, Tennessee.17. In 2012, Swift participated in the Stand Up to Cancer telethon, performing “Ronan”, a song she wrote in memory of a four-year-old boy who died of neuroblastoma. The song was made available for digital download with all proceeds donated to cancer-related charities. 18. In 2014, she donated $100,000 to the V Foundation for Cancer Research 19. and $50,000 to Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. 20. The singer made private visits to hospitals to meet with sick patients and to support them. 21. Swift has encouraged young people to volunteer in their local communities as part of Global Youth Service Day. 22. During the 2008 presidential campaign, Swift promoted the Every Woman Counts campaign, aimed at engaging women in the political process, and was one of many country stars to record a PSA for the Vote (For Your) Country campaign.

Selena Gomez

1. Gomez was involved in the UR Votes Count campaign which encouraged teenagers to learn more about 2008 presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain. 2. In October 2008, Gomez participated in St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital "Runway For Life" benefit. 3. That same month, Gomez was named UNICEF’s spokesperson for the Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF campaign, which encouraged children to raise money on Halloween to help children around the world.She said that she was “extremely excited” to “encourage other kids to make a difference in the world.” 4. In August 2009, a 17-year-old Gomez became the youngest UNICEF ambassador ever, passing fellow songstress Hayley Westenra, who was 18 when she was chosen. In her first official field mission, Gomez traveled to Ghana on September 4, 2009 for a week to witness first-hand the stark conditions of vulnerable children that lack vital necessities including clean water, nourishment, education and healthcare.Gomez explained, during an interview with Associated Press correspondents, that she wanted to use her star power to bring awareness to Ghana: “That’s why I feel very honored to have a voice that kids listen to and take into consideration […] I had people on my tour asking me where IS Ghana, and they Googled it […] and because I went there, they now know where Ghana is. So it’s pretty incredible." Gomez said, of her role as ambassador, that "Every day 25,000 children die from preventable causes. I stand with UNICEF in the belief that we can change that number from 25,000 to zero. I know we can achieve this because every moment, UNICEF is on the ground providing children with the lifesaving assistance needed to ensure zero becomes a reality.” 5. Selena became the ambassador of DoSomething.org after being involved with the charity Island Dog, which helped dogs in Puerto Rico. 6. Gomez is also involved with the charity RAISE Hope For Congo, an initiative of the Enough Project, which helps raise awareness about conflict minerals and violence against Congolese women. 7. Gomez was named spokesperson for UNICEF’s 2009 Trick-or-Treat campaign, for the second year in a row. 8.Gomez, who raised over $700,000 for the charity in 2008 9. Gomez participated in a celebrity auction and hosted a live web cast series on Facebook in support of the Trick-or-Treat for UNICEF campaign. 10. From 2009 to 2012, Gomez was involved in “Disney’s Friends for Change”, an organization which promoted “environmentally-friendly behavior”, and she appeared in its public service announcements. 11. Gomez, Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus, and the Jonas Brothers, as the ad hoc musical team “Disney’s Friends For Change”, recorded the charity single “Send It On”, all of whose proceeds were accepted into the Disney Worldwide Conservation Fund. It debuted on the Billboard Hot 100 at No. 20. 12. In celebration of the organization’s 60th anniversary, Gomez and her team, The Scene, held a benefit concert donating all proceeds to the campaign. 13. In February 2011, Gomez traveled to Chile to witness and meet with the families of UNICEF’s supported program, “Programa Puente”, which helped families better understand, and developed skills to deal effectively with, early childhood education, development, and other issues related to raising children. From her field trip experience, Gomez said, “UNICEF is helping Chilean families get out of poverty, prevent violence within the home and promote education. To witness first hand these families’ struggles, and also their hope and perseverance, was truly inspiring.” 14. In March 2011, Gomez participated in the UNICEF Tap Project’s “Celebrity Tap Pack” limited-edition, custom-made water bottles which featured tap water from the homes of each celebrity advocate, in order to raise funds and increase profile for the clean water and sanitation programs. 15. She was also featured in videos that promoted the campaign. 16. In April 2012, Gomez was named ambassador to the Ryan Seacrest Foundation. 17. She was also a spokesperson for State Farm Insurance and appeared in numerous television commercials, which aired on the Disney Channel, to raise awareness of being a safe driver.

I’m adding Miley Cyrus and, basically, shes compared with Emma a lot. “Look at Emma’s feminism and good deeds, while Miley Cyrus wears skimpy clothes for attention”

Miley Cyrus

1. Throughout her career, Cyrus has participated in several charity singles such as Just Stand Up!, Send It On, Everybody Hurts and We Are the World 25 for Haiti. 2. Cyrus has visited several sick fans in hospitals throughout the years. 3. Cyrus is an avid supporter of City of Hope, having attended benefit concerts in 2008, 2009 and 2012. 4. In 2008 and 2009, during her “Best of Both Worlds Tour” and “Wonder World Tour”, for every concert ticket sold, she donated one dollar to the organization. 5. Cyrus celebrated her 16th birthday at Disneyland by delivering a $1 million donation from Disney to Youth Service America. 6. In July 2009, Cyrus performed at the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation’s 20th annual “A Time for Heroes” Celebrity Picnic and donated several items including autographed merchandise and a script from Hannah Montana for the Ronald McDonald House Auction. Cyrus supports charities such as 7. the Elton John AIDS Foundation 8. Entertainment Industry Foundation 9. Habitat for Humanity 10. United Service Organizations 11. Youth Service America 12. Music for Relief. 13. In February 2010, she donated several items including the dress she wore to the 52nd Annual Grammy Awards and two tickets to the Hollywood premiere of her movie The Last Song to raise money for the victims of the 2010 Haiti earthquake. 14. In January 2011, Cyrus met an ailing fan with Spina bifida with the charity Kids Wish Network. 15. In April 2011, she appeared in a commercial for “Red Cross” asking people to pledge $10 to help those affected by the 2011 Japan earthquake and tsunami. In the same year Hilary Duff presented Cyrus with the first ever Global Action Youth Leadership Award at the 1st Annual Global Action Awards Gala 16. due to her support of Blessings in a Backpack, an organization that works to feed hungry children at schools 17. as well as her personal Get Ur Good On campaign with the Youth Services of America. 18. In December 2011, she appeared in a commercial for the charity J/P Haitian Relief Organization and teamed up with her elder brother Trace Cyrus to design a limited edition T-shirt and hoodie for charity. All proceeds from the sale of these items went towards her charity, “Get Ur Good On”, which supports education for under-privileged children. 19. In the same month, she performed her song “The Climb” at the “CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute” at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles. 20. In 2012, Cyrus released a cover version of Bob Dylan’s “You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go” featuring Johnzo West for the charity Amnesty International as a part of the album Chimes of Freedom. She also appeared in a commercial for Rock the Vote campaign which encourages young people to make their voices heard. She additionally supports 39 well-known 21. Make-a-Wish Foundation 22. Cystic Fibrosis Foundation 23. St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital, 24. To Write Love on Her Arms 25. NOH8 Campaign 26. The Jed Foundation, among several others. 27. She also appeared alongside Justin Bieber and Pitbull in a television special entitled “The Real Change Project: Artists for Education”. On July 26, 2014, it was announced that Cyrus would appear alongside Justin Timberlake at an HIV/AIDS charity event in the White House.[252] 28. At the 2014 MTV Video Music Awards, Jimmy Fallon announced that Cyrus was the winner of the Video of the Year award for her song “Wrecking Ball”. Instead of accepting the award herself, she sent on stage a man by the name of Jesse, a homeless 22-year-old that Cyrus met at My Friend’s Place, an organization that helps homeless youth find shelter. His acceptance speech encouraged musicians to learn more about homeless youth in Los Angeles and what they can do to help at Cyrus’s Facebook page 29. Cyrus then launched a Prizeo campaign to raise funds for the charity My Friend’s Place, an organization in Los Angeles that helps homeless people from the ages of 12 to 25 find housing, jobs, health care and schooling. Those who made donations were automatically entered into a sweepstakes for a chance to meet Cyrus on her Bangerz Tour in Rio de Janeiro that September.

Emma Watson 1. Watson has promoted education for girls, visiting Bangladesh and Zambia to do so. 2. In July 2014, she was appointed as a UN Women Goodwill Ambassador. (For Emma fans, I haven’t added any of the sub tasks other celebrities did as a spokesperson for something so I won’t for Emma either). It was mostly speeches btw (I searched outside wikipedia to find other things she did, which I haven’t for the other celebs here, so if the ones below aren’t detailed it’s because I didn’t have Wikipedia’s extra info) Other charities 3. Shelter box 4. Small step project 5. Great Ormond children’s hospital 6. Oxfam 7. Sense 8. Book club 9. Visited Indian slums

Emma’s basically on the mid to lower end when it comes to the amount of charity work she’s done. How much the less famous, less rich actors would do.

Wow what a list!

#submission

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casual-lip-bites · 8 years ago

Text

Prologue and Chapter 1

To Everyone in the Whole World. Every small thought or action or choice every single person has ever made has warped the universe into what it is now, and for that I thank you.

Prologue I bet you thought that this was going to be an insightful book or something. Well, you were wrong. This book really sucks. No one thought it would ever get published, much less finished. Not even my mom believed in me. But as I kept writing it, I thought of all the stupid teen romance books I’ve read and thought, hey, if those could get published, why can’t I publish a book too? So I’m really sorry if you decided to buy this or something. I hope you kept the receipt, because in truth, my book probably isn’t worth the five dollars or however much it cost you. Not in this economy. Unless, of course, you borrowed it or got it from the library or illegally downloaded it online or something. I hate writing. My vocabulary is passible at best. I never thought that I would write a book, like, ever, but look at me now. Just to let you know, I did not write this whole thing. I had help from my best friend and a Mexican kid who has told me multiple times that he wishes I was dead. These are literally the only people I ever talk to. I’m warning you right now: I don’t know what they’re going to write. Personally, I’m going to try to be PG-13, but I’ve been told that have a swearing problem, so that’s not always going to be possible. You know it’s bad when you have to Google “what does it take for a book to be banned”. It’s right there in my search history. Right above “why are teenagers so smug” and “when can I legally drop-out of high school”. Nothing really matters to me anymore. I’m just here to exist for as long as possible. I don’t like putting effort into anything, really. College is out of the question. I mean, someone has to wipe down gas station toilets. I only agreed to write this novel because there’s not too many realistic YA novels out there. Not everyone can have their dream relationship. (I’m going to marry a trashcan.) Not everything ends happily, and sometimes things don’t end at all. (My story begins at the end.) I never really have any deep thoughts. (At least, not in the way that it’s shown in teen books.) And most teenagers have boring-as-hell lives. (Either that, or I just assume that everyone else does too.) Really though, the deepest thought that I’ve had in a week happened when I dropped a bowl of soup and thought “oh shit son” and then wondered if soup has the ability to understand the concept of gender identity and family relations. Truly deep thoughts come and go. It’s usually only the stupid things that I remember long enough to write down. I’m just going to go ahead and warn you, some of the insightful stuff I try to write comes out like it’s supposed to, and other times it will just look like: boop boop boop Are trees vegetables? Exact words are not my forte. I’m lucky that I came up with “forte” right then. I’m really not sure how this will turn out at all. I haven’t even read most of this. I’m not allowed to read what Lily and Ethan write, and they’re not allowed to read what I write. We’re basically publishing it without proofreading each other’s work. It’s supposed to “encourage honesty” or something. So we’ll see how that turns out. Yeah. There’s probably a reason why books like this don’t exist. Again, sorry. Anyway, I wrote this for you because I care a lot about you as a person. I needed this book to exist because I need you to know something. I don’t care if it’s cheesy. You need to hear it. Things can and will get better. Do not kill yourself. I wrote this for you, so you’d better learn something from it. I have bled and suffered and bled some more to get this book out. If you kill yourself, I will murder you. Someone is always ready to listen. Sometimes we forget about people we can count on. There’s always that one person that you forget about. Like siblings. No matter how much you hate each other, no matter how horrible to you they are, no matter how shitty the personality, your sibling(s) will listen to you if you seriously need someone to talk to. Another thing I didn’t consider, until just recently, is talking to someone who has a crush on you. If they like you, chances are they probably don’t want you to hurt yourself. However, if he/she is one of those freaks that crawl in your window at night or design you-inspired sex dolls, you should probably think of another option. Like a guidance counselor. They’re legally obligated to care about your feelings. Don’t forget those people. Someone will listen. There’s always someone. I know this because I was forgotten. Wait, what was I writing about again? I have a really untraditional writing system. I first write out a bunch of BS that I really can’t use and then scan over it the next day. I delete little sentences that don’t make sense here and there until I’ve deleted the whole chapter. Then I re-write it and then ignore it all for a month or two if I’m getting behind on schoolwork or something. Sometimes in the middle of the night I take it out, read it, and type little scraggly messages on it to daytime me. They look like they were typed out by a toddler. I can’t even tell what most of them are supposed to mean, so I spend a lot of time trying to decode things like “bread water” instead of writing the actual story. My favorites are: “com on grill u cans rite better than that” and “higher than meth”. Oh yeah. I also hate it when authors get you attached to a character and kill them off right at the end like they’re actually trying to ruin your emotions forever, so I’m going to go ahead and warn you now so you hate me less for making you read this book. My sister dies in the first chapter. No amount of character deaths in YA books could have prepared me for what had happened. That’s another reason why I needed this book to exist. The suddenness and finality of death is unreal. It’s kind of like a text message ding going off and then the sound cutting out right in the middle of it. And then a random electrical wire snapping and burning and suddenly everything’s on fire and you’re on fire and your pets are on fire and it’s painful and even though you embrace death and dying and enjoy pain this is too much. Another thing: You’re probably wondering what gender I am. Even if it wasn’t at, like, the fore-front of your mild, you were probably subconsciously trying to figure it out. I won’t make you play “Guess That Gender” until my name appears in dialogue or something. This isn’t Walmart. My name is Kirsten Bloom. I also hate it when authors write shit like “his dark, leaf green eyes looked at me, comforting me and giving me memories of summery afternoon walks in the woods with my father” to describe how people look. Like, no. My face isn’t the type of face that could be described in poetry anyway. So here’s what I look like most of the time: I have brown hair. I would have black hair, but my mom won’t let me dye it. I have washed-out green eyes. I’m pale. I dress kind of gothic. (Eyeliner, 90’s choker, black leather boots, black lipstick, black/purple shirt, black skinny-jeans, black jacket with a skull on it.) My style is basically “economically disadvantaged girl trying to act cool and gothic but failing hard”. Just so you know, I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to write this just yet, but I’m sure that it will be really horrible for at least the first two or three chapters. I’m sorry about that, but believe me; it will be so worth it. If you’re anything like me at all, I guarantee that this book will save you from some shit. I have one hell of a story to tell you. And so it begins.

Chapter 1 Katherine Bloom is dead. She killed herself. I can’t believe that she’s never coming back. She was alive just a week ago. She can’t be gone. But she is. Her death is one thing that I have accepted. Once a person is pronounced dead by medical professionals, there’s no way around it. But my heart feels like it’s been ripped to pieces. She was my other half. I never fully comprehended how awful deaths are until I saw my sister on a cold, metallic operating table, her lifeless eyes staring at the ceiling. Seeing nurses in lab coats covering her thin frame in a sheet, gone forever. Watching my mother choke and sob in front of me. Not being completely sure if the screaming sound I heard was coming from my vocal cords or if it was just the sound of my brain collapsing in on itself. After three days of pure depression sprinkled with rage and denial, I know that my little sister is never coming back. Death is permanent. Death is unshifting. Death is cold. And I don’t love. [I warned you it would be like this. Just roll with it.] It’s as if she never existed, except she’s more here than ever. I can actually feel her absence. It’s heavy and empty at the same time, especially in her room. All of the Christmas lights that she always kept in there have been packed away into a little box, just like all of her other things. Mom said earlier that we could donate it to charity, but she hasn’t followed through on that. I have a feeling that her things will stay here forever. My little sister will always have a place in our house. But right now her room is mine. I’ve been sleeping here since I basically smashed everything in my room into a trillion pieces. It has a depressive presence in it, though. This place is so empty without her. I spend most of my time in here drawing invisible circles on her bed that’s been stripped bare, and think. She slept on rosy red sheets, which are now packed away in a box. It was her favorite color. Now her ashes rest in a rosy red urn. It was originally for grandma. We were hoping that she would die. I really wonder about what my sister was thinking about during the afternoons that she spent locked away in here, wasting away. A lump grows in my throat, but I can’t even cry anymore. I’m just done with it all. I still haven’t figured out why she would kill herself. No matter how many things I try to decode from days I can barely remember, I’m no further along than the previous hour. She wasn’t a depressing person. She smiled a lot. She had lots of friends. The only thing that was different about her attitude was that she stayed in her room for extremely long periods of time, listening to music. I didn’t find that alarming, because that was one of her favorite pastimes. Only she usually did it for less than five hours at a time in a locked room. I thought that she was just becoming one of those teenaged girls who like to keep to themselves. Like me. I guess it was more than that. And now she’s dead. I put my head down on the flat bedspread. I am determined to find out the truth. I need to know the truth more than I need oxygen. Someone rings the doorbell. What the hell do they want? I force myself out of bed and trudge over to the front door and open it. My heart starts fluttering and I just can’t believe my eyes. It’s Katherine. She smiles at me and I hug her so tightly that I just might kill her. I’m shaking so hard right now. “I missed you so much. Please don’t hurt yourself. Ever,” I say. When I stop hugging her, I see that she too is tearing up. There’s a bright glow around her. She starts to say something, when- And then I wake up. My sister is dead. And I’m still lying on her bed. I just dreamed it all. I’m ashamed to say that that was not the first time that I had done that. There’s nothing I want more than for my sister to come back. But she’s gone. All that’s left are bittersweet memories. Ashes can’t dance. Ashes can’t sing. Ashes can’t ride bikes. Ashes can’t feed birds in the park. Ashes can’t sit under the stars and watch them twinkle all night. Ashes can’t smile or love. They can’t do any of the things that my sister loved to do. I know for a fact that she didn’t just randomly decide to kill herself. No sane kid just looks in the mirror and goes: Hey. Today was a fun day, but I think that I should just hang myself now. She is, was, a very cheerful person. I secretly envied her for that reason. She was great. We had near perfect childhoods, but for some reason she was the only decent one out of us. The only conclusion that I can come up with is that she was bullied. And once I find out who caused this, I will kill them. All of those bastards are going to die tonight. I’ll stab them over and over and over and over and over and over and over again with the pocket knife she harmed herself with, after I make absolute sure that they feel guilty for their actions. Blood will be spilt tonight. And I hope those faggots rot in hell. I found her pocket knife in her bedroom closet yesterday, when mom and I were cleaning out her room. We were deciding what of hers we should keep and what we should ‘’give away”. We were just expecting to find old toys and stuff like that. Then I found that thing. Actually, it really wasn’t that hard to find. It stabbed me in the kneecap. I gave mom the knife. I didn’t give any explanation at all. The knife said more than any words could say. Apparently, that was a bad idea, because she didn’t say anything after that. She just got in the car and left me there, holding out the bloody knife. Now, that said more than words could say. For a wild moment I thought that she had abandoned me to start a new life. Wouldn’t be the first time someone did that. Apparently, mom went to the liquor store to drown her feelings in alcoholism. But she might as well leave, with all the support she’s given me. It’s like her soul was sucked out of her eyes. I hid the blade in my jacket pocket the minute she left Katherine’s room, assuming that she would take it from me eventually. But she never intended to, for reasons that I already covered. Katherine was just a kid. What did she do to deserve this? What did I do? There’s no way that she hung herself. But she did. She left mom and me. She didn’t leave a note or anything. There was no warning. It just happened. Everything reminds me of her. I’ll have to get used to it, considering the fact that I live here. I shut my eyes. I hate everything in this house, especially the mirror, which I can’t stand to look into. My face isn’t my face anymore. It’s Katherine’s: the same Katherine who was hanging by her neck in the bathroom, staring at me blankly. My make-up probably looks really runny and shitty. I decide to brave looking in the mirror. I look for only half a second, and then shut my eyes. My chest feels heavy. I lose my breath. When I say I can’t stand how I look, I mean it literally. Anyway, my eyeliner looks how I thought it would look. I look like a raccoon going through a gothic phase. I’m never going to heal if I stay here. Sometimes I just think about getting in the truck and leaving home forever. Like in every non-supernatural YA novel ever. But then my mom would have no one, except her liquor. Sometimes I think if I got drunk maybe I could experience whatever magical delusional feeling she’s experiencing, but I come from a long line of people who ruined their lives with alcohol, so I’m not going to take that chance. I am the generation that finally gets it right. I smoke instead. I strip off my jacket (aka security blanket) for the first time all day and walk right out the back door. The night air feels warm and cool at the same time. Crickets are chirping. The wind feels amazing. I’ve always preferred night-time. Usually in the summer I change up my sleep schedule where I wake up at 3:00pm and go to sleep at 5:00am so I can mostly stay up at night, but still do stuff with friends in the afternoon. Plus, going out and doing whatever at night means that there’s zero chance of getting sunburned, and everyone’s asleep, so it’s like I live in my own little world. It’s just me and the sky. I’ve decided to not do that this year, because I need as much stability as I can get. I get out my lighter and cup my hand around it. The flickering flame illuminates the cigarette just before I light it. Contrary to popular belief, smoking is actually a great way to cope. First of all, it’s fun. Second, I can get a nice buzz going without losing my mental facilities, and not just because I lost it all beforehand. Third, you get to light things on fire. That’s always fun. And fourth, you can slowly kill yourself by doing it. Then I’ll die slightly after my mom so she won’t have to outlive both kids. Drag. Hold it in. Hold it in. Hold it in. Hold it in. Exhale. Repeat. Drag. Hold it in. Hold it in. Hold it in. Hold it in. Exhale. Repeat. Drag. Hold it in. Hold it in. Hold it in. Hold it in. Exhale. Repeat. I got these from a place some of my friends call “the tube”. I found it by accident a couple months ago. It’s where all the drug-addicted teens at my school hide their drugs and alcohol. They’ve apparently created their own complex mini-black market. I used to be friends with some of them, but now they’ve turned into bitches. Not from drugs; just from being themselves. I would tell you where the tube is, but I promised not to tell. We made a deal. If it was stuff like meth I would report it, but why ruin my joy of having all those people owe me? When I wanted some of their cigarettes, the deal got that much more complicated. I had to make a little trade. You see, in the tube, there’s something they always need. It’s worth its weight in gold, and it’s the same color. It’s pee. They love pee. They have to like it, if they still want to keep their drugs. Each person that trades there keeps a small plastic bag of clean pee on them at all times in case of random drug testing at school. Clean pee is hard to come by for them, though, because mostly everyone who knows about the tube is high as fuck on all the drugs, and therefore do not have clean pee. I am their source of security. I agreed to trade with them. One gallon of pee buys two packs of cigarettes. I think it’s a fair trade. What would I do with all my pee anyway? A car zips down the road. The wind and dust hit my face a few seconds later. I gag and spit out the dust. Smoking by the road really isn’t safe, but at this point in the game, I really don’t care if I die. Actually, I care just enough to live just so I don’t inconvenience others. I wish I could end it all sooner. Ever since the suicide I sometimes notice my breathing and go: why? Why did she die instead of me? I’m not going to rush anything, but if I got hit by a school bus tomorrow, I don’t think that I would really care at all. My stomach jolts in a funny sort of way. Tomorrow is the last day of school. I hate school, but I always miss it when it’s gone. Sure, it’s shitty and stuff, but it does provide stability. I need to go back, even if it only is one last day. School will hopefully bring something normal back into my life. It will also give me a chance to spend time with my friends before summer break, if you can even call them friends. They’re basically just the people I hang out with at lunch so I don’t look stupid sitting alone. They seem to like me enough to tolerate me, which is nice, I guess. Those people are very, um, interesting. First of all, there’s Molly. She’s the smartest person at our school. Everyone wants to be her friend. She helps people she likes with their homework and stuff. After spending so much time around people who are brown-nosing her, I forgot the stereotype about nerds having no friends. I honestly have no idea where that came from, because at my school, we treat the smart people like royalty because we depend on them for, like, not failing. There’s this kid named Jacob who also sits at my table. His stupid hairstyle has not changed in sixteen years. He’s strange and vaguely fucked-up, but I guess we all are to some degree. He gives off a weird sexual vibe, but not really a rapist/child molester one. It’s softer and seems more obscure, like maybe he’s sexually attracted to goats. I really should stop his description here. And then there’s Lily. She has the weirdest stories. I read one of them and my eyes nearly bled. It was a Twilight fanfiction in which the characters were all gangsters. Her face is always really flushed and she laughs at everything. Except when she’s on her period, which in that case she turns into the nastiest, loudest, bitchiest person you’ve ever met. A lot of weird shit happens at that table. My favorite was when we created a match.com profile for a burrito someone dropped on the ground. It was the most amazing thing in the world. “Burrito1230345 looking for a one-night stand. Bring candles, incense, and lots of lube.” Lily tried to reposition it so it would look as sexually suggestive as a burrito could possibly be, but she failed horribly. Jacob took over and did the job right in less than a minute. How he managed, no one knows. It all started when Jacob’s crush dropped the burrito on the ground as she walked to her table. Jacob started staring at it because, of course, he’s a freak. We started to joke with him about him wanting the burrito, because Jacob just has the kind of pervy face that makes him look like he wants to screw everything. He said that he didn’t want it. We felt bad for this little burrito, because not even Jacob would make love to it. Somehow, ten minutes later, we created a full profile for our burrito. Those were good times. I’ve laughed a lot a that table. I miss those little fuckers. I haven’t seen another human being besides the local news and the pee collectors in a week. The news people did a story on my sister’s suicide. I remember watching it. Our story was the second to last thing on there. The day before the news report, they interviewed Mom. That did not go over well. When they tried to talk to me, I turned away and walked into the house. I don’t need their sensationalistic crap in my life. I thought I was through with them, but then they entered my house WITHOUT PERMISSION and asked me “WHAT MY MOOD WAS”. Take a fucking hint. What did they think? Did they consider it a possibility that I was elated that my sister committed suicide? Did I look like I was jumping over rainbows and skipping through meadows or something? You know, this is why I am no longer considering journalism as my career. I now hate the media. This whole thing has really opened my eyes. They didn’t show either of the failed interviews, thank God. I will give them that. Even so, the newscasters had blank, empty faces when they were giving the report about the suicide. Then, not a moment later, they were smiling and talking about a baby animal that was born in the local zoo. It’s clear that they don’t really give a damn about anyone’s feelings. About a second before I fall asleep (I collapsed on the rocking chair we have outside), my mom pulls up into the driveway, back from her midnight run to the liquor store. She ran into our trashcan pretty hard. That’s just wonderful. She’s driving drunk. Actually, she’s probably not even drunk, but depressed slap-happy. It’s a good thing that I have my own car so I can drive to school without chicken bones flying off the hood. I got mom’s old one about three months ago after I got my driver’s license. I always hated the school bus. I’ve seen some shit there. Mom got a new Honda a year ago. She was supposed to get a used one. To be fair, Hondas aren’t the most expensive cars, but still. She’s going to run that thing in the ground if she keeps that up. I hope that the car insurance will cover the damage. But I have a really bad feeling that the car insurance is actually my college fund. Bye, college. Mom gets out of the car, kicking out some wine bottles in the process. I don’t really want to witness this. I snuff out my last cigarette and go inside. My lungs were starting to struggle anyway. I crash on the couch and quickly fall asleep, praying that my brain won’t force me to relive my sister’s death again like it usually does. I wake up at what feels like seconds later, but it is pitch black outside, and the sound of thousands of horny cicadas chirping is louder. I’m thirsty and covered in sweat. My dead sister didn’t revisit me again, so that’s a plus. Forcing myself off the couch, I get a glass of milk and put it in the microwave. My head spins, due to either the smoke, the alcohol smell coming from mom’s bedroom, or how fast I moved in a short amount of time, or all three. It takes me a minute notice Mom, in her room, passed out. I suddenly wish that microwaves had a “silent” option. Mom would never hurt me intentionally, but you know. After the infernal beeping sound ends, I quietly get the milk out and slowly trudge over to the table. I sit down, taking quiet sips from my glass. Mom herself said that it was unhealthy to have addictions. But here she is, passed out, wine running through her veins instead of life. I wish mom was happy again. I wish that she would go to work and pay attention to the last daughter she has left. But wishes are empty. We are not happy. It’s like we all died that awful night. In some ways, I did die. My dreams are rotting away. My sanity is hanging by a single string of skin. The better half of me is gone. I’m ripping apart at the seams. Emotional pain is probably the worst abstract concept ever. I would burn off my right hand to see my sister for one more day. I would walk across hell if it would give her one year on earth. I would die a thousand painful deaths to make her happy. If only I cared enough about her before the suicide. Forget walking across hell. I couldn’t even walk to her room. A lump grows in my throat. What sort of things did my sister experience? Does she still remember it? Whatever it was, I hope that she’s stopped suffering. I really hope she didn’t go to hell. She couldn’t have, though. She’s too pure. Everything is temporary. That’s just one harsh fact of life and the workings of the universe. However, it would have been nice if the universe was kind enough to allow my sister to be a little less temporary. I look at the pictures on the table. You know what’s funny? Family photos are funny. They’re like little windows into the past. It takes me back to when I dressed normally, Katherine was little and not dead, Dad was here and still loved my mom, we lived in this big house by a river, and life was generally just, like, better and stuff. It sickens me, the fact that the happy people in those pictures have no idea about what the future holds. I chug the rest of my milk, accidentally spilling half of it on the table and my chest. I’m not cleaning that shit up. Stretching, I quietly go back to my sister’s room and fall onto her bed. I stare at the ceiling fan and watch it spin around and round. Just like my brain. I shut my eyes. Rain lightly taps on our metal roof. How long was it raining? I tilt my head to look out Katherine’s window. Water falls gently upon the water-starved ground. It runs and runs until it finds a low area to rest in. Then the soil draws it in like a slow breath. My eyelids close once more and I focus on the rain and nothing else. A boom of thunder wakes me. Unfortunately, I’m the type that stays awake all night if I wake up. Now I’m alone with my thoughts. I’m just tired enough to not be able to grab my phone. I wish I could play some music to drown out my thoughts. My brain won’t shut the hell up. I’m being reminded of everything I’ve ever said or did with her. I miss my sister so much it actually physically hurts. I wish I killed myself instead of her. I really have no idea why she killed herself at all. I can’t think of any conversation or anything that could even slightly read as “suicidal”. She’s not even that good at keeping secrets. What am I missing here? Is it just really obvious or something? I’m so frustrated. She didn’t even leave a suicide note. I really wish she had. I mean, isn’t that something that you just do when you kill yourself? I mean, I guess there’s not really a rulebook or a protocol for that sort of thing, but yeah. I have to go to school tomorrow. Maybe that would help me sort out my thoughts. Maybe I can consult with Jacob and Lily and Molly and see if they might know anyone who can help me. I need to find out what happened to my sister. It just doesn’t make any sense at all. I wish I could just find something that would answer all of my questions just like that. It’s probably going to take a while to know the whole truth, but I will do everything it takes. Mark my words.

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