#i wanna write it so bad its making my ass itch

[dearunreliablenarrator]

just a itty bitty writing share of some dialogue...

"Surely, you cannot wish to marry her? You must have heard the rumors that spread about, you cannot be so be gone with this woman to leave behind your dignity and honor! She is a charmer! A user!”

“Then let her use me! If the truth behind this marriage of that of lies and betrayal then so be it. As long as everyone remains well, that is all that matters. End of discussion.”

“But Your Grace, what of Ms. Yvette? You cannot expect her-“

“When I say end of discussion, you are to say ‘Yes, your grace’, give me your back and close that door. Not talk back, take this as your only warning.”

“Yes, Your Grace..”

[sillysowa]

I’m sorry if this is against your boundaries, please say if it is ☺️ But, would you write a Hobie x reader smut but Hobie is kinda like ‘angry’ with y/n bc he’s jealous he’s spending more time with her friends than Hobie so he just one day pulls them away in the middle of a conversation she’s having with her friends maybe to a random room and locks them both in there’s and it’s just jealous Hobie sex its 100% okay if you aren’t okay with writing this! ����

I’m completely chill with this in a non-toxic way which is what you clarified in another ask so here you areee~!

JELLY

PAIRING: HOBIE BROWN X FEM!READER

GENRE: SUGGESTIVE, SMUT

WORD COUNT: 2.1K

WARNINGS: USE OF Y/N, LIGHT SPANKING, SEMI-PUBLIC SEX, CUMMING ON THIGHS, POSSESSIVENESS AND JEALOUSY, FEM!OC THAT HITS ON READER

AUTHORS NOTE: NOT PROOFREAD

SYNOPSIS: HOBIE’S NOT TOO FOND OF YOUR TOUCHY FRIEND

—

You hadn’t told Hobie that your friends would be at the club tonight.

He doesn’t have a problem with you having friends or hanging out with them—but tonight? Fuck no.

You wore the sexiest dress Hobie had ever seen you in, form fitting and the perfect color on your skin—he was practically glued to you. On the walk to this new hidden nightclub he was dying to go to with you, he had a firm grip on your side, his hand occasionally slipping down to squeeze your ass,

“Look so pretty, doll.” He whispers in your ear, making you blush and shyly tell him,

“Stop~” You giggle. He doesn’t, he lives for that embarrassed look on your face as you press more and more against him while you walk, hugging his whole arm close to you. Any man that walked by eyes you in a predatory way, quickly averting their eyes when Hobie stared back, pulled you closer, or snapped at them with a quick,

“Piss off.”

You near the entrance to the club, a restaurant by day. You both bathe in the purple flown of the LED sign before you stand in the short line, waiting your turn.

The bouncer lets the both of you in, and you walk through the narrow hallway into the lower part of the restaurant. It’s small, it’s beautiful, and it’s packed. You nearly suffocate anywhere you turn. Hobie hokds you close, bringing you onto the dance floor and holding you close,

“This place is nice ain’t it?” He smirks, leaning down so you can hear him over the background sounds. You nod, eyes full of life and energy,

“Yeah! This is gonna be a good night Hobes.” You smile in that silly way that makes his heart squeeze. He dances with you, sensually and smooth. When you dance, you take on a persona of sorts—you’re wild, free and absolutely gorgeous. Hobie doesn’t care if your dancing is objectively good or bad, it’s so you, so to Hobie, it’s beautiful. One specific song gets you revved up, twerking to the beat. Hobie comes close to get behind you when he see’s two manicured hands grab your hips. You both flinch and look at the person, and both of you have vastly different reactions.

“Oh my god, Destiny, Hey! What the fuck, what are you doing here?” You gasp, hugging your best friend as your whole friend group appears behind her.

“It’s just pure coincidence! I had no idea you were here!” She exclaims, excitedly talking with her hands. Hobie walks up behind you, his hand slipping around your waist. He says nothing, just looks down at your friends. The girl closest to you, Destiny he now knows, is actually roughly his height. She looks at him with a slightly challenging look, putting on a smile that makes his skin itch,

“You must be Hobie.” She says, no hand extend, no positive tone, no nothing. Hobie just nods,

“Mhm.”

“Y/N, do you wanna get a drink with me and the girls? I’m buying!” Another one of your friends pipes up, all of the gang excitedly chatting and pulling you with them—some gawking over your outfits and some over your boyfriend. Hobie’s left standing there, completely stunned. He tongues the inside of his cheek, his eyes rolling back and his hand sliding down his face, a chuckle escaping his lips,

“Ohhh, Y/N, Y/N, Y/N…”

—

“So like…is it big?” One of your friends asks as your mid sip of your cocktail, nearly choking on it.

“F-Fuck, yes, guys—yes, damn.” You giggle, embarrassed by all the comments and questions asked about your boyfriend. Destiny is awfully quiet, stirring her drink and staring at you with starry eyes. She’s sitting very close to you, her leg against yours. She occasionally will drag her hand up and down your thigh, but for now it just rests idly on top. You don’t think too much of it as she’s often very affectionate, but you do think of Hobie and how that might make him feel.

Oh fuck, where’s Hobie?

You suddenly remember that you left your boyfriend all alone on the dance floor. Your stomach dropped thinking of how that might have made him feel, and your hairs stood up as you thought about what he might do—all jealous. You had never seen Hobie like that, the idea made your thighs squeeze together and tense.

“Nervous?” Destiny asks, her satin voice derailing your train of thought. You notice all the other girls are talking amongst themselves and now Destiny’s full attention is on you,

“About?” You ask, expression innocent and confused. Before she can speak you notice her gaze travel up, smacking her lips after applying her lipgloss and never looking away. You go to turn, but a large and cold hand comes down into your shoulder—Hobie.

“There you are. Havin’ fun with your little friend?” Hobie asks, his voice husky and deep. You shudder, your eyes flickering down to where Destiny’s hand rests on your thigh, softly rubbing the skin there. She doesn’t stop, just holds eye contact with Hobie.

You feel incredibly anxious—caught in between some kind of cat fight between your best friend that obviously has some feelings for you that you weren’t aware of and your jealous boyfriend who looks about ready to jump her.

Instead, Hobie calm and collected grabs your hand and gently helps you up off the bar stool, leading you to the bathroom. Destiny smirks,

“Nice meeting you, Hobart.” She says with mock interest.

“The pleasures all mine.” Hobie quips, not even sparing her another glance as he drags you through the crowd. Your friends at the bar all went silent to watch the show, whispering the moment you were both out of earshot. Hobie opens the one stall restroom, both of you entering as he kick the door shut behind you, locking it without even turning around and instantly, he was all over you. He scooped you up, your ankles around his back as he kissed you all over your neck and but your ear, whispering right into your soul,

“You’re gonna tell me exactly who the fuck that Destiny bird is back there because that was no friendly touching going on.” He grunts, slapping your ass and making you yelp. Hobie sets you down, bending you over the counter and pulling you up by your neck, your back flush against him. You see yourself in the mirror, and you see Hobie. The low lighting in the purple LED lit bathroom makes him look so fucking good—he’s deep gaze in the mirror, his veiny hand over your neck like a necklace and his large frame towering over yours.

“I-I swear I didn’t know it was like that Hobie. She’s always been just a friend.” You admit. It’s the truth, and Hobie believes you. He knows you’d never cheat on him, but God did the idea piss him off. It got under his skin like nothing else. He grunted, his hand sliding up your exposed thigh,

“No one else gets to touch you like this, I thought you knew that.” He says with a sympathetic tone, sighing,

“I guess I have to remind you, hm? Is that how you want it, love?” He smiles, his voice dark and deep. It sends a surge of desire to your pussy, clenching and throbbing. You whimper as his hand trails up and cups your pussy, his large hand on your back and bending you over again. Hobie webs your hands together behind your back, securing them after he asks,

“What’s your color, Y/N?”

“Green…so fucking green.” You murmur, almost positive you’re dripping with arousal by now.

Hobie laughs gently, pulling your dress up to expose your bare ass. He smooths his hands over it, gently caressing. You relax into his touch, getting too comfortable because he soon slaps your ass, causing you to gasp and cry out,

“C’mon, louder f’me love.” He shushes you, kissing right where he spanked you, before slapping the other cheek, reveling in the pretty noises you make.

He spreads your legs, leaning in and burying his face in between your folds. You gasp and cry out,

“Hobie! Hobie ah~!” Your thighs shake around his head as his tongue darts out, lapping up your arousal. Hobie groans at your taste, sucking your pussy and bobbing his head. He can’t get enough of your cunt, worshipping it with his face. He sucks your clit, sliding two fingers into your hole and curling them just the way you like. He’s doing everything in his power to get you as riled up as possible—and it’s working. The small bathroom is filled with the sounds of your pleasure, and you tremble at his tongue,

“Oh~ Hobie, i’m close~” You whimper, his tongue wet and warm on your pulsing clit. He kitten licks you a few more times before completely stopping, pulling away and standing up. You look fucked out already, too needy to even stand up. Hobie smirks at the disappointed look on your face and the way you clench your thighs together.

He’s never edged you before.

“You’re that mad Hobie?” You groan, whimpering and crying because of how much you want to cum. Hobie just sees it as laughable, undoing his belt and pulling his pants down far enough to free his painfully hard cock. He rubs it against you, graining and throwing his head back. You’re both a horny out of your minds, and you’re loud as fuck—everyone even remotely near the bathroom can hear the exact moment that Hobie finally puts it in.

“Oh fuck! Faster, Hobie! Ah~!” You whine and tremble. He’s not holding back, his pace fast and unrelenting. With every drag of him inside you he grunts and hisses. His long fingers trail around your neck and squeeze it just right, pulling you up against him and whispering in your ear,

“Fuck, say that again, baby, say my name. Scream it f’me.” He groans, his hands moving down to cup your breasts. The sound of skin slapping rings like a symphony in your ears, and tears prick in your eyes from the stimulation.

Hobie’s loud and vocal, just the way you like it, and he smirked at every whimper he was able to draw out of you. Your fingers gripped the porcelain sink, your eyes clamped shut—you knew if you looked at Hobie it would be game over and you’d cum instantly. He has this crazed look in his eyes that you’ve never seen, you think it’s the jealousy pumping straight to his cock.

“Open your fucking eyes, Y/N.” He groans, fucking into you impossibly faster. You feel your pussy clench around his Hobie’s cock, and clearly he feels it too, pulling your hips back and grinding them against him. He fucks you with calculated thrusts, hungry for your orgasm,

“Come on love, no one else can fuck you this good yeah?”

“N-no, Hobie!” You moan loudly. His length, all warm soaked, pumps inside you, bringing you right to your orgasm. The sounds you both make are downright sinful and you feel your eyes roll so far back that you sweat you saw your brain.

“S-Shit…Come on, we’re taking this back to mine.” Hobie speaks right into the shell of your ear, his voice an octave lower than the usual and his cock twitching as he pulls out of you, quietly whimpering from the friction. He groans, his pre-cum dripping over your thighs and legs and down to your heels.

“O-Oh, God…Hobie…you’re so messy.” You moan with a slight giggle, the sight and feeling driving you insane. Hobie takes your hand and pulls your up, leading you out of the restroom. You both weave your way through the crowd and you’re positive there’s no way you didn’t smear his cum on some club-goers. You near the exit and lo and behold, Destiny’s there. She’s holding your purse that you had forgotten. When she sees you, shes smiling at first, but the moment she notices the state of you and the semen coating your skin her lips curl in disgust. She hands you your purse and eyes Hobie in disgust, saying nothing. Hobie just chuckles, waving his large hand at her,

“See ya later, ninny.” He spits with a sense of pride. He’s fucked you up this much and he’s not even done with you, plus he got to piss off your touchy friend—it’s a god damn win-win. And holy shit is he going to wreck you when you’re back home. He can barely wait, Hobie grabbing your waist and slinging up into the sky with you,

“Don’t think you’re off the hook, love~”

—

@ohxx @luxxtuxx @fatenpara

[forthehpfanboys]

Under the Stairs

Pair: Sirius Black x Reader; he/him.

Summary: Sirius has about 0 control over his hands during dinner. That's about it. Oh, and sex by the stairs.

Warnings: SMUT (MDI), kinky, dirty talk, exhibitionism, kinda and bad writing. If I missed any please dm me.

Notes: It's gay, man. And I am so, so sorry for how long this took. This took so long, I’m sorry.

~DO NOT REPOST ANYWHERE~

-

“Sirius!” You smacked his hand away from your thigh for the fifth time that night. You were just trying to enjoy your dinner surrounded by your friends and family and Mr. Grabby Hands next to you was making it hard to do so. Like, couldn’t you eat in peace? Was that so much to ask for? 

Sure, you missed the animagus more than anyone could understand, but Merlin’s beard, he was exceptionally grabby tonight and it was starting to get on your nerves, especially since Harry was just across the table with his best friend's family. All nine members and then some, but did Sirius care? No, not at all. Did he ever care? Nope. Once, he fucked you against the wall separating your shared room and Lupin's room. He truly held no shame.

“What?” He turned to look at you, his head tilting to the side. “What’s wrong, love? I thought you missed me.” He grinned at your red cheeks. Godric, you wanted to pull on his hair. You tried to act like your trousers’ weren’t just a tiny bit tighter than when you first sat down.

“I missed you, not your left hand.” You hissed out, smacking his hand away again. “There are actual children!” Your eyes darted around the table. No one seemed to notice what was going on between you two, thank Merlin.

Your nostrils flared when Sirius let out a chuckle, his hand running through his fingers before he nodded. You audibly squeaked when he tugged the side of your chair so you were shoulder to shoulder with him. You smacked his chest, hoping he got the gist with a final glare.

“Fine, fine. I got the message. I’ll be good.” Sirius placed his hand on your knee this time, his thumb running along the fabric of your jeans while he engaged in the conversation with his old friend.

You let out a quiet thank you, your head filled with doubt, before going back to eating. You eyed the hand under the table when you felt it shift. He was shifting the ring on his finger so the jewel was in a more comfortable position before it went still again. 

It wasn’t until you were bringing your cup to your lips that you felt the hand move quickly to the space between your legs. You jumped when his palm grinded against your hardening flesh through your jeans, your thighs clamping around the hand. You slammed the cup down, your other hand catching the dribbles of water that escaped. Your head snapped over to him just in time to see him winking at you while raising his own glass to his smirking lips.

The hand that was now free from the glass grabbed his wrist while you wiped your face down. You bit down on your palm when he began to grind against your bulge. Your eyelids fluttered for a second but you snapped out of the state when Harry turned to you, a smile on his lips.

“I’m sorry, what?” Your voice cracked in the middle and you played it off like water went down the wrong pipe with a fake couch. Harry just waved off the excuse and scooted closer, the smile as bright as ever.

“I was just wondering if Hermione, Ron and I could check out a muggle shop in town tomorrow? We really wanna show him other ports besides quidditch.” 

“Quidditch is the only sport that matters!” Ron shouted at Harry, causing you to snicker. You borderline forgot about the hand caressing your dick and the man basically sitting on top of you.

“Sure, if Molly let’s the twins go with you. You need some form of an adult between you there and Hermione needs a break.” You let out a laugh when the twins began to argue with Harry, something over products and quidditch being the only thing that matters and Hermione shouting a loud ‘thank you!!”. Honestly, at this point you were losing your train of thought. The palm against your pelvis was adding pressure, making you bite your tongue. 

“I say, love.. For someone who protested so hard, you sure got hard very quickly.” Sirius’ sultry voice whispered in your ear, causing you to shiver and flush a bright pink. You put a hand on his chest and pushed him back against the spine of the chair.

“Shut it, Black.” You mumbled through a clenched jaw. Your hips jumped forward when his hand slipped into your pants, palming your flesh. Your toes curled against the wooden floor, a needy whine leaving your throat. 

You barely registered when everyone began to say goodnight and flee from the dining room in the same chaotic mass they came in as. Once you heard the last floorboard creak and the last door shut, you let your forehead hit the table, a whimper leaving your lips.

“Finally!” Sirius laughed out, his hand now gripping your cock in your pants, his hand moving slowly up and down. “I thought they’d never go upstairs, didn’t you, love?” He paid special attention to the head, using your pre as lubricant to make it easier. He chuckled louder when a moan escaped your lips.

“Fuck you.” You mumbled into the table cloth, your hands grasping at the wooden table for stability. Fuck, he may have been gone for 12 years, but he still knew your body like the back of his hand.

“Oh, I fully intend on us fucking tonight, doll.” He smirked when you twitched in his hand. He knew how much you loved pet names. “How about we finish this elsewhere, hmm?” 

“But Lupin just went off to bed. I’d rather not get caught tonight.” You gave him the side eye as he pulled his hand away from between your legs and stood up. His eyes glanced down at you, a chuckle causing his shoulders to bounce up and down.

“I never said we’d do it in the bedroom, love.” He offered out his hand, a dirty smirk clear as day across his lips, causing you to blush. He sure did love his sneaky sex. “Of course.. Why would I assume we couldn’t just use a silencing charm and have a grand time behind a locked door.” You grumbled out, taking his hand and standing up. You were even less surprised when Sirius led you away from the dining table and to the living room, swiftly pulling you against him. “But no, we always have to experiment.” You put your hands on his shoulders when he pressed his face into the side of your neck. 

“You know you love being dirty like this, love.” His breath fanned over your neck, leaving you to shudder. He gently led you back against a wall, his hands pressed into your hips. 

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” You whined out, leaning your head to the side allowing the man to pepper open mouthed kisses along your skin. You licked your lips, your mouth dryer than any desert on Earth. 

“I’m not!” Sirius was laughing against your skin, one of his hands traveling south. “I just know how you get, you do have a pretty solid tell.” His hand ran across your bulge, leading your squeak to echo in the dark room. “See, love? This tells me everything.” His mouth worked its way around the front of your throat, licking a warm trail right across your bobbing adam's apple. You tossed your head back against the wall, giving the male more room to ravage you. 

You looked up to see the wall he’d pressed you up against wasn’t much of a wall at all. It was the door belonging to the cupboard under the stairs. If anyone walked down the stairs and bothered to glance down at their feet, or over the railing, they’d see you two easily. It was kinda a turn on. His hand unbuttoned your jeans before pushing them down to the floor. 

“Sirius, come on.” You whined out, your own hands going to unbutton his shirt. You shuddered when he chuckled into your neck. 

“Ok, Ok. I got it, love.” His lips finally met yours in a kiss as your hands pushed the shirt off his shoulders, allowing it to flutter to the floor. His fingers slid under your shirt, his cold hands moved up across your chest before sliding the shirt off your shoulders. Once he’d successfully thrown it across the room, he pressed his lips to yours again, his hands going straight for the underside of your thighs. “Jump.” His raspy voice was back in your ear again.

Once you were sure your arms were wrapped securely around his neck, you jumped up, allowing him to maneuver your legs around his waist. With your ankles locked against his lower back, his hands moved down your thighs and straight to your ass. This man always held back absolutely nothing during your private times together, so of course this time was no different.

Sirius let out a moan when you began to grind against him. To retaliate, he grabbed the elastic of your boxers, pulled it off of your hips and made it snap back against your ass. He ignored your squeak and began to cast a few basic spells- cleansing, maybe stretching- you weren’t sure. All too quickly, he was whispering against your ear again. The stupid tease.

“Don’t tease me, lovie. I will not hesitate to make you scream my name loud enough to make the walls shake.” His hand tugged your boxers down past the swell of your ass, but made sure the top covered you, in case someone did happen to come down. Sirius was risky, but knew literal children were sleeping upstairs. 

He balanced you on his hips with one hand and used the other to tug himself free. He stroked his dick, his tongue gliding across his bottom lip as weak pleasure filled his nerves. Your eyes were automatically drawn to the precum dribbling from the swollen head. At the sight of it, you felt an insatiable itch form in your stomach and a whine left your lips as the white liquid rolled over his fingers and dropped to the floor. 

“Sirius, come ON.” You urged, your hands moving to his long hair. He grinned at how needy you were despite your attitude earlier. He always loved when you’d throw away the pride, the worry, and finally give into him. Sirius gave you a soft peck on the lips and chuckled.

“Alright, pup, alright.” His eyes twinkling with mischief and a quick wink was sent your way. Sirius planted his hands firmly against your ass, spreading your cheeks while mumbling a few spells to prep you. He enjoyed the squeak you made when the lubrication spell kicked in. “It’s cold.”

“No shit.” You griped out, teeth digging into your bottom lip while your heel dug into his lower back, begging Sirius to actually do something. “Babe, I’m wilting like a flower.” You tried to use your legs to tug him forward.

“Aw, I’m sorry, lovie.” He spoke while finally easing into you, and he continued to speak over your moan. “Feels good, huh?” He chuckled, raising a hand to cover your mouth. “Gotta be quiet, darling, or else we’ll have to stop. And you don’t want that right now, do you? We’ve come this far.” Sirius was just teasing you. Such a surprise. 

You grabbed onto his wrist, your eyes almost rolling to the back of your skull when he began to move his hips against you. He couldn’t help but smirk at the whimpers and cries and whines leaving your lips. The wizard was definitely grateful his hand was covering your lips because when he picked a harsh rhythm, and began to rock you higher up the wall with each thrust, your moans raised in volume.

“I do wish you could see how needy you look, stud. It’s breathtaking.” Sirius’ eyes noted how your eyes slowly turned glossy and your cheeks turned hot against his hand. “Absolutely amazing.” He breathed out. He moved his hand to brace the wall allowing him to raise the intensity of your pleasure, but also tuck his head against your neck and trail the skin with kisses. "Try to keep quiet for me, pup."

With that demand, he began to push into you harder and deeper, purposefully dragging a sound out of you despite his demand. You released a whimper loud enough for it to echo in the silent house and his hand smacked against your ass, leaving a louder echo behind. His chest dug into yours, allowing you to feel every shallow breath that left his lungs. It almost felt intimate despite the lustful evening. 

 You bit your tongue, ignoring the taste of iron as you rested your head against his shoulder. With ease thrust, stars were dancing across your vision and your body was sliding higher up the wall. Eventually, you got sick of the taste of your own blood so you sunk your teeth into his shoulder. The sound of skin slapping skin was almost deafening, but the worry about the noise waking anyone was far from the front of your thoughts. 

“You close?” Your voice was rough and crackly, even through the short sentence. You were. Your own cock was throbbing and leaking between your legs, it’s only stimulation being your husband’s stomach rubbing against the underside.

Sirius nodded his head, his hips coming to a stop before he was shifting his arms again. One twisted around your waist, propping you up while the other wrapped around your dripping cock, causing you to toss your head back against the wall with a thud and suddenly you were putty in his hands.

“Oh, shit, Siri.” You bit down on your bottom lip, your back arching off the wall when his thumb grazed the underside of your head. Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling at the curled roots as a reflection of his hand dragging up and down your cock. You weren’t sure if it was moaning his name, or your walls twitching around his cock, but he was teetering on the edge.

“Where do you want it?” His hips slowed, allowing you to actually think and to postpone his orgasm. His hand around your leaky dick, however, did not stop. 

“Oh, fuck, in me. We can shower after this.” You let out a weak giggle, your toes flexing behind his back. He raised his head from beside your neck, revealing his dark eyes, mischievous smirk and tongue sticking out.

“I knew you were dirty. Merlin, I love you.” He purred out, his nose booping yours before he picked up the rough pace again. He wanted to see your eyes rolling back, your mouth hanging open and the beads of sweat on your forehead dripping down your skin. It didn’t take long for him to cum inside you, his lips pressing against yours hard enough to bruise. He had to hide his cry of pleasure somehow. 

Your hands moved from his hair, to his cheeks, keeping him close during the kiss. You always loved his kisses. His lips were between soft and firm, and he poured his passion into every single kiss and it just made your heart flutter. His hips lost rhythm before coming to a stop. He pulled from the kiss, but didn’t move far away. Sirius still wanted to see you finish.

“Come on, love. You can do it.” He smiled, his eyes filled with admiration. The marauder’s hand never stopped jerking in rapid motions, quickly bringing you over the edge with a cry. He pressed his lips against yours a second too late. He didn’t stop until you were trying to wiggle away from his moving hand and whimpering against his lips. “Amazing, lovie.” His voice was breathy and soft and amazing.

“Thank you, Siri. You were amazing, too.” Your voice was closer to nonexistent at this point and it filled Sirius with pride. You ran your hand along your forehead, wiping the extra sweat away from your skin.

“Don’t you mean ‘amazing like usual’?” He giggled, kissing your forehead and kinda smushing his cheek against yours, pulling a matching chuckle out of you. He just kinda held you close, cuddling you into the wall.

“Are you two done?”

Both of you looked up at the same time to see Remus leaning against the railing. He looked about the same amount of disappointed as usual. Sirius waved up to his friend, a grin spread across his lips. He pulled out of you and tucked himself away, doing the same to you as he spoke to his friend.

“Oh, hey Moony! How long have you been up?” Sirius set you down gently before wiping his hands off on his jeans. He was still smiling like a teenager coming back from spring break to their best friend.

“Enough time to know you two are disgusting. Go to bed. There are literal children here.” He grumbled, rubbing his eyes as he turned and went back up to his bedroom.

“Oops. I think he’s mad at me.”

“I’m sorry for your loss of his happiness, but can we shower now?”

“Of course, but I’m going to need time to grieve.”

“Do it in the shower.”

[rebelwrites]

Imma Take Care Of Your Body (NSFW)

Clay Spenser x Reader

A/N THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN REBEL IS IN A THIRSTY AS FUCK MOOD!!! Also this took me THE WHOLE FUCKING DAY to write please show it some love.

Warnings: PURE AND UTTER FILTH! Was gonna put warnings on this but there’s too much to list 😂

Join The Group Chat Here - If You Want Tagging Manually Let Me Know 🖤

Clay Spenser Masterlist

This Months Writing

Being one of the few females on deployment had its advantages, the main one being, you got a hooch to yourself. You didn’t have to bunk with the rest of Bravo. The one major downside was you couldn’t always fill that need on your own, and the rest of the team had no idea of your little arrangement with a certain blondie, well that’s what you thought anyway. You had a itch that was in desperate need of scratching but you had no idea when you and Clay could sneak off to have some fun of your own.

Walking out of your hooch, the warm breeze tickled your skin, it was the first night of deployment so everyone was chilling around the fire pit, beers on hand. Looking around you saw that every seat was taken, and you didn’t fancy sitting on the floor, the sand was a bitch to clean out.

“That’s it guys,” you laughed grabbing a beer from the cooler. “Take all the seats, it’s fine, I didn’t want to sit down anyway!”

“Why you always gotta be dramatic Y/L/N?” Sonny laughed.

“Urm because dramatic is my middle name, Sunshine.” You laughed, hitting round the back of his head. Before moving round the group, standing the stop between Clay and Trent.

“I got the perfect seat for you baby,” Clay said lowly so only you could hear, as he glanced down at his lap, his hand position perfectly, near his crotch. “You know this seat is always free for you.”

“Is that right Blondie?” You whispered as Clay pulled you down onto this lap, this wasn’t out of the ordinary for the two of you, so no one mentioned it.

It was like Clay knew what you were feeling, as he didn’t stop bouncing his leg, it also meant he was in a teasing mood.

“Quit wiggling would ya!” you laughed.

“Why, is it getting to you baby?” He hummed against your ear, his hot breath tickling your skin and you could feel his semi pressing right against the spot you needed him the most.

“Clay,” You said, meaning for it to come out at a warning but instead it came out breathless.

“What’s up babygirl?” He hummed, gently grazing his teeth against your skin.

“You know what, Spenser.” You said as you took a deep breath, trying not to show just how turned on you were right now, it was like a game to Clay. He always tried to tease you in front of everyone.

“Don’t know what you are on about, Princess.” He whispered as he moved his free hand to your thigh. “But you can’t hide how turned on you are , you know I know every inch of this body, and just how it reacts to my touch.”

You couldn’t help but bite your lip as his hand ran up and down your thigh.

“You know Imma take care of this body,” he whispered, “kiss every inch of this soft skin, teasing you, slowly running my fingers over your clit, before pushing my fingers inside of you.”

“Clay, please stop,” you breathed as you squeezed your thighs together.

“Princess, you know I never stop,” he laughed, as he slowly pressed his hard on against your core “I’m going to watch as you squirm in pleasure from just the feeling of my fingers, moaning my name, making you feel like no one else can.”

“Mmm,” you hummed, as you let your eyes flutter closed.

“I wanna feel your body pressed against mine, listen to you moan as I slowly push my hard cock in you, giving you what you really want.” He breathed.

“Oh god,” you mumbled, as he pressed up against you again.

“But you won’t get any of it baby, not until I hear you say it.” he whispered, gently biting your ear lobe.

“Fuck” you breathed. “I need you Clay, so fucking bad”

“That’s a good girl.” he smirked, kissing your forehead. “Who am I to deny you of what you need, let’s go”

You didn’t need to think twice, as you stood up without saying anything to anyone. You headed back to your hooch, with Clay following close behind you.

The moment you were behind closed doors, he pinned you against the wall, his lips crashing down on yours as he pressed his body against yours. You couldn’t lie you were addicted to him, the way he made you feel was like nothing you had ever felt before.

“Fuck, you don’t know how bad I want you right now” he breathed against your lips, as his fingers fumbled with the button on your trousers.

“I’m all yours to take,” you whimpered, leaning into his touch.

“You just know the right things to say to me,” he growled as he pushed your trousers down your legs, pulling your shirt over your head, leaving you standing there in just your underwear, his eyes roaming your body before pushing you down onto the bed. “Damn you are so fucking perfect” he hummed as he pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it on the floor.

“Clay, please,” you whimpered, making him smirk “I need you so bad”

“Patience babygirl,” he smirked as he dropped his jeans and boxers, making your mouth water at the sight that was in front of you. “I told you how things are going to go!”

“Yeah well, change of plan,” you giggled, as you crawled over to him, leaning back on your heels as you kissed his thick thighs, his breathing getting heavier as you got closer to his dick. “You always focus on me, it’s time I returned the favour” without any warning you ran your tongue along the underside of his shaft, feeling the veins against your tongue, slowly making your way to the head as his fingers knotted themselves into your hair, throwing his head back as you sucked slightly harder before taking him all on your mouth. It took a couple of attempts and some gagging, due to him being big and thick, but you weren’t giving up until you had all only him in your mouth.

“Fuck,” Clay grunted, as his grip on your hair tightened, “You and that pretty little mouth of yours will get you into so much trouble one day babygirl.”

Looking up at him through your lashes, as you continued to make him feel as good as he makes you feel, his heavy breathing and grunts, spurred you on, feeling his dick twitch in your mouth. Before he pulled your hair, pulling you off him.

“Playtime is over, Princess,” he growled, as he managed to unclasp your bra with one hand, before pushing you down on the bed. His lips connecting with your neck, gently sucking and nipping at your skin, sending sparks through your body, Clay knew your body like the back of hand, so he knew just what buttons to press.

He slowly and agonisingly, moved down your body, placing hot, open mouthed kisses across your skin, he was in this for the long game and you knew after you would be exhausted, but it was so worth it.

“Clay, please stop teasing.” You cried as he slowly ran his fingers through your wet folds, smirking when he realised just how much he was effecting you. Without warning he pushed two fingers inside of you, making you cry in pleasure, arching your back as he curled his fingers finding your g spot. “Oh god,” you moaned.

“God I love hearing you moan my name,” he hummed against your throbbing clit, the feeling of his breath adding to everything you were feeling, the moment his tongue found your clit made you scream out, tangling your fingers in his hair, your whole body felt like it was on fire and was about to explode any moment, Clay also knew this as you felt him smirk before stopping everything he was doing, making you whine in annoyance, you were so fucking close. “I’m in charge, Princess, you remember that. And you cum when I allow it.”

Feeling him slowly pull his fingers out, you whimpered from the loss of feeling of him, but it wasn’t long before his fingers were at your mouth, without thinking you took his fingers in your mouth, sucking them clean, tasting yourself on him only made you hornier. You didn’t know what it was but Clay always managed to bring the inner slut out of you, doing things you’d never do with anyone else.

“That’s my good girl,” Clay breathed, as you looked up at him through your lashes. “Now where is it? And don’t bother trying to tell me you didn’t bring it because I know you did,” he laughed as he looked around the room. “I know you just can’t live without my cock baby.”

“Backpack,” you breathed, as he took his fingers from your mouth. The anticipation of what was coming was driving you crazy, the item in question was originally meant as a gag gift but now it was something you couldn’t live without.

“Got ya.” Clay grinned as he pulled the black box out, pulling the vibrator out, but this wasn’t your standard vibrator, this was molded from his own cock. “See I knew this gift would be the best thing ever.”

“Baby please,” you moaned as he turned the vibrator onto the fastest setting, holding it against your clit, making your squirm. “I just need you,” you breathed “need you so fucking bad.”

“Patience Princess,” he laughed, watching your breathing get heavier, grasping at the sheets as he kept the toy pressed against you. “Tell me babygirl, how often to you fuck yourself with this, wishing it was the real thing?”

“All the goddamn time,” you cried, bucking your hips against the toy, trying to get some sort of release. “Please Clay,” you whimpered “please just fuck me.”

“Well seen as you asked so nicely,” he grinned as he positioned himself against you, reaching up grabbing a spare pillow to put under your ass, both of your moans filled the room as he finally pushed his solid cock in you.

“Oh fuck,” you cried as you clawed at his arms, the feeling of his hard thrusts and the toy still pressed against you clit sent your body into a frenzy, your legs were shaking and your eyes were rolling back in pleasure. “Oh god, Clay.”

“Fuck baby,” Clay grunted as his grip on your hips got tighter. “Don’t you dare cum yet Princess, not yet.”

“I’m so close,” you cried.

“Soon babygirl, soon,” he moaned as he felt you tighten around his cock. “Fuck you are so tight.”

“Fuck, please, shit,” you cried, the pleasure was just too much for you, the overstimulation and his long hard thrusts were too much, and you couldn’t hold back any longer. Digging your fingers into his arms, you cried out, you didn’t care that the walls were thin and the whole base could probably hear you screaming Clay’s name as the most intense orgasm washed over you, your whole body was shaking as Clay continued to thrust, his grip on your hips getting tighter, and would definitely leave marks but you didn’t care right now, all that mattered was the connection you had with Clay.

Opening your eyes, you bit your lip as you got lost in his blue eyes, your heart was pounding against your chest, your breathing was heavy and it felt like you were floating as you road out your high as Clay found his own climax, his face screwing up, as he took his final thrust, moaning your name as he came.

The toy had now been turned off and tossed to the side, as he collapsed on top of you, taking his weight on his arms, resting his forehead against yours.

“Fuck baby,” he groaned, trying to catch his breath.

“Tell me about it,” you breathed, resting one hand on his cheek and the other in the centre of his chest. “Think that’s the hardest you have made me cum.”

“Won’t be the last either,” he smirked, pausing in thought for a second, as he pulled out. “I want more Y/N.”

“Damn boy, let me recover first.” You giggled as he helped clean you up before laying next to you, pulling you into his arms, resting your head on his chest.

“No, I’m fucking spent right now.” He laughed “What I mean is I want more, don’t get me wrong the sex is mind blowing, but I don’t just want us to be each other’s booty calls. I want to be able to call you my girl.”

“Good job I want the same then.” You whispered running your fingers over his chest.

He didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to, his kiss said everything that needed to be said. Yes the lust was still there, but it was full of passion and love and once again left you breathless.

“I guess we better go rejoin the group,” he whispered against your lips.

“Mmm, ten more minutes,” you whispered, “I don’t wanna leave our bubble just yet and face the real world.”

“I mean if they didn’t know something was going on between us, they sure do now. You really don’t know how to be quiet, do you Princess? Might have to gag you next time.”

“Is that a promise, Spenser?”

@chibsytelford @mrsmarvelous1995 @supervalcsi @talicat713 @disasterfandoms @bravo-four-seal-team @jasonbabymama @jayhalsteadfan-2417 @lotsoflovefromlea @seik-o @ohitshanksgirlxo @velvetcardiganbucky @phoenixhalliwell @pancakeisreading @itsonautopilot @pinkrockstar19 @galaxysanduniversesinmymind @softi92 @abby-splace @withmyteeth

[some-kindofgnome]

sick day

Hawks comes home after a few days away. You’ve come down with a nasty cold in his absence. 

characters: takami keigo (hawks) x f!reader

wc: 2.2k

warnings: smut (18+ please!), reader with a head cold (lil snot action here and there), soft soft SOFT hawks who goes down on u in the morning >:) 

requests: from 2 anons!: I have a request ! I love me some hawks taking care of his sick s/o and when they are better ! He pounces for sex ! Huzzah

&

I’m in desperate need of a hawks taking care of his sick s/o , also because I love your work and also because I’m sick and want to take care of me.

notes: i. adore. writing soft hawks. i just want him to take care of me oh-kay? let this man love. please! 💖 

Masterlist

You’re so sick when Hawks get in, you’ve almost forgotten how long he was away.

After a growing mission took him away from the city for a few days, he gets back early in the afternoon with the sun streaming into the kitchen windows. And with you, hunched over your laptop at the counter with tissues littering the counter and floor around you.

“Hey, bluebird,” he calls as his keys jingle in the door. “God, it’s only getting colder out there by the minute now. How’s you- oh, no.”

When he spots the mess you’ve become, his little mission bag slips to the tiled floor, pulling you out of your fever-induced trance. You tear burning eyes away from your document, and the smile that crosses your face is sleepy and swollen.

“Hey babe,” you sniffle. It’s evident in your voice, your body language, everything. Keigo’s only been gone a couple of days, but it was long enough for you to come down with a nasty little bug.

“How was your trip?”

He cringes at the congested sound of your voice. Sucks in a deep little breath through his teeth.

“What are you doing?” He asks. “Are you working?”

You glance guiltily over your shoulder at your laptop. “Well, yeah, I-I was feeling alright this morning, so I-“

“No way,” he interrupts firmly. He’s already shrugging out of his hero clothes. They’re streaked with soot and mud, but he’s going to worry about himself later.

He comes up behind you jacketless, belt already unbuckled and jingling loose around his thighs. He sets one hand on your shoulder and the other on the back of the chair next to you.

“Email your boss,” he rumbles. “Tell her you’re taking the afternoon off. Tell her you’re sick, for the love of god.”

“Babe, I can work,” you plead. “It’s a cold. I’m not dying.”

“You need to rest,” he argues. He brings both hands to your shoulders, digging his thumbs gently against your aching muscles. You try your best to hide how sensitive they are, but you can’t help the little spasms that make you twitch and sigh.

“C’mon,” he hums, dipping close. He pushes a kiss against the sensitive spot behind your ear, and you catch the soft, musky scent of the sweat that clings to his hairline. He smells earthy and cold, like he’s been outside a while.

Maybe he flew all the way back here.

“We both need showers,” he offers. And when he rumbles it all low and tempting in your ear, there’s no way you can put up much of a fight.

“Okay,” you groan. Keigo turns away with a triumphant pump of his fist. You try to keep the idiotic grin off your face as you open a new email. To no avail.

You and your boss have a close enough relationship that it’s easy for you to type out a casual little email explaining everything to her. She gets back to you right away, and even though you’re too busy being dragged to the bathroom, you can tell by the first few lines of the email that it’s all fine by her.

You kind of regret not telling her before about the fever you’re running. But none of that matters now. You’ve got the last few hours of the afternoon off, and you intend on spending at least some of that time in the shower with Keigo.

He’s already naked and warming up the water for you. You want to ache for him- he’s been away all weekend, after all- but you’re both too exhausted to do anything but climb under the water together. You pause for a moment with rivulets running over both your bodies, and he cups your cheeks, biting his lower lip hard as conflict floods his features.

“I wanna kiss you so bad right now,” he groans.

“I missed you, too,” you giggle back, reaching up to push your wet fingers through his soaking hair. “But I wouldn’t wish this shit on my worst enemy.”

He knows you’re right, settling for a soft little kiss to your shoulder instead. He turns you around and lets warm water spray down your back as he rubs your shoulders, your neck, working all the tension from your muscles. The pain in your head whittles away the longer you stand there, and before long it’s nothing more than a dull throb while he’s reaching for the shampoo.

There’s no feeling you love more than Keigo washing your hair for you. His fingers are attentive and devoted, scratching itches you never realized were bothering you. He scrunches his fingers through the ends of your hair before reaching for the removable shower head, smoothing one rinsed palm over your forehead to tilt your head back.

“Eyes closed,” he coos. You’re still smiling like a goddamned idiot.

The suds sluice down your back as he passes the shower wand over your hair. The bubbles send wafts of fragrance through your senses. There’s nothing like coconut-scented shampoo when winter closes in on the city. It’s like a little trip to the beach, every time you get in the shower.

It was Keigo’s idea.  

He combs loving fingers coated with slippery conditioner through your hair. He lathers up your favourite body wash and trails his slick fingers over your tired skin. You can feel him getting excited behind you, but you’re both too tired to do anything about it. All he does is pull you lovingly back against his chest, letting his half-hard cock rest against the curve of your ass. He lays another soft kiss to the crook of your shoulder and you let out a deep, drippy sigh.

“C’mon,” he rumbles into your ear, tender like a dove. “Let’s get out before your nose starts to run, yeah?”

He dries himself off quickly, leaving you the bathroom for a few minutes. Wrapping your fluffy towel around your shoulders, you pad across the heated tile to pluck a tissue from the box by the mirror.

You blow. Hard. The steam lingering in the room helps to dislodge some of your congestion, and you emerge from the bathroom with the newfound ability to breathe through your left nostril.

Progress.

When you get into the bedroom, there are clothes laid out for you. Your favourite pair of clean sweatpants and one of Hawks’ t-shirts. You slip into the pants and give the t-shirt a little cuddle, burying your nose into the fabric and smiling when you catch the barest whiff of his spicy scent through your dulled senses.

You don’t even notice that the blankets are gone from the bed until you realize where they’ve been moved. As you emerge from your shared bedroom, you immediately spot the fluffy duvet and pillows spread out on the couch.

Hawks is in the kitchen, tapping away on his phone. When he spots you, he smiles so tender and soft it makes your sick little heart swell. He gives a little nod toward the couch as his wings bristle gently, encouraging.

“Go on,” he quips. “Get comfy.”

He comes around the side of the counter as you curl into the nest of pillows and gets down on his knees beside you.

“Here we go,” he hums. “A warm little nest for my cozy little bluebird.” He tugs the edges of the blanket back over and around you, wrapping you up in the fluffy comforter like a sick little sushi roll. Once you’re well tucked in, he smooths the hair back from your forehead. His chin juts forward- he wants to kiss you- but he restrains himself.

“I ordered you some food, okay?”

You snuggle deeper into your cozy retreat, until only your eyes and nose poke over the top of the blankets. The soft, soapy scent of the laundry detergent you use sends sweet washes of comfort through your tired brain.

“What kind of food?”

“Noodle soup,” he hums. You can tell he’s restraining the urge to grin as he looks you over. God, you’ve missed him. “From that place down the road.”

“Yum,” you gasp. You fiddle with the edges of your blanket to shove one hand out the side, grabbing his fingers and giving them a loving little squeeze. He chuckles, taking your hand between both of his and stroking the back of your palm over with both thumbs.

“Here,” he adds. He twists over one shoulder, grabbing the remote for the TV. “Put on anything you want. The food’ll be here soon, and then you can eat and go to bed, yeah?”

He glanced toward the armchair, not far from the couch. You try to hide the way your heart sinks.

He’s still got work to do.

“Sounds good,” you mumble, taking the cool plastic remote from his hand. You think about putting something on for the two of you, but he’s given you express instructions to indulge. So you find the show that brings you the most comfort and let its familiar sounds bring you down from the edge of a demanding work day.

When the food arrives, you sit up and slurp your noodles diligently. He keeps refilling your water, giving you a little dose of cold medication once you’ve got something in your stomach.

He’s ordered a bowl of soup for himself, too, but it stays largely untouched as he taps away on his laptop, finishing the report for the mission he’d raced back from, no doubt.

You don’t remember falling asleep, but you half-wake to the sleepy sensation of being lifted. In a drowsy stupor you don’t even open your eyes, simply letting your head rock forward against Keigo’s familiar chest as he carries you to bed.

The next morning, you feel like a changed person.

The first thing you realize when you open your eyes is that you can breathe through your nose. Both sides. The passages of your sinus are so clear they nearly hurt, but you take deep, greedy breaths, revelling in your ability to clear your sleepy head with fresh, cool oxygen.

The second thing you notice is the very mischievous bird in the sheets beside you.

“G’morning, bluebird.”

He snuggles close to you, dropping a sordid kiss to your shoulder. He trails kisses into the crook of your neck and his hot breath tickles your tender skin in a way that you’ve dearly missed.

“How’re you feeling?”

“Better,” you conclude with a drowsy little smile. Your limbs have a pleasant, sleepy weight to them, but he’s quickly wearing the ache of rest from your tired eyes.

“Like… I’m probably not contagious anymore.”

You don’t have to tell him twice.

“God,” he sighs, rolling on top of you. He dips his mouth to yours, soft at first, then insistent. “I missed ya, kid.”

He kisses all the way down the side of your neck again, drawing tight little shivers from the length of your spine. He’s impatient, though, pushing your t-shirt up and curling his fingers into the loose hem of your sweatpants to rid you of them quickly.

He pushes your thighs apart, settling onto his belly between them. His wings dip and fold gracefully behind his back. You reach out and stroke the apex of one of them, making it flutter. He shoots you a sly grin and you watch the way his hips dip into the mattress.

Fuck, it feels good to be horny again.

Keigo kisses and nips a long path up the inside of one sensitive thigh, leaving tiny little welts where he sooths his tongue over your flesh. By the time he gets to the joint of your pelvis, you’re squirming for him, achy and needing.

“Fuck,” he sighs, nozing at the apex of one thigh. He takes a deep inhale and kisses there. “I missed this.”

He licks, gentle and loving. You keen and sigh. The sensation is beautifully familiar- even more so as he finds the swell of your clit, pushing a scruffy kiss to it and then starting to suck.

Keigo always eats you out sloppy. But it drives you crazy, the way he slides his arms under your thighs to leverage your hips against his face. The way he licks and slurps at you shamelessly, unafraid to overwhelm your sensitive form. His fingers dig gently into the meat of your thighs when he finds the tenderest angle from which to attack your clit, and you ride a wave of pleasure so smooth that it clears the last vestiges of your cloudy headache from the edges of your temples.

He makes you cum hard, letting you dive your fingers into his hair and pull while he feasts on your pussy. When he pulls back from between your thighs, his scruff is slick with spit and you and he’s licking his lips like they’re coated in honey.

“Hmm, fuck,” he groans, rolling his hips into the mattress again before climbing to his knees. “God. You gave me so much, bluebird.” He wipes his chin on the back of his hand, examining the sheen of your juices with a wolfish grin.

If he was hard before he’s straining now, but he bats his hands away before you can even get close.

“No way,” he quips, climbing out of bed. “You need to rest more.”

“Aw, c’mon,” you fuss. But Keigo’s firm.

“Stay in bed, bluebird. I gotcha.” He moves toward the door of your bedroom, then glances over his shoulder and grins.

“How d’you feel about pancakes?”

There’s no instance that Keigo’s tried to make pancakes that hasn’t ended in sheer disaster. But you’ve missed him too much not to adore him for trying. You pull the blankets back over your spent form, beaming at him from the pillows.

“Sounds good.”

[ysljoon]

Daddy’s Favorite Student|DILF!Kim Seokjin x Reader

This fanfic has mature content so please avoid if you’re not 18+.

Warnings: Age gap (reader is 18 and Seokjin is about 45 years old), dirty talk, unprotected sex (please use protection people!), creampie, spanking, fingering (f receiving), oral sex (m receiving)

“Little girl you have to be fucking quiet if you want to continue doing this.”

You are in the current situation of fucking your project partner’s dad while your partner left to go get food for the both of you. You will never deny the fact that older men have always been much more attractive to you then boys your age. This rendezvous started when your teacher partnered you together with a boy that you weren’t even aware that he was in your class. His name was Kim Taehyung and you had to do your senior project with him to ensure that you would be walking across the stage with your diploma in the spring. 

Initially when you were planning out your project with Taehyung he suggested to do the project at his house since it was located right next to a plaza that had a craft store with extensive selections. You rolled your eyes at the suggestion because it definitely had underlying suggestions that you were not interested in. His suggestion was something that you will be forever grateful for. On the first day of working on his project you drove to his house and knocked on the door. You were slightly annoyed since you had a heavy backpack that you were itching to take off since its heavy weight was due to all the craft supplies you thought would be useful. 

You knocked again with an even heavier fist to hopefully get a response and this time the door swung open. You were instantly faced with a gorgeous man that definitely was not Taehyung. His broad shoulders had your mouth watering and you were ready to jump this man’s bones. “Oh, you must be Y/N! Taehyung told me you were coming. Sorry for his awful manners, he's in his room right now and he seems to be deaf once he’s in there.” He moved his body to the side to allow you to come inside and you ignored anything he said about Taehyung. You just wanted to stare at his plush lips all day. “I’m his father,” He stuck out his hand for you to shake it and you were in awe with how big his hand was. You knew they were perfect to manhandle your smaller frame. “You can call me Seokjin or Mr. Kim. It doesn’t matter to me I won’t give you a hard time.” He gave you a warm smile and led you to the stairs and instructed you which door was Taehyung’s. You thanked him and wished that you could spend more time with him. You knocked on the door and saw Taehyung open up with disheveled fluffy hair and wearing a white shirt and sweatpants. Definitely a lot more casual than the vintage style he sports at school.

After brainstorming and getting a rough outline of the project Taehyung was generous enough to suggest getting lunch. He originally wanted you to accompany him while he drove to the fast food restaurant of your choice, but you came up with the excuse that you’ll continue to work on the project so there will be less to do after the lunch break. He looked like he was going to try again to convince you, but he just shrugged and went downstairs to get his keys. You spied through his bedroom window to make sure he was well down the street before you proceeded to make your advances towards Mr. Kim. Just the sound of his name gives you butterflies. 

You got up from the bed and slowly started to explore the upstairs part of the house and you heard busy fingers typing behind a door and you figured it was Mr. Kim doing some work from home. You tried to suppress a grin from your impulsive thought of him fucking you against his desk and making a mess all over his office. You timidly knocked on the door and held your breath while waiting for an answer. He cracked open the door and made it wider once he saw you. “Y/N is everything okay? Where’s Taehyung?” You slipped past him into his office and he closed his door behind him. “Taehyung went to go get lunch for the both of us and I was bored so I wanted to spend some time while I was waiting!” You gave him a wide smile and he nodded at your response. “Well, I don’t think I can entertain you much since I’m doing work, but you can keep me company till Taehyung gets back.” He pulled out a chair for you to sit and you watched him type away on his desktop computer. After a couple of minutes you knew you had to speed up your plan especially if you wanted to get what you wanted before Taehyung came back. 

“Mr. Kim, do you have a wife?” He suddenly spluttered at the sudden question and looked at you from above his monitor. “U-uh no she’s out of the picture.” He tried to keep the answer as vague as possible, but that was all you needed to hear. You got up and made your way around the table and started to rub his back in an attempt to do a faux massage. You started to press your breasts against his back to really get him riled up and this did the trick. “Y/N what are you trying to do right now? I am a father not a teenage boy that does hookups. If that’s what you’re looking for then please go look somewhere else.” His words did not match his actions though and this made you smirk while you continued to rub his broad shoulders. “Mr. Kim, if you really don’t want this you can kick me out right now, but I don’t think that’s what you want.” You purred into his ear and in result he got up and wrapped his hand around your neck. His mood took a 180 and you were getting wetter and wetter by the second.

“Y/N, you better be ready to take whatever the hell I give you since you want to whore yourself out to me. I will make you feel like a fucking whore since you want to be one so bad.” He flipped you and had your body pressed up against the wall. He pulled down your leggings and you felt him already pressing up against your ass. He tapped between your thighs to indicate for you to spread them and you did it with no fight. He started to rub your cunt agonizingly slow to tease you and he let out a low chuckle. “I barely even touched you and your pussy is already so wet and sloppy for me. Christ, you really are a slut. I wonder if Taehyung knows how much of a slut you are.” You shook your head and stuck out your ass to press further against him. 

He ripped your panties off and with no warning he slipped two fingers into you with no resistance considering how turned on you are right now. “You definitely are a whore for me, you can take two of my fingers with barely any prep. I wonder if you can take more?” You nodded and this was not the answer he wanted. He removed his fingers from inside you and gave a loud slap to your ass. “Use your fucking words. If you wanna fuck a grown man you’re gonna answer me and give me the respect a grown man deserves.” “Y-yes sir. I want more of your fingers please.” He fulfilled your request and put an additional finger in your pussy and this had you screaming out in please. If he kept this up you would be cumming in no time. You were already starting to clench and Seokjin was having none of it. “You’re gonna cum on my fucking cock and that’s final.” He took out your fingers and he left you as a whimpering mess against the wall.

“Get on your knees and do what useful whores do by sucking my cock.” You obeyed and waited with baited breath. Once he pulled down his pants your mouth instantly salivated. He was so much bigger than you could’ve ever imagined and it had your whole body tingling with excitement. You took it in your mouth and instantly you knew that you couldn’t get more than half of him down your throat. Seokjin was definitely enjoying the sight of you struggling to deepthroat his dick. “Aw, poor slut can’t even take daddy’s cock. Looks like someone should go back to fucking stupid little teenage boys.” This lit a fire under your ass and you were determined to take more of his cock now. You needed to prove yourself to him. You started to gag around him trying to take more of him and this was enough to bring him close to cumming. 

He yanked your hair to remove your mouth and he slapped your cheek indicating for you to stand up. He quickly admired your tear stained cheeks and the drool dripping from the corner of your mouth. Your fantasies were coming true when Seokjin came behind you and took one of your arms to bend you across his desk. You spread your legs and felt the excitement inside you when you could feel him lining up against your pussy. In one swift motion he came close to bottoming out in your pussy and you let out a screaming moan that was out of pleasure and pain. “Little girl you have to be fucking quiet if you want to continue doing this.” You tried your best to try and quiet your moans, but he just felt so fucking good. Your pussy started to clench again and you knew the tightening in the pit of your stomach was about to pop. “Yeah, be the little fucking slut you are and cream all over daddy’s big fucking cock. You’re taking me so well baby.” His words of encouragement made you completely let go and you were arching your back from how strong your orgasm was. You knew Seokjin was also close because his thrusts were getting faster and sloppier. “Fuck your cunt feels so good wrapped around me. I bet you want me to cum in you. You wanna be filled with my fucking kids huh?” “Yes fuck please! I want your cum so bad!” This was all he needed to hear and he was dumping his cum deep inside of you and it felt so good. 

Once you put your clothes back on you heard the front door open. The timing couldn’t be anymore perfect. “Hey Y/N I’m back! Sorry it took so long. The traffic was crazy. I hope you’re hungry!” “I’m starving! Thanks again for the lunch, Tae.” You scampered out of the office and gave one last wink to Mr. Kim before you went to eat. 

Notes: I got really inspired to write a DILF fic after reading some of @taesinferno content (which is super good go check them out!). If you enjoyed what you read then please like and reblog. If you would like to support my work further you can give me a Kofi.

[ag3ntl3vi]

Hoodie X GN! Reader X Masky | “Rock Paper Sisscors” |☁️

This struck me at like, 3AM while listening to Devil in Diguise. I’ll probably write more parts to this tonight if im being honest. 

!Gender-Neutral reader!

Trigger Warnings: Sexual mentions. 

Word Count: 2,317

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Can you go any slower?" You laughed, stopping to allow your friend to catch up. Sweat dotted her chocolatey forehead as she panted. 

"Yes! I can." She wheezed. "You're just too fast!" Taylor whined loudly, bending herself in half to try and catch her breath. You rolled your eyes and pulled her up, raising her arms over her head. 

"You'll breathe better this way," You told her, taking a step back and taking a long sip of your icy water. Taylor nodded her thanks and slowed her breathing gradually. 

        "Wanna keep going?" You asked as you wiped your mouth on your wrist. Taylor feriously shook her head. "I'll pass, (Y/n)." She whimpered. You put yout arms behind your head as you began to walk down the worn dirt bath. 

"That sucks," You murmered. "We were only 1/4th of the way done."

Taylor gaped at your cocky smirk. "And you do this everyday?"

You nodded. "Twice a day if I'm feelin' lucky," You winked and giggled. Taylor shook her head in disbelief. 

"You're a machine," She grumbled, jogging to your side. You could tell she was tired, but she was the one who asked to join you in your near-night run. She said she needed the exercise to get the perfect "summer body", even though it was fall. 

You hummed. "I didn't know they made sexy machines now." Taylor pushed away the urge to roll her eyes, though she desperately wanted to. She chose not to answer your stupid comment. You both started to walk back to your dorm and planned a junk food movie night. You had the feeling she wouldn't last, but you couldn't say no to her puppy face. You had to admit, you were a sucker for your best friend.          Taylor ended up chugging the rest of her and your water bottles greedily, but you didn't blame her. She was pretty out of shape. The darker skinned girl took a large gasp of fresh oxygen after finishing off your beverage. 

"Learn to breathe, my God," You snorted. She glared.

"I just ran a mile, you can shut your mouth, you fucking monster," She hissed playfully. 

School campus soon came into view after your bickering. Taylor grumbled about how badly her feet ached and how she was never running ever again. You parted ways at the dorm. Taylor wanted to get the living room set up for the movie and sent you out for snacks and drinks. You easily migrated to the everything store. That wasn't its actual name, you couldn't care to remember what it was, but the everything store seemed to suit the run down shop better. 

        You pushed thr glass double doors open, a cute bell ringing to announce your presence to the cashire, Michael. 

"(Y/n)!" He greeted with a smile. You returned the facial gester with a small wave of your own.          "What're you here for this time?" He leaned his head on his open palm, his eyes trained on your figure. You had your back turned to him as you read the movie names on the rack. 

"What does it look like?" You chuckles, plucking a familar title from the shelf. 'Kiki's Delivery Service', a childhood favorite of yours. Michael didn't verbally answer, he was too busy allowing his eyes to roam your every curve. 

His eyes snapped to the side when you turned around to wonder down the candy isle. You shoved a KitKat , snickers, and (f/c) into your arm (allowing an extra of your favored one into your pocket, shh) before you turned the corner, finding the energy drinks. With a childish grin you grabbed a few of the better Monster flavors. You knew you had popcorn at the dorm so you didn't bother trying to find a box here. 

        You decided to check out as quickly as possible, avoiding as much conversation with Michael as you could. He gave you the creeps. He always tended to make sexual remarks regarding your running outfit, like how your shorts made your ass look plump or how cute you looked with a flushed, tired expression. In general, he didn't seem like a good guy or influence, though Taylor took an odd interest in him. She always had shitty tastes in men. 

It was getting late, you noticed. The sun started to darken as students scrambled to their respected dorms or apartments off campus. You made your way to your room. The illuminated cobblestone path gave you the worst horror movie vibes, so to say you booked it was an understatement. As soon as you were inside the safe confindments of your dorms living area, you released a loud sigh of relief. You thought about taking the elevator up, but decided on the stairs to the third story. You were very grateful you were on a higher floor, to you it served as a lesser chance of being robbed or murdered. 

"I brought a movie, candy and monsters, come on, you filthy goblin." you called into the freakishly neat room. Taylor was a very, very messy person so you tended to pick up after her more than you'd happily admit. It didn't take long for you to set positions for certain objects in specific places. Example, your shoes stayed in a small, plastic, blue bin by the door. They didn't ever make it to the carpeted floor of the living room. You had a key rack by the door so your keys were never lost or misplaced and Taylor had insisted you needed a coat rack, so your bookbags and Taylor's purses hung there. Any extra blankets, pillows, and sheets were placed neatly in the spare closet. 

        "Monsters..?" Her brown head popped out from around the corner. 

-----------------------------------------------

Taylor had passed out halfway through the movie, not that you were surprised. You pouted. You were very well use to it, but it wasn't any less disappointing when it happened. You carefully laid her on the couch, not bothering to wake her. She was a literal demon when she was woken up. You covered her body in a large, fluffy blanket before standing, pacing for a moment. 

You wondered back to your organized room and grabbed your large spray bottle you kept on your dresser. You stared down your mass of plants in your window seal and the few on your night stand and hanging from the ceiling before watering the ones that needed it, leaving your Rainbow Bush succulent alone. Satisfied, you grabbed your school jacket and your earbuds and phone before slipping your shoes on at the door. 

It was almost 1 before Taylor and you had finally settled enough to sit and watch the movie, so it was fairly late now. But, regretfully, your body was still pumped from the sugary drinks you consumed not long ago. You made a quick choice to go on a short run to tire yourself out a bit before retiring for the night. Sure, wasn't the best idea to go out at night, alone and defenceless, but you prided yourself in your speed if needed. Besides, you've done it before and you were obviously still alive!

You made your way to the dirt path you ran earlier in the day, struggling to remember a stupid songs name. You grinned when you figured it out and hurriedly played it. The opening played through your earbuds as you gently bobbed your head to the beat.

"There are boulders on my shoulders, collar bones begin to crack, there is very little left of me and it's never coming back," You sung softly along with 'Be nice to me'. An old, but greatly loved song from your middle school years. You began to run.

Your lips parted in a content smile as a phrase slipped past your teeth.

"You're a killer, and i'm your best friend. I think it's unfair, your situation," 

You began to bounce on the balls of your feet excitedly. "You say i'm changing! I'm sorry I didn't know I had to stay the same!" You jumped as your legs moved, your voice growing louder and bolder with every word thoughtlessly spilling out your mouth. You became unaware of the eyes watching your movements, head tilted in confusion. 

"Your voice is driving me insane!" You shouted, hopping more as you swished your head side to side, getting louder everytime the phrase was repeated. The last note rang through your ears and you let out a joyful that was quickly cut off. The overbearing feeling of being watched dawned on you. 

You jerked around and scanned the treeline, your eyes falling on a tall male facing you with a tilted head. You stared at him, confused before your gaze fell on the bloodied pipe dangling by his side. You fearfully and turned around, bolting in the direction the path led you to. You didn't have much time to understand why he was watching you, but you could hear his heavy footsteps crushing dead leaves as he raced after you. 

'Molly' blasted into your ears loudly, making you jerk in surprise. If you were going to die tonight, you were glad this was the song you'd die to. 

You could hear him distantly still chasing after you. Not to brag, but you could run a mile amd keep going onto the next without breaking too much of a sweat, though you'd be fairly tired.          Speaking of tired, you could feel the drousiness spreading to your head and deep down you knew that you couldn't keep the pace up for much longer. 

Sucking in a deep breath, you turned into the woods, lifting your feet high so you wouldn't be the stupid one to trip on a root and be killed first. That would be an embarrassing way to die and not even Molly could make it better, you concluded. 

So you did the most logical thing your sleepy brain could think of.

You climbed a fucking tree.

The man was a far enough distance for you to get a good amount of height between the two of you. You panted, your palms itching with needle-like pain from the rough and merciless bark, but pulled yourself up another branch and looked down. The man was panting heavily, bent over as he struggled to force air into his most likely burning lungs.  He stood up after a quick second, glaring up the tree at you.

Childishly, but overcome with a sense of acomplishment, you stuck your tongue out at him. 

Bad idea, you concluded when the guy's gloved fists clenched by his sides and he started to climb. 

You squealed. "No! Fuck off!" You shouted. "Pick another goddamn tree, you humanoid orange!" A growl ripped through your teeth as you glared fearfully at him.          To your surprise, he got down. He moved his head to stare at you before sitting indian style, his face pointed to you.

For the first time you had a proper look at him, and you weren't surprised. He looked like he came from a shitty horror movie. He wore an orange hoodie with a ski mask hiding his facial features, a red frowny face sitched into it. He had dark blue, wore out jeans and black boots that looked to be kept as clean as Taylor would keep her living space. 

'Best friend' Began to play quietly through your (f/c) earbuds and you forced down a snort at the timing. You were hoddled up in a tree while a guy who most likely wanted you dead watched from below. You shook your head and glanced at the dark sky.

'The stars are out' You thought as you spotted the little dipper, the big one wasn't far away from it's child. 

It only took about ten minutes for your easily distracted mind to get bored. You stared down at the hooded man as he drew in the dirt with his pipe. An idea struck you, a bad one, but an idea nevertheless. And it wasn't going to kill you, with a lot of hope, it may allow you to live another day. 

"Yo, tangerine!" He flinched at your loud voice, moving his head to stare at you. 

You held up a fist with your dominate hand, your opposite going under it, palm up and open.

"Wanna play rock, paper, sisscors before I die?" 

The man stilled before very, and I mean very slowly nodded. You allowed yourself to snort. Now you were going to play a childs game with a murderer. 

"Do you know how to play?" You called down. He nodded again and held up his hands. "Cool," You said.

The orange-clad killer was absolute shit at rock, paper, sisscors. He was even worse than your nephew, who was six and had the attention span of a squirell. Sometime in your game playing, you had moved yourself a few branches down to see him better in the dark woods. You now sat a branch above his head.          He didn't move much, but his shoulders seemed to slump.

You threw rock, again, and he threw sisscors. You gave an evil victory crackle whiele he glared gloomily at his open fingers.          "That was fun," You stretched your arms over your head, yawning. "Can I go now?" You calmly asked. 

He didn't move for a long while, looking between you and his gloved hands, the, back to you. Finally, he nodded. You hopped down, smiling widely. 

"Thanks," You said nervously. He was trying to kill you earlier, so you wouldn't be completely off guard around him. You started to shuffle around him cautiously. His arm shot out, grabbing your upper arm roughly. You flinched hard, looking up at him with wide eyes. 

This is it, You thought He changed his mind and wants to eat me!

Instead, you heard a deep voice whisper.

"You can leave if we can play again soon."

[saradika]

hi!! first i wanna say i love your writing so much! secondly i want to say that the absolute hottest thing in my mind is din and boba battling for dominance (in like a subtle, sexy way) and then one of them finally submits and goes down on the other (the plot twist is its boba)

Ahh oh my GOD thank you for this ask! This is just what I needed, what a great setup. 👀🔥

(And thank you so much, I love your work too! 💖)

Pairings: Boba Fett x Din Djarin

Rated E, 1k words

Tags: Oral Sex, Teasing, tiny hint of Daddy!Boba 

I haven’t written BobaDin before but I am definitely a fan. I pretty much ship Din with anyone, I just want someone to show that boy some love! *slaps table*

This had been going on for days, and quite frankly, Boba had had enough. 

Yes, this was his fault, he could admit that to himself. He hadn’t meant to, but he had blown Din off. Not been there when the Razor Crest touched down on Tatooine. They had spent weeks apart, and he had fucked up their reunion by being wrapped up in Palace business, not knowing Din had been waiting for him.

When he had finally made it out, hours later, he was greeted coolly by the younger man.

“Been busy, Fett? That’s too bad.”

And nothing happened that night, or the nights since. 

They were both stubborn, and it had somehow turned into a test of wills, a test of dominance between them. They had been dancing around each other for days, light touches, the barest brushes of skin, both thinking the same thing. Who will crack first? 

Boba thinks he has this in the bag, that he has way more willpower than Din. And he does, in some areas. But he’d always had a warm body to fuck his frustrations out on when he needed to, never hesitating to find a willing partner when he felt the urge. 

That had changed, of course, when they met. But Boba hadn’t seen the years that Din spent traveling alone, how he had spent so long behind the armor that he had become touch-starved. A few days was nothing to Din, a blink of an eye. If anything, he was just getting started. 

—

Since then, their slow, torturous teasing has progressed to little touches, long looks, certain tones of voice. 

Hands brushed hips as they moved passed each other in a narrow corridor, Boba’s hands flexing in his gloves as Din’s ass pressed against his hips for the briefest moment.

The way Din sat a little straighter in the Throne room, watching as Boba lounged, his thighs spread wide, power rolling off him as he overlooked his kingdom from his Thone. How his gloved hand seemed to absently tap his thigh, a private invitation. 

Then, it was how they somehow got seated next to each other in a meeting, their knees knocking together under the table. How Din would address him only as “Fett”, with the smallest hint of a growl in his voice. The meeting dragged on for hours, with the heat of Din’s thigh pressing against his, fingers itching to move.  

It’s after this last moment that they find themselves in one of the dark, empty rooms used for storage, Boba kicking the door open from the empty hallway. His hands are pushing against Din’s chest as he walks him back, locking the door behind them with a loud click. 

Boba pushes the taller man against the back wall, hips pressing together as his hands work his own helmet. The room is full of quiet moans as he rocks his hips against Din, his buy’ce ending up on an empty shelf beside them.

His fingers tug at the high neck of Din’s cowl, exposing a strip of tanned skin. Boba’s mouth closes on the flesh, lips sucking a dark bruise that has Din’s mouth dropping open in a moan, voice distorting by the vocoder in his helmet.

Boba wishes they were really alone, back in his room, so he could remove the other man’s helmet and hear those moans straight from Din’s lips. So that he could make it up to him properly. 

Din holds his own, his hips rolling back as his hands lock around Boba’s back, pulling him closer against him and seeking friction with his thrusts. 

“You’re, ahh-” Din groans as Boba’s teeth nip at his neck, “You’re not fucking me in this closet.”

But Din’s hands are already working at Boba’s robes, gripping his stiff, aching length though the last layer of fabric. Then, it is skin on skin, the solid warmth of his hand wrapped around Boba’s cock and squeezing. 

But Boba’s hands have been working too, tugging up the flak jacket, palming the bulge of Din’s trousers, working the zipper of his flight suit down.

“There you are.” He breathes, taking Din’s cock in his hand at last. 

With an amused grunt, Din batters Boba’s hand away before his own hand wrapped around both of them, squeezing and pumping their velvety flesh together.

Boba’s hand came to cover Din’s, helping him, his thumb brushing across the dampened tip of the other man’s cock. The noise Din makes has Boba’s hips jerking in response, a low, needy whine that almost, almost sounds like the word “Buir” to his helmet-free ears. 

And with that, Boba is done for. 

A good warrior knows when to admit defeat. 

Carefully pulling back, Boba sinks slowly to his knees, ignoring the creaks of his armor - and probably from his joints - as he settles in front of the other man. His hands wrap Din’s cock, swollen and flushed and beautiful. The tip of his tongue peeks out as it sweeps over flushed skin, tasting the saltiness of his arousal, the taste of Din.

The sound of Din’s low groan fills the small room as Boba’s lips wrap around his length, tongue stroking his aching shaft. His forearm pushes on Din‘s lower abdomen, pinning him in place against the wall while his other hand works his own cock in tandem with the bobbing of his head. 

Din’s hands move to cup his neck, unable to thrust his hips thanks to Boba’s arm pressing against him. Instead, he cradles Boba’s head, words spilling like a river from his lips as he flexes needily against him. 

“Fuck.”

“Missed you, missed this.”

“You feel so good, don’t stop-”

“Ahh, Boba! I’m-”

Boba groans as the Mand’alor comes undone for him, shaking and moaning against the wall. His sounds mix with the lewd sounds of Boba’s hot mouth working him, taking all the man has to offer. Boba is following closely behind with a low grunt and rough flick of his wrist, spilling messily onto the floor.

He looks up, he can’t see his lover’s face but he can picture it. Pinched brows, his plush lips parted, those deep, beautiful brown eyes unfocused from pleasure, his messy curls brushing his forehead.

Boba smiles to himself. 

Maybe he should let Din win more often.

And they were just getting started. He had a lot more apologizing to do. 

[insufferablelust]

Hey I absolutely love you’re writing, and I love your writing style. can I request a Spencer Reid x sub!reader fic where she is out with him and his friends for dinner and she keeps teasing him infront of them and then he gets frustrated and punishes her in the restroom ? Can you include degradation,(name calling and dirty talking), choking and exhibitionism.

hi love! thank you so much for req, sorry it took me such a long time to get to it, i was in a bad place for couple of days. And i changed the settings a bit to fit the pictures in my imagination i hope you don’t mind. thank you once again, enjoy! and for those who have been patient enough for me to write their reqs, dont worry it’s all coming soon! MASTERLIST HERE!

WARNINGS : Dom!Spencer x Sub!Reader, Smut obvi, Fingering, no penetrative sex, Degradation by name calling, Exhibitionism, Pretty intense breath play by choking, Spankings, brat tamer-esque!spencer, bratty!reader, umm fluff??? thats it i think

You must admit that teasing Spencer wasn’t really your intention tonight, you really tried your best to behave especially after being so reckless going after an unsub alone without waiting for back up, but you got lucky and the unsub was caught. Although, Spencer still can’t help but to be mad at you, you were careless and he didn’t like that.

The entire jet was silent, mostly asleep except for you and Spencer. Right after you caught the unsub, Spencer pulled you into a secluded area far from prying ears of their teammates and scolded her, “You could’ve gotten yourself killed, Y/N?”

Then and there you should’ve known not to get bratty, should’ve just apologized and said that you were trying to save the girl but your adrenaline rush got the best of you, and that led you to gave him two things he hates most, an eye roll and remark, “Oh! give me a damn break! i saved the girl, and caught the asshole too, you’re so insufferable.”

He was taken aback of course, even you were too. Your lips trembled as you thought back to his face, there was a slight pain that crossed his eyes, but mostly you knew that deep down he knows you didn’t mean that. But does he? because right after that you two separated your ways to the jet up until now.

“Spencer..” You whispered, he sat opposite of you besides Alvez and you beside JJ. He looked up momentarily from his book before shaking his head and hold up one finger, oh great your dominant boyfriend is seething and he’s giving you a time out.

You pouted as you sank deeper into the seat, before reaching to tangle his legs with yours as a sign that you’re sorry. To your delight, he hummed, leaned forward and pat your knee— it was his way of saying “yes i’m not mad but that doesn’t mean you are out of punishment.” Then you fall asleep after that, drifted off to the thought of what he’ll do to you later.

—————

Spencer groaned lowly as he heard the team are planning a celebratory dinner after they had done their paperwork, it’s not that he hated his teammates, they’re his family after all. But right now, all he wanted was to leave bruises on Y/N and to make sure she had learned her lesson, he was so frustrated that his palm was twitching at the thought of her being so reckless like that.

He was pulled out of his thought when she tapped his shoulder, innocently batting her eyelash and leaned on his desk “Are we going tonight?” She nervously asked, eyes won’t meeting his directly which he frowned at. Gripping her wrist, “Y/N, look at me.”

Y/N instantly turned her head to him, eyes looking directly into his, before apologizing “I’m sorry.. sir i’m really sorry..” She muttered, dropping her head in shame that brought extreme sadness to him, instantly pulling her into a hug and cradled her. “Shh, i know you wanted to save her but that was careless, can’t go running around and risk your life like that.” He wasn’t a fan of PDA but when he needs to show you what he meant, he’ll do it even if he has to show bits of their romantic life.

“I know, that’s why i’m sorry.” She pouted up at him, earning a soft smile and a kiss on the lips. “Lovebirds, you two coming?” You heard Rossi snickered beside you, as you blushed and looked up at your boyfriend for answer,

“Yeah, yeah we’re coming.”

Oh how wonderful, your bratty little mind thought.

——————

During the entire ride to the restaurant, you and Spencer engaged in small conversations mainly about how weird New York was when you seen it last, and pointing similarities about stuff. It was all fun and good until your hand started to creep up on his thigh, fingertips dancing against the fabric of his pants. He didn’t pay you any mind at first, no he thought you were just being touchy feely with him.

Oh but that changes quickly when your fingers ghosted over his clothed crotch, earning herself a warning from him, “Y/N.” Your eyes peered at his as you grinned, hands still running up and down his thigh sometimes getting closer to his crotch.

“Yes, Doctor?”

There it is, she has drank the poison and now she’ll deal with the consequences.

————

Throughout the dinner Y/N kept on continuing her devious acts, brushing his calf, running her fingertips directly on his crotch, moaning at the taste of the dessert, and even go as far as whispering stuff on his ear, stuff that made him itch to bend her over the table.

The first warning she received from him was a tap on her knees and a slide glance, then she shrugged and brushed it off. The second warning weren’t so kind, he had shoved her palms below her thighs and knead her thigh with his nails with a low drawl “Y/N..” She whimpered then and promised she won’t do it again, and he believed her, only because he knew they were getting suspicious.

Oh but the next time Y/N teased her boyfriend, was the last time she will ever sit nicely in awhile, Spencer saw red, tugging on her wrist as he bids farewell to their teammates, saying stuff like “We have an appointment tomorrow.” Not really caring on how they took it.

Y/N felt the insides of her belly swarmed with butterflies and intense warmth, as his bruising grip tighten around her wrist— making an indent on her skin. They stormed outside and went to their car while Spencer pushed her against it and wrap his hand around her throat, gripping ever so tightly— making sure his fingertips were on the very pulse.

“You’ve been testing me the whole day and night, you mindless little brat. I’ve had enough of your reckless behavior and attitude. If a punishment is what you want, then a punishment is what you’re going to get, but don’t fucking cry out when i make you writhe in pain.” He muses on her ear, whilst she nod desperately, trying to find enough oxygen, “P-please..” Her eyes watered as he pressed his knee right between her legs and then release her throat, watching her gasping for breath.

“Turn around.” He demanded, she instantly obliged not wanting to damage the situation anymore. Spencer pushed her against the car and one hand around her neck, the other slip his hand under her dress to squeeze her ass tightly, then leaned in to whisper “You look so pathetic you know that? we’re in a restaurant parking lot and yet you never told me to stop. Do you want me to punish you here? where everyone can see what a nasty mindless brats get when they act recklessly?”

All she can do is moan as she grind harder against his knee, whilst holding onto him with dear life. “Get in the back seat.” He ordered, taking a step back from her so she could get in and climb in after her.

“Over my lap.” He demanded, all Y/N could do now is to oblige everything he said, not more not less so she laid ass up over his lap and then brace herself as she felt the roughness of his palms against her ass— dress yanked up long ago.

“How many, princess?” He ask condescendingly, fingers gripping her hair tightly as she moaned out loud when his other hand graze against her covered cunt. “as many as you want, sir.” she choked out, which seemed to please him judging by how he hummed to the tone.

“We’ll do 20, with different intensity. What’s your safe word?” That warmed her heart, even if he’s mad, he never forgets how important communication, safety, and comfort is. “Lilac.”

“Good girl, shh i don’t wanna head anything coming out of that mouth unless its to count, safe word, or thank me. Understand?” It was a trick question, normally she would answered but then she remembered it’s not allowed so she looked back at him and nodded sweetly.

That seemed to both please him and make him the more eager, he delivered the first slap making her broken out a cry “O-One! Sir thank you!” He took a deep breath before slapping her covered ass once again earning more broken sobs and moans.

By the time they reached 15, her ass was so sore, yet the burn intensified everything, her soaked panty could agree. She was soaked through. “5 more, minx. Come on don’t be pathetic now.” His tone made her shivered, she sucked on his thumb preparing herself for the last five.

“Oh fuck! 20! thank you please no more...” Y/N cried out as she sob into the leather seat, her covered ass was burning, his handprint left her squirming on his grip as he soothe her, gently tugging her hair up, turn her around so her head is laid on his lap.

“Shh.. it’s over now, baby. You’re okay.” He rub her tummy as she evened out her breathing, eyes looking up at his, even through the darkness of the car he still looks dashing. “T-Thank you for teaching me a lesson.. i’m sorry i was a brat..” Her voice was barely above whisper which meant she was deep in her subspace, which made Spencer becomes more protective of her.

“It’s okay bunny. You did great, i’m not mad at you.” He whispered, his hands that were on her tummy trailed down slowly before slipping it inside her panties, he gently graze his fingertips on her labia, feeling it soaking with absolute need.

“Oh princess, look at you.. Soaked hm? you really love being taught a lesson didn’t you?” his fingers slowly rub circles on her clit, pressing on it with enough force that it made her shudder to no end, her moans were loud.

“Spencer.. please!”

“What do you want, baby?” Spencer chuckled, using his palm to rub her sensitive nub as his fingers brushes ever so slightly against her opening, smearing the sweet nectar all over her cunt.

“Fuck me, Dr.Reid..” She groaned, using the last bit of bratty-ness left in her, her hips bucking as he hold her neck with one hand and finger her cunt with the other.

“You never learn do you? you desperate needy little baby.” His mocking tone turned her on like nothing else, trails of ‘uh uh uh’s left her mouth and her hips keeps on grinding upwards, leaving Spencer no choice but to clamp his hand on her neck and muttered lowly, “You won’t get my cock tonight so don’t bother to ask. If you don’t behave, i won’t let you cum for weeks, i will edge you during those weeks, giving you ruined orgasms, and make your life a living hell. So if you still want that orgasm you crave, stop fucking squirming.” His words might as well make her orgasm, the way he commanded her, owned her— just the biggest turn on of her life.

When her eyes watered, he released her neck then continue to finger fuck her with force, so much force that she can’t help it but to scream. “Oh! S-Spencer! i’m going— may i cum sir?”

“Hold it.” He ordered sternly, his palm grazing against her clit, giving her the umpteenth intense pleasure of the night. She tried so hard not to cum, but the need still outweighs her desire to not disobey her boyfriend. “P-Please.. Cant.. cant oh god..”

“Now, cum now pet.. go on.” Her eyes snapped shut at his command making sure to moan out strings of ‘thank you sir! thank you’ when she came all over his fingers, practically soaking the expensive leather as well as her dress. He worked her through her high, before drawing his fingers out when she flinched due to sensitivity.

Y/N’s eyes opened slowly to find him smiling looking down at her which she returned. Spencer pressed his wet fingers on top of her lips, she greedily suck on it, making him groan. “Fuck love, do you know that you made me bust in my pants?”

You released his fingers, eyes widen “What? Really?”

“See it for yourself, you brat.” He scoffed, seeing her turned her head to looked at the mess on his crotch which made her sit up in excitement, and smiles. “But when?!”

“The moment you came, you look so gorgeous i cant help but to cum.” He whispered, his cheeks warm with a hint of flushness which made her giggle. “oh wow the effect i have on you...”

“Y/N i swear to god, i’ve had enough of your brattiness for one night.” Earning a laugh from her, he shakes his head, before cleaning them both with the tissues and sprayed the car with disinfectant which made Y/N laugh loudly,

“What a genius germphobe.” She teased, which made his head turned to her side and glared.

“Okay okay! i won’t tease...” She bit her tongue at the last part before muttering a seductive “Doctor...”

“That’s it! No cumming for a month.”

“No Spencer!”

“Nope.”

You really do love being a brat.

—————————

SORRY THIS SUCKED IM NOT FEELING WELL SHSKSK, anyways requests still open so send them away! thank you for supporting.

[rodeoxqueen]

SMELLS LIKE QUARAN-NEROKIRI SPIRIT 

Nero/Kyrie

“In quarantine, Nero and Kyrie spend time together.” 

Rodeo’s Two Pieces: 

First time writing for Nero/Kyrie. Tread lightly with my take of their dynamic. 

(I)- Dalgona Coffee and Cookies. 

Despite how everything was shut down and the grocery was found vacant of basic necessities, Nero was grateful to at least be with someone he loved the most. 

“Look, we probably need some time off from kickin’ demon ass anyways,” Nico explained, smoking a cigarette during the video chat. 

“Yeah, not like demons care about being six feet away. People don’t even do that.” Nero looked at himself in the little square in the corner of his phone. Clad in a grey hoodie, he hadn’t even bothered putting on anything over his boxers. No one had come to visit since the mandate to stay inside, what was the point? 

Nico was in her garage again, from what he could see in the camera view. Cigarettes and old cups of coffee littered her desk, warbled country music playing off-view. 

“Who knows, maybe I’ll make something to fix that. I was thinking a mask-gun, rapid-fire reloading.” 

“Artisan of Arms, huh?” Nero laughed, getting up from his bed. 

“You fuckin’ bet. Now I gotta go. Got some things to weld.” 

“See ya, Nico. Stay safe, alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He gave a peace sign before pressing “end video call.” 

The video chat ended and Nero tucked his phone into his pocket. Even banter just wasn’t the same virtually. 

“Who was that? Nico?” Nero made it down the hallway to see Kyrie, bustling about getting things from the cupboards. 

“Yeah, still building stuff as usual.” 

Kyrie had been in their apartment’s kitchen, deciding to try her hand at some recipes she saw online. A bag of flour, too many bowls, and more chocolate than Nero remembered buying, all laid out on the table. 

Just when he wanted something to eat, he’d have to wait or his girlfriend would practically make enough to feed an army and be surprised when he didn’t want anymore. 

He opted for a cup of water instead. 

Nero admired her hair, how it looked when it wasn’t in a ponytail, how it sat perfectly on her shoulders. Seeing how she started to measure some ingredients, he took the hair tie on his wrist, careful fingers bringing it into a low ponytail. 

“Oh, thank you.” She commented, opening her booklet of recipes she had handwritten. Neat, slanted cursive in a smattering of blue, red, and black read out recipes for cookies, cakes, and bread. 

“You look busy, planning to make all of those?” Nero rested his chin on her shoulder, shrouding her with warmth. 

“Well, I don’t know how long we’re going to be stuck at home, might as well try some recipes out. Maybe we can deliver some to the orphanage.” 

“That is if I don’t eat all your prototypes first.” She laughed, birdsong to Nero’s ears. 

“As long as you help me I don’t mind if you do.” Kyrie handed him a measuring cup. Nero sighed, taking it. He always lost count of how many cups of flour he was supposed to put in the bowl. 

A jar of porous dough caught his eye as he sifted some baking soda in his white mixture. He took it from Kyrie’s side of the island. 

“Whoa, what is this? A science experiment?” Kyrie chuckled, watching Nero scrutinize the date on the white tape to the top of the mason jar. 

“No, it’s a sourdough starter! It’s basically wild yeast. We can make bread with it since people bought out all the dry yeast in the grocery store.” 

Nero shook it with curiosity and then opened the silver lid, making an “eh” face at the smell. 

“It’s yeast alright.” 

Kyrie continued whipping up the sugar and butter mixture, Nero helping himself to a handful of chocolate chips. 

“Have you talked to your uncle and father? They must be staying at the shop in Redgrave.” 

Nero shrugged. 

“Most likely, I haven’t talked to them yet. Dante probably didn’t pay the phone bill and Vergil doesn’t know how to use the phone anyways.” 

“Let’s just hope they’re getting along during this time.” 

Nero thought back to all the “family outings” he had since his uncle and father returned from hell, mostly just jobs becoming contests of strength that turned to friendly family fights. Endless banter and elbowing. 

Honestly, compared to that, standing next to his girlfriend while they shaped cookies for the oven was heaven. 

Once the chocolate chip cookie dough was done baking, Kyrie insisted they make some whipped coffee while they cooled.  

“I thought you didn’t like coffee, Kyrie.” She stooped down to find something in the lower cabinets. A robotic hand that was colored dark blue and black, his old Devil Bringer, appeared with a tiny whisk duct-taped to it. 

“Yeah, but that TikTok made it look so good.” Nero handed her the glass container of instant coffee. 

Turning on the Devil Bringer, the tiny whisk spun to life, rapidly mixing sugar, coffee, and water together. With her back turned, Nero popped a thing of cookie dough in his mouth. 

“Honestly, Nico should have patented these Devil Bringers, make a bunch of money, and maybe she’d stop trying to rip me off all those times.” 

“Support local businesses, Nero.” 

He looked over her shoulder, surprised at how an abysmal brown mixture had become fluffy and thrice its previous volume. 

Two cups of milk poured, the practically instantly whipped coffee laid on top like a decadent Mount Everest next to a still-warm plate of cookies. 

“Cheers!” Kyrie clinked glasses with him, stirring her mug vigorously with a spoon. He copied her, taking a sip of surprisingly light and sweet coffee. 

When he lowered his cup, Nero both revealed to the world a mustache of whipped coffee. 

Kyrie snorted into her cup, covering her mouth as she bit back a laugh. Embarrassed, Nero went to wipe it off when Kyrie pecked him on the lips. She drew back to reveal an imprint of the ‘stache on her own upper lip. 

“We match now.” Kyrie giggled, helping herself to another gooey cookie. 

Half a plate of cookies and two mugs properly drained of its contents, Kyrie and Nero loaded up the dishwasher to do the work. 

“This is coffee, why am I tired?” Kyrie yawned. 

The couch was this god-awful IKEA purchase that took hours for Nero to just figure out what the instructions meant. But right now, it perfectly supported both of them while they slept away their food coma. 

(II)- Curl Up And Dye. 

After the second time the mandate got lengthened, Nero could sense that Kyrie was starting to wane in her ever-positive attitude. The news had nothing good to say, and the number of shows they had binged left them indifferent to watching anything more. 

They did a lot of singing during quarantine, Kyrie always being the musical one. Evanescence was one of their favorites to sing together, Nero’s guitar skills and Kyrie’s ability to hit those high notes left many memorable nights of laughter. 

After a while, Kyrie began to just sit on the couch a lot and have Nero pay her company. 

“What’s wrong?” Kyrie sighed heavily, curling into Nero’s hoodie as he opted to stay shirtless. 

“I don’t know Nero, it just feels like everything is the same. We go through the same things every day and I just feel...trapped.” 

Nero kissed the nape of her neck, humming in agreement. 

“Look, I’m usually the one going to you for stuff like this but...it will get better. It’s been a really hard time for all of us, and we’re just watching everything go downhill. It’s not a good situation but, you got me. Always. And there’s still a lot of things we can change up if that helps.” He stroked her hair and rubbed her back, feeling her take a deep breath. 

“You’re right Nero. That really did help. Thank you for listening.” 

“Of course.” 

While he scrolled on his own phone, he didn’t heed all the things Kyrie was watching. She touched her own long hair, seeing the way other people recorded their own home-salon trims. 

“Things to change, huh?” She mumbled. 

So here they were now. 

“It looks so bad!” Kyrie exclaimed, her face in her hands, hair on the bathroom sink. Nero shook his head. 

“No it’s not, Kyrie! You look fine, just let me fix it!” In the mirror, Nero cringed at the way her hair was ridiculously over-layered. 

“Um, what did you try to do-” 

“Curtain bangs! Oh Nero, I shouldn’t have tried to change up my hair!” Kyrie was thoroughly upset, seeing how her bout of bravery lead to her bangs being mauled by her own hands. 

Nero hugged her, noting that she had been wearing his shirt while she trimmed her hair. 

Okay that shirt’s gonna itch for a while until all the hair comes out. 

“It’s okay, let me see if I can fix it.” Kyrie blushed in the mirror, groaning at how bad her hair was cut. 

“There’s no way you could make it worse than what I did.” 

Nero gingerly took the scissors Kyrie put in the sink, a little bit too small for his hands but good enough. Although he was no stylist, he could tell where Kyrie had either cut too much off or unevenly. 

Eventually, they did manage to cut it in a way that hid the previous mistakes. Kyrie took another deep breath. 

“I shouldn’t have been so impulsive.” She murmured, arms crossed. 

Nero chuckled at her rare emotional outburst. He was glad to have been able to be there for her. She always hid how she felt, helping others her way of expressing herself. Now with no one around but him, he totally understood that she felt helpless. 

No one liked being helpless. 

He kissed her cheek and a lightbulb went off in his head. 

“You wanna dye my hair?” Kyrie turned around in surprise. 

“What?” 

“I mean, who knows how long this shutdown is gonna be, it’ll be fun,” Kyrie noted how Nero had forgone shaving, his peach fuzz becoming something more. 

Honest blue eyes peered at her, wondering what she would think. Her surprise softened to a sort of relief in their solidarity. 

“What color, Nero?” 

“Neon green-” 

“Nico’s going to make fun of you.” Kyrie giggled. Nero shrugged nonchalantly. 

“I don’t mind it.” 

(III)- Can’t Get Out Of It, Get Into It. 

“Nero, you look so fucking ridiculous.” 

“Shut up, Dante.” 

His uncle finally managed to figure out how to work the virtual chat on his fossil of a computer, and Nero was already prepared to end the call. 

His father sat slightly off-camera, not in the mood to entertain Dante’s antics to ridicule his son. Although, he did look oddly radioactive with his washed-out green hair and strong quarter-past five o’clock shadow.  

“Quarantine did not do you a favor, good lord,” Dante commented, kicking his feet up on his desk. Nero flipped him off. 

“Good to know you’re still living in shambles, not surprised neither of you cleaned up after yourselves.” The number of bottles on the floor was a travesty and the couch littered with poetry books Vergil had slowly begun to hoard. 

Nico entered the zoom call, smoking another cigarette Nero was lucky to not have to smell. 

“Nice broccoli head.” 

Nero flipped her off as well. Kyrie came into view, smiling at her boyfriend’s family and their shared friends. Nero decided to get a drink, clicking a few buttons before letting Kyrie have the seat. 

As they discussed how the business would continue with Devil May Cry, Kyrie sat next to Nero. 

It was mainly business, until it got to a certain line that Dante said. 

“I don’t know, it just feels like things are just going to keep staying like this. Hate to break it to you Nero, but it’s going to be tough for a while.” 

Kyrie finally heard enough, scooching Nero aside so she could talk. 

“Kyrie, wait-” 

“We’re going to get past this. As long as humanity still keeps coming together for the sake of benefiting each other, and we keep working to make sure to keep safe, we will get past this. We just have to keep hoping, and sure, hoping isn’t always going to make you feel better. I would know. But in a time where we do feel helpless, we should connect with other people in a different way. That’s why we succeed, we keep moving, we keep adapting! And hope, hope keeps that going.” 

Kyrie took a long breath. Looking at the dumbfounded group, she waited for a response. 

“Um, Kyrie. You were muted.” Nero finally said. Kyrie realized her blunder and how Nero’s hand was attempting to unmute them. 

“Oh.” Kyrie flushed, looking embarrassed. 

“I have no idea what you just said, but that’s okay.” 

“I’m sorry, that was so awkward.” 

“Don’t worry yourself, Kyrie. I bet it was real sweet whatever you had to say,” Nico assured. 

The zoom call was full of laughter since, a business call turned to a time to discuss how each person was doing. 

Dante and Vergil had spent days and nights sparring, Vergil learning more about humanity from Dante, and “making their own pizzas.” 

Nico had continued welding and making weapons for her own curiosity rather than based off of commission-based instructions. The van finally had the vinyl player fixed and she apparently gave herself a stick-and-poke. 

“So what did you two love birds do?” Nico asked, lighting another cancer stick. 

Nero and Kyrie looked at each other, smiling at their shared memories of this strange period in human history. 

“Where do we even start?”  Kyrie said, thinking of all the days and nights that seemed to breeze by and also slowly progress. 

Nero ruffled his longer messy green hair, Kyrie tucking her curtain bangs behind her ear. As they were two peas in the pod, Nero had decided to get another set of gray sweats for Kyrie, matching finally. 

Kyrie bit into a cookie, offering Nero some. 

“Smells like quarantine spirit, huh?” Dante finger-gunned.

Nero chuckled. 

“Hell yeah.” 

[adhdeancas]

Dean Winchester (and the script leaks last night) possessed me to write this.

Dean happens upon Chuck's latest book: Carry On. Except it ends differently than it really went, and the ending? It's really fucking bad.

tw: suicide mention, transphobia (quickly shut the fuck down) 

Dean doesn’t make a habit of going to bookstores. Not because he hates books, contrary to what Sam might think; he just prefers to buy used books. There’s something comforting about a book that has already been worn and read over and over, that already shows how much the previous owner loved it. Plus, y’know, big corporations are evil and all that. And Dean only allows himself to overlook that when his stomach or his wallet wins over his hatred of the shitty mass-produced products. 

This time it was Jack who won; he’s obsessed with this new fantasy series and the new book just came out, so there’s no way he can hunt it down on Ebay. He makes his way to the fantasy and sci-fi section, eyes roaming over the displays of new releases, and his eye catches on something that turns his blood cold. 

“Supernatural: Carry On, The Final Book of the Winchesters’ Epic Journey” takes up a whole table, the generic and overly serious cover jeering out at him. 

He storms over to the display, anger covering up for the way his body feels light as a feather and like lead all at once, and picks up a book. “Why is Sam always fucking shirtless?” he mutters, the only thought that allows itself from the mess inside his head to his mouth. 

“Book sales.” A voice behind him says. He turns to see a teenager with their arms crossed over their work polo, pierced lip fixed into a customer-unfriendly frown.

“People want to see that?”

They snort, a small grin turning up the corner of their lips. It reminds Dean of Cas. “No. But that’s what advertisers think all ‘women’ want,” They use air quotes. 

He raises an eyebrow and asks. “Women?”

They shrug and uncross their arms, leaning back against the display table behind them. Their nametag says Jadyn. “Supernatural’s biggest block of readers is queer. I’d go out on a limb and say a lot of those the marketers think of as ‘women’ aren’t, or if they are, they aren’t itching to see Sam’s six pack.” Jadyn smirks. 

Dean takes a second to digest that, then grins down at the book, thinking past Sam’s apparently badly-received nudity now. “So how’d they like it?” he asks, waving the book a bit and looking up at Jadyn. Apparently they know a lot about the fans of the books, and for once, he’s proud of the way the story ended. 

Jadyn’s face sets into all hard lines. “Most people fucking hated it.” they say bluntly, then, probably remembering that he’s a customer, correct. “Sorry. I mean, it got some good reviews, mostly from people who like Wincest, but beyond that, it had some problematic plot points.”

Dean winces at the reminder of the ship between him and his brother, then scrunches his whole face together in confusion. “Wait, what? Why?” Why would Wincest fans like it? What was problematic about their end?

Jadyn shifts from foot to foot. “I don’t wanna spoil anything for you-”

“I don’t care about spoilers, just give me the short version.” Dean says quickly. A quiet panic is rising in him, and suddenly he has a horrible feeling that he’s not holding the truth in his hands anymore. 

“Uh, okay… Well, the most obvious thing is the bury-your-gays thing, then there’s the fact that it completely contradicted the rest of the lore. And it was ableist, misogynistic, and messed up, like, every character’s arc.” they take a breath, clearly worked up by it. “Even if they changed any of the details too, it was all built on Dean’s death, and that’s just bullshit. Sorry.” they apologize again, apparently mistaking Dean’s stricken expression to be in reaction to their rant and swearing. 

“No, nah, you’re… you’re okay. Uh, thanks.” he waves a hand and wanders away from them, only remembering Jack’s book when he’s almost to the register. He manages to make his way back and find the damn thing, but he’s still in a fog when he gets to the register. 

“Did anyone help you in the store today?”

“Huh?” he looks up and meets the middle-aged cashier’s gaze for the first time. Brent, from the nametag, looks at him impatiently. “Oh, yeah, uh… Jadyn. Jadyn helped me.” Brent scoffs and starts typing with a shake of the head. “Uh, is there a problem?” Dean asks, a little annoyed at this cashier’s unnecessary attitude. He usually doesn’t care if an employee’s rude, because they have to deal with assholes all the time and honestly Dean isn’t much better, but this one gives him a bad feeling. 

“No, no, sorry. It’s just - “Jadyn’s” got this idea that he’s a girl. Makes everybody call him that name now too. Just-” Brent shakes his head. “I mean, you get it. Their generation, everybody wants to be special.”

Dean glares. “No, I don’t get it, Brent.” He says through gritted teeth. “Seems to me like Jadyn probably deals with enough assholes like you that her asking for a little basic decency is the exact opposite of special. Sounds pretty normal, actually.” He can see the fear creep into Brent’s eyes, and he knows the cashier is reacting to the murderous look in his eyes more than his actual words. 

Brent hands Dean his bag of books with a quiet, “Here you go.”

Dean snatches it away. “Oh, Brent?” he checks over his shoulder to make sure they’re alone and then leans across the counter into Brent’s space. “You should find a new job, one where you don’t have to interact with other people. At least until you learn how to stop being a piece of shit.” He starts to ease away but thinks better about it. “And if you think that’s a suggestion, it’s not. My husband likes this book coming out next month that I’ll need to buy, and if I see you here when I come, well… it would be really embarrassing for you to tell all your little friends that you got your ass beat by a ‘special’ guy, huh?” He pats Brent on the cheek condescendingly and leaves with a huff. 

Damn transphobes. 

He only remembers the book once he’s back in Baby, and he takes the time to drive out of town before he pulls over to read it. It’s an old abandoned church, the cross long since fallen from the roof and the doors hanging off their hinges. He sits on the steps just because being in Baby seems claustrophobic for once in his life, and going back to the bunker to look at this is just… not happening.

Dean only skims the beginning to see that it starts the same. The ground erupting with bodies, hell spitting out its most-conveniently placed nasties, Rowena sacrificing herself, Cas leaving. His throat closes up at that, at Chuck’s description of Cas’s heartbroken expression as he climbs the stairs of the bunker. He clears his throat and skips to the end, right past Cas’s death that he doesn’t have the time to think about right now, past them defeating Chuck and then stops. He goes back a few pages, trying to find the disconnect. 

The story’s different.

After Jack takes on God’s power, in the book, he’s totally fine. Not almost vibrating out of his skin or anything, not crying like the three year old he is because he’s scared. Not like it really happened. He just smiles and leaves him and Sam, and they let him go. 

Dean scoffs, skimming over the story as it just gets more ridiculous. 

In the book, he doesn’t even try to save Cas. They barely even mention him. And they never mention Eileen, either. In fact, Dean notes disbelievingly, practically the only characters in the last few chapters are him and Sam. They’re hunting again.

“What, is Chuck trying to keep the series going?” he whispers to himself, anger flaring through him. They let Chuck live, and he decided to write obnoxious fanfiction about them? He’s gonna kill that shameless little fucker. For real, this time. He deserves it.

In the book, Sam and Dean torture some vampire mime, and they enjoy it. Dean cringes; this is really what Chuck thinks of them. Then they tussle with more vamps in a barn and- 

Dean’s brain stops working. He rereads the scene again and again. 

“There’s something in my… something in my back. It feels like it’s right through me.” 

Dean Winchester dies in a dirty barn, on a piece of freaking rebar. 

More than that, Dean realizes on his fourth read-through. This Dean? He tried to drag out his speech, Dean can tell by the way he pauses for fucking drama. He would never do that. He would never talk to Sam for fifteen hellish minutes when he could be trying. Trying to live, so he can actually get his life back on track, get his family back. No, he made that speech stalling. He made that speech so Sam wouldn’t try to save him. 

“You gotta admit, I had one helluva ride.” He was strangely calm.

Chuck made him kill himself.

Dean reads the rest of the book through blurry eyes, reading an ambiguous and nothing-ending, one where he’s somehow happy to be dead and driving around in heaven alone while Sam raises a kid into hunting and cries about Dean decades after he’s died. Eileen isn’t mentioned. Cas is mentioned once, and Bizzarro-Dean doesn’t even think about seeing him, apparently. The whole book ends with a hug between him and Sam, both dead. Both alone. 

Dean rips the ending up. He tears through the stupid paper covering and keeps ripping the pages up until they’re the size of confetti. His lower lip wobbles. He throws the whole thing against the side of the building, and it tumbles through the broken doorway and drops into a pile of dust and dirt. “That isn’t the fucking ending.” he grounds out, knocking his hand against the flimsy handrail. It gives a little under his fist and he kicks at it. “That isn’t the fucking ending!”

He’s having a panic attack. Again. He tries to take deep breaths, but they’re gulping, too big, they’re making him panic more. He scrambles back to Baby and grabs his phone, presses the first number on his favorites list and waits for him to answer on speaker phone.

“Hey Dean, what’s up?” Sam sounds like he’s been laughing. There are voices in the background, and Dean tries to convince himself one of them is Eileen. 

“Hey Sammy.” he chokes out, trying to sound normal. “You busy?”

There’s a pause, and then the sounds in the background. “Nah, Rowena’s just over.” he says casually. 

“So those voices in the background were-”

“Rowena and Eileen, yeah. They’re trying to convince me we need to go to Mexico. For the beaches.” A smile in his voice. Dean lets out a sigh of relief.  What’s up, Dean? You need something?” The smile drops, and Sam’s worried. 

Sam’s okay. Sam’s okay. “No, nah. Hey, you heard from Donna lately?” Dean just needs to triple-check.

“Uh, no, not since Sunday dinner… Dean, you okay?”

“Yeah, she just- she hasn’t been answering my texts. Just wanted to make sure.” Dean lies quickly. His breathing is still uneven, but his body is settling into uneven shakes. 

Sam sounds skeptical. “Yeah, well, she did tell us it’s been pretty busy at work lately. Y’know, everybody going out for the first time with COVID, getting stupid. Plus, y’know, nowhere’s drowning in EMTs right now.”

“Right. Yeah.” Dean takes a deep breath, a distant memory of Donna talking about that coming back to him.

“Pretty sure you were setting up a D&D session with Charlie while she was talking about that,” Sam laughs. Dean knows he means it as a subtle jab, but there’s too much relief flooding through him to care. Still, a string is pulled taut in him, and Sam can’t fix that completely.

“Gotta go, Sam,” Dean hangs up before Sam can say anything else, and goes to his next contact. It rings for far too long, and Dean’s heartbeat picks back up to thundering.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Cas,” Dean breathes out. “Cas, you know I love you, right?” He needs to test all the bounds of this, to make sure, just to make sure. Make sure Chuck isn’t still fucking with him. Because apparently, Chuck won’t let him be queer. Not in his story. Not out loud.

He can hear Cas’s eyebrow raise through the phone, and his chest is overcome with stupid fondness. “I would be a little worried if you didn’t.”

Dean grins widely. “Like, romantically. I’m in love with you. Because you’re the love of my life and I’m bisexual.” He says it all like it’s a checklist, like he expects some cosmic being to slap a hand over his mouth before he gets each next phrase out.

“Yes, Dean. We’ve been married almost two months.” Cas is smiling. It happens everytime he talks about their wedding. Dean adores it. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, now it is.” His whole body relaxes, still vibrating with leftover panic, but satisfied. “I got Jack’s book.”

“Oh, good. He’ll be so pleased.” Cas pauses. “Dean, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Dean eases off the ground and sends a last look at the dilapidated church before climbing into Baby. “Just- read a bad book. I’ll tell you about it later. When I get home.”

[collisiondiscourse]

i have decided i am now going to blow up your inbox bc i csn i’m sorry codi focnnf

b u t!! anyway i’m going to rambling abt my new dad for all au [whixh was the au i sent you that ask abt]

alrighty so all might is now midoriya’s dad. that’s a thing. i like to think that inko and toshinori were high school sweethearts who broke up after graduation but met again when all might was called to recuse some hostages and inko was one of them!! anywho all might recuses her, they go on a coffee date, realize they’re still in love and start again

they get married and have izuku, who keeps inko’s maiden name [midoriya is now inko’s maiden name bc i do what i want]. he’s the cutest baby who has inko’s green hair, but has one blue and one green eye! [these are /important/] inko and all might talk abt maybe giving izuku all for one when he’s older, but they decide against it bc they don’t know if he’ll have a quirk or not

spoiler!! bitch baby has a quirk!! he gets a quirk that’s so much different than inko’s quirk and !!! ahhh!!! the basic explanation is that all might’s all of one genes mixed and then “corrupt” inko’s like 3 generation quirk-having genes or smth and izu has a very, very complex quirk now. it’s called astron, and astron allows him to fucking astral project into the center of the university and shit chxnc

astron works two different ways: using his blue eye he can project other people into his own personal astral plane and do whatever he wants. while the person’s physical body is still where it was, their mind is in the astral plane. if he uses his green eye, he can project himself to his astral plane and fuck around without consequences!!

[there’s an untold third ability of astron using both of his eyes, but izuku tried doing that when he first got his quirk and immediately fell into a coma for like a month? it was bad and his mind couldn’t handle the stress and dipped lol]

ANYWAY, izuku grows up with a bomb ass quirk and still has his kacchan with him thru his childhood so things are a lot different than canon? the wonder duo are little shitheads together and i love them, they wreck havoc and i love them

i have more ideas for this story but this is all i have for now, codi this is so long i’m sorry i’m blowing up ur inbox 🥺😭

me opening my askbox and seeing the length of this au: holy shit

me reading the actual whole au: HOLY SHIT

AJ I LOVE THIS HIGHKEY!!! I LOVE THE IDEA OF OP DEKU W A FUCKED UP QUIRK JUST TERRIFYING EVERYONE HE COMES ACROSS!!!! heterochromia is SO so good as a character design element and i LOVE THE WAY THIS IS IMPLEMENTED YELLS. I WANNA DRAW THIS SO BAD!!! THIS LOOKS SO COOL

(serious writing/plot below - blood and vomit mention)

oh god and now im imagining deku like. being this extremely feral and annoying lil shit whos extremely powerful and now bakugous got someone on his level so hes a lot more humble as hes growing up but also him and deku are the?? BESTEST OF FRIENDS. and i imagine when bakugou is being a little shit deku just. astral projects him out of his body for a while and apologizes to whoever kacchan yelled at LMFAO---bakugou comes back to his body and is all like “....fucks sake stop doing that”

AND THEN omfgkjfds imagine morally grey deku who does whatever he can to win?? he knew he wouldnt get into UAs hero course fair and square (all might offered him a recommendation but he declined because he wanted to get there on his own with kacchan) because robots didnt have souls he could astral project so he practices his quirks limits like YEARS prior and he tells bakugou about it but never rlly shows him but on the day of the entrance exam?

he shows up. everything goes as normal and he finishes the written exams and then moves on to the practical exam (still seperated from kacchan like in canon) and like. Every one goes dashing forward and deku doesnt really try to beat anyone. He waits until theyre all in the center engaging with robots when he walks to the center of the room.

and he sees the zero pointer in the distance.

“THE ZERO-POINTER’S HERE!” He yells and points at the gigantic mech heading their way. All at once everyone’s heads whip up to catch sight of the robot, enraptured by its sheer size and power. 

As they all look to one direction, Deku makes eye contact with them and smiles.

All at once, every single participant in the area goes limp. Astron throws their souls into the astral plane with little fanfare and everyone watches in awe and annoyance as their bodies uselessly crumple to the ground from the outside. The green-haired boy is suddenly given free reigns of the arena and they seethe as one by one he deactivates or disables robots that were once under their purview.

(What some of the smarter ones notice however, is the way he seems to be leaving some stray 3 pointers untouched... almost as if he was doing the calculations in his head as he goes... on how to ensure the number one spot while others can still score points...?)

One by one however, they start struggling and reaching to reconnect with their bodies. Their gleaming bright souls bob up and down with frenzied energy and Deku feels it. He feels it like itches on his skin and goosebumps that turn into hills that dance up and down his back. He feels it like he feels his limit reaching.

Its still around 10 minutes though before he actually loses control and everyone comes back to their bodies. His quirk times out and almost like its angry, the astral plane takes his body in exchange for the dozens he kept in there. He gets sucked through and passes out while everyone else runs and destroys the remaining bots. It doesn’t matter though, because he knows he’s racked up enough points to stay on top. He lets himself rest and observes the blue-haired tall guy with engines who contemplates carrying Deku’s body to safety.

Until, he sees her.

Just under some rubble and very close to getting crushed by the Zero-Pointer’s foot, Deku spots a brown-haired young girl that he recalls has some kind of floating quirk. He sees as everyone runs past her, prioritizing their own safety instead of hers.

He makes a decision.

Quickly--recklessly, a familiar gruff voice says in his ear--he forces himself back into his body and looks around. He runs to the girl and attempts to dig her out from the rubble before she gets crushed. The robot comes ever closer.

Using the little strength and flexibility he’s learnt from years of sparring with Kacchan, Deku abandons her in favor of climbing up the broken concrete and metal to meet the robot’s visor. He knows he won’t save her by digging her out of there, but by god is he gonna let her get injured without a fight. These robots weren’t designed to kill, but they were designed to destroy.

Focus. Focus and listen to what’s around you, Izu-kun.

The world around him reduces to tunnel-vision and suddenly Deku is face to face with the Zero-Pointer. It stops, as if calculating how to discard of Deku without hurting him severely with its own strength.

Everything has life in it. You only need to focus and look for it.

Izuku Midoriya looks at the robot.

In a whirlwind of blue and green, he reaches inside of himself and searches for life. Cold steel and hard-wired code meet his gaze and he plunges even deeper. 

Focus.

Then all at once, everything in his visions snaps into sudden clarity, like he’s never seen before. He feels everything. Sees Everything. Smells, tastes, hears--and he hears how the metal beneath him bends and groans. He feels how it winces and shudders. He sees it as it opens its maw and its visor bends in a facsimile of eyes, pleading him as if asking how?

The robot beneath him comes to life and stumbles back.

Quickly, he scrambles to the nearest ledge which happens to be a broken support beam. Distantly, he thinks he feels his arm being sliced open on the edge of it and the warmth of blood streaming down his side as he nearly falls. 

“HEY! YOU WITH THE ENGINES!” He hoarsely screams to the still remaining, slack-jawed contestants. “I CAN’T KEEP THE ZERO POINTER DOWN FOR LONG! GO HELP THE GIRL AND TAKE HER TO SAFETY NOW!”

With a sudden burst of energy, the fellow participants start taking others out from the rubble while the blue-haired boy helps the brunette he was protecting earlier. As he watches them clear the rubble to drag her out, he feels a pang.

Who am I? a lost voice calls out. It’s raspy and almost-robotic sounding and only he can hear it. Where am I? What am I?

And Deku’s vision flickers.

In and out, he sees flashes through eyes that aren’t his. He hears voices that are simultaneously faraway and way too close for comfort. The world tugs at the sides of his perspective and a strain is pulling at the back of his head tearing his brain to shreds. He doesn’t know what he’s focusing or straining on, except that its working and keeping the zero-pointer down.

He grits his teeth. “Hurry the hell up! i can’t do this any longer--”

Bursts of pain appear behind his mismatched eyes and he wants to scream so bad and if he were looking any clearer he’d see the way that the zero-pointer thrashes on the ground in time with the pounding on his skull. Bile crawls up the back of his throat and Deku screams.

“SHE’S CLEAR! YOU CAN LET GO NOW, MIDORIYA-SAN.”

Izuku lets go and his vision goes black.

[smol-and-grumpy]

EUPHORIA - Chapter 10

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: He’s Dean Winchester, owner of a shady night club. She’s a journalist who has been asked to write an article to expose the indecency and debauchery that’s going on behind closed doors. But he’s also Dean Winchester, the boy who sat next to her in class. The boy who was too cocky for his own good.

Chapter Warning: NSFW

WC: 3672

A/N: This chapter fills my ‘gags’ (with a cock lol) square for @spnkinkbingo​ Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

Beta’d by @deanwanddamons​​​​​​​ <3

This series is two weeks ahead on patreon!

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

Dean’s fucking angry. 

As soon as he heard about the restraining order he wanted to fucking walk it off, but he had to keep his cool, which was kind of hard for him to do. His hands were itching to get a hold of that son of a bitch and personally rip that dude’s fucking lungs out.

But, Dean’s also angry at himself. Angry for not being fucking there! 

He knows that it’s not his fault, but still... He wonders what hell she had to endure. Wonders how long they were together and when it all started. Was he already back in the city? Could he maybe have prevented it if he would have tracked her down? He always wanted to, can’t lie about that. But he always thought that maybe she doesn’t want to be reminded of him. Sometimes, the past should stay past, and not come knocking in the future. 

Dean shakes his head, trying to get the thought of her being coerced into doing anything she doesn’t want to out of his mind. It makes him nauseous.

Somehow, he wants to track that asshole down, put all his investigators on the case. But what good would that do? She’ll only be angry at him if she got wind of it. No, Dean can’t do that behind her back. He does not control her and if he done that, he wouldn’t be any better than the asshole she calls her ex. 

  *

Dean’s sitting in his office, having dropped off her bags in his apartment, and changed into something more business-like. 

He looks over the list of the anniversary party preparation when there’s a knock at the door. 

“Come in,” He grumbles, his eyes not quite leaving the screen.

Cas peaks his head in, “Clear for me to come in?”

“Why shouldn’t it be?” Dean frowns and tears his eyes away from his computer to look at Cas, who has a smug grin on his face.

The dark haired man closes the door behind him before he shrugs, “Oh, you know, gotta be careful what I walk into,”

Dean rolls his eyes, “When did you ever walk into something in my office?”

“That’s not the point,” Cas sighs.

“Your point being?” Dean lifts his one eyebrow in challenge.

“Let’s just,” Cas throws his hands in the air, “Forget it, alright? Fact is, that Y/N is around and I just want to be extra careful because there are parts of you I don’t really want to see.” Cas pretends to shudder. 

Dean rubs over his scruff, as his hand goes up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “Why are you here, Cas? Everything alright down there?”

“Yeah about that. I think someone manipulated our drink orders. None of the champagne has arrived.”

“I heard about that,” Dean nods, “Did you get the suppliers to send out a truck?”

“It’s on its way.” Cas says and finally he sits down.

Dean leans back in his chair, his head right on the edge of the back of it, “I don’t know what’s going on, Cas.”

He really doesn’t. A lot of things are happening that often causes minor discomforts in their already packed schedule. It happens more often, too. It’s like someone’s actively trying to piss him off, and Dean can’t stand the thought of being played. He got his investigators on it, but they come up empty handed, mostly because they don’t fucking know where to look because there’s always other things happening as soon as they have a solid lead. He doesn’t blame them.

“Me neither,” Cas sighs, sinking deeper into the chair across from Dean.

“Look,” Dean composes himself, sits back up and braces his elbows on the desk, “We just keep on going, keep on doing what we can do best. We ignore the little discomforts, alright? I feel like that’s what they want. They want us to give in, and we won’t.”

“Of course we won’t. We’ve worked too hard to let them win.” Cas agrees, and with his next breath, he adds, “How’s things with Y/N?”

Dean smirks at the mention of her name, “Good,” He says, but he has to add what they found out today, “Someone broke into her apartment, though. Stole her laptop. I don’t know if it was her ex boyfriend.”

“You think it has something to do with what we experience now as well?” 

Rubbing over his scruff, Dean exhales, “I don’t know. It could be, it could not. I can’t let her know about it yet, okay?”

“Sure,” The dark haired man says, “You told her about your little secret?”

“No,” And Dean’s quick to add, “We’re not exactly there yet.”

“Ah,” Cas stands up from his chair and Dean knows that he has to go downstairs, “I’m happy you’ve found her, man.”

“She found me.” 

“Right,” Cas nods, “Gotta go see how I can calm the nerves of our VIP’s without champagne, huh?”

Dean scoffs, “Who the hell drinks champagne anyway?”

“Exactly, right?” Cas laughs before he walks to the door.

“I’ll be down in about an hour. I need to amend the list and send it out to Hannah.”

Cas nods before he closes the door. 

  Y/N knocks three times.

“Come in,” She hears Dean shout, his voice a little irritated as if he’s a little annoyed that someone disturbs him.

She only opens the door enough to peek her head through. Dean’s sitting at his desk, his eyes on his computer and he’s typing something or calculating, she doesn’t know, doesn’t really see.

“Are you busy? I mean, I can come by later,” She stands awkwardly in the doorway, not really knowing if she should go in or out. 

Dean turns his head to look at her as soon as he hears that it’s her. His lips curve into a smile, which reaches his eyes and the crinkles deepen, “I’m never busy if it’s you.” 

He’s so blunt about it, and of course the color rises in her cheeks. He abandons his tasks and leans back in his chair. She takes it as a clue to go further into the room, closing the door behind her and drops her bag on the couch.

“What’s that?” Dean asks, jerking his head to the newspaper she’s holding in her hand. 

She toys with it, twists it in her hand, and Dean rolls his chair back a little. She takes it he wants her to go over to him and not sit awkwardly across from him so she does and he watches her curiously. When she’s close enough, he grabs at her wrist, pulls her to stand between his legs. There, he pulls her sideways onto his lap. 

Dean wraps his arms around her, kisses her temple and leaves his lips there, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” She smiles. It’s the truth. She is okay, just really exhausted, “And you?”

“Better when I know you’re okay.” He answers and she’s again taken aback by his bluntness. She should know, though. He’s always been like that. “So, you wanna show me what you have there in your hands?”

Dean changes the subject and yeah, she wants to show him too, because that’s the reason why she came to see him before going up to the apartment at all.

Y/N opens up to the page with the apartment listings. There are several circles in thick black ink, “I looked for apartments,”

“Did you?” Dean’s voice is deep, sharp. A little irritated.

“Yeah,” She nods, “I really shouldn’t stay longer and invade your personal space. You’ve done enough for me as it is, Dean.”

“I don’t really care about my personal space,” Dean takes the newspaper from her hand and he laughs, “Huh, who’s still advertising in newspapers nowadays, though.”

“You shush your mouth. I still don’t have a laptop, so I have to go old school about it, alright?” 

She can see that he’s not really listening. Instead he looks through the ones she’s circled in. To be fair, she only looked at the prices, she didn’t really look where they are or what comes with it. She only went by apartments she could afford. 

While Dean scans through, he drops some remarks, Nope , Nope , Not in a million years , That’s a no .

“Dean!”

“What?” He looks back at her, a frown etched deep into his forehead.

“You can’t say no to every listing!”

“Why not? More than half of them are in bad neighborhoods. Three of them are in our old neighborhood and I know for a fact on my last drive by to visit my parents, that there are prostitutes on every fucking corner. Not to mention drug deals right there on the fucking streets!”

She sighs and scrambled off his lap to stand up, her ass resting against the desk, dropping the newspaper onto it. 

Dean looks up at her. His hands stroke along her thighs, “Look, I’m all for you wanting your own space but not at any cost, alright? Like, now more than ever, I need to know that you’re going to be safe.” 

She gnaws on her bottom lip but doesn’t say anything. And maybe he’s right. No, she knows that he’s right but still… 

“I care about you,” Dean says, his voice is softer, “You should know that by now. And I think that you shouldn’t risk living somewhere that’s not safe when there’s already someone out to get you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” She pouts, can’t help it. 

Dean chuckles, “And there are two listings I’m okay with. Maybe you can call them, arrange a viewing, huh?” Dean grabs at her arms that are crossed over her chest, brings them down to hold both her hands in his, “Come here,”

He pulls her close so she can lean down and cranes his neck to meet her. Her hands go around his head, palms cradling his face, his scruff prickling underneath her hands. Their noses touch and she leans forward, presses her lips on his. 

It feels right, she thinks and that is weird. It feels like she has known him her whole life, even though they just met again a week ago.

His arms go around her body, pulling her tighter to him and she places her knee on the chair between his spread legs. Dean’s tongue invades her mouth, velvety slick against her own. When they part, she feels light headed and her breathing is ragged. 

“There’s no room to show me tonight, is there?” She grins against his lips and Dean has to chuckle.

“No, they’re all occupied,” Dean pecks her lips. His big hands work their way down, spreading themselves over her ass. He spanks down on them, making her squeal, “Besides, you’re still sore.”

He’s right, she’s sore but she has something else in mind. 

“The VIP room?” She raises an eyebrow.

He chuckles again, “Baby, you know I’m not sharing. Not you.”

She smirks, leaning in to steal another kiss. Her tongue teases along his, before she breaks the kiss and Dean’s mouth chases after her. She kisses down his jaw, spraying little kisses down his throat and his hands are now in her hair. 

Dean lets out a groan when she sucks at his pulse point. She grins some more when she makes her way down his body, and Dean’s eyes follow her.

Y/N quickly gets on her knees between his legs. Her hands stroke up and down Dean’s clothed thighs. He watches her, swallowing loudly, his Adam's apple bobbing. However, he doesn’t stop her. Maybe he wants to see how far she would go? Because they’re in his office and someone could come knocking at any time. 

His eyes are challenging, laced with lust. They’re a shade darker too. Dean bites on his lower lip before he darts the tip of his tongue out to lick at it. 

She grins up smugly, before she works her fingers on his belt. 

“Baby, what are you doing?” He growls low. His hands are balled into fists on his thighs, fighting the urge to stop her but also not to. 

“Shhhh, relax,” She smiles. 

Finally, the belt clinks loudly and she’s working on the hook of his dress pants. Her hand cups his bulge before she toys at the zipper and Dean lets out a sound that comes deep from his throat. She likes the sound of that. It’s like he’s trying so hard not to make a noise but it comes out as a mixture of a whine and a growl. 

Pulling the zipper down, she opens his pants enough to lick a broad stripe along his hardening shaft, making Dean moan louder. She has to chuckle at that. It sends his dick twitching underneath the fabric upon feeling the warmth of her breath. 

“Fuck,” Dean grits his teeth.

She seals her mouth around the tip that’s poking through the elastic of his underwear, gives it a hard suck and there’s a sound coming out of his throat again that she can’t quite say what it was. 

Y/N likes that, likes the fact that she’s the one who made him feel all the things he’s feeling right now. It fills her with some weird sense of pride.

Her fingers hook into the elastic band of Dean’s underwear. One hand searches for his cock and Dean lets out an audible exhale upon feeling the air hit his bare dick. She pulls the underwear down to below his balls, leaves it there before she goes lower and sucks one of his balls into her mouth. 

Dean’s hands find her hair, holding it up for her — and for him to see better. 

She lets out the ball from her mouth to worry at his other ball and Dean groans low and dark, “Jesus,”

Her eyes are on him when she licks up his shaft, sees him throw his head back and closes his eyes briefly before he wills himself to look again. 

Taking his hard dick into her hand, she strokes and brushes her fingertips against it. It’s the first time she sees it from up close and god, Dean has a beautiful cock. It makes her drool, quite literally. 

She opens her mouth and sets the tip of her tongue to his little slit that’s leaking pre-cum, the scent of it strong on her taste buds and she tries to get all of his juice into her mouth. Her drool dribbles down her tongue, coating the head of his cock and down his shaft. She’s quick to massage it in and Dean curses incoherently above her. 

His cock twitches in her hand. It’s hard and heavy. It’s pulsing to her own heartbeat. 

Finally, she opens her mouth to rest his dick on her tongue before sealing her lips around it, sucking it in lightly and he has to throw his head back a second time. His taste is even stronger now and it’s intoxicating. All she can see, feel and taste is Dean.

Y/N works him deeper, but there’s no way she can take it all. It doesn’t make her want to try it any less, though. She bobs her head, and Dean holds her hair up, leaves his hands on the side of her face but doesn’t force her down or anything. She’s glad that he lets her do it at her own pace. 

She takes him in as far as she can and there’s her gag reflex. She gags on his cock, bobbing her head some more until her mouth starts to water, her tears start to form, and she gets off him fast, spits the rest of the saliva that formed onto his dick to massage it in. The wetter it gets the louder the noise she makes. The room fills with nasty and obscene sounds. She coughs and blinks a couple of times, and when she looks up, she finds him smiling at her. 

“You really don’t have to take it in so far, you know that, right?” He tries to assure her.

“I want to,” She says, her voice a little strained from the gagging and coughing. 

Not letting him protest, she’s on him again, taking him in inch by inch, and Dean groans when he feels her throat closing and she starts to gag around his sensitive head, “Oh, fuck!”

Sitting straight again, she strokes him with both hands and he reaches out a hand to brush the tears from her face that were running down her cheeks. She continues to suck at his tip and only takes in as much as she can without gagging anymore. The rest she works with her hand, stroking to the same rhythm as her sucking.

“Baby, look at me,” Dean coos, one hand stroking at her cheek. She looks up at him with his dick in her mouth, “Jesus, you look so goddamn beautiful,”

The blood rushes to her head, but she doesn’t think he sees because her head feels warm from working on his cock anyway. She’s so fucking turned on from doing it. From doing it right here. It’s a thing she would have never done in the past.

Dean grabs at the base of his dick and pulls it away from her mouth. She whines at the loss. 

“Open your mouth,” He brushes his fingertips along her cheek gently. And she does, opens up her mouth for him, “Stick your tongue out,” 

She’s sitting and waiting, sticking her tongue out and Dean smiles. The thumb of his other hands comes up to paint along her bottom lip and then he taps his hard dick against her tongue, spanks harder on it with the tip of his dick and rubs it along her velvet tongue, “Jesus fucking Christ, look at you,” His breathing is ragged.

Feeling her drool accumulating in her mouth, she wants to close her lips, wants to swallow it down, but  Dean stops her.

“No, spit on my dick,” He grunts with a piercing look at her. Nodding, she spits it on the head of his dick and Dean massages it in, “Good girl,”

God, she can get off from his words alone. 

Y/N takes his dick into her mouth again to finish what she’s started. Dean caresses her cheek with one hand while he holds her hair out of her face with his other hand. Her one hand strokes the part of him that she can’t fit, fondling his balls with the other, and he groans louder above her.

A choked sound escapes Dean’s lips, “Fuck,” He pants, “Your mouth feels so fucking good,” 

She feels his balls drawing up in her hand, feels his dick twitch slightly when she strokes him harder. 

“Christ— fuck,” Dean curses low and raspy as she feels him releasing his warm cum onto her tongue, “Goddammit,” His hips buck up a couple of times, sending his dick deeper into her mouth, rubbing his cum down her throat while his cock twitches inside of her mouth.

Quickly, she swallows what’s in her mouth and laps at the cum that spilled down his shaft while Dean’s panting hard above her. 

When she’s finished cleaning him up, she lays her head on his thigh, close to his dick, and watches him recover. Dean chuckles when he looks down to her, his hand caresses her cheek, fingertips ghosting over her skin. He smoothes her hair back, tucking them behind her ear as he continues to caress her cheek with his knuckles.

His dick still twitches a little and she moves her face closer to kiss at the head before sucking it in to clean it thoroughly. 

“Oh, shit! Jesus,” He whines, “It’s sensitive,” 

She laughs and lays her head back on his thighs as she watches him packing his soft dick back into his pants. It doesn’t look as impressive when soft, and it’s really astounding how big it can get once it reaches its full size. 

“Come here,” Dean pats his lap for her to climb in and he helps to pull at her arm, manhandling her sideways into his lap. Dean kisses her, and she’s surprised that he’s not put off by his own taste. 

He sucks in her bottom lip before he parts and he has to chuckle all of a sudden. 

“What?” She asks, raising her eyebrows.

“No, it’s just,” Dean starts to say and laughs some more, “Cas was here earlier and he asked if it’s a good time to come in because he didn’t want see us going at it, and I basically just challenged him that he never walked into something before so why should he walk into something now and there you were, sucking me off under my desk.”

She has to laugh, “Good thing he didn’t walk in, huh?” And then she realizes something, “Wait, Cas. As in Castiel? Novak? The guy two grades below us?”

There can be only one. Not a lot of people name their kids Castiel.

Dean nods, “Yeah,”

“I never knew you were friends.” She really didn't. Cas was a fellow nerd as they were called back in high school.

“Well, we weren’t friends either, were we?” He kisses her cheek, “Listen, I really need to go down and see what’s going on down there. Cas is swamped tonight.”

“That’s okay, I’m beat. I wanna go to bed.” 

“Okay,” Dean kisses her temple, leaves his mouth there, “Although I’d prefer to eat you out right now.”

She playfully swats his chest and they both get up from the chair.

“I’ll see you later, okay?” He asks and she nods.

“Shall I take the couch?”

Dean frowns at her, “What?” 

“Well, you know, we’re roomies for a couple of days, I don’t wanna—”

He kisses her bruisingly hard, “Don’t be silly. I expect you to be sleeping soundly in my bed when I go up there,” He leaves one more lingering kiss, one that’s softer, one that makes her all tingly inside. 

Chapter 11

[soulwillower]

if you’re too shy • richie tozier

(richie tozier x cam girl!reader smut)

[based off the song if you’re too shy (let me know) by the 1975.]

requested: i can't find it lol BUT 🤍anon (i think) requested a fic based off of the 1975′s new song, if you’re too shy let me know !!

warnings: swearing, alcohol use, switch!richie kinda, smut, unprotected sex, a tiny bit of cumplay i guess, mentions of phone sex, oral sex (female receiving), face sitting, a bit of dirty talking, UNEDITED as always

also i wrote this in a different style than usual and idk if i like it much but u can let me know what u guys think,, if its weird i can go in and change the povs since its 3rd person richie

[losers + reader are 21+ in this.]

7.4k words lol

♡

i see her online all the time i'm trying not to stare down there while she talks about her tough time

"h-hey, man, who's that?" the voice from right next to richie makes him damn near leap out of his seat. it makes beverly chuckle a bit as she takes a bite of her apple, shaking her head. "it’s nobody." richie says quickly as he tilts his phone towards his chest and shoots a toothy grin to bill. his friend raises his full eyebrows, "wh-what, so n-nobody was sending you n-nudes?"

"something like that." richie mutters, stomach fluttering as the image flashes in his mind’s eye - the curves, the dark red lace, the plush skin painting a perfect scene in richie’s vivid imagination.

richie looks back down at the photo. his his thumbs hover over the profile picture; he'd found her originally on his instagram explore page, the photos teasing and immediately he had to know more. y/n.

and then a few days later, he'd subscribed to her only fans, which he never quite thought he'd do with anyone, but he couldn't help it. she was so enticing, so perfect and so alluring. it was the playfulness that pulled him in; and he swears he's never lusted after somebody like he has with her. it was kind of starting to freak him out.

"is that o-onlyfans?" bill says and richie shoves bill's nosy face off his shoulder with a panicked grunt. "fuck off, mushmouth."

bill laughs and stan and bev perk up from across the table, staring at the two, interests suddenly piqued. "did you subscribe to a girl's onlyfans, rich?" stan says with a grin, setting his pen down on his notebook. 

richie just smirks and wiggles his brows a bit, enough to confirm his question. bill chuckles from next to richie.

"let me see." bev says, wiggling her manicured nails in a "gimme" motion. richie hands his phone over with red cheeks. normally he wouldn't care about his friends discovering he's paid money just to see a hot chick's bod, but this was different. for some reason, he felt connected to her. god, that thought made him want to slam his head against a brick wall. she doesn't even know him,  for all he knows she could live in the middle of.... montana, or like, ohio.

bev whistles and stan nods, "if i looked like that," bev mumbles as she tosses richie's phone back towards him, "i'd do that too. mad props."

noises of agreement fill the table but richie's just looking at the small smirk that peeks from the corner of one of the photos and he can't help but wonder what her eyes are like in real life. he wishes he could meet her.

girl of your dreams, you know what i mean there's something 'bout her stare that makes you nervous and you say things that you don't mean

it's a cold day when bill and richie find themselves stumbling in to the coffee shop for a drink. bill's muttering about some girl in his creative writing class that gave him head when richie's eyes catch a figure so familiar yet foreign that he stops dead in his tracks. bill turns to him, face confused. "r-richie, what's wrong w-with you?"

richie shakes his head, stammering in disbelief, "that-that's her, bill. the girl, from onlyfans. y/n." he whispers, gesturing with his eyes towards the girl working the register.

bill’s jaw goes slack, green eyes raking over her form and igniting richie’s stomach with boiling rage. as if bill’s doing something that only richie is allowed to do – as if they're not both being total creeps.

“h-holy sh-shit. she’s b-beautiful.” bill mumbles. richie elbows him in the ribs, shooting him a glare that prompts an eye-roll from his auburn haired friend.

richie swallows and watches, his throat feeling like sandpaper as she laughs at something the customer in front of them said. bill nudges richie, "i-i'm gonna get a s-seat. t-talk to her."

he winks and grins as he walks away, leaving richie with his reckless self. he thinks he's sweating through his sweater as he walks up, finding himself face-to-face with her. "hi, how can i help you?" she asks, giving him a smile

holyshitholyshitholyshit.

he might've just came right then and there. okay, he's gotta say something cool, something smooth. don't be a dumbass, tozier. 

"howdy, sugar. i'll have my coffee like i like my women." his mouth blurts as his brain sirens go off, PUT ON THE BRAKES, RICH – "a hot shock to the lap.”

she glares at him, cheeks light pink and eyebrows pulled together in annoyance and yep, richie's probably going to get hard because of that look but he's also probably going to toss his body off a bridge because what the fuck, tozier?

he can hear bill laughing quietly from a ways away and he quickly shakes his head, muttering quietly, "jail. jail, richard."

"funny." she deadpans, clearly not amused. because of course she isn't.

"sorry, i'll have a black coffee, y/n." he mutters, eyes widening to himself when he realizes she was not wearing a goddamn name tag and he just said her name.

this is a disaster. she gives him a bewildered, slightly creeped out look and if richie wasn't panicking, he'd gape at how she still managed to be effortlessly gorgeous even now.

he sighs, shaking his head, the door of the cafe opening and blowing a gust of frigid air through the warm room. fitting - douche chill. 

"look, toots, i don't want this to be weird. i- um, i recognize you." he says, cheeks aflame. she raises a brow, face straight for a few moments, unsure what he means.

it's not long after when recognition flashes over her own face - must have ruled out coffee shop, university and her local gym - and she nods with a tight, almost uncomfortable smile. 

he tries not to think of the livestream he watched last night where she showed all her new gifts and modeled lingerie, and how he’d spent his time to himself with his left hand immediately after watching. his cheeks are red with shame. 

"okay." is all she says, writing down a scribbled order on the coffee cup. her eyes shoot back up and give richie a once-over that really makes his fingers itch - god, why did he have to be this way? 

he almost runs his fingers through his curls but decides against it, eyes opting to focus on her own gorgeous eyes as they meet him. "i'm impressed i have a fan who looks like you, i must say. even if you are a complete jack ass." she purrs and his jaw nearly smacks the floor at its velocity as it flies open.

"what's that supposed to mean?" he asks then with a small grin, flattered at the tiniest of compliments that just barely, in his mind, eclipsed the insult that he so very much deserved.

"i'm saying you're kind of a dick. it's too bad, because you're real cute." she says casually, handing him his change. his stomach flips and butterflies release in his chest, a feeling that he's not felt in almost five years.

but damn, of course he messed up - he got the chance to talk to the hottest girl on earth and he started it by saying an awful joke that wasn't funny at all. of course she though he was a dick, he is one.

he's shocked, though, as he waits for his coffee with bill, who is still snickering into his hand every few moments, to find his coffee cup with extra sharpie scribbled on the white paper. a name.

y/n. and below it is a phone number with a small heart scribbled, and richie can't tell if it's a seven or a one but he figures he'd try every phone number in the damn state if it meant he could fucking text her. holy fuck.

"maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes i'm not playing with you, baby i think that you should give it a go" she said, "maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes i wanna see, and stop thinking if you're too shy, then let me too shy, then let me know"

he didn't text her for two days and three hours. yes, he counted it. no, he won't think about why he was obsessing over the numbers - but since the time he'd finally had found the courage to text her today, things have escalated proficiently. 

she'd just mentioned how hot it was in her apartment since her heater had gone haywire - even though the winter winds were cold, she'd claimed she was burning up in what she was wearing.

and the mere mention of her clothing had sent richie into somewhat of a spiral, spending at least seven minutes glued to his phone and scrolling through the saved album he had of those photos of her that she'd posted; his sweatpants getting increasingly tight and his palm suddenly aching to slip through the fabric and find some release.

but, in true trashmouth fashion, he apparently needed that sweet, sweet rejection from a hot cam girl he'd somehow weaseled into getting the number of in order to wank off properly, so he types out a text and hits send immediately.

what are you wearing?

and then he almost vomits in embarrassment – what was she going to think? did he just royally fuck up? oh god, he’s going to have to shave his head and move to canada.

his phone buzzes and he nearly passes out when he lays his eyes upon the image attached – there her body is again, curvy and full and beautiful, her skin glowing in the fading light of what he assumes is her bedroom. and with it:

this. what are you wearing, rich?

and then he pulls his gaze from his phone and stands, breathing heavily because holy shit.

he's gotten nudes before, but.... none from someone like her. holy shit.

he walks to his bathroom, splashing water on his beet-red cheeks. he swallows, staring at himself in the mirror. fuck.

he slaps his cheek once, then winking at himself in attempt to muster any sliver of confidence. and then he snaps a picture, only in his boxers.

and then he has to physically refrain from making a joke about wearing the same lingerie set as her, instead sending a flirty text that he knows any other woman would blush at. he just doesn’t know with y/n, and maybe that’s why he loves it so much. she's keeping him on his toes.

you like what you see?

he sends that one afterwards, shaking his head because oh my god, she's going to respond with "no" and then bill him $40 for the nude she sent him. not that he wouldn't pay, but...

his phone dings and he nearly breaks an ankle running to his desk. 

yeah, i do. but maybe i'd like you better without any clothes on.

he almost yells out loud at this, but he has a feeling that waking up stan in the middle of the night would not be optimal after their 'roommate agreement' they'd made that explicitly states richie cannot scream between 1am - 9am. so instead he smirks to himself, face turning red.

he's getting harder by the moment, and as he stares at that picture she'd sent earlier, he lets out a breathy groan. the lace....

we could face time yk

or we don't have to.

he reads her words in live time, watching the thought bubble appear again and watching it like a hawk. he can just imagine her sitting there with a small smirk as another text comes in and he almost groans as his dick twitches.

like, if you're too shy or something ;)

he stares at the screen for two seconds at that sinful photo she'd sent just before those texts and then sighs, shaking his head and pressing the green face-time call button.

i've been wearing nothing every time i call you and i'm starting to feel weird about it sometimes it's better if you think about it this time, i think i'm gonna drink through it

three days later, richie was undeniably and unequivocally drunk. but, as he's just explained about three times to mike, he knows that it is just easier to not think right, especially about her, right now - and the best way to do that is by getting so piss drunk that even if he tried to "hit her line," as he so eloquently put it, his dick would be too whiskey'd out to make a full appearance.

it's for the best. mike had fake gagged at richie’s cadence with a laugh, but richie was dead serious because he was starting to think he had a real issue.

it was obviously just a fun thing to do between two near-strangers, but he'd found that he was starting to almost pavlov-style condition himself into getting turned on every time the name y/n came across his recent texts or face times, and it was getting to be too much.

especially when her post notification popped up and he cracked a fatty in the middle of his econ lecture. christ, the point of elasticity of markers in the u.s. was not something he pictured when he usually had to quell a pitch in his tent. so yeah, it's too much.

because yes, he loves her fucking body and wants nothing more than her, but in truth he longs for the feeling of her skin against his; to touch her, to kiss her, to make her his. all the time.

but yet, it was just a good way to get off without all the strings and ribbons and yarn and whatever the fuck her soft-looking knit bra is made from attached.

so much for not thinking about her.

but i see her online (and don't think that i should be calling) all the time (i just wanted a happy ending) and i'm pretending i don't care about her stare while she's giving me a tough time

it’s noon the next day and he's laying in (for some reason) stan's bed instead of his own with a blinding, mind-splitting headache and an insatiable craving for a cheeseburger, eyes squinting in lust and something akin to shame as he watches the livestream y/n had just started. she’s in a slip – a very thin, silk and see through slip and it makes him more frustrated than he’s willing to admit.

as he stares at her smooth skin and wonders how it'd be to touch it all, her eyes catch something in the chat and she smiles coyly. "hi, rich." she purrs and richie almost chokes - holy shit, she saw him join.

"do you like my gift i just got?" she asks coyly, snapping the straps of her bra with a small smile and he stiffens almost instantly, thinking of how many times he'd seen her skin in videos and photos that were just for him.

how she'd moaned his name two nights ago on face time, her fingers buried inside herself slightly off-camera. and oh, how he wishes he could see all of her, but they'd not crossed that line yet - anything they'd done hadn't been yet proven visually, only from facial expressions, noises, and the brutal honestly of being together through face time.

he wants her so fucking bad, he needs her like he needs water to drink and air to breathe and it's murdering him as he watches her react to the chat of her livestream, playing with the hem of her black lace panties.

god, he needs a cold shower or something if he's going to get anything done today.

and then he's calling her an a few hours after her stream ends because he just can't wait - he feels his stomach twist with shame as he realizes he should not be doing such a certainly a terrible idea. but she answers after three rings. "richie." her siren voice purrs and he literally feels himself fall deeper into the pit.

"hi there, toots. got any coffee in the pot for me?" he asks, sounding surprisingly eloquent compared to how she normally makes him feel. 

she hums in fake thought, and it makes richie grin. she's fucking adorable. "come to the shop, i have my break in ten." and then she hangs up. he sighs, rubbing his face with his hand as he shakes his head. he's utterly fucked.

he's there in record time, a smirk plastered on his face as he walks in and sees her sitting at a table, lookin' all pretty. just for him.

"what made you think of calling?" she says in loo of a greeting. he sits across from her and wills his eyes to meet hers. "nothin' toots." he says with a half shrug, taking a sip of the coffee placed in front of him that has the the name 'dick' written on it in her handwriting. he rolls his eyes affectionately.

"oh, so it wasn't anything to do with my livestream this morning?" she asks with a look, eyeing him. her eyes are swimmable, they hold so many stories and secrets and maybe richie's just hungover, but he's feeling very flustered.

"we-w, uh, no. what... what are you talking about?" he rolls his eyes at himself inwardly, cursing stuttering bill and his contagious speech patterns. "-i don't know what you're talking about, sugar." he recovers fairly smoothly, if he may toot his own horn. and honestly, he can pretend not to care as long as he doesn't look into that goddamn stare of hers.

he chuckles awkwardly, cheeks aflame as she stares at him with a bored look and a small hum. she still looks perfect and he's even more nervous now, because oh god, oh fuck, he's gonna get slapped in the face by y/n.

it was pretty unspoken since they'd started doing... stuff... that richie probably still watched her content online, but she'd never fully addressed it until today during the livestream in front of a thousand others. 

he's choking on his spit in shame but then a smile splits her face and richie's sure he's suffocated on his own saliva and gone to a sinner's heaven. or maybe hell.

"oh, richie, i'm just teasing you. look at your face!" she says with an airy laugh, pinching his cheeks and making him want to shrivel up as he turns even redder. what the fuck? "-so cute. alright, i've got to get back to work. i'll see you around, rich." she says with a wink, taking her coffee and tossing it into the trash bin as she stalks towards the employee back room.

he gapes as he watches her leave and then gets up and makes his way to the exit, clutching the coffee like it was trying to jump out of his grasp and make a run for it. god, she's too much.

"maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes i'm not playing with you, baby i think that you should give it a go" she said, "maybe i would like you better if you took off your clothes i wanna see, and stop thinking If you're too shy, then let me too shy, then let me know"

"-babe, you'll have to try harder than that." richie says with a chuckle, watching his phone screen as the beautiful girl on face time gives him a sly, challenging look. she's in a green lace bra, one richie's not seen yet and he can feel himself stiffen as she absently trails her fingers over her chest.

they'd been much closer over the last week since he last saw her in person, enough so that in the three-is weeks of knowing her, he's positive he's head over ass for her in a way that he shouldn't be. and yet, she still comes back every time, still texts him and answers those face time calls. he's baffled, honestly.

"i know you hate me because i'm right." he adds, not even totally remembering what point he's trying to prove as y/n shifts back a bit and more of her body is revealed, her hair glowing dimly in the soft lighting of her room. his eyes run over her curves, her full thighs and stomach and hips that fill over her panties and he almost groans.

"whatever, maybe i'd like you better if you took off your clothes." she says coyly. and richie's half flattered, as usual, but the more he thinks of it the more deflated he feels. he kind of thought they were growing something more than just getting each other off over face time like horny fifteen year olds. he grins nonetheless.

"you say that a lot, you know." richie says breathlessly as he stares at her. she tilts her head ever so slightly and grins, biting her lip as her eyes move around her screen with a conflicted look. "-why?" he adds.

she hums again.

"well. okay, so there's the visual world - like, the internet, onlyfans, instagram- it tells us that everything is amazing. and we should want everything. and it makes us yearn for everything that we don’t have and everything that’s unobtainable. you know, love, a relationship beyond physical. and even physical, it's different when it's online."

her words confuse him much more than they aid him. "you think... that because of the internet, love is unattainable?" he asks with furrowed brows, unsure how somebody so perfect and, quite frankly, lovable, would think that.

"it is for me." she says it with a small sense of forlorning but mostly it's whispered. enough that richie's heart skips a beat and he's, for the first time, not having a hard time keeping his eyes on her face instead of her body.

"what?" he asks dumbly. she just laughs, shaking her head and he stares at her on his tiny phone screen in the dark.

"that’s something that, you know. in real life, person to person, it has a lot of connotations of... trust and vulnerability and connection. doing what i do- and what we're doing… on the internet - it has the opposite of those connotations. like, before you, i didn't- i didn't really do this, i just was selling stuff. because guys don't want to fuck the girl who sells her body online. and you know now, i want to..." she trails off and richie doesn't dare interrupt her because he thinks she's about to say something he's wanted to tell her for a while now.

"i don't know, i guess. exploring someone's body in physical presence isn't seen at all as voyeuristic, or anything apart from...like, an intimate exchange." she says it casually, brushing hair from her face and shit, richie's swooning. he's in fucking love, he knows it, because y/n is so smart and intelligent and he's so fucking trashed for her. as she speaks, her hands move and distract him slightly from her body, doused in blue light from the screen and splayed out for him and only him on her phone camera.

the soft lace on her hips and chest make his body stiffen and it causes him to suppress a groan as she sighs, but richie knows he can’t screenshot this heavenly sight because she’ll definitely notice and she can probably already tell he’s having a hard time not staring at her alluring figure as she talks.

"-whereas, you know. as soon as it happens on the internet, it becomes kinky and cam-girly. and, you know, that's fine. i love doing it. it's just, i'm not sure where the authentic communication even is now. or if i get to have a happy ending." she says and he finally sees her blush for the first time.

he wishes he was there with her, he wishes that he could touch the redness on her cheeks and caress her curvy body and taste her skin on his tongue. he wants to feel himself inside her, he wants to be with her and kiss her lips and yet he can't, so he sighs and shifts in his position, moving to turn up the brightness of his phone so he can see better.

"shouldn't you get to be the one to decide that, doll?" is all he adds. because he feels kind of lost and just as confused as y/n is with this.

he's starting to feel weird about it, because... is this authentic? what makes things like hookups or whatever the hell they've been doing authentic? shouldn't this be easy? it's just phone sex, phone sex with a really hot girl.

a girl who is complex and alive and full of sincerity and richie is definitely falling harder than he should.

she just sighs but makes no other comment. and then they just stare at each other, richie's face illuminated in his dark room by the phone's reflection.

well, i found a motel it looked like the bins i think there'd been a murder so we couldn't get in i need to get back i've gotta see the girl on the screen

"come over and watch a movie with me." he says into the phone, biting his lip. the silence from the other end of the line is deafening as she makes her decision, because they both know she's not about to come over just to watch the shining or psycho. 

they've never done that before, and richie knows if she does come over, then whatever they have will crash down in a fiery mess. and he hates how excited that makes him as he waits in silence for her to drop the ball. so to speak.

"okay." she says, sounding shocked herself, and richie can't contain the excited grin from eclipsing his face. "yeah?" he asks breathlessly, and she's quiet for a little longer. "yeah. text me your address." 

she hangs up after that, and richie's thumbs shake as he types his address and sprints out to where stan, mike, ben, and bill are playing video games in he and stan's living room, wheezing at all of them to get out because someone fucking unbelievable is about to walk through that door.

she's there about an hour later, cheeks flushed when richie opens his door, looking just as nervous and flustered. "hi, chee." she says breathlessly, staring up at him with those goddamn eyes, the eyes that pulled him in the first time. his stomach flips in affection at her nickname and he offers her a drink as she takes in his shitty apartment. he wonders briefly if stan ended up buying that rosé that he'd given him shit for considering, and then prays that stan will stay the night elsewhere.

she's already pouring out glasses of wine when he snaps back to reality, and he grins at her, mumbling in thanks as she passes him a glass that's certainly poured almost to the brim.

"what are we watching, then?" she asks coyly, lifting a brow at him. his cheeks are red, but he tugs her arm down the hall towards his room with a grin, their wine sloshing from their glasses as they move erratically.

"we're watching psycho, y/n/n." he says as he pulls her into his room, glancing back to see she's already swallowed down almost half her glass, a lipstick stain on the side of it. faintly he knows stan will be frustrated if richie doesn't clean that off, but he's more distracted by her lips.

"i like psycho." she says with a nod and a cheeky grin, "the whole 'voyeuristic gaze' thing with hitchcock." she mumbles, and richie recalls faintly learning about that in one of his film classes freshman year and he grins as he takes a hefty gulp of his rosé, figuring he's already given himself away and if she's going to do that, he can too.

he hums, setting down his glass and grabbing hers to set it besides his on the bedside table. he turns around, intending on grabbing his laptop so they could watch the film, but she's so much closer that he'd expected and her hands fall onto his shoulders and he almost shits himself.

unpleasant, but honest. just richie's style.

"can i try something?" she asks with a grin, and richie nods, knowing that she could do anything to him and he'd gladly let it happen and most likely pay out of pocket for the damages afterwards.

and then she's pulling him from her grip on his shoulders, her lips sliding against his and making him grip her hips. his mind almost explodes at with y/n-sensory-overload because he feels her everywhere - on his lips, against his hands, on his shoulders, and pressing against his front.

her lips taste like chamomile and rosé.

she thinks his lips taste like vanilla and cigarette smoke, just as she'd always imagined. he feels so real, pressed against her lips and his body against hers, and she sighs as her tongue slips into his mouth because god, she's needed him for so long. and now she has him.

his hands move, touching every inch of her as their tongues fight for dominance. she pulls back, smirking as she gently pushes him onto his mattress, sliding onto his lap smoothly afterwards, grinding her hips against his slowly.

the moan he emits is heavenly and she could cry because she finally gets to hear it in person and not through the crackling static frequency of the phone.

so she grinds down on him again, eager to feel all of him. he's hardening against her core and she whimpers into his mouth in need as his fingers slip under her top, rubbing circles on her bare skin and making her shiver. she's noticed to this gentleness; it was rare when she did get to enjoy the comfort of another body with her own, and when she did they were hardly half as loving or caring as him.

she's desperate now, she needs to feel him inside her after all these weeks of teasing and waiting, so her hand snakes down to palm him through his sweats. he lets out a small groan into her mouth, biting her lip as he pulls back slightly. their eyes meet and his are hooded with lust, lips parted as she pumps him slowly from outside his sweats. his hips buck up lightly into her palm and she smiles gently, kissing him slowly.

"let me make you feel good, y/n." he mutters, eyes pleading as he stares up at her. her stomach flutters with butterflies and she nods, shocked that he wants to pleasure her.

he gently pulls her off his lap until she's laying on his mattress and he stares down at her, biting his lip as he takes her in. he can't fucking believe she's really here. she slowly pulls off her top, leaving her in her bra and jeans as she stares up at him with a wry, seductive smile. then she unzips her jeans and slides them off, leaving her in his favorite set of hers - black, lacy, and revealing. she looks utterly stunning and he groans, his hands falling to run over the skin, tracing the lace on her breasts. her cheeks are red as she gazes up at him.

"touch me, richie." she orders and he almost groans as he drags his lips over the valley of her breasts, sucking on the soft flesh and admiring the splashes of budding purple and pink that he's created. her heartbeat is quick under his fingertips and he moves to unclip her bra, kissing her skin as the fabric falls away.

she's slightly cold in his room, and goosebumps appear over her flesh as richie leans to catch a nipple in her mouth, flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud. she lets out a quiet whine that has richie rutting into the mattress next to her, his fingers trailing down to dance at the waistline of her underwear.

and then he's pulling aside her panties, his fingers running up and down her slick folds and making her jump in lust. he can't wait, just like her, and he's rubbing her clit teasingly as she pleads, "chee, please."  her eyes are eyes closed in bliss as his finger slips inside her, crooking slightly as he moves it. he presses his lips to the skin of her breast, pumping his finger and then soon adding another, crooking them both in a way that makes her let out guttural moans of pleasure. he marks her breasts with littered pink and red marks, smiling to himself at her figure.

she can't help but swoon as she watches him, his hair in his face slightly until she brushes it back, his fingers curling inside her and making her gasp, pleasure coursing through her body. his thumb softly comes up to rub her neglected clit and she grabs his shoulders to steady herself, the pleasure almost too much.

she's honestly slightly shocked - knowing richie as little as she really does outside of the literal booty calls at two in the morning and the accumulative forty five minutes they'd spent in person, she'd expected him to be... well, good. just good. because there's no way someone so funny, caring, and smart could also be that good in the sheets.

but right now, he's making her see goddamn stars.

"i've been wanting to touch you for so long, sugar." he mutters, eyes raking over her figure as her breath comes in stuttering gasps. she watches him with blown-wide eyes as his demeanor changes right before her, making her fall apart at his fingertips.

"that feel good, honey?" he asks, smirking as she whimpers, clenching around his fingers. "yes, god you feel so good." she utters, making him groan in approval from where he's sat back, watching her face contort in pleasure. she lets out another moan and richie stares at her body, watching his fingers as they fuck into her. he can't take it, then.

"will you sit on my face, doll?" he blurts, and she nearly yelps out as his fingers leave her. it's abrupt, but she's started to notice that this is how he operates - impulsivity is his second nature. and she loves it.

her face burns as she nods, the thought of richie under her making her whimper with anticipation. "yes, richie, please." she moans out again and he's grinning, laying back on the mattress with a wink. "c'mere, need to taste that pretty little pussy." he mutters and she feels herself clench around nothing, desperate for him as she swings a leg around to straddle his head.

immediately, his hands wrap around her thighs, thumbs smoothing over her stretch marks as he stares up at her, eyes glinting with desire. slowly, his finger pulls the seat of her lace panties to the side and his breath hits her bare, throbbing pussy, making her breath hitch. she cards her fingers through his hair and lowers herself slightly, gasping in shock as his tongue darts out to lick a bold stripe up from her entrance to her clit.

"chee," she moans out, tightening her grip in his hair and sending a groan through his body that reverberates and makes her shiver. his lips attach to her clit and fiery pleasure snakes through her body making her legs shake, a moan escaping her lips immediately. he sucks lightly before releasing to swirl his tongue, her moans making richie impossibly harder through his sweats.

"so good, rich." she mutters and he groans, tongue spreading her wet folds and slowly prodding at her entrance, dipping in slowly before pulling out, teasing her.

she can't help but grind down slightly, making richie grip her tightly, tongue sliding into her again and making her yelp. "you taste so good, baby." he mutters lowly before slowly reattaching himself to her heat, her eyes rolling slightly at the sensation as he fucks his tongue into her. one of his hands snakes up to her ass, gripping it tightly and then slapping it, the stinging pleasure making her buck her hips against him, emitting a hiss from her.

"rich, i-" she cuts herself off with a sharp gasp, the pleasure from richie's mouth making it increasingly harder to speak. her toes curl and her head tilts back as his tongue flicks over her clit, teeth grazing it slightly and making her buck.

she's embarrassingly close already, and judging by the way richie's smirking under her, he can tell. "please, please." she mutters, hips rocking on him as his tongue swirls, nipping softly at her clit and making her cry out. "please, make me cum, 'chee." she mutters and his tongue moves quicker, hand slapping her ass again.

and then she's clenching her thighs on either side of him and grinding down as she hits her peak, moaning quietly as she shakes in pleasure on top of him. he rides through her high, lapping at her and pulling away with a grin as she moans his name dejectedly. she's worn out from the best orgasm she's ever had and he gently nudges her so he slides in between her thighs, her back now on the mattress. he kisses her cheek and she keens quietly.

"fuck me, richie." she mutters, eyes still closed. his eyes snap to hers, surprised at the dominance in her voice after how she was two seconds ago.

he moans quietly, kissing her deeply as he ruts against her and relishes in the feeling. he's pulling off his sweats and boxers in record time and then he's pumping himself as he grips her hips, turning her so she's on her stomach, ass propped up slightly. his hand runs over the smooth skin of her ass, snapping the elastic of her panties and making her moan quietly.

then he's lining up her hips with his, pulling aside the lacy seat of her underwear to press against her entrance. he waits a moment as he leans to press a soft kiss to her spine, slowly easing into her. she moans loudly as he eases in, her face pressing against the pillows. she smiles as she smells the scent she'd just recently come to know as his, his cock stretching her and filling her up fully as he buries himself to the hilt inside her.

"so tight, sugar." he mutters and she whimpers, getting antsy as she adjusts to his size. "richie, please, need it so bad." she mutters, bucking her hips back against him in need.

"say that again." he mutters, sounding strangled, and she grins into the sheets. "please fuck me, richie. need it so bad, need to feel you ruin me." she whimpers, chest fluttering in anticipation. his hands grip her hips as he pulls out of her slowly, almost as slowly as he entered, before stopping almost all the way out. she moans loudly in pleasure as he pushes back in, snapping his hips against hers and filling her completely.

she briefly thanks god that his roommate seemed to be out for the night as she moans his name loud enough for the neighbors to hear.

he sets a brutal pace, his cock thick as it fills her up and makes her toes curl. he pushes her hair away from her neck and presses kisses to it as he hits a spot inside her that makes her scream his name. his fingers move to pinch her nipples, rolling them as he fucks into her.

she's completely blissed out at the feeling of him inside her, so glad that he invited her over and that they finally get to touch each other. "rich, oh my god." she emits, eyes squinted shut in complete pleasure.

"fuck, toots, takin' me so well, aren't you?" he asks, hands kneading her ass before slapping her right ass cheek harshly, making her arch her back. at the new angle they both let out a groan and richie knows he'll fucking cum too soon if they stay like this, so without warning he pulls out completely.

y/n whines, breathing heavily as his hands come to flip her around. now on her back, they make eye contact and she bites her lip, pulling him in for a searing kiss that knocks the wind out of both of them. images of richie in his room alone, snaps and late-night face times play through her mind as he grips her and slides her hips down towards him on the mattress and lines himself to her again, pulling her legs up so they're against his chest before pushing in.

he gives no time to adjust to this angle and it makes her moan loudly as he hits a spot deep inside her that pulls her closer and closer to her second orgasm.

his name leaves her cherry lips like a mantra and he can't stop staring at her as he fucks her into the mattress - the way her tits bounce with his brutal pace, the way her face is twisted in pleasure, the way she clenches and spasms around his cock.

one hand grips her breast, rubbing her nipple with his thumb and forefinger as he kisses her again, addicted to her taste as he feels himself coming closer and closer to the edge.

"chee, fuck, right there." she moans out and he groans in pleasure, the feeling of her walls clenching around him making his hips stutter. he keeps his thrusts up, though, as her fingernails rake down his back leaving small trails of burning pleasure in their wake.

her skin is covered with a sheen line of sweat as she looks up at him, hair wild and lips kiss-bruised. "god, don't stop, 'm gonna cum." she mutters and he snaps his hips harder, eager to make her cum so hard all she can think of is his name.

he moves a hand down to rub at her clit and he moans into her neck as she clenches hard around him, her hips bucking spastically. he can tell she's about to cum, and after a hard thrust, she does for the second time, spasming around him and sending waves of pleasure up his body. she's moaning his name, pulling him closer in bliss as she becomes sensitive and god damn it, she's so fucking beautiful.

"please cum, richie." she whispers against his lips, "please."  and then at her will, he's spilling into her, hips stuttering as he pushes as deep into her as he can, loving how she clenches in sensitivity around him. he stays inside her for a moment as they breathe, coming down from their highs and eyes closed as they take in what just happened.

"holy shit." he says because yeah, that's like all he can say right now because he just got to fuck y/n and she's kissing his fucking collarbones right now and its making him blush and his heart flutter.

"that was...incredible." she whispers against his skin and he can feel her smile against his skin. it makes him feel all soft inside as he pulls out of her and flops next to her, kissing her forehead.

his fingers flutter over her sensitive core, smiling as he sees how wrecked she is, some cum dripping down her leg. he then soothes over the lace panties, patting her lightly and kissing her red cheek.

"rich?" she asks, making him look up at her. he hums in question, pushing some of her hair back. "can we still watch the movie?"

his heart swells and he grins, kissing her softly. "of course, doll. you're too cute." he says with a wink, making her roll her eyes. he hands her his shirt and then pulls sweats on himself, mumbling "stay here" and padding out to the kitchen to get her water and snacks,  then returning minutes later to see her holding his phone in her clutch with a smirk.

"what're you doing?" he asks with a smile, but she shakes her head, making grabby hands for him and the snacks. so he laughs, cuddling up with the girl of his dreams and watching a flick, falling sleep with tangled limbs and a lipstick-stained neck.

and after she leaves the next morning with a kiss and a wink, he checks his phone and smirks to himself as he notices the lock screen she'd apparently made last night while he was making snacks.

a photo of her in his bed, wearing his shirt, a soft smirk on her face, neck littered in budding hickeys and a hand between her thighs next to her black lace panties.

god, she's going to be the absolute death of him.

//tag list:  @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @simplesammyx @dickology64 @clownsloveyou @emnotm @moon-shine-baby @toziershmozier @daughter-of-the-stars11 @lets-vibe-bro @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @beauregard-s@finnskindofwoman  @kait-tozier @upamongthestarss \\

[thoschei-rights]

Season 12 but The Master kept pretending to be O??

Basically self-indulgent Thoschei with a twist.

lots of typos bc?? i aint got time to go correct stuff yet? I will later?? 

So Spyfall is resolved, The Kasaavin are banished back to their realm and the Fam and Doctor are clueless as to the true mastermind, Barton taking the fall while the Master continues to pose ad O, having decided he’s enjoying the game of tricking her too much.

Perhaps among their texts they’ve grown close, or perhaps the brief time together in the outback led to events?? ;) But either way, he changes his mind mid plan and continues to act human.

Since he never leaves the message or has the confrontation in Paris, the doctor remains unaware of Gallifrey’s destruction. The fam wait off on asking their questions since she isn’t off with them.

Orphan 55 happens, and while the fam go do their shit, O stays with the Doctor bc admit it, she was like oh ;-; when everyone went to explore. My poor baby. So they hang out together before everything goes to shit, how cute?? Things get resolved, but with the revelation of one of earth’s potential fates, and the potential that the doctor lied about knowing, the fam decide to ask to know more about her. She shares what she believes its true at the time, being born on gallifrey and being a timelord, O looms in the background looking awkward bc he knows none of that is true and he feels horrible keeping the truth from her, it makes him as bad as the rest of the time lords- but he is selfish and he doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing, he’s started to really enjoy her company, its everything he’s ever wanted, every star.

And then it’s ruined when Yaz asks to see her own planet. Blissfully unaware of its destruction, she takes them, and so they’re right there with her when she sees, opens the doors to the rubble, the dying flames- and oh god. The fam are horrified, she’s horrified, O has to fake it, while being utterly glad those nasties are dead- maybe he gets to sneakily comfort hug her??? like she’s trying not to tear up even after that whole shit show of the confession dial, it was her home??so yeah he’s like hugging her but he’s so angry bc they dont deserve her tears?? 

The doctor is off after that, and the fam know why, and none of their words of comfort do much, because sure they’ve just witnessed the death of earth too but that is just one timeline, can be completely avoided, while gallifrey is gone forever, and she believes she’s once more the last of her kind. it hurts.

they visit tesla all the same, and when that big ass scorpion looking alien (bc im sorry i didnt like the episode and i’ve forgotten her name so....) mentions dead planets, she can feel the fam stiffen, as though the doctor is gonna blow at any minute, but she keeps calm, tries to bury the rage, but O can tell, can tell by the way her arms shake, hands clenched into fists in her pockets- and it hurts him to see her like this- the longer he spends around her, pretending to be someone he’s not, he’s just realizing more and more what a dumbass he is and that he’s still as in love with her now than he was all those years ago in the academy- none of the truth will change that-

and then boom the shit show with the judoon occurs and suddenly O is confused af because that Lee guy could ONLY have been him. Who else on gallifrey was stupid enough to hide out with the doctor, marry them and die for them?? him because he’s a dumbass? but he’s a dumbass who definitely doesnt remember this memories?? which theoretically in the doctors timeline should have been sometime after the division? or during? he’s not sure? but to his knowledge he shouldn’t have been alive at this stage? and now he’s not sure what the fuck HIS own life is too? did they take his memories from him too? has he lost part of his life? suddenly the truth doesnt seem as known as he thought- so while the doctor is reeling from the information of Ruth being her somehow? O is having his own mental crisis because what the fuck did they do to him too? what is he missing?? 

praxeus continues as similar as it did originally, O is only the tiniest impressed at Yaz, ever since Spyfall he’d sensed she was the human with the most potential to not be utterly worthless so he’s glad at least one of the doctors latest pets seems to have some initiative?? but yeah i dont wanna change much about praxeus? its not important- except the doctor saying she’s a romantic and the master wants that? wait what- he’s conflicted about his own thoughts? he wanted to break her, destroy her with the truth? but he also just wants to wrap her in his arms? make everything as okay as he can? what the fuck is even happening with him? jsut your usual ‘im a mess’ vibes lmao

when can you hear me? rolls around, it happens in a similar way, i dont wanna get to into it because i dont wanna think too much...the episode was weird, it was just weird-- i cant?? although maybe bc that zellin and the lady whose name i forgot...but they were immortal right?? maybe their species is the doctors species?? huh? huh? think about that- but don’t think too hard bc i hate that theory and i’m gonna pretend i never had that thought- lets just ignore can you hear me even though the end made me cry for yaz bc lol relatable sis, relatable. do whatever you want for this bit fam, idc.

Anyyyyyway. the bit I’m waiting for... Villa Diodati ;) O is ready to smack Byron round the face, fingers itching towards the tce everytime he tries to flirt with the doctor. the lone cyberman appears and wopdie doo earth is going to be destroyed and the doctor is about to do something stupid, thinking there is no other way? the master is like um lol change of plans i dont want the cybermen to win, look how in pain my baby theta is?? i gotta help?? oof? and idk, his patience is like nope all gone? and he whips out his TCE on the lone cyberman and boom. crisis averted? except now the doctor is looking at him in horror and shock and- she realizes who he is then and there, and normally he’d made a big drama out of his, throw in some words, a speech about how easy it was to deceive her, how he destroyed gallifrey- about how he was under her nose this whole time- but he doesn’t, instead he meets her gaze and can barely manage to whisper an “im sorry” and wow shit i wasn’t gonna write that version, i was gonna have feral confrontation but now im stanning a sad master who just needs a hug and some therapy because nothing makes sense, he thought he had everything figured out but he doesnt and he just wANTS HIS FRIEND BACK uiferkghlujkfaghjfkgladhfajkg; i m fine 

i dont know what i wanna do after this point? it could go a lot of different ways?? but thoschei rights bitches. could go angst confrontation and then she abandons him in whatever century that was set bc wow i studied frankenstein in school but i couldnt tell you what century the author is from bc im dumb? 18th? maybe idk that seems likely? or 19th? but anyway yeah or maybe she’s just relieved someone else is alive? or is she shouting for answers or?? i dunno.... but woop ??? 

wow this turned into a big mess but hopefully you can kinda see where i wanna head with things? after this he’d probably show her the truth? i dunno how that’d go down, but he’d be there with her?? But anyway, this idea is free for anyone to write, but holla us a link and I'll give yall a free promo at the end of this post!!

Versions of this that yall Lovelies have blessed us with:

[nobody-wants-ice-cream]

Everything Wrong With The Umbrella Academy. Episode 5, Number Five.

We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

Run Boy Run

Extra Ordinary

Man on the Moon

Disclaimer: This is all in good fun! I wanted to do a really nitpicky re-watch of the series and found some really cool and interesting things I didn’t notice before. This is meant to have a Cinema Sins-esque tone. However, I did take off a lot more sins than Cinema Sins would have because I do genuinely like the series and the people that made it possible. So all of the good things got one sin off and all the bad things got one sin added. This is a really long post, so grab some popcorn. If there’s anything that I missed, feel free to add it!

I would also like to add that normally you wouldn’t watch a show this way. I am purposefully looking for mistakes, easter eggs, and other things that we’re not supposed to notice. I am watching not with the goal of entertainment, but for analysis. So most of the things that I sin, I am seeing for the first time. 

Number Five

The apocalypse looks incredible. Well done special effects team! I know I already shouted them out, but they deserve another one. Or two. -2

Five shades Dolores with an umbrella. What a considerate dude. -1

Heat of the Moment is an awesome song. -1

Five’s survival gear. Well done costume department. -2

Also, the progression of skill and age is really well done. -1

Dolores’s little santa hat. -1

And her sunglasses. -1

“Do you remember that little mansion just outside city limits where we-- yeah” Noodle incident. However, the way Five says this implies that I really, really don’t wanna know. +1

Argyle Public Library. Suddenly the reason why Five went there makes sense. -1

How did Five get all the way up there on the library walls? Did he use a ladder? If so, that was begging for him to fall and break his name. +1

Sean Sullivan (who plays Old Man Five) does an excellent job imitating Aidan Gallagher’s vocal patterns and movements. -1

The Handler is the first person Five sees after 45 years of isolation. +1

Title screen lunch box! -1

Also, Five kept a lunch box to remind him of his family. He had Vanya’s book but nothing else with their images on it. I’m sad now, but glad that Five at least had something. -1

Five is so hungover. +1

Luther looks like he’s about to cry when Five tells him about finding their dead bodies. My boy! +1

Tom Hopper is an excellent actor. -1

Five also looks like he’s about to cry. +1

Aidan Gallagher is an excellent actor. -1

Luther lifts up Diego and holds him like Diego is an angry toddler. This amuses me. -1

See! I told you. Diego figured out that Five was involved with the shootings at Griddys and Gimbel Brothers on Patch’s doorstep! -1

“They work for my former employer. A woman called The Handler.” No one in this show is allowed to have a reasonable name. +1

Underneath how callous Five is about Patch’s death, he shows genuine concern for Diego. -1

Diego has not slept at all. And he is planning to go after Hazel and Cha Cha. Good luck with that, buddy. +1

Luther finally gets tired of Five vagueing everybody. Good job, I’m curious too. Er, I was when this was my first time watching it. -1

The Handler decides to wear three inch red pumps to the apocalypse. +1

The Handler is as vague as a Multi Level Marketing schemer would be.+1

The Commission decides to wait 45 years to recruit Five instead of a more reasonable number. Like zero years. Honestly, if I was the Handler, I would have picked up Five as a young, impressionable thirteen year old. Then he would feel indebted to the Commission and wouldn’t have had time to come up with the equations to escape. The Commission has no logical reasoning skill. +1

“You’re saying that I could actually leave here? Go...go back?” Heartbreaking. Sean Sullivan gets another sin off. -1

“All of this, was supposed to happen”. Kate Walsh is a kick ass actress. -1

The Commission is composed of dicks. +1

Five asks Dolores for permission before running off to join The Commission. -1

Five’s mustache. +1

I would watch a spin off of Five’s time in the Commission. Hopefully season 2 explores this more. Dallas plot, here we come? Sin until we get some answers. +1

You can see Five’s epiphany in his eyes. His expression says “I’ve got it! I’ve got it!” -1

The words on Vanya’s book look real. The props department did not have to go that hard. -2

However, whatever notes Five wrote are indecipherable. And for good reason if he was attempting to fool an entire time commission. -1

The fire extinguisher Klaus throws confirms for Five that the portal works. -1

Also, Five is clutching Vanya’s book. It’s like he’s nervous to see them again after so much time. -1

The fall from the portal to the ground doesn’t break, scratch, or hurt Five at all. +1

Also, Dallas plot foreshadowing? Remains a sin until we have answers. +1

I hope that they show Five picking up his hat, radio, gun, and possibly the fire extinguisher and that is why we never found any of those in a grassy knoll. Season 2 better resolve this. +1

“But that’s murder”. Luther, you threw people out of buildings when you were twelve years old. That is also murder. +1

Aidan Gallagher kills the delivery in this scene. Well done. -1

Klaus still has Dave’s blood on his hands. Also, putting Klaus through even more trauma. +1

Robert Sheehan and the heartbroken thousand yard stare. -1

The music choice really works. -1

That emotional, awful scream. -1

The briefcase exploding may foreshadow Klaus’s comic powers. Sin until we get answers. +1

Hazel and Cha Cha casually murdered Claudia. +1

“Unauthorized round trip travel to 1968”. This is how we found out where Klaus went. It requires a bit more brain power to figure out the Vietnam war from here, however, I think that this was a clever way to do it. It brings us back to the reason Klaus ended up there. -1

Honestly, Hazel was right to not carry the briefcase on him. If Five had seen it at Gimbel Brothers then he would have taken it because he knows what it is. It would be an insurance policy or could be used as leverage. Either way, Hazel and Cha Cha were going to lose their briefcase. +1

Allison, you were there when Vanya made breakfast plans with Leonard. Is the coffee and bombolini your way of trying to distract Vanya? Because based on the makeup and the nice scarf, it isn’t likely that you will be successful. +1

Vanya has a framed piece of sheet music. Either that’s some really valuable manuscript or its something kitschy. Either way, it’s a sin. +1

“What are you concerned about?” Vanya, the red flags are everywhere. +1

“Like a woman who’s based her whole life on rumors.” Ouch. Allison is trying to give you genuine advice, Vanya. This was uncalled for.  +1

Leonard is getting progressively creepier. +1

“Can you imagine sharing your birthday with six world-famous assholes who all know they’re better than you?” Choke on that irony. +1

Leonard doesn’t stop her by saying, “Wait, that’s salt!” he waits until she already put salt in it.  Dick. +1

“What happened to the other girl?” Harold, you know damn well. +1

Good use of Beethoven. -1

Klaus is back in the bath. Bookends to his tourture. +1

Klaus is haunted by memories of Vietnam this time instead of just ghosts in general. Trauma. +1

I made eye contact with Aidan Gallagher again. +1

Klaus doesn’t want to talk about Vietnam with Five because the last time he tried to connect, Five jumped away. +1

Five looks really excited to connect about time travel with somebody in his family. -1

Five doesn’t care that Klaus was tortured by Hazel and Cha Cha. +1

Five, Klaus has been tortured and then was in some war (Five wouldn’t know yet) for almost a year. This proves that Five’s decision making is impared. Presumably by his hangover. +1

Diego takes out his dagger from episode 1’s bank robbery. This is significant because of something Patch said. That Diego runs around as a vigilante to prove that what he did with the Umbrella Academy had meaning. Now that that has gotten Patch killed indirectly, he feels upset and confused. The dagger that he used as a child is now a symbol of what he did to Patch. -1

The fridging of Detective Patch. Yes, I’m still pissed about it and will continue to be pissed about it. +2

At this point, Klaus doesn’t know about Mom’s “death”. And I don’t think Five does either. The Umbrella Academy of Not Talking To Each Other should be the school’s full name. +1

Allison and Cha Cha don’t see each other when getting into or out of the chairs right across from one another. +1

Allison is doing the equivalent of social media stalking her sister’s boyfriend. Smart. -1

Extra Ordinary bites everyone in the ass. Thanks, Vanya. +1

Five and Allison have the same slow, blocky handwriting. Did Reggie teach them to write as slowly and as large as possible? +1

Hazel and Agnes’s flirting. It’s cute? -1

Klaus ran down the stairs wearing Grace’s heels and broke his jaw when they were twelve. Trauma. +1

Diego can’t park for shit either. Diego and Five need to learn how to park vehicles. +1

Klaus’s little “Hey, Dave” when he sees Dave’s picture. -1

The show fakes out the vet confronting Klaus. Clever. -1

Diego is genuinely concerned for Klaus. -1

The vet is itching for a fight. Asking a drunk person to apologize? Dumbass. +1

“I’d like to apologize...that you are depriving some village of their IDIOT!” -1

Klaus and Diego get into a bar fight in less than five minutes. Checks out. -1

Agnes sees the birds the way Hazel sees normal people. I like the analogy. -1

Agnes does not own Griddys. Who does? Is she the manager or something? +1

Hazel and Agnes theme. -1

Diego’s face when Klaus says he lost the only person he ever loved more than himself. He’s thinking, “Klaus lost his Eudora”. -1

No way in hell Five would have been able to get up as high as the chalk goes. +1

Five is still using Vanya’s book as a notebook. Checks out. -1

The rifle Five pulls out looks a lot like the one he points at the Handler. It doesn’t look like the one he pointed at Kennedy. Why would Five lie about this? +1

Luther, you murdered people when you were twelve. +1

Luther dangles Dolores out the window by her neck. Logical, yeah. Fucked, also yeah. +1

The level of concern Five has for Dolores. -1

Also, well done creating tension, show. My heart was beating like crazy. -1

The Gigue from Partita No. 2 in D Minor by Bach is one of my favorite pieces.  -1

No one stops playing like that. +1

Allison takes her not-stalking info to Vanya and presents it really accusingly. At this point, Vanya is sick of your shit, Allison. +1

“You’re trying to dig up dirt on a guy that I like, who does that?” Everyone with an internet connection does this for the people they care about. What Allison did was hella extra though. +1

Vanya is getting more assertive. -1

Vanya is a dick to Allison. +1

“They’re a real frickin’ mess”. Understatement of the century. +1

Cha Cha wouldn’t know about the moon mission because Vanya’s book came out before it. Also, Vanya wouldn’t know that Five could time travel. +1

Diego you haven’t slept at all, as soon as you drop you’re gonna sleep like a baby. +1

The motel clerk doesn’t notice Cha Cha’s pistol, which was directly in his line of sight. +1

Diego doesn’t notice Klaus’s footsteps. +1

“Yeah but you also told me that licking a nine-volt battery would give me pubes” “We were eight”. Sibling culture. -1

Klaus saves Diego from gunfire the best he can. Even though Diego still gets shot, sin off for Klaus’s heroics. -1

“Was this all part of your master plan” “Shut up”. Sibling culture. -1

Audition panels are always dicks. +1

If you start an audition the way Vanya just did with the shaky bow contact, you’re fucked. +1

Imogen is a great violinist. Ellen Page is not. It’s really easy to see when they switch out. +1

Allison goes to Leonard’s place with no backup. Come on, even Diego has backup! +1

Allison doesn’t tell Five and Diego about how she got into Leonard’s house when they were breaking in again later. The window would have been much better than breaking the door. +1

Vanya’s powers are distorting her music. It sounds like her intonation is gone. Yet the conductor looks impressed. +1

Allison almost finds Helen Cho’s body. +1

The camera cuts to the attic entrance to show that it will be significant later on. -1

The Hargreeves car has HERMES on its licence plate. A.) nice comics reference. B.) Hermes is the God of Travelers. C.) Of course Reggie has a vanity licence plate. -3

Five and Luther connecting over their forced isolation. -1

Also, Aidan Gallagher and Tom Hopper play off each other really well. -1

“I’ve lived a long life, but you’re still a young man. You got your whole life ahead of you. Don’t waste it.” Luther’s face amuses me. -1

Five threatening while Hazel and Cha Cha doesn’t look ridiculous. I genuinely belive it. Props to Aidan Gallagher. -1

Five and Luther look so confused by Klaus and Diego arriving in an ice cream truck. This is such an underrated scene. -3

Ride of the Valkyries -1

Klaus’s little wave. -1

“Whee” I love Ben. -2

I want to know how they shot this. The behind the scenes after the Handler showed up and stopped time must have been strange to look at. -1

Luther protects Five with his whole body without question. -1

Five puts his hands in his pockets but then they’re behind his back in the next shot with no motion to explain it. +1

The Handler is a creep. She’s into Five. +5

Where and When did Five get that pistol? +1

So many memes come from this scene. -2

Five doesn’t have his finger anywhere near the trigger in some shots, but in others it’s two seconds from shooting the Handler. What’s up with that? +1

The Handler is so, so creepy. The hand caressing Five’s cheek? Eww. That all but confirms that she wants to be his Mrs. Robinson. +5

Kate Walsh plays an excellent villain. -1

Five made a deal with the devil because it was his only option. -1

[Gerard Way and Ray Toro’s “Happy Together” playing.] -1

Cha Cha was planning to abandon Hazel. Otherwise why else would she open the briefcase? +1

Ben gets shotgun. -1

Klaus finally gets to flip off Hazel and Cha Cha. -3

“SHIIT” Cha Cha, you got played. I love my smart boys. -5

Vanya did well at her audition! I’m proud of her! -1

Leonard knows the exact words Reggie would have used to describe Vanya’s powers. And he uses them here. +1

“I got first chair!” Congratulations, Vanya! -2

“No one’s ever believed in me like this.” Fuck you, Reggie. +1

Having sex with Leonard/Harold desereves a couple sins. +2

Helen Cho and Reggie’s book reveal. Leonard is a creep confirmed. +2

Dr. Pogo? More like Dr. Complicit in Reggie’s Bullshit. +1

Overall Review: 

In case you couldn’t tell, this is one of my favorite episodes. Finally, all of our characters are invested in the apocalypse plot, even indirectly. Vanya’s powers emerge, the Handler and the Commission enter the chat, and Leonard is revealed to be a murderer and to have Reggie’s diary. Things are really heating up in this episode. 

I had a really hard time finding anything wrong that wasn’t character flaw is character flaw and villain character is a villain. This is a fun episode. If I wanted to show someone an episode of The Umbrella Academy to get them hooked onto the show, I would show them this episode. It moves at a perfect pace and has enough mystery to keep everyone on their toes. When I first watched this episode, I decided to stay up all night and binge the rest of them. Before I was watching one every couple of days. Episode five is what really hooked me. Props to everyone that worked on it!  

I want to give a special shout out to Sean Sullivan. He did really well playing Five! I hope we see him in season 2 for that one scene. If you’ve read the comics then you know the one. 

Sins: 4

Sentence: Watching Klaus’s breakdown after Vietnam was more than punishment enough.