#i wanna add more tags for scud but he barely has any on tumblr in the first place ��

[dix0nvix3n]

I need Daryl and Scud to both hug me so tight that they crush all my bones but fix my heart :')

Oh god same. This made me think about what their hugs/ cuddling with them is like. Scud is the type to be very clingy when hugging you/ is very fidgety. Scud would constantly be playing with your hair and drawing patterns on your skin and the moment you try to pull away, he's pulling you back. Hugging and cuddling ends on his terms. Daryl doesn't outwardly show that clinginess as much as Scud (even though he is inwardly that clingy teehee) but he still does the mindless shapes and playing with your hair but he usually just wants to keep his arms as tight around you as possible, he loves being that protector for you, he loves that you feel safe in his arms. Both of them run like furnaces though, really good for when you're cold but if you're burning up and they're asleep holding you they both have a strong grip so it seems like you just have to suffer the rest of the night ehejhejeh! Also, they both have hands of hard work in very different ways but I just think their hands would feel so nice rubbing up and down your back.

[splendidlyimperfect]

Gray hasn���t seen Natsu in years - not since he moved away with his boyfriend Joel and Natsu stopped texting him. A chance run-in at a bar brings Natsu back into Gray’s life, but the encounter puts Gray in danger when Joel finds out. Natsu quickly realizes that Gray's stuck in a cycle of violence, and wants to help him escape. But leaving isn't that easy, and sometimes loving someone might not be enough.

Chapter Summary: Natsu and Gray have been together for two years, and Gray's ready to get the hell out of their small town and to go college together.

Chapters (6/21):  1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster, Gray Fullbuster/Original Male Character(s) Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rape Aftermath, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Natsu just wants to help, but Gray feels like he can’t leave, Non-Linear Narrative, Trans Character, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, ftlgbtpride2019, Coming Out, First Love, Angst with a Happy Ending, I promise

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isn’t love all we need? is it love?

heart·break | \ ˈhärt-ˌbrāk noun : crushing grief, anguish, or distress

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ii august six years ago

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“You guys are disgusting.”

Erza tosses a wadded-up piece of paper at Gray’s head and he ducks, making a face at her when she misses. He’s sitting in Natsu’s lap, which is probably not helping Natsu focus on the math homework he has to do for summer school.

“You and Jellal aren’t any better,” Gray insists. Natsu hums in agreement, kissing Gray’s shoulder. Gray’s wearing a tank top today, and Natsu’s been taking advantage of Gray’s bare skin all morning. Gray really, really doesn’t mind.

Gray sighs, leaning back into Natsu and reaching for his coffee. Natsu nips at Gray’s earlobe and Erza groans, squeezing her eyes shut and standing up.

“Get outta here,” she says fondly, gesturing to the front door. “If you’re going to make out, I don’t wanna watch.”

Natsu laughs, nudging Gray off his lap and pushing himself to his feet. Gray studies his face for a moment before letting Natsu help him to his feet. Natsu’s smiling, but something in his eyes isn’t quite right. It hasn’t been for a while now, but Natsu won’t talk about it.  

“Wanna go for a drive?” Natsu asks, slipping his fingers between Gray’s.

“Yes, go, get it out of your system and be back in time for movie night,” Erza says. As they make their way out the door and into the dry summer heat, she shouts, “don’t forget to pick up the popcorn!”

Gray turns and waves to her as they hop into Natsu’s car, immediately cranking down the windows. Natsu flips on the tape player and starts humming along to the Pink Floyd song that plays.

“What’s up with you?” Gray asks as Natsu backs out of Erza’s driveway, then turns down the street that will take them to the highway.

Natsu shrugs, reaching over and squeezing Gray’s thigh. Gray’s wearing a skirt today because his dad was home when he left, and he’s still Ellie except in his head. He still hasn’t even told Erza and Natsu about his name – he’s too scared to say it out loud. Natsu calls Gray his boyfriend in private, but to everyone else, Gray’s still a girl.

Continue reading on AO3

Natsu is uncharacteristically silent for most of the drive. The fields stretch out on either side of them, bright yellow with canola, and a few white wisps of cloud scud across the sky, occasionally casting shadows into the car.

Gray kicks his feet up onto the dashboard, reaching over and running his fingers through Natsu’s hair. Natsu leans into the touch, slipping his hand up Gray’s thigh until his fingers are brushing the edge of Gray’s skirt.

A thrill runs through Gray, settling right in the pit of his stomach and radiating out until his entire body feels hot. His fingers tighten in Natsu’s hair and Natsu laughs, sliding his fingers up to the edge of Gray’s underwear.

“You’d better focus on the road,” Gray says, breath hitching as Natsu’s fingers brush against him.

“Mm,” is all Natsu says in response, and Gray can feel want and tension radiating from him – the pent-up energy of spending the last week apart. Between Gray’s dad’s rules and Natsu’s summer school, they haven’t had much time together lately, and it’s driving Gray crazy. Fantasizing about Natsu with his hand between his legs isn’t quite as good as the real thing.

As soon as they pull into the abandoned lot off the highway, Natsu throws the car in park and then turns to Gray, pulling him into a kiss. Gray opens up to him immediately, pulling on Natsu’s hair and moaning against his lips.

“Back seat,” Natsu whispers, separating from Gray just long enough to move positions.

“I missed you,” Gray gasps as he’s pulled onto Natsu’s lap, legs on either side of Natsu’s hips. They barely fit back here – Gray’s head is brushing the roof of the car and Natsu’s knees hit the back of the front seat – but Gray doesn’t care. He tips his head back as Natsu presses hot kisses down his neck.

“Missed you too,” Natsu murmurs against Gray’s skin. He slips one hand up under the back of Gray’s shirt, pulling Gray against his chest, and uses the other to push Gray’s skirt out of the way.

“Fuck,” Gray whispers as Natsu thrusts his hips up.  Natsu’s already hard and he hits just the right spot on Gray, who leans forward and buries his face in Natsu’s shoulder.

“That feel good?” Natsu asks, voice low in Gray’s ear. Gray nods, sliding his hands down to the hem of Natsu’s t-shirt and tugging it up over his head. Natsu grinds up against Gray again and Gray rocks his hips forward, moaning as Natsu’s cock rubs against him.

“Get your pants off,” Gray says, shifting off of Natsu’s lap. Natsu wiggles out of his jeans as best he can in the cramped space, tossing them into the front seat before turning back to Gray.

Natsu presses on Gray’s shoulder until he’s lying back on the seat – luckily it’s wide enough for Natsu to fit between Gray’s legs, although one of Gray’s feet slips into the footwell. Natsu leans down to kiss Gray again, hot and demanding, and he slips his hand down between Gray’s legs.

“Can I?” he asks breathlessly, and when Gray whispers please, Natsu tugs Gray’s underwear down. His tongue moves against Gray’s as his fingers find Gray’s clit, and Gray bucks his hips up, chasing the sensation. Gray’s fingers dig red marks into Natsu’s back, and when Natsu slips a finger inside of him, Gray tips his head back, panting and groaning.

“F-fuck, Natsu, th-there,” he gasps as Natsu adds another finger, thumb rubbing against Gray’s clit. His other hand pushes Gray’s shirt up, then cups Gray’s breast, squeezing gently.

Gray wants to return the favor, wants to make Natsu feel good too, but he can’t focus on anything except the way Natsu’s touching him. Natsu tugs down the cup of Gray’s bra and leans in, catching Gray’s nipple between his teeth.

“Natsu,” Gray whispers, bringing his hands up to run through Natsu’s hair. Natsu hums, flicking his tongue over Gray’s nipple before adding a third finger and pressing harder against Gray’s clit. Gray can feel a quiet desperation to Natsu’s movements, and if he wasn’t so lost in the touch, he’d ask what was wrong.

Gray’s whole body is tingling, and he aches with want – this is as far as they’ve gone before, and part of Gray wants more. Wants to feel Natsu inside of him. He almost asks, but he’s not on birth control and you can’t buy condoms in Magnolia without everyone finding out.

Instead, he grinds up against Natsu’s hand, then reaches down and grabs Natsu’s hips.

“C’mere,” he says, and Natsu pulls back uncertainly. Gray pulls Natsu up until he’s resting between Gray’s legs, and Natsu catches on quickly. He’s still wearing his boxers, and he grinds down against Gray, both of them shaking at the sensation.

Natsu leans down and kisses Gray, panting into his mouth as he thrusts against Gray over and over. Gray runs his hands up and down Natsu’s back, feeling the way Natsu tenses under his fingertips.

“Fuck, Ellie,” Natsu whispers, and the name is almost enough to pull Gray out of the moment, but Natsu feels so fucking good against him. Gray grabs Natsu’s ass and pulls him tighter, grinding up against him until Natsu’s making loud, pleading noises into Gray’s mouth.

Then Natsu gasps and presses his head against Gray’s shoulder, hips stuttering as he comes. Gray kisses Natsu’s cheeks, his eyelids, his forehead, running his fingers through Natsu’s hair as Natsu pants against his skin.

As soon as Natsu’s breathing is back to normal, he pulls Gray into a fierce kiss.

“You didn’t…” he trails off, pressing his forehead to Gray’s. Gray shakes his head, about to insist that it’s fine when Natsu pushes himself back on the seat and slides down between Gray’s legs.

“Natsu,” Gray whispers as Natsu’s tongue presses against his clit and Natsu slips his fingers back inside Gray. “F-fuck, gods…”

Gray reaches down and grabs Natsu’s hair, tipping his head back and letting out an embarrassingly loud whine as Natsu sucks on his clit. Gray’s already so close, and it only takes Natsu curling his fingers for Gray to come, back arching off the seat as his whole body tenses to a peak and then lets go. A hot, tingling sensation runs through Gray, centered on the soft strokes of Natsu’s tongue, and Gray rides it out for a long time before he goes limp, panting with exhaustion.

Natsu sits up slowly, wiping his face with the back of his hand before reaching down to help Gray into a sitting position. Gray hums happily, leaning against Natsu as his pounding heart slowly starts to come back down to normal.

“You’re amazing,” Gray whispers, tipping his head back onto Natsu’s shoulder and kissing him. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” Natsu murmurs against Gray’s lips. He runs his fingers across Gray’s stomach and Gray arches up into the touch, then curses when he slams his knee into the back of the seat.

“God, I can’t wait until we have our own place and don’t have to fit back here to make out,” he grumbles.

Natsu stills immediately. Gray frowns and pulls back, turning until they’re facing each other.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. Natsu shakes his head, turning to kiss Gray’s palm.

“Nothing,” he says, just like he has the last hundred times Gray’s asked him. Gray gives him a frustrated look and Natsu sighs, reaching up and brushing Gray’s hair out of his face.

“Let’s get dressed,” Natsu says eventually.

They both shuffle awkwardly back into their clothes. Natsu tosses his dirty boxers into the trees at the edge of the lot and tugs his jeans on, then slips back into the driver’s seat. He doesn’t turn the car on, just sits with the window rolled down as he taps his fingers on the steering wheel.

Gray feels a thread of fear twist its way up from his stomach, and he tries to push it away as he reaches out for Natsu’s hand. Natsu twines their fingers together, squeezing Gray’s hand tightly before looking up at him.

“I do love you, Ells,” he says, voice breaking on the name. “So much. I just…” He rubs his face, tipping his head back against the seat. “I got accepted at Danston.”

The information takes a second to process, and Gray gives Natsu a confused look. Danston is on the other side of the country.

“You…” The anxiety thread grows longer, wrapping around Gray’s stomach and squeezing, hard. “I thought—we both got accepted at Elmsworth, you said…”

“I know,” Natsu says, and Gray’s heart cracks as he watches tears spill down Natsu’s cheeks. “I know, I’m so sorry, but it’s—I got a scholarship, they’re gonna pay for all four years, and…”

Gray can’t breathe.

“But… the apartment…”

They’re supposed to move in together. They’d planned to drive up to Elmsworth this weekend to look for a place to live – it’s only a few hours away from Magnolia, but far enough that things could change. Gray could be himself. They could live together and go to school together and build a life together.

“I know,” Natsu whispers, wiping as his face. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, I—I love you so much, I just, I can’t turn this down. Mom can barely afford to pay for college and I’ll be getting a full ride, and I’ve wanted this for so long.”

I’ve wanted you for so long, Gray thinks, and he tries to pull his hand away from Natsu’s, but Natsu holds tighter. More threads knot themselves in Gray’s chest – anger and disbelief and a deep sense of hurt.

“I don’t…” Gray can’t think. It’s all too loud, and all he can hear is the frantic beating of his own heart. “P-please…” He’s not sure what he’s asking for.

Natsu’s crying openly now, sniffling and wiping frantically at the tears with the heel of his palm. “I d-don’t want to leave you,” he whispers.

Then don’t, Gray thinks, but he can’t say the words out loud.

“I’m sorry,” Natsu says again, hiccupping through his tears and looking at the space between the two of them. “I w-wanted to tell you, I just—I don’t w-want… I’m gonna miss you so f-fucking much.”

“When?” Gray asks, voice barely audible. Natsu doesn’t answer at first and Gray looks up at him, chest aching. Part of him doesn’t want to know the answer, because then he’s going to have to think about saying goodbye.

It’s too much.

“Next week,” Natsu whispers, and a sob breaks out of his chest.

A week. They were supposed to have forever, a new beginning, and now all Gray gets is seven more days with the boy he loves.

“I’m sorry,” Natsu chokes out through the tears. Gray squeezes his eyes shut, then leans across the console, pulling Natsu into his arms.

“I know,” Gray says, kissing Natsu’s forehead. “It’s okay.”

It isn’t, but there’s nothing else he can say.