#i wacked at it with a broom but i didn’t know if i killed it or just made it fall

[bisexualsoup]

there was a spider in my room and i was so so brave about it (high pitched screaming and heart palpitations)

[glitterytidalwavedragon]

Sesshomaru x Modern Reader (Part 1 fanfic/headcannon)

This one I decided to do something uncanny. It has been done before but I haven’t seen any here on tumblr but I am sure it exists. I think its time we flipped the script on the Inuyasha fandom with this one.

I am currently looking at three drafts I had written for this character. Its funny, its all the same title but all very different story lines. I might post them as their own thing, but I am unsure yet. There is so much editing and things which need to get done.

Anyway, I hope you all like this head cannon! Please enjoy!

Working in a shrine was something you didn’t imagine doing too much. So when you moved to Japan and it was the only job you could get, you were kind of ‘meh’ about it.

However, the people who owned the shrine were rather nice and even rented out a room to you, a room which belonged to a young teen who once lived at the house. Higurashi shrine was rather nice, but cold in the winter.

It happened as you were sweeping the stone walkway. A light was coming from the shed with the old well.

You walked towards it, wondering if there was someone inside with a flashlight, but then the light faded and you stood there, broom in hand, waiting to see if it was teenagers checking out ‘the old creepy well’ rightly called the bone eater’s well.

Taking another step forward, you jumped and screamed when a hand broke through the wooden door before an eerie green steam came off it and began melting the door.

Sesshomaru was mad. Not only had a sparing match not gone his way, but his brother knocked him into the well and then had the nerve to build a shrine house around it.

Did the idiot really think he killed him?

Ripping off the decaying door, Sesshomaru did not expect to find a shaking priestess hugging a broom.

Gold eyes scanned you over, before looking around. The smells were unfamiliar, the land different. His gazed travelled across the shrine before resting back on you.

“Where is Inuyasha?”

Your stuttering and fear made him closed his eyes, the only thing keeping him from rolling them. How easy to fear humans were, and a priestess no less-

His eyes snapped open when he felt it hit his head. You both locked eyes, a glare on your face as your broom laid on his head where you had wacked him.

“Don’t scare people like that!!!! You almost gave me a heart attack and you somehow melted a door you need to replace!”

You continued ranting as he registered that, not only did you wack him with a dirty cleaning tool, but you were yelling at him like a child. There was only one other human who had the nerve to yell at him like this.

Inuyasha’s woman.

In a second Sesshomaru was in your face. Being so close you noticed the nose twitch. “You do not smell like her.”

You looked at where he was and where he was now. Confused by his speed. “Weren’t you…AH!”

The demon grabbed the back of your head, hand tangled in your hair before yanking upward. It was painful, scary and shocking he could lift you off your feet.

“You do not know who you insult girl.”

“OW! OW! OW! THIS HURTS YOU JERK!”

Sesshomaru was used to humans fighting back, struggling, but you would once more surprise him. The punch made him drop you and turn his head. You landed hard on the ground.

Rubbing your bottom, you looked up. “That’s what you….” Your words died when eyes landed on red ones.

You were so dead.

“DEMON BEGONE!”

Both you and Sesshomaru would be hit by salts. Eyes now back to their yellow color, Sesshomaru could almost crack a smile with how angry he was. But the familiar scent caught his attention.

Kagome’s scent was on the old man and the woman who ran after him. She would gasp and correctly identify him as Sesshomaru, Inuyasha’s brother Kagome had told her all about.

So he was in this ‘other world’ Rin would describe to him when he visited her. The young girl often was told stories by the Priest.

Amber eyes locked back on you. From Sesshomaru’s understanding, demons did not exist here, so he was told, therefore you had no other reason but to think him human.

“I will overlook your insults this day but let this be a warning. Next time I will cut you down.”

That is when you notice the two very real looking swords. This was before watching in horror as Ms. Higurashi invited him inside.

*~*

This is more of a mini fanfic rather than a head cannon. I wanted to get this part out before the head cannonly bullet point one. I think this would be cute, terrifying and different.

Part 2

[in-tua-deep]

Hufflepuff Five is so good! Are the Hargreeves lives as students as adventurous like the main crew from HP? What about the Ministry of Magic? Would they get involved if someone caught wind of the sibling’s powers that weren’t just magic?

Their lives are SO wack honestly like, they just vibe. They just are going through their magical youth being absolute feral children who don’t trust adults as far as they can throw them while trying to hide their weird funky powers and also ravenously going through magical feats like they’re going out of style

Luther is every sibling’s go-to practice partner because apparently durability extends to being like? Slightly magic resistant? Basically if you hit Luther with a spell it will only be like, maybe half power? So the siblings use him as a magical shield half the time and an experiment the other half and Luther just Suffers Through This until it all goes wrong and he ends up as a werewolf, oops

(But at least Ben is alive! Honestly the only reason Luther wasn’t straight up mauled to death was a combo of his durability, Ben’s proficiency in healing magic, and Ben managing to befriend the acromantulas)

(Luther eventually gets a sense of humor about this after long years of working on accepting himself and constantly threatens to bite his siblings or makes comments about them looking extra tasty when they irritate him)

Allison is a quidditch star, super popular and athletic as all hell. She probably ends up being the Slytherin team captain, honestly. Allison is all glamor and charisma and in her later years of hogwarts has an absolute blast. Allison is very much functional passing so she’s usually the front man to get the professors off their backs, but she also is the front man for a lot of the shit that the family sell for extra spending money. Five and Ben might make potions, but Allison rules the underground black market in slytherin with an iron fist (which gets them into shenanigans involving other kids who Owe Debts)

Diego is on the gryffindor quidditch team and so him and Allison are constantly at each other’s throats on the pitch (Allison sometimes rumors him during matches when she gets within earshot which makes all of the siblings yell at him but she maintains that he gets to use his stupid powers to score points so she should get to as well). Diego gets roped into everything because he’s super soft. He starts a lot of fights because he has vigilante genes so he serves a lot of detentions. His house tolerates him losing them points because the man is a wizard with a quaffle

(Diego and Allison actually practice a lot together, which their respective teams are like HMMMM over but they’re siblings and slytherin knows that Allison would never hesitate to knock Diego off his broom and wave cheerily as he falls to his death, and gryffindor is aware that Diego can, should, and must throw a ball directly at Allison’s dumb face if she gets too close to him because of the Cain Instinct)

(Honestly Allison and Diego do a LOT for interhouse unity, showing that you can still be ride or die for each other while also wanting greatly to kill each other uwu)

Ben is too independent for his own good, which is what gets him into trouble. He likes gardening, and he likes herbs, and sometimes he’s just GOTTA go into the forbidden forest on a full moon to gather these very specific ingredients, c’mon. He also just. Likes spending time in the forbidden forest. He’s Hagrid’s favorite student because he doesn’t bat an eye at all the weird magical creatures, bc homeboy got an eldritch horror in his navel. Ben makes friends with the acromantulas (who have a healthy respect for him after the Horror ate a few of them), patiently avoids the centaurs, and bribes the pixies into giving him their shed wings through liberal application of jam stolen from the Hogwarts kitchens. 

You know what Allison is functional passing and Ben is distinguished passing, all their teachers assume that Ben is the most put together of them but they’re WRONG. They haven’t seen Ben at two in the morning yanking Vanya out of ben because if they don’t break into greenhouse four and help those poor fucking plants the first years are tending to they’re all going to DIE and that’s not fair??? ben is single handedly going to save all those poor plants (and all those first year’s grades)

Vanya is just VIBING, he ends up coming out as trans in fourth year and gets to be roommates with Ben which is pretty sweet. If only Ben didn’t drag him into shenanigans?? All the teachers are like “ah yes Vanya, such a quiet boy not like his siblings at all” but Vanya can will should and must climb onto the roof of the astronomy tower to play his violin because He Just Likes To Be Tall. Vanya once punched a snobby ravenclaw kid in the nose and then stared them down saying “the teachers will never believe you.”

Vanya steals Luther to practice his powers with in unused classrooms the most?? he’s durable. he’ll be fine if Vanya blasts him into a wall with his powers lol

Vanya’s solution to all their problems is “do you want me to blow it up with my powers?” or “do you want me to kill them for you?” 

(All of the siblings now refuse to duel with Vanya except for Luther bc Vanya is RUTHLESS. He WILL murder his siblings (almost) given the chance. They’re all so lucky that Ben is so good at healing and carries extra vials of healing potions on his person otherwise Madame Pomfrey would be VERY CONCERNED)

Five and Klaus probably get into the most shenanigans? Klaus gets less and less afraid of ghosts the more he runs into nice ones like Fred Weasley. Fred also lovingly nurtures Klaus’s absolutely terrible sense of humor and encourages him to prank the whole school. Klaus knows ALL the secret passageways thanks to Fred, a previous owner of the Maurauder’s map, so he’s just like. Constantly in the walls. He once dropped out of the ceiling to get to transfiguration in time and nobody even commented on it because Klaus is just Like That.

(A few people see Klaus’s boney elbows and knobbley knees and thinks he’s a good target for bullying just because he’s a slytherin and interhouse awfulness absolutely it at an all time high so recently after the war. YEAH his siblings step in and put the fear of god into any bullies, but Klaus fights like a cornered raccoon.)

Five is just way too smart and curious for his own good. He likes to poke around, figure things out, and also make money. Five does people’s homework, charges them for potions or rune work, tutors, dismantles shit in the chamber of secrets, ALSO explores the secret passageways (and finds some that weren’t on the map), is lovingly bullied into Friendship Activities with his housemates, breaks into the other houses’s common rooms for funsies, and keeps getting fed by the house elves who found out he can ‘apparate’ like them (without a wand) and have apparently adopted him against his will

Five is the sibling who has his fingers in like. ALL the pies. and just constantly pops up and drags them into things. Five will be helping Klaus with potions homework then glance up and tell Diego he’s cashing in the favor he’s owed for carving runes into Diego’s knives and that Diego now gets to break into Douglas Eddington’s room to steal back Lana Delwich’s diary so that Five can trade it to Lana for her rare Solomon Babik chocolate frog card which Five can give to Barnaby Beeson in exchange for a Large Distraction of Five’s Choice and a sketchy book on ward breaking which Five needs so he can break into the headmaster’s office to get a confiscated dark magic book that has some information Five needs to alter a potion that he’s probably going to make Luther drink later

Five is the sibling who is like “Ugh, I thought I was trading for some nundu ingredients but now i have a Whole Baby Nundu in the basement :/”

Which, of course, Klaus wants to keep despite the poison breath.

“This is literally one of the most dangerous magical creatures, we are not keeping it.” Luther says, unimpressed. However, he definitely has it cradled in his arms and makes kissy faces at it when he thinks no one is looking. (Apparently baby toxic nundu breath only makes Luther sneeze, so there’s that?)

“If you guys are arrested for smuggling I am not bailing you out.” Is Allison’s only decree about the matter.

Honestly I wouldn’t be shocked if someone DID eventually find out about one of the siblings’ powers - however, they would come to entirely the wrong conclusion about them?? Because this is a world of MAGIC and so everything magical has to have a magical explanation, right???

Luther is durable as all fuck???? Uhhhhh maybe he has some like. Troll blood or giant blood something back in his family line, obviously not something he would ever want the world to know about bc of species-ism

Allison can make you do whatever you want with her words????? Maybe she’s part veela? With that charm appeal?

Five is doing. Wandless apparation?? I mean, that’s rare as FUCK but wandless magic is,,, grudgingly accepted though it’s usually only used for small or very familiar spells and not usually something as complex as apparation but OKAY just sit him down and forbid him from doing it anymore bc boy boutta be SPLICED or some shit

Klaus can. Klaus can talk to ghosts. Who are not full ghosts. Hmm. huh. Maybe it’s?? A family ability??? a super rare one? like being a metamorphagus? (What the fuck??????? what the FUCK???????)

Primarily the kids started off paranoid because they believed that their abilities indicated that they weren’t the same type of magic, and they didn’t want to be returned to their father, and then it progressed into “these abilities might make people scared of us (looking at you allison, with your imperius-ass abilites)” or “we can’t afford that kind of scrutiny or curiosity about our powers (they might find out luther is a werewolf or something idk)” and “if we are ‘desirable’ children with ‘rare abilities’ the government might try to split us up and adopt us into weird pureblood families or something OR might try to lock us up (like where would they even put Ben??)”

honestly if ben ever got found out he’d just deadpan “it’s a curse, hand me the black wormroot would you?” and be like “oh yeah it’s under control i just go vibe in the woods every so often and rip up a tree or something. I think the horror wants to be the whomping willow when it grows up actually, so just don’t get too close when i’m in the horror zone. if you can live with a murder tree on campus you can live with me on campus”

someone sees vanya fuck something up with his powers and is like ???? and Vanya is just like “accidental magic lol” 

“aren’t you... a bit... old for accidental magic...”

“accidental. magic.”

[im-totally-not-an-alien]

Final Fantasy prompts #48

1. Jenova moms Cloud, but he doesn't realize it's Jenova.

Everyone else recognizes her in all her purple tentacly glory, but say nothing because Cloud hasn't looked this happy in years. Maybe its OK to let him live a lie, if only for a little while...

Also, they're kinda afraid of her

2. "Why do you live all the way out in the sticks?" Cid growled, munching on an unlit cigarette.

"Cause I can do this." He said, before whistling and promptly falling onto his back.

"What the hell are you even doing-" Cid began before they were both swarmed by dogs.

Big dogs, medium dogs, fluffy dogs, dogs with small tails so many dogs. Many of whom where licking the blonds face where he lay.

Aka Cloud owns a cabin in the woods for the sole purpose of getting swarmed by wild dogs and letting them lick his depression away.

3. Time traveler Cloud, but not quite.

Its a 12 year old escaped expirement created by fusing Clouds and Sephiroths DNA. S2, as he was labeled, kidnapped Cadet Cloud and kept the struggling blond with him as he traveled to the northern crater.

He keeps referring to Cloud as Mother and Sephiroth as Father, something that freaks Cloud out and made Sephiroth highly curious.

Upon closer inspection, the silverette saw peices of himself in the boy, in his eye shape, in his fighting style, and especially in his personality.

S2 dotes on his Mother, giving him everything he desires, everything but his freedom.

Cloud just has to get used to his life of semi-luxury...and being brodal carried by S2 and every gods damned SOLDIER he meets apparently.

4. RM Cloud wacking Sephiroth in the face with a broom. The silverette just stares at his puppet and says, "Really?"

5. Cloud finding Sephiroth in a moment of weakness and deciding a bit of revenge was in order.

6. Slightly unhinged time traveler Sephiroth x Slightly unhinged time traveler Cloud

7. Yuffie stalking different members of AVALANCHE out of boredom, only to wind up saving one of thier lives

8. Reeves Cait Sith dolls go rouge and declare war on the remaining SOLDIERS, believing that the living J cells in thier bodies were harming the planet.

Reeve doesn't want to hurt his sons. But Cloud has become something of a baby brother to him, and he would never forgive himself if something were to happen to the stubborn blond

9. Time traver Cloud coming to Aerith for advice after he lands, but she immediately sensed the Calamity from the Stars in him and started screaming bloody murder.

He had to fight Reno and Rude and easily defeated them, but by the time he was done, Aerith had escaped, leaving a confused and distraught blond.

He gives Reno an alias to protect his younger self and then promptly decides to GTFO.

Aerith winds up running into Tseng and Angeal, and she spills the beans about the Cetra and her heritage, as well as the Calamity and her child.

Angeal tries not to vibrate with excitement, after all, it looks like his lifelong dream of saving the world might be coming true. It seemed further reinforced by the fact the blond broke into the tower and freed several expiraments and killed many of the scientists. He was seen running off with a red lion-wolf creature before they lost track of him.

He, Aerith, Genesis, and Sephiroth wind up joining a party together to stop him. They essentially blackmailed the company to keep them off thier backs while they saved the world.

Cloud however, joined up with Nanaki and Vincent, but was also being targeted by the AVALANCHE of this time as well as thier own mad scientist, Fuhito, who's almost giddy that three of the esteemed professor Hojo's powerful expirements have escaped and are "Up for grabs"

Cloud may or may not also have a deal going with Jenova, who is offering him guidance with his new abilities as well as love. He knows she's manipulating him, but he feels so lost and vulnerable. He let her in and he wasn't even sure if he regrets it.

Also Jenova manipulating Sephiroth and his group by convincing them that she's "The Goddess Jenova" and revealed that she's Sephiroths mom. She convices them that the blond is evil and must be stopped. No one questions why she only speaks to them when Aerith is away.

Yeah, Clouds not having a good time. Kinda based off of another prompt of mine and I felt the need to expand on it. So, yeah.

10. The president, his son and the directors are killed off by Reeve, who has finally taken a stand and did a hostile takeover of the company.

11. Time traveler Reeve?

Better, Cait Sith gains sentience and time travels

12. Sephiroth revives again after the events of DeepGround and grabs up Cloud, embracing him like a lover as he flies into the air with him.

He basically tells Cloud that he's defeated him three times in a row, he's fascinated by him, and that Clouds going to be his bride.

Cloud is not okay with this

As it turns out, neither is Tifa, Clouds girlfriend.

The ensueing catfight is glorious

13. Cloud gets catcalled more often than anyone in thier little group. Apparently, he's a living creeper magnet, he couldn't tell you how many times people have just disregarded his personal space, bought him crap expecting a 'favor' in return, randomly touched his hair, bugged him for his number or a date, strait up tried to follow him home, ect.

The sheer entitlement both men and women seem to think they have over him is astounding. It's gotten to the point everyone has noticed and became protective of him. The blond himself? He's not afraid to make someone swallow thier teeth, regardless of gender.

14. Angeal loves photography, everyone knows that.

What people don't know is that he takes pictures of anything he deems beautuful. Birds, trees, flowers, clouds...406 pictures of the moon and even more of the stars. That was fine.

The problem arose when Genesis snooped through Angeals computer/apartment and found his secret photo collection. He swiped it and brought it to Sephiroths office to go through it with him.

Everything was normal, until they found a gorgeous picture of Genesis igniting his surroundings in flame.

Then they found some pics of Sephiroth standing in the moonlight with Masamune drawn. They were both extremely flattered by how lovely these were...until it got wierder. There were pictures of monsters, Cadets, Angeal's pup, Zack, several a few pictures of a blond trooper, an anthropomorphic cat with a cape and crown and...Turks?!

The worst part, however, was when they noticed that not a single person, not even themselves, where looking at the camera.

The fact they didn't remember having thier picture taken chilled them further.

Aka Angeal might have an addiction. Or an obsession.

15. Cloud has had a crush on Zack for a long time, but when Zack starts play flirting with him he thinks he has a chance and makes his move...and is promptly rejected.

Cloud plays it off as a joke and Zack buys it. The heartbroken blond finds a place to hide and quietly sob his eyes out.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, for him, he gets found and comforted by the Lord of Loveless himself, Genesis Rhapsodos.

Genesis had followed the subtle sounds of sorrow with the intention of either taunting the individual or reciting Loveless to them, as he adored a literal captive audience...but this...this was different.

He found himself rocking the pretty lovesick fool in his arms and mentally kicked himself for winding up in this situation.

On the other hand, he managed to score a date.

Bonus: Time traveler Sephiroth causing a scene by hard core flirting with CC Cloud and destroying a building and a man with a single swipe of Masamune, thus getting the attention of the entire Shinra army.

Fortunately the battle between the Sephiroths was cut short when Time traveler Cloud intervened with a spray bottle full of Aeriths holy water and essentially held him at gunpoint (spray bottle point?) as he retreated.

He fled before anyone could do much of anything, thus leaving everyone involved with so many unanswered questions.

[omgrachwrites]

Falling Stars (Sequel to Tell A Tale of You and Me) Chapter Two

Pairing: Dean Thomas x Reader

Summary: In the midst of a brewing war you fall for one of your classmates, a boy that you used to know. When you have the chance to fight against evil, you fight for what you believe in.

Chapter Summary: Tensions rise between Umbridge and Harry, forcing Dean and Cass to be civil with one another. Meanwhile, competition arises on the Quidditch pitch.

Warnings: fluff, angst, mentions of death, swearing, sassy Harry

Words: 2645

Disclaimer: I haven’t read The Order of The Phoenix in so long so the timeline might be out of wack!

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this part, please let me know what you think and if you would like to be tagged! I love you all! xxx

previous part   masterlist   prequel   next part

Chapter Two - The Pink Toad

Dean woke up, shivering slightly in the drafty dormitories – with all the magic in Hogwarts he thought someone would have taken the initiative to make the castle warmer. He was in a bad mood already and for a moment he couldn’t think why and then, it hit him like a ton of bricks. The 5th year Gryffindors and Slytherins were going to be having their first lesson with Umbridge in Defence Against the Dark Arts. To hear other people talk about it, it seemed like she didn’t know what she was doing, they said that she should have stayed at the Ministry.

He mulled over his thoughts as he walked over to the window and watched the quiet grounds begin to stir beneath the glow of the rising sun. Dean couldn’t deal with another shit Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor. Dumbledore should have brought Lupin back – even if he was a werewolf – he had been the best Professor they’d ever had.

Though, it wasn’t all that bad, today Quidditch try outs were taking place tonight, he had wanted to try out for the team last year but all of the matches had been cancelled due to the Triwizard Tournament. He was itching to climb onto his broom and zip through the late summer air. Once Seamus was awake – he didn’t say a word to Dean, Seamus was the worst person ever in the morning – they both got dressed and made their way to The Great Hall. Dean’s insides were already aching with hunger.

Dean perked up even more when he smelled all the amazing breakfast food and he sat by Fred and George Weasley, piling toast and bacon onto his plate.

“You trying out for the team then, Thomas?” Fred asked – or it might have been George – the twins both had identical smirks on their faces. The Weasley twins had been on the Quidditch team since Dean’s first year, they were extraordinary beaters.

“Of course,” Dean grinned, feeling excitement course through his body, “tonight’s try outs are going to be a blast!”

“You guys haven’t heard?” Dean looked around at the sound of a voice and his heart dropped when he saw Harry nervously running his fingers through his hair, “the Slytherins must have gotten wind of our try outs tonight because they booked the pitch before Angelina had the chance. Our try outs have been pushed to Saturday,” he scowled.

“What?” the four boys gasped in horror and Dean looked over at the Slytherin table.

Cass was laughing with her friends as she raised a mug to her lips; her eyes flickered over to Dean for a moment before she looked back at her friends. She looked radiant and beautiful, like she didn’t have a care in the world and that pissed Dean off, he turned back to his friends with a frown.

“I bet that Cass had something to do with this, this is so like her,” he moodily stabbed at his food.

Seamus rolled his eyes as he shoved a piece of bacon into his mouth, “mate,” he started with his voice muffled, “you say that you don’t give a shit about her but, Merlin, I think you’re obsessed. Not everything that happens is her fault.”

In the back of Dean’s mind he knew himself that Seamus was right and it had probably had nothing to do with Cass. However, he was still so annoyed with her that he wouldn’t even entertain that idea.

On their way to class, Dean’s eyes impatiently searched through the sea of people in the corridor, “this isn’t a good idea mate,” Seamus scoffed.

“Please, just give us a second, yeah?” he offered his best mate a smile before going back to the task at hand and he spotted Cass as she was about to walk into class.

“Oi, Cass!” he called out to her, making her stop in her track and she gave him a surprised look as he caught up with her, “why would your team book the damn pitch for tonight? We were supposed to have our try outs.”

Cass rolled her eyes and Dean noticed the glimmer of disappointment in them and he almost felt guilty, “do I look like the team captain? Everything that goes wrong in your life isn’t my fault you know,” she hissed before storming into the classroom.

“Told ya,” Seamus snickered.

Umbridge hadn’t come down from her office yet so Dean contented himself with doodling a lion devouring a snake while Lavender and Parvati made a bird out of paper and had charmed it to soar through the air. As it flew over to Dean and Seamus, Dean laughed, “go on, Seamus. Hit it!” he goaded his best friend and Seamus landed a successful hit, blowing it off course. In the next second, it burst into flames making the class jump.

Dean scowled as a toad like woman stood at the front of the class wearing the ugliest shade of pink ever seen. He wrinkled his nose in disgust as a sickly sweet perfume smell wafted towards him. Umbridge started like all the other teaches had by explaining the importance of OWLS, before she handed out a beginners handbook.

“Your introduction to this subject has been uneven, probably due to the fact that you’ve had half breeds teaching you and whatnot,” there was mirth in her voice and it annoyed Dean massively.

“If you must know, Professor Lupin was the best teacher we’ve ever had. So what if he’s a werewolf?” most of the class murmured in agreement and Dean clenched his teeth in anger as Umbridge gave him a sweet smile.

“That will be five points from Gryffindor, Mr Thomas,” she let out a high pitched laugh that went right through Dean.

“Dean is right though! How is it Remus’ fault that he got bitten? He didn’t ask for that to happen! It shouldn’t make it impossible for him to get a job, he’s not dangerous,” Cass piped up.

Dean whirled around to look at her; her usually warm eyes were hard as she stared at Umbridge with a furious expression. Dean agreed with Cass though he hated to admit it and would never say it out loud. Cass made eye contact with Dean and her eyes softened as she smiled at him gratefully. Dean gulped and looked away.

Umbridge smirked as her nostrils flared but she didn’t tell Cass off. Instead, she smiled at a couple of people on the front row who had got their wands out, “oh, you can put those away, my dears.”

“We’re not going to be using magic?” Ron mumbled, his voice held all of the confusion that everyone else was feeling.

“Why on earth would you need to use magic dear?” she let out another annoying high pitched laugh.

“Oh, of course,” Harry gasped as he slapped a hand against his forehead, “because when Voldemort comes after all of us, the last thing we’ll need to know is defensive magic, dear me, the thought of it. Ron, how could you ask such a silly question?” sarcasm laced Harry’s voice, making Dean smirk to himself as everyone waited for Umbridge’s response with baited breath.

Umbridge barely flinched at the use of You-Know-Who’s real name and her sickly sweet smile almost faltered, “you and your tall tales, Mr Potter. The Ministry would be protecting everyone if the Dark Lord was back.”

Dean glanced over at Harry when he let out a scoff to see that Harry had his hands on the table, clenching his fists, “so, Cedric Diggory spontaneously combusted did he?” Harry’s tone was dry as he glared at Umbridge, “Voldemort killed him! And you’re an idiot for not admitting it!”

Someone near the back of the room gasped at Harry’s words and everyone got ready to watch Umbridge murder Harry. Umbridge’s face was drained of colour as she scrawled on a piece of parchment and simply said in a steady voice, “come here, Mr Potter,” when Harry stormed up to her desk, she gave him the parchment, “take this to Professor McGonagall, off you go dear,” Harry scoffed as he snatched it off her and stormed out of the room, not looking back.

The rest of the lesson continued in silence, nobody dared to speak to one another. At the end of the class, Cass caught up with Dean, “intense huh?”

Dean was still reeling from the shock of Harry’s words that he momentarily forgot the bitterness he had towards her, “yeah,” he laughed, scuffing his shoe against the floor.

“It was nice of you to speak up for Remus,” she smiled, leaning against the cold stone wall.

Dean shrugged nonchalantly as his cheeks grew hot and he tried to ignore the peaceful feeling in his chest, “thought it was only fair to defend the guy when he wasn’t there to defend himself,” he cleared his throat, “it was good of you to speak up for him too.”

“I would do anything and say anything for the people that I care about,” she looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes as she bit her lower lip and Dean swallowed nervously, “I thought you would know that by now,” she gave him a small smile and pushed off from the wall, “see you around,” she nodded at him and then she was off, walking down the corridor with Astoria.

“So, the both of you can have a civil conversation without biting each other’s head off,” Seamus smirked.

------------------------------------

As you stood with your back against the Quidditch stands you shivered in the freezing evening air as you watched the try outs, waiting for your turn to try out for the position of Keeper. Your teeth chattered as you stuck your hands in the inside of your coat and pulled the letter from your dad out of the inside pocket. You smiled down at the piece of parchment as you read over the words again in the perfect script. He was wishing you luck at the try outs, he knew how important Quidditch was to you.

All you wanted to do was make him proud, you knew that Harry made him proud but Harry had that effect on the adults in his life who loved him. It seemed so easy for him, he was a hero. You just wanted to make Sirius proud of who you were. Your breath came out as smoke as you watched your housemates zip through the sky in all directions. All you wanted to do was zip through the sky with them; hopefully it would warm you up. It was strange that Draco wasn’t trying out this year; he loved a bit of attention.

You jumped slightly as you felt warmth against your elbow and you glanced to the side to see Astoria holding a steaming cup of something hot, “this is for you, you look freezing,” she laughed as she passed you the cup.

You grinned at her as you lifted the cup to your lips and swallowed down the hot chocolate, humming at the thickness of it, it burned your tongue slightly but you didn’t care all that much, you were just thankful for the heat, “thank you so much,” you licked your lips as the hot drink warmed your insides, “what are you doing here? You hate Quidditch,” you narrowed your eyes as you realised just why she was here, “Draco’s not playing this year, sorry to disappoint you,” you laughed as she rolled her eyes.

“I’m not here for him Cass, I’m here for you. I know that I hate Quidditch, just don’t see the point of it all but I know how much you love it and you’re my best friend, so I came here to support you.”

Astoria’s words were so sweet and kind that you threw your arms around her in a tight hug, “I love you, you’re amazing. You know that?”

“Of course I know that,” she laughed, winking at you as she linked your arm through yours and leaned her head on your shoulder, “uh oh, incoming.”

You bit your lip as Dean, Harry, Seamus and Ron were coming out of the castle heading for the stands behind you. It seemed as though Harry and Seamus had put aside their rivalry in the name of Quidditch, the thought made you roll your eyes. What were they doing here? Were they here to sabotage you?

“What the hell are you guys doing here?” you turned around to face the Gryffindor boys, shouting against the howling wind.

Dean smirked, just enough for his dimples to be on display and even from here you could see his eyes flash with an emotion that you didn’t recognise, “I’ve missed out on Quidditch for the past two years, I’m not waiting till Saturday to be able to watch some! It’s got nothing to do with you,” he raised an eyebrow at you as he slouched against his chair, making you scowl at him.

Harry laughed as he shot you a smile, “and we wanted to see what form your players were on!” he would never tell you outright but you knew he was here to offer you some support and you appreciated it. You shook your head at the boys before turning back to watch the try outs, painfully aware of their eyes on you.

Finally, the captain looked at you, “Cass? C’mon, let’s go!” Astoria gave you a supportive smile and a pat on your shoulder as you walked onto the pitch, mounting your broom as you soared through the air to guard the hoops.

The first couple of throws the captain directed at you were easy saves; there wasn’t much spin on the Quaffle so you could have saved it with your eyes closed. However, every time you made a mediocre save, you could hear Astoria screaming as if you had made an amazing save and it made you laugh, she really didn’t understand Quidditch. You didn’t feel the cold anymore; the adrenaline you felt made it all go away

“C’mon! Give me a challenge!” you shouted to the troll like boy who was hovering on his broom, holding the Quaffle, he smirked at you as he sent the ball hard and fast with a lot of spin on it.

You kicked, caught and booted the ball with the end of your broomstick, sending it back to him and every time he caught it with a taken aback look on his face. There was a save that you almost didn’t make, it was too far off to the side but you caught it between the tips of your fingers. You heard the small crowd below you gasp and you glanced down to see Dean looked impressed – though he would never admit it – it only made him more handsome.

By the end of try outs, it was no question that you had been the best Keeper, and you were looking forward to practise the following week. As you walked towards Astoria she grinned at you, throwing an arm around your shoulders, “that was amazing! I can’t believe that you’re my best friend.”

You rolled your eyes at her words but you couldn’t help but smile a little, as you walked back into the castle together, desperate to get out of the cold night air, “oi, Cass!” you whipped around as you heard Dean calling after you.

Astoria gasped a little in delight as Dean jogged towards you, a competitive glint in his eye, “Gryffindor are going to kick your arse in the first match,” you laughed and it felt like things were better between you and Dean.

However, as the rest of the boys ran up to you, Dean’s expression dropped and his eyes went hard and cold again. It was obvious that apart from the competitive banter, nothing had changed.

------------------------------------

@approved-by-dentists @thefuturelawyer @a-miserable-hufflepunk @firelordmillie @seriouslysiriuss @sleep-i-ness @play-morezeppelin @pregnant-piggy @sleepingalaska @blisfvlll @rexorangecouny @findzelda @wangmangagavroche @hxrgreeves @ghostofstudentspast @they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon @my-unique-mind @im-an-angel-of-the-lord-you-ass @kashishwrites @fific7 @blackbirddaredevil23 @siriusblackspam @mads-bri​ @lilulo-12fanfiction​ @ihavenotthepleasure​ @tinymalscoffee​ @ur-riddikulus​ @obsssedwithjustaboutanything​ @ourloveisforthelovely​ @wheezyreads​ @artemis1orion​ @sushiims​ @aspiringsloth20​ @queenl04​ @smiithys​ @elayneblack​ @amelie-black​

[unfortunate-arrow]

Jack x Sage + sports

“I just don’t get the appeal of it,” Jack Whitten grumbled, flopping down onto the ground.

“What’s not to get?” Sage Carridan demanded, her hands on her hips as she stood above him. The light hit her hair just right, making it go a deep auburn.

“It’s like, yeah, we could totally kill you because bludgers are ridiculous, but like the rules are all wack. Playing in any condition? That’s how you get electrocuted or murdered.”

“No one’s getting murdered in Hogwarts quidditch, Jack!”

“Well, yeah, but still. It’s not nearly as exciting as football or rugby. Even hurling would be more exciting.”

“You just don’t like broomsticks.”

“I do perfectly well on a broom, thank you very much.”

“Yeah, you’re an amazing flier. Yet you don’t like quidditch!”

Jack shook his head and sat up, leaning his back against a nearby tree. He ran a hand through his hair, ridding it of the grass and twigs that had managed to get in it from lying on the ground.

“I don’t know, Sage. I just don’t see its appeal,” he muttered.

The Ravenclaw shot him a bit of a glare. He rolled his eyes.

“Identical twin doesn’t mean identical in personality. Hell, it doesn’t even mean that we’re exactly identical in appearance. I mean, Ben’s got that giant ass scar down his chest,” the Slytherin remarked.

“I know. I’m sorry. It is quite fascinating how he had the congenital defect and you didn’t. It must have been an environmental factor,” Sage mused and Jack smirked.

He knew exactly how to capture her interest sometimes. The differences in appearance between him and Benedict usually did it. And the most notable difference between the brothers was a large scar down the middle of Benedict’s chest from where he’d had heart surgery as an infant. Jack’s chest, on the other hand, was devoid of any scarring. Of course, he did have a rather noticeable scar on his upper left arm, but that was from a stupid stunt and not from a congenital issue.

“So, what football team, then?” Sage asked, bringing Jack out of his small trance.

“Galway United,” Jack responded.

“Galway? Aren’t you from Northern Ireland?”

“Yeah, but Dad and Uncle Robert grew up outside of Galway. Uncle Robert always had their games on.”

“Ah. Want to come to quidditch practice with me?”

“Not really.”

“Benedict will be there.”

“Sorry, Sage, I don’t really want to go.”

“Alright. I’ll see you later, then.”

“Yep. But I’ll walk with you.”

Jack pushed himself off the ground and stood up. He offered her his hand and smiled when she placed it into his own.

[ezekielbhandarivalleros]

I've seen your post about how your grandma treats you badly, Mind telling me more about how your currently feeling? How are things at House. Are you safe? If you need someone to talk to I'm here for that?

My grandma is a bad person, she gets mad over the simpist of things. Yesterday (The day I made the post you saw) she got mad about me not folding her clothes after doing the laundry, I didn't fold them because they wear sheets and curtains that she recently bought and hadn't used before so I didn't know where they should go. I left them on the floor to wait for her to see what I'd do next with them. She saw them and got really mad about not folding them (She doesn't fold my things when she does laundry so why should I do hers) and said things like "Your useless you don't help at home" and "from now on I'm not feeding you anymore, if you can't find anything to eat it's not my problem" as we started to argue. Then she told me to go throw the trash away but when I asked her are we going to make more trash before I go as she was making stew, and what if I left and she had to open a new can of tomatoes or cut up more onions and make a mess with all the skins left afterwards. I went to sit down and wait to be called so I could take the trash bag out as I wanted to do it in one trip and not go back and forth. She got really mad and Insulted me about the not taking it out. I was waiting for her to tell me if she was done and so i could take it out, what if I took it out and she had more trash to make where would she put it. After she got mad as I was taking the trash out I asked my grandma are is that all and she didn't reply to me. I asked my aunt who was in the kitchen with my grandma "Is that all I don't wanna have to drag a next bag away to the trash again" and I my grandma told her to not reply to me. When I came back I wanted to wack her with the broom, and even though I wanted to cut her head off I myself didn't want to go to jail if someone found out that I killed my grandma so I didn't do it. My Grandma at times says that if I don't find a proper job or go to collage at age 18 she'll call the police and have them kick me out. She's the kind of person acts all nice when guests come over but mean once none are around. I'll be sitting down watching tv and she'll get mad at over a ball that got lost, she'll keep complaining and whining and blaming it on me as most of the trouble is caused me but always with good reason on why I do it.

[pandylovepost]

what are your headcanons for andy and panchos relationships with the other characters in the kingdom? ❤❤❤ I love your blog!!

ohhh i love this question & tysm!! 🧡

it ended up being rlly long so here’s the cut ;)

Pancho

•Julien; Julien is like a brother or cousin to Pancho! He trusts the king more than anything after Julien basically saved .. well himself, but also him. any scheme Julien comes up with that he knows Maurice wouldnt approve of, he’ll go to pancho

•Maurice; maurice has a kind of wary vibe around Pancho ever since Pancho suggested eating him on the sub in exiled. he’s suspicious of him mainly because he wants to protect Julien tho, & he cant shake that Pancho is (or was) a sleeper agent programmed with the sole purpose of killing his best friend so

•Clover: Pancho is kinda cautious around clover since she’s always round the corner ready to bust him & Andy’s schemes. when it comes down to it they DO work together as they aknowledge each others skillsets. literally pancho is the only lemur (from the kingdom) who’s beaten Clover in combat. just once though.

•Mort; Pancho just......aknowlegdes his existance. he’s there i guess. doesn’t find mort as terrifying & creepy as the average citizen but Panch has probably seen worse. or he just doesn’t care. mort also does crimes so theyre just aware of each other.

•Becca & Abner; he’s kinda friends with them cus Andy’s friends with them. he goes round to deliver them stuff sometimes like moonshine or weapons from Andy. He probably shouldn’t pay too much attention to their government conspiracy theories though, they tend to really freak his paranoid ass out

•Timo; Timo is scared of Pancho or at least wary. He admittadly would like to study him tho & Panch is often a great help to him doing manual labour for any of Timo’s big projects

•Masikura; she mindmelded with him once & swore never again. she just doesn’t wanna know.

•Ted; Ted has a lil crush on Pancho (he’s one of Ted’s many crushes) & Panch will lightly flirt with him sometimes when he’s in the mood to. Pancho will bicker & grouch with him but they are really tight friends especially after their time together during exiled.

•Dorothy; at first she saw Pancho as this ideal bad boy type, but then realised how bad he smells cus he hates bathing. She’ll offer him tea like she does with everyone & (begrudingly often) lets him crash with her & Ted when they all stumble back drunk after a night out. Literally her & Ted both just have a mutual crush on Pancho is that not canon though

•Willie; despite being mean to Willie like EVERYONE ELSE IS Pancho and Willie are quite good friends. He’ll go stay with him whenever he’s worried about something cus he knows Willie will understand. sometime’s he’s too panicky for Pancho to be around though cus it sets him off

•Hector; I WANT THEM TO BOND OVER MILITARY HARDSHIPS & EXPERIENCE I THINK IT WOULD BE HELPFUL & HEALING FOR THE BOTH OF THEM! I should write about this sometime..........

•Horst; the DJ friend who he can always have a crazy sesh with; they actually get along pretty good. except when Pancho’s out here stealing his bolos. Like with everyone, Horst just rambles to Pancho when he’s drunk.

•Tammy, Butterfish & Todd; no real connection to them besides that him & Butterfish will often do the same jobs. They usually just make casual work chat. Tammy thinks Pancho is posessed by demons but he doesn’t let that phase him.

•Karl: he’s not rlly a “kingdom citizen” but he’s about there enough so. anyway Pancho just doesn’t treat Karl like the evil genius villain he portrays at all, since Pancho’s own morality is in the grey area, which kinda infuriates Karl that Pancho just talks to him like hes a normal person. he wants Julien’s people to FEAR HIM!!

•Dr. S; Absolutely not. they don’t even really have a friendship of any kind & Pancho is terrified of going to see the doctor as Dr. S literally experiments on lemurs...he’s not about that after what happened with the previous king.......Andy often has to drag him to the hospital kicking & biting to get him to go to checkups

•Nurse Phantom; u know what they’ve never interacted in canon but I think Nurse Phantom senses how troubled & anxious he is & takes a lot of time to talk to Pancho like if ever Andy or anyone else manages to drag him to the hospital, Rob will hold his hand if it comes to it; he goes into major helpful mode like offering him fruit & telling him he’s gonna be alright. He’ll also scold him for getting into so many dangerous scrapes & tells him he’s gotta look after himself!

Andy

•Julien; for some reason Julien just refuses to exile him even after all the bad shit he’s done BUT i think that’s because Andy is overall helpful to him like he ignores all the weirdness for example when they walked in on him & that rat holding a body wrapped in leaves because hey! we need tropheys Andy fast! thats the issue here!! perhaps its Julien’s awful adhd memory though & he just genuinely forgets. Julien is close with Pancho of course so Andy’s been round to the plane for parties & dinner as Pancho’s +1 of sorts— heck even he can be “polite” when he has to be.

•Maurice; Momo hates him. hates him hates him theres no turning back. i mean its hard not to when most of the citizens suffer from rediculous lemur stupidity & ur the only one who can see through this bat when he’s just standing there chatting shit. Very suspicious of Andy— plus he just thinks he’s creepy

•clover; LMAO bUT .....like obviously she hates him for good reason. but i do have this hc that’s way too long to write out that after Julien, Maurice & Mort literally fucked off to go with the zoosters in madagascar 2 Clover was literally responsible for two kingdoms cus she couldnt just leave them with a gecko in charge. I just want some situation where theres a proper twist & Andy ends up mellowing the hell out & actually being useful to her & the kingdom...he has skills but he uses them for nefarious reasons. She’d probably save his life somehow in the post-Julien chaos & he’d b like....”why would YOU of all people save ME?” n she’d b like... “well you are technically a citizen of this kingdom and ....i’ve gotta make sure you’re ALL safe for when ..... if King Julien ever gets back.....”

•mort; ??? sometimes theyre legit business partners. Mort can get in on a good scam. that second rub’s gonna cost ya. theyve probably been in the same prison before at one point. Mort’s so old.

•Becca & Abner; his fellow anti-establishment pals!! he doesn’t fully believe all of their ideas & theories but he loves em cus they’ll always buy self defence scorps off him. They get along & they drink a lot together by the stagnant watering hole. they’ve seen Andy in horrible states; all 3 of them are an idiot squad when theyre together. Becca & Andy argue a lot cus even she thinks some of the things he says are wack sometimes

•Timo; i have this hc that Timo, Andy & Karl knew each other when they were kids they kinda bonded together during school cus they were three non-lemur losers who got bullied for their eccentricity & varying levels of intelligence. Timo will sometimes go to Andy for stuff but he is his last resort really

•Masikura; probably mindmelded with him once & just saw a vision of him daydreaming about being kissed by Pancho & since then she was like. “Im not scared of the bird demon he’s just a big softie. where is my shipment of “ect” for my tea, that bird demon’s late again—“

•Ted; Ted is such an easy mark he can sell almost anything to him if he’s cheery enough. Helps that Ted thinks he’s really cute so Andy can just easily sweet talk him into buying whatever dodgy product he’s got at the moment. he knows & interacts with Ted mainly through Pancho being his friend!

•Dorothy; rlly wild hc actually that Dorothy used to be a propper crime don before she settled down with Ted— or when Ted was shifting into Snake more frequently back in the day for whatever reason—so Andy knows her from the criminal underworld. Cus of this he’s very respectful towards her... he’s seen what she’s capable of

•Willie; Andy could walk round the corner with his wings outstretched & say “boo” & Willie would pass out from shock. He’s also very easy for Andy to sell to- his fearmongering really works on Willie he’s very suseptable to it

•Hector; Hector doesn’t take any of Andy’s crap he’d probably just hit him with a broom if he came round his hut to sell him dodgy hand cream honestly

•Horst; Andy keeps him topped up with a steady supply of beverages...........Horst will actually sometimes ask him & Pancho for help with importing various new vinyl records

•Tammy, Butterfish & Todd; that family buys a LOT of product off him since they’re just typical americans basically he finds it rlly easy & reliable to sell stuff like drinks & toys to them. Tammy kinda hates Andy though & like Pancho, thinks he’s a demon. Doesn’t help that Mort nicknamed him “bird demon”.

•Karl; like with Timo i hc he knew him when they were in highschool—! Karl found Andy infuriating & so annoying though & didn’t consider him a friend at all. a lot of his early lazer guns were born from Karl’s growing need to shoot Andy out of the sky cus he’d fly up to get out of reach of his claws when he’d annoyed him.

•Dr. S; i hc that Andy and Dr.S are business or trading partners of sorts but they keep it very lowkey. Andy probably handles hits and the crazy snake doctor requires bodies and “test subjects” for his manic experiments. Andy is the perfect guy for the job! When Nurse Phantom is unable, Andy will hide the evidence of Dr.S’ malpractice for a reasonable fee, of course. He dislikes going to checkups himself though— he doesn’t like people knowing too much about him! Plus Dr.S always “””jokes””” about “””studying””” him because he finds the fact Andy is a flying mammal facinating & talks about using Andy’s wings to create a frankenstein flying lemur.

•Nurse Phantom; Rob just lectures him about being reckless & getting into fights everytime he sees him. Kinda the same as Dr. S really, but he does tell him like.. Hey I used to be pretty mean & put people in danger too. And that there’s always time to turn another leaf. Andy usually just scoffs, collects his paycheck, & leaves.

[stuck-in-jelly]

MHA Characters as conversations I've had/heard Part 2

The first one only got 13 notes bUT YA KNOW WHAT I DONT CARE HERE'S A PART TWO CAUSE THE STUFF I HEAR ON A DAILY BASIS IS WILD

---------------------

Hagurke: Oh is that why you shave your legs?

Aoyama with newly shaved legs: I shave because it FEELS good alright?

----------------------

Mic: I remember back in 1st year of high school I had a girlfriend-

Mina: Wow! You still remember?!

Mic: SHE BROKE MY HEART OF COURSE I REMEMBER

----------------------

Momo: Mr. Aizawa what time did you go to asleep?!

Aizawa:.......

Momo:MR. AIZAWA!! DID YOU SLEEP!?!

Mic: No, no he didn't

Momo: Sir! That's not good for you

Jirou: So is stress but here we all are!

----------------------

Momo: What does your wife do?

Midnight: She puts up with me, she should get paid more than me for that

----------------------

Kaminari: Are you mad at me or something?

Kirishima: No?? Why???

Kaminari: Oh its just that you didn't like any of my memes

--------------

Bakugou and Midoryia:*glaring at each other*

Aizawa: Oi! You two better not fight!

Uraraka to Midoryia: BEAT HIS ASS!!

Midoryia:*lunges at Bakugou as they start fighting*

Uraraka: yeeAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

------------

Uraraka: I wasted my coupon on you

Uraraka: How dare you.

---------------

Mirio: Enjoy life right now because you're going to hate it when you're 18

Midoryia: I ALREADY HATE LIFE

--------------

Kirishima: Im sorry for trying to improve my friend!

Kaminari pointing to Bakugou: IMPROVEMENT?!?!WHAT IMPROVEMENT! SHOW ME! SHOW ME WHERE

Kirishima: IM TRYING!!!

-----------

Kaminari: I'm so smart!

Kaminari: Oh wait no I messed up

Kaminari running: oHNO MR AIZAWA!!

-----------

Midoryia: Be gone vile depression! No one wants you here

Iida: Except the doctors who get paid off your suffering

-------------------

Mina with her arm stuck between two walls: I said I am a STRONG and INDEPENDENT woman. Not a smart one.

------------------

Aizawa trying to wack Mic with a broom: YOU FUCKING SCARED ME I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING ATTACKED

Mic on the couch screaming: ME AND MIDNIGHT WERE PLAYING TAG!!

Aizawa: YOU ARE ADULTS!! CLEAN THIS HOUSE FIRST

Mic as Midnight laughs: IM SORRY!!

---------------

Aizawa: *chugging a water bottle*

All might: Haha! I guess we know who chugged at high school parties

Aizawa finishing the bottle in one go: no it was from the dick

------------------

Aizawa petting his cat: I love you so much, I would murder thousands of men for you I would conquer universes in your name

Mic holding a cup of coffee: Why don't you love people like that?

------------------

Jirou: I'm going to hit him with my criminal justice book when I see him

Momo concerned: Why?

Jirou: BECAUSE ITS A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY WHAT HE DID

-------------

Kaminari: Wait so if the Chinese women would do foot binding for beauty what would I guys do?

Jirou: nothing. Guys have always been ugly. Sent tweet

Momo: RETWEET!!

--------------

Mirio driving up to UA as class 1-a are 3rd years: Hey! Hey kids! Ya want some drugs?!

Midoriya and Kirishima running up to him:YEA!!

Mirio: NO!! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SAY NO!

Kirishima: You didn't teach us well

Midoryia: Plus if the drugs are pain killers and antidepressants I'll take them

---------------

Mina: Wait, no to the sarcasm or no to the truthful

Aizawa: Yes

-------------

Kaminari: WAIT IF YOU KILL ME WHO WILL BE YOUR PUNCHING BAG?!?!

Bakugou: I CAN GET ANOTHER YOU, YOU ARENT UNQUIE! YOU AINT SPECIAL

------------

Iida: Everyday we stray further and further from God's light

Midoryia: We straight up dive into the flames of hell lets be honest

--------------

Sero: Hey dude what would Mina like for her birthday?

Kirishima: I dunno

Sero:... Haven't you known her for like 12 years??

Kirishima: Yea?

Sero: YOU'VE KNOWN HER FOR 12 YEARS AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE LIKES!?

Kirishima: HEY! WE DONT ASK WHAT THE OTHER LIKES, WE JUST MAKE FUN OF EACH OTHER

Sero: FOR 12 YEARS!?!

-------

Ectoplasm: So its sin2θ minus sincxθ cscθ over cosxθ. So then it turns into 1 minus sin2θ. Does everyone understand?

Sero:... Kirishima are you crying

Kirishima in tears: THEY ARE MANLY TEARS

-------

Aizawa: I'm so tired

Present Mic: Then sleep

Aizawa: no

[feathersnow]

A Miraculous Christmas Hogwarts AU

Merry Christmas everyone!! Here’s a little fic I did  to celebrate the occasion ^_^ Special thanks to @vanilla107 for beta-ing!  Summary : It was Adrien’s first Christmas in Hogwarts. Fluff! Adrienette “…up.”

Adrien shut his eyes tight and snuggled tighter in his duvet as the morning glow hit his face.

“Five more minutes,” he mumbled, turning to the other side.

But his roommate was not having any of it. He jumped on the bed.

“I said ‘Wake up’!” said Nino, wacking a pillow on his head.

“Ow! Go away,” mumbled the blonde-haired boy ,turning away.

“But it’s Christmas!”

“So?”

“The girls are coming over now,”

“What?!” This time, Adrien bolted up , almost knocking his head into Ninos, with wide-eyes.

“Th-They can’t come up here,” he stammered, pulling his covers close to his chest. “I-I’m not even dressed.”

Nino laughed. “Not in our bedrooms, you silly. Our Commons Room. C’mon, just put on your dressing robe. The girls won’t mind,” Nino hopped off the bed,  “I’ll head down to let them in. Oh, and Adrien?”

Adrien lifted his head.  “Yes?”

“Merry Christmas.”

Adrien smiled, “Merry Christmas to you too.”

Once his friend was gone, the fourteen year old boy scrambled out of bed and opened the window. The fresh cold morning air hit his face, followed by the bright sun warming his cheeks. The birds were chirping. It was a clear bright day. The ground was covered in a thick layer of snow but was shining like diamonds.

He took a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

Christmas, huh? So far his Christmases were never pleasant. His father had been absent on these holidays when he was younger. He was used to it.

What difference would this Christmas make?

“Dude! They are here!”

Grabbing his yellow dressing robe, the boy quickly made his way downstairs.

The fire in the fireplace burned merrily in the the Hufflepuff common room. Next to the fireplace was had a huge Christmas tree at the corner dressed in red and gold. His friends , all dressed in their respective house robes, were sitting on the carpet in front of the warm fireplace, waiting for him.  In the middle, Tikki, the Niffler, and his cat, Plagg, were sniffing the huge pile of presents.

Alya lounged at him, engulfing him into a hug.

“Merry Christmas, Adrien,” said the Gryffindor girl.

“Merry Christmas Adrien,” said the Slytherin girl, her voice much more quieter.  

“Merry Christmas, Alya and Mari,” he greeted back, hugging the Gryffindor girl back. He smiled at Marinette, who beamed at him shyly.

“It’s time to open presents!” Alya declared skipping back to the pile of parcels.  “We haven’t opened ours yet. Adrien this is yours,”  

Adrien stared at the pile. There’s got to be at least twenty or more. “How did you get them here? Did you carry them all here?”

Alya grinned at Marinette, who held up her small, round pink purse.

“Wait, in that?” the boys looked from the bag to the pile of presents. “But…how?”

Marinette giggled “Extension charm,”

“ Whoa, wicked!”  Nino gasped. “Isn’t that too advance for our year? For like Year 12?”

“More than that,” Alya beamed, “She should be in Ravenclaw instead of that Slytherin group,”

“Like I haven’t heard that one before,” smiled Marinette, rolling her eyes,

“You’re amazing, Marinette,” Adrien blurted,  “You’re so talented,”

“Th-thank you,” the girl stammered, her cheeks turning pink.

“Mari is just awesome,” countered Alya, nudging her friend “ Let’s open some presents!”

Nino gave a different music playlist for each of them according to their personality, along with their favorite candy. Alya had made a small photo album for each of them, with different photos of events they had done together. Adrien couldn’t stop looking at each moving photo, they were all smiling, having a wonderful time.

Not only did Marinette baked everyone a bag of her famous cookies, she had knitted turtleneck sweater for each of them. No magic was involved, to everyone’s double amazement.  Nino had a green sweater, Alya an orange and Adrien a black. Marinette was already wearing her new pink sweater

“Hon, where did you even get the time to do all this?” Alya gasped in shock.

“It fits perfectly,” Nino exclaimed, wearing the green sweater, “and it’s so warm,”

Adrien, in return, gave Alya a quill writing set, Nino the latest album of Metallic Goblins, and the latest Wizard & Witches Fashion magazines for Marinette.

They Slytherin girl couldn’t contain her excitement when she opened her gift. “These don’t come out until next month,” the Slytherin girl exclaimed , flipping through the pages.

Plagg had managed to find his presents – sniffing wheels of Camembert from each of them, in which Adrien had to quickly hide them before he gobbled them all and fell sick.  Tikki was happily content  with a few shiny coins and the leftover shiny wrapping papers from the presents. She had also received a bag of her favorite baked cookies from Marinette.

The rest of the presents came from their families. Adrien tried not to look disappointed when he couldn’t find his father’s package. After all, it was always the same every year – either late or forgotten.  However, his friends’ parents had never forgotten him.

Alya and Marinette’s parents had sent them packages of food. There were meat pies, mince pies, baked goods that Adrien thinks it will last him until summer.

Since Alya’s dad works in a muggle zoo, her father had sent them each an exquisite necklace and bracelets that have muggle animal teeth on it.

“Did he kill them to get them?” asked Nino holding up his necklace at one end and looking at it  warily.

“Don’t worry,” said Alya as she read her parents’ letter, “He said he had they had fallen out naturally. Hey, check out my family photo,” she beamed showing them the enclosed photo.

Adrien took a look at it. There was her mum, her dad, and two little girls. The only weird things is that they were still like statues.  “Why aren’t they moving?”

“Muggle photo’s can’t move,” Marinette explained, reaching into her purse. He heard a few objects moving about in the tiny bag until she fished out a white rectangle.

“These are my parents,” said Marinette showing him her family’s photo. In between Marinette there there was a plump man and a small Chinese woman standing together, smiling. “We decided to try a family muggle photoshoot for fun one day. It isn’t as great, but we had fun,”

Adrien didn’t care if it were or were not a magic or muggle. All that had mattered was if the photo had captured a happy family frozen in time.

“So…are your parents muggles or muggles in disguise?” Nino asked

"Baking is their side job.”

“Side job? Not gonna tell us what the the other job is?”

“If I told you, I have to kill you,” Marinette winked.

“Why are you so mysterious?” he whined. “Why are Slytherins so mysterious?”

“Alright, “ Alya clapped her hand, looking around. “looks like all the presents are done, it’s time for breakfast!” she cheered and bounded towards the exit. “I’m starving,”

“A good thing our House is next to the kitchen,” Adrien smiled getting up

The Gryffindor snapped her fingers, grinning, “And that’s exactly why we came here,”

The Christmas breakfast did not disappoint.

There was four different cold meats to choose from with sauces like mustard and mint, buttery mashed potatoes with gravy, roast potatoes, creamed spinach, grilled fish, a wide selection of fresh fruit, frothy hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, mango and pineapple salad, fruit cake, sugar cookies as well as Christmas cookies, fruity mince pies, ice-cream with a variety of different toppings and the huge honey-glazed gammon in the centre of the table.  

The food kept appearing on the tables  no matter how much the students ate and Adrien was always in awe at how the house elves prepared such a magnificent feast. He ate to his fill, knowing well that his father wasn’t there to stop him.

After the huge delicious breakfast, the four of them went out onto the school grounds to have a snowball fight along with other fellow schoolmates who had stayed back as well. It was a free for all with no magic until the boys started cheating since they were losing the game. But the girls still won (“Only because we let you,” huffed Nino in defense).

The fun event on the ground then changed to the air as everyone got on their broomsticks. Both snowballs and brooms were soaring in the air, and some players falling to the ground. Adrien had been smiling ear to ear till his cheeks burned and laughing along with his friends. He was always a prime target of Alya’s and she is a good thrower.

After a few hours, they went indoors to get some lunch warm up, and rest. Adrien was exhausted he didn’t know he had napped so long till Nino had to wake him up again. He thought the day was already over, but his roommate had told him they were going out again.  

Late that evening, the four of them bundled up in their scarves and jackets and made their  their way to Hogsmeade Village. They window shopped, played in the Zonko Joke Shop and bought each other candy in Honeydukes and finally settled down in the Three Broomsticks Inn for some butterbeer.

It was about an hour in the Inn that Adrien excused himself from the group and stepped outside. It was already dark and the lamp posts were all lit. The snow was lightly falling, and there was only a few people walking along the empty street.  

He took deep breath of cold air. His breath came out in wisp of fog. He closed his eyes, and relished the memories he had since that morning.

“Everything okay, Adrien?”

The blonde boy turned around to see Marinette, bundled in her coat, closing the door behind

He smiled “Everything's’ fine.” He turned to look at the falling snow “More than fine, actually. This is the best Christmas I’ve ever had in my life.”

“We never celebrated Christmas since mum left,” Adrien told her looking down at the snow, his smile falling. “ Before that,  there were always parties, laughter and smiles in the house. You wouldn’t believe it, but my dad used to be a fun person. Even if we didn’t have a party, it was always fun with just the three of us. Now, we hardly celebrate it. Even father doesn’t is never home for Christmas. There was no point for me returning there if it will always be the same every year. I don’t mind not having any presents, but I just wish..,” he sighed “he would at least greet me or spend some time with me,”

Marinette touched his arm. He looked up and gave her a soft smile.

“It’s been a long time since I had fun and remembered what Christmas is all about. You, Alya and Nino…thank you, Marinette,”

She smiled back.  “I’m glad you are having fun,”

They stayed in silence as they watch the snow slowly fall and the glowing lamp posts ahead. It was serene, peaceful and quiet.  A gust of wind blew past them, making Adrien shudder. He wrapped his coat tightly and tried to bury his neck into the collar.

“Adrien, what happened to your scarf?” asked Marinette, looking concern.

“I think I lost it during the snowball fight.” he admitted, thinking about his Hufflepuff scarf. He wasn’t bothered during that time. He had been too busy having fun. “But don’t worry. I’m fine.”

Another gust of wind blew past them, and Adrien cringed, shrinking himself into the coat.

She giggled, “Oh Adrien,” she sighed , looking sorry at him. She opened her purse, and reached her whole arm into it. He heard some loud movements , and a crash ? he can’t be sure. “Darn, I have to arrange that all over again,” he heard her mumble.  Finally she pulled out a small brown parcel with a string tied around it.

“Here, this is for you,” she said holding it out. Her voice had suddenly went soft, and she wasn’t looking at him.

Adrien’s eyes widened and took the gift. He pulled on the the string, and the brown paper unravelled to reveal a soft blue scarf.  

“I made it,” she blurted out, her voice had suddenly gone squeaky.  

Adrien stared the beautiful article of clothing. It was baby blue like the sky and felt very soft. He wrapped it around his neck. It felt very warm, and soft.  

“I just didn’t finished it until that afternoon after lunch,” When he looked back at her, she was looking at the ground and fumbling with her hands.

“This…is...I love it Mari,” he breathed out.

He didn’t know if words of gratitude were enough, so he pulled her into a hug. She let out a squeak, but didn’t pull away. “Thank you so much Marinette. You’re truly amazing and one of the best friends I’ve ever had,”  She was stiff against him at first and slowly melted into his embrace.

“Ho ho…! Bro!”

The both looked at Nino and Alya, who were grinning like idiots. Adrien cleared his throat. “Guys… we’re just-,”

Nino pointed to something above them.

He looked up.

Oh.

Mistletoe was growing above them.

He felt his cheeks grow warm.

He looked down to see his friend looking down at the floor. Her hands were buried in her face.

He smiled.

“Hey...Mari...” he whispered, gently prying her hands away from her face.

The girl bravely looked up to see him leaning towards her...and felt his gentle lips on her right cheek.

As he pulled away, she felt the warmth retreating as well. She didn’t want it to end. So, the girl did the unthinkable .

She grabbed his jacket, pulled him back, and on her tiptoes, quickly placed a kiss on his smooth and cold cheek.

She released him and turned away, blushing furiously.

Adrien was speechless. He had the same color cheeks as her.

Suddenly, there was a white flash.

“That’s a keeper!” said a voice filled with full of satisfaction.

“ALYA!” Marinette screamed, her face was very very red.

“You’ll thank me in twenty years!” Alya yelled running off with her camera. Marinette yelled, chasing her.

Nino watched the girls ran in the snow, and then turned to look at his bro.

Adrien was still rooted on the spot. Frozen. He lifted his hand to his cheek, where she had kissed him.

[theliterateape]

Top 6 Ways I Can Get You To Click This Link!

By Peter Kremidas

Christmas time is here again, and you know what that means. No, I’m not talking about hot floor shaking trap shit, though that is a good answer. I’m talking about clicking links on the internet.

Maybe to look through a relative’s social media for gift ideas. Maybe to purchase said gifts in an online store. Probably for porn. Maybe after the porn you realize you didn’t finish your Christmas shopping. Perhaps you resolve to finish after you take this nap real quick. Hopefully you wake up eventually. Perchance you take another tall drink of porn through your hungry eyeballs because you’re a human fuckbeast who possesses a body genetically engineered with steel determination to reproduce with veins the circumference of whiskey shots.

It varies for everyone. But at some point in this classic holiday cycle that is as apple as American pie, you get distracted. And that’s where we come in. Sometimes you just need some dumb bullshit list to take you away from the reality of consumerism’s unsustainability and your culpability for the subsequent world you are leaving your children. Sometimes, especially around the holidays, it’s good to be reassured of how it’s not your fault how easily you and all other humans are to manipulate into a culture of happiness achieved via empty and meaningless commodities. And sometimes that reminder comes in the form of an online article that exploits your human cognitive weaknesses so you will pay attention. To us.

This is that article. But how do we do it? Here are the top 6 things I can do to get you to click this link!

1) Prey upon your need to have your ego satiated and all the things you want to believe about yourself reinforced by way of a test that tells you which Garfield character you’d be on The West Wing. Tests that tell you what character you are work well to reinforce beliefs that you really are what you wish you were. Since you already know what character you want to be, we make the answers to get there obvious. Want to be White House Chief of Staff Nermal? Then your favorite color is probably gray and you’re the type of leader who is always nice to everybody. It is impossible to get Jon Arbuckle on this quiz because online bullying makes people kill themselves.

2) Reassure you that you’re smarter than everybody else with claims that only 4 percent of people can pass this test consisting of second grade math problems, a question asking you what an octagon is, and your opinion of Bethany Frenkel. It’s a competitive world, and confidence is key. And with answers like 7, 5 billion, 7, less than, 3 ducks, a stop sign, and “While I am a regular purchaser of skinny girl cocktails, I don’t, strictly speaking, know her personally,” it’s a test that anybody can cinch. And in this way, even you can can be in the top 4 percent of intelligence. It’s science. The same science that tells us that just believing you are good at something makes you better at it. Not all liars wear capes.

3) A list. Lists are like articles in small, easily digestible pieces. The trick is to keep it simple and not get all high concept about it or, god forbid, meta.

4) Any list that combines sex, politics, and holidays. Pretty much everybody is constantly on the lookout for better ways to fuck their wives in these dark days of the Trump administration. And our lives are hectic, with many of us under considerable stress and economic strain. Sometimes it’s just healthy to stop everything and goddamnit let it be Valentine’s Day, OK? The best part of these types of lists is that the subjects are interchangeable based on your preferences. Maybe you’re a “Top Five Pictures of St. Patrick’s Day that Chuck Schumer Wacks Off to in a Broom Closet.” Or maybe you’re more of a “The 18 Weird Halloween Costumes Mitch McConnell Wears to Prevent Premature Ejaculation” type. The possibilities are endless. Chances are there’s a combination that your attention will find irresistible.

5) Pictures of sad baby mammals Take a look at these and tell me you couldn’t waste your lunch break on this delicious empathy fruit:

6) Whatever, as long as there are at least six items. Distracting articles need to have enough content and substance so people don’t feel like their time was wasted. Browse on, my friends.