#i used to like reading romance a lot but after i figured out that im aromantic

[mysteriousboo]

Boop!

Where I live we are celebrating a festivity related to books and roses! So if you read books, what’s your favorite book genre?

I love almost everything fictional, but I also read some nature books from time to time. Inside fictional books, my favorite genres are mystery, adventure, romance and sometimes horror as well.

Boop!!

what is the festival called?

And girl, I'm such a bookworm!! Like in 2022, I read over 13 million words, which is roughly around 196 novels!! My favorite genre is prolly also fiction, but I enjoy reading pretty much everything!! lately I have been reading crisis by karin boye!! It's actually a biography of the author herself! Would 10/10 recommend!!

[six-eyed-samurai]

Hello ! (I’m not sure if your requests are open but I love your fics so I really wanted to try 😭) Could you maybe write a Genya x Male reader one ? Where like Genya deals with confusion and internalised homophobia after realising he fell in love with a guy ? IM SO SORRY IF YOU DONT DO MALE READERS OR SMTH LIKE THAT, HAVE A GOOD DAY !!

SUMMARY: Genya's emotionally constipated. It's the Shinazugawa genes - but even more so when it comes to...guys?!

A/N: KYAAH Ty anon glad you enjoyed, and DW my inbox is open anytime I'm just a little slow in writing rn because of exams and I'm moving house. I have done male reader before but I'm not too used to writing gay T-T so I'm sorry if this turned out the way you wanted

WARNINGS: Male reader in case you don't read the asks and only warnings/Minor swearing

Much romance happens at Kimetsu Academy.

There's Zenitsu and Nezuko, although Genya considers it more of an obsession on the blonde’s end seeing as Nezuko doesn't openly display any signs of liking him back romantically, whatever the delusional idiot thinks. There's also Tanjiro and Kanao, the perfect epitome of friends to lovers. And whatever Aoi and Inosuke have going on.

But none of that ever happened to Genya. Sure, he thought the occasional girl was pretty or nice, but aside from the fact he explodes into a tomato just from a simple “hello” he's never been actually interested. Of course that occasionally made him feel a bit left out amongst his friends, like he was missing something great, but hey, Muichiro and him would be single pringles forever and that was fine.

(Genya's very betrayed to find out Muichiro had received a confession…and was considering accepting it.)

But it was a little unbelievable to the Kamaboko Squad that in all of the sixteen years of his life he had never had a crush, hence the interrogation they were giving him that particular day during lunch.

“Have you never fallen in love? At all?!” Genya wants to snort; as if Zenitsu would ever notice anybody else's love life but his own.

“HAHAHAHAA! LOSER!”

Tanjiro calmly shoved Inosuke away from a fuming Genya, smiling brightly. “I'm sure Genya has one! And we'll be more than happy to help him confess!”

“Aren't crushes supposed to be secret-”

“Then we have to figure out who it is first!” Zenitsu hollers.

“No-”

“Is it Kocho?!”

Kanao, Tanjiro and Genya both look scandalised but Zenitsu barrels on. Aoi face palms. Inosuke steals everyone's food.

“Is it Kanrojii?!”

“Why is everyone you're listing so much older than me!”

“OKAY, OKAY! Uh…Koyuki-”

“SHE'S ENGAGED TO SOMEONE ELSE!”

“Sheesh, I got it, stop yelling! That Shabana girl?”

“Just why-”

“Maybe Genya does like someone but just doesn't realize it,” Kanao offers timidly.

“That's a good point, Kanao!” Tanjiro beams, causing Genya and Kanao to flush red but for entirely different reasons.

“How am I supposed to know if I like someone?”

“If you find them cute?”

“That seems really superficial,” Aoi says disapprovingly.

“You'll get really nervous around them, like your heart speeds up. You'll probably stare at them a lot too, and want to do lots of things for them, maybe hold open doors?” Tanjiro nods wisely.

“And they're the first person you look at to see if they're laughing at a joke,” Kanao agrees.

Genya considers. “Then none of the girls you just listed, honestly.”

“It's alright, you'll find the one for you one day. There's no rush now.”

“HAHAHA! TENYA IIDA IS GOING TO BE ALONE FOREVER! HAHAHHAA!”

“MY NAME IS GENYA!”

***

Truth be told Genya had lied.

It wasn't a lie exactly either. More of…an avoidance of the truth. He didn't feel that way about any girls Zenitsu had mentioned, or any of the girls at school.

But he did like someone, yes.

Or no. Definitely not. It couldn't possibly be.

“Oh, hey, Shinazugawa.” Your simple wave as you joined his side outside the classroom door was enough to get his heart pounding and slightly sweaty like he had just suffered an entire class with the gym teacher Tomioka.

“Thanks for holding the door!” You call out over your shoulder, flashing him a bright smile while entering the class and taking your seat. You immediately turn to start talking with your friends, something Genya's extreme thankfully for because then you can't see the tomato red that's painting his face as he's still stuck, frozen and speechless, by the door. Only Iguro-sensei’s cold “Do you plan to have the lesson by the door or something?” Shook him out of it.

You're so confusing, Genya thinks, averting his eyes when you catch his with a mouthed “oops” and raised eyebrows, because he wants to revel in your attention and hide in a hole from it at the same time.

It was a pleasant kind of confusion, though. The kind he wouldn't mind thinking about forever; it gave him an oddly warm, fidgety feeling inside like he had just drunk an entire thermos of hot chocolate and got marshmallows to top it off. Then he promptly slaps himself (mentally) because he shouldn't be thinking about this, that and you.

Not like it stopped him from staring at the back of your head all through class. He doesn't realize it until your friend turns their head around and makes a face at him, leaning closer to you to whisper something. Genya panics and ducks his head, burying it into his arms for a few minutes before he judges it's safe to look up.

And when he does you're smiling at him knowingly, as if the both of you knew something the rest don't. Oh good lord.

Your laughter is something Genya wishes he could make as well, when the whole class watches Iguro-sensei trying to tell Inosuke off, but the dumbass can't get the teacher’s name right at all. He finds himself laughing as well, a combination of that and because of you before it hits him.

“You'll get really nervous around them, like your heart speeds up. You'll probably stare at them a lot too, and want to do lots of things for them, maybe hold open doors?”

Oh shit. Check, check, check.

“And they're the first person you look at to see if they're laughing at a joke.”

And check?!

Shit shit shit shit shit-

Genya groans. He does like you after all.

But that's not right, it's got to be wrong.

You're a boy. Genya's not gay…at least he didn't think so…Then again he's never actually liked a girl. But he's never liked a boy either. Until you.

Forget it! You're not a crush, you're the reason why Genya is going to drive himself crazy right now! Hell, why did the idea feel so wrong but so right at the same time?

Genya rubbed his temples. If he was being honest the idea only seemed so wrong because…well, because he's just never considered that possibility before. It just hasn't really occured to him he might be attracted to the same gender. It's a new concept, yes, but…not really a terrible one. He got all red with girls yes but it wasn't because he like-liked them or thought they were cute.

Was crushing on a guy really going to be any different than a girl then? Genya groaned again. Judging by his behaviour these days…yeah, not really.

Okay, then if hypothetically he DID like you and he liked guys…how would Sanemi and his friends react? Would they still want to hang out with him? Would Sanemi still…consider him his brother? What would his mom think?

What a headache. What would…you think? It'd be pretty embarrassing to like you and you're straight, Genya thought. Then again was he even sure he was gay, even certain he had a big fat crush on you?

“Hey, you alright?” The voice startles Genya out of his thoughts. He lifts up his head and looks around, startled to see everyone's left. Shit, he hadn't even realized class was over. Idiot.

He glances to his left and nearly dies of fright.

You cock an eyebrow. “Um, seeing a ghost, Genya?”

“No!” He just about shouts, flailing his arms as he tries to stop himself from falling out of his chair. “I'm fine! Really! Sorry…just, just kinda out of it.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

Yeah, let's talk about how I've just realized I might be-

“It's fine, it's nothing important.” Genya notices your fidgeting however. “What about you?”

You hesitate. You're playing with your sleeves quite nervously. It's making him paranoid.

“I'm just…there's a new arcade that just opened up.”

“Sounds fun,” Genya offers. He's got barely enough brain cells still functioning from the close proximity between you both.

“I was wondering - um, do you wanna go with me? I can buy all the tokens,” you quickly blurted out and held your breath.

“Sure.”

“N-no. Just you and me. Like on a date.” You rub the back of your neck, looking away. “No - no pressure or anything! I know you might not be into guys, you might already like a girl-"

“You're gay.”

You wince at his tone. Genya wishes he hadn't sounded so accusing. “Last I checked, yeah.”

“Sounds fun,” Genya repeats dumbly, because holy shit, you like him you like guys too he likes guys he really wants to go to the arcade with you oh thank god-

You blink. “So that's a…yes?”

“Absolutely.” Genya waves his hands frantically. “If you're still up for it! Nothing’s awkward! I - I do want to go as a date, not as friends, and, uh-"

He snaps his head away, embarrassed, but he glances back long enough to see you grinning like you've won the lottery.

"Does 2 pm work for you?"

Shit. He really does like you after all. And with the way you're smiling at him like that maybe he can deal with whatever bullshit that's going to come next.

***

“Hey Genya, do you want to come over this weekend?”

“Muichiro wants to go to that pizza place again.”

The Tokito twins stare at him expectantly over the usual din of the Kamaboko Squad's usual shenanigans. Now or never.

“Sorry, I'm busy.”

“With what?” Muichiro looks out off; Yuichiro frowns in surprise.

“With someone.”

The silence was so thick you could've cut it with a knife - or Zenitsu's screaming.

“WHO?”

“HAR?!”

“Is it a date?” Tanjiro managed to slap a hand over the blonde's mouth while Aoi deals with Inosuke. The twins and Kanao's mouths hang open in surprise.

Genya picked at his food. “Yeah. At the new arcade.”

“Congratulations!”

“I thought you were planning to be single forever-”

“Shut up, Mui!”

“With who?"

He says your name and again the silence is thick.

Tanjiro's eyes light up in recognition and shock. “Isn't that the new boy?”

Genya nods stiffly.

“You're…gay?” Kanao asks tentatively.

Genya nods again.

“I had no idea! I never would've guessed either.” Tanjiro shakes his head, stunned. Much to Genya's relief…he's smiling? “But good for you, Genya, I'm sure you'll enjoy the date!”

This wasn't so bad after all. It's like a weight’s been lifted off his shoulders. Now it's just how well…Sanemi will take it and his family. Probably not as easy.

“I thought it was a little weird you rejected that cute girl the other day.” Muichiro looks excited. “Now I've got a gay best friend!”

“What are you, twelve?” Yuichiro grumbles, but turns to Genya. “Have a good time then.”

“THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE! DON'T SHOCK US LIKE THAT, GENYA!” Zenitsu finally squawks, clutching his heart.

“Wait, what's gay?” Inosuke's lost. “Is Genma happy or something?!”

Never mind.

***

“Damn, I knew you were good at shooting, but basketball too?” You wiggle your eyebrows at him, pretending to throw an imaginary ball as Genya throws an actual one through the basket easily.

“Heh, this one's just easy since it's so near.” The machine flashes lights and beeps, displaying a new highest score. “And kinda short.”

“You are pretty tall,” you agreed, counting the leftover tokens. “Hey, we still have enough for that claw machine!”

“Seriously?”

So far the date's going pretty well. Genya hadn't made a fool of himself when you showed up dressed up in that letterman jacket and excitedly tackled him yelling about how you managed to get about an entire bag's worth of tokens. You both had spent your time mostly fooling around playing air hockey, shooting games (he had a moment of crisis before sitting next to you in the cramped space), he got forced to dance with you, you claimed he cheated at the racing, he won you a figurine as an apology for accidentally smacking your hand during Whack-A-Mole. Genya was kind of regretting that now, because you were now convinced Genya had amazing luck and could continue to win you more prizes. But as Sanemi said - a million times - those things were a scam, so Genya compromised by saying if only there was tokens leftover from the basketball game.

Alas and alack, he supposed, but you were already speeding towards the claw machine.

“Come on, come on, almost there, almost there!” Your chanting is barely heard over the obnoxious arcade music but you're practically breathing down his neck.

“Okay, okay, I got it, shut up for a sec.” Genya's grip on the controls is so tight he's actually afraid he might rip out the joystick by mistake like Sanemi last time…although Sanemi had done that on purpose during his rage quit and since had been banned from that particular arcade.

“Dear Kami-sama, please, please, please-”

“SHIT.”

“NOOO! So close!” Your head's tossed back in an exaggerated groan, flipping off the stupid claw that let go just a second too early. “I could've won that Hashira figurine!”

“I was the one playing!” Genya protested.

“I got the tokens!”

“I offered to pay you back! You said no!”

You punched his shoulder playfully. “Hey, this was supposed to be my treat. You can pay for the next date.”

“Next - next what-"

“Oh jeez, your face is so red now. Let's get some fresh air; I know a good dessert store.”

Genya's down bad alright.

***

“Where the hell have you been?”

It's already late by the time Genya lets himself into the house. His siblings should've been asleep, his mom too, so hopefully he could…uh, break the news the next day, when he's written and planned everything out, chewed off his nails and get that support you promised him earlier.

Luck had decided to abandon him since his second attempt at the claw machine however, since now he's been caught kicking off his shoes and smiling down at his phone, at the picture you've sent him of the figurine in your shelf.

>>Maybe I'll get more from you

You wi<<

He shuts off his phone quickly. Sanemi’s sitting on the sofa, arms crossed and does not look like a happy camper. Genya tries for an innocent smile. He probably looks like he has a stroke. If Sanemi were a cop, every criminal would be cracking in less than a minute under his interrogations.

“Out with a friend. Sorry I'm late, I was talking them back home.”

“Really? Saw all your friends - Tokito twins and that Kamado kid - earlier today. Try again."

“Someone else.”

“Cut to the chase, Genya, you were out on a date, weren't you?” Sanemi barks.

Genya's shoulders slump. “Yeah. Please don't be mad, I did tell Mom.”

“You should focus on studying. Your math grades are still too low.” Sanemi's expression softens, just slightly. "Who's the lucky girl?"

“Ah.”

“I swear to god, if it's that Shabana girl-”

“It's a guy.”

A very awkward beat of silence.

“WHO?!”

Genya almost expects to be attacked when he says your name. Or mauled after Sanemi demands every detail of what went down at the arcade. Maybe thrashed while finally confessing yes, he's not straight. But not stand there while Sanemi stares at him, strangely quiet.

“You two didn't do anything suspicious?”

Nope. You'd been quite understanding when he admitted he was still kind of getting used to the newness of…all this and offered to save a kiss for next time, causing him to explode into scarlet and try to poke you with his straw. “Aniki!”

“Is this a new thing or have you been…keeping this from me?” Unbelievable. His older brother almost looks hurt by that notion.

“A new thing, I swear, I wasn't planning on keeping anything from you, I was just waiting for the right time and right thing to say and I - I didn't know how you'd react.”

“Well…” Sanemi mutters something unintelligible, eyes moving away slightly.

“Um…what?”

“I SAID, AS LONG AS YOU'RE HAPPY WITH HIM, IT'S FINE BY ME! NOW GO TO SLEEP!”

Genya couldn't stop his grin. “Really? Thank - thank you, Aniki, and okay, I will.”

“And don't do anything too intimate before you're married!”

***

You spat out your straw. “He said what?”

Genya takes a long sip of his latte, slipping his hand into yours. “I didn't make that up.”

“No,” You say, shaking your head. “That sounds like Shinazugawa.”

[endemise]

long ramble, progress update, & potential release timeframe below:

hii! i got a lot of coding done and i think im finally satisfied with how the game looks (for now…)

here are some screenshots of what some of it will look like on mobile!

the friendship and romance levels shown in the relationship menu are just random as is the blurb for Aesop’s thoughts, they’re just for the example! (also characters thoughts are hidden by default, you click to reveal, then hide, them)

the stat bars were giving me hell but i finally figured them out with the the help of some forums and tumblr posts

i liked how in when twilight strikes by evertidings, the menu buttons (i.e. profile, stats, relationships) are listed at the top of the page so i took inspiration from that! and the many IFs that have a splash (?) screen at the beginning with the title

compared to when i started using twine (i think august 2023 was the first time i gave it a try), i’ve learned so much and there’s still so much to learn as well, i think coding has become my favorite part (making things looks pretty hehe)(with the help of amazing templates & ppl smarter than me, they do the heavy lifting fr)

with all the coding done (appearance wise) it’s lock in time for the revised prologue and chapter 1

the prologue has undergone a fair bit of change with the help of feedback & i’ve (hopefully) better established the setting and story.

some things that have changed besides wording and sentence structure, etc.: being able to choose what you did as a job (ex. working at the family inn) and meeting a new character (more like an old friend?)(no spoilers:))

some things i’ve been considering (SLIGHT SPOILER FOR CH.1 MAYBE): merging the revised prologue and chapter 1 into just the prologue bc chapter 1 differs a bit from the other chapters, but then the prologue would maybe be too strange timeframe wise? it’s a time skip after the events of the prologue (is that considered a spoiler, i don’t think so but???) that connects to the next chapters so maybe it’d just be better as its own chapter? or dropping the revised prologue by itself along with the updated ui/appearance then chapter 1 sometime after, or dropping the revised prologue and chapter 1 together, idk these are all just ideas i’ve been thinking about maybe i’ll do a poll

if you have anything you’d like to see, for example a specific job your MC worked, certain personality traits, or something like that, feel free to let me know & i’ll take them into consideration! i think now is the best time to add things bc it’s early development days & it’ll be easier to do so now than later

i’ve also decided to lean a little more into the supernatural aspect which i’m excited for (one specific thing really, i can’t wait to get to it🤭) the story’s world itself is fairly grounded in reality (as in the supernatural is unknown to most) but i’m looking forward to exploring it more

what you’re probably reading this for: depending on how i end up going about the prologue-chapter 1 merge decision & whether anything is added from requests/feedback, i’m aiming for a june release, july at the latest (fingers crossed). now that the appearance and function coding is complete (besides stat/choice tracking & other story related things), finishing the writing and coding it in is all that’s left

my schedule has done a 180 & some things are less than ideal at moment but it should all (hopefully) go smoothly from here! should anything change, i’ll let you all know

anyways, that’s all i have to say for now! ty for being patient & for reading this mess, i appreciate you all :)

[patroxlos]

in another ask u said that reader feeds into his insecurities and worsens his abandonment issues could u explain it more? also loved how we got to know reader more in the last chapter it helps build character and made me think abt how much deep the reveal is gonna be (angst coming? 👀). tnks for the food💕

the angst will be coming! and they will be miscommunicating so much more than they are right now! im excited because ch8 is significant to establish the reader's motive >:) but to answer your question...

SUMMARY:

all will be revealed as the story progresses >:) i was intentionally vague in that ask because it hasnt been revealed in the story yet what caused you two to fall nearly out years ago, but that said im a yapper HAHAHA

your role as his childhood friend is significant bc u are tied to his past in japan, a place and culture he has very conflicting feelings about

he thinks you don't need him in your life esp because you're so confusing and indecisive about what you want from him

you both were very toxic for eo during your situationship.

If you want to see me yap about Kenji's abandonment and attachment issues, keep reading.

There is narrative purpose as to why I figured a childhood friend would fit in well with Ultraman: Rising's plot in itself

the movie is very family-centric, and a lot of how kenji achieves peace with himself in the film is by reconnecting with the past, be it his family or the culture he left behind

while i figured that it would be fun to write a reluctant team-up to lovers, bc ill be able to play around w kenji's personality pre-Emi, i also didnt see the place of a romance forming while he's struggling being a single mom

but i also wanted the story to take place during the movie's run bc i wanted to include Emi since she plays a big part in us learning who Ken is, so writing a fic that starts after the film didnt feel in the cards for me

since kenji grows as a person by the end of the film through making peace with his conflicting identities and his tumultuous past, i thought having a childhood best friend would make sense since i dont think he has the space to introduce anyone new in his life

bc reader is a childhood friend who he is meant to be close to, i cant write kenji interacting with reader the same way he is at the start of the film because there is a familiarity that breaks down his walls— which caused me to have a dilemma about how to characterize him

it also made me a bit sad that i cant write full-on ken sato the "egomaniac" bc i think thatll be fun since he's such a boyfailure

but that means that we see a softer ken when he interacts with reader, someone who is a bit more vulnerable with showing that he strives for further connections in his life even if he wants to look like he can do it all by himself

Kenji feels alone and disconnected from everyone, including you

it's also clear to the audience that kenji doesnt have any friends, and anyone he's friendly with is probably friends with him on a surface level. Ami states in their first interview that he is known as someone who keeps others at a distance, and who is untouchable

the team behind Ultraman: Rising did state that there is a deleted scene where he is clubbing, which is meant to show that he feels alone even in a sea of bodies. and his dad in the movie isnt surprised that he is throwing parties at his house, so it just clues us in that he probably lived life with very shallow connections and has filled his time with materialistic pursuits (e.g. his car collection...what he need a mclaren for)

i decided to make the reader someone from the 1% for two reasons: first being so that i can explain why her and kenji meet up over the years (i see a lot of friends who migrated to north america only once a year and we're still close!), and second, because i wanted you to be on the same playing field if not higher playing field than him.

Ken puts up the front that he doesn't need anyone else, but he is insecure about how he thinks you don't need him.

bc u have ur own things going on!! u have ur own friends

what makes it worse is that u genuinely think that kenji is the same. u think that since he's very successful, he would have his own thing

i havent touched up on it much yet, but it's very evident to kenji that you will readily pick yourself over him, which isn't a bad thing but it reminds him when his dad picked Ultraman over keeping his family together

ken feels like he can never be anyone's first choice or priority, and your situationship messes this up further

I haven't touched much on what happened between them yet in the story because it's building up to it, but

it soon feels for ken that youre only seeking him out on convenience. that he doesnt matter to you beyond what his body can do for you

bc spoiler: you are the villain in the situationship! you're the one who insists that everything is casual yet you keep the line blurry

^ karma is gonna get to u soon in the main storyline ure gonna be dry heaving when u realize u actually do want something with him

your constant back and forth with him will be revealed in the flashbacks... you not wanting more than a casual relationship yet youre talking abt what it would be like if you two got married???

Spoiler but during the situationship years, you're also the first one to say "I Love You" ROMANTICALLY yet youll later on backtrack and say that you didnt mean it in that way

can you blame him for getting confused and insecure about where you stand and whether or not he actually matters to anyone.

it doesnt help that his presence in your life is actively harming your reputation and career.

in ch8, it's briefly mentioned that ur media hate train is caused by ppl who are paying for bad press abt u starting from when you were 18. if you remember ch3-4, kenji freaks out abt a new article abt u two, and ch6 he was conscious of what others were saying.

one thing i want to elaborate in a separate post is that ken is AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT and reader is written to have DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT.

Even if Kenji is avoidant due to his trauma of abandonment (e.g. self-reliant, avoids social connections), he can't help but yearn to be with you

so it's so confusing to him bc with everyone else, he would want to leave first. and he's close to leaving you so many times

yet you keep making these promises, saying sweet things about how much you need him, that he cant help but get roped into it a bit

When he is younger, he's fully aware that it is not a healthy mindset, but even if you're just using him at least it means that he still gets to be in your life. It makes him feel needed.

in the present timeline, sometimes those thoughts definitely cross his mind but at present he is focusing on maintaining the boundary you guys set about strictly being friends

So far I hope you caught in the story [as of ch8] from the subtext or dialogue that

in the present timeline, you are both 26 years old

the situationship started when you were 16 and lasted until you were 23

bc ure both high profile starting when you were 18, and u both publicly seem a lot closer than what ure claiming to be, it is well-documented that you two kind of go back and forth with each other (think justin and selena/shawn mendes and camila cabello)

(a new photo recently surfaced of shawn and camila together at Copa América and ppl were kind of confused as to whether or not they got back together again after breaking up for like the fourth time and i was like omg... home base core...)

when you both were 23, three years ago, you two had a really bad falling out caused by your previous situationship

it caused you officially end it for good, and while you maintained your friendship for those three years you weren't able to properly see each other face to face (partly. bc covid is canon in the fic HAHAHA but i havent talked abt it)

yall dont know how to act around eo anymore like why a little eye contact making u nervous .... yall had ur privates in eo's mouths (kenji munch next chapter soon promise hihi)...

since it is revealed that a large part of the hate train against you is paid for by people who want you out of power, kenji as much as possible wants to avoid being seen as more than friends with you atm bc he's worried it will derail your career

SORRY if it felt like I didn't say anything at all since I don't want to reveal too much at this stage lmao but I can do my best to elaborate on any points of interest!

[dirtybitfic]

Reality- pt.1

Matt x y/n - Matt was your creative writing professor throughout all four years of university , he made lectures interactive and fun making him your favorite professor , throughout having him as your professor you caught feelings for him , now that you have graduated you think about reaching out....

( didn't proofread cause I didn't have the energy so I apologize if there are any typos)

Y/n pov-

Ive been having the time of my life on vacation with my best friends , we graduated this past spring so we decided to plan an amazing trip to Greece .

Im more than happy to be done with school for the rest of my life but ... I find myself missing one class in particular on this trip . Every time I sit down to read or write about my day or even as I write the book i'm working on , I think back to my creative writing teacher . Ive always loved writing wether it was my dreams as a kid or crazy stories my mind would come up with I found it made me happy . After having Professor Sturniolo for four years he made me fall involve with literature and writing even more . The day I graduated he told me he was so proud of the student I had become in his class , he loved my determination and creativity , and he loved watching me blossom into the hopefully soon to be author I am .

I grew to love him and a professor but also I slowly felt the feelings blossom for him throughout the years . I mean he's young , he was only 23 my freshman year and 19 year old me was foaming at the mouth walking into that lecture hall , His fluffy brown hair, Peircing blue eyes, tattoo scattered arm and deep but calm voice god he was just perfect.

Im three glasses of Santo down while writing a few chapters of my book but start to read over it a bit and feel like its missing something but I cant quite figure out what. Thats when I remember Professor sturniolo told me I could email him anything I write in the future if I ever needed notes or help , he is a published author after all . I search in my notes for his personally email he gave me and start up an email .

*email to profesor Sturniolo

Hi mr. Sturniolo ,

Im sorry to bother you , but I wanted to see if you could maybe read over my latest chapters of my book i'm writing . I trust that you will give me the feed back and guidance I need .

hope your summer is going well !

( inserts pages for him to read)

sincerely , y/n

After clicking send my stomach flutters with nerves , the books I write are... suggestive is the best way to put it . Dark romance is the style i've always been drawn to something about a stalker romance does something to me . When I was in his class I kept it classy with my writing style so having him read this type of work by me seems a bit inappropriate but then again he is no longer my professor so its not as bad .

I set my computer aside and fill my glass again and take a sip as I look over the beautiful scenery in front of me . I put my AirPods in as I start playing Young and beautiful by lana del rey . I close my eyes feeling the warm breeze blow through my hair as a smile spreads across my face . I could get used to this life , traveling around , writing in beautiful places just being happy while doing what I love.

Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac comes on next and I stand as I slowly dance along to the music on the terrace and dramatically turn and grab the railing leaning back . It feels like i'm in a movie with how beautiful the scenery around me is . I hear the sound of an incoming email notification and my heart drops . I pause the song and sit back down looking at my computer seeing its from him . I take a deep breathe before opening it.

Good evening y/n,

I just started reading over the first few pages , your writing is amazing its filled with raw emotion which as a reader makes me more interested to keep reading . Would you be up or able to call once I finish fully reading what you've sent I think it would be a lot quicker for me to just tell you on the phone my feedback then type it out in an email.

Sincerely , Matt.

As I read over the email again just to make sure I read it correctly my heart literally falls to my ass . Im embarrassingly eager to talk to him on the phone . I decide to send him and email saying id love to call and left my number at the bottom .

I sit in the chair buzzing with nerves waiting for my phone to ring. I zone out looking at the water for god knows how long before I snapped out of my trance by my phone ringing. I look to see its a California # meaning its probably Matt.

I shakily pick up the phone and put it on speaker .

"Hi y/n its so nice to hear from you" his voice rumbles through the phone " You too I know its probably very late in California so I'm sorry for emailing you so late" I say shakily as the nerves fully take over my body." oh no please done apologize i'm actually in Italy right now so its not late at all" he says and I gulp Italy isn't too far from here meaning were probably in the same time zone. " oh god even worse ...I bothered you on vacation didn't I?" I ask now feeling terrible for bothering him. " No no trust me your fine i'm taking sometime here to get inspired for some upcoming books i'm writing so really its no bother at all" he says ending it with a warm chuckle that makes me smile. " well thank you again for even taking the time to do this I really appreciate it " I say sweetly " of course so lets talk about these chapters so far , I love the base line I think you've written dane very well , the detail you write about him makes it easy for me to envision him and get a feel for the character , ivory is written even better I mean she almost reminds me of you , but I think its missing some fear aspects . What I mean by that is Dane is her stalker and is following her around and entering her house without invitation so I feel like she should be more scared and fight back more than you have her , I feel like she's a bit too ... calm about the situation. I think if you add in that fear hes distilled in her it will help a lot with their character and relationship growth throughout the rest of the book but other than that I think the writing is amazing so far . I really am happy you came to me for help , I know I could be a little hard on you guys but I really did care about seeing you grow into the amazing writer I know you can be" he says and I cant stop smiling , hearing his kind words and praises have my stomach twisting and my heart beating a mile a minute. " I knew something was missing thank you so much this feedback really did help Mr. sturniolo " I say and I hear him chuckle " Of course and please call me Matt no need for the formality , you probably need to get some sleep I could imagine its very late in Oregon " he says and I smile

" well it is but i'm actually in Greece right now so i'm not to tired" I say " Oh wow then I guess you're watching a beautiful sunset right now , its beautiful here I can only imagine how amazing it is there" he says as I sigh and smile " It really is beautiful , the way it reflecting off the water is the best part " I say as I stand up and walk over to the railing looking out at the beautiful colors filling the sky " show me " he says and I furrow by eyebrows in confusion " what do you mean ?" I ask nervously " Face time me I want to see how beautiful it really is " he says calmly . " O-okay " I say as I hit the face time button and it connects almost instantly , I flip the camera quickly as I show it to him but instead of looking at it with him i'm staring at how fucking hot he looks . " wow your weren't lying its amazing " he says as his eyes move around taking in my view " I know , this place really makes the U.S seem dull and boring " I say as I still cant stop admiring him . "Sadly I have to agree with you on that " He says smiling . He flips his camera showing me the sunset he's currently seeing. " Oh my god ... its beautiful especially on a vineyard god I cant even imagine " I gasp as I take in the view . " It really is something huh" he says behind the camera . "mhm" I hum back smiling . He flips his camera back to his face and reluctantly so do I as I go to sit back down in my chair. " So are you in Greece all alone ?" he asks and I shake my head . " No i'm here with some friends but they've left me alone so I can write a little bit" I say and look into his beautiful eyes through the screen. " Ahh well that seems fun , a big trip with friends is always a good time " he says smiling taking a sip of wine . I admire him as I sigh and smile "Yeah its fun I just... I know i'm only 22 but I feel like i'm too old to be going out like they want to you know , its an every night thing " I say and he shakes his head laughing " trust me you are not too old y/n , you should be going out and having fun ... your young you gotta take advantage of it " he says and I smile " yeah I guess your right " I agree and he smiles before looking slightly behind me . I turn around seeing two of my friends standing by the back door smiling " WHO IS THATTTT " one of them yells and I smack her as she approaches . " No seriously hes so hot " my other friend says smirking . My face gets so red I look like a tomato . " Im so sorry Matt .... I should probably go but thank you again for the help " I rush out nervously " Of course y/n feel free to reach out anytime i'm more than happy to help " he says with a smirk that has me about to pass out in my chair . " Sounds good , have a good night " I say smiling " You too gorgeous " he says before hanging up. I gulp as I realize what he said before he hung up and my heart literally beets so loud I can hear it in my ears and feel it in my head.

" Guys seriously ... That was my old professor " I say as I turn to them still red in embarrassment . " WAIT LIKE ... PROFESSOR STURNIOLO THE ONE YOU NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT" she squeals and I nod . " Oh my god y/n whatttt ... he called you beautiful " she gasps and I hide my face in my hands . " I knowww " I say in a high pitched voice embarrassed. " Okay but like ... a FaceTime is crazyyyy , how did that even happen?" my friend ally asked and she sat down Callie doing the same. " well I emailed him asking if he would maybe read the recent chapters of my book and give me some feedback because I was struggling and then he emailed back and said it would be easier to call instead of email his notes so I gave him my number and then he told me that he thought my writing was great and a couple things I needed to add and then somehow we got to talking and he said he was in Italy and I said I was here and then he said something about how he was watching a beautiful sunset and I told him I was too then he asked me to show him over FaceTime so I did and then you guys came out and yeah " I rambled as they reacted with facial expressions and small gasps and squeals .

" No fucking way I mean girl ... he's gotta be into you I men he fully initiated the calls and shit andddd kept the conversation going after giving you the notes so like ..." ally says making me smile and blush . "Oh for sure he definitely wants you " Callie says smirking and shoving my shoulder . " No he doesn't y'all are reading into it to much" I say as I roll my eyes. " Y/n he called you beautiful ... be so for real right now he definitely likes you " Ally says and I cant help the smile that spreads across my face. " Okay I mean yeah but ... he was my professor we cant go there" I say and shake my head " Oh yes you fucking can , you graduated he isn't your professor anymore " Callie says making me laugh " okay whateverrr now lets go out I need to get drunk " I say as I close my computer and head back inside to get ready.

After a long night of drinking , dancing and laughing with my friends and random people we met throughout the night , Im stumbling up the stairs to our place with all of us giggling like school girls . " Y/n you should totally text him " Callie giggles and I laugh " No I may be drunk but I still know that would not be a good idea" I say and they all giggle " Oh come on you've wanted him for 4 years and he called you beautiful there's no way he'd shoot you down" ally says and I trip making us all laugh. " Shut the fuck up i'm not gonna do it " I say back but the thought runs through my head . " I mean you can send him a picture of this sunrise and say something like , this view would be better if you were beside me " she says and I burst out laughing " That is terrible like level 10 cringey " I say through gasps and giggles. " Okay yeah it was pretty bad but like send him a pic of it and say , is it as beautiful there or something" Callie says and I think about it " You know what okay fine ill do it" I say as I tussle through my purse grabbing my phone and taking a picture sending it to him then the " is it as beautiful there as it is here" .We all steel when I hit send and I throw my phone back in my bag .

" Alright i'm going to bed , my head is spinning right now" I say as I stumble to my room . I tear off my uncomfortable shoes and outfit and use a makeup wipe to get a good amount of my makeup off . Then flopping into bed way to exhausted and drunk to put pajamas on . I hear my phone ding so I fish it out now my purse seeing its a text from Matt . I open it and see its a picture of a sunrise with a text that says " Its pretty but not as breath taking as you" I gasp and throw my phone down giggling . I think of what to text back and decide to let my intrusive thoughts win " Thats a naughty thing to say Mr. sturniolo I was your student after all" with a smiley :) . I giggle at my text but my heart drops when I see the bubbles appear . " Key word was , ive always thought you were beautiful y/n I just kept those feelings hidden for the sake of being professional " his text read and I gasped . No way he just confessed to finding me attractive for these past four years . " Are you fucking with me ?" I text back . " No I mean every word I said , you're the most beautiful girl i've ever seen" he texts back and I scream into my pillow . " Well if we are being honest here ... i've had the biggest crush on you , the entire time I was in your class I couldn't keep my eyes off of you" I text back letting the alcohol fully take over . " Oh really , how many times did you fantasize about me during class?" he asks and I get nervous " every single day to be honest" I text back and 4 seconds later my phone is ringing . I pick it up giggling .

" Y/n " he greets " Matt " I greet back and I can hear him groan " Such a dirty girl for fantasizing about your professor " his deep morning voice says through the phone and I literally have to cover my mouth son moan doesn't slip out . " mm I have no shame about it " I say back smiling like a maniac " Oh I bet you don't , care to share any of these little thoughts you've had about me ?" he asks in a breathy tone making me clench my thighs " mmm I don't know, How bad do want to hear them? " I ask in a drunk but also seductive voice " Very bad " he answers back and I smile " Well i've thought about how you'd be in bed even had day dreams about it in class " I said and I could hear him groan " Oh trust me I know ... the way you'd look at me with your thighs clenched tight told me all I needed to know" he says with a deep chuckle . " y-you noticed that? I ask in a squeaky tone . "sweetheart I notice everything , you really think I didn't know you wanted me come on you made it so obvious" he says in a deep condescending tone making me clench my thighs as wetness pools between them . " I ... I didn't think I was that obvious " I say feeling embarrassed " No need to be embarrassed , I though about you too ... so so many times I wanted to take you over my desk but I couldn't ... but now now I can say whatever I want and there will be no consequences" he practically growls through the phone . I let a small whimper escape my lips and I can hear him groan . " God y/n you have no idea what you do to me" he groans and I whimper . " I could say the same to you Professor " I say in a teasing manner but I hear him mutter a fuck thinking I wouldn't hear it . " when do you get back to Oregon " he asks and I giggle " why ?" I ask " Just answer the question sweetheart " he says and I gulp " Friday" I answer and I can hear him click his tongue through the phone " You live alone ?" he asks and I gulp again " y-yes why" I ask again now feeling very nervous now. " How would you feel if I said im about to redirect my flight home to land in Oregon and stay for a couple days?" he asks and I can practically hear the smirk on his lips through the phone . " I-I yes I mean y-yeah id be okay with t-that" I answer back stuttering like an idiot as my stomach does summer salts. " Good now thats settled , ill be landing on Sunday that sound okay to you sweetey" he asks and I nod my head before realizing he cant see me . " Y-yes sir fuck I mean yes matt s-sorry force of habit " I rush out and I can hear him chuckle "Oh trust me I don't mind you calling me sir , sounds so good coming out of your pretty little mouth" he says and I moan unintentionally . "Well judging by the subtle slur to your words im guessing you haven't gone to sleep yet so ill let you go but well talk soon okay" he says " Mmm yes sir , goodnight " I say as I roll onto my side and get comfortable " Good night gorgeous sleep well " he says before ending the call .

Oh the girls are gonna freak about this when we all wake up .

....

[muffinsin]

Can you do Bela with a s/o thats very romantic but like theyre not gonna be like "only the best for my girl" with a rose between their teeth and a cheesy grin on their face but instead theyll do the cheesiest shit while bela js looks up half expecting the s/o to be js mocking her atp but theyre just.. deathly serious

(Sorry for my weird wording but i dont know how to use english grammar and im new on here)

Sure thing! Hoping I’ve understood it right! :)

Let’s get into it!

Masterlist 1

Masterlist 2

<3

Bela hasn’t experienced true romance before

Sure, there have been relationships in the past. As much is to be expected from a vampire-like being

Yet, romance itself is a strange and foreign concept to her, that mainly reminds her of her youngest sister’s choice of books

Every time she thinks of Daniela’s stories of princes sweeping their princesses off their feet, she rolls her eyes and mentally face palms herself

There is simply no place for romance in her life, she figures

That is, until she is with you

At first Bela is unsure whether you’re mocking her, or perhaps pulling her leg

Oftentimes she wakes up to notes on her bedside table from you, adorned with hearts and wishing her a good day, other times it’s poems or small lines. At other times again she finds the note containing praise and appreciation for her

She keeps all those notes, yet can’t help but feel as though you’re pulling her leg. What’s the meaning of the notes?

Then, sometimes, she finds herself staring at you in shock upon discovering you’ve drawn her a bath after a long day, yet out of the blue

She appreciates it a lot, and yet always stares at you wide eyed and in surprise at the dim light and candles set up in the bathroom

She especially loves it as you massage her in the bath. It feels so good

She can’t help but wonder why, though

At one point she is worried you’re dying- or perhaps assume that she is. The idea is silly to you, which makes her blush as you tell her so

Her golden eyes stare at you in disbelief when one day you walk up to her, out of the blue, and press a bouquet of flowers in her gloved, bloody hands

She looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights. Are you mocking her? No, yes, perhaps? She isn’t sure. Your behavior is so…odd. Yet it makes her chest flutter

Bela is left dumbfounded when you only peck her cheek lightly, stating that you had seen the roses at the Duke’s shop and thought their rich, red color reminded you of her

The day after she decides she must confront you. What are you doing?

…

Instead, the blonde finds herself blushing and tucked against your side as you read

She smiles whenever you turn the page and immediately remove one of your hands from the book to stroke her hair instead

It feels comforting and so lovely, Bela almost forgets her original plan

“Why are you doing all those things?”, she asks, perhaps a little too harsh judged by your wide eyes

She sighs. She didn’t mean for it to come out that way. Then, she tries again, calmer

“The flowers and notes and letters and baths and massages and breakfast in bed and taking me to the gardens- why?”

You stare at her, as if confused what she means

“What do you mean, why?”

Bela is caught off guard now. Wasn’t it obvious?

“Because I love you”, you add, then, as if sensing her dilemma

She frowns in confusion, and eyes you as you guide her back towards your chest, tucking her head just below yours

She hears your heartbeat, fast and loud. Excited, or perhaps nervous?

Her question is answered when you kiss the top of your head and explain your thoughts on romance to her. She listens, her fingers playing with a loose string of her sleeve

When you finish, you’re rewarded with a sweet, thankful kiss against your lips

Upon understanding, she feels foolish for believing you would mock and tease her

[dckweed]

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, gator tillman

in which gator tillman and his arranged bride figure out life and each other and what a real relationship means to them.

warnings: mentions and depictions of abuse, mentions of bruises, arranged marriages, romance, humor, dead parents, slow burn relationship (not completely but not not), basically we know the tillman men are asswipes so i 100% see Roy forcing gator into this kind of situation for money for his militia, eventual smut with kinks such as thigh riding, gun play, choking, spanking, lots of marking and possible spit play.

guess who's back :) torn ligament in my hand has officially been cleared for normal use (even though i've technically been using it like normal ((shhhhh don't tell my GM that)), anyway..) and im back with my babies!! originally, and you can ask @xxbookdrunkdemigodxx , i had planned this to be a little longer and lowkey include some smutty pieces, but, after sitting down and reading over the whole thing this afternoon i felt comfortable with this just being part six and letting the rest of what i had planned come together for part seven :) we've been working very hard behind the scenes to worldbuild for gator and his pearlie..

also, as a reminder i love receiving asks about these two! i also love recieving maybe some drabble ideas too :) my inbox is always open!

series masterlist here, series playlist here.

PART SIX: the bed, the smack and the date.

The weekend with Gator and his sisters was absolutely blissful compared to what you would probably be going back home to. Your fiancé had taken you home early Monday morning after you had helped drop off the girls, his parents on their way back from their trip, driving your car (which at the time you hadn’t realized was all part of his plan to keep you away from Boyd for as long as he could without it being suspicious) with you in the passenger seat, dancing bleary-eyed to the music playing through the speakers from your attached phone, one of your expensive fancy iced coffee’s (that he had happily paid for) in your hand. He couldn’t keep the smile from his lips as he watched you, something about the moment just so wholly you that he couldn’t help but wish he had more time to bask in it, but he was already pulling down the long dirt lane that belonged to Boyd, the house not too far off in the distance. 

“Thank you for drivin’ me..” You say, reaching up on your tip toes to kiss his cheek. He leans down just the littlest bit to make it easier for you and you can’t help but to blush at the action as he walks you up to the porch, your bag from the weekend clutched in the hand that he didn’t have loosely on the small of your back, guiding you. 

He hums in response, watching you turn your house key in the door. “I don’t have to be at work until tonight..” He says, following you over the threshold. “Figured maybe we could go back to sleep for a few hours..go get a late lunch or something later?” He had absolutely no intention of leaving you by yourself in the same house as Boyd, not after what he knew, and he would do all he could to make sure you were around him as little as possible, without you knowing. 

“..sounds nice..” You yawn, closing the door and shuffling behind him sleepily. You guys had been up awfully late planning the engagement party, set to be held next weekend, and hadn’t fallen asleep until about an hour before it was time to get the girls up, he had insisted on getting your things packed up and the both of you getting out of the house before his parents came back and despite being exhausted, you weren’t going to argue with him, not wanting to have to put on a show or face any questions about the wedding or dress shopping just yet. “Y’gonna snuggle with me?” “Pearl!” The tone in his voice is cause for concern, but for some reason, with Gator here, you don’t put yourself on high alert. “What have I told you abou-” He comes from his office, stepping into the large entrance of the house, eyes locking on the man behind you as you both turn towards his voice, Gator already on the staircase. “Gator, what are you doing here this morning?” He paints on a cordial face, his voice turning pleasant, but you see the way he looks at you. 

Gator puts a hand on your shoulder, pulling you against his firm body though he stands about two stairs above you. “Morning Sir.” The same coolness he uses with his father lacing through his voice, his hand squeezes your shoulder soothingly, as if trying to massage the tension out of it. “We were up all night planning our engagement party, and with my parents coming home this morning, we figured we’d come here to get some sleep..” You’re looking up at him and he looks down, giving you a small smile. “Right hon?” You nod your head, putting a hand over top of the one he has on your shoulder as you give your step-father a small, gentle smile. “Figured we’d go get a late lunch or somethin’ before I head in to work later this evening too..” 

Boyd seems hesitant but clearly doesn’t want to argue and simply nods his head, dropping whatever he was about to yell at you about before. “Right..i’ll make sure you’re not disturbed.” He says, turning to go back into his office. 

You both watch him walk away, leaving the two of you in your slightly awkward embrace. “What was that about snuggling?” Gator asks, his voice playful once the office door is shut firmly behind the man. You roll your eyes at him and turn around, swatting his butt playfully as he chuckles and starts heading up the stairs ahead of you. 

Your bed looks so warm and inviting when you walk in that you don’t even bother to take off your shoes before diving right into the middle of it, breathing in the smell of your favorite fabric softener. “God, i fucking missed this bed..” You groan, stretching. 

“Oh i’m sorry, is my bed not good enough for you?” Gator asks from the foot of the bed, you feel one of his large warm hands on your ankle, pulling your sandal off for you before tossing it unceremoniously onto the floor, doing the same for your other foot before crawling up the bed to lay next to you, his shirt and basketball shorts somehow having been shed and tossed onto the floor as well. 

“Your bed is fine but it’s..such a boy bed.” You say, scooting up towards your pillows so you can get underneath of your fluffy duvet, rubbing against his warm body as you go. “And it’s small..” 

“The hell does that even mean?” He asks, bewildered as he turns onto his side, draping an arm over your waist like he had been doing the past couple of nights to get comfortable. Now that he had done it, he found it awfully soothing. 

“It means that it was very obviously slept in by a boy for its entire life.” You counter, snuggling yourself against his chest, your ass wiggling against him as you pull the comforter up to your chin, his grip around your waist tightens but you don’t question it, happy to be in bed and relaxed. “It’s all hard and lumpy and cold..not nearly as inviting as rhonda..”

He lifts his head up, peering down at you through narrowed eyes. “Pearl you did not seriously name your fuckin’ bed.” He says, absolutely bewildered by you. 

“Named yours too,” You yawn, comfortable as you look back at him. “Steve.” 

“Steve?” He snorts, and you can practically hear his eyes rolling as he lays his head back down. “If anything, my bed is named like..Brock or something..something bro-y, you know?” 

“Brock is such a dickwad name, Steve is much better.” You cackle when you feel him flick the back of your head before swatting your ass when you start wiggling around. 

“Shut up and go to sleep you fuckin’ dipshit..” He says, and you really don’t need any more urging than that. 

Sleeping with Gator is like sleeping with a life sized teddy bear. He’s warm and snuggly, and despite his hard body, he’s quite soft. You’re not surprised when you wake up with your face buried in his chest, your body half slung over his own around four that afternoon. He had woken up first and had just laid there, his hand ghosting up and down your back as he stared at your dresser, hazel eyes focused on the photos smattering the top of it. 

“Gator?” He hums in response, turning his head to look down at you. His hand stops moving, and you miss the soothingness of it almost immediately. “What time is it?” 

A smile tugs at the corners of his lips, the hand that wasn’t on your back going to rake through his messy hair. “We slept all day..” His voice isn’t gravelly like it normally is when he’s slept and you wonder just how long he’s been awake for. “It’s a little after four..” You groan, knowing you’re not possibly going to get any sleep tonight. 

“Boyd’s not going to be pleased..” You sigh, rubbing your eyes with one hand as you push yourself up with the other, Gator’s hand falling from your back. You don’t notice the pout on his lips as you let out a yawn, running a hand through your hair. Your stomach growls as you stretch, and you let out a gasp, embarrassed. 

“Hungry?” H chuckles, watching you from his perch on the pillows as you quickly crawl off the bed, giving him a nice view of your supple ass. “Go on and get dressed, I'll take you to an early dinner..”

You don’t need to be told twice. You emerge from your walk-in closet merely a few minutes later, a pink co-ord set on. The pants were a sweatpants material, but clung nicely to your legs and sat low slung on your hips, leaving your belly on display, giving Gator a good view of the belly button piercing he hadn’t realized you had before as it gleamed against your sunkissed skin. You hum as you stand in front of your vanity, arms lifting up as you brush your hair, slicking it back so you can put it up into a claw clip. Your top is the same material as your bottoms, only from wait Gator can tell, much thinner. You are clearly not wearing a bra, your nipples standing at attention under the fabric and he wonders briefly if you’re cold or if the material is tickling you..either way, he found himself thinking that he’d be more than happy to help you remedy the situation if you wanted him to. He swallows thickly as he realizes that you don’t have the zip done up all the way either, your tits pushed up and practically spilling out, but somehow, when you turn around to ask him how your hair looks, he realizes that it’s a perfectly innocent outfit on you, cute and almost certainly wholesome to those who might see you around town this afternoon. 

He wondered if you did that on purpose. If you knew you were sexy, but tried to downplay it with the innocent sweetness that always seemed to exude from you, whether it be in personality or your clothing. He wanted to find out. 

“You look fine..” He tells you, smiling gently at you from his spot on your bed. You beam with happiness, and the sight alone made him want to tell you that a thousand more times if it meant you would smile like that again. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom and get dressed, meet me out by the car?” You hum in agreement and he watches you grab your little white purse off of the top of your dresser, where you had tossed it when you walked in. He narrows his eyes but doesn't say anything, did you think he wouldn’t pay for everything? He wondered as he watched you step out into the hallway. 

“I am so fucked..” He breathes when the door closes behind you, letting out a relieved breath as he removed your thankfully thick comforter from his lap where it had been doing a mighty fine job of concealing his erection that had begun to pop up as he was watching you merely do your hair. 

You try to go down the stairs as quietly as you can, wanting to just slip out the door and avoid Boyd as much as you can, though he seems to sense you before you’ve even made it halfway down. 

“Y/N, my office.” He says (though you don’t see him anywhere), using your birth name in a tone of voice that sends shivers down your spine. You wondered if it was too late to turn around and run back up to your room, to lock yourself in there with Gator, where you knew you were safe..

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath as you step off of the bottom stair and onto the antique rug that lay at the bottom. “Yes, Boyd?” You ask softly, stepping through the doorway of his office when you feel confident enough. If you needed Gator, you knew you would only need to scream and he would come running. 

He looks up from his desk, eyebrows tightly knitted together. He’s poised to say something, though it never leaves his lips and instead, he purses them as he zeroes in on your belly. You flush, moving your purse in front of it. You hadn’t told him that you had gotten it done when you turned eighteen. 

“What the hell is that?” He asks, his voice stiff. He was quite the prim and proper man. He disliked piercings, thought they were rebellious and for people who were going to hell. 

“It’s cute, isn’t it?” You say, hoping that you can sway him from his anger. “I got it done on my birthday last year..” He stands from his desk and strides over to you, faster than you had ever seen before. “Boy-” He pushes your purse out of the way and stares down at it. 

“I ought to rip it out.” He says, voice seething. “It makes you look like a fucking whore, Pearl. Is that what you are? Are you a fucking whore?” You figured this wouldn’t be a good time to tell him that you most definitely were not a virgin. “Your mother would be asha-”

 thwack. 

Your hand stung from the force of the blow you had dealt to his face, smacking him so hard that his head flung to the side. “You do not get to tell me about what my mother would think of me.” You say, tears welling in your eyes. “Not when she was alive, and certainly not fucking now..she was my mom before she was ever your wife, you’d do well to remember that, Boyd.” 

You don’t know what came over you, but you had had enough of your mother being held over your head. You knew that she wouldn’t ever think you were a whore. She wouldn’t ever make you feel the way this man did, and she never did, even when she was alive. Even through all of the years of keeping Boyd’s abuse a secret from her, you knew that your mother had loved you, had cherished you. That was one thing that he had never been able to beat into your head, though he never ceased to try. 

You seem to have shocked him into silence for once in his life, and you take it as you winning whatever the fuck this standoff was, triumphantly but still on edge you turn on your heel and walk out, all but running to the front door before he comes to his senses and chases after you. 

You’re crying by the time Gator comes outside a few moments later, you’re standing next to the Jeep when the front door closes. Quickly, hoping he doesn’t notice you wipe your eyes, brushing away the stray tears as he comes down the walk. Even from where you were you could see his eyebrows furrow, the pep in his step turning into a brisk walk as he rushes towards you. 

“Pearl? What’s wrong, hon?” He asks, voice oddly gentle. One hand cups your face when you try to turn away, wiping away tears as they start to fall again. Your hand still hurts from how hard you had hit him, and you cradle it in your other one. “Why’re you cryin’?” 

You shake your head, looking over his shoulder as best as you can. Boyd is watching you guys from his office window. “Not here..please..” You whisper, looking up at him. “He’s watching us..” He looks briefly over his shoulder, his body shielding your own. “Let’s just go..please..” 

He ushers you into the passenger side of your Jeep, opening and closing the door for you before going around to get in, silently starting the engine before he starts pulling down the drive. It’s not until he’s halfway to town that he speaks again. 

“What happened, pearl?” His voice is soft, gentle and calming but you understand that there’s an edge to it. That finding you in tears wasn’t something that was going to easily be let go in his book and part of you found comfort in that notion. 

“I smacked him.” The car stops so quickly that you have to smack your hand on top of the dashboard to keep yourself from being choked out by your seatbelt. “Ow..” You pout, shaking out your still smarting hand. 

Gator turns to face you completely, one hand still on the wheel as he peers at you from the driver's side. “You did what?” A sense of pride swelled up inside of him at your words, but he was so shocked that he wasn’t sure he had actually heard you properly. 

Your lips quiver as you look at him. “He..he told me i looked like a whore because of my belly button piercing..” His hand tightened on the steering wheel. “And i..and then he told me he should rip it out and that my mama would be ashamed of me and i don’t know what came over me but I smacked him..” Tears glistened in your eyes as you looked up at him, pouty lips and all. “Are you mad at me?” 

What kind of silly question was that? “Babygirl..why would I ever be mad at you for standing up for yourself?” He asks you, and you could have started bawling. “I would be mad if you hadn’t hit him for talking to you that way, you know?” He says, his hand coming to your face to wipe the tears falling from your eyes away. You lean into his touch and he presses his hand against your face even harder as if he was trying to soothe your mind. “Pearl, if anyone ever talks to you that way again or in any fuckin’ way that offends you, you give them what's comin’ you hear me? Even if it’s me.” Just thinking about talking to you that way makes him want to smack his own self. “No, especially if it's me.” You give a teary eyed nod and he leans over the console to place a surprisingly gentle kiss to your forehead. “Good, now let's get you something to eat, okay? Make you feel better..” 

You knew it was too late in the day for it, but you finally weren’t too shy to ask him for it. “Can we get an iced coffee, please Gator?” And somehow, just like always when it came to him in the short time you’d known him, you got what you wanted, he even went in with you this time before walking with you to the diner, enjoying the nice afternoon air with your hand slipped in his. 

It was practically dinner time but neither of you had actually eaten anything yet that day, having spent all of it sleeping and neither of you were surprised when you ordered the heaviest things you could imagine. The two of you talked throughout your meals, eating slowly to enjoy the time together without even realizing it, you enjoyed hearing him tell you about his friends and how he couldn’t wait for you to meet them, all the while people were stopping by your guys’ booth to say hello or introduce themselves and congratulate you guys on your engagement. The entire time however, your mind is locked on to one thought, and it makes you quiet after a while (which is fine because Gator can talk enough for the both of you when he wants to). 

“Whatcha thinkin’ about over there?” He asks suddenly, bringing you out of your thoughts. You’re pushing your side order of french fries around your plate, whats left of your biscuits and gravy coating them. “Whatever it is, looks like you’re pondering awful hard on it..”

You open your mouth to answer before closing it again, not wanting to sound..well..you weren’t sure how you didn’t want to sound but whatever it was, you were worried that your thoughts were going to make you sound annoying in some way or another. “Gator, can I ask you something?” You ask quietly, to which he only hums, taking a bite of his giant burger. “Um..when we..you know..get married..are..is it..um..are we going to like..see other people?” You cringe at your own words, surprised when he chokes on his mountain dew. “Gat-”

“What?” He asks, looking at you as if you were a cat that had grown five heads right in front of him. 

“Well, it’s just that.. You know..I know both of us are being forced to do this..” You start wrinkling your nose in disgust at your own words and wishing you could turn time back about fifty seconds so you wouldn’t have to keep living through this. “We barely know each other, let alone love each other..so i was just..thinking that it’s..it’s okay if you want to carry on a relationship with someone else once we’re..married…” 

The look on his face was one of someone who had just seen a puppy being kicked. Hurt and confusion masked his face as he made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. “No.” He says, finally finding his voice after a few long moments. “It’s not.” You look up at him, confused. “We are getting married, Pearl. The only relationship that should be carried on is with each other..I know we haven’t known each other long, but i’m doing my best here to try and..try and date you at least before we have to go and say ‘I do’ in front of the whole entire town..” He scratches the back of his neck, looking out the large window and into the light of the slowly setting sun. “I want us to have a chance, as crazy as it sounds..You deserve to be happy, Pearl, and I suppose I do too despite what our parents seem to believe..I was hoping to give us a chance at that with each other, you know?” 

You were stunned. You couldn’t think of any words to say as he stares at you, wide eyed and skin flushed, as if he were embarrassed. You find yourself sliding out of the bench seat on your side of the booth and sidling up next to him. “Pea-umhf” You kiss him. Both hands on either side of his face, body as close to his as you can possibly get in the tight fit between the table and seat. He seems completely stunned but doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back, his large hand cupping a side of your face, fingers tangling in your hair as he pulls you harder against his side, struggling to turn to face you properly in the small space. 

You have to take a deep breath when you finally pull away, your mind hazy from the lack of oxygen reaching your brain. Your lips felt swollen and bruised from the intensity of the moment and dammit if you didn’t like it. “So..we’re dating?” You ask, cheeks flushed as you situate yourself next to him, reaching across the tabletop for your dr. pepper. You stay sitting next to him for the rest of dinner, his arm over your shoulders, both of you sneaking in little kisses in between mouthfuls of food. 

taglist: @ruth-barnes @justherebecausesafarisucks @daisy-is-a-writer @xxbookdrunkdemigodxx @girlwiththerubyslippers @keerygal @lilllbabyyy @boa-hemian @sweetdazequeen @emilyj444 @whisperingwillowxox @babyqnn @lou-la-lou @aestheticaltcow @finalmoondragon @boxofsmittens @pollyspocketdimension @kassy-munson @frostandflamesfanfic @mysticalstar30 @totally-bogus-timelady @nerdypinupcrystal @emmiecrush5-blog @witchcovenboys @starksbabie @marrowfrog00 @boop369 @lelenikki @xmalfoyweasleyx @girlwiththerubyslippers @keerysfolklore @gothicwidowsworld @palmtreesx3 @sacr1ficial-lamb @kingdomkitten32 @littlelovebug98 @cillsnostalgia @stardancerluv @iamaconfusedpan @cupofjoekeery @underthecanyonmoon

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 9/10/2024

someone adopt this little orange man from me in Houston TX! more details here!

listening

the 1991 Ella Mae Morse compilation Capitol Collectors Series is the official driving-cats-to-the-vet album bc it is so mellow but still fun. this album has previously been featured several times in tuesdayposts but i think you should all listen to it again.

seven thousand three hundred days IS a long long time to sleep ur so right ella

-

reading

two different works that annoyed me: Emily Hamilton's The Stars Too Fondly. my first clue should have been that this is my least favorite poem, bc ppl would quote it to me smugly after my mom died. im sure they thought they were being so super comforting to a budding astronomer, but, much like how i can no longer eat lasagna bc ppl gave us Twenty! Party! Size! Platters! Of! Lasagna! after my mom died (they would just Appear on our front porch, frozen), too much of this poem really soured me.

i had this book on hold Forever and then delayed delivery twice bc i have not felt like reading lately. here's the publisher's description:

In her breathtaking debut—part space odyssey, part sapphic rom-com—Emily Hamilton weaves a suspenseful, charming, and irresistibly joyous tale of fierce friendship, improbable love, and wonder as vast as the universe itself. So, here’s the thing: Cleo and her friends really, truly didn’t mean to steal this spaceship. They just wanted to know why, twenty years ago, the entire Providence crew vanished without a trace. But then the stupid dark matter engine started all on its own, and now these four twenty-somethings are en route to Proxima Centauri, unable to turn around, and being harangued by a snarky hologram that has the face and attitude of the ship’s missing captain, Billie. Cleo has dreamt of being an astronaut all her life, and Earth is kind of a lost cause at this point, so this should be one of those blessings in disguise that people talk about. But as the ship gets deeper into space, the laws of physics start twisting, old mysteries come crawling back to life, and Cleo’s initially combative relationship with Billie turns into something deeper and more desperate than either woman was prepared for. Lying somewhere in the subspace between science fantasy and sapphic rom-com, The Stars Too Fondly is a soaring near-future adventure about dark matter and alternate dimensions, leaving home and finding family, and the galaxy-saving power of letting yourself love and be loved.

should be catnip for me, right? wrong. starts out as a chat fic, which i hate.

i had a lot of trouble finishing the first chapter, which also has an extended third-person omniscient narrator flashback in italics, a thing i also hate. i KNOW you can figure out how to integrate this information into the book in a better way instead of dumping it in my lap.

i think part of why this is not hitting like i wanted is the tone, because i think this veers more new adult than i was really hoping for. i think introducing a big group all at once is very hard to do effectively. i do not like a series of character introductions that feel like they are trying to sell me action figures. or perhaps blind-bag figures. i do not like a six-deep list of cheesy puns about someone's name. i do not have the patience to see if this debut novel finds its footing a little later on, though i am glad a sapphic ghost in the machine romance exists in this world.

i also read dean motter's mister x (both the original late eighties through early nineties run and the 2008 follow-on).

let's yoink the description from wikipedia:

Set in Radiant City, a dystopian municipality influenced by Bauhaus and Fritz Lang's Metropolis, the series concerns a mysterious figure who purports to be its architect. His radical theories of "psychetecture" cause the citizenry to go mad, just as he did, and he takes on the mission to repair his creation. To accomplish this he remains awake twenty-four hours a day by means of the drug "insomnalin", all the while coping with a Dick Tracy–like rogues gallery and supporting cast including his long-suffering ex-girlfriend Mercedes. (ed note: the redhead in the santa beard below)

the art in this comic book is really and truly stunning. everyone was firing on all cylinders. beautiful retrofuturistic advertisement vibes, very fun play with panels and word balloons while still being readable, there are airships, you know how it is. looooooooove a hardboiled noir.

the Concept of mister x, this horrible awful futuristic city that grinds its citizenry up and spits them out? both figuratively and sometimes literally? love it!!! love a great wounded beast of a city as a character!!!

unforch the "who is mister x" subplot does not resolve in a satisfying way, imo. there's a lot of flip-flopping, there's a lot of options, he ends up being (maybe?) someone he was very definitively proven NOT to be in an earlier issue, and it really soured me on the whole experience. and also i don't believe it! that specific person makes no fucking sense! who mister x is, is by far the least interesting part of the series. tell me more about how he's fixing the city. show me more of the city. shut up and dance, robot artists

-

watching

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016, dir. Singer). this movie did not need to be two and a half hours long. appreciated the EXTREMELY divorced energy from charles & erik though, quicksilver rescuing the school scene was also very fun. my bestie's husband has informed me we are NOT watching Dark Phoenix, i'm not sure if we're going to loop back and watch the ??? number of wolverine films or if we're going to see how i feel about deadpool. bc i find this character insufferable through clips only.

-

playing

there is a feature in the video game genshin impact to turn your World Level (TM) down in order to make overworld enemies a little easier. i am at seven out of nine bc i genuinely can't finish the boss to unlock world level 9, and i am finding some of the overworld enemies too hard at 8 and want to finish the achievements in a more relaxed fashion.

-

making

this is going to be a lot of previously posted pics so bear with me.

saturday morning/saturday evening. plants? repotted. porch and stairs? swept. old wasp nests? knocked down. different mirror on the porch to go out to the curb when i have the energy? yes. also a giant slab of engineered stone from the top of a dresser but that's out of frame.

speaking of the giant broken dresser that was in my apartment when i moved in just over a year ago, i ripped it apart with a crowbar and threw it in the dumpster. put my pretty zebrawood desk in the empty space and started thinking about what to hang on that wall. the wall across from it is maps, bc i think a cozy office should have lots of maps and it makes a good video conference background. maybe this will be the dedicated cowboy nonsense wall. i did so much dusting and vacuuming and mopping and the girls can't even hang out in here bc the orange boy is in the office bathroom. big sigh.

also a lot of driving around and emailing and calling thirty shelters and rescues figuring out how to get this orange man a home. please take this orange man off my hands.

[caffeinated-and-annoying-bard]

Dude I am going thru a sixteenth-life crisis (smaller than quarter-life crisis) right now I do not know what to do. I’ve FINALLY figured out after much deliberation that i have the fattest crush (dangerously close to love) on my good friend (we met almost a year ago and have been inseparable since [this is a vast improvement for me considering that i had known my ex for all of two and a half weeks before we got together for the first time]) but i have no clue if she’s into me like that at all (shes bi so im not worried about if shes into girls or not). We have a super close and affectionate friendship because we’re both just like that and im a super tactile and physically affectionate person with my friends, so we’re always holding hands or sitting pressed up against each other or hugging or leaning on each other or whatever. AND we use pet names for each other (just pookie and honey) but like in a half serious half joking way yk. AND when i spent the night at her house we fell asleep in her bed cuddling and we were so close and i dont know if im reading too much into it or not AND we went with a couples costume of Fred Casely and Roxie Hart from Chicago to the harvest dance at my school AND people tell us all the time that we have to be a couple or that we need to start dating immediately but she doesn’t really like those jokes bcs of how prevalent they are with us. Please help i am so confused.

Alright alright alright first rule of the crisis: do not panic (it's a bit of an oxymoron, but HEAR ME OUT) your body feels like it's being chased by a tiger. It is not being chased by a tiger. Make sure it gets the memo, because you need it up and working for Smart Decision Making and when you panic the logic part of your brain shuts down COMPLETELY (for optimising faster, running-from-tiger decision making)

Breathe in, breathe out. The tiger is not here in the room. I know the thought of making a friendship awkward (I don't even count losing a friendship for your case, seems pretty much impossible at the point) it's very, really, truly, genuinely, honestly, and all of the y words for "a lot"; fucking scary. But she isn't going to bite your head off, so think with the brain, not with the adrenaline pumps, alright??⁉️⁉️⁉️?? [shaking you by the shoulders] EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT. HIGHSCHOOL CRUSHES ARE VERY IMPORTANT BUT ALSO VERY DUMB SO,IF IT TRULY MATTERS TO YOU: KEEP THE "IT'S YOUNG LOVE AND VERY DUMB. THAT'S WHY I CAN AFFORD ENJOYING IT AND LOVING NOW" QUOTE IN MIND !!!!!! ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

🌄i'll be using colours and emojis so it's easier to keep track of the text because this'll be a long message and I know the brain hates those.

Now, I'm not exactly the romance Cassandra (although I've felt like it for almost 2 years now, with the romantic problems my friend Abril manages to collect (like pokèmon) and whatnot), i'm one of the "feels lonely even wi5h friends"-est guy you'll meet, and remember i'm the guy who hasn't told his best friend of 6 years he capital-l- Loved him for almost half of it. But it's way easier to think about solutions when you're not involved, so I'll do my best to give decent advice ‼️‼️‼️💥:

1. Starting from the bottom: (‼️‼️it COULD be just wishful thinking, be warned, but keep in mind that i'd also be uncomfortable and ashamed if my friends kept making shipping jokes about me and my close-friend-whom-i-do-indeed-dig-a-bit, (talking from experience) for a number of reasons, up but not limited to: "what if they don't like me and they find out i like them through this and everything goes to hell", "I don't like Feeling Exposed", the classic "it's none of their business to meddle in my relationships", and "it makes me feel objectified, like a character being shipped for the enjoyment of others" so i wouldn't take her feelings about the shipping jokes for a rotund no

2. I'd recommend to evaluate: YOU are a very physically affectionate person with all of your friends (moreso with her, but that's not relevant to the scientific method), but is she?? Does she hug and hold hands and use petnames and shit with other friends of hers? (please take into the equation people with whom she has been friends for as long as you, to be more precise) please come back to the classroom to share your results. I am positive she's also very touchy-feely with YOU, from what you've said,but does she ever initiate it with other people?

My usual method is "write everything down in a scientific table like a madman and make a spreadsheet at 2am" but i wouldn't recommend it unless you genuinely have no idea.

3. Good and heavenly Mary are all wlw this oblivious????????? (joking, it's just that YOU GUYS WENT AS THE MURDERER-AND-MURDERED COUPLE TO A DANCE).

4. I do not think it's a lost cause. Worst case scenario, she's in denial and/or very oblivious.

If you want to find out, I recommend to gradually level up the flirting WHENEVER YOUR FRIENDS AREN'T AROUND BECAUSE THAT'LL MAKE HER FEEL EXPOSED OR WORSE, THE LAUGHING STOCK

Maybe start with small gifts? Paper cranes and plausible deniability are my favourite pick but you know her and I don't, so go on, tiger skeleton‼️‼️it will drag on a bit but after she becomes used to it you can start making paper rings and hearts or something. WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING YOU NOTICE

If your experiments start giving positive results, and if any of you is good at makeup, ask her to do yours/ask to do hers and sit very closely until she starts to see the inherent romanticism of being a canvas/making of you friend's face a canvas

I am not joking the tension is insufferable even when you don't like-like the person doing your makeup i can promise that much‼️‼️

If none of this gives results, I recommend the Víctor Muñoz (your obedient servant)method: pining until you die🤝🤝👍‼️‼️💥💥🗣️🎉

Nah, more seriously: I do believe you have a strong shot, and wish you the best of lucks! Don't panic, she won't hurt you! Just evaluate, write down, science. Science it up until you have a girlfriend.

Loser out,

Val

[lokorum]

Pls rant about non romance cole…he’s my favorite character in anything, ever and it feels so sad that we never got to have a deeper relationship w him. Like the mechanics/possible lore of having a romance with a spirit are so tantalizingly interesting but no…also doubting we will see him in veil guard which leaves me so so broken …

*looks at their pile of unpacked feelings about cole*

so ૮( ◡̀_◡́)ა where to start....................

first of all uh! im not good at talking! that's why i draw phphp but i'll try my best to resurrect my memories from 2014 and share it with you!! sorry if it will sound weird, english is not my native language! 

well WELL from the begining then. i remember spending hours  more like days hhhh thinking about how weird and cool the recruiting scene with cole is? later when he is already with the inquisition, our party is either on guard around him or kinda treats him like he is helpless and needs special attention or guidance or something like that? demonising someone like him or framing them as in need of help are like textbook behavior ofc and im not here to be a hater, i just noticed it? moments with solas and varric fighting over him like a divorced couple are super cute for sure!!

but i remember being confused because excuse me, out of all of them, this guy??, this feral bat that is chilling on the ceiling like it's a lounge-zone inside Lucius' head, created especially for him?

he is confident. also a little bit nervous, a bunch mysterious and just ghostly cool. but also confident. (im not saying this confidence is not misplaced sometimes btw x) he even tells you that if you'll leave your head you'll die! what a jokester (҂ ꒦ິヮ꒦ິ)

and the whole quest with templars and envy are soooo horror coded, i love it!! it looked a bit silly, sure

(even after so many years im not able to get rid of the image in my brain phphphp) 

but it's still a very interesting quest!! dorian is ✨the bestie✨ but i'm always picking templars bc the implications of the story are just so good

1. its placed at the beginning of the game and your character is probably confused and anxious and dont yet worked out the routine of how to deal with their new title\powers + not every inquisitor character would want to be in the spotlight.

imagine you suddenly got yourself into position where a lot of people looking up to you, listening to what you saying, placing their hopes on you or waiting for you to fail? this is terrible! id 1000% just jumped out of a cliff!!! a small one, but still 

2. you meeting the guy who basically came from a place you now have unlimited access to.

he is: a) almost as confused as you are b) possibly came to this world without knowing consequences of that decision c) along the way he is figuring out how to be himself in the environment that is nothing like where he used to live. wow thats just like forced immigration *nervous laugh*

3. and let's not forget that you are meeting him inside your head and you can say to him "you look familiar".

dont know about you but apparently i dont need much to start screaming ¯(ツ)/¯

also can i just spend the moment to say that this is three (3) identical dialogue options??????????

the screenshot is from here btw

how awesome would it be to be able to figure out stuff together? to find comfort in someone, with someone who barely experienced it this way? to build on your strong sides? like "hope" for cole and i guess "unhingedness" for the inquisitor? i bet they would ground each other easily as well: cole distracting inq by being unintentionally mischievous and inq would have a notepad with cole's "firsts ____" or they would just read together. oh im such a sucker for hurt\comfort\some things cant be healed stuff uaaaaaaaaa

ALSO THE "FORGET" THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the drama the horror the tension!!!!!!!! you can fight me over this but heres the thought:

cole being so stressed that he is erasing\being on the edge of erasing the inquisitor's memories??????

i got the feeling that cole's confidence in the concept of "help" is, among other things, makes him being able to zoom in on something borderline obsessively? or vise versa - dismissively, not noticing "it hurts, its not for the better"? he thanks you when you promise to kill him, he cries when you do not. i swear this man (─ ‿ ─)

+quick addition bc im not entirely sure: so if i got it right, the anchor makes the inquisitor "too bright" to read? so among all the people we know about inq is the one that cole can't truly empathise on this lvl? on spiritual lvl you might say lsdkjflksdjflkj sorry!!!!! but jokes aside,this is like the perfect ground to build both comforting stories 

"someone from the party notices that cole is hanging near inq before inq do, and when asked he explains it by saying something like "dry warm skin. the air is stilled with quiet, easy to breathe. i followed the shining whispers and then i was followed no more" with the most plain face possible? "

and "today for lunch i have glass" kind of stories, like "the inquisitor is cornered and possibly bleeding and probably on the verge of passing out and they know that situation is bad and no one should follow/find them, "it's better to wait it out and deal with it on my own" kind of clown behavior. so they laugh tiredly at how pathetic they are, maybe remembering something similar from their childhood, remarks from their sibling for ex., and just trying their best to not think about how they need cole's help, cole's presence. the sense of safety that comes when he is around" 

uh!!! that wasnt neither quick or painless so i'll go make a tea wait a second please

im back!! so since i talked about the forget thing i must confess - i dont really like cole's personal quest???? again, im not complaining or anything but i remember feeling kinda empty while playing it? like deep inside me, there was something sad, but it was so far away,i coudn't even feel it properly?

both human and spirit versions of his ending made me feel like the distance between you and him lengthened, and maybe you could do something about it before but now? this "something" is missing and you're lost and can't even tell for sure if theres was a chance to do something in the first place? and cole just moved on? its super logical considering he is not a romance option but phphph so, i rarely romance someone in games, partly bc rpg tends to be a little horny and im that kind of ace who is not interested in this, partly bc i tend to pay attention to non-romanceable characters, so when i started to explore last da:i dlc and i saw cole having gf i was like "well ouch".

imagine your inq has a crush on cole but they never were able to say it clearly?

mb it was a melancholic slowburn, and your character was going through too much and felt like burdening cole with their problems would be unfair?

maybe they tried but the timing was wrong, the words felt stupid, and their hands felt too dirty, too guilty?

oh anon its been ten years and its still huuuuuurts!!!! if you following me for a while you know that im an edge lord in poor disguise so its not surprising for neither you or me that i ended up rumbling about inexplicable sadness and crushing existential guilt, but sorry for that anyway!! if anyone would want me to talk about something specific, or to draw something - im here, staring at the wall, listening to cole's banter :') thank you for the wonderful question tho, it was more than just nice to return back to this ship. im so agreeing with you about cole being the fave character from everything, but i also understand that this could mean being very unsatisfied with the way he was portrayed at some points or just with the fact that characters like him are rare so im sending you warm and tight hugs and a little sketch!! <3 

let's collectively accept the fact that dav gonna be a beautiful mess, we gonna love it (passionately), we gonna be hurt by it (not surprisingly) and COLE FOREVER WILL BE THE BEST DA CHARACTER EVER IM NOT GONNA CHANGE MY MIND FIGHT ME

[drake-bois]

Omg, ur thing with gale kisses was so sweet, I can't stop reading and thinking about this 😭🥺❤️✨

But what about us giving him kisses maybe? 🥺👉👈 I luv my man, I wanna smooch him to death 😚✨

omgggg gale needs kisses so so bad i love him so much!! ty for the request!!

kisses served for gale🤍

a/n: tysm anon for this lovely request!!🫶🏻 g/n reader, mostly just talking about what i see happening and what you would do🤭 may be a bit spicy so just in case MDNI 18+! 💜

you're enough for me kiss

we all know(at least before the orb is taken care of) that he is very unsure that he's enough for you. he always tells you that yourenough for him, but he doesn't believe that you love him for who he is. He doesn't think that would be even remotely possible. One particularly bad night, he's nearly in tears because of his self doubt (it hurts my heart so bad to see him doubt himself so much :( ) and you're just holding him and he's on the verge of tears and you keep kissing him on the cheek and the lips and the forehead and the nose, and telling him over and over again that he is more than enough for you, just the way he is. you don't need him any other way than just plain old Gale Dekarios. The most handsome wizard that is the most gentleman of all gentlemen. "you're enough for me gale. just the way you are. i'm never leaving your side. we'll figure this out." you say as he's calming down. "you promise?" he says, unsure still. "i promise, cross my heart and hope to marry you(because he can't fathom the thought of you dying so we'll keep it at that) he chuckles and kisses you. "thank you my love. even on my darkest of days, you are my light and the reason to keep living. to keep fighting." (ok i made myself cry im so sorry)

after a difficult fight kiss

after a particularly difficult fight, you guys run to each other, tears in each others eyes, and capture one another in the tightest of all embraces. the mere thought of losing you for him is utterly unfathomable, he couldn't bare it, and vice versa. you pull back, look him in the eyes with the desperation of a thousand suns and kiss him with the intent of never detaching. it is so passionate, but not because it's sensual, it's a need to know you still can, you can still kiss, embrace, and be with each other. after fights like these, you kiss gale all night long, never leaving each others embrace.

i need you now kiss

he's been eyeing you all night, and you can't take it anymore. you stand up with such purpose it nearly startles the whole camp, you grab gale and walk off to a secluded area, party members giving you and gale knowing glances. you don't let him talk, he knowingly conjures up a nice bed, and you push him down, and climb on top of him and kiss him with so much passion, it takes him by surprise, though pleasant. you grip his beautiful long hair with one hand and one hand on his cheek, he can't help but hope this isn't going to be a one time thing, (being a dom all the time can get tiring and he needs a break every once in a while 😏)

after a hard day kiss

y'all are married now and living in waterdeep, and gale is a professor. he comes home one night after a particularly hard lesson, drops his satchel on the ground and sulks into the living room where you are sitting. you notice his frustrated and sad look. you get up and rub his shoulders and he relaxes instantly under your touch and just melts into your arms. you have him talk about his day to get it out , and give him lots of soft kisses. once he's done explaining his day, you have the dinner you prepared for y'all, and you run him a lavender bath with rose petals and pamper him all night bc he deserves it!! (men (Gale) deserve romance too!!)

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i hope you enjoyed it as much as i loved writing it!! tysm again anon for this beautiful request to write about our beloved wizard💜 if anyone would like a blurb, one shot, imagine, check out my pinned post to see who i write for!! (only bg3 at the moment!) and thank you for reading 🫶🏻💜

[jeon-ify]

that night- j. yunho- pt. 4 (teaser)

a/n: hello! what are our thoughts so far? this is a part 4 teaser cus im on writers block so enjoy this

warnings: sad!yunho, supportive!mingi, making out?, yeosang, wooyoung and seonghwa make an appearance !! that’s it. lmk if i missed anything

genre: drama, romance

enjoy!

—————————————————————————————

yunho can’t remember the last time he had fun. he also can’t remember the last time he smiled.

there yunho was, putting on the black shoes you got him 7 years ago for his birthday, finally putting them to use. he slid on the dust brushed shoes, alongside a black button-up that hugged his figure so beautifully, almost making the buttons seem as though they’ll burst.

he buttoned his slacks, sprayed his tobacco vanille cologne and headed out the front door of his home.

he felt like he needed a drink before he’d be social again— not making any friends or conversations other than his best friend mingi.

he pulled out of his driveway and into the parking lot of the night club down the street front your home. he passed by your home many times, tempted to come home to you and lay with you.

his phone rings, reading ‘mingi’ on the caller ID.

“yo, where are you? are you not coming?” he yells. the music masked by laughter and heavy chatter filling yunhos speaker.

“i don’t know man, that isn’t my scene.” yunho hesitates. he’s parked outside of your apartment, watching how your lights occasionally turn off and on throughout the night. he sees your door close as you leave. he ducks his head and whispers to mingi, in hopes that you won’t see him.

“man you have 10 minutes. get your ass over here.” the phone call comes to an end, yunho’s eyes filled with tears. he doesn’t want to leave where he most belongs. he finds a home within you, but you really don’t know where you stand, whether it be with yunho or yourself.

driving away, yunho gives into going to the party mingi wants him so bad to come to. maybe it’ll get his mind off you.

he arrives after 8 minutes exactly, tears dry around the corners of his almond eyes. he walks into the party, greeted by 3 of his high school friends at once. the first one has sharp eyes, a muscular build and very pale skin. the second one being the loudest of the bunch, and the third being honey-toned with a slim figure, who looks like Toothless.

“yunho— woah, are you high, bro? the fuck did you take?” wooyoung asks. after 6 years of not seeing his friend, that was the hello yunho was greeted with.

“ignore him. how have you been? how are things with you and y/n?” seonghwa pulls him in for a hug, as he questions with no idea as to what brought yunho to this party tonight— getting his mind off of what he did to you.

yunho scoffs, holding in everything he wants to say, but deciding he’d rather sweep it under the rug. though he wants to so badly talk about it, he doesn’t want to hear any more of the ‘oh you fucked up’ or ‘you’re insane’ or ‘why would you do that’.

yeosang just watches, waiting for his turn to greet his friend. as he continues to greet him, yunho spots mingi in a crowd, motioning for him to come over to the area mingi was standing in— crowded with people none of them knew. yunho took this as a chance to finally let himself go for just tonight.

“you’re here! guys, this is my best brother, yunho. yunho went through a traumatizing breakup a while ago and is trying to get his mind off things.” he spills his friend’s story to strangers, though it makes yunho feel at ease, knowing that mingi was there for him.

“mingi… who is that?” yunho has to triple check to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him. he sees a woman with the prettiest hair, the keychain hanging from the black purse he vividly remembers at your apartment. he also sees black heels that belonged to you years ago.

what are you doing here?

[cherrysoojins]

८ bewitched , ateez laufey songs .

✉️. three of eight, kim hongjoong. falling behind.

romance was a huge aspect of life that you felt as though you were missing out on. but after meeting kim hongjoong, you felt like you were no long falling behind on it.

&ㅤㅤ 📦 ♡ warnings. sfw, fluff, small mention of jongho if you read his story you will understand, suited for all ages, not proofread ( might have spelling errors ), let me know if any other warnings that should be added ! 1263 wc.

reblogs appreciated because im shadow banned 😭

taglist. @luvvvlyjoong , @cherrystar1117

you haven’t experienced love yet.

you don’t think you’ve even experienced liking someone properly and working to establish a relationship with them.

in reality, you started to think you’re not cut out for relationships. more so, that you just weren’t destined for a relationship, to experience love. and at some point, you were okay with that. being more focused on yourself proved to get you far, graduated high school as the top student and you’re now about to graduate from college and open your own business. a small little clothing line and thrift store, it was accomplished with ease because you didn’t let complicated things get in your way. (like relationships)

but it’s not like you closed yourself off to people, no. you had a lot of friends. you only closed yourself off from relationships to once again, focus on yourself.

but now that you’re graduating and life is continuing to move forward, you realize as you walk around campus, go grocery shopping, sit at a cafe, or even take a walk down the busy streets of seoul, couples were everywhere.

and then you look to your empty side where nobody has the liberty to walk next to you, the loneliness of your hand not wrapped around someone else's… it sort of felt like you were missing out on an important life experience.

it made you feel like even though you were miles ahead of everyone, this one hurdle was making you fall behind.

you can hardly see your friends anymore because they’re all in happy and healthy relationships, too busy with work and their significant others, and you don’t blame them, but they used to be the only way you could fend off this lonely feeling. even your best friend choi jongho, who was once like you and was closed off to relationships, got into one recently. you and him used to bond over the fact you were single and felt like relationships were a waste of time, but now…

you don’t even blame him, the guy needed a girlfriend.

but man, you really feel like everyone is moving forward and you're stuck in the same spot, with the same mindset that was threatening to shatter, which held you back from moving forward even more because you feared what lied in the unknown, you were scared of what love meant.

yet, you think you might be figuring it out. what love means.

“i really think you should distress the sleeves,” hongjoong said from behind you, his chin resting on your shoulder as he reached his other hand to point at the black denim jacket you were working on for your little thrift store brand.

“but i distressed the bottom hem of it already, would it look weird?” you asked him, trying to calm your beating heart down from the close proximity between you two, his chest pressing against your back and his head so close to yours, you could smell the sweetness of the blue raspberry lollipop that matched the color of his hair that you gave him earlier.

hongjoong shook his head on your shoulder and moved back to pull his phone out, muttering a small “hold on” as he unlocked the device.

you turned back to look at him before looking back forward, grabbing onto the edge on the table in a strong grip. you mentally took deep breaths in and out.

these emotions… they were overflowing. you’ve never felt this way before about anyone. this feeling of your heart banging against your chest, the fluttery feeling in your stomach and the red hot feeling rushing to your cheeks whenever hongjoong talks to you… you couldn’t describe this feeling, but you like it.

hell, you enjoy it more than you probably should.

you did feel like you were falling behind in the relationship aspect of life, but you had no thoughts to actually pursue the idea, choosing to just go with the flow of how things have always been.

but kim hongjoong came in like a storm, truly. it was merely an accident how you two met. you’ve been in the same fashion design class for awhile now, and also had the same business classes together, but never interacted.

but one night when your thoughts about relationships and everything got too far into your head, you found yourself stumbling into the 24 hour studio open to your fashion class to continue working on your final assessment project, to which kim hongjoong was there.

first it was simply helping each other out, then it was talking about each others dreams and future aspirations, then it came to always sitting together at class, going to lunches together, painting the walls of your apartment together, to asking him to help you with your thrift shop and clothing line, it was supposed to be just business and a new friendship at first… now, it’s gotten to the point of no return. for you, at least.

now it was doing all those things with the addition of butterflies in your stomach and constant bathroom breaks to calm the red flush on your cheeks whenever he says something that is a compliment towards you or just sounds any sort of sweet.

“see, it wouldn’t look bad if we did it this way.” hongjoong cut you off from your thoughts, putting his phone in your face to make you look at a reference photo he pulled up from pinterest.

you grabbed the phone from his hands, the sparks that you felt when your fingers lightly brushed his was enough to sprinkle pink along your cheeks and a giddy feeling to flow through your stomach.

“oh, you’re right.” you said, immediately going back to your professional act and putting the phone down on the table to look at it as you grabbed the sleeves of the denim jacket. “if we do it on the wrists, it’ll look fine.”

“right?” hongjoong said, coming up to your side and using a finger to pull his lockscreen down on his phone to check the time quickly. you two have been working on clothes since 12pm, and it was now bordering 8 at night. you acknowledged the time and the fact his wallpaper was a picture of you sleeping comfortably in your bed holding the stuffed animal he gifted you.

you felt like throwing up from all the emotions running through you, they all were so overbearing and intense, but they felt so good.

“it’s getting late.” you noted.

“sure is. wanna go on a date for dinner?”

“yeah–” you paused, slowly turning your head towards him with a squinted stare. “date?”

hongjoong laughed to himself, his eyes still on his phone as his bubblegum blue hair covered his eyes.

“a date, yeah.” he told you, turning his head to look at you sincerely.

the idea of love was originally something that was an obstacle in your mind, something that would prevent you from getting far in life because it was a distraction. you simply felt like you were solely cut out for being by yourself, focusing on yourself.

then love became something you were secretly envious of deep down. when everyone around you started to experience it, you felt like suddenly you didn’t have everything figured out in life, like you were missing something, that you were falling behind.

but kim hongjoong changed that. suddenly you were moving again, jumping the obstacle you so desperately wanted to avoid, to walk around. you were no longer feeling left behind, now you felt like you were complete.

“yeah.” you replied. “let’s do that.”

full bewitched series masterlist !

send an ask or a pm to be added to the bewitched masterlist !

[zara-renata]

I LOVEDDDDDDD the latest addition to your sylus universe. i’m growing to adore the reader. i love her personality and her wit and i think the way you interpret her backstory as it relates to her emotional state and the language u use to write her internal monologue is so so good. it’s so engaging to read but also really funny and gives us so many good insights into her feelings. i really do feel so bad for her and the way she’s struggling and i’m able to empathize so much with her bc of the way u write her. it makes her immensely easy to understand and care for her. i saw the warning u gave for the wine chapter and it still HURTTTT when the misunderstanding happened. i could literally feel the way reader was shrinking back into herself and sylus’s mind was whirring with how to address the situation. i wanted to hug her so bad like girl please that’s not what he meant. she spends so much time convincing herself that sylus is just some guy who shows up with petty injuries but i caught how after sylus pulled her closer, she wondered if he was imagining someone else. like she does care so immensely and she’s so guarded it makes me crazy. and then these two idiots make me laugh because instead of talking about their feelings, he’s telling her to change and he’s not listening. i love them, they make me so crazy. and i adore how u pepper in all these moments where we get a peek into zayne or xavier’s mind and how much they worry about the reader.

also i think im getting my chapters/fics mixed up bc im not sure this was in the wine chapter but i really liked the rollercoaster metaphor. it’s so silly and funny and the long explanation of the dangers and pros of a rollercoaster gave us great insight into how reader’s mind worked. i think this was in the piece where she was especially suffering from insomnia. but it was a great way to show in the literal language of the fic how she’s running on fumes and how exhausting her overthinking is. and then!! it’s such a beautiful contrast to the way you write sylus’s dialogue with this delightful push and pull that frustrates but also engages the reader and gets her to think about something else. i adore the displays of tenderness and desire he gives her like the hand on her leg or sharing the wine glass. it’s such a perfect interpretation of the kind of intimacy he would give especially in this part of the relationship where they won’t even openly talk about their feelings. i love how he cares for her and tries to distract her but still puts himself out there as a steady comforting figure who is there for her. it’s so so so perfect and im rambling but i love your writing and your depiction of sylus’s character and i can’t wait to see how this unfolds in future updates (i saw the tag about sylus’s pov and i can’t wait for it to wreck me ahhhh!!!)

thank you so much for this ask, when i saw the wall of text i'm pretty sure my eyes bugged out of my head and it was so fun to read through all of your thoughts!!

i kind of just want to keyboard smash in response, because you're pointing out all of the things that have been so fun and like, cathartic to write, and i'm putting all my love for sylus into writing him in a way that i hope is both true to his canon character and also like, comforting to the reader. i was really worried about how people would receive an mc who has such a distinct personality, and one that is a type that i know grates on a lot of people (reading any reviews of romance novels where mc isn't a super confident completely likeable character can be brutal), so it's so reassuring to hear that you like the way i portray this mc and can sympathize with what they are going through.

and i'm utterly feral for how sylus casually creates intimacy and shows his affection so thoroughly while only rarely speaking directly about how much he cares for mc, i love him SO MUCH, so i'm glad you are experiencing that through how i'm trying to write him!!!

lastly, the perspectives of zayne and xavier, i love them both very much as well, and feel like i have enough of a grasp of their characters to be able to adequately reflect what they might think in response to watching mc be a hot mess.

i'm honestly just, bouncing off the walls from all of your kind thoughts regarding this series, thank you so much again for reading and then sharing them with me.

[lazyalani]

Hello, I hope you're well! I hope I'm not bothering you, but if I understood correctly then you currently have requests open for Black Butler?

If I'm wrong, please feel free to delete this ask. I appreciate you taking the time to read it regardless!

If I'm not, then may I please request for Black Butler? I have all kinds of ideas myself about a situation where Ciel brings in another member of staff to help Mey-Rin out with cleaning since she can be clumsy quite often. That being said, the person (Mc, reader, whoever you wish to refer to them as) isn't strong or spiritual or really that special of a person. Borderline Mary Sue with how normal their life seems, but maybe they could have something more to them than just being a normal human. How would some of the characters react to/interact with them? (Preferably romantic headcanons if that's okay, if not then feel free to change it however you wish!) My favorite characters at the manor are Snake and Sebastian, but if you want to add someone different feel free! If you only take one character per request, then can it please be Sebastian?

No pressure, no rush, you don't have to accept this. Thank you for reading my request anyway! I hope you have a lovely rest of your day, please take care of yourself and stay safe! 😊

| Black Butler [Phantomhive Estate]

| When Ciel brings in an assassin as a servant

| i was a little bit confused to what you meant as 'more than a normal human' but i assumed they aren't supernatural but not a normal civilian either, i hope this is okay, gosh im so nervous about this, but i love this request, i got this when i was in rites rehearsal in school lol, only a few dialogues, oc is gender neutral, i wasnt sure if i should put reader or oc but ig oc would fit more i hope its okay, this could also be read as reader cuz its gn anyway, i wanted to write this is fic form but i figured it would be too long, im sorry i couldn't do snake because im not really that familiar with him, this is my frist time taking up this kind of request, mixing up an assassin and romance is a bit confusing so sorry if i dont live up to your expectations, mc is referred to as 'they/them'

Ft. Ciel, Sebastian, Mey-Rin

| Kuroshitsuji Masterlist

| Main Masterlist

Extra Note: I was a lot more motivated to write this cuz you're so sweet :') lots of thanks and hugs for you

CIEL [Platonic]

Ciel encountered them during a mission as the guard dog. An assassin sent to kill him, who ofcourse, failed due to his demonic butler. After suffering an utter defeat on Sebastian's hands, Ciel had a risky idea of bringing them back with him to add to his army servants. He has seen great potential. Although Sebastian had not been fully pleased as it was risky because they were literally sent to kill them, he had respected his master's wishes but kept an eye on them. Waking up to an unknown bedroom and then suddenly being offered a chance to work for someone you were assigned to kill before was definitely surprising for them, but after observing how the 'job' works, they reluctantly accepted.

They weren't good at doing the housework, but they weren't bad either for someone who had just started to work. Still confused, they kept observing Ciel, wondering why they were even offered the job despite almost assassinating him.

"Young Master, may I ask a question?" They asked during dinner time, dusting shelves near the dining table.

"Because you're useful."

"Pardon me?"

"The answer to your question. You were going to ask why I had offered this to you, were you not?" He calmly sipped his tea, then lowering the cup to let Sebastian fill it. "Failed, but not helpless. Surely you understand why I have 'servants' like you, don't you? You'd prove to be a good ally against those pests."

".... Thank you, young master."

"You have yet to prove your full loyalty, show me your devotion, servant."

"Gladly, Earl Phantomhive."

And so they brought back the heads of their former client and their agency employer. With a few days of Sebastian still keeping an eye on them, they had slowly but surely earned the whole manor's trust.

They had soon gotten used to how their job works. Although still a bit clumsy, they had done their best to serve the Earl, gaining fondness for the child. Despite what others think, it was quite easy to have affections for the young master, whether it's out of sympathy or slowly just getting to know him. They understand what draws the other servants to their master. The Earl was cunning and ruthless, but he was still infact a child and in need of support. So they had grown to get used to taking care of him by doing simple actions and words, serving him with gentleness and fondness.

"Young Master, is the blood yours?"

"Young Master, please let me tend to your bruises."

"Young Master, it is time to eat."

"Young Master, what should I tell Sebastian to prepare?"

"Young Master, Bard has made something explode again, please civer your nose from the smoke."

"Young Master, I heard this tea is good for soothing headaches."

"Young Master, I believe it is time to rest."

As an assassin, they understand what it's like to kill. To have a shitty and frustrating background. To have to kill to survive and get what you want. To have to be cautious everytime. To not affording to let your guard down knowing the dangers of your world.

And so they are cautious and wary of anyone getting close to him. A visitor or anyone that's not originally a part of his life before. They always keep them, hence why they requested to have a slight change on their uniform to hide it.

They had heard his story from the other servants and came to an understanding of what Ciel really wants to do, to achieve. Revenge, and if it means protecting the boy and letting him live as much as he can, they will help him towards that goal.

It's only when they are in a mission and they are involved that Ciel is reminded that they are a professional assassin still.

It does make him more confident that while Sebastian is out fighting the main enemy or hunting someone, they can protect him, not letting any other enemy near him and killing them all before they can even take a step forward. It gives him chills, the same ones he feels when Sebastian shows his true abilities. It terrifies him that a human could kill so easily like a demon, and relieves him that he took them in.

Eventually, Ciel has gotten used to their subtle (not really) smothering and protectiveness. He was bothered at first, but he just let it be until he does get used to it, it's a great balance to Sebastian's sarcastic and teasing nature at times. And althought he would never admit it, he does look forward to getting pampered after a long day or mission and not get teased for it (Sebby srlsy).

SEBASTIAN [Romantic]

When he doesn't trust them yet, he sees them as a potential formidable enemy. They may not have defeated him, but they still put up quite the fight for a few minutes. Although defeated, not completely. They might not be a danger for him but they are great danger to his master, being inside the estate and meddling with other servants. He does find them a bit interesting. Normal people may not see it, the assassin's face is neutral, but their eyes are readable, atleast to him. It interests him how their eyes keep on changing emotions, curiosity, observant, interested, empathetic, understanding, sympathetic, pleased, distressed, frustrated, disagreeing, surprised. It interests him how much a human could keep on changing through so many emotions in a short time, and manage to keep it hidden under a neutral mask. And it interests him how they could keep such a calm manner while suspecting something about him.

Sebastian could see it in their eyes whenever they see or interact with him. Cautious, observing, curious. He knows they suspect he isn't human. Ofcourse, what human could do those things he did during their fight. But still, they had kept quiet about it and never asked questions, atleast not verbally. Sebastian could see so many questions hidden in their eyes, and it amuses him to see how they try to keep those questions in. It amuses him how they could really reign their own thoughts and questions despite seeing and interacting with him everyday.

When they had gained his trust, he lets his guard down just a little bit more. He admits, he finds it comforting to finally have someone competent enough in the household to help him. It's not that he really needs help, it's just that he finds it quite a bother and annoying to do every chore while doing his tasks as the Guard Dog's 'assistant' or something.

It's not really a secret that Sebastian finds it easier to be around them than the others. The way his stiffness is nowhere to be found around them, and his voice seems to be less strict. He knows and he doesn't really care when even the Earl points it out. He claims it should serve as a motivation for the others to start working harder if they don't want him to always nag them. Ofcourse he and Ciel knows there's more to it but they don't care (though Ciel definitely would save his thoughts about it for future purposes).

After a while, their curiousty does fade into just being neutral and not giving a shit about who he is or what he is. Despite having suspicions, they let it be because knowing he keeps their master safe is enough. Although they are a bit wary to how he is connected to the young master, they decide to push it down.

Sebastian and them act like normal co-workers as time passes.

"Goodmorning, Sebastian."

"Goodmorning. Has the utensil shelf been polished upstairs?"

"I did that yesterday, shall I do it again?"

"No need. Have the pests been taken care of? There were quite a few crawling around yesterday night."

"They have, I laid them in the 'garden' and let the others clean up. I will check on it again later to make sure the job is done perfectly."

"Good job. Make sure everything is fine while the young master and I take care if everything outside for later."

"Yes. Is the young master still asleep? He didn't overwork himself again, didn't he?"

"It seems that he quite did, seeing as he is still asleep right now and not calling for me. I shall get him ready for the day, I'll leave you to do the rest."

"Yes."

Sebastian does prefer interacting with them than anybody else. Okay, maybe not normal co-workers, but the most normal talk murderers pretending to be servants could do. He prefers talking to them more than any servant because they understand how he talks about the things that aren't meant to be said around anyone else. They have the intelligence Sebastian wants a subordinate to have and he's quite greatful for it. It pleases him that he can now take a little bit more time outside the manor without worrying about it burning down or the young master's safety.

Afterall, their new servant is very skilled in doing their job.

But the main reason it that because he could show sides of himself that aren't meant to be seen even by the other servants. While he may not show his true nature, he does show a little bit of non-human capabilities. Not needing to worry about it makes things easier for him, also because they can cover for him at tines. Their neutral and usual they don't care nature puts him at ease. And them being an assassin definitely adds more ease. Knowing how to kill, and anything that involves it makes it easier for him to slip out and ask a bit help.

It reaches to the point where interacting with them puts him at ease after a long day or after an annoying event. Sebastian is definitely more comfortable around them than anyone else.

He does know what it means. He knows what the little tingle feeling he feels when he hears their voice. He knows what the ease on his back means when he sees them. And he doesn't mind at all. It feels good so why would he deny it? Although it could propose a few problems in the future, but he'll worry about it when it gets there.

When he realizes it, he gets a little more softer on them.

"Job well done as usual."

"After dusting that, you may take a rest."

"Have you eaten? The food I made a while ago is still fresh."

"Ah, do be careful dealing with those pests, they might be quite a handful."

"I imagine you might be tired from dealing with those cockroaches, the tea is still hot, it is good for body pains."

And yes, other people do notice. And yes, Ciel does know, and he doesn't give a shit as long as it doesn't interfere with their missions and tasks. Plus, it gives him opportunities to tease his butler back.

It also adds that whatever is going on will not have to interfere with his tasks to his master because he knows full well that they can protect theirself, the household, and the young master. They are a professional assassin and does not need protection and direct orders and intructions to kill and hunt.

In any case, Sebastian and them would deal with their growing affections slowly and quietly, letting it grow further while letting the each other savor it.

As times passes by, Sebastian does get a little bit more bold with his words and actions. He grows quite more confident when they reciprocate his advances.

All in all, Sebastian was drawn to them because he can show a little more if his true self around them. Because despite disgusing as a servant, they don't exactly differ from when they act as an assassin or a servant. They don't lose their personality and turn into a normal person when changing roles. They are competent in any role they take and know what needs to be done, how to talk about house chores and how to talk about other things, when to meddle, what to do, what needs to be left unasked, how to deal with their emotions efficiently, and does not get distracted by the slights of things.

MEY-RIN [Platonic]

Mey-rin sees them as an older sibling.

Sure they might be monotone and apathetic at most times, but their caring nature makes her think otherwise.

"Mey-rin, be careful, you might fall down."

"Please don't move too much, you might get injured."

"Ah, use this instead of that, this is more effective."

"Oh, don't do that, it will make blood flow out more."

They definitely scare her when they are at the battlefield. Those emotionless eyes and monotone voice are more terryfing than everything when they hold their katana and slash through the enemies. The thought of them being their ally when they keep enemies from coming at her makes her calm.

Merciless, definitely. But she sees them a bit different inside the manor. Those scary eyes are replaced by a neutral face. They rarely smile but she can see their caring actions towards everyone, especially towards their young master.

She was definitely more than happy to know that they can live up to Sebastian's standards in doing house chores because they definitely need help. Although she is ashamed and embarassed to be outdone and to ask for help from a new servant, she can't help but do it and admire them. She can't help but ask them to teach her, and she was happy to know that they agreed.

"I see, instead of doing that, I think you should do it sideways so the duster can cover everything."

"Try cleaning in a more staright posture so you don't fall down."

"How about starting at the top so you don't fall down bending when you start at the bottom of the stairs?"

"I am glad to be of help."

She does look up to them so much. She is very glad that they are as competent in the house chores as they are in the battlefield.

When she observes then, she can quite see the similarities of when they are outside. They still have that stealth when they are walking, that swiftness and speed when doing chores, the effiency when doing tasks, and the quality when doing everything.

It honestly terrifies her how they can just kill so easily without any trace of emotion and pretend to be a normal servant as though nothing happens at night.

Despite obviously having a crush on their resident visual butler, he also does intimidate her in a way the new servant does.

The new servant does make her a little bit more scared, but it brushes of everytime she sees and hears them taking care of everyone. It makes her happy that under that apathetic face they wear, they truly care for all of them. And it makes her relieved that they aren't an enemy.

Ofcourse, she was wary of her before, all of them were. But they did see their improvement. From doing chores improvement to socializing improvement.

When they kind of 'nag' her to be careful on standing in chairs to dust the shelves and clean the stairs, she feels warm. It feels like having an older sibling nag at you to take care of yourself.

They also have the room next to Mey-rin, and when she has her nightmares about her past, they come comforting her. Despite the usual monotone of their voice, she can feel their concern. They may not be much of a talker, their comfort is quiet, but it's enough for her that they listen to her thoughts and worries and understand her.

They also remind her to change her glasses when it's near breaking. Or when she falls and breaks her glasses, they always offer to buy a new one and let her rest and tend to her small bruises.

All in all, she's glad to have someone who can be there for when she's sniper Mey-rin, maid Mey-rin, and sad Mey-rin.

[peachjagiya]

https://www.tumblr.com/peachjagiya/751789107975520256/im-kinda-sick-of-waiting-around-to-find-out-if?source=share

Anon i feel the exact same way as you. I dont have a solution but i find it works best for me when i think of taekook as a fictional couple that i enjoy and love and that no one will ever be able to take away from me (i read and write fanfiction for one) and then the members as they are i take them as they are and what is presented to me. This excludes their private lives pretty heavily. In real life, though i want nothing more than for them to be ”real”, what i love about them is their bond. I dont go crazy with all the ”theories” that to me all seem like shippers choosing what they believe based on what aligns with their ship. And thats fine! But i cant delude myself like that. So what works best for me is: we will never know with absolute certainty what goes on behind the scenes. And thats how it should be. These are not our lives, its people who are actually strangers to us private lives. When taennie and paris happened, i obsessed over it, followed it compulsively. And eventually i was like. What the fuck am i doing? None of this, NONE OF THIS, has ANY impact on my life. I have nothing to do with it, and no agency in it because its got nothing to do with me. I cant control anything about it. Yes, I want taekook to be real, but at the end of the day, what does that matter to me? If i just want the relationship i can just daydream about it, them being real or not isnt actually going to make me any more part of it anyway (lol). Now i know that not just quitting them and instead staying with them could still be perpetating my problem but i hope i can continue to respect their private lifes. And i realize sending this to a theorizing shipping blog is kind of ironic, i do think theorizing is sort of inherently invasive (and rps in general so like myself included) but utlimately harmless as long as you stay respectful, they are public figures after all (please okay i mean no disrespect to you peachjagiya) So yeah, when that video with jk and the girl came out i was basically over it. My stance is that has nothing to do with me (and if its real i should not be able to see it and thats stalking and a gross invasion of privacy (same with the leaked taennie pics (although they are edited as hell))) so i do not have an opinion. I still love taekook. Are they real? A part of me is always going to believe that. But no, not that we know, and we can never know. But in any case, theyre real to me❤️ Hope this helps, if not then at least know youre not alone feeling this way (unless you dont wanna align yourself with my crazy lol), and i think some sort of distancing is healthy, not in a ”i dont care about them anymore” (like they mean so much to me, how could i ever do that), just another way of thinking about them. Yes its frustrating not to know but only if that knowledge matters to you. And maybe in the ways that matter (am i speaking in tongues rn) you’ll find it actually doesnt? All the love to anon and this blog 🦋💜

Some words for fed up anon and some ways of thinking about it. 💜

Just adding this second clarifying ask from anon:

No offence taken. I actually think a lot of what we talk about here isn't necessarily romantic. It's often in defence of their closeness in general because a lot of people seem to believe it simply doesn't exist. And in the course of denying their closeness, or minimising their importance to one another, there's a lot of anti-Tae sentiment, a lot of painting JK as something he's not, a lot of bending of ideas to fit weird narratives. That irritates me as a Tae/JK bias so I sometimes feel like I'm just battling that.

That's not to say we don't suggest romance. We definitely do. 😌 But you're right. You gotta protect yourself from potential upset or the weariness of never finding out by accepting that you're never operating at 100% certainty.

I don't think there's prizes for loyalty at the end. If they are a couple, there's no bragging rights if you never had a moment of doubt. JK and Tae aren't personally going to come to your house to congratulate you for never wavering. They are real people, not points to be had.

Sometimes we theorise and make jokes but hopefully it's a respectful vibe? I also hope people would let me know if the vibe got disrespectful.

Just because I'm worried how some people get:

Do I think they're a couple? Yes.

Will I continue to view them through that lens? Yes.

Am I putting my life savings and personal happiness on it? Absolutely definitely no.

Thanks anon 💜

Edit to add:

Taekook will stay cute! 🥰😘 😍