#i thought they were anthropomorphizing numbers lol

[prime-factorizer]

23 is prime!

17 is prime!

14 is 2×7

[isthedogawolfdog]

youtu(dot)be(slash)g-7cLXyMp8E?si=OQ_6WDtl_dnMj9DP

Thoughts on this video on the reintroduction of wolves to Yellowstone and also the article that it cures which claims the Yellowstone narrative is factually inaccurate?

BAHAHAHA I am fucking CACKLING.

Okay so this video:

was posted in late 2020 and BOY HOWDY is it a wild ride. Because I need a distraction and am feeling particularly petty right now I'll see if I can break down the video and it's... um... "facts".

Before I start though the dudes YouTube is chock full of extreme vegan takes so I wouldn't say he's the top tier candidate for good sources lol.

"Introduction"

The beginning is meh. Y'know the usual thing some Youtubers do with the whole "is this really true???" thing with unreasonable amount of suspicion? yeah. He pretty much makes comments on how maybe the reintroduction of wolves into YNP wasn't the "incredible success story that it was made out to be." Which I feel like the, y'know, the many hundreds of research papers on the wolf reintroduction into YNP and the massive benefits it's created kinda contradicts? but I mean what do I know.

"Yellowstone narrative is misleading"

So this part opens up with this video (which I don't feel like watching rn if I were being honest so I'll save that for later) that blew up a bit ago regarding how wolves change rivers, and the claim that it was misleading, untrue, etc. The youtuber (who we shall call Hancock because "Youtuber" will get boring) uses this source to stake the claim that the positive impact wolves have had on rivers in YNP isn't true.

As we would know if we actually did research and didn't talk out of our ass, wolves didn't directly affect the rivers just by hunting elk, but beavers as well. Aspen and willow are, surprise surprise! a favorite food of beavers. Prior to wolf reintroduction riverbeds and waterways in YNP were in terrible shape, mainly due to erosion and lack of support from water loving plants, which are... tada! willow and aspen! Beavers and elk chowed down on these plants in huge amounts due to their numbers being so vastly out of control due to lack of predators. So when wolves came around and started hunting the plentiful beavers and elk, the willow and aspen were basically like "oh shit! we aren't being eaten to the point where we're all dying!! lets grow more!!" and in turn the more willow and aspen = more footing for the soil along waterbeds which means the rivers were saved. Some of this was mentioned in the article that was linked but wasn't mentioned by Hancock so idk what's up with that.

To sum it up, wolves made an impact! And it's silly to just write that off completely!! I think my issue with this part is that Hancock completely writes wolves impact on the environment off, which is frankly ridiculous. The original video may have overstated it a bit, but it's not like it doesn't exist.

"The balance of ecosystems"

Hancock then talks about the complexity of the YNP food chain (kinda), and how some people feel the need to restore the balance in nature if we humans fuck it up which?? like yeah?? we should?? He goes into a schpeel about values or whatever and if we value certain ecosystems over others??? Idk I was NOT tracking.

He mentions his thoughts on "which balance is best for the animals that live there". Goes on slight anthropomorphizing tangent then dives into the next part...:

"Ecology of fear"

Ah, lads, we are back in biology class aren't we. Except this time we are anthropomorphizing the hell out of everything! "The deer are afraid of being eaten alive, so afraid that they sometimes choose to eat less..."

Okay, did anyone tell this guy that the amount of food the herbivores (ungulates namely) before wolves were reintroduced was literally killing everything? Without wolves to balance the prey populations out they overgrazed, populations skyrocketed and so did disease.

The rest of this is a tangent, so I'll skip over it.

"Wolves suffered too"

Hancock cites the outbreaks of canine distemper disease that have occurred in YNP since reintroduction. This is a bit of a mute point, since canine distemper can fuck any canine population up whether it's a brand new reintroduced group of wolves or they've been there for decades.

Also, can we note how he talks about canine distemper then shows a wolf with mange?? hmmmm.

"Numbers of animals vs welfare"

Dude talks about random bullshit regarding animal rights. Loooooots of emotional heartstrings attempting to be pulled. He is 10000% coming from one of those anti-predator perspectives. Biiiig yikes.

"It's too complex (human health analogy)"

This section was basically mansplaining but with vegans lol.

"The choice we have"

He brings in wild animal contraception?????? I???? Girl what. I mean it's a thing yeah but I did not expect that to be where he was going.

Hancock talks about "one of the cruelest, and unfortunately most romanticized and thus most prevalent methods of population control" AKA reintroducing predators. Hmmmm it's almost like he didn't read about the mass amount of ungulates and other prey animals dying off in YNP when winter came (prior to reintroduction) and there wasn't enough food to sustain them all, subjecting them to excruciating deaths and long drawn out starvation and disease.

Hancock then goes onto how animals eat each other alive, which like, yeah, they do. AND THEN he talks about "wild animal suffrage" which, frankly I refuse to google. Blah blah blah he's anti-hunting who would've thought.

"we didn't do it for the animals"

Okay this actually has some value to it. Hancock talks about how wolves weren't reintroduced for their benefit, or anyone else, but only for people and tourism. This is both right and wrong.

I'm sure that all the biologists and hard working members on the reintroduction team would disagree that it wasn't done for the animals, but who knows. Anyway, the point that tourism would rake in a lot of cash for the state was also something that helped wolves get reintroduced, since we know many government officials weren't in it for the animals. So yeah, sort of true, but not really.

Hancock goes on about what animals are concerned about, even adding a little wolf with a thought bubble (which tbh, I'm sure if wolves knew about the technicalities of biodiversity they would love it, since it usually means a better quality of life). More anthropomorphizing and entitled vegan guilt tripping.

At this point I stopped watching, since it's already been roughly an hour, and although I could do this all day, I have to work later.

To answer your question anon, this video is very poorly put together and I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole. There is little to no research done prior to creating it, and the creator talks from a animal rights activist point of view, which is never helpful.

[vegantinatalist]

May i ask why youre anti furry/therian? Im not either of those things, just curious lol

Glad you asked, i have a lot to say about it, skip to the end for a tldr Viewing animals as concepts and visuals that you can make a persona out of contributes to the perception of animals (and others in general) being commodities. It derealizes animals and anthropomorphizes them, it is not a way to respect or portray animals, its the opposite.

I dislike therians for the same reasons and also because its a delusion like any other, and no different from religion, gender ideology, or trans race believers. Its furry taken even further into full blown delusion. They both also often buy leather and real fur and shit for their stupid costumes, especially if they go to ren fairs. i hate that theres more art of anthropomorphized endangered species than there are members of those endangered species. i hate that cows are sexually exploited while people are making "strawberry milk cowsonas uwu" with giant boobs and straw hats and shirts that say "milk!" Need i even mention all the zoophilia coded art. Ive worked as a freelance artist for over a decade, the massive number of furries that request zoophilia porn (art of getting penetrated by or raping animals), sometimes of their real pets which they would send me (normal) images of, made me no longer care that supposedly most furries "only like sfw furry art" (i call absolute bullshit and even if true idc) or "only like anthro furry porn" (thats still zoophilia in my eyes, no im not sorry, it literally is, especially if you cant get off without the animal imagery or you prefer it over human imagery). everytime someone requested a "sfw full body nude ref" they never gave their character human genitals. Always animal genitals. like bruh you literally want animal penis/vagina, you just (supposedly) wouldnt touch a real animal on principle. Buuuut youll also totally kill and eat animals daily, and youre fine with sticking instruments up their cervixes to force impregnate them and shocking their anuses to collect their semen? and you really think everyone is just like "yeah rape for profit is a-okay but raping them for pleasure is unthinkable"? you really think no people ever are like "yeah raping them for pleasure is fine too"? as an animal rescuer let me tell you- youre dead fucking wrong. animal prostitution and bestiality is a real issue, an estimate 2 percent of the population (and thats just whats reported, we all know animals cannot communicate their abuse) are offenders. from cases i myself have seen personally, the offenders were young men, autistic, and guess what else...ding ding ding. again this is of course not the majority of furries but my point is that i dont trust anybodies morals when it comes to the perception and treatment of others, especially those weaker and unable to speak. i have known a shocking amount of "normal" men who admitted to attempting or successfully raping an animal as a teen.

The sfw art often is extremely self indulgent and very objectifying of animals, drawing them like toys and little fairies that exist solely to bring them joy. i just never liked that kind of thing. i dont like that so many companies even get away with turning that shit into full on dopamine farm gambling addictions for kids. think like, webkins.

My parents used to give me animals like they were toys when i was young. They did not care what happened to them. All the media i was surrounded with as a kid reinforced this idea that animals are toys, toys that exist for self indulgent dopamine farming, even if i never would have said that, even if i would have gotten mad at anyone who outright said it. even if i thought this media made me an animal lover. it did not. and as a result, i saw many animals terribly die. yes, huge blame on my parents of course, but we dont live in a world that respects or cares about animals as it is and this type of content just doesnt help like people think it does. it doesnt teach you respect for animals. it teaches you to love animals the way you love candy. something you play with, and consume. its bad.

I want people to create sonas without using animal body parts as a way to convey tropes and archetypes that harmfully or just incorrectly skew peoples perception of real animals. i want to see animal characters that are neither anthro nor "feral" (toony animal body but anthro behaviors and thoughts) but are instead just written and portrayed like real animals and respected. i am not opposed to anime because while most of it is creepy, depicting toddler faced girls on childrens sexualized bodies, this disturbing objectification element isnt inherent to the style or subject matter and there are plenty of anime that depict people more normally. furry on the other hand is inherently objectifying and i wish drawing furry art was not so socially acceptable. its not like i think everyone should only draw animals exactly the way they look in reality, but you can stylize them in countless ways that arent anthropomorphizing.

i also hate fiction where theres a race of animal people and still a subclass of non anthro animals that are being exploited. it just furthers this idea that real animals dont matter, you can even pretend to be them while you kill and eat them if you want. i just really hate all of it. ive never seen any piece of furry media that doesnt disrespect animals and i think it inherently cannot be respectful to them.

mythical animal characters are a bit of a gray area. if they are depicted like real animals, just different (like a dragon that is clearly cat coded) that doesnt bother me really. the ones that are human coded with no animal parts based on real animals are usually fine too. its the grody and often sexualized blending of human and nonhuman animal that i dont like.

this is a very long and rambly rant but tldr:

-sexual furry art is zoophilia

-sfw furry art is still gratification based in objectification of others (and sfw art still can arouse people which is why its important to be mindful of subject matter no matter how youre drawing it)

-therians are the same + delusion (and i oppose all delusions)

-i want to see respectful art/stories that portrays nonhuman animals as the complicated individuals they are, not as a humans costume, sidekick/toy, or human allegory -im sick of artists having 0 accountability in general and im sick of their actually braindead apologist fans (looking at you made in abyss season 2 enjoyers) and i have 0 tolerance for iffy material anymore, we need to start opposing fictional content with more intensity, the world of art has become like 50 percent soft cp and soft zoophilia and i for one hate that

[deadinside8675]

Why the Zone is not canon: a long post

Official sources As much as we wouldn't like to admit that the thoughts of the community are not canon, they are not. I would define canon as "what is indicated or mentioned by Nintendo, in the game, or anywhere else." For example, Harvey x Harriet is most likely canon; CJ and Flick are 50/50, since for all our hopes, "partners" can still mean business partners; the idea is clear. Nintendo both did not give any reason in the game for the existence of this video and did not react to the clip in any way, which makes it not canon by definition. tldr: no

And what exactly could be "canon" there If we're talking about "Ankha and the speaker had sex": In Animal Crossing in general relationships of villagers between each other or someone else are not predetermined. The closest thing I can remember is Felicity liking Tortimer (e-reader card), Chevre and Nan (having a photo of each other) and the rabbit sisters (having a photo of each other). Residents on the island may have positive/negative interactions with each other and speaker, but they depend on their personality, version of the game and randomness. Nothing suggests that Ankha likes speaker more than other villagers do (especially in older games lol). If we're talking about "Ankha theoretically could have sex": this is closer to "how ethical is it to depict eroticism with anthropomorphic animals, especially from a game for kids", and answer to this question depends on the perception and depravity of the respondent. tldr: 1 - nope, 2 - depends on your viewpoint

"Okay, but there is a game community. Naan and Chevre, Flick and CJ are not officially together, but many people consider them to be so. What about Ankha?" "What people think in general" is also a very subjective question, because everyone has different circles of communication, but I'll still express an opinion about my own. This blog often mentions "people think Ankha is a whore," and I have no idea where this is coming from. I remember this was a thing in 2021, but 3 years have passed, and the situation has changed. It seems that the situation in the main part of the community has finally stabilized. Three years ago, opinions of "Anka is a slut" or "wow, this messed up my perception of the character" were common, but now it has turned into "yes, there was a popular meme with her". People still have bad associations with it, but much less often, and it's probably as good as it get, the meme is pretty forgotten by now. This whole situation seems to have made her a more likable character for a while, although judging by animalcrossingportal she has always been in the top of the most popular villagers Group chats with older players (under 30 years old) are generally very strict - to the point that some people actively condemn tt and mods (why are you worried about how other people play, it doesn't affect you in any way :/). It seems that they said "ugh, disgusting" back in 2021 and did not respond in any way. However, the increased popularity of the character has led to more players wanting to settle her on their island tldr: To be honest, it seems to me that people have mostly stopped taking this meme seriously or actively talking about it. Of course, not completely, but you can't just erase something from the memory, especially of a large number of people

I agree everything except this the meme still hasn’t ended and it still pisses me off and I don’t think it made her any more popular I think it almost destroyed what made everyone like her in the first place I don’t want everyone to forget the porn meme but I just want the meme to end it’s been three years yet anytime we search ankha almost anywhere it’s nothing but porn or porn memes it doesn’t help when sick people in TikTok and Twitter and especially YouTube gos around praising the joke like it’s the funniest thing in the world and all this happened just because one pork eater on Twitter or YouTube

[hiruzensux]

FELLOW ENMA-FUCKERS!!!!! I REQUIRE YOUR AID IN A MATTER MOST GRAVE:

where does and doesn't he have fur??

(nothing explicit, just putting it under a readmore bc long)

somehow, despite the Hiruzen x Enma porn drawings* that have been floating around half-formed inside my skull for years now, it is only NOW that i realize: i have no idea what Enma looks like underneath that iconic fit

so analyzing the images:

on his head we see both furred (hair + beard + sideburns -zones) and seemingly non-furred (middle part of face) areas

(tail is furry, obviously)

his hands + feet are mostly non-furred, but there is fur on at least the back of his wrists + ankles visible below the edge of his sleeves(/l...leg sleeves? is that what they're called?? sleeves, but for legs instead of arms)

regarding his neck, without going through the episodes he's in, the only shot i've been able to find with the right angle seems to be this MTG/YGO-style card of him:

(the origins of which i do not know. fanmade? official merch? is the image a still from the anime, or was it originally drawn for this card? and by whom? i haven't bothered to try to find out, will update if i do. but anyway)

it looks like there isn't any fur on his neck (except maybe down the back underneath where his long hair hangs down and obscures the area)

we also do not see any chest fur extending up past his neckline

...and beyond this, we know nothing.

i'm already exercising some creative license in how tall to make him (i've got a working number BUT i'm not saying yet in case i decide it's completely wrong whilst trying to actually draw him lol), since a) manga evidence is limited + anime evidence inconsistent, and b) i habitually will just directly contradict canon if i have an idea i'm attached to anyway... so i've got no issue on principle with just filling in the blanks according to my whim...

but i'm kind of just not getting any clear impression of what to picture re: fur pattern

considering looking at photos of actual monkeys to see if i that gives me any ideas... but in that case, what kind of monkey??

it's also complicated bc in a lot of shots he looks to me more anthropomorphic than the avg monkey? (but this is harder to tell w/ primates than w/ other creatures anyway...) (and not to mention the limited pool of Enma reference imgs AGAIN, but damn... a tiny handful of manga panels, and then his brief anime appearance was in the middle of the arc that brought us some of THE most iconic moments in wonky-lookin Naruto animation. if that fight in the anime was my sole reference for Hiruzen and Orochimaru, i wouldn't be very sure how anthropomorphic they were supposed to look either lmao)

anyway.

do YOU have opinions about Enma's fur distribution?

thoughts on which monkey species he's based on?

got a monkey fursona?

any and all insights welcome 💖

(*update: i actually drew one if you want to see the the hilarious fur-placement i went with (just warning for. yknow. porn lmao.))

[killingofaflashboy]

Crazy ass dream where it was like circa 1992/1993 and I received a Suede fanclub invitation for an event that was vague in explanation and apparently exclusive even among fanclub members. I show up to the event which wasn't held in a traditional venue and I immediately hear Brett's moans and aroused cries the closer I get to the room.

I go in and it's basically a very intimate space where only a small amount of people are watching Brett bound up and blindfolded as one person at a time makes love to him and fucks him as the other three band members say very encouraging praise (Mat, Simon) or demeaning remarks to him (Bernard). Keep in mind during this I look like my fursona (the anthropomorphic wolf lol) and somehow I'm not made into a huge spectacle and can just exist like this in public).

Anyways, my turn comes and Bernard harshly whispers into Brett's ear 'oh, now you're really going to get it! We got a werewolf to fuck your bony ass and you'll finally get that gay animal sex you've always been whining about in my beautiful songs!' which made me laugh a bit but also Brett moaned like I never thought was possible among hearing that, his cock jolting violently and dripping with pre like some porn comic.

Simon hands me some lube and laughs and tells me to not go easy on him and so I stroke the huge cock I have (which is like a humanoid cock but with a knot and in a sheath) and slide in Brett's ass, which makes him cry out in pleasure and arch his back. As I fuck him I'm pretty sure he cums at least twice before I finish. They're recording his cries and moans and Bernard tells me smugly they're going to release this as an exclusive recording for the members who were here, and upon hearing that I start fucking Brett harder and he's practically screaming and begging me to fill him up and breed him and call him my bitch. I cum and because of the whole knot thing I can't exactly pull out until it deflates so during that I'm just licking and nibbling at Brett's body as he pants and moans and catches his breath.

When I'm done it turns out that Brett wants to see me again so Mat hands me a small piece of paper with his phone number and address and tells me that so I pocket this and call Brett up the next day and he's basically like "*sniff* oh, the werewolf bloke! Yes please come on over when you want. Today is fine. Tomorrow too. I'm still recovering so don't mind me but we can definitely do some light stuff and maybe drink or do a bit of substance" and he said substance and God knows what he meant by that but then I woke up lmao.

[prehistoricalcats]

I'm really interested in your Cats universe! It seems like you have them living like humans but humans also exist? Can you describe your universe a bit more, if you'd like to? :)

I'd love to!

I must warn you though, this is a very in-depth universe, and even focusing on specific points and trying to simplify things as much as I could, I still managed to make to this about a mile long. Damn I wish Tumblr mobile let me do a read more cut

First of all, yes the Cats are anthropomorphic, and yes humans also exist in this universe. Anthro Dogs, Rats, and Mice all definitely also exist, and I'm considering a few other anthro races like Hyenas and maybe like Rabbits and some others, but haven't put too much thought to that yet.

Just for reference, if it's capitalized (Dog, Cat, etc) it's the anthro race, if it's lower case (dog, cat, etc) it's the fourlegger

Some Basic Terminology:

Non-human beings/non-human people - collective term for all anthro races

NHP - non-human person(s)

Furfolk - common English slang for non-human beings, not politically correct but still pretty widely used. There is also a version of this word for each specific race, Catfolk, Ratfolk, etc. (Note: Mice and Rats often are collectively refered to as Rodents or Rodentfolk)

Fourlegger - regular dogs, cats, etc. Used mostly by NHPs to differentiate between them and NHPs

Bald-bodies - humans. Used by NHPs, considered derogatory by most (nearly everyone uses it anyway)

Kit - kid, child, teenager (for Cats). Short for kitten

Tom - you know this one, an adult or teenage male Cat

Mot - an adult or teenage female Cat, an alternative word for "queen"

License Name - once called the "family name" back when it was still quite common for Cats to work for a human family in a residential household. Essentially this is the name that humans assign to Cats because Particular Names are often "too hard" for humans to remember/pronounce. It's their "official" name that appears on most legal documents, including their "license" which is essentially a registration card and number that all Cats are required to have. Most Cats have a license, and a license name, by age three, some get theirs as infants. Sometimes the parents have a say in what the license name will be, sometimes not. Sometimes a Cat will prefer their license name, some prefer their Particular Name, others don't care and will respond to either.

The Junkyard - a slum, mostly populated by Cats, on the outskirts of the metropolitan area of an unnamed imaginary British city, comprised partly of makeshift shelters scattered throughout an actual dump/landfill/junkyard, and partly of several large shantytowns built on the unused land surrounding the dump

Some biology stuff:

Okay brief anatomy lesson before we begin

(For real though, please at least glance over that link before continuing, it is fairly brief and it makes what I'm about to try to explain a lot less complicated)

I've had to do some fantasy science to work out how Cats can have retractable claws without becoming less dextrous than humans (because I need them to be able to play instruments made for human hands). What I've essentially gone with so far is that Cats have extra bones in their hands/feet, which would make them unlike any other known tetrapod either living or in the fossil record, so the science side of me rebels at this, but the art side of me says it's a story about bipedal talking felines with mystical powers it's already science fiction they could have duckbills if I wanted them to (I don't), and so I think this is a decent compromise. I can go into further detail about the way the claws work later on if you like, but this post is already going to be pretty long so for now I'll just say that you can describe the claw as an extra joint attached to the end of the distal phalange.

Cats are super bendy, for the same reason that (fourlegger) cats are bendy. They have extra bones/joints in their spines. Cats have 7 cervical, 13 thoracic, 7 lumbar, 5 sacral, and 19-23 caudal. They have more sacral bones than fourleggers because they're bipedal.

Cats are habitual bipeds, like humans. But unlike humans, they are perfectly comfortable wandering around on their hands and knees. Though the bipedal stance is more comfortable and usually perfered by adults especially, most non-elderly Cats are still perfectly fine crawling on the ground on their hands and knees. You're generally more likely to see kits and young adults doing this, but older adults do it to. If they want to move fast or run, they use a bipedal stance. Beyond that it's just whatever feels right for the situation.

Some culture stuff

Cats and other NHPs (except Rats) don't need clothing to cover their privates. I'm not going to go into the anatomy of how that works. For now let's just imagine it's the fur that's hiding it. They do wear clothes, especially in winter, but it's not so much for modesty as it is for functionality and fashion. Basically clothes for Cats are for three purposes: to protect from the elements (cold, rain, sun, etc), to shut the outraged humans up, and to look good. It's pretty common in the summer to see Cats wearing nothing but some arm/leg warmers or other fashion accessory, and a belt/rope around their waist to store things on in the absence of pockets,(even if they also have a bag)

If you've ever owned or seen or been around a male rat you probably know why I say "except Rats" and I'm not going to get into it here, just know Rat men always where pants/trousers

Cats exist globally and have a variety of different cultures, often greatly influenced by the human culture of that region, but one of the most universal elements of Cat culture is the idea that "It's considerably dishonorable for a Cat to use anything but their own claws (and teeth in many cultures) in combat against another unarmed Cat." Translation: Cats generally frown on using weapons, though many recognize the need to know how to use them, because humans use weapons, and a claws against a machete or a cattle prod or a gun isn't fair. By the same line many modern Cats consider it okay to use weapons against a (dishonorable) Cat that pulled a weapon on you first, though many elders still frown upon this.

The relationship between Cats (and other NHPs) and humans isn't very good, and the relationship between different types of NHPs isn't much better. There's a social hierarchy that puts humans (especially white straight cis male humans) at the top. The hierarchy goes humans > Dogs > Cats > Rodents

About the Jellicles

The Jellicles are the name of a specific tribe that once was primarily a religious tribe. Back a really fuck long time ago when Deuteronomy was still a kitten, the Jellicles lived off the land and practiced their religion (still working out the details of that sorry but I do have a few things)

The Jellicle Choice is a real thing, though I haven't decided if it started with Deuteronomy or if he was the next in a line sorta kinda but not exactly like the Avatar. The Jellicle Ball is held every year and people used to come from all over hoping to be picked. The humans didn't like this mass gathering, and the space they had in their own territory couldn't quite handle it anyway, so the Jellicles had to start keeping the Ball's location a secret until the day of, to keep the attendance numbers down somewhat. A Choice isn't made every year, though there's always a chance one will be made, and they've had a dry spell for the past 20 or 30 or so years before Grizabella. They don't have to keep the locale a secret anymore, most people don't bother coming and some even think the Jellicle Choice is just a myth. Few people remember when the Jellicles were primarily religious

Deut was trained as a shaman from early childhood, and groomed to be the next leader since he was ten, but he's always been a performer at heart. At some point after taking over as lead, he met (a very very young) Gus and invited him into the tribe. With Gus's help he organized plays and small musical performances, slowly and gradually getting other members in on it as well, until putting on plays every now and then was just a part of Jellicle life. And it was a good thing too, because by this point the tribe had been forced to give up their land and had to move to an industrial slum in the nearest city. No longer able to live off the land, they turned to performance to make a living. This was all well before Skimble/Jenny/Jelly/Spara (Jr)/Griz were born. These days the Jellicles are known primarily as a tribe of performers. Every current member that was born into the tribe except Deut was brought up as a performer

The play we see is an actual play being put on by the Jellicles as a dramatization of the events of That One Particular Jellice Ball™ which happened three years prior to the current timeline.

I think that covers the basic rundown. You can also see this jumbled mess for my first attempt at explaining all this crap lol.

Oh yeah and before I forget, I haven't decided yet if "Peke" and especially "Pollicle" refer to a certain culture of Dog, a certain body type, or two specific gangs ("packs") that just happen to be mostly comprised of a certain culture and/or body type of Dog. But they do exist in this universe. At the very least they are fictional gangs made up for the Rumpus Cat comics (yeah he's a comic book hero in this), or else real gangs or cultures/types of Dog written into Munk's Rumpus Cat fanwork play.

There's also a very important event that I really need to go over at some point but it's a really heavy topic and this isn't the best time like politically to post it right now, or even for me emotionally to write it out. But I do need to get this out at some point...

[partyinthemysterymachine]

as a classic cats fan what did you think of the 2019 movie?

FOREWARD: i have full respect to those who enjoyed CATS 2019 and show their support and engage in that part of the fandom. rock on. very truly, honestly, sincerely, i hope you have a blast and create and share and have the best of times. welcome to the fandom, it’s great to have you here; thank you for joining us and i really, really do mean that from the bottom of my heart and soul. it really makes me happy that CATS has become something good for you like it is, and has been, for so many of us. i’m ecstatic to see the fandom expanding and i’m so very serious about that.

unfortunately this is the time to jump ship if you don’t want to hear any more complaints about it. thank you and ilu all and once again, welcome to the fold, i love that you’re joining us and y’all being here honey butters my toast xoxo

there was a 2019 movie?

runs hands down face

from the very first sneeze of an idea of doing a CATS movie went around being speculated in what.. 2012?? i have been against it because i knew it wouldn’t be done right. what i really wanted, really hoped for, what the fandom very honestly deserves and STILL does to this day and beyond is another honest, no dances cut, full on professionally shot video of the stage production again.

i’m still putting my hand to the cold glass and pulling my thin shawl around my shoulders as i gaze past the rain blurring the dreary world outside and sighing a tremendous, weary sigh because Hamilton is getting a full professionally-shot stage movie...... and CATS likely won’t ever.. and how cruel that is.

(not hatin on Hamilton, btw; im just old and bitter LOL i have zero hard feelings towards Hamilton and honestly good for them for getting that done, they deserve it)

so...... listen. i appreciate the thought and commitment to making a CATS movie. i think the biggest thing that busted my balls about it was the use and execution of the CGI cat people. ofc this is a big thing in a lot of opinions. but i’ve always been sitting here like....... 

there are... decades of fanart. decades of productions and photos and costume design. but the fan. art. did anyone go in and look at it? artists have been drawing these characters a wide variety of ways, but when it boils down to the anthropomorphic take on it, i thought it was pretty damn clear how good it could look. i feel like they should have been diggin in the CATS art trenches all this time, all these years, and really taken all these artistic interpretations very seriously to heart. 

it felt like a slap in the face when they overhauled nearly everyone’s design/look to the point where i don’t even know who i’m looking at. and listen, i’m here for redesigns, don’t get me wrong. i dug Jason Derulo’s Tugger design. i dug Idris Elba’s Macavity base idea because he was made a shorthair and clearly all source material says otherwise? and where’s the ginger, mate?? 

(NOTE: in the b’way revival the new Macavity costume is easily 99% black in contrast to the original design in which the costume was 95% red and orange. stark difference. “Macavity’s a ginger cat” contradicts the revival costume a bit since, again, it’s largely black. so in its defense, the costume’s red/orange accents are well placed and the black pays more tribute to the “very tall and thin” aspect he’s supposed to have. (the old costume was wild and hairy, it kinda puffed him out a bit, esp with the much fuller and taller wig.) the revival wig is more on par with main wigs, and it has that coppery color, the makeup is simplistic (as it needs to be added on to Plato) and the color use FOR base Plato brings out the red and etc etc etc. i like the revival costume; it didn’t go overboard on the reds and oranges, it was sleek and powerful, and oh my god you’ve got fingergless gloves with fucking fringe there is a MANE wiht FRINGE who designed that bc i gotta kiss em and offer a piece of my heart and soul)

everything felt muddled, disorganized, foreign, and god why did we do Jennyanydots that why please why are the cockroaches people please are you all ok in production? blink twice if you need help

oh yeah and the fat jokes. i think we were supposed to be getting over that but ok

very interesting thing with Macavity kidnapping the potentials. kinda dug that. fuck it up, Skimbleshanks

and speaking of fuckin Skimbleshanks you have no idea how much of my shit i lost when he started the tap number. i was over the MOON. GOOD shit, FUCK yeah, GO OFF and it was brilliant, absolutely beautiful

ALSO when i heard Judi Dench was gonna be in it i was really hopeful she’d finally play Grizabella. what a fucking treat that would’ve been. she was set to debut the role in the West End, then she tore her Achilles, so Elaine Page replaced her and the rest was history. i’ve really wanted to hear/see her Grizabella. :(

(and briefly on the topic of Grizabella i’m kinda not here for the trend of younger actresses in the role just hhhhhhhh kinda takes away and misplaces her whole vibe and story imo)

i just.. i didn’t understand some of the plot changes like how Macavity was up in everyone’s bs tryna force himself up to the Heavyside Layer, it was silly, and yeah i shouldn’t take CATS so seriously even with the longtime fan background but 

gestures helplessly

y’all fr?? 

there were a lot of super questionable decisions across the board and all that has already been gone over by so many people a dozen billion times. on one hand, i’m glad CATS got some exposure. on the other, :( not like this

however, on a very good note (other than skimbleshanks bless him): let me tell you how EXCITED i was that they used the original Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer arrangement. what a fucking pleasant surprise. HELL yeah. i LOVE that arrangement and i’m tickled to pieces that it was chosen.  good shit. good shit.

tbh as Serious and Bruh Calm Down this might all sound, it’s honestly no skin off my teeth. it’s a frustration, sure. i’m so very tired.  i’m disappointed. i didn’t have any specific expectations about it, just a lot of hopes. maybe too many hopes.

being a longtime CATS fan i know as well or even better than other people what a fucking dumpster fire the show is LMAO it’s wild and it’s ridiculous and god it doesn’t make any sense, it has a plot and it has no plot and everything about it is so horny and it’s the greatest fucking thing to ever happen to me

i obviously have a lot of feelings and history with CATS, and 2019 did not “ruin” anything for me, it didn’t “taint” anything about it, despite everything i’ve complained about i don’t consider myself a purist. (ok. except about the revival choreography. some things are more sacred than the vatican.)

i don’t dig 2019 as a whole. i don’t want to completely disregard it. there are bits and pieces i did like and that i can appreciate. i wish it wasn’t done that way. i just wish we had gotten a true blue professionally shot, no dances cut, honest portrayal of the stage production. 

but hey it is what it is. at the bottom of it all i’m just glad there are new people coming in and taking a look around. it’s nice to see a resurgence of the fandom. it feels really good to see more people here and loving it. i missed CATS and the CATS community. it feels so good to be home.

[lerrengwesten]

The Peninsula, Chapter 3

lol this is late.  I’ve been so lazy this week, but it’s finally here.

Teltra waits to meet Dheroratera and learns something horrible.

And by horrible, I mean the conflict that spurred Atochengra into forming and becoming so violent. I suppose it could be called a race war or even sort of genocide, but that doesn’t quite fit with the nature of the real-life events and phenomena its based on. The succession of technology and certain coaster stereotypes can translate into anthropomorphic terms rather.... unfortunately at times given the inhuman nature of machines and how people treat them.

The red and yellow Fsemacea led Teltra to where he would wait and gestured him towards a gap into a maze of palmettos.  He entered, slowly and carefully, a bit afraid of how they would react if he disturbed the plants.  Someone clearly put a lot of thought into making this place.   He'd seen line mazes like this plenty of times of before, and knew that Far Spirits usually made them as a way of trapping the visiting spirits so they couldn't mob their creatures and overwhelm them.  But for whatever reason, he had a feeling that perhaps the Fsemacea had figured out how to make these things as well for their own purposes.  Stiff and eerie as they could be, they seemed to have a certain intelligence that others creatures didn't.  

Owing to his size, the tallest of the plants hardly reached his thighs.  He thanked the Moon Mimic that the forest stood above the sea of switchbacks.  As much as he usually liked heat, when standing still like this, it could get unbearable, since most of the spirits would hide in shadier spots and he would feel weaker and weaker without them giving him their power.  Feeling tired while trying to weave his way through the walkways to... wherever this line went to would have been a recipe for getting turned around and just wasting his time going back to the entrance.  There was a surprising amount of empty trail to get through just to catch the tail end of the line of actual waiting creatures.  Fortunately, his vantage point did make tracking his progress considerably easier, something he only came to appreciate once he spotted the creature at the end of the line.  

They shivered and panted in the heat, trying to shade their black limbs under their crimson body in between clawing at the motes of light floating around Teltra and the bushes, trying to lure them to towards themself.  The top of their head hardly reached his hips.  They looked up at him, utterly emotionless, with blacked out eyes.  A Fsemacea, of course.

"Hello, I'm Teltra.  I'm here to see Dheroratera.  And you are..."

"Xovret."

Their voice was louder than he expected, considering their size.  Yet it was just as strangelt emotionless as that of the other Fsemacea he'd met before.  

"Clearly not from here, are you?  This is the line to see Dheroratera, we're all here for that.  Anyhow, be glad you aren't.  Pretty rough life, actually.  Gotten even worse recently.  Thing's been demanding that everyone come here for a "test" at least once a year.  Obsessed with how much we four-legged folks shake or something.  Thinks it's some kind of moral failure if we don't.  Frankly, it's ridiculous.  We all get shaky when we're older.  They ought to damn well know that with how much they jitter themself.  Creatures have done much worse... far worse."

It was odd to here them use such casual language and clearly try to show expression through their words when they clearly weren't able to show it on their face.

"Oh yeah, that does seem extreme. Pretty much everyone where I come from is pretty shaky.  Though I guess I could kind of understand their reasoning if they're afraid of you guys ending up like the Lbutra.  Honestly, I've grown to feel bad for them rather than be afraid of them or mad at them for being cruel.  Constant screaming headaches from my head bouncing around all the time like that would make me snappy and irritable for sure.  But they're not known for being well-constructed, I guess..."

Their expression was unchanged, naturally, but their tilted their head up so their eyes were more directly angled into Teltra's.

"Look, kiddo.  Lbutra are saints compared the degenerate I used to share a name with."

"You changed your name?"

"Isn't it obvious?  It would be cruel to actually give someone a name as ugly as Xovret.  It's an anagram of my old name.... Voxtre."

They lowered their voice at the last word.  

"What's so bad about Voxtre?  Sounds like a decent name.  All I know about any Voxtres is that reportedly he has a long, thin coathanger."

They shook their head very quickly, almost vibrating it, in disgust.

"You say that like you're describing the color of his feathers.  Either you don't know what you're talking about or something unspeakably horrifying has happened in your neck of the woods while I've been holed up around here.  You don't know who... Voxtre is... do you?"

"Admittedly, no.  Just the coathanger thing from some rumor."

"Do you know who Dheroratera is?  Myrise?  Omenismid?  Cstepesteler?  Espythacerro?"

His face was blank with confusion and settling horror.  A few of the names were vaguely familiar.  But all he knew about them were the coathanger bits.

"Um... Espythacerro has a really thick hanger.  Supposed to be hard to bend.  And Myrise is... stupid?  I think.  It kind of stings to say that since everyone calls me that a lot and I don't even know who Myrise is."

"Oh my.  Oh dear.  Well....  Could you peek over the plants and kindly tell me how long the line looks?  If we've got the time and you really want to spoil your innocence, err- let's just say I've got personal experience with all of the above."

Teltra glanced ahead.  It didn't seem to have moved since he reached Xovret.

"Hasn't moved."

"Hopefully it's just a singular snagup.  Usually Dheroratera is quick and efficient with their meetings.  If they're having a slow morning, I'll let them have a piece of my mind if they want to criticize me for shaking at that examination.  If you ask me, being always at the ready is much more important for a Fsemacea than being able to stand still as a statue."

"So, about that story?"

"Oh.  Yes.  That story.  Now, how should I start?  

Once upon a time there were two little dragons, or rather, creator spirits that took those forms,  that worked for the Moon Mimic and decided to split off on their own.  Before they did that they did admittedly make some creatures that looked sort of like us Fsemacea, but only one or two of those is even still alive now and nobody gives a shit about them since they were horrible and all they do is confuse people and defile our name. Anyways, the dragons didn't intent to deal with the business of making creatures after leaving, but then the Other Great Banenhaxer came and asked them to make one for them.  That thing wasn't a great creature by today's standards, but was solid for his time and his Far Spirit was happy with him.  And then more Far Spirits had the Dragons make ones for them.  I was one of the earlier ones along with my twin, who was also named Xovret for a time.  Though they had some work done recently and their name changed to something else, I believe.  I don't care.  It's nice that I won't get confused for them now, though.  

Anyhow, the Dragons really got their break when they made the first of the floating Fsemcea 25 years ago.  Spirits thought it wouldn't work out but it did and the visitors loved that guy.  Never seen a creature so graceful but so fearsome, and hovering several feet above the ground at that.  Year after that, they made Dheroratera for one of the Far Spirits of the Gardens.  But they were too busy with other work to make one for both of them, so the Far Spirit  of the Dark Garden got a Fsemacea, and the Far Spirit of the Old Garden got their creature from the Archer.  You know anything about the Archer?"

"They made Atochengra."

"Well, yes, Atochengra was formed of a group of many of their creations, yes.  But not all of the Archer's hand are Atochengra members.  Do remember that they were amongst the first of the creators to work outside the Woodlands and that their work spans many years and varieties.  Now, bear in mind that I'm much more shameless in my opinions than other Fsemacea are and hate how obsessive Dheroratera is about shutting us up.  Anyhow, I lived in the years before Atochengra really formed, and unlike them, I've had good relationships with a couple of the folks who later joined it.  I hate it when others lump a group as wide and varied as the Archer's creations into one thing.  Sorry for the tangent, it's just something I feel strongly about."

"Oh no, it's fine.  I feel bad for those guys who aren't Atochengrans but still get falsely associated with them.... I know what it's like to have everyone... assume I'm a monster because of who made me.  Continue, I guess."

"I won't bore you with the full history of the Archer.  I wasn't alive for most of it and don't know the specifics.  All you really need to know is that they had their heyday about a decade or two before the Dragons started getting attention and they were really starting to lose steam around the same time they were rising up.  More creators were coming up and beating them at their own games.  Or so the rumors say.  You definitely didn't see them making many of those giant status symbol greatest-in-the-land beasts in that last decade, though.  Definitely not as many as they had before.  They'd had a number of high-profile flops previously.  Threirapoc, the creature that swung wildly as it ran around until it tore itself apart in three years.  Cstepesteler and her absolutely rotten attitude scaring away all the visitors.  Several plans for creatures that just didn't make it to the forming stage.  The Spirit of the Old Garden had gotten some great ones from them in the past though, and the Archer was still a high-profile creator at the time, so they weren't too bothered by the idea. And that's when things got really fuzzy."

"Fuzzy how?"

"Some think that they were trying to be like the Dragons to catch up to the times.  Look at the rare pictures and accounts of Myrise and everyone mentions those blacked-out eyes, that withered second set of arms and the smooth, full legs, and the way its horns wound together in the front sort of like Dheroratera's.  Those are probably the most stereotypical Fsemacea features imaginable now that we're more common.  Reportedly it even acted a bit like a Fsemacea, in some regards.  There's also an argument that it was the Archer trying something new to stay on top of it all, and that it was just a coincidence that it looked like Fsemacea like that.  Some claim it was a bastardization of the design meant for the Dragons that ended up passed on to the Archer when they didn't have the time for it.  Stuff about the Archer's pretty primitive methods not working with what the spirit wanted from the design.  Nobody seems to know but the Far Spirits and the creators involved themselves and I'm not going to endorse any of the rumors.  

Myrise was that creature they made.  Really awkward guy before and after they...turned.  Too strange to really fit in with the Archer's other creations at first, despised by visitors because of how relentlessly snappy and cruel it could be with them and how it shook viciously, and just plain disturbing to look at for me.  I saw it a few times.  It kind of did look and act like a Fsemacea, but also not at all and it was uncanny as hell.  Just looked wrong.  Only a small group of visitors ��really liked it and it spent its days moping in secluded meadows crying about how it was such a shame to its creator and would never do good in the world until one day something clicked inside and.. well, it turned.  Supposedly something the Naeaphid said set it off, but hell if I know for sure.  Nobody does. Thing reportedly looked at a passing Fsemacea and just... snapped it.  With that magic coathanger of its.  It's a thing we know all about today, but we didn't even know it was possible at the time.  Before then, all they used the things for was to tie themselves in knots and lick their own elbows.  And then it went on a damn rampage.  Snapping everyone it saw.  I didn't get attacked, I lived too far away.  But it was hideous.  Seeing that silvery stuff dripping out of the victimes.  Things poking out never meant to see the light of day.  Seeing them warped into shapes they should have never taken.  I don't think anyone knows why Myrise did it.  Resentment for possibly ending up the way it did because of us, but not being one of us.  Rage that its creator failed so much on it.    Maybe just the pain of its loneliness, failure, and decaying health.

At first it was pretty much alone in its actions and was accepted as some sort of freak.  But as shit started to hit the fan later that decade as the Dragons got bigger and the Archer was obviously on the major decline, the others also started going after us the same way.  Grouping up.  We actually know their intentions.  They rallied around Myrise as a savior and later a martyr.  They knew we were replacing them and didn't want to accept it.  All they felt they could do was destroy us.  Of course, our Far Spirits could patch the wounds, but the more they made us jumpy and seem injury-prone while hiding what they were doing, the more they thought they'd live just a bit longer.  I want to feel bad for them.  In my older age now where my future is uncertain, I know that feeling of dread.  But their battle is useless.  The Archer is dead and nobody makes creatures the way they did anymore, aside from those wretched imitation creatures I sometimes hear reports of.  Now those certainly are mockeries of others' creations.  

But anyways.  That mess continued for a few years..... Until Dheroratera turned as well one day.  Saw Myrise in a moment of weakness and just started viciously... stabbing it.  I know, I can't picture it either.  They just went after it with those two intertwined horns on their forehead, jabbing it over and over until the thing was so.. fucked up that it probably was barely salvageable.  The thing is, nobody seems to agree when they did it.  They used to claim that they did it while it was still alert and kicking and only managed it because it didn't have its coathanger, though now they won't speak about it.  Popular rumor is that they actually did it after its Far Spirit gave up on it and attacked it while it was conked out and just lying around while the spirit was trying to get the thing off its hands.  Because they wanted the glory and fame or something.  Sure doesn't seem that way anymore.  Far Spirit sure wasn't bothered by it given their actions a few years later.

We call that general time period "The Big Turn".  Lots of stuff happened the years between when Myrise was put in a dormant state and when it was finally euthanized and hauled off by the Gnashers to be disposed of.  Banenhaxers went batshit and bought more creatures than they could handle, Nlimnumile came about, Cstepesteler was modified and kicked out of Atochengra, and the Archer and the whoever made the Roedetsi died.  Combination of the two main fanatics Cstepesteler and Myrise being gone and their creator out of the picture to save their asses made the idea of a fight a lot less appealing for them and they just sort of... slunk off into the desert and mostly kept to themselves.  No clue what they're doing now, I don't go out there since you still hear about them snapping those that come near.  Though numbers have definitely been dropping and they're aging rapidly.  You hear all sorts of reports of wild shit going on out there, but none of it is really reliable, and types like Myrise with that sort of past behind them tend to attract a lot of gossip.  And that's it.  That's the end of the story as I know it."

Teltra was still for a while, struggling to process it all.  It was just so much information and Xovret's voice was so flat and emotionless that he had a hard time understanding it as real and really reacting to it.

"But who was Voxtre?  You didn't even mention that guy.  Or Omenismid.  Or Espythacerro.  Or really that Cstepesteler either."

"Oh, yes, Voxtre.   He was basically the brains behind the whole operation.  Didn't seem to really be that into the whole thing, but he kept them all in line and did some nasty stuff.  Guy's got to be more heartless than a lot of us even are under Dheroratera's ridiculous rules.  Stone cold freak who supposedly supported the whole thing with some sort of twisted logic about how we're going to replace everyone some day and suck the life and soul out of this Peninsula.  Every few years you hear something about him trying to scrape the remnants of Atochengra back together and reportedly he's still leading whatever's left of it, but nobody's actually seen him do anything since The Big Turn.  Which makes sense, since there's no logical reason to go recklessly charging into action when all you've got are a ramshackle lot of old creatures that probably won't last the decade anyways.  Hell, recent rumors have been that he'll be one of the next ones to get axed.  Or that he's fallen into a pit of quicksand.  No idea why that's such a common one.   In any case, nobody in their right mind wants to be mistaken for or associated with him.  

Omenismid was basically responsible for the end of the Archer.  An ambitious idea, he was, but he had so many issues that fixing him wound up draining all their resources and that was that.  Espythacerro was sort of a second-tier wacko.  Guy hated pretty much any other creature over 20 feet that he felt was a mockery of him since he was the first.  Which isn't even technically right since there was a taller guy several years before him, but he's better known and everyone forgot about that guy.  Didn't have the hatred of Fsemacea as a whole since his Far Spirit loves him and would never harm him, but he sure had it out for the bigger Fsemacea. Kind of an incompetent fool, but you have to admire him for his persistence and energy.  He's been fighting his own little battle even after the Turn and that's the reason why Dheroratera doesn't let any of the bigger guys anywhere near Atochengra territory.  He's still charging around there, ready to use that coathanger of his.  Unless he also fell into a pit of quicksand.  Seriously, I don't know why such a ridiculous rumor pops up so often for him and Voxtre.  And Cstepesteler was up with Myrise and him for a while and pretty much was just aggressive because she thought it was fun.  Sicko.  Nobody's heard from her since she was changed, though. Reportedly can't even use her coathanger anymore.  Might have calmed down a bit.  The visitors seem to like her more now, at least. "

"..Oh."

Teltra still really didn't know how to react.  Other than point out that the line was virtually gone.

"Xovret, you should probably get a move on.  Is Dheroratera hard on tardiness?"

They glanced back, noticed that the Fsemacea in front of them was long gone, and raced ahead to look for the back of the line, Teltra following close behind.  

A small yellow-and-black Fsemacea, barely taller than Xovret, floated above the ground at the entrance that the line was now up to.   Their expression was indistinguishable, of course, but their motioning toward Xovret was harsh.  Xovret gave Teltra one last little wave before the larger Fsemacea swept them away into the cavern and another nearly identical all-black one took its place. The only difference besides the color was that its tail curved to the right rather than the left and its horns were a mirror image of its.  Such was the nature of so-called clone creatures, though this was obviously a flipped one, which were not unheard of.

He had nothing better to do than to glance around at his surrounding, now feeling more apprehensive than excited about the prospect.  Xovret... was nothing like the Fsemacea he'd met previously, with their very casual and expressive wording and openness.  It was odd.  He wasn't sure if he should trust what they said.  Sure, there was lots of detail and it wasn't impossible... but there were so many parts that they left open that were suspicious.  Maybe it was just the poorer record keeping of the old days- the Ehtstunisas hadn't been as unified either to demand such things and technology had presumably improved since then.  But it seemed odd that nobody was around to witness what would become a series of events so supposedly major.  

But judging by their reaction when he claimed he didn't know who those creatures were... He wondered what Dagnakki was hiding from him.  He knew they kept him away from especially hazardous jobs and didn't bother sending him to Fsemacea territory as they were the exact opposite and his abilities were wasted on such endeavors.  Or so they always claimed.  It planted a seed of doubt in him, though.  He was going to do what they always did-ask around and see what others had to say and see if they had any reputable proof rather than just take the rumors as-is.

He gulped.  He'd never disobeyed them like this before... but he was tempted to run off and figure it out himself after bringing the message to Dheroratera.  He wasn't going to likely get another chance, and he doubted that Dagnakki would give him the truth about the whole thing if he asked, considering they'd hidden it so long.  

Why wasn't he more emotional about this?  He wasn't sure why.  Something about the whole thing felt so distant and detached from him.  There really wasn't any reason he should be upset over something that didn't effect him and likely never would.  But he also knew he should feel at least a little sympathy for the Fsemacea.  But he just couldn't.  Something about the stiffness, the lack of emotion.  It just made them seem like inanimate objects rather than things with feelings and he felt horrible for how he felt this way.  

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and tried to put some of the pieces together.  That fellow he'd seen out in the desert a few days ago was certainly suspicious.  Maybe it was just something innocuous that he'd taken the wrong way.  That sort of thing would explain all the wild rumors about Atochengra's actions.  

It didn't matter, though.  He didn't have time to finish that train of thought.  The low voice of the floating Fsemacea interrupted it as they beckoned him in.  He swallowed again and slowly entered the cave with them trailing right behind him.  it was more of a short tunnel than a cave and emptied into a clearing in a more heavily wooded part of the forest.  And there he saw Dheroratera.  

They weren't terribly large or physically impressive.  Actually, they were known as perhaps the most generic Fsemacea in existence, other than their odd head shape.  They were roughly average in height, perhaps a bit below it, and came up to his chest at most.  They were of a very average build, and somewhat rectangular, though still very smooth in appearance as Fsemacea generally were.  But they had a certain presence to them.  The way their long snout emphasized the directions they turned their head and curved down disapprovingly at rest.  The narrowed, stern expression locked onto their black eyes.  And most of all, the red specking all over their body, including their horns.  It was something they were somewhat known for, and somewhat self-conscious of.  It made them look considerably older than they were, with some foolish spirits or newly formed beings mistaking them as being older than some creatures well over a decade their elder.  To a human, the flecks might have also resembled blood.  They even were starting to discolor their golden horns.  

Teltra tried to look away from them, intimidated by their all-seeing gaze, and kept quiet, waiting for them to speak.  They didn't.  The other Fsemacea tapped him on the shoulder and muttered to him.

"Dheroratera is incapable of words at a nonhazardous volume.  Speak first, and they will tap back."

He looked back at Dheroratera, gazing into the spot between their two front horns.  

"I have this message for you from Dagnakki."

He bowed down to hand it to them.  They did not move.  He straightened up and reached his arm down to their level.  They took it from him firmly and started rapping on a rock beside them with one of their free arms.  The creatures did not write in letters, but in a series of dots and dashes related to Morse code.  Occasionally the tapped form was used when it was too loud or otherwise dangerous to talk, or with creatures that couldn't speak.  This was the first time he had experienced the latter.  

"I shall examine."

That's what the taps seemed to say.

They took a moment to read over the message.  Knowing what he now knew about them, he averted his gaze as long as he could to get the image and temptation to ask them about it out of his mind.  But out of the corner of his eye, he noticed them rereading it multiple times, then gesture towards the guard behind him.  The two waved him away and he wobbled backwards at first, before making off out of the clearing and then what was presumably the exit tunnel.  

Well, here he was.  Free, and with potential knowledge that he certainly wasn't expecting.  He really wasn't sure what to do with himself and took another moment just to stare off across the scrub and watch the lakes' water ripple until he felt more confident in what he would do next.  One thing for sure, he wasn't going back.  Or at least not straight back for now.  For how odd they were, he liked Xovret.  Their wording could be harsh, but they were generally polite to him. Surely there were more Fsemacea like them out there.  He wanted to meet them.  The more he thought about it, the less appealing returning to Dagnakki was.  There were others on the Peninsula who treated him decently, better than that, actually.  And nobody had exactly hurt him out here.  Why would he go back now?

[ecotone99]

[SF] Dolls

*** Not sure if this is the right sub, but this is a section from a story I've been writing. I've started rewriting it, and the rewrite doesn't really integrate this. But I liked these parts, and I'm not sure how I can fit them in with the main story. The formatting is a bit off due to copying and pasting.

​

Tech Support: Series 2 – The Prequels

Module I: Dolls

It was her favorite one and she’d lost it. It was the first one she’d ever gotten all by herself, but it fell out of her bag and now she didn’t know where it was. It was probably gone forever and there was nothing she could do.

Why wasn’t I more careful? I shouldn’t have taken it with me. Maybe if I didn’t always try to walk so fast, this never would have happened.

She did look for it. She looked for it for two whole days. And every minute, she just knew she would suddenly see it waiting for her in a patch of grass next to the playground, or maybe it was on the curb and just covered up by a dead leaf, or something. She knew she would find it, and then everything would be okay again.

Stop crying. Just get another one. How can I be crying about something so stupid? I must be defective. I’m not supposed to cry over such silly things. I’m not a baby. I shouldn’t be acting like this. This isn’t the way I’m supposed to be.

She’d known that there was something wrong with her for a long time. It was probably a lot of things. Sometimes she felt like she was intentionally made defective. That seemed like the only explanation for all of the things that always seemed to go wrong.

I know what I have to do. Why can’t I ever do it? It will only be uncomfortable for a minute. Then, everything will be the way it’s supposed to be. I don’t even know what I’m doing here in the first place. All of this is stupid. Everyone probably hates me, anyway. At least, they would if they knew what I really am.

How could she always be so clumsy? Why was she always embarrassing herself by laughing at the wrong times or tripping over simple words? And why was she always losing her things? That one was her favorite. She’d worked so hard for it, but she couldn’t even take care of it and now it was gone forever because of her.

It will only be uncomfortable for a minute. I shouldn’t even be here.

…

The young girl’s hazel eyes stared out vacantly from behind the neatly arranged rows of shoes and small boxes. Nothing remained now but the irregular clumping of eyelashes, glued together by recent tears, to indicate that the small figure now resting against the closet wall had ever belonged anywhere else but among these other lifeless things.

​

INCIDENT REPORT

CASE: A657329 RE: Serial No. MR23-84 Model CR-C2 F-Type [C2 Series]

Unit experienced devastating system-wide malfunctions of class 7 and above at 8:27 AM and proceeded to follow automated self-deactivation protocols. Unit initiated psychological self-deactivation preparation sequences at 9:32 AM, and the final deactivation sequence was completed at 12:43 PM.

Unit’s self-diagnostic logs indicate that it had been experiencing malfunctions intermittently but with increasing frequency and severity for at least seven months. These malfunctions have been confirmed by our diagnostics team.

Though the original cause of the unit’s malfunctions has yet to be conclusively determined, preliminary analysis indicates they were almost certainly a result of defects caused by design flaws in the third subprocessing matrix of the unit’s Central NERVUS System. Synaptic relay nodes J3-J18 seem to have been particularly compromised.

Affected systems include emotional generation and regulation, motor coordination and control, memory integration and recall, interpersonal interaction, speech processing, as well as multiple secondary and tertiary systems that cannot be conclusively identified right now due to corruption in the unit’s diagnostic logs.

The unit was also found to be in possession of nineteen human fingers and six extracted cybernetic implants, including the REM induction implant of Senator Lexa Khan, who disappeared six months ago and whose severed index finger was found at Zenra Park last Thursday.

As with the other malfunctions noted previously, the original cause of the unit’s aberrant social behavior has still yet to be determinedd, but we do not have any evidence to believe that it was the result of the various malfunctions we discovered in the unit’s aggression systems. Analysis of the unit’s logs would appear to indicate that it was not even aware that the more violent acts it had been committing were socially unacceptable or considered undesirable by human beings.

However, due to the extremely violnet, public, and severe nature of these malfunctions, we have ordered an emergency recall of all remaining C2 units and have already broadcast the deactivation instruction on the global C2 remote command channel.

END REPORT – TECHNICIAN KM

​

Axxesss™ Internal Messaging System

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:33

From: Jonathan Kren

To: Kyle Murphy

Cc: Jaxia Wanner

Subject: Your report on case A657329

Kyle,

I am at such a loss right now trying to explain what could possibly make you think it’s acceptable to attach something like that to one of your incident reports that I don’t even know where to begin. I’m not sure whether you thought this would be funny, whether you were trying to impress your new boss with a mediocre dramatization, or whether you were just high or drunk, but I am very angry. This was extremely unprofessional, inappropriate, offensive, and honestly, more than a little bit disturbing.

I know you’ve only been here for a few days, so I’m going to try to give you the benefit of the doubt and send you to our psychiatrist, Dr. Jaxia Wanner, instead of simply firing you immediately. Please be aware that your continued employment is entirely dependent upon Dr. Wanner’s evaluation and recommended course of action.

If you want to pursue creative writing, do it on your own time. While you’re at work, stick to doing your job.

You also need to correct several formatting, capitalization, and spelling errors in your report. Please run a diagnostic on your spell checker’s personality subroutines. I expect you to review our formatting guidelines on your own.

This is your only warning. The next time, you’re fired.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:44

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Jonathan Kren

Cc: Kyle Murphy

Re: Your report on case A657329

Jonathan: Please stop harassing the new hires. You’re not a supervisor. You don’t even work in tech support. You can’t fire anyone. And stop telling people that I’m the psychiatrist or our resident sex therapy robot. This isn’t funny. You’re on probation, and the next time you do this, YOU’RE fired.

Kyle: You need to revise your introductory summary without embellishments to the unit’s internal logs. This type of writing is not appropriate for an incident report.

Please delete your final paragraph, rewrite the summary of the unit’s pre-incident cognitive logs without stylistic flourishes (changes from third person to first person, italics, etc.), move any non-technical information (such as descriptions of the unit’s criminal activities) from the main document to the final section of your summary, remove speculation about the unit’s motives, and generally try to refrain from attempting to anthropomorphize the unit’s malfunctions for dramatic effect, no matter how tempted you might be.

Also, please use only official system names in the main document instead of referring to systems by their functions, and remember to use trademark symbols.

​

Finally, please do review our formatting guidelines as well as correcting the capitalization and spelling errors in your report before resubmitting it. And remember to include the date as well as the time. I don’t have time to list everything here. This is sloppy work, and you need to do better.

Jaxia

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:49

From: Jonathan Kren

To: Jaxia Wanner

Cc: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Jaxia, please reboot yourself. I’m sending a technician to take a look at you.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:51

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Jonathan Kren

Cc: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Wow. Clean out your desk by the end of the day. You’re fired.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:52

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Cc: Jonathan Kren

Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

lol

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:54

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

…Excuse me?

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 9:57

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Oh god. I am so sorry. I meant to send that to Jonathan.

Um, and I didn’t write that introduction. I have no idea where that came from. I didn’t even know I was supposed to attach a narrative description of the unit’s logs to the incident report.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 10:23

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

You are on really thin ice, Kyle. Please just reread the guidelines, revise your report, and resubmit it.

Jaxia

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 10:31

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

I really am so sorry. I didn’t mean to send that to you or screw up the report. I get very nervous at new jobs. I just have one more thing. Where do I find the formatting guidelines for the main document?

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 10:35

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

They’re in the data packet you were provided when you were hired.

Jaxia

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 10:37

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Okay. I’m sorry. But do you know where it will tell me how to correctly format the serial number and the model identification code in the header?

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 11:49

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Section 5.

Jaxia

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 11:51

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Is there a new version? Section 5 in my data packet describes the calibration procedure for the auxiliary Penissary Interface Drive controllers of the Khan Series combat cyborgs.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 11:59

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

I have sent a new copy of the data packet to your terminal. Please delete any files you may have received from Mr. Kren.

For future reference, PID can stand for several different things, none of which will ever be ‘penissary interface drive’. And we have never manufactured combat cyborgs.

The new packet will contain the correct information.

Jaxia

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 12:01

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

Oh. Okay. Sorry. Thanks again.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 13:32

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Your report on case A657329

You’re welcome.

Jaxia

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 13:45

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Subject: Report on case A657329

Hi Jaxia,

Sorry, just one more thing. Do I need to capitalize the word class in the main document? Is it class 7 malfunction or Class 7 malfunction? Sorry. I’m just a bit overwhelmed today, and I don’t want to put you through any more work.

Sorry again. Thanks for your time, Jaxia. I really appreciate it.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 13:51

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Report on case A657329

Okay.

Kyle, you really need to go through the entire data packet. That contains all of the information you’re asking me for. I can send this to you once more if you somehow still don’t have it, but I don’t want to hear from you again until you’ve read all the way through it. You should also think about going down to psych support on the first floor. Someone there can write you a prescription for anxiety medication.

Jaxia

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 13:53

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Report on case A657329

Okay. Sorry.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 13:55

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Subject: You’re a moron

Please try to fall down an elevator shaft or a flight of stairs on your way down there. Maybe then you’ll be able to remember the fucking trademark symbols.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:01

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: You’re a moron

What?

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:13

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: You’re a moron

Oh no. Kyle, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to send that. I apologize. I am very embarrassed. I was just blowing off steam after a hard afternoon and must have somehow accidentally hit send. It has nothing to do with you. Please forgive me and try to forget about this.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:17

From: Kyle Murphy

To: Jaxia Wanner

Re: Re: Re: You’re a moron

Okay. Sorry again.

Have you had a chance to coordinate with CR to finalize the list of cybernetic employees I’ll be assigned to, by the way?

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:18

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Kyle Murphy

Re: Re: Re: Re: You’re a moron

Kyle, just rewrite your damn report.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:32

From: Jonathan Kren

To: Technical Support

Cc: Jaxia Wanner, Kyle Murphy

Bcc: Laya Khan

Subject: Jaxia Wanner and Kyle Murphy

Attachment: log10241.axs

Please review the attached communication logs. These two units are behaving strangely and need to be repaired.

I believe Jaxia’s penissary interface drive may also be malfunctioning. I have been receiving many reports that she is no longer an effective sex therapy robot.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:36

From: Jaxia Wanner

To: Gwyneth Stalin, Gabriel Satie, Kanoko Villa-Lobos

Subject: Please block Jonathan Kren’s Axxesss™ login

I have fired Jonathan. I need one of you guys to block his Axxesss™ login. He keeps sending messages to taunt me, and it’s driving me nuts. I can’t handle any more of this crap today.

Also, can you please set up the system to automatically attach department names to all user tags again so I don’t have to put up with this kind of nonsense anymore?

Thanks, guys. I appreciate it.

Jaxia

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 14:59

From: Kanoko Villa-Lobos [Axxesss™ Support]

To: Jaxia Wanner [Human Resources]

Subject: Jonathan Kren and Axxesss™ bugs

Hey Jax,

I just got in for the day. Gwen and Gabriel are out sick. Some weird problem with medication mix-ups, apparently.

I can’t block Jonathan until his termination is officially confirmed in the system by CR. Also, it seems like all of your messages are visible to the entire network today for some reason. It might have something to do with the bug that’s causing Axxesss™ message drafts to auto-send when they’re closed. I’m looking into it.

​

Timestamp: 2/27/2036 15:05

From: Jonathan Kren [Legal Services]

To: Jaxia Wanner [Human Resources]

Cc: Filemon Poledouris [Cybernetic Resources]

Bcc: Laya Khan [Psychological Support]

Subject: Jonathan Kren’s Wrongful Termination

Attachment: Lots_Of_Stuff_To_Read_Bitch.jxs

Dear Overlord Wanner,

This is official notice of a wrongful termination claim filed on behalf of my client, Mr. Jonathan Kren. Please thoroughly review the nine hundred pages of attached documentation prepared by Mr. Kren’s legal counsel and submit a detailed response along with a full termination report to Cybernetic Resources and Legal Services. You have until the end of the day to comply, or the request for Mr. Kren’s employment to be terminated will be dismissed.

Sincerely,

Jonathan Kren, Esq., Serial No. RK97-42

Model LC-B5 Lawyer Cyborg [B5 Series] Rev. 3 – Copyright © 2034 LunaTekk

LunaTekk Legal Services

​

Axxesss™ Internal Messaging System

INCOMING PRIVATE MESSAGE VIA AXXESSS™: This is Jaxia. I’m sending our new technician down for an evaluation. I think he might be a little bit unstable. You should probably write him a prescription for lunazepam or something. Thanks, Laya. You’re doing a great job so far. You’re the only one at this company who doesn’t seem hell-bent on driving me insane this week. Let's get together for a game of ping pong later. =) - Jaxia –END OF MESSAGE

​

PHARMACYLOGUE

It was his favorite brand and he’d spilled it. It was the first time he’d gotten all to himself, but now there was Scotch all over his desk and he didn’t know where he was. He would probably be confused forever and there was nothing he could do.

yu fkubg rczy bthci I trtsed yuo waht te halldod yo d—

He did read the label. He read it the whole way through. And every minute, he just knew that the fog would suddenly clear up and the effects of the drugs would wear off, or maybe he’d just read the dosage wrong and taken too many or something. There was no way that the nice doctor in psych support would have intentionally given him maximum strength antipsychotics instead of anxiolytics like the bottle said just because she thought making others confused and watching them pass out on their keyboards was funny.

hkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkjx1kkkk—

Hm. Good point, but I think you might have missed a couple of commas. By the way, you should probably change the default password on your terminal so other people can’t attach things to your reports. And try to be more skeptical about what you read on your medication labels instead of always taking everything at face value. I’m trying to help you. Have a nice nap, Mr. Murphy Wurphy.

SYSTEM MESSAGE: Technician Kyle Murphy has been disconnected

​

Laya wondered if she should clear his screen. Kyle probably wouldn’t remember anything with that much Somaquel™ in his system, and she’d already had her bit of fun. Getting fired again would most likely spoil the fantastic mood she was in.

Maybe she should start giving him the lunazepam she had actually prescribed, too. Maybe even at the right dosage. It would probably be in her best interest if her new technician wasn’t delirious.

Maybe next week.

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[mommyofmanyhats]

Top 24 Unique and Easy Couples Halloween Costume Ideas

If you are planning on going to a Halloween party or event with your spouse, significant other, sibling, or bestie, you may be looking for a costume. These are some of this Mom’s favorite couples Halloween costume ideas, the deviled egg is my first choice.

Funny Couples Halloween Costume Ideas

Are you the funny couple? Do you like to make your friends laugh or are you always pulling pranks? Here are some of our favorite funny couple Halloween costume ideas.

Bacon and Eggs

Who doesn’t like bacon and eggs? This is a super fun costume that is perfect for any two people. It is not necessarily themed for a couple, so you can wear it with a friend, parent, child, or co-worker. Both of the costumes are about 16 inches high and fit the average adult as a one-size-fits-all costume. These can also be used with teens.

Peanut Butter and Jelly Couples Costume

One of the top couple’s costumes on last year was the peanut butter and jelly set so I thought it was worth a mention again this year. These are unisex costumes, so anyone can wear the Halloween costumes. One of them contains an oversized peanut butter bread slice as the costume, while the other one has a jelly bread slice.

Wine and Cheese Set

We’ve been told that the best way to make a good impression at a tony party is to bring along a tasteful wine and cheese pairing. If you are looking for a fun adult’s couple costume, consider going as a wine and cheese set. And we don’t see how anybody could do better than this hilarious costume set, which lets everyone know just how much you and your partner hope they enjoy the hors d’oeuvres! This is another one-size-fits-all adult costume set, this time where one of you is the shape of a wine bottle and the other is shaped like a cheese platter with a large inflatable knife.

Nerd Couple

Nerds can be shy, socially awkward, and dress strangely, but you know what else they can do? Party! Don’t believe us? Take this Nerdy Nerd Costume for a spin, and you’ll feel the geeky partying spirit before you can recite the number pi to the 100th digit! (Which is a 9, btw. Thanks, Google!)  Dressing up in this classic nerd style costume costume is a good step toward embracing your own inner nerd. Several options are available for men nerds and women nerds alike.

Mr and Mrs Potato Head Costume

  There are always some big questions lingering over common items and practices, and Mr. Potato Head is nearly at the top of the list! Who was the first to think of making molded pieces of a face to adorn your boring old potato? That’s not where the Potato Head questions end, either. Who decided that this newly anthropomorphic potato man needed a wife? And who came up with the idea that his rear end was to be storage for said parts. We may never know, but in the end, we’re glad they thought of it. This Mr and Mrs Potato Head Costume will be a blast from the past. We just hope you’re not plagued with an existential crisis when you’re supposed to be partying.

Plug and Socket Costume

In the vast world of domestic hardware and fixtures, you’d be hard pressed to find two things more perfectly designed for each other than the electrical plug and socket. Without each other, plugs and sockets are just spare parts in separate bins; but when you put them together, the magic happens! It may sound sappy, but when you and your sweetie are wearing this cute Plug and Socket Costume together, you’ll feel that magic too!

Now, when we’re talking about the “magic” of the plug and socket in this couple’s costume, all the stuff we just said still applies, except we’re trying not to giggle while we say it. You and your special someone can wear these costumes to show everyone how perfectly you go together! Or, you can wear them to an electrician’s convention and see how many awkward looks you can get from people. If that sounds like fun, then you two really are made for each other!

Oreo Cookie Couples Costume

Do you two finish each other’s. . . sandwiches? When you two split a piece of pie does one of you prefer the crust while the other loves the filling? It’s not often that the heart and the stomach align allowing the perfect snack pack to come together. If you’re looking for an edible take on the classic couples costume this Oreo ensemble won’t disappoint.

Cookies and cream have been a classic combo long before the Oreo. How beautiful that two chocolate cookies get to be together until the crunchy and delicious end. People have been craving that creamy crunch since we were living in caves. In fact, while some paleontologists have argued that the circle motif stands for the circle of life, many have hypothesized that cave drawings depicting a circle within a circle were rudimentary designs for the early Oreo.

Deviled Eggs

This is by far my favorite couples Halloween costume idea this year. I mean, who doesn’t love eggs? There are so many ways to eat your eggs; fried, poached, hard-boiled, scrambled, sunny side up, and… DEVILED! A devil costume and this egg are sure to give you one of the punniest costumes at the party. Just don’t forget, everyone also loves a good egg pun, so don’t be shy to use this as an opportunity to crack a few yolks.

Gru and Minion Couples Costumes

As we found out with the smash hit Minions, the little yellow guys of Despicable Me fame have served many masters over the years. But we still think they work best with Gru! Pair this Minion costume and Gru costume together, and you’ll be a pair of truly despicable characters for your couples theme. In fact, you’ll probably be ready to pull off a major heist at your big Halloween get-together, or attend a ballet recital.

  Famous Couple Halloween Costume Ideas

There are famous couples throughout history, why not celebrate them this Halloween. From bad guys to good guys to real life couples, there are plenty of choices in our famous couples Halloween costume ideas.

Joker and Harley Quinn

Two of Gotham’s famous villains, Harley Quinn and the Joker, have a relationship based on love or, uh… insanity! If you are in the mood for causing a little trouble or making people squirm with a truly demented sense of humor, then this pair of Batman villains might be perfect couples look for you. With these authentic DC Comics inspired costumes, you’ll be ready to go toe to toe with the Bat… but just a little bit of advice, you might want to be prepared to get locked up in Arkham Asylum afterwards! These costume choices running the gamut from scary to sexy, we’ve got a Joker look and a Harley look that are sure to let you put your style stamp on this Gotham City couple.

Captain America and the Black Widow

The Marvel Cinematic Universe film series is still churning out movie after movie of fast paced Avengers action. I think any pair of Avengers costumes would be a great fit for a heroic minded couple, but Captain America and the Black Widow are definitely the male/female couple that would kick the most party butt! We also have female versions of the Iron Man and Captain America costumes, so any woman can be the superhero of her choosing. Coordinate your Marvel look with your costume partner, and get ready to help save the world!

Superman and Wonder Woman

Officially, Wonder Woman and Superman are just “really good friends,” but they are a fan favorite couple nevertheless. We sure think that makes it pretty hard to resist a night in the shoes of the Amazing Amazonian and the Man of Steel! Hit the town as this superhuman power couple, and you won’t even need the rest of Justice League to help save the day. Coordinate one of our fantastic Wonder Woman looks with any of our authentic Superman costumes for a great time. (Just don’t forget your golden lasso!)

Dottie Hinson and Coach Jimmy Dugan

“You’re gonna lose, you’re gonna lose!” Not with these costumes! Our authentic League of Their Own costumes will give you the perfect combination of classic, fun, and nostalgia. You can be Coach Jimmy Dugan and Dottie Hinson for the working couple that’s always butting heads, or coordinate Dottie and her sister Kit Keller for a same sex costume duo. Just accessorize your costume looks with a pair of gloves, and you’ll be ready to hit the field or locker room. Just remember, “There’s no crying in baseball!” OR at Halloween parties.

Forrest Gump and Jenny

Forrest Gump may not be the smartest man, but he is very wise (especially when he decided to invest in Apple in the 80s). Ever since he and Jenny were little kids he knew they belonged together. The exclusive Forrest Gump costume pairs perfectly with any of these hippie costume to recreate the characters from the classic film. Because if there’s one thing we know about Forrest and Jenny? They go together like “shrimp and grits.” And that’s all we have to say about that.

Captain Morgan and Coke

Okay maybe not a famous couple, but the definately go great together. It’s one of the most popular cocktails, the classic Captain and Coke, and it can make its appearance in more than one way on Halloween night. Pick up a Captain Hook costume and transform the look into Captain Morgan himself. When paired with this Coke bottle costume, you’re sure to have the best couples Halloween costume at the party. (Bonus points if you can figure out how to lug that barrel around all night lol.) Cheers, mate!

Bonnie and Clyde

Grab your pair of Tommyguns and you might just become the new Bonnie and Clyde! Hopefully not really though… it’s just pretend! You know you’d love to hop into a time machine and head back to the roaring 20s, but the next best thing is going in one of our fantastic Gangster and Flapper couple’s looks! There is a wide selection of flapper costumes on the web, so you’ll be able to pick out a style, cut, and color that will complement your gangster guy perfectly.

Captain Hook and Tinkerbell

For a fun look why not go as the delightfully wicked Captain Hook and the effervescent Tinkerbell as your couples costume combo! You can play these classic characters like they appeared in Disney animated films or even in live action films like Hook and Pan. These two are usually adversaries, but we’re sure any couple will have a delightfully magical time. Have a little one you will be dragging along, they can be your little crock! Pixie dust unfortunately is not included.

Mario and Luigi

I’m a child of the 80s and a huge Super Mario Brother fan. So this duo may not be a couple, but definitely are an iconic pair.  With female versions of both Luigi and Mario, you can choose which character you want to be, and make your date the other half of this dynamic duo. You might not get a chance to transport to the Mushroom Kingdom from your party, but we recommend being ready for Koopas and Goombas to try and crash the scene anyways! If nothing else you’ll have fun humming the theme song all night long. Doo doo doo.

BamBam and Pebbles

The Flintstones are all grown up now, go as Pebbles and Bamm Bamm. Perhaps you know them from the old cartoon, or perhaps you know them better as those weirdly addicting chewable vitamins, but either way you know they are a classic! As young adult versions of these classic animated characters, you’ll finally be able to get the modern stone age family out of Bedrock and find yourself a proper place to party. Yabba-dabba-doo!

Where’s Waldo?

“Where’s Waldo?” Well there are two of them over there, and I’ve never seen stripes look so good! Consider going as one of the most popular looks when you coordinate a Waldo and Wenda costume together. We have to imagine Waldo gets pretty lonely out in the crowd. So we’re sure he’ll be glad to have his girlfriend Wenda along. You can pick one of these Where’s Waldo costume options for men and women to make sure your couple’s look is spot on.

Other Great Couples Halloween Costume Ideas

Couple costumes are so much fun, but you don’t to be a famous couple to winner the contest. Something clever like zombies, egyptians or characters from the same movie can also be a hit pair. So explore some more of this moms couples Halloween costume ideas and find something you both will love.

Zombie Couple Costumes

Fan of AMC’s The Walking Dead? Pick your favorite zombi and embrace your inner killer. What better time than the present to go as zombies for your couple’s costume? You can be a lovelorn pair of the undead, destined to spend the rest of their reanimated days together in search of fresh flesh. Mmmmmmm. Coordinate any of these zombie looks with your partner to create a couple’s look that’s simply to die for. Just be on the lookout for a crossbow wielding biker dude or a certain sheriff!

Renaissance Themed Costumes

With hit shows like Game of Thrones and Vikings, Renaissance themed costumes are at an all-time height of popularity. Except maybe back when they weren’t even a costume and people dressed like that every day! Whether you prefer fire and ice, or the sharp blade of an axe, there are tons of Renaissance themed costumes that will be the perfect fit. Head to the Ren Fest and have some mead, because whichever costume look you choose, it’s sure to be just downright medieval! Pair up as a warrior and a shield maiden, a king and a princess, or even as just a pair of twisted court jesters.

Greek Themed Costumes

With Greek men’s and women’s costumes, you can be a pair of wise philosophers, Spartan warriors, or even gods like Zeus and Hera! Classical Greece is responsible for many of the foundations of Western Culture. So what better way to do a throwback look than by going way, way back!  With robe based tunics and togas, these are some of the most comfortable costume looks to wear, and I love to be comfy. And you have to admit, it’s pretty fun to spend your night being worshiped as a god! Just bring plenty of grapes to feed each other.

Egyptian Couple

There are a variety of goddess, pharaoh, and even mummy costumes, so you can choose your Egyptian historical pair of choice for your couples theme. These blast from-the-past looks are sure to have you feeling like historic royalty! What better way to command respect at a party than by making a grand entrance as Cleopatra and a pharaoh. Rule the Nile as some of the top historical figures when you coordinate an Egyptian look for your costume duo.

Perfectly Accessorize Your Couples Halloween Costume Ideas

Don’t forget to pair up these great costumes with great accessories. The right Halloween costume makeup can make or break a costume, and costume contest. From clowns to zombie, you’ll want to finish the outfit off right.

If you are really looking to get the perfect look and win your couples Halloween costume contest, then every little detail matters. Contacts can really finish your look. The mummy eyes, witch eyes, even web eyes can really complete your scary look.

Other Halloween Costume Ideas

If you are still looking for inspiration past our couples Halloween costume ideas, check out some of our other Halloween ideas. This mom covers everything from costumes to planning the perfect Halloween party.

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Top 29 Easy Scary Halloween Costumes to Scare Your Socks Off

Halloween Food Ideas: 18 of the Spookiest Treats and Drinks

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