#i think we all can do a bit better in providing fellow writers with the necessary motivation and encouragement to keep their lil spark alive
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pxgeturner · 1 year ago
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we share our work so that others can enjoy it. don’t forget to let us know your thoughts. some nice comments really do make SO much of a difference.
Yall need to interact with fanfiction author's more.
So. After the ao3 strike.
I was encouraged to write more comments and make my love known to fanfic writers.
I dont really like commenting. Because im a bit shy and soooo lazy.
Now though. I am writing more comments. And dude. This is so heartwarming. Ya'll need to treat writers better. They are doing the lord's work.
Take for an example, couple of days prior, i was searching for something interesting to read, and found an oneshot quite compelling.
I read it. At the end of it, i was blown away by how good it was. It promised me something and it went beyond my expectations. But then i saw a crime, zero fucking comments!
At that moment, i wasn't feeling up to writing a comment. Because, normally i like to write huge paragraphs. But because im lazy i decided to be brief.
Next day, the author answered that the comment lift their mood for the whole day.
That warmed my heart.
Duuuuuuuude! Write comments! Suport the writers of the fics you like! No need to be something super elaborate. Just give your thoughts. Freak out. Ramble. Ask something. Make theories. Compliment. Make a joke about how you wished to give kudos every chapter but ao3 sucks(not true bby) and won't let you.
Truly. Just. Comment. It can make someone's day. And that is part of the apeal of writing fics. Interacting with people.
Just give love to fanfic writers yall. They deserve this and so much more.
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saintsenara · 5 months ago
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In Marauder era (or 1st Wizarding World era) fics, all the characters that we know from the actual books/movies (i.e., The Marauders + Lily, the Malfoys, Bellatrix, etc.), or just characters that are more known, are all put in Hogwarts together at the same time, and it confuses me.
They couldn’t have all been at school together, could they? And even if they were, most of them would have to be years ahead, no? It especially confuses me when Bellatrix is the one in school with them, but her and Narcissa are the only ones that are ever mentioned. Andromeda is literally not that much younger than Bella and older than Narcissa, so you would think that she would appear, yet she doesn’t. Why exactly are they always all bunched together? And what are their actual ages?
this is a bit of worldbuilding which i'm not fond of either, anon.
i get why it happens - hogwarts is a school and, therefore, requires a large cast of characters as fellow students, and since marauders-era writers don't have the advantage that lightning gen writers do of being able to lift these characters directly from the text, the few names we do know from canon of people who lived and died during the first war get used to fill in the gaps.
there are also - obviously - some inconsistencies in the text itself caused by jkr's functional innumeracy. if we take the date of birth given for bellatrix on the black family tree she drew in 2006 - 1951 - then she would graduate hogwarts in either 1969 or 1970, depending on when in the year her birthday is. but sirius says in goblet of fire that she was friends with snape at school.
i ignore sirius and go with the given date of birth because it works better for my worldbuilding - and i have andromeda born in 1953 [leaving hogwarts in 1971 or 1972] and narcissa born in 1955, as per the family tree, but in the autumn [therefore leaving hogwarts in 1974 - and married in 1975, allowing narcissa's wedding to be the last time sirius sees bellatrix, since, as he tells us in order of the phoenix, this took place when he was fifteen] - but i think authors can shift the sisters' birthdays later if they do want to have them overlap more with the marauders generation without it being too much of a problem.
lucius malfoy's date of birth can be worked out fairly easily from canon. in the autumn of 1995, he's forty-one - as we're told in order of the phoenix - which means he was born in 1954 [or - if he has a winter birthday - late 1953] and was at hogwarts between either 1965-1972 or 1966-1973 depending on when in the year his exact birthday is - if it's october 1953-august 1954, he's in the former cohort; if it's september 1954 [which is when the article in which his age is mentioned is published] then he's in the latter. we know he overlaps with the marauders cohort very briefly - since he's shown meeting snape in the prince's tale - but, since he's either a sixth- or seventh-year at the time, i find it unlikely that he paid james and sirius much attention, or that they paid him much attention in turn.
[lucius must - let's be real - go rather under the radar, since he's clearly able to recruit death eaters while at school - and immediately after leaving it - without being noticed.]
what i'm much less inclined to be flexible on is the fanon which has characters like dorcas meadowes, marlene mckinnon, emmeline vance, and so on all be at hogwarts with the marauders - which doesn't work for me for the very basic reason that the order of the phoenix is not an army of child soldiers.
the implication of canon is definitely that the four marauders and lily are an exception to the make-up of the rest of the order - likely for the sensible tactical reason that dumbledore had all the ministry infiltrators he needed, but didn't have people who would be able to provide information about voldemort's recruitment of younger death eaters, which the marauders were clearly able to do by virtue of having been at school with them all [and - in sirius' case - being related to two of them].
it's also clear in the text that dorcas meadowes [who is the only person in the first war other than james and lily we know was killed by voldemort himself] must have been an important political figure - otherwise the dark lord would have left her for one of his minions - and that james and lily don't know marlene mckinnon well enough for her to have been a school friend.
[if she was - as is the common fanon - sirius' teenage girlfriend, i would like to hope that lily's letter to him mentioning her death would devote a little more space to the event than it canonically does...]
what i love to see is the rest of the order - hardened aurors and civil servants who've been locked into the war with voldemort since the marauders started school - being a combination of faintly amused and supremely irritated by the group of cocky young bastards who've just turned up at their meetings, and who seem to think the whole "being a paramilitary" thing is a big laugh.
[especially because it's then so much easier to explain why everyone involved could believe that sirius was guilty...]
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antianakin · 1 year ago
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I find it really interesting that you don’t like kallus at all bc say what you will about fulcrum or kalluzeb but he’s the first ex-/imperial character that we saw on screen who wasn’t already defected when we met him. Like obvs you’ve got Han and Sabine who started off in the academy and then left bc they realised in wasn’t what they wanted and tala who’s already a mole for the path by the time she’s on screen but most other characters we interact with regularly and significantly either stay imperial or have never been one as far as we know. And I think that watching kallus’ arc play out as he realises that no the empire isn’t worth it actually and it is worse and the rebels he’s fighting and trying to capture are better and are the good guys is just so fascinating to watch. If anakin’s arc in tcw and the prequels is about him getting worse and worse and making all the wrong choices again and again then kallus’s overarching storyline is about learning that actually his choices were wrong and he is the villain and he needs to accept that and try to do better as best he can. Ymmv on how well it was executed (and I do think there are parts that could have been done so much better) but the bare bones are there (and also I do love the interactions he has with kanan and Ezra post defection pre extraction where they’re like “this guy 😤” and are doing things like throwing him through glass screens to cover for him bc hey! They’re helping and they get to be a bit petty about it bc they still don’t like him and he just. Has to put up with it bc he’s on their side now and they are technically helping him)
I don’t know I just think it’s a pretty interesting arc to follow and I do think that however clumsily handled (again ymmv on how clumsily), the idea in his character of “it’s not too late to change and to choose to do better, you can unlearn your prejudice and biases and you can always start trying to do good no matter who you are” is a really important message that feels like Star Wars yk
(Side note: I just wanted to add that I love the anakin salt and the pro Jedi posts. I always pop around your blog when I’ve seen a few too many “he’s misunderstood” takes for my own good and it’s really cathartic to see someone else point out he sucks in new ways I hadn’t yet considered. I also find your Ahsoka takes super interesting bc most other things I see either just straight up do not like her or think she’s perfect where I always fell in the middle of “she’s interesting and narratively seems to be there to point out how anakin could have been if he’d made different choices since their flaws are so similar” ❤️❤️❤️)
This probably should have been split into two asks but I’ve written it all out now and my break is over so I guess it’s going to be one
Hi! I'm glad my blog helps provide you an area to just feel a little bitter sometimes when fandom gets hard, that's exactly why I made it for myself, just an escape when I'm starting to forget why I like this stuff sometimes and I just need to get rid of some of the bitterness.
I'm not against the IDEA of an Imperial character who turns against the Empire, of watching an Imperial character start to learn better and change sides. I promise I'm not!
I just think it shouldn't have been Kallus. I don't personally believe that they had a redemption arc in mind for Kallus when they were writing him in the first season at all. I don't know when the idea first got brought up for the writers, but it doesn't really seem to be one they had in mind in early season 2, either, so it just comes out of NOWHERE in that episode with Zeb where they get stuck in the ice. And the side effect of this lack of set up means that they really were writing Kallus as an irredeemable villain. He led a genocide against Zeb's people, he laughs at Zeb about being a survivor, he uses one of the Lasat's weapons as a trophy he took from that genocide. He turns against one of his own fellow officers at the end of season 1/beginning of season 2 when Tarkin and Vader show up and want someone to answer for their failure on Lothal. He helps lead Tua to her death and SMILES about the whole thing. Tua's death could've been a way to begin that journey, give him a crack in the wall where he feels doubt about what they're doing, but it DOESN'T, it just makes him MORE of a fanatic.
So when you get to that episode with Zeb in the ice, all of the sudden you have to take Kallus at his word that he DIDN'T lead the genocide he's already been saying he led, that he DIDN'T steal the Lasat weapon he already said he stole, that he totally had a sorta sympathetic reason for wanting an entire group of people eliminated from the galaxy, and that he apparently cares about having friends in the Empire. This isn't just a retcon of his backstory, it's a retcon of his CHARACTER. And they have to "all lives matter" the entire situation to do it by having him point out that Zeb judges all Imperials the same (and sees them all as enemies) which is somehow equivalent to Kallus judging an entire SPECIES for the actions of ONE PERSON and choosing to go genocide the entire species as a result. That's not just clumsy, that's OFFENSIVE. This is one of the WORST written episodes of Star Wars I have ever seen, which is saying something since I've seen the Ahsoka show and the Book of Boba Fett and The Mandalorian Season 3.
I think my major issue with Kallus's "arc", beyond the offensiveness of the retcon of his entire character, is that it isn't really an arc at all. It's ONE episode. The next time we even SEE Kallus, he's already willing to help Sabine escape from the Empire and then season 3 goes on to basically tell us he's been acting as a spy most of the season now. We DON'T actually get to see that arc for Kallus, he spends a few hours in the ice with Zeb and that's all it takes to turn him against the Empire really. The few times he shows up in-between don't do a lot to really emphasize a JOURNEY he's going on, he's just already on the side of the rebels and trying to push back against the Empire. And he fucking SUCKS at it, too. They have to come rescue his ass TWICE because he wasn't good enough at being a spy to not get caught and then he has the fucking GALL to think he's thrown off Thrawn and refuses to run when Kanan and Ezra risk their necks to save him which is what directly leads to Chopper Base being discovered. So not only is his redemption "arc" barely there anyway, he's an awful rebel and an awful spy.
This is why I keep arguing that it should've been PRYCE to be the Imperial defector. She isn't introduced to the story until season 3, and so her character is basically a big blank slate. They'd MENTIONED her, but all we knew is that she was the governor of the planet or something and she was gone on Coruscant dealing with stuff. This and the fact that she has an ACTUAL connection to Lothal by being FROM THE PLANET gives her a really really excellent pathway towards turning on the Empire. Maybe she sided with the Empire because she genuinely believed it would help save them from what everyone else suffered by fighting back. Maybe she was promised certain advantages if she sided with the Empire that they could show haven't been kept. Let her CARE about Lothal and its people just enough for her to have a REASON to turn against the Empire and see its truth.
It's one of the other reasons I don't like using Kallus, he's not really emotionally connected to any character but Zeb. Turning Kallus does very little for the main characters Ezra and Kanan. If they were going to turn an Imperial character, which IS a fairly big thing to put into a narrative, I feel like it should've impacted the MAIN characters far more than it actually does. Let Ezra, the person whose story is being told here, be a part of the reason that Imperial character turns. Let that journey away from the Empire be something they're actively WORKING on rather than something that primarily happens off screen in Kallus's head.
I think the only reason they chose Kallus for this was because fans already liked him and they couldn't figure out what else to do with him at this point. He's a basically ineffective villain because he keeps having to lose and the only times he "wins" against the crew is when they LET him win by sacrificing themselves or something. And they were already starting to write him out as an antagonist by including Vader, Tarkin, the Inquisitors, and they might've known they were bringing in Thrawn in season 3 (and maybe that Pryce would finally show up) by the time that ice episode was being written. Kallus was becoming irrelevant, but fans enjoyed him so they had to figure out a way to make him relevant moving forward, and so, quick and dirty redemption "arc" so he can move to the rebel side. You'll notice he barely does anything in season 4, though, once he's moved to the rebellion he's just kinda... there. Irrelevant again because he's not actually good enough at anything to be worth having him DO anything important or interesting to the plot.
A LOT of people seem to think Kallus's "redemption" was really well done and I just can't agree. I think it would've been better to take Kallus a different direction, to really have him just succumb to being evil, to become even MORE of a fanatic for the Empire moving forward, and then just pick someone else to be the defected Imperial character. Or they should've had a redemption arc in mind for Kallus from the beginning. Using Tua's death to start the process of doubt in his mind, or having him be the one the Empire turns on would've both worked. They didn't give themselves enough time to really write him a good redemption arc where the reasons for why he turns on the Empire actually feel in character to what we've been told and shown of him so far.
I think if you just... start in season 3 and act like Kallus has HAD a true redemption arc already by season 3, then those scenes work. The humor of the Rebels crew starting to discover Kallus is on their side now and not entirely trusting that and wanting to punt him through a window IS funny! I, too, would like to throw Kallus through a window several times, even perhaps over a cliff or out an airlock. But those scenes come with the context of having seen the first two seasons and feeling the VERY abrupt 180 his character took without the show doing any of the actual work to make his defection seem realistic or reasonable. Season 3 is fine for Kallus, the scenes are funny, etc. But he wasn't actually redeemed yet and neither season 2 nor season 3 do the work to showcase that journey.
And I think that this is likely one of the reasons we DON'T see very many Imperial redemption stories and most of the Imperial defectors we see are already defected when we meet them. You can count Gorn and Taramyn from Andor in this category, as well. It's HARD to take a character who's been set up as violent, selfish, and cruel, and REALLY do the work necessary to turn them around into someone who would genuinely turn on the Empire and join the Rebellion. It's by no means impossible, but it takes a lot of work and a lot of focus on said character. Most of these shows and stories aren't willing to put in that kind of work because they're focusing on someone else who needs their story told instead, so it's easier to just... have someone who's already changed sides.
All of that being said, there IS a character who we've seen go through this arc that I think was done MILES better than Kallus.
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Reva Sevander. An Inquisitor (possibly BY CHOICE unlike all of the others who were presumably captured and broken into it) working for the Empire, who DOES do violent and selfish stuff, but who ultimately leaves that behind by the end of the season. Reva, who obviously was written with that turn in mind, and so her tragedy is BAKED into her character from the moment the show begins (we literally start the ENTIRE SHOW with a flashback of Reva at the Temple when Order 66 starts, and the terror of that night). The twist in her character, that she's doing all of this as a way to get closer to Anakin so she can kill him as vengeance for the Jedi, doesn't feel like it comes out of nowhere. It's just always been there FROM THE BEGINNING. Making her an Inquisitor, something Jedi: Fallen Order and some comic books have fleshed out into people who weren't given much choice in becoming monsters, was an expert choice. Using her to parallel and foil Anakin, someone whose primary storyline is that he was a GOOD person who turned bad and still had good in him, also helps her out.
I'd argue Reva hasn't gone on a full "redemption arc" as yet, she's sort-of barely scratched the surface of it, but she does obviously make the choice to STOP going down the path she's on, to turn away from her anger and vengeance, and leaves behind being an Inquisitor and the darkness she'd succumbed to. The reasons for why she does the things she does MAKE SENSE, they're narratively relevant, they're important to the main character of the story she's in, and the writers didn't wait too long to tell us more about her and her motivations. It's expertly done in my opinion.
So while Kallus might have been the first Imperial defector to show up in mainstream Star Wars, he is not the ONLY Imperial character we have seen to turn against the Empire. And yet Kallus gets praise and accolades for being such a great character with such a great character arc, while Reva got panned and critiqued for being unlikable. I wonder what could be the reason behind that.
So I think you and I have fairly similar feelings on this in that the IDEA of a redeemed Imperial character whose journey towards turning on the Empire is actually shown is a GOOD story to tell (with a very Star Wars style message, as you say), but that the way it was done with Kallus was REALLY badly written. You seem to be leaning towards liking the concept enough that the clumsiness of it is outweighed, whereas I hate the clumsy way it was written so much that my positive feelings towards the concept are outweighed.
And I deserve a good Reva show where we get to follow more of her character post-OWK where she still has to work on herself and figure out who she is now that she's left the darkness behind. Finish the arc she's only just started on.
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mindibindi · 1 year ago
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hey! sorry for bothering you, but i as a fellow x-phile i would like to ask how credible it is that gillian anderson and david duchovny hated each other back in the day? there are probably quotes or something but i can't really judge anything this late after the fact. i did watch the show when it aired but i was too young to get into internet culture. anyway, i'm hoping for some wisdom from fans who remember this. :) thank you!
Hey Anon,
It’s no bother and thanks for the ask. And actually, after the fact is a good position from which to view this matter since, as we all now know, Gillovny’s story has a happy ending. I was around for the original run too but internet culture was very different then. Not everyone was constantly online, I certainly wasn’t. The internet was expensive and hard to access so I got a couple of hours per week tops, which I mostly used to read fanfic. (Fanfic for this show/ship was basically my fanfic writer origin story: I was like WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO THIS TOO???!!! And btw: readers complain these days about the pressure to respond to fanfic. Back in the day, you had to compose a whole fricking email if you wanted to badger your fave author for more. And there was certainly no easy kudos button option to make you feel like you’d done your bit to encourage community. Anyway.)
There were fan sites, message boards and lots of different fanfic archives. And sure, there was some gossip but it still mostly came via old print media. Pre-social-media, there wasn’t a direct line to celebrities or any great expectation placed on them interact with fans in regular, intimate ways. The advent of social media has created these parasocial relationships in which (some) fans think they know or have a right to far more than they do. Back in the day, and istg this is true, I posted a picture of DD with Blue in the surf on some now defunct message board. The moderators removed it and v kindly said: nope, against our guidelines, no images of private moments taken without the person’s consent. I mean…. talk about boundaries! My baby fangirl ass was properly chastised and learnt a valuable lesson. I think we can learn a thing or two from early internet culture and original fans, some of which are still knocking about this site.
Anyway, all of this is to say, I don’t have any special insight here. The only people who know in any great detail what truly went on in DD and GA’s relationship is them, and maybe a few people in their immediate vicinity. But XF fans are lucky enough to stan two very honest, emotionally thoughtful people who have shared with us some of the challenges they faced during the show’s original run. And, for better or worse, when people tell you who they are, I tend to believe them. Yes, there are other fans that can probably provide you with quotes and timelines and (wild) speculation, but I think I know enough to give a fairly objective opinion on what I think actually occurred. For me, the most pertinent quote here is Gillian’s characterisation of their relationship as being like “a forced marriage”. I take this to mean that, like any marriage, there was great intimacy, respect, cooperation and commitment. Maybe even love. But there was also a lack of choice that caused tension, despite multiple positive relational elements.
“Tension” is a word that has also been applied to their late-90s relationship and I think it’s probably more accurate. I don’t think they HATE hated each other. But I think they probably had fleeting moments of feeling: OMG this person is getting on my last sane nerve, I cannot stand to be around them another fricking second. I think the protracted and concentrated intimacy of their circumstances gave rise to SOME super understandable negative feelings that ultimately, did not define the true nature of their relationship, either then or now. I don’t think those feelings were all there was, even back then. I don’t think these two were epic lovers any more than they were bitter enemies. I think they were just two human beings attempting to function under super intense scrutiny and an extremely gruelling work schedule. And that at times resulted in tension or irritation which they found ways around. Talking to each other only as Mulder and Scully may sound terrible to some but I think it’s a rather ingenious way to conserve their energy for their jobs. It shows an incredible commitment to their characters, to the show and to the contribution the other was bringing to that celebrated dynamic. They knew it was important so that's where they focused.
We have all had times in relationships where we’ve needed some space, even from someone we like, love, respect and value. If anyone was struggling to understand this dynamic between DD and GA then recent experiences of lockdown should have provided some insight into this kind of intense forced intimacy. Now, I have never been married but I’ve lived with people and that experience will make you loathe how a person walks, breathes, sleeps, eats, does the smallest, most insignificant things. It’s not the permanent state of your relationship. It’s just a passing reaction. It does not matter how much you might like or appreciate this person. In one bright flash, they become the most infuriating person to ever walk the planet. Then you go into another room or go to work and the feeling fades. But what happens when you can’t get away, you actually can’t get the sort of space a healthy relationship needs? We all saw how lockdown increased the pressure on all relationships, especially partnerships and marriages. There was pressure within and without and people reacted naturally to profoundly unnatural circumstances. That’s all that happened here.
Now, it must be pointed out that even during periods of the original run when their relationship was supposedly suffering, there is footage of them having fun on-set and ruining takes by making out. This supports the idea that any “hate” was an understandable but impermanent reaction for both. Actually, I think it is highly admirable that they were able to collaborate together and remain individually sane while experiencing such relational tension. It shows incredible personal fortitude and professional commitment. They stayed focused and pragmatic and, to me, there is never any indication that their personal struggles impacted the final product. In fact, I believe they actually enhanced Mulder and Scully’s relationship in those middle years of the original run when they too were experiencing some growing pains in their relationship. I’m thinking of the raw emotion in that end scene of “Elegy” and the palpable impatience and antagonism in “Gethsemane”. I’m thinking of the division and sadness in the hospital scene in “The Red and the Black” and throughout “The End”. Like Mulder and Scully, David and Gillian have some fundamental similarities and some very distinct differences. For the first few years of the series they were living very different lives. It took them time to attune to each other, just as it took Mulder and Scully time to fully absorb the many intricate dimensions of their relationship. As DD and GA grew older, their lives became more similar and their understanding of each other likewise grew. And honestly, I think it’s somewhat hypocritical and inhuman to appreciate the many complex beats of the M/S relationship as it plays out on-screen, but then judge their real-life counterparts as they tread an equally complex path towards true understanding, appreciation and love.
I haven’t watched TXF in years and in my recent rewatch, I was surprised actually at just how combative this relationship could be. I had only remembered all the sweet, shippy bits! But (and I should not really have to point this out) that's also what is so compelling to watch. The conflict. The contrast. The difference (not just in height, although their physical difference does act as a powerful symbol of their mismatched but ultimately complementary dynamic). The difference and yes, even at times tension, between David and Gillian only adds to a dynamic that so many have tried and failed to emulate (RIP to any reboot of this show. This show IS DD and GA’s chemistry. End of.). I can’t be mad or disappointed about Gillovny’s 90s tension, so carefully navigated by both actors, because fuck me does it work for the MSR angst! D’you think we’d have so many delicious angsty fanfics if these two had been sunshine-y, tension-less best buds every step of the way?? Not only is some tension an understandable human reaction that I believe they have every right to, it adds dimension to an epically URSTy relationship that could have gotten boring (and kinda did towards the end, let's be real). There is an added, honest, brave truth to the moments of impatience, frustration, disagreement and division in the M/S relationship because DD and GA experienced these things themselves in the context of their equally intense working relationship. I think the actors continued to mine their own tension and express it through Mulder and Scully, which again is a super creative and healthy way to protect their working relationship and serve the M/S relationship. A relationship in which they were invested, but also a relationship that was central to the show and important to so many fans.
In time, the more intense M/S moments lost their bite. The relationship became softer, less combative, more appreciative. The LA move decreased the actor’s isolation and gave the show a new tone. Gillian is on record saying how strange it was for her when David disappeared in later seasons. And we all know the story of the 10 min post-"Existence" embrace (if you don’t let me know). So this story has a neat and satisfying ending even if Mulder and Scully never really got theirs. As evidenced by the second movie and reboot, nothing was destroyed. The chemistry remains (even if it’s not served by quality plot, development, context and characterisation). These human beings and artists did their best under difficult circumstances. They protected the work, the characters and their relationship. In fact, I would venture to suggest that the wild appreciation they show for each other now, the enduring chemistry we see on-screen and the palpable enjoyment they feel at the other’s presence any time they get the opportunity to reunite is in part due to how they navigated their early years as mismatched colleagues thrown together and expected to work closely under immense pressure. Thanks to David and Gillian, hate never took root. And now, in DD’s words, all that’s left is the heart.
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magnoliabutters · 2 years ago
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who art thou?
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• who the hell are you •
my name is katrina (she/her), nice to meet yah! i am a pansexual queen, welcoming to all my fellow lgbtqia+ babies. i hope to create fanfics for a variety of readers! currently, i am obsessed with my mans, eddie munson. i like to write smut&fluff balanced series, but may send out the occasional smut post to keep things interesting! i also am a big fan of action so i tend to include that in there with my fluff&smut if the universe permits.
i write 18+ content. please do not interact if you are a minor. seriously. not for you. also please don’t plagiarize, it wasn’t cool in school and it isn’t now. i am open to your feedback and would love to hear your thoughts on my writing! promise you won’t get sass if feedback comes with pure intentions 😈 i'm hoping to improve my writing when it comes to describing the scene and making you feel as though you are truly within the story! i want to provide you with an opportunity to escape real life, if you happen to need a quick break. i may include some resources in posts to better support this concept (e.g., playlists). my writing usually has a word count between ~1-10k, but there may be some outliers.
also also, i am always looking for mutuals and more writers to interact with! please feel free to hit me up in the chats <3 i’d love to get to know you! also also, i try my hardest to read other posts out there and give feedback reblogs. i’ll be honest after a day of work, reading past 2k is rough but give me a follow if you want some recs 💖
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• when and why do you write •
i am still working to consistently post weekly. lately, I’ve been getting hit hard with a writing bug and then my brain is dormant for like 2 weeks. anything i write during that time is literal poo-poo on fire. hopefully it doesn’t last haha updates and recent posts can be found on my nav page. i will update when i’m writing a post and when i plan to post ✨
if any of my posts suit your fancy, please reblog, comment, message, or anon request that you want a part two. if y’all want it, i’ll write it. like literally i will have like next to no likes on a post and if someone asks for a part two, hoe you getting it. 🫂 also, a “small” bit of why i write is to get some hoes horny. that is a huge compliment for me and like lmk. anyways, i like to lean more into the “smut or porn?” type of writing too…
i am best supported by reblogs!  + comments really keep me encouraged to write 🥹 follows and likes are also much appreciated. i’m not uber comfy with tips but like if the thought pops in your head, and then you take like a day to think about it, and it’s still there, and then you take one more day after that and it’s still there, then like here’s my cashapp 🫠 i
will continue writing as long as someone out there is reading 🥰 reading your comments and feedback gives me so much joy! but like not too rough of feedback cause i'll cry ☺️ also, taglists are awesome, but please feel free to let me know if you want to be taken off. no judgment here, i promise you. i understand not wanting to be notified constantly! 
oh! and here is my view on #tags. warning may not be a popular opinion 😬 in the first few days of a post, i will use whatever tags are needed to get your eyes to see it. i work really hard on my writing and i want to make sure it’s seen. however, my posts always include the appropriate pairing right at the top so you are more than welcomed to say “fuck this” if it doesn’t match the tag you were looking for. with that being said, once the hype goes down on a post, i will make sure to appropriately tag my pieces. also in the cases of my oc’s, i still consider the oc as the reader. we are all becoming the oc in my posts ♥️ time to escape to another universe!
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• what do you even write about •
i am looking into exploring characters and experiences within: (1) the tv universes of stranger things, the walking dead, the boys, buffy the vampire slayer, the l word, z nation, supernatural, true blood, game of thrones, house of dragons, shameless, etc. (2) the video game universes of left 4 dead 2, resident evil 6, the last of us: parts 1 & 2, dead by daylight, etc. & (3) the movie universe of the hunger games, top gun (rooster is very special to me), twilight, avatar (ma’jake 🤤), mcu, harry potter, etc.
i pretty much am hoping to write about whatever i am currently obsessed with haha as we all should. each series is written within their own universes, so some things might not match up. apologies in advance! also as some of these universes can be quite violent, i write a little violence but always disclose in the warning so check those out! i am starting to dip my toe into the ideas of requests. please feel free to send me your thoughts on what you'd like to read ✨
my reader povs will always be 18+ and consenting adults. we also support and promote safe sex here, despite the shenanigans that may be happening in my smut series 🤤 i explore different areas of mental health, but anxiety is a common theme amongst my series. i'm an anxiety queen so i am making us all queens. my warnings will also include any triggers associated with smuts, as well as mental health (i.e., trauma). i write my series to bring you nothing but happiness, so please check out the warnings before reading! also sometimes my smut my just be down right porn, so please do enjoy. that is my intent 😚
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• inspirations • 
tags to the authors who have left a lasting impact on me and my writing. these are my favorite posts from them so far! most of which either make me feel something (which is rare lol) or give me a writing bug. these are also the most wonderful humans who are willing to help my noobie ass. i encourage you to check them out as much as possible because if i’m over here tagging and reblogging, they must be fucking legit. send them my love.
✨ @theoreticslut • celebrate good times • eddie munson •
✨ @seidenbros​ • there’s no one like you • eddie munson • 
✨ @indouloureux • bloom later • steve harrington •
✨ @ghosttownwherenoonegoes​ • a look to open the skies • eddie munson •
✨ @fandomxpreferences​​ • macho man • bradley “rooster” bradshaw •
✨ @hellfirebabes​ • scream for me • eddie munson •
✨ @mcplestreet​ • bartering • eddie munson •
✨ @darkworkcourier • ghost request • simon “ghost” riley •
✨ @nackrosor • slutty feline jester • eddie munson •
✨ @sunflowersteves • another day, another dollar • bradley “rooster” bradshaw •
✨ @fairysluna • little wolf • aemond targaryen •
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• nav • requests open •
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doiedreams · 4 years ago
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Order Up ◈ z.cl
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brought to you by the Neo’clock Past and Future New Years event by @nct-writers
◈⇢ Synopsis: During a busy shift at the Neo Drive-In Diner, your crush from school, Zhong Chenle, and his popular group of friends pull up. They order food, as expected, but Chenle has another request for you.
◈⇢ Genre: Fluff, 1950s AU, high school AU, retro drive-in diner
◈⇢Pairing: High school crush!Chenle x Waitress!reader (fem)
◈⇢ Warnings: many mentions of food
PLEASE NOTE: Per usual with my fics, Tumblr duplicated a paragraph. Please don’t mind it :) thank you!
⇢ [EDIT: it deleted a paragraph too D: Tumblr, apologize >:(]
⇢ [EDIT: lmao nvm I fixed it ayee 😎]
◈⇢ WC: 1.6k words
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“Order up!”
Sighing at the call of yet another order, you adjust your pink roller skates before gliding over to the counter to collect the finished order from one of the cooks who’s clearly had a long shift, as you could tell from the tone of his voice. Through the noises of the busy kitchen with burgers grilling, french fries sizzling, and fellow carhop waitresses skating back and forth from inside the kitchen to the vehicles parked outside, you could still make out the lyrics to Elvis Presley’s Jailhouse Rock playing from the speakers.
“I sure would be delighted with your company,” you sing along, “Come on ‘n do the Jailhouse Rock with me.”
“Y/n! Hurry up already!” You jump at the sound of the head waitress’ voice, interrupting your mini sing-along. Straightening your posture, you say, “Yes ma’am.” 
Balancing two trays of food on your left arm, you read the written order in your right. Light blue Ford Thunderbird, 2 bacon cheeseburger meals, 2 strawberry milkshakes. You skate out the door, careful not to drop the trays of food, and pass by a row of cars until you see the light blue convertible the meals belonged to. Displaying your brightest smile and cheeriest voice, you stop at the side of the car and read, “Two bacon cheeseburger meals with a pair of strawberry milkshakes?”
The older couple in the vehicle nodded their heads. “That’s us,” the man in the driver’s seat stated. You pass over their meals and napkins, collect the money, and wish them a good meal before heading back into the kitchen.
It’s been a very busy shift, considering it’s a Saturday afternoon, and it’s definitely kept you on your toes. On days like this, you’re especially thankful for the swift and easy transportation you’re provided by the roller skates you and the other waitresses are ordered to wear with your uniform - a collared button-down top, a poodle skirt, and a half apron. And of course you can’t forget the perky little hat with your restaurant’s logo on it. The smell of the food, the laughter, the rock music playing on the radio, and the feel of the wind blowing by you on your skates as your skirt swayed in the wind - it all makes this job worthwhile.
Before you reach the doors to go back inside, a honking noise behind you stops you in your tracks. You turn toward the car pulling up in an empty spot and prepare to take their order. Hurriedly, you pat down your uniform trying to find your notepad tucked away somewhere in one of the pockets. Although distracted, you decide to waste no time and get right into your introduction while still searching for the notepad. “Hi there and thank you for stopping at Neo’s Drive-In Diner, the finest carhop service in-“
“Well if it isn't Y/N L/N.” You’re interrupted by the voice of one of the most popular boys at your high school.
Looking up, you meet the eyes of Lee Jeno, sitting in the passenger’s seat, and give him a polite smile. “That’s me. It’s good to see you, Jeno.”
“Hey.” Behind the wheel, and closest to you, sat Zhong Chenle, the boy you’ve been crushing on since you’ve met him. With his elbow propped up on the car door, he greets you with his charming smile.
“Hey,” you respond, smiling a little too hard. You turn towards the back of the car and wave at his other two friends, Jisung and Jaemin. The four of them, as well as a few other friends that complete their clique, are the most talked about kids in your high school. Although you don’t consider yourself popular at all, you have grown a bit of a friendship with Chenle, who you’ve just recently started growing comfortable speaking to on a regular basis. With your budding friendship with Chenle, you’ve also grown closer with his popular group of friends.
“Nice wheels,” Chenle complimented, pointing at your skates.
Flattered, you giggle and thank him. “And you too! What is that, a ‘57 Chevrolet Corvette?���
He raises his eyebrows. “Ah, so you know your cars, huh? Impressive.”
“I do see a whole lot of ‘em these days, ” you say, gesturing towards the several automobiles around you.
Flashing his incredibly attractive smile, Chenle beams at you, making you shyly look down at your skates while adjusting the collar of your uniform.
“Uh, yeah... enough of the flirting. This is my ride by the way. He’s just driving it ‘cause he begged me to let him,” Jeno laughs, ignoring Chenle’s hard glare. “He thinks he’s hip now since he got his license the other day.”
“Well, you look like you were made for the driver’s seat,” you wink at him, somehow hiding the shock you felt at the unexpected boost of confidence you just displayed. Raising the notepad you finally found in the waistband of your skirt, you ask, “What can I get you, boys?”
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“What’re you doing talking to those dreamboats over there?” your friend and coworker Molly says, nudging your side with her elbow as you both stood in the kitchen waiting for your next deliveries.
“Just... talking,” you say, eyeing her.
“Isn’t that Chenle and his crew?”
You turn to look out the window and see Chenle running his hand through his hair, checking himself out in the side view mirror of the car. He and his friends were singing along to the radio while waiting for their food. Something about Chenle in his varsity cardigan and slacks, sitting in the front seat of a shiny, red convertible was so attractive to you.
“Yup, that’s them.”
“When’re you gonna ask Chenle out?” she says with a smirk.
You turn towards her, wide-eyed. “What?! What makes you think I wanna ask him out?”
She shrugs and raises her hands in defense. “I dunno. It couldn’t possibly be because of the countless times you’ve been caught staring at him in geography class.” You glare at the evident sarcasm in her tone. “I mean, who wouldn’t want to ask out someone as dreamy as him.”
“Exactly. I’m sure someone already has and he’s not available for me to ask out anyways. Hell, he may even have a date later tonight.”
Molly rolls her eyes. “Whatever, y/n. I find that real hard to believe. He seems into you.”
You gape at her, unconvinced, and look back out the window where you met Chenle’s gaze. You quickly hide your face, wondering if he was really staring at you or looking for someone with their orders to speed up.
“Order up! Red Chevrolet Corvette. Four burger and fries combos. Four Coca-Colas.”
Molly pats your back and you take that as a cue to pick up their orders and deliver them. At the counter, you grab all four meals and shuttle them out to the car with ease. As you approach the car, the boys cheer, hoot, and holler at the arrival of their food, turning the heads of the customers in the surrounding vehicles.
“Alright, alright,” you laugh, as you begin to quiet them down, passing out the trays. As soon as they receive their meals, they begin digging in like animals, except for Chenle who was taking out his wallet to pay you.
“Here. Keep the change,” he says, placing the money in your hand as you feel a much heavier amount than expected. Before you can object to the extra pay, he says, “Oh, and I have something to ask you”, leaning closer to you from his seat, separating himself from the noise his friends were making.
“What’s up?”
“So, we’re planning on watching A Night To Remember at the drive-in cinema later tonight. If you want, we can pick you up after your shift and drive over there together. We might even go bowling after the movie. I mean, you don’t have to, of course. I know these guys can be a bit wild but Jeno’s bringing a date anyways and you wouldn’t even have to talk to the others if you don’t wanna-” He stops himself, noting the shocked expression on your face. “I’m sorry…”
“No! No, no need to be sorry for anything, I just- I- You want me to come with you?” you question.
“If it’s alright with you,” he says, with a hopeful look on his face. “I know taking a girl out on a date typically doesn’t involve rowdy friends, but uh-”
“A date? Chenle, I’d be glad to be your date under any circumstances,” you say, smiling widely at the offer.
“Really? Sweet! I’ll pick you up in a couple of hours.”
“Sounds good!”
You could hardly hide your excitement. You skate twice as fast back to the kitchen and almost forget you’re still on the job. As soon as you find Molly, you share the news of your date with Chenle and the both of you nearly squeal with delight before Molly is called to take another order. Turning around, watching her skate out the door, you make eye contact with Chenle who must have seen you freak out with Molly just seconds earlier.
You stand there staring at him, frozen and slightly embarrassed, and he stares back with his burger up to his mouth. After a few seconds of unbroken eye contact, he starts laughing. His laughter immediately brings a smile to your face and soon enough, you’re laughing with him through the window. His friends begin to wonder what he’s laughing at and why, and you see the expression on Chenle’s face shift once the boys start teasing him and laughing. Now that it’s his turn to be embarrassed, you find the exchange quite hilarious. Watching him made the grin on our face stretch from ear to ear.
“You better not be flirting with customers on the job, young lady.” The head waitress said from behind you, reeling you back into the present.
“Order up!”
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a/n: thank you for reading hehe :3
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seimeiorigin · 4 years ago
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It’s time to forget Yuzuru Hanyu
(written on 27th Feb)
I think my obsession with Yuzu is not healthy. I need to do something to stop obsessing over Yuzu and get back to my normal life. I thought I should write down what I am feeling to see if it helps me let go of him. And where better to leave these thoughts than in the care of people who feel the same way?(If you are a translator, feel free to sub this for non-English speaking Yuzu fans  )
I am a 50 year old Australian woman and as a long time fan of the art of figure skating I was usually only interested in watching the women. The last time I watched was during the era of  Tonya Harding,  Tara Lipinsky and Sureya Bonnely. I was a fan of Kurt Browning back then as my only favourite male skater.   
15 days ago I saw a random you tube video of Parisienne Walkway and was immediately struck by the power, grace, beauty and effort of Yuzuru. I had never seen anyone like him and I thought  that his performance was the best skate I had ever seen. Little did I know....In the last 15 days I have felt the need to see more of what he does and so have spent every free hour of my life watching Yuzu's performances, sometimes over and over as in the case of Seimei, P walkways and Masquerade.
I am obsessed with Yuzu and I deeply regret that I was not along for the ride of the last 10 years. I google for the latest Yuzu news everyday and when I find something written in the last week it is like finding a gold nugget! I have read many of the blogs about Yuzu (thank you blog writers), read the news articles, watched interviews and never have I felt the lack of a second language more keenly. A massive thanks to everybody who English subs Yuzu content. 
I think about him when i should be working. I stay up late watching videos and am so tired in the morning. I am trying to find places I can buy Yuzu merchandise but alas, there are no places here to do so. I look at my phone lock screen (Seimei) a hundred times a day just to remember that this man exists. Yuzu has taken over my life. 
What is it about Yuzu's skating that makes me want to watch again and again and again?The crosswalk in Seimei. Oh mi god. Such attitude. I have never seen attitude like this on the rink before. A challenge to all watching: "Do not mess with me!"I have watched the videos about the making of Seimei and am enamoured of how much work went into this program, right down to Yuzu recording his own breath to help with the timing of his opening movement. The full program is breathtaking. I love every single moment of every single aspect. After having watched the making of Seimei video i understand so much more about what I see on the ice - the spells he is casting as the character and how that translates into artistry. The speed. The effort. The more videos I watch about Yuzu the more times I watch Seimei.  For example, Yuzu says in one interview that  at Pyeongchang he was supposed to stay in character but was so happy at the last part of the program that he could not help smiling and feeling so happy and we saw that. Such an uplifting moment that makes me laugh every time. I think i have watched all available performances of Seimei that the music runs through my mind in my sleep. I have downloaded it on my phone and listen to it on the bus. 
Yuzu's costumes: oh. mi. god. They are beautiful works of art. Such beauty of colour, decoration, design and form. I feel things when I see the costumes. I covet the heaven and earth jacket. I want one of my own to wear. The way they fit Yuzu perfectly, showing off the his perfect form in all its beauty and strength. The way they create the mood for the performance makes many other skater's costumes pale in comparison. The detail that the costume designer includes and the fact that Yuzu himself participates and tells her what he wants makes it all the more special. I watch the performances time and again just to look at the costume details. 
Yuzu's sexuality on the ice is something I am in two minds about. My own son is 22 so not that much younger than Yuzu so I feel uncomfortable thinking of Yuzu that way. But I cannot help it when I watch PW or Let's go crazy or Let me entertain you. There is something so attractive about the way Yuzu's movements invite the audience to partake in a little bit of sauciness. This is in direct opposition to the fun and innocence of everyday Yuzu that I see backstage or during downtimes. It feels like a total contrast and perhaps it is for that exact reason why those movements are attractive. 
Yuzuvier: I have friends but none of my friendships are like that. I wish I could experience the relationship between the two of them. I am so glad they had each other and it makes me feel happy when I see the videos of them together...and sad to see where Javi told Yuzu that it was their last time competing together. I really hope they stay in touch and catch up when they can. 
Yuzu's University study: Wow, what a legacy to leave to the sport. Using his own skills and experience to explore ways to become more proficient and keep climbing those hills. I truly hope that his study has led him to a way to perfect the 4A and I am holding hope in my heart that he is the first one to do it. I also hope that the thesis will allow the sporting world to progress. 
Sportsmanship: Wow Yuzu. Just WOW. A beautiful person who shares joy, encourages others, provides support and is never a complainer. This is what all sporting people should aspire to be. The depth of integrity that this man has shines out of every pore of his being. 
Yuzu's work philosophy and dedication is just exhilarating. Always wanting to be better, climb that hill, be number one, try and try and try. Learn from mistakes, learn and learn and learn. I find myself going about my day now and asking myself "WWYHD" in this situation? (What Would Yuzuru Hanyu Do). I am thinking that if i can take one thing from Yuzu everyday it would make interactions with my fellow humans more enjoyable and pleasant. I truly admire Yuzu so much that I hope I can continue learning from Yuzu even when he is not skating anymore.
 Yuzu's philosophy of supporting all people including his own is admirable. Truly a remarkable attitude and philosophy to have in one so young. When I see this it makes me want to do something to help my fellow man. Yuzu is a shining example for all of us on what life is really all about. The Japanese culture permeates everything this man does. Yuzu is so respectful as many Japanese people are and I admire this culture immensely for the grace, dignity and respect that abounds there. Such a contrast to what I see everyday and it makes me feel like I want to live there myself. 
I have never seen this man in real life. I really cannot say I know anything about him. I have not spoken to Yuzu or anyone who has met him so anything I know is second, third and fourth hand. But even though I feel like I know everything there is to know about him now, I know that what I have seen over the last 15 days does not mean I know him at all. But I wish I did. He seems like a pretty good bloke. 
I wish...no, I hope that I get the chance to see Yuzu perform live. He has just made it onto no. 1 spot on my bucket list. If I can see him live after Covid I will be yelling, cheering, screaming at the top of my lungs. And I will be crying because I have seen perfection. The Greatest Of All Time.
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punz4lyfe · 4 years ago
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Pokemon Journeys’ Bea.... Kinda Sucks
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Hello again! After a weekend of contemplating, I’ve decided to write a little blog review of Pokemon Journeys’ version of Bea from SwSh. Originally, I was planning to do after we get a bit more episodes of Bea, but with all the leaked episode titles we’ve been getting, I’ve got a feeling we won’t see this lady until sometime at late-February, or even March, so let’s just get this outta the way now.
Also, please note that since Bea has only made two actual appearances in the anime, many of the points I will talk about will be subject to change depending on how the writers will handle her in the future, but with all that said, let’s get right to it.
Before we begin, let me just say this: in the games, I find Bea okay. And in Twilight Wings, I love her character and I feel she had a great amount of focus and depth. However, in the anime, I find her.... a little lame. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate her or anything and I feel she has a ton of great potential. So much so, that she could honestly surpass her Twilight Wings variation, but as of now, I’ve got some problems with her.
Problem #1: Her Goal/Motivation
So my first major problem with her character is her goal. Like almost every other trainer we’ve seen in Journeys, Bea wants to rise her rank in the World Coronation Series so that she can battle Leon and take his place as the world’s strongest trainer. But here’s my question for though: Why? Why do you want to be seen as the world’s strongest trainer?
In many past regions, almost all of Ash’s past rivals had the “what” to their goals: Conquering a regional league. However, many of them also had different “why’s” that added to their own motivation. Paul had a brother to prove himself stronger than, Alain had his whole thing with solving the secrets of Mega Evolution for Lysandre as well as finding a way to cure Chespie’s coma, and Gladion wanted to find his dad. From Bea, I’m literally getting nothing from her. Does she have a master she wants to prove herself to? Well, we later find out she trained under Johto’s Chuck, but that’s all really. Does she have some kind of troubling childhood where she was initially seen as weak by her peers, and now with the chance in hand, she can prove everyone wrong by becoming the world’s strongest trainer? As interesting as that sounds, that doesn’t seem to be the case, either.
Without any proper motivation, I have no reason to care for her goals. Please, writers, in her next appearance, please give us the “why” to her actions and not the “what”. Bea has a really cool design, so this is your chance in giving her a cool backstory to boot.
Problem #2: Her Team Sucks
As I’ve mentioned, Bea wants to conquer her way through the World Coronation Series and take Leon’s place. And how is she gonna do that? With a team of all-fighting types? That’s not good enough!
Fighting types are awesome undoubtedly, but like all types, they have their weaknesses. Imagine if Bea faced off against a trainer who, in turn, had a team of all fairy, flying, psychic, or ghost types. She would be completely screwed and she must’ve been pretty lucky to reach her current World Coronation status with a team like hers. There’s honestly a huge list of trainers I can think of who could completely screw Bea over, like Agatha, Skyla, or Sabrina. Heck, if you really think about it, if she were to face Leon, who we know possesses a Dragapult and Charizard, she honestly wouldn’t get far due to Dragapult’s half ghost typing and Gigantamax Charizard crushing her team like ants because it’s a flippin’ half flying giant. And if she were to take Leon’s place, it probably wouldn’t last long since someone can easily identify her preferred type and screw her over with the typings I’ve previously mentioned.
As a matter in fact, let’s imagine a what-if scenario: Ash using Gengar against her Grapploct, who the anime seems to be emphasizing as one of her strongest Pokemon. Looking up her Grapploct’s moveset in the anime, Detect would only delay the inevitable and Close Combat and Octolock wouldn’t do anything due to Gengar’s ghost typing, leaving Liquidation as the only option Grapploct would have to hurt Gengar. Meanwhile, all of Gengar’s own moves can easily affect Grapploct, especially Psychic. And before you bring up the time Gengar lost to Korrina’s Mienshao, keep in mind this, he was taken down by a Beat Up attack, a dark type move that’s honestly pretty broken if you think about it. Does Grapploct know any dark type moves? Nope. Would any of her other Pokemon know some? Most likely, but my point still stands that, with the right mon, you can easily screw up her own team.
That’s why many Champions and Elite Trainers have well-diversed teams. Because if they just stuck to one type, then someone could easily take advantage of that. Many of Ash’s past rivals also had well-diversed teams to keep the stakes high whenever Ash battled them, just look at Gary, Paul, Trip, Sawyer, and Alain. Speaking of stakes...
Problem #3: The Stakes Are Kinda Small
As I just mentioned, because of how straightforward her team is, the stakes of her and Ash’s rivalry are honestly kind of small in that regard. But that’s not all. I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but in all of her battles against Ash so far, I still don’t feel the reason to take her seriously.
Going back in her debut appearance, before her battle against Ash starts, she states that she previously beaten Korrina and called her ‘weak’. And to that, all I have to say, so? Ash has already beaten her a while back, and then he became a champion, and then he beaten her again. I have no idea what you’re exactly trying to prove with that, Bea. Not to mention, we didn’t even get to see who she used against Korrina and her Mega Lucario. Was it someone in her current roster or perhaps a secret weapon? Why would you hide this from us, writers?
Anywayz, going into the battle itself, Ash lost without defeating a single Pokemon. ...Yeah, I’m still not seeing the reason why I should take her seriously, considering the only mons Ash used were little baby Riolu and newcomer Farfetch’d. If it were a three-on-three with Ash using Dragonite, but he still lost, then I would see Bea as a big threat to his goals, but no. And while the lost did lower Ash’s own rank, be quickly raised it back up off-screen by her next appearance, so I guess that wasn’t much of a big deal overall.
In their next battle, Ash used Pikachu and Riolu again and it ended up in a draw, affecting neither of their ranks. Even with a draw, I don’t see any reason to take Bea seriously. While she managed to take down Pikachu, it should be noted that it took two of her Pokemon to do the job, plus Pikachu’s one of the most inconsistent characters in history, so him losing to Grapploct doesn’t really bring in a lot of stakes. And since Riolu and Grapploct tied, that pretty much spoils the fact that Ash’s aura dog will most likely take the W in one of their next battles, especially since Riolu has now evolved into Lucario.
Most rivals in the past usually consistently beat Ash a few times in a row to really set up the stakes for their rivalry. It would add interesting conflict and dynamic in their final confrontation, but considering the recent tie and that Ash only used his two newest mons in their first battle, I don’t really care about Bea as a rival. Not to mention, it took two mons to take down Pikachu, Dragonite and Gengar’s typings royally screw her over, Lucario’s evolution and Farfetch’d’s future one might set them up to be equal or even stronger than her mons, and Dracovish has the potential to be an absolute tank.
Final Points
Overall, with what we’re given so far, Bea kind of sucks as a rival. We don’t have any motivation or depth, her team sucks, and there aren’t really many stakes. She’s pretty much the generic mean boss lady we will have to defeat by the end of the journey. I honestly get a lot more stakes from FF7′s Turks.
But is she the worst rival that Ash has ever gotten? Not by a long shot, especially since the likes of Nando and Cameron exist omg Cameron why do you exist? And like I said, since she’s only made two appearances, there’s still a lot of room for improvement, so many of my issues with her could change over time. I just wanted to get this off of my chest and hopefully provide some insight to my fellow fans on how Bea could become a better character in the anime.
Though, I kind of feel there could be some better directions with her. Even if we get more development, her team will suck by the end of the day, so why not make her a rival for Korrina? They’re both fighting type specialists who aim to be the strongest, plus you could pull off a super cool rivalry over which is stronger; Mega Evolution or Gigantamaxing, with Lucario and Machamp respectively. I honestly feel Hop would be a better rival for Ash due to similar personalities, goals, and diversity in teams. Assuming Hop exists in the anime verse, of course.
If you made it this far, thank you very much for reading my thoughts over Journeys’ Bea! Please feel free to follow for more anipoke content! (am i cool already)
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dalekofchaos · 4 years ago
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How Disney/Lucasfilm failed Finn and John Boyega
A rant about my continued frustration on how Lucasfilm/Disney failed Finn and John Boyega
John Boyega’s Finn was setup as the male lead and co-protagonist of the sequel trilogy. That’s not an opinion, that’s not a headcanon, that’s a literally fact. He was set up to be equal with Rey & Kylo’s foil and we all know why that changed.
John Boyega was cast as the male and co-protagonist of the sequel trilogy by JJ Abrams, who had to fight for John Boyega to be cast against the preferred (White) casting choices.
Originally Finn(Sam in the original treatment) was white
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Majority from Okiro’s twitter thread exposing Lucasfilm’s hypocrisy when it comes to representation and black history
JJ Abrams told Finn he was the new star of Star Wars
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In The Force Awakens. Finn was a Stormtrooper who defected. After witnessing the death of his friend Slip and seeing the innocents being killed, Finn made the decision to save Poe Dameron and leave The First Order. Finn only wanted to leave The FIrst Order and run away. But after meeting Poe and later Rey, Finn began to care for more than himself. Finn was mentored by Han Solo. For once, he had a father figure and a positive role model as opposed to people like Hux and Phasma. He learned to care for Rey and even love her. After Starkiller Base destroyed the Hosnian System, Finn realized running was pointless and knew he had to fight. Then Kylo Ren took Rey. Finn went to The Resistance using his time on Starkiller Base to shut down the shield generator and plant the explosives on the thermal oscillator. Finn’s main focus was rescuing Rey. After Kylo force pushes Rey into a tree, Finn faces Kylo Ren. Finn learns to overcome his fears of The First Order and faces the symbolic evil that was Kylo Ren. Although Finn does not win, he puts up a good fight and was put in a coma for daring to defy Kylo. Then they bait and switched us with Rey. I’ll let you read my rant on that.
Finn was the co-protagonist of The Force Awakens, this is evident of Finn’s actions saving everyone. Finn is the very reason why the Resistance is even alive. Finn breaks his life-long brainwashing, informs Rey and Han about the importance of BB-8 and helps out in getting BB-8 to the resistance and provides vital information that lead to the destruction of STB and gets nearly killed while helping to achieve this. If it were not for Finn saving Poe, BB-8 would’ve been scrapped for parts and Rey never would’ve left Jakku. The map would either be destroyed or be in the hands of The First Order. Starkiller Base would’ve destroyed D’Qar and Ach-To. He is the reason why Poe is still alive. He is the reason why BB-8 isn’t parts and Rey left Jakku. Because of leaving Jakku, this is the sole reason why Han and Chewie were able to find the Falcon. And he is the reason why The Resistance was able to find out about Starkiller Base’s weakness. he Helps out in sabotaging STB so that Poe, the very pilot he saved in the beginning can deliver the finishing blow to Starkiller Base and destroy it completely.
There are some missed opportunity in TFA, believe me I know as I feel JJ squandered the theme of Stormtroopers rising up against their oppressors and that crack about Finn being a janitor was so tone deaf and unnecessary. 
Don’t believe me that Finn was meant to be the co-protagonist of the Sequels? Look at the marketing?
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Also. Just look at the hopeful optimism and representation FInn brought to black people.
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Then the racist boycotting happened. The boycott was groups of bigots who wanted the ST to be boycotted. What was the response from Lucasfilm? Zero defense of John Boyega, but their actions were transparent when they shrunk Finn on the TFA poster for fucking China’s sake, kept him off the TLJ teaser poster, and small on the official poster
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I’ll let what Rian Johnson chose to do with Finn speak for itself. John Boyega has every right to hate what Rian did with his character.
By giving into the boycott and doing their best to erase and sideline John Boyega, Lucasfilm proved they would always cater to mob law if the mob was big enough. Do I have proof of this boycott against John Boyega? Yes, I do.
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Also, popular Reylo blogger Jenny Nicholson’s racism against John Boyega
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Reminder that Jenny Nicholson blocked a whole fuckton of Black people who even gently criticized her about how she went after John Boyega
Did Lucasfilm after The Force Awakens try to support their Black lead in any way? No. In fact, they began to erase him harder than ever to the point Fans started a hashtag #WhereIsFinn because it was getting so bad. But Bryan Young, a Lucasfilm writer, sure loved to hate on Finn
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Lucasfilm was so racist, the very concept of a Black man and a white woman getting together sent them into such a frenzy Lucasfilm had to have it removed from any EU material just to make sure they kept it nice and bigot friendly. Also it’s worth noting that Alan Dean Foster was ordered by Lucasfilm/Disney to scrap any hints of Finnrey romance from the TFA novel as he believed that was the direction of the Sequels’ romance and coincidentally they did next to nothing with and we know it was racially motivated. "I expected to see that developed further in Episode VIII [The Last Jedi]," Foster said. "And zero happened with it. And we all know why zero happened with it — and there's no need to go into it in-depth — but that's, sadly, just the way things are."
It wasn’t JJ Abrams, Lawrence Kasdan or Chris Terrio who were against Finnrey. It was Disney and Lucasfilm and RIan Johnson was more than happy to separate Rey and Finn 99% of the movie(he said and did enough things to prove that he didn’t want the two characters even near each other)
Then John spoke about his frustration with how he was treated
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People have tried to twist the narrative or put words in Boyega's mouths, but his GQ interview paints the picture rather clearly. He was sidelined due to his race after The Force Awakens when The Last Jedi came around with a "reordered character hierarchy" Lucasfilm's order btw
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It resulted in Rey and Kylo Ren being featured prominently in both TLJ and TROS. It also resulted in Reylo being canon. Lucasfilm killed the Sequel trilogy, cause they couldn’t bare the thought of a black man in the leading role and a interracial relationship. 
If you look at TFA, you’ll realize that Finn was built up to becoming a Jedi, Kylo’s foil and Rey’s equal. Because TLJ happened, Finn’s role was reduced to a side character and JJ could not make him as prominent as he originally wanted to. EIther studio interference or TLJ screwed everything up so bad that he had to work on it slowly and just hope that Disney + would have something for Finn.
At the start of the trilogy, we all thought people of color would have a prominent role in the new trilogy, there was a potential for the first interracial relationship in Star Wars and there was a potential for the first LGBT relationship in Star Wars. But no, it’s clear that both TLJ and TROS gave us the impression that only white people can be Jedi and only white people can have epic romances and save the galaxy, people of color can only have secondary roles. And the blink and you miss it kiss? Only white women, not two men of color who clearly love each other.
Finn’s best scenes were deleted. 
Finn and the villager. it really shows why Finn chose to leave. Finn’s reasoning for leaving the First Order had nothing to do with being against violence, but a moral confliction of not wanting to hurt defenseless people. This villager wasn’t a soldier, wasn’t trying to hurt him. She was just a woman with her baby. This wasn’t war, this was murder, and Finn refused to be a murderer.
TLJ alternate opening. Opens with Finn waking up. Small change, but it would show that Finn is still a prominent character.
BB-8 shows Finn Rey’s last moment with him. BB-8 tries to cheer Finn up, but to no avail until he shows him a recording of Rey from the end of The Force Awakens - the scene she says goodbye to an unconscious Finn and kisses him on the forehead before leaving to find Luke Skywalker.
Poe gives back his sewn up jacket to Finn. In this deleted scene, Poe fills in the gaps and tries to assuage Finn about his concerns, including Finn's mixed feelings about his relationship with the Resistance. Poe then gives back the jacket that was once his and became Finn's in The Force Awakens, showing Finn that he sewed it up. This scene doesn't necessarily push forward any plot development, but should've remained as great a moment between Finn and Poe. The two characters established a wonderful chemistry and bond in The Force Awakens, and with Finn off on Canto Bight for much of The Last Jedi, fans didn't get to see as much of their relationship as expected. It's nice to see that chemistry and bond again. Finn's question about winning is also interesting in highlighting the constant uphill battle of the Resistance. Even destroying the Starkiller Base, Rey defeating Kylo Ren, and blowing up a Dreadnought can still put the Resistance in the position of fleeing. 
The elevator scene between Finn and an old Stormtrooper friend.  A Stormtrooper voiced by Tom Hardy recognizes Finn and starts talking to him. Finn starts to draw his gun, thinking the Stormtrooper has recognized him as a traitor, but it turns out the Stormtrooper is just surprised to see that FN-2187 has become an officer. The scene may go on for a bit too long, but ultimately it should've stayed in. The scene in the elevator does a great job playing with the audience's emotions, as they're unsure whether the tension will rise to the breaking point of a fight or evolve into a humorous moment. It also shows Finn using restraint by not killing a fellow Stormtrooper, unlike the other two movies.
Phasma’s alternate and BETTER death scene. WHY WAS THIS CUT????? No seriously, WHY WAS THIS FUCKING CUT????? I will never understand why this was deleted. Finn calls her out about her betrayal of lowering the shields and when this information is revealed, the Stormtroopers near her look suspicious and it looks as if they are going to turn on her. Phasma like the ultimate survivalist she is kills them with no hesitation. Finn cuts her hand off and blasts her into the abyss, giving Phasma a more deserving and better send off. Seriously, this is way better than their actual confrontation.  What I really like about this scene is its direct connection to The Force Awakens plot point and that it acknowledges Phasma's survivalist attitude which was introduced into her novel. The Phasma novel and comic portrayed her not as a First Order loyalist, but as a ruthless warrior who did whatever it took to survive. She even went so far as hunting down and doing away with those within the First Order who had knowledge of what she did at the Starkiller Base lest the truth get out. Phasma was always about self-preservation, she wasn't about preserving the First Order, but that never comes across in The Force Awakens or The Last Jedi. It only comes across in this deleted scene where Phasma chooses to end her own Stormtroopers to save herself.
Something else that bothers me. Finn’s treatment in the expanded universe. Have you ever noticed that Poe and Kylo got all the big expanded universe material and Finn is always shoved into the background or not there at all? Even worse, every form of media portrays Finn as Poe's bumbling sidekick, which is even more apparent in TROS. They were more interested in having Poe and Finn being the Abbott and Costello of the ST instead of letting Finn going from Stormtrooper to Jedi and lead a Stormtrooper Rebellion.
In the journey to TROS, Finn is not featured in ANY of the novels or graphic novels for the Journey to TROS. When he was, he was used as Poe’s sidekick and not featured anywhere with Rey. Before the release of the movie, he is not featured whatsoever in any shape or form in marketing. We get to see him in two teasers but he says nothing. His new outfit looks awesome. Finn could’ve been used to rise as a Jedi with Rey and essentially be the Skywalkers that Rise and face Kylo and Palpatine together. If not that, Finn could’ve caused a Stormtrooper Rebellion that burns The First Order from the inside out. Instead of any of that, it Finn was given nothing for this movie. He doesn’t even get to face Kylo Ren, their rivalry as foils was completely dropped. That is sad and heartbreaking.
Seriously, there is no novelizations or comics that expand on Finn’s time in The First Order. Sure, there is Before The Awakening. But consider this. Finn was their best Stormtrooper, so good that Hux considered him Captain material.
There is so much potential with Finn in the Expanded Universe. Apply all the posts I’ve linked and more.
The Poe Dameron comics were not about Poe’s life, they were about his personality, skills, character, and the Resistance. So I ask, why can’t/couldn’t the same have been done with Finn pre TFA? A comic series exploring his character while world building the First Order.
There is so much to tell. You could start with Finn vividly remembering his family and how he was abducted and recruited for the FN Corps.
You could even show the ruthlessness of The First Order by showing initiation for the FN Corps is only granted by forcing the children to kill each other in a Hunger Games/Battle Royale to see who the strongest and who deserves to be welcomed to the First Order. This would be in separate groups of the children who are abducted to determine who gets to be put in the FN Corps. We could see Phasma returning to the room, only to see a young Finn covered in blood and dried up tears. Phasma will only say “Welcome to The First Order, FN-2187.”
Wouldn’t it be interesting to see how Finn, a brainwashed soldier broke free of his mental conditioning, learned the truth of the FO yet still tried to be a good soldier. It could flesh out his relationship with the squad he led, as well as Phasma and Hux.
It could’ve also showcased the brotherhood and friendship Finn had with  FN-2199 (“Nines”), FN-2000 (“Zeroes”), and FN-2003 (“Slip”).
The biggest thing it could do is finally show Finn’s skills as a soldier, his brains, while giving so much needed world building First Order. We could also finally show what it’s like as a FO stormtrooper from a sympathetic POV.
Through the avenue of a Finn comic series you could also flesh out Hux, Phasma, Nines, Zeroes, Slip, and even characters like Kylo and Snoke. It doesn’t have to cover spoilers, just make the one note more dimensional while giving Finn so overdue respectful content
It could end with everyone asking Finn “what was the moment you decided to leave” which then we would see the TFA deleted scene of Finn in the village 
It could end on Finn saying "I was raised to do one thing, I used to think I’ve got nothing to fight for, but now I have something worth fighting for.“
And afterwards. You could show Finn and Jannah working together to liberating the other Stormtroopers. The first person they rescue? Zeroes, FInn’s last surviving Squad Member and together they awaken and liberate their brothers and sisters and all the while Finn rises up and becomes a Jedi!
For those wondering what about Finn in TROS? I’ll let this video do all the talking
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I’d also like to point out. Finnrey WAS going to happen in TROS. Here’s confirmation by Jedipaxis, the main reddit leaker, who was right about everything before the films release, confirmed that Finn’s “i never told you” line was supposed to have some payoff and it was going to end with finn and rey holding hands. could this pic have been of the alternate ending? then reshoots happened and we got the Reylo kiss
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I’m convinced that John Boyega was told by the higher ups to say Finn was meant to say he was “Force Sensitive” no one who is about to die would “always want to tell you” they were force sensitive. 
Hell, even in the original Episode IX by Colin Trevorrow. Duel Of Fates. Finn was given the shaft again. For some unknown reason, Rey is paired with Poe, a character who barely interacts with Rey at all. Finn was given another sidequest to do. The only brightside for Finn is he participates in retaking Corruscant and a Stormtrooper Rebellion near the end. 
Finn, who was once held in prominence as the co-protagonist alongside Rey. Was erased from how prominent he once was and reduced to a sidecharacter due to China and fanbacklash that there was going to be a black lead in Star Wars. Disney caved in to the racist backlash and caved into China’s racist demands. 
Finn deserved to be a main character alongside Rey, while Kylo Ren is their villain. He deserved a good character development, a great arc, an interesting backstory. he had the potential to become one of the most epic star wars characters. TLJ and TROS was an insult for him and he deserved better. nobody will EVER change my mind.
Finn should’ve been a Stormtrooper turned Jedi who embraced the light, while Kylo Ren who was the Skywalker who rejected the light and embraced the dark. Rey should’ve been Luke’s daughter, while Finn is the Jedi who builds himself up from being a Stormtrooper from nowhere to Jedi and together Rey and Finn stop Kylo Ren and bring down The First Order and rebuild The Jedi!
Finn should have been a Stormtrooper turned Jedi.  It doesn’t matter that you think it tells a better story for him to not be a Jedi. “Finn being a hero who is not a Jedi is important.” Poe and Rose are great examples of ordinary heroes coming from nowhere. Rey was supposed to be a jedi related to Skywalker or Kenobi legacy while Finn was the perfect “nobody from nowhere” that becomes a Jedi. And honestly, Black kids deserved to see themselves in the Black Jedi and black kids deserved to see themselves as one of the three protagonists of the trilogy.
Finn got no last name No theme Was sidelined in the trilogy Had his scenes cut Mocked by Lucasfilm employees Racially harassed by bigots and media outlets Disney used while staying silent and then Disney has the nerve to say they “stand” with John Boyega during the BLM movement and celebrated Finn during black history month despite squandering him....
Finn deserved better, period!
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malikmata · 3 years ago
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Notes from a Brown Boy - Kansas Diaries
*Author’s Note: Some people’s names have been changed to protect their identities
The rain was the first thing to greet me when I landed in Wichita. Overhead the gray clouds loomed, shadowing the farmland that yawned in the distance. Distance. At first glance, the city seemed like one long stretch of prairies and cracked parking lots, occasionally punctuated by billboards of grinning injury lawyers and lit up restaurant road signs.
If you spend enough time here amid the crumbling old buildings, watching the weeds sway in the vacant lots, you’ll feel the slow, inevitable creep of dread or something like it.
It’s easy to feel lonely here.
But, if you’re receptive enough, you’ll run into many friendly folks. Sometimes too friendly.
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For example: During my first week, I went to Freddy’s, a local fast food chain, and ordered a crispy chicken sandwich with fries. The cashier, a young woman with glasses and short blonde hair, suddenly started confessing her fear that her 8-year old chihuahua wouldn’t live a long life.
“I still think of him as a teenager,” she said.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “He’s a chihuahua. They live long lives.”
Out here, in the most middle-of-the-road cities, you sometimes get a chance to show an act of passing kindness. While waiting in line at one of the hip, new cafes downtown, a place called Milkfloat, a tall elderly gentleman recommended which coffee and pastry to get.
“My wife says this place has the best cold brew in town.” Afterwards, grabbing his pastry and coffee, he wished me a good day. Most folks here always do and you better hope it comes true. Because here, like elsewhere, a day is filled with ordinary heartbreaks.
I will simply call her “Tita.” She works as a tailor at a department store, the only tailor working there, hemming and tapering racks full of suit pants under fluorescent lights. The nature of the job requires exact measurements and a keen eye for detail. She works hard, often skips lunch, and comes home dead tired. Her husband is recovering from 4 broken ribs after a car repair job went awry. Nothing can be done but wait until he gets better.
They live in a languid suburb on Wichita’s east side, a street with few sidewalks but plenty of lawn.
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And noise. Plenty of noise. The neighborhood sits next to a car dealership. The skies overhead rumble continuously with airplanes and thunderstorms. Dogs bark at anyone who gets too close. A pickup truck blasts a corny country song as the cicadas and frogs belt out their lonely mating calls. Occasionally, a child’s laughter rises above it all.
Gossip is one of the great pastimes in towns like these. Even if you shut yourself up in your home, stories trickle in.
The neighbor across the street shot himself in the head.
The elderly couple that used to live next door got committed to a nursing home.
A fellow around the corner is on his third attempt to grow weed.
A college student starves himself morning to night so that he can save money for college.
Down the street, a kid lifts weights and punches the heavy bag hanging on his front porch.
Here, dumb luck seems, more so than in the big cities, the providence of God.
A man told me he got a job installing new carpets at a friend’s house. He was in desperate need of money, having sent most of it to his mother back home, who proceeded to gamble it away. When he ripped out the old carpet, he found a bundle of $10,000 dollars just lying there. His co-worker said, “We should split it.”
“No, no, we can’t take it.” the man said. He gave the money to his friend.
Sometime later, he went to the casino and couldn’t stop winning jackpot after jackpot. He brought home close to $16,000 in one night.
“So, if you do something good,” he told me, “God will remember that.”
Many people have come to live and die here, all of them wrapped up in the melancholic churning of faded ambitions and familial obligations.
Some people here have found something that returns them to the placidity they once felt in their youth. Sometimes that’s enough to keep them going.
For example:
I met Phil Uhlik, the namesake of the music store on E Douglas. He heard me playing an old Martin acoustic in one of the rooms. He shuffled in slightly hunched over, wearing a blue paisley shirt and brown shorts. He looked at the sunburst guitar in my hands and said, “It’s got a little beauty mark there.” He pointed to a small nick just above the sound hole. “All girls have beauty marks.” He pointed to his cheeks and smiled.
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Uhlik started this music store 51 years ago and enjoys every moment of it.
“When you go to work for Boeing, that’s work,” he said. “But this, it doesn’t feel like work.” He motioned to the instruments all around him.
“How’d you get started?” I asked.
“I started off playing one of these,” he said, taking one of the accordions off a nearby shelf. As he strapped it on, all the years seemed to disappear. With a big crooked-teeth grin, he breathed life into the old accordion, his hands dancing up and down the keys. The smile never left his face as we bid farewell to each other.
I wish everyone in this world were as lucky as Phil.
I’m always seeking indie bookstores when I travel. Eighth Day Books provides much needed shelter from the summer heat. The shop was built 33 years ago and used to be located about half a mile east, in Clifton Square Village. About 17 years ago they moved to their current location, a 1920 Dutch-style colonial house on the corner of E Douglas and N Erie. Its blue trimmed windows peek through the foliage of neighboring trees.
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When you walk in, you’ll see shelves of books on Christianity and Theological studies, most notably in the Eastern Orthodox tradition. I’ve never seen a bookshop with a section dedicated to Iconography.
Wichita, despite its size, feels like a small place. And with that cramped spaciousness, you’re likely to run into someone you may remember or who may remember you. Here I ran into my girlfriend’s 8th grade English teacher. A bald, bespectacled man with a gentle demeanor. After a bit of catching up, he said to us with a smile, “I hope all your dreams come true.”
The short story writer, Raymond Carver, once wrote: “Dreams… are what you wake up from.”
Wichita is a land that hypnotizes you; it makes you dream, dream of something beyond the miles of strip malls and airplane factories, beyond the shocks of wheat and windswept plains, beyond the doldrums and ennui. But it also shakes you awake, reminds you that you’re in it, that you better stop dreaming.
I’m not the religious sort anymore, having survived the regime laid down by my Catholic parents. But there is something enthralling, maybe even inspirational, when I look at the rows of beautifully painted portraits of saints and martyrs. Such solemn faces surrounded by golden halos. According to the Eastern Orthodox tradition, such paintings transcend art; they’re supposed to be windows through which you can glimpse the divine. They remind me of my grandparents with their judging eyes and moral seriousness.
My book haul for the day:
Snow Country by Yasunari Kawabata
The Diary of Anne Frank
Earthly Signs: Moscow Diaries by Marina Tsvetaeva
Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector
In that last book, I found this lovely little passage:
…”in the Revolution, as always, the weight of everyday life falls on women: previously--in sheaves, now in sacks. Everyday life is a sack with holes. And you carry it anyway.”
From Earthly Signs, P. 40
According to the 2019 United States census bureau, 15.9% of Wichita's population lives below the poverty line. That’s higher than the state average, which hovers around 11.4%. That’s not the lowest nor is it the highest in the country. As befitting its location, Kansas is right in the middle.
The minimum wage in Kansas is still $7.25 despite efforts to increase it to $15. When Covid-19 hit, city and service workers bore the brunt of the impact. You can keep all your empty slogans like  “We Love Our Frontline Workers.” Congratulate me all you want for my hard work but where’s my pay?
When you see that business here has returned to normal--people freely walking around without masks, no longer socially distancing--it still feels all too strange; we spent an entire year under lockdown. There’s still a pandemic by the way.
Loved ones fell ill, died alone, hooked up to ventilators in closed off hospital rooms. I believe every interaction now carries the weight of all those deaths. My family, like so many others, didn’t escape unscathed from the pandemic. My grandpa, Amang, caught Covid. Since he was an elderly citizen (and suffering from emphysema to boot), he was among those considered most at risk. We all feared the worst. Somehow he survived. The doctors called him a “trailblazer.”
Now, with businesses back to 100% capacity, I’m afraid that, just like the 1918 Flu epidemic, the past will fade like a nightmare upon waking. But it was so much more than that; it was an avoidable tragedy.
If you want to know what this pandemic has done to people and their livelihoods, is still doing to them, take a ride through downtown.
Things were already going bad before Covid hit. Back in 2004, the writer Thomas Frank wrote,
“There were so many closed shops in Wichita… that you could drive for blocks without ever leaving their empty parking lots, running parallel to the city streets past the shut-down sporting goods stores and toy stores and farm implement stores.”
What’s the Matter with Kansas: How Conservatives Won the Heart of America, P. 75
What led to all this blight? Frank attributes the decline to:
“the conservatives’ beloved free market capitalism, a system that, at its most unrestrained, has little use for smalltown merchants or the agricultural system that supported the small towns in the first place.”
-P. 79
The same story happens in a lot of places. A megacorporation keeps eating everything around it and leaves nothing else at the table.
The people are left hurting, a pit in their stomachs, and some asshole somewhere profits off of it.
While at the DMV, I overheard this:
“You have a good day now,” the security guard said.
“I’ll try my best,” a woman said.
My girlfriend heard them too and laughed.
“You really do have to try your best in order to have a good day here.”
At some point, we hit the town with a couple friends: Monica, and her boyfriend Will. Both are musicians trying to carve out their niche in a place that, on the surface, seems apathetic to creative pursuits.
It’s impossible to not be captured by their energy. As soon as we walk into their house, Monica, with her dark blonde hair draped over her shoulders, reached in for a hug. Will, a tall and bearded fellow with a bear-like presence, also went in for the hug.
“Ready to experience some Wichita nightlife?” Monica asked.
What is the nightlife here like? A group of high school punks wanted to fight us over a couple movie theater seats. Bored kids play rounds of “Chinese Fire Drill” at stop lights. I heard a nazi biker gang rolled into town at some point during my stay. Regular things like that.
At a low-key bar downtown called Luckys, I met a guy named Cory. He told me how he met a 15 year old kid loitering here, looking lost and forlorn.
“I don’t know what kind of advice I can give you but I’ll do the best I can,” Cory said.
This is the spirit I’ve often come across during my stay: A sort of slightly intrusive compassion. For a cynical Californian like me, the behavior seems a little strange, maybe even a little annoying. But I’ve come to appreciate the candor of it.
“Guaranteed we’ll know half the people here,” Will said.
Right away, he shook hands with the bartender—a high school friend of his—and asked him how his band was doing. Afterwards, we sat down and talked. Talking, after a year of pandemic lockdown, has become a lost art to me. But a little alcohol loosened the lips and suddenly I talked as though I’d known these people my whole life.
Will sipped his whisky on the rocks and told me:
“If everything in this world is meant to break down eventually, then any act of creation becomes an act of defiance.”
It may sound naive but to me, it’s true. I think about the words of the writer, John Berger:
Compassion defies the laws of necessity. To forget yourself and identify with a stranger has a power that defies the supposed natural order of things.
--The Shape of a Pocket, P. 179
Making art has to be, in some way, a compassion act, because it involves letting the environment and the people you meet speak for themselves, allowing a collaboration.
“When a painting is lifeless it is the result of the painter not having the nerve to get close enough for a collaboration to start… Every authentic painting demonstrates a collaboration.”
--The Shape of a Pocket, P. 16
You need to open yourself up, feel what someone is saying behind their words, and hopefully, feel what they feel.
Art, like Compassion, is defiant.
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Among the 4 or so Asian markets here, you can find all the ingredients you need to cook up something good. During my first week, I stopped at a place called Grace Market. Like a lot of small Asian markets, it’s family run. A father from Taiwan. A mother from Korea. The son usually helps out when he can. Today (June 23), On this warm Wednesday morning, the son is manning the cash register.
“You’re from California? I’m from there too,” he said.
“Where at?” I asked.
“Sacramento. How about you? So Cal?”
“Nah, Bay Area.”
“Funny. That’s where my parents met.”
“Small world.”
On a different day, we met the father, a jovial man who never fails to say hi when you walk in. He came here over a couple decades ago from California, doing work for the US Army in Garden City. Once his service was over, he decided to stay in Kansas.
“I think you know why,” he said.
More and more young folks these days are leaving California. The high cost of living is presumably what’s driving this exodus. I told him I was also thinking of leaving the Golden State, as much as I love the place.
“Well, a town like this has a lot of potential if you want to save money,” he said. “If I tried to start this business in California, I don’t think I could’ve done it.”
The summer heat can, with the suddenness of a lightning flash, give way to thunderous storms. Speaking as someone from California, whose home has gone through excruciating periods of drought and wildfire, these nightly downpours are a startling yet relaxing sight.
The distant boom of thunder in the distance reminds you of how much of our lives depend on the weather, how small we are in comparison, how we are never separate from the goings-on of nature. The rain doesn’t come down lightly here. At night, it smacks and drums against the window pane with all the force of an animal trying to get inside.
But I don’t find myself frightened by it so much as awed by the combined power of wind and rain colliding against our rickety old house.
Kansas lies in the Great Plains, where layers of cool and warm air often combine into a low-level jet stream. Unimpeded by any natural obstacles on the wide flat plains, the wind roars across the expanse. Thunder growls over the prairie. And lightning flashes on the horizon in a fearsome red tinge.
The storm rages throughout the night, the only source of light in an ocean-sized plain.
“In general, the gods of the Wichita are spoken of as "dreams," and they are divided into four groups: Dreams-that-are-Above (Itskasanakatadiwaha), or, as the Skidi would say, the heavenly gods; and (2) Dreams-down-Here (Howwitsnetskasade), which, according to the Skidi terminology, are the earthly gods. The latter "dreams" in turn are divided into two groups: Dreams-living-in-Water (Itska-sanidwaha), and the Dreams-closest-to-Man (Tedetskasade)”
From The Mythology of the Wichita, P. 33
If you go downtown, you’ll see a sculpture called “The Keeper of the Plains.”
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It’s almost 9 o’ clock when I get there, so large crowds have gathered to watch the ring of fire lit around its perimeter.
The statue was designed by indigenous artist and craftsman, Blackbear Bosin. Born in Cyril, Oklahoma, but living much of his adult life in Wichita, Kansas, Bosin was of Comanche and Kiowa descent and almost entirely self-taught as an artist.
When you come upon the Keeper of the Plains, standing tall on the fork of the Arkansas and Little Arkansas Rivers, you can’t help but feel a mix of admiration and sadness. It’s a striking statue, especially when set against the beautiful orange and lavender hues of the setting sun. But monuments like these end up reminding you of the Wichita peoples who were killed, displaced, driven from their land, and left to die in reservations, forgotten. The tribes that once lived here along the southern plains still show traces of their culture but now, you’ll see it mostly as a memory in a museum or as art hanging on the walls of a library.
I learned from a video by the Wichita Eagle that the last speaker of the Wichita language, Doris Jean Lamar, died back in 2016. It must be indescribably lonely to be the last speaker of a language. There is no one to have a conversation with, no one to whom you can confess your hopes or your regrets. But in the video, Lamar, even knowing that she is the last speaker, expresses hope that future generations will know what the language sounded like.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ScPkN_xGRI
Is forgiveness even possible when injustices are still committed today against native peoples everywhere?
Not enough can be said about the skies here, which seem at times so brilliantly marbled with peach and lavender colors that you begin to walk with your head perpetually craned upwards.
It’s this aspect, the overwhelming sense of the sublime, that will probably stay with me long after I’ve left Kansas.
I think again about the nature of dreams. It isn’t such a sin to dream about things, about things that haven’t happened yet, and about things that have happened. To quit dreaming seems too cynical, like admitting from the outset that everything is screwed, that you should stop trying.
During my stay here, I’ve met many people who aren’t so irony poisoned yet, people who are achingly sincere and kind. They haven’t stopped trying. There isn’t much room for cynicism here. I appreciate that a lot.
Farewell to you, Kansas, you and your clumps of cumulus and vast fields of cows and grass. I’ll see you again.
Check out Will’s music! It’s gloomy, melancholy, and LOUD!: https://teamtremolo.bandcamp.com/album/intruder
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Gonna make full use of my ‘comic rant’ tag and roast Future State: Superwoman.
Spoilers! And yelling! Of the disgruntled kind!
So a few things at the start here: 1.) I wanted to love this book. I wanted it to be great. I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt, in spite of some iffy stuff in the solicit text. So this rant is not coming from a place of having decided this was going to be awful ahead of time. 2.) My tolerance for bad Supergirl comics is pretty high! Takes a lot for me to actually come out and say that a particular issue is trash. Reader: This story is trash.
It’s not ‘middle-aged white guys writing/drawing a story about sending a minor to a potentially hostile planet fully nude’ trash, mind you. It’s the compost bin, rather than the landfill. Slightly nicer trash, but it still stinks to high heaven. Allow me to expand!
PROLOGUE - SUMMARY: ...I actually can’t summarize this comic b/c it would devolve into a lot of senseless yelling. We’ll just have to tease out this terrible plot as we go along. 
PART I - DEAD DOGS TELL BAD TALES: The comic opens with Kara standing at Krypto’s grave. That’s not why this comic is trash, but it bears mentioning. Because why. Why would you do this. 
PART II - IN WHICH IT ONLY GETS WORSE: So, Kara has a running inner monologue, and the main thing we gather from Kara’s thoughts is that it was Krypto who taught her to be a hero. On paper, that sounds very sweet! In practice, it reads as Kara having no moral center whatsoever—whatever good qualities she might possess, she did not learn from her parents, or her foster parents, or friends, or fellow heroes. Nor do they come from within Kara herself. Nope, t’was Krypto who taught Kara not to be a jealous rage monster. That is not hyperbole--Kara’s walking around angry about her cousin all the time and she’s like, ‘It was you, Krypto, who taught me not to judge, and to let go of anger.’ Listen, I love Krypto, but this? This is, as the youth would say, a bad look.
PART III - THOSE CERTAINLY ARE...SOME THEMES: The set-up here is that Kara is on the moon, and has established a sanctuary for alien refugees. That’s a dynamite idea! I love that! Buuuuut Kara didn’t look at the plight of alien refugees and say, ‘I want to help!’ Really, she didn’t even look at herself and say, ‘I don’t want others to feel like I’ve felt.’ No, she said, ‘Earth won’t accept me as a hero, and Clark didn’t name me protector of Earth, so. I’m out!’ (Honestly, if your moral compass is so whack that you need a dog to walk you back from Hulk-Smashing...can’t say I blame Clark for not picking you, Kara!) But apparently, the people on the moon don’t really like her either. And it is literally never explained why. There’s a whole montage of Kara fixing stuff and saving lives and all the moon folk just glare at her. This makes both the moon people AND Kara look like a**holes, because they come across as ungrateful, and she comes across as a glory hound. Thanks! I hate it! So the ‘peace’ Kara’s found on the moon isn’t really peaceful at all, cause she still resents her cousin, and people still don’t like her, in spite of the fact that she’s constantly performing acts of service for them. 
Also, side note, I’m just now realizing this is an entire population of alien refugees...and Kara is somehow still the odd one out. Like, Earth I get, because everyone else is a human and maybe freaked out by the super powers. But a bunch of aliens? WHY. Why did you do this. Why did this need to be set on the moon with alien refugees if you’re not going to interrogate Kara’s identity as an alien refugee herself AND all of the aliens are inexplicably humanoid in appearance and utterly ordinary in terms of power levels.  
Like. This is not the CW show, where they have a budget, and a huge ensemble cast to serve. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. AAARRRRRGHHHH.
PART III CONT’D: There’s also this weird ‘birthright’ element introduced...like, Clark and Jon stole Kara’s ‘right’ to be earth’s defender which is...a terrible reading of Kara’s modern origin. It brings in the idea that Kara is a ‘chosen one’ and because she didn’t get to be that chosen one, all of her hero work is for nothing. Never mind the whole central conceit of what makes Clark and Kara heroic...that they have this incredible power, and choose to do good with it. Nah...it’s all about her ‘right’ to protect the people of Earth! And mean ol’ Clark took that away! THANKS. I HATE IT. 
PART IV - A POOR USE OF SPACE: So, all of the Future State books kind of struggle with the issue of too much exposition, which is understandable. They have to introduce an entirely new status quo in a very limited amount of literal page space, so you *really* have to have a handle on how you allocate your time and focus.  
Introducing a brand new, lore-heavy heroic character who gets all of the development and dynamic art and pulls focus away from the character you’re meant to be writing is a bad use of a two issue limited series.
Like, this is a crappy Supergirl comic but it’s a great backdoor pilot for a Lynari ongoing, I guess. 
Imagine if in the Jon Superman book, they introduced a random, brand new best friend for Jon, and he got the big character arc instead of Jon. That’s something you save for an arc in an ongoing title, NOT A TWO ISSUE EVENT COMIC.  
Back to said new character, there’s a lot of forced attempts to parallel Kara and Lynari, but Lynari’s backstory is so confusing, rushed, and poorly explained that it’s like: okay, they’re both...angry? And the moon jerks hate them? ...uh. Okay.
(I’m gonna bring back my ‘why is this set on the moon, even’ question so that my ‘poor use of space’ header becomes a better joke.) 
PART V - I'M HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO...B/C THERE SURE AIN’T ONE HERE: I’ve already mentioned that Krypto was apparently Kara’s conscience so when Lynari’s aunt arrives to...kill them? (again, everything about Lynari’s backstory is rushed and poorly explained) Kara gets real mad and basically pulls a Gothel: ‘You want me to be the bad guy? Fine! Now I’m the bad guy.’ But thank goodness Lynari is there to tell Kara no! Don’t murder the giant aunt eel! Lynari then steals Kara’s powers and gives up the swamp jewel that’s been hidden inside their body and now their aunt is less murder-y!
WOW. Couldn’t even give the big damn hero moment to Kara in her own book, huh?
So the day is saved. It takes Kara a while to regain her powers, and it’s only then, when she’s no longer ‘above’ the moon jerks, that they’re like, ‘oh, we like her!’ There is a bit of narration about how that attitude is awful. But that narration is provided by Lynari. See, the inner monologue is no longer Kara’s thoughts, but rather it has switched to Lynari’s point of view. They’re telling us this story. And do you know why?
PART VI - WHY THIS COMIC *SUCKS*: KARA DIES. SHE’S THE FRIGGIN’ ‘SECOND GRAVE’ OF THE TITULAR ‘TWO GRAVES’
Fudge this comic to heck.
See, Kara dies on the moon, presumably of old age. She’s buried next to Krypto. And this random character who we’re suddenly supposed to care about tells us her story. Not Clark. Not the Danvers. Not Brainy. Not even one of the supporting cast members from her solo title. No one from Kara’s life is mentioned at all, save for Jon and Clark, and they’re pretty much relegated to flashbacks of Kara punching them. 
PART VII - TIME TO COMPARE DEATHS, I GUESS: First and foremost can I just say that I hate that’s a sentence that I’m typing about Kara in the year of our lord, 2021. But okay: Kara’s big famous death in Crisis stopped the entire DC universe cold. Everyone paused in the middle of the destruction of the multiverse to mourn her loss and honor her (GENUINELY HEROIC) sacrifice. Clark and Barbara--two established characters with a strong connection/relationship to Kara--offered lovely eulogies. 
This one: Kara gets to die of old age in obscurity after a lifetime of striving to be recognized and only achieving it by de-powering and serving a population of jerks. 
Not the warm and fuzzy ending you think it is!
(Meanwhile, Clark lives for millennia and spawns an entire dynasty of Els, all of ‘em out there, protecting the cosmos. I was looking forward to House of El in the hopes of maybe seeing some Kara stuff but NOPE. Thanks to Superwoman, we’re probably not gonna see any future Kara stuff beyond this! G R E A T)
And like, the argument could be made that this ending makes Kara happy. This is the life she chooses! She wants to be alone and garden on the moon! Except, we get zero insight from Kara regarding the remainder of her life. We only have Lynari’s narration and some montage shots...nearly all of which focus on other characters. But honestly, even if we did get Kara’s side of things, I doubt it would shed much light on her feelings, bEEECAUSE...
PART VIII - SUPER BLAND: This Kara really has no personality outside of ‘detached and vaguely bitter.’ I like Sauvage, I think she’s an incredibly talented artist, but here, Kara is stiff and her expression often reads as aloof. She’s very pretty, but it comes at the expense of being expressive. (And I know Sauvage can do expressive stuff...because Lyanari gets to be expressive.) Like...I love that shojo manga vibe but this is a Kara devoid of spark and warmth. 
...Like...Melissa Benoist’s portrayal of Kara is right there... 
I’ve already sort of touched on this but her inner monologue doesn’t have much personality either. She’s just parroting the same, ‘I need to do as Krypto taught me!’ nonsense for both issues. Until, of course, we shift to Lynari’s narration, and lose Kara’s thread entirely. 
PART IX - LET’S WRAP THIS UP: This book frustrates me to no end because it had a lot of stuff going for it. It’s got a female writer and artist--still a rarity for the Supergirl book--it’s a limited series mostly free of continuity and character baggage, and it’s not tied down to the grimdark cyberpunk stuff happening in the Gotham books. YOU COULD’VE DONE ANYTHING. And, once again, DC goes with a pitch that’s: Kara is angry, Kara resents Clark...and Kara dies.
It’s also happening...right as Kara has no dedicated ongoing title, the movie’s been shelved, the TV show is entering its sixth and final season, and all promotion has shifted to new CW and HBO shows. 
*screams into the void* 
MAAAAAAN I hate this book. I hate that it retroactively makes me hate the Andreyko run a little bit--a run that I took to be about a traumatized young woman forced to confront her grief, and who leans on a beloved animal companion for comfort. Here, Krypto is L I T E R A L L Y the reason Kara’s not constantly frying folks with her heat vision. 
I hate that this book has made me use the word ‘literally’ so much in this rant.
I hate that this could possibly be more in continuity than Millennium.
Remember Millennium? Where Kara was in like...five pages? And she was warm, and kind, and promised to help Rose because it was the right thing to do, and oh yes, WAS PRESIDENT OF EARTH?!??! AND A CLASSY OLD LADY!?!?!?!?! WHO WAS STILL ALIVE AND KICKIN’ IN THE FAR FLUNG FUTURE!?!?!?!?!
I hate that I’m using my lunch hour to rant about how much I hate this comic.  
I hate that DC editorial seems hell-bent on erasing the interesting aspects of Kara’s character to sand her down to ‘the angry one’ or ‘Batman 2.0′
PART X - LET’S END ON SOME (?) POSITIVES: Don’t read this book! Don’t do it! Don’t waste your time and money!
Instead, check out ANYTHING ELSE. If you want mom!Kara, read Tom Taylor’s ‘Last Daughters of Krypton’ in the DC Nuclear Winter special. If you want heroic oldlady!Kara, read Millennium. Honestly? Pick up anything by Bendis that has Supergirl in it. It is miles away better than this. You want angry Kara working through her grief? Andreyko, Red Lantern, even Infected. ANYTHING BUT THIS. HECK, grab Superman of Metropolis instead! That has bad Kara characterization but at least she doesn’t end up dead. 
Anyways. This comic is bad. I wish it wasn’t! And this is now the SECOND TIME IN A ROW that Kara’s book ends on a terrible note before the character disappears from monthly comics for an unknown period of time.  
*screams into the void again*
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btsmosphere · 4 years ago
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~a positive word about networks~
I wanted to make this post as a bit of a rant, but a positive one. It sometimes seems with the amazing writing networks here, people only pay attention to them when something is going wrong. This is specifically for the wonderful people, and especially the amazing admin team at @thebtswritersclub where I am lucky to be part of the mod team.
Some people might be aware there was recently a concern brought up which was addressed and dealt with, and all is good now. This brought with it a wave of unacceptable hate directed towards the admins, but I thought rather than dwelling on that, I would like to add my thoughts in defense and praise of the incredible work done at this net, and I’m sure many others.
First of all, no one asked them to make these nets. They only do this to lift up creators, giving up their time with no pay and certainly not enough appreciation compared to the amount of work and effort that goes into making a net. To do this with such astounding professionalism, when this is a hobby of ours, in an online space, makes me admire them so much. As writers, we’re just trying to enjoy our fandoms, and these spaces have been organised to the same end.
Writing can often be a little isolating, putting your creations out for the world to see and just hoping for some sort of response. There are also certain kinds of fics that are less popular, but that does not make them any less worthy of love, and nets really help with all this. Beside sharing work and bringing exposure, they bring support as writers can connect with people, where they otherwise may not have been able to.
Nets help in so many ways. Creatively, we are able to discuss ideas with others, get inspired by projects or prompts run by the net and encourage each other. Serious work goes into making prompts and coming up with project ideas, reblogging the work of members, creating masterlists for said projects, etc etc. And again, it is all done for the good of the members and the fanfic community, and is so valuable.
The net admins are seriously dedicated people who work their asses off. Seriously, I’ve seen this team at work and they think of every possibility for inclusion, improvement, involvement. Everything is discussed so thoroughly. There is a fine balance to be struck with so many people gathered online, between keeping things safe as well as fun and genuine, and they get it bang on.
The admins are smart smart people, strong, intelligent, wise as hell and genuinely care about every. single. member in the net. It is truly inspiring to see and y’all have the audacity to try and make them feel unloved?? They are people and creators in their own right too, and they build and maintain nets ON TOP of their daily lives and their own writing.
Like, we’re talking over 100 people gathered in one place, yet somehow I count them all as friends, and together we feel like a family. People I trust and value, people I want to listen to, encourage and feel comfortable talking with. That does not happen on accident, and it is not easy to pull off this well either. The hard work of admins makes it all possible, and they have provided such an extraordinary space that I am truly grateful for, more than I can express.
So, this is my attempt at having a moment of appreciation for nets that get it right like this, their members, and above all, their admins. I’ve also learned a lot about accountability from these wonderful people, and when an issue arises, they are transparent and efficient in dealing with it. But the fact this happens so rarely means we usually don’t take the time to think about nets and all the good they do and the hard work involved.
On behalf of a grateful writer, and I’m sure all my fellow members of @thebtswritersclub I want to say thank you💜💜we see your work and dedication and admire it so much. You make it so much better to be a creator here
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serialreblogger · 4 years ago
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Hey! I'm thinking of reading Dracula, and knowing that's your eternal hyperfixation, I wanted to ask your thoughts, if you had any comments, suggestions, ect.
HEY WHY DIDN’T I SEE THIS SOONER I’M SO SORRY FRIEND
okay okay okay okay (...several people are typing...) SO
the first thing you should be aware of when reading Dracula is that it’s quite Victorian, so you might find it easier, especially on a first read, to get an annotated version (the Norton Critical Edition version is quite good) that puts footnotes in to explain all the outdated references to like, London penny-meat merchants and stuff. I would say it’s significantly easier to read than Lord of the Rings, but because it was written 200 years ago the difference in language means it’s not a simple read. (However, if you have absolutely any attraction to the Gothic aesthetic, Dracula is so very much worth the brainpower to slog through the rougher sentences. Like. “...the courtyard of a vast ruined castle, from whose tall black windows came no ray of light, and whose broken battlements showed a jagged line against the moonlit sky.” The whole book is like that. A bit stilted to contemporary readers, but also breathtakingly spot-on in its Spooky Factor.)
the second thing you should be aware of is that Dracula is extremely gay, but in a Tormented Victorian Closeted way. There’s a part where Jonathan climbs out a window that just. It’s uh. The descriptions are very,, metaphorical-sounding. Again, the whole book is like that, and sometimes it’s very fun and sometimes (lookin at Lucy’s whole thing) it’s significantly more unsettling if you pay attention to the weirdly sexy descriptions of how the protagonists interact with the vampires, but I think that’s part of what I find so fascinating about Dracula--it’s unsettling and strange and the pieces don’t fit together clearly, and I still don’t know quite what to make of it, but all the same the feeling of what Stoker’s saying comes through quite clearly. There’s a reason why so many Dracula adaptations have this narrative of a protagonist falling in forbidden love with the tormented Vampyre, yknow? There’s something so unmistakeably sympathetic about the character of Dracula, even when the narrative of the story goes out of its way to establish that he has no redeeming qualities or even proper personhood, that he’s just a monster. Because there’s something about the story (even without getting into the whole “Mina and Jon murked their boss” thing) that makes a reader wonder if that’s really the whole truth. If there isn’t something tragic about Dracula. If there isn’t something in him, if not of goodness, then at least of sorrow, instead of only fear.
Anyway I digress but I think we all knew that was gonna happen; point is: Jonathan and Dracula definitely had sex, Mina and Lucy were definitely in love, Seward’s got something weird goin on with the old professor (and also he’s just very weird, full stop. sir. sir please stop experimenting on your asylum inmates. sir i know this is victorian england but please Do Not), and Quincey, well, Quincey is an American cowboy with a bowie knife, and I think that’s all we really need to know.
ok and! the third thing you should be aware of is The Racism. Imperialist Britain, yo. Bram Stoker was Irish so like, it isn’t half as bad as some other authors of his time period (Rudyard Kipling anyone), but the racism is real and I don’t wanna gloss over that. The g**sy slur is used with abandon for a huge assortment of people groups, there’s a tacit as well as overt acceptance of the idea that West is superior to East, and because the educational system where I grew up is a joke and I can only learn things if I accidentally fall down the wikipedia hole of researching the insect genus hemiptera, i genuinely still don’t know how accurate the extensive history of Romania recounted in the first third of the book actually is. Oh also casual and blatant anti-blackness is verbalized by a character at least once. I’m pretty sure the racism has a metaphorical place in the framework of Dracula’s storytelling, but I couldn’t tell you what it is because I am not going to bother putting myself in the mindset of a racist white Victorian man. This is the mindset I am trying to unlearn. So: read with caution, critical thinking, and the double knowledge that even as the narrators are meant to be unreliable, so too is the author himself.
Finally, regarding interpretation: so personally I’m running with the opinion that Dracula is, at least partly, a metaphor for Stoker’s own queerness and internal conflict re: being queer, being closeted, and watching the torture his friend Wilde went through when the wealthy father of Wilde’s lover set out to ruin his life for daring to love his son. Whether this is true or not (I think it’s true, but hey, that’s analysis, baby), you can’t understand Dracula without knowing the social context for it (as with all literature--the author isn’t dead, not if you want to know what they were saying), and the social context for it is:
- Stoker was friends with Wilde, growing only closer after Wilde was outed
- Wilde was outed, as I said, because the father of his lover was wealthy and powerful and full of the most virulent kind of hatred. This is especially interesting because of how many rich, powerful parents just straight up die in Dracula and leave the main characters with no legal issues and a ridiculous amount of money, which is the diametrical opposite of what happened to Wilde
- Stoker idolized his mentor Henry Irving. Irving was a paradigm of unconventional relationships and self-built family, in a world where divorcees and children born out of wedlock were things to be whispered about in scandalized tones, not people to love and embrace. Irving was also famous for thriving off of manipulating those close to him and pitting friends against each other. Given the painstakingly vivid description Stoker provides for his titular vampire and how closely it matches Irving’s own appearance and demeanor, Irving was widely understood even at the time of writing to be the chief inspiration for the character of Dracula
- the book is dedicated to Stoker’s close friend, Hall Caine, a fellow writer whose stories centered around love triangles and accumulation of sins which threaten to ruin everything, only to be redeemed by the simple act of human goodness
- Stoker was Irish, but not Catholic (he was a Protestant of the Church of Ireland, a division of the Anglican Church). This may come as a surprise when you read the book and see All The Catholicism, Just Everywhere. Religion is actually a key theme in Dracula--most of the main characters start out your typical Good Victorian Anglican Skeptics, and need to learn through a trial-by-fire to trust in the rituals and relics of the Catholic Church to save them from Dracula’s evilness. Which is interesting. Because not only do these characters start off as dismissive towards these “superstitions” (in the same way they dismiss the “superstitions” of the peasant class on the outskirts of Dracula’s domain), but the narrative telling us “these superstitions are actually true!” cannot be trusted, when you know the author’s own beliefs.
(Bram Stoker is not saying what his characters are saying. This is the first and most important rule to remember, if you want to figure out Dracula.)
- The second-most famous character in the novel, after Dracula himself, is Van Helsing, whose first name is Abraham. Note that “Bram” is a declension of Abraham. What does this mean? I legitimately have no idea. But it’d be a weird coincidence, right? Like what even is the thought process there? “Oh, yeah, what should I name this character that comes in, makes overtly homoerotic statements willy nilly, and encourages everyone to throw rationality out the window and stake some vampires using the Eucharist? hmmmm how about ‘Me’”
ok wait FINAL final note: you legitimately do not have to care about any of this. I love Dracula because it has gay vibes and I love trying to figure it out, like an archaeologist sifting through sentence structure to find fragments that match the patterns I already know from historical research; but that’s not why you should love Dracula. The book itself is just straight up fun to read. Like I said, Stoker absolutely nails the exact vibe of spookiness that I love, the eerieness and elegance and vague but vivid fear of a full moon crossed by clouds at midnight. The characters are intriguing, especially Quincey gosh I love Quincey Morris but they’re very,, sweet? if i can say that about people i, personally, suspect of murder? They come together and protect each other against the terrible threat that is Dracula, and you don’t get that half as often as I’d like in horror media. I don’t even know if Dracula could qualify as “horror” proper, because it’s not about the squeamish creeping discomfort that “horror” is meant to evoke, it’s not the appeal of staring at a train wreck--it’s not horrifying. It’s eerie. It’s Gothic. It has spires and vampires and found family and cowboys, and to be honest, I don’t know what could be better than that.
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handlewithkara · 4 years ago
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Why would Karamel fans “move on” from Karamel?
I am puzzled by this concept that Karamel shouldn’t be rooting for Karamel anymore. It just boggles my mind in so many ways for so many reasons, I felt like jotting down some of them;  
1.) Shipping does not work that way. Look I could elaborate, but I think most people who have ever encountered shipping understand this aspect. 
2.) Kara has NOT expressed comparable romantic emotions towards anybody since Mon-El. 
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Look, I know there are fans who wish she would express that kind of romantic interest in other people, but looking at the show, it’s just a fact that it hasn’t happened. And since there is only one more season left, I don’t think bringing in somebody new would work, nor do I personally believe in any other relationships that have just been rather tepid. 
This is not a case of: Kara has found happiness with somebody new, you should be happy for her, because that flat out hasn’t happened. She just hasn’t gone to the same level of relationship and romantic interest with anybody else (wake me up when Kara kisses a person, has sex with them, moves in with them). 
Not all Karamel fans feel that way, but I consider myself one of the fans who is open to the concept in theory, because I do love Kara. But it just hasn’t happened. There just is not relationship that makes me consider “okay, you should really respect that Kara happens to romantically love this person now more than she did Mon-El”.
(as for Mon-El, yes he found somebody but to me season 3 made it clear that he was not happy with her and he ended things with her, they could have used Winn’s visit to tell us that Mon-El changed his mind on that or found somebody new altogether, but again, this is not what happened. As it stand the last what we knew of Mon-El was still that he was deeply unhappy to go back to the future and only did it out of duty)
3.) Kara wants romantic love. I get the concept of Kara not needing a romantic relationship to live and the sister relationship between Kara and Alex being the most important one. The thing about Kara is... she has always wanted love. In Supergirl’s pilot episode, we see her proactively looking for love by going on a blind date. 
In one of her timelinewise earliest moments where she could feasibly have urges she voices her desire to express herself romantically: 
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She explicitly expresses this in season 1: 
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Kara found love with Mon-El and lost it. And then she didn’t have any meaningful romantic progress for two years. She didn’t whine about it. She didn’t neglect her duties to search love. She was just basically still the same kick ass hero who helps others and supports her friends. 
So maybe one could argue, okay, maybe the drama with Mon-El turned Kara into a person who has no interest in romantic love anymore. Except ... to me (other than how that being a really sad story) again that didn’t happen. When William unexpectantly asks her out, she has a big smile and she does want to go on a date with him. And when I look at the scene where she expresses her frustration on how she can’t progress things with William 
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I don’t look at that scene and think that this is a woman who needs to learn she doesn’t need romantic relationships. I look at this scene and see a woman who wants love and it’s really unfair that she sholdn’t get to have one, that circumstances shouldn’t allow it for her. 
Especially: if Alex is allowed to have romantic relationships on the side without it threatening the Sisters Uber Alles status, why can’t Kara? Why would Kara’s romantic relationship be a threat to a sister ending when Alex’ relationship isn’t? 
To me it’s just really clear from Kara’s history on the show and the opinions she has expressed that Kara wants romantic love and to me it feels sad and unjust that she shouldn’t get to have one, especially with how long it has been since she had a relationship, especially when fellow heroes Nia and Brainy can have one and her sister can also have one. 
The arc of Kara’s romantic relationships has never been that she’s too thirsty and needs to learn to keep in her pants, not has it been that she doesn’t want it. It has overwhelmingly been that she wants it but things got in the way, things like duty, getting murdered by your high school teacher or alien invasions and time traveling inducing wormholes. 
Even if the message were that maybe Kara doesn’t like relationships enough, I still feel like the logical way to sensibly close up this arc would still be for Kara to get to experience a relationship without things getting in the way, so she can properly decide that maybe that isn’t what she wants. (I for one would argue: Kara has already kind of experienced that with James and it most certainly did not cure her from wanting a romantic relationship since she started a relationship with Mon-El soon after) 
4.) Kara and Mon-El’s season 3 ending sucked and provided no closure. I know there are people who did not like the relationship and hence probably didn’t pay much attention to Mon-El’s exit episode. But as a Karamel fan, of course the details matter to me. And the details sucked. And they didn’t just suck because “damn, I didn’t get my preferred couple together romantically”, but also because the details were intensely frustrating, From Kara’s point of view it is frustrating that she never got to hear the whole story (and all the bits I mentioned in my previous points in regards to Kara and her romantic arc in general). And from Mon-El’s point of view because Mon-El was very clearly unhappy when he left. 
In the end, there are generally two reasons why people “move on”, either because they have gotten closure (something that wasn’t the case with Kara and Mon-El) or because something better came along (whether within the show or in a different show or fandom, and for many people that just isn’t the case, either because good ships are rare or because people still care about Kara and nothing better has come along for Kara)
If the writers didn’t want to continue Karamel as a romantic storyline, there is ways they could have gone about it. Very easily. Instead they left the characters on these deeply unsatisfying note. There is a lot of options they could have gone for which I would still have disliked as a fan of the Kara&Mon-El romantic relationship, but I would have grudgingly accepted. 
They could have put Kara into a new relationship very quickly and have her drop lines that downplay her relationship with Mon-El and have Mon-El be happy for her. (basically what they did with James)
They could have had him return the necklace to symbolically put an end to Karamel’s romantic relationship, for Kara to give it to Alex or her next love interest. Or Mon-El could have given it to Alura, who was right there, since it was her necklace originally. Instead, after a season that put intentional emphasis on the necklace, Mon-El leaves still having it.
They could have had Mon-El and Imra reunite melodramatically in the finale and have him declare his feelings for Kara were just an illusion, Imra is who is supposed to be with. It could even have worked as a nice parallel to Kara saying she nearly lost herself when she tried to pursue violence against Reign. Except that just isn’t what happened, this isn’t what they wrote for Mon-El. What they did write is Mon-El smiling at the thought of spending more time with Kara (even giving Brainy a line that draws emphasis to the fact that Mon-El is smiling) and being saddened when Brainy tells him he can’t, he has to go back. 
So, let’s say, maybe end of season 3 was too quick for the writers to come up with something good. Well in that case they had another opportunity to put a final lid on the relationship when Winn came back for a guest episode. They could have had Winn return the necklace and tell Kara that Mon-El died. Kara would have been a bit sad and as a  viewer I would have gotten the message, okay, he is not coming back, any appearance is at most going to be an AU. 
They could have used Winn to tell us Mon-El returned back to Imra and they have seven children now. Again as a viewer I would have gotten the message, okay, so the writers tell me Mon-El and Imra are supposed to be together in every universe, Mon-El can’t be a good character if he leaves seven kids behind. 
Instead they did nothing. They left Karamel in complete undefined limbo (with nothing coming in to replace it or otherwise directly contradict it)  with the last note they ended on being Mon-El going back to the future because Brainy tells him that he HAS to, not because this is what Mon-El would have chosen, because Mon-El needs to be a big damn hero, not because that is what makes Mon-El happy. 
5.)  This is the last season, if there is a time to hope for a happy ending, people do understand that it is now, right? Especially since the show has shown in the 100th episode that they are willing to bring Mon-El back for special occasions. So there is a precedent. They brought him back once for a very special episode, so why would it be unreasonable for me to hope that they would do it again, even if it were only for an Easter Egg? 
Especially since I really enjoyed his guest appearance and how they wrote him. Even if they didn’t want to return to romantic Karamel, I would still want him to return and see them again, kicking butt together, giving each other advice. That would still make me happy and I would be rooting for that regardless of what Kara’s romantic choices are, because I like their characters and I think they have great chemistry together and I want to see them do scenes together. 
So no, I am not getting my hopes up for anything beyond an episode 100 style guest appearnce. But I don’t feel guilty for hoping this or for saying if they were wiling to give more, I’d be very happy. Because Kara is still there, still wants love and nobody has taken Mon-El’s place. Because their relationship was left on a tragic note. And because the last time they brought him back, it felt like it was on good terms, I really enjoyed it and it was respectful towards Karamel’s history, even if it wasn’t overtly in your face romantic (but open enough so fans could see something if they wanted to [because of the angry face Kara makes when Myxy talks badly of Mon-El, because of the face she makes when he gets killed, because of the face she makes when he walks past and her eyes follow him]. 
If all that happaned was Mon-El having a short cameo rather than a proper getting together arc, yeah, I would be kind of sad. But I just recently wrote a lengthy post about the many things Karamel did get already (because Karamel did get the kisses and the lseeping together and the living together and the declaring their love to each other and the true love’s kiss), and even though O do strongly think that there is still a story there, I could live with it being just a cameo. To me it would still be a nice note to leave the characters on considering their history as we have seen it so far. 
Of course people who just never saw the chemistry or the potential are free to hope for something else, but since I’m a shipper, I did see the chemistry and the potential, so yeah, why would I stop now? 
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natromanxoff · 5 years ago
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Queen live at Colston Hall in Bristol, UK - November 18, 1975
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The photos could be from either night.
This article from the November 29 issue of Sounds chronicles the second night in Bristol.
Queen triumphant
QUEEN ARE the type of group that make a man want to abandon rock writing. They pose questions and never provide answers. They exist in their own space-time continuum, visible and audible but keeping their secrets to themselves.
On the surface they couldn't be a nicer bunch of people, but they carry English reticence to an epitome. It isn't, as Geoff Barton said two weeks ago, that they're boring, it's just that they're reserved. Or in writer parlance, they don't automatically provide colourful copy. All my instincts as a writer tell me that there is a great story in that band, but after two nights with them I'm hardly any the wiser.
Skin tight
That their insularity has a lot to do with them being one of the most amazing heavy-metal and/or rock bands in Britain - with all the signs that they'll end up monsters on the order of Zep - is fairly obvious, but just how much bearing it has on the matter is hard to say. The enigmas they might pose mightn't even have answers.
Is there any logical reason why they present an image and persona straight out of the Beatles school of interlocking chemistry?
John is reserved, almost nonchalant on stage, as if it's all in a small, personal joke. When asked how he saw himself within the framework of the band he replied, with a small smile, "I'm the bassist".
Roger is his opposite, the cheeky sidekick in a Clint Eastwood movie, and attracting a lot of cheesecake attention in America and Japan.
Freddie is an original - one of the most dynamic singers to tread the boards in quite a few years. His attraction is obvious.
Brian is perhaps the biggest enigma of all. What is this seemingly frail, gaunt astronomer doing on that stage, striding purposefully and blasting diamond-hard rock? They're all equally strong personalities - like the Beatles there's no one major focal point. Ask four fans who their dream Queen is and you'll get four different answers.
Queen have been busy lads these past few months. Having disassociated themselves from their former management and joined with John Reid, the fourth album was seen to. Reid decided that a tight schedule wouldn't cause them undue harm, and figured on two months to record before embarking on this current tour.
Only Queen are driven to better each previous album - which at this stage of the game is obviously producing some excellent results - and 'A Night At The Opera' turned into a saga - culminating in 36-hour mixing sessions in an effort to allow at least a few days for rehearsal. In the end they managed three and a half days at Elstree with four hours off to videotape the promotional film for 'Bohemian Rhapsody'.
Their first few dates had not been without errors and the quartet were still not feeling totally comfortable their second night in Bristol, fourth night of the tour. You'd never know it, though.
Like all other aspects of the group, the stage is sophisticated. A black scrim provides a backdrop bounded by a proscenium of lights both front and rear. At each side the p.a. rises like a mutant marriage of Mammon and Robby the Robot. Amp power is readily evident but the most extraordinary is Brian May's subtle set up: nine Vox boxes stepping back in rows of three. The only packing crate visible is holding a tray of drinks, and you may rest assured that no roadie will rush, crawl or lurk across the stage while the show is in progress unless it's to rescue Freddie's mike from the clawing crowd.
As the auditorium darkens the sound of an orchestra tuning up is heard over the p.a. The conductor taps his baton on the music stand and a slightly effete voice welcomes the audience to A Night At The Opera. The Gilbert & Sullivan portion of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' follows, a brief glimpse of Freddie is allowed, and then in a blast of flares and white smoke the blitzkrieg begins.
Roger is barely visible behind his kit, just his eyes and tousled locks. John is wearing a white suit and playing the-man-who-must-stand-still-or-it-will-all-blow-away. Brian is slightly medieval in his green and white Zandra Rhodes top, while Freddie is...
Around his ankles his satin white pants flare like wings - fleet footed Hermes. Everything north of the knee is skin tight - tighter than skin tight - with a zip-up front open to AA rating. But further south, definitely in X territory, lurks a bulge not unlike the Sunday Telegraph.
There have been sex objects and sex bombs, superstar potency and the arrogant presentation of this all-important area, but never has a man's weaponry been so flagrantly showcased. Fred could jump up on the drum stand and shake his cute arse, leap about and perform all manner of amazing acrobatics, but there it was, this rope in repose, barely leashed tumescence, the Queen's sceptre. Oh to be that hot costume, writhing across the mighty Fred!
Phallic
Freddie is not pretty in the conventional sense of the word; like Mick Jagger of '64, he is his own convention. Also like the Jagger of the time, his stage persona and action is unlike anything else. Although it borrows - like most of the group's plagiarisms - slightly from Zeppelin, in tandem with Freddie's supreme assurance and belief in himself - he always refers to himself as a star - it explodes into something that is a constant delight to watch.
He reacts to his audience almost like an over-emotional actress - Gloria Swanson, say, or perhaps Holly Woodlawn playing Bette Davis. At the climax of the second night in Bristol he paused at the top of the drum stand, looked back over the crowd and with complete, heartfelt emotion placed his delicate fingers to lips and blew a kiss. Any person who can consume themselves so completely in such a clichéd showbiz contrivance deserves to be called a star.
Freddie's real talent, though, is with his mike stand. No Rod Stewart mike stand callisthenics here, just a shortee stick that doubles as a cock, machine gun, ambiguous phallic symbol, and for a fleeting moment an imaginary guitar. He has a neat trick of standing quite still in particularly frantic moments and holding the stand vertically from his crotch up, draw a fragile finger along its length, ever closer to the taunting eyes that survey his audience.
Their show contains lots of bombs and smoke, lots of lights, lots of noise. They fulfil the function of supremely good heavy metal - i.e. you don't get a second to think about what's going on. When they do let up for a few minutes, it's only so you can focus in on the bright blue electric charge crackling between your ears.
Bulldozer
Dominating the sound is Roger's drumming, a bulldozer echo that bounces like an elastic membrane, meshing with your solar plexus so that your body pulses in synch with the thunder. Tuned into that, everything else is just supremely nice icing.
For three days rehearsal, after eight months off the road Bristol was extremely impressive. In speculative mood I quizzed people on how long they thought it would take to headline Madison Square Garden. I was thought a radical at a year and a half. John Reid smilingly assured me it would take a year.
That Queen should end up with John Reid is an entirely logical proceeding. Everything about Queen demands that the world eventually kowtows at their feet in complete acquiescence - so big that bodyguards have to accompany them at every step. Well, no - they found that an annoyance in Japan, but, you know, huge.
Such status demands a Reid or a Peter Grant, and whatever the causes for their leaving Jack Nelson and Trident, an elegant group like Queen is going to look for a man with class. Reid found the idea of managing a group interesting, and having to deal with four strong personalities a challenge. He only concerns himself with their business and ensuring that the year ahead is mapped out. In January they begin a jaunt through the Orient, Australia and America, by which time it's March and they begin preparations for the next album.
Reid's prediction of a year was proven highly credible the next evening in Cardiff. The band had still not paused from the rush up to the tour and spent most of the day relaxing and sleeping - no doubt a factor in their near recumbent profile. Also, unlike most groups, they were keeping their dissatisfaction with the show to themselves.
They stopped off at Harlech TV on the way to see a cassette of the video for 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. The general consensus was quite good for four hours, with much laughter during the operetta. Brian finds film of the group educational - the first time he saw himself was a Mike Mansfield opus for 'Keep Yourself Alive' - "It was 'All right fellows, give it everything you've got but don't move off that spot.' It was terrible." You don't like Mansfield, eh? "Oh, I hate him - we all do... I was horrified when I saw it - I couldn't believe we looked that bad. I looked very static - seeing myself has taught me a lot about stage movement. Some of the things I do are planned for effect, but it's mostly just feeling the audience and communicating that back to them."
Arriving at the motel - several miles out of town - Freddie immediately fell asleep, John held court of a sort, joined later by Brian, while Roger went jogging, a daily event when touring. Tuning in to rock via Bill Haley and Tommy Steele, he became a drummer because he was better at it than guitar. All through school he was in bands; he only went to dental school out of "middle class conditioning, and it was a good way to stay in London without having to work". His mother thought it a bit strange when he opted for a career as a rock star, but she doesn't worry too much now.
The concert starts in much the same manner as the previous night, but there are signs that tonight is work, with posing an afterthought. The endings to most of their songs are magnificent and majestic, especially 'Flick Of The Wrist' and the rapid harmonies of 'Bad Boy Leroy Brown'.
Maniacal
The audience, seeing their faces in town for the first time, are vociferous in their appreciation. Guys know all the words to every song, yelling enthusiastically at every effect and solo. The band picks up, Freddie receiving the crowd beneficently, telling them they’re beautiful.
As the show builds it is obvious that things are gelling more. The previous night Brian had seemed totally out of place, not moving too much, taking solos with the weirdest half blank half possessed stare, talking to himself; cocking ear towards guitar. He was the proverbial stranger in a strange land, one step removed from the plane inhabited by you and me.
Tonight he moves fluidly, the gonzo lead guitarist of a gonzo band. His expressions are just as maniacal, but it only makes him look more demonic. His solo in 'Brighton Rock', an exposition in riffing and echo, is a treat because of his physical response to both music and audience, complete with ham acting. Freddie gets into the same game on 'The Prophet's Song', where he conducts an acapella madrigal with himself. It's a pretty commanding moment.
It’s soon after this that Madison Square seems reasonable. About a minute into 'Stone Cold Crazy' it becomes very obvious that Queen have suddenly Plugged In. Found the metal music machine and Connected. Freddie's movements explode in perfect unison with the music, the lights and surroundings go crazy, and the audience goes berserk.
Freddie asks for requests and receives a roar out of which one can vaguely make 'Liar'. Fred walks along the stage, nodding, agreeing he will do this one and that one while the kids roar on. "I'll tell you what - we'll do them all!"
'Doing Alright' opens slow and portentously. Queen's variation of light and shade is one of the major factors in their popularity, but even so the quiet sections frequently find the audience's mind wandering. One kid starts getting a joint together, totally forgetting it when everything blasts off again; guys talk among themselves, only to instantly leap to their feet, fists flying to the beat.
'Doing Alright' changes into a cha-cha beat, Freddie snapping his fingers, the coolest hipster in town, and then instantly drops into faster-than-light drive - the whole row next to me leaps to their feet as a man, rocking back and forth as Brian roars into a blinding solo.
Two songs later, in 'Seven Seas of Rye', the kids break - very fast - and in five seconds half the audience is a seething mass in front of the stage, climbing on each other in pyramids, sudden openings appearing as a splintering seat sends a few bodies to the floor.
The rest of the show is equally intense, especially for a couple of minutes during 'Liar; where Fred and Brian merge into a tight little triangle with Roger while John stands in front of the bass drum, staring out with his small smile.
Freddie has treated his encores - 'Big Spender' and 'Jailhouse Rock' - differently on successive nights, once appearing in a kimono and in Bristol with rather rude tight white shorts, giving the song title new emphasis. In Cardiff, though, he doesn't bother to change at all. Later it transpired that Brian had twisted his ankle during 'Liar'. While he’s attended to, kids out front pick up chair slivers to keep as mementos.
On the bus back to the hotel Brian sits quietly at the back, chatting with two girls. John sits at the front, as always. Freddie stares out of the window, lost in his own world. Roger bounces around, starts a pillow fight with Brian - which stops as soon as Brian scores a direct hit to the face - then discovers an eight track of 'Sheer Heart Attack', punching it through the channels as he conducts the group. The two hours towards which they have channelled the day's energies are spent.
Ambition
That Queen have become a top attraction through a fair degree of plagiarism is amusing. Stealing is nothing new in rock (or any art for that matter) and mostly Queen use the borrowed material better than the originals. That they would be big I don't think anybody really doubted. All four have immense desire to be successful, and that kind of ambition will keep them slogging until they achieve it.
But there are popular heavy metal bands and there are popular h-m bands. From watching Queen's audience it is apparent that Queen speak for them in a way that bands such as the Who and the Stones and the Beatles spoke (and continue to speak) to their audience. Uriah Heep may be great at what they do, but five years after their demise who'll remember them? Creedence Clearwater Revival demonstrate the same thing - who remembers them? And yet five years ago they were the largest band in the world.
Queen will probably always be remembered, because as their tour is beginning to demonstrate, they have the ability to actualise and encompass the outer limits of their sense of self-importance. Queen and their music, presentation, production - everything about them says that they are more important than any other band you've every heard, and who has there been, so far, who has objected? Certainly not the 150,000 people (plus 20,000 a day) who bought 'Bohemian Rhapsody' in the first 20 days of its release. Certainly not me.
See you at Madison Square Garden.
[text © J. Ingham 2007; photos © Kate Simon]
~ You can see the photos which was mentioned on the article, from the link on the title. ~
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sepublic · 4 years ago
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The Unspoken Story with Representation & Diversity
           Y’all ever have this feeling, where you see a character… And their experiences just immediately resonate with you, and you just feel and KNOW exactly what they’ve been through, without them necessarily having to say or present it aloud within the text? Like you can tell this character borrows exactly from this specific experience, and so while others unfamiliar with it may not get the idea, or need clarification… For the kind of audience that really gets and understands how it goes without saying, it’s an almost clever, implicit show-not-tell way of conveying to those who get it, exactly what’s going on? AKA subtext?
           An example would be this one time in Fullmetal Alchemist, where we have characters Jerso and Zampano, who’ve been experimented on and given the ability to transform into monstrous chimeras, and then back. Despite being able to function as both regular human AND chimera however, Jerso and Zampano differ from their teammates Darius and Heinkel in that they’re not big fans of their new bodies… They actively hate them and feel uncomfortable with them, and want to go back to being regular humans. And to me, I never got this at the time as I was a young and inexperienced kid- I made up in my head that maybe Jerso and Zampano’s alterations caused them chronic pains, or something like that. Otherwise, I had to wonder if it was just insufficient writing…?
           But then I met someone, a trans woman and a fellow Fullmetal Alchemist fan. And she explained how she immediately understood Jerso and Zampano’s experiences, and how it connected to her own dysphoria. There wasn’t anything wrong with the body she used to have, it just… wasn’t her, and that’s why she felt so much more liberated when she recognized her true identity! And when I heard this from her, it just… clicked. It suddenly made SO much sense, and I never again questioned Jerso and Zampano’s dilemma, never tried to justify it in my head by providing headcanons of downsides to their chimera forms. 
          I was reassured that this kind of experience and feelings were real and valid, that the story didn’t have to justify them to me because they already tangibly existed in real life- This WAS something that happens, in a sense. I didn’t have to worry about confirming it for myself when I knew that others got the idea, since just because I didn’t understand, that doesn’t mean it’s not there. I didn’t personally relate, but I knew it existed, and thus I could feel sympathy and believe in this by trusting the experiences of others... My experiences are not universal, and this of course has an effect on how I engage with media, ensuring my knowledge and analysis is always limited.
          I’ve heard real-life anecdotes about how dysphoria can make someone feel like a monster, and while this hasn’t been outright confirmed within Fullmetal Alchemist itself… There’s always the potential of subtext. Unintentional, or otherwise- Given the series’ recurring themes of finding a body you’re actually comfortable with, or coming to terms with it, as part of the whole disability experience with characters such as our titular protagonist.
          It’s a sort of implication to a specific experience, a metaphor for it, that allows those who get it to instantly fill in the gaps. To get into a philosophical tangent, it reminds me of how stories are really defined, a lot, not just by the author; But how an audience engages with them, how stories are defined in different ways by different people. Now, obviously there are examples where some parts of the text are outright indisputable and not up for debate, such as Star Wars being Anti-Fascist for example. But my point is, writing a story can involve a lot of thought as to the type of audience you’re writing for… Especially when it comes to representation.
          When it comes to representation, when someone is writing for a marginalized group, the writer doesn’t need to lay down much within the text; Because they KNOW that the people they write it for will get it. Others not of that group and not familiar with its struggles can still generally get by, but for those who really engage with the material, or share that same experience that is being alluded towards… There’s an added depth, a bonus facet to the story that only adds to and enriches the experience, even more than it already is.
           And, sometimes it can be a little frustrating, to trying to convey this to someone who doesn’t quite get it, and you start to wonder if maybe you’re just projecting a bit. Maybe this is all in your head, it’s not really there, or that wasn’t necessarily the author’s intention at least. You know there’s something that’s supported by how this characters shares this experience; It’s not stated within the text, but you can tell it’s there, because that’s such an integral part of the experience you’re used to, and the character is clearly a part of that as well. And when you apply this consideration, it just suddenly puts everything into a new light, adds that additional depth as I mentioned earlier…
          And you really can’t ignore it, because you feel it just adds so much enriching layers to the media, that maybe you’re doing it a disservice to not openly acknowledge and defend this take as if it were real. You feel you have to defend this interpretation of yours, because you feel that this character really, clearly is meant to connect to that experience that resonates with you and others; And it can be a little frustrating if others just don’t get it, even if you can’t necessarily blame them for not doing so. It’s because you know the text is talking about people like you, so it feels like you really are more of an expert on this matter, that you’ve got a lot to add that needs to be taken into consideration, if the author is setting up your group to have an inherent advantage in understanding what’s going on.
          When asked to explain yourself, you feel a little embarrassed because maybe you’re relying too much on your own experience and not the actual text… And it feels almost silly to cite yourself as the main, if not the only necessary, point of evidence. You start to question and doubt if what you and others have gone through, is worth considering. What you’re saying sounds stupid at face-value because it lacks context, and a lot of things without context sound flimsy… Aloud, from a ‘rational’ standpoint I suppose, it sounds foolish to rely on such personal emotions, because surely the author doesn’t know you specifically and wasn’t drawing from what you went through.
          Maybe you’re unloading a bunch of stuff that isn’t necessarily relevant to the subject, maybe you’re asking too much for people to connect your experiences to what’s in the text, and thus you’re really stretching things… And handing out waytoo much information as well. It can feel like you’re boiling down your reasoning to, “Because I said so,” and that doesn’t sound right nor fair to the person you’re conveying your take towards, insisting they take you at face-value without being given their owed explanation, because anyone should be questioning and critical of what they’re given.
          Perhaps you just need to ‘detach’ yourself from things, look at it objectively… But what is objective, what is the default perspective? I don’t think there actually is one. So when you have to approach the text as JUST the text, you remember that that text is being written by someone, and that someone has a lot of things in their head that influences them, but not everything can be explicitly written down. A lot of the inspirations and experiences that this creator draws from aren’t shared amongst everyone who engages with their story.
          And if you feel this creator is resonating with that specific experience of yours, you become a lot more confident that this is where they were drawing from, and thus this is being alluded towards between the lines; Because it just makes so much more sense this way! You might be wrong- But what if you’re right? You don’t want to discourage people from finding stuff that could be out there, anything is better than nothing, creation and discovery should be enabled, even on the off-chance that there’s nothing there, because at least not you know for sure there isn’t anything, and thus your curiosity has been sated to an extent.
          Even if the creator hadn’t intended it to be this way, the experiences of others can reassure them that there’s nothing more that needs to be said, because they alone can fill in the gaps… And it kind of ties into how a lot of media intentionally leaves stuff open for interpretation, or at least allows certain takes. It’s kind of like how a lot of fans resonated with Jenny from My Life as a Teenage Robot, as her struggles feel so topical to that of a trans person; And while the creator confessed to never intending this, they could recognize the similarities between what they’d written and what trans people go through, so maybe there IS a connection there to consider!
          TL;DR Diversity and Representation IS in fact important, and a vital part of not only engaging with media, but just with the experiences of others in general. It can reveal meaning that isn’t immediately obvious to others, and/or create it by recognizing the fundamental similarities within the text to real life experiences, and how that piece of media’s themes both contribute towards and are supported by what a person or group has witnessed. Your experiences DO matter, even if they’re a minority; Perhaps especially because of this, as it gives you a new and rare angle that is not often known, and this piece of media’s connection to that experience can be used as a medium to convey it to others who don’t resonate the same way.
          It is through media that people can learn about the experiences of others even if they’ve never went through such things personally… An experience so intimately conveyed that you may as well be there, you can imagine yourself there, and so you don’t exactly have to have gone through it in real life to now understand- Especially since making someone go through that experience in real life has both logistical and ethical concerns. It encourages empathy, where you may not necessarily know what this person is going through; But you’re willing to open your mind, consider, listen, and change and/or add to your current knowledge and understanding.
          It’s also important to remember that even people within the same group have different ways of engaging with that specific experience, and that these diverse takes are all valid and worth considering; So if a person from that same group as you differs, perhaps consider listening? Of course, if someone believes there’s depth and the other insists there isn’t, perhaps hearing out the former option provides more room for discussion and thought, that while not canon, can pay off and inspire in other ways regardless, and thus be meaningful and worthwhile in the end.
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