#i think these guys would fit so well together from the little bits i’ve got

[a-bucket-in-the-void]

very gently hands you gossamer. can our lil rat guys be buddies :3

yes absolutely!!

what’s his personality like? how did he show up at the hotel (i’m assuming we’re doing this in season two)? is there a story line you’d want light to play out?

[wolverigrl]

The first date

Hugh Jackman x reader (actress)

!Disclaimer! I made some small changes in the last parts! The movie they made is a fictional one about Lady Deadpool. Everything takes place in 2015. Y/n is in her late 20s. Blake and Ryan got married long before and I changed the ages of their and Hugh's kids so it would fit more!

Warnings: none, only some swearing here and there and a bit fluff, not proofread!!

Enjoy!

Previous part

---------------------------------------------------

The early morning breeze was cool as I jogged through Central Park, the soft hum of the city waking up in the background. The familiar rhythm of my footsteps against the pavement was oddly comforting, almost like a meditation. I pulled my black baseball cap lower, shielding my eyes from the rising sun, and zipped up my running jacket a bit more. My leggings clung comfortably to my legs, and I felt grounded, my mind clear, my body moving with ease.

Jogging here had become part of my routine, a way to escape for a moment. The quiet mornings felt like a reset. As I slowed my pace and started walking toward the park exit, my breathing still steady, I noticed two people approaching from the side, their faces lighting up in recognition.

"Excuse me... are you y/n?" the guy asked, his voice a little shaky with excitement.

I smiled softly, adjusting my cap. "Yeah, that’s me."

The girl next to him looked at me with wide eyes, already fumbling for her phone. "Oh my God, we are big fans! Can we take a picture with you?"

I chuckled, nodding. "Of course, let’s do it."

We huddled together, her phone snapping a few pictures. The guy, who looked like he was around his early twenties, lingered for a moment longer, hesitating before speaking.

“You probably hear this all the time." he began, "but you really inspired me. I’ve always wanted to act, but I didn’t have the courage to pursue it. Seeing you do what you love gave me the push I needed so I just joined a local theater group."

For a moment, his words hung in the air, and I felt a rush of warmth. It wasn't every day someone said something so meaningful.

"That’s amazing! I’m so glad I could inspire you. Keep at it, okay? It’s tough, but if it’s your passion, it’s always worth it."

He nodded, his face full of excitement and we hugged each other as a goodbye. As they walked away, I called out, “You made my day! Love you guys!” Their faces lit up even more, and I couldn't help but feel grateful for moments like this.

This encounter left me with a good feeling, and as I walked back home, I couldn’t help but feel lighter. Connecting with people like that reminded me why I started this journey in the first place.

Back in my apartment, I kicked off my shoes and collapsed onto the couch. My mind wandered to everything that had happened over the past few days—work, interviews, photoshoots—but one thing stuck out more than the rest: Hugh. I had been thinking about him more than usual, and after yesterday’s intense moment, it was hard not to.

Still, before I let my thoughts drift too far, I got got into the bathroom for a quick refreshing shower. After that I changed into a comfy office look, grabbed my phone and dialed my parents. I hadn’t caught up with them in a while, and I missed hearing their voices.

“Y/n! Pumpkin! How’s our superstar?” my mom’s voice greeted me on the other end.

I smiled, sinking into the cushions. "Super busy, as usual. But everything’s going well. I'll have a meeting with the team today. lots of interviews coming up."

We chatted for a while about my schedule, how they were doing, and the usual family updates. I purposely avoided mentioning anything about Hugh. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell them, but I wasn’t ready for that conversation yet. Not when things between us were still so undefined.

After saying goodbye, I got up to get ready for my meeting at the office. As I was applying a bit of makeup, my phone buzzed on the counter. Hugh’s name appeared on the screen.

HUGH: Good morning, beautiful❤️ How's your day starting?

I couldn’t help but smile as I typed back, already feeling my heart speed up a little.

Y/N: Good morning handsome🥰 Doing pretty good so far. Just came back from my morning run. How about yours?

Almost immediately, his reply came through.

HUGH: I still don’t know how you can enjoy running😅 Mine's good too. Picked coffee with a friend and now we're at his house already working.

Y/N: Maybe you're just getting old?👀

HUGH: Why so mean? Did you trip on your run?

I snapped a quick selfie in the mirror with my tongue out and send it to him.

Y/N: I'm not mean. It was a legitimate question. I'm heading to the office now! Wish me luck!😘

HUGH: Looking great as always! And good luck, though you don’t need it. You always kill it sweetheart😘

A moment later, another message appeared, this time with a photo of Hugh, standing in what looked like an unfinished house. He was wearing a tight-fitting shirt, his arms slightly dusted with sawdust, his hair messy in a way that only made him look better. I paused, biting my lip. He looked really good. And my mind, much to my frustration, flashed back to that kiss.

Y/N: Somebody pls call the fire department🔥

HUGH: Lady, stop exaggerating😂

I chuckled, shaking my head. There was something so annoyingly attractive about how casual he was, even when he looked like that. After a few more texts, I realized I had to leave or I’d be late.

The management office was buzzing with energy when I arrived, as usual. I greeted everyone warmly, settling into the meeting room where we began discussing upcoming interviews and events. Everything was going smoothly, just the usual PR talk—until one of the managers, Sam, leaned forward with a more serious expression.

“So, we’ve been thinking,” he began. “The buzz around you and Hugh has been great for both of your images. The movie’s coming out soon, and the fan speculation has been... let’s just say, active”

I nodded slowly, already sensing where this was going.

“We think it would be smart to keep that momentum going." Sam continued. “Even after the release of the movie, we want you two to keep up the appearance of having something going on. Publicly, deny it in interviews, of course. But tease the people a bit more. Keep them guessing.”

I blinked, processing what he was saying. "So, you want us to pretend we’re together, but not really confirm anything?"

Sam nodded. "Exactly. It’ll keep the public engaged, and your fanbases will stay hooked. It’s good for both of you."

The idea sat heavy in my chest. I could see why they wanted it—it made sense from a PR standpoint—but the thought of turning something personal into a game made me uneasy. What if it messed things up between Hugh and me? What if it turned whatever we were trying to figure out into a spectacle?

“I’ll talk to Hugh about it." I said carefully. “And I think it’s best if you reach out to his team as well, just to make sure we’re all on the same page.”

Sam smiled, satisfied. "Good call. Let us know what you both decide."

They nodded, and we moved on to other topics. I was particularly excited when they mentioned a potential collaboration with a fashion brand. Modeling for a brand had always been a dream, and eagerly agreed.

After sorting out some paperwork, I left the office, my mind still swirling with everything we discussed. As I stepped outside, my phone rang. It was Chris.

"Hey!" he greeted me. "I'm in New York earlier than planned. Are you free?"

Of course, I agreed, and we arranged to meet up at his hotel. Soon, we were stroling through the city together, talking about everything from movies to work. Even though my phone buzzed several times, I ignored it, wanting to be fully present with Chris.

After a while, Chris turned to me with a grin. "So, about those rumors with you and Hugh... anything you want to share?" I felt my stomach twist. Lying to I Chris didn't sit right with me, but Hugh and I had agreed that only Ryan and Blake knew about us. So, I gave him the standard answer.

"We’re just friends,” I said, not quite meeting his eyes. “You know how the rumors go. Our Managers want us to play along because it looks good. That’s all.”

Chris raised an eyebrow, clearly not convinced but letting it slide. “If you say so.”

Then, with a sudden shift in tone, he said, “Actually... I’ve been meaning to tell you. I met someone.”

I blinked, surprised. "What? When?"

“Not too long ago. Her name’s Alba. She’s incredible—smart, sweet, talented and down-to-earth. We’ve been spending a lot of time together lately.”

As Chris spoke, his eyes lit up, and I could tell he was smitten. I felt a surge of happiness for him, pulling him into a tight hug. “Chris, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you.”

He smiled, clearly touched by my excitement, and we spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around the city, talking about Alba, his family and how things were going. Eventually, I had the idea to skip the pub and order takeout instead. Chris agreed, but only on one condition.

"We have to watch a Disney movie!" He said with eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Deal!" I laughed.

After heading back to my place, we posted a photo of us together on Instagram, and as expected, the comments looded in.

>>ginainabottle: Where's Hugh?😭<<

>>markix69: Y/n always with the dilfs. QUEEN💯<<

>>teddy1xoxo: How is it living my dream?❤️😭<<

I finally checked my messages and saw a few from Hugh.

HUGH: Have fun tonight😘

HUGH: Meeting up already?

HUGH: Everything okay?

Guilt twisted in my stomach and I quickly called him.

"Hey.." I said softly when he picked up. "I'm so sorry I didn't respond earlier. I was just... you know how it is... We've been talking non-stop."

"Y/n it's fine." Hugh replied, but there was something off in his tone. "What've you two been up to?"

I told him everything--how we spend the day walking around, catching up and now were getting ready for a movie night.

"Chris is still here, actually." I added. "We're about to watch The Little Mermaid."

There was a pause before Hugh spoke again, and I could swear there was a hint of something... maybe jealousy? But I brushed it off.

"I miss you." he said, his voice softer now.

"I miss you too." I replied, smiling at he thought of seeing him soon.

"Oh, by the way." I added remembering the management's idea. "My team suggested we tease the fans a bit more online. Even after the movie releases."

Hugh chuckled. "Yeah, we can play around with it. Deny everything but drop a few hints. But what do you think?"

I bit my lip, thinking back to the conversation with my team. "I'm not sure, honestly. I don't want the media or public pressure to affect what we're building between us, you know? But if you're okay with it, maybe we should continue."

Hugh chuckled, the tension easing from his voice. "Like a soft launch, huh? So, we hint at things but never really confirm it?"

"Exactly." I said, smiling at the idea now that it was being said out loud. "We can have fun with it. But still deny things if people ask outright."

"Deal," he said, his tone light again. "Let's tease them a little, but keep the mystery alive."

We both laughed at the absurdity of it, and the playful tone of the conversation helped ease my earlier guilt. Then, Hugh's voice turned a bit more serious, though stillwarm. "By the way... how about gym and breakfast tomorrow? Just the two of us?"

I hesitated, not out of uncertainty but because of how much I wanted it. "Like... our first real date?" I asked, grinning into the phone.

"Yep. Our first official date." he confirmed, the excitement in his voice clear.

"Then, it's a yes!" I said, feeling butterflies stir in my stomach at the hought. "Where should we meet?

We hashed out the details and after a few more minutes of casual banter, we finally said our goodbyes, both of us feeling lighter.

As soon as I hung up, I turned to find Chris giving me a curious look from the couch. "So. first date, huh?" he teased, raising an eyebrow.

I sighed, knowing I couldn't hide it anymore. "Yeah, fine. You got me," I admitted, plopping down beside him. "Hugh and I... there's something going on. But we're keeping it quiet for now. Chris grinned, clearly happy for me. "I had a feeling. And honestly? I'm happy for you. Hugh's a good guy He was always super nice when I had the chance talking to him."

"Thanks, Chris. It's just complicated, you know? With the media and all."

"Yeah, I get it." He said with a knowing nod. "But if anyone can handle it, it's you." He then smirked, his teasing side coming back. "So are you guys gonna do a soft launch like the rest of us normal people, or something more dramatic?"

I squealed and shoving his arm. "What the heck?! He mentioned a soft launch too! What are you? Telepathic?!" And we both bursted into laughter.

We calmed down and shifted our focus back to The Little Mermaid. Chris singing along to Part of Your World with exaggerated enthusiasm. It wasn't long before he dozed off, his head lolling back against the couch. I smiled fondly at him, his mouth slightly open, snoring softly. The day had been a whirlwind of emotions, but it was nice to end it with someone I trusted so much.

Grabbing my phone,I snapped a quick picture of Chris, chuckling to myself as I did and quickly posted the photo to Instagram with the caption:

>>y/n instagram: Disney and chill with my favorite co-star🧜🏻‍♂️<<

The comments poured in almost instantly, but I ignored the notifications, setting my phone on the coffee table and grabbing a blanket to drape over Chris. After making sure he was comfortable, I turned off the lights, heading to my bedroom. I slipped under the covers, the events of the day replaying in my mind. Hugh, Chris, the PR idea and the upcoming date.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of Chris moving around the apartment. I got up and changed into comfy clothes as I walked into the living room where he was packing up his things, looking like the human version of a Disney prince as usual. As I stretched and rubbed my eyes, he glanced over at me with a soft smile.

“Morning, sleepyhead." he teased, zipping up his jacket. “I’ve got a meeting downtown, but I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”

I sat up and gave him a playful wave. “Didn’t want me to think you snuck out, huh?”

“Exactly. I’m not that kind of guy,” he joked, slinging his bag over his shoulder. Then his tone softened. “Hey, keep me updated on the Hugh situation, okay? I’m curious how things go. And don’t forget to tell me about that first date.”

I smiled, the warmth of his support making me feel even more confident. “I will. Thanks, Chris.”

He leaned down and gave me a quick hug and a peck on the cheek. “See you soon, y/n. And don’t forget, I’m always just a text away if you need me.”

“Will do. Good luck with your meeting!”

With a final wave, he headed out the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts—and a mess of nerves about my first official date with Hugh later that morning. I had no idea what to expect, but I hoped it wouldn’t turn into a disaster.

After Chris left, I freshened up, threw on my workout clothes, and made my way to the gym where Hugh and I had agreed to meet. This wasn’t just a casual workout—it was our first date, so I kinda did a big deal out of it.

When I arrived, Hugh was already there, looking ridiculously good in his gym gear. He waved me over with that easygoing smile that never failed to make my heart race.

“You ready?” he asked smiling down at me.

“I was born ready!" With this Hugh opened the door and let me go in first.

We started with some light cardio to warm up, and things were going smoothly—until we hit the weight section again. I’d watched Hugh easily lift a set of dumbbells like they were made of air, and, in a moment of misplaced confidence, I thought 'Why not?'. I grabbed a barbell and decided to push myself a bit further than usual. The first few reps went okay, but as I tried to push the barbell up again, my arms started to shake. I tried to power through it, but I quickly realized I had overestimated my strength. Just as the weight became too much, Hugh was beside me in an instant. “Need some help there?” he asked, amusement dancing in his eyes. I tried to save face. “I’ve got it, just—just give me a second…” Before I could protest further, he gently but firmly took hold of the barbell, lifting it with ease and placing it back on the rack.

"Yeah, you totally had that under control." he teased, his smile widening. “Okay, maybe I overdid it a little." I admitted, feeling the heat rising in my cheeks.

"No shame in asking for help." he said, giving me a playful nudge. “Just don’t hurt yourself trying to keep up with me.”

I playfully groaned and lightly slapped his chest. He just laughed, pulling me tighter against him, his arms wrapping around my waist. I looked up at him, grinning, my gaze lingering on his lips for a beat too long.

“Do you need a kiss to forget that little mishap?” he teased, moving his face closer, eyes sparkling with mischief.

I smirked, voice dropping to a whisper, “Oh, I’ll need more than one to forget that.”

Before he could respond, I closed the gap between us, pulling him in with my arms wrapped around his neck. My fingers tangled in his messy, sweat-damp hair as our kiss deepened, the heat between us rising instantly. He brushed his tongue over my bottom lip, and I parted my lips, welcoming him further. His hands gripped me firmly at the waist, keeping me pressed tightly against him, while my hands couldn’t stay still, roaming over his broad shoulders and chest. Every nerve in my body felt like it was on fire, completely overtaken by the moment, the world around us fading away.

I didn’t even realize when my hands slipped under his shirt, fingertips grazing his warm skin. But just as quickly as the moment ignited, Hugh pulled back, breathless, his forehead resting against mine.

“We’re only on our first date,” he murmured, his voice thick with amusement, a crooked smile playing on his lips. “I haven’t even given you flowers yet.”

I chuckled softly, my head still spinning, and nodded. “You’re right. We said we wouldn’t rush things… and, well, making out in a public gym might be pushing it. I don’t think our management would be too thrilled if the media caught wind of this.”

Hugh laughed, loosening his hold on me, though his hands lingered for a moment longer. “Yeah, I can already hear the headlines.”

Reluctantly, we stepped back from each other, both grinning, but still feeling that magnetic pull between us.

After that little incident, we wrapped up the workout, and I offered to cook us breakfast back at my place. It was the least I could do after Hugh saved me from total humiliation. But as soon as I started cooking, I realized maybe that wasn't the best idea.

The eggs burned almost immediately, the toast was so hard you could break a tooth on it, and I somehow managed to get pancake batter all over the counter.

Hugh stood nearby, watching the chaos unfold with a mix of amusement and concern.

"I swear, I'm usually better at this." I said, desperately trying to salvage something from the mess. Hugh laughed, leaning against the counter. "Better at lifting weights or cooking?"

"Oh shut up!" I laughed and tossed a burnt piece of toast at him, which he dodged easily.

"You sure you don't want me to handle this?" he asked, his voice filled with amusement.

"Hugh, I already said no. I'm perfectly capable." I said defensively, though the evidence clearly suggested otherwise.

"You keep telling yourself that." he teased.

I flipped another pancake, only to see it land halfway off the pan.

I let out a dramatic sigh, slumping my shoulders in mock defeat. Hugh chuckled and wrapped his arms around me from behind, pressing a quick kiss to my neck. The warmth of his lips and the slight scratch of his beard sent a shiver down my spine, goosebumps rising instantly. I turned my head towards him, and with a soft smile, he said, "Looks like the universe is giving you a day off from cooking. Let’s clean up and eat at the café instead."

Eventually, we gave up on my culinary attempt and decided to head downtown to the next café. We settled into a cozy corner table, ordering some coffee and toast. As the food arrived, I couldn't help but laugh.

"At least this can't go wrong, right?" joked, gesturing to the perfectly normal-looking plate in front of us. Hugh raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't be so sure. With us, anything's possible."

I pretended to look horrified. "Don't jinx it!"

He chuckled, taking a sip of his coffee. "So, What do you think of our first date so far?"

I paused, meeting his eyes.

Hugh leaned back smiling. "Well I've gotta say, it's been pretty great so far."

I chuckled, feeling the warmth spread through me. "I agree. Disaster-prone, but definitely memorable."

We spent the rest of breakfast chatting, laughing about the little mishaps from the past couple of hours, and just enjoying each other's company. It, again, felt easy and natural, even with the nerves of a first date hanging in the air.

As we finished up, Hugh reached under the table for my hand and squeezed it gently, giving me a soft look that made my heart skip a beat. "You know, I'm really glad we do this."

"Me too, Hugh." Iadmitted, feeling the same.

Later that afternoon, Hugh and I met up with Ryan for an interview promoting the movie, which finally releases tomorrow. It was just the three of us sitting in a comfortable setup, no live audience, just cameras, and a quiet room. I always looked forward to interviews with Ryan—he had a way of making everything fun and unpredictable.

The interviewer greeted us friendly with a firm handshake and began with the usual questions about the film after introducing us to the already recording camera.

"So, y/n, how did it feel stepping into the shoes of Lady Deadpool?”

I smiled, leaning forward slightly. “Honestly, it was a dream. She’s such a chaotic, yet deeply emotional character. Playing her meant getting to do some wild action scenes while also diving into her personal struggles. Plus, I got to wear a lot of leather.”

Ryan jumped in, grinning. “And kick some serious butt. Let’s not forget that.”

The interviewer nodded and turned to Hugh. “And how about you, Hugh? Wolverine is such an iconic character. How was it returning to the role?”

Hugh smiled, looking relaxed. “It’s always an honor to play Wolverine. This time around, the dynamic with Deadpool—and Lady Deadpool—added a whole new level of fun. The banter, the action sequences, it all just felt... electric.”

Ryan leaned in dramatically. “But let’s be honest. It was terrible. We all hated each other on set!"

Hugh, the interviewer and I bursted into laughter as Ryan continued, completely straight-faced. "No, seriously, it was a nightmare. Every day was a battle I'm surprised we even finished the movie."

"I mean, you were pretty hard to work with.: I teased, leaning into the joke.

Ryan shrugged dramatically. "I do my best to bring chaos wherever I go."

The interviewer then introduced a fun segment: Fan questions pulled from Twitter. “Alright, we’ve got some tweets here from fans. Let’s see what they want to know.”

He read the first tweet aloud. “@MarvelFanGirl asks: ‘What was the funniest moment on set?’ "

Ryan immediately jumped in. “Oh, I’ve got this. There was actually a pretty intense kiss scene between y/n and Hugh in the original cut of the film, but - spoiler alert - it got cut because the film was running too long. Marvel classics." Hugh chuckled, already shaking his head in amusement.

"And I swear by the mother of my children, Blake Ellender Lively!" he dramatically paused. "They just kept going after the director's cut! The crew didn't know if they were still in the scene or... well, if it was method acting, if you know what I mean."

At this point the interviewer started laughing uncontrollably and held his hand in front of his mouth.

I laughed, hiding my face in my hands. “Why do you always bring that up?”

“Because it’s comedy gold!” Ryan laughed, clearly enjoying himself.

"Don't listen to him, Hugh said, grinning. "He's just upset he didn't get a kiss scene."

"Eeeexactly!" Ryan exclaimed, pointing at Hugh. "Where's Deadpool's kiss scene, huh? It's an outrage!"

Even the crew behind the cameras started laughing and the interviewer moved on with the questions, still giggling.

"Ryan, if you could switch roles with anyone in the cast, who would it be?" asked the interviewer.

Without missing a beat, Ryan replied.

"Y/n, hands down. She got the sexiest costume, the coolest weapons, and she gets to kick more butt than anyone else. Plus, let's not forget--she gets to kiss Hugh."

I groaned, shaking my head while Hugh laughed. "You're never going to let that go, are you?"

"Never!" Ryan said with a grin.

The next tweet came in, and the interviewer read it out. “@WolverineLover asks: ‘If Wolverine and Lady Deadpool had their own spin-off movie, what would it be about?’”

Hugh pretended to think seriously. “I imagine it would be about trying to stop Lady Deadpool from blowing up everything in sight.”

I shot him a mock-offended look. “Hey, Lady Deadpool isn’t that destructive.”

Ryan snorted. “Oh please, she’d turn the whole thing into a circus. Wolverine would just be there for damage control.”

We all laughed as we moved on to the next question. “@DeadpoolRocks asks: ‘Ryan, how much of Deadpool is actually you?’ "

Ryan grinned, leaning back in his chair. “Oh, about 90%, I’d say. The other 10% is just me trying to look cooler than I actually am.”

As the interview wrapped up, we exchanged a few more lighthearted jabs, and I couldn’t help but feel how much fun we had together. Ryan and Hugh had a way of making every moment a little less serious and a lot more entertaining.

“Alright." Ryan said, standing up as the cameras shut off. “Who’s ready for round two tomorrow?”

I moaned, already dreading whatever he had in store. “I’m not sure my dignity can handle it.”

Hugh laughed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as we walked out. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there to save you. Again.”

“Let’s just hope there are no weights involved this time,” I quipped.

After the interview, we walked off stage, and Ryan clapped Hugh on the back.

"Man, I'm still disappointed they cut the kiss scene. We were all waiting for the slow-motion sparks."

Hugh just laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah, I'm sure that's why the audience would come to watch the movie. For that."

Ryan wagged his finger. "Don't underestimate the power of romance, Jackman. Fans live for that!"

I shot both of them a look, trying to keep a straight face. "As long as no one mentions the breakfast disaster, I'll consider this interview a win."

Ryan blinked, clearly intrigued. "What breakfast disaster?"

Hugh grinned mischievously, but before he could spill, I put my hand over his mouth in protest. "Nope! Not happening. What happens in the kitchen stays in the kitchen."

Ryan raised his eyebrows, clearly enjoying my embarrassment. "Im going to get that story out of one of you. Just wait!"

"Ha! You wish!" I called over my shoulder, heading out of the studio with them.

Eventually, we split off, with Ryan going in one direction, and Hugh and I in another, after we said our goodbyes.

Hugh opened the passenger door for me so that I could get in. After my little "Thank you", he closed the door with a smile and sat down on the other side. "My place or yours?"

I kissed his cheek. "Let's go to your place."

With that, Hugh drove off, placing his hand on my thigh as he drove.

Smiling, I looked out of the window and stroked the back of his hand with my thumb. What a day.

---------------------------------------------------

@spectorrrhgf @tinawantstobeadoll @appetencyfortacos @weskerussy @kellyxo1 @larkkyoris @shukirschtein14 @corvusmorte @carefree-flowerchild

Next part

Sorry if it's not proofread! Struggled with a migraine today but still wanted to finish this part. But I tried my best! And I hope I didn't confuse anybody with the small changes.

[dannyricsmirrorball]

tying the knot • cl16 part 2 ੈ✩‧₊˚

ੈ✩‧₊˚ pairing || charles leclerc x gasly!reader

ੈ✩‧₊˚ genre || social media au

ੈ✩‧₊˚ summary || everyone is together on break for some reason, perhaps a wedding. question is… whose is it?

alt. y/n is pierre’s younger sister. there’s no way she’s dating his best friend aka her childhood friend… right?

ੈ✩‧₊˚ warning || google translate 😬

ੈ✩‧₊˚ a/n || so sorry this took a-bit more time to get out then i initially planned but nevertheless hope you enjoy!! one more part after this x. i lied

NOT PROOF READ YET!

part 1 here!

august 2023

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 1,698,092 others

yourusername forever & always

username2 WHAT?!

username18 please don’t tell me we lost y/n to a guy and a marriage all in one day

username1 I AM HYPERVENTILATING

username9 WHO IS THAT MAN?

username33 y/n is MARRIED?!

username14 omfg she’s so stunning

username81 y/n cheated on me 😭

username72 everyone losing their minds over the guy but i just wanna know who from the grid went

username18 i NEED to know who was in the wedding party

pierregasly jolie fille 🩷

francisca.cgomes sexiest bride out

⤷ yourusername stop it i’m blushing 🫣😘

charles_leclerc 🤍

⤷ username55 u guys don’t think…

⤷ username16 omfg i’d actually cry if it was him, i’ve shipped them forever like they’re literally childhood friends to lovers, brothers best friend/best friends sister, slowburn irl… but realistically it’s defs not

lilymhe the cutest 🥹 but make sure he knows ur still MY wife

⤷ yourusername ofc ofc baby

⤷ alex_albon oh?

luisinhaoliveira99 congrats my girl 😍

estebanocon ouah y/n!

lorenzotl félicitations petite soeur

⤷ yourusername enzo 🥹

⤷ username62 lorenzo calling y/n his little sister I COULD CRY

alex_albon nice!

georgerussell63 congratulations! 👏

carmenmmundt 🩷🩷

joris__trouche belle cérémonie y/n!

⤷ yourusername ❤️

arthur_leclerc 😄😄

heidiberger_ blushing bride!

leclerc_pascale ma belle fille

⤷ yourusername merci maman ❤️

liked by alex_albon, charles_leclerc, and 108,873 others

lilymhe my best friend in the world got cuffed 🥂

tagged yourusername

yourusername the best maid of honour i could’ve asked for 🥹🩷

⤷ lilymhe forever babe 🤍

yourusername u next!!! alex_albon

⤷ alex_albon maybe she’ll stop calling u her wife then 😵‍💫

⤷ lilymhe NEVER

username23 OMFG LILY WAS HER MAID OF HONOUR 😭😭

username9 LILY AND ALEX WERE AT THE WEDDING!!!now we know people from the grid were defs there, now onto who else!

⤷ username11 i mean obv they would be… lily and y/n are best friends. also pierre and kika were obviously there bc he’s her brother, charles and his brothers probably too bc they’re childhood friends, and based on who else was in italy for what was obviously the hens night and bachelor party - carlos, carmen, george, heidi, danny, luisa, lando, isa, carla, charlotte

luisinhaoliveira99 the fits 🥵

alex_albon top night yourusername charles_leclerc

alex_albon top night yourusername

⤷ lilymhe omg alex

⤷ yourusername don’t pretend that wasn’t on purpose

⤷ username72 what are they talking abt?

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and 279,093 others

francisca.cgomes parabéns linda menina. eu te amo minha irmã, sempre e para sempre. 💒

translation: congratulations beautiful girl. i love you my sister, always and forever. 💒

tagged yourusername

username15 gonna cry… kika calling y/n her sister 😭😭

username8 the best sister-in-laws

yourusername kika 🥹🥹 the best sister ever

alex_albon LMFAO y/n crying in the third slide 💀

⤷ yourusername watch it albono

⤷ lilymhe idk if my eyes were deceiving me but i’m pretty certain i saw u welling up

⤷ georgerussell63 no no ur eyes weren’t deceiving u, alex cried like a little bitch

⤷ alex_albon UM OK?? i’ve watched them grow up waht did u expect 😫 also george i know u aren’t speaking

⤷ yourusername awww that’s rlly sweet alex

liked by georgerussell63, yourusername, and 109,039 others

carmenmmundt felicidades linda 🤍

tagged yourusername, georgerussell63

yourusername carmen!! 🩷

username63 carmen slaying the wedding fit TRUST she will always show UP

georgerussell63 😍😍

username62 everyone going all in and out for y/n’s wedding, as they shouldddd

alex_albon george looking fitty

⤷ username2363 galex rights!

liked by danielricciardo, lancestroll, and 100,633 others

heidiberger_ cutest weekend! many well wishes to my girl yourusername 🤍

username4 omg danny and heidi look SO good

yourusername love u!!! thanku my love 🤍

username3 this is frfr the wedding of the year

username99 scotty and blake were there?? y/n fr knows EVERYONE

⤷ username8 love how we’ve all collectively ignored that the groom also has family and friends 😭

danielricciardo 😫

liked by scottyjames31, chloestroll, and 187,828 others

daniel3.jpg the royal wedding p1

tagged yourusername, heidiberger_, scottyjames31

username3 heidi and daniel look so perfect 😭

username82 i’m sorry but how many outfit changes did y/n have?!? i love thoooo

yourusername so glad both ur girlfriend and boyfriend could attend

yourusername omg danny 🥹 these are so perfect

scottyjames31 looking fresh DR

username6 i want daniel3.jpg to photograph my wedding

username85 her wedding was literally a DREAM. like the venue, the guest list, the multiple dresses, DANNYRIC PHOTOGRAPHY

username64 the parasols 😍

lando.jpg all my photos turned out crap sorry yourusername

⤷ alex_albon yeah bc u were on the piss mate

⤷ yourusername it’s okay lan just glad u had fun

charles_leclerc thanku daniel.

⤷ daniel3.jpg oh charles don’t thank me yet. this is part 1…

⤷ charles_leclerc daniel.

⤷ daniel3.jpg i take bribes in the form of cash 😄

⤷ yourusername money badger frfr

⤷ username36 oh no what dirt does danny have on charles?!

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 1,898,727 others

maxverstappen1 many congrats to the happy couple!

username92 even max was there?!

danielricciardo looking fitty maxxie

⤷ maxverstappen1 all for you

⤷ heidiberger_ i get the struggle now carmenmmundt lilymhe

username18 just max lookin this good for the wedding of the centuryyy

username74 losing lestappen but at least it’s to y/n

⤷ username14 ITS NOT CHARLES

yourusername thanku maxy 🩷

landonorris he’s laughing at my jokes here 😝😘

⤷ charles_leclerc *laughing at you

username16 IM SORRY BUT LIKE- charles doesn’t even follow max but he’s liked and commented….

liked by yourusername, carla.brocker, and 299,882 others

arthur_leclerc fiancé à marié 🤍

tagged yourusername, lorenzotl, leclerc_pascale, charles_leclerc, pierregasly

username84 so arthur was at the engagement…

⤷ username82 hmmm interesting

carla.brocker 🩷🩷

yourusername love uuu thurthur 🤍🤍

username80 just arthur posting for his brother’s wedding 😝

username73 the picture of the gasly and leclerc siblings with jules and tom IM SO SOFT

charles_leclerc mate where did you find that picture 😦 long time ago, great memories ❤️

username46 guys idk if u understand how crazy it was that he was at the engagement…

⤷ username55 is normal for friends and family to be there for the engagement

liked by scuderiaferrari, landonorris, and 583,378 others

carlossainz55 congrats to the happy couple!

tagged yourusername, landonorris

username18 by the tags you’d think y/n and lando got married 💀

landonorris hot

username7 carlos posting lando like they’re a couple LOL

yourusername grazie chilli 😘

charles_leclerc looking good mate 👌

username72 awww carlos was there as well 🥹

⤷ username46 obv had to be there for his teammates wedding

liked by yourusername, luisinhaoliveira99, and 677,828 others

landonorris don’t remember much 🍾🍾

tagged luisinhaoliveira99, yourusername

luisinhaoliveira99 🥰

username27 he cleans up NICE

username52 how drunk did he get? 💀

yourusername not surprised lan

carlossainz55 😍

alex_albon i remember everything…

liked by lorenzotl, charles_leclerc, 27,727 others

charlotte2304 🔔💐 love you yourusername

tagged carla.brocker

username8 ahhh leclerc wags at y/n’s wedding 🥰

lorenzotl ❤️

carla.brocker pretty 🩷

yourusername 🥹 love u love u love u 🥹

username26 y/n’s sister in laws…?

username3 stop being delulu

liked by luisinhaoliveira99, carlossainz55, and 200,929 others

isahernaez el amor está en el aire. espero que la vida de casados ​​te trate bien, la ceremonia más bonita y me lo pasé genial jugando a decir sí al vestido! 🥂💒

translation: love is in the air. i hope married life treats you well, the most beautiful ceremony and i had a great time playing say yes to the dress!

tagged yourusername

username18 ahhh i love their friendship sm

username66 isa helped pick y/n’s dress 😭 y/n never beating those ferrari wags rumours

yourusername isa 😭 thanku for everything 🥹 i’m gonna cry

luisinhaoliveira99 sooo pretty!!

username7 her and y/n still being friends 🫂🫂

carlossainz55 😍

⤷ username55 🤨

charlottesiine isaaaa 🤩

liked by pierregasly, charles_leclerc, and 109,837 others

daniel3.jpg p2

tagged yourusername, landonorris, pierregasly, francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc

username71 danny coming in w the content he knew we wanted

username14 pierre and kika 🥹

username35 omg ofc they all jumped in the pool. wouldn’t expect anything less from this bunch 😭

username82 omfg this looks so much fun

username27 lando getting litty 💀💀

⤷ username2 lmfao look at charles tho 😭

yourusername foolish of me to think these wouldn’t make the cut but at least none of mine are totally embarra 💀

username16 oh to get drunk and party at y/n’s wedding reception w the grid + the entire f1 community

username8 sorry i’m actually creasing at charles. this must be what he was talking abt on the other post lmfao.

charles_leclerc GIVE ME MY 50 BACK

⤷ lilymhe 50? daniel u do not know how to play the game

⤷ usernams74 did charles really expect 50€ to silence the money badger?

username81 oh charles was GONE gone

username72 y/n planned this so perfectly. making sure it was during summer break when the entire grid was off so they could get wasted without having to worry

scuderiaferrari what is our driver doing…? that’s just bc your so happy right charles… right?

⤷ charles_leclerc look away admin. look away 😔

⤷ daniel3.jpg drunk on happiness 🤣🤣

liked by leclerc_pascale, olliebearman, and 120,838 others

lorenzotl nous vous avons vu grandir ensemble, maintenant vieillir ensemble.

translation: we watched you grow up together, now grow old together.

tagged yourusername, leclerc_pascale, charles_leclerc, pierregasly

username23 ummm does this mean what i think it means?!

username16 IM SORRY??? is lorenzo saying that y/n’s husband is CHARLES

username22 THIS IS HOW I WINNNNN. childhood friends to lovers EXCELLENCE

yourusername awww enzo 🥹

leclerc_pascale mes beaux enfants 🤍

arthur_leclerc oh 😒😒

⤷ yourusername youngest child struggles arth 🤷‍♀️😫

⤷ pierregasly sucks to suck

charles_leclerc oh putain how old we are!

username52 this is CRAZY like i’m so happy but i never thought this would become real

username91 going to SOB look at pascale fixing up y/n’s makeup 😭

⤷ username23 she watched her grow up and now she’s watching her marry her son 😭

username18 i still think that it’s not charles. like why would they hide that

liked by yourusername, pierregasly, and 1,720,737 others

charles_leclerc my best friend is married 🤍 si fier 😘

tagged yourusername

username99 lol nvm

username87 i’m actually going to SOB

username2 damn i’m still rooting for them

username9 the pic of him y/n and pierre OH IM GONNA CRY

yourusername ❤️

username7 WHY LORENZO WHY DID U TEASE US LIKE THAT?? MAKING US BELIEVE IT WAS CHARLES.

⤷ username86 he’s delulu like us

⤷ username72 he’s still manifesting. biggest y/n charles shipper.

username16 waiting for him to say ‘to me’ 😭 PLEASE

pierregasly mate how long ago was that 😮‍💨

username91 charles and that damn 😘 emoji

username74 i can feel the pining and yearning from here

username62 i just know mans is going thru it. he has had the fattest most obvious crush on her foreverrrr.

username43 dc what anyone says. this doesn’t mean anything. like this could still be a husband posting his wife.

liked by yourusername, francisca.cgomes, and 493,938 others

pierregasly félicitations ma petite. celebrating my best friends tonight!

tagged yourusername, francisca.cgomes, charles_leclerc, arthurleclerc, lorenzotl

username37 i’m gonna sob. their relationship is so special to me.

username14 the pic of them dancing 😭😭

username01 best brother sister duo

username16 ‘celebrating my best friends’ hmmmm ur not slick pierre

⤷ username92 or he’s just best friends w her husband. charles isn’t his only best friend.

yourusername pierre 🥹🥹

username81 IM SORRY BUT THE LAST PIC COME ON

username36 im not one to feed into rumours but like why would lorenzo, arthur, pierre, AND charles include baby pics of all of them if it’s not y/n and charles

⤷ username63 y/n is practically family to the leclerc. they grew up w her. she’s like they’re sister.

⤷ username36 see id get that but why would pierre include a baby pic of all of them instead of just him and y/n. like it’s y/n’s wedding and he’s her sister. what does that have to do w the leclercs.

⤷ username16 RIGHT like i get if the leclercs just did that but pierre also including it and tagging the leclercs… like they’re joining families idk man

username91 i’m totally not crying abt the baby pic of y/n and then the pic of her at her wedding holding her cousin’s baby

username27 i’m sorry pierre but i could recognise that jaw from a mile away

username72 all these people saying it’s charles. r u forgetting his post where he said his BEST FRIEND is married???

⤷ username46 people can like yk lie

⤷ username16 he said his best friend is married. he could mean married to him?

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 493,982 others

yourusername a fairytale 💒

username73 her wedding was a literal fairytale

username27 the shoes 😲 jaw dropped

username86 eating up every piece of content from this wedding. especially any of y/n and her husband 😩

lilymhe my princess 🥹

⤷ yourusername loml iloveuiloveiloveu thanku sm for everything and all of ur help lils

username92 those flower girls look so cute 😭

pierregasly nuit émouvante petit. tellement heureux pour vous deux.

⤷ yourusername je t’aime

francisca.cgomes best night ever linda ✨✨

carlossainz55 so happy for the both of you 👏👏

arthur_leclerc no one deserves it more ❤️

⤷ yourusername mon petit frère 🥺

charles_leclerc ma meilleure pote

taglist: @dl-yum @honey6578 @lillianacristina @xcinnamongirl @glitterf1 @christianpulisic10

[randomfoggytiger]

React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (Founder's Mutation), Part II

This is gonna be quick and dirty because my keyboard’s acting up--

IT’S A CONTINUATION FROM MY STRUGGLE I?????????? NO WHY NO, PLEASE NO. 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--

WHY do those glasses not fit anymore?? If Mulder lifts his eyebrows, they don’t even touch his cheekbones. But they were fine last episode, what happened. 

Mulder reminding us about William in yet another opening monologue. I may have the memory of a goldfish, Mulder, but I don’t have brain damage. 

I’m already so tired. 

Narration, narration, sudden voice change and drop, “Bringing Scully and I back together”-- okay, that’s straight-up David's voice. 

Oh, good. A bloody eyeball. How marvelous. 

If this is the brain Morse Code episode, I will throw hands. 

I’m Dr. Sanjay. We’re both too tired. 

WHAT’S WITH THE SHAKY CAM AS DR. SANJAY DETERIORATES. 

I’m not gonna be nit-picky… okay, I am. 

The X-Files has a certain style, aesthetically. Because of that, one has to operate inside the rules in order to cleverly bend them. Shaky cam AND close-up break two rules back-to-back.

This "modernization" isn’t a limbered stretch so much as a spinal dislocation. 

Ghost in the Machine and Blood 2.0, I see. But worse. 

The “Sanjay losing control” scene is… not too different from similar 90s ones.

But that’s the problem-- the visuals have updated, but not the method. And that leaves us with the impression that the director or screenwriter or both are either amateur or outdated. 

It’s also incredibly cluttered and confusing. Not confusing in a way that would expertly translate the meltdown in Sanjay’s brain, but confusing in a way that bombards us, the audience, with compounding “lost in translation” errors. 

Okay, welp, he’s dead. 

WHY do Mulder and Scully sound so old? Was it absolutely necessary to suck the life force out of the actors every time they walked on set? For Pete’s sake, I’ve heard more life in David’s voice while reading a Lexus ad. 

Okay, DD’s picking up a bit, and GA’s compensating with her expressions but none of this is engaging. 

Minor nitpick-- and I know both actors complained about wardrobe later-- but the second Mulder gets pants that fit him and Scully remembers to finish buttoning up her top, the sooner I’ll get a glimpse of the old show. Just sayin’. 

His pants will eventually swing to the opposite tragedy, copping a feel while forcing him to do a little Marilyn Monroe shimmy.

I shall call them Patriarchy Pants.

Scully knows Indian?

She really is the series’ language OC, isn’t she. 

Mulder got this informant to trust him by flashing his puppy eyes. I mean… it’s always worked on Scully. 

Speaking of which… where’s Scully? 

I’m wracking my brain, but I thiiiiiiiiiiink it’s consistent, even pre-S9 canon, for Mulder to sneak off and fill Scully in later. So, no complaints. I think. 

What is it about the comedy scene that didn’t work…? 

Hm. 

‘Kay, so, if this guy (Gupta, looked it up) is no longer a repressed homosexual-- like he chastises Mulder for being-- then why was he so skittish in the bar? 

He didn’t know Sanjay was dead, so therefore he didn’t know he was in danger (note from the future: he isn't in danger... which explains his skittishness even less.)

So, is his jumpiness because of repressed or hidden homosexuality? But he says he's out and urges Mulder to come out, as well.

Perhaps he's saying one thing and living another, i.e. pretending to be out and proud to save face in front of Mulder.

But then... that would be the comedy in this scene-- that he would have to eat his words (ex. another guy opens the door on them and Gupta makes a big fuss trying to cover up the homosexuality of it all-- “no homo” dialed up to 11, etc.) 

So, he was either scared to be on a hit list-- yet wasn’t aware he might be on one-- or scared of being outed-- yet didn't signal this in his actions or dialogue.

If this is Gupta’s only scene, it was a waste.

It was a waste of an introduction, regardless. But.  

Oh, Scully’s doing an autopsy, got it. 

Characters are playing by their strengths, got it. 

Also, forgot to note, Mulder sensing the guys in the bar were bad news points to his years spent on the job. A great touch.

…Unless, now that I think of it, Gupta invited him to a gay or hookup bar, consequently making Mulder look like an out-of-touch old buffoon. Which… fits his characterization in My Struggle I, but I hope for better things. 

I didn’t see any tension in Scully’s arms while pulling the instrument out of Sanjay’s ear, but, ya know, there weren’t perfect moments in OG canon, either. 

Gupta’s still here, okay. (DD getting away with a bit of humor by having Mulder act slightly out-of-place chuggin down in a bar-- I see you.) 

IT IS A GAY BAR. 

MULDER’S AN IDIOT, CONFIRMED. 

“He lived two lives.” Okay, that’s f-- “In two separate places.” NO, no, nonono-- get back over the unsubtle line before I whip out the broom, shooshooshooshooshoo.

Wait, why is Mulder explaining the autopsy results instead of Scully?

Even when he had a… siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 

Even when Mulder had a brewing theory in mind, he always let Scully explain all her results before asking pointed questions, hearing her findings, then crafting a theory and running it by her.

Here, Scully says, “I broke fingers to find words on palm"/"instrument went into these parts of the brain” and Mulder says “It went in at that angle then turned at this angle"/"[insert theory].”

When it SHOULD be: Scully explains fingers and cause of death, Mulder points at the pics and asks why the instrument’s angle changed, Scully says “it went in 90 degree angle then turned 60 degrees”, and Mulder concludes “Like he was hunting for something.” 

The shots widen out or cut back for shock value, it seems. Sanjay’s body is shown obliquely until Scully says she “looked everywhere” for clues, which prompts the camera to cut to a wide shot and hang on his sawed-open skull. The timing’s oddly comedic, the music is light, and nothing about the scene meshes. It quickly pancakes, leaving us and the characters with dead (heh) air.

The dialogue leans “we’re gonna do this next” telling rather than natural conversation showing. 

And-- I’ve gotta be frank-- I’ve not caught an ounce of chemistry from DD and GA aside from the scene where they were talk about phone stealing and Indian languages. 

The car scene contributed nothing... except a kid accidentally fell over the hood. Reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal covert set-up, I tell ya. 

Sanjay’s other apartment scene was… weird. They walk around, find pictures of experiments on kids, barely react, trip the silent alarm so the police show up--

Sorry, no, wait. The police show up ASAP, in THIS part of town? NAH. Not happening. 

Okay, the scene where Mulder has a… brain… thingy WORKS because it uses just the right amount of “new trick”: closeups without disorienting lens action slapped on top. THAT’s how you integrate a modernized technique into an older show; and it fits seamlessly into The X-Files. 

SO WHY DIDN’T THEY DO THIS FROM THE GET-GO?

Also, Scully may have had cancer, but she never had migraines. Those seem to be reserved for Mulder. 

Oh, we’re in Skinner’s office now. I guess. 

The clips are so poorly paced, switching or holding or integrating at the weirdest times. It even undercuts Mulder’s quips or Scully’s reactions. 

On a side note, DD and GA probably had a hard time finding their characters-- as they mentioned for both IWTB and the Revival-- because all they had to work off of was plot regurgitation. ....What do you do with that? 

I love the touch of Skinner playing hardball until Corporate Interest Guy leaves, then immediately switching to, “I assume you’re going to need [classified] copies, right?” 

…

…..

…….

Scully really doesn’t have much to add, does she? 

OH, we’re in the basement now. We're just... here. The first scene of these two back down here and they're just. Here. ...'Kay.

Mulder and Scully talking over his experience is the closest I’ve gotten to mature MSR… and it’s ruined by Scully stating the obvious, “There were no sounds. I didn’t hear anything.”

LOOK, OKAY? Mulder became CATATONIC before with these exact same symptoms and was only saved by a secret science mumbo jumbo brain surgery, WHY ISN’T SHE WORRIED. It’s equivalent to her getting a nosebleed and just wiping it away, no big deal. 

“Mulder, what are you hiding?”

He’s not hiding anything, Scully, he’s telling you. 

But if he were, that’d be outta character even for Beanpole Sneakybritches. By this point, he’d have a functioning theory to share with the class-- which he did, lest we forget.

...Or developed a taste for Hercule Poirot drama while holed up in depressed isolation, I guess (which you left him to, Scully; so this is your fault, tangentially.) Which would be stupid. 

 (Note from the future: He was hiding something, but it didn't make sense how he leaped to that conclusion, anyway; so, logically, he has nothing to hide from her in this scene.)

But when's that stopped the show before?

“What are you hiding?” 

“Sanjay heard sounds right before he died. It could be you, Mulder.”

WHAT. 

Scully and Mulder established in the lab that Sanjay heard noises right before he died. 

Mulder heard noises. 

Tells Scully in the basement. 

Scully: “I didn’t hear noises.” No reaction. 

Scully: “What are you hiding?”

Mulder explains his frequency theory.

Scully doesn’t see how it fits. 

Mulder: “What are you hiding?” 

Scully: “Sanjay heard sounds right before he died. It could be you, Mulder.” No reaction. 

PLEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE END MY SUFFERING.

16 min. in. 

Been typing nearly an hour (a dying keyboard’ll do it to ya.) 

“This is dangerous,” Scully says, flatly. 

“When has that ever stopped us?” Mulder asks, brightly. 

He is quite literally trying to pump life back into her-- WHO directed GA this way? You can tell which scenes she is given freer reign in (more natural, less muted) and which ones she is more tightly “guided” (less alive, more dead.) 

How is she spry enough to be a field agent? How is Mulder? Skinner hasn’t aged a day but these two have been MOWED. DOWN. DD and GA aren’t like this in real life, so what gives? 

Our Lady of Sorrows, go away. 

It’s Karen Kosseff except it isn’t. 

Mulder and Scully sneakily scare the daylights outta a Conservative-adjacent medical personnel with the dreaded threat of an “Obamacare” witchhunt... and at this point, the social commentary seems performative rather than intelligent. 

I’m not gonna break it down by politics; but suffice to say, while Mulder and Scully were never above a little “campaign of misinformation”, but they've never stooped low enough to fearmonger-- in fact, they looked down on those who did. 

CC-- he wrote this episode, too, right?-- turned them from FBI agents with ethics into Secret Agents with a dose of Krycekian immorality. 

Just when I think I’ve “found” MSR, the writing snatches them back from me.

…And ANOTHER THING. 

Ever since IWTB, Our Lady of Sorrows has been an awful, horrible, no-good, close-minded facility stuffed to the brim with egos and bottom-of-the-barrel intelligence. At least they’ve been upgraded from “let the kid die” psychopaths to “OBAMACARE?? INVESTIGATING OUR SAINTED, CONSERVATIVE COLLEAGUE????” Which makes them stupidly impressionable and stupendously ignorant of the law. Which they would know… because it affects their hospital. 

There’s no hint (thus far) that Scully has some dirt on them and maneuvers them into compliance by hinting at certain shortcuts they wouldn’t want investigated. No. Instead, she weaponizes their faith-- calling the guy they want to interview a “godsend”-- despite sharing it, and despite taking all matters of belief very seriously; then lets Mulder slip in the Obamacare line because… Conservative medical professionals would cow in the face of that implication instead of, I don’t know, stonewalling to protect their ranks? 

It’s such a silly, nonsensical line. 

I just want old Mulder and Scully back, is that too much to ask for?

And the lady almost stonewalled, anyway. It was pure luck that Scully pulled the right emotional strings. 

UGH. 

“I’ll agree to relay a message,” Not-Karen says… then walks off before asking what that message would be. …Sure, fine, that makes sense. 

Pregnant teen or young woman and….

And….

WHAT, IS THIS A CONTINUED PLOT POINT???????????

ANOTHER PREGNANCY PLOTLINE?????????? DO THE POWERS-THAT-BE NO LONGER HAVE ACCESS TO TUBES OR JARS OR WHATHAVEYOU TO GROW THEIR EXPERIMENTS, OR DID THEY ALL COPYPASTE THE EVES' AND DR. PARENTI’S VERY SPECIFIC NICHE?????

Hate the camera angles, too, uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. 

Used and abused women, dismissed young mothers, callous Catholic hospitals…. It’s so… vitriolic. And all so poorly handled. 

“Desire is the devil’s pitchfork,” oh, great, the Catholic nun? lady is eeeeeeeeeeevil, who would have knooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooown--     

WHY. DOES. MULDER. SOUND. SO. OLD. 

No wonder DD and GA think the series isn’t really about happy endings, they were shuffling around like geriatric Eeyores half the time. 

Scully pushing back against Mulder protecting her from the incubation theory right after he tells her the incubation theory: in a word, disjointed. She needed to confront him BEFORE he spells it out to her-- 

…My brain melted and I lost the thought…. Wait…. Nope, it’s gone. 

“Is this what you believe happened to me, fifteen years ago? When I got pregnant, when I had my baby?” WWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAT. 

“Mybaby”??????????? After all this time, MY BABY. 

WHY ISN’T GA ACTING APPROPRIATELY, SHE’S GIVING US NOTHING DESPITE BEING THE SOLE EMOTIVE PERSON ON THIS TEAM. 

IF THAT LINE IS MEANT TO IMPLY SHE’S CREATING DISTANCE WITH “MY BABY” BECAUSE SHE THINKS MULDER IS DISOWNING WILLIAM, YOU’VE NOT ESTABLISHED, AT ALL, THAT RETICENCE IS PART OF HER SELF-PRESERVATION-- NOT ONE TIME, SINCE THE REVIVAL STARTED. 

AND IF THAT WERE THE CASE, SCULLY WOULD HAVE ACCUSED HIM DIFFERENTLY: NOT FLAT AND TIRED, BUT FLAT AND ANGRY. WHERE’S SCULLY’S ANGER THAT SHE’S HAD FROM DAY ONE, THAT SHE LOST RIGHT AFTER EXISTENCE SAID HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER????????

GIVE ME GUMPTION, GIVE ME SPIT, GIVE ME FIRE, GIVE ME RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION!!!!

SO THEY ABANDONED THE INCUBATOR TALK TO TALK ABOUT HER REGRETS, I GUESS. 

THERE WAS NO POINT A TO POINT B, WE’RE JUST HERE NOW.

I don’t mind the rehash-- Mulder and Scully both had a habit of doing that, back in the day… but I’m not getting any of MULDER or SCULLY from these two… Revival robots. 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, this is the “what could have been” episode. Thanks, I’m gonna hate it. 

“Do you think he could have been an experiment?”

“I don’t know,” GET OUTTA HERE, ACTUALLY GET OUTTA HERE. 

MULDER’S WHOLE ARC IN ESSENCE-EXISTENCE WAS THAT HE KNEW THE MATH ADDED UP TO BEING WILLIAM’S FATHER (though the writers did their best to obfuscate that issue) BUT WAS AFRAID SCULLY’S BABY WOULD BE BORN WITH SURPRISES. INSTEAD, HE WAS A NORMAL, HEALTHY BABY; AND MULDER CALLED HIS SON A MIRACLE BECAUSE OF IT.

BEFORE SEASON 9 RETCONNED IT, ANYWAY. BUT EVEN THEN, WILLIAM WAS UNDENIABLY HIS MINI MULDER.

Even in IWTB, how many years later, Mulder still considered William theirs. 

Also, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait. 

Pause. 

Rewind. 

Stop. 

Mulder misses William but had to put that “behind him.” 

That. has got to be. The most. antithetical statement to Mulder’s character that I have ever. Ever. heard. 

You can’t have it both ways, CC: Mulder can’t be pushed by the ghosts of his past into wrecking his and Scully’s relationship, twice (IWTB and the Revival), while also putting HIS CHILD behind him. 

nnooooooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOnonononononNONONONONONONO.

THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE. THAT MAKES NO SENSE. 

YOU’RE A LIAR, A LYING LIAR LIAR FACE. 

THAT’S NOT MULDER. 

MULDER WOULD NEVER SAY THAT. 

SCULLY MIGHT, BUT EVEN THEN SHE’D STILL BE LYING TO HERSELF. 

Scully was shattered into a million pieces in My Struggle I, and Mulder is obliterated in this one. 

How. 

Absolutely. 

Lovely. 

Also, again, Scully isn’t emoting fear or terror for her son. At all. 

NORMAL SCULLY VOICE??????????????????????????????????

NORMAL. SCULLY. VOICE????????????????????????????????????????

WHAT. 

I’M, I’M, WHAT. 

FOR THE FLASHBACKS, BUT NOT FOR THE SERIES????????????????????????

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 

The cutback from the flashback-dreamsequence-whatever to Scully just… sitting there. Not napping. Not dreaming, just. Thinking, I guess. 

But the sequence was obviously a dream, so. 

Can you imagine if she snapped upright from her dream, possibly at her desk? The gifs sets that could have been made mirroring this moment to Mulder’s nightmare in Paper Hearts. 

THERE’S THE SAME “OPEN THE DESK DRAWER TO SEE A PHOTO” MOTIF, TOO. 

...WHY IS THAT ASSISTANT WALKING LIKE SHE'S ON A CATWALK?

That actress said, “This is my big shot, I’m gonna stick out” (literally), and dressed to kill. 

…Or she’s a piece of commentary on the Evil Scientist Doctor and the male gaze, or something. 

Guys, no facility would have kids kept behind glass cages for their entire lifespan. 

That’s dumb. 

Scully tells the scientist he’s testing (trying to isolate) for alien DNA. He shows them out. 

Agnes (the teen or young mother) got killed and her baby taken, of course. 

At least Scully’s no longer pretending medical people aren’t stealing babies or creating mutants, I guess. 

I GUESS. 

Mulder had to wiggle his way over to the printer because his Patriarchy Pants (first sighting!) are too tight. (Told you his fashion swings in the opposite direction.) 

Mulder said, “This is my skinny jean era”, and I think I’m traumatized. 

Syndicate wanted to colonize the world with alien-human hybrids, says Mulder. And though it was unsuccessful--

(HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT)

--he doubts they stopped trying. 

So, that sweeps away the Supersoldiers, I guess. 

Since, y’know, the Revival said the aliens were never involved to begin with. 

So it was just the government making a hoax of the government hiding aliens but pretending they weren’t but really were but weren’t. 

Got it. 

What did Scully’s study about all European men being traced back to three individuals in the Bronze age (that’s a reference to Shem, Ham, and Japheth, isn’t it CC?) have to do with Mulder’s point other than for her to talk about her study. 

An illustrative hypothetical:

Mulder: “Everyone loves juice.” 

Scully: “I read a paper last year that found the three most favored juice flavors tie back to the Whirligig tastebud genome.” 

…’Kay.

I HAVE FIFTEEN MINUTES LEFT, LET IT EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEND. 

Jackie (Evil Scientist Man's “insane” wife) doesn’t like cats and threw an apple at it. …Why’s there a loose cat in the “mental asylum”?

They put in the spooky track from the original show-- the tinkling symbol sound-- when she recounted her daughter breathing underwater, but I liked that bit. 

Good filming, good bit. 

Jackie was being used for experiments, crashed her car, was forced via the brain thingy to cut her child out, the end. 

…Oh, right, this plot was supposed to be about Sanjay. 

My bad. 

You forgot, too, didn’t you. 

…Why doesn’t Jackie like cats again? 

(Note from the future: Jackie feared her biological daughter because she had supernatural abilities; and ran away hoping to save her son from the same experimentation and fate. ...But her son? (or her daughter?) already had powers and forced her to cut him out??? by manipulating her brain????????? to find his way back to his sister??????????????? Even though he was a baby??????????????????? (She still doesn't know this and wishes she could see him again...????????????????????????????????????????)

This is such a BAD. SCRIPT. 

It has no direction, it swings wildly from topic to topic, nothing really connects together, it’s all… nonsensical garbage. 

Mulder gets closeted at a gay bar, the Catholic lady hates men and thinks unwed mothers are damaged, women are made to cut babies out of their stomachs, Mulder put William behind him, Scully has a waking dream instead of a sleeping one, aaaaaaaaaaaaand… Jackie hates cats. 

No, you will not get a logical explanation for any of this. 

Awwww, look, Jackie’s talking about her missing boy because she thinks about him “every day” but hasn’t seen him since and so does Scully, of course, and Mulder can sense that so he, looks, too, and this case will make him cling to William’s memory again and--

One word. Riverdale. 

“All my training-- everything that I know about psychology--” WHAT. Scully, you’re a medical doctor, not a psychologist. Definitely not a psychiatrist. 

So Mulder can read x-rays with medical accuracy, and Scully can read Indian and diagnose someone’s psychological state. 

Great.  

Just peachy. 

By the way, if you’re wondering why Mulder keeps getting bumped into or keeps peripherally noticing janitorial staff at each location, here’s your payoff (NO, IT WASN’T HAMFISTED, YOU JUST DIDN’T NOTICE THAT THIS WAS A PLOT POINT AT ALL, IT'S SO CLEVER):

The janitors work for a larger company that also services the hospitals. And Sanjay’s company. 

….Eh? Eh? Clever isn’t it??

NOITISN’T. 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, so the kids are dying and inadvertently killing… off… their… parent? Or something? Or the reverse?

(Note from the future: Jackie feared her biological daughter because she had supernatural abilities; and ran away hoping to save her son from the same experimentation and fate. ...But her son?-- or her daughter?-- already had powers and forced her to cut him out??? by manipulating her brain????????? to find his way back to his sister??????????????? Even though he was a baby??????????????????? And she still doesn't know this, hoping to see him again someday...????????????????????????????????????????

THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY THE TEEN/YOUNG WOMAN WAS ALSO FORCED TO CUT HER BABY OUT AFTER BEING HIT BY A CAR, per the baby's instructions. Because that's what the episode says happens.

DO THESE ALIEN BABIES HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST VEHICULAR MANSLAUGHTER OR WHAT????)

Guys, this is dumb. 

Mulder’s stupid sunglasses. 

But he looks goofy overall, so I’ll CHOOSE to be endeared rather than angry or petulant.  

(IchoosethisIchoosethisIchoosethisIchoosethis--)

Wait, why does Mulder keep getting affected by the brain thing?

More importantly. 

The episode is setting up a few, blatant parallels:

These parents are having brain problems.

Their kids are experimentation kids.

William's probably an experimentation kid.

Which is stupid, but would then prove Mulder is the biological father.

They will sacrifice this parallel to the plot but also because Scully, not Mulder, ends up being the one to communicate constantly with William.

Which would prove William-Jackson is still Scully's biologically.

(Note from the future: This complete theory is debunked in about two seconds; but will be recycled later for Scully's Morse Code seizure. Wonderful.)

It’s all. 

So. 

Stupid.

Stupid sunglasses. 

I…

I died laughing. 

Guys. 

I’m gonna include a clip because it’s so goofy. 

Context: Mulder’s brain thingy is acting up, so Scully has to run around to find a kid-- Kyle-- so he’ll… help? her partner. Hence, we have Gillian trying to keep up her Revival smoker voice whilst running off and shouting, “KYyyYYyyyyYYLLllelleleee”:

This is The X-Files. 

Weep and gnash your teeth in torment. 

This is old. 

Sorry, Mulder’s ears should be busted by now. Gimme fic where he now has to use hearing aids.  

They grabbed Kyle and stuffed him in the car. 

Ahh, this is the scene where Mulder looks back at Kyle and someone mentioned it looks like Mulder looking back at William in another, better universe (post here.) 

Okay, so, this kid doesn’t mean to hurt people by communicating with his mind, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut was or wasn’t responsible for Sanjay’s death (who was helping him.)

Scully decides “LET’S PRETEND TO HAND HIM OVER TO HIS EVIL SCIENTIST DAD IN ORDER TO FIND HIS SISTER” and that sounds reasonable. As reasonable as a starving pig at a pie fair. 

Wait.

The kid was a janitor.

Sanjay was helping him.

Sanjay was working for Evil Scientist dude.

Sanjay was trying to figure out where the kid's sister was, or he knew where she was but wasn't telling the kid?

The kid-- Kyle-- accidentally killed Sanjay because his... powers were outta control?

And... the kid can connect with different people's minds and that's how he hacked Mulder's brain (which retracts my biological theory... until, again, Scully's Morse Code seizure reinforces it.)

But the kid attacked Mulder when Mulder and Scully questioned his (adopted) mom... didn't he already know who Mulder was?

And the kid kept pressuring Sanjay to find his sister, so much so that Sanjay hadn't been able to sleep well or function in weeks?

So, this kid's... questionable, at best.

Evil Scientist, M.D., pretended to introduce the kid to his sister, but Kyle wasn't BAMBOOZLED nor FOOLED. 

Oh, btw, this kid is Jackie’s son. Looks an awful lot like William-Jackson... but anyway. (Jackson's storyline is brazenly ripped off from CC's own material, wow-- right down to the "never saw my son again" line. The writers have charming things to say about adopted families in The X-Files.)

Now he’s running around the hospital looking for Molly (the sister who scared Jackie because she can breathe underwater, etc. etc.)

Reunited with Molly.

Now the kids are throwing the adults with their minds and killing Evil Scientist Badman with the brain thing in order to stay reunited, I guess. Like the Eves. (Another rip-off recycle of their own source material.)

SO, anyway, the Evil Scientist Father died a very gruesome death. 

Cut to the place swarmed with FBI. 

Another guy said, “Skinner, keep your sfjfkfsdfksj behind the red tape.” I think. Can’t understand him. 

Guys, this is the first Mulder-and-Scully posturing I’ve seen since the series began. Praise be, they’re not mannequins. 

Here's the Mulder and William "could have been"s.  

See, guys? His faith is back. He’s choosing to remember his son and reengage with his past~. 

Yeah, and where did THAT come from. 

To recap:

Mulder had depression sometime after 2012, so bad that it made Scully… leave, I guess (which would have been a death sentence for someone with a temperament like Mulder’s.) 

But he shouldn't have had depression after 2012 because 2012 just reset the Colonization clock (according to he, himself, and his theory.)  

So, he’s got "no reason" depression, then disconnects from Conspiracies and shoves away memories of William. 

But he hadn’t had a breakdown or disconnect from reality before My Struggle I (which made Scully’s decision to leave even stupider.) 

And Scully worries he’ll have a breakdown in My Struggle I. 

And he actually didn’t leave Conspiracyville despite also leaving it and knowing things he shouldn’t and not knowing things he should. 

Following?

Conspiracy guy calls up Skinner who calls up Scully who calls up Mulder; and he and she don't hesitate to investigate despite putting “that life” behind them. 

There were no aliens, period, only men in government wearing suits or planting false memories or whathaveyou. 

He’s still got depression but doesn’t, actually, in My Struggle I despite Scully thinking he does and worrying he’ll have a breakdown despite knowing he left Conspiracyville; but also won't be coming home, etc. etc.

Both are let into the FBI.

Still following? 

He put William behind him but engages in conspiracies now (despite still engaging in them while not engaging in them-- you get it.) 

Let me reiterate: Mulder. put someone that he loved. behind him. 

Mulder makes peace with the thought that William’s his son regardless and daydreams about movies and rocket ships. 

And that’s that on all his hangups, I guess. His crops are watered and his depression is cured. 

And now he and Scully are installed at the FBI... despite the unlikelihood either of them would pass the physical tests, let alone the training they'd need to requalify. To put them on the field otherwise would be very, very dangerous... right, Skinner?

The End. 

Just make this easier for me next time and beat a bat over my head. 

I do have another nitpick. 

Mulder is too downcast in his “happier times” flashbacks, especially compared to Scully’s buoyant, sweet, upbeat persona. So, basically, he has a stunning lack of imagination, I guess. 

Which, jokes aside, is an interesting thought: Mulder creating realities in his mind so convincingly mapped onto his current one that it’s even more devastating to snap out of them and face each and every unsatisfying day.

Also, both he and Scully have the same sort of nightmare....

This had BETTER be Jackson’s way of reaching out to them for help, or so help me I’m going to label these moments as narrative clickbait. 

EYYYYYY, we got an actual Mulder “NO!” It sounded like him, too! FINALLY! SPIRIT! SPUNK! THE MULDER ESSENCE. 

Oh, yeah, that William can get yeeted-- he doesn’t fit my headcanon, anyway. 

Mulder's sitting upright, too, without having woken from a nightmare.

…So this was a deliberate choice on the filmmakers’ part. 

So this is setting up for something. Like William communicating to them BOTH in waking dreams. 

We all know that won’t happen, but, anyway. 

CONCLUSION

YOU’RE NOT GETTING ME WITH THE HAPPY FAMILY TIMES, YOU MANIPULATORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

YOU CAN’T TAKE ME ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE. 

Also: very rarely do I like movie kitchens, but Mulder's... is alright.

Lastly: again, I am so tired. 

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!  

[cinhomi]

Hear me out like dilf!Felix agenda or Minho as your teacher IDK-. My friend recently told me about the move Miller’s girl coming out soon and I’ve been thinking about just Minho as your teacher lmao.IDK HE WOULD BE SUCH A STONIC DUDE BUT LIKE WHILE YOU GUYS ARE ALONE HE WOULD BE JSJSJSJS

(May I be 🎀 anon jsjsjsj)

DILF FELIX 😵‍💫 TEACHER MINHO 😵‍💫 I want to caress your face and boop your nose. HOW CAN I FIT BOTH IN ONE ASK THAT WOULD BE 5K WORDSー I'll focus on teacher Minho but PLEASE come back with dilf Felix BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT TO SAY ABOUT HIM TOO OMG

teacher Lee Minho who is known to be this scary, strict man that has all kinds of stories about him being told from student to student in the corridors since he's very reservate and mysterious. he dresses formally, with cool and natural toned dress shirts, vests, ties and blazers. his pants always hug his tighs a little bit too tight when he rests on the border of his desk.

teacher... call him professor. professor Lee. he checks his expensive gold watch from time to time, and accurately displays his book, agenda and pen in a precise order. most students don't know they end up on the floor when he clears the surface for you to sit - or lay - on the polished wooden surface. he likes to be tidy and on time... so when he starts to be late to put down some papers in the teachers' room, or when he has to meet a colleague with his hair disheveled and his tie loose, well, it's only natural to be suspicious. but he's a serious man. he must have some trouble in his life... some trouble that he enjoys a bit too much.

professor Lee Minho who tilts his head to the side the first time he sees you, a puzzled expression on his face because he doesn't understand how someone so gorgeous, sweet and beautiful like you could exist. he doesn't realize it, but now when he's having a lesson in your class it seems like he's explaining things only to you, his gaze fixed on your shiny eyes that look directly into his, on your tempting lips, it drops a bit lower where he can see your naked legs cross under a flimsy skirt. he often comes close to your desk and looks carefully at your calligraphy, or to be precise, at your fingers holding the pen. he slowly starts wondering how'd they look wrapped around him.

he's known for being the most observant and smart professor of the institute so you can't really fool him, it's so obvious your cute little panties get wet when he smiles whenever you know the answer to one of his tricky questions, when he rests a hand on the smaller of your back when he has to pass beside you in the corridors, when he praises you for doing so good on his subject. everyone is starting to think he's got a preference... and it's so damn true. he doesn't alter your score, it really is admirable, your talent on his subject, but you're the only one he's never scolded or insulted somehow.

you're his perfect pupil, he holds you on the palm of his hand. it's not the first time he has students trying to fall into his favour, seduce him, but you... you don't do it on purpose, he has enough experience to know that. yes, you may stay up late to have the best score with him and him only, but you are so natural and obvious with your feelings, it's adorable.

he wants you all to himself.

professor Lee Minho who, after few months of seeing each other almost everyday, asks you if you want to stay a bit more after your classes so he can give you private lessons to go a bit more in depth with whatever topic you're studying at the moment. at first it really is like this, him sitting on his comfy, soft chair and you beside him on the chipped and hard one, swallowing your whimpers whenever your knees touch. oh you're so cute. you take coffees together, he brings you nice treats from the café he goes to every morning, after two weeks he promises to eat you out if all of your answers are correct. but don't worry, before making such promise he wooed you respectfully, with manners, like a true gentleman. before unbottoning your delicate shirt to fondle with your breasts to help you concentrate he did flirt with you to the point you had to get up and splash your face with cold water.

he loves it when you call him "Mr. Lee" in public, but when he locks the classroom he becomes "Min" or sometimes "Sir", or, other times, "Master". he even goes through the trouble of taking you to his place sometimes. Minho is a good cook, but you never eat much in those occasions.

he loves it when before starting the day you subtly give him your lacy panties and he has to sneak them in the pocket of his blazer. he can't help that mischievolous smirk from forming on his lips, knowing your perfect pussy is bare and ready for him if he wants to. and nothing will stop him from avidly taking the soft fabric to inhale your scent while palming his growing bulge everytime he's alone.

Mr. Lee also loves when he's correcting his students' works and you study while sitting on his lap, his lenght buried deep inside you. he likes to pat your head when you do a good job, but he also makes you choke on his cock if what you did doesn't please him at all.

professor Lee Minho that notices you scoff and sigh and pout when another student flirts with him, so when you two meet later he makes sure to fuck you like the good girl you are for him. he treats you so well, how can you be jealous? it's so, so obvious he's obsessed with you.

I see prof. Lee making you bend down his desk, his grip tight on your hips, under your skirt that jumps back and foward from his slow but powerful thrusts and your panties moved to the side. he's bending over your back, with his breath fanning on your neck, his lovely praises going straight to your throbbing core. I see prof. Lee making you sit on his pompous chair as he kneels for you and spreads your legs to dive his head in between them. I see prof. Minho using a ruler to tease your clit and your asscheeks. I see prof. Minho rolling his eyes in pure bliss as you ride him in the bathroom.

mmh... he eventually admits to himself that he fell for his student and has to switch schools to be able to take you out on week-end dates <3

I will write more about.

[hanjisungslag]

haiii >_< what type of fantasy characters/stererotypes would aot characters be?

- any characters you want but def reiner pls＾ ty baby

🧝‍♀️ aot characters & fantasy

characters included: eren, armin, mikasa, sasha, connie, jean, annie, reiner, bertolt, levi, erwin & hange!!

notes: this was so fun to do omg

✧ eren jaeger - hero gone villain

okay i know this is a bit basic to do… but c’mon!! he’s literally the epitome of ‘i’ve become what i sought out to destroy’ and i just can’t think of him as anything else. he fits the stereotype too well😭.

✧ armin arlert - mage

he is soooo side kick mage, no? tell me you can’t imagine armin (specifically with the mushroom hair) wearing a wizard gown, hat and holding a magical old stick. he doesn’t like to leave his tower often but is usually forced to when something goes amiss - i can imagine him sighing deeply while reluctantly grabbing his magical old stick.

✧ mikasa ackerman - sidekick

bad ass sidekick who lives in the woods & is probably on the run. i’m thinking… arcana muriel vibes for this but less stoic and quiet (and less cursed) but, she definitely learnt to fight in the woods when she was 3 OR taken in by an old, rugged guy whose family died tragically. either way, everyone’s terrified of her but she steals bread for orphans or some heroic shit like that.

✧ jean kirsten - prince

himbo prince😭 i mean this in the BEST way possibly mkay! he’s not really a himbo however… he just gives prince who accidentally got entangled in a weird adventure and he doesn’t know how to live without servants. he’s be like “erm, i am not crossing that muddy river.” BUT THE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT WOULD BE INSANE by the end, he’d like finally understand how bad the government is or how poor the townspeople are and give them money.

✧ connie springer - the fool

sigh… the fool, the court jester, etc etc. he would be himbo prince jean’s court jester 100% and they’re like actually pretty good friends, they’ve known each other since they were kids. he also gets dragged along with jean on a weird adventure and he would be the comedic relief. (also a shoulder for jean to cry on when he gets mud on his fancy royal shoes).

✧ sasha braus - henchman

hunter/henchman hellooo…? literally expert at using a bow and arrow? grew up in the woods?? she would EAT so hard being a henchman and to make it even better, when someone hires her they don’t know she’s a girl and whenever someone finds out, they’ll be so shocked!! feminism!

✧ reiner braun - the beast

dare i say… some sort of big beast? like a big, fluffy beast but make it sexy, beauty and the beast vibes perhaps. imagine fighting this big and surprisingly attractive who lives under a bridge. IM SORRY THAT WOULD BE SO FUN… i’m thinking like diane from sds vibes too!!

✧ bertolt hoover - squire

young, little boy training to be a knight aka a squire. tell me you cant see this little cutie patootie dressed to the nines in armour, learning how to swing a sword?! maybe him and annie trained together or dare i say, he looks up to her.

✧ annie leonhart - knight

sworn shield to a princess that she falls in love with. imma need someone to write a fanfic about this RIGHT NOW!! we all know annie knows how to whop some ass so, of course she was chosen by the king and queen to protect their precious daughter but what happens when… she falls in love! GAH!! of course, she could never speak of her feelings - maybe one day.

✧ levi ackerman - assassin

leader of some sort of renegade, like a special group of assassins. no matter what universe this man is in, his crown will never fall! his title carries on throughout all possible realties m’kay. same backstory though 100%, raised in the poor ditches but learnt how to fight and now he’s a leader of a renegade! you have to pay big buck to get levi to assassinate someone, he’s the best of the best after all.

✧ erwin smith - commander

i’m sorry to be basic and boring but a commander of an army. HE HAS TO BEEE 😭it’s too perfect, i’m sorry. except imagine the army is all medieval and dripped out in chainmail!

✧ hange zoë - pirate

a pirate. LIKE CMONNN especially s4 hange with the eye patch?! i can totally imagine hange running a ship and sailing the seven seas. they’re literally a commander too? it was written in the stars, they’re perfect for the role! i can totally see them playing devious pranks and tricks on other pirates trying to secure the same treasure.

[tachimichishrine]

i’ve found someone who writes for tachi?? omg?? you’re writing is so amazing i love it! can i req an x reader where she’s like chuuya’s subordinate in the pm so she’s higher ranking than tachihara but takes an interest in him bc, hello?? who wouldn’t? so she starts to play specific moves that draw them closer together (ngl im thinking mastermind by taylor swift if yk the song) and when they’re finally dating he confesses that he knew what she was doing the whole time? aka intelligent slightly manipulative reader thinking she’s being slick abt it. thank youu!

<welcome to the corner of tumblr where we worship tachi and have no shame about it !!!!!!!!!!! OH FUCK YEAH I love this ask I love the idea and I love you, i've never heard that song before but woah it got my brain juices flowing, sorry it took centuries but here you go luv ♡>

"mastermind"

⫭◦⨝◦⫬

tachihara michizou x fem! chuuya's subordinate! reader

warnings: mention of drugs/alcohol and drink spiking (dont try this at home kids) ; a little bit of gore/torture but it's one sentence ; for some reason there are some elements of kind of sort of yandere!reader that just manifested themselves grgrgr but barely i promiseee ; fluff + plot ; cursing n intended lowercase

it was the middle of the night, and your phone wouldn't stop ringing. you tried snoozing it, turning it on silent but it would keep vibrating on the night table aggressively. against your better judgement, you picked it up and took a look at the caller id.

"boss man 🤏🧍"

well, you couldn't ignore that.

"what the fuck do you want you short little shit, it's 2 in the fucking morning," you grumbled, then cleared your throat before actually pressing the green icon to pick up the line. "hello, boss. is there anything I can-"

"cut the bull, where the hell are you?"

"um, at home? sleeping?" you raised a brow that he couldn't see. "am I supposed to be somewhere?"

"you- forget about it. just get here, now."

now, he was really getting on your nerves. "get where? I can't read your mind, boss, what-"

he hung up.

you didn't have a problem with chuuya in general; he was a decent guy, sometimes. you got assigned to work under him in the fallout of his partner, the famed demon prodigy, disappearing. of course, he didn't want anything to do with you at first, and you would've felt the same if mori wasn't breathing down your neck to keep on it. so, you kept showing up on his missions a few minutes before he arrived, the information already extracted or people already beat to a pulp.

he still wouldn't budge, so you had enough of working so hard just to be his subordinate and exploded at him one day. he could barely get a word in as you yelled loudly and ranted about his inability to accept help. while he was speechless in the aftermath, you just sighed tiredly, handed him your phone number and said that you weren't going away anytime soon and you'd appreciate it if he would just let you work for him already. time passed and eventually you got his trust.

what you didn't get, however, was an explanation for why you were rushing to slide into clothing fit for the outside world and making your way to the port mafia headquarters. it was the only place he could mean, so you ran over there with guns strapped to your thighs and safety off. you had to plan for whatever the hell might've been going on, but all you saw was a nearly empty lobby.

you cursed under your breath, irritated that you busted your ass for no reason. from the corner of your eye, you found a familiar face and approached him.

"hirotsu," you walked over with a pissed expression, "do you know where chuuya is?"

"oh, chuuya isn't here. he told me he'd be sending someone to deal with it," he said following a polite nod of the head. "he needed the black lizard to perform a mission, but he's unavailable tonight. so, he said that he'd send you."

"he's unavailable?" your eyes nearly bulged straight out of your skull, but you caught the slight squint in his face. "oh. he's drunk out of his mind, isn't he?"

hirotsu nodded solemnly. "I'm afraid so. mori only gave him this assignment tonight, and he was already intoxicated when he got the call. I was with him when it happened, so I suggested he call you."

"oh, he so owes me one after tonight," you chuckled, less angry now that you realized he was probably just collapsed on his couch at home and will have the worst hangover the next morning, which you could easily mock him for. well, at least that brightened your mood a little, aside from seeing the black lizard in action. you'd heard of them, ordered massacres through hirotsu but never been there to witness it. that would definitely be fun. "sooo, what exactly do I need to do? just be there or something? yell out 'fire!' like some kind of medieval war commander? 'cause I've always wanted to do that."

the old man was slightly amused by all of your excitement regarding the concept. he said that he just needed someone to be there in case, and you were technically of a higher ranking than he was. you told him that he was such a stickler for hierarchy; he retorted that you sounded like some guy he worked with named tachihara. who that was, you hadn't a clue, but you were assured he'd be there alongside another leader of the battalion.

the rest was a lot less interesting than you thought it would be. you strolled into an abandoned warehouse where the enemy was based with a small army behind you, and you stood there while they lined themselves at your side and waited for your word. you went against your inner child and ordered them to fire in a normal voice rather than a stupidly dramatic one, then you just watched the bodies fall. you glanced at the side to see hirotsu, who was intently scanning his surroundings to make sure there were no tricks. by his side, you saw a masked person and another man who was half-asleep, leaning against the wall.

you fell hard to the sound of gunshots.

maybe it was the way his entire body leaned onto the worn concrete, the way his foot was flattened against the wall and his hips slumped lopsidedly, the way his v-neck plunged down his chest from under his coat, the way his jaw sat tight and clenched despite his slender neck bending backwards to rest the weight of his head behind him. you pulled your gaze off of him since you were afraid of staring, but everyone was already dead and hirotsu was commanding the nameless suits back to hq. the man opened one eye - fuck, they were a glossy amber, some of the prettiest you'd ever seen - and scoffed while he followed them out. he walked like a textbook delinquent, hands in his pockets with awful posture, and you just watched him.

shit, what just happened? you exchanged some brief words with hirotsu as he thanked you for showing up, but all went over your head. you blurted out the question before you could think twice.

"which one of them was tachihara? out of the two who came with us. since, y'know, you were mentioning him earlier..." since, y'know, you couldn't get the picture of your mystery man out of your head and you needed to know his name.

following the affirmation that it was indeed the man with the bandage on his face, you at least had a name as you flopped back into bed at 5 in the morning. you didn't sleep, and you sure as hell couldn't get your heart to stop beating so fast.

something had unhinged inside of you, and all you knew was that you were going to have him.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"boss, what'd'ya want me to do to 'em?" you yawned, half-asleep as you sat next to the hungover mafioso who was holding some kind of mystery drink in his hand while the other shielded his eyes from the light of day. you came over to his apartment - something which you knew he hated but was in no position to protest right now - and were simultaneously nursing him back to health and being a pain in his ass. "if word gets out that we annihilated the organization but two of their executives are still alive, our rep would take a hit."

"can you shut the fuck up," he groaned, body slumping further onto his fancy kitchen counter while you continued to laugh internally at him and his slightly pathetic situation.

"look, boss, I'll tell you what," you leaned down to his crouched over height and placed a cautious hand on his shoulder, "I'll take care of it. the whole thing. I just need your permission to grab the black lizard if I need 'em for support, but I can make sure it all goes away. and you can just sit today out and spend all day in bed if that's what you want. how does that sound, boss?"

he grumbled and passed out again; you took that as a yes.

you smiled to yourself as you picked up the unconscious body bridal-style, walked over to his bedroom and set him down. he complained loudly in undefined slurring, but you just shushed him and tucked him in under the covers. he was still trying to argue with you when you removed his hat, placed it at his bedside and then gently kissed his forehead and wished him a good nap. it was a little ironic just how much your boss felt like an uncontrollable younger sibling, but you would never say it to his face as you enjoyed the use of your unfractured limbs.

you tiptoed your way out of the apartment and the building, despite being fairly certain that not even an earthquake could disturb his slumber, with parts and pieces of your plan coming together. what you said was true, you did need to take care of those surviving executives. but you didn't really need the black lizard.

you only needed him.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

tachihara heard a gentle cocking of the gun as you glanced in his direction, waiting confirmation that he was indeed ready to storm the facility. you had managed to track down the runaways and corner them in their hideout, and decided you'd call for "backup"; you asked hirotsu for someone who was good with guns and mid-range fighting, since you knew that if you didn't specify, you might end up with the other commander of the black lizard. you didn't like leaving things to chance.

you tilted your head to the side, giving the signal for him to go ahead and sneak down the next hallway. he was eerily good on his feet, light steps as if he were made to be a spy. you did a lot of infiltration work on chuuya's behalf (his face - rather, his short frame - were too easily recognizable on the streets), and every second got you thinking of ways to subtly suggest to him that he provide backup once more on any one of your numerous infiltration missions.

for his part, tachihara didn't seem to be noticing all the coincidences lately. he didn't appear particularly deft or clueless, just indifferent as if he truly couldn't care less. instead of a faint pang in the backrooms of your heart, you felt a sense of challenge, like it was your mission to get him to fall for you because the good things in life are worth fighting for. besides, where's the fun in it if he wasn't playing hard to get?

the mission went by in a blur. you mimicked his mannerisms, ensuring that your movements were perfectly synced with his so that your gunshots felt more like a dance, synchronized bullet ballet. when all was done and the bodies were dropped, you shot him a faint smile.

he raised a brow, perplexed at your joy among the sea of blood, but you began clutching at your chest like he'd shot you with his glare and he chuckled a little bit. you could've sworn you fell in love with him all over again.

"say, I was wondering..." you thought out loud as you crouched down to the body of the target, pulling out a knife from your calf, "are you new? in the port mafia, I mean. I've been here ages and I don't think I would've forgotten someone who shoots like you do."

leaning on the wall while he watched you carve out their skin, peeling off a specific section that had their organization's signature tattoo, tachihara scoffed. "what's it to you?"

"just makin' small talk, don't get your panties in a twist sweetheart," you snickered, albeit screaming a little internally; you didn't expect him to be so resistant. you bagged the proof you needed to show your boss that you got the job done, then rose back to your feet. "alright, we're done here. thanks for the backup."

"wasn't like it was my choice," he rolled his eyes, although you didn't sense any true irritation in his voice. good, this is good, you can work with that.

"wasn't your choice, huh?" you repeated to yourself out loud. "how 'bout this, then: I'm gonna go grab a drink, so it'd be your choice if ya wanted to tag along, no?"

he murmured something about being busy and you tried not to let him see you frown as you walked out.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

this was your fifth "coincidence".

coincidentally, tachihara ended up needing to hand-deliver a message to chuuya, but you coincidentally bumped into him and promised to pass it on. he looked at you a bit suspiciously, but didn't say anything.

coincidentally, you were out drinking with hirotsu on the same day he was going to join the old man. you wouldn't go so far as to say that you played a part in the veteran's sudden diarrhea that left you two alone, but then again it was quite odd that you slipped some sort of substance in his drink right before. not that anyone saw, of course.

coincidentally, weeks of coincidences paid off. every time you'd run into him, need the black lizard or the other way around, he was starting to loosen up. you had a number of inside jokes and he spoke a little more on missions.

this time, you had to go negotiate with a foreign organization from which you imported an important number of your firearms. chuuya was available to go, but you pleaded with him to let you do this on your own, making up some lie about how sending an underling instead of an executive would show them that they are not the ones in control. he seemed skeptical but let you go.

soon afterwards, you whipped out your phone to dial his number.

"it's so unfair!" you complained to tachihara, groaning loudly as you combed through your closet for the right outfit for the occasion. "like I get it, he's busy and all, but dumping a mission on me last minute? sheesh, that's a cheap move, especially from chuuya. I've got 2 hours to figure out what the fuck I'm going to say to these people."

you left the phone on speaker while you pressed dresses against your figure, glancing in the mirror to see if it was the right one. "and it's a big organization, too! I have no idea what I'm going to do if things go south except get my brains blown out."

lies. if things went south, you would easily be able to make your way out unscathed. you were the right hand woman to a port mafia executive, not a scared little girl, but he didn't need to know that right now.

"would'ya like me to tag along? if they see one person, it might look like you were sent as a sacrifice, but if we're two, they'll know we mean business," he offered, as planned. you pumped your fists in the air and contained a squeal.

"hm? oh, you don't need to do that, tachi," you said softly, sliding out of your clothes and into your form-fitting outfit, making sure to check out your ass and reaffirm that you looked stunning. "wait! I'm just kidding," you giggled playfully, "it would mean a lot if you did. thanks."

he chuckled the faintest amount, and you made plans for when and where to meet. you told him that it was a high-end restaurant, so he'd need to wear something fancy enough to blend in, but of course the high-end restaurant was your idea. you'd planned it all in advance, setting up a corner in the back of a place that the mafia had under their thumb and inviting the organization there.

a date, it was a date, and it didn't matter if he didn't know it.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"you look stunning, dear." he grabbed your hand and kissed the back of it, looking up with soft eyes you'd never have expected. he pulled out a seat for you and called the waiter to get you a cold glass of water.

unfortunately, "he" was the executive from the other organization, not tachihara.

awkwardly, your plus one stood in the corner with the rest of the guards, shooting you occasional glares that basically screamed, "why did I volunteer to do this, again?" you just laughed internally and told yourself that you'd take him out again as a way to make up for it, which was your goal all along. you adored it when all the pieces fell into place.

the negotiations were flawless. the man across the table from you seemed to be very willing to cooperate, and you figured his slight cracks at flirting might've been a part of it. the other part was that he looked positively jet lagged and you might've put a little something in his wine to mellow him out. you were sure he would've reached the same conclusion if he was sober, this was just a harmless little nudge in the right direction.

"10% increase on the price for a 20% increase on the quantity of firearms imported, then," you reiterated, smiling sweetly at him while he agreed to double what someone in their right mind would ask for. "lovely doing business with you, sir. I'm glad this didn't have to escalate."

he smiled softly, offering you his hand to help you up then nodding his head towards the exit so his goons would follow him out. you looked at the piece of paper he'd slid into your palm, a phone number etched into it, then watched him looking back at you with a wink. for a moment, you could've sworn you'd almost forgotten about tachihara.

"that was boring as fuck," he strolled over to you, clicking his tongue as he complained about his feet hurting from standing there for so long, saying that he wouldn't have worn a goddamn suit and tagged along if he knew all he would be doing is watching you flirt with some guy."

"that," you stressed, pocketing the number but trying not to think about it, "was not flirting. if I was whoring myself out for the mafia, believe me I'd put myself down with my own hand."

"oh yeah? brave words for a woman with a dress that tight on her ass," he scoffed, crossing his arms before he realized what he'd just said.

"tachi, you lookin' at my ass?"

he seemed at a loss for words, huffing angrily as he walked out and you laughed to yourself. he was so cute when he got angry.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

tachihara michizou was not an idiot.

he, however, did not know what to make of your behaviour towards him.

all these run-ins, all your conveniently-timed missions where you were down one person, every text you seemed to send at the perfect time. he knew your gaze lingered on him and he knew that you wore that dress for him, but he couldn't be sure about it.

confirmation came when he was casually chatting with chuuya over drinks.

"my damn subordinate has been so fucking weird lately," the executive slurred, gesturing for another glass while he toyed with the empty one. "reminds me of that fucking dazai... always plotting some kind of shit..."

"she sounded kind of pissed with you 'cause of that last gig with the firearms dealers," he retorted before downing his shot and slamming his fist on the counter out of adrenaline. "since you dumped it on her."

"huh?! the fuck you mean, dump it on her? she was practically beggin' me for that job, said she didn't want any backup either. I'm telling you, tachi, that chick's gone mad."

so it was a lie, when you called him, complaining. he wondered what else was a lie, but then he wondered why you would lie about that.

as if on cue, a message popped up on his phone with your name on it.

"are you free tonight?"

so he wasn't imagining things. for some reason, it got his heart beating, thinking about the fact that someone would do that for him. but, before he could respond, another ping:

"I got shot sorry lol I have no idea why I made it sound like I was asking you out. could you bring a first aid kit or something? thanks a ton!!"

he concluded on the fact that you were confusing, and that he wouldn't say anything about it, especially since you probably think you're incredibly slick about it. instead, tachihara excused himself from a very drunk chuuya and said he had to go.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

"ow, ow, ow! fuck, why don't you just pour the whole damn bottle on there, while you're at i- fuck!"

the whining was hard. you had to do it manually, making sure you actually sounded like you were in pain when really, your "fever" was from all the heat of feeling tachihara's hands on you as he dabbed the wound.

ironically enough, this wasn't planned. you genuinely did fuck up, the man you never called seemed to want revenge because he sent a few people to kidnap you. you only got grazed while you took care of all the henchmen, but it still hurt like a little bitch.

he was the first place your mind went to, as always. you managed to get yourself home but you couldn't reach the spot on the bottom of your ribcage where it sliced open without feeling a lot of pain.

and so, you just turned it into an opportunity to get him in your house, sitting on your couch, his hands on your skin that was barely covered by your shirt. the alcohol he was pouring onto the wound hurt but you couldn't feel anything except pure ecstacy.

"say, you're not bad at this," you fake winced as he pinched the skin together and just put a bunch of superglue on it. "you got... gah, you got experience as a medic or somethin'?"

"how exactly did this happen?" he ignored your question and instead helped you up slightly so he could wrap the bandages around your torso.

"remember the guy from the other night? well, he gave me his number and I never called, so he got butthurt and sent some goons to fuckin' kidnap me. or kill me, I'm not sure. I didn't really pause to ask 'em."

he looked as if he almost didn't believe you, pulling down your shirt and gently tapping on the spot he bandaged. "there, you're all set."

"thanks again," you smiled at him, groaning a bit as you sat upright. "I know it's late and you were probably doing some other shit."

then a slight pause. "if you want to crash on my couch instead of walkin' home, I don't mind."

the walk wasn't long, and he didn't feel tired at all, but he didn't tell you that. he just helped you walk over to your bed then got himself comfortable on your sofa.

you'd never been happier to get shot. maybe the universe was finally on your side, in its own weird way.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

the wound was fully healed and tachihara was yours.

it was the perfect excuse to him check on you, to have him come over and stay over as "protection in case someone tries to kill you again". both of you knew your excuse was bullshit, your plotting to get him by your side so painfully obvious now that he was getting closer and closer to you. by the time he was making visits on his own and smiling at you in the hallways at the port mafia, you didn't need to do anything anymore.

it was a wordless confession; both of you walking in the streets at night, going nowhere and not saying much. it was cold and you could see both of your breaths swirling in the air. you blinked and suddenly your faces were close, too close, and your body was leaning in on its own. his lips tasted like something your mind could've never guessed.

nevertheless, you were still addicted.

something about the kiss felt effortless, too. like you didn't need to do anything, say anything to get him to wrap his hands around your hips and pull you in close. this was the way it should be, easy and effortless. like you could wait patiently and he'd fall in love with you all on his own.

"have you seen my holster?" he called out weeks later as you laid down on your couch, reading a book as he looked around for the item.

"it's over here!" you called out, the holster expertly hidden in between the cushions because you wanted him to come over to you and find it. as he walked over to you, watching you wave it while dangling on your finger, a teasing look on your features.

"you're a conniving little shit, you know that?" he sighed with a soft smile, glancing at your hands as you set down the book by your side then sitting by your side. "if you wanna talk to me, you can ask like a regular person, y'know?"

his wide smirk as he looked at you pout, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as you fake-sobbed into his chest. "you're so mean, thinking I'm lying!"

he grabbed your chin, gaze directly settling onto you with a look that said not to bullshit him. "you think I don't notice? when you kept bumping into me, us getting paired up on missions, even that time you said chuuya 'dumped' that job on you? yeah, you're cute but you're not a great liar."

you furrowed your brows. "if you knew, why didn't you say anything?"

"'cause I wanted you to tell me yourself."

"asshole," you pouted, laughing as you leaned towards him and kissed the tip of his nose. "I just didn't think... never mind, it worked, didn't it?"

he rolled over, laying you down on the couch and settling himself on top of you, making sure you were trapped. "being all cryptic now, aren't we?"

"maybe," you muttered between kisses, wrapping your legs around his hips and pulling him deeper. "... maybe... maybe you were just... I dunno, so pretty, and I thought 'fuck, he'd never go for me' and... I don't know, it's not important..."

"aw, look at you, gettin' all soft 'n mushy," he chuckled into your neck, smiling at your words while his teeth graze the tip of your earlobe. "keep talking 'bout how out of your league that I am."

"oh, shut up," you whispered, grabbing a handful of his hair and bringing his lips back onto yours so he would stop talking. "I'm tryin to open up here, you smug dipshit."

he grinned as his hand went down in between your thighs, parting them and opening up your legs. "I like the sound of that."

you squealed playfully and rolled him over, but the couch wasn't wide enough and you both fell onto the floor with a dull thud and a frenzy of laughter.

"seriously, though," he brushed your hair out of your face and pulled your hips so you were snug on him while you caught your breath and lowered yourself to kiss him again, "you're talkin' nonsense, baby."

"mmn, if you say so," rolled right onto his tongue. you believed his words, or maybe you didn't, but it barely mattered. he was here now, in your arms and telling you everything you wanted to hear. he said that he knew of your antics, yet the truth was that he couldn't do a damn thing about it if he wanted to.

all because you're a mastermind.

[koki-hai]

i’ve been missing nagito lately so can i request a nsfw nagito x fem reader fic with a pervy nagito and a little noncon🤭 any scenario is fine i’m desperate

You ask and I shall answer!

Now keep in mind I don't do much cc x reader only because I'm kinda bad at it but it's Nagito and I can't pass up that now can I (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

Content Warning: non-con

Summary: You go into the beach house to dry your hair when you run into a horny Nagito.

.

.

.

Pervy Nagito Komaeda x Reader Smut

You were playing with your friends, Chiaki, Mahiru, Ibuki and Peko in the water. You guys were slashing each other and laughing. You felt nice under the kiss of the sun and the light breeze feathering your exposed skin. You trip on the shallow water while horseplaying with Ibuki and both drop to the floor. After a bit of a laughing fit, you groan a bit, feeling your damp hair sit on your shoulders. A blood curdling scream erupted from Ibuki.

"Oh my my! Ibuki is so sorry! Please y/n! Throw me into a volcano and watch me burn!" Ibuki apologizes profusely to you while her hands are together, praying for an apology.

"Hey Ibuki it's okay don't worry! It's okay! It's just a little water" you try to calm her down as you get up, "It's no biggie! Trust me!"

"But y/n wanted to leave your hair dry! I'm truly sorry!" She insisted as she shakes your shoulders. You smile at her irrational self but try to reassure her. You grab her wrists and pull them down and look at her straight in the eyes.

"It's okay I promise! I mean I started it so it was coming! I'll just go dry my hair in the beach house and hang it up! Don't worry! I'll come back for round 2!" You say to Ibuki, comforting her. She gives you a nod and she tugs at your hair, wringing most of the water out to help you some. You smile and walk away from the group of girls and head to the beach house.

You walk inside the beach house and notice Nagito in there.

"Oh hello there y/n.." he says waving at you, "what are you doing in here? Already leaving?" He asks innocently as he was applying white sun lotion on his even paler white skin, applying it unevenly.

Weird.. you didn't see Nagito around before coming. And he somehow knew you guys just got here 10 minutes ago? You brush this aside these thoughts and just try to focus on drying your hair. "Just here to dry my hair.." you answer curtly.

You take out a towel from the towel rack to wring out your hair some more... Only that there wasn't any towels there. You could've sworn there was. None of you brought towels because you just assumed there would be towels here. No biggie. It is an island after all, not a huge deal seeing people dripping and in swim suits.

You look around and think to yourself for a moment. You see Nagito, his back facing you, applying sun lotion on his legs rather sloppily..

"Hey Nagito.. you know where the towels are..? You were here before me, right?" You ask awkwardly, playing with your damp hair.

After a few seconds of silence just watching his stange behavior, he turns a little bit in your direction, and see he had a small grinnon his face on his side profile.

"H-hey.. um.. is that a yes?" You ask "Y-you were here before me right?" You ask again, feeling way more uncomfortable than when you first arrived.

"Of course I was in here before you girls, y/n! I don't knew where the towels are but it would be a shame if there was however! It's a beach.. you're supposed to get wet right? It's no biggie.. it's an island!"

He says casually as he closes his bottle of sun lotion. His words scare you a bit. Almost as if he read your mind the moment you opened the door. "Right.. well I want to keep m-"

"Oh of course! I think there's a small hand towel in the bathroom you can use.. hopefully that'll be enough!" He says happily. Shivers crawl down your spine. Has he been listening to your guys' conversation?

By this point you were getting creeped out so you walk in to the bathroom after thanking him. Not to mention the guy had a very noticeable tent under his swim trunks. Which was probably why he was turned away from you.

As soon as you walk in you notice it was oddly darker than usual. The only hint of light being from the small window at the upper top of the room. Naturally, you try to look for a light switch. You opened the door more, letting the natural light from the main bath house in so you could look for the switch.

Once you get the light open Nagito suddenly appears, looking at you with an innocent smile. "Do you need help y/n?" He asks, "I can help you with your hair!" Nagito declares.

"Oh um.. sure.." you say, too scared to object. He snatches the small hand towel and begins to dry your hair roughly with it. "Don't go.. um too hard.." you say feeling a bit uncomfortable. He nods and rubs the towel a bit gently.

After a while it actually starts to feel nice, but you were still uncomfortable by the entire thing overall. He was being a little forceful admittedly. When you were lost in thought, you felt a hand touch your exposed right side slowly. He rubbed your side, as if you were a pet. You start to feel worse and tried to shift to the left but he grabs your waist tightly, restricted your movement. You can feel his breathe, heavy and steamy. He moves his hand down to your lower stomach. His fingers start to tease right at your bikini line. His fingers swiping up and down at the area.

You felt like such a mess. You got yourself into this. You thought you could trust nagito. Of course not. If only you weren't stubborn to just let your damn hair not get wet. You tried to move again when you feel him get close to your crotch. He drops the hand towel and uses his left hand to grab your shoulder tightly. You nearly jumped out your skin when you feel someone wet and smiley on your tongue. He started to kitten lick it and then started nibbling at it.

That's when you felt it.

His sharp teeth on your neck. You could feel everything. His heavy breath, his tongue, everything. Both his hands grab at your hips, keeping you still and lowering your posture. He begins to dry hump you.

"Ahh~... ahhh.. y-y/n... ahhh.. you feel so fresh~.. so nice~.." Nagito moans in your ear.

You tried to make one more attempt to leave when you felt the repeating motion on your backside. You make a run forward to the door. Nagito growls in anger and he runs over and pushes you down to the floor. You catch yourself on your heads and land on your knees painfully. He gets on top of you, doggy style and dry jumps you repeatedly while holding onto your hips tightly.

"D-dont fucking try to leave.. you'll only make things.. ahh.. w-worse for yourself y/n~.." he whimpers as he humps you at a faster pace, "it makes you all the more desirable.."

You feel his heavy and strong body on you. You were almost surprised by his strength despite his skinny figure. You gave up all your attempts to escape because you didn't want this to escalate any further.

"O-Oh my god! You're so soft! You're so fu-fucking soft~!" He humps you faster and faster like an animal in heat. He was going insane and you couldn't do a thing about it.

"Nagito! Please stop! Please! I've had enough!" You beg, not knowing what to do at this point. You knew your begging wouldn't do anything. You were in denial about it all. But it wasn't like you could leave.

"Yes! Y-yes~! Please beg! Please!" Nagito moans in his sick, raspy voice, "More! You sound so desperate~!"

After a few more grueling minutes of this unwanted treatment, he stops for a minute, staying still, and then twitch his whole body. He pushes your body down flat onto the ground. Your face hits the cold hard floor and feel Nagito's weight on top of you, his body going limp on yours.. He pants in your ear excessively. He was holding onto your waist with the little strength he had left.

"y-y/n.. you were so g-good~"

You feel tears stream your cheeks. You bite your lip harshly until you could've sworn it'd bleed. All you could think of was why? Why you? Why did he have to stalk all of you? Was he planning this? Was he going to do this with any other girl?

As you were lost in thought again, he hear him start to snore softly. His sweaty hair all over the side of your face. You were too afraid to move and just lie down there with him. You were scared he'd try to do something even if he were asleep. You're eyes close slowly as you try to imagine what you could've been doing right now if it weren't for Nagito.

.

.

.

(Hopefully you guys liked it. I'm trying to work on my writing skills and I accept all constructive criticism! :))

[distant--shadow]

Author’s notes - the witch and the widow chapter 5

Ayo, here’s another round of these caus I’ve gotta indulge myself.

Same as last time there’s some way juicier things this chapter I’d ideally by noting on, but I’ll leave them til they’re made a bit more explicit.

So to start off we got something sentimental and fun:

In amongst all of the metal is a porcelain black bird, back straight and beak open to the sky.

‘You can’t take that, that’s one of the Lady’s favourites. Do you know what it is for?’

‘For looking pretty?’

‘It does more than look pretty; if you give it back to me I can show you, we can make something lovely together.’

This guy is one of these guys, from the search engine it seems a lot of these say made in england but IDK how further afield they got. Surprise surprise this is some mother complex thing I guess, she has a couple of these and I have a lot of memories of her putting them in her various pies she baked when I was growing up. I really like my nik-naks and goobies and just general bric-a-brac and I’ve always thought these little guys are so cool, and bonus points caus the Eurasian blackbird is one of my favourite birds. In the fic I made it so that this guy not only lets off steam, but acts as a whistle of sorts and imitates bird song as the pie is cooking.

I think the contraption itself is in reference to an old nursery rhyme, which my mum would also sing when she’d be dishing out the pies.

Sing a song of sixpence, A pocket full of rye, Four and twenty blackbirds Baked in a pie.

When the pie was opened The birds began to sing— Wasn't that a dainty dish To set before the king?

The king was in the counting-house Counting out his money, The queen was in the parlour Eating bread and honey,

The maid was in the garden Hanging out the clothes. Along came a blackbird And snipped off her nose.

This little youtube video has some interesting theories on the possible origins of the rhyme

“…saying to put someone's nose out of joint conveys the idea of offending or upsetting someone; often by acquiring something they desired for themselves. this idiom was first documented back in 1581 (…)”

All just fits pretty well, dunnit? Is the Lady jealous of the made? Either way, I think Laudna would be a fan of ceramic pie blackbirds.

“Indeed, those are dahlias, I grow them myself.”

Imogen likes how the new word sits on the Lady’s tongue, so close to darling but transmuted into name, like the numerals she planted as flowers around the sundial statue. If Imogen had not carried a briared rose in the same manner of magix maybe she would believe it was the bedside flower that gave her such power. 

“They’re really pretty.”

They are, how their dense arrangement of petals are so flawless they look as though constructed by formula, a stone carved garden stair ornament balustrading a descent onto grand grounds, chiselled according to chalk-stringed-marking and papered calculation, an armoury of plate metal pierced into a crimson-pollened baron-

She remembers the silk touch of the delicate petal under the skin of her bare thumb.

More visual notes here on the variety of dahlia I was thinking of, and its colour, and also here are some ornamental outdoor steps that I was inspired by in terms of imagining architectural details that could have in turn been inspired by a similar flower.

Whilst we’re there, here’s a pomander:

“A pomander, from French pomme d'ambre, i.e., apple of amber, is a ball made for perfumes, such as ambergris (hence the name), musk, or civet. The pomander was worn or carried in a case as a protection against infection in times of pestilence or merely as a useful article to modify bad smells.”

and that orange speared with cloves from chapter 4 (we used to get handed these at church during Christmas, and do a similar thing but with an onion when making bread sauce) i think the tops of cloves make for nic little pommel details of heads of maces and blades various that are sunken in:

“One modern style of pomander is made by studding an orange or other fruit with whole dried cloves and letting it cure dry, after which it may last many, many years. This modern pomander serves the functions of perfuming and freshening the air and also of keeping drawers of clothing and linens fresh, pleasant-smelling, and moth-free.”

Shout outs to both of these being from the same wiki page, I actually didn’t know those oranges were called pomanders too, and I’d learnt the French perfume one from a Picture’s fic (read it):

“Imogen licks her teeth, reveals a violet petal plastered over incisor that she shortly removes with a blade-of-dry-grass toothpick, re-places the petal on the flat of her tongue, rolling it around her mouth and swallowing it.

Laudna stares.

"You like the flowers?" she finds herself leaning towards Imogen. Wants to tell her that for years this one was her perfume - pomanders adorned and concealed in tattered layers.

“They’re purple, ‘course I do.” she giggles, resting sat cross-legged with her weight behind her on her palms. Her head rolls towards Laudna, leaves their foreheads almost resting against one another, Laudna able to count each individual eyelash.

Purple, like the deep undertones of her hair. That much Laudna was very aware of.

“I should have guessed that that would be what caught your attention.” She brings her hand up and wraps her bony index finger in a ringlet of Imogen's curls.

“More like your magic, I was thinkin’…” She drawls, tenor lowered and breathy.

“And the taste?”

Imogen visibly swallows, cheeks flushing a further tint than what the sun has already given - it makes Laudna feel overly aware of the networking of her own heart and veins.”

(sorry im a fanboy idk how 2 not get carried away)

Here’s one for the lols. A genuine old phrase for going down on someone with a clit:

“So now you know at least two things-” the Lady meticulously arranges her skirt’s pleats, perched on the edge of the lip of stone pedestalling the statue, unable to sit fully thanks to her outfitting, also unable to sit on her hands, and Imogen really notices now how much she talks with them. “-add to that a wealth on horses so that makes at least three, and you must know yourself, somewhat-”

“Often that’s what I feel like I know the least about.”

“Well, we know you’re partial to diving for pearls…”

We love a witty Laudna. I did have a source for this at some point but you can just search engine it if youre that much of a nerd.

The statue Imogen and Laudna sit under (and Angharad and Imogen fucked against lol) is this one here:

It’s at one of my very favourite places (and in a serendipitous way has followed me), and also its sculptor was around 1790-1866 so it lines up story timing wise, just maybe let’s say this one statue is less aged than the others idk lol seeing as the estate and all of that is definitely not a new build. Also picturing it being marble instead of bronze, and of course on a hip-ish level plynth near the wall.

This causes Imogen to throw her head back with a laugh, bumping it on the elbow of the statue behind them. She attempts to play it off as she stands, rubbing her skull as her other hand falls to her hip as she stands opposite the Lady, slightly taller than her as she sits.

“I think ya might be havin’ trouble tellin’ me apart from the horses, I don’t share their paddocks like that.”

“Only their porridge. How was your trip to Fairfield?”

She acknowledges Imogen massaging her head, settling her chin on her closed fist with a smirk.

“If it pains you so much to recall you do not have to, I shall make note to send someone else in the future-”

“That won’t be necessary, m’lady-”

“You can call me Laudna.”

“Ms. Laudna-”

The Lady - sorry, Ms Laudna, lowers her hand so it can speak again, shakes her head with a smile.

A little note here is that in the first 2 chapters Imogen was referring to the Lady as The Lady Bradbury fairly often, and after that she has taken to just calling her the Lady, whether that’s formalities or Imogen separating Laudna from the family she married into you decide lol, and I am just taken by the idea of bein’ a good polite country girl and still ma’am'ing and Ms’ing Laudna for a while even when Laudna's asking for her to drop the formalities (hm maybe forgetting class aint that simple, or maybe she respects and fears her too).

some pretty surface level notes for now, im gonna be so wanky in these posts when we're further in (sorry not sorry) enjoy xoxo

[mountttmase]

The Do-Over - Part Three

Note - another request for part three, a little spicy as promised 😏 also definitely didn’t base the gift part on my boyfriends Christmas present to me this year 😉🥹 feedback is always appreciated and I hope you enjoy. Part one & Part two are linked.

Pairing - Mason Mount x Reader

Word count - 6.3k

Warnings - fluff and smut

Low-key was not a word in Masons vocabulary.

You had both decided to keep things under wraps for now until you were both settled, giving you a chance to get yourself into a good routine with each other. The only other person who knew you were seeing each other again was Woody as he seemed to be attached to Masons hip more than you were.

Ava would hound you everyday at work, asking how your first date with him went and was furious at you for being so tight lipped. You’d even had a few texts from Dec wanting the down low as he wasn’t getting anything out of Mason but you both held it all in.

You could trust him to be secretive when it came to others asking questions, it was when you were in public that seemed to be hardest for him. You’d been on a few other dates, more dinners and a few crazy golf or bowling nights and as much as you tried to remain inconspicuous, he couldn’t help but have his hands on you at all times. His lips constantly kissing any part of skin he could access and always whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

‘It’s nearly the weekend. Got any plans with money Mase?’ Ava winked at you from across your desk and you laughed loudly at her words. ‘What? I know he’s not got a game for a few days so he’s got the evening free tomorrow. The both of you think you’re so clever but I know somethings going on’ she pouted and you rolled your eyes playfully.

‘Who says I’ve got plans with anyone tomorrow?’

‘So you can keep me company then?’ She asked and your face faltered for a second. ‘I knew it, I’m your best friend, why can’t you just admit it?’

You did feel bad, she had been rooting for you and Mason more than anyone and you would of loved to have a girl to chat about him with, so you gave into her pouty face and came clear.

‘Fine’ you huffed, and she clapped her hands together like an excited seal. ‘We’ve been seeing each other since a little after new years. We just thought it would be best to keep it low key and not put so much pressure on it, you know? Figure things out for ourselves before everyone finds out’

‘I get that’ she smiled at you sympathetically but you could tell she was over the moon for you. ‘How’s it going?’

‘Really good’ you smiled and she mirrored your smile with her own. ‘He’s grown up a lot, tells me a lot more, like when somethings on his mind he doesn’t shut off and he wants to work through it with me which is really nice’

‘What about the sex? You shagged him yet?’

‘Bloody hell Ava’ you choked, as you both got sent into a fit of giggles.

‘What I’m curious?’ She laughed whilst shrugging her shoulders. ‘You never told me what he was like when you two were together. I’ve known him for a long time and I wanna know if his bedroom abilities are up to scratch’

‘Well from what I remember I definitely had no complaints, but we haven’t gone there yet this time’ you told her. ‘We wanna focus on us as people before we rip each other clothes off’ you laughed and she gave you a knowing smile. ‘I have a question though. Why did you and Mason never get together?’

‘Dec’s a very over protective cousin’ she admitted whilst rolling her eyes ‘told Mason he’d never walk again if he ever touched me. Plus as cute as Mason is, he’s not my type’ Ava was a bit mysterious when it came to boys, never openly admitting who she liked and even though you’d seen her with guys on nights out, you’d never known her be in a proper relationship.

‘What’s your type then?’ You asked her and she rested her head on her hand whilst giving you a far away stare.

‘Ruben Loftus-Cheek’ she breathed and you both erupted into giggles before getting the death stare from a few of your colleagues. She stuck her tongue out at you playfully before carrying on with her work just as you heard your phone ping besides you. Masons name popping up on the screen.

Hello beautiful, I was having a think about to tomorrow and I’ve had an idea. Give me a call when you’re done with work xxx

You text him back, letting him know you would but you were curious about his plans. You had both decided to celebrate Masons birthday towards the end of the month as he had such a packed schedule and it was proving difficult to find a day you could both agree on however thanks to a Sunday game, Mason now had a Friday night free. Once you were on your train home, you pressed Masons number to give him call and he picked up on the third ring.

‘Hello trouble’ he answered, a slight teasing note in his tone but it made you smile.

‘Hello, Mason’

‘How was your day?’

‘Long, but not too bad. How about you?’

‘I won a shootout against Kai today, so I’d say pretty good’ he boasted and you could hear the smile in his words. ‘But I didn’t want you to call me so I could tell you how great I am. I want to speak to you about tomorrow’

‘I’m all ears’ you told him and you heard him get comfortable before starting.

‘Well Woody has managed to trick some poor girl into going out with him so my house is free and we won’t be disturbed. I thought you could come over and I can make you your favourite just like I used to’ he insisted, and you were excited by his words. ‘Just thought it might be nicer than some over priced restaurant under the prying eyes of the public like normal. I want it to be special. So what do you think?’

‘Sounds perfect’ you breathed and you heard him let out a relived sigh on the other end. ‘But it’s supposed to be your birthday Mase, not about me.’

‘How about we think of it like a joint birthday slash one month anniversary’ he laughed and you rolled your eyes playfully. Of course he was trying to make this about you. You carried on chatting until you made it home and he told you he had to go so he could sort some things out but he’d text you later like normal.

The next day was Friday, and you and Ava sat sharing a box of chocolates she had left over from Christmas whilst gossiping about Mason some more. She promised she’d not tell a soul and it felt good to have someone to talk to about him with again. As soon as the clock struck five, you were out the door and ready to race for an earlier train, but the sight outside your office made you stop in your tracks.

Masons car was parked over the road, and you could see him sat looking out. He waved as soon as he saw you and you run across the street to jump into the passenger side door what he’d opened.

‘Firstly, it’s dark out Mason. You don’t need to be wearing sunglasses, you look like a right melon’

‘Excuse me’ he scoffed, sliding them up his nose so they rested on his head. ‘I’m trying to be inconspicuous’

‘Well you make yourself stand out even more’ you laughed as you took them from his head and placed them over your eyes. ‘And secondly, what are you doing here?’

‘Well firstly’ he mocked, reaching behind your seat to produce a bunch of red roses and your heart began to race as the gesture. ‘Happy Friday, beautiful’ he smiled as he sat them in your lap. You lent over your seat and met him in the middle so you could kiss him, holding him by the jaw and stroking his cheek as you hummed into the kiss.

‘Happy Friday, Mase. Thank you, you shouldn’t have’ you told him shyly, feeling your cheeks heat up as he looked at you adoringly.

‘Thought I’d hold off sending them to your office this time, I know how embarrassed you get’ he teased but you laughed along with him as he gave you one final kiss. ‘And secondly, can a man not pick his girl up from work?’ He teased, turning in his seat and starting the ignition. ‘Thought I’d save you from public transport and take you straight to mine’

‘Thank you, Mase. I appreciate it I really do but I wanted to nip home first so I could sort myself out’

‘I can take you home first’ he smiled ‘I’ll just wait in the car and then we can go to mine’ he told you before driving off. Once at yours you quickly changed into a cute strappy black dress that was still comfortable enough for you to sit around in and touched up some of your makeup before grabbing the gift you’d got him and running back down to the car.

Once at his he made you wait by the door, claiming he wanted to check something before racing back to you, an excited smile playing on his face and he grabbed you by the waist.

‘You look gorgeous by the way’ he told you, kissing you softly as he slowly turned to stand behind you, his hands covering your eyes as he gently encouraged you to walk forwards. ‘Just trust me, yeah?’ He laughed as you yelped, grabbing onto his arms as he guided you through his house until you reached where you knew his dining room table was. He softly counted to three before removing his hands and once your eyes had adjusted you let out a soft gasp at the scene in front of you.

The table was set perfectly, candles lit in the middle of the table, silver and blue balloons grazing the ceiling with tea lights scattered about to create a more cozy atmosphere. You’d never seen anything more romantic and you felt you eyes sting as you took in the scene in-front of you.

‘Is it okay?’ He asked, almost timidly, and you pulled back you crash your lips into his. When you eventually pulled away, you both stood their smiling at each other out of breath. ‘I’ll take that as a yes’

‘It’s beautiful, Mason. Thank you I love it. But we’re supposed to be celebrating you and I feel like you’ve done all the hard work.’

‘Well, like I said, it’s a joint celebration’ he winked before leaning down to kiss you again. ‘Foods almost done so why don’t you take a seat and I’ll sort everything out’ he told you whilst pulling out your chair so you could sit.

He returned from the kitchen to top up your glass before bringing in your food in. Your hand sat in his throughout as you chatted over dinner and you sat there feeling like you were in a fairytale, thanking whatever god would listen for bringing Mason back into your life.

After dessert he shooed you off to the sofa whilst he cleared the plates away. You took this time to grab his gift and as he came over to join you, you passed it over to him with a smile.

‘What’s this’ he smiled, taking the wrapped box from your hands and setting it on his lap.

‘Just a little something’ you breathed, before placing your hand over his as he went to unwrap it, halting his movements. ‘Before you look, you’re really hard to buy for’ you told him and you both let out a little laugh. ‘I mean what do you buy the man who has everything? So it’s just a few little silly things and-‘

He cut you off with a kiss and you could feel his smile on your lips before he pulled away. ‘Whatever it is, I’ll love it cause it’s from you’ he told you before you removed your hand so he could tear the paper off.

Inside were all of Masons favourite sweets with cute little handwritten notes you attached with a pin about each one. You’re as cute as a button pinned to a bag of chocolate buttons, I chews you on a packet of chewits and life without you was unBEARable attached to a huge bag of gummy bears among some other random bits and bobs. He laughed as he read through all of them before his eyes met yours and the look he was giving you made you blush.

‘I know it’s silly, but I remember you used to like to sneak snacks in your bag for away games so I thought I’d help you stock up’ you laughed and he lent over to kiss your forehead.

‘These are coming with me tomorrow’ he winked before pulling you into his lap. ‘Thank you baby’ he whispered against you lips before kissing you deeply, running his hands over your thighs as you clung to his shoulders. He pulled away and you both sat there with flushed cheeks whilst smiling before he gently moved you off him to grab a small box off the coffee table that you hadn’t seen. ‘Now it’s your turn’

‘My turn? What you on about? What’s this?’ You asked as he passed the the small box.

‘I told you, one month anniversary’ he winked and you shook your head whilst trying to give the gift back to him.

‘No Mason, I can’t accept this’

‘Please baby’ he pouted, pushing it back ‘I picked it out myself and I want you to have it’ he insisted and after a silent stare off for a few moments, you undid the wrapping. As soon as you noticed the shade of blue from the gift box, you dropped it into your lap and covered your face. ‘Hey, what’s wrong?’ He laughed but you couldn’t look at him as you responded.

‘I can’t Mase, it’s too much’

‘You haven’t even opened it yet’

‘But I can tell where it’s from’ you countered before looking up into his hopeful face. ‘Really, Mase? Tiffany’s? I don’t feel like I deserve it’ you laughed, so he grabbed your hand with a sympathetic smile.

‘You deserve this and so much more’ he whispered, kissing you pout gently. ‘Just let me give you this, please’ he begged, and you cook one final breath before opening up the box to revel a small arrow pendent necklace. Not one for flashy jewellery, you fell in love with it instantly, a small gasp came flying from your lips as you inspected it. ‘Do you like it?’ Mason whispered, snapping you out of your trance so you could look at him.

‘I really do, could you put it on me?’ You asked and he smiled whilst taking the box from your hand removing it whilst you turned away from him so he could fix it around your neck.

‘There’s a reason why I chose this one. It’s not just random’ he told you, his lips by your ear as you felt him fiddle with the clasp.

‘What’s the reason?’

‘Well, there’s two reasons actually. The first one was to tie into my cherub tattoo’ he told you, leaning you back so you were pressed against his chest, looking up at him as you were hanging on his every word. ‘Being struck by Cupid’s arrow means you fallen in love. Just like us’ he winked and you chuckled as he held you a little bit tighter. ‘They also apparently symbolise overcoming set backs and moving forward. Like you have to pull an arrow back, and the further you do, the more it travels forward. I like to think that describes us a bit? Like we’ve had to go through a bit of a shit time, but now we get to move forward together and I’m so excited about what the future holds for us’

‘Fuck’ you whispered and he laughed lightly at you whilst furrowing his eyebrows. ‘I think I’ve just fallen in love with you all over again’ you told him and he bent down to kiss you gently. ‘No seriously. That was sexy as hell’ you laughed and you felt his chest rumble as he laughed behind you.

‘Oh yeah?’ He teased, ticking your sides until you turned in his grasp, your eyes flicking over the flushed face of the boy you loved more than anything. You felt your face drop as you thought about leaving soon, not wanting to be away from him tonight, and he picked up on your soured face instantly. ‘What’s the frown about, pretty girl?’ he asked, cupping your cheek so you’d look at him.

‘I know we’ve still got a few hours, but I don’t wanna go’ you pouted. Curling your arms around his shoulders and hiding your face in his neck. He hugged you back tightly, slightly swaying you as you felt him laugh under his breath.

‘So don’t go’ he reasoned and you pulled back to look at him. ‘I don’t want you to go. I never do. Ive got stuff here for you, you can sleep in my shirt like you used to and I’ll drop you home on the way to Chels tomorrow’ he shrugged, like he had it all planned already.

‘You sure’ you whispered and he pulled you in for a long heavy kiss that told you all you needed to know.

‘Come on, why don’t we get sorted for bed and watch tv or something. I know you’re dying to get out of this dress’ he teased, pulling you up and walking you towards the stairs. After a quick shower, you met Mason in his room wrapped in a towel where he handed you a fresh T-shirt from his drawer. ‘I’ve actually got some of your stuff in there I think’ he told you, pointing to the drawer where you used to keep a few of your things. You had a peek inside to find some clean underwear and socks as well as a few pairs of leggings and you smiled that he’d kept them in there for so long. ‘I won’t be long’ he smiled before disappearing into his en-suite.

You quickly changed into his shirt before looking through the underwear in his drawer to find a nice pair, settling on a meshy black pair that you thought you’d lost. You weren’t sure if anything was about to happen with him but you wanted to look good just in case it did. You were just packing back the last few things when you heard his door open, turning round to find him stood in just his boxers and you bit your lip at the sight. He quickly dimmed the lights before pulling you into bed, helping you to sit on his lap and straddle his thighs.

His hands were stroking up and down your legs as his dark eyes flickered over every inch of you. You felt hot under his stare, and when he lent forward to press his lips to yours, you couldn’t help but hum into his mouth.

‘What happened to watching tv, Mase?’ You laughed as you pulled away and he squeezed your waist gently.

‘You expect me to focus on some boring show when I’ve got you in my bed with my shirt on? Nuh uh, I can think of other things I’d rather be doing’

‘Oh yeah? Like what?’

‘You’ he whispered in your ear, and you shivered at the thought. It had been so long since he’d touched you, since anyone had touched you in fact and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous. Your thoughts turned to the last time Mason had been touched, wondering if he’d slept with anyone in your time apart and the thought made you feel sick. He was always being linked to girls and you tried to take as little notice as you could but now you felt like you couldn’t let this carry on unless you knew what happened. You realised you had no right to be upset, he was single and you figured there was no way he could of gone a whole year without seeing anyone, but you still felt that sinking feeling in your tummy.

He felt you stiffen up, turning your chin so you’d look him in the eye, and the look of panic and sadness confused him. ‘Hey’ he whispered softly, stroking your cheek gently to try and calm you. ‘If you don’t wanna do anything it’s fine, like if it’s too soon I get it’ he reassured you, but you shook your head, knowing that wasn’t the issue.

‘It’s not that’ you whispered and he pulled you even closer to him.

‘What is it then, baby? Talk to me’ he asked, and his tone melted your insides.

‘I’m gonna sound so stupid, but I was just thinking and I wondered if… like the year we were apart? Did you um- did you…’

‘Did I sleep with anyone?’ He asked, finishing your sentence for you. You were too frazzled to say anything so you just nodded, looking at him with wide eyes as you waited for his answer. He gave you a small embarrassed smile and you were ready for him to tell you you had when he shook his head to say no.

‘What?’ You questioned, furrowing your brows as you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. ‘You’re telling me you haven’t had sex since the last time we did?’

‘I’m not gonna sit here and tell you I didn’t have the chance to, I’ve been on a few dates here and there and yeah I kissed a few of them but it never went any further than that’ he told you and you appreciated his honesty. ‘Truth is I knew it wouldn’t be the same, and I lost interest’ he shrugged and you let you a breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding. ‘Don’t worry, before you I wasn’t exactly reeling them in. I know how to get by’ he winked, waving his hands at his sides to let you know he knew how to look after himself. You laughed, blushing as you covered your face and fell into his chest. His arms came around you, holding you to him as he kissed your head, relief flooding your veins at his admission. ‘What about you huh? Got anything you need to tell me?’

‘I went on one date’ you admitted, turning your face so was free from his neck and you could talk as he rested his cheek on the top of your head. ‘It was an absolute disaster and I had to get Ava to call me and pretend to of fallen down the stairs so I could leave’ you told him and you felt his chest shake underneath you as he laughed.

‘So that’s it?’

‘That was it’ you affirmed and he looked at you confused. ‘Don’t worry, I know how to get by too’ you winked as you sat up to look at him and his face was a picture as if he couldn’t believe what you’d just said, but when he bit his lip, you knew what mood he was in.

‘Is that so’ he murmured, flipping you over so you were now on your back and he was leaning over you. ‘Why don’t you show me’

‘What?’ You blushed, wondering if he was actually asking you what you thought he was.

‘I want you to show me, what you did to yourself when I wasn’t around’ he whispered, rising to his knees so he could get a better look at you. Palming over his boxers and you could see he was getting hard at the thought of you touching yourself. ‘Go on baby, put on a show for me. Don’t worry, I’ll show you too’

You were frozen in place, this not being something the two of you had ever done before, in fact something you’d never done with anyone so you were unsure how to proceed, but the lust in his eyes made your tummy erupt with butterflies, so you slowly ran your hands down you body as he got comfortable in between your legs. Lying on his stomach with his head by your knees so he had a good view of you.

You quickly sat up to discard the T-shirt and laid back down, hearing him growl lowly at the brief sight of your chest. You could feel him pressing sporadic kisses on the inside of your leg, and before you could talk yourself out of it, your hands were gliding back down and dipping into your underwear.

You were already wet from his stare and soon enough you felt his hands hook your underwear down your legs and pull them off, now giving him a full view of what you were doing to yourself. You could feel your face flushing at the intimacy of it all, and you knew your hands were shaking but you pushed through, at first pretending he want even there and running your fingertips all over your body again until you were covered in goosebumps and you could feel your nipples harden.

You slowly ran your fingers through your folds, coating them before you circled over your clit. You could hear Mason take in a breath before kissing your legs again, slowly getting higher as you pleasured yourself in front of him.

‘Mason’ you breathed as the pleasure intensified and you felt him shuffle up your body a bit more until hips lips were on your waist.

‘That’s it, that’s my girl’ he mumbled into your skin and you let out a whimper as his lips attached to you nipple, sucking gently before teasing off with his teeth, sending a shiver down you spine. He sat up on his knees in between your legs before he pushed his boxers down, letting himself spring free and your mouth watered at the sight of him.

He took himself into his hand, slowly pumping himself up and down whilst his gaze fluttered all over you as if he didn’t know where to look. Soon after, he grabbed your wrist, and bought your fingers to his mouth, sucking your wetness from you as his eyes rolled back at the taste.

‘Fuck, just as good as I remember’ he breathed, getting his face settled between your thighs again as he looked up at you. ‘I’m a little out of practice but I need to taste you’ he told you, placing your hand in his hair before diving into you tongue first.

You gasped at the contact, finally feeling his mouth on you again after so long. He told you he was out of practice but he was always good with his tongue and you were pleasantly surprised to find that was still the case. You tugged his hair slightly in a way he used to love and he moaned into you.

You had gotten yourself most of the way there already, so when slipped his fingers inside you, it didn’t take long for you cum around them. Once he knew you were through it, he went back to kissing all over your thighs, traveling up your body to kiss your chest and the feel of his lips still all over you sent your head into a spin, only the the thought of him pounding into you on your mind, but he seemed far too interested in kissing every inch of your skin that he’d missed.

‘Mase, please fuck me’ you whimpered and you heard him whine into your neck at your words, lifting his head with a mischievous smile so he could bump his nose with yours. You could feel him hard against your leg so you knew he was ready and waiting for you but you also knew he liked to drag out your pleasure.

‘Say that again for me baby’ he uttered, kissing your cheeks as you bucked up into him.

‘Fuck me Mase, please. I need to feel you’ you pleaded, ruining your hands down his body until you were met with his length. You took him in your hand, pumping him a few times and enjoying the way his face changed at the feeling. His eyes closing and his lips parting ever so slightly so he could let out a shaky breath. You managed to line him up with your entrance, but he needed no extra help from there. Slamming into you until you arched your back, moaning directly into his ear as he thrusted into you with all he had.

‘So needy for me’ he teased, his lips lost in your neck before he brought his head up to look at you again. Both breathing into each others mouths as he gave you all he could. He was close already and you could tell, but you knew he wasn’t ready to cum yet so he sat up before spitting down onto you and circling your clit whilst he was still buried inside you. ‘That good’ he questioned, noticing how your eyes were rolling to the back of your head with each brush of his fingers.

‘You have no idea’ you managed to croak out, the feeling becoming overwhelming and you were certain you’d never felt this good. He saw how close you were, now knowing it was safe for him to get back into it so he started moving his hips again whilst still keeping his fingers working. His other hand traveled up to your throat, squeezing gently as he remembered you used to love it and clearly still did from the way you tightened around him even more.

You were trying to keep your moans at bay, not wanting to sound too desperate, but the harder he went, the harder it became for you to keep a lid on things.

‘I know for a fact you can be louder than that, come on baby, let me hear you. Let me hear how good I’m making you feel’ he pleaded, his low raspy voice turning you on even more causing you to cry out in pleasure. He bit his lip at the sound before attaching his lips to yours, pushing you both over the finish line and you clung to his neck as you both attempted to get your breathing back on track.

He slumped to the side of you, not wanting to crush you but too tired to move anywhere further. You ran your fingers through his hair and felt his body melting into yours which caused you to chuckle beneath him.

‘Don’t laugh at me’ he scolded you gently before lifting off you slightly so he could look at you. The bridge of his nose was flushed and his hair was a mess but he was radiating happiness and you couldn’t help but smile at him. ‘You okay?’ He whispered and you nodded whilst kissing his forehead.

‘Never better’ you breathed and he nestled back into your neck.

‘Well rest up, I’m gonna need a round two soon’ he told you, standing up and helping you you to sit so you could go to the bathroom. You let out a little laugh and his eyes snapped to yours, a cheeky smile on his face as he winked. ‘You think I’m joking, we’ve got a lot of catching up to do’ he teased, slapping your bum playfully as he followed you into the bathroom to join you in the shower.

——————————

You’d barely slept, both your hands on each other all the time and the simplest of contact led to a quick fumble between the sheets. You were exhausted and had no idea how Mason was going to manage to get through the day. At least he would have a night away from you tonight to catch up on sleep before his game tomorrow.

You we’re currently in the kitchen, dressed only in your underwear and Masons shirt whilst you made the pair of you a coffee. He was currently behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist as he kissed your neck gently and you lent into his chest to update him on some office gossip you hadn’t got round to telling him yesterday. You both heard the front door open, freezing as you were unsure as to who it could be, but the sound of Masons dad shouting his name made you relax before panicking again.

‘Shit, I forgot they were all coming today’ he groaned and you were filled with anxiety as you took the pair of you in, him in just his boxers and you not leaving much to the imagination. ‘Fuck fuck fuck’ he muttered before darting from the room to greet them, leaving you stood in the kitchen, frozen in fear.

‘Ah there he is. Nice to see you got dressed this morning’ you heard his mother tease, their voices getting closer and the entered the living room. ‘What the hell is going on in here’ she laughed and you realised the table was still set from last night as half burnt candles littered the floor and balloons were floating around everywhere. ‘You know what, I don’t wanna know. I just need to put this in your fridge’

‘I can do that’ you heard him offer, a tinge of desperation in his voice, but it was no use. Before you knew it, she was in the kitchen, your eyes meeting and you’d never seen her look so shocked. She visibly jumped before she realised it was you, a massive smile breaking out on her face before she dashed to your side, bringing you in to a bone crushing hug.

‘I knew it’ she shouted spinning you both in a circle and she laughed. ‘They all thought I was mad but I was right’ she howled, as Mason stood laughing with his hands on his hips in the doorway. Debbie pulled back, holding you in front of by your arms as her eyes filled with tears. Your eyes glazed over too at the sight of her, you knew how close Mason was with his family and they had welcomed you with open arms when you first got together. To see her so happy at the sight of you warmed your insides.

‘What do you mean you were right?’ Jaz questioned as she followed in behind, but as soon as she saw you she was running over to join the hug. ‘Oh it’s so good to see you, but I owe mum a tenner now so it’s kind of not’ she laughed as Mason entered the room, holding summer on his hip, his dad, brother and Sam flooding in behind with shocked faces.

‘Why do you owe mum a tenner?’ He questioned as you watched the little girl wriggle around in his arms as if she was fighting him off to get to you.

‘Call it mother’s intuition’ she laughed and Mason rolled his eyes and he popped Summer on the floor so she could run over to you ‘let’s face it Mason, you haven’t exactly been a ray of sunshine this last year. But these last few weeks you were back to being my Mase again’ she explained as you lifted Summer up onto your hip. ‘I knew there was something up and I figured it had to be you’ she told you, squeezing you a little tighter. ‘He gets this special look when you’re around’

‘Who is it Summer’ Jaz asked her excitedly as she began threading her tiny fingers in your hair.

‘Auntie y/n’ she clapped and you tickled her sides gently. ‘Trousers gone?’ She questioned and your face flushed as you remembered you were stood there in front of his family in pretty much next to nothing.

‘Uh yeah, I must of lost them’ you laughed and you could see Mason trying to hold in a laugh from across the room.

‘Summer?’ You heard Lewis call as you set her down. ‘Why don’t we go get your stuff out the car while y/n tries to find them. Mason maybe you can help, I have a feeling yours might be lost in the same place’ he teased before grabbing Summers hand and walking her out the room.

Once back up in Mason room, you flopped onto his bed face first and groaned as he stood laughing at you. ‘Don’t Mase, I’m so embarrassed’

‘But look how happy they were to see you’ he laughed as he sat down on the bed next to you, rubbing over your thigh to try and comfort you. ‘Sorry baby, it’s my fault. I was so focused on you being here i forgot I’d made plans with them. They’re gonna stay here tonight and come to my game tomorrow’ he explained and you rolled over to look up at his apologetic face. ‘You do realise my mum will probably invite you to go with them now’

‘I suppose it wouldn’t hurt, I haven’t been to a game in a while’ you told him, sitting up as he kissed your cheek. ‘Can I borrow a shirt?’

He laughed, standing up to grab one of this season’s shirts with his name printed on the back and you smiled as he handed it to you. ‘Call it a late Christmas present’ he winked as he cupped your jaw to kiss you. ‘I guess since now my family know, and you’ll be wearing my shirt at the game, maybe now we can tell some more people? Like be official?’

‘Are you asking me to be your girlfriend again, Mason Mount?’ You teased, your eyebrows raised and your tongue in your cheek as he looked into your eyes lovingly.

‘I’m asking you to be my girlfriend again y/n y/l/n. If you’ll have me that is’

‘I don’t see why not’ you whispered as you kissed him. A year of hurt and upset now behind you as you were officially back with your person.

[swiftllama]

Oct/Nov Compliments ☀️🔍

[Compliments Masterlist]

Hey guys! And we’re back for another two months of compliments! So let’s get into it :-

October 2023

Forbes Article

So to start off the month the boys done an interview with Jon Youshaei for Forbes and also an office tour. It would be later in the month we would get the full 2hr interview, but first we got the article that included excerpts from said interview, including these :-

Anthony being a softie for their friendship as always. Relatable.

This isn’t the first time they’ve mentioned about how the way they work and ‘fit’ together, they’ve never found in anyone else. I covered it in my first Compliments Post, both during Anthony’s interview with Ian and at Vidcon, they’ve each said similar things. And I love how they recognise that, and how truly special their bond is and something that can never be replaced or replicated.

The second quote of Anthony’s - GAWD my heart! I know he didn’t explicitly say it, but that quote basically boils down to ‘we’re two really close friends who love each other.’ 😭❤️

Anthony Reacts To “Where’s Anthony” Jokes

So this video, whilst funny, was pretty sad. I don’t know if it was just me, but I thought Ian seemed particularly quiet during it and like he was just trying to get through the reaction as quick as possible without dwelling on the clips long. I have said before, but I think the reasoning for his quietness may be down to the fact the ‘where’s Anthony?’ jokes held the most emotions for Ian than anyone else. Whilst he did join in on the jokes at times, there was much more behind it than when the others would make the jokes. In the reaction video they do make reference a couple times about how the jokes affected Ian, which I shall go into, some of it ties into being complimentary :-

[watching clip of two boys doing a tiktok trend and make reference to Anthony leaving]

Anthony: “I mean, that was a 10. Those guys- that joke was amazing. And you [Ian] took it like a champ, all things considered.”

Arasha: “Yeah, 10 for you too, Ian.”

I love them acknowledging how the jokes could of affected Ian but he always handled it well, regardless.

-

[watching clip of Shayne answering that Ian and Anthony are the best ship]

Anthony: “We are a good ship. I’ve read the fanfictions.”

Ian: “Oh yeah, the ship’s great. That ship’s sailing. It’s been sailing for a decade.”

Even they acknowledge it 😏😌

-

[watching clip of Ian pretending to be himself from the past talking to his future self and asking “how’s Anthony?”]

Anthony: “That one kind of made me a little sad.”

Ian: “Awww. Yeah.”

Anthony: “Yeah, cause I’m like thinking back to you actually in 2008 being all stoked about me being part of it.”

Ian: “About all our adventures and be like, “How’s Anthony?” and it’s like “awww”.”

Anthony: “Yeah, I give that one a 10. That was commitment.”

I’m fine. This is fine. Not crying at all…..

Anthony being sad imagining young Ian so excited about them working together and how it would hurt him knowing what happened between them 🥺😭

I like that Anthony gave him a 10 and acknowledged his commitment to the bit, just wish it didn’t have it be for something so sad 😩

-

[watching clip of Ian joking that Anthony was coming back and they would be getting rid of everyone at Smosh and Anthony laughs a lot at the clip]

Anthony: “That was good! That was a good one. That definitely caught Courtney and Damien off guard.” [laughs]

Arasha: “I liked it. Just convinced that they don’t have their jobs anymore. That is good.”

Anthony: “That was a good threat. Yeah. Got ‘em.” [highfives for jokingly threatening your employees lol]

-

[watching clip of Ian in a sketch saying “I should’ve left with Anthony.”]

Anthony: [laughs] “That was good! That’s good. That was a 10.”

Courtney: “That was improv.”

Anthony: “That was improvised?!”

Courtney: “It was.”

Ian: “Oh yeah.”

Anthony: [shocked/surprised face] “Really? Damn, no, that was really good.”

-

[watching clip of Shayne wearing an emo-style wig in a video and Ian saying “Woah, it’s like he never left.”]

Anthony: [laughing and banging hand on table] “That was just a 10. I like it because you didn’t even say the name. You just said ‘he’.”

Notice the pattern of Anthony giving Ian 10s 😌

-

[watching clip from Ian’s funeral roast where he tells Courtney after Anthony left she “stepped up and became the new person who shuts down every single idea [he] has”]

Anthony: “Damn, that was good. There was a lot there. I mean, obviously solid 10.”

Arasha: “There was some tension that was let out right then.”

Shayne: “Only excuse we have there is that we were drunk. That was our drunk live.”

Anthony: [to Ian] “Which is kind of funny though because when we’ve talked, you’ve talked about how I amp up your jokes and encourage you.”

Dads are fighting…😳🫢

But aside from the joking bit of tension of that moment I just want to acknowledge what Anthony said, about how he amps up and encourages Ian and that Ian does recognise that.

-

Got a little Ian compliment towards the end of the video too :-

Ian: [patting Anthony’s shoulder] “Anthony, we’re glad you’re here. And we know where you are.”

Anthony: “Awww… Thank you.

-

At the end of the video Shayne says how they’ll never make another ‘Where’s Anthony?’ joke again, and jokingly says unless he gets lost at some point. Anthony agrees, and then just to be a menace, jokes about them saying it again if he “leaves again permanently” 😩🤬

Ian: [acting panicked] “I can’t go through this again.”

There was then this little sweet moment of Anthony comforting Ian by rubbing his back 🥹

(credit to @ianthoni for the gif)

Anthony: “We don’t want to see that sadness under Ian’s eyes again.”

Ian: “No, never.”

Anthony: “Not anymore. We like happy Ian. He’s back.”

Anytime they bring up how happy Ian is now that Anthony’s back it makes me want to cry 🥹

I love you so much Grandpa #2

So Anthony went to Prague to get more tattoos, and what gift did he bring back for Ian? Covid. Anyways, they’d missed the previous members livestream since Anthony was away and so promised an extended one in this tweet :-

It’s more complimentary-by-extension but the little ‘I love you so much’ I feel could be very accurate to how Anthony’s reaction will have been irl of feeling guilty for giving only Ian covid. Especially given the reactions we have seen on video of them acting sus about it all, or Ian half-jokingly acting annoyed and staring at Anthony when it’s brought up and Anthony acting like he doesn’t know how they got it. A few examples :- (x)(x)(x)

Dixon Cider - Flashback w/ Smosh

In this Flashback they had to take a sip of Dixon Cider everytime they done something sexy in the music video.

Anthony: “Wait. Wait. I know I shouldn’t keep pausing, but what are you doing in the background of this shot?”

Ian: “I’m just vibing, dude. I’m just vibing. You know I should take a drink because I look pretty good there.”

Anthony: “You were sexing it up.”

👀 …okay, Anthony…

-

[Reacting to the breakdown part of the song]

Ian: “Sexy. I’m going to-” [takes a sip]

Anthony: “You know I’m gonna take a swig for that too.”

-

[Song lyrics: “I love Dixon Cider and I will ‘til the day that I die.”]

Anthony: “…Let’s do a 10 year check in. Do you still love Dixon Cider to this day? Do you think that you will until the day that you die?”

Ian: [stares at Anthony] “…Yeah.”

Anthony: “I’m gonna take a swig for that. That’s sexy.”

This video just became Anthony calling Ian sexy and I’m not mad about it.

2hr Interview

Finally the interview came 🙌

It covered a lot of the things we already knew. But of course through talking about these things we’re always bound to get compliments and that’s exactly what we got :-

[talking about how many projects they had whilst under Defy and how Anthony puts all his effort and passion into everything, whereas Ian’s focus was more on sketches and the creative side of things]

Ian: “For me, like, there was just certain things that I wasn’t that interested in so I didn’t really pour that much of my time into, but Anthony like doesn’t know how to not put all of his heart into something. So I think that’s what really just spread you thin.”

Anthony: “Yeah. I think it’s a good thing that you kept your energy in one place where it really showed. You having so much of your energy and placing it in the places that were more visible, the YouTube sketches, those videos are some of our most viewed videos on the channel. You know, 30, 40, 50, 60 million views on those videos. While I was putting all of my heart into all these projects that now I’m like ‘Do people even remember that comic book that we made?’ ‘Do people even remember the games that we made?’.”

One thing I really loved about this interview was the back and forth of compliments to one another. Really pointing out how they recognise each other’s strengths in their unique ways. As the quote above stated, Ian recognises how Anthony puts his all into everything and yes maybe it doesn’t always serve himself in the best way, but it shows just how much he cares about every aspect when it comes to Smosh. And that in no way discredits Ian’s care, it actually works so well when paired with Anthony’s dynamic that Ian focuses his efforts more on where he knows his strengths are and that is going to make the most impact. Which again, is one of the many reasons as to why they do mesh so well together.

Speaking of their dynamic, it’s something Anthony later brings up :-

Anthony: “…Something about just our two personalities just click really well and I think every single thing needed to happen exactly the way that it did for it to end up the way that it did, but the friendship specifically it needed to, we needed to completely separate ourselves from each other and almost find each other by what almost feels like by accident.”

Something about that line - “finding each other by accident” makes me all gooey inside 🥹 the fact they had to rediscover each other and have came out the other side with a newfound appreciation and so much love for each other is so heartwarming.

-

Jon: “I feel like you guys are both Pokémon who evolved.”

[I&A discussing who they would be]

Ian: “I guess I’m Charmander, maybe.”

Anthony: “Yeah? You Charizard now?

Ian: “I feel kind of Charizard now. I need to like work on my upper body strength a little bit more.”

Anthony: “But you do bring the fire.”

This was just a fun little one I felt I had the include! Especially with the reference to ‘fire’, which is something a lot of us have talked about in regards to Anthony calling Ian the sun, and also his incorporation of the word in his tattoos.

-

Anthony: [talking about how Ian had invited him to collab with Smosh but he never wanted to whilst they were under Defy and that he didn’t want to come back if he would have just been an employee]

Ian: “I mean at that point like I, especially cause I had reached out and been like ‘hey we should collab’, and Anthony was always very polite…”

Anthony: [laughs]

Ian: “…but would decline. So I think at that point I had totally resigned myself to thinking that like, you know Anthony doesn’t have any interest in being in Smosh again.”

Anthony: “Did you ever take any of that personally?

Ian: “Umm…”

Anthony: “I always tried to word it in a way where you knew it wasn’t about you.”

Ian: “Yeah, no, I don’t think I ever took it personally. I think I was always like frustrated…”

Anthony: [laughs]

Ian: “…because I was like, this is, ‘we could get views man!’. It was always like-“

Anthony: “Yeah, I was almost like I don’t want to give Defy views like, it sucks though that you, obviously Smosh, it was like I didn’t mind necessarily giving the views to Smosh, but like to Defy and it’s just like a shitty situation because you were obviously under the umbrella of Defy. But you know through that whole process, Ian and I connected a little bit, but I was really kind of just observing from the outside and it was wild to witness this, I still harboured a lot of resentment towards Smosh because of all the Defy stuff, and part of me was like ‘dang, this brand that Ian and I built is just totally on its own like- not on its own, but like it’s just doing stuff that I have no, I’m not a part of it at all, it’s just like this amorphous thing that’s just like evolving, but I will say from the outside I was, I was really impressed with how Ian helmed that ship and making sure that- I was really appreciative too, that Smosh didn’t just end up going to some company that just picked it apart and sold all of our assets, sold our logo to be used in some you know way, god knows what, and then you know the content just starts showing up in all these different ways and it’s all chopped up and bastardised.”

Ian: “Like we now get to do the chopping up and bastardisation.”

Anthony: “Yeah, that’s our- that’s my god damn right! Um… but you know also I got to see Ian step up as a leader in many ways and decide on the creative direction and at a certain point I feel like you know because Ian you were so like [shrugs] ‘well you know we’re pretty [mumbles]’, like I don’t know, I think that kind of sums up the way that you kind of uh [laughs] thought about the leadership [shrugs and mumbles again giving an impression of Ian’s nonchalantness towards the leadership role], and I think that was one of the things that silently frustrated me that I never openly spoke about. I was like, ‘I wish you had more of an opinion, more of a drive to creatively, you know to see this go in the direction that you see creatively’, so when I saw from the outside Ian taking this lead and having you know opinions that he put his foot down on and leading this entire cast and elevating everyone for their strengths and also showing up himself as a host, and a leader, and a boss… and a daddy.”

Ah shit, here we go again…

The daddy thing aside, what Anthony said about watching Ian step up into that leadership role from the outside is something he’s spoken about many times and will forever be something I love. Just that recognition of the role Ian had to play for Smosh to be exactly where that is now. I love that it’s something he continually brings up and as stated in the quote above, tells Ian how he appreciates the fact he stayed with Smosh and the hard work he put in so that they could once again own what is rightfully theirs.

Anthony: “…I think that was one thing that really made me interested in the prospect of coming back in and joining forces again. I think there was a while, especially because we didn’t communicate, where I felt like if I did come back in like ‘it would all be up to me again’ and I would have to figure everything out and you know Ian wouldn’t necessarily have the input because he’s so grateful for just being there in the first place that he wouldn’t necessarily want to put his foot down but I saw that would be something that you would take, you know help me take the lead on and it’s been really cool coming back together and feeling like we are two entities who are completely on the same page with everything but also we can separate from each other every once and a while and take our own lead in doing things working towards the same goal, but I didn’t feel like it was all on my shoulders anymore, Ian had, you were forced into that position, and you were forced to learn very quickly, but you did, and now we’re able to run this thing as a duo who also have independent ideas and you know creatively are able to put our foot down where it needs to.”

-

Jon: [asks why Anthony decided to come back despite having his own success independently]

Anthony: [talks about seeing old clips of their sketches online and how he had resigned himself to thinking their old content was only good because of the nostalgia making him imagine it fondly] “…but watching the clips I was like ‘wait, our writing…’ , there was obviously a lot of shitty stuff, but our writing at times was really, really solid and our, the chemistry we had together off-camera and on-camera was really strong, and we fit together in this way where we kind of balanced each other out and we were able to create stuff that was really, really solid that I hadn’t found in anyone else separately. I’d found also that Ian you told me you also realised the same thing, that the way that we work together is kind of like this magical combination that we haven’t really found anywhere else.”

They make me fucking SOB 😭 I cannot resist when they talk about their connection with one another and the chemistry they have together, and how it’s something they’ve never found in anyone else. It’s so special. THEY WERE MADE FOR EACH OTHER!

-

Ian: [talking about how they want to make content they believe in and not just to make money and how their focus now is quality over quantity]

Anthony: [agrees and talks about how their approach is on being excited about the content itself and what viewers would most love to see rather than thinking of only pleasing the inventors like it was in the past with Defy]

Jon: “Yeah, it’s amazing how, I mean feelings matter when it comes to a creative business.”

Anthony: “Yeah, especially when you’re operating from a creative place, you know it’s not, we’re not just in the operations of the business, in fact I think it’s really good that we are, you know our faces are attached to it, our creative endeavours are fully public, our friendship is public. All these things, you know I feel like if all these things weren’t fully visible I could see some world where I’m like well, you know operating from a place of like ‘we’re just investors’, but I’m really glad that we, we’re in the same position now that we were in when we first started, which is us being two really, really close friends who love making each other laugh, love spending time together, love creating stuff together, love capturing the magic that we feel when we’re hanging out together and enjoying our time together and displaying that for other people to enjoy as well.”

Oh look, it’s me crying again 😩

I know I already included this quote earlier in this post, but of course had to touch on it again. It truly was just a roundabout way of Anthony saying ‘we’re two really, really close friends who love each other.’ But also talking about how they feel it’s ‘magic’ when they’re together and how they want to share that with others 🥹😭

-

Ian: [talks about how great the efficiency of the Smosh office space is]

Anthony: “It’s really cool, we almost have a blank slate to build out this place and make it work perfectly for exactly what we need and when we have multiple other channels; we have Smosh Pit, which is the channel where a group of people, you know we have a cast of really incredible people that helped in many ways keep the Smosh brand alive while I was gone, and you know Ian you helped elevate all of these really talented people and performers.”

A little 2 for 1 compliment from Anthony there, both for the cast and for Ian, of course. Again, something he’s mentioned before and think it’s really great how much he recognises everyone’s efforts in keeping Smosh going as well as Ian’s.

-

[I&A alking about their writing process]

Anthony: “I’ll be sitting there with the laptop writing out all our ideas. We’ll kind of be, lately because this is this very early stages, we’ll go back through some of our old videos, I’m like ‘here I really like that one element of this old sketch, this kind of idea’ and it’s usually like us going head to head on something, us working together to solve a problem, us going against some kind of like- us joining forces to go against some kind of evil thing, or us like trying to one up each other, and mess with each other, and ruin each other’s day, like we’ll figure out one kind of a through-line for the plot and then we just start throwing out a bunch of ideas. But I’ll start writing it out and then Ian will, he always gets, like actually the thing that always happens is Ian goes [imitates Ian’s laugh] ‘this is a really stupid idea’ and I’m like ‘what is it?’ [fakes typing] and I’m ready to type it out and he tells me the idea and it’s usually really, really funny, and if it’s not then I usually get an idea, I’m like ‘okay, I see where you’re going with that but I don’t think that works because of this, I think that we could go somewhere down here’ and I think that the interesting part of that process is it doesn’t ever seem like any of us is just like ‘no, that’s stupid’ or anything like that…”

Again, another thing Anthony continually brings up is the “stupid” (according to Ian) ideas that Ian throws out. Which are something he’s mentioned being his favourite, and how those are the ones he’s always most excited/intrigued for.

Anthony: [continues on about their writing process and how he’s in charge of the formatting and feels he’s good at picking out which ideas work and which don’t]

Ian: “Yeah, and I think some people would get- could get frustrated at something like that but I think Anthony and I have a specific shorthand, and I think we understand each other in a way that we never other found creative partners that quite clicked with us like we do in the time that we were apart. I feel like I didn’t quite, I felt like I was kind of like operating at like 70% and I never, like I still had great people that I was working with and really, really funny people that I was working with, but I never felt like I was contributing at a level that I should��ve been, that I can with Anthony.”

Once more them bringing up this connection with one another that they’ve never found with anyone else. I’ve said it so many times, but it’s so special. And Ian and Anthony realise how special it is.

-

Jon: [asks if the change in the algorithm is something they think about when writing jokes that could ruin monetisation for them and how they protect themselves against that]

Anthony: “Yeah, every once and a while we run into something where we’re like ‘that’s pushing it a little bit’ and what we do because we have the backup of having memberships, it gives us a little bit of leeway to be like ‘but that’s the funniest joke.’ But I think it’s actually really interesting and one thing that Ian and I do really well, is we work really well with limitations, like the more limited something gets, as long as I have freedom within that limitation, I think that our stuff gets really strong. In the early days we were literally making things out of cardboard, we created you know that Boxman character because we didn’t have any budget all we had was- we were looking around for props in my bedroom and we have this cardboard box there, like we work really well within like confined spaces and every once and a while it’s like ‘oh that joke it’s kind of pushing it in a way that might not really do well, it could get the video just like- not even just demonetised but blacklisted and like then the audience doesn’t even see it’ and we’re like ‘is there a funnier way to do this that still works?’ and 9 times out of 10 we think of a funnier idea that I’m like ‘if I were given these two options I would choose this one anyway’ so it doesn’t feel like a compromise, it feels like a bonus.”

You know I live for the individual compliments they give to one another, but every so often we get these compliments where they compliment themselves as well as the other and I love it because it goes back to their dynamic again and how well they work together to solve issues as a team.

-

[I&A watch old news clip of them from 2006 when they were creating the first Food Battle]

Anthony: “… but it was so cool, you know that was, that literally showed where the first videos that we ever made happened; It was in my bedroom at my mom’s house, and that is what our life was like, just sitting there on the computer getting excited about ideas and I think Ian was the one that suggested the ‘2006’, you know so I was there implementing these ideas and I would have a great time editing these things and learning how to edit in the process and Ian would, because he wasn’t editing, his brain was free to come up with all these insane ideas and he was like ‘oh do 2006 and have it crash together!’ and then I learned how to make the graphics come on-screen and like all these explosions and sound effects and I think that showed the dynamic between us, of me sitting there implementing these ideas and finding a way to one-up or guide some of the ideas, throw out the stuff that didn’t work super well, telling him like ‘I think we could do better with that one’ and Ian just sitting there and spitballing ideas and it’s just really cool to see that.”

And again, more talk of their dynamic. It’s definitely one of the things they recognise most about their connection with each other, and how it balances them and the way they work out so perfectly.

-

Jon: “The number 6 seems to be really important in your journey.”

[I&A laugh]

Jon: “I don’t know what is up with that, but 2005 you guys uploaded your first video. 2011, 6 years later, you sold. 6 years after that, 2017, you [Anthony] left. 6 years later, you guys bought it back. And I think it was 6 years and 6 days to the date, when I was looking at it…”

Anthony: “For the announcement? Yeah.”

Jon: “For the announcement.”

Anthony: “None of those things were planned to be 6 years. It just was.”

Ian: “Was it in June too?”

Anthony: “Yup.”

Ian: “Sixth month.”

Yes!! I was so excited when this was brought up! Gonna refer you guys back to this post I made about Angel Numbers. Know it’s not the type of thing everyone believes in, but I don’t think anyone can deny there is a pattern there with them and the number 6. And it’s something they notice themselves too.

-

Anthony: [talking about comments of people finding that same joyful absurdity in Smosh sketches again that they felt when they were kids] “I think a lot of us got kind of trapped in this cycle of looking at really dark content for a long time, and we started to feel like the world was a dark and scary place and just kind of feel shitty, and creating this stuff and consuming this type of content I hope it can help remind people that there is a little bit of light in the world, and capturing, like having that special dynamic with a friend, or with a group of friends is really special.”

“having that special dynamic with a friend” just wanted to point out that he looked over at Ian when he said this 🥹

And with one last reiteration of their special dynamic, that brought us to the end of the interview.

Submissive and Breedable

Yes. It is time to talk about ‘that’ moment. And don’t tell me there wasn’t something complimentary in it! That’s why I’m including it. Anyways, yes, Anthony called Ian “submissive and breedable” 🫠

You’ve all probably seen the clip by now but just to provide the context anyways. In the BTS they’re sitting on the couch together and Ian jokes about not being able to get up :-

Ian: “I’m almost 40, I can barely get up. Help… help… help…”

Anthony: “You’re on your own.” [laughs] “Why do you look so submissive and breedable right now?”

I hate him, I really do (affectionate) 🤦‍♀️

So yeah, that was a thing that happened… 👀

Stuck In A Toilet - Flashback w/ Smosh

After a week of Twitter shenanigans (x)(x)(x)(x)(x)(x) (x) and a roundabout way of promoting Food Battle, we got another eps of Flashback. This is when they were beginning to get sick but I don’t think realised they had covid yet. Anthony wasn’t too bad but Ian was sneezing and yawning throughout it. The one little complimentary moment I wanted to include was from one of those moments where Ian yawned and Anthony reached over to rub his shoulder which was very sweet ☺️ I actually posted the clip here for anyone interested.

-

Another small little moment that I took as complimentary happened towards the end of the video was them discussing their old hairstyles and Ian was asked whether he’d ever bring the bowl back and he said that he doesn’t think his hair has the same thickness so he doesn’t think he’d be able to achieve it. He then tries to style his hair back into a bowl :-

Anthony: “Oh shit, he’s doing it! He’s doing it!”

Ian: “My hair’s pretty long right now.”

Anthony: “Yeah, you can do it. I really think you’d be able to rock it just the same.”

Just love how Anthony’s always bigging him up to make him feel more confident LIKE YES! YOU TELL HIM ANTHONY!

Extended Livestream

So this livestream was to make up for the few that they’d missed. They had a lot to cover, including the “submissive and breedable” moment :-

[chat comment: ‘Is Ian looking submissive and breedable right now?’]

Anthony: [looks Ian up and down] “Yes.”

Ian: “You think so? Aw, shoot.”

Anthony: “Yes, he really do be looking submissive and breedable right now.”

Anthony needs to relax, I swear 😩 (we love it tho)

-

[reacting to Ian pulling out a hammer in the Cursed Magic 8 Ball sketch]

Anthony: “This was such a random moment. This was definitely an Ian joke, I love it though.”

He truly loves that boy’s humour so much, it’s one of his most favourite things about him ☺️

-

[talking about Anthony’s hideout in the sketch]

Anthony: “The secret hideout looked cozy as fuck.”

Ian: “Yeah, dude. It was hot as hell in there too, right?”

Anthony: “It was hot though, yeah, cause there were lights obviously. So these Christmas lights were not LED so they were producing a lot of heat and uh, my body, quite warm…”

Ian: “Cause you’re, submissive and breedable…”

Anthony: “Yes. Yes, Ian.”

THEYRE SO ANNOYING 😩 just had to include this moment since the shoe was on the other foot and it was Ian’s turn to call Anthony the now infamous quote.

-

[chat comment: Ian’s gone from looking like a depressed middle-aged dad to super happy and sparkling]

Anthony: “Awww, you’re sparkling.”

That’s right Anthony! And it’s all because of you 🥹 he lets him Bejeweled ✨

-

[signing out the livestream and Ian says he still has covid brain because he can’t get his word out]

Anthony: [talking about seeing everyone in the next livestream] “And until then, I will nurse Ian back to health.”

Ian: “Please. I am submissive and healable.”

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Very cute how Anthony said he’d nurse him back to health though.

And on that note, that brought us to the end of October…

November 2023

Food Battle Trailer Watch Party + Tier List

So November rolled around and it was time for Food Battle promo. In this livestream they watched the 2023 trailer, plus ranked all the previous Food Battle’s. And in it we got this moment :-

[reacting to this still]

Ian: “Yo, that butt though.”

Anthony: “Yeah, that donk goes hard.”

Okay Anthony… 👀😏

Food Battle 2006 VS 2016 (Flashback w/ Smosh)

So this Flashback they had Courtney and Chanse on for, in which we got this moment :-

[watching Food Battle 2016]

Ian: “This hair though. Not a vibe.”

Chase: “The hair’s not a vibe.”

Courtney: “You figured it out.”

Ian: “That’s Ghostmates. That’s Ghostmates hair.”

Chanse: “You figured it out now.”

Anthony: “Oh, you figured it out, daddy.”

He does this to torture me I tell you.

Also I’m all for Courtney’s suggestion at the end of the video for them to stare into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes whilst calling each other ‘daddy’. Just tell us how many views to make it happen boys!

We Roast Anthony With Memes (Who Meme’d It)

I have been dying to talk about this! Because it was a crossover of all my favourite people Ian and Anthony + Taylor 🙌 I actually made a video out of these moments here. So they had Anthony on ‘Who Meme’d It’ with Courtney and Angela, along with a lot of the cast and crew watching from the sidelines.

One of the memes was this one comparing Ian and Anthony to Taylor and Travis, and Angela explains the meaning behind it to Anthony about the whole ‘Taylor put Travis on the map’ meme and how people only started caring about him when he started dating Taylor, and in this meme they were comparing Ian to Travis and Anthony to Taylor 😭

But Anthony was not having that!

Anthony: “That’s not fair to Ian. That’s messed up. Ian carried this company for 6 years!”

You tell ‘em Anthony! 😤

But yes I was living for the crossover plus Anthony defending Ian on top of that! It was like that moment was specifically curated for me 😌

-

Another moment of Anthony defending Ian in the video was when the meme about Ian’s very limited clothing options popped up 🤭

Again, Anthony was not having it :-

Anthony: [laughing] “That is fucked!”

Ian: [comes out to compare the current shirt he’s wearing to the one’s in the picture]

Anthony: “He has a fourth [shirt].”

Ian: “No, that’s a different shirt [on the board].”

Anthony: “Yeah, there’s no pocket on that one.”

Ian: “Yeah, see the no pocket?” Different shirt. Different shirt.”

Anthony: “Wow, Ian has five shirts.”

Love Anthony sticking up for him here! Just like shouting over everyone else to be in his corner, it’s very sweet ☺️

Food Battle 2023 Watch Party

Food Battle 2023 finally arrived and of course we got a livestream with the boys which included some complimentary moments :-

Ian was unhappy with how his hair looked in the scenes where they were on the roof in Food Battle because the wind was blowing it. He mentioned this in the stream and Anthony kept trying to reassure him that it was fine and saying his own hair was messed up 🥺

Ian: “I just hate how the direction of this wind was blowing was not ideal, I did not take that into consideration when we set up this shot.”

Anthony: “Yeah, Ian was not happy that his hair was all fucked up.”

Ian: “My hair is massively fucked for this entire [scene].”

Anthony: “But I was like it works for the final scene.”

Ian: “Yeah, it like makes me look insane, that’s fine.”

Anthony: “Well me too, when I stand up. I’ll show you in a bit. I’ll point it out.”

…

[watching the bit in question]

Anthony: “I look insane with my hair there.”

Ian: “Yeah, but, you think your hair looks insane. Look at this, look at this bullshit. What is that?”

Anthony: “It just looks like the wind’s blowing on you. Or it looks like you’re like an infant in a cartoon and that’s how they draw your hair.”

Ian: “What even is that? What would you even call this?”

Anthony: “The floof. The wispy floof.”

Just love Anthony trying to make him feel better 🥹

-

[cuts to the end screen and the close up shot of Ian and Anthony’s asses in the BTS]

Anthony: “Oh. Oh man. No, it’s so good.”

Anthony’s got a thing for Ian’s assets 😏

And in saying that it leads me on to the last compliment from this stream :-

-

We finally got Anthony’s thoughts of Ian in the maid outfit :-

Anthony: “Okay, alright, thoughts on the maid outfit.”

Ian: “What do you mean thoughts on the maid outfit?”

Anthony: “I thought it was a pretty good outfit.”

Ian: “Yeah, it’s hot. I think we both agree on that.”

Anthony: “It accentuates all the right places.”

Told you he loves Ian’s assets 🤭

Try Not To Laugh Challenge - Ian’s Birthday

So Anthony along with the cast, crew and some special guests done a TNTL for Ian’s birthday, it included multiple moments of them cheering, clapping and celebrating him but a lot of their bits were roasts to him, but of course his bestie came through as always :-

[Anthony comes out for his bit and starts playing music from the keyboard]

Anthony: “Hey, so you know when you found out that we were going to be buying Smosh back and you decided to get hot.”

Posted a clip of this moment here.

Have nothing more to add, what Anthony said speaks for itself.

Zach Sang Show Interview

So the boys went on the Zach Sang show and covered a lot of different topics and talked about their YouTube journey, and of course their reuniting was brought up :-

Dan: “How did you guys reconnect? Like who reached out to who? Or did you guys sit down one day together?”

Ian: “A friend of mine, I was talking to her about Anthony and she was like ‘you should reach out to him, like what are you doing’.”

Anthony: “What were you saying to her about me? Like ‘oh this old friend of mine’.”

Ian: “Well cause I was like telling her about, I was telling her about Smosh and you know talking about you and yeah I think she could kind of like saw, you know there’s still like, I still, you know I spoke fondly of you and everything, so she was like ‘you should get back together with him’.”

I know we already knew this story, but now with the inclusion of the fact that Ian was speaking fondly about Anthony is so sweet to hear 🥹

-

Zach: “What have you learned about each other from this second Smosh chapter? Or whatever you would describe it, this… rekindling? Or resurrection?”

Anthony: “One thing that stands out to me is how much Ian was forced to step up into the leader position, cause you know for so many years as we were working together, you know Ian was really like ‘go with the flow’, and that’s where we actually excelled was that dynamic between us, was I would take a little bit more of the leadership role, little bit more like rigid, like ‘get this thing done. figure out this thing. I have this to-do list and these goals’ and I was like kinda doing that kind of thing, all the programming and stuff. While Ian was a lot more focused on just being creative and shooting out ideas, and that’s where I think the dynamic between us really flourished, but now, you know I’ve kinda been, because I’ve been off on my own I’ve been forced to kind of hone in on that creative, go with the flow side, while Ian’s been forced to hone in on that leadership mentality, and I think it’s really cool to see that side of both of us flourish.”

Know we’ve also heard this multiple times before, but I just love when Anthony admires how much Ian stepped up into that leadership role after he left, even though it wasn’t what Ian necessarily wanted. But that recognition now from Anthony is such growth, and I love how it’s something he continually points out and praises him for.

Ian: [talks about how he felt he was thrown into the deep end to be a leader when Anthony left, and even though it was hard he’s glad he stuck with Smosh as he still saw the potential it had]

Anthony: “Yeah, and I really respect Ian pulling Smosh through just so many years of all that difficulty, kind of like tredging through this like swamp with this company and turning it, and keeping it alive, keeping it thriving, creating new formats and shows and highlighting the cast and you know growing it into what it became when I decided that you know it was time, we could do this again, and I think in the final years of me being at Smosh I started to resent everything. I started to resent you know the parent company and kind of what they turned Smosh into, and how Ian and I lost our friendship in some ways because of it, but also because of ourselves, and I think because I in part of that I was resenting Ian in part of that, I think I forgot to really respect and honour the work that Ian had put into it, and I think part of me because I felt like so much of it was out of my control and you know I felt like ‘if it was all in my control this would have been fine’ you know what kind of a story that I built in my head, so I think I started to resent Ian and the way that the company had went so it was really cool to be watching from a distance and as I started to reconnect with Ian and everything to kind of start to understand that mindset that he had, why he stuck around, what he has built it into, and you know growing into this leadership position and taking all these roles on that he didn’t want and you know all these positions that I felt like I was thrown into Ian was now being thrown into…”

Again, that recognition for all Ian’s hard work and about how difficult it must’ve been for him to be thrown into that role when he left.

Anthony: [talks about how he feels his upbringing affected him resenting and being frustrated with that leadership role when he was at Smosh because of the responsibilities he had to take on for his family due to his mom’s agoraphobia] “So I felt like I dealt with Smosh like that to a certain degree and I think that part of me was trying to have Ian be like co-running it entirely, like 50/50 and I got in my head like ‘it needs to be 50/50’ because I think that I wanted that kind of in my childhood home, so because Ian was so much more focused on being more creative and in many ways keeping Smosh fun, which I feel is at the heart of Smosh, I think a part of me resented Ian for not taking on that leadership role with me as much, and you know I think one element of us reconnecting is Ian really has taken on that leadership role and I don’t feel it’s on my shoulders anymore to that same degree and Smosh, you know Ian kept Smosh alive and thriving for 6 years while I was gone, I don’t feel now like it’s hanging on by a thread that I’m holding on to, it feels like it can live and thrive on it’s own and Ian’s there to back me up whenever I need it.

I’ll forever love this dynamic between them now, again it’s something we’ve heard from them before, how they share that leadership now. I’m so glad they have that in each other, because as they’ve spoken about, it’s a lonely job being the boss, so having a partner in that, someone who is your equal to share that load with makes all the difference, which is something we’ve seen manifest over and over again, especially in regards to Ian, and it’s something he’s spoken about himself, just how much happier he is that he knows he has Anthony there backing him up. I just think it’s so special that they have that in each other.

Daddy 2.0

So everyone has been simping for Ian in his priest costume for Anthony’s Funeral Roast, and rightfully so :-

Andrew Scott who?

And of course Mr No.1 Ian simp himself, Mr Anthony Padilla is at the forefront :-

Numerous other Smosh members commented on the post, but Chanse and Amanda’s were the thirstiest two :-

And who was out here lurking in Ian’s comments liking each and every one including those^^ two…

Real subtle as always, Anthony 🤭

Ian’s Birthday

Just wanted to include a little bit about Ian’s birthday since I did for Anthony’s, and similar to his, it was more complimentary-by-extension, but still as utterly cute ☺️

Of course as his No.1 fan this day must be just as equally exciting for Anthony - a full day to celebrate Ian! (Not that he doesn’t do that every day tho)

We got this adorable birthday post from Ian of Anthony giving him his gift :-

Of course inspired by the recurring joke created by Shayne in this video that Ian is Chumbawamba’s No.1 fan 😄

And Anthony’s comment

‘Birthday boy’ gets me 🥹

Another sweet little moment from the day was this video that I posted here of the cast and crew bringing Ian a cake and singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him, I put this in my tags at the time, but notice how Anthony’s right in there front and centre to celebrate him 😭 It’s also the first birthday Anthony has properly been able to celebrate with him in so long given they had only just re-connected before Ian’s birthday last year so things were still new, so I’m sure this time around it was so special for them to be able to celebrate both their birthdays together for the first time in so many years 🥰

And with that, that brings us to an end on October and November. One more month left of this year and I can’t wait to see what that’ll bring us. I’ll see you guys next time 💖

[bkdk-dump-blog]

⚠️Spoilers For MHA Volume 42 (Chapter 429) ⚠️

I’m gonna give you guys a little story time:

I didn’t intend to look for leaks but I was scrolling through the Izuku Midoriya/Katsuki Bakugo tag on AO3 where I found someone dedicating a entire “fic” to complain about Izuchako being canon now instead of Bakudeku. I didn’t even know that 42 got leaked until I saw that

I’m not going to show who wrote it or anything like that, but they seemed a little over dramatic about it and knowing myself I need to see the full picture. Also, I’ve been CRAVING new MHA content! Can you blame me? (Yes, probably)

Surprisingly I only found screenshots of it here on Tumblr and not on Reddit

I’ll say my initial thoughts now just to get it off my chest and then come back to this post one the actual release comes out and I know everything

Shoto, my precious boy! You look so pretty and happy!!! GOD I love the shorter hair on him! He looks so handsome 😊

Just the fact that Izuku and Katsuki are sitting together at the bar… Horikoshi! YOU’RE KILLING ME!!!

It’s honestly surprising that people were upset that Togo died. It was pretty apparent to me but people are allowed to feel how they like

At the end of the day for the Izuchako and Bakudeku war, nobody won in my eyes (from what I’ve seen). Wow… it’s just way more underwhelming than I thought. We only got bits of it but from what I’ve seen, it isn’t looking good…

I don’t think Deku’s father will be shown… Trust me, People would’ve found it through the leaks! I’m honestly not that upset about it since he wasn’t even a character in the first place

OMG I forgot the new Hero Ranking. I’m with the majority saying that I really don’t like it! Dare I say hate it! My boy Bakugo took down All for One and he’s in the 15th SPOT?!?? HUH?? Deku isn’t even on there!! (IK Deku probably recently became active but come on! Deku is literally the main character) Mother fucking Fat Gum is higher than Bakugo?!? Mirio as #1… after the final battle it feels so undeserved. I remember what Nighteye said but still, undeserved

Hopes:

I’m fine that BKDK isn’t canon but Horikoshi.. PLEASE! I just want any scene where Bakugo visits Midoriya when he’s a teacher. I love this headcanon way too much and it fits so well. Even just a little frame would be enough!

I don’t need Bakudeku to be canon, I just need Izuchako to be serviceable and conclude nicely. This is a very personal thing but I kind of understand why Uraraka likes Deku, but I don’t see a reason for Deku to like Uraraka in a meaningful way. Of course there’s the fact that she gave Deku his hero name (now looking back this could be a good start) and her defending him from the refugees at UA but in my eyes that isn’t enough to warrant romantic tension. I really REALLY wish Deku and Uraraka talked after she defended him. Things would’ve flowed much more smoothly! Another thing I don’t understand is with their last interaction Deku calling her his hero. I wish it was more specific. She’s his hero because of what exactly? Her defending him? Giving him his name? Killing Toga? Maybe I’m misinterpreting something. Used to find the ship cute in the beginning but now it’s just :/

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

The relationship of Winona Ryder and Brittany Murphy

So I did the industry of these two and it was very interesting if I have the correct information for Brittany, so what we going by is there both Scorpio stallions yes, Scorpio sons for Britney and Winona, where were known as a Scorpio, Venus, mercury and sun. Britney is a Scorpio son, Scorpio moon, Scorpio Venus mercury and Uranus in my video on TikTok. I said this is where her image changed may have come from. It’s suggests that she’s a Leo rising and some of the way she behaves as she got older before her just before her death and a few years before then she was doing like really weird like stances and stuff and she lost loads of weight and people are worried about her cause she was so little She was an amazing actress and I’m not just saying that because everybody says the same but she was very underrated. so going into their charts anyway let’s dive in like I said they’re both Scorpio which shows their connection with each other which I’ve put in the picture. There’s one picture I’ve put up there of her looking down they’re holding hands and they look like a really happy couple, and also Scorpio gets down like that and it will but their Scorpio VS were different because they sat in different houses and all the Scorpio. I’m sorry so society like the third house Gemini ruled but in her chart it is Scorpio/Libra because it’s placid so either way the third house had an impact on her image in her industry. Where third house represents short journeys your neighbours and your siblings and while you are nurses in this house, mixing everything up. This could’ve been where her weird partner choice came in not with Winona, but with the guys you married before she passed, it could also be why she lost so much weight so suddenly and  changed .as we look she could’ve well win by the people around her to lose weight and fit in because that time the night late 90s and the early 2000s were very fat phobic and you had to look a certain way and all of her colleagues were shocked by the way she looked even coming from Stacey – she pretends to be white., anyway, let’s dive into the Mars signs, so we’re known as a Mars and Aquarius say a lot of this in celebrities which would explain the whole androgyny of Aquarius. Think David Bowie and things like that people like that Justin Bieber like he looked like a young lesbian when he first came out excuse the pun not, and Britney‘s Mars was in opposition in Leo. If the house is alright, these two are going to have a really intense strong physical bond. Having your opposition in your mouth sign the sex is going to be amazing from experience, but even on a but also, if there’s a Mars in the seventh house position, you platonic level, which I don’t believe from these pictures that it was, they can bring in a lot of closeness, somebody you don’t feel scared of it to get close to in a physical way where you might with other people, they feel good to you oppositions can bring out the best in a person.

As we look at were known as Venus and mercury sun, Lilith stallion in the 11th cussing it into the 12th house we can show that those areas of her life are very important. A lot of celebrities will have this northern hemisphere planet showing because that is how we like seen on the outside world, what is seen and what is below the 12th house is your hidden enemies. You’re seventh house is your open enemies I’m telling you if these two were together they were like gonna be a fire repair, but a picture. Tell us 1000 words. and the connection is there without even going into it you can see how close they were. You can see how much they love each other. There’s so many pictures of them together and for when she was better at hiding her profile in the public guy, where is when Brittany got older and she changed her look many pictures of her acting a bit not out there but a little bit little bit crazy with people She came into her own when she took the role in 8 mile with Marshall Mather sa.k.a. Eminem.

 if this is gonna upset you don’t even bother reading it. I will put this in block Capitals at the end because I know Taylor Swift fans get annoyed about the fact that she is completely gay but just like a picture and you say

So like I said, Brittany is Mars is going to fall into Winona’s eighth house there’s gonna be a lot of growth there and then we known as Venus I mean Mars is going to be in in Britney‘s seventh house of relationship, it’s gonna show the open enemies of the moles and mazes at your energy is tax drive and your passion and how you get things done so it can’t be all bad and this is how I read the charts together and also were known as rising for sign fools into Brittany‘s fifth house of attraction for Leo risings conjunct the Neptune conjunct tinge her Neptune so whatever Neptune is in your chart, it can create delusions in that area of your life. The fifth house is a Leo house which was creativity acting being famous children. Maybe she really wanted a child often rising have trouble conceiving I had once Gemini and Leo were Baron, but there you go that are nutshell

[wsdanon]

Heyo! I would love to hear about your new au if you'd like to talk about it? I hope everything goes well and alright with what you described <3

hi \o/ just quickly it might not even happen but if it does I will be okay all up it will just be a bit shit for a little bit

onto the au: I’ve been inspired by some art pieces I’ve seen with the basics—vampire!pac/vampire hunter!fit. I won’t go too into the plot in case I do end up writing it (or even just sections of it to post as wips) but here we go I’ll put it under a cut

i think the big thing to me is that fit is a vampire hunter because it pays well. it’s not because he hates them or has a grudge against them or wants to protect people or anything. maybe he enjoys the fight a little but it’s mostly about the money. also maybe not when he first started but by the time the au starts he has ramon so you know he needs to provide for ramon!

i don’t really have anything against “guy who hates vampires and kills them learns not to hate vampires by falling in love with one” stories but it’s not something I’m particularly interested in writing so the motivation of money (specifically money for ramon) is important to me and I think fits fit’s (lol) character better anyway

pac and mike are vampires who were turned by cellbit ages ago when they were escaping from prison together. I like to think through the whole losing his leg thing pac got turned somehow and then mike got cellbit to turn him too so he wouldn’t have to be without pac/pac wouldn’t have to be without him. (Sidenote: I think pac is kind of upset he couldn’t turn mike but mike was panicking a little so… cellbit)

at the time of the au they all live together with felps who is like… the “human” they all feed from. he’s their special little guy and boyfriend (fuga four are all in an established polycule by this point to me) felps is a saint in this au \o/ but it doesn’t really effect those three* it mostly just means he can heal pretty fast/regenerate blood pretty fast so they don’t have to go feed from the townsfolk. they used to though! especially cellbit. but it just ended up being way too much negative attention and they figured out they could feed from felps fine so they decided to stick with that. Richarlyson is also with them \o/

(*there’s probably some way I can fill in the plot hole of vampires being repelled by holy things but still able to feed from a saint but I haven’t figured that out yet. Right now I would say it’s probably because he’s not a proper saint in my headcanons)

also this will probably be exposition if I write it at all so I’ll mention it here: but the thing that kicks off the plot is felps is kidnapped for a month so they have to go feed on townspeople again and that prompts someone to hire a vampire hunter aka fit

the dynamic between fit and Pac here is very much onesided enemies to lovers as in: fit is very insistent to himself that he’s just here to do his job. pac is certain they are living out an enemies to lovers plotline and is having fun flirting with someone who’s trying to kill him because it’s pac so of course he is. and with how fit keeps reacting to his flirting it just confirms it in his mind that this is the path they’re on. pac is right anyway it definitely is enemies to lovers and despite the attempts at professionalism fit is very much falling for Pac

i think from here on it gets into more plot stuff so I’ll leave it here for now \o/ thank you for the ask!

[fearowkenya]

Digimon Survive Week Day 1: A New World

Winds of Change - Chapter 7: Winds of Change - Part One

“Most everything we know about ourselves and our world—it tends to be based on gut instinct,” Dracmon continues with a huff. “Anything else is whatever partial information we’ve managed to glean and put together on our own. Sometimes it’s both, and sometimes the damn pieces are upside down or backwards.

“That sounds like…” Shuuji can’t even begin to wrap his mind around it. He supposes that’s exactly the problem. “…a very confusing way to live.”

“It’s all we really know,” says Dracmon plainly, “Bits and pieces, scattered between memory and instinct. But even though I don’t know what goes where or which way’s up, I’ve still got a bit of a sense of what it’s all supposed to look like, somehow.”

Desperate to not be left in the dark, Shuuji seeks answers. But those answers only raise more questions, and it turns out that there's so much about this world that he does not understand—far more than he could have ever possibly imagined.

@surviveweek WOW DIGISURVIVE WEEK!!! it's my first time participating. it felt a little like... cheating, maybe, to post a chapter of a fic i was already working on, but it turns out the prompt for day 1 fit this chapter pretty well.

as usual, link is in the source so that tumblr doesnt kick me from the tags, and extended post-chapter notes are under the cut!!!

part of me is really glad i split this chapter in half. like i said, the original edit would have been close to 10k words, and there are so many ups and downs in the combined chapter that i was giving myself whiplash rereading it. the good news is, the second part is already mostly edited, and with it being survive week, i am going to try my best to accelerate the rest of the editing and get at least chapter 8 out this week.

i got really lucky that today's theme for survive week matched up with today's chapter. i was really struggling with how to interpret "a new world", because that's the entire game, isn't it? how was i going to choose just 1 thing about this new world to talk about? ultimately, the way i interpreted the prompt was in the realization that shuuji has, that this world is confusing not just for himself, but for the creatures that call it home. from the way dracmon describes it, it's just as harsh and dangerous to the kemonogami as it is to the humans.

on the topic of dracmon--he's my favorite to write. back when i was outlining this fic, it was already solidly in place that dracmon would be doing a lot of heavy-lifting in terms of lore. why dracmon? i'll keep that to myself for now. all in good time (:

i had such a fantastic time writing shuuji and dracmon interacting. on one hand, he's good at recognizing shuuji's sudden bursts of anxiety - kaito's anxiety manifests in a way that is much more explosive and angry than shuuji's, but it's still a powerful emotion that he's dealt with before. that said, obviously the way dracmon navigates kaito's emotions is not going to fit shuuji, and it was fun writing dracmon trying to get a feel for what kind of response does or does not work for him.

i also think lopmon would be SOOOOO INTERESTING as kaito's partner. you've got this timid little guy who is SO completely different from kaito, but would be able to tell that there's a gentle side to him that's buried super deep down. kaito would absolutely frighten him with his outbursts, though, and i wonder if seeing the direct consequences of his anger would help him understand its full impact. on a more cheerful note, i think kaito would not know what to do when lopmon says saccharine, kind things about him that are undeniably true, and i think that this would be very cute!!! it's almost as confrontational as the way dracmon interacts with kaito - lopmon wouldn't be snarky or bluntly honest with kaito the way dracmon is, but i think the sweet, innocent flavor of honesty that lopmon would use instead would hit him just as hard. much to think about.

this is going to be a much shorter extended authors notes this time, because the bulk of what i have to say is about lore stuff, and the rest of that is in part 2.

my answers for reader questions!

do you think dracmon is the most knowledgeable of the main digis about how the kemonogami world works?

as i mentioned on ao3, my answer is no, but i won't say why. however! i CAN say that i think the kind of knowledge varies super widely from digi to digi. dracmon may know a lot about what happens when digimon get destroyed, but i dont think he's got the more, social, i guess??? knowledge that agumon has, where he seems really familiar so many other digimon, knowing them by name despite never having met them before.

what do you think the superpower pineapple tastes like?

i think it never tastes the same! one could be sweet and another could be salty, but it's always really good. the texture is like chewing on drywall though.

thanks for reading!! hopefully i'll have part 2 up in the next few days. i'll have to check the prompt list for survive week to see if anything fits… if not.. well, since it's mostly edited, i'll try to get it posted early anyway.

[somethingsbehindyou]

~~ looking for new roleplay partners ~~

Hi everyone! I'm not new to roleplaying at all, but am looking to get back into it after a little break and hoping for some new writing partners. I only write on discord!

Sorry in advance for the long post:

I'm 25f and have been roleplaying for a looong time. Please be 21+ before interacting (I will be checking and blocking if not). My availability fluctuates, but I’ll keep you in the loop and I won’t leave you in the dark for weeks.

I've been having so much inspiration recently and am dying for some new roleplays. I'm a real sucker for writing deep and complex characters, and very much enjoy writing for the plot and character development as opposed to poorly written smut just for the sake of it. NSFW / romance isn’t required if it’s not something you vibe with, or if it fits in with the rp I'm happy to write smut, or fade to black, whatever you're more comfortable with.

I like writing MxF, and MxM. I prefer writing complex male characters, but have a handful of female muses I adore writing.

I love playing multiple characters in a rp, but you're welcome to play as many or few as you like. The guys I play are pretty well thought out, with lots of depth, background, emotion, and usually a bunch of trauma (please tell me any limits in advance). All I ask is your character is not dry and impossible to work with. If you present me with an overly subby character who's lacking personality, I’ll probably drop the rp, sorry.

I prefer quality over quantity. I can get carried away and write pages upon pages, but if you can only manage a couple of good paragraphs, that's fine with me. I'll try and match your length in replies as long as they're not one liners, please.

I have a special soft spot for horror roleplays, and roleplays which have a lot of plot more than a dry romance between two characters. I don’t like playing the villain / victim trope constantly. I’m not going to write a kidnapper to a cutesy innocent character, sorry. But apart from that I’m open to pretty much anything, so if you’ve got any plots you’d like to try out please let me know and I’m sure we can work something out together.

Very few dark themes are off limits with me, which can all be discussed through DMs, but at the same time I love soft and fluffy plots just as much so please don’t be afraid to ask for anything!

Here’s some tropes which have been nagging at my brain recently:

Cannibal family x prying detective (or something equivalent)

Apocalypse (zombies, plague, etc — I’ve got so many characters to play for this)

Your characters car breaks down in the middle of nowhere and he stumbles across a shitty looking motel, my character is the receptionist but he’s a morally grey ghost who was murdered in the motel 20 years ago

Haunted house (I’m thinking we play a family, one parent and one teen / kid each kinda vibe - or a group of friends on vacation)

Pirates

1960s catholic orphanage with lots of religious trauma

1950s criminal x good girl

Victorian era - I have a thieving conman character who would love to scam your character out of everything they own

Supernatural creatures: vampires / werewolves / sirens (mixed with small town vibes?)

WW2 - I’ve got a couple of injured soldiers to pair with a sweet lil nurse

1930s outlaws

Stripper x gang member

Killer x cop

I’m rambling on now, but I’m open to a lot and would love to hear any thoughts or ideas you have. This is my new account so please message me if you’re interested because I don’t want to get shadow banned, but if not leave a like and I’ll reach out as soon as I can, I might just be a bit slower.

If you’ve read this far, thank you! Please don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions or ideas or anything at all really. 🌸