#i think i never in my life had seen a ship going cannon quite like that

[eybefioro]

Sometimes I jsut randomly remember that Ineffable bureaucracy happened and it's not a fanfic I read in the middle of the night.

But it makes so much sense when you look at S1. GO is all about opposing sides finding love in the middle.

Anyway, I love how boxfly going cannon changed the way I see ships in GO forever.

Institutional problem? 99% cannon already. Brownfur? Forever.

(This train of thought came from this lovely ff about Furfur and Mr Brown "Do the one you're with". It's great!)

[diyahatnight]

Genshin men NSFW head canons

Warnings: This isn’t porn with a plot, it’s more of the sexual life of your relationship!

Minor’s dni

You can read the non nsfw version

Parings: Childe, Kazuha, Venti, Zhongli, Ayato, Wanderer, Xiao, Diluc, and Cyno X F! reader

Summary: These are head cannons and mini stories of your sex life with these characters, after your relationship started getting serious.

Notes: This is a modern au with phones and sending text messages. It also always seems so out of character for me when i write nsfw stuff. Please excuse my grammar mistakes <3

Childe

You haven’t seen your boyfriend for a while so you decided to go visit him at the golden house for a little. You did this often whenever you missed him so when he sees you enter he’s not surprised “Hey girlie.” You go over and give him a hug and he hugs you back. “Since you’re here how about we spar?” he asks you that every time you come and visit him. There is only one condition, if he wins, he gets to fuck you. But if you win he still gets to fuck you. There’s no escaping it. He loved when you came in and visited him because every time he had you pinned against the wall with your legs over his shoulders while he pounded into your cunt like there’s no tomorrow. This was his most favorite place to fuck. You never admitted it but you sometimes come and visit him when you’re horny and craved his fat cock.

Kazuha

Kazuha would be out at sea for a very long time, longer than usual. And you missed him sooooo much. For some reason you always found yourself on a tiny boat next to a large one which happens to be Beidou’s ship. They pull you in wondering what the hell you were doing in the middle of the ocean and you had no idea either. You told them how long you’ve been out there and they were shocked to hear that you’ve been at sea without food and water for a week, wondering how you’re still alive. After they fed you and gave you some water Beidou told Kazuha to take you to his personal cabin so you could shower and get some warm clothes, so he did. He had you laying on the bed in an instant. He had locked the door when y’all first came in the room. He had planned to fuck you before you the both of you went inside the cabin. He always slowly inserted himself until he bottomed out. To him, fucking you and making love with you was 2 different things. So he was going to make you feel good slow, and sensually. y’all are gonna be in there for a while as he had you cumming on his cock multiple times before he pulled out and came on your stomach, and beidou new that. As that wasn’t your first time in his cabin, that’s why you were so familiar with it.

Venti

Venti loved ovulation week so much, that sweet smell that came from you turned him on so much. As he was the anemo archon, he was able to smell basically everything. So when he came home drunk as hell you had to bathe him like a child. You were wearing a nightgown and no panties because you were in the middle of changing and when he came home he interrupted you. That sweet smell was so strong and was calling his name he pulled you inside the bathtub with your nightgown still on and stuck his hard cock inside you with no warning. He wanted to taste and see if you were as sweet as you smelled but he hadn’t brushed his teeth yet so fucking you on spot was his next best option.

Bonus: When your sex life with him started you didn’t expect much from him because he’s a little man and doesn’t seem like the type that carries something heavy in his pants, but you didn’t mind. You had completely forgot that he had the ability to shape shift, so you were shocked at the bulge a lone, but when he pulled it out your jaw was on the floor. Maybe that’s why he was so small and skinny but so heavy…

Zhongli

Zhongli’s cock is HUGE no questions asked. He’s about 9-10 inches, you think more about 11 but he doesn’t believe so. It’s more on the thick side so it’s quite heavy and the boners are outrageous. You decided to mess with him in public once and it was your worse decision of your life. When y’all got home that day he scolded you for being childish for grinding yourself on his cock. But he fucked you on the spot in public, in front of people. Secretly though, and nobody noticed, somehow. Nobody noticed how you arched your back on him and how your eyes rolled back when you had an orgasm on his cock. Luckily your skirt concealed the connection.

Ayato

Ayato had once done something that felt illegal. During a meeting he had you under the table giving him head. He told you to be careful and not make any noises while you sucked on his cock under the table. You felt like you were going to get in trouble if you got found out, but Ayato assured you that you wouldn’t he’s just doing it privately so the people don’t think down on him. It shocked you when he asked you to do this because he doesn’t seem like the type of person to be interested. The whole time he was talking he had a straight face not expressing pleasure at all, it wasn’t a struggle to hide it but he accidentally paused when he came inside your mouth. After the short pause he continued to talk like he didn’t just empty his balls down your throat. After the meeting is over he tells the last person out to lock the door after them so he could pull you out and bend you over the table.

Wanderer (Hat guy/ Kuni)

This man has absolutely no fears. You wanted to go and find Tighnari so he could teach you how to make some medicines and your boyfriend Kuni decided to accompany you. You and him kept messing around and he pushed you inside a pond, you came out soaking wet and your clothes see through, and that turned him on. You found a nice lady and she allowed you to go in and dry your clothes and change. Kuni followed in and sat on the toilet, the bathroom was quite small but it was fine. You got completely naked and he watched you as you undressed, with absolutely no shame and visibly getting hard. He pulled you onto his lap and just got to the point, fucked you cowgirl style but he was ramming into you hard and all you hear is skin slapping and concealed moans. The lady heard and was disgusted, you felt bad for having sex in a random lady’s home but Kuni didn’t care. When the both of you walked out she was gonna confront you but the glare your boyfriend gave her scared the hell out of her.

Xiao

He was inexperienced when you first met him all he new was what sex was. After being with him for a while he was open to anything so he did anything you pleased, anything that you asked for. He pleased your every sexual desire, when you told him what you think would feel really good. He’d look at porn videos to get visuals, you told him what porn was and ever since then he got all his moves from there. He randomly started being experienced and you were kinda scared when he had you cumming 3 times on his cock before he even came once.

Diluc

He’s such a calm lovable sweet partner, and he does whatever he can to please you. And whatever he can to have you screaming his name. If you come and visit him at the winery while nobody is around and it’s just the two of you, he’s having his own special serving. He doesn’t initiate the first move, but when you start he won’t stop until you have had at least 2 orgasms and him 1. He likes to make you take him over the counter or in the back, he’s a freak in hiding. He honestly doesn’t care if the two of you get caught because it’s his winery, he doesn’t care if he traumatizes some kids eyes, why would you let your kid wander inside of a winery that’s not his fault. They could probably hear you screaming his name too, that parent should have known what the slurred “Diluc” followed by a couple cuss words and skin slapping was, and not even let that child near the winery while there was another child in the process of being made. After he’s satisfied, he stops being super bold then apologizes to you, then pray to the archons after the fact that nobody saw or heard him and you.

Cyno

You have so much access to this man’s body anytime you please, he’s half naked all the time so your hands are everywhere. Once you, Cyno, Tighnari, and Collei were just exploring the desert and Cyno thought of a new joke and really wanted to tell you, even though he knew you didn’t like them. (idk bout y’all but i personally like his jokes) He was really excited to tell you this one but he had to do it in private. When Tighnari walked ahead and Collei followed him he took this as his time to tell you the most sexual joke known to man. He also told you how nice you looked, and you actually laughed but the joke kinda made you horny. You were all over touching his body and at one point your hand started to trail down a little too far, while standing behind the innocent. He had to pull you to a private cave with no monsters and fuck your brains straight. He said that you were just thinking with your little cunt and you said “Yeah and she craves your attention.” so he gave it to you.

I just KNOW Zhongli, Childe, and Diluc’s dicks are huge, have y’all seen that thing on tiktok of how you can see their pp animation? They all got third legs oml.

[apieters]

“Pirates” vs. Pirates

So I’m currently reading The Republic of Pirates by Colin Woodard and it’s a fascinating history about the very small world of the Golden Age of Piracy. Apparently, all the famous pirates of the age—Samuel “Black Sam” Bellamy, Charles Vane, Henry Jennings, Benjamin Hornigold, and Edward “Blackbeard” Teach/Thatch—all knew each other. Their real-life stories are fascinating, truly worthy of a series all their own (Yes, I know Black Sails exists. No, its portrayals of these real historical figures according to its wiki are not historically accurate in the slightest—you don’t need to change anything to make their stories interesting).

We all “know,” cognitively, that real piracy is very different from the movies, but I started thinking of how exactly it was different, and trying to identify what my childhood fantasies of “piracy” actually were. And I’ve come to the conclusion that I never actually wanted to be a pirate—I wanted to be Jim Hawkins from Treasure Island.

I’ll explain (because that’s what we do on Tumblr).

Real piracy, from Woodard’s description, was basically getting mugged on a boat. The pirates would show up, maybe fire a cannon or two, but usually not even that—they’d sail up to you or find you gathering fresh water and fruit on a tropical beach, be bristling with weapons, point them at you and say, “Empty your pockets ships holds.” And the poor merchant vessels (disproportionately Spanish for historical geopolitical reasons) being targeted usually did what you’re supposed to do in a mugging—give up their wallet cargo and get away with their lives, and like most muggers the pirates were more than willing to let those people go, taking the money and running.

And whatever I had in mind when I thought of pirates, I wasn’t thinking about the nautical equivalent of a guy in a black leather jacket and beanie hiding in an alley and then drawing a knife saying, “Give me your wallet!” (Yes, that’s my image of a mugger—thankfully, I’ve never been mugged).

The most pirate-y pirate I’ve seen on-screen is Captain Jack Sparrow of Pirates of the Caribbean fame—he is actually portrayed doing sketchy things like picking pockets and stealing boats, and lying to/manipulating people for his own personal gain. But here’s the thing—he never mugs anyone. In fact, he only steals from an “innocent” person’s pocket once, when he steals the bribable dockmaster’s purse off his desk in the first movie. What Jack Sparrow actually does—what all the pirates spend most of their screen time doing in the PotC franchise—is hunting for Maguffins magic treasures. They’re not pirates—they’re treasure hunters. And according to the PotC wiki, this is true in the prequel books, too—all the stories are about treasure hunting, not mugging merchant vessels. Jack Sparrow was never a real pirate—he was and is an edgier, funnier Jim Hawkins, the 12-year-old main character of Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island.

We shouldn’t be too surprised—Treasure Island is the Trope Codifier for pirate stories, and it’s all about, well, looking for treasure on a tropical island. No merchant vessels were harmed in the making of that story. In fact, there is only one ship—the Hispaniola—that appears in the story at all. So of course the big “pirate” movie franchise is going to portray “pirates” doing what “pirates” do in stories—looking for treasure.

Yeah, it’s sanitized and romaticized, but comparing the fiction to Woodard’s more historical book, an early-18th century treasure-hunting story really does have all the benefits of real piracy without the drawbacks: real piracy really was lucrative, and if a pirate wanted to quit while they were ahead and make some wise spending choices they could go from being a literal beggar to being upper middle-class literally overnight. Treasure-hunting gets you, as a character, the same rags-to-riches prize to drives the story, but without the inconvenience of, you know, shoving a flintlock pistol in anyone’s face (sometimes you have to for self-defense, but never to get the treasure itself). Plus, in a treasure-hunting story you get to be on a boat, wear cool/funny cloths, say “Arrrgh!” And hang out in the Bahamas, without the messiness of scurvy, weevil-infested ship’s biscuits, hurricanes, and the threat of getting arrested by the local governor and executed (unless the author decides to make any of those things a plot point. Authors are just mean like that). Also, the original owners of the treasure are never looking for it, unlike the historical European powers who considered the loss of a treasure galleon a Really Big Deal. And if you ever get into a fight, it’s always because someone else who wants the treasure too is saying “I’ll fight you for it”—in a certain twisted way, the violence in “pirate” stories is more like a sporting event than anything else, a competition between teams for a common prize. Even the “bad guys” of “pirate” stories aren’t thieves.

So do I fancy being a mugger and intimidating people to give up their wealth, even if I don’t actually kill anyone (many real pirates were surprisingly merciful to their victims)? Not really. I realize that as a kid (and, let’s be honest, we still dream of this every so often as an adult) I really just wanted to go on a pleasure cruise in the Bahamas in funny clothes, dig in the sand, and find a whole bunch of gold, silver, and jewels in a wooden chest. That’s the premise of Treasure Island and Pirates of the Caribbean. I don’t like imagining myself as Blackbeard or Sam Bellamy. I want to just be Jim Hawkins.

Thanks for reading—here’s a picture of my character Chris Carnovo, who started off both in-universe and in my imagination as a “pirate.”

[capcavan]

AFTG tfc ch1 Re Read by cavan

(i do not remember any details so its almost like im reading it first time lmao) tumblr does not give me read more cut off option so deal with this i guess sorry #CavanrereadAFTG if you need to block it chapter 1 "She'd beat him to the hell and back if she saw him sitting around and mopping like that" is quite violent way to phrase "she woudl be displeased to see him .." so was neil casually beaten by his mom or we only on page 4 of neil backed up trauma management and im already thinking about scene where this boy will finally brek open and admit how much he wants normal life and not having to hide his emotions and you know live a little without this whole batman personal covering his face already hit by brain made connection about how exy is what took rikos life away from him and how it's the thing that kept neil alive through the worst of his here i am making it about this little cunt already but what else were you expecting of me?

learning new things about English language always nice! neil "its cool my mom died i can finally stay in one place for a bit" how had this boy not murdered this woman himself is beyond me fr ,, please go away" neil wymack already adopted you just haven't got the adoption papers yet I wonder if Janie Smalls is taller than Andrew Minyard "her best friend found her bleeding out" okay but - who is Janie's best friend is it one of foxes? what if it's seth ? Makes sense for it to be seth nvm friend explained to me that potential recruit means she was not at palmetto at the time " Typical of a fox " see riko would make amazing fox that's boy self destructive af in all of my head cannons

broadening my vocab nice nice Notorious for their tiny size i know it's bc there only 9 of them but i will stay believing it is bc everyone is short math time, had not seen kevin in 8 years neil is 18-19 now so he was 10 ok will remember Neil: i need to be very sneaky about my past wymack: do you need a pen? neil: i can't play for you because you signed kevin day wymack: ....... ??????? I LOVE HOW ANDREW WAY TO SAY HI IS FUCKING CRUSHING NEILS LUNGS AGAINST HIS SPINE ????? forgot how radioactive they are bc of how cute they are welp things align riko broke kevins hand andrew beat up neils internal organs for no reason at all! i love when all my ships are fucked up

assailant here is the word i keep using but spelling "assultant" lmao , man im learning so much ,, Andrew was blamed for kevins recent transfer" - kandrew is strong with this one ppl in universe just assumed kevin fell in love on first sight and they ARE RIGHT

i cant tell if im here to study cannon or english but like i know what those words mean but i don't know their definitions does that make sense? OH THIS IS SO CUTE I WILL DRAW THIS FUCK YES LETS GO he slammed motherfucker with his own racket dfghsdjfhgg Hernandez is literary the only normal person over the course of those 3 books andrew *assults someone as hello* wymack: Andrew's a bit raw on manners / my dude with this reading speed it will take me half year to go through those books but im having actually a lot of fun here neil: i already said i can not sign with you wymack:OK BUT YOU STILL NEED TO EXPLAIN WHY KEVIN DAY IS THE ISSUE HERE did kevin heard it lmoa i wonder if kevin heard the ,, do you need a pen - YoU sIgNeD KeViN DaY no wonder kevin was bitch to neil he thought the lil bitch hated him on the start lmao Andrew was only here because Kevin day never went anywhere alone here you go with your raven programming <3 YEARS SINCE THEY'D WATCHED NEIL'S FATHER CUT A SCREAMING MAN INTO HUNDRED BLOODY PIECES Kevin / Dark hair and green eyes, black number 2 neil saw that number and wanted to retch He and his adopted brother Riko Moriyama wrote the numbers one and two on their faces with markers, tracing them over and over anytime they started to fade. ok so were they drawing their own numbers? it sound like kevin was drawing his number too also this is the only mention i think of riko being reffered to as kevin,s brother in the books anyway I have case to make assuming kevin and riko were doing those numbers form young age pre 10 ... it just makes sense the system they use would be Arabic not roman i just can't imagine small kids knowing roman numbers when they were neglected in nest i think this is best case i can make for it. friend provided proof that in book the four tattoo neil get's is introduced as "4" so ok arabic canon moving on Riko nad Kevin were inducted to national court 1 year pre aftg story starts They were champions and neil was a jumble of lies and dead-ends on one hand it's funny how desperate they all are to sign neil on other hand i deeply believe they just see the desperation in his eyes, we know that neil wants it and those contact lenses do not hide it , they know that he wants to say yes, they are just confused about what the fuck makes him say no (kevin's bitchiness) or at least i would make this be the case if neil didn't just got assaulted and if they didn't literary phrased it as ,, we are not living without you signing this" like .. kidnapping with extra steps much ???? playing like he has everything to lose is not excuse for you all to harass this poor man like that OK HOLD ON A SECOND "He'd remember the scrimmage interrupted by that man's murder"

what man what murder the man nathan butchered for them? did nathan murdered someone during game?

WHAT HAPPENED

the moment kevin would start looking at him funny- he already is ngl im only on page 12 and i just hate neils mom i have no phrasing for it but the fact that every choice neil could make for his happiness is meet with ,, mom would be sooo mad" is really frustrating to read about... what is the point of even being alive for this boy fr???? i wonder if theres any specific place they would have been safe it? kind of would be fun to have au where neil and his mom go to japan and end up getting protection form yakuza F BOMB 1 F BOMB 2 COMBO fuck i love those characters so much okay like all of them It's about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you"

David "idealistic idiot" Wymack wymacks sincerity is what lets foxes trust him , wymack is the first adult in their lives that understands Savge yank of her hands in his hair here we go fuck he has so much guilt over trying to live a little this is so un fair "I'm sorry"he gasped out between wet coughs. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry"

[ihidemydemons20]

Since S1 I’ve shipped jiara and since ep1 from s1 I’ve had one major question and one major theory regarding them. JJ says to JB ‘I know that doors locked caused I’ve tried it before’ which brings up so many questions of when did he try with Kie, why did he try with Kie and what was her reaction to it that made him believe she wasn’t interested when clearly we can see there is and was interest there?

So I’ve had a head cannon for quite awhile now and since we may be getting flashbacks this season to the Kook Year I figured I’d share it cause it lines up.

Firstly it starts with Kie desperately wanting to fit in at Kook school, cause obviously who wants to be an outcast, but she hasn’t let go of the Pogues yet and she can’t be both and it’s hurting her, so jump to a Kook/Pogue party on the beach (same as we saw in S1) Kie is trying to join Sarah and the Kooks conversations but is still hesitant about what she can say to relate with them. The Pogues are trying to catch up with Kie but she’s been dodging them all night, they haven’t hung out in weeks and any texts just get a one word response so they’re trying to find her.

Meanwhile JJ has had a realisation, while Kie has been away he’s figured out how much he misses her, more than a friend, and it’s taken him weeks to build up the courage to try and tell her how he feels cause in classic JJ he doesn’t believe he’s worthy.

Kie, John B and Pope have some sort of blow up, her saying she can’t be friends with them anymore, I’m sure tons of misunderstandings and hurt feelings all around based on the fact that Kie can’t be two things at once and everyone (her parents) are expecting too much in regards to the Kook Academy. With Kies friendship with the Pogues destroyed she is finally going to approach and hang with Sarah (who in my mind has already extended the invitation but since Kie was still stuck on Pogue life the others in the group were not convinced).

As Kie heads to the Kooks JJ stops her and attempts to explain how he feels but Kie is distracted and not really listening, JJ is also explaining it poorly, stumbling over his words and maybe coming across as classic flirty Jk instead of sincere the way he wants to (from what we’ve seen of JJ he rarely gives his deep feelings which means it’s likely this is the first time he’s ever tried to tell a girl he actually likes them and doesn’t just want to sleep with them) Kie thinks JJ is just joking around and shuts him down, despite her having feelings for JJ for quite some time she never believed he’d genuinely like her cause he’s super cool and relaxed and she’s ‘part kook’ so how could he ever actually like her? Especially since it was highly likely JJ and Kie took the longest to be friends since JJ hates kooks and would have had preconceived ideas about Kie.

Kie doesn’t let JJ finish and he thinks that’s her rejecting him and ‘locking the door’ while she thinks he’s just looking for a good time and joking. Kie walks away to the Kooks and JJ goes back to the Pogues to hear Kie basically doesn’t want to be friends with them anymore (as per her fight with JB and Pope) which makes his sadness turn to anger and while Kie spends her whole year trying to be an alternative Kook version of herself, JJ let’s his anger fester at her abandonment (an act JJ would struggle much more than the others to forgive) which then leads to when Kie comes back after the mess with Sarah blows up in her face and Big John disappears to JJ being the last and hardest person to win over.

In my head cannon JJ forgives Kiara shortly before the show starts (which is why they seem to be close but hesitant around each other in s1 while the others have gotten over it, but then jiara are closer than anyone by s2, they’ve gotten back to normal) but by this point both of them still have feelings but JJ believes Kie could never like him back and has told him no and Kie believes JJ could never seriously like her either so they both ignore it (until s3 of course!)

Just my little head cannon of what JJ meant by trying the door before, also pretty sure based on context clues, Kie did freshman year in Kildare then did sophomore year in the Kook academy, s1 takes places in the final few weeks of summer before junior year(pretty sure they’re meant to be 16) s2 is when junior year starts and Kie is back in Kildare. The timeline is a little messy cause when we see them in s2 it’s kind of suggested a least a week or two has passed but later in the season it only takes JB and Sarah two days? To get back to OBX from the Bahamas so technically the gap between s1 and 2 should only be a few days max which means s1 had to take place in the last two weeks of summer break.

[renna-fyth]

Journal,

Well…look what the Hrothgar dragged in! Remember how I was just saying that I was freelancing to make ends meet? Well, before I could even leave Limsa Lominsa I found myself a potential job opportunity; and it was staring back at me from a familiar, friendly face.

It was Kynikos, Journal. Yes that Kyni! While watching the boats, waiting for a good time to head to the airship landing, the sounds of a surprised, gravelly voice reached my ears. Kyni was there searching for some cargo, and sounded just as surprised to see me as I was him.

I admit, each time we see each other it brings a different element to the table. Once nervous friends, then lovers, then my betrayal…then his. Speaking of which, I did not see Miss Fifi in tow with him. When I asked he gave a short, but simple answer to me that they had drifted apart. I know that feeling all too well as of late...Without hesitation the two of us were catching up like old friends again. Another element for the list, but a happy one to be sure.

As familiar feelings began gushing out, I found myself facing a potential job opportunity with Kyni, as he had finally decided to open his own company and was eager to have my skills. I tried to pretend like I wasn’t overly interested, as no discussion of lodgings or payments had been brought up yet. But this job here, it might be exactly what I was looking for, and with a person whom I trust my life with at home and on the battlefield.

It was a cool moment, seeing this new business Hrothgar whom I had never seen before. He had secured a company house, and was following a manifest to the latest payment he had secured for another completed job. My confidence in him as a leader began to soar as we approached the ship, before those feelings fell overboard, as my eyes landed on the accepted terms of his employment.

It was a cannon…a freakin cannon, Journal! Who the hell takes payment of a cannon for doing a job? Who needs one? He doesn’t even own a ship! With no plans to get the cannon to Mist, my head began to hurt as I knew I couldn’t just leave my friend here in town with this thing. Not only would it attract negative attention for his business, but it might also raise the eyebrows of the Yellow Jackets as he slowly trekked this thing through the wilds.

Quickly, we devised a plan to rent two chocobos with a cart, and roped the beasts together to drag the cannon back home. It was a grueling, difficult run; but together, the four of us made it safely back to Mist, and stationed (hopefully permanently) the cannon up in the yard. Kyni seemed quite proud having the cannon there. It was nice to see, even though the thing was pointed directly at a neighbor’s place. I’m sure they won’t be offended, right?

The inside of the company house was scarce, though it did come equipped with a few familiar faces. Alongside the empty liquor bottles, a few couches, and a pool table were Kyni’s brothers. It was good to see them both again. I don’t think I’ve seen them since Summerford. Wow…that feels like so long ago…

The company house was definitely in need a woman’s touch, so I’ve stayed on without staying on for the past week. We’ve managed to procure a second-hand meeting table, as well as stools, chairs, and even some basic supplies. I dare say the cottage might now be ready to house mercenaries from all walks of life. Hopefully none of them have a pollen allergy though…I might have over did it with the plants.

Tonight, I need to decide if this is going to be a permanent job for me, or if I should keep moving and just do what has been working for me. It can’t be by chance that I’ve found my way home though…well to A home. I should probably just accept under the condition I can come and go as I need. Yes, that would be best. I’ll tell Kyni in the morning.

Goodnight

[evilvvithin]

Track you down pt. 7

Pairing: yautja (feral) x f!reader 

Warnings: stripping| implied sex | single period mention | angst

Summary: Both you and your Yautja are met with a challenge from the elders, but there’s also something else in the air…

Words: 3,774

Notes: Apologizing for this chapter taking so long as I've been quite busy and had troubles writing it overall. This is two chapters put into a big final one. I decided to leave this story be as I felt that forcing myself just to come up with some plot is not good at all for the quality of the fic. The story is nice and finished at this point and while there definetly can be more to it (the ending is open), it's fine on it's own as it is so I'm ending it in its best moment. That being said, there's a possibility of a “Aftermath” chapter coming in the future.

AO3 | OTHER CHAPTERS

TAGS: @looseratinthegarage @life-or-something-like-it @celebrain @themology @ajarofpickledtears

~

If you had to use one word to describe your first experiences with the new helmet, it would be “disorienting”. All the different visions that took over your normal sight made you confused, but not for long. Within an hour or less you knew exactly how to use the helmet effectively and what to look for with each vision. Heat vision made hunting too easy for you to the point you didn't enjoy it as much anymore. The animal couldn't hide nor escape you, especially when you target it and send projectiles on it using your shoulder cannon. Shoulder cannon, yes. That thing, as you soon realized, was too heavy to just carry around. Your mate never had an issue with it, but he was two times the size of you. He offered to shrink the shoulder weapon, or transfer it to something similar but wrist or arm equipped. You refused, shoulder cannon was the official reward for "blooding" and you didn't want any shortcuts or easier stuff. Eventually I'll get used to it and won't even know it sits on my shoulder.

"Let's go," your mate shouted your way.

You blinked and followed him inside the ship. Spaced out, you stood in front of the doors for god knows how long  just staring at the dark green blood pools on the ground. It was the only thing left from the encounter now, your mate got rid of the bodies, or rather what was left of them, when you were resting inside the ship after the hunt. 

You felt the whole ship vibrate and heard metal screeching. It was time to meet his tribe mates and the elders, as he said before. You had an uneasy feeling about it all, but as long as you were with your yautja, nothing was going to happen to you. 

Right? 

You weren't scared of getting hurt or anything like that. You were just an ooman, what if they don't accept you? Laugh at you? What if they thought you are simply not worth it even when you proved yourself?

You walked towards the main control panel and stood behind your mate. There was no point in thinking about what was going to happen. It wasn't happening yet. Placing your hands on his shoulders, he purred slightly and you focused on the fascinating view outside as the ship flew towards the blinding sun. 

Couple hours later you arrived. You expected some Yautja city, village, anything but all you saw in front of you was an enormous ship. Its size was comparable to a small planet. Once inside, you felt the weight of thousands of eyes on you. All the other yautjas inside the ship stared at you, their clicking noises filling up your ears. Thanks to spending so much time with your yautja, you knew this kind of clicking meant confusion. 

Meeting the leaders of your mates clan wasn't as scary as you thought. They weren't any giant monsters as you thought, you were met with an ordinary yautjas just like your mate. Only differences you noticed were that their dreadlocks were lighter and one of them had his dreads almost white. You assumed he must've been the oldest, the leader of the leaders. They had a bunch of weapons you've never seen before and a lot of small trophies hung all over their necks and torsos to show their status and experience. Glued to your mates side, you observed them talking in their language and staring at you repeatedly from head to toes. You didn't understand anything they were saying but by their body language and the tone of their voices you knew this whole meeting was in a friendly enough spirit. When you caught the words "bad blood", the yautja leaders looked at you again,  nodding their heads. He must've been telling them about the fight, about how you defeated one of them. 

After a while, the yautja with almost white dreads  walked up to you and grabbed a few of your hair, saying something to the other elders. Your mate replied something and shook his head. You had no idea what was going on or what they talked about at all but you started to feel somehow uneasy. Your mate wrapped his arm around your shoulders. The elders kept chirping to each other, discussing something while you two waited. You looked up to your mate and he nodded his head at you as if he knew what was on your mind. 

Are we leaving soon? 

When they were finished with their discussion, the leader walked up to and reached his hand to you. There was a small necklace with a skull attached to it, polished and whitened to the point it was sharply reflecting any light back. It looked like a bird skull but you could see some sharp teeth on it.

"For you," your mate said when he noticed you were not accepting it right away.

You grabbed the skull and thanked the leader yautja in your language. He acknowledged your answer by a nod and slowly walked back to the other ones. You felt your yautja pushing into your back as a sign to start walking and so you did. 

Without a single word you two walked all the way back to your resting ship. 

"What is that?" You asked as soon as you were inside, observing the skull more. 

"Gift out of respect," he replied. "Killing one of us is not an easy task even for other yautjas, especially when it comes to… 'those'. When an ooman does it, it certainly deserves some respect." 

Wow, you said in your mind and put the necklace over your head, letting the skull rest on your chest. It was the perfect size and length for you. Your mate pleasantly tilted his head. 

"What were you talking about back there?" You asked. 

He walked away towards the main control panel of your ship, not answering for a while.

"They want to hunt," he finally said and pushed some buttons. 

"Hunt?" You got so excited at the word it almost scared you. "I mean, what hunt?" You repeated the question in a calmer voice.

"Special hunts we sometimes have to do," he paused. "On Earth."

You swallowed hard, your throat felt dry suddenly. Hunting animals for food and defeating yautja in self defense was one thing, but hunting down and killing humans?

"Why?"

"They need good warriors to retrieve our technology after an unsuccessful hunt," he replied. 

Good warriors?

"You killed bad blood, you are more than a good warrior in their eyes."

"We are going right now?"

"Tomorrow."

~

The rumbling of the ship's engine woke you up. Your dog peacefully rested on your chest. You decided to keep lying, and didn't want to wake him up. 

Am I really gonna do this? Your head was full of thoughts. Do I even have a choice? You stared blankly into the ceiling. Earth never really gave me anything good, really. Fuck it. You looked back at your dog. Except you, of course, you scratched his head gently. 

All the time away from your old life, you barely felt any connection to it or the people you knew. Even your family. You only missed your father a little, but he was gone from your life longer than you were away from Earth. Yet you still felt nauseous imagining actually killing someone, someone like you. Not to mention taking any kind of trophy off of them. 

Your dog whined suddenly and licked your face panicky.

"Oh. Bad dreams, sweetheart?" You hugged him tightly and buried your face in his fur. 

"We're close." 

You heard your mates words coming from the main panel. You had to get up and prepare for whatever was ahead of you. When you joined him, you realized the ship rumbling wasn't your ship, but another one which was in front of you. The ship of elders. Your mate pointed to the table across the room, under his gear wall. 

"I prepared something for you there," he said and watched you check the stuff out. 

He shrunk the gear to fit you and must've made some pieces custom from scratch. When did he find the time to do it? First thing that caught your eye was some sort of metal skirt. It looked like shirt armor that knights used to wear in medieval times, but this weighed nothing, yet it was strong. You were sure nothing could pierce that, definitely not any human weapons. Only thing that could damage this was probably Yautjas weapons and technology. 

You felt your mate walk behind you. Once he got right at your back, you felt him sniffing you. 

"You smell good now for some reason," he purred into your ear and inhaled your scent again.

"That's because I'm nervous," you tried to laugh it off. 

You were sweating nervously because of the upcoming events. You weren't sure how he'd think it's a good smell, but his smell was different to yours afterall.

"It's not quite that," he said and inhaled again, confused why you smell the way you do. 

You were confused even more than him.

"I'm gonna try it on."

With those words you started to unbutton your shirt and grabbed the chest piece from the table. Your mate gave you some space by making one single step away and now he stood there watching you, his mandibles twitching. 

"Enjoying it?" You asked as you clearly knew what he was thinking. 

You removed your shirt with slow, passionate movements. Running your hands down your own body and curves. Grabbing your helmet, you activated heat vision and looked at him through it seeing all his lower area heated up. Couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. 

"Keep laughing," he purred out in a deep voice. "Try the armor, slowly." 

Keeping your helmet on, you slid down your pants, making sure your movement is slow enough. You paused at your ass, squeezing your ass cheeks and wiggling them as you pulled the pants down over them. His clicking noise filled the room. 

This is silly, you laughed in your head, but at least I'm not sweating from nervousness anymore.

You put on the skirt and gauntlets, fixing both tight enough so they don't move nor hurt. The whole armor weighed nothing to your surprise, it felt like you were naked. Your mate tilted his head seeing you in full armor and the heat in his lower body grew.

"You look good with nothing on," he twitched his mandible, "but this is almost better."

You cursed at the fact there wasn't any mirror or anything like that. He grabbed your waist and turned you around, almost like a dance attempt. Pulling you closer to him, he ran his hands down to your ass and rested them there. 

"We don't have time," he hissed out annoyedly. 

You heard him deeply inhale your scent again and you pulled away your mask. You couldn't smell anything unusual but he clearly seemed amazed. He couldn't tell what it was, he smelled it before but couldn't remember. 

"How's it gonna be? The hunt?" You asked and walked towards the main panel, staring out the window into the distance.

"There will be a group of us. We split when we land and meet up again later."

"Each on their own?"

"We go in pairs," he looked down at you. "You and I are gonna have fun together."

For some reason it didn't make you less nervous. You felt something was off about this whole Earth trip and you noticed before already that your mate is not so eager about it either. 

Grabbing your arm, your mate tapped on your wrist armor and you heard a silent whoosh. You had your own cloak device now. Three more Yautja duos were standing around you, cloaking themselves as well and leaving in different directions. You inhaled deeply, looking down at the town you knew so well. It wasn't your hometown, but its neighbor town. You didn't miss Earth at all, surprisingly. All you felt was adrenaline for the hunt and sweaty palms from nervousness. 

Hmpf.

You followed your mate throughout a small dark street, constantly thinking about what the leader Yautjas were telling you all before. Your mate didn't share and you didn't want to ask, if it was important he'd told you, right? Need to learn the language more frequently to learn it all quickly, you said to yourself.

He grabbed your arm to make you stop moving and you noticed a person coming your way. You didn't even breathe as the person walked just an inch from you, not noticing the presence of you two at all. Your eyes wide open, not able to believe it worked so easily and smoothly. 

"The more silent and invisible we are, the better," your mate said silently. 

"I thought we were on a hunt?" 

"We are, but our prey is bigger than these ordinary oomans."

The person wasn't worth the time. It wasn't worthy prey at all for him. You knew it but you rather thought about it as he let the person be because he was innocent and unarmed. You decided to just wait and see what he meant exactly by bigger prey, following your Yautja into another, even darker street. 

The whole time you believed you landed near your hometown. The surroundings and streets looked so familiar to you, even the forest you were just walking through looked exactly like the one you knew. Soon enough you were proven wrong. You stopped in front of barely visible metal doors, hiding an underground sewer tunnel behind them. 

This definitely wasn't in the forest where I used to go with my dog, you thought. 

You didn't mind the smell at all and followed your mate. You felt careless, untouchable by his side. It wasn't a good thing, but you were happy to not feel nervous as before.

"How did you know about this?" You asked after a while. 

"Experience," he replied shortly. 

He's been here already, you finished the sentence for him in your head.

The sound of the busy city disappeared and all you could hear was the dirty water sploshing with every step you took and cold wind running through the sewers. It was fascinating to see the water react to your steps, without seeing your feet. You could have switched your helmet vision and see the heat of your body, but you wanted to keep your sight clear as long as possible. Your heart was pounding quicker than usual as you were ready for anything happening any second. Feeling the cold wind on your hot skin, you shivered slightly. 

Before you could've asked how long the tunnel is, you noticed the stars reflecting in the water in front of you, meaning the sewers ended there. Inhaling the fresh cold air which was stronger now, you bumped into your mate's arm raised in front of you.

"Wh-" you wanted to ask but he immediately shushed you with a hiss.

No matter how hard you tried, you didn't recognize anything unusual. The same exact wind, the same exact smell, the same exact noises. Activating your helmet didn't show anything either. You kept silent till your mate finally lowered his arm and uncloaked. You followed his decision and uncloaked right after. 

"Wave vision," he said finally.

You only turned on heat vision before, believing it's the ultimate vision to always show you anything hidden. Everything generates heat, afterall. Once you turned the vision showing vibrations on, be it noise or movement, you saw indicators of movement coming from in front of you. There were at least a hundred of them, it was hard to tell as they were overlapping. 

"Woah, what are all those?" You whispered. 

"Majority of what you see are heartbeats," he replied in a low voice.

"Heartbeats? There's so many…"

"It's your government. They knew we were coming."

You looked at him, but weren't even surprised by his reply at all. This is what he meant by bigger prey. It made sense, who else would have yautja technology? 

"Are you saying all these are people?"

He nodded in reply. 

"The others will get here soon. We were more likely being tracked since our arrival or right after. Splitting up is always a good time waste for them."

"So," you sighed. "We will just wait here for them?"

Your mate went silent for a long time, occasionally clicking his mandibles. He seemed stressed, fighting something inside his head. 

"Let's go back to our ship," he finally said and started to walk back into the sewer.

"We can just leave it?" You blinked your eyes surprised. "I thought we had to do something?"

"We can't just leave like this, no. It's against the honor code," his head was turned down as he was looking into the ground.

"That means… that's like doing something illegal. We should go hack. What if the mission fails because they had 2 hunters less?" 

He remained silent for a while.

"They will be fine."

"But why-"

"It's too dangerous."

"Dangerous? What do you m-"

"Dangerous for you."

"I'm -"

You wanted to argue and say you should go back, but deep inside you were celebrating. The amount of heartbeats was terrifying and who knows how many more of them were inside. You knew this was probably nothing for your mate, specifically if he would go in with other Yautjas. 

He was walking silently next to you, occasionally making the typical silent clicking noise. Lost in his own thoughts, he was walking faster and faster.

"What's gonna happen? We didn't listen to the leaders," you asked. 

"Won't be seeing them, anyone. Let's get to our ship and go away." He replied. 

"Doesn't it mean we broke -"

He put a finger to his helmet to shhhh you. He learnt this from you. Getting back to ship unseen and unheard was the best thing you could do now, except going back to finish the mission. 

You knew what this meant but still wanted to hear a clear answer. Are we bad blood now? We are not as bad as bad bloods… but we broke the rules.

The thought of you two becoming prey for other Yautjas sent a shiver down your spine. The government building and army in front of it didn't seem so bad suddenly. Or did it? Your fellow humans didn’t know anything about fairness, especially in a fight. 

~

Once inside your ship, you put away your helmet and some pieces of your armor you were not needing. Your mate immediately started the engine. 

“Can we still return to the hunt?” You asked while undressing. 

“The killing already started,” he hissed out.

“We are in bigger danger now aren’t we?”

“We are in danger, but danger that can be easily avoided. We go far away and hide for a while.” 

He was right, if the elders wanted to send someone to hunt you down, they’d have to search countless planets and places in space. Like looking for a needle in hay. On the other hand, you also thought that maybe they wouldn’t really bother, or at least that won’t bother too much. There were way worse bad bloods and crimes done against their code of honor. You wanted to believe the thought, it was calming you down. 

Your dog was whining in a corner, sensing something wasn’t okay. You walked to him and massaged his chest in an attempt to calm him down. It always worked, he loved getting his chest rubbed. The engine shook with the whole ship when it elevated, hovering above the ground for a while. You saw your mate pressing all kinds of buttons, setting a location you can go towards. Grabbing a piece of meat that was stored for your dog, you gave it to him and joined your mate. None of you said anything, but both of you agreed to not talk about what happened anymore. At least for a while. When you stopped behind his back, you saw a big red screen floating above the main panel with dots and lines. One of the dots carried a name, “Earth”. You saw him zooming out and touching another small dot. It looked like it was right next to Earth on the screen, but in reality it was probably years of flying away even with this ship. He let out a satisfied purr when the ship moved and zipped towards the location he just set.

“We have peace for a while,” he said and turned to you. 

He was inhaling deeply, sniffing you again. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked.

You weren’t sweating anymore this time nor were you nervous, what could he be smelling? You sniffed yourself to make sure, but smelled nothing. 

“Wrong? Nothing is wrong,” he said and kept sniffing, twirling his mandibles. Whatever he was inhaling, he liked it a lot. “You should be asking what’s good.”

With those words, he pulled you closer and placed a large hand on your lower belly area. Your eyes widened as you realized what this could mean. It’s impossible. 

Your mate noticed your shocked look and pointed to his helmet. 

“It shows your heartbeat as well, even the others inside of you.” 

You wanted to see for yourself to truly believe everything he was saying, but he was holding you firmly in place. 

This is wrong, whatever he saw couldn’t be a… child. Yautja and humans, no. 

“There were few cases of offsprings of our kind,” he said, rubbing your belly. 

Thinking about it, you realized you didn’t have your period… for too long. You weren’t counting days nor weeks, but you’ve spent quite some time with your yautja already. If this all was true,  carrying an offspring would change your hormones and smell. So that’s what he was smelling the whole time.

You weren’t able to say anything as you couldn't process what you just heard yet. There’s just no way… Your mate suddenly picked you up and threw you over his shoulder, carrying you towards the table with equipment. 

“Should celebrate while he can,” he said with a low voice as he seated you down at the edge. 

Immediately forgetting what you’ve just heard and how you didn’t join the mission the second he placed his hand back to your abdomen, sliding down slowly. 

There is no one following us, nor threatening. No need to be worried now, you said to yourself and gave in to the overwhelming feeling of pleasure his hand was creating between your legs. 

[xoxoavenger]

Crazy

pairing: Luke Skywalker x reader

summary: Y/N goes a little crazy when Luke doesn't return from his patrol, and she definitely outs their secret relationship.

word count: 3624

warnings: cannon typical injury

masterlist

"Do you have to go?" Y/N asked, grabbing Luke's arm before he slipped out of the bed.

"If I don't go now, people will get suspicious and come looking for me." Luke kissed her neck, and she rolled onto her back.

"I'm sorry you're so popular, but that's not my fault." Y/N said, eyes still closed and still hanging onto him.

"Y/N," Luke whined, falling back into bed with her as she pulled at him.

"I think you're sick today." Y/N said, placing her arms around him and making him as close as he could be to her.

"There will still be people looking for me. I have to go." Luke kissed her head, untangling himself from her. "You should probably get up too, Y/N." Luke began putting on the extensive layers he had to have on in order to not freeze on this ice planet.

"I don't want to." She mumbled, and he rolled his eyes fondly at her.

"Come on." Luke pulled her up, and she finally opened her eyes. Luke had two layers out of the five he normally put on for missions, and Y/N pouted.

"Why did you put your clothes on?" She asked, and Luke let out a small laugh.

"Because it's cold. You need to put your clothes on too." Luke grabbed Y/N's long sleeved under shirt, and she lifted her arms up so he could put it over her. "Are you ready to go to work today?" Luke asked, getting dressed himself after helping Y/N.

"No." She muttered, wiping her eyes. "Can you do my hair?" Y/N asked, and Luke smiled at her.

"I can't do it as well as Leia does, Y/N. You know that." Luke said, but he still moved behind Y/N and began braiding her hair in two sections. "Here's your hat, love." Luke put the hat on Y/N, and she smiled at him.

"Be careful." She said, leaning on her tip toes to kiss him. He kissed back, lips warm against her cold body.

"I'm always careful." He smirked as they parted.

"Keep talking like that and you'll sound like Han." Y/N smirked, and Luke huffed out a breath. "I'm serious, Luke. I don't know what I'd do without you." She placed her hands on his chest, wishing he would be closer to her than the millions of layers between them to keep them warm.

"I know. You'd go crazier than you already are, Y/N." Luke smiled, hands rubbing his hands up and down her hips.

"Stop it!" Y/N whined, hitting his chest.

"I love you." Luke said, bringing her close.

"I thought you had to leave." Y/N rested her head on his chest.

"I do." He kissed her forehead.

"I love you too." Y/N kissed Luke one more time before the separated and made their way to their respective jobs.

~

"Han? Where's Luke?" Y/N asked as soon as Han walked into the control room. She knew Luke hadn't checked in yet, and he never forgets.

"He's checking out a meteorite that hit near him." Han answered.

"Alone?"

"With all the meteor activity in this system, it's going to be difficult to spot approaching ships." Y/N's question was disregarded, and she felt her heart race. Something wasn't right.

"General, I got to leave. I can't stay anymore." Han said, and Y/N looked over at Leia. She knew the princess had feelings for the captain, even if she would never admit it out loud.

"What?" Leia turned to see Y/N staring at her.

"Tell him how you feel, Leia! You don't really want him to leave, do you?" Y/N asked, and Liea turned to look at Han again, who was still talking to the General.

"When are you going to tell Luke how you feel, Y/N?" Leia whispered, and Y/N rolled her eyes. Luke and her were still new at the whole love thing, so no one knew about what happened behind closed doors.

"Well, Your Highness, guess this is it." Han said, and Y/N and Leia turned to see Han now behind them.

"That's right." Leia nodded.

"We hate to see you go, Han." Y/N said, and Han shoved her slightly.

"Don't tell me things you don't mean." He smirked, before looking at Leia. "Well, don't get all mushy on me, Princess. So long." And then Han was out the door. Leia and Y/N shared a look before Liea was after him, leaving Y/N to wonder where Luke was.

~

"Han!" Y/N yelled, making the man stand up and move from under his ship.

"What now?" He asked, and Y/N shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts.

"Where's Luke?" She asked, and Han's face immediately changed to concern.

"What do you mean?"

"He hasn't come back yet. Leia and I don't know where he is, and the temperature is starting to drop and-"

"Hold on, honey. I don't know where he is." Han informed her.

"Nobody knows where he is." C-3PO informed them, and Y/N and Han turned to see the gold machine standing beside them.

"Nobody?" Y/N muttered.

"What do you mean, nobody knows?" Han asked, and Y/N's heart picked up its pace as if she was sprinting. "Deck Officer!" Han was yelling before 3PO could speak.

"Excuse me, sir, might I-"

"Shut it, 3PO." Y/N mumbled, following Han.

"Do you know where Commander Skywalker is?" Han asked.

"I haven't seen him." Y/N shut her eyes as the man spoke, trying to think of the best case scenario as stomach churned.

"Is it possible he came in through the south entrance?" Y/N asked, eyes still closed.

"Yes."

"It's possible? Why don't you go find out? It's getting dark out there." Han commanded.

"Yes, sir." The man responded, and it was quiet until Y/N felt hands on her shoulders.

"Y/N?" Han's voice cut through her thoughts, and she opened her eyes. "Are you alright? You're breathing really heavily." Han said, and Y/N nodded, although her breath intake increased.

"Hey, calm down. You're going to make yourself pass out." Han put a gloved hand on her face, and Y/N didn't react. "You probably need some sleep, I'm guessing. Are you tired?" Han had no idea what he was doing, but Luke's best friend was freaking out and normally he dealt with this sort of stuff.

"We need to find Luke." Y/N muttered, suddenly grabbing a helmet and scarf. She was putting them on, glassy look in her eyes.

"You need to stay here, Y/N." Han said, hands still on her shoulders. "Are you okay? You're shaking." Han was staring at Y/N, concerned. She was blinking rapidly and shaking behind the eye shield.

"I'm just cold. Come on, we need to find Luke." Y/N said, putting the helmet on.

"No, I'm going to find Luke. You're going to stay here." Han barely gave her time to finish her sentence. She began to walk away and he grabbed her, pulling her back. "Y/N, seriously. You're not going."

"Let go of me, Han, or I swear to-

"Stop fighting! You're not going!" Han yelled, and Y/N struggled in his arms weakly.

"I have to go! I have to help him!" Y/N yelled, but Han held onto her tightly.

"You can help him by staying here and working in the command center." He then moved to hug her, and she started to cry in his arms.

"Save him, please." She cried to him, and Han felt his heart break. Although Luke and Y/N never said anything about their relationship, Han knew there was something going on.

"I will. I promise."

~

"Sir, all the patrols are in." Y/N and Leia turned to hear the conversation between the two men.

"Still no-" Y/N turned her head as the man cut himself off, the pair obviously not wanting to say more because Leia and herself were there. "Still no contact from Skywalker or Solo." The man said quieter, and Leia grabbed Y/N's arm.

"Mistress Leia, Mistress Y/N, R2 says he's been quite unable to pick up any signals, although he does admit that his own range is far too weak to abandon all hope." 3PO informed them, and Y/N took a deep breath, wishing her emotions away.

"Your highness, there's nothing more we can do tonight." One of the men said to Leia, and Y/N turned her back to them, trying to clear her mind. It was going to be very cold at night, and Y/N knew it would be hard to survive.

"The shield doors must be closed."

"What?" Y/N cried out, spinning to face them.

"Y/N, we can't do anything until morning." Leia said, pain in her voice.

"They're going to freeze out there!" Y/N cried, and she heard Chewy let out a growl.

"Close the doors." Leia said, and Y/N felt her world collapse in on her, head spinning.

"He's going to die." Y/N mumbled, tears spilling out of her eyes. She looked to Leia, who had a sad frown on her face.

"We don't know that. Han and Luke are strong, Y/N, they can do this." Leia tried to comfort her, but Y/N just shook her head as more tears went tumbling down her cheeks. Just as she was about to fall, to let her body go numb, Chewy grabbed onto her, turning her to him and wrapping his long arms around her as she cried into his fur.

"R2 says the chances of survival are 725 to one." 3PO said, and then the loud clash of the door closing sounded, causing Y/N to cry out. 3PO kept talking, but Y/N drowned him out, sobbing into Chewbacca.

"I'm sure Luke and Han will be back in the morning." Leia's hand was at her back, and Y/N turned her face to see the princess, still holding tight to Chewy.

~

She slept the worst she has ever slept in her entire life, tossing and turning, her eyes not wanting to stay closed. Still, when she woke up, she was expecting to be in Luke's arms. Instead, she woke up next to a furball, and the pain of yesterday's events came crashing down. Y/N picked herself up, wiping a hand over her face. Her head was spinning, and her chest was hurting from her heart beating out of her chest for so long. She came out of the Millennium Falcon, which she barely remembers falling stumbling in and falling asleep, to see Leia pacing in the hanger.

"Did you even sleep?" Y/N asked, pulling her sleeves down.

"Did you?" Leia looked to Y/N, seeing the bags under her eyes, and then back to the open door. "They sent the rescue team out a little while ago. I'm waiting for word that they found them." Leia said over the irrelevant chatter of the rescue team.

"Hopefully they find something more than just frozen bodies." Y/N said, and Leia frowned at her.

"Have hope, Y/N. I'm sure they'll be okay." Leia put a hand on her shoulder, and Y/N smiled at her.

"Echo Base, this is Rouge Two. I've found them. Repeat, I've found them." Came through the comm, and Y/N and Leia both let out a sigh of relief, hugging each other. Y/N almost felt herself fall as her knees buckled, but Leia righted her.

Y/N and Leia awaited the plane that would be carrying Han and Luke, and Y/N rushed over to it as soon as they landed. Luke was being pushed on a medic carrier, and Y/N followed with it. He was pale, a black eye and cuts adorning his face. Y/N pushed the hair out of his face, feeling his cold skin.

"We need to get him into a bacta tank." Someone said, and Y/N looked up.

"Will he be okay?" Y/N asked, and someone in front of her stopped, making her stop. Luke kept going, and Y/N tried to get around the medic.

"He'll be fine, Ma'am. He will need to spend at least ten hours in the bacta tank, which is a hard sight to see. Are you sure you want to stay with him?" The man asked, and Y/N furrowed her brows in anger.

"Get out of my way." She said, pushing past him and running to keep up with Luke. She watched as he was hooked up to a breathing tube, and then stripped down. The droids slipped a machine over his arms before lifting him into the tank. Y/N made her way forwards toward the tank, placing her hands on the glass as she looked at Luke. He was completely unconscious, and every so often a droid attached to the tank would shock him, causing his back to arch and his body to tense.

Y/N stayed at the tank for twelve hours, sitting next to and leaning on it while watching Luke. She needed to make sure he was okay.

"You should get some sleep. He'll be pulled out soon." Han said, putting a hand on Y/N's shoulder. Han and Leia had been in and out with C-3PO and R2-D2, but Y/N had stayed the entire time, only eating a small portion of the food they had brought.

"I'm okay." Y/N said, smiling up at Han and wiping a hand across her face. He grimaced, and Y/N looked up at Luke, wishing he could just be close to her. Watching him float in the tank lifelessly was unsettling, and all she wanted to do was cuddle with him for an entire solstice.

"You need to sleep at some point. Chewy told me you barley slept on the Falcon last night, and it's getting late." Han told her, and Y/N looked back to him

"Exactly. I slept last night so I'm fine." Y/N told him.

"You need to eat and sleep, and then Luke will be out." Han pushed, and Y/N stood up.

"Why do you care? You were going to leave anyway." Y/N crossed her arms, and Han looked almost hurt.

"I was just trying to help you. Don't want you looking like more of a mess than normal when he comes out." Han said, and Y/N punched his shoulder.

"That's for leaving me here." Y/N seethed, and Han rolled his eyes.

"You would have died out there in your state. I was doing you a favor." He explained, and Y/N pushed Han. It wasn't hard, since she was so weak, but it still angered Han.

"Doing me a favor? I was trying to save him and you stopped me."

"You were going crazy, Y/N! You can't blame me for not taking you." He said, and Y/N frowned.

"I also promised Luke I wouldn't put you in danger if he were to go missing." Han said softly, and Y/N looked to her unconscious lover.

"Why?" She whispered, placing a hand on the tank.

"He loved you, ya know."

"Yeah, I do." Y/N let a tear slip out of her eye, and Han wiped it away.

"He'll be okay." He said, bringing Y/N into a side hug.

"I know, but I just want him to be okay now." She mumbled, placing her other hand on the tank, leaning against it.

"Will you rest now?" Han asked, hoping he'd get to her after that talk.

"I'm okay here." Y/N said, and Han sighed, but left to sleep anyway.

~

"Mistress Y/N?" Y/N woke up to 3PO's voice, and she looked around to realize she was still in the room they were keeping Luke in. She sat up, looking up to see Luke still floating in the tank. "They're taking Master Luke out now." 3PO informed her, and she stood to see Han and Leia also in the room. The droid detached from the tank, and Y/N stood with the others to watch Luke be lifted out of the tank. They set him on a bed, then toweled him down. They put new clothes on him and then whisked him away, Y/N in tow. Leia and Han met her on the way, and the three of them followed the bed until a droid stopped them.

"No humans allowed until Commander Skywalker is awake." The droid said, and Y/N scowled.

"I'm his girlfriend." Y/N explained.

"Doesn't matter. Commander Skywalker needs his rest." The droid responded.

"Well how long is that gonna take?" Han stepped up, defending Y/N.

"A least a few hours."

"What? No, I want to see him now." Y/N said, trying to get past the droid. It didn't budge.

"I'm afraid you can't. Please go to your room, and we will have you notified when he wakes."

"No! I'm going to be with him in there." Y/N tried to push the droid away, but he did nothing.

"Move, you big bag of bolts!" She cried, but the droid did not let her through.

"Y/N, it'll probably be good for you to get some sleep." Leia put a hand on her shoulder, but Y/N shrugged it off.

"I don't want sleep, I want to see him!" She yelled, but the droid still stood in her way. "I swear to the Imperial Army I will rip you apart piece by piece if you don't let me through." Y/N threatened, however the droid seemed uninterested.

"We'll get clearance from the General. This isn't the hill you want to die on." Leia said, and Y/N turned to her. She looked at Leia, and then at Han, and suddenly she deflated.

"I just want to be with him. Make sure he's okay." She said, crying for what seemed like the millionth time. Leia wrapped her up in a hug, and she let out a breath against her.

"He'll be okay. He's in good hands. You should get some rest." Leia pulled away and winked, and Y/N just nodded. It appeared that Leia had a plan, and knowing her it was probably a good one.

"We're terribly sorry about that." 3PO said as they walked away, and once they turned the corner, Leia began to talk.

"We're sneaking you in here tonight." She mumbled, and the group continued walking.

"How?" Y/N asked, looking at Leia, but she was looking straight ahead,

"It's cold enough at night that there aren't many alive rebels that work in the medical wing, and droids are charging." Leia explained, still looking ahead as they began walking.

"I'll come get you from your room in two hours." Leia finished as they came up to Y/N's room. She honestly almost forgot she had her own room, spending so much time in Luke's.

"Thank you." Y/N smiled at them both, hugged Leia and then went to her room.

~

She couldn't sleep. She knew Luke was perfectly fine, but not being able to see and feel him made her on edge. She almost fainted at the knock on her door. Y/N opened it way to eagerly, smiling at Leia.

It was cold in the hallways, since it was night now. Y/N shivered as she walked through the empty space, making her way slowly to where Luke was.

"Do you know which room he's in?" Y/N asked, coming up upon the many doors leading to rooms.

"While you were throwing your tantrum, I was watching to see which room they put him in." Leia smirked, opening the door to her right. Y/N smiled, hugged Leia, and then quickly went into the room.

"Oh, Luke." Y/N mumbled, seeing Luke laying on the bed asleep. His hair covered his closed eyes partially, and his skin was still pale, making his injuries seem worse. She pushed herself onto his bed, laying down next to him. "You dumbass." Y/N whispered, clinging to him. His body was warm, and Y/N kissed his cheek, hand going to rest on his chest and leg wrapped around him.

Finally, finally, she fell into a peaceful sleep.

~

"You're not supposed to be here." Y/N woke to the stupid droids voice, and she sat up.

"I'm sorry." Y/N mumbled, moving from Luke. She looked at him, and he was still sleeping. She felt like she hadn't gotten any sleep, and she realized she hadn't been asleep for long.

"I'm going to ask you to leave, Ma'am." The droid said, and Y/N let a little breath out.

"It's fine, Med. You can go to your next patient." A human said at the door, and Y/N smiled slightly.

"Thank you." She said to the man at the door, who nodded and turned the light off.

~

Lips on hers. That's what she finally woke up to.

Chapped, bruised, swollen lips, but they most definitely belonged to the one and only Luke Skywalker.

Y/N opened her eyes, pushing Luke away lightly. She was still in his bed in the medic wing, and when she sat up, she noticed Han, Leia, Chewy, 3PO and R2 were also in the room. Y/N blushed, and Luke brought her closer.

"What happened?" Y/N asked, and Luke shook his head, cuddling closer to her.

"I got taken by a snow monster, and it was really cold." Luke mumbled, and Y/N rolled her eyes, holding him close as well.

"Well, it seems you two get along very well. When did this happen?" Han asked, and Y/N sunk farther into the bed.

"A lot of things happen behind your back, Han." Luke said smugly, and Y/N smiled.

"It's cute that you think this was behind my back."

"I'm glad you're okay." Y/N said, looking up at Luke and pretending Han hadn't just spoke.

"I am too. I heard you went crazy and threw a tantrum without me." Luke smirked, and Y/N hit his chest, beginning to move away. "It's kinda cute." Luke said, pulling Y/N closer to him.

"You're about to die again, Commander Skywalker." Y/N threatened, and Luke rolled his eyes and brought her close up to him.

"I'm so glad you're not already crazy."

[deaconusdelirium]

Um so I don't actually know how to submit a request so, I've never done it before, but I hope this is right.

So I read this enemies to lovers with Tech where the reader is the Batch's new mechanic/medic/pilot (y'know something like that) and Tech is constantly trying to outsmart the reader and is kinda rude to her. So I am requesting either that or Tech and reader are already together and Tech makes a comment that hurts the readers feelings but Tech doesn't understand why she's upset cause he was merely stating "factual evidence". Also can the reader be female or like no gender. I hope I did this right.

Time will tell

(Tech X F!Reader)

Oh yeah! Either way is good, but I prefer taking requests in DM’s. I’m originally from a different writing platform and I took requests directly in messages, but send in an ask like this is good too. I don’t mind either way. That goes for everyone else who doesn’t know how to send in a request!^^

I love the first one, and I have a little something for that

———

“And that’s… Tech” Hunter sounded disappointed as he seen his brother not only did not look up, but didn’t say anything as he introduced you to your new team, Tech just gave a small wave without looking up and walking off. “He’s a busy guy, I presume” you spoke, watching ‘Tech’ walk off and into their ship. “You’ll get use to him, he’s not all that bad. The worse he could do is fill your head with useless info for hours on end” Hunter explained while putting a hand between your shoulders, guiding you into the Marauder. Ok, so it might have been a bit small but at least you were off Kamino where everything was too sterile and creepy looking. You were all alone in your room after all, no one ever really came in but a few clones, Nala Se and Omega usually handled them all though.

You gave another look around, making sure you tried to memorize everything. “We have a mission in a few hours, so I suggest you grab what you need from your place” “oh, no. I’ve got all I need, I’m going to head back and tell Nala Se we’re leaving soon” you walked out, Hunter nodded in agreement. “Well, we’ll tell you when we’re ready” you nodded, walking away from the ship and back into Kamino to Nala Se

—

Tech had only ever heard your voice, and by the sound of it. He was already annoyed, since when was there ever another person who does exactly as he does? It was only him, but.. the thought of sharing ideas and thought with someone else ‘smart’ would be nice. But no, he wouldn’t take it. He had to see for himself, he was sure you were going to fail, and he surely wasn’t going to be pushed aside, especially for all he’s ever done for his brothers. You weren’t the one who upgrades their armor for them, you’re not the one who has a datapad much like he has, and you couldn’t possible know anything about mechanics. He’s never met anyone who knew as much as he did, and if he hasn’t within his life, then there’s probably no such thing as it.

—

He thoughts were cut short, when you sat in the co-pilot seat next to him. Only Echo sat there, maybe Hunter on some occasions, he still didn’t look, and he grew annoyed as you tried to tell him what to do. “Do you even know what planet we are on?” Tech asked, finally looking at you, “what does that have to do with this? You haven’t told me where we are and I’m stuck with you. So if you could just focus on the task at hand then maybe we could actually try and get along” you spoke, his eyes widen at your words, he didn’t want you to know anything. It may sound selfish, but he thought of it as a training, I guess you could say. How would you go about in a situation where you don’t know where you’re at, and what you’re doing? What is your next steps for an unexpected change of plans?

His gaze was still hard on you, how could you know something about flying? “Tech, if you don’t help them, Omega and Hera could be shot down” you sounded desperate, but he was the one in charge. He was the one flying, you weighed your options, you didn’t know what to do. He only sat there, observing you like it was his job. “Forgive me” you apologized to him as you pushed him out the seat and took over the wheel. “Hey” Tech called from the floor, standing up, but soon holding onto your seat as he seen what you were going to do. “Hang on Wrecker!” You warned the man in the back, you pushed the petal as Tech almost flew back and Wrecker yell from the back. You turned the ship around for Wrecker so he could take out the cannons.

Tech held on as your flying was not something he was expecting, once you had all of the turrets down and Wrecker finished off the clones on the ground, you stood up, grabbing your helmet and gun. Tech grabbed your arm before you ran out, “hey-” you spoke, “careful with my ship next time” he glared at you, but Wrecker broke the both of you up by running through his grasp on your arm. “Your ship Tech? Or all of ours? She did great!” Wrecker said, hitting you on your shoulder as he laughed and ran off. “Still, we got what needed to be done, I suggest we drop this.. this argument and actually help. And for your information, we’re al Ryloth” you ran after Wrecker, and Tech stood there. You were stubborn alright, but that doesn’t mean you were better than him. No, he won’t allow it

—

After Hera was reunited with her parents and uncle, you all took off. For their brother Crosshair was after them, maybe even you now since you were with the Batch. Taking a deep breath in, and letting it out, you continued to clean your helmet, a few new scratches, but nothing bad. “Y/n?” Omega asked you, coming up and holding your shoulder as she stood on one leg. “What’s wrong Omega?” You asked, looking at her leg, “I got a cut, and my legs hurting. Could you look at it for me?” She asked, sitting on the chair in front of you as she turned to meet your body. “Yeah, let me just grab my stuff, stay right there” you told her as you stood up, walking to grab your bag and come back. You pulled her pants up to her knee, seeing a small scrape on it, “hmm, you only scraped it, nothing too bad if we clean it. Glad you came right on time” you tried to lift her mood up. Looking like you did since she laughed and held Lula.

“This might sting a little, but it won’t hurt” you showed her the bottle, calming her down as she was worried what you had in hand. She gave a small nod, handing it back to you, you smiled and slowly poured the liquid over the cut. She winced, hugging Lula tighter as you grabbed a bacta pad and placed it over her knee. “Alright, that should be good. Come back later for another cleaning, I’ll remind you so don’t worry, and if the ache still continues after a few minutes. Tell me so I can give you some medicine, it might be from all the time you haven’t treated it, but be careful next time” you pulled her pants down, patting her lower leg as she set it down. “So you aren’t going to treat the ache she has?” Tech asked, datapad obviously in hand as he watched you, “Tech! She cleaned it up just now, I should be fine. I think it was just dirty” Omega spoke, Tech looked at her, the back at you, he walked over to another seat, making Omega face him as he turned the chair. “What are you doing?” Omega asked as Tech pulled her pants up again.

Taking the tape off and looking at her scrape, he almost nodded in approval, but stopped himself. “Oh come on, I’m not going just throw a bacta pad on there and say I’m done” you told him, “still, you could have left out an important part” he spoke, Omega watched, “and just because you’re a medic, doesn’t mean you know it all” he harshly said, you wanted to just leave, everyone’s been nice except for Tech, “yeah? Well just because your name is ‘Tech’ doesn’t mean you’re actually a technician. You can multitask yet I haven’t spoken one word about your work” you spoke up, gathering your things and leaving. Omega watched as it all unfolded before her, “that was a bit rude Tech, maybe try and be nice, she’s new. You’re probably making her feel bad” Omega defended you

Tech took his helmet off, watching you walk off and disappear down the hall. “Maybe we only needed one, medic aboard. That was only a small scratch Omega, anyone could treat that” he stood up, “maybe you think we only need one medic, but I think differently. You should respect her more, I came to her because you were busy making repairs, and I’m glad to have let you work while she wasn’t busy. She even helped us back on Ryloth” it wasn’t new that Omega put yet another one of her brothers in place. She was right, you did save them, and treat her. He bet, if she would have went to Wrecker, he would have only plugged it up with trash and dirt then throw a bandaid on it.

Omega walked out the cockpit, Lula in her hands as Tech was left alone. So what you knew how to fly and treat a small wound, anyone could do that… anyone who knew what they were doing. And he was intrigued at how much you knew and what you’ve done.

—

Everyone sat in their seat, you sat behind Echo as he sat in the co-pilot chair. Your hands gripping the pen as you worked an equation out on a piece of paper. Tech heard you whisper quite loudly the numbers, so he worked it out in his head as he watched the stars go by while in hyperspace. “205” he said, you looked up, sighing in annoyance and putting on a fake smile, “thanks Tech, I’m sure me working it out and trying a different way of solving this problem was to easy for you. What a pity, me working with pen and paper as you have a datapad? What was I thinking?” You scoffed out, Echo laughed a bit at your bite back. Tech turned to you, “what do you mean ‘a different way’?” He asked, you threw the paper at him as he caught it then glaring at you for doing so.

His eyes scanned over the numbers, this wasn’t right. None of this was, “give me the pen” he spoke, you looked at him, “what for?” “Just give me the pen” he demanded as you shook your head no. Echo was curious to see what you both were arguing about, his head peaked over the paper and was met with messy writings and scrambled numbers. “How can you read that thing?” You heard Echos disbelief in his voice, “here, I’ll explain it” you reassured him as you clicked the pen. Tech watched as you began to explain what this new trick was. He was fascinated, he found himself looking up your arm until he watched your face as you spoke about something that actually interested you… interested him.

He continued to hold the board with the paper on it for you while you worked it out, circling the answer. He wasn’t sure why, but when you turned to Echo to talk about it, he was quite jealous. Echo wouldn’t understand, but Tech did, why didn’t you argue with him about it. He hesitantly tapped two fingers on your shoulder, you turned and faced him, “perhaps, we could further discuss what you put into motion here? I could teach you some new things as well” he offered, Echo had seen his frail to finally try and get closer to you. He stood up, “excuse me” he walked off, giving you and Tech the time together. “Not sure, I feel like you’re only going to insult me further while thinking you’re smarter, you also offered me something. Don’t know if I should take it that you want something or you hit your head” you crossed your arms, looking at him. “I assure you, I have something’s I would like to share” he lightly laughed.

You thought about it, “fine, but if anything” you threatened him, “there no need to get hostile with me now Y/n, I want to see just how much you know” he leaned back into his seat, arms and legs crossed as he eyed you down. But if anything did happen, the Batch was on board. You sat in the seat Echo sat in before, questioning your choice on agreeing.

—

It seems Tech had underestimated you to soon, you we’re definitely smarter than he had thought. Was there actually someone just like him? Someone who he could rely on and wouldn’t have to explain too, mainly going into details. But you, oh you… you just gave him this feeling. He didn’t want you to leave the seat when you both sat, it was interesting seeing how you knew some things he didn’t. You both shared theories and facts about unusual things people would have probably brushed off and thought was annoying or just plain boring. He found himself moving ever so closer to you when you both started getting into.. deeper matters. What you did on Kamino versus what he does for the galaxy with his brothers. You told him how you wanted to get off the planet and explore while he suggested he explores all the time.

That was until you both found each other, knees touching while you both leaned forward. It was wrong, you abruptly stood up, “I’m sorry Tech, I shouldn’t have” you fixed your armor and set out. Just what happened there?

He didn’t have feelings for you, if he did. It’d most likely be jealousy and anger, for he didn’t want to be replaced for someone they had just met. He was their brother, you can’t just remove them from their life. Now you were off somewhere in the ship, probably have already forgotten about him. But his thoughts were stuck on you, was he too mean to you? Now that whenever he got close, you either brushed him off or you walked away. But what if he wasn’t, would you two have been closer? Together perhaps? It was like talking to himself, actually finding interest in the conversation. Feelings were never in his area of expertise, so he couldn’t exactly pinpoint what he was feeling at the moment. He was sure to keep an eye on it and write down anything he feels on his datapad, maybe even do some research.

—

“Y/n!” “Coming!” You replied to Echo as he yelled for your assistance. Walking down the hall to to Echo kneeling before the console trying to fix whatever he was trying to. “Yeah?” You asked, “I need..” he trailed off, trying to get the control panel fixed. “Oh! I’ve done this plenty of times back on Kamino for the clones’ ship when they got back” you spoke while kneeling next to him, undoing the wires as he looked at you, “what are you doing?” “Relax, you can’t just keep the control panel like this, you have to make sure it clean, this this part” you pointed to the corner of the panel as there was dirt inside, “that’s blocking this part, from entering. So brush this aside, and put it back. Now you’re going to want to make sure all the wires and whatnot are still good. Some could burn out and that could ruin the whole thing, and then you’d have to replace it all. But other times, it just needs a little cleaning” you walked him through it, telling him what goes where and how to clean the board without ruining it, while still making it easy for him to understand without using the big confusing words

He nodded, understanding, “Tech would never say anything like this. He does all the repairs like this, the only time he needs help is when he needs tools or for us to hold something” “Ah, I see. I’m sure he means well. I never had anyone to talk to about this and it feels good to finally share some knowledge” you told him to screw the panel back on. He stood up, offering you his hand and helping you up. “Thanks” “no problem, you learn something new everyday” Echo laughed at your joke, giving you a pat on the shoulder and walking off. You kneeled back down picking up the tools and gathering them into a bag. Another pair of hands helped you, as you looked up, you noticed he had no thigh armor. Tech.

“Thank you Tech, you didn’t have to-” you were pushed on your back as Tech was on top of you. You groaned at the pushed, opening your eyes to see Tech giving you a kiss. Your senses finally returning as you felt the harsh action, making your lips hurt. He softened the kiss, making you now blush as you laid there under him. He pulled back, “T-Tech?” You let out the breath you held in, “Y/n. I’m so sorry about before” your brow furrowed in confusion. “What for?” “All those words, bringing you down. It’s wrong now and it was wrong then, but how could I have not appreciated your actions before?” He questioned himself as you now remembered all those things he said and what he did to try and put you down.

“I can’t let someone, so good and loving leave. I’ve seen the way you treat Omega and my brothers when I’m not there too, you’re smart and beautiful. Yet you’re ready for battle when you’re thrown into it. I’ve been thinking, about my feelings, and… and us” your eyes widen at the last part. About, you? Him? Together? You haven’t thought about it, maybe once but that was when you both were talking that night in the cockpit, he was rude and unforgiving when you were introduced and given a task, always saying he knew and could do better than you. And that your tactics were sloppier than his, and to be frank, he didn’t mean that. It was his feelings he was confused about, “Tech.. I actually don’t know what to do. While you say you’ve thought of us, I haven’t, maybe once but that was wrong. We could never work out” you confessed, his gloved hand on the side of your head as he stroked a few hairs out of your face.

He sighed, thinking. This time it was his heart speaking, not his brain, this has nothing to do with what he normally did. So he had to wing it. “Tell me. What do I need to do to show you, how much I appreciate and want you by my side? Tell me what’s making you feel uncomfortable about us and how I can help. I’m willing to give this a chance if you are” he sounded desperate, the first time you’ve heard him like this. But you had to think on it, he was just as smart, maybe even smarter, he was blunt which made you not have to worry about his opinions on others and how you feel. And he was strong, both mentally and physically. You’ve never met someone as close knowing and interesting like you.

“I.. I’m willing to give this a chance as well” your hand came up to his hair, then pulling him down for another loving kiss. All those problems and feelings he couldn’t explain and work out, have now blown away. If seemed like being close to you felt like ecstasy, your aura felt so welcoming and warm. His lips ghosted over yours before coming down for another. This new found feeling was something he could get use to, yours lips felt so soft against his, your fingertips slightly trailed along his jawline and cupped his cheek. “We, better get up before someone sees us” you suggested, he nodded. A quick kiss on the side of your mouth was given before he got up. Pulling you along. He wanted to see where this relationship would take him.

He was excited to have you by his side now, he knew you two could take on anything. The thought of having someone just like him by his side put a warm feeling in his stomach, someone he could protect along with his brothers. Maybe the jealousy before was telling him something, maybe you both were destined to be together since you both could agree that you’ve never met anyone like the other. And he was glad to have someone to return to every time he came back from a mission, or having you on a mission with him in general. He already had hundreds of reasons why he fell in love with you, and if that’s just the beginning, he wondered what being with you forever would he like. Only time will tell

———

I hope you enjoyed, again! If you ever want to send it a request, I take it in DM’s for those who want to stay anonymous, but others can also go to my ask box. Either way is fine, I don’t mind!^^

[getoutofmyjaneway]

Beta Cannon: the Pre Voyager Era of Kathryn Janeway | Mosaic v The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway

This weekend, I got a copy of the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway from a local book store. For how frequently we speak about Mosaic in the community (despite having some flaws) I was shocked that I had not heard a lot about this book and assumed it was a bad thing. And yeah in some regards it was (see @mia-cooper’s post on the subject). I have a lot of feelings (I’ll post a proper review at a later point) but one thing that did stick out to me is the divergence from what we have considered Beta Canon, aka, the extended universe of Star Treks told through novels, short stories, video games, etc. After completing the novel, I jumped right into my old standby copy of Mosaic, which has dictated a lot of Janeway’s back story since 96. Both of these novels cover the beginnings of Janeway’s life and how she was shaped into the woman we know. 

TLDR The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway changes a lot of things for no reason. Some of these are for the good. Some for the bad. And some, for like no good reason at all, like it was fine as it was, and was accepted cannon for like 25 years, but sure fine whatever.

I will mention that, as Mosaic has been a book in my library and I have read it too many times, so of course, I do have a bias toward it. Additionally, I feel like it is fair to mention here that authors of Fanfiction have leaned on this as their bibles since 1996 as Mosaic is written by Jeri Taylor, one of the show-runners for Voyager. Because of its connection with a showrunner, Mosaic is also integrated into the canon of the show. It seems that most points that are taken from Mosaic in the Autobiography are only included because of their existence in cannon material.

Anyway, this review is going to focus on the characters that shape Kathryn and I will end with my final thoughts. This is long so to respect your dash, you are going to have to click keep reading. You’re welcome.

Obligatory Spoiler Warning for ALL of Mosaic, chapter 13 of Pathways, and chapters 1-7 of The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway

Edward Janeway

In all media, I feel like we can safely say that Kathryn Janeway is in fact a daddy’s girl. Her relationship with her father is very important to her, so it is interesting to see how it is portrayed very differently in both novels. In Mosaic, a lot of the highlights of Janeway’s earlier years revolve around time spent with him. From giving her special attention after ‘Your Sister’ was born, to consoling her after her losing tennis match and subsequent walk home in the rain, and trips to Mars, Kathryn mentions great fondness of quality time spent. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway he is more described as an absent father, one that she always wanted to see and please. When he was home, she wanted all of his attention and to impress him greatly. She wished to follow in his footsteps after gaining a love of flight and the stars with a plane ride and a telescope he gave her. He tried to prepare her by detaining the events of the current conflict with Cardassia and inviting Starfleet brass over for dinner. Overall, in her early childhood, it makes more sense for Edward to not be around often. There is not a lot of conflict between the sources, other than the details of the aforementioned tennis match and different childhood nicknames.  

Edward is in a crash aboard an experimental ship on Tau Ceti Prime which leads to his death. This is where the big differences begin. In Mosaic, Kathryn and her fiancé are also on board. In  Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, Kathryn is still on the Al-Batani. The fall out of this event has a great effect on Kathryn of course in both novels. As this is a missive shaping event of Kathryn’s life, I felt it very jarring to be changed. This moment shaped Janeway and gives us good context for why she handles situations the way she does. I see this trauma and I understand her character better, for dealing with the loss of two of the most important people in her life all at once.

Gretchen Janeway

The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway was good to Gretchen Janeway as her character is basically a blank slate. We know little about her from Mosaic as it mostly focuses on Kathryn’s relationship with her father (and other male influences in her life). It is nice to learn more things about Grechen as with Edward’s job, it is likely that Kathryn was mainly raised by her. Other than being an artist, she also wrote some of the Flotter holos and wrote a number of children’s stories about the people of Bajor during the occupation. She does a lot of humanitarian work with the refugees from Bajor during the occupation. She loves to garden and get her daughters involved. She has a close bond with Phoebe due to their overlapping interests, but you can tell that she strives to support her in what she does. Overall, I like getting know Gretchen to be someone of than Kathryn’s mother.

Phoebe Janeway

 I was shocked when researching Memory Alpha for this review, Phoebe is never named in any Cannon media up to this point (Star Trek Prodigy could very well change this). We know Janeway has a sister and she is an artist, but that is it. Both novels keep her very similar personality-wise. In both stories, Kathryn is not looking forward to being a big sister. They also both mourn the loss of their father together. In Mosaic, she is not mentioned much. Kathryn tells her she is not old enough on an off planet trip and Phoebe plays pranks on her. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway goes much more into depth. They don’t get along when they are younger. They fight a lot. I feel this is a very realistic portrayal of real siblings, vying for attention and approval, snapping when they don’t get their way.  They both excel at what they do, Kathryn in her studies and Phoebe through her art. They seem to need to one-up each other at every turn.  As they grow up, they grow closer together, as many siblings do. Points added for giving Phoebe a wife, something which has been included in a lot of fanfiction. Overall, there are no big conflicting points.

Mark Johnson

Kathryn’s fiance at the time of the Voyager’s disappearance, Mark is a very different part of Kathryn’s life in both novels. In Mosaic, he is a childhood friend and went by his middle name Hobbs. Seemingly always two steps behind Kathryn, he did a lot of the same activities that she did, tennis and swimming in the underground cave systems. He did these poorly, and this makes Kathryn always look down upon him. They reconnected after her father’s death and she fell head-over-heels for him. Personally, I always felt this was a little uncharacteristic of Kathryn, to run away from her responsibilities to be with a man. It just seems very out of character and has always bothered me. The  Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway takes a completely different approach. She meets Mark as a friend of Pheobe and her wife as a widower. They hit it off and they fall hard. You can see the conflict in Kathryn as she debates how to move forward with a relationship as they have different outlooks on life. She has a drive to explore but does not want to be an absent parent. She debates quitting, which I don’t think is something Janeway would have ever done. Overall she decides to accept Mark’s proposal just before taking command of Voyager. This makes the Dear John situation a lot more believable as it makes sense that he would want to move on with his life much quicker. Overall, I have to just ask, why? I know Mark doesn’t have a lot of character, but why change basically their whole relationship dynamic? 

Justin Tighe

Justin is a character I actually like for selfish reasons. This explains why I was very miffed that he was nowhere to be seen in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Justin is Kathryn’s first love, they were coworkers, engaged and in love, and dies in the same accident that takes her father. As a person who always wanted Chakotay and Janeway to get together, this incident perfectly gives the reason. She is afraid to get romantically involved with a crew member because of the nature of the job. This dynamic is seen between Picard and Nella Daren in TNG very well. Kathryn has learned the hard way that she can lose a person under her command and how it feels when you are in love with that person. In early Voyager, you can see she isolates herself from the crew and it takes time for her to get comfortable. And during Night she relapses to her old ways. This is the way I have always justified Janeway’s reluctance to have a romantic relationship during their time in the Delta Quadrant. By understanding her background, I have a lot of respect for that choice. Her relationship with Justin really shaped how she handles relationships and without the impact he had on her life, it actually makes her character weaker.

Owen Paris

Owen is Kathryn’s mentor. In Mosaic, they meet as he is reviewing her junior honors thesis advisor on massive compact halo objects. From here they gained a relationship built on respect and learning. It makes sense that, as he was her personal mentor, that she would be close with his family, and why she would seek out Tom as a person to bring with her to the Badlands mission. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, she does not meet him until she is on the Al-Batani. This doesn’t only weaken her relationship with Admiral Paris, but moreover weakens her relationship with Tom. If he was her superior officer, why would she develop such a ‘big sister’ mentality to Tom if she didn’t have as many opportunities to meet him?

Tuvok

Mosaic does not go too much in depth with Tuvok and Janeway’s relationship, but its sister novel Pathways does. In Pathways, Tuvok meets Janeway when he is an ensign under her command of the USS Bonestell. The Bonestell and the Billings, two ships that Janeway served on, tend to get confused a lot. Most sources have Janeway’s first command as the Voyager, Including Voyager itself -  “It doesn't seem like my first command is shaping up the way I expected,” Janeway Shattered. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway has her and Tuvok meet on the Al-Batani. I actually really like the dynamic between them, as they grow to respect each other over a much longer period of time. I also like that, though Janeway climbs through the ranks, it does not change their relationship dynamic as she still relies on him and asks him advice as if they were equals. I think giving them a longer time to build their relationship. Also would like to note that Janeway and Tuvok also had a friendship with the original CMO of Voyager, Dr. Fitzgerald. I always wanted to know more about the Pre-Caretaker crew and I would have loved to see this dynamic and how the grief of losing a close personal friend in the Caretaker incident would impact them both.

Also I feel obligated to shout out the Janeway and Tuvok story in Star Trek Waypoint One-Shot. I need to get around to doing a series retrospective, but this short story I have not seen anyone talk about and I love it so much. Please read Waypoint. Okay next.

Other characters

Cheb - Janeway’s boyfriend in Mosaic. He was kind of an asshole and got her into trouble. He is not in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway and I see no problem with this.

Boothby - “[he is the] head groundskeeper at Starfleet Academy. When I was a cadet, he used to give me fresh roses for my quarters,” Janeway Revulsion. Boothby is not in Mosaic. In the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway, it is explained that her mother loved to garden and this was something that Boothby did as a gradian figure to make her feel at home and destress. Makes sense.

Aisha - A childhood friend of Katheryn’s. Only in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Mosaic has this weird thing about highlighting the relationships with only the men in her life, so it is nice to see her have some other female friends.

Nexa - Katheryn’s roommate at the Academy.  Only in the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. Nexa helps broaden Kathryn’s horizons by helping to learn about Exoliguisticts, first contact, and the Betazoid culture. Again nice to see her have other female friends.

Riker - Yes they go on a date in Mosaic. He is not mentioned in the  Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway. I know he is a gag character but I still liked it.

-----------------------

Final Thoughts

A lot of characters were changed between these two novels. There is a lot to like and a lot to hate. I really like what the Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway did with characters like Tuvok and Gretchen Janeway. Other characters were not so lucky (Justin, sweetie I’m so sorry that they would erase you like that, oh my god). It’s a mixed bag, but one thing I need say is... why?

We have had a good thing going here with the established canon as is. Mosaic (and Pathways) is the foundation of which the last 25 years of fanworks and the relaunch novels are based on. Why change history when it is already written?

Always, would love to hear your thoughts and thank you for reading my novel of a post. I will see you in the full review.

[marisol993]

For some time now I've seen, over and over again, that the Qunari in the Dragon Age Universe are apparently some kind of racist caricature of black people, muslims and other types of poc's, bipoc's, minorities, ....

From a personal perspective I never saw them as such, but since a personal view of things isn't very objective and can be skewed by ones life-experiances I was completely willing to admit, that I might have been wrong about that and had an opportunity to learn something new here.

The more I thought about it and critically examined this statement though, the less I agreed with any of it. Especially since a lot of arguments in favor of this view seemed to boil down to "this person of [insert relevant minority here] said so". I.e. another "personal viewpoint".

So let's get into a critical analysis of the Qunari and why I think that they are so very far removed from any kind of "minorty" (from a western point of view) coding that you couldn't even see it with the power of the Hubble and James Webb space-telescopes combined:

First of all, who are the Qunari? The Qunari are tall, medium to heavily built, horned (or unhorned, if you only played Origins) humanoids, that come in varying shades of grey skin, with whiteish hair. They are more intensly sexually dimorphic than the Dwarves, Elves and Humans of Thedas, with the males being sometimes nearly twice as wide (especially in the shoulders) and much more muscled than the females. They call themselves the Qunari as they are followers of the Qun (their guide to life and society), though the word is more of an umbrella-term, since anybody of any race is called a Qunari if they "convert" to the teachings of the Qun.

Here's a picture:

At this point some people might already remark, that the Qunari are very obviously "black-coded" since apparently nowadays any deviation from natural, real-life human skintones automatically has to mean, that the fantasy-race in question is meant to reflect black or brown people (even if they are green or bright purple), unless you literally give them a complete and utterly snow-white skintone. If that is the argument you want to go with, I would like to redirect your eyes to the picture above, as it already disproves this. As it is shown there (and in the DA:I Character-Creator), the Qunari can come in a complete spectrum of skintones (from very light grey to nearly ebony), just like all the different races of Thedas (even the dwarves for some reason, which doesn't make much sense for a race that lived underground for most of their history, but what can you do..). This basically means, that yes there are dark-skinned (or "black") Qunari, but there are also those that could be better described as "light-skinned", so the coding-qualifier goes away.

Then there are the people, who might want to say, that because they are tall and "burly", together with the unnatural skintone makes them "black-coded" which is something I never really understood, since the tallest people in the world by ethnicity are the Dutch and if you look at heights in correlation with body-weight the Russians take first place. Both countries not really know for their large populations of darkskinned-humanoids. Another coding-qualifier that goes away.

And then there are the people (who I would seriously suggest should maybe review their own "racial" views, if "black and brown people" is the first thing they think about when it comes to this), who say, that they are a stereotype of the "savages and natives", which is something that is actively contradicted in canon. One of the most prominent traits of the Qunari is that they are efficiant to a T, use every resorce at the disposal to it's maximum (including their people) and that they are more technically and scientifically advanced than many other race in Thedas (except maybe the dwarves) . This is shown through their mastery of gunpowder (which they call gaatlok) and the fact that they can use chemicals and drugs to literally warp the mind of people without needing magic. They are in no way presented as "savage" and if they are named such, it's usually by people who they are actively at war with, who want to insult them. They are also not "natives" of Thedas. Even their so called "homeland" in Thedas, which is called Par Vollen, was colonised by them, when they landed at it's shores in 6:30 Steel-Age and started converting the original population of Tevinter humans and elves, with whom they have been at war with ever since. Let me say that again: The Qunari are active colonisers and at war with the Tevinter-Imperium, who's people are the original population of the land. Not exactly a typical "native or black" stereotype in western media.

So who do I think the Qunari are actually modeled after?

Well let's summarise:

The Qunari came from across the ocean in their ships filled with cannons and guns, to colonise the land and convert the native population towards their beliefs. They are currently fighting a war against the Tevinter-Imperium, an old and powerful empire, that engages in widespread slavery and practices blood-magic by sacrificing said slaves, sometimes also to one of their many gods.

(If you can't guess who I think they are supposed to be modeled after by now, I would recommend to maybe picking up a 7th-grade history textbook again)

Yes, you can make a very strong case for the Qunari actually being these guys:

The Conquistadors (heck, if you cross out a few letters you can even anagram the word "Qunari" out of the word Conquistador). Who also came from across the sea with ships, cannons and guns to colonise the land (south- and middle-america) and convert the native population (to christianity) and fought an ancient and powerful empire with slaves and blood-sacrifices (the Aztec-Kingdoms).

So after pissing of one half of tumblr with that, let's start with the other half by talking about the apparent "muslim-coding" and how I disagree with that too.

Let's start with a rough definition of what a muslim is and how I think that that alone shows how the Qunari are in no way coded to be them:

I would define a muslim as somebody who is an active member of the religion of Islam. Islam is defined by it's holybook (the Qur'An), which was revealed to the prophet Muhammad by an all-knowing and omnipresent abrahamic god.

This in and of itself basically already disqualifies the Qunari from being "muslim-coded" since first and foremost the Qunari are not a religion. They do not have a god and they don't pray to any, the Qun is not a "holy-book" and Ashkaari Koslun (the guy who wrote it) was not a prophet, who wrote down the word of god, but a philosopher who basically crafted a "guide to life and society" with his works.

If you really wanted to find something that is slightly "muslim-coded" in the world of Thedas, you might actually have more luck with the chantry-stuff, since they do have a prophet (Andraste) who could talk to god (the Maker), they have a holy book based of her teachings (the Chant of Light) and they believe that the whole world should follow those teachings, so god will return to them (singing the Chant from all four corners of the world). They even have their own flavour of jihadist religious warfare with the Exhalted Marches (though all in all I do think that the Chantry can be better viewed as a take on christian religions since the split between the Imperial Chantry and the original one is similar to the split of the (western) christian church into catholics and protestants).

So what do I think is a better representation for the Qun in the real world?

Well lets look at it in the simplest way possible that the canon gives us:

The Qun is a guide for the life of the Qunari (the people of the Qun) that ecompasses everything from laws, legislative guides, too how society should be struktured and how everyone has to fit into and function in that society, from the most mundane and simplest tasks and jobs to it's highest administrative bodies. Everyone in this society is evaluated, so that they can be put into a position that is best suited to them and their skill-sets. There they will then each work according to their abilities and each be provided for according to their needs (see what I did there). Yes, the Qun can in my opinion be best described as a take on an authoritarian-socialist guide to life, written by somebody with a similar philosophie as Karl Marx.

So all in all, I don't think that the Qunari are in any way black-, brown-, bipoc- or muslim-coded, but a fantasy take on the Conquistadors, if instead of a bible they had all carried around "A Guide to Life, Luck and Community, written by Karl Marx (during one of his more productive weekends)", visually represented by giant Minotaur-People of many colours.

Also I find this obsession with finding every and any kind of reflexion of our real world in some random fantasy setting, by people who are most of the time actively looking to get offended by at least something and mostly every- and anything, quite contrived most of the time and that the day people on tumblr learned the word "codeing" a significant part of the internets critical-thinking skills and will just shrivelled up and died.

Thank you for coming to my TED-talk.

[captainkurosolaire]

I challenge you to pick five Tumblrs in your social circle and tell them something you admire about their blog!

Only 5? I could probably do 500. However, that's determined by what's considered my social circle. I'm often in my head being incredibly social continuously is really a challenge of mine. I'm always actively marching to something, my flame of passion when I have it, I can do some crazy stuff but it diminishes relatively quickly, so I try to cling. But I'll up your thing and list 25 of my fave people. Ask me this same thing in a Month, I'll keep doing 25, until I do all the people. How about that? (If anyone wants to be taken off mention let me know.)

@eligos-venator

- Has one of the most intelligent and sophisticated minds, I've had the pleasure to know. Literally admire all his aesthetics, work, head-cannons, ideas. It's only a benefit that the dude shares some OC characteristics to my own (Winning features). I really enjoyed the short-thread we did. It was incomplete, mainly because of my faults. I want to actually be better to give him a proper delivery and RP worth his time, but he's incredibly worth the investment of eyes.

@mischiefandmystics

- If there was a Mount Rushmoore of writers who kept me in this endeavor, encouraged me. Sun'ra is one of them. His characterization skills, writing, the delivery and how believable his character is, they're masterful acts.

@mishivymendi

- I wouldn't be nearly tamed or as creatively freed if it wasn't for this gem. She broke my shell, I really didn't at a time ever see myself being anything really beyond a smut writer, but Mishi not only saw potential in me, but brought it out. Her stories and world's she brings to life are so majestically colorful.

@asymphonyofash

- My go-to. He's another pillar individual who saw things in me past just the obvious perception, (Probably second longest XIV RPer I know.) Taught me a lot of the lore, I shot him up and he's sort of become my stapled rock. He's right aside Sun'ra met them about the same, both took me under their wing's as I quietly observed and absorbed.

@lavender-hemlock

- We're always up and front with each other, never feeling like I couldn't say anything around, extremely rare to share that these days. Her gif's are legendary, something on my own terms I want to soar in quality. The writing she does is astounding. Character has so many mysterious pages that are quite addictive to want to explore and learn them. (Encore 20 below-cut)

@under-the-blood-moonlight - Her sweetness and artwork and overall is just a friendly presence to be around. I cherish them so much. One I can jive with more darker undertones with. She's one the most hardworking and ambitiously creative people. I'd mail them infinite hugs if could. Thanks for being you! @roxinova - I owe a lot of credit to her. She's constantly OOC and everything was nudging me too be more inclusive to things and involved heavenly. It's rare for me. I'm really horrible about that my autism sets me back socially, I constantly will be drowned by the next day and be reverted back to better off alone, that's my major crux and weakness. But her thoughtfulness, these things, aren't ever foreign to me, I do pay attention probably better than any would ever give me credit. She's a beacon model to have as a friend. @corpse-dancer - Haven't ran into many words with them, but her character, screenshot game, expressiveness, they're all a marvel to constantly see, alongside her attitude and bringing life character. I do think if I were better, we would click quite splendidly. They've recently reminded and motivated me to pick-up my daily-practice, or try too. Keep being a rockstar. @fair-fae - Few who wouldn't know who she is in this community. She's been in my opinion a huge core. I'm certain she's inspired many who weren't even RPers too try it by seeing her at the Quicksands or elsewhere, a tyme ago. Making no exception, I was even one of those. I used to be in QS every-single day and was often doing my shameless stuff. Though her presence first did show me there's a lot more. I admire her in all fields. Also appreciate her adopting me to the FC and her always thinking of others and giving events, or her aesthetics and portrayal, its the epitome of swan elegance. @thorcat - One of my most treasured friends. Been RPing with them for a longtime. There's never anything complicated between us or a rift of drama, it's just let's go and have fun. We really mesh well, I've welcomed nearly ever character and got the privilege to RP with nearly all them. They always open up envelope and help me, settle on back and just laugh. Whether used to be waking up to their characters humping my afk one or use randomly having a hardcore banter between Ufah and Captain and capturing them as a voidal pet. Memories with them isn't something I'd ever want to lose. I love ya! Never stop enjoying life for anything. @lukawarrioroflight - I get in the gutter find myself lacking motivation or writing, discouraged even... But I never have felt, I could ever do any wrong with this person, they bring the light out of me. So no matter what, how many hospital-beds I yearly visit, it's because of this rare nature, that I come back, even if they're the only one's ever to read my stuff. I would do it for them alone. @scholarlybreadbun - I've only been back recently and they've so much warmth. Their presence is the sun of inviting. The couple and posing all the shipping that stuff makes me even melt. I'm not particularly talented in regards to posing couples, but I took notice of them along time ago and set on quietly improving. Really like them for them, wouldn't ever want them to change that. Ideally look forward to be in their orbit longer so I can bask in them. @seascrapes - Been mutual with them for a while. Their aesthetics and character is all S+ level. I appreciate throwing back tagged prompts with them, one of many people I really think would be enjoyable to collab with any other seafarers. The artwork and pieces of Tal Brook, are breathtaking as ever exceptionally too, not to mention. Love your stuff matey, you're a king. @mai-takeda - Is a myth. Her absolutely sheer friendliness and her attitude, are so positive influencing, I was so thrilled to be welcomed with her and boosted by them early on. I couldn't see myself, wanting to exist where they didn't have happiness like the same she always delivers by just doing so many soft-things. Not to mention her writing... She's a whole world to throw yourself gazes

under. @zhauric - It doesn't go far either without the same breath of Mai, I could say about Zhauric. He's someone worthy to look-up and also recognize they're passionate and inviting, hoisting up literally everything. Could easily find any of their characters comrades with my own, or jiving alongside. Not to mention last XIVWrite, they slaughtered it. So enjoyable to read them all. I like how organized their blog is too, motivated me recently to redux my entire thing. @cadrenebula - They have so many diverse characters and their entire roster is vibrant and is imbued with a massive flux of life. They are able to encapsulate so many character's voices and portray them so effectively too, I really admire that greatly. They've made me think bigger and try myself recently at actually undertaking a huge roster of characters too. I've taken many breaks, but I always am so graciously returned often with them close-by and that's so incredibly sacred. I've seen a lot of people get discouraged or quit, leave, departure, etc. But they always seem to have a bigger house then they had last I took a break and I enjoy peaking in. @silvernsteel - Her artist and gif-work are awe-aspiring, there's little unrecognizable by her photo-sets and edits. They helped me even tip-toe into uncharted with giving me the recipes to try incorporating gifs into my arsenal. Plus so delightfully pleasant to actually talk with and just chill. I want nothing less in life, than the beauty they give, to be returned to them for eternity in all their glorious air. If ever needed anything of me, they've got me. @spotofmummery - We talk about passion or friendliness or overall a person to even remotely try to be, I got to include them. Their web-series and writing, screen-work, everything they do is fantastic. And that's furthered back nearly any I've met showcase or immortalize how just genuine of stellar person they are. I wish them always the energy to create and sparks. @snow-covered-moon - They've never been anything less but absolutely a diamond to know. I enjoy their character, their almost always abundant of energy that's very rub inducing. Their WoL character stories, writing, screen-shots, everyday they open up a new pandora box of joy, there's no mistaken love behind their character and that's infectiously easy to also enjoy something when the author does too. Always healthy to be around, I never feel short of vitality when they're close-by. @letheofthelost - Always cheerful or least encapsulates with me, they're a carnival ride. Just pure epic story-telling and engaging equally as passionate, constantly writing characters, not looking for anything outside of RP or anything really just being their selves, they fade all others. I love their presence, them as a person. Enjoy any character they'll ever come and throw under me, or a change of pace. Always feels easily understandable between one another. @crow-iv - Together we're an unfiltered, unstoppable wake of pure passionate writers and art. But I would say they're far ahead of me, in every regard. Already able to portray multiple characters in a scene and do such in-depth thinking, alongside even sketch or draw right afterwards or a scene. They're so talented, huge reason I set-out on giving them a Crew of cast and actual stories to-tell when I'm actually caught up and if they interested and we both have the room, I really think if further myself, I can be better and supply more for them to draw and I want to see them soar. I want to give them all my improvements and effectiveness. @trishelle - They've such a reinforcing personality and aura around them that easily bolsters anything that dares thinking they're about to be depleted so energizing. Aesthetics, characters, all them are so lively that further compliment their own mun's great welcoming presence. Worth hundreds of smiles and stars, keep high. Wish I had more time to dedicate to learning you! But I do notice and appreciate you. @fracturedfantasia - One of my people, I like to retreat and just talk my full

head-cannons with or learn, share insightful and inquisitive thoughts about philosophies and multi-culture things. Or plotting and in-general, they're a well of information and brimming ideas, they are every making of what makes a quality friend. When you can generally be open-about-all that's a real one right there. Their characters and tarot readings, I always would implore if they're offering. Thanks for giving me any-time. You're truly a treasure. @violet-warder - Never have even came to words with them yet unfortunately but didn't mean as a mutual, I haven't admired all their screenies, writing, or the aesthetics they bring of their character. Glamours is real end-game, I like all what you've done and put together. I care strictly about what represent and give, I don't want to see them ever think anyone want's them gone, they are abundantly so talented and possess things only they can deliver. I think recently came back too, and I'm glad to share, hopefully, overtime I can build you better up. Or eventually even talk, but I'm certain you are a busy-body person too, so we're relatable. @layla-grey - I have a lot of underline issues that set me back as a flawed person, but I've never not been anything but someone who's open, it's why I always do include my f-list in anything or etc. I'm not here to present this facade, and really don't care to be an image crafted by another. No one as of recently or now, am I close with as an RP partner or friend with then this stunning masterpiece. I never let-up on story-telling or anything so I can eventually use my Crew or other Characters, to give them anytime a master entertaining day, they push me to not be short-changed. IC and OOC I would devote my full attention too cause they've never shed from me. Didn't ever matter how much silence or anything, they're always around. And don't expect anything out of me or pressure. Just accept me and I equally share that sentiment, I want you to have everything in this world has to offer. ----- This is just a fraction of people, I've paid attention, noticed or know. I've been around in this Community for many years. There's a lot of things I could say about it, more probably then anyone else. But what matters to me, is recognizing the people who are here, that work hard, build others up, support, constantly are a beam. I don't need to interact with everyone, to know when someone is generally out for good. Or they're out for bad I've learned inquisitiveness longtime ago, I had to survive and remain afloat. I just go out and be me, and along the way, I get to find people like these, who help bring out the best me. I am nothing without these people, creators, writers, artist. I'm a terrible friend, horrible person, I don't have the energy to interact NEARLY with as much as I'd like with you all, If I could clone myself, or if things were different, I would drop it all to be in your orbits more if could. But, do know I appreciate you. And even if you ever do depart from this whole community or anything, know that anything you share, or give, that stuff does matter, somewhere, someone was aspired, if nothing else, by me. ONLY you can give the worlds you see and I am thankful. Do love yourself.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

“Let’s BTS” asks about “I like you the most” and Jin’s reaction

by Admin 2

First of all, I want to wish you all, far away in the world of Vmin and BTS, a healthy and peaceful Easter, if you celebrate it, and a nice weekend for those who don’t! Since Admin 1 is quite busy right now and currently also participating in Camp NaNoWriMo, I (Admin 2) will take over our blog for a little while though Admin 1 will still be lurking and checking comments etc. I want to emphasize right away (you will probably notice it anyway) that I have no literary talent compared to Admin 1. I'll try to worthily “replace” Admin 1 for the time being and talk to you about Vmin and more.

Unlike Admin 1, I am not so careful with shipping discussions (and I even like them) as long as everything is done respectfully and we’re all sticking to the truth about the BTS members. I don't like criticizing other shippers because I understand that other fans may love their favorite members and ships just as much as we love Vmin or Namjin, but sometimes it’s inevitable that I have to say something.

So, I invite you to a discussion. I am open to discussion.

We got two interesting questions about “Let’s BTS” and specifically Jin’s reaction to vmin and I want to discuss them.

From anon: Hi, just wanted to see what you made of Jin’s reaction to Tae’s message to Jimin on the Let’s BTS show. I’ve seen some people say he looks so done and even annoyed with it. I can understand him looking apprehensive at first because Tae is a bit of a loose canon, but everyone’s reaction after is to laugh and smile and shout but Jin is very stoic. I’m kinda new and wondering whether he isn’t a fan of Vmin’s brand of declaring their love on national TV. Although when I think of how he behaves with Joon - I’d struggle to wonder why he doesn’t like it. Any thoughts?

From anon: Hi, I cannot believe what I’m reading about Tae on some platforms. What is wrong with people? Anyways I wanted to ask you what you thought of Jin’s reaction to Tae’s message for Jimin? I’ve started seeing people saying that Jin hates the fact they’re close that’s why his reaction was weird. I’m a vmin shipper but Jin is my bias and I can’t get my head around the fact that Jin doesn’t love them both dearly. He did look “apprehensive” perhaps but I’d say with Tae being Tae; that isn’t surprising.

In order to answer these two questions and to form my opinion on the matter, I’ve looked at the situation with regard to Jin and other members several times.

I admit that I’m surprised myself that Taehyung went this far. Actually, it's not even about the content of his words, but about the whole circumstance and the atmosphere that he created around his "confession". I don't know who added the music, whether it was a Taehyung hint or simply something the editors and PD thought of, but the whole situation and phrase gained even more "meaning" and "seriousness" through it.

I seemed as though the background music was supposed to make the moment remind everyone almost of a scene from a K-Drama (or one of vmin’s playful roleplays), but it only added to the effect of this being a serious, sincere and weighty moment instead.

Taehyung joked around by turning the table and pretending the envelope was not intended for Jimin, but this just led to an increase in the tension displayed by the members and the moment itself, and yet still Jimin was immediately convinced that he was the one for whom the envelope would be. Everyone was acting (which makes it sound like they were faking it which isn’t what I mean) like they were curious, but you could clearly see everyone's tension and nervousness, especially when looking at Jimin. Taehyung added that the contents of the card within the envelope were for Jimin's eyes only, emphasizing the seriousness and intimacy of what he was about to say. As a result, Jimin’s reaction led to uncertainty, nervousness, and at the same time an awareness of the sincerity and seriousness of Taehyung's words.

The words "I like you the most" are (on a superficial surface level) nothing big when compared to "I love you", but they still had the biggest reaction. Jimin wrote "I love you" to Suga and absolutely no one reacted nervously, everyone joined in on the declaration, and the situation was relaxed and even funny. Why did Taehyung’s words cause such reactions then? Why?

My thought is this: When the envelope was revealed to be for Jimin, it was met with tension by both members and Jimin. We all know that Taehyung can be a bit of a loose cannon sometimes, even on national television, when it comes to Jimin.

Jungkook immediately commented that "it’s about friendship", Suga laughed nervously and loudly, as if he wanted to end the situation quickly, and Jin had a serious face that didn’t seem all too positive or eager about what would happen next.I'm not going to go into Jimin's reaction here, but rather Jin’s, since that’s what the anons were wondering about.

In my opinion, Jin doesn't like situations that slip into seemingly too private matters. He is definitely the kind of person who gives up the least private information. The situation with Vmin clearly didn't suit him. And not because Jin doesn't like Vmin (because that’s simply not true), but because he knew this program would be broadcast nationally and streamed worldwide, that it would be debated, that every word would be analyzed, and most importantly, because the team that recorded the show wasn’t their own but one that belonged to KBS. Jin doesn't want anyone to have access to BTS's private life, after all he even asked the You Quiz editors to cut what he saw as too sad/depressing about his answers so clearly he thinks about and considers many such things. I think Taehyung didn't care all that much, but Jin did care.

Perhaps I will go too far in my analysis and imagination here, but let's not forget that in the near future Jin is going to have to leave for his military enlistment in the highly conservative Korean army, which holds very homophobic views. Any shadow cast on any of the BTS members (even if some of them are already suspected to be queer) can endanger Jin or make it even more difficult for him to perform his service well and safely. The suspicion that two of the members might be in a relationship with each other would make Jin an accomplice, since they belong to the same group and would lead to him also being suspected of being queer, guilty by associating basically. This is my opinion at least.

Jin is the oldest and feels responsible for BTS, much the way Namjoon does as leader, for everyone including Taehyung, because Jin is aware of the wave of hatred that will be/is poured onto Taehyung across sns after such a public statement. According to Jin, in my humble opinion, this is neither the time nor the place to take such a step in such serious manner. As long as everything was done in form of jokes and witty answers, Jin was joining in and having fun, but when it was Tae's turn his face became serious, as if to warn Taehyung. Jin knew that "Taehyung's atmosphere" could/would fluster Jimin and the entire team, and could become the subject of rumors spread by the staff that isn’t their own.

So no, Jin’s reaction wasn’t because he hates vmin or anything like that, because that’s not true on any level, but because Taehyung’s words about liking Jimin the most were perhaps too sincere for the setting they were in, raising too many brows, and that’s potentially why he reacted the way he did. After all, if you watch the 5th Muster concerts, and especially the one in Seoul, when vmin stand at the very end together, Jin approaches them and throws water at them as though to pull them out of their bubble and back into reality. All in good fun and because he simply cares a lot about them.

Also, an alternative and even more simple answer could be that Jin’s face has no relation to anything I just said and doesn’t tell us anything about what he thought about Taehyung’s words. After all in some interviews he also just sits there quietly and watches/listens to the other members and that doesn’t mean anything at all, or at least nothing negative. But since you asked for my thoughts, here they are, though they don’t have to be right.

I actually have no idea what the reactions are to this show in Korea and among the general public, but I've seen the reactions to Tae’s words across various sns, which one of the anons also mentioned so I’d like to talk about those for a moment as well.

My hair stood on end when I read some of the responses/posts about Taehyung. I never thought that people who call themselves ARMY or fans of BTS would have such opinions about any of the members. A wave of hatred literally flooded Taehyung, like Admin 1 previously mentioned in their answer to an ask.

I just wanted to cry. It shocked me how far shipping can go (literally playing with actual, living people with no regard to their own words and thoughts) that it can cause such extreme emotions in "fans". It's hard to say which is more negative and alarming for some, Taehyung potentially really having (romantic and reciprocated) feelings for Jimin, Taehyung's feelings not being for the “right” person, or the mere fact that Taehyung's feelings are for a person of the same gender.

It’s also interesting to see how deceptive some are. I don’t even mean that “Taehyung and Jimin like each other most” is ignored, which it is, but rather that those mutual feelings were manipulated to twist them into a completely different direction and to another person, or turned into mere jokes or sarcasm. As if all of this simply never happened.

On the other hand, the fact that Jungkook unbuttoned his shirt before going on stage for “My Time”, as opposed to him not doing so during rehearsals, has become very important and an example of J*k*ok being in a relationship, how that’s now even clearer than ever before and is an indisputable fact, according to shippers. Apparently, J*k*ok were flirting with each other throughout the entire segment and show and only had eyes for each other. Somehow Jungkook imitating Jimin is the final piece of evidence to prove everything shippers ever claimed and thus, according to them, everyone must now see that they love each other romantically.

I've carefully watched this show three times, this particular segment and everything else too, and frankly I haven't seen anything that could be called anything even close to flirting when it comes to the two main ML ships. I'm mature and I think I know what flirting is and I can “read” the simplest human behavior, but I really couldn’t see any of it. In my opinion, Jungkook imitating Jimin is clear and open and not a secret. I fully understand Jungkook, I would also follow Jimin in his place :-) Jimin's dancing and looks, as well as his professional work ethic, are truly breathtaking, inspiring and worth imitating. However, this has absolutely nothing to do with romantic affection or a romantic relationship between them, in my opinion.

Hence, I fail to understand these behaviors which in turn lead to a wave of hatred against Taehyung and the, repeated, disregard, belittlement and erasure of Jimin’s and Taehyung’s friendship and relationship bond, and even some going as far as pretending anything vmin was simply not there at all just to make their ship seem more real, booo.

[craziest-in-the-guild]

Resolute

Chapter 2 of the Long Night series

Content Warnings: 18+ for some adult themes (still not to the smut, but were headed there) Nightmares/post traumatic stress

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: Although this is reader x rex, I couldn't help but make reader a red head. Hope that's ok. Is it dyed? Natural? You decide!

I said goodbye to Kix and handed over his care to my coworker. His ankle was broken in two places, and while it wasn’t bad enough for surgery, it would be soaking in bacta for several hours. I had given him some pain meds and told him to enjoy his rest.

I hated to leave him, but I needed to go home and get ready to ship out in the morning. I needed rest myself, but I knew there was no way I was going to sleep. How could I sleep? I was never meant to be on the battlefield.

_____________________________

Rex headed back to the barracks to tell his men about Kix and their new medic. Kix had assured him that he thought she would be able to handle the stress of a war zone. He hoped for her sake that he had made the right decision.

“Where’s Kix?” Jesse asked as soon as Rex came through the door.

“Kix broke his kriffing ankle and won’t be shipping out with us.”

“Who’s going to be our medic?” Fives asked, “Surely not one of those kriffing med droids!”

“I found a replacement. You know the medic from medbay that patches you all up when you are too drunk from 79’s or hurt from a fight? She is coming with us.”

“HER?” They all asked, surprised.

“Yes, her,” a weary Rex responded. “Kix said he wanted her to be his replacement, and I want you all to make her feel welcome. Afterall, she may save your hide out there.”

______________________

Maker, I had just closed my eyes when my alarm started blaring. The room was cold and my covers were nice and toasty, killing any will I might have had to get up. Why is a bed the most comfortable right when you have to leave?

I grumbled, threw back the covers, and headed to the fresher. I indulged myself, heating the water until it was steaming. I didn’t know how the showers were aboard light cruisers, but I was betting they weren’t this good. My self indulgence couldn’t last too long, or else I’d be running late. Begrudgingly, I turned the water off.

I heard a knock at my apartment door and wondered who it could be at this early hour. I slid on my robe and went to investigate.

“Captain, what are you doing here so early? Am I late?” I crossed my arms to ensure my robe stayed closed, feeling slightly awkward in front of the captain. It didn’t help that he was so handsome. I could feel my cheeks flushing.

“No, I just wanted to come get you so we could go to the quartermaster’s and make sure you have everything you need.”

He handed me a pair of blacks to put on. I was a little confused as blacks were what the troopers wore under their armor.

“Oh, ok, um, do you want to come in while I finish getting dressed?”

The captain seemed surprised that I invited him in. We both stood still in the awkward silence for a moment, both presumably exhausted and not firing on all cylinders. I could see the dark circles under his eyes that indicated he hadn’t slept either. I wondered if he ever really slept.

“I have fresh caf brewing,” I offered.

Fresh caf was enough to lure him in. I brought him a steaming hot cup and then headed to the fresher to get dressed.

“We’re going to outfit you with clone armor for this mission, that’s part of why I’m here early. I wanted to have enough time to get you fitted and dressed. We aren’t used to fitting armor to a woman” Rex said.

“I’d say not. Do you think there will be enough room in the chest?” I quipped. With that, I heard Captain Rex choke on his caf and go into a coughing fit.

“Sorry!” I yelled from the fresher. I could only imagine the look I was getting.

I came out of the fresher to find the Captain as composed as ever. You would have never known that he nearly suffered death by witty comment and hot caf five minutes earlier.

Captain Rex stood and moved to the door, “Ready?”

I grabbed my bag, stepped into the hallway, and paused to look at my small apartment, wondering if I’d ever see it again.

_______________________________________________

We arrived at the quartermaster’s to find a shiny new set of armor sitting on the counter. I immediately grabbed the helmet to try it on, only to find it to be too big. As I turned my head, it shifted from side to side. I couldn’t help but giggle a little, feeling like a child stealing their dad’s helmet. The captain cracked a smile.

“I think you need some extra padding,” he said as he took the helmet off my head. He added a few more pads to help tailor the fit. There hadn’t been time to get me a custom helmet.

“Oh, that’s much better”

“Are you ready to quit playing and try the rest on?” Rex asked with a small smile.

“Go ahead and put on the bottom half, then I’ll help you with the top half”.

The boots fit much better than the helmet. The codpiece was a little awkward, but I figured I’d get used to it, or at least use it to make obscene jokes.

“Here, let me help you with the back plate and breast plate, they’re a bit difficult until you get used to them.”

He snapped on the abdominal plate and then the breast and back plates. He stood behind me, adjusting everything. I could feel his breath on the back of my neck, and it was sending small shivers down my spine. The Captain was quiet and I yearned to break the silence, but didn’t know what to say.

“Captain-“

“Please call me Rex.” It was nearly a whisper. This sent even more shivers down my spine. Did he know what he was doing to me?

The moment- was it a “moment”?- was shattered.

“Hey! Red on the head, fire in the bed!” Fives hollered from across the room.

I laughed and rolled my eyes back as far as they would go.

He had called me that one night in med bay when he had been brought in, half passed out from a night at 79’s. One look at my red hair, and he’d uttered the phrase that had basically become my nickname. He said it to me every time I saw him in med bay, which was often.

“Fives! How are you? It’s been more than a couple weeks since I’ve seen your drunk carcass in med bay,” I jeered.

“Captain’s been keeping us out in the field a lot lately, he doesn’t believe in fun,” he said with a goofy grin on his face. Rex punched him in the shoulder.

Rex finished adjusting the breast plate and attaching my pauldrons. The left pauldron bore the red and white mark of a clone medic.

Fives had disappeared into the storage room and came back with a medic bag. He blew the dust off of it and handed it to me.

“Here, put this and your helmet on. Let’s see the whole thing,” he said.

I put them on and looked out of the helmet to see Rex and Fives beaming.

“You look great, doc,” Fives said.

“Fives, report to the launch bay, we’ll be along shortly,” Rex ordered.

“Yes, sir.”

Fives gave me a salute and a wink as he walked off. I gave him an audible huff and eye roll he couldn’t see through my helmet.

Rex chuckled.

“You’re going to fit in well here, you know.”

—————————

The hangar was a sight to behold with all of the clones in formation.

Rex gave a short motivational speech and ordered everyone into the transports.

“You stay with me, Fives, Jesse, Tup, Echo, Dogma, or Hardcase, and you’ll be fine,” Rex instructed.

I nodded and put my helmet on. I loaded into the crowded transport with them and we headed for the Jedi cruiser Resolute.

Coruscant faded away as we climbed higher.

________________________

The Resolute was bigger than I could have imagined. I had seen holo images of cruisers, but it doesn’t compare to seeing one for real. There were so many ships in the hangars. I walked past an AT-TE and stopped to marvel at the size.

“Wanna see the inside?” Hardcase asked.

“Hell yes I do!”

Hardcase beamed at my enthusiasm. His first loves were weapons and heavy equipment.

“This pretty girl can climb just about anything she encounters. She’s even got magnetized feet so she can climb metal,” he explained as I looked around the cockpit at all the buttons.

“She can even withstand being in space for a bit, since she can be pressurized. Sometime you’ll have to ask Rex about that adventure. Here, I’ll give you a boost up into the gunner’s seat.”

The gunner sat exposed, but I could easily see how it would be fun to mow down droids with the cannon. I looked down to see Rex looking up at us.

“Hardcase, it’s time to get everything ready for tomorrow, there’s lots to be done. Our medic there needs to get to her briefing, too,” he instructed.

“Thanks, Hardcase, this was fun, can you show me more another time?”

“Yep, anytime. It’s always my pleasure to show off my toys,” he had a cheesy grin stretching from ear to ear.

I hopped down and followed Rex to my first briefing.

________________________

Dinner followed the briefing. The boys were rowdy and there was a sense of excitement buzzing in the air. I ate my meal in near silence, being plenty entertained by the crass and ridiculous things the men of the 501st were discussing. It was clear that it helped keep their minds off of the coming battle.

It was late when I retired to my quarters, hoping to get a few hours of rest.

______________

Geonosis was barren, except for various rock formations. The night was eerily dark and Rex was alone. He walked the desert landscape, looking for any signs of life. He tried his comm again, only to be answered with broken static.

The Captain finally saw something in the distance, although he could not make it out. As he approached the shapes, Rex found Fives, Jesse, and her, laying on the ground. He removed their helmets, only to see dark voids where their eyes had been. Blood started pouring out of the chasms. Their lifeless bodies suddenly sat up, repeating “It’s your fault we’re dead.”

Rex’s eyes shot open and he awoke to find he was still in his bunk. He was covered in sweat and his heart was nearly beating out of his chest.

It was just a nightmare.

The nightmares never stopped.

Being a soldier was hard, but being a leader was harder. He never stopped wondering if he made the wrong decisions. He never stopped worrying about his vod. So many had died, and he still carried each one with him.

He decided to go to the mess hall for some caf. Might as well since he couldn’t sleep anyway. Rex walked past his men to the door. He was relieved to see Fives, Jesse, Tup, Echo, Hardcase, and Dogma, all asleep, snoring, in their bunks. He looked around and wondered which men he would lose tomorrow. A tear escaped and he let it fall, knowing that no one would see. He wiped the tears away and continued towards the mess.

The door slid open. The mess was empty except for her. She had her head down on a table, red hair splayed over her arms. He wondered how long she’d been here. Rex walked to her, gently calling her name. She didn’t even flinch. A cup of caf was beside her, ice cold, indicating she had been there for some time.

Rex laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Wake up, cyar'ika, you’ll be much more comfortable in your bed.”

She drowsily raised her head and brushed her hair back.

“Rex?” she asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

“Yeah, it’s me. C’mon, I’ll walk you back to your quarters.”

She stood up and stretched. There were lines across her face from where it had rested on her arm. Rex couldn’t help but smile.

They walked back to her quarters, making small talk along the way.

“I’m nervous, that’s why I couldn’t sleep,” she said spontaneously.

“I would expect you to be nervous,” he assured, “I won’t sugar coat it and say that it will be easy. It will likely be a bloodbath. But, we’ll be there to help you. We will get through this together.”

They stopped in front of her door and she turned to Rex, laying a hand on his arm.

“Thank you, Rex,” she said and then disappeared into her room.

He stood at the closed door for a minute, her touch still lingering.

“Sleep well, mesh’la.”

_________________________________________

I woke up early so I could check my medic bag and have a cup of caf before deploying.

The mess hall wasn’t busy, but there were a few clones up and about. I grabbed my caf and scanned the room. Jesse saw me and waved me to a table with him, Dogma, Echo, and Tup.

“ ‘Mornin, boys.”

“ ‘’Mornin, Doc,” they replied in near unison. It wasn’t uncommon for soldiers to call their medics “doc”. Field medics did it all.

“Where’s Fives and Hardcase?” I inquired.

“Those two will sleep til the last second,” Dogma said as he rolled his eyes. I’d been told Dogma was a stickler for rules. I expected he was early for everything.

I sat down next to Jesse, started sipping my caf, and inventorying my bag.

Bacta? Check.

IV supplies? Check.

Normal saline? Check.

Lasted ringers? Check.

Bandages? Check.

Tourniquets? Check.

The bag didn’t hold much, but it was enough to get the men back to the field hospital. I sat the bag on the floor and joined the conversation.

“You ready, Doc?” Tup asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess. You boys just try to keep from getting blown to bits and I’ll be fine,” I jeered. They laughed in agreement.

“Seriously? I’m scared shitless, but I know you guys have my back and that makes it better,” I admitted.

“It’s ok, I think everyone but Hardcase was scared on their first mission,” Jesse said.

I’d met Hardcase a few times in med bay. He never backed down from a fight, in fact, he usually went looking for it.

Our comms lit up and a voice announced that we needed to report to our gunships. We cleared the table and headed down to the hangar. As we entered the elevator, Fives and .

Hardcase came running down the hall,

“Hold the door, wait for us!” Fives shouted.

I held the door for them. Both were still finishing putting on their armor. I smiled and shook my head.

“Whhhaaattt?” Fives asked with a smile. “Better late than never, right?”captain

[help-im-a-gay-fish]

A Touch of Soul Searching (Dark Cream story)

The following is a prequal to ‘The birth of Sun and Moon’ Which is a 3 part story about the birth of my dark cream ship kids.

This takes place in the same universe the dark cream twins Celest and Luna are from, which is separate to @zu-is-here cannon universe. The story splits off somewhere around ‘The price of Happiness’. Any continuity errors should be accepted as being part of a alternative timeline.

Synopsis: The night the twins are conceived. Cross and Dream have currently been enjoying life as an engaged couple, but there are a couple things they are yet to explore about each other. Tonight they take their relationship to a new level.

Original Cross and Dream belong to Jakei95 and Jokublog

Original Shattered Dream belongs to galacii

Based off of darkcream by @zu-is-here

Warning, may contain some suggestive elements, but nothing pushes to far.

"you like that?"

"yeah just there... j-just like that"

"alright... How about this?"

"ah! Ooooh.. Yeah... don't stop"

Cross felt his face heat slightly, as his partner sighed in satisfaction. Saying that this was embarrassing would be a huge understatement. Every movement and every sound Dream made, only caused Cross' bones to colour more, though they had been a vibrant purple ever since Dream had asked him for a back rub. He carefully ran his hands across Shattered's back, concentrating on the shoulder blades and spine.

"y-you.." he stammered, before taking a breath to steady himself "Sure carry a lot of stress in your back huh? I was surprised you still get back pain, since you don't use your tentacles much"

Dream sighed again, "yeah.... I thought my back would stop hurting after I stopped wearing my heels... Guess we were both wrong"

There was a slight wrench in Cross' soul at Dream's words. 

The thought of Dream being in any kind of pain automatically upset him, even if it was as minor as back ache. The golden guardian had only ever wanted to help people, help him. He mentally cursed himself at the thought that it was him who pushed Dream over the edge in the end.

Despite his partner's constant insistence that it hadn't been him, Cross knew that he probably hadn't helped. These days he was just glad to have better emotional control, even if it wasn't perfect.

With another hint of tightness in his chest, Cross decided it was best not to lose focus on his task. His lover had a back ache and that's what massages where for right?

Dream currently lay on his front on their bed with his arms supporting his skull. Cross was sat, straddling him at the top of the back of his legs. He was leaning over him and rubbing his back with his hands.

For the most part, Dream as un aware of how awkward this pose was but Cross knew and was trying hard not to think about it. As cute and sweet as Dream’s innocence was, it could be slightly irritating sometimes.

Most people could probably tell that Cross had some mild....... frustrations. But of course Dream mattered more to him then those. He had long excepted that those kind of things may not ever be a part of their relationship, but everything else Dream offered was more then worth the sacrifice.

He calmed his thoughts and rubbed his hands with more weight against Dream. A few clicks of Dream's bones and another satisfied sigh told him he was doing a good job.

He didn't want to do anything to ruin this moment, it would have taken a lot for Dream to let his guard down enough so that Cross could do this, and he didn't want to break his trust. 

It had been quite a year, but for him and Dream things were looking up, they were feeling closer again.......like before and he was starting to regain hope in the future.  

As Dream felt Cross move his hands up and down his spine again, he smiled to himself. He could feel a slight warmth spread through his bones, it was a strange but good feeling. It wouldn’t last, but he was grateful to feel it anyway. Without realising, he let another sigh leave his mouth. Louder this time.

Cross paused. 'd-dam it.... Keep it together Cross' he told himself.

"Crossy?" Dream said inquisitively "are you alright?"

"......"

"Cross?"

"uhhhhhhh" Cross cleared his throat and went back to rubbing "y-yeah no worries"

Dream smiled again and nuzzled into the pillow beneath him.

"I like it when you touch me" he said softly.

If Cross hadn’t known any better, he’d have thought that Dream was doing this on purpose. But Cross knew that was impossible so he pushed thoughts from his mind and got back to work. He couldn't let his mind drift, he knew where it would drift to and somethings are much better left in a fantasy.

It was around this time Dream started to feel a little sleepy, he couldn't tell if it was due to too much positivity or if he was just relaxed. He felt more safe and at piece then he had in a long time.

However, as all things don’t, this wouldn’t last.

His feelings of peace and contentment where rewarded with a sudden dart of stinging in his soul. Sharp and angry like a snake bite. As a response he grit his teeth and arched his back, tensing his body is if trying to squeeze a poison out..

Cross once again paused and his soul flicked with worry. Yet he didn't say anything as he figured that it was the negative punishing Dream for the positive once again. 

Dream always told him off for making a big deal out of it, as he was always adamant to handle it without help. Though Cross moved his hand a little is a slow circling motion on Dream’s back, in an attempt to comfort and carry his lover though the pain.

After a short while, Shattered's body untensed, and he relaxed himself into the bed sheets with a low groan.

There was silence for a while as he caught his breath.

"..... Do you want me to stop Boss?" came Cross' voice from behind him. The nickname giving Dream a sense of being back in control, even if his soul wouldn't fully let him be.

"uh... No... No its quite alright, please do continue" he said in a slightly pained voice.

Cross sighed, not wanting to press the issue further, and slowly got back to work. As he did, Dream began to feel calm again, even if he couldn't fully ignore the light throbbing from his soul. Either way, his mind start wondering. Most likely to distract from the pain at first.

He started to focus on the feelings. The feeling of Cross' hands for one. Strong, yet gentle. The low hum of his beloved's magical aura. Not something a normal monster could feel, but as an energy being he could sense its comforting buzz from anywhere. It caused him to think about the feeling of Cross being so close.

It felt so amazing to be so close to him and for their bodies to be in contact. He wondered why it had taken so long to get to point such a point of intimacy.

But then he remembered.

They had always taken things much slower then any other couples it seemed to. They'd been together for years now.... But sometimes it didn't feel like it. Why had it taken him so long to let Cross touch him like this?

He pushed himself up onto his for arms, quick as a shot. Cross stopped thinking his soul was acting up again. Dream felt himself shake a small amount. No.... It shouldn't let himself think of stupid things.

"Dream?" Cross asked, and after getting no response, he slipped off of Dream's body and sat on the bed next to him.

"hey...Day Dream what's the matter? I didn't hurt you right? is it your soul?"

Dream shook his head and flopped down onto his face like an angry child. He muttered something into the sheets.

Cross laughed nervously "I uh... Can't hear you when you keep your face pressed into the bed love"

Dream grumbled again and then rolled over onto his back.

"why did it take so long?”

“huh?”

“I mean we'd been together for over a year before the corruption stuff happened"

His fiancé gave him a puzzled look and Dream remembered that Cross had no idea what he'd been thinking about.

"Cross I mean that...." he said, pausing for a moment to figure out how to put it into words

"This is the first time you've ever touched me that way... I just feel like we should have gotten further by now"

Cross blushed "uhhh"

Dream couldn't help but smile slightly at the sight of the familiar purple glow.

"You look like a glow stick" he teased.

"oi!" Cross replied "don't mock the blush when you made that blush happen"

Dream laughed and looked up at Cross with a smile, but it quickly faulted. "I mean it though Crossy..... Why so long?"

The former guards shoulders shrugged. This wasn't the kind of conversation he was prepared for.

"it's never really mattered to me, I'm happy where we are".

He's eyes met the golden guardian's "but you know I'd wait for ever for you". He moved and kissed his partner's gloopy forehead.

Dream felt love and positive emotions rush from Cross to him. It was so much that he felt dizzy for a moment. A smile couldn't help but spread across his face, despite the migraine threatening to happen. However, it still didn't make the nagging feeling go away. Running his hands along his gloopy arms, he continued to think.

Watching TV wasn't really something that Cross and he did often, but in the rare times he did, he couldn't help but notice something.

In the shows they did watch, Undernovela to name one, the people always seemed so much more intimate then he was with Cross. Their body language was a clear sign of that. And every so often they would touch each other, kiss each other, start to strip each other and then Cross normally turned it off.

Thanks to his partner, Dream had never actually seen how one of those scenes ended. It was his goal to one day watch one to completion. But for now, he could still remember the way they began at least.

This kind of closeness and touching..... Him and Cross had never really done that. It hadn't bothered him in the past, but right now he couldn't stop thinking about it.

"...... Cross?"

"yeah?"

"I want you to kiss me, but do it like they do in the movies"

At this point Cross was sure that someone could have cooked an egg on his face.

"w-what do you mean?!"

After thinking for a moment, Dream said, slightly unsure, "passion and a little heat I guess"

Cross pulled his turtle neck up over his face slightly "a-are you sure"

Suddenly laughter filled the room, coming from Dream. Seeing Cross like this was amazing. Something about it was just so hilarious. Comparing this blusy mess to the grumpy, cold persona Cross used to put up. It was just to much.

"oh my goodness! You are so embarrassed right now!"

Some slight frustration bubbled in Cross as Shattered laughed at him. But this was soon replaced with a playful hunger. Well.... If he wants to be kissed like that...

As Dream laughed, he felt as Cross climb on top of him and pin his wrists next to his head. He paused and looked up at him, feeling his face get burning hot.

"looks like you’re the glow stick now~" Cross said with a sly smirk. Dream glared, but his face got hotter.

"you want me to kiss you like they do in the movies?" he said, leaning in closer to Dreams face.

He had a playful look in his eyes and his hands gripped Dream's wrists slightly harder.

His emotions and feelings weren't feelings Dream could easily identify or recognise. As much as a part of him hated to admit it, he liked this side to Cross. The dominance was strangely attractive.

Cross could sometimes be so gentle and passive that Dream felt like Cross thought he was breakable. This was different. Cross was being a bit more forward and Dream felt a little excited.

"Yes please....." the smaller skeleton replied.

With that Cross kissed him. If Dream had felt like he melted when Cross kissed him before, it was nothing compared to this.

There was more passion and heat coming from this then he'd ever felt in his whole life. He couldn't help but let out a slight muffled moan.

That noise was new.... In fact this whole thing was new, it brought a whole lot of new feelings. He felt the need to wrap his arms around Cross and keep him there but of course Cross still had his arms pinned.

Cross leaned forward more, he couldn’t think of a time he’d every enjoyed kissing someone more, so much so he was starting to forget himself. So he deepened. He slipped his tongue inside Dreams mouth slyly and ran it around hungerly.

Feeling this, Dream opened his eyes wide. This sensation was very alien to him and he shuddered starting to feel a slight panic rising. His soul started racing and his body trembled. This was making him feel suddenly very strange and vulnerable. It was to much. To much to much! No stop!

Luckily, Cross noticed his partner's discomfort and parted the kiss. Now Shattered’s mouth was free, he took some long deep breaths. 

After a brief moment of confusion, Cross realised what had probably freaked Dream out.

He felt like an complete idiot, you had to go slow with Dream. Dream didn't have a lot of experience with that kind of thing, of course over sensitising him would upset him. He should have known better. Cursing himself, he let go of Shattered and got off him, sitting beside him.

"sorry....I..... Are you alright?"

Dream continued to take deep breaths, to calm his soul and nodded. His body was all warm and funny feeling. Now he was thinking clearer, it wasn't bad really, but it was very very new and strange.

"y-your tounge got broken again" he said before taking another deep breath.

"...... yeah.... I know, I got a little carried away, I won't do it again. I promise"

Dream could sense a lot of guilt coming from Cross. There was still many feelings he didn't recognise, but guilt was among them. Cross felt that often enough that Dream could recognise it easily. 

Did he feel bad for upsetting him? That was silly... Dream had asked him to kiss him that way.

He seemed to feel really bad though. His dark side, flipped in delight at the negative emotions to snack on. But despite that, Dream didn't like Cross feeling like that.

The kiss had been really good! Really really good. It had just been a lot of new feelings.

He didn't want Cross to feel bad and he didn't want Cross to be afraid to do it again. In fact the thought of Cross going back to treating him like he was breakable made him feel upset. He was a very good kisser after all.

"Cross it's OK you know" he said, sitting up.

Cross looked at him with a guilty face. Dream cupped his cheek with his hand.

"I really liked it Crossy! I promise"

Cross smiled slightly.

"you just caught me a little off guard, that's all" he said softly.

He leaned over and nuzzled Cross' face

"I still Love you so much so don't worry about that!"

A light chuckle left Cross' mouth "I know Daydream, I love you so much too"

More pain, yet the smaller ignored it and continued to nuzzle him.

"just a little bit of warning next time, OK?"

Yeah that sounded alright. Cross thought and nuzzled his partner back. Next time...

Wait next time!?

"Next time!?" he exclaimed pulling back.

"yeah next time" Dream said with a puzzled look slipping onto his face "we are gonna do this again right?"

Dream narrowed his eyes, Cross was giving him a 'deer in the headlights' look. He could tell what he was thinking though. He was once again to afraid to hurt him.

"Cross... I’m going to tell you something, and I need you to listen to me" he said in a firm tone. 

Cross sheepishly nodded

"I want to be able to be valuable around you, but I can't because it will just prove to you that you need to protect me.... I don't need a guard I need a-

-partner" Cross said, cutting him off.

Dream paused before replying "yes exactly"

Cross' eyes glanced for a moment at Dream's ankle. "I.... I know that Dreamboat I just-

"my ankle...." Dream said cutting in.

"huh"

Shattered shifted his feet "you were thinking about what happened with Killer again..... Weren't you?"

"......."

Protesting wouldn't have helped. Dreams gaze was cutting into him, there was no use lying.

"yeah......"

Shifting his feet again, Dream let out a defeated sigh.

"You know that I could totally take on killer these days..... You can't just" he shifted his foot again "........ You still see me as how you saw me back then?"

Cross faltered slightly and avoided his partner's gaze.

Dream seemed slightly irritated now

"I'm not the same being I was back then, and neither are you." Dream said plainly and before Cross could reply he added.

"when you still treat me like that..... It makes me feel like I can't be weak around you..... That I can't show myself to you..."

Guilt radiated from Cross, as the former positively guardian spoke. It felt like a knife twisting in him. He was always so afraid to hurt Dream, that sometimes he was to afraid to do anything. To put it bluntly, he had no reason to really feel this way, the gloopy being could easily snap his neck if he desired to.

"Dream.... I never thought I'd ever get to be with someone as amazing as you... I don't want to lose you, I very almost did"

It was Dreams turn to tense now.

"one moment I tell myself that you are strong...... So strong you don't even need me! But the next...." Cross sighed in a defeated way and sagged his shoulders.

He felt like anything he could say would just be an excuse at this point. There were so many thoughts and feelings he didn't know how to properly explain them. So instead he said the first thing that came to mind.

"you.... Sometimes you are still a bit of a kid really". The moment he said it, he hated himself for saying it. Though in that moment he'd forgotten Dream could read his emotions.

A frown crept onto Dreams face, upon recognising the negative cocktail brewing in Cross. This was an important issue in their relationship, but it was probably best not to press it much further now. His inner excitement at his partner's emotions was making Dream feel a little sick, so he couldn't bare to draw out this conversation more. Instead, he portend scoffed at the conversation.

"a kid? Me? Ha!" he said, his voice being playful and inviting Cross to play along.

Catching onto the playful tone, Cross smiled.

"Well I'm sorry to tell you this Boss, but you are as naïve as a small child around most matters"

Shattered pretend gasped "How dare you!" he put his hands on his hips "I will have you know that I have grown up knowledge!"

Cross raised an eyebrow "like what?"

Dream's smile told Cross that he'd been wanting him to say that. "well I know that a honeymoon isn't going to the moon and eating honey." he stated.

"oh really?" Cross said, laughing slightly.

"yep!" Dream said proudly. Before leaning in close to Cross like a child sharing a secret.

"I even know that people do lots of grown up stuff on honey moons! I don't know what these grown up things are.... But I know people do them"

Cross let out a low chuckle at that and Shattered was thrilled to see that Cross felt better, even with another bitter ache running through his core as a result.

"I know Dream boat..... The angry baby is all grown up" he teased. 

Poking his tounge out, Dream booped Cross' nose 

"He is indeed! And as a grown up he wants you to treat him as an equal"

Cross let out a proper laugh now.

Dream felt momentarily satisfied. But it wasn't quiet enough. 

It looked to him like Cross wanted to continue the game....well he did have one more trick, since he was feeling playful. His face twisted into a thin smile and his eye gleamed.

"although....." he said in a low voice, leaning forward towards Cross. Gloved hands moved off the bed and ran themselves slowly long Cross' leg bones.

"if you want.... I could try taking a bit more of a dormant roll" he purred.

More heat instantly rushed to Cross' face, at the sudden contact. The mood had well and truly changed. It was a warm purple blush that hadn't left him since they started this whole thing.

Sliding his hands to Cross' hips slowly, Dream moved forward a bit again. Shattered took great pleasure in Cross' face of embarrassment. There was a part of him that missed doing this. He missed the tease. The delicious feast of emotions radiating from his partner. Cross should have known that Dream always won when they played.

Cross felt as Dream's hands place themselves on his ribs. The fingers curling in the fabric of his jumper. He shivered under Dreams touch and his two coloured eyes locked with Dreams. He tried to say something, but could only stammer.

With that Dream broke. He couldn't take it anymore, snorting and bursting out laughing again. He was just too easy to fluster, it was brilliant. He fell over onto his side, his body convulsing against their bed in his laughter.

"you should see the look on your face right now!" he said, losing the smoothness of his tone and returning to his jolly happy voice.

Cross set up straight as stiff as a board and chest flushed out slightly "Dream! are you trying to give me a heart attack!?"

Dream smirked "oh no, your boss is just having a little fun with you~"

Cross shook his head "you are just terrible sometimes". 

He smiled "you're lucky that I've been in love with you for years"

With a sigh Dream sat back up. "Feeling better now my love?" he asked gently. Cross nodded.

"yeah...I'm sorry for getting all freaked out, I just...."

"..... Just?" Dream prompted.

"my magic and emotions can sometimes be a little..... Unstable.... If I lose control, if I hurt you...."

And there is was, just like it always was, Cross' fear of hurting him. It seemed that they had circled back round again.

"if I may quote myself,... if only you could" Dream said with a soft smile appearing on his face.

"I know you couldn't hurt me even if you wanted to"

Cross sighed and took a moment to reflect. He knew that Dream was right. Dream had said the same thing to him many times in the past. Maybe the past was the problem.

"sometimes I still see you as the same skeleton I fell in love with all those years ago" Cross said.

Dream rolled his eyes slightly "I'm pretty sure the 2 pounds of gloopy slime is enough evidence that I'm not"

The two where able to share a laugh this time.

“still...” Cross said, calming his laughter.

"even with a black liquorice coating, you have the same sweet centre you always have".

"...."

"Your soul is enveloped in negativity, but it's still pure from the inside out..."

As much as Dream wanted to, he couldn't stop the warmness in his cheek bones. But also, his chest twisted at Cross' sweet words.

"heh..." he chuckled "you wouldn't say that if you could see it"

The attempt self depreciating humour had been in an effort to make himself feel less awkward. But instead it made a lump form in his throat.

However, he chose to double down.

"y-you'd be repulsed at the sight of me" he stated placing his gloved hand on his chest and tugging slightly at the fabric.

"I don't think so"

Dream looked up.

"Cross I know what I'm talking abou-

"then show me"

Dreams grip on the fabric of his collar tightened. "what" he breathed.

"you are beautiful.... Inside and out.... I want to prove that"

He sounded so sure. Firm, but not forceful. There was a look of determination that Dream could recognise in his eyes.

His fingers once again tugged at his collar, though this time he could also feel the hum of the magic gathered under his ribs. He told himself he was mad for considering this, but a determined Cross was as stubborn as a mule. He wouldn't let this go, so it was probably best to get it over with.

"ok....." he whispered.

After telling himself to be a grown up and bite the bullet, he squeezed his eyes shut and pulled the soul from his chest.

Shattered scrunched his shoulders and waited. 

He waited for Cross to be disgusted or repulsed by the sight of his rotten soul. For him to tell him to put it away. But Cross didn't say that. In fact, as Dream opened his good eye, he saw the guard has a look of wonder on his face, taken in by the beauty of it. It was unlike anything Cross had ever seen.

"beautiful..." he said in a near whisper, which immediately caused Dreams face to flush, both out of embarrassment and surprise.

But Cross didn't notice as his gaze was still fixed on the soul.

"Does it.." he said softly "does it hurt?"

Dreams face dropped into a frown. He nodded "more then you can imagine"

He avoided Cross' eye contact, but felt Cross' sadness. Then he felt something else. Something softly bush against his soul.

He jumped and fixed his gaze to Cross again. Cross sheepishly retracted his hand. He'd been reaching forward to touch the soul and now he felt like an idiot. Dream just stared at him, mulling over what had just happened.

"i-i-im sorry I...." Cross stuttered. What was he thinking? Why did he do that? He had no right to touch Dream's soul. His partner had finally felt confident enough to show him it and he'd pushed to far. 

What was wrong with him today?!

"I d-don't know why I-

But then he was shushed by a gloved finger being pressed to his mouth.

"shhhh... Don't speak" Dream purred softly.

If Cross' face could get any hotter, in that moment it did. Dream pulled his hand away from his mouth and took Cross' hand in his. He guided Cross' hand up to his soul.

"I want you to touch it"

He must have miss heard him right? There was no way..... But as Dream spread his fingers and allowed them to wrap around the soul, it became very clear that he hadn't. 

Cross wanted to say something, do something... Anything. But he was so afraid to ruin it. This moment felt so breakable, one wrong move could send there progress backwards. But he knew he had to say something.

"a-are" he calmed his nerves "are you sure?"

"You are scared Cross.... I know you are, but if any one will ever touch me like this, I only want it to be you"

Shattered himself struggled to keep his voice from shaking. He'd never felt so vulnerable, so exposed, but he was also full of anticipation. 

Cross' fingers where only lightly around him, hardly touching, it was like he was teasing him.

Cross closed his fingers around the soul slightly more, Dream shuddered as he did.

"if you want me to stop at any point Dreamboat, say apple ok?"

"Apple?" Dream asked, tilting his head "A code word?"

Cross nodded.

"Alright" he said, bracing himself for the pending contact "If I want you to stop, I'll say Apple"

And with that Cross began. He made sure to go slow, timidly running his fingers against it. It pulsed in his hand slightly, the magical energy felt warm and comforting.

Dreams body gave a lurch as Cross started and he squeezed his eyes shut. This was new, very very new.

For a moment he was tempted to say apple, being slightly overwhelmed. But as he started to get used to the feelings he was being presented with, he relaxed. Opening his eye sockets again he saw his partner looking at him with a very worried expression. 

He'd stopped.

"I... I..." Dream said trying to catch his breath "I didn't say apple"

Cross nodded and took that as a sign to keep going.

Dream leaned forward and rested his head on Cross' shoulder. As alien sensations continued to fill him, he weakly gripped the front of Cross' jumper. His fingers curled into the fabric and tugged slightly. 

These feelings overcoming him where strange but incredible to feel. He all at once felt weaker and stronger then he ever had and he wanted more.

He gripped the jumper tighter and pulled himself up to Cross' eye level. Their eyes locked together as Dream felt Cross' fingers continue to gently stroke the soul. Cross' face was that of excitement, confusion and nervousness.

Dream looked down to Cross' broad chest and he started to run his hands across it. His partner tense and then relaxed as he did. Being this close, Dream took a moment to appreciate Cross' ribs. 

He'd seen them a few times but now, as he traced them through his jumper with his fingers, he'd truly noticed how handsome of a skeleton Cross was. Without realising, he started to pull up Cross' shirt up slightly.

But Cross immediately caught Shattered's hands in his own and pushed them back down.

"l-let's leave clothes on.... ok?"

Dream gave a disgruntled wine at the fact that Cross had let go of his soul. His fingers let go of Cross' jumper and he leaned back a bit. 

He was about to ask why he’d stopped him, when he noticed Cross' emotions being strange. 

They were new and very very intense. 

There was something carnal brewing in the soldier, and it was clearly making Cross nervous.

"are you ok?" Dream questioned, feeling worried.

"I've just..." he said nervously "I've never done this before"

"you think I have?" Dream retorted

"what! No, of course not" Cross replied.

He twisted his locket on his fingers "I-I've done intimate things with people before... Not much mind you" a brighter purple hue decorated his face.

",... But this?....this is more intimate then I've ever been with a person"

Dream tilted his head slightly and frowned.

"I guess... I’m just a little nervous Dreamy"

Dream gently took his chin in his free hand and tilted his head upwards. He'd give Cross a soft and tender kiss on the mouth. He felt Cross melt a bit, which made him smile into the kiss.

He pulled back and smiled wider "it will be alright.. I trust you completely"

His tone was sweet and caused Cross' soul to thump. He considered how he'd had a hold on Dreams soul just moments before and wondered how it had felt to Dream.

Dream placed Cross' hands on his hips now and placed his back on the guards chest. Cross tensed under his grip but didn't move his hands. Dream used this as an opportunity to move himself closer to cross, to try and close the gap between them. Cross' soul was beating against his hand through his chest and it tweaked at Dream's curiosity.

Cross moved his hands up slightly to where he could feel the base of Dreams ribs through his clothes. There was no doubt in his mind that Dream was unaware of what kind of things he was doing to him right now and he had no intention of taking advantage. 

The way Dream was acting was something he'd only seen his most shameful fantasies that this point, so much so that he was fighting to keep grip on his imagination. The more he fought the more anxious he felt.  

"Cross why are you so tense?" Dream questioned, which turned Cross' attention back on him.

It was only when he tried to relax, that Cross noticed how tense he'd become.

"do you need to say apple?" came Dreams sweet voice again. Cross pondered the question for a moment, then slowly nodded.

The moment he saw Cross nod, Dream shifted his body away and removed his hands from his chest. Through Cross was sad to lose the hold he had on Dream, he felt mostly relieved as his soul continued to thump.

"I could feel your soul beating very fast...." Dream said, "did I do something wrong?"

He seemed quite nervous now himself. Cross sighed and placed his hand on his chest, over where is heart would be if he had one.

"n-no you didn't" he said taking a few deep breaths "I'm just not sure what you wanted to do from here".

That was a good question. Dream had mostly been letting his instincts drive him. What was it that he wanted? He pondered this, tapping his finger against his own chest, where his soul had returned, as if mimicking the beat of Cross' soul. Then he realised.

"I want to touch your soul"

Whatever Cross had been expecting or thinking, hadn't been anywhere near that. That wasn't something he'd ever even considered.

His soul was a mess, he knew that. His first thought was to refuse, but as he looked again into Dream's eyes, his resistance faltered.

Shattered was looking at him with a soft expression. Not one he'd truly seen in the longest time. The transformation had changed Dreams eyes from what they once were. But in that moment Dream's gaze was every bit as warm and welcoming as it had once been those years ago.

Not only did it help ease away any desires to resist, but it also helped him to calm is own self down. Dream had always had a way of calming him, whether it be though touch or words. It was a sense of calm unlike another.

It was his vulnerability that Dream was asking for and his complete trust. His soul wasn't just something that he willing showed to anyone.... But Dream wasn't just anyone.

What was happening between then tonight was very special. It was something far beyond the intimacy of sex and that meant it was something so much better.

He smiled softly and nodded, resting his hand on his own chest. Dream smiled and sat back on his feet, waiting expectantly. 

Feeling the throb of the magic gathered in his ribs, Cross' anxiety crept in slightly. But he took a long, deep breath and allowed his magic to pull the glowing mass of energy and determination from under his jumper.

He glanced down at the formless substance in his hand as the magic swirled into forming the rough shape of a heart. He narrowed his eyes at the sight of red and white, then looked back at Dream.

His partner was watching him very closely and Dream's focused face told him he was trying to read his emotions.

"it's not much to look at......" he stated, as Dream continued to stare

"it's perfect" the guardian said softly. "because its you"

As Dream had anticipated, there was a wave of positivity from Cross which hit Dream like a bucket of boiling water, sending a deep burning feeling through his bones. He tensed his knuckle, but didn't react in any other way. Closing his eyes, he took a breath.

"thank you...."

Cross' voice caused him to open his eyes again.

"h-here....." the soldier said softly, moving his hand and soul into Dream's reach.

It was a small amount of time before the burning fully subsided and Dream slowly moved his gloved hand forwards. 

With as much care as he could muster, he took the essence from Cross' fingers.

The soul felt strange. Not quite solid and not quite un solid. It was like a combination of all 3 states. Gas, liquid and solid.

The incorporeal essence felt pleasant in his hand, and he had a strong desire to remove his gloves to feel it properly. But he didn't feel quite relaxed enough to show Cross his hands state. So Instead he contracted his index finger to give the soul a conservative stroke. The reaction from his companion was audible. Not a sound that he was familiar with, but one he felt the desire to hear again.

He didn't look up at Cross, but when the skeleton saw the way Dream was smiling as he observed his soul, he felt extremely jittery. The anxiety was raising in his chest again and sticking an acidy taste in the back of his throat. But he didn't dare say a word to stop Dreams actions.

Again the former positive being, ran his finger up and down, across the surface. Once more he enjoyed the sounds that came from Cross. But now, he felt a need for more. To see how far he could push.

So cautiously, he nuzzled it, feeling as the warm magic brushed against his face. The warmth was very pleasant and conforming.

It vibrated in his fingers as he squeezed it lightly, smiling as Cross gasped in response. A little bit of teasing was always fun.

Even if Cross denied it, Dream knew he loved to be teased. Again he flexed his fingers and nuzzled the magic. There was a light hum in his own chest as he did so, followed by a very slight pain which he ignored. His eye moved to looking at his partner, hoping to see a reaction.

Cross was sat with his legs crossed and his shoulders hunched. From what Dream could sense he was enjoying himself and knowing Cross, he was probably trying not to enjoy himself to much. The purple blush had travelled down his neck now, not quite as vibrant, but still.

He shivered at the feeling of Dreams breath against him.

Getting an idea, Dream nipped the mass in his hand in a playful way, being delighted by the yelp Cross made. He made sure to catch Cross' eye, before smirking devilishly and placing a soft kiss on the soul's surface.

Then, after a short moment of intense eye contact, he chuckled slightly and moved his hand with the soul away from his mouth.

"alright, I'll stop"

The soldier breathed a sigh of relief, despite being slightly disappointed. As embarrassing as that was, he'd by lying if said he didn't enjoy it.

Dream reached his hand out and offered the soul back to Cross. As Cross went to take it, Dream clenched his fingers around it slightly.

"Dream?" Cross ask, worried that Dream was going to start teasing him again.

Dream on the other hand was thinking quite a lot, as he continued to feel the warm magic in his fingers. There was something going on with his own soul, he could feel it, a kind of throbbing, humming, something.

After a while, Dream let go of Cross' soul and Cross took it back, holding it in his own hand.

As Cross carefully returned it to his chest, Shattered's soul burned slightly. A realisation of what the feeling in his soul was, hit Dream like a slap in the face. It was a desire for more.

Dream caught Cross' arm "Wait!"

Cross froze and stared at his lover.

"I want...." Dream started, being unable to figure out how to say what he wanted. This kind of thing wasn't something he was accustomed to and it wasn't something he'd taken the time to research or understand better in the past. He'd only been a child back then after all.

At that very moment he wished he could ask his twin for help. But he forcefully pushed that wish from his mind before he could think about it for to long.

It had probably been touching Cross' soul which had awoke a long dormant piece of him, something he'd never have thought anyone would make him feel.

"I want our souls to..."

He placed his hand on his chest and pulled out the still rotting apple. Yet this time the magic was less of a solid shape. It had been reduced to a swirling mass of gold and black, which flickered around his fingers like flames.

The former guard stared in both wonder and concern at the new sight.

"..... I want our souls to be one"

Silence.

A very loud silence. Cross could do nothing but look from Dreams face to his soul then back again. After repeating that a few times he looked away.

There was probably about one thousand different thoughts going through the soldier's mind. The request... The implications and what the act itself would involve.

It was in essence soul sex. Just that realisation made his face burn. It was something he'd heard of in the past, but not something most monsters took part in. Only a few tried it, as he'd heard it could have extreme consequences.

He fixed his gaze back to being directly in Dreams eyes. The skeleton seemed nervous, but he also seemed quite sure. 

He sat, arm out slightly, with his soul flicking in his palm. It was almost like he was offering it to Cross. A temptation.

Yet, Cross was still wildly unsure how to react. Every possible way that he could respond, ran though his head so fast, it was impossible to pick one. Yes? No? Maybe? What was it that Dream actually wanted him to do? Did Dream even fully understand what he was asking? What if some bad happ-

But then, before he could finish that thought, he became distracted. Dream closed his eyes and took a long deep breath, his fingers tightening around his own soul slightly. He sighed in a near meditative way. It was this that got Cross to focus on him again.

After a few short moments he opened his good eye slowly and again, looked directly at Cross. The gold of his eye was truly mesmerising and matched the soul perfectly, the same colour as a forbidden treasure.

Then, slowly Dream moved again, reached his free hand forward and placing it on Cross' chest. For a moment he felt Cross' mock-heartbeat under his hand, never breaking eye contact.

It was still silent in the room, but less of a loud kind. It was comfortable and more soft.

Dream's fingers lightly gripped Cross' jumper, as he studded his face for a sign of resistance.

He didn't move again and only continued to feel the beat. His face remained serious, but gentle... As if he was asking permission.

Cross could feel his soul beating against Dreams hand, and could see that Dream's soul was beating in rhythm with it. Connected.

Slowly, he placed his own hand on his chest, over Dream's.

"ok.... "

He didn't need to say anything else. It was a simple word, but it the perfect one.

Together they drew their hands back, pulling forth a string of magic with it. Once it had formed its shape Dream moved his hand back to his own soul.

".... ok..... " Dream said softly "are you ready?"

"Yes" Cross replied, but after picking up on some slight hesitation, he asked "Are you?"

"......... I..."

It was Dream's turn to get lost in thought now. He suddenly felt very scared at the prospect of what he was doing. He tried to relax himself, to no effect. Maybe he couldn't do this.

"it's ok to change your mind"

Dream would never know how such simple words, could make him feel so good. This wasn't a random person he was doing this with. It was Cross. His soldier, his partner. The one who made him feel truly safe. That thought granted him true courage.

He smiled

"... I don't need to, I'm ready"

With that, it was time to begin.

In the flickering state his soul was in, Dream's soul was clearly drawn to Cross' as they were moved closer together.

The two skeletons watched carefully at the display of red and gold light and guided both souls to the point of almost touching. Once the souls fused, they couldn't be separated by force, this was the last chance to back out. But neither did, and nodded to one another, moving their hands away and allowing the souls to take over.

It felt like a life time before the two souls finally touched.

Cross grit his teeth as an attempt to prevent himself from letting out some inappropriate noises. Though he could prevent them all. Luckily, Dream didn't seem to notice this. He was lost in his own feelings and his hand gripped his fingers into the fabric of the bed sheets.

"¡Oh Dios! santa mierda" he hissed, before groaning slightly.

In a normal situation Cross would have been shocked to hear his beloved curse. However in that moment he wasn't bothered in the slightest

"yeah... Y-you said it my love" Cross replied, taking a few deep breaths to collect himself.

No sooner had he gotten used to the sensations he was being presented with, then the souls sparked and pulsed pushing together more. Both skeletons felt this and let out some strained wines, yet there was more to come, as it was nowhere near over yet.

Dream closed his eyes to allow himself to lose himself in the sensation again. It was something so new. But unlike earlier, new didn't feel scary. It felt right. Opening his eyes again, he looked at Cross. He wanted to be closer to him.

He shifted his legs and shuffled on the bed. Noticing his movement, Cross copied so that they were once again sat across from each other.

Cross leaned forward and touched their foreheads together, feeling the coldness of Dream's crown on his warm bones.

"h-how" Cross said with a shaky breath "how you d-doing?"

"Placer más allá de las palabras" Dream basically panted, pulling back a bit so his head away from Cross. His face was flushed and his expression caught up in bliss. Cross couldn't help but match his smile and reached out to stroke his partner's cheek, brushing some gloop away.

For a moment they just enjoyed this simple contact and Dream turned to nuzzle Cross' fingers. Such a small act, but it made more warmth spread through Cross.

It was then that this moment was interrupted by there souls once again pulsing together. As the magic curled around each other, both parties felt more heat and sighed out each others names.

Their hands found each others and gripped together, hanging on for dear life as the magic continued to swell and then the souls pushed together all the way.

This stole the air right out of both of them. It was real now. They were connected. After a moment they locked eyes and not a second later Dream spoke.

"¡Bésame ahora!"

Cross didn't hesitate for a moment.

In a flash their mouths where pressed together in the sweet agony of a passionate kiss. They were over whelmed now and over come with strong desires. 

The kiss continued, as they moved from sitting, to rolling around on the bed sheets. The fabric wrapping around their legs and tangling their limbs together. How they ended up there? Neither could tell you. Who was on top? Neither could say.

Dreams crown knocked off and fell to the floor with a clang as the two continued. Neither noticed or cared. They were lost in the sensations and in the feeling of each other at this point.

There was no crown. No curse. No anything. Just each other and that was it. There was nothing either of them wanted more then to express that.

Not Cross or Dream could tell you how long it lasted. All they knew is by the time there souls had separated they were completely tangled in each other.

It was quite an awkward pose to get out of, as they un-weaved their legs and arms. The awkward silence turned into the two breaking into a fit of laughter as Cross couldn't fight his legs free of the blanket.

In the end they managed to separate and lay down next to each other. Not a word was spoken as they stared face to face, enjoying the euphoria and the sound of the other breathing. It was like the ending of a rom com, where the two main characters have that perfect soft moment with each other. It was that perfect moment.

As the magic settled and they slowly fell asleep in each others arms, they had no idea the path they had set in motion. Or who would be greeting them a short while later.

,<3

[raiseyourcups]

A Girl with No Name

Chapter One

Pairing: Din Djarin x F!Reader Warnings: panic attack, canon-typical violence Word Count: 1.3k Also on AO3 Masterlist

Summary: It had been a normal day for you and the Child and then you were taken from the mercenary compound by a Mandalorian. Little did any of you know what you would go through together. 

Note: A new series! Yay! But it probably won’t update as fast as Cabur which will keep it’s schedule until I finish Season 1. I’ll try to keep this updated at least once a week but I cannot commit to a specific day. I’m sorry about that.

You never knew where you came from or who your parents were. You didn’t remember what had happened or what planet you had been taken from. Someone had taken you to Takodana where you stayed for a while, Maz Kanata somehow not able to find your chain code at all according to her. Even as a child, you knew she was lying. The people that took you there told you your name was Y/N now and who were you to disagree? You didn’t know any different so you became Y/N.

After that you bounced from place to place, taking as many small jobs as you could. It was mostly you offering to help load ship cargo in exchange for passage to the next planet. The whole time wondering who you were, only the quickest of flashes coming to you before fading away. The only thing your hidden memories gave you was a crippling fear of the sound of blasters and nightmares that you never remembered. And a lullaby that you didn’t know the words to anymore. 

Now you were on a tiny desert planet, stuck in a single room with a tiny green child that you had been charged with caring for. Not that you had much of a choice. The mercenaries wouldn’t let you leave the room except for a solar hour every day for some sun and they watched you with hands on their blasters. You had learned to hide your trembles at the sight of them but it had taken a long time. 

At the moment you were cradling the Child in your arms, swaying and humming a song you had no memory of learning as you tried to ease him to sleep. You had worked out a schedule for him in order to keep your sanity and track of time. Breakfast as the sun rose, a short nap before lunch, an hour outside after lunch, another short nap before dinner, then finally sleep after dinner. The hour outside had been taken away recently, more and more bounty hunters trying to get into the compound for some reason.

You weren’t sure why bounty hunters were trying to get in, neither you nor the Child were of importance. The Nikto mercenaries had made quick work of the previous attempts although their numbers were dwindling with each one. 

But you didn’t know that today would finally throw everything off-kilter. You had just placed the Child back into his cradle when the first blasters went off. 

“No!” You brought your hands up to cover your head despite there being no immediate danger. You brought your hands back down, trying to still your now racing heart. The Child made a scared noise and looked at you with his wide eyes. 

“I’m sorry, everything’s gonna be okay. Those guys will take care of it again,” you whispered, tucking the Child’s blanket around him. Something told you that you were wrong though and as the blasters kept going off, you feared you were right. You heard the front doors shut, the sound echoing throughout the room and then there was a quiet that fell over the room. 

It was broken by the loud alarm going off, mercenaries shouting as they ran through the compound and you flinched at the noises but there were no more blaster shots. No one would come in to tell you what was happening anyway. All you could do was hope they could hold off the intruders. 

There was another rush of blaster fire and you couldn’t stop yourself from dropping to the floor and covering your ears again. You rocked yourself back and forth, the sound too much for you and flashes of memories you couldn’t decipher came forward. When you heard the laser cannon go off your breath started coming out quicker. 

Your chest felt tight and you were sure that you were going to pass out but you needed to protect the Child. You clenched your hands into fists and forced yourself to hold your breath for ten counts before releasing it, repeating until you could think again. By the time you had the laser cannon had stopped firing and you didn’t think the mercs had been on the winning side. 

You grabbed netting from nearby and went to the Child’s side. “You need to stay quiet, please,” you whispered before shutting the cradle and tossing the netting over it. Then you hid behind the far doorway and you held your breath. 

There were a few more timed blasts from the cannon followed by the front gate slamming to the ground was your answer. A merc that you hadn’t seen popped out from around the corner but was immediately shot down.  

“Anyone else?” A voice called out, it sounded like it was voice modulated. But you didn’t have time to think about that anymore when a droid spoke and you cursed. You couldn’t hide from a droid. 

“My sensors indicate that there are two life forms present.”

“Whoever’s there, come out and I promise to let you leave alive.”

Well you didn’t really have a choice,  did you? You brought your hands up and slowly walked out of the doorway. “Please don’t hurt me.”

You were taken aback to see it was a Mandalorian, you had only read about them. You hoped that this one was as honorable as the HoloNet said they were. The droid was an IG unit and that put you on edge. 

“Female human, age unknown, matches the tracking fob.” The IG unit said, turning it’s head to look at the Mandalorian. 

He looked at her, helmet tilted slightly before he spoke. “Where’s the other one?”

You shook your head a little before asking a very important question. “Do you promise not to hurt us?”

“Yes.” The Mandalorian answered immediately and even with the voice modulator you found yourself trusting him. You nodded your head towards the Child’s cradle and watched as they walked over to it. The Mandalorian pressed the button to open it and stared down at the Child. 

“They said it was 50 years old.”

“He is,” you said from where you were. “I don't know what species he is but they age differently.”

“She is correct, this one could live for centuries.” The droid said before starting to lift his blaster. “Sadly we’ll never know.”

“No!” You shouted at the same time the Mandalorian stopped the droid. 

“We’ll bring it in alive, both of them.”

“The commission was quite specific, the assets were both to be terminated.” The droid lifted a second blaster and aimed it at you as well as the Child. You squeezed your eyes shut as a blaster went off but when you didn’t feel a burning pain, you opened your eyes again. The droid was on the ground, a smoking hole through its head. 

You watched as the Mandalorian held a finger out towards the Child who took a hold of it. His big brown eyes stared up the helmet-clad man in wonder before he glanced over at you and cooed. 

“Can I move now?” You asked quietly.

“Yes but don’t run.” There was barely a threat in his voice and you wondered if he had meant to do it. 

You looked at him with a small smile, “You said you wouldn’t hurt us, I trust you.” You don’t know what made you say that, he was a bounty hunter, paid to find you and take you to whoever wanted you. But there was something familiar about him, about the armor, that made you trust him despite not knowing who he was. 

The Mandalorian stared at you as you walked over to the Child and looked him over. He was fine since the Mandalorian had stopped the droid from shooting even the cradle. A silence fell over the three of you as you wondered what happened now.