#i think i might be dying from shutting myself in for almost a week

[xervn]

like a french girl 🎨

part 3 - french girl | art major ellie x dance major reader

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ao3 link

summary: ellie had been struggling with finding the perfect model for her art final. that was until she saw you.

18+ MDNI | 3.8k words | slow burn(?), mutual pining, loser ellie, recreational drug use (weed)

a/n: this took so long because im an intp AND a taurus *makes excuses for myself* also tysm to everyone who commented on the last chapter ur amazing and ily ♥

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Ellie’s in nothing but her underwear, legs criss-crossed on her navy comforter; holding a joint between her lips as she tunes the strings of her maple wood guitar. It’s a lazy Saturday, the one day out of seven where Ellie isn’t constantly tormented by homework and art projects.

These days are practically therapeutic for her. Being able to strum her fingers against the nylon strings and relish in the relaxing, skunky smell of cannabis can fix all of her problems. Minus one, of course: getting to know you better. 

For now, she’s at peace with doing nothing, that is until a loud ding goes off and the brightness of her phone flashbangs her otherwise dim-lit room. She scowls, exhaling a puff from her lungs as she reaches over for the device. Ellie has friends, but she’s no social butterfly. Her phone is usually dry, especially on weekends. Jesse is definitely with Dina, so unless it's serious; there’s no reason for her to be getting a text. 

Naturally, her scowl deepens when she reads that the number is unknown. 

???: hii

ellie: wrong number

She opts to toss her phone away, but the next message throws her off track. 

you: it’s — !

Ellie’s eyes widen at her screen like your name is a hypnotic spiral. She can feel her heart swelling well within her chest, and she’s left wondering if the weed she’s smoking is laced or if she somehow manifested you. Ellie quickly transfers her blunt in one hand and her phone in the other, straining her thumb trying to type as fast as she can to you. 

ellie: oh hdy! 

ellie: hey*

you: dina gave me ur number, i hope that’s okay 

ellie: yeah ofc it is :-)

ellie: i was planning on giving it to you

Ellie typed that half-lie slowly, weighing how true it really was as she pressed send. It was on her plan of things she’d like to do before dying, but even then she doesn’t think she would ever gain the courage. 

you: oh thank god

you: i thought i might be intruding 🙁

ellie: never, what’s up?

you: can i ask you something?

ellie: yes of course aks me anythign

ellie: ask* anything* shut sorry

ellie: SHIT

you: lmao are you okay??

ellie: yeah… forget about that, ask away

you: well i was wondering if you could help me study? im failing my anatomy class..

you: if u can’t it’s okay though!

A sheepish grin spreads across Ellie’s face, as she thinks about all the scenarios that could lead to. To think she’d finally have an excuse to see you after weeks of hoping, of praying for the opportunity. You asked her for help instead of taking other options, especially considering how much easier it would’ve been for you to. 

ellie: its no problem, id be glad to help :-)

you: really?? ur a lifesaver els, tysmm

you: when are you free?

ellie: Right now.

ellie: or whenever .

you: let’s meet at the library in 20?

Almost instantly, Ellie’s excitement warps into anxiety. She wasn’t particularly ready to see you and twenty minutes doesn’t seem like nearly enough time to get her shit together. She thought you’d ignore her impulsive desperation of “right now” and set plans for a later date, but, alas, you didn’t.

Ellie rubs her forehead with her blunt holding hand, trying to scratch the itch of her worries away with just her pinky and thumb. Despite her increasing knowledge of you over the past few weeks, she was still incredibly nervous to be around you. 

Ellie takes one final hit of her joint before snuffing it out in a doob tube on her nightstand. She sets her guitar against her bed and nearly falls off trying to get up in a rush, even though she has more than enough time to get ready. 

She stumbles around the room to put something on, settling with a gray hoodie and a pair of jeans. She attempts to keep her balance as she hastily shoves each leg through her pants; simultaneously eyeing around her room in an attempt to remember where exactly she put her anatomy textbooks. 

Ellie hears a familiar ding from her bed and she snaps towards it to pick up her phone, peering at the screen.

you: ellie?

Ellie curses under her breath, scolding herself for forgetting to text you back. She taps on the keyboard, quickly making sure she doesn’t manage another typo before hitting send.

ellie: sorry! yeah i’ll see you in twenty!

you: awesome :) 

—

You weren’t ready to see Ellie either, you figured, since it took you hours to actually text her. You made up far-fetched scenarios with the worst outcomes; the one where she immediately deletes your number tormented you for quite a while. Now you’re trudging across campus to meet her, internally at war with your mixed emotions. On one hand you get to hang out with a cute girl and on the other you’re hanging out with a really cute girl. Alone. Zero friends around. 

There’s a chance you two might not have anything to talk about. You guys are only mutual friends after all. Even if you guys somehow manage to start a conversation, what if she comes to not like you by the end of it, or vice versa? Not to mention the window incident you’re both hoping the other forgot. 

You hesitate in your steps as you reach the library doors. It’d only take a few seconds to spin around and walk back, but how could you leave her there? You thoughtlessly chew on your lip, eyes worriedly shifting around. 

You can’t recall any moment you’ve been so anxious about meeting up with a girl before. Not once, not even in a distant memory. You’ve always been the bolder one in your endeavors. The fact that Ellie is the only girl to make you feel this way has to mean something. You slowly pace in front of the doors in an attempt to dissipate your worries, nodding to your inner thoughts and ignoring the probable concerned stares in the distance. You’re the one who invited her, so you’re gonna stick it the fuck through. You couldn’t bail before testing the waters, you’d never forgive yourself.

So you barge into the building, letting the cool air hit your face from the swinging doors; granting you a waft of leather and drying ink. The building was decorated with freakishly tall dark wood bookshelves; so high, there were beige ladders in place to reach the top shelves. As expected, it was quiet, empty and definitely overfunded. Studying has never been your forte and you’ve never stepped in this building; save for a few dance history books. You wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case for everyone else. Thankfully, one pro definitely outweighs those cons. Ellie was going to help you study. Ellie is the reason you’re here at all.

You tidy up your outfit that you diligently put together and roam farther into the library, trying to hold down a smile that’s impossible to hold down. In fact, it completely takes over your face. You need to simmer down your giddiness before you start skipping around. You purse your lips and briefly steady your eyes on the dark, olive carpeted floor ahead of you. 

You head towards the front desk that’s just a sunken step away with the intention of asking for directions to the study hall. An older lady is sitting there, glowering with obvious annoyance definitely because of your loud entry. It’s been ages since you’ve been in the library— your failing grade proves that— and clearly you’ve forgotten all the rules with it.

A flash of guilt passes through you and you force an apologetic smile. She returns it with a grunt and you immediately redirect yourself further into the library; aimlessly in search for the study hall. 

-

You’ve been walking around for a solid five minutes and you swear you’ve passed the same fantasy section a million times now. It’d be smart to text Ellie and tell her you’ll be late, but your ego won’t let you. 

The looming large, ornate bookshelves certainly don’t make it any easier for you to navigate around.

The question of why the school spent so much money on all this occupies your mind as you venture further. You make a turn around a corner you’ve definitely made before, and you sigh at the familiarity of the area in front of you. 

You keep pressing forward anyway, hoping you can manage a new route this time around.

Before you can make another turn, you’re interrupted by drowned footsteps behind you blending into your own, followed by a tap on your shoulder. You flinch at the sudden touch, sharply turning around only to see Ellie looking at you with a downward smile. 

“Lost?” She sarcastically presumes, her viridescent eyes taking in your shocked yet relieved expression. 

You fiddle with the straps of your backpack between your fingers, shyly glancing around you. “No, I was just… looking for more textbooks.” You nod sagely at your own words, as if you’re trying to convince yourself too.

“Oh? Next to—“ The auburn-haired girl squints at the shelf behind you before adorning a wide grin, “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets?” 

Your brows raise and you follow her eyes onto the obviously fiction-filled bookcase. “Uh, yeah? I’ve got Professor Snape at four.” 

Ellie narrows her eyes at you in amused disbelief, trying not to laugh at your adorably dorky excuse.

Dramatically sighing in defeat, “Fuck, okay, you got me.” You say lowly, a bashful smile developing on your lips.  

“You passed the study hall five times. I counted.” Ellie goads.

You partially suppress your laugh, mindlessly giving her arm a light smack. “Oh, my god. Don’t tell me that!” 

She dotes on your laughter and your touch; whether it was intentional or not. Either way, she’s feeling good about herself now and her previous worries about this encounter floated away, and you could safely say the same. 

“It’s a good book though, we can go back and get it. No need to be shy about it.” Ellie quips.

“Shush!” 

—

With Ellie as your guide, the trip to the study hall was much easier than you made it out to be. You recognized the big glass windows you passed by often and when you stepped into it, you flushed with embarrassment. It was a direct contrast to the old-fashioned, mahogany colored library you’d been meandering around. 

Ellie really could’ve counted the times you walked by, and she really did. The first time, she thought you must’ve seen a friend and left to catch up with them. However, the second time around she realized you might be lost. 

She was going to text you and tell you to turn around, but she thought it was cute seeing you walk in circles, ignoring literally every sign in your way. By the fourth time, she could tell you thought you were in a time loop and she found it fucking hilarious. Someone like you, seemingly exceptional in everything but directions. The fifth time came and, of course, she decided she was being cruel and had to come help you herself. 

Ellie leads you to the desk where she’s set camp at, and the amount of books and paperwork makes you dizzy. “Jesus, Els. Are you teaching me the entire course?” 

She takes a seat before giving you an answer, “Well.. That depends on how bad you’re failing.” 

You take a seat across from her, setting your backpack on the floor before resting your forearms on the oak table. “My teacher said I was dumb as fuck and essentially called me a homophobic slur.” You’re exaggerating, obviously, but that was exactly what it felt like.

Ellie scoffs out a sound, unsure of whether to laugh or be offended for you. “Damn... It’s Bill, isn’t it? God, that guy is a fuckin’ prick.” She questions, clearly unsurprised by his actions.

You sit upright in your chair, relief shining through your words, “Yes! Is that his thing?” 

Ellie casually leans back, thinking back to when she was a student of his. “Oh, yeah. He’s a blunt guy, shitty filter,” She continues, and somehow you’re both meeting each other’s looks, “But he’s fair with his grades, n’ I know it doesn’t make it any better, but he has a husband. He’s just… old.. and grumpy.”

You try to consider that he is letting you retake a major grade. You guess you could appreciate that somewhat. “True... still, the comment was unprovoked. You must know him well though?” 

“Yeah, I took his class last year. We were at each other's throats about coursework n’ shit. Really hard to reason with that guy.” Ellie purposely leaves out the part where she was being unreasonable too, but only for the sake of storytelling, of course. “Then that summer, I saw him at a family gathering.” She finishes off with a dramatic shiver in disgust and you laugh at how endearing it was. 

“Anyways, his gaydar is somethin’ else. I can never tell.” She admits, carelessly waving a hand in the air. Ellie’s radar in particular is broken. Shattered, even. She can’t keep track of the amount of times she has stood in the shower, realizing a girl was flirting with her only days later. 

“Even with me?” 

“Even with you...” She speaks with artificial sadness and a slight sulk.

“Ouch… I’m wounded.” You fake a frown, slightly dropping your shoulders.

Ellie’s eyes fall to your nails; some suspiciously shorter than the others, and all painted in your favorite color. “But… that I know for sure, I can definitely tell.” Ellie comments.

 A swarm of butterflies suddenly parade your belly, and you shine a coy smile her way. “They’re not short because of that…” Your half-hearted attempt to defend yourself drips in the lightness of your voice.

Ellie briefly raises her eyebrows with a sly smile plastered on her face, folding her arms over her chest; which, unbeknownst to you, was to shield how hard her heart was thumping. She’s shocked she hasn’t turned into a pile of mush yet, probably thanks to her smoke session earlier.

“I’m serious! I keep my hands to myself.” You continue on, putting in a little effort in your voice for your defense this time. For the most part it is true, lately your mind has been on Ellie, and Ellie only. The thought of random flings didn't excite you, but she did. However, it wasn’t not true that you’ve had a fair share of hookups. You’re in an art school, how could you not? 

“C’mon, just yourself? I’m sure you've cared to share.” Ellie playfully pokes around you with her words; nonchalant and prone for a reaction. 

Your jaw slightly drops, making your head tilt to the side incredulously. “Wow. What makes you think that?”

Ellie unfolds her tattooed arm to rub her palm against the back of her neck, responding unexpectedly timid, “Hey, ‘m not blind. I know you’re popular.” 

You snicker at her explanation and shake your head. “They’re friends. You can be friends with girls even if you’re gay, Ellie.”

“Friends don’t touch you like that.” She notes with an uncharacteristically stern expression.

It surprises you for a second, but all it makes you wanna do is poke fun, tease her, and see where it’d go. “Like what?”

Ellie sighs, reluctantly explaining further, “Like they’ve touched you before.”

“Straight girls are touchy.” You shrug, purposefully ignoring what she tried to imply. 

The way you said it so matter-of-factly makes Ellie’s eyes roll. “You know I don’t mean it like– ugh, my judgment is usually fucked up, but that? That I can tell the difference with.” Ellie states with surety.

You narrow your gaze at her, a teasing grin forming on your lips. “What are you jealous or something?” 

“Of you or the girls?” 

“Oh, the girls were an option?” You playfully remark, but also with honest curiosity in how she’d answer. 

Ellie clears her throat and leans forward to place her textbooks into view, trying to hide the blush spreading across her features. She’s not doing a great job at it and you’d love to tease her some more, but you can settle with taking the win for now. 

—

Night crept up faster than you both anticipated, the ambient sounds of paper printing and carts rolling by were no longer prevalent. The only thing filling the room is the buzz of the light fixture above and the words you two exchange. The table is cluttered with Ellie’s open notes and some textbooks with neon page markers poking out the sides. It wasn’t organized by any means, but it was a mess you both found easy to work around. 

Surprisingly, Ellie is a great tutor. When she saw your paper, she didn’t make fun of you like you thought she would. Instead, she expressed how grating it is to remember all that crap and you shouldn’t give yourself a hard time over it. 

To help you memorize the muscles of the body, you guys settled on one area and made up silly rhymes for it. She tried to argue that brachiosaurus was perfect for brachialis even though it didn’t even rhyme. You even gave her the chance to pick a different one, but then she said brachyceratops with a mockingly straight face and you knew she couldn’t be trusted for the task anymore.

The air between you two wasn’t stuffy or silent like you feared it’d be. Ellie made you laugh, not in the breathy forced way you’ve unknowingly gotten used to making. 

She made sure you listened to her tips & tricks, made you review your mistakes so you wouldn’t repeat them again.

You hadn’t picked up your phone for anything other than to google things on the subject, and your ringer? Off. Your attention never strayed far from her. That made her undeniably nervous– sweaty, and hard for her to breathe normally, but she could  acknowledge how well she was doing.

Ellie’s head is dipped down to a paper you two were working on and you’re openly ogling, wondering how she’d look in a pair of glasses. Flipping through papers, tapping the back of a pen on her inviting lips. You tell yourself you snap back to reality before your mind strays any further. 

“If we keep this up, you’ll remember it all in no time” She encourages, eyes still glued on the paper. Secretly, she hopes it takes a little longer. Just a little.

“Thanks for helping me out, Els.” You say, face tilted into the palm of your hand. 

Ellie looks up from the paper to give you a smile, but she doesn’t hold her gaze for long. A millisecond later and her blush would have you thinking she had a sudden, terrible fever. 

“It’s no problem. It helps me out too.” Ellie points to the examples she sketched out for you with her pencil. She pauses before speaking again, trying to get rid of the sudden dryness in her mouth, “Can I ask you something?” 

Studying her expectantly, you lift your head off your hand. “Yeah?” 

Ellie fidgets with her pencil, trying to muster up courage. Her mouth feels dry trying to push out the words. “I’m also struggling with a class and uh,” she twirls her pencil in one hand, tucking a sliver of her hair behind her ear with the other, “I was wondering if you could be the model for my art final?” Her question came out whinier than she’d like it to, making her freckled-face wince. 

You can sense how nervous she is about asking, but you can’t place your finger on why she ever would be. This is the first time anyone has ever asked you something like this, so in your mind it’s nothing but exciting, especially coming from her. You can already imagine yourself sitting prettily still while Ellie studies you and paints long, fancy strokes on a yellow canvas. “Ellie, are you kidding? I’d love to.” 

Her lashes flutter in disbelief, “Really?”

“You’re helping me, so why not? It’s fair.”

“It’s kind of a weird thing to ask. I mean, we barely know each other.” Ellie murmurs, unaware that you have absolutely no idea what she’s on about. 

You lift a brow at her. “We will eventually, right? What’s weird about a portrait anyways?” 

“It’s not a portrait… Well, I guess it is–“ Ellie sighs into her palm, “I’m drawing you, but…” She cringes before she can finish her sentence. 

“A portrait in pencil? What am l missing?” You slowly question. 

“Think Titanic.” She grimaces as she waits for your reaction, trying not to bang her head on the table for picking Titanic of all movies. 

“Titanic? What does that have to do with…” Your voice trails off, quieting down so you can process what Ellie said. Think Titanic. It's hard for you to connect what the 1997 romance movie had to with this, but when it connected, it connected. The infamous drawing scene was memorable. You’re in awe, not quite sure how to react. 

“You don’t have to be fully… y’know..” Ellie insists. 

Your face is still unreadable, as if you're lost in thought, and it’s freaking her out. Too many what-ifs are going through her head, all of them gradually getting worse the longer you stay silent. She thinks she got too close to the sun when she had more than enough warmth. She's already preparing herself for rejection, worryingly scouting your face for a hint of revulsion; however, it never comes.

“Oh. Okay.” You calmly respond with a shrug, your face still unreadable; the only difference being a light smile. You could’ve thought about it longer, but you’re so flattered Ellie wants you to pose for her that you rather worry about it later. She wants to sketch your body onto paper. Yours. It sounds vulnerable and a little nerve wracking, but she’s your friend. A friend you have a crush on, sure, but you wouldn’t want to inconvenience her over it. Plus, you owe her now. Really, you’re purely being selfless. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself.

“Okay?” Ellie repeats to make sure she was hearing things right.

“Like I said, you’re doing this for me, so I’ll do it for you.” You reassure, gesturing around to the study session laid across the table. 

“Are you sure? You know I’ll still tutor you, even if you say no–”

“— Do you not want me to?” You pout your lips, hoping she hasn't changed her mind already.

“Are you shitting me? Of course I do. I just… didn’t expect you to say yes.” Ellie finally says, absolutely dumbfounded given her hand movements. 

You laugh melodically, “Didn’t think that far, huh?” 

“Nope.” She answers with a cute embarrassed smile, her blood rushing to her face. 

Your phone buzzes, probably a text or notification. You reach out and shove a few papers to the side to get to it before taking a look, only for your eyes to be drawn to the time. “Shit. It’s late. I think the library closes soon…” You murmur regretfully, feeling all too comfortable where you were.

Ellie presses her tongue against her cheek in annoyance, upset that time dared to pass by as fast as it did. “We should get going then, I guess.” She says dejectedly, not wanting to leave you just yet. 

You peep her suddenly gray aura and smile warmly towards her. “Can you walk me back to my dorms?”

She nods with subtle enthusiasm and pushes out of her seat, immediately packing all her belongings to join your side. “Yes! — I mean, sure. Yeah.”

—-

The lamp post lights are warm and waning, complimenting the shadows on both your faces. You two walk down the dark flagstone path towards the housing area, chatting about nothing. It’s nice to be able to spend a little more time with her before the night is over. Unfortunately, you guys were drawing closer and closer to your dorm and the feeling of loss came as quick as it left. 

“Hey, Els?” 

She glanced at you and hummed in response, giving you the signal to continue. “I was wondering if you were gonna be at some party tomorrow? Apparently Dina’s co-hosting it.”

Ellie looks at you quizzically before looking off elsewhere to think. “Why the fuck would they party on a Sunday?”

You snort out a laugh before lifting and dropping your shoulders, “I don’t know, senioritis or something. Will you come though?”

“Mhm, I’ll be there.” She smiles as she speaks, loving how your face lit up by the end of it. Ellie isn’t too fond of parties, but for you? She can make an exception.

You cheer in a whisper tone and it makes Ellie smile harder, her features creasing in adoration. You two finally approach your dorm building. You walk up a step before turning to wave goodbye. She raises a palm in return and you flash her a smile that makes her heart leap before turning into the building.

If Ellie couldn’t tell before, she’s completely enamored by you. 

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a/n: fuck jk rowling but i rlly couldnt think of any other commonly known fantasy book :/

taglist: @bready101 @pascals-doll @macaroni676 @khai-le @pedropascalsbbg @seraphicsentences @starlight-savegery @snowy-vee @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @a-little-bit-of-everybody @elliesactualgirlfriend

[everythingpeaches]

In which Sirius Makes a Mistake Part 2.

'I'm sorry,' follows Remus around for weeks. Guilt drips from the words and fills the pale grey eyes which, too, follow him wherever he goes.

At first Remus is too hurt to hear it, too betrayed. Then he is just too angry.

James is there, hovering at his shoulder and waiting to offer comfort. Remus doesn't want it, can't accept it.

Lily tries to help, even though she doesn't know what's happened. She is too clever to ask questions, too good at reading people to pry. Instead she offers company and distraction in prefect duties, study groups and idle chatter.

Mary and Marlene follow Lily's lead, although Remus is sure they must both be dying to ask him what has caused this sudden and dramatic change between Sirius and himself. Neither of them do, though, for which he is grateful.

He misses his friends.

James and Peter are trying, but he can tell how badly they want him to speak to Sirius even if neither of them say it. He can't, though. He doesn't know how.

Sirius seems to understand, and stops following Remus around with apologies and instead dissappears almost entirely. His curtains are drawn tight around his bed whenever Remus eventually ascends to their dormitory for the night and they are open, bed empty, when Remus wakes each morning. He is there at meals, hovering on the opposite edge of the group in silence, like a ghost with its eyes downturned.

James, never able to stay cross with Sirius for long, takes pity on him and has him out at quidditch practice almost every evening. Lily keeps Remus in the library much in the same way. He wonders if they are coordinating, like children of divorce.

They carry on this way for weeks, and Remus wonders if he might make it to the end of the school year without having to see Sirius once. A thought that is quickly proven incorrect when he enters their dormitory one afternoon to find Sirius coming out of the bathroom, hair wet and dripping onto his shoulders.

They both freeze.

'Sorry,' Sirius says, breaking the silence first, 'I though you were at the library.'

'Headache,' Remus says. Sirius nods sympathetically.

They hover there for a moment, unmoving, waiting for the other to pounce. Eventually Remus sighs and goes to sit on his bed, rummaging in his drawer for a pain tincture. He hears Sirius behind him, rifling through his trunk. Remus finds the vial and swallows it whole, then lays back against his pillows. He thinks about closing his curtains for a moment, but he can't quite bring himself to shut the other boy out. Instead, he closes his eyes and listens to the sound of Sirius dressing.

He has missed him so much. Missed being close to him, talking to him, hearing him laugh, but he is still so angry with him.

'I'm so angry with you,' he says suddenly, taking them both by surprise.

He opens his eyes to see Sirius, standing by his bed looking over at him with guilt and shame smeared across his perfect face.

'I know, you should be. I hate myself.'

Remus doesn't know what to say to that.

'Remus I...' he trails off. Clearly he doesn't know what to say either. Remus is glad he doesn't say sorry again.

'I don't know what to do, Sirius.'

Sirius nods. He looks like he's going to cry, which breaks Remus’ heart so he turns away, looking out of the window between his and James' bed.

'I don't know how to forgive you, even if I want to.'

'I understand.'

There's a noise that sounds like a trunk lid closing and then Remus hears the other boy's footsteps as he starts to exit the room. He turns quickly to see him reaching for the door.

'Wait,' he says. Sirius stops with his hand on the doorknob and turns to look at Remus. 'Can you... just wait, don't go.'

Sirius nods and walks over to sit on James' bed, facing Remus.

'Moony, I'm so sorry.'

'I know. I do believe you, Pads.'

'What can I do? Tell me what to do and I'll do it.'

'I don't know. I want to forgive you. I want to pretend that this never happened and go back to how we were eight weeks ago. I can't, though, can I?' Remus is looking at him, now, and even though the hurt in his eyes is like a knife to Sirius, it is such beautiful relief when Remus doesn't turn away.

They hold each other's gaze quietly for a few minutes, Sirius thinking of what to say and Remus hoping whatever it is is enough to make him forgive.

'I understand if you can't ever forgive me. What I did has no excuse, there's no explanation I can give that will make what I did okay. It's the worst thing I've ever done and if I could take it back I would, a thousand times over,' Sirius says, 'If you want me to stay away from you I will. But I need you to know, Remus, that if you let me I will spend every second of my life trying to make it up to you, because I love you.'

It's not what Remus had expected to hear, and it isn't what Sirius had planned to say when he had rehearsed his apology over and over again in his mind. It was the truth, though. He has known it for a while, and felt it so keenly in Remus' absence these past weeks, that he is unable to waste this opportunity. It might be his only chance to say it.

'Do you?' Remus asks, staring at the boy infront of him.

'I do.'

'It doesn't make it okay, Pads.'

'I know that.'

'If anything it makes it worse,' Remus says, and feels guilty for the hurt that flashes across the other boy's face.

'I'm sorry.'

'You need to stop saying that,' he's weakening, he can feel it. The words 'I love you' are swimming round his head and making him soft. He wants to say it back, but he can't. Not like this. Instead he says, 'I don't want you to stay away.'

Sirius looks back up at him from where he has been staring dejectedly into his lap.

'I miss you, but I don't forgive you yet.'

Sirius is nodding like a sinner reprieved, hope burning in his grey eyes.

'I want to. It's gonna take time, Sirius, but I can't keep ignoring you anymore. It hurts too much.'

'I promise,' Sirius says, leaning forward and taking Remus' hand in both of his own, 'I will earn your forgiveness. I promise.'

Remus nods. It's enough for now.

'Okay.'

[aheckinmess]

Bullet in a Gun [Snipe] (Angst)

(One-shot 23/? in a collection of My Hero Academia one-shots posted regularly on Saturdays - and sometimes Sundays.)

Read on AO3.

Tags: Snipe, Choku Dan, Pro Hero Snipe, Snipe x OC, Snipe x Reader, Original Female Character(s), Ichijiku Aoki, Angst, And When I Say Angst, I Mean the Cliche Damsel in Distress This Time, I'm Not Sorry, I Committed to the Chivalrous Cowboy Trope, Snipe Rides in to Save the Day, I Gave Myself a Panic Attack Writing This, It Was Worth It, Snipe is So Underappreciated, I Did My Best to Remedy That, We Stay Writing 1.6K Words This Week

Word Count: 1,639 words

Summary: As Ichijiku contemplates life, a villain decides to make her contemplate her life specifically when he kidnaps her to get back at Snipe. As the clock for Ichijiku's life ticks down, Snipe finds a hint left behind as to where she's being held. When he finally arrives, he might be able to save her, but at what cost?

Ichijiku (Tigress)

If I stare at the sky for too long, it almost seems like a cardboard cutout, ready at any moment to fall forward and reveal its Great Creator behind it, spanning out into the dark, expansive realm of space. Will galaxies seem finite in the infinitesimal vacuum of space? Or will they only seem that much bigger with my own microscopic existence soiling the atmosphere? 

Those thoughts plague  my mind before a blue-haired man with tattoos wrestles me out of my rocking chair and through my house to steal me away.

Now, tied to a railroad track and left with nothing but the sky to look at, I’m not wondering about the vast expanse of the heavens any more. I’m wondering what Snipe will think of my absence. Will he think I’m ready to move on from our year-long relationship, unaware of my predicament? Or will he be lost and confused, distraught when he doesn’t find my warning in time?

Death doesn’t even cross my mind, despite the fact that Chameleon makes it very clear I’ll be dying at precisely 3:00pm.

“You’re awfully calm for someone in this situation.”

“You’ll have to forgive me. I’m an introvert and not entirely sure how I should respond to this.” My tone is, in fact, far more calm than it should be. “If this is your idea of catching a date, you’ve got the wrong idea. This isn’t a girl’s idea of a fun time, nor is it what she means when she says she wants to be railed.”

“Shut up. That’s hardly an appropriate response.” I hear him huff out a breath before he continues. “You’re not nearly as fun as I’d hoped. I’d been banking on hearing you scream until you lost your voice.” He drawls, apparating into existence in my line of sight.

What I thought to be a simple blue, turns out to be iridescent scales camouflaging him with every winking beam of sunlight, a kaleidoscope of color with every step he takes. He might be handsome if he didn’t just hogtie me to the tracks.

“I’m so sorry to disappoint you.” I roll my eyes as I glare at him. “But it’s Snipe’s job to make me scream, you know.”

A moment later he’s got a rope tied around my mouth, effectively gagging me.

“On second thought, it’s far too irritating listening to you talk. You have no class.” He crosses his arms across his chest before looking down one side of the tracks. “But don’t worry. You’ll be screaming soon.”

When I feel the ground rumbling beneath me followed by a thunderous horn in the distance, panic sweeps through my chest. Even so, death still isn’t my first thought. Instead, I squeeze my eyes shut and think of Snipe. I think of the sky. I think of infinity and my cat and love letters and regrets and what could have been. 

Only when I see the approaching silhouette of the train do I allow myself a fleeting thought for death.

. . . . .

It’s 2:23pm when Snipe dismounts from his horse. It’s 2:25 when he whips past the overturned rocking chair and bursts into her open door, barely hanging onto its hinges.

It’s 2:26 when he finds the note plastered to her fridge. 

Been a while since we’ve had a fair fight, Snipe. Let’s see if you’re still on your A-game. Your lady dies at three o’clock sharp. See if you can save her in time.

C

Snipe’s world is out of sorts. The world is not in harmony because she should be here and she should be making tea. She should be turning to the door with that blue-ribbon winning smile as he offers her a bouquet of her favorite flowers. She should be gazing into the corral of his eyes that he leaves open just for her.

She should not be gone.

Snipe slams his fist into the wall trimming, using the pain to pull himself back together. He doesn’t have time to waste. No time at all. Time that ticks down with every second he spends rummaging through the house, searching for any sign of where Chameleon might have taken her.

He’s nearly given up hope by 2:35, where he sinks to his knees and reminds himself to breathe. She will not die. She will be in his arms again. She will hide little love letters in his hat-shaped ring box that once housed her engagement ring now sitting on her finger.

Love letters. Without thinking, he opens the box and what should he find but a note? A blue, crumpled sticky note folded more haphazardly than the rest, and on it is a scribbled word in her handwriting: train.

The box falls to the floor and the door slams shut as Snipe leaps onto his horse and spurs the mare to motion, flying through the forest and into the open plains like a bat out of hell.

When a train comes into view, his eyes follow the tracks on an uncomfortably close trajectory towards two figures. He knows even as he urges Kuroashi faster that he won’t make it. 

At 2:59 he aims his gun.

. . . . .

The train is here. It’s close enough to feel the heat from its smoky breath as it rattles the tracks. All sounds drown out from the steady rhythm of chug-a-chug-a-choo-choo until my brain turns the cadence into an ominous Death is coming for you. 

The train is here. The train is here. Death is here and all I can worry about is whether or not Snipe will keep the box for my engagement ring. Will he hold it when he wants to remember me? Or will he get rid of everything so he doesn’t have to remember what he lost?

Chameleon’s timer goes off to the sound of a gunshot. 

Click. Clank. The switch lever swerves with the tracks and suddenly the train zooms past me, still far too close for comfort, but no longer on course to swallow me with its iron jaws. The warmth of the train mingles with adrenaline and suddenly I can’t stop wiggling and whimpering in my restraints, muscles buzzing as I fight to get off these damn tracks.

“More vocal now, huh?” Chameleon hisses, disappearing and activating his quirk just as Snipe rides into range.

“MMPH!” I try to warn him.

But his camouflaged offender sends him flying off his horse and into the dirt, gun still primed in his hand. He’s on his feet quickly, but what can he do? I watch helplessly as Snipe’s homing quirk becomes useless. How does one shoot what he can’t see?

My eyes scour the dirt, searching for footprints and other minute signs of his movement. When a cloud of dust swirls by Snipe’s feet, I thrash in my bindings, desperately trying to free myself and help him. My fiancé’s head arcs back into the ground from his unseen adversary, kick-starting my heart.

Blood drips from his nose as keen, pro-hero eyes start searching for the same tell-tale signs of Chameleon’s movements I’ve been watching for. It costs him a hit in the stomach and his ribs, but he analyzes his foe’s movements to reclaim the upper hand. Snake battles snake in the hot, barren plains while my body quivers with fear.

All it takes is another dust cloud and bam! Snipe wrestles the invisible villain into the ground, appearing to fight air until Chameleon relinquishes use of his quirk.

“Glad to see you’re still in tip top shape, Snipe.” Chameleon growls, turning his glare to me as Snipe pulls out the restraining tape. “But you cut it kind of close, and next time she won’t be so lucky.”

“There won’t be a next time if you’d prefer to keep breathing.” Snipe barks out, his voice feral and sharp.

Snipe gets Chameleon’s hands behind his back and calls the cops as he sprints in my direction. Calloused hands act as a balm to the tremors tainting my muscles. When he cuts the bindings loose, he grabs my face and presses his forehead to mine; we share each others’ oxygen, our eyes promising the other what our mouths can’t say right now - I’m here and you’re safe and I’m not going anywhere.

My life remains finite while stretching infinitely before me, stretching straight out for Snipe. 

I don’t ever want to let him go.

“You’re okay.” He whispers; it’s hard to tell whether he says this for me or himself. “Are you hurt? Did he do anything before he tied you up?”

“A few bruises and cuts.” My fingers card through his hair and slide down his cheek, soaking in every ridge and bump of his body. “And that’s only because I put up a fight before he got me here.”

“That’s my girl.” He grins and the world clicks back into place.

The heat sears my body and pain torments my bones as I become abruptly aware of the world around me. His presence anchors me as I’m swirling dangerously close to the edge of unconsciousness. He catches me with whispered coos, keeping me tethered for now.

“You’re having an adrenaline crash. And, hell, I can’t blame ya. But take a few deep breaths for me, okay, darlin’? Police should be here soon.”

It’s 3:34 when the police arrive to stuff Chameleon in the back of their car and EMTs arrive to check me for injuries. Only when the blinding blue and red lights disappear from my line of sight do I make myself stop counting the minutes.

“Do you want me to take you home?” Snipe whispers in my ear, securing a shock blanket around my shoulders.

“Not my house.” I whimper. “Will you take me to your place?”

“Of course, honey. I’ll keep you safe. Let’s go home.”

Want More Snipe? Try: Hanging Fire in the Pond

[jungle-angel]

Her Funny Familiar (Rhett Abbott x Cottagecore!Reader)

Summary: Rhett knows you’ve always been good with critters, but sometimes they turn up in the weirdest places

Tagging: @rhettabbotts @sebsxphia and @wildbornsiren​ I can’t help myself, I’m jumping on the Rhett x cottagecore!Reader bandwagon (lol)

Summer was fast approaching which meant that more critters were out, roaming wherever they pleased. The days had grown warmer and so too did the evenings, something that you and Rhett looked forward to every year with the changing of the seasons. 

Rhett had just come in from the pasture, exhausted, sweaty and dying for a shower to get the stink of the day off of him. The one thing he looked forward to on days like this? Sitting on the porch with you to hear about all the little critters that followed you around, the different plants you were keeping track of in your sketchbook and the light that shined in your face whenever it lit up seeing him. 

His feet clunked up the porch steps, still in his heavy boots as he hung his Stetson on the hook next to the one holding the beaded tobacco pouch Russell Redwood, the father of his best friend, had made for your wedding. Rhett quickly noticed something moving around in the soft leather pouch, something small that had easily climbed up the knotty wood logs that the house had been built from. 

Rhett laughed a little, dipping his hand into the bag and scooping out a little chipmunk who had snuck his way in. “Gettin into my leaf are you?” he chuckled. “You’ve got good taste little buddy. Hey darlin?!” 

“What?” you called from the upstairs window. 

“One of your familiars got into my tobacco bag again!” 

You came downstairs and out the front door, just as the little chipmunk had crawled into the breastpocket on Rhett’s shirt. “Now don’t you start,” he said, pretending to be stern with the little critter. “I left some acorns for ya last week and the leas ya’ll could do is say thank you.” 

You laughed and took the little chipmunk in your hands, turning him loose in the grass before you tried to hoist yourself back onto your feet. Rhett helped you up as the ache in your lower back began to lift away. “Three more months,” you sighed. “Just three more months and he’s here.” 

Rhett drew you close and kissed your forehead. “Which reminds me,” he said. “Dad and I are almost done with our little project in the woodshed. You think it’ll be ok?” 

“Rhett, I’m pretty sure one way or another, our little man won’t mind as long as he’s got a warm place to sleep,” you chuckled, smoothing out the front of your denim sundress so that your bump was noticeable. 

Rhett held you close to him, for how long, you couldn’t remember. The two of you watched the sun set, listening to the crickets and frogs that were beginning to chirp and the warm breeze that made the leaves rustle and the grass ripple. Rhett felt something on top of his shoe and sure enough, there was the little chipmunk, his paws together as if he were begging for food. 

“Alright, alright little buddy,” Rhett laughed. “You got me. I’ll go get you some pine nuts for your walk home.” 

“Oats are in the pantry too,” you called to him as he shut the screen door on his way in. 

You looked down at the little chipmunk who looked happier than a clam in the sea. “He likes you buddy,” you said to the little critter. “He might be a little grumpy some days. But he likes you.” 

Rhett’s smile grew broader as he came back out with a handful of oats and pine nuts, placing a little pile on the porch for the chipmunk. “Ya know,” he chuckled. “I have a feeling little man’s gonna be just like his Momma.” 

“Time will tell Rhett,” you said, kissing him on the lips. 

And Rhett could hardly wait. 

[missmungoe]

I know you’re still recovering from Mnemosyne (BEAUTIFUL HEART WRENCHING AMAZING WONDERFUL WORTH-THE-WAIT CHAPTERS BTW SO GRATEFUL FOR YOUR EXISTENCE) so please don’t feel pressured b u t… if you have any snippets of the next Moon and Her Maiden chapter you feel comfortable sharing ..🥺👉👈 IM SORRY BUT THAT LAST ONE ENDED SO AMAZINGLY AND IM DYING TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

HI, please know how happy this made me, and of course I have a snippet! I'm actually very close to finishing this fic, so here's a little peek:

It comes with a price

He followed the road inland, the same path he’d walked the night she’d been taken, although this time he wasn’t searching blindly, following instead the trail of her presence, like a moonlit thread through his mind and the dark.

She’d followed the road out of the village, past the darkened windmills where they loomed, before she’d climbed one of the fences and crossed the field into the forest. If it hadn’t been for his haki, Shanks didn’t think he would have been able to follow her, with no obvious path or tracks to guide his way, and with the canopy blocking out the moon it was almost too dark for him to see.

He was starting to wonder if he should have brought a lantern when the canopy suddenly opened, allowing a shaft of moonlight to pierce it, right onto the still surface of a forest pond, and he paused in his tracks, seeing the small figure standing before it.

Her back was turned towards him, her clothes in a heap around her ankles and her slender frame outlined by the moon. It spilled over her skin, the silver spots across her shoulders apparent, and the still-pink scar where it cut like a sickle moon between her shoulder blades.

He knew she’d already sensed him coming, and saw her turn towards him where he’d emerged from the shadows of the trees into the clearing. She had her sealskin in her hands, the supple pelt shimmering like her skin.

She’d removed her kerchief, her short hair gently tousled where it brushed the tops of her cheekbones. The eyes beneath were bottomless, although for once, he couldn’t discern if the feeling in them was surprise or trepidation, finding him there. But then this wasn’t like waiting for her by the shore, his eyes shut in offering. He’d come into her realm now, eyes wide open, as brazen as the sailors from the songs, who stole the maidens of the moon for their wives.

“The old girl told me where you were,” Shanks said, and saw her brows knitting in surprise.

“Suzume-san did?”

He nodded, before he looked at the pond, and coming closer, “Going for a midnight swim?” he asked, hoping his smile might ease some of the tension that had crept between them.

Makino didn’t answer, and his heart sank, wondering if he’d overstepped when he’d kissed her in the storeroom earlier.

But looking up from the sealskin in her hands to him, it wasn’t fear he found in them, or at least not for him as Makino said, “I was going to try to change.”

Something about the way she said it struck him as odd, and frowning, he was trying to figure out what was off about it when realisation hit him, without kindness.

“You haven’t tried,” Shanks said.

She shook her head, and his heart constricted when she confessed, “I don’t know if I still can.”

The beat that followed was heavy, holding the weeks that had passed since her capture, a full moon cycle, and the nights he’d waited by the docks, hoping she’d show. He’d thought she’d been nervous about seeing him in her seal-shape, or that she wanted to wait until her stitches had healed. He hadn’t thought she’d been afraid she couldn’t do it anymore.

“Your stitches are perfect,” Makino said, dragging his eyes up from her sealskin, as though his silence had suggested that they might be the reason. “I don’t even have evidence that there’s anything wrong, I just…haven’t been able to bring myself to try.”

Her eyes lifted from her pelt to his, and the fear in them struck him as hard as it had, that moment outside her bar when the bandit had tried to slice it open. “What if I can’t?” she asked, the slight quaver in her voice making his hands clench. “I don’t know who I am without my pelt.”

His look softened.

Crooking a knuckle, Shanks tipped her chin. Her eyes were as dark as the pond, unearthly in their depth and beauty, and yet there was nothing but human feeling in them, open and vulnerable.

“You’re you,” he said. His eyes roamed her face, but for all that the fae were hailed as coy, cunning creatures, he’d never met anyone as guileless. “With or without your powers.” His thumb brushed her chin, beneath her bottom lip where it trembled. “But I understand why you’re scared. I don’t know how I’d feel if I lost something so deeply connected to who I am.”

Her eyes hadn’t let go of his, and he saw the tears brimming in them, even as she didn’t let them fall.

He watched as they lowered to the sealskin, held between them. He could see the place where the bullet had torn through it, the moonlight illuminating the scar, twin to the one on her back. He’d spent a whole day mending it, trying his best to make it as seamless as he could, but even then his stitches had left a mark.

“This is one of my favourite places,” Makino said then, looking up from her pelt to the still pond. Flowers grew thickly by the riverbank, blue forget-me-nots gleaming like stars against the mossy undergrowth, and a slender river cut through the clearing, gurgling quietly where it crawled between the stones to feed the pool where they were standing, the surface like a black mirror to the moon’s round face, although it wasn’t the one that held his eyes captive, her gentle features painted by the light.

“It’s beautiful,” Shanks said.

Her smile tilted, a little sad, and he didn’t understand why until Makino said, “I was going to bring you here.” Dark eyes met his, as gentle as her words. “To show you.”

His eyes widened, but of course―she’d mentioned a pool, that sunny day with Luffy on the docks when she’d asked him to go walking with her.

He didn’t know how he would have reacted, if the incident with the bandits had never happened, and the way she’d revealed herself to him had been here, on her own terms. And while she’d told him why she’d hidden it for so long, it said something about how much she’d trusted him even then, to want to bring him somewhere like this. Like the hidden cove, it was an offering; a part of herself shared with him that no one else had seen.

But while he couldn’t change what had happened, or make it so that her powers still worked, there was one thing he could control. Like the blindfold, he could even the balance between them; a barter, if only to put them on even ground.

“What are you doing?” Makino asked, as he shrugged off his cloak, before he reached to unbutton his shirt, until it joined it on the ground next to her clothes.

Toeing off his sandals, “Stripping,” he chirped, and her eyes sprung wide when he reached for the waistline of his pants, flashing her a rakish grin. “Fair is fair.”

Shucking them with characteristic panache, the fierce blush deepening her cheeks banished some of her otherworldliness, her beautiful features reshaping with an unmistakably human mortification as her eyes darted away from his naked body, and his cock, cheerfully erect where he’d propped his hands on his hips, but before she could object, he’d dived into the pond.

He cut the mirror surface smoothly, the freezing cold water hitting him like a thousand needles, before he resurfaced with a gasp, swearing, “Fffffucking hell, that’s cold! Oh my god, I think my balls just retreated back into my body.”

The startled laugh that blurted from her was muffled by the pelt, her cheeks fairly glowing where she’d pressed it to her face, but it couldn’t hide her grin where he found it in her eyes, as helpless as his own, seeing it.

Pushing his dripping hair back from his face, he swam towards the bank where she stood. The pool was deep enough that he was only able to stand towards the shallow edges, the middle like a black hole, sucking up the moonlight where it spilled through the branches.

Smiling, Shanks held out his hand. “Are you coming in, seal-maiden?”

He saw her eyes darting to it, indecision shaping her beautiful features, so wonderfully expressive, he still couldn’t believe she’d kept her identity a secret from him for so long, even with his eyes shut.

But they were open now, and he watched her shifting expressions hungrily, and saw when she decided, her soft mouth firming, before she drew her sealskin around her shoulders.

Then Makino placed her hand in his, and closing his fingers around it, Shanks drew her into the water.

It pulled her in, as though welcoming her, and he wondered, transfixed, how he hadn’t noticed it the time they’d gone swimming, how naturally she held herself in the water. Or rather, how unnaturally, an otherworldly grace that even a girl who’d been swimming her whole life couldn't have boasted.

Of course, there’d been other things distracting him that night, like how she’d looked in the rain, her soaked chemise clinging to her body, although looking at her now, the pale silk replaced with moonlight and her silver pelt, he was hard pressed to say which was more captivating, but then maybe it was just her.

He’d reached out before he could stop himself, his fingers brushing the pelt where it covered the top of her head, as soft as he remembered, but Makino didn’t withdraw, only let him touch it.

It dipped into her brow, and lifting it enough to bare her eyes, “You don’t have to try tonight,” Shanks said, observing her where she floated, too short for her feet to reach the bottom, but then she didn’t even need to tread water. “But if you want to, I'm the only one here.”

Makino watched him, the pelt pushed back enough to see her face, unchanged from how he knew it, but even then there was a feyness about her that left no mistake now about what she was, wrapped in water and moonlight.

He watched as her eyes slipped shut, and she seemed for a moment to retreat into herself, a calm overtaking her as she let her breath go. Shanks felt it in her presence, as still as the pond around them, not even a ripple to disturb the mirror surface.

Then her eyes opened, meeting his, and this time they were so dark they’d swallowed the white around them. And he’d seen her transform, that terrifying moment on the deck of his ship after she’d been shot, but it was something else to see her change now, not out of necessity but because she wanted it.

Her skin glowed, first silver, then a bright, brilliant white, as though she became for a moment moonlight in its purest form, illuminating the whole clearing, before she changed, her slender frame shrinking, reshaping into a figure he’d only glimpsed a few times before, in the cove and through the underwater shadows.

The brilliance dimmed, leaving her in her seal-form, the tiny, sleek creature that bore no resemblance to her human shape, even as Shanks still found her, in the dark, bottomless eyes and the way she floated in the water, and her presence, unchanged now that she wasn’t concealing herself.

He heard her voice within, the unbridled joy in it rippling through him like laughter.

It worked!

His grin widened, hearing her whooping delight within him, and his chuckle was softer than he was known for as she vanished under the surface, darting around him once, and with such breathtaking grace it left him unable to do anything but watch as she resurfaced further out, a sleek shadow, before she dived under again, and so silently she barely stirred the pond.

He felt her brush against his thigh as she circled him once, before darting between his legs, and so swiftly it took his haki just to keep track of her, and even then she was faster, as the little seal suddenly resurfaced right in front of him, the transformation releasing her, and so quickly it was only a split second before Makino was there, her voice aching with joy, “It worked!”

She threw her arms around his neck, and his eyes widened, caught so off guard he nearly forgot they were swimming.

Startled, his arms wrapped around her, the sudden and intimate contact jolting through him like he’d been shot.

His heart held, feeling her in his arms, her delicate figure flush against his and nothing but water between them, and knew she could feel his reaction, rock hard where it pressed against her, but she didn’t draw away.

Holding her, his hand shook where it spanned the sickle scar between her shoulder blades, covering it whole, and his chuckle was soft as he tucked his nose into her neck, hugging her close. She was so small, but then he knew her shape with his eyes shut, every delicate line and curve, had charted it with his hands, and found it now as he remembered, that first night on the docks, and in the cove, and his cabin.

He felt as the slender arms loosened from around his neck, and fought his instinct to pull her back, but she didn’t let go, as small hands cupped his cheeks. Water clung to his lashes, but he saw her clearly, the moonlight spilling down her body and his, and her eyes were as dark as the water, but this close, the tips of their noses brushing, Shanks found the gentler brown in them.

They slipped shut, and drawing his face down, as gently as the first time she’d done it, Makino kissed him.

Above, the moon watched them through the branches, her marble face as impassive as ever, but if she was upset with him for stealing one of her maidens, Shanks didn’t care.

And feeling the smile that shaped the soft lips under his, thought the maiden in question didn’t much mind the theft.

―

“Red-Hair?”

The deep bow made the collar around his neck fall forward, the heavy metal yielding a soft clank. “Our investigation proved fruitful, Your Excellency,” said his advisor. “We have eyewitnesses placing him in Goa that night, and he fits the description of your brother’s killer. A swordsman in a black cloak, wearing a straw hat. We did some digging, and he is apparently quite renowned. In fact…”

The rustle of paper drew his gaze, as a wanted poster was proffered, slid across the table towards him.

His eyes widened.

“One billion?”

His advisor bowed deeper. “In addition to his own deeds, he is a former crewmate of the Pirate King.”

His eyes lifted from the wanted poster, and the scarred face above the row of numbers. “Gold Roger?”

His advisor nodded. “His crew, too, is quite formidable. His first mate in particular.”

He considered Red-Hair’s wanted poster. “And he’s been here this whole time?”

Another nod. “It appears he has made a base of sorts. A port on the other side of the island. Fuschia is the name.”

“That backwater dump?” When his advisor nodded, “What does a pirate like Red-Hair want in a place like that?”

“Perhaps he is seeking to usurp the throne,” his advisor suggested. “He would not be the first pirate to attempt a coup.”

“I couldn't care less about Goa Kingdom or its so-called ruler,” said the Celestial Dragon. “But we cannot have it getting out that a pirate killed a Celestial Dragon. It would give the people ideas that just anyone can harm us, and that we can be usurped as mortal kings. We are not mortals; we are gods.”

Another deep bow, his brow nearly touching the floor. “Indeed, Your Excellency.”

Turning to the window, the dark sea looked back, and the full moon. To think that even the filthy commoners in this part of the world could see her splendour, and as clearly as they could from the Holy Land. Truly, a jest of the gods.

“Is Red-Hair still in port?” he asked, and heard him nodding when his collar shifted.

“His ship has not left, Your Excellency.”

“Good,” he said, his eyes on the full moon where she bathed on the horizon’s edge.

“See that it never does.”

[sleepyivoryrose]

i need to charge up my creativity...these last days I have quite a few ideas for stuff, but zero motivation for anything, spent a lot of time with napping or sleeping...

today I ate corn for lunch and now boiled potatoes with spinach...I'm still probably hungry afterwards, but I am working towards to at least eating a bit more healthy, even if it's not less.

(I am ashamed to say, that even as an adult, I am very picky with my vegetables. My grandma wasn't exactly someone who cooked a lot of it when I was a child, and my mother loves hotpots, but she cooked them on the other hand so often that I grew sick of it...my family says "Sae eats well!"...Sae eats well when the food is tasty for him. Sadly.)

But I'm trying to implement them slowly but surely in my diet (even though often I am too stubborn to eat the vegetables I bought and let them wilt. I hate when that happens, I'm such a manchild sometimes.)

And I hate wasting food. I did eat rotten food before, because I didn't want to waste it. Not very smart, I know. Actually, really fucking stupid. But when I think, that in meats case, an animal sacrificed himself so that I could live another day, I get really depressed and can't do it. It's like the animal dying was in vain, and it makes me angry.

I don't have the sheer will to turn vegetarian or even vegan, but the least I can do is honor the death of it, by making it a part of my own.

I heard that religion back in the prehistoric ages was all about being grateful for a good hunt, or having rituals so that the hunt might succeed. That included honoring the dying animal by painting it on the walls, or singing in the honor of its soul. That's also the reason why we like hearing singing with echo, like in churches or bathrooms- because the rituals were held in the caverns, and it reminds some primitive part of us of those ages. Don't quote me on that though, it's been years since I last heard of that theory.

Going back to the food talk...(sorta) It's going to be really hot again this week. I was hoping that it would be tolerable before my big appointment, but I don't seem to be in gods grace right now. Which is okay. He's already good enough with me as it is. Sometimes, you just gotta sack it up and endure.

Which means - I shouldn't go outside with this heat. Which means, of course- I can't go grocery shopping. Or at least, I got to hydrate properly before going outside, which is a giant pain in the ass (it's complicated, don't ask)

At the very least, I went outside a bit today. The sun was shining, and there were a lot of people (i was exasperated), annnd I bought a new shoujo manga. I didn't even notice it's from the same mangaka who created lovesick ellie. But I guess I was drawn to it, because it subconciously reminded me of it. "Definitly love", they call it in Germany. It's quite cute, the heroine is almost the same as last manga personality wise, but...it's kind of a guilty pleasure. You know it's not some revolutionary shit, but you keep coming back for more.

It keeps me at least a little bit sane. Inmersing myself in other worlds, I mean. I am fully aware that's it's very luxurious escapism, but...people scare me. A lot. I get half a panic attack only thinking about them getting displeased with me. Never learned how to deal with conflict I guess, only by shutting up and ignoring it.

Which most of the times doesn't make the conflict go away. Actually, most times, if it involves humans, it mutates into some atrocity. I am aware. Yet the fear is just too strong. Humans scare me so much.

Yet, how communities work, is through conflict and, generally speaking, talking things out. And I noticed that we suck in the peacefully speaking department. Our selfish nature doesn't allow us more often than not to consider other peoples feelings. I'm no different. But that's one of the many reasons why I try not to interact too much - I feel like a bother. And I am. I know it.

But as said, I need to work. I want to work, in a job, and have a healthy lifestyle and routine, and maybe even work on my self, physically and emotionally. For some reason, I never seem to change though. My advanced mental illness doesn't help to be strong, because it's a huge handicap, when you got a little monster in your head that inserts images and words in your head you don't want, and worst case scenario, materializes in form of mean, bullying voices. Thank goodness the later didn't happen for years now (As I am aware for now. Illusions are so real I can't differentiate it from the real thing.)

But yeah, I know, TMI.

Anyways, enough trauma dumping. I'm sorry if this text upset you, dear reader, and I hope you can forgive me. Hopefully this text is so long that you gave up halfway through.

At least...I hope there are no readers. I just want to be by myself. Sort things out, yknow?

But yeah. I'm getting drowsy, it's time to kick back and relax a bit.

[braveclementine]

Chapter 4

Warnings: None.

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OCs: Elizabeth Silvertongue and Clementine Greenleaf. I also own Clementines' brother Donavan. The following OCs are owned by other Wattpad writers as this is a collaboration project. Their OCs are on the face claim page. I do not condone any copying of this.

I jerked as the alarm went off, throwing myself out of the bed, staggering over to slam the snooze button and then flick the switch so it wouldn't continue to go off. I turned, looking back at my bed which had never looked more warm and inviting than it did now. 

I groaned, turning away from it, stumbling out of the dorm towards the bathroom, climbing into the shower. Being as tired as I was, I didn't see the temperature and let out a high pitched screech as cold water shot down on my body. I flinched away from it, ducking out from underneath the spray, turning the knob so that it became much warmer. 

"Unless you're dying, shut up." Clementine called through the door, sounding as exhausted as I did. It was the second week of college and we were both finding our work loads catching up to us, especially with our jobs. The grocery store was keeping me late, working till almost midnight before my shift was over. I was glad I only had one class Tuesday and Thursdays so I could get homework done before work. 

The cold shower had done its job though. I was wide awake as I stepped out of the bathroom, heading back to my bedroom to get dressed for school. 

I pulled on a pair of black shorts, grabbing the olive green v-neck shirt to toss on with it. I made sure my cross was hanging at the right length and then, after hesitating a little, put on a simple plastic black choker. 

I grabbed my makeup, applying it quickly and then brushing my long hair out. I'd probably leave it in curlers tonight. 

I went into the kitchen like area where I found Clementine making fruit salad out of the fruit we'd picked at the orchards over the weekend. I nearly moaned as I put the crisp apple in my mouth, the juice trickling along my taste buds as I bit into it. 

"So good." I muttered, grabbing the bowl and eating it with my fingers. "Okay I gotta go or I'm gonna be late for English." 

"See ya." Clementine called as I put the bowl in the sink and hurried, yanking my bag up and hurrying out of the dorm. 

I fast walked down the sidewalk, checking my watch. I had about fifteen minutes to get across the campus and I made it within nine minutes. I slipped through the doors with a sigh of relief, before smacking face first into someone. 

My face burned as Professor Barnes stared down at me, one arm around my waist as I had started falling backwards. 

"I am so so-" I immediately started before- as always- he interrupted. 

"I'm starting to think you like walking into me Miss Silvertongue." Professor Barnes said. He didn't growl, but his voice was dark and he sounded close to being angry. 

"N-No Si-" 

He put a single finger under my chin, lifting it up and said in something that was much more like a purr, "If you kept this chin up, you'd see where you were going. Try it. It  might prevent you from walking into a wall." And he removed his finger, walking past me and out the door. 

I felt a mixture of emotions rise up in me and I stomped my heel against the ground in frustration. I could still feel his finger, like a burning touch underneath my chin. "The nerve!" I hissed, storming down the hallway, trying to be mad instead of aroused. 

I slid into my chair in Brit Lit and pulled out Animal Farm. I had already finished it and was now sitting in class, working on homework, pretending to take notes while Professor Wilson taught. 

It wasn't that I didn't like Professor Wilson. In fact, besides Professor Rogers, he was probably the nicest one out there. Professor Potts was nice enough, but still strict. Professor Udaku was very reserved- but he was also royalty so I suppose he was brought up that way.

But Professor Wilson and Rogers were very laid back and easy. Nothing at all like Professor Barnes. 

Yet, Professor Wilson did not seem to see the class as being worthy of a challenge. Clementine had nearly popped a brain vessel when she'd come back from 'Explorative Reading Class'. I smiled behind my hand, remembering. 

"You'll never believe what Professor Wilson assigned us!" She had shrieked, eyes bugging out of her head while she waved what looked like a Harry Potter book around. 

"Uh, Harry Potter?" I had asked. 

"No! Oh my God read this!" Clementine threw the book at me and I barely caught it before it hit me in the face. 

I opened it up and read the first few lines, "Chapter one. The Boy Who Wasn't Unalived. Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, liked flexing that they were very basic, thank u." I paused and started to giggle. "Tbh they were the last people you'd think would be sus, because they were all fax no printer." I giggled harder. 

"The grammar." Clementine was nearly in tears. "They wrote 'tbh' not 'to be honest'." 

I couldn't help myself, I kept reading out loud. "Mr. Dursley was adulting at a firm called Grunnings, which made drills. He was a dummy thicc (w/ three Cs)-" And here I lost my composure, cackling. "Clementine, this looks amazing to read!" 

"I think Professor Wilson thinks we're stupid." Clementine muttered, flopping on the sofa next to me. 

I rolled my eyes. "-man with hardly any neck, although he had an absolute unit of a mustache. Mrs. Dursley was a total Karen with zero chill and had hella neck, which came in very useful when she was stalking her neighbours and not minding her own. The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley who they thought was the main character." 

I glanced over and saw Clementine had the slightest of smiles on her face. "The Dursleys were mostly thriving, but they also had lowkey tea which didn't pass the vibe check and their greatest fear was to get called out and cancelled. They were girlbossing too close to the sun and didn't think they could." 

"Okay, Okay." Clementine muttered. "It's decently funny. I'm still insulted by his thoughts of my low intelligence though." 

I didn't tell Clementine I would much rather read her book- which was completely new, then do Animal Farm all over again. 

I sighed to myself as Professor Wilson started class with the question, "So, after reading Chapter 6 of Animal Farm, what do you guys think of the pigs?" 

And it was ninth grade all over again. 

ꨄ︎

"And so as we can see in Figure 3.10, the outermost boundary of the nucleus is the nuclear envelope. Notice that the nuclear envelope consists of two phospholipid bilayers, which we can also call membranes and there are how many, class?" 

"Two!" Someone shouted from the side of the room. 

"Correct, the outer membrane and the inner membrane, in contrast to the plasm membrane, which consists of only one phospholipid bilayer. The nuclear envelope is a double-membrane structure that constitutes the outermost portion of the nucleus as we see in Figure 3.10. Both the inner and outer membranes of the nuclear envelope are phospholipid bilayers." 

I stifled a yawn with my hand, continuing to make notes on my diagram of the nucleus in front of me. Labelling the different parts which were the Endoplasmic reticulum, nucleolus, chromatin, nucleoplasm, nuclear pore, and nuclear envelope. 

"The nuclear envelope is punctuated with pores that control the passage of ions, molecules, and RNA between the nucleoplasm and the cytoplasm. Now, with Chromatin, you have to understand chromosomes first which-" The bell rang- "We will discuss in the next class. For homework, continue reading Chapter 3 on Cell Structure and Function and be ready for a quiz on the diagrams you were labelling today." Professor Banner said as students quickly shoved their things into their bags, taking off. 

I followed the flow of the crowd to Psychology, feeling my cheeks grow red before I had even reached the classroom. I stopped, turning on my heel since I had twenty minutes to kill, going and sitting on a bench near the vending machines. I looked up and saw the oreos just teasing me through the glass. I bit my bottom lip, standing up and approaching the machine. 

"If you're going to get those and then you die when you've been poisoned from a genetically modified ingredient, I'll do my best not to say 'I told you so'." Clementine's voice teased. I jumped, seeing her out of the corner of my eye where she was leaning against the wall. 

"Jeez Clem. And no, I was just looking." I muttered, sitting back down on the bench. 

"I'm not your mom." Clementine said, sitting down next to me. 

"Nope, much worse." I muttered, doodling randomly on my biology homework. Clementine faked insult. Then she got up, walking over to the machine, putting money in. I raised an eyebrow and watched as she brought out a bag of fritos. 

"Here, we'll share. That way if I'm poisoned, we both are." Clementine said, opening the bag as she sat down next to me. 

"Gee, thanks." I giggled, reaching in and taking some of the corn chips. 

"Of course. What are friends for?" Clementine snickered. 

Psychology came quickly and we entered the classroom silently. I took my seat, glancing up quickly at the desk to see Professor Barnes staring at me. I immediately looked away, getting easily flustered and I crossed my legs tightly, squeezing them so hard I felt them crack. Man I hadn't done that in a long time. 

Professor Barnes snapped the door closed as the bell rang and the class immediately went silent. He reminded me of Severus Snape and how his classes were always silent without speaking a word. Well, in the books anyways. I would've liked to have seen more of his sexy self in the movies. I'd have to read a smutty fanfiction after I finished all my homework.  [Any suggestions?]

"We're going over Chapter 2 this week, which is Research Designs." Professor Barnes said with no preamble, putting a small stack of papers in front of Destiny, who sat in the front on the left hand side. She took one off the top, starting to pass them down. "This is the glossary for this chapters terms." 

I took the list, passing the stack behind me, before quickly surveying the words. 

-Confounds -Correlation -Dependent Variable -Experimenter Expectations -Independent Variable

I looked up from the list as Professor Barnes continued to speak. "I'm sure all of you learned in science the scientific method when doing experiments. If not, pay attention to your science teachers. I'm not wasting my time teaching you something you should've learned in sixth grade." 

And this was why I liked Professor Barnes teaching. His no nonsense attitude. Now if I could just get him to hate me a little less. . . 

"You should, by the time we're done with this chapter be able to understand the difference between correlational and experimental designs, how to interpret correlations, understand what a longitudinal study is, and the strengths and weaknesses of the different research designs we'll be learning about. Though my hopes aren't high." 

I bit my tongue so I didn't smile. 

"Miss Silvertongue," My heart stopped, the urge to smile gone, cheeks immediately turning red, "What do you think the difference between correlational and experimental designs are?" 

I had no answer, so I just shook my head. I didn't even know what correlational designs were yet! How could I answer what the difference between them was? 

"Simply put," Professor Barnes continued, not bothering to check with anyone else while Clementine glare daggers at him from her side of the room, "An experimental involves the manipulation of variables and correlational does not." 

He then went on to talk about people like Uri Geller and Elizabeth Dunn and their effects on Psychological research. As the lesson came to a close and the class was dismissed, Professor Barnes stopped in front of my table. 

"Yes Professor?" I asked quickly, barely looking him in the eye. 

"Did you accept Professor Rogers request?" Professor Barnes asked without preamble. I wasn't sure why he was asking me, since I knew he had overheard the conversation. 

"Yes, which you know." I said before I could stop myself, but he didn't seem upset. On the contrary, it seemed almost as if he smiled for a second. 

"A word of advice, take advantage of this." Professor Barnes said. "Dress professionally. Like a secretary specifically. And don't misunderstand him either. You won't get favoritism in his class just because you're working for him." 

"I don't plan on laxing in my studies sir." I replied, cursing myself mentally. I hated that with him I slipped into calling him 'sir' when I should be saying 'Professor'. 

"Good." Professor Barnes said with a note of finality, turning away. I hesitated and then left the classroom, finding Clementine waiting in the hallway. 

"What did he want?" She asked, disgruntled. 

"Just to give me advice about my job with Professor Rogers." I said with a shrug. "I'm glad I got the tip on dress code, I didn't even think about it." 

Now that I had been told however, I started to feel a panic. 

What exactly did a secretary wear? 

[or-something-better]

October 4, 2022

🔮✏️🚨🔮✏️🚨🔮✏️🚨🔮✏️🚨🔮✏️🚨🔮✏️🚨🔮✏️🚨

This week’s Writing Topic comes from Gabe

Gabe

Best Vincent Price impression

coffin opening  Good evening ghouls, boys and Bela! As terrifying as the idea of writing your thoughts might be, I have some merging this week made to make your skin crawl, to bring out the darkness within. This week I’m just DYING to know what it is that keeps you up at night, what makes you text message your mommy’s and cling to your teddy bears praying for sunrise. Whether it be giant spiders, the walking dead, things that go bump In the night! This week’s assignment if you dare in sharing your characters DEEPEST, DARKEST, CREEPIEST FEAR  who knows with a group like our you may end up facing your fear, or die trying  evil laughter  

the coffin slams shut

……………………………………………………

Charlie

My biggest fear…. Have to admit this is a tough one to write. I sometimes make it seem as if nothing can hurt me or get to me… it’s just a façade. I work hard to prove myself valuable because I fear being alone, or forgotten. Mostly everyone I’ve been close to or loved, I’ve lost. So for the most part I keep my distance, or make friends with those who are impossible to lose. Maybe it’s shallow, but I have this need to matter to people…. Not to be important per se, but just to matter. For it to be noticed if I’m not around, for it to feel different without me. I often wonder if what I do is enough, or if I’m enough…. My biggest fear is that the answer will be no.  (Charlie really is me, this applies to my character and real life; naturally I am a people pleaser and want to make everyone happy. Learning that isn’t possible was a harsh reality for me….but a valuable lesson)

……………………………………….

Patience

My biggest fear. Well while I am terrified of spiders, snakes and clowns (I know right I don't think anyone knew that about me). While I'm still pretty new with the team and do my absolute best. I think my biggest fear I have to say is that one the team will think I'm still a bit too young for this kind of job. But I love it so much. I love being able to go fight monsters and demons and hell just the other day we got rid of Hellboy. I wouldn't want to leave for anything else in the world. Yeah I chose to even do this over my dad so yeah that's my biggest fear.

…………………………..

Crowley

(Gabe said we could do real people and character. I'll do Crowley’s later. Maybe tonight or tomorrow, but right now I'm kinda in a bad place so. Here's my real GREATEST fear. Juliets.....)

My biggest fear……..is not something I ever really try to think about. It’s something that lurks within me every day. It nags constantly at the back of my mind. It’s that thought that keeps me awake just as I almost fall asleep. It’s fed constantly by my self-doubt and countless insecurities. While it connects to Crowley’s, it’s not quite the same. While for Crowley his greatest fear is to be well and truly alone, mine is more fueled by my issues with abandonment. My greatest fear is that everyone I care about, those people who I love and that say they love me, truly just tolerate me out of pity. That they keep me around since they know I will bend over backwards for them, or because I’m just convenient. Because I’d honestly rather just be alone than be a bother to them. I fear that you all just…..humor me? I fear that one day I’ll just…..crack and fall apart, only to find that I’m not worth putting together the pieces. That one day I can’t just be the strong one like I always am, only to find that that’s my only use? I’m the person who buys birthday and Christmas gifts, and even just random little trinkets because giving people things that make them happy makes me happy, but what if I’m just buying their affection? I’ve already had so many friends say they love me, only to ditch me. I’ve put together a friend group’s, only to get iced out of them. My own father claims he loves me, only to stand me up every time we arrange to meet, and asks me to reach out to him only to get GHOSTED. My greatest fear is just……what if I’m unlovable….

…………………………………….

Gabe

(I hope this isn’t too much guys)

Fears? Fears aren’t really my thing and I’ll be blunt and tell you why. It’s simple. I don’t care what happens to me. Trust me, I could tell you horror stories of what has and it would blow your mind. I should be a statistic. I should be a cautionary tale. I say all this and all of you might be thinking I’m writing as myself and not as Gabe, but the truth is If you strip away the celestial powers and you take away the immortality, Gabe is me. It’s my favorite thing about Gabe is the wise fracking smart as with the “devil may care attitude is who I really am . When you take in a character or you find your favorite characters in a book or in a show the reason, in my opinion, is that you can relate to that character. You can see through their eyes, and it doesn’t always have to be the main character. Gabe, Cass, Balty, you put them together. You’ve got me the man behind the mask who will be brutally honest, and loyal while telling you to go fuck yourself in a way that will have you laughing.  That actually leads to my fear.

My fear, in my opinion, is exactly what Gabe’s, or Cass’s or Balty’s would be. See those of you who have gotten to know me know that I don’t care what you do to me: hate me, beat me, torture me, shit I’ve been through worse I can tell you that much for sure, but what you NEVER do, is fuck with or hurt the people I care for, the people I love. I’m a pacifist, until you cross that line.

Maybe I’m beating around the bush, maybe I’m being too deep and telling you too much about me. So to put it out there plainly, my biggest fear is something happening to the people I love and being helpless to stop it. Gabe, he’d die before letting anything happen to Donna, his kids, his team. So would Cass. While Balty may not care for the humans, he sure as shit cares about his brothers deep down, as Lucifer killed Cass for hurting Michael I believe Balty would would do them same for his brothers .

I’ve dealt with loss my whole life. I watched my scout master die, I was 13 when my mom passed away at just 33, I was 9 when my cousin died at 16 and only 23 when my sister passed at 21. Maybe that’s what it is.

Nightmares that keep me up? Lexxie, Kimberly, little Cass or any of my children being hurt, kidnapped, hurt or even killed, and it doesn’t stop their. It’s happened with this group. Nightmares of getting calls from members of this group telling me Sam or Charlie or Donna, or Ellen or Ruby or any of you being hurt or worse. Of you going missing or people not hearing from you for days on end. “Gabe this is Charlie’s husband I thought you should know”, “Gabe it’s Ruby I need to tell you about Sam”, “Gabe it’s Bela somethings happened to Henry”, “Gabe it’s Charlie, are you sitting down, Somethings happened to Ruby”, “Cass it’s Meg, It’s about Ellen” “Eileen “ “Jo” “Patience” “Crowley” “Luci” “Bela” “Alex” ….. “Mr. Perry I’m officer whatever, your daughter Lexxie, we found her” and so on and so on.

Horror movies!? Heights? Planes? Things that go bump on the night? Bring them on. Beatings, torture, being killed, it’ll hurt like fuck and I’ll want it to end, but still NOTHING compared to losing the people I care for, nothing compared to knowing I couldn’t do anything to help or save them, NOTHING compared to the nightmares the fear the anxiety of that phone call that message telling me I’ve lost someone I care about. THAT, to me, is the most terrifying thing in all the worlds!

……………………………………….

Bela (Dean)

My biggest fear

I don't share too much of the real me but do it better in writing than in person. There aren’t too many things in real life that I fear. But I know I do have one and it’s something I struggle with constantly. First I’m gonna share a little history about me only because it kinda explains this fear I have. I’m not going to go into much detail because some things can be triggering. So I will just explain I was adopted when I was 4. For very good reasons we will say and I will leave it at that. Been blown off and not been accepted by blood family just because of who my mother is.

Growing up I tried to make friends only to get bullied and made fun of or beat up. I didn’t understand. I used to be a people person shockingly. Because that failed, by high school I made it a point to be friends to the kids that everyone saw as being different. The kids who were constantly bullied because they weren’t as smart as everyone else or they didn’t look or dress a certain way. The kids nobody wanted to be friends with even though they deserved to have friends too.

Well at home growing up I hated dresses rather where jeans and a tshirt hat backwards etc. Got told a lot by my father I was the boy he always wanted. I wasn’t into all the girlie things "girls should be into" I was my own person. Got talked down to by the parents who chose to adopt me to give me a better life... Did they really? My brother had a learning impairment. They favored him straight out. While I was never good enough.

High school... I got bullied there too. Literally drug through the mud on a rainy day. Kids used to take the tassles and hit them off their feet and send them flying at me.   Those things hurt and leave welts!. High school I got bullied for being friends with the kids that were bullied. So basically never really accepted anywhere.

Fast forward..... Found rp went through groups where I and Alex both got bullied a lot. Went through that was gonna give up on that too. Connected with Gabe, as Cass, in the 2nd group I got bullied in.. Should have left when he did. So then wasn’t in one for awhile. But I finally decided to ask Gabe to join. And found the place I was accepted and loved.

Yes I’ve been stupid messed up.  Got myself kicked. Got given lots of chances... But Gabe never stopped talking to me no matter what. Charlie never stopped talking to me no matter what. That’s when I actually knewIi found a good family. That’s when my fear started too. I had finally found my family. People who legit care. Even when I’ve messed up they still fought for me. Still there still had my back.

Now... My biggest fear.... Messing up bad enough to lose it all. Losing Gabe, Charlie, all of you right here. You all accepted me back. Did I deserve it? Not really. But yall accepted me. I won’t go into details. But think I almost lost it again... But my biggest fear is losing any of you for good. Of course if anything ever happened to either of my kids, sibling(s) even my parents.......

Here in this group. Yall have shown me things and how much somebody actually can care that I haven’t seen in my entire life. I fear losing this.... And of course with Gabe on fearing anything bad happening to any of yall or my family. I have to think a bit on Bela’s before I can write fears for her... But this was mine.

…………………………………………..

Alex

Alex fear: fearing losing her children and fear losing her team and Gabe and Cass and Gabe and Donna kids and I remember when I was very very first group I was with Dean he was my first group first met. I was treated by I should not be name after I got kick I went to Cass and Gabe group Cass hugs me and then when Gabe and Cass and Donna left last 2 group and persons was so mean to me and I left and I ask Gabe and Donna help me create group and I meet sweet Sam Ruby and Henry and Charlie and we all left and build this group we create 💖💖 I love you all

My fear:

My fear after my cousin Jasmin pass I drink lot and I thought about killing myself while ago but I didn’t.

I am scared of death I am scared of losing everyone and my fear is death and I know I need help stop drinking and now I am not drinking and I didn’t go out buy more beer I am drinking coffee Starbucks

……………………………………..

Henry

My biggest fear well I got serval actually. I’m afraid of getting lost if I’m out in an unknown area and lose myself I start to cry. I’m scared of new places that are big and crowded in to cling to people. If I’m focus on something I will be fine in airplanes if not I’m a crabby person till I land. Umm what else am I afraid of? Oh yeah losing people or myself mentally. People leaving me I feel like it will be my fault. I think that’s it.

…………………………….

Ellen

So I would definitely start like everyone of my family members.  That yes, OUR biggest fear is losing each other.

But let me tell you about something else.. SPIDERS 🕷... yuck, yuck yuck those are one of my biggest fears. I get so tremendously sick when I see one. And can you imagine! Of all the things we've all been through, and the monsters we've hunted, the losses we have gone through and seen. I mean for crying out loud.... the dam APOCALYPSE! Spiders. I'm so scared of spiders and that they are gonna crawl in our ears and eat our brains. And then Dean would really be able to hunt zombies.. noo, no fear of zombies.. (maybe because people dont scare me anymore, idk) Like you'll be standing there and turn around and BOOM one jumps on you! aaaaahhhhh. So needless to say, that is my biggest fear.

SPIDERS

……………………

(Dean)

my biggest fear (for Bela)

What do I fear most? That is a tough question... I’m not sure I have any fear really. I mean I guess everyone does and I am still human. I guess... If I had to choose... It might be not having power over certain situations. When things happen beyond my control. Things that leave me helpless.  I guess that’s why I do what I do... I made a deal because I couldn’t stop what was happening with my father. And my mother did nothing to help either I was helpless and needed out so I did what I had to do.

Then I lost power over myself when I was left helpless as my deal came to an end and the hellhounds took my life.   I did what I had to in order to bargain and try to stay on top but that failed when they wanted me to kill Sam and I failed.

I turned to being a con and stealing valuable things to earn a living to still feel I had some control over myself and my success. Is it the right way no, maybe not... But it works. Now I have to prove myself that I dont have to do those things so I need to find other avenues to not remain helpless.

My biggest fear then would be

1) not being able to earn trust from those around me. With those I would like to have a friendship with.

2) losing control or power over myself being left helpless. Most dont trust me... I will do what I have to in order to gain that trust because while yes. making a living stealing or making fakes of antique or valuable things. I still have control over that. I can choose to befriend those I wont steal from. If I can earn that trust.

So, I fear rejection and loss of power over myself or even losing myself or those very few I do have that I do honestly respect and care about even if they dont trust me right now.

………………………………………………

Sam

(Warning... Sam and I are both pretty wordy and have a real tendency to over-share. Find a comfy chair, maybe grab a sandwich and something to drink... this might take a bit)

 Sam

I can easily identify what scares me the most, because it’s already happened to me… and it isn't Clowns, although I will forever find them creepy and believe it or not, it's not losing my brother or someone else I deeply care about. 

Don't get me wrong, _that_ would be horrible and something that I would have to suffer with and deal with for the rest of my life. But still... No. 

Like I said at the start, my biggest fear has already happened once to me. It still wakes me up in a cold sweat of terror often and haunts my psyche in ways it’s hard to describe.

My fear is losing Dean to Hell again, or to a fate like it. Knowing that he's gone from my life, but alive and having to enduring unspeakable torture day after day, hour after hour makes my blood run cold. I'm sure that my own stint in the cage below just adds fuel to that horror, overlaying my own experience with Dean's. But it’s more than knowing that, it’s also about knowing my absolute powerlessness to do anything about it.

Not sure if all of you know this or not, but time in Hell is not synonymous with ours. For every month that goes by here... ten years go by in Hell. Magnifying the true meaning of eternity.

So that's it...

Gabe, if you're reading and planning to file our answers away somewhere... how about we just go with “Clowns”.

 Me

 I'm like Gabe and Charlie with their characters, in the fact that Sam and I seem to share a _Brain_. I say this all the time and it isn’t just hyperbole because I "get" him in a million ways I'd probably never be able to explain to any of you.

For ME, just like Sam, my greatest fear has already happened to me. It also haunts my psyche and affects my life every single day and I am absolutely powerlessness to change anything about it.

Like the Demon piece Sam found out he carried, I found out I carry a demon of my own, in the form of a Brain Tumor. To quote my alter-ego “I can’t ever rip it out or scrub it clean. I’m a whole new level of freak.”

My fear is losing who I AM. Well, who I am NOW… because it’s already happened to me once. This isn’t who I always was in my life. I lost that person, that life and all those dreams after brain surgery in June 2020. Who I am Now is worlds different from who I was before. Then RP used to be a huge part of my life, so much so, that I moved from one coast of the US to the other to enhance it. For 8 years it was a bedrock of my life, as important as the friendships I had in reality. Having to give up RP along with everything else, shattered me. It’s taken me a full two years to not hate being alive. A lot of the credit for that goes to all of you guys, for letting me play here and experience RP life again through Sam’s, I admit flawed, eyes.

Sam and I have another thing in common, our journeys aren’t yet over. There are major things we’ll both have to face, for Sam that’s currently an un-life in The Empty and for me it’s a second brain surgery in just 20 days. I know that Sam will be hoping that the Team discovers where his is and can look past his actions… I will be hoping that the Team can look past my inevitable surgery-related changes to who I am trying to be.

We, Sam and I, think you guys hold the power to save us both.             

[crimeronan]

shoutout to this post i made almost three years ago. i wish i could go back in time and tell my slightly-younger self what a Time we were about to have. scrolling through the early days of my autoimmune tag is wild because past me is oversharing about my diagnoses and the fact that i might be dying and the fact that i keep finding eulogies instead of support groups when i look for community online, but i am...... not sick yet.

like. i definitely Think i'm sick, at the time. i am definitely tired and fevered and feel like shit, i'm using organ transplant reject drugs and having biopsies done and doctor's faces keep going gray when they see my skin and pharmacists keep giving me Terrible Pitying Looks when i fill my new scripts,

but i am not sick yet.

we have not yet explored the true event horizon of what it means to be sick. i am sick like most chronically fatigued spoonies online but.... i am going to learn a Lot more about how sick a body can really get.

anyway. i wish i could tell my slightly-younger self that we're about to lose the Entirety of our mid-twenties to illness. and we'll come out the other side blinking and confused and stumbling like a newborn lamb, feeling like we just went through a dark subway tunnel that folded us from one shore to the other, there's a void in the middle that's only accessible through the posts somebody made for all those years. someone made those posts with our hands. we sure don't remember them, though!

we won't feel any different than we did at 24 not just because we were inside for years due to a pandemic, but also because our brain was shutting down. we'll also feel like an entirely separate person from the 24-year-old self who didn't know yet what being sick was.

wish i could tell my slightly-younger self that now, as of writing this, when we're nearly 28, we'll be on the highest possible therapeutic dose of hydroxychloroquine, and that as long as we escape any rare medical complications from that, we'll be taking it for the rest of our life. wish i could tell them we're about to sacrifice three full years for the chance to live a whole, self-actualized life at the other end of hell.

wish i could tell her things are going to get way way way worse and then they're going to get a lot better. knocking on wood about it of course because there's always the chance of climate catastrophe or natural disasters or new illnesses or other calamities interfering with life plans. but if i don't jinx myself, i could tell her we've got the rest of 28 and 29 and then our 30s and 40s and beyond to be awake and happy and alive. we are still Young. losing a handful of years and having strange new lines around our eyes doesn't change that.

dunno what else to say here. i found this post a few weeks back in the "related posts" suggestions when looking at my own blog and it made me laugh aloud bc i was like. oh honey. ohhh honey. you don't even Know yet. you are going to be so different in three years and you're also going to be exactly the same.

i guess the conclusion here is that i can't tell my three-years-ago self what's coming but i can tell the chronically ill ppl following me: please for the love of GOD pursue diagnosis and treatment for your weird physical bullshit. sorry i know it sucks and hurts and is bad i know. doctors and the healthcare system are a nightmare to navigate, especially now w/ the medical sector collapsing in the wake of post-COVID problems, but you never know when your baseline of "i feel sick" is going to deteriorate Beyond Reckoning.

be kind to your future self. be kind to your past self. i don't want anybody else to learn what this kind of sickness feels like if they can avoid it.

anyone else ever have that chronic illness feel of like. yes i know people can get sick at any time and there are plenty of diseases you’re more likely to get if you’re UNDER 40 and many many many of the people in my social circle have chronic illnesses while being around my age but also. bro i am 24 come on

[ioasaya]

Translation under the cut!!

澄み渡ってく 青と green（青と green)

Sumi watatteku ao to green (ao to green)

A crystal clear blue and green (blue and green)

記憶の海が広がる （広がる）

Kioku no umi ga hirogaru (hirogaru)

The sea of remembrance expands (expands)

笑い合っている 僕らを wo-o-ow

Waraiatteiru bokura wo wo-o-ow

Our laughter, drowned out wo-o-ow

打ち消すような波音（波音）

Uchi kesu you na nami oto (nami oto)

By the sounds of the waves (waves)

目閉じて 風が触れ

Me tojite kaze ga fure

Close your eyes and feel the wind

段々と沈んでく光と

Dandan to shizundeku hikari to

Little by little, submerge yourself alongside the light,

遠ざかる闇の背に抱かれて

Souzakaru yami no se ni dakarete

Letting the distant darkness embrace you

溶け馴染んでくいつでも

Toke najindeku itsudemo

Familiarize yourself with the feeling of melting away, always

Beautiful

baby can’t you see 踏み出して

baby can’t you see fumidashite

baby can’t you see, take a step forward,

塗り替えてく my 10plate

Nurikaeteku my 10plate

Repaint my template

伝うは滲んだ　あの日の色彩の妙

Tsutau wa nijinda ano hi shikisai no myou

So it’ll clearly convey the colors of that day’s wonders

Everyone listen to this song

世界中へ

Sekaijuu e

All over the world

繋がってる sunset bay

Tsunagatteru sunset bay

The sunset bay connects us

飛び立った blue bird またここへ帰るよ

Tobitatta blue bird mata koko e kaeruyo

The blue bird that flew off will definitely return again

Ah, thank you now (Don’t forget your)

I remember (Yes I do promise)

I’m telling you (Don’t forget your)

I remember  (Yes I promise)

切り取られた空は rain

Kiritorareta sora wa rain

The rain cut through the skies

乱反射して弾けた

Ranhanshashite hajiketa

And a distorted reflection showed

手上げてキミが見え

Te agete kimi ga mie

Hold up your hand, you’ll see

段々と近付いてく瞳も

Dandan to chikazuiteku hitomi mo (This time I promise)

Little by little we’ll grow closer, our eyes too (This time I promise)

寄り添う僕の背を重ねて

Yorisou boku no se wo kasanete

Lay me down and cuddle close

委ねればいい いつでも

Yudanereba ii itsudemo

You can lower your guard, always

Anytime

baby can’t you see キミ無しで（Yeah!)

baby can’t you see kimi nashide (Yeah!)

baby can’t you see, that without you (Yeah!)

意味など無いよ my 10plate

Imi nado nai yo my 10plate

There’s no meaning in my template

伝うは描いた僕らの色彩の調

Tsutau wa egaita bokura no shikisai no chou

Conveying our very own colors

Everytime listen to this song

世界中へ（Yeah!)

Sekaijuu e (Yeah!)

All over the world

輝いていてく on my way

Kagayaiteku on my way

It’s shining, on my way

奏で hummingbird

Kanade hummingbird

Sing along, hummingbird

そっと耳澄まして

Sotto mimi sumashite

Quietly listening

Ah, thank you now (Don’t forget your)

I remember (Yes I do promise)

I’m telling you (Don’t forget your)

I remember (Yes I promise)

On my way

(Don’t stay, don’t change your 10plate,

don’t stay the same)

まだ見る 10plate

Mada miru 10plate

Still looking at a template

(Don’t stay, don’t change your 10plate,

don’t stay the same)

My way

続いていく景色を（景色を）

Tsuzuiteiku keshiki wo (keshiki wo)

Let’s go see it, the endless scenery (scenery)

キミの手引いて見に行こう（見に行こう）

Kimi no te hiite mi ni ikou (mi ni ikou)

While hand-in-hand (let’s go see it)

T/N: Everyone listen to this song　♪♪

It’s so gentle??? The sounds of the waves are so soothing asdfghjkl

I’m also like. Super deaf. It’s hard to hear some words ;;

10plate = template = 1) something that serves as a model for something, like blueprints, or 2) something used to distribute weight in a wall or something

#2 def describes Ryuu lol

blue bird = a symbol of happiness usually

hummingbird = symbolizes chasing after your dreams or the good in life??? idk man

「 伝うは滲んだ　あの日の色彩の妙 」

「伝う」is convey, and「滲んだ」is to say clearly, so, following the previous line, the template is meant to convey「あの日の色彩の妙」clearly.「あの日の色彩の妙」being literally “the wonders of that day’s colors”. Though since something is being painted onto the template, it makes more sense if the colors are what’s describing something

Similarly for「伝うは描いた僕らの色彩の調」

「描いた僕ら」= the ones who painted was us/ we, who painted/drew, and「調」= “style”, the colors of which is being attributed to us? SO something like, “Conveys the colors we painted on to describe ourselves”? I think

「寄り添う僕の背を重ねて」

「寄り添う」= cuddle close, so this part translates literally to “lay on the back of me, who is cuddling close (with you)”

which leads into the next time, “you can lower your guard” presumably because Ryuu isn’t going to do anything to make you uncomfortable

Sweetest boi hands down

IMHO this song suits him so much more than Risky na Kanojo

Someone draw a soft Ryuu in the water please

If anyone could spare Ryuu’s bday rabichats, I could add songwriter/composer’s comments!

And as always, please correct me if any translations are wrong!!

[moonlit-jeno]

friends (m.)

pairing: lee jeno x fem reader

genre: explicit sexual content | omegaverse | heat sex | unprotected sex | some name calling

words: 3.6k

don’t like don’t read :)

“Your heat’s coming up.” Jeno says, point blank in between bites of his apple. You just nod, taking a break from your notes to side eye him. It’s not odd for him to know intimate details of your life- you do make sure to keep him updated on your cycle just so that he can send you the notes for the days you miss - but it’s not exactly a common subject for the two of you. “Who are you spending it with?”

There are still 13 powerpoint slides for you to grind through, but you figure a small break won’t hurt. Might as well use the conversation topic for something good, aka a reason to slam your laptop shut. You turn to Jeno, giving your best friend your full attention, and take the iced coffee right out of his hand. He doesn’t protest. “No idea. Would call Jaemin but he’s ‘found the one’ or something, so I’ll probably just spend it by myself.”

“By yourself?” Jeno’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline as if you’ve just admitted to committing a sin. It’s not like the concept isn’t unheard of, there’s a market full of toys to help you through it. “Isn’t that dangerous?” You shrug and take a sip of the coffee, offering him your smoothie in exchange. He takes a sip and then bites down on your straw. His entire face scrunches and he yanks his face away from the beverage. He pulls the straw up, inspecting the now soggy and dented object with disgust. “Fuck, what is this made out of?”

“Paper.” You huff a laugh out through your nose, taking your smoothie back. “And I mean, it’s not any more dangerous than spending your heat with the wrong person. Plus, my heats get kind of… intense.” If Jaemin sleeping for three days straight and limping after is anything to go by, both parties take the short end of the stick. You’d felt so bad after and apologized to him profusely, but he had just thrown you his signature dazzling grin and told you that drowning in pussy was exactly the way he envisioned himself dying. He definitely didn’t complain about the brownies you’d baked him as a ‘thank you’, though.

“Spend your heat with me.” The bold request has your brain malfunctioning, at a loss for where to even start reacting to his statement. You just stare at him, mouth opening and closing repeatedly while he returns the gaze earnestly. “Look, it makes sense, right? I know you better than anyone, and you already trust me. Plus if they’re as intense as I’ve heard they are, you need someone there.”

You frown, opening your laptop up and staring blankly at the screen just to avoid having to look at Jeno. It does make sense to have him there with you, and it’s not like he’s the worst person to have sex with. Plenty of people around campus have delighted in talking about their nights with Jeno, dreamily telling you how lucky you are to have him and falling deaf to your insistence that the two of you aren’t like that. Plus, you’re not blind and even if you’re not the cute couple everyone thinks you are, you can admit that he’s hot.

“Wait, hang on. What do you mean ‘heard’ about? What shit is Na Jaemin saying?” Jeno’s shoulders shake with his laughter at your sudden concern. “I mean, he didn’t say anything, but that was kind of the problem. He didn’t show up to practice for like a week and when he finally did, he looked like he’d been mauled. Coach had to bench him.”

Your heart drops slightly at hearing that Jaemin’s soccer had been affected. He hadn’t told you that. “Oh.” The guilt must show on your face because Jeno is quickly soothing you, making sure to tell you that they all found Jaemin’s state funny. “Okay, wait. Wouldn’t you have the same problem if you help me?”

“It’s off-season. So, what do you say?” Jeno waits for your response expectantly, eyes soft, curious. “You can say no, y/n. I don’t want to pressure you at all, I’m just letting you know that it’s an option.” “I’ll think about it.” And you do. A concerning amount.

You spend that night tossing and turning, trying and failing to shut your brain off. Worries about ruining your friendship and about hurting Jeno bounce around your brain no matter how much you try to stop thinking about it. What if something bad happens during it? What if you never talk again? And worst of all is your brain telling you that he doesn’t actually want you specifically, he just wants to be with an omega in heat. You’re just convenient. 

That thought actually makes you cry and you wrap your blankets even tighter around yourself, sobbing weakly into your pillows. In an effort to distract your wandering mind you grab for your phone, opening instagram to find an influx of dm’s from Jeno. It calms you a bit, the messages ranging from cute dogs to absolutely cursed memes, and you smile softly at the reminder that he’s your best friend, and that he definitely cares about you. Biting your lip, you hesitate for only a few moments before typing out a “you can help”, hitting send before you can second guess it. You lock your phone and set it face down on the dresser, thankfully finding sleep as soon as your head hits the pillow.

It’s hot when you wake up, clothes clinging to your skin uncomfortably. Peeling your shirt off only gives you relief for a moment but then the sticky heat is back full force. You whimper in misery, trying to snuggle back into your bed for at least some comfort, but you find that the corner of your fitted sheet has come up, the rest of your blankets on the floor. There’s only one pillow near you and it’s soaked in sweat. You panic slightly, frantically yanking your sheets back onto the bed and trying to fluff them up as much as possible, only calming down once the bedding has been fixed to your liking. Only once you’ve settled down in the plushness of your blankets do you have a moment of clarity.

“Oh shit.” You shoot up and search for your phone, dropping it once before finally managing to open the correct app. There’s a few messages from Jeno that you don’t bother looking at, going straight for the ‘call’ button. He picks up on the third ring.

“Hello?” He sounds groggy, like he’s just woken up, and a flash of heat runs through you at the low tone. “Why are you calling me at 5 a.m?”

You manage to stop fantasizing about your best friend long enough to choke out the word “Heat.” It comes out pathetic and whiny and you pause to clear your throat, trying to keep a clear head as well. “I’m sorry, my heat came early and I wanted to call you but you can go back to bed, I didn’t realize-”

“Fuck, okay, I’ll be over in 10.” Jeno cuts off your rambling with a swear, some rustling in the background accompanying his words. 

“Thank you.” You whisper, setting the phone down and curling up in bed, trying not to focus on how agonizingly slow the time is passing.

Jeno’s looking down at his shoes when you open the door, kicking idly at the door mat and fidgeting with the bag in his hands, though his head snaps up when he notices you. The smile on his face falters when he inhales, turns a little strained as he gets a taste of your heat, and you honestly give him props for the amount of restraint he has. It’s definitely more than you have, at least, because you’re on him the second he’s inside. He ends up sandwiched between you and the door, bag dangling precariously in one hand while he envelopes you in his strong arms. You don’t (can’t) do anything besides bury your face in his chest and whimper, knowing exactly what you want but being too needy and fuzzy to remedy it.  

“Jeno, it hurts.” You whimper and lift your face to nose along the skin just above the collar of his shirt, finding that while the skin to skin contact helps, it doesn’t fully relieve the heat scorching through you, the dull ache screaming for Jeno to take you already. “Please…” He holds you closer to his chest, encasing you fully in his scent, and picks you up bridal style. “I’ve got you baby, don’t worry.”

Being around Jeno does help to ease your stress, but it also serves to make you needier. The warm scent that you’ve grown to associate with the man is stronger than you’ve ever smelled it and it’s making you lose your mind more and more by the second. You’re worried that you’re drooling by the time he sets you down on your bed. He pauses to drop the bag he’s holding on the floor, and then he’s on top of you, strong arms caging you in.

The first kiss is soft, chaste. It would be cute if you weren’t so fucking needy, but you are and it’s just not enough. Unsatisfied, you thread your fingers through his hair and tug, nipping at his bottom lip and tilting your head to the side to get a deeper angle. A groan rumbles in his chest and he returns the kiss with more intensity, trying to take control again. You don’t let him, even if every instinct in your body is screaming at you to just submit.

Jeno shifts on top of you, scooting so that he can fully lay down between your legs. You wrap your limbs around him on instinct, pulling him as close as you possibly can and- oh. The close proximity means that you feel everything when he grinds down, and the feeling of having him so close to where you need him has any semblance of control that you had draining out of your body. You gasp pitifully, annoyance clawing at you from the amount of fabric blocking you from what you want.

“Please,” You almost sob, tugging at his shirt while trying to grind your lower half against his, the pressure of his cock against your center making your eyes roll. Jeno pulls back to yank his shirt off and then he’s back, hands sliding down your body to your panties, tugging the fabric down as far as he can before he growls in frustration and just rips the fabric in half. 

“Shit, you’re so wet.” Jeno moans in awe, breaking the kiss yet again to marvel at your pussy. “Bet I could just slip right in.” He drags his fingers through the slick on your upper thighs, eyes glued between your legs. You’re just about to complain when he finally presses his fingers into you. The initial relief has you moaning sweetly, though it quickly turns to impatient pleas for his cock. You clench around his fingers, reaching a hand down to palm over where he strains against his sweats.

“I need you to fuck me.” You beg, looking at him with what you hope is a convincing expression. “Please Jen, I need you.” “You have me.” He promises you, flicking his wrist faster, curling his fingers just right. “I’m right here baby.” It’s sweet, and under normal circumstances it would be enough, but right now it’s not what you need and the frustration has you on the brink of tears.

You buck your hips and try to arch up as if it’ll magically make him slip in, but Jeno remains as patient and controlled as ever. It’s too hot and every part of your body is screaming for him to fuck you, for him to claim you, and his refusal is killing you. “Alpha please, I need you.”

He absolutely snarls, pinning down your wriggling body with one hand around your throat. The other hand stays between your legs where it continues to strike pleasure into every single nerve ending you have, adding to the fire already coursing through your veins. “What you need is to take what your Alpha’s giving you. You’re not in charge here, okay?” With his face pressed so close to yours you have no choice but to make direct eye contact, staring straight into the most intense gaze you’ve ever seen. His pupils are blown out so wide that his eyes are almost black. Unable to tear your eyes away and as if in a trance, you find yourself nodding. The corner of his mouth quirks up. “Good girl. Now listen to your Alpha and cum.”

It happens almost instantaneously, as if his words were directly connected to a trigger, your body exploding just as soon as the words leave his mouth. Your entire body locks up, mind going blank as the immense pleasure takes hold of you, leaving you clawing at his back and screaming silently into the air. 

The orgasm only serves to thicken the haze in your mind, clouding any thoughts that aren’t related to the Alpha above you and his cock. It takes a moment for your eyes to finally come back into focus enough to make out your surroundings, and you’re greeted by the sight of Jeno with his fingers in his mouth, sucking your essence off of his digits. You’re burning so hot, so much hotter than you think you’ve been before, and it’s hard for you to function. All you can think about is his cock.

“Please,” You beg, swatting at him weakly. “Alpha please, I need you so bad.”

There’s no way that Jeno isn’t being affected by the pheromones clouding the air, but he manages to appear unbothered, his actions rough but nowhere near as desperate as yours. He just laughs lightly at your begging. “Aww, baby needs me?” The rhetorical question is punctuated by a slap, his hand coming down on your pussy hard enough to draw a yelp from you, thighs closing on his hand in a conflicting attempt to relieve the pressure from the hit and keep his hand on your cunt. He laughs meanly and pulls his hand away, drawing back slightly to spit onto your already soaking pussy, rubbing the spit into your skin while he talks. “This pussy belongs to me, yeah? You’re mine now.” Jeno leans down, mouth at your neck so that he can bite at the skin. “That means that I can do whatever I want with you.” You can’t speak, can’t even begin to think about what you should say in this situation. He presses a kiss to your jaw before pulling back and uses his free hand to turn your head so that you make eye contact with him. “Tell Alpha what you need.” “Need Alpha in me.” You beg, plead, flipping yourself over onto your hands and knees and arching your back, presenting yourself to him. “Need your knot, need you to fill me up, breed me, Alpha please-” Your sentence is cut off by his cock slamming into you, the filthy sound being drowned out by his groan. You gasp in relief, breathy thank you’s leaving you with each powerful thrust he delivers. His cock stretches you out so well, makes you go dizzy with the relief of finally having him in you. Your elbows give out nearly instantly, your chest hitting the mattress, and Jeno takes instant advantage of the new position to pull your hips even higher into the air.

It’s so good- almost too good- and it leaves you drooling and clawing at the sheets. All you can focus on is how well he’s fucking you, how he’s going to fill you up so well, breed you like he was meant to. 

You scream when he pulls out, alarm bells going off as your body instantly protests. It only lasts a second though, Jeno’s hands never leaving your body as he flips you onto your back. 

“Couldn’t see you,” Jeno pants out, dropping a kiss to the corner of your mouth and pushing back in, returning back to the brutal rhythm he had before. It has your eyes rolling in your head at how fucking good he feels. “My pretty baby, taking everything I give her.” 

He’s got you so fucked out that you don’t even realize your tongue is hanging out of your mouth until he pinches it between his thumb and index finger, pulling it out even more. “You love my cock, hmm? You love everything I give you.” The pad of his thumb rubs over your tongue, the sensation making your toes curl and tears slide down your cheeks. “Such a fucking needy omega, isn’t that right?” He tugs on your tongue, your head following his actions as he leads you into nodding.

Jeno laughs and lets go of your tongue, dropping his face down to kiss at your neck. He sucks mark after mark into your skin, licking over each one to soothe it after, until he finally gets to your most sensitive, vulnerable spot. Even just the feeling of him close to your mating mark has your entire body aching for it, your neck craning to the side and pushing into his touch. The leverage you get from your legs wrapped around his waist has him pushing even deeper into you and you can feel his knot at your entrance, not quite fully swollen but definitely getting there. It has you absolutely keening, the thought of being so totally owned making you desperate.The sweet drag of his cock along your walls paired with the absolute filth he’s spewing has your body locking up with no warning, your orgasm ripping through you. You arch off the bed, the action only pushing you further onto his cock.

“God y/n, fuck!” Jeno curses, slamming his hips into you with even more force, his knot popping into your entrance and forcing the neediest sound you’ve ever made to leave your lips. You desperately wrap your limbs around him, trying to get him even closer, digging your heels into his ass to push him further inside. He grinds his hips against you one, two, three more times before he shudders, teeth clamping down right on your sweet spot as he comes. Jeno seems to come forever, filling you up with delicious warmth, making your body purr in satisfaction. He finally comes down, having the clarity of mind to tip the two of you onto your sides so that he doesn’t crush you when he collapses. He still tugs you close, arm thrown around your body possessively, his chin resting atop of your head.

“Told you it was intense.” You laugh out, trying to break the silence in the room. The heat’s subsided for now, but you’re still barely in your mind, and you have no idea how long the break will last. 

He huffs out a laugh, chest shaking against you. “I understand Jaemin now.” His hand pets over your back, sliding up to the back of your neck and scratching lightly at the skin there. “You alright?” “Mhmm, yeah. Perfect.” His fingertips press lightly against the mating mark, sending sparks shooting down your spine, and it has your head spinning. You try to adjust yourself against him in an effort to keep your cool, but moving has his cock shifting inside of you and you sleepily grind against him, not thinking. Jeno hisses and tightens his grip on you to keep you still, but the way he grabs your leg has him shifting inside of you and pressing against all the right places. Heat floods through you and your grinding turns more urgent. 

“Ohgod,” You moan, finding enough strength to push Jeno flat on his back. Your body has a mind of its own and you find yourself bouncing desperately on his cock. His knot has you locked into place and you’re barely able to move, but you can still swirl and grind your hips against him, feel the delicious friction of his knot against your entrance. “Alpha, it feels so good.”

“Fuck, look at you. So fucking knotdrunk, hmm? Can’t get enough.” Jeno shakes his head, laughs in a way that’s meant to mock you but it comes out strained. His hands are heavy on your ass, squeezing and slapping to feel the way it jiggles, to feel the way you clench around him with every hit. You throw your head back and let him do as he pleases, losing yourself entirely in how full you feel, in how good his knot feels in you. He buries his face into your chest, moving one hand from your ass to play with your tits, his mouth wasting no time in marking the delicate skin up. 

“Shit baby, gonna make me cum again.” His lips seal over your mating mark again in a sloppy kiss and that’s exactly the final push that you need, your eyes rolling back and your tongue lolling out as your cunt spasms around him, orgasm ripping through you almost painfully. Jeno groans as well, hand flying to your back to pull you as close as possible, and his knot pulses inside of you as you swear you feel more cum shoot out.

He shudders against you, tight grip finally relaxing, though he still keeps you anchored to his chest. You follow suit, collapsing against him. A tired moan leaves you and you let yourself relax, lips absentmindedly mouthing at his skin. His hand pets your back soothingly, touch heavy and sluggish, and the last thing you feel before you fall asleep is his lips on your forehead.

[dreamcatcherrs]

mcyts reaction to you flinching during an argument

TW; slight mention of abuse, angst

+ sad boi hours; open

++ for all of you angst lovers<3

song recommendation: start//end - EDEN

dream:

when he yelled something at you, wanting some sort of response from you and you didn’t give it to him, he grabbed you by your arm angrily and pulled you close to him.

you flinched away from him, turning your head away in reflex to what his next move might be.

he would immediately let go of you, taking a step back. he would just look at you, heart dropping at the fact that you thought he’d ever do something to hurt you in any way.

would feel disappointed with himself even days after the incident, and would even doubt if him being with you was a good thing at all, where you’d have to reassure him for him to eventually forget about it.

georgenotfound:

you and george were having a disagreement about something, keeping a close proximity to each other throughout the argument.

after having raised his voice, he would be lifting his hand to move hair out of his face. and that’s when you flinched, closing your eyes thightly.

george honestly wouldn’t know what to do. he’d just be standing there, stuck in place out of shock. eventually, he’d gently grab your hand, scared to touch your face in case you’d flinch again.

he’d talk to you about how he’d never hurt you, and asked if there was some deeper reason as to why you’d flinched so easily.

sapnap:

he would be so angry at himself, and would probably, before you could even stop him, storm out of the house to clear his mind and think about what he’d just done.

when he came back, he would hug you so hard, tears streaming down his face and repeating phrases like “I’m so sorry” and “I’d never hurt you”.

he’d make sure you knew just how much he loved you, and that you had no reason to ever flinch away from him again. cuddle sessions are a definite yes after an incident like this.

badboyhalo:

oh my god, when I tell you this mans’ heart would break into a million pieces-

he’d crush your body in his arms, coddling you so tightly to him whilst whispering sweet words into your ear. he would feel so crushed.

the poor guy would be crying😖

after that, he would try his best to avoid getting into arguments, or at least avoid ever raising his voice at you again.

technoblade:

would feel really hurt that you thought he’d hit you. lowkey a little disappointed about how you flinched so easily just by him raising his hand slightly, but would push the selfish thought aside and talk to you about it calmly, even though the action had really hurt him.

he wasn't a violent person, and he thought you knew that.

he doesn't want to send you down a guilt trip or anything, but he just feels so… lost? makes him doubt wether you trust him and he could think about it for literal weeks, because he’d have a hard time talking about it.

wilbur soot:

runs a hand over his face, wide eyes staring back at you in shock. it takes him a moment to realise that you had just flinched because of him. that you'd acted out in a way people who are scared do. he doesn't really know what to do at first - he doesn't want to cause more damage.

“y/n…” he trails off, lifting a hand slowly towards you, afraid that he’ll scare you away. the last thing he’d ever want is for you to be scared of him.

he cant just stand there, and he can tell that all you really need right now is some comfort, so he’ll just grab you and pull you right into his arms, apologising over and over again and assuring you that he'd never make you flinch again.

skeppy:

he would be really confused.

like, he would just be standing there with a confused expression on his face until you looked up at him again. 

“did you think I was going to hit you?”

his bottom lip would tremble, and his heart would just be pounding out of his chest.

he’d feel better once you comforted him and told him that you just flinch easily, but he would still think about it sometimes when he looked at you.

karl jacobs:

his eyes would widen, quickly trying to reach out and touch you, only realising that the reason you flinched was because you didn’t want him to touch you. because you’d felt a reason to lift your hands in front of you in defence.

instead he would clasp his hand over his mouth, feeling tears well up in his eyes. and just let out a sob.

and that’s when you quickly ran to comfort him, going down with him when he fell onto his knees.

would profusely be mumbling sorries between sobs. that moment would scar him for a long time ;-;

fundy:

would immediately take you into his arms. he pushed aside how much it hurt to know that you could ever be scared of him, because you came first.

lots of back rubbing and cheek kisses - he would be very worried that you flinched because someone had actually hit you before you eve met him or something along those lines.

would apologise for scaring you and wipe tears away from your cheeks if you were crying.

would have a long conversation with you about it afterwards.

quackity:

would back away from you.

he didn’t know what the fuck to do. if he should comfort you or back the hell away. so he chose the safest option, seeing as you had clearly shown a sign of defence.

you would kinda just look at each other for a while.

“I- did you just-” he would cut himself off trying to form the right sentence.

“baby, I wouldn't hit you. you know I wouldn't… right?”

punz:

like sapnap, he would take off, leaving you in confusion and hurt about how you had so easily reacted like that.

he wanted to be there for you, but he knew that he needed to clear his mind and think about what had just happened before he could do that. once he was outside, he would yell at the top of his lungs, letting out his pain through doing so.

when he entered again, he would start talking about how he was such a dick and should be more careful with the way he moves and that he wouldn't ever hurt you or anything like that.

would ramble on until you shut him up, assuring him that there was no reason to be angry or upset. it would definitely calm him down, but he wouldn't be able to sleep very well that night knowing that he had made you flinch so badly.

awesamdude:

sam is just very shocked. and confused… and generally feels a lot of emotions washing over him all at once. the anger was still there, but he could hold it back for a while if it meant being able to wipe that expression off your face.

with furrowed brows he gently cups your cheeks, relieved when you didn't try to pull away or anything like that. he wouldn't really talk directly about it right then, but rather comforts you. you are his number one priority right now.

“hey, hey, hey. it’s okay, I’m here.” and then just hugs you and lets you cry it out on his shoulder. will talk to you about it later and eventually resolve your previous argument. makes sure you never flinch at him again.

corpse husband:

corpse knows he can get pretty heated in arguments, but to make you flinch… he’d never seen that one coming, and honestly, it would hit him like a truck. he would stumble over is own words, hands clamming to you protectively, only to move away again as he realised the one who he had to protect you from was himself. 

would beat himself up about it a lot afterwards. like, he’d think about that look on your face and just space out, which you would notice of course cause his brows would knit together and he’d look so fucking sad. he’d just be scared to do it again.

eret:

it was the worst thing he'd ever witnessed. you can almost hear his heart crack right into two pieces. he’d just look at you with sad, bulging puppy eyes until you moved to look at him again with guilt dancing in your eyes once seeing his.

“y/n, I… I would never hit you.”

I feel like he could cry depending on how bad the argument had been, but overall he is just very very sad. wouldn't be able to hold back even if he was scared of making you flinch again, and would just hold you. until you were ready to talk about it, he’d be right there with his hands clinging onto you for dear life.

______________________________________

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[pinksloosh]

Run-Away (Obi-Wan X reader)

Requests: Open

Warnings: I’m a little rusty so give me a break lol

 Angst lol

Genre: Obi-wan x reader

Summary: After years of spending time with Obi-Wan, He finally decided to confess his feelings toward you, but things don’t go as plan. They dont go as plan at all. 

Also this is hella short so bare with me for this lol

                    You finally finished another mission with Obi-Wan, He really saved your ass this time when you almost fell out of the ship during an unlucky hit to the side of it. As per usual, You and Obi-Wan decided to grab a drink back at his apartment to relax. You always admired Obi-Wan, Specifically they way he dedicated himself to his work. You admired (hell loved) the way he worked with younglings and encouraged them to help each other. It was part of the reason you loved him, he loved being a jedi and he was damn good at it. 

            “Did you see the way that droid fell like dominos after you pushed one, I’m surprised no one around us laughed!” Obi-Wan says, as he takes another drink from his glass. These late night conversations were frequent after long mission like these, being able to feel the cold air on the balconey may have also helped but you always thought it was Obi-Wan himself that made it better. 

          “I know! I wish Anakin was there to see it! He would’ve keeled over!” You cover your mouth to hide you smile as you laugh. “But honestly if Anakin was there, we might not of been able to get out in one piece if there was three of us.” Obi-Wan nods as he holds his drink up. 

           “To somehow surviving another near death experience!” Obi-Wan says, as you both clink your glasses together. Your face curls in disgust as you down the liquor, the burn causing your throat to burn and cough. You rush to the kitchen and turn the faucet on, drinkning out of it. Obi-Wan follows as he laughs sitting leaning against the counter. 

        “You’re able to fight five men at once but are still unable to handle liquor?” You shut the water off roughly, wiping your mouth. “I’d rather fight ten men at once than have to feel that burning sensation everytime I attempt to get drunk.” He smirks, as his fingers drum on the counter. “Sorry that when I almost experience death I tend to want some of the hard stuff to relax.” You hum in response, adjusting my clothes as I sit on the counter. 

           “You know, One of these days I’m going to get away from all of this. Take a vacation and bathe in the sun. At least, That’s what I tell myself everytime I think of why I’m doing this.” Obi-Wan’s eyebrow raises, a quizzical look across his face.  “Are you saying you want to leave? You don’t want to be a jedi anymore?” You blow air out through your mouth, picking at the counter. 

            “Maybe I just feel like there’s more to life than almost dying every week, but that’s the type of thing that if I say around the council I’d be put on watch.” Obi-wan sighs as he looks at you. He attempts to speak but cuts himself off. 

           “So why not leave? You could run away and no one would think a thing, could fake your death and move to a planet where no one would find you.” You snort, looking up from the counter. “And be all alone? I’d rather fight droids every day then never be able to see you again.” He sighs, before leaning over toward you on the counter. 

        “I’d leave with you, I mean you’re the one who makes these missions survivable and who else would I have take the wheel while I’m piloting and almost have us crash.” You both laugh, bumping shoulders as you lean into each other. 

            “You could never possibly leave.” You laugh,using a hand to cover your mouth. “You’d miss Anakin too much, He’s like your son, and plus you like it here.” Obi-Wan goes silent for a moment, his breathing increases before he begins to speak. 

         “Yes, I like Anakin but I love you.” Your face drops as you realise what he says. He clasps his hands together leaning against the counter. “I’d do anything for you. I always have. We would leave the council, if it meant that you and I could be happy. You know that. You’ve always known that.” Your eyes can’t seem to leave the ground as the silence fills the air.  

        “You love being a jedi, you love the missions, the people, and you love the younglings. You love knowing that you have an impact on the future of the force. I’d never ask you to give that up.” He steps forwards his fingers, wrapping around your arm as he pulls you closer. You don’t seem to realize how close he’s pulled you until you are able to feel his breath on your jawline, sending shivers down your spine. 

       “So you’re saying you’d force me to give you up? You mean more. I’d give it all up if it meant we’d be safe, together.” Your breath hitches into your throat if that wasn’t enough to stop you from speaking, the lump in your throat sure did. 

      Silence fills the air as you feel him come closer, you put your hand on his chest to stop him before talking. “I wouldn’t force you to give me up because you won’t have me. I don’t want you to wake up one day and resent me for holding you back.” His voice is a soft whisper when he speaks. “I could never resent you.” More silence fills the air, as Obi-Wan leans in, your lips almost touching as  he gazes into your eyes for a response. “You don’t know that.” Your hand lands on his chest, gently pushing him away as you head for the door. 

            “I think it’s best if we both have some time apart, for your sake. I think you’ve been drinking too much. ” He grinds his teeth as the words leave your mouth. “No matter what’s in my system I will never not be sure about how I feel for you!” His voice is raised at this point, a vein popped in his neck. 

              “I have to go.” You attempt to leave to find Obi-Wan’s hands cupping your face, his eyes seem conflicted. “Tell me you don’t want me. Tell me that all of those late night on the ship meant nothing. Tell me that everytime you reached for my hand when we were in near-death situations that you just needed support.” Your eyes flicker across his face, your thoughts running a mile- a minute as your unsure what to do, at this point. He lets at a deep breath as his eyes linger on yours until you can finally bring yourself to speak. “I can’t.” His thumb grazes your lips, as they slowly part. “Then stay with me.” You shake your head and take a deep breath. 

           “I’ll see you tomorrow.”  You grab his wrists and lower them being walking out of the door. Obi-Wan sits there as his arms fold into each other, as he swallows the lump in his throat, downing the drink he left on the counter. 

         Obi-Wan never did see you tomorrow. In fact, He never saw you again. he spent the whole night attempting to formulate a way to speak to you after that night but he never got the chance. You left that night, stealing a ship in the process and never found again. Time passed without you, Padme and Anakin got married. Anakin turned to the dark side, Anakin died, Padme and Anakin’s children were born. He knew you’d like Leia, She was a like you and he’d have to stop himself from talking about you frequently. You ran away without a trace, without him, but not without his heart. 

                        You were doomed to always stay, his run-away.

[luveline]

in the morning, afternoon and night [Fred Weasley x Reader]

tags: reader-insert, hurt/comfort, self esteem issues, low self esteem, reader has acne, sad reader, insecure reader

pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

word count: 1.8k

You glared at your reflection.

You'd think with such amazing magical medicine available, some witch or wizard would've invented a cure for acne, or at least a spell that covered it up.

You'd struggled with it since your third year. The muggle doctor you'd seen with your mother had suggested it was hormonal, and would calm down as you got older.

That was years ago.

It shouldn't have been a big deal. It wasn't, really. It wasn't usually very painful, though it was itchy as a stinging nettle and twice as unsightly. A large part of you knew it wasn't your fault, that acne was something that simply affected people at different times in their lives. You'd tried topicals and changing your diet, you'd tried losing weight and exercising and dermaplaning and everything they suggested in your mams fashion magazines.

Nothing worked.

Tears welled in your eyes and you sniffed them back, blinking rapidly.

It might've been silly, but it honestly made you want to hide away. You'd skipped dinner without really thinking, finding your way into the girls bathroom you inhabited now. You straightened your tie and robes, dusting down the sides. You leaned forward again, dabbing under your eyes with your sleeve.

The last thing you wanted was for anyone to know you'd been crying, because then someone might ask why. You didn't want to talk about it, ever.

If Fred saw you like this...

You and Fred Weasley had been almost dating for a few weeks now. Almost, because you hadn't talked about the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing yet.

It had been years of thinking he was the fittest boy in Gryffindor (besides George) and months of meeting his gaze in the corridors and catching his eye over dinner. Gradually it had become something more; he started carrying your books between classes and opening doors, touching your arms and your hair and your face.

You cringed at the memory. He had been so caring, moving to wipe an eyelash from the skin under your eye. You'd violently flinched from his hand, afraid he might feel the bumpy texture of your skin, feel the acne beneath your makeup. He'd been apologetic and a little confused, filling you with guilt. You hadn't been able to find a way to tell him it wasn't him, it was you. Of course you wanted him to touch you, the thought of him cradling your face had been the subject of many dizzy daydreams, but you just couldn't tell him this one thing.

It was your deepest insecurity.

The stress had only made it worse. Redness was easy to cover with muggle make up and even some wizarding tricks you'd learned over the years, but there wasn't a way to smooth your skin, and the acne was textured.

It was depressing. You didn't want to use that word, it felt ungrateful to compare your skin issues to something so severe, but it made you miserable.

You but down on your quivering lip, pushing away from the mirror unhappily and opening the bathroom door, a frown on your face.

"Y/N!" a familiar voice said.

You jumped, startled but unsurprised. Fred had a talent of always knowing where you were. You'd find it creepy if he wasn't so endearing.

"Fred," you said, plastering a smile over your frown. "I was just coming to find you."

"What a coincidence, ma chérie, I was doing the same."

"Well," you began, easily sidling into his space, "you found me."

"Yes, I did," Fred hummed, wrapping his arms behind your neck, grinning.

He took a long look at your face, his forehead creased. "What's wrong?"

"Nothings wrong, Fred."

He moved his hands to your shoulders, looking down into your face searchingly. "Have you been crying?" he asked.

You shook your head, lying without thinking. "Something in my eye,"

"Both of them?"

You stepped backwards. He let go of your shoulders accordingly.

"Y/N?"

"It's really nothing," you said through a forced laugh.

He frowned at you for a few seconds more and his face cleared. "Alright," he said slowly, rolling the words in his mouth, "if you say so, doll."

You opened like a blooming flower at the pet name, your whole face softening. You smiled, hoping he understood that the smile meant, oh I just so adore you, Fred Weasley.

He threaded his fingers through yours, dragging you down the corridor beside him and waxing poetic about their newest lot of Peruvian darkness powder as you went.

-

It got so bad you couldn't go to class.

Okay, so you definitely could've gone to class, but the thought of leaving your curtained bed was enough to make you sick with anxiety, so worried that everyone would see you - see your face.

NEWTs were coming fast and hard. Everyone who wanted to be anyone was working hard studying their asses of, on top of Professor Umbridge's million new rules you had to abide by, including her newest life-ruining rule: Boys and girl are not to be within 5 inches of each other.

What a joke. You struggled through classes, wrote essays so long your hand burned at night and now you weren't allowed to sit next to your almost boyfriend at lunch? It was miserable. It was making you miserable, and now you may as well have sharpied on your forehead how equipped your body was to deal with it.

Fucking badly.

You groaned to yourself, rolling on your side to face the wall. You were at your wits end. It felt endlessly unfair that the thing that was stressing you out most was getting worse from stress.

Your stomach growled hungrily.

You threw your arm over your eyes in defeat, eyes finally filling with tears. You felt so hopeless. There was nothing to be done except keep up your routine until the flare up was over, or until your mothers next 'miracle cure' popped into existence.

The tears felt too hot against your sore skin. You couldn't help but sob quietly to yourself in self-pity.

A knock sounded at the door. You gasped, wiping the tears away in panic.

"Y/N?" It was Alicia. "Are you alright? Can I come in?"

"Yes," you managed. "Yes, of course. It's your room too, after all."

The door clicked open. Alicia appeared, tanned skin completely clear and glowing, though each perfect feature was marred with empathy. "Fred's been begging every girl in the common room to come fetch you, but I told him to leave you be."

"Thank you," you said.

You cleared your throat. Alicia moved her weight from foot to foot, twisting her hands.

"I- Y/N. I won't pretend to know how it feels, but I promise you, Fred won't care. He's beside himself worrying that you're bedridden and dying or-" she laughed to herself, "or that you're still mad at him for the itching powder. What I mean is... he's a good guy, and you're upset. Maybe you should tell him what's wrong. He won't care."

You sniffed. "I know," you admitted, feeling the weight of her shifting the bed. "I know he's a great guy. I just wouldn't blame him if he, if he didn't like me anymore. If he found it ugly. I would understand it, and I think that makes it worse," you choked on your words, heat building behind your eyes.

"Oh, Y/N," Alicia said, placing a tentative but comforting hand on your shoulder.

You lay in quiet, listening to your own ragged breathing.

"I'll go talk to him," Alicia said.

"No! I mean, no. Thank you, but no. I... I'll speak to him myself."

Alicia nodded, rubbing your arm kindly.

The sound of the door clicking shut behind her finally spurred you into sitting up. You dressed in a hurry, chucking a wool jumper over last nights pyjamas.

He wouldn't care, would he? You cringed. Yes, he definitely would. Whatever was between you would stop. He'd have the grace to let you down slowly, drawing away his affections. He was a polite guy, he'd probably even say the whole spiel of "it's not you, it's me". But he would, eventually.

Well, you figured. Let it be quick. Like ripping off a bandaid.

You tread lightly down the steps, hoping to see him before he saw you.

Of course, when the slightest groan on the bottom step sounded, his lovely face whipped to meet yours. He smiled in relief, but it was mixed with something else. Disgust, your brain supplied nastily. He was disgusted. He rose to his feet, smiling smiling smiling. But something in his eyes was different, now.

"Y/N," he said.

"Hi," you said.

"Hi yourself, beautiful. Where've you been all day?"

"I'm... sick. Bad cold," you settled on.

He raised an eyebrow. "You sound okay," he said, not unkindly.

"I..." you looked down at your hands.

A siren was sounding in your head. You didn't think Fred had seen you without make up for the last 3 years. Fight or flight was leaning heavily towards flight.

"Well, are you hungry?"

You shook your head.

"Are you sure? You haven't eaten all day. You need something in your system if you're gonna fight this cold."

"I'm not actually sick, Fred," you admitted under your breath.

"I know."

You looked up. He was still smiling kindly. It was infuriating.

"Look," you said finally, rushed and all at once, "if you don't want to- if you're grossed out. Then it's fine, I'll understand if you don't want to see me anymore."

Fred was stricken.

"I know it's - ugly."

"Ugly? Nothing about you is ugly."

"Fred, my face-"

"No, listen to me, Y/N. It's not ugly. It's not gross. You're not any of those things, are you kidding?" he said, grabbing your hands. "You're beautiful. All the time, in the morning, afternoon and night. You're beautiful in charms and transfiguration and care of magical creatures. You were beautiful yesterday and you're beautiful today and you'll be even more so tomorrow." He stopped suddenly, looking down at your joined hands. His cheeks had turned bright red.

"Smooth, Freddie," came George's voice, from the sofa behind them.

"Shove OFF," exclaimed Fred, growing more red by the second. Heat filled your own cheeks.

"It's skin, Y/N. That's all it is."

"Okay," you said tightly, trying not to cry.

Fred breathed out, his hair shifting in response. His corded arms pulled you tight to his chest. You breathed him in. He smelled sweet and rough, like burning caramel.

He thought you were beautiful.

You smiled into his shirt.

<3<3<3

tag list: @msmimimerton

if you’d like to be added to a tag list, please ask ! for in general or for specific characters, i don’t mind

[thefanficmonster]

Casual

Ranboo x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None, unless talking about the future counts

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Following the arrival of the dreadful invitation to his cousin’s wedding Ranboo turns to the only cover-up he can think of to keep his still-single status hidden from his family.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I’m so glad you sent your idea to me and I’m so glad you were my first official Ranboo request. I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to write it but I still hope you’ll come across it and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Heyyy, so Y/N, I have a favor to ask you...um yeah, call me back, it’s awkward sending it via voicemail. Bye“

Huh - that’s the first thought that goes through my head when I listen to the voicemail left after a missed call from my best friend Ranboo. The favors he usually asks for consist of requesting assistance for his videos in which I also appear with a mask and sunglasses to keep the brand running. I genuinely have nothing against my face being shown but when I think about it, I’m honestly a bit glad people can’t identify me.

Anyways, back to the favors, Ranboo is no stranger to asking me for them but they’ve never been considered too awkward for a voicemail which is why I’m no slightly concerned. I’ve been swamped with work for school and studies for the graduation finals for the past two weeks and it seems like I’ll never get on top of it and I know Ranboo’s been in a similar situation too, so maybe he needs help with that? He’s not used to asking help for school stuff, he sometimes even has a hard time accepting it when I openly offer it to him.

I eventually sigh, decide that playing this guessing game will not get me anywhere and settle on giving him a call as I make my way home from the gym with my legs barely putting up with the task of carrying me around.

He picks up on the second ring.

“Hey! Wh-...“

“Would you pretend to be my girlfriend for my cousin’s wedding next weekend?!“

My legs take that opportunity to stop moving in the middle of the sidewalk which is luckily void of any people at the moment. It’s not my fault my body’s first reaction was to freeze up at the question that came flying at me like an out-of-control jet, almost as though he’s been dying to say it and get it over with.

“Um...run that by me again please, I think I misunderstood.“ I say, blinking blankly as though awoken from a fever dream. No, actually as though I’m IN a fever dream right now.

“Ok, now that the cat’s out of the bag, wanna grab some coffee and talk about it face-to-face. I need to see your facial expressions to gauge what response to expect.“ He says, the previous nervousness gone and his voice calm as regularly once again.

I’m this close to face-palming but I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and bring myself to utter a reply, “Our usual spot. Be there in ten minutes.”

                                                             *  *  *

“No freaking way.“ I shake my head, folding my arms over my chest as I lean back in my seat in the booth we picked when we arrived. Good thing I got an iced coffee cause even a hot one would’ve gone cold by now considering I haven’t yet taken the time to have even a sip of it. I’ve been too busy listening to the long and short of the explanation and begging speech Ranboo probably made last night to try and convince me to agree to this nonsense. “Dude, we’ve been friends since middle school-...“

“Exactly! Who else was I gonna ask?“ He cuts me off, pleading gaze meeting my unimpressed one.

I huff before continuing my previous statement, “We’ve been friends since middle school so you know my opinion on weddings.” I put extra emphasis on the word ‘opinion’, giving him the clear hint at the distaste I’ve expressed on the topic multiple times before.

“And you know we’re on the same page there but there’s no way I can avoid going unless someone kidnaps me.“ He too now gets in the same stance as me, his coffee forgotten too.

I can’t help but snort out a little laugh, “I’d be more than happy to kidnap you considering the other option is far less appealing to me.“

He, of course, rolls his eyes at me as though he didn’t offer to do the same thing so I could avoid an exam but anyways. “So you’re gonna choose to fake a kidnapping that has the potential of landing you in jail over coming to eat some great food and maybe even have some fun at a wedding with your best friend? I’m hurt.“ He says, frowning to cover up the smile that’s fighting its way onto his face.

Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes, “I’d be kidnapping you, dummy...” I cut myself off to let out a long sigh and calm down before I go off at him. His smirk isn’t helping me much with the task either. I’ve known Ranboo long enough to know he’ll eventually convince me and he’s known me long enough to know how to do that exactly. With that in mind, there’s really no point in getting so worked up and wasting my energy. And so, despite my own rationality, I cave. “Fine, but I’m not staying the whole wedding.“

His eyes immediately light up and almost makes me feel the compromise was worth it. Almost. I mean, when you’ve been best friends with someone for so long, seeing them happy is worth more to you than your own comfort sometimes.

And he knows it too. Which is exactly why he outstretches his hand for me to shake and says: “Just one dance and you’re free to go. Deal?”

I take his hand without hesitations. That’s a better offer than I could’ve ever imagined. “Damn straight it’s a deal.“

                                                            *  *  *

“How long until you kick the heels off?“ Ranboo asks, bringing me a non-alcoholic cocktail and sitting down next to me.

I take a sip and giggle, “You kidding? I already kicked them off and replaced them with flats. I need mobility if we dance. They also lower the risk of me severing off a toe of yours if I step on you on accident.”

He laughs, clinking his glass against mine before he gets a bit more serious, “By the way, thanks for handling my family’s attack so well. I know it might’ve been a bit much but you handled it like a pro. Still, I’m sorry on their behalf.”

I shake my head and wave my hand dismissively, “Don’t mention it. I’d probably react the same way if my brother or cousin brought a date to an important family event like this.” I instinctively turn to look in the direction of where the majority of his family has gathered around, chatting with guests, smiling brightly. It’s hard not to immediately take a liking towards these people. They’ve been a second family to me ever since Ranboo and I started hanging out so I completely understand why they were so shocked to see me in the role of his ‘girlfriend’.

“I’ll tell my parents the truth later, our extended family is the ones I wanted to fool to be perfectly honest.“ He looks around as do I and we catch more than a few pairs of eyes fixated on us that turn away when they realize they’ve been spotted, “Mission accomplished by the looks of it.“

I chuckle. I’ve never felt so comfortable at a wedding before. I don’t feel stressed nor anxious despite knowing that there’s quite the number of eyes on me and there are whispers going around about my ‘relationship’ with Ranboo. It’s oddly calming and relaxing to be surrounded by some familiar and some unfamiliar faces. This cocktail is pretty great too.

Speaking of which, if it had any alcohol in it I’d blame it for the decision I’m about to make but this one’s entirely on me: I tap Ranboo with one hand while taking out my phone with the other. “If we’re already the talk of the wedding, let’s give them something to talk about.“ I say as I put up my phone, pretending to be taking a selfie leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

When I pull away I can clearly see that he’s still processing what just happened. I can’t help but burst out in a fit of laughter as I reach out to wipe the lipstick stain I left on his cheek. He looks like a lost, clueless puppy with the question: ‘what on Earth just happened???’ replaying in his head and it’s so freaking cute!

Wait....what was that? Since when do I use the adjective cute to describe Ranboo? Didn’t I think he looks handsome in a suit earlier too? The hell is with me today?

Then it hits me - the feeling isn’t foreign. Like, I know I’ve felt it before but I never analyzed it or even bothered to acknowledge it. But now that I do, I’m afraid of what it might be.

“There!“ I say, desperately trying to push the thoughts away along with this little firework show in my stomach, “Now you have pinker cheeks. Well, cheek, singular.“

As if snapping out of his state of confusion, he returns to Earth with a smirk, “Kiss the other to even it?”

Alright, his blush might not be even but mine now is and it’s ten times as intense and very much apparent but I don’t let the feeling shine through anything else as I proceed to actually kiss his other cheek too, wiping the lipstick stain.

“Thanks. You’re the best.” And just like that, as though it’s no big deal, he kisses my forehead.

See, that’s the thing, it shouldn’t be a big deal! It’s never been! This is far from the first time I’ve kissed him on the cheek or the first time he’s given me a forehead kiss. These are regular occurrences after years of this lovely friendship we have. Why do they feel so different now?

Then, much to my relief, the music starts and the lights turn off leaving only one spotlight for the groom and bride to have their first dance. They look absolutely astonishing and I can certainly say I’ve never before stopped to think that about any newly weds of the weddings I’ve preciously been to. I don’t know if it has something to do with the company I have for this particular wedding or it’s maybe the fact that my mindset’s changed over the years without me realizing.

Then I automatically look at Ranboo who just so happens to be looking at me too and all I can say is: my mindset hasn’t changed.

A loud applause takes over when the couple finish their dance, officially opening the dancefloor for any other pairs who’d like to occupy it and I’m happy to see how many people are eager to rush up with their partner.

 Ranboo gets up, putting the glass down and offers me his hand, “So, wanna dance? Don’t take this as a sign to leave though, we said one dance and you CAN leave, not SHOULD.” He says, giving me a warning look.

I roll my eyes and am about to give him some sass right back but he takes my hand and picks me up from my seat, leading me to the dancefloor.  And I gotta admit maybe it’s a good thing he did. If he left it to me I would’ve probably said no to the dance and ran the hell away. Why? - Cause I’m freaking terrified of this new mindset and point of view and these intense emotions I never used to pay any mind to before in regards to my best friend.

Friends don’t feel that way about friends. Friends don’t look at friends that way. What’s happening to me?

When I gotta look him in the eyes like this, not for the first time might I add, I can finally understand how the friends-to-lovers trope works: it’s all meaningless until it starts to mean so much to you. It’s all platonic until it reminds you of a romantic movie moment. It ‘best friends’ until it’s ‘I wish we were more than that’. It’s all casual, until it’s not.

And, unfortunately, it’s irreversible.

Damn do I wish I ran away now...

[yandere-sins]

Hiii, it's my first time here !! I wonder if you could ask my question, if possible of course of Yandere Geralt of Rivia...

Imagine a scenario where the reader is from our world and went to Geralt's world, then the reader find him at him and tells his story and asks for help to return to his home... Of course, as time goes by, Geralt becomes "sick with love " for the reader to the point of becoming Yandere.

Note: the reader sees Geralt as best friend or older brother.

Thanks for your request ♥

»»———————— ♡ ————————««     

You were simply relieved you weren’t alone. 

There were a lot of terrible things that could happen to you, reaching from being mauled by a monster to cut down by a sword, and so, so many gruesome things more. Whatever Geralt saw in you, you were glad it didn’t make him leave you alone to your misery, no matter how strange you were.

Truthfully, you weren’t even a good choice as a squire, but aside from grumbling about your unhelpfulness when it came to battle, Geralt hadn’t driven you away. Despite being rough around the edges, he truly was the hero you needed in your predicament, and for that, you were thankful. 

Whatever you could do, you did, may it be fetching water or helping set up a tent. While the life of a traveling witcher was nothing you wished to pursue forever, you put up with everything you could so that you wouldn’t end up on your own again. The first week spent stumbling through the wild and running from monsters had been enough bad experience in this world for you. Now, your mind was only on one thing: Getting home.

It probably was a luxury to have Geralt’s help in not dying and achieving your goal, but all the more, you were relieved that whatever power made you fall into this strange world had enough mercy to send you this angel of a man. No matter how many dirty, uncomfortable looks you got for being with him whenever you two came into a town, you would endure them, knowing Geralt was the key to make this situation just a memory and send you back home to your family.

Home. It sounded heavenly. 

You sighed deeply, slowly awaking from your slumber. It couldn’t have been long that you fell asleep, the campfire still burning lively next to you. You still felt tired, but something was different than usual. Heavy even.

Pulling down the blanket you had wrapped yourself with, you saw the big arm laying around you, making you realized the heat of a second body in your back. Geralt never slept closer than necessary to you, but without the need to guess, he was definitely sleeping right beside you, spooning you from behind. 

With a flushing heat rising to your face, you were too embarrassed to say anything, even though his arm alone was too heavy to fall asleep with again. He might have accidentally fallen asleep next to you after having some drinks before bed and mistaken you for someone to cuddle up to. But waking him wasn’t an option. Geralt struggled with his sleep enough as it is; you wouldn’t dare to interrupt him and cause a scene. But the reality was very different from what you assumed. 

You heard him take a deep breath as he buried his face into the nape of your neck, not shy to pull away the fabric covering you and pushing his face into your skin. As you listened to him mutter your name, you felt a cold shudder run down your spine, but you tried not to make him notice you were awake. “[Name], [Name], [Name]...” he mumbled, and you bit your lip. The way he said your name always made it sound reproachful, despite you not remembering what you did wrong that day. 

“Look at you, letting your guard down. Don’t you know that I...”

His voice trailed off as you felt him shift suddenly. You reacted quickly, pretending to be fast asleep with your eyes closed and lips slightly parted innocently. Geralt let out a small chuckle before you felt him reach over you, dragging his thumb over your lip. “What are you dreaming about? Your heart is racing.”

Realizing you forgot the first thing about Witcher - their heightened senses - you didn’t know how to help yourself other than stirring a little in your sleep, putting on a frown. Sure enough, that made him halt in his tracks and back away a little, as if he feared you waking up. Only when you settled down again did Geralt relax as well, returning to his spooning position. 

“Seriously...” he kept muttering. “How am I supposed to go on like this? Every time we meet a Sorceress, I am afraid she will have a way to send you home.”

Something about his words gave you a sad impression. Almost as if parting would hurt him, but you weren’t sure if this was just your impression or if the tiny bit of his past that he told you about actually gave him this fear. In your eyes, Geralt was fearless and kept his composure no matter what, but what if you had misjudged him?

“I’d like to keep you all to myself. Lock you up and never let you go. Maybe when we get to Kaer Morhen, I could--”

This time, his voice halted suddenly, and he rose again from behind you. “Are you awake?” he asked, quiet still as if he was hoping you were asleep after all. You simply remained in your pretend sleep, taking an audible breather and hoping it would fool him. He remained in this careful stiffness for a while before he finally drew back. Immediately, you were surrounded by the chilly air of the night as his body disappeared, but before you dared to attempt to move around, you heard more of his mumbles.

“No, I can’t. I shouldn’t... It’s not right...”

What couldn’t he do?

You were ready to blame all the gibberish you had just heard on the mead you two had before bed, but the questions didn’t seem to stop circling your mind. Geralt seemed to fall asleep somewhere a bit further away, while you felt wide awake now. You couldn’t believe that Geralt - of all people! - could have developed any kind of feelings for you. But why else would he be worried about your return? Why would he say those things about locking you up?

Way too freaked out, you tried to make sense of what you had witnessed. Certainly, he didn’t want you to be awake as it went down, but now that you knew, you were left conflicted. Part of you kept getting goosebumps as you remembered the feeling of his face pressed into your shoulder and his words echoing in your ear. The other part tried to justify it with any and all reasons like the alcohol, loneliness maybe. There was no sleep for you after all, and Geralt kept stealing irritated glances at you the following day until he finally asked, “Are you okay?” 

You flinched after being suddenly addressed, not even your exhaustion able to tear you out of your thoughts that still pondered about the last night. “Oh, yeah! I’m fine,” you tried to assure him, and he contemplated your response for a bit before replying, “There’s this place we should go to next. Maybe we can find some books on portals there.”

“Sounds good,” you chuckled. Nervosity spread inside of you as you hoped he didn’t mean the place that he was talking about last night. 

“I grew up there. You might even be able to sleep in a bed for a change. Kaer Morhen is also safe and...”

After that part, your mind simply shut off as the word kept repeating over and over in your head. Kaer Morhen. Kaer Morhen. Kaer Morhen. Kaer Morhen.

Kaer Morhen, lock up, never let go.

“...and it isn’t far from here,” he finished his explanation, looking at you as he waited for an answer while you could feel the horror showing in your expression. The red flags were so abundantly clear by now, but you absolutely refused to think this way about him. He wasn’t a bad man, he would never... or?

There were a lot of terrible things that could have happened to you on this journey, but you had put all your trust into Geralt to keep you safe. To help you. To be a companion so you wouldn’t be lonely. And until the end, you hoped Geralt wouldn’t turn out to be the monster or the sword you feared so much.

But who could tell what he’d do when he finally had a taste of living out the things he desired?