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sissytobitch10seconds · 11 months ago

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The Warmth of Winter

Fandom: Grishaverse: Six of Crows Summary: They're diverse in more than their appearance and skillset. They've learned to navigate their cultures in things like pet names and high society expectations, but holidays are still an adventure in the making. Warnings: Angst and canon-typical trauma Word Count: 16,794 Ship(s): Kaz Brekker/Jesper Fahey/Nina Zenik/Inej Ghafa/Matthias Helvar/Wylan Van Eck

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A/N: So this had been something that was cooking in my head for a while but was a rushed product when I decided that I actually wanted to. I haven't edited this at all so there might be some continuity errors or typos. I tried to catch everything with a glance-through but we all know how well those work. Also! These are all based off of real songs and real traditions but have been edited so that they fit better into the Grishaverse world. I'd be very excited to talk both about the traditions that these came from and what I've created here if you want to comment or send me an ask on my tumblr! I hope that these holidays have treated everyone and that the new year brings good things. Stay sissy and bitchy everyone <3

Nina: White Winter Hymnal

Ketterdam was always dark. In some form or another, the sky was blackened with something that kept the sun from reaching even the highest of buildings. There was some amount of stormcloud that would be swirling just off the coast, threatening to come closer and douse the town entirely. The coal from the ships would smog the harbor and the chemicals from the factories would pitch the rest of the city into darkness. In the winter, the sun would disappear from behind the ever-present clouds long before it was meant to. The city would be plunged into darkness that required the illumination of fires in hearths and lamps feeding from oil and gas.

Nina often missed the ever-expanding bright blue skies of her homeland, when she was looking out of the top windows of her new home. That wasn’t to say that Ravka didn’t get storms, in the winter it was hard to see more than five feet in front of one’s face because of the intensity of the fog and wind. It was just that there was more separation between the seasons that there was here in Kerch. Back when she had been growing up, she had eagerly waited for the arrival fo the first snow that would blanket the entire land in white, and then get so sick of it that she nearly cried when the green began to peak out of the snowbeds. In Kerch, there was nothing but rain, fog, and colder months. They did get snow occasionally, but nearly as much as the mainland got because they were so very humid.

She was particularly feeling it that year, especially since she was around her partners. They reminded her so much of the friends that she had made back when she was at the Little Palace. She had never truly fit in with any of her classmates when she was in school but there was a borderline forced camaraderie between the Corporalki because they were used so frequently by the Darkling in a way that none of the other Grisha Schools could really understand. Her partners reminded her of that time in her life because they argued and bickered but at the end of the day, they all loved each other because of something that they had been through together.

Nina felt listless as she tried to lay in the bed, asleep. Her brain kept flickering with images from the missions that she had taken with Zoya and the one that had gotten her taken by the Druskelle. When she finally gave up on sleep and instead tried to meditate on some of her happier memories, all she could think of was all the Heartrenders that she had seen lost in the battle at the very end of the Civil War. It left her with a kind of pain in her chest that she would never be able to describe even if she had someone around her to try it.

She rose from her bed and grabbed the shawl that was resting on the post. She had her own room in the Van Eck estate where they had decided to bed down for the winter. They usually occupied the upper apartment level of the Silver Six since the large mansion carried a lot of pain for Wylan, but it was too drafty for the winter. They also had to show the other merchers that they would always be home and that they were upstanding even if they were a bit unconventional. The household had already had to host three different parties that were unannounced and they had only barely moved into the winter seasons.

The shawl that she had grabbed had been made for her custom by Marya. The woman had come back to herself when she finally moved back to her home, at least to some extent. Nina related to her husband’s mother because she too would become lost in the longing for something that she didn’t understand and had suffered a massive change in her body that no one else would ever really understand. Marya almost felt like the mother that she had lost when she was brought to the Little Palace.

“Get yourself together, Zenik,” she whispered as she wrapped the shawl around her shoulders. She turned towards the darkened window, trying to peak through the heavy drapes that kept out the outside lamps that illuminated the garden.

The rest of her partners had decided that they were going to go see a show earlier that evening. They had offered to have Nina come with them but her feelings of homesickness and listlessness had prevented her from feeling as though it were really an option. The only thing that she could do was let herself exist in her own mind so that she could process where her brain was and why it was behaving in the way that it was. She missed them dearly now that it was creeping closer and closer towards the early morning instead of late night.

The only good thing about them being gone was that no one was going to be able to catch her as she paced the hall to help her process. She understood that she did look a decent amount like a ghost, in nothing but a shawl that was the deepest red draped over her shoulders and a long white nightgown.

She let out a low breath as she stepped out of her room and into the main hallway. She had thought that the isolation would be good for her but she was beginning to think that it had only allowed her to stew deeper in the feelings that she was trying to process.

Slowly, Nina stepped down the hallway. The floor was the thick wood that signaled how rich the Van Eck family was instead of the tile of her home country. She passed onto the deep red rug lining the hallway and continued on her way. Memories of what had happened when they were first in that home flashed through her mind. She had been so sure that she was going to lose Matthias again, but in a way that was much more permanent than what had happened before. She wanted nothing more than to run away with all of her Crows so that they could live happy, carefree lives. She knew that they wouldn’t ever be satisfied like that, they had to be mixed up with anguish and pain so that they could truly believe and trust the happiness that they were given afterwards.

She let out a low breath as she tried to let the heavy thoughts free from her mind. It was a struggle, to try and balance the world that she had come from and the soldier’s training that she had been raised on with the life that she was leading now.

Nina pressed her hand to the door that led out to their expansive back gardens. There was a small shed where Wylan and Jesper worked on their experiments together and then a larger guest house where Marya spent most of her time painting and finally getting to live the life that she had earned. Around the buildings was a swirling path that led way past the flowers and bushes, all of which had gone dormant because of the cold weather. There were a couple of winter crocuses that Matthias had planted when he had heard that they were Nina’s favorite, but they weren’t doing too well with the moderate temperatures of Kerch instead of the freezing winters in Ravka.

She stepped out of the house and down onto the steps that led out into the garden. She really should have put shoes or socks on if she was going to go outside, but she hadn’t realized what was what she was going to do when she started it. Her breath emerged from her mouth in plumes of white steam, the warmth immediately contrasting with the temperature around her body. She began to shiver ever so slightly as she walked further down into the garden.

She and her partners had so many memories tied into that place. It was where she had said goodbye to her mentors and friends for what felt like the last time, where she had almost watched Matthias die again and again while they were waiting for Genya to heal him, and where Kaz had proposed to them all. One day, the garden may be the place where their children took their first steps or where Matthias bonded with another dog.

For now, it was the place that was embracing her sadness and echoing the emotion that was emitting from her heart throughout her body. She walked until she got to the bench halfway through the rose bushes, where she sat down so that she could admire what she could see of the night sky. Like always, there were dark black clouds that hung low over the stars and moon so that the only thing that could be made out was the briefest twinkling.

Nina hadn’t longed that badly for her home in a very, very long time. She had hated it at the Little Palace but she still wanted to go back to the familiar safety of it. Tears welled up along her lashes as she finally let the sadness and sickness for her old home bubble out of her. She tilted her head down and then up before she realized that thick white flakes of snow were drifting down from the sky.

She was shivering with no way to stop it because she had lost that power long ago, but she wasn’t about to go inside. The snow might not even stick to the semi-frozen ground and it would be melted within a couple days. She so rarely got to experience it when she missed it so much that she was going to stay out as long as she could.

Minutes ticked slowly by as the snow accumulated on the ground. It stuck to the leaves and sticks of the plants around him, glistening with the joy she hadn’t had in so long. It turned the entire world around her into a dream that had been pulled straight from her past. Even though some of it was already melting back into the earth, there was enough shining silver on the path around her that it brought back a whorl of memories.

She remembered the first time that she remembered it seeing it show when she was a child. She had just moved from her home with her parents to the orphanage that she would spend the rest of her days in until she was tested and found to be a Grisha. She had lived too close to the coast for any kind of lasting snow, especially with how far south they were. When she was in the orphanage, she often had trouble sleeping because it was so cold. She had crawled onto the beds of one of the other girls, one who had taken care of her until the draft had taken her away. She had been held, like she always was when she sought out the body heat of another. While she waiting to fall asleep, she had stared out of the window at the first couple falling flakes of snow as they steadily made their way down to the earth.

The snow was so different then. It had changed when she had been moved to Os Alta. She couldn’t find comfort from any of the other students, locked away in her own tiny dormitory room. She had dreamed of the big, comfortable suites that the Grisha got when they were moved to the little palace. Her room while she was a student had been big enough for her to lay down between her desk and single bed. There was a communal bathroom down the hall from that. What Nina lived in now was similar to that, each of them having their own room and then a bathroom that they shared if they didn’t count the master suite that they occupied when they didn’t need time alone.

Her life that she cherished and loved so dearly was very similar to the one that she had come from and yet still so different. She had been miserable when she was at the Little Palace, even if she didn’t realize it at the time, and yet she still missed it.

The words found her lips before she could think about what she was doing.

I was following the

She tapped out the repeated part of the song on her leg so that she didn’t go over or under. It had always been the hardest part for her to sing and now that the others weren’t there to correct her, she had to make sure that she did it correctly.

I was following the pack, all swaddled in their coats

With scarves of red tied 'round their throats

To keep their little heads from falling in the snow

And I turned 'round and there you go

And Mikhael, you would fall and turn the white snow

Red as strawberries in the summertime

Briefly, she became aware of the presence of her partners in the distance. She knew that she had been pushing it by staying outside as long as they had. They would be home late from their show and they would definitely check on someone if they heard someone out in the snow, it was what they did. She knew that they were clustered together by the door as they watched her but she couldn’t make herself turn so that she could see them properly. It hurt too much, her heart ached something heavy and fierce in her chest.

I was following the pack, all swaddled in their coats

With scarves of red tied 'round their throats

To keep their little heads from falling in the snow

And I turned 'round and there you go

And Mikhael, you would fall and turn the white snow

Red as strawberries in the summertime

Tears sprang to her eyes as she remembered the first time that she had sung the song. The students wore gray uniforms that were all the same with little pieces of the color from their order. When they graduated, they would be gifted with a kefta to show that they had gone far and worked hard to become a fully fledged Grisha. That meant that in the winter, they wore big gray coats with red scars. The Corporalki color was of course red, which meant that they stood out against the snow like cardinals against a cloud.

Fedyor had been quite a bit older than her, he was close to graduating when she was only barely taken away from her orphanage to train. She had been absolutely enamored with him and he had become something of an older brother to her. Nina always demanded that she be at the front of the line so that she could hold his hand when they went out to the training grounds. They were all so young that they were kept chained together using their scarves, just to make sure that no one would get lost.

I was following the pack, all swaddled in their coats

With scarves of red tied 'round their throats

To keep their little heads from falling in the snow

And I turned 'round and there you go

And Mikhael, you would fall and turn the white snow

Red as strawberries in summertime

The last couple of words drifted from her lips and into the bitter air around her. She felt a warm hand settle down on her shoulder and tilted her head up so that she could see who it was. As soon as Matthias’ bright blue eyes clocked into her brain, she burst into massive, shaking sobs. He didn’t even blink as he leaned down and picked her up so that she was cradled against his massive, solid chest. She wrapped her shawl tighter around her shoulders as she shivered against the cold now stinging her cheeks.

Her partners quickly tailed after Matthias once he had broken through them to get her into the warmth of their home. Nina was barely aware of what was happening as he brought her through the halls to the master bedroom. Everyone got ready for bed as quickly as they could and then clambered under the quilts next to her, adding to the heat from the fire crackling merrily in the hearth.

“Are you okay?” Wylan asked as he reached out to touch her hand.

She shook her head. “That… that song was always meant as a warning for us. It meant that if we went too far away from the group then the Shu or the Fjerdans would get us and kill us. We didn’t know how true that was until we were older and we were actually being sent out on missions. We used to sing it while we were working with each other or when we were playing in the snow. It was something that every young Corporalnik knew, it was something that fundamentally shaped out childhoods…”

“Not everything that we get taught as children is a good thing,” Kaz supplied with a half shrug.

“I know,” she wept. She stared down at her hands as she tried to stop the tears, but it was a futile effort from the beginning. “I saw so many of my friends die. Even Fedyor… he’s gone. Did you know that we were both considered the Darklings Heartrenders before he even got Ivan? It was because I was basically Fedyor’s little sister, so I got everything that he got. It was the only time I truly felt wanted as a child.”

“I never knew that you felt that way,” Matthias whispered. “I thought that you enjoyed your time at the Little Palace.”

Nina sighed. She had known that it was coming but it was still going to be hard to explain. “I did and I didn’t. It was all so complicated given the politics between the Grisha schools and where we had all come from. The Darkling wanted to make sure that we were divided and isolated enough that he could continue to control us without anyone noticing. But at the same time, those classes were full of people that could have been my family if I had stayed with them longer. Zoya and Genya were my best friends, my mentors. I miss them so much this time of year, especially when I think about being a kid.”

“I understand,” Inej whispered. She leaned over and placed a kiss on her wife’s head. Nina sniffled and smiled as she leaned into the touch. Soon, there was a handkerchief to clean her face and hands to pull her down into the warm safety of her bed. The thoughts, feelings, and memories were still buzzing around her head but they were all so much easier to deal with when they were around her.

---

Wylan: I Saw Three Ships

The parties were probably his least favorite part of the job that he found himself doing. His partners had expected it to be the reading and interacting with the other Merchers. He was a lot softer and more forward-thinking than them, partially because of Marya’s influence and partially because of his real gasp on the Barrel. He didn’t know it as well as his spouses did, but his brief time there had helped him know more than his coworkers.

He could deal with them when he was at meetings, it was easier than he had first thought that it was going to be. The only thing that he had to do was make sure that he held his tongue when he was already speaking in terms that no human used outside of an office or boardroom. He never had to talk or mingle with them until it came to the winter months.

It was as if the change of the seasons was determined to make Wylan’s life as hard as possible. The temperature didn’t change as much in Kerch as it did in places like Ravka, especially when they were living as close to the coast as they were in Ketterdam. The shift made all the old wounds that they had long since recovered from back in their criminal days ache like they were new. They all got crosser with each other because of the pain, which resulted in far more tears and reunions between the partners as they apologized for what they had done.

On top of the pain that he had endure and watch his partners fight with, the lack of light from the outside world made it even harder to work. He had to struggle to make out poorly written numbers on the same amount of ledgers in oil light instead of holding them up to the window. Jesper also got more restless in the winter which meant that he had to outsource his reading to some of his other partners. That was normally fine except for the fact that Inej still struggled to read in Kerch, Nina’s voice almost always lulled him to sleep, and Kaz would make snide comments around the very important documents that Wylan was working with.

The thing that he hated most of all about the winter, outside of the dim colors and drab gray days, was the socialization that he was expected to do. He had a half thought theory that he hated the people he worked with because he had never really been socialized around Merchers when it mattered, his father had stopped taking him places when he was eight after all. Regardless of what the reason was, he knew that he hated having to attend all of the balls and parties that the other Merchant families were holding. The problem was that if he wanted their votes on the reforms that he was working to get into place, then he had to play nice with them. As much as he detested it, Kerch law was mostly based off the person that had the most social rankings.

Having his partners by his side made it so much more enjoyable. Inej was always grounded and working in the city during the winter months because her crew wanted to be with their families and the waters got dangerous. That meant that she was around their estate a lot more, which was a relief when Wylan needed someone to complain at that would offer reasonable advice on what to do.

He also brought some of his partners along with him when he attended the parties. Nina was trained on Kerch dances for the missions she used to do with the Second Army, so she came with him to balls. He loved getting to see the other Merchant men gawk over her low necklines and swooping gowns, the regal form that she carried even though her station had never been anywhere near royal. Matthias was big and bulky but also kind so he came when Wylan thought that he was going to end up murdering one of the wives of his coworkers. Kaz and Inej were both banned from coming to the parties because they always turned it into work which had gotten close to ruining their overarching plans one too many times for Wylan to feel comfortable. Jesper came when Wylan needed to bring his husband, and it was always more fun to have the questions floating around about who Wylan was actually married to.

The last party of the year was happening that night, but he was preparing with all of his partners instead of just some of them so he was happy about it to some extent. He had been through a grueling holiday season so he had decided that his entire household could accompany him to the last one, even Kaz and Inej. They had both promised him that they would be on their best behavior and he knew that he was stressed out enough that they would actually mean it.

They had just finished getting ready, which they had started an hour early because everyone always ended up taking far longer than they meant to. It was easy to get distracted when the task at hand was doing one’s hair or putting on clothing, especially when surrounded by the people that they all loved so dearly.

Nina and Inej were wearing gowns in the same matching blue color, a deep sea-reminiscent color that was perfect for the theme of the party that they were doing to. Inej’s dress was form fitting to her body since she had gotten so used to that when she was skittering around the rooftops of Ketterdam. It clung to her neck in a high collar that was pinned with the Van Eck family crest so that it was clear who she had come with. The sleeves were long and came to a point towards her middle finger, which had been painted the same color blue instead of black as the rest of her fingers were. The skirt billowed out from her waist with intricately made fabric that shifted color to green and red when she moved. Inej had her hair braided so that it formed a crown around her head, something that was specifically Suli instead of Kerch.

Nina’s dress had a low swooping neckline and sleeves that came over her shoulders in sheer fabric that came to a point on her bodice. Her skirt was pleated and come out in an even bigger circle than Inej’s, as almost all of her gowns had. Her hair was braided with two thin braids behind her ears and the rest of her curls hanging loose around her neck. She had the necklace that Wylan had given her, once again holding the Van Eck ruby in the center over her heart.

Kaz was dressed the same as he always was. The suit was pressed into thin lines and very dignified, which was accentuated by the way that he held himself. Wylan noticed, with barely restrained glee, that he actually had the tie pin pressed into place in the prominent place so people would know their connection. They were technically supposed to be separate from each other because of their occupations, but if anyone asked Wylan would simply tell them that Dirtyhands had stolen it from Jesper.

The aforementioned Zemini was wearing something that was a mix between the Barrel flash that he had been so fond of when they had first met and what he had to wear when he accompanied Wylan to meetings. His undershirt was a lovely yellow color that was complimented by the deep blue of his vest and the pleated skirt that swished lovely around his waist. He had a suit jacket that went with it, but it was draped over his arm because he was so excited that he was overheated. His hair had recently been done in the traditional braids that the Zemini wore when they were in the cities, something that he said he had always wanted but never had been able to get.

Matthias had expected to be dressed in the black Mercher suits that Kaz and Wylan wore, but Nina immediately informed him that she would never see him wearing something that predominantly black ever again in her life. She had worked with a tailor that Kaz had vetted so that she could dress him in the same colors as herself and Inej. It was still the basic suit so that he wouldn’t bring that much attention to himself, which was a good thing based on how many heads he turned with his massive size alone. He looked handsome and borderline regal in it, even if he was slightly awkward and how he was supposed to move in something that was so foreign compared to what he used to wear.

As soon as they were all dressed and ready, the piled into the coach that Wylan had paid to have pick them up. It was unlikely that they were going to stay at the party long enough to require their own coachmen come in from the break that they had given him. They were also all more than okay with walking, even Kaz with his unbearable pain in the winter preferred moving on foot to being trapped in a box pulled by horses. They still had to arrive in style even if they were going to slip out through a side door and then disappear into the night so that they could enjoy each other’s company when they got the first chance.

The ride was pleasant given the company that he was keeping. He had struggled a couple of times in his marriage with his partners, but he adored them with his entire heart so he knew that they would always make it work. He didn’t even have to worry about that now because they were all excited to be stared and gawked at by the upper class that couldn’t comprehend a relationship such as theirs existing near their homes.

The carriage arrived and they were introduced to the man holding the party, which went very quickly. Wylan made sure to introduce every single one of his partners, even Kaz and Inej, before they drifted into the party. They could already hear the whispers following after them, wondering why a member of the Merchant Council was consorting with such devious Barrel scum such as the King Bastard. Wylan was reveling in it. Chaos was the thing that he needed to brighten up the winter season.

Soon, they divided so that they could enjoy other parts of the party. Nina and Inej danced with each other, ignoring the men that tried to shark them or ask them for the next. Matthias and Jesper were flirting with each other in the corner. Kaz and Wylan were pretending to have a very serious conversation with the son of a wealthy brothel owner, though he didn’t have a single clue what they were really saying to him.

As the night continued, they changed and shifted their groups. Inej and Kaz stepped out onto the balcony when they got overwhelmed. Jesper and Wylan had to actually socialize with a few people that knew them so that they could keep their reputation about them, though it was over quickly. Matthias and Nina were whispering about all of the foods that they were having, looking besotted and excited with each other and the new experience.

The night as beginning to crawl to an end by the time that Wylan managed to get all of his partners back in one place. He had expected them to leave far earlier in the evening, not to stay until the party was almost finished. He supposed that they all needed to have a bit of fun and be out of their own home. The winter made them feel cramped, especially since Matthias, Nina, and Inej traveled the most out of the six of them.

They were gathered in one of the lower rooms that was open to guests so that they had some time to themselves. Jesper was spread out on one of the couches with his head pillowed on Nina’s legs and his knees draped over Matthias’ thighs. Inej was perched on the back of a chair with her shoes discarded down on the floor. Kaz was sitting in another chair, his cane in front of him clasped in both of his gloved hands. Wylan himself had seated himself on the ground in front of the hearth.

Silence slipped around the room as they naturally came to a lull in the conversation, tired and worn out from the party that they had just endured. A small smile began to grace Wylan’s face as he heard the familiar notes of a song that he had sung every single Ghezen’s Day for as long as he could remember. The lyrics began to float from his lips before he even realized he could recall it well enough to sing it himself,

I saw three ships come sailing in

On Ghezen’s Day, on Ghezen’s Day

I saw three ships come sailing in

On Ghezen’s Day in the morning

And all the bells on Kerch shall ring

On Ghezen’s Day, on Ghezen’s Day

And all the bells on Kerch shall ring

On Ghezen’s Day in the morning

A smile split across his face as he realized that another voice had joined him. He turned his head to the side and saw that his husband, his wonderful husband that was so different from him and yet his mirror of another life, had his head bowed down slightly as he sang. He started the next verse with a grin stretched so far across his face that his cheeks ached with the force of it.

Let us all rejoice again

On Ghezen’s Day, on Ghezen’s Day

Let us all rejoice again

On Ghezen’s Day in the morning

I saw three ships come sailing in

On Ghezen’s Day, on Ghezen’s Day

I saw three ships come sailing in

On Ghezen’s Day in the morning

“I didn’t know that you actually knew that song, Kaz,” Wylan beamed. He wasn’t able to ignore the butterflies that moved throughout his body as he realized that everyone was looking between the two of them. It was unlikely that even in the time that they had been in the Barrel and living at his estate, anyone other than Kaz was aware of that song and it’s importance to the non-criminal Kerch people.

Kaz scoffed and shifted the hold that he had on his cane, “Of course I know that song. Anyone that doesn’t never had a proper Ghezen’s Day.”

“What is Ghezen’s Day, exactly?” Matthias asked, his eyes flickering low between all of them.

“Love, you’ve been living here for how many years and you still don’t know what that is?” Nina laughed.

Wylan tilted his head towards his wife, “Nina, do you know what Ghezen’s Day actually is?”

Her lovely rouge-smudged cheeks turned a shade of scarlet that he adored. It was hard to make Nina Zenik blush, but all five people in the entire world that could do it were sitting around her. “Well, I suppose I don’t know the more Ketterdam-specific traditions but I do know what it’s about.”

“Do enlighten us, then, my dear,” Kaz said. There was a knowing smirk growing across his face that gave Wylan another rush of excited adrenaline and love for the people he was surrounded by.

She pursed her lips, obviously able to tell exactly what their husband was up to. “I know that Ghezen’s Day is a celebration of Ghezen and a mark of the new year.”

“I thought that the new year started with the break of spring,” Jesper protested, Inej nodding alongside him.

To save Nina from having to wrack her mind that hard when she was already so tipsy with champagne, Wylan jumped in to explain, “For a farming culture and a traveling culture, it does. For the Kerch, the end of the new year is when a financial book would be closed after a good year. There’s actually a tradition among some smaller families with kids that have started their own careers to come and show their parents what they’ve done. The most common gift on Ghezen’s Day is either a roter umschlag, which are given to children and generally have up to a hundred kruge in them, or a new ledger.”

“Outside of the city and the Merchant Council, Ghezen’s Day is celebrated as the found of the country. The three ships mentioned in the song were the founders of the three largest cities in Kerch. They founded Ketterdam first,” Kaz looked almost like he was taking a personal pride in that matter. Wylan couldn’t help but giggle.

Inej spent the rest of the trip back home complaining about how the Kerch could only focus on their money and had nothing else in their culture. Matthias kept asking questions about the end of the year, accompanied by Jesper giving unhelpful answers that he thought were correct. Nina had more in-depth questions to ask about the traditions and why so many parties were held if it was near the end of the books in a good year. Wylan explained that it was actually a sign of someone needing to fill the back couple of pages so that they would be blessed with good luck in the next year. Overall, he was happy that he had brought his partners with him even if he wished that he could just stay home with them next year.

---

Kaz: A Soalin’

The fire crackled merrily in the hearth that they had gathered in front of. Ghezen’s Day had passed a few days prior, which meant that people were still spending time with their family or at church. Wylan had made his appearance at the midnight and morning mass as he was expected to as a devout member of the Merchant Council. Now they were all free to do as they wished the rest of the evening.

A lot of the time that meant that they would be getting up to no good, but they were so tired from having to run around for Inej’s newest plan and Wylan’s parties that the only thing that they wanted to do was relax. Kaz was having a wonderful day, which meant that he could actually touch his partners.

They had spread out one of the massive, fluffy quilts that Jesper had made the last time he had gone back to Novyi Zem on the ground to cushion them. They had made a nest out of the remaining pillows and blankets that they had dragged out from every bedroom that they could find. They had shifted the rest of the furniture around to create pseudo walls, though every so often someone would try to lean on the table and then shout when it moved behind their backs.

Inej was laying on the couch with her fingers weaving through Jesper’s tight braids to soothe herself. She had had a nightmare the night before so wasn’t feeling well enough to have full body contact with the rest of them. Matthias was wrapped around Wylan like they were both going to die unless every part of them that could be was touching the other. Nina was the one that was laying behind Kaz, her talented hands tracing shapes on the top of his hip while she engaged in a meaningless conversation with Jesper.

The night was calm and lovely until they heard a knock at the front door. Jesper startled and then reached down to his bare hips for his revolvers, only to remember that he was in his own home and was no longer in such high amounts of danger that he had to pack a gun with him everywhere he went. “Now who could that be? We shouldn’t be getting any visitors and the staff already went home,” Wylan complained. He unwound himself from Matthias and then climbed over the back of a chair so that he was down on the ground.

The rest of the polycule began to ready themselves to answer the door as well. Despite their years of caution while they tried to adjust to the new life that they had found themselves in, they were all inherently nosey and wanted to know what was going on. They brushed each other’s hair down, tucked shirts back where they belonged, and tugged pants up properly onto hips. Kaz began the slow process of getting to the edge of the blanket where he had left his cane so that he could come with them.

They were already gone by the time that he had raised himself into the chair and then to his feet. He hated the winter months because of how sluggish they made him, how the ache in his knee became ever present instead of something that he could push back and ignore. It made him feel like he was falling behind the others when he was supposed to be their leader.

He shook his head and reminded himself that those days were long behind them. He was still the mastermind, the one who came up with the schemes and got them out of a tight pinch when they fell into one. He was no longer the leader, no longer the one that gave orders that he expected to be respected. They were his equal and he was their husband.

Slowly, he limped down the hall so that he could meet the rest of his partners at the door. He stopped as soon as he heard the low notes ringing through the hallway. It was a clear night with no wind so that noise was able to travel long and hollow through the domed rooves of the Van Eck hall.

Hey ho, nobody home,

Meat nor drink nor money have I none,

And yet shall we be merry,

Hey ho, nobody home,

A soal, a soal, a soal cake,

Please good missus a soal cake,

An apple, a pear, a plum, a cherry,

Any good thing to make us all merry,

One for Petyr, two for Paul, three for he who bless us all,

A chuckle left his lips and a smirk crossed his face. He knew exactly what they were doing, but they were unaware of the trap that they had just fallen into. He turned and walked down towards the dining room. It was dark because they had taken their meal while they were cooking it in the kitchen. The staff had been sent home a week ago, though they still had a maid that came and helped with the vast amount of cleaning that a place like the estate took. It was harder to keep all of the rooms as warm as they needed to be for a human to occupy them when it was only six criminals and an elderly Kerch woman who kept to her suite.

He knew that he would have gone for the dining room if he was still young enough to be pulling a stunt like these kids were. He didn’t even have to see them to know what they looked like because he could already see them in his mind’s eye. They were dirty and run down, with clothing that was threadbare and in no way suited for the weather that they were having. Yet, despite their dirty appearance, their eyes would hold a sharpness and resilience to them that never should have had to form itself there.

Ghezen bless the master of this house and the mistress also,

And all the little children that round your table grow,

The horses in your stables, the dogs by your front door,

And all that dwell within your gates, we wish you ten times more,

Go down into the cellar and see what you can find,

If the Barrel is not empty, we hope you will be kind,

We hope you will be kind with your apple and strawber’,

For we’ll come no more a soalin’ til this time next year,

A soal, a soal, a soal cake,

Please good missus a soal cake,

An apple, a pear, a plum, a cherry,

Any good thing to make us all merry,

One for Petyr, two for Paul, three for he who bless us all,

Kaz pressed his hand to the door before he decided that he wanted to listen first. He slipped closer to the crack that he had made by turning the handle and then listened. He heard the window open with a creak, which meant that the crew breaking in was new. He would have always tested the hinges on the window to make sure that nothing would creak before he began to pick the lock. It was the one thing that had prevented him from being caught more times than he could count.

Feet hit the ground with a soft thud and then began to step forward. He took that moment to make his grand entrance, swinging the door open and stepping inside of the dining room. “I would have sent more carolers if you wanted me to be fooled. Also, that’s the wrong song to pick if you’re going after this house.”

“It’s tradition,” the boy sputtered. His hair was a dirty blond that was caked with mud on the side, like he had slept while half embedded in someone’s back garden. He had just about everything that Kaz had added to the list in his head, down to the shoes that were coming apart at the seams and half scarf wrapped around his neck.

“I know it is. Would you like to know how I know?”

“Is this going to be that kind of thing where it turns out that you’re just teasing me before you kill me?” the boy asked.

The streets are very dirty, my shoes are very thin,

I have a little pocket to put a kruge in,

If you haven’t got a kruge, a ha’kruge will do,

If you haven’t got a ha’kruge, then Ghezen bless you,

Hey ho, nobody home,

Meat nor drink nor money have I none,

And yet shall we be merry,

Hey ho, nobody home,

Kaz threw his head back and laughed. The carol had already stopped on their door down the hall, so he motioned for the boy to follow him using the end of his cane. The boy obviously knew that he was dealing with someone dangerous and made the smart move to do as he was asked. It was unlikely that Kaz would have hurt him if he had run, he would have just scared the boy silly by sending a member of the Dregs after him. There was no way that he was going to let a roving gang of children so similar to him continue to wander the streets when he could give them purpose.

He led the boy down the hallway towards the door, where the rest of the gang had just finished singing the song. Their eyes bulged out of their heads as they no doubt recognized Kaz and realized that he had caught the tail that they had sent for this house. “I was rather excited to finally get to hear that song again, I just wish that you had been a bit more subtle when you were picking your tricks. Don’t you know that the best way to do this is to make sure that you know your audience?” he asked.

“M-Mister Brekker,” the leader of the gang outside of the door said. He took a step forward with his hand outstretched towards the friend that had gotten lost inside of the house. The panic was evident on his face, which made Kaz chuckle. He liked being feared, even if he was going to provide for the boys that way that Haskel had provided for him.

“Sorry guys,” the boy next to Kaz winced.

He had known how the kids were going to react, but his partners were still a question up in the air. He almost let out a breath of relief when he saw that they just looked confused and slightly startled about what was happening. Nina placed her hands on her hips, her shawl slipping slightly so that more of her beautiful blue nightie was revealed to the outside world. “Love, what’s going on?” she nearly demanded.

Kaz stepped forward with his gloved hand on the boy’s shoulder to shove him back with the rest of his gang. He looked over the faces of the young children in front of him so that they were seared into his mind. He knew how many there were and what they looked like, which meant that they wouldn’t be able to run or hide from him now. “I want you all to meet me in the Silver Six next Monday.”

“Of course, sir,” the leader said.

At the same time, the boy that Kaz had just reunited with his friends asked, “Are you really letting us go?”

“Don’t fucking ask that, Willem,” the leader snarled as he grabbed his friend’s hand and then they began to run down the path. Several of the other boys were scooping up the bags that had been left in the bushed near the gates, which clanked and groaned with the stolen goods that they had gotten from the other houses on the Geldstraat.

The door shut and soon they were left alone again. “What is going on, Kaz?” Nina demanded again.

“I will explain to you as soon as we are back where we belong. Jesper, would you be a dear and go relock the window in the dining room?” he asked.

That alone made his partners share a confused look with each other but none of them said anything. They all filed back to the living room and sat back down in the warm nest that they had made for themselves. Kaz demanded that Matthias lean back against the couch and then made himself at home in between his husband’s knees so that he was laying against the other man’s broad chest. It eased the ache from his knee up to his hip to have it stretched out and warm.

“So what’s going on?” Inej asked as she perched herself carefully down next to Wylan, her back and long braid facing toward the fire.

“What those kids just did is something that I did often as a child. When I was left on my own on the streets at ten, I was picked up by a bunch of other children. The first couple hazed me until I learned to hold my own, and then they brought me in and began to teach me some of their tricks. One of them was to make yourself look as miserable and downtrodden as possible before you go sing that song to houses such as this,” Kaz began to explain.

“Seeing as everything in your childhood was miserable, I assume that there’s a catch of some kind,” Nina said. There was no malice to her voice because what she spoke was fact. Kaz’s life had been nothing but misery and pain until he met the people that were surrounded by him, even those few happy moments when he and Jordie had thought that they were going to get a good life were tainted by Pekka Rollins.

“The trick was that we would send a different person to the back of the house every time. They would break in, as a way to prove themselves, and then steal everything that they could. They would sneak it out while the rest of the group maybe got to enjoy coffee or coco,” he shrugged. “I think that most of the kids wanted to be warm and fed something sweet because of the kindness of the Merchant Wives, if I’m being honest.” He had always enjoyed the part where he was invited into the home far more than he did his turn to break in. It was nice to feel, even just for a moment, like he was wanted and cherished instead of something that had been discarded unwillingly into the streets.

“So are you going to give them a job?” Matthias asked. Kaz gave him a look and he only chuckled, the sound bouncing him around so that he gave an unhappy noise. “I say that only because you told them to meet you in your office. I think that you are not as unsentimental as you position yourself to be.”

“I suppose I’m not,” he huffed. He hated to admit it, but he knew that he was safe to be vulnerable around these people. They loved him and he loved them more than anything in the entire world. He was glad that he had finally gotten what he had spent so many years caroling to try and just get a taste of.

---

Matthias: Santa Lucia

He thought that he had left his awkward worrying behind when he had finally agreed to marry his partners. Somehow, despite the fact that he had been raised to court his potential marital partner for almost years and then ask a parent’s permission before he even thought about proposing, his marriage happened not long after he met the others. They had returned back to Kerch to help Inej bring down the Menagerie and the Sweet Shop after her first voyage. They were very close to getting caught by the Stadwatch again, so they had to make their aliases be married.

Matthias found then he actually adored the idea of being married to the people that he had fallen in love with and then had proposed to them later the same night after they had finished their plot. They had all agreed with a couple of silly caveats to the marriage, which had made it feel all the more like them. Nina and Matthias were the only ones that were legally married, of course, but they were all married under the eyes of their deities and each other which as the important thing.

Being married to the others had made him feel a lot more confident in asking for what he needed. He was able to experiment with the things that he wanted to experience and how he wanted to present himself. The only thing that he got in return was light teasing, enough to break tension without letting him get worried about what was happening. He had learned how to look into himself and figure out what was actually going on without shame.

He had asked his partners for things that were debauched, that would have made him think that he was unholy had he still been with the Druskelle. He had asked his partners for things that had gotten turned down in the past as well because they weren’t comfortable doing that with him. Everything had been recovered from and turned out alright in the end, which was making it all the more confusing as to why he was feeling so nervous.

Matthias wrung his hands in front of him as he stood at the top of the stairs that led up to the master bedroom where his spouses were gathered. He knew that he could do this, all he had to do was ask and they would agree. This was something that he couldn’t put off for another year, not when it represented twenty years since he had lost his first family in that fire. This holiday was too important to himself and his culture for him to do it on his own.

He took the first step up the stairs and then immediately felt lighter. It was as if his partners were calling out to him, drawing him closer to where they were hidden from the harsh winter winds with the promise of something loving and soft. He was able to take the next several stairs in stride until he reached the landing that led up to the master bedroom that he shared with his partners.

He only paused when he got to the doorway that led into their bedroom so that he could take in the appearance of his partners. It was getting towards mid morning and only a couple of them had risen properly from their sleep, about half of his partners were still dressed in their nightclothes while wound up in the nest of blankets on top of their mattress. Nina was splayed out in the center of the bed with her brown ringlets haloing her head so that she looked like an old saint in one of Inej’s ancient tomes. Jesper was next to her, his gray eyes still closed in mock sleep even if he was fidgeting more than he did when he was actually resting. Wylan was on his stomach on the other side of Nina, his head tilted towards Inej as her delicate fingers wove their way through his curly brown-red hair. Kaz was sitting at the end of the bed while massaging the muscles on the underside of his knee so that he could have some reprieve from the near-constant pain he got in the winter.

They looked so wonderfull domestic that Matthias felt his heart hammer loudly in his chest. He loved these people more than he knew that it was capable to love someone.

“Matty, are you going to come and join us or are you just going to stand there?” Jesper mumblned, proving that he hadn’t actually fallen asleep. Matthias let out a rumbling chuckle and then pushed himself off of the door so that he could slip onto the bottom of the bed beside Kaz.

“What’s going on, love?” Inej asked. She pushed herself up on one arm and then tilted her head to the side so that some of her longer flyaways fell down into her face.

“Why do you think that something is wrong?” he asked, once again nervous.

“You’re practically bursting with something. You wear your emotions on your face, which was why you had to be angry all the time before you realized that you could be a person too,” Kaz rasped. “Now tell us what’s wrong so that we can fix it.”

“I want to celebrate the Day of the Disir,” he blurted out all at once.

Nina was the only one that showed any kind of recognition about what he was talking about. He knew that she had studied his home country within an inch of its life, so she would likely know the overarching meaning of the holiday and the way that it was typically celebrated. She shifted so that Jesper was laying flat on the bed, no longer pillowed by her chest, and reached out for Matthias. “Do you feel comfortable celebrating without a Gothi?”

He thought about it for a minute, his mouth twisted. “I think that my mother and sister would understand if it was just me asking them to come and watch over our home instead of someone formally calling them to do so,” he answered. He had contemplated it for a long time before he had come to ask because it would be the first time that he was celebrating that holiday since he lost his family. They weren’t permitted to really celebrate anything other than Hringkalla when they training to be Druskelle because it was believed that it would result in them being too distracted.

“What’s going on?” Wylan asked, confused and worried about what was happening as he sat up.

Nina looked at Matthias to get permission to explain before he nodded his consent. She then turned back to their partners and said, “The Day of the Disir is a holiday celebrated by the Fjerdans where they ask the spirits of the female members of their family to come and watch over their home on the darkest day. It’s usually celebrated by lighting candles for them.”

“There is a member of my family, someone from my village, that we also sing to when the night falls,” he choked up when he began to explain it. He had gone over his plan again and again, trying to map out the exact right words in Kerch so that he could get the message of utter comfort and wonder that she had brought him when he was a child. “Her name was Lucia, and she is now a saint. But we use a different word for it, so she’s Santa Lucia.”

“What did she do to earn Sainthood?” Inej asked. She was being careful with her tone, making sure that it was even and kind as she spoke. Even though Nina was the one that had done all the research on his country and culture, she was the one that understood his spirituality best. He was glad that he had a spouse that was as devoted to her deities as he was.

Matthias was glad that she had asked that, because it had given him a chance to explain it without having to just dump all that information onto his partners basically unprompted. “She was the mother to four boys and the wife to a very strong warrior. The father would take the boys out every night so that he could train them how to be as strong as him, so that they could one day provide for their wives as he did. Every night, Santa Lucia would place a lit candle in the window so that they would be able to find their way back even in the darkest of the winter nights. The men that she cared for did not know that was how they always found their way back home so they left one night when she was so sick that she was bedridden. She begged them not to, because she knew that they would not be able to find their way back. She was only able to raise from her bed and light the candle on the Solstice, the darkest and longest night of the entire year.”

“So the candles are lit to lead the female ancestors back home so that they can continue to protect the house,” Nina finished. “I remember reading that in a book somewhere but it was such a small footnote that I didn’t mention it in the bigger explanation. I didn’t know that was where your village was located, Matthias.”

He nodded, ducking his head shyly when he realized just how much attention was on him alone. “I was wondering if you would all be willing to celebrate it with me. I know that we have already celebrated Mother Night for Nina and Ghezen’s Day for Kaz and Wylan…” he trailed off. He was worried that by introducing the Day of the Disir into their rotation that someone was going to feel like he was trying to overshadow them or try to push them to the side.

His worries were almost immediately squashed as Wylan and Jesper gave a cheer of affirmation. “I would love to,” Inej beamed, Nina and Kaz nodding alongside her.

It was already mid-morning when he got the courage to ask them, so they had to jump immediately into doing the traditions so that he could get through them all. They sent the kitchen staff home on an early day and then spent two hours making baked goods such as cookies and the flaky pastries his mother had said that his grandmother always loved. While they cooked, he taught his partners the songs he had sung as a child when he was running underfoot of the adults.

They had a light lunch and continued to work with each other. The house was decorated with a mix of Kerch and Ravkan winter holiday decoration, so Matthias added a couple of his own so that they would sit alongside the ones that his partners had already provided. He left a silver ribbon tied into a pretty bow on the mantle for his sister, an apron embroidered with wolves and holly leaves for his mother, and a beautiful glass full of mead for the other women who may come and visit them that night.

The rest of the day was full of laughing, talking, and no sorrow. He knew that meant that the disir were actually visiting them, or at least that was what his mother had always told him. The sun set a lot further into the afternoon when he was as far down as Kerch was, but it was still around the late afternoon by the time that darkness consumed the island.

Matthias was the most nervous about that part of the celebration, but a simple squeeze of Nina’s hand reminded him that he was safe with his spouses. He had gotten a package of straight white candles from the market before the winter had begun so that they were cheaper, so he had to dig the out of the back of his closet when the time came for them to light them. He gave each of his partners a candle and then set one down in the window.

He took a slow, deep breath to reassure himself that it was going to be alright. Next year would be easier, which the guidance of Djel and the disir to help him through it. They would all know what he expected from his holiday the second time that they were celebrating compared to what they were doing that year. Everything was going to be alright.

He stepped closer to the massive window in the front room and then lit the candle to place in the window. He began to sing the traditional song, the only one that really mattered throughout the entire holiday, as he made the run mark in the light of the window using the candle’s flame.

Night walks with a heavy step

Round yard and hearth,

As the sun departs from earth,

Shadows are brooding.

There in our dark house,

Walking with lit candles,

Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia!

While he sang, he lit the other candles and then began to walk them through their house. He was glad that they didn’t have a full time staff because it would have made what they were doing so much more awkward. He was embarrassed enough to be practicing something that he barely remember with people that he had never done it before, he didn’t need Kerch people that only tolerated him judging him on top of it.

Night walks grand, yet silent,

Now hear its gentle wings,

In every room so hushed,

Whispering like wings.

Look, at our threshold stands,

White-clad with light in her hair,

Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia!

They trailed up and down every hallway with the candles in hands. Matthias stopped on each floor, at the window that looked into the staircase, so that he could make the same rune marking. It was important to bring the disir towards the correct windows and show them that they were welcome. The fire would also drag out anything bad that the year had left behind.

Darkness shall take flight soon,

From earth's valleys.

So she speaks

Wonderful words to us:

A new day will rise again

From the rosy sky…

Santa Lucia, Santa Lucia!

As the song came to a close, he turned north and then did the rune motion one more time. He then blew out his candle and watched the others do it as well. The single candle that would remain all night was the first one that they had lit, the one that would bring the women spirits back to protect him in the way that he needed so desperately. While he loved his spouses and was trying very hard to figure out the life that they led, the culture that was so different from his own, and everything else they needed, he had never felt more lost. He needed the guidance of the people that had come before him and the best ones to give that to him was his mother and sister.

“Was that everything you had hoped it would be?” Nina asked. She didn’t have the wide, teasing grin on her face that she almost always did. Her green eyes were shining brightly with hope and adoration instead.

“It was more,” he replied as he leaned down and pecked her lips. Inej was there a moment later, her small hand slipping into his so that she could drag him back to her room. He had promised her that he would go through her Sankta books so that they could see if anyone resembled his own saint. The others would likely splinter off to get ready for bed, but the day had been perfect so he honestly didn’t care that they weren’t all warm and surrounding him any longer. They would do it again throughout the upcoming year and they would definitely do it again during the Day of the Disir.

---

Jesper: Auld Lang Syne

Their home was quiet for once. It seemed to be that way more and more often whenever they crept into winter. Jesper knew that well, because the sounds of critters had always completely disappeared when they all migrated somewhere warmer or went into hibernation. Novyi Zem’s climate was different than Kerch, it actually snowed but not nearly as much as it did in Ravka and Fjerda. The ground would freeze first and then the quiet would come. It was a good time to look back on everything that had come before him, which was the tradition that he was trying to bring back.

He felt guilty for not having done it all the years since he had left his home and his father. Colm may not have completely understood the holiday that he was celebrating and why certain things were done the way that they were, but he had understood that his wife had wanted his son to know her culture and way of things. He had tried to keep the traditions going and the holidays celebrated every year since Aditi had lived. Then Jesper had moved to Kerch and let his life completely fall apart before he had to pick it back up for the five people that had won his heart over.

He had almost completely forgotten about the celebration of the New Year and Ukukhumbula Izinyanya. Novyi Zem was somewhere that was always being settled and thus the culture was ever changing, even if people like Jesper’s mother remembered the old traditions and celebrated them in the proper way. He didn’t think that any of his ancestors would be too upset at him for celebrating things the way that he was, especially now that he was celebrating them instead of just ignoring them as he had been before.

Jesper had first gotten the idea to celebrate his holiday that year because Matthias had asked them to join him in his celebration of the Day of Disir. It was one of the only times that he ever remembered that the Winter Solstice was actually coming because it was so different than where he had come from when he was in Kerch. Ghezen’s Day was something that was made up by men far later than Ukukhumbula Izinyanya had been, so it never fell where the other holidays did and let him get lost in the mix of it all.

This year, he was going to celebrate it the way that his mother had taught him. He had woken early the next morning after they had finished celebrating the Day of the Disir and then set candles down on their front porch. He had spoken the words of the prayer for a late celebration as he lit the two candles to make up for the day that he had forgotten. He made sure that he was awake early every morning so that he wouldn’t be caught by the others.

Celebrating his holiday with his partners wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but he always felt embarrassed by how much he missed his mother. Kaz, Matthias, and Nina had all lost both of their parents when they were very young. Inej had been ripped away from her entire family and was usually a world away from them on a good day. Wylan still had his mother but she wasn’t the same woman that she had been, the woman that he remembered working to help raise him. Jesper had his father and he should have been grateful for that, but he wallowed in the grief of losing his mother more than he wanted to admit.

When he did, he felt stupid. He knew that he should be thankful that he still had a parent that loved him even if Colm didn’t entirely understand him. He shouldn’t spend all of his time thinking about the parent that he lost when he still had one that was willing to turn the world upside down for him.

Ukukhumbula Izinyanya was his chance to finally get to mourn in the way that he wanted. His mother wouldn’t be disappointed him because Ukukhumbula Izinyanya was something she had wanted him to celebrate and it was a happy occasion. While there were occasionally tears for people that had passed very recently to the celebration, it was mostly a rememberance of the people that had come before and how cherished they were when they walked the earth.

The first day was meant to be for the patriarchal side of the family, but Jesper’s father was Kaelish so it was a half blessing that he had missed it. He wasn’t sure that any of his Kaelish ancestors were going to particularly enjoy being celebrated in a Zemini way since they were so fearful of all things otherworldly magical.

The second day was for the matriarchal side of his family, which was the one that he had really wanted to celebrate in the first place. So after he had done the prayer that he needed to make sure that he wouldn’t be haunted, he got to work in the kitchen. It happened to be the day of rest so their household would be empty of staff unless they specifically sent for someone, which they wouldn’t.

He searched the kitchen for flour, salt, and yeast so that he could make the same kind of bread that his mother had. He focused mostly on getting out the seasonings that she had always included to give it a bit of a kick when it was the only thing that they got to eat. They had dried rosemary and thyme that had been shipped from the Southern Colonies. Nothing was going to be as good as what she had grown in their side garden and then hung to dry in their kitchen, but he would make do.

His hands moved on their own as he got the measuring cups and then figured out the ratio for the loaf that he wanted to make. He hummed under his breath as he prayed for the women in his family, the people that had birthed his mother and turned her into the wonderful woman that she was. The Zemini worshipped their ancestors as ghosts, not believing in Saints or gods the same way that the other cultures did. It was similar to what the Shu did, because there were large Shu populations in the certain states that his mother had been raised in.

He placed the loaf of bread down into the bowl and then placed a cloth over it. He set his hands together so that his fingertips were touching and his palms were towards his chest. Slowly, he dragged his hands over the top of the bowl so that he had affected all of the dough inside. It rose as the yeast changed and activated with his zowa abilities.

“Jesper? What are you doing awake so early?” Kaz rasped, his cane clacking loudly as he transitioned from the wooden hallway into the tiled kitchen.

“I was just doing something that reminded me of my mother, is all,” he replied awkwardly. “You can go back to bed if you want, I’m not going to do anything stupid. Just baking bread.”

“Is this a holiday of yours?” Kaz asked instead of leaving like Jesper had expected. Sometimes he forgot that they weren’t the young kids from the Barrel anymore, tripping over each other to prove that they could work whenever and get more power from Haskell. They were a married couple that lived in a Mercher house and had a combined wealth that would make even the king of Fjerda blush.

“I… guess that you could call it that,” Jesper shrugged awkwardly. “It’s the Ukukhumbula Izinyanya week. I missed yesterday and I’m trying to make up for it by doing more than just lighting candles.”

“You could have brought it up yesterday when we were celebrating the Day of the Disir for Matthias,” Kaz replied.

“I didn’t remember until we were actually celebrating and I thought that it would be rude to try and force my celebration over the top of his. You saw how nervous he was when he came in to ask us if we would be willing to celebrate with him,” Jesper replied immediately.

Kaz let out a huff as he realized that his husband had a point. “Fine. But we’re going to celebrate with you today, if you want us. If this is something that you have to do on your own then I’m going to go upstairs and tell everyone to stay away from you.”

“No, this is something that we should all do together. Traditionally everyone makes bread and talks about their maternal family on the second day,” he explained.

The dark eyes that the zowa had fallen so agressively in love with flickered over the things that he had spread out over the counter. The little furrow around his mouth and between his brows became more prominent as he began to scheme about what his next step would be, “Can it wait until we get back down here or are you running out of time?”

“This can rise for a bit longer,” Jesper explained. He removed the towel from over the top of the bread to examine it. He hadn’t done it as well as his mother would have, so extra proving in the warmth of the kitchen would only serve to make it better.

Kaz gave a nod and then immediately turned around. The sound of his cane hitting the floor with his uneven gate echoed down the hall as he neared the staircase. By the time that he had gotten to the second floor, Jesper wasn’t able to hear him whatsoever. His body was buzzing with more energy than normal, which was making it incredibly hard to be patient. He tried to focus by pulling out honeys, jams, and whatever else he could think of that they would need for bread making and eating.

His mind had thoroughly convinced him that the others were upstairs complaining or laughing about him by the time that they had all piled into the kitchen so that they could accompany him on his journey through a celebration he barely remembered. Everyone had dressed in the clothing that they wore when they were painting with Marya or working with Wylan out in the garden, something they could get dirty but still made them all look so wonderful.

Jesper got everyone started on their recipe and then taught them the words to the song that they needed to sing while they were kneading the dough while it was proofing. He wasn’t experienced enough as a Durast to actually get all of their bread to raise properly without also giving it some natural warmth to prove.

By the time that everyone had a bowl full of dough in time for kneading, they were ready. Jesper showed them how to dump it out onto the floured counters and then how they were supposed to knead it. His voice was the first to call out to their kitchen, echoing over the sound of the bread in his hands and the fire in the hearth.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And never brought to mind?

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And days of Auld Lang Syne

For Auld Lang Syne, my dear

For Auld Lang Syne

We'll take a cup of kindness yet

Once he got to the next verse, Matthias and Nina had joined him. He couldn’t help the smile that began to stretch across his face, despite the saddening memories of his mother popping up in his mind, when he noticed that Nina was somehow out of key. Wylan was singing much slower than them but sped up once he got the hang of kneading the dough to the tune they were singing. Inej was a soprano, lovely and chipper as she sang in time with the others. Kaz was the last to start but when he finally did, they were all aware of the deep notes mixing amongst theirs.

For Auld Lang Syne

And here's the hand, my trusty friend

And gives a hand o'thine

We'll take a cup of kindness yet

For Auld Lang Syne

For Auld Lang Syne, my dear

For Auld Lang Syne

We'll take a cup of kindness yet

For Auld Lang Syne

For Auld Lang Syne, my dear

The chorus repeated again and again while they kneaded their dough to perfection. Jesper was glad that they lived in a house that was made to host huge, wonderful parties because that meant that they had plenty of tins for the bread to go in. He tucked each loaf into the oven so that it could bake until it was perfect.

The waiting had always been the worst part for him, when he had been unable to sit and listen to someone whatsoever instead of just struggling with it quite a lot. It was far easier when he was in the company of his companions and he knew that they were wasting one of the days that they could have been using to take down slavers for him.

None of them appeared to mind on the outside, especially Inej. They all told stories about the members of their mother’s families, at least what they remembered. Jesper talked about his mother and when his father had caught her mending his shirts with her powers. She would put her hands on her hips and suddenly feel as big as the house even if she was substantially shorter than Colm. He would fluster and babble in multiple languages until he finally managed to admit that he was still worried that people from his home country would find her and kill her for her blood. He talked about the time that she had accidentally added salt to their jam instead of sugar and the recipes that she had made to correct that mistake, foods he still craved but would never get. Finally, he told the story of how she died. He had never told his spouses about that before and it felt so freeing to finally have her heroic dead in the minds of the people that he cherished. His mother was a wonderful woman and deserved to be known by the people he had picked to spend the rest of his life with.

Kaz spoke about his mother as well. He told them the story of how she brought chickens into their home when he was three because she was afraid of them getting hurt by the rooster from the neighbors farm. He spoke about how she sang when she cooked and how that was the only sound his father would tolerate in the house. He didn’t talk about how she had died or when, he didn’t have to. They could all tell he barely had any memories of his mother left and was grieving that fact rather intensely.

Inej talked about her grandmother, who had passed when she was ten. She told them all about the difference in how her mother and grandmother made bread in the fire, and how they would always argue about it. She talked about the kinds of stories that she was told by aunts and grandfathers on that side of the family, how they regailed her with the tail of her parent’s romance and the saints whneever she wanted them to.

Wylan stayed quiet throughout the entire process. His mother was still very much alive and he had barely known his grandparents from her side. It wasn’t common for the Kerch to have extended families that they were close to because each of the children was expected to make their own way in the world without their parents to guide them.

Matthias talked the most, even though he had already told them about his family the night before. He spoke less than Jesper, somehow. He told them about how he helped take care of his little sister whenever he was asked, how the aunties in his village would pinch at his cheeks and pull his hair when they were braiding it, and what his mother would make him eat whenever he was sick.

Nina talked about the mother that she had barely gotten to know. She told them the only memory that she had, of her mother singing to her when she had the flu. She had gotten her voice from her father apparently, because the sound she remembered from the woman that had carried her was one of the best she had ever known. She also talked about some of the teachers that she had at the Little Palace before the Darkling had killed them all during the civil war. She spoke about the woman who had eagerly taught her every language that she could now speak, the woman that had taught her how to fight when her hands were bound, and the woman that had first braided her hair for her. They technically weren’t on the maternal side of her family but it was close enough given the high orphaning rates of Ravkan children.

The bread finished baking and Jesper pulled it out so that it could cool. They could barely wait to cut each of the loaves open and then dig into the soft flesh, dipped into butter, honey, and jam so that it accentuated the things that they had put inside of it. Jesper knew that his mother would never come back, she had log since moved on, but when he was doing things like this with people that he loved, he had never felt closer to her.

---

Inej: Carol of the Bells

Inej would have never called herself lazy, but she had always struggled to rise in the morning. She knew that it came with being a performer, because usually her act was towards the middle of the show and that was late into the evening. That had changed so that she rose even later in the day after she had started working for the Dregs. She would stay up night after night while staking something out for Kaz or while crawling around for secrets. She had to completely flip the other way when she got her ship. A captain had to be up with the rest of her crew and she refused to be known as one of the leaders that thought she was too good for the people that she hired. She rose with them and that meant that she was up with the sun, as soon as there was light to see what they were doing without the flickering of lanterns.

She had been with her partners for the duration of the winter so that she could give her crew some time off, but she barely worked with the Dregs any longer. She was the one that busted down the door and made the Fear of the Saints strike deep into the hearts of the men that they were terrorizing. She wasn’t the one that had to sit and watch the building for days on end so that they knew when their target would be coming and going. She had preserved her sleep schedule for the first time since she had started using The Wraith to hunt down slaving ships.

That had the unfortunate consequence of meaning that she was up lateer than the rest of her partners were. Wylan and Jesper had to be up for business and Council stuff, which meant that they would join her about an hour to an hour and a half after she had risen herself. Matthias was also still a soldier since he had been trained that way for the majority of his life, and he would wake with her sometimes. The others were trying to convince him that he could rest and enjoy himself when he didn’t want to wake quite yet, though.

Inej was alone in the mornings, but that was okay. She didn’t feel completely hollow and abandoned when she was alone, away from the people that she loved and trusted, anymore. She felt at peace with her saints and the world around her when she was on her own.

So she slipped from the bed and wrapped herself up in Nina’s shawl. The other woman’s perfume and favored soap were still clinging to the garment, so it almost felt like her wife was beside her as she made her way out into the hall. She undid the ribbon at the bottom of her braid and then began to run her free hand through her hair so that she could undo the snarls that had formed there while she was sleeping.

Her bare feet hit the stones before she had even realized that she had walked outside. She was used to winters that were so harsh that one couldn’t see their hand in front of their face even next to the coast. She had adjusted to the Kerch winters as well, drizzling wet with optional snow and clouded skies. The season that she had just spent with her spouses was colder than the others had been, but not more than the late fall air on the sea near Fjerda.

She kept her feet carefully on the slippery stones that led the path through the garden so that she wouldn’t have to clean them when she came inside. She knew that Wylan paid the staff that kept their house very well and would never have an indenture, so the people that worked for him like doing so, but she couldn’t help but feel bad when she made more work for them to do.

Inej hummed softly to herself as her toes adjusted to the nip of the early morning air compared to the stuffiness of the house. She walked further into the garden before her eyes spied something that had not been there when she had walked it with Jesper the day before. She crouched down beside a raised garden and then brushed her fingers over the bud of the flower to make sure that she could feel the silkiness of petals instead of the waxiness of leaves.

Joy threaded through her system as she turned back towards the house and nearly ran up the stairs to her bedroom. She shed her clothing after she had delicatly placed Nina’s shawl down onto her bed. She knew how precious that garment was to her wife and she would sooner throw herself from The Wraith’s crows nest than hurt it in her carelessness. As soon as she was bare, she wiped her body off with a bit of water and a cloth to feel fresh after her sleep. She then donned her outfit for the day, a flowing white chemise topped with a scarlet skirt.

She couldn’t wait until she had finished with her braid as she stepepd out of her room and headed towards the master bedroom where the rest of her partners would still be sleeping. When she got to the doorway, she saw that they had risen from slumber but were still safely under the nest of blankets on the bed.

“Kaz, how do you feel about touching today?” Inej asked. She had just finished wrapping a ribbon around the bottom of her hair so that it was stuck in place. She usually wore the silver or red that Kaz and Nina had given her respectively. Given what she had just seen in the garden, she had chosen to go for something blue instead.

“That’s an odd question before seven bells,” Kaz yawned as he rolled over. “I think that I can handle anything other than penetration today. Why?”

“I saw a flower bud. This winter has been a lot closer to the ones that I used to get in Ravka and since we had more celebrations than we usually did, I figured that we could also celebrate one from my culture,” she beamed. She gave a final tug to the ribbon in her hair and then clambered up onto the bed so that she was sitting in front of all of her partners, near-black eyes flitting over them expectantly.

Nina was always the slowest to rise, despite also being a soldier like Matthias. Hearing about another culture that she could learn about was enough to get her to actually wake. She shifted on the bed and then threw her legs over Matthias’ lap so that she was spread out like some kind of divine goddess. “They didn’t teach us all that much about Suli culture when I was at the Little Palace. What kind of winter holidays do you have?”

“We don’t have winter holidays. They’re considered to be frivolous because we have so little to hold us over,” she explained. “Only so much dry cheese and salted meat can fit on each wagon and we’re stuck in one place unless we end up on the coast, which happens very rarely. We instead celebrate the coming of spring with a dance and a song. I want to teach it to you.”

“I can’t dance,” Kaz rasped almost as soon as the words had left her mouth.

She thought for a moment that he was just denying her because they so often butted heads about the things that she had brought with her from her homeland. Then she saw that his ungloved hand was flickering down towards his bad knee and realized that he was being honest. He really couldn’t dance the bouncy festival dance that she had in her mind. She still wanted to perform it and it would be awkward with only five instead of six, but she would find a way to include him. “Well, you can single, can’t you?” she asked.

“Yes,” he nodded. “But I don’t want to mess it up because I have a limp.”

“Plenty of people sat out on the dancing because they had slipped or were feeling achy or had two left feet,” she shrugged easily. She had to sit out one year when she was seven because she had a massive gash on her leg from an icicle she wasn’t meant to be playing with. “As long as you’re participating, I don’t think that the Saints care how.”

“Can we have breakfast first?” Jesper whined, trying to burrow himself further under the covers. She thought that it was adorable that her husband rose with the sun at all times, which meant that in the winter he usually woke up around nine bells at the earliest.

Inej laughed and then squirmed off of the bed. The staff would be in later that day to make them dinner and clean the estate, but they were on their own for breakfast. Nina squirmed away from Matthias and hurried after their wife so that she could have a say about what they would eat.

The rest of the morning was spent as it always was. Eventually, everyone got up and got dressed. Inej noticed with no little amount of joy that they had all picked out outfits that were similar to the one that she was wearing. Nina was always dressed in something grand and beautiful since she had never been allowed to do that when she had been back with the Second Army. This time it was a lovely green dress with a sweeping neckline and massive angle wing sleeves. Wylan had a sky blue shirt one, which matched with the pants that Matthias had chosen. Jesper was wearing the toned down version of his Barrel flash that he now used for when he was going to meetings with Wylan. Even Kaz had put on something cream colored instead of his usual white shirt.

Once they had finished with their breakfast, Ine nearly dragged her partners out to the widest part of the garden where they could actually have their dance. She helped Kaz down to the ground so that his knee would be soothed and they could get on with everything.

She spent the next hour giggling and stepping on people’s toes as they went in the wrong direction or missed something. She found out that she was not the best teacher in the world, but she was far more patient than her mother and siblings had been. Once she had the steps of the dance down, she taught them some of the lyrics of the song. She knew them in both Suli and Ravkan.

According to her father, back when the Suli were still considered to be a welcomed part of the community for the roads that they traveled, the Ravkan townspeople would come and sing along with them. That had changed when the winters got harsher and the Suli were more and more often trapped in Shu Han or in the stranded edges of the road where no one else lived. Typically, some of her cousins that had Ravkan blood would sing the song in the other language so that they could get in trouble from the aunties that didn’t like it. They only did that so they could sit next to the tent with the food and steal from it when everyone was dancing.

Hark! Hear the bells, sweet silver bells,

All seem to say, ding dong.

Spring soon is here, bringing good cheer,

To young and old, meek and the bold.

Ding-dong-ding-dong, that is their song,

With joyful ring, all caroling

She knew that the beginning was going to be awkward because everyone was going to be trying to match the song up with the dance. She made sure to slow the tempo down since the song only got faster. It was supposed to be a game of sorts, swirling and whirling around the room while singing as quickly as possible. The faster the song, the faster spring would come.

Inej was aware of where her partners were at all times so that she could guide them through more difficult parts of the dance. She felt lighter on her feet and her soul than she had been in a long time, even when she was onboard her ship.

One seems to hear, words of the cheer

From everywhere, filling the air,

Oh, how they pound, raising the sound

O’r here and there, telling their tale

Gaily they ring, while People sing

Songs of the cheer, Spring soon is here

On, on they send, on without end

Their joyful tone, to every home

Jesper had just grabbed her hand so that he could spin her. She made sure that she placed her feet on top of his shoes so that she could avoid being stepped on. He had been trying his best the entire time that they were working together, but he was big and awkward when he was doing something other than shooting his gun.

When she whirled around and came to a stop for the end of the verse, she saw that Kaz was also singing. She had suspected that he as going to sit there sullenly, while assuring her that he did sing. She was overjoyed to know that he was learning what really meant something to her after so long of them butting heads over this.

Hark! Hear the bells, sweet silver bells

All seem to say, ding dong,

On, on they send, on without end

Their joyful tone, to every home.

Ding-dong-ding-dong

She ended the song in Wylan’s arms and Jesper was being held by Matthias. Nina had dramatically wrapped her arms around her own body to show that she was dancing even though she had ended up without a partner. They all looked at each other, faces red with exertion and chests heaving from the physicality of it all. It only took another second or two before they all ended up bursting into laughter.

It was all just as it had been back when she was home. She had never been the one to spot the first bud when she was a child, but she was with her new family. She was two women, two girls, two people. She had her family back in Ravka that moved and spoke the language that she thought in. But she was also the wife to the five most dangerous people in Ketterdam. She had never thought that those two worlds would join, but she was overjoyed about being wrong for the first time in her life.

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izzysarchivedblogs · 1 year ago

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Clint doesn't comment, because the last avengers team he had been on was Kate's West Coast, than before that he hadn't been on one officially for some time. He misses the times when he was with his friend, he thinks the last time may have beeen before he even had his bed-stuy apartment. He can't be certain.

Technically, he had been on the SECRET avengers, but the problem was that it was meant to be SECRET. It felt like forever, and how had Blade ended up there but than he's not a fan favorite nor did he had have specific strengths that no one else had. OKAY. He had trick arrows, but you put him next to Tony Stark or any guy with neat gadgets paired with their super brain?

❝ I mean I have been traveling. ❞ Settled down in LA for a bit, but otherwise. Clint has called the road home more than anything. Even, when he got the call from Steve to meet him in Doverton which turned into a whole Carnage thing. He didn't stay in New York when all of that was over.

He had his little ragtag bunch here and there. West Coast.

He bumps Tony back, doesn't break either of their hearts with the reminders that Clint's an alcoholic who burned a lot of bridges with their friends. Who put on two costumes and went out to fight crime when superheroes were banned. He ignored that law blatantly while Wilson Fisk was mayor. HE CONTRIBUTED TO MAKING THINGS FOR OTHERS.

A special taskforce got approved specifically to take down Clint's Ronin.

HE'D KILL TO BE ON A TEAM WITH HIS FRIENDS AGAIN.

❝ So you'll pitch a tent, sleep under the stars, smell the dirt? ❞ He's grinning like a cat who caught the morning bird. Tony's little scoffs were something that he collected with pride, and that was another win for him. ❝ Robin Hood has nothing on me, bet he couldn't do archery, STANDING on a horse's back, and backflipping off. ❞ One of his many tricks, a not so humble brag.

❝ I think maybe we did, yeah. ⸺⸻ I.. mom... ❞

It's as Tony points that out, that he thinks he may be right. Clint had his own anger, but Barney's was different. He thinks that maybe he and Edith did have their own little thing. Sure, that may have come from Clint's desperate need to be a good son, the perfect son. He tried to work hard, do good, and be better. Do as asked, so that he'd be loved by mom and maybe dad would want to be a better day. Followed his brother around, followed his mother around, and would constantly look to Harold in the butcher shop as a five year swept the floor over and over, trying to see if he was impressed with his help.

IT'S SO TRUE. He rolls his eyes at Tony, because he's got an act and image. A lie to tell himself. Clint went from the guy who wanted to be taken seriously to whatever he was now. Keeping up a dumb act, playing the joke. ❝ Oh no, my reputation. ❞ He mumbles sarcastically, but doesn't reinforce the act. He can drop it.

Clint chuckles when Tony sits forward to stretch. ❝ Old man, ❞ he points out and than starts to it forward as well as Tony offers for him to lie down with him Clint's got nothing better, he was just going to stay up all night and stare at a tv screen, space out in his own thoughts and process the day. The AA meeting not an hour ago and all the emotions.

Talking about Edith. Tony. Carol. Their eyes on him as he said it. The look. The pride.

❝ Nineteen seasons, hundred and sixty four episodes. ❞ He'll probably change it after two or three episodes because even Clint could only take so much conspiracy theory.

❝ Cast up, so you figure that out and make our puzzle pieces fit. ❞

Yes, he'll lie down with him.

Tony smiles and bumps his shoulder against Clint's. "I'm glad you stayed. Need to get you back on a team. This first though. I went to Thor and Steve about restarting the team. I specifically said I missed them. You know. A team? Family. Then I don't know what happened. How did we end up with Blade on the team and not you? T'Challa's in charge but I don't even think that's it. It was just like a thing happened and we were there and then anyone else who was there just ended up on the team."

I'M SORRY.

He scoffs at the glamping comment. "The tech and the camping were separate thoughts. Anytime I'm with you with horses it's like the wild west or fucking medieval England and you're dressed up as Robin Hood. I'm gonna bring my phone with me, but I don't think that'll make it glamping."

He smiled at the new memory. "That was a good one. I bet you two got up to all kinds of mischief that you don't remember."

It was making more sense. Clint was making more sense. Everything from the absolute willingness to do anything Natasha told him to when they first met because he had learned so young that you did what you were told or you were denied love. To the cockiness. To the strong moral compass. Even the fact that he had given Steve so much shit when he first joined the team. He was getting so many pieces of Clint filled in.

"It's so true, Clint. But if you want I can keep pretending you're simple. But I will in fact be pretending."

He yawns and stretches, the joints in his back popping. "Lie down with me?" he asks. "I'll keep being offended by your stupid show, but from a reclined position. What position is more comfortable for you? Cast down or up?"

#ic; clint barton #mrtonystark #alcoholism cw #clint barton; mrtonystark #rp; mrtonystark #verse; clint barton; who shares your burdens (mrtonystark)

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pedrito-friskito · 2 years ago

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fire and whiskey - joel miller x fem!reader

summary: you never expected to run into joel again after boston, but here he is, and here you are.

warnings: spoilers for the last of us (i’m six hours into a play-through LOL), a lot of swearing, canon-typical violence, MENTIONS/DEPICTIONS OF ASSAULT (pls do not read if that is triggering for you!), unprotected p-in-v, fingering, oral (m receiving), joel is a grumpy man and I love him for it

a/n: please heed the warnings!! my first time writing joel and I’m kinda hooked. this show is truly going to be the death of me and I can’t wait for pedro’s performance. it’s so easy to see how he’s gonna fit watching the game itself play out.

🍂kay’s autumn adventures🍂

When he grabs you from behind, you don’t make a sound. You’ve learned, by now, to keep things quiet. But you’re still not expecting it, your whole body jolting with surprise and a breath sucked down your throat. Joel’s hand clamps over your mouth, thick fingers nearly cutting off your nose, but you don’t make a noise, letting him pull you backwards away from the clicker, feet scrambling silently over the doorjamb before he pushes it shut, quiet as can be.

“You need to keep your eyes open, girl,” he spits at you, barely above a whisper. It’s nearly pitch-black in the room, but you can just make out the shape of him, and somehow, those dark eyes manage to glitter all the same as they do in sunlight. It’s maddening. “I saw that thing comin’ a mile away. You distracted or somethin’?”

You shake your head, then realize he probably can’t see your head movement, so throw out a whispered no.

Of course, you’re fucking distracted. It’s Joel. Ten months later, and Joel fucking Miller appears out of nowhere like some kind of guardian angel, yanking a runner off you and putting a pipe through the thing’s face. You haven’t seen him since Boston. Since before everything that happened…happened.

Since Jason.

Since Tess.

Fuck, you think inwardly, exhaling against his palm. Tess. Sure, she wasn’t the nicest woman you’d ever met in your life, but she’d helped keep you alive, and you knew Joel was close to her, in that strange, standoffish, I act like I hate you but I’ll be quietly devastated if anything ever happens to you way that you’ve come to associated with Joel Miller. It’s the way of the world now, to a certain degree, but goddamn it if Joel didn’t take it to the next level. Always.

Even after it all, after Jason was dealt with and he’d told you you were square, you still didn’t know where you stood with Joel. If he liked you or hated you, or if he genuinely didn’t give a fuck.

But then earlier, before you’d crept inside the old warehouse in search of supplies, when you’d been knocked into the pavement by a runner and Joel had intervened, when he saw it was you, there was a moment. A glimmer of something, too quick to memorize but there long enough for your brain to fixate on it, to focus on, to dissect.

“It’s you,” was all he’d said, the pipe still buried in the runner’s face, using it as leverage to yank the limp body off of you. “I’ll be damned.”

“Joel fucking Miller,” you’d nearly gasped with relief, throwing your arms around his neck. He’d muttered something unintelligible, giving you a halfhearted squeeze around the waist. “Thank god.”

“Good to see you, girl.”

That had been the extent of the reunion. You were introduced to Ellie shortly after, and to Bill, Joel’s friend from a town over back in Boston. And Joel told you about Tess.

Desperation had pushed you into the warehouse, all of you with growling stomachs and Bill with a bad arm injury. You’d used the last of your pain meds days back, and Joel had bandages, but it wouldn’t do much to ease his friend’s discomfort. When Ellie told you it’d been two days since they had anything to eat, you slipped her half a granola bar you had stashed, and you didn’t miss the way Joel looked at you sideways.

And now you’re inside, your back pressed to Joel’s front and his hand clamped over your mouth. You expect him to smell awful — and mostly, he does — but there’s something beneath it, something manly and comforting and strong.

So yes, you’re fucking distracted.

It’s a few hours before you get out of the warehouse, your arms aching from holding your rifle at the ready, shoulders screaming from the weight of your pack. It’s worth it, though — each of your bags is practically filled to burst with medical supplies, food scraps, what have you.

And the best of all: booze.

Bill had nearly cried when you stumbled on the box, your head cocking to the side when you heard the rattle of glass. The fact that it wasn’t shattered was already surprising, but when you flipped open the cardboard to reveal three intact bottles of good old Jack Daniels, even Joel had mumbled out his surprise.

You find a quiet alley outside the warehouse, hang around long enough for your stomachs to stop eating themselves, and for Bill to swig back most of one of the bottles of whiskey.

“Nature’s Tylenol,” he claims, and you and Ellie let out quiet giggles. Joel cracks a smile.

“Where y’all headed?” you ask, after an awkward silence settles over the group of you and you find yourself desperate to break it.

“That’s the elusive question, isn’t it?” Bill comments, and Joel scoffs. “Don’t suppose you’ve seen any car batteries laying around, have ya?”

Your brow furrows, Ellie laughs, and Bill throws his hands up, muttering under his breath and grabbing his shotgun and heading back for the street. “We going?” Ellie asks Joel, and he nods. “You should come,” she says to you, her eyes bright, tone inviting. It’s sweet. “It’d be nice to have another girl around.”

You laugh, punching her arm lightly, playful. But then you look at Joel, and the feeling withers slightly. “That all right with you?”

“Where’re you headed?”

You shrug a shoulder. “Nowhere fast.”

He lifts his chin, looking down his nose at you. “Well, may as well stay together. For tonight at least.”

“Okay,” you agree, and that’s that.

There’s a lot of walking, quiet conversation passed between you, recounting where you’ve been, what your plan (or lack there of) is, people from your and Joel’s briefly shared past. Bill leads the group of you, bottle dangling from his hand most of the way, and Ellie is a few feet behind, Joel falling into step beside you.

“Been a long time since I saw you,” he says gruffly. Your hands brush as you walk, and Joel flinches, making the space between you a little winder. “Since—”

“Jason,” you finish, stuffing your hands in your pockets. “I never thanked you properly.”

“Ah,” he waves you off. “You don’t have to thank me for anythin’, girlie.”

Girlie. It makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Even back in Boston, when things were…rough, whenever you’d run into Joel, or Tess would bring you around for a job or something, it was always the same. Those dark eyes, occasionally crinkled at the corners, always giving you a once over. You knew what it was, in reality — he was checking you for bites, anything out of the ordinary, any trace of blood, and, once he knew what Jason really was, bruises. How you doin’, girlie? You eaten today, girlie? You feelin’ okay, girlie?

And after, when he and Tess had burst into your apartment back in Boston, seeing you beaten and bloody in the corner, Jason with reddened fists raised, a feral look in his eye. Not infected, just…awful.

Tess had yanked you to your feet and Joel had stood in front of the pair of you, blocking Jason’s path to you. “Back off.” It wasn’t a request. An order, delivered with a voice like hard steel and a raised gun levelled between Jason’s eyes.

It was a marriage of convenience, in every sense. And not a real marriage, not by a long shot. You’d met Jason somewhere between your hometown in Colorado and the camp in Boston, and it became a matter of survival. You kept his bed warm at night, and in return, he kept you protected, kept you alive. It wasn’t love, not really. Jason had his moments, but the bad started to outweigh the good. And the bruises came later.

Then they became too much.

You hung outside until the curfew reminders sounded, if you could manage it. Bouncing from friend to friend, trying to find odd jobs, asking Tess to find you something to do. You only went home when you got desperate, and more often than not, Jason was up waiting, ready to hurl insults and accusations the second you were through the door. His latest was that you were sleeping with other people, throwing yourself at anyone in camp who so much as glanced at you.

“I bet she’s fucking you too, isn’t she, Miller?” he half-screamed at Joel, waving his hands like a crazy person. Tess tucked you under her arm and you tried to wipe the blood from your face. “Fucking whore!”

He lunged for you and Joel laid him out flat, a gunshot echoing through the apartment. Through and through to his shoulder, the bullet leaving a hole in the wall, casing clattering to the floor. “I said, back off.”

Jason didn’t listen, blind with rage, pulling a switchblade from his pocket and trying to run at you again, ducking in an attempt to move around Joel, but it only made things worse.

The second shot would have gone through his shoulder again, another warning. He would have lived. But ducking put him level with the gun, and instead, it went through his forehead. Blood sprayed, you screamed and Tess shielded you, and his body hit the floor.

Joel put his gun away, gently took you from Tess. “Pack her things,” he said to her, his hands warm around your biceps as he held you up. “I’ll deal with this.”

Tess nodded, disappearing towards your bedroom, and your eyes were stuck on the body on the floor. “He’s gone.”

“He is,” Joel agreed, producing a bit of gauze from his pocket, dabbing at your split lip. “It’s okay, girlie. You’re safe now.”

You’d crumbled into him. Tess let you stay in her apartment a few days, but by the end of the week, you were gone.

“Where did you go?” Joel asks, the question yanking you out of your memories. “After.”

“Salem, for a while,” you answer, staring down at your boots. “Providence for a bit after that, then the plan was Washington, but here I am instead.”

“By yourself?”

You just nod.

He whistles. “I taught you well.”

He had. In the days after Jason and before your departure, most of your time had been spent with Joel. He taught you how to shoot every gun they could get their hands on, setting up target practice with tin cans behind one of the apartment blocks. Bow and arrow too, hand-to-hand combat, knives. You name it, if Joel knew how to use it, he was showing you how to do it too.

And his cardinal rule: never let go of your weapon, not if you can help it.

You nod again, lifting your elbow so it nudges him in the side. He’s gotten a little closer to you. “You did. I’d be dead if it wasn’t for you, Joel.”

You swear he blushes.

Another couple hours of travel, and you find a farmhouse, mostly intact. A few smashed windows, sure, but it’s secure enough, far enough from the main roads that you’re not worried about stragglers. Bill and Joel clear the house out first, you and Ellie keeping watch by the road.

“Did you and Joel used to date?” she asks, blunt as anything, while you’re sharing a bottle of water, which you nearly spit out.

“W-what?” You wipe your face, feeling your cheeks heat. “What makes you say that?”

“He looks at you,” she says, shrugging a shoulder, “when you’re not looking at him. Like he thinks you’re gonna disappear or something.”

You choke on a laugh, waving her off. “You’re imagining things, kid.”

“Am not!”

The men emerge from the house then, waving you both in. They’ve set up a barricade of sorts in the living room, a few lanterns lit either side of the pile of blankets stacked on the floor. It’s not a real mattress by any stretch, but it’ll do.

“Gonna go build a fire out back,” Joel announces as you all get comfortable, a slim sense of safety settling over you. “I’ll take first watch.”

He disappears out the sliding door, and you watch until he disappears into the dark. A few minutes later, there’s a spark of light, then another and another, until the orange glow of a fire seeps back towards the house.

Ellie settles down completely, reading a few pages of her comic book before she’s passed out completely. You fold her comic up carefully, pulling one of the blankets over her. You try and get some sleep, tossing and turning for a few hours, but it’s no use. Your eyes keep moving to the sliding door, to the outline of Joel sitting at the fire. Finally, you give up, and get up. Bill is sprawled on the couch, his bottle of Jack cradled against him. You just laugh, pulling your own bottle from your bag and heading outside.

Joel’s fire is impressive, licking up towards the sky, embers crackling into the night as you approach. There’s a fallen log stretched across the ground, Joel sat in the centre of it, staring into the flames. Your foot snaps a twig as you get closer and he’s on his feet immediately, reaching for his gun. But he stops when he sees it’s you, and grunts.

“Sorry,” you say, lifting your hands. “Should have announced myself.”

“Yeah, you fuckin’ should have,” he agrees angrily, sinking back onto the log.

“Easy,” you lift the bottle of whiskey. “I come bearing gifts.”

His brow hardens at you. “Fine.”

You take a seat beside him and crack open the bottle. It’s a familiar burn on the way down, a strangely memorable taste that makes you feel like a teenager again, stealing liquor from your parents’ cabinet and sneaking off to parties. It feels like a million years ago.

It’s quiet, at first, the pair of you just passing the bottle back and forth, back and forth. The fire dies slightly at some point, and Joel tosses a capful towards the logs, making you jump when the flames jump high for a split second. “They teach you that in boy scouts?” you ask.

He barks a laugh. That angry tone still sits in his voice, but you can tell it’s starting to break. “I was not a fuckin’ boy scout.”

“I find that very hard to believe, Joel Miller.”

“You’re drunk.”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Oh, that’s mature.”

A long silence. You swig from the bottle and hand it to him. You’re pressed close to him on the log, trying to steal some of his warmth, your bodies touching from shoulder to hip.

Whiskey gives you a loose tongue. “What do you miss the most?”

He doesn’t answer, his brow turning to hard line on his forehead. He swigs from the bottle again. “That’s a loaded question as any, girlie.”

“I miss getting mail,” you roll over his comment. “Hell, I even miss bills. Oh, and fuzzy slippers. I used to have some that looked like turtles, it was so funny. Don’t get comfortable enough anywhere to even think about taking my shoes off, let alone wearing slippers.”

He laughs again, and the anger is gone. Success. “Turtles, huh?”

“Turtles,” you agree, grinning. “C’mon, tell me, Joel. What do you miss most? From the old days. From the normal days.”

He thinks about it. You can see it on his face, the way his brow pinches, eyes bright with something besides the firelight. The bottle dangles from his fingers; it’s nearly empty. “We need a lot more than one bottle of Jack for me to answer that.”

You roll your eyes. “Come on, I told you mine.”

“I’m not talkin’ about slippers and snail mail, girl. A lot of shit has happened since I last saw you, and even before that, you don’t know my whole story, all right? So don’t fuckin’ pry.”

“Damn,” you breathe out, stunned silence settling over you. He drinks the last of the bottle, and it’s a few minutes before you speak again, the crackling of the fire filling the quiet between you. “I know you’ve been through a lot, Joel. We’ve all been through a fucking lot, okay? So fucking forgive me for wanting to make sure you’re okay.” Sighing, you get to your feet, moving to walk around the fire.

“Listen,” he says, catching your arm as he gets up, moving closer to you as while you’re stepping away from him. “I don’t need you worryin’ about me or checkin’ up on me or anything like that, you hear? That’s not your—”

“Burden to bear?” you finish, quirking a brow, and Joel just stares at you, dark eyes widening like he’s shocked by your answer. “I know I don’t have to, Joel. That’s not why I do it.”

“You’re not listen—”

You grab him by the front of his shirt, fingers curling into worn flannel, dragging him close until you’re nearly chest to chest. There’s a pause, a complete stillness that washes over both of you for a second, his lips parted and yours following suit. Then it’s the scrape of his beard against your skin, biting at your cheeks and chin. He tastes like whiskey, something harsh that slides down your throat, something harsher that you know is just the taste of Joel.

There’s nothing soft about it. Hesitant, sure, but there’s no gentleness, nothing romantic about the way he kisses. It’s intense, his mouth devouring your own, drinking you down in every sense. His tongue dives past your teeth, curling along the roof of your mouth, and you can’t help but gasp back into him, toes curling in your boots as you lean up, desperate to get closer to him, to have him nearer, to feel his warmth as surely as you feel your own.

The fire crackles behind you, the whiskey bottle empty and discarded beside the log you’d been occupying. He finally moves, one hand finding your hip beneath your sweater, the other reaching back and curling in your ponytail, wrapping the length of it around his wrist. He tugs lightly, prickles of tension shooting along your scalp, and you let your own hands dip, sliding right up the hem of his flannel until your palms are splayed on bare skin. You can feel the heave of his breaths against your hands, the racket of his heart against his ribs.

Behind you, someone clears their throat, and you both snap apart like a sprung trap, Joel instantly turning away towards the fire, hands on his hips, while you stumble back a step, covering your mouth with one hand, trying to quell your rapid breaths and aching core.

“Just comin’ to take my watch,” Bill says, eyeing you both. His own bottle of whiskey is at his hip, shotgun cocked over his shoulder, a large machete hanging from his belt. “You two go get some shut-eye.” He brushes past Joel, clapping him on the shoulder as he goes. “Or somethin’.”

You both stand there a moment, shell-shocked, as Bill takes his seat at the fire. In the direction he came, the house glows from the inside, the camping lanterns still lit in the living room. Ellie’s asleep there, you know, and as Joel takes a step, intent on brushing past you, his cheeks bright red even in the darkness, you catch his arm.

“Meet me in the bathroom,” you say. It’s bold, and he freezes, staring down at your hand on his arm for a long moment before his eyes flick up to your face.

“I’m not what you need.” The words are gruff, his brow going hard again, and you resist the urge to roll your eyes.

“Cut the shit,” you say, shaking your head. “Now you’re the one not listening.”

Before he can get another word out, you turn on your heel and stomp back to the house. You don’t look back, don’t check to see if he’s following you or not. The sliding door squeaks as you slip inside, and sure enough, you catch sight of Ellie, still asleep, her eyes fluttering with dreams. You don’t want to disturb her.

You almost leave your gun on the kitchen counter as you make your way to the bathroom, but then Joel’s voice echoes in your mind. Never let go of your weapon, not if you can help it. So you don’t, leaving it tucked in your waistband until you’re in the bathroom, letting the door click quietly shut behind you.

It’s dark, save for a sliver of moonlight coming in through the mostly-shattered window. You take stock, ignoring the cracked floor and broken toilet. It’s surprisingly clean, given the state of things, Under the expected later of dust and grime, there’s nothing too unseemly. There’s an empty toilet paper roll still on the holder, a home improvement magazine on the back of the toilet. You turn, pushing a hand through your hair, pulling it loose of the ponytail, and inspect the sink.

The faucet is broken, handles missing and the spout off-kilter. The mirror above is broken, spidering out from a single contact point, like someone punched the glass. Your own reflection still peers back at you, fractured and disfigured. Something about it makes your chest hurt, and you rub a hand across your collarbone.

Just when you’re about to give up, convinced that he’s not coming, the door creaks open. Just a crack, just enough for you to see half his face in the opening it leaves. His gaze is still dark, but his brow is less furrowed, and he’s chewing at the inside of his lip.

Silently, he steps inside, pulls the door shut behind him. You’re leaning against the counter, your hands hooked over the particleboard. He stands in front of you, about a foot of space between you, and stares at your feet.

“It’s not that I don’t want this,” he says, his voice so low and gravelly you almost have to strain your ears to hear. “It’s not that I don’t want you. Fuck, I’ve wanted you since I laid eyes on you, back in Boston, when that fuck-head was still around. Wanted you back then, want you now, it hasn’t changed.” He inches forward, closing the distance slightly. “But this?” He gestures towards the door — towards Ellie, Bill, the fire outside, the world. “This is much bigger than us. And I can’t—”

“I’m not another thing for you to take care of, Joel,” you murmur, and reach back, pulling your gun out of your waistband, setting it on the counter. “I can handle myself. You taught me how.” His throat bobs. “And you’re right; it’s all so much bigger than us. I’m not an idiot, I’m not gonna stand in your way or make myself a liability. I know the drill. But it doesn’t matter right now.”

You reach up then, pinching the zipper of your sweater, meeting his eyes as you drag it down, ever so slow. His gaze drops from yours only to watch the path, watch the way it falls open once the zipper is undone, revealing your chest and stomach, the black line of your bra, the few scars you’ve gathered over the years.

“This—”

“Stop thinking, Joel,” you tell him, and reach for his hand, pulling it towards you, letting his calloused palm cup the curve of your breast. “Just for tonight.”

“Fuck it,” he grumbles, and then he’s on you. You thought the kiss at the fire was rough, but this is something else entirely. He’s…touch-starved, you realize, with the way he gropes at you, tipping his face into yours while his hands roam every inch of bare skin they can reach. He sighs into your mouth when you let your sweater drop further, the material sliding off your shoulders and down your arms, pooling at your wrists. How long as it been, you wonder distantly, since he touched someone else? Since someone else touched him?

Discarding your sweater, you reach up, working the buttons on his flannel, one by one until his chest is visible, scarred and golden, a light dusting of hair between his pecs. You drag your hand down it, right from the hollow of his throat, riding the soft curve of his stomach until you can hook your fingers into the waistband of his jeans, tugging him closer to you.

Joel looks down as you reach for his belt, unbuckling it quickly, the clinking sound of metal reaching your ears. He’s nearly panting, one hand curled around the side of your neck, the other braced on the wall beside you. You push your face into his neck, pressing your mouth to his jaw as you work his zipper, sticking your hand right down his pants, under the elastic of his boxers.

He’s big. Big and thick and hard as a fucking rock, hips bucking harshly into your hand the moment you close your fingers around him. “So fuckin’ soft,” he breathes out, and you stroke him once, curving your palm over the tip of his cock, the precum that’s gathered there easing your way as you move back down to his base. “Fuckin’ hell, girlie.”

You have the sense to check the ground before you sink to your knees, making sure there’s no shards of glass or anything sharp before you get down, cushioning yourself on his boots. His hands move, both diving into your hair, curling strands around his knuckles, tugging like he had at the fire. It sets your whole body aflame, and you don’t waste any time, pulling his boxers down and taking him into your mouth, swallowing his cock all the way down, groaning as you do it. The tip of him hits the back of your throat and he bucks forward, thrusting into your mouth. It makes your throat jump, but you bite back the gag, digging your nails into the meat of his ass as you pull back, bobbing your head, curling your tongue around him.

He’s watching you; you can feel it. You tip your head back slightly, cock still pressed between your lips, pulling off of him completely with a quiet pop, letting the tip rest against your lips. He just stares down at you, gaze hard as he is, brows pinched as he watches. Slowly, you open your mouth, the head of his cock brushing past your top lip, giving him just the slightest bit of teeth as you take him again. It makes him groan, the sound rumbling through his whole body, one hand smacking against the wall.

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” he spits out, and before you can move any further, he’s pushing you back, grabbing your bicep and yanking you back up. “Not gonna last if you keep that shit up.”

He kisses you again, possessive and intense, pouring himself into you as he bites at your lip, rides the line of your jaw, closes his mouth around your pulse and sucks a bruise. A reminder, you think; tomorrow, once this is all over, it’ll just be a memory, and the mark on your skin will be all that remains.

Your leggings are shoved down, the seams groaning in protest, and his hand dives into your underwear, rubbing along your folds, moaning into your mouth when he finds how wet you are. “Gonna be the fuckin’ death of me,” he grumbles into you, and you can’t help but grin, curling your arm around his shoulders as he crowds you backwards against the counter again. “Pretty little thing.”

Before you can even blink, he’s crouching, tearing your boots off your feet and yanking your pants further down. He shrugs off his flannel then, letting it join the growing pile of clothing on the ground. As he makes his way back up to stand, he pauses, curls his hand around your calf, just below your knee. Everything in you goes tight as a fucking bowstring as he leans in, presses an open-mouthed kiss to the hinge of your leg, letting his lips linger before he’s moving back up, capturing your mouth again, the hand not on your leg diving into your hair, keeping your face against his.

He steps between the bracket of your legs, his hips finding a home against yours. You can feel him, hot and heavy and making you ache, the length of him pressed to your dripping cunt. It’s too much, it’s not enough, you might explode if you don’t feel him now.

You whine into his mouth, and Joel pulls back, the corner of his mouth ticking in a grin. “Somethin’ you need, girlie?”

You just whine again, pushing your hips against him, trying to chase the feeling that’s building, desperate for any kind of friction you can get. “Joel, please.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” he mutters.

Then he’s inside you.

And it’s fucking earth-shattering.

You can feel every inch of his cock, every ridge and vein as he pushes inside you. He keeps a tight grip on your hair, panting into your mouth as he sinks to the hilt. He’s cursing under his breath the whole way, eyes flicking from yours down to where your bodies are joined and back up again.

“Wanted you for so fuckin’ long,” he breathes out, starting to roll his hips, giving you slow thrusts that only make the ache in you bubble further. Your own hands find his ribs, nails scratching over bare skin and scars. He feels so good. “So fuckin’ long, girlie. You don’t even know. You don’t even—”

His next thrust is harder, the slap of skin on skin echoing through the small space, and you both freeze. There’s no such thing as privacy out here anymore, and you don’t want to wake Ellie. But Joel keeps talking, babbling almost, the words grunted.

You bite your lip, and clamp one hand over his mouth.

His eyes flare for a moment, but you’re careful to leave his nose unblocked, his hot breath pouring over your knuckles. He’s still talking, but the words are muffled now, caught against your palm. His teeth nip, but you don’t care. The pace slows slightly, his grip on your hip tighter as he drives his cock into you. Your eyes want to roll back, but you do your best to keep them trained on Joel’s face.

You just wanna see him fall apart.

It doesn’t take long, his orgasm rumbling through his body. He pulls out of you at the last second, thrusts his cock into the spot where your thigh meets your hip, paints your body with his pleasure. Something feral in you wishes he’d cum inside, had covered your insides with him, but you know that’s not practical. It’s not smart.

Once his breathing has returned to normal, you let go, your hand dropping from his mouth, fingers glancing over his lip before it drops back to his side. Before you can make a move, he shoves two fingers deep in your cunt, curling them against something that makes your eyes roll back and you collapse against him, your pleasure cresting high, something akin to relief flooding through you.

“Didn’t think I was gonna leave you hangin’, did ya?” he growls in your ear. A high-pitched moan falls out of you, and Joel rips your head back, covering your mouth with his so he can swallow down your noises. “Good girl,” he says into you as the pleasure rips through you, your limbs electric and static and your whole body going weightless. “Good fuckin’ girl.”

Both back down on solid ground, something has changed. You know it. You can see it. His gaze isn’t as hard as he finds something to clean his cum from your leg. He kisses you as he helps your sweater back up your arms, pinches the zipper and drags it up, leans in to peck your collarbone before it’s covered by the fabric. You help each other get dressed, dipping a hand down the back of his boxers to squeeze his ass before you yank on his belt buckle. And once you’re both fully clothed, Joel grabs your face, pinching your chin between his thumb and forefinger, and kisses you slow.

Slow, slow, slow. The complete opposite of the kiss by the fire, of the second one that had sparked your wild fuck. It takes you aback, your body curving into his when his other palm settles in the small of your back and pushes you towards him.

Bill is still sitting watch by the fire when you emerge from the bathroom, and Ellie is still dead asleep, thankfully.

“We should actually get some shut-eye,” Joel mumbles, and you just nod, the weight of the day and the exertion catching up with you. “C’mon.”

You lay out on the blanket next to Ellie, putting yourself between her and Joel as he lies beside you. He fights with a blanket; you’re expecting him to drape it over you — and he does — but you’re not expecting him to slide close to you beneath it, fitting himself against your back.

“I’m gonna leave in the morning,” you whisper after a few minutes, and Joel goes stock-still behind you.

“What?”

“This was just for tonight,” you say, and slowly turn to face him. “You said so yourself.”

His arm is slung over your hips, and his fingers curl in the back of your sweater, like he’s trying to keep you in place. Something in his face flickers, and Ellie’s words from earlier echo in your mind. Like he thinks you’re gonna disappear or something. “I know what I said,” he murmurs, but says nothing further.

“Joel,” you whisper, stretching up until your lips just brush against his. His arm moves up, hand cups your cheek again. “Ask me to stay. Say it.”

“I can’t—” he starts, but cuts himself off, nose dragging along yours as he heaves a breath. “Stay, girlie. Please. Stay with me.”

You just nod.

—————

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myheelsdontmatchmysweatpants · 3 years ago

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A/N: I would like to preface this by letting everyone know that I am in no way knowledgeable about actual science things. That being said I am amazed that in a random draw I actually managed to get a prompt that had to do with flowers lol. This is my contribution to the BakuHarem Collab! Please take a second to check out the other contributions here!

Warning: bad science, no protection, swearing, overs!mulation, accidental exhibti0som, intoxicated smut? idk sex pollen is a drug i guess.....

W/C: 3.5k

“Bakugou, dude. We should not-”

“Shut up Kirishima!” Bakugou walks through the sterile hallways checking every corner for signs of other people. “That bitch took my top spot with some bullshit flowers?!” He finally gets to the lab that was granted to you for your research. After winning first place, stealing first place in the UA university science expo. He walks into the observing lobby, looking through the large window to make sure you weren’t working in the lab after hours.

“Just keep quiet and listen for any one coming this way.” He walks over to the security door and holds his key card up to it, the light on the scanner turns green and he hears the dead bolt slide open.

Kirishima is lingering behind him, hovering in the doorway. He turns to Bakugou to talk him out of this again but his friend has already entered the lab. “Ahh geez.” He didn’t even wear any safety gear.

As the door clicks shut behind him, Bakugou stops to examine the lab. Several different species of flowers in full bloom behind temperature controlled enclosures. Some of them are recognizable; lavender, chamomile, and jasmine. “I thought it would smell like the perfume department, this fuckin place smells like heaven.” Guess it wasn’t a new shampoo she was using then.

He walks through the aisles turning his head this way and that, trying to find something, anything that he can fuck up without it being overtly obvious. He gets to the back corner of the lab and sees a piece of familiar equipment. “Perfect.”

*****

“He said WHAT?!”

Your roommate flinches at your reaction to her news. “He told Professor Aizawa that your ‘Viagra flowers’ are a joke to the science department and they should ‘wither and die’.”

You’re fuming. That fuck tard Bakugou, mister my shit don’t stink is ridiculing my research? “All that man knows is how to blow shit up! Just cause I beat him in the expo this year, he thinks my research is a joke?!” You stand up from the couch, pacing in front of it and you can’t decide whether to scream or cry. “Why did I ever like that twat?”

Cause he has wide shoulders, big hands and scarlet eyes that -

“Oh for the love of god shut up.” Screw your inner thoughts.

Ochako watches you pace, worrying in her eyes when yours line with silver and your neck flushes bright red. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you that.”

You stop moving and look at her, guilt flooding through you as she slumps forward. “Don’t apologize, I was talkin to myself babe.” She nods her head weakly and you stand up straight “I’m gonna go.” You walk to the door grabbing your coat and key card.

“W-where are you going?” Ochako follows you to the door and grabs your wrist gently. You turn to her and smile, she was always so sweet but you knew that if shit went down she would be right beside you, kicking ass.

“I need to blow off some steam, so I��m gonna go check on my ‘Viagra flowers’.” She huffs a laugh and let's go.

“Alright, don’t stay too late.”

You nod, put on your shoes and leave the dorm. It’s a bit of a walk to the building the lab is in and hopefully the cool breeze will calm your mind.

*****

As you walk into the building you are grateful that your professor is more of a night owl than most students. Considering how many naps he takes during lectures it is no wonder he can’t sleep at night. You contemplate going to his office to say hi but think better of it.

Don’t wanna end up venting about Bakugou to my professor of all people.

You walk down the hallway and notice the door to your lab is cracked. Not unusual, a lot of students from your class have been coming and going to see the different species of flowers and plants you are growing. Assuming someone didn’t shut the door behind them you take your phone out of your pocket to check the time. Out of the corner of your vision a quick flash of red and you walk right into Kirishima, Bakugou’s friend and one of your classmates.

“Hey! How- how's it goin?”

You take a step back, rubbing your nose from face planting into his giant chest. Does this guy eat boulders for breakfast? “Hey Kiri! Just gonna do some late night tests! You checkin out my garden?”

“Yeah! Flowers are pretty.” He laughs, it’s high pitched and obviously forced.

You take in his nervous appearance, the fact that he is still standing in front of the door and your mood sours.

“Where is he?”

Kirishima looks like he is gonna try and stall but one look at the fury in your eyes and his head hangs down. “He’s in the lab,” you rush past him and punch in the code to open the door. “I tried to talk him out of it!”

The door clicks shut and the spiky blonde huffs in annoyance somewhere in the back of the lab.

“I told you shitty hair, if you’re gonna keep a look out you have to stand outside.”

You clear your throat and his head shoots up. You walk over to him, taking note of all of the plants and equipment, taking note of anything that looks different. As you get closer to him you notice that he smells particularly good tonight.

Keep it in your pants idiot

“Really Bakugou?” You stop a few steps away from him, noticing the various disassembled parts on the counter top behind him. “What were you gonna do, break my extraction equipment and make it look like a malfunction? Are you a B-Movie villain?”

He stands up and you are reminded of how small you feel next to him, wide shoulders, arms barely fitting the t-shirt he was wearing, strong chest that tapers to a toned waist. He laughs and you look at his face. What I wouldn’t give to just lick from your navel to your neck.

“A B-Movie villain huh? That’s rich coming from the fanfiction cliché scientist.” He crosses his arms, your eyes quickly dart to the sight of his biceps flexing with the movement then back at him.

“Fanfiction cliché? What the actual fuck are you talking about?” You take another step towards him, softly inhaling his scent. Why does he smell so good?

He laughs at you again, the sound caresses your skin and you realize your feeling very, very hot. You drag your fingers through your hair, your eyes zeroing in on a bead of sweat running down the side of his face. When you lick your lips and shift to take another step closer a small part of your brain connects the dots. “What. Did. You. Do?”

Bakugou looks at you, noticing your flushed cheeks and eyes that show you aren’t quite your normal smart and sexy self. Reaching behind himself you hear the unmistakable sound of clinking glass, he grabs a beaker, an open beaker. “Just grabbed this from your equipment, I know how long it takes to extract this stuff. Would suck if it were to suddenly go missing.”

“You idiot! Do you know how potent it is in that form?!” You reach for it but he pulls the beaker out of your reach. “Why do you think I keep it enclosed? You have to close it up now!”

“Why should I?”

Honestly how stupid can this guy get?!

“Put it back in the enclosure first and I’ll explain it to you!” Your breathing is getting heavy, the closer you get to Bakugou the hotter your body feels. You lunge for him again and trip, he hurries to put the beaker on the table behind him and catch you. Put off balance from the position you both crash to the floor with him underneath you. Sighing in frustration you lift yourself up only to bump your head on the table, knocking over the beaker and spilling the extract over you both.

“Shit!” You scramble off of him and run to the door, pressing the exposure button and effectively locking it. You turn to Bakugou and back up trying your best to keep your distance. “Stay on that side of the room, if we’re far enough apart the effects won’t be as bad.”

“What are the effects?” The question is spoken so calmly that you almost convince yourself he didn’t speak at all.

“What are the fucking side effects!?” His shirt is soaked, sticking to his tanned skin. The outline of his chiseled body makes your mouth go dry. You look back at his face, his mouth twisted in frustration at your silence but no less attractive. The sharp angle of his jawline, pink lips slightly chapped, aristocratic nose, scarlet eyes that-

“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” Shaking your head to clear some of the fog in your brain, you focus on him again.

“It’s an aphrodisiac so obviously it enhances sexual desire.”

“Yeah-yeah, sex pollen I get it. But what else?” he rings out the bottom of his shirt, lifting it slightly and you avert your eyes.

“It is not sex pollen, I don’t even use the pollen of the plant.” the last part coming out in a mumble. “The aphrodisiac only works on people who are consenting adults that are attracted to each other.” You clear your throat.

Bakugou freezes for a moment and looks up at you, examining you. The flushed skin, short breaths, and how you keep as much distance between the two of you as the small lab provides.

“So why are you so far away then?” The smirk on his face is sinful as all hell.

Cheeky bastard.

“Surely I don’t have to spell it out for you.” Resisting the urge to turn your face away from him like a pouty child..

“HA!” The smug look on his face momentarily lifts the cloud of lust and replaces it with anger. “Of course you’re attracted to me, who wouldn’t be?”

“Well, aren't you a cocky bastard?” Hoping you're not about to embarrass yourself you take a chance and muster up some courage. Slowly walking up to him you notice that his forehead is glistening with sweat, his breathing heavy, ears and back of his neck flushed with pink. “Tell me, Katsuki. How are you feeling?”

A few steps and you can see his hands balled up in white knuckled fists, a few more his jaw clench and unclench. Once you are only an arms length away you can see him swallow harshly, Adam's apple bobbing, nostrils flaring. You push your breasts against his toned chest, the light friction causing a moan to escape your mouth, the sound going straight to his cock.

“I’m - I’m fine.” Bakugou clears his throat, the sound of his first name from your lips sweeter than it should be.

“Lookin a little flushed, you feeling hot?”

He doesn’t answer, his attention captured by the closeness of your body, your lips, the tops of your breasts peeking out of the v neck top you’re wearing.. He stops breathing when your tongue flicks out to lick your bottom lip.

“Cat got your tongue?”

On impulse his hands move to rest on your hips, eyes never leaving your lips. “What was the question again?”

“How. Are. You. Feeling.” you walk your fingers up his chest with each word before pulling his head down so you can whisper in his ear, the anger fading fast. “Katsuki.” You hear him growl, the sound reverberating through your core, then you're being picked up.

“I’m gonna ruin you.” Bakugou crashes his lips to yours, pressing you up against one of the walls and bracing you with one hand so that the other can wrap around your throat. “Fuck, you drive me crazy.” He bites your lip, licking it to soothe the hurt. “Smart, funny, sexy, beautiful.”

You whine at the words and grind against the bulge in his pants, your pussy throbbing with need. “Need to feel you touch me Bakugou.” He stops moving and you shift to try and grind against him again but he holds you tight, slightly squeezing the sides of your neck.

“What happened to calling me by my first name, baby girl?” Loosening his hand and crouching down as if to put you down you sputter out “Kat-Katsuki Please touch me.”

The feral grin on his face has your pussy drooling and you all but sigh in relief when he stands up straight and slips a hand under your shirt, cupping one of your breasts. “Oh god yes.”

“You’re so soft baby,” he pulls one of the cups down and rolls your nipple in between his fingers. “Take off your shirt, wanna see those pretty tits.”

Katsuki keeps playing with your nipple when you rip your shirt off, making short work of your bra and tossing it. As soon as the other nipple is in view he dives down to suckle it, his mouth hot. You throw your head back, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and pushing your chest out to give him better access.

He is merciless in his teasing, alternating between breasts, making sure to suck each nipple till they are both hard peaks. Kissing the top of your soft globes, your collarbone and neck, everywhere his mouth goes is left with a mark in varying shades of red and purple.

You grow impatient with him, needing to make him feel as good wanting to feel him with your hands, mouth, teeth.

“Wanna feel you too Katsuki.” you whine as he pinches one nipple while nibbling the other one. When you pull on his hair a little he groans but lifts his head, pulling both nipples with him before letting them go.

“What do ya wanna feel, baby girl?”

With all your inhibitions throw out the window you lean down and whisper in his ear. “Wanna feel you fuck me.”

You pull away and he quickly sets you down, you’re about to object when he takes his shirt off in one smooth motion then starts unbuttoning his jeans. You rush to follow, unzipping your pants and pulling them down, before you can pull down your panties he grabs your hand stopping you. “Leave ‘m on.”

Katsuki picks you up again before you can get a good look at his cock, but when it's pressed against you there is no need to see it. “Fuck you’re huge.”

He smirks at you, smug pride in his eyes. “Glad you approve.” Reaching a hand down he pulls your panties to the side and runs his fingers through your wet folds. “This all for me?” bringing his fingers up to show you the slick dripping down them he puts them in his mouth and sucks. “Gonna have to enjoy that tasty treat later.”

Your body is burning up, breathing is heavy as you both watch him drag his cock along your wet slit before pushing in. Your moans echo in the lab and neither one of you cares as Katsuki's cock drags against your inner walls until bottoming out. Right now is not the time for slow strokes, not with the aphrodisiac flowing through both of your bodies, so he starts a pace that has your ass slapping against his thighs.

“C-cumming!” You scream out before your body bows in on itself and you're creaming around his cock.

“Already?” a sideways grin on his face Katsuki starts moving you up and down in time with his thrusts, his cock reaching that much deeper. “Gonna cum for me again? Come on baby, wanna feel you milk my cock.”

Your mind is going blank, the only thing running through it is Katsuki. “Please don’t stop,” you dig your nails into his shoulders. “M Gonna cum again.” His thrusts go shallow and the head of his cock drags against your walls, hitting all the right spots.

You’re repeating his name endlessly, the only word that is in your mind then you’re cumming again. Your legs tense around his waist and your pussy clenches down hard enough that he has to stop moving or risk hurting you. He watches your face contorted in pleasure and starts thrusting as soon as he feels your orgasm subside.

“One more.”

Your head fuzzy, body limp from two orgasms. “I can’t!”

“Wrong,” Katsuki pulls out for a second, setting you on the floor and pushing on your back. You obediently bend forward grabbing the edge of the counter top and he wastes no time in rutting back into you. “You want me to stop?”

“NO”

“Then you got one more beautiful thing.” He sticks two fingers in his mouth, getting them wet then reaches around rubbing soft circles on your puffy clit. His other hand gripping your hip, before moving up and grabbing your shoulder using it as leverage to fuck into you harder.

“Come on, cum for me.”

You turn your head to the side trying your best to look in his eyes, yours tearing up at the overstimulation. “You cum too, fill me up Katsuki.”

“Oh fuck yeah.” Bending his knees he thrusts up into you and with the new angle, teasing circles being rubbed on your clit and the feral moans coming out of his mouth you cum one last time.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck

Katsuki cums after you, rope after rope of cum coating your fluttering walls.

You both stand there catching your breath. Katsuki pulls out and you whimper, “Oh don’t worry beautiful,” he picks you up again, walks over to a chair and sits down with you in his lap “not done with you yet.”

By the time you are spent both of you are exhausted and lost track of how many times either of you came. He helps you stand up, quickly pulling your panties back in place. “Don’t want you leakin.”

You giggle and pick up your clothes from the floor, he helps you get dressed and you both walk to the door. Making sure to check the air quality before leaving the lab you confirm that nothing is left in the air and unlock it. Before opening the door you turn to him opening your mouth to ask a question but he talks first.

“Let's go back to my room, yeah? I’ll help you clean up.” His voice rough from moaning and growling but you can see a small smile on his lips. Even though you know that the effects of the extract have worn off you can’t help but worry that he is still under their influence. Nodding your head you turn away from him again and open the door, walking into the lobby.

“I assume you're finished with the lab?”

You stop dead in your tracks, Katsuki bumping into you. “P-professor Aizawa?” Red hair peeks out behind him and Kirishima looks at you both with a nervous sharp toothed smile and red face. The fog of your memory clears and you vaguely remember hearing knocking on the window and door while you were… indisposed.

Katsuki steps in front of you, from the lack of red on his face or neck you know he isn’t nearly as mortified as you. “How long have you been standing there?”

The tired eyes of your teacher examine both of you. “Long enough.” He sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You are both to meet me in my office tomorrow morning.”

And just before you can’t get anymore embarrassed he walks out and says over his shoulder. “The labs aren’t sound proof, and these walls echo.”

@doinmybesthere @patchworkpuzzle @eyebagsbutglam @sugarspiceanddynamight

#bnharem collab #katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bnha katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #katsuki x y/n #katsuki x reader #katsuki x you #bakugo x y/n #bakugo katuski x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou x reader #bakugo mha #bakugo katsuki #bakugou x you #lilliths masterlist #lillith writes

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spunsugarmusings · 2 years ago

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“35MM: A Musical Exhibition” Starter Sentences (Part 2)

Part 2 of sentence starters from the musical 35MM: A Musical Exhibition. Change pronouns as necessary! TW for mentions of violence, murder, abuse, religion, and dying.

Leave Luanne

"Her arm's done broke, hung limp like yolk."

"Why don't you march out that door?"

"Ever since he got him laid off, his sanity just made off."

"He was never nice, but now he's cruel."

"If you walk out that door, his truck will be gunning for you."

"You got heart where you should've had brains."

"Someone's howling, screams like sighing with battered breath."

"Months of such conditions turn laymen to logicians."

"You got a life left to live, in a house hanging off the golden coast."

"You won't forget nor forgive."

"She drowned herself in the swamp in wild despair."

"He thinks he used to love her."

"Hell sent you back here for more, cause ain't no one ever loved you!"

"I'm here to settle a score."

"Praise be, amen!"

Mama Let Me In

"Mama, let me in!"

"Why do you hate me and call me a sin?"

"Don't shut me out!"

"Don't you hear me bang and shout?"

"Blessed be the baby who cries in the night."

Why Must We Tell Them Why

"Why must we tell them why?"

"Some require an explanation for why we make the things we make."

"Why excuse each deviation?"

"Think, and you'll miss it."

"Let's defy their forms and fixtures, not playing by their rules of thumb."

"Make something dumb; make them see where we're coming from."

"Who's to say what it ought to be?

Twisted Teeth

"I met my mister as I night-walked in the park."

"Love those twisted teeth."

"But I bet you're gentle."

"All of our friends say we look nearly like twins."

"Fill me up with your love."

"He fits in my family like I fit in his coven."

"They come into our bed, but they never escape."

"We suck them all dry."

"He's my mister forever, I'm forever his wife."

"Ain't no doors get locked, ain't no secrets get hid."

"I'd die for my mister."

"In truth, die I did."

Hemming and Hawing

"She wouldn't pull away like you did today."

"She wouldn't pitch a fit, wouldn't bitch a bit when I leave her alone with my friends."

"You're so not perfect, let me count the ways."

"I'm gonna leave you one of these days."

"Am I getting bored? I just wanna be adored?"

"Is it you? Is it me? Is it us?"

"I used to plan us out, used to have no doubt."

"We'd be married and happy for life!"

"We used to be perfect in so many ways."

"I don't wanna leave you, don't wanna lose you."

"Bring us back to our better days."

"I want the plans we were drawing to come true."

"I hate you, heart."

Cut You A Piece

"So of course they fell in love."

"Looking back, it was the right thing to say."

"I cut you a piece of me."

"Where you go I will go, too."

"I am now a part of you."

"His life was scattered, and soon was her ash."

"I lost my life when I lost you."

"When you love someone so much, to lose them is to never recover."

"You've given a part of your being to them, and when they go you can never have it back."

"Warming your hand in mine fills me with terror, that I will lose you today, or tomorrow, in two years, or seventy."

"When even the earth has numbered days, I can give you just one thing that stays."

"Cut me a piece of you."

"From now on, I'm half a soul."

"Without you, I can't be whole."

"Where you go, that's where I'll be."

"Oh, you are the start of me."

The Ballad of Sara Berry

"Down on your knees before the queen!"

"That girl had everything, 'til hiccup and hitch."

"Life is a prom."

"I know you won't disappoint me and mom."

"You thirst for blood from the roses in hand."

"She tossed her squad, her clique, her boyfriend behind."

"Her BFF's declared her socially dead."

"Why be so calm?"

"There's just no future for a princess at prom!"

"You spoil for sash and scepter, music to dance, as they crown you queen of High School Land!"

"There's seven reasons this crown's not good as got!"

"You got their blood on the roses in hand."

"At least in your head, you're queen of High School Land."

"Oh, pity the dead."

Finale

"Time stops by a photograph."

"It's not right, it's not wrong."

"It's what's inside."

"Hold!"

#starter sentences #rp meme #askbox meme #inbox meme #roleplay meme #rp memes #ask box meme #sentence starters #ask meme #starter prompt #35 mm a musical exhibition

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comfyswitcherblanketfort · 4 years ago

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Grunge-Metal Geralt

Hi, im fucking trash for the idea of Geralt being the front man for a Five Finger Death Punch type band and my brain wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. This music genre is my bread and butter and I think Geralt’s repressed but highly emotional ass would fit right in. Yes im using another Hozier song, no i dont wanna hear anything about it. I’m a basic bitch and ive made my peace with it

Warnings: i honestly have no idea, its a little horny, little emotional, but theres no actual character interaction?, its at a concert venue? idk yall.

_________________________

Jaskier was… out of his comfort zone.

It’s not that he didn’t like the grunge-metal music, he just hadn’t listened to much and he was not used to the energy. People were yelling and screaming and the opener hadn’t even come on yet. He didn’t feel unsafe, far from it. Several people had checked to see if he was okay, seeing as he was the only person in the entire arena wearing a sweater that wasn't ripped or faded to hell. It was just a far cry from the shows he was used to.

He played folky-blues. This was nothing like his shows.

When the lights went down the crowd was deafening, all moving as one to rush the front of the floor, not giving a single fuck about tickets.

The openers were exciting, and Jaskier was surprised by some of the concepts and messages behind the music. It wasn’t what he’d expected at all and he found himself searching them up on Spotify to listen later.

Then came The Witchers.

Eskel and Lambert made their energetic entrance, followed by Aiden calmly walking to his drums and sitting as if he were walking into a college class. But Geralt was nowhere in sight. The one person Jaskier had actually come to see.

He’d seen a video clip from a previous concert where they covered one of his songs, and he was praying they’d do it again. It was lovely in a haunting-almost-threatening way, and the expression in Geralt’s posture alone was enthralling. He had to see it live.

But Geralt was still absent as the band started to build a song. First Aiden with the beat, then Eskel’s bass, then Lambert with a melody on his electric guitar. It built and built and built to a fever pitch, taking the crowd with it. People were already jumping and screeching. Jaskier had to stand on his seat to see the stage clearly.

Geralt’s voice echoed through the venue, low and closer to a growl than singing, but he was still nowhere to be seen.

Jaskier thought he’d been prepared, but his whole body was covered in goosebumps. He briefly wondered if this was what his friends were feeling when they listened to ASMR.

Geralt remained hidden for the whole first verse, getting the crowd even more excited than Jaskier thought possible, only for the band to go completely silent for a whole measure. When the crowd's screams reached their absolute loudest, Geralt dropped from on top of one of the jumbotrons, landing on one of the horse-sized speakers before launching into the chorus.

Oh fuck, he was even more beautiful in person.

He was… well he was a beast of a man. Jaskier really didn’t have another word for the way his muscles bulged and how lithe and powerful he looked springing from the speaker to join his bandmates on the main stage. His thighs filled out his black, tattered jeans and there were clear faded spots where his muscles strained the fabric too often. The thin black tank he wore did nothing but pretend the man was semi-modest. It was so tight, the only thing left up to the imagination was tan lines and the color of his nipple piercings.

Jaskier was most entranced by his long, white, wavy hair falling past his shoulders. As the show continued and he started to sweat, a lot, it got curlier and curlier at the root. Jaskier wanted to give him a mask and some curl cream, but only after a, uhm, rough night of getting to know each other. He’d heard rumors about Geralt from hitting arenas not long after they’d left. He was quite sure they’d have a great time.

As he focused on the lyrics more and more, he was more inclined to want to wrap Geralt up in a hug and worship every part of him until he felt whole again.

Either he’d been shown the shitty side of the genre, or The Witchers were exceptions to the rule of content. Jaskier was almost moved to tears a few different times.

Finally, about an hour into Jaskier mindlessly feasting his eyes on the front man, Geralt leapt onto another speaker and sat down, breathing hard and grinning from ear to ear.

“You still with us?”

The unholy screech from the crowd left no doubt they were just as excited, if not more so, than when they’d arrived.

“Good! Good..” he trailed off, chuckling as he lowered the mic to take a breath, “We’re gonna slow it down for a minute,” he leaned forward and held the mic away as Eskel shouted something up at him to which he laughed and flipped him off.

“As I was saying, we’re gonna yearn for a minute or two and do a cover. Song by Jaskier called ‘Talk’.”

The crowd lost their shit again, various pride flags popping up throughout the stands.

Geralt chuckled and raised his combat boot, showing off the bi flag colored treads, earning another round of screams. If this is what the grunge-metal scene was like, Jaskier had been missing out his entire life. Sure his fans were sweet and supportive and loving when he’d come out. But this was electric and feral and completely addictive.

Lambert struck the opening chord to Jaskier’s song and the crowd settled to a gentle hum, setting the tone immediately, as if they all knew exactly what was coming.

Geralt closed his eyes as he tapped his thigh with one finger, keeping time before his rumbling baritone hit Jaskier like a freight train.

“I’d be the voice that urged Orpheus when her body was found…”

Jaskier could have collapsed right there. He knew he was staring like a lovesick idiot, but hell, everyone around him was too. When the chorus hit and Eskel came in with a heavy bass line he nearly fell off his chair. Geralt’s intensity raised with the addition of the backup but he didn’t move. He stayed seated, swaying slightly, with his eyes closed as he crooned out the words Jaskier had sobbed as he wrote, broken hearted and miserable.

It was surreal.

Sure he’d seen other covers. Sure they’d been lovely. But he wanted to listen to this and only this as he fell asleep for the rest of his life. He’d never play it again if he could only hear it one more time.

After the last verse Lambert launched into a guitar solo while Geralt jumped off the speaker and meandered to the center of the stage to slot his mic back in it’s stand. He gripped it like a lifeline when Lambert held one last note for as long as his instrument would allow and only started singing the last chorus when it was almost silent.

“I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things I would do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you

I won't deny I've got in my mind now all the things we could do

So I'll try to talk refined for fear that you find out how I'm imaginin' you”

His expression looked hopeless and utterly desperate as he crooned out the last two lines. He let his hair fall to cover his face and Jaskier could just barely hear his panting breath over the sound system as the crowd exploded. Geralt tipped his head back and took two deep breaths before straightening up and getting on with the show but Jaskier was stuck.

He was vaguely aware of someone taking a picture of him, but he really couldn’t care less. The fact that Geralt moved right on to a song called ‘Burn Motherfucker Burn’ didn’t matter either.

Jaskier jumped down from his arena seat, whipping out his phone and sending the band a tweet, because apparently that’s what musicians did now?

“Record it. Please. It’s either that or sing me to sleep every night. You choose.”

He stayed for the rest of the show and walked to his car in a haze. Before he backed out of his spot he checked his phone like always and his heart nearly stopped at the two top notifications.

One public reply: “Both? -G”

And one direct message: “If you’re still here and want to grab a drink, I’m just backstage.”

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foxxgirlvibes · 4 years ago

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He gets jealous of your friend

Characters: atsumu, sakusa, kuroo, tendou

Summary: your boyfriend feels a bit left out whenever your best friend comes into the picture

』 ATSUMU

Probably the most obvious about his jealousy

Feels like every time your bestie shows up he’s second place :(

Doesn’t even try to hide it he complains to your face

Your friend definitely amps up the affection to annoy him

Atsumu huffed loudly as your best friend arrived at the park. He turned his back to them ready to flop into your lap when suddenly you were standing and running away from the picnic blanket.

“Y/N!!!!”

“B/F/N!!!!” You fell into a fit of giggles as the two of you collided in a hug. Leading them to the blanket, you sat between them and your boyfriend.

“Why dontcha hug me like that doll?” Atsumu whined as he pulled you closer to him while glaring at your friend.

You turned to him, eyebrow raised, “we live together tsumu, I hug you all the time.” You offered him a bite of the cookie in your hand, “and you could hug me like that, yet you don’t.” He accepted your cookie, pout still etched on his face.

While you were distracted by your phone, b/f/n sent atsumu a smug smile and picked up a strawberry. They poked you on the thigh, “hey, y/n,” you looked up at them curiously, “the strawberries are so sweet, open your mouth and I’ll feed you this one.” Smiling you leaned over and let them feed you the strawberry.

Atsumu was glaring holes into their head, “jeez b/f/n, don’t ya got yer own s/o to feed huh?”

You and your best friend let out a laugh at his blatant jealousy. “See y/n, I told you he was jealous of me, you owe me $20” Rolling your eyes you took out your wallet, slapping the money in their hands.

Turning to your gawking boyfriend, you sighed, “couldn’t you at least be subtle about it.” He sputtered out nonsense, face turning red, you waved him off. “And you,” you glared at you friend who was still laughing, “feeding me is basically cheating, we both know that was gonna set him off”

Your boyfriend draped his chin on your shoulder, “doll yer not playin fair” he whined. “Why would ya play wit my emotions like that”

Running your hand over his cheek you placed a kiss on the top of his head, “it’s funny to watch because you know b/f/n and I are only friends.” You tilt his chin up to place a chaste kiss on his lips, “you’re the one I’m dating dummy, I love you”

The grin that you love so much returned to his face as he kissed you again, “I love ya too, even though yer mean.” You rolled your eyes and flicked his forehead, your best friend made gagging noises from their side of the blanket.

』 Sakusa

The hardest to tell he’s jealous

Doesn’t want you to know, he thinks it’s embarrassing

Gets upset when you ignore him for your bff

Literally will deny it to the day he dies

You had been texting your best friend for the past hour and a half. There was drama going on in your friend group and the two of you were going from the group chat to sharing your opinions with each other. Normally this wouldn’t have been an issue, but unlike most Friday nights, your boyfriend was home.

Sakusa was sitting on the bed next to you, he had been silent ever since you started tapping constantly at your phone. MSBY practice had been cancelled and he had been looking forward to spending the day with you. Which he technically was, but not in the way he wanted.

His eyes left the show he had put on as you let out a gasp and the tapping increased in speed. He wanted to lay on your lap and have you run your hand through his curls, but he couldn’t be certain you would stop texting to indulge him. He let out a soft sigh, “are you and b/f/n still going?” You nodded without looking up at him. His lips moved into a slight pout as he turned back to the tv, “oh.”

He startled as you let out a sudden string of giggles. Tilting your head up at him in what felt like the first time you showed him your screen, “look what b/f/n just said, they’re so funny I love them.”

He starred blankly at your screen, “yeah, they’re hilarious.” Lips pursed he pointedly looked away from you, to the tv. Sakusa was incredibly annoyed that you had ignored him for so long only to speak to him when complimenting your best friend.

You texted your friend you were gonna dip for a bit. Turn your phone off you looked at the grumpy man next to you. “Omi what’s got your boxers in a bunch?”

“Me and my boxers are just fine y/n.”

“Omg omi, your pants are on fire!!” You snickered as he gave you a deadpan state.

He rolled his eyes at you and crossed his arms, “there’s nothing wrong, go back to your texting.”

That’s when it clicked for you, he was jealous of the attention you were giving to your friend. Cooing lightly, you reached for him, pulling him down on top of you. “I’m sorry for ignoring you baby, there’s no need to be jealous.”

He huffed and pulled your hand towards his hair, snuggling into you as you began playing with it, “‘m not jealous, that’s a stupid suggestion.”

You smiled down at your boyfriend knowing that you were absolutely right.

』 Kuroo

Another obvious one, but not as whiney as Atsumu

Tries to impress you to get your attention

Will embarrass you with his attempts to prove he’s better

Your friend doesn’t know if they should be amused or embarrassed

You and Kuroo had been invited out to watch your best friend play a gig at your local bar. They’re band had landed they’re first performance and you had been excited to support them.

Running up to the stage, you waved eagerly at you friend. They smiled and and reached a hand down to pull you up on the stage. You gave a friendly greeting to the other band mates before giving your friend a bear hug.

“B/f/n I’m so happy for you!!! This is sooo cool.” At this point you were gushing and singing their praises. Your friend matched your enthusiasm walking you around the stage and explaining the set up.

Your boyfriend huffed from the bottom of the stage as you and your friend walked back over. He reached for your hand to help you off and pull you back towards him. “Congrats on the gig b/f/n, can I have my s/o back now?”

Rolling their eyes they turned to you, “hey, cheer extra loud when we play your song.” They smiled as you nodded eagerly. “There now you can take your precious s/o,” b/f/n gave Kuroo a smug smile before heading back to their band mates.

“You know if you wanted a song I can serenade you at karaoke when their set is over.”

Eyes widening you ignored his suggestion before pulling Kuroo over to the table that had been reserved for you. Sure you loved him, but he couldn’t sing for shit.

The performance was going great, then the music changed and you squealed recognizing it as your favourite. Kuroo glanced over at you as you grinned and waved up at b/f/n. What was so great about them? So what they were in a band, you played this song enough he knew all the words. If you wanted it sung to you he could do it.

And do it he did.

You looked up at your boyfriend as he stood from his seat, “babe what are you doing?” The only response he gave you was a lazy smile before he started belting out the lyrics to your favourite song, terribly off pitch and loudly.

B/f/n stifled a laugh at the scene as you glared daggers at them and your boyfriend. Kuroo kept singing his heart out as you face planted into the table, praying the lights were dim enough that no one would be able to see you. After what felt like an eternity the song finished and Kuroo sat back down next to you.

“See, wasn’t that better than whatever b/f/n had going on up there. I’ll sing for you whenever you want baby.” He slung his arm over you shoulder looking very pleased with himself.

You peaked out at him from your arms, “Who lied to you and told you that you were the next Micheal Jackson?” He whined in protest as you continued, “Out of all the ways to process your jealousy you do this.” Waving a quick goodbye to your friend, you dragged Kuroo out of the bar and headed home.

』 Tendou

Not vocal about it but you can see it in his body language

Would hate for you to think that he wants to control who you hang out with

Once you realize he’ll reluctantly admit to it but feels bad

Just needs some reassurance

Tendou sighed as he watched your story again. It was of you and your best friend at the club for their birthday, an outing which you had excitedly rambled to him about for the past few days. He knows that he shouldn’t be bothered, the two of you have been friends for longer than he’s known you. But that doesn’t help the pit in his stomach seeing you dancing on them.

The sinking feeling hasn’t left him since your best friend had arrived at the door and whisked you away with little more than a quick acknowledgment. The both of you in coordinating outfits, telling him not to wait up.

You love him, he knows that, yet his heart squeezes terribly at every new addition to your story. He shook the thought from his mind and turned his phone off, dropping his head into his hands. He was being ridiculous, if you wanted to date your best friend you wouldn’t have moved in with him.

As he wallowed in self doubt, he missed the sound of the door opening as you slipped into your apartment quietly, to ensure you wouldn’t wake him if he was asleep. You were shocked to see your boyfriend on the couch gripping his hair. “‘Tori?” you approach him carefully, “what happened sweetheart?”

He tensed suddenly before looking up at you with a shaky smile, “hi love, how was the club?” He reached out and grabbed your hands.

You fixed him with a stern look, “satori, you can’t lie to me.” Hands still intertwined, you reached up to cup his cheek, stroking it with your thumb. “What’s going on in that brain of yours?”

Sighing he closed his eyes and leaned into your hand. He was silent for a moment before speaking softly, “it’s stupid,” you shook your head and smiled up at him, giving him the confidence to continue, “I dunno... I just- felt kinda upset seeing you have so much fun with b/f/n. You guys are just friends and you love me, I know that, but you always just look so happy with them and I don’t know if I make you feel like that.”

You looked at him for a minute before peppering kisses on his face, “I love you both but I would rather eat dirt than date that idiot, we’re so close they’re like a sibling to me.” He gave you a watery smile as you continued, “and you can ask b/f/n yourself if you don’t believe me, but you make me so happy. You’re literally my favourite person ever.”

He tackled you onto the couch with a hug, “you’re my favourite person ever too y/n!!”

You laughed, running your hands through his hair, “you wanna cuddle and watch a movie?” He nodded enthusiastically as you handed him the remote, placing a kiss on his hair.

This is my first preference so hoping it’s okay. As someone who had an ex be jealous of my best friend I thought this would be fun to write.

Have a wonderful day!!!

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jaehyunfirstlove · 4 years ago

Text

let me love you down

You’re a former idol trainee turned fashion designer, called back by the company to dress one of their groups for their next comeback. You assume it’s for one of their girl groups, but you’re surprised to see it’s for one of their boy groups. That’s when you meet him again, the one who’d had a crush on you when you were both trainees, except now, he’s no longer the cute boy with dimples. He’s a man now, and he’s determined to prove it to you.

Pairing: idol!jaehyun x noona!reader

Genre: smut (18+ only)

Warnings: noona kink (reader is a few years older than Jaehyun), nipple play, fingering, sex in front of a mirror, unprotected sex, rough sex, oral sex (m. receiving), dirty talk, swearing

Word count: 3.5k

Taglist: @jaehyunnie77 @mrg-jjh (send me a message if you want to be tagged in future fics)

A/N: purely self-indulgent haha

You walked the halls of the familiar building, memories of your trainee days coming back to you, both pleasant and not so pleasant. You smiled as you passed the practice rooms, remembering the endless hours of dancing you’d done in them, as well as the hours of sitting around and gossiping with the other trainees. You didn’t miss the grueling regimen, but you did miss the friendships you’d made along the way.

“Y/N!” One of those trainee friends, now turned idol, ran towards you now with arms outstretched.

“Irene!” you squealed, as you both wrapped your arms around each other for a tight hug.

“I heard you were coming today! It’s so nice to see you!” Irene wrapped an arm around your waist, looking you up and down, “and you look fantastic!”

You beamed at her praise, twirling around so she could see your outfit for the day, which you had designed.

“So, is it your group I’m dressing for the comeback?” you asked, thinking it made the most sense, as your style fit their concept the best.

“Nope,” Irene shrugged, “you’re in there.” She pointed towards a meeting room at the end of the hall.

“Oh, okay.” You were confused, but hugged Irene goodbye and promised to keep in touch. When you opened the door to the meeting room you were surprised to see the members of one of the company’s boy groups, along with their managers.

The concept was explained to you and you understood why they had called you in, and you were excited to work on something new, not having designed menswear before. As you listened to the pitch and took notes, you couldn’t help but feel a certain pair of eyes on you much more than the others. You remembered training with most of them, but they had been a whole lot younger back then, and you, being one of the older trainees, didn’t spend too much time around them. Out of curiosity you finally turned to them, studying their faces, until you came to the one who had been giving you looks.

He held your gaze for a moment, smiling, before he turned away shyly. You remembered him for sure, you could never forget those dimples. He had been the one that all the girls said had a crush on you, and teased you mercilessly about it. You smiled at the memory, and at the fact he had grown up well, the pudgy face of early adolescence transformed into the sharp cheekbones and jawline that made him the well-earned visual of his group.

With the meeting over each member came up to you and re-introduced themselves, asking you if you remembered them, talking all at once, bringing up stories and memories, some you remembered, some you didn't. Jaehyun, the one who’d had a crush on you back then, stood back a bit from the other members, just watching you with a shy smile on his face.

“And you remember Jaehyun, don’t you, noona?” Johnny suddenly said, pushing Jaehyun forward so he stood right in front of you. The other members snickered, apparently his little crush was well known amongst them as well.

“Of course,” you said, smiling at him, “it’s nice to see you again, Jaehyun.”

Flustered, he didn’t know whether to bow or shake your hand, so he settled on both, bending slightly towards you with his hand outstretched. You took his hand and shook it, noticing how cold and clammy it was. His ears were also a bright red, and he was aware of it, once you took your hand away he couldn’t help but touch them nervously with his hand.

“It’s nice to see you too, noona,” he said, and you couldn’t help but notice how much deeper his voice had gotten. He really did grow up well, you thought.

“I’m really looking forward to working with all of you,” you addressed them all, wanting to break the awkward atmosphere that had settled. There was a chorus of cheers, the members clearly happy about working with you as well. “I am going to need a couple of you to come by my studio tomorrow to do an initial fitting though.”

As the leader it was Taeyong’s job to assign people, so he looked around at each member. You noticed that Jaehyun looked at him hopefully. “Um, I think Haechan should be available, and…” he looked around again, and Jaehyun actually stepped up to him with his hand raised, “okay, Jaehyun can go too.” He chuckled, giving in.

“Okay thanks, I’ll see you two tomorrow,” you pointed at the two members who would be joining you the next day. Haechan smirked, side-eyeing Jaehyun, who just smiled widely at you.

---

The next day you got a text from Haechan saying that he wasn’t feeling too well so he couldn't make it to the fitting and that he was sorry, and he hoped that just having Jaehyun would be enough. You texted back saying it was fine, and that you hoped he would feel better.

You busied yourself around the studio while you waited, laying out the garments you were anxious for them to try. You had hoped for at least two members to get a better idea of sizing, but you’d have to make do with just one. You found it sweet that Jaehyun had clearly wanted to volunteer, and you were looking forward to catching up with him to see how he liked the idol life. Halfway through your idol training you had decided it wasn’t for you and had quit, deciding instead to go into fashion design. You didn’t regret your decision at all, loving your work, and watching idols perform onstage was enough for you, content that you hadn’t pursued that life. You had great respect for the trainees who’d made it, remembering how difficult it had been for you, and working with them again was definitely a treat.

In the middle of your reminiscence, Jaehyun walked into your studio. You almost didn’t recognize him, thinking he was a model from one of your other projects. He was dressed casually, in a black t-shirt and jeans, barefaced, his black hair tinted with streaks of blue, but he still exuded such a presence that you were taken aback.

“Oh, Jaehyun,” you said, startled slightly as he approached you.

“Noona,” he bowed gracefully, then smiled. There was an air about him that almost made him seem regal, like a prince undercover, and there were no traces of the shyness he’d exhibited the day before.

You couldn’t help but look him up and down, the change in his demeanor putting him in a whole new light. Your business brain observed the broadness of his shoulders, and how shirts and jackets would hang off them perfectly, how his narrow waist would show off the cut of a tailored coat, and how the proportions of his long legs and solidly built torso would make the perfect canvas for any creation you could come up with.

He saw you staring and smiled widely, his dimples getting deeper while his eyes crinkled ever so cutely. You remembered liking his face when he was younger, but the cuteness had morphed into a drop-dead gorgeousness that you couldn’t help but acknowledge. And the way he looked at you now, far from the puppy-dog eyes of youth, it was more intense, but somehow still playful.

“Um, shall we get started?” you cleared your throat, trying to clear your brain of the mixed emotions you were feeling, knowing you had a job to do.

You brought him over to a rack of clothes in front of a full-length mirror, showing him the different ideas you had for the comeback. He nodded now and then, giving you feedback when you asked and offering his own opinions here and there. You found he was very knowledgeable when it came to fashion and fabrics, and he had very firm opinions on what he liked and what he didn’t like. You appreciated that because it made your job so much easier, now you had a pretty good idea of what you wanted to do.

“Wow, that’s great!” you said, when he had finished giving you his detailed opinion on one of the outfits. “Why don’t you try it on, and then we can tweak any parts that you’re not happy with.” You handed him the outfit and pointed him towards a changing room in the back of the studio.

You sat on the sofa waiting for him to come out, and when he did your breath caught in your throat at the sight of him. He’d foregone wearing a shirt underneath the jacket, and had zipped it only halfway, so a good part of his chest was showing. The leather pants were skintight, straining against his muscular thighs, and showing too much of what was between his legs that you had to look away. He came and stood in front of you, so that you were eye level with his crotch.

“What do you think, noona?” he asked nonchalantly, as if he wasn’t currently a walking thirst trap.

“Um,” you cleared your throat, standing up quickly so that his crotch wasn’t in your view, “looks great!” you fiddled with the fabric, adjusting here and there, but you found that doing that made you touch him far too much. Brushes of your hands against his body, and you could feel the firmness even through the fabric. You were also so close to him that you could feel him breathing, feel the rise and fall of his chest under your hands. The worst part, however, was that you could smell him, a scent so intoxicating that it made your head spin.

He watched you the entire time, not saying a word, his eyes following your movements. You started to get nervous under his stare, with the intense way he was looking at you, and you fumbled with the zipper of the jacket trying to zip it up further to cover him up and salvage some of your sanity. Close to the top, it got stuck, probably because your hand was shaking and you couldn’t do it smoothly. You tried to unstick it, but it wouldn’t budge.

“Here, let me try,” Jaehyun offered, but it was stuck fast and wouldn’t move.

“We’ll have to cut you out of it, it’s just a sample so no big deal,” you said, turning around to get some fabric scissors to cut with. Just then there was a loud tearing sound echoing in the room, and you turned around in shock to see Jaehyun had ripped the jacket open, his chest now fully exposed, nipples perking from the coolness of the air conditioning.

“I got it,” he said cockily, a smirk forming on his lips as he watched your reaction.

Your jaw was probably on the floor, eyes bulging out of your sockets. Your hands reached towards him, whether to cover him up or touch his chest you really couldn’t tell. Your reaction seemed to embolden him though, because he stepped forward towards you, right into your personal space.

“Do you like what you see, noona?” he asked, his voice low but teasing.

You were now eye level with his chest, and you had to admit, you really liked what you were seeing.

“I know I had a little crush on you when I was younger,” he continued, his voice as sweet as honey, “but I’m older now,” he leaned even closer to you, his breath hot against your ear as he whispered, “bigger too.”

Everything he was saying and doing was going straight to your core, and your hands flew up and fisted into his torn jacket. He grabbed your hips and spun you around so that you were both facing the mirror.

“Do you like me, noona?” he asked sweetly, pulling your hair to one side so he could have access to your neck. You angled your head to open up more of your neck to him, falling hopelessly under his spell.

“Yes,” you breathed, and he didn’t quite kiss you yet, just his lips hovering over your skin. You could feel goosebumps forming as you watched him in the mirror, teasing you.

“Would you like it if I kissed you?” he said, breath hot against your neck.

“Yes,” you nodded, watching in breathless anticipation as he leaned further in. Just before his lips connected with your skin he locked eyes with you in the mirror and smirked.

Your knees went weak as he sucked harshly on your skin, there were no tentative or tender kisses, just all out sucking, teeth grazing, definitely leaving marks that you’d have to hide. His hands gripped your hips, holding you in place, and soon enough you could feel his hard bulge pressing against your ass.

You tried not to moan out loud, but then his hands started to roam, one of them moving up under your shirt, up your stomach, over your bra. He groaned when he felt only the flimsy lace separating his fingers from your perked nipple. He pinched it, and you couldn’t suppress the whimper that escaped your lips.

“Oh fuck, noona,” he groaned into your shoulder, “I knew you would sound sexy.”

While you were too busy basking in the pleasure of his fingers pinching your nipples, you barely noticed that his other hand had moved down, undoing your jeans and slipping over the matching lace of your panties. You inhaled sharply as he cupped your pussy, gripping it almost possessively.

“Is this okay, noona?” he asked, and you could hear him breathing heavily.

“Yessss,” you breathed out, the word elongating because now he was tearing your shirt off and unhooking your bra, throwing the garments to a corner of the room. Your upper half was now bare to him, and he looked at you in the mirror, eyes hungry with lust.

“Fuck, you’re more beautiful than I ever remembered,” he said, awe in his voice, before he went back to pinching your nipples. He watched you in the mirror as you whimpered, tweaking and pinching and pulling lightly, and the louder you got the harder he did it.

“You like that, don’t you, noona?” His voice sweet like honey again. He pulled the hand out that was cupping your pussy and yanked your jeans and underwear down, so that now you were completely bare to him.

“So fucking sexy,” he groaned, pressing his obvious erection even harder against your ass. He was still fully clothed and you were completely naked, and for some reason that turned you on even more. You were sure you were dripping wet for him and sure enough, when you looked in the mirror you could see your arousal glistening on the insides of your thighs. This observation didn’t escape him either, his hand slipping between your legs, middle finger rubbing the wetness along your slit.

“So fucking wet for me,” he groaned right into your ear, and you moaned even louder, throwing your head back against his shoulder as his finger made a mess of you.

“Do you like this, noona?” he whispered, slipping two fingers inside you. You arched your back as his fingers penetrated you, a long drawn out moan the only answer you could manage to his question. “Does it feel good?” he asked, thrusting his fingers deeper inside of you. You could only nod vigorously, your limbs turning to jelly as the pleasure coursed through your body. You could feel the knot in the pit of your stomach starting to form, and you started panting as it crept up on you.

“Are you close, noona?” he breathed into your ear, picking up the pace, ramming his fingers so hard into you that you couldn’t help but cry out, clinging onto his arm as the knot in your stomach snapped, and you came, your pussy clenching around his fingers.

“So fucking hot,” he murmured, pulling his fingers out of you. He gave you a moment of reprieve, letting you rest for a moment against his chest as he unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock. You watched his face in the mirror as he rubbed the tip of it against your wet folds, his lips pursed with concentration, his eyes dark and hooded. Once again he looked up and locked eyes with you in the mirror, a sexy smirk forming on his face before he rammed his cock into your pussy from behind.

You almost fell forward from the force of his thrust but he caught you, arms around your middle as he fucked into you. There was no gentleness in his movements, just power and raw strength, and that aroused you so much you thought you would pass out. You held onto his arms for dear life as he pounded ruthlessly into you, your throat already getting hoarse from the needy whines and whimpers that you couldn’t hold back.

“You like it, noona?” he growled into your ear, “You like my cock?”

“Fuck, yes!” you screamed, your eyes glazing over as the pleasure once again spread throughout your body.

“You look so good with my cock buried inside you,” he whispered, “look at how your pretty pussy swallows my cock.” He spread your thighs apart so you could see in the mirror, and you were mesmerized by the way his cock disappeared into your pussy. Suddenly he lifted you up by your thighs like you weighed nothing, and bounced you on his cock, opening up your legs even further for a better view.

“That’s better,” he said, pleased at how much more he could see now.

You looked at yourself in the mirror and you were a mess. Your hair was all over the place, your mascara was smudged, your lipstick smeared. Your jaw was slack and your eyes were glassy, you couldn’t believe how fucked out you looked. It only served to spur Jaehyun on.

“Fuck, you look so hot bouncing on my cock,” he said, voice raspy, gripping your thighs so hard you were sure you’d have an imprint of his fingers there. The way he was manhandling you, the filthy things coming from his mouth, all served to bring you to your second orgasm of the day, clenching hard around him.

“That’s it, noona, come for me, come all over my cock,” he growled, breath coming in short gasps, signalling that he was close, “you’re so fucking sexy when you come.”

You screamed when you came, his thrusts so hard and deep you could swear you felt him in your guts.

“I’m gonna come, noona,” he said through gritted teeth, and at that moment you had the overwhelming urge to taste him.

“In my mouth,” you panted, and he obliged, pulling you off him and setting you down on your feet. You were glad you didn’t have to stand, your legs wobbly as you knelt down in front of him. You couldn’t help but notice how beautiful his cock was, red and angry and glistening with your juices, and you took it into your mouth hungrily.

“Oh fuck, noona!” he cried out, his hands threading through your hair. He was watching you bob on his cock in the mirror, trying to hold out because you looked so hot doing it.

“That’s it, noona,” he encouraged, “your mouth feels so good,” he threw his head back, concentrating, but he slipped momentarily and rammed his cock down your throat. You gagged for a second, but the feeling actually turned you on, and you tried to take more of him into your mouth as you could.

“Oh shit, noona,” he moaned, “you like that, don’t you?”

You looked up at him and nodded, and the look in his eyes was almost feral. He took a hold of your head then, and started to fuck your throat, once again sparing you no mercy. He was rough on you and you loved it, pulling at your hair just hard enough that the pain mixed with the pleasure, and you could feel the wetness once again pooling between your legs. Your throat constricting around his cock triggered his orgasm, and he groaned loudly as his warm cum spilled down your throat. You took it all, swallowing every drop, and when he pulled out you swiped your tongue along the tip.

“Holy fucking shit, noona,” he swore, his eyes wide with awe as he looked down at you. He tried to keep up his cocky demeanor, but traces of the shyness from the day before were there too, and you couldn’t help but smile. He helped you stand up and gathered you into his arms, smiling somewhat shyly at you. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice soft.

“Yes, very much okay.” You answered, although you knew you’d have marks on your neck and imprints on your thighs that you’d have to answer for. Either way it was worth it, as you finally discovered what that boy with the dimples was all about.

#jaehyun imagines #jaehyun x reader #jaehyun smut #nct imagines #nct smut

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