#i think because it's so rare as a queer person to be told 'yes this is real and you are not deluded'

[blinketyblank]

THANK YOU SO MUCH JAMES LANCE.

[olderthannetfic]

I have really mixed feelings about the small proportion of F/F fiction (original or fanfic), because yeah sure, people have their desires, they should write what they want, I get it. It all works out when I hear it from person to person. But somehow the logic only ever applies in one direction? "There are more male protagonists because men only care about male characters! Women also mostly care about male characters, because that's the majority of characters they get!" And then somehow we also yet kvetch when men write female characters (because it's incorrectly or something, nevermind if women are writing male characters correctly). Why don't we expect gay men to feel compelled only by femslash for the same reasons (but gender swapped) as the lesbian slashers/fujoshi? All of those very rational justifications are applied selectively, "for me for not for thee," and it all only leads to "idk I just don't wanna write femslash", for Reasons. Do we get to call them microaggressions yet?

--

No, you don't get to call other people's fantasy life a microaggression.

That is indeed "for me but not for thee" in the sense that you get to want what you want but other people aren't supposed to follow their id.

Do you also police gay men who spend too much time on drag and obsessing over female divas? That's an actual real world behavior that's somewhat equivalent. It frequently goes unchallenged, at least by progressives, because men are allowed to do whatever they want with chick stuff, while women are "stealing" if they dare to stray into dude stuff.

(God, I've seen so much more policing of drag kings being ~problematic~ for acting out stereotypical gender than policing of drag queens for the same. It's nuts!)

Fujoshi are often queer, but it's absurd to think we're mostly lesbians. We tend to be bi or asexual women with gender stuff going on, though there is a mix of everybody, including lesbians. There are also a lot of AFAB non-women who get lumped in with us. On the rare occasions I find a man willing to admit to being a similar demographic, he usually does like gender play in his hobbies and entertainment. It's just that men face even more pressure than women do to fit into tidy categories. Bi women get told we're whores. Bi men are told they don't exist.

Yes, I know plenty of lesbians who write more m/m than f/f, but in the big picture of all of AO3 or all of fanfic or all of media, they aren't the demographic driving these numbers. They're vastly outnumbered by the bi women, the asexual women, and the straight and gnc women.

The men we should be looking at as an equivalent aren't cis gay men but bicurious soy boys and the like.

Do most of us fujoshi object to equivalent men doing an equivalent thing? I've seen it sometimes, and I agree it's hypocritical. I'd like us to afford men the same ability to play and take on identities in their art. I remember enjoying Ranma fandom back in the day and reading quite a lot of f/f that was probably by men. It had some of that same sense of distance and fantasy that I so enjoy in m/m aimed at fujoshi. (I do consume some by-cis-gay, for-cis-gay content, both m/m and f/f, but it's often too literal and too bound up in specific named identities for my taste.)

On average, the people I see complaining most about men producing f/f material are the same people who think that because I have a clit, I should center my life around women exclusively. In other words, people spouting radfem ideology, perhaps on purpose or perhaps without realizing.

I do agree that some of the ways of expressing a lack of desire to write femslash can get pretty douchey. I want us to move away from some of the less accurate ones like "There are no compelling female characters" because of this.

But the reason for all these jerkass explanations is that women and people perceived as women who like m/m are constantly asked to explain ourselves. These aren't usually microaggressions: they're openly hostile. People get defensive and try to answer with important-sounding reasons about identity and pain because society at large won't accept "I like this" as the true explanation.

Pleasure is never enough of a reason for a woman to do something.

[kinardsevan]

I figured it out. Why hearing that Tommy is a plot device/temporary is so infuriating. It’s the equivalent of being told “it’s just a phase”. As in, Buck just needs a phase to “figure out” being bisexual so then he can guide Eddie through it??? That logic is fucked on so many levels.

Evan Buckley is a grown ass man. He may be figuring out what he likes coming from another man vs a female in a committed relationship, but it’s not like he’s NEVER kissed or had sex with someone before.

Also, I’ve put off saying this, but I think (one of) the things that bothers me most about the possibility of Buddie on any level is that you have to trust in the whole “I fall for my best friend and they fall back at the same time” trope. That shit is not only rare, it’s painful. And given that 911 tends to go for realism (on some level) versus the fantasy when it comes to building relationships, you can’t tell me that Buddie would get it easy. But there’s an entire class of people who think this is the hard part, and one day Eddie is just gonna wake up and realize now that Buck is canonically bisexual. But like… that’s not very realistic? Also, the point Ryan keeps making about Eddie being heterosexual. And also, I genuinely believe that given the original plans for Tommy’s arc, that when Ryan said no, that was their chance.

Hear me out:

Buck would’ve been far easier to flip on a whim of “I’m into my best friend” after Eddie having a moment with Tommy. The ground work is already there, with previous situations (TK, etc). Eddie on the other hand, has so many other issues to contend with (Shannon, Christopher, his faith) that without someone basically shoving him in that direction, it really doesn’t fit.

To which brings my point: I feel like there was probably a conversation (at the very least, if not more than one) had at some point before the season started, and knowing the ideas Tim had on the table, there was an engagement of “this is the direction we want to move in, how do you feel about it?” Because truth be told, you can’t force someone six years into their contract to suddenly make changes they’re not cool with. and again, I feel like when that possibility was broached, and Ryan said no but Oliver said yes, this was the result.

Ryan does not want to play a queer character. Oliver doesn’t have a problem with doing so, nor does Lou. (And all of that is OKAY). But to that end, Ryan literally cannot be forced to do so if he does not want to. (I imagine there are probably bylaws via SAG/AFTRA that ensure this under some level of sexual harrassment, etc). And again, it’s one thing for an actor to read fanfiction about their character, even send it to their scene partner and be like “hey look at this”. But that doesn’t equate to them being like “okay yeah, the fans want it so we should do it”. Case in point? Go look at the entire Marvey fandom in Suits. I personally have a retweeted twt from Aaron Korsh like 6/7/8 years ago which I commented on the two of them kissing. Guess what? It never happened. And AK and Co were well aware of the side of the fandom that wanted those two together.

I don’t know what happens with Lou and Tommy from here on out obvs. They’re certainly teeing up some options, though we don’t have any clear answers due to just entering hiatus last week. But even if he’s gone in s8, that will never ensure that Buddie happens, and I’m not even trying to be mean about that. It’s just fact.

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Once again I have so many thoughts, but very limited time to express them, so will attempt to make my swirling brain come up with something coherent.

I am finding it interesting to see all the different reactions to Dangerous Romance this week. To be clear, I am the kind of person who rarely has expectations going into a show, and am much more a "meh, let's see where the journey takes us" kind of watcher. I'm also very much still in my "yay, queer content" phase, and if it means looking at Perth for an hour a week, I'm probably going to be happy. (Not that I'm never disappointed, do I think Big Dragon needed about 200% more BDSM? Yes, yes I do.)

I do totally respect when a show isn't working for some people. That said, I am completely fine with the pacing, because what I am seeing, is a fuck-ton of setup.

Sure, the bullying has stopped, but now we know Kang is capable of being very dark and cruel, especially when there is something making him feel powerless in his life. He also has a weakness around Sailom, and is still trying to exert control, just in a new way.

Yeah, Sailom only had to escort once before getting back to tutoring, but Name literally followed him to his place of work, AND confirmed for himself that Sailom will accept a job like that with very little pushback - meaning if he gets even more desperate, it won't take much to push him further. Name is not going to do nothing with that information.

And I get if people feel like Saifah and Sailom should be freaking out more about their situation, but I kind of feel like that's purposeful? Saifah is an ass. He acts like everything is no big deal, because his little brother is going to be the one busting his butt to save them. He plays the part of the benevolent loving older brother, he buys treats for Sailom, but if it's a choice between Sailom getting beaten or himself, he's fine if it's Sailom.

And I may really be getting in the clown car here, but...who gets an injury that puts them in a desperate situation right at the worst time, when Sailom loses his tutoring job? Who would be in the best position to tell Name where Sailom works, and that Sailom will be easy to convince to accept an offer?

And right now Sailom is still in his "I adore my older brother" phase. It's been just the two of them for so long. He doesn't act stressed in front of Saifah, because when he told Saifah he lost his tutoring job, Saifah's response was, "yeah, rich people suck, huh". He's learned to hide his feelings, because his brother is an ass who will not take them seriously, and his friends will immediately want to try to help him - and he doesn't want help he doesn't feel he's earned. So yeah, we're not seeing his mask slip much yet - but I think we will. He will hit his breaking point.

Ok, and this is where I need to talk about the bubble. Because, yeah, Kang was snapped out of his when he saw Sailom getting beaten. But now - he's just in another one. One where he has accepted his money can't buy Sailom, but where he believes his money can protect Sailom. And right now? Sailom is joining him in this bubble. Why wouldn't he? It feels warm and safe and there's a cute boy inside. They can play games and work by candlelight. (I mean, c'mon, Kang literally put the boy in a VR helmet).

But this bubble, like the first one, is going to burst. And it's going to be rough for both of them.

[dragontamerno3]

DS9 S2 E22 - The Wire

HOW DOES ANYONE THINK THESE TWO ARE IN A STRAIGHT??!!!???!!!

Ahem.

Seriously. How?

The episode starts off with the two going to their weekly lunch having the gayest banter about books and food and there is genuine concern for Garak when he starts showing signs of illness. Yes, Bashir is the station Doctor but it's also very much a "my friend is in pain, whats wrong" look when it happens.

This is cemented when Jadzia brings her plant to him to diagnose. Their conversation was primarily about the plant he was examining but her "its not like you're friends" comment and them him agreeing angrily while he stabbed said plant? There was no mistaking that he does (at least on some level) think of them as friends. Honestly, that whole conversation kinda felt like a ton of "I'm not jealous" conversations where I've seen two friends discussing a third party who was hanging out with a new person. Or more specifically a crush starts to spend more time with someone new. I have had similar moments myself as a baby queer.

I applaud Quark for his ease of lying. He was so smooth with a line or two to give to Bashir to get him to walk away. Wonderfully done.

The other smooth part with Quark was when Bashir is trying to usher Garak out of the bar and convince him to go to the infirmary and how they just swapped the bottle without a word.

On that same note, when Quark called Bashir to the bar to get Garak and Garak was like "Yes, quiet is better, lets go to my quarters", I wondered how often he actually brought people back to his room. He is so secretive that it seemed to me that he'd rarely (or never) let anyone come by so it seems significant that he offered that.

Of course Odo has tapped Quarks bar to monitor his transmissions, so much so that he even knows when Quark makes his more "sensitive" calls.

From the moment they said Garak was having head pain I figured there was some kind of implant in his head that was either malfunctioning, it was finally deteriorating or something similar. That paired with the fact that Garak was most definitely a spy, whether he still is or isn't is questionable sure, but at one point he was somehow tied to the intelligence network. So it wasn't a surprise to find out that was what causing him pain. It was fun to watch Quark give the Cardassian dude a code for a highly classified piece of tech though that may or may not cause both of them some hiccups later. Karma.

What I WAS surprised by was that is was more of a drug like situation. The whole break down in his room about how he had spent years being tortured and so 2 years ago he decided to say fuck it and to just live in a drugged state permanently was well done. I felt for both men in that moment. I can't even imagine what Garak was going through but I can tell he was suffering even when he had been drugged. And then Bashir hearing that the man he had come to think of as a friend (even if it was reluctantly) claim he wanted nothing to do with the dear Doctor. But then the trust in Garaks face as he relented? There was no heterosexual reason for this.

I need more of Bashir being a guard dog for all those under his care cause clearly that's a pattern I enjoy. It was a great character moment when he protected Jadzia against the trill transfer earlier in the season and it was a great moment here where he told Odo to fuck off.

The whole withdrawals scene was a rough one to get through in that way that I could see where it was going and I could tell both sides of that were very uncomfortable but the "the problem is I DID enjoy it" gave me life.

Every single story Garak told in this episode was both contradictory and very much believable, to me. I believe he blew up a Cardassian ship that held civilians and his "friend" on broad because it sounds like to me that this was the moment that part of him died, the part where he was dedicated to the cause. I also believe he let the Bajorian "prisoners" go and his "friend" was angry/appalled because this might have been one of the first steps to him questioning his involvement in things and how he hated himself for having these thoughts. I also believe he tried to hack the Cardassian systems to self sabotage himself subconsciously while thinking he was fixing things only to discover he purposely screwed himself over.

"I need to know SOMEONE forgives me." 😭💔

The thing that I loved most about this episode though was how Bashir was willing to risk his own safety to go to Cardassia on his own for Garak, who is in exile, to confront a highly respected man of the deepest, darkest intelligence network. That took guts and he did it without even blinking. Hell, he did it without even flinching when it was clear Tain was giving him vague threats.

I am disappointed about how quickly this one wrapped up, it seemed like we were worried about Garak dying and he was just suddenly okay again and having lunch, but that's a whatever moment. We don't honestly know how much time had passed and we knew he was going to get the info he needed to remove the device. It just seemed... fast?

Overall very much one of my favorites so far.

9/10 - will watch a million times

[lurkingshan]

Kinou nani tabeta/What Did You Eat Yesterday?

You should know that I attempted to start this write up about half a dozen times before I managed to get a single word down. Every time I tried I just ended up staring at the wall. I don’t think I’ve been this emotionally stunned by a show since I Told Sunset About You, and I don’t say that lightly!

So, is this a good show? My god, YES. What an understatement. Let me tell you, as my MDL can attest, I’ve watched nearly 300 dramas. I’m sure I’ve watched even more Western shows since I had a 30 year head start on those. And I can say confidently that I’ve never seen anything quite like this gem.

Kinou nani tabeta, or What Did You Eat Yesterday?, is a drama about two middle aged gay men living their everyday lives, making and sharing food, reckoning with their identities and expectations, and figuring out how to be together in a long term relationship. That’s it, that’s the show. If that sounds boring to you, I gotta tell you: YOU ARE WRONG.

We meet Shiro and Kenji when they’re in their mid 40s and already a couple years into living together. Over the course of the show, we learn more about their relationship - how they got together, how they differ, where they struggle, where they shine, what they are still figuring out - and we see them work through it all, together. We see them at work, with friends, with their families, out in public, and in the privacy of their own home - we get a full and complete picture of their lives. And we are invited in to experience it with them and get up close and personal with their relationship in a way that feels both cozy and thrilling.

Now, I am not going to go into detail about everything that happens in this show, or attempt to provide deep analysis about its story, its characters, or the various cultures it depicts. This show was released in 2019, the manga began its run many years before that, and there are folks on this website - like @isaksbestpillow and @bengiyo - who have been at this a hell of a long time and thus have a broader context and lived experience from which to critically examine the show and its messages as they relate to Japanese familial values, life as a queer man from an older generation, and building community while living in a culture that is actively hostile to who you are. I implore you to go read their thoughts and learn from their wisdom. But what I will do is mention a couple (3… no 4, okay 5!) things that really made it stand out to me, a lifelong romance reader, avid media consumer, and drama enjoyer (I’m going to keep plot stuff vague because I hope if you’re reading this, you will be watching very soon!):

Let me repeat: this is a drama about a middle aged couple in a long term relationship, and the ongoing growth and deepening of their relationship is the main plot. Do I have to tell you how unique that is? The romance genre is rarely interested in what happens after the couple gets together, and even in other dramas featuring a couple in a LTR, the plot is usually about something else with the relationship in the background. And I’m fairly sure this is the only show of this nature in the entire bl genre (@absolutebl please fact check me if I’m wrong). In this show, the relationship is the point. It’s a rare look at what it actually takes to learn to deal with your baggage and share your life with someone, and I found it deeply moving.

My god these actors. With all due respect to the many fine actors in the bl industry, these two are on another level. We just never get to see seasoned actors of this caliber headlining ql dramas. If I have one tiny critique of this show, it’s that I found the moments when they let us listen in on the characters’ internal monologues mostly unnecessary - every emotional beat played out in their faces and body language. There’s this one scene I can’t stop thinking about, where the main pair are fighting, and one of them says something he doesn’t mean, and you see the regret on his face instantly, followed by a quick aborted movement as if to take it back, but his partner has already turned away and doesn’t see it. Just perfection. And the acting was so good in the finale (@waitmyturtles informed me my absolute fav moment was improvised for fucks sake) that it actually laid me out for like an hour, I was just sitting there in a crying daze.

The writing is so fucking smart. What’s absolutely brilliant about this show is that it’s structured like an episodic slice of life drama, but there is a deeper long term emotional arc at play and the writers forget nothing. Just like in life, in each episode something will happen, it won’t really get fully resolved, and the characters will move on. But on this show, it always comes back around, usually when your guard is down and they can inflict maximum damage by sucker punching you right in the solar plexus. I can hardly believe how many times this show managed to sneak attack me with emotional realness (official Shan cry count: 8/12 episodes caused me to burst into tears, sometimes more than once).

This show will take you through every possible destination on the spectrum of human emotion. I was so emotional while watching this show, in every sense. Crying both happy and sad tears. Swinging wildly between giddy delight, deep sadness, low key anger, and belly laughing. Sometimes the switch happens literally one scene to the next! And yet, there is an evenness to the tone and assuredness to the filmmaking that makes it all feel smooth. You never feel jerked around by the narrative. This is a credit to the writing, acting, and editing all coming together with perfect precision. The people who made this show are masters of their crafts.

OBVIOUSLY I MUST MENTION THE FOOD. Every episode of this show features at least one instance of a character making Japanese food that looks like the best thing you’ve never gotten the chance to eat. I do not recommended watching this without feeding yourself first, because it will have you salivating. And they don’t just show you the characters making the food (even narrating the recipes for you!), they always show you the characters actually eating and enjoying it. Some real foodies were involved in this production and as someone who loves to eat and absolutely was raised to view feeding people as a love language, I loved it.

So now that you are obviously dying to watch it, you must be wondering: where can I find this show? Let me point you to this post on @kinounaniresource, where the amazing Siiri has compiled all the video files and English subs you need. If you’re not familiar with how to use these, you’ll find instructions on her blog (if you get confused come ask me, please don’t bug her about it). I know sometimes shows being a little hard to access is a big deterrent to watching them, but please trust me that this is absolutely worth your time and effort, you will not regret it.

[mazzystar24]

OMG i still feel like I'm in a fever dream. I keep refreshing tumblr just to make sure that it HAPPENED.

We've been waiting for this for so long, i can't believe that they made Buck Bi!! Also here is the thing i want Buddie to happen and I am a hundred percent sure that it's happening (i don't know why people are thinking that it's not like???) the way i could see this going down is buck and tommy exploring their relationship and Buck beginning to question more and more things such as his relationship with Eddie. I WANT and him and Tommy to be in a relationship for a while (because they're actually pretty cute) and eddie pining. tommy will be the catalyst for Buddie.

Also: Oliver stark literally said, Buck has a crush, gets the person (exactly what happened with tommy) and that he has to work for his relationship to work and ryan saying "closer than ever??"

I also hate the fact that so people are mad and hating on the actors , that it wasn't with Eddie. Like of course a Buddie conformation would've been great, but we all knew that that wasn't gonna happen in this episode? We got FUCKING BI BUCK !!! Let's just celebrate this and just watch this beautiful story unfold. I really love reading your prediction and your positivity, please continue with that !!!

What do you think is going to happen in the next episodes? Sorry for the long ask!!

Sameee like I keep trying to be normal then I REMEMBER I’m like wow I didnt hallucinate that??

Exactly like they flat out called Tommy a plot device, confirmed he’s here for a little bit and that it’s a fling, so enjoy it as much as you want to while it’s here but don’t lose hope for buddie people? like legit this is the biggest confirmation buddie is on the horizon

YES THE INTERVIEWS HAVE BEEN REALLY FEEDING INTO MY DELUSION

Like let’s not forget Ryan saying they’re trying to give the people what they want🫡and that they are closer than ever - like legit he has no reason to say this in the same season buck realises he’s bi unless something BIG is gonna happen for buddie (maybe not full canon but vibes???)

Anyone hating on the actors can legit fight me.

Oliver and Ryan have been such troopers for the fandom and Oliver now with this storyline you can tell how much he genuinely loves buck and like understands him as a character but also how to give this storyline what it deserves. Like Oliver has been endlessly respectful to the fandom too like he’s been making sure that he doesn’t get peoples hopes up while also trying to play buck in a way that is true to the character. Like did you guys see his message to the fans? Or his interview talking about how he was gonna actively play buck as bi this season as much as he can even before he got told abt the kiss. Like that man hasnt just been supportive of the fandom he’s been an advocate for us and for buck which is such a wonderful thing.

Also yeah it wasn’t Eddie but do people realise that it’s VERY hard to write an up to now presumed straight character’s self discovery in their 30s LET ALONE TWO?? Like Tim found the easiest way to set the scene for the new audience and the GA who won’t have picked up on early seasons undertone and the little things planted throughout and while I would’ve loved buddie without the middleman I completely understand why they did it this way and I’ll enjoy seeing it unfold

And YES EXACTLY BI BUCK like that alone is a MASSIVE win like we are getting such rare bi rep of not only a guy in a very “macho” job and a womaniser type character BUT ALSO a person figuring stuff out in their 30s not in a repressed full of sex shame and guilt way but in a they genuinely just never explored that side of them!! Like that’s so huge we can talk for hours about how many queer rep stories are just plain depressing but this one is so authentic while also being quite light and sweet

Also aww thanks I genuinely love these asks sm (me? In love with everyone who sends me an ask? More likely than you think🤭🤭🤭)

Also omg I’m sorry this is so long like I spent most of this talking about everything except your question😭😭

Okay so predictions:

So we know that Buck is gonna tell some people and some will be surprised some not so much and some will be like it’s about damn time, my bets are:

chimney- surprised but maybe not through insider info (Maddie)

Maddie- KNOWS HAS KNOWN but the only shocker for her is that it wasn’t Eddie like I can imagine the confused and so tired face rn, I think she probs has either thought he knew or knew he didn’t and just was giving him the time and dropping as many hints as she can in the meanwhile

Bobby- supportive father icon, KNOWS (and while he also I fully believe is the buddie captain as well he will play it a little closer to vest if you get what I mean- but inside he’s going insane and his eye is twitching because he poached Eddie for his dumb bi son only for them to ACT married for six seasons and go to him for dating advice abt other people constantly and now that his son is a man kisser it’s not the man Bobby was hoping for😔 pray for him y’all)

Hen- she’s the it’s about damn time response

Athena- also might be the it’s about damn time response

Ravi- in a permanent state of confusion- not about this he’s just confused always (also still fully convinced the poor guy thought buddie had been married cos that headcanon is endlessly amusing to me)

Now for actual plot I think that like the date is low-key a train wreck after the Eddie and Marisol interruption and that either we get a chenford-like double date or we just have a brief intereuption from Eddie and that’s a minor thing and like it’s buck admitting it’s his first date with a guy who hates throws a lot of questions in the air because Tommys reaction was a bit 👀 like I think it’s more or less confirmed that Tommy was repressed for a while when working with captain dickhead so maybe he’s like gonna be taking a step back cos he thinks buck needs more time to like explore this part of himself (but I hate that trope so hoping not) or maybe we get the buddie shipper daydream and Tommy is like more aware of buddie than buddie are and he either says that to buck as the reasoning but buck doesn’t tell Eddie that OR he says something cryptic about it to buck and buck doesn’t fully understand and he’s like you will eventually👀👀👀 (I need a lobotomy yes the delusions are a part of me now)

I hope that Marisol gets the fuck out right about now but I say that every episode 🫡 (edy’s face and voice make me wanna scream I hate her homophobic, transphobic ass sm)

Anyways I’m gonna shut up now bye love ya thank ya and sorry 🫡🫡

[qqueenofhades]

best wishes to anon because i feel this so hard with my parents. it sucks, i can't agree better.

The thing is, queer people are under constant pressure to Be Good Queers. Some of this comes from the toxic online purity culture spearheaded by often-young queer-identifying people who nonetheless deride the word "queer" itself as Problematic and are largely ignorant of the community's history, even its very recent history. (See the constant wank about what kind of queer media is Good Queer Media and what kind of queer representation is Good Queer Representation; i.e. in their minds often sanitized, sexless, devoid of difficult themes or narratives, and not containing anyone except Good Queer People. Bleh.)

The other half of this comes from straight/heteronormative mainstream society itself, especially now that the LGBTQ+ community is once more under such vicious and sustained attack. Individual queer people feel the need to be, indeed, Good Queer People, to put in the work to change harmful attitudes and beliefs, to try to reduce harm to other community members by challenging bigoted attitudes, feeling like it's "their fault" if they don't do so and therefore they might be indirectly responsible for perpetuating harm... etc. etc. It's exhausting, it's draining, and often leads to these people blaming themselves (or uh, each other) individually, instead of the massive revanchist theocratic/homophobic project currently being driven forward in the US by the nakedly fascist right wing. But it's a trauma response to that ongoing desperate effort to re-eradicate us (which they won't succeed at, obviously, but it's scary and will not automatically just go away without major pushback), and it should be seen as such.

Therefore, it's not the responsibility of every single queer person to actively attempt to change the mind of every single bigot they come across. It's just not. Those things rarely rely on logic or well-reasoned conclusions anyway; it's just something they find Icky because the Ideology has told them so. Yes, they can sometimes get past it and re-evaluate those beliefs and realize their harm, but it's also something that person generally has to do for themselves. They don't care about statistics or reality; they don't see the actual people affected by their beliefs as anything more than abstract Threats to something that they "know" is Right and Correct. Again, this can be overcome, but usually not by anyone except the bigot themselves. And it's hard enough out there for all of us to survive and get through the day. We don't need to be pouring constant emotional energy and labor into dealing with bigots who just don't want to hear it anyway. So.

Basically, this is my blanket permission for anyone dealing with a bigoted friend or family member where they feel they have a responsibility to fix their thinking and can't just walk away: you don't. You can walk away and set that boundary for yourself. If you want, you are even allowed to cut off contact and not remain as the Nice Queer Friend who they can use to justify their beliefs ("I can't be homophobic I have gay friends!" etc), or anything like that. It's hard out there right now in so many ways. Prioritize taking care of yourself and fighting the battles that matter, against the enemies who really matter. And never, ever feel guilty for HOW you're queer or how you interpret that or what you do to safeguard yourself, the end. Love, your cranky old lesbian internet spinster aunt/godmother.

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Coming out to the batfam as asexual

A/n: So asexuals are all different, even then I tried to make it as universal as possible but if you're sex favorable (I'm not so that's probably partially why I wrote it like that) this one (unfortunately) might not be for you!

Warnings: Being scared to come out, mentions of aphobia and killing people, I think that's it? You have been warned!

The reader is gender neutral!

Requested by: @bandshirts-andbooks

Ironically for being the world's best detectives no one really caught on

I think the only person who might of is Cass, but it's nothing for sure, she just saw your body language would change slightly when people talked about sex

The first person you tell is Alfred

You were probably having a bad day, maybe seeing some straight people talk about ace people in a really negative way, and perhaps some queer people online who told you, that ace people didn't belong in the community

And people just being shitheads in general towards the queer community and just all these laws being made against trans people everywhere can really wear someone down, right?

So it's the middle of the night and you're in the kitchen crying because it's just been a bad day

And Alfred comes in, "Mx. L/n are you alright?"

After you were adopted you never got Bruce's last name

"Ah, yes! Don't worry it's nothing!"

🥹

All it takes is one raised eyebrow from him and you're quickly defeated, and he pulls out a chair and sits next to you

"Don't let things fester for too long Mx. L/n, you know what happens to your brothers when they do."

Sighing you wring your hands through your hair (something you picked up from your father) "I just-"

"Alfred I think I'm asexual."

"There's a silence and half your brain is thinking maybe Alfred doesn't know what it is and the other half think he hates you now

"Mx. L/n you do not "think so" I'm pretty sure you know."

And that in itself is confirmation that he supports you, the way he's smiling makes you wonder how you could think anything else

Okay next you come out to Cass

Because Alfred slyly told you she might already know

She's supportive and tells you in her own way that she would hurt anyone who isn't

I also think she understands you the most because I headcanon (is it canon???) that Cass is asexual

So she's who you go for to vent, and eventually she'll come out to you as ace too!

Then there's Stephanie and Barbra

Steph squeals; "Another member of the alphabet mafia!" And Barbra recomends a bunch of asexual groups online where they share their personal experiences

While all this fluffiness is happening the batboys tm are trying to get back at you for winning the prank war last week

Naturally they go into your dating history, because why not?

Murder might be committed by Cass after this

There aren't very many people but there's ONE person from your high school days

And thanks to Tim's savvy tech skills they somehow find out you're a virgin

(don't ask)

At this point Damian didn't really know the plan, but he's mostly the distraction anyways!

In the past you had told them you weren't one

High school was not good for your baby ace ass alright?

Meaning they thought it was fair game because they were getting back at you for lying and winning the prank war

Imagine your surprise when at a rare dinner Jason, Tim, and Dick are glancing at each other mischievously

Bruce looks like he has no idea what's going on and Damian (for once) looks oddly innocent

"You know how we use to say Jason gets no bitches" Dick starts up

"Hey!"

"Well little Timmy here." Dick continues ignoring an angry Jay. "Found out you're worse than Jaybird and are a Virgin."

You just stare dumbfounded at their giggling faces

"I didn't know that this was part of the plan." Damian mutters

At this point you were much more confident in yourself and had momentairly forgetten that Bruce was still in the room

Just imagine seeing those faces

when you finally tell them

"I'm asexual fuckwads."

Their faces go BEAT RED

"Oh, um..."

"Also Tim, idk how you found out I was still a virgin, but if you do anything like that again..."

The look on Tim's face - it was very clear that your threat got through to him

Then you remembered Bruce was still in the room

Slowly you turned your head to face him

Instead of saying anything he just gave you a smile

That's how you came out to the Batfam, from being scared, to be a confident badass

-thedelusionreaderbitch

dc taglist: no one yet!

[sitp-recs]

Sitp Essentials - Fandomversary Edition: Writcraft

June marks the 12th (!!!) fandomversary of this incredibly talented and generous author, whose work has brought me so much joy and healing over the years. What an accomplishment, my friend! I know I’m not only speaking for myself when I say that we are so very grateful for your presence and immense contributions to the HP fandom. I’m a bit wary of taking on long-term projects these days but I really wanted to do something to celebrate this milestone so I’ve decided that, during the month of June (and there was no better month to celebrate in! 🏳️‍🌈) I’ll be posting single recs for 12 of my favourite fics by @writcraft. Some are older recs, written in the blog’s early days, some are brand new, highlighting rare pairs, hidden gems and recent works. I won’t have a rigid schedule because I don’t wanna set myself up for failure so the rec posts will be a surprise even for me 🤣 I hope you guys enjoy them just as much!

Anyone who knows me well is aware that I’m very shy around my fandom heroes and will rarely initiate any kind of conversation with them. I was so anxious about being perceived that I wouldn't even tag them when I created the blog. Writ holds even more power in my imaginary fandom altar because they’ve written one of my all-time favorite fics. I found Little Compton Street aka the “Life on Mars Love Story Told in 3 Acts” at a difficult time of my life when I was almost leaving fandom for good. But getting to read LCS and to fall in love with those magical London spots and captivating characters was a beautiful transformative experience that altered me completely. This fic not only had a profound impact on my ever changing self-awareness as a queer person, it checked my many fic reading boxes, and pulled at my heartstrings in all the right ways. I've learned so much from LCS; it is an ode to queer history, a love letter to all of those who came and fought before us, and to all of those who were killed, erased and forgotten in the process. It is is a story filled with hope and a compassionate reminder urging us to always resist, and never forget.

*at a loss of words*

(…)

As you can see, I always get immersed in my feels when I think about LCS and I know it will always have a special place in my heart. This feeling of profound gratitude and joy for Writ’s formative works is what inspired me to do this humble homage. Am I a bit nervous about not having enough fuel to see this through? Hell yes. But I’m opening myself to the possibility of failure because I know this is for someone who’s unfailingly kind and compassionate. Writ, I admire you deeply as a writer and even more so as a person. Your contributions to the HP fandom through fics, fests and meta over the years have been immense, and I know your RL contributions to the queer community and its memory have been just as impactful. Happy 12th Fandomversary, my friend! For someone who’s been reading your words since 2012, it feels incredibly special to finally get to share this space with you. 🏳️‍🌈💜

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/730572795212398592/what-is-up-with-all-the-trans-men-on-this-hellsite?source=share

As a trans man, I might have some insight into this one. I'm a lot older than the standard uwu sparkle anti, but I was in my mid twenties for the first wave of weirdness about trans boys on Tumblr about a decade ago, so I was just too old for it then, and I saw a lot of guys my age and a little younger get swept up in it.

OTNF rightly points out that young trans men are a particularily vulnerable demographic. This is part of it, but we're also a demographic that doesn't sit comfortably with our identites (gender identities or otherwise) and are told by everyone (on every side) that we are Doing It Wrong, that our existence harms others, and that we must be this specific way to be good people.

I'm sure you've seen the "trans men are better than real cis men" rhetoric. It's meant to be inclusive and to reassure us that we're not bad people just because of our gender, but it also denies us our entire gender identity.

So basically, you've got a bunch of young guys, most of whom were socialised like girls and learned to never be too assertive, many of whom are straight up suffering from dysphoria and stress, being told by people both within and outside of their communities that the are Wrong and Bad and Harmful just for existing. It makes sense that a lot of them would would find a movement based on moral posturing that will accept them if they perform correctly and will use their real name and pronouns. That's what Antis are; they say "use this vocabulary, send hate mail to that person, put these terms in your DNI, don't be caught reading that story", and, unlike other groups that police people's tastes and performance that hard, they're not overtly hostile to trans identities. So you can spout the right rhetoric, use the right tumblr icon, and they will actually accept you (on the surface, for a time, but we're talking about young and desperate people who aren't looking at the long game).

Helping them harass those badwrong horrible NOTP shippers or aces or middle aged women or some random artist who got caught drawing the wrong age gap or whoever is the fashionable target will prove that you aren't a horrible monster for being a man, you're moral and upright and correct.

And yes a lot of it is internalised misandry (that word has a lot of dumb baggage, but how else can I describe a boy who hates himself for being a boy?), or self-loathing born of dysphoria and just plain having to live in a world that's hostile to trans people.

Being an anti is a way out. It's a way to manufacture acceptence. And they're too young and too hurt to realise that that acceptance is as temporary and hostile as the people who accept them only if they pretend to be girls; the antis will turn on them the moment they start acting a little too manly or if they're caught liking the wrong ship.

(I've seen something similar happen to young cis queer guys and trans girls, too, but it isn't as pronounced since being raised as a boy means you probably already learned that standing up for yourself is ok sometimes)

--

I'm sure it also doesn't help that tumblr is absolutely full of BL/slash fandom. There's certainly plenty of gender diversity in these spaces, but it's inescapable that the majority of participants are women. So for a young, insecure guy trying to assert that he is a guy, it's easy to fall prey to "Waaaah, I need to reclaim my hobby for me!" gatekeepy nonsense.

Sure, it's going to be turned on nbs even harder than on cis women and will be used to misgender other trans men in the end and misogyny isn't cool anyway, but that's not what your average traumatized young fool is thinking when they first join up. They're thinking "I hurt."

TBH, though, probably the largest component is that all of us—all of us—have a mental image of a default human for a given context. It's rarely a trans man. And so anything a trans man does stands out and is A Thing Trans Men Do.

This is true even if you are trans. It is true even if you are not a transphobic dickhead. Unlearning the 'why girls are bad at math' xkcd strip is extraordinarily hard because recognizing patterns and having mental defaults is just how human brains work.

There are shittons of cis women who become antis, but they're just not notable in the same way.

Are trans men more vulnerable to becoming antis? It's possible, and the reasons you outlined above are likely why. I think it's an interesting question to discuss if we are specifically discussing why the trans men who do become antis do so.

But we don't actually have any hard facts to support that they are more prone to it than anybody else. My guess would be that vulnerable people are more likely to become antis, so any cis woman with a strong source of vulnerability like a shittastic home life is similarly vulnerable to a young trans man with no support network, but who knows.

Maybe only 5% of trans men on tumblr are antis and 50% of cis women. Maybe it's 90% of trans men and 20% of cis women. Maybe it's 1% and 1% and they're just all very loud.

We have no data. We just don't know.

And we will never be able to trust our own brains on this until trans vs. cis is such a nonissue that we don't even notice it.

[pansy-picnics]

HE'S BEEN GASLIGHTED, HE LOVES LANCE NOW. I WOULD NEVER FAIL HIM

LANCE IS A COMPLICATED CHARACTER JUST LIKE EUGENE AND I NEED PEOPLE TO TALK ABOUT HIS DYNAMICS WITH OTHER CHARACTERS LIKE ANGRY AND CATALINA BECAUSE OMG I CANNOT THINK OF A CARTOON THAT WROTE ABOUT A PROBABLY QUEER BLACK MAN ADOPTING AN ASIAN DAUGHTER AND A DAUGHTER THAT'S. WHATEVER TEH FUCK CATALINA HAS GOING ON. BUT HE'S SO SPECIAL??? HE'S AMAZING??? ALSO THE FACT THAT TEENAGERS ARE VERY RARELY ADOPTED AND HE SAID FUCK THIS AND TOOK THEM IN ANYWAYS BECAUSE HE REMEMBERS BEING A TEENAGER ON HIS OWN TOO

LITERALLYYLYKYLYKY OH MY GOD???? NO BECAUSE. no bc kiera and catalina parallel lance and eugene as kids almost EXACTLY imo and its SO important in a sense that like. ok i don’t think the rise of flynnigan rider is canon necessarily bc that book was a mess but lance and eugene’s interactions in it are so GOOD it drives me crazy.

basically lance at that age (like 11-12) is portrayed as a kinda shy and anxious kid who tends to keep to himself but is really nerdy and smart and well aware of his surroundings. he’s still a kid and he can be dumb and impulsive but he’s emotional and clings to people who show him affection. eugene’s the opposite, he’s super charismatic and talks his way out of things easily but he never really thinks before he acts and it gets him into trouble really easily. but together they balance each other out, and eugene is super protective of lance bc he knows he’s the more shy and cautious one.

they’re such a good team bc they balance out each others strengths and weaknesses perfectly. but lance actually has a point where he felt betrayed by eugene and it hit so hard despite the plot being so messy. LIKE HE GENUINELY TOLD HIM OFF AND STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF AND IT WAS SO GOOD?? and then theres the whole alleged scrapped lance and eugene backstory episode which might not even be real but its CANON TO ME EVEN IF ITS NOT BC THATS HOW GOOD IT IS. yk the one where eugene almost got adopted and lance was afraid of being left behind so he broke a window and blamed it on eugene so the couple wouldn’t want him anymore? Yeah. Yeah i think about that a normal amount actually!

AND ITS BC. ITS THE SAME DYNAMIC KIERA AND CATALINA HAVE. WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO IT. AND I THINK ITS CLEAR THAT THE REASON LANCE CHANGED SO MUCH FROM THAT POINT TO WHEN WE SEE HIM IN THE SERIES IS BECAUSE…. EUGENE WASN’T THERE ANYMORE. THINK ABT IT. THEY BOTH BALANCED OUT EACH OTHERS FLAWS. LANCE WAS SHY AND CAUTIOUS BUT EUGENE WAS RECKLESS AND CHARISMATIC. WHEN THEY GOT SEPARATED LANCE HAD TO TAKE ON A SIMILAR PERSONA BECAUSE THE SHY KID HE USED TO BE WOULD BE KILLED IF HE GOT LEFT ON HIS OWN!!!

LANCE SAW HIM AND EUGENE IN KIERA AND CATALINA. THE QUIET AND CAUTIOUS BUT CALCULATED ONE WHO’S ALSO A LITTLE SHIT AND THE RECKLESS AND CHARISMATIC PROTECTIVE ONE. HE SAW THEM TOGETHER AND HE REMEMBERED WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM AND EUGENE. HOW THEY GOT TORN APART. AND HOW HE HAD TO CHANGE HIMSELF TO SURVIVE. HE TOOK THEM IN BECAUSE HE KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM TOO.

Godddd I’M SO. there are so many traits and little details abt him that just got passed off as jokes or one liners in the series but they SHOULDN’T BE. GODDD HES A CHEF. HE LOVES FOOD AND COOKING HES A THEATER KID!! HE LOVES LITERATURE AND HE LOVES MUSIC!!! I THINK HE LOVES THEATER AND DOESN’T FEEL AS AFRAID IN THAT SENSE BECAUSE HE TRULY FEELS LIKE A DIFFERENT PERSON ON STAGE. ITS WHY HE DOESN’T LIKE SINGING AS HIMSELF BUT HE’D ABSOLUTELY KILL IT IN A PLAY.

and god it annoys me so much bc whenever anyone DOES talk about how lance got done dirty in the series nobody actually brings up WHY….. i love this series too but we cant just sweep the issue under the rug. theres a reason they only played him for comedic relief and made him look childish and stupid IT’S RIGHT THERE ITS BECAUSE HES BLACK. AND YES WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. I LOVE THAT THEY HAD HIM ADOPT THE GIRLS IN THE END AND IT WAS SO SWEET BUT HE WAS STILL THE BLACK BEST FRIEND TROPE AND HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER!!!

HE LITERALLY JUST HAS ADHD AND NOT TO MENTION THE FANDOM ALWAYS ACTS LIKE EUGENE IS THE STRAIGHT MAN OF THE DUO WHEN THEY’RE BOTH EQUALLY DUMB AND SILLY??? AND THEY BOTH SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO BE SILLY. people always talk about lance getting into varian’s stuff even though EUGENE DOES THE SAME THING AND HE’S JUST AS BAD. AND YALL AREN’T CALLING HIM IMMATURE. ITS RACIALLY MOTIVATED!!! AND IT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!!

he’s not stupid in fact i genuinely think he’s the most emotionally mature out of the entire cast. i think he came to the orphanage as a young child rather than from birth and he had a mom who he loved very much and who taught him to manage his emotions well and bc of it he’s very in tune with himself!! and he’s very much the dad friend!!! he’s just a silly guy and he wants to make his friends laugh but sometimes he ends up sacrificing himself for others too much!!! and he needs to care about himself too!!!

God i just. I GET SO INSANE ABOUT HIM HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER. GTRRRRAAASGHHGHHHHH.

[chirpsythismorning]

I get your point on Mike not noticing what Will is going through but there really is no indication of him noticing things about Will all the time. Like... S3 exists. And even in S4, he's not aware of what Will is going through and we also should take into consideration that Mike and Will have not spoken to each other for months, how the heck would he even know about Will's sexuality or his feelings for him? And he did not notice Will's sensing Vecna and what was going on until Will told him that Vecna's still alive and he can sense him. Will's also the first one to sense the Upside Down acting on (him touching his neck scene) and Mike did not realize that moment, I mean, he basically is not even in the focus of that shot, the kid is basically hugging Hopper behind the scene, lol.

Also there really is a difference btwn him noticing Will just acts annoyed at the roller rink versus why Will acted that way which... he didn't realize what Will really acted that way anyways.

I am keeping an open mind and speculating here because there are signs that it's not as simple as the show is presenting it as.

Though, I do want to make it clear that I don't think it's ever been as simple as Mike fully understanding Will, specifically in the van scene.

I think all these moments between them over the years, that read as romantic coded to us, could arguably feel that way to them, deep down at least. They've confirmed that was the case for Will since s1, though they have yet to even imply that could be a possibility for Mike, despite it being the obvious direction that they're going with in the story.

Honestly, I think at least deep down, Will AND Mike are in a constant back and forth of he loves me/he loves me not, which just hits a lot different as a queer person. They're also best friends and so they're having to worry that they'll make the other person uncomfortable after realizing they misunderstood things. It's also why they (especially Mike) doubles down and ends up hurting Will, because he's so focused on not making his feelings obvious, that he basically implies him and Will aren't friends anymore (instant regret jpg.).

Yes, Mike can't know Will's every thought and emotion at all times, especially when he's not even looking in Will's direction at all. And yet I think that he's still able to sense that at least something is wrong when he is in a situation where Will is right there in front of him.

For example, we're barely shown Mike looking at Will at all at Rink-O-Mania despite them being like 3 ft away from each other most of the day, and yet he ends the night giving us a play by play of Will's emotions. We even get a shot in the van on the way back to the Byers, with Mike looking over at Will who is upset, but not El. They make a point to parallel these shots directly. And so Mike didn't look at El crying, but he did look at Will upset here AND also Will crying in the van scene at the end of the season... Okay...

There was also a post recently that really makes this concept of Mike noticing Will crying even more plausible, because it's a scene of Lucas literally noticing Max upset in the backseat, and yet he doesn't push her any further...

It's sort of a time and place situation on a basic level. Like is now really the time to confront Will crying, and talk about it, all the while they've been framing byler all season as being interrupted constantly and rarely getting a moment of privacy? Meaning a moment truly acknowledging this properly, might very well warrant no one around...

Like I said, I go back and forth on this all the time. Because I think the easiest way to write off the van scene as Mike being totally oblivious, is that Will is lying. And Will doesn't lie to Mike and so no wonder it was so easy to believe him. And so that could explain it right?

Still, I think that it's unlikely to be as simple as Mike understanding Will in the van vs. being oblivious. The main thing I get out of Mike in the van scene is hope.

Arguably, most of the GA thinks that Mike picked up on Will's feelings in the van scene, though they also assume he doesn't feel the same. So what they assume occurred, is Mike letting Will down gently. They think it's obvious Mike noticed and that he doesn't feel the same, and so that's why he's not comforting Will. Most viewers with common sense picked up on Will's behavior in the van scene as him confessing his feelings to Mike through El. Most people went damn, welp that's tragic. After all, this is the moment that finally allowed Noah to finally say It's 100% obvious Will is gay and in love with Mike. After years of them denying and gaslighting fans over speculation in regards to Will's sexuality, THIS is the moment they chose to make it clear to the audience. Just because he never said it outright himself up to this point (and still technically hasn't), doesn't mean he hasn't felt those feelings deep down the whole time? I don't see why we should completely rule out Mike also being somewhat aware, but just having doubts and is just in general scared, because that's understandable. (Sometimes, I think it's just scary to open up like that, to say how you really feel--).

I think the van scene is truly in a league of its own, separate from every moment before it because it is the moment that finally gave them the confidence to reveal the hidden (half) truth that's been going on in this show the whole time in regards to Mike and Will. And yet the Duffers STILL aren't willing to admit that there's more to it... Or are they?

That's the thing about what the Duffer's said, because if you remember what they mentioned about the van scene, it was, While, Mike doesn't fully pick up on it-- So they are basically alluding that it's not as simple as Mike understanding/not understanding. This is obviously because if Mike understood Will and yet he looked super happy, how exactly could the Duffers work around answering that without giving things away?

And so, what if it's only slightly the opposite of that GA assumption? What if the van scene is Mike picking up on Will's words being about himself (like the GA largely assumes), but it's not Mike letting Will down, it's him being relived (upon realizing the painting Will made for his crush is for Mike), confused, while also being somewhat hopeful? What if it's Mike also feeling the responsibility to wait, bc at the moment, he is still technically in a relationship with El. What if it's Mike holding back because comforting Will in this moment, who is now currently sobbing, would cause Mike to cry...? I think them blurring out Mike's reaction beside Will, as he stares at the painting is sus in terms of the possibility Mike could also be emotional in this moment, though holding back those emotions in the same way Will is, just a lot more successfully (Smalltown boy agenda is alive and well...). I mean, why else have both Mike and Will give each other the most heartfelt smiles we've ever seen them give to anyone, only to both look away with their smile dropping... Why?

I also think it's going to be a lot of mental gymnastics to have to make the GA go from thinking Mike understood Will in the van scene, but was letting him down gently, to then reveal Mike didn't understand Will, but still likes Will, but is also hearing all these things fully believing they're El's feelings, and he's smiling and looks super happy with that information? Having only one of those facts wrong feels a little more reasonable in subscribing to this classic miscommunication/unreliable narrator domino effect approach they're going for.

This reminds me of a TikTok that I saw a while back, which pointed out a specific reaction shot from Mike that I think a lot of us overlook. Even though I've been a Mike is clueless in the van scene truther mostly up until recently (I still flip-flop), what I realized after watching this was that, subconsciously, I do feel like Mike is indeed reacting to Will's emotions in this moment, and in his reaction shots he looks emotional and almost sympathetic specifically for Will's emotions in particular. Without actually breaking down what this implies, I've always felt this watching this shot and I still feel it:

And so here Will is, word for word, describing what him and Mike went through over the last year. He even uses words Mike himself used only a few episodes before, when they made up back in Lenora. We know El hasn't been pushing Mike away for the last year. Mike knows this more than Will does. It's just that Will is assuming El is in love with Mike, at least equal to how much Will loves Mike (how could she not be, that's Will's assumption here), and so he's just playing it off like that's something El is doing, when really the whole problem is that El has been doing the opposite of pushing Mike away for the last year, and yet Mike still couldn't commit with a simple four letter word.

And so my difficulty following along with the argument that Mike is clueless is that Will is clearly talking about them in this scene and at times Mike looks relieved and emotional and awestruck while hearing Will say all of this, things that fit their situation, while looking confused whenever Will mentions El's name...

I don't think it's as simple as Mike fully picking up on it, because there are contradictions at play here, and there's also the events leading up to this and what follows that could also impact what Mike thinks about this moment, over time.

But I also can't rule out Mike being hopeful. I think that's more so what it's about for me in terms of analyzing this scene. It's not that I think Mike is fully picking up on Will's feelings, or that he has ever done so at any point genuinely, but more so that I think he's partially picking up on it, and he's hoping.

I think there are certainly doubts that any average person would have in this moment, which I also think mirrors moments of hope and doubt that Mike has experienced in the past in regards to his relationship with Will.

While I know some fans think the end of s2 was the moment Mike realized his feelings, or the end of s3, I just don't think it's that simple.

I think that those moments represent the experience of slowly realizing something, but also being too scared to look too closely at it because of what it could mean, aka looking behind the curtain.

It also makes the expression Mike makes between El and Will at Nina a little more impactful. Because what we see is El and Mike reuniting, and Mike leaning in, but not as close as he could. It's quite visible he's pulling back and not meeting her halfway.

Like, Will literally spent ALL season encouraging him nonstop to tell El how he feels, and the dude can't even kiss her during this super auspicious moment? Dude literally keeps his mouth as far away as possible? Every other movie/show would have them kiss and say I love you during this reunion. Instead they make a point to emphasis Mike looking relieved that El doesn't hate him and that she wants him in her life still, followed by Mike seeking out Will almost instantly.

Also the whole, I didn't say it/You didn't have to moment was kind of unnecessary to drop in the scene where Mike poured his feelings out to Will earlier in the season (where he also said he felt like he lost Will), if it wasn't meant to allude to something deeper that will have a follow up to it. Why even have that exchange at all on the show, if not to hint at something deeper? If you're going to make a ship endgame, and have one of them noticing 9/10 when the other is upset and having them comfort them, then there's gotta be some follow through there. That line was toooo iconic for it to not be.

That's all I can think about when I see Mike smiling the brightest and most heartwarming we've ever seen him smile in the entire show, as he's hearing Will say these things. To me, at the very least, it looks like hope.

And the face he makes at Surfer Boy when Will tells him he's the heart and encourages him to confess to El essentially... that looks to me like devastation and heartbreak. It looks like Mike experiencing the worst possible case of 'he loves me not' one could ever experience (maybe Will's got it worse, I would argue that the same face he makes in response in that moment hits even harder...)

At the very least, I think Mike has been hoping, just like Will is. When it comes to growing up queer, all you have is hope and then the inevitable disappointment more often than not. Back in the 80s in a small town?? Like, it's no wonder they're both in denial they could have a chance despite getting signs there is a chance.

This is something that both Mike and Will are going through, circles of maybe this is real, only to be proven wrong. The tragedy of it all is that they both DO feel the same. And so their gut feeling is right, it's just that heteronormativity doesn't make it something they can really risk, in the case that they end up being wrong.

I will say, where I am up in the air at now is with what Mike is currently thinking about at the end of s4 as he stands by Will. If he is just realizing that El doesn't need him bc she is avoiding him, and that presumably the painting was a lie or at least not fully truthful, wouldn't Mike be upset? Instead he is very accepting of the fact that El doesn't need him and he is practically latching onto Will... And so does he know now that it's Will's feelings? Idk...

Like I said, I think that there are a lot of layers of reactions still in store, which is why it's not as simple as fans want it to be.

I am willing to guess that Mike at least hopes. I think it took a lot for Mike to stay beside Will instead of walking up further with El. I think that this is just the beginning of him accepting himself, which is why it follows directly after Mike and Hopper hug, who last hugged when Mike had a mental breakdown at the end of s2 over 'lying' in regards to his emotions about El being alive/will being possessed by the mindflayer, and who was also juxtaposed to Hoppers letter at the end of s3 also hinting at Mike's deeper feelings. They've been laying breadcrumbs so that once you have all the pieces it will be a lot more satisfying. Right now it's confusing, but that's okay because we're just along for the ride right now.

The problem I see us heading into in s5, is us now having all of these miscommunications coming to a head. Just because Mike hopes, doesn't mean he's certain. It means he's more than prepared to be bombarded with contradictions that will make both of them heartbroken and confused all over again.

The highly anticipated painting confrontation is one that I think could be crazy because Mike reacting upset in any way would obviously be a signal to Will that he doesn't feel the same... but we know that's not the case, and that it's actually quite the opposite.

At the moment I'm still on the fence, but I do think regardless what we have in store for s5 is a healthy dose of miscommunication and misunderstandings and revelations still to come (arguably the most gut wrenching bc they need to top the previous seasons), hopefully followed by more revelations and then the build up of that hope finally leading to something...

[gutsfics]

Ace Awareness Week Questionaire - Reigan Lee (aka Lee Sungwon)

@choicespride

How/when did your character discover/realize they are ace?

he didn't know the word for it, but he realized that he wasnt as interested in sex and relationships as his peers when he was in high school. at first he thought that people were just exagerating when they talked about sexual attraction. he learned the word in his college's gsa, but it still took a bit for him to realize that it applied to him.

he thought he was bisexual for the longest time.

Does your character use any aspec microlabels?

no, but he uses the macrolabel of Queer. also he's aromantic as well

Has your character come out as ace? If so, how/when?

he's done it a bunch of different ways with a couple different people, but sometimes to the same people because they seem to keep forgetting 🤔

mostly though he doesnt think it's anyone's business

What is your character’s favorite thing about being ace?

he thinks its really funny being The Sexiest Person In The Room while knowing full well he has no intention of going home with any of the people currently falling over themselves trying to get into his pants

also not having to deal with the cleanup that usually comes after sex

What is your character’s least favorite thing about being ace?

"its just a phase, sweetie. you'll find the right person eventually :)" and when he ends up in a qpr, "i told you so! ;) so when are you gonna have kids?" which like, he doesn't mind the kids questions but depending on the person it may include some invasive questions about his sex life

Is your character in a relationship (i.e., romantic, qpr, platonic, etc.)?

yes! he's in a qpr with Dr Tobias Carrick. for them that means they help each other out financially and legally, as well as taking care of each other when sick, or just spending time together. outside looking in, their relationship does seem fairly romantic- especially bc they're fairly physically affectionate w each other- but neither of them see it that way

How does your character feel about sex (i.e., sex-postive, sex-repulsed, etc.)?

he's sex positive, but like. not near him thanks.

honestly, its pretty nuanced for him. because even though he doesn't feel attraction to other people, sometimes he gets horny, and sometimes- very vary rarely- that horniness happens to coincide with a need for human contact, and he may decide to possibly have sex then. he and Tobias refer to it as his pon farr

also occasionally he might go to a sex club and just chill naked. if asked by someone while he's there, he'll say its to help break the ice bc its easier to be less nervy about fucking in a sex club if there's a dude that's already naked. but mostly he just likes the idea of there being places where its okay for him to be naked

[applesfallingfromblondehair]

here for the discussion too 🙋‍♀️

ive been having this chat with a couple of friends the past days, where we've discussed the impact of 75s actions in malaysia considering the view that it seems like several queer malaysians share that it did more harm than good for them. ive had a difficult time like, grappling with that bc ultimately i think it was such a powerful act - BUT, to me it also genuienly genuinely read as sooo personal and not even necessarily that #activism was why it happened?

matty is a massive Feelings person so its not like its rare for him to Get Into those feelings but man he was soo angry, it very much seemed personal, and as if they'd been told something right before stepping on stage... to me the way ross kissed him also came off so much more like a comforting "i see you, you're not alone in this" type of kiss/like he did it to calm matty down from spiralling further and just.. comfort him? than it was about "lets piss people off!" even though that was there too, for sure... i dont know. i might be delusional, but thats just what the bidy language and everything was screaming to me??

AAAAAAH okay let me answer in order because you made two very separate points and they're both good and I'm obsessed.

1. Yes you're right, he was so fucking angry and in a way I hadn't seen him since... Don't let me say it please. (Belfast, it's Belfast.) There was so much rage in those words, and I know that part of it was him being protective of out queer members of the band + his personal conflict style, but... Idk, I see him. Very well. And that's not just allyship in my gay eyes.

2. 👁️👄👁️ A kiss to calm him down and tell him he's okay and that it's going to be okay? Honestly, yeah. The way Matty beckoned him but then Ross lead the entire thing like the boss he is. The way Ross grabbed and pulled him in and then kinda stilled them, and then the way they started swaying slowly like they were getting lost in it... Man. I've got chills thinking about it. It wasn't angry, that. It was comforting and tender and all kinds of intimate, some would argue way too intimate for a "protest".

[freeuselandonorris]

Overheard a conversation last weekend and the whole thing was “oh do you know Claire? Well Eve is the hotter sister like fuck she’s like celebrity hot. Do you follow her on insta? Get your phone out and show him. Now I know you’ll have already done it but zoom in on her tits. Yeah mate.”

And at one point talking about some other lassie “if you get a chance to fuck it. Fuck it” like just SO misogynistic and sexist and awful and it was just like ??? Is this genuinely how men view & talk about women?? Its so depressing

(I told my friend who is just like exactly the sort of girl they were talking about about and she was like “were they attractive enough to be saying that” as if the whole conversation isn’t massively ugly in itself and that just depressed me more)

oughhh anon ❤️ i’m sorry you had to listen to that shit.

so, look. being blunt? yeah, of course there are men who view women like that. i don’t think it’s always that overt and that aggressively misogynist (it??? i mean jesus) but these things exist on a spectrum. that’s kinda what i was riffing on with the drivers who’d fuck non-underwear models posts (which i’m guessing is what prompted you to send this to me specifically) — it’s not necessarily that all/most men have such extremely dehumanising views of women as the ones you overheard, but certainly there are a lot of men out there who can’t really conceive of women and femme people as anything other than decoration. people of all genders (as evidenced by your friend’s response) have a misogynistic tendency because that is how they, we, everyone is socialised in the western world (and elsewhere but i’m speaking to my own lived experience as a westerner here), to a lesser or greater extent, in the same way that we are all socialised to prioritise whiteness, heterosexuality and cisgendered existence. these are huge structural issues and other people have written extensively about them far better than i ever could.

but don’t fall into that mindset of thinking ‘all men think women are just meat to fuck’ because then you start expecting that behaviour from them, and if you expect it, you’ll excuse it. expect better. there ARE men out there who are actively doing the work, who understand that somebody’s gender doesn’t define them, and who do genuinely respect women (i.e. not because they think it’ll get them laid if they pretend hard enough). don’t expect and reward bare minimum behaviour.

to be completely honest, i rarely spend time around straight men anymore. when i go to clubs it’s queer clubs (not that there aren’t severe issues around misogyny in queer circles but it’s less of a meat market) or sex clubs that have a very strong focus on consent culture. my friends are largely queer or allies, very few of them identify with the kind of ‘straight male culture’ that is accepting of speaking about women in this way. as you get older and get more boundaried, it becomes easier in some ways to avoid this kind of mentality (although it’s impossible to avoid it entirely).

idk i feel like i’m rambling and not really making any coherent points here but in short, yes this is the way some men view women and it sucks and is horrendous! i think to exist as a woman or femme person you almost have to make peace with the threat of misogynist violence and deal with it in the best way you can (playing with this threat through things like CNC is actually a massive part of that for me) — not in the sense of excusing it, but because there’s nothing you can do to fully insulate yourself from it. what you CAN do is choose who you spend your time with, to some extent, and who you give your mental energy to, and the expectations you have for the people in your life.