#i swear i wrote fluff and the world isn't ending (more than usual)

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Time, mystical time (cutting me open, then healing me fine)

(Fluffly fic for Mikey's bday)

(Final tl HaruMai)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKEY, TODAY IS YOUR DAY FOR BEING A LIL SPOILED BRAT! (and lucky you, Haru is here to make it happen uwu)

And yes, I know for Haru bday I only gave him angst as a gift but since I can't compete with his worst bday in canon Mikey got fluff instead.

(link to ao3 in case someone wants to read it there)

Summary: Haruchiyo wasn’t the same person Mikey used to love — it was an objective fact that this was for the best.

(or Mikey being deeply in denial about his feelings for Haru)

Warnings: NONE! I swear it! Well, manga spoilers and a breave and not-graphic at all mention on some canon compliant violence from the final battle. Enjoy the fluff?

(English is not my first language, so be nice please 🙈)

“Can I light a small fire at least?” 

It was their first year of middle school and the day was definitely too windy for hiding on the rooftop. Haruchiyo dragged them here, complaining how exhausting it was having to avoid those “annoying airhead girls” who tried to give him chocolate. Mikey found it hilarious, especially because he knew none of those poor girls had a chance with his friend — he was undoubtedly gay. Still in the closet, but well, it was just a matter of time, right? 

Mikey rolled his eyes at this, of course that was Baji’s answer to fight the cold. To be honest, he felt tempted to agree — he had a weak spot for seeing those little fangs peeking out from his friend's grin. 

“Are you stupid? That would let them know we’re here! We’re supposed to be hiding, remember?” 

“And that’s absolutely the only reason why we shouldn’t start a fire on school grounds, clearly.”

That earned him a dismissive shrug from Baji and a sheepish smile from Haruchiyo — untainted and perfect. He burst into laughter, damn it, they were so chaotic. How could he live so many years without them by his side?

“Boohoo, poor you, being chased by pretty girls who want to give you food” 

“Not everyone thinks with their stomach, Keisuke.” Haruchiyo deadpanned as a comeback. “And you know I don’t like them.” 

There was something in the inflection of his voice — and the intense look he gave to Baji — that made Mikey feel like he was missing something. Right on cue, Baji babbled incoherently about forgetting something and quickly disappeared. 

“Weird.” He said nonchalantly. “Any idea of what the fuck was all that about?” 

He turned towards his friend — more than ready to make fun of Baji together — but his smile dropped at the sight.

The sight of Haruchiyo blushing like crazy, staring at the floor and holding out a box of what looked like homemade chocolates. 

“They’re filled with red bean jam!” 

Oh.

Oh.

“Ummm… Thanks?” 

Mikey mumbled uncomfortably, accepting the gift. His friend put who knows how many hours into making them, it would be wrong to dismiss his effort — nothing to do with the fact the filling was his favorite, obviously. 

He realized his mistake too late — when Haruchiyo finally looked up with eyes full of hope. Shit, this wasn’t supposed to happen — not yet! He thought he had a few more years to think of a proper way to reject him, why was this idiot confessing so soon? They were still kids for Christ’s sake! 

To be honest, it was probably his fault. Mikey spent the last four years making sure Haruchiyo knew he was one of his best friends, that he never felt left behind or an outsider. He gave him a safe place to run to when his family situation was too much — because unfortunately there were things that not even time leaping could fix — and talked with Shinichiro about it, hoping his big brother could give Takeomi a deserved slap on his wrist. He even begged Haruchiyo to be one of the Toman founders! 

Okay, so apparently helping his friend to be more confident and have  better self-esteem had some unexpected consequences — like the fact he had no reason to hide his feelings. Well, technically the amount of homophobia in Japan was a pretty good reason, but since when did Haruchiyo give a shit about social conventions? 

“Mikey?”

A soft whisper brought him back from his thoughts. Fuck, he had to say something, he had to think of a way of rejecting him without breaking his heart — at least no more than was inevitable.

“Look, Haru… You know you’re one of my best friends, right? Nothing can change that —”

“You’re rejecting me.” There wasn’t any trace of accusation in his voice, just a sad resignation that squeezed Mikey’s heart. “It’s fine, I know you don’t love me back but it was worth trying it.” 

Ouch, here was that word again.

“You don’t love me, this is just a silly crush. C’mon, don’t be so dramatic.” 

He probably deserved the deadly glare Haruchiyo gave him. He was being an arse, treating his friend’s first love like it meant nothing. But it was just that, his first love, and sooner or later Haruchiyo will get over it — because this time his love wasn’t intertwined with trauma or twisted by grief. 

“You’ll get over it, okay? Before you know, we’ll be laughing about this, you’ll see.”

“You don’t know that.”

Damn it, why did he have to be so stubborn? Why couldn't he understand that he deserved so much better than Mikey? 

“You might be the prettiest boy in school, but you’re too damn pushy!” Mikey groaned with frustration. “I’m trying to save our friendship here, don’t you see it?”

Fuck, he went too far — he was aware of it even before seeing the pain that crossed Haruchiyo’s eyes.

“Haru… I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” He tried to reach for him — to offer him one of those hugs that always seemed to bring him comfort — but the other boy moved away, biting his lower lip and avoiding to look at Mikey. He really fucked up bigly this time, didn’t he? He had to fix it somehow. 

“Okay, let’s make a deal.” Good, at least Haruchiyo was looking at him again. “If you still love me when we’re eighteen, ask me again. I promise I’ll take it seriously if you do it.”

“Deal!” The way Haruchiyo’s face lit up almost seemed like magic — completely mesmerizing.

Well, he made a weird face and lowered his voice saying the word ‘love’, but overall Mikey must have done a decent job. Or decent enough to have his friend jumping at him and accepting that wasted hug.

Mikey sighed with relief and didn’t hesitate in wrapping his arms around Haruchiyo’s middle. The warmth of his body felt nice and comfortable — of course it did, they were outside at the end of February. 

“...the prettiest…” 

He didn’t caught Haruchiyo’s whisper, but he forgot about it the moment the other boy started playing with his hair. Sue him for enjoying being pampered, alright? They were friends, friends were affectionate with each other. This was totally fine. 

Mikey groaned when his obnoxious alarm brought him back from dreamland. Why on Earth did he have to dream with this memory precisely today? Okay, probably because it was his eighteenth birthday — no, it was stupid and it didn’t make sense. No way Haruchiyo would still remember it, it was nothing more than a silly promise between kids that didn’t mean anything. 

It wasn’t like Mikey was secretly wishing for him to keep his word — not at all. He had no reason for it, no romantic feelings for Haruchiyo to justify his greedy desire. That was a lie, and he knew it. He loved Haruchiyo — obviously he did — but it was in another timeline, this was only the echo from back then. It had to be. 

Haruchiyo wasn’t the same person Mikey used to love — of course he wasn’t, he was free from all those traumatic memories, of having more than one timeline inside his brain. It was for the best, Mikey knew it.

That thing they had during Kanto Manji wasn’t healthy for anyone involved. Mikey was too selfish, too scared, unable to call it what it was. He had the guts to forbid Haruchiyo to say it too — always taking more and more, never asking why the other stayed just in case that would break the illusion. He should’ve asked — he should’ve cared more — instead of letting him carry all that pain alone. 

And Haruchiyo? He was the opposite. Always giving more and more, erasing parts of himself in order to fit into what he thought Mikey wanted from him — in order to be by his king's side. Sinking into darkness, little by little, twisting his own morals to be able to bear with his crimes. Haruchiyo could be sweet and caring in the morning — always attentive to Mikey’s needs — brushing his hair while whispering soothing words to calm him from the latest nightmare. Only to later bash his little sister's head with a metal pipe, attempt vehicular manslaughter and actually murder someone from the same gang. All for Mikey, always for Mikey. 

It was an objective fact that this was for the best.

He sighed and finally got out of bed, right on time to open the door of his room before his sister knocked on it. Her surprised face was totally worth it, but the way Emma hugged him and ruffled his hair was a thousand times better — another year he had all of his siblings by his side.

“Happy birthday sleepyhead.” She laughed freely, so beautifully alive. “Haruchiyo is already waiting for you.”

“Shit!” 

Mikey pulled away from the hug and rushed towards the kitchen. Damn it, why did he have to be so punctual? Not like he could get really mad, especially when he entered the room and saw Haruchiyo’s face lit up once he spotted him.

“Happy birthday, Mikey!” He was about to grumble for the loud tone, when he got gently pushed into the chair and was greeted by a fresh cup of coffee.

“...morning.” 

He took a long sip of his coffee, silently blessing Haruchiyo’s sixth sense to always know what he needed — that was one of the aspects in which he was the same. Mikey would be lying if he said he wasn’t glad, but at least this time he tried to also pay attention to his friend’s moods. He liked to think that he got to know him better, to read him better — even if he was fully aware part of the merit was due to Haruchiyo being more open in general.

For example, he could tell Haruchiyo was nervous by the way he kept fidgeting with his earrings. The mischievous glint in his eyes let Mikey know it was a good type of nerves — excitement probably. 

“Where is Baji?” He asked absentmindedly, taking a big bite of his pancakes.

“He said something about feeding stray cats or whatever.” 

It was a blatant lie, he could perfectly tell. They had the annual tradition that Haruchuyo and Baji were always the ones in charge of distracting Mikey during the day, while everyone else prepared his not-surprise birthday party. Maybe Baji was doing something related to it? Weird, but he knew his friend wouldn’t miss their day together without a good reason — so no need to overthink it.

In less than ten minutes, Mikey had gobbled down his breakfast — earning a judging face from Emma and an adorable chuckle from his friend. No, not adorable, what the fuck was wrong with him today? Luckily, he didn’t have the time to dwell on this thought before Haruchiyo dragged him towards their bikes. 

“Where?” He was sure Haruchiyo had something planned.

“The cove.”

“Haru, you hate the beach, you’re always complaining how you end up with sand everywhere and how it makes you too sweaty.” 

“That’s why we don’t go there for my birthday.” He deadpanned. “You love that place and I came prepared for the stupid sand, don’t worry.”

Mikey laughed at that — so that was why Haruchiyo brought a backpack. He should have known, his friend always thought ahead about those types of details. Another one of these things where Haruchiyo was the same, though he preferred when it was against the beach than rival gangs. It was still for Mikey, wasn’t it?

“Alright then.” He jumped on his babu and started the engine. “Don’t go too slow!”

The ride felt too short, even if it actually took them almost an hour to get there. It was worth it, the cove was almost empty — that was why Mikey loved this particular spot. Away from people, the sound of the waves lulled his mind while the salty smell of the sea breeze calmed his senses. 

“Thanks, you were right about coming here.” He smiled happily towards Haruchiyo — who was already placing a blanket on the sand and wearing a ridiculously big straw hat to protect his delicate skin from the sunrays. His cheeks shouldn’t look so flushed with that on his head, same way he shouldn’t look so pretty with it either. Shit, what was this feeling? 

“What else did you bring?” He asked, trying to distract himself from his totally platonic thoughts towards one of his best friends.

“Here.” Haruchiyo took out a couple of cans of soda and a tupperware full of…

“Taiyakis?” His eyes widened with surprise, opening the container as soon as he had it in his hands — they looked homemade. “Did you make them?”

“Obviously.” 

No, it wasn’t that obvious — or maybe it was considering who he was talking to. He took a bite almost with reverence, still bewildered by Haruchiyo’s gesture. 

“Damn, this tastes amazing!” He swallowed before talking again. “Are you sure you want to be a youtuber? You’d be a hell of a baker, Haru. Your sweets are always the best, I swear.”

“Nah, I only enjoy cooking when it’s for you.” 

Mikey could feel his cheeks burning at these words — he knew it wasn’t because of the sun. He liked the idea that it was only for him, that this side of Haruchiyo belonged only to him. He liked it too damn much, that was the whole problem. Why did Haruchiyo keep throwing these statements out so casually? Did he really not notice how it became more difficult for Mikey to pretend he wasn’t head over heels for him or what? 

Fuck.

He was about to start panicking when Haruchiyo talked with a smug tone, like he knew something Mikey didn’t. 

“You know… they’re filled with red bean jam!” 

“What did you just say?” 

No, it couldn’t be. It had to be a coincidence — even if it was the exact same words and it felt absurd to specify that about taiyakis. He almost dropped the sweet when Haruchiyo brushed away a lock of Mikey’s hair — no way the gesture was casual when it felt that intimate and tender. 

“Haru?” His voice sounded equally insecure and hopeful. 

“We’re both eighteen now.” Mikey nodded at that, staring at him like an idiot. “Do I really need to say it again or did you finally believe it?”

He blinked in disbelief a few times — barely resisting the urge to pinch his own cheek. No way Haruchiyo actually waited years without any guarantee that his feelings would ever be requited.

“Again.” He whispered. “Please.”

“I love you, Mikey. It’s not a silly crush and it didn’t go away for almost a decade, so can —?”

Mikey didn’t let him finish — there was no need, they both knew. As usual, he had been too scared to admit it even to himself. Also as usual, Haruchiyo had been too stubborn to give up on his feelings. 

So why should he waste another second before kissing those lips that he missed so fucking much? Judging by the way Haruchiyo wrapped his arms around him and brought him closer, the way his lips parted eagerly or that muffled moan he did within the kiss… He definitely agreed with Mikey. 

There was no more room for doubts — it was about damn time. 

[just-jordie-things]

Spread love to fanfic writers! I am curious about your answers to these questions!

Name a fic you loved writing the most. Name a fic that others loved but you didn’t care for as much. Name a fic you had the most fun writing. Name a fic that you are the most proud of. Name a fic that you wish had gotten more recognition. Name your happiest/saddest/most comedic fics!

I LOVE THESE SORTS OF THINGS!!! sorry i've been so inactive, got a really full plate rn, thank you all for your patience and understanding <3 ___

a fic i loved writing the most: romantic incidents - inumaki toge. when i wrote it it was mostly because there wasn't enough content of him on this app and holy shit did it blow up and get so much more love than i ever could've expected !! i swear that fic put me on the map lmao

a fic that others loved but i didn't care for as much: blue orchids and white lies - nanami kento. i gave writing for him my best shot but i can't help but feel like i didn't characterize him very well. i would like to formally apologize to the nanami girlies and nanami kento himself.

a fic i had the most fun writing: video games - takuma ino every trope in this was fun for me!! roommates, crushing, flirting, eee!! it was fluff

a fic that i am the most proud of: to build a home - gojo satoru idk if this counts bc it's a series but i put so much time and effort into outlining it and y'all i never draft fics i just write from the heart and send it off into the world XD

a fic i wish had gotten more recognition: shades of cool - zen'in naoya... but i totally get why there isn't exactly a hoarde of fangirls for him lmfaooo he's terrible and i'm sick in the head for writin for him

happiest fic: you know you got me in your pocket - okkotsu yuuta. hard to pick this one but i think the vibes of this one was just so soft and fluffy the whole read :)

saddest fic: stuck between the blackest day- fushiguro megumi and no surprises - okkotsu yuuta. they're both bittersweet/happy endings but the subject matter is pretty dark compared to my usual stuff!

most comedic fic: bad at flirting - fushiguro megumi HANDS DOWN i nailed second hand embarassment with this one

___

thanks again for sending me this!! i'm always down to talk about my fics with y'all <3

[lovelyminnieee]

Without you- J.J.H

Pairing: Jaehyun x reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Car accident mentions, mentions of death, father!Jaehyun, Coma, mentions of losing a loved one

Summary: Jaehyun doesn't want to deal with life anymore. Without you there to hug him, or tell him it was okay to cry, he didn't want to even come home, unless it was for his daughter. He missed you, so much he could go crazy. Maybe you will never come back, he hasn't lost hope yet. Will you be able to comeback to him and your daughter's lives again?

A/n: this is my first fic on my account, feedbacks would be deeply appreciated. Uh, I am a little nervous to post it, but please do give me feedbacks. And the paragraphs written in italics are memories

❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎❄︎

It's been 3 years. Three years without you. There wasn't one day where he didn't think of you. Your daughter and the way she reminds him of you. He's tired of it, tired of life. Without you there to comfort him, tell him it's okay to cry, he's tired.

"Eun ha, we have to get to school!" Jaehyun shouts from one end of the apartment, packing her lunch. "Coming daddy!" His daughter waddles over to him, struggling to put her shoes on. "Let me do it," Jaehyun said as he picked her up and put her on the table. He smiles as he puts her shoes on quickly, placing her down after. "Let's go, okay baby?" Jaehyun holds her little hand, her bag in his other hand.

Jaehyun opened the door to the apartment and sighed. An empty home was not really welcoming. You weren't there to hug him, tell him that you love him. His habits haven't changed, he sat down on the couch and pulled out his phone.

"I miss you so fucking much..."

He texted your number. He missed you so much, he was going crazy. He closed his eyes, trying to hold tears bay. He sent you a picture of Eun ha in her dress up outfit. Like a princess.

"Look at Eun ha, she looks so pretty. Just like you baby"

His fingers type, the memories flooding in. He took you for granted while you were there, and that is the thing he regrets the most in life. 

"I understand, but you can't just ignore me like that, Jae," you said, angry. He was ignoring you for the past few days, and you had no idea why. He said it was because of work, but he wasn't there at work during work hours. "No Jae, you're not working, you're somewhere else during work hours," you said, your eyes staring at him. Jaehyun paused for a minute, speechless. He was preparing something special for you, and that was the reason. "I- I was-" Jaehyun sighed. You were getting on his nerves. "Y/n, just leave me alone. You don't understand," he said and walked away, frustrated at your behaviour. You didn't know why you got angry so quickly, you were usually so calm and collected during arguments. "So now you want me to leave you alone?" You scoffed. Jaehyun turned around and stared at you. "Isn't that what I just said?" He stares back at you. "So it's completely okay for you to go out during work hours? And ignore me when you come home? What the fuck, Jae?" You raised your voice a little. "Can you not right now? I'm frustrated, Y/n." Jaehyun tried to keep his cool. "Jae, I've been dealing with so many things, do you think you're the only one who deals with stress?" You ask him, tears swelling in your eyes. Jaehyun closed his eyes, trying to stay collected. Maybe you had a reason to be mad this quick. "You might as well be cheating on me, or lying to me. And what not-"

"WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS Y/N?-"

"BECAUSE I WANTED TO TELL YOU I WAS PREGNANT, JAE!"

Jaehyun went silent. His heart pounded in his chest at the news. Well, that certainly wasn't a good way to release the news. She was pregnant? He thought.

"You're what?"

"You know what, nevermind," you walked away, wiping your tears. Jaehyun ran up to you and hugged you from behind. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Jaehyun whispered, kissing your neck softly. "I'm hurt, Jae." You whispered, your voice cracking. "I'm so sorry," he said, his hands softly resting over your tummy. Jaehyun's face ceased into a smile, continuing to press his lips against your neck. "I'm going to be a father," Jaehyun's eyes teared up as he twirled you around and kissed you softly. Everything felt unreal at that moment. He was going to be a dad. His heart swelled in happiness, pulling your waist closer to him.

"I'm so sorry about everything. I love you so much"

He pressed the send button, his eyes tearing up.

"Please come back to me, to Eun ha"

Tears ran down his cheeks and his world darkened again. Three years of torture. Three years without you. He doesn't know how he's going to manage. He shifted on the couch, staring mindlessly at the ceiling. "I miss you so much, Y/N." He whispered, holding his tears in. He had to visit you at the hospital soon, so he put his emotions aside for a moment and got up. He walked to his room and changed in a few minutes, grabbing his bag and walking out the door.

"Hi baby, I'm here," he whispers softly, walking closer to your bed. Your parents had been taking care of you for the past two days because he was busy, but now that he's here, he wants to tell you everything. He knows you're listening, unable to talk. "How are you, love? Is everything okay? Does it hurt?" He asks, gently caressing your hands. He misses your whiny self. Whatever he said, the room was so silent when it was supposed to be filled with your sweet voice. He sighs and closes his eyes, trying to hold in his emotions. "I miss you so much," his voice comes out as a broken whisper. "I can't do this anymore. I can't do this without you, please come back, I'm sorry," he cries, holding your hand close to him. Jaehyun remembers the day the accident happened.

"I'll meet you at home, babe. I love you," he said, cutting the call with a smile on his face. "You make me feel so single," Johnny whispers from his work desk, sighing. "Come on, John. You can bag girls if you try," Jaehyun chuckled as he put on his jacket. "Lucky, you get to go home early while I'm stuck with hyuck, great." Johnny rolls his eyes. Jaehyun just chuckles, walking out of his shared office space.

"So, how was work today?" Jaehyun asked, his eyes focused on the road. "Bad, all that man had to say was I did a bad job and screamed at me. The audacity," you scoffed on the other side of the phone. "Which man? The manager or the CEO?"

"Of course it has to be the manager. He's so annoying I swear," you sighed.

"Oh well, I'll ask him to shut the fuck up next time so he won't annoy you, okay?"

"Ew that was so cheesy, Jae," you cringed behind the phone. Before Jaehyun could even process your reply, loud crashes and screams were heard. He called for you repeatedly, only to realise that you weren't replying.

"I'm so sorry, if I hadn't distracted you, you would still be here for me." Jaehyun cries hard. He looks up at you to see tears running down the side of your face. "Sssh, don't cry," he said, wiping your tears and letting his hand rest on your face. He places a soft kiss on your forehead, his heart hurting at the sight of you. You laid in the bed, limp and pale. "Hey, you know..." He sniffled. "I met your manager on my way here today," he smiled, trying to get the mood better.

"And then, she was trying to write C, but Eun ha wrote it like it was mirrored," Jaehyun giggles softly, his hand still caressing yours. Your hands felt warm to him, and it was the best thing in the world to him. Just as he was about to let the unknown tears in his eyes fall, he felt something. He felt your hand move. His gaze snapped to your hands, which once moved. "Baby, can you do that again for me?" He says hastily, trying not to cry. And he sees a movement, yet again. "Wait for me, I'll go get the doctors, okay?" He says and hurries out of the room, holding himself together. He will come apart any second, but now was not the time.

Doctors rush in and out of the room as Jaehyun watches from the side, tears falling. He had called his mother and asked her to pick Eun ha up from school, just so that he can stay with you longer. "Mr. Jeong?" The doctor called. Jaehyun's cloudy gaze snapped to the doctor, hurrying over to the man. His first clenches in the anticipation of the news as the doctor smiles. "This is the first time I've seen something like this. Her senses are responding to the tests, after a full three years." The doctor tells him. "Is that good?" Jaehyun askes, sniffling. "Yes. Mrs. Jeong's health seems to be progressing so much more than the last three years, she has a higher chance of recovering from the coma for a week or so," Dr. Cho assures him, patting him on the shoulder before he leaves. Jaehyun stares at you for a moment before he comes closer to you. "Hey baby, you're gonna come back to me and Eun ha, aren't you?" Jaehyun asks softly, tears welling in his eyes yet again. "You will, I know it." He kissed your forehead again.

The hopeful week was crucial. Jaehyun visits you everyday of the week with Eun ha, trying his best to make you happy. He'd give his life up for you because what he and his daughter needed the most during this time was you. He had to go to work nevertheless, but you would never be left without a visitor. Mostly being his or your parents and your kid, or him and Eun ha. He was hopeful until the last day of the week rolled over, and he got a call from the doctor.

"Mr. Jeong, I need to talk to you as fast as possible."

"Is there a problem, Dr. Cho?"

He hears a sigh from the other side that sends fear through him.

"We need to talk as fast as possible. Can you make it to the hospital now?"

"Of course, give me 30 minutes, doc,"

Jaehyun cut the call, panic settling within him.

"Johnny, please take care of this document for me. I just got a call from Dr. Cho. I need to go, okay?"

"Yes sir, don't worry about it,"

Johnny said, gesturing to him to hurry on his way. Jaehyun rushed out of the building, getting into his car in no time. In fifteen minutes, he was there at the hospital. He found the same office he's been visiting for the last three years in a couple of minutes, panting as he barged in through the door.

"I was expecting you, Mr. Jeong," Dr. Cho said, sitting upright. He had a bad feeling about what he was going to hear. "I need you to sit down and take a deep breath," the doctor said, sympathy marked in his eyes. Jaehyun sat down hesitatingly, staring at the doctor.

"Would you like something to drink or...?"

"Cut the crap, Dr. Cho,"

Jaehyun snapped. The man just sighed, looking him in the eye. "Your wife, Mrs. Jeong, was pronounced brain dead over 20 minute ago. She had a stroke which caused the brain to stop working," Jaehyun's broken world came crashing down in a few seconds as soon as he heard the news.

"What?"

"Sir, you need to calm-"

"No no no, she hasn't died yet. She can't die yet. You said she was making steady progress, YOU SAID SHE MIGHT WAKE UP, WHY CHANGE YOUR WORDS NOW?!" Jaehyun asked, tears running down his cheeks.

"Jaehyun, listen. It was a stroke that prompted brain death. We can keep her on a machine which pumps oxygen onto her organs which will keep her warm, but it won't do anything,"

"Can you step out for a minute?" Jaehyun asked him, his voice soft. "Of course," the doctor said, moving on his way out.

Jaehyun takes in the news, tears pouring out of his eyes. All he asked for was you and God denied. Great, he hopes that he at least gets to see you one last time. He stepped out of the doctor's office with red eyes and nose. "Can I see her for the last time?" Jaehyun requests, to which the doctor agrees. Tears kept flowing on his way to the room, wiping then with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Go on in," the doctor says, gesturing at the door. Jaehyun holds onto the handle and hesitates before sliding the door open. He keeps his eyes locked on to the floor and when he does lift his eyes, surprise strikes him. You were up, alive and well. Jaehyun blinks before wiping his eyes and looking again. "Jae..." His name rolls off your tongue, bringing him back to earth. He didn't say anything, but he rushed to you and engulfed you in a big hug. He held you close to him, not letting go. It's not like you wanted to let go either. "Jae..." You said, letting your head rest on his shoulder, arms wrapped around him tightly. "I missed you so much," he whispered, breaking into tears again. "God, you're so warm. I missed this so much," you say softly. He missed your voice so much. Jaehyun pulls back gently and stares at your famished face, wiping your tears. "I love you so much, so much," he said, cupping your cheeks in his hands. Your tears ran down again, you missed him so much.

"So what was that?" Jaehyun questions the doctor, glaring at him. "Well uh, your wife had a special request," the doctor smiles, looking away after. "Cho Si-hyeon, I will smack you," he glares, shooting lasers through his eyes. "Hey! Yell at her, not me!" Si-hyeon, his fellow classmate who was a year older than him exclaimed, pointing at you. "No," Jaehyun said, kissing you all over your face as you giggled softly. "She needs to get physiotherapy for her legs and you can go home after," Si-hyeon says, watching them both enjoy each other's presence. "Mhm, 'kay. What else?" Jaehyun said, his gaze fixed on you. "This is disgusting. Bye, I can't stand it," Si-hyeon scrunched his face, leaving the room. "Tsk, he's just jealous that I have such a pretty wife," Jaehyun says and places a small kiss on your lips. "Oh well," you whispered, pulling him into a soft and we'll needed kiss, for both.

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Taglist: @sparklysung @trying-to-love-myself

[dinner-djarin]

dar'manda (Mando x f!reader insert)

Prologue

(Inspired by this scene)

Summary: You've been working as a merchant on Nevarro for years now, only out of necessity. Life really wasn't going your way. At least until the Mandalorian came by your booth. Now he's all you think about, and soon he'll be even more.

Warnings: Probably some swearing (real and in universe), violence (eventually), smut (eventually), No use of Y/N, slowburn/fluff (for the first little while)

Notes: Takes place at the end of season 1, and will mostly take place between season one and two. I have been sitting on this for a while due to some fear about reception by the fandom, but honestly I just need to stop thinking about it so here we go. She's going out into the world, and I hope you enjoy. (Also I wrote this prologue like 2 months ago so it isn't quite where I'd like it to be but if you read this please just stick with me, I swear my writing gets better lol)

You don’t know how long it’s been since you last saw him. Weeks? Months? But you can’t get that damn tin can out of your head.

You really have no reason to be this hung up on him. He’s barely spoken to you, you’ve never even seen his face, so it should be easy enough to move on from whatever childish infatuation you have over him. Right? Maker, what kind of person crushes on a mask and a suit of armour?

But there’s something about him, something that keeps him planted in your subconscious. You’ve tried to find the words to explain it, but nothing ever comes close. You can't even begin to understand how this man has completely overtaken your every waking thought.

He used to come by every couple of weeks, and you’d savour every delectable minute of the interaction, but that was all before shit hit the fan of course. You weren't there to see it but when you came back to work the next day it was all anyone could talk about.

“Apparently the metal man broke some Guild rule, and practically all of the other bounty hunters tried to kill him for it.” You heard over your shoulder. As much as you liked to keep to yourself, you couldn’t help form eavesdropping on a conversation between merchants. You did have a guilty pleasure for drama, probably to fill the uneventful void that your mundane life had now become.

“The Mandalorian? He broke their code then!” one exclaimed.

“I heard he went back for a bounty,” someone else whispered.

“What could make someone do something so stupid?” questioned a merchant lady you already didn’t particularly like.

“He doesn’t strike me as stupid,” you interrupt, trying to stick up for the man you were currently enamoured with. “If he did it, there must be a valid reason.”

“If he did it?” She sneered. “Do you not see the damage he left behind? People will be out of business for sure. It’ll take weeks to clean up the mess he made.”

“Then I guess I hope it was worth it. That it wasn't in vain.” You state, putting an end to the conversation. You hoped the man – that you already liked against your better judgement – wouldn’t cause so much harm without some justification.

In the wake of his rebellion, a covert of other masked hunters revealed themselves, shot up the town, and then vanished without a word. And so did your Mandalorian.

Woah hold on. Not yours. Just one random Mandalorian that you’ve said a handful of words to and have harboured a secret crush over.

From the second you saw him you pretty much knew you were screwed. Between the husky modulated voice, and the broad as hell shoulders, there was pretty much no way to quell the instant attraction that rose up in you. His presence alone was suffocating. Nothing could stop the way your vocal cords tightened to the point of forcing out a soft squeal at his sight. The whole time he talked to you, you could feel his visor latch onto your body – pinning you to the spot.

You thought you might find some relief when he left. Quite the opposite. You couldn't help but gawk at the way his body moved, like he knew he was hot shit. He took your damn breath away. And you were glad to know that he couldn't see your lips part to let out a soft moan, or the way they pursed back together as you unconsciously swallowed the suddenly copious amount of saliva pooling in your mouth. Fucking delicious, you thought, shamelessly.

Maybe it was the fact that you knew he could take anyone down in milliseconds. He was untouchable, and this latest defiance proved that. No one crossed the Guild. Well, no one crossed the Guild and got away with it. But if anyone could, it would be Mando.

And there’s another thing. You don’t even know his name. Which means that you’re forced to call him the colloquial slang that is commonly used by outsiders of the Mandalorian culture. “Mando”. You couldn’t help but think about how it almost sounded like an insult, especially when slurred from the mouth of other criminals. You hated the way people spat the word out at him, obviously trying to get him worked up; to see what he was made of. It made you desperately wish that you had a better name to call him, his real name. An intimate piece of knowledge that you could hold on to, something of him that no one else had.

Maybe that made you selfish. Even so, there was so much you wished you knew about him. He was a complete mystery.

To be fair, he probably didn’t even know your own name. You can't recall him asking for it, or if you ever introduced yourself. You were pretty much a bumbling mess the first time you met him. To the point where even if you had tried to say your name it probably would have sounded like you were speaking Huttese. Although, who could blame you. It wasn’t very conventional to introduce yourself to every customer. The people on Nevarro usually kept to themselves, especially the bounty hunters. There wasn’t much room for ‘customer service’. But damn you wish you had tried to make some sort of introduction. Even if it had come out as incoherent nonsense, you think it may have made talking to him later a bit easier.

However, none of that matters if he never comes back, and you bet he won’t. He’s smarter than that. To pull what he did, he’s probably on the other side of the galaxy right now.

Even so, you’ll miss the shared awkward silences and stolen glances that came with each of his visits. Whenever he’d come into the shop, he’d list off what he needed to stock up on, using the most deep and captivating voice you think you’d ever heard. If he hadn’t had that helmet covering his face, you’d swear he stared right into your soul as he did so. It almost made you weak in the knees every damn time. You’d then rummage through each supply crate and gather the best quality of every item, and finally – just to bring your humiliation to an all-time high – you’d give him a discount for absolutely no discernible reason. He took notice of the reduced price the first time and thanked you, only for you to be berated by your boss once he left. Eventually, to your dismay, the niceties came to a halt. Maybe he forgot what full price was, maybe he just couldn’t care less.

Either way, it looks like you’d risked your job for the last time. It’s a shame. For a planet full of bounty hunters and hardened criminals, there’s actually not a lot to entertain you. A shootout here, an escaped bounty there, but nothing that satisfied your desire for an exciting lifestyle.

The closest you got to that would be each time some wide-eyed, eager, wannabe-bounty-hunter strolled through town looking for a chance to weasel their way up the ladder of the Guild. They definitely thought they were more important than they actually were, and they always made a point of showing off for you. Not that you were anything special, just the closest thing with cleavage usually. They’d probably brag about their rank and their kill counts, things you could not care less about. A few of them actually had the balls to ask you out, but it usually only ended in a free meal or drink. To be fair though that was very intentional on your part. It was fun to play the part of a flirtatious girl from the market for a while, and almost exciting to think about how you were completely screwing over those assholes.

Over the time you’ve spent alone in the galaxy you learned exactly how to read those kinds of people. You knew just how far to go, just what to say or do until you got what you needed. As much as you weren’t a fan of physical affection, you often brushed your target's arm or thigh, played with their hair, or if the situation really demanded it – madeout with them behind the cantina. But you always made a point of stopping before things got too far. You may not be a complete saint, but you knew none of the scumbags you met were worth your time.

You wouldn’t have allowed things to go any further. Not with them. Going any further could only be a letdown, and you were fine to take those matters into your own hands…. literally. You may be a complete flirt, but only as a skill to survive in this grimy and dangerous galaxy. You learned early on that being young and female was a vulnerability. That was at least until you discovered how that vulnerability could be shaped into one of your most valuable strengths.

When you think about him though… well something about him made your entire badass facade disappear into thin air. You lost any cool you had the minute he walked past your vendor. Not to mention that there was something else about him that told you he’d see right through it anyway. Maybe it was the visor. Some special setting to read the level of bullshit.

As far as you’ve seen, he doesn’t take anyone’s shit. He definitely isn’t the type to make others feel comfortable in a conversation. He says precisely what he needs to get his point across, nothing more. Never once had you heard him use more than 10 words at a time.

On a few occasions you were lucky enough to end up in the cantina at the same time as him. Whether you were on a break or entertaining some dead-beat for free lunch, you remember how fast your heart would beat when the glint of his helmet met your vision. You wondered if he noticed your presence, or if he even recognized you away from your vendor at the market.

One time you were in the next booth over. Your spine straightened, and your whole body shivered when he slid into his seat and placed himself directly behind you. The proximity was electrifying. It made every neuron in your body fire rapidly and your blood vessels pump impossibly fast. You were probably supposed to be listening to the slimeball buying your drinks drone on about how impressive his last capture was, but the baritone emanating from behind ensnared every ounce of focus you had.

“I’ll take the highest pay” he muttered through the modulator.

“I do have other hunters, Mando. I can’t always guarantee you get the best of the lot.” replied his employer. A smile maintained on his face even when confronting an unforgiving barricade.

“I’m sure you do. But high price means high risk.” Mando responded. His employer’s confused silence forced him to continue. “Those skilled enough to take on the bounties know better than to do so.”

The Guild leaders' laughter bounced off the walls making many patrons turned their heads, while others continued their business, obviously being used to this behaviour.

You were left puzzled in that moment, completely baffled by this interaction. It wasn't until much later that night when it finally clicked. Although you didn’t know exactly how ranking in the Guild worked, you knew Mando was up there. He had the status to strike fear into almost every other bounty hunter he outranked. Mando had staked his claim long ago, and no one in the Guild was stupid enough to try and take a bounty from him. If he wanted something, he was going to get it.

You’d remember that interaction vividly. Not only because of how close you were to the Mandalorian as you overheard it, but also in service as a reminder to you, proving just how dominant he was in this world. He held power over every member of the Guild, including its leader, whether he wanted to admit it or not. You felt idiotic for not instantly understanding the control he wielded wherever he went. Sometimes it's a wonder how completely oblivious you could be.

Although you certainly were not oblivious to the drastic upgrade he got just before leaving. If you thought Mando was intimidating before, his new head to toe silver armour was sure to strike fear into any of his prey. You remember thinking you saw his reflection pass by earlier in the day, but he quickly dissolved into the shadows, as he often found a way of doing. However, later that night when you had just gotten off from work, he strolled back into the cantina for a new batch of bounties and all eyes were drawn to him. Most eyes were filled with jealousy since – as his employer made clear – he completed the job none of them could. They were probably even more enraged by the fact that he wore his reward back into the room, when most of them would have gladly taken that metal to the highest bidder and sold it for a hefty profit. However, you saw him differently than the rest. Your eyes were fixed on him in fear and in wonder. This metal man, already a force of nature, just became that much more impossible to defeat. As if anything could get to him before, it was clear now that no one could reach the Mandalorian.

But again – it doesn't matter. Not a single soul on Canto Bight would bet his shiny ass walks back into this sector. Not unless he has some kinda death wish…

Turns out he has some kinda death wish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1 is up now!

More notes: Hello there! I hope you enjoyed this lovely mess. I'm not the most proud of it, but I do want to continue this story (which I know we've all read 100 iterations of by now). Either way, I'm having fun writing it, so I might as well post it!

I'd love a like or comment if you'd be willing to share, I'm very new to writing so I'd enjoy any constructive criticism (especially on the first few parts, I know they need work, but at this point I just want to stop thinking about it and continue on with the story). Also this will be ongoing, so if you wanna keep reading feel free to drop your @ in my inbox or in the comments and I can tag you when I update!

So long for now my fellow helmet whores!

[shadowsong26fic]

Writing meme question: 2, 7, and 9. (If it isn't too much) :D

Nope, not at all too much :D

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

...hmmmmmmmmmm...that is a good question, lol. Uh, I’m not necessarily coming up with anything specific? Although I guess there is some stuff that I mostly do in either RP contexts or very private self-indulgent nonsense that it might be nice to treat Properly, so to speak. Things like self-indulgent crossovers and/or AU concepts, random things like wingfic/bonded creatures/etc. (though only in certain contexts and usually fitting those into an otherwise-canon universe), certain H/C tropes...also, not really tropes, but there’s a couple of rarepairs that I’d love to see more of (for which I’d pretty much have to write it myself lol) but either because I’m not sure I have a handle on the character voices involved or just because...pairing-focused stuff is not really where my fic brain lives for the most part, lol.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Oooooh, this is a hard one. Uh. Let’s go with this, from a short story set in one of my original worlds, The Farglass Cycle (previously known as Feredar):

The Audience Hall, at least, seemed to be mirrored rather than clear, other than the dais ahead of her. It gave the impression that Queen Kesshare was floating, rather than sitting, when the light hit her right. As if chairs and floors were for mere mortals, like her consort beside her, not for the iron-hard desert Queen with her dark hawk's eyes and deceptively simple and soft-looking silver gown. She looked like a bronze-gilt statue of a harsh Goddess of the Dead, and Sheminne didn't have to be a performer to know that every aspect of the Queen's clothing, posture, Hall, down to her husband slightly behind her, in shadow, on a more-solid throne, the fact that the cavernous room, with its graceful columns and shimmering floor was entirely empty save for the three of them and a handful of silent bodyguards... It was calculated for exactly that impression of ultimate power and doom.

There are some things I would edit here--I know that my Main Writing Flaw is run-on sentences/overuse and abuse of commas, semicolons, emdashes, ellipses...you name it, I love it. [Hi, we’re the Neverending Sentences, and we’ll be here all night]

...anyway, I’m aware of that weakness of mine, and I think I’d do some more editing here (I wrote this...yeesh, nearly ten years ago; and it sticks out as particularly run-on).

But what I like about this is that...I’m also not super good at description? (Like, for example, the fact that I have yet to describe Dr. Naar in Precipice is not only because I still haven’t made up my mind as to whether he’s Human or Besalisk; it’s also at least partly because fitting in descriptions like that is Awkward and I Don’t Like Doing It, lol).

This is, I think, one of my better efforts at description. It tells you pretty much everything you need to know about Kesshare (who, fun fact, is Not actually the villain in this story; but if other events abroad hadn’t upstaged her, she would absolutely be the villain of another story). And it gives you at least a little bit about the nation she rules (the Kingdom of the City of Glass; usually just referred to as Glass or the City of Glass), and something of its wealth/power/relationship with other nations.

Also, see here for a picture I commissioned of Kesshare awhile ago, mostly using the above passage as a reference, lol. (Kesshare is the top picture; the bottom is Taz, another character from the same story).

((Honorable mention, because they’ve been in my head lately either because characters or topic: a bunch of stuff from our faces like a mirror; both in terms of a few key moments that made Bo-Katan into who and what she became when we the audience meet her in TCW, as well as some things about her relationship with Satine and their respective philosophies; a couple snippets of miscellaneous AU bits (like this one, lol)...but I like this one, and it’s nice to draw attention to some of my original stuff sometimes, y’know?))

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Oooooh, good question. Uh. Different things are hard for different reasons? I don’t think any fic has ever been Super Easy (except actually maybe The Devoted; that one flowed pretty smooth once I really got going). So, I guess...I’ll cycle through some of my other SW longfic projects and quick answer because Why Not:

Precipice has its ups and downs, depending on topic and focus. Arc Six was I think the hardest (despite the fact that Arc Seven has taken For Ever to get out, lol), between I’m not good at Sustained Fluff and Saw is a pain in the butt even if I wasn’t using his POV. (I swear, the next/final chapter Will Be Out Soon; I have...like...3-4 hours of work left on it which I swear I’m not using this meme to procrastinate <.< ...of course, then I have all the sequel/interquel stuff planned lol I’m sure I’ll have more Ups And Downs to complain about in the future)

our faces like a mirror, which I mentioned in the last answer, I’ve been working on on and off for, like, three years; it’s hard to balance Bo and Satine’s points of view without vilifying either; also because there is like zero canon definition of the period I’m writing about, there’s a lot of whitespace to fill in. It’s almost closer to writing original fiction in that way--I mean, I don’t have to do the heavy lifting of worldbuilding, and I am focusing on fleshing out something we have a hint of in canon that drew my attention (i.e., how did these two end up where they were/with such diametrically opposite beliefs/what is/was their relationship as sisters; how did bo-katan survive the mandalorian civil war since she pretty clearly was not with satine and the jedi; how much do their separate experiences during that time affect them/inform their future behavior (spoiler: A LOT)); but a lot of the specific events/storyline and even some of the characterization of these two women is pretty much built from scratch.

Distaff, I got stuck on ‘cause I borked my timeline and also haven’t 100% figured out how I wanted it to end.

The Phoenix; getting into Luke’s head was kind of hard; also the ending feels kind of rushed.

for we are a woven thread; find the strand; figuring out what to do with Obi-Wan’s thread was a little hard, also just...getting through the super downer beginning, lol.

SW2021 big bang: finding the actual Story buried in how the three focal characters connect and what that means for them/the rest of the galaxy. AKA lol what is the Plot.

...I’m not sure that actually answers the question, but it’s something in the neighborhood, at least?

Ask me a fic writer question! (Or, frankly, any question, I like to babble about writing to/at people. My writing discord is pretty quiet but I do that there sometimes XD)