#i still get notifs for the previous one i did of him so whenever i get cramps i think of him

[jarold-rat]

I DONT CARE IF UR TRANSGENDER KEEP SHOOTING THE DAMN ZOMBIES

its that time of the month again

[fxrmuladaydreams]

broaden your horizons (sv5)

pornstar!seb x camgirl/pornstar!reader

summary: sebastian suggests you broaden your horizons, little does he know just how much his suggestion hurts you

notes: i hope you guys are enjoying this au, this is the first chapter without smut, so we’re getting into the actual meat of the story, i know this is a pretty short chapter but we needed the drama

prev part next part

Sebastian’s video had done just as well as yours had done the previous week. Audiences were begging to see more videos with the two of you together. He smiled to himself reading through all of the comments. Most were compliments, or more so crude comments to you. It turns out you were a hit. Sebastian really struck gold collaborating with you.

He liked filming with you, that was clear to him early on, but he didn’t expect to feel a tug in his heart when he was away from you. He didn’t think he’d long for the time you had together after filming, cuddled up together. He was surprised when he realized just how much he longed to have you near him, even without any plans to film new videos.

It was wrong, growing attached to someone you worked with. Sure, he had multiple girls ask him out after filming with him, but he always turned them down. He told them that he didn’t date anyone he filmed with. And he was more than willing to keep his word, until he met you.

Things would become complicated if he were to act on these feelings that had begun to fester inside him. He probably wouldn’t be able to film videos with anyone else anymore, and he knew for a fact he wouldn’t like it if you did either.

So in an attempt to stop his heart from growing even more attached to you, he called up a girl that he had filmed a few videos with before and scheduled to film another. He was trying to take steps into creating a more professional relationship with you, but still couldn’t stop his heart from skipping a beat whenever he got a text notification or a phone call, then for it to fall when it wasn’t you trying to contact him.

It was in a moment of weakness for him that he had invited you over to his house to hang out. He claimed he was bored and had a few new movies to watch, and asked if you wanted to join him. The truth was he was tired of the texts and phone calls, and decided to give into his desire to have you around him.

It was the first time you’d ever been to Sebastian’s house. It was clean, neat, although it seemed like it was missing something, like the space could use a little more life in it.

Sebastian had guided you to his living room and ordered a pizza for the two of you to share. He turned the first movie on, then the second, then the third, until it was late into the evening.

You were more than content spending this time with Sebastian, a small prt of you wondered if he was going to ask you to stay the night.

You had started your movie marathon on opposite ends of his couch, yet slowly started to find yourselves inching closer to one another, until you were practically sitting on his lap. He had an arm thrown around your shoulders, holding you to his chest, and the other over your legs which laid over his lap.

You could feel your eyes become heavy as the last movie played, and let sleep overcome you before it had ended.

Sebastian hadn’t noticed that you’d fallen asleep on him until the credits started rolling. He felt you bury your face further into his chest as he shifted. He smiles down at you and brushes the hair away that had fallen into your face.

He carefully lifts you up in his arms and walks you to his room. He lays you on top of the bed and pulls a blanket over you. He debates crawling into bed next to you, the idea of waking up with you wrapped in his arms is way more tempting to him than it should be. But he decides against it, instead grabbing his own blanket and sleeping on the couch.

He wakes up the next morning to hear you padding around his kitchen. He sits up to see you standing over his stove, cooking.

“Good morning schatz.” He says, his voice groggy from sleep.

You smile before turning back to look at him. He’s struggling to keep his eyes open, and his blonde hair is a mess on top of his head. His German accent is thick and his voice is deep. He gives you a tired smile, slowly making his way into the kitchen with you.

“Good morning Seb.”

“You didn’t have to make breakfast.” He says.

“And you didn’t have to sleep on your couch.” You tell him pointedly.

“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You wouldn’t.”

He gives you a soft smile then gets plates from his cupboard to serve the breakfast you’ve cooked.

You sit at the small table he has as you eat. Sun shines in through the blinds, you can hear birds singing outside. This feels far too intimate and domestic, but neither of you wants to stop.

You help him wash the dishes, he playfully splashes a little water on you after you bump his hip with yours, giggling at the soapy mess he’s made of the counter.

You sit on his couch afterwards, you not wanting to leave, and him not wanting to ask you to.

You feel like this is the beginning of something new for the two of you. You never expected to become this close to someone you worked with, but it seems like the two of you fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

“So I was thinking about maybe filming some more stuff with you? I mean, obviously people like us together. We could do like a livestream or something?” You ask, sharing an idea that had been floating around in your head for a little bit.

He’d love to film with you again. But there’s a little siren going off in his head. You’re getting too close, back away. He nods. “We could, yeah. I’d have to check my schedule.” He says.

“Oh, I’m sorry, if you’re too busy that’s okay.”

He shakes his head. “No, no, it’s fine. I’d like to film with you again.” He pauses. “I just have a day planned to film with someone else soon.”

It feels like the breath is stolen from your lungs. You feel yourself deflate a little.

“Oh. Alright.”

You shouldn’t have expected him to only be filming with you, he was a famous pornstar, he probably had women lining up to film with him.

“It’s not that big a deal. She’s pretty easy to work around.” He says, his heart begins to hammer in his chest as he sees you become more tense.

“You’ve filmed with her before?”

He nods. “A couple of times.”

Everything you’ve done together flashes through your mind. All of the sweet words and kind gestures, intimate moments you thought were shared between the two of you, were they just a carbon copy of what he’d already done with other girls?

“Maybe you should try filming with someone else?” He suggests. Honestly the last thing he wants is to see you on his computer with someone else’s dick inside you, but for some reason he can’t stop himself from speaking. “See if you like it. Broaden your horizons.”

You feel sick to your stomach. He’s used you, he’s able to say that he was the first one to have you, and now he’s tossing you aside.

“I think I’m going to head out.” You say, getting up from the couch.

He follows you as you walk to his door. “It was nice having you schatz.”

His words, though unintentional, feel like the final knife in your heart.

“Could you send me Daniel’s contact info?”

“Sure.”

[ruwriteshours]

CHASING PAVEMENTS (PART II) 𓇼 (P.JS)

PAIRING ⇨ park jisung x fem! reader

GENRE ⇨ continuation of chasing pavements, angst, smut, brother's best friend trope, fwb/secret relationship, fluff

WARNING ⇨ !!sexual content!! (minors dni) jisung is an asshole, reader is frustatingly naive, not much honestly

SUMMARY ⇨ In which jisung's derived thoughts leads him to an unlikely arrangement with chenle's sister, where he fucks up (quite literally) when he realises how deep in the feels he has for the girl he is suppose to show disinterest to, in honour of 'BRO CODE'.

TAGLIST ⇨ @heyitsconysstuff @toroufriteh @chaerfull @fly-inghighx @tangerinehyuck @taexoxosgf @kazscara @seonghwa9ie @bleuczennie @bekah931215 @bl--ankhaeji @mad2lyn @fakeuwus @sinsgaybutthatsokay @crzns <3

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this definitely took longer than i expected bcos i didn't plan for the plot to go this way honestly so i hope you guys like it!

IS IT POSSIBLE TO MEND A BROKEN HEART?

The answer to that is uncertain. To let go of someone you once cherished was something you thought you could never do. Were you being dramatic?

Absolutely.

But that doesn't make it any less hurtful. You weren't really doing well ever since the incident at the party. Left in tears of anger as you come to the realisation of being used. You hated being treated like an idiot.

Why on earth would Jisung waltzed in and declare his feelings for you when he has done nothing to prove it?

Chaeryeong and Yunjin were furious when presented with this information. A string of curses escaped their lips as the both of them console you in their dorm, you were a mess when you realised how much you still had feelings for the idiotic boy.

He's no good for you.

Is what you keep telling yourself whenever a notification would appear on your screen with his name on it.

It was a bad idea from the start to get too attached to him. An idiot you were to let your mind play out a fantasy with your lovesick crush, thinking you could get a happy ending out of it. As much as you wanted to forget him, it was difficult when he was a part of your life for so long, practically your childhood. Plus, it was hard to avoid him when he is the closest friend to Chenle, having that connection that would still make him try his advances on you.

In fact, he would still attempt to be near you in any way he could, despite the previous event. Texting you everyday, begging for forgiveness, approaching you in class with a snack in hand to give, being the one to wave to you whenever you walked passed each other, all of which you were dismissal to. Everyone was definitely shocked with the sudden change of scenery, having had used to you being the one chasing after him.

THURSDAY.

Chenle has definitely seen the awkward tension between the both of you, especially when one particular day he called you to ask to pick up something for him and you would come into their dorm later that day. He saw how Jisung would be the first to open the door in such a hurry. Chenle didn't think much of it but he was fairly suspicious at the fact that Jisung was the one doing the longing stares as you ignored his presence, being the one to initaite a conversation, but was cut short when you gave him sharp responses.

However your brother didn't have a mind of Einstein, oblivious as ever as he shrugged it off, thinking that Jisung was trying to be nice even though he has never tried to interact with you before.

Much things could not be said to his roommate, Haechan, who has predicted this might happen, knowing well enough how clueless the younger is at dealing with his feelings. Offering a friendly word of advice to his friend.

"You should really give her time."

But that was not what Jisung did, he was stubborn as ever. He wanted you to understand how much he regretted his actions. He didn't care how long it will take for him to gain your trust, his heart was set in making you forgive him.

Even if it meant that he was ruining his pride, it was long gone when he realised that he would be losing you in the process. He didn't know what he had until it was gone. Those times where you would constantly be by his side, ready to annoy him made him yearned for the moment to come again. He couldn't return your feelings because he was scared of what his best friend might think, but he couldn't care less about those stuff anymore. Hurting you was his last option.

Yet that was what he did.

He hurt you. Deeply.

Now he has to face the consequences and make up for it, no matter how long it will take him to get there.

"Can you please move?"

Your voice had a hint of annoyance, teeth gritting as Jisung stood in front of your locker for what it seems to be like the 10th time.

The male stubbornly moved to the side but still kept a close contact with you, much to your dismay.

"So, are you free today?" He jumped when you slammed the locker door shut, a sarcastic smile played on your lips.

"No." You held your books tightly, preparing to walk away.

However, he was close to your pace, trailing beside you. "Well, how about tomorrow? I heard that there's this really good pla—"

"Not interested."

You cut him off harshly.

"Why not?"

He defiantly asked.

You stopped in your tracks, ready to give an earful at his audacity. But before you could open your mouth, Seungmin came in and wrapped an arm around you. You sigh in relief, thankful that someone is here to save you.

"Hey! You ready?" Seungmin smiled, his eyes glanced towards Jisung, whose jaw was clenched in anger.

"Of course, let's go!" You walked away, ignoring the calls of Jisung.

"Thanks for saving me." You sighed once Jisung was out of sight. The male chuckled, "Wow, he seems really desperate this time."

"Unfortunately, Chenle was accusing me of 'brainwashing' him." You said, using air-quotes. "I don't know how long I can take this."

"Maybe you should talk it out again." Seungmin suggested.

"Nope, definitely not." You disagreed, Seungmin laughing at how quick your response was.

Ever since the party, you got closer to Seungmin. You had realised how much the both of you had in common and you found yourself talking to him. Even after your 'talk' with Jisung that day, Seungmin offered you company as the both of you walked back to your dorm. Overtime, you got comfortable with him, much to Jisung's dismay as he watched how Seungmin would cling onto your side now. Despite filling in on your personal history with your brother's best friend, Seungmin never tried to make a move on you, knowing that the last thing you want is a relationship. Like a kind-hearted person he is, he offered a shoulder to cry on and a ear to listen to.

"I'm so tired. Finals are killing me." You groaned, craning your neck from the soreness.

You had finally finished the project that was assigned three hours ago, being a fairly good student, it was a habit that you developed in order to ensure you didn't have a heavy workload. However, the more that your finals were nearing, the more your lecturers have been giving assignments continuously that is was racking your brain. Seungmin gave you company while you worked in the library, your head buried in the books. Unfortunately, your friends had their own hectic schedule due to their different module so they weren't able to come.

"I heard a cafe that just opened up a few days ago." Seungmin offered. "Wanna go with me?"

You smiled at his suggestion before closing your book, part of you desperately wanting a break as you began packing your bag, Seungmin following suit.

The way to the cafe was a brief walk, and thankfully you had enough strength to drag your limp body towards the destination. As the both made your way towards the cafe, you couldn't help but feel a sudden presence behind you. Turning around, you only saw two hooded figure behind, one of them turning their head behind dramatically. You shrugged it off, thinking it was just nothing as you made your way inside, the bell jingled as you opened the tinted glass door.

"You're crazy." You heard an awfully familiar voice behind you, carefully you began to tune in while Seungmin went ahead with your orders. Luckily, the queue being short as not a lot of people have heard of this place before.

"Just shut up!" Jisung harshly whispered, slapping his friend's shoulder.

"When I said I would help, this is not the kind of help I meant." Jisung rolled his eyes at the older.

"Like maybe at this point you need some professional help. Have you considered therapy?" Haechan suggested, which only made the younger glare at the insufferable boy.

"I'm just saying, you seem like you're the obsessed one now." He pointed out.

"I'm not obsessed." Jisung said, rather too quickly, causing the older to raise his brows questioningly. "I'm just making sure that he doesn't do anything to hurt her. I'm only looking out for her." He justified, observing Seungmin, who was talking to the cashier upfront.

"Hm, sounds like the call is coming from inside the house." Haechan snickered at his own joke, causing the younger to hit him at the back of the older's head.

Haechan whining at the impact.

Jisung huffed, watching as Seungmin returned back to his seat, with both cups of coffee in his hand. Jisung's hand clenched in anger, to the point he felt his blood lost circulation from the amount of pressure he applied. Maybe that's why he couldn't think straight, he thought bitterly as he saw the way you smiled around the boy, a deep feeling of jealousy bubbling through his skin.

He didn't like it one bit.

"Dude, can we just go. I'm kinda getting tired of playing stalker." Haechan called out, his voice hint with urgency.

Jisung ignored Haechan's whining as his eyes were boring at the back of your head, his hood covering his features as he began examining your face, the way you wore light makuep today, your rosy cheeks stood out as your bright smile shined through the room. How could he have been so blind?

Eventally, his staring got too intense that even after you were done with your drink, you stood up and began walking towards his direction.

Shit!

He began ducking himself away as Haechan panicked beside him, opting to hide his face under the table, hitting his head in the process as his let out a soft 'ow'.

"Is there a reason you're stalking me now?" Your voice called out, annoyance laced in your tone as you crossed your arms, waiting for a response.

"I don't know what you're talking about, miss." Jisung pretended to deepen his voice, cupping his mouth.

"Maybe you mistook us for someone." Haechan added, a little too high pitched for his own voice.

You scoffed, "Lee and Park. I know it's you guys, you guys suck at keeping a low profile, I've seen you guys behind us for the past 15 minutes."

"Well damn, didn't know we're on a last name basis." Haechan dropped his act, lifting off his hoodie as he slumped against his chair, "I didn't do anything wrong!" He huffed childishly.

"So hello to you too Zhong and Seungmin." He waved sarcastically, earning a chuckle from the brown-haired boy, who waved back at him enthusiastically— finding humour in the situation.

"I'm sorry, Haechan." You rolled your eyes playfully. "But please tell your friend that he needs to respect some space when clearly the person he's stalking is no longer interested in his games." You said, every word dripping with venom as you acted like Jisung was not there.

"That's funny." Haechan chuckled, "That's what I told him too, but you know stubborn as alw— oof!" Haechan was cut off when he was elbowed harshly by the younger, embarassment flodding through his face as he was caught red-handed.

Before the situation could play out any further, the bell jingled outside and in came in Chenle, alongside with Mark and NingNing.

"Oh, dude. I may or may not have invited them here." Haechan announced awkwardly as the trio made their way towards their table.

"And you're only telling me this now?" Jisung asked incredulously, covering his face in embarassment as he could hear footsteps approaching.

"Hi, Jisung." NingNing voice spoke softly as she took a sit next to him.

"Hi." He replied back, monotonously.

"Ugh, what are you doing here?" Chenle asked in disgust, eyeing you up and down. You scowled, "Suprise big bro, we're at a public place and it's possible to see the same people when it's near college campus!" You made a jazzled hands, exaggerating your words.

"I wouldn't be shocked if you didn't know, considering you don't have a lot of friends."

"Says the girl whose only hanging out with one person." Chenle fired back before adverting his gaze onto Seungmin, "No offense."

"None taken." Seungmin waved off.

"We're leaving now, so don't worry." You grabbed Seungmin's hands as you made your way to the exit.

"Well, good riddance for us!" Was the last thing you heard before the door closed.

Jisung sighed in disappointment when you left, his heart clenched from the way you held the other's hand. A part of him felt selfish for thinking he could get another chance with you, especially when he was the one to mess everything up. Throughout the whole gathering, he couldn't bring himself to talk, too deep in thoughts that he didn't take notice on the way NingNing's face dropped when she realises that he wasn't paying attention to her. Chenle, who was observing the whole thing, kicked Jisung from under the table, which made him perked up at the sudden intrusion. He could only utter apologies as NingNing shook her head, waving it off as she put on a fake smile, knowing deep down that his interest in no where near her.

FRIDAY.

For the sake of your overbearing parents, you and Chenle were forced to leave campus early and travel back to your hometown to meet with your grandmother's. Since it was around the weekends, your parents didn't want to take the risk of getting held back by traffic, so they took the liberty of booking the flight for the both of you in advance and you would have no choice but to accept.

This was a common theme for your parents to do, to plan something without announcing until the very last minute. Though, you couldn't blame them, considering that it was difficult for you and Chenle to make time and visit whenever there was a family event and since it was your grandmother's birthday, you would feel guilty to miss that out. A part of you hoping for this unplanned vacation to take your mind off of finals, and more importantly Jisung.

Packing your stuff as you gave your roommate a hug, you decided to meet up with your friends at their dorm so that you could bid your goodbyes, dramatically letting out a sigh before helping you carry your suitcase in the car.

"Is Chenle coming with you?" Yunjin asked, checking the rear-view mirror.

"No, his friends are sending him off." You shook your head, "I'll just meet him there straight away."

Chenle had initially invited you to go with him but knowing that his friends were there, spefically the boy that you wanted to avoid at all cost, it was safe to say that you had declined his offer, opting for the company of your friends instead.

Though, your brother didn't prod further, he was confused as to why you wouldn't want to, considering that if any other circumstances that his friends (Jisung) were to be there, you would be up in your feet to join in uninvited. So the fact that you would say no to his invitation, which he rarely would do as you would constantly be up in his best friend's business and take his attention away, makes this all more confusing to the male. Especially so, since he could see the disappointed look on Jisung's face when he announced that you were heading off with your own friends.

What had happened between the two of you?

"I'm so glad you kids could make it!" Your grandmother's warmth engulfed you in a hug, pulling along your brother.

"We're glad we could make it too."

"You can settle in while I prepare dinner for us, as a family." Your grandmother shed a tear.

"Mom, you promised not to cry." Your mother said, shaking her head.

"I know, I know but give me a break. It's been awhile since I get to see my grandchildren." She scolded, giving both you and Chenle a peck on the cheeks.

"Both of you have grown up so well!"

After the long flight, there's nothing more for you to want than to lie down on your bed, giving a warmful greeting to your grandmother, you made your way towards the bedroom that your grandmother had kindly prepared for the both of you.

"It's still the same as before we left." You commented, taking a glance around the room.

"Yeah, no shit." Chenle scoffed, "I'm suprised she still kept my toys." He picked his collection of car toys and began admiring it.

"That's 'cause you would bitch if anyone comes near it." You retorted.

"I do not!"

"You so do." You said back. "Remember that time when Jisun—"

You cut yourself off, having had your words spill out before your brain could even fully comprehend what you were saying. Shit! Even when he's not here, you caught yourself thinking about him. Fuck me!

"That time when he?" Chenle drawled, wanting you to finish but seeing the way your face dropped, he couldn't help but question something that has been itching his mind. "You're being awfully distant with Jisung."

You frozed, luckily your brother didn't notice as he continued. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad you're not some crazed idiot around him anymore." He chuckled, "But he's talked about you often."

You perked up, your facial expression seemed to have been to obvious as Chenle spoke up again. "Yeah, I was shocked too. I don't know what happened between you two but, uh, I hope you guys sort that out." He laid down on the bed with a loud yawn.

"What did he say about me?" You blurted out before you could stop yourself. Chenle could only offer a shrug, "He always asked if you're with this Seungmin guy or when you would come to our dorm. I don't know but it's nothing to crazy 'cause I know how you like to overanalyse stuff." He said lightheartedly.

But boy, was he right.

Because what were you even suppose to do with the new-found information. It should've been obvious that Jisung would try make amends. You assumed that it was mostly out of guilt, but you hadn't expected him to risk blowing his cover by asking about you from Chenle, considering he was very determined to keep this little ordeal a secret.

One thing for sure is that you were very confused.

Jisung was confusing you.

Before you could say anything else, your grandmother's voice called you out, annoucing that dinner was ready.

"Finally! I'm starving."

You hadn't expect dinner with your family to be as awkward as it is, but you couldn't but feel that way when your parents are very prying about your love lives. It's not like you could tell them that you used to have a sexual relationship with your brother's best friend without his knowledge and stupidly ended up breaking your heart so you're currently in the process of healing. There's just no way!

So yet there you are, sitting quietly as you let your parents ramble on about your current status.

"What about Seungmin?" Chenle spoke up, his smug smile evident as he saw the way your eyes widened.

"Shut up, idiot!" You hit your brother's shoulder in irritation, "It's not like that!"

"Hey! No fighting in the table." Your mother scolded, and after a brief pause she continued, "So, when do we get to meet this boy?"

"Um, never! He's not my boyfriend." You denied, shaking your head.

Chenle scoffed, "Oh, please. As if you guys don't hang around in campus everyday."

"I swear—"

"So, I'm guessing your crush on Jisung is finally over." This time, your father concluded, a smile on his lips as he enjoyed watching your panicked state.

"Oh, right. That sweet boy." Your mother said, "You guys would look so cute together!"

Chenle faked gagged. "Don't make me throw up, mom!"

"No way! I'm not into Jisung anymore." You scowled, hand slapping against the wooden table. "And neither am I in a relationship. Can we please target Chenle now."

Chuckles filled in the room as your face was red, as if you were suffering from a frostbite.

"Speaking of Jisung, he might stop by here tomorrow." Chenle announced, which earned an excited gasp from your mother.

You dropped your fork, food caught in your throat from shock as you cough relentlessly. Gasping for air as you patted your chest.

"What do you mean 'stop by', like he's gonna book a flight to come here?" You were baffled with this discovery, taking a huge gulp of water that your mother handed out to you.

"Uh, yeah." Chenle deadpanned, "His parents are out doing business in Shanghai so he decided to join us. I hope that's okay with you guys."

"Oh, isn't that wonderful?" Your grandmother agreed, "We have more company to celebrate my birthday."

"But—"

"I haven't seen Jisung in awhile, I can't wait for him to come!"

Just fucking great!

SATURDAY.

You felt like you were going crazy.

It has been approximately 3 hours since Jisung had arrived here, along with Chenle, who had picked him up from the airport. You thought you would be mature enough to face him but aside from your cold greetings, Jisung never seemed to be as talkative to you as he was before and for some unknown reason, you were frustated with that because now, it feels like you were back to square one. It makes it seem as if you were the one waiting for him to notice you. You hated this constant back and forth. A part of secretly thinking that this was Jisung's plan all along, to string you along and make you think he was interested when you ended things but in reality, it was all for shits and giggles in the end. That sudden thought made your heart churned.

Because how could Jisung just sit there and laugh, acting as if he has the right to? You were boiling from anger, hating the fact that he was there, sitting on the couch, playing video games with your brother as if it's some normal occurence. It's not like he cared enough about your grandmother's birthday, hell! He had only seen her a few times when he was younger so why the hell would he come here and spend his weekends with your family when he could just stay back home with his friends, having parties and drinking away? It's not like he couldn't see Chenle afterwards anyways. It was frustating to see him at every corner you turned to.

What was he really doing here?

You watched in exasperation as Jisung's eyes were focused on the screen in front of him. You hate him. You hate how he had the audacity to come here. You hate the fact that he didn't care how much he hurted you. And most importantly, you hated that even after what he did, just him sitting there could make your heart flutter every single time since you were kids.

You really hate him.

But of course, that didn't stop you from hanging out with them. To be fair, your mother was practically forcing you to go out with your brother, saying that you could 'use some fresh air' and that it could be 'the perfect opportunity to help Jisung find gifts for your grandmother', considering he came in empty-handed and felt guilty if he had nothing to give.

So here you are, walking at the back as you tuned out the conversation the both of them were having. Hand in pocket as you kicked rocks that you saw on the pavement, boredom consuming you. It seemed as if Jisung could sense your aura because he turned around mid-convo, a soft smile displayed on his face as he watched your actions. Chenle noticed and began calling out to you, which made you jump from how loud his voice was.

Walking towards an antique shop (that your mother had suggested since your grandma's always into vintage findings), Jisung held the door out for you and you thanked him softly, wanting to appear civil. Inside, you could already see that Chenle was talking to the shop owner, you didn't bother listening and just assumed that he was looking for something specific that Jisung could give.

Walking away as you began to look through the shop, vintage items displayed on the shelves as you try to avoid the other male, pretending as if you looked preoccupied.

"Ah, I see. I think we have that in here, follow me." The shop owner responded as she motioned Chenle to follow her.

"You can go look around." Chenle looked at Jisung, "Find something that you think she'd might like."

"Sure thing."

And that was when Jisung began walking towards your direction, face full of determination. Your back was facing him, which gave him the opportunity to sneak behind you without you running away.

"Hey." You jumped, your hand gripping onto a small vase that you were admiring.

"Can you not." You groaned.

"Liste—"

"No." You interrupted firmly. "Can you please get away from me?"

You moved a couple steps away when he snatched the item you were holding, hand up in the air as he uses his height, putting you at a disadvantage.

"Hey! What the hell?"

"Just listen to me. For once." He begged, the sudden frustation in his eyes evident.

"You don't get to feel angry right now." You fumed, "I made it clear at the party that I want nothing to do with you."

"I know—"

"Then why are you still trying!" You whisper-yelled, not wanting to cause a commotion that it already has. "Why are you— mmph!"

For the first time, that anticipating moment that you have been dreaming of felt like you weren't in reality. No amount of warnings could've prepared you for what was about to come.

He smashed his lips against yours.

It was as if time slowed down. As clichè as it was, you couldn't help but feel the utter shock. A fluttering feeling at the pit of your stomach, the lust clouding your vision as you take in the sudden action, eyes widening as Jisung's grip began making its way towards your neck, stabilising your movements. You should've pushed him away, yell at him, scream at him and maybe throw a punch at his handsome face but your stupid heart reacted faster than any logical scenario that should've happened.

You kissed him back.

With the same amount of desperation and passion that he put into that kiss. You felt like you were losing your mind from the way that you could feel his lips moving softly against yours, teeth nibbling at your bottom lip that you couldn't help but open, his tongue softly massaged the wet muscle of yours and you couldn't help but feel like you were in cloud nine. He was being very slow with his movements, as if not wanting to scare you away. Your hand held onto his neck as you deepened the kiss, desperately wanting to feel more.

What. The. Fuck!

Your mind was screaming, cursing at you for your stupidity but your heart simply shut down, wanting to savour the moment as much as you could.

Just then, before it could progress any further, Jisung had stupidly let go of the vase that he was holding, completely forgetting that he had it. The sound of the vase smashing made both of you reeled back into reality as Jisung jumped from the sudden commotion. But it was the least of your worries as you began to feel a slight sting on your ankle.

A bad day to wear a short pants.

"Ow!" You yelped, looking down at your legs to see a line of gushing blood, the shattered glass was pouring around the both of you.

"Oh shit, are you okay!?" Jisung asked frantically, hand holding your legs as he inspected the wound.

"What's happening there?" Chenle called out, walking towards the scene.

Looking down at the wound on your legs, he could see it was becoming worse, seeing the way you were holding onto Jisung's shoulder for support.

"Shit!" He cursed. "I think she got cut by the glass!"

"Is everything okay here?" The shop owner exclaimed.

"No, ma'am. My sister accidentally dropped the vase." Chenle explained, which caused the lady sighed in annoyance, "That was one of the most expensive item here!"

"I'm sorry," You uttered profusely, "I'll pa—"

"I'll pay for it!" Jisung interfered, "It was my fault anyways."

"Dude, are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine." He turned back, facing the lady. "So, where can I pay?"

And that's when the three of you ended up going to the nearest convenience store to treat your wound. After a few arguements here and there, you had resorted into refusing to return back home, not wanting to hear an earful from your nagging mother.

"Let's go to the convenience store, we're quite far from grandma's house anyways." Your brother pointed out.

"It hurts," You limped, face scrunching into pain.

"I'll carry you." Jisung offered.

"What?" Both you and Chenle said in astonishment.

"It's not a big deal," The taller male shrugged off, hands inside his pocket as he looked around, "The walk isn't that far."

"It's fine—"

"I insist." He said firmly.

"Well, I'm telling you that it's not necessary." You said pointedly.

"I beg to differ."

"I can do it!"

"No, you can't."

"Yes—"

"Oh, just let him carry you already." Chenle butted in, "At this rate, your wound would already be healed from you guys bantering."

"We were not bantering." Jisung retorted.

"Whatever." Chenle waved off, walking off first.

You felt nervous all of the sudden. Sure, the both of you have done way more sexual stuff than this and it shouldn't bother you in any way.

But it is.

Because it's different when your feelings are on the line. That kiss was something you've never felt before. You were beginning to feel that your emotions were going haywire. You thought you had it under control but it was obvious that Jisung still had you wrapped around his fingers.

You didn't know whether you hated it or not.

Lifting yourself off the ground, your legs securely wrapped on his waist as his hand gently held you up, his fingers brushing against your inner thighs and you were using every once of self-control to not squirm around his touch.

The walk was suprisingly peaceful, well, as peaceful as it can be because even though you were under Jisung's arms, you tend to forget the watchful eyes of your brother, scrutinising every single movement from the both of you. You could tell he was beginning to suspect something and that made you worry a little for Jisung but you remained calm, not wanting to make the situation more awkward that it already has. Even when Chenle had offered to be the one to patch you up, Jisung refused and did it instead, practically shoving the other to get to you.

Applying the ointment on your leg, you hissed at the pain and Jisung paused his action, concern in his eyes as he kept checking up on you. Chenle could only watch the interaction in silence, confused with the sudden closeness the both of you had.

"We should get grandma a cake on the way." He interrupted the moment, seeing the way the both of you snapped back out of trance.

The whole celebration afterwards went well and it seemed as if Chenle had forgotten the whole event afterwards, considering he never questioned you about what happened, which you were thankful for. After the birthday, you would've have suspect that things would go back to normal, though, you underestimate how much the world seemed to hate you...

"Jisung, you can sleep at the room instead." Your mother said.

"Uh, and where am I suppose to sleep?" You interjected, knowing damn well you would rather die than to sleep (not sexually) with your brother and his best friend.

"Oh, don't be silly." Your mother laughed, "We have plenty of cushions in the couch."

"Are you seriously gonna make me sleep here." You asked incredulously.

"On second thought." Chenle interrupted, "I think we both can sleep here and she can have the room all to herself."

"But—"

"I agree too, Mrs Zhong. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the hospitality but I don't mind sleeping outside."

You sighed in relief.

"Well, make yourself as comfortable as you can." Your mother turned away to face both you and Chenle, "Please be at your best behaviour, this has been the most happiest I've seen your grandma's been so please don't ruin it for her and unfortunately, I won't be able to get a good cell service at the hotel so please be careful and don't get into trouble while your father and I are away."

"Got it, mom." The both of you mumbled in unison at your mother's rambling.

And for the first few hours you were left alone in the room while you could hear the sounds of the roaring laughter from Chenle. The noise had quiten down for what felt like hours and you could've assumed that the both of them went to sleep after that, drifting yourself to sleep as well when you hear a sudden knock on the door.

"Come in."

Jisung's head peeked in, "Hi."

"Let's talk." You could tell that he had been waiting for Chenle to be sound asleep before making his way here, considering that he was very fidgety than normal.

"It's not like I have much of a choice." You sighed, knowing that deep down, you were already mentally prepared for the conversation.

He ignored your snarky comment, "I kissed you."

"Well, that's one way to start." You chuckled, "But go on."

"Look, I know you hate my guts right now and I should've left you alone when you told me to." He let out a shaky breath, "But I couldn't, when you started hanging out with that guy, I started to realise how much I like you. I know I'm selfish but I didn't know what to do when I realised it, I thought if I acted more possessive it would've made my feelings clear but instead I pushed you away."

You listened intensely, fingers gripping the sheet as you chewed your bottom lip. A million thoughts ran through your mind.

"It's a shitty excuse, I'll admit but I just want you to know that I regret treating you like you don't matter because you do, very much." He finished off, watching the way you were silent throughout. "I understand if you don't want me around so I'll stop trying." He retreated back.

Okay, this is it. You wanted to this all along, right?

Why do you feel the sudden urge to stop him... fuck it!

"Aren't you going to listen what I have to say?"

He paused, hand lingering on the door knob as he turned around, watching as you slowly remove yourself from bed. You were currently wearing a loose shirt and a low pants. Jisung gulped nervously as you began to get closer to him.

"Do you really mean that?" You asked, voice cracking slightly.

Jisung's brows rose as he let out a soft scoff, "Every word."

"And you're not doing this because you feel bad." You tilted your head in suspicion, eyes squinting as you try to detect a lie. "Well, that's part of it."

"But it's mostly because I don't want to lose you. I really care about you."

That seemed to be the answer that you were looking for because after those words left his lips, you reached up on your tippy toes and smashed your lips against his. His eyes widened slightly and for a moment, his lips didn't seem to react and he stood still in shock. You were beginning to regret doing that as he was being unresponsive, wanting nothing more than to cower away in embarassment but just as you pulled away from him slightly, he began to chase after you. His hands had gotten hold at the back of your neck, pulling you into a deep kiss as his other one made its way to your waist.

This time, he nibbled your bottom lip and didn't hesitate to shove his tongue deep into your mouth. You moaned at the contact as you gripped onto his shirt, your legs were struggling to meet the ground due to his height. Fortunately, he took noticed and tapped on your thighs, signalling you to jump and you did. Wrapping your legs tightly around his waist as his hands securely groped your ass to maintain the balance, he began walking towards the bed all while giving kisses from your chin down to your neck, licking and sucking it.

Laying you down under the soft duvet covers, he began trailing down his kisses to your collarbone. Just as he was about to remove your article of clothing, he looked up to meet your eyes, silently asking you if you were okay with continuing.

"Yes." You breathed out, whimpering when he roamed his hands around your breast, his warms fingers rubbed against your hardened nipples which cause you to moan loudly.

You covered your mouth almost immediately. Jisung took your hands away and replaced with his mouth instead, swallowing your noises as his hands played with your breast.

"You gotta be quiet, princess." He whispered, his lips hovered against yours, you were lying if you said that nickname didn't make you feel something inside, "Or else you're gonna wake someone up. Wouldn't want that happening would you?"

You shook your head, your hand holding onto his shirt as you begged him, "Please, I'll be quiet. Just do something."

He laughed at your neediness and began removing your shorts, along with your panties. What he saw didn't disappoint him as he could see your glistening cunt out in the open, his mouth watering to get a savouring taste. Without warning, he gave kitty licks at your pussy, and you shuddered under his touch, legs wrapped around his face, almost suffocating him. But the male above you didn't seem to mind as he only pushed his face further into you, his long slender finger pried open your hole to shove his tongue deeper.

"A-Ah, Jisung." You quietly moaned, "I'm gonna cum."

That seemed to encourage the male to go faster, lifting your hips up as he began eating you out like a starved man.

Feeling the familiar orgasm, you shut your eyes as you covered your mouth, preventing the erotic sounds from escaping. You felt a sudden fuzziness over the immense feeling that you didn't notice that Jisung had taken off his clothes as well.

"You did so well, princess." He praised, hand gently caressing your fuck-out face. "Think you can handle more?"

You nodded eagerly, whining when he pulled away slightly.

"I need words, baby." He said, "Tell me you want this."

"Please, Jisung. I want this." You whined, "I want you."

He pressed his lips against you once more, your hand immediately went to wrap around his neck to pull him closer. Getting indulged in the messy kiss, you were yelped in shock when he began to rub his cock onto yours.

Jisung stopped when he noticed your state, but you only whined further, your hips bucking against his boner, begging him to fill you up, which only made the male continue his previous actions.

"Wait, Jisung." You said, which cause him to look up at you. "Can you please hold my hand?"

His heart softened at your request. Despite the abnormal amount of sex the both of you had, this was one that was undeniably the most intimate that the both of you went. You were always used to rough and angry sex with Jisung but this time, it was full of love and passion. It felt like the both of you were pouring your heart out into this. And for that, you were nervous because you were now able to express yourself in a way that you've always wanted to with Jisung.

And for the first time, he reciprocated those feelings.

So as he held tightly onto your small hands, interlocking them. He began to pick up his pace, thrusting more faster each second as he stared lovingly into your eyes. Feeling a sudden wave of insecurity wash through you by the intense gaze, you looked away in embarassment. But that only seemed to disappoint the male as he let go one of his hold on your hand and gently tilted your face to meet his. Offering a warm smile, he kissed you once more, washing away all your worries as the both of you engage in the sloppy kisses. His tongue coaxed against yours as his thrust began to pick up its pace, bringing the both of you to your orgasms.

Letting out muffled moans, the both of felt the feeling of euphoria when you came undone. Your lips lazily moved against his and he pulled away. You whined at the sudden contact and Jisung couldn't help but laugh at your cuteness.

Walking away towards the bathroom that was thankfully connected to the bedroom as he announced that he needed to clean you up.

You laid back down comfortably, you felt like your heart was bursting as you let the scene repeat itself on your mind, giddiness consumed you as you covered yourself under the blanket.

Soon, Jisung came in with a cloth in hand. Gently, the male urged you to open your legs as he began cleaning you up. The cold breeze of the cloth made you shiver. Once he was done, he helped you with your clothes, slowly positioning you so that you would be able to wear your clothes.

With that, he made his way to his clothes that he threw across the room and began putting them on before making his way towards the bed, cuddling by your side as the both of you faced each other. His face buried at the crook of your neck.

"We need to keep this a secret." He pulled away slightly, after a moment of comfortable silence.

"What? Why?" You felt your heart breaking, feeling the moment being completely ruined.

He sighed, "He still thinks I'm having a fling with NingNing."

"Well, are you?"

"Of course not!" He asked incredulously, "How could you think that?"

"Well, what's the problem then?" You couldn't help but get annoyed at where the topic was heading.

"Chenle will kill me." There it was.

"Chenle doesn't control what we do." You said disappointedly. "Are you embarassed of me?"

"No! No, of course not." Jisung caressed your face, making you face him. The look he had in his eyes made you soften your gaze, the anger you felt slowly dissipitating when you heard the sincerity in his words. "Look, I'll deal with this as soon as I can, just in the meantime, can we pretend as if we're not together."

You looked away, but he kept his grip on your chin, forcing to face him as he pleaded. "Please, I swear I'll try to work this out."

"Okay." You sighed, and that was when he leaned down to give you a passionate kiss.

"Thank you."

"But how do you know he won't like it though?" You pulled away.

"So, I'm guessing whatever rift you have with my sister is over?" Chenle spoke up, his gaze focused on the screen as he continued to play the game.

"What?"

"You heard me," Chenle laughed, "Whatever you guys have must be pretty intense but I guess I'm glad you made up."

(More like make out.)

"Just a question, do you like her?" Chenle asked, his tone suddenly turning serious.

This was it. This will be the moment he gets to tell him the whole truth. He was about to answer when Chenle spoke up again.

"Because if you, I'll literally beat your fucking ass." Chenle laughed, smacking Jisung at the back of the head.

Or not.

Jisung let out a nervous chuckle, "Of course not, idiot."

"Good. Good." Chenle hummed, "So, maybe you should set boundaries with her, wouldn't want to give her the wrong idea."

"I just know." Jisung said firmly.

SUNDAY.

The morning light shine through the curtains, awakening you as you toss to your side, stretching your arms. You can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment when you couldn't feel anything beside you, realising that Jisung was not by your side and that he had left. You let his words replay at the back of your mind.

We need to keep this a secret.

You just hoped that it wouldn't backfire on you as you let out a loud sigh, walking towards the bathroom to freshen up.

As you made your way to the kitchen, you were already greeted by breakfast that your grandmother had cooked, Chenle and Jisung were already feasting as if it was their last meal.

"You guys couldn't even wait for me." You grumbled, taking a seat across Jisung.

You smiled softly at the boy, a blush appearing on your cheek as you tried to remain calm.

"It's not our fault you slept like a pig."

Chenle rolled his eyes.

"At least I don't eat like one."

He only stuck his tongue out in mockery, which you returned back with the same gesture, causing the male beside him to chuckle at your childish bickering.

Your grandmother, took a seat beside you as she gave both of you a light scolding about behaving.

Minutes passed with light chattering across the dining and while in admist of eating, a devious plan came to your mind. Slowly lifting your feet, you let it wander around Jisung's legs, rubbing it up and down while you ate your meal, acting as if you weren't doing anything. Jisung tensed at the action, stopping his words as he let out a huge gulp, discreetly glancing at you. You, however, didn't pay no mind to the male as you continued munching on your food innocently.

It went on for a few minutes before you decided to test the waters some more, opting to trail your feet nearer to his crotch, which made him choke on his food.

"Yo, Ji. You, okay there?" Your brother called out, patting the other's back.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

"Is the food not to your liking?" Your grandmother asked, concern laced in her voice.

"No!" He interjected, "No, of course not! I love your cooking." He let out a nervous chuckle before turning to face you, glaring into your eyes as if he was warning you. Deciding to push his buttons, you pressed your feet against his crotch and began rubbing it in a circular motion, which causes the male to let out a quiet groan. Hand to his head as his forehead started to sweat. This only encourages you to apply more pressure, feeling his clothed area, which has now hardened.

"Dude, are you seriously okay?" Chenle asked, to which the male have no choice but to lie to save himself, "Yeah, I think I'm having a bit of a headache actually." He groaned, lifting his hips up to meet your feet, pretending as if he was readjusting his position.

"Do you need some medicine?" Your grandmother stood up, "I have some in the cabinet."

You watched as Jisung nodded, his body hunched over as if he was trying to control himself. His orgasm nearing as he felt like he eas losing his sanity. You smirked before deciding that he has had enough, drawing back your feet.

Jisung was glad that it took everything for him to not make a noise at the lost of contact, practically leaving him with blue balls all while trying to cover up the fact that his best friend's sister had just rubbed him off under the dining table.

He watched in anger as you excused yourself from the table, walking towards the kitchen as you briefly announced that you were going to head to the bathroom, he saw the way your eyes twinge with mischief, a smug smile placed on your lips as you walked past him. He was forced to stay behind longer to avoid suspicion, downing the pill that your grandma had so graciously handed as he pretended that he was getting better.

Score!

A minute or so in the bathroom, you heard a knock outside, you smile in victory as you knew who it was going to be. Just as you creaked open the door, it was pushed harshly as Jisung shoved his way inside, locking it on the way in. Not giving you the time to react as he smashed his lips against yours hungrily.

"You think that way funny, huh?" He huffed, pulling away from the kiss. "Do you know how much I could get in trouble?"

You shrugged innocently.

"Why don't you punish me then?"

"Just you wait." He said, trailing his kisses down your collarbone, teeth grazing your flesh as you hummed in satistaction.

Just as you were about to rip off his shirt, he grabbed your hands as he turned you around. Your back against his chest as your front was pressed up against the door. His hands coming up to hold your throat, forcing you to face him.

"Jisung, please hurr— ah!" You moaned when the male began spanking your backside, his hand groped against it harshly.

"You're in no position to demand." He sneered, moving his hands to the front of your shorts as he pulled them down hastily, making a move to roll up your shirt.

"No bra?" He tsked, which caused you to whimper when he began pinching your nipples. "That's good, makes it easier instead of ripping them off."

Without warning, he began shoving his two long index fingers down your wet cunt, you squirmed under his touch but his other hand went to hold your mouth, blocking the noises from escaping. He lowered his face to your breast, swirling his tongue around your nipples as he looked up to see your fucked-out face, observing the drool that dripped down your chin, that was also making his fingers wet. He loved seeing you get ruined so he quickened the pace, fastening his fingers as his mouth works wonders on your tits.

"I'm gonna come!" You whimpered, "Please, let me cum!"

Thankfully, your pleads were enough for him as he let you finish out your orgasm, watching the way your body spasmed under his touch.

Without giving you a chance to breathe, he turned you back around and held your shoulders, pulling you down to your knees. Understanding his signals, you began unzipping his pants and pulling out his hardened cock. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and forced you into his cock, watching the way your mouth sucks in his length with such ease. He groaned, which made you bobbed your head faster, tongue swirling around his dick.

"Y-Yeah! Just like that." He threw his head back, hand controlling your movements, "Don't stop! Ah!"

Unfortunately, odds were not in Jisung's favour today because just as he was about to release, he heard knocking on the other side of the door. Panic sets in as he wanted to pull you away, but you had stubbornly wrapped your hands around his hips, your mouth taking his whole.

"Y-Yes?"

"Yo, dude!" Chenle called out, "Are you in there? 'Cause you need to hurry up and pack your stuff. Our flight is in the next 2 hours!"

"Ah! Gotcha—oh!" He groaned.

"Are you taking a shit in there?" Chenle asked incredulously.

"Y-eah," Jisung didn't miss a beat. "My stomach's sensitive today— fuck!" That seemed to be enough of an answer because your brother didn't pry further, instead saying, "Alright. If you see my sister anywhere, relay that message I said earlier. I can't find her in the room."

"Mhm, w-will do!" He heard footsteps walking away, which nade him lean his head back against the wooden door.

And that is when he felt himself release his load in your mouth, you swallowing his cum with lust in your eyes. Lifting you up, the both of you shared one last kiss before rushing to clean off, hoping that Chenle wouldn't notice anything.

MONDAY.

"I told Hyunjin to stop bringing girl to the dorm because he always gets too loud in bed." Seungmin complained, "It's so awkward the next morning too!"

"Uhuh."

He eyed you, watching as you were distracted with something on your mind, "And then, the girl ask for a threesome so I did it with both of them, outside the balcony." He lied, watching as you didn't perk up at his bizzare story.

"Cool." You said off-handedly.

"So, I'm assuming that it went not so well." Seungmin observed, watching as you zooned out on him, which causes the male to snap his hands in front of you.

"What?"

"Nevermind." He scoffed playfully, "Seems like you have a lot on your plate.

"You have no idea." You laughed nervously. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." He laughed, "I don't blame you. We're barely given any breaks, it's driving me crazy too." You nodded, humming to his words as the both of you walked around campus.

"If you want, we can hang out by th—"

Before the male could finish his sentence, he was cut off by another person making their way towards the both of you. Jisung's arms wrapped around you tightly as he basically pulled you away from the other.

"Hi." Jisung greeted the both of you, though he was only keeping his gaze on you and completely ignoring the other.

"Hey."

After the trip, you had become well-aware of Jisung's hatred towards Seungmin, which was purely out of jealousy. So it came to no suprise that the said boy would suddenly appear between the two of you in the middle of the hallway, squeezing his way to maintain the space and slightly shoving the brown-haired boy. Despite his rudeness, Seungmin was never one to retaliate or confront the other as he was mainly looking at your reaction, to see if you were okay with what's happening and upon seeing your lack of discomfort, Seungmin could only assume that you were back together with Jisung and as much as he tried to remain optimistic for you, he lacked trust for the taller male.

So as he watched Jisung dragged you away while you uttered your goodbye to him, he can't help but dislike the fact that you were willing to go back to Jisung, considering all the things he had done. He didn't want to verbalise his concern as he knew it would upset you so he sighed in defeat, walking towards his lecture.

On the other hand, a string of complaints escaped from your mouth as Jisung's hand were tightly held onto your wrist, dragging you towards a random supply closet. However, your words were cut short when he smashed his lips onto yours, silencing you all while letting his wandering hands trail down below your private area, his lips moving along your jawline. You smiled, secretly liking his jealously.

"Might want to make it quick." You mumbled against his lips, "Or else Chenle might look for you." Your eyes landed on his ringing phone, his best friend calling him in the middle of his situation. The male didn't hesitate to press the decline button before tossing it to the other side of the room, mumbling, "Let's not worry about that."

And that was a week spent fooling around. You would have assumed that you kept it on a low profile but you were proven dead wrong when you were caught smiling to yourself on your phone while your friends shared knowing glances among themselves.

"You seem so giddy recently." Chaeryeong pointed out. "Are you seeing someone?"

Sitting there, you were stunned with the question, snapping out of trance as you cleared your throat, shifting in your seat awkwardly.

"No."

"Oh, she totally is!" Yunjin teased, "Who's the lucky guy?" You denied further, "No one." Which only causes the both of them to only pry oncr more, whining exaggeratedly to get the answer out of you. "Please, we really want to know!"

You laughed at their childish nature and for a moment, there was a brief hesitation as you contemplated whether you should air out your situation to them about Jisung. You knew the both of them disliked the male for what he did, but maybe after a logical explanation, they might undertand.

So that is what you did, you began to explain in details of what went down during the trip to your grandma's house and you watched as their smiles contorted into frowns, you ignored it thinking that the both of them were just being attentive as you continued on with your story.

"What?" Both of them said in unison, incredulously.

"It's serious, this time." You repeated.

"Yeah, we heard that the first time." Chaeryeong scoffed, "But this is Jisung we're talking about."

You sighed, knowing that the two of them still hated his guts no matter what and were now reprimanding you for your actions, you slumped against the seat, the mood of the atmosphere completely being lifted down.

"Are we talking about the same person here?"

"Look, it looks messy but I promise he's changed." You justified, once again.

"So, you guys are in a public relationship." Chaeryeong rebutted.

"Well, not exact—"

"I knew it!" Yunjin lifted up her hands in irritation. "Girl, he's just using you again and you fell for it!"

"That's not true!"

"How blind could you be?" Chaeryeong scolded.

You scoffed.

"Okay, you guys can stop attacking for me now. I really don't need it."

"Right, 'cause it seems like you need to be fucked over by someone multiple times for you to get it." Chaeryeong retaliated.

"Chae—" Yunjin intervened but was shut down by you, "No, let her finish. I want to hear what she has to say next."

"You let Jisung fuck you over because you have no self-respect for yourself!"

Silence filled the table for a moment as none of them were making an attempt to say anything else.

"You know what? Fuck you guys!" You stormed off, grabbing your belongings as you leave the place in anger.

To be concerned is one thing, but to go out of their way to imply that you were easy is a little harsh. Though, you could tell that it was in the heat of the moment considering that Chaeryeong's eyes widened for a second, completely baffled with what she had just said too. She knew she went too far but she couldn't bring herself to apologise, not when you were out here making stupid decisions and being reckless with your behaviour. She hoped that she hadn't pushed you away with her words.

But it seems like it has.

Because pushing the weeks in, you had not said a single thing to any of them, completely ignoring them as you opted to hang out with Seungmin and his friends instead. To say that Yunjin and Chaeryeong were upset was an understatement, the both of them were hurt that you would dropped them for a boy who had caused you emotional damage. Though, Yunjin understood your side and had asked Chaeryeong to apologise and make amends. But the other refused as she was being hard-headed.

The friendship between the three of you started to crack and as much as it pained you, you couldn't possibly bring yourself to face them as you were left upset with their harsh words. To be fair, Yunjin didn't contribute much, but you were still upset at both iof them nonetheless. Even Jisung had started to notice your sour demeanour, from the way you would seem down and distracted while he tried his best to lift up your mood, making sweet gestures and playing the role of a caring boyfriend. Of course, in secrecy when no one is around.

As much as you appreciated it, you can't help but get annoyed when he would blow you off for his friends, or rather, your brother. It seems as though he hasn't made an attempt to tell Chenle about your relationship despite being constantly reminded to, you would have to convince him that Chenle would be okay with it, but the male only shook his head and tells you that he would try to deal with it as soon as he can, in his own way. That had been the usual pattern and you were getting kinda worried that your friends might've been right all along. Though, you had to give him the benefit of the doubt, considering that he had told one of his friends about you, which was Haechan, who honestly didn't look too suprise with the news but ultimately helped the younger keep your relationship a secret.

"Ugh, dude seriously?" Haechan groaned, having had just opened the door, witnessing you straddling Jisung while the both of you make out. "We seat on that couch!"

He watched in amusement as the both of you broke away quickly. You were topless, panickingly trying to find your clothes while Jisung's face was smudged with lipstick, fixing his zipper in a hurry. "Can't you knock!" Jisung looked annoyed.

The older scoffed, leaning against the door frame, "As a matter of fact, I can't. You're lucky I was the one walking in on you guys."

"Still!" You retaliated, fixing yourself up.

"Whatever," He rolled his eyes, "Mark and Chenle are on their way here, I had to sprint to get here first so you better thank my ass that I did!"

True to his words because not even a second later, your brother and his other roommate emerged inside the dorm, shocked displayed on their faces when they have discovered you were inside as well.

"Sis? What are you doing here?" Chenle asked incredulously.

"I need to take notes from Jisung." You made up an excuse, getting ready to pack your stuff. "Don't you have your other friends for that?" Your brother rebutted.

"Chill, dude." Haechan patted the younger's back. "If I hadn't known better, you seem like you got a crush on Jisung." He joked, which causes Chenle to hit the older by the shoulder, smacking him relentlessly while his roommates laughed.

"Alright, that's enough." Mark jokingly intervened, "We have to set up this place as soon as we can."

That seemed to caught your attention.

"Why? What are you guys doing?"

"None of your business, nosy." Chenle retorted.

"We're having a party." Mark answered instead, "The boys made a draw and it's our turn to host the party."

"Oh." You looked towards Jisung, confused as to why he didn't tell you. "Yeah, so if you don't mind, can you leave and come back again once we're done." Chenle said, making his way to his room, Mark and Haechan following behind.

"Why didn't you tell me?" You asked, now that it was just you two. He shrugged, "It's not a big deal. It's just some stupid party."

"Okay then." You said monotonously, walking away.

But Jisung seemed to pick up on your mood, following you close behind.

"No, wait, baby." He grabbed your wrist, turning you around, "Why are you upset?"

"I'm upset because you always keep secrets from me and we were supposed to hang out tonight. Were you just gonna bail me last minute?" You asked in annoyance but the male shook his head, "No, of course not. I wasn't even planning to stay. I'm just helping them set up."

You laughed, "As if Chenle would let you bail."

"I'll try to sneak out."

You hesitated.

"Do you trust me?" He asked.

"Of course."

You should've known not to be easily led on, especially when Jisung hadn't picked up his calls despite it being hours ago. You shrugged it off, thinking he was still busy but you soon came to find Haechan's instagram story, a picture where all of them were partying in their dorm, including Jisung.

You were boiling from anger, "Seungmin, can you do me a favour?"

Thankfully, the drive wasn't far, and Seungmin had been kind enough to give you a ride as you made your way to the party. For some reason, a part of you had a feeling this wouldn't end well but you decided to push it aside as you walked towards the front door. You were immediately greeted by a stench of alcohol, drunk people swaying around as you hear cheering from a distance. Walking towards the noise in search for your boyfriend as Seungmin trailed behind you, gulping nervously at your hot-headed demeanour.

There stood, Jisung, a hand holding a ping pong ball while he stuck his tongue out in concentration, eyes squinting to get a good aim for the red solo cup. For a moment, it seemed harmless and you would've felt a bit embarassed for overreacting but when the cheering became louder as Jisung scored a point, you couldn't help but stay rooted on your spot, eyes focused on Jisung as his friends cheered him on with a pat to his back.

Just then, NingNing came into view and pulled the male by the neck to plant a kiss to his lips, wolf whistles followed after and you could've swore that you heard your heart shattered in the process. You watched as tears rolled down your eyes, betrayal in the pit of your stomach as Jisung looked stunned, not making an attempt to pull away.

Conveniently, right as he did, his eyes landed onto yours and you saw how his eyes widened in shock, mouth hung open as if he was trying to come up with an excuse.

You scoffed and began walking away, ignoring the calls of your name as Jisung squeezed his way between the crowds of drunkard people.

"Wait!" Jisung grabbed your arm, stopping you just as had gotten outside. "I can explain—"

You ripped his hand away in disgust, "No need. You made things perfectly clear back there."

He called your name again in desperation.

"Please, just hear me out."

"No!" You shouted, "I'm sick of being treated like an idiot."

"I'll admit, you fooled me once. It was on you." You laughed bitterly, "But you did it again and again, so now, I can't even blame you. Because I am such a fucking idiot to believe you would have changed."

"I have!"

"No, you haven't!" You retorted, "You don't care about me because all you ever do is come to me whenever you need to fill out your desires, you are fucking selfish!"

"Please." He whispered, urgency laced in his tone.

"I should've never trusted you and I'm dead serious when I say I want you to leave me the fuck alone now."

He took a step forward, hand holding your wrist desperately, "No, I can fix—"

"I don't want anything to do with you, Jisung!" You pulled away.

"Please. Please, I'm really sorry!" He grabbed you again, pleads and begs as strings of apologies escaped his mouth.

"I don't care!"

"It was a mistake. I have no feel—"

"She told you to back off!" Ultimately, it was Seungmin who had cutted him off, shoving the other to the ground.

Jisung stood up in anger, red in the face. "Why don't you mind your goddamn business!"

"She made it pretty clear she wants nothing to do with you, man! Respect that!" He spits, which only frustates Jisung, scoffing lightly as he provoked, "You know she doesn't fucking like you, right? You've been stuck in the friendzone for like what? 3 months? Wished it was you who gets to fuck her instead, huh?"

"Guys, let's not—" You intervened, but it was too late because Seungmin threw the first punch. Blood dripping on Jisung's nose as you gasped in horror, the male didn't seem too affected with the attack as he tackled Seungmin to the ground, beating him up relentlessly. You stood in shock as you begged them to stop, tears streaming down your cheeks as Seungmin began kicking Jisung's ribs. The whole scene became a mess.

Eventually, the commotion caught the attention of the other people from the party because soon, Chenle and Haechan began pulling both men away from each other, struggling to hold then down.

"Hey! What the fuck is happening?" Chenle looked at you, "What did you do?"

"You should probably ask your friend." Seungmin answered. "He was the one who fucked over your sister!"

Multiple gasps were heard, others watching as the scene unfolds.

Chenle face contorted to confusion as he turned to face the taller male, "What is he talking about Ji?" But the male didn't respond, his head hung low in shame as Seungmin chuckled humourlessly, "Your friend has been fucking your sister behind your back for months, using her and all that shit but I'm sure Ji over there will explain it to you better."

"Is it true?" Chenle asked in anger, taking a step towards Jisung, which causes Haechan to stop him, "Let's not start anything more, alright?"

"Why?" Chenle prodded, "Do you know about it?" This causes the older to become silent, only confirming what was his answer.

Thankfully, Mark came in and kicked everyone out, making them disperse away from the scene and soon, all of the three boys were left in their messy dorm, having had Seungmin dragged your sobbing mess away, making Jisung the one to explain what he had done.

"This is fucked." Chenle laughed in astonishment. "I mean, not only did you went behind my back but you hurt my sister in the process of doing so."

Jisung could only hung his head in shame.

"I didn't mean to." He meekly uttered.

"But you did!" Chenle yelled, "I've always wondered why she was so obsessed with you but the whole time you were fucking with her mind and making her think she had a chance with you!"

"I didn't fuck with her mind, I love her, okay?" Jisung blurted. "I thought I would do the right thing if— if I just, i don't know! I knew you wouldn't approve of us anyways!"

"Don't fucking twist this shit on me!" Chenle snarled, "Even if you knew I wouldn't approve, why the fuck did you still do it? What was the thought process there? How fucking stupid are you to think you would get away with all this!"

"Dude, let's all calm down, alright." Mark decided to step in, which only causes the younger to get upset.

"No! Don't tell me to calm down." He yelled, causing Mark to take a step back. "He used two people for his own selfishness! Including my sister."

"Don't even get me started on NingNing, you know, the girl you told us you were in love with." He pushed on.

"I wasn't fucking in love with her!" Jisung retaliated, "I only said that so you could get off my fucking back about hooking up with other girls!"

A shocked gasp was heard, just then NingNing made her presence known as a tear drop began to fall down her cheeks, cupping her mouth as she ran away out of their dorm.

"NingNing!"

"Look what you did!" Chenle scolded, running after the poor girl.

But Jisung couldn't say anything, his mouth went dry and his heart went numb. Too many emotions running through his head, it started to hurt. Mark and Haechan took noticed of the younger's condition and decided that he needed some time to think for himself and soon the both of them left the dorm, leaving Jisung all alone.

In all the times he had fucked up, this was really the one he had fucked up the most.

Walking around campus, it was the first time Jisung had gotten stares from people. The huge bruise on his face didn't help the fact that most of the people on campus already knew what went down. At this point, he couldn't bring himself to care as he continued to let his head down while walking through the crowd.

However, just as he past by the entrace, he was greeted by certain girl. His heart dropped in anxiousness as he gulped upon seeing the girl he was scared to face, cowardly as he was, he knew that he should own up to his mistakes and take accountablity.

It's now or never.

"Hi." He said, clearing his throat. "I'm sor—"

"Save it." The girl replied sharply.

Jisung couldn't bring himself to look into her eyes, shame and guilt filling him up as he lowered his head. "Let's talk." NingNing checked her wristwatch, "We still have time to spare before our lecture starts."

"O-Of course, if it's what you like." The girl scoffed at his timidness, "Oh please, this is painful for me as much as it is for you but I think I deserve some explanation, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Great, I know a private place to talk because the campus seems so nosy than ever." She joked ligheartedly, eyes darting around the hall. Truth be told because when Jisung turned his head, he saw other students quickly glancing away as he did so, ‟Follow me.”

It has been days and you were still bombarded with texts and calls, all coming from the same person. The same person that you couldn't bring yourself to remove from. It was frustating how pathetic you would be for a boy. A boy that fooled you twice. At this rate, you were only asking for more heartbreak as your only solution is to ignore those calls and messages instead of blocking it completely. Your heart wouldn‛t be able to handle such an emotional turmoil.

You hadn't been able to attend your lectures, skipping them in order to avoid Jisung. You could hear your roommate telling him to go away whenever he would knock on the door, begging to see you. Overtime, Yunjin and Chaeryeong took empathy at your state and offered you solace as the both of them apologised for their harsh words previously. With their help, you were able to slowly get back to your feet and continue to move forward. Though, it was slightly challenging whenever the male would still attempt to talk to you through texts and calls, all of which you ignored.

But maybe that was what you needed. You thought.

As your hand lingers around the ‘block’ button, you began to feel the slight hesitation. Though, a part of you was aching for it, practically begging you to end the trainwreck once and for all.

And this time, you weren‛t going to look back.

FOUR YEARS LATER.

Heels clicking against the marble floor, you were in frantic as you rushed around the wedding halls to make your way to back of the room. Droplets of sweat on your forehead as you sighed in relief, thankful to have arrived early to help the bride.

‟Well, guess who showed up on time.” The bride teased.

Looking at the bride, her hair was beautifully done up into an elegant low bun as her dress was beautifully tailored, shining her features with the expensive jewellery displayed. The bridesmaids gushed upon her ethereal appearance and you gave yourself a pat on the back for helping out with the choices.

‟I‛m really sorry, NingNing.” You rambled, rushing to her side. "Traffic was crazy today but I bought you a donut because I know you didn't eat anything this morning."

‟Thank you.” She smiled.

‟Are you ready?”

‟Of course I am.” She looked at you worriedly, ‟You‛re really okay with all of this?”

‟Are you crazy?" You deadpanned, "Why wouldn‛t I be?”

‟Maybe because she expected you to freak out.” Yunjin chimed in, ‟I mean, I‛m even suprise you‛re okay with it.”

‟It‛s all in the past, anyways.” You waved off, ‟Plus, we‛re going to be sister-in-laws!”

Three years ago, Chenle and NingNing had began hitting it off. After the night that NingNing heart went broken by his best friend, Chenle consoled her and offered her comfort. It wasn't as sudden as it seems because the both of them didn't gain feeling until a year later, having had been friends first and eventually grew closer. This news hadn't shocked his whole friend group though since their not-so-subtle flirting was as obvious as broad daylight.

Eventually, you had began seeing NingNing often in family gatherings when Chenle were to invite her into one. If you were being honest, through the initial start, it was awkward and tense between the two of you but eventually, you managed to put that aside and NingNing had became one of your close friends. You would occasionally steal her away from Chenle and make her hang out with your friends instead.

Which was why, when Chenle and NingNing had announced their engagement, NingNing had given you the title of 'maid-of-honour' when it was around the time the both of them have planned for their wedding. You were up and arms, in tears of happiness for the couple.

You couldn't have been more content for them.

Though, that meant that you would have to see an expected guest, in which Cenle had informed you beforehand and made sure you were okay with it.

To be completely honest, after blocking his number, you hadn't heard much of him. After graduation, you saw him approaching you but you ultimately shut him down, ignoring his presence and you hadn't seen him since. According to Chenle, he chose to travel abroad for his job in Osaka and although you were shattered with the news, you knew it was for the better as it would be easier for you to move on.

And that was the last time you saw him.

Fast forward as you let out a nervous breath, having had those years being away to finally being able to see him. You didn't know whether you should be excited or nervous.

You watched as NingNing walked across the aisle, holding onto her father as she suppressed her tears of happiness. You looked over towards your brother, watching as he too, held back his tears. Usually, you would've teased him for being emotional but you couldn't help but feel the warmth in your heart as the both of them have finally found love in each other.

As you scanned the wedding halls, your eyes landed onto a familiar pair of eyes. Your heart stopped for a moment as your breath hitched, watching as Jisung stared back at you. A look that you couldn't quite put a finger on.

"It's all good now, Jisung." NingNing assured, "I just thought you liked me from the way Chenle seemed to hype you up."

"Yeah, I'm sorry for leading you on." He apologised, following NingNing as the both of them walked through the empty hallways.

"Jisung, can you do me a favour?" She spoke up, "Stop apologising." She joked.

"Yeah, man." Chenle suddenly appeared, "It's getting annoying."

"Chen—"

"See you later, NingNing." He waved off.

NingNing only winked back as she made her way inside her lecture.

A moment of silence passed by, and Jisung swore he felt more nervous than ever, coming up ways to figure out what he was going to say.

"If you want to say something." Chenle interrupted, "Just say it, the silence is killing me."

"I'm sorry, Chenle." The male uttered, for a moment Chenle looked over in pity at Jisung, watching how distraught he looked. "You know, I was ready to beat you up next." He started, "But if you were really honest from the start, I would've understood you better."

"I'm just upset that you didn't trust me enough to tell me."

"I'm sorry— ow! Fuck!" Jisung shouted as the other smacked his face harshly, "What was that for?"

"Stop apologising, it's annoying."

"I— dude, I wasn't even going to say it!" He rubbed his other cheek that Chenle had slapped, glaring as Chenle offered him a smug smile. "I know."

He rolled his eyes.

"But in all seriousness." Jisung spoke up, "I really fucked up so is there any way I can make this up?"

Chenle seemed to think about it for a moment, rubbing his chin, "Well, there is one."

"If you like my sister, just go for it. You have my approval this time."

As you watched the both of them exchange their wedding vows, cheers emitted the wedding halls as the newly-wed couple shared a loving kiss. Your eyes scanned back to the crowd.

"Just go." Chaeryeong ushered, "We'll cover you up."

You smiled, thanking her before you quickly rushed off, politely pushing out relatives as you tried to find the black-haired boy.

Just then, you bumped into a certain someone. Looking up, you were suddenly greeted with Seungmin. His warm smile reached his lips as he greeted you.

"Seungmin. You came." You said in shocked.

"Yeah, couldn't miss this out."

Truth be told, Seungmin had confessed his feelings for you a few years ago, to which you had rejected him politely. You would've assumed that would caused some damages to your friendship but he was respectful with your decisions and still remained friends, keeping in touch even after graduation.

"Babe?" A voice suddenly called out, Seungmin turned around, "Hey, this is the maid-of-honour, I was talking about." He turned towards you, uttering your name as he introduced you to his girlfriend.

"It's nice to meet you but I have to go." You said as friendly as you could, not wanting to appear rude.

Seungmin gave you a knowing look.

"Jisung's right by the bar."

You thanked him as you squeezed your way, trying your best to not seemed to eager to see him. As you approached his figure, his back was turned towards you and you hesitated to call out to him.

Hesitantly, you tapped on his back and you watched as he turned around slowly. It seemed as if time had slowed down, as clichè as it sounds, because when you stared longingly into those eyes, it brings back fond memories and deep down, you knew that your feelings for him would never fade, no matter how hard you try to deny it. You wished that the moment would last for eternity. You were relieved when you could see the way he looked back at you lovingly, saying a million thoughts behind those eyes, the thought of which that he had still held those feeling for you just as dearly.

"Hi." You said breathlessly, still in trance.

"Hi." He chuckled, "It's been awhile, do you want to catch up?"

Were you willing to take that chance again?

©ruwriteshours

[jasntodds]

Penance [1]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 7,340

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, mentions of death, mentions of injuries, a little blood, a little bit of violence

Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞

It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?

Right?

A/N: It's finally the last book!! I'm honestly so excited lol You don't have to read the previous books to read this one but if you want context, feel free to ask!! You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Everything is different. Somehow, everything has changed so much over the last month and a half everything that happened before almost feels like some sort of sick fever dream. It's all very real and all of it happened but everything is different today. At least, to Jason it feels different.

Gotham itself is pretty much the same. Bruce has been back and doing his whole Batman thing. The only difference is he doesn't have a Robin now but his methods remain the same, it's the same routine for him, same big bads. It's the same for him. The businesses that were boarded up during Crane's reign are up and running, everything looking to be the same just as it was before. The air around the city is still smoggy and the rain is still cold and wet. The streets sound the same just as they always did and the gargoyle keeps Jason company just as it did before. So much is the same but he feels like everything is different.

Instead of him and Bruce butting heads over him being Robin, they're butting heads over his methods. Bruce has no issue with Red Hood but he does have a problem with the killing part of it. And Jason won't budge. He swears he's not bitter about what happened but he is firm in his belief that change needs to happen. It stops with him and Bruce can either fight him or get on board. They are trying to come to some sort of agreement which is significantly better than how it would have went before. Bruce keeps the Robin suit in the case. He won't tell Jason why.

Their relationship is different now. Jason thinks it might be for the better.

He hopes it's for the better.

His living situation is different than it was before. He has his own place, the main safe house he used while Crane ran the city. It's not anything too special yet and Jason doesn't have too many things that are his but it's coming along. And that is his. It almost feels like it did when he was on the streets but this time, it is his choice. It is his choice to be alone here. And he owns it. No one can come and kick him out, no one can come and arrest him for trespassing and breaking and entering, it is his. It might feel lonely sometimes after living with Bruce and the Titans for so long but it is his and it brings him some sort of pride in a way.

He works with Barbara mostly now. Whenever something a bit more dicey pops up or Bruce is busy, she calls Jason. It's his literal job now and he would be lying if he said he didn't like it. Him and Babs get along better now. Actually, him and the Titans get along better now. There's still plenty of work to be done but his relationship with them has been on the mend, something he is eternally grateful for. He still owes them.

Then there's you.

Things are different with you.

"I will be back as soon as the threat is taken care of." Bruce states as he grabs a few things from the Batcave. "Are you sure you can handle this?" Bruce asks, not because of his lack of confidence in Jason's abilities but rather his general mental health.

"I got it, man." Jason brushes him off. "Nothing I haven't done before. You've gone with the Justice League plenty of times." Jason holds back his snippy attitude, trying his best to level with Bruce and not let his anger get the best of him.

"Before you were..." Bruce trails off in a way that makes Jason shift his weight off his bad leg. "Robin." He nods once, sternly and hard. "That was before."

"I'm fine." Jason nearly whines, desperate to not get into that. They don't talk about it. "I got it." He gestures his arms out casually.

"Okay." Bruce states with a sigh. "Do not blow anything or anyone up again." Bruce warns.

The touch of a smirk pulls at his lips. "I don't know what the fuck you're talking about."

There may have been an explosion near Harbor last week with some gun runners inside. Jason may or may not have been in the area patrolling. And that group may or may not have been the group Jason had been tracking over the last few days. Jason does think the explosion really helped though. They got all the guns and all the people involved in one sweep. Seemed efficient.

"I know it was you." Bruce states easily.

"Nope." Jason shakes his head but the grin is tugging at his lips, knowing damn well he's guilty.

Bruce lets out a sigh, not bothering to argue with him over it. "Just...keep it down, Jason." Bruce states and he's gone out of town a hundred times but something about this being the first time since Jason died and has been brought back almost makes him nervous.

Jason can handle himself. He's been doing it. This is only his second time in the Batcave over the last month and a half and only his third time back at the manor. He's doing well on his own, all things considered, but he is Bruce's son and Bruce does worry even if he doesn't show it.

"It'll be fine, just go. I got it all handled. Pick up your job you're working, almost got the one from Babs and..." Jason pauses feeling his mouth run dry. "Molly said y/n's got a few she's working."

Bruce eyes him, knowing very little but knowing enough about the situation between the two of you. "You should call her." Bruce tries to say it casually.

"No." Jason states simply. "And you're not allowed to give me advice here. The one that got away? Seriously, man?" Jason lets out a scoff.

Of all people, Jason does not want relationship advice from Bruce. Bruce had a solid chance with Selina and apparently, he's still hung up on her and is doing nothing about it. He could have had something great with Talia, too but that didn't end well. Jason is not looking to take advice from Bruce and he's thinking he shouldn't be taking much relationship advice from anyone he knows. No one seems to be getting that department together anytime soon. The way he sees it, this is fine.

It's fine.

"How did Tim know that?" Bruce questions Jason plainly.

"He stalks us." Jason nearly chortles.

"Well, that is all my advice. Call her, Jason." Bruce nods once at him.

"I'm good." Jason shakes his head. "Now go before Clark shows up and drags you back with him."

Bruce lets out a sigh, making his way through the living room. Bruce offered to let him stay at the manor which Jason declined. He's on his own. He can't come back here. If he's even being honest, he's only thinking Bruce called him to "look out over his jurisdictions" just to check up on him, make sure he feels useful as if Jason doesn't have his own work he's doing. Somewhere in his chest he wants to be mad and fight back over it, swear it's because Bruce doesn't think he can handle it so he's setting him up to prove a point to get him back. But Jason bites it all back, deciding to tell his mind to shut up for fucking once and let this just play out.

He sees Leslie once a week and that helps. He thinks he'll just tell her about it.

Jason finds himself back at the place he's calling home, enabling the alarms once he's safe inside. It's messy and somewhere in the back of his head, he can hear the echo of your voice telling him he should clean because he's not busy now. And he looks at the stuff on the floor, almost willing himself to listen, and then he heads upstairs anyway.

If Jason Todd is good at anything, it's being alone. He's been alone almost his whole life. Even when his dad was around, he was drunk or mean...so he was alone. Even when his mom was alive, she was usually high. She wasn't really with him very much. He adapted to what it's like to be alone. To fend for himself always and somewhere deep in his broken heart, he wishes it weren't this way but he's good at it. He has always pushed until he was alone. He is a natural disaster ripping through the hearts of people who love him so maybe being alone has always been better for him. At least the only thing left to destroy is himself.

Even if being lonely is some of the worst kind of hurt. But this is his penance.

One day, he swears, it won't be like this. That's the point of talking to Leslie and getting along with Bruce and being himself today. One day it won't be like this. A day will come when he won't have to punish himself for all the hurt he's caused. He won't have to punish himself for all the scars he bears at the hands of others and himself. One day he won't have to punish himself for the person he could have been. It just has to be like this today. So, Jason goes up to his room where he keeps his training equipment and monitors and he starts to work on the cipher until it's time for patrol.

The city is warm tonight. Cars are crowding the streets while people walk home from their Saturday night out and a smile pulls at your lips from under your mask as you watch the people below you. Patrol has just started and you're mostly waiting and listening, knowing something is going to happen because it always does on Saturday nights. But, you'd be lying if you said you don't like the view from where you are. Something about Gotham always being pretty at night.

The smog isn't visible, it doesn't look dreary as it usually does during the day. It's just street lights and busy people walking about. A part of you can't believe just a few months ago you were terrified of heights and now you actually enjoy the view.

Things have changed a lot since then.

You live with Molly now, probably how it always should have been. You share a small apartment, this one has better locks on the doors and windows. And every night you teach Molly some self-defense, just in case. If you've learned one thing, it's that you cannot save everyone but you can help them. At least if Molly is somewhat prepared, she has a chance though you could tell by how she moved and certain things she already knew that Jason had taught her a few things before San Francisco. Living with her is nice though. She understands you and there is no judgment. You aren't alone.

Gar and Tim talk to you every single day, updating you with whatever is going on. At first, it was fun stuff on the road trip like sightseeing and museums and bowling. Now, it's the hell Metropolis is currently under. You've never been so happy you stayed behind. You do not want to fight a demon. You'll never admit it, but you wouldn't stand a single chance against Rachel let alone Mother Mayhem and Brother Blood. Though, you are disappointed you missed the whole zombie situation. You're just glad the boys keep you up to date with everything and you talk to Dick and Kory all the time, too. That doesn't feel too different. It feels almost like it did when you first came back to Gotham and you like it this way.

And then there's Jason.

Things are different with Jason.

"Robbery in progress in the East End, convenience store." Molly says through the comms.

"Got it, send the address." You grin wildly behind your mask before you use your grappling hook to lower yourself down the backside of the building.

Molly helping out has been new. You aren't too happy about that part but...Molly was insistent and to tell her no would make you a hypocrite. Molly stays back and is youe eyes in the skies kind of deal which has been very helpful when it comes to patrol. At least that's nice.

You take the bike and head to the address Molly sent you. Patrolling is different now, too. You've always patrolled with Bruce or Jason or the Titans. Even when Jason died, you weren't patrolling. You had set targets and that's who you went out to grab. This is patrol. This is different. You're alone with Molly in your ear. You thought maybe you wouldn't like it, Iike maybe you'd actually be really bad at it being alone. But, if you were being honest, you're really enjoying it this way. You're good at it. And it's fun and you don't have to worry about anyone else. It's just you. Your life. That's it. And you like the thrill a little bit.

Jason shoves the last of four men to the ground, his hands zip-tied behind his back and the man lets out a groan. He glares up at Jason with blood streaming down his nose, his friends all a bit battered but have learned to keep quiet. This one is annoying.

"You broke my fucking nose!" He screams up at Jason.

Jason never quite understood why people committing crimes who get caught, like in this instance for example, are confused by their injuries. They showed up to rob a local small business and expected to get away with it. They're here to possibly ruin something that someone has earned and worked very hard for just because they can. A broken nose seems to be a pretty good deal.

He's not even a stranger to robbery but these guys walked in there armed and prepared to shoot anyone who wanted to get in the way. Jason was also a teenager and desperate. These four men don't seem to be in the same boat and the way Jason sees it, there was no reason to hold a gun to someone's face for a hundred dollars in a cash register. These are not master criminals.

"You're lucky I'm in a good mood or your nose would be the last of your worries." Jason says casually through the modulator.

"Good mood?!" The man yells back as if he's the real victim in this situation.

"Yeah, good mood." Jason echoes back about to make another smart comment until he hears the sound of a motorcycle pulling up.

Jason turns around just in time to see it stop and he'd recognize the bike anywhere because it's the same one as his. He'd recognize the blue and black suit anywhere because it's yours.

You pop the helmet off and Jason swears his very heart just burst into flames into his chest and it might just burn through his ribcage. The corner of his lips starts to tug into a shielded smile at the sight of you and his only thought is that he misses you. He asks about you to your friends, not too often but...often enough for them to know. All of them say the same things, you're doing okay but they're worried. You're working with Barbara, too, running different jobs for the PD and you check in on Tim's parents every single day.

Molly always says the least about you.

Every single bone in his body feels hollowed seeing you. But when you lock eyes with him and you don't look happy, the guilt comes back baring its teeth and digging them right into his jugular.

It has been a month and a half and he is trying his best. It hasn't been easy and some days he doesn't try but generally, he's trying. It's hard whenever every breath he takes is haunted by the day he took his last. It's hard trying to figure out his footing. Jason Todd is Red Hood. He knows that. He is Red Hood. Red Hood protects innocent people and uses any means necessary to make sure they stay safe. But he is not a hero. He is doing what must be done and that is all. Jason Todd is Red Hood but outside of that, he doesn't know yet. Instead, he wraps himself in a straightjacket of guilt and remorse and agony and hopes that'll be enough to repay his debts to misery and happiness.

You eye him and it's like you're being exposed to the entire city in an instant. It's as if your suit and mask have been ripped from your body and every scar and insecurity and vulnerability is being displayed in some sort of sick museum as you see him. You have separate sections of the city. You, him, and Bruce. This is Bruce's section but he's out of town with the Justice League. It would have been Jason's to pick up but you didn't even question it when Molly mentioned it.

You wish you would have questioned it.

It is almost a relief he wears a full-face helmet because you aren't entirely sure what you would do if you saw his face, saw his expression. Would he be happy to see you? Disappointed? Mad? Would there be anything left at all or would he just look at you like he would any other vigilante showing up a little too late to help? You aren't sure which of those would be easier to swallow.

Something builds in the space between you, something hard and damaged, sucking the air out from between you. It snarls back at you both almost daring you to go ahead and try to move. Try to make the space less and see just how badly the teeth of grief will hurt this time. Go ahead and tempt death for old time's sake and guilt. Go ahead and try to mend this and pretend it's some sort of coincidence, as if fate has any hand in this. It bites and gnaws at you both as water brims in your eyes, every emotion bubbling over to the surface and grief screams out to you both.

Go ahead and try again, see just how badly this will all end again. It will only end in bloody hands and shredded agony. Guilt laughs in your faces, a devious crackle as if you are not worth the other. The both of you do not deserve forgiveness for the torture you've caused the other. Walk away. You both can hear it over and over again, guilt and grief and resentment and loneliness, walk away.

So, you do.

You pop the helmet back on your head just as Jason turns back to the robbers.

"Where are you going?" Molly asks through the comms as she watches the tracker on her screen start moving.

"You can see him here." You seethe. "I know you can see him, too."

Molly has all of your locations. She shares them with Bruce. It was part of an agreement with her doing this eyes in the skies thing and you being able to keep patrolling. It's how you all keep your sections of the city. Molly knows Jason is here.

"He wasn't when I sent you, I swear." Molly defends softly. It's not a lie, she just didn't mention when Jason happened to be moving towards the robbery. "He showed up but you were already on your way—"

"So you didn't tell me?!" You yell. "Seriously?"

Somewhere in the last month and a half, grief has metastasized into something resembling resentment. It's not him. You know that. But, seeing him just now brings back too many feelings you've yet to deal with properly, you're trying but you haven't gotten that far yet.

Grief bubbles back and transforms into something like resentment because you should be together. You should fucking happy and you aren't. You are, generally, but there is this void echoing in your chest. A burning pain right on your heart where his name was stitched. It sucks to be blind-sided into seeing him even if the resentment is towards yourself. You just would have liked some fucking warning about it.

You need to be prepared if you're going to see him and you aren't entirely sure you're ready. There's still a lot of shame even if missing him makes you feel like Atlas. Half the damn time it takes everything in you not to call him. Something will happen and he is still the first person you want to tell. But, you're not talking. Instead, you get updates about him through Molly and Gar and Tim. All of them have said he seems okay while sounding worried about him. It's hard not to worry about him. He's Jason. You think that's your only relief, knowing he's at least doing okay.

You just wish you had it in yourself to check in but he said space and you said space. You agreed and guilt and shame suck the very air out of your lungs to the point where you think this is your way of punishing yourself for everything you've done to him. Forcing yourself to not contact him first and check-in. You're punishing yourself but keeping to what you know and staying away from him. Maybe it was him who was always better off.

Molly sighs. "You have to talk to him eventually." Molly rolls her eyes on the other end and decides to drop it. She can hear the engine of the bike roaring louder than usual. This conversation is not one to have at the moment. "Mugging two blocks from you, take a right."

She is thankful the two of you have not put her in the middle. The most that happens is you both asking about each other. Other than that, you don't ask. You don't mention each other. It's as if you only know of each other through your mutual friends. Molly thinks that might actually be worse sometimes.

Jason gets back to his safe house and strips from the Red Hood gear. He heads right for the shower. Seeing you tonight, it feels like a lot. He never tried to kill you but somehow, you're the person he betrayed the most and dealing with that has been a lot harder than most of the rest of it. Your dedication and loyalty to him he thinks has made it so hard. To have someone so loyal and love him the way you did, sends his head fuzzy with regret knowing the pain he caused you.

At first, Jason thought it'd be a week or two. You'd both cave and talk again and then one thing would lead to another. Maybe it wouldn't be the healthiest way to deal with your shit, but you'd be together and you'd figure it out. But then a week or two turned into three and then four and then six. The more time that passes, the harder it gets to pick up the phone. Maybe that's why he asks Gar and Tim and Molly about you. They all say you're good but they're worried about you. They're always worried about you. But at least you've been good and Jason is grateful for that. He just wishes he had it in himself to suck it up and just call you. But, he doesn't so he showers away the thoughts of you and drowns himself in his guilt and regret.

By the time he's out of the shower, his phone is ringing and he's drying his hair with a towel, the white streak staring back at him in the mirror and he's still mad Dick didn't get the same thing he did.

"Yeah?" Jason answers the phone.

"I need your help." Dick states on the other end.

Jason pulls the phone from his head, looking at the caller ID before he puts the phone back to his ear. "With?"

"Training Tim." Dick states.

Jason almost laughs at the very statement. It's not that Dick is asking for help in the training department, he has before. That's fine. It's that Tim is supposed to be Robin out there and Jason knows they are actively fighting demons and zombies. Tim should absolutely be getting trained in between all of that.

"You haven't trained him yet?" Jason scoffs in surprise before he walks out of the en suite and into his bedroom.

"We've been busy." Dick scoffs back knowing damn well Jason knows what's been happening. Dick has mentioned it and Gar gives Dick updates about Jason meaning Gar talks to him plenty. "Between everything that's been going on since we got to Metropolis, we haven't had time."

Jason chuckles softly on the other end. "Yeah, uh, Gar was telling about me about the zombie shit. Fucking Deathstroke? Glad I wasn't there." Jason laughs softly and he can't see it but there might even be a faint smile on Dick's lips. He sounds good.

"Yeah," Dick huffs, running a hand through his hair. "You gonna be able to help?" Dick asks.

"Yeah, I owe you anyway." Jason agrees. "Not gonna go easy on him though. I'm gonna make sure he's ready when he comes back."

It doesn't take Jason long to have his decision. There's something...weird with someone replacing him in a way, as Robin. But, if someone is going to be Robin, they have to be prepared, more prepared than he was. Jason doesn't want someone else to end up like him and he knows Tim, kind of. He owes Dick for everything Jason has put him through and Jason did always like helping with the training. It's not a difficult decision.

"Good, that's what I expect." Dick nearly chuckles. "If he's going to be Robin, he needs a good teacher."

"Wouldn't go that far, man." Jason shakes his head, still getting used to Dick being nice.

"You trained y/n and look at what she can do. That is mostly on you. Do the same for Tim. I'll have him in Gotham tomorrow."

"You just gonna send him to me?" Jason's brows pull together as he puts a hand on his hip.

"No, I'm going to send him on a mission that is all just a ruse to get him there. You'll find him and go from there. Don't tell him." Dick explains simply as if Jason should have known Dick would have a...ruse?

"So, you're gonna send him here on a fake mission with no training as Robin?" Jason lets out a laugh. That's ridiculous and somehow Jason finds himself not entirely surprised. "Why not just fucking tell him, man?"

"I want to instill confidence in him." Dick states, almost defensively. He's trying his best and he also knows that Tim is very confident and maybe he needs to see he needs the help. "Should have done it with you guys. Not making the mistake again."

Jason clears his through. "Yeah, okay, deserved that." Jason shakes his head. "Alright, just let me know when he's on his way and where I need to be. I'll get him ready to actually be Robin."

"Thanks, Jason." Dick's voice is sincere.

"Yeah, don't mention it." Jason lets out a sigh before he hangs up.

He plops onto his bed, his eyes falling onto the helmet resting on the dresser on the opposite side of the room. Right after leaving the manor from talking to Bruce, this is not where he saw Red Hood being. Being a vigilante is now something Jason feels like he has to do, he likes it but he is trained to do it. He's trained to help people and if no one else is going to help them, Jason might as well. It's taken a little getting used to, rebranding Red Hood in a way. Red Hood is not a murderer. He kills really horrible people for the greater good. He targets people like Black Mask and Penguin by working his own circle to steal their business. He sabotages their work and steals their shipments. That part is always a bit fun. Red Hood patrols Crime Alley. He helps them. He is not a murderer.

He's still getting used to it but it's better than it was. Even if the blood on his hands burns from time to time.

This is kind of nice though, the ability to train Tim. He does miss that part a bit, training with someone. Training alone only does so much sometimes. Jason liked helping train the other younger Titans. It made him feel important and now he gets to train Tim. He'll never tell Dick, but it means a lot for him to ask for help here even if it's just because the Titans have been busy.

This is the last one for the night. You've been tracking this group of people who work for a pretty bad pimp in the city. You've gotten a couple of the women to turn and Barbara has put them into protective custody, immunity from any and all charges. It's not them they want anyway. It's the pimp and his right hand but when women stopped showing up, he got wind and went into hiding. So, did most of his men and women. Until tonight when Molly grabbed one of them on a camera in Gotham Heights. You wasted no time in trailing him.

The second this guy sees you, he takes off like a bat out of hell and the only thing you can do is roll your eyes and go after him. They always run. It's like they really think running is going to work for them. Between the cardio and the grappling hook and the bike, why do they think they'll actually get away? They always run.

The guy thinks he's smarter and quicker. Well, maybe he's quicker but he is not smarter. Molly is tracking him through every traffic camera he hits while you stay a good distance behind him until the opportunity comes for you to get onto a rooftop and continue the chase that way. He's heading somwhere, it won't be toward his boss. There's no way he's that stupid but he is heading into the perfect spot for you to grab him.

You turn off and then jump a few more buildings before ducking down into an alley. You walk to the very end and then wait a few seconds for the running footsteps to come closer. You grab a knife from your belt and then just as he goes to run past, you grab him, spinning him and pinning him against the alley wall.

You hold the knife to his neck and press it into his skin, not enough to cause serious damage, just enough to let him bleed. Blood gets people talking quicker and you're tired and hungry.

"Where is he?" You demand.

The man gulps and the blade presses into his neck further, his breathing heavy and shallow. "I don't know who you're—"

"Your boss. Yes, you do. You're all in hiding but you came out and for what? Where he is?" You question again, not in the mood to even let him think for a second he's smarter than you.

He looks at you with terror. Somehow, he wishes it were The Bat that grabbed him and yet he finds himself thankful it's not The Red Hood. The Bat won't kill him but Red Hood would make sure his death was painful if he really wanted to. You're not one to be messed with either. But his boss? That's just signing his death certificate.

You pull the knife away, kneeing him in the stomach before you land a punch to his face. You don't want to kill him. You read his record. Wrong crowd at sixteen. He was probably manipulated into this, too. He's a victim, too. But, he needs to give up his boss.

The man groans, sliding down the wall as he holds his jaw. "Fuck!"

"Tell me." You grit your teeth.

"He'll fucking kill me! I'd rather you just send me to Arkham or Blackgate! I'm not a fuckin' rat." The guy seethes but there's a quiver in his voice.

You roll your eyes. "Yes, I'm aware he'll kill you."

"What the fu—"

"So tell me and give me a reason to make sure he doesn't." You offer. "You think I'm here to kill you? If I wanted you dead, I'd kill you myself. Tell me and we'll protect you." The offer is genuine even if it comes out snippy.

"I don't believe a damn thing you say." The man gives you a weak scoff and diverts his eyes to the street.

"That's a you problem then. I'm trying to help you while you help me." You offer. "It's a real offer."

"Immunity then." The man fires back without even thinking.

You scoff. Does he not realize that the whole vigilante thing is still a crime? You can't promise that. "No. And I don't have the ability to promise that anyway. Work out with the DA. I can get you into protective custody though if you give him up."

Barbara has you working this case involving some sort of ring with sex workers. It's definitely more than just some guy calling the shots and dividing up money. Missing women, bodies turning up, drugs, it all seems to lead back to him. Your argument was that half the people working under this guy are victims, too. Some of those people are given the opportunity to flip and if they do, they're given protection. Barbara said the DA isn't too happy about it and some of the civilians will probably be pissed but you don't care. Not all of them have to go down with the ship.

"Look, he's going to find out you were with me and he's going to think you flipped or you're thinking about it. You're a dead man the second you walk out of this alley if you don't help me and we both know it."

The man lets out a sigh. "Crime Alley." He finally caves. "I don't know exactly where. I heard there are only a few women who know and then his right hand, that's it."

You nod accepting the response. It's way better than nothing. "Thank you."

"You're really gonna help?"

"Yeah, of course." You get to your feet.

"Why?"

You shrug. "You're not the big problem here." You answer casually. "My advice though, take whatever punishment is dealt to you and serve it and then get out. There's a program. The commissioner will give you information about it if they decide to try you."

"Thank you." The guy nods.

"Mhm." You hum, pulling out your own zip ties before you zip tie his hands together but before you get Molly to call Barbara, Molly comes in through the comms.

"Hey, I've got Dick on the other line, you wanna take it?" Molly asks.

"Yeah, actually, I'm done here. Let the commissioner know he flipped and I got info on him so he's good." You answer.

"Got it." Molly answers before she patches Dick in.

"I need your help with something." Dick starts without wasting a single second.

Your brows pull together. "Uh, hello to you, too?" You question as you get back to your feet. "The fuck do you need my help with? I do not want to go to Metropolis." You let out a chuckle before you look out onto the street and then back back into the alley.

"Superman?!" The guy on the ground yells.

"No, Nightwing." You scoff. "Shut up. You're done talking."

"Are you on a job right now?" Dick almost yells and at this point, he expects nothing less.

"Oh, yeah, just wrapping up." Your voice is almost cheery on the other end.

"Okay..." Dick holds the bridge of his nose, not even wanting to unpack that. "I need you to help train Tim."

You cackle on the other end. "Okay, hold on, let me wrap this up. This shit needs my attention." You laugh looking back to the guy. "Alright they'll be here in a few to arrest you but I gotta head out so...sorry about this." You pull your fist back, punching the guy and knocking him unconscious. "Anyway," You start before you shoot your grappling hook at the roof and start your jumping and walking to your bike. "You need me to do what now?"

"I need you to help train Tim to be Robin." Dick repeats.

"Is that not your job?" You quip back with a laugh.

Dick sighs, seeing as he is clearly going to have the same conversation twice. "We've been busy."

"Yeah, Gar and Tim said something about Zombie Deathstroke. Sounds fucking insane. Glad I'm not there." You laugh before jumping onto a neighboring rooftop. "Wait, okay hold on." You shake your head. "You're gonna send Tim here?"

"Yes. On a fake mission to build confidence." Since he's already had this conversation, Dick knows exactly what to cut out and include in his response to get this conversation over quickly.

"Uh-huh." You nod, getting the feeling there's a bit more to this than Dick is leading on. "Right, yeah, got it. Fair enough, I guess. And why are you asking me?" You ask knowing Jason is right there in Gotham City as well.

"You're good at this, you're the newest member besides Conner but well..."

"Superboy." You finish. "Unfair fight."

"Exactly. You also have your combat clairvoyance. Jason always said you were a good sparring partner because you fit." Dick's voice is casual and simple, you know there's something he is not telling you. He's nicer than he was before. The stick is no longer up his ass, but he's being too nice.

"Yeah, he did." You roll your shoulders before jumping to the next rooftop. "And uh, why are you not asking Jason?" You ask before it goes completely silent. And you know immediately. "Oh, you did." You state.

"I did." Dick answers simply.

Of course, Dick asked Jason first. You aren't offended or hurt by it. Asking Jason to train Tim is smart. But, not immediately telling you means one of two things. Either Jason said yes and Dick is setting you both up which makes you want to jump off this rooftop or Jason said no and Dick just wasn't going to tell you. Unfortunately, you're betting on the first option just because you know Jason wouldn't send Tim to the wolves.

"And he said yes, didn't he?" Your voice is a little snippy this time.

"He did." Dick keeps his voice level, unsure if you're going to start yelling or not.

"Okay so you're asking me to help Jason train Tim but Jason doesn't know you're asking me and you weren't going to tell me but because I asked you were obligated not to lie to me in fear I'd be pissed off enough to walk out and so would Jason?"

"When you put it that way." Dick states. "Look, I know it's complicated right now." Dick tries to reason with you.

"We're not fucking talking, Dick like..." You let out a breath. "He probably doesn't want to see me, ya know?" You nearly whine at the thought because you really believe it.

You hurt him.

"I know but this is for Tim." Dick urges.

You might be giving Dick a hard time but you both know you'll agree. Not only is Dick asking for a favor but it's also Tim. You would never not help Tim especially with everything that's happened. You owe Dick and Tim for everything. But, that doesn't make the situation any easier for you.

"Jason is gonna be pissed if he finds out, ya know?" You ask.

"Yeah." Dick answers. "Tim will get the best training from the both of you though."

"Yeah." You roll your eyes. "Fine. Yeah, I'll help and I won't tell Jason. Just when and where?"

"Tomorrow, I'll text you the rest." Dick answers. "Thank you."

"Mhm." You hum.

Dick feels bad for you and Jason. You've both been through a lot individually and together. It's two of the things that brought you together in the first place. You two always seemed to make each other happy and you actually seemed really good for each other. Dick knows first hand it's not easy and it is always complicated. It's always going to be painful trying to work out the romance department while being a vigilante. It's why it didn't work with him and Barbara. It's why it didn't work with him and Dawn. It's not easy. But, he feels bad for you both. It feels like you weren't given a chance.

"Talk to him." Dick states carefully.

You groan as you look to the sky. "You're not giving me a fucking choice are you, Dickolas?"

"You know what I mean." Dick says right back.

While you appreciate the sentiment, you are not taking dating advice from Dick Grayson. As far as you know, Dick's been in love with Kory for almost a year, at least and he has not said a single word to her about it. At least you told Jason. The way you see it, Dick should be taking dating advice from you.

"You tell Kory how you feel about her and I'll have a conversation with Jason." You offer in a higher-pitched voice, offering a bit of bite in your words.

"Okay no—"

"Yes." You quip back. "Don't give me advice if you're not going to take the same advice." You jump to the last rooftop. "She feels the same way anyway." You mutter softly.

"Alright, thank you." Dick cuts you off. "Talk to him. Tim won't know you're helping him."

"Gathered. Just let me know. I know to keep my mouth shut. I got it." You assure him.

"Thank you."

"You owe me." You laugh softly on the other end before ending the call.

After the run-in earlier tonight, you weren't sure when you'd want to see Jason again. At first, you thought about it all the time. Maybe you'd run into each other just as you did earlier and he'd make some quip about you being in his territory and you'd make fun of him for needing your help. Something would click and you'd be back to normal and it would feel good. The void in your chest will fill again and it would be normal. But that's not what happened because more time passed and you think about how maybe he's mad at you. He should be mad at you still. The more time that passed, the more you convinced yourself it was what you deserved. So, you keep your distance on purpose from him. Maybe that's your penance.

But now, you have to face him.

So, you head back to the apartment to mentally prepare. Jason Todd is still the Jason you always loved and you have to act like you're fine. You have to act like it is not eating you away inside to think about him. Everything has been going okay and you're finding yourself in this city. You think your feet are starting to land on solid ground for once. But, the thought of seeing Jason makes you feel like the earth is being pulled from under your feet. It's the one thing you have deliberately not dealt with. So, you know you have to act like it's all normal. If you're going to be able to do this with him, it has to feel normal. You have to feel normal otherwise it'll be sad and awkward and painful. Maybe he won't want your help anyway.

In no way did you expect your first time speaking to Jason again would be because Dick asked for help. But, it looks like that's exactly what's going to happen. And maybe your bones are starting to vibrate with a mixture of excitement and nervousness. You might feel guilty and you might be worried but you miss seeing him. You miss the way his voice sounds. You miss him more than words could ever describe.

Maybe you hope he misses you, too even if you don't deserve it.

Maybe as the night goes on and you get ready for bed and tell Molly about it, maybe you can't wait to see him.

next chapter

series masterlist | masterlist | tag list

Tag List: @fairyofshampoo // @italiana-20 // @jasontoddsmentaldisorders // @purplerose291 // @lovelessamai  // @makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss  // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out // @velvetskies // @lilylovelyxo // @cryinghotmesss // @yesimwriting // @vivian-555 // @stainedstardom // @baebeepeach // @legend-o-zelda // @harleycao // @somehow-lovable-trash  // @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx // @deyja-the-duck // @jasontoddslover //  @captainmarvels-blog // @totallynotkaibiased // @scarlovesyou // @whydoyoucare866 // @littlemeowmeow1000 // @ginger24880 // @urmomsgayforme5 // @septixtrash // @kplatzman // @killxz // @lovefks // @laurelthesimp // @strawberryforks // @mxtokko // @kolpvii

[freedomfireflies]

iFall For Harry

Part Two to this request!

Summary: Turns out, the stranger in your phone is kind of funny...

...and kind of sexy, too.

Oh, my god. 

Harry, did you hear the news?

It takes exactly three and a half minutes for those familiar little bubbles to pop up.

Well hello to you, too. 

No, what happened?

You struggle to contain a rather giddy grin as you begin to type, A cheese factory exploded in France!

Wait, really? Shit, what happened?

I don’t know. But all that was left was…de brie.

Exactly sixty seconds pass before he begins to type.

Fuck.

I think I just snorted. 

That was…goddammit that was good.

You don’t even know what he looks like, but you chuckle at the idea of him laughing so hard he can’t help but snort.

Thank you, thank you. 

Took me two weeks to come up with that.

I’m impressed. 

Little offended, too.

Oh? Your heart sinks.

Yeah. 

Kept me on the edge of my seat for two fucking weeks wondering if I’d hear from you again.

Shit. 

You smirk to yourself as you flop down onto your sofa and think through a response.

Hey, it takes two to tango, pal. You could have texted me, too.

The bubbles make your heart pound.

Alright, that’s fair. 

In my defense, I didn’t have any more cheese puns.

Oh, is that all this is, then? 

You just use me for dad jokes?

Psh, nooooooo…

Then, another text.

Although, the jokes do make my days…cheddar.

 You laugh a little louder, suddenly very aware of the flush in your face over some stranger in your phone. 

No, wait. How do I erase a text?

I hated that. 

Seriously, how do I make it go away? 

My failure is staring me in the face, and I hate it.

You giggle under your breath.

Easy, Grandpa. 

Relax, just press down until the options pop up.

The conversation goes quiet for a brief moment before you watch his previous text vanish from the screen with a dramatic, poof!

Then, he begins typing again.

Hold on… 

Did you just call me Grandpa?

…psh, noooooooo

Oh, so that’s how it is?

That’s how it is.

Wow, and we had such a nice thing going, too.

To be fair, you never told me your age, and you don’t even know how to delete a text. 

What am I supposed to think?

First of all: rude. 

Respect your elders.

Second of all: this deleting shit is NEW, okay, and I just updated my phone, like…a week ago, so I never learned. 

Uh-huh. 

No, yeah, whatever you say, Grandps.

He responds with the emoji that’s rolling its eyes.

You smirk.

For your information, I’m 29.

Okay, which is a cool, hip, fun, and very fresh age.

Yes, I believe that’s the slogan for the retirement home, too. 

“We’re cool, we’re slick, and we might break a hip.”

There’s a longer pause between your text and his response. You hope it’s because he’s laughing. It’s not your best work, but you think it’s funny.

And then, you get the notification.

Dammit, that place sounds so much cooler than the retirement home I’m in now. 

Send me the address? I’ll wheel myself over.

You got it, Old Man. Will you need any help crossing the street?

How thoughtful of you. Yeah, that’d be great, and then you can finally earn your Girl Scout badge.

Oh, my God. How did you know it was the last one I needed?

Cause I’m old. And therefore wise.

Oh, right, right. No, that checks out.

Yeah. 

You lean back, forcing your eyes away from your phone to finally get a moment of reprieve from the excessive smiling. Why is this so fun?

I guess 29 isn’t so bad. Just…three years older than me.

Ah, another piece to the Cheese Girl puzzle. 

You’re 26.

Indeed.

26 was fun. 

I liked 26.

Yeah, it’s not too bad so far.

Just wait until your bones start to creak whenever you get out of bed.

I’ll keep a can of oil on my nightstand.

You grimace to yourself. Your worst joke to date, and you just hope you haven’t blown it.

Probably smart. 

My preferred method is lube, but…

Whatever works.

Your eyes widen.

Oh?

Yeah.

 My bones might creak but at least I can still fuck.

Well…shit.

You readjust your position on the sofa, desperately working to find a cool and relaxed and equally mysterious reply.

…so, no pressure.

Just be careful with all that lube. 

Wouldn’t want you to slip and fall.

Hope you’ve got Life Alert on speed dial.

Oh, I absolutely do. They love me over there.

You smirk to yourself, fighting yet another laugh. 

Yeah? Thank God.

Boy, I bet you’re a real stud with the ladies, huh?

Damn fucking right. 

This grandpa has moves.

I bet. Yeah, women love a man that squeaks when he thrusts.

They do, actually. I happen to squeak quite sensually.

Is that right?

It is.

Damn.

Might need to hear that for myself someday.

It was bold. Perhaps a little daring, and you don’t give yourself a chance to overthink it before turning your phone off and tossing it onto the other side of the sofa.

You give it five minutes before checking to see if he’s replied.

Thankfully, you have two notifications, delivered 3 minutes ago.

Yeah?

So what’s stopping you?

What is stopping you?

Probably a number of things, but instead of pointing out that he’s a complete stranger and could very well be a catfish (or even worse…that he might not even find you attractive) you decide to go with another joke.

All these Girl Scout cookies I gotta sell :/

Shit.

Yeah.

What if I bought a hundred boxes?

Then you’d have to hand deliver them to my door, right?

Your eyes roll playfully as you sigh.

That IS the Girl Scout policy, yes.

We pride ourselves on good service.

Fantastic, then I’ll take 100 boxes in the flavor of you.

Your lashes flutter as you reread the text, over, and over, and over. But before you can spiral…he’s sending another.

…shit, that was meant to be smooth.

Get it, cause…like, you know, get a taste of YOU. Like…if you were a cookie. 

Cause…I wanna taste you…

Explaining it makes it worse, doesn’t it?

 It should make it worse, but for some reason…he’s funny? And charming? And making your thighs squeeze together—

I think that can be arranged, yeah.

I’ll package them up nice and pretty, just for you.

Equally as cheesy, but apparently…cheese is where you both shine.

You hope he’s at least somewhat amused, and when he finally responds, your stomach flips.

This conversation is bad for my health.

Yeah?

Why’s that?

Because I’m in a meeting and I’m about to have a heart attack.

…why are you about to have a heart attack?

Oh, right. I forgot that happens at your old age.

Ha.

Funny.

Good thing you have Life Alert on speed dial.

Yeah, I don’t think Life Alert is gonna be able to help.

No? Why not?

Cause only one thing can save me now.

Cookies.

Your cookies.

To be exact.

See? Cheesy.

Wow, I was almost turned on and then…

Nope, there it goes.

Oh, is that what we’re doing? We’re trying to turn each other on?

Well, why didn’t you SAY so?

Hold on, I’ve got a few good ones.

Oh god.

Alright, here we go.

So…

What are you wearing?

…really? That’s all you’ve got?

Work with me please.

My gosh.

Clothes.

I have clothes on.

Yeah?

That’s a shame.

Two minutes go by without him adding anything else, and you can’t help but laugh when you realize that’s all he’s got.

Wowwwwww…

No, that was so good. I’m…holy shit, you just took my breath away. I’m so turned on right now.

I mean, my panties just FLEW across the room!

You’re THAT good!

Okay, very funny. 

I wasn’t done.

No, really. You gotta warn a girl before you just completely rock her world like that.

Honestly, I feel a little faint.

Where did you learn such a masterful technique? Really, you should teach a class on sexting, cause that was just…phew.

Listen, I was just trying to take it easy on you.

You know, ease you into my seduction before I gave it to you good and hard.

The last bit of his sentence has you stumbling over a gasp, but you simply clear your throat and work to find a response.

You have two options:

Either you tease him a bit more…

…or you ramp up the tension.

Well, by all means, Harry…

Give it to me good.

And hard.

He doesn’t respond for quite some time to this. And while you’d like to tell yourself that it’s because he’s just so turned on by your response…

…it’s more likely that you definitely fucked up and he wants nothing more to do with you.

But then…your phone dings.

Is that what you want then, hm?

Want it rough?

Shit, shit, shit.

Yeah.

If you think you can keep up.

Trust me, sweetheart, that won’t be a problem.

If you want it rough, I’m more than happy to oblige.

Is that why you texted me today?

Needed my help?

Truth be told, you don’t know why you texted him today, but you certainly aren’t upset with how things are going.

Me? Needing YOUR help?

Cute, but I think my fingers and I can manage just fine.

His response comes so fast, your head spins:

…fuck.

You smile.

Shit, okay now this conversation is REALLY bad for my health.

I might keel over right here in this meeting.

My death is on your hands, Cheese Girl.

Worth it.

You watch the bubbles float onto your screen for a good thirty seconds before they disappear.

Then, they appear again…just to dissipate before you can get your hopes up.

Finally—finally…a text.

Okay, listen, you don’t know me.

And I don’t know you.

I get that.

I’m a stranger, you’re a stranger.

But…

And hear me out…

What would you say to a phone call?

Your pulse stutters as you stare at his proposition, but he’s already sending his next text before you can decide if you’re really that stupid or not.

I know that’s asking a lot, but…

If you promise that you aren’t a 90-year-old man, and I promise I’m not some kid playing video games in his mom’s basement…

We could at least…have a real conversation.

And make sure that we really are who we say we are, you know?

And I could be assured that I didn’t just get a fucking boner in the middle of a busy boardroom cause of some perverted, internet creep that makes cheese jokes.

You hesitate.

Despite yourself, you are intrigued by the idea.

Worst-case scenario if he is some loser…you can just hang up and block his number.

And if he’s not…and he’s half as hot as you’re starting to hope he is…

You swallow.

Thickly.

I am not some perverted, internet creep that makes cheese jokes.

I’m just a regular creep that makes cheese jokes.

Promise.

And…yeah. 

I would be okay with a phone call.

As long as you do in fact promise I won’t regret it and that it won’t result in nightmares that haunt me for the rest of my life.

Ah, well…

Can’t say much for the regret…

But I do promise that I will try very hard not to give you nightmares.

God, are you really doing this?

Are you really doing this?

Alright, then…

Oh, so you’re doing it. You’re really that dumb. You really just let a complete stranger convince you to call him, even though he could be a serial killer, or a psycho, or—

Your phone rings.

You see his name pop up in large print as the cellphone just about flies out of your hand.

Scrambling to keep it steady, you lurch forward and collect a deep breath.

You can do this.

You can do this.

You’ll give him thirty seconds. And if he seems creepy…you’ll hang up, and you’ll move on.

And you’ll never get random boys in bars numbers again.

You press your thumb into the button on your screen and slide it to the right.

Here goes nothing.

“…hello?”

~ iFall for Harry pt. 3 (the third part to this!)

~ Full iFall for Harry Masterlist

~ More Harry Blurbs

~ Full Masterlist

Tag List:

@tinyhrry @supersanelyromantic @lomlhstyles

[harlowsbby]

Come See Me

“I don’t know if you love me anymore, I don’t know if you love me like before.” - Rod Wave.

You sighed as you looked down at your phone seeing the text you sent to Jack over an hour ago was still very much left on delivered.

Jack 💘

- Just call me when you’re close and I’ll come out.

The two of you were meant to go out and have dinner together and just end the night together because as of lately all he’s been doing is going out and obviously working which you didn’t have a issue with but at the same time you did.

You missed him dearly but whenever you told him that you wanted to spend more time with him it always somehow ended up in an argument.

He always saw it as you being a bit selfish although he’d never tell you that.

You sighed as you leaned back into the couch and thought back to previous arguments with Jack.

You hated the way you had the beg the man that you loved to spend time with you. It made you overthink your entire relationship and whether or not he even loved you the same anymore.

Flashback.

“Are we seriously going over this again? I thought we talked about this a few nights ago Y/N.” Jack clenched his jaw trying his best not to let his anger get the best of him.

The tension in the air was very thick. Both of you feeding off of each other’s energy and anger.

“Well I’m not fully over it and I’d rather talk things out with you then get all upset and go to bed mad at each-other.”

You argued back and crossed your arms over your chest. “So let’s talk, go ahead you start because I don’t even know what you’re upset about now.”

Jack stated and sat down on the couch and looked up at you.

By the irritated expression on his face you could tell this was the last thing he wanted to deal with tonight, but he knew you weren’t going to sleep till you spoke your mind.

“Can you at least act like you care? Or is caring above you as well.” You tried mumbling under your breath but Jack heard you loud and clear.

“What are you on about? Of course I care.” He tried defending himself.

“Oh do you?” You were only shocked. “Because as of lately it seems like you don’t care about me or our relationship at all.”

Jack’s eyebrows scrunched up in confusion as his lips formed into a frown. “What do you mean?” You rolled your eyes and huffed.

“You’re kidding me right? You’re always out in the studio, out with friends late at night and whenever you do make it home I’m always asleep or stuck at work myself!!”

You yelled at him and watched as his face softened but soon harden.

“You’re serious? I can’t go out and have alone time by myself anymore. I’m meant to be inside with you 24/7? Y/N.” You rolled your eyes.

“That’s not what I’m saying Jack I just want you here with me sometimes. I wanna wake up in the mornings with my boyfriend next to me and spend time with you. I never see you anymore!!” You spat at him and watched as he stood up.

The two of you were now somewhat at eye level. His face was red in anger.

“I’m a rapper Y/N, I have fans to please and a label that needs me. I’m actually somebody.” That one stung and it honestly took you off guard.

You shook your head at him and chuckled darkly. “You don’t get it but maybe I’m the one that doesn’t get it considering you’re a celebrity right? You’re actually someone right?” He sighed.

“I didn’t mean it like that baby.” He tried reaching out for you only for you to take a step back.

“I think it’s best you sleep downstairs tonight.” He smacked his lips. “Come on baby I didn’t mean it like that.” You shook your head at him.

“It’s fine really Jack.” You lied and went to bed that night with a heavy heart.

Flashback over

Ever since that day Jack has been trying his best to make things right between the two of you. The keyword in the sentence is the word ‘trying’.

You looked down at your phone seeing you had gotten a notification that Urban posted onto his story via Instagram.

You opened up the app and clicked on his story you smiled seeing he was with a bunch of his friends which you assumed were at the newest karaoke bar that opened up down the street.

You were about to exit out the app and call up Jack when you noticed a familiar head of curls in the video. You brought the phone closer to your face and squinted your eyes a bit.

“This isn’t gonna do much justice.” You sighed and exited out Urban’s story, maybe you were paranoid there was no way Jack was going to stood you up. He wanted to make this relationship work right? He wanted the two of you to live happily ever after right?

Your phone lit up again and you saw Urban posted yet another story to his page. You were gonna let it go and not even worry about it but something was telling you to look.

“Fuck it.” You said and quickly went to Instagram and clicked on the story but immediately regretted it.

In the video there was Jack clear as day in the background talking to some blonde haired chick. Obviously it wasn’t Urban’s intentions to film Jack he just so happened to be in the background.

Urban was meant to be recording Ace who was trying his hardest to hit the high notes in a Whitney Huston song but was failing miserably.

In the background near the tv stood Jack and the mystery women.

You could see him handing her back a phone which you assumed was her phone. Which made you automatically assume he must’ve given her his number.

You wanted to message him and to go down there and go off but honestly you had no more energy in you to keep this relationship going.

“I guess this was what celebrities do huh?” You whispered to yourself and shook your head. All you could do was grab your car keys and purse and leave. You weren’t about to stick around and be played with.

(Just a little angst inspired by Rod Wave’s song Come See Me, it isn’t the best but enjoy it 😭💘)

[hirayaaraw]

Dwindling Faith and Unspoken Confession

Tags: friends to lovers; marriage for convenience / fake marriage; pining

Previous

Your mom already left. She rode the bus scheduled to leave in the afternoon after she gave you an earful sermon about marriage. But you decided to go to the city river and contemplate the things she said.

You hate the disappointing look she had in her eyes. Your life revolved around her approval and making her smile. Ever since her divorce with your Dad, your 8 years old mind made it a goal to make her happy and to not make your sister feel the abscence of a father figure. Despite all of the efforts, you never once felt you are enough. The one time you think she genuinely smile was during your graduation and her hugged validated your whole being.

"Getting married without letting me know. This is not you. Do you even understand the whole deal of being married?" After a long silence, these are her words to you. She is right. It's not a norm for you to jump on risky decision. You are calculative. You want assurance and safety net if all else fail. "It may be fun right now but years later? Where will you be? Divorced like me? Your dad and I dated each other for 3 years before getting married but look what happened. You and Wonwoo..."

She looked at you and you know she is trying to find the right words. And you know how her words always bite.

"Wonwoo is a nice kid but this is so abrupt. It's like you agreed without thinking. Men changes as they age. You'll never know when you are done being the apple of their eyes and next thing you knew he is now meeting a younger and more beautiful woman than you."

"Mom..." Your throat starts to feel constricted.

"Next thing you knew he will be serving you a divorce paper and you will realize your life revolved around him but to him you are just something he can dispose easily."

"That's you and dad, Mom. That's your life, not mine." You said so softly. You can feel the heaviness of your head. She shrugged what you said then gave you the dishes she cooked for you.

You took a deep breathe. You know that your life path is different than hers but your mind is tricking you to dive in this pool of anxiety. Your parents were in love but still this happened. On the other hand, you are just the only one in love in this marriage. You call it a wishfull thinking but you hope the friendship you have with him will be enough.

The raging thoughts ended when a message notification popped out from your phone. It's Wonwoo.

Wonwoo: Done meeting with Mom. :) Are you still with your Mom?

You: No. She already went home.

Wonwoo: Already? That's new.

Wonwoo: Are you already home?

You: I'm here at the cafe in riverbanks. I'll go home in a bit.

Wonwoo: Okay. I'll go there. Let's go home together.

It took 30 minutes for Wonwoo to reach you. When he saw you, he immediately notice your dark aura. He knew something went wrong. He took all the paper bags in his right hand. Wonwoo took your hand with his free hand like it belongs there. You felt safe and secured whenever he is around.

The sun is setting and rays of sunshine falling against his face. You held his hand tighter and enjoyed the moment. Trying to imprint it on your mind. Telling yourself that if all else fail, you will still be grateful you were given a chance to marry the love of your life.

Even in the drive on your way home which is just 10 minutes away from his place, he held your hand in every chance he gets. Upon arriving at home, you both organize the dishes in the ref.

"How did it went?" You asked him after keeping all the dishes. Wonwoo took out a tub of coffee ice cream and two spoons then pulled you to seat at the sofa.

"She's sad." Your shoulders fell down upon hearing it. You felt like everyone is against this. Wonwoo noticed it so he pinched your nose. "She is sad we did not invite her but Mom is so happy that it is you who I married."

Happy is an understatement. Wonwoo's mom is so excited knowing that you are her son's end game. She has been rooting for you and thought that Wonwoo has no chance on you.

"She said I made a good choice." Wonwoo nudged you lightly. He took a spoonful of ice cream and feed you. "When did I make a wrong choice?"

You laughed at his arrogant statement. Good choice. Funny how your mom criticize your decision to marry him but his mom praised this choice. You can't blame her. She has a different background and history than his mom.

"Congratulations for formally ending the endless blinddates." You shove a spoonful of ice cream to his mouth. Wonwoo grimaced at the cold and swallowed it while giving you a death stare. Without wiping his mouth, he gave you a kiss on your cheeks.

"Thank you for marrying me, wife." He grinned upon seeing the ice cream marks on your cheek.

"You are disgusting!" You took a tissue and wipe it away but giggled.

And there it is again, Wonwoo falling all over again. Head over heels. For some people falling in love makes everything goes slowmo but for him, it makes everything fast forward. He can see you laughing with him toothless and grey hair. Wrinkled skin and all but still loving you.

Wonwoo reached for your face to wipe the ice cream that were not removed. "How was it with your mom?"

You just smiled at him. Wonwoo's knows that smile. The smile that did not crinkle your eyes nor showed your dimples. It did not go well.

"She is worried." To put it in simpler terms. You don't know how to explain it to him that your mom went on assuming that he will cheat on you and leave you like an old rug. "Mom is just scared that I will walk on her path too."

Wonwoo knows your family story. Too well that he actually have a personal grudge on your dad. You remember how he went with you when your dad asked to meet you after 2 decades. He sat on a different table but made sure you can see him. You thought he is making ammends, but the truth your Dad wants to ask for a financial help upon hearing you graduated from college and got a great job in the city.

"Her concern is valid." Wonwoo said then took your hand and caress it gently. "Do you want me to talk with her?"

"She is still has clouds on her head right now. Not the best time." No words will come out from her nicely. Wonwoo nodded respecting your request. You just observed him eat with frown on his eyebrows and you know he is thinking how to make you feel okay.

"Can you promise me?" Wonwoo look at you with spoon on his mouth. You know this is ridiculous but you just want to say it to calm your heart. "If one day you find the one who made you fall in love, can you give me like heads up that you will divorce me and not surprised me with a divorce paper on the table?"

You laughed to make it light hearted, but Wonwoo's frown grew deeper. Suddenly, you feel scared. It is like you stepped on a landmine.

"We are not talking about this." Wonwoo said firmly. He dig the spoon on the ice cream tub then look straight at you.

"It's just a possibility, Won."

"And I don't like it. One week into marriage and we are talking about divorce." He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "It's bad luck."

"Are you serious? Since when did you became superstitious?" You laughed at him who is still frowning.

"I'm serious." You reach his cheeks and gently tap it. You can't help but smile upon noticing his pout. "I'm stucked with you until the end of my life. But of course, if you want me to leave..."

"Okay fine. We won't talk about it anymore." You cupped his cheeks. He looks adorable sulking right now. You giggled at how cute he looks right now.

Years since college but he can still make your heart flutter. You studied his face and took your time gazing on him without realizing that Wonwoo is staring at you with love. When you noticed his stares, you can feel him slowly crossing the distance between you.

You can feel the whole world moves in slow motion. You can feel your heart beat accelerating. When his lips found yours, your fears flew out of the window. Your hand encircled on his neck as he deepened the kiss.

This is different from the first kiss you shared with out of curiosity. This not like the kiss you shared with because both of you are drunk. This kiss blurs all the worry and fears you have.

Wonwoo wrap his arm around your waist and pull you on to his lap. You pulled away from him to breathe. You removed his eyeglasses slowly before lowering your face to capture his lips.

If this is greed, you are willing to sin because you want more of him. All the times you thought that you can settle for loving him from afar but now all you want is every inch of him.

And then one thing lead to another. Every corner of his apartment were filled by whispers of his and your name. Surrendering to each other because you both know that tomorrow will come and you still both have each other.

[seenoversundown]

Amongst The Stars: Chapter Ten

Josh x Quinn (Nonbinary OC) Warnings: The Kiss, Tears, Alcohol Consumption, Purple Nurples, These guys pulling their heads out of their asses (kind of), Josh is kind of hot???, Relationship discussions Word Count: 4.5k Summary: Josh has always loved love,  and he's finally found it. Buuuut, he can't exactly tell anyone. Join him as he navigates the ins and outs of his sweet, secret romance. Author's Note: *Kicks a door down* WE'RE BACK BABY! Sorry for falling off the face of the earth with Josh. This chapter is soooooo important to the overall story, and I needed to do some rewrites to make it perfect. Also, as a consolation for the wait… we have Willa and Sam in this chapter. Enjoy 😘. 

“Maybe I want your love forever. Is that so bad to say? Maybe we’re meant to be together if God had his way. And if you ask why I’ve stayed, and I’ll stay for all I know, It’s ‘cause the stars said so." “The Stars” - Chelsea Cutler

I can’t believe I shoved him. For the last 72 hours, that moment has played in my head on a constant loop, and each replay is worse than the previous. It’s like an out-of-body experience. Whenever I replay the memory, I see Josh’s look of hopeful shock when he pulled back from the kiss as if he couldn’t believe he’d drummed up the courage to do it. I see my hand press into the center of his chest, and then my arm extends, shoving him back from the hug I had originally wrapped him in. The hug where I turned it into a kiss. I see the sheer rage on my face as I ask him, “Is this the reason you wanted to help me? You found out I was single, and you wanted to make a move?”

I see Josh floundering, trying to explain himself as I tell him to leave my house. 

Every time I think about it, my heart breaks a little bit more. The worst part is Josh is still respecting my wishes. I told him not to contact me, and he hasn’t. But I only want to see his name pop up in my notifications. I’ve had a lot of time to think over the last several days, and I’ve concluded that my reaction was borne from confusion. My feelings for Josh are scary. They’re big, and they don’t make sense, but I’ve been deluding myself by denying them. Craig, the world’s most unobservant man, could see them, but I couldn't. I wasn’t able to see it until it was too late, and I’d already ruined my chance before I even knew that I wanted it.  

I’m startled by a knock at my door. 

“Quincyyyyyyy,” Willa whispers from behind the door, “Can I come in?” 

I pull one of my pillows over my face to hide that I’m on the verge of tears before I shout back, “Yeah, it’s unlocked.”

“You’ve been in here for days, babes,” Willa grabs the pillow and tries to pull it away from me, but I hug it tighter. “Tell me what’s wrong.” 

“‘M just a little sad. S’no big deal.”

“I can see that,” She tugs on my arm, trying to get me to sit up, “and it seems like it might be a big deal.”

I finally sit up and look her in the eyes. She gives me a sympathetic smile when she clocks my red-ringed eyes.

“I promise it’s fine,” I shrug, adjusting the pillows behind me as I lean against the headboard. 

“You are three seconds away from crying. It’s not fine,” Willa quickly sits down in the space I just vacated by sitting up, “But you’re allowed to be not fine. You just need to talk to someone, preferably me, about it.”

My lower lip starts to wobble, a telltale sign that tears are coming, and Willa wraps me up in her arms. 

“Wilson, I think I messed up big,” My voice is pathetically tight. 

“Did something happen when you went to get your stuff from Greg?” She’s rubbing gentle circles along my back. 

“Something like that,” I trail off, offering no additional context. 

“I knew I should have taken off,” she starts, “I’ll kill him if I ever see him again. Did Josh at least stand up for you?” 

At the mention of Josh, my tears start falling freely. I nuzzle a little closer against Willa.

“Wait - did Josh do something?” 

I shake my head because how am I supposed to tell my best friend that I am insane and deeply infatuated with a man I’ve known for weeks? How can I tell her I ruined everything because I couldn’t dissect my feelings well enough to understand them? 

“How many men will I have to kill?” Willa whispers more to herself than me, and it causes me to snort out a snotty laugh. 

“Please, no murder charges, Willy. I can’t bail you out on a student teacher’s salary.”

“Oooh, There they are! Cracking jokes and everything,” She chuckles, “If photography doesn’t pan out, I may go into therapy.” 

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, there.”

“Hey, seriously. I can tell you’re not ready to talk about whatever happened. But please know that I’m here whenever you are,” She pulls me in for one more bear hug, “And for the love of god, please take a shower, you greasy little gremlin.”

I roll my eyes but can’t stop another laugh from escaping me as I get out of bed and walk over to my dresser, pulling out a fresh pair of joggers and a faded band tee. 

“I’m showering because I want to, not because you told me to, by the way,” I shake my fistful of clothes in Willa’s direction. 

“Mhm, I’m sure!” 

I feel much more like myself after my shower, though I’d never tell Willa that. She’s already left the apartment by the time I’m out of the bathroom, so I begin plotting. I’ve learned a lot about Josh over the time we’ve been talking. He likes chocolate, cheese, and wine. So, I dig through mine and Willa’s pantry, searching for the makings for a picnic. There are a few things that I need to go to the store for, namely wine, cheese, and salami.  So, as I’m walking to the store, I pull out my phone and click into my messages from Josh. 

Me: Hey, can we talk?

His response is immediate as if he’s been waiting to hear from me

Starlight✨: Please Me: Today? Starlight✨: Can we meet in person if you’re comfortable?

My heart melts; he is still putting my comfort above all else.

Me: Sure, where? Starlight✨: The bar? I can send you a pin Me: That works! 

Josh sends me a pin of his location, and I immediately put it in my Maps app. It’s about a 15-minute walk from my apartment, so I let him know that he can expect me within an hour and a half. 

I grab everything needed for my impromptu charcuterie board and quickly head back to my apartment to piece it together. I try to stay pretty grounded while cutting the salami and cheese into thin slices and adding them to Tupperware containers. Just because Josh responded doesn't mean he’s forgiven you. It doesn’t mean you have a chance. This becomes my mantra as I’m finishing up. I’m not trying to make myself feel bad; I’m simply trying to remain realistic. And the truth of the matter is, it would be completely understandable if Josh never forgave me. But it is a good sign that he texted back so quickly. 

I finish slicing and add the containers of meats and cheeses, a pack of crackers, some chocolates, and the bottle of wine to a cooler I’d found sitting on the pantry floor. I sling the cooler over my shoulder and pull my phone out to text Josh, letting him know I’m on my way, and I head out into the world. 

My body is full of nervous energy as I walk over to Caravel Tavern. I consider that I may meet his brother today, which makes me sweat. I’m barely even in his life; I don’t need to meet his family yet. That’s ridiculous. But, thinking of his brother and the bar does help to take my mind off of the fact that the outcome of today’s adventure could make my life better or it could break my heart. So, with that knowledge in mind, I turn down the cobblestone street the bar sits on and wipe my sweaty hands on my pants as I stare at it. I hype myself up again. You can do this, Quinn. He’s just a boy, and I finish my trek up to the front door. 

I don’t see any signs of life; the “Open” light is shut off from the night before, no cars in the front parking lot, no music playing behind the door. The uneasy feeling grows in my chest. Why would Josh tell me to meet him at an empty bar? Surely, he isn’t playing a prank on me… though I wouldn’t blame him if he were. Setting those feelings aside, I decided to try the door, and to my surprise, it opened, and a bell jingled to signal my arrival. 

I step over the threshold and take in my surroundings. The walls are covered in various pieces of art, a refurbished piano sits in one corner, and a vintage jukebox sits against the wall next to a hallway that I assume leads to bathrooms. I lock eyes on a cardboard cut out of Young Bob Seger that seems entirely out of place, and I laugh. This place just screams Josh, I think to myself, remembering the organized chaos of his bedroom that I caught glimpses of over FaceTime. But, after looking around, I can see there are hints of others in here as well—a painting of The Queen Anne’s Revenge hanging on the wall and other pirate-themed items. Vintage jazz posters are thrown in every now and again, and framed ticket stubs from various events that happened over the years. 

God, this place is so cute.

My snooping is interrupted by footsteps coming down the hallway beside the jukebox. 

My heart clenches as I meet Josh’s eyes for the first time since The Incident. 

He raises one arm in a half-hearted wave and flashes me a sheepish grin.

“Well, fancy seeing you here.”

“Sorry to intrude,” I giggle, “but some dude asked me to meet him here?”

Josh cracks a full-fledged grin, and butterflies erupt in my belly.

Maybe this won’t be so bad. 

“Speaking of, do you care if we take this somewhere a little quieter? My brother will be here,” he glances up at the ornate clock behind the bar, “literally any second. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but he’s been on an absolute warpath for days. Something about some ‘crazy,’ his words, woman he met.” 

“No, I fully understand. My roommate is dealing with something similar, and she’s been an absolute terror about it.”

“Wonder if the situations are related,” Josh jokes before leading me to a stairwell at the back of the bar. 

I hear the bell on the door chime, and Josh lets out a dramatic sigh, rubbing his hand over his face. 

“Hang out here while I deal with my brother?” 

I nod, then watch as he walks back the way he came. 

I pull out my phone and mindlessly scroll through apps while I listen to the vague chatter of Josh’s brother. 

I'm so curious. I just have to see how the nice guy I talked to on FaceTime could switch to warpath mode.

“SHE - SHE FREAKIN POKED ME AGAIN, MAN.”

Is he really that pressed about being poked? And I have to suppress a chuckle at the thought of some woman jabbing her fingers at this guy to teach him a lesson.

“And I’m sure you deserved it,” Josh responds thoughtfully. 

“DESERVED IT?! SHE’S INSANE!”

Oh yeah, buddy, you absolutely deserved it, I think, as Josh’s brother continues. 

“I’M STARTING TO BRUISE! LOOK AT THIS!”

“Hey, pull your shirt down,” Josh sighs, “Have some decorum, we’re in public.”

“That’s not very progressive of you, Josh. FREE THE NIPPLE!”

“I’ll free your nipple.”

A high-pitched squeal follows that statement. 

“Now, if you don’t mind, can you stop your incessant whining long enough to watch the bar until Jake gets back?” 

“Do I have a choice?”

“Nope,” Josh pops his P for emphasis. 

I see Josh round the corner with a soft smile on his face. 

“Sorry about that,” he starts, “Want to head up to the roof? We should have some privacy there for at least a little bit.”

I gesture for him to lead the way and can’t stop myself from asking, 

“I’ll free your nipple. How exactly does one do that?”

“It’s quite simple,” he says as he boots open the rooftop door, “Pinch and twist.”

We step out onto the roof, and I’m in awe at how beautiful it is up here. There’s a small sitting area with a loveseat that overlooks the street below. There are multiple strings of lights hung above our heads. Various potted plants are artfully scattered across the area. There’s even a small bistro table in one corner. 

As I’m taking in the area, Josh leads me to the loveseat and gestures for me to hand him my cooler, setting it on the ground beside him, before asking me to sit. 

“Quinn,” he runs one hand through his hair, “I have to be honest. I didn’t think I’d ever hear from you again. And the thought of that damn near broke my heart. I’m not asking for anything from you. I want-“

“Josh…” I try to cut him off, but he barrels on through

“I just want you to listen to me. I’m so sorry for acting out of line. You see, the thing with me is-“ 

“Josh.” I try again, more forcefully. 

“The thing is, when I’m in something, I am all in. And I know it’s weird, and it’s fast, but I am all in where you’re concerned. You can tell me never to talk to you again, and I’ll listen. But I had to tell you. This,” he gestures between us, “is real for me. And I-“ 

I get up from the couch and stand directly in front of him. 

“Josh, please stop talking,” I finally get out, as I grab the front of his plain white t-shirt and pull him closer. 

He slowly nods, his eyes flicking back and forth between the grip I have on his shirt and my lips. 

“I came here to do this,” I whisper before I close the distance between us and press my lips against his. 

It only lasts for a moment before I pull back. Josh makes a sound of protest before trying to pull me back in. 

I have to focus. I can’t get lost in this yet. 

“I have to say my piece, Josh,” I say pointedly, “this is real for me too. It’s been real for longer than I wanted to admit. My ex saw it, and it’s part of what led to our break up. He was able to piece it together before I was.” 

Josh sucks in a deep breath, staring deep into my eyes, searching for any hint of dishonesty. 

Content in whatever he found, he lets his breath go and nods for me to continue. 

“I reacted… poorly,” I wince, “when you kissed me because you scared me. This scares me. It’s absolutely terrifying that I feel things for you that I never felt for my ex—“ I pause to collect my thoughts, “I moved here with Craig, you know. I thought I cared enough about him to move across the United States with him… but what I felt for him isn’t even a drop in the bucket of the feelings you awoke in me. You have ingrained yourself within my soul in a matter of weeks. And that is terrifying.” 

He opens his mouth to respond, but I wave him off and continue my spiel. 

“This sounds fucking crazy, but after that first night we FaceTimed, I changed your name in my phone to Starlight. Because talking to you, getting to know you, made me realize I’d been living in a cloud-covered night. You dispelled those clouds and let a little starlight back into my life. And, I guess this is all to say that I hope you can forgive me. Because the last three days have been miserable, and I don’t want to lose you again.” 

Instead of responding, Josh pulls me into a crushing hug and holds me for what feels like an eternity, nuzzling his face against my neck. He eventually pulls back, gently cupping my face in both hands. I lean further into his grasp, closing my eyes and humming a contented sigh as he uses his thumbs to caress my skin for a moment before he begins peppering my face with tiny kisses, starting with my cheeks before moving to my nose, forehead, and even my eyelids. 

“I’ve come to care for you a great deal,” he presses a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth, “and I’m glad you feel the same.” 

He finally reconnects our lips, and my heart melts.

I wrap my arms around his neck and weave my fingers through the fluffy hair at the nape of his neck. I give his hair a tentative tug, and he rewards me with a soft gasp.

I’ll file that little bit of information away for future use… 

I use his gasp as an excuse to deepen the kiss, gently running my tongue along his lower lip, waiting for him to grant me access. And he does. Our tongues tangle together, and I get lost in the feel of Josh’s hands sliding down my sides and coming to rest at my hips. He grips my hips and forcefully pulls our centers closer, grinding his hardness into me, and I let out a little groan. 

I crack one eye open, searching for the loveseat behind us, and slowly begin walking Josh backward until his knees hit the soft fabric, and he sits down, bringing me down on top of him. As I readjust to straddle his lap, his hands find their way back to my hips. 

He gives one of my hips a little pinch, and I pull back, breathing heavily.

“Quinn,” he chuckles, “We have to stop.”

I let my lower lip come out in a pout, and he leans up and nips at it before continuing. 

“I would love nothing more than to keep going,” he shifts his hips to grind his hard length against me once more as if to emphasize just how much he does not want to stop, “But I think that with how fast our feelings are moving, we should take this side of our relationship little bit slower.”

I consider his words for a moment and know he’s, without a doubt, correct.

I grab the sides of his face and gently kiss the tip of his nose, “No, you’re absolutely right.” 

I attempt to dislodge myself from his lap, but he holds me still for one more moment. 

I look down at him, cocking one eyebrow in question, and watch as a wicked grin overtakes his face. 

“Plus, you know,” he presses his lips against my ear and whispers, “The first time I have you, it’ll be all to myself. No one else will be around to hear the little sounds I’m going to coax from your sweet mouth.”

“You can’t say things like that to me,” I nuzzle into his neck and sigh. 

He simply hums in response and lifts me off of his lap. 

Still catching my breath, I watch as he rubs his hands together and then gently pats his thighs. 

“I don’t know about you, my dear, but I’ve worked up a bit of an appetite,” he flashes me a cheeky smile. 

His ability to flip in and out of various personas will always amaze me. 

“I did bring a little picnic,” I tuck a stray bit of hair behind my ear, then glance down at my fingernails, “I was hopeful that this would go well and we’d get to share it.” 

He stands and not so subtly adjusts his pants before grabbing the cooler I brought and shooting a questioning glance my way. I nod and follow him to the little bistro table in the corner of the roof.  “You do know the way to a man’s heart,” Josh lets out a long sigh, patting his belly. 

“I think anyone can be won with a little bit of cheese and a good wine, regardless of gender,” I say through a fit of giggles, feeling a little loose from the now-empty bottle we’ve shared.

“Too true, Bug,” he snaps as if he’s figured out the answer to a riddle that only he was in on, “what a universally human experience.” 

“Bug?” I ask, stuck on the pet name. 

“Oh yes, that’s what I’ve been calling you in my head.”

I gesture for him to continue. 

“See, it started because I thought about how you’ve already wormed your way into my heart and mind. But I didn’t really assume a prospective partner would enjoy being called a worm. So… Bug.” 

“That is weirdly sweet,” I let out a small laugh as I leaned over the table to give him a quick peck. 

When I pull back, I see Josh intently staring over my shoulder, brow furrowed in concentration. 

I whip my head around to see a door I’d been too distracted to notice; the curtain covering the glass gently swayed like someone had just been peering out of it. 

“What’s that door go to?”

“That’s my apartment,” he says, brow furrowing deeper, “I’m curious who was just at the window. Because my brother should be working.” 

He shrugs it off and stands from the table, extending one hand to me. 

“Would you care to dance?” 

“There’s no music,” I respond questioningly. 

“Don’t need any. We’ll make our own.” 

I roll my eyes, he’s so cheesy, but accept his hand and allow him to lead me in a vague approximation of a waltz. 

As he twirls me around the rooftop, giggling every time he missteps, I think that I could get used to this. He’s so full of love and light, and he has such infectious positivity that it’s hard for me to believe I’ve gone nearly my whole life without being drawn into his orbit. 

I let out a laugh as he dips me, almost dropping me, and I think about how it just makes sense that we’ve found each other. And how it finally feels like all the pieces I never knew were missing are finally clicking into place. 

You know you can’t be with him publicly yet, a voice in the back of my mind says. I hate that I know the voice is right. I want to show him off. I want to bring him to Willa — to subject him to her judgment because I know he would pass every test with flying colors, and I know that Willa would love him the second he opened his mouth to introduce himself. But I can’t do that yet. 

“Josh,” I cut him off mid-dip. 

“Mmm, one second, I’m concentrating very hard on not dropping you,” he grins down at me before pulling me back up into his arms, “okay, proceed.” 

“We need to talk about what we are, what our expectations are,” I stare deep into his eyes, willing him to understand that this isn’t a bad thing, just a necessary evil. 

His smile drops for one single second before he understands. 

“Of course, Quinn. Communication is essential.”

And I’m so glad he feels that way. I’m not used to that type of thing in relationships. 

“But, before that,” he ponders, looking toward the setting sun, “would you like a blanket? It might get chilly if we’re out here much longer.” 

I nod and return to the loveseat, waiting for him to return. I run through the conversation in my head, thinking of how to word my request. I want Josh to know that being secretive is purely necessary. I can’t leave him feeling like this is what I want because it isn’t. I don't want to hide him away; he deserves to be in the sun. 

I’m pulled out of my thoughts by him plopping down next to me, a giant quilt under one arm and a new bottle of wine under the other. He unfurls the quilt and gently tucks both of us under it before pouring us each a fresh glass of wine.  He hands me the glass, sets the bottle on the ground beside us, and turns to face me, “Okay, whatcha got?” 

I suck in a deep breath and decide just to spit it out. 

“I want to be with you,” I start, seeing a smile light up Josh’s features, “But I think we need to keep this a little bit quiet for the time being.”

He casts his eyes toward his glass and thinks briefly before responding. 

“I can see why that may be necessary,” he says as he leans forward and grabs one of my hands, entwining our fingers, “The timing of this could be perceived as suspicious.” 

I use my thumb to trace light patterns against his palm, losing myself in the feel of his soft skin as I think of how to word my following statement. 

“Mmm, just a little suspicious. I don’t want to hide you because we know the timeline of our relationship. But others won’t necessarily be so quick to trust us.”

“You do have a point, Bug,” he replies quietly, turning his eyes to his wine. 

“So, would you be okay with being discreet for just a little while? Just long enough that I can introduce you to people without accusations hanging over our heads.” 

“I think,” He cuts his eyes back to mine, and I see a twinkle of mischief dancing in them, “sneaking around could be fun. I’d quite like to keep you just to myself for a while.” 

I sighed in relief as Josh leaned forward for a quick peck. 

“Thanks, partner,” I tip my imaginary cowboy hat, and Josh bursts out laughing, his tongue slightly poking out through his teeth. 

“Though, I must warn you,” he pulls a little note out of his pocket and hands it to me, “I do believe we were being spied on earlier.”

I open it up and see 

“Bit more wine?  (Love you, Bub)”

Scrawled in messy handwriting, I immediately knew that Josh’s brother must have taken a break and been at the door before our dance. 

“Don’t worry, Bug. I trust him with my life. Our secret will be safe.”

And for some reason, I know that Josh is right. 

ATS Masterpost | The Caravel Tavern Series | Masterlist

Reply or Fill out this form to be added to the taglist:Taglist:@gvfsstardust @myleftsock @imleavingyoufornewyork @mindastreamofcolours @dont-go-home-without-me @literal-dead-leaf @mackalah @writingcold @edgingthedarkness @takenbythemadness @i-love-gvf @threadofstars @earthgrlsreasy @peaceloveunitygvf @gretavanfan @jazzyfigz @musicspeaks @demonrat444 @josh-iamyour-mama @wrldabomination @imleavingyoufornewyork@gvf-luna @lilbitx @gvfstuddedmajesty

[osarina]

I JUST GOT AROUND TO READING I, CARRION AND UGH!!

“there’s a lecherous smile on Albatross’s face as he leans against the frame and looks at you, glasses hanging off the bridge of his nose. ‘Damn, if you weren’t the boss’s girl…’” awww stop it you’ll make me blush

THE SCENE W DAZAI FINDING US NOT READY YET “It’s not silly if it has you upset,” kisses on the nape of the neck and then kissing our ankles & buckling our heels >>>>>> “I’m sorry that I’m not a good enough man to do what’s right and let you go.” hey so what if i started violently sobbing. “but if fate brought us together, then far be it from me to deny the one thing in this world that has ever made me happy.” HEY SO WHAT IF I STARTED VIOLENTLY SOBBING.

“Still, he wants to gouge their eyes out.” if my man doesn’t want to gouge out people’s eyes just for looking at me, i don’t want him ‼️‼️

“My, Dazai, possessive, aren’t you?” “Very,” Dazai agrees idly. “Be sure to remember that.” bringing his hand up from your waist to cup your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip as he murmurs, “That’s my girl, always so smart.” blushing giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair

“Fyodor Dostoevsky. A pleasure, truly.” oh no. oh no no no no no. that’s not good.

one more thing, i noticed that you kinda like made up your own characters (which was super cool and really creative btw!!) could you explain how/why you chose the specific authors you did? and i’m assuming you got their group names from something they wrote, any reason you chose those works in particular? (these are the ones i’m talking about: Mishima Yukio of the Sun and Steel, Nabokov’s Pale Flame, Leo Tolstoy’s Three Deaths, Cao Xueqin of the Red Chamber, Kitazawa Michihiro of Fuji Electric)

ty for listening to my ramblings once again ily !!

TUMBLR USER PE4RL-DIVER UGHHHHHH I LOVE YOU WHENEVER I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS IM SO HEART EYES

albatross is truly her no1 fan in this fic and she adores him <3 dazai is so not unsubtly jealous of him whenever she talks to him. gets all side eyed and irritated and then has to hide it whenever she looks at him LOLLLLL meanwhile albatross is just pleased that dazai is no longer an emotionless brick wall with a quick trigger finger

WHEN I TELL U THAT SCENE WAS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE EVER i actually struggled so much writing it not because it was hard to write just because i was yearning so terrible for him LOLLLLL HAHAHAH

</33333 we all need our own beastzai truly life is so unfair he's so perfect

OMGGGGGGGG actually thats my favorite part of writing series/long one shots. i adore being able to build up new characters and organizations. usually i pull them just from some of my favorite authors/works (i cheated with the one electric company its actually just a real company because i got lazy) BUTTTTT mishima is obviously my go to just because there's lowkey already been reference to him and his works in the series but no mention of him, so he's my favorite to build and explore. and then i dont know why but i always have the russian underground divided by three (tolstoy, dostoevsky, nabokov) and usually in a constant territory struggle. of the two ive built up, nabokov is usually the one i use the most because ive hced that he worked with the previous boss pretty often before things went to shit. but i've actually built tolstoy's organization more than his - the three deaths is led by a triumvirate of tolstoy, gorky, and cheknov who were all contemporaries and had were associated with each other. and actually fun fact, i plan on doing a fic with a reader who takes the place of cheknov as one of the three deaths so we're going to see more from them. cao xueqin wrote one of the 4 great classical novels of chinese literature. my fyozai fic i've also built a new organization for - they're based in italy and are in constant conflict with the clocktower, but i don't wanna give anything away because u shall see when i finally post that

maybe one day ill do a whole little page for the organizations ive built & their references in my fics for u guys to look at if ur interested!!

[hellparkri]

At the shores of a mountain

Craig was resting by the window of his room, calmly observing the landscape that always greeted him when he woke up. He had no worries at that moment, nothing to do, all his household chores were completed, and he had no extra schoolwork. This gave Craig plenty of time to simply watch his peaceful town from the comfort of his room. The raven-haired boy looked at the mountains beside the sun for a while, creating an image as beautiful as it was tranquil. Craig loved taking photos of landscapes like this: simple, beautiful, calming. It was everything! Sometimes, when he looked at that natural mural that was the sunset in his town, Craig couldn't help but think of his partner: Thomas Lacey. That boy with blond hair and beige eyes was the most beautiful thing Craig's young eyes had ever seen. They had been a couple for a few years, and although Thomas suffered from a peculiar condition called Tourette's, which caused, among many things, tics, spasms, and sudden outbursts, this did not matter to Craig. He loved him with all his flaws and problems. And whenever Craig brought Thomas to his house, he didn't hesitate to show him some of the photos he had taken of landscapes like the one he was seeing right now.

The raven-haired boy started to get lost in his thoughts, imagining his entire life alongside that handsome boy, imagining them in those mountains: sitting with their children, having a meal while watching the sunset from the top of that mountain. Maybe his dreams often weren't realistic, but anyone would imagine a whole life with the person they love the most if they wanted to.

As Craig continued imagining that teenage novel in his mind, he didn't notice a series of notifications coming from his phone. He was too immersed to care; after all, couldn't they give him a moment to admire the views? After about two minutes, Craig turned and glanced nonchalantly at those notifications: they were messages from Thomas, and what they said was anything but normal.

-Craig, I have to thank you for all the time you've spent by my side. No one, no one, NO ONE will love me as much as you have. YOU, you, Craig, you are the most important person in my life, the most beautiful and sincere person in the world. And I have to apologize for being so weak, for being the most useless person in the world, for... failing you. Forgive me, but I simply don't belong in this world. I deserve to die; I've only caused sadness and pain to everyone who loves me, including you. I'm not made to live; God hates me; I don't deserve to live...

"Craig, I'm the worst person there is, but I truly cherished all the time by your side. Goodbye..."

Craig's heart stopped for a few seconds: his eyes widened as much as possible, his breathing sounded like something was choking him. Almost instantly, he felt a huge lump in his throat; he couldn't even say a single word. It was so... quick, Craig rapidly wrote to his boyfriend, he was worried, yet he clouldn't believe if it was real or not. Thomas wasn't the kind of person to joke about this, there was something in his behaviour that didn't seemed alright in the previous days... there was only one way to know if Thomas was alright...

but still Craig just stood there for a few seconds, maybe procesing what was happening... that message was sudden, out of nowere yet felt like it would've happened sooner than later ran with the speed worthy of the Olympics towards the exit of his room. His entire family saw him run and ignored them when they tried to ask what was happening. Craig didn't even stop to look at them, opened the door of his house, and ran through the neighborhood. His beloved's house wasn't far from his; he could easily get there in a minute at the speed he was going. He ran, but somehow it felt like the roads just became longer, no words where spoken, yet Craig's heart just beated harder and harder, it was choking him! He couldn't breathe! Much less talk,to shout for help, to shout Thomas name!!!

But all his hopes of saving Thomas ended when he heard the thunderous sound, like a distant lightning strike. Everything around the Craig turned hard and hot like a desert, yet cold and sharp like ice rocks. It felt like he was in a diferent world! Craig fell to the ground on his knees: he couldn't even scream or make a sound of agony after hearing that noise. He knew very well where that shot had come from, he knew very well that there was nothing he could do about it now. The lump in his throat grew so large that he could almost feel like he was being choked by it. Those were agonizing seconds; the purest silence covered the entire town. The town that no more than a minute ago enjoyed the beautiful melody of birds singing, of united and happy families chatting about their lives, now everything was in the most absolute silence. There wasn't a single soul on that street, just Craig kneeling: his eyes quickly filling with tears and spreading across his forehead.

The first to break the silence was his father: Thomas Tucker.

-Craig, is everything okay!? What the hell is happening!? - said his father.

T. Tucker shook his son nervously, wanting him to say something, not understanding why he ran out of the house, but knowing very well that the distant shot had something to do with all this. But Craig still didn't say anything, he couldn't even make a sigh, much less say what had just happened. Craig remained motionless for a while, the only thing he could think of was that if he had seen his partner's message a minute earlier, all this might have happened very differently. Maybe, just maybe, Craig could have saved him. But now, now the only thing left was to go to his beloved's house.

Without even the slightest bit of hope, Craig headed to the home of what was no less than 10 minutes ago his partner. And when he saw the house open, with his mother crying inconsolably on the floor and a couple of neighbours comforting her, he understood that, indeed, his worst fear had come true. His partner, his boyfriend, his life companion, was... gone. He couldn't even look at the lifeless body of the person he loved so much. He wasn't strong enough to do it; he couldn't bear to let all his sadness out. He cried in silence as he walked towards Thomas's mother: she was simply devastated. That poor woman had to live through her husband's divorce, had to see her son humiliated for his illness over and over again, had to watch her son isolate himself from the world, and finally, had to live through the death of the only thing she had left in life.

-No~ I don't understand~ I don't understand! ~ I DON'T UNDERSTAND! ~ I did everything for my son~ but I didn't realize what was happening to him...~ - said that completely broken mother, with eyes that looked like dried grapes from crying so much, her voice becoming weaker and weaker the more she cried, making it increasingly difficult to understand what she was saying.

-I- I don't understand either, ma'am~ I- I loved him, ~ I always tried to make his day better but~ but...~ I don't understand what I did wrong...~ - Without saying much more, the raven-haired boy hugged the mother of his deceased boyfriend; only she could understand the pain he was feeling at that moment.

-Oh, Craig~ - Mrs. Lacey closed her eyes and, still sobbing, said to Craig: - D-do you know? ~ Of the few moments I remember seeing Thomas happy in these last months was when you were by his side, ~ he wouldn't stop talking to me about you and everything you did together. I thought he was getting better, ~ but, honestly, I don't understand what happened. ~ I don't know what I did wrong~ - The inconsolable lady wiped her tears a little and then handed Craig an envelope with a blue seal.

-Here, ~ T-Thomas wanted you to read this~ -

Craig inspected the envelope with his tired eyes; it was very clean and well-kept, adorned with innocent hearts on the sides that seemed to have been drawn with extremely fine and bright markers, while in the center was a blue seal and below it a message that read: "For Craig, my one and only true love." Instantly, an avalanche of emotions overwhelmed Craig. He seemed to have a nervous breakdown, a combination of sadness for knowing this was surely the last thing Thomas did in life, and massive regret for not being there for him. All those feelings that seemed to have dissipated came back, stronger this time. He tried to calm down, tried to look away, only to feel the urge to flee from that place at once. He simply didn't want to be there any longer.

Craig ran out with the envelope in one hand and wiping away the tears running down his face and extending to his neck with the other. He didn't pay attention to his family, much less to his boyfriend's mother, who was asking him to please come back. Amid many tears, Craig just hid in his room and lay down to cry in silence. Everything had happened so quickly; he was so exhausted after this horrible day. He just lay in his bed, but it was impossible for him to sleep. Hours passed, he didn't let anyone in to console him; he felt so guilty and so powerless that he didn't even have the strength to see what was in the envelope given by Thomas. It was simply too much guilt, to the point where he couldn't look anywhere but at that letter, he couldn't even open.

And as the hours passed, the only thing Craig heard was the sound of a gunshot in the distance... It was the only thing he could hear inside his head for hours...

[knightyoomyoui]

[ONE-SHOT SPECIAL] Mina x M & F Reader - “Out Of Goodbyes”

A/N: This is just a short one-shot with 2k words. I made a bonus one-shot special ft. Mina for both my male and female readers to fill up the gap that Part 2 of CFM series left in Set 5. Like I said in my announcement, my phone got broken and currently I can't be able to send it to a repair shop yet due to financial issues. All of my plot outlines for CFM series, 1% Of Chances book and even my summary also for my upcoming and remaining entries for Set 5 are also in there so sad to say for my readers there, especially the male ones who are anticipating for the Part 2 of CFM series which is originally should be the next update of mine but due to unforeseen circumstances, I wasn't able to make one yet. Probably it might be moved instead to the Set 6 lineup rather. It still makes me disappointed and disheartened also at how sudden the bad luck just happened to me but I don't have any choice yet but to create a new revised plot for the CFM series and 1% of Chances as I apply still some parts of the original plot that I still remember in there. In addition, I'm going to focus more first on my unaffected books: The Tale Of The Bloodline and the TWICE Ships book. For now, please enjoy this very quick one-shot that I made although this one's an angst since I haven't made a full one since Doughnut series, I guess. Hope yall understand and my deepest apologies again. (This one-shot is inspired from the song "Out Of Goodbyes" by Maroon 5 and Lady Antebellum, very underrated song but for me it's a freaking masterpiece. Had me listening to it in repeat these days. Give it a listen if you want.)

7AM in the morning and you just woke up in your bed from the alarm you set hours ago before sleeping. You slammed the clock shut, stopping it from continuing to rang annoyingly before you rubbed your eyes to clear his vision for him to properly see as another day comes for him to start. Flopped back into the soft mattress of your bed, you huffed in the air before facing aside to the blank space with you where once, a certain somebody that was very special to you occupies this. As if your reflexes are still used to it, your body can't help but to react strangely when your skin gets contact in the surface; shivers and heat cursing all over just like what you've always felt whenever she's embracing you at any activities you do with her in this particular bed of yours. You frowned, a sigh escaped in your mouth as you gave the vacant area a gentle caress before you slowly stood up from the bed. Bringing the phone with you onto the kitchen, you prepared the ingredients you need for a quick breakfast that you're about to make. Part of freshening yourself up, you brushed your teeth and washed your face first before returning back to the kitchen and start cooking. As you were about to began performing the first step, your phone beeped with a notification. Phone litted bright, you peeked at it and saw the time and the date itself displayed first along with your newly replaced wallpaper consisting of just your own picture. Out of these three, the date reminded you something that even made you sadder if you'll be looking forward for this whole day. March 24 It was her birthday... and your anniversary with her. With your ex-girlfriend. With Mina. What you did with the wallpaper won't fool you also, as the location and the person who took that for you was none other than her too.

She was the person you were with on that day, and always has been. She was even included on your previous one, but what happened between you and her just hurts so much you couldn't even stand seeing her very close to you unlike how you loved it when you and her were once together. And through that, the memory flashed within your mind which clenched your chest and breaths gone heavy. FLASHBACK Tell me actions Speak louder But there's something about her words, that hurts. In the middle of the night as you are currently driving on your way home with Mina, you decided to break the unsettling silence wrapping the two of you inside the car, especially that both of you are holding unpleasant mood towards each other that neither of you can't tell enough what's behind it. "What happened to you again this time?" You asked her, eyes fixated on the road illuminated from the headlights of your car as you kept on driving carefully. Mina remained unmoved in her seat, head still leaned at the window as she stared outside to watched the bypassed surroundings of the street you're crossing ahead. "None of your business. Just take me home, please." You weren't surprised with her attitude shift at you. Here she comes again with her words that speaks louder more than her actions can tell which only results for you to feel something about these words she says to you that ends up hurtful to you. "A-are you sure? You know what I mean, I j-" "What words can't you understand from what I said, YN? I don't have time for this, okay?"

"Can you blame me for being like this to you?" You said to her, glancing at her. "I just wanted to know, Mina." "Does it even matter to you?" "Ofcourse it does!" You raised your voice higher, giving a hint at how your patience is being tested again by her unlikeable behavior. "What kind of a stupid question is that anyway? I'm your boyfriend/girlfriend, don't I have a right to take care of you?"

"Well, I kinda figured it out because I thought I'll just end up getting scolded again and you will be the one who's right here as usual." "Huh? W-what are you talking about? Is that what you really think of me treating you?" "Keep driving, YN. I just want to rest now." She ignored your plead of clarification. "F-fine. I won't force you if that's what you want." Closing up and it's too late and I'm the last one Still waiting for you to lock the door This gap of you finally giving up is inches wide remaining. You listened to her and returned your focus back on the road as you left her still silent, probably clouded with her own problems. It makes you worry, of course; but the walls she's building again is preventing you from coming closer and offer assistance to her and you just don't know why she's being like this to you. What's even worse is that, this ain't the first she's ever done this to you. This occurs every time that you and her are having problems in the midst of your third renewal of relationship with her after those previous breakups you had with her which was caused with different reasons. She was freely sharing it to you once until days come by when she turns out keeping it secret to you instead and now here she is again, deciding to cope it by herself while leaving you here still concerned about her and you are done with it. You can't allow this to continue... which is same as what you can say for your relationship with her. Your wondering and processing reached the breaking point where it now made you realize that this won't lead anywhere at all. This isn't worth it for another chances, opportunities or mercy. You are now done. You shut the door of each other's home and now you're the only one waiting for her to finally lock it and never be opened again.

Although to be honest, this is the hardest decision you've ever done in your life but there's no turning back now. You ended up here and it's no going back now, especially that you know to yourself that you can't do it anymore. On our way home I realize There's some kind of storm brewing in his /her eyes Only veiled by a thin disguise You finally reached your place with her. Parking the car slowly in front of the house, she exited quickly without even needing your help to open the door for her like you usually do and what you were about to do also. She was already in the front door as you followed her from behind. Mina turned her body to face you as she's about to lend you a way for you to insert the key to the doorknob.

There it is, Mina perceived it clearly indeed as she stared at your eyes as you turned at her with a small smile before you faced her with your side profile.

Little did you know that while Mina chose to became quiet after your almost altercation with her, she saw something right through you that tugged her heart and fill guilt inside of her. She can't tell specifically, but she knows there's something beneath your eyes that informs her that something is wrong about you, only to be hidden barely behind your mask pretending that you are fine in front of her. But, there's this possibility that she's confident enough to be sure about her thoughts, and that is she knows that you are hurting because of her from the way she acts around you. She is conscious about it because after all, it was taken effect of her falling out of love from you. So yeah, both of you were just sharing the same desire to end this relationship once and for all bringing the same perspective. Lost, confused and unmotivated to proceed guiding yourselves at what future holds for both of you together when each of you knew can see that in the end; none of you both were destined to stay together. You and her entered your house that witnessed your rollercoaster ride of memories together, and for the last time on this very night, it'll all ends here for good. You changed your clothes to a sleeping garment, so as Mina.

And now that I've done my time I need to move on and I need you to try Cause we're out of goodbyes Mina exits the bathroom, she saw you sitting alone in the bed while seeming as if you're spacing out. "YN?" She patted you on the shoulder as she stepped in front of you. Your frown and your droppy eyes made her gulp heavily. It startled you a bit as your eyes matched her beautiful face. The beauty that impressively couldn't have your heart to resist, except for this very moment where you have to let her go completely for the sake of each other. "Oh you're out now. Let's go to sleep, babe." You forcefully smiled at her. Lifting your lower body for you to lay down on the bed, you were shocked when Mina just gave you a backhug. "I-I'm sorry. I don't want to be angry and harsh at you. You just wanted to help." You felt her head shuddered before even hearing her soft whimpers of cries from the tears flowing in her face. Her affection didn't fail to brought you along with it as you also let out the emotions you're containing within you, cried as you grasped her big yet soft hands wrapped in your torso. "I know, Mina. I'm sorry too." "I'm trying, I really do YN but..." "... there's nothing in there anymore, doesn't it?", you finished her words on her behalf which surprised her. "H-how did you know?"

"I just don't feel the same too, I guess." You rubbed her hands with your fingers. "Not when I'm in love with the girl that was different from the one I used to know at all." Mina sobbed in your shoulders, her muffled sounds resonating in your ear as she buried her face to you. "I wanted to tell you already, I swear, but there's something that hold me back. I-I'm afraid to hurt you more once I tell you." You appreciated her consideration atleast, knowing that there's a glimpse of care stuck in her for you plus convinced that she did tried also to fight for each other's relationship. "I forgive you, Mina. It's not just your fault too please, we should've talked about this sooner but now that I've done my time for you... ... all I ever want now is to promise me that you'll try again as I move on, okay?

As this, yeah we can call it over now. No more other ways to say it. Not even goodbye once you and I became free tomorrow and head to our separate ways, because we both know that you and I are completely out of it."

You faced her again and cupped her cheeks as she raised her head to stare at you with her pitiful expression. You kissed her for one last time in the lips before separating yourselves. "But let this one for you to always remember before you go, Mina...

... I loved you with all my heart. Believe me, as much as I want you stay, I never asked you to change for you became like this. It pains me that you rather don't feel the same as me. That's why we have to do this. I want us to be happy again." Your bittersweet words made Mina form a smile along with another river of tears streaming down in her cheeks as she holds your warm hand and holds it tightly to her pounding chest. "I loved you too, YN. You are the best man I've ever known, it's such a shame that everything we had won't work for us at all no matter we try." You clutched the back of her head and pulled her closer to you, planting a kiss on her forehead as you caressed her hair while she submitted herself in your arms again, willingly wanting to enjoy this for the last time. "But you know what?"

She hummed in response. "In all honesty, despite you broke my heart, went through hard times and repeat; I just want to say that I'm still grateful atleast that with those good things you've done, it made me feel somehow that I was the perfect man who would love to spend longer times together with you. " Mina's quivering lips smiled. She felt her body being carried carefully by you as you made her join you lay down on the bed, with her head resting close into your chest as you helped her ease down her emotions. BACK AT THE PRESENT Ending the revisiting of that sorrowful final memory you shared with Mina, you weren't aware that there's a drop of tears landed on the screen of your phone as you drowned in the midst of your deep thoughts of her until you and her drift away in slumber for the last time as lovers at the same bed you were waking up everyday, now being alone. You wiped your eyes and your cellphone with your cloth before you opened the notification, revealing a message coming from Sana herself minutes ago. "Good morning Y/NN! When will you come here?" You replied her immediately, not wanting to make her wait longer as both of you wouldn't want to become late for later. Few hours later, you arrived at Sana's house and escorted your friend inside the car as you drive through the location of the event that you and her are invited in. Stepping into the yard, you and Sana caught every person that is present in the yard where the area is designated for an occasion. A birthday occasion. The celebrant looked at you. That familiar gummy smile, plump pinkish cheeks inflated by the curve and her symmetric eyes she had, a déjà vu effect on you. Seemed so real, bright and colorful just like the first time you met her.

You entered with Sana and greeted your friends one by one until it has come to you and her. It's been a while since both of you got this closer personally and it does felt a bit awkward for each sides.

"You arrived." You nodded and smiled. "Happy Birthday, Minari." She offered you a high five before all of a sudden, it got you flustered at her quick hug on you before she releases. "Thank you, Y/NN." You saw her adorable smile presented at you before she returned back to her friends and invite everyone for a picture. I wonder does your man still shudder when you touch his hand Like this man You aligned yourself with Sana and Momo along with other guests as they captured a photo of Mina and her boyfriend. Her body leaned closer in his arm as she holds his hand for a pose.

It's been months after the break-up, and with the sight you realized that she must've completely moved on already; as per the promise you requested for her. You are happy for her, but your heart that is still learning and unable to finally let go its love from her is what gives you an aching sensation. You looked at her hand wrapped neatly at his, you've been in his spot before and you know how great her touch felt often.

Then you muttered to yourself in curiosity if through that, the man Mina's with now; shows the same affection of love as much as you did. "You two look great, but does he make you feel loved as much as I did for you? Don't get hurt again Mina, please.", you muttered to yourself in curiosity. Meanwhile, Mina who's watching you from the distance; talking comfortably with the other friends of yours; was asking the same thing in her mind.

Unlike you, she doesn't harbor any lingering feelings; and she's only hoping the same that you're doing fine these days because too many heartbreaks won't make it worth it any longer. Just like goodbyes, you and her ran out of his and hellos also for one another to possibly never come back.

[reinahwanggg]

I Met You At Sunrise ㅡ Ch. 17

CHAPTER 17 - that's embarrassing

previous | masterlist | next

•warning(s) mentions of nerves, friends teasing each other, beomgyu has a terrible sense of direction

•word count 917 words

“why do i remember your schedule better than you do?” y/n asks her best friend, watching as she rubs the back of her neck in embarrassment. 

“you were always the better planner between us, it helps with memorization skills, y’know?” shakyla responds, hands rubbing on her jeans to get rid of her nerves. 

“that literally makes no sense, but i’ll let you slide for now.” y/n replies, patting her friend’s back in encouragement. 

shakyla woke up from a pretty weird set of dreams today, but whenever y/n would ask about it, the dark brown and ginger haired girl would reassure her that it wasn’t anything downright terrible, and that she would tell her later. 

“let me text ms smith to let her know i’ll be late, stephen still hasn’t come out yet, and it’s almost 3pm.” shakyla says after a few moments of comfortable silence between the two best friends. 

y/n moves her hand from her best friend’s back and watches as she walks towards the nearest corner. y/n sighs in melancholy, she hopes kyla’s not letting her dreams drag on her mind like she did in the beginning. another story, probably for a different time. 

y/n pulls her phone out of her pocket, and the first app she opened was twitter (sue her). she had answered stephen and jen’s posts from a bit earlier, but she noticed that she had another mention in her notifications, so she clicked on that. when she sees the odd question her internet friend decides to ask her, she’s quick to reply, downright confused. 

then her phone tings off seven separate times, and she gets even more confused, concerned for her own wellbeing. these kids are ruthless sometimes, and that emoji has her very suspicious. she texts shakyla’s older brother back from his incessant messages about the car, and laughs when he sends a funny sticker in return. 

she scrolls down her messaging app to see if she hadn’t responded to anyone yet for the day (despite it being 2:36pm), and looks over to her friend’s corner to see her on the phone, looking a little upset. y/n deducts that kyla’s probably talking to ms smith about her tardiness. stephen texts her right in that moment to let her know that he got lost, and he’ll be to their meeting spot in less than five minutes.

y/n smiles at the development, and looks up to see shakyla looking at her, she nods as if she could read her best friend’s mind. by the way the beauty deflates, it was probably the right move to make. shakyla seems to get more perky from her body language, so y/n guesses that the conversation is now taking a better turn. 

y/n flinches once she hears someone borderline shout from behind her, and turns around to see twelve kinda tall guys talking over the other as they all push their luggage, and start walking towards a different part of the airport. one of the guys, a shorter doe eyed cutie that she recognizes all too well, is trying to get everyone to calm down, but they all ignore him. he sighs heavily, and stops walking as the rest continue on and argue in what y/n can assume to be korean. shakyla walks back rubbing her temples, and makes a comment about the loud guys that causes y/n to laugh a bit too loud. 

that causes one of the boys to stop walking as well and notice two things. well, three. one, they’re walking in the wrong direction. two, jungwon was wayyyyy behind the rest of them, which meant they were being too loud. and three, the girl that’s laughing (probably at them) on the sofas looks uncannily familiar. he looks back at jungwon who looks to be cursing him out with his eyes, and then looks over to the two girls on the couch, only to lock eyes with one of them. the girl smiles softly and sends a small wave at the male, causing him to blush and look away. 

he hears laughter again, and this time he’s sure the girls are laughing at them. he then looks to see the boys are further away, and calls out to them in his loud voice to grab their attention. 

“guys,” he starts, and it gets everyone to stop walking, looking at him confused. 

“you’re all going the wrong way.” he and jungwon say at the same time, and everyone looks at the sign to see that they were, indeed, trekking the wrong path. 

“that’s embarrassing.” the youngest, riki, says as he swiftly turns around with his luggage to walk back over to his other hyungs. 

“it’s very embarrassing when it’s beomgyu hyung telling us we’re going the wrong way.” taehyun says right after, and they all laugh at the shocked face the ravenette makes at the accusation. 

“excuse me? what are you implying kang taehyun?” beomgyu asks, dragging his luggage along with him to walk over to the brunet. 

“gyu, your sense of direction sucks. we would’ve been out of here twelve minutes ago if you didn’t tell us to take that right when we should’ve taken a left.” heeseung says from his spot, and everyone agrees verbally. 

beomgyu proceeds to disagree with everyone else, and they all turn around to walk towards the exit, completely missing the trio by the sofas who were hugging their best friend as he finally arrived. 

•notes from reina this part is purely wRITTEN ! woah ! it's actually a lot shorter than i thought it was gonna be, i'm so sorry about that, but we're definitely in bhs now, there's no turning back. finally. just a heads up; a lot more writing is gonna happen, y'all. but yeah hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! see you guys for the next one! reina OUT !!

TAGLIST !! @beomies-world @bangchansbae @vatterie

[mylifemahway]

SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

Hi guys, as we know there are many cartoon characters which have made your childhood awesome. Many of you are still a fan of those and whenever or somewhere if there is something mentioned about those cartoon characters you guys go back to your childhood days remembering those moments when you see those cartoons with your friends and enjoyed those moments which are stress free as compared to present day world where every single minute you have to run for meeting your requirements. Here I have came to cherish those memories with some interesting facts about those characters by seeing whom you had enjoyed a lot in your childhood. Today I am going to start with one of the most famous cartoon character, which had made you all laugh by his foolish behaviour, yes, you are correct its none other than "SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS".

Spongebob and his friends are actually the ghosts of humans that forcefully had to take-over the bodies of sea creatures to survive. You are now thinking what are you saying my friend how can this be possible. But my friends everything is possible in this unreal world where reality is far behind our vision.

Spongebob was originally a kid named Bob. Bob was a nice kid, always helping others and always trying to stay out of trouble. But often he gets in trouble, taking the rap for what other kids did, and often accidentally tripping someone when trying to help them. One day in 1920, while riding his bike, he accidentally went down a steep hill and fell off, putting him in a coma. After 2 weeks, he eventually died and had a proper funeral. In his sea creature counterpart, he still is very nice and still gets in trouble.

Now in the cartoon you would also have seen Patrick as the best friend of Spongebob. Also in reality Patrick, in his past life, originally named John was a couple of years younger than Bob and as same as in the cartoons they were close friends. They lived in the same neighbourhood and often played together. In 1918, he was hit in the head very hard, giving him brain damage and an occasional inability to think.

Then for his last for 5 years he was always getting into extreme trouble, often hurting people and was friendless to everyone except for Bob. Then in 1923 he was having a moment of stupidity and climbed onto the roof. He tripped and fell off the roof, cracking his head and eventually killing him. In his sea creature counterpart, he still acts dumb and is only friends with Spongebob.

Next, you have seen Squidward who doesn't have any friend except his teddy with whom he plays. In reality, Squidward's original name was Dan, who was the sore thumb, never playing with the other kids. He was always lonely, with no friends except for his clarinet and his teddy bear, Zippy. Dan had a severe heart condition that would eventually lead him to his end. His heart was too weak that if something surprising happened, if he got startled, he could have a heart attack.

One night in 1930, he had a dream where zippy was murdering him. This scared him so much that he woke up with a severe heart attack, which killed him. In his sea creature counterpart, he still gets scared often and his only friend is his clarinet.

There are many other sea creatures who contain the souls of dead children. They yearn to see their families again and long from their previous lives. Maybe one day, when their fish form dies, these mournful souls will take over the new baby of their previous mother. If they cannot, however, they will be trapped in a fish body forever, roaming alone across the seven seas.

Guys please comment below how was my post. hope you would have liked it. Please share it with your friends and relatives also don't forget to subscribe  to get push up notifications of my upcoming posts.

[captainaikus]

Henlooo Belleeeeeee |ω･)ﾉ

I saw your reply on your other account (I hope you don't mind sending my reply here instead, tell me if it bothers you though! lol AND YESS OLIVER IS INDEED YOURS ;;) Thank you for asking how I've been doing lately <3 So far... It's honestly a mix of ( ; ω ; ) & (//▽//)

I'll elaborate the both of them separately

( ; ω ; )

We needed to have our OJT this semester at college (the reason being it's one of our requirements to finish)

I finished my Resume & portfolio for this during Christmas break so I can enjoy my holidays/new year better

I applied to one of my friend's companies and passed said requirements (a breath of relief for a moment)

It's been weeks now and I haven't received a single reply from any company to I've applied for an internship

I start to question myself "Oh no.. was my portfolio too bad? Was it the resume?!??" "Did I not pass the current standards inside the industry??" and the overthinking continues.

You know that one scene from the Blue Period where Yatora began to question his worth as an artist and slowly went spiraling into a dark void of emptiness?? (He once quit smoking and then he smokes again?) Yea... Minus the smoking part, I feel so--- ugh...

(//▽//)

This is going to sound cheesy but, it's actually seeing that you noticed my anonymous asks from your recent last event (the 2.2k Follower special! OMGAHHHHHH Congratulations Oliver Belle!!!! ╰(*´︶`*)╯). I was the one who asked the Rin's (Being proud of him, how to guide the virgin reader, and having a hard time sleeping!!) (*ﾉ∀`*) The number of times my face went ////////// I was really debating whether to show anon or not c-cuz I'm too timid and...thefactthatIaskednsfwthingssometimesmademescreamontheinsidecuzAAAAWTHDIDIJUST... B-BUT NEXT TIME I WILL SHOW MYSELF NOT ANON!! >:3 I like how it's soooo easy to navigate through your blog here whenever I want to read the previous asksss!!!

ONE OF MY FAVORITE ILLUSTRATORS NOTICED MY MESSAGE!!!! This just happened recently. Y-you see, I saw this video where he explains how a good portfolio works and mentioned "You need to go ask experts, heck, your favorite artists even. Ask them if your art is up to standards or if should you improve this part or nah. Just go and ask!" after being so downhearted since no company still replied to me yet, I've already expected that I'll get the same treatment from h-him. But REALITY said "SIKE!" and a notification from him crossed over to whatever I was looking at that time. What did I do? I SLAMMED MY PHONE TO THE COUCH IN DISBELIEF AND MY FACE-- COMPLETELY FLUSHEDDDDD I-I F-FUEEEEEE??????!?!?????? (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) OML A-AND HE SAID---

"Hello! I took a look at the link and you have more experience in working for others than me. I think that's one of the most important things that companies look at. Your art is already good (the colours are pleasant and the lighting is good, you are already familiar and knowledgeable with drawing basics so there's no worries about that!) so the thing that needs focus for portfolio will be the work experience and samples from that work experience ^^)

I CAN'T BELIEVE ITTTTT AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I'M JUST FLABBERGASTED WHEN HE CONSIDERED MY ART AS GOOD (and he even finds my colouring pleasant too!!! ;;;;;;; (/▽＼*)｡o○♡) IT MEANT A LOOOOOOOTTTTT TO MEEE considering what I've experienced from the last couple of days ><

OMFG I GOT RIN IN BLUELOCK WORLD CHAMPION!! My hard work finally paid off ;;; I'm currently aiming to reach his bond points to level 20 so I could listen to his voice lines (Godbless u Ucchi uwu) and apply what I've studied through self-studying the language. So far, I've decoded little bits from the in-game conversations during training sessions. Assistant-chan (us in-game) is patient with Rin and helped him run through sessions. There was this time when Isagi mentioned something about Valentine's choco causing Rin to frown (the game surprisingly have a face model ready for it too). There was also a time when Rin is casually being Rin while Assistant-chan brushes them off or played along which I find entertaining~ I think the game would be releasing your man and Sae too (considering that Sae's icon could be seen in Club Icons)

That's just about it for mee >< Oh yea! About the tag list you'll be making (if u do)... would it be alright to be tagged to sfw, nsfw, and yandere?? :3

Also!! From that one reblog you just posted, I'm currently assuming that you discovered fanfics when you were around high school

Hi mon ange <3 idm you messaging on either pretty, I just dropped my discord on the other acc - so that moots can feel free to text me :) Oliver has been giving me brainrots when i'm learning something new - and cause of that ao3 would be witnessing me creating a fourth work *sigh* so happy to see him in the latest chapters cause i have been waiting patiently for 6 months n over v.v Honestly, i get the anxiety around OJTs - very relatable understanding with Yatora's dilemma too cause he was worried if he was gonna get into a prestigious art school but here's something i learnt - having a positive mind with confidence and faith in yourself can go a really long way. Cheer up you're gonna do fine! ૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა Aw, thank you for participating in the event! and I hope you had fun playing honestly, i feel some of people n anons are nervous or embarrassed to send in nsfw asks - so I'll have to make some more rules while - there is no slut or virgin shaming on my blog and honestly, I may have ventured on something myself that I am too embarrassed about monsterfucking so... yeah - ao3 is gonna witness an abomination of a fourth book cause of the thoughts i have in my head... mixed with blue lock characters... Congrats Mino! I agree with you on this one, creators are actually thrilled when ppl ask them to review their work or to take a look at it cause ik when I do that, i am stoked and i try to help with what can be improved or places that needs tending to And you got Rin! you're not gonna believe it but the first draft I had of yandere rin was the whole choco fiasco, but then I changed the story line n something even more weird is when I made ghostface! Rin, the trailer for scream chapter 5 came out! n omg Aiku is getting released- I- T^T i will try downloading it (ik i'm gonna abandon it soon cause i did the same with genshin n obey me) And ofc ! I'll add you to the taglist when I release new works on ao3 :> As for the assume game, yes! i did discover fanfics when I was 14 - 15 (was on a quest for knb when i found it) - i began using wattpad n then i shifted to tumblr then ao3 ao3 was confusing for me to use at first n as I got older

[jealousraisin]

Ch.6 - Insomnia

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter - Masterlist

Tonight was just one of those nights, sleep was not coming. Luke has been tossing and turning for a while now, he doesn’t have a clock in his room so that he doesn’t stare at it all night wishing and hoping he was asleep at that very moment. It’s late, Luke knows that. He refuses to turn around and look at the time on his phone. He knows glancing over is only going to make the anxious, heavy feeling in his chest grow. He’s glancing up at the bedroom ceiling, he is sure he would have stared holes into the ceiling by now with all the sleepless nights he’s spent in his room. Trying to calm his mind, trying to think of anything to get his mind off of the anxious feeling and the gnawing thought that he should be soundly asleep by now…

‘What do I have to do tomorrow? list off the tasks in order. Reorganise them. Run through scenarios.’

‘Visualise a place where I am calm, a place where I am at peace just by being there’

No. Nothing is working; sometimes boring himself with trivial thoughts affords him at least a little bit of shut eye in this scenario.

Not tonight it seems.

Luke sits up in his bed, he admits defeat and looks at the time on his phone.

‘2:17 AM’ The numbers stare back at him; he sighs as he feels that desperation settle in his stomach. He’s been trying to sleep since 9:30 PM.

“I just want to be asleep” He anxiously runs his hands across his face and hair.

As he says that, his phone quietly pings with a notification. He glances at his phone; he’s obviously not sleeping tonight so he might as well look.

‘You awake?’

It’s you.

‘I am…. what are you doing still awake? Work have you doing another all-nighter?’

‘Nope. Can’t sleep :/‘

Luke feels a little reassured that at least he isn’t alone in this situation, though he’s certain the reasons for why either of you can’t sleep are different, you are still in the same boat.

‘Me neither’ He turns on the lamp beside his bed ‘tried all my usual tricks, looks like tonight isn’t a night that I sleep’

‘Wish I was asleep right now’ You don’t know why you’re messaging him, you kind of did it on autopilot since you’re always texting him. As you sent that first message you felt a little bad, worried you might have woken him up or that he was going to see that message whenever he woke up and it would have been awkward to have a missed ‘you up?’ text from a friend sitting in his notifications.

Your phone starts buzzing in your hand, you jump a little from the sudden noise in your quiet apartment. These past few weeks you learnt he likes to call rather than text whenever the two of you are able to. You’re still getting used to calling instead of texting, since you text all of your friends and only really call them to get them to answer the door or get an urgent message through.

“Hello?” your voice comes out a little awkward, having not really used your voice since you got home from work.

“hey” He’s speaking softly, Charlie must be home and asleep in her room. “Is it okay if we talk this way?” His voice sounds deeper, tired and soft. You shake away any straying thoughts from your head, your friend is calling because they can’t sleep, get your head in the game.

“Uh, yeah” you roll over to the side where your bedroom window is, looking outside at the night sky.

You hear shuffling on the other side, a beat of silence passes.

“This might sound a little silly…but could we hang out right now? I kind of don’t want to be alone tonight” He asks. You can hear the slight hesitation in his voice, how he said that last part a lot quieter than the first.

You nod, before realising he can’t see you. “Come over” your quiet voice rings through Luke’s speaker. You swear you can hear a faint sigh of relief at your response.

“I’ll be there soon”

The dial tone beeps.

You’re in the kitchen, having a late-night hot drink when the buzzer rings. You pad over to the small screen affixed your wall, seeing Luke’s familiar figure.

You buzz him in, shortly after there is a soft knock on your door.

“hey” you greet as you open the door to let him enter your apartment.

“hey” he mirrors back.

You get a good look at him; his figure is hunched over and showing obvious signs of exhaustion and anxiety. It’s strange to see the guy who is always smiling throwing joke after joke like this. You shut the door and lead the two of you to settle down on your couch.

“You look like shit” you joke.

He lets out a small laugh “Thanks, you too” he’s looking up at your barely tamed hair and mismatched choice of pyjamas. You both share a chuckle; Luke relaxes a bit.

“So neither of us could sleep tonight huh?”

“noPe” Luke pops the ‘P’ as he leans his head back on your couch, getting comfortable.

“I tried all of my usual tricks, hell, I even counted sheep” you recall.

“Did you get far?”

“I got up to about 260 sheep before I gave up, I don’t think anyone needs that many anyway”

“That sounds like way too many”

You really want to ask him why he can’t sleep but glancing over at him you can tell he definitely wants to think about anything but whatever is on his mind right now. You brush it aside for another time, if ever. You return to the topic at hand; the lack of sleep blighting the two of you right now. You’re twiddling with your fingers as a possible solution comes to mind, you hesitate a little bit before steeling yourself to suggest your idea.

“What if we slept together?”

Luke’s head turns to look at you so fast you fear it may snap.

Oh wait.

You realise the mistake in your wording.

“NO WAIT THAT CAME OUT WRONG!” You’re blocking the stupid mischievous look slowly spreading on his face with your hands as you hear him start to spew out teasing words, there’s the Luke you know again.

“You haven’t even wined and dined me yet”

You try to cover his mouth so he’ll shut up. He easily removes your hand without any difficulty

“Man, I knew I was irresistible, but to try to bed me when I’m in such a state? Wooowww, you dog”

You’re embarrassed, you should have known he would have taken your words the wrong way as they were coming out of your mouth. ‘Ground swallow me up now, I’m ready to go’ is all you can think as you turn red.

“You know that’s not what I meant!” as you say that you realise that this “misunderstanding” prompted a bit of a wrestling situation as Luke’s teasing and your need to hide and make him shut up at the same time put the two of you in a bit of a position. A position that if anyone were to walk in, they would hurriedly muster up a ‘sorry, you’re busy’ and back out of the room. Thank goodness you don’t have roommates.

Luke relents his teasing; feeling he has done enough. “Okay okay,” He repositions himself back on his side of the couch, letting you get back up as well, “What did you mean then?”

“What if we just, went to bed together. Talked there? No pressure to actually fall asleep. You know, sleepover style where you talk all night but somehow along the way you seemingly pass out?”

Luke never thought of that as a way to combat his sleeplessness, but you had a point. He felt a bit confident with your idea, having someone by his side while trying to sleep might curb his overthinking.

“Ya know what, that’s not a bad idea,” He’s stroking his chin as if he had a long beard “Let’s do it”

As you’re leading him over to your room your mind thinks over to your friend Vanessa, who you’re certain would be having a field day if she heard of what was currently happening. You can hear her voice now ‘YOU? Leading a MAN?? To your room late at night??? I’m not ready to be a cool aunt yet’ you smile and shake the thought out of your head. Vanessa can find out later. Currently Luke and you were insomnia warriors, ready to fight sleeplessness and win.

You didn’t fix your bed when you got up earlier so slipping back in was as easy as ever. You pat the empty side of the bed inviting him to join you, Luke hesitates for a split second before removing his hoodie; leaving him in his beloved band t-shirt he uses for sleep. He gets into the opposite side of the bed and mirrors your action of facing each other to talk.

Just like a sleepover, silly late-night conversations flow easily. Luke’s earlier demeanour of tension and nerves shifting to a lighter one as the two of you talk about nothing and everything all at once. You’re both laying on your backs, finding talking up to the darkness of the night freeing; like you can say whatever comes to mind. As Luke is recounting his various spontaneous adventures you feel the familiar and very welcomed sensation of sleep taking over.

“Hey"

"Mm?" You hum, sleep just about taking you.

"Let's make a deal"

You keep your eyes shut, silence prompting him to continue

"Whenever you can't sleep, you can always pester me. Y’know; Call me, beep me, if you wanna reach me"

You turn around to face him

"Was that a Kim possible reference…"

"No..." You can hear the smile in his voice.

"You dork. It's a deal," Before dozing off you add "and you have to do the same."

Silence envelops the two of you, finally able to sleep.

Sometime throughout the night the two of you end up in a tangle of limbs. As you wake up between dreams you feel the weight of an arm keeping your back glued to his slowly rising and falling chest, as you try to readjust you feel said arm hold you tighter. Seems his subconscious doesn’t want to let you go; What’s that about? Before going back to sleep you think about the other side of Luke, the little glimpse you got tonight sparking your curiosity and need to understand him.

The next morning Luke wakes up feeling unusually rested considering how late he ended up finally sleeping. He recalls falling asleep by your side but as he turns to your side he notices that it’s empty. He gets up, eyes still heavy from sleep as he makes his way to your living room. He finds you in the kitchen plating up an incredibly delicious breakfast. You seem to notice him at the last second, a smile spreads on your face as you greet him good morning.

“Welcome to the land of the living sleeping beauty!” You joke as you put down the final plate of breakfast options on the table. “I didn’t know what you wanted for breakfast but I didn’t want to wake you up to ask so I just made a bit of everything.”

Luke settles into the dining table chair, a dopey smile and messy bedhead accented by the sunlight that filtered in through the balcony sliding door. The two of you enjoy your varied breakfast in light conversation.

What a way to start off your weekend.

[mycurrent-hyperfixation]

Take A Chance On Me - Chapter Eleven (Eddie Munson x Reader Series)

Series Summary: Corroded Coffin is lacking only one thing that could help them win the upcoming Battle of the Bands; original songs. So when a new band comes to town with a lead singer that looks all too familiar and a repertoire of original songs up their sleeves, Dustin concocts a plan that will get you to spill all of your songwriting secrets to Eddie. It’s just a few dates, right?

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Masterlist

Word Count: 7.8K

Pairings: Eddie Munson x Reader, Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, 10 Things I Hate About You AU

A/N: Did I change one of the songs for this chapter last minute? Yes. Am I satisfied with the songs used? Absolutely not. But I am so sick of listening to hour upon hour of music trying to find the perfect song so here we are. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. These chapters just keep getting longer and longer so I'm really struggling to put out a chapter per week but we're like two-ish chapters away from the end so I refuse to be late now. I kid you not I planned out the last round of the competition to take up half a chapter and it's going on three whole chapters now. All of your comments on the last chapter gave me so much joy. I'm not joking when I say I was beaming whenever I got the notification that one of y'all commented so thank you so much for continuing to support my work! As always, love you all!

The moment in the bathroom replayed in Eddie’s mind nothing short of a thousand times. He thought about the closeness of your breath and the gentle grasp of your finger against his and the soft skin of your palm resting against his cheek. He thought of how breathtaking you had looked even in the dim lighting of the room, your face focused into a look of concentration as you had wiped gently at his forehead. He had revelled in your distraction, taking the chance to drink all of you in until he had become practically drunk at the sight of you standing so close before him.

Eddie thought about that moment as he lingered in the bathroom long after you had gone, one hand cradling his forehead, the other resting on his hip as he continued to try and continued to fail at calming his racing heart. He had paced the room for half an hour before Jeff had come to find him, and even then, when he was back in the confines of the green room, you situated in the opposite corner as you talked with your friends, he had thought about the bathroom still. He thought about the softness of your voice, and even though you had not said all that much, he thought about how there was no tone of hatred masked behind it this time.

You looked up at him for just a moment from across the room, and Eddie could feel the flutter of his heart as your gaze found his. The glance was fleeting, barely there at all, but it was enough to let Eddie hope that maybe you had stopped avoiding him. It would likely kill him if this were to be the last time he saw you, if the two of you were to part ways after this final performance. And so he took that fleeting glance and he hid it somewhere within his heart, unwilling to let it go.

In the end, Eddie only remembered the existence of the competition when he watched as you and your band exited the green room, your instruments slung across your shoulders. You glanced back at Eddie only once during your departure, and as you did so you plucked a finger down each string of your guitar softly. Eddie smiled as the sweet sounds of each note reverberated around the room, and although you did not smile back, the small nod that you offered him before disappearing through the doorway had his heart aflutter nonetheless.

Eddie found himself rising from his seat before he had even made the decision to follow you, earning him a confused expression from each of his bandmates.

“Where are you going?” Gareth asked.

Eddie thought the question wholeheartedly stupid, and yet his features remained neutral as he turned back to Gareth. The two of them had only recently begun talking to each other again, and Eddie did not have the heart to aggravate their friendship any further.

“They’ll be on soon,” was all he responded with.

“Dude, have you seen that crowd? You’ll get swallowed by that thing if you go in there,” Mike said.

“We can just watch them from the wings,” Jeff added.

Eddie knew that they were right. He had peeked out towards the crowd from the side of the stage not long ago, and the sheer volume of people that he had been met with had instilled nerves even within him. He knew that it would be risky to enter the crowd when Corroded Coffin were playing right after you. He knew that he could just watch your set from the safety of the wings instead. And yet he also knew that he would not be able to see you properly if he were to watch you from the side of the stage; he would not see as your nerves washed away and as your lips curved upwards into that same soft smile that always appeared when you played.

So in the end the decision was an easy one to make. Eddie shrugged his shoulders, turned around, and made his way down towards the crowd.

The throng of people that he was met with was so tightly compact that Eddie became instantly repulsed by the sheer amount of people that were touching him at once. It was hot, he was sweaty, and the buzz of conversation was insufferably loud so that it was hard not to consider simply turning around and retreating back the way he had come.

But then you were walking on stage and the thought left him all at once. Because even though there was a considerable amount of people standing between the two of you, even though your gaze never found his as you looked out towards the crowd, you were somehow even more beautiful than you had been when Eddie had first seen you upon a stage back on that rainy night at the Hideout, and Eddie was quite taken aback at how that was even possible.

For just a moment, Eddie wished that it was his guitar that was sitting perched across your shoulders, for something quite animalistic had arisen within him at that sight during your last performance. But in truth you were just as breathtaking as always, and Eddie could feel the beat of his heart quicken as you flashed a smile at the crowd.  

As you turned to set up your amplifier, Eddie found his gaze momentarily distracted by the sight of Dustin Henderson shoving his way towards him. In toe was Steve Harrington who did not try to hide the scowl that covered his features when his eyes met Eddie’s. 

“I didn’t think I’d see you down here!” Dustin yelled over the crowd. 

Eddie did not quite know how to respond. The truth would likely sound too creepy, especially to Steve who was now standing with his arms folded across his puffed-out chest; the truth that he had needed to see the way you closed your eyes and lost yourself in the music, the way your hips began unconsciously swaying to the beat, the way you would forget the crowd, forget everything, and simply have fun. It was intoxicating, seeing you upon a stage; hypnotising even, and Eddie was sure as hell not going to miss what might be the last time he ever got the privilege of watching you perform.

But before Eddie could respond, you were turning back around to face the crowd once more, your lips pressing up against the microphone.

“Hello again!”

Eddie breathed out a sigh of relief when Dustin—his question forgotten—turned his attention towards the stage, trying to ignore the way that Steve was glaring at him.

“Today we’ve got something a little bit different for you.”

The crowd erupted in cheers and Eddie could not quite blame them even though he had to fight the urge to bring his hands up to cover his ears. His curiosity was piqued now, and he found himself holding his breath in anticipation.

“Who here has ever dated an asshole?”

The crowd went wild.

Eddie could not quite stop his face from falling nor his shoulders from dropping. He had allowed himself to hope in that bathroom; to hope that maybe you would not hate him forever, that maybe you would allow him the pleasure of lingering within your presence every so often, that maybe, just maybe, things might get back to how wonderful they had been before. But now he realised that his hopes had been a futile thing; that he had been so abundantly stupid to ever believe that you might come back to him. You were kind. That was all the bathroom had been regardless of how close the two of you had been standing or how many times Eddie had thought your gaze had flickered just slightly downwards towards his lips. You were kind and he was stupid, that was all.  

He could feel Dustin and Steve staring at him now, and their gazes only caused more shame to flood through him as he cast his eyes down to the floor. It was almost painful to look upon you, for he knew just how beautiful you looked upon that stage and it would hurt all the more now that it was made abundantly clear that he could never have you.

Eddie felt like leaving. He felt like making his way back up to the green room and then maybe even going further until he was in the carpark and could hopefully no longer hear the song that was undoubtedly about him and all of his assholery. And yet just like when you had laid yourself out bare before him that night in his trailer, once again he found himself incapable of pulling himself away from you. So he stayed and he pulled his gaze back up towards you, his breath hitching in this throat as usual at the sight of the small smile that was upturning your lips.

“Well, we’ve got a song here all about assholes. But we were thinking: why do we get to have all the fun singing it?”

You waited patiently as the crowd’s thunderous roar finally died down, their interest piqued just as Eddie’s was as he waited for you to continue. Your smile was almost devilish, and Eddie revelled in the sight of it.

“So would you help us sing the last chorus?”

Again, the crowd erupted in a series of screams, and your smile only grew wider.  

You were quick as you commanded the audience, knowing the judges had no patience when it came to tardiness. So you played each line of the chorus only once, pausing after each one so that the crowd could repeat it back to you. They were hesitant at first, their combined efforts no louder than your own singing with the microphone, and Eddie could see the small falter in your smile as the nervousness flooded through you once more. So by the third line of the chorus, Eddie found himself screaming the lyrics back, and smiled as the people around him followed.

“Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” The waiver in your voice was faint—barely there at all, really—but Eddie still heard it. He saw the way you turned your gaze to the floor, how the confidence in your posture dropped slightly. You were doubting yourself, he knew, and he wanted nothing more than to jump onto that stage and grasp your hand in his, to rub soothing circles across your palm and smile reassuringly at you, to offer any kind of comfort that he could until that smile reappeared across your lips.

For just the smallest of moments as you pulled your gaze upwards to the crowd once more, Eddie could have sworn that your eyes locked with his. It was unlikely considering how many people were packed into the room and how the blinding lights of the stage shrouded the crowd in shadow. But Eddie still flashed you a smile when he thought your gaze lingered upon him, and whether the small upturning of your lips was in response to him or was simply directed out towards the crowd, Eddie’s heart thundered in his chest nonetheless.

“This one’s called Since You’ve Been Gone.”

The beginning of the song was tamer than Eddie expected; a chord progression of simple notes, a basic drum pattern. And yet even though it was simple, it was undoubtedly catchy, the crowd beginning to nod their heads along to the beat before you had ever begun to sing.

“Here’s the thing, we started out friends

It was cool but it was all pretend

Yeah, yeah

Since you’ve been gone.”

Eddie couldn’t lie; the words stung. And yet he found himself forgetting about the pain, forgetting about most things really, as you came alive. Your eyes might have been directed out towards the crowd but you weren’t looking at them, Eddie knew. You were in your own world now, a world where it was just you and your band, and it somehow made you all the more captivating to watch.

“You’re dedicated, you took the time

Wasn’t long ‘til I called you mine

Yeah, yeah

Since you’ve been gone.”

Eddie’s attempt at strategy for the competition came down to one thing; play it loud and hope for the best. So he found himself quite surprised at the docility of the beginning of the song. And yet his own head was nodding to the beat now, for the song was just as good as everything else that you had written even without the presence of an extreme beat and a turned-up amplifier, and the thought was oddly terrifying.  

“And all you’d ever hear me say

Is how I picture me with you

That’s all you’d ever hear me say.”

You were talented, that much Eddie had known from the very moment he had first seen you upon the stage at the Hideout. And yet now, he still found himself surprised at just how much he was enjoying the song, even if he was the asshole in question. The thought brought a smile to his lips and a slight chuckle to his breath.

The music was building now as it reached the chorus, growing and amplifying until a cacophony of noise burst out into the hall all at once. Eddie came to realise that he had been wholeheartedly wrong; the song was not docile at all.

“But since you’ve been gone

I can breathe for the first time

I’m so moving on, yeah, yeah

Thanks to you

Now I get what I want

Since you’ve been gone.”

The song was you.

There was no other way to describe the fire and the passion and the sheer intensity that was buried within each lyric, lingering behind every note. Eddie thought it almost funny, the dramatic change in pacing, for it reminded him wholly of you; a spark of light on the outside and a firework beneath.

It was completely electrifying; so much so that for just a moment Eddie found it hard to breath. Your eyes were closed as you sung into the microphone, your voice powerful and unyielding in a way he had not heard it before. You held nothing back as you sang, and it made the room all the more exhilarating. The crowd felt it too, some beginning to sing even though you had not instructed them to so that the room became practically ablaze with noise.

“How can I put it? You put me on

I even fell for that stupid love song

Yeah, yeah

Since you’ve been gone.”

Eddie could feel Dustin’s gaze as it returned to him, could feel it burning a hole into the side of his head as his stare lingered there.

“This must be hard for you,” Dustin eventually said.

Eddie thought about the statement.

Because no, it was not particularly hard to listen to the lyrics as the song continued, and Eddie had not been able to quite figure out why. Perhaps it was the way you said each word with the same wide smile that Eddie so adored. Perhaps it was the way you had begun to dance now, often turning back towards your band mates and forgetting the crowd completely. Perhaps it was the way you just seemed to be having so much fun, for Eddie would always revel in the sight of your happiness.

But Eddie lingered on the thought, knowing that the truth lied somewhere else. When it finally hit him, a wide smile erupted onto his features.

“Or if the person that the song is about is there, I like to look at them too. Then it’s kind of just like I’m giving them a little poem I wrote for them,” you had once said to Eddie, and at the time he had thought the sentiment so painfully adorable. The words replayed in his mind now, over and over until the wideness of his smile begun to hurt to his jaw.

“How come I’d never hear you say, “I just wanna be with you”?

Guess you never felt that way.”

Eddie could see Dustin’s features from the corner of his eye slowly beginning to morph into a look of confusion. Eddie did not blame him; his sudden change in demeanour was likely the last expression of emotion that Dustin had expected him to produce. Steve was furrowing his brows now as well, although Eddie could not quite bring himself to care.

Because now Eddie so hoped that you had glanced towards him at the beginning of your set, that you knew his positioning in the crowd and had had no need to look back. You had avoided his gaze during your last performance, had looked anywhere but at him for what had felt like forever. But even then, your gaze had still eventually found its way back to him, and the hatred and the sadness and the sheer emotion that you had poured into every word that you had directed right at him had only broken his heart further.

But today, through all the smiles and through all the lyrics, you had not returned your eyes back to him, and Eddie found himself more elated by that information than he ever thought he would be.

“She hasn’t looked at me,” fell from his lips, Dustin’s confusion only worsening. Steve’s expression changed however, a slight look of surprise overtaking his features as he quirked one eyebrow up. He understood, Eddie knew, and the thought only made Eddie’s hope soar.

“Wha-” Dustin tried.

“She hasn’t looked at me!” Eddie screamed now as he connected his hands with Dustin’s shoulders and shook him excitedly. The action surprised the boy, and yet before he could react Eddie was pulling away just as quickly, eager to return his attention back to you.

“Is he on drugs?” Eddie heard Dustin whisper to Steve.

But Steve’s own lips were upturning now as he said, “No, I don’t think so.”

“But since you’ve been gone

I can breathe for the first time

I’m so moving on, yeah, yeah

Thanks to you,

Now I get, I get what I want.”

The song had somehow begun to build even further, and Eddie could feel the electricity in the room growing along with it. The atmosphere was practically palpable, something heavy lingering in the air.

“You had your chance, you blew it

Out of sight, out of mind

Shut your mouth, I just can’t take it

Again, and again, and again, and again.”

For just a moment Eddie felt his resolve waiver. Perhaps he was being delusion in his belief that the song was not about him. The lyrics would make so much sense after all. But then your smile was only growing wider, your hair falling slightly in front of your face as you nodded your head along to the beat, and Eddie thought that in the end it didn’t really matter. What mattered was the smile upon your face and whether or not he had the ability to make it stay there.

Robin’s guitar took a hold of the room now, your grip on your own guitar falling away as you let it hang limply from the strap around your shoulders. Your hands came up, the audience bristling in anticipation. The crowd held their breath, waiting for your que.

“Your turn!” you called into the microphone.

The crowd came alive.  

“Since you’ve been gone!” they sung, assisted by Meg, Vicki and Robin.

“Since you’ve been gone,” you echoed by yourself.

“I can breathe for the first time

I’m so moving on, yeah, yeah.”

It was deafening being amongst it all, most people screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs. The crowd was not perfect, many forgetting one lyric or another. But the sheer enthusiasm poured into every word made up for it. With the rest of your band singing along the crowd was guided through each line until there was nothing but the sound of your lyrics echoing around the hall. The floors felt as if they were vibrating from the noise, although whatever movement Eddie felt was likely caused by the rowdiness of the crowd as they jumped and bounced along to the beat.

“Thanks to you!” the crowd sang.

“Thanks to you!” you echoed

“Now I get, I get what I want.”

“One more time!” you called, and the crowd obeyed instantly.

People were jumping up and down, some thrashing their arms around in whatever semblance of dancing they were attempting. But the closeness of the crowd was almost a dangerous thing now, and Eddie found himself shuffling closer to Dustin if only to try and protect him from the onslaught of limbs that surrounded them. But through it all Eddie found himself joining the crowd, singing along with just as much fervour.

“I can breathe for the first time

I’m so moving on, yeah, yeah,

Thanks to you

Now I get!

You should know

That I get, I get what I want.”

With each passing lyric you echoed it back, harmonising and adding to the combined efforts of the crowd.

Eddie had fallen in love with your voice from the very first moment he had heard it, and yet still he found himself blown completely away. You were belting the notes now, your voice rising above everything else, your eyes screwed tightly shut as the room fell away. It was just you that he could see now, just you he could hear, and Eddie thought that if he were to spend forever in this suspended limbo where the only thing he could perceive was you, he would be a lucky man.

Your hands flew up once more, the crowd silencing upon your command as the bass and the drums and the guitar fell away.

“Since you’ve been gone.

Since you’ve been gone.

Since you’ve been gone.”

It was just your voice that echoed throughout the room, so melodic as it reverberated upon every wall. And then, as if the falling of your arms released the audience from their silence, the room erupted into a chorus of cheers so deafening that Eddie found himself wincing at the noise. But he was amongst the people cheering, bringing his fingers up to his mouth and whistling as loudly as he could.

The smile that was spread across your lips was intoxicating as Eddie looked upon you. And even though you were panting and you were sweating and your hair was slightly messy, Eddie thought you just as breathtaking as you always were. For just a moment, your gaze found his, and he could not quite help the soaring of his heart when the wideness of your smile did not falter.

But then Eddie’s gaze was leaving yours, quite surprised as the figure of Steve Harrington leaned over towards him.  

“Aren’t you up next?” Steve enquired, the smirk across his features almost devilish.  

“Shit!” Eddie cried and quite unceremoniously scrambled his way backstage.

---

You were quite certain that the feeling of the endorphins running through you as you eventually made your way off stage likely felt similar to the high of drugs. It was intoxicating the way your blood was thrumming through your veins that your heart felt almost as if it might burst out of your chest at any moment.

The only sounds that you and your band seemed capable of producing as the crowd continued to scream long after you had left could only correctly be labelled as a squeal. And yet although the sound was high-pitched and somewhat embarrassing, you could not quite bring yourself to care as you continued to make it all the way down the hall.

But then a figure was scrambling past the four of you and your squealing ceased altogether, because Eddie Munson looked to be running for his life towards the green room and the sight was undoubtedly hilarious. You turned your gaze to where the rest of Corroded Coffin were waiting in the wings, all of them ready to perform and all of them rolling their eyes at the sight of their lead singer running past.

When Eddie slipped slightly upon trying to turn into the green room at a sharp angle, you and your band could not quite stop the barks of laughter that left your lips, all four of you still high from the adrenaline of the set so that your bouts of laughter lasted longer than they probably should have.

“Somebody got a bit distracted,” Robin leaned down and whispered in your ear, and you hoped that the weak punch you applied to her shoulder would be enough to distract her from the blush that arose upon your cheeks.

Eddie emerged from the green room just as quickly as he had entered it, flinging his guitar strap across his shoulders and traversing the final distance to the wings with amazing speed. He was panting, his hair slightly messy as he offered a smile to his bandmates and as their expressions remained neutral in return.

“See? I told you I’d make it,” Eddie said, his voice a clear indication of his attempt at a joke. Jeff and Mike relented in their glares, but Gareth did not, and so Eddie turned away with a sigh, running his hands through his hair.

You weren’t altogether too sure why you lingered in the wings as your band continued on down the hallway, but when Eddie noticed your presence, the smile that erupted across his features had your own lips itching to curl upwards. He turned fully towards you, stepping maybe just slightly closer than what one’s personal space might border.

“You guys were like...insane.” His voice was softer than you had expected it to be, but the sheer enthusiasm that dripped from his words made something warm erupt within your heart.

“That crowd was insane,” you responded.

“They were just responding to you.”

A silence blossomed between you, although its presence wasn’t as awkward as you had expected. It was nice almost, talking with Eddie again and not feeling like punching him. Although there was a part of you that wondered where those feelings had gone. They had been so very prominent for so very long; an anger and a hurt the likes of which you had never seen. And yet now it was their absence that felt strange, as if you had resigned yourself to their permanent residency within you.

But then Eddie was opening his mouth as if he were about to say something, and you found yourself standing at rapt attention, listening intently. But before he could utter whatever it was that was about to fall from his lips, the stage manager was ushering his band on stage. Eddie looked towards where Gareth, Jeff and Mike were standing, offered them a curt nod, and then turned back to give you an apologetic smile.

The silence turned awkward as Eddie continued to linger within your presence, not quite knowing what to say. He looked almost sheepish now, his posture slightly slouched and his eyes not quite meeting yours.

“W-will you watch?” His voice was soft, hesitant almost, as if he had been unsure whether to utter the statement or not. The question surprised you.

“Um,” you began, distracted now as Eddie stared intently at you as if he were hanging upon your every word. “Yeah, okay.”

The sigh of relief that left Eddie’s lips almost had you wanting to smile. The stage manager returned, this time her sentiments more persistent. Eddie nodded to her but lingered within your presence for just a few seconds longer.

“I should…um,” Eddie finally said, pointing to where his bandmates were glaring daggers into his back.

“Yes, of course,” you said.

And then Eddie was turning away from you and the sight was oddly painful.

“Eddie?” you found yourself calling out to him before you could stop yourself.

Eddie whipped around so fast it looked almost as if he were a dog being called by its owner. The look he directed towards you was one of rapt attention, as if he were waiting with bated breath for whatever it was that you were about to say.

You wanted to collect yourself; you wanted to take the time to think through the message that you were about to convey. Although what exactly you wanted to say still eluded you. Because now, words seemed an almost impossible thing with Eddie Munson standing before you. Suddenly it felt almost as if you were back in middle school; a girl standing before her crush willing words into existence if only to abate the awkwardness that had begun to grow.

But there was simply no time to think. The crowd was waiting.

“Never mind. You should go before your band goes on without you.”

“Right…yes,” Eddie said, although there was a slight furrow to his brow now as he looked upon you. But he said nothing, only offering you a small smile before he was turning around and leaving once more.

“Goodluck!” you found yourself calling out.

Eddie turned back around, walking backwards for a few steps, and the smile that he directed towards you was so wide and so genuine and so wholeheartedly Eddie that you felt your heart constrict within your chest.

“Does this mean we’re doing the thing?” you heard Mike say to Eddie as the four of them finally made their departure for the stage.

Eddie smiled back at you one last time before saying somewhat distractedly, “We sure are, Wheeler.”

You only furrowed your brows in confusion, rolled your eyes and then left to find your own band.

---

“Whoever touches me next is losing their hand,” Meg grumbled as the four of you remained by the back wall. The space was so disgustingly compacted with people that you could not quite fathom why on earth Eddie had braved the crowd when he had been scheduled to perform straight after you.

Corroded Coffin had emerged onto the stage before you had made it to the audience, a deafening roar erupting from the crowd signifying their entrance. Eddie’s gaze found yours almost immediately upon your arrival, but whether it was because he expected you to linger in the back or because he had always seemed to possess the ability of drawing you to him, you weren’t quite sure. His eyes shone slightly brighter as his eyes locked onto yours, his lips spreading into a wide smile. You upturned the sides of your lips slightly in response and watched on as Eddie begun to set up his guitar.

“You look happy.” The sound of Robin’s voice so close to your ear startled you, and you turned to find her smirking devilishly at you.

“We played really well,” you tried to say nonchalantly.

“I take it your little talk with Munson went well then?”

You punched Robin lightly in the shoulder and she laughed in response. You were grateful when Eddie brushed his lips up to the microphone and greeted the crowd, if only because it saved you from what would have likely been a wholly uncomfortable conversation with a very prying girl.

“The song we’ve got for you tonight is another love song since I seem to be writing a lot of those lately.”

When you turned to look towards Eddie your breath hitched slightly in your throat. Because Eddie was already staring intently at you, and his gaze was so captivating—the brown of his eyes so tantalising even from so far away—that you found yourself frozen in place. “This one’s called She’s So Mean.”

You tried to stifle the bark of laughter that threatened to escape from the confines of your throat, but the smile that accompanied it was seemingly unstoppable as it spilled forth onto your lips. At the sight of it, Eddie’s own smile morphed into a toothy grin before he turned back to his band, offered them each a curt nod, and awaited Gareth’s count in.

The song seemed to be many things although different was the word that first sprung to mind. Corroded Coffin’s songs were loud; they were fast and powerful and always just a little bit unhinged. And yet lately it was as if they had taken a softer turn, as if they were no longer counting on a deafening beat to captivate a crowd, and the thought was surprisingly mature.

“I kn-kn-know a girl

She gets what she wants all the time

'cause she's fine.

But for an angel, she's a hot, hot mess

Make you so blind

But you don't mind.”

Although the song was not as fast paced nor as loud as you had expected it to be, it was just as good, and you felt both guilt and justification at the annoyance that ran through you because of this. Just like the last time they had performed, Eddie’s voice seemed to be at the forefront of the song. The rasp that it possessed managed to send a shiver down your spine, the imperfection of his voice just as perfect as it always was so that goosebumps began to line your skin.

“She’ll make you take her to the club, but then she leaves with her friends

She likes to stay late at the party cause the fun never ends

And all her clothes are on the floor, and all your records are scratched

She’s like a one-way ticket ‘cause you can’t come back.”

At the mention of the record, another bark of laughter rose within your throat, and this time you could not stop it as it spilled from your mouth. Robin turned to look at you with a slight furrow in her brows, but you paid her no mind as you raised one hand and flipped up your middle finger.

It was clear that the action caught Eddie off guard, for now he was stifling his own laugh as his fingers continued to dance across the strings of his guitar. He turned away for just a moment to compose himself before his lips were connecting with the microphone once more.

“Sayin’ yeah, and you want her

But she’s so mean.”

“You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?” Mike, Gareth and Jeff echoed.

You could feel Robin’s gaze lingering upon you now, and whilst you knew that she would question the wideness of your smile later when you had left the deafening crowd and she could annoy you until her heart was content, it was as if the happiness that your face was exuding couldn’t be stopped.

The song was building now, growing into something more familiar; into something louder and faster and slightly deranged.

“She’s got a wicked sense of humour, can’t believe what she says.”

It was nice listening to a song that had been written about you, even if it was written in a joking manner.

“And all you want is just to hold her, but she don’t go for that.

She has a hard time coming when she can’t hit back.”

It was nice in such a way that you thought you could get used it; going to Eddie’s shows and listening to his latest songs. It was an easy scene to imagine; maybe in a venue a bit bigger than the Hideout, a bigger crowd than he normally gathered. Maybe you’d be in Indianapolis, or maybe somewhere even bigger yet, and you would be standing in the front row whilst Eddie smiled down upon you as he played just as he was doing now. And when the show was done the two of you would leave together, maybe to get food or a milkshake or to simply do nothing at all but lay within each other’s arms on a couch or a bed just as you had done on that night back at his trailer.

It was so very easy to imagine, and that was the scariest part of all.

“Sayin’ yeah, and you want her

But she’s so mean.”

“You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?”

“Yeah, and you want her

But she’s so mean.”

“You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?”

You looked back up towards Eddie upon the stage, his face contorted in concentration, a bead of sweat dripping from his brow, and yet his lips still upturned into a smile. And it was almost as if you could feel it now; the weight of the decision you still had to make lingering on the back of your mind. On the one hand you knew it would be easy to forgive Eddie. He was kind and he was funny and he made you feel things you had not allowed yourself to feel in a very long time. He was boisterous and yet he was gentle and how attractive he looked on a stage—how attractive he looked in general, really—was wholeheartedly unfair.

But on the other hand, Eddie had lied, and he had continued to do so for weeks on end. His very first interactions with you had been a lie; a concoction of a half-thought out, stupid plan that had been developed by a fifteen-year-old. And yet they had felt real. The way he had spoken with you, the way he had made you laugh, the way he had touched you had all felt so very real that it was so easy to believe everything that Eddie had said in the video store. It was so very easy to consider putting your heart on the line again.

“Yeah, and you want her

Yeah, you want her

Yeah, I know how you want her, but she’s so mean.”

“You’ll never let her go, why don’t you let her go?”

The smile that he flashed you as the last notes of the song reverberated around the room had your heart fluttering in your chest.

“Fuck,” you groaned under breath, perfectly well aware of just how screwed you were. Because Eddie was smiling at his bandmates now, reaching out to ruffle Mike’s hair annoyingly and the sight made something warm erupt within your heart. So you turned to leave along with your bandmates, hoping that by getting away from the sight of Eddie Munson on a stage you might be able to tame your racing heart. But just as quickly as Eddie’s focus had left the crowd, he was returning to the microphone once more.

“Before we go,” Eddie called, and you could not quite stop the furrow in your brows as you turned back to look at him. Eddie’s gaze found yours once more, a devilish smile spreading across his lips. “We actually have one more song for you tonight.”

The crowd seemed as if it did not quite know what to think. Some cheered enthusiastically, others more half-hearted, and some remained silent altogether.

“Two songs?!” Meg exclaimed. “They aren’t allowed two songs!”

“We didn’t get two songs!” Vicki followed.

“For the other band competing tonight, don’t worry,” Eddie continued. “This one isn’t going towards our score.” And then the boy who had already successfully made your heart continue to race and your breathing begin to quicken from the heat in his stare had the audacity to wink at you. “But I bet you’re gonna wish it did.”

Now the crowd seemed to be waiting with bated breath, everyone just as confused as each other at this unexpected turn of events.

“If you remember our song from last week, you’ll remember that I dedicated it to a girl. Although it was plastered all over the article written about the comp so I’m sure all of you are up to date with my love life.”

The crowd laughed and you couldn’t help but smile.

“You’ll probably also remember how I said I fucked things up with this girl. I’m still working on getting her back. I hurt her, and there’s nothing I can do about that now but continue to apologise. But you see, I also embarrassed her as well, so I thought I could at least get even with her for that part. And what better way to do that than in front of a crowd full of strangers?”

Eddie was staring so intently at you now that it was almost easy to forget the room full of people that surrounded you. For just a moment it was simply you and Eddie, and the thought had your heart thundering in your chest.

“The first time I ever saw her play, she was singing an ABBA song, so I thought I’d bring it full circle.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, your eyes going wide as you shared a look of disbelief with Robin.

“This one’s Take a Chance on Me by ABBA.”

The beginning of the song was so very familiar.

“What is happening?” fell from your lips, mouth opened wide in shock.

“This is the best day of my life,” Robin breathed.

“If you change your mind

I’m the first in line.

Honey, I’m still free

Take a chance on me.”

You buried your head in your hands, unwilling to believe the sight that was unravelling before you. Eddie Munson singing ABBA on a stage was a preposterous thing. But Eddie Munson singing ABBA on a stage in front of people was the most outlandish, inconceivable, unbelievable thing that could be happening. So you rubbed at your eyes before you looked back up, quite sure that the world would return to normal and you would find Eddie and his band exiting the stage.

But their performance continued, somehow having grown even more unimaginable as Gareth, Mike and Jeff joined in, singing, “Take a chance, take a chance, t-take a chance-chance,” over and over again. Some of the crowd were laughing now, others dancing and singing along to the familiar song.

“If you’re all alone

When the pretty birds have flown

Honey, I’m still free

Take a chance on me.

Gonna do my very best

And it ain’t no lie

If you put me to the test

If you let me try.”

Eddie sung the last verse with so much conviction and with his eyes unwavering from yours that you felt almost like turning away. But you kept your gaze steady with his, fighting off the urge to upturn your lips. There was the cheekiness that was seemingly always lingering behind Eddie’s eyes, somehow almost ablaze now. There was his usual spark of life, and the sight of it returned after having seen it disappear for so long almost had you sighing in relief. But there was the hope as well, and where once it had been a small and feeble thing when you had glimpsed it in the dim light of the bathroom, now it seemed to almost consume the entirety of Eddie’s gaze.

“We can go dancing

We can go walking

As long as we’re together

Listen to some music

Maybe just talking

Get to know you better.”

Maybe it was the way that Eddie seemed to be having so much fun, his voice turning sultry and smooth for the verse as he smiled widely. Maybe it was the way he didn’t seem to care that he was singing an ABBA song in front of a crowd full of people, even though you had been quite certain up until that point that Eddie would sooner dance through the main strip of Hawkins naked before he ever did this. Or maybe it was the looks of pure mortification that consumed Mike, Gareth and Jeff as they played. Either way, the beginnings of a laugh started to bubble up in your throat, leaking onto your face first in the form of a smile that kept growing wider.

“Cause you know I’ve got

So much that I wanna do

When I dream I’m alone with you, it’s magic.”

Eddie accompanied the line with a wiggle of his brows, and although you wanted to roll your eyes and laugh it off, you felt a heat begin to grow somewhere low within you. He had practically growled the line, singing in an octave lower than the original so that his voice was deep and rough. A warmth spread across your cheeks, erupting onto your skin so quickly that you hoped Eddie couldn’t see it in the darkness of the space. But a smirk appeared across his lips anyway, and it had you wanting to turn away from him altogether in an attempt to compose yourself.

You tried your best to swallow the laugh that was so very close to escaping now, not wanting to give Eddie the satisfaction of achieving what he had wanted to with the song. So when Robin begun to laugh from beside you, her attempts at stifling it long since discarded with, you could not stop yourself from joining in with her, Meg and Vicki following suit on Robin’s other side. Eddie’s smile only grew wider as he looked upon you now.

“Let me tell you now

My love is strong enough

To last when things are rough, it’s magic.

You say that I waste my time

But I can’t get you off my mind, no, I can’t let go

‘Cause I love you so.”

There they were again; those three words that had haunted you since the video store. It had been easy to forget them, to push them to the back of your mind and tell yourself that you would deal with their existence later. But now, as Eddie repeated them, directing them so clearly at you as your gaze remained captivated within his, they weren’t so easy to ignore.

He had said them; he had spoken them into existence that day at the video store when you had hidden from him and when Eddie had found you anyway. And now he was saying them again without hesitation this time, with a smile upon his face, in front of a crowd full of people, and it only made the words all the more terrifying.

But then there was Robin beside you, who had now decided to join in with the song, screaming the lyrics at the top of her lungs, and the sight was so unexpected and somehow even more bizarre that you found yourself laughing once more. And then the four of you were singing together, Robin grabbing your hand to spin you around her in whatever semblance of dancing you could do within the limited space.

Occasionally, when you glanced back up to Eddie upon the stage you would always find him watching you, a soft smile on his lips as his fingers danced fluidly across each string. And maybe if you allowed yourself to smile back once or twice, the hope only growing behind his eyes, you could not quite bring yourself to regret it.

---

Songs Used:

- Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson

- She's So Mean by Matchbox Twenty

- Take A Chance On Me by ABBA

---

Main Taglist:

@alicetweven​ @juggernort @theh3aven​ @manamitoyota​ @mimiluvsualot​ @cherrypieyourface​ @kaqua​ @c0untryclub​ @goldencherriess​ @emotionaldreamer​ @givemethesleep​ @milkiane​ @miscreantsnopossoms​ @legendaryfestsoul-blog​

Series Taglist

@grungegrrrl​ @thirddeadlysin​ @boomitsallie1​ @renaroo123​ @wordsthatwaterflowersinyoursoul​ @annnnn91​ @bakugouswh0r3​ @aivilovio​ @wannabewiedzma​ @edsforehead​