#i spent forever writing this out

[mattodore]

birthday boy 🎂

[genericpuff]

vent post

[sallytwo]

Jennifer nearly jumped into the water / and she was tired like no one's ever been tired

[leconcombrerit]

A warm hug to Non, or when are we going to stop demanding perfection from victims

It's been forever since I thought about making this post but I've finally decided to write the goddamn thing.

Three disclaimers : one, I haven't yet managed to get past the first third of episode 9, so this whole thing is based on episodes 1-8 at best. Two, I'll block on sight again if I see victim blaming on this post. Finally, I'm by no means an expert on the subject. It's complex, I might get things wrong and I'll have to oversimplify at times for clarity and brevity's sake, please don't kill me for it. It's probably gonna be long enough as it is. I've tried my best to organize my thoughts in a way that would make sense, but. Well. I hope it does.

Trigger warning for mention of suicide, bullying, grooming, sexual assault, rape

Non started as the poor little baby everyone wanted to protect -both the audience and Jin ; for all the shit he got after filming Non and Keng, there are a lot of parallels to draw between him and the audience. Then the dreaded episode 7 happened and all hell broke loose. I won't include screenshots of the disgusting things I read from some viewers about Non, but Jin's reaction is pretty telling already.

The easy explanation would be that he's mad Non isn't returning his feelings, but I think it has more to do with Non not fitting his 'good victim' role anymore. There's sadness on his face, but the dominants are anger and betrayal. Non tries to regain agency and gets crucified for it.

So what's a good victim ?

Non, basically

If you want an examplary blueprint of what society defines as a good victim and survivor, someone worth justice, defending and loving, just take a look at Non. I broke it down in four marks that need to be checked :

-Innocence : none of the person's action prompted the abuse -Moral high ground : the person has values and displays kindness -Helplessness : the person cannot do anything about the situation they're stuck in -Accepting to be saved : self-explanatory. The person has to accept the help that's offered to them, traditionally by a love interest

Non is abused for being poor, something he's not responsible for. He's hardworking, honest, passionate about the things he loves and commits to his engagements. He's kind when talking with Jin. He's resilient in the face of the gang's bullying. None of what he could do or say would make it stop, neither can he help owing Por for a camera he hasn't broken nor get out of Tee's pyramid scheme. His mental illness only increases this impression of vulnerability. Jin doesn't have all these elements, but he's got more than enough to paint a very similar picture of Non as the audience.

As for accepting help, Jin repeatedly offers some -and Non finally lets him in during their conversation on the rooftop. What Jin offers may be little but it's still help ; Non smiles and even gives Jin a shove -what I think is the only time he initiates contact with Jin at all.

"Thank you so much, Jin, for helping me all along." "It's alright, I'm glad to. I just want to see you smile again, Non."

The audience gets even more of Non being happy and grateful to be saved : he calls his "♥" contact for help multiple times, smiles at the reminder to take his meds and, later on, clings to Phee for dear life after trying to kill himself. He doesn't fight him, he doesn't reach for the scattered pills. Hell, even accepting Tee's offer to make money could count as Non agreeing to be saved by everyone around him.

Non checks all the marks. Everyone in the audience is rooting for him, the other boys can all go get impaled on a branch, and Jin looks at him like he hung and lit all the stars in the sky.

Speaking of the other boys...

Tee and Por victims as well but don't get the same amount of sympathy, if any. Tee isn't responsible for being stuck in a criminal environment and can't get out of it ; no one has offered help, so he gets a pass. But he's been shown to be selfish, opportunist, often cowardly and sometimes gratuitously cruel.

As for Por, it's even worse : every actions he takes seems to confirm his dad's opinion of him. The only mark he ticks is accepting to be saved by his mother, which looks very bad taken on its own. I made a post about Por not too long ago if you want more.

The only way for them to redeem themselves and go from 'horrible people who should die' to 'maybe they don't suck they're my poor little meow meows' is penitence. Take Por ; he's the archetype of the rich son who gets abused by his dad and suffers from having so much money. Just like Kang in Dangerous Romance, or Tanthai in Laws of Attraction. Tee ? I don't have names from the top of my head, but he's that hardened jaded guy stuck in a mafiosi network who has to learn to love and be loved again (enters White). Yet the audience learnt to root for these characters.

Basically, nothing is set in stone. Your status as a good or bad victim can shift depending on your actions and the way they're framed. The usual narrative is to get those characters to grow into the acceptable victim pattern. DFF however is going for reverse development (Non, Jin) or stagnation (Por, Tee, Fluke). It makes for gritty yet very realistic storylines ; and while I'm the first to yell that the masked figures should get their ass stat, I also recognize that there's much more complexity to them than this. Except Top. I have yet to come up with a good explanation for what they're doing with Top, but I will at some point.

How did Non fall from grace if he's such a good example ?

Three points : Phee, the paradox of the demand for Non to seek agency but not too much, and his inacceptable betrayal.

Phee as a magnifying factor

I love this kid to bits but Phee's appearance in the flashbacks concurs with Non's flawless image being torn to shreds for a reason. He's a good, strong and caring person who loves and tries to protect Non -something the audience has wanted to do for weeks ; so we all gathered behind Phee and made him our emissary, carrying out the impossible task outsiders to the series' world couldn't : saving Non.

Since Phee voices the questions and concerns of the audience, we are Phee to an extent. Betraying Phee means betraying the hope and love and care the audience has for Non. Phee is the series' moral compass by that point. I'm sure you see where I'm going with this. If not, consider it's a surprise tool that will help us later. When Phee gets hurt by Non or decides he'd be better off lost and dead.

For the record, in this poll Phee gets even fewer votes than White

Seek agency, but not too much

Discontent starts to rise with the helplessness point first as viewers start to question why Non doesn't ditch the group. Why he's putting himself through such trouble. Non changes from being subjected to others' action to being the subject in a grammatical sense. Yet Non has hiw own reasons to stay (how much does the movie mean to him ? How many hours and sleepless nights on the script ? How long would it take for him to find another chance to get enough funding ? How big of a dream is it for him ?). It's the first occurence of the audience claiming to know best what's good for Non.

Complaints quiet down when Non does try to leave for good only to be stopped by Jin. We saw him try, we saw him fail, he really couldn't leave so he's off the hook.

Jin also makes sure Non remains a perfect victim by bringing him back into the group. I'm not accusing Jin of trying to make Non suffer on purpose ; he's a good guy at heart, come fight me to death on this hill. But the only way for him to exist in Non's life is to remain a savior of sorts. If Non leaves, there's nothing to save him from. Which brings us to my next point.

Non must try to solve things by himself, sure. But not too much. Because when you thrash to regain control of your life, you might break a few things in the process. Especially if you have to wrest it away from well-intentioned but firm hands.

He rejected Jin's offers to help numerous times. He looked anything but thrilled when Phee put himself in danger to clear his name. He refused to change schools at first, only to begrudgingly agree when Phee insisted. This insistence is the heart of the matter : Phee is sure he knows best, so he bulldozes through Non's objections and hesitation : he doesn't consult him before asking his dad for help, he speaks in his place when Non doesn't answer his proposal, he puts the bracelet on his wrist. He asks him if he's taken his meds, just in case.

Phee has the audience's benediction in doing so. Part of it stems from our knowledge of future events : we know it's going to end bad for Non. We know he has to get the fuck out. We know whatever decision he makes will be a bad one. Kids and teenagers as a whole are often deemed unable, or not mature enough to make informed decisions anyway. Just look at Non's mother telling him to prioritize his studies so he can go abroad like his brother. Multiply it tenfold for people with mental illnesses ; they get babied on a daily basis. So Non cannot, I can't emphasize it enough, cannot do anything.

All of the above end with Phee getting his way. Non can't win against him, so he chooses to lie instead.

Aside from willing to be in charge of his own life, Non's refusal to let Phee help is also rooted in love and fear. While Phee would offer him an easy way out as he did for the bank accounts, it would most likely only be easy for Non and put Phee in danger. Both their survivals are held in that curt 'no'.

He's already straight up refused help, and now he loses the moral highground by lying (to his perfect holy savior Phee of all people). From here on out, any action he takes will be his -which is what Non wanted ; it's his life, and he won't be a bystander in it. But it also means that he jumped off the pedestal he'd been put on to land on thin ice.

And guess what, Non is a multi-dimentional character in a difficult situation who weighs more than a poor little damsel in distress. Of course said ice cracks. And the Non hate train gets started.

The betrayal

Lying and refusing help to go get it from the worst place he could have had was bad enough. But sleeping with his teacher while he had a boyfriend (Phee, for heaven's sake) ? Unforgivable. Cheating is the BL equivalent of every cardinal sin, the worst of the worst, and no matter the circumstances you'll get roasted for it.

And yet there are circumstances. One, especially, and it's called motherfucking grooming. I won't elaborate on this point cause I've done it over and over already, but Non was groomed by an adult. Does he see things that way ? Probably not. In his mind he's in control of the situation. He can lie to Phee about it because there's no reason for it to backfire. He does what he has to if he wants to save himself, using he one weapon he has : his body. It's cheating, but cheating in a game rigged for you to lose.

Society has two opinions about sex. It's either holy or gross. Take Jin, for instance.

See the look on his face. He's heartbroken, he's sad, he'll live through it. Witnessing Non having sex with his teacher when he has a boyfriend ? Now that's another story. That's a betrayal.

A betrayal of what, exactly ?

Of this goddamn image Jin had painted of Non. The same the audience was given to see prior to these events : Non was perfect and loveable and worth defending, an innocent, pure, helpless baby in need of saving. So when the illusion shatters in what society and especially BL culture hold as the worst action possible, people feel fooled. Stupid, if you will. And they turn their hatred to Non. Non lied to us ! He pretended to be good, dear god, to think I loved such filth ! My heart is so dirty now, ew.

But Non didn't lie. He lied to Phee, but that's it. Everything else was expectations and assumptions. Fail to meet them and suddenly everything is your fault. It's Non's fault for refusing to be dragged along in his own life anymore, Non's fault for lying in order to get some control, Non's fault for lying again not to lose Phee when caught by surprise, Non's fault for listening to Jin, Non's fault for resorting to use his only weapon to get out of a situation he was cornered in, Non's fault for being tricked into thinking any of the decisions he made regarding Keng were his own, Non's fault for everything.

He wanted to claim his life back and made a mistake, yes. He doubled-down on it when he realized it was too much for him to handle. He clung to it and did his best to keep it together. He dared not to be the perfect victim he was supposed to be ; to try when everyone knew he was bound to fail. And you know what, sometimes there's stuff that's someone's fault, consequences they didn't foresee, things they said, slips and falls, and they're still victims, just as much as they were before.

I believe that dealing with his debt himself is as important to Non as finishing the movie is. He's ready to be used and abused (by Keng in the former, the group for the latter) and to break his own heart, values, pride and sanity. He's the most resilient and dedicated character in the show to me.

But the world doesn't necessarily see it that way. So when Non realizes the mess he's made of everything, he fights Keng (who represents his desperate and violent search for complete independence) to reach for the bracelet he got from Phee. He wants help. He needs it. But he's not a victim anymore and any help is denied.

Both Phee and Jin later manage to reconcile their broken image of Non with the man he actually is. Too late to save him, but they still did. I have a hunch that things would have been different if Phee had beat up Keng and taken a crying Non in his arms, holding him tight while whispering none of it was his fault. But our moral compass fucked up, like the hurt kid he is.

What some people did by blaming and hating on Non is closer to the hateful comments he got on the video than Phee or Jin's reactions. They're far worse.

That's the big takeout. What if we stopped stigmatizing or idealizing sex ? What if we stopped demanding perfection and so-called purity for someone's trauma and status as a human being not to be negated ?

Anyway, here's a hug to Non and every victim who live in the paralyzing fear of a single slip. You can make mistakes just like the rest of us. You don't owe anyone perfection.

I'll end this rant on a bright, happy smile. I don't see a good ending for Non, but god knows he'd deserve it.

[burstfoot]

♫ SILVER AND GOLD ♫ WON'T SAVE MY ROTTING SOUL ♫

[elialys]

She’d been a whirlwind in his neatly structured life, a burst of colours in a rather bleak landscape; the best friend he never knew he was always meant to have, until he was pouring his heart out to her, and she just held him tighter.

Splintered

(Helen x Dale, post-season 2)

[rewritingcanon]

hello everybody i am back with another epic fanfic drop for @marauderswithpalestineproject. this one is andromeda-centric, with heavy focus on her relationship with her sisters, ted as a contrast, and her mother who is also doomed by the narrative (spoiler! everyone in the fic kinda is!). it’s mostly canon compliant (i think i accidentally messed up the birthdays for some of the characters… whoopsie..) and will eventually feature baby nymphadora as a treat for 25k words of angst. mwah mwah check it out if you want to maybe!!

[thedeerman]

hey chat not gonna lie, the fact that i decided to post DYWTK chapters twice a week means that i've already written like three fucking weeks of content and I am so fucking impatient guys. Im so impatient. so uh, yeah. I might be upping that to three chapters a week for my own sanity lmao

[jujumin-translates]

★ Main Story | Act 13 - Budding Spring | Chapter 19 - First-Year Office Worker

Company Employee A: Those intern kids are coming in today, right? Apparently, one of them is the son of the company’s president.

Company Employee B: What’s he like?

Company Employee C: I heard he’s an actor at a theater company.

Company Employee A: Well, if he’s interning, does that mean he’s looking for an actual job?

Company Employee B: Maybe he’s an unsuccessful actor.

Company Employee C: Yeah, well, he’s just a nepobaby, so we probably shouldn’t expect much from him.

*Knock on door and door opens*

Masumi: Good morning.

Company Employee A: --G-Good morning.

Masumi: I’m Masumi Usui, I’ll be a new intern starting today.

Masumi: I may be a bit of an inconvenience at times, but I will appreciate any guidance and encouragement you may have for me. I look forward to working with you.

Company Employee B: L-Likewise.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Flashback*

Masumi: A suit? Too stiff, not wearing one.

Itaru: It’s better if you do this sorta thing right on your first day. You don’t wanna self-debuff by wearing the wrong armor to your first encounter.

Chikage: If you don’t have a suit, I can buy you one from the place I usually get mine.

Masumi: I have one, but…

Izumi: A suit, huh~. They really do make a person look more mature in an instant.

Masumi: I’ll wear one every day. And I’ll have breakfast at the dorms before I go.

Tsuzuru: I thought we literally all just agreed that it’d be a quicker commute to the office if you stayed in the company dorms.

Izumi: There’s no point in you coming back to MANKAI’s dorms every single morning.

Chikage: You’ll have to get some dress shirts and ties too.

Itaru: I think I’ll leave this sorta thing to our veteran office worker.

Masumi: …Whatever.

*Flashback end*

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Company Employee D: That’s all for the explanation of both the industry and our company. From here, we’ll move on to group work--.

Company Employee D: To give you a basic understanding of what promotion is, we’ll have you experience everything from planning to presenting.

Company Employee D: Here we have created a fictitious company with a specific problem.

Company Employee D: Using this as a reference, each team will come up with a plan to solve the company’s problem and then propose said plan in a presentation.

Company Employee E: If there’s anything you don’t understand, feel free to ask questions.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Masumi: …And that’s why these data results suggest that this could be an effective way of solving the company’s issues.

Masumi: Finally, does anyone have any questions for me?

Masumi: If not, I would like to conclude here. I hope you’ll consider my proposal.

Masumi: I thank you all very much for your time today.

Company Employee F: W-Whoa… he’s one hell of an actor… He’s so dignified. And really persuasive too.

Company Employee E: He cleans up nicely wearing that suit and he’s got a different kind of mindset than your typical “I’m-going-to-one-day-take-over-the-company” kind of guy.

Company Employee D: He’s the kind of guy I wish I had coming with me to my presentation this afternoon…

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Masumi: I’m finished.

Company Employee E: Huh, already? Did you read through them all?

Masumi: I’ve also compiled everything into a rough report.

Company Employee E: …Well then, are you able to use this software? Next, you can put that in a document using that.

Company Employee E: You can take your lunch break once you’re done with that.

Masumi: Understood.

Masumi: …

*Typing*

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Masumi: …Phew.

Masumi: (Now to confirm with… Oh, they’re in a meeting now. I’ll do it later. I should be allowed to take a break now that I’m done, right?)

Masumi: (I guess while I’m at it, I’ll put together a list of promotional methods that could be used for the troupe and ask whatever questions I can.)

Masumi: (It’s interesting to study promotion like this again. I get why Director and Sakyo do it.)

Masumi: (I wonder if all the other theater companies are thinking of different ways to spread the word about the stuff they’re doing.)

Masumi: (It’s like I knew all of this existed, but I never really was aware of it. It’s the exact same world of theater, but I feel like I’m seeing it in an entirely new way.)

Masumi: (Ah, right…)

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Curry has entered the chat.

Masumi: (No one’s here… I kind of hate having to be the first one, but whatever…)

Curry: thanks for the suit

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

[no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist]

The way Chloe Gong pulls off fake deaths the way she does is an amazing testament to her skill as an author.

Usually fake deaths cheapen the blow of losing a character. You have to go through all of the emotional turmoil of losing a beloved character and watch everyone mourn them only for everything to be okay because actually they were kind of integral to the plot and the author needs them but also they also wanted to make the book sad for a little bit but hey everything is okay now!

But Chloe Gong doesn't do this. She gets you invested in what you usually know from the start is a doomed story. She makes you very desperately want to believe that the character that you know is going to die won't die. And then. She kills them.

And it's horrible. You mourn for them. You have to watch the other characters react to the death. But most of the time, it's a fake death. And even if you know or suspect this from the beginning, it still hurts, often just as much, if not more, than it would if the death were real.

And not just because of the way she writes grief, which gets more and more painful with each new book she releases. But instead of killing off a character for a quick gut punch and bringing them back because they were actually way too important to kill and she needs them for the plot, she uses fake deaths to create these absolutely insane scenarios that are often, at least in my opinion, more painful then just killing off the character.

When Marshall fake died, for example, she could've just had him die and forced Juliette to deal with the grief and guilt of killing her friend as well as the implications of Marshall's death for her relationship with Roma plus everyone else's grief and then created a weird situation where Roma can just,,, get over her killing Marshall and still like her. Instead, she creates this absolutely insane situation where Juliette is still grieving for the loss of her relationship with Roma, and Roma and Ben are grieving for Marshall all with Marshall still being alive. And rather than just using Marshall as a plot device to be sacrificed to make the other characters more interesting, she makes him more interesting as well. She forces him to watch as Benedikt and Roma grieve for him, making his relationship with both of them, as well as Juliette more interesting in the process.

And then when Roma and Juliette fake died at the end of OVE, even if you suspected it, it being fake doesn't take away from the pain very much, especially knowing what happens in Foul Lady Fortune. Alisa, whose only real family was arguably Roma and Benedikt, is left behind to raise herself and she is too afraid to check to see if Roma and Juliette are really dead. Because if they are dead, then she's truly alone, clinging onto the false belief that hope won out while everything she ever knew disintegrates around her. Plus, even though Benedikt and Marshall figure out pretty quickly that the death was fake, they're still forced to cope with the grief and guilt of having had a hand in the situation and forced to flee the country with only each other, thrust into a world where their best friends are dead and the hope that they are relying on to get themselves away from everything is based on the same sense of hope that ultimately lead to the "deaths" of Roma and Juliette. And then there's the cruelty of the sense of responsibility Rosalind feels for their deaths. And how after they died, she became deathly ill, but like them, was inexplicably saved. But she can't move on from their deaths and spends every waking hour and every unsleeping night of her immortal life trying to put the broken world they left behind back together. And Celia sees Alisa and Rosalind regularly. As she watches two people who she cares about immensely suffer for years after the deaths occurred, she can't say anything. Even though her first loyalty is to her sister, she's forced to watch Rosalind grieve and become a ghost of a person who seems to derive purpose solely from the pursuit of an impossible mission. And Roma and Juliette, who so deeply wanted to make the city better are forced to watch as things get worse and worse and the people that they seemingly sacrificed everything to save continue to suffer.

In Foul Lady Fortune, the fake deaths are a little different. So far, the only characters who have fake died are Dao Feng and Lady Hong, the later of which falls into this trope a bit more loosely. In Dao Feng's case, it leads to worry then betrayal on Rosalind's part. Her worry was all for nothing, and she's once again put in a place where one of the few people she dared to care about has left her and likely never truly cared about her in return (at least as of the end of FLF). Assuming that he did genuinely care about her based on As You Like It, I am very interested to see how this ends up playing out.

Lady Hong's case is somewhat similar. Although we never really think with absolute certainty that Lady Hong died, Orion suspects that his father could have done something to her and has no concrete explanation for her disappearance. He grieves her absence even though her relationship with him was always iffy at best. Only to find out that she never cared for him as anything other than a tool for her to take advantage of. Like Rosalind, he is left feeling used and as if all of his grief and pain were for nothing.

(Hiding the part below this because of huge Immortal Longings spoilers)

In Immortal Longings, you know that either Calla or Anton is going to have to die at the end because of the structure of the games. And as their relationship progresses, you dread the resolution more and more. You want a fake death. You want them to find some hole in the rules that will allow them both to survive. And Calla comes up with a plan that allows this. She gives you false hope. She lets you cling to the idea that the horrible ending you can so clearly see coming won't happen. And then that hope is snatched away, and you're even closer to the ending. And you know what's coming. You know that Anton has to die. And then the final crumb of hope is snatched away from you and they're in the ring together. And just when it's too late, Anton tells Calla that they could run for the wall together. He's finally willing to set aside Otta Avia, without who they wouldn't even be there in the first place. But it's too late. Because this is bigger than either of them. And Calla knows that she has to kill him. And she sinks her knife into his back in some of the most excruciating paragraphs I have read in my life. You see Anton realize that although he was willing to make a run for it with her, she has bigger plans. She isn't doing him a kindness by killing him first, and even though she may be planning on ending her own life as well soon, she cares more about killing King Kasa than she ever did about him. So when, at the very end, it is revealed that Anton somehow survived, it's somehow a million times worse than if he had actually died. Even though you so desperately wanted the book to not end in on or both of them dying, this isn't what you wanted. Now, he's alive and remembers just how willing she was to sink a knife through his back. And Calla must grieve for him all over again because even though he's alive, she surely can never truly have him back after what she did.

In conclusion, Chloe Gong is a legend and a genius. Thank you for coming to my tedtalk I guess.

[moe-broey]

Smartass guy with a flat affect vs guy who almost always sounds like it's joking and likes to play dumb. Neither immune to the urge to over-explain themselves in earnest. Fight.

And now I'M gonna over-explain myself 😤😤😤😤😤 Because this piece captures like. Some headcanons of mine that are so precious to me, and SO much. Of the Moefonse dynamic and friendship... the heart of how their back and forths work.

But first close-ups/text descriptions for easier reading!

From the very start, Alfonse is playing. That's his intention. To say something he knows will get a good response out of Moe. But his delivery is either too dry and flat or too genuine. He's extremely subtle, and his humor doesn't tend to land because of that.

Meanwhile, Moe can be unaware... generally. But just as much, if not more, it's deeply attentive towards the things it cares about. It takes these things SO seriously. Moe... really hates being misunderstood. It struggles with empathy, and its sense of compassion is entirely self-centered. Which seems unrelated, but all of these things contribute to it making a joke, and then feeling a need to immediately explain the joke. Just to make sure we're all on the same page, here. Nobody is left out.

So just. Joke (passed!) + Joke (also passed!) into Joke (passed, carrying on the bit), into Worry (Joke check: failed.) into Worry/Reassurance (You're my dear friend and I love you. No need to worry) into Understanding/Reassurance (yeah that WAS funny). Which, as a side, really flatters Alfonse... that's not something he gets often. He gets it A Lot from Moe though LMFAO

AND ... FINALLY..... FINAL TIDBIT OF CHARACTERIZATION

This doodle was closer to what the final panel was supposed to be (under the thought bubble), but I got distracted and forgor..... but it has essential characterization.... honestly both drawings do. So it's fine LMFAOOO

But it is So important. That neither of them are acting on their feelings. And it is sooooo important. That they're extremely verbally affectionate with each other anyway. And it all comes full circle, to the top caption. Moe sounds like it's joking here. But it is SO genuine. Also Moe might as well have said "I want you, like carnally" with that. Endlessly ambiguous guy. And for better or worse, Alfonse is built the Exact Same Way. 🧍

Oh yeah and. The. Posts. That inspired this LMFAOOO

They're both doing this. Btw.

[amoneki-ramblings]

hngh. okay first rant post I just think amoneki is so insane especially for how much they care and respect for each other right up until the very end like???

okay first of all there's obviously the way that they outright say (even if it's not directly to each other) that they don't want the other to die

Also the fact that Amon tells Kaneki to take a Break. In the middle of a fight. (Which also adds him to the pool of characters that are trying to tell Kaneki to tell him to just let himself rest for once (who he does Not listen to))

Also the fact that when Kaneki deals his first (and only) potentially fatal blow to Amon Ever, instead of feeling betrayed by the fact that he was trying to avoid attacking him before or thinking "Oh so this is where he finally tries to actually kill me" Amon just calls Kaneki strong. He Cut Off His Arm and Amon's first thought is just to say that he thinks he's strong, even if this should technically be a sort of betrayal to all their previous encounters and a Contradiction to what Amon observed at the beginning of this fight about how Kaneki really wasn't planning on killing him (it's like even though this happened he knows deep down that it wasn't with a real killing Intent).

He doesn't even think about himself or that he might Actually Die he's just thinking about Kaneki even right then and afterwards

(ohhh my god I hate Amon (/affecionate) I have so many Thoughts about him especially thoughts Specifically about how he has a sort of idealized version of Kaneki in his head from the few times they've interacted I could talk about it for Hours (but then I'm gonna be here for ages and I will get So off track) )

And it's also about the fact that. In his final thoughts/words in tg Kaneki opens up with Amon's words; these are his words that have been stuck in his head ever since he first heard them and they are some of the last words he clings to before he's "erased". (When I first saw that line near the opening of the final chapter I almost lost my Shit) Like,

It's about how even up until the end they're thinking about what they said to each other at that first encounter by the river

It's about how much impact they've had and Continue to have on each other even when they're basically Dying (and it's partially the others' fault)

It's about the actually Insane amount of parallels and the flipping of their situations between their first encounter and their last (in the original series)

It's about how neither of them deal the killing blow in an "unfair" fight (when the other is basically disarmed) but once they're on equal grounds that's the closest they've come to Actually killing the other and even then they don't want that to Actually happen and both hold onto that same thought

It's about how the natural thing would be for them to just fight and/or kill the other without a thought but they don't because "This guy's Different"

Enemies to It's Complicated. Enemies to you-have-impacted-my-worldview-in-irreversible-ways-and-I-wish-I-could-just-sit-down-and-talk-with-you-but-can't

Enemies to I-should-hate-you-because-you-(technically indirectly)-caused-the-death-of-someone-I-cared-about-but-also-your-words-won't-leave-my-head-and-I-want-to-know-more-about-you-also-I-don't-want-to-kill-you-but-you're-not-leaving-me-much-choice

Amoneki divorce has me so fucked up

[qulizalfos]

anybody else feeling horrendously burnt out on this lovely monday evening

[compacflt]

I am sad for your 'the end of the top gun era' that will come. Is there any possibility that even when you finish with all your ideas, someday you will still write icemav? Or are you done shipping icemav after everything is said?

i will never stop shipping or caring about icemav, they are my homeboys & my bffs

i just have other real world writing obligations i need to focus on once i post my extras (soon) 😞 have to start dedicating myself to my creative writing thesis & journalism work fully

Yeah if i have other ideas/motivation to finish old ideas i will definitely do that! It’s not goodbye forever

[helpmyinterestsareverywhere]

I made my Ninjago OC in HeroForge the other day :3

It's a little bit of a mish-mash of different eras of her throughout the show

Her gi is what I'd think she'd wear from Season 11 until they finally chnage their gi's properly (not just adding armour over it or whatever) in like Seabound? I think?

While her horns & tail come along during Dragon's Rising - in-between S1P1 & S1P2 (which is when she meets back up with the Ninja/would be introduced back into the show) - The reason that they're pink (like her staff) is because they're all made up of her element! They aren't "real", like she didn't grow them or anything & doesn't have any dragon DNA. They /technically/ make an appearance before DR BUT they aren't permanent or anything (happen due to some overuse of powers don't worry about it). In DR they came about because of a surge of elemental power to do with the Source Dragon's (a whole thing again dw about it) & they stay this time.

Isn't she just the cutest 🤩