#i sniffed belial's perfume to write crewel's scene and my mind expanded

[mobagehelllocal]

“do you even lift bro?” ver ii - dire, divus, ashton

The previous ask you did for me was so hilarious! If you're up for it then can i request the same for Divus, Ashton and Crowley this time? The reader doesn't necessarily have to be their student she can be their co-worker. Thanks anyway:) -- from @blackstrawberrynightmare

A/N: Ah! Hello again! We should all thank @blackstrawberrynightmare who actually prompted the creation of this “do you even lift bro?” series! I’m genuinely surprised how popular my version of the “bridal carry” is! I just... tried to be funny. I don’t think I am funny though?? xD  

For this one, I originally wanted to push for a very neutral reader so you couldn’t tell if it was a student or a teacher... but then I found it really funny how a teacher would react to being thrown into Twisted Wonderland... Also slight nsfw because Divus. (I was thirsty, I have no excuse.) ALSO! This one doesn’t have images because the teachers don’t appear in the manga... smh...

other versions: ver i (dorm leaders), ver ii (this), ver iii (leech twins, jamil, epel, rook, lilia)

--

When you first came to Twisted Wonderland--you were, at first, some glorified errand girl.

Which, to be fair, as someone who didn’t possess magic, totally made sense.

Then Grim got into an argument with Ace. They burnt a statue, Dire punished them (including you, at which point you felt like you had gone back to high school). Then Deuce happened, the chandelier got ruined, you were about to all get expelled (but you weren’t enrolled anyways? You would’ve refused that?). So you all high tail it to that magical cave, found a magic crystal and--

“Absolutely not.” you put your foot down. “I am an adult woman, and I refuse to go back to high school... or whatever this is. I don’t mind being an errand girl, but I refuse to be a student again.” 

“But--” Grim protested, but your sharp glare made him flinch--and so did the ADeuce combo. They had seen you get furious before, and it was a lecture they wouldn’t want to repeat.

At that, Dire Crowley sighed in response.

“Well, what do you propose you do?” 

You paused, you hadn’t expected the guy to listen to you. After all, he hadn’t let you get a word in since you got here anyways. 

“Maybe... a teacher’s assistant job?” 

--

“Or a secretary.” you offered. 

He didn’t look convinced, so you decided to pull out your secret weapon.

"Imagine this Dire,” you had said, purposely using his name to get a point across--that you aren’t a child. “I can handle paperwork as long as magic isn’t involved.”

“Then you’re hired.” he immediately decided, to the gasps of the students in the office with you. You only smirked triumphantly.

So it seemed that hate for paperwork persisted across universes.

“Then what about me?” Dire peered at Grim through his mask. 

“Well then, I suppose you can still sit in lectures provided, that you do your work well.” 

So here you were, months later, as you followed him around like the dutiful secretary you were.

Dire was... a little air headed at times, but he mostly meant well. ‘Mostly’ because he often got you to take care of everything he couldn’t (didn’t want to) do. He did his best to be interactive and friendly with his students--which you could say was far better than most academic institutions back in your world. He was a person who was willing to listen, as long as you managed to keep him calm and tell him to pay attention.

But other than that--

‘He’s really like a bird’ you thought, as he fluttered about and inspected the mirrors. 

“We’re done here.” He finally said, then turned to you. 

His yellow eyes always felt as if they were staring deep into your soul, and you barely controlled a shudder at the way they glowed--before you looked down at the schedule in your hands.

“We’re going to double check the maintenance on going at the stadium,” you reported, he sighed a little.

“Oh how generous I am, to look into all these details so carefully...” he mourned, “yet there is no rest for someone as generous as I--”

“Sir, it’s your job.” 

He proceeded to ignore you while he whined to himself. You could feel your sweat drop in response.

“You do have a break after this.” 

He instantly cheered up on that.

“No, it’s not long enough to suntan in the Southern Islands.” you said, used to his moods. “but if we don’t carry on right now, you will never get a break.” 

“Oh very well,” he sniffed, “I shall attend to this matter... because I am ever so generous.”

You rolled your eyes.

Once you had gotten to the stadium, Dire easily handled and fielded all the questions that were directed to him by the maintenance staff. As he finished speaking to the staff, he turned to you with a pointed look, and wide gold eyes.

“Oh, alright--” you had barely gotten the word out when you heard a snap from somewhere above, and a yell. You only got a brief glimpse, before you grabbed Dire (at which he let out a very undignified yelp) and darted out of the way as fast as you could. A long, metal beam fell in the spot you were originally in, and set up dust in the air. This makes both you and Dire cough, but you’re glad that you had managed to dodge it in time.

“Dire, are you okay?”

“I am fine,” he wheezed, a hand over his chest before he turned to you. You pulled your head back just in time to make sure his mask doesn’t poke your eyes out. “I--what--how are you carrying me?” he said, his voice shrill. 

“It’s always been something I can do.” you shrugged, he was actually a pretty light guy--mask, coat and top hat included. 

“I could’ve used magic.” 

“Adrenaline rush?” you offered. “I just knew I had to move us as fast as possible.”

Dire stared at you with those unflinching yellow eyes, and you began to twitch nervously. You hated how it almost always feels like he never blinks... or something.

“Does this mean you could carry me to places this whole time--” 

“--! You’re seriously going with that?” you complained, as you fell onto your knees, the adrenaline rush having left you. He squeaked in surprise at the sudden drop, but he does look at you with concern.

“Are you alright?” there was a worried tone in his voice and you nodded.

“Give me a moment.” He nodded slowly, and he reached a hand to rub at your back, which helped steady your breathing. You tried not to look at him, as you knew you’d be faced with that unnerving stare of his. 

It always felt like it was trying to figure you out--understand you--as if you’re some great mystery, when you feel like an open book.

“Why don’t you take a time off today?” Dire suddenly said.

“What?” You looked up to shoot him a look. “You’ll use it to slack!”

“Absolutely not.” he sounded offended. “I take my job very seriously.” 

“Then I’ll take my job seriously.” 

“You do not seem fine.” Dire insisted, yellow eyes fixed upon your own. “Since you graciously saved me, I shall graciously allow you to have some time off, dear secretary--because I am super duper gracious after all.” 

You rolled your eyes, but you laced your fingers together to stop your shaking.

Dire was...

kind. Actually pretty empathetic and sensitive--but he just sometimes chose not to intervene. If he pushed you for a break then he must be pretty serious.

“Alright.”At your response, his eyes became two curved lines.

‘Sometimes I really don’t understand you.’ you think, baffled.

“Excellent! I want my amazing secretary all healthy and well by tomorrow, alright?” 

“Sure.” you eyed him. 

‘One day, I’ll truly understand you.’ you vowed to yourself, quiet but determined.  

--

When Dire had left you in the care of Divus, you couldn’t help but want to both thank and curse the man. 

You were thankful you had gotten Divus because he was a pretty respectful person--the use of a teacher’s baton with a collar hanging off it notwithstanding--and he was certainly more aware of what you needed as a woman. It was easier to communicate to him your basic needs, and he barely blinked as he helped you shopped.

In fact, the man had been more than willing to help you chose out clothes that he insisted would suit you better.

However...

However, you also wanted to curse Dire because he had left you in the hands of the most attractive faculty member. It didn’t help that it felt like he was out to seduce you--no, calling you ‘good girl’ or ‘pet’ instantly made the blood rush to your cheeks. 

You were pretty certain it was one-sided, after all, he used that type of endearment with everyone. It was probably like how some older people would refer to younger people as ‘sweetie’ or ‘dear.’ 

“So, I need you to watch over that side, am I clear, pet?” 

“No problem Divus.” you nodded your head, and just as you moved to the other side of the room, he took the time to give your hair a gentle pat, that smoothly transitioned to tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear.

“What a good girl.” he said, with that same smirk that would make your panties drop if you were a lesser person. ‘I swear to god he knows that he’s doing to me,’ you thought to yourself, as you tried to distract yourself with thoughts of the alchemic table of elements. 

Your job as Divus’s teaching aide was to look over people’s work. Unlike other courses in Night Raven College, Divus’s class was one where your worth as a magician wasn’t actually... relevant. Alchemy was based on the magician’s ability to stay attentive and patient. Divus started you off with learning the important ingredients, how to use them, and during class he would also tell you what you needed to see from someone’s potion to know that they were doing it right. 

It wasn’t so difficult.

 As you walked around the cauldrons of the students, and peered into the huge pots, you nodded in approval when you saw that they were mostly the right shade for this stage of the potion. You offered some quick suggestions or two to some of the pairs, when you heard a loud sound. 

You turned quickly to see that someone’s potion was acting up, and it caused the cauldron to shake. 

“Move, puppies!” Divus ordered them to move away from the cauldron as it swung toward him. You see him trip backward in his haste, and as adrenaline pounded in your ears, you immediately rushed over.

As he slipped, Divus hissed, and raised his teacher’s pointer--that is until he felt someone jerk him out of the way. The sudden pull, with his already unsteady stance, made him fall straight into your arms.

After rescuing Divus, you quickly scampered away from the acidic content that spilled onto the ground. 

“What now Divus?” you looked down, only to realize that he was frozen, as he stared at you with a stunned expression on his handsome face. (Actually, the whole class was staring at you in surprise, but you’re a little too taken with Divus’s startled expression to really notice.)

“Uh... Is something wrong?”  

“I... I didn’t realize you were so strong... pet.” He said, his eyes wide. As much as you wanted to savor the expression--he was nearly unflappable--you had greater concerns. 

“I can explain later?” you offered, then your eyes darted back to the concoction on the ground. “but the acid...” 

“Ah, right.” he snapped back into attention, and moved to leave your arms. While you do let him go, never let it be said that you weren’t mournful. He was an attractive coworker, and the way you had held him in your arms made you realize that one--his fur coat wasn’t very thick, and that two--you got a good grip on his well toned body.

You looked up to notice him scold the students as he waved his teacher’s baton around. You raised a hand to massage your temples when a thick, sophisticated (dare you say ‘sexy’) scent wafted up to your face from your hands. It was Divus’s perfume. You let out a shaky inhale in surprise, only to be overwhelmed by the scent. You felt blood rush to your cheeks, and you go a little dizzy at that. 

‘My god this man isn’t good for my heart.’ You thought, as you reached up a hand to rub at the scent. 

“Are you alright, pet?” Your head snapped up in surprise, only to realize that Divus’s face was very close to your own. You let out a squeak, and you slipped backward only for him to catch you by wrapping his arm around your waist. This of course meant--

Your faces are even closer than before.

“It seems like I saved you this time.” He let out a soft chuckle, and his face was so close to your own, that whatever red in your cheeks you’ve lost--probably came back tenfold. 

It also doesn’t help that this close, you could smell his perfume. 

“Yeah--um, thanks.” You took a proper step back except this time he followed. 

“Now now, pet.” He tilted his head. “You were going to tell me about earlier.” 

“The strength thing?” You asked. “I’ve always been strong... It was my talent so... I learnt how to use it.” your eyes flickered around, only to notice he’d likely dismissed the students already. That’s when you feel something press against your chin, which made you meet the taller man’s gaze. Unable to look at the item pressed against your jaw, you had to rely on your sense of touch—with the cool metal making you realize that it was his baton pressed against your chin. You feel the heat rise up to your ears in response to the realization.

He looked back at you with heavily lidded eyes. From this close you couldn’t help notice the glitter over his eyelids mixed in with his eyeshadow, and that hint of something in his eyes that made you shiver. 

“Aren’t you a fascinating one, pet?” he hummed. “You never cease to capture my attention.” (He thought back on the way you looked when you had easily carried him in your arms--his heart had skipped a beat. He had always thought you were cute--but at that moment? Something about the fierceness and strength in your expression was beautiful and undeniably--)  

He cocked his head as he sees that spark in your eyes again.

‘--alluring.’ He decided.

“Is that a good thing?” you asked as you bit your lip and his smirk only widened.

“Why don’t you tell me?” he asked, before he leant in to press his lips roughly against your lips, that made your heart flip--and when he slid his clothed leg in between your thighs--

‘This man is really not good for my heart.’

--

It took a little bit more convincing, but Crowley finally agreed to let you be a teacher’s assistant--to Ashton.

Ashton was--alright. He was energetic, and generally very cheerful. He was pretty easy to get along with. Though you had some issues with his bias to the more physically capable students--you saw it as your job to help out the less physically capable students when you could. When all else failed, you saw to it that the students would get tips from each other. It was the most you could--especially since physical education was different in this world.

You cupped your face in your hands as you watched the students quietly play Magical Shift. Beside you, Ashton yelled in good cheer--he wasn’t particularly biased to one side--he gave good advice to all players of the field. You could only watch attentively because you thought you barely knew enough about Magical Shift to be a proper commentator. 

That is until you notice that the disk was suddenly launched your way. 

You acted on pure adrenaline as you pulled Ashton out of the way and hoped away from the spot as the disk embedded itself deeply into the bleacher seats that you were originally on. 

You let out a sigh of relief at the successful dodge--that thing was heavy, no surprise there--you had to lug it around without magic. But you just knew getting hit by that thing--at the speed it was going, would definitely bruise someone. 

“Ashton are you okay?” You looked down briefly, only to see Ashton’s expression.

Ashton stared at you in awe. His eyes were wide, his mouth agape. He had his hands pulled to his chest and laced together.

He looked...very much like a damsel in distress, and you could already feel the laughter bubbling in your chest.

Ashton really did give some of the greatest expressions to everything--you can feel your heart soften. 

He was someone you grew incredibly fond of--because of how genuine he was about everything, especially with the things he liked.

“[Name].” 

“Yeah?” you arched your brow.

“You’re carrying me.” You looked down at him--and well, his position in your arms.

“...Yeah?” you tilted your head. “I mean, you’re in my arms right now, right?” 

“How are you doing this?” he said, his awe so apparent you can’t help but regard him with amusement. 

“I’ve always been strong.” you paused, “and well... it was that one thing I had so... I honed it.” 

“That...” he said so quietly you grew concerned--he wasn’t the quiet type. Far from it. “IS! SO! AWESOME!” you flinched when he suddenly bellowed.

“Quick! Tell me what’s your max weight!” he asked, and confused, you tell him. His eyes only sparkled further in response--and you kid not, when Ashton’s eyes glittered--they glittered and shone like bright stars. 

“You must join me for training!” he said eagerly, “I’m so excited! I don’t have much people to train with, but it will be fun to do it with you! That I’m sure of.” 

“Wait... you’re not... weirded out by it?” Most of the time, when guys twice your size find out you could carry them with no sweat, they often just... bailed. You had long gotten used to it, and refused to care because you wouldn’t let them have what you were proud of. While Ashton didn’t strike you as that type of person, doesn’t mean you didn’t brace for the possibility that he might respond that way. 

“What?” his brows furrowed. “No! I think it’s amazing!” 

Your heart fluttered at that, and you watched him in surprise as he rose from your arms.

“We should train together, okay?” Then he turned away to begin instructing the players again.

You looked down to your hands and they feel warm. You felt your cheeks warm and a thought pervades--

‘Do I--?’

--