#i plan on adding more things iitgueuptg

[songmvri-blog]

surprise bitch, i bet u thought u’d see the last of me.............GUESS NOT ok but real talk vic culture is spending time one useless shit and then being way too tired to type up something that makes sense or even grammatically correct..... so y’all keep up with my shint because u MUST!!!! ok for those who don’t know me, i’m vic ( she + her ) -- super old, super tired who currently resides in the gmt -3 timezone and this is song mari & her color is olive ( the one you would nevver guess by the frckin cholor scheme i chose....i know, so smart ) !!!!! feel free to hate her because i hate her too so there’s that, enjoy it bc i definitely spent the last seconds i had left of sanity on this ( and it’s long ad of course skjlrnrhkiugh i h*te myself ) (( add me on discord  @ RISE OF VOCALIST MINGYU#5789 to discuss further ok i promise i will make a connections page tomorrow )) 

let’s start this with an apology, this is long and you’re not obliged to read at all ( i understands the hardships of such life...... but then i also love to ramble ) but okay. HERE you can find her pinterest board, so you can have more of a visual ?? notion of mari ( not aesthetic bc idk an aesthetic concept ) & HERE you can find a shortened version of this all, a small bio !!! i’m sorry.

backstory ; 

she was born and raised in gwangsan, her parents married at quite young age -- a result of an arranged marriage, and when she was born, she was seen as the glue for their failed union

needless to say it didn’t work, when mari was five years old, her mother simply left without telling anything only a simple note on the fridge 

don’t stick notes on fridge’s doors, mari is triggered 

okay so she was left to deal with a rather terrible father, that treated her poorly for she reminded him so much of the wife who abandoned him, and grow up without the support of an actual family 

as she grew up, she was the perfect student -- she suppressed all high marks, and in the history of the local school, she had had the best grades ever seen

the teachers bet on her, on what her future would be -- on either she would succeed or fail miserably 

it was in one fine morning, when she was fifteen, that she saw her mother with a little boy in her arms and a man holding her hand, she noticed that the boy looked very much like her and that her mother was happy 

mari didn’t know if her mother had been cheating on her father, if she had been pregnant when she left -- she only knew that she had found happiness, and it wasn’t with her

that was the night that she first threw up from drinking too much soju right beside the pool’s fence -- but it was also he night she decided to be gone

her professors and mentors were not surprised when she approached them about  studying abroad and trying for a scholarship in an ivy league universtity

so at the age of sixteen she was gone to finish her high school overseas ( yes, ahead of the time ), and at seventeen she was blessed with her acceptance into harvard ( suck it up bitchez )

years passed and mari didn’t plan on coming back ever. she had graduated in physics, with honors -- and she was in the middle of her doctorate when she finally decided to answer one of thousand missed calls

her father was dying, and he didn’t have much time left. she was to it up earlier, she was to be back already -- but then, she didn’t want to give in, she didn’t want to go back to that part of herself. 

and even though coming home was the last thing in the world she would do....she put her doctorate degree on hold, she was called things that ranged from crazy to the biggest disappointment and came back to gwangsan 

a year ( and a little bit more ) has passed since she came back, and she can totally say that she’s been better.

she had taken up a position as physics professor at the local high school, the same she attended ( which made it blow up because.... a harvard almost doctor......teaching teenagers there ) & her nights she spends either at her house or besides her father’s bed at the hospital, the one who won’t speak to her by any means.

totally...................has been better. 

personality ;

mari has been hurt her entire life for the ones she loves, so let’s say she’s pretty guarded. 

& besides that, let’s say she is a little bit too conceited -- yes, she thinks she’s the Queen of Reason and no one can say it otherwise 

don’t speak of her father or mother..............or brother who’s probably 20 or 21 now................ everything just hurts her a lot

her entire life she’s been lost and she only felt that she was good enough when studying -- when she decided to leave, when she got the scholarship, when she graduated, those were the only moments she felt that she ws worthy 

so, academic success is something really big in her life -- it’s basically what kept her sane those entire years 

she’s...............i wouldn’t say dry, but logical. level headed and cold -- she’s a scientist, she wants facts not goddamn feels.

( too bad she has feels everywhere in her life )

she is ver dedicated and obstinate, to not say stubborn of course 

Exhausted™, she has bad sleeping habits ( if she has habits at all )

addicted to black tea 

when she left to the US she also left her cat behind, faraday -- he is super old now but still loves her the same even though he hates everyone else

( her iq is pretty big but i’m too lazy to think of a plausible number so i’ll mention this in her stats later ) 

she’s sarcastic............ i’m sorry....... really hard to connect with people...most people think she is a bitch....

color ; 

this is going to be a reach of everything i’ve added but i feel like i should explain why olive green once green is the color of harmony and mari is everything but a balanced person, okay. 

the green spectrum shows the balance between heart and mind & is the color of growth and rebirth. mari had to prove herself over and over again, to herself and to the entire world -- and albeit all adversities she has faced in her life, the ones that left her emotionally scarred, she managed to reinvent herself, to rebirth. what she faces now is the struggle of finding that fine line in her life -- she is a strictly logical person because she chose to be one. she’d been hurt so many times that she simply saw the heart as a foolish reason to act through -- if it wasn’t for her mother’s heart desire to be with another man, the one she loved, she would still have a mother. if it wasn’t for her father’s hardened heart, incapable of loving her properly, she would still find good reasons to stay. 

so she decided to be the best where she knew she would be the best at -- because it was logical. she decided to leave -- because it was logical. she decided to be a woman behind her own name, not her family -- because it was logical; but then she finds herself in that break-point -- where all the beliefs she has were put on the edge the moment she decided to listen to her heart and not her head. 

gwangsan is a place where the colors shine through, but also a place where you find the true meaning why those colors define you -- and her mission is to develop that link that connect both extremities in her life. that’s why that further to being in the green spectrum, her color is olive -- besides being the color of women empowerment ( she wants to be more than a pretty face and a nice body ), it’s also the color of peace, acceptance and understanding. 

mari will only find true peace once she accepts and understands, using both her head and her heart, all the aspects in her life & above all when she stops blaming her parents for the things that they couldn’t avoid, to begin with. delving in the negative aspect of olive, it also stands for blaming others for your own problems, greed and deceit. she’s not a deceitful person, but her guarded persona, merging selfishness, makes her quite hard to trust fully. 

it’s going to be a long ass struggle, but she’s trying and not succeeding. 

bitch if u got this far........................this is true love...............i love you.