#i never realized that forgot to post this here gut here's some more old art

[kiyiirung]

yeah i still can't think of a proper title for this one :3

[everlarkficquestions]

Sunday Stumped Day 35

It’s another Sunday Stumped Day!

Sometimes we straight out get stumped. So every few months we will pick a Sunday when we’ll post of a list of asks that we need your help on. 

In this round, we are focusing on asks for specific stories.   If your ask for a more general “type of” story is not included, it does not mean we are ignoring it, it just means we need more time to research and answer these asks. 

If  you know the answer to any of these asks please shoot us a message/  ask/  with the Post number and the fic details and we’ll add it and give you a shout out with our thanks.  Any links you can provide will also be super helpful.

Thanks!

Post 1 , Post 2 , Post 3, Post 4, Post 5, Post 6, Post 7, Post 8, Post 9, Post 10, Post 11, Post 12, Post 13, Post 14, Post 15, Post 16, Post 17, Post 18, Post 19, Post 20, Post 21, Post 22 , Post 23, Post 24, Post 25, Post 26,  Post 27, Post 28, Post 29 , Post 30, Post 31, Post 32, Post 33 and Post 34 can be found here - and there are still fics we need your help with.

576.  Anonymous said to everlarkficquestions:  Hi, I am searching everlarkfic that I read couple years ago in ff.net. Post mockingjay, Katniss and Peeta are getting married then when they’ll rebuild Peeta's family bakery, peeta got collapse and they find out that he was dying. In the end peeta died. Annie and Katniss's mother had to move Katniss to district 4 to taking care of her. In district 4, Katniss met with gale and they were slowly building relationships from there?

577. its-hopeless-romantic said to everlarkficquestions: Hey,I am looking for fic in which Peeta is Katniss's college professor (he is 10 years older than her) and they fall in love. He is teaching history of art and I remember he invited her to the opening of his galery. I remembre that he goes to Italy to teach for a few months and before that he introduces her to his family. I think it has 2 long chapters in second one there is his proposal. (It's called Lessons in Love or something like, but I can't find it)thanks 💕💕💕

578. alwayseverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Looking for a in Panem fic (I think no games) , where Peeta is working in the mines and an accident happens and Katniss is looking for him thinking he’s dead , but Gale thinks she wa s looking for him instead and when he realizes , he’s mad at Katniss.I am not sure if this is one fic... or if I’m mixing two different fics...Thansk!

579. stonyspideypool said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a fanfic were I think katniss wants peeta to take control/be more dominant so she calls johanna and johanna tells her that peeta would never force himself on her and he has dealt with so much blue balls over the years that he's used to it or something (lmao) sorry that's all I remember 😅😅Love the page btw💙❤ literally its the only reason I'm on tumblr, thank you💕

580. amesielee said to everlarkficquestions:Hi I'm looking for a fanfic. It's either a one shot 2 shot or 3 shot and it's about Peeta and Katniss having sex. It's their first time and once it's over Peeta grabs a wash cloth for Katniss to help her out. She then gets mad and assumes he has done it before with Delly. I think Peeta didn't know it was her first time. And Peeta says maybe we are just good together. He then asks if she loves him. It's on Tumblr. I hope you can help xx

581. booksandeverlark said to everlarkficquestions:Hi there! Another story I remember reading but can’t think of the title. I know Leeta is older then Katniss. Peeta knew Katniss’ Parents and is their age. Katniss likes Peeta and Peeta keeps telling her he’s too old for her but she doesn’t care. They start to date and Katniss dad finds out before they can tell and eggs mad. I think Peeta also gets hurt protecting Katniss and how she reacts makes her dad see they are serious. Thanks so much for the help

582. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions:Trying to find a fic...modern au where katniss is with her friends (Annie Johanna Finnick Gale madge....) at a party and they find her the next morning in bed with Peeta?

(582) This could be I Dare You (To Stay) by Thewritershae - thank you @allie-rose

583. justanotherrandomaccount9999 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! Do you know of a fic where it the story is about each time peeta ruins a cake? I read it before but forgot the title. The last time was when he made Katniss a cake for her birthday but dropped it when she said she was pregnant. Thanks for everything you've done for this fandom btw :)

584. pleasantturtletheorist-blog said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! So this might be a tricky one (bc I don’t remember much of the plot lol) but basically in this fic Peeta was like “don’t deny me post-sex cuddles” or something along those lines hahah. And I remember the scene being really cute but I can’t remember much else about it. I know this is very vague but if you could help I’d really appreciate it!! 🥺🥺

(584) This is possibly Blowout by Annieoakley1. - Thanks to @sunsetsrmydreams

585. yeeyeejones73 said to everlarkficquestions:Hello:) I was wondering if y’all know the name of a fic where it’s canon post mockingjay and everlark is growing back together slowly. I remember peeta gets a boner while Katniss and him are sleeping. I also think Peeta accidentally sees Katniss in only her towel after a shower and it’s super cute and awkward. I hope y’all can help and also thanks for all y’all do!

586. superpineappleenthusiast said to everlarkficquestions:Hey, I'm looking for a fic where the tributes of 74th games escape the arena. Thanks!

587. anonymous-loner95 said to everlarkficquestions:What the fic where Peeta thinks he's about to sleep with some random girl, which I think is actually is Jo, but is tricked into a room with Katniss?

588. thatgirl56834 said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! First of all, I love this blog! You guys rock! I’ve been looking for a one shot I used to read all the time. It was where Katniss and Peeta were friends in middle school and kissed after their dance but then Katniss moved away. Years later they ended up being neighbors and getting together. Peeta lied about who he was at first but then Katniss figured it out. If you know what this fic is, I’d love to read it again! 💗

588 FOUND!  Wishes Old and New by Peetasbunmyoven. Thank you, @sunsetsrmydreams and @allie-rose

589. neonsnail said to everlarkficquestions:Hey I'm looking for a fic where peeta meets katniss and she has some kind of vision that if she gets pregnant prim dies and tries to stay away from peeta but she fails and then she sleeps with peeta to try to get pregnant and fails then disappears and they meet again a few years later and become a couple

589 FOUND! The story ha been identified as The Fool by Myusernamehere but unfortunately it has been deleted by the author.  Thank you @katnissdoesnotfollowback​

590. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: what’s the fic where Peeta cheats (post mockingjay) on Katniss and because of this she ends up with someone else?

591. everlark-always said to everlarkficquestions: Peeta and Katniss are in highschool and Peeta goes to prom with Madge and Katniss goes with Gale. She wears a burgundy dress and at the pre prom thing she meets an old friend from home named Josh.

592. tributeintraining said to everlarkficquestions:I'm looking for a specific fanfic I read years ago. It's a modern AU where Katniss and Gale are in a band together. Katniss is the guitarist and doesn't sing. Gale is married to Madge but was having an affair with Katniss. The public finds out and she leaves the band. She goes solo and starts a PR relationship with Peeta. Her first solo performance is singing "Shake it out". That's all I remember. Thank!

593. supreme-doritos said to everlarkficquestions:Hi! im looking for a fic where the rebellion happens early and the capitol gets overthrown before the 74th hunger games by a tribute (then victor) from district 7. At one point katniss and peeta (who lost his leg in the bombing) look after haymitch but he ends up killing himself so they don't starve during a really harsh winter. Before he dies he asks katniss to give chaff a naked lady mug/glass (i cant remember the name lol sorry) Thank you! I really appreciate you guys <3

593 FOUND!  The Avalanche And Little Pebbles by Dyce - thanks to @eggplant8

594. entwodreiquatrocinq-blog said to everlarkficquestions: So i'm looking for this fanfic I read once on FF.net. Peeta and Katniss are intimate in the catching fire arena, and later in district 13, she finds out that she pregnant. Peeta is either in a coma or captured and one of his brothers survived. I believe there is a fight between Katniss and the brother, and he says something like "just because you f'ed my brother in front of the entire country doesn't mean....."  That's all I remember, I hope it's specific enough. :)

(594) Possibly The Sharp Edge of Memory by Titania522 - thanks @eggplant8

595. lettrsto said to everlarkficquestions:hi guys!! i can't remember for shit the name of this one shot, i guess it was written for promptsinpanem, where katniss dates gale, but haymitch hates his guts so k&g make a deal w peeta so katniss fake dates peeta while she's actually dating gale behind haymitch's back. can you guys give some help, pretty please? does it ring any light? thank you!!!!

(595)  FOUND by the asker!  Yours And Mine by Andthisisthewonder

596. jonerys-everlark said to everlarkficquestions:I remember a fanfic where Katniss and Peeta were in the 74th games when Katniss learns that Peeta is with the Careers, she remembers him telling her something (I think) but I know that she then waits until they are gone, and says to the audience something to the effect of , “I have something to say... he has not betrayed me, he is protecting me, as to his confession in the interview, I’m still trying to decide how I feel about it” or something like that, basically, she knows he is on her side an

Do any of these fics ring a bell? Please let us know!

[annonmaly]

Ok, It's Not Red. So What? (continuation)

Noé and his left eye

At this point, I'm wondering why I decided to do this. At first, I just saw this official artwork collection, and I'm like: "These are cool, let me post something short about what I think (cos' I got a lot of time). Some of these ideas may already be out there. But still, I may drag someone else in this 'what if' hole I'm in". I meant this to be one post with 500 words only. But lo' and behold! I'm now on the fourth part of this thought dump. My lazy brain is so proud of me right now.

These posts could be read separately. But if you have some minutes to waste and have nothing better to do. Check out the previous parts here:

Part 1: Regarding some of VnC Artwork

Part 2: Oh, It's Not Red

Part 3: Ok, It's Not Red. So What?

No promises that it's worthwhile tho'.

Hopefully for the last time, a friendly reminder that best in writing is an award I never received. I'm not the person who could analyze, explain, or theorize things. Please bear that in mind while reading. Photos are not mine, of course. Also, spoiler alert to be safe.

Now that I said everything I want to say. Let's finish this thing. This would be the last absurd idea that I want to share.

I read this theory a while ago that Noé's left eye was partially blind. This was the result of his injury during his childhood. As proof, Noé always received an injury on the left side. I totally agree with this theory. There's something wrong in that left eye of his. What if Noé's left eye lost its original power? Or What if it's not his eye to begin with? Sounds farfetched? Yeah, it is, but give me a break here. This was on my head for a long time now, and this needs to be out of my system.

Ok, first, let me tell you why I think his left eye is suspicious.

1. Noé had an eye injury when he was a kid. But after a while, it healed as nothing happened. This could easily be explained. It was healed totally by his vampire's power.

2. How and when he received that injury is questionable. (Actually, that whole story is suspicious) Did he receive it before or after being kidnapped? I don't much about slave trade in VnC world. But, if you're going to sell something you don't want it to have visible damage, right? (Sorry if the comparison sounds offending)

3. This may be for artistic purposes. However, there are panels where Noé's left eye was hidden by his hair or something. Most of them are when he is emotional. Or, more precisely, when it's about Vanitas. This is not always the case, and maybe I'm just reading to it more than necessary. But let me give you some examples:

(I had a hard time in this cos' I'm confused about what is left and right)

Let me briefly explain the picture from left to right

Bal Masque Arc: (It is not noticeable in this arc, actually. But when Noé is scolding Ruthven, we can't see his left eye.) The image above is when human Vani told Noé to leave him alone Then the one beneath is the moment when Noé declared that he will stay with human Vani.

Catacombs Arc: This is the time when Noé forgot to cut his hair. His left eye is hidden at about 90 percent of this arc. I only saw it again when Noé got angry with the weird doctor because he keeps calling human Vani by number "69". Even after the conclusion of this arc, his left eye is hidden.

Pre-Gevaudan Arc: We all know what happened the night before this. In the panel above, his eye was hidden when he was expressing his guilt. Then when he's being honest, Mochijun-Sensei showed his left profile.

Misha Arc: I know it's still fresh in your memories. To make this short, they are fighting to the death. The above panel is when Noé's reevaluating the events that happened. Then below is when he realized that he did not look at human Vani properly.

I'm a VaNoé shipper so I could go on all day, but I think I already get my point across. There's a pattern here when human Vani and Noé are having an issue. Or when Noé can't understand the former, his left eye is hidden. After they kiss and makeup Mochijun-sensei shows Noé's left eye.

I think I already established that Noé's left eye is weird, so let's move on. If you encountered my prior post, I assumed that Luna and Noé are twins. Let's ignore that notion. For now, I will settle with the idea that the blue vampire and Noé are related. They could be siblings, parent-child, or kinsmen. I'll believe that Noé is related to the blue moon vampire until Mochijun-Sensei says otherwise.

So, I emphasized Noe's hidden eye a moment ago. Who else out there that we don't see her left eye? Yup, the vampire of the blue moon. (I already mentioned this on my previous post)

This is not related but look at these panels:

After hearing human Vani's childhood story, Noé and Luna both asked the question about hating the vampires. Take note that Luna is on the right, the eye that was she's not hiding. Noé on the left profile, the hidden eye at times. I don't know if there's a meaning in this or what, it's just interesting.

Going Back,

If Noé is related to the blue vampire and the cursed book. (I think Grandpa DeSade won't ask him to observe the book without reason, he possibly be the real owner). Maybe at some point, his eyes are blue. Or maybe one of his eyes is blue. The left eye, perhaps?

So far, we only saw Noé gazing at the blue moon in the first chapter.

Left profile, left eye, interesting. (I'll say this again and again, Sensei is shady. Even that smile)

Well, it's his right eye. However, it's his left that noticed the moon first.

Next...

The whole sentence is "and see for yourself with your own eyes..." Is it just a coincidence that the panel with the words "with your own eyes" was a close-up of Noé's left eye? (He's still looking up the blue moon here)

Now, assuming that his eyes are blue before. What happened? As I said earlier, maybe he lost the power of his left eye or just transferred it to someone. Is there someone heterochromatic that is always with Noé? Oh, yes, Murr.

So, in a nutshell: What if Noé has the power of a blue and red moon vampire before the series' timeline started? (He's kind of special since it would only show when he's using his vampiric powers) Then, something terrible happened that we don't yet. And they had no choice but to transfer that power to Murr?

At one point, I imagined that Noé and Murr exchanged eyes, but dismissed it since I thought that Murr's eyes are red. But now that I changed my mind about Murr's eye color, I think this could still be a possibility.

I'll leave it up to your imagination as to how everything happened. This is just a half-boiled theory I had that needs to get out of my mind. I'll try to expound it furthermore when I found out more (or maybe I would already change my mind)

This scene would negate my thousand words post entirely. Because the injury Noé had is shown when he met Sensei for the first time. This means he should still be heterochromatic here. The old man knows that he's a vampire. So, it's either, Noé told them, or the couple saw his vampiric characteristics. They would tell Noé that his eyes was strange, right? But it looks like had no idea at all.

(I'll just copy and paste from my previous post)

I believe that Mochijun-sensei is keeping the timeline vague since it would reveal too much information. I mean, we don't know how long time passed from the day Noé was found by the old couple to the day Sensei brought him to the castle in the forest. Keep in mind that the vampire's growth differs for each person, as well. Also, is the story the Noé and Sensei told trustworthy? As far as I could tell, Sensei is shady, like really. Besides, Noé's memory is also not reliable. After all, someone out there may have the ability to manipulate memories. What if Noé was was born ages ago and was induced to sleep for a long time for whatever reasons?

(Copy Paste ends here)

I really love Noé and Murr. You see, the title of the series is The Case Study of Vanitas, but I'm more curious about Noé. My guts tell me that he would unexpectedly surprise us in the future chapters. Do you have any ideas or thoughts you want to share about VnC? tell me, I'm so bad at digging gold here.

That's the end folks, I warned you this might not make any sense. I'm just a person who has a lot of time on hand got bored waiting for the next chapter. Still, I had fun writing this. It's entertaining to crack our heads with the possibilities of what would happen in the story. But remember to always respect the authors. It's their work and art.

Note: I wrote this to indulge my over-thinking self. This is just a random theory, thoughts, assumptions, and/or head-canons. Thank you for taking the time to read and understanding if I made any mistakes or post whatever it is you don’t agree on.

[drawlfoy]

The Wonders of Ohio P.5

masterlist (check here for parts 1-4!) request guidelines

pairing: draco x reader

request: from 14 year old me babey

warnings: cringe, mentions of drug use, mentions of sex, language, and just bad writing

summary: y/n is in her senior year of high school when she is asked to take on an exchange student from britain that’s a little...different. this is NOT a nonmagic AU. draco is still a wizard and this will become and integral part of the story shortly.

a/n: heyyyy everyone. i graduated from high school this week and i’m posting this as my happy-one-year-to-me. as some of you may know, i posted my very first fic on this day a year ago. i’m really happy to see how i’ve grown since and i’m so lucky to have shared this with all of you. anyways, nittygritty--

this part is really the last slow exposition chapter. chapters 6 on will be a whole whirlwind beginning with homecoming and i hope that you guys are willing to stick around. i promise itll be worth the wait. y/n is going to get the story arc of a lifetime and also please do not hate heather she is just going through it ok 

anywayssssssss

tags tags tags  @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry @ayo-cowbelly @nerd-domland @erisdogwood @loveissupernatural

word count: 4.6k (;))

song recs: 

strawberry blonde -- mitski 

in your neighbors garden -- mimi bay

wishes -- beach house

ode to artifice -- samia 

pink in the night -- mitski

enjoy <3

The seatbelt buckle scorched the side of Y/N’s exposed neck as she turned to face the disheveled blonde in the passenger seat.

“Do I need to teach you to set an alarm?” 

Draco let out a huff. “Stop. Do you have a….a comb, or a brush, or something here?” His hands looked abnormally fidgety. Their actions were shaky, varying from patting his pockets to running through his hair. He seemed more and more frustrated each time his hands left his pockets empty. 

How curious Y/N thought as she racked her brain for any remembrance of putting a brush in her car. It was always a mess, and she honestly couldn’t blame Draco for assuming that anything could be in there.

“I don’t think there’s one here,” said Y/N, trying to sound at least a little sympathetic despite the fact that his tardiness had them 10 minutes late. “You can look around if you want, king.”

“What’d you call me?” His voice was suddenly sharp and awake.

Y/N rolled her eyes so hard that she thought they’d get stuck in the back of her head. “You don’t--ok. It’s a joke. You can call guys here that.”

“And it means that I’m…?”

“It means I’m acknowledging that you exist, I guess. It’s not like it has a strict negative or positive connotation. Like, I can say ‘Ok king’ to any man telling me something and it can either be sarcastic, or it can be because I don’t know what else to say and just want to let him know I heard him.”

Draco’s eyes looked a tad glazed over when Y/N dared a glance in his direction.

“I know it’s confusing. I’m sorry. I’ll try and ease you into the world of American slang.” 

He granted her a little “uh-huh” before opening up the glovebox with great difficulty and rummaging through the mess. Y/N would’ve felt more embarrassed about the tampon that fell on the ground in the process if he seemed like he actually knew what it was. 

Her attention turned back to the road as Draco continued to sift through things. Y/N couldn’t help but wonder if there was anything embarrassing hidden away in the corners of her car--after all, it hadn’t been organized since the beginning of summer--and decided that it was better to pretend it wasn’t happening.

It wasn’t the eerie silence that eventually prompted her to turn to look his direction--no, it was the weird energy in the car, like the feeling right before a thunderstorm. All the hair raised on her arms, and she shivered...but it was stifling hot in the car.

“Oh, did you find a brush?” she asked. His hair laid as perfectly as always, but his hands were lying shaking in his lap, palms to the sky. No hairbrush was in sight.

“Er... “ He was paler than usual, which was quite the feat for someone who looked like a ream of paper. “No. Just remembered a trick my father taught me.”

She tensed at the mention of his father--the very first time Draco had done so. “Oh. Okay. Glad you got it figured out, king.”

Her voice lightened on the last word, hoping she could coax a little smile out of him. 

“Don’t call me that.”

“Ok.”

oOo

 There were many things Y/N thought she understood, but Draco Malfoy being in her Physics C class was not one of them. She took pity and sat next to him as he fumbled his way through the first lecture. His notes, while neat, were littered with crossed out portions and question marks. 

You do know there’s an eraser on your pencil, right? she jotted on a note that she sent his way. His brow furrowed and he seemed to tap at the end of the eraser for just a few moments before deciding otherwise and xing out another practice problem he’d done incorrectly. Symbols that she’d never seen before were scattered all throughout his notes. 

Maybe the UK kids just learn stuff differently.

By the time that Physics came to an end, Y/N was eager to get away from the storm cloud that was brewing over Draco’s perfectly smoothed and infuriatingly pretty moonbeam colored hair. The amount of attention he was getting from all the other girls made Y/N want to jump off a cliff--suddenly everyone was her “best friend” “just wanting to check up on what happened over summer”. She was grateful to see the face of Lizzy, grinning and looking mischievous during their break period.

“You must be Draco,” said the redhead, a glint in her eyes. He looked a little scared.

“Er...yeah.”

“Mind giving us some privacy? Y/N and I have some urgent matters to discuss,” she continued, looking him up and down. Y/N attempted to ignore the twist in her gut as she watched him swallow and nod, turning away to go brood elsewhere. Once he was out of sight, Lizzy grabbed her arm and yanked her into the girl’s bathroom.

“It’s so funny how he’s following you around like a lost puppy,” Lizzy said. “Also, he’s gorgeous. If you don’t at least try to get some of that, then I’m never trusting your judgement again.”

“But, Li-”

“The boy’s a fucking walking Wattpad story cover. Dark, tragic past, unbelievably sharp jawline, rich parents, exotic accent....honestly, Y/N, I don’t know what else you could want.” 

“Mom literally called him my host brother,” said Y/N. The bathroom was starting to smell suspiciously like cotton candy. “That’s wrong. On so many levels.” 

“But you’re not related!”

“But it’s gross! And predatory! The kid doesn’t even know how to do basic algebra! I’m all he has!” 

Lizzy’s eyebrow found its new home in the middle of her forehead. “You’ve gone absolutely batty if you think that every girl cursed with attraction to men in Cincinnati wouldn’t jump his skin at the chance. Use your head, queenie. He’s not alone. Shoot your shot.”

Y/N opened her mouth to serve back a retort--that was definitely there, thank you very much--but decided against it once she realized that the bathroom had become dead silent. “Um...maybe we can go over this later.” She flickered her eyes over to the line behind them that was now intently hanging on their every word. “I forgot I had to talk to the counselor.”

Lizzy was smirking as they exited the bathroom and began the search for Draco. It didn’t take long--the circle comprised of Heather and her friends was more than enough of a giveaway that he was about. 

“Draco, sorry to make you wait,” Y/N called out. It took all her effort to abstain from cringing as her voice rang out across the group. Heather turned to send her a big smile.

“Hey Y/N! You didn’t tell me that Draco was from London!” 

“He’s not,” she responded. “He’s from Wiltshire.” 

“Wiltshire. Of course. That’s what I meant.”

Draco’s smile was tense as he looked down at Heather--who stood roughly 4 inches below him--but he was smiling, and that wasn’t something that Y/N was on the receiving end of frequently. She didn’t know whether to be offended or relieved.

“I’m sure. Break’s almost over, Draco. I can show you where the English department is before the time is up.” 

 He paused, looking down at the blonde grinning up at him. “Er, actually, Heather already offered to show me around for the rest of the day.”

“Yeah, for sure. I’ll see you in French.”

Y/N was shocked at the sheer amount of jealousy that rose up in her throat as she turned away and made her way to Art History---the only class Y/N and Draco didn’t share. The walk was strange. Being in solitude after having a gloomy British boy attached to her hip was understandably eerie. Because that’s all it was. Adjustment. Nothing else.

She settled in at a table full of her friends, namely Sylvia. The tall girl was always a bit whimsical, but Y/N found that she was a breath of fresh air compared to everyone else. It made sense that Sylvia would take Art History--her dark academic inspired aura and the perpetually hot mug of black coffee just screamed history nut. 

“How’s your new brother?” she asked after the teacher had taken attendance. “I say that because I haven’t heard his name yet.”

“Ick, it’s gross to think of him as my brother,” Y/N responded. “And I know! We need to catch up. I’m sorry about not talking to you for a bit. The time difference was a bit weird during your trip.”

“It’s ok, I get it. I was away on family business, anyways. I didn’t expect you to spend your days staying up until the wee hours of the night to tell me all about your exchange student. Anyways. His name?”

“You’re gonna scream when you hear it, Vie,” she said. “Draco Malfoy. It’s so posh. You have no idea. It definitely suits him, though. He’s very...You good?” 

Sylvia’s olive toned face looked a bit paler than usual. “Yeah. Yeah, I just remembered that I forgot to take the trash out this morning. I’ll have to text my mom about it.” She adjusted the wool cardigan that hung around her shoulders and came up looking composed. “Draco, huh? His parents must hate him.”

“At the very least! He’s so rude. And uptight. I can’t tell if it’s just a Brit thing or if it’s because he’s an asshole.” 

Sylvia laughed. “I mean, when I was there over the summer, it was a different culture for sure. We’re by far louder. But I didn’t meet many mean ones. You must’ve just got a bad apple, then.”

“I guess so. He is pret--”

“Ladies, is there something you’d like to share with the rest of the class?”

“No, Mrs. Jensen,” Sylvia and Y/N said in unison. 

oOo

“Thoughts, king?” 

“I told you not to call me that.” Draco glared at her as he tried to open the passenger side door to find that it was locked tight. “Unlock? Please?”

“And I told you not to get cozy with ASB kids, yet here we are,” said Y/N as she slotted the key into the lock and turned. 

“What’s it to you?”

“Nothing. I’m just looking out for you.” She slammed the door shut and threw her bag in the bag. The line of traffic to get out of the school was long and stuffy, and she was eager to just get it over with.

The wait was so hot that Draco peeled off his stupid formalish jacket that was on thin ice of being called a blazer and probably worth more than her car. Y/N tried to look away as his hair became slightly ruffled, but she couldn’t pry her eyes away. It was endearing, almost, how someone who could look so posh and serious could have ruffly hair--and hair that naturally light, too. She had asked him one night if it was dyed, and he scowled at her and told her the grammatically correct term was dead, and that his hair was alive, just like the rest of him, thank you very much. She dropped it. 

Y/N finally rolled down her window after the AC simply refused to satisfy her, and the wind was a nice reminder to keep in her own lane. Draco was beautiful. There was no other way to put it. He had a feel of power to him, like he was capable of anything but just held it back. But he was just as inaccessible as he was pretty, and there was nothing she could do about that.

“Y/N?” He asked after a few moments of sitting in silence. “What’s Homecoming?” 

“Who told you about that?” 

“Heather. She asked if I had a date. Is that like a ball here?”

“She asked you if you had a date on the first day?”

“Yeah.”

“Fuck. ASB kids never do sleep, huh.” 

“What?”

“Homecoming isn’t a ball. It’s like a...an…” Y/N paused as she saw Draco raise his eyebrows. “It’s, like, uh….Well I guess it is like a ball. An American one, though. Way less extravagant. It’s an excuse to get dressed up and run around the city. There technically is a dance, and all the ASB kids have to go, but literally no one else does but the underclassmen. Normally I go out with my friends and a date to somewhere fun and take pictures. And then get trashed afterwards.”

“Classy,” said Draco. “I think you can go now.”

A honk behind her emphasized his point as the space in between her and the car in front widened substantially. 

“Thanks. Anyways, it’s not really a big deal. I’d suggest not going with Heather so you can skip out on the dance portion. Or if you want to go with her, get her to come with us into Cincinnati because I am not going to spend my last homecoming watching a grind circle.” 

“A...what circle? And I don’t want to go with her.”

The relief Y/N felt was embarrassing. “Um...better if you don’t worry about it. You have a long time to figure it out anyways.”

He seemed satisfied with that answer, propping his elbow up on the center console. The pristine button up he was wearing had ridden up, exposing the pale skin and the bottom of the tattoo she had seen a hint of earlier. “Do you have a date?”

“Um. No, not yet. I don’t think anyone except for couples do yet. We have until the end of this month to figure it out, so I’m not too worried about it.”

He nodded as Y/N’s car finally left the school parking lot and began picking up speed. 

“I’m assuming you had balls? At your posh boarding school?” 

“Er…” Draco ran his hand through his hair, ruffling it further. “We only had one. It was when I was 14. We called it the Yule Ball.”

“Why only one?”

“It was for a special occasion. We had two other schools join us as well. It was quite a good time.”

“So every student only has one ball in their lifetime?”

“Of course not. Some of us--the ones from old families--have events like that regularly.”

“I’m sorry if this is overstepping my bounds,” began Y/N, noticing how he tensed up, “So you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. But, I’m just wondering, what is your family like?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like are they nice?”

“Oh.” The line in his forehead relaxed. “No. They wouldn’t like you.”

“Glad to hear it,” she said. “Do you like them?”

She heard the breath hitch in his throat. “I don’t know anymore.”

“I’m sure it’s hard to think about it when you feel like they’ve just shipped you off without anyone,” she added. “I’m really sorry, Draco. I know I’ve been a bit mean to you. I know that I’ll never be able to understand what you’re going through right now.”

The slight smile that spread across his face would’ve knocked her to her knees if she wasn’t already sitting down. “It’s okay. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

The silence that awaited them for the rest of the journey was comfortable.

oOo

School began to pick up the pace after the first few days. Y/N got into the swing of homework and her extracurricular workload. Draco was having a bit more difficulty, she presumed, but he’d never admit to it. She took pity one evening and gave him her laptop opened to a Khan Academy tab for Physics and was pleased to see that he showed up to class the next day with completed homework. He asked to borrow her laptop on a much more frequent basis after that. 

The routine they settled into had her heart leaping into her chest almost constantly--they’d eat breakfast together at the table, Y/N would try to ignore how pretty he looked across the table as they shared a pot of black tea (earl grey, which Y/N was thrilled to learn was his favorite as well), they’d get in the car, she’d write him notes in physics to help him (even though he never asked, he always smile and give a little shake of his head before unfolding them and intently staring at her writing), they’d drive home together and bitch about their French teacher, he’d retire to his room and do whatever pretty blonde Brits do in the afternoon, they’d meet unexpectedly at the same time in the late evening to have a final cup of tea, and then they’d go to bed and do it all over again. 

It was difficult for her to admit, but Y/N was falling very quickly for Draco. It was gross, and wrong, and manipulative, and completely against the code of conduct for exchange families, but she couldn’t help but spend her days fantasizing about how his gold-spun hair would feel as she ran her fingers through it or how gently she’d trace her fingers around the tattoo on the soft flesh of his forearm…

But Y/N knew those thoughts weren’t right. And they would go away. Eventually. 

“How’s it going?” Sylvia asked, effectively snapping her out of her thoughts. The Art History sub told them to go into independent study, whatever that meant. Y/N was not very good at either of those words.

“Pretty good. I can’t believe it’s been 3 weeks already,” she said. “It’s gonna be Halloween before we know it.”

“I can’t fucking waitttt,” said Sylvia. “I’m gonna be Wednesday Addams.”

“Again?”

“What else would I be? I get a new high collared black dress every year. It’d be a shame if it were going to go to waste. What are you gonna be?”

“One of the thousands of students finishing their UChicago ED app hours before the deadline.”

“You’re kidding. Can’t you just finish it the day before?”

“Where’s the fun in that? And, plus, I don’t have an idea as cool as Wednesday.”

Sylvia smirked as she opened up her planner and began to jot down something. “How’s Draco doing? I haven’t seen much of him lately. It seems like he never hangs out with us at break anymore.”

“Yeah, I ended up getting him connected with the Physics teacher. He’s getting tutored now. He thinks it’s all bullshit, but I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t get into a good school.”

“Is that all you care about?” She smiled at Y/N. “Lizzy was telling me that you’re interested in him.”

“First of all, keep your voice down. Second of all, I’m not supposed to be, so I’m not.” Y/N hoped that the edge in her voice was convincing enough.

Her friend raised her eyebrows so dramatically that her glasses nearly slipped off her nose. “Y/N, who’s gonna hear about it. You guys are both going away at the end of the year anyways, and I’m sure he’s not going to be writing to his dear mum about his love life. If it’s consensual, there’s nothing wrong with it. I think it’d be good for both of you.”

“I see that, but let’s put me in his shoes right now.” Y/N shuffled in her seat and clasped her hands. “I’m rich. I’m British. I’m very hot. My parents throw extravagant balls for me and I kiss pretty girls that say water like ‘wota’. I’ve spent my life in silk and I only drink the finest teas. My family is so important that I had to be shipped off halfway across the world just to be safe. And now my incredibly expensive life has reached a peak because I’m sleeping with a random girl in Ohio that has run approximately 4 stop signs since I’ve met her.”

“You’re sleeping with Draco?” 

Y/N turned to see Lauren, a wide-eyed, obnoxious, but well meaning girl staring at her. She heard Sylvia stifle a laugh behind her. “No. I was kidding.” The smile that she followed with was awkward and showed way too many teeth. 

“Oh, okay,” said Lauren. “Do you know if he likes anyone?”

Sylvia’s smirk widened.

“No, actually, he’s a pretty private guy.” Y/N sent her another tense smile, and Lauren finally turned away.

“Jealous, huh?”

“Shut up, Vie. You know I wouldn’t go for him. Even if I had the chance.”

She just raised an eyebrow and smiled. 

The afternoon brought its own set of struggles. Their French teacher had blown up at another student who had been caught cheating on their last test, and it was all Y/N could do but hold back her snickers until they were out in the parking lot.

“I can’t believe they still managed to conjugate their cheat sheet wrong.” Y/N was gasping for breath as she unlocked the car door and threw her stuff inside. Draco was watching from the passenger seat, his lips in a soft upturn. “Can you imagine? Oh my god.”

He just shook his head and turned to look out the window, but she could see the smile slowly stretching across his face. “Ridiculous. You could totally tell Monsieur enjoyed it, too. I bet he gets off on making kids like Joey cry.”

“I had a teacher like that,” he started. “He was a Poti-a chemistry teacher.”

“Oh? Did he ever attack you?”

“No. He liked me. Family friends and all.”

“Ah. I almost forgot that your family was rich and influential. Thanks for the reminder.” She reached across and lightly punched his shoulder. His smile, though still remaining, seemed to shrink. “Hey, what’s that in your bag?” 

Y/N motioned to the cardstock peeking out of his nondescript black backpack that always seemed to fit more than it was meant to. She could make out a few words written in what looked like a bright red sharpie--something that did not exactly scream Draco Malfoy aesthetic.

He froze up. “Er. It’s from Heather. I think she called it a Homecoming ask?”

Y/N’s throat dried up to the point that no words would willingly make the climb from her diaphragm to her tongue; instead, she settled for giving him a little nod and what she hoped was a convincing smile.

“I told her I’d think about it,” he continued. “I remember you saying that the school dances sucked. So I let her know that I wasn’t sure yet.”

She nodded again. “Super cool. You can do whatever you want, though. You can come with my group if you’d like, but you’re welcome to go with Heather’s.”

“What? So you aren’t coming with me if I go with Heather?”

“Fuck no, dude. I don’t hate her, but I would way prefer to spend a night with my friends than some girl from my French class that only talks to me because she thinks you’re hot.” 

The expression Draco made reminded Y/N that he would never get comfortable with American girls calling him hot. “Ok. Have you found a date yet?”

“Chad from Econ asked me yesterday.”

“Is that why my seat was covered in glitter?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you going with him?” Draco’s hand was clenched tight in a fist in his lap.

“I think so,” said Y/N, steeling herself and deciding to just go for it. “But, of course, if you asked me I would say no to Chad. Just out of principle. I am supposed to be your tour guide, after all.”

The only parts of him moving were the few stray wisps of his hair being pushed around by the AC going. 

“But that’d be weird. I’d only expect you to take that up if you really didn’t want to go to the dance itself.” She swallowed and pulled out onto the main street, putting distance between them and the school. He was silent for a few moments. The quiet, normally comfortable between them, was stifling and strange. She pretended to ignore the way he was fiddling with his cuffs. 

“Yeah, it could be,” was all he said before slumping against the window and closing his eyes.

Mrs. Y/L/N was sitting at the head of the coffee table when the two arrived home, carding between a stack of letters in front of her. The mug of something--probably that new decaf blend she hadn’t stopped raving about--was sitting lopsided on a coaster, just barely about to topple off the edge. She looked like she hadn’t moved for hours, the novel she had been previously reading sat face down to preserve the spot next to her no doubt lukewarm drink.

“Hey Mom,” Y/N said as she set her keys down. “Anything good?”

She looked up, her expression morphing from startled to happy. “Other than the college brochures? Nothing, except...hm, what’s this?”

Her well manicured hand pulled at a crimson envelope, with sloping writing that seemed to shimmer in the light. 

To the Y/L/N Family, it read. The loopiness of the writing looked like it wiggled at the ends, but that had to be a trick of the light. It was dim in the kitchen during afternoons, after all. 

“It looks cool, open it u--”

“No!”

Draco’s voice had never sounded so loud as it did then as he lunged across the kitchen, snatching it out of her mother’s hand and clutching it to his chest. “Er, it’s for me. I recognize the handwriting.”

 “Cool, see you later,” said Y/N. She was up the stairs and slamming her door before either of her housemates could say another word. After the horrible embarrassment that was technically Draco’s rejection, she needed to be alone. 

Even burying her face into her pillow and squeezing her eyes shut didn’t keep the scenes from their car ride at bay. She had been so stupid, so stupid. Why did she even think he wanted that? He was her brother, after all. Oh god, does he think we’re all from Alabama or something?

She wallowed for a few more mournful minutes before deciding that she had to pick herself up and handle it like an adult. After all, she was going to be 18 in just a few months. There was no excuse for her to act like a child anymore. And, plus, it wasn’t like she couldn’t just play this off as a pity invite. Yes,that’s what she’d frame this as if he ever asked her about it again. She felt bad for him was all it was. 

Once satisfied with her internal dialogue, she rolled out of bed and made for the foyer where her bag was still on the table. She’d first walk on Legos barefoot before she had to let a stupid boy--especially one that didn’t know how to turn on their shower and had to ask for her help every time--come between her and her 4.0. Never.

Her thoughts were cut short, however, when she heard a new sound from his side of the hallway. She froze, listening closely. 

Draco was crying.

[kenbunshokus]

this is a (super late) update to this fic rec post! i was planning to just keep editing and updating that post, but it’s been so old it no longer appears on tumblr search system and all, so here we are. be ready for some old school zosans in the mix

all complete

absolute favorites will be noted with a ♡

list will be updated as i find more

story count: 30 fics

last update: jan 5th 2020

CANON-VERSE

Goings On by clarify  ♡

Zoro and Sanji understand each other, and sometimes have a very similar sense of humor. Even though they're worlds ahead of most, sometimes they can't help but to act their age.

easily one of my favorites. zoro and sanji are completely in character, being themselves and comfortable in each other’s spaces. for anyone who thinks zoro and sanji can’t get along in canon, this fic can easily prove them wrong.

Part Timer by 8ball ♡♡

Sanji really, really doesn't want to give Zoro a job at his restaurant. Zoro doesn't really even want to work there in the first place, but, well, there’s this thing with Sanji, and this thing with feelings and the whole thing is pretty damn stupid all together.

Zeff just wants grandkids. He’s too old for this bullshit anyways.

a wonderful, heart-wrenching, roller coaster ride of a post-series fic. this fic is not just a mere fic — it’s a zosan magnum opus with guest appearances by so many other characters, lots of crew hijinks and a must-read for everyone who craves for a happy ending for these good boys.

Say It Again by 8ball

Zoro tells Sanji how he feels. And then again. And again. 

since we’re talking about 8ball i just want you to know i’d rec everything they’ve ever written, but special mention to say it again — a classic miscommunication trope fic done well where the miscommunication stems from fundamental misunderstanding of each other’s principles and views instead of just some plot-convenient coincidences. and soft zoro. god, he is soft.

The Wedding Night by cuethe-pulse (lj)

Zoro had never expected any of this.

major character death warning. don’t let the first few scenes fool you. note the warning; the last few lines were like a punch in the gut for me, except, you know, the good kind of punch. also, a quick rec of a drabble by the same author to soothe the pain after this one.

Roronoa Zoro: World’s Greatest Bug Killer by insaneidiot ♡

Sometimes, Zoro's life really sucks. He should've known better than to make fun of Sanji's bug phobia, though...

zoro’s internal monologue is hilarious  — until today, this author is still my go-to expert on zoro’s voice, especially his more sarcastic side.

Quitting’s Easy by insaneidiot

Sanji decides to quit smoking. This is not quite so easy as he thinks it will be. Also, his crewmates (excluding Robin and Nami, of course!) are assholes.

fun, fun strawhat hijinks and oblivious sanji. the crew dynamics and especially sanji’s voice are pitch perfect. there’s a hint of luffy/nami that you can easily scroll past if it’s not your thing.

I can’t stop thinking that i can’t stop thinking by hieiandshino ♡

In which Brook changes tactics and Zoro is not amused. Everyone else is, though.

holy shit is this fic hilarious. i love comedy fics that manage to slip in thoughtful observations and character study in between the hijinks, and this fic pulls that off with flying colors. 

The Walls See All by threesipsmore

Reiju hides a snail cam in her brother's room.

fun short fic from reiju’s pov. there’s never enough zosan set in whole cake island arc and this fic delivers.

Stormbird by Judin ♡

The Straw Hats' first landing in the New World is on Arashi Island, where it looks like they'll be spending a fun week attending the local festival and making new friends. Until they spot a strange pirate ship in the harbour, and Sanji starts behaving oddly. The Straw Hats become entangled with the mysterious Gently Pirates, a crew that harbour many secrets, and whose captain is a man out of Sanji's past who has the power to tear the Straw Hat crew apart. 

it cannot be overstated how wonderful this fic is, and how it could’ve fit into the canon just nicely, like a better-written one piece movie, except with zosan. not only are sanji and zoro in character, every strawhat gets a spotlight and has pitch-perfect voices. brook is especially lovely in this fic.

Unintended Consequence by itsmylifekay

A group of marines charge, Zoro slices through them, and in that instant Sanji feels his own eyes grow wide. Because there, on the arm now outstretched towards him, steel glinting in hand, is the stupid bracelet he’d given Zoro. The bastard is actually wearing it.

there’s a reason this is the most kudo-ed zosan fic on ao3 right now — it’s so soft without being ooc, and there’s a quiet undercurrent of affection laid throughout the fic that will warm you up from the insides.

Somewhere Between Sorrow and Bliss by srididdledeedee

Sanji has never cared for winter.

He can see himself, is the thing. There are bits and pieces that poke through, but it’s not all him. It’s like staring in a fractured mirror. He knows, intellectually, that the person staring back at him is himself, but his face is splintered and his shape is distorted and his body is wrong.

a fantastic character study on trans!sanji and how he comes to terms with his identity with the help of his crewmates. supportive strawhats are always a lovely addition to a zosan fic

Give In To Love by libbylune

Zoro knows better than to think about it too much, but between the rowdy festivals and ancient unexplained temples on this island, it's hard to forget about wanting Sanji.

i love how this fic puts as much focus on the boys after the confession as it does before the confession. a good case fic with its own unique island adventure and i’m always a sucker for soft!zoro

Laundry by libbylune

Dealing with Sanji makes Zoro develop a lot of opinions about clothes.

there’s absolutely nothing hotter than bi!sanji who’s completely comfortable with his gender identity and sexuality. also gay disaster zoro fumbling his words whenever sanji is around is 1) accurate 2) hilarious.

Language of Swords by HaveMyWeedCookies ♡

It took them for a while but finally, Zoro asked if Sanji wanted to hold his sword.

i love fics that explore zoro’s relationship with his craft and his swords, and adding zosan into the mix is something i didn’t know i needed. an interesting outsiders pov zosan in the pov of zoro’s swords.

Ghost of a Chance by sabershadowkat

“I know, for sure, that I didn’t expect to miss everyone so much, including you.” Sanji cut a glance at Zoro and rephrased correctly, “Especially you.”

this fic handles tropes that are usually associated with character death fics, but manages to end it with a happy ending. zoro’s devotion here is heart-wrenching.

Idiot Romance by sabershadowkat

"This has to be a joke," Sanji muttered, poking at the colored petals. Zoro couldn't have just given him flowers.

a classic  — this is literally the first zosan fic i’ve ever read — and a lovely one at that. sanji is oblivious and zoro attempts romance, not that zoro ever needed to.

festival night by thisislegit

“ANOTHER FEAT BY THE WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN, JORIRI.” The woman turned to Mr. Mohawk and with faux sympathy said, “Oh! Sorry, sir. Maybe next time. We can’t always beat the best, but we can do our best and that’s what matters. Do we have any other takers? ANY OTHER TAKERS READY FOR THE STRONG MAN CHALLENGE? HOW ABOUT YOU SIR? MADAM? YOU OVER THERE? ARE YOU INTERESTED?”

“What kind of shit name is Joriri,” said Zoro and Sanji in unison.

i’m an absolute sucker for fics that have zoro and sanji simply hanging out and enjoying each other’s company, comfortable in a way they couldn’t with their other crewmates, and this fic exemplifies that. just them being little shits and having fun with one another.

No Victory in Hesitation & the Past Has Its Lessons by EudaimonErisornae & vageege

Zoro has a lot of things he wants to say to Sanji, but he just needs one more day. || Zoro tries to fix a mistake he made in the past.

major character death warning. i died a little bit inside after reading this tbh. there are some devil fruits-explained time travel hijinks, but mostly it’s this looming, grim inevitability of death that’s written so pervasively throughout the fic that really got me.

Imperatives by dollcewrites

Zoro is confident in saying that Sanji is a man who doesn’t do what he’s told. Which is why, when a command accidentally slips from Zoro’s lips during foreplay, he is expecting to hear the cook’s scoff as he continues to do what he pleases.

i don’t tend to do pwp, but this isn’t just one — it’s a completely in-character piece about their relationship and dynamics.

when you say by bluewalk ♡

It's a long time in coming. Usopp can promise, but.

this fic is as much sanuso as it is zosan, and usopp here is — still very much usopp, but also a very beautiful take on his character as someone who spent a lot of time behind sanji’s back, and realizes that when he watches sanji’s back, he gets to see zoro’s, too.

a complete guide to falling in love by ThousandSunny

Sanji was trained in the Bridal Arts; this does not go unnoticed by the rest of his crew.

while the main ship is still zosan, the fic also focuses a lot on zoro and sanji’s relationship with the rest of the crew, and it’s one of those fics that really makes you realize how much of a family the strawhats is. a lovely read all around.

destructivity is a poison that run through our veins by wasteofmind

Zoro thinks that, someday, they are going to kill each other.

a dysfunctional take of their relationship. it’s fascinating in the same way a car crash is fascinating  — there’s an undercurrent of something violent, something visceral. this is one of the fics that inspired me to write migratory animals.

ALTERNATE UNIVERSE

Ocean’s Child by 8ball  ♡

Here's the truth: Zoro couldn't swim. He fell in the water and sank like a stone because there had never been anyone to teach him how to move his arms. He forgot that if he screamed for help the water would get in his mouth, and he even opening his eyes hurt.

Here’s the other truth, the one that stays a secret: a mermaid saved him.

a fascinating retelling of the one piece canon with mermaid!sanji. it feels a lot like a love letter to the seas, and it’s mesmerizing how sanji’s mermaid backstory is seamlessly weaved into the one piece canon.

with you by Cirro

How to find your life partner in three easy steps: 1. Punch them in the face 2. Insult their cognitive abilities 3. Embarrass them so much they agree to marry you

a wholesome two-part modern au series. my personal favorite is the second part, where sanji brings zoro home to meet zeff — complete with the two of them teasing sanji in their own ways.

The Proper Reaction (or What To Do When Your Son Brings His Boyfriend Home by three_days_late

Holidays at the Baratie were always hectic, but it's nothing Zeff can't handle. Sanji's new boyfriend, on the other hand...

on the topic of meet-the-family: the only thing more fun than zoro meeting zeff is zoro meeting zeff and the entirety of baratie staff. also includes one of my favorite line about bi!sanji: “sanji loves nice girls and bad boys”.

Exclusive by cuethe-pulse

Zoro loves Sanji, Sanji loves Zoro. Zoro wants to be exclusive, so Sanji should, too. Right?

this is a circus/bakery au. yes, you read that right, and yes, it works. i went into this fic with a lot of doubts and came out very satisfied with how fleshed out everyone in this au is, and i’m forever in awe with how the author can set up an entirely separate, vivid universe with so few words.

Delivery by styx_in_the_mud

Sanji is stuck delivering pizzas when Patty is out of commission for a while. Zoro likes to order pizza after training. Both of them are sort of idiots, but Zoro can be smooth as fuck if he puts his mind to it.

a fun, in-character au with good ol’ banter and cute get-together.

The End of It All by xpiester333xx

Humans have been forced underground due to the effects of a chemical weapon that has made surface life impossible. Sanji lives in one of these underground colonies and though he dreams of bigger things his life has been mundane; spent following strict rules and obeying higher commands. Or it was, until a stranger shows up and changes everything.

the author labelled it as sci-fi au, but I personally think it’s more dystopian-like? either way, while this fic is on the long side, it manages to keep everyone in character until the very end, which is something that can’t be said for a lot of fics.

well, there we go! feel free to drop me an ask if you want to rec me fics or ask for a more specific/themed rec list; i’ll also update this post regularly !!

i also have an ao3 donutsandcoffee if you want to see my take on these dorks o/

[erekiosuncreativeideas]

Reliving An Old Nightmare - Chapter 15

<= Chapter 14

Summary : Snatcher finds a way out of his troublesome situation. Also available on AO3 : https://archiveofourown.org/works/22337299/chapters/57711178

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HEEEEY, IT'S ME AGAIN ! BET YOU DIDN'T EXPECT A CHAPTER SO SOON ? Well, I didn't want to leave you guys on the previous cliffhanger for too long, so here's the next chapter, which is almost the longest one ! It's ten pages long !

I hope you'll like this chapter !! If you do, don't hesitate to leave me a comment, as it really helps me reassure me !I

(also I opened art commissions, so if you're interested... You can see the post here)

Anyway, happy reading !

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Chapter 15

Snatcher looked at the door, astonished by what had just happened: someone locked him inside his room. He couldn’t help but stare at the doorknob until he was able to pull himself together. Putting his hand back on the knob once again, he tried to turn it, in vain.

There weren’t many hypothesises on the culprit, at this point… Either Vanessa had asked a servant to lock him up after the diner, or “Simeon” had heard their argument and had decided to take the matter in his own hands. Instinctively, the latter theory seemed more credible at the moment: after all, Vanessa seemed to have wanted to be “forgiven”, even if it wasn’t real. Her accomplice, on the other hand, apparently was someone who liked to work in the dark. When the ghost had listened to their conversation, the mastermind had expressed his bitterness about Snatcher having discovered his existence…

The spirit gritted his teeth and punched the door several times, not liking where this was going at all.

-“Hey!” he roared, with a very authoritative and furious tone, his breathing quickening as he spoke: “Reopen this door immediately!”

Snatcher then stuck his left ear against the wooden frame of the door, trying to catch any noise behind it. It lasted for a few seconds until the shade started to hear footsteps slowly moving away from him. Whoever was behind that door, whether it was “Simeon” or any other stupid servant listening to him, Snatcher was ready to murder them, painfully ideally. Well, supposing this door wasn’t in his way of doing so.

He hammered the door once more, faster and louder than before, feeling his rage increasing as he heard the person moving away.

-“Open this door, or I swear I’ll make you! I won’t repeat myself!” He threatened, hoping to be convincing enough if he was menacing a servant. However, there was no reply to his order. Instead, the steps slowly faded, no matter how hard the spirit pounded on the door. The steps had been calm, slow-paced, as if the person behind the door expected this reaction out of him and wasn’t afraid of the consequences of his actions. Snatcher realized he was right in his previous hypothesises: “Simeon” was probably responsible.

-“I’m going to kill him… I’m so going to kill this guy, whoever he thinks he is to mess with me…” muttered Snatcher, gritting his teeth even tighter. His hands hurt from the hits on the door and, when he finally looked at them, he noticed how red his skin had turned. His attempts to bend his fingers only resulted in pain and he quickly stopped moving them. Pain was certainly not a human experience he would miss.

“Now what?” he wondered, looking back at the room behind him. It was just like he left it… Or so he thought, until he noticed that something at the window seemed off. The ghost frowned and got closer, trying to see what had seemed weird to his brain. It is only when his eyes fell on the lock of the window that he understood why it had felt different to him: there was a black padlock on it. “Someone” must have come into his bedroom while he was talking with Vanessa and locked his window. Did “Simeon” guess his intent before he even got the chance to put his plan into motion? Or did the butler act “just in case”? Whatever was the reason, it seriously put Snatcher’s intentions to a stop, at least, unless he figured a way out of this room.

Now quite hesitant about what to do in a situation like this, the spirit looked around him, hoping to find any new idea to leave this room. His eyes fell on the desk and chair near the door: sure, he could break the window with the chair, but he wanted to leave discreetly. This would not be discreet.

Just as he was about to make a few steps in the room to look for more ideas, he felt something in his boot. Then, it hit him like a train: the brat’s remote! Of course! That was his way out of here!

The spirit almost facepalmed: how could he have not thought about it in the first place? He hid it so well that he even forgot about its existence! Without losing any more time, the shade squatted down to take it out of his shoe, careful not to do anything wrong with it. He certainly didn’t want to break it by dropping it on the floor or press any button that should never be pressed under any circumstances… It was a wonder Snatcher didn’t press any button on accident while it was hidden in his boot.

The device was intact and functional. A small green light was blinking repeatedly on the yellow surface, indicating that the remote was on. The red button on its centre was surely the one that needed to be pressed. Well, that was what the shade supposed since he knew nothing about technology. Isolated from the outside world, Snatcher knew very little of what had been invented since his death, only learning about it from his victims, either dead or alive.

Well, what was life without its usual risks? After everything he had been through, one more dangerous situation didn’t make much of a difference… And so, shutting his eyes tightly, the ghost pressed the button and braced himself for what was to come.

Just like he expected, teleportation was still not something he enjoyed. It felt like the floor underneath his feet had just disappeared, making him fall in an empty white void. It didn’t last long, though in the few seconds he had to endure this awful this process, he could feel his own body disappearing, only to be replaced by something else, something he was much more familiar with. It was a very strange and horrible sensation to experience and, once again, he couldn’t help but wonder how could the hat-wearing child endure a process like that so often. He hated it so much. No matter how much he would need to go through teleportation, he would never get used to it.

His vision came back to him in a blink, once he fully materialized in the ship. Remembering the meeting between his face and the floor when he first teleported onto the kid’s spaceship, the spirit made sure to start levitating as soon as he felt his spectral body again. That was apparently the right thing to do, as his ghostly face almost hit the floor again.

No, he would absolutely never get used to it.

Snatcher quickly came back to reality, and checked his own body, just to be sure. Just like he expected, he saw his spectral form instead of his fleshy body, which was quite a relief. He had been back in that inconvenient vessel for a few hours only and he was already glad to be back in his usual form. God, it felt so good not to have legs! He could float again, just like he used to! He then took a look at his surroundings, wanting to know if the teleportation had worked well. As soon as his eyes scanned the room, he felt a wave of relief engulfing him again when he recognized the kid’s living room. Everything had worked just as planned! Finally something good in his current situation!

Just like the last time he came here, the lights were all out. The only thing lightening the room was a Time Piece set on the ground, next to the control station. This hourglass was probably one the kid had gotten out of her safe. How many did she have anyway?

A few steps away from it, a silhouette was lying on the ground, their head burrowed in a light blue pillow. Snatcher didn’t need much more to recognize the hat-wearing brat. Suddenly, an unknown feeling rose inside of him at the sight of the child, who still hadn’t noticed his arrival on her ship. Was he worried about her? The realization hit him like a train and he felt his inexistent guts twist at the thought. “Hah, as if!”, he mumbled internally, as he could only float towards the brat, apparently oblivious to what was happening in the same room as her. Was she asleep? On the ground? But she had a bed!

Once Snatcher got close enough of the small body lying on the ground, he caught sight of several objects scattered all around her. Two books were next to her, one of them opened, displaying a language the spirit was not able to read. A few tools could be seen, such as a screwdriver, a monkey wrench as well as a wire cutter. Her hat was not on her head and was simply waiting for her, not very far away. Several cookies were disseminated near her head and the kid was holding one she hadn’t finished eating, probably falling asleep before she got the chance to, from the look of it.

The control panel had been fixed… Somewhat. Inside it, a few wires had been reconnected with adhesive tape, while other wires still waited to be fixed. On the yellow surface of the machine, the hosepipes had been reconnected to the mainframe using the same method.

The kid herself, just like he thought, was sleeping soundly. Her breathing was calm, slow and repetitive as her body moved up and down. Some locks of hair were touching her face, yet she seemed too asleep to care. Without thinking, the ghost came closer and suddenly realized what he was doing. Was he watching a child sleeping? How creepy was that?! He was supposed to be creepy, yes, but not that way! The ghost straightened up immediately, looking away, ruffled by his behaviour. That did not happen.

A high pitched noise on his right caught his attention and he turned his head to the sound. His yellow eyes instantly fell on the brat’s little vacuum cleaner, which seemed to stare at him with its awful pink eyes. It made happy-like sounds to him and Snatcher only frowned in response. Great. Now there was a witness. Sentient or not, it still bothered Snatcher and he had to force himself not to destroy the brat’s stuff on impulse. Not that he didn’t want to, but he just knew that he wouldn’t hear the end of it if he did. Plus, the ghost had many important things to do and, for them to happen, he had to wake the kid up.

The shade floated back down and took a deep breath he didn’t need… Before yelling, right above her ear:

-“WAKEY‌ WAKEY KID!” his voice echoed in the living room, making both the child and her vacuum cleaner jump from the surprise and from how loud it was. The little girl let out a scared shriek and quickly got away from him, crawling on her back. The latter hit the machine behind her and, when it did, she appeared both confused and terrified at the same time, tears appearing in her eyes. They went from all their surroundings to him in successions, as if she was trying to understand what had happened. What a great sight for the shade, who enjoyed this prank profusely. It took her a couple of seconds until she seemed to get what the shade did and a furious expression replaced the confusion on her features.

-“Why would you do that?!” was the first thing leaving her mouth, as she stood up, anger clearly visible in her gestures. Her fists were clenched and she glared at the shade with a rage that was quite unusual for her. Though, to Snatcher, it was a pleasure to look at, especially after the rough evening he had.

-“Aaaw, did I scare you?” he taunted, his mischievous smile widening at her anger. The girl pouted and quickly squatted down to pick up her monkey wrench, throwing it at the ghost, before doing the same with the screwdriver. The spirit avoided them easily and laughed maniacally at her attempts to hurt him.

-“Did you forget? You can’t hurt me like that! I thought you knew bet-”

He stopped talking when a loud sniffing sound interrupted him. The spirit froze and he stared at the child, as he noticed that she didn’t act like usual. Normally, she would fight back, try to insult him and even turn him blue if she had the chance to. Now… She was just standing, motionless, right in front of him, her head bowed down. Another sniffing sound came from her, breaking the silence that had fallen between the two. The child’s shoulders were trembling, just like her clenched fists.

“What the…” wondered Snatcher, stopping his thoughts when he understood.

The hat-wearing brat was crying. He could hear her sobbing, just like he could see tears rolling down her face. The shade couldn’t help but stare at her, not knowing what to do. This was not what he had in mind. Sure, he had expected her to be angry, but crying? This was new and probably not good. Usually, he felt happy when he made someone cry. Seeing them sobbing right in front of him, praying for their life to be spared, just before he killed them gruesomely… That was fun! However, in that particular situation, Snatcher wasn’t enjoying it, for a reason he couldn’t explain yet.

He lifted his right hand as he tried to catch the little girl’s attention once again:

-“Hey kiddo… You okay over there?” He paused, waiting for her to answer, in vain. He tried again, this time coming closer, using a tone he hoped casual (despite being very much not casual): “I thought you were a strong kid! Why are you crying for something this dumb?”

Somehow, the spirit felt like he had crossed a line but it was already too late. The child rose her head, glaring at him with blue eyes full of tears. Her teeth were clenched and her breathing seemed to be harder and harder to control. And, just like Snatcher feared, she snapped at him:

-“Are you serious?” she roared, stomping her left foot on the ground as she kept going, her voice breaking as the words left her lips: “I… I don’t need this right now!”

The kid pointed to their surroundings, absolutely livid:

-“Do you have any idea how hard it is to fix a ship like that?” she questioned. Snatcher opened his mouth to answer but she cut him short, visibly not wanting to listen to him in any case: “no, you don’t! I know! I’m the one who just spent a whole night not sleeping to try to fix something, anything! But nothing is working and I don’t know what to do anymore!”

The ghost tried to interject once more, only to be silenced as the kid continued, even more furious than before:

-“I’m not finished!” fumed the hat-wearing child: “I’m trying everything I can to at least fix the power so I don’t end up suffocating in the next few days, but I can’t! And the moment I finally fall asleep which, by the way, wasn’t intentional, I get woken up by a pecking ghost who has no idea what I’m going through!”

Her yells faded out as she stopped to breathe again, still glaring at the spirit in the process. Silence fell once again as Snatcher didn’t know if he could reply now. He was staring at the child, bewildered at her outburst. She had never acted like this in the past, even when she kept “dying” in his advanced contracts. But, now that he thought about it, she did seem pretty tired. She had dark rings under her eyes and her posture was the one of someone who would fall asleep anytime. Now, all the junk on the ground made much more sense to the shade, as he finally put the pieces together: she had spent hours trying to fix her ship, in vain, only falling asleep because she was completely exhausted. And Snatcher came here, only to wake her up violently when her mind was probably a mess at the moment.

A very unpleasant feeling of guilt rose inside of him, as he remained silent. He felt like apologizing was his best chance of ending the argument, but… Snatcher didn’t apologize. Yet, he couldn’t deny the need to do so. The only thing preventing him from doing it was his prideful personality. The kid seemed to guess his thoughts as she rolled her eyes, picking up her hat as she grunted:

-“Don’t bother, I don’t care.”

The shade was about to retort when he realized something. She had mentioned staying awake for a whole night? But he thought time moved slower in her spaceship!

-“Wait kiddo, how many hours has it been for you since we last saw each other?”

She looked up, staring into space, visibly even more tired than before:

-“Uh… Almost a day for me, only a few hours for you, I think.”

-“But… I thought time was supposed to move slower here? Did I miss something or…?” he asked confused, though quite relieved at the change of subject.

The hat-wearing child pointed to the mainframe, to which a Time Piece was (poorly) connected:

-“I tried to align our “time zones” but… All I managed to do was reversing the effect and worsening it as I tried to fix it,” she explained, taking a deep breath as she continued, extremely tensed: “now, I only have a few hours left until my oxygen supplies start to be low enough to make me sick. Suffocation will come next, in a few days.”

Snatcher could only stare back as he listened to her words. Normally, hearing about someone suffocating would morbidly catch his interest, but… In this case, it felt wrong. He understood with horror that he didn’t want her to die like this, or die at all. What was happening to him? He was a monster, killing people and eating their souls! He made his victims suffer in very diverse ways before murdering them painfully! And now he felt worried for a child? This was ridiculous! Yet, the feeling was there and he couldn’t deny it.

The shade examined the mainframe, which was in a very poor condition. He knew the kid had an engine room and he couldn’t even imagine how much worse it could be compared to what was in front of him. And from what she had been telling him, she didn’t have the tools to fix any of it, which only made the spirit even more anxious. He felt the need to change the subject, hoping the status of the rift was not as bad as everything else.

-“What about the rift?” questioned Snatcher, praying silently for some good news, at least: “how many days have we left?”

The kid pinched her nose, exhaling loudly. She then rubbed her tired eyes, looking up at Snatcher as she replied:

-“It’s worse than what I first thought.”

If Snatcher didn’t want to anger her more, he would have facepalmed twice. It was as if the world was trying to persecute them more and more, always finding more twisted ways to make them suffer! Was it his karma coming back at him for all the wrong things he had done after his death?

The brat guessed his thoughts despite him trying his best to keep an impassive face:

-“Let me explain before snapping at me like last time, okay?” she commented. It was weird to hear her saying “last time” when, for Snatcher, it had only been a few hours since then. But time had been distorted between them. And even if he did want to yell, he couldn’t deny how much exasperated the kid seemed to be: usually, she would put up with his behaviour, but the spirit had a feeling she would not be as patient right now, and, well, time was running out. Thus, he managed to put his pride aside for a bit and only nodded, not wanting to infuriate her more.

The child seemed briefly relieved at his attitude and elaborated:

-“This time rift isn’t supposed to exist. Time rifts are a part of space-time shenanigans but, as I told you yesterday, this rift is artificial. And both time and space hate that, and they’re trying to destroy it to, uh, restore the balance of space-time, if that makes sense to you.”

It did not make sense to Snatcher. Well, he still got the idea but he couldn’t understand why the reality was trying to make them disappear. Could it really tell the difference between a “wild” time rift and one that was not? The shade decided to keep his interrogations to himself, not wanting the kid to spend hours to explain things that were too complicated for him. It was just abstract. Law, on the other hand, was not.

Seeing his silence as a sign to continue, the hat-wearing child enunciated more information about their current situation:

-“So, as I was saying, this time rift is abnormal and the universe is trying to crush it. The thing is, it does that little by little. Have you noticed strange things while you were down there?” asked the little girl.

Snatcher remembered his experience in the bathroom. The mirror had become completely black, not reflecting anything anymore, and his shadow had taken the form of his spectral body. He had wondered at the time if the rift was collapsing and, now that he got explanations, it all made much more sense. So it was just collapsing very slowly. Good to know.

Snatcher kept his sarcasm to himself and answered his small ex-contractor:

-“I have. Things started disappearing and reappearing very quickly around me. And some surfaces lost their reflections too. My shadow looked like my usual spectral one, too.”

The kid nodded, not surprised by his reply.

-“Yeah. The rift is having trouble keeping everything together. Stuff like reflections, shadows, small objects… The rift is trying to resist by making less effort on materializing unnecessary things, those that won’t cause much trouble if they stop existing.”

-“Wait, you mean that shadows and reflections aren’t necessary?” asked the ghost, a little confused.

-“Well, yeah? I mean, it’s not like you’re going to die if you don’t have a reflection anymore,” explained the child: “However, having all water disappear from the rift might be problematic, so, uh… Just imagine that the rift has priorities, okay?”

-“You say that as if it’s sentient.”

The kid rubbed her face again, sighing:

-“No, it’s not, it’s just… Ugh, it’s too hard to explain! It just… Acts on instinct? It just wants not to explode.”

Snatcher wasn’t convinced, though he felt that the kid didn’t want to explain things further on that topic. Then, it was time to move on another subject:

-“So, if the time rift is going to collapse soon, and if the lack of oxygen is going to kill you…” started the shade, hoping to get more information about what they would have to do: “we need to find that Time Piece, and the sooner, the better. Right?”

-“Right. We need to go now-”

However, a noise interrupted her, making both her and Snatcher jump from the surprise. It sounded like… Growls? The ghost looked around him, on the lookout for any dangerous foe hidden in the kid’s ship. However, when the growls echoed in the living room once more, he felt… Something moving in his inexistent stomach. Was he… Hungry? The shade lowered his gaze to his body, more than astonished. The little girl was showing the same surprise as him, not expecting that kind of sound coming out of him either.

Him being hungry it that form… That couldn’t be possible!

His confused and nervous expression was soon picked up by the child, who apparently decided it was the time to make fun of him:

-“Well, looks like someone’s hungry~!” she nagged, giggling when he replied by glaring at her silently. Well, in a way, he did deserve it, he supposed. Plus, he was feeling hungry. After all, his human body hadn’t eaten for a while, yet… He was no longer in this useless vessel now, so why was he experiencing something like that?

-“How is it even possible?” snarled Snatcher: “I don’t even have a stomach!”

To this, the kid hazarded a guess, gently tapping her lips as she spoke:

-“Well, I may have an idea about that. You said the rift messed up your shadow, right?”

The ghost lifted his spectral brows, sceptic:

-“Yeah, but what does it have to do with me being hungry when I shouldn’t be?”

-“What if you never really became a human in the first place?”

The question took the shade aback, cutting his thoughts short. The spirit frowned, not really understanding what she had implied:

-“What do you mean?” he asked the brat, who was staring into space as she developed a theory:

-“I’ve been thinking about it since the issue with your hand yesterday-, uh, I mean, a few hours ago for you. You being hurt was weird, since you should normally be invincible in your usual form. So, I wondered… You know how the rift is only an illusion? How everything was made from scratch?”

Snatcher really didn’t like where this was going. It was a bit too abstract for him, after all. But he kind of knew what the kid was implying and he didn’t like it.

-“Yeah?” he answered in a wary tone.

-“What if… Your human body is just a disguise you’re forced to wear? Like, maybe the rift is forcing your appearance to change?”

-“Why would it? And… That doesn’t explain why my hand was hurt or why I’m being hungry right now!” retorted Snatcher, feeling more and more lost as the kid continued her explanations.

-“Well… The rift might be manipulated by the one possessing the Time Piece. That would explain why it gave you this appearance in a world that isn’t even your past, only a copy of it,” she recited, pensive: “When you think about it, it just makes sense: why would you look like your human self in a Time Rift that is not actually linked to your past originally? It has to be intentional. As for why you feel human stuff right now… Maybe the rift is changing your body even on the inside?”

The ghost was truly horrified by what he was hearing. His form, being changed more than its appearance? This very idea made him terribly uneasy and sick to his -supposedly- inexistent stomach. It felt like his body was being violated by something, someone especially. “Simeon”’s face came to his mind as soon as he thought about it. Instantly, pure rage grew inside of him. Snatcher was sure that the rift itself was not the culprit he was looking for, but the butler, on the other hand… It just made sense. He felt his clenched fists warming up as his magic started to manifest through them, until blue flames appeared all around them, up to his wrists. As for his hair, it became pointier and pointier as he remembered the butler’s face and what the brat had just told him.

So that guy thought he could mess with him? Snatcher would show him what he was capable of!

But if his human vessel had always been a forced disguise… What about Vanessa?

-“Snatcher?”

The little girl’s worried voice interrupted his thoughts as well as his increasing rage. She was holding both of her hands together against her chest, staring at him with eyes full of anxiousness. Right. She knew nothing about what the spirit had found back in the rift, thus her confusion made perfect sense.

The shade did his best to calm himself down. The last thing he wanted to do was to lose control of his powers and blast a laser through the walls of the spaceship. The possibility of what could happen if he did so didn’t appeal to him very much… The ghost took a deep breath and felt his anger waning, just like the magic around his hands, eventually disappearing too.

Snatcher then started to tell the kid what he had discovered while he was in the rift, as well as Vanessa’s denial on the matter. The kid seemed surprised to learn that the mastermind had chosen to take the form of someone close to Vanessa and him. But, in a way, what was a better camouflage than taking the butler’s form? Snatcher would have never suspected him seriously if he hadn’t witnessed Vanessa’s reaction to that guy being in the same room as her earlier that day.

The brat became pensive again, rubbing her chin as she tried to process everything the ghost had told her. After all, it was a lot of information. She then opened her mouth to talk, only to be cut short again by another growl from the spirit. Instinctively, the shade hid his stomach, ashamed of the sound. He hated it when his human body did things on its own, and now his spectral one was doing the same? It was extremely frustrating at the very least… Even more so when the hat-wearing child giggled at his reaction. It contrasted a lot with her previous tired expression which, as much as the ghost wanted to deny it, made him feel a little better. Only a little bit.

-“Well,” laughed the kid: “I was about to say that we might want to start looking for the Time Piece now, but… Maybe you need to eat first? How do you feel about cookies?”

Snatcher had never been so humiliated in his entire life and after-life. However, his body seemed very much enthusiastic at the idea of eating. The ghost, now utterly resigned to do what had to be done, had no other choice but to accept the girl’s offer. And, as much as his body wanted to eat, Snatcher did not. Food and its texture were just awful.

It was even worse when it came to cookies. Those didn’t remind him of good memories at all.

-“Okay, fine, but not cookies!”

The child only beamed at him in answer. He didn’t get the chance to add anything else as she was already running towards the kitchen, climbing on top of the first floor easily, just like usual.

This was going to be long and awful, he just knew it… But if everything went well after that, they would be out of there in no time! How hard could that be?

As much as he wanted to be optimistic, the ghost couldn’t help but have a very bad feeling about this…

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Welp, no cliffhanger this time ! Phew ! I hope you liked this chapter ! Don't hesitate to tell me if you did, it helps a lot, I can assure you !

See you soon on the next chapter ! Stay safe everyone !

=> Chapter 16

[writeradamanteve]

(beautiful and inspiring art by @shrugheadjonesthethird Don’t forget to give her some love.)

Sneak Peek: The Land of Good and Evil

Betty had a passable concept of pain. She’d seen it on humans through the centuries. She knew how to alleviate it with angelic power. She herself had never experienced it, however. Nothing except Hellfire could actually affect her and that sort of thing wasn’t available at the local Home Depot.

Even Jughead never kept that stuff just lying around. He apparently didn’t want anyone getting their hands on it and using it to overpower the angel running the corner bookstore. He stored his Hellfire in the highest mountain peak of Gangkhar Puensum in Tibet, where humans are yet to reach its 24,836 foot high summit. Of course, he had no problem just snapping his fingers and fetching it in 2 seconds—as he did when that one night, he thought some avenging angel was trying to break into the bookstore, but he hadn’t had to use it (it turned out some lush just mistakenly tried to key himself into the store, thinking it was his apartment).

“Might be a great idea to rethink this arrangement,” he had said, a casual edge in his tone as they sat together in what had been companionable silence, her at her writing desk and him from the overhead bookstore loft, booted feet dangling through the railings. It was their first night at the bookstore after the Incident. “You know, given that heaven and hell are out to get us for actively cancelling that little thing called the Apocalypse.”

She had frowned, feeling herself getting upset all over again by this unpleasant topic. “I thought we agreed that the angels were at least too afraid of what God might do if they hurt me.”

He knew her moods far too well and he never liked upsetting her, so he appeared by her desk chair in seconds, having taken his spot on the footstool so that he was looking up and she was looking down.

His little scoff was slightly infuriating, but he distracted from her annoyance by taking her bare foot in his hands and massaging it with skillful ease. “All I’m saying is that nothing’s to stop them from claiming that they came here to hurt me and that you got caught in the crossfire.”

Ordinarily, their kind—angel and demon alike—were immune to touch, so massages do nothing, unless, of course, they allow sensations to permeate. When Jughead got this way, Betty’s default was to allow. She actively had to shut sensations down if she wanted to rebuff him.

After 3,000 years together on this plane, it was difficult to disconnect from him. Even when they were fighting, she couldn’t help but tell him about her day whilst telling him how horrible and conniving he was.

Right now, the gentle circling of his thumb was rolling pleasant waves from her ankle, up to her legs, which was an altogether welcome sensation, but she was fully aware of what he was telling her and she was having none of it. “I told you, you’re staying right here. Now that everyone knows we’re chummy, there’s hardly any point to you and I living in separate spaces. This way is expedient—to the work we do here on Earth, of course. And we don’t have to keep wondering where in the world the other is, so long as we diligently leave each other Post-It notes on the refrigerator door. Besides, it isn’t as if you have a choice. God didn’t restore your old place so you have nowhere to stay.”

He grinned, his hint of fang glinting against the candle light and his unearthly, icy blue gaze staring up at her in amusement. “I’m a demon, Betty. I don’t actually need a place to live.”

She felt pleased by the implication that while he didn’t need a place to stay, he was opting to stay in her bookstore anyway. “Nonsense. We all have our creature comforts. You aren’t immune to it either, ‘else God wouldn’t have given you back your Bentley. If you didn’t love it in the first place, you wouldn’t have kept that car of yours around for so long.”

He shrugged, conceding that point but continuing to massage her foot. “I concede. The Big Guy did elect to give us back the thing we love the most on this earth…your bookstore and my car.“

She arched her eyebrow, to which he replied with a wink. She scoffed.

He shrugged. “Doesn’t change the fact that I’ll always be a danger to you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Please.” A glass of wine appeared in one hand as she waved away his words with the other. Leaning back on her chair, she appeared to be enjoying the way his knuckles were pressing against the arch of her foot. “We thwarted the armies of heaven and hell and we survived execution. However ticked off the heavenly hosts and hoards of hell are with us, they very well know they are forbidden from killing us by God’s law, and by turn, Lucifer’s law. Even if it weren’t, they’ll be lucky not to shirt their pants coming after us.”

Betty maintained that the little trick they pulled during their respective executions—switching bodies, thereby preventing Betty’s annihilation by Hellfire and Jughead’s by Holy Water—was the best prank of the millenia. Betty suspected God knew everything that had happened, but as was His won’t, His plans were, as they say, ineffable.

Jughead let the argument drop after that, shifting his efforts to the massage, and later to cheekily coaxing her to be more daring about his ministrations.

He didn’t get far, of course. She didn’t let him (the nerve). Betty may be an angel of vice, but she drew the line at indulging him.

So all this meant was—on a fairly objective level, she understood what pain and pleasure was, but she never actually felt pain. She wasn’t even sure if she actually felt pleasure.

But now.

Waking up from an evening of excessive shots of tequila and hot sauce with Jughead, she felt a pounding headache.

Firstly, that she fell asleep at all was highly unusual, considering she hadn’t had to sleep a wink the last 3,000 years.

She could barely open her eyes without crossing them and she felt her groan actually reverberate through her body.

Secondly, she didn’t actually think “Oh, I have a headache!” What she thought was What in the Nine Hells is this?

Draped on a nearby chaise, Jughead was also waking from sleep. “Fuuuuuuuck!”

With his hands clutching his head, Jughead sat up and groaned. “Heaven’s Hemorrhoids, what am I—my head! My mouth. It feels disgusting!”

Jughead’s voice had never sounded so terrible.

Betty tossed a pillow and it went flying to his face. “Please be quiet. You are making it worse!”

They moaned and groaned for about a minute before Jughead looked up from his hands and stared at the table behind her. “Where is all the tequila?”

Betty looked up and noticed the empty bottles that surrounded them. Her jaw dropped. “They’re empty. They’re all empty, Jughead!”

“Thank you, Captain Obvious. Where did all of it go? Oh, my loving Satan, my head!” Though Jughead was clutching his head, he stood up, wobbled slightly, but determinedly went to the empty bottles, knocking a few down as he picked one up and sniffed its contents. “These are the same bottles. Where did it--Elizabeth, you don’t think--” He looked at her, eyes widening. “It isn’t still in us, is it?”

Betty couldn’t fathom that they hadn’t expelled it like they had the last 3,000 years. Half the alcohol they’d been consuming over the millenia had been consumed and re-consumed by them thousands of times, and they never forgot to put them back in the bottles after they were done getting drunk. They’d never actually kept it in their bodies.

An unpleasant feeling consumed her gut, and just as she began to get a sinking feeling that the alcohol was permeating her system, she realized in horror that she just very well might throw up.

All over her antique books.

She shot out of her chair, repeating the mantra she would give her customers: Down the hall, two doors to your left.

And when she threw the door open, she instinctively went to the nearest hole, which was the toilet, and hurled.

There’s the tequila.

********************

Suffice it to say, the alcohol was still obviously in their system, and Jughead, in his state of dehydration, went to the nearest bodega, purchased an entire case of bottled water, and sat both him and Betty down to drink it.

“I don’t know what’s happening, but my powers are going haywire and it looks like we need to expel the stuff the natural way,” Jughead said, chugging down one bottle and proceeding to open another. “At least for the meantime. Ugh, the indignity. Here--good, clean water.”

Betty glared at him through her miserable state. “New York water from the tap is the best in the country. Did you have to purchase those infernal plastic things--”

“Spare me your angelic environmental bullshit for the time being and drink up. Are your powers working for you?”

Her powers weren’t exactly cooperating, either, so she grumbled her response and began drinking the water he offered.

She felt her gorge rise again, but she managed to stifle it, stamping away the nausea with a deep breath and a cool gulp of Poland Springs.

Jughead, even with his bloodshot eyes and alcoholic stink, managed to grin. “Who knew you were such a lightweight?”

Betty made a face and stuck her tongue out at him.

He laughed and then sniffed himself. “Holy shit, I stink, Cooper.”

“I’m not feeling quite so fresh, myself. I can’t believe we actually need a bath.”

“Shall we do the environmentally responsible thing and share one?” He winked.

She rolled her eyes but she wasn’t in the mood to argue this point. “If you shut up, then yes.”

Jughead blinked in surprise, no doubt expecting to be shot down. When she didn’t take it back, he pouted. “You’re no fun when you have a hangover.”

[james-flint]

anon, i’m just gonna go ahead and assume you mean good omens

honestly, i’m not the best person to ask this because even though i read A Lot of fic i always forget to bookmark them. but i’ll try

first of all, if you somehow haven’t read a single fic yet and decide to choose just one from this post please read this one

how big the hourglass, how deep the sand by Handful_of_Silence

After the Apocalypse, and with characteristic slowness, both Crowley and Aziraphale think there might be something they need to sit down and talk about. And then Aziraphale disappears.

i know, it’s a classic. I always enjoy a good angsty fic and this one literally gave me chest pain, like every sentence punched me in the guts. and oh my god…… the Writing….. it’s just so beautifully written. AND it has a happy ending because we don’t read any others in this house. so good time all around

it also has a sequel and it’s equally amazing

other than these, i’m just slowly making my way through sorted by kudos page on ao3 so you might have seen all of these in other people’s recs but i’ll put them here anyway

In the (Second) Beginning by cherryfeather

As their lunch stretches on Aziraphale slowly comes to realize that Crowley is—enjoying him. Enjoying Aziraphale’s conversation, and company, far more openly than he has in most of Aziraphale’s memory. And Aziraphale knows that he himself is just chattering on, letting conversational tangents carry him along, and—it’s definitely relief, for him, knowing for the first time in a long time that they aren’t being watched, that no one is keeping score for now.

such surpassing brightness by Handful_of_Silence

The revelation that Aziraphale might have been in love with him for thousands of years is surprising. The fact that literal books have been written on the subject comes as even more of a shock.

basically all of this author’s works are my favourites

you knew my name on sight by brinnanza

“This wasn’t me, you know,” Crowley says, the words out of his mouth before he’s made the conscious choice to utter them. “Not just the library, but the whole civil war. You know me; I’ve mostly been getting drunk at Bacchanals.” “I know,” says Aziraphale.

and, so on by PaintedVanilla

Crowley doesn’t remember heaven, but Aziraphale remembers him.

uuuuhhhh this one!!! it has a mature rating but if you can maybe skip just one scene it’ll be so worth it i promise. a masterpiece

listen (he’s already told you five times) by darcylindbergh

Not everything Crowley says is said out loud. Aziraphale doesn’t always hear him at first, but he’s learning to stop being surprised.

how to get smote: 101 by ineffablemercury 

He’d made the mistake of kidnapping an angel. And not just any angel, no, but one who apparently had a demon on its side. Dammit.

this has an outside POV and protective crowley. i literally don’t need anythig else

On The Matter Of Touch by Somedrunkpirate

“On the matter of touch,” Crowley begins, waving his teaspoon in what he hopes passes for idle curiosity. “Thoughts?” For two ineffable husbands, they don’t really touch each other much. Here is a story on why that might be.

somebody recommended this fic on a post with my favourite art and want to thank them

a city wall and a trampoline by kafkian

In their cottage in the South Downs, when Crowley eventually succeeds in getting Aziraphale to use a laptop, it takes Aziraphale literal hours to get past the default Windows screensavers of picturesque locations because ‘oh, look, isn’t it lovely, Crowley!’

all i need, darling, is a life in your shape by deadgreeks

After everything, Aziraphale and Crowley, by unspoken agreement, begin sharing their lives.

Four times Crowley called Aziraphale “sweetheart” without noticing (and One time he did) by TheLadyZephyr

“Sweetheart” (1290) - A person who is very dear to another; one who is loved. From sweet (adj.) + heart (n.)

Over the years, Crowley has called Aziraphale “sweetheart” on at least four different occasions. He just hasn’t actually noticed himself saying it.

Any Other Name by mostlyanything19 (halfanapple)

What if Aziraphale’s name was originally “Aziraphael”, in keeping with the conventional spelling and pronunciation of other angel names, but because of its divine nature, Crowley is physically unable to say it out loud.

here i am, leaving you clues by Lvslie

It’s all the same burning bookshop, and I’m always inside shouting your name.

Stars Above You by Demorra (thebibliosphere)

“We can run away together,” he’d said, “Alpha Centauri, lots of space up there, no one would even notice us…”

Show/Tell by walkalittleline

It took Aziraphale approximately five thousand nine hundred and forty-five years—give or take a few months—to fall in love. It didn’t take Crowley nearly as long.

such selfish prayers by Lvslie

Crowley, while still apparently comatose, had somehow managed to wrap himself so thoroughly around Aziraphale on their way up, that any attempt at dropping him onto the mattress without being pulled down as well proved futile. And hence, quite defeated, Aziraphale found himself lying in a warm tangle of Crowley and blankets. He felt a little stunned.

you smiled (and it broke my heart) by TheIndianWinter

Aziraphale attempted a smile for him, but it was too sad to really be a smile.(Over the course of millennia, Crowley had grown quite familiar with the angel’s smiles. From the reluctant ones that tweaked at his lips after an off-colour remark from the demon, to the full-blown beatific expression of pure angelic joy that did strange things somewhere in the vicinity of Crowley’s stomach. He knew Aziraphale’s smiles. This was not one of them.)

“I’m thinking of closing the bookshop,” he said.

good for the soul by singingtomysoul

Aziraphale doesn’t feel guilty, for once, but has some things to confess. Crowley doesn’t think he has guilt, and doesn’t plan to confess anything. On both counts, he’s wrong.

the still point of the turning world by punkfaery

Crowley has an existential crisis. Aziraphale attempts to pick up the pieces.

Everybody Knows but You by writer_zo

Everyone seems to believe that Crowley and Aziraphale are in love. Everyone, however, has to be wrong, because (as Crowley knows) an angel could never love a demon and (as Aziraphale knows) a demon could never love an angel.

Snakes and Stones (Never Broke My Bones) by DeerstalkerDeathFrisbee

“How many people don’t believe I exist?” Crowley asks in the doorway. “I’m sure no – ” Aziraphale begins, only to be cut off by Gabriel and a reluctant Newton. “Everyone.”  

No one wants to say it, but the residents of Dorm A, floor 3, are collectively convinced Aziraphale Fell’s boyfriend does not exist. This is their story.

honestly never would have thought that I would read an au for this pairing and a college one at that but here we are

Inevitable, unavoidable by Lilian

Aziraphale gets amnesia and thinks Crowley is his husband when he sees him.

it’s exactly like that old video but with feelings

there are many more good fics that i forgot to add or haven’t read myself yet but these are the ones that stuck with me

[tessatechaitea]

Scarab #5

Scarab just learned how to use "whomst'd" correctly.

Maybe the sudden need for drugs was due to this character with my name trying to kill himself.

I hadn't actually gotten to the part where the guy notes he's on drugs or that he's surrounded by poppies so I think I just have to give credit to John Smith's writing for setting up a real "I'm fucking overdosing on pain killers" tone. Now I'm also jealous of a fictional nobody. If only I had too many painkillers right now, um, well, I'd probably never hit publish on this blog post and all five of my readers would be wondering, "When the fuck is Grunion Guy (or Tess (or Jeff (or whoever the fuck this asshole is))) ever going to finish reading Scarab?" According to my Non-Certified Sister-in-law, nutritionists have to report people for suicidal ideation. She told this to me because she's a nutritionist and I said to her one night at karaoke that my current retirement plan was to do whatever the fuck I wanted until my bank account was dry and then kill myself. But she never reported me so I guess she doesn't realize that's actually my retirement plan. Speaking of karaoke, I knocked another song off of my karaoke bucket list this week: "Like China" by Phil Collins. I fucked that song so hard on stage, some woman high-fived me and some other guy came up to me and thanked me for reminding him that the song exists. He was super drunk. Super drunk guys love me at karaoke. One time this guy whose name I believe was Creepy Kevin asked me, after I'd just sung "Everybody Knows," if I was doing it in the style of Leonard Cohen or Concrete Blonde. I said Concrete Blonde and he said, "Your voice really suits it." Which is when I stabbed him in the throat and tossed him in the dumpster out back with the leftover spring rolls from the night before because how dare he insult Johnette Napolitano! She has the voice of an angel and I have the voice of the person the angel walks on so that they don't have to get their feet dirty at the angel orgy. I know nobody is reading this and thinking, "What the fuck are you talking about?! What has happened to Scarab this issue?! Has Eleanor found her way home?!" How many people even remember that this comic book ever existed?! I just read four issues of it a week and a half ago and I almost forgot it existed! This issue is called "Paradise Defiled" which I just read although maybe my subconscious read it earlier (due to the comic being opened to that page and just sitting there on the scanner) which is why I was thinking about angel orgies. This guy Jeff is somebody Louis knows. An old woman — maybe his mother? — phones Louis to ask if he's seen him. So that's how Scarab gets involved with Jeff's suicidal problem. Meanwhile, Eleanor is sprouting ecotoplasmic rivulets. It's super gross. But this issue isn't about Scarab and Eleanor! At least I don't think it is. It's about Jeff waking up from his pleasant and relaxing overdose to find himself in an afterlife torture garden sex party. He totally hates it and I understand why. The place is first described as "a literal incarnation of a littoral world" and I have to stop myself from Googling "home lobotomy." The first tortured sex victim he meets is a guy strapped to a wheel with a bunch of knives in him spouting "Vertigo phrases." I explained "Vertigo phrases" in a previous commentary (or all of my previous Vertigo commentaries maybe?) but for those who somehow just stumbled upon this commentary because "every blog post is somebody's first" (although why Scarab #5 would be somebody's first is beyond comprehension), here's a nice example of "Vertigo phrasing."

It doesn't have to mean anything. It just needs to sound weirdly profound while making the reader feel like a real fucking smarty pants.

Jeff is taken to some Herod-like angel named Lord Colouris. He's also a bit like a cross between John Lennon and Jabba the Hutt. Did I just describe David Crosby? Lord Colouris declares he's going to make a new man out of Jeff and I don't think he means it figuratively. In the middle of the Garden stands the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. It bears the fruit of truth and whispers as skulls pile up beneath it from those feeding on its devastating pronouncements. Also, I sort of agree with what it's saying here:

Ninety-eight percent of this blog is me screaming from the anguish of losing the bliss of nonexistence.

Not that I think I'm evil. Nor do I believe in souls. But that whole anguish over the loss of nonexistence? That hits me fucking hard, bro. Look, it even made me call you bro. I'm hurting here, dude. See? I said dude too! The rest of what the tree says is meaningless gobbledygook. Something about sex tearing the flanks of God and a snake jerking it into a pot of clay like my junior high school classmate Chris Huff beating off in a breadbox. Maybe it makes sense to guilt-ridden Catholics but it's all wasted on me. I'm just wondering if I should do a Google search on a snake ejaculating. I've done it before for bats and let me tell you: there's a great video of a bat at a zoo sucking itself off in front of some kids! Truly a work of art. So privileged to live in this modern age and able to experience such wonders of this world! Lord Colouris turns Jeff into a monstrosity because he's trying to reform the lost souls that wind up in the Garden of Pain into his image before he fell from Heaven. But he can't do it because everybody who enters the Garden is tainted by their boring and uncreative lives. To finally make a work of art equal to his previous state of being, Lord Colouris releases all of his Frankenstein monsters into the world to hunt down a truly innocent and beautiful person who can provide the raw material for Lord Colouris's sculpture. Jeff is now one of them. Being uncreative morons, the monsters raid nurseries all over New York. Idiots. How many babies does it take to create an angel? Probably like millions! Some of the monsters seek out Eleanor because her leaking bodily fluids smell succulent and, I guess, virginal? I don't know. Like I said, she's gross. I hope they take her. Instead of Eleanor, the monsters accidentally take Scarab back to the Garden where he's quickly defeated by Colouris with a tree grown up through his guts. Then Scarab, like a true super hero, remembers that he can't be defeated if he just summons one last burst of strength and hope to overcome his enemy! Which he totally does by biting Lord Colouris's tongue off (because Lord Colouris was doing naughty things to Scarab. So naughty that I was embarrassed to discuss them). Then he punches Colouris in the throat and he barfs up the keys to all of his monsters' souls. Plus the key to his own soul which Monster Jeff helps Scarab find. Scarab recognizes him and thinks, "Fuck. Okay, I guess I'll just have to tell Jeff's mother he's dead." Then Scarab sticks the key in Colouris's head and the Garden dissolves into an empty room with a ticking metronome. That probably makes really smart people go, "Holy fuck! That's fucking brilliant! What a great reference or theory or idea or intelligent bit of philosophical scat!" And, um, that's totally what I said too. I'm not one of those morons who don't understand Vertigo comic books. Pshaw! Can you even believe uncool losers like that exist?! Scarab #5 Rating: You know how many things I had to look up on the Internet while reading this comic book? At least two! Maybe more but even two is a lot! Remember, I first read this in 1993 when most people didn't have Internet (and those that did were spending their time in AOL and Prodigy chat rooms with names like "Horoscope Lovers" and "Remember The A-Team?!"). So that's two things I definitely didn't understand when I read it the first time because you can believe that I was too lazy to pick up a dictionary in the middle of reading a comic book. And that's even assuming that I'm the type of person to own a dictionary! Man, stop embarrassing yourself with your lousy assumptions!