#i need to reread them a some point bc like. that energy is a vibe i DO want in some of my own stories

[captainshyguy]

i literally can only remember like half of the raven cycles plot beats at best, but im mentally running around in circles like an insane person just thinking abt the Character Vibes

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[jellifysh]

i’m a littleeee late

anyways, wanted to start this off by saying YOURE A BEAUTIFUL GENIUS

i had to do some testing today and got out right as the fic came out AND I AM IN LOVE with this. this is the perfect amount of cutesy fluff i needed in my life.

and god, can i f up our ex?!?! like i know he’s a bad guy but any guy who dismisses periods as a crack to their ego or reputation just make me want to pound their head

howeveerrrr, it made for a perfect cute scenario. i wanna say what melted my heart the most was learning about yoongis case against him. i doubt mc is gonna say a lot but they might get it outta her

the jin scenes completed me. he’s so cute and caring it’s adorable. he gives such grandma vibes with the food. the cutest food pusher ever.

and we got to see some mc and namjoon. they’re so cute. i think watching him fall in love with her again is just so adorable.

the yoongi scene was adorable. i love how comfortable they are with each other. the night tea was so cute cause you know he would do anything for her at this point.

they’re all so head over heels for her. always making sure she’s taken care of and happy. they’re literally the perfect boyfriend in my mind.

also, i found it funny how you mentioned kook and joons birthday since a while back you mentioned you forgot them cause of the time period

i’m not 100% sure if mc got a apron like jin’s and kooks but it might be cute

ALSOOOOOO OCTOBER:)) that means halloween. what if they took her to a halloween party and that’s where our stir up character enters and yk stir things up, this could also have a costume shopping trip. WHICH COULD HAVE A FASHION SHOW WITH EVERYONE

would there be like a conversation between hobi and jimin about their sexuality’s? you said in an earlier chapter that they’re the only ones who were sure they were 100% gay. or would you not be comfortable writing that? idk

what if on the trip the maknaes make a bet against everyone for you. like who could get the most hugs or something. if they were to have a talk realizing their feels they could be like “ I KNEW YOU LIKED HER EVER SINCE YOU GOT HER THAT BIG GIFT” yk?

i don’t know if you’ve said this before but would there be any parents? like mc going out to see her parents cause they came back from korea from a bit and the boys finding out. they could interrogate her like “ did you go on a date?”” no i went with my parents” and then namjoon jumps in all offended cause he loves them

welp that was a lot

favorite quote: “ you won’t be lifting a finger” i feel like it expresses jin’s whole character aura WHAT IF WE TOOK CARE OF HIM FOR A CHANCE??! sorry i’ll stop listing ideas

and i read ur abo dynamic idea and i LOVE IT. i would totally read it and then reread it it’s a great idea babe

last thing, could i be 🐈 anon?

that’s all i promise

bro i love long asks, okay, lemme break this up, I hope ur testing went well, and I'm glad the timing worked out

Your ex will be... you what I should look up legal processes... I actually don't know what kinda stuff goes into a lawsuit or court case or whatever 🥴 but he's gonna get taken care of i promise, I want it to be minor bc I want the focus on the boys rather than a bunch of boring legal stuff. The point is the extent that the boys will go for you rather than what happens to your ex. I haven't given him a name, I mean-- 😭 I could not care less abt him

Jin wuvs you, he wants you healthy and happy and warm, if this was an omegaverse au, he'd make your nests for you, and saying that Namjoon is falling back in love, implies that he ever fell out of love in the first place. I know, I said he falls back in love with you, but really, it was there the whole time. Yoongi just like spending time with you, your energy is addicting to him, and yes they are the perfect boyfriends

heehee yeah I just slipped the birthday thing in, who cares abt plot consistency? I cut out the stir character, or at least the level of importance they were going to have, but a Halloween party sounds fun. I actually forgot that Halloween existed, but if I can work it in I'll try to make it cute. And yknow I was gonna have a fashion show like, ch.8 but cut it out :P

I am going to have a part where hoseok and Jimin talk abt that, it's cute 👍 jimin is like "am I weird?" And hoseok's like "no she's just perfect"

The maknaes probably already do all those little contests. Like they'll wake i and be like, i bet i can make her say that i look cute first, and they'll be like, you're on, and then bother the mc all day. Also them calling out jimin for whisking her away on a beach trip and buying her a necklace with his initial and sharing a bed with her

The mc's parents will appear, i think I'm gonna have her come clean within the next couple chapters to them and like a reunion or whatever, they will spoil namjoon bc that's their boy, they haven't even each other in forever, they miss him, and namjoon's parents miss you too

I was going to have a chapter where you took care of jin, but then we already had the sick chapters and I felt like it'd be redundant but idk, maybe we could do it when we revisit the series, I want to have the main story complete and then the side part of them living in love and stuff

[ao3gingerswag]

AH I realise I never actually sent the kyis prompts I had in my mind after asking :') here's the first one that comes to mind bc my brain is too dead to think of any more than this random one:

Dean and cas go dog shopping for cas's new dog now that dean has officially moved out. idk if it would be like an actual guide dog or they would go the shelter for a dog for cas's instincts to take care off. maybe a combo of the two where they originally plan to get a professional guide dog but then impulsively decide to go to a shelter. I like the idea of the dog being a rescue but also not having loads of issues, if that makes sense? like I can either picture the dog being a rly energetic happy dog or like an old lady that's really chill and sweet (leaning towards the latter bc old dogs deserve love and I feel like it matches cas's vibes better). either way, I think it would be a point of comparison between the old and the new. cas is fully involved in the process, rather than gabriel just delivering to his door. also, it's healthy, bc it shows that cas isnt just getting another dog/thing to put more energy into more than himself. rather, it's so he can gain more independence, both from Dean but also as a person by himself. actually, building on the two types of dogs, maybe it would be cute if dean suggests the hyper dog bc he thinks it would be better for cas to put his energy into a dog to distract him, but then maybe cas notices the distinct lack of barking in the kennel next over as compared to the others, and then goes over and finds sweet old lady dog and falls in love with her. double points bc healthy communication from dean + cas making his own kinda selfish decisions. and then he takes this old kinda stubborn just most relaxed old lady home and totally dotes on her as she deserves but also knows that she's her Own Independent Woman and totally could survive by herself as she has before (jeez okay stopping myself before I right a whole backstory for this dog).

oh yeah and cas totally takes her to the place (I'm totally blanking on the name of the acc building bc again, dead brain but uno the one where all the therapy happens and jess and Kevin and whatnot. yknow.) and she accs as a cool therapy dog and just chills at cas's feet while he does his thing and it helps calm the peeps down.

sorry this was a total stream of consciousness I'm so tired and also I imagine her as like a small-medium sized mongrel who was probs a stray and had like loads of pups before she was found by the shelter and neutered and what not. by all accounts should be rly messed up but no. she's just a cool matriarch. living her life with her infinite wisdom. we love her.

@hooomdooom This is so cute!!! I am actually so embarrassed by what I wrote at the beginning of KYIS tho bc u cant get a seeing eye dog from a shelter but i was 17 and did not know that :/

i really love the idea of dean and cas going to get a seeing-dog together tho!!! and the metaphor of them going together instead of gabe just showing up as a metaphor for how cas has become fully involved in life and WANTS to be a part of the world now as opposed to before when he was just hiding in his home...YES u know i love a good metaphor!!!!

also!!! yes yesss the idea of dean being like haha how about this crazy one (internally being like cas still needs some sort of distraction right? now that im not around for him to fuss over?) and cas is like actually i just need a seeing eye dog not a Project anymore :)) ill take this chill older dog bc i just need a dog that is chill like me :)) another!!! awesome metaphor!! hooomdooom u never miss!!!!!

these are such cute ideas ugh they're making me miss KYIS....maybe someday i can return as i promised i would....someday like this summer....but thats what i said last summer too so. we will see. in any case im so glad u r enjoying rereading it hooomdooom and thank u so much for the prompt!!

[quidfree]

just screamed over your fem todobaku it was endlessly entertaining and I’m sure to be rereading it every two weeks from now on... the way katsuki pieces things together and the absurd setting is everything I wanted and more TT!!! For prompts.. tdbk’s relationship in the eyes of their classmates? That moment in a prev fic where momo is like yeah I’m with jirou now 🤗n then tdrk goes oh me too but w bkg is forever embedded into my brain lmfaooo like what does everyone make of this insane pair

pftttttt glad it fulfilled your expectations anon i love writing half-serious todobaku pieces where they are still 50/50 strategic geniuses and emotional morons as per canon but the setting is increasingly absurd. i don't know what the context was for giant deku in that sketch but the visual was too good. date-crasher deku at it again.

as for ur prompt i do love the concept bc i live for third party pov content but i would find it v hard to get done in the prompt format bc 1) honestly a lot of the 1A students (etc) don’t have very defined personalities lol and 2) when it comes to those who do i have too much to say to do this in an hour. however i can give you some bulletpoint summaries of the BNOCs (and if you have any specific niche classmates whose take you want do let me know). with that being said...

kirishima: forever and always a supportive bestie and thus leader of the todobaku fanclub. i mean just read my fic yknow. 1000% called it on bakugous side first (and/or bakugou told him) and has been enthusiastically supportive ever since. hes a big ol romantic really and also unironically thinks todobaku is the manliest of pairings (and totally made for each other, bro!!) so hes beyond stoked when they do get together. hes one of their most comfy third wheels bc he and bakugou r very close and he and todoroki r also good friends so no one is like on uncomfortable/uneven footing and hes unfazed by the ups and downs of their relationship bc hes used to both of their antics. the secret-keeper.

i don’t have enough separate intel on the rest of the bakusquad but they’re 1) completely thrown by the revelation that after years of wheedling and trying to set bakugou up into surprise dates he is not in fact ‘work-sexual’, and to top this off is actually into todoroki of all people 2) obnoxiously supportive, as you would expect. secretly they’re all kind of defensive of bakugou’s fragile heart (citation needed) and so nervous about how the whole thing is gonna work out but when it becomes apparent todoroki does not have better sense they relax and just become excessively nosy. like to complain that bakugou and todoroki weren’t content dominating their year academically and professionally they also had to steal out 2 of the country’s most eligible bachelors, the selfish bastards.

camie: second leader of the todobaku fanclub, idc. clocks it ahead of literally anyone else in their friend group bc she just, like, got that vibe, you know? theres a multitude of equally blunt and inappropriate ways in which she addresses this vibe (calling them out in person when theyre years away from it, trying to not especially artfully orchestrate a get-together, etc) and they are all very unsuccessful. shes ‘lowkey mad bakugou stole her potential man’ but ‘finders keepers’ so once they’re past that she’s all for it since she correctly thinks they r freaks best suited to e/o and also honestly probably thinks bl is cute or something. todoroki and bakugou both endure her encouragement very long-sufferingly. big double dater energy.

yaoyorozu: not at all in the first to clock gang, bc honestly the idea she has of todoroki is still a lil idealized/inaccurate and certainly does not involve dating bakugou; the initial reveal is inevitably delivered very casually to her as she scrambles for a polite reaction. she’s kind of wary of the whole thing at face value but close scrutiny leads her to conclude they’re actually not-terrible together. upon reaching this conclusion she begins making earnest overtures towards a very confused bakugou bc she figures she may as well make the effort to get to know him better. i always hc her as having had a crush of some variety on todoroki at some point so theres probs a bit of wistfulness involved and also a far larger ‘nvm dodged that bullet’ energy bc todobaku r romantically a mess and a half. to her despair she is extremely weak to camie’s todobaku gossip.

uraraka: to everyone’s vague bewilderment, a secret todobaku stan from the get-go. you could say this is bc it leaves deku solidly open but honestly she just has similarly odd friendships with todoroki and bakugou and it’s like a persistent guilty thought of hers that they’re kind of well-suited somehow. she often tells todoroki he can do better just to wind bakugou up but would be the first to take bakugou’s side if he actually did. she really enjoys them together bc she finds somehow they’re easier to tease- it humanizes them both further to be weak to dumb emotions. she plays counsellor sometimes but like subtly bc she knows better than to give outright advice.

iida: completely blindsided by the information, also spends several months in the grips of insomnia convinced that both their friend group and japan are doomed given the inevitable dramatic breakup. then he spends a singular day hanging around them at work or something and realises that his imagined version of them as a couple was in fact completely off-base bc they’re just overly intense workaholics who are too single-focused to ever bother splitting up. also top 1 most likely friend to launch into a completely sincere defense of them and their relationship in response to like the laziest off-color paparazzi bait comment.

midoriya: where to begin honestly. he def gets weird vibes from them throughout the whole usual melodrama but 200% does not come to the right conclusions. when he finally gets the news broken to him (never gently) his brain breaks a little. it’s mainly the bakugou element bc kacchan is.. kacchan and like.. not necessarily fundamentally someone midoriya has ever imagined harboring human interest in another living person. also todoroki in a parallel way has always struck him as resoundingly disinterested in relationships mainly bc hes kind of above them. of course once he sets to theorising he can connect some dots to bakugous various jealousies over the years and also todorokis pretty open staring and wow he is not very good at connecting dots actually. anyways once he recovers from the shock i think theres a variety of ways in which he takes it bc honestly it is very weird that his best friend and his .. closest friend (?) who have always primarily interacted through or due to him now have this competing private relationship. regardless obv he is intensely supportive in like, the typical kind of overbearing midoriya way. i sometimes make it so its just one of those things that everyones cool with but also the details will always be something midoriya and bakugou do not want midoriya to know bc Awkward, vs other times i make him super cool w it to the extent that hes just overenthusiastic and todorokis all oh. sure. thanks :) while bakugou loses his shit. he does genuinely think they’re a really good fit upon reflexion, and since he’s best suited to knowing why he’s p much always correct in his assessments. its one of those things where each duo in the trio has the capacity of playing up the subject matter to the third party’s detriment, tho when todoroki is the third party he’s less embarrassed by bakudeku’s todobaku discourse and more enduring their various bizarre friendship rituals + the serious physical damage they usually precede.

also aizawa clocks them first and is like oh god please no this is going to take at least 5 years to implode and will age me 10 years in the process

[cowboypossume]

so i reread keeper of the lost cities and here’s my fresh input:

a note before we begin: you know how people fake throw up at things on tik tok? this book is the reason i now unironically do that.

dex and fitz really have the enemies to lovers troupe going for them and i’m ok with it. i really am.

so do sophie and biana at the beginning but it fizzes out so a better description is enimies to friends to lovers

marhella and stina give me such power top energy i cannot express how much i think that contributes to people not liking them

speaking of stina i wish sophie didn’t just immediately hop onto the bandwagon of “oh she’s evil” without investing further, especially with how much she is written as a ‘good’ person (which i can and will defend to the day i die that good people don’t exist but that’s for a different day).

there’s way too much heteronormativity and Patriarchical Ideas mushed into the book. like three hole pages of a 488 page book of teenagers being like “oooooo girls like guys and guys like girls” only for della to join in. not to mention the amount of times keefe is the reason for those ideas because he’s teasing like “oh fitz has a girlfriend”

keefe and fitz didn’t have as many bonding moments™️ in this book as i remember, but they stil know each other really well, have comfortability around each other, and would make a 10/10 best friends to lovers troupe.

oh my god s o many crushes i swear. like two teenagers of the opposite gender really can’t not like each other apperantly

i miss read a line and really thought there was cannon sexism for me to do a whole ass rant about in the notes part of my analyzation but n o p e

but we do have classism, sexist stereotypes, and the fact that there’s been SO many characters who’ve spoken and ✨🌺far too many of them are white🌺✨

oh also: no ones disabled. which annoys me because their society is described as ‘euptopic’ almost implying that it’s something that makes people problematic, which,,,, no

ok a side note on the society, i understand that the story’s message (kinda) is that things that seem perfect are probably deeply flawed, but something tergan said stuck with me. on a page i can’t remember at the moment he says something like “[the black swan exists] in a society that doesn’t have rebels”, which it suck with me bc that’s boarderline dystopic if it’s not there already. it’s one thing for laws not to be broken, but when you think your society is so perfect despite it having obvious flaws and you think that no one rebels, then i really hate to break it to you, you have a massive rebellion about to occur; it’s just scented as foul under your resplendent nose.

please stop flirting. i get its part of teenagers being teens but i swear if i read “s/he realeased a breath” or “their heart fluttered” or literally ANYTHING like that god no.

yall. i missed dex. he actually has more role in this book than ‘you can gadget and we need one’ and oh boy i really missed him. he’s a BEAN and deserves better.

hole’s said everyone deserves better and i absolutely agree so we’re adding that note here.

if you do what i did and read this book out loud to one of your best friends who has no clue anything about this weird fandom and give fitz a really deep voice for no reason it’s comdy GOLD.

i really think i’m reading too much into this point but iggy seems,,,, symbolic to me?

like ok with humans, sophie didn’t ‘fit in’, right? like she grew up hearing things like “why can’t you be normal like your sister” (which i can do a whole other rant about how that will affect her for the rest of her life just a s k)

not to mention looking really different from her family and graduating high school at age twelve 

but you know who never judged her?

m a r t y

so anyway sophie meets this teal-eyed, movie star smiled wonder boy who takes away her entire knowledge of everything she’s known while taking away her family too

and it turns out even in a place of weirdos she still manages to be the exception to everything

and she doesn’t have the comfort to hear what people are really thinking about her anymore (which as i said before say the word and i’ll deadass write a whole speech about how everything she heard will completely fuck up every relationship she has) which unfortunately means that she grew used to confirming people didn’t like her but now she doesn’t have that

she has to adapt to this new space and feel like she’s always felt, like an outcast in a place that was accepting, but yet again, she the exception to everything

but about halfway through the book she starts to become more comfortable around grady and edaline and that’s when iggy comes in

she finds him while cleaning garbage, and grady compliments her. they have a bonding moment and it’s because of this t h i n g. and then sophie actually feels proud not only does she take up a room, but she did something

and her new parents are proud of her

so she finally feels like she BELONGS because she helped out at the place where she lives/they work

to me it seems iggy is kinda a manifesto of the world building and character development that happens in this book

i think the plot/character arc is fixated a little too much on how different sophie is. like, i get it, she’s exception to everything, but the plot really didn’t need her to be that quirky. yes, she’s different, but there’s a lot more to the plot and her character than how different she is.

also, i had to reread pages a lot bc i needed an exact paragraph number and,,,, it’s really paced like a fanfic

some questions i have about the society is:

it’s established that they use books, physical papers, etc., and the only thing i remember about trees is the speech alden gave her about how she doesn’t know the name of their most popular tree, and the fact that people become trees when they die. even then i don’t think the second one is in this book. never o n c e do i remember something about planting trees that aren’t dead elf’s, so do they feel the affects of deforestation and that jazz?? like if they use trees, will they run out of them? can they??? and do they use the coffins of elf’s for paper??

this is more of a rant than a question, but here it goes anyway. in foxfire, students have a testing system very similar to the one in america: a huge test at the end of the year determines the future of a student. that in of itself doesn’t sound too drastic, right? well,,,,, not necessarily. several studies have shown that tests in general, but especially these types, don’t work. despite how good or bad of a teacher i think my past and current teachers have been, every single one of them hates this system that we have in place. they know it’s an unfair assessment that does it’s damnist to make you fail, and they’re trying so hard to denounce it. however, that doesn’t happen at all in the lost cities. in fact, most of the teachers pride themselves on failing students. so if elf’s are in such an advanced society, why do tests still exist? especially in an environment where the consequences are far greater than just staying back a grade. 

so sophie’s figuring out that major problems exist in the world the elf’s created, right? i wonder if more society structured problems exist more than ‘oh bad people do things and the law justifies which is what’. like, as i’ve previously stated, there’s sexist stereotypes presented (like girls like dresses and guys don’t), but does sexism still exist? does racism exist? it’s established that poverty isn’t a thing because of the fund elf’s have at birth and their limited usage of money (which if you understand please explain bc i don’t really get how they buy stuff but still don’t use money) but if someone gets shipped off to exile, do they lose their money? is it possible for elf’s to starve to death because they can’t afford food? do they pay for food?? if they did starve who would they call? because someone on this website, who’s post i tried to find but i couldn’t so if y’all know what i’m talking about please link it, brought up a good point that elwin is a school physician, he shouldn’t be dealing with the near-death experiences sophie has, so who would they turn to? especially if they don’t have access to foxfire because they got exciled??

is therapy a thing in this world? sophie and dex could really benefit from it, yet mental health has only been brought up when someone went insane, which REALLY shows how little they think about it.

that perfectly transitions into my next point: sophie and dex’s trauma. i really don’t get the vibe that there was much thought going into their kidnapping, other than sophie needed something to trigger her inflecting ability and establish the black swan are on the good side, which really sucks because wow trauma doesn’t happen lightly. and the fact that it happened seems rushed to me, but i’ll come back to that. but anyway, their trauma doesn’t get developed that deeply in this book because it wasn’t given the space to. they were beaten, tortured, starved, gagged, and who even knows what else for t e n d a y s, only for them to find them again, repeat the process, but someone saves them and dumps them into an illegal city and they both nearly die from dehydration, coldness, and lack of concentration, and you’re telling me after three days of conscious of bed rest sophie wants to get her failing out of school over with? ma’am, it takes more time than that to adjust to THAT alone, not to mention the realization that “hey your entire life is fake because people genetically altered you to be their weapon in a war so much bigger than yourself” that was recently dumped on her. like,,,, you really expect me to think that three days is what made her feel prepared and CONFIDENT? no sir. i don’t buy it.

coming back to it being rushed: the book starts out slow and then really hits the ground running and doesn’t stop. so much more stuff happens in the second half of the book than the first and it never gets fully developed it feels like. in the first half sophie moves away but gets a new family and struggles a bit but adapts, fires maybe but hey don’t worry about it, dex hates fitz, fitz is ✨d r e a m y ✨ but our main girl doesn’t like him like that, right?, stina’s a bitch, and sophie is a quirky girl and telepath but can’t tell anyone. pretty basic stuff, not too plot intensive. the second half though: sophie almost fails her midterms but doesn’t, grady and elaine want to unadopt her (which that’s never really explained as to why they do that but ok) fires exist in san degio but they’re fine but they’re actually a rebel elf so..., sophie accidentally breaks a law but it was an accident so it’s fine, update on the fires: sophie burns herself trying to get the evidence that it’s a rebel elf and it works, she’s the moon lark and basically a weapon bc no one knows her well enough to evaluate her safety, sophie and dex get kidnapped but fitz can now transmit to her and she has two new abilities so it’s all good, trauma doesn’t exist except for nightmare you can fix with sedatives, sophie doesn’t fail out of school, and yayyy her family doesn’t want her remove their adoption. there’s probably a lot more that i missed, it’s just that’s a LOT of stuff crammed into a little bit further than the second half of the book that really could have been devolped or explore further instead of forcing into less than 244 pages, ya know?

fitz’s eyes are mentioned seven times, the first time being on page TWO of the novel

his smile is mentioned three times

alden says “no reason to worry” five times, he writes it once, and sophie points out he says it a lot so he chances it slightly to something like ‘don’t stress about it’ so i didn’t count those though i should have

speaking of alden, in this book he’s absolutely creepy, but something that stands out to me is how much he calls sophie girl. i didn’t count it, but he said “that’s a good girl” to sophie too many times for it to be normal especially when you consider how he doesn’t do it to anyone else.

i kinda forgot i was annotating for sophie’s anxious habit of pulling out her eyelashes so i got she did it twice, but i highly doubt that number

but i will keep adding to this when i actually do the words with my annotations.

[judesstfrancis]

ok but now i'm really intrigued about the parallels you draw between Martin and Jude (only if you feel like talking abt it of course!)

I don’t have a very coherent answer for this, unfortunately, one day I’m gonna get off my ass and like. actually hunt down different lines from each source and Compare them pero I’m too lazy for that rn so.

the basis of this is that while I was listening to tma the first time I was also rereading a little life and my brain went “these two characters are The Same,” and in fact I think that’s what made me latch onto martin so quickly as a character, bc I saw him as a direct parallel of jude. they just give me the same vibes! both friend shaped and doing their best and I’d like to protect them even tho I know they’re both ultimately doomed

but also:

there’s a lot to be drawn I think from character background and especially how that relates to their motives later on. they both clearly have trauma, one’s more explicitly stated than the other’s, but those traumas lead them ultimately in the same direction - where they have no limits when it comes to what they might have to do to protect themselves and those around them, even when the cost of protecting those around them comes largely at a detriment to their own well-being. they both have personal boundaries, of course--jude won’t bother with jb for a large part of the novel bc of the way he directly disrespects jude, however unintentional, and martin knows what bothers him enough to say No I Cannot Do This For You, It Isn’t Good For Me--but in large part, their common thing is that, while they want to keep themselves secure and safe, this is often ignored or its importance is de-elevated in favor of putting in the energy to make sure the people they care about have that same security and safety. they both give away parts of themselves to the point of self-isolation with the idea that self-isolation is what it takes to make sure their friends are taken care of--the idea that they are, ultimately, a bother, and it doesn’t really matter what happens to them so long as they do what they can to make sure everyone around them is okay. they need to be useful, more than anything, bc they were never shown that they can be appreciated and cared for without having to be useful.

a large motivator for both of them also, I think--and I know this directly contrasts with what I already said but like I said this isn’t the pretty, well-organized post I could make--is that they never want to feel that insecurity and trauma that they felt before. jude works to become the best lawyer he can so that he can make sure that he has enough money that what happened to him in his past can never happen to him again. and he doesn’t care how he gets there! he doesn’t have time to care about people he doesn’t know, because the same care wasn’t afforded to him and so he’s going to do whatever he has to. martin lies on his resume, fabricates a new background, hides everything about himself and creates something else so that he can dig himself out of the whole he’s found. so that he never has to want for anything again, can keep himself secure, first and foremost. a large part of it is, of course, having to take care of his mother, but look--given the situation I think we can probably all agree that having financial security is about a Lot More than just wanting your mother to be comfortable and cared for, like there are obviously some complicated emotions there but in this position we have to assume that after having to give up everything at such a young age to care for someone who doesn’t really afford you the same attention, having this amount of financial security is significantly more about being free.

it’s a complicated thing, I think. they want to have that security and they don’t want to feel lost or alone again, but in trying to give that same security and love to their friends/to the people in their lives that matter the most, they take away a little bit of their own security. they end up feeling lost and alone regardless, even if that isn’t true anymore. they kind of remove themselves from their interpersonal relationships, in a way, bc they give so much of themselves away in order to afford that security to their loved ones but don’t allow any of that to be given back to them. they don’t think they deserve it, bc it’s their job to give it, and isn’t it asking a little much to want it back in return? so they end up in something of a deficit. u know what I mean? (again, they both very obviously have boundaries and hard lines that they aren’t willing to cross, or aren’t willing to let anyone else cross, I’m just saying like In General.)

idk what the tl;dr of this all is bc this is genuinely how much it took to translate all my thoughts into real words, pero.....martin and jude same character amen

[cookinguptales]

It was so hard to pick out of 75 questions so I hope this is ok 😬💦 2, 13, 18, 19, 25, 28, 29, 30, 33, 39, 42, 46, 47, 54, 58, 67, 71 (Doesn't have to be the romantic kind), 73, and 75

Oh wow, jeez. haha. OKAY I’mma do it, but I’mma put it under a cut bc this can only be long.

2. Who is your hero?

You know, I feel like I learn about amazing people all the time?? There are so many people in history who have done so many cool things. I love the information age we live in where we can here about heroes every damn day. But if I had to pick one that means a lot to me specifically, possibly Helen Keller. Like sure she did the whole learning to talk while blind/deaf thing, but she also became a hardcore social activist! If you read her writings, she was not even in the vicinity of fucking around, and I’m here for that.

13. What is your favorite book to read?

Hmm. My comfort read used to be Howl’s Moving Castle, but I haven’t read it in years. That’s...a bummer... Maybe I should reread it soon.

18. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be?

Hmm... I mean, if we’re talking on like a magical level, then a pain-free, exhaustion-free day would be swell. I’d be happy doing just about anything. If you mean in a more normal way, then I think I’d be happiest traveling somewhere really cool with a friend and having a nice meal and seeing beautiful sights.

19. What is your favorite game or sport to watch and play?

Hmm. I mean, I don’t play/watch sports that often. Disability and all. But I used to do tae kwon do and karate fairly regularly, and I really enjoyed that. I usually really only watch games/sports during the Olympics, but I enjoy speed skating, figure skating, gymnastics, archery, women’s weight lifting... Um... I watch the Super Bowl for the commercials? lol. Honestly, my favorite part of watching sports is watching the winners cry haha. That’s why I like the Olympics best.

25. Who is your favorite author?

Probably either Diana Wynne Jones or Neil Gaiman. I’ve read a lot of books by a lot of authors that I’ve liked (and admittedly both of them have some stuff in their work that makes me raise my eyebrows now) but I feel like both of them really shaped me from a young age. I was devastated when DWJ died.

28. In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read?

Most of my reading energy is taken up by school stuff now, but hopefully I’ll start to get to read again come graduation. In the meantime, I like to watch movies best. I livetweet them a lot haha.

29. Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why?

WELL I have actually gone to Alaska before! I really liked it, honestly. It was beautiful up there. And nice and cold! Which is good for the POTS, haha. But I think if I had to choose a future vacation I’d choose Hawaii just because I’ve never been there! And there are some shrines I’d love to visit.

30. Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why?I mean... The job I’d really like to do now certainly wouldn’t pay as much as the lottery, but it’d keep me comfortable. I mean. I guess it’d be great to win the lottery so I wouldn’t have to worry about working (which, as a PWD, can be...stressful) but not to put too fine a point on it, my current living situation is one where I don’t need to worry too much about money. I’m incredibly lucky on that front, I know. If I were as poor as I was about ten years ago, this would be a much easier choice. XD Though research does show that a lot of people who win the lottery end up getting fucked over by taxes, friends, etc. so. maybe not.

33. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to?

I MEAN... I’m a gay, disabled woman. Going back in time probably wouldn’t be great for me, haha. But I guess I’d love to hear some of the old jazz musicians I love play live...

39. List two pet peeves.

Motherfucking DISCREET and DISCRETE which are TWO DISCRETE WORDS. There was a moment once when someone tried to assure me that “discrete” was just the British spelling and I just. I JUST!! Like if I were in the Cell Block Tango, that would probably be my prison origin story. I also hate it when strangers ask about my cane/disability.

42. If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have?

uhhhhhHHHhhhh teleportation powers which I would mostly use to get to class on time but also maybe catching babies when they fall out windows or whatever. That happens, right?

46. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?

Geez. I mean, on a big scale? Like Hitler? Bro, don’t put that much pressure on me!!! If you just mean in my own life, I’d probably just tell little!me what POTS is haha. If I have to change like. A personal decision?? I might have decided to do a different program while I was in Japan. It was very expensive (through my school) and I didn’t get to do a lot of the things I really wanted to do.

47. If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be?

HONESTLY, a lot of the major heads of religion. Like. I just think it’d be so interesting to talk to them about philosophy and what they’d think about where their religions are at now. Like even if you don’t believe in the religions, people generally believe that people like Jesus, Mohammad, Siddhartha Gautama, etc. lived.

54. What's your favorite holiday?

HALLOWEEN, BY A COUNTRY MILE!!! I love Halloween! Lots of great spooky stuff and yummy treats and fun parties. I love Halloween SO MUCH.

58. What's your favorite type of foreign food?

I LIKE A LOT OF THINGS... In Japan, I think I loved curry and takoyaki and onigiri best. Some of the octopus and lemon chicken/soup/etc. in Greece was delicious. I loved like ALL the food I had in Barcelona. Tomato bread and jamon iberico and olives and everything was just high quality and delicious?? We just ate our way around La Boqueria (a giant market) one day and I loved it. I like poutine from Canada and pasties from the UK and basically anything cooked in red wine from France. haha. I’ve only had Thai food and Moroccan food in the US (so who knows if it’s accurate) but I love massaman curry and bastilla and Moroccan lemon chicken. I am a big fan of sweet and savory meat dishes, haha. Oh, and Afghan Palow!! Delicious.

I PROMISE I ALSO EAT FRUITS AND VEGGIES... I also like lots of international alcohols haha. Ouzo and absinthe (taste similar), champagne/prosecco/cava (cava was SO CHEAP in barcelona, rip), sake (especially nigori sake)...

67. What is your favorite childhood memory?

Jeez, that’s a hard one. I feel a certain nostalgia for the natural vibe from where I lived as a kid. (In other words, the people and buildings and stuff were fine, but I feel nostalgic for the natural phenomena.) Like the smell of fresh soil and the sound of the woods and rustling fields of corn. But like a specific memory... Long before we moved to FL, my parents did surprise us with a trip to Disney World when I was about 8! We were visiting a Floridian friend (who we later moved in with when we lost our house) and driving down and thennnn my dad “made a wrong turn” and checked us into the Wilderness Lodge just outside the Magic Kingdom. We drove up like RIGHT as the fireworks started over at MK so my sister and I were kind of in shock haha. It was really fun.

71. What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love?

I WENT TO THE MUSICAL CATS. I kid, Loo. (Mostly.) I’m not really the kind to do big OTT things for love, but I think I am the kind to hurt myself for it, unfortunately. I loved a girl for a long, long time, and in retrospect, I realize that I allowed her to devalue me in ways that I’m still trying to undo. We were never together or anything -- I have a habit of falling for straight girls -- but boy did I get fucked up. Like...viewing this through my current lens, I can’t believe I let that go on for so long. It was crazy. There are a lot of reasons why I believed I was lesser and unlovable because of my disability, and I realize now that some of that started with her and another friend of mine. I just kind of wished that I’d figured that out before they ditched me for good and told me it was because I always “made everything complicated”. (I’d been late to a get-together because I was at the doctor...) I...cried a lot. haha. But I ended up becoming closer to my best friends today as a result, and learning a lot about myself. So I guess maybe it was for the best, even if it hurt at the time.

OH I’VE ALSO GOTTEN IN FIGHTS FOR LOVE but that was more for friends. I’d kick anyone’s ass in high school, or if we weren’t in an avenue where I could do that, I’d yell a lot or say stuff that was just, ah, really cutting. haha. I have...a protective streak. And I was frustrated about a lot in high school. Our school had martial arts classes, which was a good outlet. I was known as someone who could, uh, get things done. Um.

73. What was your favorite subject in school?

Uhhh. If we’re just talking high school, maybe math?? English if I had a really good English teacher. I love reading/writing. But math was comforting, in a way. Math is very solid. I also enjoyed French. And I enjoyed a lot of fibercraft techniques in that class, but hated the teacher. Womp womp. I liked making things with my hands. I found batik particularly comforting.

75. Do you collect anything?

I collect tarot decks! I’ve studied the history of tarot before, and I’m always really fascinated with the way that people attach meaning to mundane objects. I kind of love how tarot was basically just playing cards for rich people until a series of weird events and people started using them for divination. Now people rarely use them for anything else. That kind of applied religious/personal meaning is super interesting to me. PLUS a lot of them are very pretty. Haha.