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turtles-invoked · 2 months ago

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What if Dean sleeps better when Cas is around?

I know, I know. All he needs is his four hours. And that’s all he “needs” because he’s trained himself to be a light sleeper. To be on constant look out for danger, to protect Sam. And maybe that’s why he’s irritable most of the time, because that’s not rest. He’s exhausted.

But with Castiel around, an angel, who doesn’t sleep, Dean finds himself napping when he usually wouldn’t.

Like at the bunkers dining table, Cas and Sam are going over the lore. Dean’s eyes start to ache so he leans back, crosses his feet at his ankles, his arms over his chest, and allows himself to doze off.

When he wakes what feels like a couple minutes later, Sam is no where around but Cas is still there, in the same spot, just sitting there. Not reading, not watching Dean, but just sitting, just being.

“Hello, Dean,” he’ll greet as Dean sits up, rubs his face, and checks the time to realise he’s been asleep for half an hour.

“Where’s Sam?” He asks sitting up straight and looking around.

“Burrito run.”

Dean breathes and relaxes and when Sam returns, they eat and continue research

Or when…

Between cases Sam and Dean would do movie nights. They’d sit on the couch in front of the TV, Sam’s Netflix loaded, and a big bowl of popcorn between them. Sometimes Cas would join, and everytime he did, Dean would nod off towards the end of the movie.

Like tonight. Cas picked a sappy Disney movie, Dean’s not even sure he knows what it’s about but his eyes have been closed for most of the movie. Cas is into it, and Sam hasn’t complained.

There’s been a few times now Dean has jolted himself awake, his head lulling then his eyes closing heavier, and heavier, until his jolts himself up again, this time bumping Cas, knocking the bowl of popcorn slightly, a few kernels littering his lap.

He mumbles a sheepish, “sorry,” and sits back upright. But he feels it happening again. He leans his head back, but that hurts his neck so he repositions himself slightly hunched and arms crossed.

He feels Cas lean into his side a bit, their shoulders touching now. Dean swallows the butterflies and sinks into the couch a little further, his head now in line with Cas’ shoulder. He leans to his right and ever so slowly, sinks his head onto the support next to him. He closes his eyes and within seconds he’s asleep, and drooling slightly, on Cas’ shoulder.

He doesn’t wake until the movies down and Cas taps a hand on his thigh, gently stirring him out of his slumber.

Or how about…

During a hunt they go back to their motel to get some rest. Sam falls asleep very quickly, his big brother watching over him. Dean tosses and turns for an hour and a half before he walks to the bathroom to splash some water on his face.

He stares at his exhausted face in the mirror, bags under his eyes, hair a mess and sighs. He runs his damp hands through his hair and walks back out. Sitting at the edge of his bed is none other than Cas, examining the gold knife on Dean’s bedside table.

“Hello Dean,” he greets quietly, placing the knife down and looking his way.

Dean huffs out a sigh and gives him a weak smile, walking over and sitting next to him.

“No progress?” He asks probably already knowing the answer.

“No,” Dean replies.

“Trouble sleeping?”

“Most nights,” Dean admits truthfully, his cheeks warming at the admission.

Cas nods, “I’ll watch over you,” he says matter of factly.

“That’s not necessary,” Dean chuckles scratching the back of his neck nervously, but Cas had already risen off of Dean’s bed and towards the kitchen.

Dean sat still and listened to the sound of the angel making himself comfy at the little round table before he allowed himself to get comfy in the bed.

Dean tucked himself in, shut his eyes, and listened as Cas read through one of Sam’s books they he had left out, the pages turning every couple of minutes until he fell asleep.

Or even when….

They were driving back to the bunker, a 13 hour trip. Dean can feel himself having to squint every couple of blinks to keep the tired out of his eyes. They’re only half way through but they didn’t sleep the night before.

“Dean?” Cas asks from the passenger seat, worry tracing his voice.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he says pulling the car over when the bank opens up wide enough.

Sam stirs in the back and sits up, “my turn?” He asks sleepily.

“Yeah,” Dean sighs and gets out of the car, stretching wide. He wipes his face and waits for Sam to peel himself out of the back seat.

Cas gets out too and Dean shoots him a questioning stare, “I would like to sit with you.” Is all he says.

Dean feels his face flush, “dude, the whole point is so I can lay down and sleep.” He says as Sam stretches, and downs a bottle of water. He hands another to Dean who takes a few sips before lidding it.

“Okay,” Cas says as if the situation was obvious to him and still gets into the back.

Sam looks at Dean, eyebrows high and a smirk plastered on his face as he chuckles and takes his seat behind the wheel.

Dean rolls his eyes, sighs, then wipes his hands down his face before climbing into the back.

They take off and Dean leans his head against the window closing his eyes, but every now and then a bump in the road knocks his head off and it’s starting to become uncomfortable. He lifts his head up and leans back. It’s not as uncomfortable but his neck hurts in this position. He sits back up and rubs his eyes.

“Dean,” Cas whispers.

He looks over to him, his left arm is resting along the back of the bench, his right beside him in his lap, his hand taps his thigh twice gently.

Dean swallows and looks out his window, his heart suddenly pounding but the need for sleep is so strong. He looks at Sam who doesn’t seem to be paying any attention to them then back to Cas who looks out his own window as Dean turns to him. He sighs a little, feeling less pressured without Cas’s intense gaze on him.

He licks his lips and glances at Sam one last time and, yep, he’s definitely not paying them any attention. So Dean scoots closer to his door before he lays down, his head rested on Cas’s thigh. He lays as still as possible, waiting for any mocking, or laughing, but it doesn’t come.

He allows himself to breathe more deeply before he shuffles around, getting more comfortable. He scooches his head up a little further so his neck is supported by Cas’s leg and tucks his arms under his chin. He breaths out and immediately feels himself relax.

He’s almost asleep when he feels Cas’s fingers on his head, gently massaging the scalp then running his fingers through his hair. It’s heavenly, and makes the weight in Dean’s eyes feel heavier and without any effort, he falls asleep to Cas playing with his hair.

When he wakes it’s light out, and there’s a weight along his side. He blinks and sits up before he realises Cas had his arm resting on him. He feels the blush rush to his cheeks and down his neck as Sam greets him, “good morning, sleep well?” With amusement tinged in his voice.

Dean doesn’t reply to him but damn he feels well rested despite the ache in his hips. He looks around him and notices the familiar sights of Kansas. They’re probably 40 minutes away from being home. “Breakfast?” Sam asks as they pull into a parking lot of a locally owned diner.

They pop in and order the special: bacon, eggs, avocado, sausages, with sourdough, and coffee of course Cas sat there patiently sipping his coffee, not that he needs it but he knew Dean would finish it after his own (which he does). And before they know it they’re on the road again, Dean driving, Sam in the passenger, and Cas in the back behind Dean, one hand braced on the back of the chair and if every now and then a finger brushed through the hairs on the back of his neck, they didn’t talk about it.

The rest of that day was spent showering, and scrubbing the dirt and blood off of themselves followed by some lounging around. They watched movies, ate too much, and knocked off early. But Dean couldn’t sleep. He laid staring at the ceiling for quite some time, tossed and turned for hours before the early hours of dawn crept up on him.

He got up, put his robe on and pattered out to the kitchen to start a fresh pot. Cas following moments after, “why are you up so early?”

Dean turned around and leaned against the counter, arms folded, “couldn’t sleep.”

Cas tilted his head and squinted at him slightly, “at all?”

Dean shook his head.

“You could have told me,” he says with a frown.

Dean shrugged. And filled his cup with fresh coffee and sat at the table sipping it, Cas across him. They sat in comfortable silence while Dean caffeinated himself.

The next couple of nights follow much the same. Dean tosses and turns, and only sleeps when exhaustion renders him unconscious in the early hours of the morning. Even then he only gets an hour or two, three max. He’ll wake up before the sun, then shuffle into the kitchen for coffee and sit in silence with Cas until Sam wakes.

“What is going on with you?” Sam asks him one afternoon after he’s tried to clean the dishes and stack them in the microwave. This isn’t the first mishap either. A book was found in the freezer this morning, and yesterday a mug shattered in the oven as Sam started to pre-heat it for dinner.

“Nothing, nothing I’m fine-”

“You’re not fine,” Sam says wiping the plates and putting them in the cupboard where they belong.

“I’m just a little tired, man, nothing a couple of hours won’t fix,” he waves off and sits at the table across from Cas, out of the way of Sam’s cooking.

“You have had a total of 5 hours and 43 minutes sleep in the last 4 days,” Castiel announces without lifting his head from his book.

“And who’s counting?” Dean asks a little creeped out.

“Seriously, Dean? You’re going to kill yourself if you don’t get a decent nights sleep,” Sam scolds coming over to stand next to Cas, scowling down at Dean.

“I’m not trying to not sleep, I can’t help it!” He yells back.

“Well how can we help you?” Sam asks taking a seat. Dean can’t look at the concern on his little brothers face. He looks to Cas who appears to be just as concerned, his deep blue eyes gazing at him so intently, Dean decides to look at the table and shrug.

“We could try some tea? De-caf, obviously, or see if Rowena has some minor spells?” Sam rattles

“No. No witches, no magic,” Dean objects immediately.

“Tea it is. And no screen time after dinner,” he says getting back up to attend to their meal.

“I could help?” Cas suggests quietly.

Dean feels his stomach flip. He leans back in his seat, arms crossed, “nah man, it’s nothing I can’t handle,” he says pointedly not looking at Cas.

Deans situation isn’t brought up again but after dinner, and clean up, Sam turns all of the overhead lighting off, leaving a few low light lamps and brews a camomile tea. Dean drinks is unwillingly and tries to stop the fuss from Sam.

Cas left while the boys ate, and come back with what appeared to be lavender scented…. Well everything. He got body wash, shampoo, candles, moisturiser, room spray, hell even a body oil.

“Jesus, Cas, what am I going to do with half of this stuff?” He says inspecting the body oil.

“Use it,” he replies simply, and Dean rolls his eyes, “I’ll smell like a chick,” he says lifting up the room spray.

“No, you will smell like lavender.”

Dean rolls his eyes and downs the last mouthful of his tea.

He rinses he cup and places it beside the sink before coming back and grabbing the bag of goods off of the table, “I guess I’ll… use these… now,” he says awkwardly and heads for the bathroom.

Sam bids his goodnight and thanks Cas for his help with Dean with a clap on the shoulder.

Dean will not admit it out loud, but the body wash and shampoo actually smells pretty good. Once he finishes, he rubs a little bit of the moisturiser on his chest and shoulders but he’s not using the body oil, god damnit.

He changes into his sweats and an old shirt and padders his way down the hall and into his room. He only startles a little when he sees Cas sitting at the end of his bed.

“Whatchya doing?” He asks placing his dirty cloths in the hamper in the corner.

“I will watch over you tonight,” he says simply.

“No. Thank you,” Dean says awkwardly standing in front of Cas.

Cas cocks his head to the side and stands, “I don’t understand. You tend to sleep better with my presence near, yet you are so adamant on me not being here.”

“Yeah well… you… I- I dunno, it’s creepy,” he deflects and walks past Cas to sit on the edge of his bed, hiding his burning face from Cas’s gaze.

“What if I stay only until you fall asleep?” Cas offers.

Dean wants bad to say yes, to admit that he has no trouble sleeping with Cas around. That he can’t stop thinking about Cas running his fingers through his hair, or massaging his scalp. But he can’t.

“Cas-” he starts to protest again.

“Why won’t you let me help you?” Cas asks again taking a step closer to Dean.

“Because I-” but he can’t continue.

“Please?” Cas pleads softly.

“Fine,” Dean says in a huff, “but no angel powers,” he says.

“Then how would I-” he stops suddenly and his gaze softens, “oh.”

Deans body is on fire now. This is so embarrassing, “you know what. No. I change my mind. I’m fine,” be says and lays in his bed and faces the other way.

He feels the bed dip beside him, the clunk of shoes being taken off, some shuffling, then a knee digging into his back. But then there’s a hand in his hair and another rested on his waist and he squints his eyes closed as hard as he can to stop the emotions spreading in his chest.

“Is this okay,” Cas asks softly.

Dean hums a “mhm,” not trusting his voice to come out even. Cas’s fingers apply firm pressure from the base of his skull all the way to the top, then he gently runs his nails back down. He does this a few times before changing directions, sometimes gently pulling at his hair as he runs his hand back down.

Dean fights sleep hard. Because he’s never had someone touch him like this, so gentle, and sweet, and without asking for anything in return. Without any ill intention, without any expectation of him. Cas touches him to simply help him drift off to sleep. And it hits Dean hard, how much this angel must care for him to sit here for as long as it takes for Dean to slip into slumber.

His eyes prick and sting and then there’s a warm trace from the corner of his eye, down his cheek that sinks into his pillow.

“Dean?” Cas whispers. But he doesn’t reply.

“Are you alright?” He asks again, his hand stilling.

“Yeah,” Dean whispers back.

“Are you sure,” Cas asks leaning forward a bit.

Dean nods and Cas continues again.

Dean fights sleep a little more before he feels himself start to drift off and Cas’s hands leave him.

“Don’t go,” he mumbles.

“Okay,” Cas says but gets up still.

“Please stay,” he whispers, not wanting to beg any louder.

“Of course,” Cas replies. There’s a ruffle of clothes and then the flick of the light switch. The room plunges into darkness and then there’s the weight in the bed again. Only this time, there isn’t a knee in his back, but a warmth of another body laying beside him. Cas pulls the blankets up over them, then he’s pressed up against his back, an arm snakes around his waist and dangles over his belly, tracing light swirls into the fabric.

Dean keeps his eyes shut and slows his breathing and after he calms down he drifts into a peaceful slumber.

#supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #destiel #deancas #fanfic

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gia-d · 2 months ago

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Back in October last year, I started reading This is an Adjuration by @not-freyja.

By the time I had made it to chapter 5, I had already started typesetting this story as I read because I knew this would be one of those stories that I needed to have on my shelf.

When I finally caught up to the story at chapter 31, I begged the author to let me bind this when it was finished.

Nearly a year later, and what is probably the most important bind of my life is finally finished. Check out these glamour shots, and if you want to hear more about the actual binding process and about how this fic actually changed my life, see below.

So funny story, before I get into the technical side of this bind, but this fic actually changed my life. Not as in I was greatly emotionally moved by the story, though don't get me wrong I absolutely was, but genuinely this fic introduced me to some of the best people I have ever had to privilege of knowing (Hello Class, you know who you are 🩷), and also, it introduced me to Freyja, the incredibly talented author, who, as I type this, is curled up in bed next to me fast asleep after flying half way around the world to go on a two week long date with me.

Moral of the story folks is comment on the fics you like. You might accidentally meet the love of your life on, and I can't believe I'm saying this, AO3.

Anyways, about the bind!

This bind was a challenge from day 1. I had to do the typeset for this 300k word fic 4 times, and had to split it across 2 volumes. This was the longest fic I have ever attempted to bind, and it was so thick I couldn't get it in the paper trimmer.

To make this book as durable as possible, I attempted a few techniques. I secured it with 3 tapes, I made an Oxford hollow, I rounded the spine, I made a slipcase and I used 2.3mm boards where normally I use 1.8mm.

The slipcase is covered with embossed faux leather, buckram and plain ribbon, and lined with gold satin fabric. I've never made a slipcase before so this was an experience.

The books are covered with an emerald green silk finish bookcloth which really gave the books the luxury they deserved. I foiled custom end papers as well as every chapter title page using heat reactive transfer foil on toner ink (never again I am never doing that again omg it took days). Huge thank you to @la-sera for letting me use her artwork which helped inspire this fic!

The grey flashback chapters I had to use HTV for the border decoration and I'm very happy with how that turned out because it was so easy and straight forward, unfortunately it just wasn't viable for the whole book.

It feels weird to finally have these books done. They have my blood, sweat, tears and my heart poured into them, and I've been working on them for so long that it's odd to actually have them finished. I'm so proud of this bind, and feel like I've grown so much as a fanbinder by making these.

Anyways, if anyone has any questions about the process, please don't hesitate to ask!

(and if you are an Linked Universe fan and haven't read Adjuration yet, this is your sign!)

#linked universe #bookbinding #fanbinding #ficbinding #this is an adjuration #my binds #ivyring bookbinding #hi freyja!

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thewritetofreespeech · 5 months ago

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Nowhere is Safe

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary: you are awoken in the middle of the night to find out your nephew-in-law is dead and Aemond is trying to throw you out.

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It was the dead of night. Which seemed to be when the most horrible, cruel, inconceivable things tended to happen.

You were fast asleep when the commotion woke you. The feeling like a dream. To the point that you try to ignore it and follow the path of more pleasant dreams fading off into your mind’s distance. The door flinging open, nearly off its hinges, was what fully woke you. “Bleeding hells!!”

“Thank the Gods you’re alright.”

You had seen wild looks in Aemond’s eye before. His schemes. His dark thoughts. His cunning designs. But this wild look was not something you were familiar with. Fear. Enough to invoke the Gods? Something you were fairly certain he didn’t even believe in. “What’s going on?”

The prince said nothing as he rushed across the room with all the speed & grace those years of fighting had afforded him and took you in his arms. Aemond was nowhere near as cruel as Aegon, but he wasn’t one for overly affectionate displays. The closest he would come were peaceful, tender moments after your most intimate times. Now you were starting to sprout fear. “Jaehaerys is dead.”

You pulled back from Aemond to look at him in disbelief. His expression smooth and calm like always. Impossible to read for most, but you knew he was telling the truth. “What?! How?!”

“He was murdered by an assassin in our walls.”

The words are so impossible to believe that you think you might still be dreaming. Yes. Dreaming. This was all a bad nightmare. A terrible nightmare. Who would murder a child?! Who would murder someone within the castle walls? Yes, this was war, but deep down you thought none of them really meant to hurt one another. A child….

“You need to pack.”

Startled from your thoughts and swelling grief at Aemond’s words as he moved away, already helping himself to one of your trunks, you manage to ask, “What…? Why? Where?”

“Anywhere but here.”

He was already throwing all manner things into your trunk. Books, trinkets, some sheer manner of clothing that was more decorative than clothing. All of it going into the trunk with reckless abandon. “Aemond. Aemond stop. Aemond look at me!” He eventually stopped when you grabbed his arm. Ready to throw a vase, flowers, water, and all, in with the rest. “I’m not going anywhere. Alright. I’m not.”

“You have to.” He insisted. “The palace isn’t safe. We must get you somewhere—“If the Keep isn’t safe, then nowhere is safe.”

Aemond seemed to want to argue, but his jaw shut and closed tight. Those sharp lines in his face looking like daggers in his anger. Because he knew you were right. If they could get in here, they could get in anywhere. And more the fools they, but the point was that nowhere was safe now.

“You can’t stay here. I…I cannot protect you here.”

That’s why he was afraid, you realize. Not that you might be dead, though he would torrent the skies if that had been true, but he was scared he couldn’t protect you.

You wrap your arms around Aemond and hold him tight. Who would be next in this ridiculous feud? Aegon’s other children? Rhaenyra other sons? Helaena? Aemond himself?

You feel your grief mounting as you think on it. Who would be next, and who was now lost. Of Jaehaerys sweet face and how you would comment often that you hoped your future children were half as sweet as him. He’d make a fine king, as long as he spent less time with his father. He..would…have made a fine king.

You didn’t realize you were crying until Aemond lifted your head from his chest. “You need to leave.” He brushed the tears from your cheeks, but they all scatter again as you shook your head furiously.

“No. Never.” How could you leave him here, alone, in this place. Where nothing and no one was safe. If you were to die it would be with Aemond. It was the promise you made after all.

The prince let out a sigh. More heaving of shoulder than want of sound. Then he pulled you into his arms again. “You’re a damned fool.” Still, he doesn’t ask you again.

part II III IIII

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eddiemunsons-missingnipple · 8 months ago

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Summer breeze

Rockstar!Eddie Munson x fem!Reader

Summary: You and Eddie haven't been around each other in a long time since he's been on tour. When he gets back, he decides to take you on vacation.

Warnings: smut, slight angst, hurt/comfort. Established relationships, unprotected sex, and use of safe word. Mild choking. Aftercare. Eddie is a sweet boy in this. No use of y/n, nicknames used (baby, sweetheart, and good girl)

Word count:3.1k

A/n: Not proofread. Please ignore any mistakes. Divider by me. Please comment and reblog to show support. I'm reposting because some parts were missing.

Somtime early morning in Palm Springs.

You awoke to a nice summer breeze on your skin, and your boyfriends arm slumped over your waist. His mouth slightly opened as he whistled a small snore in your ear. You smile to yourself as you watch the sunrise through the sheer white curtains of your hotel room.

Eddie had just gotten back from a very extended tour with Corroded Coffin. This was the first time both of you were away from each other for months and months on end. Most of the time, he'd fly you out to visit him. Since you started up your own business, that wasn't possible this time round.

The two of you agreed that once the extensive tour was over, you would take time off from your work and go on a little vacation together. A much needed break for the both of you. Eddie made sure you knew how much he missed you. Almost every night for over half a year, he'd call you before bed. Sometimes, you would fall asleep with each other on the other line.

Now, here you finally were snuggled up with him as you watched the sunrise. You wanted to wake him up so bad and begin your day sightseeing or lounging by the pool. You glance over your shoulder at him while he sleeps. His hair is wildly spread across the pillow as his various chains around his neck were all tangled up. He looked so peaceful that you couldn't wake him just yet. This was probably the first time he actually slept through the night since leaving on tour.

Carefully removing his arm from your waist and easing yourself out of bed. Tip toeing to the bathroom as you did but not before almost tripping on his discarded jeans next to the bed. Quickly looking up at him, you curse quietly to yourself. He's still sprawled out on the bed, snoring away, or so you thought.

"Hey, where are you going?" His low raspy voice calls out for you. You giggled at his sleepy voice that he hates so much.

His eyes are still heavy from sleep, and his hair is even wilder than you thought. He lets out a low groan as he stretches. His joints popping loudly

"I'm just going to get ready." Shaking his had he pulls the covers back slapping the mattress.

"Nuh uh c'mere." He motioned for you to get back in bed. a boyish grin spreading across his face. You can't even see his eyes from the mess of his bangs hanging lower than last time you saw him.

You thought about it for a moment and decided to rejoin him in bed. You ran and jumped back under the covers, laughing while he wrapped his arms around your body.

The pair of you missed being cuddled up in eachothers arms. This vacation is going to be two weeks long, and there is plenty of time to explore your surroundings. Staying in bed for a few more hours wouldn't kill you.

Around 1 p.m., your alarm rang.

You woke up again to the cool breeze on your skin. Only this time, you were alone, no sight of Eddie anywhere. Frowning, you remembered he did have a few meetings he had to do on your first couple of days here. Not knowing how long they would be. You gaze at his pillow, seeing a tiny daisy left there for you with a little note.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there to see you wake up. I have some business to take care of. then after I'm all yours. - Eddie."

You smiled, reading the note and smelling the flower he left for you. You hurriedly got out of bed. you decided maybe visiting the hotel pool would be a nice way to relax until he got back. You ran and put on your bikini, packing your tote back with the essentials you'll need.

Spending the next couple of hours down by the pool lounging got boring after a while. You tried reading and listening to your Walkman. Nothing seemed to help cure it. The only thing on your mind was Eddie.

How you missed the way he would hold you. His dumb jokes he'd wake you up in the middle of the night to tell you. You missed his smell and how soft his lips were against your skin. How he carefully took his time with you. The way he'd make you cum over and over again. You needed him. That longing feeling taking over you has become too overwhelming. Nearly to the point you're on the verge of tears.

You just want him. All of him.

Jumping up from the beach chair, you hurriedly make your way back to the hotel room. You practically run through the lobby to the elevator, hoping he's there by now. Much to your surprise, he is, and a sigh escapes your mouth when you see him. He's standing by the couch in the living area, taking a puff of his cigarette. He notices you staring at him and smirks before looking you up and down.

Licking his lips, "Hey baby, what you been up to?" His voice low and sultry.

"Just waiting for you to get back, so I decided to go to the pool." You pointed over your shoulder.

He hums as he takes another drag of his cigarette. There is so much sexual tension growing thicker between you two. The way he keeps looking you up and down while he smokes, practically eye fucking you. You try to make small talk with him, but he just keeps staring you down. Almost like a predator hunting for its prey. The thought sends a shiver of excitement down your spine.

"C'mere baby." He motions for over for you to come closer.

You do as you're told and go to him. He bites his lower lip and puts out the rest of his cigarette. He pulls you in even closer to him and wraps his arms around your middle. Bringing his hands down to your ass, squeezing softly, giving it a light few taps.

"When did you get this little thing?" He took one of his hands away from your ass to tug at your bikini top.

You look down, "I've always had it."

"Hmm, have you?" Eddie eyebrows raised in amusement. His playful tapping turning into a harsher grip.

All you could do was nod, feeling the wetness pooling between your legs.

Eddie leans down closer to your ear.You bite your lower lip and gasp when you feel him grip your ass painfully tighter. You grasp onto his shoulders for leverage, trying not to stumble as you're practically on your tip toes now. You let out a small whimper, and he loosens his grip on you. Eddie hooks a finger under your chin, making you look up at him. His eyes blown out with lust.

"Lets go to bed." His voice is deep and husky by your ear.

Nodding your head again slowly as your mind struggles to form any words.

You swallow dryly. "Okay."

Eddie takes you by the hand and leads you to the bedroom. The sun is setting now, giving it a nice orange glow. You stand before him as he gazes down at you. You look up at him, waiting for his next move.

He reaches behind you and pulls the strings to your bikini top slowly, letting it fall to the floor. Your nipples harden instantly as the cool air hits them. You move your arms to cover yourself, but he stops you.

"Don't hide from me." Eddie gently commanded.

You listen, moving your arms back down. He goes to undo your bikini bottoms, letting them fall to the floor with your top.

He mumbled rubbing his hard cock over his jeans, "You're so goddamm sexy."

Eddie sits back on the bed, bringing you to straddle him. Your lips instantly attacking his in a feverish kiss. He tastes like cigarettes and mint. you can almost cry at how much you've missed his taste. You begin grinding against him, your clit rubbing on his prominent buldge straining in his jeans. Rubbing yourself on him back and forth, a moan escapes your lips. You've been waiting so long to have him, and now he's here. Removing his mouth from yours, he kisses down your jaw and neck.

"I need you, now." Your voice is coming out much needier than you expected.

"Lay back for me, sweetheart." His husky voice mumbled against your throat. "Be a good girl."

You look at him, licking your lips."I'm always your good girl."

"You sure are, baby." He chuckled at your response, knowing how much you loved it when he called you that."You suuuuure are." He drawls.

Eddie didn't hesitate after that. Hearing you beg for him made his cock rock hard. he couldn't wait to bury it deep inside you. He quickly strips himself of every piece of clothing he had on. His cock springing free when yanks down his boxers. You move up closer to the headboard, laying back against the soft pillows. He makes his way up the bed, crawling his way to you.

He settles himself in between your legs, and you spread them open wider for him. He strokes his cock up and down a few times, pumping it lazily. Your breathing becomes heavy with anticipation. His cock has always been intimidatingly big. Eddie always made sure to get you nice and warmed up before taking him. This time, though, he didn't do much of that. There was no foreplay. you didn't mind it at first. Since you were both so desperate to have one another. Your lust and desires clouding your judgments.

"Eddie, please, I need you inside me." You kept begging him.

He bit his lip, muttering something under his breath. "Fuck, I really have missed you baby."

He looks up at you through his lashes and without warning he's lines his cock at your entrance thrusting all the way inside you. You let high-pitched moan and squeeze your eyes shut tight. Eddie doesn't stay still for long he grabs your hips harshly and begins pulling almost all the way out and slamming back into you.

Your mind going foggy as Eddie's cock splits you open. He's thrusting into you harder and faster. His hips slapping into yours roughly. You grip his biceps, digging your nails into his skin. Your pussy is making a loud squelching noise as he pumped his harder cock in and out of you. Your slicks dripping down your ass and soaking his length.

"S-so fu-cking tight," He grunted, throwing his head back as he plunged his cock harder in your pussy.

"... And wet–Jesus christ, you're making a mess on me."

Your back arches up "Mmmfph – eddie," you moan. "Don't stop."

The tip of his cock rubbing against your g spot the deeper he pushes inside you. You were moaning and writhing underneath him. Calling out his name every time slammed back into you. Every plunge of his cock felt like he was going in deeper. Your bodies slapping together

After a while, your pleasure was starting to feel more like pain. His movements were only getting rougher, and he didn't seem to be slowing down anytime soon. There was a slight stinging sensation between your legs, which was becoming more prominent.

Your breathing became heavier as anxiety started taking over. Eddie, without thinking, put his hand to your throat squeezingly only lightly to your pressure points. Tears prickled your eyes as you tried your best to ignore the growing pain between your legs.

You didn't want to use your safe word, but in this situation, it just wasn't feeling good anymore. You've never used it before and were scared to it, even though Eddie has always encouraged you to if it became too much. The bed rocking against the wall harder made you aware of how fast he was really going, — you wouldn't be surprised if there was damage done or if the bed broke. Looking up at him, he doesn't really seem to be focusing on much of anything else, but how good you feel. His eyes squeezed shut, and his mouth hanging open. His cheeks flushed pink. His hips slammed into yours at a bruising pace.

You felt guilty for doing this, but you have no other choice. His thrusts are becoming too overwhelming for your liking, and his hand on your throat is now squeezing just a tad bit harder. Your moans were now chokes and quiet sobs. He didn't even notice. Eddie was too caught up in how good your walls felt clenching around him.

"Eddie." You whimpered quiely, but he didn't hear you.

"Oh fuck I'm gonna cum." He managed to groan out.

"r-red," you quiely choked out, but he kept pumping into you. His hips smacking into yours as he only sped up even more. Chasing his own high, assuming you were getting close too. You started to panic, and the pain was getting worse now. Your anxiety kicking into overdrive.

"RED!!!" Your voice manged to scream out, and Eddie haulted his movements instantly. His face falls. His eyes are full of worry as he removes his hand from your throat immediately. Carefully and gently, he pulls out, causing you to hiss at the sting. He winced seeing the pain on your face.

"Baby, what's wrong?"— "Are you okay?"Talk to me, please."He was pleading with you to just talk to him. Tell him anything at this point. There was so much concern in his tone.

All he cared about was knowing if you were alright.

Eddie voice rang in your ears over and over again. Finally, you let out a sob covering your face with your hands. You felt embarrassed and ashamed. Eddie, on the other hand, was trying his best to soothe you. He goes to move your hands from your face, but you slap them away. You refuse to look at him, turning your body from him. Your reactions to his care were purely instinctual. You know he'd never go out of his way to cause you pain like this on purpose.

He just sits there desperately wanting to tend to you but also terrified to touch you. You laid there crying, trying to calm down and get your breathing under control. You take a deep breath and sit up, bringing the blanket to cover yourself.

"What's wrong? You gotta tell me!" Eddie urged with so much panic in his voice. He was trying to keep it together, knowing you needed him more right now.

"It hurt....i-it was too much." You stammered, swallowing the lump in your throat. You turned on your back keeping yourself under the blankets.

Eddie hesitantly goes to wipe away the tears from your face. You don't flinch or smack his hands away this time. He let out a shakey breath before speaking again. He couldn't believe he didn't notice you weren't enjoying yourself. Your small whimpers of pain replay in his head now, making him feel like such a bad boyfriend. How could he possibly not have noticed his girl was in pain? The thought has him wanting to be sick.

"I'm so so sorry I didn't mean to you hurt you." His voice cracks as he fights back tears of his own. "What do you need from me, baby?"

"It's okay. I'm okay." You reassured him, but he shakes his head.

"No you're not...I'm so fucking horrible." He said running a hand down his face and through his hair.

"You're not horrible, Eddie. we both just got too caught up."

"I'm so sorry." He repeated again, bringing your hands to his mouth as he kissed them.

"Please forgive me sweetheart you know I'd never harm you in this or any way ever."

"I know it's okay. We should just take it slow like we usually do." Your hand goes up to caress his face. A small smile slowly appeared on his lips. He took your palm, giving it a gentle kiss of reassurance.

"I should have taken my time with you, baby." Eddie sighed deeply, still riddled with guilt.

You wiped away the last remaining tears from your eyes. "I just– I need that warm-up, you know?"

"Yeah." He cleared his throat. He understands where you're coming from. Eddie was selfish earlier, and for that, you paid the price.

God, he still can't get your voice yelling your safe word from his mind. He wanted to break down and bawl his eyes out. He wanted to wait on your hand and foot until he was for sure you were completely fine.

There was a long calming silence in the room now. Eddie was trying to figure out what to do next. He, let's go of your hands and brought you in for a hug. He lets out a breath of relief that you're not pulling away from him.

"Wanna cuddle?" He pulled back to look at you and examine your neck where his hand used to be. You reached up, brushing back his bangs.

"Can we?" Your face lighting up.

"I'll do whatever you want me to." He moves to curl up next to you and shuts off one of the lamps on the table. He wraps you up nice and tight in your blanket. "Did you want to order room service and watch something funny?"

You wiggled around in his hold, getting yourself comfortable. "Only if you order me the biggest burger on the menu."

"Ahh, a giant burger it is, and maybe something sweet too?" Eddie leaned over to kiss your temple.

"Definitely want that too...and I want to watch something spooky not funny." You grinned over your shoulder at him.

He shook his head. "Alright, alright, ginormous burger, ice cream, and a horror movie." Eddie pauses for a second, rubbing your side in a soothing way, "anything else you might want?"

"Nope, that's all." You teased, reaching around to pinch his side. He laughed and jerked away.

"Wait! and cuddles." You added lastly.

The sun has finally set, and the room is now covered in darkness except for the TV playing a scary movie of your choosing. Your food is sitting on a tray across your laps. Every other second, he stopped eating to ask if you're really okay. To which you reminded him you're fine and you were just overwhelmed earlier.

Eventually, he stopped asking and opted to cuddle you close to him. He didn't ever want you to feel unsafe with him. The nice summer breeze blows on your skin as Eddie holds you tight against him. Your vacation may have started off on a bad foot, but Eddie was determined to make it up to you.

"I love you, sweetheart." He whispered in your ear, giving your cheek a loving kiss. "You're always safe with me."

"I love you too."

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #joseph quinn #eddie munson fanfic #stranger things #eddie munson smut #rockstar!eddiemunson #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x fem!reader smut #eddie munson x f!reader #eddie munson x reader fluff #eddie x you #eddie x reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x fem!reader fluff #rockstar!eddie x reader #rockstar!eddie smut #scheduled post

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celestial-grls · 8 months ago

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Midnight Snack - Kate Martin x reader

-Summary: Fluffiest blurb ever about Kate waking you up because she's hungry and wants company...like how could you resist her?

Tonight, you and Kate seemed to have exchanged roles. Usually, you’re the one who’s up way past your bedtime, reading or giving your rapt attention to a video essay you found. Kate usually is the one gently asking you to come to bed, and she never needs more than five minutes before she’s dozing off and completely snoring. Tonight, you got some shut-eye, nestled into the warmth of her neck with your legs tangled together under the covers. There’s a few days before she has to leave for a tournament, so you’re taking as much time as you can to be with her knowing that once everything starts up again, there’ll be a stretch of time before you two can really be together like this. It’s dark, yours and Kate’s dog is asleep at the foot of the bed peacefully snoring.

“Y/N,” Kate turns over to lightly touch your face, whispering and trying to wake you up as nicely as she can. The small inkling of guilt settles as her eyes adjust to your sleepy face, how the top of your head fits right into her neck.

“Y/N…baby,” Kate whispers again. This time you stir a bit.

Through a slight frown you mumble, “Hm?”

Kate starts shuffling to trace some lines into your palm, another strategy for waking you up nicely.

Her tracing the lines inside your palm feel so familiar, her automatic little habit to feel closer to you. She presses feather-light kisses to them too, waiting patiently for you to open your eyes. She’s so relieved when you finally do.

“Kate,” you rub at your eyes, still half-asleep and gooey at how sweet Kate is trying to be while waking you. “What time is it, baby?”

“It’s late. Like 12:30 I think?” Kate and you are fully facing each other, slowly blinking..

“Do you have to be up early tomorrow? Or can we sleep in a little?” You ask her through a yawn, you start to blink at her when she yawns back at you.

Kate couldn’t adore you more than she does right now, as you reach for your glasses from the bedside table so you can see her better and check the time. The strap of your tank top slid off one shoulder when you sat up in bed and she instinctively went to kiss your shoulder.

“No, I don’t have to be up too early,” She doesn’t stop slowly blinking at you or tracing the side of your arm with her finger, constantly touching you to remind herself you’re real.

You push your glasses up the bridge of your nose and lean down to peck a kiss to the corner of her mouth, “Good. You couldn’t sleep?” You worry about her, and you’re almost certain she knows that.

Kate closes her eyes when your hair falls over her face, receiving your little kisses and breathing in the lotion you put on before bed. She’s going to miss it when she’s away in a few days. “Not really. Will you come have a snack with me?”

She gives you this pleading look, her eyes big pools of warmth. You tell her, “I’ll do you one better…I’ll make us a snack,”

She automatically protests, “No, baby, you don’t have to. I feel bad enough waking you up.”

“I’d feel worse if you had one without me,” then you get out from your side of the bed and wait for her to join you, “C’mon, no objections please.”

Kate’s already tried to offer to help, but you refused. “You don’t think I can cut an apple or something, big shot?”

“‘Course not. I know you can. Are you sure you don’t want me to do anything?” She’s lingering next to you as you chop the apple into slices and slide them onto a plate. You look up at her with her sleep mussed hair tucked behind her ears and her blue baggy boxer shorts rolled around her hip and her socked feet and can’t imagine wanting her to do anything but sit down and look as pretty as she does right now.

“I’m sure. Now sit,” you’re doing your best to be stern. The truth is, you’re not the least bit bothered to be slicing an apple and warming up some peanut butter for you both to munch on right now. Any moment you get to share like this feels like suspending time, pausing to try and make it stretch.

Kate does as you say and sits across from you on the island. It’s almost too much, the warmth of the kitchen light, you pushing your glasses up, the sound of your slippers padding across the floor as you look for chocolate chips. She’s watching you with her chin the the palm of her hand, feeling dazed from the sleepiness and quietly delighted by the way you assemble the slices and spread peanut butter on each one.

You make a big show of sprinkling chocolate chips on a few because you know she loves them. “Ta-da. Midnight snack for Martin.”

“Thank you, baby. My talented little chef,” Kate stretches a little bit before she starts chewing. Making an equal show of closing her eyes and nodding in approval at the snack.

You lean closer into her from across the kitchen island and take a slice from the plate. There’s only the low hum of the refrigerator and Kate quietly giggling between bites before she says, “Think I made the right call, waking you up,”

There’s about an inch of space between you two now, you close it to kiss her sweetly before telling her, “One time only offer. Don’t do it again, baby.”

#kate martin #my writing #kate martin x reader #iowa hawkeyes #iowa wbb

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luveline · 7 months ago

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hiii jade, hope you're having a lovely day/night <3

can i request sirius comforting r after a hard day of studies? maybe with some good ol' domestic fluff?

it's exam season at my school and my world is getting absolutely rocked

thank you for your request <3

“You look tired.”

“That’s not very nice, is it?” you ask, no maliciousness in your tone nor sarcasm. You sound as sapped for energy as you look, shoulders aching profoundly in a line down your entire back, your eyes sluggish from a day spent reading, and testing yourself, and then reading again.

Sirius leans against the doorway. He’d been waiting for you when you got here at the time you’d promised, and here he remains looking at you like he might want to eat you or, at least, give you a kiss. He puts his arms behind his back and a slip of his stomach flashes under the cropped length of his t-shirt, exposing pale skin and a threading of dark hair.

“Too tired for manners,” he says, clocking your ogling.

“You flashed me. You’re a flasher.”

You’re too tired to stand there flirting, letting the bag that hangs on your shoulder slip to your elbow, and knowing already that Sirius will take it from you. He proves your anticipation correct, closing the small gap between you to grab the strap.

It’s his kiss you aren’t expecting. Sirius takes your shoulder in his opposite hand to keep you still, his chin ever so slightly raised as he presses his lips to your forehead. You indulge the both of you and let yourself tilt forward.

“Did you take lots of breaks?” he asks.

Not really. “Yeah. I’m tired.”

“I know,” he says sympathetically. “No more tonight. Let me take you inside.”

Sirius begins a half-dragging of sorts, ferrying you into his flat and on to his bed. Sirius is a loving guy, even if he’s hard to understand sometimes; you can’t work out how he’s feeling right now, but you can sense the tenderness in his hands as he unties your shoelaces and pulls your shoes from your feet. He doesn’t talk, doesn’t question you anymore about your day, and many might label him uncaring but he’s too busy trying to get you feeling comfortable to ask.

He pulls your hoodie carefully over your head so as not to jostle your chin, unfastens your belt and unbuttons your jeans. Then he pushes his arms under yours and carries you to the top of the bed (not carry, really, but manhandle seems too rough a word). “Okay?” he asks.

He looks you in the face. He really, truly cares. It would be startling if you didn’t know him well already.

“Yeah, I’m just tired. Can I have a glass of water?”

He nods softly. “You can take your jeans off without me? I’ll get you something with less buttons to change into. And some biscuits.” He’s halfway down the hallway when he adds, “Or I can forget the thing with less buttons.”

You burrow into his white sheets and breathe in deeply. They smell like his shampoo, a consequence of his tendency to sleep with wet hair, but they’re perfectly dry under your cheek, and terribly smooth. You rub your nose into his pillow as you relax for the first time all day. For a few seconds the cacophony of lecture slides and textbooks melts away, because you’re here in his bed with your boyfriend so eager to take care of you.

His hand where it lands on your back only cements this. “Don’t fall asleep, please. I just need ten minutes to make sure you’re alright.”

“I’m okay.” You pull your face up. “Did you bring me a biscuit?”

“Brought you everything I promised,” he says, leaning down to kiss your jaw chastely. “I know it’s hard right now, but it’s not forever. You’re doing well. In a month we’ll be spending our Saturdays entirely in bed. You won’t have jeans on for a minute.”

You sigh happily. “Will you take them off for me? Too tired.”

He takes them off, and he pulls the blanket over you murmuring about the cold before he lays next to you with his arm over your back to ask in whispers about your day. Your answers come in dribs and drabs, so tired you forget the water you’d wanted or his promised biscuits.

You fall asleep under his touch. He kisses your squished nose.

#sirius black #sirius black x reader #sirius black x fem!reader #sirius black x you #sirius black x y/n #sirius x reader fluff #sirius black imagine #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black fanfic #sirius black fic #marauders era #marauders #sirius black drabble #sirius black scenario #sirius black oneshot #the marauders #sirius orion black

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mialikeshockey · 4 months ago

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Could you do a Luke Hughes fic where he lets the reader do his skin care and than watch a movie 🥹

of course!! I hope you enjoy:)

Baby Soft - Luke Hughes

“You stink, and you’re sweaty. Get off my bed.” I groan, pushing my sweaty boyfriend off my bed. Luke just got home from a workout with Jack and Quinn, and he decides to come to my house all nasty and sweaty.

“I am not going all the way to my house to take a shower, you’re gonna have to deal with it.” Luke states walking towards my bed again. “Luke Hughes, if you step any closer to my, nicely made, soft and clean, smelling good bed, I will actually drag you out of my house by your ear and make you sit outside until you don’t stink anymore. You can shower here, you still have the sweatpants and the hoodie you left from last time you came over, they are in your drawer on the last part of my dresser.” Luke smiles grabbing his stuff and going to take a shower.

I sit down at my vanity and start taking off my makeup, I only had a bit of mascara, blush and lipgloss on, so it wasn’t so hard to take off. I start doing my skincare while watching YouTube. After a couple more minutes, I’m almost done with my skincare about to put a face mask on, when Luke walks in my room all clean. “What are you doing?” Luke walks over to my vanity and picks up one of my face mask bottles. “Can you put one on me?”

“Why would you want one on? I thought you didn’t like doing your skincare.” I giggled as Luke sits down on the floor waiting for me to put a face mask on him. “I wanna match with you, and then maybe we can watch a movie.” I smile, finishing up my face mask and moving onto his.

I start putting the face mask on his face and he can’t stop laughing. “I really don’t see what’s so funny, you’re gonna ruin the perfect lining if you don’t stop laughing.” I shake my head and hold his head still. “It’s cold.” Luke lets out another giggle.

I finish his face mask and we cuddle up on my bed and turn on a movie. Luke seems to not mess with the face mask nor pick at it like he claims he would. A couple minutes have passed and I look over at Luke, who is half asleep. “Come on love, let’s get this face mask off.”

I get a warm towel and start washing the face mask off of Lukes face, I do the same with myself. Luke goes up to the bathroom mirror and feels his face. “What are you doing you goober?” I laugh. “My face feels baby soft.” He turns out of the bathroom and walks right back to my room.

“You should do the rest of the skin care on me tomorrow.” Luke states before plopping down on my bed to finish the movie. “I’ll think about it.”

The next day rolls around, I just got back from going on a run and I see Lukes car in my driveway. I run up to my driveway and see him and my parents laughing and talking on the front porch.

“Didn’t know everyone was having so much fun without me.” I smile walking up to hug Luke. “Luke was telling us about how he finally let you put a face mask on him.” My mom smiles, knowing how much taking care of my skin is so important to me.

I walk inside giggling with Luke following me. “So when do I get the full treatment?” He runs up behind me and hugs me again, kissing the side of my face. “Maybe now, because I need to shower and wash my face since I just got back from a run.” Luke nods and i hurry up and take a quick shower while he sits in my room and scrolls on his phone.

I come back in my room holding some skin care stuff I used in the shower. “Come sit down and I’ll do your skin care.” Luke gets up with a big smile on his face. I start off with using my face wash and gently rubbing it into his face. Luke giggling the whole time.

Something tells me that this is gonna be more than a one time thing.

——

sorry this is so short, it’s currently 4:30am and I’m going to the beach to see the sunrise and I haven’t slept yet and I’m so tired 😭

also I did not proof read so if there’s any mistakes ignore them please

take care!!

#luke hughes blurb #luke hughes x reader #luke hughes #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes #jack hughes fic #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes ntdp #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes smut #quinn hughes x reader #quinn hughes blurb #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes

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eevees-hobbies · 5 months ago

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HIHIHI may I request some Sakura please, your greatness 🧎‍♀️ who despite his tough boi act, absolutely worships the ground his lover walks on and showers them in love (before, during AND after sex) oooou it’s rotting my brain i need him to cuddle me stat

Author’s Note: Ah, so you’ve come to me with a Sakura request, I see. And a cute one like this, too? I get it, anon…I do. I get it because you and I are a lot alike. Sometimes you like the idea of Sakura bending you over and delivering loud, nasty, toe-curling backshots to you as he talks shit in your ear (same, same), but other times you crave a different version of him. You crave a soft Sakura, a comfortable Sakura, a tame Sakura that doesn’t flinch when you touch him but instead leans into your touch and looks at you with absolute devotion, right? Me fucking too. So you want broken-in, house-trained, and domesticated, Sakura? My pleasure.

Content Warning: Fem!ReaderXHaruka Sakura. Business (fluff) in the front & party (smut) in the back! Smut will be below the last divider. Sweet Sakura, who shows you love through some love-language type things. And then intimate love-making. You make love while half-asleep (mmm). Tame smut. Eve mentions Bridgerton again because there is now continuity in my stories, and I’m not sorry about it (don’t ask me about the show; I’m on season 1, episode 3, but I love the idea of it). Minors Do Not Interact.

Word Count: 2K

Divider by Saradika. Banner by me.

Sakura had watched you all day, and he hated what he was seeing. You two had planned a beach day on a rare day off for him and a light work calendar day for you. But when the universe hears about plans, it often laughs aloud and offers a wrench.

He couldn’t quite understand the intricacies of your work-from-home job beyond that shit was hitting the fan. You sat dutifully in front of your laptop, answering constant pings coming from god-knows-where and from god-knows-who to the point that Sakura felt he could time them perfectly.

Ping

…

Ping

Yup, perfectly timed.

And with each call or message you answered, he saw your shoulders rise closer to your neck, the tension making you hunch in a way you’d certainly feel later.

And he couldn’t help you with whatever the fuck KPIs or logic models were, but he could help you in other ways. So, he grabbed his keys and set out for the day.

As your workday concluded, your fingers found the bridge of your nose in an attempt to massage away the tension migraine that was rearing its head. Not only was today stressful, but as you looked around your empty apartment, you found Sakura to be gone. You hoped he wasn’t upset about not going to the beach, but you’d understand if he was.

As you stood out of your ergonomic office chair to stretch, ready to open the refrigerator to cook something up quickly, the door to your tiny abode opened.

You let out a breathy laugh—Sakura is blocked from your line of vision, and only a few single tufts of black and white hair peek over the various restaurant and grocery bags in his arms. As you croon your neck to watch him struggle his way inside, you also see that he’s carrying a bouquet of flowers with an unmistakable logo tucked firmly under his armpit.

He’s grumbling as he sets the items down on the kitchen island; something about hating living so high up, but you can’t bring yourself to dial in on his ramblings as you read the names of your favorite places on the bags.

“You got us ramen, kitten?”

“Yeah. Miso with extra beansprouts like you like, with some Gyoza on the side. It’s probably cold since it’s like climbing a fuckin’ mountain to get up here, but I can heat everything back up.”

He begins removing food, snacks, face masks, popcorn, and drinks from the bags. Your heart pangs with remorse at even thinking he was upset about your inability to go to the beach. Sakura is complicated, but he’s not childish.

“Also, Umemiya said something about the flowers, but you might have to text him about that. I zone out when he starts talking plant-talk.”

“Same,” your arms find his waist, your cold hands sneaking up his shirt and rubbing at his prominent v-line as you wrap yourself around his whole person. “Thank you for this. I love you so much.”

Sakura blushes, a personal trait he’s tried to stop fighting long ago. “Sure, but go ahead and sit on the couch. New episode of Bridgerton tonight?”

You rub your palms together excitedly, “I’ll get the fuzzy socks, kitten!”

After getting through half an episode of Bridgerton, Sakura noticed you were fighting a losing battle with your sleep needs. Heavy eyelids and your head growing slack on his shoulder were all the signs he needed to turn off the TV and scoop you up in his arms.

“Bath,” you mumble against his chest.

“Bath,” he offers in return.

“You sure?” he mumbles against your lips, “your eyes are barely open.”

“Mmm, but my legs are open, baby. See?” You wrap your thighs around his midsection, trapping him in and pulling him closer.

The heat radiating from your clothed cunt is undeniable, you’ve probably wanted him all night, and fuck, he felt the same way.

Sakura’s lips trace the curve of your jaw with gentle kisses and flicks of his tongue until his face is nestled in the crook of your neck. Your pulse is calm—so slow that he wonders if you managed to fall asleep until you shift under him and let out a sigh.

“Sakura...need you.”

“Yeah, babe. You got me. I’m right here.”

As he pulls the seat of your underwear aside, the slit of his cock already giving way to shiny droplets of precum, he sinks into you with a sigh escaping his lips at the familiarity of you. He can’t help but think of all the ways he loves you. Moments like this make him feel like the best version of himself—someone worthy of being loved and giving love.

He briefly presses his forehead into the valley of your breasts, letting your slick walls adjust to his girth. You’re wearing one of his white tee’s and smell so unmistakably like him that he’s positive you put on his deodorant after your bath. The thought of being so connected that you dress and smell like him while still maintaining your own smell makes him want you more.

His cheeks rub against your breasts, soft and heavy even through the pesky fabric, and because even one barrier is a barrier too many, he is now lifting the shirt over your head and tossing it to the corner of the room.

His cock twitches at the erotic sight of you, fully naked except with your panties shifted ever so slightly to the side, puffy pussy lips wrapped around his cock, and hole stuffed to the brim with him. He’d call it a fantasy if this weren’t his real life.

His feather-soft touches—reserved only for you—cascade from your stomach down your hip before the idea of not moving and not making love to you becomes too unbearable. His hand grips one of your thighs, and he pulls his hips back slightly, dragging the length of him against your silken walls and then forward, your pussy so wet, so creamy, and welcoming for him.

In his mind, he’s giving thanks, thanks to the shitty universe that finally felt enough pity for him that he was blessed with you.

He has to steel his resolve, however, because when he begins to think like this—think about how lucky he is to have you, to be buried inside of you—he’s prone to lose himself to you far earlier than he’d like and he wants this tryst to last.

“Haru, feel so good.” your words are slurred and dripping with the slow drawl that comes with sleep, but your body is deliciously reactive for him. The creamy sounds of his cock mixing with your thick slick fills the room so lewdly and loudly that it makes both your cheeks heat up as your love is audibly personified.

“You do, too. P-pussy feels amazing.”

He loves you so much his heart hurts. His other hand finds yours, entangling his long fingers with your own. And the way you rub at his bruised knuckles, fresh from a fight, doesn’t go unnoticed by him. Even in your half-awake state, you still care for him and want to ease his discomfort.

He slots his lips against yours where they belong, wishing that he could give you a more heated kiss, the kind that you like where he lets you suck on his tongue, but this is perfect, too.

You open your mouth, ready, so willing to accept him. He’d never say no to you, and he’s not going to start tonight. His tongue eagerly slips into your warm cavern and is immediately greeted by yours as he traces and flirts with it.

God, the taste of you is perfect.

If he could drink every bit of your saliva, thick and minty, he would.

Sakura pulls back, his chest aching a bit as he does so, but this question is important.

Breathy, soft whispers from a mind and body that is so lost in his lust for you can’t stop him from checking on your well-being. “Is this… you ok?”

“Mmmhmm”

His thrusts are steady and deep, practically slow, as he pulls out until the head of his dick stretches your tight hole to the thickest part of him. He’s then languidly pushing back in, savoring you and how you feel around him. He knows the feeling so well, yet it feels novel every time.

His eyes watch your face as your brows furrow; your tongue darts out past your lips to moisten them, the way your mouth falls open when he grinds the tip of his dick against your g-spot.

You’re so beautiful.

His hand travels down and finds your clit. His thumb gently pushes the hood back, flattening the pad of his thumb he gently flicks at the sensitive bundle of nerves. You’re so warm and drooling with want from him that he lets out a whimper.

“I love you.”

Your breathing quickens, but you lap up his words like they are a scarcely available resource. When Haruka Sakura tells you he loves you, he means it.

“Love you too, Kitten.”

“I want to make you cum. You think you can be a good girl for me and cum?”

“Yes, baby, I’d love that. Almost there, please don’t stop, Haru.”

“No, never.”

He leans down and takes a nipple into his mouth, moaning as your fingers rake through his hair. Every part of you is his favorite, but your breasts hold a special place in his heart. He sucks on them maybe a bit too eagerly, but you don’t seem to mind; as he pops each nipple out his mouth, they glisten with saliva and stiffen into needy peaks.

Your pussy is clenching him more now; he can tell that you’re close, and he loves that he can do this for you.

His thrusts have picked up slightly in speed, but they’re harder—communicating more want—the headboard now bucking against the wall and making consistent banging noises. As your cum splashes out of you with every flick of his hips, your inner thighs and his abs being coated in nothing but your slick, you pull him down flush against your soft body.

You see your orgasm before you feel it like fireworks exploding in your brain and setting off each pleasure sensor as your eyes dilate. You get that wonderful lightheaded feeling that comes with taking too many rapid breaths in a short amount of time.

Sakura moans as you clench around him, your walls gripping the head of his cock and massaging that sensitive spot on the underside of his dick. He can feel hot, white streams of his cum pouring into you, filling up every inch of you until your walls are painted white with his seed. He gives you a few more final, deep thrusts to ensure that his nut is deep and buried in what’s his, his thighs trembling at the idea of you being stuffed to the brim with his love, making him absolutely weak.

“Mmm, pervert. Did you just nut inside of me?”

He pulls away, leaning across the bed to grab a towel that’s settled nearby—first to clean you up, dabbing at your folds and thighs, and then himself.

“Sorry, should have used your face for target practice. Go pee so you don’t get a UTI.”

He helps you up; your eyes are still half-open as he guides you to the bathroom. As he hears the click of the door and the sound of a steady stream hitting sitting water, he turns to continue his routine.

Sakura grabs the previously discarded white tee, places it on the bed for you, and then heads to the kitchen. He grabs a glass of water and a granola bar, just in case, and places both items on your side of the nightstand.

He looks down at the sheets and briefly considers changing them; streaky, white, wet stains stand out as evidence of your lovemaking, but he hears the sound of water coming from a faucet, and he doesn’t want to hinder your sleep any longer.

You exit the bathroom, rubbing your eyes and yawning.

“Here,” he says, getting up with the shirt, pulling it over your head and down your body, and then guiding you back to bed.

You snuggle up next to him, and you drift off. Typically, Sakura might spend this time staring at you, wondering what you’re dreaming about as your face gives way to adorable expressions in your sleep, but this time, he joins you in your slumber instead.

#anon fulfilled #wind breaker #windbreaker smut #sakura haruka smut #haruka sakura smut #haruka sakura x reader #sakura x reader #sakura haruka x reader #haruka sakura #anon #request

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hollyhomburg · 4 months ago

Text

Before I Leave You (Pt.73)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: You are everything to Yoongi, the yoke in his egg, the daffodils on the sidewalk, the sunshine in the morning. Everything. He just had to remember it.

Tags: Nightmares, angst, hurt/comfort, mention of food issues but they're only talked about in terms of the m/c getting better.

W/c: 10.0k

A/n: the irony of this chapter is that it's going to come out during the wedding of the two people who live in the house that inspired bily, the last time i was there there where sprouts growing in every windowsill and a fluffy throw on every couch so <3 everything will be alright wont it? the house is filled with love in this universe as well as the bily one <3

Previous part- Masterlist - First part

Downstairs, you and Hobi are shrouded in a particular kind of fuzzy warmth. The kind that only comes from knowing you do not have to be in control anymore. That there is no hidden consequence waiting for you. no shoe to drop. no monster under your bed.

The downstairs is shrouded in that kind of quiet and comfort that comes with warm evenings and supple hands that have nothing to do but loving and set about diligently at that task. Like cold breezes in summer, icing and chocolate, and sunshine on raspberries warming their sugar.

But the upstairs nest room is not so peaceful.

Tae’s post-coitus talks are legendary at this point, as Yoongi sits on the edge of the nest, not looking at her because to look at Tae is to encourage more truth to fall from her lips. He busies himself with tucking jungkook in. Sprawled asleep. And tries not to listen to the truth that Yoongi neither wants nor believes he needs.

Right now his brain is fuzzy and prone to believing her.

There are small things all around the nest, pieces of the pack and remnants and evidence of the time the three of them spent here hours ago taking Jungkook apart and putting him back together again. Fucking then sleeping then waking up to fuck again. The arousal burns low at present, sated for now.

A discarded shirt of Jungkook’s sits tangled in a pair of handcuffs because he’d gotten too squirmy for Tae's liking, a silk scarf of Tae’s because he’d gotten mouthy too. A notepad and a bit of paper. Lines scrawled out because Tae’s post-knot clarity always gives her a few good poems, a few good lines.

Yoongi doesn't have to read them to know they're about you. Almost everything Tae writes has You and Jimin in it. The others are there too every now and then- but if Tae had to say it Yoongi knows you and Jimin are her muses.

It takes Tae a few months to digest her feelings into something palatable. Yoongi didn’t need to ask what time period it was written about as he read over her shoulder, pressing kisses to her lips between the lines. Trying not to be a distraction but wanting to be a distraction worthy of Tae’s attention.

This poem that he'd watched her scrawl out, pen to her lips between stanzas. It has the first few months of your relationship all over it.

I know I over-feed the cat, but I can’t help it. If you could eat the love I have for you what would it taste like? Would it be mangoes- Sticky, yellow, sweet. Eat Till the threads of it get stuck Between your teeth. Would it leave you full and sleepy- like bread and pasta? Rigatoni, Penne, pastina stars The candy toothache of my heart Swells thick and gummy. Eat up. I must admit I grow addicted to the brown sugar of your being. Would my love stain the edge of your smile? Like strawberries? Blueberries? Black? I must admit I am afraid of food metaphors When it comes to you. Because just like with food, I fear if I don’t give you enough You’ll go starving, Out of some sense Of beauty and responsibility. Could you love me enough, Would you love me enough if I’m good? Salt, fat, acid, heat. What is owed at our table- A full meal or half? Desert or just a snack? Just tea please, I’m not hungry. I already ate. I know I overfeed the cat, but I can’t help it- I can’t help it at all. If you would eat the love I have for you, Would you still want to be so skinny? Love is warm bellies and not hollow throats. Love cares not for second portions, Only 8 courses Love is a bowl of soup It warms from the inside out. I know I overfeed the cat.

Noodle purrs nearby, the subject of the conversation earlier today that no doubt inspired Tae. Heaped between a pillow and a rolled-up blanket looking overstuffed- like one of your stuffed animals that litter the nest up here and the one downstairs. Jin had gotten a little overzealous on the jellycat website during christmas time.

He's gotten rather chubby, his middle more round than just fluffy. His pudgy tomcat face is charming, eyes blinking slowly as he watches Yoongi toil with his emotions.

"We should put him on a diet" You'd lamented, still feeding him treats, in the kitchen this afternoon. Yellow light slipped through the windows and lunch plates piled high in the sink. A carton of coffee-caramel ice cream and mango sorbet gathering condensation nearby. On your knees before his bowl. Because if you all got after-lunch ice cream treats then he should get some too.

"Don't you dare, he's perfect this way." Tae had replied, scandalized, and made the point of giving Noodle an extra scoop of food and you an extra spoonful of sweet frozen milk.

Yoongi knows that your comment had stayed on Tae's mind just like he knows that it's not just Noodle you were talking about. How many times has he seen you pull down the edge of your shirt over the past few weeks? Or reach for Hobi's baggier sweatshirts? Or sho them all out the door when you shower intent on doing it alone.

The pack loves group showers, there will probably be one on the way tonight from the sound of it. Yoongi doesn't doubt that the pack will leave you messy and sated. A little too sleepy too. Someone will have to help.

His fingers drum quietly on the bed. Nervous. Waiting. A little annoyed- but Yoongi's not sure where it comes from.

A loud slap from downstairs punctuates the quiet. Yoongi just barely flinches. And Yoongi wonders if you'd let them see you naked tonight or if you'd been too nervous for it. Or if Seokjin and Namjoon will make everything, your anxieties and your fears and your feelings of inadequacy, feel small.

They'll make you feel small too. Omegaspace is all but a guarantee tonight.

But he's not allowed downstairs to double-check that you're alright. (He is, he's just not sure you even want him downstairs- which is another thing entirely. Would his presence make you more nervous? More likely to go into appeasement mode because you think that's what he wants?)

Tae has a habit of reminding him when he's being a shithead.

Now Yoongi wishes for Tae’s attention to be elsewhere. On a poem. On Jungkook. On anything. Yoongi has gotten very good at lying to himself over the past few weeks. But somewhere across the lines I’m still angry at her, turned into I should still be angry. He’s not quite sure when that changed. But he knows he's holding onto his anger, that it's growing slippery, but that he's not ready for it to go away.

Yoongi will do anything to keep you, to make you stay. And that’s part of the problem. He's scared of his own capacity for forgiveness. What you might take if he gives you another chance. He's scared that you'll go and take all of him with you.

He's scared- sure, but he's not really angry anymore.

He's just tired- tired of feeling so much, tired of feeling things so intensely. Tired of worrying, of keeping you at arm’s length and wondering if I let you back in now have you learned not to do this again? Or will you just say you’ll change?

Yoongi will always love you- will always be your mate. But he doesn’t want to be sitting and waiting all the time wondering if you’re thinking about leaving again.

You’ve already tried to do that twice; the third time would be the charm.

Jungkook slumbers belly down in the nest, his soft huffs of breath coming frequently and at a steady pace. He’s quite a vision with his rippling back muscles and splayed thighs. With Hickeys on his skin from Yoongi's own mouth where the skin goes soft and dark. Knees apart to limit the soreness he must be feeling from the knot. Covered at the waist but only just so with a thin sheet. The tops of his thighs shiny with cooling slick. Yoongi’s eyes hover on Jungkook as he looks back.

Tae's voice keeps it hush, mindful of Jungkook's sleep schedule but not of the fragileness of Yoongi's heart.

"If you worry you suffer twice. Her leaving and you not forgiving her- isn't the result the same?"

Jungkook's sleeping form will offer him no savior from Tae’s words, he’d say the same thing- they all would. "Do you really want the distance she's been trying to give you Yoongi? Because I really don't think you do"

You've been fucking miserable these last few weeks. Is what she doesn't say but wants too. Yoongi knows it. Can taste the unfinished business on the air in the form of Tae's wilting rose and cinnamon scent. The heady horny edge to it wareing away.

It’s quiet downstairs but it hadn’t always been; between your pleas and Hobi’s growls and then your cries that had made Yoongi gnash his teeth. Sobbing echos that made Yoongi flinch. Distant cries of “m’ sorry m-" and Jin’s joining croon of “good pup, come to daddy, I’ve got you my sweet little thing, I’ve got you.”

But it’s quieting down now. Yoongi can only just hear a little bit of the hushed voices when he strains his ears. He can’t hear you at all when Tae’s talking.

Jungkook stays asleep, completely lost to the world, He needed two cocks to settle, Jungkook always sleeps for a long time after scenes, even simple cute ones like this. You’re the same. Yoongi knows you’re the same. That you usually doze after cumming, so sleepy- like your body gives up under the force of too much pleasure. And that even awake you’re pliant and drowsy. (He loves it when you get that way).

You’ll never have to worry about insomnia the way that Tae and Yoongi do. If it ever gets too bad, the pack will only ever fuck you to bed.

Which is why Yoongi’s restless, why he can’t sleep. Because you’re downstairs and not upstairs with him. He can pretend that's not why he's awake, but the truth remains. Eviscerated by Tae's pouting lips.

He heard you crying earlier. Coupled with Hobi’s yelps and Namjoon’s low croon. It was hard- harder than Yoongi expected, to resist the urge to go down to you. Grating, the mental equivalent of nails on a chalkboard to tune out the sounds of his mate in distress.

It's not distress, he knows that- logically Yoongi knows that the pack would never do anything you didn't consent to.

And still…

"That's not it Tae, that's not it at all." Yoongi denies, but the lie is blatant even to his own lips.

Yoongi is harder to settle than Jungkook. Tae knows this. Folded against the nest, her silky lavender dress pulled back on after fucking Jungkook, small breasts pillowing, hickeys dotting the top of them both faded and not. Some of them are from Jungkook- fresh and pink- but a few might be from you a few days prior.

She snorts, "isn't it? You're both just doing what you think will give you the least amount of pain- instead of actually confronting each other about this. Do you know what I think hyung?”

Just about every packmate has a newfound obsession with Tae’s chest. The tender swelling sensitivity just there. Tae hasn’t gone up a cup size in a few months, she’s a B at best- but the pack still praises her for it. Still takes every opportunity to make her blush and show her their appreciation.

But still- sometimes Yoongi catches her in the mornings, putting on her lingerie that she wears under her clothes almost every days-tugging at the gaping in the front. She bought stuff a cup size up at the beginning- so did Namjoon and Jin and Jimin, endless pretty sets from for love and lemons and Victoria’s Secret that sit unworn.

Because they don’t fit- might not ever fit. Unless Tae does something drastic like surgery. Yoongi's surprised she hasn't asked for it yet.

Yoongi sighs, frustrated, “What Tae, what do you want to say?”

Tae flips over on her tummy, hair a little messy, grinning looking a bit like Noodle as she strokes gently down Yoongi’s jaw. He’s not wearing a shirt he just tugged on pajama pants so the scratch of her long nails down his skin makes goosebumps erupt all over his bare arms.

“I think punishing yourself isn’t a way to rewrite history. Punishing yourself isn’t going to make what happened go away. At this point- I think you’re keeping yourself away from her to prove a point- but the points already been proven.”

“That’s not it,” Yoongi says again. Like repeating it will make it true. Tae raises an eyebrow at him, swishing her legs, her white painted toenails flashing in the half-darkness.

“Don’t you want to make her see that it was a bad decision, isn’t that what you’re doing? Punishing her for going and punishing yourself for not being there when she made the choice to go?”

As if on cue Yoongi can hear it from the ground floor, the sound of your babbling giggles- you in omegaspace surely, a softly crooned “Good puppy, give him another treat, he’s earned it.” From Jin. Yoongi knows you’re cute and sweet and sensitive in your headspace downstairs, the idea of seeing you- touching you- without the burden of all this- is so tempting Yoongi’s hands hurt.

Yoongi’s hands tighten around Jungkook's elbow, his anchor, preventing him from going downstairs. When Yoongi turns back to look at Tae, her eyebrows are pulled together and she’s looking down at Jungkookie. He has a single hand tangled in the hem of her nightdress, fist closed, chubby and cute.

“What are you thinking?” Yoongi is always in the habit of asking that. It’s worth asking- so that you don’t have to wonder.

“You remind me of myself before I came out. Denying yourself love just because you want to be right- doesn’t make you right, it just makes you less loved.” Her eyes flick from Jungkook up to Yoongi.

Yoongi's hands are cold, the goosebumps on his arms are still there.

Yoongi is not human without your love. How many afternoons has Tae seen him staring off into space? How many more meals will Yoongi push around the food on his plate? How many mornings will his hair go unbrushed because Yoongi simply doesn't have the energy to brush it? Tae and the others make up for it a good deal, but at the end of the day, none of them are the person who Yoongi bonded his soul too.

Tae knows what sadness looks like, what depression looks like and she's learned a lot from you. She won't let this be more than a little blip in Yoongi's year.

Your love is one of the things that makes Yoongi feel human. Without you to love, and feeling like he shouldn't, Yoongi's a little unmoored, a little without purpose.

Tae detangles Jungkook’s fist from her dress gently, replacing his grip with a nearby item- another one of her dresses that the omega had so diligently woven into the outer rim of the nest. He curls around it protectively, purring gently. She covers him with a different thicker blanket to simulate her warmth. Then she sits up on her knees and starts to shuffle to the edge of the nest.

“Come on,”

“But Jungkook-”

“He’ll be fine for a second hyung.”

Tae hasn’t yet conditioned herself out of using that phrase, hyung. And Yoongi might remind her if it didn’t sound so sweet coming from her mouth. More of a pet name than anything else. Yoongi doesn’t mind. She can still call him hyung if she wants. They’ve had conversations about it before.

Tae stops, and turns back. The language thing- is one of her current fixations at the moment. “It’s not- just because that slips out doesn’t mean I’m not still a girl."

“I know baby. I’d never think that unless you told me- not that you’ve got to- not that-“

“No, I know. Thank you hyung.” Tae's teeth worry away at her lower lip.

“You can use Oppa too you know. If that feels nicer, or you can go back and forth and use both.”

“I know, I don’t know why I don’t like it as much, hyung makes me feel like you’ll always look after me.” Yoongi grabs Tae’s hands, tangled in the sheets, silken, pink.

“You know I always will.”

Tae uses that hand to her advantage. Pulling him up and out of the nest. Tae leads him down the dark stairs, her quiet giggles softening Yoongi’s anxiety, but when he gets down there, you're there.

You're small in Namjoon's lap, resting your cheek against the hollow of his throat. The pack alpha's shirt is completely unbuttoned now and you’ve hidden your face in his honey skin, rubbing your face all in it, cheeks pink and slowly purring. Guarding your eyes from the big light in the kitchen- where Jimin is getting Hobi a glass of water. Pants pulled on just barely, still hanging low. The scar on his shoulder pink and catching the light- just barely healing. Big on the back side and small on the front.

Yoongi just barely hears namjoons low and sweet growls, his sweet nothings. The way he cradles you gently but so fiercely to his chest Yoongi knows it's all instinct.

"I'm never gonna let anything happen to you- never again- I've got you pup, I've got you. "

The shirt you wear is big and dark, he knows already that it's his- probably pilfered from downstairs to comfort you. Yoongi's not really sure why that makes his throat close up. Even around all of them, even after all of that. It's still his scent you ask for. The one that cloaks you and covers you in the wake of this.

It hurts a little bit more than it should that Namjoon freezes when he sees Yoongi standing on the steps. Freezes, arms tightening just a little around you as you continue to nuzzle into the pack alpha's throat, Dozing and lost in the haze of aftercare.

His arms relax when Namjoon sees it's just the two of them, and tae floats over, dress swishing. "Oh alpha- did you make her all small and soft for me?"

Namjoons teeth look extra sharp as he beholds tae, as she strokes down his throat. To have another alpha touch him there should feel threatening, but Namjoon just feels satisfied. "Of course I did babygirl."

Hobi is more awake than you but so much further down in puppy space than Yoongi expected. The collar jingles faintly against his throat where he rolls his tongue lolling out. Belly up on the carpet and clearly enjoying Jin’s nails scrapping and petting and scratching over his tummy. Never too tired for more belly rubs, especially with a full stomach full of good pup treats (they're just dog bone-shaped chocolate chip cookies, a special all-organic kind that Jin buys from Etsy explicitly for this).

He’s shy- Hobi hasn’t had the time to indulge in puppy space in months, but now he tucks his face under Jin’s shirt and squirms. Happy to be on the receiving end of the pack Omega’s undivided attention. “Good puppy- what a good boy-“ Jin croons, eyes glassy and dark, biting his lip as he watches Hobi squirm and his tongue lol. Panting animatedly.

He’s needed this too- the sound of his praises fall so easy and natural from his pouted lips. And Hobi stills, ears pink when he looks to Yoongi and Tae in the doorway. Lucid for a breath. Tae’s arms are looped around Yoongi’s hips. Keeping him from slinking off, keeping him from feeling like he’s not wanted.

The pack alpha pears at them over the back of the couch. His arms slowly relax around you, nostrils flaring at the scents coming from both of them but mostly Yoongi. Namjoon looks, and glares, but he can smell it. How upset he really is, the undercurrent to his scent. Yoongi smells like chocolate and worry.

He tips his chin down, a clear command to come here.

“Yoongi wanted to make sure she was alright.” Tae supplies, Yoongi tries to deny it but Namjoon already knows. Namjoon’s grumble growl is warm and inviting as Tae guides Yoongi to sit. Your arms are loose around Namjoon’s neck. He’s quiet, but his eyes are shiny with alpha space, measuring every one of their movements like the pack alpha might measure threats. Guarding the pup in his arms very diligently.

“She’s tired, fell right off.” jimin says, coming over to stand above the four of you and watch as tae guides yoongi's hand out, to touch your back, to pet up and down gently. Jimin runs his hand over your wet cheek, picking a hair out from between your lips.

“Poor little pup” and Yoongi feels breathless but Namjoon and Tae make room for him to sit close. yoongi doesn't need to be guided to sit close to you, almost sideways in something like a hug. You sag just a little more into him, like you’re relaxed by Yoongi’s presence alone. Letting out soft huffs of breath against Namjoon's chest, tiny purrs start up anew, louder, deeper. Your spine curls at an uncomfortable angle like you can decide between Namjoon's chest and Yoongi's hands.

And then Tae takes both of your wrists, detangling them from Namjoon’s neck, the same moment that Namjoon starts to lift your hips.

Yoongi can’t even say anything, can’t even protest as they put you in his lap. You suction to his front like a starfish sinking deeper into dreamland and going more boneless by the breath. Yoongi starts to say something- nothing more than hollow protests.

But it feels so good to have you hear, settled over his lap. So good his breath hitches.

Your hands tangle in the front of his shirt, holding on tight- like you think he might go even in your sleep. Yoongi knows you feel that he’s here- although you might not remember it tomorrow. Maybe that's for the better.

he hesitates for a second, and then pulls you flush against him, hard.

Tae settles behind him and namjoon behind you. His big hands forcing the collar of his shirt to the side so the pack alpha can lean around you and nuzzle into the hollow of his throat. He barely has enough energy in him to open his mouth.

How lucky you and him are to have 6 people to watch over you like this. To make sure that you wake up safe, that you get everything you need before you drift off. Yoongi doesn’t have to do it on his own anymore. He hasn’t had to in months but that still doesn’t lose its novelty. Yoongi wonders if he’ll ever take it for granted.

Yoongi breathes deep and even.

“Thanks, Tae.”

“Of course, honey. Remember for next time- alpha knows best.” Yoongi’s cheek rests against the top of your head, and your breath tickles his neck.

“I know we’ve got to go upstairs, but can we stay like this for a second?” “Of course, honey.” Her fingers stroke through his hair, and Yoongi closes his eyes and tucks his face into the top of your head. One cuddle can't hurt. He can go back to being angry with you in the morning.

“You’ll stay like that until Alpha says you can get up.”

Tae’s giggle is sweet, Yoongi’s eyes are already closed, “Joonie-“

He can hear Namjoon's bashfulness in his voice, the kind of shyness that warms yoongi up from the inside out and reminds him that they're all still learning. “Sorry, I’m still- it’s still-”

“I know alpha.”

I know I know I know.

~-~

(Yoongi, a few days later)

(In the end, forgiveness is not something that is inevitable)

Yoongi doesn’t know that it’s a dream while it’s happening.

One moment he is entirely unaware, resting, asleep, at peace. And the next the nightmare climbs up the edge of his vision. Clinging to the darkness- dissolving like mist only in reverse. Like smoke sucked through a straw. Like burning- carving from the outside in, hungry and without purpose. Burning burning burning.

One moment nothing and the next there is so much red.

The first thing Yoongi knows is that he can smell something burning, he looks up and he’s in the living room of your house, no furniture yet. The inside is so white but not perfect- he can vaguely place the memory.

This is the way the house looked just after they finished re-plastering; Yoongi files the memory and finds its from months and months ago- during another spring. The floors are all fucked from the mess that the plasterers had left. White splotches here and there. Everything covered in ghostly white sheets, a drop cloth under Yoongi's knees that slowly bleeds red.

It's about a month before the pack came home maybe. The last month it was ever you and Yoongi and not You and Yoongi and everyone else.

Yoongi watches as the Flames lick at the white walls. There is something in his hands but he can't look down yet. Something- his brain doesn't want to look at it- it's easier to look at the flames. The fire is yellow and slow to hunger. Creeping almost lazily, like it has nothing but time to burn. He can do little more than watch, not too scared, just confused, as all of the hours and minutes of his hard work are eaten up by heat.

The fire comes from everywhere and nowhere- leaking silently up the walls, turning the plaster slowly from gold to brown, then black before it crumbles away into ashes. Slowly chewing away at the walls, and the windows. The doorknob rattles and somewhere close by Noodle yowls and scratches at something.

The next thing Yoongi knows is that you’re very very still. You’re not moving at all. Not even a little bit- those pupish twitches of your fingers or the wiggle of your nose when you scent his displeasure. Nothing. None of it.

Yoongi is holding you, you are so small, so fragile in his arms. Lighter than you are in reality as he shakes you and tries to get you to wake up. You smile in your sleep a lot, but you aren’t smiling now. The mating mark is blackened against your throat, a thin trail of black and red that rims your lips, bleeding down the corner of your mouth. Inky dark one second, bright crimson the next as a bit of blood drips down the side of your face.

There is so much blood. It's wet and it's cold despite the fire.

He calls your name, and you don't answer. Yoongi's own voice sounds muffled, Warbled. He keeps talking. Unsure what he's saying. He shouts and screams. But his voice never gets louder, you never wake up. He yells as loud as he can and you still don’t wake up.

It comes all at once, just like the fire.

There is blood on your throat too, so much it can't just be from your mouth. Bright and ruby, slipping down your collar bones and the hallow of your chest. Welling out from somewhere- somewhere that Yoongi can't see. Where are you hurt? Where is it coming from? Yoongi can't find the cause of the bleeding.

There is blood on your arms- trailing to the hallow of your elbow, between your legs, soaking through the white of his shirt, heavy and sticky and warm. Yoongi feels like he's suffocating. Yoongi searches for the source of the bleeding, fingers ruddy, soaking into his palms and his knuckles. Frantic as he tugs the hem of your shirt soaked through. The shorts at your hips- all red.

There is so much of it, so much of it that it pools around the two of you on the floor, slow and lazily, almost taunting Yoongi- just like the flames. Yoongi can do little more but watch you bleed out and hold you through it. Hold you as you die. Watch the red swallow you until there's nothing left of you. Just blood-soaked clothing. His breath hitches, suddenly painful in his lungs and his voice comes all at once. So loud it hurts him.

“Namjoon- please- someone help me- someone-”

Yoongi wakes in the nest completely alone. Jerking up so fast that it makes him dizzy. He's too warm. Hot and balmy. Sweat soaks the front of his shirt.

He pushes himself up in the empty nest on shaking hands. Blinking, looking around at the folded blankets, the pillows at the rim of the nook, the absence of any other living soul here.

(that's not entirely true, Noodle is perched on a nearby pillow purring loudly. That's as much comfort as he can possibly offer as he's sworn to hate his arch-nemesis for eternity. Even though Yoongi sort of gives the best chin rubs- although Noodle would never confess it and will take the secret to his grave).

The high ceilings are dark and hollow, the whole room drenched in that half twilight of closed drapes. Empty even though Yoongi looks- searching for his packmates, searching for anything to make his chest feel not so tight.

Noodle purrs loudly and blinks slow.

The Christmas lights have been turned off- probably to help him sleep. The light streaming through the cracks in the curtains is dissonant. But the room is quiet and cluttered- Hobi’s monstera looks freshly misted in the corner, and humidity clings to the windows and skylight up high.

Yoongi pulls himself up and heaves out a shaky breath. Chest tight. You- he needs to find you. Find you and make sure- make sure you're not- Yoongi lets out a shaky breath. A dream, that's all it was. Just a dream. But part of him can't believe it. What if it wasn't?

It’s still hard to tell. The panic won’t leave his lungs. At the front of his nose is the scent of burning things- and that is very very real.

It looks like the omega’s piled the blankets around him, a smaller ring of fluffy blankets to keep the last slumbering packmate safe from outside eyes. But with so many blankets- Yoongi has overheated. He's sweaty and sticky and gross feeling. He should probably shower before he goes downstairs, probably, but-

He needs to make sure you're alright, right now- before he falls apart. Noodle mewls lightly and pulls himself over to Yoongi, pushing up against his trembling fingers, licking at them until Yoongi scratches his chin.

It takes him a second, staring down at his sweat-soaked shirt- to distinguish that it is not blood, blinking and mistaking the light behind his eyes for red.

Yoongi doesn’t say anything and doesn’t call out for anyone. Can’t do anything but detangle himself from the mess of blankets and Noodle and follow the smell of burning things down down down the stairs. Feeling like a ghost with a bad taste in his mouth. A vague pressure behind his eyes and a numbness in his arms and hands from lying on them for so long. His blood circulates slowly and sluggishly.

You are standing on a kitchen stool when he skitters to a stop on bare feet at the bottom of the stairs.

Yoongi has to blink a few times to make sure he's not dreaming, that the walls are the same light pink color they always were. Not brick red but not creamy plaster white- off color like the flush at your cheeks.

The sweater you wear is Hobi's- extra big especially at the wrists, pulling down all the way to your elbow as you reach up to stop the beeping from the smoke alarm with a wave of a newspaper. Nose wrinkled at the smell of smoke. You don't have the crusties at your eyes and your skin is glossy. Seokjin probably did your skincare routine for you as the pack omega is prone to do with so much extra time for fussing these days.

There is no one else in the house but you. The top layer of the air in the kitchen is cloudy with smoke. Yoongi watches you and scrubs a hand over his face. You do not turn and look at Yoongi in the doorway, although you know it’s him just because you can sense when your mate comes close, either scenting him on the air or through the dull pulse of the mating park.

Your sense of smell has been getting a little bit better recently. Yoongi knows better than to chalk it up to your weight gain but your health checkup earlier this week had been a lot more promising than the one before. Yoongi had gone to the appointment with you, and you’d perked up almost immediately when you realized he wasn’t going to give you the distant silent treatment again, all but skipping into the exam room.

He’d even let you hold his hand while they took your blood. He’s never had the heart to leave you scared. Never. Not even when he's angry at you.

Your hormones are leveling out, although there are no signs of you going into heat yet. Another 3 months of no change and you've promised Namjoon to at least talk about hormone therapies.

Tae had reassured you that it wasn't so bad with a kiss on your forehead and a hand at your hip. Covering the place where you, like Tae, might one day receive the weekly injections by Namjoon's hands.

It’s daunting. The idea of sitting through the same kind of treatment that Tae gets; the clink of the glass bottles on the counter, the pearly sound of glass hitting tile. The cold swipe of a swab and the press of a needle.

Namjoon’s always gentle.

You'd be inclined to just leave it alone- but your doctor had been very insistent, something about possible fertility issues if you want to have pups one day. It’s hard to get pregnant outside of a heat, nearly impossible. This isn't an issue that can be just pushed under the rug if pups are something you want to have with the pack someday.

Namjoon and Tae had perked up a little when the idea of pups had been broached. But Yoongi had remained at the fringes of the room- silent. Yoongi thinks about your scent changing the same way Tae's did- how it went from cinnamon and pepper to cinnamon and roses.

He'd never tell her because Yoongi would never want to make Tae feel self-conscious about her own much-needed changes, but he doesn't like the idea of your scent changing the same way.

Deep down Yoongi wonders if you’d want to have pups if it wasn’t what the pack wanted. He’s not sure he’d be able to handle it, a little bundle of you and him and the whole big fucking world with all its wicked people. Yoongi knows peace now but still doesn't trust it. Wouldn't trust it especially if it was just him and you and a little life- so unprotected and vulnerable.

Yoongi doesn’t like feeling this way; vulnerable.

He breathes in a deep breath of your scent, warm and sweet and slightly smooth, not frazzled or scared sour (the way he first knew your scent to be, back before he even knew that you smelled like cake and not rain). You smell completely unaffected, unworried, and unharmed. You don't smell at all like you would have in Yoongi's dream. You don't smell like you're dying.

So why is his heart still beating out of his chest?

He crosses the kitchen in a few shakey strides, just as you start to speak. “Hobi made pancakes but Jin and him started making out and they like totally forgot about them! So they’re out getting breakfast sandwiches, I didn’t wanna wake you so I just got you-”

Your voice cuts off abruptly as Yoongi lines his face up with your spine and plants his nose there, breathing in your scent once, then again shaky. Nuzzling into your lower back. Arms around your waist, gripping your hips.

You make a little noise, questioning, looking down at him with a mixture of shock and concern. and you should be shocked and concerned- it's been nearly a month since your mate hugged you- let alone clutched you to his chest like this. It’s roughly the same sound that Noodle makes when you wake him up with pets.

He holds around your waist as you stand on the ladder, three feet up. His hands tangle with the fabric at your hips. he blinks looking down and away, at the floor.

“Yoongi!? What’s wrong?”

Dimly, he's aware that he’s supposed to be angry at you. He flushes, the blood hot and pink at his cheeks. You’re not supposed to be speaking really- at least not about things that matter and to be fair- Yoongi cannot speak right now. Burying his face in your back until the feeling of your blood on his hands is a distant memory. Feeling the warmth of your skin until the idea of you cold and still no longer bothers him.

Not a memory- a dream. Not a memory. He has to remind himself a second time. Remind himself enough that by the time he doesn't belive it the space to answer your question comes and goes.

Your eyebrows lower and you set a hand on his head, threading routinely into his hair- long, shaggy and dark. And he pushes further into your skin and into your touch the same way plants press into sunlight.

Yoongi is so tired of being angry, he's so tired of being scared. Your hand touches his cheek and his eyes flutter. Lips parting. Namjoon cuddled him just last night- but Yoongi will always be touch starved just for you.

Your breath hitches, "Oh Yoongi."

his arms tighten around you, like he's worried you're going to slip through his arms like smoke. "Bad dream?" You ask, it's a state that you are only too familiar with as he hums non-committal. you turn around halfway so that you can put your hands on his shoulders and touch him. Yoongi almost wants to keen at the contact, almost wants to tell you he likes it too much- which would be embarrassing. He nods against your back.

He missed this, missed this A lot. He missed you. Yoongi's eyes are itchy.

This is the first time he’s held you since you almost left, besides that moment in the car when you were both so angry and so broken it hardly mattered. Yoongi swallows, and he still can’t speak when he tries. Hiding his face in your spine, your hip when you turn, back hugging you because even on a ladder he is still mostly taller than you. Shaking faintly, still shaking off the fucking dream.

His voice is croaky, not all there when his voice box finally cooperates. “Can you get off?"

You get down from the stepstool instantly. His hands tangle in the side of your shirt to steady you. Unwilling to go more than a few inches from you. You're always so wobbly in the mornings before you've eaten and Yoongi is ever mindful.

The sweater you wear has a small doodled bunch of flowers on the front, a botanical print. Yoongi thinks he remembers if vaguely- from a trip Hobi and Namjoon took to the botanical garden a few years ago. It's got holes in the arms like Hobi has snagged it one too many times on rose bushes. Yoongi threads his fingers through them and holds on.

You stare up at him from the floor like you’re waiting for his instruction. Eyes wide and glassy and pretty and alive.

Yoongi stills, breath hitching- at the sight of a bit of red on your lips.

It's off to the side, on your bottom lip almost hidden by where your smile sits. Yoongi's face crumples a little at the sight of it.

Yoongi reaches up with shaking hands to touch it, wiping it away. You follow his hand. He looks down at the smudge on his finger. The little bit of red.

“Oh! That was from Tae she-" You break off when he pulls you back to him, crushing you to his chest. And you surely can’t know what’s going wrong or what Yoongi’s just dreamed but you let him man handle you regardless.

He's sort of glad that no one else is home, that it's just you and him here for a few moments. The quiet of the house is all encompassing- beyond the sound of wind sneaking under the windowsills and the pitter-patter of the drizzle outside. Noodle meows dolefully from the stairs, coming to see why Yoongi had abandoned him so abruptly (the nerve of him.)

Yoongi rests his full weight on you, crushing you to his chest. You push his hair back away from his face, and Yoongi keeps his eyes closed like that will keep the feeling here for longer. Like he's worried if he opens his eyes the nightmare will be here again.

Your hands, his face, small fingers that push at the wetness that he doesn’t name dripping under his eyes. His breath comes out in short little gasps.

There is rain outside, pattering against the window. It’s been raining a lot over the last few days. Soaking the soil in the pre-spring cold. It won't be long now and everything will be green again. Hobi will plant the window boxes, and you'll be able to put the ferns out. You and Tae will start wearing your matching dresses all the time and it will become Yoongi's job to cut the watermelon because he's the only one in the house trusted besides Jin with the big knives. He'll cut up orange slices and peaches and strawberries too. Everything for his loves and their hungry mouths and hungry hearts.

Soon but not yet. Spring and summer are just around the corner but they're not here yet and yoongi is painfully aware of that.

You don’t ask him why he’s crying; you don’t look him in the eyes when he opens them, just continue your careful petting through his hair, eyes flickering up, then down and away. The twist of your lips is guilty.

You are not bleeding; you are alive and Yoongi cannot stand it. The weight of memories he didn’t live weighs on him, still memories. He breathes out a shaky breath. And double-checks his fingers are absent of blood after he rubs over your throat. Checking.

You pull at him, hands on his shoulders. “Come on-“

You pull him through the quiet halls, and into the room at the very back of the house. Noodle follows too with a jingle of his purple bell collar.

The windows here are cracked to let in the chilly spring air- pushing out the last mustyness of winder and bringing with it the smell of rain. The nesting nook is dark and cozy-tempting; but full of stuffed animals and extra nesting pillows that you scoop out of the interior and put on the floor with such care. Lining them up against the outside of the nook. All to make room for him.

Yoongi holds onto the hem of your sweater, rubbing a fist against his eye. Like a clingy child. But he has to let you go when you turn. he can feel the pout on his face and you reach up to smooth it out. You only pause for a second, briefly, “Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Yoongi shakes his head, still wordless, unable to make his mouth cooperate. You don’t say anything, you don’t do anything but pull him into the warm dark quiet of the nesting nook.

Yoongi hasn’t spent so much time with you in here, but it’s surprisingly well-ventilated, the woven fabric sides of it dark but breathable. There’s not a lot of room but you make it work. Scooting back and pulling him down and down and down.

You pull him to rest against your chest, between your legs. Your hips splayed to let him curl up and nuzzle into you- in something like a full-body hug. Yoongi is too tired and too shaky to protest. He can’t even say he doesn’t want to but you check anyway- your movements slow as you get him situated.

Your heartbeat thuds quick against his fingertips. Yoongi wants to tell you that you don’t need to be scared, you don’t need to be afraid of overstepping. But can’t make his mouth cooperate.

His arms loosely circle around your waist, and then harder to crush you against him. At this position, you have full reign to run your fingers through his hair, over his shoulders, and down and up again. He knows he smells sweaty and probably rancid. But he nuzzles into your skin at the low neckline of the sweater. He puts his ear against your heart. Thud thud thud. Slowing down and evening out. You're right here and just under him, safe, and his eyelids are so heavy.

“Is this better? Do you need to go back to sleep?” Yoongi nods and doesn’t need to say another word.

Sleep rises up frightfully quick to meet him. He's not at all convinced that he hasn't dreamed it all. Finding you, coming here, and curling up. A dream within a dream. A good one in exchange for the nightmare earlier.

But this time he doesn’t dream at all, and even if he does, it’s only the sound of your heartbeat- thud thud thud. His own heartbeat thins out, and the tenseness in his shoulders relaxes.

Yoongi wakes up because a tomato has just fallen on his face.

You’re trying to be quiet, but Hoseok understandably laughs from where he’s holding out a half-unwrapped breakfast sandwich into the nesting nook for you to take a bite. Yoongi can vaguely place the words just whispered over his head. 'You guys eat without us, I don't want to wake him' 'Okay, but have a bite first- you know they're better when they're warm'

Your laughter shakes against his cheek, your jaw clicks as you chew, and when he picks himself up, the tomato slides down his face, syrup slow. Until it flops against your throat. You and Hobi devolve into louder giggles and Yoongi can't stop the laugh that comes from his chest too.

The ruse is up, and you're all laughing. “Oh my god Hobi you promised to be quiet,”

Hoseok's one knee depresses the side of the nesting nook as he leans. Grinning down at Yoongi. Long fingers splayed around his ribs, making Yoongi shiver. The alpha pulls at his hips, and Yoongi feels a bit like a chew toy but in the best way, to be between the two of you laughing. “Come on Yoon- we’ve got you one too-“

Yoongi lets you both puppet him into the other room. Stumbling between the two of you. Until Hobi ducks low and nuzzles, and Yoongi just resorts to watching the two of you.

The way your hand goes from holding Yoongi's to touching Hobi's palm, then back to his like a bumblebee darting between flowers. A small smile works its way onto Yoongi's face. Even more when you pinch Hobi's ass and Hobi acts appropriately scandalized. Only you could get in on his and Jungkook's near-perpetual ass-touching competition.

(Yoongi's smile grows wider without him even realizing it).

There is a spread on the dining room, three heavy brown paper bags not just of breakfast sandwiches wrapped in checkered paper but biscuits in syrupy gravy, french toast sticks with honey yellow syrup, and a whole tray of tater tots that Jin pops into his mouth with a satisfying crunch. Half of the pack is still in their pajamas; it can't be later than 11.

Namjoon and Jimin are noticeably absent from the table- at work. But Hobi, Jin, and Tae are setting up the plates. Jungkook's already showered from his morning run- his hair all locky and tangled.

Tae looks a vision in a pair of flared yoga pants and Yoongi just blinks at her thighs, not realizing he’s staring until Hobi pinches his thigh for it. You laugh too and pull out the chair next to him with a squeak while Hobi hands out sandwiches and Jungkook cuts them into perfect triangles.

Yoongi blinks down at his plate, and he’s got a quarter of everyone’s sandwich on his, easily more than he can eat but still- You trade, cutting thirds and halves to try them all. Yoongi stares at them and feels fresh wetness on his lash line. Tae notices him staring, and she’s got sesame seeds stuck in what's left of her lipstick when she smiles.

“We didn’t know what you liked- so we got you two.”

And oh, Yoongi can’t breathe. The love in his chest bullies away the oxygen. How lucky he is to have people that get him two sandwiches instead of one, how lucky he is to have a house full of laughter and warm bellies and-

Hobi gets him a cup of coffee, Jin nurses his, thick-rimmed glasses and warm cheeks chubby as he looks across the table at Yoongi like he knows. He leans across the table to tangle their hands while he flips through his phone. Leaving the beta to his overfull heart.

“Tae- your nail appointment isn’t until 1- would you like Jinnie to curl your hair for you?”

“Can we try a new style this time? Space buns?” Tae asks so so sweetly- already wearing lipgloss even though she must have barely left the house. The smile never falters, just spreads wider when he stares at the glossy pink.

Jin hums, happy, "Of course."

"I love you guys" Yoongi whines. looking at Jin because he can't look at you. Telling everyone- because he can't tell just you. And really it's the truth. Jin blinks and looks up at him. A smile spreading on his chubby cheeks.

"Aw- someone's sappy." Hobi teases. "For the record, love you too"

"for the record; He just woke up" You peck the back of Yoongi's neck and shivers erupt all over his body. you lean behind him to swat at Hobi's shoulder. "Give him a break." The sound of chairs scraping hides Yoongi's whine and his blush.

"For the record, Love you too bun,"

Tae snorts, eyebrows knitting together as Jungkook sits on her lap instead of the chair right next to him. "Weird, but I like it" she pauses, "for the record."

Yoongi rolls his eyes, "oh my god stop-"

"For the record; Hobi started it."

"You guys call me bunny and bun all the time- I should be able to use it too!" Jungkook smirks, pausing for dramatic effect. "for the record."

Yoongi groans and you giggle. "Okay I'm done," Yoongi's smiling anyway

You sit, a little clumsy, and your coffee spills a little onto the dark wood table. Jin wipes it up with a tut, eyes still on the schedule. “There’s nothing else much for today just Tae’s appointment. Anyone else want to do anything?”

“Wanna cook together tonight?” You ask, Yoongi pulls your chair over to rest against his properly, he can still pull you over with little effort but it’s getting harder each day.

It’s a good sort of hard. You have half of a sandwich on your plate a quarter of Tae’s and another small corner in your hand half gone already. Yoongi should start working out with Jungkook- so that he’s as strong as you need him to be.

You look at him, and then down at your nearly pressing thighs, “wanted you to be closer to me.” He says, and then cringes, Hobi laughs at him and hits his plate with a metal clink. You just hum and turn back to your breakfast. Yoongi can see the smile in the curve of your cheek, can see it in full when he turns your face to wipe away the sesame seeds stuck to your mouth too.

"Yeah, what do you want to make Jin?"

You talk it through. You and Yoongi and Jin- easily launching into what you'll make, what you'll bake and barter for another night of full bellies and a full house of love. and although it involves a trip to a grocery store, it's easily set into motion.

Hobi asks you if you’ll walk with him to work today, he has to go in a few minutes and it’s not that far of a walk. 10 minutes. Half a mile.

But you say you’ll go only if Yoongi does too and he’s agreeing before he even realizes it. But as far as mornings go, walking Hobi to work and getting to walk home with you isn’t the worst way things could go. Not by far. Neither is the way that you tug his jacked tighter against his throat in the doorway of the flower shop. The roses in the windowsill all yellow.

“I’m really not all that cold.”

“Still, I always want you to be warm”

"I like taking walks after breakfast," you say after another few minutes of walking. Light. Calm. The cold air encourages more pink from your cheeks. The sun streaming through the leafless branches now that the storm has pulled off.

"We can do it tomorrow if you want." Whatever you want.

Maybe you’ll even hold hands (you will, Yoongi will reach for your hand first, and you’ll walk in quiet that isn’t so quiet all turn to you pointing to someone’s porch and the flowers they’ve already put out in their pots. Bright pansies, splotches of color among the springtime drudgery, and the million shades of grey and taupe.

“Do you think we can plant flowers soon?” Yoongi will say maybe, but Hobi will bring a flat of pansies home before either of you can text and ask.

But that will be later. For now, Yoongi just looks at you next to him on the dining room table, thumb rubbing up and down your thigh, forgetting to chew as he looks at you. Forgetting to take a bite of the sandwich slowly falling apart in his hands. The cheese and the egg sliding out. Both yellow, both yummy, both needed.

Yoongi looks at you until Tae reaches over to pinch his thigh and he jumps. The egg in his sandwich slips out, hitting his plate with a slap.

Yoongi smiles, (really, the love is spreading like wildfire, slipping in through the windows like beams of sunlight, moving easily and unabated, like light through air).

“Eat your breakfast hyung- it’s getting cold.” She chirps.

Yoongi gladly complies, hungrier than he's been in years.

(In the end, forgiveness is not something that is inevitable. Forgiveness is something that you want to give, you have to want it with that person and they have to want it too. You have to give.

Yoongi will give and give and give.)

~-~

It happens on one of those evenings:

The nesting room is silent with the sound of sleeping packmates. The long curtains piled on the floor and two sets of bunny slippers sit unattended by the nest entrance because Jungkookie’s toes get cold sometimes and you like to match. His blue and yours pink. The Christmas lights up above are dimmed to a soft moonlit glow, lighting the bodies of your sleeping pack; gentle and heaped like sweet pavlova.

The door at the top of the stairs is open. There’s nothing to keep out tonight; no darkness or bad dreams. Nothing to fight off besides the vague feeling of childlike adventure that you gladly welcome inside. Not the sound of Noodle zooming around downstairs or the creeks of the house that’s almost finished.

Almost, it’s getting there. Yoongi has been working hard.

You and Hobi turn restless tonight. The only ones truly awake. Not with unease or with nightmares- too real and long gone. It’s not the memories of people with silver hair and dishonest smiles that keep you awake. Those villains are for dragons vanquished or papers in ashes that will never rise again to taunt you with their secrets.

There is no tower that you’re trapped in, at least not physically. Even mentally too. Any mental foes or sickness left in the confines of your head can wait until a later date.

Maybe it’s because of the full moon, the pearl bubble of your soul that matches and turns and keeps you awake, restless beneath the pink light. Maybe it’s because you both napped earlier with Yoongi in the nesting pod.

You’ve been doing that a lot more frequently over the last few days, taking little moments with Yoongi; spending breakfast in bed, cooking together most nights, sitting next to him always. Even small dates. Not even fancy ones but silly little outings that make you feel younger than you are.

Trips to his old coffee shop where he met Jin. His and Hobi's old record store, and Hobi's flower shop. Sometimes you leave separately and meet there to make it feel more like a date date. And Yoongi pretends he's surprised by the color of lipstick that Tae chose and you admire the ruffle of his tousled hair (he fussed with it for a few minutes in his car).

You'd never had a chance to date properly the first time.

It makes your relationship feel newer than it is. It makes you feel like you're making an effort instead of just having fun with your mate. It makes you feel like the drips of yellow paint on your sleeve- that had gotten there during the little sip and paint that you did last Thursday.

You'd gotten so giggly on cheap wine that you had to call Namjoon to pick you both up. You’d gotten handsy in the backseat and filled the car with the scent of arousal strong enough that Namjoon’s knuckles had gone white on the steering wheel. Barely a brain cell to scrape together to concentrate on driving.

Or the next day when you’d gotten dolled up just to go to different bakeries and sample cakes, eating them in the car with the windows rolled all the way down and the heat blasting. “This ones so good, have a bite.”

The two of you might be foodies actually, you might have found a shared hobby with it- testing pastries and food. You like the little things like fancy chocolates and fancy teas. It’s going to be your thing- the sweets. You can tell.

But for now, Yoongi sleeps peacefully not far from you as you look over at Hobi, eyes open in the darkness, face upturned, chest rising and falling just a bit too quick for him to be totally asleep. The windows are open and the night air is cool. You can press as close to the others as you want and you won't get too hot. You'd taken full advantage of this hours ago, snug tight under Namjoon's arm. His soft snore a special sort of lullaby.

You haven’t felt this calm in years. It doesn't make you choke up because you've felt this way before and you're getting used to it. The springtime air smells like rain, like the ocean already although you know it sits miles and miles away.

It might be another false spring- but the pack takes what it can get.

The nest is still quiet when you turn to Hobi and find his eyes open and bright in the darkness. Namjoon’s phone on the shelf reads 5:04 am. It's early enough to go back to bed but instead, you scoot over to Hobi when you see he’s awake, gently setting yourself first over Namjoon’s chest and then sliding down his other side to get to him.

Quieting Hobi’s sleepy giggles with an equally sleepy kiss pressed unhurried to his lips. His hands come up loosely to circle your waist, tired, sleepy. Your lips stay pressed for a breath too long. And Hobi shivers at the feeling of your warm skin pressed to his cold cheek.

It’s still dark outside, not even the faintest breath of the sunrise cresting the trees. You lie there on your stomach, looking at him and stroking a hand down his cheek in the darkness. You just watch him until he turns at you. A bright mischievousness in his eyes. A bad idea or a very good one depending on how you look at it- cresting his mind.

“You know if we leave right now, we can probably get to the beach before sunrise.”

Bad ideas are made better when chased with dreams, it’s only been a month since everything went down, and maybe two since this got normal between the two of you. The kissing, the looks, the touching. That’s different, but it's still just you and Hobi.

He's still your best friend.

The softness runs a little deeper now. He'll always understand you a little better, a little more than the others. Although you'll give them a few years to try and catch up. Hoseok's love is a little softer, like a sunrise instead of a sunset. With no bursts of color just dark blue one minute and light blue the next, baby blue to blush tones to that weird yellow green of the sunlight.

You smile into the next kiss, eyes opening wider now, and you know you won't easily go back to sleep. “Yeah? Want to go?”

His kiss already tastes like saltwater. “Yeah, come on.”

Getting out of the nest without rousing your packmates proves to be too much of a challenge. (And really you think Yoongi would have a heart attack if you tried to leave without at least telling him where you've gone. He might have forgiven you, but you know better than to poke at his wounds.)

Namjoon groans while Yoongi blinks away the darkness behind his eyes, a big hand closing around your wrists, stopping you when Hobi’s already off the bed. “Pups? Where are you-”

“Just to the beach Joonie,” Hobi ducks to press a kiss to Namjoon’s forehead the same moment you kiss Yoongi’s lips, puckering in sleep and making a soft sweet noise. Your mate smells so good- rolling waves of sweet chocolate- so good that it has you not wanting to leave at all. You linger, kissing Yoongi again when the temptation becomes too much.

He opens his eyes and grins at you. "Want company?"

“You don't have to, we’ll be careful! Promise.”

"Where you going?"

He blinks back his sleepiness but no sooner have you explained what you're doing than are Yoongi's arms going around your waist to pull you in. Sitting up too at the same time. Careful to keep his voice low to not wake the others.

“Let me come with,” Hobi is already grinning, hair sticking up in the back after he pulls a sweatshirt over his head. Namjoon shimmies to the end of the nest apparently coming too- only to knock into Seokjin because Namjoon is always sort of clumsy in the mornings and he always gets a bit tangled in the blankets you roll up to construct the edge of the nest.

Jin’s plush lips pout, eyes squinting in the darkness, “Guys? What’s-”

Then Jin trips over Jimin's legs and the alpha shoots up straight, jostling both Tae and Jungkook (folded under either arm) and everyone is awake and sharing plans.

You tug on warmer clothes because Jin fusses; fuzzy socks, and thick cable knit sweaters. Jin doesn’t bother to put his contacts in, black-rimmed glasses balancing on his nose. A thick scarf that he won’t really need teasing at his rosy cheeks.

together you guide a soft and sleepy Jk down the stairs. Scrubbing at his eyes all puppy cute while you’re morning zoomy. Barely pausing to kick off your bunny slippers. Jimin gets down to tie Tae’s laces so she doesn’t have to bend over so early in the morning.

By the time you get down to the ground floor of the house, the light is already turning the sky a lighter shade of blue. And Hoseok is pushing everyone out the door, sometimes physically, with cries of “Quick! Before we miss it!”

For once, you don’t take two cars. This time you pile all in Hobi’s red car (thankfully gotten back from the police with all but minimal scratches and a hefty fine that Namjoon had reluctantly paid). You sit on each other's laps, ducking your head whenever you see oncoming cars in case they might be cops. (You haven't learned your lesson quite yet, but there is time- you don't have to grow up quite yet).

Tae sits on Jimin’s lap. Hands wrapped around her middle, talking softly over the color of her nails (yellow with chrome, making them look almost buttery). Jungkook sits on Namjoon's lap (the alpha tucks his face into Jungkook’s hair, a little long, a little shaggy, intent on going back to sleep.) And you sit in the middle seat on Yoongi's (playing with your mate's hands, turning them over and over again in yours, until he squeezes them lacing them through.)

The pack omega gets princess treatment on account of having the longest legs. Feet Crossed daintily on the dashboard where it not for his thick slides. Hobi drives and fucks with the playlist. But he doesn't need one. Leaves it alone for once in favor of listening.

Yoongi laughs and you ask him why he is. "Don't take this the wrong way but your ass is so boney, my leg is going numb."

"See! I told you you should come with me to pilates!"

"I'm no princess-"

"No- that's me." Jin snorts from the front seat.

"Joonie that tickles."

It’s only a 15-minute drive on the windy backroads, not so unsafe. Not so necessary that you’ll think about taking two cars and separating your little bundle of love into two places. Headlights crest the hills of shrub roses and shrub oak trees, leggy and just beginning to leaf out.

How is it nearly spring already? When did winter pass? Yoongi’s arms never release your waist, he keeps you like that, close and safe until you skitter into the parking lot.

Jin leaves his red scarf in the car. It sits there in the backseat, a heap of red thread whining over and over again, giving warmth that’s no longer needed. A string of fate organized and neat.

The parking lot at the beach is empty at this time of year and at this time of day. There is no snow piled up in heaps, only remnants in the forms of shallow silver pools and puddles that you traipse through with little regard to the state of your socks. The ocean air is warm, unseasonably so. You’re a mess of tangled limbs and pajamas. Laughs and- “oh my god I have to pee-”

Yoongi loses one of his slides on the way out and Jungkook steals it from the pavement. Running off with it and leaving him to hobble on one foot, only to bring it back after a second. And you let Yoongi place his hand on your shoulder for balance while he slides his sock back into it. Worried about getting his socks wet. His hair ruffled and eyes crusty but the sun-

The sun is bright and hot against your cheeks, wind whipping picking up your hair as it crests the horizon. You run out to the edge of the ocean, your legs fighting to keep up with Jungkook who's faster than you now that he's fully awake.

Water soaks pajama hems and you tread a little too close to the shore. It's low tide and the sea is far out. Sea spoils dot the wet sand, joining the reflection of the sky up above and the stars winking out one by one as the sky lightens slow.

You’re the first one to lift your hands, to shout and run as fast as you can (which isn’t very fast at all, so it’s a good thing they give you a head start) but the others follow without much preamble. Giggling and rushing to get to the sea in time.

It’s warm- the wind coming off the sea is warm and damp and lovely. Spring is here, happiness is here- and it might never be going away again. Not if you can help it and not if you hold onto it. You have seven other people to help you hold on tight and never let go.

No matter how hard it gets- you’ll hold onto it. You promise. (Promise me okay?)

Jungkook catches up to you first in the warm sunny sand. He picks you up and twirls you round and round. Shaking you a little, the same way that Noodle might shake a toy. You giggle, high and melodic.

You only see it for a second, spinning round and round- but the rest of them Seokjin, Namjoon, Hoseok, Tae, Jimin, Yoongi- they all stop where they’re running and watch. You’re dizzy when Jungkook stops, his grin pressed to your shoulder, arms hard under your shoulders. Clinging to him still- not putting you down because you’re dizzy and he’s still lifting you up.

“Jungkook- oh my god put me down- I’m heavy Koo- ” You’re a little panicked, a little startled, but laughing all the while.

“Not really. I can still carry you.” He tosses you up and catches you- shrieking even though you don’t really leave his hands. Clinging to him, scared of the weightlessness before he sets you down where you teeter, unsteady, dizzy but still laughing.

Your hands stay around his shoulders, on your tippy toes, and he raises his eyebrow at you.

The others catch up and Jimin leans down to squeeze around your middle. Salt air tickles your forehead.“You’re like hardly a work out-“

Yoongi’s teeth worry away at his lower lip, “guys-“

Jimin shows you it’s not a big deal by heaving you up and over his shoulder. leaving you shrieking again.

“Minnie no!”

"Minnie yes"

Jungkook and Jimin take off and Hobi and Yoongi chase them down, you feel a bit like a chew toy but in the best way, in the way that makes your stomach light and crinkly from the giggles and laughter. You end up with your knees in the sand and Jungkook against your stomach. Hobi behind you, hands fighting Jungkook's. wrestling over you until none of you have anymore energy for it. All of you are covered in sand but you're laughing so hard you taste salt.

You end up sitting there, at the edge of the storm line, where the sand goes hard and crusty at your feet but light and fluffy by your hands. You watch the rest of the sunrise like that. The good part. The best part when the colors bleed across the blue horizon line all yellow and gold.

Namjoon holds out a hand for Jin to get down, a bit more dignified than your sprawling mess of pups. And the pack omega leans sideways against Yoongi’s shoulder. Complaining squeakily about the state of his knees.

You settle against the sand. The eight of you curled close to keep out the last bit of cold. Eyes burning as you watch the sunrise and can't tear your eyes away. Until the sky turns that unmatched shade of blue, the kind that is never quite replicated by nature. Not in roses or daisies or in the color of people’s eyes. Everything blue blue blue.

Your sweatshirt is one of Yoongi's, the same color. Tae’s nails are that purple-blue too as she holds Jimin’s hand in the sand. The same color as the tiny piece of sea glass that Hobi pulls from between his legs because he somehow always finds sea glass. The best at finding lost things.

His hand slides around your middle, pulling you to rest firmly against the hollow of his chest. And his other raises to show you the little fleck of sea glass. Balanced on his index finger.

"It's a lucky find," you say. Hoseok hums behind you. Agreeing. Warm.

Later, you look over at him in the bagel shop (because if you’re going to have an early morning outing then it might as well come with breakfast and coffee.) You sit together with Hobi, Waiting for your sandwiches and your lattes.

Namjoon, Yoongi, and Jin sit at one table and bicker over the merits of avocado toast. While Tae, Jimin, and Jungkook take over the other playing some game that involves flicking a quarter over each of their sides and playing footsie under the table too.

Although Namjoon and Jimin will get frustrated and tug all of the red and white metal tables together before long- No one has the mind for it yet. All of you are still sleepy and pupish and young in a way that you haven't been, haven't felt in such a long time.

Growing up can wait for a day more, growing up can always always wait.

(You haven't thought about it at all today- what Geumjae did to you. You haven’t thought about the hurts in your past at all today and you won’t, the day will pass and it won’t weigh on you, you won’t even notice. That’s the way healing goes- you hardly notice)

(Later there will be food and you won’t think about eating it at all. Hoseok will make your sandwich up just the way you like it and you won't even have to ask for it. You'll eat the same way you love, messy like children but with so much hope in it.)

At the bagel shop, You’ll reach over and wipe your thumb across his lips to get some cream cheese off and it will be the first breakfast of many you’ll spend with him. How lovely is it- to get to spend mornings with the people you love? How lovely it is to lose track of the days and hours and kisses. To not count first kisses anymore and only count more.

You and Hobi are quiet where you sit at the metal tables, it’s not an uncomfortable silence, unbroken by ego or arrogance or anything of the sort. He looks over and smiles at you.

And because he asks, “What are you thinking about?” You give him an honest answer.

“Being at the beach like that,” Your hands play with the piece of blue sea glass he got you, your pockets are full of them because you spent a few minutes once the sun was up walking until the others called you back. Hand in hand, stopping only to pick up more.

“With the sunrise and the sunlight all around us, It kinda felt like the world was giving me a really big hug, do you think that’s stupid?”

(Neither you nor Hobi is thinking about what was done to you. Not even a little bit, not even at all. I hope you never think about it either. I hope you get to have days where you don't remember. Where you forget what it was like to need to be strong. May the prey animal part of you that lingers in your body and remembers be turned soft and docile with age. May you forget what it's like to be hunted and afraid. I hope you forget him. The man who hurt you. I hope you forget what he looks like and the sound of his voice. I hope you forget it all.)

“I don’t think that’s stupid at all.”

He pulls his chair over to your side of the table and puts his chair right next to yours so that your thighs can touch. Even though it’s a public place and even though it’s probably not appropriate. He pecks your shoulder and squeezes around your waist extra tight, grinning. It’s an awkward sideways hug but he pulls you as close as he can until it forces a giggle from your stomach. His palms press flat against your stomach and his thumb rubs up and down. Slowly.

“In case you want one more, what’s another hug after all?”

~-~

Notes:

It's a sweet sort of irony, that this chapter is going to be posted when the people who live in the bily house are getting married <3 like what are the odds of that.

i think that this chapter is the real like- spot between the chapter chapters of bily and the epilogue! i think you can kind of feel it in the way that the chapter ends.

it's so like me to accidentally talk about tae's boobs for a few paragraphs i can't help it her tiddies are just so special to me. like 10/10, i saw a picture of dita von tess and just so you know...in my mind after tae gets a boob job- which she will- this is just me forshadowing it- thats the kinda tiddies she gets <3 cute lemon shaped ones!

the line about tae liking hyung more than oppa to use for the other members of the pack- is just kinda edgeing on an idea i've had for a while about my own gender thoughts- and thats that you can take what you like and what you don't like from each gender and make it what you want regardless of how you identify.

it's easy to forget that yoongi is also traumatized too you know? he needs so much hugs in this,

it always hits me how stylistically different i write the characters in bily- like this chapter i feel like i really got to develop yoongi's internal voice like- he's a very even cut of internal monologue, action, and sensation. different than the m/c who tends to be sensation first and then action, and jimin who is all bland sensation, and tae who has a very very strong internal monologue.

In many ways this chapter feels so like- stylistically light- like i think this entire series i've been trying to capture the feelings of found family- and you know-= this one gets alot of it right.

#bts x reader #bts mafia au #bts a/b/o #bts au #bts fluff #bts poly au #bts omegaverse au #bts polyamory au #bts #bts gang au

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tojjist · 11 months ago

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♯♯ birthday special - t. fushiguro

a/n: i didn't do anything for the holiday season bc i barely had time :( but i still wanted to do summ for his birthday soo.

warnings: like one cuss. completely fulff. not proof read! sunshine x grumpy

toji fushiguro hates you. toji fushiguro despises you for all you are; kind, loving, sweet, and damn perfect.

it’s almost insulting to him, really. the way you mock him with your soft little smile, patronizing him with your kindness.

he hated how complicated you are. he could never understand your motives. why would you treat him like that? knowing where he came from and what his past looked like. why do you stick around when he offers next to nothing? he couldn’t find any proof of an ulterior motive yet he couldn’t accept the simple reality of you actually wanting to be around him.

but toji hated one thing above all; how you make him feel. he doesn’t get the way his chest clouds and breath tightens whenever your skin comes in contact with his. his tongue goes paralyzed when you smile his way, eyes unmoving from your face when you scoff a small chuckle at whatever dumb shit he said. he can’t even remember what made you laugh but he gets this overwhelming urge to do it again.

he grows vulnerable, craving your touch when you’re not around. he’s soon hyper aware of his attachment to you. but toji is a smart man, and he knows he can’t do anything about the situation he found himself entangled in.

when he’s away, a single hour could feel like a whole eternity. and he can’t wait to be back home. home where you’re waiting. home where he belongs.

it doesn’t take long for him to grow accustomed to the physical proximity of you. the feel of you becomes a soothing balm, gently brushing away all his worries even if only temporarily.

toji fushiguro hates you. he hates how his heart skips a beat whenever his nose picks up on your sweet scent. he hates how the sound of your voice downright puts his entire world on pause, stopping to hear every little word that leaves your lips. from mumbles when you’re half-asleep to your little rants about your day or the new show you’ve been watching.

toji fushiguro hates how he’s capable of so little. he can’t give you the world. he can’t give you the dream life. he can’t give you a luxurious house. he can’t give you fancy dates or decent holiday getaways. heck, sometimes he can’t give you even time.

that’s why he makes sure to spend every minute he could with you, basking in the haven you created for him.

he tells himself he’s doing it all for himself. he says he needs a rest and just keeps you around because it’s easier than ‘looking for another girl’. toji tries to convince himself that it’s temporary, that you’re just willing to stick around and that he’d leave sooner than later. he says he’s selfish and doing it all for himself.

but it’s clear as day when his arms cling to you first thing in the morning, searching for your warmth despite the duvet he had pushed away. it’s obvious in the way he caresses your hair while you pretend to be asleep. occasionally he’d let his lips find the crown of your head, greeting your hair with soft kisses.

toji fushiguro hates you. he hates when you told him that you loved him, in his car on some tuesday night when he took you out for a ride late at night even though he needed to sleep.

toji fushiguro hates how your face lit up when he brought some flowers home with him,mumbling something along the lines of “the vase been empty for too fucking long”. but there was no vase. and he only realized when he got up at night to get some water, spotting the pretty flowers set in a plastic water jug.

toji fushiguro hates his new life. he hates how different he’s become. the hostile menace has become a quiet man, following behind you everywhere you go as if he were your personal gorilla. toji fushiguro hates how much life mattered now. toji fushiguro hates the responsibility he feels.

he says it’s restricting, suffocating even. he clicks his tongue in annoyance when he sees the time. it’s past dinner time and he needs to be home to not keep you waiting. he’s frustrated at himself when he finds you plopped on the couch, face peaceful while you presumably have fallen asleep as you awaited his return. he feels guilt gnawing at him when he sees the food you’ve made, having not eaten so he wouldn’t have dinner alone.

you’re too much for him. and while he’d felt like he owes you at some point, sick of your little favors and stupid sweet words, toji soon realizes this life is his. it was by choice that he let you into his life, slowly rearranging the blocks of his reality. you broke and rebuild, fixing a man who believed he was long beyond repair.

toji fushiguro hates you. toji fushiguro despises you for all you are, kind, loving, sweet, and painfully his.

somewhere along the way toji has accepted all that he feels. falling in love isn’t shameful. he’s become a fool but he thinks it’s worth it long as you’ve the one who’s molded him into this shape.

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undertheorangetree · 1 year ago

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Morning Rain

Summary- There is nothing better than staying in bed on a cold, rainy morning.

Warnings- MDNI 18+ NSFW. Female reader. Morning sex. Soft Aemond. Fluffy domesticity. Cockwarming. Porn without plot.

Author's Note- I miss cozy cold weather so now there’s this. It’s also an apology for the angst fic sorry for that one besties. This is v short and you can find it on ao3 link below

dividers created by firefly-graphics

She wakes to the sound of rain splattering against glass, loud enough to echo through the room. Lazily, she opens one eye to find the room still dark, no candles lit or sun shining through the curtains. She has half the mind to believe that it is still the middle of the night until she feels lips pressing against her shoulder, alerting her to the fact that she is not the only one awake. That much is unsurprising. She cannot think of a day where Aemond had woken up after her, always seeming to rise with the sun. She has never been so dedicated, but the fact that he is still in bed, chest pressed firmly against her spine and arms wrapped around her waist, is enough to tell her it is early even for his standards.

"Go back to sleep. You do not have to be awake for a few hours more," Aemond whispers in her ear, voice groggy and low with sleep.

"Nor do you," she says, earning a noncommittal hum in response.

In truth, she does not know what time it is and she cannot bring herself to care. The room is cold from the storm outside, making their bed far too enticing to even think of rising now and she cannot help but think Aemond feels the same. Any other morning, he would have pulled himself away from her by now, never lingering in bed too long or else risk falling back asleep, but he does not move now. Instead he presses himself closer to her back, continuing to kiss lazily at her neck. Slowly, he drags one knuckle along the plain of her stomach, back and forth and back again, from the curve beneath her belly button all the way to her sternum in a way that feels almost hypnotic.

Though she does not know if it is intentional or not, he has managed to force her nightgown to ride up. She had thrown it on haphazardly last night, only bothering with it because the air outside had grown cold with the promise of a storm and she was glad for it now, with their apartments as cold as they are this morning. Aemond had not been so thoughtful, simply curling into his pillow as naked as the day he was born, claiming to not want to bother with rising once more to pull on his sleep clothes. She had not minded then and she certainly does not mind now, as she can feel the swell of his cock already beginning to push against her ass.

She brings a hand back and grabs hold of his hip, scratching her nails against the skin there lightly and listening to him hum against her, his lips having made their way down to the back of her neck now. They have only been awake for a moment but already his need for her is more than apparent.

"You've only just woken up," she chides half heartedly when he presses against her a bit more insistently, hips rolling forward almost subconsciously. His free hand is curling around the plush of her upper thigh now, not to move but just to hold, fingers pressing into the inside softly. The other has splayed itself out across her ribs, thumb rubbing against the underside of her breast, hidden beneath the cotton of her nightgown.

Though she has scolded him, she is not entirely surprised. He likes to be close to her like this when they’re alone together, as if he is trying to find a way to mold himself against her, pressing close enough that they share every breath. He always runs so hot, skin burning warm as he wraps himself around her. With the shiver that is threatening to run up her spine and the bumps lining her arms, however, she does not mind it in the slightest. In fact she thinks she has begun to crave it.

Read the rest here

#Aemond Targaryen x reader #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen smut #aemond smut #aemond targaryen x you #aemond targaryen x fem!reader #aemond targaryen #hotd #hotd x reader #hotd smut #hotd fanfic #house of the dragon

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tteokdoroki · 2 years ago

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*ੈ🌩️‧₊˚— skeletons + sae itoshi.

૮˶ᵕ ༝ᵕ˶ა synopsis — sae doesn’t realise how much being away from home affects him, until he hears your voice again.

⭑ warnings — please read + mdni ! characters aged up to 20s, angst, hurt no comfort, long-distance, established relationship, mentions of mental health, pro player!sae, fem!reader - not beta read !

⭑ words — 2K.

⭑ notes — hi beautiful babies!! this is the first of a few fics i have queued for my week away. i wrote this a while ago and it’s based off of skeletons by keshi !! hope you like <3 - m.list ✩

in all honesty, sae itoshi doesn’t expect you to pick up. it’s way too late for you, just breaching the early house of the next morning in japan. there’s a seven hour difference between madrid and tokyo, sae knows because he’s looked it up a million times before anticipating a call or text from you. and right now, you’re probably sleeping, you’re supposed to have been sleeping.

but alas, your phone rings and you pick up on the third— voice groggy over the comforting crackle of static on the line. “h…hello?”

for a moment, the older itoshi brother listens to you and your natural ambience. he notes your deep breathing, still recovering from the depths of sleep, and the slight whines you let out with your yawns as you stretch your stiff muscles. maybe it’s weird, but sae misses all of your sounds, he misses waking up next to them— curling his arm around your waist on nights you’d snuck over to his childhood home just to see him.

“is anyone there?”

snapping out of it, sae clears his throat— fixing his voice as it sits hoarse in its base before he speaks. “it’s me, love.”

“sae!” shifting from the sheets tells sae that you’re more awake now— alerted by the symphony of his voice over the shitty landline. “shouldn’t you be asleep by now?”

“could say the same for you, it’s four am over there.” he knows that he’s wrong, you’re seven hours ahead and it’s only ten pm for him — meaning it’ll be closer to five am where you are and sae itoshi is never wrong. he was born with impressive gut instinct and a quick mind but this time he’s wrong on purpose. he makes a mistake because he wants to stall for time, keep you talking a little longer and hear your voice for a few minutes more…because maybe that’ll keep the demons away.

keep his head floating above the water he seems to have fallen in.

sae is drowning in his dreams, and if he reaches out he can’t touch them— to him, the greatest of all time…they’re unattainable.

“five actually, and my alarm is meant to go off soon. i thought you were it and then i saw your contact…” you manage to say through a yawn, rubbing your eye’s unbeknownst to your boyfriend since he’s halfway across the globe. if he could see, if he was there—he’d probably call you cute, wipe your eyes for you and force you back down to sleep. but he’s not here and he can’t see because there’s a distance between you that can only be fixed by grainy face times on your cells.

“i wanted to call.” the midfielder clarifies, cutting you off sharply but his words coat the inside of his mouth like cotton, as if they’re hard to say — melting over the line like rice paper on his tongue.

“okay,” breathing slow, you hug your knees to your chest and let your silence tangle with the crackling static. “you don’t usually call first.”

“i needed to hear your voice.”

“i’m here. i miss you. do you want to switch to facetime?” sae has half a mind to tell you no. if you switch now, you’d worry— you’d see how hollow he’s become, how sleep deprivation eats at the pink tinge to his flesh and clings to the undersides of his dulling aquamarine eyes. you might think that he’s dying and perhaps he is. the pro player feels like he is. every day is harder, his bones feel heavier and his muscles weaker — he needs medicine. he needs you.

you’re the only drug sae would ever inject into his veins— your smile, your laugh, your heart. they make him better, make him feel alive. so he relents, “gimme a sec, i’ll call you.” he grunts and taps the button to video-call, waiting for you to pick up again.

“there you are, handsome. tell me about your day.” blue light from the early morning filters over your skin— the footage of the FaceTime call is grainy, probably because it’s still a little bit dark outside for you but you’re beautiful. to sae you’ve always been beautiful.

the elder itoshi brother makes a small effort to smile at your compliment, the expression blooming on his cheeks which you mirror, happy to see him — he misses you too. “i don’t wanna talk about it. you do the talking. i just want to listen to you.”

“alright well… i worked today— yesterday. sorry! timezones,” you miss the way sae winces at the mention of your time difference, the invisible divide between you both, as you settle back into your bed to admire him. “my shift sort of sucked, you know how it goes.” your boyfriend listens to you intently, makes faces at the complaints you make about customers, clients and coworkers alike.

sometimes, the midfielder doesn’t understand you how you devote your life’s work, your beauty and intelligence to an industry that chews you up, spits you out like dirt and drives you to the edge of falling to pieces. sae doesn’t doubt you, he knows that you’re talented and wishes you saw the same value in yourself that he did.

you deserve better. so much better.

perhaps he’s the same as you, working for someone else until he breaks and he’s better than everyone else— all in the name of becoming the best in the world.

“you hate your job. quit. i earn enough money to take care of you.”

“and you hate yours. but you won’t come home where i can take care of you.”

sae rolls his eyes at your quip because of how easy it is for you to read him despite the way he hides his emotions behind a clay mask. he’s always been like that, but he feels the need to tuck away the uglier parts from him even more of late— even if you’ve seen it all before. the late nights where he’s feeling sad and goes to bed, sae wakes up feeling even worse. especially without you but even now with your face on a screen, beaming at him the same way you have all your life— he doesn’t feel any better.

you’re meant to be his solace.

quickly changing the subject, sae nods his head as if to push you in a different conversational direction. “tell me about what you did after work.”

you hesitate, peering into his ocean eyes for a split second. “i went to see rin at blue lock. he’s…he’s doing really well, you know. you should come see him sometime. you’d be proud of how far he’s come since we were little.”

it’s not that he doesn’t care about his younger brother, but the relationship between rin and sae itoshi is probably long past any attempts at repair. you’ve been stuck in the middle for as long as you’ve known them— pulling them close despite the boys repelling each other like polar magnets.

you were the glue when they were kids, keeping the three of you together and to this day you still tried to manage the gap between the two brothers, despite their disputes. their differences.“can we please not talk about that half-ass piece of—“ you glare over the phone from across the globe and sae silences himself, pursing his lips to avoid scrutiny from the love of his life. you.

“you know, you never told me what happened when you first came home from Spain.” you blurt after a moment's quiet. “but i think i’ve always sorta known.”

“yeah?” the magenta haired midfielder challenges, brushing a hand over his tired face.

“yeah…” nodding subtly, you shift and roll onto your side— a solemn expression dancing across your features. “you changed. you hurt him, sae, real bad. rin changed too.” you say hoarsely, as if the words you’ve uttered burn at the insides of your throat like bitter liquor. “you’ve not shown that same fate to me, you know better than to lash out at me. but you’re different. you don’t smile anymore. not with your eyes like you used to — i miss that.” i miss you. is what you really want to say. not just physically, but emotionally. you want your boyfriend back, not the empty shell of skin and bones you have now.

even sae picks up on the hidden meaning behind your words— he doesn’t smile at you like he used to.

for once the eldest itoshi decides to be honest with you. he thinks to tell you how stressed out he is, how he’s scared his plan for this soccer thing might not even work out. he decides to be honest in words that he knows best and not all the details because he doesn’t want you to break over him.

“talk to me, itoshi.” you cut through his thoughts like a knife through butter.

“i’m afraid of myself, and i hate it.”

“then come home, sae.” it’s a nice offer, a tempting bribe. to be home with you when sae knows that would be the closest thing to giving up. he knew you wouldn’t get it. you wouldn’t understand how much soccer meant to him but you can’t be blamed for that. the thing you love most in the world isn’t your career— it’s him. “come home and be with me.”

your wish would be as selfish as his — you don’t want him to give up soccer for you and he doesn’t want to leave soccer to feel better with you like he knows he would.

“i need to make it to the end of the season — i have to.”

“sae, you’re tired. you look like a ghost.”

“i don’t even know if i’m going to make it.” he snaps, desperate and pleading with you not to make this more difficult than it already is. “but if i don’t try. then all of this will be for nothing. my goals have changed, but i worked hard for this and i will get what i want.” he spits out as if there’s acid on his tongue, burning through the little solace of love you’ve tried to wrap him up in. sae runs a hand through his silken locks, sighing as he briefly looks away from your crumpled face on the screen. “so stop asking me to come home for you because i won’t. it’s not worth it. you’re not worth it.”

you gasp, tears flooding your eyes. you know he doesn’t mean it, or maybe he does — it’s been difficult to read sae recently, he’s slipping from your grasp like sand between your fingers and you just have to let him. another beat of silence echoes between you both — but neither of you make the effort to speak. sae doesn’t correct himself and you don’t force your hand to make him apologise.

you care enough for him not to make him fight— to make sae choose his own battles. you’d never ask him to pick soccer over you, because you know what his answer would be regardless… but that doesn’t mean it hurts you any less to watch him destroy himself for it and to lose the boy you grew up loving to a sport you may never understand.

though, that doesn’t stop you from lashing out and bearing your own fangs either — if he was going to throw salt in your wounds, you could do that too.

“i have to go, itoshi. get some rest, you look like shit, but you that’s what you want, right? it’s worth it to you.”

you hang up before he can say a word and sae can’t bring himself to message and apologise. because he knows that you’re right, you’re telling him to pick soccer because he can’t make that choice for himself.

sae itoshi is a pro player now. he’s gotten what he’s always wanted — he’s achieving his dreams as the corpse of the man he once was. the one who loved you proper.

but that doesn’t matter anymore, whatever his team wants out of him they get.

since his skeleton’s out for the taking.

#blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #itoshi sae x reader #itoshi sae x you #itoshi sae angst #itoshi sae imagines #sae itoshi x reader #sae itoshi x you #sae itoshi imagines #sae itoshi angst #blue lock x you #bllk x you #bllk angst #blue lock angst #blue lock imagines #bllk imagines #✧ ₊˚੭ — writing #tteokdoroki

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a-small-writer-in-a-big-world · 2 years ago

Text

I Missed You, I'm Sorry

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x f!reader

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, blood (i promise the fluff will come back)

Words: 5.1k

Synopsis: Simon comes home…

Link to The Roommate Series Masterlist

You are currently reading part 5 of The Roommate Series

Light rain tapped against the window in your room. Usually the soft sounds would leave you in a comfortable state where you could fall asleep easily, drifting into a safe place that left you feeling rested, something you hadn’t felt in a while. Your body needed that type of sleep; you had been deprived of it for a little over a month, unable to stay fully asleep for more than a few hours at night because you kept yourself awake with endless thoughts about Simon.

Simon had called you. For the first time since knowing him, he had called you while he was away at work.

You honestly didn’t believe it at first, you thought that maybe it had been a crazy vivid dream you had about finally being able to hear him after he had been gone for two and half months, but it was real. You had been on the phone with him, curbing your curiosity about where he was and what he was doing by letting him take control of the conversation when you desperately wanted to know the answers.

You wanted to know if he was okay or maybe that the reason he had called you was because he was coming home, but he didn’t give you the chance to. You told yourself that you wouldn’t have gotten any answers out of him anyway but that didn’t stop you from wondering.

At least now you knew that he could contact you if he wanted to.

Before you thought that the burner phone had just been a precaution, a security blanket to make you feel better and to show you that if there really was an emergency then maybe he would pick up, but now you knew that it was a real tangible way to communicate with him.

The burner phone laid in the palm of your hand and weighed it down against your mattress. You stared at it, occasionally lifting it up and turning it on to look at the two contacts in the phone. One was for Simon and one was for someone named ‘Laswell’, who he had told you to call if there was an emergency and he couldn’t be reached.

He had called you a month ago and since then it had been radio silence. He didn’t make an attempt to call you again and yet you couldn’t help but check the recent calls list on the phone every few hours in hopes that maybe he had tried, but the only thing listed was that one phone call.

You wanted to call him back, you longed to hear his voice again, especially after he had broken his usual silence when he was away but you couldn’t bring yourself to hit the call button. Every time you picked up the phone you stared at his number with your finger hovering over the button while your stomach churned as if you’d throw up. As much as you wanted to call him, you couldn’t make yourself cross the boundary that he had set up.

Simon told you to call him for emergencies. Wanting to hear him wasn’t an emergency and even though he had made a regular phone call for you, you weren’t sure if he would be upset if you tried to do the same.

A sigh left your nose and you dropped the phone to your mattress. You stared up at your ceiling as a heavy weight settled over your chest and you fought against the tightening in your throat.

All of the times he had left before hadn’t been as rough as this now and you wondered if maybe it was because you hadn’t fully let yourself feel the loneliness or the sorrow that came when he left.

Before you had been just a friend to Simon, someone who was more than a roommate, someone who he enjoyed spending time with and who he liked to live with. You had mostly kept to that title, doing things as a friend would do with him, though occasionally would accidentally let your feelings get the best of you and blur the lines of friendship or something more than that. You tried your hardest to keep it under control and for the most part you did a good job.

Then he kissed you.

Simon Riley kissed you like the world had been ending, like he had just declared his undying love for you, which shattered your perception of what your relationship with him was now.

You hadn’t been sure if it had been a heat of the moment kiss, much like how it had been on his birthday, which is why when he called you had asked why he kissed you. You expected him to say something along the lines of an apology, like he had accidentally let his emotions take control to kiss you and that he hadn’t meant for it to happen.

“I wanted to kiss you so I kissed you.”

His words replayed in your mind and you tried not to get emotional from it.

He had made it sound simple, like the act of kissing you had been something that came easy to him and that it seemed obvious as to why he had done. He didn’t have to tell you the reason why he wanted to kiss you, the way he had done had been enough, but being told that he had thought about it made you feel everything you had pushed away.

You finally let yourself feel the aching desire to keep him home, to cry for him as he left you when all you wanted was to be held in his arms. All you wanted was for him to lay beside you in bed and tell you horrible jokes that made you laugh, to love you like he didn’t have to worry about tomorrow.

The pain of watching him leave was so much that it felt like you were mourning the loss of a lover, that you were struck with grief that wouldn’t go away, especially since you didn’t know where he was or what he was doing.

The heavy weight got worse and you struggled to breathe as your vision went blurry. You fought back the tears, feeling a headache already forming in the back of your head from the countless nights of crying after the phone call and from sleep deprivation.

You had been good about not crying since he had left that night, allowing yourself that one good cry before you declared that had been enough. Crying wouldn’t bring him back and though it felt good in the moment, there was no point in doing it.

Then he had called you and told you that he had missed you too.

After that, it was easy for the waterworks to start.

You took a deep breath and wiped them away before they could fall. You rolled onto your side and clutched the phone to your chest as if it would give you comfort when really it was nothing more than a useless tool.

You wanted him back. You felt selfish for wanting him to come home when he clearly respected his job and seemed to like it, but it was hard to feel anything else when he was away from you for so long. Months away was too much for you and you wondered if he felt the same.

You took a deep breath, trying to minimize the extreme feeling for the moment as exhaustion weighed heavy all over your body. It would be sunrise soon and you were sure that you wouldn’t get much more than a few hours of sleep if you went to bed now, but luckily you didn’t have to be anywhere in the morning. You didn’t really feel like going anywhere as of late, though your friends didn’t let you stay cooped up in your apartment which you were thankful for or else you would think about Simon all day.

What was he doing right now? Was he safe? Where was he? Was he off in another country; is that what he did when he was away? Did he travel all the time? What was he doing?

The thoughts replayed in your mind like a broken record, continuously repeating themselves whenever you had time to yourself. You couldn’t help your curiosity as much as you wanted to but like always you would never act on them.

What good would it do to ask him after he had told you not too? You knew Simon was too stubborn to say anything and this was one thing he wouldn’t change his mind on, even for you.

You sunk into the mattress, hoping that all of the tension would leave your body as you tried to stop your thoughts. You wouldn’t be able to get any rest if you kept thinking and at this point you were going in circles, doing nothing but harming yourself.

You shut your eyes and just as you were about to drift into sleep, there was a loud crash in the living room. Your heart began to race and you propped yourself up on your mattress, your brain foggy from being half asleep. At first you thought that maybe it had been thunder since it was still raining outside.

The front door slammed and your eyes widened. You didn’t even think as you hopped off your bed and raced towards the living room, hoping that this was real and that Simon had come back home. All sleep had left you, there was no chance that you would go back to bed now, even if Simon would tell you to.

“Simon-” You turned on a lamp with a relieved smile that immediately fell from your face when you saw him.

Simon stood hunched over against the front door chest heaving up and down as if he couldn’t breathe. His head hung low as water dripped off his nose onto the floor, running the black paint around his eyes down his cheeks as he struggled to stand up straight without letting out strained winces.

One hand clutched onto a mask that had a skull plate sewn into it, stained with dirt and what you hoped wasn’t dried blood, while another pressed into his side over the jacket he was wearing.

He cursed under his breath, seemingly unaware you were there even after you called out to him, and brought his gloved hand away from his side to look down at it.

Your eyes widened and your stomach dropped when you saw the large red stain on his jacket. Your heart was in your ears and you couldn’t move for a second as you realized that if the jacket had turned a different color then it had to be a major wound.

“Oh god,” You couldn't help the tears that blurred your vision as you rushed up to him.

Simon looked up at you startled with hazy eyes. Your name fell out of his mouth like a prayer, soft and pleading as if he hadn’t expected you to be in the apartment, or maybe it was because he hadn’t fully realized where he was. He stumbled trying to meet you halfway but fell back against the door with a grimace and instead outstretched a hand to you.

You gripped his arm and tried to steady him, your stomach churning when you saw the bruises on his face along with the matted blood in his hair. Your fingers dug into his sleeve as you struggled to speak.

His eyes softened significantly as you held him up, acting as if he wasn’t bleeding out in front of you and instead had come home like normal. He leaned closer to you, almost as if he were about to hug you and he wrapped an arm around you to keep you close to him. He watched you try to get your shoes on without letting go of him and stumbled closer to you.

“We need to go to the hospital.” You were shaking as you glanced at the growing stain on his jacket before looking away.

“M’okay.” He slurred and you shook your head in disbelief.

“How can you say that?”

Simon didn’t budge as you tried to move him away from the door so you could open it. He somehow had enough strength left to keep himself firmly planted and held you in a tight grip as if you’d disappear. His eyes never once left you as you struggled against him and your name fell from his lips again, as if he really couldn’t believe that you were in front of him.

You sniffled, unable to keep a few tears from falling as you struggled in his grasp. You couldn’t reach your shoes or the keys to your car, which made you give out a frustrated groan before you pushed against his chest to get him off of you.

You didn’t want to push him off but you had to. You had to get him to the hospital, you refused to continue to be in pain.

“Simon, stop!” You demanded as you frantically tried to get out of his hold but he was too strong, even injured. “Let go, I have to get you to the hospital.”

He stubbornly shook his head and yanked you back into him. He wrapped an arm around your waist and nearly smushed you against his chest while you fought him. He was shaking but held an iron grip around you as he placed a gloved hand on your cheek and tried to get you to look at him.

“Please-”

“Stop-”

“Please, I need to see you.”

You stopped fighting against him despite everything in your body telling you that you had to force this stubborn man to get help. You stared up at him and your heart broke at the sight of his tired eyes frantically bouncing around your face.

He looked exhausted and you could see cold sweat on his forehead mixed with the rain. His brown eyes were more pronounced because of the paint and you could see that mixed in with his normal intensity was underlying pain he was trying to push away.

It struck you in your chest and made it hard for you to look away as he stared at you as if this was the last time he would be able to do so. You could practically see the heartbreak in the void that was his eyes as he let out a shaky breath. He went misty eyed and you prepared yourself for him to cry but nothing fell from his eyes as he stroked your face with his thumb, unsure if it was for your benefit or for his.

You felt your blood run cold as you came to the horrifying realization that he had most likely been on the verge of death before he had come back. You felt nauseous at the thought that he might’ve died and you wanted nothing more than to force him to go to the hospital but you knew he wouldn’t budge.

Simon wiped a few stray tears that fell from your eyes with his gloved thumb. He held your face so gently despite the fact that he was pushing you against him as if your weight was the only thing keeping him steady, which was not far from the truth.

You swallowed hard and let out a shaky breath, unable to look away from him as you placed a hand on his chest.

“Let me take care of you.” You begged, your voice wavering as you fought against the tightness in your throat.

Simon sighed and for a moment you thought that he would protest your pleas to help him, but instead he leaned his forehead against yours. His eyes fluttered shut and he attempted to take a deep breath that was more of a wheeze, and wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

You didn’t hesitate to wrap your arm around him, as best as you could with a man as large as him, and walked him towards the couch. You tried your hardest to take some of his weight as he stumbled beside you, but he refused to put much of it on you even as you lowered him to the couch.

He clenched his jaw tight as he sunk into the couch and he let out a strained grunt. Here you could really see that most of the color had drained from his face despite the bruises and it made you nauseous. He almost looked like a ghost and half dead, especially as he looked up at you with heavy lidded eyes.

“I’ll be back.” You promised as you stepped back, letting his hand slide down your arm before you ran towards the bathroom.

You rushed around the apartment. You were frantic as you grabbed a handful of towels with hot water and soap. You grabbed the medkit hidden underneath your sink, extremely grateful that Simon had decided to keep one in the house, and ran back to him.

You didn’t waste any time to set the items down haphazardly once you made it back into the living room and took a seat next to Simon. You wanted to give him a reassuring smile when he placed a hand on your arm but you were too busy putting everything together to even spare him a glance.

When everything had been set out, you grabbed his jacket and unzipped it. You kept your eyes planted firmly on his chest and avoided looking down at where he was bleeding out as he shrugged off his jacket with heavy breaths.

You froze for a second when you saw how much blood was stained into his shirt. There was the obvious new stain that continued to grow but there was also a bigger circle of dried blood underneath it that made it hard to swallow.

You looked at Simon and he stared back, his eyes slightly unfocused but never leaving yours as you hesitantly grabbed the hem of his shirt.

Both of you carefully lifted it off of him. You clenched your jaw when his eye twitched and he left out more huffs before you threw the shirt on the ground, breathing so hard as if the simple action had winded him.

You finally looked at his toros and you felt queasy at the sight while your eyesight went blurry.

Simon’s entire torso was covered in red and purple bruises in places that looked deadly. Blood was smeared across his skin from the wound on his side which made your stomach churn as you stared at the stitches that had been ripped open. There was some relief, knowing that he wouldn’t bleed to death since part of the massive wound had been closed shut, but it wasn’t enough as more blood seeped out of the newly opened part.

A stab wound. He had been stabbed.

“I’ll stop it.” You grabbed a towel and dipped it in the warm water with soap. “You’ll be okay.”

You cleaned up his wound and the surrounding area as gently as you could but even if barely touched him, it wouldn’t stop the pain that Simon felt. You clenched your jaw when he stiffened and swallowed hard when he struggled to keep the winces under control.

“You ripped your stitches.” You pointed out and he swallowed thickly.

“Didn’t mean to.” He said and you sent him a worried look.

It was clear that he had been somewhere before, a place that clearly had the right resources to help him and yet he had come home. If it weren’t for the fact that he was actively bleeding, you would be ripping him a new for ignoring his pain to come back.

You shook your head again, glancing up at him with a hard stare as he blinked slowly at you.

“You need to go-”

“No.” Simon cut you off and squeezed his eyes shut when you held the towel against his wound. “I’ll fix it later…just want to be with you.”

The sentiment made you want to cry but you fought against the tears, pushing back the false images of him bleeding to death wherever he had been, and focused on trying to help him instead. You couldn’t think about that because even though you were touching his unnaturally cold skin as you patched him up, he was still here breathing and speaking to you.

He wasn’t dead. He was alive.

Fix it? Your eyebrows knitted together as you pressed gauze against his skin, apologizing when he flinched, and began to wrap his wound in hopes it would stop the bleeding.

You had never known Simon to be someone who knew how to suture wounds. In all of the time, he had never done it and you were sure that he hadn’t gone to any school to learn how to do it. You were about to ask him what he meant by that, your eyes traveling up to him when you saw it.

Hanging off of Simon’s neck and resting against his heaving chest were dog tags.

Military.

You wanted to be surprised but thinking about it, it made more sense to you than anything else you could come up with, and you honestly felt stupid for trying to pretend he would be anything else.

Before you could even have a thought about it, Simon grabbed you by the arm and pulled you into his lap with a firm grip, causing you to gasp quietly. He was lucky that you had just finished dressing the wound, but it didn’t stop you from giving him a quick look as he moved an arm around your waist.

His eyes were narrowed from the pain and yet he looked at you as if you were salvation itself. Even as he pressed you against him, he still had the gentleness he always reserved for you, even in pain he never lashed out at you, just begged to look and touch you as if that would be what would take his pain away.

You instinctively took his face into your hands and he let out a soft sigh, letting his eyes flutter shut as he leaned into your touch.

You studied his face or what you could make out beneath the smudged black paint that covered the area around his eyes, the black streaking down his face from the rain and mixing with the blood from the wound on his head. You tried to wipe it away to reveal him to you, but it was stuck onto his skin.

The sight of him hanging his head low in your hands, knowing that he most likely was on the verge of passing out, had you crying all over again. He had never looked this small before, even when he would be embarrassed, and it made you wonder how many times he had been in this state alone.

How many times had he sat alone in pain, bleeding out on the verge of death? How many times had he struggled to breathe and how many times had he run back home to see you one last time unbeknownst to you?

“Simon…” You cried just barely above a whisper and his eyes shot open.

“Please…don’t cry.” He moved to wipe your tears away but you shook your head.

“You’re hurt!”

Simon tried to hug you but you somehow slipped out of his grasp and picked up another towel. He watched with regret as you dipped it into the soapy water and pulled off his gloves, reaching out to you as you stood in front of him again. He pulled you back onto his lap, his bare hands now caressing your skin and bringing along goosebumps as he drew circles into your arms.

You pressed the towel against his head and when he flinched you placed a gentle hand on the nape of his neck. You hiccupped, trying your hardest to work through your blurry vision as you carefully cleaned his head wound while he suppressed winces.

You cradled him as the blood disappeared from his skin. You were able to get most of it out of his hair, though the red had stained his blond locks but you were more relieved to see that the wound hadn’t been as big as you feared.

You moved on to cleaning the black paint off with a sniffle but no words, growing increasingly desperate to see his face. You wanted to peel the military off of him, to get rid of the hardness that came from it because it had hurt Simon, it had nearly killed him and you wanted nothing to do with it.

All you wanted right now was Simon.

Simon continued to draw circles into your skin as he shut his eyes and let you do as you pleased. He didn’t say anything, only let out soft sighs as your delicate finger brushed across his bruised face. If it were possible, you would’ve taken the pain away with just a simple touch.

Most of the paint came off, save for the few spots in the corners of his eyes and the places in his skin that stubbornly wouldn’t let go except if he washed his face, but now you could finally see him.

You held his face, finding immense relief that he was back, that he no longer had to bear the physical reminders of his job, at least for this moment and you finally were able to take control of your emotions.

Simon looked at you and you finally could see the normal intensity mixed with defeat and regret in his eyes. He pressed you against him, planting you firmly on his lap and gripping your hips desperately to keep you from moving off of him. The look in his eyes said everything that wouldn’t come out of his mouth; the desire to keep you with him, the want, the need to have you there with him so he wasn’t alone evident on his face and you were determined to let him know you weren’t planning on doing that.

You leaned forward and pressed your lips against his as softly as you could.

Simon kissed you back rougher than you had anticipated but you didn’t mind. He deepened the kiss and held the back of your head as he sighed heavily into it. He moved his mouth against your desperately, much like how your first kiss went, and tried to consume the air in your lungs.

The kiss was tender, you could feel the way his lips quivered against your own as if he were holding back tears. The months apart from each other finally came to an end and he kissed you like he couldn’t believe you were there, like he was testing to make sure you were in front of him even after you had patched him up.

He slipped his tongue into your mouth, the taste of hot copper entered your mouth but you couldn’t find it in your heart to care as you kissed him back just as fervently.

You’re safe, you told him through the kiss, you’re home.

Simon broke the kiss and left you both breathless. His warm breath spread across your face as you held him, his forehead pressed against yours as you both basked in the other’s grounding touch.

“You need medicine.” You suggested but he grunted.

“Won’t help.” He opened his eyes when you gave a disapproving hum. “I’m fine.”

You wanted to argue, to use the last of the energy you had to force him to take the meds but he stopped you by placing another kiss onto your lips. This time it was chaste, a silent way to calm both of your nerves before he hid his face in the crook of your neck.

“Stay with me.”

A whisper, plea in a wavering voice that stopped you from even thinking about leaving his side. He sounded weak and though you couldn’t see his face, you could hear him tearing up, especially as he swallowed hard to get rid of the tightness in his throat.

You nodded without a second thought, wanting nothing more than to be stuck beside him also as you now found yourself melting into his familiar touch again. You longed to be in it forever, to feel his skin against yours as you leaned some of your body weight against him.

“Let’s go to bed.” You muttered softly and he nodded.

The added adrenaline and emotions that had hit you like a truck had forced more exhaustion on your already tired mind, begging you to go to sleep now that Simon was with you. You wanted nothing more than to lay in bed next to him and finally feel his presence after being gone for so long.

You slid off of his lap and grabbed his hands, squeezing his fingers after he had squeezed yours, before you helped him off the couch. You wrapped an arm around his torso when he stumbled forward and carefully led him to his room around the mess that you had made.

You didn’t care. You could clean it up in the morning.

Simon’s room had been left untouched in the last three months. His bed was perfectly made and everything had been put away. The only time his room had ever seen something living was when you would go inside and stand in the middle of the room in an attempt to feel him in some way but it never worked. His room was just an empty space without him, devoid of any kind of life since he kept it to the bare essentials.

Now you didn’t have to rely on the shell of a room to fulfill the emptiness in your chest. Now Simon was home and you hoped that he would stay longer than three days this time.

You led him to his bed and watched as he let out a long sigh when he sunk down into the mattress.

Simon grabbed your wrist and tugged you into his bed. He didn’t wait to wrap his arms around your waist and hold onto you in an almost bone crushing hug while you pulled the blankets over top of you both. He intertwined his legs with yours, practically pinning you down before he hid his face in your neck without a word.

You threaded your fingers through his damp hair and massaged his scalp as you settled in beside him. You listened to his breathing and kept a steady rhythm in the way you played with his hair to calm him down.

He squeezed you before his breathing went steady and soon after, his hold on you loosened as exhaustion took over and he passed out.

The very early morning light peeked through the curtains on his window. Your eyes fluttered shut soon after he had stopped moving and you were consumed by the feeling of him all around you, the safety that he brought even when he was injured and fell asleep almost instantly.

Link to part 6

A/N: Told you he’s not dead! He’s way too stubborn for that. Anyway, what a goofy guy who literally gets stabbed and instead of getting help like a normal person he decides to book it back home because he misses you

(This was the best I could give even tho I don't like it that much :/)

The tag list is closed!! I am so happy that so many of you want to be tagged for this story but I will not be accepting anymore requests to tag people in this series since this list has gotten long and it's hard to keep track of how many I have to add! Sorry for the inconvenience!

Taglist: @kat-nee @alexwashere82 @suicidal-marshmallow @shuttlelauncher81 @poohkie90 @reiya-djarin @k4marina @mionacaped @igotmajordaddyissues @xxghostyx @pasta-m1lk @imstargazing @c00kied0ugh44 @quesowakanda @jacksonpleasestopkillingme @kgive @konig-is-bbygrl @otaku8 @lialacleaf @frazie99 @gremlin-ghuleh @spencerreidisbae123 @alastorhazbin @writingmysanity @lillianastuff @alastorhazbin @reid490 @projectdreamwalker @backupgal @wobblywolf @lockleywife @sheepsel @dead-noodles @vellicora @marshmallowtraver @sinclairbrosbathmat @argella1300 @sofasoap @crazyfandomist @iwmtfm @oiiviagrande @leOthelyOn @genesis13 @revyjerry @guttabutta00 @greenkiki

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x you #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #ghost x you #ghost x reader #ghost x y/n #simon ghost riley #mw2 ghost #ghost mw2 #cod ghost #the roommate series

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