#i need to do more with his bridge verse because of his whole 'i'm allowed to settle into my new body' shtick

[trollamulet]

yes — canon states that jim's blood post-transformation into mostly-troll is still human red, but it's not untouched by the petrification much of his body underwent through the trauma of the transformation. at first glance this body's blood is red, but if you dab it on a white / lighter surface or just. closely, there's a distinct blue tinge to it.

it's definitely a bright blue when jim is fully troll, though trolls don't have a lot of blood, nor are they that used to bleeding. it's much easier to cauterize troll skin.

[pre1ude]

@comicbookcreature , sent 👫 for four headcanons about our muses' relationship.

i'm gonna do this for LBM/main verse. they're just.. on my mind <33 and at this point i'll be putting a read more on these hc posts... They get long.

1.

To start off with, combine the fact that we haven't figured out a solid meeting point for these two with my general penchant for dramatics. Consider: they try to off each other first thing. Danny's out and about around the unfortunate time Mr Big Bad Bat prowls around for a snack, and push happens to come to shove. There's something about our leather-bound posturing biker that sets Daniel's tongue on edge and his snub stings a bit too much for Michael to turn a deaf ear. One thing, then another, then the human sonar and vampire at at each other's throats. For no good reason other than 1. I just think it fits this dynamic of theirs wonderfully. 2. Daniel can canonically use his sonomancy to defibrillate someone to death, but with sound vibrations rather than electric pulses, and I'd love to see his face when that backfires because Michael does not have a working heart for him to squish. It's just.. thematic and also my favourite type of neat, tropey interaction that very quickly clues them in that they've both simultaneously fucked with the wrong guy. And no, it may not kill Mikey, but a sonic gut punch probably hurts a lot, even if you're already dead.

2.

Suffice to say it's ardent dislike at first sight. But this whole verse is the story of how Dan meets a vampire in possibly the only verse we have where he's unaware they exist. So colour him fascinated. And horribly affronted at the idea of almost becoming something as plebeian as 'a snack' to the creature. He keeps his click-clacky metal lighter handy and an eye on Michael at all times, but he ventures to explore the mysteries of the supernatural regardless, precautions at the ready. Turns out not all vampires are from the 1800s and Mikey's less of a Bela Lugosi and more of a Marlon Brando (be still his beating heart). Maybe Dan likes the motorbike. He'll never admit it and he only gets on once out of sheer necessity. Those things are dangerous and he is neither immortal nor stupid. And don't call him 'babe' unless you're cruising for a disembodied smack over the head.

3.

It takes a whole long while for them to warm up beyond snipping at each other's heels with varying levels of severity (and vitriol in Danny's case, no he doesn't catch on to Michael's flirting at all, good luck buddy). Dan can never let a jab go and oddly enough I think that helps a whole lot to push first them forward and toward communication. He asks questions, he holds Michael accountable, he doesn't turn a blind eye and most importantly he isn't afraid. He can unflinchingly match Mikey's snarling and hold his own and you bet he doesn't let the vampire walk out of a fight; sure, there's probably a certain comfort and luxury in negligent hedonism, and Daniel imagines it would be blissfully preferable to facing his own problems, but he doesn't indulge in it and refuses to let Michael do it either. Not in his presence. The city they live in is in shambles at the time and, damn it, Danny isn't sitting idle about it, so neither is Michael. It's a mostly thankless venture, but at least no progress goes unrewarded between them. Daniel's default is sweet and gentle, which is what he is when Mikey allows him to be. I can imagine quiet talks by a crackling bonfire on a calm night, indoor voices outside. A standstill in all the havoc. If trusting each other in a pinch or coming to one another's aid builds the bridge between them, then I like to think little moments of conversation between the humans behind the sonar and the vampire would be the very founding pillars. They are opposites, but they do have points of similarity at their fundamental core and that's the very human need to belong. Michael thinks that's best achieved with rampant chaos and Danny - with frigid order, together they achieve a good, solid balance. (Because yes, Danny does in fact learn to have a little bit of fun. He will begrudge Mikey the fact. One day.)

4.

In the end, Daniel likes the relationship they have. Self-indulgently, he likes having the affections of a man who doesn't give them easily, to just about anyone. He likes a puzzle and a mystery and he likes reading between the tough, growly lines. Sometimes he overindulges in it, maybe even shows off.. Listen. He likes having a frowny bulk of indomitable muscle, curls and fangs in his lap and knowing which gears to press to make it release its pressure, it feels a whole lot like he's done well by his partner. Michael wouldn't have it easy either; just like Dan consciously picked him, tough shell and all, he'd have saddled himself up with the prim proper priss who's impossible to please, with an equally as molten middle to reward his efforts. It would be a bumpy road for them both. They'll have been through a lot by then: breaks and wounds and awful revelations and brushes with death, aging and not aging, and still a sizeable chunk of caution towards anyone who isn't them, but what's love if not tough work and building it all together, brick by brick of trust? They're still harsh-lined, mean-mugged and haughty-eyed apart but so very soft together. I love them very much.

+ 1

So. Listen. Daniel can feel sound waves like a physical sensation, with its own texture and hardness and even temperature, and that very much applies to certain distinct or familiar voices. It's an odd little detail he very rarely and giddily shares, only with those curious and not in danger of offense (sometimes people sound like broken glass, he can't tell them that). The point is, Dan adores Michael's voice. It's full, textured and warm, like inverted leather or thick oldschool denim, heated by recent wear. Listening to him speak is like shoving your hand in the denim pocket of someone else's jacket, or placing it over a jean-clad thigh. Cosy, sturdy, a little bit frayed at the edges. Dan keeps an ever-growing collection of songs and music that has the exact same texture; they remind him of Michael in more than one way and he listens to them whenever he misses him. He confesses as much one darling, tipsy night far, far into their relationship and makes him dance to the slower songs of that particular playlist.

(There's a half-finished violin arrangement that captures the essence of Michael's voice shoved in a drawer somewhere and named something ridiculous and embarassing like Hymne Angelique. The only way it's ever seeing the light of day is if Michael happens to find it by accident. (Or if First Love does, since that applies to our dream verse more than this one).)

[tomorrow-human]

MY THOUGHTS ON iDKHOW'S ALBUM DEBUT: RAZZMATAZZ

So I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME have just released RAZZMATAZZ today and heres what I think...

[SIDE A]

¹LEAVE ME ALONE:

A bombastic opening track. Was released in the beginning of August...? Probably? This song just SCREAMS at you with retro futuristic funkiness. It has 8-bity flourishes in the instrumentation and seems to be maybe talking to the same person as Choke (from 1981 E.P.) and the title track Razzmatazz have been (or maybe a separate entity as suggested by the vinyl booklet and Indoctoration?).

Anyway, fantastic track, great opener, and nice mood-setter.

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²INDOCTORATION:

It's... eerie. It's not a song in the same sense as Leave Me Alone, despite having a wobbly backing track. It's a spoken interlude that seems to be initiating you into Tellex maybe? It yet again mentions the White Shadows that will be overseeing your progress with Tellex. It seems oddly nostalgic for some reason. That's strange. Overall, solid little piece of lore building that really reinforces the concept aspects.

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³MAD IQs:

It's the first song from this album that wasn't released as a single and it made my jaw literally drop. It has a similar lyrical and vocal structure to the opener and New Invention, but what I like is how much they were able to do with it, though it makes you wonder about how far apart these songs were written; but In the context of the albums concept and the Tellex stuff however, it could be interpreted as a corporate decision, this repetition. The minimal instrumentation in the verses with Ryan's sturdy drumming and Dallon's bassline makes me go fucking bananas. It's so fucking great and full of this punchy energy. And the HARMONIES. YES. "Voluntary victim~" "I'm burning~ in your mad IQs" SIR STOP BEING SO VOCALLY TALENTED. Also I think i heard him shriek right before the bridge which? Snazzy. So Mad IQs, energetic track, filled with more of iDKHOWs signature darkness.

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⁴NOBODY LIKE THE OPENING BAND:

Ah yes, Opening Band. Ironic considering how often iDKHOW are the opening band, but I'm sure that's obvious, seeing how they usually sing this one at the start of their gigs. It was actually (I think) the first or second song I didn't know how but found through youtube so I might be pretty biased here. It's a sweet sounding change of pace with the instrumentation being made up of only the piano and tambourine that tells of a typical opening band, that no ones ever heard before and likely will never hear again, via a sympathetic narrator with a hint of the typical iDKHOW teasing. In all honesty, it would've worked better as the album opener, which then could've been followed by Leave Me Alone, but it's a nice change of pace overall.

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⁵NEW INVENTION:

I already reviewed this song on my other blog right here so imma keep this brief. It shares similar aspects to Leave Me Alone, with the music video concept and song structure, but It manages to darken the narrative, and the choir-esq harmonies sound like ultra bright neon lights that only push this mood further. It still is a magnificent song and by far one of my favourites in the album.

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⁶IN THE GALLOWS:

MASSIVE SHIFT IN STYLE HOLY FUCKOLY-. The track opens with a very cutesy old timey little piano intro and starts the verse with a little funny beat. If you don't listen to the lyrics, it sounds like a silly little oldie song. But as we all know, iDKHOW doesn't do silly. The lines "For you, I'd die▪︎Or kill myself▪︎which ever makes you smile," From just the first verse are a prime example of this. The narrators murderous and suicidal intentions have clouded the romantic attraction into obsession- And I kinda like that, in a poetic way. The chorus is a standout, with the calm start to the explosion in the line "I'd swing from the gallows and wave" that just swings at you with a baseball bat to the chest. Oh, and the sax solo? Magnificent. This whole song is a chefs kiss from me.

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⁷CLUSTERHUG:

I love the lyrics of this song the most of it all. It sounds like a rebellious teenager wrote it after thinking about how shit their hometown is and wanting to get out. It also incorporates how much the narrator would want to do all this with their crush, adding that slightly goofy and pretend-aloof chorus of "only if you'd like me to I could fall in love with you" as if they weren't already in love or at least that's how I see it. The vibe of this song is more pop-y than the rest of the album, but that's more likely because it was repurposed for Razzmatazz after being originally written for The Brobecks, their older band. It's a nice little tune :).

[SIDE B]

⁸SUGAR PILLS:

This. Will. Get. Stuck. In. Your. Head- and. You. Will. Like. It. Basically, just seems like a song about drugs that, for some reason, reminds me of Gorillaz (who I dont even listen to). But the BASSLINE AGAIN- Jesus help me live. It has more of that energy we saw with the first few tracks and adds even more electronic elements. It's probably my second favourite song from this album that's not a single because of how fun the chorus sounds. What else can I say? I can just imagine myself bopping to this in the car screaming 'SUGAR SUGAR SUGAR PILLS' On a hot day.

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⁹KISS GOODNIGHT:

It's so sweet 🥺. It's one of those songs I could imagine a character in a movie singing to someone from a stage. If you want pretty song vibes just listen to it. Because it is a pretty song. And that's all I have to say on it. Now allow me to take a moment and shove it into my pretty song playlist that acts like my personal lullaby machine.

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¹⁰LIGHTS GO DOWN:

Yes. F u n k y. Give me that sweet sweet disco energy, thank you. It's just filled with all these *☆~blingy and sparkly~☆* effects, and, combined with the drumming, the result is just glorious. The best part of this song is in my opinion the bridge where it goes darker lyrically and in sound that just naturally slides into another funky-ass sax solo. I can definitely see myself dancing to this at a party and then in later years growing nostalgic for those days.

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¹¹NEED YOU HERE:

It's supposed to be happy in tone and hopeful slightly but it just makes me sad. It's a song about how, because Dallon has to tour because it's his job, he has to be away from his family often. And he had nO RIGHT ADDING HIS DAUGHTERS VOCALS AND RECORDINGS INTO THE MIX ITS LIKE HE WANTS US TO CRY. It's not my favourite of the album, not going to lie here, but it's also such a sweet song with nice instrumentals and vibe 🥺 so that's all I'll say.

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¹²DOOR:

It seems like this one was written around the time sad ukulele music was really at its peak but am I complaining? Fuck no because this song is great. It just gives it to you straight, that if the narrator ever does anything that the recipient doesn't like, they can always cut them out of their life. It's nice in that regard- you don't usually get songs that don't try to deflect the pain or gain pity. We need more of these kinds of songs. The shortness of it really adds to the effect of this being more like a regularly said thing, even though I'm always a bit sad that it ends so fast. It does, however, nicely close the near end of the album before Razzmatazz.

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¹³TOMORROW PEOPLE:

Creepy Tellex thank-you note. You're welcome..? I want no part in your conspiracy tho. Go away weird American corporate man voice.

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¹³RAZZMATAZZ:

And there it is. The title track. Like new inventions, I have already reviewed it here on that same blog so this will be brief also and more just thoughts. It's a great closer and is more old timey than most of the songs here as well. And with the last instrumental and sax solo, we come to the albums inevitable end... until next time.

[GENERAL THOUGHTS]

Overall, this was a fantastic little debut for iDKHOW and I loved it. So worth the pre-order. The songs were great and the lyrics were just excellent. My only real criticism is that the song order on Side A was a bit strange. I feel a way to fix this would be to throw Nobody Likes The Opening Band into the beginning, then have Leave Me Alone as a second track, and maybe even switch one of the songs on this side with one from Side B (either Mad IQs or New Invention with something else but then that would be kind of stretching it). Or maybe even switching Clusterhug with Mad IQs or New Invention could work. So in general? Razzmatazz good album. Next question.

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Thank you for reading, anyone who happens to see this and have read this. Hope you've enjoyed some of my thoughts on the debut and agreed with at least 2 points I made. See y'all on another review (or shitpost)!

-L.J

[sulietsexual]

not gonna lie i'm super surprised you don't consider delena to be abusive in any way. however, i think it's great that you didn't let other people's opinions sway your own judgements, which can be hard to do when you go into watching a new show where everyone seems to have similar opinions. i know you're probs bored of answering tvd asks, but if you have time would you consider writing WHY you don't think delena are abusive and why you like their dynamic? thanks :)

Okay, before I get into my answer (which will be rambling and long and probably not make sense to anyone but myself and possibly @we-pay-for-everything because we seem to have similar takes on Delena) I need to clarify that when I say that I don’t find Delena abusive that doesn’t mean that I think it’s a good or healthy ship. There are a lot of aspects to Damon’s behaviour and to the relationship which make it a pretty unhealthy ship and I would never try to pretend otherwise. But I don’t feel that Damon is abusive towards Elena (even if he does cross some lines) nor do I feel that the ship is abusive as a whole. 

I was caught in a very abusive relationship when I was younger and while that by no means makes me an expert on the subject it does mean that I tend to recognise and identify abusive behaviour in fictional characters and react badly to said characters. I don’t react the way I normally would to an abuser when it comes to Damon in regards to Elena. 

Now, I make this distinction because there was a relationship of Damon’s which triggered my reaction to abusive relationships and that was his early relationship with Caroline, which was textbook abusive. Caroline was raped by Damon and compelled to be under his control. He emotionally and verbally abused her by calling her names and telling her she was worthless, he controlled her by compulsion, made her do things she didn’t want to do, separated her from her friends and caused her to feel extreme trauma and fear. She was terrified of him and he made her feel unsafe, while at the same time she felt that she was attracted to him and that made her hate herself. Damon was Caroline’s abuser and treated her appallingly. But he doesn’t display this same behaviour with Elena.

Damon never rapes Elena. Her never compels her in order to physically take advantage of her (with the exception of an early Season 1 episode where he tries to make her kiss him and this is more an attack on Stefan than Elena and he never tries this again). In fact, the one time he does compel Elena is to make her forget his declaration of love because he recognises that she is with his brother, that his brother is the better man and that it would be unfair of him to put her in a position which might make her uncomfortable and divided. That’s pretty much the opposite of abuse.

Damon doesn’t physically harm Elena or threaten her the way he did Caroline. He doesn’t make her fear for her life, he doesn’t emotionally abuse or manipulate her and, as said before, he doesn’t force himself on her or rape her (physically or by compulsion). In fact, when he discovers that she’s sired to him he refuses to even kiss her until the sire bond is broken, recognising that it would be wrong to be physical with her when she has no agency. Again, pretty much the opposite of abuse. He tries to break the sire bond to set her free, not wanting her to be compelled to be with him.

Now, none of this means that Damon didn’t display some pretty shitty behaviour at times or that he never crossed lines or didn’t hurt Elena or that he was even good for her. He encouraged her to feed and kill when she became a vampire, knowing that she would feel torturous guilt over it, he allowed her to feed from him without informing her of the intimate nature of vampires drinking from one another, he turned off her humanity which allowed her to become a ruthless killer. Even before that he crossed quite a few lines such as walking around naked in front of her, lying in her bed and letting her think he was Stefan and the aforementioned attempted compulsion to get her to kiss him. But, for me, none of this constitutes abuse as none of it truly victimised Elena or traumatised her in any way. Damon’s a shit person, a bad influence and an enabler but he’s not Elena’s abuser.

Before I started watching TVD there were two incidents which I constantly heard about which antis would use to prove Damon’s abuse - the fact that he snapped Jeremy’s neck after Elena rejected him and the fact that he forced her to drink his blood so she would come back as a vampire after Klaus fed off her. What I didn’t have was the context for either scene and once I did, both scenes became vastly different to what the fandom had convinced me they were.

When antis talk about Damon snapping Jeremy’s neck because Elena rejected him, they seem to fail to take two very important factors into account - one, that just one or two episodes before, Jeremy had expressed a desire to Damon that he wanted to die, because he wanted to feel nothing, because the world was too awful and feeling nothing was better than feeling something. Damon even parrots this back when he is about to kill Jeremy and even though Jeremy has since changed his mind, Damon is so deeply identifying with what Jeremy said previously that he’s almost killing himself through the act of snapping Jeremy’s neck. He’s killing someone who, in his mind, wants to die and if he can’t give himself that freedom, he’ll damn well give it to someone else.

Secondly (and this is more important as it directly ties into Damon and Elena’s relationship and dynamic) I firmly believe that Damon snapping Jeremy’s neck was in response to Katherine rejecting him, not Elena.

Damon has always loved Katherine and always desired that she love him back, something which she did but would never admit. Earlier in the episode in question, Katherine and Damon engage in physical intimacy, during which he practically begs her to admit that she loves him, telling her that he will leave everything and everyone behind for her and be with her forever, if she will just give him what he’s always wanted - an admittance of her love. Katherine refuses and twists the knife even further by saying that it will always be Stefan, not Damon. 

This devastates Damon, to discover the woman he loved and longed for for over a century never felt the same way. So he gets drunk and goes to Elena, not to confess his love for her (because I genuinely believe that he doesn’t actually love Elena at this point) but to use her as a Katherine substitute, to somewhat desperately try to prove that someone could choose him over his brother. And - again this is important - he doesn’t react badly until Elena says the exact same words as Katherine “It will always be Stefan”. Hearing the same words which Katherine said and already in a very heightened state of emotion (remember that it’s canon in this ‘Verse that vampires feel emotions at a much more intense level than humans) Damon kind of snaps (no pun intended) and he takes it out on someone whom he believed wanted to die. 

I don’t see this as abusive towards Elena as A) she wasn’t the person harmed - Jeremy was and B) this wasn’t a response to her rejection. Was it a horrible and completely effed-up thing to do? Sure but no one’s denying that Damon’s a horrible and effed-up person. In fact, this isn’t the last time he snaps someone’s neck because he’s pissed off (poor Alaric). And Elena is rightly angry at him for a decent time afterwards. But, again, this action doesn’t victimise Elena it victimisies Jeremy and it wasn’t Damon trying to force Elena to love him or him reacting to her rejection and as such I don’t think it counts against the relationship. Also, given that, like, two episodes later Jeremy’s trying to get “Big Brother” advice from Damon, I think it’s fine that Elena eventually forgives him, given how easily Jeremy - the actual victim - moved on.

Now, regarding Damon to force Elena to drink his blood. First of all, I find it very interesting that no where did I ever read or discover that Stefan also forces Elena to drink his blood with the intention of turning her into a vampire, and he does it in just as violent and forceful a manner as Damon - possibly even worse given that he does it at the site of her biggest trauma and then threatens to drive her off a bridge, the same bridge where her parents died. And he does all to piss of Klaus. He threatened to kill the woman he supposedly loves just to get revenge on Klaus. 

Damon, on the other hand, is trying to save Elena’s life. I’ve seen a lot of antis saying that Delena shippers shouldn’t use that as an excuse but my response is why not? People do crazy, stupid and reckless things when someone they love is in danger. Stefan agreed to follow Klaus and kill countless people just to save Damon’s life and no one is running around screaming about that. What Damon did by feeding Elena his blood did cross a line and took away her agency but he was desperate and trying to keep someone he deeply cared about alive at whatever cost. I don’t really understand how anyone could fully fault him for that.

As for why I enjoy the dynamic, maybe because it’s just so interesting. Damon and Elena have a connection from very early on in the series. Elena is one of the first people to actually see and acknowledge Damon’s emotions and losses. She expresses sympathy towards him when she learns that he also loved Katherine and Damon’s expression when she does says it all - he’s never had anyone consider him before. Everyone has always focused on Stefan, no one has fully considered Damon’s suffering. But Elena does.

There’s something dark and twisted about Damon and Elena. You can see how much she’s drawn to him, even when she’s with Stefan and, as Rose points out in Season 3, Damon challenges her and her worldview. He pushes her and brings out darker, more emotional responses in her. When she becomes a vampire, he is the only one to allow her to give in to her darker, vampire urges. One of my absolute favourite scenes in the whole series is Damon and Elena feeding, getting high off blood and dancing. It’s seductive and dark and oh so very vampire-y. I love that Elena can give into those darker urges with Damon, even if it’s not necessarily good for her.

Wow, that got really long. Hope it was coherent and cleared things up for you!