#i need anxiety meds haha

[deoidesign]

I adore reading your rambling tags, don't stop posting things there 😩

Don't you worry. I think I might be incapable of stopping idk what happened I never used to tag ramble

[clandestinegardenias]

.

[lesbiansanemi]

I have started to accept I am a bit more (re a lot more) psychologically unstable than I thought for a long time and man…. I’m tired of it

[transvampireboyfriend]

im SO tired of caring about my job. can i not care about my job please? how do i do that?

[starversed]

the decision as to whether or not to make [huge life change] may be taken out of my hands bc there is an 90% chance we'll go on strike (as we should) (it just means I can't actually afford to live in this country anymore) (lmao)

[resonabilis-echo]

lol

[skyeateyourdonuts]

friggin freaking fuckin hell yeah

[notallangelsaregood]

My thoughts on Spy x Family Chapter 82

Needless to say, (some real serious) manga spoilers alert

Oh, boy, I'm gasping for air. I'm panicking, and I've not panicked this much about Spy x Family since Anya's last hijack incident (which my heart has not recovered yet). Mr. Endo, may you, please, pay my cardiologist bill? I'm not joking, I'm hyperventilating, and my chest is TU DUM, TU DUM.

The mole was discovered! Poor guy (or not, who knows?). I wonder what SSS will do to him. How far will the organization go? I believe we won't even know.

I'm seriously nervous for him. Twillight is used to things getting on his way, with minimum complications and this situation is definitely not it. Of course, he could figure things could go bad, since It's a really risky operation, however, I feel his frustration in not getting much time to secure the real wheeler.

Damn, my heart is not surviving till the end of this chapter.

Our man got ✨ The Skills ✨ Still, all this shooting is getting me pretty nervous. I'm immediately getting my anxiety meds. Endo, what the actual f-

Yeah, Twilight is The Man! Still, my hands are trembling and so is my apprehensive cardiac organ. This is sure to be qualified as torture.

He is quite wise disguising as Yuri. Haha, got it? I'm not okay, Christ.

Damn, Yuri is very intelligent, as well. The brains had to go to one of the Briar's, am I right? (Poor Yor, I love you, It's not personal. Bad comedy is my coping mechanism when I'm nervous. I'm so sorry!)

He is right about that. Twilight is nervous. And I wonder why. Maybe because there's more on this game than before? He is a father. A husband. He worries. He is not the same he was before, as much as he tries to convince himself that he is not attached to his fake family dynamics.

I can clearly imagine his thoughts racing. He's thinking about Anya, about Yor, about WISE, while trying to run and get these thoughts away from him in order to not commit mistakes, like leaving a footprint behind. Just saying.

Oh Yuri, you are so sweet, in a way. And you know absolutely nothing.

The panic™  on his face. Poor Yuri, I'm truly divided right here. See? I'm calmer, not panicking at all, this is certainly my clonazepam working.

Quick (but important) writer's note here, I'm actually diagnosed with intense anxiety and use prescribed medication, I joke about it, cause It's better to laugh than cry on the reality of my condition, however, never use anxiolytic/benzodiazepines drugs without valid prescription and conscience, it might cause long-term dependency and tolerance. My Pharmacy academic self felt the need to point this out. Moving on!

By the way, have you noticed the "waver"? Twilight is hesitating, deeply, which makes him more prone to aiming wrong. Haha, ha… I'm okay, I swear 😰

...

HOW THE FLOOF AM I SUPPOSED TO BE CHILL AFTER THIS, HUH?

Okay, two theories. I'm okay, I swear, my blood pressure is just fine.

Theory number 1. Twilight gets Yuri shot on some of his limbs, probably one of his legs, so our spy can buy time, run to encounter the others Wise's agents and hide. Gladly, he can aim just on the spot when no much damage is made to Yuri, even though the spy is extremely nervous. Twillight was totally not expecting to find him on that corner, and he knows that doing something so serious like UNALIVING HER WIFE'S BROTHER will tear her apart. Why else he would waver? He is the best spy of Westalis. He doesn't hesitate, but this is different.

Theory number 2. Which I believe is less likely, but still possible, Yuri gets our incredible Spy shot on some area of his body where the disguise falls off, and he realizes Twillight and Loid are the same person, but he does nothing about it, at least not for a while. Making him and the spy share this major secret for a while, due to numerous reasons, but mainly to protect Yor and take her out of her position as Loid's wife safely. But as I said, I find unlikely to Yuri shoot TwiTwi, even though the latter is quite nervous and might not dodge the shot. Besides the fact Loid has his arm aimed at Yuri first, while Yuri has his arm sideways, which gives Twilight an advantage in time.

Be sure to talk to me in the comments, I would love to hear what you guys think. Moving on to the last past of the chapter.

Lady Yor! Our grownup baby! She is still with the same outfit and hair down, so I assume it's late at night or afternoon, maybe Anya is already home or at a sleepover with Becky? Not sure.

Our poor girl is nervous due to Yuri filling her thoughts with the possibility of Loid cheating (which is dumb as floof, because he is a loyal boy) but still, even sober, Yor is worried. She cares about this family so much it probably hurts and confuses her. Her face on the left gave me chills, so much is going through her mind, almost if she senses something is wrong.

So. Much. Blood. I'm. Nervous. I. Can't. Breath. Properly. What. Was. This? Whose blood is this? (Not Yor's, I assume). I always count the days till the next chapter, but for this one, I'll be in severe mental pain until its release date. My mind racing like Yor's, wondering if Loid will come home late or come home at all.

I keep imagining scenarios where one of the boys gets shoot and the aftermath of that, Loid or Yuri at the hospital or being held by their organizations in order to get intel from them, Yor drying with worry, there are so many possibilities. This arc has been the most intense so far, for me, at least. I don't know how I will cope till June 26th.

What do you guys thinking? If my heart survived until now, yours will! Make sure to like, reblog and support my work here on Tumblr, I really appreciate it. Now I will rest, cause that chapter was (hell) difficult 🌹 (this post will be reviewed soon, so if you encounter any grammar or spelling mistakes, forgive my bilingual mess self)

[eraserheadswatching]

aizawa and izuku quotes part 6!

because its 7am I haven't slept and I have a 10 hour shift soon!

-----

Izuku , making a cup of tea: Yeah, get into that leaf juice, you sexy, sexy bee sauce.

aizawa: Hey, do you take constructive criticism?

Izuku : I absolutely fucking do not.

-----

aizawa: You're alive.

Izuku : There's no need to sound so disappointed sensei.

aizawa : I'm not I'm just shocked

-----

aizawa: Izuku , what is the ONE thing I asked you NOT to do tonight?

Izuku : Raise the dead.

aizawa: And what did you do?

Izuku : Raise the dead.

aizawa : why why do you do this.

izuku : I am just in a silly mood okay

-----

aizawa: What's wrong with you?

Izuku : Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

aizawa : Oh... I'm adopting you now

izuku : yeah lam- what?

mic : STOP ADOPTING EVER SAD CHILD.

aizawa : YOU CANT STOP ME.

-----

Izuku : What goes up but never comes down?

aizawa: The amount of stress you're bringing this family.

izuku : hut its just you, me and the cats

aizawa : exactly. poor bastard is stressed.

-----

Izuku talking about aizawa : my dad taught me to think before I act.

Izuku now glaring at bakugo : ...So if I smack the shit out of you, rest assured that I thought about it and am confident in my decision.

aizawa proud as fuck : go get em kid!

-----

Izuku drugged up on hospital meds : Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food?

aizawa :....what????

class 1a : I'm so confused?

----

izuku high as fuck on hospital drugs after the stain fight : haha pretty

aizawa and mic bursting into the room :KIDDO?!

izuku : ayeee! you made it!

mic : hey buddy how you feeling?

izuku smirking : they got me on the good shit!

aizawa laughing : oh my god!

-----

[neopuppy]

i follow both your nct and enha blogs, so i saw your reply to an ask on your enha blog which also mentioned renjun and it felt wrong messaging you abt him there so i will just message you abt him here haha. hope you don’t mind!!!

have you seen renjun’s message on bbl where he exposed a sasaeng’s twt account? that was bravery right there. i hope that’ll serve as an example to idols and warning to crazy fans

I was going THROUGH it last night bc of this jcjejcjdjd I genuinely dont know if I’d be as concerned if it was anyone other than Renjun only given the circumstances(SM ent. and their long history of torturing idols- plus what was also happening with cbx/exo yesterday)

going to say this as someone who is on my 3rd SM group that I’m watching fall apart in real time once again, this is likely Dreams last run(the irony) as a properly promoted group. the only reason they even still get so much is because they are huge in Asia and have always been(PROBABLY BC SM HAS NEVER ONCE TRIED TO BREAK THEM INTO THE WESTERN MARKET THE WAY THEY DID WITH 127 BUT THATS BC 127 WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR US FANS- we know how that went). its so hard to watch your favs literally cry for help and you cant do anything when its their own company working against them.

sasaengs are kept alive by INTERNAL staff that have access to information such as private schedule locations, hotels, flights, etc. why else would the SAME people always conveniently ‘show up’ to unannounced events that were never for ‘fans’ to begin with?

Renjun is one of the handful of actual talented idols we have in the age of 2024 where all kpop idols need to do is buy an entirely new face to debut and be deemed “it boy/girl”, makes me sick to my stomach that he cant do his job peacefully bc of people who relentlessly stalk him, purposely sit by him on planes, call his phone day and night.

I’m fr just a normal person, not famous just living my life and my anxiety is BAD. way worse when I was younger and would have physical panic attacks to the point of throwing up. I got help(therapy, meds, etc) fortunately and learned how to calm my anxiety but I always think abt how idols have to deal with this especially when I’m at the airport. like INTL travel is so fucking stressful and taxing on the body, I cannot imagine camera shooting at me the second I step off a 16 hr flight where weird ass ssngs followed me to the bathroom and took pictures of me SLEEPING the entire time! only to run after me in mobs after going through customs.

like idfk why anyone would defend this animalistic behavior. if an idol feels desperate enough to share their mental health issues with us as fans- coming from a place and industry where this is very stigmatized- WE NEED TO LISTEN, AS FANS WHO RESPECT AND TRUST HIM. I wish I could do something, but I cant, and I would beat up every ssng to exists if it held no repercussion bc famous or not these are HUMAN BEINGS, and they dont deserve this.

I really worry given the kpop track record of idols choosing their exit instead of finding help. I am so proud of Renjun for putting himself first and taking this time off to heal himself. like there is just so many things and I am worried abt all of Dream, they debuted so young and have some of the worst ssngs out of all of kpop with a company who wont lift a finger to protect them. in this case they truly only have us(the actual fans)and Renjun going public with this proves that.

I hope anyone who has invaded their privacy feels ashamed, and this goes for ‘fans’ that follow them around the world/are constantly in fan calls/fan signs etc- you are weird. period. nothing normal about that one-sided parasocial relationship that you brag abt online, and instead of spending $1000’s upon $1000’s on bothering an idol who will never fuck you, maybe consider investing in a much needed grippy sock vacation.

I think these people are beyond help, and unfortunately they have the funds or limitless credit to endorse their madness. I need more idols to see this and start calling out these weirdos. NO ONE SHOULD ALLOW THIS BEHAVIOR TO BE NORMALIZED, end of story.

[trivialbob]

Yesterday I had my annual physical. In preparation for the blood draw I'm supposed to fast for 12 hours. Stupidly, I scheduled my exam for the afternoon. That meant I could eat until 3:30 AM the night (early morning) before. I dined at 6:30 PM and didn't set an alarm for a post-midnight snack.

What was I doing in the hour before going to my appointment? Looking at fast food coupons that came in the mail. Not a bright move after 18 hours food free.

I did not get hangry, but I realized I swore a few times throughout the day. At work (for real), at my wife (kidding) and at the dogs (because Ella is the best fucking Aussie ever).

By the time I got to my appointment I was really hungry. Sadly, there is no extra credit awarded for adding seven hours to my fasting.

The nurse used an automatic sphygmomanometer to measure my blood pressure and didn't need a stethoscope. That was good because the rumbling of my stomach would have interfered with her hearing. (My BP numbers were excellent!)

In the week leading up to the testing and exam I'm extra careful about what I eat and drink.

Oh Bob! Why not do that for the preceding 51 weeks?

Have you never had pizza and beer?

Actually I do watch what I eat most of the time. I take meds for blood pressure and cholesterol and fully understand they don't give me carte blanche to over indulge. Despite what you may gather from my brewery stories, I'm generally careful about what and how much I drink.

When my blood was drawn for testing I (as always) flinched, starting from when the technician cleaned the site for the needle (AKA the crime scene). She smiled and correctly noted that this is not my favorite thing to do.

Then she tried to take my mind off it by asking for my dogs' names. Haha lady, I've heard that one before. I know all the tricks to distract young children and me. However, I barely felt the little jab. My anxiety is always wasted.

After my appointment I picked up a large pizza and met Sheila at the brewery. The evening after my annual physical is always Fat Tuesday.

[macgyvermedical]

Hi! I am working on a fic in which the main character (superhero in the MCU) gets hit by a villain's unknown gas that causes extreme and irritational fear/paranoia/anxiety (sort of similar to the DCU's fear toxin, I guess). I'm just wondering how this would work medically, as the character will obviously see a doctor after the fact. I'd like the conclusion to essentially be "you'll just have to let the toxin/drugs run their course," but what kind of tests would be run, and would they be able to determine what exactly is in the character's system? (Since it's a reality-flexible universe, there can be elements of the toxin that aren't actually real or familiar/recognizable to make it cause some of the reactions I'm wanting.) Is there any sort of meds they might give the character? Any insights you might have to make the conversation with the doctor at least a little realistic would be very helpful, thank you! :)

Sounds like a pretty standard day on my observation unit haha.

There are lots of drugs, particularly stimulants, club drugs, and THC, that can cause paranoia and anxiety. The thing is, none of them do it consistently enough that you could easily make them into a chemical weapon like you're describing.

The closest IRL chemical weapon to a fear toxin is called QNB (aka BZ). QNB is a deliriant/incapacitant, meaning that it causes incapacitating confusion, hallucinations, and probably paranoia and anxiety as well without causing death. There is no antidote that has been identified, and the drug really does just need to run it's course.

Let's say your character went to the emergency room. They'd probably draw some blood and take a urine sample. The blood would mostly be used to see how the person was doing physically (what their electrolyte levels were, how many red and white blood cells they have, what their blood glucose is, etc...) and maybe get an alcohol level. The urine would be used to do a urinalysis (basic test to determine whether someone has a UTI or has things in their urine that shouldn't be there, like blood or mucous) and a urine tox screen.

Unlike what most people think, a urine tox screen won't identify everything. It will just identify the top 10 commonly abused drugs. It's the same test that they run when people start a new job. If the fear toxin is a common problem in-universe, though, they might have a specific test for that that could also be run on the blood or urine. We don't have a specific test for QNB.

Once they got all the tests back and they were normal, they would know this was probably either a drug they couldn't identify or a psych problem. They might gets seen by a psychiatrist in the emergency department, but if intoxication was suspected (as in, the patient reported that their symptoms started when they were exposed to a drug), psych would probably want to wait until the person was sober.

For this they may be admitted to an observation unit to let the drug run its course. They might also be given an antipsychotic medication like olanzepine or haloperidol, or a benzodiazepine like lorazepam to decrease agitation/paranoia/anxiety.

If the person was a flight risk due to their paranoia and it was deemed that they couldn't make good decisions for themselves, they might also have a 1:1 sitter or a video sitter to stay with them and stop them from leaving (or in the case of a video sitter, alert nursing staff to them trying to leave).

[star-1111]

IDJSBDISJS HI HI

can i req quackity with an s/o that doesn’t get sick very often but when they do it hits them like a truck? like bad nightmares, cold sweats, terrible migraines, and they get a wee bit delusional??

i’m sick and today i was crying over literally everything so i just thought this would at least make me giggle abt it :]

OFC! (Im actually sick too, so im so sorry for the late response 😓)

~

Quackity x gn!sick!reader

warnings: slight language, mentions of throwing up, mentions of intense pain/sickness, mentions of panicking/anxiety

~

Okay, so first things first

if you two live together, and he'd come home one day to seeing you in the most MISERABLE PHYSICAL STATE EVER

he, of course, thought you were joking

so, he played along

but the second you rush to the bathroom puking your guts out

boy oh boy

he's desperate to help you

probably pacing back and forth with anxiety too

"oh my god, should I bring them to a hospital? what medication should I use? baby, are you gonna be okay? oh my gosh, what do I do?"

after he gets you to lie down, dr. quackity is doing his best he can to get you to at least get some soup down

if you try to get up even just to get a refill of water or go to the bathroom, he'll get SO grumpy

"mi amor! why aren't you laying down?"

will joke about getting you one of those old people things that will alert someone if they need help LMAO

okay okay but all jokes aside he's really trying his hardest

you're too hot? he's already setting up a fan for you

you're too cold? he'll make sure you get warm without overheating like a ps5 (HAHA-)

you're hungry? he's already in the kitchen

you wanna watch tv? he's already rushing over to get you the remote

he'll constantly reassure you that you're not being lazy (if you feel that way, I FEEL LIKE A BURDEN CONSTANTLY :c)

even despite you whining, pleading for him not to, he will cuddle you

he just wants to see you back on your feet

I swear he'll cuddle you so much that you're in his presence more than you're taking meds

by the time you're feeling better, he's UNBELIEVABLY overjoyed

will definitely try his hardest to make you avoid any contact with germs

I feel like if you ever get delusional, he'll get 200000x more worried about you than before

he tells you he quit being a streamer and became a doctor to take care of you as a joke, but when he realized you believed him he's reassuring you he was joking

OMG

WILL ABSOLUTELY DO THE AIRPLANE THING W YOU

IS THAT WEIRD??

IF YOU'RE LIKE "I don't like taking medicine"

HE'LL TRY DOING THE AIRPLANE THING TO HELP YOU

GOD I LOVE HIM ANYWAYS <3

he doesn't like seeing you sick

I feel like he'll joke with you just to try and see you smile, but majority of the time he's overprotective and gentle ^^

honestly he's just a big sweetheart 🥺🥺❤️

[rat-shark]

burners and how late I think they got their autism diagnosis

(made by an autistic person)

TEXAS

immediately. came out of the womb with a diagnosis

also has bad ADHD but kept forgetting to take his meds so he just goes through life unmedicated ❤️ live your truth king

CHUCK

got diagnosed in elementary school

everyone thought he was just shy before but, haha, NO.

autism + anxiety combo been kicking his ass since he was tiny

got put in a special needs class but then everyone realized he's fucking smart as fuck so he got yeeted straight to a gifted class

JULES

only realized something felt off high school

insanely good at masking so no one ever suspected anything until she did some research herself

struggles with letting herself unmask, even around friends

DUTCH

he doesn't know yet. don't tell him he needs to realize it himself

"haha isn't it so weird how all of my friends are neurodivergent.... not me though!"

will realize in his mid twenties and struggle to get diagnosed

once he does he'll tell burners and they'll be like "oh we know"

now that I think about it...... maybe possibly also ADHD? time blindness kicked his ass in Going Dutch...... idk

BONUS

MIKE

not autistic actually

but EXTREMELY adhd

got diagnosed in like kindergarten but didn't know it, all he knew is that he had to take medication but didn't ever actually wonder what it was for

only realized when he left Deluxe and suddenly his brain started doing cartwheels bc he didn't have his meds with him

[keezybees]

Hi! I follow you across social media and I really love your art and am super looking forward to reading Hello Sunshine! I wanted to reach out because I'm also Bipolar and I really appreciate the work you do to spread awareness about it but there's something that I find kind of harmful in how you talk about it, and it's just the insistance that it absolutely can't be treated through non-medical means. I fully understand that meds are life-saving and that depending on the severity of symptoms, length, and frequency of episodes, going without medication can be lethal. However, as someone with Bipolar I but controlled symptoms (and frankly symptoms that seem a lot less disruptive than yours, I'm sorry), hearing that there's no path forward without medication would easily have triggered suicidal thoughts when I was younger. There are a lot of reasons why people can't be medicated (for me it was a combination of family control and financial struggle), but hearing at your lowest that there's no way forward without something that you can't have is really damaging. I think it's totally possible to stress the importance of medical access and the need to work with your medical provider without erasing the ways that non-medical treatments can also be life-saving, depending on a person's situation/symptoms/etc and that some people can live full lives even if their symptoms aren't fully controlled. Anyway, I love your work and I just wanted to raise this alternate perspective because I think you're helping a lot of people, but I also think a lot of people can be harmed by this rhetoric, especially marginalized people who can't seek medication for any number of factors beyond their control.

Hi Anon! I totally hear what you're saying, and so I just wanted to run through a few things to clarify my stance, both for you and for others who might be reading this (omg I am SO sorry this is so long though haha):

I do emphasize treatment a lot, because I think it's really important for people to work with professionals to find ways to manage their illness. This is partly due to my own experience (I avoided treatment for a looong time) and anecdotally, but also because the research we have is pretty clear--untreated bipolar has much, much worse outcomes for a vast majority of people. However! When I say treatment, I don't necessarily mean medication, and certainly not only medication! I absolutely think some people (though it is sadly rare) can find ways of managing their illness medication-free. I just feel that it's best to do this work with the help of professionals + peers (whether that's a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, social worker, support group, etc) who can help you find your way, and help you manage symptoms that do crop up (this is especially true if you're currently on medication and choosing to go off of it, since that can come with physical risks). I could definitely stand to make this distinction a lot clearer though, and I'll try to be more mindful of it in the future.

I also can definitely see how my words could imply that I think non-medication ways of treating bipolar aren't valuable, and I'll work on my phrasing going forward, because they absolutely are! My aim is not to dismiss stuff like self-help or lifestyle changes or meditation or exercise, because I think they're great--for example, that kind of stuff has helped a ton with my anxiety and overall quality of life, and I know for a lot of people they help with their bipolar symptoms. But for me, these things simply don't have much of an impact on the bipolar, and our culture's emphasis on them frustrates me because it prevented me from getting proper care for a very long time, and made me feel like a failure for not being able to control my symptoms despite working so hard. So I'll also try to be more clear in the future about whether I'm venting about my own situation vs speaking broadly.

I also definitely hope I've never said anything that implies that our symptoms are inevitably life-ruining! My symptoms aren't completely controlled (particularly my lows), either, and I like to think I live a pretty good life. I think for many people un-treated bipolar can be life-ruining, and I've just heard too many stories about people who thought they could manage on their own only to have an absolutely devastating manic episode to not warn people of the risk. But most of us will continue to experience some degree of symptoms throughout our lives, absolutely.

I totally understand why someone would want to go med-free, or at least try it, and I in no way think the medications we have now are flawless haha. Side effects are awful, life-changing, and can even be life-threatening (I've had some horrible experiences with side effects myself); the meds we have now aren't very effective against depressive episodes for a lot of people (myself included), and for some people they're not effective at all; meds for most people don't completely eradicate symptoms, etc. I'm fully on board with the med struggle, and I honestly spend a lot of time criticizing the options available to us, though less so publicly, since I don't want to further stigmatize the idea of taking psych meds in general!

One of the reasons I emphasize medication (when I do emphasize meds, specifically) is because when I was younger, I was terrified of even the idea of them. I avoided it for years and really, really suffered because of it. I think our culture does in general look down on psych meds, particularly the kind we usually take, so I'm trying to destigmatize the concept of them, and emphasize for people with similar fears that taking meds can be just as life-saving and healing as they are harmful and frustrating, and that it's at least worth trying.

I'm a YA cartoonist (and former teacher, barista at a youth coffeehouse, tutor, I worked for a kids' gaming website...actually all of my jobs apart from dishwashing have involved kids, now that I think of it lmao), so a lot of the time when I'm talking about this stuff on social media, my target audience is sort of...very young people and kids who think they have bipolar (or may have even been diagnosed) but are afraid to seek help and/or don't think they need help and/or don't think help is going to actually help. So my goal is to demystify and normalize the idea of taking meds and/or seeking treatment for those people, and to emphasize that just because they're able to manage their illness now, that might change in the future, and imo they need to be aware of the very real risks, which includes things like an incredibly high suicide rate for unmedicated individuals, and the reality that the illness can be progressive (episodes can get worse and harder to treat the more you have them--they certainly did for me, and I wish I had been more open to the idea much earlier).

On a similar note, it's also important to recognize that a lot of things can look like bipolar, and a lot of people don't really know what bipolar actually looks like to begin with (particularly if you're getting your info from tiktok or similar). So if you've self-diagnosed and never explored treatment options (emphasis on options!) you can easily be missing stuff like thyroid issues, epilepsy, brain tumors, vitamin deficiencies, or a myriad of other treatable mental illnesses that mimic bipolar, and I strongly believe that people deserve care and help for whatever they're struggling with, including the possibility that it isn't bipolar at all!

Finally, I truly hope I've never said anything that comes off like I'm looking down on or judging people who choose to not be medicated for whatever reason! If it works for you then that's phenomenal (I'm jealous tbh) but it's honestly none of my business haha. When I talk about this stuff I do try to stress most people, because we're of course not a monolith, and when I say something like 'a majority of people with bipolar will need some form of medication to flourish' I don't mean to dismiss those who aren't in that majority. It's more that I want people to be open to the idea that they're not failures for needing meds, that they're actually in very good company, as well as to combat the 'just meditate! or try harder!' narrative that's so prevalent in our culture.

Edit: one last thought, which is that part of my target audience is also parents or guardians whose kids might be struggling--kids are obviously the group with the least access to treatment on their own terms. My hope is that talking about my experiences and discussing the risks will help motivate guardians to get help for their kids, and also help motivate kids to seek their own treatment as soon as they're able. Most people develop bipolar in their late teens and early 20s (though my first hypomanic ep was at 16), so it's a relatively small percentage of folks in this situation, but I do see how a kid whose parents aren't willing to help them could take my words badly, so I'll try to keep that in mind!

I'm definitely going to be more careful about how I phrase things going forward, because I can absolutely see how my intent could be lost. Hopefully this clears things up a bit (although it's also possible that we simply disagree, and I think that's okay too--like I said, our community is not a monolith, and a lot of these conversations are fundamentally ongoing)!

tldr; I'll make an effort to watch my words so that it's clear that my target audience really isn't my bipolar peers, and that the target of my criticisms is anti-medication wellness culture + psych med stigma, not the concept of non-medication alternatives or additions in general. And I'll try to do a better job of highlighting when I'm speaking only for myself vs our community as a whole!

[rutadales]

have uu left dsmp ?

no pooks I'm never leaving, just been inactive for a few reasons, a couple small ones and then a huge one

first, i had a couple bad experiences irl. a lot of shit happened with my family that threw me off balance. life shit that just made it harder to be on my phone

second, around the same time i had some pretty negative experiences within the fandom that left a bad taste in my mouth and made it harder to participate in the community without just feeling gross and bad.

third, the drama actually got to me lol. i try to be a pretty unbothered guy, especially online, but i have some obsessive tendencies. when something makes me upset i have this compulsion to look at it more, which makes me more upset, which makes me look at it more— cue positive feedback loop. with things happening every couple of months and people messaging me about it, even to the point where people i knew personally accused me of things? yeah it got me stressed out haha. i honestly still wasn't great about separating my own sense of morality from the actions of the people who made content i enjoyed. whether i was a good person become one of those obsessive thoughts tied up in everything, and i had this need to check twitter and reddit and tumblr for the verdict on whether or not i got to be good. which meant it was time to log off and stop engaging for a while.

fourth, i got burnt out with projects. which is my own fault but i had this anxiety with "i need to get this done on time" that became associated with anything dsmp or even minecraft related.

but the big main reason was i was just busy with irl stuff. beyond family shit, i was also visiting Europe for the first time, went camping, forgot my meds, got super sick from withdrawal, was having almost four appointments a week between cardiology, psychology, physical therapy, and my roommate moved. been busy

but no im never leaving, dreblr is my best friend. i just hop in and out of fandoms but i never leave them behind for too long lol. unless i have a really really bad experience (sander sides you know what you did)