#i miss them a lot sometimes.
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idk if I've said it before, but your portrayals of both Rouxls and Queen are among my favorites, and the way they are when you combine the two is the sole thing that got me to say "yes" to queenkaard. When I first saw it in the game and it started catching on as a ship, I was like "nooo I hc him as gay," but then after seeing your stuff I was like "oh nvm I totally see this now."
i think hearing "i didn't see this ship before, but after your art i understand it and/or even ship it myself" is one of the nicest compliments i get, because it makes me feel like i'm representing something meaningful and sweet about a pairing and having people understand what i think is so great and captivating about them. i've gotten a couple asks like this and sometimes i forget to respond but i always really appreciate them :) thank you very much
#ask#deltarune#queenkaard#rouxls kaard#queen#art#doodles#conkreetmonkey#i mean its fine to draw ship art Just Cuz dgmw but i have Paragraphs of reasons why i like All my ships and it feels really good when i can#help people see the reasons why i think characters are cute together and why they'd work#i love feeling like im Doing something with my art. expressing something. explaining something. makes it feel meaningful#esp when i thought queenkaard was very Out There at first dhbsdjbhf i was like 'dude theres only gonna be me and 2 other people#who ship this'. and there was at first. now people dont think its a rarepair. i built this city goddammit. me and like 2 other people 😭#and im only half joking. i drew them so much because nobody else was. its still a rarepair to me. the fanart and fanfics are still#kind of sparse besides me tbh. but a LOT of people say 'i ship it because of cozy' and that makes me happy#there Are a couple fanfics on ao3 i havent gotten to yet only bc ive been tizzy about the gay car this year but i will read them eventually#anyway i still really love queenkaard i miss the blue people i cant wait to draw them more once the new chapters release aaaaaa#also since i mentioned i dont always respond to asks: i still read each and every single one of them#im sorry if anyone ever sends me something and i didnt post it. sometimes i go on ask-reply sprees and sometimes it just gets#answered months later dhbdsbjf. but please dont ever think i dont care about what you have to say i love hearing from you guys#and sometimes i just Forgor because adhd go brrt
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you know how cats will leave dead mice and birds on your doorstep as gifts? lifesteal mapicc totally does that shit
#nontraditional ways of showing affection 💕💕💕#he started leaving them for zam during team awesome when they got closer#zam found it weird at first but then kinda endearing#and then after the zam betrayal he definitely would leave larger animals at the front of the castle#partially as a threat (which is how zam took it) but also just cause he missed him#i don’t know a lot about season five devotions but joker zam was probably into it and even reciprocated/escalated it sometimes in return#they got bloody with it cause yeag#he doesn’t do it for zam in current season six cause it makes zam sad#and he’s trying to respect that#but like after he killed his horse in the beginning of season 6? definitely a dead mouse or two left where zam could find them#as an apology that fully didn’t land lol#def left shit for Ro too but i didn’t watch a lot of duality stuff#so i don’t really know how that would’ve gone over#sorry for the devotion duo yap sesh in the tags but uhh uhh umm 😁😁#mapicc#devotion duo#lifesteal smp#lifesteal
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astarion origin playthrough worth it just for all the extra moments where he does the "sad wet cat" face
#bg3#bg3 spoilers#thoughts about media#astarion#*kisses his forehead* my awful little bastard man... i love you and your big sad watery eyes.#IT'S SO FUCKING QUIET THOUGH IF YOU YOURSELF ARE PLAYING HIM GOOD LORD#I'M SO USE TO HIM COMPLAINING TO MY TAV!!!!#OR BANTERING WITH HIM OR KARLACH OR WYLL!!!#I MISS HIS THEATRICS!!!!!!!#not that it's ENTIRELY quiet. until i found karlach i was travelling with shadowheart lae'zel and gale.#and let me tell you. gale and lae'zel do NOT shut the fuck up if they are together.#they were literally having an entire tinder date while we were trecking through the woods to go get karlach.#i NEVER knew they talk so much because while i've travelled with them individually in past saves...#...i've NEVER had them in my party at the same time!#gale is actually pretty nice to lae'zel! he asks a lot of questions but doesn't condescend her as he does others sometimes.#that's probably because he's afraid of her though. I would be too were I nothing more than a wizard with 8 strength.#I do like how you can look at pretty much any two companions and get a well written and generally enjoyable dynamic!#It feels like they considered that a lot of people would want to maybe pair off the companions they didn't romance with each other!#and wanted it to be easy for really any pairing to work... if a person just paid attention to their shared interactions.
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Pokemon Masters made a really cute halloween Iono outfit so obviously I put Courtney in it
#pokemon masters#magma admin courtney#oras#i have nothing else to tag this as its just courtney. but in ionos halloween outfit#i have some stuff in my inbox i WILL get to answering them all I promise#ive just been ultra exhausted due to work. life is stressful. but we keep on trucking!#and ive at least been having fun drawing :]#its nice to do some regular art inbetween the pixels. i love doing pixel art but sometimes i miss doing my oras sillies#so here. oras sillies#ive been fucking around with my style a lot because i keep being unhappy with what i make when its not pixels#and it has been helpin g :] its just fun to experiment with stuff#part of the reason why im drawing regular a bit more again. havin fun plus playing
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#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza like a dragon#yakuza 7#masato arakawa#ryo aoki#snap sketches#AH jumpscare#i aint drawn aoki or masato (funny as hell i have to distinguish) in forever BYYYYYEE i miss him. i want him to be even more dead#my favorite genre of masato art is aoki killnig him so its my turn to do that. kinda. in spirit#Understandably its always aoki as the aggressor but i wanted to ask myself Can I Flip It#evidently aoki wasnt happy even with all of his power and all.. it makes me wonder how much his self hatred exists in aoki#A LOT EVIDENTLY LMAOOO but im having issues trying to articulate what i mean#aoki is very much a persona Fake Through And Through so sometimes i wonder if aoki ever gets tired of having to act all the time#he's on edge all the time and constantly trying to figure out how to use people instead of just. chilling LMAO GROW UP#he refuses to let himself be genuine and vulnerable with others yet at the same time he wants the love that comes with that#sure his new persona gives him the life he wanted but its gotta be wild to think 'people only like me for what i can do for them'#its hard to accurately describe what i was thinking while drawing these i just know i like rattling masato in a can#there's just so many layers to him it makes my brain itch SOOOO bad#having the love and sincerity he said he always wanted but not being able to see it because of his own self hatred... wild...#relatable... im gonna throw up... he still sucks tho lol......#ok bye im gonna contemplate drawing something moody cause i guess it's a moody sunday idk sue me
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i do think gray is the type of guy to call the rest of the deliverance "chat" mid battle
#fe gray#fe kliff#fe15#fe sov#fe shitpost#fire emblem#im still mad they never got a support conversation#in my head they are exactly like this all the time#did u guys know i love the ram kids a lot i do i dont talk about them enough but theyre all among my fav fe characters theyre so everything#i miss this game a lot i love the characters so much i just wish it was fun to play sometimes
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no but making the shy insecure little boy fall for the sarcastic dark-haired boy with a sharp tongue and making the second develop a love so profound and reverential for the first years later was the best decision cc has ever made, wasn’t it
#sometimes i wake up and remember how much i love thomastair#and that’s the result#i just miss them a lot okay 😭#also im on the train and im bored#so get thissss#thomastair#alastair carstairs#thomas lightwood#the last hours#tlh
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one of the funniest things bk moon ever did was make you believe lloyd was Gone™ by having javier be all wistful and yearning about his old master convincing you that this is an old heartbreak that never healed right and that he's still mourning him centuries later. only to then reveal that not only is lloyd alive and perfectly okay he's literally one phone call away. javier can literally just pick up the phone and have a direct line with him any time he wants. he's just being dramatic about not being at his side 24/7 like he used to. it's so fucking funny asjkhksfjs
#i talk a lot <3#cpsm#crown prince sells medicine#cpsm spoilers#javier asrahan#lloyd frontera#ch 466#ch 467#I MOURNED HIM YOU BASTARD#fellas do you ever miss someone so much the way you talk about them makes people believe they're dead but actually they're fine#and you're just upset he's not an arms reach like you used to be#javier: *lying face down on the ground* i miss lloyd-nim so much. if i could just have one more conversation with him...#lloyd: *through the phone* i'm literally right here you bastard#javier: sometimes i can still hear his voice...#sorry sorry i'm not downplaying the actual heartbreak of them not being able to see each other face to face for actual centuries#but it's just the funniest thing to me aksjhkdsf#the apothecary prince#tap#tap spoilers#the apothecary prince spoilers
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series of meals
#started looking through my food pics folder and was so impressed with them. you get to see them too#a LOT of these are congee hahahaha but we've also got some soups and noodles and eggs#photo record#food tag#YES i made all of this stuff. can't believe i have to have a JOB and i can't just MAKE BEAUTIFUL MEALS#i miss being unemployed.#god bless my kitchen and its huge windows and beautiful natural lighting#i have lots of other delicious foods with less beautiful images that didn't make the cut#i miss those big wide shallow bowls a lot i gotta buy myself a set sometime. they were my roommate's who moved out#i had some other stuff in here but took it out since everything else was bowls basically so they looked incongruous
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Me: I joke about writing the same McCoy centric story over and over again in different ways
Me: and like. I love doing it and imma keep doing it because it makes me happy.
Me: but also. I do sometimes wonder if it's like. A little Much.
Me: like maybe I should branch out or something
Me: [reads another fundamental and extremely insulting misread of McCoy's character by someone who is clearly making a Choice to cast McCoy as the villain, because they have to get him out of the way of spirk, because they're too???? idk immature??? to realize that even when you're in a relationship with one person, other ppl can and SHOULD still be important to you]
Me: lmao I hope I AM too much actually!!!! I hope it is 100% obnoxious how much I love that doctor!!!!! Time to write more versions of the same story of McCoy being forced to realize that he is loved and cared for!!!!!!
Me: I KNOW MY NICHE AND IMMA DIE IN THAT NICHE, THANKS
#mine#not putting this in the mcc*y/tr*k tags bc i am venting not trying to start 💾🐎 [discourse]#but woof. WOOF. i want you to know that if you hate the doc then sp*ck and k*rk would hate YOU#like seeing someone say they're sp*ck or jim coded and then say flagrantly absurd things about mcc*y.......u are garbage coded actually.#sp*ck and k*rk would literally never#i will never understand how so many ppl can ship mcc*y’s besties and then???? hate on mcc*y?????????#i block LIBERALLY so i have a lot of b*nes haters blocked already tbf#i just stumble across one in the wild sometimes alas#that mindset btw is how that counseling fic came about lmao - we were talking about how if sp*rk dated they'd still drag mcc*y EVERYWHERE#romantic or platonic he is THEIRS just like they're HIS. it's a triumvir*te my guy#any two of them hook up they're still making the third stay at their side 24/7 lolllllll#how can you claim to love sp*ck and k*rk and so fundamentally misunderstand them and their relationship with b*nes#genuinely tragique#you are missing out on so much fun#we are not watching the same show lmao <3 leave my doctor alone <3 leave his bfs alone too <3#me: i should let things go / sp*ck: have you instead considered being a petty bitch / me: what / sp*ck: they can get fucked and die mad 🖖#me: ur so right sp*ck / sp*ck: i usually am#guess who literally just found out that if the word is contained w/in a longer tag it now shows up if you search that word!!!!!#that change very well may not be recent but i just found out!!!! anyway. asterisks added.#i give up. tumblr keeps putting this in the fucjing tags. hellsite (full of hatred)#eta: didn't think to make this non-rebloggable earlier but now it is lmao. it's just a vent post y'all <3
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Sparks tour 2023
#I thought it would be nice to put all their photos from the tour in one post because I love seeing them all together :)#(there were so many though - I sadly had to leave 5 photos out)#best tour. 10/10. zero notes. <3#everything I could find from the tour that was already posted has been reblogged ^^ (if I missed any of your posts: let me know!)#a little explanation about the archive (maybe I should write a proper thing on how to navigate it sometime):#I've tagged posts with the city things happened in so you can find them that way through tags#posts have additionally been tagged by date following the format Month Day Year like so: june 16 2023#if you are on desktop or using a browser you can click the link I put above & it'll lead you to the archive of all the posts from the tour#I still have a lot of things to add (including my own tour experiences) so I'm not done with tour posting!#I'll post any new posts the normal way and in a week or so I'll send them back in time so they'll show up at the right dates in the archive#End of PSA!#sparks tour 2023#sparks tour 2023 photo#2023#sparks#russell mael#ron mael
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man. not really an original thought but i’m always so deeply…annoyed, i guess, by media where there’s a category of instantly recognizable Bad Guys that you’re just meant to accept are Supposed To Die, because they’re Bad and killing them is therefore Good.
obviously more knowledgeable people than me have already pointed out the issues with things like inherently evil fantasy races and that’s an entire problem all on its own. i have nothing useful to add there, i agree that it’s bad. but even aside from that it just pisses me off. i can’t get my head around the appeal, it feels like the least interesting possible way to interact with a fictional world
it’s actually a pretty big part of why i have such a hard time getting into video games, even good ones. i couldn’t get more than ten minutes into playing breath of the wild when a friend let me try it out because i ran into An Enemy i was supposed to fight and it broke the immersion too much for me. why do i have to fight them? am i supposed to want to? why do they attack me? who are they? are they alive? sentient? angry? following orders? whose orders? what are they doing here? i kept asking all the wrong questions and they just kept trying to tell me which buttons to press to attack and eventually i got so frustrated i just quit and handed the controller to someone else
#mumbling#i’m honestly fascinated by the disconnect between the way i think and the way video games seem to expect me to think#feels like i’m missing a whole lobe of my brain or something sometimes#back in england there was one night i spent like 3 hours talking to a bunch of guys just trying to understand what ‘playing lame’ means#(in the context of fighting games)#and i mean fwiw. they did concede that a lot of the time it doesn’t really mean anything#but it’s fun to try to understand#and i think being forced to explain it to someone who probably can’t ever fully Get It was kind of fun for them too#like again. this was for multiple hours and everyone was very enthusiastic about it pretty much the whole time
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if you have a good vibe/kind thought to spare and could send it my way. i'd really appreciate it.
#saying goodbye to my friend murphy tomorrow#i'll be okay. it's the right decision and i'll get through.#life is just going to be really hard and sad for a while#i don't want to talk about it in any detail but i feel like i have to say it out loud#and i have this paranoid anxiety thought that's like if I don't tell people he's gone they will ask about him#snd I won't be able to handle that for a little while#I don't need acknowledgment or sympathy. I don't need to talk to anyone. I don't need cheer-up fodder#so no need to send me anything or talk to me about it really i promise#just if you can take a second to love and appreciate the animals in your life. that would be really nice.#you don't have to tell me about it it would just be nice to feel there's love out there#writing this all out is making me feel so stupid. i've deleted and rewritten several times#but i gotta because it would be a lot worse if i was worrying about not talking about it#so yeah. no need for likes or comments or dms or asks or anything. just give someone some love for me ok?#murphy is the senior yellow lab you may have seen me post pics of sometimes. he's my parents' dog but he's my buddy.#and he's gotten me through a lot. like a lot a lot#and i'm going to miss the hell out of him#and i'm so worried about my parents. they're going to have a much worse time than me.#and they don't need anything else on their plates right now#it's just everything you know?#and all at the same time too. 2024 has been just one gut punch after the other#so yeah. if you could give your pet a hug or a treat or a scratch or take them on their favorite walk. that would be awesome#this was good actually typing all this nonsense out helped a little. still don't want to talk about it but at least i have ideas for#the 'leave me the fuck alone' email i'm going to send everyone tomorrow at work
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im having an absolute unadulterated blast with the Ethersea prologue for many many reasons, it's beautiful and exceeds all my expectations.. but also. there's many moments here that genuinely make me go "oh god damn, these people are Americans." the Quiet Year system is a profoundly fascinating and revealing game - nothing tells you quite as much about how somebody sees the world than asking them to imagine a new one.
#customizable 'single family housing' the immediate adoption of a liberal economic system hierarchical gvt structures... and fish#especially when the whole set up is such a clear metaphor for climate change as the consequence of industrialization!#'single family housing' just rocked me so hard. that in the middle of an apocalypse we'd use resources towards that kind of individualism#and then they *do* kind of brush against that! with the idea of Community going down because of the inability to connect with neighbours!#the adventure zone#taz ethersea#mine#edit also not to understate that i do find the critique and allegory that is present to be really nice and genuinely exciting#the ending of prologue v goes SO HARD i was out of breath from the excited stimming#and i think my difficulty reading tone made me miss that the 'entrepeneur' thing was a joke? like theres still some#interesting biases at work here but maybe there's more insight than i gave it credit for. im curious about how ol' joshie's bs will develop#autistic anarchocommie netwon moments#also i wish theyd be less anxious about the brinear as a DID allegory i think it could be so interestinggg#we'll see. im really loving this show so far. taz has such a very special direct connection to my heart#i really like what theyre doing with this stuff even if sometimes i wish theyd do a lot more#the ending monologue of prologue v basically encapsulates most of the things about this that i find exciting and cool#i hope the transition to dnd will still allow them to bloom
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If Solar gets nightmares about when he was stuck in Sun's head, I wonder if that means he dreams of the times after too.
If he gets dreams of when Sun first decided to reach out and show kindness to him. If he dreams of when he was still active and helped him break out of his shell with his unwavering support. If he dreams of when his home was a kinder world to exist in. If he wakes up feeling warm and fuzzy and safe afterwards(and if the realization of where he is—who he is—crushes it moments later).
#xero says things#I slept and I'm still thinking about them 😔 maybe if i write smth for them i'll be normal /silly#no but for real i do wonder that#like.#he said his sun was compassionate and fought for him. he's had hints of caring a lot for his sun for a long while#i wonder how badly he misses him sometimes#especially considering he is quite literally the only person left alive who even remembers his sun when he was still active#stars know a weight like that would just about kill me#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#sams#sams solar#tsams solar#xero thoughts and rambles
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It's not uncommon at all to miss your abuse, to miss disordered behaviours, or miss when you were at your worst.
It's understandable why you might feel like you have no clue what to do - recovery is an uncertainty. It is unfamiliar, it is scary. It's okay to long for the stability of those dark parts of your story. You aren't a bad person, you aren't ungrateful, nor are those feelings proof that you cannot recover.
You still deserve to recover, however that looks for you. You don't need to run from yourself, you are not a net negative.
#recovery#mental health#mental health advocacy#abuse tw#abuse mention tw#having nostalgia for abuse/poor mental health is something people don't mention a lot#people expect you to run away from those feelings and embrace the holy light of recovery and joy#but that's unrealistic#i have so many nostalgic feelings for those points in my abuse and that's *common*#i remember watching somebody on youtube talk about them missing the 'bad old days' of their disordered eating#and it's like... that is how it feels. the bad old days are sometimes so overwhelmingly tempting#and we cannot shut that part away and pretend it doesn't (or rather can't) exist
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