#i miss being thoroughly convinced everything is fine just cause im super dissociated from everything (me until last week)
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fuck emdr. seriously
#ive been crying non stop since thursday#there's a reason why my mind had repressed all those memories and emotions. now its like im relieving them all over again#i know this is necessary but. am i strong enough#my therapist said ive been anesthesisizing myself all my life (drugs eds hypercontrol daydreams) and its true cause these emotions are so#fucking scary#and i could never show vulnerability.#i miss being thoroughly convinced everything is fine just cause im super dissociated from everything (me until last week)#my issues being sublimated into ocd episodes was much. easier#god i can't do this#personal
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