#i mean we only have the ending page (it’s 99% no fake as one of the leakers said)

[nevermeyers]

[pesterloglog]

Jake English, Dirk Strider

Page 633-636

JAKE: Fuck!!!

JAKE: Why did she have to go and build a moon laser!!!

JAKE: Why did she have to go and

JAKE: And SAY all that!!!

DIRK: It's not over.

DIRK: That moon laser doesn't mean shit.

JAKE: ...if theres no one to press the button?

DIRK: Boom.

DIRK: Or, you know.

DIRK: No boom.

JAKE: Her guard is down...

DIRK: And you have a gun.

JAKE: I have TWO guns.

DIRK: Let's be real, this wouldn't even be the first time you've thought of it.

JAKE: Its... an option.

DIRK: Or.

DIRK: You help her win the battle.

DIRK: Avoid baptizing the Earth with laser-fire.

DIRK: And she uses The Point, and the world doesn't end.

DIRK: Probably.

DIRK: Who the fuck knows.

JAKE: What should i do?

DIRK: I'm not gonna tell you.

JAKE: I already know youll want me to do whats heroic.

JAKE: But you wouldnt want me to kill jane either.

JAKE: Would you?

DIRK: Stop staring at me like I'm gonna tongue-kiss the answer into you, dude.

DIRK: You know what you need to do.

JAKE: But jane was right about me!

JAKE: I cant be trusted.

JAKE: I dont even like 99% of people.

DIRK: Then do it for one person.

DIRK: Aren't you tired of spreading yourself thin trying to believe in everything?

DIRK: Because it's looking pretty fuckin' likely that the future where Tavvy is happy and the future where Jane is alive don't coincide.

DIRK: You have to kill one for the other to survive.

JAKE: It sounds like youre gunning for her.

DIRK: It sounds like *you're* gunning for her.

DIRK: Say what you will about Dirk, but he always wanted you to be your best self.

DIRK: He pushed you hoping if he did it hard enough, you'd push back.

DIRK: That's a far cry from whatever neutered domestic purgatory Jane's offering you.

DIRK: Wasn't it nice to be believed in, man?

JAKE: Ugh.

JAKE: Can i make an honest query?

JAKE: Did i really kill him?

DIRK: Hm.

JAKE: I did, didnt i?

DIRK: Common sense says no.

JAKE: Cant you swing that one by your esoteric telepathic dirk connection?

DIRK: That's a tricky fuckin' wicket, man.

JAKE: Its "sticky wicket".

DIRK: It's nothing, because that's a stupid fucking phrase cooked up by fake people about a fake sport from a dead planet.

DIRK: Anyway, it's tricky because there's not really all that much of anything left of the big man.

DIRK: Not here, anyway.

JAKE: Oh, baloney!

JAKE: Thats not how this works. Youre the supernatural tsaheylu of our combined "steezes".

JAKE: This isnt my first ride in the rodeo, mister, I KNOW THE RHYTHM OF THIS BUCKING BRONCO.

JAKE: HES STILL HERE, DAMMIT!

DIRK: I'm sorry.

DIRK: He's gone, dude.

JAKE: OH FUCK OFF.

JAKE: YOU CHARLATAN.

DIRK: Yeah.

JAKE: HORSES ASS.

DIRK: Get it all out, man.

JAKE: YOU MALEVOLENT MASCULINE MALFEASANT.

DIRK: I know a crisp glass of personal culpability isn't what you ordered, but hey.

DIRK: It's better than relapsing.

JAKE: Im drunk right now.

DIRK: And that sucks, buddy.

DIRK: But I'm talking about the big show of "everything's fine now" kitchen table red undie dirty dancing you did.

JAKE: Oh, i forgot about that.

DIRK: You fuckin' wish you did.

DIRK: It'd be the only reasonable excuse you'd have for nipping this uncomfortable epiphany in the bud so you could slink back to following orders from Dirk.

JAKE: ...

JAKE: Gods hooks, i backflipped right into my old ways!

DIRK: Don't beat yourself up about it. It's a running theme with literally everybody we know.

DIRK: You all get caught up in these feeling jams, hugging it out in self-realizational bliss.

DIRK: Then, bam.

DIRK: Premature ejaculation.

DIRK: That passionate growth grind ends before it builds to anything actually satisfying.

JAKE: :(

JAKE: Are you saying i need to be red undies jake again?

DIRK: Absolutely the fuck not.

DIRK: Hands off the belt, buddy. You've graduated.

DIRK: You're fully dressed Jake now.

DIRK: Sitting on the sticky floor of a custodial closet, hidden away from anything certain and good in this world.

DIRK: Alone.

JAKE: This is scary! I dont like this.

DIRK: Fuck yeah it is. This is sweaty, achey, burning transformation, brother.

JAKE: I want to go back! I want to be the other guy again.

DIRK: You can't be the other guy anymore, Jake.

DIRK: We're sending him upstate to live on a beautiful farm, where they're gonna immediately drag him out back and put him out of his fucking misery.

DIRK: Remember when you told Egbert you wanted someone to hold you accountable?

JAKE: No.

DIRK: Well.

JAKE: Nooooooo.

DIRK: "Here's Johnny!"

JAKE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

JAKE: Oh...

JAKE: *sniff*

JAKE: Oh, dirk...

JAKE: Cripes, if there really is no magical component to all of this,

JAKE: if youre really gone,

JAKE: then i am simply a forty year old man... being led by the nose... by an imaginary friend.

JAKE: That is not cute.

DIRK: It's kind of cute.

JAKE: No!

JAKE: Its mental illness!

DIRK: It can be both.

DIRK: Look.

DIRK: What you need to do is stop sobbing into your own fucking arms and make a decision.

DIRK: Spying for the rebellion, running away... these were steps in the right direction, but they also had, y'know.

JAKE: Plausible deniability.

DIRK: They were deflections.

DIRK: And at the end of the day, that's what choosing Jane would be, too.

JAKE: Its odd, but...

JAKE: Shucks, i dont want to cut her down right before she makes this big turnaround.

JAKE: If shed decided to keep her promise...

JAKE: thatd be bitter fucking berries to live with.

DIRK: But?

JAKE: But she probably wont change, will she?

DIRK: Why in the fuck would she?

DIRK: She'll have won.

JAKE: But... i dont think she was meant to be this way. Do you?

DIRK: Like, was she born to be a wildly racist dictatorial cake boss?

JAKE: Ok, when you put it that way it sounds a bit bonkers.

JAKE: What i mean is...

JAKE: Take me, for example.

JAKE: I know its not my fault janey got a bit rough and tumble with our relationship. That fundamentally, i didnt deserve it.

JAKE: But that doesnt exactly make me a mensch by default, does it?

JAKE: In fact i worry there might be more of me thats, well... inherently bad than not.

JAKE: And thats why everything tends to get so furiously fucked all the time!

JAKE: Everyone is waiting around for this better version of me to pop up, but thats never going to happen.

JAKE: Because if it did, it wouldn't be me anymore.

DIRK: So, are you trapped being Mr. Pissy Pantyloos Loser Man no matter what?

JAKE: Sort of.

JAKE: What do you think?

DIRK: I don't know.

DIRK: Maybe?

JAKE: Oh...

DIRK: Who even gives a fuck?

DIRK: This is some big philosophical philandering you're trying out, and we didn't even finish elementary school.

DIRK: The best we've got to work with is whatever you gleaned from "My Dinner with Andre" and "Blade Runner."

DIRK: And you fell asleep during "Andre."

JAKE: Point taken.

DIRK: Here's what we do know: when you face our friends tomorrow, they're gonna be none-the-wiser about the insane masturbatory matrix bullet time battles you've been having with yourself in your own head.

DIRK: What will be real to them is what you DID.

DIRK: That's it.

DIRK: Show them you're trying.

DIRK: Or don't, and get left behind.

JAKE: Good god...

JAKE: This is the worst pep talk... ever.

DIRK: It's you, dude, what did you expect?

JAKE: True.

DIRK: Do you want to be left behind?

JAKE: No!

JAKE: I want to see tavvy grow up!

JAKE: I want to choose him!

JAKE: But i want to believe in jane too...

DIRK: Sigh.

JAKE: Listen.

JAKE: I never really understood all that much of the "doomed timeline" hoopla you cerebral types tend to gab on about.

JAKE: But... its nice to think that there might be countless janes somewhere out there who never stopped being happy.

JAKE: Baking, getting up to all manner of lighthearted mischiefs... true blue all around.

JAKE: When i think of her, thats whats real to me.

JAKE: What she is now, what these rotten unenviable circumstances have made of her, its all just...

DIRK: Happenstance.

JAKE: Is that stupid?

DIRK: Probably, but you're a god of Hope.

DIRK: You're a poster-child for making stupid shit feasible.

DIRK: And no one has the power to say what's true for every Jane.

DIRK: I'm sure if you asked a couple of them how they feel about labor camps and domestic violences, they'd hit you with a "Woah there, buster jones."

JAKE: "Thats not for me!"

DIRK: "No siree!"

JAKE: Hehehe.

JAKE: Exactly.

JAKE: If i can believe in those janes,

JAKE: i think i can let this one go.

DIRK: Extravagant hoops to stumble through just to keep believing, man.

DIRK: It's sneaky. I like it.

JAKE: Its decided then?

DIRK: Seems so.

DIRK: You can finally leave the closet.

JAKE: Har, har.

JAKE: Goofs aside, old buddy...

JAKE: I get the strange sense i wont be speaking with you again.

DIRK: You won't. Why would you?

DIRK: You're normal now.

JAKE: But-

DIRK: You don't need him.

JAKE: It feels good to pretend, though.

JAKE: To hold on a little while longer.

DIRK: Don't.

JAKE: Fine! Fine...

JAKE: Hope is the crummiest aspect of the lot, huh.

JAKE: I swear the only time its worth a lick more than delusions and hot air

JAKE: is if it really fucking hurts.

DIRK: Welcome to being a person, Jake English.

[shiningthundert]

Owari no Seraph: Why Yuu’s emotions probably aren’t manipulated/Fake *contains major spoilers*

I heard many people brush off Yuu’s feeling towards Mika as “manipulated/programmed” by Shikama Doji or “Survivor’s Guild” and after effects of Childhood Trauma (abandonment issues) but here is what actually speaks against this (I wrote a document file, with a lot of proof if you want to look it up later):

A) Yuu seems to know Mika even before he was dead. In chapter 122/123 we see Mika and Yuu still alive and kicking as angels (Seraph Mika and Cherub Yuu, it’s most definitely him), what proves this would be the to Mika seemingly familiar eye in chapter 106 and the fact Yuu “was created” out of this eyeball. That’s where we get to

B) Yuu wasn’t “created” but is a clone. As we already know from real-life, organs can be grown out of stem-cells or embryos and in Seraph of the end this “embryo” must be the original Yuu’s eye. You can’t replicate something without having the original and if Mika and Yuu were best Friends and together, even before Shikama had to make up this whole plan to revive his dead son, His current feelings and the fact (chapter 85) Yuu even went to the forbidden room, because he was drawn to Mika and didn’t even know he was in there, means they are real and Yuu isn’t programmed to feel that way. They are just remains of the feelings he had towards Mika from his original life.

C) And Yuu said those are his real feelings himself. While everyone is calling him “insane” or “manipulated” by Mikaela and the first, Yuu confirmed he was sane this entire time (Chapter 118) and isn’t doing what everyone says. (Page 34).

I also think Ashera saying “You’ve only ever had eyes for Mika” (Chapter 117) was foreshadowing to the fact, that he literally was an eye and with Mika even before humanity XD Someone also complained about Yuu’s “creepy eyes” from Chapter 113, which exactly look like the eye from Yuu’s original form. They probably weren’t meant as Yuu being a dead puppet, but probably as confirmation, that Yuu is “The Cherub” later on and only saw Mika ever since. You could also say, maybe these Cherubs were created by the first and fallen angels, as part of the Balu project (122) and Yuu was assigned to be Mika’s supervisor, but the first didn’t have his current plan in mind at that time, so of what use would be personal feelings if they could be a hindrance too (Maybe, telling Mika that his life could be in danger because of the project). Yuu’s feelings are 99% the real deal and Kagami, plus everyone involved in the ONS productions, confirmed Yuu’s feelings were romantically too what would go against “just a stupid obsession”.

Furthermore Yuu, was immediately starting to talk about himself going to die, if he can’t have Mika in his life (indirect suicide threat chapter 119) and explained how Mika always has been his reason to live, setting him apart from the rest of his family (Shinoasquad/Akane co.). When his parents abandoned him, Mika was there, when everyone died in the vampire capital, Yuu only lived on because Mika wanted him to and he wanted to get revenge for him and his dead family, when he found Mika again (1st/2nd) Reuinon he lived to protect what’s most dear to him and when losing him a second time, saving Mika was his purpose.

To this “He always lets Mika stand out from the rest of the family” we have A) The “I want to save my family, you’re family too” Mika: “You can’t have both” and Yuu suddenly saying “I don’t care for humanity” and even willing to risk the lives of the other children too, if it meant Mika would be safe. And B) The confusing translation of Chapter 119′s beginning:

“I always thought about myself and my Family” “I just had to save my family” “I just had to save you”, this sentence can be intepreted two ways 1. “I always thought I had to protect my family, but I only had to protect you” or 2. “Since I only have to protect my family, I only have to protect you” either way he is separating his feelings towards Mika from the others, meaning Mika is a special case. And remembering chapter 117/118 Ashera’s and Yuu’s fight, we learned that Yuu’s deepest desire, has not only something to with Mika, but also isn’t just wanting to save him(but this would be Shikama’s plan, so he is already acting out of order), although he only wants to save Mika if he claims, to want to save everyone.  Again there seem to be personal feelings not even Shikamadu expected. The ‘separating Mika’ can be seen as manipulation, but thinking back on that, all Shikamadu ever did, was putting Yuu into a life scarring situation, cloning him and telling Yuu his purpose was Mika, although he won’t be able to remember that at all. 

Last thing I actually wanted to say but forgot (sorry I have issues to concentrate, especially if I love the topic) was Yuu’s reaction to Mika and Shinoa’s confession. When he found out Shinoa loved him, he just rejected her, no further comments or reaction. But when Ashera told him, Mika was in love with him, he cried and suffered harder than before. He was already panicking  and in despair because Mika died a 2nd time, but having to hear “he was in love with you”, made it even worse. If it was just fake, an obsession or he was just a brother to him, he wouldn’t have reacted as if he just lost the opportunity to get together with the one he loved since forever or even harder than he already did. (You know what I’m saying? If not just tell me). And after hearing he could save him as demon, he even was all that “what are you doing to *my* Mika?” and randomly calling Mika pretty: “There was an angel that looked like you”, “They look like you, but even prettier”, “See? That’s you”. It almost looks like he’s flirting with him (and I can tell you, I was like that when realizing I was in love with my BFF and she was in love with me, before we got for 3 years separated from eachother and met again XD).

I also think there’s something weird anyways in everyone being scared of Mika’s life and thinking Mika must be sacrificed if humanity has to be restored, but that’s another thing I’ll talk about next time. I was just mentioning it because, that would defy first: Mika being turned into a vampire, as part of emotional manipulation and second: Turning Mika into a demon, if it means him having to perish, although Shika’s plan is reviving Mika.--->https://www.tumblr.com/shiningthundert/711601715786481664/owari-no-seraph-the-weird-thing-of-mika-having-to?source=share

Edit/Addition: I forgot to say that yes, there is emotional Trauma which can shape a child and that also, there's a certain emotional dependency if the last member of the family survived and you always thought they were dead, to the point you also wanted to die, but this same emotional trauma, is what gave them the ability to grow closer and develop a relationship in the first place. Sympathy and trying to be the other's emotional support is what love needs as well and Mika is the only one Yuu has this with. So of course will a shared trauma strengthen their bond, but that doesn't necessarily mean that romantic love needs to develop. However what we know is, Yuu is attracted to Mika (source: Shippingwiki Trivia/Manga/Game/Interviews) and also the feeling he's the only one who understands you, on your side and will do everything to make you happy, that's what most people look in potential partners for and who is more fit for this role, than the one that always gave you a reason to live and you feel attracted to even before humanity and their death itself?

CHAPTER 125 SPOILERS

Edit: Called it, Yuu is the Homunculus and Mika was the one who gave him name and heart. See his hyperfixation doesn't come from nowhere and also isn't manipulated emotions as he was never intended to feel love until Mika gave him his name😆♥️♥️

[romance-of-three-memes]

Hello, I hope you see this question.

If you don't mind, I want to ask about Lü Meng's death in light of the historical records, what do they say about it? Is it authentic that he was poisoned by Sun Quan?

And would you please provide me with online sources where I can read more about the historical records? I don't have much access where I live.

I tried to search but couldn't figure out myself.

Appreciate the help.

Hooooo boy, okay, this got long, so here we go. In short, I'm 99% sure Lü Meng wasn’t poisoned by Sun Quan, (the 1% will be explained later, but basically I'm waiting for someone to email me back). We can’t even blame Luo Guanzhong for that misconception like we can for a lot of the less-than-positive misconceptions of people affiliated with Wu. In the novel Lü Meng was possessed by the spirit of Guan Yu, who killed him as vengeance for being executed. Supposedly Lü Meng bled from his orifices, lovely detail right there, isn’t it? But of course that’s also untrue, and mostly Luo being mad that Wu beat one of his faves.

Sun Quan ended up becoming quite the piece of work and treating a lot of the people who had served him well like garbage later in his life (-cough- Lu Xun, Lu Xun buddy I am so sorry-), but this wasn’t one of those situations. Lü Meng didn’t really survive long enough for that (unfortunately?… fortunately?). From everything reputable I’ve seen he died from some unspecified illness, it’s often insinuated that he’d been dealing with health issues since before the campaign in Jing.

Sun Quan seemed pleased with Lü Meng's success, and I don't see what he had to gain by poisining him. Lü Meng had just taken down Guan Yu, who has a massively overblown reputation, but it was still pretty impressive, especially considering the circumstances it was accomplished under. The whole fiasco surrounding Jing Province had been a huge stalemate between Wu and Shu for years, and a good part of Lü Meng's takeover was done with little to no direct conflict or bloodshed. He and his comrades were able to read the situation around them and use it to their advantage.

Moreover, at that point Sun Quan had tried to calm things down by offering a marriage alliance to Guan Yu, which Guan Yu mocked him and the messenger for, and he'd done a variety of things to anger Sun Quan like helping himself to one of Sun Quan's supply depos, so at that point I'm pretty sure Sun Quan was full in on burning what was left of their bridge with Shu and wasn't particularly heart-broken or upset about him being executed.

You could argue that Sun Quan might’ve faked his approval and sadness when Lü Meng died, but that seems very unlikely to me, especially since Sun Quan could’ve had him executed and made an example of him if he really was mad about it. He probably wouldn’t have gotten much, if any push-back, seeing how stringent military law was. They weren’t exactly squeamish about capital punishment, even for what we would consider minor offenses.

Admittedly Sun Quan’s... erm, ability to make sound judgments lapsed in the later part of his life, but again, that ugly mess would mostly come after Lü Meng was gone.

The only sources I’ve been able to find that claim Lü Meng was poisoned are in the 2010 tv adaptation, a Chinese ‘news’ site that also makes claims that ‘the United Nations has become a puppet of the United States’ and just seems extremely fishy to me in general, and Lü Meng’s wikipedia page.

The thing about Chinese Three Kingdoms era stuff on wikipedia is that people who edit the pages often claim something and quote untranslated lines from the Sanguozhi without it being entirely true, or at least they change the ‘feeling’ or context of passages. Since most people reading the article probably don’t know Chinese, they assume that the person making the citation is telling the truth and have pretty limited means of figuring out otherwise, especially since Chinese is a lot harder for English speakers to learn than something like French or Spanish.

OR they cite works that are very hard to find and thus make it difficult to directly contradict them, which very much seems to be the case with Lü Meng’s wikipedia page. The book cited was Rafe de Crespigny’s A Biographical Dictionary of Persons from the Later Han to Three Kingdoms… Which I have yet to find any electronic copies of online despite much searching, and physical copies cost hundreds of dollars. But I dug up his professional email and sent him a message just to totally put this to rest. If/when he responds, I’ll post about it.

I think it’s a sign of good scholarship that you were skeptical of the poison theory and tried to seek out confirmation. That’s one of the most important aspects of doing research, unlearning the instinct to just sort of accept things that don’t seem blatantly untrue, because unfortunately, there are a lot of people in the world who don’t like telling the truth.

As for sources about Lü Meng, admittedly it's hard to come across detailed stuff about him in English. But I was able to find a translated biography for him on Kongming.net (who in my experience take translation seriously and are truthful to the meaning of the original text, although some of the site pages seem to still be broken), and there's a book called Generals of the South also by Rafe de Crespigny that he's made open access, you can download it as a pdf here.

de Crespigny has said that he thinks he was a too criticial about his appraisal of Liu Bei in his earlier work, and I don't quite remember if that shows through in this book or more of his other work, but just as a caveat. It's been awhile since I read the book, I should reread it.

[star-going-supernova]

Um, would it be wrong to ask for an explanation of the lore of Bendy? I’ve seen the wiki page, but going from my experience of FNAF lore, it’ll take more than a few videos to truly get it.

A tall order, friend, but I like a challenge! My disclaimer, before I even start to get into this: I don’t know everything about Bendy, the timelines, the characters, etc. There are three games (Bendy and the Ink Machine, Boris and the Dark Survival, and Bendy and the Dark Revival) and some books. I know only BatIM and BatDR. So this is not comprehensive and probably isn’t completely accurate. Much like with fnaf, I also tend to cherrypick my favorite bits and pieces, and also I’m an old timer from when all we had were loads of theories about the lore. So in some aspects, I’m kinda set in my ways and thus haven’t fully absorbed canon that goes against my preferences.

Now, I haven’t watched all his BatIM videos, but I highly recommend SuperHorrorBro’s BatDR Story Explained. It’s about 45 minutes and he does a very good job of contextualizing a lot of the timeline and stuff, imo. His playthrough of BatDR is also very good, if you feel like going through the whole game. 

And here’s the final thing: so sorry if this is presumptuous, but if you’re asking with the intent to read my own stories, I largely use non-canon stuff as of the end of BatIM. So I do mention some differences between canon and my fics. Should go without saying, but there are a hecking ton of spoilers ahead. 

(Much like trying to explain fnaf, there’s no real short answer here. Bear with me, friend.)

Let’s start with some important characters: 

Henry Stein

My personal favorite character (which is HEAVILY reflected in my fics, lol), he’s who you play as in BatIM. He’s an animator who once worked on the Bendy cartoons before leaving the studio to spend more time with his family. He’d been expected to put a lot of crazy hours in, which understandably wasn’t working out. Now, in the games, he doesn’t have a ton of characterization (again, can’t speak as to the books), but he comes across as a pretty chill dude. What little dialogue we get from him in BatIM paints him as someone who’s friendly, optimistic or at least not easily beaten down, and concerned with the overall state of affairs. I personally write him as someone who upholds kindness above all else, whose determination gives him a spine of steel, and who sees the toons and goes into Dad Mode almost immediately. 99% of my BatIM stories feature dad!Henry, and he’s a very, very good dad. 

(Something else of note, and I’m genuinely not sure where it falls in terms of being canon or not, is I consider Henry to be the Creator. This has a pretty similar meaning across all the fics I use the concept in, but even with the differences, it boils down to him having a certain influence over the ink and often using those “powers” to help the toons. It’s got a little bit of a “chosen one” trope to it, and AU background stuff can influence how meaningful it is vs how symbolic.) 

At the end of BatIM and further confirmed in BatDR, we find out the Henry you play as is not the real Henry Stein. He’s merely an ink copy created by Joey Drew so Joey could work his frustrations out on a fake version of his old friend. 😐 The ink version of Henry is trapped in the inky realm created by Joey in an endless loop of repeating the same script (the game) over and over again. I don’t use this piece of canon. In any BatDR fics I’ve written/am writing so far, Henry is the real deal. 

• • • 

As a quick side note, any time I talk about the loop/cycle, I’m referring to an actual different world. Joey created this world and gave it a set script that all the creatures in it have to follow. These are the events of the first game. Everything resets after the end, and none of the characters remember/are aware that this is happening. You could argue that Henry now remembers if you start the game over, especially if you have something called the Seeing Tool (why did I think it was the Viewing Tool?? oh well) you get in the last chapter that reveals a lot of hidden messages. The set script is broken by the time BatDR takes place.

• • • 

Joey Drew

The boss of Joey Drew Studios, he came across throughout BatIM as constantly pushing his employees past their limits, being a very obnoxiously cheerful dude, and not particularly caring when his delusions of grandeur began to affect the studio and employees. Speaking of which, he took a fair amount of his employees and sacrificed them and/or turned them into inky abominations. I’m not sure if it’s canon that all of the implied toon-ified employees are really them or if any of them are inky copies like Henry. I typically treat it like he full-on ruined a lot of people’s lives. We find out in BatDR that he didn’t work alone, though. There was some extremely shady stuff and lots of delightful implications of human experimentation expanded upon in BatDR regarding the Gent corporation, who I believe helped with the Ink Machine and ink supply and whatnot. 

Joey makes a proper appearance in BatDR as a ghost-like memory of himself. But in the human world, Joey has died.

I’ve personally written Joey in a lot of different situations and personalities. Sometimes, he’s an absolute monster in my fics. Sometimes, he and Henry are like brothers. I don’t know if I’d call him one of my favorite characters, but I love playing with him. 

• • •

Bendy 

The titular character, Bendy is either: A) a very cute little demon cartoon character who many fic authors write as mischievous, silly, and gosh dang adorable (he never actually appeared in BatIM but boy do we pretend he did), this particular side of Bendy is almost entirely fanon, B) an intimidatingly tall, lanky off-model form of the former who hunts Henry down, often written as either plain old evil or just misunderstood (I’ve done both), also referred to as “Bendy” with the quotation marks or as Ink Bendy; he’s one of the main antagonists in BatIM and is an instant death if he catches Henry, or C) an actual demon-looking character more commonly referred to as the Ink Demon, who is one of the main antagonists in BatDR, and he has a bit of a split personality deal going on where he becomes small cute Bendy and is friendly (this is the result of torture), but it should be noted that this small Bendy is somewhat childlike and mute, which I consider to be very different from the fanon version A. 

• • • 

Twisted Alice Angel (sometimes called Malice or “Alice”)

Much like version B of Bendy, Twisted Alice is an off-model version of Alice Angel the in-game cartoon character (who never actually appears as a character in the games). She’s got some Two-Face vibes, in terms of appearance, and she’s mad about it. She wants to be perfect and has dissected a lot of poor toons to try and fix herself. She’s the result of Susie Campbell, Alice Angel’s voice actor, being sacrificed and toon-ified. She’s one of the main antagonists of BatIM and a minor antagonist in BatDR. Fandom’s biggest gripe with her is that she took our friend Boris, mutated him, and made him attack Henry. :(  Very rude. Her obsession with being perfect gives her a bit of a crazy vibe, but make no mistake, she’s cruel for fun too. 

• • •

Boris (also called Buddy Boris because of one of the books, I think)

Boris the wolf is Henry’s friend in BatIM who gets kidnapped and ultimately killed. Of the main trio (Bendy, Alice, Boris), he’s the only one on-model. Without having played/watched Boris’s game, I don’t have much to say about him other than he’s a very good boy. Silly, helpful, nice to Henry, scared of “Bendy.” My understanding is that someone named Buddy was sacrificed and toon-ified to become him. Fandom gets pretty creative with Boris, imo, and I usually treat the three of them like siblings and give him a voice even though he doesn’t speak in the game. 

• • • 

Edgar, Charley, and Barley (The Striker, The Piper, The Fisher)

The Butcher Gang! They’re some of the only other named toons that exist, and I personally like them a lot. The trio have been mutilated and copied a lot of times over. They’re recurring enemies you have to fight in both BatIM and BatDR, though more so the former. It’s unclear who, if anyone, was sacrificed to make them. In BatDR, we find out about a potential fourth member, Carley (The Slicer), who’s a ghost girl. 

• • •

Notable Employees: 

Sammy Lawerence: He becomes a cultish inky man who calls the Ink Demon his lord, and is a minor antagonist in BatIM. He was the music director in life and comes across through his tapes as a no-nonsense perfectionist who is extremely Done with some of his coworkers. I’ve always thought of him as long-suffering, sarcastic, and always just on the verge of strangling someone. They did him so dirty in BatDR, lol.

Susie Campbell: Alice Angel’s voice actor who was eventually replaced. Pretty self-centered and dedicated to her role, from what I got from her tapes. I don’t actually know much more about her than that, as far as canon goes. 

Norman Polk: He was the studio’s projectionist and then became The Projectionist (I love his design). He’s a minor antagonist in BatIM who roams one particular floor that’s laid out like a maze before having his head ripped off later by “Bendy.” Bit of an eavesdropper in life. Can’t talk but sure does make some heart-stopping screeches! 

Wally Franks: The iconic “I’m outta here!” line comes from Wally (I throw it in to fics whenever I can). He was a janitor/handman, and I believe he escaped the studio unscathed. 

Allison Pendle: She replaced Susie as Alice Angel’s voice actor and inspired Joey to be a better person (His “be a better person” bit that he talks about in BatDR doesn’t actually portray him in that much better of a light). She becomes Allison Angel in the inky world, who is an ally to Henry in BatIM (mostly; a lot of us had mixed feelings on her to start with). She has a machete, which is cool. 

Thomas Connor: I think he actually worked for Gent technically, but he’s important because he was toon-ified into Tom, a Boris clone. Tom is mute, and he and Allison are a team in BatIM and BatDR. He’s also got a prosthetic arm. 

Shawn Flynn: A toymaker in the studio who also escaped unscathed. He’s in a medium-amount of fics because he’s voiced by jacksepticeye he was one of the handful of names we got in BatIM and we needed all the employees we could get, lol.

• • •

The Searchers

Faceless, moaning ink people who lack legs and drag themselves around after the player character. Recurring enemy in BatIM, but I think I only remember them in one place in BatDR. 

• • •

The Lost Ones

Ink people with glowing eyes. In BatIM, they were a group of mostly mute, shivering victims. Very tragic, big gut-punch moment. In BatDR, some have names and personalities and talk! Most of them are hostile, which I’m not a huge fan of, but it’s fine. The two notable Lost Ones are Porter, who gives you a teleporting ability and is a silly dude, and Heidi, who helps you get through a locked door after you play hide and seek with her. 

• • •

Audrey Drew

The player character in BatDR, Audrey gets dragged into the inky realm and has to survive and escape (this is the same premise as BatIM). She’s a young adult who’s an animator for the company that bought Joey Drew Studios and the Bendy cartoons after Joey’s death. She’s got a good sense of humor when she’s not understandably panicking about being dragged into a whole new world, she’s friendly and willing to trust others, and she is not happy about the Ink Demon stalking her. She’s even less happy to find out she’s not human! Joey’s memory shows up and tells her that she was created by the Ink Machine by the real Joey Drew to be his daughter. It’s established that she doesn’t remember most of her childhood or her parents, though I personally am unclear as to what happened. Joey only died about a year before the events of BatDR, so it wasn’t like he died when she was a little kid. How or why did she forget him? I don’t know. 

Anyway, Audrey obtains some cool powers during her journey, most notably Flow (a teleporting ability gifted to her by Porter). Her legs get ripped off in the final battle, and as a result, when the Ink Demon tries to convince her to give up, she surrenders and they become one. Soon after, she takes control of their body and ultimately resets the cycle, undoing everything. The last we see of her is her back in the human world with little Bendy. 

• • •

Wilson Arch

I hate him, he’s creepy. He tricks Audrey into helping him set up the Ink Machine before dragging her into the inky realm. He (falsely) claims to have defeated the Ink Demon and acts as the ruler of that world. He’s also the son of the guy who bought Joey Drew Studios. We find out toward the end that he wants to yoink Audrey’s soul and use it to bring his OC to life, lol. Instead, he ends up getting torn apart and becoming the new toon himself before Audrey and the Ink Demon sort of tag-team kill him. 

• • •

The Keepers

Monstrous toons created by Wilson who slither around and are much faster than they look. They talk slow and glitchy, like Daleks from Doctor Who. They work for Wilson and actively hinder Audrey several times during her adventure. 

• • •

The Signal Towers

Not a character but important to the lore of BatDR and deserving of a mention. They kinda look like plasma balls without the shell and have colored electricity zapping around them. They’re set up around Wilson’s headquarters, the Gent building and his retreat, to keep the Ink Demon out. They also actively hinder ink-related powers, like Flow. 

• • •

The Basics of the Main Games: 

Bendy and the Ink Machine

You play as Henry, who received a letter from his old pal Joey asking him to come back to the old studio. After turning on the Ink Machine, he progressively ends up deeper and deeper in the studio even as he tries to escape. He has to fight for his life against a multitude of enemies, ranging from intelligent to mindless. If he dies, he travels through an inky tunnel full of voices until he pops back up, alive. This game has my favorite mechanic. In Chapter 3: “Bendy” roams around and chases Henry if he spots you, and it was terrifying to play and I loved that. After  solving puzzles and completing fetch quests for Twisted Alice, Henry ends up in a final confrontation with “Bendy,” and if he makes it through the boss fight, he plays a reel with The End written on it, ending the loop and maybe killing “Bendy.” That doesn’t really matter, though, because Henry then finds himself in Joey Drew’s home, where a much older Joey rambles at him (Henry totally deserved to punch him), before Joey sends Henry through the front door and right back into the studio. It reveals Henry is stuck in an parallel dimension featuring an endless loop of him arriving to the fake studio, turning on the Ink Machine, fighting those same enemies, solving those same puzzles, going on those same fetch quests, all to make it to the same boss battle, where upon winning, he will start it all over again. 

It makes my heart hurt for him just to think about it. 

• • •

Bendy and the Dark Revival 

You play as Audrey, an animator who’s staying at work late to finish up some scenes. On her way to get coffee, she encounters Wilson, which ultimately leads to her being dragged into the inky realm. Upon waking up, she has to fight for her life against a variety of enemies. She meets some friendlies, too, like Allison who has forgotten she’s Allison, Porter, and baby Bendy. Over the course of her journey, she learns more about the state of the studio and its employees and how everything fell apart. She also meets Henry, who’s imprisoned in the Gent building with a few others. At the end, she finds out the reason Wilson brought her to this world: to serve as some soul fuel for him to create a new god-like toon to replace the Ink Demon, kinda. Obviously not down for that, she struggles and Wilson ends up being fuel in her place. She has to fight the spider monkey abomination thing with Wilson’s head sticking out of the middle (it’s… delightful). Before she can bring it down, it tears her legs off. The Ink Demon intervenes before she can be killed, destroying the monster as Audrey bleeds out. He convinces her to join him in the darkness and they become Beast Bendy, who is very large. Joey shows up with the The End tape. Beast Bendy promptly kills Joey’s memory (not sure if that’s a permanent thing or what) before Audrey takes control. Henry, who among others has been freed by Allison, gives her Norman's projector head to play the The End tape from BatIM on, and by playing it, she resets the cycle once again. 

I have yet to write a BatDR fic where she actually resets the cycle. I’m not a fan of that, tbh. 

• • •

And those are the basics! I think once you know the characters and the general idea of the main games, you’d be able to adjust pretty quickly to fic, if that’s your goal. Especially since a lot of fics do use their own not-canon-compliant rules. If you have questions about anything I mentioned or about things I didn’t mention, I’d be happy to try and answer them. Like I said, I don’t know the full story, having only played/watched a fraction of the available material. But only knowing BatIM/BatDR has gotten me this far, haha! I do hope this helped you understand this fandom at least a little more, friend! I promise, it’s a fun playground we’ve got here!

[figure-that]

Troy Watts

Troy WATTS I guess this is name I was dating this guy for 4 years & he lied about everything. I mean he liked to express himself a lot to me but 99% of the time he was lying. I mean I tried to make it work made a lot of changes within but then when I met his creepy wife because of all the harassment she did because of her husband Troy Watts not wanting her. She ran me off and I definitely ran away fast. Idk but she definitely reminds me of Fred from courage the cowardly dog. Is it my fault that ur vagina is dead Crystal Watts? How can u get mad @ me for making your man happy? I never met a woman I mean I never met a wife who wants another woman to make her husband happy & cry about it. Idk what was this guy's intentions but I definitely glad I Departed. I mean I was holding so much in I mean yes he was giving me what I want but I met him as the guy he is and that is a trick. I can't say John because he became controlling and toxic like a narcissist. Yes he would gossip so much like a female I had to question him and ask him do you ever gossip about me. The other girl in the picture supposed to be his cousin but he gossip so much when it comes to his store The Nipsey's Corner. He told me that she steals and her family was still money from him but he would never mention nothing to them about it. I would even have his wife on the phone Tell Troy have his so-called family wasn't doing nothing but using him. As you can see in the picture she is all smiles but believe it it's fake. I mean the bags under her eyes I just knew I would not last in a secret relationship with her husband because I did not want to look like her. How do you supposed to be in your 40s but look like you're in your 80s? Troy is Crystal your wife or your mother? See the thing is I am too honest for Troy Watts he is confused and think like the weave in his head. He was so abusive physically just because of me being honest. Why send your ugly wife I mean you're ugly dead looking wife in your confused I don't know if I want to be a man or a woman cousin to come jump me when you know I don't mind fighting but why I can't be one-on-one? You send people to my house when you know I know everything about you everything when it comes to your house your properties and even your store. I am going to let this go that's why I put this out on the blog Troy Watts you are the misery and I will not ever in life become your company. I mean I was stupid in love but I knew I was done when I seen how you were so open even open enough to be on a gay app looking for a man. I do not ever want to be with a Gemini. June 6. The guy I was talking to before made a fake page about me saying that I have AIDS. I mentioned this to Troy Watts and then he did the same thing made a fake page and put it on Facebook saying that I have AIDS. Guess what his birthday is June 6th also. Troy Watts even mention how is friend Rick like to get his ass ate. That even made it weird for me because I'm like why are y'all having conversations about getting your ass ate. But I'm sure that's what his wife do eat his ass because she's always in it. I will never forget when I was in his black Cadillac truck getting my p**** ate on the grand opening of his store. The grand open of his store was him and his wife anniversary. When she seen me and found out what we was doing she had a mental breakdown in front of his family and customers. I knew the end that she was washed up and desperate and the only way she was accept love for someone to cheat on her like her husband does now. Everybody either love or learn and in this situation I have learned my lesson. Never to trust a married man especially like the confused one. Mentally Troy is ill. Physically he is living off his wife name that's the only way he is making it. When I told him I was going to start a business he told me to find a Caucasian person for the face that's the only way my business would grow. Time will tell but this guy know I was silent and the greatest to him but on top of that God know how true my love was for this man.

[helltalia-inc]

RULES + LIST OF CHALLENGES

RULES 

1. Pick a challenge from the List of Challenges;

2. Create whatever you want, as you want;

3. Use the tag #helltalia-inc and @ with the name of the page;

4. And don’t forget to have fun!

Not that hard, right?

 More info:

· There are no language barriers here, so feel free to use the language that you feel the most comfortable to express yourself;

· Bad behavior will not be tolerated;

· Feel free to use any characters and any ships;

· Take attention to tag your ships, any warming or triggering content;

· And for the last, but not least… support the “CONTENT CREATORS”!

 LIST OF CHALLENGES

(This list will be updated occasionally. Feel free to search for the number of the challenges, for example like #1, or #20, I made sure to tag every work with the number of the challenge. So, if you want to see the works related to each challenge, you just have to search in the page by the number. And, of course, feel free to use the challenges to inspire your future works.)

 1. Favorite Character

2. Egg Themed

3. Books + Favorite Trio

4. Your living country + his national flower

5. Crossing the line with the Star Wars Universe

6. Pajama Party + Female Characters Only

7. Revenge the Hetavision

8. Wedding dress

9. Child’s Day

10. Recycle, Reduce, Reutilize

11. Nordics appreciation challenge

12. LGBT Respect Day

13. “If you meant it, kiss me”

(Just to record it: starting from here, it was added as option, the “challenge quote”) 

14. National Animal + The Country where you live / “No matter where I go, my heart will always be yours”

15. Healthy Food Habits/ “But loving you had consequences”

16. World Day of Friendship/ “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone had good taste.”

17. REVENGE FIFATALIA/ “I’m so sick of lying. I have to tell you…”

18. ROCK IN HETALIA / “the music is the language of feelings”

19. Stuck on a desert island/ “I’m so sorry I kissed you, my mouth just slipped”  

20. ICE CREAM AND WATERMELON/ ”I wouldn’t do that if I were you”  

21. Pirate and Mermaids AU/ “That’s the summer when we first met”  

22. Aquarium park / “It is easier to pretend we are strong; it is much harder to admit we are weak; a true friend, by loving every part of us, teaches us to love our weaknesses”

23. Crossover with one of your favorite movies / “The two of us, we’re the best kind of disaster. Apples and oranges. Well, more like apples and machetes.”

24. Alice in the Wonderland AU / “I really did think you were cute when you were jealous.”

25. Improvised Olympic Games out of Season/ “I’d find you whenever you were.”

26. Ancients Countries Appreciation Challenge / “Chaos isn’t meant to be understood”

27. University AU / “Never say “Goodbye””

28. Color’ (or body or personality) swap / “Puns are the highest form of literature.”

29. Crossover with Sesame Street or The Muppets / “I’ve missed you. But it seems like you’re not happy to see me.”

30. Alter Ego AU / “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have even come here tonight.”

31. Your favorite writer + his respective nation / “I wanted to end the world, but I’ll settle for ending yours.”

32. Candle in the dark / “I’m pregnant”

33. Orchestra AU / “You can run, but you can’t escape”

34. Trapped in a maze / “Can you keep a secret?”

35. Wingtalia / “Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off”

36. Space, stars, moon / “You’re better than you think.”

37. Villain AU / “I don’t want to sleep alone today. Will you sleep with me?”

38. African nations / “You promised that we would always be together… now, how I’m supposed to live without you?”

39. Love potion / "We didn't realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun"

40. Treasure hunt / “The only thing you’re good at is fake crying”

41. Asian nations / “You can see me?”

42. National desert / “Nice try. Better luck next time”

43. Death note AU / “How long will you keep me waiting?”

44. Kabedon / “What is your problem?”  

45. Siblings / “Don’t just say nice things, give me advice.”

46. The 7 deadly sins / “Take that stupid grin off your face”

47. Reincarnation AU / “We have only one chance at life. And I want to live a life with no regrets.”

48. Autumn / “You said I could do whatever I wanted.”

49. Red apple / “I want to crush anyone who dares to touch you. I want to hide you, monopolize you.”

50. Hot chocolate / “It’s too late now.”

51. Tarot Cards / “Take your hands off of me.”

52. Summon Demons /”Have I done something wrong?”

53. Ouija / “That’s the one thing I regret the most in my life.”

54. Underworld / “If you want, we could swap secrets.”

55. Supernatural creatures / “Close your eyes and listen carefully.”

56. Hunter / “Even though it isn’t a big deal now, it will be later.”

57. Shadow / “You helped me become who I am.”

58. Bloody sunset / “If you took well care of it from the beginning, then none of this would’ve happened.”

59. Ghost mansion / ”What the hell do you want from me?”

60. Mysterious box / “It’s not extreme, it’s the most effective way.”

61. Scream / “What makes you think I’ve changed?”

62. Evil laugh / “I thought I knew you better than this...”

63. Superstition / “There are times when it’s dangerous to approach something or someone when you don’t have sufficient knowledge about them.”

64. Roses / ”My understanding is that faith is something that one builds up through actions.”

65. Destiny / “I don’t want to live like that.”

66. Coincidence / “Growth always follows hardship.”

67. Broken heart / “They want me to find happiness more than anyone else.”

68. The wedding day / “You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

69. Slow dance / “It’s better to spend the rest of my lifetime alone, than being stupid and crying over someone who broke my trust.”

70. By my side / “Time flew by.”

71. Holding hands / “I gave you a chance to pretend that nothing happened.”

72. Friendzone / “I won’t run away this time.”

72. Rejection / “Sorry, I let my emotions get the best of me.”

73. Forever alone / “If they’re your friends, they’ll understand and be happy for you. Just like how you were for them.”

74. BDSM / “Whatever you choose, I’ll respect your decision.”

75. Dirty talking / “You’re just taking advantage of the people around you.”

76. Love letter / “Money and Status... you’re nothing without those things.”

77. First love / “Seeing you happy means the world to me.”

78. First time / “Friendship isn’t about whom you have known the longest, it’s about who came and never left.”

79. Crush / “I’m in a threesome with anxiety and depression.”

80. Decorations / “Just fantasizing about it isn’t enough for me.”

81. Presents / “You just have to work hard to turn it into a reality.”

82. Traditions / “Anger cannot be dishonest.”

83. Family Dinner / “Relationships are like glass, sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than trying to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

84. Friends / “I’m glad I at least left an impression on you. Though apparently, it’s a negative one.”

85. Figure skating / “The mirror is my best friend because when I cry it doesn’t laugh.”

86. Snowboard / “The saddest people have the brightest smile.”

87. Ski / “I don’t think we wasted a single second.”

88. Hockey / “I wish I knew I was in the good old days before they became the good old days.”

89. Snow globe / “Those who are already dead don’t care about those who are still alive.”

90. Acts of kindness / “People only listen and believe in what they think is entertaining.”

91. Aurora Borealis / “If this is for the best.”

92. Church bell / “The more envy you show, the worse you look.”

93. The little match girl / “Whatever you do, I’ll never be disappointed in you.”

94. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star / “When people brag so openly about their past, if often means, that they have nothing to brag about now.”

95. Heart made of ice / “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

96. Message on a bottle / “I never truly fell in love with anyone.”

97. Bubbles / “This is all very suspicious... extremely suspicious.”

98. End of the world / “I was afraid kindness would make me weak.”

99. Halloween dolls / “No hard feelings but I hate you.”

100. Redemption / “I should apologize for this. But I won’t.”

101. Femme fatale / “Do you think you can handle it?”

102. (more challenges will be added eventually. If you want, send your challenge’ suggestions to the Ask Box)

 Note: Most of the quotes aren’t mine and have no source.

[dweetwise]

Felix and Ace having met before. Ace won a grand prize at the table and got an executive suite. Though his next door neighbor was Felix who was here on a business meeting to design a similar casino. (I am sorry I love imagining people meeting people before the fog)

this isn’t exactly what you asked for buuuut i needed to write something for waiter ace and you blessed me with this ask uwu also if you didn’t want a ship i’m sorry but that’s what i assumed! warning for closeted felix and mentions of the s3x but nothing nsfw actually happens

word count: 1860

Felix X Ace: Strictly Business

Felix wasn’t exactly prepared for the fog to transport him into another dimension. He'd read some theories, sure, and he'd seen his father disappear into thin air all those years ago, but to experience it first-hand was another thing entirely.

He also didn't expect the world in question to be controlled by an eldritch being that forced its captured victims into a gruesome game of hide and seek, killing and resurrecting him and others at will.

But he sure as hell didn't expect to come face to face with the biggest mistake of his life.

It takes Felix a minute to recognize the man, the small camp having so many new faces and names to memorize and they’re all speaking over each other—it's a lot to take in. But then he spots a familiar face, and everything the ginger woman is trying to explain to him becomes white noise as the man he focuses on laughs at something a boy in a beanie says.

Felix’s thoughts drift back to what feels like a lifetime ago, when he was on a business trip in Austria, staying at a luxurious casino. 

Him and a couple of other junior architects were invited to design an expansion to the building, and the best idea would be hired. Felix hated competition, he hated having to work on the field, and he hated the lavish, over-the-top style of the casino. But he was only starting to get his name out there, and couldn't afford to turn down any opportunities—if he played his cards right, this could be his stepping stone into more high-profile projects. Maybe he'd get to design an entire casino next time, without the twenty fake fountains and fuck-awful gold trims.

They were waited on like VIP:s while attending meetings in lavish conference rooms and bullshit marketing presentations about the brand. It was basically an all-inclusive stay, but Felix still despised it. He would have given anything to skip the unnecessary pleasantries and stay at home to draw the designs in peace.

He hated it right up until one of the waiters serving their mid-presentation coffees caught him suppressing a yawn and gave him a cheeky wink and a smirk. Felix had blinked, thinking he imagined it, but the more he kept staring, the more the waiter's smile seemed to widen.

Felix wasn't gay, but being an architect, he could appreciate aesthetically pleasing things in life. Like the waiter's symmetrical face, high cheekbones and good hairline. And eyes that sparkled with mischief even while he was outwardly completely professional.

And the way his work pants clung to his perky ass.

The waiter was suddenly a hundred times more interesting to him than the entire project. The project was predictable, and Felix once again found himself drawn to the unknown.

It wasn't a challenge to get the man's attention. He only had to linger behind after a dinner, and soon enough, there was a gloved hand brushing fleetingly against his neck as the man collected his plate. With the rest of the group having moved on, and Felix having had more than a few drinks, he'd asked if there was any possibility for room service. He was rewarded a lopsided grin and warm eyes shimmering with promise.

He always was much smoother when drunk off his ass.

He doesn't even remember what he'd designed by the end of his five-day-stay in the casino. He only remembers fucking the cute waiter against the tacky gold-trimmed headboard of the king-sized bed in his suite. And in the hot tub. And in a supply closet. It was a long week, okay?

His companion was named Luca. He'd only been working in the casino for a few months and was thinking of moving back to Italy, not being a fan of gambling or the over-the-top establishment. He had a charming accent and only spoke a couple of words of German, forcing Felix to use his own shaky English.

It was a shallow thing. Felix tried to keep his personal life private, and he definitely left out the part where he had a girlfriend back home. He'd ended up exaggerating his professional success, but wasn’t that what people did? He was just trying to make a good impression, 

After the week, Felix never talked to the other man again. He got home, unpacked his bags, and freaked out. He didn't even want to think about how unprofessional he'd been and how risky it was.

And definitely not about how much he'd enjoyed it.

The more he tried suppressing the thoughts, the more insistent they got. His brain was periodically invaded by images of warm brown eyes, expressive lips twisting into a hundred different smiles, and a laugh resonating in his ear, rich like his favorite double-roast coffee. The memories had haunted him for close to a decade, and he thought he'd finally gotten past them, ready to be a good father that had his shit together.

But here he is, seeing the same brown eyes light up with the same carefree smile and the sound of the same damn laugh echoing through the air and all the memories come flooding back.

The woman next to him hollers something to the group, and the familiar face looks his way. Even with the now grey hair and added wrinkles, Felix still finds himself just as transfixed as he'd been ten years ago.

He's introduced to the group, but he only really remembers one name and the overwhelming sense of wrongness that follows it; Ace. The revelation isn’t made any easier when he notices there isn't even a flicker of recognition in the eyes he remembers so fondly.

In the following couple of trials, Felix is only disappointed further. “Ace” doesn’t have an Italian accent anymore, in fact Felix catches him instead saying something in Spanish to the woman in a blazer. He’s also very keen on gambling, and the shiny satin smoker jacket he wears in one trial could have been straight from the tacky casino they met in. Was anything he told Felix about himself true?

It takes him a while to confront the man, debating back and forth inside his head. All of his focus should be on finding his father, and he needs to keep these people at arm’s length. Ace not remembering him is the best possible outcome of their brief past together, he tries to rationalize.

But in the end, curiosity wins over rationality, and when the opportunity presents itself, Felix is unable to resist.

“You really don't remember me, do you?” Felix asks, alone in the camp until Ace returns from a trial. The man pauses, eyebrows pinching together in confusion “I didn't leave you to die on hook, did I?” Ace asks. “That happens sometimes.” “No, I mean back in the other world,” Felix explains. “We've… met?” Ace asks.

Well. If that's what you want to call it.

“Yes,” Felix simply says and immediately, Ace cringes. “I'm sorry?” he offers. “Excuse me?” “I can count on one hand the people I've encountered who remember me fondly. There's a 99% chance you hate my guts, so I figured I'd get it over with quickly," Ace explains, seeming a little wary. “I don't hate you, I just can't believe you'd forget and… lie.” “Oh, I… I do that. Did—whatever. Nothing personal,” Ace shrugs. “I really don’t remember you, sorry.” “Casino in Vienna. 2011. I stayed at the hotel for a week. You were a waiter. You said your name was Luca. We—” Felix hesitates. “…'met'.” 

Multiple times on multiple surfaces.

“Vienna, huh? Hmm... Oh!” Ace's face suddenly lights up. “You were one of the suits, right? Some kind of… lawyer?” "Architect,” Felix corrects, a little miffed. “Same deal,” Ace dismisses with a wave of his hand. “So, are you still neck-deep in the closet?” “What?” Felix recoils. “That's—I'm not gay. It was a one-time-thing.” “That would be a yes,” Ace muses, almost as to himself. “So you do remember? All of it?” Felix prods. “Guess so. What, you want a repeat performance?” Ace asks, raising an eyebrow. “No! I just…” Felix falters. 

‘Wanted to make sure you didn't forget me because I’ve been thinking about you for the past ten years’? No way he’s admitting to any of that, so he puts on his business face.

“Wanted to come clean. So we're on the same page. To avoid any awkwardness,” Felix says instead, and it’s definitely not as smooth as he would have liked. “Right…” Ace says, regarding him skeptically.

There's a few seconds of extremely awkward silence while Ace just stares at him and Felix looks into the fire, trying to keep his face neutral and not sweat bullets. Eventually Ace sighs.

“Look, can I give you some friendly advice?” he asks. “I… I guess so," Felix says, a little confused. “Drop the act,” Ace says, looking him dead in the eye. “The manly man, excited father, respectable lawyer—” “Architect,” Felix, again, corrects in annoyance. “—suit guy thing, whatever. It's not going to serve you any purpose in here. These people see right through any bullshit, trust me on that one,” Ace adds with a knowing smile that Felix has never seen before.

He doesn't have any time to think of a reply before they're interrupted, the girl with a beanie cussing up a storm while a young guy in a sailor uniform sits down in front of Ace expectantly and the man cracks a joke and immediately starts tending to the bloody gash in the kid's shoulder.

The wound is bleeding heavily but the duo keeps chatting without a care in the world. Felix remembers he got a gauze roll from the… blood web?—and he rifles through his meager belongings before approaching the two.

“You… um,” Felix stammers, holding out the item to Ace. “Would this help?” “Cool!" the teen chirps while Ace takes the offered item silently, regarding Felix with an unreadable expression. "Thanks—uhh, what was your name again?" the kid grins sheepishly. “Felix,” he says. “And… yours?” he asks, swallowing his pride and now hesitantly curious to learn more about his companions. “I'm Steve! This is Ace, and the moping bitch over there is Nea!” Steve exclaims with a bright smile that shows his bloodied teeth. “Dude, fuck off!" the girl, Nea, calls. “Hey Felix, anyone teach you how to use a flashlight yet?" “No, not really," Felix confesses, cautiously approaching the girl. “I understand the need for tools and medical supplies, but… what would you use a torch for?” ------------------ “So how's the new guy holding up?” Steve asks. Ace looks over to where Felix is sitting with Nea. “Allvarligt—förstår du mig inte?” Nea has apparently moved on from flashlight training to Swedish lessons. “For the last time, your Swedish sounds like gibberish to me," Felix explains. "Just because the languages are related—" “Sheiße,” Nea interrupts with a grin, moving to swear in German. “A multilingual genius, I see,” Felix deadpans. “He's learning,” Ace says, hiding his own hopeful smile behind the fluffy hair of the boy he's patching up.

(nea’s line: “seriously, you don’t understand me?”) i’m not 100% happy w this fic, esp since it’s about a new character but it’s a start at least! i also really wanted to throw in a “sure you’re hot but you were so boring i forgot all about you” line but it didn’t fit and now you just have to imagine that’s what ace was thinking

[purplesurveys]

1183

survey by xflirtykaosx

Alphabetti Spaghetti (1/3)

And we will fall in love with shooting stars. - A

Have you ever seen an Aardvark? I don’t think so.

Were you ever abandoned in a public place as a child? Where? Abandoned is a pretty harsh word lol. My parents did like playing pranks on me and hide whenever I’d get distracted at the grocery or department store. They’d let me get nervous or even tear up for a bit until showing up again.

What accent do you have? I guess just your standard Filipino English accent that’s common among people who were able to take up English studies. I don’t really know how to describe it.

Is there someone in your family addicted to something? What is it? I don’t think so.

Have you ever been under general anaesthetic? What were you having done? I think so? When I had a tooth extraction done on me two years ago I was told I was going to be injected with anaesthesia, but I didn’t feel as if anything changed throughout the procedure. Either my dentist told me fake news lol or he’s just really good at his job for me to not notice anything.

How do you show the ones you love affection? It depends on the person. Around my friends, I know I’ve had taken a liking to them once I start getting especially talkative with them. For people I have even deeper relationships with, I like...buying them gifts, I guess. Getting them things that remind me of them. I would also bend over backwards to do nice deeds for them, like driving them to their destination even if I find it far.

Are you more passive or aggressive? I tend to be very passive aggressive in the way I deal with things.

Do you like the band Aha!? Not in particular.

Do you know anyone called Aidan? What are they like? Nope.

Ever heard of the band Ajax? No but I know that’s a brand of like cleaner or something. That’s close enough to ‘band’ haha.

Do you know anyone called Akash? I don’t either.

Do the sound of fire alarms scare you? They would obviously be scary if it rang for a real reason. Who wouldn’t freak out over a fire?

Do you live in America? If so, which state? If visited, where'd you go? No, and I’ve never visited either. I’d love to take a trip to cities like New York, New Orleans, Portland, and Chicago one of these days.

Have you ever had an ant infestation in your house? Only when there’s food left out accidentally.

Aora - did I spell that correctly? I don’t even know what you’re referring to, so I can’t tell you if you’ve spelled whatever it is right.

Do you have a preference in Apple? What type do you prefer? I don’t quite get this question - like a preference within Apple products? I mean, a phone and a laptop are essentials for me, and generally I do prefer having an iPhone and Macbook over other brands; but I can live without an iPad, an Apple Watch, iMac, Apple Pen, etc...if this is what you mean.

Are you an Aquarian? Is anyone in your family/your partner/best friend? ...You mean Aquarius? No. I don’t believe in astrology nor pay attention to zodiac signs either, so I wouldn’t be able to name Aquariuses that I know right off the bat.

Have you ever worn any type of armor? Which type? I don’t think I’ve ever had to, no.

Do you use the word ass a lot? Kinda, but it’s usually part of a longer word, i.e. asshole, asshat, deadass, etc.

Have you or your family had an attorney? What for? Not to my knowledge.

Is your car/family’s car an automatic gear or manual? Automatic.

Are you interested in aviation, piloting and aircrafts? Just the slightest bit. I would love to learn how to fly a plane, and I would be willing to pay for lessons. It’s just the type of activity that’s super hard to squeeze into an already-hectic schedule of mine.

What was the last award you recieved for? A academic distinction in college.

Axl Rose - like or dislike? Like, but I’m nowhere near a passionate fan. I just don’t have any reasons to actively dislike him.

Do you like air being spelt ayre or ayer in rap or hiphop or is it nasty? I don’t care.

Is the sky outside Azure? If not, what shade is it? No, it’s pitch black.

Belle amour (we've been here before). - B

Do you call anyone baby? Is it sweet or an overrated name for affection? Just my dogs. I find it sweet; it’s my preferred term of endearment if in a relationship.

Bby - does this shortened version bug you? No; my friends and I use this with each other.

Do you know what BC in terms of time stands for? Before Christ, but I prefer using BCE.

BDf - For or against? I don’t know what this is referring to.

Do you prefer beach breaks, city breaks or winter breaks? Why? Beach breaks. Winter break is an immediate cross-out since we don’t even have winter; and I already live and work in an urban area as it is. Beaches are my way to go if I want to escape life for a bit and completely unwind.

Do you spell out boyfriend properly or put bf in texts/online? I can use either depending on what I feel like typing out. It’s not that serious haha.

Do you know what bg is short for? Upon reading this question I immediately thought ‘background,’ but if this question had another meaning in mind I wouldn’t be aware of it.

Do you know anyone with the last name Bhays? No.

Have you ever been bird watching? What did you see? No, doesn’t sound like my kind of hobby.

Do you like Bjork? Not in particular, but just like the Axl Rose question I don’t have anything against her either.

What does this read: bk 2moz miss u lyk fk. Doesn't this text speak annoy? No one types like this anymore at least among people I know, but I imagine it would lowkey bother me a bit.

Do you like BMWs? They’re whatever. I don’t pay attention to cars much.

What is the nearest book to you called? How many times have you read it? There aren’t any books here up on the rooftop.

BnQ - gone there? What did you buy? Idk what that is.

Are you more brainy or brave? I wanna say brainy, if anything? I’m pretty jumpy lol.

Did you like the BSBs (Backstreet Boys) as a kid? How about now? No, I’m a little too young for that generation of artists and groups.

Burgers, Hot Dogs or Salads at a Barbecue? We don’t really practice ~barbecues~ here. But at Filipino parties I would usually flock to lumpia and fried chicken, hehe.

Do you have a Byro? No, because I also don’t know what that is.

Cold eyes and filthy lies all leave me petrified. - C

Do you have a Cactus (Cacti)? No, I don’t like plans.

Do you know what a CCTV is? Yes...?

How many CDs are in the room you are currently in? None where I am right now but I have all of Beyoncé’s albums save for Lemonade in my bedroom. I also have Paramore’s self-titled album and Hayley Williams’ Petals For Armor. My CD collection is about to experience a revival because of BTS, though. My plan to get all versions of all their albums is rock solid, lmao.

What's your favourite cereal brand? Cookie Crisps.

Do you like children's TV shows still? Which one(s)? I’ll revisit an episode or two of shows I watched as a kid at a given time for old times’ sake, but I don’t regularly watch children’s TV shows anymore. I haven’t for a very long time.

Cinnamon - Yum or Yuck? I’m actually kind of in the middle about it. I feel like too many desserts have been banking on cinnamon, so the taste of it can be a little tiring. It’s delicious if I haven’t had it for a while, though.

Do you know anyone with the initials and or name CJ? Quite the opposite; I know PLENTY of JCs, even my sister is one. I know one or two CJs but that’s it.

Have you ever met a self professed clairvoyant? What did they do/say? No.

Do you watch CNN News? What's your prefered news channel/show? I don’t tune into the channel but every once in a while I will encounter a CNN link on social media that I’d actually click on and read through. As for preferred news sources, I don’t have one as there are matters to criticize about 99% of them lol; but I am most likely to trust articles I from AP or Reuters. Just things you pick up as a journalism student. 

How many cousins do you have? I have 9 first cousins. I lose count by the time I try to go beyond that since I don’t even know all of my dad’s cousins, which makes it hard to track who my second cousins are.

Do you still draw with crayons? When was the last time you did? Drew what? I don’t remember anymore.

Do you know what a CSS feed is? What is it? I’m familiar with the term but never bothered to learn about what it is.

Do you like cycling/biking? What type of bike do you have? ...I don’t even know how to ride a bike.

Do you really like it, is it is it wicked. - D

What is the most dangerous animal you've petted/held? I can’t decide between snake or crocodile.

Do you like Death Metal? If so, which band(s)? I wouldn’t say I do.

Did you ever keep a diary/journal? I did a million attempts to keep a diary when I was younger, but I was never able to keep up with any of them and I ended up having 4598358395 notebooks with one or two entries each at most. Having a Tumblr page for surveys has so far been my most successful streak at keeping some type of journal.

Do you prefer small, medium, large or no dogs? I prefer all dogs.

Do you know what DP stands for in porn? Yes.

Have you ever dressed up as a celebrity for a party/Halloween? I went as my favorite female wrestler once. I wouldn’t strictly call her a celebrity, but she’s a very well-known personality in the wrestling industry so she’s popular in that right.

DS or Wii? Why? Wii. I was able to make more memories with it.

Does dust make you sneeze or cough? Sneeze, usually.

How many DVDs do you have all together? Idk, I don’t buy DVDs anymore.

Do you dye your hair regularly, sometimes or never? I’ve never done it.

Every love lies sometimes . . . - E

What's something you refuse to eat? Most fruits.

Don't you think the word ebb is so pretty? I’m neutral about it. I don’t use it a lot.

Do you like Chocolate Eclairs? I love eclairs in general haha. Chocolate eclairs in particular sound delicious.

Ever tried edible paper? Yeah, with the White Rabbit candy.

Eevee - pretty name or too Pokemon-y? Definitely very Pokemon-y. 

Do you sometimes mix up the spellings/meanings of affection and defection? Erm, no? They have completely different spellings and meanings, so I personally have never switched them up.

Do you have a big ego, low self esteem or somewhere in between? I think I’m somewhere in between. I’m insecure about some things about myself, but I don’t really put myself down 24/7. I feel like that would put such a strain on my mental health, which I certainly would never need.

What Element does your starsign fall under? I think earth? My co-workers were just discussing this last Friday, but I couldn’t really butt in since I can’t bring myself to care about astrology. I know they mentioned Taurus being an earth sign though.

Do you show your emotions easily and freely or hide them? Depends...I can do either depending on the situation.

What is your favourite form of entertainment? Korean reality shows are quickly becoming a favorite of mine at the moment. I also like compilation videos on YouTube.

What will they write on your epitaph? I’ve honestly hadn’t put much thought into this yet, and I don’t plan to anytime soon. It just seems like a super grave thing to think about lol.

Estimate/guess what number we are on now? Maybe 60s or 70s?

Do you know basic social etiquette? I mean etiquette will always differ per country or culture, so what is basic in other countries might not be here, and vice versa. I think it’s hard to measure.

Does your country use the Euro, Great British Pound, Dollar or other? Other.

Do you still get excited on Christmas Eve? Yes. Mostly for the free food and the opportunity to see relatives I really only ever see every December 24.

What animal/creature that is extinct do you wish wasn't? Those that went extinct from human activity.

What colour eyes do your parents have? Black/dark brown.

[mersuperwholocked-lowlife]

Prompt List

So, I decided to make an official prompt list. So, when I open requests, you can use a prompt from here, or just send me whatever you want. You can check out what I write before

1). “This is who I am, I know I’m a monster but I can’t change who I am.”

2.) “What’s a motto?” “I don’t know what’s the motto with you.”

3.) “How many fucking times do you think I’m going to let myself go through this again?”

4.) “Do you know what it’s like to go to bed every day to escape your demons only to find new ones haunting you?” 

5.) “Dude, that was crazy! I didn’t think that would work.” “Me neither.”

6.) “Are you sure I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes“ “Damn it.”

7.) ”I don’t need your forgiveness, and I’m way past asking for your permission”

8.) “It hurts me that you can lie to me so easily. It hurts that you always lie to me. When can I have the truth? Is it too much to ask for?”

9.) “I’ve been telling her not to, it’s not my fault that she’s a prick and can’t do shit when she’s told to.”

10.) “Do you ever think about everything you’ve done in your life? How do you not hate yourself?

11.) “I’m not proud of much, but I’m proud of you.”

12.) “If you’re here, and he’s here, then who the hell is making all that ruckus in my bedroom?”

13.) “Please forgive me.”

14.) “Let her. Let her kill me. Let her hurt me. I deserve it.”

15.) “P-Please hold me.”

16.) “That is false.”

17.) “I-I can’t remember what I did yesterday or what I did today. I-I don’t know where I am.”

18.) “You were supposed to be my friend. You were supposed to be my family.”

19.) “Own up to who you are. Never let anyone shoot you down.”

20.) “As Sir Isaac Newton once said, ‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

21.) “I thought dragons came after virgins… so why aren’t they after you?”

22.) “Being insanely smart has its downs.”

23.) “You said you’ll always be there for me. You lied.”

24.) “Yes! I’m a real person! I have real people’s feelings!”

25.)  “It’s us, always and forever.”

26.) “I have to pick between the only people I’ve ever cared about, and whoever I don’t pick dies.”

27.) “Why are you always running away from me? I’m not that bad!” “You’re the devil in a white suit.”

28.) “Can we please stop this? W-We’s always fighting. I-I don’t even know what we’re fighting about.”

29.) “I hope you learned your lesson, next time I won’t be there to save your ass.” “W-What are you talking about? What do you mean you won’t be there?”

30.) “Eres un idiota.” “Did you just call me an idiot in Spanish?” “What?! I would never.”

31.) “But why does this matter? I can guarantee you that I’m never gonna use it.”

32.) “Doesn’t it bother you that we can never be normal?” “Maybe it did. But now, being different is better.” 

33.) “So, if you’re so good with kids, then where the hell is mine?” “That’s not fair.” “It’s your fault.”

34.) “I’m too tired to care.”

35.) “I don’t want to kill you. But I will. Because my family is more important. So again, leave. Now.”

36.) “Danger’s my last name!” “I thought it was (Y/L/N)?”

37.) “I-I can’t find anything of my meds. Not my anti-depressants, not my pain killers, not my anxiety meds. I-I can’t stop shaking.”

38.) “I have to write a 4-page long argumentative essay.” “Well, you are good at arguing.”

39.) “But you tried. That’s what counts. Not everything is a success.”

40.) “Ugh, it’s you again. Didn’t you die last year?” “No, that was fake.”

41.) “Don’t do that!”

42.) “You’re so stupid! I hate you and your stupid little face!”

43.) “What the hell?! You’re supposed to be taking an exam right now! What the hell are you doing here?!”

44.) “Did I stutter?”

 45.) “Let go of my pie. Now.”

46.) “You’re sneaking out, aren’t you?”

47.) “How many times must I tell you? No drinking before dark.

48.) “So, you have a metal arm? That’s exciting.”

49.) “Do you think that I’m gonna leave you? You’re stuck with me, with us forever, no matter how much you hate it.”

50.) “Uhm, am I going crazy, or do you also see that horse?”

51.) “You’re not who I thought you were. You’re better.”

52.) “Are you sure you two aren’t related?”

53.) “There are literal monsters, roaming the streets, and you’re telling me to stay calm?!”

54.) “I know this may be hard for you to believe, but there are ways to solve your problems, without violence.”

55.) “Well, I didn’t expect that.”

56.) “You look like you need a hug, kid. What’s on your mind?”

57.) “Please don’t! She’s a child!” “So what? Many children die every day, why should yours live?”

58.) “I said to blend in! Not dress like you just killed someone!”

59.) “You’re lying.” “That makes two of us

60.)” Well, this is awkward.”

61.) I uh, think I might be pregnant.”

62.) “Do you want me to kill somebody for you?”

63.) “I thought you were dead?” “Yeah, guess I was hell to put up with. Even for Hell.

64.) Prove it to me. Prove to me this world would be better without you. ‘Cuz it won’t. Let me show you how much you mean to me. To us. Just please, get down from there.”

65.) “Let me help you cook before you burn down my house.”

66.) “I’m not scared of you. You’re like a little puppy!”

67.) “I want you to come with me, not anyone else.”

68.) “Do you know each other?”

69.)   “I hate you.” “I know. But you need me.”

70.) “Isn’t it a beautiful day to create some chaos?”

71.) “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

72.) “Welcome to Vampire 101. Don’t get caught by hunters.”

73.) “Please don’t hurt them! They’ve done nothing wrong!”

74.) “I’m doing the best I can! I don’t know how to drive!”

75.) “I heard screaming, are you okay?”

76.) “Hey! Are you telling me I’m bad at my job!”

77.) “I really don’t care.”

78.) “I can’t remember. I wish I could.”

79.) “Watch your language!”

80.) “Hey, I can’t find the scissors, can we use your claws?”

81.) "Minutes. We only have minutes till it's too late.

82.) "Just be careful. I don't want a call at 3 AM from the hospital saying that you died.

83.) "What do you want?! I'm playing Mario Kart!"

84.) "There's a light at the end of the tunnel." "Yeah, it's called hellfire.

85.) "Who gives a rat's ass about Chemistry?!

86.) "Oh my god just your voice makes me wanna die!

87.) "Why the hell is there a 72-inch teddy bear on my bed?

88.) "None of us here have a life, so who the hell is texting you at 10 PM?

89.) "I just want it to end? Can't you just leave me to die?!"

90.) "Okay, he keeps giving me the evil eye."

91.) "I've been stabbed more times than days I've been alive."

92.) "Did you cut your hair?" "No, I got stabbed by a knife."

93.) "Please save me."

94.) "A shady ass mansion and 6 weird ass kids, what could go wrong?"

95.) "Oh my god they are dating! You owe me 5 bucks!"

96.) "No! There's something wrong with me, everyone always leaves me!"

97.) "Why is there a 5-year-old in your hands?"

98.) "Oh yeah, I'm pregnant."

99.) "So, I'm a witch, my dad's a hunter, and my mom's an evil coven leader. Talk about a messed up family."

100.) "You know what they say, the kindest one is the most broken one."

101.) "I've got all the time in the world for you."

102.) "I-I didn't kill him."

103.) "You're covered in blood."

104.) "Took years, but I finally have the courage to say it, I love you. Will you go out with me?"

105.) "Well, I'm never working at this coffee shop again."

106.) "I accidentally drank dish soap."

107.) "He's kinda hot."

108.) "Are you drunk? Again?"

109.) "I can feel myself, fading away."

110.) "Don't stray away from me, I love you."

111.) “It’s a hard life but I had you. And I’d never give up that.”

112.) “Don’t move! One wrong step and you’ll die!”

113.) “You are good enough. Don’t doubt yourself.”

114.) "Do you smell something burning?" "Dude, that's your hair."

115.) "I just feel so numb, a-all the time. S-So fucking numb."

116.) “He saved my life, (name). You keep saying everyone else doesn't forgive him. I know you’re the one who doesn't. Stop acting like you're the high and mighty merciful one. I’m going to find him, and you’re not gonna stop me,”

117.) "I love you, why are you pushing me away?"

118.) "Why is nothing I do good enough for you? Every time you look at me, it's like you're just staring at a steaming pile of disappointment. Why do you always think you're better than me?"

119.) "I-I know you're there. Just please let me out."

120.) "You're gonna kill me? With what, reckless driving?"

121.) I'm listening to you, I have been fucking listen to you!"

122.) "Know that you are good enough,"

123.) "I'm sorry that I was a dick. Just please, don't leave."

[teenwolffan-with-nolife]

Prompt List

Check out What I Write before requesting

1). “This is who I am, I know I’m a monster but I can’t change who I am.”

2.) “What’s a motto?” “I don’t know what’s the motto with you.”

3.) “How many fucking times do you think I’m going to let myself go through this again?”

4.) “Do you know what it’s like to go to bed every day to escape your demons only to find new ones haunting you?” 

5.) “Dude, that was crazy! I didn’t think that would work.” “Me neither.”

6.) “Are you sure I can’t punch him in the face?” “Yes“ “Damn it.”

7.) ”I don’t need your forgiveness, and I’m way past asking for your permission”

8.) “It hurts me that you can lie to me so easily. It hurts that you always lie to me. When can I have the truth? Is it too much to ask for?”

9.) “I’ve been telling her not to, it’s not my fault that she’s a prick and can’t do shit when she’s told to.”

10.) “Do you ever think about everything you’ve done in your life? How do you not hate yourself?

11.) “I’m not proud of much, but I’m proud of you.”

12.) “If you’re here, and he’s here, then who the hell is making all that ruckus in my bedroom?”

13.) “Please forgive me.”

14.) “Let her. Let her kill me. Let her hurt me. I deserve it.”

15.) “P-Please hold me.”

16.) “That is false.”

17.) “I-I can’t remember what I did yesterday or what I did today. I-I don’t know where I am.”

18.) “You were supposed to be my friend. You were supposed to be my family.”

19.) “Own up to who you are. Never let anyone shoot you down.”

20.) “As Sir Isaac Newton once said, ‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

21.) “I thought dragons came after virgins… so why aren’t they after you?”

22.) “Being insanely smart has its downs.”

23.) “You said you’ll always be there for me. You lied.”

24.) “Yes! I’m a real person! I have real people’s feelings!”

25.)  “It’s us, always and forever.”

26.) “I have to pick between the only people I’ve ever cared about, and whoever I don’t pick dies.”

27.) “Why are you always running away from me? I’m not that bad!” “You’re the devil in a white suit.”

28.) “Can we please stop this? W-We’re always fighting. I-I don’t even know what we’re fighting about.”

29.) “I hope you learned your lesson, next time I won’t be there to save your ass.” “W-What are you talking about? What do you mean you won’t be there?”

30.) “Eres un idiota.” “Did you just call me an idiot in Spanish?” “What?! I would never.”

31.) “But why does this matter? I can guarantee you that I’m never gonna use it.”

32.) “Doesn’t it bother you that we can never be normal?” “Maybe it did. But now, being different is better.” 

33.) “So, if you’re so good with kids, then where the hell is mine?” “That’s not fair.” “It’s your fault.”

34.) “I’m too tired to care.”

35.) “I don’t want to kill you. But I will. Because my family is more important. So again, leave. Now.”

36.) “Danger’s my last name!” “I thought it was (Y/L/N)?”

37.) “I-I can’t find anything of my meds. Not my anti-depressants, not my pain killers, not my anxiety meds. I-I can’t stop shaking.”

38.) “I have to write a 4-page long argumentative essay.” “Well, you are good at arguing.”

39.) “But you tried. That’s what counts. Not everything is a success.”

40.) “Ugh, it’s you again. Didn’t you die last year?” “No, that was fake.”

41.) “Don’t do that!”

42.) “You’re so stupid! I hate you and your stupid little face!”

43.) “What the hell?! You’re supposed to be taking an exam right now! What the hell are you doing here?!”

44.) “Did I stutter?”

 45.) “Let go of my pie. Now.”

46.) “You’re sneaking out, aren’t you?”

47.) “How many times must I tell you? No drinking before dark.

48.) “So, you have a metal arm? That’s exciting.”

49.) “Do you think that I’m gonna leave you? You’re stuck with me, with us forever, no matter how much you hate it.”

50.) “Uhm, am I going crazy, or do you also see that horse?”

51.) “You’re not who I thought you were. You’re better.”

52.) “Are you sure you two aren’t related?”

53.) “There are literal monsters, roaming the streets, and you’re telling me to stay calm?!”

54.) “I know this may be hard for you to believe, but there are ways to solve your problems, without violence.”

55.) “Well, I didn’t expect that.”

56.) “You look like you need a hug, kid. What’s on your mind?”

57.) “Please don’t! She’s a child!” “So what? Many children die every day, why should yours live?”

58.) “I said to blend in! Not dress like you just killed someone!”

59.) “You’re lying.” “That makes two of us

60.)” Well, this is awkward.”

61.) I uh, think I might be pregnant.”

62.) “Do you want me to kill somebody for you?”

63.) “I thought you were dead?” “Yeah, guess I was hell to put up with. Even for Hell.

64.) Prove it to me. Prove to me this world would be better without you. ‘Cuz it won’t. Let me show you how much you mean to me. To us. Just please, get down from there.”

65.) “Let me help you cook before you burn down my house.”

66.) “I’m not scared of you. You’re like a little puppy!”

67.) “I want you to come with me, not anyone else.”

68.) “Do you know each other?”

69.)   “I hate you.” “I know. But you need me.”

70.) “Isn’t it a beautiful day to create some chaos?”

71.) “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

72.) “Welcome to Vampire 101. Don’t get caught by hunters.”

73.) “Please don’t hurt them! They’ve done nothing wrong!”

74.) “I’m doing the best I can! I don’t know how to drive!”

75.) “I heard screaming, are you okay?”

76.) “Hey! Are you telling me I’m bad at my job!”

77.) “I really don’t care.”

78.) “I can’t remember. I wish I could.”

79.) “Watch your language!”

80.) “Hey, I can’t find the scissors, can we use your claws?”

81.) "Minutes. We only have minutes till it's too late.

82.) "Just be careful. I don't want a call at 3 AM from the hospital saying that you died.

83.) "What do you want?! I'm playing Mario Kart!"

84.) "There's a light at the end of the tunnel." "Yeah, it's called hellfire.

85.) "Who gives a rat's ass about Chemistry?!

86.) "Oh my god just your voice makes me wanna die!

87.) "Why the hell is there a 72-inch teddy bear on my bed?

88.) "None of us here have a life, so who the hell is texting you at 10 PM?

89.) "I just want it to end? Can't you just leave me to die?!"

90.) "Okay, he keeps giving me the evil eye."

91.) "I've been stabbed more times than days I've been alive."

92.) "Did you cut your hair?" "No, I got stabbed by a knife."

93.) "Please save me."

94.) "A shady ass mansion and 6 weird ass kids, what could go wrong?"

95.) "Oh my god they are dating! You owe me 5 bucks!"

96.) "No! There's something wrong with me, everyone always leaves me!"

97.) "Why is there a 5-year-old in your hands?"

98.) "Oh yeah, I'm pregnant."

99.) "So, I'm a witch, my dad's a hunter, and my mom's an evil coven leader. Talk about a messed up family."

100.) "You know what they say, the kindest one is the most broken one."

101.) "I've got all the time in the world for you."

102.) "I-I didn't kill him."

103.) "You're covered in blood."

104.) "Took years, but I finally have the courage to say it, I love you. Will you go out with me?"

105.) "Well, I'm never working at this coffee shop again."

106.) "I accidentally drank dish soap."

107.) "He's kinda hot."

108.) "Are you drunk? Again?"

109.) "I can feel myself, fading away."

110.) "Don't stray away from me, I love you."

111.) “It’s a hard life but I had you. And I’d never give up that.”

112.) “Don’t move! One wrong step and you’ll die!”

113.) “You are good enough. Don’t doubt yourself.”

114.) "Do you smell something burning?" "Dude, that's your hair,"

115.) "I just feel so numb, a-all the time. S-So fucking numb."

116.) “He saved my life, (name). You keep saying everyone else doesn't forgive him. I know you’re the one who doesn't. Stop acting like you're the high and mighty merciful one. I’m going to find him, and you’re not gonna stop me,”

117.) "I love you, why are you pushing me away?"

118.) "Why is nothing I do good enough for you? Every time you look at me, it's like you're just staring at a steaming pile of disappointment. Why do you always think you're better than me?"

119.) "I-I know you're there. Just please let me out."

120.) "You're gonna kill me? With what, reckless driving?"

121.) "I'm listening to you, I have been fucking listening to you!"

122.) "Know that you are good enough."

123.) "I'm sorry that I was a dick. Just please, don't leave."

[echodrops]

Fanon vs. Canon Shigaraki

Belatedly:

This post gained a lot more traction than expected, so quick edit: the “canon” discussed below is only my personal interpretation of canon, and this post is definitely not intended to be a guide for characterizing Shigaraki in every fanfic! Please don’t use this meta to criticize anyone else’s writing, as that was not my intention. Everyone should feel free to create what they enjoy! 

Look y’all, I ain’t one to judge, but I love canon-based fics and sometimes the massive gap between Shigaraki in fanon and Shigaraki in BNHA’s canon just has me going whaaa???

I mean, like...

Fanon Shigaraki: Abhors all human contact. Lurks in his bedroom 24/7. Never speaks to others except to bitch them out. A vampire who will combust upon setting foot outside his lair.

Canon Shigaraki: Seen alone in his bedroom a grand total of one (1) time in the series; the only other time his room is shown, the rest of the entire League is squeezed in there too. Never out of contact with his followers except Dabi who is the real antisocial bitch here. Longest he’s ever been drawn spending time by himself without another major character to keep him company? Two pages. Gets mad... GOES TO THE MALL.

Fanon Shigaraki: Vocabulary consists of 80% “I’ll kill you” and 20% “Fuck off.” 1000% RAGE ALL DAY ERRYDAY. Has no concept of a good mood. Wouldn’t know how to smile if he tried. Either one step from a temper tantrum or one step from murder, there is NO IN BETWEEN BUT THERE IS FREQUENT OVERLAP.

Canon Shigaraki: Demonstrates the development of remarkable restraint, even when Bakugou damages precious “Father”...

Constantly comments on other people’s bad manners all right, this one might be a little hypocritical, but at least we know he knows what proper manners are... Is referred to on multiple occasions as being pleased with the League members’ work, implying they’ve seen him actively happy... Compliments people (even heroes) when they impress him... The second most likely villain to say “Thanks” (behind only Toga)...

Master of both the goofy grin:

And the soft smile:

Fanon Shigaraki: Can’t insult his comrades often enough. Say something nice about another human being? Hard pass. Friends? Quote: “I would rather die.” Only suffers the League because he’s forced to have allies to defeat the heroes; zero emotional attachment to his comrades unless he’s written as sleeping with Dabi and even then half the time this is still true. Would not give a fuck if half of them died except for how it would inconvenience him.

Canon Shigaraki: Is he still manipulating the League members to use their strength to further his own agenda? Oh for sure. BUT AT LEAST HE’S DOING IT POLITELY.

Since the formation of the core “League,” he frequently talks positively about his comrades, even when they’re not around to hear it:

Knows his allies well enough that he can send them out without instructions and still trust that they will act in exactly the League’s best interests:

Expresses concern for the other members’ well-being:

And has zero hesitation about throwing himself into potentially deadly situations to protect the rest of the League:

Fanon Shigaraki: An innocent, traumatized angel who had no choice but to become evil; he definitely wouldn’t be this way if he knew better! Sometimes written as a weakling who needs to be defended from anyone, everyone, the world, and especially All For One. Feeble waif, constantly on the edge of wasting away. Might cry himself to sleep at night. Never Been Touched/Don’t-Touch-Me-I-am-the-NIGHT™.

Canon Shigaraki: Craves violence like candy...

Close combat quirk means he’s always up in other people’s business... Personal space bubbles are for the weak.

Easily capable of controlling the bickering and assuaging the concerns of his team members...

An unmitigated badass who carries on whole conversations while bleeding out from bullet wounds to every limb...

And jumps from speeding vehicles without a moment’s pause. There was literally no reason for him to be on the roof of the truck EXCEPT for it looking badass. This boy is just Extra AF and I won’t hear any arguments to the contrary.

EDIT to add one more because this is also bugging me:

Fanon Shigaraki: Absolutely the worst at adapting to new scenarios. Violently rejects any form of change. Has a comfort zone the size of a wasabi pea and only ever comes out of that comfort zone kicking and screaming, dragged by another major character. Every ounce of character growth will take twelve chapters and a dramatic mental breakdown to overcome.

Canon Shigaraki: (Deliberately) Tied with Midoriya for being the most adaptive character in the series.

Never tries the same strategy twice...

Learns from, consumes, and grows by flexibly incorporating the plans and attitudes of other villains...

Actively and intentionally changes entire facets of his own behavior to further his agenda...

And to motivate his allies... From:

To:

What MAKES Shigaraki so terrifying and effective as a villain is that he is so flexible and capable of change. He demonstrates the ability to admit and learn from his mistakes, to build new plans on the fly, to gain deeper understanding of how other people work (and can be manipulated) and to quickly and easily put everything he learns into action to forward his goals. He’s fascinating in his ability to simply pick up or discard new attitudes to suit his own ends, and his actions continuously call into question what aspects of Shigaraki’s personality/behavior are genuine and which are merely a construct he’s built up deliberately to further his own and All For One’s dreams.

Shigaraki Tomura is incredible at adapting to challenges, can blend in exactly when, where, and as much as he needs to, and is significantly more open to change than virtually any other villain we’ve seen so far in the series.

But I feel like it’s rare to see this side of him in fandom portrayals?

Sure, Shigaraki is still violent, unhinged, quick-tempered, and definitely keeping things secret from the rest of the League to use them to his benefit... But uhhhh...

He’s also become a ferocious defender to his men. His actively antisocial behavior (always exaggerated) has become increasingly reduced in the story--Tomura is virtually always seen in the company of others (contrast Twice and Spinner, who we’re deliberately shown spending time alone, and Dabi, who appears to frequently work without the rest of the League). Shigaraki exhibits a reasonable gamut of emotions, including many of which are not “Go die,” and he shows a positive and grateful attitude towards his comrades (might be fake, but still at least he’s bothering to fake it, unlike Chisaki). He’s also been shown to be a great actor, both in serious scenes and in silly ones, such as his doofy reaction to Uraraka...

In terms of leadership, Tomura has advanced to the point that he’s the one promoting group solidarity, allows and wants others to think of the League as close-knit, and knows his comrades well enough to rely on them in meaningful situations. We’re led to believe he was earnest in his attempts to recruit Bakugou, that Toga has seen him happy on at least a few occasions, and that he’s okay with bringing the rest of the League into what likely qualifies as his home (something none of the other League members have ever done, at least that we’ve seen).

Furthermore, every confrontation he’s been in in the manga can only lead readers to the conclusion that Shigaraki is an absolute beast on the battlefield, easily the League’s strongest and most dangerous player, and more likely to be protecting the other League members than being protected...

So like, I ain’t out here about to criticize anyone else’s portrayals of Shigaraki in their own works, and this isn’t intended to be a guide on how to write or not write Shigaraki in fics, but I do find myself wishing his characterization in fanworks showed the same evolution as his character in the actual story.

Why write level 1 Tomura behavior when my boy is out here grinding his way to 99???

Send me your Shigaraki fic recs fam, I’m dying...

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

IT Chapter 2 - Thoughts (SPOILERS)

When the first IT movie came out two years ago, I went in knowing absolutely NOTHING about the book or story. I still have not read the book (I have maybe twenty pages of Jay Baruchel’s book left, and then I’ll be starting IT!), but both then and now, I’ve found that the first IT movie is one of my favourite horror films. Whilst the first one didn’t really scare me so much as just freak me the fuck out, I still thought it was well-made and enjoyable.

I hadn’t watched the original film for a long time - probably over a whole year since. When I saw that there was going to be a double bill of the first AND second film, I immediately jumped to get a ticket - I needed a refresher of the first film, and I was extremely PUMPED for the second film. 

As I’m writing this, I’ve just gotten back from the double bill and I wanted to get some thoughts down whilst they’re still fresh in my mind. This is NOT my proper, written-out review, more just me making notes that’ll help me write that review. I also wanted to write them down just in case someone wants to go in prepared, or if they’re on the fence about seeing the film and don’t mind spoilers. 

I am also NOT talking about the first film - I made a post on my old blog when I first watched “IT” in 2017, which I have dug up and can be found HERE. 

In case it’s not already obvious, THERE ARE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. MASSIVE SPOILERS. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ THE SPOILERS.

Anyway, let’s get on with it!

This is more of a cinema-complaint but my cinema still had the music that plays in the venue playing over the first thirty seconds so I missed ALL the audio in the first thirty seconds of the film. I DID see Beverly floating and the Losers Club talking, so I’m assuming it’s nothing I didn’t already know from the first film.

I like that it opens with cutbacks to the first film, it ties it nicely together and adds an extra reminder/refresher of what happened in the first film.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THAT FUCKING OPENING ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW

So after the Losers Club, there’s a scene with this gay couple at a carnival, one of whom is called Adrian, and they firstly get verbal harassment from a gang of people, and then said gang starts following them.

OKAY LOOK THIS IS A WARNING, THERE IS A GAY BASHING IN THIS FILM. It really FUCKED me up, I’m going to be honest. I’m pretty sure it’s something that happens in the book, so maybe I don’t need to warn anyone, but I was unprepared to see it. 

So after they beat Adrian up, they toss him over a bridge while he’s unconscious and into the river below; his boyfriend goes running down to find him, and that’s when you see Pennywise.

At first I thought Pennywise was just super against gay bashing and was actually helping Adrian but NOPE, HE TAKES A GIANT FUCKING BITE OUT OF HIM, I NEARLY SCREAMED IN THE CINEMA

Also I definitely noticed how Adrian was asthmatic and needed an inhaler, as is Eddie. I’m not sure if that’s a sign but let’s assume so...

This is how it all starts again and Mike - who’s the only one still in Derry btw - has to call the rest of the club up because “oh shit he’s back again”. 

Can I just say that the casting for the adult Losers Club is FUCKING PHENOMENAL. ALL OF THEM.

James McAvoy as Bill? Jessica Chastain as Beverly? Bill Hader as Richie? Blessed casting, absolutely blessed.

As a writer, I laughed so hard at everyone hating Bill’s book endings. Literally EVERYONE shat on how he ended his books, even his own wife (who’s an actress, I think?) and it was so funny.

Poor Eddie went from a domineering mother to a domineering wife who I’m 99% sure is played by the same actress by the way. 

Probably should mention now that Eddie is one of my favourite members of the club in the first film, so that was kinda sad for me to see.

Oh God, Richie in this film is perfect. I love him. First time we see him, he’s vomiting after getting a phone call from Mike and then he has to go onstage to do stand-up. Throughout the whole film he is literal GOLD.

Ben really had a huge glow-up between movies, I mean DAMN BEN. Does that happen in the book? Ben going from the “fat kid” to “handsome and fit” or...?

Oh poor Bev...poor Bev indeed. She went from being abused by her creepy ass father to being in an abusive relationship with her husband. I sadly get the feeling that that kind of thing happens in real life - history repeats itself and all of that.

I’m 90% sure that Bev’s husband was going to r*pe her because he threw her down and started to take off his shirt, but she kicked him off her and fought back before too much happened.

Of course, Stan. I had a horrible feeling when I saw the trailers and saw that he was noticeably absent compared to the others. Also, when I started reading IT two years ago (I only got a few chapters in, I didn’t have much time so I kind of fell away before I got too into the book), THAT scene with Stan was one of the only chapters I got round to reading because it was right at the start. So I knew and I was dreading it.

Potentially triggering for people like myself who have been suicidal/are suicidal/self-harm; he runs himself a bath and then slits his wrists to kill himself (and succeeds). I mean, it’s not 13 Reasons Why level of explicit, you don’t SEE him do it properly, but it’s intercut with the moment Bill sliced his palm in the first film when they were all making the pact. So it’s PRETTY DAMN OBVIOUS what’s going on.

Throughout this whole film, I had no idea what was real and what wasn’t anymore. Some of the shit that happened was bizarre and I was like “...how is NO ONE NOTICING THAT”. 

As soon as I saw the words “cut” and “IT” come out of fortune cookies, I knew something was about to go down. Even more so when “Stanley” came out of one.

The humour in this film is a whole new level. Most of it is Bill Hader as Richie, but some of it is just in general (like one of them screaming “IT’S NOT REAL” whilst smashing a chair on a table in the Chinese restaurant, only for an employee to turn up and be like “da fuq”...long story).

I assumed that Henry Bowers had fallen straight to hell or died frankly. Oh boy was I wrong. Not surprised they put him in an asylum given that he murdered his own father tbh. 

PATRICK THE ZOMBIE

So is the Patrick zombie ACTUALLY driving Henry around, I’m curious because how the fuck would no one else notice a zombie driving around?!

“how do you not know material from you own show?!” - oh God, I am so weak

Pennywise kills this little girl called Vicky and I just KNEW. I just knew what that little bitch (Pennywise) was up to as soon as he started fake crying because “no one will be my friend because I look strange” or whatever. He saw that mark on the girl’s face and I fucking knew. 

“One...Two...” “...” “...” “...you’re supposed to say-” AND THEN HE TOOK A MASSIVE FUCKING BITE OUT OF HER FACE, I LITERALLY CRIED OUT I WAS SO FUCKING TERRIFIED

The scene where Mike drugs Bill to get him to “see” is...weird. Extremely weird. It was like being on hallucinogen drugs. Everything about it and IT is weird.

I’m confused as to when the timeline of them building the clubhouse and their individual experiences with IT take place in this film. Are the individual encounters (which I’ll talk about in a moment) supposed to have taken place in the time they were all apart? And the clubhouse, was that AFTER they fought IT? I’m so confused about when all of this was happening

So they all have to find these objects as offerings for this ritual to defeat IT and...that was a ride of several varieties.

We’ve all seen the Mrs Kersh teaser, right? The old lady? And how she suddenly wiggles around naked in the background for no apparent reason? That made a LOT of people laugh but, I mean, hats off to the actress for doing that, I’m 21 and I couldn’t even imagine having to do that.

Umm so yikes, Bev’s relationship with her father remains so creepy and abusive, like he blames her for her mother killing herself?? And then sprays her in her mom’s perfume and starts smelling her?? I needed to lie down on the sofa I was on, it had me so uncomfortable.

Um so Mrs Kersh turns into this GIANT FUCKING OLD LADY DEMON THING THAT’S NAKED AND I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO UNCOMFORTABLE IN MY LIFE

Pennywise painting his face and making those noises...yikes. fuckin yikes. I still love Bill Skarsgard.

OKAY LOOK RICHIE WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT RICHIE’S WHOLE STORYLINE SO IMMA DO THAT NOW

ABOUT RICHIE

So if I’m correct, and I think I am, Richie is gay? There’s a flashback when he heads to the arcade of Richie when he’s young and his hand lingers just a second too long on another boy’s at one point, and then he gets accused of being “weird”. Then it turns out the boy is Bowers’ cousin and Bowers shows up, starts accusing Richie of being a certain-gay-slur, and Richie runs outside.

Umm that bUILDER LUMBERJACK STATUE COMING TO LIFE WAS UNNECESSARY THANK YOU I’M GOING TO HAVE FUCKING NIGHTMARES ABOUT THAT FUCKING THING

So back to older Richie because this is all happening one-after-the-other here. Older Richie goes outside and he looks up at the Lumberjack statue, and there’s Pennywise with loads of balloons.

Pennywise starts accusing him of being too afraid to play games, but especially truth-or-dare, because then “everyone will know your secret”. 

My legit favourite thing is now Pennywise the clown floating down from on top of a statue singing “I KNOW YOUR SECRET, YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRET” and I refuse to feel guilty for it

It is so heavily implied that Richie’s secret is that he’s attracted to guys and I am here for the representation. I don’t know whether Richie is gay or bi or whatever, but shit I love it

I literally just wanted Richie to admit it so he could be proud and not afraid, like own it Richie. Own who you are, and then Pennywise can’t use it against you.

I’m literally going to rewatch this film JUST FOR RICHIE AND EDDIE’S ROMANCE

Anyway, end of me discussing Richie (for now)

I saw you Stephen King, in that shop with Bill’s bike :))

I wonder how other adults in Derry feel about seeing fully grown Bill screaming down a drain. It’s kind of sadly funny now that I consider it...

To be honest, I don’t remember what that little boy was called but Bill must have looked like a fucking weirdo just screaming and following that little boy around... (okay, I THINK the kid is called Dean so I’m going to just call him that)

To be fair to Bill, I also lie awake at night wondering “why Georgie??” That kid was far too adorable.

I always thought Ben was smart for some reason and so I was kinda surprised to see him in summer school (I’m English so we don’t have that here, but am I right in thinking that it’s where you go if you fail school or something? To get your grades up/retake tests?)

I was not convinced for a second that that shadow belonged to Beverly, and turns out I’m right. 

See, after seeing Bev’s head suddenly catch on fire, I’m glad I never started smoking (yes, I’m aware that’s Pennywise)

Poor Ben, having fake-Bev tell him that he’s fat/will die alone etc. It’s so sweet that he kept the page in his yearbook that she signed though, to remind himself that the REAL Beverly wouldn’t do that.

“Kiss me, fat boy” - AM I WRONG OR WAS THAT A LINE IN THE TIM CURRY VERSION BECAUSE I’M SURE IT’S NOT THE FIRST TIME A PENNYWISE HAS SAID THAT

That creepy ass pharmacist is still there?? AND his daughter?!

See, I’m confused...did Eddie’s mom REALLY get killed by the Leper or was that just a Pennywise trick to lure him in?

That Leper, guys...fuck me, it’s disgusting like it licks and vomits on Eddie?!

You know shit’s about to get real when characters go into fun-houses, especially the ones with a clown theme.

Okay, you know what, I was wrong when I thought that that little girl called Vicky had the most violent death - HOW ABOUT DEAN?? PENNYWISE RAMMING HIS HEAD AGAINST THE GLASS AND THEN FUCKING EATING HIM IN FRONT OF BILL WHILST BLOOD SPRAYS FUCKING EVERYWHERE

Ben: I’ve spoken to Richie, he’s going to stay -> Cut to: Richie, escaping and driving away very quickly

Hang on, how in the fuck did Eddie survive Bowers stabbing him in the cheek?! (Having said that, the Narrator in Fight Club survived blowing the whole of his cheek off so I can’t complain). 

For a moment I genuinely forgot about what happened to Henry Bowers after this but I’ve just remembered - he attacks the Losers Club again at the library and gets stabbed (I think?). All I know is that he definitely dies in that library.

I knew Mike’s parents had burnt to death and he’d been in the next room, but I didn’t realize that he’d been a toddler at the time?? Jesus, how is he not completely fucked up after that?!

No amount of money or anything could ever convince me to go into that fucking house on Neibolt Street frankly. 

I can’t remember why Richie decided to stay right now but he decides to stay and help out. My memory is BAD.

So they go into the house and so much horrific shit goes down that I literally was hiding behind the blanket I was using.

Less scary thing first: Ben having words carved into his stomach until Bev kicks some ass and destroys a mirror. Still freaked me out but not as much as the NEXT THING HOLY SHIT

So in the next room, the fridge opens and inside is young!Stan’s body - his head then falls off and rolls across the floor, starts speaking. When the Losers Club starts not believing it/being less afraid, Stan’s head...fuck fuck fuck

Stan’s head GROWS FUCKING LEGS AND IT BECOMES A SPIDER BUT WITH A HUMAN HEAD?! SO STAN’S HEAD IS THE BODY/FACE BUT IT HAS SPIDER LEGS AND I NEARLY BURST INTO TEARS BECAUSE I CAN HANDLE A LOT BUT FUCKIN SPIDERS IS NOT FUCKIN ONE OF THEM

I’M NOT KIDDING, THAT IS THE MOST TERRIFYING, HORRIFYING THING I HAVE EVER SEEN, AND I HAVE SEEN A LOT OF HORROR MOVIES

So they all end up going into the sewers, and going deeper after that, to do their ritual; freaky-boob-demon showed up and pulled Bev underwater, but beyond it being a quick jumpscare (that was admittedly scary), nothing happens since it goes down underwater and just see Eddie panicking but too afraid to go in after them himself.

Richie giving Eddie the pep talk was both sweet and hilarious. I admittedly laughed more than I should have done at the “you married a woman who weighs 400 pounds comment”. 

So, surprise surprise, the fucking dumbass ritual doesn’t work. For some reason Mike decides “hmm I won’t mention that this ritual failed before when it was last done, ho hum” and so everyone’s in the shit after that.

Pennywise turns into this gigantic crab-spider-thing and I don’t know how to feel about it. It’s honestly terrifying and unsettling, but I was half-expecting IT to turn into something like a massive spider or something horrific. I’m glad in a way he didn’t but still.

I should have mentioned this earlier but remember how in the first film, they decided that they’re safe so long as they stay together? YEAH, WELL, SECOND FILM SAYS LOL NOPE TO THAT AND THE CLUB KEEP SEPARATING, WHY DO YOU STRESS ME OUT LIKE THIS

The thing with Richie and Eddie and that Pomeranian was so cute? You know, until the dog fuCKING TURNED INTO A MONSTER THAT IS, “Not Scary At All” MY ASS PENNYWISE

Is IT able to be in seven different places at once? Because I wasn’t sure, but Pennywise seems to torment the kids/adults separately at the same time in BOTH films

So apparently Bill feels guilty because he “wasn’t sick” that day that Georgie went out into the rain and like...okay? That feels a bit shoehorned in but cool, alright then.

Bev ends up in that toilet cubicle with people trying to break in and like...gross? Her dad? And the pharmacist? Can go fuck themselves :))

So that toilet filled with blood pretty fast huh

Also Beverley really took her sweet ass time realizing that it was BEN who wrote that poem despite the fact she seemed to realize he was the one who did it AFTER he kissed her awake in the first film. However, I’ll maybe let it slide since apparently they forget things when they leave Derry, so...

Ben nearly drowns in dirt and Pennywise taunts him about dying alone, honestly same, I just know I’m going to die alone and unloved :))

Richie deciding “fuck it” and throwing rocks/screaming at Pennywise was so amazing...until the deadlights got him.

Eddie really sacrificed himself like that, huh :(

Poor Eddie was so happy because “oh my god I did it, I killed him, Richie wake up, look-!” - and then he got fucking stabbed. Gosh, I just LOVE it when my favourites DIE LIKE THAT STEPHEN KING -_-

So the deadlights are kind of just...balls of light? Or...?

So apparently calling Pennywise names like “clown” and putting him down is all it took to make him small enough to defeat, huh? They really shouted “clown” at him until he shrunk into a new-born-baby-sized-Pennywise

Also they crushed his heart and that was it. Cool, I guess. I don’t know what I was expecting but I don’t think what I got was it

So, um, while I’m here, let’s just take a moment to...

FUCKING NO WHY DID NO ONE FUCKING TELL ME THAT FUCKING EDDIE WAS GOING TO DIE

I WAS ROOTING FOR EDDIE EVERY SINCE HE SAID ABOUT GAZEBOS OKAY YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW ANGRY AND SAD I AM

I mean, he died like a hero, granted, but how fucking dare you-

You know what’s even MORE heartbreaking than Eddie dying? RICHIE’S REACTION.

Oh sure, the others are sad, but RICHIE IS FULL ON SOBBING AND NOT WANTING TO LET HIM GO, LIKE HE’S LITERALLY IN DENIAL AND HAS TO BE DRAGGED AWAY

RICHIE TAKES IT THE HARDEST AND MY HEART, IT FUCKING HURTS GUYS, IT REALLY DOES

Anyway, thank you Bill Hader for inventing acting for this film

Okay I’m sort of done

So no one is going to notice that dusty crackhouse building just crumbling completely then?

That moment where the remaining adult losers look at their reflection in a window, and they see themselves young - but it’s ALL of them young, even Stan and Eddie, and now I really am sad

Richie breaking down when they’re in the quarry to clean up...again, my heart hurts and it’s Richie’s fault

Towards the beginning of this film/most of the first film, I genuinely cared a bit about who Bev ended up with (well, more I was hoping it was Ben because he’s sweet and a good person) but by the time we got to Ben and Bev kissing after all the Bill-Bev-Ben triangle bullshit...meh. Cool, I guess. 

I am genuinely glad that the surviving losers seem to be living at least slightly better lives by the end of the film; Bill actually as an idea about what he’s writing for once; Bev is away from abusive fathers/husbands and with Ben on what looked like a VERY nice private yacht; I think Mike was going to see the world(?) after being cooped up in the library for so  long.

Richie...I don’t know if his ending was better than how he started to be honest. I think he said something about being proud at the end, so maybe that means he’s going to accept who he is? 

HE CARVED “R+E” into the bridge as a teen, and he re-cARVES IT AT THE END ARE YOU SERIOUS

Did Stan really think that by killing himself, it would prevent everyone from going back or...? Because he says in his letter that if it’s not ALL of them going back, then he’s assuming they’ll all die? Or something?

^If I’ve got that wrong (which I’m sure I have) please excuse me, it was 1am by the time the film finished and I was recovering from being terrified and I was tired

Obviously Bill Skarsgard was amazing as Pennywise, I just wanted to save that until last because wOW. He really put his all into the character, and I personally think he did a fantastic job with it.

So overall, I enjoyed IT Chapter 2. Was it as good as the first? Ehh...kind of hard to say. I was more scared shitless this time around but it was mostly jump-scares. It was definitely creepier/darker/bloodier. Having said that, there were moments where I was like “what the actual fck” or a bit lost, like Mike drugging Bill? I also noticed that a LOT of people in the cinema were laughing towards the end when it was the comedic parts but rather the scary ones - whether that’s just “some people laugh when nervous/anxious” or they genuinely thought it was hilarious, I’m not sure. This film is also nearly 3 hours long, which...is a while. For me, it wasn’t too bad because I’ve done LOTR marathons at home using the extended editions, so under 3 hours is kind of something I’m used to, but it does kind of drag a bit. At the beginning there was a lot of time building up characters, which I get, but also was slightly unnecessary at times. The CGI was sort of a mixed bag for me. I feel like the CGI on Pennywise throughout was overall improved, but there were moments like an eyeball rolling across the table or something where I thought it looked fake as hell.

But all of that aside, I really enjoyed the film. I think I’d go back again just to see Bill Hader as Richie, to be honest, and for Richie’s whole storyline. For me personally, that was the best non-horror element of the film.As I said, I have not read the book YET, but it’s the very next one on my list - chances are I’ll be starting it tonight or tomorrow!

[mobius-prime]

241. Sonic the Hedgehog #173

Round Up!

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley! Colors: Jason Jensen

So! What is this mysterious thing that Antoine is so determined to do? What is so intimidating to him that he needs Sonic and Amy to back him up? Well, the first page of today's issue tells us quite plainly…

Compared to the constantly-in-flux love life of most of the other characters in this comic, it's so nice to see two characters who (aside from the hiccup caused by Evil Antoine) have remained pretty steady with each other throughout most of the story so far. And now they're about to get hitched! Especially considering how many other plot points have revolved around marriage and potential marriages, this is incredibly sweet and heartwarming to see - an actual marriage based on love and respect. With his main goal completed, Antoine's nerves finally crack though and Sonic has to steady him as he admits that he's been trying to work up the courage to do this for weeks, while Amy excitedly discusses girly things such as dress fittings for the wedding. Bunnie then takes everyone in search of Sally so they can tell her the good news as well. Sally is currently taking a call from Knuckles with Rotor in the brain trust lab, discussing Mina's current world tour and how the Chaotix are acting as her bodyguards in case of any other assassination attempts. Knuckles then mentions he's heard a rumor that Rouge has stolen the Master Emerald from Angel Island and is offering to sell it to the highest bidder, and apparently the only strange thing about this according to everyone present is that normally Rouge would likely want to keep the gem for herself instead of selling it. Really, guys? No mention of how the theft of such an important gem would likely be nearly impossible to pull of at this point with so much security, or how doing such a thing would cause the entire island to plummet violently to earth? Sally prepares to arrange a mission to go after Rouge at the same time that the happy couple and Sonic arrive in the room, and thus, that night finds the four of them split into two groups on watch for any sign of the emerald. Sonic and Antoine, while on watch, discuss their situation.

I feel like Antoine here has kind of summed up what I had said before regarding The Slap - namely, that Sally's erratic and uncharacteristic behavior was a result of severe stress and trauma stemming from what happened during the year that Sonic was in space. Furthermore, those two aren't the only ones discussing Sally's current involvement with this mission - Sally herself has something to admit to Bunnie.

I think in lieu of Karl making it clear before he left that Sally is self-aware about her behavior, Ian has made a point of clearing things up right here. Sally was once a core member of the Freedom Fighters, leading them all personally and participating in nearly every mission with enthusiasm. I still firmly hold to the idea that her parents, particularly her father, are who influenced her so strongly to give a lot of that up and transition to being a more distant, princess-like ruler instead, staying within the safe boundaries of the village. It's taken her a long time to work through her trauma and begin to get back to where she was before, but she's closer than she has been in a long time. Both conversations are interrupted by the abrupt arrival of several familiar faces - Bunnie and Sally find themselves facing a vengeful Nack, while Sonic and Antoine are up against Bean and Bark, the former of whom is as insane as ever.

Nack alone isn't much of a match for the two girls, and quickly finds himself subdued, while Bean and Bark take Sonic and Antoine a little longer, though in the end they too end up defeated. Bunnie and Sally go about tying up their new set of captives while Sonic and Antoine head out to find Rouge, who is nearby, lying on top of the emerald which is covered in a sheet. She's very unnerved to find herself suddenly faced by none other than Mammoth Mogul and Naugus, who have naturally been lured here by the promise of a powerful magical artifact. However, there's something… different about Naugus now…

Mogul sends Naugus to try to take out his two new challengers with a new technique he's developed called a "shadow-meld," but they easily guess that he's trying to sneak up on them from behind and knock him out. A furious Mogul threatens them with his Ixis abilities, until a rapidly-growing engine revving sound reveals itself to be Sally on Nack's bike, dropping in from above to knock him out cold. With the most obvious threats out of the way, the heroes turn their attention to Rouge, but she quickly points out that she's on their side, pulling the sheet away to reveal the "Master Emerald" is nothing more than a table with a green lantern (no, not that one) underneath it. She then says that she did all this, helping them capture various baddies, for Knuckles and Knuckles alone, wanting to show him that she could "be a good girl and play by the rules," in perhaps the most stunning misunderstanding of what Rouge is actually like in the comics so far. Seriously, normally I appreciate Ian's take on most characters, but I think it took him a while to actually figure out Rouge's whole deal, because not once in the games does she pull anything like this solely for Knuckles' sake. Her interactions with Knuckles in the games mostly seem to amount to a lot of flirting, flustering, and teasing purely to make him angry and mess with his head - I believe there's even a line somewhere where she outright admits that he's "not her type" and she only does all that for fun. I mean, she is known for being a flirt after all, but that doesn't mean she's actually interested in everyone she flirts with - she's a manipulator. Now, of course that's not something that will ever stop fans shipping, and I'm certainly not one to judge people for shipping whatever the hell they want, but if we're talking canon, her actions here don't really make a lot of sense.

Anyway, Rouge does consent to help transport their haul of prisoners back home, and before they all head out, Bunnie and Antoine ask Sally and Sonic to be their maid of honor and best man respectively, to which they both say of course. As they get ready to head on back to Knothole, we zoom out to find that Eggman and Snively have been watching the proceedings the entire time from their cameras, with Eggman having hired Nack, Bean and Bark to attack just to be certain that the Master Emerald offered up by Rouge was fake. They then smirk as they discuss a new plan of theirs being right on schedule - something to do with the production of a "new fleet," which seems to have just been launched…

See Ya' Later Chao! (Part One)

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley Colors: Jason Jensen

On that ominous note, it's time for something much more lighthearted! Bernie comes out of her room one morning to find Jules and Sonic doting on a chao that's causing a bit of chaos in their home. She has no idea what it is or how it got in their house, so Sonic explains what he was up to yesterday, beginning with Rotor picking up a strong energy signature from the old, dried-up Lake of Rings that Robotnik sucked dry all the way back in the Sonic Quest miniseries. Thinking it might be a Chaos Emerald, Sonic, Tails, and Knuckles all set out to investigate, only to be surprised by the sight of a chao garden thriving where the lake once sat.

The three basically just played in the chao garden all afternoon and discovered what every young Sonic fan did back in '99 - the chao life cycle and how the way you interact with them affects their appearance, stats, and ability to reincarnate. Unfortunately, in the middle of their delightful chao-filled afternoon, Eggman showed up in a big mech with a drill on it, ready to mess up their day… Wow, guess both stories in today's issue end on a cliffhanger!

[goddessofthedawn]

it is that time of the time again where i talk about my book again! self-published, 99 cents for kindle, 16.66 for paperback because it’s about KIDS going to HELL-- (or add it on goodreads!)

synopsis: 

It was Jake’s idea to explore the abandoned house a few miles off of the highway. Neither Sam nor Amanda could have predicted that it would send them to Hell.Fortunately, getting out of Hell is possible – and out of the 80 Divisions Hell is made of, the three of them have landed in Division 78. With the help of a medieval swordsman who wants nothing more than to keep out of school, the three of them just might make it. Standing in their way? A Southern gentleman who died at the end of the American Civil War, more demons than any of them can count, and the devil himself… all of whom have taken an unhealthy interest in Sam. And Sam, mute since birth and willing to do anything to not only survive, but thrive, might be willing to make a deal with the devil to get out of Hell alive and in better shape than he entered.

also, below the cut is the first three pages, in case you wanted a little preview; the first chapter in its entirety is available on my blog

           The new kid had her poster.

           His name was Jake, he was from Bismarck, he never shut up, and he was holding the poster that she had (admittedly, taking a chance on it getting ruined) grabbed from the history room before heading out to the buses. She needed to finish it tonight, and now she had to talk to Jake Hyland to get it.

           It wasn’t like Jake was mean. He just didn’t shut up. He’d been at Lakewood for a couple of months, and already most of the high school had written him off as an annoyance. His only friends were Sam Jude, who was gorgeous, mute, and standing directly behind Jake, and Allan Carson, an eighth grader. Julian Rathe, a sixth grade kid who lived next door to Allan, could be seen hanging around them sometimes, too—either way, Jake had collected a reject, as cute as he was, and a couple of middle schoolers.

           “Hey, Amanda,” Jake said. “You busy tonight?”

           Oh, great. He was going to ask her out again. He’d asked her to the Halloween Dance and she’d had to fake family plans to get out of it.

           But she didn’t want to be a jerk. “No,” she said. “Can I have my poster back?”

           “Oh, uh, sure,” Jake said. He held it out, but held onto it and kept talking when she grabbed for it. “Do you want to come explore a creepy old house with Sam and me? It’s that one on 46. You know, the creepy abandoned one. Of course you know. You’ve lived here way longer than me. But, um, Sam was talking, well, not talking, but he told me about it, because he’s way into creepy stuff, and it sounds cool, and if you want to come it would be super cool if you could like, answer so I can stop making a douche out of myself.”

           “Um,” Amanda said, and then her bus pulled away. Jake still hadn’t let go of her poster, and she resigned herself to either an afternoon with Jake’s voice bouncing around in her ears or walking home (and, though it was November, it was North Dakota, and it was cold), so she sighed. “How are we getting there?”

           Jake pointed to Sam, who pulled out his wallet and extracted a driver’s license. He showed it off with no indication that he cared at all about what was going on. He just held it between two-fingers and met her eyes, completely straight-faced. Then he put it back in his wallet, flipping it shut with the finality of a coffin closing. “Sam’s one of those assholes who got his license six months after getting his permit at fourteen. Country kids, man.”

           Amanda, who was also ‘one of those assholes’ that had gotten her license six months after getting her permit at fourteen, didn’t say anything. Jake grimaced, a little, and Amanda took pity on him.

           Even though he was still holding onto her poster.

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday