#i mean i am progressin but...

[paperhandsexe]

we're NOT making it out of the main taskline boys

[celestialtowerarchives]

My heart beat's precarious, it’s scary to see I live quite vicarious, I dare me to leave I live for my bitches, my friends, not for me I care, they care back, but that's hard to believe That’s why I cant talk about the shit I wanna do  They’d feel how you feel now, as I thrust it onto you Let me make it simple, oh so motherfuckin clear I don't know if I’ll make it another fuckin year

Bridges, cars and balconies mean “how can he jump?” Bleach is for my alchemy, but now I be stumped “Surely it aint that bad, you’re just in a slump” Your mind’s just fuckin quieter, you ignorant chump My friends just dont respond when I ask ‘em “what’s good?” So Im stuck here with myself, I’d kill him if I could Man, I’m tryna tell ya, I’ll be motherfuckin blunt I don't know if I’ll be here in another fuckin month

Purely pleasure’s how I measure how my death is progressin’ Merely leisure’s now my treasure, now a deficit’s distressin’ All my life I look for laughter, lest my will to live lessen If it’s new or cool or loving, then it can’t be depressin’ The roulette of “what I want” spins away out of habit The roulette of russian origin spins if I fail to grab it My time on earth is simple, lookin motherfuckin bleak I don’t think Imma be here in another fuckin week

Both sides of me are potent, both are vivid as hell People see just one, but they both live in a cell They’re trapped as I am, only one’s omitted, unwell When I’m bleeding out, unconscious, it’ll be rid of its shell I need friends, one side presents when i hear their voices I need death, suicide takes all other choices My denouement was “life” in this motherfuckin play I don’t think imma wake up in another fuckin day

I just want my buddies, do they want me right back? But I’m nervous, never knowing, they don’t cover my slack Im always takin leads, if they don’t, I might crack Barely ever meetin needs, is their life quite packed? All I know is what I’m told, but the silence disturbs me All I want is you to hold, but this island’s a journey Lavender’s alone, in his motherfuckin tower I don’t think he’ll be waiting in another fuckin hour

My brain’s intact, it ain’t exactly simple to shatter The pain, in fact, remains attacking, impulses scatter The box of oxy was to stop me feeling the latter The half I left to laugh at death is fueling my chatter Failure sucks, success is luck, I’m fucked if I survive So yes, I’m stuck. Unless I struck the crux of stayin alive Do you see my future? I ain’t motherfuckin in it I don’t think Imma miss me in another fuckin minute

Advances taken, makin plans to stake a claim on snoozing No chance mistaken, fakin hands to play like I’m not losing I fear the future more than sutures, ripe for my abusing I overextend past my own end, cause and effect unfusing The bill ain’t paid, the deadline strayed, delayed more than I thought The mess i made has far outweighed my fear of getting caught Whatchu thinkin? It’s too late to motherfuckin check in I’ll be happy, give me just another fuckin second

Everybody gettin dealt and play they hand, I’ll fold I bet I’m better off jettin off than growin old I concede, I can see, my decision’s bold But I’m no longer losing, I’m no longer cold

[syncopxtc]

"You're happy, right?" He's getting married so he must be.

"Ya mean like, all the time? A' course not." But Shinji knows that's not really what he's talking about. "But with Miki? With th' idea a' bein' with one person forever?" He grins and elbows Kensei in the side. Ow. He always forget how much that man is like a tree trunk. "I am. N' I let myself be. I think...I think sometimes we feel like we don't deserve it, ya know? If shit's been real bad for us in the past, why let somethin' good happen, n' let it happen all the way, right? But I got over that." Not that he doesn't need to remind himself sometimes. "Things're...progressin', I take it?"

[cheapcookiez]

HOW DID YOU FOUND YOUR ART STYLE I'M STRUGGLING HELP SENPAI

ah hm..okay it’s a recurrent question . i will tell u exactly how i did and from now, everytime i will get this question, i will give them this huge honest answer °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

i found it while assembling a lot of things i saw during my life.my art style is like a mr potato. waitin’ to see their holes filled out with new ideas.  

i think i can show you some of my researchs.my sketchbooks and even tell u how works mah mind .

 If u want to find an art style, please learn how to understand yourself  before. your art represents yourself. if you’re not clear in your mind. you won’t be clear on the paper.

(⌒▽⌒)☆ So let’s begin

…wait..

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ 

It’s very a big  answer so be ready to click on “keep reading”: 

( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ when i’ve started to draw 4 or well almost 5 years ago. everything was confused in mah mind. The most difficult was to begin. so i started with drawing in a manga style…i drew a lot AND a lot.i was copying entire pages of Tales of symphonia. (my favorite manga and video game).that’s where the passion for fan art started. a good beginning full of passion!

Since that i’ve been moar receptive to some kind of manga. chibi round style was my favorite. magical doremi took a big place in mah kokoro.

The next drawing you’ll see was the beginning of my new art style. and i deeply knew it in mah bones. i was not expecting to draw this.i think it was only luck.

that was …a strange feel. like i was enjoyin’ it so much that i could draw it every.single.day. 

That was not exceptionnal. but i felt like nobody could draw like that. except me.(there is the over confidence part of a art newbie. follow this feel like it was your last chance.u need to not give up.u did the most difficult part so far! follow your intuition ! this little rainbow in your mind ! )

i kept drawing. again. and again. for months and  freakin’ months. 

i was certainly inspired of tim burton for the chibis and the headshots, if my memory doesn’t say shit,the artist is reapersun.

I was at a point i knew i had to take risks. It’s when, i accepted requests from ppl on deviantart . I couldn’t work alone. so i accepted everything. 

everything.

 Even miku hatsune dancing the gangnam style. 」(￣▽￣」)

i was also on a french forum, and ppl were giving meh a lot of reviews. that was helpful and that’s when i understood i needed a community for progressin’. compliments,opinions,reviews. YOU NEED THAT. accept them and shut your mouth. they’re right. put your pride somewhere else. and accept to see ppl better than you at something.〔´∇｀〕

At some points, i was also giving reviews. that was huge. like 3 or 4 open office pages for a small drawing.it took me hours but it’s important to kno’ how to give a review to somewahn bc that makes u think about their art and yours as well. training ur eyes to spot the mistakes.

i was drawing a lot of fan arts of their characters. They were only potato/egg-characters. that helped me to find a digital color style when i bought my first tablet.

btw,i waited 1 year and half before buying mah smol wacom. I prefered to keep practicing on paper. if you can’t draw properly on paper. digital won’t help u. it’s not a magic trick that makes ppl talented. ≡(*′▽`)っ

i have way moar respect for traditionnal artists. sooo much respect.u don’t even kno’.

(then…at this point, i was drawing for almost 2 years i thiiink.)

that’s when i started to extrapolate EVERYTHING. Colors, anatomy,expressions .( Everythin’ i ‘m drawing during this kind of practice period is wrong. extremely wrong and full of mistakes. But i have to do this bc i put so much energy into mah artworks that i can’t think properly until i’m mentally exhausted. (it’s completely personal,but i need to be broken af for understanding how pitiful i am and finaaally letting myself learning something new. ) )

so,when i’m completely exhausted(it’s a very heartful moment,like a huge art block),i leave my artworks in a corner,i don’t touch it for hours,days,weeks or sometimes months.nobody can touch it .except me and i analyze and re analyze them until i completely hate what i do bc i found all the mistakes. 

At this moment, i’m ready for experimenting again, learn from my mistakes and move on.

Sometimes we need to take risks and get out of our comfort zone !!! just.fuckin. DO IT. it’s toxic to stay in our comfort zone for too long . 8;A;8

An exemple of extrapolated drawing: Too much colors, too big arms / legs, too shiny,too weird and unlogical.We can’t understand. but whatever. it’s the beginning of something new! 

as smol addition to what i’ve said before, this is at this moment i can figure out my real problems .it’s only when i’m emotionallynot attached to mah art anymoar that i can finally produce something new .

However, i don’t personally give a fuck to tutorials,i’m too lazy for that. i have to discover everythin’ by mahself. (but this. it’s misplaced pride. so don’t do that .plz.learn from the others ,you won’t lose time like meh.)

Also.if u want to find ur art style , u need to not forget ur art references.  ໒( ͡ᵔ ▾ ͡ᵔ )७

 create your own influence map !

i worship mainly  two gorgeous artists :

Ephyse and C2ndyAc1d:

NEVER FORGET WHERE U COME FROM. NEVER DENY IT .it’s your past. it’s as important as your future.it’s a part of your artistic identity. OAO

no joke, it’s absolutely essential. thanks them for their hard work. it’s thanks to them if you’ve discovered your own art as well.

Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ and now ,if i show u mah art, can u spot the references? : 

anatomy ,candy’ :

colors,ephyse  :

After that. if u think you’re done…. u r eeextremely wrong. It’s where ppl usually stop.don’t do that. i kno’ so many artists who stopped right there. It’s bad bc they have SO MUCH potential.

“ What ppl see is not what i really do”.it’s a very personal phrase i keep in my heart. when i show somethin’ ‘’new’’ on internet or to my friends,in fact, it’s old for me. i’m already workin’ on something else in my corner. Bc do u remember waht i said before? that takes sometimes months to let ppl see my real art.

the practice NEVER ends. like neveh.  ヾ(´▽｀;)ゝ

put your pride somewhere else,it’s time to get back on the practice train.

here is asumiko nakamiro,one of my favorite artists as well. i love the anatomy of her characters. such lovely art style.

well, it’s awful,but it’s time to get inspired again.

//cries// Now u see how shitty u can be HmmMMm. a new challenge accepted.

And i have A TON of sketchbooks full of awful sketches that i will never show to anyone.

__________

Not everythin’ is on my table,i have waaaay more sketchbooks and it’s only traditional but there is certainly 2 years of practice in front of you. Don’t need to tell u but everythin’ is full ofc .i also finished a new wahn this week. plz remind meh to buy another one.

I also have THE HUGE CHANCE to have comic student artists as friends and they sometimes lend to me comic books(O3O ~LAST MAN. MAH LIL FAVORITE URG. ). I wish i had more place,but i read a lot of books ! i love goin’ to the library and read everythin’ i can ‘til my head hurts haha. (and LOOK ,”astemio”the book on the right ! i participated to this fanzine. oh boi.i’m so proud even if mah art in there is so shitty )

In short.

i’m constantly drawing and experimenting. that’s how i found mah art style. （=´∇｀=）

and actually, for ppl who still read. i’m about to take a break from tumblr and the youtube community bc i can’t experiment as i would like . i want to draw my ocs, create stuff and i’m stuck with youtubers fan art. i need a creative break.

If you need moar informations on mah art style or anythin’ else, feel free to ask meh. i tried mah best to explain even if it’s really personal.

Never give up,find ur own way of thinking and practicin’. goddamit plz, trust ur intuition.trust your art taste and don’t draw what ppl would like to see. 

If i was doing that, i would draw some semi realistic post apo’ stuff. And even if i rly appreciate that drawn by mah friends. it’s clearly not my thing. 

also.MY BIGGEST ADVICE FOR ALL OF YOU . LEARN THAT BEFORE CRYING :

(￣▽￣)ノHAVING UR OWN ART STYLE  MEANS THAT PEOPLE MIGHT GENUINELY NOT LIKE IT. COMPLETELY HATE IT OR FALL IN LOVE WITH. IT S SO RANDOM AND YOU CAN T BLAME ANYONE FOR THAT.

U CAN T SATISFY EVERYWAHN. PLZ. MAKE SURE TO KEEP THIS IN MIND.HANG UP. IT S NOT YOUR FAULT. WE ALL HAVE OUR PREFERENCES. (ノ*゜▽゜*)

That’s it.  hope that was helpful !cool cool ! g-good luck!

[jasmineroseseverything]

What I gotta do so a nigga could

love me Been spreading my legs

for too long

Im Being so naive

How could I believe When they tell me they don't

want no one. else But me I gotta stop this fuckin cycle because it's startin to

feed off me I thought I could express my loyalty

sexually without him taking advantage

of me I'm tired of meeting

the same men who

only want one thing Am I worthy of love I fall to my knees Surrendering to gods Love Ready to walk his path willingly I'm in search

for love but the search is killing me He told me I was pessimistic Suffering

from Negative thinking And I believed him for a second Turns out it happened again

I should've known to get a second opinion from a friend But I chose to listen to what he said Those words had no meaning It was all just pretend And in the end I'm all alone Wondering what I did wrong Got me singin the same sad song

Feelin quick relief from a couple hits of a bong So I can Tame my depression that's been progressin for too long And damn I thought u was true Even sending me loaded words Shit it was More than a few Even asked me to meet your dad I had no fuckin clue that you were a liar Lookin me in the eyes while u tellin me you were mine Hittin it from behind Told me it would be an honor to have me by your side How could you lie How could you lie I swear these niggas eating me alive And I'm letting them Cuz I'm already dead inside My heart is gone I have nothing to lose I got nothing to hide So fuck it There ain't no sunshine Only cloudy days That happy part of me already died

We already parted ways

[blakanblutywiip]

Blessing

Look I feel blessed Way up, I feel blessed Way up, I feel blessed I live the life I deserve, blessed Fuck a vacay I feel better at work I mean whatever it's worth, I give whatever I'm worth For my niggas who gon' go to Hell and back for me I'mma give 'em Heaven on Earth Or a hell of a check, yeah, whichever come first Blessings on blessings on blessings Look at my life, man, that's lessons on lessons on lessons I treat the beat like it's a reverend I tell the truth like father, forgive me, these are all my confessions Man, this wasn't luck, it was destined I done lost homies who been with me since Ed, Edd n Eddy Who flip like confetti And then when you back, they back to call you "dog" That shit get-get petty, bitch, don't give no dap to me, nigga Funny thing about talking behind my back Is that it just keep coming back to me, nigga Was off for a sec, now it's back to me, nigga, you mad at me This ain't what I want, man, this what it had to be This is that late night working after three, man This is why my old girl was mad at me This why I'm your majesty, man The clique is the tightest, the pussy the tightest The drinks are the coldest, the future the brightest The feat not divided, the love is divided And I just gotta thank God that we got it Blessed I don't know what I would do without it Crew look like we robbed a bank, but all we make is deposits Your prophet will profit, oh God I'm here for a good time, not a long time, you know I I haven't had a good time in a long time, you know I I'm way up, I feel blessed Way up, I feel blessed  I'm way up, I feel blessed  Way up, I feel blessed Look, I ain't gon' say that we back or nothing ‘Cause that implies that we're back from something If we're back from somethin' there's some checks you owe us I expect that payment, nothing less or over I don't need them favors that you ask me for I could give two fucks 'bout where the Grammys go I just gave out Grammys on my Instagram Them OVO boys, the business man It is what it is, trust me, you get what you give, yeah You gotta come to my side and see how we live, yeah I cannot see Heaven being much better than this, yeah Blessings on blessings for me and my niggas from the 6 Look at what we did, yeah Be quiet, I'm doing a toast For niggas that don't really do shit, I swear, y'all be doing the most Stop worrying 'bout whoever's next I am just worried 'bout my mama worrying less I think I'm famous enough, I don't need any more press I am convinced I'm the only one left That's still doing this shit, man I'm here for a good time, not a long time, you know I I haven't had a good time in a long time, you know I I'm way up, I feel blessed Way up, I feel blessed  I'm way up, I feel blessed  Way up, I feel blessed My grandma just died, I'm the man of the house So every morning I'm up ‘cause I can't let them down, down Always down for the cause, never down for the count I guess when your stars align You do like the solar system and plan it out So I'm going over time, on the overtime Yeah, I'm that invested, but you can't attest it Million dollar goals, managed to manifest it The family never going anorexic I pay mom mortgage and electric Never going under even with anesthetics At the top of the rap game and progressin' Check after check, checking off my check list Try and blow my cake, just know that's a death wish No mistakes in life ever, it's only lessons Shit feel like Shaq and Penny got back together You tore the game apart, who put it back together? I I'm here for a good time, not a long time, you know I I haven't had a good time in a long time, you know I I'm way up, I feel blessed Way up, I feel blessed  I'm way up, I feel blessed  I'm way up, I feel blessed Since the truth keep niggas traumatized They tryna compromise my condom size So I Snapchat that whole shit Tryna see titties, tryna show dick And I swear to God I hope they post it I'm blessed Even though I get slammed with lawsuits like car doors See three P.O.'s like Star Wars They want me by the road holding up cardboard So I go extra hard on the hard floor Right now, I'm calling you from my home gym Right after that, nigga, I'm gon' swim Just did a couple laps in my home pool And my daughter right there getting home-schooled I'm blessed And I was thinking 'bout starting up my own school A Montessori And the hallway looking like a monastery, oh yes I'm way up, I feel blessed

[movedtomadrid-blog]

Week 2.... and a bit

Well, I had been hoping to have things a bit more sorted before I wrote this ( and they are progressin) but it´s why it´s been a few days late... I know all of you (who I´m going to force to ready this by sending you the link) have been really missing it, so I hope you´re ready...  here we go!

First things first... I GOT MY NIE it was just over a week ago now so the excitement has worn off a little, but unlike the other three times this one was easy. Rocked up at 10.30, got a ticket number, sat down, 5 minutes later and I see the lady, give her my form and BOOM! I get back my NIE. That’s it!... OK, not quite. I have to have an official appointment, pay the same €10 tax again and get an offical green piece of paper... but it´s much easier (I hope)

The excitement of getting the piece of paper was slightly dampened by having man flu all last week. I mean, it wasn´t the worst kind, but for a first week of work, it wasn´t ideal. That said, work has gone well... I´ve already got stressed, started muttering FFS and being myself which seems to be OK, so that´s a relief. I´ve got shit off people for being old and I´ve made a team meeting take place in English even though there are only two of us out of 14 who aren´t fluent in Spanish... so good to be practicising the British colonial skills ;)

Check out this photo of a street I liked... yeah, it is literally just a street I like:

What else... well I joined a football team and we´ve played twice now... Weirdly I´ve scored in both games (keepers here must be pants) but we lost both so that´s been pretty tough to take.. new team mates seem nice though and I even got to offer some advice on the NIE to one... (I doubt this is the last time you´ll hear of the NIE). I´ve found a garage for my motorbike and am hopefully signing a lease on an appartment tonight... yep, I got keys for my bikes house before my own... Priorities! 

I got my first haircut in Spain... it was interesting, as is the haircut, but we got by. Hopfully by the next time I´ll be able to explain a bit more about what I want to do to help cover up the growing bald spot ;)

I think the biggest thing for me was that last week, being ill, I pretty much came to work, went home, watched TV and then went to bed... Not a fun week in many ways, and could have felt lonely given I didn´t interact with anyone outside of work, but it was OK... If I can get through that kind of week and be happy to be here then I figure even in the odd rough week, I´ll be good! :)

Also spotted this awesome graffiti that´s just round the corner from me (I´ve walked past it about 10 times before really “seeing” it:

Oh and then a mate from London and mate from “the Wood” were out in Madrid randomly so was really nice to hangout with them in my new ´hood!. 

This weekend I´m off to the mountains with my new work buddies for a company retreat - apparently it will be down to -9, so if you don´t hear from me again, you know why! I DID NOT come to Spain for cold weather!

Follow my Insta here - https://www.instagram.com/haydnthepowerreece/?hl=e

[simplesammy-blog]

Blessings.

Look, I feel blessed Way up I feel blessed, way up I feel blessed Straight up [Verse 1 - Sammy:] I live the life I deserve, bless Fuck a vaca' I feel better at work I mean whatever it's worth I give whatever I'm worth For my niggas brothers who gonna go to Hell and back for me I'mma give em Heaven on Earth for a hell of a check Yeah whichever come first Blessings on blessings on blessings Look at my life man that's lessons on lessons on lessons I treat the beat like it's a reverend I tell the truth like father forgive me these are all my confessions Man this wasn't luck it was destined I done lost homies who been with me since Ed, Edd, and Eddy Who flip like confetti and then when you back they back to call you dog That shit get get petty, bitch don't give no dap to me nigga Funny thing about talkin' behind my back Is that it just keep comin' back to me nigga Was off for a sec now it's back to me nigga You mad at me, this ain't what I want man this what it had to be This is that late night workin' after three Man this is why my old girl was mad at me This why I'm your majesty Man, the clique is the tightest, the pussy's the tightest The drinks are the coldest, the future the brightest The feat not divided, the love is divided And I just gotta, thank God that we got it, blessed I don't know what I would do without it Crew look like we robbed a bank, but all we make is deposits Your profit we profit, oh God

[Hook - Drake:] I'm here for a good time not a long time, you know I I haven't had a good time in a long time, you know I I'm way up I feel blessed, way up I feel blessed straight up I'm way up I feel blessed straight up, straight up, way up I feel blessed [Verse 2 - Drake:] Look, I ain't gonna say that we back or nothin' Cause that implies that we're back from somethin' If we're back from somethin' it's some checks you owe us I expect that payment, nothin' less or over I don't need them favors that you ask me for I could give two fucks 'bout where the Grammies go I just gave out Grammies on my Instagram Them OVO boys the business man It is what it is, trust me you get what you give You gotta come to my side and see how we live I cannot see Heaven bein' much better than this Blessings on blessings from me and my niggas from the Six Look at what we did Be quiet I'm doin' a toast For niggas that don't really do shit I swear y'all be doin' the most Stop worryin' about whoever's next I am just worried about my mama worryin' less I think I'm famous enough, I don't need anymore press I am convinced I'm the only one left that's still doin' this shit man [Hook - Drake] [Verse 3 - Sammy:] My grandma just died I'm the man of the house So every mornin' I'm up cause I can't let them down, down Always down for the cause, never down for the count I guess when your stars align you do like the solar system and plan it out So I'm goin' overtime on the overtime Yeah I'm not invested but you can't attest it Million dollar goals, man it's to manifest it The family never goin' anorexic I pay my mortgage and electric Never goin' under even with anesthetics At the top of the rap game and progressin' Check after check, checkin' off my check list Try and blow my cake just know that's a death wish No mistakes in life ever, it's only lessons Shit feel like Shaq and Penny got back together You tore the game apart who put it back together [Hook - Drake] [Verse 4 - Kanye West:] Since the truth keep niggas traumatized They tryna compromise my condom size So I Snapchat that whole shit Tryna see titties, tryna show dick And I swear to God I hope they post it, I'm blessed Even though I get slammed with lawsuits like car doors C3POs like Star Wars They want me by the road holdin' up cardboard So I go extra hard on the hard floor Right now callin' you from my home gym Right after that, nigga I'm gon' swim Just did a couple laps in my home pool And my daughter right there gettin' homeschooled I'm blessed, and I was thinkin' 'bout startin' up my own school A Montessori, and the hallway lookin' like a monastery Oh yes I'm way up, I feel blessed

Big Sean ft. Drake & Kanye West.