#i may or may not have a crush on this cartoon dog

[emacrow]

That would've awoken something in the back of Bane's genetic due to him being borned latin american. That this tall but still tiny orange haired lady smite him into the down as quickly and easily like a crushed can of soda.

Oh no..

Oh no...

Oh nu....

He gained a crush.

Afterward on the his next future escape, he is just trying (not to act shy) asking Harlequin or poison ivy on advice on how to ask a lady out probably... whom are trying very hard to not laugh.. after harlequin stop nearly dying from laughter on the floor.

This strong hunk of a man has no experience whatsoever with women in the dating area since he is a criminal and his father is the king snake.

Poor man have to suffer through dating advice books, good but also not so tips from harlequin and poison ivy. He is not shoving her in a vat full of chemicals!, but the flower in a pot would be a good start...

Meta Jazz, the Arkham Intern Therapist

I'm going to go ahead and apologize for how OOC Bane is in this. It originally was Joker but I couldn't see Jazz tolerating his proximity for more than a single millisecond so Bane it is.

~*~*~

The hardest thing about being a Meta in Gotham was responding appropriately during a Rouge's attack, Jazz mused to herself. Or perhaps that was just the hardest part about being a Meta intern at Arkham while studying psychology at Gotham University. Or maybe it was just her, she considered watching the guards and Dr. Rylie whom she'd been shadowing for the past 2 weeks wide eyed, pale, and shaking as theybstared at Bane behind her. It must just be her, Jazz decided, newbie guard Kyle Jennings was definitely a Meta after all. She should probably give him some tips on hiding his enhanced strength considering how often he broke mugs, door handles, and other delicate items used in daily life.

"Weapons down or I'll snap her skinny little neck." Bane growled out, shaking her slightly for emphasis. She very much doubted that. Liminials were built different than the standard Meta, stronger, faster, better endurance, and senses even if they could mostly appear to be standard humans on the outside.  As such, their bones and muscles were much were much denser than regular humans or even Meta humans. Technically, she could be considered "invulnerable" much like the Kryptonians are.

"Back up! Let him through!" Dr. Rylie  shouted at the guards. "She's my student! Let him through!" His voice was higher pitched than she could recall hearing it before.

Ah. That was panic.

Jazz sighed involuntarily and glanced over her shoulder at Bane. Why the man had grabbed the only person close to his own height nearby was a mystery to her - no, nevermind, he clearly meant to use her as a shield - but it made looking him in the eye more difficult than necessary.

"Mr. Bane, remove your hands from my person, please." Jazz stated calmly, channeling what Danny called her inner mom as she spoke. "I will give you to one to comply."

Bane looked stunned for a moment then laughed.

"Five."

The laughing continued. Jazz could sense a stir of uncertainty through her colleagues as they looked on.

"Four."

"Did you really think that would work?" Bane snorted out, arms tensing more around her.

"Three." She continued, indifferent to his words from her experiences raising her brother. Once the count down starts you mustn't respond to anything the kids do or say until they comply or the count is done.

"What cab you even do if I don't?" Bane asked darkly breathing directly in her ear. She kept her face expressionless despite the urge to express disgust.

"Two."

"Jasmine..."  Kyle whispered halfway across the hall from her looking on with a pained and horrified expression. Gun tilting towards the floor. Sloppy.

"One." She finished and Bane gave a derisive snort.

Then she was moving. Hauling the enormous man up and over her shoulder using the arm that had been wrapped around her neck. Bane hit the cold tile hard enough that the tiles, subfloor, structural supports, and part of the concrete foundation buckled beneath him. His shoulder popped out of joint, his wrist cracked - a hairline fracture by the sound of it -  and his breath was punched out of him from the force of impact. She released his arm as soon as his was embedded in the tiles and moved forward. Kneeling over him, support most of her weight on her left foot resting on the broken ground, her right knees pressed firmly across his throat without supporting any of her weight. The position put more strain on her muscles than she would've liked but at least Bane couldn't risk fighting back without crushing his own neck in the process. He could hardly throw her while flat on his back with a mangled arm.

"Now," Jazz began, looking directly into the behemoth's pained eyes. "Do you know what you've done wrong?" She asked like she would have done with Danny as a child.

"Yes, Ma'am." Bane choked out. Jazz heard movement and murmuring behind her. She didn't turn to look.

"What did you do wrong?" She asked. It was important to make sure children correctly understood why they were in trouble after all. There was a long pause as Bane appeared to cast around for the exact right answer as if he feared getting it wrong. A bad habit Danny still uses as well, Jazz thought to herself.

"I tried to hold you hostage," He choked out in a rush, words tumbling over one another as he tried to get them all out. "I scared you coworkers and it was very disrespectful."

So he'd gone for the grab-bag response. It wasn't wrong per sey but it did indicate a past history of abuse. The type of answer given by someone who expected to be harmed or ignored if they gave the "wrong" answer. Danny tended to use that method also and their parents had always been negligent at best.

"And are you going to do it again?" She asked giving him a Look as she did. Bane's eyes widened and he tried to frantically shake his head as much as possible with the pressure on his neck.

"No, Ma'am." He promised fervently.

"Alright then," Jazz said giving him a warm smile. She gestured vaguely towards the guards without turning to look at them. "Kyle here is going to take you to see the nurse and then back to your room then. I'm sure you'll behave for him?"

"Yes, Ma'am. I'll behave." Bane said. Jazz stood slowly asking sure not to put any additional pressure on his neck as she did. Kyle came and stood next to her as the giant of a man slowly pulled himself to his feet then led him away with 5 other guards.

Jazz heaved a sigh. Well, time to find out whether or not she could play all that off as normal, non-Meta human behavior.

[goshen-applecrumbledore]

Hey Roni! Hope you are well ☺️

Anything in the works lately? Maybe just been working on the mysterious novel I’ve seen referenced?

(Or just taking the days as they come at you like I am?)

Was re-reading one of your fics recently and had a curiosity moment

Best wishes!

hello! I am [david byrne voice] letting the days go by

I wish I could say I've been working on my novel as much as I've meant to, but I'm not. but I AM thinking about it, so that's something.

I'm also not actively working on fic though, which has been freeing, but also a little terrifying. whenever I have an idle moment I'm thinking about dialogue and writing in my head and it's been super strange to not have that going on. I think I was doing it pretty obsessively, in a way that was productive but unhealthy. so: trying to empty my brain to give me space to think about my novel and its new characters.

with all that being said (lol) I do have some on-hold-but-not-abandoned WIPs I can list here to give ya something to chew on

WIP summaries under the cut!

a second short true detective fic where marty gets off on danger and exhibitionism and keeps getting rust into dangerous and sexy situations. this is not an established relationship fic which I think makes it very funny as a concept

a second house md fic from cameron's POV for whatever reason. set shortly pre-S1, she joins the team and has a crush on house, and house is with wilson and has been for some time, which is like an open secret. so it's a voyeur/nosy thing where cameron goes full fujo. she's just like me fr

another bear fic as a kind of sequel to no good days (probably like, a very-much-a-sequel actually) where richie + carmy tell natalie about their relationship. the main part I've come up with is that they go over to nat and pete's for dinner, and they're parked outside making out in the car to steel their nerves, and pete sees them. so then they have to start dinner with nat and pete where pete, richie and carmy all know that carmy and richie are hooking up, and nat does not. sitcom-ass plot

this one may be abandoned: a pre-series spn fic where john finds out that sam and dean are fucking and sam like, big-dogs him into not busting their balls about it. I was thinking about spn the other day and was like damn maybe I should finish that

this is not a fic but I had a horny dream about brock samson from the venture bros last night and that is weighing heavily on my mind. all my current fandoms are live action. however. you can take the player out of the game but you can't take the take the Wanting To Fuck Cartoon Characters out of the player.

this is also not a fic but I'm working on my first D&D campaign with barry + co. players get roped into doing dirty work for the wizard mafia, headed by the nefarious skogie chromecast, a smooth talking mage with a shady past.

thank you if you read all that!

[sighed-the-snake]

Crack theory.

Banana fish gorilla shoelace with a dash of nutmeg.

Excerpts from the book, too lazy for page numbers

Banana = Warlock.

When Warlock was ten he liked baseball; he liked plastic toys that transformed into other plastic toys indistinguishable from the first set of plastic toys except to the trained eye; he liked his stamp collection; he liked banana-flavor bubble gum; he liked comics and cartoons and his B.M.X. bike.

Fish = Greasy Johnson.

But Greasy Johnson had never found a sport that suited him. He was instead secretly devoted to his collection of tropical fish, which won him prizes. Greasy Johnson was the same age as Adam Young, to within a few hours, and his parents had never told him he was adopted. See? You were right about the babies.

Gorilla = Second Coming.

“Whole sea bubbling, poor old dolphins so much seafood gumbo, no one giving a damn. Same with gorillas. Whoops, they say, sky gone all red, stars crashing to ground, what they putting in the bananas these days? And then—”

Shoelace = Adam.

Adam brightened. “Oh, tomorrow’ll be all right,” he pronounced. “They’ll have forgotten about it by then. You’ll see. They always do.” He looked up at them, a scruffy Napoleon with his laces trailing, exiled to a rose-trellissed Elba. “You all go,” he told them, with a brief, hollow laugh. “Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be all right. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

and

And if you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot . . . no, imagine a sneaker, laces trailing, kicking a pebble; imagine a stick, to poke at interesting things, and throw for a dog that may or may not decide to retrieve it; imagine a tuneless whistle, pounding some luckless popular song into insensibility; imagine a figure, half angel, half devil, all human . . . Slouching hopefully towards Tadfield. . . . . . . forever.

Nutmeg = The events at Sodom and Gomorrah.

“Come off it. Your lot get ineffable mercy,” said Crowley sourly. “Yes? Did you ever visit Gomorrah?” “Sure,” said the demon. “There was this great little tavern where you could get these terrific fermented date-palm cocktails with nutmeg and crushed lemongrass—” “I meant afterwards.” “Oh.”

Aren't these things mentioned plenty of other times in the book?

Sort of.

Lots of mentions of fish, but only one connected to a character.**

A few interesting mentions of bananas, but again, only one personally attributed to a character.

But the only two mentions of shoelaces belong to Adam.

The sole mention of Nutmeg is associated with large swaths of humans getting murdered by Heaven.

Gorillas are only mentioned when Crowley and Aziraphale were discussing the end of the world.

(** There is one other character associated with fish, and that's Greaser, one of the bikers. He has FISH and CHIP tattooed across his knuckles. Greaser. Greasy Johnson. Both greasy and fishy. I'd say it still fits. Maybe Greaser is foreshadowing of Greasy Johnson's future as a bully; that's for another meta.)

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

Don't know. Maybe it foreshadows the events of S3, that the three boys are going to be heavily involved in the oncoming disaster, and (due to the phrase's connection to deception/magic tricks) they are going to pull a fast one on Heaven and Hell that no one expects.

Maybe the story begins with Warlock and Greasy, then the Second Coming business heats up, and Adam doesn't get involved until the end, when the world needs defending. After all, Adam has done this before.

[rodolfoparras]

Anyways, a second ask in a row because I didn't want to also add my oc talk to the other one

Grumpy, drunk, and tired Price all pissy because Gaz and Everett are helping him brush his teeth and shower up because he smells like the pub

Only for them to rub his muscles and loosen him up in bed so he's not so grumpy going to bed, pulling at least 4 little orgasms from him (two for both of them) before wiping him up and cuddling him to bed, he's out like a light and snoring (they'll clean him up again in the morning, especially if he's hungover)

And OF COURSE, Everett loves sleepy cuddle sex, very willing to let you do what ever you want with him or to do whatever you want him to do to him. May not be a talker normally but will be very vocal and sweet during sleepy sex 🫶 very sweet after too. Tea, some food, helps you to the bathroom and washes you up, loads of kisses as he rubs out any knots in your muscles, whatever you need, he's on it 🗣️‼️ but are you okay pooks? Would you like to talk about it?

Soap gets banned from doing laundry other than his own and Everett also ends up doing his own because he is taking NO chances. Ghost wears the pink shirts and glares at Soap the whole time

The dogs are cool when they're quiet and chill, like any of the boys in the living room, so Soap can creep over and pet them a little bit without reactions from the dogs. Does not like being outside in the field when Ghost and Everett play with them, which they wind up just taking the dogs for a walk around town instead so Soap's not too frightened with the dogs being crazy so close by

Soap is a little goofball, can see him putting little hats on the cats and they just play along with it, strutting some goofy hat

Everett does love when his boys coo at him🤭 yeah he's a traumatized war criminal but he loves being their bunny! (He loves when Gaz and Soap do it especially because of their accents + voices, Soap will coo in Scottish and Gaz just has a way with words) but he doesn't say it aloud, he's embarrassed but they all know because he wears the bunny balaclava anyways

One time I took a half of two different edibles and got soo fucked. My vision felt like those old cartoons where they'd zoom the picture out until the screen went black and it happened every time I blinked. I also harassed the hell out my bf, was yearning soo hard.

But I can see something like that happening to Price so he just drinks a bit instead when the boys wanna get high and monitors them throughout it. Makes sure they're eating and drinking water through giggle fits

Also, Everett and Price frotting while both a little tipsy??? Rubbing their cock(lets) together while all flushed pink and panting??? Get Everett drunk at a bar and you risk indecent exposure before bro is already in Price's lap grinding on him, he is ready to fuck him right there (probably fucks him on the car ride home while someone else drives)

also Everett who's got a little crush on Rudy?? (Projecting 😊 I love you Rudy) So while Price and Alejandro relax together and have a drink during a visit, both their boys are sat at their feet kissing and riding each other while moaning and whining (it's Everett who's whining, would let Rudy dominate tf outta him)

You're so real btw for imagining Price doing that to you ✋ those videos are so hot, so jealous of both of them

Bringing petplay back because it's probably my favorite kink/scene (I've definitely been a little insane to Charlie about petplay with Graves and Jeff 🧍‍♂️)

Soap with a muzzle(he bites hard w/ sharp canines) and a wolfs tail plug (irony 😋) and ears to match, Everett with the bunny theme, mmmaybe Ghost with a bear or maybe cat theme and Price, Roach, and Gaz all talking care of them?

Ugh imagining one of the boys (Price) telling Soap to open wide and pissing in his mouth through the muzzle as it splatters from hitting the bars 🫢

Everett riding or cock warming something the whole time, probably sucking someone off at the same time (probably Gaz whos playing and tugging on his overgrown buzzcut)

Roach who soothes a grumbly Ghost, coaxes him into it slowly and lets him watch everything until he gets needy, letting Roach fuck him even if he bites and growls until his brains all mushy (please forgive my spelling, I'm dyslexic and auto correct isn't helping 😭)

ANYWAYS 🫢🧍‍♂️

Who said all that 🏃‍♂️💨💨

Can't contain oc + poly 141 horny thoughts

I'm like that one screaming cat with it's head in it's paws

-🐧

THEY ARE LIVING MY DREWM LIFE I also want to pamper price and fuck him to sleep and then wake him up with more sex before pampering him all over again🧎🏻‍♂️

Oh I love when someone is talkative during sleepy sex bc you can talk about your day or about anything at all and anything they ask of you sounds so sweet coming out their mouth 🧎🏻‍♂️I’m okay sugar bee! I’m waiting for my docs to prescribe me my calming meds but for now I’m not feeling anxious or anything thankfully 🫶🏻

Soap getting matching outfits with the cats and dogs 😭 he’s more inclined to match with the cats but the more he grows comfortable with the dogs the more he starts matching their clothes with his

Oh Jesus that sounds like a trip but I’m glad your bf was there 😭 even tho the poor man had to put up with harassment/ j

Hello I’m kicking my legs and twirling my hair the thought of subs making out in front of their doms🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️

Wait the muzzle… pissing in their mouth while wearing it I am listening 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 or watching the pathetically trying to get closer to your crotch but can’t bc of the muzzle 🧎🏻‍♂️also leashes hello? Id let price prance me around I mean who said that :/

[rosyrosethorns]

random but: my slightly-biased comparison of the soviet 1988 treasure island cartoon and its official english dub

୨ ——- ♡ ——- ୧

voice acting:

Jim Hawkins:

OG rus: 4/5

eng dub: 2/5

OG isn’t the first voice i wouldve chosen for teenage jim, but his lines in the eng dub are consistently delivered in a flat tone and i hate it ghh

Dr. Livesy:

OG rus: 5/5

eng dub: 4.5/5

i may be biased because i have a crush on him. but. his eng dub’s not that bad, the laugh just doesnt sound genuine like the OG.

Squire Trelawney:

OG rus: 2/5

eng dub: 5/5

OG voice is as annoying to me as eng jim, im sorry, i just highly prefer his eng dub.

Captain Smollet:

OG rus: 5/5

eng dub: 3/5

i have no idea why they chose a voice similar to OG trelawney for his eng dub. hes stubborn, yeah, but dub makes him sound more pathetic than he really is.

John Silver:

OG rus: 5/5

eng dub: 4/5

i appreciate that they made sure he didnt raise his voice too much in the eng dub, but his OG voice is still the best.

Ben Gunn:

OG rus: 5/5

eng dub: 3/5

i HATED gunn’s song they edited into the eng dub, since they removed all the live-action bits. and the poor voice-acting made it worse to listen to.

Billy Bones:

OG rus: 4/5

eng dub: 5/5

not much to say here. same with black dog and pew. just a similar reason with trelawney.

Black Dog:

OG rus: 3/5

eng dub: 5/5

Blind Pew:

OG rus: 4/5

eng dub: 5/5

Additional voices:

OG rus and eng dub: both 4/5

୨ ——- ♡ ——- ୧

sound design:

SFX:

OG rus: 4/5

eng dub: 5/5

felt like there was too much music and not enough SFX in the OG

Music:

OG rus: 5/5

eng dub: 4/5

୨ ——- ♡ ——- ୧

and, of course, eng dub gets a 2/5 for their poor editing

but tbh thats all just my opinion

[daemonwritesstuff]

Short (No, LONG) introduction of your favorite writer (Me, Jaxrel) behind the screen! ╰(*´︶`*)╯

My name(s): I’m usually called Jaxrel or Jax, but I also love being called by Himawari, Rin, Eden or Luke too! Whatever nickname is easy for you to call me by then go wild!

Identity: I use he/him pronouns, but I’m also cool with people using they/them pronouns on me as well, but I do like using more masculine pronouns for my comfort :,)

I have been professionally diagnosed with Autism, ADHD, BPD, Schizophrenia and OCD, I am a little bit more severe with my Autism (but not so high, ifykwim) so I may not understand a lot of social cues or tones in words or voices and etc, so just be mindful of this please and be kind to me and also everyone :)

I am a trans man, im pansexual, polyamorous, aromatic & asexual, I have a preference towards men more than woman (:

I’m Polish, Middle Eastern (Iraqi), & Filipino with some Scottish, I currently live in Baghdad, Iraq, I also live in America too.

Likes: Anthropology, zoology, pathology, theology, astronomy, writing, history/science, soccer, basketball, volleyball, art(painting, pottery, digital art, sketching, etc), cats, sharks, anime/manga, vocaloid/UTAU, k/j-pop, vkei, plushies, figurines, stuffed animals, puppetry, tabletop RPGS, gaming, rhythm games, documentaries, youtube, twitch, skateboarding, sweets, asian cuisine, iced coffee, boba tea, dancing, cleaning, musicals, collecting many things, rain, horror, and so much more!

Dislikes: hot weather, bitter tastes or smells, feeling restricted, pessimism.

Favorite Video Games: I do have a lot I play but here are the ones I really enjoy playing… Persona5(more), Danganronpa, OMORI, Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Honaki Impact 3rd, Zenless Zero Zone, NieR: Automata, Hollow Knight, Final Fantasy 7, TWST, Obey Me!, Tears Of Themis, Mystic Messenger, Sally Face and more!

Favorite Animes: Neon Genesis Evangelion, Bungo Stray Dogs, Vanitas no Carte, Jujustu Kaisen, Demon Slayer, Blue Lock, Black Butler, Death Note, Chainsaw Man, Tokyo Revengers, TBHK, Toradora, Oshi No Ko, A Silent Voice, Doukyuusei, JJBA, Sk8 The Infinity, Food Wars, Assassination Classroom, Hunter X Hunter, Devilman Crybaby, Banana Fish, Serial Experiments Lain, Monster, Soul Eater, Magical Girl Madoka, Akudama Drive and more

Favorite Movies/Shows/Cartoons: Mean Girls, The Great Gatsby, Breaking Bad, Any Marvel Movies, AlRawabi School For Girls, Girl From Nowhere, Alice In Borderland, Stranger Things, Heartstopper, Breaking Bad, Total Drama Llama, South Park, Adventure Time, Gravity Falls & More

Other Media: Heavens Offical Blessing, Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss, Cherry Crush, Creepypasta, The Mandela Catalog, SCP Foundation, Flicker (Roblox), Sanatorium (Roblox), The Walten Files, The Evillous Chronicles, Homestuck, Eddsworld, Nijisanji EN & more

Top Kins: hiyori tomoe (enstars), yoosung kim (mystic messenger), jumin han (mystic messenger), hanako (tbhk), felix kranken (twf), albedo (genshin impact), shoya ishida (a silent voice), tom (eddsworld), eridan (homestuck), karkat (homestuck), shu itsuki (enstars),miyamura izumi (horimiya), micheal afton (FNAF), lolbit (FNAF), mangle (FNAF), natsume sakasaki (enstars), sora harukawa (enstars), V (mystic messenger), hagumi kitazawa (bandori), matsubara kanon (bandori), shinji ikari (neon genesis evangelion), geto suguru (jujustu kaisen), minami kotobuki (oshi no ko), lain iwakura (serial experiments lain), hajime hinata (danganronpa), hua cheng (TGCF), ame-chan (needy streamer overdose), k-angel (needy streamer overdose) and more....!

Favorite Characters: Toji Fushiguro (Jujustu Kaisen), Gojo Satoru (Jujustu Kaisen), Mondo Owada (Danganronpa 1), Leon Kuwata (Danganronpa 1), Blair (Soul Eater), Goro Akechi (Persona5), Jumin Han (Mystic Messenger), Malleus Draconia (Twisted Wonderland), Mushitaro Oguri (Bungo Stray Dogs), Chuuya Nakahara (Bungo Stray Dogs), Qi Rong (Heavens Offical Blessing, SORRY), Belphegor (Obey Me), Aponia (Honkai Impact 3rd), Mitsuri Kanoji (Demon Slayer), Enmu (Demon Slayer), Wriothesley (Genshin Impact), Neuvillette (Genshin Impact), Raiden Shogun/Ei (Genshin Impact), Takanobu Aone (Haikyuu), Willam Afton (Five Nights at Freddy’s), and more

Favorite Artists: ATEEZ, Stray Kids, LOONA, TXT, SHINee, Orange Caramel, Red Velvet, NewJeans, BIGBANG, (G)-IDLE, TWICE, Enhypen, LE SSERAFIM, Itzy, Wonder Girls, Perfume, Gackt, ATARASHII GAKKO, Yoasobi, BABYMETAL, Fuji Kaze, King Gnu, Arashi, Ado, Eve, Miki Matsubara, Tophamhat-kyo, Gulu gulu, Malice Mizer, DADAROMA, The GazettE, Kaneto-Juusei, Mejibray, Madmans Esprit, BUCK-TICK, X Japan, Korn, System Of A Down, Oingo Bingo, Puzzle, Strawberry Guy, Tyler The Creator, Lemon Demon, The Mountain Goats, Mitski, Mac Demarco, The Cure, The Smiths, The Garden, AJJ, TV Girl, Bôa, Current Joys, Eyedress, Car Seat Headrest, My Bloody Valentine, Alex G, Marina, Weezer, Radiohead, Cage The Elephant, Tame Impala, Playboi Carti, Deftones and more

I’ll update this whenever I can! Hopefully you guys enjoy getting to know more about me (:

[gyaru-wish]

Wallpapers I think Yandere Simulator characters would have

Ayano: Plain color (Probably pink)

Taro: Photo of Hanako, Osana and him

Info-chan: Plain color (Probably black)

Osana: Raibaru and her

Amai: Photo of her friends and her in her birthday

Kizana: Photo of her in a costume

Oka: A Creepy pasta character

Asu: "Sports aesthetic" thing

Osoro: Her pet

Hanako: A Shojo anime character

Megami: Default wallpaper

Sakyu/Inkyu: Photo of them with a Instagram filter

Kuu: Plain color (Probably Black or red)

Horuda: Harry Potter wallpaper

Kyuji: Some Netflix series character

Otohiko: Photo of a Landscape

Hazu: Default Wallpaper

Toga: Food

Raibaru: Photo of Osana and her

Shoku: A tray of cupcakes

Kenko: Photo of him and Seiyo at the fair

Ajia: Default Wallpaper

Saki: Matching wallpaper with Kokona

Tsuruzo: Himself, of course...

Shozo: The poster of a movie

Riku: A cat

Tokuko: Aesthetic roses

Kokona: Matching wallpaper with Saki

Shin: It's emo. I don't know what, but emo.

Chojo: Glitchcore wallpaper

Daku: Ouija board

Supana: Belphegor from Obey me!

Kokuma: Dreamcore wallpaper

Geiju: One of his favourites paintings

Borupen: He's goth, idk, just that

Enpitsu: Guess here-

Maka: Weirdcore. She's very fan of it

Efude: Sailor Mercury

Miyuji: Her guitar

Gita: Herself with an aesthetic filter

Beshi: Photo of the band

Dora: A cartoon character

Kiba: Photo of her with a pretty make up

Budo: Photo of him with all the club (Raibaru included)

Sho: Probably a streamer or smth

Juku: KUNG FU PANDA-

Mina: Shima and her eating ice cream

Shima: Her dog

Fureddo: Sukubi and Rojasu when they had a Stomach ache. He thinks it's hilarious

Rojasu: Sukubi and him trying to be aesthetic. Failure

Sukubi: Rojasu and him. OKAY. THEY LOVE EACH OTHER

Dafuni: Beruma and her with real pretty dresses

Beruma: Dafuni without make up and her

Kaga: Plain color (Probably sky blue)

Horo: Yaku sleeping. He says he has it for mock him but actually thinks he is cute

Yaku: Miyuki

Meka: Some mecha anime

Homu: Default wallpaper

Itachi: Default wallpaper

Hojiro: Itachi and him

Unagi: His couple (You can imagine who)

Iruka: His crush (You can also imagine who)

Manataro: Photo with Budo

Uekiya: Her garden

Himari: Photo with Sakura in the garden

Sakura: Photo with all the club at a restaurant

Sumire: Lavenders

Tsubaki: A cat she found on her shrine

Gema: Also Miyuki

Ryuto: GTA wallpaper

Pippi: Osu! wallpaper

Midori: "Yandere-chan"

Mai: Herself in cosplay

Umeji: Food.

Hokuto: Him and Hayanari in a arcade

Gaku: Him, Umeji, his sister and Osoro with a car they found.

Hayanari: Hokuto and him in a park. THEY ALSO LOVE EACH OTHER

Dairoku: Ice cream. He likes it. No more questions.

Kuroko: Her and Megami. Akane took the photo without them notice

Akane: Her with all the council

Shiromi: Cursed image

Aoi: Her and Shiromi. Shiromi took the picture without her notice

Musume: Herself

Kashiko: Her dog

Hana: Kashiko and her

Kokoro: Herself

Hoshiko: Herself

[just-an-enby-lemon]

@unrestrainedbalderdash said they don't care if I put Jonathan Crane into my idea of how I would do an adult Scooby cartoon. And since they are someone who I really liked and I really just need one person saying "hey is okay" to me to overly babble over something here we are.

Disclaimer: I did not watch the Velma show. I saw the trailer and reviews but that is it. This is also not a recreation of it. It's merely how I would do an adult scooby doo story with a more representative cast.

▫️Alpha Kappa Scobby (I'm bad naming stuff)

Is time to grow up.

With the end of high school comes the anxiety inducing question of what to do next? To the Mystery Inc. the answer was always obivous: continuing solving mysteries together. Unfortunally fate appeared to have other plans. Between parental presure, a crashing economy, a shitty job market and an investigation that abelit sucefull ended up breaking the Mystery Machine, hurting a civilian and facing the local authorities ultimatum that they could not keep their unregulated detective agency it appears to be the end.

But the thing is mysteries never ever leave the gang. Where they are things happen and as they face the monsters of adult life other monsters may appear on the way. Are they ready?

▫️The Gang

- Velma is our main characther. She is a second generation imigrant kid from an indian-american family, possibly autistic (mostly represented by her sensory issues and examples of masking) and a genius who suffers from anxiety and the pressure that both comes with societal expectations related to prejudice, familial expectations (especially as a second generation imigrant) and being a gifted kid. She is also a lesbian.

- Shaggy is Shaggy. They are a possibly stoner black latino (he may be a stonner or it may be just harmfull steriotypes possibly both) and they are also ace and non-binary using they/then pronouns. Norville is their deadname and the fact their parents call them that is a dead give away of the time of people they are. Shaggy was adopted and their parents are upped middle class white guys who adopted three POC kids and act extremily white saviour over it. Their bio parents are implied to be scientistis at Star Labs that died in an freaky accident when they eere still little. They may have something to do with Scooby being a talking dog. Though they met by Shaggy adopting a stray puppy. Their personality is still the same. Except for the parents issues. Like they are still the same glutonous coward who cares a lot for their friends and likes bad horror movies.

- Scooby is Scooby. Like nothing changed at all about him. Except that outside the gang people do question the fact he is a talking dog. Since their world is really weird people go from allien to failed scientific experiment of either LexCorp or Starlabs. The more accepted theory is that he is the first non-human to manifest a meta gene. He isn't being studies because he flied over radar until the gaang started solving mysteries and at this point he was too popular plus the governent had other more important issues going on. So he is just a fact.

- Daphne is a girl who defy expectations. She is weird. She has two mons (a thing I know is cannon on the Velma cartoon and am using), one is a british martial artist and the other a american fashion designer and she got very deep into both of her mons careears. She has some relatives in jail and she learned a bunch with them. She loves to learn except not the school stuff, so her grades were meh and people usually saw her as just a pretty face, even though she has a bunch of great skils like fighting, fashion, faking signatures, lock picking, stealth, acting, a bunch of sports and more. She is bissexual and has a huge crush on both Elvira and Hex Girls. She also loves escape artists (being good at scaping herself) and is a fan of bad horror movies and campy actors. She also has a crush on Fred.

- Fred is a sweet bissexual himbo and he is very clearly neurodivergent and definitvaly autistic. He stims a lot, has dificulty getting social clues, misses most sarcasm and some abstract expressions, has a huge special interest in traps, sometimes goes non-verbal, just the whole book. He is a rich white boy but fails to meet his misoginistic racist parents expectations not only by hangin with the gaang but by having a disability. His parents never took him to a doctor to be diagnosed because they believed it would bring shame to the family to have a disabled kid and just hoped he would "grow out of it". He does have some internalized prejudice but it's working to be better. He also has a huge crush in Daphne, is a very supportive and loyal friend and infodumps people a lot.

▫️The Pilot

The pilot episode starts with the gaang reciving their ultimatum and having to undergo an state aproved course to became private investigators and be abble to keep the Mystery Inc. going. Shennanigans issue and they all end up failing.

Daphne is too good on the self defense courses and also may have caused a teacher who implied she would need to do sexual favors for him if she hoped to pass in his boring law class to never be able to walk again. Luckily he was too afraid to press charges.

Fred keept trying to insert trap making into the course to ridiculous extremes.

Shaggy broke the vending machine, ate all the food and also just keept running away from the clues in all the pratical texts. They answers also mostly involved running and getting uninvolved.

No one knew if Scooby should do dog training or humam courses and he ended in a confusing stream of buerocracy.

Velma should by all means had suceeded though and the only reason she failed was racial bias. She tries to brush it off, after all she was not going to be a detective on her own anyway and all her friends failed, but it clearly afects her and this will be a thing hanging over her head the whole season. The episode ends with Velma discovering she got approved to a full scholarship on a fictional ivvy league university outisde of Crystal Cove she had applied more for her parents sakes than her in criminology.

▫️They failed what now?

After a whole debate during the second episode and the gaang being supportive even if it means it is the definitive end for them, Velma decides to go to college. Of course trying to keep together the whole gaang somehow ends up involved with the campus.

- Shaggy and Scobby get a job at the college cafeteria that Shaggy uses to move into a trailer in the college parking lot (that they plans into turning in a food truck) so they can get away from their transphobic parents. Scobby of course moves with them.

- With help of white rich cis man priviledge Fred gets accepted to the same school but into architeture (he does uses this knoledge to plan traps but also realizes he likes projecting rooms on general). The thing is thanks to missanderstanding a sarcastic coment from Velma he ends up being part of a very "bro" fraternity. It's mostly played for laughs as he definitivally doesn't belong there but also accidentaly starts turning the guys into better people. But also features on Fred understanding his priviledge and the internalized prejudices his parents dumped on him and evolving past them and also dealing with ableism.

- Daphne decided to try to work in a close by cafe and became roomates with a goth girl called June that works with Shaggy and Scooby. Both are fired and decide to open an etsy store together. She is also doing an online course on fashion. Velma has a crush on June and June is implied to have a criminal past. The etsy store is mostly used for laughs though it also is used to show Daphne dealing with being different from soceity expectations and the hardships of having a small bussiness.

▫️The Plot

The story focuses on their adventures on campus as they deal with adult life but also as weird things keep happening and students end up either getting murdered or disapearing all the time. While focused on episodic shennanigans with characther growth as the linear aspect there are some key episodes that show that there's a major conspiracy involving the university's past and the looming presence of an white supremacist cult.

▫️Cool and all but where is Jonathan Crane?

The thing is if I was writing this series I would make the connection with DC be mostly references with some few special episodes starting on the second season (including the obligatory Batman team-up and a episode were Riddler, who is on his P.I arc, is hired to the same case the Mystery Inc is in and they have to work together). So we would have things like Scooby possibly having the metagene, Velma being a Batman fangirl and having some batfam merch in the middle of her detective merch, Fred being a Green Arrow fan and buying trap material for Ace Chemicals and LexCorp, Daphne mentioning her uncle Alfred or Shaggy's bio parents having been Star Lab scientistis. Some name drops like WayneTech or Lex Luthor.

The exception being Jonathan Crane. Jon is an actual relevant secundary characther. After mysterious circunstances involving a fight with the dean, a recomendation letter and an ultimatum, Jonathan leaved Gotham University and became a teacher at the Yet To Be Named University where the gang is.

His disciplines are an eletive about phobias, psychophatology and forensic psychology. He is famous over the campus for being a genius and a great teacher but also for being harsh, having extremely high standards and hard exams and just being creepy and really really weird. There is legit theories of him being some kind of cryptic or a ghost. He has the uncanny hability of walking without making any noise and being abble to be silent and quiet until he suddently scares someone with his presence. He speaks little outside the classroom and is always alone. And if someone tries to be friendly with him, he will just leave and let the person hanging. No one ever saw him eat only drink coffe (that may be spiked with whisky sometimes). He is mostly saw outside classes either writing/typing or reading (he only reads text books and horror stories). He has a crow in his office and while the bird is calm and sweet with him it sings creepy old childrem rhymes and it definitivaly attacked a student who got emotional over a bad grade and started screaming with Crane.

With all that being said Crane is Velma's fsvorite professor and she is his favorite student. He doesn't presure or mocks her and is fascinated by her theories and they can discuss psychology, chesmistry, literature and criminology for hours. They respect each other and have a deep understanding being fairly similar (and yes make Crane be also POC, prefencialy south asian), they are friends and with her family alway Velma sees Crane as a pseudo father-figure. Even Crane's bird Ichabod seems to also enjoy Velma a lot. The rest of the gang has more mixed views of Crane. He is always polite with them but he is also creepy as hell specially with Shaggy and Scooby as he asks them a lot of questions about their fears.

Every single time someone either dies or disappears everyone accuses Crane. He is ALWAYS a suspect. And Velma is his only defender (sometimes the gang as whole also). And he is always show to be innocent. But is also hinted that he is still planning and doing Scarecrow shit and while it's played for laughs the huge impact Crane and Velma's bond have to Velma overcoming her issues is a hint that when it finally happens of Crane being the guilty part and his Scarecrow persona coming to light it will break Velma's heart.

[lesbx]

You know that one weird mobile game ad where it’s like drawing a line to protect a little cartoon guy with dog ears from bees, and it does the thing where the gameplay is purposely obviously bad to infuriate you into playing it just so you can do it right? that happened to me also bc i just wanted to see what the fuck the game actually was bc it couldn’t be that for real and i was half right. it’s actually two completely different games in one app. One is a the bee game except there’s no dog boy, it’s called Girl Rescue and it’s the same except it’s a princess you protect from bees. the other half of the game is an fantasy RPG with bubble pop/candy crush gameplay that may or may not have a romance element?

the two games are connected as well. you have to play them consecutively to make progress in the other

[tozettastone]

Five fic recs for five different fandoms—

A Silent Dog And Still Water by Misfit_McCoward ( @misfitmccoward ) (naruto)

A fic concerning a chronically ill ninja OC, and how she maintains herself after defecting from her village. I like the sense of well-paced rising tension and the drama of the ending. If you haven't yet read it, give it a shot! It's 14000-odd words, so enough to get invested in but not so long you lose focus.

And I Alone Have Escaped To Tell You by astolat (transformers cartoon generation one)

A time travel fix it. Includes sparring with added sexual tension, complicated crushes on your boss, a biased narrator who doesn't know he's biased, and intense crying on the moon. It's a very rare pair. I think you don't need to know canon to understand this fic—the fic itself covers the premise well and canon is pretty light on, like... sense. Pretty popular, so it may already have reached its entire intended audience.

There May Be Some Collateral Damage by metisket (bleach/harry potter)

This is an excellent "this was always the same world" crossover. The two settings are well blended and the pacing is good. I think this fic has a good handle Ichigo's character. You would probably need at least some understanding of Bleach canon to enjoy this one.

Company by esama (final fantasy 7)

This fic's characterisation more leans on canon than embodies it (which works just fine with a video game) but it is very charming. Fully commits to the one premise—an indulgent power fantasy about not fearing death and managerial conquest—and really runs with it.

Cleaning Out The Rooms by bitochondria (disco elysium)

This fic is a good, well paced comedy but it's also absurdly earnest and full of feelings. The voices/skills are really well done and the comedic pacing of those is particularly great. I think you will need to have some knowledge of canon for this one, or else you will be lost, as it picks up immediately after a fairly complex canon leaves off.

[wolfimprints]

Hi! May I please request a ship?

I'm 21, genderqueer (they/them, pretty feminine presenting), and bi. I'm really short but tend to wear pretty tall platforms so I'm 5' 6" in public, lol. I have angel fangs (piercings) and I adore tattoos. Generally, my sense of style is pretty alternative but in a really casual way because I prioritize comfort over aesthetic and I have sensory issues (black comfy clothes and no makeup for the win).

I cuss a ton and have a very horrible sense of humor (dirty jokes and shock/dark humor, I'm not allowed near the kids table anymore, I have no filter and it's gotten me in trouble), I also vape, and I drink socially. I'm autistic, so I have trouble reading social cues, have limited facial expressions, have trouble with empathy, and tend to infodump about random things.

I'm usually pretty chill, I like to complain a lot but it's all lighthearted. My idea of an ideal date is hiking while talking mindlessly about anything, then going home to make dinner together and eat it on the couch while watching Rick and Morty or an anime or something. Also, I get crushes easily. Even in a relationship, I'm loyal as can be but I do tend to gush about fictional characters or the cutie that I saw at the coffee shop because I think that attraction is so normal and natural and human that it shouldn't be an issue. I'm also REALLY straightforward when I have a crush, I'll tell them "yeah, I totally did that thing so that I had an excuse to look at you some more because I think you're hot, lol" and I really don't see the big deal, facts are facts.

I'm also an artist and I love to cook. I read a bit, bit I get bored too quickly so I tend to drop books a lot. I like silly movies (Monty Python or Bill and Ted or something like those) and cartoons (Adventure Time, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Rugrats, etc.) and generally unserious things. I like anything that looks whimsigoth, and I'm an extreme introvert.

That's all I can think of. I feel like I simultaneously rambled for far to long and like I didn't give nearly enough information. My bad, lol. But thank you in advance if you take the request, and sorry to bother you if you can't/aren't taking requests!!

I ship you with... QUIL!

I feel like he'll appreciate your clothing style (I see him being into grungy stuff) and your interests (films/cartoons with black humour). He's also pretty sarcastic/blunt so he'll see you as a partner-in-crime in mischief.

I picture him as an observer, so he'll understand after a while of spending time with you what gets you going and what not. He'll always get the conversation going even after you've made quite a comment that freezes the mood.

Thanks for requesting!

[josiebelladonna]

found this on reddit just now and-

…

you know what? fuck current tumblr culture, i would date me.

i’m artistic. i’m scientific. there is a hell, i have seen it. i play hockey and baseball and i work out regularly. i like working with my hands. i love to sleep. i love to eat. i could never answer “dogs or cats” because it wouldn’t be fair to one or the other. i like cartoons and pokemon. i like horror movies and the culture of the 70s and 80s. i wrote a million words as quarantine was ending. i’m fiery and emotional. i’m attracted to men and women and nonbinary people. i’ve been growing my hair since 2000, it’s down to the middle of my thigh. my skin is soft. my breasts are naturally very big. i’m full of curves. joey belladonna and his wife are fans of me—hell, there are other incredible people who are fans of me and i never would’ve dreamed they would be. making friends may be a chore but i have been told that i’m a good friend. i stood up to bullies. i knew chris cornell, for god’s sake. alex skolnick has a crush on me. i’m a virgin and i don’t wear any makeup because i don’t like how it feels on my skin.

all you little shits and your incessant ~mutuals~ posts have 0 taste and don’t know what the fuck you’re missing here with me.

in fact, you know what? here’s a picture of me, because i feel like i can’t post pictures of myself on the internet anymore, even if i feel good about myself (facebook thinks i’m fishing for compliments, instagram is too picture perfect, and tumblr wouldn’t know what’s good if it punched them in the face because apparently, posting pictures of yourself on here either gets you blocked and bodyshamed or treated like the queen of england, there is literally no in-between).

if i saw me on the street, i’d take me home and did it tantric after eating a piece of pie because i’m always touching every inch of my body, especially my belly. tumblr and gen z are full of body-shamers and people who like to treat you small because of your history, and that is an absolute fact. you people treat each other and everyone older than you horribly, and way too often like you’re still in high school, from high up on your crosses and you wonder why you feel like the whole world is out to get you. i’m hot and you assholes can’t see that even if i sat down on your chest to put you in your place.

[whiskykitteeeeee]

His first joke <3

The first time I drew this cat, I was trying to make my crush laugh. It worked. :) We are good friends now and she still wears my shirt.

The character that sprang into being that day, is one of my most treasured ideas. He's not a cat. Whisky is an entity. He is a drive, a focus, a joke monster...he's my life long dream that I'll never stop chasing.

When Whisky became real for me, Punk Turkey (an older character I had stopped drawing after my dog and therefore his dog passed away) asked if he could have the new kitty friend. How could I say no to a character asking to love again?

Thanks for letting me introduce my creations here. I draw these cartoon characters among other things :) I'm a little all over the place and I am happy like this.

Make my day and check out their first comic book! Yeti Shit, Vol 1.

Content warning: bad words, blasphemy, cartoon violence.

Thanks for looking at my stuff, may you snort or groan with oof.

Whisky Kitty Store and tip jar and other stuff

[fortressofserenity]

Who really is an everyman?

I remember somewhere in a Spider-Man board where somebody said that Spider-Man isn’t so much of an everyman but rather a stand-in for the superhero comics reader, when I think about this while there are certainly portrayals of Spider-Man that hew closer to his purported everyman reputation (the newspaper cartoons where Mary Jane worked as a computer saleswoman) there are aspects of him in the ‘616′ stories that don’t feel everymannish.

It’s not that normal men don’t cheat on their partners either, but that Spider-Man finds himself in situations where he gets the attention of femmes fatales like Black Cat and White Rabbit. The 616 version of Mary Jane works as a model, most men may have a crush on a female model but don’t date and marry these kinds of characters. I could also say that Kate Pryde herself isn’t much of an everywoman when one considers these.

Not only is she a skilled martial artist and hacker, she also has a pet dragon. You might say that it’s fiction, so she should have her pet dragon. But if you take a look at most other cartoon characters, they often have dogs. Obelix has a dog (or is it Asterix), both Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse have pet dogs (Bolivar and Pluto), Charlie Brown has a pet dog named Snoopy and Garfield’s Jon also owns a dog named Odie.

Both Batman and Superman have pet dogs, well so did Impulse at one point. Nightwing has a dog, so does Hawkeye. If you want a villainous example, we have Dick Dastardly and his pet Muttley. If you want a stretch, we have Pegleg Pete and his pet dog Chainsaw but he still qualifies and fits the shoe pretty well.

Most people in the real world have cats and dogs as pets, it’s very rare to encounter somebody who has a pet reptile. If dragons are reptiles, while reptile owners aren’t nonexistent they’re not that common either. There are even some people who point out that Kate Pryde panders a lot to those who really are deep into X-Men, if this is true then she resonates with just a few people. 

One would wonder why Wolverine became X-Men’s breakout character and not her, well the problem is that she may not be much of an everyperson to appeal to everybody else in some regards. Especially if she appeals too much to a certain demographic, then it goes a long way why her appeal in comics never translated well to media with a more mainstream audience like film.

Not everybody’s experience is going to be the same, so defining what makes an everyperson character’s going to be tricky. If there’s ever going to be a concrete consensus for what counts as one, they wouldn’t be part of a niche subculture of any sort. They’d have normie experiences and interests, mainstream and basic even. There’s a big difference between Charlie Brown and Tim Drake.

This is what separates the everymen from the fanboy favourites, they’re characters everybody can relate to. Whoever they are, they’re not part of some elite or niche. They’re going to be very plebian in a way Tim Drake never was.

[ocscreaming]

I have some more niche ocs this blog will be used for but uhhh these are my main ones (under the cut) just so yall know the characters n stuff better. Mels not gonna be includdd cuz he’s got his own blog over at @wingedmel

UNIVERSE 1:

#amor - cult leader, drag queen, bacchanalian spirit, you name it. Still keeps around his boyfriend from before he became what he is, even though he doesn’t have feelings for him anymore.

#osiris - shadowy guy who is tasked with helping plants grow in the dingy and abandoned city he lives in. Amors boyfriend, and still likes him despite what he’s become.

#helios - spirit of the sunrise and the sun, was originally a deer a very long time ago. In a relationship with janus that has lasted almost as long as his human form has. Cowboy, on account of the fact that he has a way with cattle.

#janus - spirit of the sunset and stars, was originally a ram a very long time ago. Shepherd, for lesser star spirits in the form of sheep.

#colibri - essentially a magical girl, took over the role of spirit of the moon despite not technically being a spirit. Used to be a hitman, but quit due to stress.

#adam - bounty hunter and son of the mayor of the town. In love with aalto, but can’t openly show it due to his being tasked with hunting aalto.

#aalto - spirit of the sea and predatory fish. Loves Adam, and is open about it. He also makes music at the local punk pub under the name “sockeye”.

#ward - domesticated dog spirit, serves Adam and his dad. Often used as entertainment and hunting practice, due to being unable to die through violent means. Has a close relationship with Adam, who doesn’t hurt him or know about how he’s used, but his love is unrequited.

UNIVERSE 2:

#lab - unnamed man experiment gone wrong. Treated lovingly by the scientists and is a very helpful assistant. Likes drag and fighting.

#alan - tired scientists living off of caffeine. Her wife seems to be the only reason she hasn’t quit.

#kiara - mad scientist stereotype to a T, considers lab a family member due to helping create him. Married to Alan.

#lovey - sentient computer program, doesn’t like violence but is fine with blood and guts, as she serves as the medical database. Known for using up file space by pirating magical girl animes, and she changed her form to resemble the characters from said cartoons. Dating Molo.

#molo - mysteriously showed up one day. Resembles a human, despite being green. Is allegedly an alien. She goes about her normal life despite this. She also has an interest in drag, but doesn’t actively do it. Dating lovey.

#one - creator of lovey, changed his name for unknown reasons. Interested in lab, but doesn’t show it.

CURRENTLY UNIVERSELESS OR FROM ASSORTED CAMPAIGNS:

#shun - royal family member…technically. A lycanthrope whose lover was killed through a revolution gone sour, and is learning to live as a human again.

#sleazy guy - a businessman who sells just about anything, including himself, but his main business is selling watered down medicine to the terminally ill

#sev - a death god who was treated as a circus attraction for the first several years of his life. His abusive boss has him do everyone’s paperwork, and he misses his ex girlfriend to death

#melik - a tiger bit disguised as a girl, has an unrequited crush on a living tin man named Hector, supported by the gods and still learning etiquette

#tanak - an axolotl person who explores and logs cave systems. Learning to accept love again after his somewhat crazy ex died

NEW CHARACTERS MAY BE ADDED, AS I OFTEN MAKE NEW THINGS OR BRING BACK OLD CHARACTERS SO CHECK IN AGAIN ANYTIME IF YOY SEE A NEW TAG

[fancoloredglasses]

[RERUN] Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling (as painful as a camel clutch to watch)

With the recent passing of Hossein Khosrow Ali Vaziri (AKA the Iron Sheik) at age 81, I thought I would pull this review out from the archives. Unlike most of my RERUN reviews, not much will be changed except fixing a broken video. I remember a live-action clip from the show that featured The Iron Sheik and his then-partner Nikolai Volkov getting their hands stuck in cement, but I can’t find it anywhere on the internet. If anyone can find it, please let me know in the comments.

Instead, in honor of the fallen Legend, here’s a clip of the late Mr. Vaziri at his best!

(Thanks to The Best Wrestling Promos of All Time)

[As a side note, Vaziri was in the US for over 40 years before his death. I don’t think his English EVER improved!]

If you would like to see the original review (with the broken video fixed), you may do so here.

(Thanks to Derek S)

[All images are owned by DIC Animation City and World Wrestling Entertainment. I promise I’m too poor to sue]

Blame psychelynx for this. They requested it, and I’m doing it (under protest)

OK, confession time again. I’m a long-time fan of professional wrestling. I also grew up in the northeast, so the only wrestling I could get was the World Wrestling Federation (now known as World Wrestling Entertainment or WWE. Damn pandas...). Later, once I was able to see “southern style” wrestling through World Championship Wrestling (WCW) I realized what I was missing.

These days, I still consider myself a wrestling fan, but a lot of what’s on TV is a far cry from wrestling, but that’s a rant for another day. We’re here to show how much the World Wrestling Federation (I will not be using their acronym as I don’t wanna get sued by the World Wildlife Fund or WWF) pandered to kids in the era of Hulkamania (and how dumb they thought kids were in the 80s)

[NOTE: A few of the wrestlers featured had an allegiance shift and/or were fired during the original airing (or shortly after), plus their popularity may have faded due to later events. I am therefore just looking at the show as its own “universe” outside the World Wrestling Federation, though I will note how things may have differed.]

The “cast” were as follows (and I will have to explain who’s who, as they don’t look like their namesakes and the voice actors don’t sound anything like them either)

For the good guys (or “babyfaces”, to use wrestler lingo) we had...

From front to back: Hulk Hogan (note that his cartoon version has a full head of hair when even in 1985 his hairline was receding down the back of his head), Tito Santana (I actually had to watch a couple of episodes to be certain who it was), “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka (who was decades away from being arrested for a murder that happened before this aired), Captain Lou Albano, Wendi Richter (who was fired while the show was on the air), Junkyard Dog, Hillbilly Jim, and Andre the Giant (who was about a year away from becoming a bad guy and challenging Hogan for the title)

For the bad guys (or “heels”) we had...

Big John Studd and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (just months before becoming a babyface and leaving to film They Live) along with...

Nikolai Volkoff, the Iron Sheik (who never actually had abs that looked that good), Mr. Fuji, and the Fabulous Moolah

Also featured on the program were...

Bobby “The Brain” Heenan and...

“Mean” Gene Okerlund

[Looking at the cast of characters, it’s kind of sad how many are no longer with us. I think Tito Santana, Hillbilly Jim, Wendi Richter, and Hulk Hogan are it!]

The shows featured two short cartoons (or one full-length cartoon) filled with plots that would have been rejected by the Three Stooges (such as Junkyard Dog and Piper in a race for the right for their car to be crushed by a giant robot dinosaur) and the wrestlers are complete idiots (such as Andre trying to hide a radio the babyfaces need by sitting on it (keep in mind that the real-life Andre the Giant was billed as over 450 pounds))

In between this comedy “gold” (more like lead), we are “treated” to “comedy” sketches by the real-life wrestlers such as this lunacy...

(Thanks to  Saturday Morning Deathgrip)

There is one minor bright spot (just for the sheer comedy...certainly not for the music) that came from this show. It repeatedly showed this little ditty, a cover of Wilson Pickett’s Land of 1000 Dances, performed by pretty much the entire lineup of the World Wrestling Federation

(Thanks to morrisonAV)

Holy crap, is that Meat Loaf on drums?

[BTW, anyone who can identify everyone in this video has my undying respect, as I don’t remember everyone and I grew up watching the World Wrestling Federation!]

Of course, given what was on World Wrestling Federation programming in the 80s, I guess you couldn’t be too surprised by any of this.

If you would like to see this lunacy, it’s on Internet Archive. If you would like to see an episode reviewed...uhhh, NO!

(Thanks to WWE)