#i made that a few years ago i think and idr if i posted it fdbhgfbhgf

[arsuf]

Being a content creator and watching your stuff get nothing but likes these days

[senkusphone]

Happy Stone Day, everyone!

On this day, when celebrating the onion man is what most people indulge on, let's also turn our eyes to the fascinating civilization that is Ishigami village, in this mini post (compared to what I usually do anyway).

Starting with the reason I am doing this in the first place, Stone Day. It is a celebration from Ishigami Village that takes place in January 4th, which happens to be Senku's birthday, likely an easter egg left by Byakuya in the hundred tales. Unfortunately we weren't shown anything regarding what this celebration involves.

As the manga itself points out, Stone day is significant in several ways, for one, 1/4 is i-shi in japanese, which also means Stone. It is Senku's birthday (and if you've been following me you'll know that the day Senku was born in, January 4th 2004, was the day that Nasa's Spirit rover landed on Mars).

Another tradition is of course the grand bout, which there isn't much left to say about since it was explained in detail in the series, even down to its specific rules

Rule 6 is the only one that wasn't relevant in the series as far as I can tell.

It's been also vaguely implied that there are other fighting tournaments that take place in the village, which makes sense, since why would you keep an open arena just to use it once very 20 years or so?

(Sideways to save vertical space, Suika will pray for your neck)

However it's never explained how this tradition started to begin with; did it exist in treasure island and disappeared after the Ishigami branched off, or did it start with them in the mainland?

The society structure of contemporary treasure island is substantially different, with a number of small villages that are all (at least in theory) managed by a centralized government composed of the master (or "head" much to our amusement) and the prime minister, where most power is held by the master, who also serves as the main religious figure, being the one who largely keeps the hundred tales, which are passed from generation to generation along his lineage.

In Ishigami village things kinda flipped and thus spawned a system that is at least half matriarchal so to speak. Now political power is split between the chief and the priestess, where the chief holds most executive authority while the priestess holds most of the religious power, and it is the lineage of the priestess that keeps the tales and that power in-family, with the chief being some allegedly suited rando from the village.

Even though it's the obligation of the priestess to marry the chief, she is rarely if ever shown as a subordinate to him and both can be seen directing the village, which I think it's very interesting. The anime went as far as expanding on this, by implying that it was Ruri who told Kokuyo to abdicate his position to Senku.

Sneakily she gets to keep being the priestess without having to be engaged, and we see her taking leading roles from then on.

Now I've talked about religious figures but what is their religion to begin with? Hard to tell, we know that they believe in multiple gods who control the forces of nature such as lightning. Similarly it's also been shown that prior to Senku's arrival, they believed themselves to be the only humans on earth, at least some of them believed the earth was flat, and most bizarrely, they believed the moon was something akin to a floating lake, owning to its small apparent size, however that works.

Perhaps they took note of how water tends to form spheres due to surface tension? This reminds me of how some scientist a few centuries ago (but idr who at this moment) believed the moon to be a solid mass of congealed air.

The last thing I want to bring up is the Ishigami village rope, reportedly made with a special technique that's unique to them.

It is also said that the rope reflects rank and profession somehow, but this is not reflected in any noticeable way on the series itself. Boichi probably hadn't been told about this when he designed all 40 known villagers in the span of one week.

The rope is worn somewhere around the body, and it contains a single red thread spun into it, serving as a symbol of kinship among them.

For now I'll leave it at that, as it's getting pretty late in the day, and pretty much all of this is written on the wiki article to begin with. Hope you enjoyed it, I'll see you all some other day.

[cerealmonster15]

ok. a few years ago like in 2021 or something my friend and made some twst ship fankids and then i kept making more. three of them are hers i think so i will specify the, but i drew this specific stupid little map to keep track of whatevers going on here. no real plot or anything just concepts that i wanted to make a chart for. a multiverse i guess. dont worry about it dont think to hard about it. also the names were just based off the ship names for funsies lol they werent like fully developed or anything oK ANYWAY a brief explanation of each kid under the cut!

so it started with jamil/azul/idia actually. the other guys just kept spawning later lol uhh lemme see what i can remember.

and i had a second image where i'd drawn arrows on top of who is full siblings vs half siblings vs cousins but it was too tangled and also i forgot a bunch of arrows anyway so fsdlkjfjdskl i just left it out so if i sound like im referencing a forbidden second image and forgot to edit out that talk just. that's why lol.

ummm so i believe azeal, azidia, and treya-da were the ones my friend came up with, and i made everyone else lol. we did a little art of them early on but i dont wanna go find or post those 🤸‍♀️ umm also some of them are girls, we just ignore the fact that nrc is an all boy school cuz who give a shit. anyway heres what i remember:

jazzy-zu: she/her, first one i made i think, jamil/azul child. takes more after jamil in terms of athleticism- actually wait i remember we had a stats web chart somewhere too but i dont remember where that is and i dont feel like looking for it lol but i think jazzy was like, high energy and sporty, and has purple hair like azul [deeper purple maybe idr] and tan skin like jamil. i think shes a lil less academic maybe. more of a jock. her overblot i think was a snake hair ponytail + red eyes + fangs + tentacles bc shes also a half mermaid in general. she was maybe more of a prankster schemer and was my fave of the ones i made lol. i debated savanaclaw or scarabia for her but tbh thinking about it now i think savanaclaw is the way to go.

azeal [my friend's character]: he/him, the other azul/jamil kid. i think he was more azul energy and kinda posh lol. less athletic but maybe did fencing? i think the thing with him and jazzy-zu was he didnt like team sports like she does lol. he's in pomefiore. he maybe wanted world domination but i dont really remember. also an octomerman i think

jammi-dia: he/him, jamil/idia's kid. he's got more of a punk aesthetic and is into robotics i think? i remember drawing him with one of those custom furbys so i think he had more of a creative side. i think he was more intellectual and less athletic. i dont remember if he skateboards or if im making that up lol [there were more stats besides athletic and intelectual i just forget what they were lmao. social was probably another. i think generally none of these kids were very good at social skills tho]. he's in ignihyde so yea i guess he was the robotics boy. he maybe also had world domination plans but i also dont remember skdjfljdskl it was him and/or azeal.

Azidia [my friend's character]: she/her, an idia/azul kid. i dont remember as much about her, but i think she was a schemer. she's in ignihyde. was SHE the world domination character?? i swear there was at least one. possibly multiple. octomermaid.

idizu: he/him, i think he was the youngest of the ones currently mentioned so like first year age? i forget how old the others were but they're all within the first thru third year range. idizu was way more jittery like azul and into his robotics as well; i think he was kind of like a sidekick sometimes for either jammi-dia or azeal but i forgot which one lol. idk why i debated his dorm of ignihyde vs octavinelle bc i just think of ignihyde for him. octomerman. i think he was tiny and had like bright pinkish purple hair.

mallow: she/her, cater/idia kid. lol. i think this was the last one i made. i believe she/her. i cant remember why i drew her with pointy ears, hence the question mark 🤔 lol i dont think i developed her much bc she came much later but i had reopened the chart bc i was like WHY DONT I HAVE A CATER/IDIA KID IN THERE, but i forgot most of what i said about her. her name is a reference to marshmallows but dont worry about it, it's a very specific convo train between my friend and me that is cater/idia related but i just dont have time to get into it!!! anyway i think she was kinda like. not very social. a lot like idia but i dont remember what her caterisms were. SAD. i guess i put her in ignihyde.

KJ: i think he/him? kj bc it sounds like cayjay and he's the cater/jade kid lol. freak behavior. gets in your space and interrogates you very bluntly. kind of intimidating i think but maybe that was just cuz hes weird. i guess i went with octavinelle, thats where the shady ones go... i think i drew him once in merman form specifically as a wolf eel bc theyre bright orange, but actually just now i googled and the fangtooth moray is decently orange as well, jade is a moray, and cater described his own tooth as a fang tooth so maybe im overwriting the canon lol.

trey-daa [friend's character]: she/her, the trey/jade kid. was actually one of the first few made as well and was the only one that broke out of the azul/jamil/idia containment for a while until i thiiiink either kj or catie spawned. she's an eel mermaid and i think she had the combined energy of jade's smiling threats and trey's genuine care, so she was like Unsettling Levels of Hello Beloved Sibling And/Or Cousin Do You Need Me To Poison Your Enemies For You or something like that lol. heartslabyul apparently!

catie: she/her, trey/cater kid. like the only other human besides jammi-dia and mallow lol bc everyone else on this chart is HALF FISH!!! she was calmer than most of them. normiecore. she i think has a baking youtube channel to channel her parents hobbies. i think i defaulted to putting her in heartslabyul but i CANNOT REMEMBER why i have that potential octavinelle in there??? i drew her and kj hanging out once. she's friendly and probably the nicest of the group without hidden schemes lol.

tomaya: i do not remember the pronouns of this child. maybe she? idk. riddle/floyd kid made i think just bc my friend and i were like the popular tweel ships are trey/jade and floyd/riddle so we gotta have the cousin duo. i think tomaya's thing was that she(?) was like, polar opposite to her parents. floyd and riddle are kinda both really intense people so tomaya was more sleepy and reeeaaally chill. it took me a minute to remember why bc i first remembered one of the only times i drew tomaya was like, yawning and holding a pillow, and i was sitting here like "huh silvers not on this chart so why- OH YEAH to be an ironic different vibe lol". i dont know why we picked heartslabyul for her.

THAT'S IT but also. if i had space perhaps i would now add a riddle/azul kid. maybe even a jamil/riddle kid. get more riddle in here he's only got one!!! but if you leave me alone with characters too long i WILL find seven thousand combos to pair them in fjklsdjfkljKLJFKDLGJ ok anyway. um. spirals. maybe next time will be my caterella chart ok bye!!!!

[kyetalksshit]

Omg I came on here to post a cute lil blurb about how much I love my friends and was reminded that I'm SUPPOSED to be keeping a dream journal more or less hahaha oops

Anyways last night's dream was... a trip and a half tbh so let's recap it while I still remember (even tho it's almost 1am and I should be asleep but here we are)

There was definitely a smaller dream that i completely did not remember even when I first woke up, let alone now. But the last dream...

SO. I get home from work or wherever and I come back downstairs with my dog so she can go potty outside. I notice that there are a lot of people running in and out moving my roommate's stuff out of the house. I'm like omg thank the gods maybe he's moving out and I'll have the place to myself for a little while!!!

I ask someone in passing (I think it was his family or friends) "hey is he moving out?" And they're like "huh?? No, he's not leaving." I'm like 🤨

Then once the living room is cleared out, they bring in this HUUUUUUGE couch like one that has no business being that big. And I overhear someone (or maybe I just knew somehow? Idr) saying that he can afford to upgrade now that he's got this extra money (ie me paying rent). I then see a little dog that looks a lot like his dog that passed a few years ago irl but with a bit of husky? I'm like ?? Weird that he didn't tell me he got a dog but I've got pets here so ig it's not that big of a deal. I pet the dog and say hi.

...then I meet ANOTHER dog, this time a big St. Bernard/GSD mix named Tuck (who I know irl because of my job but in this dream he was now also my roommate's dog). I'm like?????? Wtf man

AND THEN I MEET A THIRD DOG. This one is a small doodle of some kind with wiry hair and smells awful and in dreamland I had a memory of this dog being at the house one other time overnight and I was complaining because it was very yappy. So knowing that not only were there suddenly THREE NEW DOGS in the house without my knowledge, but that at least one of them was gonna be yappy and irritating???????? 🙄😭

I'm irritated but letting my dog play outside and I guess my sister or friends or something are there too because I'm chatting with them about how annoyed I am and I drop my phone, only to pick it up and be DEVASTATED because the screen is SHATTERED literally shattered like to the point that touching it is making my finger bleed. I tape it and then my friend/sister is like wait a minute he has more pets??

I'm like IM SORRY WHAT and she points and says there's a bunny there and one, two, three cats. So that means he has 7 animals??????

Idr how but somehow I find out that he's had the bunny and 3 cats this whole time but made a point to hide them from me. Which is bad enough but three dogs ON TOP OF THAT???? Sets me off.

So I start bringing my dog inside (and now all his friends/family are gone and so are my friends and my cats somehow got out of my room so now I have to wrangle them too) and I see him laying on the couch under a single throw blanket, snoring. And I'm so mad. Because irl he keeps sleeping on the couch EVEN THO HES LIKE 50 and I hate it, so ofc I also hate it in the dream.

I start mumbling to myself about how irritating that is and then start directing that energy at him and getting louder, and he wakes up. I continue yelling at him louder and louder about how he is a grown ass man with a bedroom and a mattress upstairs and it's so frustrating to have to tiptoe past him all the time, and then I bring up how he has people over every single night (which irl he was, though recently it's been more sparse, which is v interesting that it lined up in the dream) and then say I mean you've been getting a LITTLE better on that but-- (about to transition into how LOUD he is on his own)

And he interrupts me by yelling "yeah that fell through, so THANKS FOR THAT!" (Like implying I did magic to force them out)

I go "I DIDNT DO ANYTHING?????? BUT IM GLAD THEYRE GONE"

And this red knotted string on the wall (like those Chinese good luck pendants) that in this moment i understand to be one of his wards, falls off the wall and onto his head. Like as if by saying "I'm glad they're gone" I hit one of his wards and it broke right in front of us and bonked him on his head (giving him nasty repercussions).

He turns to me so angry and curses at me in what my dream self interpreted as Arabic (his native language), like he was cursing me out but also trying to fling evil eye at me. I spit it back at him to deflect that energy, scoop up my pets, and storm upstairs to my room. And as I do I yell down "GROW THE FUCK UP." And then I slam the door behind myself, leaving him speechless below.

I remember collapsing on my bed with my pets and then going ok yeah no I need to move, I cannot stay here and live like this. And then of course I have a panic when I realize that my (shattered 😭) phone is still outside where I had it last and I do NOT want to pass him to go get it.

And then I wake up.

[misterradio]

Sometimes i think of this post that was like, someone's writing about a human becoming a house and getting used to controlling it... idr if a person died and was buried beneath the house or if that was just my mental image.

The most specific thing I remember is the person percieved themself moving their pinky and it made a door slam shut.

Does anyone remember this post or have it on them? (I probably saw it a few years ago, it was a pretty big block of text but the post itself wasnt too long?? idk if that helps lol)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #384

“watch your tongue or have it cut from your head”

Do you post to say happy birthday on other people’s walls? Sometimes. Depends on my mood and the person. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Idr. What’s your favorite television commercial? I don't watch TV enough at all to have one. And who has a favorite commercial, anyway? Do you trip a lot? I don't really trip a lot, but kinda fumble over my footing and stray a bit. I'm horrible at walking straight, and it's gotten worse as my legs have. How old is your television? The one in the living room is god knows how old. My parents were still together when they bought it. When did you last talk on the phone with someone? A couple days ago for my appointment with my psychiatrist. Are you currently sleepy? I'm quite convinced I'm permanently tired. Are you hot or cold natured? I am ALWAYS fucking hot, ugh. Do you take any advanced classes? I took mostly Honors classes in school. Do you have weak upper body strength? My body is just weak as a whole. What is the worst insult someone can call you? Emotionally weak. Are you good at sketching? If we're talking meerkats, haha. They're the only complex thing that I can freehand no problem without needing a reference, honestly. Ever play Angry Birds? Nah. I thought the movie was cute, though. Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yeah. Has anyone ever been weirdly obsessed with you? No. Are you afraid someone might steal your identity someday? It's not something I actively worry about at all. Like, you don't want my identity, I promise. Do you have any talents that come naturally? Growing up, adults always told me I was a "gifted" artist and writer. Also that I seem to have an unnaturally strong connection with animals. I've always been that person where a pet's owner is like "omg ____ never lets people do that" and whatnot. Have you ever had plastic surgery before? I haven't. It's funny though, how opposed to it I used to be... Like goddamn, I was such a fucking stupid and honestly judgmental teenager, regarding many things. I look back on her and cringe. Like damn dude, if you have a safe surgical procedure to help you enjoy the body you're stuck with the rest of your life, you go for it, boo. Are you afraid of airplane rides? Not really. What’s the best Valentine’s Day gift you’ve gotten? There was this one year where Jason had to go to work on Valentine's Day and I was super bummed, yet he still surprised me with a heart-shaped box of chocolates, roses, and a game I really wanted, Heavy Rain. I thought it was the sweetest. What is something you lose often? My phone. ;-; Do you enter a lot of sweepstakes? I don't enter any. Do you consider yourself physically active? *chuckles nervously* Do you have Netflix? Yeah. Favorite salad dressing? That Olive Garden replica you can buy at the store. Do you enjoy dancing? Once upon a time I did. My body could never handle it now. Have you ever considered writing a novel? Many times. Snow or sand? Snow, by twenty thousand miles. It is VERY hard for me to walk through sand, and I also hate hate hate hate HATE the sensation. Do you like sour candy? Heeeeeell yeah man. Have you gotten any injuries lately? If so, what & how? Nothing notable. Are you a clumsy person? Like you would not fucking believe. Last male you talked to in person? I think my primary physician's nurse. Are you thinking about asking anyone out? No. Pink lemonade or regular lemonade? Pink lemonade, for sure. But I love both. Chocolate or strawberry milk? CHOCOLATE. Strawberry milk is disgusting. Have you ever won a contest on the radio?No. Is there a song that reminds you of your best friend? There's quite a few. Has a book ever made you cry? Yes. Do you automatically check your phone when you wake up? Yes, for the time. Do you know anyone who has a pet bunny? Not that I'm aware. What store or website would you most like a gift card for? Rebel's Market. How do you feel about wolves? I adore wolves. Beautiful, majestic creatures with very interesting social dynamics. Name your top 3 favorite musical instruments. Electric guitar, violin, piano. What was the last book(s) you bought at a bookstore? At an actual bookstore, I think it was The Fault In Our Stars, which I never actually read. Do you use Pinterest? Yes. Do you know any sign language? No. Do you have a favorite poem? No. Do you have a dog? No. The one we were pretty much stuck with has a home now. Have you ever read The Little House on the Prairie series? I haven't. Have you ever gone on a service trip to an underprivileged country? No. Have you ever performed in front of more than 100 people? Yes, for dance. When (if ever) was the last time you went to church? Forever ago, I don't even remember the last time. What's a quote you think is really powerful? There's a whole lot. The first one that came to mind was, "An eye for an eye will leave the world blind," which I do believe has great depth in it. Have you ever had to do your laundry at a laundromat? Yes. Are you the oldest person who lives in your household? No. My mom is turning 60 (... I think?) this year. If you have tattoos, how long have you had them? I got my first the day I turned 18. Do you and your dad have similar personalities? We're alike in some ways, imo most notably in that we have NO fucking common sense, embarrassing as that is to admit. We're both kinda slow at understanding things, too. What were the last three things you had to drink? Mountain Lightning, milk, and water. What did your family usually do for Easter when you were a kid? Us three kids all got Easter baskets full of stuff, and we'd go egg-hunting when we were all awake. My little sister Nicole would always wake our parents up in excitement, haha. My parents hid plenty throughout the house, and there was always this one "special" egg that was actually from Mom's childhood and was extremely intricate and beautiful. You basically "won" the hunt if you found it, and it was extremely well-hidden. When you have house guests over, where do they sleep? Historically since living here, my two half-sisters and their spouses (the only people who've stayed over) slept in what is *technically* Mom's room, but for whatever reason this woman still insists on sleeping on the couch in the living room, I guess because she's used to it after all the years she didn't have her own room and bed. Are you emotionally stable? LOLOOLOLOOLLOLOOLOOLOLLOOLOLLLLLLLLLLL Do you still talk to the very first person you had sex with? No. Are you an atheist? No. I don't quite know how to define what I am, but since I believe there's SOME higher power, I don't think it's fitting to call me an atheist. What’s the largest bug you’ve ever found in your house? Hm... I'm unsure. Probably a male mosquito, 'cuz them bitches are big'ins. Would it annoy you if a stranger called you "sweetie?" If it was a man, I'd be creeped out. Are you into fashion design? Not really. What’s the worst thing you’ve gone through in the past year? My leg muscles continuing to degrade, honestly. I have to do something about this shit. How did you get your last bruise? I fell when stepping over the stupid dog gate. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? Yikes, no. Would you rather have some bacon or beef jerky? Bacon. Do you like your orange juice with lots or no pulp? NONE. Do you wear skinny jeans? Back when I wore jeans, they were the only kind I wore. What projects are you doing now for school? I'm outta school. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I have no idea. Do you like coconut flavored things? No. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? No, thank god. I know someone who might've almost been, though. I don't know what the fucking pig was going to do to her if my sister and I weren't there. Have you ever wished for bigger boobs? No. Being overweight, I just want smaller ones now, haha. Have you ever gone a full day without interacting with another person? I've gone many days without it. How many relationships have you been in that lasted less than a year? Four, if you're counting everyone that had the "boyfriend" title. Where were you going the last time you were on a plane? Home from Illinois. Where were you going the last time you were on a train? I've never been on one. Have you ever been significantly more physically fit than you are now? Holy fuck, yes. You would never guess now that I was perfectly healthy in high school especially, yet I still thought I was kinda fat. It hurts so much to look back on. When growing up, did you parents keep the house very tidy? I mean not excessively, but Mom was pretty dedicated to keeping the house in decent condition. With three kids though, of course the house was somewhat messy with toys and all. When you shop at IKEA, do you always stop to eat a snack/meal in the cafeteria? ... There's a fucking cafeteria in a furniture store? o_o I've never been there before. How many watches do you own? None, save for one in my "treasure box" from when I was a kid. I was SO SO SO obsessed with Finding Nemo that I kept my broken one. I did the same with my horribly aged sneakers, like the soles were coming off and Mom finally made me stop wearing them, ha. Are there any ways in which you greatly differ from everyone else in your family? I do fucking nothing and am useless to society. Should teenagers be allowed to have their cell phones with them in class? Yes, because emergencies happen. I personally think it's best to maybe have your cell phone flipped over on the corner of your desk or something and on vibrate, that way the noise isn't too disruptive and the teacher can see you're not just using it for other purposes. Do you have any gay relatives? Yes. Have you ever had to have a pet put down? Sigh, multiple. Have you unfollowed, deleted, or blocked anyone on social media recently? If so, what was the reason? Not recently. How many cups of coffee do you typically drink per day? None. Do you know what your vocal range is? No, but it's not very broad. What’s the biggest financial mistake you’ve ever made? I haven't been in this position before. Have you ever been in a relationship where there was a large difference in maturity levels? No. What’s the longest you’ve ever stayed as a guest at someone’s house? I wanna say over a month while we were technically homeless. How bad was your acne when you were a teenager? Oh dear, it was rough. Like there were people who had it worse than me, but ya girl was lookin preeeetty rough lmao.

[aeolianchemistry]

hi, i hope this is ok to ask? a couple of years ago you responded to a post about singing voice on t, and i was just wondering how your range is now?

hey! i have no clue how long this has sat in my asks bc frankly i never check them, but in case you’re still around, here goes! i’m not sure what sort of details you are interested in, so i’ll give a general overview of my vocal situation. i apologise in advance for the length of it.

i believe last time i spoke about my voice was while it was in a very awkward spot. it has developed a lot since then, and additionally i have two other choir friends who have since started T, to compare notes with! i haven’t done a proper range assessment for a while, but iirc correctly my range now runs from about F2 up to upwards of C5 (possibly up to E5 on a good day?). within that there’s a lot of kinda baffling tone and strangely placed breaks. i don’t seem to have a normal falsetto; instead, it very much feels and sounds like i’m an alto when i sing above my break. that break does not sit in the same place most tenors/baritones have a break! mine is around A4 for some reason, and for quite a while it was a big problem to sing in that area - which is ofc where a lot of tenor parts are written in choral music lol. i still occasionally have to swap to another voice part if a song spends too much time around G4-B4 bc my voice gets very stressed and tired (this used to mean dropping down to baritone, but now it usually means hopping up to alto!)

below my break i do sound like a more typical low tenor/baritone, and it is in many ways easier than my high range. i can get pretty decent volume without too much work, and it’s comfortable! what i really love, tho, is the return of my high range.

idr what i’ve discussed in the past, but my higher range was a source of a lot of stress for a long time. about three months into T i was losing high range, and it wasn’t too long before everything above C4 just disappeared, and the few notes above what is now my break were extremely weak. i had a very narrow range for a while and sung a lot of baritone/low tenor. i spent about a year like this, i think, and towards the end of it (this would’ve been spring 2019, so around my one year anniversary of T) my voice sloooowly crept back upwards and reinstalled those higher notes, and now i have a lot of my prior alto back!! aside from that,

the next biggest challenge i faced was projection. for the first probly year of T, my singing voice was extremely weak. it was prone to cracking, it got very thin in the few higher notes i had, and i could not project at all. i could barely be heard by people singing next to me in choir. i worried. i was stressed. i wondered if i’d made a horrible mistake. i missed some very meaningful solo opportunities. i went from being one of the strongest voices in choir to one of the weakest. it was frustrating on a very personal level. i couldn’t even really laugh properly! it honestly wasn’t until last fall (almost a year and a half on T) that i noticed any significant change on this front. i suppose it had been gradually stabilising since earlier that year, but last fall was when i felt i could really be heard again. this coinciding with the return of my high range and also joining a new choir (whom i’d idolised for my entire choir career!!) with and extremely enthusiastic and supportive conductor meant that, after a year of fending off despair and burying how upset i was about losing my voice for so long, i could finally open up again and really sing. and be heard!

which brings us to now. i’m a lil over 2years on T now, and i am typically placed as Tenor 1 in choir, with stints upwards into Alto. after sitting down w fellow trans singers, and also once or twice w my conductor, we have discovered that my voice is very unique (even for a trans voice)! most prominently bc of my strangely placed break and the alto quality of my higher range (which i still hesitate to call falsetto: i more often use the term head voice, which is typically used by treble voices, bc it feels like my old head voice used to, just a bit lower), which differ from other trans singers i’ve spoken to. it makes it a bit tough to find parts that work for my voice, and tracking down solo audition pieces from typical repertoire is a challenge. but overall i am extremely happy with how it has settled!

as a final note, for anyone who is considering transitioning, or perhaps in the midst of it, and to whom singing is important? it is going to be difficult and disheartening at times, and it will feel like you are going backwards. but the best thing you can do is keep singing through it all. obv take care of you and your voice, don’t push it harder than it is able to go, but don’t give up on singing even when it is a challenge and it doesn’t sound like you want. it’s important to get to know it as it changes! i was in and out of multiple choirs throughout all this, and that was invaluable to the development of my voice.

if this is a topic that is meaningful to many people, i could ask my other trans choir friends if they’d like to write about their experiences? they’re not quite as far along as i, but their experiences are already quite different from mine.

(also, if people want clarification on any terminology i used, pls ask! i have been a musician surrounded by musicians for most of my life so, while i think i avoided anything too technical, im not sure what terminology people are and are not familiar with!)

[axayt-thenightsoul-fox]

Hey i got a question What made you start this whole drawing thing?

Well... I wanted to answer this ask today cuz heh ik is a stupid milestone but idek what will happen in the future so...

2 years (and a month) ago i started my tumblr account (though i like tumblr more than Deviant Art cuz of Asks thingy and plus that was was getting annoying every time i tried post something on D.A. Idek why) so this question is really something..

I used to be a gaming kind of kid with no social skills and only gaming friends, my English was just basic (enough to talk and maybe swear -. _-.) so when my pc got weak for the games that got constantly updated.. I had no choice then to stop playing tf2 and other games like that.. Making me lose interest (and before anything! I gotta say! I hated drawing! Cuz well i saw it boring and cuz i had no inspiration).. So since fnaf series was at it's forth game, gotta say i tried making my oc without drawing him and i managed to! First was on a Minecraft server

Back then i was just making uhh cringe drawing of fnaf characters in high school (actually i wasn't in high school when i done the building in mc of my "oc") and trying to fuse nightmare foxy.. With hhh every other oc like foxy with chica but no gradient sometimes like lego i don't know where the drawings are but if you guys wanna see, i will try find em. Well after lots of playing on Minecraft and many days of just watching YouTube gamers, with a month before i entered grade 8 (like june? August? Ik it shows down on my profile roblox the date i created the account) i started playing roblox! And first game on there was Vampire hunters 2 and was so fun! There i met Mangle! Who given me a funny moment xD she thought i was a boy (cuz mostly i pretend to be one in games) and was having a crush on me, was honestly cute. Then i think in September i started playing on roblox, animatronic world : adventure edition, i honestly tried to go as close as i could to my idea of how my oc would look like and ended up like this

Well was a start... And after a few days of playing and well making up a story like "this is Foxy The NightSoul and he is cursed by idek" then for a while i roleplayed with a friend i lost connection named Goblin... Idr the rest of his name and with someone else who named their oc DemonBear, and welp there was a start of a story about a tortured soul, then Yoxxy The LightSoul was made who back then was called only Light cuz.. Eh limited mind, then i meet VixieCookie100 who well i role-played almost every day X3 and i can tell ya, no matter how bullied i was back then at school, i was mostly excited about the story we both made! (besides that she her oc Faded Killed Axayt and left him bodyless ^^;) was like the Knight and the Princess, honestly if i could remember everything i would tell ya guys! Well when she wasn't around i was randomly killing ocs in random rps i was getting into hehe... Then i meet Losty! Hehe and from there well i wanna say now short, my life was kinda changing! I was never suicidal and i thought back then that suicide is a stupid thing! ( clearly younger me would beat me up for becoming suicidal - w-") well i made lots of friends who i still talk to and to finally answer the anon ask! I loved my friends ocs and i wanted to bring them to life, back then my favorite youtubers was Crynight, Xboxgamerk, MrBreino, shgurr, Bonnie Bunny(GoldBox), Zajcu37, and many more! I was looking forward to animate in SFM but eh... I was having a bad pc.. So! Since i got more and more excited about their ocs and how amazing they were plus i loved my friends cuz they were always there for me back then.. Even now they still are and i appreciate it QwQ so i started drawing cuz of them! They inspired me so much! My first drawings was my ocs cuz... Ehh i had to start somehow... Then i tried drew them! And honestly Losty... Bunnies are damn hard to start draw when ya don't know almonst nothing about anatomy xD

So straight answer! My reason for starting drawing are my Friends! More specifically my old ones from roblox who are still with me QwQ like @riccidev (cuz the others i don't think they have a blog and they do, idk them cuz they rarely used them?? I guess)

Plus here is the redraw of this! (bonus a demon bird.. Thing..)

BEFORE!

AFTER! :3

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #068

Are you someone’s best friend? Girt calls me his best friend. Do you have a dog? She's technically my mom's, but yeah. How many kids do you want when you’re older? I'm not having any kids because I would be a horrible mother. What’s your most popular post? On what? On a public social media site (so excluding like Facebook where only friends are able to interact with my stuff), it would be a gif I made on my old Tumblr of Markiplier's dog Chica with angel wings running into his arms. That one went fandom-viral to where Mark even saw and reblogged it and I couldn't sleep for like three days lmfao. A popular book you haven’t read yet? To Kill a Mockingbird is one.

Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone? No. What was the last present someone gave you and what was the occasion? Omg so Girt got me a case AND manual for Silent Hill 2, both in pristine condition, and I almost screamed lmao. I have all my cases and/or manuals for almost the whole series on one of my walls, and missing SH2 was a sore thing to lack, because it's my favorite. D: For context, physical copies of old Silent Hill games aren't produced anymore, so they're not easy to come by. He got it for me for our anniversary. Do you have any pets? How long have you had them? I list my pets enough, so I'll just do the second half of the question. Venus: since 2017. Roman: I think like... around a year after Venus? Idr. Cookie: almost a year. What’s the WORST show on Adult Swim? I fucking hated Rooster Teeth the very few times I've seen it. If you could work at any retail store, which one would it be? I will fucking never work in retail EVER again. What’s the name of the last cat you pet? Roman! (: Have you ever been for a ride in the back of a truck? Yep. When was the last time it rained where you live? Just a few days ago. We got some of the remnants of Hurricane Ian and so we had a streak of rain for a few days. Are you a fan of penguins? Yeah, they're real cute. Do you have a friend whose name starts with "L?" Describe him/her. I'll go with my friend Lyndsey here! She's the guild master of my main character's guild in World of Warcraft, and she's a firecracker. Super funny and loves to tease her buds, absolutely including me, ha ha. She is a very friendly and welcoming person and I'm always happy if I see her on if I'm also in the game. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? I have, more than once. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Not that I know of. Who are five people you find attractive? Mark Fischbach, Richard Kruspe, Oliver Riedel, Ruby Rose, and Link Neal. Would you let your kid smoke weed? I wouldn't be happy about it because I don't want my child inhaling smoke, but if they were maybe like... 16 and super super firm about it (AND if it was legal), I guess? They wouldn't be allowed to in our house, though. You're stepping outside for that. My house will not smell like smoke. Do you think marijuana is safer than alcohol? Of course I do. Both have health hazards obviously, but alcohol... you abuse that and it will SERIOUSLY fuck your shit up. What is the closest thing to you that is pink? The big water bottle I got from my sister has a marbled pattern on it that has some pinks. Are tomatoes the best food in the world? I actually don't really like tomatoes. Have you seen The Blindside? I have not, actually. Who was the last person to call you babe? Girt. According to your ex you are...? According to "the" ex Jason, he probably thinks I'm crazy still. If he thinks ANYTHING about me after all this time. Most recent ex I'm sure thinks I'm a bitch. Do you like the government? ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL ASKING THIS What’s your religion? I'm anti-religion. It's caused far, FAR more harm than good and I don't want a goddamn thing to do with it. Do you like America, do you really? HELL fucking no, this is such a fucking garbage country that somehow thinks it's the hottest shit. Would you rather have roommates or live alone? I could NEVER live alone. I would go insane with depression and loneliness. Is your profile private? My Facebook profile is, yes. Do you break things when you are mad? No. I want fucking NOTHING to do with people like that. Is your father considered the head of the household? First off, my parents aren't together, but when they were, Mom was definitely the boss. I don't think she was financially and with legal stuff, but my mom was absolutely the boss. I don't know if he's considered the "head of the household" with his current wife and stepson. What personality traits did you acquire from your dad? This is gonna sound mean, but... I got his total and complete lack of common sense. What do you and your father do together? Not very much these days. I rarely ever see him. When I do, it's usually my sisters, me, him, and his wife going out for a meal. Growing up we went fishing together all the time, but I'm not into fishing for fun anymore so I don't really ask him to go. Do you look anything like your father? I've heard I do before. What Christmas (or Hanukkah) present do you remember the most? Getting a container of dog food waaaaay in the back of the tree that meant I was finally getting a dog. <3 Then we got my Teddy boy. :') If your partner wanted to wait until marriage before having sex, would you stay in that relationship? Yep, no biggie. What’s your favorite Tumblr tag to track? Just "Rammstein," really. Or "Paulchard" which is the ship between the two guitarists. 😭 If you go back to one point in time to give advice to yourself, when would you go and what would you say? I would want to go to the night of my breakup before I tried to do any real damage to myself and tell myself I WILL get over Jason. What is the best TV theme song ever? I've always loved the tune for That '70s Show. Have you ever met someone through the internet, then met them in real life? Once, yes. I want to meet more people, too. <3 Do you believe in giving kids medals and trophies for participation? Yes, honestly. Let them know their efforts were worth something and seen and applauded. Would you ever use an online dating service? Nah, never again. What is your ethnic heritage? German, Irish, and a tiny bit of Polish. It's possible there's more because we don't know my dad's history. Would you prefer to live in: a city, the suburbs, the countryside, or the mountains? The mountains are my fucking DREAM, but I'm totally into the countryside/middle or nowhere too. Would you want to know the exact date and time you were going to die? Absolutely not. What have you never tried, but would really like to someday? What’s holding you back? Weed honestly, ha ha. But because I don't want to smoke anything, it'd have to be an edible, which I know have some REAL horror stories. I am very curious how it would affect my anxiety and depression. How do you express your creativity? I write and draw. The person you last kissed finds someone new, what is your reaction? I'd be completely devastated. Has someone that you liked told you that you are a waste of their time? WOW, no. Ever been called a bitch? Yes. Who is the last person you were in a car with? My mom. How often do you straighten your hair? Never. Were you a planned baby? I know Mom wanted a kid when she got pregnant with me, but idk about my dad. I would hope it was something they agreed upon. Were your parents married when you were born? No, actually. What is your birth date? February 5th, 1996. Were you a strange child? I think I was. It's the root of me thinking people think I'm weird in a bad way. Are you scared of growing up old alone? Yeah, honestly... Favorite food? I'm fucking horrible, I like things like cheeseburgers, pizza, chocolate, all that bad shit, ha ha. What food makes you want to gag? Beans is one. I can't swallow them. Have you ever been in love? Yes, twice. Has anyone ever been in love with you? I know two people have. Have you ever worn fishnets? I have fishnet fingerless gloves I used to wear a lot in high school. Do you have any secrets that nobody knows about? Yes. Does your bathroom have a window? No. Are tongue piercings slutty? Oh wow, I had no idea piercings were capable of being slutty. Learn something new everyday. Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? Yeah, a good number of people. Last person to take off your pants, besides you? ... That's a good question? That's probably not happened since I was with Jason. Do you and your dad get along? Yeah. Do you shop mostly with your parents, your friends, or by yourself? My mom. How easy was it to get over the person you last dated? It was honestly pretty easy. I'm probably never gonna truly understand what Sara and I had. What are you listening to right now? Watching WoolieVS play Devil May Cry 5. That was a series I've always wanted to play more of myself, only played the third one and I couldn't beat the final boss, ha ha. When was the last time you got a haircut? I'm actually getting it cut AND dyed tomorrow!! Are you tired right now? No. What’s something you do that really frustrates people who are closest to you? How much I overthink, probably. As well as how picky I am with food. Have you ever been in an adult toy store? No. Ever had unprotected sex? No. Ever worn lingerie? No. Have you ever been “choked”? UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH yes Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? Ummmm... probably mountains, but idk. Or maybe when I went to an island on a 4th grade field trip and the far end of the island's beach was wild with aggressive waves and stuff. Do you like to travel? God, I wish I could. I've barely travelled anywhere but it's always amazing. Who knows you better than anyone else? Mom. Favorite genre of music? Heavy metal. Ever slow danced with anyone? One person. Is it cute when a guy buys you flowers? So it's weird, I don't like the concept of pulling out a flower and thus killing it just to give it to someone else, but I gotta admit, it's cute somehow. Do you know a secret about one of your friends that would embarrass them? It probably would. Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? It was in his house with family over, so I'm sure. How many times a week do you see the person you have feelings for? Not even always once a week. It sucks, honestly, but I get it. How do you feel about chocolate covered strawberries? I like 'em. Have you ever been called a bad influence? Yes, by someone who was in NO goddamn place to say that about me when she was a garbage fucking woman.

[herotheshiro]

ok i just caught up on the happenings of even if you don’t love me and hooooo-eee bc i am actually quite excited for the manhwa’s return in feb now. if you want to read my thoughts on the story prior to like ch 40ish on, it’s here ... i’m not reblogging it for my thoughts here today bc that post is so long even w a read more and i expect this post to be on the longer side

but ok, first off, i did NOT realize there was a fucking time skip... i knew jiwook left school and his apartment, but i thought their next meeting after that was them still the same age as before... i was looking at the korean version so that’s one reason but also usually stories do a visual version of “du-du-du-du-du, X years later” but the author didn’t here, instead they had the characters verbally be like ‘oh the last time we met was 4 years ago’... which i actually like bc it feels more realistic. also that pic of the white shiba makes more sense bc i suspected time had passed but literal years makes more sense than like the maybe weeks-months i thought before

but anyway i’m surprised i predicted the plot point abt seungeon agreeing to be part of his family’s company in exchange for the loan money but i mean if you looked back on the beginning of the story you’d know (bc the last time i wrote about this manhwa, the latest ch had just ended w seungeon barging in to his sister’s office so you knew shit was abt to go down bw them even if i didn’t know what abt exactly). obviously this doesn’t excuse seungeon’s later behavior, but i can understand why he’s so pissed at jiwook during their reunion bc he basically gave up his life for a family who doesn’t care for him FOR jiwook but then jiwook left so now he’s just doing this shit for nothing.

and man reading jiwook’s thoughts abt how he wants seungeon to hate him so they won’t meet again (also title reference/explanation... i’m emo) ... and then it’s implied that he prob still holds a flame for seungeon even 4 years later (when he hesitated to hit him even tho he had good reason to bc he knew seungeon doesn’t like it.... it’s sad bc you should really have stopped liking him esp after he raped you, but also bro.....)... EDIT: ok nm i went back and actually reread the time jiwook was thinking back on and i think he hesitated to hit him more so bc he was afraid of a potentially violent response. bc i forgot seungeon hit him back in that scene :/ but i mean i still get the vibe that jiwook hasn’t fully gotten over his feelings for him or it’s complicated rather than complete dislike/apathy

second, i went back and read through some old chapters again and i actually did not remember/read (lol? i’ve mostly “read” this manhwa in parts rather than like all at once bc some of the shit that happens is kinda fucked up so i don’t wanna read it lol) that seungeon actually doesn’t really have any part in the succession of the company he was born into which i thought he did before... which is important info and reasoning as to why he clings so hard to jiwook. obviously it was fucked up when he tried to use his sad backstory to get jiwook to stay w him out of pity but i was like damn he truly is so emotionally messed up that he’s like i NEED jiwook’s love..... i also re-read the aftermath of blondie (i still can’t remember his name lmao) killing the idol’s manager which 1. made me learn again the whole drama bw him and seungeon is mainly abt their statuses which i literally never commit to memory bc i don’t care abt blondie at all and 2. confirmed that he had jiwook’s dad killed. i mean even looking at the korean version the dad’s death felt suspicious PLUS jiwook’s accusation in the first few pages of ch 1 but then when blondie was like ‘lmao time to fuck up their relationship’ i was like damn... so he knew abt the dad’s debt and predicted how the need for a fuckton of money would mess up their relationship. idr what i thought before bc the ch 1 stuff makes it seem like seungeon was the one to kill jiwook’s dad and i don’t think i had reread the manager murder aftermath in my last post but looks like it’s just jiwook’s misunderstanding (maybe even blondie insinuating that lol)

anyway i’m excited for season 2 fr now after getting all this info. so w a timeskip of 4 years, that means that blondie will prob be returning to korea again soon, and just in time to keep throwing wrenches into the relationship bw seungeon and jiwook as i provided an example of above lol. and obviously the idol’s role in the story isn’t over, i’m fully expecting him to return and try to blackmail blondie for hurting him both physically and emotionally and i’m looking forward to it lol. i mean yes this manhwa is kinda stressful to read bc i’m like i know y’all are just fresh out of schooling at this point and have a lot of feelings abt your relationship(s) but can we please learn to be emotionally healthy and communicate for once BUT i am looking forward to the journey! slash looking forward to the next time we can have jiwook and seungeon smile at each other genuinely which i hope will actually happen in s2 bc idk if i can handle an entire season of them at each other’s throats the entire time on top of other forces putting pressure on them

[semi-personal]

idk what to name this

Idk if I have said it before but I'm a religious person, no I'm not gunna push my religion (trust me if I hate it happening to me than you probably hate it too) I just want to talk about my religion is all.

So I'm mormon, not a great mormon, but I'm one of them. I grew up in this church so normal not a converted I was born into the mormon church.

And a few things i just wanna state, I have been inactive off and on my whole life. Heck. I was inactive for about two close to three years before a few months ago. So, no I'm deff not great at this, not to mention the fact I smoked and did drugs along with drinking. So in noway am I saying that what ever I say in this post is correct I guess. (I really need some one to proff read these incase so they make sense-) 

either way- (i say as i just got back to this because i was looking in my drafts- this is like a week old- idr what i was talking about but lets contine antways- good luck understanding my word vomit-) 

i think what i was going to start talking about before was some of the diffrent things i have had go on in my life and things i have had problems with. things such as, being a “roof top mormon” , having a hard time understanding things in church, and people forcing their relogouns on others (that one just be cause i think it need to be talked about) 

“Rooftop mormon” if you dont know what that means it is basicly stateing that you are in a sense pretending almost (or at least thats how i see it, i could be wrong on some of what i say, im just going off of my pointof veiw)  im going to note real fast that this isnt just my religon that has this. almost all of them have one at one point. any who- i was talking wth my family one night, me my mother and grandmother were all talking and i heard this as the comment “ there are alot of rooftop mormons runnign around right now” and me at the time not knowing what that meant i looked at them both and asked and got my awnswer and with that answer i got to thinking.. i at some point had problems with this as it turned out, i didnt know what it was at the time; all i knew at the time was that I wasnt being a good person like i had preached all so offten. and because of that relization i worked hard to fix it how i could.. ill be the first to say it, it was and still is a struggle. i have my good days and my bad just as anyone else. me finally looking at this is one of the things that kinda hurt but are good for me  to look at. i dont really know how i want to talk about this one too much so i might make another post for just this but for now im going to move on to the next thing.

another thing i mentioned is having a hard time understanding things in church and i think the only way i can say this that makes sense is that i would look at other people and they could give answers to questeins that i couldnt and i didnt understand where they got them, all be it i still dont always know (and by that i mean i still have the worlds hardest time giving an answer in church ) it took me longer than i like to addmit that it was because i just didnt focuse on what  god wanted me to foucuse on and its because of that that really got to me. mainly the fact that it has taken idk how many years for me to finallly take a deep breath and just listen to what god wants. one of my saving graces is that i at least took my time and looked, some people dont even get that far.. im going to be really honest and say, i still dont know what im doing.. im just kinda going with my gut.. or in other ways to say it, im doing what the holy ghost, god, jesus christ. and heavenly mother are asking of me.. i hope im getting this all corretct, as i said before, all this is coming from my point of veiw, and im just trying to say this and it make sense lol..

one of the last things i wanted to hit on was, people forcing there religiouns on to one another.. this is something that i have learned in recent years is more common that i thought, also tho, its one of those that just as before i just dont understand how to put it in words.. mainly typed words.. i could babble my head off in an desperate feul of hopfulnes that the babble makes sense but typed words have always been hard for me. i still dont know why tho, best not to put to much focuse on it tho,, but i hope that just the putting focuse on it all helps people see things; hope people look at some of the things going on, i will never take away a learning experience on my hand, you want to teach me stuff about your religoun? go for it! i love to learn! but, on the other hand, do not stop me from trying to teach you! i want others to understand my point just as much as they do theres!  (idr how all the “theres and theirs work_) idk if all this makes sense in typed form- i hope it does- in conclution be kind, dont force people to do things they dont want and if they are ok with learning remember to let them teach if they want too...

i hope this all made sense- this took like a mounth to finish- its late- first day of school starts in like- a few hours- goof night / morning/ day/afternoon/ be safe be kind and learn what you can!!!!!!     

(am i doing this right? i dont know either-)

[smores100]

tagged by @troybarnesbucky, thanks! :D

Why did you choose your url?

‘smores’ is a nickname i was given maaaaaany years ago when i was just starting to get into the online world (rip imdb msg boards). my username was mors or something like that, based on my real name, and the people i became friends with started calling me ‘smores’ instead, i really liked it, and it’s just stuck ever since. the ‘100′ is just a random number bc smores was most likely already taken when i made this blog

Any side-blogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them

nope! either you love me with all my hyperfixations or you don’t love me at all, i’m much too lazy for side blogs

How long have you been on tumblr?

next month it’ll be 11 years, been here since 2010 jfc

Do you have a queue tag?

nah, i usually stick everything in the queue anyway so i don’t have to reblog everything myself so there’s no point for a specific queue tag

Why did you start your blog in the first place?

hmm, i don’t really remember, but tumblr was probably this Brand New Thing back then everyone was talking about so i probably figured i might as well get one too bc why not. over a decade later i’m still here for the pretty gifs 😌

Why did you choose your icon?

bc mickey milkovich is one of the greatest characters of all time and i love him with all my heart. and look how crazily cute he looks with his gun 🥰

Why did you choose your header?

bc ian and mickey are one of my most favorite otps and their wedding is a cause for celebration ❤

What’s your post with the most notes?

i rarely make my own posts, but this one crying over ian and mickey dancing to those specific lyrics of ‘perfect’ at their wedding and how poetic cinema it was became so much more popular than i ever expected akjdkajd the gallavich fandom was really going through it that day :’)

How many people do you follow?

i follow 255 blogs but like 90% of them are inactive anyway, i just don’t feel like going through them and unfollowing. i can’t follow too many (active) blogs bc it overwhelms me and gives me anxiety

Have you ever made a shitpost?

like i said i rarely make my own posts, but i’ve made a couple of shitposts here and there back in the day

How often do you use tumblr?

every day, even if it’s just to stop by for half an hour and put some posts in my queue. if i’m away for more than a couple of days, then something’s probably not quite right

Did you have a fight/argument with a blog once? Who won?

kinda? i found out someone blocked me and didn’t understand why, so i reached out and asked, and then apologized and promised to never do it again, but they were a b**** to me in return and made me feel like shit. so not exactly a fight, more like a confrontation where i was trying to be nice and the other side was just mean. i’m still blocked so i guess they won, lol. don’t mess with noorhelm stans y’all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but that’s about it i think, i tend to keep to myself bc i really reeeeeally hate confrontations

How do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this post’?

i hate them. don’t tell me what i need to reblog, i can decide for myself, thanks. also stealing @troybarnesbucky answer bc so true --> “fucking annoying, a symptom of this performative activist mentality that has been so pervasive online in the last few years and I hate it. “

Do you like tag games?

yeah, tho sometimes it depends on my mood or how much free time i have or on what those tag games are, like for example there’s a lot of music ones and i don’t have itunes or spotify or any sort of music library really so those are usually less relevant to me 🤷‍♀️

Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

idk??? i’m not sure i have any, it’s not something that matters to me anyway

Do you have a crush on a mutual?

I love all my mutuals and followers 😊

Last song you listened to?

'saved my life’ by sia (it makes me think of cg ian and mickey and then i cry....ain’t fanfiction the best???)

What’s your phone background/lockscreen?

this lovely darren criss pic. it’s soooo pretty and i love it but i’ve been wanting to change it for years now bc it’s been my lockscreen since i got this phone, but idr how to do it and i’m too lazy to look it up and try to figure it out so 🙄 (but hey at least i managed to finally change my ringtone! baby steps)

tagging anyone who follows me and wants to do this! :)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #324

���i'll sharpen my knife upon the stone made from the ruin of a dead god's throne  /  listen to these words as my seeds are sown: it's time to amputate the infected zone”

What is the last game you played on your phone? Pokemon GO. Do you give people personalized ringtones? No. Does your phone screen have any cracks? No. What makeup products are you wearing, if any? None. How would you describe your skin tone? Very pale. Do you have your full birth name on Facebook? Yes. What is your least favorite fruit? Probably cherries. How often do you walk around barefoot? Whenever I'm in my house or another person's who prefers shoes off inside. Would you need to sleep with someone before considering marrying them? Nah. Do you think people look up to you? No. How often do you have trouble sleeping at night? Every night. Do you ever rehearse conversations before you have them? YEP. In my head, at least. Can you name five current world leaders? No, haha... When taking a cab, do you talk to the driver? Cabs aren't really a thing here. I've never been in one. Do you always read the book before you see a movie based on a book? No. What is your favorite urban legend? The Jersey Devil. Mothman is dope and super creepy, too. I love cryptids, period. Are you an elitist (even a little bit) when it comes to anything? What? No, because I hate people like that so much. What type of fabric is most comfortable for clothing? I dunno, I don't pay attention to this. If you wear one – bras with or without a wire? With, so long as they're not poking out and stabbing you... If you wear one – are you able to find cute bras in your size? Definitely not. What length do you like your shorts to be? You'd have to pay me some big bucks to see me in shorts, period. Have you ever cut off jeans or other pants and made them into shorts? No. Have you cut the sleeves out of T-shirts to make tank tops? I don't think so, no. What was the last disappointing movie you saw? *shrug* What was the last disappointing book you read? Even bigger *shrug*. Do you ever watch compilation videos? Of what? Rarely, but if I do, they're generally old Vines and stuff. What was the last thing you rolled your eyes about? Probably something stupid on Facebook. Do you like Hellboy? If so, do you prefer the old movies or the new one? I have no thoughts on this. Favorite Disney character who isn’t royalty? Dory! Do you have a lot of people whom you don’t talk to all the time or see all the time, but still consider to be your friends? Yeah, like friends from high school and online childhood ones. Do you typically do your make up the same each time? Or do you like to change it up often? It's just about always the same. Do you enjoy making surveys as well as taking them or do you just prefer to copy, paste, fill out, post? The latter. I don't make surveys. Have you got a significant other? How are things between the two of you? If not, what was your most meaningful/long term relationship and how did that come to an end? I don't. My longest and deepest relationship was with Jason, and he ended it when my depression became too much for him to handle. Have you spent much time in a vehicle lately? What for and where have you gone most this past month? No. I've barely left the house lately for obvious reasons. Has it rained yet this year where you live? How about hailed? It's been raining like crazy lately. A few mornings ago, it also hailed very heavily for a few minutes. What is your favorite thing about Mac computers? I like the sleek, clean look of them. What is your favorite thing about PCs? They have more power for playing games. What are some errands you need to run soon? None. Well, we have a Wal-Mart order to pick up I think tomorrow, and I'll probably ride with Mom. What color was your high school graduation gown? Red. It was between that and navy, and I was really hoping for the latter, but it lost the vote. The red was so obnoxious. How many graduation gowns have you worn? One. Are your parents’ dreams for your life different than your own? I don't think they have their own specific "dreams" for my life. They both want me to create my own future that makes me happy. Have your dreams for your life changed? Definitely, over all the years. Would you ever want to learn sign language? Not especially, but it'd be cool I suppose. What’s the last thing you had for dinner? Chicken tenders, I think? Or was that the night before? Have you ever performed a solo dance in front of a crowd? No, but I almost did. At my old dance studio, the high school seniors had the option to a solo, and I was working on one to "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson, because it was and still is a song I really feel in regards to my mental health and many medications I "have" to be on. I was doing fine, but I stopped when I realized I just really was too nervous as a dance competition approached. Have you ever sung a solo? No. What was the last job you had? Deli worker. For two hours. What was your first job? Sales associate at GameStop. Who was/were your favorite coworker(s)? I never really had one. At what age did you start experiencing sexual attraction, if any? I don't know. Probably my freshman year of high school is when my levels of attraction to people reached a sexual and not just romantic level. Have you ever split open a rock with a hammer, to see a geode inside? UGH no, but I so wanna find one of those one day. What states have you lived in? Only North Carolina. S.O.S., get me outta here. What is your favorite thing about the month in which it is now? You start to see some flowers blooming. Who were your best friends in high school? I had a decent group of close friends, but I was closest to Hannia. I wish I still had contact with her. ^Are they still your best friends now? No. She deleted me off Facebook at some point. Do you live near the mountains? No; they're on the western end of the state, and I live on the opposite side. Do you live near a beach? It's about two hours away. What is your favorite beach that you’ve been to? I don't have a fave. Do you collect seashells? Nah, but I like picking them up and looking at them. My sisters and I used to collect them, though. We have a plastic container of them somewhere. If you were to start a new collection, what would it be? I desperately want a cornucopia of Markiplier merch, sobs. Is there a certain place or store you especially hate going to? I don't like going to most stores, really. I'm an online shopper. When was the last time you made plans with someone? October of last year. How long do leftovers usually sit in your fridge? Depends on the food. They tend to stay in there a bit too long, though. What is something you do for other people that shows you care for them? Offer to listen to them and always be a source of support and love. What was the last animal/pet that you met? Kinda recently, someone in our neighborhood was walking their German shepherd, and Mom chatted with the lady for a bit while I listened. Is there anyone in your life with whom your opinion changes on frequently? No. Have you ever kept a journal? Do you currently keep one? Yes, on-and-off during multiple periods of my life. These surveys are like my journals now. Is there a certain song or band who remind you of specific people? Yep. Motionless In White and Black Veil Brides, Jason. Pink Floyd and Evanescence, Sara. Metallica, Mom. Van Halen, Dad. Etc., etc. How often do you style your hair differently from how you normally style it? Never. Have you ever found out that you have been sleep walking? No, I never have. What’s the last thing you promised yourself? I don't know about promised. I take those so seriously, even to myself, that I hesitate to make them. Have you ever tried making something from one of those short cooking videos? How did it turn out? No, but my friend once tried making that "muffin in a cup" thing and it was absolutely horrid. Very eggy. When was the last time you had to wait in line for longer than a few minutes? Good question. Going into places is so rare nowadays, so it's hard to encounter this issue. Well wait, maybe at a fast food place? Idr. Have you ever written a review for a product you bought online? No, but I should do that once I actually use my own money to buy from small businesses in particular... if I had something good to say, anyway. I'd feel bad trash-talking a product. Do you ever interact with any brands/companies online? No. Is there anything you seem especially sensitive to, such as sounds, smells, etc? Smells, yes. What was the last thing you had the urge to do? Read, even though I didn't do it. .-. Is there anyone you feel that takes you for granted? No. Do you ever read the comments on social media posts? Sometimes, particularly if I have strong feelings about something. What was the last “good” thing to happen to you? My PHP therapist felt confident enough in my progress to step me down to three sessions a week versus every weekday. Last awkward situation you were in? Thankfully it was a one-on-one session, but the same aforementioned therapist was asking me questions that really stumped me, so I kept going very quiet as I thought and felt awkward and dumb. He's brilliant at his job. Think of the last time you were sick – what were you sick with? I think the last issue I had that qualifies as "sick" was a double ear infection from Hell itself. That was like two years ago. How do you think your life would change without social media? I'd be incredibly bored, but I, among I think most others, would be more positive and have a more realistic outlook on life. Social media highlights the best times in our life, and I do feel that that has had a negative effect on pretty much everyone. I don't at all believe social media is bad in essence, though. It's a wonderful way to stay connected. What was the last thing you wanted to buy, but couldn’t afford? I can't afford a new terrarium for Venus for probably a while, being without a job and all... How do you get your news? Facebook, haha. How often do you drive? Never, right now. My permit is long expired, and my vision isn't up to par to renew it. If you had to go (back) to school and completely change your career path, what would you choose to study/pursue? I guess biology? Are there any TV shows you constantly quote or know almost every line to? No. What do you think about lizards? I adore lizards; they're all so cute, big or small, and truly little dinosaurs. They're beautiful and so vast in appearances and behavior. Is there anything that people assume about you that isn’t true, and that you find very irritating? Not that I find irritating, no. How would you rate your “detective” skills? Uh, what am I "detecting?" I'm pretty good at digging online if I'm really hunting something down, I guess. Have you ever done consumer testing (testing products before they come out on the market)? If not, would you ever want to? No; I wouldn't be opposed, depending on the product. Have you ever received anesthesia or morphine? Both. The one time (I'm aware of) where I had morphine oddly enough did jack-all, though. If you had to choose which video game to be in, which would it be? Hmmm. Maybe like, Shadow of the Colossus, living in the beautiful garden on the top of the shrine? With the deer, the birds, fruit, just its general beauty... That would be awesome, especially with one other person, especially an s/o. Just the two of us in a gorgeous land. Between the two, would you rather live in a place where it’s only night or where it’s only day? Only day, I suppose. Vitamin D is very important, for one thing, and it always being dark would definitely affect my depression. And what about the flowers blooming and being able to take pictures? :( Sleep would still be possible by just closing your shades and stuff. Is there anyone that makes your skin crawl? Maggots, bot flies, parasites, patterns of small holes, etc. Do you like it when people are affectionate with you? Yes. If we're at least friends, anyway. I'm a very affectionate person. Have the past few days been bad, good, or neutral? They've been pretty all right. If you had to be an actor/actress in a movie, what genre of the movie would you be best at? Probably as an insane villain in a superhero movie or something. Are people more likely to tell you to tone it down or to speak up? Speak up. I'm a mumbler. I can be too loud sometimes too, though, particularly when I'm excited. What’s the last thing that you procrastinated? Now. Emerson's birthday was last month and I still haven't touched her pictures... Out of fire, earth, water, wind, light, and dark, which element appeals the most to you? Dark. What’s your favorite color on a vehicle? Burnt orange, pink. The last pain that you experienced, was it physical or emotional? Physical. What was one of your favorite songs as kid? I liked lots of pop songs. When’s the last time you tried to get revenge, if ever? Never. It's not something I chase after. Do you like Taylor Swift? No. What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? The Haunted Mansion, I think. That's a Disney movie, isn't it? If you met your favorite celebrity, would you be calm or star struck? I'd be a deer in headlights, stuttering and stammering over ways to thank him and crying like a bitch. I'd be super embarrassed, but I absolutely hope I get to meet him one day. Do you ever have to do yard work? No. Is your school close to your house? I'm no longer in school. Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? Yes. Did/do you listen to Britney Spears songs? Yeah, I like her. What shorthand do you use the most? Probably "lmao." What album is the current song you’re listening to off of? METAWAR. In your opinion, what song is the most overplayed right now? I wouldn't know; I don't listen to the radio. Are you in a band? No. When I started high school though, I wished I could be a guitarist in one. That's one reason I started taking lessons, haha. Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? Male. Have you ever been to a Broadway show? No. Do you prefer group or individual work? Individual, by a long shot. I work much better alone. Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? I think I have before. I used to love puzzles. When was the last time you rode in a limo? Damn son, never; what could possibly give you the idea I could afford to ever do THAT????? Do you take naps daily? Almost every day, yes. Do you still make Christmas lists? Yeah, because I'm asked to. Do you watch the show Dexter? Never seen it, no. Are you currently using a blanket? Yes. My feet are cold. How long is the song you’re listening to? 4:06. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom, but only by a year. Did you ever listen to Avril Lavigne when you were younger? Who didn't? I still listen to a couple songs. When was the last time you changed a light bulb? Not all that long ago when Venus' lamp bulb died. How often do you clean your car out? I don't have my own car. Did you ever buy NOW ("Now That’s What I Call Music") CDs? My older sister did, yes. What color (mainly) is your computer? It's black. What is in the back seat of your car right now? In Mom's car, idk. But there's usually some stuff back there. What is your favorite episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.? Never watched it. Last person’s house you were in? Besides my own, my older sister's. Who is the last person you sent a message to on Facebook? My friend Chelsea. We were catching up. Were you an honor roll student in school? Yes. Do you have a tan? HA. Are you someone’s best friend? Yes. <3 What do you think of when you think of Australia? Huntsmen spiders. *shudders* Favorite gemstone? Of the basic ones, rubies. If we're talking of all of them, even the obscure, then dragon's breath opal. I'd LOVE to have a ring of one of those. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Almost always the drive-thru. What color is your mom’s hair? It's all gray now. Does your first memory involve your dad? No. Biggest annoyance in your life right this minute? My social anxiety. Do you like watching a bonfire? Yeah. Fire is mesmerizing. Do you ever get flu shots? No, but I really should. Once the Covid vaccine is accessible to all though, I'm getting it for the protection of my immunocompromised mother.

[hashire]

hello! I think almost... two years ago now, I sent you another msg on anon here bc I wanted to compliment your works... especially your "a moment's surrender" fic, god I was so happy when you updated and idr if I told you but it was PERFECT ;_; anyway all this to say that I recently got back enjoying snk, you're one of the few active blogs I am still following on here and this morning I opened tumblr just to find out you had posted a new story ;;;; idk I was so glad to find you on my dash!!

So, I've been having a bad day between family stuff and job stuff and this ask almost made me cry 🥺. Mostly smile though.

I feel bad about a moment's surrender. Chapter 123 threw me for a loop for multiple reasons, and it definitely affected ams. I believe I tried to write the third part but wasn't in the right state of mind, and then I just never got back to it. I'm so glad you thought it was perfect. ❤❤❤

Anyway, you're the sweetest, anon. It makes me so happy to know that people are actually still into my writing. I've been feeling low and unsure about everything in my life and yddkslakj idk your words are exactly what I needed tonight. OK I'm gonna actually cry.

Sorry for rambling. Love you.

[flamebabeee]

Its A Tag Meme

I was tagged by the young and beautiful @cssie-christmas

Rules:

Answer 30 questions and tag 10 blogs you are contractually obligated to know

Nicknames: Sarah is my name but like.....I feel bad because I don't really think I have any nicknames...except Nikki but I gave myself that nickname...does that count? I feel like such a lonely loser lol

Gender/pronouns: She/Her (though they/them is alright too!!)

Star sign: Taurus

Height: 5′4(sh)

Time: 11:42 pm EST

Birthday: May 12

Favorite bands: Oh jeez there are so many? Umm Three Days Grace, Hollywood Undead, Theory of a Deadman, Adelitas Way, Halestorm, Thousand Foot Krutch, Fall Out Boy, Maroon 5 and probably more idr rn. I’m bad at names tbph

Favorite solo artist: I have a lot of favorite solo artists here too but like my favorite above all is Demi Lovato. Her music has gotten me through some tough times and made some happiness in the dark times.

Song stuck in your head: Crying In The Club by Camila Cabello

Last movie you watched?: Flatliners

Last show?: I was rewatching The Vampire Diaries. Almost done it again.

Why did you create your blog?: Initially just to have some place to vent my frustrations and anger but then it kind of just became a mess.

What do you post?: My thoughts, desires, inspirations and overall personality. Some random stuff and things I want to remember too.

The last thing you googled?: dirty truth or dare questions-don’t ask xD

Other blogs: I’m Admin Seraphina on @arcana-scenarios and rp on @seraphina-sparks. But I’m working on two more rp blogs for some new apprentices I’ve developed. 0o0

AO3: I didn’t even know what this was xD I had to ask Christmas lol. I think it’s safe to say I don’t have one.

Do you get asks?: Very rarely. It’s kind of sad, now that I think about it, but it is what it is.

How did you get the idea for your URL?: Well Nikki I came up with from my first middle name which is Nicole (I say first bc I technically have two) and I added flame in there because I have a fascination or captivation with fire. But I thought flame sounded more ominous and overall badass XD

I follow: basically everything and everyone. As long as I like them and they’re blog is sfw.

Followers: A small number of them. But I’m ok with that and am friends with a few of them.

Average hours of sleep: uhhhhhhhhhhhh...idk. 5 hours maybe?

Lucky number: I don’t even know. Two years ago it was 13, last year it was 12. Idk.

Instruments: I’m always down for bucket drumming but I’m not actually that good, if any good, at playing instruments. I’ve played the recorder, trombone, flute, guitar, but I was thinking of learning how to play the drums since I’m good at bucket drumming.

What are you wearing?: Uh, a shirt with my first middle school’s logo on it some black and white patterned leggings, and this v-neck undershirt.

Dream job: Probably a detective. Unfortunately, I lack the physical demand that the job requires but I’m hoping to change that.

Dream trip: The great beyond.

Favorite food: Um either monkey bread or buttermilk pancakes.

Significant other?: Uhhhh I’m kind of seeing someone? #complicated

Last book I read: The Glass Sword in Aveyard’s Red Queen Series.

Top 3 fictional universes: The Arcana (I mean who doesn’t come on?), The World of Game of Thrones, and the universe of which I am a boy.

Tagging: anyone really uhhhhh how about @tirnelruin , @samael-bellamorte

[jjks]

do u know where i can buy specific member pcs from the "her" album?

i’d say check out ebay but i’m not sure how authentic they’d be... or search around on twt!

hi sorry random but i was wondering what dimensions u make ur icons when u make them? im trying to make my own and they always get resized weirdly :S

hi! i usually make them 180x180 :’)

TAE IS JK'S BABY BOY AND VICE VERSA TBH!! THAT WEIBO PIC STILL GOT ME IN TEARS...

SDKFNDK I AM STILL NOT OVER THAT PHOTO OHHHH MY G OD THANK YOU DEITIES FOR THE TK IN THIS ERA

are there things we arent allowed to send to BTS? like what can we actually send them? and how lmao thank you!!

i think perishable food and anything deemed as inappropriate shouldn’t be sent to them lol they made a post about it on the fancafe a few years ago but i can’t find it anymore :/ here’s the new address tho: https://twitter.com/bangtanitl/status/867941031488102402?lang=en

wow jeon jungkook really out here existing. being the cutest baby boy to ever baby boy. he's just. wow. wow.

most precious baby bun

hi kim! just wanted to ask but when you and linh went to sk you guys mentioned in your video that you did all the touristy places in one day--which sites did you guys go to? and did you really manage them all in one day? also did you just take the train/bus to get to each one? sorry i hope you don't mind answering these questions...

hi!! i feel like linh and i mentioned the places in the video too shjsdaf but it’s been so long idr what we said HAHA but the one day where we went to the touristy places included going to jongno-gu and walking around towards bukchon hanok village, gyeongbokgung palace which lead us to gwanghwamun square where the king sejong statue is! then we walked towards insadong lmao... we walked a lot that day but to get around we just used the subway system! hope that helps :’)

hi kim! sorry about this but could you please link your fic rec list? I can't seem to find it :( sorry and thank you!!!

aaah sorry for the late reply! ;; here you go: http://jjks.tumblr.com/ficrec