#i made it for me website which i will publicly post about soon i think (has postponed the site release for months)

[deoraii]

Contact: Flamenco de la Pasion !  

[ottiliere]

hello! ur posts on the vagus nerve and its connections to digestions have encouraged me to do a lil mini dissertation thingy kinda focused on it/around it, ur big thread on PVT and everything really piqued my interest when i read it and i just held onto it for like a year or smthing until like last week when i started the project. Ik u said recently in one of ur posts i believe that ur not going to post the big dirk PVT post and im not here to be like yo post it because i also think u said that ur kinda moving away from like hs/dirky stuff rn ?? (im forgetting if i saw that sorry) but yeah i just wanted to say thank u etc etc, like ive never done an ask before so sorry if this is phrased weirdly but ur blog is just like one of those blogs that fundamentally changed how i view certain things in life for the better lol, like whether its ur beautiful representations / depictions of mental health in like just beautifully painted art (seriously the way u make it look like idk how to word it cartoony/really 2d but then it stands out against the background + if u zoom in and see the tiny pixel details == it makes me mad) or just like the huggeee long form posts that i like to chew on and save cuz theres so many details that AFFAAT like the way you talk abt the topics u portray has made me concious of how i would want to do so in the same way ig u get me. anyway this got really long and idk if i come across coherently, but ur just a random person on the internet whos art and written thoughts that u decide to share makes me happy when i see it == makes me pace around my room and distract me from this fat essay lmao so tldr: i really appreciate what u do + i hope like that ur doing well and that u keep arting and thoughting no matter what it is that u choose to focus on

(uve made me comitted to reading jthm, playing psychonauts and giving jjba w/ dio another go lmao) 🫶🫶

Hello! I’m sorry this reply is coming so late, this ask in particular is very sweet and has stuck out to me.

I’m really happy to have introduced you to PVT, this is something I’ve heard from a few different people on here and it’s very sweet… I did my thesis on it in college and the time really flew by while working on it, things you don't think could possibly attributed to "nerve issues" being nerve issues is always an eye-opener, isn't it? being able to research things that interest you & access information in general really is a privilege in this day and age.

“The topics [I] portray” are very important to me, so it’s heartening when others take interest in spite of the obvious deterrents. A lot of what I love making art about is unpalatable to most, and while I do understand the reasons for that on principle, it can make things feel a little insular. I genuinely believe there’s a lot of value in depicting tableaus of misery.

The last year has brought a lot of very unforeseen changes, and my life is quite different from when I initially made this blog to post about him! That’s also part of why I’ve been so sparse here…though I’m working to change that quite soon. I love sharing my work, and I’ve had the privilege of meeting some truly wonderful people through this website. That said…with where I’m at now, I’m not sure I’ll be posting the Dirk essay anytime soon, I’m afraid.

I’ve undertaken a few ongoing projects, one of which in particular is an original project I plan on sharing publicly here hopefully within the next month or so. I hope it’s something you & anyone else who’s stuck around with me here will enjoy, but failing that, I’ve really enjoyed working on it thus far.

Thank you for the sweet ask, take care, and good luck with your project!

[pandorasword]

for the random dialogue prompt, can i get 2 + 24 for chaejoong please?

Chaeri as the 8th and youngest member of BTS.

CHAERI'S MASTERLIST

Hi! Thank you so much for your request on the prompts game! let me know if you enjoyed it 🫶🏼

When night comes

❒ genre: Hurt/Comfort

❒ words: 1.9k+

❒ summary: In which Chaeri stays overnight at Hongjoong's for the first time

❒ pairing: Hongjoong x BTS8thmember!OC

❒ prompts requested: 2. "I've been thinking about you a lot lately" | 24. "I didn't want you to see me like this"

❒ warnings: Oc experiencing paranoia; nightmares; Slightly sexually suggestive

July/August 2022

The relationship between them had started off slow and gradually increased, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. What had begun as an impulsive act to upset Chaeri's group members, as well as rebel against the entertainment industry's flawed system, had developed into something more.

Chaeri hadn't anticipated being this drawn to Hongjoong; she hadn't expected to feel this way with anyone anymore. But it happened, and she was taken by surprise.

The day they had decided to take the plunge into a real relationship, the following weeks were full of excitement. Every time their lips touched it was like electricity running through both of them, washing away any remnants of the false connection they somehow created for the cameras. The kisses were passionate and lingering now, with no fear or doubt that this was real.

The one thing she refused to admit was that she was scared to spend the whole night with him at his dorms. It wasn't the thought of getting too intimate, seeing as it's natural for lovers to reach that level eventually. Rather, what terrified her was not knowing if her sudden episodes of paranoia would terrify him.

They had grown less frequent as she'd aged. It had been two years since her last episode of half-waking from sleep in a panic, convinced something was coming to hurt her. She had taken the advice of Namjoon and Suga, and sought out psychologists to help her work through the trauma that triggered those episodes—but never found success with any of them. Over time, however, she figured out how to lessen the chances of it happening. Perhaps she simply had to reassure herself that if she agreed to stay overnight with him after their date, the chances of it happening were almost 0.

The paparazzi had some kind of intuition when it came to her and Hongjoong's dates, as they would be outside waiting for her at the exact moment she left her car escorted by her security guards. She could hear cameras clicking from far away, trying to capture any details of their outing that they could find. But this did not bother her; she refused to let other people's opinions stop her from enjoying a date with her boyfriend. Instead, she decided to take matters into her own hands. As soon as newspaper websites with pictures of them together on dates were released, she searched through them until finding the one where she looked most beautiful, and then posted it on her instagram page—as if saying: no matter what anyone said about them, there was nothing stopping them from publicly being together.

The long boots helped frame her beauty, and as soon as she stepped within reach, Hongjoon wasted no time in putting his hand on the exposed skin between her shorts and knees. She embraced him tightly, nestling her 

arms around his neck to say hello with a passionate kiss

Not having seen each other in two weeks, their text messages made it clear that they had a strong yearning for one another, and had discovered desires that neither of them knew they had yet towards each other.

"I've been thinking about you a lot lately" Hongjoong pulled away from her lips just enough to speak to her, keeping his fingertips gently touching the softness of her skin as he spoke to her. 

Her vocal cords vibrated to a barely audible laugh "Respectfully or disrespectfully?" 

"I respectfully thought of you in a disrespectful way" 

Chaeri couldn't help but grin at his reply. She found it amusing how he could make her laugh, even in the most intimate moments. She kissed him again, this time with a hint of mischief in her eyes.

"Well, lucky for you, I have been thinking about some pretty disrespectful things too"

Perched on Hongjoong's bed, palms pressing into the mattress behind her, Chaeri held one leg over the other as he leaned forward to help her remove her boots. She had a crooked smile and one eyebrow raised, looking between amused and aroused when she spoke "You know," wetting her lips with her tongue, "I have a thing for men who kneel." 

Hongjoong smirked, meeting her gaze as he pulled off her boots after dropping to his knees in front of her. "Well, lucky for you, I have a thing for making my girlfriend happy" When he said the word 'girlfriend', it came out of his mouth with such tenderness, even though they were far from sweet at that moment. One would have thought that he had just uttered the most admirable thing in existence.

He also took the other boot off her foot, thus leaving her bare legs free.

She lifted one leg and rested it on his shoulder, as he leaned forward and placed soft kisses on her ankle, making her shiver with pleasure. His hands slowly caressed her legs, moving upwards until they reached the hem of her shorts, where he hooked his fingers.

His eyes stayed trained on her.

If she had shown even a shadow of hesitation, he would have left the room, creating the space that they both needed. Yet Chaeri held his gaze, giving him her approval.

The nights of Seoul during the summer were often unbearably hot and muggy, making it necessary to keep air conditioners running in order to stay cool. Yet, that night, Chaeri found a pleasant relief by the warmth of Hongjoong's presence by her side.

His bed was cramped and they fit perfectly side by side. It wasn't a bad thing; if anything, it made her feel better.

After a long day of work and the events of the night, she was utterly worn out. Sleep came easily to her. 

But her dreams began to be far from peaceful as soon as the warmth against her back faded away. Chaeri tossed and turned, plagued by nightmares that she couldn't seem to shake off. She sat up in bed in a cold sweat, breathing heavily, and on the verge of tears. 

The remnants of sleep still lingered in her mind, obscuring her vision with a hazy curtain as she attempted to separate dreams from reality. The two worlds blended together, overlapping until they were indistinguishable from one another.  

She tried to reach the rational thoughts in the back of her mind, but they kept slipping away as her eyes scanned the room in a paranoid, watchful way, as if at any moment a looming incubus might pop out of any corner.

She was alone in the room.

Chaeri's heart raced as she tried to calm herself down. She knew she was being irrational, but she couldn't help feeling like something was watching her. She clutched the sheets tightly, her eyes scanning the room for any signs of danger.

Then, she heard a sound coming from the living room. It was a soft rustling noise, like someone was moving around. She froze, her heart pounding in her chest. Had someone broken into the dorm?

An inner voice screamed that yes, she was not paranoid, that someone had definitely managed to get into the dormitory, that she wouldn't have enough time to make an escape before they reached her. 

In that moment of panic and fear, Chaeri could feel her thoughts spiraling out of control. Her mind conjured up images of violent intruders who wanted nothing more than to hurt her. 

Slowly, she pushed herself out of bed, her bare feet touching the cool wooden floor. She crept to the door, her ears straining for any sound. 

As she reached for the doorknob, her hand shook with fear. She didn't know what was waiting for her on the other side. Logic told her that it was probably Hongjoong, that she was just being paranoid, but fear had a way of distorting reality. 

Her fingers finally closed around the doorknob, and she turned it slowly, her heart pounding in her chest. The door creaked open, revealing the darkened living room. She squinted in the dim light, trying to make out any shapes in the darkness.

Suddenly, a hand reached out and grabbed her wrist, making her gasp in fright. She immediately released herself from the grip 

"Chaeri, it's me," Hongjoong's voice said "What's wrong? Why are you up?"

Her lips set to say something else, but what came out was "I think someone broke into the house" 

Hongjoong's face went pale, and he pulled her into the living room as he shut the door behind them. "Is anyone else in here?" Chaeri shook her head, blinking a few times to wake herself up. "No. Out of the room" she replied, avoiding his gaze. She was obviously scared, like he had never seen her before.

"There's--there's no one there, Chaeri. I've just been through the house with Seonghwa. Everything is closed. Maybe you heard us and thought it was someone else"

She was almost unresponsive and stopped looking at him and once again, lost in her thoughts. Her eyes wandering the room, looking for the person she thought she heard breaking into the house or perhaps a way out that was not predictable

Hongjoong gently cupped her cheeks, forcing her to look at him "Chaeri...are you ok? are you awake?"

Chaeri's eyes finally locked onto him and tears streamed down her face "I-I don't know Hongjoong," she sobbed "Did I scare you?" She didn't wait for his answer, her voice trembling as she continued speaking, shaken by sobs "I'm sorry," she whispered "I just...I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm usually not like this. I swear. I'm not like this" she choked with emotion

Hongjoong pulled Chaeri into a tight embrace, holding her close as she cried against his chest. He knew that this was unlike her, and he wanted to know what had led her to be so vulnerable "It's okay, baby. You didn't scare me," he said softly, his hand gently rubbing her back. "I'm here for you. I won't let anything happen to you"

Chaeri clung to Hongjoong, her body shaking with sobs. She felt embarrassed and ashamed for her outburst, but she couldn't help the fear that had consumed her. 

He held her until her sobs subsided, his arms creating a safe haven for her. He was patient and spoke in a way that was calming, his words slowly bringing her from the anxious thoughts running through her head.

After a while, Chaeri pulled away, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. She looked up at Hongjoong, her eyes still filled with fear. "I didn't want you to see me like this"

Hongjoong shook his head, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "It's okay, Chaeri. I'm here for you, no matter what" He paused for a moment before continuing, "But maybe we should talk about what's been bothering you"

At long last, Hongjoong had managed to soothe her back to sleep. After two hours of tears, excuses, apologies, and difficult heart-breaking conversations, he was finally able to lie down beside the woman he cherished. Her breathing had evened out, indicating that she had been granted reprieve from her nightmares - at least for now.

He wasn't sure how to handle this situation, but he was determined to do everything in his power to rid her of those dark dreams that infested her.

taglist: @alixnsuperstxr | @bts-dream | @ycuvi

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

People are forgetting something important. Everyone has a right to write what they want, and/or state an opinion on their own blog. The nuance is that there is a way to do it. There is a difference in these next 2 sayings:

« I don’t like to drive. It just doesn’t make me feel good and I don’t see the point of it. »

vs

« I don’t like to drive, can we all just fucking stop driving? As if that even made you cool! Since when is driving something that gave you importance? Are we even living in the same world?? »

In both these statements, an opinion is stated. In the second example however, the tone is condescending, almost belittling. That is all the difference. That is why people reacted the way they did. The opinion was never wrong. The way it was stated was. As if people who did not share your opinion, were less intelligent. That is why they are upset. Not because you don't like one fanfic trope.

I am not writing this to stir drama even more. I geniunely like you and your blog, I am just trying to explain what I feel is the reason for the drama around your reblog. Maybe you can understand where others are coming from and why they got upset and hurt from your reblog.

Hello. Thank you for the message, and thank you for keeping it civil. I appreciate that!

I had considered waiting until I returned from my hiatus to respond to this, but there are a few things that have immediate relevance that I feel are worth pointing out.

When responding colloquially to a post, as I had in that instance, I tend to type how I talk - it can come across as a bit abrasive, but my intent was never to upset anyone. I was just venting, not suggesting anyone stop doing what they are doing. More of a “this really boils my piss” rather than “don’t ever do this or I will tar and feather you”.

My mistake was in replying to a user that had reblogged my response - I wanted to clarify my intent, but hadn’t realised that this was a person who has previously been involved in spreading hate about me on this website.

Their responses to me grew increasingly hostile, and as soon as I realised who they were I blocked them. But it was too late.

You see, it doesn’t matter what I say, this person and the people they associate with will find any excuse to drag me. I could say the sky is a lovely blue colour today, and their response would be “oh my fucking god, she has a problem with all other colours!” When you’re determined to hate someone then nothing will stop you. That post was effectively a red rag to a bull.

I don’t really mind that they are publicly being nasty about me - I am an advocate for freedom of expression and it is their right to call me a cunt, etc. I may not like what they have to say, but I will defend with my life their right to say it.

What I do have a problem with is them suggesting I am xenophobic/racist. That is defamation of character, that is libel, and you can land yourself in serious legal trouble with that sort of chat.

To clear things up, this stems from my scepticism over the initial announcement of Ewan attending CCXP. I refused to believe it was true until it was officially confirmed, which I think is a rational mindset to have, but apparently that equates to me hating Brazilians?! Let’s be clear, I’d have reacted the same way to Ewan being announced for a con anywhere in the world, because he has previously refused to do them.

Sorry this ended up being much longer than I anticipated! And to clarify, this is not an invitation for people to send hate to the people I’m talking about, so please don’t.

[rabbitindisguise]

Yeah I dunno why people who can pay purposefully won't on principle. I bought a couple more badges out of spite because fuck that noise

On the other hand: for people who are poor and can't afford supporting Tumblr . . . I totally get it, I've been there (and was there most of my life up until recently). But there is something completely free that I think would be a huge help that takes less than a minute to do though.

If everyone who can't afford to pay just posted one compliment- just one- towards Tumblr publicly, and don't say a single insult towards it for six months, I think that would radically change the culture around supporting Tumblr

The current biggest problem imo is how shitty people are towards the concept of subscribing or buying badges. If people secretly wanted them and asked for them as gifts and paraded them around? Then I would say our job as a user base was done and we did all that we could with our meager funds and it just wasn't enough. But we don't do that.

Because a lot of people don't actually openly admit they value the time they put into this website, or the fact that Tumblr was the place where we made lots of friends and cried about our blorbos

We can gush about mutuals and how much we appreciate the followers that always like our posts . . . but saying one good thing about Tumblr itself? From the people who use it the most? It's so rare. I basically only see compliments about Tumblr from people with checkmarks. There's so little whimsy about Tumblr, so little recognition of the qualities that drew fandom as a whole to it in the first place. Would it be so bad to celebrate it one last time? Just to see what would happen.

One compliment. It could mean an actual real difference. We could tag it something and make a campaign out of it for old time's sake, like fandom used to do all the time to drum up support and publicity for shows and like how people fundraise for ao3

I'll start: Tumblr helped me figure out I was queer by putting me in contact with other queer people. Today I'm on hrt because of it and happier than I've ever been. I've blogged through just about every crisis and never felt alone even if I couldn't talk about things irl. It's a beautiful place on the internet that I treasure pretty dearly and I'll treasure it long after it's gone, which he hopefully won't be too soon.

I don't know if you've seen the latest iteration of "tumblr is dying" but if you haven't, Automattic (owners of tumblr) have decided they will put the site into maintenance mode. This doesn't mean that tumblr will disappear, it just means that they'll keep the lights on and that's about it. They're taking the staff who have been working hard to try to make the site a success, and they're relocating those folks to other projects. A skeleton crew will remain on tumblr, keeping the site alive.

If we want tumblr to thrive, however, then we need to do something to support it - and that something is financial.

If you're someone who enjoys your time on tumblr and you're someone who has an entertainment budget, then consider visiting the TumblrMart and buying yourself a badge. Go ad-free. Choose the new option that I just discovered which is "Support tumblr" - that's the shiny t badge I now have that will change colour over time for the longer I subscribe.

This doesn't require every single user to pay for tumblr. Far from it. Just look at AO3 as the example. Time after time, they hit their fundraising goals and beyond, and I don't think they've ever had more than 10K individual donors for a userbase of something like 5 million.

I've been on this site for a decade. It's the only social media I actually like. I think the internet would be worse off if tumblr wasn't around. I'm going to pay what I can to keep this community around, and I'm going to encourage others to do the same.

If that's something you don't want to see, then feel free to block the tag subsidize tumblr that I'll use on posts like that. If you're open to the idea, then expect the occasional post from me on the subject.

Fandom has lost enough homes in my lifetime. If I can do anything to keep this one around, I will.

[losthomunculus]

Online Safety Relevant to the Current State of the Internet

On twitter I made a tweet about how online safety lessons in school can be very out of touch but that the advice of people who are familiar with the current internet shouldn't be disregarded. So here's my informal collection of online safety tips

Sources: unrestricted internet access since elementary school (not recommended), being a formerly involuntarily home bound person for several years that amassed way too much online experience

This could possibly hold upsetting reminders to people who had bad experiences online including mentions of grooming and emotional manipulation so please proceed with caution!

Information Sharing

Make an online pseudonym for public profiles and websites.

Don’t feel like you have to list everything about you for the world to see.

Sometimes it’s not a question of “can this information be used to locate and identify me irl?”, but simply “do I want this information publicly available and linked to my online persona?”

Unlike offline, being online leaves a constant trail of who you were accessible at all times. People are constantly growing and changing. Try to limit the information you share so you can ditch that trail and start over if need be.

Sharing information with people you make friends with and trust is a judgement call on your part, but always be on the safe side and be protective of your information.

Start as cautious as possible with online safety. Any risks or judgement calls can come later when you are 1. aware of the risks, 2. ready to address them if they occur, and 3. have gathered plenty of information instead of doing something blindly and hoping for the best.

Do not share your triggers publicly, they can very easily be used against you. Instead use websites with a large amount of filtering options to curate your online experience. If you are going to share them, only do it privately with people you trust.

Importance of Boundaries

It doesn’t matter how mature you are, don’t enter age limited spaces you don’t qualify for. It’s disrespectful to the boundaries of the people who made that space. Boundaries like this exist for the comfort of both sides involved.

Just because you can “handle it” doesn’t mean it’s good for you. Desensitization is not something to brag about.

Venting or making r18 posts as a minor on a public account is VERY dangerous. Intense emotional vulnerability is something manipulators will look for as a way to get to you. The same with sexual jokes to develop your comfort talking about those topics casually and eventually escalating the situation. If you are going to talk about such things please keep that in private conversations with people you trust in your age group.

Note the difference between public and private online space. Tweeting something on a public account is not the same as having a conversation in the cafeteria with your friends.

If an adult tries talking to you about r18, run the other way. Doesn’t matter how cool you are, it says something weird about THEM if they’re willing to talk to a minor about that stuff.

If someone( like 3+ years, honestly depends on how old you are) older than you wouldn't be comfortable saying what they're saying to you in front of other people (like a teacher or guardian), that's suspicious as hell. Run in the other direction.

The younger you are, the more age gaps matter. There's a bigger difference in development between a 13 year old and a 17 year old than there is between a 20 year old and a 24 year old. It helps to try to contextualize it with real people instead of numbers. Instead of thinking "oh just 4 years? that's not that weird" consider "oh. that would be like a freshman (13/14) dating a senior (17/18). yikes."

Be just as wary of people your own age talking about things that make you uncomfortable. Just like irl, sometimes you’ll meet people your age that are hurtful.

Friends complain to each other and talk about their issues, that alone is fine. But when people are doing it without permission, draw a line. When people are making it feel like you’re responsible for maintaining their mental health, you need to draw a line. When it starts to effect your mental health, PLEASE DRAW A LINE! I know it feels like your responsibility sometimes, but it’s not. You cannot be there for others if you’re not taking care of yourself first and foremost.

Don’t be afraid to block people. Even for petty reasons. It’s good to block people. Don’t force yourself to see stuff you don’t want to see.

Being Constantly Online

The 24 hour news cycle is not a good thing to follow 24/7. Taking social responsibility is a good thing, but your brain is NOT built to worry about every issue in the world at once. One strategy I use for staying sane is I try to only check the news once a day, and if something needs more attention to set aside an amount of time I’m going to focus on it before I need to take time to step back.

Touch grass. Not literally, unless you can in which case I highly suggest it, sometimes it’s just good to lay in a field. What I mean is you need to dedicate a good portion of your time to being offline (sleep does not count). What your offline time looks like is going to differ depending on your level of ability, but even if you are house bound it’s important to build some hobbies that don’t rely on the internet. Talking to people offline is also a good goal if possible, even just to your housemates.

Social etiquette greatly differs online and offline and sometimes the reminder that were all just Some People gets lost behind the numbers and the fabricated personas. Keep in mind the difference in how information is shared without forgetting that the fact we are all people remains the same.

Be generous with your etiquette. You will avoid a lot of stress if you conduct yourself with the same politeness you would have in an offline interaction. Master the art of "minding your own business" for your own sake.

Arguments and Competition

As soon as you can, you need to internalize the fact that leaving an argument is not losing.

It is inevitable you will be exposed to many people who disagree with you. Some people only want to argue to rile you up. Sometimes that’s not their intention, but it’s what they’re doing. You do not have to remain in conversation with people, especially if they’re not interested in actually coming to an understanding. Even if they are interested, sometimes they just suck!! Leave!! You can leave!!

On that note, sometimes you are going to get valid criticism and it’s going to hurt. That is part of learning. If someone says you messed up and did something hurtful, take a second to step back from your defensiveness and consider: intent ≠ effect. Apologize, repair what you can, and move forward with the ability to do better in the future. You’re going to mess up every once in awhile, it’s inevitable.

To summarize the past two points: don't waste your time on unnecessary hostility but don't close yourself into an echo chamber either. Debates should be about learning.

Sometimes people are not going to like you. This happens offline too but people tend to be a lot more blunt online. Sometimes people dislike you for no reason or for really petty reasons. That’s not your problem, move on.

Don’t actively seek out people you don’t like or who don’t like you to argue with. Whether or not your side is the “right side” doesn’t matter, it’s going to cause you so much unnecessary stress. Feel free to keep posting your opinions on your own profile but don’t seek out unnecessary conflict.

This is a different type of competition than previously mentioned, but be aware of the danger of comparing yourself to other people. Especially if you’re a creative or student, DO NOT GET SWEPT UP IN THE GRIND CULTURE. It’s more subtle in some places than others, but anytime you see the notion that you should be working yourself to the bone be VERY critical. Also be critical of any online cultures (such as gaming and art communities) that brag about unhealthy habits or act like it’s ~part of the culture~ (ex: all nighters, not taking breaks, getting hurt. Any activity that neglects health to work toward a goal).

Not just grind culture, any community of subculture that shares anti recovery sentiments is a huge red flag. Even if they're joking, it's not worth the risk of internalizing those statements.

Everyone’s social media presence is to some degree doctored because it’s a purposefully selected collection of what they allow you to see. It’s fine to like the persona you see being displayed, but never forget that it is not reflective of the entire person. Everyone online is JUST SOME PERSON. Do not forget that and start holding yourself to a standard you can’t even see every side of.

By posting online you are opening yourself to criticism. Whether or not it’s justified can vary, but either way it’s going to happen. Mute stuff, go private, disable comments, etc if you need to.

Misc Tidbits

these are technically just general info that is also good for offline but I have seen things that make me think people online need the extra reminder.

Learn what cults are, how they recruit, and what they do to their members. I'm not kidding. This is particularly relevant at the moment because of current societal unrest and widespread loneliness. No one is immune to cult propaganda, and not every cult is based on pre established religion or family. Many exist ONLINE and are able to manipulate people without ever meeting face to face. (learn more: Loneliness as a Pandemic: The Dangers of Online Cult

Familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience. Please familiarize yourself with the concept of pseudoscience and then learn how to identify pseudoscience. (learn more: Karl Popper, Science, & Pseudoscience: Crash Course Philosophy #8)

Q. How do I know if a source is reliable?

Final Thoughts

It's important people of ALL ages learn these lessons, because the internet is constantly changing and we are all vulnerable when in the presence of other people.

Be cautious and stay safe

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

Online shipping, the fetishisation of gay men, and the romanticisation of queer trauma

An essay by me!

Word count: 2.8k

A link to the Google Doc version of this essay.

A big thank you to my friends Nathan @themeerkatnate, Mav @not-mavv , and Duke @dukedark-ness for reading this essay and giving me their thoughts as mlms on the topic. Make sure to check out their blogs and give them a follow!

So I was on a lovely website by the name of Twitter.com yesterday, just scrolling through while having my afternoon cup of coffee, when I saw that viral post of a girl reading a Larry fanfic through a classroom projector. I'm sure most of you have seen it. It's gone viral on Instagram, TikTok, and likely Tumblr too, and if you haven't come across it I'm positive you will soon.

Now, after getting through my initial reaction to that post which was, holy fuck, that's so embarrassing, I had a second reaction of... wait, this ship is still around?

And after I had some thoughts on the incredible permanence of some online ships and the weird obsolescence of others, I did get to thinking of how lots of these popular ships seem to stem from the same types of perceived relationship dynamics and homophobic stereotypes.

These online fandoms often seem to have an obsession with objects of queer trauma, such as having to hide a relationship, lying about sexuality for self-preservation, and even social rejection. So, after some opinions from my followers and the great archive that is the internet, I've decided to discuss some of the most popular examples of online shipping and the particular nuances they came with.

NOTE: Out of respect for all these people, I won't be sharing viral images or videos of them in perceived romantic proximity (or even kissing, as is applicable for some examples), but I will be describing certain moments I deem to be relevant. So even if you're unfamiliar with them, you won't be confused as to what I'm talking about.

NOTE 2: Although not all people within these fandoms were/are toxic, this essay is focused on the overall toxicity of the fandoms, and how they are toxic more so as a "hive" than as a group of individuals. When I refer to a fandom I don't mean every person involved in the fandom, but rather the collective impact of the group.

 1. Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson 

This is arguably the most popular example of online shipping. The absolute permanence of this ship, and how its fandom never seems to fully die off even beyond the lifespan of One Direction as it once stood, is downright impressive.  

I'm going to be the first to admit I was never in the loop with this fandom. My childhood best friend was actually a massive Larry shipper and asked me to beta read one of her fics, but that was before I even knew who tf Harry and Louis were! Not because I avoided the fandom or even because I rejected the online shipping, but just by coincidence, I delved into the world of pop punk music right when One Direction began gaining its popularity. I bought my first ever album, Riot by Paramore, in 2011- only a year after One Direction made their X-Factor debut. So, this fandom just bypassed me by a sort of weird coincidence.

But I don't need to be in the loop with this fandom to know the astronomical obsession with these two men, no, these two BOYS, was extremely toxic. In 2010, when One Direction made their debut, Harry Styles was only 16 years old. And Louis Tomlinson wasn't much older at 19! This made the two of them incredibly young when this unprecedented wave of shipping hit the internet, and although that must be traumatising for anyone, I cannot even fathom how overwhelming it must've been for two boys that young.  

I'm 18, almost 19 now, and I cannot begin to imagine how scary it was for the two of them to have their every interaction nitpicked within an inch of its life by thousands upon thousands of people online. I do not know this myself, but from numerous recounts by some of my followers, this massively impacted Harry's and Louis' nondescript relationship in real life, seemingly driving the two previously close friends apart. 

Now, before we move on, there's something we need to talk about. And that is the obsession with the dominance/submission dynamic within the world of gay shipping. 

With almost every popular mlm (an acronym meaning man-loving-man) ship based on real people, it seems that fandoms have a particular fascination with power imbalances in these relationships. You don't even need to look at the insane amount of fanfictions based on BDSM to figure this out. In almost all of the examples I'll be citing today, there is an age gap within the perceived relationship and a person the fandom has seemingly decided to be the top/dominant figure. 

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are 3 years apart in age. Although it isn't all that relevant now, an age gap of 3 years when you're in your late teens is a lot more significant. In 2012, for example, when this shipping really started gaining traction, Harry Styles was 18 and Louis Tomlinson was 21. That power imbalance, albeit not that significant, is enough for a fandom to latch on to. We'll see this a lot more in the coming example with Dan and Phil.

 2. Dan Howell and Phil Lester

It's impossible to have a discussion about internet shipping without talking about Dan and Phil.

 Dan Howell and Phil Lester, although being popular YouTubers individually, are arguably one of the internet's most iconic duos. The two creators published their first videos together in 2009, and while their relationship was already a motive of speculation back then, the peak of the "Phan" shipping definitely came in the 2013-2016 era of Tumblr.

Now, I'm going to admit… I was actually on Tumblr when that happened. 

The 2013-2016 period perfectly aligns with my middle school days (I started middle school in 2013 and high school in 2016), and I was not only on Tumblr back then, but I was on Wattpad too! Again, this wasn't a fandom I had much contact with as I had a huge anime phase in middle school and I was on Tumblr posting mainly photography and Soul Eater content more than anything. 

But I did watch some of Dan and Phil's videos! And the occasional "Phan" content did not completely evade me as one of my closest friends in middle school had a fanchat for them. I wasn't involved in the fandom myself but they were actually one of the few English-speaking YouTubers I watched once in a blue moon (back then I watched mainly Brazilian YouTubers). One thing I did in fact notice over the years, around 2014ish perhaps, was that the two of them seemed to grow increasingly "awkward" around each other, in a way that many folks on the internet thought was reminiscent to Markiplier/Jacksepticeye, two YouTubers who also dealt with extraordinary amounts of shipping.

I'm not the only one who thinks this. The change in Dan and Phil's relationship, at least to the outside world, was clear to almost anyone who watched their videos for a while. I cannot blame them at all. The shipping was nuts. Between the countless fan videos, speculative comments, and insurmountable number of fanfics, there's no way the two of them didn't feel the weight of the shipping. The term "demon phannie" made its way into internet vernacular and there it stayed for years. Even Shane Dawson, who was one of the largest creators on the platform at the time, made several videos speculating on the nature of Dan and Phil's relationship and their sexual orientations. 

There was even porn made in which actors with similar appearances to the creators were made to have sex on camera. 

Now, this is actually a rare example where the two people involved in the ship actually came out as gay once the shipping seemed to die down. I'm incredibly happy Dan and Phil both reached a point where they were comfortable being publicly out, but I hate to say I'm shocked this day ever came. If I'd gone through what the two of them did, I don't know if I'd ever trust the internet. 

And again, this ship's fandom definitely had an obsession with the power dynamics they thought existed between the people within the ship. Dan Howell is 4 years younger than Phil Lester, and was only 18 in 2009, when they started making videos together. From my personal understanding, the shipping was often quite focused on this dominant/submissive dynamic especially in discussions from their early relationship. And this is in no way exclusive to Dan and Phil.

This general fascination with the older man/younger man dynamic, in my opinion, plays into the homophobic stereotype that gay men are predators. The idea that gay men usually seek younger men, and somehow "convince" them to engage in homosexual relationships, is popular homophobic rhetoric. The popularisation, exaggeration, and fetishisation of these power imbalances, in age and/or in relationship dynamics, is directly harmful to the mlm community. 

Not only that, but the romanticisation of a "hidden/forbidden relationship" is also detrimental not only to gay men and the mlm community, but to queer people as a whole. Queer people face huge trauma having to hide their relationships; queer attraction is already a societal taboo. And acting like this is good, or even desirable, is harmful to queer people as a whole, regardless of whether or not it's actually applicable to the people being shipped. It normalises this trauma not only to cisgender, heterosexual people, but to impressionable queer youth who grow to believe this type of trauma is to be expected. 

3. Frank Iero and Gerard Way

This is another example where the perceived power imbalances between the two subjects of the shipping were directly exploited online. Now, this ship did precede the others mentioned above. If we're looking at this topic chronologically, this particular ship did come first in the shipping timeline. It's closer to the origin of the shipping extended universe, if you will.

In case you aren't familiar with them, Frank Iero and Gerard Way are both members of the American emo band My Chemical Romance. This ship is the first one here of which I don't recall the full popularity. It really peaked in popularity around the late 2000s, circa 2008. And I don't remember this moment online as in 2008, I was only 6 years old and believe it or not, I wasn't really all that concerned with rumoured homoeroticism as a first grader. 

However, the popularity of this ship did carry over into the 2013-2015 Tumblr shipping boom. The emo fandom (or "bandom" as it was called) involving not only My Chemical Romance but other similar bands such as Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, and Pierce the Veil, found its hub on Tumblr. 

During this time, I did in fact listen to this style of music, but was focused a lot more on the anime side of Tumblr as mentioned earlier. Of course, I wasn't 13 years old like, "hey, this type of content might be harmful and can inadvertently perpetuate homophobic stereotypes," I just happened to care more about my silly little anime and ended up not getting involved. 

This ship does involve a discussion that the others don't, however. With Frank Iero and Gerard Way, there is quite often a certain sentiment of, "Oh, they brought this upon themselves!" as the two band members very famously kissed during a show in 2007. In my opinion, though, this doesn't really justify all the obsessive shipping. If you look at Green Day, a band often grouped in with MCR as another famous pop punk group, the members don't follow too different of a trajectory. Billie Joe Armstrong has, on numerous occasions, kissed both of his fellow band members onstage- particularly Tré Cool, the drummer. And Billie Joe Armstrong is openly bisexual, which none of the members of MCR seem to be but some, or even all of Billie's bandmates, are too. 

You'd think Green Day would face a lot more shipping as the more persistent onstage homoeroticism and Billie Joe's openness about his sexuality would warrant more "substantiated" speculation. However, Green Day faces nowhere near as much shipping as My Chemical Romance. Why is this? I actually don't know. It might've been because Green Day has been around for over a decade longer and generally has an older fandom, but I really am not that sure. 

 It could also be because of the lower lack of potential for forced relationship dynamics. The members of Green Day are all less than a year apart in age and are even similar in height. However, Frank Iero is 4 years younger than Gerard Way, who is not only the frontman of My Chemical Romance, but also considered to be the group's intellectual and creative "leader". Even beyond that, Gerard Way is quite visibly taller, and the perceived power difference between the two of them definitely did not elude their fans. 

This difference could even be partly due to the lack of a "mystery" with Green Day. There's not as much to speculate as, well… the members of Green Day are already open about their sexual orientations. It might be that shipping in the Green Day fandom has less of a forbidden appeal for most people. 

Of course, I won't just keep repeating myself, but my previous points about forced relationship dynamics still stand.

4. Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch

Better known for their roles in BBC Sherlock as Sherlock and Watson, Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch unfortunately had their roles follow them well into real life. This is the example I know least about, so have these thoughts from a follower by the name of @indubitably-a-goblin, who had the following to say:

"the main issues i had with it were:

a) they were both married at the time, freeman to amanda abbington and cumberbatch to sophie hunter (in which both had children)

b) the main reasoning for it was their chemistry in the many projects they've done together. which is, shockingly, their Whole Job. They're actors! That's what they're supposed to do! if they weren't good at interacting then they wouldn't be good actors! i don't know how people can't understand this.

c) they're real people. we don't know them. we aren't friends with them. we aren't their family members. we have zero right to be pushing this onto them and ruining their friendship by doing so. (this one relates to most of the ships you've mentioned though)

d) healthy friendships between two men are ignored so plainly in most medias and in fandom. its obvious that these two men have a relationship, but that doesn't mean it's a romantic one.

e) its fine to ship their characters, but actors shouldn't be treated as less-than-human or some sort of prop. they're doing a job, and once they are off-screen, they aren't here for your entertainment."

I believe she did a great job of summing it up on her own, and for the sake of avoiding redundancy, I'll leave it at that!

5. Corpse Husband and Sykkuno- an emerging yet subtle example

I am absolutely positive you remember how popular the game Among Us was a couple of months ago. And with the popularity of this game, some of its most prominent content creators became the targets of online shipping- as is the case with YouTubers and streamers Corpse Husband and Sykkuno. 

Although the shipping involving these two creators is nowhere near as strong as it was/is with the examples above, I do think there is once again a reemergence of a common theme here. Whilst Sykkuno is known for his happy-go-lucky, almost "innocent" persona, Corpse Husband is the antithesis of this, known for his much darker and moodier personality. 

Do I even have to mention what the common theme seems to be?

Again, although the popularity of shipping - at least with real people - seems to have died down a bit since the Tumblr shipping boom of the early to mid 2010s, I do believe this example is worth mentioning. Even though the creators are still close, they have in fact expressed discomfort regarding the shipping, and I can only hope the internet as a whole lets their friendship blossom and exist naturally without obsessive speculation. 

My final thoughts

As explored in the essay:

The romanticisation of objects of queer trauma as a part of online shipping normalises queer trauma to both cishet and queer youth. 

Online shipping, especially at a high intensity, can end up negatively impacting the very relationships they pine over. 

The relationship dynamics often forced on mlm ships perpetuate homophobic stereotypes about non-heterosexual men. 

If anyone else has thoughts on this matter, do share! This essay is moreso an opinionated observational piece and isn't meant to be taken as fact but rather just as my thoughts on the matter. I hope it was useful as a reflective piece regardless!

Date of posting: June 16th 2021

[softprincesso]

✨ HOW TO BECOME A WEALTHY MIDDLE AGED MAN✨

PT.2: Overview to understanding different saving/retirement methods, investments, and forms of income

Pt. 2.2 Overview of Investments

Welcome lovelies to (what I hope will be) a helpful series on gaining wealth and becoming financially literate and independent!

Disclaimer: Check other posts. It's too long to keep typing out.

Now comes (what I believe) is the fun part of money. Making it grow.

Investments are defined as “an asset or item acquired with the goal of generating income or appreciation.” Essentially, anything you purchase with the belief that in time it will be worth more. This includes the entire stock market, cryptocurrencies, art, real estate, jewelry, vintage coins, designer bags, etc. Of course, some of these take more time and each comes with some amount of risk. These variables change according to your strategy as an investor.

✨THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND✨

Begin as a Beginner

Do not overwhelm yourself during your financial literacy journey by trying to learn everything, all at once, while also trying it all out. The thing that creates the most confusion when learning is believing the lie that you can multitask well. Yes, start with a brief overview of the systems and institutions (what we are currently doing in the series) but literally all you need to start is definitions and a gist so that you can comprehend how they connect later on. Learning an entire world that has never been taught to you is going to take time, and I’m talking years. And then, when you think you have something down your going to mess up or read an article about how the stock you saw yesterday for $6 is now $1000 and you’re going to be frustrated (this happens a lot). But, If you want to learn about the stock market, focus on the stock market. Retirement still scares you, focus on that until you master it and have a plan. And for Christ’s (or whatever deity/person/universe you believe in) if you do not have a steady stream of income do not put your last pennies trying to get into crypto (or any investing truly). This is something to start after you have income, a savings, a retirement, and have paid off at least most debts.

Recommended sources to learn more:

Netflix has a great series called “Explained” where (you guessed it) they explain things. While I recommend every episode because you can never learn too much, there are ones specifically dedicated to the stock market, cryptocurrencies, and billionaires each that helps to uncomplicate the history and purpose of each of these things.

✨Let’s get started✨

The Stock Market

“Stock markets are real and electronic exchanges that enable the buying and selling of securities. The most popular include the NYSE, Nasdaq MarketSite, and Tokyo Stock Exchange.” Let me, let you, in on a little secret-the stock market is essentially fantasy football (sorry, my American is showing) but with companies. When you buy a security, you are betting that (in the long run or short run, depending on your strategy) that a certain company will perform well and gain profits, which in turn will gain you money on what you bet. There are two categories of players in the market which include the assets (the football players) and the investors (the betting public). Of the assets you can categorize further by what position they play on the field…

Stocks

Most well-known, but the riskiest. The “star” player that everyone hypes up and takes all the credit. Stocks are fractional pieces of publicly traded companies, and by buying a stock you own a relative size of that company. They are either “paying you” through growth (when their stock price rises) or through dividends (when they send you a piece of their profits directly).

Mutual Funds

Less known but a safer bet than single stocks. Popular among those in middle age. “Mutual funds are baskets of stocks or bonds. They come in all different shapes and sizes, from covering broad stock market indexes to focusing on specific sectors.” When you buy a mutual fund, you are saying that you believe on average that pile of stocks/bonds are going to do well, instead of betting on a single player. Usually they are actively managed by people who are trying to “beat” the market for you. Statistically good for the short term, long term are less effective than ETFs.

Index Funds: a subset of mutual funds that are passively managed and track indexes like an ETF but trade like a mutual fund (once at the end of the day and without reliance of supply and demand)

ETFs

Exchange traded funds. The up-and-coming underdog that’s gaining popularity. These are passively managed baskets of stocks and bonds that track over a specific index like the S&P 500. They work like stocks, being traded throughout the day, relying on supply and demand, while giving a lot of the advantages that mutual funds do. They also come with their own set of disadvantages but are still a great way to diversify a portfolio inexpensively.

Bonds

The reliable bench players you know you can put in to save a game. Great safe bets that can generate a steady income. Bonds work like a loan for a regular person, except for a company. You can loan your money to a company which will pay you a principal plus a fixed interest back every specified period. There are different types which come with different advantages and strategies, so make sure to read the fine print.

Commodities

Tangible goods that go into manufacturing-Gold, oil, metals, corn, soybeans, etc. A good defensive team to have in the game for a hedge against inflation or economic troubles. They trade in a commodity exchange. You can still access them through most brokers.

Source to look into for deeper understanding and questions: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/i/investment.asp

Easy way to get started quickly:

1. Create a brokerage account: There are lots of accounts to choose from, but I would go for accounts that have zero fees and no minimum, this is starting to become the norm but once upon a time you had to give a minimum investment of $5000 to get started. I personally use Charles Schwab and Robinhood. I love all of the tools and accounts Schwab has and Robinhood is just easy to use.

2. Sign up: this may take a day or two to finalize, especially with banks but it shouldn’t be a big deal

3. Connect a card or account to transfer funds

4. Buy your first security: I would start off with simply looking up beginner investments on google. I recommend either an ETF, index fund, or choose a company that you have an interest in because you will be more likely to keep up on their news

5. Tip: think long term as a beginner. Sure, once you start learning and understanding you can change your strategy to gain more in a shorter time, but this comes with much more risk. Do not be an idiot and sell all of your stock when you see your investment plummet nor sell as soon as you see it go up a little. The best advice for a beginner: Buy a stock and leave it alone (for YEARS)

Property/Real Estate

There are many ways to invest in real estate-you can buy a property, you can invest in a property fund, you can become a landlord,or you can flip a property. Again, depending on the strategy, will change the risk and reward you have taken on. All of these options are usually on the more cash heavy side but can reap a lot of rewards if done right.

Source to look into:

https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/investing/5-ways-to-invest-in-real-estate

Easy way to get started quickly:

1. Buy a real estate ETF or fund, you can just look this up on google or through your brokerage

2. OR you could look into buying a property near you and renting it out if you have that much cash (Make sure to do your research, this can get pretty complicated)

Art

Also considered property but until recently it was incredibly hard to invest in art without significant cash and contacts available. Now, there are platforms like Masterworks where you can buy a fraction of a piece like a stock of Monet and you get the rise in appreciation. However, it still is for those with money already available, I believe you have to invest a minimum of $2500 to get started on MW.

Sources to look into: https://www.investopedia.com/articles/pf/08/fine-art.asp

Crypto

Cryptocurrencies are digital currencies that are not backed by real or tangible assets or goods, but on the trust and value of the people that use them, and supply and demand. They can be traded like stocks on an exchange and are tracked with a digital ledger on the blockchain. The first cryptocurrency was Bitcoin and the rest that have followed are categorized as altcoins (alternative coins).

The stage of cryptocurrencies we are in is likened to the early 90s with the internet. Not a lot people truly understand the blockchain (the vast ledger space which contains every transaction made securely in encrypted “blocks” that are then “chained” together so that if one block is compromised the whole chain shuts it down.) It is decentralized and written simultaneously on thousands of super computers. The beauty of it is that if one ledger on one computer is somehow hacked or wrong the rest of the computers storing the ledger interrupt and either fix it or shut it down. A way to understand it is blockchain is to the internet as bitcoin is to a website, but the internet runs off people trusting the system, blockchain runs off trusting no one.

The currencies that run on blockchain can have a multitude of purposes, but bitcoin was really just the starting solution to fix the problem of trust on the internet. People wanted a secure, anonymous, untraceable way to spend money online, like cash is in the real world. And while for the most part it is just that, it isn’t completely anonymous. Like in the real world if you buy something from Mcd*nalds with cash that transaction is still recorded in their system and through a receipt. Your crypto transactions are recorded in the blockchain, but most people don’t even know how to access the ledger so for now any ill*cit purchases you make are pretty safe.

I HIGHLY recommend looking into a cryptocurrency course or training just because there is so much that goes into it and lots of details that can help you. This investment is incredibly risky and volatile! I only would suggest investing an amount you are completely comfortable to lose ALL of.

Sources to learn more:

https://www.investopedia.com/cryptocurrency-4427699

Easy to get started quickly (Please dear lord do your research first):

1. Sign up on a crypto exchange like Coinbase or Binance, some brokers (like Robinhood) also allow you to trade crypto but it’s a very limited selection

2. Do lots of research!! (I’m going to say it until you get it, and I don’t think you get it yet)

3. Think of it like stocks, if you read up on the coin and its purpose, and think that it’s going to be useful soon or in the future, then invest

4. Tip: the crypto market moves MUCH faster than the stock market and is much more sensitive. In just these last few days (literally hours) bitcoin was trading at $40,000+, the following day, for whatever reason (people got scared, people wanted to sell to get profits, etc.) it will barely hold $33,000. So, invest wisely!

This is very brief list of the main investments. There is still a lot of depth each of these goes into and especially with things like crypto, information changes 24/7. I hope you have learned by now that you should be continually learning as well. Instead of spending your morning looking at your Instagram feed of bum friends, dusty men, and “models” spend it reading the paper and catching up on the market. Follow investors and billionaires like you follow celebrities and see how much smarter you become. At the end of the day winners focus on winning, losers focus on winners.

With love,

O

[badgraph1csghost]

I want everyone who replied and completely missed the point to pay very close attention now, because this is why i made this post and you need to understand it. 

People got enough money to donate to AO3, buy crabs and checkmarks from tumblr, and hell even donate to fuckin wikipedia (which has benefactors that aren’t publicly disclosed to the point they have enough money to operate even without the donation drives), but when one of us comes in with the commission info or bandcamp link or just plain old "help me out" post, suddenly you're broke. "Oh you want too much, oh it's against the rules, oh just apply to welfare". Shut up. Shut your god damn hypocrite-ass mouth and stop talking.

You think youre doing even a tablespoon of good over at tumblr with your crabs and your checkmarks and your shoelaces? Tumblr made $68M last year and the way they used that money is to become twitter. Fuck that. "Oh i can't afford it, suddenly i can't afford it." Shut the hell up. All the money you spent on crabs and shit, tumblr was busy censoring another 15 transgirls' fully clothed selfies in that same amount of time. Tumblr intentionally operates in a deficit because no one wants to buy their leaky as fuck Ad-Free add-on and they are doing fuckall to make other money. For one thing, it isn't ad-free if "select partners" are still allowed to advertise to you through it.

I would definitely argue that the majority of users here are queer somehow. Trans, gay, nb, all that, and we all see how the staff treat people like us. Not the public staff who answer the at staff blog but the people behind the scenes. There's no "bug" in the system that's responsible for transwomen's content being censored, that's a human person behind the scenes pressing the delete button because they hate transwomen. There's no "bug" in the system that lets evangelists onto blaze, that's a human person pocketing a very substantial bribe from Moms for Liberty to allow that content onto the site. There's no "bug" in the system that lets neo-nazi blogs not only stay on the website but blaze their crap-ass "reject modernity” memes, that's a human person with a nazi armband in their desk drawer. To say nothing of the fact that "crab day" was the invention of a transphobe evangelist with tradcore shit all over their blog.

And then, you have the complete audacity to try and say you don’t want to fall for a scam. You know who you sound like? USA republicans trying to sell the idea of a voter fraud epidemic. There is no widespread scamming taking place on this website and you know it. You even reblogged those posts telling you what to look for and you still went with checkmarks and crabs. “Oh you’re just trying to scam me.” If I was trying to scam you, I’d link to my fake paypal login screen, not my Bandcamp page. You’re just using strawmen to avoid taking responsibility for your failure to this community.

TL;DR, you had the money to donate to AO3 and buy a useless ornament for your tumblr dash; but as soon as you see a transgirl talking about her commissions, suddenly you're broke. Fuck you.

[mediocre-eternity]

Hello. This is a website, or app, I’ve only been introduced to last night. I believe the entries are automatically dated but in case not, the date is 19 November, 2022. I’m unsure if anyone, mortal or otherwise, would be interested in interacting with a blog of mine on the internet. I’ve tried publicly posting online decades ago, when the internet was only just becoming a tangible thing. However, this app, as my good friend Benji calls them, seems more bustling than websites I’ve tried before. There’s a great deal of talking about various medias humans enjoy and I’ve already found writings musing over the books that were published by my dear beloved or my other good friends including my own. I’m not quite positive if young readers believe they are holding and reading from stories that the most intimate people in my life have suffered through. It’s amusing to read these analysis, theories and wishes. They’ve even read my own book and have some absolutely wild takes on who I am and what my writings are about. I suppose I wouldn’t be appealing to these children in real life and I’m curious of what they might think of my actual writing; not something I’m merely dictating to somebody who casually asked.

My name is Armand, currently. I am a vampire over five centuries old. I live on Night Island off the coast of Miami, Florida and have for the greater portion of about fifteen years. I live with my most beloved, who is my fledgeling Daniel and one of my dearest, Benji. For right now, we don’t do much but contemplate the restoration of our Island. It is our little sanctuary, our self made Heaven for a crowd of demons. It’s quiet for right now as we work on some reconstruction which is probably why I’m bored and wanting to write again. I have a great habit that hits me every few decades to read and consume and write and I suppose I’m on that kick. Benji pointed Tumblr out to me because he finds the website entertaining but also easy to find anything you might want to look at. I already found a lot of artwork and it works well on the phone I’m currently using which is an iPhone 14 pro. I tried to tell Daniel about it but he didn’t seem so interested. Daniel loves using the internet for information and rarely explores social media. He says he doesn’t mind if people can’t find him and something about how he’s lucky that other vampires haven’t come for his head because he was the one who originally published some of our books; Interview with the Vampire being the most important. I don’t think many other immortals make the connection, though. Daniel is so unassuming until he explains to others who he is.

Right now, besides the Island, my focus bewitched on Daniel and has been since we’ve returned to the Island. Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. He is my most patient, most civil and most kind. I reconnected with him within recent years and I’ll tell you all about that soon enough but for tonight I’m only thinking of the present. It is past ten o’clock but he still hasn’t risen. In the Blood, he hasn’t been the best at rising as soon as the sun sets. He blames me, with a smile on his face of course. He tells me it’s my fault for dragging him around for years when he was still mortal and never letting him get any sleep. Fair enough, I suppose. I like to see him rest. I like it when he awakens a bit disoriented but always finds me somewhere in the villa and is so delighted to see me. He’s always eager to hunt with me, to talk endlessly to me when we hunt. He’s always asking a million questions about my kill. It’s absurd to me now that I ever let my maker be the one who hunted with him nightly and be the one to teach him all the intricacies of murder. It really should have been me because it’s become so intimate. Daniel is so small in the Blood and so fragile that I want to tuck him into a little porcelain box and watch him from outside the box resting within the palms of my hands. Now that the link between our minds has been severed, I view him even more fragile. It’s a shame. It makes me cry all the time and Daniel abhors when I cry. But, yes, he’s still a little out of sorts when he awakens for the evening but his wandering mind is becoming more and more present as years past. In fact, he really has been quite independent. For most of the time, he’s incredibly present and lucid. I cherish this because my own maker claims Daniel’s restoration was mostly from his help but when I found Daniel again he was more ragged than he was when I left him, at least according to Daniel.

I’m rambling and if anyone finds this blog they’d be greatly confused as to why I’m so concerned with my fledgling’s mind. That’s so funny and you , reader, should absolutely read the chapter my dear friend Lestat wrote in his book Queen of the Damned called “The Devil’s Minion.” That’s a pretty amusing, albeit brief and insipid tale of how Daniel and myself met. Maybe don’t read Blood and Gold until you get to know us better. Strange book. Anyway. Tonight I think my plans for Daniel are to admire the water or have him watch shows with Benji. Yes, me and Daniel could have our walk by the ocean and maybe I’ll go swimming and he’ll watch me but he never wants to go as deep as I go, just watch and study the wildlife and rocks and shells. And he’ll pick up a shell he likes, like he always does, and put in on a random shelf or windowsill or in his coffin. For now I listen to my music and write as I wait for him to wake and then find me. So I suppose that’s all I have to write. I know I want to read, it’s compulsive, but I wouldn’t dare want to cease to exist within a book and miss hunting with my most beloved. So this is all.

[samwisethewitch]

Divination Basics

From the Roman priest reading auguries to interpret the will of the gods to the modern fortune teller reading with a deck of playing cards, divination has been a part of human spirituality for thousands of years. Today, divination is an important part of many witches’ practices, and can be an important tool for self-reflection and analysis.

Merriam-Webster defines divination as, “the art or practice that seeks to foresee or foretell future events or discover hidden knowledge usually by the interpretation of omens or by the aid of supernatural powers.” Divination can be used for many things, not just to predict the future. It can be used to understand the past, identify patterns at work in your present, or as a tool for working through trauma.

In the book You Are Magical, author Tess Whitehurst describes divination as, “a way of bypassing your linear, thinking mind and accessing the current of divine wisdom and your own inner knowing.” As I’ve discussed in a previous post, all of us are receiving psychic information all the time, though many of us don’t realize it. Divination tools like tarot cards or rune stones act as triggers to help kickstart our natural psychic gifts.

Divination relies on the use of our intuition. Intuition is defined my Merriam-Webster as, “the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference.” These are the things you know without needing to be told. Another way of thinking of it is this: your intuition is the way you interpret the information you receive through your psychic senses.

The most important thing to remember when doing divination is that the tool you are using isn’t giving you information — it’s simply helping you to access information you already know. The revelations come from you, not from the cards or whatever other tool you may be using.

When using divination to foresee the future, it’s important to remember that the future is never set in stone. These tools can only show you the most likely outcome based on your current direction.

 Beginner-Friendly Divination Tools

These are the divination methods I would recommend for beginners. For one thing, most of these systems are fairly easy to learn and use. For another, these are some of the most popular divination methods among modern witches, so it’s easy to find information about them and/or talk to other practitioners about their experience.

As you’ll see, each divination method has its own strengths and weaknesses, so you may choose to learn several methods that you can combine to get stronger readings. Or you may find that you can get all the information you need from a single method, which is also okay.

Tarot. This is my personal favorite divination method, but it’s also the one with the most misconceptions surrounding it. Tarot cards do not open a portal to the spirit world, and they probably didn’t originate in Ancient Egypt. In fact, evidence suggests that the tarot comes from a medieval Italian card game called Tarocchi, although the modern tarot deck as we know it didn’t come around until the 20th century. Tarot cards are not any more or less supernatural than ordinary playing cards. (Which, incidentally, can also be used for divination.)

Tarot makes use of archetypes, and many readers interpret the cards as a map of an archetypal spiritual journey. For this reason, tarot cards are especially useful for identifying the underlying patterns and hidden influences in any given situation.

Most tarot decks follow the same set of basic symbolism. Unfortunately, this does mean that new readers will need to study the accepted meanings. This isn’t to say that your readings will always match up 100% with the standard meanings of the cards — you may receive intuitive messages that deviate from tradition. Still, it’s helpful to know a little of the history and traditional symbolism behind this powerful divination tool. The good news is that, since most decks use similar symbolism, once you learn the traditional meanings you can successfully read with almost any tarot deck.

I’m planning to post a more in-depth introduction to tarot very soon, but in the meantime, if you want to learn this divination method I recommend starting with the book Tarot For Beginners by Lisa Chamberlain and/or with the website Biddy Tarot.

Oracle Cards. Oracle cards have been rapidly gaining popularity in the witchcraft and New Age communities in the last few years, and it’s easy to see why. One major appeal of oracle cards is how diverse they are — there are countless different oracle decks out there, each with its own theme and symbolism. Another big plus is how beginner-friendly they are; Oracle cards are usually read intuitively, so most decks won’t require you to learn a complex system of symbolism. (Of course, the fact that every oracle deck uses different symbolism can be frustrating for some readers, because they have to learn a new set of symbols for every deck.)

Some readers (myself included) also find that oracle cards usually give more surface level information. Tess Whitehurst says that, “While oracle cards can help us answer the questions ‘What direction should I take?’ and ‘What is the lesson here?’ tarot cards are more suited to helping us answer the questions ‘What is going on?’ and ‘What is the underlying pattern at work here?'” For this reason, many readers choose to use tarot and oracle cards together to get a more well-rounded look at the situation.

Another common complaint about oracle cards is that many decks are overwhelmingly positive and shy away from dark themes or imagery, which creates an imbalanced reading experience. I think this is best summed up by one Amazon review for the Work Your Light Oracle, which says: ��Basically, this is very much a deck for Nice White Ladies(TM) who like crystals and candles but aren’t ‘super into all that witchy stuff.'”

There ARE oracle decks out there that address darker themes, but many of the most popular decks on the market are overwhelmingly positive. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes a little positive encouragement is more helpful than brutal honesty. However, too much focus on the positive can lead you to ignore your problems, which only makes things worse in the long run. For this reason, finding balanced decks is important — if you’re going to use a very shiny happy deck, my advice would be to alternate it with more grounded decks, or with a deck specifically designed for shadow work.

That being said, oracle cards are a great divination tool if you can find a good deck, especially for beginners who are intimidated by more structured systems like tarot and the runes. If you’re interested in working with oracle cards, the best way to start is to find a deck that 1.) you feel a strong attraction to, and 2.) has a good guidebook. (My favorite oracle deck is the Halloween Oracle by Stacey Demarco, which I use for readings all year.)

Runes. The Elder Futhark alphabet is a runic alphabet that originated in ancient Scandinavia around 200 AD. While this was an actual writing system, it also had magical and mythological associations in the cultures that originally used it. While using the runes for divination is a modern practice, it is based on the historical sense of magic surrounding these symbols.

Like tarot, the runes have a traditional set of meanings. However, because there are only twenty-four runes, there aren’t as many meanings to learn as there are with tarot. Some rune sets also contain a blank stone, which has its own special meaning. I have personally found the runes to be a great source of wisdom and insight, although they do tend towards “big picture” messages rather than small details.

However, there is one major stain on the runes’ history; they were studied and used by Nazi occultists before and during World War II. Like many symbols associated with historical Germanic paganism, the runes were appropriated as part of Nazi propaganda — for example, the Sowilo rune was incorporated into the SS logo. This isn’t to say that you can’t reclaim the Elder Futhark alphabet, but I do think it’s important to know the history going in. Because of their association with Nazism, it’s best to avoid wearing or publicly displaying the runes.

There are other ancient alphabets that are used for divination, like the Anglo-Saxon runes or the Irish Ogham, but the Elder Futhark is the most popular.

If you’re interested in learning divination with runes, I recommend the book Pagan Portals: Runes by Kylie Holmes.

Pendulums. Pendulums are interesting because, unlike tarot, oracle cards, and runes, they can be used to answer yes or no questions. For this reason, many readers use pendulums to get clarification on readings they’ve done with other divination methods, but you can also use pendulums on their own.

A pendulum is any small, weighted object hanging from a chain or string. You can buy a pendulum made specifically for divination from a metaphysical shop or an Etsy seller, but you can just as easily use something you already have: a necklace, your housekey, or a small rock or crystal tied to a string.

Pendulums may be the easiest divination method to learn. The only thing you need to do to learn how to interpret a pendulum is ask it what its “yes” and “no” motions look like. To do this, simply hold your pendulum in your hands and focus on your connection to it. Then, let the pendulum hang from its chain or string so it can swing freely. Say or think, “Show me ‘yes’.” Allow the pendulum to swing, and pay attention to its movements. “Yes” is often a forwards-and-backwards swing or a clockwise circle, but your “yes” may look different. (Some witches even notice that different pendulums in their collection have different “yes” and “no” movements!) Once you’ve gotten the pendulum to show you its “yes,” ask it to show you its “no.” For many readers, “no” is a side-to-side swing or a counterclockwise circle, but again, yours may be different.

The biggest downside to pendulums is that because they typically only answer “yes” or “no,” you have to be very specific with your questions. Pendulums aren’t the best tool for general energy readings or open-ended advice. However, that specificity makes them great for validating your gut feelings, interpreting your dreams, identifying a deity or spirit that you think may be reaching out to you, or any other situation that requires a little clarification.

[softluci]

hello yes can i just say i l o v e d your gen z hcs and may i acquire more

for starters, i am not religious, but i am PRAYING you don’t think i was ignoring your ask. i’ve been thinking about it since i got it, it’s just that i’m a college student with worms for brains, so hopefully you understand. this is something that i’ve had on my mind for a long time [i’ve been at this on and off for months], and it most definitely can be associated with/attributed to gen z. 

for a fleeting, wonderful period of time, there was a trend on tiktok that went, “buss it, buss it…” are you familiar? 

that should be enough of a summary, right? ah—for future reference, “o7” is like a saluting emote, for anyone who might not know. reader is g/n as usual, enjoy!

[a/n: so because this is so long, this part is going to be, like, the lore, and then the actual headcanons will be right here]

trendy 

the two things most corrosive to the human spirit are easily named—capitalism and boredom. while it would be easier and less taxing to explain the former, the latter was the problem at hand. it’s not that there was nothing to do in the devildom—quite the opposite, actually—it was just that you wanted some time to yourself every now and again. the trouble with trying to take time for yourself in a completely new location, the residents of which are always enamored with you in one way or another, is that there isn’t anything to do. the house was full of adventures for you to take—the trap door under the rug in the library, the other trap door under the dining room table, the small door behind the couch in the living room, and whatever other poorly hidden doors your seven roommates thought you didn’t know about. 

trouble was, you didn’t want to leave your room. you, intelligent creature that you are, knew that the chances of you running into mammon or satan or beel or asmo were all too high, and even higher were the chances of you agreeing to spend time with them if they asked, and you knew they would. what were you to do? 

you stared at your ceiling from your bed, d.d.d. resting on your stomach as you let your mind wander. your d.d.d. was full of things for you to do, the devildom’s ethernet at your fingertips, but you weren’t interested in finding new things right now. you wanted something familiar, like—like your phone. 

what was the point of lucifer taking your phone, anyway? it’s not like you could use it—being here rendered it a useless brick of glass and metal, so it wouldn’t have been a big deal if you still had it. it was funny, though, that you couldn’t use your actual phone when it was still possible to access the human internet from down here. 

at least, you assumed so. 

how else would levi be able to keep up with his human idols, get tickets for their shows—the works, you know? luckily, you were fully capable of asking. 

d.d.d. now in your hand, you rolled onto your stomach and found your messages with levi, nails clacking against the glass as you tried to reach him.

hey, you texted, can you help me with something?

his reply came faster than you expected: ?? what do you need 

how do i access human websites and apps, you asked, rolling onto your side. you know how to, right?

lololol, it’s not possible :p

a grunt, more aggravated than you’d care to admit, escaped from the back of your throat.

don’t lie. 

a few minutes passed with no response, and you wondered if you were too harsh. 

“he’s a sensitive guy,” you mumbled, inhaling deeply. “i probably came on too strong or something.” 

just as you started typing out an apology and a, “forget i ever said anything,” you got a response. 

a vpn and a proxy site. 

a smile crept onto your face as air came out of your nose, the closest thing to a laugh you could muster. 

can you set it up for me? 

after another few minutes of no response, you sit up, wondering how you could’ve possibly fucked up a second time, your d.d.d. buzzed. 

levi sent you a file and a link, with a host of instructions. 

click on the file and it’ll take you to the vpn you need to download. don’t worry about bugs or anything, i made it myself. 

you let out a low whistle, flopping onto your back once more. 

“this guy gets up to more than i thought,” you said, eyebrows raised. “someone get this man some physical affection.” 

you continued to read, growing more fond of him with each sentence.

once you install it, pick the country whose network you want access to. from there, you’ll have a list of that country’s most used applications available for you. again, don’t worry about bugs. 

what’s the link for? you asked, excitement getting the better of you. 

for when you download internet applications. it’s added security, paste the link in before you search anything or you’ll trigger the firewall alarm. 

you blinked. 

you’ll trigger the what? 

i’ll trigger the fucking What? 

levi’s response was the fastest one yet: the Fucking Firewall Alarm. barbatos’ design. he has no idea i know how to bypass it. just do what i said. don’t try to solve any potential issues on your own, come to me for everything.

roger that o7, you replied, thanks levi ^_^

yeah, yeah. come to my room for a hxh binge tomorrow night.

you snorted. what a fucking nerd—in the greatest way possible. 

of course bestie :] ily

ily2 normie -_- 

in his room, unbeknownst to you, levi felt like he made a mistake of some kind. it’s not that he didn’t trust you, it’s just that you had a tendency to end up in undesirable situations, even if it wasn’t always on purpose. he was probably just worried over nothing, or so he tried to tell himself, but whatever. this isn’t even about him.

you sat up once more, this time leaning against your pillows as you started setting everything up. everything went so quickly that you barely wondered if all of this—subverting hell’s firewall, personally designed by a man eerily similar to a 2D crush from when you were in middle school—was worth accessing a few silly apps from the human world. 

a few minutes later, your d.d.d. now a much, much cooler copy of your phone, any and all thoughts of regret and hesitation were absent from your mind. 

your first order of business on your upgraded d.d.d. was logging into your tiktok account, however surprising it was that you even remembered the password. you put your headphones in and adjusted your volume, going back into the dumpster fire that is your for-you page with open arms. 

after around half an hour of stifled laughter and small, offended gasps from being targeted by the algorithm, you came across a rare dancing video. the person on your screen was in casual clothes, making minor, silly dance movements as the music dwindled, only for them to drop into a squat in time with the music, suddenly dolled up. you shot forward, taken aback by their transformation and by their dancing post beat drop. did you watch it on a loop for a few minutes? well, that’s nobody’s business but yours. you clicked on the sound in hopes of finding similar videos, and much to your relief, there were plenty. about ten videos in, a smile still on your face, you got an idea. 

you slipped your headphones out, arbitrarily looking around your room, before whispering to yourself, “i could—i could do that. i could totally do that.” 

and you were right. you had nice clothes and makeup from various shopping occasions with asmo. your room had led strips, courtesy of levi ordering the wrong ones and being so kind as to give them to you. you could do it. 

levi was the only person you’d spoken to since you retreated to your room a few hours ago, and the lights have been off the entire time, which meant that if you worked quietly enough, everyone else had reason enough to assume you were asleep. good! how could you possibly explain what you were doing getting all dolled up at, like, 11:00 on a wednesday night? you couldn’t, even a little bit—not in a way that convinced anyone, anyway. 

come midnight, you were sitting cross legged on your bed, watching your final product. not to be vain or anything, but you were looking very respectfully at yourself. since when could you move like that, anyway? the wonders of being alone, you supposed. 

you didn’t post it publicly, electing to save it as a draft just so it would save to your d.d.d. maybe you’d post it once you were back in the human world, when your friends wouldn’t swarm your comments asking where the fuck you were. 

yeah, lucifer told you, “everything was taken care of,” but regardless of whether or not you believed him, you knew it wasn’t a good idea to risk finding out if he missed something. 

boredom creeping up on you again, you elected to go through the messages on your d.d.d. it would be better to make yourself laugh before you were fully bored again, right? you stood up and stretched, opening the group text with the adults. luke doesn’t know about it; he thinks the one with everyone is the main one, and everyone lets him think that so he feels included. 

walking around your room in small circles, you scrolled up to the older conversations and read through them, rolling your eyes and chuckling to yourself. very rarely did they talk about anything of importance. it was mostly diavolo, barbatos, and simeon making quips and jokes at lucifer’s expense for everyone to see. it was gold in its purest form. 

you contemplated sending one of the many cursed things sitting in your camera roll, just to keep them on their toes, but just after opening your gallery, you resigned not to, figuring it would be best to leave him alone. 

you stretched again, the hold on your d.d.d. a bit looser this time. it nearly slipped out of your hands, but you caught it, tossing it onto your bed. as soon as you resigned to start getting ready for bed, you turned back around and picked it up. 

there was no rhyme or reason to your actions; if someone in that moment were to ask you why you did it, you would’ve said, “just ‘cause.”

human intuition is a wonderful thing.

your d.d.d. was still on, still open to the group chat. you’d sent something, evidently a second ago, as indicated by the time stamp. the thumbnail was of you, in casual clothing—the casual clothing you were wearing before you got dolled up, actually. huh. 

huh. 

the weight of your mistake came crashing down on you in full force, a chill sinking into your skin and running up your spine.

you were suddenly acutely aware of the concept of time, how it was of the essence and you had absolutely none to waste.

what were you to do? it wouldn’t be long before your favorite person saw it. you had to do something. 

you could say nothing. you could tell the truth and say it was an accident and that you were embarrassed, but that was even worse than saying nothing because it meant you were set to be the target of teasing you didn’t even wanna try to imagine. you could say it was an accident and be confident about it, telling them, “enjoy!” but that was a dangerous game to play, and you knew it. 

well, i do admire you for taking time to think, but, unfortunately, there was a checkmark next to your message. oh, a number as well—eleven. you just can’t catch a break. what were they all doing up at this time, anyway? it was a school night🤨. 

[edenfenixblogs]

First of all, thank you. So much. More than I can express.

Secondly, a lot of people who write things like this to me (and oh my gosh two weeks ago I had nobody writing anything like this to me. I am so grateful for you all), keep apologizing and saying that these words don’t do much or can’t do much.

You could not be more wrong.

I don’t know how well I’ll be able to explain or convey the emotions involved here to someone who isn’t Jewish, but I’ll try my best.

You’ll see a lot of Jews online right now (including me!) publicly begging for support—visual and vocal support— of the Jewish people speaking out right now.

I think that many people interpret this as Jews asking people to “pick a side” or to prove they aren’t terrorists or something like that.

That’s not what’s happening.

The standard for nearly 3000 years of Jewish history is that people hate us. Sometimes violently and vocally. Sometimes quietly and passively. But hate is never far beneath the surface. I mean, literally the barest research into Jewish history will prove this.

The best we can ever hope for collectively is tolerance. Sometimes (especially in Allied nations after WWII) we’d even get tolerance wrapped in a shroud of self-righteousness that made support a bit more vocal. But it’s never actually been about us or supporting Jews as humans. It’s about using us and the support or exclusion or victimization of us in order to justify behavior of a dominant group—whether that means self congratulatory inclusion to stroke their egos or targeted and purposeful extermination of us as vermin.

So right now (when Jews are most vulnerable and people are denying atrocities against us (again) and public sentiment so loudly opposed to our existence and self determination), support in a public way is more important than ever.

You had nothing to gain by sending me this message or posting it publicly. The vast majority of people on this website are either silent on what has happened and continues to happen to us, purposefully excluding Jews from what they do post about supporting victims, or actively celebrating and justifying the atrocities against us.

In all likelihood, someone is now suspicious of you because you supported Jews publicly. And they suspect you of also having whatever flaw or evil they perceive that we have as well.

But you sent it anyway. You listen when Jews talk. You supported us like the grieving and traumatized human beings we are instead of dismissing us like relics of history or a monolith of evildoers.

This is the moment, right now, when Jews are watching goyim most closely. Because right now, when you have nothing to gain, is when we all know you’re showing us who you really are.

Things will change soon. Perhaps not “soon” in the Christo-centric understanding of time. But soon in terms of the ongoing cycle of widespread antisemitic violence that occurs on average every 10-40 years for the last 2.5 millennia. I can’t say how things will change. Perhaps we’ll be rounded up en masse and placed in camps and gas chambers again. Or perhaps tensions will ease and people will go back to bland dismissal or performative declarations of support to an audience that has decided it’s ok to do that again. Or, G-d-willing, perhaps there will finally be true and lasting peace for all in Israel and Palestine.

Either way, change will come. And people will go back to offering whatever level of support or censure is compatible with dominant political ideology wherever they live.

But now is the time where goyim can’t hide. Now is the time where the goyische response to antisemitism actually matters and affects Jewish futures. Now is the time that determines what kind of change will follow this moment—lasting peace, bland tolerance, or violent extermination. And it will depend on goyim like you and how many of you show up.

When I talk with other Jews about the Holocaust—which is not often, because every single Jewish person in the world was affected by the Holocaust and lost branches from their family tree and it is very painful to discuss—we don’t talk about the death marches or gas chambers or starvation. At least not as often or just amongst ourselves. We talk about those things to you (as in goyim). We talk about those things to you, because you (goyim, not you personally) are the ones who did those things to us and it is important that you (every goyim, including you) contend with that in the same way that every white American person must contend with the legacy of slavery in order to dismantle racial prejudice. In order to grow from the engrained cultural hatred you posses, you (all goyim) must confront the history of it in your (goyische) communities.

But amongst ourselves? What we talk about are the neighbors who watch the Nazis take us from our home. We talk about the disenfranchised German citizens who dismissed the inherent antisemitism in Hitler’s rhetoric, because he had “good ideas” about creating more living space for (non-Jewish) German people and talked about restoring dignity to the German people living under unfair financial burdens as a result of the post-WEI peace treaties. We talk about the coworkers who quietly stopped talking to us or inviting us to gatherings when they learned they were Jewish. We talk about the people who put up swastikas in shared spaces but assured us that it wasn’t because they hated Jews. They just really liked Hitler’s economic proposals. And anyway, why are we making a big deal out of it? And why are we so interested in the country’s money anyway? And you didn’t really agree with Hitler before, but if I keep talking about how this good German citizen should handle German business you might have to revisit your opinions on the subject. Maybe he had a point about all Jews being greedy and money hungry.

We talk about how easy it was for Coco Chanel to write to German officials about the “bandit (Jew) who screwed [her]” by legally entering an agreement in 1924 to manage the production, marketing, and distribution of Chanel No. 5 in exchange for a 70% share of the company. How easy it was for her to point out that the Jewish people who had been running and operating the business for nearly 20 years no longer had the right to own property in Nazi occupied France. How easy it was for her to point out that she was Aryan and had a legal right to sole ownership of the perfume.

After all, she didn’t do it because she hated Jews, right? She created the perfume and it bore her name. I mean, yes. She did legally license that name to a company and remove herself from all involvement in business operations for years. But she was just following the law, right? The law said Jews couldn’t own things. So it only made sense to her to claim the “ownerless” business. Nothing personal. Besides, they’re just thieving money-obsessed Jews anyway…

We talk about how long it took after WWII for people to start investing heavily in BMW and Mercedes and Ford and Audi knowing they all directly benefitted from Jewish slave labor in concentration camps.

We talk about how convenient it is that so many people—whether in axis nations or occupied territories—claimed to be shocked by the horrors revealed about the concentration camps and Jewish treatment therein after the camps were liberated.

I mean, sure, they all knew their neighbors were dispossessed of property and that their coworkers were removed from their jobs and the families they used to see at the market were sent to ghettoes. But starvation and torture? How could anyone see that coming? Unrelatedly, those huge building complexes erected near their homes with the walking skeletons in striped clothes seem to be very interesting. And that one living skeleton near the fence sure does resemble Erik from next door.

We talk not about how inherently evil Hitler was. We talk about the people who voted for him who supported his rise to power. To the lower tier German soldiers who worked in the camps. Who saw the starvation and did nothing. Who shoved Jews into gas chambers and crowded trains bound for graves. Who led the death marches and watched Jews fall and shot the ones who tried to flee. Who made parents choose which of their children would live and die. Who used newborns as skeet in target practice. Who tattooed Jewish arms and shaved Jewish heads and experimented on Jewish bodies.

And who ALL went home to their families and thought of themselves as perfectly reasonable normal people.

Vocal antisemites are terrifying of course. And I cannot and would never speak for all Jews. But I also know I’m not the only one who prefers a vocal antisemite to a cowardly quiet one or a willfully ignorant one. At least the vocal antisemite has the courage to say their hatred aloud and let us know where they stand.

The quiet ones who watch it all unfold and say nothing are the ones who made the atrocities happen. If Hitler only had a group of strong supporters in his inner circle, none of the atrocities would ever have happened. The atrocities happened because people voted for him and went to work to build his weapons and wore his uniforms and saluted to him and walked into the camps every day and clocked in for a normal day of work that just happened to include torturing and murdering Jews.

We talk about how people love to claim “but normal citizens were too scared to fight back,” without acknowledging that they were afraid of a substantial portion of their fellow citizens who willingly signed up to enforce genocidal policies against Jews while casting Jews as the aggressors.

So, yes, @noneedforbloodpressure and @transcaptainleviathan, your public and vocal support DOES matter to Jews. Because it means that, despite no personal benefit and legitimate risk of social backlash, you see as as human anyway. Not because it’s the popular sentiment, but because you really believe it. And that is not something that Jews have (or have ever had) the luxury of assuming that people think about us.

It matters because some people will always be cowards unwilling to speak up for us, but if their are enough people like you, the cowards won’t be forced to align with the antisemites who hate us out of a sense of self preservation. Some people might be willing to speak up for us too, as long as someone else does it first, which you have done.

It matters. You matter. Your support matters and has a material and practical effect on the safety of all Jews everywhere. And that is why I thank you so profusely and repeatedly.

NOTE TO READERS UNFAMILIAR WITH MY BLOG: I am a pro-Palestine Jewish woman who is not a Zionist and who has never been to Israel. I devote substantial time to combatting both Islamophobia and Antisemitism through measured, good faith discourse, peace-oriented outreach, and well-sourced historical and cultural education. My goal is to achieve a peaceful future for all Jews, Israelis, Arabs, Muslims, and Palestinians in their shared homeland. I want them all to have equal rights, protection, and recognition under the law, and I want a government that honors every group’s history and culture.

This post is not an invitation to discuss or debate the Holocaust. This post is not an invitation for any goyim to make even one single comparison to the Holocaust. Things can be very bad without being the Holocaust. The Holocaust is not the goyim’s to reclaim or reframe or to compare to other issues. The Holocaust is not the cultural property of goyim, but their cultural and historical legacy to the Jewish people. Any goyim comparing current events to the Holocaust will be immediately blocked without exception.

Genocide, ethnic cleansing, segregation, starvation, bombings, explosions, attacks, torture, and subjugation are all words that exist.

Use those words instead.

If you cannot make your point about the inherent dignity of Palestinians without invoking the Holocaust, that’s a you problem. Do more reading before you speak. If you weaponize the memory of the Holocaust against any Jewish people for any reason, you are an antisemite.

It is good practice for all goyim to keep the Holocaust out of their mouths unless they are making good faith attempts to learn more about it or to reconcile with how their non-Jewish cultural privilege entangles them with it.

(PPS: no, this post does not erase the dehumanization and slaughter of Black, Brown, queer, and disabled people by Nazis during the Holocaust. Don’t fucking start.)

Hey - no need to reply to this - I just wanted to thank you for your posts with regards to antisemitism in pro-palestine spaces; you’ve helped me identify a number of ways I can do better and I’m grateful. I know I’m just some internet rando, but I know how hard it is to speak up the way you’ve been and I want you to know you’re reaching people

Thank you so much. I see so much antisemitism every day now. And I get one message like this for every 100 messages or screenshots or news stories of structural antisemitism or antisemitic violence.

But honestly? Knowing in reaching anyone outside of our own community means so much to me and makes all the rest of it worth it. Thanks for making the world a safer place for me and my family to inhabit, @noneedforbloodpressure 💜

[duggardata]

Were Jed + Katey “Betrothed”?

There’s a bit of a rumor going around Fundie Tumblr, saying that Jed Duggar + Katey Nakatsu’s Relationship followed a procedure known as ‘betrothal,’ rather than the Duggar–typical ‘courtship.’  Ultimately, I think the distinction is more–or–less meaningless...  Either way, it’s a parent–supervised, chaste, patriarchal method of ‘dating,’ as much as the Duggars despise that word.  But, honestly, I’m intrigued by the Duggars’, etc., odd relationship practices—and, I’d like to discuss the possibility that Jed + Katey were, indeed, ‘betrothed.”

After the jump...

First of all...

What is Courtship?

As Duggar Snarkers, we’re probably all familiar with the concept of ‘courtship.’  The Duggars (and Bateses, etc.) often discuss it.  Basically, they like to say it’s ‘dating with a purpose.’  You don’t date for the sake of dating; you only date if you’re ready for marriage and believe your partner is your intended spouse.  A Duggar–style courtship also differs from ‘secular dating’ in that there is a lot of parental involvement:  The man pursues the woman only after getting consent from her father, and both partners are expected to seek their parents’ counsel as the relationship progresses to determine if marriage is appropriate.  There’s also a slew of rules, which vary somewhat, but often include—

Strict Limitations on Physical Contact   Sex is always off–limits, as is kissing in most cases.  Certain types of hugs might be banned.  Hand–holding might be banned.  ‘No Touch’ courtships aren’t unheard of.

Constant Supervision / Chaperoning   Usually, the couple isn’t alone together, ever, until marriage.  Chaperones tend to be ‘provided’ by the woman’s family.  Sometimes phone calls and texts are monitored.

Entrenched Gender Roles   Generally, the man is in control.  He asks the woman to court, decides when they get engaged, etc.  His partner begins a sad transformation, wherein she starts looking to the male as her absolute ‘headship’ and leader....  It’s creepy.

Lots of Praying  Everyone involved prays a lot and tries to figure out if the pairing is ‘God’s will,’ or not.

Courtship is a commitment, but it is not unbreakable.  Sometimes courtships fail, and that’s by design...  The whole point is to figure out if you’re meant to marry one another.  You haven’t decided yet.  You’re trying to decide.

What is Betrothal?

So...  How does ‘betrothal’ compare?  First of all, I need to say:  There isn’t a 100% agreed upon definition of ‘betrothal,’ here, since the Duggars have not ever publicly discussed it or publicly engaged in the practice.  With that said, I’ve done some research about ‘betrothal’ in Duggar–y circles, and here’s the gist...

With betrothal, there’s no trial period.  From the start, the couple vows—often literally—to eventually marry their partner.  There’s no backing out.  (If you do, you’re breaking your vow to God.)  Basically...  You go from zero to engaged.  (And, really, it’s more than engaged.  With a typical engagement, there isn’t a solemn vow before God; with betrothal, there is.)  After the betrothal, the new couple spends a period of time getting acquainted and planning the wedding, and then they get married.  As with courtship, the rules of betrothal vary a lot; however, in my research, I did see some trends.  Here are the ways that, IMO, betrothal notably varies from courtship—

Solemn Vow to Marry w/ Little to No Trial Period   See Above.

Ceremony / Ritual Aspect   Often, the betrothal itself occurs at some sort of ceremony.  It’s solemnized.  Often, there’s a literal exchange of vows, similar to a wedding ceremony.  Contracts aren’t unheard of.

More Extreme Parental Involvement   Often, the parents—the father, specifically—is even more involved than is typical in a ‘courtship.’  He often takes on essentially the entire responsibility of vetting the young suitor for his daughter, since there’s no ‘trial period’ where she gets to know him before being betrothed.  Basically, the father picked out his daughter’s husband for her.  That’s the whole point.

“Arranged” Feeling   See Above.  It’s not unheard of for the man and woman to meet for the first time on the date of their betrothal.

(Note—I’m talking about fundie–style betrothal, here.  Betrothal is actually a long–standing practice of various groups.  Notably, it’s part of Judaism, and discussed in the Torah.  We’re not talking about that sort of betrothal or any other sort of betrothal, here.  I’m strictly talking about the bizarre concept of betrothal occasionally practiced on the fringes of the Duggars’ circle.)

More About Fundie Betrothal

What’s clear, at least to me, is that fundie ‘betrothal’ is a way to ‘one–up’ the more typical practice of ‘courtship.’  Apparently, rejecting dating isn’t enough for some families.  They’re not satisfied just to ‘court,’ like everyone else.  So, they take things one step further with ‘betrothal,’ which they claim is better—more biblical, etc.—than mere ‘courtship.’

Digging into this, Duggar Data learned that a few fringe fundies really pushed this ‘betrothal’ concept.  One was Vaughn Ohlman.  Ohlman previously ran a website called ‘Let Them Marry,’ which creepily encouraged young marriage.  Basically, Ohlman’s whole schtick—which he sums up in “True Love Doesn’t Wait,” an article that is basically his manifesto—is that young fundies should marry as soon as possible, since supposedly the Bible says so, and God.  In pushing this strange agenda, Ohlman naturally got to the topic of the proper way to select a spouse...  His answer was ‘betrothal.’  (See Also.)  Eventually, Ohlman traveled the country, teaching about betrothal and how it’s the ‘right’ way to find a mate.  Courtship is ungodly and unbiblical, yada yada yada.  (If you’re wondering...  Yes, he was nuts.  Absolutely nuts.  Thankfully, he ended up shutting down his ministry after receiving a lot of well–earned criticism.)

Vaughan married off his son, Joshua, via a betrothal.  Here’s Joshua + Laura’s Story, which is one of the best–known fundie betrothal stories.  Another well–known, and highly disturbing, betrothal story is that of Matthew + Maranatha Chapman.  (See Also.  See Also.)  Also, here’s a chart comparing betrothal to secular dating and courtship, which I thought was pretty interesting.     

So, What About Jed + Katey?

Why, exactly, do people think Jed + Katey were betrothed?  A few things drive the rumor—

The ‘Biblical Betrothal’ Post   There’s a mysterious, password–protected post on the Nakatsu Family Blog, entitled ‘Biblical Betrothal.’  Kory made the post in June 2018.  Its contents is unknown, since it’s password–protected.

The Vows at The Proposal   On the video documenting Jed’s proposal, which was posted on the Nakatsu Family Blog, Jed and Katey apparently exchanged vows when they got engaged.  These vows somewhat resemble the vows that might be exchanged at a betrothal ceremony.

Kory’s Speech At The Wedding   At the Wedding, Kory made a speech when he ‘gave’ Katey to Jed, in which he sort of implies that he personally selected Jed for her, and Katey had agreed to this.

The Wedding Vows   Overally, Jed + Katey’s Wedding just seemed very, very fundie, if that makes sense.  Their vows hammered on the wife’s submission, yada yada yada.  Gives the impression that this was a very strict relationship, and they’re deeply committed to the disgusting notion of biblical patriarchy—which is the exact sort of idea that betrothal advocates are into.

That said, there’s also...

Evidence Against A Betrothal—

During the wedding, the pastor referred to their ‘courtship, and made no mention of betrothal whatsoever.  (And it’s not like he held back, at all, in talking about those fringe fundie beliefs...  Just read their vows!)

According to Reed Roberts, and also Jed, Jed + Katey were together for about a year, prior to marriage.  So, if those vows at the proposal were a betrothal, it clearly wasn’t a ‘traditional’ betrothal...  Since they’d already been together for awhile, at that point.

Reed Roberts denies that Jed + Katey were “arranged.”  (Though, I think it’s also worth mentioning...  He didn’t actually say how they met.  Which I think is kinda weird.  It seems natural to tell the ‘how they met’ story, in attempting to dispel rumors of an arranged marriage.  But he doesn’t.)

Final Thoughts

Duggar Data doesn’t think that Jed + Katey had a ‘true’ betrothal, thought I do suspect the courtship was probably stricter than most, and that Kory probably played a larger role than is ‘typical.’  I think it’s possible that Kory read about—or perhaps, even attended a seminar—about ‘biblical betrothal,’ which led him to making that post on his blog.  As for his comments at the wedding...  I take them to mean that Kory urged Katey to allow him to guide her in choosing her partner, and she agreed.  Maybe he even set her and Jed up.  But...  I’m not at all convinced that he chose Jed without her input, or that she and Jed actually agreed to a ‘betrothal,’ in the sense of vowing to marry as strangers.

Also, one last thing...  Regardless of what Jed + Katey called their relationship, I’m of the opinion that, honestly, it’s basically the same nonsense the Duggars have always practiced.  Betrothal or courtship...  It’s really not that different, in my view.  It’s all based on the same bullshit—namely. twisted gender roles and so–called ‘biblical patriarchy.’  Whether they were ‘arranged,’ or ‘betrothed,’ or whatever, we know the fathers always play a major role.  We know the women always defer to their ‘headship.’  Perhaps Katey + Jed (and Kory) were slightly more overt about it, but that’s it...  Call it Kool–Aid or call it Tang, it’s the same sugary nonsense.

[shinesurge]

I’ve been holding off on making this post because I wanted to try it out myself and get settled in and make sure everything went okay, but seeing as I’ve gone ahead and updated my site and everything I thought now might be a good time to start talking about this publicly! 

If you’ve known me for more than five minutes you know I fucking hate Webtoon, like, a lot. Every aspect of it disgusts me to the core of my being, and while Webtoon is the ugliest version of them the aspects that I hate also extend to basically any comic aggregate site. I hate that they treat artists like content robots, I hate that they treat comic readers like morons who aren’t capable of engaging with complex stories, I hate that they actively try to strip away all the cool parts of indie comics by cultivating sterile and impersonal environments that discourage artistic experimentation and unique expression.

So! I hope you’ll be interested in what I have to say about this new platform that’s (hopefully) going to be out of alpha this summer. If you think you like reading comics on Webtoon, I really encourage you to check out Dillyhub once it launches. That’s the short version, but I have a LOT to say about this! So I’m putting the rest of this under a cut.

Full disclosure, I’m not getting paid or anything for this. The creative outreach at Dillyhub contacted me a few weeks ago asking if I’d be interested in having Kidd Commander be one of their launch titles when they go live this summer. I was hesitant at first, since I actively distrust anything claiming to be For Creators at this point, but they answered my pushy questions patiently and everything seemed on the up and up so I gave it a shot; I’ve been needing a mobile mirror for KC anyway. Eventually they invited me to the alpha creator discord, where they’ve been working directly with all of us artists to improve the platform, and now to be honest I’m REALLY excited for this thing to get off the ground. Nobody asked me to make this post, but since I’ve spent years whining and bitching about how other services do wrong by their creators, I thought I’d talk about this one that’s doing things right.

So, the biggest advantage this site has for creators over others in my opinion is that it. Treats us like individuals, regardless of follower count lmfao. If you’re a new person just starting out with your new webcomic, here’s what webtoon does for you:

Note: you don’t get a custom banner, you don’t even get to choose the solid color it is. That big circle icon is ALSO the image that shows up in searches, but everywhere else on the site it’s a 100x100px square, so you have to choose whether you want it to look good as a giant circle at the top of your comic’s page OR whether you want to look good in search results. Which, by the way, is the ONLY way for people to find you if you’re not partnered. And that’s it! You have no monetization options, you won’t show up on the genre pages, and when someone DOES stumble across your page it looks super unprofessional. Good Luck! 

Now here’s my Dillyhub page(s):

You don’t get a static banner and one icon, you get a whole carousel banner with as many images as you want front and center as soon as you get to the project page. You get seven (custom!) genre tags, as opposed to Webtoon’s single tag you have to pick from their list, and plenty of room to talk about your work. The episodes are even laid out better, you get a MUCH bigger preview space to work with and they’re nice and big on the bottom half of the page:

you know, like they’re actually presenting ART lmfao.

That’s already an ENORMOUS improvement, but here’s my favorite thing.

o hm that’s a lot of super cushy settings I have for every individual episode, but what’s that, Episode Type?

LIKE.

listen, i know this is probably a bit specialized if you’re not a comic maker yourself, but this is a HUGE DEAL. You can post vertically OR page by page! You can even post pages two at a time for double page spreads, or so they read like a physical comic book! AND their specs are really open, as long as the file meets the size requirement you can make it whatever shape you want. You don’t have to reformat all your shit to post here!! I posted the entire first volume of KC STRAIGHT FROM THE PRINT FILES in like half an hour!!! The episodes can also be any amount of pages, you can post a single page or an entire chapter all in one go!

So that’s just the project page for the comic, let’s see what happens when I click on my username there.

Each author gets their own unique page (which you can tack a vanity url to!) to present themselves however they want! You always have the banner at the top, but beyond that you have a ton of options. Among other incredibly useful tools that really should just be bare fucking minimum at this point, like the ability to preview your page on different devices, you start customizing your blank page with this set of widgets,

and from THERE you can customize them MORE, you can promote your patreon or your kickstarter or whatever! Having this creator space ALSO means that if you run several comics, or if you want to promote your comic AND your illustrations, you can just separate them into individual projects! Each with their own page! This is also really nice as a reader because you can subscribe to a creator but you can also just subscribe to specific projects, if you don’t want to get ALL of their stuff in your inbox. It’s so good y’all hh.

Once again, all of this functionality is just THERE as soon as you make your account. You don’t need to be “partnered” or whatever the fuck, you don’t need to meet a certain follower threshold to unlock the ability to operate normally. You get your own creator space to present yourself how you prefer, you get pages for all your projects, you can even set up monetization options (and change them for individual pages IN a project) right from the start.

ok ok let’s compare this to my webtoon page

oh that’s right webtoon just puts your greyed out name at the bottom of each comic and that’s it because human beings don’t make this stuff, my bad lol anyway

Other fun shit that Dillyhub does that makes me feel like they’re people who have actually consumed or made comics on the internet at some point in their lives:

-When you log into the “studio” space, you’re in your creator account. When you log OUT of the studio space, it’s like you swap to a “reader” account, where you can access your pull list and comment on things with a different name and profile icon. Again, maybe only cool if you’re a creator, but if you ARE then you know exactly why this is incredibly useful lmao

-You can set up “hidden” projects, so if you only want certain things to be accessible by certain people or to not show up in searches that’s an option! You have SO much control here it’s great.

-The comment section has moderation options GODDD. You also have a real comment space, you know, so it actually encourages building a community (and a rapport with your community, if you like), and you also can just turn comments off entirely if you want! I haven’t used it much yet, obviously, but it’s been made very clear in the discord that artists want better control over their comment sections and the devs have it on their priority list.

-Absolutely every step of customization gives you a preview before it’s live, so you can easily see what these images you’re posting in different places are going to look like before you beam them to your followers’ inboxes. This includes individual episodes!

-This was sort of in one of the screenshots but it’s important so I’m saying it here too: the option to mark individual episodes as mature or with content warnings, rather than having to mark an entire comic as Mature Spooky Scary Content because of one or two pages getting a bit hairy.

This site is only in alpha right now, and it’s invite-only until they get to beta (for creators; anyone can make a reader account! but they haven’t set up a way to browse comics without direct links yet so) but honest to god it’s already blowing every other site I’ve used clean out of the water. And the staff has been really kind and responsive to us proposing fixes or changes! I will always defend individual websites as being the best option for an indie comic, but everybody’s gotta start somewhere and we NEED something that isn’t Tumblr or Webtoon to fill this role; this site feels a lot more like a symbiotic relationship than any of the other staples available for new creators right now. If you’re a comic reader and you want to see your favorite comics on Dillyhub I’d suggest keeping an eye on this site and once it’s live start poking them to look into it, and if you’re a creator follow their social media and hop in when they open up for anybody to join. I would LOVE to see this site take off as a viable option for hosting and reading comics.

Thanks for reading all this! I haven’t quite finished setting up yet, but if you want to poke around a project/creator page for yourself mine is here have at it. As things progress I’m sure I’ll have more to say, but since I’m usually so aggressively negative about places like this I just wanted to give some credit where it was due. fucking finally.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

/s

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous 

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous