#i love your dreams ur brain is huge thank her for me

[banes-favourite]

I had the weirdest idea when I was half asleep. Gortash gets turned into a baby. Not regression, I mean physically and mentally transformed into a baby. And Durge having to care for him until the spell or whatever wears off.

And baby Enver just being the cutest and cuddliest little thing.

And chubby. He is definitely a chubby baby with the squishiest cheeks ever.

i am so not normal about this trope because it is the cutest thing to me. Enver would be the bubbliest, chubbiest, happiest baby EVER. He has the softest black head of curls and the most round, light green eyes that catch every single reflection of light and the tiniest little button nose that you wanna squeeze and just UGH. He'd be so good too!! He'd cling onto Durge and babble happily up at him, catch his much bigger claw and chew on it.... He doesn't even cry until he's put down because he wants to feel safe and warm...

and durge hasn't held a baby properly before without the intent of eating it so I can totally see him dangling Enver by the foot until he realises how he's meant to be carried.

[norris55s]

a little party never killed nobody - lando norris

best friend(?) party girl reader x lando norris social media au

a/n: idk this is a brain dump of the feminine urge to party with lando in atrocious ways! this will include obscene amounts implied and photographed alcohol consumption so if ur uncomfy with that, i’d skip this one! fc is alix earle!

--------------------------------- Australia

landonorris

landonorris: straya points and the official inaugural party host, y/nusername

y/nusername

y/nusername: gday mate 🇦🇺🦘

danielricciardo: Never underestimating you again, the hangover on that plane was miserable

georgerussell63: I told you she’s a bloody party animal

y/nusername: that was pretty tame ngl

oscarpiastri: I was right, not joining was a better idea

y/nusername: u just hate fun

landonorris: feels like the season finally started

y/nusername: bring it on

daniel3.jpg

daniel3.jpg: Melbourne introduced me to the Y/N and Lando party world

--------------------------------- Japan

landonorris

landonorris: podiums make me so happy i start singing

y/nusername: i feel like you’re better at karaoke than at racing

landonorris: changing careers fr

yukitsunoda0511: Please don’t

y/nusername

y/nusername: jpop is awesome 🇯🇵

yukitsunoda0511: you're welcome

y/nusername: yuki san you are my idol

--------------------------------- Miami

y/nusername

y/nusername: in miami, bitch 🇺🇸

landonorris: not like my podium mattered or anything

y/nusername: baby girl i bought you your champagne bottles at the club as a congratulatory gift

maxfewtrell: She's right baby girl

landonorris

landonorris: good timessss lfg miami

oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri: Miami was extremely good to us!

y/nusername: when will u let me throw u a party pookie

oscarpiastri: I think the wise answer is never

y/nusername: but it’s FUN and you should celebrate your podiums!

georgerussell63: Do not trust her, you will have a week long hangover

y/nusername: it’s been a YEAR let it go 😭

--------------------------------- Monaco

y/nusername

y/nusername: my best friend is a formula 1 grand prix winner and i’ve never been drunker (or happier). i fucking love monaco 🇲🇨

landonorris: 🧡

carlossainz55: I think I’m still drunk 🥶

maxverstappen1: same

oscarpiastri: same

landonorris

landonorris: last weekend dump. it was a dream come true (and i’m still drunk too)

y/nusername: now that we got your win out of the way, charles_leclerc monaco win when

charles_leclerc: I'm trying

y/nusername has posted her stories

--------------------------------- Spain

lando.jpg

lando.jpg: great weekend, could get used to winning and partying with them

y/nusername: vamos!

carlossainz55: 😛

y/nusername

y/nusername: bailando (bye-lando?)💃🏽 🇪🇸

landonorris: u couldn't have picked a better photo

y/nusername: i was barely able to walk, no

carlossainz55: Looking good!

y/nusername: i'm inclined to believe you're saying you look good, to which i would agree

landonorris: what

y/nusername has added to her stories

--------------------------------- UK

landonorris

landonorris: home gp win. it doesn’t get better than this.

y/nusername: i love you so much winner!!!!!! (fuck u for that photo!!!!!)

lewishamilton: Huge congratuations!

y/nusername: good times innit 🇬🇧

georgerussell63: I will never, ever be bullied into going out with you ever again

y/nusername: ...as i said, good times innit

landonorris: how come george and fernando get that picture and i look like a kpop idol

y/nusername: cause ur my baby girl fr

landonorris: what

fernandoalonso: Too old for this craziness, but thanks again!

y/nusername: what do you mean you were the life of the party!!!

y/nusername has added to her stories

--------------------------------- Netherlands

y/nusername

y/nusername: you think i’m crazy? you should meet maxverstappen1 three jägerbombs in. 🇳🇱

maxverstappen1: Let me tell you that you on five jägerbombs was worse, but you wouldn't remember.

landonorris: she’s like that without the alcohol too

y/nusername: wow okay drag me!

y/nusername has added to her stories

--------------------------------- Mexico

y/nusername: viva el tequila y viva méxico 🇲🇽

sergioperez: Respect!

y/nusername: i promise i don't down tequila like water all the time, i can also appreciate the flavor!

landonorris: she's lying

patriciooward: Can I join you next time?

y/nusername: you can join me any time!

patriciooward: Tonight any good?

landonorris: once again what

patriciooward has added to his stories

--------------------------------- Brazil

y/nusername: eu te amo 🇧🇷

carlossainz55: 😍

patriciooward: 🔥

landonorris: i am once again asking... what?

--------------------------------- Las Vegas

y/nusername: i girlbossed too close to the sun this time but a drunk fake wedding doesn't represent us as people 🇺🇸

user65: you are absolutely kidding THEY DID NOT GET MARRIED

oscarpiastri: Oh Jesus Christ pick up the phone

carlossainz55: Thanks for the invite!

maxverstappen1: That's a way to make controversy

user24: fuck a las vegas win, lando finally bagged the girl

user43: lando to carlos and pato: fuck around and find out

landonorris has added to his stories

--------------------------------- Abu Dhabi

y/nusername: season is over but we’ll be back (no accidental weddings this time) 🇦🇪

landonorris: could you stop posting on ig and come say what you want to eat

user52: cant you see the man loves you why did you unmarry him and say you're not marrying him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oscarpiastri: Don't make promises you cant keep

user 75: HELLO?

user 19: OSCAR?

[barrenclan]

running at full speed into ur ask box

wow!! what a heavy way to start off the chapter, and making the creature the thumbnail(?) for the issue helps fuel the idea of the scene being trapped in pinepaw’s mind, in my opinion at least. pinepaw being unable to run also is very relatable in a dream sense, i’ve had dreams before where i couldn’t run no matter how hard i tried.

also, i love it being asphodelpaw instead of daffodilpaw or cormorantpaw or anyone. not because i think she deserves it, ew, but it really helps set up the issue. in all of their interactions asphodelpaw has anyways said something or other to him that got under his fur, but it being her really struck with me as this is proof that he really cares about her despite all she’s done against him, and this is added to when after their conversation he’s left with a lingering, wishful feeling for them to be happily talking more often.

it’s been discussed before if asphodelpaw’s personality has been somewhat shaped by plumstripe, but i feel like this issue expands on that greatly. asphodelpaw seeks validation for her mentor, and if warping her personality to be a bit rude is enough to get a chuckle from plumstripe, that’s a win in her book. i feel like the apprentice who asked to be friendly friendly with the prey she was hunting to try to trick it is far different from the current asphodelpaw. plumstripe has a cool, confident personality, she sees herself as a great fighter, and she probably feels that if asphodelpaw isn’t great too that would ruin her reputation, though i could easily just be overanalyzing.

Welcoming you into my ask box <3

Not being able to run in dreams, or at least having that like, "you can move but you can't get anywhere" feeling is something I feel like doesn't get mentioned in dreams but I experience often. Especially in nightmares, where your brain just gets stuck on a loop and you can't escape whatever is happening to you.

Pinepaw and Asphodelpaw may be at odds but they're still siblings... :( They care for each other but just are not able to show it, and the pressures from their Clan and mentors make it harder.

Asphodelpaw is hugely shaped by her mentor, like all kids would be if given a permanent teacher! (Loud cough in Warriors' direction) It's especially potent because Plumstripe is such a try-hard who thinks she's extremely cool and is purposefully using Asphodelpaw to show off to Beeface. I had this quote in Issue 3 about Asphodelpaw which definitely does show that although her and Pinepaw always fought a bit, it was never so toxic like it is now:

"When we were kits, she and I got on fine. I mean, we weren’t best friends, but it was never like this."

Thanks as always for commenting :]

[jiminrings]

Hiiii jiminrings aka one of my favorite authors everrr aka supreme ruler of angst and pathetic, sniveling men! I must say I've never read angst quite as cutting as yours, blood running cold, jaw hanging open, you know the type. Thanks so much for sharing your creativity and time with us!!! I really mean it.

I've read some of your previous works, but fail safe has managed to hit different, and that's very hard considering hbjimin!!!!!! and 478jk!!!! (Ik I'm echoing a popular sentiment on here, but you deserve your flowers)

I need to confess that when I first started reading fail safe I felt so taken aback by your oc's characterization, to the point I didn't even like her. But halfway through the first part, I had a big, fat epiphany and realized the only reason I felt unsympathetic towards here was because (SHOCKER!) that's my twin lowkey 😭😭 I was like oh....... so this is how it feels like to have a mirror held up to your face 😂🫵

Even though I've always grown up as a pretty responsible, independent kid who had big dreams and a sense of passion I'm currently at a point in my life where I feel very lost and confused and unsatisfied with my life. I have felt that spark of fashion almost totally dampened, and as a result I feel like (some of) the people around me kinda look down on me a little / are very worried about my near future / are very condescending about where I'm at emotionally and existentialist (basically oc and yoongi's dynamic). Making that connection.... hurt and made reading this fic so much more emotional.

This means I have a HUGE VENDETTA AGAINST FS YOONGI FOR TREATING OC LIKE SHIT AND BEING A CONDESCENDING, PEDANTIC ASSHOLE!!!!! He's borderline demonic, talking to her life that throughout her teen hood, no wonder she has such a negative self-image, in spite of working to build herself up. But the issue is that she's working from such a shaky foundation and she hasn't healed one bit 🥺 kinda feel she's self medicating through her work (like yoongi maybe but I don't care about his bum ass). She's in a very unfair position cause she doesn't have anyone in here corner in terms of like her immediate family circle (except for her mom but she can't talk about it with her cause it will break her heart knowing yoongi has always been like that to her 🥺- like seriously what is his issue???? did he flip on oc cause he has unresolved romantic feelings that he couldn't act on cause of 1. age gap and 2. Namjoon). Speaking on Namjoon, WHAT AN ASS!!!! He gave me ptsd to all the times my brothers chose to be insensitive towards me and not stick up for me.

Overall, there are so many mixed feelings. I understand her still having a complex with yoongi cause there's too many unresolved issues and hurt feelings that have been repressed for too long and that just keeps her on a cycle instead of allowing her to fully let go. So I don't judge her for it cause I've been there, done that.

I'm sooo excited for what's to come. I'm looking forward to the mysteries being revealed (my prediction for second lead is mr. kim taehyung himself), gut-wrenching lines courtesy of your lovely brain, and oc development! I'm ready to scream, cry, run around, jump off a cliff, swim in circles ❤️

I apologize in advance for the long ask. Also, star emoji anon, you're a legend lmao

ok first of all thank u second i love yew n third u don’t know how much this means to me!!!! fs yoongi is rlly up there with his predecessors (hbjm and 478jk) and for him to be the superlative of something (derogatory),,, that rlly says something!! i won’t ever get tired of thanking sweet sweet people like you and ur flowers <3 if i could digest them i already would’ve . STOPPPPP U R LITERALLY TWINS !!!! triplets if u count me n quadruplets if u account for all the other anons that had fs resonate w them!!! i feel you So So much bc we r almost exactly the same!!! being ambitious as a child (i’m the youngest if u couldn’t tell… womp womp) without no clear picture of what you want to be, then turning into someone who has no actual passion at all except for the desire to live a good n secure life… whew!!! thank god i only have irl yoongi on my side though and NOT fs yoongi bc that would’ve been really something 😑😑😑 thank u thank yewwww i actually love it whenever people tell me they have mixed feelings bc oh my god yer telling me that i made you think really hard???? THANK U SO SO MUCH AGAIN!!! never apologize for long asks bc i love them a lot and star emoji anon rlly is a legend n i can confirm that!! LOVE YEWWWWWWW

[straighttohellbuddy]

HELLO SO THAT FIC U POSTED???? CHANGED ME FOREVER. I relate to that other anon deeply my brain chemistry will never be the same. it frankly hasn't been the same since the fic was just snippets you posted abt once in a while and now it's posted and it's A 25K DELIGHT AND I JUST---- *SCREAMS**SQUEALS**CRIES*

I CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW PRESENT IT'S BEEN IN MY MIND SINCE FOREVER KQMCLWKFS I'm dying. reader is great her thing with Wilbur is great I am screaming and crying and Oh My God thank u for sharing it w us I am. /SCREAMING./

no but genuinely I've been grinning and letting out like. fickin SQUEALS for over an hour kqmflsjxkalck like I'm so glad and happy I got to read it istg. u have SUCH a way with words?????? and characterisation??????? and like. developing relationships hello????????? I am in shambles. every once in a while I return to ur writing bc it's just So Good and now I got to do it thru this fic I've been excited for for the last????? TWO YEARS I THINK. idk how long it's been but it's been A WHILE so thank u thank u thank u thank u not only did it live up to my expectations it also absolutely went over them. thank u genuinely you've made my past two years pretty much. for the last however long there hasn't been a week in which I haven't thought abt reader and Q's interaction (the snippet of ‘this is how it started the last time’) for at least an hour straight genuinely like. and haVING CONTEXT??????

anyway basically this is like a huge thing for me and I just thought I'd tell u that😭💕 like I hope u know your writing has been v important to me for a while, from what you love you devour to like. everything kinda but wylyd just struck a chord w me if that makes sense lmao and like. I would've totally gotten it if you'd lost interest but I'm glad u didn't and decided to share that absolutely amazing fic💕💕

(*25K*!!!! oh my god!!!!! I wasn't before either, but now I will literally never stop thinking abt it)

((THE GHOSTBUR STUFF WAS SO SWEET)) ((and heartbreaking in the most PERFECT manner)) ((and don't get me STARTED on Dream. and Q. and WILBUR OH MY GOD WILBUR WILBUR WILBUR WILBUR-------))))))(and reader oh my god reader I will never shut up about reader)

I'm gonna rotate your message in my head like a microwave dish for the rest of my life I love you so much 💖💖💖 I've been meaning to answer this for days but I wanted to take the time to properly answer it because I'm going to ramble about this fuckin fic I hope you know!!

this fic means so so much to me and I'm so glad that I finally got it published, but also that I ended up publishing it like this, like I definitely could have added more but I think it would have ended up kind of bloated, and it's already such a huge fic 😅😅 the vignette style makes me feel like I'm getting snapshots of the important moments while still getting the sense of the reader having a life between scenes, and the rest of the dsmp plot still going on around them

I mean this so genuinely, WIPS are always In Progress, I never forget a fic, I still reread what I have of my Mafia!Corpse AU from 2019 and wonder what I should add next, same with the other like, 20 drafts I have. 😅😅 I hope they all get published eventually, but I feel very lucky to have come back to this and recognise that it's good enough to put out there ☺️☺️

but OKAY I WANNA TALK ABOUT THE READER'S RELATIONSHIPS WITH ALL THESE FUCKING CHARACTERS BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME YELL !! im making this into it's own post because i literally wrote so much just talking about the reader and dream and i have so much to say about them and Q and WILBUR and i'll tag u xx i LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I LOVE THIS FIC IT STILL MAKES ME FERAL

[kindchenschema]

greys anon back again👋uni was kicking my ass but the semesters over and im caught up now! didn’t really care for the finale/season but i loved reading ur thoughts! im also giving the show an out this season because ik the strike messed things up but how uneven things were made me long for the end tbh😭 bc if this is the writers running on empty it’s kinda embarrassing and cliche and they need to get all the OGs back for s22, give everyone closure and wrap it up on a high note. i need greys to end with dignity lmfao like that’s the bestie

& so is bailey, who was the best part of this episode (saw ur tots about her and simone and although i don’t go there—they had cute tender moments but i rly wanted simone and maggie to smooch last season & im loyal plus ive always been partial to bailey & callie lezzing out together) and amazing in the end. the fact that they’re did all that for lucas tho, laughable—simone needs 2 let that mf go already my god! ik she won’t but im choosing 2 believe they’ll free her next season bc im over it. she’s better than this) as is the fact that lucas is staying and yasuda is leaving. just nasty and cruel and lesbophobic to me specifically. hers and jules’ almost kiss moment was so intimate and convincing i almost looked up fanfic of them but i don’t think there would be any at least not yet. greys non canon lesbian ships are so under-appreciated tbh 1/3 (this is so long sry in advance!)

hey greys anon bestie <3 finally replying to you!! (same here, this one comp sci class i'm taking is like. consuming my life. but in a good way)

aww thank you ^^

girl, i've thought about this SO MUCH like from a writing/showrunning standpoint I have literally no idea how the show could end. imo it has to be some kind of a full circle moment with meredith and ellis and carousels and alzheimers, and probably derek and just as many OGs as they can get to come back. kind of like what they tried to do in season 17, only way less shit. but they would need dempsey&co back for that not to mention ellen (which btw i do not get like is she back or is she not back? wasn't she supposed to leave? like wasn't everyone freaking out that meredith was leaving? So much ado about nothing smh) so i kinda doubt that will happen

it would also be a slay if the last scene of the show is zola visiting meredith in the nursing home (a parallel to meredith and ellis) and meredith has alzheimers but there are photos of derek, lexie, cristina etc beside her bed and zola is telling her how her surgical internship is going and meredith is like "i think i used to be a surgeon once" and zola is like "yes, mom, you were" SDFGHJ or however it went in s1. but ik everyone and their mom has this as their theory for the ending so i doubt it will happen also.

AND something that would be a huge wig in orbit moment is if they already filmed the ending back in 2004 and it's meredith waking up after her one-night-stand with derek in the pilot and it's like woa.. it was just a dream.. and then derek is like hey i'm derek and meredith is like cool can we skip to the part where your wife struts in bc i wanna marry her. which might happen tbh ! we will see 😌

anyway NO I DO NOT WANT IT TO END SOON i need it to get me thru my bachelors at LEAST (which is gonna be a long time bc i'm not the brightest candle on the cake 🤠)

anyway.

Simone and maggie is also intelligent 🙌

omg yes literally after i posted my finale yappings i was like oh shit wait yasuda is leaving 😭 why would they do this to us. i don't super care about them but i like them better than helmika just bec i don't get what helm was trying to do at all, it was funny when she was all about having a crush on meredith (like, same) but she can emigrate to paris with levi now that's ok

i fully block out the fact that simone/lucas is a thing (their scenes are usually my tea breaks tbh) like i feel like my brain isn't entirely processing that info even tho i know it is technically true. i mean simone is a full on dyke in my mind because you expect me not to project onto her? with THOSE mommy issues? when she had that scene with addison in the nicu... i was like 🤔🏳️‍🌈❓ ok now kiss

[aeonian-knoxville]

Biggest Fan [Ehren Mcghehey]

Request: “If ur taking requests I am begging for some Ehren fluff pls ma’am 💗”

This turned out longer than I expected it to but I love this one

aeonian-knoxville’s main m.list

[y/f/n]- your friend’s name

“Steve-O looks so good, I think I’m going to make my move” Your friend said as you two sat at the bar counter. She had dragged you to the bar at almost midnight because she heard the guys from Jackass were in town filming and told you she just knew they would show up, she was right of course because you guys were sitting directly across from them. [y/f/n] swore she had a chance to hook up with at least one of them which at that point you didn’t doubt it because two of them had already wandered off with random girls. You looked at who she was pointing to, “which one is that again?” You asked, studying the guys across from you. You knew of them, as you had seen a bit of their show when you were younger, but you weren't a crazy super fan like your friend.

After their show ended on MTV you didn’t care to keep up with them but you knew [y/f/n] had been waiting for this moment, well since the show had first aired. “He’s the one with his shirt off,” she told you. She took another shot of tequila to calm her nerves, she had already taken two. “Are you seriously doing this?” You asked, shocked at her boldness but then again the alcohol running through her body probably had a lot to do with it. “Yes, it’s now or never” she told you as she hopped off her stool to make her way towards Steve-O.

You watched her walk confidently up to him, she took a seat in his lap which he clearly didn’t mind- he wrapped his arm around her waist, securing her in place. You saw her whispering god knows what in his ear, Steve-O’s face lit up and his mouth turned into a grin and [y/f/n] slid off his lap waiting for him to get up. You couldn’t believe she was actually about to live out her dreams. He grabbed her hand and started to walk with her somewhere, she turned to you with the biggest smile you had ever seen on her face giving you a thumbs up, you laughed and mouthed “have fun”.

You knew there was no point in waiting for her. You decided to finish your drink and then you were going to head out. While you were drinking your lemon drop, a man walked up to the bar counter. He sat down in your [y/f/n]’s abandoned stool and you took a quick glance to see who sat next to you. Your face lit up with shock, it was one of the Jackass members but you couldn’t quite remember his name. “Hey, I’m Ehren” he told you casually. “Hi” you answered back, your brain instantly put two and two together and you knew which one he was.. “I was going to ask if I could buy you a drink but I see you have one, so there goes my plan” He told you truthfully. You looked at the unfinished one sitting in front of you then at him, he seemed interesting.

He was missing a tooth but he was cute. He was wearing a black beanie and a black denim jacket with black jeans. It was basic but you thought he made it work. “Actually I didn’t like it, I would love a drink” you played along with him. He gave you a grin, mentally thanking you and signaled over the bartender he ordered for the both of you then turned his attention back on you. “Was that your friend? The one that left with Steve-O” he asked you. “Yeah, she has a huge crush on all of you guys” you told him. He laughed then asked, “And what about you?” “I’ve seen a little bit of your show but she… she’s a little more extreme, clearly” you laughed too, “I think she may be your guys’ biggest fan” You put a good word in for your absent friend. Your drinks were brought to you two and you thanked him for buying yours.

���Maybe it’s a good and bad thing she left” Ehren told you. “Why’s that?” You raised an eyebrow at him. “Bad because she left a pretty girl alone and good because I got to talk to said pretty girl” he flirted with you. Your face instantly got hot and you looked down at your drink with a shy smile, “Don’t make me blush” you told him giggling. Maybe [y/f/n] was right about being a fangirl, an MTV icon calling you pretty? It felt like you were dreaming, like you were younger again getting butterflies. “It’s true though” He told you, staring at you, taking in your features. “So did you film anything fun today?” You asked quickly to change the subject. “We rode mini mopeds through a grocery store which led to this” he opened his mouth and pointed to where his tooth should have been. “Ah that’s where it went” you started laughing, the alcohol was now making you a bit more relaxed, still trying to take in you were talking to a famous person.

“We’re filming more of mine and Dave’s stunts tomorrow” “Dave’s the one that takes random shits?” You asked Ehren to confirm it was the right one you were thinking of, he let out a loud laugh and said “yeah that’s him”. “ You and your friend should come, you guys can hang out with the crew and watch, my first stunt is scheduled for 11:00” he invited you. Your face lit up with joy, “really?” You asked excitedly. “Yeah, it’ll be fun” He said, writing the address of the filming location and his number on a napkin. The two of you talked for hours getting to know each other, until it was almost time for the bar to close. You liked him, you thought they were going to be stuck up but Ehren was actually really nice and funny. “So you’re coming tomorrow right?” He asked as you two waited outside for the taxi he called for you. “I promise, I’m actually really excited,” you told him truthfully as you looked up to him. The taxi pulled up and opened the door for you, “have a good night. I’ll see you tomorrow” he told you goodbye. “See you” you said not being able to wipe away that big dopey smile on your face

The next day you woke up your best friend, Steve-O nowhere to be found in her room- you wondered what time he left- and told her who invited you where. [y/f/n] had literally dragged you out of the apartment and into her car speeding to the address Ehren had given you. “[y/n] you’re so dramatic I’m not even going that fast” she said as you gripped the dashboard. “I’m scared for my life” you joked, maybe you were being dramatic, but you did feel a bit nervous, what if Ehren didn’t even remember you. “Aren’t you so excited? Now do you see why I love them so much” You were partially listening to your friend talk about all the reasons why she loved each and every member. You two pulled up to a house that had a big loop made out of wood in the front yard and there were a lot of people, some working the cameras and mics, some were fixing the crew’s makeup and others just walking around talking. Some of the main cast was sitting on the grass in front of the loop waiting for the stunt to start.

Ehren saw you guys approaching and ran up to you too, “you made it!” He said in disbelief, he was wearing a bright orange jumpsuit and matching shoes, he also had a blue helmet on. “I told you I would '' You said giving him a side hug, “this is [y/f/n]” you introduced your friend as her eyes were filled with glee taking the set in. “Hi, I’m a big fan” She informed Ehren. Ehren let out a chuckle, “so I’ve heard” he told her, giving her a hug also, “We’re about to start filming, come sit here” You guys followed Ehren to where he had two seats already set up for guys. “Ehren, you ready?” Someone called to Ehren. “Yup!” He gave them a thumbs up. “Enjoy the show” he told you and [y/f/n]. “Good luck” you gave him encouragement. “This is going to be the best day of my life” your best friend told you and you nodded your head in agreement.

“We’re rolling” someone else yelled out. Ehren hopped onto his mini moped and started talking on his cue, “I’m Danger Ehren, here with Thor and this is the mini loop” The bike was started up and Ehren immediately almost crashed into the audience watching him, “he can barely drive it” someone said laughing. “Why am I already nervous for him?” you told your friend as he rode down the middle of the lane. He didn’t even make it half way up the loop before he fell, “fuck!” He yelled out laying on the ground. Ehren and Thor kept taking turns and you winced anytime they got hurt.

Ehren had failed after multiple tries and you thought he had finally gotten through the whole thing but at the last minute he fell with the bike landing on him. Johnny, the main one in the cast, instantly ran up to him but instead of checking on him picked up the bike to inspect it “all good” he said as the guys erupted in laughter, your friend laughing too. Ehren looked at you sheepishly and you gave him a warm smile. In a weird way you thought he looked hot. Their guest, Thor, finally accomplished the loop and they all started cheering for him, the guys ran up to him and Ehren. “After this movie you’re going to totally lose your virginity” One of Ehren’s friends told him, you stifled a laugh. “I don’t think guys count, Chris” he played along with Chris’ joke.

“I can’t believe you enjoy watching them get hurt” you told [y/f/n] as you guys got up to grab water from the ice chest they had on set. You were shocked at how Ehren just recovered from his falls like nothing. “It’s funny” she shrugged, before you guys could keep talking Steve-O came up to you guys “Can I borrow her for a minute” he asked pointing to [y/f/n]. Your best friend looked at you like if she needed permission, “go ahead” you said not surprised she was going to leave you again. You didn’t even see where they went but you were left alone and once again Ehren came to save you from loneliness.

“Is your head okay?” You asked him, knowing he had to be in pain. He knocked on his helmet “I should be good” he reassured you. “How did I do up there?” He asked for your feedback. “Honestly you looked really good” You must have soaked up some of your friend’s boldness from the night before because the words even surprised you. “You liked it?” He asked, smirking. “Yeah, I really did,” you answered him. Ehren stepped closer to you, his smirk still on your face.

How could you have never paid attention to them all the time [y/f/n] had talked about them. The two of you stood close together faces centimeters apart, “Is it weird that I really like even though we just met?” he asked nervous for your answer. You shook your head, “no, because I really like you too” you hoped he would close the gap between the two of you and as if he had read your mind. He leaned his head lower and you lifted yours up until your lips met his. The kids were sweet, it was filled with passion and his hands on your waist and your arms draped around your neck; the both of you holding each other close. He was the one to break the kiss, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I even told Dave I was nervous you were going to change your mind”. “I promised you didn’t i?” you said giving him a quick kiss to his lips, he smiled looking down at you as you guys were still holding each other.

“Wow Ehren, kissing on the first date already, are you?” Johnny came up to the two of you, teasing you guys. “Hey you showed up! I had to hear him all night talking about how he needed to see you again” Dave also came up, Ehren turned red from the words that were coming out of both his friends' mouths. “Are my eyes working right? There’s a girl in Ehren’s arms and a pretty one” Chris said joining you guys, “you are?” Chris asked for your name. You let go of Ehren to shake his friends hands, “I’m [y/n], his biggest fan”

[kingreywrites]

hopefully u don’t mind that I ask the same.. but the new Dream proposals?? I’d like to hear ur thoughts!! :))

Your opinion on _____?

I absolutely don't mind, there's like 70% of my brain devoted to the proposals always, and that's why this post is so long ghdhdhd apologies for that but i love them ur honour 😭💖

1st proposal: (BEA)

my beloved <3 ghdjdkd i know it's controversial but i just. feel like it's such well done conflict, that it could have been written so wrong for so many reasons but was SO well done and i actually love thinking about it. Honestly, this moment is kinda new dream's lowest point in the series, the one moment when their deep love for each other isn't enough to make them be on the same page, and the one moment when the "fairy tale" kinda stops and they really start building their relationship together and I!! LOVE THAT!! I also love how it all came to this, how their own issues made this possible (Rapunzel who has been raised to cater to someone else's happiness at her own personal cost all her life just cannot bring herself to admit anything about how she feels because Eugene is happy and she wants to keep it that way; Eugene who's given everything he could have wanted and more, and has his own abandonment issues to work through, just trying to secure this because he wants them both to be happy and he's scared that it won't last, and, in doing that, missing the discomfort Rapunzel is herself hiding.... that is very good conflict okay)

AND i also very very much love how it was resolved within the episode. We always say new dream is a very healthy relationship, and it's true but like it's the most obvious exactly when things are going wrong between them! They can communicate when they're happy and nothing is happening, but that proposal shows that even when there is a serious conflict between them, even when they actually did not manage to communicate well and Eugene fucked up and put Rapunzel in a tough spot, THEY ARE STILL ABLE TO TALK IT OUT, APOLOGIZE AND ACTIVELY WORK ON THEMSELVES TO MAKE SURE THIS WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN. Sorry for the caps but holy shit. Eugene's apology at the end is such an amazing scene because he acknowledges what he did wrong, he apologises, he also stops rapunzel from apologising because he knows it's not her fault, and then he admits that he still needs to work on himself to understand what went wrong, that not everything is magically fixed because he said sorry, and he tells her exactly what course of action he's gonna take and i just ghdjdk THE FACT THAT THIS PROPOSAL CAN BE USED AS ANTI NEW DREAM BY SOME PEOPLE WHEN IT EXACTLY SHOWS HOW AND WHY THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS ABLE TO WORK EVEN AT ITS LOWEST POINT DRIVES ME CRAZY

(i think about the first proposal a normal amount I swear ghdjdkd anyway onto the others)

Second proposal: (1st one in BTCW)

literally the funniest one because like

Eugene: i was one of the best thieves in the world, master of lying and deceiving people

Rapunzel: did you just say... marry me?

Eugene:

Eugene: Larryme. i said Larryme, the name of... my fake old dog

1/10, worst save i have ever seen, he gets a pity point because i like him and the name Larryme is hilarious i wanna meet this dog

ghdhdkd joking aside it's always funny to see this one brought up as him making an ill-timed proposal again when like, the man didn't even get to try it fgdjdjdk the way it was going, i can definitely see him put off the proposal because lance and hookfoot's advice got to him, but i at least know for sure he wouldn't have done it like that in the caravan 😔

3rd proposal: (end of BTCW)

WHY IS THIS ONE FORGOTTEN ABOUT SO MUCH IT'S A HUGE TURNING POINT IN THAT WHOLE ARC and like!! Eugene is right in that they are very much not in the right time or place to get married, and though he sorta misses Rapunzel's eagerness it's actually a good thing he makes sure they're not rushing this because she's still worried of losing him (he's literally keeping his promise of being patient with her but also he makes sure she's patient with herself too!!) BUT. But, from that point, from literally the first episode of the second season and onward, it's established that Rapunzel wants to get married with Eugene, they both do, and they are on the same page about it. It's not a nebulous distant future in Rapunzel's mind anymore, it's not an anxiety-fueled desire to protect their love for Eugene, they just. do want to get married because they love each other and want to live that together. I cannot stress enough how !!!!!!!!! i am about that asfgsjfj so like a very good proposal, highlighting that they can take their time together which is very good very wholesome

3rd and a half proposal: the Tromus One (rapunzeltopia)

Does this one count? ghdgdh my guy tromus really said the only way to keep her into the perfect dream version of her world where she is completely happy is to make sure she's with eugene 💖 we thank him for that and for the parents au and for the demon au too fgjdhdhf i gotta say, I like how it also highlights how much Eugene has changed and how their relationship is much more solid now. Like, genuinely, after all they went through, Eugene wouldn't propose like that to her anymore, and he also showed that he's ready to say no to make sure that she has the space to discover herself and be certain of her choice. Also I like this proposal because the joy on Eugene's face when she says yes is very cute okay I KNOW IT'S A DEMON BUT IT'S ALSO MY BOY

4th proposal: (Cassandra's Revenge)

ASGSGDHDJDHDHDJJHLSDGSDSG I LITERALLY WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THE GIRL WHO HAS EVERYTHING REPRISE. NEVER EVER I GENUINELY FEELS GIDDY LISTENING TO IT EVEN NOW AND THEN WHEN SHE PROPOSED AND HE WAS LIKE "FOR ME?" AND IT WAS THE SOFTEST THING IN THE WORLD I DIED

i'm also so happy rapunzel got to try to propose a second time because hell yes she would and like i'm glad it wasn't ever questionned and that eugene got to be over the moon because she oves him just as much as he does and !!!!!!! FLUFFY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS WHERE BOTH PEOPLE WOULD DO ANYTHING TO MAKE THE OTHER ONE HAPPY ARE ALL I WANT IN LIFE ACTUALLY

5th and final one: THE proposal :')

It's literally perfect what can I even say ghdhdh like. the dialogue? Eugene reminding her of his promise, making sure she knows it's a choice, us seeing how far they've come together since the beginning and how it's literally the next natural step for them instead of a tacked on "happy ending" thing?? The sheer emotion and happiness in their voices and their expressions, the intimacy, the gorgeous bi flag sky behind them, the parallel to I see the light, THE EVERYTHING?? this proposal is the best proposal to ever proposal, no one is doing it like them

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Truly Yours

Summary: Moving to Korea from China had to be the hardest thing Yanan ever had to do. But if you love something and it comes back it was truly yours. If it never does it never truly was.

Do or Not Series

Little sad ends happy

Word Count: 1,517

Yanan X Reader

Requested: Hello could i request a yanan imagine where he is your ex and still pining, but you guys haven't seen each other in years? I leave ur imagination for the rest, as long as it's a fluff happy ending ((((: thank u xx

--

Some days are rougher than others when you sit only a few feet away from him. So beautiful yet so unaware of it, he hasn’t seen you in years. But every time he sees you, whether it's a picture frame or in person, it’s like his heart stops, and he’s a whole new man. You haven’t noticed him yet, and that's what he’s counting on. He hides behind the newspaper, peeking out every so often to see the way you laugh at what your friends say. How he wishes to make you laugh like that again, but as far as he knows, he’s the only one who still has feelings for you. It’s been four years, yet he can’t get over you.

It wasn’t a bad ending to a relationship, but it wasn’t great. Ending something with someone you love is something you never wish to do. Yet, it had to happen you both had separate dreams, yours in China and his in Korea. It broke his heart into a million pieces to leave you, but it was for the better. While you two would have remained loyal to each other. You two were still young and deserved to explore and learn more about yourselves. It doesn’t mean that the heartbreak didn’t hurt, but it was for the better, so you guys didn’t hurt each other.

He has changed a lot since then he followed his dream of being a singer in Korea. Grew more into his features and learned that he still loved you. Yet he had no way of contacting you when he moved he lost all of his connections. He changed his number and sacrificed most of his friendships for the idol life. It was grueling and miserable, but he did whatever it took to follow his dream. And to see you here in Seoul, he couldn’t help but feel his whole world come spinning to a halt. But how does he approach you now, and how long have you been here? But most importantly, were you here because you wanted him too?

--[Your pov]--

It’s been four years, and my mind has never once stopped thinking about my ex-lover, Yanan. Sometimes it is subtle, like our song playing on the radio or seeing someone his height. Leaving me breathless, and sometimes I would have to pause and do a double-take. And then when I started seeing him perform on TVs inside window fronts. The love I felt for him rushes back full force. When I figured out what group he was in, I became a huge supporter. Buying albums and merch, proudly showing my bias Yanan, how could you not bias Yanan. My best friend, giggling at me whenever I wear things with his name on them and how my heart still belongs to him.

We started dating in our senior year before, that we were just neighbors. We would walk to school and home together and talk about miscellaneous things. Introducing each other to different artists, sharing earbuds as we walked together. It wasn’t hard to fall for him; he was always so kind, honest, and cute. I miss him bursting out into laughter at something one of our mutual friends would say. Or if I was lucky something I said or those quiet moments,... Where we would be listening to music in my treehouse and thinking about the future.

It would be in that very treehouse where he would tell me that he was, finally, going to move to South Korea to pursue his dream of being an idol. We both cried and wiped each other’s tears before I encouraged him to go and follow his dreams. Who was I to hold him back from his dreams? If you love someone, you set them free you let them be their own person. Let them find themselves, and then if you’re lucky, you’ll find each other again and fall in love all over again.

Those three years we dated were the best years of my life. The highlight, because he was there to experience those years with me. So when the opportunity arrived that I could move to South Korea and still work at my dream job, I seized it without a second thought because it meant that I had a chance of seeing Yanan again. I wasn’t going to pass that up for the world. My parents and friends were sad to see me go, but they knew why and held me before I left. I promised to keep in contact and video chat whenever I had the chance. I wonder if, after all these years, he still feels the same. But alas, even if he doesn't, maybe we can be in contact again at least? That would ease my heartache a little.

--

It took me a month to finally settle, and I finally have a few friends in this new place. Who knew making new friends is a lot harder than it portrays on tv? We are going to a cafe for some coffee before we head to our separate jobs. Well, today I’m off, so I’ll be taking more things out of boxes to settle more into my new apartment. After meeting up with my friends, Yuqi and Kun. They make my day since we can speak to each other in a mixture of Chinese and Korean together. We arrive together and order our coffee and get a few pastries. We are sitting down and chatting when I notice someone reading a newspaper. Who does that nowadays? I roll my eyes, but something in my brain is hitting me over the head. Telling me that person feels familiar, but I don’t know anyone in Korea. I let it leave my brain and enjoy my friend's company. “--Then Minnie tells me I was the one snoring!” I can’t help but laugh, “Well, do you snore?” Kun asks, and she rolls her eyes, “That’s not the point--” I smirk, “It most certainly is a part of it.” She groans, “Why am I friends with you guys?!” We shrug, “Just lucky I guess,...” I trail off when I notice Newspaper get up. When they put the newspaper down, my jaw hits the floor. And I’m holding onto the table to keep myself from falling out of my chair.

Yuqi smirks, noticing she can deflect the teasing onto me, “Cutie at 11 O’Clock~.” Kun gasps and whispers, “That’s not any cutie,... that’s Yanan from Pentagon--.” I shake my head and barely can get out the words, “I know.” Before he approaches and says, “(Y/n)?” I nod and gulp Yugi whispers, “You know him?” I nod and she goes, “Why didn’t you introduce us earlier--” I cut her off, “Yanan, it’s nice to see you again.” He smiles, and my heart nearly pops out of my chest. He rubs the back of his neck, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but do you mind if I talk to you?” I shake my head ‘no’ and shake off the nerves my brain set aflame. I leave my drink at the table and whisper as I follow him out, “I’ll tell you guys later.”

--

“I can’t believe you’re here,...” He says barely above a whisper, and I look him in the eyes for the first time in four years. “I can’t believe I’m seeing you again.” He nods, “Why are you here?” I tell him about how my job offered me a transfer and how I couldn’t refuse because I knew he’d be there. Our cheeks are red, and I wish to say it was from the cold, but it’s a nice warm spring day. I whisper loud enough for him to hear, “I missed you, Yanan.” He grins and chuckles, and my heart ignites, “I missed you too, (Y/n).” I scratch the back of my neck and say, “Would it be too soon to say I still love you?” He shakes his head, “No,... I’m in love with you too. I’m so glad you’re here.” He pulls me into his arms, and I feel comforted instantly.

We walk back in together, hand and hand. And introduce our relationship to them with bright smiles adorning our faces. We sit across from each other while we still engage in conversation. We’re busy staring into each other’s eyes, getting lost all over again. “The company will need me in about ten, so I’ll see you three later?” Yuqi asks, and the three of us nod and before she gets far. Kun tells her to wait up so they can walk to their respective companies. They yell, “Toodles, love birds!” We laugh, and we stay like that, exchanging small talk.

--

And that’s how it starts all over again, back in each other’s arms. This time never letting go, knowing this is what you truly want and need. For if you love something and it comes back to you, it is truly yours. Outside of his practice room is where we share our second ‘first’ kiss. “I love you, (Y/n).” Not a beat later, “I love you too, Yanan.”

[kakakakashi]

Haiii could I plz request a gaara fluff where ur from the hidden leaf but best friends with konkuro and have been trying to get close to gaara for so long but moody gaara refuses to warm up and the sand also gets in the way? I've just got to the sai arc in shippeden plz no spoilers.

Okay, first thing’s first. Don’t worry, dude. I’m only on episode 155, (and I’ve been putting off because I’m almost at Pain vs. Kakashi, and I AM NOT READYYYYYY!!!) so I think I’m mostly spoiler free about Gaara. Besides, I like to think this would take place between Naruto & Naruto Shippuden.

Next thing, I’m sorry. I am so so so sorry. Everyone’s got a crush on Gaara… but I don’t. I know, there’s something wrong with me! I tried my best, but if this is bad, please have him throw sand in my face. He only deserves the best. I love him & his sibs.

Lastly, omg! Girl, I LOVE that arc! I love Sai & I love Yamato. Their introduction is so funny. Like, they’re sassy little shits. They are great. You’re gonna love them… I hope at least. If not, that’s cool too. Anyway, have some sand baby.

Oh, also, I made you friends with Shikamaru too because you’re bros who travel to & from Suna to see your baes. Don’t worry, Kank is still your bestie, though. In this house, we love puppet asshole!

-

The outline of Suna shone brightly against the blue skies of spring. With Shikamaru by your side, you casually chatted about the days to come.

“So, when are you gonna ask her out?” you poked at him with a teasing smirk on your face.

Shikamaru’s cheeks flushed a slight pink, but he quickly grumbled, “What’re you even talking about Y/N?”

Picking up your pace, so you were just a step or two before him. You chuckled to yourself, “Nothing, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“You’re no better,” he grumbled.

That shut you up.

Sure, you’d liked Gaara for a while, but he wasn’t into you. If anything, he tried to spend as little time with you as possible. Sometimes, it made your heart ache, but it wasn’t like you could do anything. After all, his brother was your best friend. Retreating into your own thoughts, the rest of the trip to Suna was silent. Well, until you saw an all-black outline with a face painted purple.

Kankuro leaned against the main entrance, talking with one of the watch shinobi while he waited for your arrival. When you were close enough to him, you threw a huge smile his way with a theatrical wave.

“Y/N!” Kankuro called, speedily walking to meet you in a bear hug. “What took you so long? Got lost?”

You shoved him off of you with a laugh. “Oh, shut up. You take twice as long whenever you come to the Leaf.”

He rolled his eyes at your antics before he greeted Shikamaru. Then he gestured for you to follow him into the village and to the Kazekage’s office.

While you walked, Kankuro and you caught up while Shikamaru mostly just laughed at your combined tomfoolery. When you got to the building, your stomach began fluttering nervously.

After finding the main office of the Kazekage, Kankuro rapped two knocks on the door before twisting the knob open. Behind his desk stood Gaara looking as handsome as ever while he glanced over some official document.

His aquamarine eyes seemed a lot livelier since the last time you saw him, and the slight observation made you smile to yourself. He turned towards the sound of your entrance when Kankuro announced, “Guess who’s here!”

“Shikamaru. Y/N.” He greeted you with a polite tint to his voice, “How was your trip?”

“Long,” you joked with him, immediately walking around his desk to embrace him in a hug as well.

However, a coarse wall halted your body just a foot away from him. You glanced down at his small wall of sand before you noticed his blushing cheeks.

Before you could laugh it off, Gaara sputtered out, “Shikamaru! Why don’t I show you to where you’ll be analyzing those documents? Kankuro, would you mind showing Y/N where she’ll be working for the duration of her stay?”

Kankuro and Shikamaru stood, slightly taken aback by what just happened. Although, Gaara was already out the door, waiting for Shikamaru to follow him.

“Um, sure?” Kankuro said to nobody, mostly to make a joke.

Pointing to the doorway while he exited, Shikamaru left. “I guess that’s my cue. I’ll catch you later, guys.”

Now, it was just you and your best friend standing in the office.

“Well,” you were the first to speak, “That just happened.”

You’d felt slightly embarrassed at what just happened, but mostly, you felt a bit crushed. Noticing this, Kankuro decided it was best to move on. “Come on,” he nodded to the door while he started strolling out of the office, “I’ll show you where you’re at.”

You followed him, asking him if you were crazy for liking his brother. You’d had a pathetic crush on him since you met him after the alliance, and you felt like you were going nowhere. However, Kankuro disagreed.

When you entered the room you’d be working in, Kankuro confessed, “Trust me, Y/N, he’s just nervous. You know Gaara wasn’t in a place where he could process any kind of feelings when we first met you guys. It doesn’t help that he became Kazekage right after. It’s a pretty demanding job. He definitely doesn’t get much time to himself. Once he does, I think he’ll be able to sort through his feelings, and maybe he’ll realize you guys would be good together. He just needs a little more time. Believe me.”

“I’m not inclined to,” was all you could snort back at him. It was a playful jab, but you still felt a little sad. It felt like a pipe dream to believe Gaara even enjoyed your company.

Kankuro knew of Gaara’s feelings, but he couldn’t tell you outright. So, instead, he insisted, “Come on, he’s a wreck every time you so much as look in his direction.”

You stayed silent at that, but you were brought out of your own thoughts by a knock in the doorway. You turned to see Gaara standing properly in the doorway.

He looked slightly stiff, but Kankuro was leaving both of you high and dry. He not-so-casually crept out of the way with both thumbs up until he bolted out of the room. “Gotta go!”

“What was that about?” Gaara inquired when the black flash dashed past. With a shrug from you he simply brushed it off with a shake of his head and a slight chuckle at his brother’s antics.

“Um, I was hoping to apologize for what happened earlier,” he announced to you, glancing around the room to avoid your gaze. His cheeks were tinged just a pinch of pink, and it made you smile to yourself.

“No,” you try, “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have invaded your space without warning.”

“Oh, no, please don’t worry,” Gaara countered, approaching you further while trying to remedy the misunderstanding. You took the opportunity to take in every feature of his face. You mentally traced his tattoo across his forehead, the curve of his nose, the shape of his lips, the darkness surrounding his eyes, and the way his bright red locks just brushed against his skin a bit. He looked stunning, and your lungs felt tight. “I’m simply not used to people so openly wanting to hug me.”

“I always enjoy seeing you, Gaara.”

“I’m glad.” A smile spread across his face that left your stomach bursting with butterflies. “Um, you’ll be staying at the same inn as the last time, so let me know if you have any trouble.”

It felt like he was trying to escape again.

“Oh, thank you.”

Gaara noticed your expression fall a bit, and he immediately felt his entire being fall through the floor.

“You’re probably tired after traveling,” he figured, “so I’ll let you rest. If you need anything, Please, let me know.”

Something came over you in that moment, and you found your mouth moving without your brain thinking. “In all honesty, I’m more of hungry than tired. I’ve been dying to try that new restaurant Kankuro told me about in his letters. If you want to come, you’re more than welcome.”

In that moment, time stood still. You felt so stupid for suggesting it, and you wished that your words had never escaped your mouth.

Although, you were shocked when he replied, “I’d love to… but it’s my treat. I insist.”

“Really?” you murmured, “You don’t have any Kazekage business to attend to?”

The hopeful look in your eyes made Gaara’s heart soar. He’d liked you for some time, so he figured now was the only chance he’d get. From somewhere, a bit of confidence shot through him when he kidded, “I’m sure they can manage without me for a bit.”

“Then, let’s go… you don’t have to pay, though.”

“As I said, I insist.”

You strolled to the small restaurant side by side, your fingers brushing slightly while you held a shy conversation filled with innocent smiles and kind laughter. Maybe Kankuro was right about everything. At least, that’s what both you and Gaara were wondering.

Bonus:

Watching with his binoculars, Kankuro zoomed in on you two from his spot in the Kazekage’s tower.

“Yes!” He pumped his fist in the air. “Finally!”

[cetaceass]

hi, hope ur having a good day 🥺💖 ! can i request a scenario of khun aguero agnis from tower of god, possibly during the workshop arc, current au and he accidentally bumped into the reader who had joined fug along with bam. khun thought that they had died and the first thing he said was "holy shit you're alive...!?" & for gender it doesn't really matter so just use 'they'

I am having a splendid day! Thank you for asking! I hope you're having a fantastic day as well! Thank you for your patience and your request! I hope it's to your liking! 🥺💖

Con mucho amor <3

wc: 963

| That’s How Much I Love You |

Khun Aguero Agnis x Gen!Reader 

MANHWA SPOILERS AHEAD

. . . .

How many people can one promise to be loyal to the end the moment you meet someone? It's a rather absurd and naive thing to do. Anyone with a brain can understand that doing that is just plain stupid, especially in the tower, where one must be killed or stepped on in order to accomplish their wish upon reaching the top.

But that's what you did.

You pledged your loyalty to a stranger, someone you never spoken to because you had a gut feeling that Bam was special and you wanted in on the adventure of a lifetime.

"Is this what it feels like to be under a microscope?" You sat down next to Khun and tapped your lips with your spoon in a pensive manner before scooping some of your food. "Cause I don't mind being watched by your eyes for your research purposes."

He vividly remembers the warmth held in your eyes. It was clear that you were joking with him and you didn't seem to radiate with malicious intent. You spoke to him, kindness evident in your voice and the aura of freedom whenever he was around you.

"The moment we show weakness, we'll die. You can only trust yourself. Cover your ears, close your heart and find the best path."

He followed exactly what his sister had told him. He had closed his heart, he relied on only himself, and did the best to find the perfect path to pave the way, yet, you somehow sneaked unnoticed by him. By the time he realized you entered his heart and invaded his mind, it was too late.

Both for you and for him.

The crashing of waves broke Khun's train of thought on that day. He watched the water pull back before rapidly rising into a small wall of water and heavily crashing down onto the jagged rocks at bay below him. The sounds of the ocean eased him. It made him wonder what you would have thought of seeing a view like this; open, free, beautiful, fascinating, and eye-pleasing.

Just like you.

"Come on, Khun! We gotta get to the workshop and see the others!"

"I'll be right there with you in a second." He glanced at the view one more time taking it in. He was coming back to this room tomorrow, but it felt like he was leaving you. With a sigh, Khun walked towards the door and easily caught up with the rest of his companions.

The entire time, the image of you never once left his mind and the though of seeing you once more pained him. But deep down, he knew you were gone. The moment Rachel was spewed from the captured creature during the Administration test, neither Bam or you were with her. He knew he had lost the both of you.

"[Name]?"

So why were you there standing in front of him? You quickly put on your hoodie after the rough bump between the two of you when walking, but a second was enough to see who was hiding under there.

Muttering a curse, you gripped your hoodie tighter and walked passed him, not before you felt a harsh tug on your wrist and was forcibly turned around from the pull.

Your eyes met blue eyes. Oh god, how you missed seeing those electric blue eyes.

"Holy shit, you're alive.."

You didn't have time to answer because he had suddenly pulled you into a tight embrace and you desperately tried not to hug Khun back, but six years without being embraced so lovingly took a huge toll on you.

"Holy shit! You're alive! I-I thought you had died, like Bam.."

You don't regret your decision at all because you pledged yourself loyal to Bam the moment you met him and when he was pushed off by Rachel in the Administration Test, you immediately followed in pursuit, jumping with no hesitation which led to joining F.U.G.

Bam became a slayer and you were treated as his servant by the others. You got used to the deadly glares and the daily threats you would get. It was practically routine for you. Being a servant of the next possible god was a dangerous risk, with lack of strength, you made it up with wit and intellect making you worthy to work alongside the slayer candidate. 

Yet Bam never treated nor viewed as you any less of a friend. You weren't as strong as him--you probably never will be, but you had each other and the promise you gave back in the cafeteria.

Well, half of a promise. You didn't forget the other half, neither did Khun.

You slowly hugged the light bearer back, giving into his warm embrace. "Missed me that much, huh?"

"Yeah, I did."

You cracked a small crooked smile at his blunt response. "I did promise you that my heart will always be with you, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did."

You slightly pulled back to see the face you dreamed about during those restless nights and Khun viewed the face that haunted him endlessly. You leaned your forehead on his.

"Nothing will break us apart, Khun--not even death itself. I'll always come back to you no matter what. That's how much I love you."

“I love you too,” he muttered, before a softly glared at you. “But you do know that you not being physically here is way different than your heart, right?” You lightly laughed. There it was, his typical scolding. “C’mon, I was being cheesy. You like cheesy.”

“Only if it’s from you.”

“Now you’re the one being cheesy.”

“Oh really? I wonder who’s to blame.”

It wasn’t everyday you saw the light and felt a welcoming warmth. You let yourself enjoy this moment of happiness, just this once.

[artificialqueens]

Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor, 5 (Branjie) (and background everyone) - Ortega

a/n: HOORAY last of the strictly rewrites!!! thank u sm for ur patience if ur still waiting on chapter 6, i promise i’ll make it soon! lots of lo-ove, by-ee!!

fic summary: Strictly Come Dancing enters its 18th series and its producers, after being goaded by a rival dance show on its inclusivity, commission it to be an all-female cast. Unlike Akeria who’s just here to bone her potential dance partner, dancer Vanessa is ready to act like a professional.

And then TV presenter Brooke Lynn walks into the rehearsal room.

***

“And…one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three, one-two-three-”

“Goddamnit shit cunt bitch fuck piss in my mouth,” Brooke exhales frustratedly all at once, and Vanessa holds back an involuntary chuckle. It would be funny if it didn’t hit so close to home. It’s only twelve o’clock and it’s day three of rehearsals but already Brooke’s entire body language is defeated, like a burst balloon, and Vanessa is worried.

It’s all her fault, really. The scores from Saturday night still burn her brain if she thinks about them too much, hot coals on a grate. Twenty one out of forty. If it were a grade in a test it’d barely be a pass, and Vanessa can practically see her eyes turn green in the studio mirrors if she thinks about the fact they were sixth on the leaderboard behind Jan and Jackie, Crystal and Gigi, Monique and Monet, Akeria and Asia and Jaida and Yvie. Vanessa does not do sixth. Vanessa does not do anything other than top three, and the fact that she ended last week in the middle of the leaderboard enrages her. Okay, she knows this isn’t her journey- it’s Brooke’s, but Vanessa has a reputation to uphold; it’s her first year and she cannot be seen as a dud pro. So on Sunday she’d channeled her fighting spirit into an appropriate dance, and this week they’re doing a Paso Doble. Well. They’re meant to be doing a Paso Doble, but it’s fast and it’s frenetic and Brooke isn’t managing to get her head around this one particular section. Vanessa feels like packing it in, to tell the producers they’re doing something else, but really what kind of person would she be if she pulled that stunt? So instead she’s been watching Brooke become increasingly irritated at herself since 8 this morning and tried to come up with a way she can teach it that’ll work.

“This is my fault,” Vanessa verbalises what she’s thinking and bites her lip. “I’ve made this too hard.”

Brooke suddenly freezes and glares at her. “Are you saying I’m shit?”

PANIC. “No, fuck no! That’s not it at all, I just-”

Vanessa suddenly relaxes as Brooke splutters a held-in laugh, thumping her on the arm. “Shut the fuck up, bitch! I was nervous.”

“Not as nervous as I am about this fucking dance,” Brooke sighs, running her hands down her face slowly. Vanessa looks at the clock and makes a decision.

“You hungry?”

Brooke shrugs. “I am quite, now you mention it.”

“Good. Get your jacket. We’re gonna get lunch.”

Brooke winces. “But I still haven’t got-”

“We have got all damn day to learn this motherfuckin’ dance, now will you put your jacket on and let’s go?” Vanessa says firmly, Brooke giving a little laugh, shaking her head in resignation before crossing the room to grab her things. Vanessa’s pleased, and there’s small fireworks going off in her heart. She’s just asked Brooke to lunch and she’s said yes, not that Vanessa gave her much of a choice admittedly. As Brooke holds the door of the studio open for her, Vanessa starts wondering about where they could go to eat. She’s distracted by the way they’re walking down the corridor side-by-side, the way that Brooke stays close to her despite the fact there’s plenty room for them to have their own space. Vanessa feels like putting an arm around her waist, then decides against it. That kind of contact is special, reserved for a Saturday night after their dance is over and they’re standing together in front of the judges.

They walk out into the chilly October air, and Vanessa’s regretting only taking her hoodie out with her. The weather is quintessentially British- it had been raining that morning but now it has subsided, so the paving slabs glisten with puddles and the cars that go by roll smoothly through the rain-sheened roads and the grey clouds still hang heavy and ominous in the sky. Normally weather like this makes Vanessa yearn for her trips back to Puerto Rico, where the October temperatures are what the UK could only dream of in Summer, but standing outside in the cold and damp doesn’t seem so bad with Brooke looking at her expectantly.

“Where d’you wanna go?” she asks her. Brooke shrugs.

“Starbucks? Take it back and we can eat while we practise?”

Vanessa lets out a laugh and rolls her eyes, both irritated and impressed by Brooke’s dedication. She has a think and then remembers that place a few streets along from the studios where she, Akeria and Monique had grabbed brunch one time before a pro dance rehearsal. The thought of poached eggs with golden yolks on avocado toast makes her stomach rumble and she jerks her head in its direction. “C’mon.”

The walk and the fresh, icy air works a treat at clearing Vanessa’s head and by the time she and Brooke grab a wobbly wooden table by the steamed-up window in the cafe she’s feeling loads better about their Paso even though technically it’s still a mess. She picks up the menu despite knowing exactly what she wants and gives it a scan before Brooke plucks it unceremoniously out of her hands.

“Hey!”

“What?” Brooke smirks knowingly. Vanessa doesn’t complain further, instead indulging in the way Brooke’s eyes dart about as she scans the dishes on the menu, the way her brow furrows and the way she bites her bottom lip as she thinks. When Brooke looks at her again, Vanessa rushes to pretend she hadn’t had her eyes on her first.

“They have some really nice stuff here.”

Vanessa nudges the fork on the table a little to the left. “Me, Kiki an’ Monique went here a couple weeks back. They both had pancakes and they were really good apparently, so…”

She tails off, and Brooke nods. “You’re close with them, huh?”

“Well, we’re all kind of like sisters. All the dancers. In, like…the most literal way possible. We bicker and bitch and steal each others’ makeup and clothes but we love each other underneath it all. But yeah, those two are my girls,” Vanessa smiles involuntarily as she thinks about her friends. She thinks before adding, “They helped me through all the shit last year.”

Brooke smiles sympathetically and nods. “That’s cute that you’re all, like, a family.”

“It’s real nice. ‘Specially since all I really have here is my Mom, and I don’t get to see her all that often.”

Brooke leans her chin on her hands, listening intently. Vanessa realises she’s left her last sentence a little cryptic, so she elaborates. “We came over from San Juan when I was two. Fuck knows why my Mom wanted to leave, but we did. The rest of my family’s still over there- my Abuela, my Tia and Tio, all my lil’ cousins.”

“Do you get to visit much?” Brooke asks. Vanessa nods a yes.

“Way more nowadays than I ever got to when I was little. Obviously when we first came here we didn’t have a huge amount of money but my Mom always made sure to save enough to fly back every Summer for the school holidays an’ stuff.”

Vanessa pauses and looks out of the window. Her stomach feels tight with guilt. “But obviously it got harder when I started wanting to dance, cuz hell, if this country don’t like giving out free school meals then they sure as hell hate subsidisin’ your dance classes.”

Brooke laughs humourlessly in agreement. Vanessa picks at her cuticles as she keeps talking, stares at the table to avoid Brooke’s eyes. “So there were sometimes Summers when we couldn’t afford to go back over because of me. That was hard. My Mom was always really good about it and encouraged me and said it was fine but I still remember her on the phone to my family and how much she cried afterwards…damn. I felt like shit. Guess I still do.”

Brooke pulls a sympathetic face. “But I mean, you’ve been able to go back since then, right? So what do you have to be guilty for?”

“I don’t know,” Vanessa shrugs sharply, frowns a little. “I guess it was just selfish of me. Lookin’ back I should’ve thought about my Mom more.”

“Yeah, but it all worked out for the best. You’re now able to fly her out way more frequently because of the career you’re in, because of the sacrifices you both made back then. Right?”

Vanessa feels something bloom in her ribcage as she smiles at Brooke. Her eyes are kind and she’s talking like a therapist and listening to all of Vanessa’s pent-up guilt and regret even though she has absolutely no responsibility or obligation to do so. “Yeah. Sorry. I just kinda dumped all that on you.”

Brooke shakes her head. “Don’t be silly. This is nice.”

Nice. It is nice. It’s nice to sit in a busy, cosy cafe with Brooke while outside is cold and damp and talk about her life and be listened to. Vanessa feels content and peaceful for the first time perhaps since this competition started. Her mind hasn’t been this clear in a while.

“What about your family?” Vanessa asks. Brooke smiles involuntarily as she gazes at the ceiling. It’s cute.

“Aw, I miss them so much. My Mommy, my total queen and my rock. I love her,” she says happily. Vanessa can’t help but smile at her words. She knows what it’s like to cling to her Mom as growing up they only really had each other. Brooke folds her arms as she continues. “And then I’ve got my older brother and two older sisters who I love to death as well. But I don’t miss my sisters. Well, I don’t miss the way they borrow half my fucking outfits.”

Vanessa snorts a laugh as Brooke shakes her head long-sufferingly. “So you’re the baby of the family then?”

Brooke shrugs. “An overgrown baby at thirty years old, but yeah. All my siblings are either in relationships or married so you can imagine how fun that is whenever I go back to Canada, getting questioned by the fucking relationship Gestapo.”

The sentence makes Vanessa’s heart start climbing the stairs of hope, and she’s not even attempting to stop it. She fidgets with a corner of her paper napkin as she speaks again. “Oh, so you ain’t…you’re not seeing anyone at the moment, then?”

“Why, who’s asking?” Brooke cocks an eyebrow. Vanessa instantly feels her cheeks flood scarlet, and Brooke lets out a howl of a laugh. “Kidding, kidding! No, I’m not seeing anyone.”

“Right, right,” Vanessa nods as nonchalantly as she can. She thinks about testing deeper conversational waters, considers killing two birds of curiosity with one stone. They’re on the topic of relationships, and who knows when they’ll get onto it again, so she decides to dive in. “Just thought you might, y’know…have a boyfriend. Or somethin’.”

“No, no boyfriend,” Brooke says simply. She leans her head on the fist she’s made and raises her eyebrows a little, giving Vanessa a quick once-over. “Or girlfriend.”

It’s the answer she’s been hoping for, confirming her suspicions that Brooke’s into girls, but the flirting panics her and so Vanessa reaches for the discarded menu to fidget with as she lightly shrugs, moving the conversation along with all the tact and delicacy of a steamroller. “So you live on your own then?”

“Yeah. Just me.”

“Me too. You like it?”

Brooke pulls a face, looks down in thought for a second. “Sometimes. Part of me likes the feeling of being completely on my own, because I can do literally whatever the hell I want, take things at my own pace. There’s nobody to nag me or tell me what to do. I realise that makes me sound literally half my age, but it’s true. I can sing as loud as I want.”

“You sing?” Vanessa asks, intrigued. Brooke laughs.

“I didn’t say I sing well!” she snorts, and Vanessa lets out a giggle too. Brooke continues, her gaze focused on the world outside the window as she speaks. “It’s nice though, that feeling of freedom. On the other hand I just miss, like…coexisting with someone? I don’t know. Like when I came to uni over here and I had flatmates and there was that feeling of comfort to know that there was always someone in the next room to talk to, or make dinner with, or just watch TV with. Just someone to do normal shit with. You know?” Brooke narrows her eyes as she finishes her sentence, appealing to Vanessa.

“Yeah, I get it,” Vanessa replies, letting out a little sigh as she lets a few memories in and then slams that particular door firmly shut. “I miss that too, sometimes.”

The silence lingers between the two of them for a second before Brooke speaks again, her tone upbeat and cheerful. “But I mean, for the most part, my flat’s great. It’s part of this new-build, hi-tech apartment complex that only got done building last year. We’ve got a gym, there’s a shop at the bottom, there’s meeting rooms we can book…”

“Yeah, I think you told me about the gym once,” Vanessa nods in recognition, and Brooke’s smile widens as she has an idea.

“You should come round some time. You’d love it.”

Vanessa tries to stop the blush that threatens to hit her face. The invitation is personal and not rehearsal or show related, and that fact shouldn’t make her as happy as it does. She fixes Brooke with a smile and nods shyly. “Yeah. That’d be cool.”

Still visibly buoyed, Brooke reaches across the table and rests her hand on top of Vanessa’s, patting it gently. There’s a little spark of static when they touch, a metaphor come to life. When Brooke smiles at her, Vanessa feels comfortable.

“This was a good idea. Thanks for dragging me out.”

Vanessa shrugs, doesn’t move her hand. She smiles lazily at her dance partner. “It’s okay. We both needed a break.”

As the waiter comes to take their order Brooke’s hand flies out from its position on top of hers, but Vanessa doesn’t mind. There’s a connection that’s been forged that isn’t physical, and she knows it’s still there even if Brooke’s hand isn’t.

Rehearsal ends up going smoother the rest of that day. Okay- it’s not perfect, but Brooke starts picking it up and Vanessa’s mind is less cloudy. Thursday brings more rain and full runs of the dance that don’t go smoothly but Vanessa is relieved because at least they’ve fucking learned it. By Friday they’re exhausted and worn out and Vanessa hates this dance, hates this fucking dance, but it’s one step closer to being over for good. She’s disappointed when it occurs to her that they’re not going to get particularly favourable scores- their run is still riddled with mistakes, but at least Brooke’s worked hard on what she was critiqued for last week. Her core is stronger due to the planks Vanessa’s been making them both do at the start of every rehearsal and her elbow hasn’t drooped once- not that there’s much chance for it to during a Paso, but at least the judges will be able to see that she’s taking their comments on board. Vanessa’s proud of her. She tells Brooke so before they go home on Friday night, when it’s quiet outside and different shades of dark. She thinks Brooke might be blushing as she thanks her and says goodbye, but she can’t be sure.

Saturday happens in a frighteningly fast blur- there’s excitement but it’s nervous instead of anticipative, as everybody knows that tonight one couple will be eliminated. Vanessa’s not really worried about that though- the bottom of the leaderboard last week was comprised of Courtney and Blair, Plastique and Scarlet, Willam and Phi Phi and Aja and Farrah, so in comparison she supposes sixth isn’t too bad. Her aim for tonight’s dance had been to climb up the leaderboard a bit, but knowing how their Paso’s been going Vanessa will call it a success if they both stay where they are.

It turns out they drop down to seventh behind Shea and Peppermint, after their American Smooth has the judges on their feet. Brooke and Vanessa’s Paso goes…well, it goes. It’s not the best they’ve done it but it’s done, thank God, and they never have to do it again.

Unless of course they’re in the dance off. But Vanessa doesn’t permit herself to think about that. Instead, she thinks about the warmth of Brooke’s hand in hers as they walk through the corridor together after their judge’s critiques and their interview. Neither of them address the fact their hands are entwined, and that’s okay. Vanessa likes it like that.

“You okay?” she asks Brooke, halfway down the hallway, as their character shoes squeak quietly against the laminate flooring and they cast fleeting shadows against the manila walls.

Brooke sighs a little, gives a half-hearted shrug. “Yeah.”

“No you’re not. C’mere,” Vanessa frowns, using the hand she’s holding to pull Brooke into a hug. It’s gentle and tight all at once, the way Brooke’s strong arms are holding her close contrasting with the way her hands are light against her back. Brooke smells of a Saturday night: tan in a bottle and hairspray and Jimmy Choo Flash perfume. It’s not like her usual scent of freshly-washed hair and her fabric softener (Lenor Gold Orchid- Vanessa had smelt them all rather self-indulgently on her last trip to Tesco to work out which was Brooke’s).

“I don’t want to let you down,” Brooke whispers above her, and Vanessa can tell she’s got tears in her eyes without even having to look into them. She takes a deep breath and shakes her head against her chest.

“You could go out there, forget the entire dance and do the fucking Macarena for all I care. You always make me proud.”

Vanessa feels Brooke press a kiss to the top of her head and it sets off a blush she can feel spreading down her face onto her neck and across her chest. Brooke had kissed her again after their dance had finished, quick and emphatic against her temple, and it had set off butterflies in her stomach that threatened to fly up into the rigging of the lights. Vanessa wants to get caught up in the moment, wants even to hold her gaze and see how she’d react if she asked to kiss her properly, but instead she pulls herself out of the hug. She keeps their hands connected though and as she meets Brooke’s eyes and finds that she’s smiling at her, Vanessa concludes it was the right decision to make.

“Fuck the scores,” she says, remembering each paddle (4, 5, 5, 5) with a sting as if she’s been smacked with them. “The Paso wasn’t for us and it’s over now. On to the next one.”

“Unless we’re in the dance off.”

“Brooke Lynn, Bianca gave Blair a two. I think we’ll be fine.”

Vanessa isn’t wrong, and it turns out their position looks better compared to some of the other dances they see once they’ve been through makeup to get neatened up again. Poor Scarlet tries her best to get through her Jive with Plastique but her feet just aren’t doing the things Vanessa knows Scarlet wants them to, and the judges give them a combined score of fifteen. Scarlet looks deflated as she leaves the dancefloor and the moment their interview is over Vanessa watches as Yvie pulls her into a hug (Vanessa knows that type of hug because she’s just given Brooke the exact same one). Aja and Farrah’s Samba wasn’t great either and they earn themselves a mark of seventeen. Despite this, though, by the time the show finishes and they have to assemble to film the results (which are pre-recorded and then broadcast on a Sunday), they’re both a bag of nerves. She and Brooke are placed on the stairs with a spotlight burning down onto them, ants under a magnifying glass. The mood between the couples is decidedly tense, and as Vanessa looks down at the girls on the dancefloor she sees Monet squeeze Monique’s waist as Monique sighs and rests her head against the other girl’s shoulder. Vanessa wants to scoff at the fact they both seem nervous. The waltz they did almost brought the house down and they even got a nine from Laganja, so unless the only votes they got were ones they gave themselves, they’re very likely to be safe.

Michelle does her intro and, as the lights go down, Vanessa feels as if her heart is going to break her ribcage it’s beating so heavily.

“I can now reveal that the first couple safe and through to next week is…”

Long pause. The beat of a drum and Brooke’s pulse that Vanessa can feel through the hand she’s holding. Vanessa is so nervous that she casts her eyes up to the heavens. Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee…

“Jan and Jackie!”

Jan screams and Jackie falls gratefully into her arms as she yells a “thank you!” at the camera that’s barely heard over the applause.

“The second couple safe is…”

Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Vanessa gives a minute bow of her head like her Mom taught her to do at mass when she was little. Is it sacreligious to pray if you’re lapsed? Some priests probably think so. Vanessa hopes it’s working in their favour anyway.

“Heidi and Vixen!”

Vanessa can’t see their reaction as they’re positioned above them at the very top of the stairs, and she doesn’t want to turn around in case…it’s bad luck? She doesn’t know. At this point she’s not risking anything, not even looking up to see Brooke’s face.

“The next couple safe and through to next week is…”

Holy Mary, Mother of God…you take away the sins of the world? Nah, that’s the wrong one. Fuck.

“Gigi and Crystal!”

Vanessa wants to roll her eyes, much as she’s happy for her friend. Of course they’re safe. They were second on the leaderboard last week and first tonight after a scarily in-sync Charleston. It comes as no surprise to her.

“The first couple in tonight’s dance-off will be…”

Vanessa feels truly nauseous. It wouldn’t be impossible for it to be them, stranger things have happened on the show. What the fuck is that next line? Holy Mary, Mother of God…

“Blair and Courtney.”

Vanessa’s heart feels as if it’s been shocked by jumpleads. She feels Brooke give an involuntary squeeze of her hand, and Vanessa strokes her thumb against hers in return. They just need to not be the other couple in the dance off. It’s doable.

“The next couple safe and through to next week is…”

…pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death-

“Brooke and Vanessa!”

Vanessa doesn’t screech or scream. Instead she finally turns to Brooke, who’s meeting her smile with a matching one plastered across her own face. She falls into her outstretched arms in relief, and mumbles a “thank you” to the camera while Brooke holds her tight. They’ve made it. They live to fight another week.

Amen.

Of course, one couple isn’t so lucky and, after a tense dance-off between Scarlet and Plastique and Blair and Courtney, it turns out Blair is the first celebrity to leave the competition. The girls get upset- the celebrities have all become a part of their big, crazy family now, and it’s sad that Vanessa will no longer hear Blair laugh at something Vixen has said, or compliment her on her makeup, or ask to get selfies with everyone in the dressing room. It’s Vixen, though, who is affected the most by Blair’s departure. Vanessa knows they’re good friends but she wonders if perhaps they’ll ever become something more as she watches Vixen cling to Yvie and sob and sob. The moment they’re all allowed, the pros and celebrities flood the dancefloor as Blair and Courtney dance their last dance. Vixen makes a beeline for Blair and Courtney graciously steps out of her way so the pair of them can hug and cry in tandem.

“Shit, this is rough,” Vanessa mutters to nobody in particular. Monique, who’s materialised beside her, shrugs.

“Yep, well. I don’t plan on havin’ to go through it, so it’s not a problem for me.”

Vanessa snorts at her friend’s cockiness, then pulls a sympathetic face as Blair approaches the pair of them, all streaming mascara and sniffles.

“C’mere, baby. You did so well, be proud of yourself,” Vanessa offers to her, and Blair smiles gently before her face crumples again.

“Just…look after my girl, okay?” she asks them hopefully. Monique smiles, rubs her forearm gently.

“Oh, sweetie, Courtney will be fine, she’s a big girl.”

“Courtney?” Blair asks, confused. Then she appears to realise something and she smiles back at Monique, a little embarrassed. “Oh no, um…I meant Toni. Can you both look out for her? Make sure she’s okay after I’m gone? I mean I know her and Heidi are going to go far, but…y’know.”

Vanessa wants to cock an eyebrow at Monique in recognition, but she doesn’t. Instead she gives Blair a reassuring look, takes her hand and squeezes it gently. “Sure we will.”

Appeased, Blair thanks them and gives them both a hug before moving on to say goodbye to some of the other girls. As she walks away, Vanessa hears Monique give a big sigh beside her. She tilts her head at her friend inquisitively. “You ‘kay?”

“Yeah, uh…” Monique sighs, rubs her eyes a little. “Could we do lunch at some point this week? Me, you, Kiki. I just need my girls’ advice.”

“About what?” Vanessa asks her. Then, as she follows Monique’s gaze over to where Monet is standing talking to Shea and Aja, the penny drops. “Oh. OH. Okay. Yeah, we’ll do lunch, bitch.”

Monique smiles gratefully at her, then gives her a hug and a goodnight as she’s starting choreography early tomorrow. The coming week’s theme is movies, which is always fun, and Vanessa already has a number in mind. It’s ridiculous, and so quintessentially Strictly. She can’t wait to show it to Brooke.

As Vanessa thinks of Brooke, she finds her eyes scanning the group of girls to see where she is. She’s smiling as she’s talking to Plastique and Scarlet, her smile bright and dazzling and her eyes kind. The lights are hitting her highlight and making it look as if she’s glowing, and her hair catches the light too in its smooth and glossy bun.

Vanessa feels her heart yearn, and she considers the possibility that perhaps it won’t just be Monique talking about the feelings she has for her partner when they both go to lunch with Akeria.

[revelaare]

Shit said in the Crimson Discord & VC, taken out of context part 2, (the sequel)

Big NSFW warning, probably

his meat slid off and then slid right back on

[PRONOUN] can punch me in my uterus and make a hammock out of my ovaries

it’s one of the worst fucking things i’ve ever heard, and i’ve heard someone literally shit their pants

they tagged me and my ass clenched

this man just said “I want to eat ur ass and then kiss you” ok buddy

a man with a plan

my grandpa is texting his hoes from his flip phone

god my lawyer was a hit but idk if she will be the chosen one or not

hello give me your toenails

i'll touch you in a non-weird way

he was in that movie with the people, he was the human.

i want her to brush my hair

If we have dick glasses they have to be of the highest quality for the best experience

i don't wanna watch that white nonsense

i would throat him like a fine wine

these millenials can't live without ac? back in my day we lived on the sun

yall better put those goats on a wheel, tell them to start running

he looks like a bitch

yes or no, u wud punch the light bulb out of thomas edisons wrinkly pruned hand and asked him if he believed in god

still has skin and a working body

i needed to wait until my voice changes

you thought i was snacking on joe biden’s savory meat stick

barack guckin oglizzy, oguckma, barack osugma, Joe choden, OglchnnngggHHHYynnUUUnnghhma

why did i have a dream that i was taking the lid off my car

false gods require wine, real gods require coochiefice

fettucine wet ass pussy

that was all you sent me. the picture of a raccoon and then nothing

it isn’t hate, it is ‘continuously let down by’.

i never went to school who science

i’m gunna go peer pressure my mum into a shot

thank you for furthering my career at hot topic

i will suck the ingrown hair off of him

it has huge jackman in it

i chomped on this eggshell, got my calcium in for the day

i will take you to touch the mango

i want to see all the big things

[PRONOUN] has collar bones so deep you could hook a clothing hanger into it

no asscheeks in fucking family chat you animals

he will eat you alive and suck out your intestines like its a spaghetti noodle

[NAMES]’s Tiggle Biddie’s

dropped acid, cried the whole night.

my stomach is hooping and hollering, i’m about to eat some sleep

you want my throatsac ??

please dont know me as the toenail eater

you have to keep the skin on one side while you eat the other, thats basic mango physics

i mean he is some good sasuage

calm down dick Hannibal

respectfully, what the fuck is this

tbf i only eat my steaks where they need tampons

you committed acts of culinary terrorism

does your refrigerator whimper and cower in the corner when you approach it. that's your fridge trying to use echo location to locate a safe space

thundercuck

i almost met Jesus, I almost got an autograph. Almost got a greatest hits signed album.

respectfully, are you smoking fucking crack?

my left testicle could play better than you

i’ll eat him with ketchup

son of a biscuit eating bulldog!

now it’s back to me sucking, all is right in the world.

holy fuck weasels.

holy fuck, weasels!

why does the bad guy look like the Statue of Liberty?

this is a man that sometimes willingly dresses like a lumberjack

and me, being an emotional cripple, must make jokes about this.

hey my name is [NAME] i'm **definitely** who i say i am

[NAME OR PRONOUN] offered a back massage by calling it the “tickle thing”

i love a man who puts his parents in a nursing home.

my brain is going to take a hot shower

wait have u seen steve harvey's coochie

if it were me i would simply not be pregnant

look im not about to be out here saying i love [NAME OR PRONOUN] feet, but i am about to be out here saying that their feet are some of the nicest feet i've seen in a long time

i named my cloyster renesmee

[NAME] was texting me from the bathtub

you’re pregnant? That’s unfortunate.

do I say dumb shit? Perhaps. Do I take ownership? Perhaps.

i pay for things in blissful ignorance

i am an emotional vagrant

i am an emotional fragrance

to make a long motherfucking story short...

this enchilada tastes like asshole and sadness

you are not an ugly bitch, you’re just a bitch

that’s not a nut shot, buddy.

i’m sad because i sucked the meat off of this pumpkin spice latte

i want to make a blanket out of his eyebrows

what are you disgracing my Christian eyes for?

he be looking at that dick like why does it go so much to the left?

I want her to record an audio book for me so I can fall asleep listening to her voice.

Can I lick you like an ice cream cone? Asking for science.

like you're out to lunch with your bromie and you're eating some rubens or something and you wistfully look over the rim of your sunglasses and just: You ever buss 2 fast

my accent is flaccid

timotay chalamaymay’s sweet ass

on the bright side mcallister’s gave me 3 pickle spears. Almost enough to make a whole pickle.

you think they came from the same mommy pickle?

HIS DOODLE IS OUT

i thot that meant [NAME] wanted to...doodle his noodle

i don’t use commas, i don't respect u enough, fuck ur reading comprehension.

does australia have seasons

i want someone to embalm my body with mcdonalds sprite

his hermione grangina

purrrr my last email

its lore locked beneath 30 layers. u can only understand it if uve had a near death experience

LET'S GET FUCKY

i wanna have the heart of a stoner

his man titties look like little tattooed pillows

SWIGGITY SWOOTY COMIN FOR THAT BOOTY

there were no cheeks to shake. nothing to clap. no noise to be had from her literal slices of wonderbread

u ever just fuck around and ur tits fart

put a lil mint leaf on it for authenticity

alright brother god bless may u be fertile

i feel like im being advocated for something i shouldnt be advocating for

and i am adam with my fat pendulous balls lol

i’m making whuppie with whoopie godberg

theodore tits fart rex

yeah man do u also have the third toe on ur shoulder

the green spaghetti monster is coming for me and i can't blame him

today i learned starfish do not poop

that was nothing compared to some other things I saw

listen I'd willingly watch [NAME/PRONOUN] in a cell for 24 hours. Imagine that sounded less creepy

i'd lick a dirty flip flop off her abs

i’m tempted to show you all the gravity defining boobs, maybe tomorrow

my brain is on vacation

good morning! i ate breakfast and im ready to go to bed

tape the titty in

ive unironically had nightmares with [NAME] in them

the peanut in the auditory canal

so far this feel all comfortable, does this all make sense?

i know it's kind of a schlep to get through

nail polish or no nail polish for the shower?

and then he saw those big tt honkerz... and it all went down hill from there

can y’all stop chanting curses in the chat my furniture is stuck on the ceiling

EH?! CIAO? HELLO??

in Russia this is not ok 

i can’t buy pants here on Sunday either

IT'S LIKE TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS TO EAT ON A SOGGY PANCAKE

imagine me going up to [NAME/PRONOUN] and being like i love the way ur flesh smells

in a supermarket. The sickly blue light where humans congregate. Animal human masses. Nameless faces. Whole lives boiled into generalized categories like "asshole who definitely does need 4 boxes of cheerios". Yout hink and realize while stabding in line u didnt grab the bag of frozen peas...but its 2 late

its truly the only picture that gives me pure joy

are weasels real

my work mum just messaged me the phrase "use your booty call wisely" with no context

"let's bring u to the mustache chair"

If you’re not doing coke under the coke sign what is the point?

[ambitionsource]

wait i actually have more weirdly specific questions (if ur up to it) - how do the kids feel about poetry? do they follow any sports? what childhood tv shows were their favs? do they have celebrity crushes? fav coming of age movie? how are they doing in quarantine? what time in history were they obsessed w as a kid? have they ever been to summer camp? what type of candles do they like? what song do they cry to? how do they drink their coffee/tea sorry if u’ve answered already/too many questions

wooooo thank you for your patience iz!! we’re gonna go point by point

poetry?

charlie loves it genuinely and will read it for fun. riley likes it enough but doesn’t go out of her way to read it. farkle loves coming up with insane explanations for the metaphors and is smug about interpreting it in class. zay doesn’t care for it, neither does lucas. asher appreciates it but finds it boring; dylan likes it for the same reason farkle does, only not to look smart but to come up with something completely crackheaded to combat farkle’s interpretation (which he can’t then say isn’t correct, bc its poetry, so all interpretations are valid!). isa doesn’t like it because she doesn’t get the metaphors on paper the same way she can pick them up in film. maya hates it even though multiple people have pointed out that song lyrics are basically poetry -- she will tune you out.

sports?

sports aren’t Big at aaa (aside from dance), but there are remnants here and there. riley follows basketball of course -- even tho as demonstrated in 110, she cannot play it to save herself -- and she tried out for cheer in 9th grade at her old school but was rejected from the squad (another bad mark on a terrible year). farkle prefers wii sports over any actual sport, but will sometimes watch golf with stuart because it’s quality time with his very busy father. charlie did soccer when he was younger before it got phased out by dance and semi keeps up with it. dylan also “played” soccer, but this meant the other little league teammates getting pissed at him bc he never paid attention to the game and was just like “hey! hey, dennis, look at this!” and did like 3 cartwheels across the field. it was a smart move when randall pulled him from the team bc those intense soccer moms were gonna like beat them up fDJSKG. so now dylan is just an unofficial gymnast instead.

isa doesn’t like sports but played them a lot with foster siblings, and even though she sucks she gets very competitive. lucas liked baseball and was good at track in middle school, but he never thought about doing a sport for real because he knew he was going to quincy eventually where his dad is a coach... yeah. no. but he’s great at running fast from the police!

maya hates sports (aside from the art of dance). waste of time, waste of energy. asher has never done a sport nor ever contemplated a sport. the most Sport he’s endured is going with jade to support dave at his swim meets (where nigel also does swim) and suffice to say, asher wasn’t there to look at the swimming.

childhood tv?

dylan to this day is a spongebob squarepants STAN. legend, icon, scholar, best television show ever made, in his opinion. he also was well-versed in pokemon, adventure time, gravity falls, and phineas and ferb. asher and lucas both didn’t watch lots of tv growing up (if at all), so dylan considers it his job to give asher a thorough education in the quality tv he missed as a kid.

maya was all over hannah montana (miley is still a role model to this day for her), and she, zay, and charlie all remember the fever dream that was shake it up. zay especially loved it bc he was (is) obsessed with zendaya. zay and maya both also watched victorious. charlie was sharing a tv with four siblings so he just ended up watching whatever the dominant sister that day wanted to watch. riley was a disney channel girl, and farkle was a pbs scholar (arthur, cyber chase, fetch! with ruff ruff man... classics).

 celebrity crushes?

zay = zendaya (as previously mentioned). charlie = harry styles to a major degree, although his Cover Story would be zendaya if you asked (ironically). maya = britney spears (but in a I Want To Be Her way, major idolization rather than attraction) and technically the same for valerie de la cruz but like... rip to that lmao. isa = loki, yes we know, but sometimes it be that way (altho that does extend a little bit towards tom hiddleston in general). asher = logan lerman, aka the main valid white boy who dresses nice, is polite and soft-spoken, and minds his own business (not to mention he is the Same Type as dylan). dylan = had crushes more on like... personalities so like ash ketchum and percy jackson, and now its irrelevant bc he met asher and became obsessed and its like every other potential crush just flew out the window of his brain. it’s full asher territory in there nowadays.

riley doesn’t have a specific one, she thinks lots of people are Pretty but no one particularly strongly. farkle doesn’t have one because he’s insane and doesn’t have the mental capacity. lucas doesn’t have one because he’s demi and also hates most celebrities as people.

coming-of-age movie?

maya’s is mean girls. farkle’s is ladybird. zay’s is easy a. riley’s is bend it like beckham. isadora’s is eighth grade. charlie’s is dead poet’s society. asher’s is perks of being a wallflower. dylan’s is spiderman: into the spiderverse. lucas doesn’t know movies.

quarantine?

we’ve somewhat discussed this before, but ultimately es and i elected to let aaa remain in a nice, calm universe where they don’t have to endure covid. lucky them. blow a kiss to the ether for us, buds,

fave time in history?

riley is huge on ancient greece and greek mythology. maya loves the theatricality and Drama of the roaring 20s (a baby flapper at heart). zay vibes hard with the 80s. charlie likes the fashion and romanticism and music and art of the 70s (that sort of flowery positivity clashing with the rebelliousness of the movements of the 60s... yeah. that hits something in him). farkle’s is the great depression not only bc he’s an emo but also all the raw and desperate art that came out of it. isadora was a egyptian mythology kid. i know lucas sounds lame (he is), but i don’t think he cares about history -- but if pushed he’d probably say the 90s bc he dresses like he’s straight out of there, everyone was angry rocking, and he wasn’t born. asher likes the victorian era bc of the sheer elegance and Aesthetic to everything. dylan doesn’t have a favorite time period because due to being the subconscious multiverse conduit (i.e. the being that is somewhat connected to every other version of himself) sometimes he wakes up and for a minute he doesn’t even know what year it is 🤪anyway...

summer camp?

charlie has been to many a christian youth summer camp. zay went to the kossal program, but that was basically it. lucas no although he probably wished he could be anywhere else during the summer sometimes including a camp he would hate. riley went for a few years in elementary school. isa has gone to a couple of “foster kid” summer camp bonding things that she despised. farkle went to jewish summer camp One time and was like that was HORRIBLE, never make me spend a whole summer outside AGAIN. asher was more of a Enrichment courses at the rec center during the summer kid than a camper. dylan no because the orlandos couldn’t afford something like that. same for maya.

candles?

riley has a small variety of scented ones that are like... warm scents, like cinnamon and stuff. asher a couple that smell like clean linen but his fear of accidental fires keeps him from ever lighting them. maya has one and it smells like “star power,” a gift from her mom one christmas. isadora can’t have any because many of her foster homes don’t allow them. lucas legally shouldn’t be allowed anything that catches on fire. dylan doesn’t have one but similarly should not be given one. the minki have a whole collection for different things so farkle can just pluck one at any time if he needs one like for a super fancy bath or whatever the fuck rich people do.

mental breakdown song?

charlie’s are “falling” and “from the dining table” by harry styles.

riley’s is “manhattan” by sara bareilles and “rainbow” by kacey musgraves.

zay’s are “imagine” by ariana and “dear life” from the step up soundtrack (post zc breakup).

farkle’s are “vienna” by billy joel and “get it right” from glee.

asher’s is “don’t cry” by ruel.

isa’s is “you are my sunshine” because valerie used to sing it to her a lot when she was really little, so it will always make her a little emotional.

dylan’s (although rare) are “soon you’ll get better” by ts and “make you feel my love” by adele. the second one is because his mom loved adele when she was just starting out bc 19 was released the same year that she passed away so there’s a lot of like subconscious association there even if he doesn’t realize it.

maya doesn’t have one, and lucas also doesn’t have one because in the rare moments he does cry its in his closet in the dark silence alone bc he literally can’t stand the sentience of knowing he’s crying so. sensory blackout.

coffee / tea?

riley will add at least 3 sugars to anything, but she’s ultimately an iced tea gal. lucas drinks it black but only because it never occurred to him to add anything to it and so it’s a big wake up call when he realizes you can drink it and have it NOT be bitter and horrible and demoralizing ( “i thought we were all just suffering for the caffeine fix??” ). isa is a tea girl mostly, although she wishes she could drink black coffee for the aesthetic (and hates that lucas can... it’s like... he didn’t even Earn that aestheticism, smh). asher doesn’t drink caffeine bc it makes him Jittery (and he’s already jittery) so he’s like... the lemonade bitch at coffee shops which kin, and then dylan definitely drinks caffeine but not thru coffee, he’s more likely to get like a hot chocolate.

farkle lives on coffee but he can only drink it from home because they’re rich and can have like fresh ground good imported whatever the heck etc etc so he’s like spoiled about coffee. zay will hit up a starbucks now and then and will order coffee at a diner, but he’s not too attached either way. maya is a fun n free starbucks gal with her frappes and lattes and lots of cream (whipped or otherwise). charlie doesn’t drink coffee or tea bc hes hyper aware of his body and health (he doesn’t really have soda either) and it was frowned upon in his house.

[watermxlnhigh]

2020 appreciation :)

Pardon if this kinda sucks and for it being late oops

@yeetyouhoes D A N N Y. oml idek where I should start with you because you’re just amazing. You have listened to many rants, recommended me amazing songs, sent amazing spams, advice, jokes, just all of it. And well yeah you just honestly light my day up and are one of the people I’ve gotten the closest too. So thank you for being just a phenomenal person inside and out that I can trust. And for being a Swiftie bc fanning over her is much better with another person. And thank you for turning me into a hyunjin stan (I still stan lix freckles though👀👀) I love you Danny 💗

@chippychee Mom!!!! You adopted me into this wack world of stays and toes and I’ve been loving every bit of it. I remember getting into that thing and announcing a “yeehaw I’m izzy” and from there the rest is history. Also thank you for listening and for helping me with my friend struggles. You’ve helped so so so much and I love you and all your wack ass memes and rat tail imagines in all. And also for the calls and just vibing and idk how to really express my love rn bc my brain isn’t functioning but ummmm Muah muah muah and you are definitely helping full the hole 💗 I love you :)

@defsigh NIDEEN I’m still banking on that wedding I hope you know 👀 and making you sweet tea, apple pie, biscuits, all of it...you best believe I’ll be making you a full on f e a s t. But ma’am you’re my exo loving, jawn teaching boon and I love you so much.

@lucyhasproblems LUCY I know I haven’t talked to you but your texts and DMs in the gc are always hilarious and ur honestly a full mood and imma buy you a huge freaking dreidel one day mark my words. Love you girl :)

@ethereal-bean HEART aka the wise one. I’m pretty sure I’ve spoken to you once but you’re so sweet. Hands down of the sweetest and most mature people I’ve met on here and I hope I can get to know you more this year :)) love youuu

@sweetchaos-yk NAKECIA I L O V E Y O U. You honestly are also hilarious and kind and idek what to say but when I see ur name in the gc it tends to be a funny text that follow which is amazing and I also hope o I can get closer to you and hope ur decade is amazing and yeehaw

@thatadorkablegirl SHANNI / SWEETEST HUMAN ON THE EARTH U W U. Sadly another boon I don’t know all that well but your random blurbs of love brighten my day soooo much and I wish for nothing bad to ever happen to a precious soul like yours. I love youuu

@nakamowoto CHELLIE hey there so we haven’t talked much HOWEVER the times we have I’ve been toppling over in laughter and I hope we get close this next decade bc ur a legend and yeehaw. Love you girl

@chanswish BAMBI /the baby of the group. Girly I love you and hope that you know anytime you need to talk or some advice I’ll be there bc you too are an absolute angel and I know we don’t talk as much anymore and haven’t in a minute but you’re amazing and I love you :)

SO BOONS

I know I’m late....but oml I’ve known y’all for a whole ass month. That’s wack. Kinda feels like a year ngl but anywho I’m just so thankful that I got to meet y’all, and that even though I had known Chloe for 2 days while everyone else had known her for 2 months plus...she still swooped me in and y’all did the same :) and because of y’all it honestly made the last month of the decade fucking amazing and just a little happier in my spot of darkness, so thank you. Thank you for the spams thé listens the rants the dreams the jokes the advice the smiles the love. Lots and lots of love. You’ve all brightened my day and decade and I hope I was able to do the same. So here’s to many more jokes and laughs and smiles and cries and hugs and spams of all sorts. Thank you for being you and for existing :)

Love you boons and yeehaw

[passionate-reply]

I love your album analyses, what inspired you to make them?

First of all, thank you! I am so glad there are people out there picking up what I’m putting down, as they say. I work pretty hard on these and put a lot of thought into them, so it means a lot to know they are being appreciated.

As for what inspired them…I mean, thinking through the sorts of stuff I talk about on here is pretty much something I do involuntarily, hahaha. My mind goes on tangents, connects things in funny ways, and I come to conclusions about stuff. I just naturally think about art and interpretation of art. When I was in high school, I took a course on (visual) art history and just fell in love with it because it was exactly what my brain was always good at. I ended up writing 20+ versions of the final paper assignment on every single suggested topic, because I had so many thoughts about all the art we looked at and wanted to get them all out there! So the actual “work” is in turning those ideas into verbal form (as a non-verbal thinker) and refining and clarifying what I’m thinking about into something that’s actually palatable and approachable for other people. I try to juggle making them accessible, by explaining background on things in reasonable detail, but also interesting to fairly enfranchised listeners by focusing on more obscure tracks. 

Really I’ve always been extremely interested in music…and beyond just “interested” in some kind of academic sense, it really just eats at my soul and communicates with me on this deeply personal, emotional level that nothing else really reaches for me. Listening to music makes me feel like I’m the real me, and what I’m experiencing is the real life, or that that experience is “the point” of it all. Some of my earliest memories from being a toddler are the first times I ever heard “Sweet Dreams” and “Tainted Love,” and just being completely blown away and shaken up by them. They filled me with this sense of pleasure, dread, and confusion…but also a bottomless longing for more where they came from. I saw them as constituting some “world” that I desperately wanted to enter and become a part of. It was very much like seeing a reflection of my innermost soul, something I started to very heavily “identify” with from my literal earliest memories.

For a long time I’ve kind of been ashamed of that, or hidden from it. Mostly, it stems from the fact that there were elements of my upbringing that weren’t that great. My parents got divorced when I was about three, and my mom has never been a huge part of my life–that’s not necessarily super concerning to me, though, as my dad is mostly a great parent and since I was so young, I kind of always internalized it as “normal,” and I never stressed much about it. But the real problem was when my dad started seeing someone when I was eleven, and she was particularly bad news for both of us. Of course, you never really know what makes someone abuse others, so I won’t try to diagnose her with narcissism or anything else. It suffices to say that she went out of her way to do me harm and keep me from just about anything that made me happy. Eventually, this got to the point of not having food or a bed…but physical torture, you’re able to get over more easily than emotional torture. So I put the weight back on in foster care, but being kept from music and constantly belittled and maligned over my tastes and my level of engagement with it, that sort of always stuck with me on some level. 

So since that time in my life, I’ve always been self-loathing about my love for music, because I internalized all of that pain, and all the times I was told I was being immature, my tastes would change and I’d find New Wave cringy someday, all of that. I was really afraid to dig deeper and spend more time listening and thinking about it, because I never let go of that fear that someone would take it away from me. Even though she also belittled me for my same-sex attraction and gender nonconformity, too, there’s a whole cultural narrative around that that made it easy for me to dismiss that and start living as queer and not giving a shit about it. Whereas with the music stuff, my experience was so strange and singular that it was, and is, hard for me to get past it sometimes. It’s still emotionally easier for me to talk about stuff like Kraftwerk and Ultravox that I wasn’t into yet during that time of my life, as opposed to the bands I really liked as a preteen, like Pet Shop Boys and Numan.

So, a big reason why I started writing Passionate Reply is that I wanted the ritual of putting myself out there on a daily basis, and letting myself get emotional over music and gush over what I really like. It’s healing for me because I’ve spent so much time not allowing myself to be myself, and on here I get to genuinely express my excitement and enthusiasm for music! It feels phenomenal. The only thing better than that feeling is knowing that other people are getting something out of my exercise, as well. 

I guess the other component that sort of inspired me, and why I started doing this in this particular moment, is that I managed to score that ticket to see Midge Ure this past Tuesday, roughly a month ago. Ever since I bought it, I’d been jumping up and down with excitement, wanting to grab people in the street and scream at them about Midge Ure! It really made me realize just how important music was and is to me, because truly nothing else had ever made me so excited in my whole life. There’s just nothing that matters so much to me, or makes me so happy, in the entire world! So that really put into perspective how much I was hurting myself by being self-deprecating about music and its place in my life. It really spurred me to take it more seriously and start doing this! And now that the concert came and went, and I had quite frankly one of, if not the, most powerful and meaningful experiences of my whole life, that’s made me even more galvanized to do this.

Thanks again for asking, sorry for the long and possibly TMI response, but that is how my blog came to be and why I do what I do. Glad you enjoy my work.