#i love talking about this shit sooo much!
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#wiggles hands #i personally think that stolas had it wrong because even before blitzø started yelling #stolas thought blitzø didnt feel the same and immediately ditched as opposed to like?? giving him a fucking minute to process?? not cool??? #like yes the trauma response about being yelled at and setting boundaries and all that. thats fine #but Why stolas did you Immediately leave it wasnt even a rejection he just didnt Understand #give him a Fucking SECOND!!?? #which is smth blitzø also yells abt in full moon iirc! bc like DUH!!??? #and there IS power imbalance in the way stolas just tosses blitzø outside via teleportation. #it DOES imply he thinks little of blitzø In That Moment bc hes 'seeing his abuser' #but like... he would not teleport stella outside like that. even when he asserted his boundaries w her he NEVER did that shit #it WAS disrespectful to blitzø. it was. and the immediate dismissiveness the next morning obv didnt fuckin help #cuz blitzø immediately went on the defensive and like yeah he said horrible shit but FUCK DUDE he didnt instigate it! #like yeah stolas doesnt have to sit there and take it EXCEPT HES THE ONE WHO FUCKING INITIATED THE ISSUE? SO YES HE KIND OF DOES HAVE TO#HEAR BLITZØ OUT AND SIT THERE?? #puts my head in my hands. #and all the ppl talking abt ou well its stolas' house so he gets to portal blitzø out! #you are a fucking dick? you cant spring a huge relationship change on somebody and then run off and act the hurt party when they havent even #processed it yet! and then KICK THEM OUT when they understandably get ANGRY at you dismissing them? and HELLO. STOLAS DISMISSES BLITZØ.#HES NOT ONE OF YOUR SERVANT IMPS DUDE! HELLOOOO?????? #idk idk idk like stolas was definitely going through it but HOLY SHIT you guys cant be serious when you say it was equal on both sides #when theres a very obvious clear systemic power imbalance. like youre FUCKING WITH ME?? you cant be serious rn.
Wow. This... sure is a lot of extremely bad faith misinterpretations of those scenes. I'm going to address all of this step by step, I guess, because my dude, you are wildly off the mark on basically everything you accused Stolas of. So I hope you're ready, because this reply is going to be very long.
"#i personally think that stolas had it wrong because even before blitzø started yelling #stolas thought blitzø didnt feel the same and immediately ditched as opposed to like?? giving him a fucking minute to process?? not cool??? #like yes the trauma response about being yelled at and setting boundaries and all that. thats fine #but Why stolas did you Immediately leave it wasnt even a rejection he just didnt Understand #give him a Fucking SECOND!!?? #which is smth blitzø also yells abt in full moon iirc! bc like DUH!!???"
Yeah no, Stolas had every right to walk away, and was 100% justified in doing so. Maybe it wasn't entirely fair to Blitz, because on his end of things it looked totally different, but you already seem to understand what it looked like from Blitz's pov, so since we're talking about whether they equally fucked up or not, then I want you to step back from that and think about how it looked to Stolas, too.
Blitz did not respond to Stolas' confession with "hold the fuck on" or "what the fuck?" or "what do you mean?", nor did he do literally anything at all to suggest that he was confused or needed a moment to process what Stolas was saying. Blitz's immediate, snap reaction was to go "ohhh, okay you're fucking with me! This is an interesting roleplay, never done this one before but I can get into it. 'Ohhh, Stolas, I'll stay with you~! I love you sooo much~!'"
Perhaps you've never experienced this, but let me assure you that it is soul-crushingly awful to confess something important to you to someone you trust, only for them to completely write it off as a joke and/or make fun of you for it. It's extremely humiliating and feels like a deep betrayal, because you trusted them and were vulnerable with them, and in return all you got was mockery.
I've asked a number of real life actual people who have all, without fail, said that if that happened to them they'd end the conversation right there and walk away. Most of them, including me, said they'd leave just so they could go cry in private, and one said that they'd basically say "fuck you" and leave because they were pissed off. Stolas was the former. Take a moment to really, genuinely think about what your own reaction would be to having someone you love and trust make fun of you after you confess something important and vulnerable. It doesn't have to be a love confession, mine certainly wasn't, but do you honestly think you'd want to stick around after that?
So Stolas would have been justified in walking away just from that. He was very kind as he took his leave too and tried to bow out as gracefully as he could without causing a fuss, which is made all the more impressive because Blitz unintentionally triggered Stolas' trauma with the roleplay bit. Stolas has lived with Stella for 18 years at this point in the timeline, and part of how she abused him was humiliating him and mocking his feelings. He hides it decently well with Stella, because he's had decades of practice at this point, but we see in Ozzie's that being humiliated, especially in public, is a trauma landmine that Blitz tripped right onto. Yeah, he's going to leave, and it's not a fault that he does.
Moreover, you'll notice that Stolas doesn't kick Blitz out here or tell him to leave. He walks away further into the house, and yes he's probably expecting that Blitz will take it as an opportunity to bounce, but he does not tell him to go. Blitz could have waited as he took the moment he needed and thought things over, and then talked and asked whatever questions he needed to after Stolas came back. It was his bedroom and it was midnight, it's not like Stolas wasn't going to come back within the next couple of hours. Or Blitz could have left, thought things over, and come back. Instead, he followed after Stolas, which wasn't a great feeling for either of them, because Stolas was only barely staving off a breakdown and Blitz was getting hit in that abandonment trauma all over again, but Stolas walking off scared him so he acted on the impulse to not let Stolas get away.
And he started off fine! Even though he was basically chasing Stolas, he wasn't angry or anything. He asked "wait, you were serious?! Hold on now, Stolas. What the fuck?" and Stolas did his best to answer even as he kept walking, rather than telling him to go away or kicking him out. His answer was poorly worded though and it set Blitz off, which is when we get to your next point.
#and there IS power imbalance in the way stolas just tosses blitzø outside via teleportation. #it DOES imply he thinks little of blitzø In That Moment bc hes 'seeing his abuser' #but like... he would not teleport stella outside like that. even when he asserted his boundaries w her he NEVER did that shit #it WAS disrespectful to blitzø. it was.
???? How on earth did you reach this conclusion?? Of course Stolas would never teleport Stella outside like that. That's not respect, that's fear. It took everything he had to stand up to Stella the way he did, which we know because he collapsed as soon as she was gone. He was terrified of her; he was backing away while she approached and knew she was about to hit him. He was fighting back, yes, but you can tell from her reaction that he almost never has in the past. It had nothing to do with respecting her, because his normal response seems to be either standing there silently taking the abuse or shrinking in on himself while trying to placate her.
As for what happened in the ballroom, Stolas was triggered for the second time in just a handful of minutes, this time by Blitz slamming open the door and yelling. It says absolutely nothing about how much Stolas does or does not respect him that these actions triggered a trauma response in Stolas. Trauma doesn't work like that. Anyone doing that to Stolas would have made him panic, because when you're experiencing a traumatic reaction, even if you're somewhere safe with someone you implicitly trust, your brain freaks the fuck out.
It was in no way disrespectful to kick Blitz out, it was just Stolas going into extreme Flight mode. Blitz wasn't letting him leave and at the end even ran towards him (to apologize, but Stolas had no way of knowing that and Blitz was already half out the portal before he started to say sorry and didn't even finish it. Also, you hear Stolas very faintly saying he's sorry before the portal closes), of course he's going to force Blitz out! He didn't want a fight with Blitz like he had with Stella, because he wasn't angry, he just wanted to be alone.
"and the immediate dismissiveness the next morning obv didnt fuckin help #cuz blitzø immediately went on the defensive and like yeah he said horrible shit but FUCK DUDE he didnt instigate it! #like yeah stolas doesnt have to sit there and take it EXCEPT HES THE ONE WHO FUCKING INITIATED THE ISSUE? SO YES HE KIND OF DOES HAVE TO#HEAR BLITZØ OUT AND SIT THERE??"
No, he really, really does not have to sit there and hear Blitz out. Stolas made it very clear in actual words that he did not want to see Blitz right then, because he was feeling too raw so soon after everything and Blitz was not giving him any space to breathe. And Blitz, once again, did not leave. He also, you'll notice, didn't force Blitz to leave, he just asked him to go, because this time he wasn't outright panicking. And even then, he kept giving Blitz chances to talk things out with him, showing that he wasn't dismissing Blitz.
Also, you're really telling me that you think a victim of domestic violence should be forced to stick around when someone is yelling at them? It doesn't matter if he "initiated things", that doesn't mean he's going to okay when someone starts grabbing and yelling at him. If Blitz was being calmer about it, and wasn't continually intentionally mocking Stolas and his feelings throughout that conversation (which, again, big trigger for Stolas, he's just hiding it better now because he was braced for it. Note that he's reacting a lot like he did when Stella was mocking him at the party) then I might agree with you. If Stolas had actually instigated the garden scene by telling Blitz to come over and then refused to listen while Blitz tried to explain, that'd be super fucked up. But Stolas didn't ask Blitz to come over, explicitly told him to leave because it hurt to much to talk to him right then, and Blitz was not being calm. Blitz was self-destructing and was being both clingy and aggressive, because he was scared of losing Stolas but was even more terrified of being vulnerable, and he habitually masks his fear with anger.
"#puts my head in my hands. #and all the ppl talking abt ou well its stolas' house so he gets to portal blitzø out! #you are a fucking dick? you cant spring a huge relationship change on somebody and then run off and act the hurt party when they havent even #processed it yet! and then KICK THEM OUT when they understandably get ANGRY at you dismissing them? and HELLO. STOLAS DISMISSES BLITZØ."
Buddy. Dude. Stolas didn't actually spring this on Blitz. Blitz literally says at the beginning of the episode that he's been avoiding Stolas because he knows Stolas wants to talk, and he doesn't want things to become complicated. He knows things will change as soon as he actually talks to Stolas and that freaks him out, because in his mind it can't possibly be something good, and this fear is exacerbated by what Loona told him. He literally tells Fizz that Stolas does things to show he likes him, and multiple people have flat out told Blitz that he does, and Blitz can't believe that for multiple reasons, but this entire thing has been building up for months and he knows it.
Stolas also did not spring his "feelings bullshit" on Blitz either, despite what Blitz claimed. It might have felt like it, because up until then he was in complete denial of those feelings being genuine, but Stolas has not been subtle, by any means. He has, in his and everyone else's minds, been showing Blitz that he cares about him at the very least as a friend, since this whole thing started. Even in fucking Loo Loo Land, despite him awkwardly trying to flirt with Blitz a couple of times, he doesn't actually try to start anything while they're there. He doesn't even seem to expect something sexual to happen between them at all, because he says he wants Blitz and his employees to come and immediately offers to pay Blitz with money, rather than sexual favors like Blitz anticipated. He's using it as an excuse to hang out with Blitz - because he's an idiot who didn't think about how uncomfortable it'd be for literally everyone involved, especially Octavia - and Blitz even knows that because he knows Stolas doesn't actually need one bodyguard, let alone three.
He invited all of them to the harvest moon festival because he thought it'd be fun, again with no expectation of anything sexy happening. He came to rescue I.M.P. with no ulterior motive, he just wanted to help them. He didn't ask for or suggest that he wanted sex in return for the save either, he just asked for a thank you in a very pouty voice because none of them thanked him, and Blitz turned things sexual, which he was happy to follow the lead on. He was super excited for the date, dressed up super fancy, proudly walked into Ozzie's holding Blitz's hand, tried over and over to talk to Blitz because he thought it was a real date, stood up to defend Blitz from Verosika (which Blitz didn't see and which he didn't get to follow through on, because Ozzie took that chance to go on the attack and publicly humiliate him), and even after that disaster he still invited Blitz in solely to hang out and maybe cuddle a bit.
He would ask Blitz to stay the night after they were done having sex instead of just kicking him out, which we see in the memory fragments. He called Blitz on the regular just to talk about his day and was frequently interacting with him on social media, both for approximately a year and a half. He was oblivious to how condescending his attempts at flirting were and had no idea how demeaning it was for Blitz until Blitz finally showed him how much all that hurt him (after Ozzie's), but he only was acting like that and talking that way because he genuinely believed that it was what Blitz wanted and was into, based on their first night together (doesn't excuse it, of course, but it was another way he was desperately trying to show how much he wanted Blitz).
For close to two years by the time The Full Moon rolled around, Stolas has been trying very hard and kind of ineptly to show Blitz he likes him, and at the very least wants to be real friends with him (that also have sex). Literally everyone who has seen them together knows how much Stolas likes Blitz, including Blitz despite him being in denial of it. He has tried again and again and again for nearly two years to show Blitz he cares about him and wants him around, and Blitz - for understandable reasons given his own trauma, history, biases, and hangups - has rejected him time and again. That's why Stolas was expecting Blitz to reject him following his confession. He expected Blitz to tell him to fuck off or to just take the crystal and run without looking back, but he didn't expect to be (unintentionally) mocked. He didn't expect Blitz, who he trusted, to humiliate him. Even without the trauma he has surrounding that, after all the other rejections of course Stolas is going to take Blitz mocking him as another rejection. He didn't think Blitz was confused, because he thinks he's made his feelings pretty damn clear for ages now, and that's why he said he had his answer and was trying to leave before he started crying - which most people hate to do, because crying in front of other people is often a mortifying experience.
"STOLAS DISMISSES BLITZØ.#HES NOT ONE OF YOUR SERVANT IMPS DUDE! HELLOOOO?????? #idk idk idk like stolas was definitely going through it but HOLY SHIT you guys cant be serious when you say it was equal on both sides #when theres a very obvious clear systemic power imbalance. like youre FUCKING WITH ME?? you cant be serious rn"
He wasn't dismissing Blitz. He super fucking did not. He wanted to be alone so he could go cry his guts out, and Blitz was scaring him by getting angry and slamming open doors. That's not dismissing someone, that's going into panic mode. He wasn't treating him like a servant, if he was he would have been bored and unaffected and told him to go. He. Was. Scared. He was hurt and humiliated and scared and Blitz was chasing him down and yelling at him. It's not playing the victim to be scared and it's not playing the victim when your feelings get mocked and you want to get away from the person who just stomped all over your heart.
Blitz's reactions make sense from his end, and absolutely he was being triggered too - he was in fact the one triggered first, though that too was by accident. Yes, his anger was justified and he had every right to express it when he felt he wasn't being listened to. Yes, he wasn't intending to scare Stolas. Yes, Stolas has messed up and hurt Blitz in numerous ways over the course of the series. But my god, that does not mean that Stolas' feelings and reactions are any less justified and reasonable.
It was equal on both sides. They both equally fucked up. They both accidentally hurt and triggered each other. They both were scared. Stolas sending Blitz away was the only thing he could think of to de-escalate the situation, because Blitz was actively trying to pick a fight and Stolas had no idea that Blitz would stop just because he started crying (you think anyone else has ever stopped just because he cried? We literally see both Stella and Paimon mock him for it, and Stolas isn't exactly in a rational sort of mindset here).
Are you really, honestly, truly telling me that you would be fine just standing there and letting someone who just hurt you scream at you in a way that reminded you of both your domestic abuser and the person who recently tried to murder and mutilate you? Are you kidding me? You have completely misinterpreted everything Stolas has said and done in those two episodes by refusing to look at it with any amount of sympathy or compassion and immediately jumping to the worst possible scenario.
"Stolas shouldn't have portalled out Blitz during Full Moon" this and "Stolas should have stuck around and listened to Blitz in the garden during Apology Tour" that. Do y'all not realize how it sounds to demand that a domestic abuse victim stick around when someone is yelling at and insulting them? And on the flip side of that, do the other half of y'all not realize how it sounds to demand that someone, particularly someone from an oppressed group, never get loud or demonstrably angry just because it might scare someone?
Like Blitz had every right to air his grievances in Full Moon, and being angry when you're treated poorly is a perfectly normal, reasonable response. It's not inherently abusive to yell and stomp when you get mad, and it's completely unreasonable to say that Blitz is just because he did. But at the same time, Stolas does not have to sit there and take being yelled at when he's already had to suffer though someone doing it to him maliciously for at least 17 years. He does not have to take being grabbed, being screamed at, or having his clearly stated boundaries ignored either, like at the beginning of Apology Tour. Him getting upset when someone does that to him, when he's only just gotten away from his abuser and was almost murdered for it, is not some failing on his part or him playing the victim.
Blitz's trauma doesn't care that Stolas wasn't actually going to abandon Blitz, and it doesn't care that that the hurtful things Stolas has said and done have come largely from a place of ignorance rather than a lack of care. He's protecting himself the only way he knows how and is blinded by the sheer intensity and longevity of his self-loathing, but frankly it was a good thing for him to finally speak up about how some of the things Stolas does makes him feel, and it's a very good thing that he's actually trying to fight to keep Stolas rather than just booking it and throwing a grenade behind him on the way out.
Just like Stolas' trauma doesn't care if he knows Blitz is different than Stella and wouldn't actually hurt him, and it doesn't care that Blitz's anger comes from a hurt, scared, and traumatized place as opposed to the pleasure Stella took in hurting and scaring him. Stolas hasn't had any time to even begin to heal from the damage she did to him, and frankly if he's scared and breaking down like in Full Moon it's actually a step up if he's removing himself from whoever is triggering him, even if it wasn't fair to Blitz who was, in his own way, attempting to work things out.
Neither of them is the bad guy here, they're just very reasonably upset and having clashing trauma responses. You can be compassionate and understanding of both sides without saying that either of them should have to just sit there and take it when someone is greatly upsetting them. It's normal to get angry when you're scared and upset, and it's normal to cry and run away when you're scared and upset, and neither are wrong or bad just because in the moment when emotions were running high they each did several things that accidently set the other off, especially when they had no way of knowing it was a trigger beforehand.
None of this is say that the way things shook out was great or productive, and they definitely need to work on healing so that they're not letting their fear and trauma control them. If they're going to get to place of real understanding, then at some point these two need to sit down with the intent to talk things out and have an honest and open conversation with each other, without Blitz yelling or Stolas running or either of them letting their preconceived assumptions and biases get in the way of actually listening. Blitz needs to not self-sabotage and Stolas needs to not shut down, and that's going to be really fucking hard for both of them, because that's how they've been coping with their trauma for literal decades.
And to his major credit, Blitz got it right at the end of Apology Tour, the only thing he got wrong was the timing because Stolas was so drunk that I'll be honestly surprised if he remembers most of it in the morning. He wasn't in any state of mind to listen or pay attention, but at the same time, to his credit he's already been reflecting on what Blitz has been saying to him and trying to figure out where and how he fucked up and hurt Blitz. And also, he kept saying things like "right now", which means he will be ready to talk things out eventually if he's just given a little bit of space to put himself back together and think about things.
And guys, please. Just because some people will start crying to try to manipulate and guilt trip those around them whenever someone gets upset at something they did, doesn't make that what Stolas did. He was trying to get away so Blitz wouldn't see him cry. And just because some people like to fly off the handle and rage at every perceived infraction, doesn't make that what Blitz did. He had justifiable cause to be angry and in Full Moon he didn't think Stolas was listening, so he tried to make himself louder and bigger in an attempt to make himself be heard and his hurt be acknowledged. If one of their reactions made you uncomfortable, that's fine, there's nothing wrong with that. But the story isn't about those kinds of people, it's about two fictional demons who aren't trying to hurt or manipulate each other, they're just struggling to juggle trauma, ignorance, and the desire to be together. They're not able to yet, but that's what character arcs are for.
And just to head off any comments on it: no, the narrative is not villifying Blitz and it's not babying Stolas or trying to sweep any of the shit he's done under the rug. Blitz being angry and self-destructive doesn't make him a villain, and Stolas crying a few times and still being pretty ignorant of how he's come across doesn't mean they're trying to say he's done nothing wrong.
#replies#sorry for being so longwinded#but wow#we don't stand for Stolas bashing in this house#we don't stand for Blitz bashing either but that's a bit beside the point in this case
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can someone talk about evil!mc and dark!sebastian sallow please
because there's so much there.
-mc who learned all the dark curses from sebastian and uses them in battles with goblins and dark wizards and mongrels and poachers.
-sebastian who looks at them so proudly when they cast the killing spell like it barely phases them. sebastian who can't help but feel sooo attracted to mc when they use a mix of their ultra powerful ancient magic and forbidden spells.
-mc enables sebastian in his downfall, telling him that yes there must be something in this dark book to help anne and feeding into his energy. mc snatches the book from sebastian and looks at all the dark magic in it, absolutely floored and entranced.
-sebastian who supports mc in taking the ancient magic for themself and loves seeing the bright, glowing red eyes.
-sebastian and mc who take no shit in a fight and make it brutal but quick. i mean...it's right there in the way sebastian tells mc he doesn't like sneaking around in a fight and he'd much rather get into the action.
-they get older and darker and more powerful by the minute. sebastian is such a devoted learner to this stuff that he picks up so much and uses it effortlessly. probably learns how to create his own spells with twisted effects.
-they become feared in the school and feared irl. everyone knows not to mess with the keeper and their devoted, dark arts bf.
i read a fic once that talked ab how brutal and bloody the diffindo spell is but that sebastian is lowk attracted to that and i haven't been able to stop thinking about dark!sebastian.
is this fic worthy someone let me know
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy mc#sebastian sallow#hogwarts legacy fanfic#hogwarts legacy fandom#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x reader#hogwarts legacy x reader#harry potter#harry potter fanfic#harry potter x reader
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mha final volume spoilers
For the past few months I've kinda just come to accept MHA's ending to be whatever. Not the best, but not the worst I've seen it's fine whatever. But seeing the final volume extra content honestly just has me genuinely hating the ending. I'm trying to keep an open mind cuz it's not officially out yet and leaks can be kinda dubious, but I'm genuinely so upset.
Ig the main feeling I have is: genuinely what's the point??? I mean there's a lot of things going on in mha and depending on what you care about ig you could feel like everything's fine and resolved, but personally? Just no. My main problem a few months ago was with Toga's death, but now I'm just even more pissed.
As so many people have probably already discussed: killing the villains off after all this stuff about saving them is a fucking problem right?? With Toga's case specifically (cuz she's my fave and I care the most about her), it's her just dying after she finally found the love and acceptance she's always wanted from Ochako. Like why? Even if you can technically make sense of it with her explanation of "I want to live life as I please", it's just stupid and distasteful. It would be one thing if she said that cuz she was just running away to be free, but to kill her? Of bloodloss of all things? Idc abt people going oh thats sooo poetic, no i think it's stupid. So many other characters have lived after going through worse like for fuck's sake, Edgeshot's still around.
What's the point of that emotional resolution if you don't show the aftermath, of her being able to live happily, or at least how she'll go on with life from then on? She didn't have to die, she could've just escaped or whatever (I was hoping that was the case when there was no mention of Toga's body). But by killing her, the only message I got from mha's whole saving the villains thing is: "sooo maybe having empathy for the deviances of society is important actually, but it's kinda inconvenient to deal with them." And even if that wasn't Hori's exact intention, that's what his story seems to be saying by killing off the villains.
And then the fucking nail in the coffin is the fact that Hori used Toga's death to drive Izuocha. It was one thing when he did it with the cliff talk when Ochako was mourning Toga (I always found it distasteful okay), but it's so much worse to write Toga literally pushing Ochako to Deku. So not only did Hori kill off the queer character who finally had her resolution and romance so he won't have to deal with her, but he's really following through with the Bury the Gays trope by using her o push the girl she loves to a man? Ew.
The worst part is that even if Izuocha got together and they're canon or whatever cuz of that last part, the way Hori did it is so fucking mid. Like seriously, if you were gonna do my girl dirty like that for that het romance, at least make it good?? But noooo. I mean they don't have to be like kissing and getting married and having babies or whatever (that'd just be shit), but at least have them properly get together. What is that "implied romance" ass handshake?? There's no fucking reason to make it implied, they're not queer or forbidden or complicated or anything. Bro just didn't wanna commit to actually fleshing out their romance. And you used Toga and her death for that, for absolutely fucking nothing?? The funniest part is that everything Togachako did is infinitely more romantic than that handshake, so how am I supposed to be convinced by this "implied romance"? (anyone who says implications enough for izuocha I'd say the bar's just on the floor for you cuz they're het)
And then there's Bakugo. I mean I was fine and whatever with the original epilogue, but what the fuck? So you're telling me bro lead Project Deku Hero Suit or whatever for 8 years, only for Deku to reject him when asked to be a part of his agency? It may or may not have been explicitly stated that they'd be in a hero agency together whatever, but I feel like it was a natural conclusion that they'd end up working together/closely as a hero duo? Win to save and save to win, wonder duo defeating ShigAFO together, that hospital talk about competing together for the rest of their lives, him being the one to reach out to Deku at the epilogue chapter, hello? DEKU REJECTED THAT AND FOR WHAT. Also ok fine this may sound stupid to be upset over, but why the fuck is Bakugo rank 15. Like we do just be writing whatever I guess
I'm still holding on to some hope that the leaks were ass and inaccurate. Or maybe even completely fake cuz the chapter's been getting a lot of AI art allegations? Though it's also probable that's just the leaker who used AI to get high res pictures of the leaks. IDK MAN JUST PLEASE DON'T LET THIS BE COMPLETELY ACCURATE PLEASE LET ME STAND CORRECTED
#even if togachakos the actual doomed yuri here it feels like bkdk got hit with unrequited love or smth idk#i was so annoyed abt toga and now im just straight up pissed at hori#bakugo and toga are my faves obviously so thats what i mainly talked about here#but with toga shes a character thats so fucking special to me#her entire story and how its so thematically queer#even if im not into mha much these days she has a really special place in my heart ok#she helped me come to terms with my queerness and shes just so well written hori actually cooked so well#UNTIL HE ACTUALLY HAD TO DEAL WITH THE IMPLICATIONS OF HAVING HER BE GAY WITH OCHAKO SO OH SHIT LETS KILL HER#mha spoilers#bnha spoilers#mha final volume spoilers#toga himiko#togachako#bakugo katsuki#bkdk#not tagging the other ship idc#also dont fight me on this or blahblah on how im losing certain nuances idc i am no longer hyperfixated on mha i do not care to reread shit
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sooo seductive!!!!!!!!
warnings: foodplay, tinyyyy overstimulation, pussy eating/ cunnilingus, tongue piercing, cum play, dirty talk, slight degradation.
synopsis: she so sweet, make her wanna lick the wrapper
18+
There are some things that get under Satoru's sweet skin. When I say that, I don't mean little pet peeves or stupid things that push his buttons- i'm talking full on rage triggers that'll set his blood boiling hotter than the sun. But the one thing about you that drives him absolutely fucking bat shit- his mind just couldn't stop wandering to those lush pink lips of yours. Wrapped so pretty around those big cherry lollipops.
See, you're not hard to see through. Satoru knows the real kind of girl you are. The sorta nasty, cock-crazed vixen who can't keep her pretty lips off anything phallic for more than 5 minutes.
Just yesterday, he caught you doing it again. Slobbering over that big fat cherry loli you love so much. Working that thick candy with your luscious lips in a show meant justttt for him- while he laid back, stroking his meaty cock to the sexy display, something he could never keep his eyes off of.
"Dirty bitch," He'd purred more than once like a cat begging for attention, watching in rapture as a thick saliva-syrup string drip salaciously down your chin, cheeks hollowed as you suck the sweet remnants of your favorite sugary treat off the stick it clings onto.
"Look at you... look at yourself. You love this shit, huh? You love getting all sticky and covered in these dirty treats, doncha babygirl?" He murmur, tilting his head against the headboard of the bed, mouth agape. "Betcha can't wait to get stuffed the proper way, hmm?"
Oh, but you'd just blink those long lashes all faux innocence, feigning shock at his raunchy suggestion. Even if your wandering hand would dip below your skirt, giving that puffy little cunt a few teasing squeezes in anticipation for promises of later.
It's not like Satoru never seen a girl eat candy before. Hell, hoes would do anything for his attention with any amount of suggestive food play. But there's something about you.. and the way you work your fucking lips so casual- like it's fucking nothing. The way your tongue darts out to taste the candy, swirling around. The soft 'pop' when you pull it out your mouth, the way your lips are stained in a deep, kissable, delicious red...
Anyone would lose their mind over that and Satoru for sure has. That mouth was made to suck cock, no question. No doubt. Each time he saw you- all throat on that loli, his traitorous eyes would get all hazy. Couldn't and damn sure wouldn't focus for shit. Between imagining how you'd hollow out those ripe cheeks nice and tight around his thick meat. Or that wicked little tongue swirling around his swollen cockhead, savoring every salty inch with your usual enthusiasm. There was no fucking use in trying to focus on anything but those tantalizing thoughts for the rest of his day. Satoru lost track of how many times he would have to hastily excuse himself to rub one out. Spewing his creamy load all over the place, fantasizing about your cum-splattered face and glazed over eyes, mouth still frozen in a tiny 'O' shape. Satoru's jazzed so many angry, frustrated loads thinking about the juicy lil mouth of yours.
Satoru got home after running errands- and you're at it again, without fail. You looked so fucking good sucking on that dumb loli. Truth be told, Satoru was getting crazy watching you suck that big thing down. So much so that he ended up pouncing, flipping you onto your back with a surprised squeal, smirking wickedly as he tore away your bow panties and pinning those smooth thighs open in one smooth motion.
Knowing Toru', he's never been the one to beat around the bush. He popped the loli from your mouth and immediately dragged the wet loli straight up the length of your drenched slit, parting your swollen folds with it. "That's a good girl... such.. a good girl." He praised mockingly, poking and pressing it against your equally swollen clit.
"Can never get enough of these pretty little holes getting stuffed and stuffed, aint that right, princess?" he drawled, grin cocky as ever.
He grounds the loli harder against your sweet nub, eliciting a yummy mewl from you. "Sooo sensitive, baby.." he purred.
The sweetly-scented lollipop was practically dripping in your dewy essence after just a few sinuous swirls around your entrance. Satoru couldn't resist yanking the lollipop out and bringing the tasty treat to his own lips, moaning in deep satisfaction as he wrapped his pierced tongue around the sugary orb- the most delectable after-taste tang of pussy sugar.
"Mhmm, y'taste s'fuckin good, don't you, you messy little whore?" He groaned in open rapture between messy licks and slurps. "Sweeter than any fucking candy."
After licking up every last drop of your cum from that now useless cherry lollipop, he tossed it aside without a second thought. The sugary treat glaze trickling from your swollen folds down to that adorable lil rosebud that was just begging to be played with. With a heady grunt of real approval, he flattened his broad palms against the supple flesh of your gorgeous thighs, spreading your trembling legs impossibly wider to grant unobstructed access.
"Fuuckkk, look at this greedy-.. mmmfff.." He immediately leaned in, pressing his mouth against your drenched slit, tongue darting out to lap up every drop of your glistening arousal like it was a last meal. The metal ball of his piercing dragged over your swollen nub in agonizingly slow circles, drawing out those beautiful broken whimpers.
"That feel good, baby?" He whispered between slurps, flattening his tongue against you, sounding like a true animal as he growled and breathed heavily against your cunt.
#anime#jjk fanfic#jujustsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen#fanfic#jjk smut#jujutsu sorcerer#jjk fluff#jjk x reader#jjk#gojou satoru x reader#gojo smut#gojo headcanons#jujutsu gojo#jjk gojo#gojo x reader#gojo saturo#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#jujutsu satoru#jjk satoru#satoru gojo x reader#satoru x you#jujutsu kaisen satoru#daddy's good girl#so hot and sexy#cute#fantasy
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Oooo jumping off the previous anon ask, do you have any websites/books that good for reference that you’d recommend?? Or is a simple Google search/going from there good enough to start with
I’ve always been interested in uniforms n stuff but idk where/how to actually FIND info (especially for accuracy) but idk if Wikipedia/Google is the best for that lol
i’ve talked about this (here) and (here) before, but i will elaborate a bit more (a lot more) for you!
again my first response is to ask, what kind of uniform are u looking for? bc there’s just more info on some types than others. like, ww2 american paratroopers? sooo so so much stuff out there, maybe bc there was a wildly successful miniseries that is often listed as one of the best tv shows ever made and it mythologized the paratroopers and now everyone has a big ol boner for them and their uniforms and you can’t got two searches deep without tripping over those jump boots (said w all the love in my heart). but that being said, sometimes just a google search is enough!
this is where being familiar w each of the components of the uniform comes in handy. like oh damn i need ref of that one specific small pouch the marines have on their guns, what was that called?? oh duh it’s a carbine butt stock pouch, sometimes they wore it on their belt, i can just google that and get the exact result i want
buutttttt sometimes the online sources/pics u get are undated/unlabeled, and you have to piece together what ur looking at based on ur own knowledge of a uniform. this is especially true the older you go, and ive run into this issue with ww1 stormtrooper uniforms specifically, where you don’t have an exact date and u have to be like “welllllll i can’t be 100% sure if this is from early or late war, if this is german or austrian, but it’s close enough to what i need and i can’t find any other source that even comes close and ive spent four hours looking so im going to use this” and then you get someone in ur dms like “well actually 🧐 they didn’t wear those specific suspenders/have that patch on their uniforms/use that limited issue pouch in this theater” and then you feel kind of silly. but it’s like damn dude i spent hours looking for ref and found the only like five jpegs still remaining of this uniform pls cut me some slack. ig this is just me saying that i dont get it right all the time and inevitably there will be someone out there who has a better grasp on it and will clock your tiny error from 200 yards
to stop my pointless rambling and actually get to your question, google is a pretty good place to start but u gotta know what to be looking for. wikipedia can b helpful for kind of an intro/getting names of items. pinterest is a big one for me, i mostly like that you can save pics and organize them. i’d also check out reenactment websites/forums; those guys are dedicated to being 100% accurate and can also provide some good action shots. youtube is also a resource that i forget exists haha. following artists who are into that kind of shit, taking notes from the uniforms they draw (careful w this one, as i said earlier even ppl who draw uniforms a lot still mess up occasionally). honestly any big website is bound to have some military history enjoyers and so u can do a general search and see what comes up, that can help point to users/a community that will often have their own sources/discussions that can be helpful. ive said it before but watching movies/shows about the specific era ur looking for is great, you can see how a uniform sits and moves with a person 👍
also books! there isn’t a single catch all book for uniforms, again (again) it’s all by era/country you’re looking for. ebay is GREAT for finding super specific books on topics only you and five other people care about. sometime u can get lucky at an old used book store but that’s a real gamble and only happens veryyyyyy rarely hahah
i always use these sorts of references in tandem and double check to be sure, i swear i have like 12 tabs open and two books open per drawing just so i can get everything as close to accurate as i can. but like ive said im kind of obsessive about details (negative) and can’t be chill about anything ever. what a super cool and very practical skill set that makes me very popular amongst my peers and interests everyone once i have two beers and won’t shut up about it
ending this with my standard “did any of this make sense?” i’m going to turn on my computer now and spend the next eight hours staring at reference pics and drawing my silly little war boys have a great day everyoneeeeeeeee
#asks#anon#reference#i talk like i actually know shit but im tripping over myself constantly#my workflow is genuinely a “damn bitch you live like this?” situation
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it always gets me when ppl try to paint timkon as nerd/jock. like i mean you could, but here's the thing. tim is the jock. kon is the nerd.
#rimi talks#tim ''enjoys going to ballgames'' drake vs kon ''will physically drop dead if he doesn't infodump about star trek'' el.#now granted like the dichotomy isnt ACTUALLY all that fitting (as many dichotomies aren't really) bc like. kon loves to surf#and tim IS a dork-ass loser who geeks out about gadgets machines and especially cars#but i mean if anyone's gonna start infodumping about biophysics it's kon. he doesnt even know he's explaining masters-level shit#hes just like yeah this is how everyone at cadmus talked all the time so i picked it up lol!#but between the two of them tim is SOOO much sportier lbr#of course. to realize this you'd have to think critically beyond hurr durr the taller broader one MUST be a jock. but yknow.#timkon
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"[high pitched and tinny] Let’s dive in. Let’s dive in. It’s time to dive in. Get ready to [audio distorts and slows] dive. Diiive. Diiiiie…" (The Road to PALISADE 20: City Planning Department)
so that's what i've been working on for the past 2 weeks! i wanted to draw something for this intro ever since i first listened to it (as a companion piece to my other gur drawing, though it of course ended up being way bigger in scale), but it only really gripped me about halfway through PALISADE ep 18. the next morning after that i listened to this narration on repeat for about 45 minutes and then made a big sketch on 4 sheets of paper at my desk at work.
anyways, i haven't listened to the new episode yet but i think i'm probably ready for whatever they're gonna throw at us with the next sortie. i'm gonna believe, against it all, in millennium break. for gur
(i recommend listening along while scrolling! + transcript btw. if anything is hard to read)
#road to palisade#road to palisade spoilers#palisade#fatt#friends at the table#gur sevraq#<- yuore everything btw.#long post#and good god. it sure as fuck is#rosa art#the full file for this? that i had to split up? its 30000 pixel tall. thats 218cm#im so proud of this & it was a ton of fun. ooohhh my free floating panels i love them#i posted about my progress (theres some earlier sketches n lineart too) on cohost to be like well.#maybe i wont talk so fucking much on the actual post but noooo i cant shut up#love that for me.shoutout if you read all this#if you find a typo please. dont even mention it#a fun thing about this is that i almost know the intro by heart now. theres like 3 lines i get stuck on but mostly. its all there#ill link the cohost if i reblog this again. personally i think its interesting stuff but i love to hear myself talk abt shit i make soooo#anyways i have art class tomorrow & should sleep soon : ) but im happy im finally able to show this off. it rules sooo much
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Ah! Love a respectful disagreement. This is gonna be a longer response, probably!
So I think Louis' femininity comes up explicitly a few times. The little "its chiffon, it has movement" and Madame Pointe du Lac's observations about his changed appearance post-changing and of course, my favorite, the "be in the coffin, i'll fuck you while i read etc etc" wherein we see Louis decide he needs to be the "man" again and the show explicitly references Louis topping (possibly the only time show says anything explict about what position anyone is fucking in??). Now of course we know that the act of topping isn't inherently feminine/masculine etc but that's a narrative that has to be pushed back again. Being the penetrating partner has been casted as the "masculine" roll for uhhhh centuries, even if that isn't necessarily true practically.
But more than that, the show can't help but be in a conversation about Louis' femininity implicitly. Some of the very first scenes we see of Louis is of this hard, violent man who literally controls women's bodies. He's The Patriarch -- literally, as the oldest in the family and the one who runs the businesses. And its all an act, one that drains and depresses him -- I think you and I are in agreement there. But to me, and this is maybe where we diverge? I'm really interested in what Louis is repressing. The mask he pulls on is The Patriarch, and what's left when the mask is put down is a man who loves art for arts sake and dresses softly and has lofty philosophical discussions (all things that, in our modern age are coded as feminine [and to Louis' in universe as effete]). And the mask is put down when Louis feels free and safe and empowered -- I'm arguing that the show is associating a more feminine-ly coded Louis with the "good times" of Paris. Also, something something, queer theory, pleasure in the abject and in rejection of hegemony etc etc that's not my ministry but i know enough to know that there's something going on there.
Also, I don't think you can make a show about gay men in the modern age and not immediately entire into a conversation about gender--identity, presentation, etc. Particularly gay men who are participating in things like art/fashion/music. Even if they weren't femininely coded at the time (which, even if they weren't -- these guys are having sex which means we are, again, in a conversation about perceptions of femininity and how they feel about it), these codings mean something to the way the viewer is watching the show and processing these characters actions.
To me, the way Louis is involved in that conversation is really interesting! I'm really excited to see how Jacob plays Louis in the modern age and if they dig into what it means to be a many centuries old gay man! Does he flip when someone refers to him as "girl"? Does he take a deep, relieved breath when he realizes no one is going to bash Lestat for prancing around getting glitter on everything? Is he clocking the intricacies of the ways Black queer men and Black women are mimicking and borrowing and sharing culture (I won't hold my breath for this one, lol)?
Ultimately, god i'm sorry this is so long, I really disagree with the idea that investigating Louis' femininity isn't investing in the nuances of his character. I...don't love every way this shows up in fanworks and its not like this, like anything else, can't take on racist or homophobic vibes but I do think that is an aspect of his character, a big one tbh, and being curious about it is actually really really good--for the show and for depictions of queer Black men in the media on the whole.
Re: rockstar girlfriend Louis. The trend of feminizing Louis is just irking in general. Especially as it's more often than not a way to make him helpless than be critical about it.
He didn't like being compared to a tradwife or a woman back then and he definitely doesn't like it now. I just think it's a little in bad taste that this is so rampant.
Yeah, I mean, the bits I've seen of it have been pretty fascinating to me, but I have heavily curated my fandom experience, so I'm very aware I'm probably seeing broader conversations pretty minimally. It seems to spread across different aspects of the fandom too, from the ratio of mpreg fic on ao3 to meta about him as embodying the gothic heroine trope, which like - - I'm not going to get all into this, but as someone who studied gothic literature at university for years, I just don't agree with it at all - like, in terms of character archetypes within gothic literature, Louis is a Byronic hero through and through:
Historian and critic Lord Macaulay described the [Byronic Hero] as "a man proud, moody, cynical, with defiance on his brow, and misery in his heart, a scorner of his kind, implacable in revenge, yet capable of deep and strong affection"
The show is interested in gender, and I can't wait to see what they do with Gabrielle in terms of that thread given Gabrielle is very much gender non-confirming and can be read arguably as trans-masc, but right now, I don't think any of the characters we've seen are anything other than cis (including Lestat) and I think to reject that is to ignore the complexity of their relationships with their own gender. Which is important! There's a reason Claudia is the one who's been robbed of choice, controlled and coerced by both her fathers, not just Lestat, the one who doesn't get to be heard at the trial, or in her life, the one who's infantilised, stuck in dresses she's too old for, the one who's killed. That's important, y'know?
I do think a lot of Louis' issues around his gender are tied pretty specifically to his sexuality, and I don't think he relates to or understands women at all. Like you could make a pretty concise argument that Louis has a virgin/mother/whore complex when it comes to women, which you see in Claudia and Grace/Florence/Antoinette + in his role as a pimp. And I think people take that dual insult of Claudia calling him a housewife and Grace calling Lestat Louis' 'white daddy' as literal, when like - - in both instances they are deliberately insulting / emasculating him either for the sake of it or to goad him into action? They're tender spots for him not because he relates, but because he knows that's how its perceived and he hates that he/it is perceived that way. He's always been an ambitious businessman, so the housewife insult stings on its own, but the white daddy thing taps into what even Daniel Hart was saying about the fact that there is a transactional element to Louis and Lestat's relationship, which is why I find it super interesting that heading into s3, Louis is not only successful, but completely financially independent.
But yes, I think feminising Louis in general just completely shoots over the nuance of his character and honestly, a lot of what makes him so interesting.
#iwtv meta#i love talking about this shit sooo much!#a lot of this crosses over into my specific love of bottom!Louis as a trope#but also fully acknowledging that some people are just writing that cause its what gets their rocks off
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I’m going to paint you a picture of modern communication, and how it is fundamentally broken.
Let’s look at one friend. You chat pretty much everyday, and mostly talk to this person on twitter and discord, with occasional tumblr DMs. That’s three places you talk. But that’s actually not true, because you also have each other’s priv twitters and talk there as well. That’s four. Now account for, let’s say, one post reply per account per person, in addition to your DMs. That’s eight. But that’s ALSO not true, because not only do you talk in discord DMs with each other, but you’re in a friend group server as well! And you talk in those channels together! That’s nine.
This is one friend.
Now look around you. How many friends, how many mutuals are you in contact with. A few, a handful, a dozen, more? How many accounts per person do you have, how many places can you send each other posts, devolve into separate topics and conversations? How many people text you as well. Friends, family, coworkers? What do you do day to day around catching up, what IRL commitments will rip you away long enough to let the pile build again?
I can’t do it. I cannot live an actual life in the real world and balance this much interaction, it’s crushing. I reply to a friend’s post because I’m interested in the subject, I want to have a discussion! I WANT to talk about it with them, but I immediately kick myself for adding another conversation to the pile. Day by day, I ignore messages for hours on end and watch mountains pile around me, to reply en masse at the end of the night to let the cycle repeat. I wake up to six discord DMs and as I clear the third, the first replies back again.
We weren’t meant to have thirty simultaneous conversations. We weren’t. And you know in your bones that the number isn’t an exaggeration.
#hush catríona#this is essentially copy pasted from my twt last week but made a touch more coherent#iiiii spiral about this pretty regularly. i think this is the 4th or 5th time ive gone on this spiel bc its agonizing#i feel horrific guilt for ignoring messages for so long. and its absolutely voluntary. but i cant FUNCTION like this i cant DO it#i have friends where we talk Every Single Day and i LOVE them so much. so unfathomably much. but it KILLS me#hell take my roomie for example. one of my fav ppl in the world. we text- twit dm- discord dm- ig dm- reply to posts. thats five right?#i guess!!! but we also LIVE TOGETHER. i see them in real life and talk to them out loud with my voice and its still this much to add on!!!!#and i feel like nobody else talks abt this shit and it makes me feel crazy. am i the only person completely debilitated by this???#i dont want this to come across as like ‘boohoo we get it ur sooo popular’ that is NOT what this post means#i think a lot of ppl big acct or small. fandom or otherwise. talk to a dozen ppl online. and i dont get how anyone copes#this is agony. and every single time i ever make a post? its another opportunity to add to the pile#i only reply to comments on posts on twt and this is why. i cant DO it i cant keep up. i see every tag and im so grateful but i cant ever#reach out. i cant add to the pile. theyre already taller than me
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Long Post about Savage Opress because I am Normal
Savage Opress, you are everything.
You are at your strongest when you are fighting to protect the people you love. You had to participate in a battle royale and subjected yourself to a fate worse than death in order to protect your brother. You were forced to kill the brother you fought so hard to protect, your last words to him as he begged for his life were 'You make (me) weak'.
You are Frankenstein's monster, a kinslayer. You just have to live with that. Your mistress isn't giving you a choice in the matter.
You were placed under the control of a cruel master/mistress twice in the span of like a week. You were forced to betray your master and (under your mistress's orders) you killed two jedi, making you an enemy of the two most powerful entities in the galaxy. You made these enemies against your own will. You were lightning spammed and abused to the point that you were able to break free of your mistress's control.
You are then attacked by these two random jedi you have never met. They seem intent on bringing you in. They stand besides each other and fight to protect each other. You are reminded of how you did the same for your own brother. You killed that brother.
You run to the only home you've ever known, the same home that treated you as lesser-than and transformed you into what you are now. Your home is destroyed, all of your sisters are dead. You are upset by this. They were the cause of your suffering, but they were still kin.
You are told that you have a remaining brother, one who can make you strong enough to protect yourself. You decide to travel across the galaxy to find him. You killed your last brother, you will do anything for this one.
You seem to create trouble everywhere you are now. You are now incapable of solving problems without violence, so violence is what you become. You become hatred. You had love once, but everything that you loved is dead. Except for your remaining brother. You do whatever you must to find him.
You find your brother. Your brother is delirious and half-dead, but he is your brother and you found him. You can fix this. Your brother sees you too, or at least he sometimes does. You are a reflection of him, of what he was meant to be. You are strong and powerful. Your brother is not anymore, but he will be soon.
Your mother, the same woman who took you and warped you into a monster (that is what everybody calls you now), fixes your brother. Your brother grabs your face and twists it, painfully examining your every pore. You don't begrudge him this. You have done the same to it. Your face isn't yours, but it is the only face you have.
Your brother screams for vengeance against Kenobi, he must have revenge. You must stand by your brother, he is all that is left. You embark on a quest of vengeance against a man you only briefly met.
You become everything your brother needs you to be. You are his protector, his sword, his second-in-command. You have love again and you will do anything to keep it this time.
Your brother is a terrible person. Your brother will massacre a village for the sake of getting Kenobi's attention. Your living brother is nothing like the one you killed. You aren't sure this is a good thing.
Your brother lures Kenobi to the village and you both capture him. Your mistress shows up and immediately sets about belittling you. You are the monster she and your mother created. You are not her thrall anymore, you can fight her now. You do exactly that.
Your mistress and Kenobi retreat, your brother chooses to bide his time. You will wait with him.
Your brother and you infiltrate a ship, finding a fortune of credits. You are happy with this, you have never seen this much money in your life. Your brother's only fortune is the downfall of Kenobi.
Your brother calls you apprentice, decides that is what your relationship is now. You don't see the need for dominance, you are brothers after all. Your brother disagrees and you will subject yourself to this for your brother's sake. You are a reflection of him, of all his past flaws. You are devoted to those you love and able to feel things other than vindictive glee or hatred. Your brother is not anymore, he might never be again.
You think your brother is incapable of love. You love him all the same.
You and your brother next run into Kenobi with another Jedi Master. You do not know her name nor anything about her. You kill her, goring her with your (far larger than they should be) horns and running her through with your lightsaber. Your master is not forcing your hand this time, you can finally choose to make an enemy of the Jedi. You would have been their enemy either way, but the false choice is comforting regardless.
You and your brother corner Kenobi. You think for a moment that you have gotten the upper-hand, then Kenobi cuts your arm off. Your body leaks green magic. Your mother's magic still holds power over you even after everything. You wish it didn't.
Your brother shoves Kenobi away from you and decides to retreat. You aren't sure if this is a sign of affection towards you or if this is a strategic move. Your brother speaks as if it's the latter. You see no reason to believe otherwise.
You manage to escape, but are left adrift in space. You are freezing and slowly running out of oxygen. Your home was warm and full of breatheable air. You are alone with only a brother who calls you 'apprentice' for company. Your home was filled with brothers who called you by your name or by 'brother'. You are alive. Your home and brothers are dead.
You next wake up in an unfamiliar place. You smash all the equipment around you. You are now incapable of solving problems without violence, so violence is what you have become. Your brother informs you that his plans have changed, and now you two will be working with Deathwatch. You have no idea what Deathwatch is or who your brother just made a deal with. You will follow him regardless.
You stand up and hit your head on the lamp above you. You were supposed to be shorter than you are now. Your body is wrong. You look in the mirror and you are not yourself. Your body isn't yours, but it is the only body you have.
Your brother takes over Mandalore. You watch as your brother marches Kenobi into the throne room and prepares to execute the Duchess of this planet.
Kenobi offers sympathy. Kenobi recognizes that your brother never had a choice in joining the dark side. Kenobi had gone to your village and seen what it is like for the nightbrothers. Kenobi, despite everything, is trying to be kind.
You hear your story in Kenobi's words. You never had a choice in any of this. You never stood a chance. Your body isn't yours, your mind has been warped and twisted into serving the goals of another. You only wanted to protect your brother.
Your brother kills the love of Kenobi's life. Your brother has stripped himself and you of any possible chance to take the olive branch Kenobi was extending. You ask if you should kill Kenobi now. You know that stewing in grief and guilt can be a terrible fate. Your brother decides to keep him imprisoned. Your brother is counting on the Kenobi stewing in his grief and guilt. Your brother wants to drag out his suffering for as long as possible.
Your brother is in charge for less than a rotation. Your brother panics and bows before a withered old man, calling him 'master'. Your brother lies and fawns to his master. Your brother's master does not care.
You have never met this man before. You have no reason to fight him. Your brother is terrified of him. Your brother grovels before nobody, but he bows before this man. You don't have to do this.
Your brother needs you. You draw your weapon.
You manage to get a hit in on your brother's master. You are one of very few in the galaxy who can say that. You are at your strongest when you are fighting to protect the people you love.
You are stabbed in both your hearts. Your efforts to protect your brother, your pain and suffering, your love and affection, you, Savage Opress, you don't matter. You didn't know it, but you were fighting the most powerful being in the galaxy.
You never had a choice. You never stood a chance.
You die thinking you were unworthy of your brother. Your brother never said or did anything to make you think otherwise. You die calling yourself apprentice, that is the relationship your brother wanted. Your brother holds your hand as you die, it is trembling. You aren't sure if it is from grief or hatred. You decide it must be the latter. Your brother is only capable of hatred.
You knew your brother was incapable of love. You loved him all the same.
You don't know that you might have been the only thing your brother cared about besides his vengeance. You don't know that when you are unconcious he calls you by your name, he calls you brother. You don't know that he nearly killed the Death Watch soldiers, but stopped when they threatened you. You couldn't know. Your brother never told you.
You don't know that he uses his grief as fuel for his duel with Sidious. You don't know that he switches his ire away from Kenobi and decides that his former master is a more pressing target of his hatred You don't know that he spends the rest of his days trying to find a new apprentice to fill the hole you left and that it never works. You will never know. You are dead.
You died realizing you were nothing like your brother. You never were. Your body shrinks down, you finally look like yourself again. You can't be happy about this. You can't take relief in the fact that all the magic which ruined your life has been dispelled. You can't feel anything. You are dead.
You are right. You are nothing like Darth Maul. Your brother is motivated by hatred, you are motivated by love. Your brother will die having found peace, you died having found nothing but pain and grief and yet more pain.
You are my favorite magical girl and you have suffered so much more than Jesus.
#star wars the clone wars#Savage Opress#darth maul#obi wan kenobi#star wars#the clone wars#hey guys I think I have a new special interest#this is very bad. I have enough.#Savage isn't even my favorite Star Wars character. and I have THIS MUCH TO TALK ABOUT IN ONE POST#He IS my favorite character who doesn't make it out of Clone Wars. He is a CW only character and I am sad about that#When I heard that Maul was supposed to hallucinate him in Twins Suns but it was cut for time...AGONY#I get it but AGONY#But fr Savage is actually the most tragic character to me specifically.#this is obviously a lot of extrapolation from the stuff we're given in canon/my interpretation of it#but Savage is never allowed to emotionally react to things or even think about what's happened to him sooo#and Ventress never really explains how nightsister shit works either soooo idk I'm doing my best here#I haven't even touched on the fact that the transformation seems to have fucked with his intellect as well#his body isn't his and neither is his fucking mind. oh my god this man#he is a disability metaphor to me <3#you'd think I'm in love with this man the way I talk about him but I'm literally not into him at all I'm a fucking lesbian#I just think he's neat and also really sad and also jfc WHY AREN'T MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THIS MAN????#I will also never be over Obi-Wan trying to empathize with Maul as Maul is about to kill Satine. He is so fucking cool actually#And I will never not yell at the screen about how Savage would have been a good Jedi but he never got the FUCKING CHANCE#I'll stop now
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One thing that I'm afraid about for the next Zelda game is that nintendo is clearly going down the botw route for future titles. I loved botw and totk, but to me these two games HIGHLY prioritized gameplay rather than story. Ocarina of time created a formula for its future zelda titles that in my eyes prioritized story over gameplay (now the quality of the stories could be debated aksjdbakbd)
Overall i just hope the zelda team finds a REALLY good balance between the two
#totk's story WAS better told than botw#but....i did sort of enjoys botw's story more simply because of the story building#that totk really lacked#example: it was fun to imagine the shit that happened 100 years ago#rather than zelda's time in the past with the Zonai#and i will forever say the mystery of the Zonai was really killed off. I loved Rauru and Mineru but i feel like....#the story would've been the same if they weren't Zonai and we just hylians#you know what i mean?#anyways#is this a rant? kind of#pre-calamity era had sOOO much tension and emotions that I loved thinking about#zonai era....kinda didn't#it attempted to but i couldn't really connect#i wish there was a scene between ganondorf talking to zelda just so she could be like “holy shit uh this is dangerous.....”#OKAY RANT OVER NOW FR#Sorry for sooo many long posts today#a lot of my mind#zelda#totk#botw#loz
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i talk SUCH a big game but if the way i interact with fictives is anything to go off of i'm actually a liar and a coward
#martzipan#marzi#it should be noted that i treat kmda fictives like i would anyone else i just get.#DEEPLY embarrassed when they learn i'm a freak about their source#i talk so much shit abt how easily i'd make him fall in love with me. and i believe it i really do#but also i think if he ever DID make his way into the real world my faggot ass would be sooo nervous
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#I've read some of you talking about your irls reaching out#Positive and negative thinga#And I'm... In the middle#I haven't hidden my love for 1D since it took over my life 3 years ago#So the people that know me know this about me#Granted they probably know more about Louis but still#One of my closest friends was a bit insensitive at first and I just couldn't reply#She then sort of came through and has been checking in#I don't think she realized how much it mattered to me#Then I told my best friend who's still back home#I also don't think she understood how important they are to me#She hasn't checked in again but she has sooo much shit on her plate that I don't even blame her although it still... A little bit#But I'm also like trying not to think they actually knew how seriously important these bois are to me#Anyway. Another friend... I saw him right after I found so I was still very much in shock and he knows about them and my deep connection#Saw him the next day he hugged me and asked me how I was and this was after the shock wore off and I had cried all night#I almost broke down again... But he hasn't checked in again and I'm a bit sad about it#Someone I met briefly in the summer and got to talking about the bois reached out and asked and I was glad they did#My sister has been checking in which has been very nice#Again... Idk... I don't need them to understand or be all over me asking or anything#It's just... Yeah.#And it just reinforces my gratitude for this space and the friends I've made the past couple of years#I have no idea where I'd be if I didn't have this and you all#But then again... The biggest reason I'm still in this community is the people I've met#So of course I would always have you here#Understanding something that outsiders could never#It's like trying to explain why Louis is so important to me... If you don't feel you won't get it#Rambles ramble#My eyes hurt
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I was rewatching librarians and realised that when Baird mentions Ezekiels other file, the others aren't around, which means she must have vaguely mentioned it again in front of or at least near the other LITs before they ask him about him in the truth chamber scene
#also the way that ezekiel lets cassandra tell all her deepest darkest secrets to him to keep the door open to him is soooo#like its so them#ezekiel doesnt like sharing things about himself#especially not SECRETS#and cassandra has more dark secrets than youd expect and ezekiel is unphased about this information#even when shes telling him crazy shit hes just listening boredly#he doesnt care that she apparantly murdered a small animal? im assuming the thing she watched the light in its eyes go out was a hamster#hopefully#but theres so much to unpack about this episode like aaaa#duh theres lots to unpack about Stone#but also just this one scene says sooo much about ezekiel and cassandra toooooooo#aughhh i love this show so much#ezekiel just...knows all of cassandra's secrets now#and he doesnt even care#hes so chill about it too#but he never chimes in to help because hed rather die then share more secrets about himself than he has tooooo#i love them#the librarians#ezekiel jones#cassandra cillian#eve baird#we dont talk about zeke and cass in this episode enough#sorry these tags should have been a separate post lmao
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i’m very happy currently :)
#dating this new person and holy shit i like them so much and they like me a lot too :))#all i wanna do is talk to them and cuddle and make out#can’t wait to spend all of therapy talking about them today#we hung out on both sunday and monday which was crazy to me cuz i like never do that#but they make me so happy#and they keep saying that i make them so happy#and we just compliment each other all the time and it feels sooo good#i love making them all flustered they’re so cute omg#i’m seeing them again friday but it feels so far away honestly but it’s only three days#where’s that post that’s like ‘gay people don’t know how to flirt it’s always ‘there’s a rope attached to my chest and it’s pulling me-#-towards you’’#phoenix talks
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so.
#i just remembered todays a year since my uncle passed and like. its been A Day like its been A Few Weeks because its been A Few Months and#its been a few Years and so on.........and then i remembered that at like 9pm.#and i didnt like rmr his birthday bc i was so Worried about forgetting it that i Actually forgot and like.#ive been so focused on doing things w everyone in my family lately to like. Exist w them while i can#like esp going thru so much w my grandma and like helping my dad with her#and like. i think a lot about how my grandma has forgotten so much SOOO much already like its not like im talking to my Grandma anymore#anyways . thats another can of worms#but#anyway all that aside . i feel like . watching him go thru his whole life battling the same shit i do but like he fell so so deep#into his addiction bc his life had so much fucking trauma and like. he literally told my mom before he passed like a few weeks#before he entered a sudden fucking coma that he may have never had any luck w like finding love#(and bad luck isnt enough like his love life was a horror show GENUINELY LIKE#there would be a horror movie about it and itd be so fuckig BLEAK like its so bad) but hes always felt very loved#. so . at least i remembered ?#anyways . ill prolly delete this post later im just . Whoa dude! haha#using my blog as my journal as always dont mind me
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