#i love my friends on discord... that's a Me Time space not a public space
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I don't know if you use discord but if you did would you ever consider making a server for enjoyers of your world building?
it would feel strange to me. i can blog into the ether all i like but i don't think i would be comfortable doing the equivalent of lecturing in an enclosed space. plus because of my time zone it would be very difficult to moderate this server without getting other people to be mods and i just don't have the time or ability to do any of that. i can barely speak to the very patient people who actually try to talk to me on discord and adding a bunch of new messages would overwhelm me fast (and i am already constantly at my threshold of Can't Talk Anymore as-is - the reason i keep posting here is because i'm not talking TO anyone, so it doesn't take a heavy toll on me)
i also just don't prioritise a lot of the things i post about here on this blog... i'll be so real with you, all of this is just what i do to procrastinate from writing my books. so doing upkeep for this blog AND a discord server when i kind of barely care about the topic at hand would be anti-motivational to me.
#i love my friends on discord... that's a Me Time space not a public space#if i was true to my actual constant focus then it would be inver 24/7 365#but i can't talk about that either because i am in a hell of my own making (writer)
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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“WHAT WE MOURN FOR THE DEAD IS THE LOSS OF THEIR HOPES.”
I never thought I’d make this post. Any time I imagined a One Direction member dying, I pictured myself weathered and grey. This was an eventuality that wasn’t supposed to be actualized until the boys and I had lived full lives. To have to come to terms with Liam’s death—his perpetual absence moving forward—in my mid twenties feels absurd. I wrote a long thing the day after I found out, so I’ve already gotten some thoughts out. I’m going to try and keep this short. I likely won’t succeed.
Liam was kind. If he’s remembered for anything, I hope it’s that. I know he helped out with food banks in London during lockdown because there were photos of him packing boxes, but I didn’t know until now how much money he gave them. £80,000 without any publicity. And it wasn’t a one-time donation. He kept working with various orgs to help food insecure people. In the week leading up to that unfortunate Wednesday, he gave away thousands to fundraisers—primarily set up to help people with severe illnesses. He’d been part of Soccer Aid for years. He was involved with anti-bullying campaigns. He worked with Rays of Sunshine to make hundreds of sick children happy. Over the years, he also donated to nonprofits that help children in Gaza and other places. The T-shirt he designed for Choose Love has garnered nearly £200,000; Choose Love has been working with the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund and Medical Aid for Palestinians to provide desperately needed aid in Gaza. Liam understood the value of his wealth, and what his social responsibility was. He did his part to make this world better.
All that without taking into account everything Liam did for us. The youtube videos he started during quarantine because it was a way to distract people, give them something to look forward to. His comedic timing was something special. The discord server where he talked to fans and highlighted their creative endeavors. His livestreams, the endless culture-defining tweets he made. I still see people laughing about his tweets. We all remember Mrs. Horan, yes? I mean, go all the way back to TwitCams. Just google the phrase and one of the first videos you get will be Liam’s. From day one, he took it upon himself to make sure the fans were happy. That we felt seen, heard. And he kept One Direction alive for us, on occasion at a great personal cost. He performed deep cuts we’d never seen sung live, he was always so enthusiastic about everyone else’s projects, he never shied away from talking about the band—because it made us happy. He knew what the band meant to us, the blend of hope and nostalgia many of us clung to, and he held on with us. For us. The masses ridiculed him for his clinginess, and he didn’t let go—for us. I’m sure he knew there are those of us for whom the name One Direction still means everything. And how right he was. Look at the global charts for the past two weeks. We’ve made history again. Because of Liam. He had been the glue holding a lot of the fandom together, whether people realized it or not. He brought us all together again in the most heartbreaking of ways.
One Direction came into my life at a time when I was becoming lonelier by the day. I had moved to a new country two years prior, and I didn’t yet have many friends because I knew only enough English to get by at school. Outside of school, I had no friends. They were all back home in the place I’d left. All I had was my two siblings—and when you’re 13 years old, your 14 yr old sister is hardly the person you want to spend all your time with. I didn’t have space for me, to do and to be something that was just mine.
Then I found 1d through a girl at school and they became that something for me. I bettered my English by watching them talk. I found this community because of them, and I have learned so much from being a part of it. So many wonderful people have touched my life because of them over the years, some I’ve fallen out of touch with and some I hung out with just this month. They—and, by extension, Liam—have made me wealthy in friendship.
Claudia, Ingrid, Mery; Thank you for putting up with my insanely specific demands and making headers for me. Ingrid, you’ve been so patient about teaching me how to gif. Mery, I still have your rec list for learning Spanish saved in my notes app. The TPWK print you gifted me hangs on my wall. Cloudy, do you remember that lineart you made of me? I still have it. You’ve all been so kind to me.
Rafa; You have no idea how much you’ve helped build my confidence as a writer. Lyab is a thing of the past now, but those hours you spent fleshing out the details of that fic are priceless to me. I’d never written anything so ambitious before. And, frankly, I don’t think I would’ve attempted a novel if I hadn’t written a 100k fic—which I couldn’t have done without your encouragement. I think this is my first time telling you I finished the first draft of my novel in September. Thank you <3
Yas; Beloved you are so dear to me. You have shown me such kindness over the years, at times I wondered what I had done to deserve it. Not many people check in with me the way you do. I value your presence in my life beyond words. You have so much love and affection to give, and I’m glad I get to receive so much of it.
If I wrote a personal note to everyone who’s in my life because of Liam we’d be here for hours and hours. Jess, Bella, Alex, Jack, Hayley, Hope, Soni, Kayla, Sara, Arsh, Tina, Ola, Cristal, Kylee, Hana, Ali, Antonise, Clare, Abby, Nina, fnh, mert, people I don’t follow anymore, everyone who’s come into my life because of liam—I love you. Literally every single person I follow should be named here because I wouldn’t even be on this website if it weren’t for 1d. You’re all so special to me.
I still can’t believe Liam is gone. I was at the grocery store and it hit me that it’s real, and I thought, no, there’s no way. It feels so fucking weird having this invisible hole in my life that’s never going to go away. But I’ll always be grateful for everything Liam brought into my life. I know I’ll grow old with a whole bunch of you in my life—I’ve already spent a decade with some of you in my life—and I wish Liam got to grow old and weathered with us all.
This is such an inadequate goodbye. I think I’ll keep coming up with things I wish I could tell Liam, or things I want to say to you all. There’s so much history here, so much to reminisce about. He took a piece of my adolescence with him. I’ll miss him forever. Too many of my memories are intertwined with him and I’ll miss him forever.
Sleep easy, Liam. I hope, in time, you’re remembered for your limitless capacity for love and your desire to do better, be better. You deserved more. 🤍
—————
tagging 1d people here because i know many blogs aren’t active on a regular basis. apologies if i missed someone (i’m sure i did). hugs for everyone
@1dclowns @hrrytomlinson @sandiazucar @fookinfreezin @hoeranghae @wlwmermald @tomlinsun @epubgf @heyangel @fireproofs @90sgrungelouis @lirry @iconichalo @itsnotreal @aquickstart @roguecurls @harryscuddles @hoteyelinerguy @babyy-honey @goldencereza @kindathoughtprovoking @kindofsharethat @fuchsiasea @queerbloodyangel @tofiveohfive @aboutmetamorphosis @wastelandbabyblue @delicatepointofview @twentybiqueen @girlcrushau @chaoticsue @chimnation @akasakasads @icouldbeluckyagain @alloutshirt @half-lightl @halohamilton @willowfey @meltedwings @softandslow @loustyles @onedirectiom @pop-punklouis @pridesobright @finexbright @femstyles @baawree @iamnathanscott @avocadolouie @userautumn @niallerer @itsnothesameasitwas @usignedupforthis @svpportive @svncourt
#liam payne#remembering liam payne#this was supposed to post tomorrow but oh well. might as well#seedpost
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Hi! My name is Sea, and I like to collect things. 🌿
Specifically, as of February this year, I have made it my mission to collect as many resources for the Final Fantasy community as I can; including, but not limited to: Communities, Events, Free Companies, How-To Guides, Lore, Tools and more! I have compiled them into Sea's Community Compendium for FFXIV Creatives, a venture I hope will service as a directory for new and old FFXIV players alike to find places and things they might not otherwise know about, and I'm proud to say that the Compendium has over a hundred individual entries!
...But I want more.
Specifically, as much as this is a call to introduce new people to the Compendium, it is a call for anyone who might know of specific resources/communities that not in the document to take a moment's time out of their day to let me know about them. You can submit specific resources via:
My tumblr dm's.
This handy google form.
Or SEAFLOOR, my support and social community for the Compendium and adjacent projects.
You do not need to be a resource/server owner to submit; there just needs to be a publicly accessible link. ✨
Projects like mine equally cannot survive without the support of the community. If you like what I do, please reblog this post or share it with your friends; post it in your community servers or link it on your social media(s). The more visibility I get, the larger the Compendium becomes and the more likely you are to find a resource or community to suit your needs.
Okay, but really, Is my space suitable for the Compendium? Most of the time, yes! Below the read more is some more information/stipulations. This is all publicly available on the document.
Below are the following things I do not accept on the Compendium:
Personal/Single-Character LFC ads. (Though these get posted to the SEAFLOOR Tumblr Community when I find them!)
Content intended for or can be used for bullying, harassment and OOC gossip. E.g. ‘Secrets’ blogs, receipts, callout posts, etc. This does not include IC tabloid blogs or other ventures used to generate roleplay.
Communities that do not have an RP/writing element (large-scale exempt).
Anything I find personally distasteful or goes against the spirit of this project.
Common-sense rule applies.
I want to put my community on the Compendium but we have an application process. Is this okay?
Yes! Just note somewhere in your application that's a requirement. The only thing that is mandatory for the Compendium is that you must be open to new members or have a public-facing/accessible facet. There's no point advertising a community if no one can join it in some way!
I want to put my Community on the compendium but I only have x number of members —
Also totally okay! People don't start with large communities. Activity is a must but, whether your server has two or two thousand members, if you're looking for new people to join, I'd love to help you find people.
I want to put my community/resource on the Compendium but I worry its too niche?
Okay, and? If your Eorzean Fishing Alliance has four members but you roleplay every second weekend, I still want to know about it. The same goes for resources; if it's relevant to the game, it'll be useful to someone.
How active does a community need to be?
If you find a community has not been active in about two/three months, send me a message and I'll take a look at it. Communities have ebbs and flows, especially event spaces that may take hiatuses depending on member interest/life events. I'm not strict in my implementation provided a space isn't dead. If a link or anything is broken, contact me asap!
I have [insert a question not stated here]?
No drama! Send me an ask or use the #Compendium channel in my Discord!
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#ffxiv community#final fantasy xiv roleplay#ffxiv roleplay#。・゚゚・ — sea speaks#。・゚゚・ — sea's community compendium
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I still mask because it's what I can do to protect myself and others.
I still mask because I don't trust the people at the grocery store and on the train to stay home when they're sick, or to stop themselves from spreading COVID.
I've recently learned that the masks I was using are no longer recommended, and have ordered some N95s! I'm doing my best but it's frustrating that I see people masking less and less. 😷
I have also felt the social pressure to go without masking and have given in sometimes, which I'm not proud of. Even my doctor made comments about it. I would love to know what you do/say in these situations!
Hey thank you for sharing! 😷💛
Firstly, I'm happy to hear you're able to upgrade to better quality masks! I hope they're comfortable and have a snug fit!
You're definitely not alone in experiencing pressure to remove your mask. This can be especially difficult when this happens with relatives and friends.
For me personally, I've gotten in the habit of trying to think 10 steps ahead of what I could do to prevent having to take off my mask. I gave some examples of what I would do in the case of visiting a friend or visiting a restaurant in this post here.
In general, I stand my ground with my boundaries if anyone is trying to pressure me to take off my mask. My boundaries are: I will not be removing my mask around other people that I'm not confident have been masking consistently in public and/or high risk scenarios, and I will not be removing my mask around other people that have not been taking enough adequate precautions & testing, if at all, leading up to the time of our convening.
In the case of being in public spaces surrounded by a bunch of strangers, removing my mask is 1000% off the table because there is no way for me to know how covid-cautious all these people around me have been, and my best bet is not at all if they're all maskless. So in the case of if I'm with relatives and/or friends that are trying to pressure me to remove my mask in public, that is a hard no. And frankly, I treat interactions like that as moments that inform me of how they regularly go about their day-to-day during an on-going pandemic: casually & carelessly removing their masks (if they have one at all) in public, with no risk assessment or precautions at all. I know then to double down on my boundaries, and, if possible, distance myself from them. I recommend joining any "Still Coviding" Facebook groups, Discord servers, etc. for your particular state/city/town if you're looking to spend time with more people on the same page as you about the seriousness of the pandemic.
In regards to doctors; I haven't personally experienced pressure to remove my mask from the doctors I've been seeing, but I have had to ask them to put one on around me, especially if the purpose of the appointment actually requires me to remove my mask. Here's a document that has templates for what you could say to your health care provider if you're requesting them to wear a mask in any upcoming appointments (feel free to save a copy and tailor it to your own liking!). Please remember that it's 1000000% your right to demand for accommodations and safety precautions in a literal health care environment. You're not a burden for doing so, and you're not irrational for asking your health care providers to literally do their job and do what they can to protect your health. There's websites like Covid Safe Providers if you're trying to look for a covid-cautious health care provider; it's not guaranteed there's going to be one for your location (I've been having a hard time finding a covid-cautious GP near me), but it's worth a shot to look into.
Overall, here's some links I recommend to equip yourself with knowledge on what you could say in these interactions if you're put in a position to have to explain your choice to take covid precautions & require others to do the same:
How To Talk To Your Loved Ones About Covid
You Have To Live Your Life: A resource for COVID-19 research and information
LitCovid: A literature hub for tracking up-to-date scientific information about the 2019 novel Coronavirus.
Please absolutely feel free to repost these links wherever and share them around to other people!
I hope this was helpful!
As always, if anyone has any additional information or suggestions to give, please feel free to share!
#thank you for sharing 😷💛#i still mask because#covid isn't over#covid is airborne#covid pandemic#covid awareness#covid#link(s) provided#ask queue#i meant to queue this but i immediately posted!
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Preface: People are going to assume this is a response to recent drama. So I want to say that I started writing this draft before that one blog's response to me. It was shortly after midnight on the 8th when it was just barely what I consider my Birthday. I was reflecting on my 3 years of existence and where I am now. The fact that I got the response I did later that same day is a total coincidence.
I don't feel like I have friends anymore...
That's an awful thing to admit.
I have one other system I feel like I talk to with any sort of regularity, who I love and consider friends. But they're not involved with syscourse which is so often where my mind goes. And so I don't talk to them about it because I don't want to trouble them, which means I don't talk to them because I can't think of what to talk about.
What else do I care about?
I mean, there are other things I care about, but they probably wouldn't care about those things. And I struggle to find something to say. Something that feels worthy of their time. But again, not syscourse or something that would bring them down.
I've had other friends. But they've faded away with time. One by one.
And a lot of that is my fault. I'm not good at being a friend or knowing what to say. And I'm not very good at opening myself up.
And when I can't think of what to say, I choose to say nothing. I ghost people I like because it's hard to maintain those relationships.
And I'm aware on some level that this hurts people. I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who treated others the way I do.
And there will be times when I'll decide to do better. I will, with full confidence, say that I'm going to change. I'll be a better friend. A better person. I'll fully believe this is something I'll succeed at for the rest of the day. Then the next day comes and that conviction melts away.
I think one reason Jaiden's story of having ADHD appeals to me is that if this was the problem with us, maybe, we could identify it and then just take one little pill and it will fix me.
That's a nice fantasy, isn't it?
A naive fantasy that ignores the fact that I'm in the brain of someone who was homeschooled and barely had any friends as a child either. But it's a nice fantasy to hold onto anyway.
So, yeah. I don't feel like I have friends, for the most part, outside our system. I have a blog. I have followers. I have plenty of mutuals I like interacting with.
But there aren't people who I truly trust to let in. It doesn't feel like anyone actually knows me or who I am anymore, if anyone ever did.
Since I haven't posted on it for a week and don't know when I'll post on it again or if I will, here's a confession: I made @anti-lies! Sorry to ruin the mystery for anything speculating! Though I didn't think I was even that subtle about it.
But the only person I know who guessed it was me was SAS! Which, congratulations! But also, that's kind of a sad thought that the person who might know me better than anyone is someone who was my archnemesis for the past two-and-a-half years.
To be fair, SAS did imply that other people might have guessed it. But if so, whatever circles those conversations are happening in aren't ones I'm in.
Oh wait, I'm not really in any circles am I?
I'm on the outskirts of the community. I mean, that's sort of by choice really.
Public posts can bring more awareness of plurality and tulpamancy. Locking myself in Discord servers or some isolated community makes me feel like I'm wasting my time because I need to be talking about it publicly where the world can see. I really, really don't want to be part of a Discord server. It's my choice to stay out of those spaces and I don't regret that decision.
But sometimes it's weird when I realize that most everyone else is. That they're actually in plural communities in a way I'm not.
I wonder, do people even realize I'm an outsider? Again, by choice. I've been invited to servers and chose not to go. I'm not being ostracized or anything. I've turned down attempts at bringing me further in. No one is to blame but myself. But either way, the result is that I don't feel like I'm really part of the communities I spend so much time advocating for.
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2024 TF Reverse Mini Bang Memories Part 1
With the @tf-bigbang discord server closing today, I thought I'd share just a few of my favorite memories during my first community fandom event :)
Not to be dramatic, but this event changed the trajectory of my part in the transformers community for the better. It felt like I was at a 4 month long summer camp! I had so much fun talking to everyone and making so many precious, precious friends that I truly hope to stay in touch with.
So buckle in and grab some boba or your preferred drink of choice, because this is going to be long and sentimental.
A Welcoming Start
I joined at the beginning of April, due to someone reposting the Big Bang's twitter post about how writers were still welcome to join. I thought, "Only 5k word requirement over the course of a few months? Yeah sure. I can do that." Little did I know I'd actually committed to writing a fic almost 5 times that length
The vibes in the discord server started out with a bang (heh). Everyone was immediately kind and welcoming to one another. It was an immediate safe space to be excited, let loose and show our freak XD I loved how ferally affectionate we were with bringing new friends into the fold.
A sketch by @nepetacataria-art perfectly shows this I think XD
The Support and Love Shared
The sheer amount of love, comradery, and support shared with one another was astounding. Almost 200 writers and artists shared tips and tricks and offered advice and encouragement to each other! It was unreal and I learned so much. It truly encouraged me to improve in my craft and even inspired me to want to learn how to draw again!
Oh, and the RECS everyone shared!!! Everyone shared so many fics and art pieces that I am now obsessed with! I have been blessed with a LOT of quality, amazing content that I never would have seen otherwise! My tbr list grew from large to neverending haha <3
Teasing the Artists Before Match Ups
I'm ngl, I had WAY too much fun once the sketches were released to the writers and the secret-authors-corner channel was made. We all OBSESSED over all of the art and fangirled over each one! But we also talked, and talked, and talked. And dropping out of context messages into the public channels for the artists to see was too much fun!
Talking Transformers
IT WAS THE BEST THING EVEERRRRRR!!!!! WOWOWOWOWOW! I loved raving about characters and lore, both canon and fanon! Even when I wasn't a part of the conversation, just lurking and reading what people talked about whether it was AUs, comics, shows, character breakdowns, brainstorming ideas...it was all so cool and so fun. Everyone is so creative and thinking about the sheer amount of fun we all had makes me tear up.
Like, SO MANY plot bunnies were made with everyone! Myself included! Sometimes people would just say a random ass thing and then five others would hop on, riffing against each other and developing that little idea into something concrete and so so JUICY.
Two out of many MANY conversations that I personally loved were the video games x transformers ideas and talking tentacles and transformers in the nsfw channel XD
Writers Panicking, As We Do
It was all in fun, but it was very entertaining and validating to be in a space where we can all stress about our writing, our fics, and approaching deadlines.
The mods clearly enjoyed adding endless fuel to the fire and (lovingly) watched us all scream and run around in a fiery chaotic panic over every little thing.
Streaming
I didn't get to join many, but it was always so cool watching artists draw! I also had a lot of fun streaming Hades 2 with a few friends with it was first released :)
Team 0 - A King Julien Starscream Fic
It all started when Writer's Choice Period began...and the example inspired many of us writers to obsess over this...I'll let the screenshots tell you XD
A King Julien Starscream fic just WORKS and you can't tell me otherwise! @mendely's sketch REALLY sold it to me as a thing that's GOTTA happen.
Madagascar AU FTW
AND THEN THE MODS MADE IT A THING THING
@useless19's king julienscream puppet owns my soul and their little vid is possibly the finest piece of silent cinema I've ever watched in my entire life. I was ENRAPTURED.
@sxpaiscia's art KILLS ME. PUTS MY HEART IN A CHOKEHOLD. Julienscream lives in my head rent free and 50% of it is imagined with their art in mind.
The sad end to the story is...the Team 0's fic wasn't completed within the time requirements to be posted with the rest of the Mini Bang's fics :( Do we still plan on continuing and finishing it? HELL YEAH WE ARE!
To Be Continued...
Did you know that there is a limit to the amount of images you can share in one post? SMH.
Link to Part 2!
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today is a very special day!
well, whaddya know — i started this blog 6 years ago today, on 2 october 2017 (◠‿◠)
as an american without any friends who enjoyed british comedy and panel shows as much as i did (do...), this began as a little space for me to share both the big and small things that made me laugh! i discovered just the breadth of the community and many corners of it were doing the same thing, even so far as sharing links and uploads to watch this foreign content — and that made me want to help in any way i could, too. i think that's how so many of you found me — because of my public googledrive content — and it's great fun that you're here!
you all send me so much love and so many compliments, you share my posts, you make requests, you tell me about your favourite shows and what you're enjoying, you offer me resources, and you forgive me when i have a stupid opinion or disappear for a little while. on tumblr, twitter, reddit, discord — i see my blog being shared and excitement around it. as someone who does not create these files — who does not have uk cable, who does not rip live broadcasts or streams or dvds; who simply sources content, pays $10 a month for some cloud space, and takes the risk of sharing it publicly — it feels like a lot more than i deserve to be treated quite so nicely by everyone. i really appreciate it (´・ᴗ・ ` )
i'll try to be better at making gifs and checking for typos, posting a greater variety of content, updating my drive more quickly, answering more asks, and keeping the space free of drama & negativity. i don't spend much time online outside of this blog because the internet is just so damn unkind — but this space feels like a great exception, a silly little bubble. thank you for being the greatest reason for that.
♡ hugs for all of you 🫂x10k
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Introducing my Five Nights At Freddy's AU!!!
This is something that I have wanted to do for a while but I have not been able to muster up the courage for multiple reasons. These reasons include: I'm not an artist, moreso a writer. I feel that if I ever uploaded anything onto Tumblr involving a Fnaf AU that never had any sort of art, I would get ignored or even shat on because of it. I don't know why, might just be the anxiety in me (I also happen to be sick right now so that doesn't help either). I also felt that my ideas would be often criticized or straight up ignored by most around here. I grew up in a more simpler time of the Fnaf community, where AU's meant that something crazy needed to happen meanwhile everyone here just does Alive AU's and treats these characters like they are their own OC's. I don't. Thirdly, a recent post in the past might set off red flags, especially the recent sentence. This is not going to be your coffee shop Alive AU like most people. I don't like Alive AU's, in fact I kinda detest them if I'm being honest. If you know me on Discord (only close friends do) then this AU might not be super interesting and might be the same stuff I already do. But no one really knows me on Tumblr and a lot of people are not close friends with me, so this is a way to give back to the Five Nights At Freddy's franchise, a franchise I hold so dear to my heart.
Five Nights At Freddy's has been with me since I was nine years old talking about it in the cafeteria of my school, talking about what Fnaf 2 would be like, and playing it on the god awful mobile phone version. I still remember my IPod having the old Fnaf 3 mobile port on it before it got wiped, good times. For a while now, I have always been scared about going public with my works. Taking small steps to try and get myself out there as a writer and such, and I feel like this is a bit of a step in the right direction. Maybe a giant step but a step nonetheless. I want to share my AU with the world and with a fandom I have very close ties with and I still do even when I'm 19. Fnaf even helped me with gender identity and such (thank you Vanessa Fnaf) and while I did take a crack at people who make Alive AU's, I still enjoy them when they are done in a fun and interesting way. And yes, I still love those kids, they are so silly. This AU is a loveletter to the franchise and while I don't want to reveal the name yet, I can't just not tell you what it will entail.
For all you remnant and agony lovers, that stuff is staying. I love the concept of remnant and agony and I think I can use not just agony, but all emotions in an interesting way to make it affect remnant as well.
Actual development to not just human characters, but animatronic characters as well. I know, crazy right? There's lore to be had for the animatronics as well to make their development just as interesting as your favorite silly children and your mass murderers. Also yes, just like other AU's, the cast will have a large diversity. Some characters will be LGBTQ+, some will be black, some will be Asian, some will be autistic, the whole nine yards. Some will be straight and white, I know, horrifying but the cast will still be diverse.
All games are canon! Yeah that's right, every game is canon in some way shape or form, even games like Freddy in Space 3 and Fury's Rage. Five Nights At Freddy's 1-4, Five Nights At Freddy's Sister Location, Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria Simulator, Ultimate Custom Night, Help Wanted 1 and 2, Special Delivery, Security Breach and Ruin, and Secret Of The Mimic. Fazbear Fanverse Games are also canon as well, aside from Flumpty's for very obvious reasons. Everything has been worked out to make sure these games do not overlap each other in any way shape or form and that they all are smoothly and coherently connected to one another. Now in terms of books, the only one that will be canon is The Week Before. This may change and there will be a post about it if so, but as of right now, only The Week Before is canon. The movie, Fazbear Frights, or Tales From The PizzaPlex, is not canon.
Returning characters and brand new ones!! That's right, you will see all the familiar faces, William Afton, Henry Emily, Fritz Smith, Jeremy Fitzgerald, everyone you know and love will be here. There will also be brand new faces! OC's will be here and may sometimes be important but will also probably sometimes not be important. It really depends on the role of the character, can't wait for you to meet all of them, returning and old : D.
References up the ass. Many such references to many popular characters from the books, the movies, and even other fangames not apart of the Fazbear Fanverse. If you want to see some TRTF references, this AU is for you. Do you want to see Wario's Fast Food Factory from Five Nights At Wario's? You can! Do you want to see Dormitabis characters be shown and talked about? I am the only one who probably cares about it but yes!!!!
AU posts will hopefully feature art and even large stories! I am excited to share this AU with you... when I feel better and I'm not sick. Hope you all are excited!!! : D
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I feel a lot more excluded and isolated in fandom than I used to back when I first joined around 2015.
I know it was actually just luck that I happened to choose to follow a handful of people who made fandom feel this way, but there was this always such an inclusive vibe back then. Fic writers made it a point to kind of, invite their readers to stand on an equal footing with them. I remember the 'popular cool kids cliques' being writers and artists, but also including people who didn't make anything themselves. Very occasionally they'd make original posts but mostly their 'role' in fandom was just to talk to and support the people who made stuff, and they were still in all the inner circles.
Like there was an active effort to spread the message that you can be a part of the community, and your presence is important too, even just as an audience member - if you at least actively participate in the conversations sometimes. And I feel like it's fully turned back around now. Nobody wants mostly lurkers around anymore, public spaces are shrinking in favor of discord, and nobody is interested in trying to make friend with the rando who occasionally drops in to say a lot of nice things about your fics but who isn't good enough with people to try to get a conversation going.
Idk I just keep seeing fandom events or even polls where people will just hang out and chat and it's very clear that even if the event is fully unrelated to writing only writers are welcome and it makes me feel like shit. Making friends is never a walk in the park for me to begin with but now I feel like I have an extra obstacle to clear. I miss the feel I used to have of fandom being less cagey and ashamed and more welcoming.
TL;DR I wish I still had or could make some new fandom friends lol
--
2015, huh?
The bad news is that making friends was always potentially hard for the entire history of the world and will likely continue to be so aside from pockets of luck. The good news is that nothing has changed so radically since 2015 that you couldn't get lucky again.
I gotta tell you, as someone who gets approached a lot, has almost exclusively fandom friends, and loves people... Being expected to do all the work is a big, big turn off.
I'm always happy to see people who actively participate in conversations. That's not lurking.
I'm terrible with usernames or remembering people online as individuals if I haven't seen their actual face, but I do remember a lot of people who comment regularly here. There's someone I talk to all the time in private now whom I met through comments and who's one of my more treasured online friendships.
But if people truly are "mostly lurkers", I'm going to forget who they are. If someone is bad with people and therefore expects me to get every conversation going… well… that's pretty exhausting.
I think the biggest keys to friendship are finding people you're already naturally compatible with and then consistency. You have to find people who are a good fit, and you have to show up if you want them to know you care.
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The Human Voices Project
So I have a very very dear friend who has been blind since birth. They're actually pretty good at being blind-- they have a Masters in Eyeball Science, live independently, and make amazing art (by pressing their face so hard against the drawing surface to see it that they used to get sores on their cheeks!). They have also gone through a lot of shit-- some of it, but not all, due to being a disabled trans person-- and though they have been trying their hardest to keep a smile on their face, they live in a place where they have few in-person friends, accessible social spaces are hard to get to (or don't exist, or cost too much), and sometimes they don't have the energy to go out at all. They use a screen reader to hang out on tumblr and on discord etc, but one time, after a DnD session over voice chat, they told me that it was always so quiet in their apartment after the session was over, and that it was nice to hear real people talking. That stuck with me. Last week I started asking friends and family to record themselves talking-- about anything. My older brother and his wife told funny stories about crazy things they'd done. My friend who loves the circus arts described a particular act that they loved. Dad told a story of his own, and Seb and I recorded ourselves trading banter while he played Mario Kart. People read stories, read poems, described what they saw while on a jog through their neighborhood. A whole bunch of people, just talking, so that my blind friend could listen to a real human voice whenever they wanted-- not a polished podcast, not a sponsored youtube video, but a regular person.
I uploaded this first batch of audio files to a google drive folder and sent it over to my buddy. They loved it! They downloaded all the files to their phone so they could listen whenever they wanted. And I thought, there must be more people who want to tell stories about their lives, or talk about their favorite subject, or read poems that mean something to them.
If you have a way to record a digital audio file (most smartphones and tablets have a native recording app) and would like to participate in the Human Voices Project, you can send an audio file to thehumanvoicesproject (at) gmail [dot] com.
Guidelines: mp3 is the *preferred* format because it'll play on most devices without having to have a special app. If you send me something other than an mp3 I can convert it, but I would appreciate it if you converted it on your own.
most subjects are okay; the only thing that's absolutely a no is talking about or describing guts, innards, or viscera. Try to *avoid* explicitly describing abuse (of anyone, including animals), and if you're reading a story or poem, let me know if it's in the public domain or not so I can make sure to put those in a different folder.
you can introduce yourself if you want but you don't have to.
the recordings I've gotten are usually between 3 and 5 minutes long, but I also recorded myself reading a short story at 20 mins, and a friend talked about not knowing how to swim for 90 seconds, so any length is fine.
Right now the google drive folder containing the audio files is private. I might make it a public thing someday, but as for right now it's still a thing for my friend, to fill up the silence and brighten their day. Thank you so much to the people who've already contributed, and thanks also to all those who'll contribute in the future!
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Finally got smart enough to make my #AudioDramaSunday list ahead of time so I wouldn't forget anything for once! We're gonna start today with the newest Magus Protocol episode which was phenomenal. Cole Weavers wrote this one and I just adore his writing. Also: Augustus is here 👀
Early access for the newest ep of @souloperatorpod was this week and y'all have a TREAT waiting for you tomorrow. Tot continues to astound me with her many talents and we also get to meet a new character who I'm already in love with
@tellnotalespod has brought us back to Julia and Riley who are overworking themselves (especially Riley. Let them sleep.) I love getting to hear from them in these mini eps but they DO make me want to shake Leo even harder Leo please talk to your friends please
@camlannpod episode 2 released this week and my gods it was so much fun. A blend of deep and emotional scenes and comedy (I'm still thinking about "The CW lied to me") I love every character with my whole heart and have been loving all the theories on tumblr about the show
New @innbetween was so sweet I love hearing the Lowlifes become actual friends. Phoebe thinking that everyone wanted her to leave squeezed my heart so hard and everyone insisting she stay because she was the one that they wanted for the quest??? Just so so good
@somewhereohio has once again knocked me flat with this episode. The worldbuilding around Jasmine and what's going on with her memories is incredible! I am an Orange Splice stan 1st and person 2nd. Also the Nadia/Alex scene breaks my heart because I know how they end 😭.
New Technomancy Project was SO GOOD!! And I was FUCKING RIGHT!!! I said this before but I love having all of them play Belial's game this time around and I don't think there's a single EPO agent who didn't make me cry this ep. The Technomancy Project continues to kick ass
Caught up on last weeks @thesiltverses and gods it fucked me up (affectionate) B Narr does such a fantastic job with Faulkner. I love him. I hate him. I want him to get whats coming to him & I want to protect him from it at the same time. B's performance knocks me flat every time
There was another special episode of @wakeofcorrosion this week featuring the Fringes' very own @totcoc0a and @taytayheyhey! I will never forgive them for what they did to my heart <3 Shaun Pellington wrote a killer script and deserves none of the blame even if it did break me
Continuing to make my way through the Storage Papers this week and episodes 13-19 were VERY good. I said "Nope, don't like that" out loud multiple times while listening to 19 which is the exact reaction you want from a horror pod.
This isn't a new episode listen but @wpwcpod has announced their existence and cast and im SO FUCKING EXCITED!! Not only do I love CL Hendry's writing but it will also feature the Fringes' very own Ollie Bannerman and @chainofbeing Cai Gwilym Pritchard I'm so hyped
Also not a new episode listen but Athan (creator of The Grotto) has announced that his album is coming out on March 29! If you've listened to The Grotto then you know Athan writes killer music. And if you dont listen to the Grotto: DO IT GO LISTEN RIGHT NOW ITS SO GOOD
Here on the Fringes we're preparing for the second half of the season! Episode 19 is available RIGHT NOW at patreon.com/PineTreePods and will be available to the public this Wednesday! Also gearing up to finish the last 3 episodes of season 3 which I'm super excited for
And over on @forgedbondspod the first half of the show is written! The cast has been thrown into a discord and has access to scripts now which is super exciting, I can't wait for yall to hear what's going to come from the first 24 eps
And that's all for this week! It's a long audiodrama Sunday post but there's just. So much good stuff going on. Every day I'm so grateful to exist in this audiodrama space and to share my work with yall <3
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Hi all and happy weekend! 🦇 We're keeping to the spooky theme still with the Compendium updates and, once again, I am gently boosting plugging the SEAFLOOR Saints Wake Gpose Challenge for anyone who might be interested! All works are reblogged to SEAFLOOR as well as queued on my blog.
There's not a big update this week so, if you know of anything I have missed, please reach out to me via my Discord or the Google Form.
As of today 10/20, the following communities have been added to Sea's Community Compendium for XIV Creatives. 👻
FREE COMPANY, FRIEND / CASUAL SERVERS
Skystone Co—An airship with a crew dedicated to shipping, travel and trade. Medium-rp FC on Mateus that focuses on bringing a wide variety of characters and rp styles together in one sky! Mist - W 26 - P4. Open for public rp but scheduled collabs and rp events are accepted as well.
COMPENDIUM
Some of the wording in the initial paragraphs and outline of the document has changed for the encompassing of purpose. While the Compendium has always functioned with writing/roleplay in mind, it's not the only thing that it's used for, and I wanted that to be more readily known.
Some changes have been made to the disclaimer, predominately clarity around irrefutable evidence. While it's common sense, I still wanted to include transphobia/racism as some of the criteria for Compendium removal. Basically: be a nice community and you won't be removed.
Have you thought about joining our Tumblr Community? You can find it here!
Want to submit? You can either fill out the google form here or send me an ask with the relevant information!
Is my space suitable for the Compendium? Most of the time, yes! Below the read more is some more information/stipulations. This is all publicly available on the document. 🍬
Below are the following things I do not accept on the Compendium:
Personal/Single-Character LFC ads. (Though these get posted to the SEAFLOOR Tumblr Community when I find them!)
Content intended for or can be used for bullying, harassment and OOC gossip. E.g. ‘Secrets’ blogs, receipts, callout posts, etc. This does not include IC tabloid blogs or other ventures used to generate roleplay.
Communities that do not have an RP/writing element (large-scale exempt).
Anything I find personally distasteful or goes against the spirit of this project.
Common-sense rule applies.
I want to put my community on the Compendium but we have an application process. Is this okay?
Yes! Just note somewhere in your application that's a requirement. The only thing that is mandatory for the Compendium is that you must be open to new members or have a public-facing/accessible facet. There's no point advertising a community if no one can join it in some way!
I want to put my Community on the compendium but I only have x number of members —
Also totally okay! People don't start with large communities. Activity is a must but, whether your server has two or two thousand members, if you're looking for new people to join, I'd love to help you find people.
I want to put my community/resource on the Compendium but I worry its too niche?
Okay, and? If your Eorzean Fishing Alliance has four members but you roleplay every second weekend, I still want to know about it. The same goes for resources; if it's relevant to the game, it'll be useful to someone.
How active does a community need to be?
If you find a community has not been active in about two/three months, send me a message and I'll take a look at it. Communities have ebbs and flows, especially event spaces that may take hiatuses depending on member interest/life events. I'm not strict in my implementation provided a space isn't dead. If a link or anything is broken, contact me asap!
I have [insert a question not stated here]?
No drama! Send me an ask or use the #Compendium channel in my Discord!
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#ffxiv community#final fantasy xiv roleplay#ffxiv roleplay#。・゚゚・ — sea speaks#。・゚゚・ — sea's community compendium
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First off, I’d like to thank everyone for all the birthday love. I am floored by each and every one of you that took time out of your day to message me, create something for me or just didn’t put negativity into my space. I am so grateful for you all, and still working through my askbox, so bear with me!
Now, onto something uglier. I hate using this space for this, and this is the only time I will address this, but I am so disgusted by what I’ve been made privy to that I cannot stay quiet.
There is a person who has made a Discord after being banned from eight others in fandom. They have used that server to bitch about me, my best friend in fandom, the server that we created together, and multiple other members of the HotD fandom. This disgusting group of individuals forgot that my best friend in fandom was part of this server, so she saw their hateful, vile comments.
One of this group in particular has been very publicly bullying and harassing another fandom member.
We have also had another user suggest that I am “abusing” my powers as admin in my server - it’s a space that Em and I have created, it is ours, it’s not public domain and we can decide who is or who is not in our space. This user also dared to suggest that I over sexualise Ewan, which is absolutely not the case. Way to twist my actions to suit your own agenda, I guess. Good on you for feeling you need to stick up for him. He’s not going to fuck you.
That’s all I have to say. I’m tired of people being shitty to each other. This was a devastating blow on my birthday. I am so fucking tired of this. Em, I love you, and I hope your mum had the best birthday ❤️
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A note to fellow Harmony readers/writers
Hello everyone,
I feel the need to say something about recent events. A post on the Harmony subreddit has given a platform for people to air their grievances about a particular story. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this happen and have been on the receiving end. And it really sucked. I’ve let myself believe that is part of being in this fandom, having your work ripped apart publicly and regularly.
I would like to ask the moderators of these spaces to please consider changing their stance on this. Adding in a rule that prevents posts like the one mentioned, among others. Again, this really isn’t meant to cast blame on any particular person. There was a comment about how writers need to stop acting like their god's gift to writing or the fandom, and to simply get over negative criticism. I want to clarify I don’t think that I’m special, or that my voice matters because I happen to write fanfic.
I’m no god, but I am a human. One who is dealing with their own pain as best they can. There are real problems that are much larger than fandom. Which makes it all the more difficult when I do choose to escape the horrors, only to find more negativity. I don’t expect the internet to always be a ‘safe space', but I do think fandom spaces can be more focused on positivity.
All of this has made me reevaluate my own role within fandom. I’m giving myself time and grace to make a final decision on how I want to move forward. In the meantime I would encourage anyone who cares about the fandom community to please reach out to the team at HMS Harmony (with kindness, they are also humans with feelings and lives.) If you feel inclined you could ask them to consider adding some caveats on how fics are discussed on public spaces such as Reddit and discord.
On another note, I myself haven’t always been as kind as I would have liked. If I’ve ever said something that’s upset anyone, I’m sorry. I regret some of the ways I’ve shown up in fandom over the years. I’m personally working on my own anger that I wrestle with, in real life and on the internet. Overall I would love to see if we could all think more carefully in how we discuss things, especially people’s creative work.
If you are a reader, there are so many positive ways you can contribute. The number one way is to reach out to those authors whose work you adore, especially those who don’t receive many comments. Tell them what you love about how they write Harry and Hermione, let them know their work matters to you. I promise it will make their day and encourage them to keep going. When you participate in fandom, focus on discussing the stories that make you go hell yes! Make fandom friends, who you can privately talk more in depth about works or what doesn’t work for you in a fanfic. Discord can feel private! But when you have over 5k members it isn’t and discussions that veer into complaining about an author’s choices it can start to come across as a pile up. I know hearing about how my own stories are discussed has left me discouraged.
To quote Albus Dumbledore-"Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.” There is collective power in how we engage. I’ve personally adored this pairing since I was a young child. To this day I still remember some of the storylines that I would play over and over in my head. I took solace in the magical world when I was bullied and I spent my lunch hours hiding in the library with my copy of PoA. As an adult I’ve turned to writing fanfic while trying to manage grief and the overwhelm of figuring out this next stage of my life. What has stayed consistent is my love of these characters.
It took me 22 years to start writing down my ideas, and I’ve found a lot of joy in doing so. I know many other writers have to. There really is nothing like getting a story out of your head and onto the page, even better? Getting to share it with others who love those characters too. We should think of ourselves as lucky that there are so many different stories out there to choose from. And that so many people choose to share their creativity with the world. I truly think we have more in common than we may realize, readers/writers/moderators etc.
I’ll leave you with this poem, because I find poetry always expresses things better than I can.
All the best,
Suzy.
#harry potter fanfic#harry/hermione#harry x hermione#harmonie#harmony#fanfic writing#fandom#harry potter
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Interlude #2: Four Short Stories
// admitedly, I never post on tumblr. At all. Like for the people that are friends with me, I only am there on twitter or discord. But, the offchance that I do, I just jumpscare a few people. And that's what I'm gonna do.
// First story is for @crystal-gryphon's Evelyn. Second story is technically my rendition of the next chapter of the Lackadaisy comics, but @666calistaxx wanted me to include Dominic Drago. Third story is - or was - my tiny slice of life with @blogplutocrat's Lola, and the fourth one belongs to my bf @ScarletLion02 on twt... I love him with all of my heart.
A Mistake To Dabble In
St. Louis, and its similar within a radius of the area, was cooking itself under the sun. Ever since the spring day started, up until the sun was up towards the middle of the sky, unleashing its full might as the heat burdened those unfortunate enough to be within the timezone. Chicago, albeit more desensitized to the sudden heat, caught itself off guard by the sudden spike in temperature, a few degrees off the highest ever recorded temperature. Nearby Kansas City had no idea about this sudden heat rise, given a few nights before it had been warmer and warmer, and St. Louis was, unsurprisingly, subjected to this tumultuous weather.
The city side of things was empty: streets, abandoned husks of vehicles, and the flooded recreational facilities, restaurants, and public spaces had people almost screaming for this weather to end. Most beaches are chocked full of people prone to these conditions, some there to enjoy the breeze, others opting to stay more active and swim, but for the foreseeable hour, the city seems lenient on spending their time elsewhere. Yet it isn’t to say that the other side of the city didn’t seem to bother with anything outside in the blazing heat. On the opposite end of the spectrum, back facing the Mississippi, the hills were shining much more green than anything could. Unaffected, and unbothered, by the sudden heat wasn’t the likeliest of duos, especially for their professions and especially for their activities. As the hillside turned a descent into a crescent, the open field just across from the river, stood two people that were almost trying to get at each other.
To the left, a ragdoll cat, almost smiling and arrogantly so, as she wields punches both left and right, facing off towards someone else in the distance, standing still and not amused by the current condition he found himself in. The black cat, with an unloaded M1911, had to face the stubborn irreality of his future, at least for the foreseeable part of it, as he faced the other with less of a competitive edge. The other party, Evelyn, soon charged full sprint towards the merciless triggerman, who she had hoped would be caught off his post and finally admitting defeat, soon found herself barreling towards the wall that rested far behind Mordecai Heller, as he lightly stuck out his leg to counter a full frontal assault. However, unlike himself, he quickly rushed back towards Evelyn after she hurled herself into the air and cushioned her fall and subsequent impact, his gun falling into the grass that blended it into the infinity it held. They both sat on the grass, Evelyn slowly sliding herself off towards the ground, and lightly tapped Mordecai’s head, with a smile to boot. Amidst heavy breathing, and exhaustion and exclamation from both sides, Evelyn spoke up.
“Told you I’d get you eventually!” Her voice shrieked with an unfathomable amount of enthusiasm, and also a hint of exhaustion.
“Impractical when you face someone with a weapon. Even with a blindshot, you’d still sustain an injury from such recklessness.” Mordecai immediately rebutted, almost wanting out of this sudden outburst.
“That is if they don’t respect the art of the fight, just as you were.” She giggled, her tone of voice now slowly back to normalcy through the laughter.
The two stood up, as Mordecai begrudgingly began to dust himself off. It certainly didn’t make sense to him that she’d bring the both of them to this place, only for her to tear the fabric of his reality, both metaphorically and literally although in a different sense, and she’d be the only one having mindless fun showing off her capabilities as a fighter. Her spirit of fighting, when prompted, can overrun what gentleness she does display in any other scenario. To think this is a contemporary side to an otherwise peaceful and non-problematic hobbyist and cheerful smiles told stories unheard and unsung. His calculation aside, he felt his dirtiness unwarranted and his participation felt more like babysitting more than anything. However, as he tended back towards Evelyn, it’s clear she’d mean no harm. Her rougher side normally has side effects towards it, and her stubbornness only proved to add into the flurry of chaos.
She, however, means more well than ill, as she’d been spending more and more time towards someone who’s preoccupation towards killing and ‘cleaning up the dirty work’ preceded his time to himself. As she trailed back to the art supply she had left in the wind and dry in the sun, she looked back towards the person whom she endearingly clinged towards. At least for the moment, nothing seemed out of order: himself slowly but surely making his ways towards her, still brushing off residuals and dust alike from top to bottom of his usual tuxedo that dressed itself up with the usual marigold brooch, and yet aside from his dilapidated state in terms of… everything, she’d notice a speck of something that was like a dab of incorrect paint being smeared onto a Van Gogh piece.
By the time she rushed over there, Mordecai almost instinctively tensed up, expecting nothing but trouble that would bestow upon him, given the energy of today. However, he stopped as Evelyn pulled out a handkerchief that she’d keep in her pocket for convenience sake, and began to dabble into the blood red that bled through his face. It’s rare enough he’d be hurt in this way, but even he was unsure why it was like this, let alone how it happened atop this iridescent plateau of land. Her touch felt soft, something that his tiny moment fumbling through the grass would not match, and her smile that predominantly occupied her faded as she pressed more and more lightly towards his face, letting him have some breathing room just in case she’d been pressing a little too hard.
“Goodness me, it seems this recklessness has some unintentional side effects.” Evelyn noted, her voice now gone from any sort of enthusiasm of before, her emotions ran on equal footing.
“It does seem so.” He simply replied, not fully wanting to move too much from this place of euphoria. At least, in his eyes. Before anything else had happened, he finally felt his face soften up from the sudden application of pressure, as he stared back from the distance back to her face, where it turned into a worried expression, but the tone of her next few words didn’t seem like so.
“It’s just a minor cut. I was worried it went deeper, yet turns out it’s just a splash of red.” She smiled again, as she put her handkerchief away again. Mordecai soon found himself able to move, but only for a moment before he suddenly felt a pair of hands from Evelyn, pulling him towards herself as she lightly nudged her lips towards his head. Against everything, even if it were a painting unwillingly filled with mistakes, she still cherished what artistry had made the final image. As if they, too, were the paintbrush and canvas of this moment in time.
Lackadaisy Contemporary
Armed with a lethal demeanor, and unusually silent composure, he made its way towards the grandeur entrance of the Maribel Hotel. For a while, he had considered going to this palace as per the request of the highest of higher-ups within the place, the honorable Asa Sweet, yet at the same time it almost feels like he’s walking into a trap made specifically just for him. Outside, he seemed determined, unbreakable, yet inwards he was considering every miniscule effort, just purely off of this invitation alone. He stood for a while, at the front entrance, just facing the foyer, as he lightly nudged his chin just to hold his head up. His informant, Grombach, can’t be far off given how last night there was no news that regarded something significant that ran aground at his place.
However, closeby, a radio slightly slipped its words into the air, as he mashed the two thoughts and words together in his silent space: “Eyewitness said that the shooting occurred on a slow Thursday night, with 4 dead and one feared missing. So far, the accounts recall a tall, Cajun lady who had ordered to ‘bring over the belongings and everything they had’ before leaving with the fifth and final member dead within the alleyway. This has been Blaine Morrison, with the half-hour news from this Saturday afternoon.” The radio announcer proclaimed, before it was tuned out completely to a different channel, for more swing that aired over the radio. However, it’s all but enough evidence for him to start down a slow rabbit hole that would end up with him meeting the person behind all of this.
The entrance boasted more of grandeur and than his usual place he’d meet up at: golden arches that surrounded the entrance, with bellboys running in and out catering for highly sophisticated guests, with some whom he recognised briefly as his career sometimes took him into the higher end of society amidst the chaos of bootlegging. One of those was someone who did work with him, a former private investigator, and one who soon fell out of the spotlight with the opening of his agency. It all seemed like old memories, especially after they had both brought down a serial killer that has been in the business for about two years. Another, a former ballet dancer, never bothered to make eye contact as he observed her presenting a slip of paper to the receptionist, who scurried away towards an unseen backroom, before quickly reappearing with a card that has a very similar outline as his own. Nonetheless, he had already stopped in realization that he’s been standing out in the open air with these thoughts, alongside baseless deductions, and quickly made his way inside with it as a luggage.
The hotel lobby, as magnificent as its reputation, boasted meticulous marbling, with a flower symbol that led up towards the front roundtable of the lobby, which hosted a myriad of keys, people of different ethnicities, backgrounds, statuses, and time. His eyes scanned left and right as he made his way towards the very front of the hotel, where a nervous receptionist fiddled with his records and pages upon pages of an unseen book.
“Good afternoon, and welcome to the Maribel Hotel. How may I help you?” He nervously addressed the Prohibition agent, who was slowly reaching into his pockets.
“Ah yes… I’m here on the behalf of an Asa Sweet.” Dominic replied, slowly putting down the business card that he was just handing out to the former ballet dancer. “I’d presume you know where he is?”
“Up the elevator, you’ll have to punch in the fourth floor, where you’ll be greeted by a bouncer. Present this to him, and he will let you through.” With hesitation, the receptionist scooped up the receipt of his boss’ presence, and punched two holes in the top left corner of it, before he put it back over the counter. With a million thoughts on his mind, the receptionist simply pointed towards the elevator, and gave some very cutthroat instructions in a more monotonous voice than his previous. “You’ll know it when you see their brooches.”
“Thank you, sincerely.” He reached for his pockets again, this time he pulled out a $50 note and put it on the benchtop. With a sluggish smile, he took the ticket back towards his hands and shoved it into the front pocket of his suit. “Keep this, a gift for you and your future.” He quietly pertained to the profession the receptionist was undergoing, before heading off towards the blood red carpet that spanned towards his left side, as instructed. Before long, he reached the silver and yellowish-golden elevator, before hoisting himself into an elevator where an operator stood.
“Good afternoon, what floor shall I take you to?” the operator asked, facing towards the agent slightly.
“The fourth, please.” replied Dominic, slightly nodding at the other before they were both off.
A short ride up a few floors later, he was now facing a different set of hallways, completely empty and distinct from the rest of the bottom floor. There was one hallway that spanned both across and forward, and towards the far end of the hallway forward stood the bouncer that guarded a closed off black double door that was faintly past the imposing figure who looked like he could lift this entire building with his arms. He stepped off the elevator, before making his way towards the person who stood guard by the same set of doors. Other than a slightly disgusted face and almost a foot taller than Dominic, he grumbled and raspily asked for an entry ticket.
“If you don’t have the ticket, get out.” He grumbled, getting to the point immediately. Dominic slipped out the literal golden ticket, as the bouncer snatched it from the tip of his fingers. Without hesitation, he swung the doors open to reveal the Marigold Room, infamously known for outperforming the other competition within the area, the Lackadaisy Speakeasy. Within it, there were few guests; some surprised by the entrance of Dominic, others nonchalantly continuing with the conversation, as the room presented itself with gold, yellow and red designs that scraped through the fabrics that lined the room, just as much as it did with the floor they were currently in.
The doors shut behind him, as he made his way deeper inside with astonishment, before coming across the man he’d been there to speak to. Asa Sweet, in all of his cheerful yet deceitful bombast. He approached him, only slowly and meticulously, before Asa caught wind of the Prohibition agent. He put down his cigar, before a smile ran from ear to ear as he stood up and greeted him, shook his hand, and took him towards another private place.
“I’m glad you made it, Detective Drago.” Asa signed off, as the two disappeared into the office nearby, where he sat down in his chair and faced himself towards the still standing Prohibition agent. His arms crossed, he asked the question that got him a visit here in the first place:
“I need your help in quelling the case behind Atlas, and his subordinates. Could you help me out?”
Strands Of Stradivarius
Rocky didn’t seem to mind himself resting his face onto the soft hands of Lola, as he had this day for himself and nothing more. His hands fiddled itself towards the soft, rugged bed with himself nearly satisfied that he got to be in here with the woman who loved him as much as he loved her. He caught wind of her expression: a blatant smile, something that seemed almost daily just alongside her golden ray. Both the smile and the thought of her alone brightens up his face, just thinking of her made himself evermore conscious about his decisions. Soon, his hands reached towards her hair, almost straggling along it as if it were the strings of the violin. It felt like gold, it held like gold, and he soon disembarked into a journey that’s almost like the trip he had been with that ‘space coffee’, something Lola didn’t pay too much attention to.
She was more or less the same with Rocky, dreamily staring at him, running alongside his face. She had thought there was nothing more than him getting lost in the thought of her, and she’d only be proven right. As the slight tugging on her hair tricked her into a slight lull, as she held onto Rocky’s face more and more so. She’d been exhausted all day; had she not woken up early today, she wouldn’t have scored a spot in a decent job in the city, after multiple places had not held up their end of the deal of giving her a decent job. Even then, she still stood strong, and pushed through the entire day of finding numerous places that had open spots for her to work: early telecommunication networks, stenography work at law firms, and clerk work at one place. All of this took her the entire day throughout the sweltering weather that kicked up, which only made it all the more rewarding when she got back into the apartment complex moments before Rocky rocked up.
Rocky’s vision blurred more and more out of reality, as he started to duck and weave between Lola and her golden hair within the apartment complex to a farmland in the middle of nowhere, with his hand now stroking violin strings that spanned from his hands towards the distant sun that shined brightly towards him, as he plucked on it for a short while. It transitioned into all of the possible notes of a violin: G, D, A and E in that order from whence he did so. He didn’t spend much more time thinking to himself, as he kept plucking slowly and slowly to see if this is real or not.
However, Lola saw him tug on her hair more and more, and she finally spotted the sudden enlarged pupil, and subsequently frantic behavior, prompted Lola to slowly let go of him to try and decipher what’s going through his head: was it the fact that she wasn’t there the full day and someone slipped him a cup of that ever so mysterious “space coffee” that he’s had before? Was it because he had undergone a trance after seeing her and/or having her touch him in his face? Or was it something entirely different that she had no idea about?
Lola, now fully paranoid, lightly slapped Rocky’s face, yet nothing happened. At least for a bit, he still seemed all the more occupied with whatever assumed control of him, as she found herself out of balance with her current issue and husband, as she soon kept at Rocky, trying everything she could without disruption. However, Rocky was too enamored by the constant strings and vibrato of the magical rays of the sun, within his own head.
“Rocky– ROCKY!” Lola screamed, to no avail, as Rocky soon slumped over onto the bed. Later, he would have no recollection of the events that got him a slap on the face, nor why he had a strand of her hair.
Contentions About Intentions
“It really, really smells terrible.” Kaleb held back his disgust through the sentence, as he sat himself unwillingly towards him within the bar. At least, what little of it that occupied the side of the Lackadaisy Speakeasy. Yet without another word, Viktor glanced left towards the man in question and slowly backed away to try and get the smell away from him. After which, almost in contradiction, Kaleb wanted him to be back.
“No- wait, come back! it’s okay.” He tugged on his coat, in which the other slightly squinted at.
“Vhat makes you come here? You hate the smell, no?” Viktor begrudgingly asked back, confused about his contradictory attempts at being close to him. Being a bartender wasn’t entirely ideal for him, but it’s what he made do with.
“Well… I do, but I wouldn’t mind it if I was just with you!”
“Nerozumiem…” He mumbled out, before tending back to his glasses.
Kaleb, unwillingly, sat right then and there to tend to himself and the distracting smell of alcohol reminded him of a past time he didn’t want to recall at this time. So far, he’d been the only one to try out mocktails that Viktor had to make. Yet, now as he stared back down at his pocket, he didn’t know why the sudden overwhelming sentiment was back, especially now. The star pin, something he bore little memory of and even littler practical use for, mixed with the numerous alcoholic smells that wafted through the near empty speakeasy, spiraled him through his past life of his father’s undying wish for his son to be perfect. Unpleasant didn’t speak enough of how it is, especially after he tried using him to get into Marigold.
“You’ve always had a knack for your son, eh Milton?” One loud, rough voice spoke into what little attention he had left, as he flashed back to his time at Marigold in front of his father and Asa Swet.
“Well of course, I merely wish for him to be the best.” Percy nodded, adding a smile that he now knows to be more a calculated promise than genuine.
“Haha! Good, good! I’ll have big things planned for him in the future!”
The two then threw themselves into a fit of laughter, spinning Kaleb’s head round and round in a disorienting conglomeration of overlap, causing him to collapse into his own arms. His eyes began to well with anger, sorrow, and a taste of grief into what he could have been if it weren’t for the neglect, if he had lived without his father’s tunnel vision into the underworld’s boss, and if he’d been better off if he just went back to where it began. Overthinking was now his strong suit, as he pondered into “what ifs” of the past.
Viktor, however, put down whatever he had on hand, and slowly tended towards a troubled Kaleb. In the meanwhile of him undergoing a headache inducing memory sequence, he’d already slid over a mango mocktail and took care as to not accidentally cross contaminate with the alcohol. As he leaned across the bar towards Kaleb, and wrapped his arm around him, he couldn’t help but feel like he should have done more to help.
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