#i love how this scene wasn’t even dubbed to any language.. it uses the original CN voice for childe (which also voices dan heng)

[lameow-l]

called it!!!

childe is getting another weekly boss??? KINGGGGGGGG

[teamironmanforever]

HIGHLIGHT TRANSLATION OF THE SPANISH DUB ACTOR GUILLERMO ROJAS

Guillermo Rojas - Spanish Dubbing actor for Dean since season 12 until 15x18 (he contracted Covid and was unable to record 15x19 or 15x20 - he has yet to record those) 

INTERVIEWER: “Memo (nickname for Guillermo), I am not sure if you knew, but you broke the internet” 

MEMO: “Yes, a lot of people sought me out when this happened. I am so sorry I wasn’t able to answer at length all of your questions, but I was right in the middle of dealing with Covid. I couldn’t speak without feeling like I was drowning. Right now I am going to (voice) therapy. While it is not too dreary, there are 2 continued effects, so I couldn’t answer everyone who contacted me through various ways - through FB, instagram and an old youtube channel that I haven’t used in years - with respect to the situation that occurred between Dean and his friend (Cas). 

MEMO: “We try to follow (our lines) in what we see of the acting. Remember that dubbing is something where we must make a parallel alignment in our own language. Under the guidelines given to us by the client, we try to expand on all possibilities and all the alignments and - as actors - they permit us to give 100% of ourselves. So there isn’t a limit per se, so long as you don’t go off track (from what was requested from the client)” 

INTERVIEWER: “What were the guidelines for the line that broke the internet” 

MEMO: “It’s curious because neither the director nor us the actors knew much about the tendency that existed. Because we didn’t have much previous information that suggested that something like this would happen. To be honest when we recorded it, we were asking wait what’s happening? I mean we did it, but no one knew this was coming neither in the production studio nor amongst the actors.” 

INTERVIEWER “I need to ask for a clarification here. I mean we are talking about the love declaration Cas made to Dean after 12 years of intense eye-contact. But the big question is Dean’s answer. Because EVERYONE heard in your voice that clear “And I you, Cas”

MEMO “And I you, yes.” 

INTERVIEWER “Where does that “And I you” come from? Was it you? What happened there?” 

“The adaptation came entirely from my director (Adrian Fogarty). He adapted it and gave us our acting guidelines, and I performed accordingly - I gave what he asked of me. We all loved it. We never saw it coming so overtly.... If you remember across all seasons, we rarely see Dean get involved with any women. It just didn’t happen, unlike his brother. He just never got involved. It wasn’t his thing, especially because we have his brother to compare him to. We saw (Sam) in a relationship in the past 2 seasons with Eileen which was a very intense relationship, and very painful in the end. Dean never had to suffer through that. They tied Dean’s pain to the loss of his mother since he lost her more than once.” 

FB question: “So It wasn’t a rogue translator, it was a rogue director”

MEMO: “Look, Fogarty has some really intense abilities and one of them is to adapt the dialogue. When you see him translate a script, when he has the time to do it - even when he is not the one directing - and he leaves it in Spanish. The dialogue said, if I remember correctly, “me too” or something like that and then we switched it to “and I you” due to effects of lip movement, rhythm, etc... We don’t all have the ability that Fogarty has, that speed which he has, to think and translate immediately. We are a team and we work together, and pool our collective abilities, and of course Fogarty does his part. You need a Fogarty in every company.” 

(The interviewer mentioned that her cat hates Sam Winchester and loves dubbed Dean’s voice). 

INTERVIEWER “Do you know what Dean said in the original script before Fogarty got his hands on it?”

“Yes, of course. It made allusions to that. (Fogarty) made the right translation. It said and so do I or me too or something like that. It said it in the (original) script.” 

INTERVIEWER: “When you heard the english version while you recorded yours, did you hear Dean say I love you too?” 

MEMO: “No. If I would have, I would have taken the earphone out and gone what the fuck? *laughs*” 

INTERVIEWER: “What was your favorite episode to film?” 

MEMO: “With my short-term memory, I would say this last one (15x18), because it says so much. In one scene, it says it all. It was impressive, and so beautiful. I never saw it coming.” 

Interviewer “Well you have broken tumblr again.” 

MEMO: “Okay *Laughs*. Well, that’s good. Thank you very much.” 

MEMO: “I think it’s clear to everyone that the fact that he (fogarty?) broke the internet, with this information was a surprise for everyone. Absolutely everyone. Because we all say that if someone wants to be a “real man” we have to be like Dean. In fact it’s something very beautiful for me because it has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with feelings. It was a play by the writers that was marvelous. You didn’t see it coming, but damn do you like it.” 

MEMO: “Nothing was left out of the translation... No I was not called to re-record the “and I you”. I have not been asked to remake the dubbing. My director perfectly understood the texture of the text.” 

INTERVIEWER “Do you know if Supernatural has a quality review for the dubbing through Warner Bros?” 

MEMO: “I would be lying to you if I said yes, but I have been working for WB (LatAM) for many years as both an actor and director. And there is some specific material where they do have “filters”, but with something like supernatural I doubt it. I would assume the one left in charge of all decisions was our director (Fogarty).” 

INTERVIEWER “Have you been interpreting Dean as in love with Castiel this entire time or was it a surprise for you?” 

MEMO: “No, never, it was a surprise. In fact, to be entirely honest, to my closest friends - of the same gender - I do use the phrase “te amo”. I don’t have any issues with that. So I actually thought it went that way - but then I found out it was romantic.” 

INTERVIEWER: “Guillermo, what is your opinion, of destiel now that you know the nature of their relationship.” 

“Well it was a revelation for everyone - including me. I love how they handled it because we didn’t see it coming. And I think, of our understanding of the character’s traits and psychology, we know that if someone knows how to repress their feelings, it’s Dean Winchester. *laughs*” 

INTERVIEWER: “What would you say to Cas if he came back from the empty?” 

MEMO: “He came back?! (he hasn’t seen 15x19 or x20)

INTERVIEWER: “No I am saying what would he say IF he did” 

MEMO: “Oh, okay. I was under the assumption that I said I loved him so long as he wasn’t planning on coming back! *laughs* Well if he returns I guess I would say “Hello, Cas”.  

INTERVIEWER: *Tells MEMO about the not for nothing cas but the last person who looked at me like that I got laid” 

MEMO: OKAAAAY *laughs* That was too much. *laughs* 

INTERVIEWER: Would you be this fandom’s Godfather? 

MEMO: But of course *smiles* This was a big thing, from what I see. 

INTERVIEWER: “What message would you give to the fans who are descovering the spanish dub?” 

“first, thanks a lot of being part of the mexican dubbing. We do this job with all the heart and all the passion that we have. And I think I speak for all involved in this industry. We are glad to note that there are so many people from other countries that are watching these new projects in another language. So I have no words but thanks a lot.” 

INTERVIWER: “What would be your ideal ending for Dean Winchester” 

MEMO “I think, for all of them, they have sacrificed their lives and that of their loved ones for the safety and well being of everyone else. I think if anyone deserves to be well, happy, and calm, at least it’s those three (Sam, Cas, and Dean).” 

INTERVIEWER: “What about jack?” 

MEMO “Jack did attach himself to them, but I think he could find happiness in another nest.” *laughs* 

[luxshine]

Y yo a ti, Cas -segunda parte. Because of course Mexican Cas pulled us out of despair and can throw us back in.

Ok, so the last 24 hours have been a bit of a rollercoaster and now I have another post to write about how dubbing is made. Because I love Misha a lot, and I respect him but… the whole rouge translator thing just doesn’t jive with reality.

Now, first of all I want to make a disclaimer: I do not believe that there’s a conspiracy to keep Dean closeted and away from Castiel. That makes absolutely no sense, no matter how you slice it. Among other things, conspiracy implies intent, and I really doubt the CW, Warner Bros and everyone involved in the marketing choices cares that much. At most, I think that there was a misunderstanding of marketing/PR and now people are doubling down on trying to pretend it didn’t happen. But a conspiracy? Nope. This isn’t THAT important, and it would require a LOT of people involved to make things work.

Which is precisely why the rouge translator thing doesn’t work. Because you would need a conspiracy to MAKE Destiel canon in order for it to be real.

Second: As I write this, I still don’t have an answer from the voice actors. But rest assured, WHEN they reply (or we can organize a panel so YOU guys can ask directly), I will tell you the absolute truth. If I am wrong with my assumptions, and it WAS a rouge translator, I will let you know, and I will admit I was wrong. And if it was from the audio (say, a Jensen adlib) or the actual script? I will also let you know.

Third: I don’t doubt that Misha REALLY believes the rogue translator thing, if it was told to him by TPTB. There’s no reason to believe he knows how dubbing works in Mexico, nor how many people check the final product. Or that he even watched the episode, instead of believing it was a fan clip. Also, I respect him immensely and I don’t want any hate send his way.

That said, let’s go into how dubbing works, again.

For the sake of argument, I will start with the idea that yes, there was a “Rogue translator” who decided that THIS was the perfect moment to make Destiel canon. Not, say, Season 8 when he could have translated an “I need you” from Dean into an “I love you” when the god tablet thing happened, not in season 12, or during the purgatory prayers. No, the best moment was two episodes before the finale, when he had to know that Cas was not coming back. 

And yes, the translator knew Cas was not coming back because when we translate series, we get them in packages of 5 episodes or more at the time. So they must have had 15x16 to 15x21 (The interview special) all together. So they knew that this was Cas’s exit from the series.

Now, in my previous post I said how in the old times, we used vhs tapes and paper copies of the shooting scripts (when they were available that was not always). Now a days, we get the video file and a word document (if we’re lucky. If not, we make the word file). Translate everything. Go through it AGAIN to make sure the lip sync matches and that we don’t have huge speeches when there’s a small window of time to say the speech because of the language differences. Check that we didn’t accidentally used a slang word that only Mexico would understand. If the show is not PG-13, make sure our swearwords are not too bad or too localized. THEN we send it to the studio, which prints about four copies of the script and hands it,and the video, to the Dub director.

The dub director then goes and re-watches every episode, while checking the script. Some directors don’t speak the language, so they’re just checking cadence, time, and the damned lip sync. (And if you, as a translator, don’t match the lip sync? You are either back to training or out of a word if you get too many strikes). So sure, you could slip a change of line there, IF the director doesn’t speak German, or Japanese, or Hindi.

But almost every single dub director speaks English. So a change from “Don’t do this, Cas” to “And I, you, Cas” would be noticed then and there, and changed to the right line. Which means that, for the rogue translator thing to work, we’d have to add also a rogue dub director.

And honestly, do you see a professional dub director with more than 15 years of experience (because you don’t give a series to a newbie, and Supernatural had the same dub director for all it’s run) risking his job for ONE line?

Anyway, in the times before the plague dub actors were called in groups to the study to record, in order to save audio tracks. So, for example, all the Inner Senshi would record together when doing Sailor Moon, and I assume in Supernatural, Sam and Dean’s lines would also be recorded together, while Dean and Cas might have been or not. Depending on times and so on. So you’d had at least 3 people in the studio: Dean’s VA, the dub director and the sound technician. ALL of them checking what was being said, what was in the script, and listening to the original audio.

Some actors would also make corrections to the script there, making some lines easier to read, and, again, checking those damn lip letters (Can you tell I HATE the lip letter thing?) . I remember fondly the VA for Sailor Jupiter, Araceli de Leon (RIP), who was known as “The Corrector”, since she would go through ALL the scripts for everyone with a red pen. The day I handed a script she didn’t find any corrections, I was jumping out of joy. So if 15x18 was recorded AT the dubbing studio? Someone who knew English could’ve caught the difference between the “Don’t do this” and the “And I you”, making it harder for our rogue translator to go unnoticed.

But let’s say it was recorded post-quarantine, when voice actors work alone at home, in their own private sound studios. I have no idea if they would have the director at hand through zoom, but I assume so. In any case, the VA would STILL have the original audio to know how the lines were said, and after 4 years of dubbing Dean Winchester, I will assume that the VA knows at the very least a little bit of English so if his script said “And I, you Cas” but he heard Jensen say “Don’t do it, Cas”, he would’ve made a correction there.

That’s now two people who would have to ignore the rouge translator’s actions, and even help them, in order for this theory to work.

And then the audio goes back to the director, who checks it again, makes sure it is lip synced and well acted, and sent to the audio technician who mixes it all, and now we have a THIRD person who could’ve said “Hey… uhm… this line? Is not what it says in the original” and by this time, we’d have to have a conspiracy to keep that “And I, you, Cas” in the final product.

Which brings me to person number four: Once the dubbing is done? It’s reviewed by the client (In this case, WB Latam), who gives the final say and CAN ask for redubs if necessary.

Story time. When I was doing this for a living, I got a series that had the WEIRDEST line ever. A line that made me triple check I was hearing things right (because it was a damn adlib that I couldn’t check with the script)

It was: “I’ve been listening to jazz even since I was a sperm swimming in my father’s testicles”.

So yeah.

I was a pro, so I didn’t censor it or change it and send it as it was to the director. Who OF COURSE called me and asked “Are you 100% sure that’s the line?” (This was in Japanese, and he didn’t speak Japanese. He trusted me). And I said “yeah, but if you need to change it, we can find another way to say “I’ve been a Jazz fan since before I was born”. “ He, Jack bless him, said “Nah. If that’s the original, let’s keep the original”.

The client was NOT amused and we had to change it in the final product.

Now, this was a throw away line by a secondary character that never appeared again in the series, in a small scene that probably only I remember. And the client still said “Nope, change that”. I’d like to believe that a line that changes the relationship between two main characters would have the same, if not more, scrutiny from TPTB.

Which makes now four people who would have had to either ignore the actions of the rogue translator, or actively participate in a conspiracy to make Destiel Latam canon.

Which, I dunno about you, sounds like way too much effort for something that was going to last for exactly one second before Cas got sucked into the Empty.

Someone made a mistake? Probably. But I am more willing to bet it was whoever sent the master video file to the studio than the dub studio, if that line wasn’t supposed to be there.

[marshmallowgoop]

Magic Kaito vs. Magic Kaito 1412

I’m not sure if I ever finished all twelve episodes, but I first watched at least a handful of the original Magic Kaito specials about a decade ago, and I remember really enjoying them. Superhero stories are among my favorites, and while both Magic Kaito and its sister series Detective Conan overlap with the genre in various ways—after all, Conan’s glasses were literally inspired by Clark Kent—Kaito’s flashy costume alone pushes his adventures more in that direction. So, maybe it’s no wonder that, back in the day, I kind of considered Magic Kaito my preferred series of the two.

Recently, I’ve got a reignited interest in the DCMK world (evidently). And it’s not a bad time to have a reignited interest, because English-language accessibility for this universe is much better now than it was ten years ago. Conan’s getting new movie dubs, and Kaito’s newer, expanded TV series, Magic Kaito 1412, is freely available on Crunchyroll. Obviously, I had to give it a shot.

I wasn’t impressed. Far from it. I chalked up my old fondness to nostalgia goggles. Kid the Phantom Thief is simply more enjoyable in Detective Conan than in his own thing, I figured.

But a few weeks ago, those old specials went up on Crunchyroll Germany. And it took me a while, but I finally decided to figure out the truth, once and for all. Have my tastes totally changed, or has Magic Kaito anime not always been Like That?

I was impressed. I watched all of one episode, and I enjoyed it so much more than 1412.

Which surprised me! Just examining the first episodes of both series, they’re honestly practically identical. They cover the same story beats almost exactly. Kaito’s introduction is even consistently him being disgusting to Aoko—behavior that, nauseatingly, convinced me that Mineta of the My Hero Academia series would actually be adored if he were conventionally attractive.

But as it turns out, that’s relevant to why the original Magic Kaito strikes me as far more palatable. Kaito’s actions towards Aoko are still indefensible in the old special, but he doesn’t repeat them on his teacher, and there are repercussions. Unlike in 1412, Kaito doesn’t get away with his harassment because his teacher finds him charming; in fact, Aoko even later notes that he “should be thankful [he] [wasn’t] expelled,” implying that he was indeed punished harshly for what he did. While Aoko assures Kaito’s mother that he didn’t get in trouble in 1412, in the original special, it’s clear that being cute isn’t enough to give him a free pass for disrupting class and being gross.

Further, in a more general sense, the tone of both series is of course goofy overall, but the characters in the old Magic Kaito feel much more like human beings than the cartoonish caricatures portrayed in 1412. A scene especially missing from the new show is a quiet one where Kaito and Aoko walk together after school. With the sun hanging low in the sky and a sparkling river flowing beside them, Kaito expresses his disappointment in how his magic trick didn’t exactly end as planned. “I guess I need to work on my finale,” he bemoans, but Aoko is more concerned with why he feels the need to pull these ridiculous stunts in the first place.

She quickly gets her answer. One of the exuberant little kids who had run by them earlier falls over and cries, and Kaito doesn’t hesitate to cheer him up with magic. And Aoko watches. She sees the way the little boy’s face lights up. She sees how he runs off again with renewed energy. And she smiles. She doesn’t say it, but the audience gets the message.

Oh. That’s why Kaito’s a magician. That’s why Aoko walks by his side.

I won’t claim to fully comprehend Kaito’s character. I haven’t read the manga, it’s been years since I’ve seen more than the first episode of these old specials, I’ve only watched about 20% of 1412, and for as much as I’ve been posting about Detective Conan lately, I’m (maybe humorously) about the farthest thing from current and would only be able to tell you about Kid’s first appearance in that show. But when Kaito returns to his empty home in the original series, and when he announces that he’s there to nobody at all, and when he welcomes himself back, all with a smile and a cheerfulness to his tone, I deeply feel his loneliness. I feel the weight of his lost father. I feel that, even if some of his tricks are inappropriate and inexcusable, he does them because he wants to make people laugh. He doesn’t want anyone to feel as sad and alone as he’s felt.

Maybe I missed it, but I didn’t get any of that from Magic Kaito 1412.

And they’re small things, they really are. But they make a world of difference. Even Jii, who really only becomes more than just a mysterious figure in the episode’s closing minutes, feels more like a tangible person in the special. He loudly gasps for breath after performing the magical, fantastical feats of his old friend, and it’s such a tiny, minuscule detail, but when watching, I feel it so strongly. I literally understand the strain of Toichi’s loss on Jii, too.

Beyond narrative decisions—and there are others that I much prefer in the old series, such as how Kaito links his failed magic trick to his father’s “poker face” philosophy, and how Kaito uses a successful variation of his earlier trick to escape the police as Kid the Phantom Thief—I also just simply prefer the original art style. Magic Kaito 1412 is slick and shiny and modern, but in being so, it strikes me as much more generic than the older-styled 2010 special. Shot compositions also feel more powerful in the first anime; just consider how differently the two series handle what is arguably the emotional height of the entire episode:

[Image descriptions: A series of four comparison images examining how the 2010 Magic Kaito series and the 2014 Magic Kaito 1412 portray the same sequence of events. In both, Kaito asks Jii, “Dad was murdered?! Was my dad... a thief? Was he Kid the Phantom Thief?” Kaito then says, “I see...” End image descriptions.]

While the dialogue is essentially unchanged, the old show’s use of close-ups expresses the tension of the scene spectacularly. You can see the terror in Kaito’s eyes. You can see how the thought of his father being a thief is so distressing that merely asking the question is painful and heartwrenching. You can see the sweat on Kaito’s face. You can see in great detail how much he struggles to grapple with this new truth.

Magic Kaito 1412 is significantly more distanced. And there’s power in that decision, too. The revelation is overwhelming. It’s hard to take. Kaito may want to get away from it, but he can’t.

However, I resonate more with how the original series handles the moment. Seeing how everything affects Kaito way up close speaks much more to me—and there are still some fantastic long shots, too:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from the original Magic Kaito series. Both are distanced long shots. In the first image, Kaito and Jii kneel on the ground. Kaito’s hands are on Jii’s shoulders. In the second image, Kaito stands, facing away from Jii, while Jii remains on the ground in shame. They wear identical outfits in both images, and their capes blow in the wind. End image descriptions.]

Gotta love those capes.

Overall, my feelings on Magic Kaito as a whole could probably be best described as somewhat mixed. And I’m kind of new here, and I don’t even know when it’s appropriate to use the #dcmk tag, so I of course don’t have the slightest clue about how popular or unpopular my opinion that the 2010 Magic Kaito series ranks above 2014′s Magic Kaito 1412 is. 

But skipping down memory lane and revisiting the old show was pleasantly surprising. Maybe my affection for Magic Kaito will never reach the highs it once had all those years ago, but it was almost comforting to find that my tastes haven’t changed all that much—rather, it’s Magic Kaito itself that’s changed.

[aoitrinity]

The “Me Too”

DISCLAIMER: I am about to put forth further speculation about a major Destiel-related event from this season, specifically the confession scene in 15x18. This is 100% pure speculation and I do not claim to have any insider knowledge AT ALL. If you are not in a place to read such things, please go take care of yourself instead of reading this. Do not cause yourself any additional pain. 

If you are here to be an asshole and call me delusional...uh...I mean, go for it, but like I really don’t get what that’s doing to make your life better? If shitting on people’s desire for understanding a TV show brings you joy then uh...that says more about you than it does about me?

With that out of the way...read below the cut for my theory about the “me too” line.

I know I just unloaded my theory about the finale on all of you the other day, and that I should probably give you all a break in between my bouts of theory-dumping, but I had to get this out here tonight.

If you somehow haven’t seen it yet these last few (painfully exhausting) days, there is a rumor going around of a cut in episode 15x18 of a specific line--a “me too” that Jensen supposedly recorded during the 15x18 sequence, which would have given us all textual validation not only that Cas is in love with Dean, but that Dean is in love with Cas. Various people have been trying to confirm or deny this rumor since it surfaced. We all figured it would have happened during the final scene, with Dean crying, alone. It would have been there in place of the crying, and we hypothesized that Jensen had to dub it over with AMR of his sobs. It was an interesting thought, but we had no real proof it ever happened. I, for my part, started to assume it was entirely false.

But then tonight, on the Latin American CW, we apparently discovered that in the Spanish-language dub of 15x18, they had taken Dean’s last line to Cas, “Don’t do this Cas,” and dubbed it as “yo a ti”--translated to “me too,” seemingly confirming to us that the line did exist!

I watched the clip of the dub excitedly, hoping for some secret new shot that we had been robbed of in the original episode, but the “me too” was simply dubbed over Dean’s line of “Don’t do this Cas,” which is definitely something Dean very clearly said in the original recording. That wasn’t a dub, Jensen said that line.

So what gives? Where the heck did the “me too” come from?

Well, as apparently I am wont to do recently...I talked @winchester-reload‘s ear off and was eventually hit with a stroke of realization. 

I don’t think the “me too” went in the crying scene. I think Dean said it to Cas’s face, and we were robbed of it.

Before I go any further, I want to again remind you that this is PURE SPECULATION. PLEASE JUDGE FOR YOURSELF AND ALWAYS BE SKEPTICAL.

So.

The original end of the scene runs as follows:

Dean: Why does this sound like a goodbye?

Cas: Because it is. I love you.

Dean: Don’t do this, Cas.

*a longing exchange of looks, with Cas smiling through his tears even more broadly than he was earlier*

*the Empty appears and Dean starts to panic*

Cas: Goodbye Dean.

*Cas throws Dean out the way, smiles at him one last time, and is taken*

Now that always struck me as a sort of weird exchange because...I mean, Dean can tell Cas not to “do this,” but whatever he was going to do that would get his ass taken by the Empty, he had clearly already done. But I originally handwaved it as Dean begging Cas not to go and leave him again by dying, even though it was too late, because I was too entranced with the beauty of the scene and of the performances to imagine anything otherwise.

However, after this Spanish-language dub story broke this evening, I started to wonder if the exchange had initially gone a little bit differently. 

What if the “don’t do this, Cas” was pulled from earlier in the scene? 

I would have originally imagined that it actually went between the “Because it is” and the “I love you,” but in the leaked shots of script we got a few days ago, there doesn’t seem to be any line there--Cas goes straight from his “because it is” to the “I love you.” Thus I conclude one of two things: either the line it was adlibbed or added by Jensen on the spot, between the “because it is” and the “I love you,” or it was dialogue that originally came earlier in the scene.

Either way, what matters is that I think that line, “Don’t do this, Cas,” was moved to after Cas’s “I love you” in the final cut and replaced the “me too.” I think the initial episode probably followed the Latin American dub instead, and went like this (with the one line inserted where I feel it best fits, though again, it could have come from earlier):

Dean: Why does this sound like a goodbye?

Cas: Because it is.

(Dean: Don’t do this, Cas)

Cas: I love you.

Dean: ...me too.

*a longing exchange of looks, with Cas smiling through his tears even more broadly than he was earlier*

*the Empty appears and Dean starts to panic*

Cas: Goodbye Dean.

*Cas throws Dean out the way, smiles at him one last time, and is taken*

Well.

Doesn’t that all hit a bit differently now? Doesn’t it now make sense why, after Dean’s line, Cas starts smiling more broadly than he was during the entire rest of the scene? Doesn’t it make sense now that when Dean turns to look back at the Empty emerging, there are way more tears in his eyes than there were in the prior shot? Doesn’t Dean’s body language line up better between shots if we read it this way? Doesn’t it make Cas’s sacrifice hurt both more and less at the same time, because he could go to the Empty knowing he was loved in return? That he had the one thing he wanted most? 

To me, at least, it does. 

Unfortunately, I think that, similar to what I speculate happened with the finale...they were told by the network that they had to cut Dean’s reciprocation because the CW panicked about coming off as too gay at the last moment. You can read all about that in my other post.

Anyway, here’s more food for thought. Remember @oceaxe-ifdawn’s post about how she had spoken with a cast member about how the script for the finale was being frantically rewritten in March, the weekend after they finished shooting for 15x18? Why would they suddenly have to start tossing out their own ending in MARCH? TWO WEEKS before they were supposed to start filming the finale?

What if it was because that was the moment when the network started to pivot? If their contacts on set told them how very beautifully homosexually gay the scene was, and that was the moment that the CW decided that they couldn’t risk losing a very specific (conservative, heterosexual) part of their fanbase and needed to start toning down the gay before it got out of hand? And since they couldn’t obviously go back and reshoot anything for 15x18, given everyone then immediately went into quarantine for COVID, they had to remove Dean’s reciprocation from the script and replace it with another, earlier shot, that could have FEASIBLY gone in its place. But they couldn’t take Cas’s confession because it was entirely necessary to the whole plot of the season (and that, I think, was a fucking genius move by the writers to at least get us this much--god bless you, Bobo).

And this way, the CW could actually have their cake and eat it too--they could claim they were still being accepting of queer people (look, we let Cas confess his affection for Dean!) while avoiding the potential loss of their favorite cishet male audience (whom they really want to transition to Walker after all of this is over because MONEY) that they might suffer if that audience discovered that one of their two “traditionally masculine” lead characters was in love with another man this whole time.

The only reason they didn’t carry it all off is that, when they needed to send the script over to the Spanish-language dubbers for recording, there was some sort of screw-up. They somehow forgot to have the dialogue swapped out back in March and the lines were never replaced in the dub script.

And that is how we got the “me too” line from Dean in Latin America tonight, a line that we had  heard rumors existed, but had no actual evidence of... until now.

I’m sorry to have pulled you guys into this theory with me, but... It just lines up too perfectly. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, yes, but sometimes that cigar is actually a dick. A big, beautiful, gay dick that your stupid homophobic TV network executives are censoring because they are afraid of the reactions of their more conservative viewership.

On the plus side, I think that this more than ever confirms that Destiel is and was always canon. Textually. Reciprocally. 110%. 

And the CW fucking robbed us of it.

[wheres-sam]

I binge-watched the spn anime because of the brain rot

It’s bad except for the parts that are good, and it’s pretty to look at. Here’s a comprehensive list of pros and cons. Spoilers ahead!

Pros:

- more psychic kid backstories: Max (Nightmare), Lily (Darkness Calling), Jake (Loser)

- more psychic Sam

- more Azazel

- basically if you want more about the psychic/demon kids, watch the anime

- more young Winchesters

- the monsters, the superhuman abilities, the fight scenes, it all looks really cool animated. (But PSA it’s violent. It doesn’t shy away from blood and gore.)

- Sam and Jessica backstory

- more of the brothers being cute and funny together

- Missouri isn’t forgotten

- includes some Japanese legends/mythology

- the impala looks great in every scene. They did Baby good

- the “Supernatural” intro title

- the outro sketches of the boys hanging out with Baby

- Episodes adapted from the original show are different, but I like some of the changes? It’d be boring if it was an exact retelling and the visual medium wasn’t utilized. (I know I said spoilers before, but this is when they get detailed. If you wanna skip over, I’ll tell you where they STOP.)

Nightmare goes more into the abuse Max has suffered. Instead of locking Sam in a closet, Max sends Sam through the floor and covers the hole by breaking his bed in half, and it’s extremely sexy how Sam shoves the 2 halves apart with his mind. Later on Dean puts bandaids on Sam and they talk about demons loudly in front of a fast food intercom.

In My Time of Dying highlights the guilt Sam feels over Dean. In both the og and the anime John verbally blames Sam for not shooting Azazel, but where in the og Sam goes right on arguing, in the anime he reels back for a moment like he was slapped. Dean’s spirit touches Sam’s shoulder, and Sam knows immediately that it’s Dean. He doesn’t even question it. Instead of “Are you here?” it’s “I know you’re with me. I can feel it.” And I love that. Dean figures out right away he’s dealing with a reaper, and the reaper takes on the appearance of Mary to convince Dean to move on to the afterlife. Instead of a Ouija board, Sam uses a laptop to talk to Dean, and the first word Dean types is “Sammy!” Dean is so fond of his little brother and Sam is so baby.

Rising Son is an anime only episode, but it draws inspiration from John’s journal. Dean has a proper breakdown over his dad’s death and the possibility of having to kill Sam. Ms. Lyle, Sam’s favorite teacher who turns out to be possessed, is explored. John takes Dean hunting, and in the journal Dean hesitates to shoot a buck, and little Sam shoots it thinking it was endangering Dean. In the anime, Dean’s cornered by a moose and Sam makes it explode with his mind and it’s so !!! How little Sam’s first words are, “I’m glad you’re okay. It didn’t hurt you?” The boys are covered in blood and guts and Dean’s like 👁👄👁 “Why are you here? Did you do this?” And then Sam starts freaking out a little, the shock sets in. “I don’t know. I don’t know, honest.” And he’s staring at his hands, and I am a big fan of Sam showing superhuman signs as a kid. Like in the journal, Ms. Lyle tries to take Sam. She gives Sam the illusion of a choice to come with her or stay with Dean, and Sam chooses Dean. This ep is pretty much when John figures out Sam has demon blood. He kills another hunter that wants to kill Sam.

Crossroad is based on Crossroad Blues, and I love how the crossroads demon shows up. It’s hard to describe, but it’s so neat, like she’s walking underneath Dean in this mirror world, and then the mirror world takes over the regular world, so you really get this sense of otherworldly seclusion, existing outside of time.

What Is and Should Never Be shows Dean is a firefighter in his ‘Mary never died’ world, and Sam got to play soccer growing up like he wanted. The brothers hold each other after Dean is saved from the Djinn.

AHBL part 1. When Azazel shows Sam that he fed Sam his blood, Sam gags and slaps a hand over his mouth, and I like that reaction more than the live action. The psychic kids get to go more anime with their powers, and that’s a lot of fun. They don’t need weapons. Ava slams Sam into the brick side of a building and cuts him without touching him. Jake snaps Ava’s neck with one hand and then catches Sam in his arms. When Jake attacks Sam, there’s no gun or knife. He’s relying on his super strength, his fists. Sam throws his arms up to protect himself, and (accidentally?) pushes Jake back with his mind, and the collision creates a crater in the ground. Jake puts his fist through Sam’s chest to kill him. It’s brutal and it’s rad as fuck. These kids are terrifyingly powerful.

The Sam and Dean reunion before Sam is killed is not as emotional as the live action imo, but what the anime does intrigues me. Hurts in a different way. Because Sam is stunned after he uses telekinesis again, on Jake, and when he hears Dean behind him Sam freezes. He doesn’t look relieved to see Dean, but wary and weary. It’s Dean taking steps towards him, not the other way around, and it has to be because Sam doesn’t know if Dean saw him push Jake back. Sam doesn’t know how Dean’s going to respond to all this, to him, having powers that come from a demon, the demon, Azazel. Sam hasn’t had a chance to process anything. He’s scared. He’s tired. And the way the anime focuses on Sam’s eyes here. Gah. “Dean. Dean, I’m...” I’m sorry. I’m all right. I’m glad you’re okay. I’m a monster. There’s also this one shot between Sam and Azazel that sends me because of how anime it is.

AHBL part 2. I love how Sam brought back to life is animated, with all the color returning to his face and a light wind rustling his hair and his lips parting to indicate his soul returning to his body. Jake attacks Dean, and, a lot like how Sam activates telekinesis to save Dean from Max in Nightmare, Sam gets a burst of superhuman strength. He rips Jake’s arm off and tackles him to the ground and beats him to death, punches holes into his body, and it’s so savage and bloody and scary, and I love it. The Devil’s Gate opening looks so cool animated. Same goes for Dean shooting Azazel with the Colt.

Not to turn this into a meta post, but I also noticed how the last couple times Sam uses his powers they’re colored green-yellow, the same colors as Mary’s ghost when she reveals herself in the anime’s Home, and I don’t know if that’s intentional, but it’s neat how it draws a connection to Sam’s biological family instead of Azazel’s blood.

The Spirit of Vegas is like Bad Day at Black Rock, but Dean has all the bad luck instead, and it shows off the silly cartoony physics that make animation fun. The boys sleep outside and split a chunk of bread for dinner. Also this lil bit of Dean’s hair tied in a bow.

- (STOP) the brothers are pretty. I am not immune to animated Sam and Dean Winchester.

Cons:

- Jensen doesn’t voice Dean until the last 2 episodes

- The English dialogue is really bad sometimes. I wish I could’ve watched the sub, but I couldn’t figure out how to change the language

- Some character designs are really different from the live action, and maybe that’s petty, but if you’re gonna change the characters diversify them? Don’t just make them unrecognizable white people

- Missouri’s design as a stereotypical witch doctor is racist

- Gordon is replaced by some British guy named Jason?? Why

- There’s an LGBT character who is not accepted by her family and, while that bigotry is always shown to be negative and she dies the hero of the episode, she still dies ://

- In the English dub Lily’s gf is made into her roommate instead. Idk about the sub

- Bobby’s pretty much a totally different character

- Sam and Dean are OOC sometimes

- Dean’s hair usually looks darker than Sam’s and it drives me crazy

- The storytelling is, overall, not nearly as good as the live action

- The non-Japanese lore in some episodes makes no sense. Sometimes it’s just plain ridiculous?? Like there’s a giant robot made of cars and scrap metal controlled by a demon? ? I wish I was making this up

- Meg’s role is severely reduced

- No Harvelles or Roadhouse

- Shadows are overused, but maybe that’s because the og show is so dark?

- I don’t mind the art style. I like the aesthetic, but I wish it was a little more expressive. It doesn’t do Sam’s puppy eyes justice.

- AZAZEL’S SHADOW?? PROPORTIONS?? PEA SIZED HEAD

- Idk why they mashed season 1 and 2 together? The story feels rushed

- there’s not as much chemistry between Sam and Dean, but that’s a given without J2 on screen

- Nobody tells you!! That there’s scenes after the credits!! And some of them are important! Why are important scenes after the credits??

The anime would not be good on its own, without the heart and depth the live action brings, but it works as supplementary material you can cherry pick from. I would watch more if there were more episodes.

It hasn’t turned me off from wanting an spn anime. I’d like to see it continued or redone, with updated animation and better scripts. There’s a lot of potential in exploring more about the psychic kids and Sam’s powers, storylines that were cut short in the og show. Animation is a great medium for showing off the supernatural, getting creative and creepier with the designs, dramatic with the fight scenes, without having to worry about bad CGI. I don’t want a live action reboot, but I think a redone animated series could be a lot of fun! (As long as it’s not an excuse to make any romantic ships take over. SPN is a platonic love story, and I like it that way.)

If you made it to the end here and are interested in watching the spn anime, you can watch it for free on the CW Seed app! You can probably stream it elsewhere, but idk where!

[usagichibamamorutsukino]

To all of the Mamoru/Tuxedo Mask Haters

This is my post on the Sailor Moon subreddit! I am very proud of the arguments I made and am extremely thankful for the amazing response I got! I got Reddit Gold for the first time in my life! I’m sharing it today here on my Tumblr, the place where I have found a wonderful niche of Tuxedo Mask and Usamamo lovers like me! Here is the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/sailormoon/comments/d0zm4c/to_all_of_the_mamorutuxedo_mask_haters/

Here is my post: 

Hi everyone! I wanted to share my comment on a video interview of the Viz dub voices for the Sailor Moon and Sailor Moon Crystal anime, Stephanie Sheh (Usagi), and Robbie Daymond (Mamoru). The interviewer talked about why she believes it's justified to hate Tuxedo Mask and why he isn't right for Usagi. The topics I covered in my initial comment are included here in greater detail. I am basing my response below on: the manga, the original 90's anime and its 3 movies, Sailor Moon Crystal, Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, interviews with Naoko Takeuchi, articles that analyze the storylines and utilize fact-checking references, as well as my interpretation and analysis that bases itself on the cannon and overall understanding of the portrayal of the human characters and interactions in the story.

Obligatory note: You are entitled to your own opinion as I am entitled to my own. However, I feel obligated to voice my opinion and defense for Tuxedo Mask as he gets so much hate in the fandom, and there is so much misinformation about him. There are so many posts and articles trying to prove that Tuxedo Mask/Mamoru is definitively a horrible character, that he sucks, he is useless, etc. It is one thing to have your opinion. It is another to be so vocal about your hatred for a character basing your hatred on misinformation and superficial arguments.

In my lengthy post, I will discuss specific topics and arguments that people bring up to defend their hatred of Tuxedo Mask/Mamoru and his relationship to Sailor Moon/Usagi. I hope you enjoy reading and gain some perspective.

In the original anime, Usagi and Mamoru didn't have any feelings or love for one another UNTIL they remembered their past lives

I rewatched Season 1 of the original anime this past week and took notes of each encounter between Usagi and Mamoru until they remember their past lives. I analyzed their dialogue, how the animators portrayed their body language around each other, as well as how they talk about one another to other characters. Let’s begin our study by reading this quote from the manga in Act 10 when Usagi recounts that in her encounters with Mamoru: “I would get defensive, and we would get into a fight. We actually never had a real conversation. But the truth is… I was always so excited and happy to see him. That’s why we ran to each other… isn’t it? The two of us were drawn to each other.”

In the 90s anime, Usagi and Mamoru have an initially confrontational relationship. Mamoru’s first impression of Usagi was of a girl who hit him on the head with a crumbled-up test with a horrifying grade. Usagi’s first impression of Mamoru was a guy who told her she should study more; she was mortified and embarrassed by this, so she stuck her tongue out at him and walked away, disregarding him as a “weirdo”. The second time they bump into each other, Usagi throws a shoe at his head by accident, and she doesn’t apologize. The third time they meet, they bump into one another when Usagi is dreaming about “her future boyfriend.” She mistakenly apologizes to a pole, and Mamoru finds this funny and says that she should watch where she is going. Naru asks Usagi if she knows who that guy is, as he is “totally gorgeous” and Usagi responds “Wrong! There is nothing gorgeous about him!” By the 5th and 7th episodes, when Mamoru sees Usagi, he goes up to her and says, “Hey!” like they were friends. At the end of their conversation in Ep. 7, when Usagi walks away annoyed, we pan back to Mamoru, who is smiling at her genuinely. Through all of these interactions, Mamoru and Usagi go from strangers who are annoyed by each other’s existence to people who run into each other so often that Mamoru can find some humor in it.

You have to consider that Mamoru is acerbic since he is becoming Tuxedo Mask without his knowledge, is sleep deprived, has retrograde amnesia, and barely has anyone in his life who truly cares about him. He meets this girl who has hit him on the head, has bumped into him and has been rude to him on multiple accounts, of course, he’s going to return Usagi’s comments. But as he spends more time around her group, the teasing becomes well-meaning. Usagi shows that she values his advice, such as in Ep. 17 and when she is deciding if telling Naru about Nephrite's evil doings is a good idea or not. Usagi was visibly jealous of Rei’s crush on Mamoru and her three outings with him. Mamoru brought up "Bunhead" when Rei stopped him on the street to ask him out. He mentioned "Usagi" when talking to Motoki when the conversation wasn't about her but rather about Makoto. She's on his mind from early on.

There is a fantastic post that also discusses some of the points of evidence that Usagi and Mamoru had crushes on one another before they remembered their past lives, https://aminoapps.com/c/sailor-moon/page/blog/my-thoughts-on-mamoru-and-usagi/eYX5_MMdI3udVa3xwNvqExdKarRMM0xGlrm . One of my favorite observations is this: "Mamoru mostly teased her about her love life. When we look at what a person mostly tease someone about, it can give us an idea about their true intentions behind it. Mamoru teased her about romance-related things quite a few times, saying she wouldn’t get a boyfriend if she weren’t more lady-like, teasing her about Motoki twice, and her 'not-so-date' with Umino (it really wasn’t though). Not to mention when Motoki asked Mamoru why he always treated Usagi like that, Mamoru says, 'I guess we weren’t meant for each other.' " Also, in reply to this post, u/Rockabore1 made a fantastic analysis regarding the deeper meaning behind Usagi and Mamoru's teasing in the beginning:

"I love that you point out all the nuance in the way Mamoru and Usagi's relationship grew from roasting each other to realizing they care about each other and actually love being around each other. When they met, neither were really emotionally mature enough at that point to figure out an excuse to spend time together, and they kept using teasing each other as a reliable way to do it. I talked to another redditor about a scene that strikes me as a very multilayered in that regard. In episode 17, since when Mamoru talked about qualities, make a girl beautiful after Usagi feels discouraged to meet with the photographer. He describes 'someone with a kind-heart and bravery to do the right thing even when it's hard to do.' He says it with a directness like he means it as 'I see these qualities in you.' Yet he plays it off by saying, 'Obviously, you lack those qualities,' in a challenging way. I read it as him giving her the determination to try and prove him wrong because he knows she's not a quitter. Usagi went to the arcade to get Motoki to boost her ego, which she knew he would since he's always supportive, and Motoki's platitudes made her happy but didn't inspire her, whereas, Mamoru challenging her was what pushed her to actually go out and prove it. When she leaves, Motoki notes how the two always bicker, and Mamoru seems to half-heartedly lament that things always turn into an argument when they see each other and that 'I guess we're not meant to be.' It seems like he's admitting that he doesn't know how to give her a compliment without feeling silly or embarrassed to act like a softie, and he doesn't know how they could change (which obviously they do, but at the time both were really stubborn)."

In Ep. 28, they already demonstrate to the viewer that they have crushes on each other. Usagi, sitting next to him, thinks to herself, “but hey, he does look pretty handsome," then out loud, she says, "Oh geez, what am I thinking stop it Usagi, Tuxedo Mask is the only one I love!” He looks at her, and when she looks away embarrassed, he smiles at her. At the end of the episode, when Usagi says that their painting came out beautiful, Mamoru says, “I’d say it looks pretty good considering who the model was…” and his eyes immediately shot at USAGI! But she thinks he’s talking about himself, so she reacts annoyed. And in the last episode of the first season, when everyone gets their memory erased, Mamoru smiles genuinely after meeting Usagi. This encounter was just like the first one they had at the beginning of the series and similar to their third encounter as well. His reaction could very well have been the reaction he had after meeting her for the first time, but we, the viewers, didn’t get to see it. They had an attraction to each other from the start. Usagi felt that she made two horrible first impressions on Mamoru and even though she obviously found him attractive (as she later states on countless occasions), she felt that “this is an attractive guy I would’ve had a crush on now thinks I’m a ditz, so I’m going to treat him like I don’t care about him.”

Mamoru is someone who came from an upbringing with little attachment and has been pursued for his looks and wealth for presumably a long time. Think about how many characters and villains have hit on him. How Motoki told Rei that he lives in an expensive apartment all alone because of his inheritance, and her eyes lit up. Usagi probably is the only girl who isn’t fawning over him when they meet and instead is capable of sparing jokes at each other’s expense. His way of showing his attraction is not the best, but Usagi isn’t perfect either. I also noticed how, when Rei bumped into Mamoru in a ploy to ask him out, he acted concerned for her falling down for a moment, asked if she was alright and went on his way. Rei stopped him again, and he reluctantly stuck around for coffee. Meanwhile, every time Usagi bumps into him, he sticks around for a bit to tease her and get teased back. Why did Mamoru go out of his way to spend more time with "the annoying Bunhead” than he needed to? He even goes up to her to spar and teases her, and she reciprocates too.

At the end of Rei's first "date" with Mamoru, she tells Usagi that Mamoru is probably Tuxedo Mask, Usagi says that there's no way that he could be. Mamoru asks, "huh, who is Tuxedo Mask?" like he’s genuinely curious after Usagi noted the comment about Tuxedo Mask. Umino interrupts and asks Usagi to continue their own “date,” Mamoru says, “uuu, so that’s your type, huh?” in a flirty manner. This implies, "oh, so that's why you act like you don't like me. I'm not your type." Usagi is embarrassed and blushing during this whole encounter. Later, in Ep. 30, when Yuichiro and Rei are hitting it off, Usagi is ecstatic about getting them together. Rei tells her, "you know Mamoru is my guy, so what are you trying to pull here?" Usagi blushes embarrassed, her crush on Mamoru is obvious, her jealousy of Rei is evident. Even Ami starts to see this in Ep. 31 where Rei excuses herself from a Sunday outing with the girls for a "date," Ami tells this to Usagi while nervous, knowing Usagi will react annoyed at the thought of Rei going on a date with Mamoru. However, on Mamoru's part, he never took the outings with Rei seriously. He saw her as more of a friend while she was the one pursuing him to go with her on “dates.” Also, when talking with Motoki about the girls, he seemingly got really nervous at the thought of Rei “liking” him as more than a friend. After he realizes that he is Tuxedo Mask and realizes his strong connection with Sailor Moon and the princess to who appears to him in his recurring dream, he basically stops interacting with her altogether. In fact, in this same episode I just mentioned, Rei calls Mamoru to ask him out on a date but is met with his voice mail. We pan to Mamoru in the balcony of his apartment, ignoring Rei's voice message and instead of thinking about how he is determined to get the last rainbow crystal to find the legendary silver crystal and recover his lost memories.

Who can forget episode 34, where Usagi and Mamoru discovered each other's secret identities. Usagi recognizes Mamoru walking along the Juban Shopping District; she playfully hits him on the back, “Hey there, how you doing guy?” He grunts in pain. She genuinely asks him, "What’s wrong?" He responds, “Oh, hey Bunhead, you're sure cheerful today.” Usagi: “Well, excuse me then, it just so happens that I am a cheerful person all of the time!” and sticks her tongue out, as she does. He responds with a smile, “I hope you’ll always be that way. Take care, okay?” and walks away, holding his shoulder. Usagi reacts, confused, “What’s with him? He isn’t acting like himself.”, and notices his shoulder is hurt, “Could he be hurt in some way?” Mamoru probably thought he was going to die in the battle with Zoisite; he was also depressed about not being able to protect Sailor Moon, in what Mamoru thought was his last time seeing Usagi, he was kind and told her that she should always remain her cheerful self. Worried, she follows him. When he discovers this, he is genuinely surprised that she was worried about him. Mamoru didn't have anyone in his life who worried about him. In the iconic elevator ride, he genuinely opens up to her. He tells her about his past, his recurring dream, why he is looking for the silver crystal, things he hasn't told anyone else before. When she tells him, “You know what? Before, I thought you were the worst person in the whole wide world. But not anymore, now you’re the second worst.” The way Mamoru looked at her as she blushed saying that, the way he prioritized Usagi’s safety over the rainbow crystals, the way he pushed her out of the way from falling icicles, the way he looked at her when he saw his Bunhead transform into THE Sailor Moon, the way he looked at her when he pulled out that rose and turned into Tuxedo Mask. Mamoru and Usagi fell for each other long before they discovered they were Serenity and Endymion. Sure, it's not as explicit and cinematic as how it is portrayed in the manga and Sailor Moon Crystal. But their attraction is there. They are on each other's minds from early on.

The way the writers developed their relationship is actually genius. By the moonlight, Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon flirt, and he calls her smart and beautiful, and he believes in her leadership and talent as a superhero. Meanwhile, by daylight, Mamoru and Usagi bicker like a married couple. It's like Lois Lane falling in love with Super Man but dismissing Clark Kent. The dialogue they share, their body language, how others notice their connection goes a little further than they realize; I recommend that you rewatch Sailor Moon Season 1 and the first arc of Sailor Moon R (Makaiju) and notice how Usagi and Mamoru act around each other and how their feelings for one another develop. It's there as clear as day, and honestly, it's one of the reasons I love Sailor Moon. It's the best story ever told. Heck, even the intro song is from Usagi's perspective, singing about her miracle romance with Mamoru.

I think the most notable difference between Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship in Season 1 and Season 2 is that Usagi is much nicer to him in Season 2. As a result, Mamoru is much friendlier to Usagi. This, in turn, provides heartwarming moments between them, such as when they took care of a baby, their first “date” at the arcade, Mamoru’s sigh of relief when Usagi shows up to interrupt Natsuki’s incessant flirting, his blushing when Usagi called herself cute and when he thought Usagi was on a date with Seijuro, as well as many more moments between them. The reason Usagi treats him much nicer is because, at the beginning of Season 2, Usagi remembered her previous lives, she remembered who Mamoru is, his personality, what they went through, how he puts himself in danger to protect her, how he died for her, and most of all, she remembered why she fell in love with him. It becomes her mission to get Mamoru to remember who she is, what they’ve endured together, and how they fell in love. The Makaijju arc serves as a retelling of their love story, as Mamoru falls in love with Usagi all over again. This happens gradually; he starts to see how this Bunhead girl went from someone who is rude to him to someone who enjoys his company, cares about others, brave, fun to be around, and is a kind friend. When they are both captured by the Makaiju tree, Mamoru asks Usagi if she is alright and reaches out to hold her hand. When he and Sailor Moon are being thrown and flung around the room, he holds on to Usagi/Sailor Moon’s hand even though this aggravates their antagonists more, causing them to inflict more pain on them. He jumps in front of Sailor Moon to protect her near-fatal blows, as she did for him, because in Usagi’s words: “I’m willing to risk my life in order to protect anyone I truly love.” At this moment, Mamoru had already fallen in love with Usagi again. It wasn’t until he felt the same love he had felt in his past lives that his consciousness, the Moonlight Knight, returned his memories. Therefore, he fell for Usagi before he remembered their past lives. His undying need to protect her literally took physical form as the Moonlight Knight. This proves that Mamoru doesn’t love Usagi because she is Serenity and because of destiny, but because he genuinely loves Usagi. The cutest part of this moment was Mamoru waking Usagi up after the battle, and calling her his little Bunhead Usagi Tsukino.

Many people argue that he fell for Sailor Moon and settled for Usagi once he found out they were the same person. It is undeniable that Tuxedo Mask felt strong feelings for Sailor Moon since he could sense when she was in danger and felt this urge to protect her. However, Tuxedo Mask made an enemy of Sailor Moon and the Sailor Senshi when it came to finding the rainbow crystals. In The Shining Silver Crystal, Mamoru and Usagi are confronted by Zoisite, who demands that Mamoru surrender his own rainbow crystals so that they can fight, and the winner takes all. Mamoru tells Zoisite that he will do so only if he promises not to harm Usagi and let her go. This was BEFORE he knew that she was Sailor Moon. He prioritized Usagi’s safety over his unwavering personal mission of finding the silver crystal. He didn’t do this for Sailor Moon; he did this for Usagi.

One of the most important arguments, if not, the most crucial evidence for the validity of Usagi and Mamoru’s love for one another is why they fell in love and if it is merely because of destiny, as many skeptics online cite this as the only reason Usagi and Mamoru are together because they feel obligated to stay together due to past in the Silver Millennium and “destiny.” I found a fantastic essay series by Sailor Moon and Me, all about studying the dynamics of Usagi and Mamoru’s relationship to ultimately answer if they truly love one another in the original 90’s anime. You can find the whole series here; I highly recommend you read it! https://sailormoonandme.tumblr.com/post/93343451085/usagi-and-mamoru-essay-series-contents-page-and

In conclusion, the author writes: “Would Usagi and Mamoru have wound up together if they had not regained their memories from their past lives? If given the right opportunities to get to know each other better, almost certainly yes. And those opportunities would’ve probably presented themselves somehow because their past lives/destiny would’ve been influencing them. Remember, they even met as children. Were they obligated to be together because of their past lives? Not exactly. Their past lives guided them and influenced them, but the personality traits that Serenity and Endymion found attractive in one another were present in Usagi and Mamoru and was likely what they’re modern-day incarnations found attractive too. In particular, these traits were on display as Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask and Usagi and Mamoru already effectively loved one another in through those identities anyway.” The author highlights a key aspect, the reason Usagi and Mamoru have fallen in love over and over again: they find each other’s personality traits attractive! Earlier in the essay series, the author brilliantly proves how, in the anime, Mamoru/Tuxedo Mask and Endymion act in the same way, as well as Usagi/Sailor Moon and Serenity. They are the same people, so if they fell in love during the Silver Millennium, they can fall in love again for the same reason, they like each other’s personalities!

Mamoru's breakup with Usagi

In the anime, after they finally get together during Sailor Moon R, he finally feels like he’s not alone. Then he gets these visions prophesizing that the woman he loves will die if he continues to be with her. He struggles with what to do; he just found someone who completes him, who gave him his lost memories and the meaning of his life. Who saw the best in him and believed in him even after him being brainwashed and soul strangled by the evil Metalia. He knows the pain that he’s caused her. He still has memories of being under Metaria's evil magic. He realized how possessed he was, enough to attempt to behead Usagi without question. He just learned that continuing to be a part of her life could put her in grave danger. He doesn’t take this lightly and breaks up with her because he thought he would protect her.

Mamoru thought that HE, HIMSELF, was the danger to Usagi. That's why he tried to get her to hate him. Even I initially judged the breakup arc as a victim of "bad writing" for Mamoru and Usagi's relationship. A few lines littered over a few episodes are unfortunately very negative coming from Mamoru's part. I cannot defend them when taken out of context. I am disappointed that the writers decided to include those few lines since they don't even correlate to Mamoru's character growth and overarching character arc over five seasons.

Furthermore, from his part, these comments are blatant attempts to portray himself as a despicable person, so Usagi would forget about him and move on. He thought that by getting Usagi to hate him, she would distance herself from him and be saved from the horrible fate he kept seeing in his nightmare. Many people use this as "evidence" that Mamoru "didn't love Usagi," and that he is a "horrible person." It is very easy to judge a guy breaking up with a girl as wonderful as Usagi and being so cold towards her. However, when you see Mamoru realize that marrying Usagi will cause her immediate death and that his only way of protecting her from this doom is to break up with her, he already hates himself. To provide more perspective of how this impacted him when he meets King Endymion in the future and realizes he was the one prophesying Usagi's death if Mamoru continues to be with her, Mamoru charges at him with anger.

There is no logical reason that Mamoru would willingly choose to make Usagi suffer. Why would he purposely put the only person he considers his family and his soulmate through so much pain and suffering. The breakup is as hard on him as it is on Usagi. This is clearly seen in Ep. 69, at the end, when he is crying by his motorcycle. He should’ve told Usako the truth about the dream. But she beats him to it in a later episode, and they decide to take control of their lives and be together, instead of believing in the nightmare. She was the one to believe in the strength of their love and do the right thing. Thanks to this arc, they learned that together they are unstoppable. Mamoru learned to trust Usagi wholeheartedly and to trust himself, as he felt that HE was the danger in her life. After the revelation that the messages from King Endymion were to test Mamoru's love for Usagi, even Mamoru realizes he made a horrible decision to lie to Usagi and hurt her the way he did. He realizes how dumb he was and latches on to Usagi and never lets her go again.

Furthermore, to provide a silver lining to the breakup arc, we have further evidence of just how much Mamoru loves Usagi. If he didn't love her, as so many people in the fandom like to claim, the breakup was his way out. But he didn't just up and leave. He hated that he had to be apart from Usagi. He truly loves her with all of his heart. He never once stopped calling her Usako. He never stopped being in awe of Sailor Moon's power, calling her invincible when talking about her to Chibiusa. He continued to help her and the Sailor Senshi in battle. He dreamt about marrying her; he imagined her face reflected on rivers; when he continued to run into her after the breakup, he was solemn realizing that it is fate that keeps making them meet.

This breakup isn’t my favorite part of the season at all, but it provides real character development and allows us to explore Mamoru’s fears and heartache. You see Usagi gets heartbroken, but she doesn't lose faith; she doesn't stop believing in Mamoru and love; she still has her circle of friends and family to fall back on. Mamoru had no one. Usagi was the only one he let in his heart. In the Sailor Moon R movie, he tells Usagi that his years of loneliness were worth it because he found her, and that she is his family. For years, Mamoru had the same dream about a princess who pleaded to him “find the silver crystal, find the silver crystal.” And this princess ended up being a real person! The girl with the weird hair he kept running into, Bunhead, Usagi, Usako! Are we internalizing how insane that is? To have literally no memories before your sixth birthday, to not remember your parents, to be an orphan with no family or close relationships, to have a recurring dream that wakes you in a cold sweat about the same person every time that pleads that you find this mysterious crystal you know nothing about? It’s insane. Of course, Mamoru has trouble with interpersonal relationships in the beginning. It’s thanks to Usagi’s constant love towards him and their growth as a couple that he becomes a kinder and more trusting person as the series goes on. Mamoru's connection to Usagi is so much deeper than the anime lets on at surface level. Mamoru went from someone who has had his memory stolen already three times, to someone who has finally found the love of his life, who was no longer alone, to someone who was forced to break his soulmate's heart and be pushed back to loneliness.

I recommend this great article that talks more about the breakup and Mamoru's perspective! http://starlight.csmalecki.com/reads/breakup.php

Mamoru's relationship with Chibiusa

On that note, of course, Mamoru felt a connection to Chibiusa. He was an orphan with no family, he finds this little kid all alone, of course, he is going to feel an urge to help her feel less alone. He connects with Chibiusa because he sees Usako in her; because he no longer has anyone else to fill the void of loneliness. Mamoru and Chibiusa are some of the characters that carry the underlying theme of loneliness in the Sailor Moon story. Chibiusa saw Mamo as someone who reminded her of her dad, and for a little girl who feels helpless and is separated from her parents, utterly alone in this strange world where she doesn't know who to trust, it is reasonable for her to latch onto him. She sees these people who look like her parents and Sailor Senshi back home but behave nothing like them. Mamoru is one of the few characters who is continuously nice to her and there for her; logically, she would want to be around him. There is an excellent article that talks about Chibiusa's "Electra Complex," I highly recommend you read it: https://shojopower.com/beautiful-like-you-black-ladys-uncomfortable-electra-complex/. Basically, it concludes that Chibiusa's "Electra Complex" is NOT sexual desire for her father but instead not being able to relate to her mother, "The Electra Complex is less about a daughter’s sexual desire for her father, but much more about the relationship between daughter and mother; the female child and her best friend." Once Chibiusa becomes Black Lady, her innocent feelings of love and attachment towards Mamoru get exploited and tainted and manifest as "sexual" attraction. But in reality, once Chibiusa can relate to Usagi, her "Electra Complex" is resolved, and Black Lady is defeated.

Tuxedo Mask is "useless."

What a double standard. Just because he is a man, he has to be the Batman or Spider-Man of the story? It’s called Sailor Moon. She is Wonder Woman; he is Steve Trevor. Tuxedo Mask exists to help Sailor Moon and support her, but Sailor Moon is the protector of the universe. The story is all about her and her fellow Sailor Senshi. It’s a female empowerment story; if you think that a male character is “useless” because he isn’t the one saving the day, you are missing the point. Tuxedo Mask has physically aided the Senshi in combat on countless occasions.

Furthermore, during numerous battles, if Tuxedo Mask had not shown up to shoot a single rose, Sailor Moon and the Senshi would have been goners. He utilizes his knowledge of physics and math during battles and is capable in hand to hand combat, as well as a formidable swordsman. In the manga and Sailor Moon Crystal, he has his own super-powered attack, Tuxedo La Smoking Bomber. Even cooler, he has a combined attack with his daughter, Pink Sugar Tuxedo Attack. He takes the place of Sailor Earth and Sailor Sun, as he possesses the golden sailor crystal. Concerning Earth, he recognizes it as his guardian planet and can "see" what the Earth feels. Concerning the sun, Takeuchi made him a Leo, a constellation related to the sun, also, when he dies, Nehellenia states that he is "The Prince of Earth, protected by the Sun."

He buys the Senshi time to power up for their Sailor Planet attack; he's freed them from traps from where they can't escape alone, he distracts villains and disables them with supernaturally strong rose darts, allowing the Senshi to give the finishing blow. I have to note; his aim is deadly. His rose darts took down Queen Beryl and Fiore, as well as others. He doesn't leave the scene until he sees the situation is under control and that the girls can handle it from there. In his dying words during the Stars arc, he proclaims that the Senshi will stop Galaxia, that she doesn't stand a chance. He believes in each of the Senshi's strengths and gives them useful advice that they apply to the situation and helps them succeed. In the story, his character supports female heroes and helps them do their best. As a female, I feel completely empowered and inspired by Sailor Moon/Usagi, by each of the Senshi and the story in general. It is rare to see female superheroes kicking butt, in a world of countless Iron Man, Captain America, Batman, Superman, and Spider-Man movies and a less than a handful of Wonder Woman and Captain Marvel movies. A male superhero in a female superhero driven story is not "useless," they simply aren't the star of the battle, and there is nothing wrong with that.

The consensus is that Usagi's kidnapping by Prince Demande is straight-up assault and absolutely repulsive from Demade's part. And rightfully so, Usagi, in tears being grabbed and forced to kiss him is horrible and uncomfortable to watch. Compare this moment to Mamoru's kidnappings. He has been objectified and kidnapped by countless villains in the story. How is this different from Usagi's kidnapping? He is forced to kiss his own daughter possessed by evil, pinned against a wall by Fish's Eye trying to get a kiss from him while he is explicitly rejecting this and saying no, was submitted to bodily possession by Metaria's dark magic on two occasions with Queen Beryl (who is obsessed and infatuated with him) doing who knows what to his unconscious body. I could go on and on, Fiore, An, Mio Kuroki; there are many occasions where Mamoru has been objectified, kidnapped, and assaulted. It is disturbing that so many people interpret this as "weakness" from Mamoru's part. These assaults and objectification are against his will. A man who has been through these horrible experiences is NOT weak. Please don't contribute to this harmful double standard. A person being assaulted is a victim, regardless of their gender.

Finally, in the first episode, when Sailor Moon is crying because she doesn't know how to fight the monster terrorizing her best friend, Tuxedo Mask appears to her and tells her "Sailor Moon, crying won't solve anything." Taken at face value, this comment is bewildering since, in that scenario (and another battle scenario in Sailor Moon SuperS), her crying became ultrasonic and incapacitated her enemies. But this comment goes further, this comment sets the tone for Usagi's series-long journey into maturing and getting over her crying habit; this is part of Sailor Moon’s character development. This personal growth is highlighted in Ep. 74 when Usagi decides to face Rubeus alone to save her friends. She reflects on how, before she would've been a total crybaby if she had to go by herself to defeat a villain, she is amazed at how far she has come emotionally. She realizes that truthfully, "crying won't solve anything." As the seasons go on, her being a self-proclaimed crybaby is still used as a point of comedy, but in the moments of real desperation, she handles herself with maturity and bravery. So, ultimately, she valued what Tuxedo Mask said to her the first time they met.

Usagi and Mamoru's age gap

One of the biggest points of misinformation in Sailor Moon is Mamoru and Usagi's age difference and the legality of their relationship. Mamoru Chiba is 17. At the start of the manga, Takeuchi intended for Mamoru to be as young as 16. Usagi Tsukino starts the story as 14, but she actually isn’t 14 for very long. The Japan school semester begins in April, and her birthday is in June. This means that Seasons 1-3 happen pretty quickly. Therefore the age difference between Mamoru and Usagi isn’t that drastic at all. Furthermore, the fact of the matter is, Mamoru behaves older than he is. Why? He has had to mature very early on in his life. He has had to take care of himself for presumably a long time. Usagi has the perfect nuclear family and at the start of the series and is rather immature. She matures as the series goes on because of her responsibilities as a guardian and protector of the galaxy. At face value, it's easy to judge Mamoru and Usagi's relationship as one with a significant age gap. However, this isn't the case. 2-3 years of age difference is not outstanding at all and in Japan even less so. They are both above the age of consent of 13 and are still both teenagers. Even in the original anime, many scripts list Mamoru as a 17-18-year-old college student, and Usagi becomes 15 early on in the series timeline. He is shown to be extremely intelligent, so being a 17 year old in college is absolutely plausible. An important point to address, he is shown driving a car when the minimum driving age in Japan is 18. However, Haruka is 16 and drives a car and even a helicopter. I’m not losing any sleep over the fact that Mamoru could be driving a car before he is 18.

People argue that if Mamoru were precisely the same age as Usagi, the "problems" would be "fixed." But like I stated earlier, Mamoru behaves more mature because he was forced to be independent and self-sufficient from a very early point in his life. Even at 14, Mamoru would appear and behave much more mature than Usagi does. He is still obviously immature in how he deals with his crush on Usagi. When Takeuchi wrote the story about Serenity and Endymion, she was basing herself on medieval romance stories where the lovers are many years apart in age. Hence, the age gap was intentional in that aspect. Again, as I stated previously, 2-3 years of age difference is hardly noteworthy, especially as the series goes on, and they mature together.

Here is an excellent post that further discusses and debunks the age gap legality rumors: https://tiny012.tumblr.com/post/184025521241/in-the-defense-of-mamoru-chiba-because-bitch-im

Final thoughts and conclusions about Usagi and Mamoru's relationship and Tuxedo Mask

In the end, Usagi and Mamoru mature and grow together; they are each other’s rock. Mamoru becomes a more laid back person around Usagi, like when he takes her to see the cats at the abandoned house to cheer her up in Ep. 91. Usagi asks him, “but are we allowed to go in there?” and he responds, “I don’t know! Who cares!” and hands her a little kitten. I love Diana’s comment in Ep. 146 about how both Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion fake being sick together to get out of meetings and commitments.

Mamoru loves Usagi for who she is; in some ways, she is everything he's not, and he loves her for that - they complete each other; he keeps her grounded while she lifts him up into craziness. And he adores it. Mamoru has told Usagi: "Never apologize for being yourself.”, "Your strong will is what I love about you most.” and “Just being with you makes my life complete.” When Fish’s Eye questioned Mamoru on why he doesn’t want to be with anyone else but Usagi, he responds, "She’s full of dreams. That’s why.” In Stars, as Chibiusa is fading from existence due to Nehellenia’s curse on Mamoru, she pleads that he remembers that both him and Usagi have always shared the same dreams. Mamoru and Usagi are pretty different, sure, but in reality, they have the same visions for the future; they share the same values, and they have the same dreams. They complement each other beautifully, and that is why their love is as strong as it is. Usagi may be a bit clumsy and a crybaby, but in Mamoru's eyes, she's perfect.

People also bring up Mamoru's avoidance of public displays of affection with Usagi as evidence that "he doesn't really love her." In Japan, public displays of affection are seen as rude and inappropriate. When Mamo is alone with Usako, they share countless cute moments. Kisses, hugs, affection.. they love each other. Let's not forget when Mamoru gave Usagi a promise ring at the airport and kissed her like they were the only two people on Earth. His last words were "Usako." He has taken countless blows and stabs in Usagi's place, and she has for him too.

We saw them fall in love over and over, as Serenity and Endymion, and as Bunhead and Jerkface. Even when brainwashed initially in Season 1, Mamoru couldn’t bring himself to hurt her and kept unconsciously helping her succeed. You can brainwash him, kill him, erase his memory, separate him from her, but there is nothing you can do to make Mamoru’s love for Usagi fade. In the words of Toru Furuya, the voice of Mamoru: "He loves Sailor Moon and Tsukino Usagi with his whole heart. I think he’s a very great person."

Finally, Tuxedo Mask gives Sailor Moon strength; he supports her to become the best superhero he knows she can be. He does his best to help the Senshi in battle, but it’s a story about girls protecting the world. Takeuchi wrote this character to fit that narrative; he is one of the characters she holds dearest in her heart. Few people can really understand the beauty of Usako and Mamo together and how Sailor Moon is breaking the stereotypes of gender roles. If you can’t understand that, it’s your loss.

Tuxedo Mask is the hero Tuxedo Mask haters deserve, but not the one they need right now, so they’ll hunt him. Because he can take it, because he’s not a hero. He’s a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a Moonlight Knight.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[eldritchsurveys]

1046.

Do you ever find yourself worrying about things that probably won't happen? >> The thing is, the things I worry about are things that can happen. I know because I’ve already experienced those things happening. It’s the likelihood of the thing happening that may or may not be skewed in my imagination, not the thing itself.

Has your imagination ever made it hard for you to sleep? >> I don’t think so.

Have you ever had a weird dream and obsessed over what it might mean? >> I’ve had plenty of weird dreams, but I didn’t obsess over their possible meaning.

Or do you usually forget about your dreams? >> Nowadays, yeah, I don’t remember my dreams too consistently.

Do you know your heritage? If not, would you ever try one of those DNA kits? >> I know enough, I suppose. I would definitely not do one of those DNA kits, for multiple reasons.

Which languages can you speak? >> Only English with any fluency.

Which language do you speak the most and why? >> ---

Which languages do you wish you were fluent in? >> ---

With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or subtitles? >> I greatly prefer subs. I like listening to different languages. Plus, I find that a lot of the times, the dub actors don’t match up well in my opinion.

Which cuisine do you like the least? >> ---

Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? >> Absolutely.

Which type of chocolate do you like best? >> I only eat dark chocolate.

Do you have a favorite kind of dog? >> Pit bulls, I guess, but I really just like dogs period.

Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? >> I would not.

Do any of your favorite musicians ever write music for/with other artists? >> I mean, probably.

What is your favorite collaboration between two different musicians? >> I can’t think of a favourite collaboration.

Who are your favorite songwriters? >> I don’t have any.

Do you like any of those oldies groups (like the Four Seasons)? >> Yep. I grew up listening to them and I still love a lot of that music.

Do you know who Bernie Taupin is? >> He writes with Elton John, don’t he? They’re associated somehow, anyway.

What are your favorite one-hit wonders? >> Meh.

What celebrities, if any, have you seen naked? >> I mean, whichever ones did nude scenes in movies I’ve seen.

Have you ever seen anybody naked by accident? >> Not necessarily by accident, just... not by my consent. Living in shelters, you see a lot you don’t necessarily want to see.

Have you ever wondered what somebody looks like naked? >> In an idly musing sense, sure.

Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? >> When I was younger.

Have you ever changed your clothes in the car? >> I don’t think so, but maybe.

About how quickly does your hair grow? >> Too quickly for my liking, considering how often I have to buzz it.

Do you have to/choose to shave anything unusual? >> No.

Do you groom (wax, pluck, or thread) your eyebrows? >> No.

Most unusual thing you have worn in public? >> I don’t know?

If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? >> I don’t have any preferred brands.

Do you use flavored lip balm? What about tinted lip balm? >> Nope, just regular coconut-oil lip balm, thanks.

What is your favorite swear word? >> ---

Are you afraid of fireworks or other loud noises? >> I’m not afraid of them, I just have sensory issues and an exaggerated startle reflex. My responses are similar to fear responses, though, so it’s all the same shit at the end of the day, I guess.

Do you make your own iced tea, or buy it in jugs/bottles? >> I buy bottled iced tea.

Have you ever made sun tea? >> No.

Do you use sugar or honey to sweeten your tea? >> I use honey sometimes, but most of the time I drink it as-is.

Do you ever put milk in your tea? >> Not usually. It’s good in chai, but I just never think about it. 

Do you prefer powdered or liquid coffee creamer? >> ---

Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? >> ---

Did you have to wear a uniform for gym class? >> ---

Did you have to take showers after gym before going to your next class? >> ---

Were you in any extracurricular activities or clubs in high school? >> ---

Have you ever picked up and kept a rock because it caught your eye? >> Yeah.

Have you attended any rock (literal rocks, not music, lol) shows? >> No.

Have you ever laughed at a scene (TV/film) that wasn't meant to be funny? >> Oh, absolutely.

Do you think they should make a movie about Hatshepsut? >> I don’t have an opinion on this.

Do you think books are better adapted as movies or TV series? >> I think TV series are better if you want to actually delve into more of the book’s content.

Any great books you would recommend? >> ---

Any great movies or TV series you would recommend? >> ---

Were you disappointed with Fox's version of the Rocky Horror Show? >> I don’t care about Rocky Horror.

Have you ever seen the original Kinky Boots movie? What about the musical? >> Never seen either.

Have you seen any Hannibal movies other than The Silence of the Lambs? >> I’ve seen Red Dragon, Hannibal, and Hannibal Rising.

Have you read any of the Hannibal novels? >> Not yet. I’ve considered reading Red Dragon, since Francis Dolarhyde is my fave, but eh. Maybe one day.

Do you like any Indie movies? >> I mean, yes.

Have there been any movies you had fond memories of, but upon a rewatch didn't like as well? >> Absolutely. Tastes and needs evolve over time.

Do you like to go to the movies alone? >> I do, I love it. I especially love it when I go to a weekday matinee a couple of weeks after a movie’s premiere and the theater is empty of anyone save me. It’s the best feeling. I had so much fun watching Venom in an empty theater :)

When you watch movies/TV with people, do you find yourself making sarcastic remarks to each other? >> Well, that’d depend on the people, I guess. And what kind of mood I’m in. And what the movie/TV show even was.

Have you ever dried down any flowers to keep them? >> No.

What is your favorite thing that you have made by yourself? >> ---

Do you like your natural accent (everybody has one)? >> I’m fine with how I speak.

What accents do you find most pleasant? >> ---

Does it bother you when an actor in a musician biopic lip-syncs to a recording of the original artist, or is it better that way? >> I don’t have an opinion about this.

Have you ever read about Dennis Nilsen? >> No.

Do you ever go on murderpedia.org to read about murderers? >> No.

Have you ever read about the Black Dahlia? >> No.

Any other unsolved crimes you find fascinating? >> No, that’s not really something I’m interested in (although I don’t mind hearing other people talk about it).

Do you care what color your socks are? >> Of course I care.

What about your underwear? >> Yes. I won’t wear most colours of underwear.

What part of a man's body do you find most attractive? >> ---

What part of a woman's body do you find most attractive? >> ---

Do you think guys look good in makeup? >> ---

Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? >> I don’t use them. They mostly seem like sensory hell to me.

Have you ever had an asymmetrical haircut? >> I had a wig that was cut asymmetrically.

Have you ever made your own pillow or blanket? >> No.

Have you ever made a pillow out of an old T-shirt? >> No, but Sparrow has.

Have you ever tried lucid dreaming? (Where you can control your dreams) Would you ever want to try? >> I’ve not given it a serious attempt, no.

If you want to be cremated, do you want your ashes scattered anywhere? >> I don’t want to be cremated.

Would you ever have a deceased pet stuffed? >> No.

Would you ever have a pet cremated? >> No.

What is your favorite sci-fi series, if any? >> I have a few. The Stargates, for example.

Do you believe in the existence of parallel universes? >> Yep.

If you could run your own business, what kind of business would it be? >> I really would rather not.

[aspirinaeffervescente]

Good Omens: Italian and French version.

I read for the first time Good Omens in English thinking that the religious topic would be a bother to me but was actually very enjoyable. 

Then I decided to read it in Italian and French, and I saw the series in these 3 languages to see the differences between the sub/dub and guys...what experience.  So here a list of strange differences that made me laugh/cry/get angry as fuck cause knowing different languages is always a funny road to Hell:

--In Italian, the tittle’s book isn’t Good Omens (that should translate in Buona profezia), but it would sound weird, so they changed it in “Buona Apocalisse a tutti!” (Happy Apocalypse, Everyone!) Honestly, a mood.

--Let’s take a moment to appreciate the two covers book of two different editions from the Italian version. I have the first one where we have this two cute thingy embraced and the second one is...ahahah just look how Crowley seems distraught by Aziraphale. I can hear him muttering “What the fuck, angel.”

--When in a book/series they change the name of some character it’s always a pain to me but at least in Good Omens made me laugh so hard that I felt sick so I think that at the end of the day is fine. In the Italian version, Aziraphale is “Azraphel”, and I can still hear the translators discussing: “Oh, Aziraphale is too difficult to pronounce, we should change it.” “Ok, how should we call him?” “Azraphel.” “But...” “It’s easier to pronounce.” *whispering* “Dude, it isn’t.” --But in the French version, they did even worse since that “Anthony J. Crowley” is “Terrence Rampa”. (Why. Just why. Have you all drunk too much champagne in the shadow of the Eiffel tower on a full moon? How could you ever think it was a good idea? It isn’t pronounced more easily, I don’t have a perfect French pronunciation, but Terrence Rampa doesn’t sound better in French. For the love of someone, stop it.) While in the series is Anthony J. Rampa. (You just decided to make angry, admit it.) --The “Angel” thingy. Ok, you see, Angelo in Italian is a common name (it’s one of my brother’s names lmao) and God forbid we get confused so in the book we have “Angioletto.” (little angel but 300% cuter) and we have “Angelo Mio” (My angel, but you should read it like a lover gently whispering this on your ear while you’re waking after a night you spent kissing in bed, cause I’m pretty sure 100% of the people thought about this while they were reading it.) --The “Angel” thingy in French is even more romantic. You can’t call me “Mon Ange” without make me going on a mental trip where we will get married in a summer day on the beach, and then spend the rest of my life cooking something nice for lunch while our children, Mohamed and Genevieve, play soccer together, and my lovely wife is tending the garden. (Cause we don’t stand for gender roles) --The voices. Ok, maybe is cause I saw Good Omens with the original audio too many times...but how is it possible that we fucked up with the actor dubber? Guys, we’re usually good at this. Crowley's voice is Christian Iansante that it wasn’t a big surprise and a little less disappointing since I spent all my childhood hearing his voice since he dubbed the tenth doctor. But Aziraphale’s voice is so wrong. Isn’t him at all. 0/100 guys, they didn’t even try.  --In the French version Aziraphale is perfect cause...he’s so anxious. It made me laugh so hard, there’s the car scene where is going to have a heart attack.  The Bastille scene made me crack cause I was curious to know how they would show that he didn’t know how to speak french (How’s that possible? I mean he talks Japanese but not french? but...during Madame Tracy’s possession he asks “Parlez-vous français?” Aziraphale, just admit you wanted to show your bomb-ass outfit to Crowley and get over it.) ahem, anyway, in that scene he just stutters and says “Sorry, I’m anxious.” My father reaction was: *whipping his own tears away* “Me too, Aziraphale.”

--Ligur French’s voice is sexy. Like...obscenely hot.  I watched the french version for the first time with my girlfriend (she’s French) and the conversation after his first line was like: *Ligur first line* My girlfriend: “Oh, oui, bend me over your desk Monsieur Ligur and punish me cause I’ve been a bad girl.” “Babe, I’m still here.” *Ligur’s second line* “Ok, I see your point, but still...” We also had a little fight over “Is the Crowley-radio-version voice or Ligur French voice sexier?” and seems like, after a night spent discussing, Ligur won, but I still stand for Crowley’s voice being sexier just for the principle of things.  --In the Italian version Crowley doesn't say “Ciao.” but “au revoir“ and when Ligur asked, “What does it mean?”  Hastur said “French, it means food.” but the word “French” is told with so much disgust that made me crack cause I see that we still put our long rivalry between French and Italians on display. Knowing this is so much funnier. 

--Again, the Italian's version book made a change that I didn’t understand for a long time (we discussed it with my father for so long and drag in this hellhole my whole family) cause in the book Crowley isn’t a demon but a devil. After so long, my grandmother just dropped the bomb informing us that “Demons are good or bad entities, but devils are the fallen angels who revolted against God and followed Satan.” so it’s more accurate say to say Crowley is a devil, not a demon.  Honestly, I think that in Good Omens universe works better the word demon since the whole point of the book was that angels and demons aren’t good or evil, they just playing their role but they can be as much good as evil. (Aziraphale is a bastard, Crowley is kind) --Remaining on this topic for a moment, I always had this feeling that the angels are more similar from the Muslim vision of angels. For them, Angels can have flaws and make mistakes and aren’t perfect since only God is perfect. Or at least, I’m atheist, and my cousin explained this to me, so I’m open to any discussion.

--Wow. In the french version Crowley (I refuse to call him Rampa) is rude. He calls Aziraphale “Ducon” that is a common swear in French but disagreeable, Crowley wouldn’t ever call Aziraphale that way. Crowley, I know that you just had a tough week but wow, not cool buddy.

  --I mean, I knew that watching Good Omens in French and Italian would make me cry considering we don’t have the whole gender-neutral pronouns, but I don’t see why you should confusing me this way. At least French decided to stay with one pronoun and deal with it while Italian is just...ok, I understand we are chaotic by nature but can we stop just for a moment? God has a female voice (good, cause I would have riot) but they use male pronouns for them. Why? Too worried to get excommunicated by the pope? We still get anxious at the idea that God could be a woman? Guys, it’s 2020, get over it. Michael pronouns are male, and this is fair to me cause I have a whole headcanon about this and I will write it soon.  Pollution pronouns are female, male, female again. The translator must have thought “If we change enough times, they won’t notice.” Beelzebub is female (Uhm), but they still use “Lord” Beelzebub and it’s ok I presume (Hey, women can be Lords too!) No, it sounds horrible considering we had this bad habit to translate everything...Signor Beelzebub sounds like they’re in charge of a carnival parade, not Hell. We could stay with “Lord” and no one would get confused by this cause we know that “Lord” is a noble title in England and this is a British comedy. We don’t have to translate everything-everything.  I mean, for these characters...why didn’t use the plural? Would sound a bit weird at start maybe but at least no one would be offended. (Not that I’m offended, to be clear, but someone could be.)

--The Italian version made me burst in flame at some point when I noticed that they tried to cancel the whole thing “Aziraphale and Crowley are a couple” avoiding every time the “my angel” in the dubb. I didn’t notice the first time, but Hell. Fortunately, Micheal Sheen and David Tennant make us saw the love even without words. Also, a point for Christian Iansante, Crowley’s dubber, cause he can make a high pitch voice when his character is panicking. We cried for “Non Voglio Andarmene.” (I don’t want to go) from Doctor who with him, we cried for the bookshop fire cause Crowley is 1000% more upset than the original version. (We stand for the drama) At the end of the day, I still remain on the facts that books and series/films should be read/watch with the original audio. I also think that reading/watching them in other languages is very interesting and a lot of fun, so I don’t think I have a definite opinion. It’s just fun. For the voices, I was convinced by Crowley for the Italian version and for Aziraphale from the french, while Italian Aziraphale is a big no and “Rampa” is rude and seems...he isn’t Crowley. I don’t know how to explain.  From the back, someone is saying that the only voice that is winning is PornFrenchLigur and I have to agree with this.

[txladyj-blog]

Chapter 8 - This Time Around

a Daryl Dixon x OFC collaboration written by @xmistressmistrustx​

Rating: Explicit

Relationship: Daryl Dixon/Original Female Character

Tags: Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Awkwardness, Awkward Flirting, Awkward Crush, Fluff and Humor, Angst and Humor, Mild Smut, Strong Language, Eventual Sex, Eventual Romance, Slow Burn, Canon Divergence, Some Canon Scenes and Dialogue

Chapters 23/?

Human nature. With all its complexities and flaws, was now the one thing that presided over a land filled with the dead. True human nature, in its most naked, exposed and unapologetic form was now both the best and worst of the world. Jess had seen the best and worst of it from her spot in the city and had managed to live, unnoticed by any survivors passing through. She’d witnessed grown men put themselves in harms way, sacrificing themselves to save children too slow and small to keep up the running pace of the adults in their group as she’d watched from her perch on the corner of the roof. In contrast, she’d stared in horror as another group simply tossed a woman out of a truck like last night’s burger wrapper, onto the street in order to slow down a small herd. She’d been bitten before Jess could grab her bow and race down the stairs. In an act of mercy that allowed her to prove to herself that she was still on the good side of human nature, she’d shot the woman in the head from the roof with a well-placed arrow and spent all night replaying the look of pure terror etched onto the stranger’s face.

Yes, human nature was complicated and destructive, inspiring and devastating. A double-edged sword. Jess was better off on her own, that much was true, but she did miss the conversation, the debate, the ideas swapping over hot chocolates and the late-night hilarity that came from a few glasses of beer and games of pool in a bar. Those days were gone and now all she had in the way of company was a reanimated dead body at the bottom of the elevator shaft and a huge stuffed bear wearing an army jacket that now took up it’s place opposite her on the roof, a stale birthday cake waited to be devoured between them on an upturned, wooden box.

“Well, Sgt Pepper. Looks like it’s just you and I celebrating another trip around the sun.” she commented as she held her glass aloft.

Merle had finished off all the whiskey and she knew better than to go scrounging for more. It wasn’t a necessity and she wasn’t about to get herself killed for a bout of nausea and a fuzzy head the next day.

The bear was tatty, threads pulled from his ears and his jacket splattered with dried blood. Jess found him in the next apartment block where he’d been positioned proudly on the pillow of a perfectly made bed in a room decorated for that of a young adult. On the floor were three bodies, two adults and a girl around 13 years old. Jess carefully nudged each one with her foot as she passed. The bullet holes in their heads told her that they hadn’t turned and like many of the people that chose to remain in the city, they thought suicide to be a better prospect than the exhausting slog to survive day by day. It hurt Jess’s heart to think that some souls felt there was no other way, but it wasn’t an option she could say she hadn’t considered at least once while she resided in her fortress of loneliness.

It was a no brainer to her. She had to leave with that bear. He reminded her so much of her own childhood companion, jacket and all. Her father had gifted it to her and during every tour and every training exercise, she found comfort in the military bear that she had dubbed ‘Sgt Pepper’. Aware that if any other survivors were passing through and saw her, she would look positively ridiculous, scurrying across the rooftops with a huge stuffed animal under her arm. But just as before the turn, she wasn’t going to change who she was to suit anyone else. Especially not in the apocalypse.

“You say it's your birthday” She sang at the bears pinned and permanent smile. She sipped the soda in the glass and slapped her other hand on her thigh to create a beat. “It's my birthday too, yeah”. She paused, looking up at Sgt Pepper as if his plastic eyes would change their expression and for a fleeting second, she was disappointed when they remained exactly the same. She raised the glass to him for a second time. “They say it's your birthday, we’re gonna have a good time” She thudded the glass on the box and began to pluck at imaginary guitar strings, closing her eyes and leaning to one side. “I'm glad it's your birthday, Happy birthday to you!” The Beatles were her favourite band ever since she was a child and that was not something that was going to change just because they and their audience weren't around anymore. Jess was still there and as long as she was, so was her love of their music. She'd found headphones while scavenging, even and old portable CD player, but her rule of keeping a clear head and always being aware of her surroundings meant that the headphones went untouched and she was reduced to singing to herself to stave off the boredom and silence. It wasn't a problem to her, she knew all of the lyrics anyway and there was no one but Ben and Sgt Pepper to complain about it.

Her eyes lowered to the dried birthday cake. Three, colored, marzipan Balloons floated across the top and the rim was adorned with cracked and discolored frosting. The chances of a strong bout of stomach cramps after consuming it were high, but it was her birthday and she was going to have a damn cake if she wanted to. A single candle flame flickered in the center of the off-white frosting and as she blew it out, she wished that she would survive long enough to see mother nature take back the earth. To reclaim what was hers and what was destroyed by the arrogance of human nature. She wanted to see vines and branches seep into the cracks of buildings, pulling them apart and turning them into a ghostly mirage of what once was. But through it all, she wanted to be around, content and safe and able to live into her old age while still being the survivor she had realized she really was.

She also wished for something else; that one day, Daryl would know how much he inspired her. If nothing else, she wanted that for him. Without his guidance, his training and his words, she was certain she would be dead. He may have broken her heart, but at one point, somewhere in between all the angst and anger, he believed in her. She regretted not writing it in the note she left pinned to the tree but time was of the essence and she had to think quickly. Now, when she thought back to the good times spent tracking and hunting in the woods, putting Walkers down and making fun of one another, it made her smile. A smile that was not through genuine happiness. Far from it. It was a smile of sadness for times that she desperately missed. But they were times of blissful ignorance of how he really felt, times based on a lie. She pressed her eyes shut and quickly shook the thoughts from her head. She watched the thin, sliver of smoke drift up from the wick. Picking up a plastic fork, she stabbed the cake and shoveled a large piece of the sponge into her mouth. Wincing at the dryness, she chewed and swallowed hard. It was like eating sand.

“Happy fuckin’ birthday to me.” She sighed.

She had resorted to guessing the time of day by using a sundial or her hands against the horizon from the roof. Her knowledge of such historical practices had proved to be invaluable and she now appreciated her interests much more than she ever did before the turn. The night was creeping in, dulling the view from the roof and creating a cold sting in the air. There was just enough time for some target practice.

The streets below the apartment were far from clear. Walkers milled in and our of side streets and alleys, some amassed in the middle of the road and if it wasn’t for Jess’s diversion tactics from time to time, she was sure the street she lived on would be clogged with festering corpses by now. Fireworks were usually the best, she’d found. They seemed to like fireworks. The dreamer in her liked to think that maybe the noise and the colors stirred something deep inside their mainly inoperative brains, some kind of distant memory of 4th July firework shows or new year celebrations. But the realist side of her knew differently. Now, they were even lower than most animals, driven to move by sounds but completely devoid of thought or any type of feeling. Just shells.

She picked up her bow and slid on her bracers as she approached the small wall that lined the edge of the roof. The faint murmur of the odd, swaying Walker was the only sound that rose from the scene below. Taking a peek over the edge, she nodded in approval at the numbers.

“That’ll do.” She said to herself before picking up a small, children’s chalkboard that rested against the inside of the wall. Her eyes flickered over the names on the list, selecting the first one and shuffling forwards to get into position.

“OK, Madonna. Are you out tonight?”

With one foot placed in front of the other, her body turned and her stance strong, she raised the bow and nocked an arrow. She smiled when she noticed her. A blonde woman with wavy, hair wearing what appeared to be a thin, satin nightgown. She wasn’t as designer clad as the real thing, but she would suffice as a target. She drew the bow string back and exhaled slowly as she took aim. The Arrow embedded in the side of the Walkers head as if it was nothing but a bag of sand and she hit the floor, causing the others around her to start shuffling towards her.

“Oof!” She exclaimed with a fist pumped in the air. “That one was a ten pointer. Sorry, Madonna.” She marked her score on the chalkboard next to the name and checked her next target.

Sarah.

It was now a habit, each time she re-filled the board with names, Sarah and Jodie’s would always be mixed in somewhere. Jess was never one to remain bitter or hold grudges, too many so-called friends had come and gone over the years to make sure she’d got used to it. But she was also never one to not make an exception for some things. When she was feeling low and having a bad day, the list of names on the board changed and she wondered at one point if she should indulge in an ‘abhorrent people target practice day’ once a week, where Sarah and Jodie’s names could mingle with the likes of Hitler, Robert Mugabe and Vlad the Impaler. But it was yet to happen because she wasn’t bitter. Not at all. Or, so she told herself as she chose a doppelganger of Sarah and took aim.  

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Ben was hanging on the bars of the elevator gate when she descended the stairs, his arms were loosely draped through the gaps and his face was pushed against the cold metal. She lifted a hand in acknowledgement before sitting down on the bottom step in front of him and seeing him try to reach out to her. She held her hand out, gently tickling his grasping, blackened fingertips in what could have been seen as a gesture of affection.

“Hey dude. So, my birthday cake tasted like feet but it was one hell of a pity party you missed.”

The sound of her voice was like fuel for Ben. He instantly began to clamber up from his spot, hanging through the gate and started to snarl at her, his mouth hanging open and his teeth bared.

“Not that I know what feet taste like.” She added, her eyes locking on his now cloudy, pale and blinded orbs. “I guess you might though. Depending on how long you’ve been locked in there.”

Stepping back, Ben’s arms dropped from the grate and he stumbled backwards, his body hitting the back of the elevator and causing it to shake. A slight jingle caught her attention and she froze, straining her ears. As he moved back towards her, his pocket gave off a tinkling sound and Jess quickly put the pieces of the puzzle together. Many a week had passed when she’d been sitting on that same step engrossed in a one-way conversation with the dead man trapped inside his cell. Sometimes she even contemplated if he really would try to hurt her if she managed to somehow release him from the confined space he occupied. But then she reminded herself of her own naivety and how that kind of thinking could get her killed. Ben was a Walker. A mindless, stinking, lump of useless flesh but still a predator in his own right.  

“You have the goddamn keys to the elevator in your pocket, don’t you?” She asked him.

He stilled and her eyebrows raised. She knew better than to think he could understand her, but it was strange nonetheless. The keys would change everything. She could get him out of there and actually make use of him. She sprang up from her spot.

“I have an idea. Wait here.” She told him. After striding up two steps she rolled her eyes and sighed at her own stupidity.

Like he’s going to go anywhere.

When she returned, she placed her supplies in front of her; a cylindrical block of wood with a dish cloth tightly wound around it, attached at either end to a string of thick, rubber bands, a hockey mask and a length of rope tied into a slipknot. Another one of her skills acquired from the thousands of books she had now amassed in her apartment. She paced back and forth for a few moments, observing how Ben followed her every move from behind the barrier like a magnet. Although she was almost certain he was blind, he was completely obsessed with her and she huffed with amusement when she figured that he was only guy that had ever been obsessed with her…and he was dead.

She picked up the block of wood and tilted her head to the side, it would fit through the gaps perfectly but her task was not going to be easy. Her left arm was covered with three, thick layers of tape, strapped over a Kevlar sleeve and glove in case Ben fancied a snack halfway through his rescue mission. She was now glad of her forethought. She threaded her arm through the grid, silently and without rattling the metal. Ben, who could detect no sound whatsoever, merely peered around through his useless eyes as she used her armor covered hand to quickly grasp the back of his head. He jolted and began to gnash at her, the sounds bubbling up from his throat as his lips parted provoking a rush of bile from her own stomach. She couldn’t have prepared for the smell or the sound of liquidated, rotting human organs no matter how much she knew about Walkers. She snapped his head back as he grabbed a hold of her police issue vest and dragged her forwards, slamming her body against the gate. With her other hand, she managed to wedge the piece of wood so far between his jaws that they became locked in position. She quickly stretched the string of bands over his head, creating a most macabre and brutal gag but an effective one regardless.

He thrashed and growled, throwing himself at the gate over and over until Jess was able to shove a hand into his pocket and pulled out the biggest bunch of keys she had ever seen. Her heart dropped as she stepped back and sat down, the racket of Ben desperately trying to get to her now drowned out by just how many keys she had to contend with.

“Guys got the keys to every lock in the city on here.” She mumbled.

She began sorting through them, checking the branding on the lock and looking for a match. She must have gone through at least twenty keys before she stopped and pinched one particular one between her fingers. She looked up at the lock again.

“Nova” She whispered.

The key boasted the exact same branding. She stood up, moved closer to the lock and slid the key into the chamber. Holding onto the gate as tightly as she could, she gently and quietly turned the key, a subtle click made her smile. She’d found it. The whole time he’d been locked inside, Ben possessed the key to his freedom all along. At first, she didn’t know if someone else had thrown him in there but now it was evident; he’d been bitten and locked himself in.

“That was noble of you. But this is my apartment complex now and you’re going to earn your keep.” She quipped, swiping up the hockey mask and rope from the floor. She shoved the mask under her arm and released the lock, slowly sliding the gate back. The rattling noise sent Ben into a frenzy and he collided with the gap she’d created in the gate with such force that she doubted her ability to follow through with her plan for a moment. She took a deep breath, reached into the gap and snapped the mask over his gagged face. Next, she threw the rope around his neck and pulled it tight before throwing the gate open.

He threw himself at her, knocking the mask against the side of her face while she tried to tighten her grip on the rope enough to keep his head away from hers.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m pleased to see you too buddy.” She remarked.

Ben couldn’t have been more than 30 years old when he was alive and Jess gathered that even thought he was now deceased and extremely dangerous, he was once a good-looking guy. She felt a pang of sympathy for such a wasted life. But what else was left to hang around for? The experience of wresting the undead from elevators and up the stairs to a roof wasn’t one she’d wish on anyone else. By the time she’d maneuvered him to the top of the steps and shoved open the heavy, metal door to the roof, he’d quieted considerably. Jess knew Walkers didn’t get tired; they no longer possessed the brain capacity to register fatigue. Nor were they able to come to the conclusion that something wasn’t worth the trouble. She didn’t know why he became more compliant, but she certainly wasn’t about to complain.

Tying him to a pipe inside a ramshackle, wooden shed. She stood back and looked him over, pleased with her efforts and feeling triumphant at the result. She now had a moving target, a sparring partner and little did Ben know; he was about to become her Sensei.

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She’d lost track of time. It had been months, she knew that to be a fact, but just how many had escaped her. Her need to journal would have helped keep tabs on just how long she’d been housed in the apartment block in the city, but she had Sgt Pepper and Ben and she chattered away to them without a care in the world, dispelling her darkest fears and her inner most private thoughts. There wasn’t a need to write everything down anymore, not in a world where no one and everyone was listening all at once. If she tried to guess, she looked at her crops which filled the balcony and most of the rooftop, they were huge, prospering in the summertime and struggling during the winter. But they still existed she thought it had maybe been close to a year that she’d lived alone.

People below had come and gone. Rarely was it that anyone would try her apartment. If they did, they found it to be locked up tighter than a secret military camp and soon moved on when they realized the noise and time it would take to enter such a building while surrounded by Walkers just wasn’t worth it. In so many months she had uttered hardly a word to anyone but Merle, who’s absence was felt much greater than she ever would have expected or would care to admit.

Training with Ben was one of life’s perks, she enjoyed experiencing the change in not only her body, but her mind as she jabbed and kicked her way into a full, self-defense skill set using a dead guy as her fake attacker. She goaded him, riled him up until he would lunge at her and swipe with his arms and kick out with his legs. His hands constantly grabbed for her, the need to taste human flesh far too great for him to ignore. But Ben could only go as far as his leash allowed and his hockey mask was eventually replaced each evening before he was led back to his shack.

Gunfire interrupted one sparring session during a hot, summers evening and Jess’s head snapped around while the rest of her body completely froze. Ben also stilled and started to jolt and snarl at the source of the bangs. It was close, much too close for comfort. She wiped the sweat from her brow and eyes and crept to the edge of the roof, her heart almost stopped at the view below.

Is that a…a TANK?!

Driving towards her corner apartment block with a speed that couldn’t be easily stopped, was an M1 Abrams Tank. Jess had seen them many times before, a sight that Army brats tended to get used to. It was flanked by a dozen, heavily armed men with their weapons pointed at the door to her block. Her chest constricted when she heard them start to jeer and her eyes clocked another vehicle turn a corner at the top of the street. A large, black truck that was equipped with an animal cage on the flatbed. Inside the cage, was a screaming woman. She scanned each face as quickly as she could. Blackened teeth. Then, she observed their hands and movements. Tremors. Poor coordination. She’d read about the depths some humans would reach on the moral scale in a post-apocalyptic situation. Fear raged through her body and she stumbled back when the tank collided with the door on the ground floor.

I have to get out of here.

The building shook and she whirled around, her mind racing and her heart hammering. Adrenaline began to surge through her veins, urging her to remove herself from the threat. She grabbed Ben’s rope and sprinted to the roof door. Dragging him down the steps, sweat trickled into her eyes and she cursed the timing of the attack above all things.

Could have waited until training was over. Jesus.

Crashing through the door to her apartment, she fastened Ben’s rope to the radiator and he thrashed and clawed at her as she dashed around the living space, filling her bag with handguns and supplies. She quickly slipped on anything Kevlar or armored she could find and collected what seemed like millions of arrows from almost every room. Now, there was shouting ringing out from the floors below.

“Place is cleared. Someone lives here, keep searching!” ordered a man’s voice that she could just about make out as a muffled sound through the floorboards. They were on the floor below. She had to be fast. Now wasn’t the time for sentiment, now, she had to be practical, smart and stealthy. She threw the backpack she’d lifted from yet another dead policeman onto her back, the barrels of the guns inside poked at her back but she paid it no mind as she collected her primary weapon, her bow from the hook on the back of the front door. A machete nudged against her leg as she walked, pinned there by the loop on its handle around the belt loop on her pants. She quickly freed it, clutching it in her hand as she adjusted her backpack. She stopped and looked at Ben.

He was glaring at her with his white eyes in the middle of the room, his rope was pulled taut and his neck tendons protruded. His hands were locked out in front of him with his fingers fanned out. She could hear the men clearly now, they were on the other side of the door and with every harsh bang of the wood in the frame, her heart jumped. She closed the gap between her and the corpse. Taking hold of one of his hands but not allowing him to pull her any closer. She gradually shifted his position in the room and gently squeezed his fingers.

“Don’t let me down” She whispered.

She raised the machete, sliced through his rope and ripped the wooden gag from his mouth. Then, she turned on her heels, taking hold of the window frame and diving through the gap. Outside, she slammed the window shut and watched as Ben’s hands slapped against the glass.

“Slow ‘em down, buddy. Thanks for the lessons.” She smiled.

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Daryl chewed his bottom lip as he adjusted his position on the rickety, prison mattress. His back was pressed against the wall and no matter how hard he tried, she couldn’t shake the thought that of all the places the group could have ended up, a prison had to be one of them. He hated being forced to sleep in a cage and live behind heavy, clanking doors. Even the sound of Rick’s keys irritated him. Rick, the leader. Rick the prison guard.

He wasn’t a regular at the Georgia Department of Corrections like his brother. But he’d been on the wrong side of the law just enough to know what staring at the same four walls, sitting at the same metal table and taking a dump in the same room that you sleep in was like. Charges for drug possession and fighting were hardly the kind of things he wanted to share with the rest of the group and so, he kept himself to himself, merely stating that he’d rather sleep outside of the cells. That was when he slept at all.

In his hands, he held a newly carved bolt for his crossbow. His ability to make them had improved some over the months and it was now second nature to him to create as many as possible while sat around, babysitting his brother who was locked in the cell opposite him.

Merle hadn’t managed to track Daryl down since leaving the city. Instead, he’d come across another group of survivors led by a callous psychopath and had slotted perfectly into his role as the main foot soldier. Everything had been fine and dandy for Merle at first, he was given a metal prosthetic arm with a removable bayonet attachment which meant he was never short of a weapon against the undead. He had a roof over his head, food in his belly and medicine at his disposal. Above all else, he had a purpose, a job that he did well and with gusto. That was, until Daryl appeared in front of him. The Atlanta groups run in with the Governor and his community has resulted in a lot of pain, injuries, fear and grudges, some of it at the hands of Merle, who was at the center of it all, but he was Daryl’s blood and he had made it clear that now they were together again, he would not be parted from Merle again. Initially, the two of them left the group and headed into the woods, but things were not as they used to be. Daryl had changed and with it, Merle felt outcast, even from the lifelong bond the two of them had shared since Daryl had entered the world as a sensitive and observant child. Merle quickly realized that Daryl had a code that he stuck by no matter what. A code that meant others were put before himself which infuriated and baffled Merle. A fight in the woods revealed a childhood trauma that they both shared, much to Merle’s surprise. He was aware that Daryl was a witness to violence in their household, but the extent of which was only evident upon a scuffle in which Daryl’s shirt was ripped, revealing deep, scarred lacerations to his skin. Then, everything changed.

Daryl made it clear that he was going back to the prison. Back to the group he belonged with and Merle had the choice to either walk away or try to make nice with the others. Being parted from his little brother for a second time was the less favorable option and so, Merle decided to tag along with Daryl. Upon their arrival at the fences, they found the place under attack from Walkers and although Merle helped to save lives, he was still bundled into a cell and scowled at by every other member of the group. No one had forgotten the things he had done and no one was about to forgive and forget.

“The hell were ya doin, running with that psycho?” Daryl asked.

Merle was leaning on the bars, his good hand smoothing a thumb around the edging of his prosthetic stump. His hooded, weathered eyes fixed on his brother. He found it difficult to believe that someone could change as much as Daryl had. He saw him, carrying out orders for Rick, going out on runs alone, doing as he was told. It was unlike the Daryl he’d grown up with, yet he’d always known that his baby brother was more emotionally driven than he had ever been.

“Everybody’s a psycho now, little brother. Everybody’s got a gun, a kill number and a big ol’ chip on their shoulder. Hell, I’d be more worried if some sommbitch walked up to me with his mitts in his pockets.” He reasoned with a small shrug.

Daryl shook his head in disbelief at his brother’s casual attitude to his actions. Merle was never one to take responsibility for anything, least of all his misgivings. Apparently, the end of the world hadn’t changed that in him.

“They ain’t never gonna trust ya, ya know that, right?” Daryl confirmed.

“Yeah, I know.” Merle agreed with a hint of exasperation in his voice. Daryl went back to carving his bolts, slicing through thin pieces of wood with his sharp hunting knife. “I don’t know why I do the things I do. I’m a damn mystery to me.” Merle added.

Daryl scoffed and glanced up from his task.

“You’re a dumb ass, man.” He mumbled.

They both huffed in amusement and Merle couldn’t help but revisit the last few months and how he’d come to be locked up in a cell, even after everyone died and started eating one another. Was this really where he was meant to be? Maybe he was bad through and through, just like their daddy used to say. Maybe he didn’t deserve any more chances after the one he’d been given in the city. Then, he remembered her. Jess.  

“Remember the little, fat chick from the quarry?” He asked.

Daryl's body tensed and his eyes slowly worked back up from his bolt. He remembered her. Of course, he did. He thought about her every single day, especially when he closed his eyes at night. He wished he could wake up one day and she’d just be there, having never ran away. He remembered her because she was the only person he’d managed to connect with in his entire, sorry life.

“What ‘bout her?” he rasped.

“I seen her” Merle stated, his expression becoming smug as he straightened up and tilted his head back, looking down his nose at Daryl.

“She’s alive?!” Daryl exclaimed as he sat up to gain a better view of his brother’s expression. It was not lost on him that this could all be a lie to get him out of the cell.

“Was a few months back, mind. But yeah, all in one piece.” Merle told him.

Daryl stood up, dropping his knife and bolt and slowly approaching the cell door.

“Where is she?” he wanted to know.

Merle grunted and rubbed his face as he watched Daryl’s entire demeanor change. He was becoming irritated at the lack of information and it was apparent to Merle that Jess meant something to him, after all.

“Asked me to keep my mouth shut about that part.”

With his teeth locked together and his breathing increasing, Daryl began to stalk back and forth in front of the cell door, his boots scuffing on the smooth surface of the floor. He no longer thought it was a lie. He knew well enough that Jess would have made herself known if she wanted to, especially by then. After all, he found a note to prove it.

“She don’t wanna be found, kid. Let it go.” Merle added.

He stopped his pacing and let out a loud sigh. This kind of discussion was rare for the Dixons, it involved a degree of emotion and honestly which was something Merle didn’t seem to possess and Daryl managed to hide extremely well. Until the mention of her name.

“She doin OK?” He questioned “Least tell me that much. Please”

“She’s good. She’s real smart.” Merle nodded.

Picking up a pile of previously carved arrows from a table, Daryl began to sift through them with his fingertips. It looked to Merle like he was counting them, but he knew Daryl better than he knew himself. He was using them as a distraction. Merle didn’t even flinch when Daryl angrily threw the handful of wood onto the floor, the sound was like a million pencils falling from a table and rolling across the ground.

“Just tell me where she is!” Daryl raged.

Merle couldn’t help it when the corners of his mouth lifted into a small smile.

“Ooof! You got it bad, huh, boy?”

“Shut up.” Daryl hissed, turning his back and trying to calm himself. His shoulders heaved as he breathed. “I’m your fuckin’ brother” He muttered, hearing a rasped growl from behind him. A glance over his shoulder told him that Merle did really want to tell him as he witnessed him lean his head on the bars and close his eyes.

“I owe her, OK? She did right by me. Mans only as good as his word.” Merle explained.

Daryl spun around, his face now enraged and reddening fast, his eyes were filled with the kind of anger that Merle had usually only seen when the two of them fought and it was never the same kind of rage that presented itself in a fight with anyone else. It was different. It was real.

“Word?! WORD?! You can’t be fuckin’ serious! Your word counts for shit, Merle! You tortured Glenn and Maggie so don’t start pretendin’ you’re some good guy, ya ain’t!” Daryl yelled.

“I ain’t no good guy but I got a code. Just like you.” Merle retorted.

Stooping down to collect his arrows, Daryl knew he had to remove himself from the building or he would end up strangling the truth out of his own brother. With all of the arrows gripped in his hand, he pointed them at Merle and narrowed his gaze.

“If they wanna starve ya, I’mma let ‘em. If they wanna torture ya, I’mma walk away. I ain’t doin’ nothin’ for ya until ya tell me where Jess is. They can keep ya in that damn cage for all I care.”

Before he could think of an answer, Merle was left alone in the room with nothing but the fading echo of the door slamming for company.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Jess was running for so long that her feet were starting to burn and her knees were seizing up. She needed to stop somewhere and rest but being snared by the group of men with the black teeth and the woman in the cage was a thought that struck pure terror into her soul. She was sure she’d rather be eaten by Walkers than trapped with such a group. She’d stayed away from any roads, trekking through woodland and climbing over fences to remain undetected. Her clothing had helped keep her under the radar; a tight, black Kevlar top covered with her police vest and a black, hooded jacket. Dark camouflage cargo pants, black hand gun holsters and a mask that covered her mouth with a plastic outer shell that she had found on a dead biker as she fled the city.

Her bag was starting to feel heavier with every step as she approached a small town filled with abandoned cars. It looked as though people may have tried to settle there after the outbreak and the vehicles were left in a panic. She surged forwards, trying each car, looking for keys and gas. If she could just find one with enough to get her further away from the city, she could take some time to rest up. Darkness enveloped the town and birds and crickets sang a chorus as she wound her way through the cars, pleading with whatever deity would listen to just give her a break.

Then, her prayers were answered. A station wagon filled with boxes of clothes roared to life and to Jess’s delight, the tank was almost full. She set to work removing all the boxes, lightening the load so the gas wouldn’t be consumed as quickly and settled in the front seat. She pulled the door closed and drove off. Her destination was unknown but as far away from the city as she could get would be a start.

It was days before the truck ran out of gas and Jess had managed to put many, many miles in between her and the group that had almost captured her. On her journey, she’d swept through houses and collected anything she could carry on foot. She slept in buildings where they could be secured and had more than one exit, consumed any food she found in strict intervals, ensuring it lasted as long as possible and continued in the same direction she’d been travelling in for two weeks. She wasn’t sure exactly what she was looking for in a settlement, just that it had to be safe, away from other people and walkers and with the capacity to be self-sustainable. Then, she found the boat.

Situated in the middle of a lake, accessible only by a large, fortified gate at the end of a dirt track that was well hidden from any passersby, Jess thought it might have been an old quarry due to its similarities to the old camp. The top of the gate was covered with razor wire and she narrowly avoided being sliced to ribbons when she caught her backpack on the barbs. But a rigorous wiggle and some quick thinking had literally saved her skin. The boat was so far away from the shoreline that Jess accepted that she had to use a canoe that was moored by a jetty. The water appeared to be untouched and there wasn’t a walker in sight. But chances weren’t to be taken when the dead roam the earth and she had to be sure. A collection of rocks of all sizes ended up in the lake, she threw them out as far as she could, trying to cause a stir and encourage any swimming walkers to rise to the surface. But nothing came to pass. By the evening, she’d hunted a rabbit and cooked it over a small fire on the beach. Using the skin attached to a tree branch, she dangled it in the water as the sun was going down and pondered how relaxing the place seemed.

“Huh. Walker fishing.” She mumbled to herself.

When nothing happened and the rabbit skin floated off the branch and out into the body of water, she decided to risk rowing out to the boat. Much to her surprise, the water was crystal clear and she spotted fish swimming below. Her stomach growled, the stringy, fatty meat of a rabbit hardly sufficing when such plump, and apparently disease-free fish were swimming all around her.

I need a fishing rod.

Climbing aboard, it was clear that she was not stood on a regular boat. This was luxurious, spacious and well looked after. The deck was starting to show signs of disrepair but it was a far cry from the dilapidated state of some of the houses she’d stayed in. She crept inside, sweeping the rooms one by one and eventually finding the inhabitants of the vessel. A middle-aged couple on the double bed in the largest bedroom of three. Both wrapped in an embrace in the middle of a mass of bottles of pills. She moved into the room, draping a sheet over them and resting her hand on the man’s arm.

“I hope you’re at peace. The world sure isn’t”

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Merle stared at the dangerous, powerful and very angry black woman in the passenger seat of his car. She was not one to be messed with and that explained why he needed to knock her out before bundling her into the car and driving her to the Governor. It was all the man wanted. Michonne was responsible for his life changing injury after taking one of his eyes out with her samurai sword. Now, he wanted revenge and Merle was more than aware that if the Governor didn’t get what he wanted; he would obliterate the entire group. The group his brother was a part of.

“So, he takes you in, cleans you up and feeds you a load of bullshit. Why would you kill someone else for him?” She asked.

Merle didn’t answer, his eyes were on the road but his attention was elsewhere, with the safety of his brother back at the prison. He didn’t want to be there, handing Michonne over to the man that would ultimately torture and kill her was most definitely not something he wanted to do. But there were little options that he could see. Only he knew the true wrath of the Governor.

“We could go back. You and me. We could just go back.” She suggested.

“Ain’t gonna happen.” He commented.

“Why?”

Her eyes were bearing into his soul and wished he could put into words the things that were circulating in his mind. He had killed sixteen people since he’d been with the governor. Before that, he’d killed none. It dawned on him that Michonne was right, why would he kill any more people when he did have another way out? The alternative was less appealing and altogether more permanent. But it was an alternative nevertheless. He stopped the car and raised his prosthetic hand, the bayonet was fixed to the end. Michonne leaned back slightly in her seat, wondering if he might slit her throat there and then and cut out all the talking. Instead, Merle hooked the blade through her wire handcuffs and cut her free.

“You go back. I got somethin’ I gotta do on my own.” He told her, nodding towards the door. “But you’re gonna tell my brother somethin’ for me.”

NEXT CHAPTER

[fizzingwizard]

Years and years later, I finally watched the English dub of Digimon Tri!

I thought only the first movie got dubbed but looks like it’s all 6. Not that I plan to watch them because I’m definitely not digging the dub of Saikai X’D

I mean, to be fair, Saikai isn’t the best of the Tri movies. Althought I now like it a lot, I remember when it first came out how many of us were quite confused and disappointed by it - it moves quite slowly, the animation is okay but clearly low budget, it just lacks the usual showmanship and flair of a story opener meant to hook people in for 5 more movies. As a Digimon fan, and in particular as a Taichi fan, I appreciate the hell out it, but I hate that I can’t defend it to the death the way I’d like to. It gives absolutely essential Taichi scenes and reintroduces each of the characters in ways that, while maybe not Hollywood-worthy, at least felt familiar and true to each one. For me, Saikai gets good once Kuwagamon appears at the soccer game, and gets really good at Haneda. Just gotta make it through the slow beginning.

Anyway, back to the dub itself. What did I like? I liked JOSHUA SETH. I loved his voice as a kid. Even before I was a Taichi fan (because I was a Takeru fan as a child, and even found Taichi a bit annoying!), his voice was my favorite in the US dub cast. I was over the moon when I heard they got him for Tri and it was the sole reason I wanted to try watching the dub. Also super happy about Izzy’s voice actress too, who I also always loved. (side note, I was watching with a friend, and when Agumon spoke he immediately said “hey its mickey mouse”).

Vic Migogna’s Matt wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected. It’s just so weird to me that his voice gets *higher* as he grows older xP but actually Vic Mignogna seems to have reined it in a bit and it wasn’t as glaring a change as I was dreading. Still not my first pic for Matt, but whatever.

Joe’s voice is completely different, but it jives with Tri’s “Joe is hot” take, so I’m down. TK’s voice is also fine although almost indistinguishable from Matt’s.

Where it goes wonky is, as usual, the girls’ voices. I actually really liked Meiko’s. It’s been so many years that even though some of them are the same, they don’t sound the same at all. Sora has the same voice actress but she sounds completely different. Mimi, too, really sounds her age, and no surprise, given that she’s a woman in her 60s pretending to be 16 xD But she still sounds peppy and bubbly so that’s good. The big disappointment for me was Kari. On my list of favorite voices in the US dub, Kari probably came right after Taichi for me, so I was sad they had to get a new voice actress for her. Would have been okay if the voice had suited her, but it doesn’t. Her new voice actress, combined with the sarcastic vein the dub insists on giving her, turn her into a totally different character. I kept thinking she sounds like one of those loud yelly girl characters who push the boys around like what’s her face on Hey Arnold. So that was the one big casting issue for me.

Lastly, Nishijima and Himekawa. Himekawa’s voice is fine. Wouldn’t have minded something a little less standard for her but it’s ok. Nishijima’s voice is good, just WRONG. He’s a laid-back man with a lot of life regrets trying to just get by day by day and live a useful, semi-happy life. Yes, he works for a secret government agency, but he also wears crocs and big ugly T-shirts to his cover job as a calligraphy teacher. He shouldn’t sound like Nick Fury!!! What the friiiiick

and you know what else, as happy as I am that they got so much of the old cast back, I don’t know what it is, but all of the voices sound way too similar. I mistook TK for Matt and Joe for Taichi and Matt for Taichi and Mimi for Sora and Hikari, like, constantly. xP They’re all different voices but they sound just similar enough for it to be kind of lacking in contrast. At least Izzy’s voice is unmistakable.

Then there’s the dub itself, which is a true homage to the US dub of Adventure in that 1) it inserts bad jokes where none are needed, 2) it fills dramatic silences with useless/repetitive information, and 3) use way too many words (not much you can do what with the difficulties in transation but). I like the Adventure dub, I always thought it was funny, but it definitely ate up a fair bit of character stuff with its jokes and lack of harmony with the source material. Tri is like that only the jokes aren’t as funny and the disharmony is magnified by the strangeness of the characters’ voices coupled with their weird dialogue.

And a lot of that dialogue is just so pointed! Yamato’s so nasty to Taichi with less obvious reason! In the soccer match vs live concert scene, Sora’s not just panicked and annoyed, she’s mouthing off! Even Hikari’s poking fun (tho to be fair she does come across much more like a real little sis, ehehe).

Then there’s my favorite bit... when Omnimon’s about to shoot Alphamon, Taichi’s really into the battle now, but then he suddenly remembers how much damage they’re causing and loses his motivation, and the attack shrinks as a result. In the original, Taichi doesn’t say anything, just makes faces that show what he’s thinking. It’s a bit awkward but works. In the dub? While he’s excited, he shouts “YEAH!” and then, seconds later, “UH-OH!” That uh-oh!! killed me. It sounded like Scooby-Doo. Like “Oops, my mom will totally ground me for this!” Come on, dub X’D

It’s of course possible that the other dubbed movies that apparently exist are done much better, but I’m afraid I have no interest in watching them. Will only happen if my friend says he wants to. I’m more than happy with the subbed version.

And to be completely fair. I’ve lived in Japan for several years now and I don’t struggle to use or understand Japanese on a daily basis. But it’s still not my first language, and that creates a buffer when I watch things in Japanese with subs versus when I see them in English. It’s to be expected I’m going to be harder on my native language because the faults are naturally going to be more glaring, whereas they’re easier to forgive or go completely unnoticed with languages I’m not programmed with from birth. So I’ll end by saying, it’s not like Saikai the original was perfect in any way - it also has its points of stilted dialogue, and there were many a time over the 6 movies that we fans were confused by awkward transitions etc. I still find it infinitely preferable.

My biggest and final beef with this movie is just that it’s no good for casual or non-Digimon fans. That we always knew and it didn’t bother me before, but having watched the dub it now feels so much like shooting yourself in your own foot. Le sigh. I wasn’t looking to land oodles of new fans or anything, I just would have liked to be able to show it to friends and have them at least say “seems cool!” instead of “lol”

[warriorofdragons]

Light in the Dark Chapter 1: Call for Help

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: blood, language, hospital scenes

Hands shaking you scroll through your phone looking for the new contact you had created. Finding it you tap on it and then pause. Staring at the number on your screen labeled MTF you exhale shakily.

This was a last resort.

There’s no telling if they’d even actually help you. But you’re running out of time. You tap the number and hold the phone up to your ear. You listen to the dial tone and spare a glance at your right side. Crimson is seeping through your clothes and coating your hand as you try to staunch the blood. Struggling to keep your eyes open, you draw in a shaky breath and silently plead for someone, anyone to pick up.

                                                        *******

Kandomere was busy looking over the case file with his team. Trying to piece together what little they knew about this Bright and where to find her based on her last known location.

A week and a half they’ve been on the hunt.

And a week and a half it’s been raining almost non-stop with no signs of slowing. The only solid evidence they have to go on is the security footage and eyewitness testimony from a convenience store. Two gunmen had attempted to rob the orcish store clerk when she had intervened. Using magic she had easily disarmed them, forcing them to flee. The store clerk in his testimony had said that he had demanded that she leave, having become frightened of her and even threatened to call the Magic Task Force on her. To which he inevitably did. She had fled the scene before agents could arrive to apprehend her and little has been seen of her since. They didn’t even have a name to go with this mystery woman.

But Kandomere had a theory that the change in weather was connected to her. And him and Montehugh were now in the process of cross-referencing weather patterns with possible sightings.

“The storm did pick up over in this area, after that one lady called in,” Montehugh offers. “It did, but it also picked up over here at about the same time,” Kandomere countered pointing to the map. “Yeah and there’s no way she could’ve gotten there that fast,” Montehugh sighed, “I mean unless she used magic.”

Kandomere shrugged, “It’s possible.” This was getting nowhere.

Frustrated he took to pacing the room. The human agents ducked their heads attempting to busy themselves with their work, with Montehugh being the only exception, as their boss stalked around the room. He knew it was because they did not wish to incur his wrath.

Running his fingers through his hair he sighed, perhaps he had been wrong about this human’s connection to the storm.

He was seldom wrong. But there simply wasn’t enough information to formulate a solid theory. The trail was growing cold, he could feel it, and he hated it when a trail went cold. Very few people have ever managed to elude him.

Still, he needed something; anything that would help him find her, even just a name would be enough.

A phone rings interrupting his thoughts.

Montehugh sighs and picks up the phone,  “Hello?”

Kandomere looks over to where his partner is seated.

“I have information on the Bright you’re looking for,” he hears a woman’s voice say on the other end. Kandomere gestures for Montehugh to hand him the phone. Without saying another word to the woman, he stands and crosses the room, Kandomere meets him halfway and Montehugh passes the phone to the elf.

“Hello?” he says.

A pause. Then a soft, “Hey.”

“You said you have information on a Bright?” Kandomere continues.

“Yeah I do, you’re talking to her,” she says coyly.

His eyes widen and he quickly snaps at the other agents in the room signaling for them to start tracing the call. They hurriedly move to follow his order. Kandomere resumes his pacing; he has to keep her talking.

“Is that so? What’s your name?” he asks.

“What’s yours?” she counters.

Now staring out the rain battered window, he doesn’t miss her flirtatious tone.

“Kandomere. My name is Kandomere,” he offers unable to resist being a little flirtatious himself.

“Kandomere,” she tastes it. “That’s a nice name,” she whispers.

The corner of his mouth pulls up in a smile, and he pivots to walk back and forth in front of the window.

“Now what’s your name?” he asks. She tells him. The elf points across the room and Montehugh listening in on the conversation is already jotting it down.

“Now, you wouldn’t mind telling me where you are?” he questions.

“Where’s the fun in that?” she responds.

He sighs, so now she’s going to be difficult. “I would love to know where you are?” he asks, pouring it on extra thick this time trying to get her to take the bait.

“Kandomere dear, you and I both know you’re tracing this call,” she says softly.

He straightens. “I need to know where you are, darling.”

“I’m sure you do,” she replies.

He’s done playing this game.

”Listen-“ he begins angrily, before a pained sound from the other end stops him. He listens intently to the sound of ragged breathing, “Hello? Are you still there?” he asks the anger in his voice now gone.

A shaky intake of breath, “Kandomere…could…could you do me a favor?” she asks, voice wavering. “And get here before I bleed out.”

Jaw clenched he looks to Montehugh, who gives a thumbs up. They got the location. Turning his attention back to her, “Hang on alright, I’ll get a medical team to you shortly,” he says softly. “We know where you are now.”

“H-Hurry,” she says and then the line goes dead.

Moving quickly, him and Montehugh waste no time gathering the necessary teams along with the medical team he promised and head to the source of the call. Upon arriving where the call originated, he orders the teams to spread out and search for her in the parking garage she’s holed up in. Eventually they do find her, propped up against a wall in one of the stairwells. He doesn’t actually see her until the medical team has placed her on a stretcher.

And he smells her before he sees her.

The scent of blood is overwhelming. Watching them approach, her face is pale and if the bloodstains on her clothing are any indication, she has a nasty gash on her right side. She’s still breathing but it’s labored and slow. As she’s carried past him, her eyelids flutter open and her eyes meet his.

And then the medics load her into the ambulance and shut the door. Turning on his heel, he walks back to the car with Montehugh in tow.

He’d wanted to find her, but not like this.

Opening the car door, he shakes his head. He can’t lose another one.

                                                    *******

“Alright Doc whattya got for us?” Montehugh asks upon entering the room. Dr. Kim looks up from her paperwork, “Ah Special Agent Kandomere, Agent Montehugh,” she greets them both with a nod. Kandomere nods back. The human woman is in her mid fifties and dressed in her post-op attire. Her black hair is streaked with silver and tied back in a short ponytail. She stands and hands the elf the paperwork. Flipping through it he gives it a cursory glance: broken ribs, mild burns on the knees and legs, bruising and abrasions on her left arm, and a large laceration on her right side likely from a…he raises his brows.

“A large unidentified creature?” Kandomere questions.

“Mmhm,” she nods.

“How big we talkin’ Doc?” Montehugh asks. “Like a manticore?”

“A gryphon?” Kandomere suggests.

She shakes her head, “Bigger.”

“What’s bigger than a gryphon?” Montehugh demanded, looking to Kandomere.

“Are you certain?” the elf inquired.

“Honestly it’s hard to say, whatever struck her came at her from a downward angle. So it was either flying or standing at a much taller height than her,” she explains.

“What makes you think it’s not a gryphon then?” Montehugh questioned.

“Gryphons usually prefer to pick up their prey and drop it from a great height. Not only are her legs not broken there’s no wounds on her shoulders or back indicative of a gryphon attempting to lift her off the ground,” Dr. Kim continues. “No, this is only a partial claw mark.”

“If it’s only a partial claw mark, then how did she survive?” Kandomere muses.

“That’s a question you need to ask her,” she replies.

“There is something else I wanted to bring to your attention,” she says pointing to the paperwork in his hands. “There’s bruises and scratch marks on her left arm,” she states.

“From the creature?” Kandomere proposed.

“No, a person,” she responds.

“Defensive wounds,” Montehugh guessed.

“Someone a lot stronger than her tried to drag her by her arm,” Dr. Kim responds. “And based on the bruising, the broken ribs, the burns, and the laceration all of these injuries happened concurrently the night before you brought her in,” she finishes.

“Fuck! What happened to her from a week and half ago at the convenience store to when we found her?” Montehugh implored, turning to the elf.

“Well, hopefully she’ll be able to tell us,” Kandomere says. “When she wakes up.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” he says. She nods.

The elf turns to leave and then stops. He flips through the paperwork again; there was the mention of burns on her legs if she had fallen during the struggle…

“Dr. Kim?” he asks.

“Yes,” she replies.

“Would a dragon be large enough?” he questions.

She thinks for a moment, “Why yes it would,” she responds.

“Thank you, that will be all,” he says and he turns and walks out of the room. Montehugh joins him and as they walk down the hallway, “You don’t think he could’ve done it? Do you?” he asks. Kandomere considers that for a moment, “It’s unlikely, I see no reason he would suddenly go rogue.”

The dragon in question is of course, The L.A. Dragon, affectionately dubbed that name and an assortment of other nicknames by the people of Los Angeles. He had been living in this region long before the city was ever built and was well over five hundred years old. There were even more than a few occasions where he had defended the city itself. Whether it was fighting sea monsters that had wandered in from the coast or chasing off smaller magical creatures attempting to nest in the city such as wyverns or chimeras. He had no interest in involving himself in the personal affairs of the people who lived in the city, of course. But L.A. was part of his territory and he would defend his territory.

“What about his mate?” Montehugh challenged.

His mate.

She had only lived here for the past fifty years or so after coming down from the north, but at this time of year… “No, she’s shown signs of nesting,” he states, shaking his head. “She wouldn’t leave the eggs.”

“Well, what if our Bright was somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be…” Montehugh offered. Kandomere knits his brows together, thinking of the possibility. The dragons would definitely attack her if she had entered their lair. “Perhaps…” he mused. But then again no one would have ever heard from her again. It’s not the sort of situation most people would survive Bright or not. “Perhaps not.”

The armed guards lining the wall outside the room where their Bright is being kept straighten at the sight of Kandomere’s and Montehugh’s approach. Without breaking stride, the elf gives them a cursory glance before entering the room. Despite the fact that there are multiple beds lining the wall next to the windows they’re all empty, save for one. Kandomere slows down as he approaches her. He can hear the beeping from the heart rate monitor and the sound of her quiet breathing. Kandomere is more than aware of how dangerous magic is and of how dangerous those are who wield it. He stops at the foot of the bed. But like this?

Like this she looks weak and helpless. And in a way she is.

She had called the MTF. Had asked him for help.

And he was doing everything in his power to make sure she would recover but…was it enough?

Montehugh sighed and shook his head. And then there was silence again.

Wait, silence?

The elf walks over to the darkened window to peer outside. Night had fallen but that wasn’t a problem for his keen eyesight. The sky was still cloudy but there was not a single drop of rain. Turning to look at his partner, “It’s stopped raining,” he notes.

Montehugh looks up to the window and then down at the woman in the bed.

“Shit! It’s ‘cause she’s out,” he exclaims.

“Yes,” Kandomere agrees nodding.

“Heh, you were right,” Montehugh says.

The elf moves to walk past her bed again but stops. Looking down at her, his eyes move to her hand. He places his left hand over her right one. Her skin feels cold and he’s not certain if that’s because it’s exposed or if it’s an indication of her condition. He remembers the first human Bright he had encountered, twenty years ago. He couldn’t save him when the Inferni…when Leilah…

He closes his eyes.

He had failed to do his job then, but he would not fail now. He opens his eyes and looks toward her face. Besides, he had met another human Bright recently and if he could survive all that he went through in a single night then surely she could.

If there was one trait about humans he could admire it was their tenacity.

They persevere. They keep fighting. No matter how hard it gets, or how strong their opponent is.

“Hey, boss?” Montehugh says.

“Hm?” Kandomere looks at him.

His partner is giving him a weird look and when the man’s eyes dart from him to her hand, he understands why.

Absentmindly, he had started stroking her hand with his thumb. He lets go and then tucks her hand under the blanket, mindful of the restraints, and walks back over to his partner.

“We should let her rest,” Kandomere remarks.

“Yeah,” Montehugh says side eyeing the elf.

And then Kandomere walks out of the room with Montehugh following slowly behind.

                                                       *******

Hearing a commotion down the hall, he realizes it’s coming from the medical bay. Quickly he makes his way towards where they’re keeping their newfound Bright. Upon entering he sees that there’s half a dozen armed guards sprawled out on the floor attempting to stand. And one of the medics is doing chest compressions on the Bright while two others scramble to move equipment from one of the other beds. The medics then roll a new defibrillator over to her and one of them removes the hospital gown. Using gel and placing the pads, “Clear,” one of them says and places the defibrillator paddles on the pads. Kandomere stares in horror as the first attempt doesn’t work nor the second attempt. But with the third the heart rate becomes steady.

Kandomere takes a breath and regains his composure. Turning his attention to the armed guards who’ve managed to stand at this point, “WHAT? HAPPENED?” he demands.

“Sir, she woke up,” one of the men says stepping forward. “And then she cast a spell.”

Montehugh having finally caught up enters the room and with a huff, “What happened?”

The elf folds his hands behind his back, “That’s exactly what I was about to find out.”

He notices out of the corner of his eye the medic who did the chest compressions approach him. Turning to face him he dips his head down and stares at him.

“Sir, the anesthesia wore off sooner than we expected. She shouldn’t have woke up for at least several more hours,” he explains.

The elf raises his head slightly indicating for the man to continue. “And sir, she was…she was fairly lucid. She was able to ask where she was and what she was doing here,” he said.

Kandomere’s eyes dart from the medic to the woman and then back. “Did she say anything else?” he asks.

The medic seems to think for a moment, “Yes, she overheard part of a conversation where you were mentioned by name. And in response she said and I quote, ‘Kandomere, that’s a nice name.’ ”

Kandomere and Montehugh exchange glances.

The medic shakes his head, “She was calm the entire time and then she tried to pick up her arm and saw the restraints. She had a panic attack, started hyperventilating, I almost had her calmed down and then they showed up,” he says pointing at the armed agents. “The moment she spotted them her eyes started glowing, so of course they start yelling and pointing their guns at her. Then she spoke something I didn’t understand and they all flew off the floor,” he says gesturing upwards.

“Could you repeat what word she said?” Kandomere asks.

The medic repeats it, he mispronounces it clearly, but that’s because it’s ancient Övüsi. The word meant, “to float.” A levitation spell.

“And then?” the elf asks. “What happened to send her into cardiac arrest?”

The man exhales, “A surge of energy from her fried all the equipment in her vicinity. And then she fell unconscious and went into cardiac arrest. That’s why we had to get equipment from the other side of the room.” The other medics nod in response.

Kandomere looks out the window, “Are you sure it wasn’t the storm somehow?” he asks.

“The what?” the medic asks following the elf’s gaze. Shaking his head in disbelief, “I- No, the energy came from her. I saw it.”

The elf then turns to the armed agents, “Are any of you injured?”

The agent who spoke earlier looks around to the others and after a few shakes of his fellows’ heads he replies, “No.”

“Then you are to return to your posts,” he says sternly, glaring at them.

“Yes, sir,” the agent replied. And with that the men filed out of the room.

With their patient in a stable condition the medics set to work moving aside the broken medical equipment and putting replacements from the other beds in their stead.

As Kandomere focuses his attention back to the woman he slowly approaches her side. Smelling burnt leather, his attention turns to the restraint hanging from the bed. Picking it up he examines what remains of it and he sees that a portion of it has been burnt through. Letting it hang limply, he then grasps her hand in his and lifts it up. Thumbing over her wrist he notes that her skin is unbroken. Gently placing her hand back down, his eyes trail over her unconscious form. The medics had recovered her with the blanket from the bed after the danger had passed. And closing his eyes he now simply listens to the sound of her gentle breathing and the rain falling against the window. The rain.

Opening his eyes, the elf fixes his gaze out the window. The sky was dark once more and rain fell heavily onto the ground below. The weather had been fluctuating these past couple of days. And it had been fluctuating with her health. Reaching down he brushes some of the hair out of her face; he blinks a few times and then he turns away.

“Notify me immediately when she awakens,” he says to the medical staff.

“Yes, sir,” they respond.

Nodding Kandomere walks past Montehugh, who’s been silently watching him this whole time. Moving to follow him, Montehugh waits until they’re out of the room and striding back down the hallway before speaking.

“You know, boss, I’ve noticed you act kinda strange around human Brights, even for you. Is there uh... a reason for that?” Montehugh asks.

The elf glances sidelong at his companion. “They’re rarer than elven Brights. And I only seem to meet them when they’re in mortal peril.” He can tell even from his periphery vision that his partner is less than satisfied with his answer, but Kandomere doesn’t care to elaborate any further at the moment. And ultimately Montehugh decides not to press him for more information. And the two of them continue down the hallway in silence.

[flightandsurvival]

Do you ever find yourself worrying about things that probably won’t happen? Why yes, hello, I have an anxiety disorder and this is my literal life. 

Has your imagination ever made it hard for you to sleep? Yes, but I would again attribute that “imagination” to anxiety. Have you ever had a weird dream and obsessed over what it might mean? I don’t typical obsess over meaning, I don’t think that there is any... but I do have really vivid dreams I am constantly giving all the weird details to my friends.  Or do you usually forget about your dreams? I forget sometimes. 

Do you know your heritage?  I am 50% Chinese, my grandfather and grandmother immigrated from China in their early 20s. My mom’s side if a lot more ambiguous. 

If not, would you ever try one of those DNA kits? I would, I think it would be interesting to see exactly what DNA be running through my veins. Which languages can you speak? English. That’s it. I’m uncultured.  Which language do you speak the most and why? English because that’s what I know. Which languages do you wish you were fluent in? Either Mandarin or Spanish. With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or subtitles? Subtitles but I’ll do a dub too.  Which cuisine do you like the least? German. Too much meat.  Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? Why yes, of course.  Which type of chocolate do you like best? I don’t love chocolate... I’ll eat it if it’s infused with THC though.  Do you have a favorite kind of dog? All of them.  Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? Absolutely.  Do any of your favorite musicians ever write music for/with other artists? Yes.  What is your favorite collaboration between two different musicians? Hmm. Not sure.  Who are your favorite songwriters? I’m not sure.  Do you like any of those oldies groups (like the Four Seasons)? Sure.  Do you know who Bernie Taupin is? I don’t know who that is.  What are your favorite one-hit wonders? Take On Me–A-ha

What celebrities, if any, have you seen naked? I’m not sure... probably plenty since there is tons of nudity on TV and in movies.  Have you ever seen anybody naked by accident? Yes. Have you ever wondered what somebody looks like naked? Of course.  Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? Yes.  Have you ever changed your clothes in the car? Yes. About how quickly does your hair grow? Relatively quick.  Do you have to/choose to shave anything unusual? I choose to shave my arms.  Do you groom (wax, pluck, or thread) your eyebrows? I pluck them when warranted.  Most unusual thing you have worn in public? I don’t know.  If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? Tarte, Colourpop, Urban Decay, IT Cosmetics. Do you use flavored lip balm? No.  What about tinted lip balm? Rarely. What is your favorite swear word? Fuck.  Are you afraid of fireworks or other loud noises? No. Do you make your own iced tea, or buy it in jugs/bottles? I don’t typically drink ice tea.  Have you ever made sun tea? Never even heard of it.  Do you use sugar or honey to sweeten your tea? Occasionally honey.  Do you ever put milk in your tea? Only milk-tea/boba. Do you prefer powdered or liquid coffee creamer? Neither, I drink my coffee black.  Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? Health care center.  Did you have to wear a uniform for gym class? No.  Did you have to take showers after gym before going to your next class? Nope.  Were you in any extracurricular activities or clubs in high school? German club, volleyball, tennis, chorus.  Have you ever picked up and kept a rock because it caught your eye? Yes.  Have you attended any rock (literal rocks, not music, lol) shows? No.... ? Have you ever laughed at a scene (TV/film) that wasn’t meant to be funny? Most likely.  Do you think they should make a movie about Hatshepsut? Not sure what that is.  Do you think books are better adapted as movies or TV series? It depends.  Any great books you would recommend? The Center Cannot Hold by Elyn Saks.  Any great movies or TV series you would recommend? Wentworth, Jane the Virgin, The Good Place.  Were you disappointed with Fox’s version of the Rocky Horror Show? I didn’t watch it. Have you ever seen the original Kinky Boots movie? No.  What about the musical? Nope. Have you seen any Hannibal movies other than The Silence of the Lambs? Nope. Have you read any of the Hannibal novels? No. Do you like any Indie movies? Usually. Have there been any movies you had fond memories of, but upon a rewatch didn’t like as well? Most likely.  Do you like to go to the movies alone? No. When you watch movies/TV with people, do you find yourself making sarcastic remarks to each other? Depends who I’m with and where we are watching. Movie Theater? No. In my living room? Yes.  Have you ever dried down any flowers to keep them? Yes.  What is your favorite thing that you have made by yourself? Not sure. I’m not super crafty.  Do you like your natural accent (everybody has one)? Sure.  What accents do you find most pleasant? Southern drawls, Aussie, Spanish.  Does it bother you when an actor in a musician biopic lip-syncs to a recording of the original artist, or is it better that way? I don’t care. Have you ever read about Dennis Nilsen? No. Do you ever go on murderpedia.org to read about murderers? Yes. Have you ever read about the Black Dahlia? Yes.  Any other unsolved crimes you find fascinating? SO many. I love true crime, I love dissecting the fucked up details of murder.  Do you care what color your socks are? No. What about your underwear? No. What part of a man’s body do you find most attractive? Smile, eyes, mouth, arms.  Do you think guys look good in makeup? I used to die over guyliner. Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? I prefer sheet masks. Have you ever had an asymmetrical haircut? Yes.  Have you ever made your own pillow or blanket? Yes.  Have you ever made a pillow out of an old T-shirt? No. Have you ever tried lucid dreaming? (Where you can control your dreams) No, in my more vivid dreams I actually have some significant control over my dreams. Would you ever want to try? Eh. It happens sometimes without trying.  If you want to be cremated, do you want your ashes scattered anywhere? It will be somewhere woods-y.  Would you ever have a deceased pet stuffed? No fucking way.  Would you ever have a pet cremated? I would. What is your favorite sci-fi series, if any? Dark Matter,  Do you believe in the existence of parallel universes? I would consider it.  If you could run your own business, what kind of business would it be? A private practice for child therapy specifying in trauma. 

[lovemesomesurveys]

 Do you ever find yourself worrying about things that probably won’t happen? I’m great at that. I mean, a lot of my worries are things that are certainly possible and have good reason to, but there’s things I worry about that might not happen or before I have a reason to worry. I just always assume the worst. Has your imagination ever made it hard for you to sleep? My mind is always going. Have you ever had a weird dream and obsessed over what it might mean? Yes. My dreams are usually quite weird and random and I’m just like... wtf? Or do you usually forget about your dreams? A lot of the time. Do you know your heritage? Only a little. 

If not, would you ever try one of those DNA kits? Yeah. I am curious. Which languages can you speak? Just English fluently. Which language do you speak the most and why? English because that’s what I know. Which languages do you wish you were fluent in? Spanish. With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or subtitles? Subtitles.  Which cuisine do you like the least? Chinese. Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? Oh yes. Canadian bacon, chicken with bone-in, jello, and pudding just to name a few. Which type of chocolate do you like best? White chocolate. Do you have a favorite kind of dog? I do especially like Labs and German Shepherds. Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? I would, but she loves her couch. Do any of your favorite musicians ever write music for/with other artists? Some do. What is your favorite collaboration between two different musicians? I have several. One that came to mind is the collab Linkin Park and Jay-Z did. Who are your favorite songwriters? Hmm. Do you like any of those oldies groups (like the Four Seasons)? Yeah, there’s several “oldies” groups I like. Do you know who Bernie Taupin is? I don’t think so. What are your favorite one-hit wonders? I have a lot of those, including but not limited to: Tainted Love--Soft Cell Relax--Frankie Goes Hollywood Maniac--Michael Sembello Too Shy--Kajagoogoo Take On Me--A-ha Don’t You (Forget About Me)--Simple Minds I Can’t Wait--Nu Shooz No Rain--Blind Melon Lovefool--The Cardigans Barely Breathing--Duncan Sheik Criminal--Fiona Apple Torn--Natalie Imbruglia Sex and Candy--Marcy Playground Closing Time--Semisonic Save Tonight--Eagle-Eye Cherry Absolutely (Story of a Girl)--Nine Days Butterfly--Crazy Town All The Things She Said--t.A.T.u. Collide--Howie Day

What celebrities, if any, have you seen naked? Alexander Skarsgard is one of ‘em.  Have you ever seen anybody naked by accident? No. Have you ever wondered what somebody looks like naked? Maaaybe. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? Lol yeah. Have you ever changed your clothes in the car? Yes. About how quickly does your hair grow? Pretty quick. Do you have to/choose to shave anything unusual? No. Do you groom (wax, pluck, or thread) your eyebrows? I pluck them. Most unusual thing you have worn in public? Uhh. I don’t know. If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? Elf, NYX, Wet ‘n Wild, CoverGirl, Maybelline.  Do you use flavored lip balm? Sometimes. What about tinted lip balm? Sometimes. What is your favorite swear word? I don’t have one. Are you afraid of fireworks or other loud noises? I’m a jumpy person, so loud noises definitely contribute to that. Do you make your own iced tea, or buy it in jugs/bottles? I don’t really drink iced tea. I mean, it’s fine and all, but it’s not something I opt for. I don’t recall the last time I even had any. Have you ever made sun tea? My mom used to every summer when I was a kid. Do you use sugar or honey to sweeten your tea? I use Sweet’N Low. Do you ever put milk in your tea? I’ve used cream and sugar before. Oh, but I do like milk tea from this one Bubble tea place. Do you prefer powdered or liquid coffee creamer? Liquid. Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? Yeah. Did you have to wear a uniform for gym class? I didn’t in my PE class. Did you have to take showers after gym before going to your next class? No. Were you in any extracurricular activities or clubs in high school? I was in a couple clubs. Have you ever picked up and kept a rock because it caught your eye? Yeah. My Nana and I did that together all the time when I was a kid, and nowadays where I live it’s a popular thing to do to paint and hide rocks around town for others to find and either keep or re-hide. I’ve found a few of those. Have you attended any rock (literal rocks, not music, lol) shows? ...No. Have you ever laughed at a scene (TV/film) that wasn’t meant to be funny? Probably. Do you think they should make a movie about Hatshepsut? I don’t know what that is? Do you think books are better adapted as movies or TV series? I’ve seen good movies based on books and TV shows. Just depends. I feel like with TV shows; though, you can do a lot more with it and stay close to the book because you have more time to work with than just a 2 or 3 movie or having to break it up in parts. Any great books you would recommend? Too many. Any great movies or TV series you would recommend? There’s a lot. Were you disappointed with Fox’s version of the Rocky Horror Show? I didn’t watch it. Have you ever seen the original Kinky Boots movie?  No. What about the musical? Nope. Have you seen any Hannibal movies other than The Silence of the Lambs? Nope. Have you read any of the Hannibal novels? No. Do you like any Indie movies? Yeah. Have there been any movies you had fond memories of, but upon a rewatch didn’t like as well? Hmm. Possibly, but I can’t think of one at the moment. Do you like to go to the movies alone? No, I like going with my family. When you watch movies/TV with people, do you find yourself making sarcastic remarks to each other? Sometimes here and there, but we try not to talk too much during. Have you ever dried down any flowers to keep them? Well, they became that way on their own over time, ha. I still have my corsage from my senior prom, which is now over 10 years ago. It’s quite dry and crispy now. What is your favorite thing that you have made by yourself? Uhh. I don’t really make things. Do you like your natural accent (everybody has one)? I don’t like my voice. What accents do you find most pleasant? Some southern ones, British ones... Does it bother you when an actor in a musician biopic lip-syncs to a recording of the original artist, or is it better that way? I don’t care. Have you ever read about Dennis Nilsen? No. Do you ever go on murderpedia.org to read about murderers? No. Have you ever read about the Black Dahlia? No, but I’ve seen documentaries.  Any other unsolved crimes you find fascinating? Yeah, that stuff in general is interesting. Do you care what color your socks are? Nah. What about your underwear? Nah.  What part of a man’s body do you find most attractive? Hands, arms, lips, jaw lines, necks, V-lines... Do you think guys look good in makeup? I used to have a thing for guys in eyeliner. Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? I don’t use any masks. Have you ever had an asymmetrical haircut? Yeah. Have you ever made your own pillow or blanket? No. Have you ever made a pillow out of an old T-shirt? No. Have you ever tried lucid dreaming? (Where you can control your dreams) No. Would you ever want to try? *shrug* If you want to be cremated, do you want your ashes scattered anywhere? In the ocean. Would you ever have a deceased pet stuffed? No. Would you ever have a pet cremated? Yes. We did that with our dog, Scruffy. Brandie is buried in our backyard in a nice area under a tree. I wish we would have cremated her because one day we’ll move. :( What is your favorite sci-fi series, if any? TV Show: Twilight Zone. Movie: Star Wars. Do you believe in the existence of parallel universes? No. If you could run your own business, what kind of business would it be? I wouldn’t.

[firebirdtransam68]

Are The Names In Anime Originally Japanese Or English?  It All Depends On What You Grew Up With

I am making this post to explain what I have observed from the English-speaking community.

We know many people really like anime, right?  We grew up with shows like Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Sonic X, Digimon Adventures, the Transformers Unicron Trilogy, and for much older fans, Voltron, Robotech, Star Blazers, and Battle Of The Planets.  The only thing is, these shows, originally in the Japanese language, were dubbed in English because many marketers didn’t think people in America, Canada, or any other English-speaking country would enjoy a foreign show, even if it had English subtitles.  The only problem is, many anime shows targeted to younger fans (mainly children) were heavily censored and the dialogue was changed to make it more family-friendly.  The upside is, if companies like World Events Productions and 4Kids Entertainment did not dub the shows, we wouldn’t be able to access the original shows with English subtitles, and we can fully understand how Japanese media differ from American, Canadian, or English media.

Anyway, I remember when I was younger watching bits and pieces of Robotech (a mesh of the Super Dimension Fortress Macross trilogy) with my father, who had it on VHS.  Then I remember watching a few episodes and movies of Pokemon a little later after I witnessed Robotech.  I also remember going to a now-defunct video store where Sonic X was playing (before I even knew the Sonic The Hedgehog franchise).  They all shared one thing in common; they were all in the English language.  And as I have seen the shows, I noticed at times the mouths do not match the dialogue; and I never understood why the animation was different from media like Disney, Don Bluth, or the Loony Tunes.

I did not know what anime really is until I was in middle school and high school.  I didn’t even understand the ‘fetish’ of such design.  That is, until I witnessed a few girls watching the original Sailor Moon anime in English subtitles.  As I viewed a few scenes, I noticed the characters’ mouths matched the language being spoken; and the tone was more serious and less silly like most Western cartoon shows.  Not to mention, most characters look more realistic, such as having five fingers instead of four.

And then I got curious with original Japanese anime shows (back in the olden days, anime was called Japanimation, and later was respectfully called anime), and I came across a mecha show called Beast King Golion (the original show for Voltron: Defender Of The Universe).  I watched a few episodes with English subtitles, and I noticed how dark it was compared to American children’s shows (they show blood, death, real-life situations that adults can understand, and they swear too, usually saying words like “hell,” “damn,” “crap,” “bastard,” “bitch,” and the occasional “s**t”).  Then I saw Voltron, and I noticed how much the dub changed the whole plot of the anime; violence was toned down, hardly any blood on screen, no swear words, somewhat poor voice acting with a few exceptions, and even the characters’ names were different.  The only good qualities I see in Voltron was, of course, the name of the titular mech, and the kickass soundtrack of the 1980′s.

Later, as I look up different anime clips with English subtitles, I wondered if the characters speak English in the original version; and sure enough, there were clips that showed just that (it was awesome, funny, and bizarre; or even both or all three at the same time).  What took me by surprise is that there was a Sonic X clip where Sonic occasionally throws in English in the original language.  I didn’t even KNOW there was a Sonic The Hedgehog anime, and that threw me off in a good way.  I started watching a few episodes with English subtitles, and then compared them to the English dubbed episodes; the original is the winner!  And that was how I became a Sonic The Hedgehog fan, along with the Shadow The Hedgehog (2005) and the Sonic ‘06 games.

And then, interestingly, I discovered Pocket Monsters (the original Pokemon series) when I was browsing for more anime.  I noticed how the main character, Ash Ketchum, had a different name, Satoshi, but they were the same character; they just happened to have different names in different languages.  I was used to the name Ash, but I gradually started to like the name Satoshi even more, because it is the original show in its original language.

I have been a fan of Transformers ever since I watched the live action films by Michael Bay.  It isn’t until The Transformers (1984-1987) and The Transformers: The Movie (1986) in which I started to like the Generation One (G1) Transformers because they originated in the 1980′s (which I really like, even though I wasn’t existent yet back in the day).  I have many characters I like; my favorite Autobot is Ironhide, who was a black truck in the 2007 live action film, and a red van in the G1 version.  Both of these incarnations share similar traits; Ironhide is just an awesome robot, he is trigger-happy (especially in the live action film), has a deep and gruff voice, is funny at times, is stubborn on a few things, and simply makes me smile; and in the live-action film’s case, my father owns a truck, and one of my favorite colors is black (just like KITT from the 1982 show, Knight Rider).  I was disheartened by his death by the traitorous Sentinel Prime in Dark Of The Moon (2011), and at the hands of Megatron in the 1986 movie.  And my favorite Decepticon is Starscream; who doesn’t love a backstabbing fighter jet anyways?

Now, I am sure you are probably asking, “what does this have to do with anime?”  Well, I had the realization many months ago that Transformers Armada, Energon, and Cybertron (which all make up the Unicron Trilogy) were all anime series; so I looked each of them up in AnimeNewsNetwork, starting with Armada.  (I wanted to check out the shows because I heard from many fans how this incarnation of Starscream subverts the traitorous role, and how he was the most likeable Decepticon in the whole series)  The site shows the Japanese cast first, since it is the original language, and I was happy to see that Ironhide was there, as well.  But, when I looked at the English cast, I couldn’t see the name anywhere.  Interestingly, the Japanese credits called Optimus Prime Convoy, so maybe in Armada, this particular Autobot was not called Ironhide.  And sure enough, when I started watching the show in English subtitles (the original is called Micron Legend), I was mostly right.  What took me by surprise is that this Ironhide was not an old Autobot like many traditional Ironhides from the G1 and the Bayformers films, but a young Decepticon missile tank.  Starscream is not the only Transformer to subvert the original roles of past incarnations.  Apparently, this is the only Transformers continuation where Ironhide is a Decepticon.  However, he shared many traits with his G1 counterpart as well; he is tough like how he should be, is funny (and surprisingly cute, not very many Ironhides is that lovable like this one), is stubborn some of the times, has a deep gruff voice, is trigger-happy (especially if you piss him off or cross Megatron in front of him), and instantly became a likable Transformer because of those traits; and he had probably the saddest death in the whole Unicron trilogy when I started watching Energon (originally called Superlink).  I was disappointed when Megatron (now called Galvatron) put his abandoned spark into a new, and unattractive, body, and called him Irontread (didn’t stop me from watching the whole anime series because as I watched it futher, it shared many similarities with The Transformers: The Movie, particularly Unicron’s design, and the green helicopter we know as Springer (Japan calls him Sprung; not sure why...); the only thing missing in Superlink is “The Touch”).  Next to Starscream, Ironhide is my favorite Transformer in the whole Unicron Trilogy.  And what was his English dubbed name in Armada?  Demolishor.

Ever since I watched these shows, I started to like them so much, maybe even more so than G1; probably because the Transformers had many human traits (for instance, they grunt and groan in pain more times than G1; oh and some of them actually cry, mainly younger Transformers like Ironhide in Micron Legend and Wing Dagger in Superlink), and was the first time I see them with teeth and different colored optics, instead of the traditional blue and red for the Autobots and Decepticons, respectively.

I notice many Trans-fans know many characters in the Unicron Trilogy by their English names because that was what they grew up with, or were used to seeing.  And whenever someone points out the original names, they would interject, saying something like “its X, not Y!”  (For example, “it’s Jetfire, not Skyfire!”)  However, there are people like me who will point out what the original names are without trying to denigrate mainstream fans.  Then again, I, too, get a little frustrated whenever a fan doesn’t call a character by their original name.  But, if all else fails, I just let them call a character whatever they want to call them, because I cannot change their minds if they are absolutely certain of what the character’s name is, even if it is not their original name.

Then again, even the Japanese dub of the original Transformers shows and movies changed the names of certain characters because they believed it was cooler, easier to pronounce, or they didn’t like the name for some reason.  For example, Optimus Prime was called Convoy, Sideswipe was called Lambor, Bumblebee was called Bumble, Devastator was called Devastor, Shockwave was called Lazerwave, Lazerbeak was called Condor, and Springer was called Sprung.  (And Autobots and Decepticons were called Cybertrons and Destrons, respectively, and the planet Cybertron was called Seibertron.)  In Micron Legend and Superlink, such names were the characters’ original names in the show.

Here are some characters in Micron Legend with their original and dubbed names (the rest not listed kept their names):

- Convoy = Optimus Prime

- Ratchet = Red Alert

- Hot Rod = Hot Shot

- Devastator = Scavenger

- Grap (possibly Grapple?) = Smokescreen/Hoist

- Ironhide = Demolishor

- Sandstorm = Cyclonus

- Silverbolt = Blurr (who is nothing like G1 Blurr at all)

- Doubleface = Sideways

- Wheelie = High Wire

- Bank = Grindor

- Arcee = Sureshock

- Bumble(bee) = Perceptor

- Shockwave = Tidal Wave

- Rampage = Wheeljack

- Stepper = Sideswipe

- Scourge = Nemesis Prime (Scourge’s name was not mentioned in Micron Legend, but that is what was confirmed in AnimeNewsNetwork and other anime sites)

- Megatron (Super Mode) = Galvatron

- Grid = Swindle

- Search = Blackout

- Barrel = Leader-1

- Prime = Sparkplug

- Alexa = Alexis

- Jim = Fred

- Amphitrite = not even given a name!

Here are the characters in Superlink, along with a few characters from Micron Legend (Armada):

- Grand Convoy = Optimus Prime

- Skyfire = Jetfire (I don’t know what happened to Jetfire and Hot Rod from Micron Legend; maybe they were reformatted without further explanation, replaced with newer characters, or the creators fixed Jetfire’s name to Skyfire and Hot Rod was so damaged that he had to be reformatted and was called Hot Shot, or according to some sites, matured into Hot Shot)

- Inferno V = Roadblock

- Roadbuster = Ironhide (who looked and acted nothing like the Ironhide I am so familiar with; is very unlikeable, compared to Roadbuster, who IS more likeable; and it is quite amusing to see two Ironhides fighting each other in Episode 10, with the one speaking English and the one speaking Japanese; there must be a crack fic about this somewhere...)

- Rodimus Convoy = Rodimus Prime (he was called Rodimus Convoy in the Japanese dub of G1)

- Red Alert = Prowl

- Airglide = Skyblast

- Blastarm = Strongarm

- Ariel = Arcee

- Springer = Bulkhead

- Overdrive = Cliffjumper

- Wheeljack = Downshift

- Galvatron (before recoloration) = Megatron (in Superlink, he explicitly said, “call me Galvatron-sama,” and he looked like his G1 counterpart as well)

- Nightscream = Starscream (since Starscream was killed by Unicron in Micron Legend after he used up all his energy from his spark, which is presumed destroyed.  Yeah, sadly, Starscream never came back in Superlink; although Nightscream looks a lot like G1 Starscream even more than Armada Starscream)

- Mega-Zarak = Scorponok (G1 Scorponok’s Japanese dub name was Mega-Zarak; not sure why the creators called him that, though...)

- Sandstorm/Snowstorm = Cyclonus/Snow Cat

- Ironhide/Irontread = Demolishor/still Demolishor (what, no cooler name like Devastator, Basher, Groundcrusher or Destructor for his new body?)

- Shockwave/Shockfleet = Tidal Wave/Mirage

- Lazerwave = the real Shockwave (in Energon, he is called Shockblast, which I think is silly, so I will call him Lazerwave for Superlink’s sake)

- Buildron = Constructicon Maximus (note that Buildron is the Japanese dub name for Constructicon in G1)

- Bruticus = Bruticus Maximus

- Superion = Superion Maximus

- Superion’s brother = Dauntless Maximus (I will call him Dauntless)

- Alexa = Alexis

I have not seen Galaxy Force as often as Micron Legend and Superlink, but I will list a few characters that I can remember with the sub and dub names respectively:

- Galaxy Convoy = Optimus Prime

- Dreadrock = Jetfire

- Guardshell = Landmine

- Demolishor = Mudflap

- Sonic Bomber = Wing Saber

- First Aid = Red Alert

- Nitro Convoy (male) = Override (female)

- Exillion = Hot Shot

- Chromia = Thunderblast (yes, Chromia, usually an Autobot’s name, is a Decepticon in Galaxy Force)

- Noisemaze = Sideways

- Metroplex = Megalo Convoy (I don’t really know his name; that is what I got from some sources when I was trying to find out what this Transformer’s name was)

Anyways, since I saw the original versions, it can be really difficult for me to refer them to the English dubbed names so many fans can understand what I am saying.  I am sure others feel the same way as well.

Well, that is all I will be saying so far.  I will post more blogs, pictures, and memes when I have the time.

This is FirebirdTransAm68 signing out.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #191

“i got a baseball bat beside my bed to fight off what’s inside my head.”

Museum date or aquarium date? I suppose aquarium. Have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? No. Do you play any video games? Yes. Did you ever have an emo or scene phase? Yes. Name a subject you know a lot about. Meerkats. How would you describe your style? Too-Poor-To-Dress-Goth-So-Wears-Band-Merch-And-Graphic-Tees-Instead. What’s something most people love that you hate? Coffee. Who knows the most about you? Sara. Applesauce or pudding? Pudding. If you could create ANY mix-up or mythical animal and have it be brought to life, what would it be? I think I've mentioned a meerkat with butterfly wings before? Or bird wings? Describe a moment that is a prominent memory, but didn’t have a strong impact on your life. Uhhhh there's a lot. One random one would be learning to ride my bike. If there was one problem/issue you could wipe off the face of the earth, what would it be? Ohhhhhhhhhh god, there's so much. Maybe poverty? Do you think everyone in our lives serves a purpose, or are some people just there? In the story of your own life, no, not everyone. How do you feel about getting your picture taken? I hate it. Most embarrassing poster you’ve ever owned? Never owned one I was embarrassed by. When was the last time you were in a public setting and a stranger annoyed you? I'm not sure. Strangest pet peeve? Probably how much I hate people going in/out the wrong door. If you could make a guest appearance in ANY show, which one would you choose? Uhhhh Supernatural, maybe? Who do you think is the most underrated comedian? I don't know enough comedians for this, nevermind less successful ones. Do you always make eye contact with people when you’re speaking to them? No; this is something I'm super awkward about. I don't know how long "normal" eye contact is, so I think it's very easy to notice how, when talking to you, my eyes will suddenly wander. Could you see yourself having a child with the last person you kissed? We physically can't. We both don't want kids, anyway. Who is your favorite person to have random conversations with? SARA. When you were small, did you ever ask where babies came from? If you did, do you remember what your parents told you? I think I did, but I don't remember. What’s the nicest compliment you’ve ever been given? That I was/am "absolutely beautiful" and deserve "everything in the world." Who did you have your first kiss with? How did you meet that person? Jason. We "met" via Facebook because I accepted his friend request because I thought he was a different Jason lmao. Apparently he saw me in the hall and knew he had to talk to me so somehow found out my name. Which. I still want to know how. I've come to find how creepy our origin story is lol. Have you felt butterflies in your stomach today? No. Did anyone/anything get on your nerves today? No. Think of the person you fell the hardest for. What first attracted you? I don't know which I fell hardest for, honestly... because one was to an unhealthy degree, but my bond with Sara is healthy. I know I'm closer with her than I was Jason, but I guess by definition I still "fell hardest" for him? In that case, I thought he was really unique, even odd, which I appreciated. Has anyone recently found out something you didn’t want them to know? I got to where I told my therapist about the RP hobby, per Mom's and Sara's recommendations. I'm trying to work towards not being so secretive and embarrassed by what I love, so I very slowly got it out to her as practice and as a trust exercise. Is there something you currently want, that you can’t have? HA, there's a lot. A drawing tablet, for one. Who was the last person to make you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable? LAAAAAAAAAAAAAWL. Probably the last person I had a social interaction with that wasn't my mother. Think of the last film you watched. Who was your favorite character in it? Buddy (Elf). What color is your couch? Tan. What are you known for? Probably as the unsuccessful, antisocial, lazy 23-year-old that still depends on her mother. Has anyone ever threatened you? Yes. Have you ever been scammed? I don't think so? Are you making sure you’re using your full potential? Boy, I try, but I know I don't. If you have a partner, have you ever had to sleep in separate beds? If you don’t, how would you feel if a future partner wanted separate beds? We're long-distance so like. It'd be a bummer, but that's it; I understand wanting comfort, and even I know sleeping on your own is comfier. I'm just a cuddler and would sacrifice comfiness for the sake of physical closeness. What is something you are skeptical about? People’s intentions. <<<<<< This. Is there a murder case you find absolutely fascinating? I'm sure there's some I've forgotten. What is an unusual item somebody you know owns? Ummmm. OH HA Sara keeps the complete/"good" sheds of the snakes in her room. What’s the oldest TV-show you like? When was it made? I Love Lucy, 1951. If you have a job, do you prefer morning shifts or evening shifts? N/A, but I know I'd prefer morning. Do you have a mug with your name/initials on it? No. Have you ever designed your own mug? No. Is there a game that you excel in? A number. Have you ever been in a row boat? No. What are you most confident about? Most insecure about? Ummm... probably photography, I guess? I'm most insecure about "odd" interests and hobbies. When are you most likely to say something you don’t mean? When I'm angry. When was the last time that you saw fire? I'm not sure. Probably while lighting a match to burn some incense. Do you like wearing sunglasses? Why or why not? No. I don't like my vision being dimmed. What do you think in general of girls with short hair? Rock it. How about guys with long hair? Usually attractive to me. Have you ever seen somebody get shot? No. Would you ever try one of those DNA kits? Totally. With films in languages you do not speak, do you prefer a dub or subtitles? It depends if the voiceovers are convincing or not. Generally, I like those because subtitles distract me. Which cuisine do you like the least? That I've tried, Japanese. Are there any foods you dislike because of the texture? YEAH. LOOOOOTS. Do you let your pets sleep in your bed? Yes, except Bentley. Who are your favorite songwriters? Otep Shamaya probs tops the list. What are your favorite one-hit wonders? YO "My Own Worst Enemy" by Lit is a BOP. Have you ever seen anybody naked by accident? Maybe? Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about a celebrity? ... lol yes. Have you ever changed your clothes in the car? Yeah. About how quickly does your hair grow? UGH, fast. Because I have it short now, it's overgrown in like, two months. It looks awful where it is now, but I should be getting it cut this month. Do you have to/choose to shave anything unusual? Fuck "have to." No one has to shave anything if they don't want to. But anyway, I suppose you can consider above my lip "unusual." Much to my annoyance, I have dark body hair so develop the dreaded "ladystache" if I leave it alone for too long. Do you groom (wax, pluck, or thread) your eyebrows? No. If you wear makeup, what are your preferred brands? N/A Did your school have somewhere for girls to get emergency pads/tampons? Yes, but for a bit of change. Fucking stupid. Did you have to take showers after gym before going to your next class? No. Were you in any extracurricular activities or clubs in high school? I was in the art and honors club, but we didn't do after-school activities. Have you ever picked up and kept a rock because it caught your eye? I think. Have you ever laughed at a scene (TV/film) that wasn’t meant to be funny? Ha, I'm sure. Have you seen any Hannibal movies other than The Silence of the Lambs? I haven't even seen that, but I want to. I know it's a classic and have heard great about it from horror fans. Have you read any of the Hannibal novels? No. Do you like any indie movies? Probably. What part of a man’s body do you find most attractive? I'm suuuuch a sucker for prominent shoulder blades/moderately muscular backs. What part of a woman’s body do you find most attractive? I'm weak for hips. Do you think guys look good in makeup? YO most I see doing it fucking rock that shit. I deeply respect guys who embrace their more feminine traits. Do you like using clay and/or peel-off masks for skincare? No. Do you like bread crust on pizza or do you prefer it cut off? Mmmmm love it. Have you ever driven while drunk/intoxicated? No, absolutely never would. What’s the worst/hardest drug you’ve taken? N/A What is the worst/hardest drug you’ve been offered, but declined to partake in? Nothing. If you’ve ever tried drugs or alcohol, what was your reason for trying it? I was just curious about how it tasted and knew a bit wouldn't hurt me. Do you think you could ever have an abortion if you expectantly turned pregnant? The only way that could currently happen is if I was raped, and I don't know what I'd do. I lean towards carrying it would probably be legit traumatizing to me so yes, but I suppose I'd have to be in that situation (knock the fuck on wood) to truly know. What is the weirdest ailment a pet of yours/your family’s has sustained? Ummm. The weirdest... probably the intestine thing that killed Cato. I can't remember precisely, but I believe it was some type of infection that completely clogged him. Maybe even a disease. If you were far from home and needed to sleep for the night, would you choose to rent a crappy hotel room for $60 or sleep in your car for free? In the car. Is there a situation you caved into peer pressure and regretted it? Maybe? Have you ever been in a relationship that was going great, and then suddenly something weird happened and you just KNEW it was going to be over soon? That happened with Jason. I had this odd feeling something was off for a little while. He was quieter and seemed somewhat depressed, which was totally unlike him. I even asked him quite a bit if something was wrong, but he always reassured me he was fine. Which of the guys you’ve been interested in hurt you the most? lul we knooooow. Do you know anyone who is engaged? Yes. Do you know anybody who is pregnant? Yes. I'm going to one's baby shower next month! What is your relationship status on Facebook? Taken. Would you be able to name everyone you’ve kissed? Yeah. Last person you watched a movie with? Sara, her dad, and I think her mom and one brother was with us? Who has the power to break you? I honestly hope no one anymore, at least not entirely. But Sara comes the closest. Favorite “little kid” movie? TLK. What are you listening to? WoW's Grizzly Hills music. :') Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Sara. Or Mom. It depends on the subject. Do you find smoking unattractive? Very. I think it says something about how much you care for your health. Have you ever just laid down outside and stared at the stars? Yup. Has anyone ever asked you if you were bipolar? I don't believe so. What was the last thing you looked up on Google? Types of rat cancer for that pet ailment question. We don't know with certainty, but that's likely what killed Tezzeret, brain or eye cancer or something like that. Do you lose interest in someone quickly? If you do something stupid, ha, bye. I can lose interest very fast but also slowly. Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? Yes. Does your password have to do with a boy/girl? No. Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Yes. Think back to last year. Who did you like? Sara. How did you meet the last male you called? He's my dad so like- Ever been kissed on the leg? Maybe? What was the last thing you ate? Ham, cheese, and mustard on wheat bread. If you HAD to kiss someone right now, who would it be? Sara. Who was the last person you rode in the car with? Mom. Name some things you love about winter? NOT HOT AS FUCK, snow, frost, gingerbread, chocolate-covered peanuts, I can walk outside without worrying about ticks, my birthday, hot chocolate, looking at Christmas lights/decorations, nice tree designs, Christmas itself... I just love winter. Last person to hear you cry? Probably Mom. How do you feel about your relationship status? I love it. Only thing that could make me happier is if we weren't long-distance. Is it possible to be JUST friends with someone you wanna be with? I dunno. Have you ever been given roses? Yes. Would you ever sky dive? I don't think so. Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your own bed? Sara's bed. If you dated someone that someone else liked, would you rub it in their face? Uh no, I'm an adult. Have you received a text message that made you cry? Yes. What do you think of your country’s education system? If you could change it, what would you do? WOULD YOU LIKE AN ESSAY????????????? I'd change a fucking load of things. If you could move out of your home country permanently, would you? If so, where would you go? No. Is there a celebrity that everyone else seems to love, but you find totally overrated? Why is it that you don’t like them? I'm not in a place to really answer this; I'm not knowledgeable of almost any celebs' lives. Think back to the last time you got really angry. Do you think your anger was justified, or did you act in an over the top way? It was fucking justified. If you could volunteer for any charity, which one would you choose? Do you think it’s more important to help humans, or are animal and environmental charities equally important? Probably one for the environment as far as volunteer work. We're absolutely annihilating our one and only home, and if we don't collectively get our shit together as a species, we're gone. I think both are equally important. Do you have any allergies? If not, what do you think the worst thing to be allergic to would be? Pollen. I think the worst of the ones I know would be any deathly-allergic food, especially those that there are traces of in many foods. What do you think of the term plus-sized in modeling? It is it empowering or demeaning? It's demeaning in its name. Just use "modeling" as the term. "Plus size" just makes it sound as if you're not a "perfect" model. Do you prefer holidays where you relax, or actually do things? Mmm, depends on my mood, honestly. Do you think you are ready to be on your own (have your own home, job, etc.)? No. Do you think that after we die our spirit is still alive? Totally. Do you sleep in a bra? I feel very sorry for anyone who does. Has your ex ever gone out with someone close to you? No. Can you suggest someone funny on YouTube? Personally find Game Grumps or Shane Dawson the funniest people on there. Sprite or Mtn. Dew? I hate Sprite, so. Has anyone close to you ever been suicidal? Yes. What is the 10th picture in your phone/camera of? A picture of Roman as a kitten. :') Are you friends with someone who’s autistic? My niece is, if she counts. Has anyone ever walked in on you having sex? No. Have you ever had a Bic Mac? No. I don't like lettuce on burgers. What’s your favorite part about the holidays? Seeing how excited my niece and nephew are. How old is your television? Idk exact years, but we had it before the divorce, so it's been a while. Would you ever dye your hair an unnatural color? BITCH I always want my hair an unnatural color. Have you ever been to the zoo before? Yes. If you’re reading a book, what page are you currently on? N/A How many online accounts do you have? Or have you lost count? I've definitely lost count. Have you ever been to a convention? (comic, YouTube, etc.) A reptile one. Have you ever done a first aid course? No. Has anyone ever compared you to someone you don’t like? No, I don't think so. Do elevators freak you out? Yes. How do you find new music to listen to when you want it? YouTube recommendations or Spotify. What is the biggest difference between you and your best friend? OUR FEELINGS TOWARDS MEDICATION. YOU NEED IT SOMETIMES BABE. What is something most people are turned on by but you’re not? Penises in general. I'm still bi, but seeing a dick is just. Ugh they're just hideous to me okay. Is there anything you wish you had done with a current/previous significant other? No. Well, I'm curious how actually deep sex would feel, so I guess I kinda wish Jason and I went that far, especially now that I'll probably never have actual intercourse again, but. Oh well. What are the top three qualities that draw you to a new person? Charismatic, caring, and respectful. What job would you be terrible at and what job would you be good at? Anything dealing with customers; exposing animals to healthy human contact. Do you think that forgiveness is mandatory to move on from something? I think so, to fully move on. Name three things you would buy if you had the money to buy them? A PS4, drawing tablet, totally new and better camera. If you could have a video of one event in your life, what would the video be? Sara's reaction to seeing me in her room on her birthday. Her face was the most priceless thing ever. What did you think was cool when you were younger? Light-up shoes lmao. Who do you wish you could back into contact with and why did you stop in the first place? Megan. She lied about just about everything in her life for pity. When I finally called her out, she was so upset with herself that she like, fell off the face of the earth. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? No, but rather Dad trying to stab me. What’s the most bizarre Horror movie you’ve ever seen? Idk off the top of my head. Would you ever take a Lie Detector test for your significant other? No, but only because I find them as bullshit. Especially as someone with anxiety, I'd be so scared of something showing as a "lie" to remain calm. Plus, a question may just prompt a memory or thought in you that shows up on the test or whatever but isn't related to lying, stuff like that. Ever had a forbidden love or lover? No. Do you like canopy beds? YES. I WANT ONE. If you could summon any animal to come to your rescue, what animal would it be and why? Ummm maybe a bear? They're tanks and super dangerous with their claws, teeth, and muscles.