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octahyde · 2 days ago

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Do you have any original characters for TWST?

(As a preface I do have another OC I ship with Chenya, Beau Rhodes, but… I haven’t done much with him besides conceptualizing him. Maybe I should do more since I don’t talk about it enough but TreyRid really really is my romantic canonxcanon TWST OTP and I love it desperately even if I never talk about it. I’ve also been fucking around lately with middle freak Ortho having a form he can use on the surface but ehhh that’s not really an OC thing.)

Ok here it is… The #yumeshit lore post. I actually wanna start getting into like the yume community on BlueSky or something because it has a lot more male yumes than tumb (or rather twit does but my main is a permalocked personal and they’re all slowly but surely jumping ship to BlueSky LMAO), so I might as well explain The Lore in detail.

As a preface I spend a LOT more time thinking about them when they’re older, because 1) self actualization and 2) why would I EVER want to willingly think about being a teenager again. I literally describe high school as “a haze of undiagnosed mental illness, and also drama club”. no thanx. It’s just not like… too lore noteworthy vs the stuff that actually happens in canon lol. Here’s what they look like as adults. I’ve mentioned working on a Shrouds piece that took 2 months I finally finished last week, and this is it:

(Side note- along with being a tgirl I hc Idia is a double below the knee amputee after the incident that killed Ortho)

also feel like I should say… Trix’s views on Rook don’t reflect mine LMAO. I have mixed feelings on Rook, but overall my feelings lean positive towards him. He’s a total freak and it’s funny as fuck and I love it. So if you like him don’t try to take the dynamic too personally, it’s the way it is for a laff more than anything.

Beatrice “Trixie” “Trix” Hart is a catch all self insert of mine; mostly for platonic yume. (She was made as a self insert assistant for Klavier Gavin, hence the name, and is also platonic with syl(gags) sylv(throws up in my mouth a little) Sylvain Jose Gautier. If you wanna know about those you can ask ig, I don’t have a ref for 3H Beatrice but I did draw AA Trixie when I came up with her.) She started out as a girl (and I still view her as such in those universes) but for TWST he’s specifically a guy because. Well. This game made me realize I was a transhet man and especially yume helped me sort that out along with being st4t exclusive LOL

Trix is a Pomefiore second year bnuuy beastman from the Shaftlands, Class C (same class as Azul and Jamil). It just kind of really conveniently worked out that my sonas usually have upright brown bnuuy years like the Snow White bunnies and I’m so artistic Pomefiore was the only dorm that makes sense LOL. His Book 7 cameo on Rook’s shelf…

He’s in Film Research Club, and is unique because he joined specifically for crew work, not acting. He’s very extroverted in club and with people he’s close to, but he can be surprisingly introverted when he’s not comfortable. (Ambivert moment). He specializes in practical magic with his sewing and art, and Hates PE. (He likes flying, though.)

His unique magic is My Sweet Heart, which lets him see memories and emotions from people if he grasps their right hand and puts his hand over their heart.

Caycay is his Number One BFF. I don’t know how they met his first year, but it was basically an immediate click (#trans recognizes #trans. #real #recognizes #real.). Trix walks to class with him every morning, and they frequently go to cafe collabs on the weekend and after class, being sure to leave some of their food out of their magicam posts lest they earn the wrath of their wardens LMAO. If Trix needs someone, Caycay is There for him.

Him and Vil are also VERY close. During his first year, there was an incident that lead to him being roommates with Vil, despite her being a second year and him being first. Trix Really does not like to talk about it, and while Vil would be fine telling people, she doesn’t out of respect for him. She also appreciates someone around club that’s enthusiastic about crew work, and tends to let him lead costume and prop work.

It’s Very clear he has a huge crush on her and that she doesn’t reciprocate. Sometimes she might throw him a bone and give him a little extra praise though LMAO. They do have a very bad fight toward the end of Vil’s third year though, and they go years without talking after.

His closeness with Vil leaves him some leverage for defending Epel. (#nonpassing recognizes #nonpassing. #real recognizes #real.) It’s mostly in vain, though, but Epel appreciates being looked out for a LOT. Especially because, despite how artistic and fashionable Trix is, his personality is MUCH more down to earth than other Pomefiore students. He’s the biggest advocate for Epel transferring to Savanaclaw his second year and someone who Epel confides a lot into.

Rook’s nickname for him is Monsieur Lapin (Floyd’s is Sea Bunny. Floyd doesn’t come up so I figure I might as well say it heh.). He hates Rook. He thinks Rook is a freak. Especially as a beastman he thinks Rook is super fucking weird. Rook loves Trix’s artwork and his personal journey with beauty and adores him a lot as his beloved underclassman. He knows Trix hates him. He doesn’t care. Trix hates him So Much.

He doesn’t know Ortho much minus the guy who sits next to Caycay’s companion pre Book 6, but once Ortho joins Film Research Trix gets attached REALLY fast. He’s always wanted a younger sibling so he dotes on Ortho constantly, and they rec each other anime and games all the time. (Trix gets him into Professor Layton and he LOVES it.) He learns… a lot about Idia and Ortho’s relationship through this.

Lilia also got asked to tutor him for history once because Trix can’t do homework For Shit and needs help finishing assignments despite his test scores. This backfires because they don’t get anything done ever, but most importantly for The Lore they trade socials and thus Trix is friends with Muscle Red and knows who he is.

Ok. Now the meat of it. The #yumeshit.

I think it’s probably obvious, but Trix is a nonpassing trans guy. NRC being an all boys school makes him feel safer, but… when he’s not at NRC, even if it’s just in the foothill town, he girlmodes. Being misgendered hurts a lot less that way. (No this is not projecting. Just kidding it is. Please help me.)

As a way of getting respite from this, he VTubes as a magical boy with a voice changer. I don’t have a proper ref but his sona is like the best design I’ve ever done and I’m lowkey mad about it. Anyways. While his interests aren’t really a secret irl it’s always kind of surprising when someone that doesn’t know him finds out he’s into nerdy things, but he gets REALLY invested in the games he’s playing and he has A Lot of info and interpretations to share. And despite his bright design, he gets most excited from horror. He’s not a huge indie by any means but he has a solid following.

And when Muscle Red sees there’s a well known horror game Gloomurai likes on the docket, well, he HAS to invite them to watch his friend with him! They’ve been telling him how their favorite speedrunner retired and they need someone new to watch, anyways.

Idia’s very pensive at first, seeing such a bright and sparkly character playing Resident Evil 7, a horror game with a very disgusting atmosphere and themes to match. Probably going to overreact to everything and pretend to be super scared and upset to look cute for views. But he’s watching with Muscle Red, and he wouldn’t make her watch something cringey like that, would he…?

As the game starts up, he starts gushing about what an amazing atmosphere the game has. The entire thing is filthy, and that leads to an overwhelming feeling of dread and disgust- even moreso with the family. His eyes light up when he points out an early scene is referencing The Blair Witch Project.

When it comes to things outside of gameplay itself, he really knows his stuff. Despite how mad him dying for the hundredth time on an extremely easy stealth section makes her, it’s nice to see such a passionate horror otaku. She almost doesn’t mind it because she likes listening to him talk. (Almost.)

Idia starts watching him with Muscle Red regularly. She’s too shy to talk in chat, so she just gives a lot of questionably large donos when he does things.

He gives a lot of half joking “thank you for funding my doll collection” responses at first, but then says Gloom should chat if they’re comfortable. He’d love to get to know someone who is giving him all this money, and they’re considered a legend in chat for it. She’s nervous (she has no idea why), but she does slowly start chatting and attaching messages to her donos. Soon, she’s a regular in the chat and community.

So active, in fact, she finds herself with a dm asking for her discord one day. A message follows shortly after about how he appreciates her involvement and wants to get to know her better- now that she’s more talkative, he thinks she’s really funny.

From there starts a quickly blooming online friendship. They talk whenever they get the chance, though he strictly has to go to bed early or he’ll get chewed out by his housewarden. (A female housewarden…? Is he even forced into the girl dorms at his school?) Idia’s never forthcoming with private info, though, and he seems pretty hesitant with how feminine he is irl to give much past vague detail, either.

Meanwhile, Trix has to be incredibly careful when lights out and Rook makes the rounds with how late he’s staying up. He is the number one person Trix would rather Die than see his conversation history when confiscating his phone. Gloom’s rude but funny and he loves hearing about X Obscure Game Yaoi Ship. (Sometimes he becomes a casual fan of the series and ship in question- he has been commissioned a LOT to draw her Star Rogue OTP by her.) (He also gets converted to Luisley probably.)

Offline, though, Idia and Trix’s relationship is… awkward. One time during remedial gym lessons when both of them had to run laps in his first year, Trix started complaining about missing club and how he needed to fix his make up, and Idia, being Idia, made a really snide comment about it. Trix snapped at her, and while to him it was just having a bad day, Idia… never really recovered from it.

In the next year her only exposure was daily convos that were way too peppy for so early in the morning with the extrovert that sat next to her. (I’ve always hced Idia and Caycay sit next to each other in class and straight up forget this isn’t actually canon on a regular basis.) At some point, he started taking curious glances at Idia, which didn’t help at all.

Trix starts getting suspicions about Idia from the few times he does hear her talk, and how similar it sounds. Has he met her before…? But surely he would remember knowing someone as distinctive as Idia, right?

He has absolutely zero involvement in Book 6 also. With everything going on (because their vice warden ROOK LITERALLY LEFT WITH NO WARNING OR BACKUP PLAN, BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DID, HE IS THE WORST PERSON ALIVE WHO HAS EVER BEEN BORN), him and his roommate end up being the ones to take charge and keep Pomefiore in order. I feel like with Idia yumes in particular Book 6 is a Big Thing because like, Book 6, so I feel like this is important info.

(He IS in Book 7 though. His dream is in between Epel and Rook’s. It’s about being amab :’( He doesn’t take waking up and being back in his actual body well.)

Her and Ortho coming back clear any doubts in his mind: Gloom suddenly leaving on the night of the incident, with zero word since, only to long back on with a “sry, irl stuff happened,” the day after the Shrouds come back? She’s Gloom. Especially getting to know Ortho in club and listening to him talk about her, there is literally no other option.

He was planning on confronting her about it… then Book 7 happened. Obviously how it ends could change this, but for now once everything’s settled Idia gets a discord notif saying he has to talk to her, and he wants to in person. She tries to say it would be too hard to arrange, only to get a simple response: “Ignihyde Lounge. One hour. You’ll know when you see me.”

She is, unsurprisingly, horrified. How did he figure out? Does he hate her now that he knows she’s a freak? Is he coming to tell her how he can’t believe he befriended someone so pathetic? He’s going to tell everyone all the things she said in confidence. “Lol, you guys thought Shroud was a freak before? Get a load of this!”

Luckily, Trix told Ortho about it. He’s able to coax Idia out and helps her to the dorm lounge, holding her hand along the way.

And indeed, the one Pomefiore uniform in Ignihyde’s dorm lounge sticks out like a sore thumb. Her heart rate explodes. He’s who she’s been talking to this entire time?! No. No. Absolutely no way. She’s not doing this. She tries to turn and run away, but her brother’s death grip (why did she give him all that strength?) keeps her in place.

He looks around awkwardly as he walks up. “Hey, uh… sorry about that time I snapped at you. Ortho told me it really freaked you out.” Trying to calm her down would hopefully make this easier.. “Do… you want to go somewhere more private? You’re even paler than normal.”

Yes. I do. Alone. And I want to forget this even happened. Unfortunately for her, the look on her bother’s face told her it was a mandatory quest. Defeated, she leads him back to her room.

He sits uncomfortably stiff on her bed. Idia hides in her chair, turned away from him. He tells her that he doesn’t hate her, that he doesn’t think she’s pathetic. No response. Luckily, he invited Ortho for backup.

“He really wants to be your friend, Idia! He’s the still same person you’ve been talking to online. And he’s really nice. He’s the one who recommended those games to me!”

Taking a cue on how exhausted she is mentally, Trix gets up and walks to the door. “Just… think about it, okay?”

Think about what? The fact that this person she got close to was actually a loud extrovert who hung around a bunch of normies? That he knows all of the rumors about her? Forget real life- he could go online and tell everyone what a freak Gloomurai was irl, too.

They don’t talk anywhere for like a week and Trix doesn’t walk to class with Caycay, but then they do talk it out. It’s really hard and REALLY scary for Idia, but she’s able to accept him into her life as a friend. He ends up being a really big pillar of stability for her, and he already knows about her own transness and boymoding which makes him even safer.

And… that’s how they are to the end of her third year! Friends. And really, not looking for anything past that.

Idia gets a really REALLY nice condo in the Kingdom of Heroes for her internship. (Which she mostly even only uses the upper half of. Smfh) She also gets two cats; a white one, Clear, and a gray one, Ryoji. I’m sure you can guess who they’re named after. Reminder that Idia is canonically a fujoshi. Anyways.

Trix visits during school breaks with Ortho… he also stays in Ortho’s room with him while he’s there. For the most part it’s a lot of just comfy stuff like gaming and watching movies, Ortho taking Trix out to see things and such. Over Winter break while visiting Trix edits one of the Film Research pieces for the culture fair bc he’s club president now… By the time of said fair with 4th years presentations it’s very obvious to like Everyone how they feel. (And they probably know it themselves but try to ignore it because neither feels ready for a relationship).

A really REALLY big point worth noting during this time period (and this is all I’ll say bc I know it’s a difficult topic) is that they see each others cutting scars for the first time. They never really comment on or talk about it, but there’s a wordless understanding and comfort between them afterwards.

Idia’s staying on the surface for at least a few years to see if researching with Olympos resources can give any new perspectives on blot or her curse. If Trix wants to stay for his internship, there’s plenty of room. She doesn’t admit it, but she really wants him to stay. Unfortunately, though, he’s always been interested in the Queendom of Roses and opts for an editing internship with a publisher there.

It’s more of the same; he visits her more regularly because he’s not limited to NRC’s schedule, and he still streams and she still watches and talks to him. He also adopts Chunky who LIVES FOREVER AND NEVER DIES, EVER. There’s an undeniable closeness between them but neither are still ready to actually act, even if it’s clear they may as well already be together lol.

During this time she also starts getting him transformation potions to help with dysphoria from STYX while he transitions.

After his internship, he’s able to get a job at the Kingdom of Heroes office of the publisher he interned for. He may or may not have chosen to transfer on purpose- there’s plenty of space there, anyways, so much so he can have his own room big enough to both sleep and work in. Ortho’s out on his own acting internship with Vil’s agency, so for the most part it’s just them and their cats in this huge place lmao. It’s really easy to coexist because there’s space when they need it and Idia’s like entire gamer zone on the upper level when they wanna do stuff together. It works out really well.

There are a whole bunch of headcanons of mine about STYX and the Shrouds and their relationships that I’m not really comfortable going into. However, when they overblotted together, Idia and Ortho did something… really traumatic unrelated to Middle Freak Ortho’s death that Idia blames herself for. She still has regular nightmares about it, and while Trix usually isn’t around from the breakdowns because he’s in his room when they happen, this time he fell asleep upstairs and heard all of it.

He goes in to check on her, and she’s really closed off. He’s eventually able to get her to tell him what happened and her guilt, but… He already knew. Ortho told him years ago when they were all still at NRC. He was waiting for her to tell him on her own terms.

Idia does uhh not take this being hidden from her well! He rationalizes that knowing it and never judging her and standing by her side this entire time means he truly does care and doesn’t blame her. He holds her hand and for the first time says it:

“I love you.”

Idia looks at him wide eyed for a second before turning away.

“You need to leave.”

He’s allowed to stay- she’s not going to just throw him on the street- but he is not allowed upstairs near her. She needs time to process everything. Especially how he hurt her trust.

Eventually they are able to talk it out though and end up in a relationship. YIPEE!!!!!! Ortho moves in permanently around this time with his internship over with his 2 dogs to add to the family. :)

There’s a lot of stuff with STYX and Woe I haven’t fuuuuuully sorted out the details of, but Idia does eventually have to go back for a while to put her research to use and put an end to things. I think this period is really tough because she does Not want Trix to see what a horrible place it is and how it’s the source of so many awful things it was so she tries to leave him. She doesn’t obv and she’s able to successfully find a solution to the Phantom problem.

Once she’s back, though, she does have a near immediate breakdown- with it all over, her brain can actually like. Process what her life was up to that point and she just kind of snaps. She ends up hospitalized for a few months to keep her safe from a HORRIFIC schizophrenic break. Trix uses STYX Bux for a place to stay so he can visit her near daily and help her through it. There’s also a REALLY bad incident with Ortho.

Minus that though from there it’s… really just them being happy, healing, and transitioning with each other. Idia becomes an indie game dev and Trix becomes a horror writer. He still streams (she started vtubing somewhere along the way too), but they’ve never publicly posted about their relationship. It’s really funny because it’s like blatant but they just try to act like it isn’t LMAO.

As they get older, they move to a small, quiet place in the Queendom of Roses. They have 3 kids (who I also have ocs for but that’s WAY too cringe) who are very well loved. Ortho also lives with them and they have a very happy family. :)

TL;DR: Idia wins the VTuber Fuck A Fan contest.

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twst #twst oc #twst ocs #oc x canon #twisted wonderland oc #yumeship #yumedanshi #selfship #idia shroud #twst idia #beautiful transgender wife #yumeshit #m #ask #oc talk

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moonleap42 · 13 days ago

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Introducing myself~

Why did I make this blog?

I don't want to lead a bad life, wasting away my time as I always have. On this blog, I'll record the journey I'm on to finally become the person God wanted me to be - who I really need to be.

I thought keeping a public digital diary of my progress would motivate me more than just constantly spiraling and talking to myself as if I'm the worst person in the world for having issues. So far, it's working out very well!

My body, as it is now (November 16, 2024):

Weight: 65.9KG

Body fat %: 32.7%

Waist circumference: ~28 inches

My goals:

Physical:

Get to 20% body fat

Gain more muscle

Do cardio at least 3 times a week

Do yoga every day, minimum 20 mins

Learn belly dancing properly

Learn industrial dancing

Have a good posture

Go hiking at least once a week

Eat 100% clean (NO JUNK EVER!!!!!!!!!!)

Fall into a regular skincare routine

Stop biting my lips and actually heal them for once!!!

Cut out synthetics from my life (especially from hygiene products)

Recycling my waste properly

Take my vitamins regularly (including spirulina + chlorella)

Improve my gut health (aka eating WAY more fermented stuff)

Drink at least 2 liters of water per day regularly

Grow out my hair longer (aka get into hair oils and masks)

Generally repair the damage birth control has dealt to my body (ultra detox needed)

Juice cleanses once per week

Fast one day out of the week

Fast for at least 14 hours per day

Drink more tea!

Lifestyle:

Engage with my hobbies more

Learn how to knit

Learn how to crochet

Learn how to sew

Become an excellent chef

Learn how to make soap and candles

Learn how to grow animals and care for them

Learn embroidery

Learn how to make lace

Become better at doing fancy hairstyles

Get back into drawing and actually become good at it

Learn an instrument (harp of some sort, probably)

Learn how to weave fabric/how to make textiles in general

Get good at time management (NO MORE WASTING TIME!!!!)

Learn pottery/clay sculpting

Learn wood sculpting

Learn corsetry (part of sewing but it's very specific)

Start reading parenting books regularly

Learn bushcraft

Get into birdwatching

Start selling handmade things online

Mental/Spiritual:

Read at least 100 pages everyday

Successfully learn Middle Egyptian

Successfully learn Polish

Successfully learn Ancient Greek

Successfully learn Italian

Successfully learn German

Successfully learn French

Teach myself mathematics (to an advanced level)

Finish Plato's dialogues (under Iamblichus' curriculum)

Read all the worthwhile Neoplatonists

Become a knowledgeable herbalist

Become knowledgeable about foraging

Become knowledgeable about homesteading

Become better at managing finances

Become able to do basic to intermediate house or device repairs myself

Become knowledgeable about investing/trading

Business research

Fill out an entire notebook with my best recipes

Meditate at least 30 minutes everyday

Pray to the Gods everyday

Make shrine

Make regular offerings

Learn astrology/astronomy

Learn numerology

Become familiar with the Vedas

A lot of goals, but I plan on continuing this blog for at least a couple years and I believe I can achieve a fair bit in that time.

We'll see how everything goes. I will most definitely update this list as time goes on.

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piperjistic · 24 days ago

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Aspiration Deprivation- Trin

“So Trin, what do you want to do now?”

They both stood in front of her newly acquired house, wishing a farewell to the keybearer. She graduated from school and signed for the quaint central house, provided by the Citrine Batch TM. Boxes ready to move in sit beside them.

She took a deep breath. She response is confident and decisive.

“I… don’t know.”

Her mother quirks a brow up at her. “Don’t know?”

Trin nods, just as confident and decisive as her initial answer, minus the “-eh” afterwards. No- The older woman shakes her head at that… ridiculous answer. “Yes you do, of course you do.”

“I… suppose-“ Adjusting the box in hand, ”— I could finish moving into the house with these boxes.”

That wasn’t the right answer, as her mother’s frown grows, but it was better than nothing.

“You specialized in craftsmanship during school? I remember you often doing crafts of sorts when coming home.”

“Ehhh, no. More like my teachers liked my handwork and I went with that. I mean I picked up a lot of side classes to know more about stuff rather with my specialization.”

She tskes out basic cleaning supplies out the box. It was a specialized plan for Trin. The schoolhead had a discussion with her parents after her screening and interview. She was literally there. Her major, more attentive classes focused on her sewing, building, blacksmithing, and so on. Practical skills guaranteed to get business and trades that also doubled to living independently. She liked them, genuinely, it kept her hands busy and mind busy. And trading would keep her uncluttered. She only kept a few crafts from school, the others she either traded away or let the school display them.

She chipped away at crafts while she did whatever other classes her mentor and teachers recommended. It was all interesting, fascinating even: the evolution of architecture, herbal medicine, and stretching anatomy.

Would she researched more on her own? No. Well, probably not. But her teachers knew better than to push her to really specialize in something.

Except for Hilton. He tried. He failed miserably. Trin almost feels bad for him. The graduate fiddles with the keys at the door.

School succeeded in giving her skills to live. Why can’t she see that? That was the goal, wasn’t it? The baseline goal anyways…

She finished with a scoff, waving the dust away. “Oh Trin, what are we gonna do with you…”

“We can start by you getting off my ass.”

She retorts with a bite before sighing. Trin opens her door, welcomed by the burning lemon candle. She inhales contently. “Now that’s home.”

“So you want to stay in the Batch and house right? How about blacksmithing? Tapestry? I can get you an agent!” The woman grits her teeth, patience wearing more than thin.

“Mom.” She can’t and won’t curse her mom out, but she will lay her frustration on, thick, for her to understand.

“How about this-“ Her voice was blunt yet restrained. “-I want to move in to my new house, I want to take a nice walk at my new neighborhood, I want to go to the supermarket to buy food before sundown, i want to just meet my neighbors by the end of the week.” She sets the box on the counter harder than she intended. The young woman pivots towards her mom, leaning on the counter. “Okay?”

She puts her own box down on the couch, sighing and shaking her head.

“You always did lack aspirations as a kid. Where’s your muse??? Your inspiration???”

“I just listed muses, my muse is to live a comfortable life.” Trin dryly responds.

She dismisses her, continuing on. “Well you can’t be comfortable not working towards anything.”

“But I am??? Living??? Is that, not enough???”

The graduate short circuits with that thought. What logic is she missing when they both get into it about this??? Can someone tell her? What is she missing???

“And I mean something independent to the essentials. Now then, you know-“

And this is where Trin truly lost her mother at the speech supermarket, dully yammering on and on about potential? Or doing big things? Something like that.

She shakes her head, never getting it. Is being herself not enough?

She did dabble in hobbies now and then, eventually doing something with it like a big project. She was competitive in games as a child and did enjoy athletics time from time.

But other then that, that’s it. No need to make it a life goal or anything. Just a in-the-moment thing to do with her hands and brain, then let go.

If anything that seems tiring and rigid. Forever the same thing over and over instead of experiencing something new when it comes her way.

Whatever. Trin blows a braid out of her face. At least she’s taking boxes in as she goes. Strong as an ox, gabby as a smeerkat.

Wiping her brow, she offers her handkerchief to the other, who dabs own with it.

“-this is all to say I’m still proud of you Trin. Really, I am. I love you for who you are but really, I wish you found a passion in… I don’t know, something! Anything really!”

“Well I’ll keep that in mind ma’h. You know me.”

Maybe it’s the lemon and honey keeping her calm, or maybe more annoyed than irritated. Last time she yelled back at her that just because she was dissatisfied with her own accomplishments in life that it shouldn’t bleed into hers. That was a hard one to deal with afterwards and she did drop it for a while. She sighs. At least she lives at her own place now and won’t be bugged about it.

Her mother brings her in for a tight hug. “I know, I know. I’m sorry if I’m buggin ya up a storm, Trin. You’re an adult and can do what you want, even if it doesn’t bring you goods and you’ll always have us to rely on.”

“Mom I can support myself with what I have.”

“Telling me off is an option too.”

Trin sighs. “Ma, what is this really about? You’ve been talkin nonstop since we got here. It isn’t completely about that is it?”

She sighs herself. “Maybe I worry you’ll stop visitin us at some point or you won’t come back to us to or somethin’.” She walks deeper into the home briefly, looking around. She rubs the wall. “You’re my only baby, my lil Trin.”

She stares back at Trin, coming back over. “You’re gettin older. Hell, it was only yesterday you were in my arms giving me mud pies.“ Her mother dabs her eyes with the handkerchief.

“Me and yer’ pa gettin older ‘n older. We gotta stick together when we can, right? I just want to help you.”

“Oh ma, you’re never too old.”

They hug, tight and sincere. She didn’t want to let go, never did Trin for a moment. Maybe she should of asked her sooner. Or did some self reflection herself. Oh well.

“Thanks for moving me in, love you, and I’ll visit soon.”

“Love you too dear.” Her mother kisses her cheek, allowing Trin to pull away.

“Now don’t go waiting for opportunities to fall into your lap. Go create some! Get invested in your new community!” Trin rolls eyes for the last time.

“Bye ma.”

- - -

Trin sits at the window in her new room on the second floor, finally at peace. It was beautiful site, colors cascading down to the sun, bring the cover of night slowly. This cup of lemonade is sure hitting the spot too. She takes another sip. A breeze curls around her braids, caressing with welcome and care. Chirps, far away chatter and tinkering, resonates in the background for her.

Trin raises a brow at a pack of birds, noticing it’s bigger than normal until noticing the luggage strapped to then. “About time…” She mumbles.

Messenger birds fly around, dropping flyers for everyone to witness and receive. Even if they don’t care for reading, they could toss it in the fire for kindle. A win/win that gets news delivered and cleaned off the street.

A flyer dances through the air. Trin reaches and snatches it out the air. Her eyes scan the paper, then she hums contently. It’s calling for Citrine Batch recruits in migration guarding. It is around that time of the year and would be good exercise. See? Ma didn’t know what she was talking about. Just wait and see.

#write bite #Trin Complamint

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pbandjesse · 8 months ago

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Today was a very very sleepy day. We did go out. And I did do some work. But it was mostly a sleepy, rainy day.

I was feeling unsettled last night. And honestly I still feel a bit unsettled. But sleep was pretty good.

I work up at 730 originally to ask James of the car was parked in the right spot for street cleaning. And of course it wasnt so James went out to move it and then came back to bed with me. We slept until 10. Just mostly just dozed but I was fully asleep and getting up was really hard.

I would shake off the sleepies though. Got up and got washed and dressed. My hair dried a little funny but that's alright. James would make the bed and headed downstairs to make me a grilled peanut butter and Jesse and made cornbread. Excellent.

I would do a little cleaning of my frog tank. Had to take the bucket outside and had to be in the rain for a minute. The temperature outside was cool but honestly was nice. But we could not have the door or windows open. Because the train just kept coming inside. We had a bedroom window open all night and woke up with a wet windowsill.

Breakfast was nice. I was tired. We would just hang out for a little. But I would jump into sewing. And would get all the not fully fabrics done. I just didn't have it in me to deal with the fluffy ones.

After I finished sewing I would start adding faces. And James would join me to help stuff then after they got their face installed. We had a good little system going. And once I was done faces, James would continue the stuffing while I worked on sorting my boxes of eyes and noses. It's very organized now and I'm very pleased.

Once I was done that I went to lay on the couch for a bit. Eventually James would join me. And after laying together for a bit we decided to go get hoagies and walk around target.

This was very fun. We got into crazy laughing fits and we were just being super silly. I liked my sandwich but they only put mayo in the middle and I was trying to explain to James that I often war food chasing textures. Like this sandwich was mainly for the texture of mayo and bread so if there is no mayo it is disappointing. And James thought this was so silly and we were laughing and being ridiculous. I literally had tears rolling down my face. Ja.sa was like. Are you going to be okay at target??? And I was like. I do not know but let's try.

It was nice walking around target but I was also feeling a little dizzy and tired. But I was still having a good time. Got a few things we needed. A few we didnt. I ran to the bathroom while James was paying. And I met them to carry our stuff to the car. We forgot to put bags in the car again. Silly.

We would go home and I was really tired. James would put things away and then joined me. They played video games and I fell asleep.

I don't actually know how long I was asleep but it was a deep sleep. I was a little loopy.

James was cooking and would make dinner. A little to close to our late lunch. So I just felt crazy fully. My stomach still kind of hurts now. Dinner was smashed potatoes and broccoli and it was good so I didn't want to not eat it but I was hurting a little.

James asked if I would watch Dune with them. Of course my love. I don't really like watching movies but I've been enjoying it. I specially liked watching dune with James because I could ask questions since they know it so well.

And I did really enjoy it. We took a half hour or so break. I got in a weird headspace and we talked through it and it helped a little bit I was kind of upset about nothing. I don't know why. But I would be alright. And we were able to finish the movie.

And now it is late. And I am really tired. This was a lazy, rainy day, and I feel good.

Tomorrow I go back to work. And hopefully get more lesson stuff completed. And that whatever crazy storm is coming through doesn't effect my drive.

Goodnight everyone. Sleep good!

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justaduckarts · 2 years ago

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A Look At Next Year

I know that we are literally only halfway through December, but I will be travelling for the holidays to see my family, so I wanted to go ahead and get this sort of technical type post out of the way.

Here you will find details about plans for next year’s projects!

This includes: Upload schedules, goals, and projects I plan to start next year! :)

Long Post Ahead

Current Projects

Dirty Night Clowns: Uploads every Sunday and Wednesday, chapters generally avg at 4k words (but can be as long as 10k if that’s what the pacing demands).

One Who Holds A Star (Star Holder AU): Plan to upload at least once a week, I’m thinking Tuesday or Thursday... Maybe Friday. Word count goal? As long as it’s at least 1k we’re gravy. (But we should try for 2-3k)

Help! I’m Trapped In a Fanfiction: This will continue to upload sporadically, as I have to be in a certain mood to write the silly stuff. No word count goal, this project is just something to make myself (and others) laugh.

Project Goals:

Finish DNC before the summer. Assuming the story doesn’t shift dramatically, I suspect it will end up being right around 50 Chapters.

Finish Star Holder. I can’t imagine it will take the WHOLE YEAR to write the story. It will probably be pretty long, but I think we can do it.

Figure out where the hell H!ITIAF! is going...

New Projects:

Outlining some projects in my drafts/WIPS that I would like to start sharing next year!

Project: Personal Care Unit: This is an idea I have for a series of shorter fics all set in the same universe. A Personal Care Unit (hereafter referred to as PCU) is an animatronic designated to care for one who needs care. This can be anything from a little extra help around the house to aiding people with disabilities etc. etc.

Glass Walls and Study Samples: This story actually has 20 chapters already drafted that I wrote in like August but I hit a wall and I want to heavily revise the story before I begin sharing. Here’s the concept: You know how people often write fanfics where the DCAs are strange creatures that Y/N discovers or is studying? Well, what if Y/N was a little space explorer? What if they went to a planet they’d been told had no sentient life? What if that planet DID have sentient life? What if YOU were the strange creature captured for study? What if you fell in love with the scientists that were studying you anyway? :) (This story might contain spice, I’m on the fence)

Pluto Initiative: This is actually something I’ve got a few pages outlined for already. It’s my hope to eventually make a short comic that introduces my DCA OC Pluto! The comic would explore her story as an animatronic learning about things like friendship, love, and what makes a person good or bad. I won’t give away too much, but I will say that the story isn’t a romance and I actually don’t ship Pluto with the boys. Her character arc is very important to me and I hope to portray it well. This comic will probably have some horror elements. :)

Miscellaneous Goals:

Try to draw one thing a week! This can be related to any of my projects.

Oh my gosh please learn to pace yourself :)

Finish sewing that Sunny Plush.

Start the Moom plush :)

Get caught back up on my fanfic bookmarks so I can shower all my moots and favorite writers with love <3

Make more fanart for all the incredible AUs and fanfics I’ve read.

Find people who will just yell with me about the DCA boys (and possibly their OCs and mine)

Participate in an art/writing event!

I think that just about covers everything that I have cooking or hope to accomplish. It’s going to be a year. I look forward to next year! Thank you guys so much for all your support and I hope you’ll stick with me for even more in the future!

#justaduckarts #DNC #star holder au #star holder #H!ITIAF!#plans #future plans #upload schedule #future projects

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finsterhund · 1 year ago

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I'm planning to finally write the long awaited update to my first medium article on Sly, so I went back and read my past articles and holy shit did I dump trauma into them. God. The one where I talk about needing to replace Ope because he won't survive much longer if I keep chewing on him pretty much documented how my life fell apart when Cazza left remission for the last time. Seeing photos of her on it made me fucking break. I tried reading the one about stuffed dogs that resemble Spot and I had her REVIEW EACH ONE. She was like my little coauthor. God.

No wonder it's gotten so much harder to write those. I'm missing my best friend who gave irreplaceable input.

I want to write the Sly II of Sly II though because I want to share the collective information I've found about Sly since then. It's criminal that unless you get your hands on a tag of Charlene's forever toys to read it yourself their stories are all lost to time.

If I had the energy I'd make my own fansite. Provide more lore info than egnome provides for them. But sadly I'm too exhausted. Just Sly for me. Also you literally have to buy one complete with tags to see the whole tag story and obviously I'm going to limit the amount of 300 dollar stuffed animals I buy thank you very much. My first, Sly II I got for way less than he's worth and my upcoming Christmas present I'm drastically reducing my calorie intake to afford. (Don't worry, they are raising my disability income for the new year and I'm not destitute yet lol)

I just. Man. I keep thinking what it must have been like when Charleen was around and actively making these guys. Meeting up at toy expos and such. All in the US, yeah, but still. Would have loved to meet her. Asked all about Sly. Back when her toys were still in production getting promotional materials would have been easier too. Apparently she had a little fan magazine she shipped out every so often where people could send in letters? That's the sort of stuff you don't get with mass produced toys but is also too much work for modern independent creators who are treading water in today's economy. The egnome mailing list doesn't even work anymore. I wonder when it stopped running.

I'm still not giving up on trying to recreate my own backup Sly, but I'm just so tired all the time. I wish I had a workshop and wasn't just doing everything in life straight outta my bedroom. If you saw my bedside table situation and the mess it is you'd all hurl. The discount section of a fabricland was shit out all over every even remotely flat available surface.

As futile as it seems and as tired as I am, I am also pleased to report that some level of progress is being made though. I'm designing ideas to make my own take on the character distinct enough from the original. I'm also on that subject thinking about finally learning how to quilt. For real this time. Using my roommate's sewing machine is a pain in the ass so most of what I'm doing is by hand so not as nice looking but I have more control and am less likely to murder my hand.

I keep wishing we could go to the other thrift store so I can go on a quest for a ton of vintage buttons. I'm looking for upholstery buttons specifically. God that's another thing. I love buttons. You know that? I should make a quilt that also serves as a button collection. And I still want to one day make a quilt from many of Cazza's old things but currently I can't bear to alter them in any way so I've put them in a tote in my closet so I don't stare at them and cry.

Good news in that I cleaned my room a bit and that Scott is almost finished with his ear medicine. He's become such a good boy about letting me out the drops in his ears. Really adaptable he is.

I keep thinking about how I wish I could go back to drawing tons of Heart of Darkness fan art again. But I remind myself that my very own Whisky died in my arms and yeah. It's no wonder I don't have the heart to do what I'm passionate about anymore.

Maybe I make a Sly entirely out of the dollar store paw print blankets of which Cazza died with. I'd get brand new ones, enough to make the Sly, don't know how many that would take but they're a nice texture. I have old fleece I got at a discount that reminds me of the Cazza collar maybe I could make a Cazza Sly and give him a Cazza collar.

Another thing is there's just been no info on the crying dog. None at all. I didn't stop caring about him. Just that nothing new has happened. Very sad.

Hopefully playing pikmin 3 and then 4 will be a nice reprieve. I can hope.

#text post #negative #long post

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seaoreos · 1 year ago

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I got a new bag at forest fair this year. It’s red and orange and shaped like a whale shark with big button eyes, ridiculously adjustable straps, and a surprising amount of space inside compared to my old bag.

So I’ve piled a lot of things into it. Among the usual things like wallet, phone, lip balm. A small bottle of lotion, a small tin of hand cream, two different kinds of earplugs, glasses cleaner, phone battery, a notebook & pencil, and a small box of the Pride pins I make.

It only has one small pocket inside of it, so I put my most-used and smallest stuff in there. So, to keep things more organized, I put some things into a small handy little mesh bag I got from some dice or earrings or something I got. Two different sizes of pads, normal band-aids, waterproof band-aids, at least four ibuprofen, a pack of tissues… I’m sure there’s something I’m forgetting. Anyways, *everything* that’s in my bag isn’t exactly the point of this post.

Once I realized how much stuff I could put in my new bag, it made me happy to think of being the ‘has literally any random thing and god knows what else in his bag’ guy. And there’s still stuff I wanna add, like maybe a small sewing kit, glasses repair kit… gum. So on.

And recently, in an online class I’ve been in (which could be another, less positive post, at least right now) I saw someone trying to post their art on the discussion board that had done something I had almost done, until I figured out the way everyone else was doing it. So I just dropped a quick comment, telling them I’d had the same problem, and trying to help. Not required or anything, I just… wanted to.

Last night, my friend Skyler was drawing something for the first time in awhile- they were struggling with a small part of it, asked for some help- I did a quick show of how the reference they were using lines worked, the sort of shape they made, and also drew a vague shape of what it could look like over/with their lineart. It didn’t take much work, just a few minutes or so, but they were really happy. The art came out great, by the way, and it made me really happy to see them drawing again.

and tonight my partner was also drawing- something for my birthday, actually. (Tuesday. Oct 3rd. I’m turning 18.) At first he was just struggling with the cuff of a sleeve, some fabric folds, so I did a similar thing to help him out. Now I’m also drawing a quick reference of my oc Viri’s face scar for him, (which I have yet to finish. Class project. That I should be working on instead of writing this.) because he needed that too, and I don’t mind.

They were both thanking me for my help- we were all on call together- and in trying to find something to say, I just managed “I like to help.” And, you know, I really think I do, actually. I like to help. It’s nice. I don’t know where I was going with this originally, but… I like to help. I want to help. And I’ve been doing it without much of a second thought lately, which is nice. It feels good.

it’s 7am and I haven’t slept which isn’t helping my mush brain make the original point/meaning here that I’ve kinda forgotten by now. But I wanna be good and kind and help but I also wanna remember how to be mean again.

but I guess what I mean by ‘mean’ I think, is I want to.. have a backbone again? Be brave again? Be a brash little autistic kid who said ‘but why’ to everything and anything and just did what they thought was right? And it’s kind of ‘mean’ only because a lot of other people see it that way. I wanna stick up for others and myself too, instead of clamming up and not doing it. It doesn’t help that I don’t feel very intimidating. I’m almost 18, but I’m pretty short and a weird little hopefully-kinda-gnc-lookin thing and people just always seem to think that I’m 13 or something. It’s genuinely getting on my nerves. Ma’am. I am a fucking grown ass man. Please stop talking to me like that.

I’m tired I need to sleep. Basically I wanna be kind but take no shit. I guess. That’s very punk to me. And I wanna make a jacket covered in patches and pins and other customizations, maybe some spikes and some moss, paint and sharpies and god knows what else. I simultaneously wanna look like a wizard, some cottage thing, a punk ass fuck, a colorful blob, and some forest creature, which is great. Anyways remembering the nice stuff I’ve done recently w just the. I dunno, almost bewildered ‘I like to help’ that was.. instinct? Makes me feel good. I wanna have my sharp teeth back.

#sea thoughts #this became really incomprehensible #I’m gonna try n get back to thumbnails #and then go to bed. Bc woof

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saffscrafting · 1 year ago

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Sort the stash time

So we recently did a renovation that was very much needed as our family went from 3 to 4 people. This had good and bad. The bad was that there was not nearly enough room for all my craft stuff, but the hood is that I have a dedicated area now that is for my craft stuff.

To start this whole mess off, I had to clear out the area that previously held my stash, a room that had been ignored for a couple years due to the addition of the third member of the family.

When we got into the room to deal with it we found that, not only had we had a small flood from an unknown crack, but I had somehow got moths in my stash!!!!

So at that point it was literally toss the stash as many many bags went to the garbage.

I still had tons to go through but didn’t have the mental capacity for that as I was working hard at 3D printing a tiny human and the house was mid renovation so I had nowhere to put the stuff I was keeping.

Now that the reno is done I am slowly getting things figured out and it is time to do some real digging through my stuff and getting it sorted.

I used to be a stash hoarder, I would keep every scrap. After The Mothening I came to realize that I had stash just for the sake of having stash, and when I wanted to make something I usually went and bought new stuff.

So, to that end, I sorted through my fabric, much of it inherited, and got rid of… 8 tomato boxes worth??

I also went through my knitting books and magazines as I tend to find my patterns online more often than not. I’ve kept my stitch dictionaries, my books on different edgings, and all my Interweave Knits magazines since I had a subscription and they tend to be decent patterns that are more timeless.

I did the same with my sewing patterns. I inherited a LOT of sewing patterns most of which were not my size, and I’ve got it down to about 30 patterns most of which are kids/cabbage patch doll. I’m hoping to learn to draft my own patterns so that they actually fit me.

I also kept my collection of Creative Hands so that I can work through them and hopefully improve my crafting skills.

Still to do is go through my yarn and really consider what I’m actually going to make with what I have. My yarn got hit the most by the moths, but I still have a bunch I need to really decide what I’m going to do with.

That being said, one box of yarn is all for a blanket I’m crocheting, so I’m actively working on getting that finished because then I have a blanket and space that’s my stash.

I also have to go through my fibre. I have two large buckets of fibre for spinning. Two full alpaca fleeces that need processing and a bunch of nice stuff that’s ready to go. At this point I’m planning on keeping all my fibre. It was spared the moths and once I spin it up it becomes yarn!!!

The most daunting task is all my little extras. Beads, trimmings, embroidery floss, fasteners, all the little things that make projects special and take up space. I have a dresser that’s planned to hold all these bits, I just have to pull them out and sort them, then organize them in the drawers.

It’s a ton of work ahead, but writing it out lets me get an idea of where to start.

#crafting #craftblr #knitting #fibre arts #knitblr #handspinning #sewing #hand spinning #organizing #stash #The Mothening

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your--isgayrights · 2 years ago

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Holy shit are you the one that wrote that really good orv soulmates au? You're killing it! Also do you ever think about Kim Namwoon? I do. I think it's cool how he's introduced as a chuuni with no moral code, but as the story progresses he somehow develops into this odd character that represents the lack of a divide between good and evil. At first, his actions in the train are shown as cruel and evil, but then you realize that in some ways, he's actually kind of right? Ima write an essay (1/??)

Ok so im back- so I can't put images in an ask, but Kim namwoon's monologue about killing that woman is actually really interesting. He talks about how they HAVE to kill her- If they don't, they're all going to die. And that's wrong (but only because of the grasshoppers- is Gilyoung wasn't there, He'd actually be in the right here) So, in the context of the first scenario, Kim Namwoon is 'evil'. but as you read more, you realize a lot of stuff which retroactively redeems him (2/??) For example, Everyone outside of car 3807 who survives is a murder, just like Kim Namwoon. And they aren't evil for it- there's a distinction made between murderers and monsters. There's a lot of this- The scene in the theatre dungeon on the boats (live no matter what), etc etc. and we see that Kim Dokja isn't opposed to them either. The main reason he let Kim namwoon die is because he hates him. which is cool! especially because it leads the way for future character development (3/??) Regarding their relationship- Kim Dokja has to come to terms with the fact that Namwoon wasn't actually all that bad, both by working with him in the underworld and meeting the ''him' from alternate regressions. This arc works for two purposes- 1) It relates to the theme of evil versus good- Kim Namwoon is neither, so it's unfair to treat him as one or the other. But the second is my favorite- Kim Dokja's opinion of Namwoon serves as a kind of metaphor for his opinion on himself. (4/5) We know from the text that He sees Kim namwoon as similar to him, and so it's interesting to see him stop hating him as he comes to terms with stuff.

Always cool to hear from someone who's read wall fic :). You reminded me that there's a few Kim Namwoon scenes in the next chapter I'm excited to write... but my writing anxiety has been acting up again on the end of chapter four and I have to finish sewing a l/eech be/anie b/aby from scratch this week, so it'll probably be a bit til we get there.

I think that your analysis is really interesting, mostly because going at it from the angle of "morality" of omniscient reader is a perspective i kind of lack on my own. Like good vs evil is one of The themes of ORV that they hand out to you in their list of themes they have written on some literal walls, but honestly its not something i really think about on my own. For me, like you mention, the big emphasis of KNW's character is what he represents to Kim Dokja, bc i think one of my favorite themes is the relationship of him as a reader to the WoS characters and the "impossible communication" theme.

I think that one of my favorite aspects of Kim Dokja is the way that he was able to empathize and see himself in the different characters in WoS and give them the specific comforts they needed at different times in the story (reaching out to LJY, SYS, YJH, etc) and fundamentally giving them someone who is on their side and their for them when everything is lost and they are alone, because that's something that he didn't have. All throughout reading ways of survival, the only thing by his side was this story. He sort of knows what the solutions to their problems are just cause he knows what he needed back then... so this really positive trait is coming out of his projection of his own thoughts and feelings from the past to these characters he loves. It's great that we have Kim Namwoon as an inversion of that, a character onto whom he's projected not the struggles he faced, but rather the traits that embarrass him.

This is mostly my interpretation but I really feel that there are similarities in the ways KDJ talks about himself as a child idolizing Yoo Joonghyuk and going through a chuuni phase and the way that he talks about KNW, and I think him being unkind to KNW is an extension of him being unkind to himself. Like at the beginning of ORV KDJ is in this place where his hero worship of YJH is at this crossroads with his view of his own self that he expects YJH to just treat him like a bug he has to exterminate unless he proves some other value. This perspective is interesting when you take into account that KDJ of the past would imagine being friends with the WoS characters and even used to pretend he was YJH, and that in fact the entirety of ORV was something he had continuously planned out since childhood when he wrote stats in his school notebook because it paints this picture of his daydreaming just being brutally beat down as he grows up and starts thinking about what would be really "realistic" with the kind of person that he believes himself to be... And then as that process is happening, Kim Dokja reads over and over again YJH just, at the start of every regression, picking up this annoying younger guy who's so desperate to impress him and somehow manages to get his attention while being embarrassingly chuuni and seeming to revel in the chance to kill someone... I think what you say is interesting about whether or not KNW was "right" to murder someone on the train, but honestly I don't think it matters as much whether or not he was right or wrong, just that Kim Dokja thought he was being an asshole about it, lmao. The whole thing of him killing Kim Namwoon is really interesting to me becaus it's a mix of a lot of great things. On one hand it's a big asset for the theme of a reader in the world of his favorite story because the premise of "My favorite book is real so I finally get to kill that character I've always hated," which is hilarious in its own right, gets turned into "wow I killed a 19 year old" when he's slowly starting to realize WoS characters are Real People, but it's also honestly a big piece of forshadowing for the end of orv before the epilogues and Kim Dokja's true character. Kim Namwoon's type of character is the kind that in most apocalypse stories is setting the tone of the edgey new reality, introducing the fact that people will die. He also represents the very idea of being forced into a situation where you must become a murderer or die; the jumping off point of WoS that Kim Dokja as a character fundamentally connects to. As a kid, he was forced to defend himself from his abusive father, and ultimately killed him. This is a central, scarring event of his childhood, and even though he represses and warps this memory into his mother's version of events, the concept is still something real to him and something that shapes his way of thinking. Obviously sometimes killing is necessary, but to enjoy it too much or brag about it on some level is associated with KDJ's past with his mother who wrote a book about murder and himself who once had to kill someone... It's obvious why Kim Dokja would hate a character representing this kind of narrative, that someone must be killed and because of that those involved are blameless, because Kim Dokja always pushes the blame of others' deaths onto himself... because in the world where everything is as Kim Dokja imagines and dreams it to be, KNW comes back as a spirit of vengeance to temporarily stall him on the bridge, there's an idea that KDJ deserves some retribution that he avoids to pursue his goals, which is consistent with what happens at the end right before the epilogues -

(quick digression: I've said this before and I'll say it again; I think that KDJ killing KNW is the reason that YJH tried to kill him in the beginning of ORV. KDJ dismisses it as YJH being an asshole for no reason, but I really believe that on some level YJH saw that KDJ just killed his chuuni little mentee and was like okay i want this guy to die. also getting into orv ending spoilers here ok)

-where KDJ tries to kill the kid version of himself by using disconnected film theory and stabbing himself. Like I genuinely think that KDJ avoids thinking about morality with the efficacy of "I know that I'm in the wrong, but I'm always wrong and terrible and regardless of what ever I am I have to get to the end of the story" and then after that whether or not he feels that he deserves salvation or damnation because to him the story that he loves is both...

gah, that was a tangent. I just mean that I think that part of killing KNW is Kim Dokja trying to kill a part of himself, the part of himself that dared to have the dreams that he had about the WoS characters being his family, just like he tries to kill the OD who still has those dreams... and is utterly baffled that those dreams could actually be realized in any universe. Additionally, the turn around KDJ has with KNW reminds of this in that he sees KNW in this constructive environment where he kind of just gets to be a kid and build gundams and realizes that these things that he hated about himself and KNW were just like... things that kids do. Like being chuuni about murder and the dark truth of the world is just a phase that teenagers go through sometimes just like building gundams... /hj... and like being cringey and having unrealistic ideas and desires isn't inherently malicious, like how we see KNW in the alternate dimension is just sort of a little brother character who has a crush on LJY and fools around with his mentor's stuff... It's similar to the kind of realization you want KDJ to have at the end towards himself when he sees the OD going with SP and crew to be a family lmao.

i wrote a bit lmk if i misphrased something or lost a train of thought somewhere

#also its funny that we talked about the good v evil theme bc i think you were my 666th follower lmao #orv spoilers #kim namwoon #ask #anonymous

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englishmagic · 2 years ago

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wait i wanna hear the flax and linen infodump 👀

Ooh! Okay! So. This is something I talk about all the time at work because during training it is the one thing I kind of fixated on. And I have had some stressful weeks where I have avoided work related topics, hence the late reply. Long ranty infodump about flax under the cut!

SO. Linen, the material, comes from flax. Which basically just looks like grass, but in the late summer it blooms these pretty, blue flowers. Flax doesn't grow very well this far north, so when the harvest is bad, you can use nettles instead, but they are harder to work with and the resulting threads aren't as durable. There was a whole debate about whether or not they could even grow flax this far north in the middle ages, but because of local place names and surnames referencing flax fields, historians have concluded that they probably did - it's at least been a local plant for a long, long time.

Like I said, flax is a grass, a type of straw - I don't know the taxonomy tbh. But most straw has, well, a straw inside - a sort of hollow tube. And then there are fibres on the outside that you can peel off, which is especially easy when the straw is dry. But I've tried doing that with other grass straws out of curiosity, and they just tear almost immediately, the fibres don't hold. With the flax, however, you can basically get the whole length of the straw's worth of fibre, which you can use to make things with. In order to get the fibres off as easily as possible, you dry the flax over the course of the winter, and then soak it again in spring. And THEN when it is dry, that's the easiest point to get the fibres off. I usually do this one straw at a time, because my job is to demonstrate to tourists how this works, but to be honest I prefer to do it that way because I'm still so excited that I can take a piece of grass and tug some stuff off of it and then make a piece of string in like, a minute. But the real way you're supposed to do it is by beating the flax, and then dragging it through a comb-like thing that I don't know the English name of and since I'm just ranting now I can't stop to look it up because I have More to Say Immediately.

You can beat and comb the flax after you've cleared out the hard pieces of straw as well, and the more violent you get with it over longer time, and also, I suspect, the more you soak it, the softer and finer threads you can make. And that's how nice soft linen shirts and things are made. You know how cotton fabric gets softer after you've washed it a few times? It's like doing that before you even weave the fabric. It probably does something to the durability of it, too, if I had to guess. This is not something I've actually done at work.

What I do is literally just make pieces of string. It is excellent stimming when I'm nervous around groups of people, and it's so easy to produce a lot of useful material! You can start right after pulling a fibre off of a straw, and I usually do when I'm talking to visitors. I show them how the fibres work, then tell them about the variable harvests and how you can use nettles as a substitute, and by the time I've finished that sentence I usually have the beginnings of a string to show off. You just take the fibre you got from the grass, bend it in half, then twist one of the two strands - I usually twist it towards me. Then you twine it around the other strand the opposite way, so I would usually twine away from myself. And then repeat the process until you run out of fibre, at which point you can tie it off and have a short piece of string, or you can add on another piece of fibre by twisting it into the old one, elongating it. I have a fishing line that I'm working on, which was started by someone else, that is quite thick and very strong. It's what they'd use to catch fish with in the olden days, and I would LOVE to one day make it into a net, catch a fish in it and then cook the fish medieval style... I also have a sewing thread which I started just to see how thin I could make the thread. The finer the fibre you're working with, the harder it is to twist, so it's a bit more fiddly. This one I feel more ownership over, and I take it home with me in my pocket so I can have it with me when I'm not at work and keep making more and more thread. I don't know how much I will end up with by the time I get sick of working on it, and I don't really sew so who knows if it will ever get to be useful, but still, I find it kinda cool.

I also make threads that are in between those two thicknesses - these are usually the ones I start when I demonstrate twining to the public. I usually cap them when they are long enough to make a necklace out of, and either tie some sort of seashell or other beachside treasure I've picked up on the end of it, or I will try to whittle something, but I fucking suck at whittling so the latter usually ends up looking awfully childish. But I have given seashell jewellery as gifts to a couple of people this summer, and I wear a lot more homemade necklaces than I ever used to before. It's my personal fashion trend of 2022, I guess.

Okay, that's a rant! Now, I am very passionate about this, but it's not the kind of passion that seeks out and confirms facts, more the kind that picks up on tidbits and sews them together into a narrative, so for the love of fuck do not quote me on any of this shit. But yeah, I fucking love me some flax, dudes. It's my jam.

#flax #ask #soz life

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redwinterroses · 3 years ago

Note

rant warning ahead, i have a lot of thoughts about this au. it’s probably gonna get pretty sewing-nerd-y too so be prepared lol

first up: tools. i imagine that very talented stitchworkers don’t need tools, but most stitchers (or unstitchers) do. things like needles, looms, you get the idea. probably not real needles, more metaphysical, but my point still stands. there are all sorts of different needles depending on the craft and the user’s persona style. WAIT what about things like sewing machines?? like maybe they could exist but since stitching is yknow, illegal and all that, i’m not sure. idk but its definitely A Concept that would be very fun to dive into.

also! knots! if someone were to be taught stitching, (which i feel like at least one person on the hermitcraft server is currently being taught), i think that they would definitely start with knots. connecting two pieces of reality but only at the corner seems like a great way to teach a beginner. i think you probably could just use knots as your main form of stitching but it takes more effort. also also back to the whole “you’re either born with magic or you’re not“ thing. consider: a lot of people are born with it, but most don’t know they have the ability. theyve never tried, never even considered it because of how much it’s frowned upon. developing an ability you didn’t know you had takes time, but having someone experienced to help you along certainly helps.

obviously there are different types of fabric when it comes to stitching irl, so how would this translate to the AU? think how some types of fabric frays very easily, but how some doesn’t fray at all. some fabric rips, some doesn’t, some stretches, some doesn’t, etc.

different! stitches! are! definitely! a! thing! like backstitches are for bigger projects or stuff more likely to get ripped or unstitched because they’re more sturdy, whipstitches are for the finishing details or the edges of a project, (also for embroidery-style stitching), running stitches are more practical and less precise, etc. i would absolutely keep going with different stitches but i don’t wanna get too too ranty lol

strands vs. threads: another thing that people who don’t sew probably won’t know!! basically one thread has six strands and you can separate them depending on how thick you want the line of string to be. so like, 6 strand sewing is for big projects, and two strand sewing is for tiny in-reality adjusments. stuff like changing jellie’s fur pattern to mess with scar or drying a wet sponge. (one strand sewing isn’t a thing, your thread will rip. use this information how you will.)

patches! most reality patches are made of the same material as the original, but there are definitely some stitchers who prefer to make flashy noticeable patches made of way different material that stands out. put a patch of the nether in a spot where the overworld reality tore. you get the point.

different styles of stitching! i know this has already been brought up but i want to go more in-depth with it.

cleo’s stitching is ABSOLUTELY embroidery. there’s literally no question about it. i feel like grian stitches with both embroidery and knots. Im thinking xB felts. idk why. mumbo is probably still learning but i think he would mostly just use sewing. scar can practically do it all, he’s a jack of all trades type. his go-to is sewing though. i know you already said x and ex work best with knitting, but honestly i think crochet suits them better. zedaph probably works with lace-sewing best. (is there an actual word for that? i feel like there is.) stress weaves.

random thing that i just thought up: certain hairstyles are associated with stitchworkers, and can be used as signals. the most obvious one is a braid/braids, especially for weavers, because well. its practically just weaving except with hair. stuff like doing hair can also help people hone in on their craft because yes.

told you it’d get rant-y. this is the shortened version. i have adhd ok

i love this. i love many elements of this and will definitely possibly maybe sssstteaalborrow them. XD

#read this like it's an explanatory post from the stitchverse tumblr #also lacemaking terms change depending on the type of lace i think #you can crochet it you can knit it you can do tatted lace and so forth #overall i think it's just lacemaking tho #stitchverse au #redwinteranswers #long post

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batfoonery · 4 years ago

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Crafty Batkids

Literally. Just batkids doin' crafts. As someone who does..... way too many crafts to list here (I'll send a list if asked but just trust me) I feel like I've gotten a good feel for this.

Dick

My man grew up in a circus, regularly checking ropes and tensions....

Macrame. He's a pro at macrame. Maybe he doesn't do it often, but like. For his friends, he'll sometimes surprise them with lil gifts.

When any of his Titans buds move he makes them those fancy hanging macrame plant holders. Donna and Kori both love them, and have been known to fight over them during white elephant/dirty Santa type gift games.

Probably doesn't have the ability to sit still for long periods of time, so can't do anything that'll unravel if he puts it down. It takes him a long time to finish a project, so he really only buys materials as he starts a new one, and doesn't have any excess stuff lying around his apartment.

Jason

You cannot tell me he doesn't crochet to unwind. Like. Idk if he's any good at it, but he def angry crochets.

Probably has been working on one scarf for like five years

Never has consistent stitches

Likes touching all the yarns at the store

Probably just enjoys squishing the yarn in general tbh. It's slightly more satisfying than ever actually doing anything with the yarn.

Cass

One time Bruce took her to like. Silver Dollar City or somewhere else that had someone with a loom, and she was fascinated. She made him buy her a shawl and then made Tim put together a power point about why she should have a loom.

Bruce ended up caving and buying her one that's skinnier, for like table runners. It's great, because she's mostly fascinated with making gradients in her weaves.

She learned Swedish Weaving (it's a like an embroidery/weaving hybrid) so she could embellish her works.

Mostly gives them out as gifts. She gave one to Selina, who guards it possessively. Harley tried to borrow it once and about lost her fingers.

Probably also learned to make little tassles for the ends

Tim

Attention to detail? Obsession over the minutia? Oh. You know my boy is an epoxy resin artist.

Has a crafting station in his room that's meticulously organized. There's cubbies for pigments, flowers, glitters, bits of ribbons and strings, etc etc

Probably makes all kinds of thing tbh. Phone cases, trinkets, you name it. But pens are his favorites, because they're both simple and practical. There's like a whole army of pens that just... keeps growing in Titans Tower because he always forgets where he's put his.

None of his teammates realize he is the source of the pens. They (Kon, Cassie, Bart) just think the pens are an infestations and/or are pairing up and making baby pens. But Cassie and Bart love them bc ✨aesthetics✨

Probably has a tik tok or an insta where he posts videos of himself de-molding things to soothing lofi tracks. Literally just. All the vibes. It's gorgeous.

Steph

Also all the vibes. She is a bujo/stationary queen.

Her collection is much messier than Tim's, but has a surprising amount of overlap. Sometimes they borrow things from each other, and have collabed on their social accounts (he makes journal covers, she makes them into notebooks, he supplies her with pens, she uses them when making a weekly/monthly set up, etc)

Stickers and glitter everywhere

Probably sponsored.

Canonically draws cute little cartoons in the comics, they absolutely are a regular on her socials and in her bujos.

Duke

For some reason I don't peg him as being as craft-oriented as his closest-in-age sibs? He probably has less expensive coping mechanisms tbh

That being said I can see he would enjoy those stores where you go in and paint pottery and they kiln/glaze it for you? Like he isn't into sculpting it himself, but painting the little kitchenware pieces or statuettes is relaxing.

He paints mugs for all his sibs on their birthdays, and for Alfred.

Alfred probably has a whole army of custom mugs made for him by the kids, now that I'm thinking about it. Like half of them are from Duke, because he doesn't know what else to do with them. There are just so many because it's so simple.....

Kate Kane, Tatsu Yamashiro, and Jeff Pierce also all have mugs. Actually... Lowkey highkey I can see that Tatsu might have introduced Duke to this kind of stuff in the first place? I can see that she would enjoy something simple that you can do while trying to clear out your mind.

Damian

Well. Damian is a gifted artist, but this translates differently into actual crafts. It just does.

He's probably a good printmaker. Not only does this take advantage of his art skills and keen attention to details, but it's one of the oldest artforms still in practice today. Most printmakers develop their techniques by perfecting one of several forms of the art, which have been passed through generations, and have a really firm grip on art history. Those stories would appeal to Damian, in addition to the craft itself.

Damian is the most likely of his siblings to be able to sit still for prolonged periods of time and do a repetitive motion. In fact, it may actually be something he can enjoy if it means he can just zone out for a bit. So, he's probably actually decent at spinning yarn. If the sky is grey and rainy, he drags out a wheel and some pre-sorted rolags and spins yarn, exclusively for Cass, who then weaves it. He enjoys the progression of colors in the fibers as much as she does, and they bond over it.

The feeling of different fibers slipping through his fingers is also really soothing. Bad day? Time to spin some merino, because it slips like water through his touch. Need to feel grounded? Time to spin a cotton blend, because you have to be present enough not to chafe your hands on the rough fibers...

Probably also really good at embroidery, for the same reasons. Plus, it's really satisfying to feel and hear the pbt-psht, pbt-psht of the needle and thread pulling through the taut fabric.

Bruce

Obviously knows how to forge/metalwork. I like to imagine he's also dabbled in lost wax casting.

Probably has little trinkets he made when he was younger scattered around the house. Maybe he donated a few to charity auctions.

Has made rings/jewelry pieces. But doesn't talk about them. (One ring went to Selina, and a pair of earrings went to Talia)

Alfred

The all-talented, all-knowing. There's probably nothing he can't do. He already sews all their outfits. So I mean.

Sometimes it feels really good to have something to stab. I'm not saying he does needle felting, but I'm not saying he wouldn't.

Probably was the one who taught Bruce about lost wax, and the one who helps Damian research about printmakers.

Silently supplies all the kids with all the art things.

Has a chest in his room filled with all the things that he's been gifted with over the years. There's little uneven macrame hanging from when Dick was just getting the hang of it, lumpy scarves that are too short for anyone to realistically wear from Jason, linen sets made by Cass, various trinkets from Tim, handmade cards and notebooks from Steph, mugs from Duke, and old embroidery pieces from Damian in unevenly stained hoops.

#batfam #batfamily headcanons #dick grayson #jason todd #cassandra cain #tim drake #stephanie brown #duke thomas #damian wayne #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth

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pbandjesse · 2 years ago

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Taking Sundays off was a great call. Because I don't think I would have survived working today. And I got so much accomplished!! Even though I was tired and stabbed myself in the hand with my craft tools twice and my eye is a little swollen. I was still so proud of myself for all the things I got done.

I slept really well. Deeply. I don't remember James leaving for work but I woke up and texted them good morning.

I kind of had a mini melt down when I first got up. The online dermatologist said my psoriasis was to bad to treat with topicals but it's so much better then it was so I was super upset and sent two messages. One when I was really upset and one 15 minutes later when I had calmed down a little more. And he said we can continue with the topicals but it would be time consuming. Which I already know. And it really is getting better. The spots on my legs and body just get dark red when I get hot and that makes me feel very ugly and diseased. But it's not all the time. Mostly I feel a lot more comfortable and that is good.

I got dressed and had a half plan of what I would do today. I wanted to fold and pack my clothes for camp that James had washed for me. I had not brought home the extra clothes because there was not space in the car on Friday with PJ being in there. But that is alright. I'll deal with that this week.

So I packed my clothes and had some cereal. I played Stardew for a bit but I'm at a place again where there is so much to do that I feel overwhelmed. So I am trying to focus but also my in game girlfriend and my character are engaged now and it's a whole thing. But I played for an hour before I decided to change the plans for the day.

Instead of doing my art stuff first, I decided to do my errands. I got myself ready to go out and headed to joann's for yarn.

It was a nice drive with good music. And when I got to joann's a nice worker lady helped me find the yarn I needed because they were moving everything and it was a little confusing. I got a little overwhelmed with fabrics so I did not buy the fleece for the fruit and veggie project for the museum but I'll get to that. Just not right now.

I left there after getting to use two coupons and went to lunch. I had five guys and enjoyed it very much. And then off to the grocery store to get cat food. I tried to buy batteries but I couldn't figure out what one I needed, laughed with the lady behind me in line, and gave up. Just the cat food and then over to the thrift store.

I looked at dresses to find jumpsuits but no luck. I got tank dress I'm excited about and a white eyelet Tshirt dress, but the big find was my new bear foot rest!!! I have been trying to find one only eBay and stuff for literally years. They are always so expensive. And this was only $8 after the coupon I had. I must have looked funny the way I grabbed it off the shelf I was so excited.

I also found one of those old exercise machines that vibrates you and I was very close to buying it but I did not. Only regret it a little.

I went home after that. I was feeling good. And when I got home, while I struggled to get everything inside, I made it upstairs without breaking anything.

I tried on the dresses and started figuring out how to catch up on my knitting. I think I may have missed a day or added a day. I am very much not sure. But I will do better keeping track this week. Actually write it down and not just have James sort of do it. That got to confusing.

But I got all of last month done and took my picture of the month. And then I was tired and went and laid down.

I watched tiktoks for a while. Thought about sleep but did not actually fall asleep. James would come home soon and they were very very sweaty when they did.

They would join me in the ac. Before going to finish editing their podcast. I came and sat with them in their room and played Stardew for a little longer. And then James made us dinner.

I had to sew all of the ears for my bears. James flipped them all inside out for me and then I did all the sewing and I'm so glad I do it this way now rather then trying to make tiny ears separately and place them. This is such a better way of doing it. And after that was done I put on all the eyes and noses. Where I stabbed myself in the hand with the newly sharpened tool. Cool cool cool. Ugh.

I made some Thai tea to bring with me to camp and James made me angel food cake because they love me. And I felt happy and good.

Eventually I would go and take a bath. And now we are in bed. I am very tired. And tomorrow I must wake up early to go to camp! I hope it's a really good week. I am really looking forward to it. I hope you all have a great night. And a beautiful day. Sleep well everyone.

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alreadyblondenow · 4 years ago

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On and Off

Taeyong x ballerina!reader // FLUFF, SMUT, angst? idol!au Summary: The first few months of being in a relationship with Taeyong was normal as it could be. Exchanging text massages, dates, phone call from evening until morning. But as you dive deeper into the relationship and months turned into years, you realised that normal will be something hard to achieve. Word Count: 5k Warnings: Protected and unprotected sex, cursing, mentions of other idols, loneliness, anxiety, pressure, Note: few notes again hihi -Inspired by my one and only keshi - onoffonoff please listen to his music its amazing I literally only listen to him these past few days. -This is another part/story of my life, so I could only hope no one steals my work. Because this is inspire by true events, except the pregnancy part. And the good ending, mine didn’t end well haha

It has been years since you kissed Taeyong for a stupid dare, not knowing who he is and not knowing he’s a famous idol in his country. You were clueless, simple as that. Little did you know that kiss will literally change your life. Was it luck or was it destiny that brought Taeyong in your life? After kissing him that night he stick to you like glue insisting to spend more time together and drink and dance the whole night.

One thing led to another, and Taeyong just keeps coming back to you and you welcome him with open arms. Thanks to Google, you learned a lot about Taeyong. All the basic stuff about who he is, what about him and finally being a fan of NCT. Its funny how dating Taeyong over the years made your life complicated and exciting at the same time. You figured, maybe it’s because you’re crazy with each other that’s why.

Ever since Taeyong came into your life your heart is half and half. The first half is for your first love which is dancing ballet and the other half is for someone extraordinary, Taeyong.

The first few months of being in a relationship with Taeyong was normal as it could be. Exchanging text massages, dates, phone call from evening until morning. But as you dive deeper into the relationship and months turned into years, you realised that normal will be something hard to achieve.

A lot of adjustments happened in order to continue being together. For you it’s understanding that Taeyong is someone important not just to you and his family but to a lot of people around the world. Helping him sort out his thoughts while writing lyrics and listening to whatever he says to you. Stay with him at the studio even if means burying yourself at the studio couch and binge watch Netflix while waiting for him to finish recording. For Taeyong, his love language is massaging your sore feet from ballet practice and picking you up every night after his work. Watching your performance giving his full support, emotionally and physically.

You’re each other’s number one fan.

OFF

During ballet practice today, your toes are already bleeding from hard work which something you don’t regret on doing. But the company was having an earful from the director tonight, never ending “do it again” and “from the top” everyone wanted to cry. Good thing Taeyong will pick you up after ballet practice, finally something to look forward to. Or so you thought.

It’s already 9pm, practice was dismissed half an hour ago and Taeyong still hasn’t come yet. The rain is pouring outside and your feet and toes needs to rest. You’ve left a dozen messages to Taeyong already but still, no answer. Before you decide on waiting a little more, his manager called you to tell you that Taeyong forgot to pick you up tonight and that he can’t leave anytime soon. You don’t have a choice but to take the subway and walk under the rain with your small umbrella. Your wet flats makes your bruises even worse, you feel the pain every step you make but the thing that’s even more painful is Taeyong didn’t picked you up when you needed him the most. You can only let out a string of curses here and there and cheer yourself to keep on walking.

When you finally got home you went straight to the bathroom limping and cleaned your bruises. Too tired to even stand up, you still have to make your shoes and sew a little bit for tomorrow’s practice. Still thinking about how heavy your day was, you sat in front of the mirror while sewing and waiting for Taeyong to come home.

After preparing everything you need for practice tomorrow, you head to the kitchen and made dinner for Taeyong. Maybe he’s hungry when he got home? A few minutes later, you heard the door beep. Taeyong startled you and hugged you from behind, you already sensed something is off. “Sorry about earlier” Of course you wanted to ask him but you didn’t want to pry, he looks exhausted as you are.

He kissed you good night on the forehead not even letting you to kiss him back as he walks towards your shared room and change. That’s it? He’s never like this and you wonder why, you reflect on the past days but all you can only recall are days full of laughter with him.

The morning after, you were at the kitchen making your green smoothy when the same arms from last night encircled to your waist. Familiar kisses landed to your cheeks and neck, “Good morning” Taeyong greeted you with a raspy voice, his chin rests on your neck. “I’m sorry about last night, I forgot to pick you up and… our come back has slow process, everyone doesn’t look good” you wanted to throw a fit and push him away but you know that Taeyong loves his work, and if he said that something is wrong, something is indeed wrong.

You turned around and hugged him back, giving him one big bear hug, “I’m not mad anymore. But, I have to go now I’ll be late-“ to your surprise he kneels in front of you completely pissed off because of your toes. “I think you should skip practice today - I can’t believe I let you go home alone last night with those feet” it’s not nice to see Taeyong so annoyed and pissed early in the morning. But you know you can’t skip practice today, “I’ll go home early if you can make it up to me today” it’s the only reasonable deal you could make, and you can only hope he’s up for it. “Will do” he kissed your lips, “I love you. I’m sorry, this will never happen again” you believe him.

And he did make it up to you. He made lunch and got an early out from working with his music. Not only did he cooked for the both of you but he cleaned the whole apartment which you thought wasn’t necessary. He made kimchi stew and kimchi fried rice, with a table full of laughter brought to you by your boyfriend and a bottle of wine from Johnny.

After eating lunch and cleaning up, you and Taeyong found yourselves in the middle of the bed tipsy and incredibly clingy with each other. “Wow you changed the bed sheets” you noticed and gave him a wink, “very gentleman of you” he giggled as he lay beside you.

The weather is gloomy like yesterday, but what happened yesterday seems to be erased already. The gloomy weather made the room blue, cold and comfortable. Taeyong’s arms are around you enjoying the warmth you share “I love days like this” he whispers, “You’re my escape from everything that’s happening in my life now. It’s like when you look inside my brain everything seems to be loud and out of order, but there you are calm and just being you” he sniffs your hair, pulled you closer and kissed you deeply as always. “Is this why you changed the sheets?” you playfully asked, he hovers on top of you slowly removing your shirt and tugging down your pyjama “Mhmm”

The cold weather and the low temperature of the air condition made you shiver both. Skin to skin, lips to lips and hands all over each other’s body. Taeyong is never rough with you when it comes to sex, it’s always passionate sex with him. But as gentle as he is during sex, he can’t get enough of you and one round isn’t enough for him. Sometimes you can only cry whenever he ask for you to cum one last time… after having seven already.

“How many rounds can you give me tonight?” Taeyong asks in between open mouth kisses, you noticed he’s hungrier than usual. Then you remembered, you haven’t had sex for the last three weeks for sure he’ll never go easy on you. You clear your throat before answering his question, “Five?” he scoffed. “How about ten? Five in my fingers and mouth and five more with my cock inside you and vibrator on your clit, hmm?” he spreads your legs without waiting for your answer, assuming that you’re fine with his plan already. “Hold my hand, squeeze it so I know I’m making you feel good okay?” you nod with a smile, you’re already turning red because of the building heat up on your body.

Holding both of his hands as he goes down to your sex, he licks your cunt slowly from the bottom to your clit. Making you moan softly and your legs quiver, “Tae-“ you sound like you’re out of breath as you chant his name over and over again. Squeezing his hand from time to time whenever he hits a good spot, spreading your legs even wider to make it feel good even more and grinding your hips to his tongue as he licks your cunt with a steady pace. “Ooh - Mmm, right there Taeyong yeah” you moan louder than earlier and you start breathing heavily. Closing your legs a bit and squeezing Taeyong in between your legs, you cum for the first time tonight.

Taeyong didn’t expect you’d cum so fast already “Still okay?” he asks as he crashes his lips on the valley of your breast all the way up to your lips, tasting a bit of yourself. You encircle your arms around him, keeping him closer to your body still weak from your first orgasm. “What, you want me to fuck you already?” he let out a sweet laugh before looking straight into your eyes. You nod.

As he rolls the condom to his cock, you’re quick to spread your legs for him. “Oh so now you’re spreading your legs for me after squeezing me earlier?” the vibrations of his giggle tickles you as he kiss you before lining his cock to your cunt. He didn’t stopped kissing you even when he’s already balls deep inside you.

“Tae let me breath” you asked of him. As you catch your breath for second, he rolled his hips a little which made you moan and roll your head back, “Sorry, I crave for you baby” he apologise with heavy breaths, hips still rolling slowly, cock stretching your cunt.

You encircle your arms around his neck pulling him closer again, “Come on Tae” you lick his lips, “I owe you nine more rounds” his pace changed a little bit faster, “Can I be rough tonight?” he grabbed you waist a little too harsh it surprised you. He gave you hard thrust that hurts so bad but it it feels good at the same time you arched your body and cum for the second time tonight. Taeyong was the first one to come down from his high and licks your nipples while cradling your arched body, watching you breath heavily and smile as you go down from your high. “Fuck Tae, I didn’t know you had it in you” he’s still licking and biting your boobs while waiting for your body to stop shivering like crazy. “Told you I crave for you tonight” and he slaps your ass and flips you on the mattress.

After that night, the following days were sweeter than ever and the sex became rougher, “no more vanilla sex” Taeyong says. Every night, you both look forward to seeing each other after a long day at work and finally releasing stress in bed together. You like to think that having rough sex every time made Taeyong even sweeter to you. Not that he’s not sweeter before, it’s just that now Taeyong is even more sweeter.

Last night when he’s in the middle of choking you while fucking you on the edge of the bed, he told you “You’re so beautiful, never leave me” and that damn made you blush you almost explode.

This morning, he wanted to skip work just to cuddle with you for the rest of the day. Even though he has multiple schedules today, he has studio work, dance practice and salon appointment. “Taeyong we could cuddle when you we get home” he whines and hovers his legs over yours, locking you in an embrace. “Five more minutes then, kiss me please” and you kissed his pout away.

The following night, he gave you a nice massage not just your feet this time, but your whole sore body. “Ugh baby, that feels good! Where did you learn all this” you mumble while you’re on your stomach, eyes closed and enjoying Taeyong’s massaging skills. “This is how they massage us whenever we have sore bodies during our concert tour” he answers, gliding his hands at your back putting a little bit of pressure.

OFF

One night, you came home from ballet practice really exhausted, tired and sore you can’t even move properly. You decided to sleep early and have a long rest but you forgot to tell Taeyong. Deep in your sleep already, you didn’t notice him when he arrived. Although you felt the bed move and you can smell Taeyong’s familiar scent, you didn’t quite catch what hes doing though. A few minutes later you felt a sting on your nipples only to find out that Taeyong is lapping on your boobs, your sleep wear rolled up to your neck.

“Baby - stop please you’re hurting me” Taeyong immediately stopped and rolled down your top, “I’m sorry - what’s wrong?” he came closer to you with a slight panic you.

“Please stop” your tone was a little bit angry but deep inside you’re not, you’re just tired. He didn’t say a word or do something after that.

Sometimes Taeyong can overthink too much. He’s a soft man on the inside so he can get really hurt with only a few words. He overthinks too much that he already thought you’re getting tired with him, that you don’t love him anymore. He wanted to wake you up and talk to you but he’s scared you’ll get mad like earlier.

Scared to have a fight with you or even a small argument, Taeyong always leaves for work just before you wake up. The come back is getting near and he’s been pouring all his time and energy to his schedules.

You: Taeyong, you left again without saying good bye? That’s not normal, are you okay?

All you can do is send him messages before he buries himself in dance practice and also trying to reach out through phone calls but it never last longer than three minutes. It’s been days since he’s not paying attention to you and you’re starting to think that asking for attention is inappropriate at a time like this.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” you hugged him as he lay in bed beside you, tired and pissed because their manager is being a bitch during practice earlier. He doesn’t say a word to you. But you wanted to reach out and it seems like you both could need a talk.

“Tae-“ he cuts you off, even before you could even start.

“It’s not fair that you can get some rest whenever you demand it, I cant. I have an early schedule tomorrow. I’m tired, good night” and faces away to you.

That was the answer to all of your questions. He’s tired and you’re his greedy girlfriend who want his attention always. You constantly blame yourself why Taeyong is acting this way to you. Of course it’s a misunderstanding, but nonetheless it still hurts.

The both of you gone cold for a whole month, Taeyong needed to stay at the dorms and you’re left at the apartment alone. It’s not that the relationship was over and he left you alone, but that’s exactly what you feel. You’re lucky if you could get a phone call from Taeyong once a week but all you get is good morning and good night messages. It feels like your relationship with Taeyong became an imaginary relationship, like the one you used to have with Zac Efron during High School Musical.

Suddenly the apartment that you shared with him feels so big for you and you feel so lonely every night. He’s not your Taeyong anymore and this went on for almost three months, you couldn’t believe what’s happening. All you know is they’re promoting two albums back to back and that their schedules are jam-packed. You need to understand and adjust.

You have your own life you can’t stop living your life just because Taeyong is not with you at the moment. Theres an up coming audition for the main part of this year’s season, and you want to focus on perfecting your audition piece and give it your hundred percent. Which is much easier if Taeyong is here supporting you.

Asking for a breakup and moving out from the apartment is something that will not make the situation easier. So you decided to get on with your life for the mean time, and break up with Taeyong after his busy schedules.

After their two come backs which are both successful, Taeyong of coarse came back to your life. Although this time you’re the one preparing for something big now still, he tries to make it up to you. You on the other hand, is tired of being lonely and sad you just miss Taeyong’s touch and presence in your life. The break up plan was long gone the moment Taeyong showed up on the exact date of your auditions. You decided to give it another shot.

He waited for the auditions to finish and brought you a bouquet of flowers, he has dark blue hair now and you almost didn’t recognise him from afar. “Aw, Taeyong you didn’t have to” you hugged him and received the beautiful flowers, “It’s a congratulations and I’m sorry bouquet” he says shyly. You know exactly what he’s talking about. It feels so good to be coming home with him again, the apartment suddenly gain back it’s normal joyous vibe now that Taeyong is home.

Now that everything seems normal again, the bed is not cold anymore. You’re laying in bed between his legs, your back feels comfortable against his chest “I promise to never leave you again like that” you almost teared up because of what he just said but you’re tired of crying already. All you wanted to do now is be close to Taeyong, make up for lost time, and kiss him. So you did, you turned your back and faced him. Gave him a peck, just a peck and went back to your previous comfortable position.

“Really? Just a peck?” he tickled your sides until hes kneeling on the bed and you’re out of breath from laughing so hard, trying to make him stop by catching his hands. “Okay! Fine!” you’re both still giggling, “Few seconds, wait let me catch my breath first” he tickled you again but this time it’s your feet, you scream so loud and laughed so hard your tummy hurts.

The moment Taeyong stopped because he got tired, you came over to him and kissed him passionately. It felt like your first kiss with him, you’re sure fireworks were lit up the sky the moment your lips touched and your tongue swipes on his bottom lip. “Happy?” you whispered. He goes back to kissing you deeply as he answers no, I will never get enough of you. His lips go down to your covered breast from the layers of your shirt and bra, gently kneading them and hesitating to continue what he wants to do.

“What’s wrong?” you noticed somethings bothering him.

“The last time I removed your shirt, you got mad” he smiled awkwardly and stopped what he’s doing. Now you’re on his lap, needy and wet. He can’t do this to you, no, not tonight. You removed your shirt with a swift move and unclasping your bra throwing it somewhere. “Since when are you allowed to be shy around me, Taeyong? I’m yours remember?” you felt him nod and you felt his bright smile in between hungry kisses and removing each other’s clothes.

“Want to ride me tonight?” he slaps your ass while slowly laying you both back in bed and hovers on top of you.

“How many rounds do you want tonight?” you quickly made the switch to answer his question.

“As many you want” that’s new, you thought. He never made you in control before and you don’t know why you’re blushing in front of him right now. He giggles and put your hair away from your face, “What? Why are you blushing?”

You point around at his face and ruffled his hair, “this is not normal. What have you done to my Taeyong?” he tried to tickle your side again but you caught his hand and intertwined it with yours and put them on your lap making him behave.

“I just figured, I never let you do what you want when we have sex. I’m always the one tiring you and shit” he breaths in, and breaths out sharply, “Even in our relationship, I’m always the one making you sad and exhausting you-“ you kiss him before he says something that will make you cry and completely kill the vibe.

“How about we fuck without condoms tonight, hmm? You like that?” you suggest with a devilish grin, confident because you started taking pills.

“Wow- that would really -“ he can’t form his sentence well, “I am, huh - you sure about this? pull out?” you kissed him again made him grab your boobs, “pill” you grabbed his cock without warning and pumped it a few times, he let out a loud groan when he felt his head slowly pushing in your cunt. His rambling from earlier were replaced with loud moans and sharp gasps whenever you roll your hips a little faster.

“It feels like were having sex for the first time again, yeah?” you can only nod, busy from making Taeyong feel good beneath you and using his cock to go off.

The night became warmer for the both of you after sharing the experience of your first time having sex without a condom. Taeyong freaked out when he saw his cum drip from your cunt for the first time and it made him horny just minutes after he came inside you for the first time. “Let’s go another round babe” he asks so sweetly every after round you finish. His stamina always amazes you.

And for the first time after for so many months, you felt that his ‘i love yous’ are true and sincere. It feels like he’s saying it for the first time again.

“I love you and I’m sorry for leaving you”

“I love you, please let me in your life again”

“I love you, you’re the one for me”

“I love you please forgive me”

The next day, a text message woke you up really early. It’s the results of the audition from yesterday and sadly you didn’t get the part you auditioned for. The part you got was decent, but it hurt you knowing that you’re not enough for the part that you’ve wanting do ever since when you’re a little girl.

Your silent cry and muffled sobs woke up Taeyong up with a slight panic. “Fuck - are you hurt? Does anything hurt?” he thought you were crying because of last night. You shook your head and showed him the results.

Taeyong is quick to put you in his arms and comfort you. It’s everything you needed. “I want you to acknowledge your skills, you’ve gone so far and you did it by yourself take credit for that” he runs his delicate fingers through your sex hair from last night. “I’ll be with you all throughout the process. Please stop crying, I hate seeing you cry”

Of course Taeyong took care of you like you’re one of his members. Gave insightful comments every time you show him a video of you from practice. He gave out helpful criticism that made you want to push more and work even harder.

On days that you just need your boyfriend and you’re so tired from dancing, he will always sing for you and make you laugh until you feel better. He even showers with you whenever you’re too sore to even scrub your own body.

“Taeyong,” he hums while massaging your feet from the other side of the bath tub. “Thank you”

“What for?” he asked kissing your feet before taking the other one.

“I just want to thank you. I feel like I haven’t been thanking you enough for everything you’re doing for me” you’ve never felt so shy in front of Taeyong. He crawls in between your legs, giving your lips a quick peck and going back to his comfortable side.

“I’m your boyfriend, it’s my job to take care of your sexy ass” he tickled your feet and you let out a soft, “aw” because your muscles ache whenever you move too much. “I’m sorry, I forgot, I’ll get your towel” you laugh at how he panics.

OFF

The most awaited ballet season of the year is during Christmas and you’ve been working your ass off during ballet practice. Two months have passed during the preparation and in two weeks time the performance will take place. All you wanted to do is dance and be perfect. You’ve got thinner because of the company diet but somehow you felt weaker so you overthink and practice more.

Not to mention that you and Taeyong were fighting like crazy these past few days because he can’t get a hold of you. He thinks you’re overworking yourself and soon you’re going to hurt yourself if you don’t rest sooner or later. It’s not that he’s wrong, actually he’s right in so many things. But he can’t understand the pressure you’re in, your constant want to prove your company director that you have something special and that you’ve improved a lot.

“If you get hurt before the big day, that’s a bigger loss. Everyone from your company is taking a rest on weekends, I know because were on the same field. Baby please listen to me, rest and come to bed with me” Taeyong begs.

“You don’t understand what Im going through Taeyong because you’re perfect! You’re your company’s favorite idol how can you understand what I’m going through” you probably hurt him with all those words but you’re just angry, annoyed and frustrated all at the same time you couldn’t stop yourself.

“I just wanted take care of you, that’s all” and he leaves your studio without another word. You only got mad to yourself even more for being so harsh to Taeyong. Admitting that you’re wrong you weakly removed your shoes and contemplate for some time.

Later that night, you found Taeyong sleeping on the couch without any blanket and you can tell that he’s cold. You walked quietly to your shared room and grabbed the blanket that you two always share. Slowly and gently, you snuggle beside Taeyong on the couch laying comfotable beside him. His arms automatically pulled you in closer to him, you can’t believe the patience this man holds.

“You awake?” you whisper softly, trying to stop your tears from falling.

“I already forgive you” he already knew that you’re going to apologise.

“Then what are you here? Why didn’t you wait for me in bed?”

“Hmm. Well, theres a possibility that you will still sulk - Mmaybe you don’t like to sleep beside me tonight. Didn’t expect for you to come here actually” he softly explains, eyes still closed.

“You’re right I dont like to sleep beside you tonight” he opened his eyes, but you laughed the moment you saw how his face turned from soft to stern. “Oh your duality always amazes me” you boops his nose, “I’m just kidding. Come on lets come to bed-“ you were just about to stand up but he pulled you close again and kept you close.

“Lets sleep here for a change” he boops your nose and kissed you good night.

You woke up with a sore body because the couch wasn’t so comfortable for two people to sleep in for the whole night. It’s 8am already and you only got half an hour to get ready and head to practice.

When you came in late, you got additional three hour practice as your punishment today. Taeyong will surely get mad when you get home. Besides being late today, you also forgot to put on bandaids from the bruises you got from last night and now your feet will surely bleed.

At the end of the day, you’re right Taeyong did got mad because of the extra practice hours. You were so tired you didn’t even spare a word for him and head straight to your shared room to sleep. You didn’t even bother changing clothes and just closed your eyes and drifted.

Thankful that the next day is rest day, you woke up with clean clothes and tended bruises. He came in with a breakfast tray careful not to spill the coffee, “Good morning superstar” he kissed your temple and sat on his side of the bed.

“Before you say anything, I’m sorry” he grabbed your hand and kissed your knuckles, “You were tired last night and all I did was shout at you when it’s my fault in the first place” he kissed it again and you were speechless the whole time, “We will never fight again, I promise”

The most awaited performance was great, Taeyong watched with Doyoung and they both cried seeing you dance on stage. Your heart is filled with emotions and you feel so accomplished because all of your hard work payed off well. The director noticed your big improvements and promised to give you more opportunities on the next season.

After this year’s ballet season, everything went back to normal with Taeyong. No more fights, and more room to talk to each other. More love making and less rough sex. Do new things with Taeyong every month including understanding the world of kpop.

It has been years since you kissed Taeyong for a stupid dare, and you’re still crazy in love with him.

Now you’re sitting on the tub, enjoying the warm water while you wait for Taeyong to come join you. He came into the bathroom with his favorite scented candle already lit making the bathroom smell like apple and vanilla.

He turned off the bathroom lights before joining you, sitting behind you making you in between his long legs. He pulls you to lay on his chest and gently massage your fingers tired from working.

“What do you think about, Jade?” You feel the vibrations from his chest against your back when he answers you, “Not bad. But lets have other options” you hum longer than before, staring at the marble wall of your bathroom while drawing circles on Taeyong’s lap underwater. “Elie Ruby? We could call her Elie instead?” Your new suggestion made him laugh, and you smiled because he sounds so amused.

“Were not naming our baby after my dog. I love her but, my love for our baby is different” this time Taeyong is the one humming, wetting your hair and putting bubbles on top of your head. “How about I ask the boys tomorrow? Besides we don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy” You turned your back to face him with a smile.

“You’re finally going to tell them?” splashing some water out of of excitement.

“Yes. Now go back to your last position, I want you to relax” and so you did, still smiling like a fool you feel Taeyong caressing your tummy underwater humming a song you’re not familiar with. Maybe he wrote a song for the baby. That was fast, you’re only 2 weeks pregnant and Taeyong already has a song.

“Im sorry for not marrying you first” ah marriage, you thought. Since Taeyong is still in his prime for being an idol, you both planned not to get married yet even though you’re dying to say “I do” already.

You felt his hands creep up to your boobs his fingertips feels good against your nipples. “Close your eyes” he whispered and tingles spread across your body in an instant making your lips part and let out an involuntary moan.

Hearing just the sounds of his sweet kisses on your neck slowly travelling on your shoulders. What he’s doing now is indeed relaxing.

Still kissing your body, Taeyong whispers sweet promises that makes your heart at ease. “I will make you happy. Every second of the day” embracing you from behind, admiring how you fit perfectly between his legs. “Just have more patience baby. We will have a happy marriage”

You don’t know how exactly to react with everything he’s doing right now. Taeyong is providing you calm with his presence but making you horny with his hands around your body. When you finally opened your eyes, you turned your back facing him again. Now its your turn to kiss him and show him love.

While kissing him slowly with lust and adoration, you grab his hard cock underwater and stroke it up and down. Closing his eyes shut he pulls away from the kiss to let out a soft airy moan and relaxes his head on the cold marble wall. “Baby” he gulps, “Dont stop” taking this opportunity to kiss his exposed neck, you’re careful not to leave marks. His moans got louder when he said he’s near, and in a matter of seconds you see the tip of his cock underwater let out white fluids. “You’re always making me feel good, do you know that? I was really exhausted from practice today”

After washing up and having a proper bath, Taeyong was the one putting on lotion around your body. Spreading the Shea Butter scented lotion he gave to you and putting some on his body. Not bothering to put on some clothes, Taeyong brings you to your bed and kissed every inch of you. “Do you wanna have sex tonight?” He asked, lips all over your body and his fingers playing with your wet folds.

“Just make me cum then lets sleep. Were both tired from work baby. You need rest. Lots of rest” you heard him say a soft ‘okay’ before you feel his lips against your pussy. And without any warning, he insert a digit while he licks at your pussy from the bottom to your clit slowly. Making you close your legs but his freehand is quick to grab one of your leg and puts it right above his shoulders, giving him a better angle. Licking you in an animalistic pace, you cum on his face your pussy earning a good kiss from him. That made you smile.

When he finally lay beside you, you dried your juices on his face using a tissue from your bedside. “I thought you’re tired. That was good” you said still panting. He hums and you see his eyelids closing already. Yeah he’s tired. You pull up your soft covers making him comfortable hoping he will get a good night sleep.

After closing the lamp light and making yourself comfortable beside Taeyong, he murmurs a sweet “I love you and our angel” before pulling you closer to him and finally sleeping.

“We love you too.”

................................................. Masterlist

So as I’ve mentioned to my notes above, it’s inspire by true events. Yes I’m a dancer, at least I’m used to be. Not ballet though but I have knowledge about it. My ex is a dancer too, and basically we’ve been trying to make it work even though we both have busy schedules everyday. And that’s basically it, we’ve been on and off and off and on just like keshi said in the song, “when we stop, we never stop” idk for me that phrase spoke to me like how you wanted so bad to leave in a relationship but you can’t because you always find excuses to be with each other until eventually someone stops caring.

I’ve been thinking about on posting this though, because my recent Mark fic didn’t get any recognition at all... and its the first time thats happened so I wonder why.

Thank you for reading!

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