#i know i can cope my way out of this i am stronger than that (<- cope) i just need time (<-cope)

[dabihaul666]

God I literally just need like to have a sick day or a few or something to just post and write to desperately finish that stupid fic before anything else happens

[entamewitchlulu]

Putting this as an aside to my last post, but I think this also explains why, out of everyone he interacts with, Yuuri's conversation with Dennis is much different than it is with everyone else.

Everyone else starts the conversation with antagonism, and Yuuri replies gleefully - because yes! This is how the game starts! You are mad at me or scared of me, and I provoke you back until you're so mad you have to fight me, and then I fight you and I show how much stronger I am than you and I win! :)

Dennis, though, is the only character to immediately be happy to see him. To meet him with genuine care and compassion and a desire to see him as a friend. Yuuri doesn't tease Dennis the way he did the others, because I think it throws him off guard. Like hang on. That's not how the game goes. You're doing it wrong and I don't know what to do with this.

It also seems like probably in the past, Dennis had never talked back to Yuuri either. "Are you sure you want to take that tone with me?" A warning that implies to me that up until now, Dennis has always been accommodating. Things are going off script. Yuuri is warning him to get back on track. And this time, Dennis ignores him.

Because it seems like out of the entire cast, Dennis was the only one to get just close enough to Yuuri to realize that there might actually be a person underneath that dirty laundry pile of neglect, abuse, conditioning, and poor coping mechanisms, enough to even now think that whatever relationship they had in the past was enough to call him a friend.

And to mention Dennis too, from both the show and what we got from his event in Duel Links, Dennis thinks that he himself is the worst person ever who didn't deserve to be forgiven at all. But then everyone did. Every single person he hurt forgave him nearly unconditionally. So in Dennis's logic, if even he can be forgiven.... surely Yuuri's not beyond saving either, right?

And Yuuri....doesn't know what to do with this. So he gets touchy. He gets more irritable with Dennis than he does with anyone else. He loses his lighthearted "oh i'm such a stinker hehe" energy because Dennis throws him off balance. this isn't right this isn't how people are supposed to talk to him what do you mean actual human connection that's not real, this is a game, it's just a game, it's always been a game, what are you doing

I think deep down Dennis coming to Yuuri with genuine compassion scares Yuuri. Because no one's ever reached out to him like that before. That's not how he's supposed to be treated. But if he can be treated kindly...if people can care about him...

then does he even know who he is anymore?

[revehae]

two days ago, this blog turned two years old. well, that’s if you ignore the fact that i accidentally deleted my blogs this january. in spite of that, so many of you are still here with me and have been supportive even when i was quite literally losing my marbles. you guys have been patient through my periods of inactivity and reread my fics with the same amount of appreciation for them as you had the first read - if not more. and for that, i say thank you.

but i’m also saying goodbye.

just kidding! i was being serious for too long and so i felt the need to potentially strike some fear into someone’s heart for fun. anywho, no, i’m not actually leaving. not yet, anyway. there is so much more i want to do with this blog and so many ideas i want to share that will most likely carry on to the following year. so yeah, you guys are still stuck with me.

am i taking the two-year anniversary of a mostly k-pop tumblr blog teeming with dark, degenerate fantasies that ought to get me stoned by stubby, hairy ogres way too seriously? perhaps. but i’ll never forget what this blog means to me. i’m in a place now where my trauma is no longer something i feel suffocated by or bound to, but when i created this blog, i admit that there were still large parts of me that felt like i was “broken.” this was only possible because i found safe places where i could acknowledge it without fear of being judged, blamed, or attacked.

i realize not everyone has those places. one of the greatest delights i have is being able to own a blog where people with similar experiences as me are able to confront their pain in a way that makes them feel safe, comfortable, and most importantly, in control.

i went through periods of time where i wouldn’t even leave my room because i was so terrified of being subjected to the same nightmare again. i couldn’t go out in public, because when i did, i was constantly worried that someone was out to give me. this affected my relationships with my friends, family, myself, sex, the world - everything. it is a hell i wouldn’t even wish on Trumpington McDonaldton. or would i? just kidding. not really, considering his track record. but, back to the point, i know what it’s like to live in the dark. i know how unfair it is that someone can swoop in, ruin your life, and never, ever face consequences. meanwhile, you are staring at the consequences of what someone else did every single day. i know what it’s like to blame yourself. i know what it’s like to wish that things were different.

but i also know that as unfair as it is, as painful as it is, and as hard as it may be to accept, no one is going to single-handedly fix you. you have to be your own healer. you have to put the work in to build yourself back up and bounce back stronger than ever. i know firsthand how intimidating that can be, however, in my experience, the first step was not hiding from what i’d gone through. in a way that i originally never thought would be possible, writing and reading noncon fics was one of the most helpful ways of doing that. everything about this blog has been extremely cathartic for me. and the best part about it is that many of you have told me it’s cathartic for you as well, which fills me with a glee words cannot describe.

now, of course, my blog is not limited to Traumatized Individuals who had their brains rewired in the worst way possible via some negative experience - although i doubt you’re not still somehow traumatized if you religiously read my content. if you aren’t a victim of SA, you aren’t going to be crucified for reading noncon. it’s okay. don’t worry. but still, i will always support and stand up for those that are, even if they don’t cope in the same way as me. because not reading is also okay. there are so many different ways to cope with SA; i’m just happy to provide one of them to those that seek it out.

again, thank you all! thank you to those that have been here since the beginning. thank you to those that followed me this week. thank you to those who leave nice messages in my inbox, and reblog, and leave comments. thank you to my dearest sweet mutuals. thank you to those who followed me here from lisired and didn’t unfollow me when you realized i’m a little bit insane. thank you to those that read my fics over and over and never get bored! let’s heal together everyone. but let’s also be depraved and Scare The Hoes. and if you read all of this, i love you and i hope you get everything you ever wanted in life.

- with all of the love in the world, revehae!

[miss-menhera]

HELLO THERE!!! Trying to cope with OR UNDERSTAND Adam's death? The denial and "what ifs" just get stronger?!?!?!?

Me too tbh I'm fucking miserable

BUT!!!! YOU WILL FIND OUT THAT THIS SHITHEAD COMING BACK IS ACTUALLY MORE PLAUSIBLE THAN YOU THINK! (W.O.W!!!!)

I actually also have some pretty solid theories about season 2 in here so be warned.

(This is a bit different from my usual goofy post I might delete this and separate into parts since I talked about too much)

VIVZIEPOP MADE A COUPLE STATEMENTS THAT COULD BE GAME-CHANGING AND WON'T LEAVE US GRASPING AT STRAWS ANYMORE. I'LL DISCUSS EVERY GROUND THERE IS TO COVER AND EVERY COPIUM THERE IS TO INHALE, AT THE MOMENT!! (Might update this or make a new post if more comes out)

Ok so to start this off, don't be put off by this person's perspective, just listen to me. Vivzie talked to this fan at megacon and got asked if Adam was still alive, all she said was "he lives on in a way", I'm gonna take my delulu aside and the most pessimistic guess would be that someone (pfff lute obviously)avenges him or that his death has an everlasting impact that changes the story, BUT we already got that made clear, like that was pretty obvious already.

(It's made obvious by this scene, Adam's death created a whole other big problem)

(Unless what she means by it is that his death is honored? Like maybe we get to delve deeper into his history, but again i dont think so) SO I DONT THINK THATS IT, I feel like if it was either of the ones I mentioned she would just say "Nope, he's deceased BUT he lives on in a way" But ALL she said was "He lives on in a way" which is very different, although it could be she expressed herself badly or the person writing the tweet didn't quote it word for word. But taking it in the literal sense, this might be pretty much confirmation he lives. There's a way he lives right? So considering that.... could it be that after Lute took his halo,(which was also broken which often renders an angel as "fallen" by default) and left his body there, he just... like woke up as a sinner? Yes yes, I know everyone's been talking only about that, I'm not giving any groundbreaking revelations but I'm just saying that there's alot of options that open up to that possibility. Or who knows! What if he actually doesn't get reincarnated? What if he just wakes up with no halo, so no place to come back to or what if the ever-absent God takes notice of his death and fixes up his first loyal creation?

Besides that if they THINK Adam is dead, (hesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdeadhesnotdead)

They make these huge ass changes in tactics, and need to find another way to deal with what Charlie is doing; IF Adam actually becomes a sinner, and his life is super important to heaven... with evidence that sinners can now be redeemed... What if people like LUTE, or LILITH actually become allies of the hotel in an effort to redeem him? He WAS God's first, most loyal and favorite creation, HELL THE REASON HE WAS ALLOWED TO DO WHATEVER HE WANTED AND WAS BASICALLY IMMUNE TO THE LAW IN HEAVEN IS BECAUSE OF HOW MANY PRIVILEGES HE HAS, I don't think God would be too pleased with his soul dissipating or whatever the fuck. That might actually be a plot point, he's way too important to just be killed off like this, am I the only one who got that impression? He's the FIRST MAN, first man, the first man being THE FIRST TO DIE IN THIS SHOW IS ABSOLUTELY MIND-FUCKING AND ALSO A CRUEL JOKE anditskindafunny OF FATE FOR HIM.

Something else I want to add is that my personal take on it is that if I learned anything about this show, Lilith will show up in the next season and pretend to be an ally to the hotel, she will pretend to support Charlie and basing this off the theory that Alastor made a deal with Lilith to keep her daughter safe, he failed to meet the end of his deal. So now she's coming to take matters into her own hands after all these pesky men failed, (ermmm girlboss!!) Stop, and manipulate everyone in the hotel into giving up on the idea. Considering how she deliberately kept Charlie away from her dad her whole life, there's gonna be a whole lot of family drama. And we might see Alastor lose his shit for good. Still tryna figure out wtf does "Lilith thrived and empowered demonkind with her voice" if her voice is that powerful, and her words are just as powerful, we're gonna get 1. FIRE ASS SONGS 2. Mother Gothel ass song with Charlie, I just know it holy shit. Not to mention that they actually don't know that Sir Pentious went to heaven, Lilith definetely will know and won't tell anyone. Lucifer will definetely be the one to step up in the situation yet again. Anyway after I yapped my heart out about what I think will happen in this show, I just wanna say one thing.

There is this DUMBASS thing everyone in the fandom is talking about when someone says Adam is gonna be reborn as a sinner. "He is not gonna come back because he was killed with an angelic blade and Pentious was not" That is the most stupid bullshit I've ever read and if you genuinely believe it for a second, i feel sorry for u cuz how did your brain go and make this correlation?

Most of these people say that the show explicitly stated that Angelic metal SPECIFICALLY and just if it's metal, it can castrate a soul or whatever. Which is literally NOT true, at no point was it established that Angelic steel was the only thing able to exorcise demons. You really need just a bit of common sense to come to this conclusion, what makes the weapons dangerous for demons and angels isn't that they're steel specifically. It's that they're ANGELIC guys.. Have y'all seen Helluva boss at all?

There are blessed ropes, Angelic guns, Angelic bullets. These are just items that replicate the power of Holy magic. A PURE,HUGE, HOLY BEAM of unfiltered angelic power is not stronger than a little dagger infused with a fraction of it? Not only does that not make sense from the show's lore perspective, but using common SENSE that sounds even dumber. This is the only argument I can completely scratch off the lists of why Adam can't come back, and it's the most popular one...

Man you know what guys, after he died, whether he comes back or not, he's never gonna be the same again I just can't picture it. He's gonna be much more insecure, without a mask and not funny and goofy............. Or he is just gonna come back and go full joker. He just cant possibly keep being a light-hearted dark humor andrew tate stan after the most, first immature man in history pulled a gentle smile like that. That just can't be, like take a look at the way he always smiles to the last smile we saw him have.

THAT IS A CHANGED MAN YALL, THATS ANOTHER ENTITY 😭

I HIGHKEY DONT WANT HIM TO GET A REDEMPTION ARC EITHER :(( MAN WHY DID THEY HAVE TO DETHRONE THE LITTLE GUY, THEY RUINED EVERYTHING. One small little theory floating in my mind was that, what if the news of Adam being dead could result in some powerful overlord or even A SIN we've never seen or know the power of, revive him and have him work under them? Even if he actually comes back as a sinner, this little theory I haven't brainstormed much about could be explored.

But y'all know what? Let's say he's dead okay? Let's say he's dead dead, then what did they do with his BODY? I didn't see anyone dig him a grave, yet he died on the hotel, I didn't see anyone even move his body after the angels left. And we know damn well they didn't take him, that's too much of a big detail to leave it out unless they REALLY screwed up with the writing and animation direction in the rush to have the serie come out, but the animation has always been so detailed with almost unnecessary background details. I think they left it out intentionally to have that worked out in season 2, heard some people say it could be they just built the hotel over his body? But I doubt it. If so maybe he could become part of the hotel or just condemned to never leave the hotel in a.... a... ghooooost.... like form...?(Massive amounts of copium). Someone could argue his body just dissolved or something but 1. That makes no sense pookie 2. In the first episode they found the body of the dead exorcist long after it died, and we definetely know atleast it's head was still perfectly intact by episode 3. AND i also went back to check, after Lute takes the Halo they purposefully never show Adam's body, ONCE. Not once, not even as they show all the corpses on the ground as the exorcists depart. So that couldn't be it, one thing we know for sure is that Vivzie is definetely letting on there's something more to his death she doesn't want to reveal yet. It could be she's doing that just to leave it ambiguous to delusional theorists like myself,,,,,since my type of stupid is usually the kind of idiocy infectious enough to rot everyone's brain into pointless speculation based on minor details. Which definetely sells the show better AND keeps discourse and attention alive till more is fed to us, which in that case, very effective marketing strategy at the cost of everyone's mental health Viv! Good job, the prospect you might be giving us false hope cuz its good for business is really making me reconsider signing the christian mom petition to make Amazon prime cancel tis' demonic blasphemous show. (And yes that is a serious threat, I will even fund the petition with 100 euros watch what you write, i don't want any mammon ass marketing tactics pls)...... or... she just doesn't wanna spoil the surprise and im reading too much into it... BUT YOU NEVER KNOW OK?? I NEED TO EXPLORE EVERY SINGLE POSSIBILITY AND NOT LEAVE ONE UNCOVERED. I seriously think I've thought of almost anything-Except that he's just dead, we'll see his funeral in the next season and he actually makes no other appearance......... BUT THAT'S BORING AND I WILL DROP THE SHOW IF THAT HAPPENS! By the way kinda can't wait for Adam merch to drop, cus it means SHE STILL FINDS HIM RELEVANT ENOUGH TO MARKET HIM!!!......and i just really want to have physical objects of him...... But u know what guys Vivzie likes adam alot, he's one of the characters she retweets stuff about the most, along with Lucifer and Alastor. And she also kinda admitted to it.

NOT TO MENTION THERE IS MORE THAT PROVES ITS NOT OUT OF THE WINDOW FOR HIM TO MAKE A COMEBACK CUZ ALEX BRIGHTMAN(Adam's va) ANNOUNCED HE WILL BE IN SEASON 2. and I know he voices Sir Pentious too,(insane range btw wtf) but like i said if they're keeping it a surprise (Thats been pretty much confirmed, Vivz refuses to give too many details so she obviously wants to keep us guessing, which would be cruel if it was for nothing, and i think she knows would leave fans very disappointed) the possibility of Adam still being present in the show could work out.

VIVZ UNLESS YOU'RE A SADISTIC EVIL WOMAN YOU WOULD NEVER HOPE PEOPLE LIKED HIM IF YOU DIDNT HAVE BIG THINGS PLANNED FOR HIM, RIGHT? RIGHT? VIVZIIEIEIEIEIEI3IE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 GIVE US BACK OUR FRATBOY BEETLEJUICE UNSCATHED PLS NO MORE PAIN!!!

Also guys look adam actually changed out of that smelly ass robe and dolled himself up for the early extermination!!!!

[corroded-hellfire]

Prompt Day 16: Struggling

Word Count: 658

Rating: T

CW: Langauge

Summary: A letter from Eddie to you. Yes, YOU.

@corrodedcoffinfest

Hello Fellow Freaks,

So, it’s come to my attention that things have been a little rough for you lately, huh? Shit, I know all about that. I’d recap some of the misfortunes I’ve had in my life, but seeing as you read and write about me, I think you’re pretty up to speed. In fact, some of you have written me struggling as a way for you to feel better about your own. And I don’t mind that at all. That’s what I’m here for, anyway. I belong to you. I’m for you. 

You all bring me to life every time you click on a new story and choose to take an adventure with me. The fact that you want to spend time with a freak like me blows my mind sometimes. 

You know I was never cool or popular. Maybe you weren’t either. I honestly never gave a shit because I had the most metal people around me. I hope that you do too. But even if you don’t, you’re more than welcome to share my friends. All us lost sheep know what it’s like to struggle. 

And if you’re struggling right now, there’s something I want to let you know. It’s okay.

It’s okay that you’re struggling right now. We all do it and we all need it sometimes to help mold us into whatever we’re supposed to be. Sometimes struggle makes us work harder. Sometimes it makes us curl up in a ball and want to hide away forever. The curling up part of that is okay, but the hiding away forever isn’t.

You’re stronger than you think you are. Wondering how I know this, are you? Little known fact is that I’m actually a pretty smart dude. Occasionally. Anyway, here’s the answer: you’re here. You’ve overcome all the struggles of your past to be where you are now. And if you could do it then, you can do it again now and in the future. That strength is inside of you. I promise. Sometimes it just takes some effort and patience to find where it’s stored. 

Know what else is awesome? Not only do you have me when you’re struggling, you have the others who write and read stories about me. Because even if it doesn’t seem like it, they’re struggling with something too. Carrying the burden isn’t as heavy when you’ve got someone to shoulder it with you. Help ease one another’s loads. I’m trying so hard not to make a cum joke right now. 

It doesn’t matter if you’re in pain, so you want to write me in pain to cope, or if you want to read about me taking care of you and helping you through it. It’s beautiful how I can be there in any way that you need me. I’m there with you to celebrate, cry, laugh, heal, and even some spicier stuff I will not get into here. Even if I enjoy it very much.

No matter how hard life tries to make you feel like you’re isolated, you’re not. Hell, I hid out in a vacant house for a few days where not a single person knew I was. Lonely? Yeah. Very. There’s only so many cans of Chef Boyardee you can look at without wanting to start up a conversation with the guy on the label. And yeah, it did get to me at times. I felt that there was no one out there who would believe me or see my side of things. Goddamn surprise to find out I had way more people in my corner than I ever would’ve guessed. I just didn’t know it yet. That group of people is there for you, too. Even if you don’t know it yet. 

And I’m one of those people. If you ever forget that, all you have to do is start a new story, and there I am. 

From

Signed

Your Dungeon Master

Love,

Eddie

[mclarensangel]

Girls Night - Lando Norris x Chronic Pain! reader

warnings: chronic pain, feeling like a burden, gentle flirting between besties, McDonald's. let me know if you want me to add any warnings

What you didn't know was that Lando (and Oscar) were actually on their way back early to surprise you (and Lily of course). Lily knew the plan and was more than happy to spend some time with her best friend.

Knowing that your best friend was on her way to your flat, from hers a couple of floors down, you tried to get up off of the sofa. But a searing pain shot up your back making you yelp loudly. Letting yourself fall back onto the pillows to rest before you tried again, you felt your phone vibrate.

The texts between the two of you made you smile softly at your phone as you heard your front door unlocking. Moments later, Lily's face popped up by the door to the living room. "I'm gonna grab the quilt and pillows and then I'll be in," she told you before moving towards the storage room to grab the items. It was just mere moments before she was back in the room setting out the pieces onto the bed-like sofa. "so what shall we order for takeaway?" she asks once comfortable next to you. "what do you fancy?" you respond. Lily looks at you, wiggling her eyebrows as she responds with "you". This makes you laugh before holding onto your back as the pain returns with the movement. You turn your head to the blonde woman before responding "I wouldn't mind having you for dinner" trying to wink at her, but ultimately failing, making the pair of you giggle lightly. "McDonald's?" Lily suggested. Though you hadn't been friends for long, the two of you had become insanely close, becoming best friends in mere days when she moved to Monaco to the flat with Oscar just two floors down. You smiled at the woman, she had only seen you in a flareup once since moving here, the other flareups you had, you had hidden away from everyone except Lando as he had the short break between races. Another thing you didn't know was that Lando and Lily had been talking about you, she had been asking how to look after you best until he got back, and she had found out that you didn't eat much during a flareup. Hence the suggestion of McDonalds. "McDonald's" you agreed with the woman

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ynusername posted to Instagram

ynusername: Congrats to my love @/landonorris for getting P2! I can't wait for you to get home so we can celebrate together <3. And a special thank you to my bestie @/ lilyzneimer for keeping me company. The last picture is me and the loml lils btw.

user1: what a terrible girlfriend you are for not even going to the race.

-> user2: exactly! I didn't want to be the first to say it but if I was Lando's gf I'd be at all the races!

-> Lilyzneimer: with your attitude Lando wouldn't even come near you, let alone date you.

-> user3: TELL THEM LILY

Lilyzneimer: I'm so proud of you, bestie. Beauty and the Beast next?

->ynusername: live action or cartoon?

-> Lilyzneimer: cartoon obviously.

-> user4: what do you even have to be proud of? Of a lazy, selfish woman who can't even go and support her boyfriend?

-> Lilyzneimer: not that she should have to tell her medical conditions (but I have her permission to say this), but I am proud of her for coping with Fibromyalgia, a chronic pain condition. She couldn't make it to this race, because of a flareup. Would you have rather she forced herself to go and make it worse? If she went but was in too much pain so she looked upset, you'd send her hate. But if she doesn't go to look after her health, you send her hate? She can't win. but her friends and family know her, we know her heart. and we love her

-> ynusername: lils! ilysm. marry me?

-> Lilyzneimer: wheres the ring?

After watching Princess and The Frog and Beauty and the Beast, you ended up putting Tangled on. Unfortunately, you had to take some stronger painkillers and these knocked you out. Lily didn't mind though, she snuggled down with her phone, messaging Oscar and Lando to see where they were.

Lily had to stifle her giggles to not wake up the sleeping woman next to her.

A couple of hours later, the two men crept into the apartment, assuming that the two women were asleep as neither had responded to any messages. Two men shared a look and a smile when they saw their girlfriends cuddled together on the sofa, asleep and content. Oscar made the first move, taking off his shoes, placing them by the front door, and leaving his bags in the spare room. opening up his bag he pulled some joggers and a t-shirt before moving to the bathroom to get changed. Lando followed his lead, placing his stuff in his wardrobe, and pulling on some quadrant shorts and a baggy t-shirt along with a hoodie of his that he knew you liked to steal. It took them men less than 10 minutes before they were both standing at the living room door again. They smiled briefly at each other before moving to settle in next to their girlfriends. Champagne and shots could wait, this was the best celebration.

[a-lilypad]

@jegulus-microfic | april 5: slap | 1.3k words

a little theater rivals to lovers au where reg and james are double casted to the same role and james rips the only costume they have the day of regulus' opening night (cw: slight violence)

big big smooch to @ecstarry for the idea ily <3

A loud ripping sound echoed through the auditorium, causing everyone to immediately stop what they were doing, despite being in the middle of a scene. Even in the shadowed wings, Regulus’ expression was very visible and did not bode well for the rest of the cast. 

Or more specifically, for James Potter. 

Regulus’ jaw had dropped slightly, leaving his mouth agape, and a look of complete disbelief in his eyes. Shaking his head slightly, he seemed to come back to himself, shock morphing into an intense red-hot rage. It ran through his veins, replacing his blood, burning through everything in its path and was radiating from him in waves. 

Creating pure destruction and leaving only anger clouding Regulus’ mind, shown by the hardening of his eyes and clenching of his fists. 

He felt his nails dig into the soft flesh of his palm, nearly piercing the skin but instead forming harsh pink dents. Though they’d be nearly impossible to see through the already purpling bruises there.

Maybe Sirius was right and he needed to find better coping mechanisms… he could unpack that at a different time.  

At that moment he had more important things to deal with, such as James Potter, his theatre rival of three years, ripping the only costume they had the morning of their performance opening. 

“I can not fucking believe you, Potter!”

He started towards the horror-struck boy, stomping across the stage, and swung his arm with as much force as he could garner. The sound of the slap masked horrified gaps from the cast members on stage, but couldn’t hide the way Potter’s head flew to the side. 

Huh. Maybe Regulus was stronger than he thought. 

As Potter stared at him with an emotion he couldn’t quite identify, (because, while he knew Potter wasn’t the sanest of people, there was no way he was crazy enough to be looking at the person who’d just slapped him hard enough to knock him back a few steps with awe) Regulus shook out his hand with a wince. That had fucking hurt. 

“REGULUS!” his Drama teacher, Mr Slughorn, shouted. He had an annoying nasally voice that went right through him, he genuinely hated the man but he usually loved acting enough to let it slide. This was not one of those moments. 

“Wha-why-you” he rambled, hands frantically waving around “Why on Earth would you slap Mr Potter?” 

“He just ripped my fucking costume! We don’t have another, what was I meant to do? I can’t go on stage naked,” Regulus complained. 

He knew it was a bad idea the minute Slughorn had suggested Potter run through a final dress rehearsal. He was B cast! It was A cast’s night which meant it was Regulus’ night. 

Potter was looking at him strangely, his brows were furrowed slightly, almost as if he too was confused. He was staring at him with both reverence and irritation. Then in a split second, the irritation took over and he came out of his stupor. 

“You could have maybe, I don’t know, not fucking hit me?” he snapped, “it’s not like I did it on purpose!” 

Regulus scoffed, “You definitely did!” and stepped even closer to Potter, pointing his finger at him and pushing it into his chest, “You’ve been praying for my downfall since the second you saw me beat you, just admit it, I am better.” 

“ENOUGH!” bellowed Slughorn, Regulus had completely forgotten he was there, in fact, he’d forgotten anyone else was in the room with them. That was weird. “Both of you are to go to the supply closet and find something else for Mr Black to wear tonight, we’ll have something somewhere.” 

Huffing and sending Potter a death glare, Regulus swiftly turned around and stormed off stage, hearing Potter’s footsteps behind him as confirmation he was being followed. 

Great. This was exactly what he needed. Alone time with James Fucking Potter. He hated him. He had since the first time Regulus auditioned for a school musical in year 8. 

He remembered being so scared, he was shaking and praying he wouldn’t vomit up his organs, then Potter flounced in, all big hair and a cocky smile. He barely even spared Regulus a look before announcing to the other people in the room that Regulus would never get the part and he’d be stuck playing a tree in the background. 

He was right of course, Regulus had been so nervous he’d fucked his audition completely and had ended up not even having a single line. 

Potter got the lead. 

He vowed that day to never let Potter beat him to a role again, and so far he hadn’t, managing to get the male lead in every performance since. 

Ranting under his breath, Regulus continued listening to Potter’s footsteps, praying that he’d trip over something and fall flat on his face. Sadly, that did not happen and they both arrived at the storage closet unharmed.

Well, except for Potter’s face, a bright red mark was blossoming across his cheek. In his room, Regulus had a shelf of little trophies and awards he’d earned, but this was the most valuable. He wanted to take a picture of it and display it like a tapestry. He’d wanted to knock the crooked smile of his face for years now.

“What the fuck are you smiling about, this is your fault” Potter snapped, reaching forward to push the door open, having to bang it a bit, it had been given to the drama department after the lock had broken leaving it so that you can only open it from the outside.

“My fault?!” Regulus seethed, anger rearing up again as he followed Potter into the closet, “I’m sorry, did I rip the costume? Because, now forgive me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that was you!”

“I’ve said already it was an accident, god you’re insane”

“I’m insane? Are you fucking joking? I’ll show you insane” Regulus snapped stepping into Potter’s space.

The door slammed behind them and a loud click told them it had locked. 

Well fuck.

Potter stared at him for a second before bursting into laughter. Curling over, wiping away tears, booming laughter, while Regulus wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and disappear. 

“What by locking us in a confined space together? Great plan Reggie” he choked out, still cackling.

Regulus ran a hand through his hair, messing up the precise curls. “Don’t call me that!” then turned to start pulling at the door, desperate to set them free, but no matter how hard he pulled at the handle it wouldn’t budge.

“Stop laughing at me” Regulus mumbled, hitting his head against the door and groaning, the situation was embarrassing enough without Potter taking the piss.

The laughing trailed off suddenly and Regulus cocked an eyebrow suspiciously, not expecting to actually be listened to. Potter was gawking at him, eyes sparkling, his jaw dropped slightly. 

Narrowing his eyes, Regulus met his gaze, “What?” he sneered.

Potter slowly moved towards him and tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ear, his face fell from anger to confusion and Regulus was holding his breath. He wasn’t sure why. It felt like all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Their eyes locked and the world around them disappeared.

Then they were kissing, lips meeting bruisingly, and Regulus didn’t know who had moved first. It was desperate and hungry, tongues exploring each other's mouths and breathy gasps being shared between them. Potter’s hands threaded through his hair and pulled, causing his lips to part around a guttural moan.

He grabbed Potter by the shoulders and shoved him slightly, leaving about an inch between their faces, “This means nothing, I still fucking hate you” he mumbled into Potter’s mouth then he grabbed his face and pulled him in again and proceeded to practically eat him alive.

[itsabouttimex2]

saw the notifs that you posted and came running.. IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW CYOA LETS GOODJJRF Primal Moon was so good too!! rlly enjoyed the way Wu kong had that sort of forcefulness to him,, much love and i cant wait to see your next post!!❤️❤️❤️

Ahhh thank you so much! I hope everyone will like the CYOA- I’ve been plotting things out for a while now, and I’m super excited for it too!

And I’ve been working on Primal Moon for a long time now, so I’m really, really happy to finally get a fic of it out!

Wukong is one of the more demanding, pushy demons during the verdant lunar cycle. He’s been alone in the wilderness with his monkeys for a long time- he’s super excited to have a troop! Wukong wants to cuddle! He wants to groom! He wants to share his food! He wants group naps and shared nests!

It just so happens that this swell of love-seeking behavior comes with a severe loss of inhibitions that he’s never taught himself not to indulge in. And although he’s pretty reasonable in spite of all this… he’s still willing to severely crack down on any intentional disobedience within his ‘troop’.

Macaque is a loner, and he gets along just fine by himself- so the instincts that get brought to the fore are much less severe than Wukong’s. But he still has them, no matter how much he’d like to pretend otherwise. There’s a lot of embarrassment involved in these weeks for him, accepting and giving affection without even realizing it. One moment Macaque is trying to distract himself by reading, the very next he’s snuggled up to you/Wukong/MK, whining for scritches and pats. By the time the time he’s realized what’s happened, he’s already purring on his back, his tail sweeping back and forth in glee.

Poor, poor MK. This kiddo is going to despise himself when all is said and done. After a lifetime spent unaware of his true nature, the first Primal Moon he endures absolutely destroys him.

Usually people have a lot of time spent preparing for this event- even babies and toddlers are affected by the moon, so people can grow accustomed early. As you grow older and stronger you can resist the animalistic urges that rise inside, and some demons/celestials can even suppress their instincts almost entirely- with training and practice.

And guess who hasn’t had so much as even a day to prepare?

So MK goes from gold-hearted goofball to a damn near abuser, beating and pushing and throwing you around because his mind and body are genuinely brand new to this- he doesn’t know what else to do! He doesn’t have the years of acclimation that his friend and family have, the coping mechanism that they’ve learned to employ. And at the end of the week, the viridescence in the skies dies away entirely, leaving him free to see the entirety of what he’s done to you.

And he’s going to hate himself for it.

———————————————————————

Also I had to do a lot of research on animal behaviors for this AU- fun, because it’s my special interest- not fun, because animals are incredibly awful little things who sometimes engage in awful behaviors!

Like, male pigs engage in so much baby-killing. Just so very much. Very little in the way of parental/familial instincts. And unless I base him around an octopus, what am I going to do for Sandy? He’s a river demon- what instincts does fish even have?

[hestzhyen]

Chapter 49 Burnt Cereal with Milk Posting

Alright, dear void. It's time. I put on my powerscaler hat and turned on the stove.

Never ever let me cook again though- apparently I'm just as shitty at it online as I am IRL. We are going to Eye Scars at the temple next. Well, "we" meaning Hakuri, Uruha, and some fodder since the train fight DIDN'T HAPPEN. Yet. Is it too delusional to think that we could get the super cool stuff with Uruha fighting off the mooks somehow? Because damn, I was really looking forward to more than what we got...

It's alright though. I can cope with the power of even stronger delusions.

Wasn't there LITERALLY any better way to do this than pulling on Uruha's hair, Hakuri?!

Still enjoying the fact that Chihiro can yell out a random word and Hakuri will instantly understand his full intent. They don't have to plan shit- they just figure it out and it works.

Yeah, they both would know that "Centipede" is referring to Kyora's usage of Magatsumi's ability, but Chihiro improvising the move on the spot and Hakuri adjusting perfectly is awesome. Sad they're separated for now, but hopefully we get more of this stuff through the whole series. They're so busted when they work together because soulmate coding.

But this new Kuro technique is probably why John keeps pressing the assault and forcing Chihiro to act: he adapts and improves at an incredible rate when he's under pressure. Still don't know why John needs him to be extremely powerful and full of hatred for his plans, but maybe Hiruhiko will spill the beans. He's a chatty bastard who gets his jollies from extreme methods after all.

Fuck these guys.

Hiruhiko is the king of "it's just a prank bro, don't get so upset brooooooooooo" assholes everywhere. His origami powers are pretty neat though, I gotta admit. The editor's note for this week was something along the lines of "Uruha's will is also carried on [Chihiro's] blade"... I want that pretty face to get bloodied and beaten, man. I actually detest flippant long-haired guys as an entire character archetype so please let him have an agonizing death. I want to look forward to it no matter how long it takes.

Speaking of the Hishaku, do they have the world's freakiest training camp for new members or something? Ch. 32

Ch. 49

Literal bloodbath of a series.

This is the second time Chihiro's been blinded with blood in a fight. It's a cool and intelligent tactic but like, why? Use the wrong person's blood and Chihiro will die to some horrible infection or disease before those seeds of hatred can mature, my dudes. But I kinda wonder... Chs. 32 & 49 again:

Hiruhiko proceeds to taunt Chihiro like nothing happened after being violently stabbed out of a moving train.

There's something freaky about how the marked Hishaku members are totally OK with being skewered and losing limbs. Even Chihiro winces in pain when he's hit hard enough to lose his arm, y'know? Is it just because this is an ultra-violent action series and the villains need to stay threatening?

No insights, just pure glazing. This panel absolutely stunning... I can clearly see the motion and imagine exactly how it's happening. I held my breath in anticipation while reading this and was not at all disappointed by the gorgeous spread on the next page. God I love the fights in Kagurabachi.

Yet another "Hakuri needs time to recover" reminder. It's been constant since the arc started in Chapter 45... just for the dramatic tension, probably. I've already said my piece about relying on this particular tool too much, so let's move on.

As this site's #1 Hakuri Agendaposter, I think he's gonna be okay in the short term. We don't know if the Hishaku have accounted for him or not, but the focus right now is on the Bearers. He'll be fine. Surely. I can see him going too far to be "useful" and knocking himself out to transport Kumeyuri and possibly Eye Scar's blade- or maybe Hiyuki to their current location if Hokazono-sensei's feeling funny-, but no torture or suffering flags have been raised. Yet. He's just going to be running on fumes for a while...

Official Tier List Drop

Chihiro corrected Hakuri's "nonsense" estimations for all the powerscalers out there, how kind of him. I kind of went on a fuckhuge tangent here but I can't be assed to retake all the screenshots to post separately. So suffer (or skip if you're sane)!

But who could beat Goku?!?!?!/1/1 Obviously, equipped nuke bearers and Hiyuki are in a class of their own. A step down are uniquely strong fighters like Azami, Shiba, Hiruhiko, and John. Then there's the endless Datenseki fodder who are only scary when they're in a group and not exploded yet.

I don't give a flying fuck about who would win against Ultra SSJ Gigaturbo Pepsimaxx'd Goku. However, I do like it when there are clearly established tiers of power. NOT the graded tiers style where things are neatly ranked from coughing baby to hydrogen bomb, mind you. That is the laziest way to explain a universe's relative power dynamic. It also lets me know that the protagonist is going to single-handedly wreck the balance via powercreep not even halfway through the series (unless it's HxH, which only applies to one series: HxH).

I much prefer Kagurabachi's fuzzy approach. The stakes are clearly established: the Enchanted Blades and Hiyuki's Enkotsu are a Big Fucking Deal. They are incredibly strong and all the characters treat them as such. So Chihiro, Hiyuki, and armed Bearers are at the top.

Yet even within that small selection there's a notable differential in power between those who have mastered the weapon and those who haven't. Chihiro is hella strong, but Shiba let us know early on that he's still got a long way to go before he's truly formidable. We've seen Chihiro get bodied by Sojo, a genius who only had Kuregumo for a few weeks; he's in tune with Enten, but he's got a hell of a lot to learn about fighting strong opponents still. He's probably closer in strength to an Elite Sorcerer than a veteran Bearer like Uruha. (The whole thing about hardly ever fighting fully healed and rested up is also a sticking point, but not gonna digress on that.)

Beneath that tier are strong Elite sorcerers. Azami was noted by Uruha as being as "reassuring" as Hiyuki in terms of his abilities, and Chihiro put Shiba, John, and Hiruhiko on par with him. So I think it's reasonable to infer that the strength of their sorcery and their experience as fighters would put them so close to the Bearers in terms of power. The elite Kamunabi guards and task force, by comparison, make up for their shortcomings by working together as a team. They'd be at the bottom of this category -possibly another step below- individually, but their teamwork and experience put them much closer to a Bearer's strength. The Sazanami Tou would be in this category too despite mostly being off-screened by Shiba (he's just that good).

And then there are run-of-the-mill guys like the Trauma, Mud Clone, and regular Sazanami sorcerers. They're very strong compared to an average person but need those Datenseki shards to compete with the elites. This is the true "miminum strength" floor in Kaugrabachi. If you can't hold your own against a rando sorcerer hireling, you have no business being involved in the fights. Of course the Hiruhikos and Shibas of the world will outclass you horribly, but that's the risk you take when being unnamed fodder in Kagurabachi.

This high of a power floor is why I'm glad we don't see regular people like Hinao anywhere near the skirmishes- a sorcerer can easily manhandle them, and the fights Chihiro gets involved in are far more lethal than they can safely stand around to provide commentary for. This means all the insightful remarks come from the fighters themselves and only rarely an omniscient narrator, which is so much more interesting than listening to a non-combatant give a play-by-play. It's refreshing to see the fighting left to the warriors while the regular folks actually run away to safety for once, you know?

That's a key component of why the fights in Kagurabachi feel so different from other shounen so far. I don't need someone who's never thrown hands telling me how amazing Chihiro looks and explaining what he's doing: the author is showing me while Chihiro himself tells me what he's thinking. And when we do get third-party commentary, it's limited to providing vital context. We aren't wasting panels to glaze the fighters and explain everything in excruciating detail. We just see it play out and understand that yes, this is absolutely awesome and it works because of the quality of the composition. And because we don't need a door stopper of a novel to explain what each ability does (this is JJK shade, come at me).

OK, tangent within a tangent aside... where does that leave outliers like Hakuri, Tafuku, Ice Lady, and unarmed bearers?

Tafuku's sorcery has insane utility, but it looks like he himself doesn't get any direct combat boost. So he really needs a partner like Hiyuki to make the most of it.

I'd say he's probably in the Elite tier considering he has no issues dealing with the rank-and-file sorcerers and guards at the auction. He's plenty used to defending himself while Hiyuki wreaks havoc at least. So the combination of skill, utility, and experience make up for the lack of raw power.

So far it seems as though folks like Char and Ice Lady aren't much better off than non-sorcerers. In fact, we've only seen these traits cause a great deal of suffering at the hands of people who want to exploit them...

Their natural traits seem to provide passive benefits that can negate sorcery side-effects in specific situations (like the nausea caused by Shiba's teleportation in Char's case), but so far there's no evidence that they provide any advantages against actual techniques. They're below the minimum power threshold but a smidge above average civilians for now. This could change if we get more information and examples, though.

So Chihiro said, but...

Dude's still looking mighty fine to me.

If all the former bearers are on the same level as Uruha, then they're not truly "defenseless". However, they definitely do need help when facing Elites and many average sorcerers. They're probably in the middle of the "ordinary" sorcerer tier without their blades- competent against the minimum, but at risk against anything tougher.

So yeah. Uruha's not gonna get shanked by a regular non-magical enemy- he's just defenseless compared to most of the relevant combatants in this universe right now. And as soon as he gets Kumeyuri back, he'll be at the apex. He should be able to handle the trash still on the train just fine until then.

Potential Man incarnate

Hakuri's in a weird spot.

He's the first genius in his clan's 200-year history since the OG patriarch and has a huge amount of potential. Even in the wider world he's quite exceptional for having two sorcery abilities available to him. But the actual mechanics of how he allocates his sorcery and trains it are big unknowns right now. Hakuri's basically got infinite potential, maybe enough to put him in the same tier as the Bearers and Hiyuki. But will he have the time and narrative attention to get there? We don't know. He can't even use his powers without knocking himself out at the moment, so it'll be a while before we see any movement on that too.

He's off to the side with a big question mark over his head for now. I need more information and screen time of him fighting while rested to place him. Which reminds me, actually... Kazane's in the same position. He was supposed to be the trump card in the Sojo fight but lost his arm and most of his comrades before he got to do anything. So he and Hakuri can chill on the sidelines until it's time to see them in action once more.

Thanks for tuning in to the worst cooking show on Tumblr, dear void. Next up: Eye Scars, maybe! Chihiro fighting through the streets to get vengeance on Uruha's behalf! Uruha and Hakuri possibly also making an appearance! Stay fresh, bachibros.

[beegalactica]

Comparison is the thief of joy.

In a world where it seems like everyone else is doing so much better than you, how do you stop comparing yourself to them? You know it's unhealthy and unhelpful but you just can't seem to help it. Don't worry, I've been there and I know exactly what it's like.

Why We Compare Ourselves

Whether we're comparing our appearance; from our eyes to our hair, to even the shape of our fingers; or the grades that we get; the outfits we wear; or the person we are; I believe comparison stems from our insecurities. We may feel like we're not enough in our own right, so we look for people we think are better than us to justify it.

For me over this past week, I've been comparing myself a lot, and that's fine. I can be this confident and self-assured person, but I I still have moments where I don't feel like that - it's just how life works.

My first point of comparison was with a grade that I got in class. I got the second highest and of course, the first thing that popped into my mind was not how good I did on my own, but what I didn't do that relegated me to second place. Reflection is great for improving and bettering yourself, but you know that it has crossed the point into harmful comparison when you start to think: "I'm better than this person at x, y and z so how could they do better than me here?" We often resort to mentally trying to put the other person down so we don't feel so alone 'below' them, but that perpetuates unnecessary negativity.

My second point of comparison had to do with my 'love life'. There is a guy that I like, but we didn't work out, and now the thought of him possibly getting with someone else made me feel so low. It felt like a rejection in the worst way. It felt like the world was saying to me that "I wasn't good enough", not that the timing wasn't right or that it just wasn't meant to be. Obviously, I spent a lot of my time looking at the girl, thinking about all the ways she was prettier than me, taller than me, skinnier than me, etc. I started trying to pull her down in my mind, thinking of all the flaws that she 'had', to hide the fact that I was just insecure that I wasn't enough on my own.

But I refuse to let these events take a toll on my mental health and turn me into a bitter, jealous person because I know that I'm better than that, and I know that you are too.

How To Stop Comparing Yourself

To be honest, I don't know if I can ever get to a point where nothing can faze me at all, because I am human at the end of the day. What I do know is ways to cope and stop myself from spiralling as a result:

Accept the situation - accept the fact that it is what it is. I believe that things happen in life to teach me a lesson or to show me how I can come out of it stronger, and the first step in that journey is to accept that it happened. If things are meant to work out in the end, they will.

Plan your next steps - what are you going to do to give yourself peace of mind? In my case, I'll just have to work harder but also learn to congratulate myself more for the things that I do. I will also have to take some time to figure out why I have these insecurities and work on ways to uplift myself.

Affirm, affirm, affirm - I believe positive affirmations are amazing because who knows you better than you? If I say that I am a smart, hardworking person who is perfect just the way they are, who dares to tell me that I'm not? If I say that I am enough, how can anyone prove that I'm not? Sometimes your biggest enemy can really be your self-concept, but you need to train it to face setbacks and use them to further prove that you are above it all based on the way you deal with it.

Don't act out - don't become a hateful person. It can be hard because we think that it is the only thing that will make us feel better, but it makes us the same as all those other people who seek to pull others down to uplift themselves. Don't let a temporary event change your character.

Comparison is inevitable because the way that our world works is rooted in competition - who is the best? who is the prettiest? who is the smartest? But if you can answer all of those questions saying that you are, then don't let little things get you down. Life is all about growing and evolving, but don't forget to take a moment to celebrate your strengths and remind yourself of just how amazing you are.

You are enough.

I am enough.

[doumadono]

I’m really struggling with my borderline personality disorder. Like I’m feeling my split happening. I don’t have therapy until September. I don’t feel safe I am afraid I’ll blow up on my closest people because I’m getting so upset about people leaving me and it’s sending me into a split about how I knew they didn’t care, how they didn’t want me.

So I was hoping maybe Touya/Dabi where he sees you about to split, he sees you clenching your teeth and you’re snapping at anyone who talks to you and he knows it time to ground you because he could see how bad you’re getting.

There's more to us - Dabi x Reader

Warnings: mentions of emtional swing, f!reader Synopsis: as your anger and frustration teeters on the brink of an emotional split, Dabi unexpectedly becomes the comfort you've been seeking A/N: I'm truly sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging time with your BPD. It's completely valid to feel the way you're feeling, but remember that you're not alone in this journey. While waiting for your therapy in September, consider reaching out to friends who can lend an understanding ear. It's important to remind yourself that your emotions are valid, and you don't have to go through this alone. You're stronger than you realize, and with time and support, you can find healthier ways to cope with your feelings. Stay strong, and please prioritize your well-being above all else ♥ I hope this fic brings you some comfort

MASTERLIST

The cramped League of Villains hideout was filled with an uncomfortable tension that seemed to cling to the air, intensifying with every passing moment. You, normally full of energy and wit, were now a storm of emotions on the brink of splitting. Clenched teeth and tense muscles were visible signs of the inner turmoil you were struggling to contain.

The tension was palpable. The air seemed heavy with unease, and the atmosphere was fraught with the telltale signs of a looming storm. Dabi leaned against a wall, his azure gaze flickering over the scene before him. He had seen this before — the rapid shifts in mood, the intense reactions to perceived abandonment — it was all too familiar. He recognized the signs of a potential split, a cascade of emotions that threatened to engulf everything in its path.

You were seated on the edge of a worn-out couch, your clenched fists trembling and your jaw tightly locked as if trying to contain the turmoil within you. Your voice, usually soft and warm, was edged with bitterness and frustration. Every word you spoke came out sharper, like daggers slicing through the air, and the way you snapped at Kurogiri and Shigaraki moments prior made it clear that your emotions were spiraling out of control.

Dabi's lips pressed into a thin line as he observed you, his mind calculating the best approach. He knew better than to let the situation escalate further. With a resigned sigh, he pushed himself off the wall and approached you cautiously, gauging your reaction. "Hey," he said softly, his voice a soothing murmur that contrasted with the storm inside you. "You're wound up, and I can see that. But snapping at everyone won't help."

You shot him a glance, your eyes a stormy mix of emotions, and then turned away, unable or unwilling to fully meet his gaze.

Dabi could see the storm swirling in your eyes, a tempest of fear, anger, and desperation. He sat down beside you, allowing a few moments of silence to hang between you before speaking again. "I've seen this pattern before, and I want to help you through it."

"Dabi, just leave me alone," you muttered, your tone a mix of defiance and vulnerability. "Just fuck off, man."

He sighed, running a hand through his disheveled hair. "I'm not here to piss you off, yeah. I get it, alright? It's not easy. But taking it out on them won't change a thing. I just want to help ya out, okay?"

Shigaraki perched on a high stool at the bar, an air of nonchalance masking his observant nature. His fingers idly tapped against the rim of the glass as he watched the scene unfold, his crimson eyes tracking every nuance of your reactions. It wasn't often that he paid such close attention, but something about your current state intrigued him.

Kurogiri, standing behind the bar with an air of elegance that was second nature to him, observed with equal attention. As he poured the deep amber liquid into a glass for Tomura, he couldn't help but glance at you occasionally, concern etched into his misty features.

You scoffed, your fingers digging into your palms as if trying to anchor yourself. "Help? You don't understand, Dabi. Nobody does, so please, fuck off," your voice laced with spite.

A flicker of empathy crossed Dabi's features. He understood that feeling all too well — the sensation of being trapped in your own emotional whirlwind. He paused, choosing his words carefully. "Maybe I don't understand everything, but I've seen you fight through this before, Y/N. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for."

You shot him another skeptical glance, your expression a mixture of vulnerability and defiance.

Dabi's cool demeanor belied the concern that burned beneath the surface. He reached out, his hand gently covering one of yours, the touch warm and grounding. "You've got people here who care, but pushing them away is only making things worse, yeah?'

You shivered involuntarily as Dabi's fingers brushed against your hand, a sensation that sent a jolt of both surprise and warmth through you. Your instinctive reaction was to withdraw your hand from his touch, a reflex born from a mixture of nervousness and uncertainty. However, his touch was unlike anything you had expected. Despite the initial shock, his calloused palm felt surprisingly warm, inviting, and oddly comforting. The contrast between your initial reaction and the reality of his touch sent conflicting signals racing through your mind. Your breath caught, a mixture of frustration, sadness, and desperation evident in your expression. "I'm just… I'm so afraid of being left behind. It's like everyone I care about is going to disappear, and there's nothing I can do about it."

Dabi smirked a little. The fear of abandonment, the sense of being unlovable - it was the hallmark of your condition. And as much as he was known for his aloofness, his stoic demeanor, he also had an uncanny knack for sensing what others needed. "I'm not leaving," he said firmly, his voice carrying a sense of reassurance that cut through the chaos in your mind. "None of us is. You're not alone in this, no matter how much it might feel that way."

Tomura's voice cut through the air suddenly, surprising you as he agreed with Dabi's words. A faint quirk of his lips hinted at an almost rare camaraderie between the two. "He's right. Sometimes, pushing people away only makes things worse. You're not the only one dealing with struggles though."

"Who knew I had it in me to be a motivational talker, huh?" Dabi grinned at his colleagues.

"Dabi and Tomura have a point. Emotions can be overwhelming, but they're also a source of strength if you learn to harness them. Control doesn't mean suppression - it means finding balance instead," Kurogiri added.

He could see tears forming in your eyes, a mix of vulnerability and relief. Your shoulders sagged as you finally allowed yourself to let go of some of the weight you were carrying. "I don't want to push people away," you whispered, your voice breaking.

Dabi nodded, his thumb gently brushing over the back of your hand. "It's a struggle, I know. But remember, you have control over your actions. Now, look at me," he said firmly, his voice carrying an edge that demanded your attention.

As you met his gaze, he continued, his words measured but resolute. "There's a wide range of negativity within me, yeah, a storm that used to tear me apart. But I stopped running from it. I embraced it, every jagged edge of it." His honesty was a stark contrast to the aloof facade he often portrayed. In that moment, his vulnerability was on display, a raw revelation of the internal struggle he had faced. "Embracing it, my inner demons," he continued, his voice steady, "it made me more focused. More powerful. The chaos became my strength."

As if the dam had burst, your emotions flowed out in a torrent. Your shoulders shook as tears fell, a mixture of pain and relief.

Dabi's arms wrapped around you, holding you gently but firmly, providing the anchor you so desperately needed. "I've got you."

You leaned into his touch, a mixture of exhaustion and relief washing over you. The storm within you hadn't completely dissipated, but Dabi's presence had provided a lifeline, a reminder that you weren't alone in this battle.

As the minutes ticked by, the tension in the room gradually began to ease. Dabi remained by your side, offering a quiet and unwavering presence that served as a stark contrast to the chaos you had been feeling. Slowly, your jaw unclenched, and the tightness in your chest began to subside.

"You know," Dabi said with a faint smirk, "I'm not exactly known for being the comforting type."

A small, genuine smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "No, you're not."

He chuckled softly, his eyes meeting yours with a spark of understanding. "But maybe I've got more empathy than I let on."

Tomura downed his drink, his lips curling into a faint smirk as he watched you and Dabi. As Dabi's fingers brushed against your skin and you leaned into his touch, Tomura couldn't help but let out a low, almost mocking "awwwww" sound. His voice held a mixture of amusement and teasing as he observed the unexpected camaraderie between you and Dabi. "Look at that, Kurogiri," he remarked, his smirk deepening. "Who knew Dabi could be someone's emotional support? It's like a twisted version of a feel-good movie."

"Maybe," Kurogiri mused, his fingers tapping against the bar counter, "there's more to us than meets the eye. More than just villains with quirks."

[fushiglow]

am i the only one who still thinks megumi is coming back???

let's talk about the 230 leaks!! once again, satoru proved he's him and i never doubted him for a second, but every week more and more people seem to lose hope for megumi and i feel like i'm on another planet?? maybe i'm just coping, but i think there are more signs in 230 that he isn't down and out yet:

gojo is visibly concerned when megumi tanks unlimited void. why would he care if he wasn't trying to save him? yeah yeah, water is wet, but lots of people have been worried about this. clearly, gojo hasn't given up on megumi yet, and he's way smarter and stronger than me!! so, if gojo hasn't given up, neither have i.

we see megumi for the first time in ten chapters!!!! sure, he's not looking too hot right now, but as long as we can see him, he isn't gone (he's still in fetal position so he's gonna get his maki moment, trust!!)

we also see megumi's soul, or at least gojo does. the visual when he realises that megumi took the hit is very similar to the visual from the 'my soul knows otherwise' moment in shibuya. there are two orbs this time — presumably the larger one is sukuna and the smaller one is megumi — but again, i think that as long as gojo can see his soul, sukuna hasn't succeeded in sinking it.

gojo's last line in the chapter is a direct reference to the first time he fought sukuna in front of, you guessed it, megumi!! i don't know whether it's a message from gojo to megumi or a message from gege to the readers, but gege never self-references by accident. was it just a little 'hang in there' to megumi, or are we gonna see some of the beats from the first fight play out again??? 👀

a couple of thematic things which i think work in megumi's favour too:

seeing the smiling faces of gojo's students getting behind him RIGHT before sukuna starts thinking about love and strength and solitude feels kinda 'power of love and friendship' to me. maybe gojo isn't as alone as he thought and perhaps that's the edge he has over sukuna OR sukuna is about to pull out whatever yorozu gave him... or perhaps what tsumiki gave megumi????

on that note, i really didn't get what gojo said about megumi's soul adapting to the 'process' of unlimited void rather than the effect. we'll have to wait for the translations but, knowing gege, it's probably ambiguous on purpose. however, it's yet more crumbs about the whole body/soul connection. the fact that sukuna didn't expect it to affect the brain of the body he's occupying is very interesting, no????

look, gojo said he's gonna take care of things, so he's GONNA TAKE CARE OF THINGS 😤 (god i hope i'm not clowning)

i think this chapter beats 229 as my favourite of the fight so far though. i know some people are bored of this arc, but i've really enjoyed the unpredictability of it. i will concede that the cliffhangers have felt a bit icky at times, but i'm not gonna blame that on gege. at the end of the day, they want sales.

i'm giving up guessing what's gonna happen week-by-week though, because gege just keeps throwing curveballs. i think it's safer to stick to broader predictions based on the themes already established, because it feels like they're increasingly coming to the forefront.

anyway, this actually started out as an essay about gojo's character before i decided i really wanted to talk about megumi. guess i'll post that tomorrow because 230 has got me feeling FEELINGS about this man. with tomorrow's episode on top of that, it's a hell of a week to be a gojo stan!!

[lokigonnakmsforbucky]

Secrets (D.W. x Reader)

Dean Winchester x Female! Reader Request: Could I make a supernatural request? Reader has written in her diary about her crush on dean and doesn't know he feels the same way. Jack doesn't know what a diary is and finds it sitting with a bunch of books or something and reads it. Since he doesn't know what the book is he reads a few passages out loud to the brothers. The reader probably gets pissed off and Dean says how he feels.

Warnings: Angst, Reader is mean to jack a little. Overall pretty fluffy. Rating: Anyone can read this!

A/N: I am accepting a supernatural tag list, if you like to join please leave a comment or send an ask! I also am still accepting Requests!

Gif not mine*

View my masterlist

It has now been days since you have had a case. This means you got a very long break that you deserved. The bunker was nice and quiet, for the first time in a very long time.

You were sitting at the table with Sam, Jack, and Dean. Writing in your diary. Yes, you understood that having a diary was kinda...childish. But, did you care? No. It helped you cope with everything that has been thrown at you over the years of hunting. It also helped you talk about the feelings you've had for a certain green-eyed hunter.

You have known Dean for about two years now and met through Jody Mills. During these two years, you both have been through quite a bit throughout the time you have known each other. Such as Dean with the Mark of Cain, demon Dean, Amara, British Men of Letters (They were so annoying).

Now we are now raising Jack a Nephilim, son of Lucifer. He looked like he was sixteen, but was technically only two months old. Very bizarre I know. It was challenging, to say the least. Teaching him everything he needs to know at a quick pace wasn't ideal. But, Jack was a kid. A very powerful kid, but a kid.

Jack was sitting across from you trying to help Sam do research about a ghoul, Sam wanted to take him on a case soon so he could learn the ways to hunt. Dean was beside you eating the burger he made earlier and reading an article on the news website, you decided to take your time and write in your diary.

There wasn't a day that you didn't go out to write in your diary. You wrote in it so much that even Sam and Dean picked up on your routine. You close your diary and lay it on the table, stand up from the table, and walk to the kitchen for a drink. When you walk to the kitchen you see the huge mess that Dean has made in there. For one burger, that man was messier than a two year old.

You could see the sliced-up tomato guts on the cutting board, lettuce leaves, and onion all around the table and on the floor.

"Dammit, Dean." You laugh seeing his mess before you grabbed the broom and cleaned the floor. Wiping all the tomato, lettuce, and onion remains off the floor and into the garbage can.

After you cleaned that mess up, you walked over to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle. Afterward, you walked down the hallway to hear Jack speaking, "I have no idea why I have been feeling like this lately. My feelings for him have become stronger and stronger that I can't even stand going on cases anymore to see him get hurt."

What is Jack even talking about? Does he have feelings for someone? But, he doesn't even know or understand how relationships work. He has only been on this earth for two months.

You walked faster down the hall to see Jack sitting beside Sam with your diary, but before you can say a word he read more.

"I really like Dean. There I said it. I like Dean Winchester. I fear losing him to a hunt and can't bear with losing him to a monster. I liked him for a few years now, but I have been too afraid to say anything. I'm sure by how Dean would rather be with other women that he doesn't feel the same about me. Plus, I wouldn't want to lose our friendship over my childish crush."

Before Sam had a say in anything, you were already crossing the room to Jack. Snatching your journal away. Your open water bottle was on the floor, spilled.

"Do you know that it isn't nice to read someone's diary?!" You yell at Jack. Jack holds his hands up, "Y/n, I didn't know. It was on the table with the other books. I thought it was re-"

You cut Jack's sentence off, "Research?? Really? What's your excuse? You see me write in it EVERY DAY Jack! How could you not pick up that it's something personal! Oh, wait. You're a little baby in the body of a sixteen-year-old!" You slam your book down in front of him, "Go ahead and read the rest. You read enough already!"

Jack had his head down hearing you yell at him while Sam and Dean looked at you and him. You know Jack didn't know what it was. But, you felt betrayed and hurt by the fact that now my secret crush was out. Dean knew. You could feel all the eyes on you and your own eyes burned. Tears were gonna start falling soon. You left the room and went down the hallway to your room and slammed your door shut.

You lay down on your bed and sighed. Hiding your face with your hands and sobbing. You could never look at Dean or Sam again. You got up and started packing your clothes. Everything was over. The friendships you built. Gone. The years of working with them—him was over after everything you've been through.

A knock on the door broke you out of your thought. You wiped the tears from your face and opened the door to see Dean leaning on the doorway in his red henley and blue jeans.

"Hey." He spoke looking at you, "Can I come in?"

You open the door wide enough to allow Dean in, he walks in and rubs his head with his hand while you closed the door.

"What do you want D?"

Dean took a breath before he spoke, "Look. You were really hard on Jack. He didn't know. He is just a kid."

You nod your head at Dean, understanding what he said. "Yeah. I know. I'm gonna to apologize to him later. I am just mad." You look at your feet not looking at his face.

Dean looked at your partially packed suitcase and sighed, "I understand why you are mad. But, I came to talk to you because I need-Dammit I ain't good at this." He took a breath before he spoke again, "Ilikeyoutoo."

He said that sentence so fast you couldn't quite make out what he said. You look at him confused and step closer to him, "What?"

Dean sighs and takes a step forward, "Screw it." He takes your face in his hand and kisses you.

His lips were soft but you could feel the passion behind them, You stood there for a moment letting Dean kiss you before you returned the kiss giving the same passion he was giving you.

It felt like pure bliss while the kiss lasted. You never wanted it to stop.

Dean pulled away, his hands still on your face holding it gently. He looked you in the eyes. His green ones are full of emotion and devotion for you.

"Do you get what I am saying now? I don't want you to go." Dean said, his eyes never leaving yours. You smile up at Dean.

"I never will go."

[timidxtempted]

I don't know shit about guns.

But I know a li'l bit about triggers.

Triggers, I mean the trauma kind, are not fun surprises. They'll hit you like a bullet and leave you just as bloody, even if you don't see it on the outside.

Of course, you can mitigate the likelihood, and you can prepare yourself in advance. Protect yourself. Prepare for every possible eventuality that you can come up with. Plan. Plan again. Plan more. There. That should be easy enough. Good job. You have done it. Outsmarted your trauma.

Right up until you haven't.

No matter how methodically you try to remove all possibility, something is bound to happen that - surprise! - is just gonna knock you on your traumatized ass. Doesn't even have to be done purposefully. Although, intentionally shot is usually particularly armour piercing.

Boom. You're hit. You might not stagger visibly, but that doesn't mean you weren't hit, and hit hard.

The best case scenario is that you are in a safe space or with a safe person - or can hang on until you get safe... and then drag out your coping skills and start trying to find the one that's going to work best.

It's just...if you're like me...you might start talking to yourself.

Unkindly.

Why the fuck did that happen? You're past that. You conquered. You built yourself a big fuckin wall, brick by motherfuckin brick, you did that all on your own, and you have no business being triggered. What is the matter with you, why aren't you over this shit. It was long ago. Fucking weak. You should be embarrassed for reacting this way.

It's not nice to read it all laid out there (wasn't pleasant typing it, either) but I'm just being honest about what I'd said to myself after the event that precipitated this post in the first place.

I was lucky that day. I was able to hang on until I got safe.

But it got me thinking for a long time afterward.

Thinking about triggers.

And guns.

I don't know shit about guns.

I don't know what they feel like.

I don't know what it feels like to fire one.

I have never even held a gun.

Even when triggered, it's not like I think I'm the one doing the triggering.

So...

So why am I so willing to shoot myself down for my response to a trigger when I was not the one holding the proverbial fucking gun?

I'm only saying this out loud (by typing it) because it made me stop and think about how many times I've blamed myself for getting shot. Or berated myself for not thinking to wear full body armour to brunch. Or kicked myself for not figuring out how to deploy a full impenetrable shield to move about the planet.

So I decided that the next time (and there will undoubtedly be a next time) I'm finding myself triggered, instead of hurting myself even more by telling me I failed, I'm going to try reminding myself that not only am I not the one pulling the trigger...

...but it was never even my gun in the first place.

(This has been sitting in my drafts for a couple of weeks, after I was triggered pretty hard by something I thought I should not have been. I finished it tonight after a conversation shared. So I edited some, added some, and smoothed some out. And now, it's stronger than it could have been without that conversation. That's pretty fucking cool.)

[spidermanifested]

ive thought a little more about devils nest dungeon meshi au (demons nest?) and here is the idea i was bouncing around in my head. id love for some kind of lore compliance check because i havent really gone back over the manga since i finished it, or sought out any kind of supplemental material, and i like the challenge of fitting these kinds of things into the boundaries of the source (once again DUNGEON MESHI SPOILERS. for people who havent read the manga at all)

so you have this demon (in a dungeon) (granting desires and eating them) (getting stronger) (hoping someday he can get out of the dungeon). and hes been in there a while and boy does he love watching humans get their greatest wishes granted, but the part where they gradually go mad with power or get disenchanted with the results and also he has to eat their desires anyway eventually kind of blows. he wishes he could only have the good part where he gets to make people happy forever is that too much to ask. maybe when he gets out of the dungeon he can do something about that. love to get out of the dungeon

anyway fast forward a while and this guy comes in. some teenage prince from a tallman country thats wracked with internal conflict and what HE wants is to become immortal, because that way when he takes the throne his reign will be eternal and the different clans will stop fighting over the right of succession. thats so specific. the demon loves it. he can just give him a peaceful united empire here, in the dungeon, which he can rule eternally-- no he wants the one at home. well. the problem with that is that the demon is here, in the dungeon, and not out there.

HELP WANTED NOTICE: i dont remember what the exact plan was vis a vis the winged lion getting up to the surface in the manga and i know it Had to be simpler than "just walk out of there" because why would it have had to steal laios' body about it. WOULD a sufficiently dedicated dungeon lord be able to get back up to the surface with their respective demon in tow.

ADDITIONAL HELP WANTED NOTICE: if a demon WAS freed from the dungeon without being powerful enough to get out under its own strength, how much magic would it be able to perform out there? would it be able to make somebody immortal without the big magic-insulation box. i feel like this changes a lot if greed Can grant ling immortality vs if now that hes out of the dungeon he cant really do shit.

either way now that hes out he does not technically need to eat this kids desires specifically anymore. if the immortality thing is a bust, maybe hes shaken by the experience of not being able to fulfill somebodys wish for the first time. but HIS wish has been fulfilled instead? complicated! maybe ling drags him back to his kingdom to help him gain the throne, or maybe he gets mad and leaves and greed never finds out what happens to him, but whatever goes down it changes his worldview and hes starting to develop a sense of personhood separate from the rest of the Demon Conglomerate, and also desires that are unique to Him

but he still wants to help people realize their own desires and maybe thats even strengthened by the fact that now he personally knows how much it owns (funny) to want something so bad and finally get it. so im thinking eventually he goes back to his old dungeon, now way smaller, and he sets up shop, and just waits for people to come by so he can help them in a less exploitative way. like he graduates from Addiction Metaphor to Healthy Coping Mechanism Metaphor. and the chimeras all find their way there eventually and he wins their trust one at a time until they are forced to admit this weird overly genuine dungeon guy kind of rules. his personality is laios basically he has the exact same type of autistic swag

but. if the elves heard about a demon who was just fucking going up to people floor 1 like hi im a demon welcome to my dungeon. they would shit bricks. so the raid also has to happen at some point. and i Am putting ling in there albeit as backstory so im open to suggestions as to how the rest of the cast of fma can fit into this (father and the homunculi as other more typical demons obviously) (no clue about anybody else) (come and play toys with me)

[edupunkn00b]

Hey hey Edu! I am having a day™️today and I have been thinking about why it is so hard for me to reread "What Might Have Been", but not "The Uses of Adversity"

Buckle up, there are spoilers for anyone who somehow has not read those masterpieces already

So, I think, I figured out my difficulty with WMHB is that at the core, I can barely cope with how much Remus spirals in that fic. The way he loses his grasp on himself more and more, the way his mind offers him another reality to deal with the how his life is getting out of order just- it did blindside me. Not because it's unrealistic or because you wrote it badly.

I think it just took me so off-guard after reading Happily Ever After where Remus, may have struggled but ended up helping Logan so often. Like, there is this underlying strength in his character that I adored. This hope and playfulness that never seized to show up.

And then he falls apart. It all falls apart and shatters. And I know that people do that. I know that characters do that and that it creates so much more interesting stories.

Later in different tidbits you show us how Remus was, versions of Remus and how he self-destructed before. You showed us better versions of himself, where he gets help earlier, chooses different paths, is able to choose different paths.

So it makes sense that he spirals, gets worse than ever before.

It just hurts so much because to me, it felt like he had it already. It felt like he was out of the woods. It felt like he had gotten better and was stronger than this. But the problem is that healing isn't linear. Sometimes you don't heal at all. Sometimes you just deal with the chipped state you're in.

And I think that was the thing that hurt. That Remus wasn't broken, but chipped. He seemed fine. He seemed to be doing well, to adjust, to grow. But he wasn't really broken, he was just chipped. He is chipped. And that is not something to be fixed but to be dealt with. And it's exhausting and tiresome if you don't know how to do it or have lost the motivation to do it.

But in TUoA we have Logan. And this version of Logan, who has suffered so much and is hurt and fearful and so very much in pain is less painful for me to see than WMHB Remus could ever be. Because that Logan has been broken. That Logan has been irreparably changed and will never be the same again.

And yet. And yet he gets the chance to become someone new. He gets the chance to be put back together in a new way. He gets to have Roman by his side, who looks at his broken pieces with love and care and is with him anyway.

And I think that hit less hard than what happened with Remus and feels more hopeful to me even though I understand that there is much more to come for Logan in that universe. But maybe, he'll be spared to have his son admitted to a mental hospital. Maybe he'll he spared to see his love fall apart because of something he couldn't have.

Maybe at least this portion of his life ends up being gentler than what WMHB would have given him.

Yeah.

I am very normal about your fics.

Kudos.

First of all, all the hugs in the world for you, Eir <3. You are beautiful inside and out and I hope you know that your stories touch me in so many of the same ways you're describing. (Most especially Life on Crow Avenue and Words Are Hard.) <3

I first read your note last night and had to sit with it because you're right, at the core of Remus' journey in What Might Have Been is the terrible truth that mental illness doesn't just go away. It can be managed to varying levels but it won't ever simply 'heal' like a cold or a broken leg. It's always there with us.

That was a difficult lesson for me to learn and one I'm probably still learning. I knew it intellectually but there have been times when life decided I needed to really learn it.

So many of us are those chipped cups, sitting on a shelf or serving some purpose. Just like those chipped cups, some of us break more easily than someone who has never been cracked and we do require extra care.

When I wrote Happily Ever After, I intended it to be a fairy tale. A fantasy, my fantasy, of what my life could have been like had I had friends like Janus and Roman in my life during my darkest times. Of how much stronger and better I could be if I'd had the support they gave him over the years.

I structured it like a fairy tale, took every chapter title from the first line of famous books. Logan started the story sad but unbroken, still surrounded by love and support. He ended the story discovering what I discovered about my self, ended the story with love for him and promising futures for his children. It was my dream fairy tale ending.

And it was completely unrealistic.

After sitting with the story for bit, I wanted to see how that might have actually happened, what a real ending to Logan's story might have been like, because if I could make Logan's fairy tale ending more realistic, I could make it realistic for me, too. That if in the more realistic version when Remus couldn't just bounce back again this time, if in even that version, he and Logan (and Janus and Roman and all of them) could still find a happy ending, I knew I could, too.

The Uses of Adversity is the same tale but backwards. What could possibly lead Logan to a happy ending when he started without Janus as a friend? The first part of TUoA, It Could Always Be Worse was very dark and was nearly even darker. I wasn't sure how it would end until I got to the last chapter. The original tags included an "author chose not to use Archive warnings" tag because that story nearly ended very differently.

Strangely, The Uses of Adversity, as straightforward as Logan and Roman's love story was, was much harder to write than WMHB or any of the other tales.

I hope that for every person who can't ever go back to WMHB, there's a person who reads it and can see that happy endings aren't just for fairy tales. That we can go through it all and still find a way to happiness in the end. That, chipped and broken and spiraling, there's always another chance for us to pick ourselves up or to allow ourselves be picked up, and keep on going toward a place of warmth and joy.

No matter what we've been through, it's never too late to build joyful connections with other people. It's never too late for a happy ending.