#i know he’s part of a band and they actually released music a few months ago

[givemeureyes]

does anyone remember crankthatfrank and how he kinda just disappeared off the face of the earth one day

[nocreativityfornames]

Random Obey Me! Headcanons

Belphie doesn't know how to swim and is too lazy to learn. The brothers have tried to teach him multiple times, but he always ends up giving up before he can make any real progress. He even fell asleep in the water while Satan tried to teach him once, and after that, the brothers just collectively gave up and accepted he'd probably never learn how.

Lucifer is terrible at baking and making any kind of sweets in general. This is funny, considering he's one of the best cooks in the house when it comes to preparing literally anything else. And Satan absolutely thrives off of this, as he actually masters all areas of the kitchen and will brag about how it's one of the things he's better at than Lucifer.

Beel loves rock and metal, they're his favorite music genres to listen to and motivate him when he's doing his morning run, practicing for future games, or going through his workout routine. He actually learned how to play drums because of it, and even performed in a concert when a friend's band was doing a show, and the friend called him a few hours earlier saying he couldn't make it and needed him to take his place. That day, multiple videos of the concert were posted to DevilTube and went viral. Everywhere, people were discussing how talented Beel was, and the brothers even encouraged him to enter the music industry. He refused though, saying he wanted to focus on sports as it was his main passion.

Satan was born a baby, though he grew faster than any other demon or angel. The way I picture this is that he would stay the same age for a few months and then jump to another out of nowhere, for example: he'd be 3 years old for a few months, and then suddenly jump to 5, staying that age for another set of time till he jumped to 7 and continued the cycle. This only stopped when he reached the age he'd originally have if he had born when first formed as an emotion in Lucifer's body. And so he now ages normally, as any other demon would.

There's a magic barrier around the House of Lamentation that stops any demon that's not one of the brothers, Diavolo or Barbatos from even passing the gates. But as mentioned, it only works on demons, hence why Luke was able to sneak in without the others even noticing during season 1. And this is the same for the Demons' Lord Castle, that also has a magic barrier around it.

Mammon smokes. It's his way to relax after an especially stressful day, he'll stand on the balcony staring at the view outside, alone in his thoughts for as long as he needs to. The brothers understand, as they all have their own ways to cope with stress, and always make sure to check on him at some point while he's there or after. Sometimes though, on very rare occasions, Lucifer will actually go and join him. They'll vent to each other about work, their day in general, and whatever is on their mind while smoking together. Those times are very special for both of them, as they can just chat and relax together without worrying about anything else, knowing they'll always have each other.

The characters' speech gets jumbled when they're drunk, they just start speaking multiple languages at the same time and it only gets worse the more drunk they are. For example, Levi will start spilling Japanese words and sentences in the middle of conversations, Solomon will talk in Old English and confuse everyone, and Lucifer, as the affectionate drunk he is, will just start mumbling I love yous and a bunch of soft praises in Infenal to his brothers and MC. It's a mess.

Levi is one of the most popular streamers in the Devildom when it comes to gaming, anime reviewing, and weeb content in general. He's everyone's favorite, and the one people go to for opinions before purchasing anything. He gets sent games before the official release, merch, figurines, etc. And although most of his streams involve just him, sometimes a brother will join. Mammon and Beel for the most part, but the others have all participated at some point. ( Fun fact: Levi broke his record of views when Lucifer accepted to join him after years and years of pestering. They played Minecraft together, chatted about random stuff, and the viewers were blown away seeing a new side of the eldest, as they only viewed him to be intimidating and unapproachable. To this day fans beg for another stream between the two, but Lucifer always refuses, saying that was the first and last time. )

Lucifer taught Satan how to play piano when he was younger. The fourth born however grew to resent the instrument, lumping it together in the long list of things he'll never pursue again because of how it only makes him more similar to the eldest. He does miss it sometimes though, and very rarely, when he's alone at home, he'll play one or two songs to himself and think back to the lessons Lucifer gave him long long ago.

Beel gives the best massages ever for some reason. You'd think not because of his size and clumsiness, but he actually knows how to control his strength and be a perfect mix between gentle and rough. Oftentimes Beel uses his skill on his brothers, mostly Lucifer and Levi as they're usually the ones staying sitting for too many hours at a time and end up stiff as rocks afterward.

Asmo has an OnlyDevil account where he shares spicy pictures/videos of himself that his fans go absolutely crazy for. His account is very popular and he's actually one of the most sought creators on the platform. Needless to say, the amount of money he makes out of it is no joke.

For some time after lesson 16, Beel didn't know how to interact with Belphie or how to even feel about what had happened, making him avoid the twin completely. It got to the point where he couldn't even stand sleeping in the same room as him, seeking Mammon every night to sleep with him instead. The second born never minded, as sharing a bed with the younger one kept the nightmares of MC's death away.

Satan has always been extremely sensitive to certain sounds, textures, and tastes. For example, there's a brand of milk he absolutely despises for how weird it tastes, despite all the brothers ( including Beel ) insisting that it tastes the exact same as any other milk they've had. There's also a certain type of fabric he can't wear because of how it feels on his skin, numerous foods he can't eat as they give an unimaginable ick, and noises that make him physically cringe at how uncomfortable they sound. The brothers have been aware of these things ever since Satan was born, and although they don't completely understand it, they always have it in mind when buying something for him or finding themselves on cooking duty.

In the Devildom, birthdays are celebrated every 100 years. Diavolo however is an exception to this rule, as he is of royal blood, and his birthday is made into a huge annual event across the entire kingdom. Following this, the brothers only began celebrating their birthdays annually once MC came into the picture, as they wanted to experience as many birthdays as they could while they were still around.

Lucifer regrets not accepting Satan as his son from the get-go, cursing his past self for denying responsibility for the blond when he was first created and the poor way he treated him. But he didn't know any better, he had just fallen after facing a war against his own problematic father, and the last thing he wanted was to label himself as someone's parent. But now he really wishes things had been different, though he's already accepted that it's far too late now, as thousands of years have passed and he believes he's lost his chance to make things right an eternity ago. It still pains him to this day though, to see the change in Satan's expression whenever someone makes the even slightest suggestion to them being anything more than brothers.

I've already made a separate post about this one, but the brothers can sense their sins on other people and feed off of it. Also, demon blood is dark black, while angel blood is bright gold.

[pepsiboyy]

HEARTSTRINGS. - p1

masterlist ⚜ p2

pairing: chris sturniolo x fem!reader summary: after moving to massachusetts from florida, y/n lives with her half brother, nathan doe, who is part of a small garage band. their sassy guitarist, chris sturniolo, can't help but get on her nerves. but there's something about him. warnings: use of y/n lol, mentions of drugs, cursing a/n: rewrote the FUCK out of this, i hope this one is SO MUCH BETTER. love u guys. <3

"chris?"

"phone charger girl!"

"the fuck is he doing here?" my voice boomed in the garage, causing nathan to flinch slightly.

"woah, you two know each other?"

"sort of." chris responded with that stupid smug smirk on his face.

"not at all, actually." i responded quickly, immediately shutting down chris' disgusting expression.

my heartbeat was racing. i couldn't feel anything but anger in every fiber of my being. i couldn't help but remember to myself earlier today.

i had been living in massachusetts for about three days now. very interesting place, very different from florida.

after my mom's drug addiction became a major issue, cps was informed and i was sent to my dad's in boston, where i was completely unfamiliar with everyone and everything.

my dad's side, they weren't complete strangers if checking his status on facebook counted as being close.

shortly after i was born, my mom took me and left my dad in boston while we fled to live in florida. and as i get older, i can't help but feel more hatred towards the woman. my dad was a great guy, never deserved the way she treated him. he definitely did not deserve his first child being ripped away from his grasp a few months into my life.

when my mom and i moved to florida, my dad met another woman and had a child with her, whose name is nathan.

he seems like a really cool guy, an awesome brother to have, so i was looking forward to this move a lot, more than i probably should have.

the feeling of fresh air was appealing to me and the feeling of finally being there to reassure my dad that i want to be with him was even more exciting to me.

nate and i clicked pretty quickly, talking about our music taste on the way home from the airport. we talked a lot about video games, and he told me he was involved in a small garage band and plays the drums.

"that's so fucking cool!" i exclaimed with a bright smile, and nathan nodded.

"yeah! we mostly do covers now, but i plan on releasing some new and original music soon."

i nodded as i stayed focused on nate as he spoke, playing with my hands in my lap nervously.

the fact that this kid was my brother was so mind blowing to me. i couldn't wait.

the doe family had left to go to an event they had only bought three tickets for. i reassured them over and over that i was okay with staying at the house and continuing to settle in. and with that they left.

i dug through my bag and frowned when i came to a tragic realization.

"fuck." i cursed under my breath as i stood up and slid on my shoes.

time to go to that one gas station down the street we stopped at on the way here from the airport.

i left the house through the front door and slid my earbuds into my ears, playing my favorite playlist as i walked down the street.

boston was a lot more close together than florida. it genuinely made my heart happy.

about fifteen minutes into my walk and i find the gas station, pulling the door opened and look at the employee at the counter, smiling faintly to greet him. his eyes were glued to his phone though, so i turned to make my way up and down the aisles and look for the phone charger that works for my phone.

"eighteen dollars is fucking bizarre." i muttered under my breath at the charging brick box that i now have between my fingers. i carefully took it off the bar and grabbed a six ft long cord, making my way to the counter.

this is great. no job, new place, and i was already burning a hole into my savings for a fucking phone charger.

i set the two boxes on the counter and began digging through my pockets to find my wallet, the boxes hitting the counter a little harder than i had intended.

"woah there, sensing some aggression from 'ya. boyfriend start an argument with you or what?"

i finally found my wallet, but my eyes shifted quickly to the boy at the counter. "excuse me?" i asked, my face flushed at the thought. "it doesn't-" i blinked a few times. this kid was insane. "just ring me out please." i sighed as i inserted my card in the cardreader.

"relax sweetheart, just yankin' your chain." he stated defensively, skipping through the prompts on his screen. his hair was a little longer than average, and fairly wavy. he had a silver cuban link bracelet on one wrist and a few small handmade ones on the other, a ring or two on each hand. he had silver hoops in his ears and a plain black t-shirt on over his blue baggy jeans.

i stared at him in disbelief before i put my pin into the pad, yanking out my card as soon as it beeped and quickly shoving it into my wallet. chris set the charger boxes into a small plastic bag, placing it on the counter between us.

"i'm not your sweetheart," i narrowed my eyes at the nametag on his shirt, sucking in through my teeth, "chris."

i gripped the bag and left the gas station, and never turned back to see chris with his arms raised, and that disgusting smirk on his face.

my music was playing extra loud in my headphones in a desperate attempt to drown out the sound of nate slamming the drums in the garage.

i carefully sat up, my hand moving to run through my hair as i slipped on my shoes and stepped down the stairs. i was just wearing some pajama shorts and an oversized hoodie, but who even cares, right?

my hair was thrown into a messy bun, and i had one earbud in as my eyes were glued to my phone. i turned the doorknob to the garage carefully before stepping in and lifting my head as the music came to a halt.

and with that, my eyes widened.

and that's how we got here. with a finger pointed to my face.

"the fuck is he doing here?" my voice boomed in the garage, causing nathan to flinch slightly.

"woah, you two know each other?"

"sort of." chris responded with that stupid, smug smirk on his face.

"not at all, actually." i immediately barked back, crossing my arms.

nate looked between us both and shrugged it off quickly before he pulled a chair beside him. "come listen, y/n. i think you'd like it a lot." he told me.

i couldn't say no. i really was curious to hear nathan play. "okay, sure. just for a bit though." i reminded him of the time, and he smiled brightly and sat down in his seat.

i felt chris' eyes burning into the back of my head the whole time, his shaggy brunette locks perfectly draping over his forehead, which was a bit damp, while his eyes shifted to focus on his guitar again.

nate turned to me with a bright smile, grabbing his drumsticks as he glanced to the other two, making sure they were ready.

i watched the three and smiled as they began playing.

they were really good, actually.

better than i had expected them to be.

with nathan slamming the drums with his drumsticks and the boy i didn't know yet playing the bass, chris actually knocked his part out of the park.

chris glanced up for half a second, where we locked eyes. my eyes widened as he turned back to his guitar and a small smile grew on his face.

i hate this kid.

the song came to an end, and i turned to nathan, applauding happily.

"you guys sound great, genuinely. have you guys worked on any original stuff?"

nathan chuckled and shrugged, glancing between the other two. "a bit. chris writes phenomenal lyrics. we're working on it."

i glanced to chris for a moment, who was now gently strumming the strings of his guitar. i gulped as i stared at his hands, then turned back to nate. "i'm excited for you guys. let me know if i can do anything to help?"

nate nodded happily, and i stood up.

"alright, i'm gonna try and go to sleep. good luck to you guys." i waved at the three, and smiled at nate, my eyes quickly glancing at chris who waved softly back, no clear expression on his face anymore.

and with that, i opened the garage door and shut it, before taking a deep sigh and leaning against it.

"dude, you didn't tell me your sister was bad as hell," an unfamiliar voice rang, which i assumed was the bassist.

"wh- ben, gross! shut up dude," nathan quickly stated.

i cringed at the boy's comment, shaking my head quickly as if he could see me responding or something.

"invite her more often." chris stated blankly, standing up from his seat as he adjusted his guitar strap.

nathan turned to chris and narrowed his eyes.

i quickly stood up and made my way back to my bedroom, laying flat against the bed and turning up the music playing in my earbuds.

chris playing guitar and writing some lyrics.

it made me genuinely curious about whether or not this guy actually wrote good lyrics.

i hated being curious about him.

but i needed to know more.

masterlist ⚜ p2

comment to be added to taglist!! taglist;; @sturnioloshacker

[victorbutnotreally]

OMG I'M FINALLY FINDING A BLOG WHICH IS MY CUP OF TEA. YOU'RE AWESOMEEEEE

i have an idea but i can't write for shit, so i'll give it to my favorite tumblr writer (which is youuu)

smau where han messages the wrong number and it's some guy from like another country. and they become friends and then han comes to find out that his text pal is actually a celeb he fanboys over.

(bonus points if mn knows han as well)

OMG - Han Jisung x Male Reader

A/N: Love that!! Thank you sm for requesting <3 (I can't title things for the life of me, so you can ask for a different title in the replies and I'll change it) French music makes writing so much more fun.

warnings: slight swearing

blue {} - han purple {} - Mn

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

{Oh. How nice of this person to wish me a good practice session.

"Is he getting here anytime soon?" Minho's voice echoed through the practice room.

"I'll ask!"

When he opened his phone again to change the number, he saw a familiar figure in the random person's profile picture. Mn Ln. Finally, someone who he can rant about the Mn Ln. }

{ Great. Got my hopes up for nothing }

{ Naturally, Mn wouldn't want his personal number leaked. So he lied. He was surprised at how smooth that was, but hey, it's text. He wanted to know more, though. Is that narcissistic?

He set his coffee mug down on his nightstand and looked a lot more like a contortionist as he continued to text, the risk of spilling coffee being gone now. }

{ Being called the best vocalist ever was certainly not something he expected. He was great, sure, but the best? Not when Freddie Mercury has music out there. But he'll take that compliment.

He was impressed at the fan. 'Achilles, my love" was one of his more niche songs, having been written when he was only 15 when he got completely shattered after reading 'The Song of Achilles' and decided to pour his heart and soul into a song which he released years later.}

{They don't know Mn yet, but who wouldn't like him after listening to Achilles my love? The way Jisung made the members listen to Mn's music was like a little kid making their parents watch Frozen. But the members never complained, the music was really good. Would they roll their eyes when Jisung keeps sending Mn memes into the groupchat? Sure. Did they have certain parts of certain songs memorized because Jisung kept watching his edits on repeat? Oh yes. }

{Mn didn't want his identity leaked. He had to think of a name quick. Chris, as in Bang Chan from Stray Kids was what came to mind. }

At the Paris Fashion Week

{Jisung found a spot away from the cameras and was texting 'Chris'. After a few months of them being 'text pals', he was pretty fond of the random citizen. But despite the sheer amount of songs, pictures, and videos he's sent of Mn, 'Chris' was never as obsessed with him as Jisung was.}

{Holding a glass of champagne in his hand and dearly missing his coffee, Mn who was decked head to toe in Hermes, makes his way over to the figure he recognized as Han Jisung of Stray Kids. How he loved that band. He was listening to Han's song 'Volcano' on the way there. As he goes to talk to him, his eyes caught onto the rapper's phone screen. And by instinct, he accidentally read a few texts. Texts that were from him. He wanted to tell Jisung, but how?}

"Hi! Huge fan, Jisung.." Jisung's eyes widened as he shoved his phone into his pocket and extended his hand for a handshake. It was his first time seeing his favorite singer in real life.

"Oh my god...you..sorry, I'm just flustered all of a sudden. I'm your biggest fan, really."

"I appreciate it. We should collab someday." "Yes!!" Was that too loud? No, right?

Mn was endeared by the enthusiasm. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and unlocked it.

"Care for a selfie?"

"I'd love to.." Jisung tried keeping his voice from sounding too loud and excited as he smiled beautifully in the selfie he took with the singer. He took one on his phone as well, along with a photo of just Mn, not being able to resist the opportunity.

A/N: I'm ending so abruptly since I have really bad writer's block rn and I didn't even know how I posted this much. If you have any ideas on how Jisung finds out he's been texting Mn all this time, then let me know in the replies or send a DM.

[oracle-of-dream]

Something Special

Summary: You've been getting closer to Jay, a wealthy businessman, as you've been booked to sing at multiple events for this business dinner. He invites you as his plus one this time, but you have a song written just for him prepared...

Notes: Some non-sexual works are in order since I haven't released any in a while, so I hope you like it <3

Wordcount: 2.8k

Sitting in a cafe, in a corner seat near the window. You could feel the sunlight shining through the window warming you up from the cold winter air. You came here to find some inspiration for your song. You wanted to write something special for a man who you met here. You could remember the day he walked into the cafe. It was an open mic night, which you went to every single one to practice singing on stage. Most people didn’t really pay attention to you, but one man couldn’t look away from you. It felt like you were singing just to him like the two of you were alone in the room together. That was months ago. The man introduced himself as Jay Park, the CEO of one of the businesses in the area. Some fashion company, and judging from the clothes he was wearing you could tell it wasn’t a lie either… Jay asked if you’d be interested in working a few gigs, promising very generous pay for some classy late-night singer vibes to come to his studio events. The first event was something to remember. It was on a huge stage with a live band. The room was full of people, most of them not really paying attention, the number was enough to even make you want to reconsider performing at all. But Jay spoke to you before the performance, encouraging you, and it turned out to be one of the best nights you’d ever performed.

You scratched your head in frustration, looking down at your notepad. It was full of lyrics from the song you’ve been working on for the better part of two months. You heard that your favorite client liked to have a New Year’s dinner for his company with live music. Meaning that it would be the perfect time to showcase a new song, but nothing seemed to fit the feeling you wanted. Something special…

You heard your phone ringing and answered, “Hello?”

“Hey Songbird, you busy?” 

You smiled at the nickname he gave you. “Never too busy for my favorite businessman.”

“Did you eat yet? We could go out to lunch in a bit, my treat!”

“Jay, it’s always your treat when you take me out.”

“Well, I can’t let you pick up the bill. It’s a pride thing, ya know?”

“Pride in what,” you scoffed.

“Pride in knowing I’m taking care of you. I like treating you. And there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about too...” Jay’s voice was a little tight like he was nervous about something.

You pretended not to know that he was going to ask you to sing for him. “What’s the occasion, maybe another gig?”

“I did have a gig for you on New Year’s Eve, but I found another singer.” 

You hesitated, trying to collect your brain before replying. Your face felt a little warm and your smile faded after registering what he’d said.

Jay broke the silence first, “Not that you’re not an amazing singer, I just figured you’d be a little too busy that night since–”

“I’m super busy actually! I gotta go catch up with another client calling. We’ll get back to this another time, yeah?”

“Y/n?” 

You didn’t let Jay finish before you hung up the phone. Your face was hot and getting hotter as you thought more about it. It’s just business with him, so it doesn’t matter to him who he hires for events or whatever. Even giving a courtesy call to tell you not to worry about the event. The nerve of that guy! You look back at your notepad and flip to the next page, writing new lyrics to your song, something to show how you really felt about him.

Jay tried calling again after an hour, even texting you. You decided to mute his number while you were in your creative process. Since he had time to hire another singer because he assumed you were busy, then you were too busy to answer the phone. 

Three days had passed since you last spoke to Jay. You were still muting his notifications, but couldn’t help yourself from looking at the texts… It was mostly confusion in the beginning. Then trying to explain something, but Jay seemed apologetic. It had been a while since his last message, which was just, “I’m sorry”. That’s when the guilt started to set in. Were you being too harsh to him? It’s not like it's a contract deal or that he had feelings for you, so it didn’t matter if he hired another singer. But you still couldn’t find out why you got so angry in the first place.

You picked up your phone and called Jay. It rang and rang, but there was no answer. Maybe he moved on after you freaked out and ghosted him… You went back to your notepad, looking at the lyrics you wrote. The new ones were mean and it felt horrible reading what you’d written about him. You ripped out the pages and threw them all away, trying to put that part of yourself aside.

You called his office. His secretary Mrs.R answered. She was an older lady who looked after Jay like she was his mother. She was always willing to speak her mind to her boss, which is why he liked her.

“Hello, Y/n! It’s so good to finally hear from you. Mr.Park has been trying to get in contact with you!” 

“I know…” Your throat was so dry, it was hard to speak. “Is he in the office today?”

“Yes, he’s here. He’ll be in meetings for most of his evening. Should I tell him you called?”

You thought about it… “No, I don’t want to bother him while he’s at work. I know he’ll cut corners and try to make time to talk to me, I wouldn’t want him to do that.”

“Oh, okay. I would like to ask a question, if I may. What were you planning to wear to the New Year’s Eve dinner? Mr.Park asked me to pick out a suit for him, but I thought it would be best if he matched with you.”

You cocked your head to the side. “Why would he need to match with me?”

“Well, you’re his date, aren’t you?”

“Date!? He didn’t mention anything about that to me.” You tried to think about when he may have asked you.

“He told me he was planning to call you and ask you a few days ago. I told him it’s better to ask in person, so he said he’d invite you to lunch and ask you then.”

You remembered the last time he invited you to lunch… When you hung up on him.

“Actually. Mrs.R, if you could tell him I called. I’d really appreciate it.”

“I’ll let him know right away.”

“Thank you.”

You hung up the phone feeling like an idiot. You kept your phone with you for the rest of the day, checking it constantly, but got nothing from Jay. It was around 11 pm when you really started freaking out. New Year’s Eve was tomorrow and you had no real way of getting to him. You typed out a big paragraph apology to him for not listening to him and begged him to call you.

After a shower to clear your head, your phone rang. You almost fell as you rushed to answer it in time. 

“Jay! Look I’m so sorry, I was an idiot for not trying to listen–”

“I’m so sorry dear. I’m not Mr.Park…” You heard Mrs.R’s voice coming out of your phone.

“Sorry… How can I help you, Mrs.R?”

“I was hoping I could drop off this suit for you. I thought you could use it for the event tomorrow.”

“He hasn’t answered me, and I don’t think he will at this rate.” You sighed.

“He’s probably being petty. He’s like that when he’s upset, but I have an idea for you if you’re willing to go through with it.”

Your ears perked at her idea. You gave her directions to your home and she explained her plan about how she wanted you to crash his party to make him see you again. However, she left a lot of things vague with only one thing very clear. 

“You can’t talk to him before you get there. If you do, it could potentially give away the plan.” She warned.

You nodded in understanding as you took the bag she brought for you. Inside was the luxury suit, taken from one of the product lines in the company. You walked her to the door and thanked her for helping you, waving her off as she walked back to her car and drove away.

The suit was black with a white button-up, but the fabric was sleek and smooth. Something you’d more likely see Jay wear, but if it was a part of the plan then you knew you had to wear it.

The next morning, you fought the urge to text and call Jay again. It used to talk almost every day, but almost five days of not speaking to him was starting to get to you. That’s when you started getting texts from Mrs.R.

“Okay, first we need to get you into the building undetected. We can’t put you on the guest list as Jay gets a copy of it so he doesn’t forget who’s coming, so we’ll need to sneak you in with the catering business.”

Her plan sounded straight out of a spy movie, but you had no objections. You took your time putting on makeup and the suit, setting your hair right, and plucked your lyric book with you before leaving to head to the location of the party.

Upon arriving, you parked and followed the crowds of people towards the front. Your phone buzzed again.

“The caterers enter from the side entrance, white van. They should be expecting you, so just grab some supplies and help them inside. Once you're in, come find me.”

You texted her back. “Isn’t this a little extra? I could’ve asked him if I could come…”

“Of course it’s extra! He loves this kinda stuff, if you want to show him how serious you are, then you should be extra.”

You sighed as you walked away from the front of the building, to its side, and followed the caterers into the building as they carried in food, utensils, and more. Just as she told you, none of the staff bothered asking who you were. You took a few turns down the several hallways until it opened up into the main ballroom for the event, where you instantly spotted Mrs.R at the reception table. 

You rushed over to her, holding an empty tray. 

“Mrs.R!”

She smiled as you came over. “Well, who’s this handsome server?”

“So what next in your master plan?”

She took out a sheet of paper. “This is the itinerary. The singer we had was supposed to get here already, but I’ve managed to send them home. Without a singer, Jay will be desperate for a new one. And then that’s when you’ll take the stage. I’ll give you a signal, so hurry and get backstage!”

You didn’t know whether to be shocked or impressed by her control of the whole plan, but you didn’t have time to decide. You rushed backstage, ditching the metal tray somewhere. 

A voice came over the speakers, it was Mrs.R! “Ladies and gentlemen. I deeply apologize for the delay on the music, we’ve finally gotten someone who’s ready to give a little ambiance.”

You could see the audience from where you were standing. Jay was sitting towards the front with an irritated look on his face, talking to some other men he was sitting with. The rest of the audience was either eating or talking amongst themselves, which you were used to, but you got the same feeling from your first performance for Jay… Your hands were cold, your stomach churned, and your knees were locking into place.

Mrs.R walked backstage. “Okay, it's your–,” she noticed your stressed expression. “Oh dear, are you so nervous about performing in front of him?”

You shrugged as your mouth wouldn’t open.

“He wants to see you. And I know you want to see him too, I can see it in your eyes. He needs you to be strong right now, so you have to go!” Mrs.R ended her short pep talk by handing you her microphone and giving you a small push toward the stage.

The push was enough to get you to move your feet, and walk onto the stage. White lights shined onto your face, almost blinding you. Some of the audience was hard to see, but you could see Jay. Front and center, still talking. It didn’t seem like he’d noticed you yet.

You positioned the microphone on the stand and nodded to the band to start the first song in the set. You started singing, only looking at Jay. Hoping he’d look back at you…

It was about a minute into the song before he looked at you for the first time in five days. His expression softened and he cracked a smile when he saw you onstage. He nodded his in approval as you sang to him. You went through the first set of the event before being allowed to have a break.

You stepped backstage and Jay met you there.

“You’re here!?” Jay hugged you tightly.

“Y-Yeah… I’m here.” You hugged him back, enjoying every second of him holding you.

Eventually, the two of you separated, and Jay was the first to speak. “Did you get my messages?”

You nodded. “And did you get mine?”

“Of course I did. I tried to call you, but I was in meetings all day and still had preparations for the event. So I didn’t get the chance to call you… And I honestly thought you didn’t want to hear from me anymore.” Jay’s voice was full of relief, and he looked like he could’ve burst into tears at that moment. “Why did you hang up on me that day? I didn’t get to explain myself…”

“I… I felt a bit jealous. And irritated that you didn’t want to ask me if I wanted to sing for your event, and you assumed I was busy–”

“I was going to ask you to be my date at the party. You’d be too busy sitting with me to be on stage singing, is what I wanted to say.” Jay sighed. “I didn’t think you’d get so irritated that you’d hang up before I could give the pickup line.”

You felt more embarrassed hearing him say it. “When you said date, did you mean an actual one? Or just your plus one?”

“I meant, Date,” Jay said flatly. “I wanted tonight to be special, so I could ask you if we could look into something a little… more personal than Singer and Client. I just didn’t really know how to play it.”

“Is that still on the table?” You asked.

“I’m open to negotiations,” he replied smugly.

“Watch it, businessman. I’m not too into contracts.”

“Right, no cages for the Songbird. I remember.”

You blushed at the nickname. “Do you have somewhere a little private? Just us?”

Jay looked around before leading you to an elevator. It was all glass, with a view of the city as it got higher off the ground. He pressed on the 50th floor, letting the elevator rise. Right before the doors opened, he switched the elevator off. “Private enough?”

You looked out at the city lights. “Perfect.” You pull out your notepad from your pocket. “I wrote you a song if you’re willing to hear it…” 

Jay leaned against the wall of the elevator. “A private show? I’d love that…” His gaze was locked on you as you prepared yourself in front of him.

You sang Jay the song you’d spent the last two months writing, pouring in everything you’d felt about him. Tell him about the first time you met, your first performance for him, and how he had your heart since that day… 

At the end of your song, you saw a firework explode behind Jay. High in the sky. It shined beautiful green and purple colors. You moved closer to see more fireworks.

“Happy New Year, Songbird…” Jay whispered as he held your waist, pulling you close to him. “Do I get a New Year’s kiss too?” Jay spun you around to face him, his face lighting up from the colors of the fireworks. It felt like time had stopped moving as he leaned down to you. He softly placed his lips on yours, drinking your lips under the stars and lights of a new year. A new year together…

[abeautylives]

Times I Remember Well

(and Some That I Don’t)

Part 3

author’s note: Thank you for reading this ridiculous story. Now for the good stuff.

pairing: female!OCxjake

time frame: 2016-2018

word count: almost 7.8k this part

warnings: language, underage drinking (implied), mentions of sex and sexual situations, nudity, oral (m. and f. receiving), unprotected penetrative sex

You know how most people’s lives change pretty drastically when they move away for college?

What, were you expecting me to claim that I was different, special in some way?

I’m not.

If you’re wondering, Sam and I were fine. I guess he’d matured enough to keep speaking to me when he found out I’d almost fucked his brother. I was still immature enough to give him a classic three day long silent treatment over the whole Sam said he thought you were fucking that guy you dated thing.

I even made him agree to never bring me up to Jake again. Ever.

Anyway, my first semester of college kind of kicked my ass. I was smart enough, but I couldn’t decide on a major and it made the whole experience feel like a waste of time. I didn’t meet anyone worth much of my effort to get to know, and I spent a lot of nights alone in my dorm room. I barely even liked my roommate. Meanwhile, Sam was at home breezing through his last year of high school and preparing to actually go on tour.

Like a real tour. It was my worst nightmare. And I had to hear all about it when I came home for winter break. 

But he was excited, of course he was. And I was proud of him. And Josh, and Danny. I couldn’t bring myself to have positive feelings for Jake. After he’d rejected and embarrassed me (again), I’d run off to school determined to lose my v-card to literally anyone who’d never been to Frankenmuth or heard of their band. Fortunately for me, almost no one had heard of either.

So, I did. And Matthew Nowak had been a very cursory and lazy fuck, but he got the job done. I mean, he popped the cherry or whatever, he didn’t make me come, and I never gave him another opportunity to try.

I almost didn’t even go home for Christmas, my dad had been begging me to come see him, but I knew if I didn’t go home, I might never see my best friend again.

Was that a little dramatic? Sure, but the dates for tour were going to start around my birthday, before he even graduated, and he wouldn’t be home for the entire summer. There were talks of getting signed, to a fucking label. Releasing their music to the world. Jake’s dreams were coming true and he was stealing my best fucking friend from me.

He really was an asshole.

I went back to school in the spring a little sad, nostalgic for a time when things were easy and fun, and I always had a weekend smoke sesh in the Kiszka garage to look forward to. There was nothing for me to look forward to in Ann Arbor. Until I met Soph.

Sophie and I were paired up within the first few days of one of our classes, and thank God we were. We clicked instantly, she was almost like a female version of Sam with even better hair.

She got me out of my slump, out of my dorm room and out of my own head.

As we started hanging out more outside of class, we learned about each other’s lives at home, and she let me talk endlessly about Sam. About moving away from Traverse and finding the best friend I’d ever had, growing up with him, becoming an adult at his side.

I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but eventually I ran out of stories and didn’t feel the need to talk about him much anymore.

For a few months, we worked hard and partied harder, and I felt more and more like myself, or my new self, with her help. My new self must have been putting out certain vibes that attracted attention, because I wasn’t hurting for it. Not that I really had back home, but home had narrowed my view, the Kiszkas my whole world. Even when I did date boys, Sam was there to tell me he didn’t like them, then Josh was there shining brighter than the sun, blinding me to them.

Then Jake was there. Ruining me for everyone else, just by existing.

In Ann Arbor, Soph had the opposite effect. Every guy was cute, cute enough to talk to, flirt with, party with. A select few were hot enough to make out with, let them touch our bodies, we would touch theirs. Dance with them, let them pull us close, throw our arms around them and tell them to take us somewhere quieter. 

There was that one time, I’d gone back to this guy’s dorm and he’d put a playlist on shuffle. Ya know, so we wouldn’t be heard. And right before I put his dick in my mouth, fucking Highway Tune started playing. 

Instant no. I left him there with a hard-on and zero promises of returning.

But anyway, Soph and I had fun every weekend, studied every weeknight. By the end of the second semester, we’d decided on my major, and made sure we would share more classes in the fall.

When summer break rolled around, we spent the first half with her family in Grand Rapids and the second, reluctantly, with my mom. Home was weird without Sam, but he was off galavanting across the U.S. Communication between us had been sparse, though he did call me once every few weeks to fill me in, and let’s be honest, brag. I didn’t mind the bragging, much, but even with how well things were going at school, I’d have given anything to drop it all and be with him. 

Even if it meant tolerating Jake. 

Life goes on, time keeps on slipping, the wheel in the sky keeps on turning and all that. 

College was hard, but Soph and I really buttoned up in the fall. More studying, fewer boys, a little less fun, but Michigan gets cold fast and running wild all over campus didn’t hold the same appeal. We vowed to live it up in the spring, maybe settle down and get some boyfriends. Maybe not.

“Holy shit holy shit!”

We were in the library, Soph across the table from me with wide eyes, laptops, books and notes spread out between us.

“Shhh! What? What the fuck?” She leaned in conspiratorially and I turned my phone around to show her the screen. 

“They’re playing in Detroit. They’re coming home!”

“Will you be quiet? Who, Sam’s band?”

That made me laugh every time. I always called it Sam’s band, because he would’ve loved it and someone else I knew would have loathed it.

They hadn’t been home in forever, they were hardly even in the states, and when they’d played the Fillmore in the spring I’d been so bogged down with new classes and so much fucking homework, I couldn’t justify leaving campus let alone the city. 

But they were coming back, and I’d be on winter break. Sam had sent me their schedule, which I’d thrust into Soph’s hands.

“Aww, reunion! I wish I could go with you.” Her pouty face was unmatched, but she was going with her parents to visit family in Ohio for the holidays. For a moment, that realization made me panic. I wanted to go, needed to see my best friend, but to do it alone? Why did that make me nervous?

Maybe because I hadn’t seen him in two years. Maybe because I hadn’t seen him in more than two. I doubted I’d even get to spend much time with Sam, and I doubted further that I’d be able to get him away from the others.

Not that I wouldn’t want to hang out with Danny, or even Josh. But… well, you know.

I wondered if they were going home for the brief break between Detroit and Seattle, and I made a mental note to ask Sam. 

I’d insisted on buying my own ticket to the show, their third added at the Fox after the first two sold out, but Sam wouldn’t hear of it. He set me up with a ticket and access to see them backstage, and I tried not to let it get to my head. It's not like they were famous or anything.

Selling out multiple shows.

I FaceTime’d Sophie so she could help me decide what to wear - I hadn’t put this kind of pressure on an outfit since the night I kissed… yeah, you saw how that went.

We landed on skin tight faux leather pants, an extremely low-cut black and tan floral print top with a fitted bodice and wide, flowy sleeves, and chunky black boots. I planned to top it off with a vintage fur coat Sam and I had found thrifting a few years back. We’d always joked that it originally belonged to the old lady they named their band after. 

“Okayyyyy, so what about your underwear?” 

I stopped spinning in front of my phone, where I’d been showing Sophie the whole get up.

“What the fuck do you mean, my underwear? Who cares?”

“Babe, it’s a rock show! What if you meet a super hot guy with like, tattoos and a tongue ring that wants to rock your world?” I watched her eyebrows waggle as she stuck her own tongue out at me. 

“Yeah I don’t think that’s really their demographic.” 

But… an idea started to form. Sexy underwear would make me feel sexy. Who would be irritated to see me, looking and feeling sexy, arguably hotter now than I’d ever been? Who would be downright furious to watch me get a little flirty, a little provocative with another man? Men? His brothers?

Ohhh, Jake Kiszka was gonna kill me. And it was gonna be worth it. 

The ticket Sam held for me was in the front fucking row. Of the seats, behind the pit floor, but still. How embarrassing, what if I didn’t know any of the words? I didn’t really listen to their music, not since I was in high school, watching them practice or play at Fischer.

As you can imagine, I didn’t need to worry. Every, single, song was familiar. Songs that they’d written or started writing when Sam was barely fifteen. But the people around me knew them all, better than I did actually. 

That was… pretty cool.

I left my seat as the guys were blowing kisses and throwing flowers into the crowd, stopped in a bathroom to check myself out, and followed Sam’s directions to make it backstage. The guys made it there before me, I could hear their excited voices from the hall as a security guard led me to their green room. We slowed as we got closer, and I stopped the guard before we reached the door, composing myself, slipping my coat off, smoothing my hair and controlling my expression. 

You should've seen his face when I walked through the doorway, slow clapping and wearing my best deadpan. They all turned their heads in my direction, but his face was the one I sought out. 

His cheeks were still flushed from the stage (he honestly goes crazy up there) but he immediately turned so bright pink I hoped his head would explode. 

“YOU’RE HERE! Holy shit, you’re here!” Sam rushed at me and instantly my feet were off the ground, he swung me around and I couldn’t help the smile that stretched wide as I laughed with him. 

“You’re sweaty! Put me down, idiot!” He dropped me to my feet and grabbed a hand, lifted it above my head and spun me in a circle.

“Look at you, you look hot, T!” His laughter cracked loud and joyous and my heart soared. He didn’t mean anything by it, of course, but he was right and I knew it.

Danny approached me next, taller and even broader than I ever remembered him being, and wrapped me up in another sweaty hug. “Good to see you, did you get tinier?” We laughed and I slapped him away. Then Josh caught my eye, arms crossed over his bare chest under an open black vest and leaning against the vanity, grinning. 

I moved toward him and he met me in the middle, opened his arms and threw them around me. He didn’t make fun of me, or comment on the way I looked. Our cheeks were pressed together and he turned his face and dropped a kiss to mine. “We’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you guys too, more than you know.”

He let me go and his grin stretched into a blinding smile. “What’d you think of the show?”

“It was fucking awesome, I can’t believe you guys are like, legit rockstars! Seems like yesterday you were jamming in your garage.” Sam sidled up and threw a long arm over my shoulders.

“To be fair, we didn’t really stop jamming in the garage until last year, T.”

I knew that, I guess. But I’d missed it, and I’d missed the moment my best friend grew up. But this wasn’t the time to get weepy about that. I still had a mission to accomplish.

Turning out of Sam’s hold, I faced him. He no longer looked apoplectic, but his nostrils were flared and his arms were crossed, one hand running a finger across his chin below pursed lips. His focus was distinctly somewhere on the floor, but I walked toward him and watched his eyes connect with my boots and then travel, slowly, all the way up my body. 

Get a good look, asshole.

And he did, his gaze lingered for a fraction of a second on my hips, and then again on my chest before it finally met my face.

Say something stupid, I dare you.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” 

My own eyes rolled in my skull. “Good to see you too, Jacob. How have you been?”

His features twisted in confusion for just a moment before he smoothed them back out. Good.

“Fantastic, living the dream, ya know. How have you been, Tiny?”

“Oh, really good!” I crossed one arm, tucking it under my tits and pushing them up while I twirled a finger through a strand of my hair with the other hand. “I’m majoring in English and Writing and aced all of my finals this past semester. Just really living my best on-campus life. Work hard, play hard and all that.”

It was so satisfying, the way he’d accidentally looked at my chest and then failed to look back at my face until I was done speaking. I swear to you my pussy fluttered when he swallowed, hard, before responding. It was that satisfying. 

“That’s- ahem, that’s great. Glad to hear it. Thanks for coming by to say hi or whatever but we need to pack up our gear and head to the hotel.”

Nice try.

“Oh, cool! I’d love to come with you guys, I just miss you all so much.” His face started turning pink again before I looked over my shoulder. “Sammy! Can I come with and hang out at the hotel? Just for a little bit?” I whipped my head back, my hair swinging with it, to see his face before Sam even answered.

I wanted to see if steam came out of his ears.

“Fuck yeah! You can crash with me if you want!”

One corner of my mouth lifted and curled. “Perfect!”

I regret to inform you that no steam came out. But I think it was pretty close.

When I pulled in at the hotel, I texted Sam and he told me they were in the lobby so I flipped my visor down, checked my face and fluffed my hair. After a deep breath, I got out of the car and made my way inside. 

The hotel wasn’t anything too ritzy, and I figured despite it all, they weren’t that famous. Sam still looked and sounded like the best friend I’d grown up with, though there was something about him that had become more attractive. All of them actually exuded more… sex appeal? 

Ugh, musicians. 

My timing was pretty good, I entered the building in time to catch them getting in the elevator, Jake being the last left in the lobby. But we caught each other’s eye and instead of walking on, he backed up a step. The doors closed and the elevator rose without him. 

He stood there, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans, and waited for me to reach him. When I did, he spoke before I could. 

“What are you doing here, T?”

I painted confusion on my face instead of the pure gratification I actually felt. “Visiting my friends? What are you-“

“Cut the bullshit. It’s unbecoming.”

Okay, that was a little wrinkle in my plan. I hadn’t even started shamelessly flirting with anyone yet and he was already cursing at me. I doubled down.

“I came to see them, Jake.” I pressed the button to call the elevator back down and crossed my arms.

“And what about me?”

“What about you?” Just as I glanced up, feigning more interest in the LED display of numbers as the elevator came down than this conversation, he stepped closer and gripped my arm. Pulled me closer.

It felt familiar.

“I’m not buying it. Come on.” The elevator dinged and the doors opened to an empty car, but he was already pulling me down a hall toward a stairwell door. It swung open as he shoved through it, yanked me through and pushed me ahead of him, and it slammed shut behind us.

The stairwell was silent, our breathing was amplified and bounced off the walls. His voice made me flinch.

“Third floor. Go.”

Four flights of stairs and two landings separated me from their room. That was fine, I could do it.

Except he stayed behind me the entire time and didn’t speak a word. By the time I pushed the door to the third floor open, my nerves were fried and I was still trying to discern his reasoning for taking the stairs. If he had yelled at me or pushed me to the wall and kissed me in the stairwell, it would’ve made more sense. Instead, he placed a hand low on my back and led me down a deserted hallway to room 307. I breathed a shaky sigh of relief, ready to abandon the plan completely and run to Sam, use him as a personal human shield for the rest of the night.

But he pulled a key card out of his pocket and slid it into the lock, and the heavy door opened to a dark, empty room. 

Jake stepped inside and flicked on a light, holding the door open for me. I didn’t move.

“Jake, what-“

“Get in here, we need to talk.”

It sounded like a terrible idea, I hadn’t come here to talk. I came to spend time with Sam and do enough harmless flirting with the guys to drive Jake crazy. 

“No. Where are the guys?”

He just stared at me for a tense few seconds before he sighed impatiently. “In Sam and Danny’s room.”

“And which room would that be, exactly? I’ll just go knock-“

“Please.”

I know, I know. Did he really have to go and ask nicely?

“Fine, you know what? You have five minutes then I’m the fuck out of here.” He had the nerve to give me a tight-lipped smile, lift his palm and wave me in as I started to pass him and head into the room. Then he let the door swing shut.

We were alone.

The room was pretty standard, two queen-size beds, a table and two chairs. Not exactly rockstar shit. I tossed my coat onto the closest bed.

“You want a drink?”

I dropped into a chair, crossed my legs and folded my hands over my knee. “No, I don’t. What did you need to talk to me about? You have four minutes.”

He pulled a White Claw out of the mini fridge, popped the tab and sat at the end of the bed closest to me. After a swig from the can, he leaned forward and propped his elbows on his knees. 

“Three minutes.”

“Jesus, give it a rest, T.” He pinned me with a glare and my eyes widened. “Don’t. Don’t act all affronted because you’re not getting your way, I’m sick of it.” 

“I don’t know what you mean, I-“

“Stop! Tell me why you’re really here.”

“To see Sam! I told you-“

He stood from the bed, leaned across me and slammed the can onto the table. I jumped in my seat, but then he bent down and gripped the arms of the chair on either side of me. Right in my face, he ripped me to shreds.

“I’m tired of this, T. Since day one, everything has always had to be all about you, your feelings, your stupid ideas, your fucking games.”

That was ridiculous and it straightened my spine, I sat up taller and put us nose to nose, but he didn’t stop.

“How many times have you come between us and Sam? Pitted us against each other? Run away when you didn’t get your way, with one of us or all of us?”

With a huff, he pushed himself away from me but now I was ready for a fight. Launching from the chair, my body followed his. “And what about you, Jake?  You spent years fucking with me, leading me on, just to humiliate me over and over again!”

“Is that really what you think?!” We were squared up now, hands flailing as we yelled in each other's faces. “I didn’t do shit, and you spent years avoiding me, making me feel awkward and unwelcome in my own house because God forbid I ever be in the presence of such a self-entitled, delicate fucking princess!”

“Oh, you fucking prick. Fuck you-“

“So eloquent, that’s really lovely Tiny.”

You already know that he said that on purpose.

“Don’t. Call. Me. That.” I was fuming, the steam was probably coming out of my ears, and that pissed me off further. Everything about this was infuriating, my night completely off-railed, my time with my friends ruined. I was done.

I threw my hands up and then put them on his shoulders, with all intention to shove him out of my way and walk out of the room with some part of my dignity intact, for once.

But that’s not exactly what happened.

Because once I touched him, the tension reached a breaking point. And boy did it break.

Before I could push him away, his arms were around me, his hands spread across my back, and he pulled me in. 

Yep, he was kissing me. 

Our mouths slammed together and all the anger, all the fury, combusted between them.

My own hands betrayed me and shot from a grip on his shoulders to a grip in the hair at the back of his head, still slightly damp from sweat or a shower at the venue, I had no idea. And I didn’t care.

He ravaged my lips until they felt bruised, opened them with his and forced our tongues to battle for dominance, sucked the air from my lungs until I couldn’t breathe. I pulled away to drag some back in but he hardly gave me the chance, tugging me back in to kiss my lips, bite my jaw, murmuring between the attacks. 

“Why are you really here…”

His hands slid up my back and sunk into my hair, pulled my head to the side so he could continue his attack on my neck, my throat.

“Say it, the truth.”

My brain was in shut down, I forgot what words were and how to make them. His teeth reminded me, scraping along my skin.

“You. For you.”

His lips closed over mine again and he was moving me, two steps backward and we turned, the back of my knees hit the bed where he’d been sitting. Our mouths broke apart, our hands fell away. The sound of our breathing, fast and uneven, thundered between us.

“I’m not gonna stop this time, T.”

My heart stumbled over its next few beats.

“I don’t want you to.”

We fell back into silence as he reached forward and slid his hands up underneath my shirt, rough fingertips pushing the fabric up over my ribs, my chest, I lifted my arms and let him pull it over my head and shook my hair out as he let it drop to the floor. 

There was just enough light coming from the only one he’d flicked on, and the moonlight spilling through the uncovered window, that I saw his nostrils flare. His eyes trailed over my lace and silk covered chest before meeting mine.

“You’re so beautiful,” My breath caught, I held it. “I’ve never told you how beautiful you are.”

I couldn’t speak, emotion squeezing my throat, the words I’d always wanted to hear from him tightening every muscle in my body. So instead, I mirrored his actions and tucked my fingers under the hem of his t-shirt. Soft, heated skin met my touch and I flattened my palms over his hips, up over his stomach and I swear he trembled. Seriously! When they made it to his chest, I could feel the hard, steady beat of his heart, rapid beneath my hand. 

Maybe he knew I could feel it, maybe not, but he leaned in and pulled a soft, sweet kiss from my lips before he took over and tugged the shirt over his head. 

“Jake…” His chest and stomach were lightly toned and completely flawless, a glimpse of which I’d gotten when he was onstage, shirtless under an open jacket. I wanted to tell him just how perfect I thought he was, he’d always been, but the words wouldn’t come. So I bent my knees and dropped to the bed, the barely there happy trail leading up from the low waist of his pants now directly in front of my face.

I leaned forward and kissed it. A strangled noise came from above me, I smiled against his skin. Then his hand was in my hair and he pulled, forcing my face up. He smirked.

“You ever done this before?”

Asshole.

Blindly I reached for and found the button of his jeans, popped it open and worked his zipper down slowly. 

“Please don’t piss me off, or I won’t be nice.”

A chuckle rumbled through his chest. “Just making sure.”

His grip in my hair kept my chin tilted up, eyes locked with his. I peeled the denim over his hips and pulled it down to his knees. Heat rolled off his body in waves, I was dying to look at it, take it all in but there was fire in his stare and I was burning. My fingertips mapped out what I couldn’t see, found the subtle V that led down into his briefs and traced it before I tucked them under the elastic and rolled it down his legs. 

Jake Kiszka’s cock bobbed in the air between his hips and my face. Crazy, I know. I wrapped shaky fingers around him, felt how thick and hard he was before I’d even seen it, tried to picture what I could remember from his dark bedroom.

“Fuck, T.” I tightened my grip on him, just a little, stroked him once. His eyes slid shut.  “I can’t believe you’re here.” I stroked him again and his grasp on my hair loosened, my chin dropped and there it was. As perfect as the rest of him, his dick was big, the head flushed pink. My mouth watered.

For real.

In that moment, I wondered quickly what he liked, how fast, how slow, how hard? My tongue slid out and tasted him, just the very tip, and he snatched my hair up again. The sting in my scalp made my eyes water and I opened my lips and took him in, wrapped them around him and swirled my tongue over his skin. He whimpered.

I could be remembering that wrong, but I swear he did.

He wanted to take control, I could feel it in the smallest amount of pressure from his knuckles on my scalp, but I wanted to be stubborn. I was tired of the control he seemed to have over every one of our interactions. I released him with a soft pop and his eyes shot open. 

“C’monnn,” he groaned. I took my hand off of his dick and pushed him back, he almost stumbled, his legs still trapped in his half-removed jeans. I stood from the bed, spun us around and reversed our positions, then pushed him by the shoulders to sit.

“Patience, Jake, patience.” I flicked the front clasp of my bra open and felt the unrestrained relief as my tits spilled out, then that flutter of satisfaction as his eyes went wide right before going soft and dreamy. What can I say, Jake’s a breast man. “Aht.” He’d reached for them, lifted his hands like he just couldn’t wait to feel them again, but they paused in midair. “I said patience.”

He huffed out a sigh and dropped them, so I continued. Made a little show out of unzipping my boots, sliding them off and peeling the skin-tight material of my pants down my legs. His fingers flexed against his thighs the entire time, clenching into fists and releasing over and over. I waited until I was left in just the lacy thong to instruct him to remove his pants. 

His boots were kicked off and denim tossed away in an instant.

And there we were again. Jake, fully bared to me while we stared at each other, my tits out and pussy covered. But this wasn’t going to end the way it did two years ago. 

Not if I had anything to say about it.

I dropped to my knees and his legs spread, making room for me to kneel between them. His cock jumped when I touched him, just my fingertips, up his shins and over his kneecaps before I placed my palms flat on his thighs. When I peeked up at him through my lashes, he was staring hard, jaw clenched and nostrils flared again. So I continued to trace my fingers over his skin, further up his thighs, over his hips, up and down his happy trail. 

Through gritted teeth, “Baby, please.”

Baby? I was throbbing, slick between my thighs already but that hit me like lightning.

I wrapped a fist around him at the base and took him all the way to the back of my throat.

I had to. 

A string of rough curses fell from his lips and a hand tangled in my hair, but I kept my composure, sucking him in and stroking with my fist, letting him sink as deep as I could without choking. His skin was hot velvet on my tongue, I could taste his desire, his need, and I couldn’t help the moan that rippled up my throat around his cock.

“Jesus fuck.” His hips jerked, I gagged around him, he fisted the hair at the back of my head and yanked me off of him. “Get up here.”

Remember how I wanted to maintain the control here? Yeah, I failed. 

He used his grip on my head to bring my lips to his, his tongue sweeping in to dance with mine immediately, his hands moving down my body to pull me up and into his lap. I threw my arms around him and rocked into it instantly, his roving hands landing on my ass and pulling me in, his dick rock hard and slick with my spit grinding against my silk-covered pussy.

Just like that, I lost control of my insolent mouth too.

The kiss broke and I rested my forehead on his, my eyes trained on what was happening between our hips. “God… I-“ The head of his cock caught on my clit, I gasped at the feeling. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

Embarrassing, I know. But then… ohh then.

His hands skimmed up my ribs until they were cupping my breasts, thumbs grazing over my nipples. 

“I’ve wanted you longer, T. Forever.”

Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps ran up my arms, I shivered, my nipples tightened, and he pulled one into his mouth. He sucked and lapped at it, thumb still moving over the other, and without hesitation he sunk his teeth in. 

“Fuck yes, yes yes…”

His tongue circled it again and he released it, pressed a hot and fast kiss to my mouth. 

“You still like that, huh?” He chuckled as he opened his lips over the other side. The silk between my legs was soaked, I could feel how easily I was sliding over his cock, and I was getting impatient despite the way I’d reprimanded him hardly ten minutes ago. 

“Jake, please…”

He popped off of my nipple and pulled another kiss from my lips, then leaned back and let one corner of his mouth curl up, self-satisfied and cocky.

Still an asshole. 

“Please what, baby? Tell me.”

My eyes rolled, even as he tucked his face into the crook of my neck, nipped and licked me there.

“I want you inside, please fuck me.” Self-control, out the window.

“Mmm,” he hummed into my skin, “No.”

Before I could be properly offended, and believe me, I was, he gripped my thighs and hauled me up, then deposited me onto the mattress. Well, tossed me, really. I bounced once, arms and legs flailing, hair falling in my face. By the time I pushed it away and propped myself up on my elbows, he was standing at the foot of the bed, dick in his fist. I opened my mouth to speak, to yell at him or beg him to stick it in, I don’t know, but he was stroking himself, and he moaned. My mouth snapped shut.

“I’m not gonna fuck you,” I scoffed, offended, pissed even. “Yet.” He let himself go and placed his hands on the mattress, then climbed onto the edge of the bed and started crawling towards me.

It was so fucking hot. His cheeks were flushed, his hair wild from my hands, his eyes dark. I backed away, moving up the bed until my shoulders met the headboard. He didn’t stop coming, and I didn’t want him to. Instinctively, my knees bent and my legs fell open, inviting him in. But he didn’t settle there, when his hands reached me, he grabbed me by the calf and threw my leg over his shoulder on his way down. 

His mouth opened over damp silk and I cried out, his name or God’s, I’m not sure, but his lips and tongue were moving against me and I may have blacked out. I came to when one of his hands skimmed up my inner thigh, and he broke away long enough to slip two fingers under the material and tug it aside. 

Jake Kiszka’s tongue was on my actual, bare pussy. 

My shoulders sagged against the headboard as I reached for him, burying my fingers in his already tangled and unruly hair, our eyes met and he dragged his tongue over me again and again.

“Shit, you were right, this is better,” I panted. He smiled against my cunt and I felt it. I smiled too.

My cheeks hurt I was smiling so hard, until he laser-focused his attention to my clit. His lips wrapped around it and he sucked it past them, my jaw dropped. 

“Oh, oh my God, oh my God!” He was good at this. Too good. The beginnings of an orgasm were already swirling, tightening in my belly, making my toes tingle. The tip of his tongue moving against me until he opened his mouth over me again, and I felt it plunge inside me. The sounds I was making were unholy but I had no shame, I couldn’t feel anything other than need. I needed to scream, I needed to come, I needed him. 

He brought a hand up around my thigh and ran his thumb over my folds, licking himself as he lapped at me, then swirled it over my clit as his tongue fucked me. Before I could even moan, two fingers from his other hand replaced his tongue inside me.

“Jake!”

His head tilted and he pressed his lips against my thigh, kissed it and grinned. “Yes?” Fingers everywhere, filling me and fucking me, circling the most sensitive part of me - I forgot what I wanted to say, if I had even wanted to. Instead I pulled his mouth back, he slid his thumb away and flicked his tongue against me. 

“Yessss, yes just like that, please!” I let my eyes close and stars were already dancing behind my lids, I was close, so close, and I told him so. I moaned it and his fingers plunged deep and curled. I screamed it and he sucked my clit back into his mouth. 

I came hard, nails dug into his scalp, bucking my hips against his face, screaming his name. 

It was unreal. College guys had nothing, fucking nothing, on him.

Before my muscles had even relaxed, he lifted his head from between my thighs and moved up my body, his fingers still pumping slowly inside me as he kissed my hip, my stomach, my breast on his way up to my mouth. He tasted like me when my tongue touched his, and he eased his fingers from my body. 

“Absolutely fucking stunning, breathtaking.”

His breath was taken? I still couldn’t breathe, my chest continued to heave as he left the bed, taking my panties down my legs with him, and I could barely lift my head to see what he was doing. My eyes closed and I felt the mattress dip with his weight as he returned and settled on his heels between my legs, still splayed open. I cracked an eyelid and found him watching me, wrapped condom held between his fingers. 

Under his gaze, I shifted down until my head rested on the pillows, spreading my legs wider, pussy presented to him on a silver fucking platter.

This was happening. There was absolutely no way this was not happening. Not this time.

“Now, Jake.” Unrecognizable, my voice had a distinct sex kitten-like quality that I loved as soon as it hit my ears. He must have loved it too, because his dick twitched and he gripped it. I reached up and snatched the condom from his fingers, tore it open and started rolling it on while his eyes bugged out and his jaw fell slack.

“Jesus, not your first time, huh?” My hand replaced his around him and I stroked, he leaned over me and I guided the head to my center, moved it through the slick pool of arousal there. He paused, poised to enter me, and met my eyes.

“I’m pretty much out of firsts, Jake.”

His eyes closed, his hips rocked forward, and he pushed just past my opening, the tip not even fully inside me.

I tilted my own hips up, he slipped a fraction of an inch deeper. I whispered, and it was sexy, and seductive. “It could’ve been you.”

He sucked in a sharp breath, opened his eyes and we watched each other’s faces as he sunk deeper, slowly, to the hilt. “It should’ve been me.”

Stunned, speechless, we stayed like that. Unmoving, bodies connected, eyes locked. He broke first, dropping his lips to mine and rocking into me softly. A sound I’d never heard before, quieter than a moan, crept up his throat, trapped behind his lips as they caressed mine. My legs lifted, cradling him between my thighs and wrapping around him. 

It was gentle, sweet. The exact opposite of how I knew it would’ve been, if I’d let him be my first, thinking he wasn’t. 

I felt my cheeks warm, my eyes pool with tears. I blinked them away. This was everything I’d wanted and more. I knew I’d been an idiot to think otherwise. Especially when he pulled back and delivered a quick, deep thrust and there was no pain. Only pleasure bloomed inside me, hot and volatile. 

“Again, more…”

An excellent listener, he repeated it. Again, again, and I met each thrust with my own. Our kiss turned frantic, sloppy, lips and tongues clashing and pushing, pulling and taking. The temperature in the room was rising with the heat of our skin, our bodies slipping against each other. He lifted his chest from mine, hands braced on the pillows on either side of my head, and the conditioned air on our damp skin made us both groan in ecstasy.

I damn near came again, almost commented on it but he dropped back down and shoved an arm between me and the mattress, rolled us both. We laughed as we landed, his hair strewn across the pillow and mine falling in his face. My laughter stuck in my throat when he grabbed onto my thighs and pulled, tucking my knees against his hips and forcing me to sit. I propped myself up with my hands on his chest and fell back into the rhythm, my hips rolling. 

“Goddamn, you feel so good, look so good riding me.”

My head fell back as his words rippled through me, his fingertips digging into me, his hands moving my body over his. He brought one to my chest, squeezed me roughly, rolled my nipple with his fingers, pinched it. Hard.

“Yes!” He did the same to the other, my pussy clenched around him. 

“You like when it hurts a little, don’t you?”

“I- I don’t know, I guess so- ohhh!” He wrapped a hand around each tit and sunk his fingertips into my flesh, then kneaded them both, ran the pads of his thumbs over the peaks. 

“Fuck, that’s so hot. You’re fucking perfect.”

Yeah, I lost my mind a little bit. My hips bucked wildly in his lap. Perfect? Me? My nails pressed into his skin, I dragged them down his chest, reveling in the sharp hiss sucked between his teeth, the way his own hips lifted from the bed and he fucked into me. Sharp, fast thrusts hitting me so deep I was screaming his name. He sat up and pulled my face to his, kissed me hard, bit down on my bottom lip, and then tipped me backwards.

My head was nearly hanging off the end of the bed, but really, who cares? My ankles locked behind his back and he was slamming his hips into the back of my thighs.

Fuck, was I gonna come? He had to be close. I lifted my head, now very much hanging off the bed, to ask him.

Beep. Click.

His hips stuttered and paused, we both whipped our heads to the door, which was fucking opening. 

Josh appeared, his foot crossed the threshold and he was looking down at his phone. 

“GET OUT!!” We yelled in unison. Josh’s head popped up, his eyes went huge, and then he laughed. 

“Shit, sorry guys.” He started backing out into the hall, the door creaking closed. “About time,” We heard him chuckling to himself and the door clicked behind him.

Jake turned his face back to me and seemed to realize for the first time that I was barely on the mattress. An arm wrapped around my back and he shifted us until I could look him in the eyes.

“What the fuck…” I whispered up at him.

His smile was subtle and affectionate before it stretched to a full grin, and he huffed a laugh.

“There was no fucking way I was stopping.”

I matched his grin and lifted to pull a kiss from his lips. “Good.”

He tucked his face into my neck and began the roll of his body into mine again. I let my hands roam across his back as he kissed and nipped my skin and his thrusts picked up speed. The orgasm that had been teasing me before we were interrupted built again quickly, and Jake was panting in my ear. 

But then… then. A whisper. Low and deep, but a whisper nonetheless. 

My name, my real name, hit my ear and I gasped, right on the edge.

“Come for me. Please come for me.”

How could I say no?

It broke, crashed, consumed me. His name on my lips as I tightened, writhed, and shook for him. 

He didn’t stop, didn’t slow, he chased after me and followed into the flames. My name burned into my flesh by his kisses, a guttural groan as he came inside me. 

Easily the best orgasm I’d ever had. Easily.

Because he’s just a man, albeit an incredibly hot, multiple-orgasm-inducing man, he collapsed on top of me. I let him. I ran my hands over his sweat-dampened hair and the soft skin of his back and we both caught our breath. Then he started giggling. 

I pinched his ass. “What’s so funny, Kiszka?”

His head popped up and he propped himself on an elbow, a wide grin splitting his face in half, gorgeous. “I can’t believe we waited so long to do that, that might’ve been the best sex I’ve ever had.”

We both laughed as I slapped his chest. “Might be?!”

“Okay okay, you’re right.” He looked at me dreamily, his eyes bouncing around my face. “It was the best.”

Because I’m a woman, albeit a mind-blowing sex goddess, I started overthinking. I couldn’t help it! You should’ve seen the way he was looking at me. 

“Jake…” He lifted his eyebrows, I lifted a hand to his face, tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. “What does this mean?”

Those eyebrows knitted together, a quick moment to think that over. Then he kissed me, soft and slow. 

“I don’t know what it means. But I do know this hotel has free breakfast downstairs, so be up and ready by nine.” His smile stretched again, and I couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Oooh, do you think they have French toast? That’s Sam’s favorite.”

He attacked me, tickled me until I had tears in my eyes, kissed me until I was breathless, and fell asleep with his arms around me.

The truth is, I don’t remember the exact moment I fell utterly, completely in love with Jake Kiszka. Maybe you should ask him. 

[stairset]

Aight now that I've slept a bit and am less tired and have had some time to think about it, here is my hopefully coherent enough attempt to get my thoughts across on the Degenerate video, because I'm The Starset Guy and this is like the first major controversy they've ever had and even I have concerns about it and thus feel the need to get my thoughts out there. Cut-off for those who don't wanna scroll past all this cause it ended up being kinda long:

So first off just to get it out of the way: the song itself is great, as is to be expected with Starset. Vocals great, lyrics great, etc. No surprises there. Now to the actually controversial part, the music video. If you even wanna call it a music video, the video title calls it a visualizer instead but whatever. Semantics. Not the point.

So yeah, to start, I'm not exactly a fan of AI "art" for well, all the reasons everyone else has already brought up about it. But as other people have pointed out, in the case of this video there ARE some nuances to its usage that are worth discussing before jumping the gun and canceling the band. So first I'm actually gonna defend it a bit by going over the artistic intention behind it, then also point out the reasonable concerns that people have with it in spite of that intention.

So, I know this band. I know the lore and the narrative and the central themes and all that. The band's story centers around how technology shouldn't be abused by greedy corporate shitheads lest it ruin our society. Literally just a few months ago they released a book where the main antagonist was an AI that gained sentience and tried to enslave humanity. I'm not parasocial enough to pretend that I Know Dustin, but I know what he's about. And he's smart enough that I have to believe he didn't just make a move like this for no reason with no self-awareness. So yeah, I 100% get what the intent is here. As Dustin has said and others have repeated, the AI usage is clearly meant to be "ironic" and satirical, which becomes pretty clear when you actually watch the full video. Essentially it's using AI imagery to make fun of AI images. Real "I used the stones to destroy the stones" moment I guess. Lyrically, the song itself isn't SPECIFICALLY about AI, but it definitely is a big criticism of modern consumerism and commercialism in general, essentially talking about how we feel the need to stuff our faces with corporate-produced shit while our society is slowly falling apart around us. And while AI certainly isn't the sole problem there, it has certainly become a notable aspect of that larger problem, so it makes sense to satirize it to get the larger point across. The visualizer is gross and uncanny to look at on purpose. And it's clearly not trying to trick you into thinking it's NOT AI or anything, not trying to pass as something an actual human made with their own hands. It doesn't want you to be impressed by the visuals, it wants you to be disturbed by them. I compared it to the video for Linkin Park's "Lost" from last year since that was also made with AI visuals and as much as I also love that band and that song I'm still not exactly a fan of that particular choice. But the reason I bring it up is because I do think there's an interesting contrast in how it's being used in these two videos, as with the video for Lost it really did feel like it was using AI just for the sake of using it, riding the current trend, whereas here with Degenerate there's at least an actual reason for it, a reason that one can at least understand even if they don't like or agree with it.

Apparently Dustin's also said that they did pay artists to make the images for the specific purpose of running them through the AI for the video, though didn't really elaborate beyond that. But just based on what we know it does sound like these were consenting artists who knew what they were getting into here and were compensated for it. So it's not like it's a case of just stealing art or trying to replace actual humans to save a few bucks or anything, which is good since that's obviously one of the main concerns with AI in general.

There's also the fact that, as much as I don't like AI shit, the harsh reality is it's not going anywhere anytime soon. Personally if I had a magic button that could indefinitely halt all development on AI stuff until I can be sure that everyone will use it ethically and not abuse it then I would definitely hit that button, but the fact of the matter is that, for better or worse, it's here, it exists, and it will continue to evolve and be used. We can't just un-invent what's already been invented. And I'd argue that specific, limited, one-off uses like this are probably just about the most ethical way to implement it. Though of course I personally would rather this STAY a one-off thing, I absolutely do not want this kind of thing to become like, a regular thing for them. Or a regular thing in general.

But of course this video doesn't exist in a vacuum, there are other nuances here. Because as still more people have pointed out, using AI to make fun of AI is still using it. It's not like the video is in a completely neutral position, just commentating on the situation from afar. Even if it's making fun of AI, the fact that it's using it to do so means it's still feeding that AI, it is now another step forward in the evolution and proliferation of the thing that it's criticizing. One could argue that they maybe could have found a way to poke fun at it without actually using it. There's definitely a certain irony to be discussed in Making Fun Of The Thing By Doing The Thing. Is it being clever and meta? Or is it lacking forethought? Or maybe it's a bit of both. I don't know. Either way it's not exactly the best look, regardless of the intention and thought process behind it. Insert Torment Nexus joke here.

And although I SAID earlier that the satirical intent is pretty clear, it might not be clear to everyone. Even if the video isn't MEANT to set a precedent, it could unintentionally set a precedent anyway by inspiring copycats. Because unfortunately some people are simply too stupid to get obvious satire, especially if they're the ones the satire is aimed at. So it's entirely possible certain people will just see the trippy weird AI visuals and either won't realize or won't care what the the purpose behind them is and will just want to do it themselves because they think it's cool. And then THAT raises the whole question of "how much should you blame the person who made the satire for people being too dumb to get it, especially in cases like this where the satire is incredibly unsubtle and on the nose?" But then that's getting into a whole 'nother topic entirely so I'm not gonna dive into that.

And then of course there's other concerns like how research has shown that AI has a negative effect on the environment. As far as I know THAT particular concern hasn't been addressed so I don't know if they even considered that, but if they didn't then yeah, that's pretty irresponsible and lacking forethought.

There's also just the matter of personal preference, like even if you get that it's satire you might just think that it's not very good satire which is a fair opinion to have. Like personally I just didn't even really enjoy watching the video despite knowing full-well what The Point of it was.

So, in summation, taking all these points into account, I don't think that this particular usage of AI tools is THAT bad. I might even go as far as to say that it's like, fine I guess, at least in isolation. I think many assumed the worst before it came out but I don't think it's worth suddenly denouncing the band or going all "well actually they sucked the whole time and I totally never liked them anyway" or anything like that. Though I'm sure some people will start doing that. I'd say this is a somewhat questionable but not-too-egregious move, that there are legitimate concerns to be had and that I do share those concerns, and as I said I don't want this kind of thing to become the norm for them or for any other band, but I also don't think we should immediately conclude that the band has been Ruined Forever or anything. This kind of thing is a slippery slope, so I guess all we can really do is hope that Dustin doesn't end up falling down it. But that's my take on the whole thing. Maybe I'm being fair and nuanced and unbiased. Or maybe I'm just a hypocrite who's bending over backwards to give my fav the benefit of a doubt. I don't know. All I know is I just wanted to get all this off my chest at once so I can hopefully stop thinking about it and just enjoy the song on its own.

[shushmal]

WIP Wednesday — Steddie Mutual Pining

August in Indiana is hot. Eddie’s hair has grown an extra four inches since that fateful spring break, and Steve keeps threatening him with scissors everytime Eddie complains about being sweaty, but it’s fine. It’s great actually. Because ‘87 is going to be his year, and so far, it’s been amazing. Eddie’s kept a steady job down at the radio station, works weekends stocking the grocery store, and has had more money than drugs in his possession for the first time in his life. His band is doing well, his friends are doing well, and Eddie has fallen in love. And he’s almost positive Steve’s falling in love with him back.

If only Steve knew that, anyways.

Which—Eddie is working on it, alright, he is doing his best. He is going to be Steve Harrington’s bisexual awakening, and he’s going to lord it over Robin’s head for the rest of her life, all the way to the nursing home the three of them are going to terrorize together. It’s going to be amazing.

Because Eddie has turned Steve’s head. He knows he has. Because, Steve likes Eddie’s leather jacket, his ripped pants, and his rings, but Steve also likes the cropped AC/DC shirt, the eyeliner, the tattoo Eddie got over last Thanksgiving that sits low on his hip, peeking over the waist of his pants. He likes watching Eddie play guitar, on stage and off. He likes Eddie’s music in the beemer, he likes Eddie’s favorite diner, and he likes to listen to Eddie talk.

Eddie knows all this because he’s been taking meticulous notes for over a year now. 

Ever since Steve’s whirlwind weekend fling with Nancy in April ‘86 when Eddie had still been handcuffed to a hospital bed, and the two of them had looked at each other after and finally realized, “Oh god, I definitely don’t want to have six nuggets with you.”

Ever since Steve had sat down in Eddie’s hospital room post-second-break-up with Nancy Wheeler, and had said, “Dude, once we manage to spring you, we’re going on a road trip.”

And they had that summer, when Eddie’s name was finally cleared and the hospital had finally released him and his physical therapist had finally given him the green light. Eddie and Steve had thrown a few things into the back of his van and disappeared for the better part of a month. They’d made it all the way to California, sleeping in the back or in empty fields, before their money ran out and Steve had had to call his parents to wire enough cash for them to get home.

He could have stayed out there, Eddie thinks, with the beach and sand. Eddie could have driven up to Portland, made a new band, and he could have never thought about Hawkins-fucking-Indiana again.

Then Steve had hung up the phone, his lips pinched and bloodless, a wrinkle in his brow. But when he had turned to Eddie, his face cracked into the smile Eddie was sure he was going to fall in love with by Christmas, and he had asked, “Ready to go home?”

[storiesforallfandoms]

tale as old as time ~ eminem

word count: 3008

request?: yes!

“AHHH I love that this open request ... ok here goes ... Let's say, the reader goes to the Jimmy Fallon show or whatever and tells her story of how she, the reader (singer) and Marshall met at the beginning from the 2000s where there was a lot of flirtation between them at that time and they reconnected after he was sober and she divorced her first husband, they went public and fans and people were happy and had a daughter ... and add something else I feel something is missing here”

description: in which they went through some tough times in life until they finally came together years later

pairing: eminem x female!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of the rough parts of marshall’s life, mentions of cheating

masterlist (one, two)

The crowd cheered as you walked out to the live band’s music. You smiled at Jimmy and gave him a quick hug before sitting down in the chair across from his desk.

“Welcome back!” Jimmy said.

“Thank you! It’s good to be back. This is my first talk show in a while.”

“Since the birth of your daughter?”

You nodded with a smile on your face as the audience cheered again. “Since before she was born actually. I stopped when I was roughly seven months pregnant so that I could focus on the pregnancy and surviving the last few months.”

“And how is she doing?”

“She’s good! She’s a very happy baby. She rarely cries or fusses. She mostly sleeps through the night now which is a blessing.”

“And new dad is doing well?”

“Oh, he’s doing more than okay. He’s done this before so it’s nothing new for him at all.”

“It’s so crazy because no one even knew you two were together until you announced you were pregnant. Then you were suddenly married for like a year and you were about to have a baby. How did that happen?”

You smiled to yourself as you remembered back when you met Marshall for the first time.

~~~~~~

It was the early 2000s and you were still struggling to break into the music industry. You had written, produced, and recorded a short EP in hopes of finding a record label to sign you, or that the EP would sell enough that you could be an independent artist.

Neither happened, and you were left discouraged and broke.

You couldn’t remember how exactly you came to meet Marshall. It was a party in LA with a bunch of prominent musicians and producers. Realistically, there was no reason for you to be there, but you were. It was probably another attempt at getting yourself signed to a real record label. You couldn’t remember for sure, but you could remember the handsome, bleach blonde stranger who approached you.

“Want to get some fresh air?”

You were speechless by his good looks, so all you could do was nod.

You followed him out the doors into the front garden of the place where the party was held. You took a deep breath, grateful for the cold air. It was a stark juxtaposition to the warm, stuffy feeling you felt inside the party.

The handsome stranger chuckled. “You looked like you needed that.”

“I did,” you said. “All these producers in there, I felt like I was going to pass out if any of them even spoke to me.”

“You looked a little out of place there. No offense.”

You shook your head. “None taken. I am very out of place here. I don’t even know why I’m here.”

“I’d assume you’re here for the same reason the rest of us are: to kiss ass so our music is released and our careers are successful.”

The two of you laughed together. The weight of the night felt like it had been lifted from your shoulders. After spending most of the night on your own, you were glad to talk to someone who didn’t seem like a stuck up, big time musician.

“My name is Marshall, by the way,” he said.

“(Y/N). It’s nice to meet you.”

The both of you talked for a while about what brought you to the party. Marshall told you that he was a rapper who had recently been signed with Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine. He was there that night mainly to make an appearance leading up to his first album coming out, although he wanted to be home with his daughter instead of at a “stuck up Hollywood party” (his words).

The mention of his daughter sparked your interest, and caused you to feel a tug in your chest for some reason. “You have a daughter?”

His face let up as he pulled his wallet from his pocket. “Yeah, her name is Hailie.”

He showed you the picture he kept of the little girl in his wallet. It was a picture of him holding a toddle that looked like a mirror image of him. You smiled at it, but still felt a little sad at seeing it.

Why am I upset that this man I literally just met is likely a family man?

“What about you?” he asked as he pocketed his wallet again. “What brings you to a big Hollywood music party?”

“Desperation,” you admitted. “I’m trying to get myself signed, to very little avail.”

“It’s not easy to get yourself signed and out there. It’s a lot of hard work and a lot of rejection.”

“You’re telling me. I spent so much of my savings to make this stupid demo EP and no one will even listen to it.”

“Wait, you made a whole EP on your own?”

“Yeah. I’ve been writing songs since I was a freshman, so when it came to pick one to record a demo with I had trouble. I ended up just making all of them into an EP. I was hoping I could sell it independently if I couldn’t get signed.”

“Do you have any copies with you?”

“Not tonight.”

Marshall pulled a pen from his pocket and grabbed your hand. You watched in confusion as he wrote something on it.

“That’s my address in Detroit,” he said. “Mail me a copy when you can. I want to hear it.”

You were so shocked that you weren’t sure what to say. You just nodded in response.

You spent the rest of the night with Marshall, just talking and enjoying his company. When you noticed the other guests were beginning to leave, you felt a little down. You didn’t want the night to end. You wanted to stay here and spend more time with Marshall. The more you got to know him, the more you found yourself growing close to him. You hoped he was feeling the same way about you.

“I guess we should get going before they kick us out of here,” he said.

You tried not to let your disappointment show. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Do you have a way out of here?”

You nodded. “I drove myself here, so my car is parked somewhere among that chaos. What about you?”

“Dre has a ride for me.”

Your shoulders slumped a little, but if Marshall noticed he didn’t say anything. “Well, it was nice to meet you. Thanks for keeping me company during this. If you hadn’t approached me, I probably would’ve gone home hours ago in a much worse mood than I’m currently in.”

“I’m glad I talked to you, too. You’re really cool, (Y/N).”

You smiled and put a hand out towards him, a lame attempt to stall having to part ways. You were shocked when Marshall ignored your handshake and instead brought you into a hug. You took in his warmth and the sweet scent that was coming off of him. It was so inviting that you wished this moment would last forever.

When Marshall pulled away, you both started to walk off in your own directions. Before you could get too far away, Marshall called over his shoulder, “Don’t forget to send me that EP!”

“I won’t!” you called back.

When Marshall was mostly out of sight, you excitedly raced back to your car. You checked your hand to make sure you hadn’t smudged the address he had given you before turning on your car and heading back to your apartment.

You were extremely glad you hadn’t discarded all the extra discs of your EP that hadn’t sold like you originally planned. You dug the box full of them out of your closet and took one to send to Marshall. You decided to include a little note with it as a way of hinting at him that you wanted to keep in touch beyond your moment at the party.

“I hope you enjoy the product of many weekends staying home to write songs and the majority of the money I had been saving since I was 16 years old. If you have any notes, or you just want to talk in general, here’s my number (xxx) xxx-xxxx”

You stuck the note onto the album case before packaging it and writing the address Marshall had given to you. You made sure it write it very clearly so that it wouldn’t get lost in the mail. The next morning, you got up and mailed the package, excitement running through you at the anticipation of Marshall calling you once he got it.

But he never did. You waited weeks and weeks, and soon those weeks became months and months. No calls, no messages, no nothing.

You would’ve been disappointed if you hadn’t finally gotten signed to a record label and finally broke out onto the music scene. And if you hadn’t met your first husband in that time.

~~~~~~

Years passed and your career was thriving. You were one of the top pop artists, the most desired to collaborate with or to go see in concert. It was the type of success you had never even dreamed of when you were sat in your bedroom writing songs as a teenager.

You didn’t cross paths with Marshall again for a very long time. For the most part, you had managed to forget all about him. Of course you were constantly seeing his name in the media or hearing his voice on the radio. He had become one of the most successful rappers of all time since the night you two had met all those years ago, so it was hard to completely avoid him. But you had pushed that night out of your mind for the most part. You figured if it meant so little to him that he didn’t even call you or anything, that it didn’t need to mean that much to you either.

It wasn’t until the beginning of the 2010s that you ran into Marshall again. You were on the way to a photoshoot when you decided to stop into a near by fast food place and grab something to eat. It was mostly empty due to it being so early in the morning, but you still kept your head down in hopes of not being recognized and swarmed.

You were just receiving your order when a familiar voice asked, “(Y/N)?”

You turned around and nearly dropped your bag of food on the floor.

Marshall.

He was much different than the man you had met all those years ago. His bleach blonde hair was grown out into his natural brown color, his face had aged slightly but not by much, and he had considerably more tattoos than he had that night you met. But, at the same time, he still looked the same somehow.

“Hey,” you said. “It’s...uh...it’s nice to see you.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you too.”

The tension could be cut with a knife. It lingered in the air for a long time before one of the workers asked you to step aside so they could serve another customer that was waiting.

“Do you...do you want to sit for a while, maybe?” Marshall asked. “Maybe catch up?”

You debated on telling him no, that you were running late for an important photoshoot, but neither of those things were true. You still had plenty of time to get to your photoshoot, and it was just for a magazine article that was being written about you. You’d also be lying if you said you weren’t curious as to why he hadn’t called you before now.

So, you both found an empty table tucked away from the rest of the restaurant and sat down. You opened your bag and started to eat the food you had ordered, an attempt to stall having to talk to him as long as you could.

“I’m glad your career took off after,” Marshall said, breaking the silence first. “Your music is really good. You deserve all the hype you’re getting.”

“Thanks,” you responded. “You’re not doing too bad yourself.”

He shrugged. “I feel like I’m given maybe too much praise, but I’ll take it while I still can. Not everyone is lucky to have a continuously great career that spans as long as mine has so far.”

You wanted to ask him so bad why he hadn’t called. You wanted to ask if he ever even listened to the EP, or if it had gotten lost in the mail and he didn’t receive it. You wanted to know why it took so long for the two of you to get back in touch.

He answered one of your unasked questions for you when he said, “I did listen to that demo EP after.”

“Ah, so it did make it to you,” you said.

“Yeah it did. It was really good, especially for something that you put together on your own.”

“Thanks.” There was a brief pause before you forced yourself to ask, “Did you ever read the note I sent with it?”

“I did.”

“Then why didn’t you ever call?”

The question was out there, but you wished desperately to take it back. Marshall sat back in his chair and let out a sigh and you had a feeling you may not like the answer he was about to give you.

“I should’ve,” he finally said after a while. “You didn’t deserve to be left waiting like that. I really wanted to call you, I swear. But I was...I was really fucked up (Y/N). I had so many issues, so much that I had to work through. I was in a shitty relationship with Hailie’s mom, I was legally fighting my own mother, I lost my best friend, I developed a really bad addiction that almost killed me. It was so much, but all I wanted was to call you and to talk to you because that one night that we had together made me feel the most normal that I had ever felt since getting signed with Dre. But I couldn’t bring you into the life I was living. It wouldn’t be fair to you. You deserved better than what I was at that point in time.”

You sat in silence, taking in what Marshall had told you. You had heard he had gone to rehab after nearly dying from a drug overdose, but you hadn’t known just how bad things were at the time. It made sense why Marshall didn’t call you. There was no way you could’ve known all of this, but now you felt bad for being so upset over him not getting in touch with you. It seemed like such a trivial thing now considering what Marshall had gone through.

“And it seems like you got that better person,” Marshall added. “I heard you got married a few years back.”

You let out a humorless laugh. “Yeah, no that definitely was not better. The fucker cheated on me a year into our marriage. I served him the divorce papers immediately after I found out. Apparently he’s still with the bitch though, so good for them I guess.”

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N).”

You shook your head. “It’s fine. It’s in the past. I wrote an incredibly well received album about it.”

Marshall chuckled at your joke and you smiled at him. All the tension had eased off between you and now it felt like no time had passed between that first night that you met. You felt like you were falling back into those conversations, into that playfulness, into that moment of happiness you had experienced with him.

“What about you and Kim?” you asked. “How are things there?”

Marshall waved away your comment. “Long over. We’re working on being more civil with one another for the girls’ sake, but there’s nothing romantic there anymore. There hasn’t been for a long time.”

You felt your heart flutter. So, we’re both single at the same time.

No, wait, I can’t be thinking like that. We’re only just reconnecting. It’s way too soon to be trying to jump his bones again. Besides, I don’t even know if he’d like me like that.

As if reading your thoughts, Marshall asked, “Are you busy tonight?”

You shook your head in response, but then stopped. “Wait, I mean I do have a photoshoot in about an hour, but I don’t think it’ll last too long into the night.”

“Do you want to - I don’t know - see a movie or something?”

“I-I’d love to.”

Marshall took his phone from his pocket and passed it to you. “Here, program your number in.”

You did as he asked and passed the phone back to him. “Do you promise to actually call me this time?”

He chuckled and nodded his head.

You were reluctant to part away again, but you eventually had to in order to get to your photoshoot on time. You bid farewell to Marshall and left the restaurant, a new bounce in your step.

~~~~~~

“And that’s the story,” you said to Jimmy. “We went on a couple of dates, made things official. He proposed about two years ago and we got married in secret shortly after. We wanted to keep things lowkey because Marshall is such a private person, but it’s hard to keep a pregnancy quiet when I found out just as my next album was in the works meaning I’d be doing interviews and potentially a tour with a developing baby bump.”

“Yeah, I think if you came out here with a bump out of nowhere after seemingly being single for so long, we’d all have many questions,” Jimmy said. “But that’s such a cute story.”

“It’s a tale as old as time. Girl meets boy, girl likes boy, girl and boy lose touch as their careers take off, girl and boy reconnect and start a romance.”

“There’s some incredibly specific parts in there, but yeah overall it’s basically a classic love story.”

[chubbycelebs]

The Weight of Fame (part 3)

As the months went by, the pounds kept adding up. Harry had really gone from fit, toned and in shape to now a mound of lard. His abs had stretched into a belly, now extended so far over his crotch, it was impossible for him to see his own dick. His chest and thighs grew thicker and bigger, pushing the seams of his clothes. But even though Harry now has a huge hairy body, he loved it. The feeling of a tight stomach after stuffing his belly all day, clothes he used to love bursting off his jiggly belly. There wasn't anything that Harry missed about being skinny, because being fat was so much better.

One morning as Harry put on a shirt, not even bothering to button it up already knowing his belly would bust the buttons off, he became intreigued by his weight. He hadn't actually stepped on the scales since putting all this weight on. He knew in his peak he was about 150lbs but he was wondering how much he had gained since those days.

Harry pulled the scales out and stood and looked at them for a while. Did he want to put a number on his weight gain? Did he really want to know just how big he had gotten or would that make him self concious of his huge size. As Harry rubbed his gut, he decided to give his fat friend Louis a call.

Since their last long phone call, the two had kept in contact over messages. Harry Loved talking to Louis, not even about getting fat but just everyday things. In fact when he thought about it, the two had hardly bought up the fact they both had stuffed their bellies fat. Harry decided to call Louis over his concerns about his big gut. He pressed to face time and after a few seconds of waiting, he answered.

Harry on his screen, even though he was not showing off his belly, still looked very chubby, his cheeks and double chin were becoming very prominate. On the other hand however, Louis looked how he did when they were in the band. Harry thought that he must have gained mostly in the belly and not in the face.

"You're alright Harry!" Louis said smiling, very happy to see his chubby friend on screen again.

"Yeah I'm great thank you! I've been eating pretty well" Harry said with a chuckle, pointing the camera at his belly, giving his gut a shake. Louis laughed at this and blushed slightly but then his face dropped slightly. "Whats up?"

Louis looked down at this body and then pointed the camera down. Harry did not see a big bulbous stomach like his, instead Louis body had gone back to how it was back in the band. "I had to lose it all Harry. My PR team said that if I was to be fat when I release my album, I'll lose my sex appeal and this album can't flop. I'm sorry Harry." Harry didn't know what to say. Now every member of One Direction had released music apart from him and he was still a fat slob. "I'll probably gain it back one day Harry, don't worry. I enjoyed being fat like I said, I just need this to go well." Harry understood but couldn't help but be disappointed with the outcome. He hung up the phone and plopped him self on the sofa, eating a tub of ice cream. Harry sat there filling his belly up bigger and wondered if this would last. Can he really stay this big? Would he have to lose it like Louis did?

As he began to spiral he then thought, why is he worrying about that now? He is still not close to the album being done, he still doesn't need to see anyone in public yet, and he still had a few months left before his PR team would ask for his first solo project plans. In the moment Harry decided to give in, and get as big as he could. He didn't know if this could last a few months or years but he knew he wanted to get as huge as possible. And so Harry did just that.

Harry walked to the mirror and looked at himself the next morning. His unshaven face and long hair showed how little he cared for his appearance. He then lifted his shirt up to reveal his big hair belly. He stood and looked at his fat body in the mirror, still finding it hard to believe that he was really this big. He placed his hands on his gut, gave it a violent shake and said "Lets get you nice and big" with a final big slap as he went to the kitchen.

For the next few months Harry spent every waking moment filling his lard covered body with greasy fattening food. He was expanding from every direction, unstoppable endlessly stuffing his gut. And he loved it. The feeling of his body pushing further outwards, the constant jiggling and movement of the fat. If he could get bigger faster he would because he loved this feeling so much.

In between the stuffing and playing with him self, Harry was inspired to keep playing new music and descovering his sound. It seemed that the more he expanded the easier it was for him to make new music. It took the pressure off him when he sat down at the piano and could feel his belly pressed against it.

Harry had now grown out of his clothes apart from his grey sweats. Everyday he'd walk around just in his underwear or jogging bottoms if it was cold. His fat covered body kept the rest of his body warm. Its huge size made sure to keep his privates covered as well.

As the final month of his break began to come to a close, he was also finishing up his album and all the songs he wanted on it. He called his manager and arranged a meeting for the last week of the month. Harry didn't even think to warn his manager of his change in appearance. He had significantly changed since he was last seen by anyone. He had truly never even thought to get this big let alone actually get to this size. He was most defenatly obese if not morbidly. But Harry loved it. He felt so relaxed and happy with his body and comfortable with his lifestyle. This however was all about to change.

Sorry that this next part has taken so long to come out. I've been very busy over the last week or so but I hope to get this story done this week. I hope you guys are still enjoying this story and where it is going. The story will be taking a different turn in the next part so I hope you enjoy that. Thank you!

[captainzigo]

since I have been making my little pony comics for the past few months, I have basically forgotten what every single one of my duckverse comic prompts means. I had a big list full of one sentence prompts for duckverse comics that I was going to make, and I was reading through it yesterday, because I thought about making one. I was surprised to find out that I have no idea what any of them mean. instead of just deleting the list, I have decided to share with you. For what good it will do you. Think of this as a little shout out to the people who followed me for duckverse content. i havent forgotten about you. it’s also a little peek in my twisted mind. my horrible creation process. a behind the scenes look from hell. the list of prompts is below the break

max college fund

launchpad rescue hero

costco 22¢ per bite

house of mouse

door to darkness

because i’m hispanic?

donald cousins catch and release

fish wife

the greatest skateboard trick in the seven seas

backyardagins movie

evil versions boy band

gladstone gay moms

the poor part of town

private army of freaks vs my boys

you own the town. you are politics - what do you think taxes are for - not gladstone bail - id be doing everyone a favor

kids table is great actually

donald cry gold swim

beautiful gold moon

villains table

these lovebirds

gladstone can’t read

gladstone hyper specific thrift store shirt

louie seeing anyone right now?

managed my uncle’s finances

june dolls episode

may louie webs spy episode

house of mouse christmas hdl want to come

propeller cap start to turn. big wind. its a helicopter landing. thanks babe

double gay batteries

daisy likes donald snoring

if you can understand anything he says then yeah!

sora. quack pack. bald monkey

i respect your pronouns. i dont not respect YOU scrooge

why are you friends with my rival’s girlfriend

we’re sisters now too???

The dancing hacker - do you know how hard it is to lucid dream

are you guys playing dancing hacker?

how did you do that? Those dice were rigged i mean.

you guys were supposed to prepare a musical number every session

Lady in pink but with a knife

girl boss? No girl lady. But not a girl.

sephirof at the door. never seen Donald that serious in my life.

I have a superhero alter ego - like super Grover?

louie x robin the frog

daffy: i’m getting you a job in Hollywood, kid! You gonna make big times. Why? uh… i’m friends with your mom.

Duckburg community college is the only community college that does dance scholarship

duckberg community ducks, and the Duckburg University geese

in helicopter: you ever going to get tired of having our dates like this? no never.

donald take responsibility for our son! panchito what

babe your costume is terrible. why are you still in a sailor hat

tasha austin gay lesbian solidarity

hey webby! *glittery hands*

webby diary

shake for trust? glitter on hand. body slam

why did t you tell me your girlfriend is a pilot? tasha said i shouldn’t tell you because of what happened to you pilot ex. he’s still alive!

pablo: sleeper agents be like time for my next mission

CHRISTMAS GIFTS

WHATS UP T-BOYS?

donald’s boyfriends what does gladstone have against gay people

donald you should wingman for me. i thought you were gay

dugan duck is your secret kid isn’t he

huey ponytail

donald has three boyfriends why can’t i have two

woops i mexed up their super powers - let’s go, t boys! i didn’t make them trans! they were like that before, right?

your brother donald has like five partners. yeah and i’m not my brother donald. you’re right. i should date your brother donald

dewey damn girl your ass phat what are your pronouns. katy nun/ya

tying normie trans girl to a chair turbo pablo

don’t worry. the promise ring is just a tracking device

punch buggy gets steadily more and more violent

dewey’s many licenses

duck twins cobwebs

beaks: help! #911

katy can not entertain in her tiny trailer

uno gaydar donald i finally give you a job and you’re being gay on the clock??

when mom comes in and you have to hide your DS under your pillow

HDL Tulin

HDL chart

[spark-my-nature]

Follow Me Down - DRW

Part One

Chapter word count: 6.1K

Summary: The boys are home from tour. You've missed them. Especially him. Friends to lovers, fluff fluff fluff.

Warnings: Language, suggestive themes, alcohol, drunk silly boys. (Next part will be smut, this part is fluffy)

Read part two (Also linked at the end)

The heavy bass of somebody’s playlist vibrated through the wood of the front deck as you hopped up the steps. The door shut, and knowing the party was in the basement, you silently snickered in gratitude for the woods that surrounded Josh’s place, and the prevention of immediate neighbors that it provided. 

You never knew whether to knock in these situations. Nobody would hear you, but you could never shake the feeling of intrusion if you didn’t at least rap your knuckles against the door before barging in, and so that’s what you did. You glanced back at the street lined with cars before pushing the door open. Immediately, the volume of the music assaulted your ears and you blinked a few times, shaking your head as you looked around. A couple of people gave you nods and smiles in the kitchen and entryway, but the basement door beckoned you down into the heart of the welcome-back celebrations. 

Returning friendly hellos to the few faces you recognized as you stepped over shoes, your eyes caught on the pair of black lace-up boots that wedged the basement door open. 

He’s here, then. Of course he is, it’s his own band’s “welcome back from tour” party, you were expecting him to be. Nothing warranted the surge of nervous energy that the sight of his boots kicked up in you, he’s been your friend since middle school. Doesn’t that make it even worse somehow, though?

You hadn’t laid eyes on Danny in the couple of months he’d been touring the states. Texting goes without saying, and occasional postcards got displayed proudly, tucked in the mirror of your dresser, each one signed with, “Love, Danny”. God, you wished he meant that word the way you wanted him to, though. 

Already, your palms felt sweaty, and you inwardly groaned at your ridiculous nervousness. This was so stupid, you were acting like you’d never seen a boy before. 

One as gorgeous as Danny, though? 

You swallowed and shook your hair out, wiping your hands on your skirt as you stepped down into the LED strip-lighted basement. The air chilled slightly, despite the many bodies crammed into the space. Josh had really made the basement an amazingly welcome party space. You’d almost forget it was even a basement, with cozy rugs, groovy lights and various speakers, TV screens, couches and a pool table. Friends of the guys made good use of the bar on the far wall, and as you scanned the room, you spotted all three Kiszka brothers around a newly added air-hockey table. Jake was already slurring British encouragements as Sam and Josh trash-talked each other as they repeatedly slammed the little puck across the surface. You covered your lips with your hand, hiding your giggle as you watched the boys, walking blindly towards the bar when you collided with a firm, tall body. 

“Shit- sorry,” you started, your head turning quickly towards the stranger you’d affronted with your clumsiness, when your heart skipped a beat with both relief and a whole new set of nerves. 

“Oh my god, hey you!” Danny beamed, turning and opening his arms to you. Your heart twisted some more, stepping into him as delicately as you could, giggling girlishly as he squished you against his warm body. “Hi, Danny,” you shyly returned. His cologne gently took over the forefront of your senses, combining with the inebriating feeling of his solid arms so tight around you. 

“I missed you, I hoped you’d be here, I was actually just telling Dave- uh,” he chuckled, releasing you from his bear hug, and your stomach twisted as you noticed his faint blush. “But you’re here! You came, I’m so glad.” 

You playfully nudged his socked foot with your converse sneaker. “Me too, it’s been so long!” You finally mustered the courage to take a good look at his face. 

Oh, huge mistake. 

He was beaming down at you, eyes shining with slight inebriation and affection. His lightly freckled tanned face looked so clear, soft… skin stretched tight around his sharp jawline, and his hair- oh god, his hair, the natural curls he was blessed with were clearly flourishing under his strict care routine. Perfect, shiny strands twisted adorably around his, frankly, kissable cheeks. 

Your face felt hot, even as you returned his wide smile. His infuriatingly long lashes batted as his eyes roamed your figure. You shifted your weight, toying with the hem of your skirt as he analyzed you in return. Clearing his throat, he turned his head, casually scanning the room as his cheeks coloured pink. “You look great,” he offered, seeming almost shy. 

You cocked your head curiously, unsure if he looked nervous or if you were seeing what wasn’t there in your hopefulness. Regardless, you knocked back, “So do you… have you been working out, or is it just killing it on the drums that gave you these?”

You reached up and squeezed his biceps gently, keeping your face light but inwardly screeching. Where did this come from? That was almost… smooth?

Danny’s smile widened again, briefly glancing at your hand on his arm before returning his gaze to your eyes. “Oh- uhhh, drums, I guess. Josh is more of the gym-bro, y’know,” he laughed softly. 

His eyes traced your face as you giggled, an expression you couldn’t quite place shaping his features. Curiosity? …Interest? Whatever it was, you never wanted him to stop. 

Letting your hand skim his bare skin as you dropped your arm, you nodded. “Ahh. Yeah, you can tell him how much the girls on twitter love the payoff from that, then,” you giggled, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively. 

Danny blinked, then snorted a laugh, his gorgeous nose crinkling. “Oh, God, no I will not be sharing that with him. Dude’s head would explode,” he shook his head, glancing across the room to the other curly headed band member. 

You followed his eyes, and you both watched the brothers furiously smack the air-hockey puck back and forth until finally Sam sunk it into Josh’s net. Josh mimicked snapping something over his knee in faux-rage as Sam wiggled out his little happy-dance. Jake roared unintelligibly, adding his two cents to the chaos. 

Snickering at the display, you turned back to face Danny, finding his eyes already stuck on you. You hadn’t noticed his gaze, because his face was still turned to the Kiszkas. He was looking at you from the corner of his eye, as though trying to check you out discreetly, and he blushed, bring his drink up to his lips to sip. Butterflies twisted in your belly at the thought, shuffling your feet awkwardly. Bringing a hand up to brush your hair over one of your shoulders, a nervous habit, you caught Danny’s eyes returning to scan your exposed neck. 

“I, uhh, I’m gonna grab a drink-“ You started, flustered, and Danny jumped in, nodding as he swallowed hastily. 

“Yeah, ‘course. I’ll catch you in a bit?” he finished. Nodding, you grinned through the pang of disappointment you felt. 

“For sure,” you answered, making your way to the bar. You hadn’t seen the boy in nearly three months, did you seriously expect him to follow you around the party all night? Shaking your head at the ridiculous notion as you made your drink, you then turned as you heard slurred rambling voices getting louder as the source approached. 

Before you could fully turn around, an eager Sam Kiszka barreled into you at full force. You barely saved your drink as you stumbled, laughing at the barrage of affection from your friend. “Sammyyyyy,” you giggled, letting out a strained grunt as he squeezed your middle tightly. 

“Hello lovely!” His long arms released you as he grabbed a fresh glass from the bar. “I missed you, but you’re here and I don’t have to miss you anymore,” he informed you happily. You giggled, nodding your agreement at his logic. “Indeed, how astute of you. I missed you too, Sammy, you have fun on tour?” 

He nodded, throwing back a tequila shot before answering. “Always,” he swallowed, raspy from the drink. “But,” he started to smirk, leaning in conspiratorially, “there’s this absolute smokeshow I’ve been chatting with for a couple weeks, and she came tonight,” he whispered. You looked around, and Sam discreetly gestured to the, truly, beautiful dark haired girl leaning against a wall by the music set-up. You let out a soft, “Ooooo,” nodding your appreciation. Sam furrowed his brow in emphasis, “yeah.”

You giggled, “D’you show me her for some competition or did you want some wingman support?”

Sam shot his eyes over to you, squinting. “You keep away from her, she’d pick you over me in a heartbeat,” he pleaded. You snorted, shoving his shoulder. “Oh shut up, she’s literally staring at you right now.” 

Sam’s head whirled around to the girl in question and you yanked him back around before he could embarrass the both of you. “Sam,” you hissed, trying to look casual, “You are the least subtle person I know.” 

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah, well,” he focused back on you. As best his half-in-the-bag self could, anyway. “Listen, here’s the plan.”

You nodded, feeling like you were back in middle school, planning your escape from Chemistry class to go practice some music with he and Danny again. Sam was always your co-conspirator, and it made your heart feel full with affection as that never changed with time. 

“Jake’s gonna suggest we play spin-the-bottle-“ 

His explanation was interrupted by the snort of laughter you let out, quickly covering your laugh with your hand. He glared at you, putting his hands on his hips. “What??”

“Spin the bottle? You’re actually thirteen years old, Sam,” you giggled. “Continue.”

He huffed, “That’s basically all I’ve got anyway. I’m just hoping the bottle gods are on my side tonight.” 

You shook your head with a fond smile, “Alright, alright. What do you need me for then?” 

He shrugged. “Just have my back, alright? Like if it lands between her and someone else, you can like help make the,” he air quoted, “judgement call. Also, everyone is definitely gonna laugh at the suggestion, so I need you to be on board, help convince them.” 

You rolled your eyes, knocking your shoulder into his arm, his few extra inches of height preventing the knock against his shoulder like you meant. “Fine. Tell Jake to go ahead.”

Sam nodded, looking around casually as he pursed his lips into a whistle. You bit back a laugh as Jake’s head turned across the room, a subtle nod following. 

“Friends, family, and ffffucking americans,” Jake ‘Oliver Reed’ Kiszka began, “Anybody up for a game?” A few chuckled agreements from around the room encouraged him, and he picked up the empty beer bottle from the table beside him. “Shall we give this a spin and get inappropriate?” 

One of the boy’s old friends from Frankenmuth High spoke up, “Are you suggesting spin the bottle?” His tone was good-natured as he teased, “Lonely on tour, were we?”

Jake pointed an aggressive finger his way, half-staggering as he retorted, “Nonsense! I would never leave your mum unsatisfied.”

Groans and laughter echoed around, and you snickered, watching the object of Sam’s desires giggle and look down awkwardly, tucking her hair behind her ear and glancing Sam’s way. 

Sam smirked at her, out of the corner of your eye, and you caught him winking at her. 

Right about then, realization hit you like a truck. 

Danny was here. He would most certainly be swept into playing this game too. The chances were low but… it was possible Sam wouldn’t be the only one kissing their crush tonight. 

The night was getting more middle school-ish by the minute. 

Several minutes later, about ten party guests sat in a circle around Josh’s fluffy rug, a serving tray propping up the empty bottle at the center. Danny sat not-quite-across from you, Sam and a few others between the two of you. You nervously kept your hands in your lap, weighing down your skirt as you sat cross-legged. Risking a peek at him through your lashes, he was staring at his lap. You were unable to decipher his expression, and you didn’t like it. Taking a sip from your drink, you zoned back in to the game. Jake spun first, the group collectively “ooooo”-ing as it slowed and then rested pointed… at Sam. 

The loudest laugh came from Josh, and for once, that was saying something. The circle was hysterical, falling to pieces as Jake crawled forward with his lips puckered at his little brother. Sam yelped as realization struck, backing away on his hands and knees, but not fast enough. Jake smacked his hands on both of Sam’s cheeks, and tugged his head towards his lips. He planted a wet, loud smacking kiss in the centre of Sam’s forehead, Sam hollering his protest all the while. 

When the boys had settled back into position, you looked over at Danny, eyes shining with tears from the laughing fit. He wiped the corner of his eye, giggling, and his gaze caught on yours. You both shared a wordless moment of mirth at the brothers’ expenses before your attention was pulled away by Sam furiously wiping his forehead and reaching for the bottle. 

He spun it, perhaps way harder than was necessary, but you couldn’t blame him for being riled up. Unbelievably, it came to a stop between Danny and the girl of Sam’s desires. A hushed, “Ohh,” came from the group, sounding straight out of a nickelodeon show, and you watched Sam’s face blow out with shock. You also happened to catch Danny whispering with the girl in question. You shoved Sam forward, disguising it as a pat on the back, and settling back, curiously watching the interaction across the circle. 

Unable to let the opportunity to torment Sam escape him, Danny butted forward as Sam entered the circle, less than gracefully smacking his lips against Sam’s. 

Once again the group erupted in cackles, Danny scrambling backwards out of range from Sam’s swinging arms. Danny fell onto his back in his gap in the circle, laughing at the ceiling as Sam groaned his complaints, wiping his lips. 

Stubborn as ever, fueled perhaps by the persistent little-sibling need to prove himself and the denial of his kiss, Sam refocused on his crush, caving in and laughing along. She leaned towards him tentatively, and the two of them crawled towards each other, meeting in a soft kiss. She went to pull back but Sam chased her lips into another brief kiss, earning a collective giggle and a few whoops, from you included. 

When he settled back beside you, his cheeks were flushed pink, a silly grin painted across his lips. You shoved into him jovially, giving him a teasing smirk, which he chuckled at and shoved you back. 

You looked back over at Danny, who was conversing quietly with Sam’s girl again. Arguing, it seemed. Jokingly, but definitely arguing. As Danny huffed shyly, and crawled forward to the bottle, you realized she had given Danny her turn. Suddenly your heart thudded wildly under your ribcage. 

Your eyes were locked on the bottle as it spun, seemingly in slow motion. You closed your eyes before it stopped, heart sinking at the crash of realization that you were about to watch Danny kiss somebody else. 

The thought felt like a stab to the heart, twisting as the seconds ticked on. 

Then you felt Sams hand slap your shoulder, and his whisper near your ear, “Dude, open your eyes… are you okay?”

Blushing, you opened your eyes, looking at him in vague panic, but following his pointed nudge towards the bottle, you found it pointed directly at you. 

Shut the fuck up. 

Fight or flight coursed through your system, and you looked up at an equally stunned Daniel sitting across from you. His eyes lifted to meet yours, and this time, it felt like time was rushing by. Move, your brain screamed, kiss him for fuck’s sake!

Swallowing, you tentatively smiled at Danny, and your heart fluttered as his lips turned up in return. He looked hopeful, pleased even at your reaction. You pushed forward onto your hands and knees, crawling towards him and he mirrored you. Your face neared his, and you both paused for a moment in front of each other. You grinned, raising your brows at him in what you hoped was a playful grin. He let out a soft breathy chuckle and leaned in, lips parting as he closed in. 

Your eyes fluttered shut. And oh, sweet gods of love, his lips warmly met yours. Your head absolutely spun as you felt his lips press into yours, tenderly moving in the sweetest softest kiss you’d ever experienced in your life. All your suspicions were confirmed, he had the most kissable mouth in the world, and you had to force down the whimper that threatened to bubble up. 

Way too soon, he was pulling back, and you could cry from frustration. Fluttering your eyes open, you faintly heard a couple of party-goers cooing over you two, but your eyes were locked on his. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip slowly, looking just as stunned as you felt. 

Your body settled back into place beside Sam of it’s own accord, and your eyes hardly left Danny’s for several moments. That is, until Sam lightly tapped your knee, breaking your curious gaze. 

“That was… intense,” he whispered, smirking at you. “You got a thing for Danny?”

You blushed hard, peeking at the boy in question, who looked away once he’d been caught staring at you. Suddenly the room was spinning, and you took a deep grounding breath. 

“Follow me?” you asked him in a whisper, standing up before he could answer. You walked on autopilot to the stairs, walking straight up and towards the back door. Sam was scrambling, hot on your heels, following you out the door into the back yard. 

“Slow down, kiddo, where’s the fire?” he panted, falling into step beside you as you slowed down, headed to the gazebo in the yard. 

“Dunno, where’s Josh?” you joked, offering a half-assed smirk. Sam laughed his stoner laugh, turning your half smile into a true one. 

You both opened the screen door to the gazebo, and you sat down on one of the little wicker benches. Edison bulbs were strung across the ceiling, the maple-wood walls glowing warmly in their light. Crickets chirped in the dewy grass, and the fresh air already helped calm you down some. 

Sam knelt in front of you, putting his hands on your own, squeezing playfully as he smiled up at you. “Hey… you can tell me, yknow. Anything.”

You nodded, smiling down at the sweet boy in front of you. You already knew that, Sammy’d been there for you through the good, the bad and the ugly. 

“Yeah, I know man, and thank you,” you chuckled, playfully tangling your fingers with his in a lazy thumb wrestle. “S’ just… didn’t think I’d be facing it tonight.” 

Sam hummed. “Facing… Danny?” he finished questioningly. You giggled, “You make him sound like a video game boss or something.” 

Sam laughed, sitting back on his ass and releasing your hands to lean back on them. “He’d make one hell of a boss level, you gotta give him that. Probably in Donkey Kong. But for real, you like him?”

You look up at Sam, nodding shyly. “A lot.”

He broke out in a wide, teasing grin, “Awwwwwwww, my two best frieeeends,” he cooed, clasping his hands over his heart. “K-I-S-S-I-N- Oof-“

You kicked him back by his shoulder playfully. “Not fucking exactly, dork, he’d have to like me back for that to be a thing.” You looked down, fighting the sinking feeling that loomed over you. 

Sam sat back up, giving you the most offended, confused look. “Uhh… not a problem, dummy. Did you see his face when you kissed him? Hell, when the bottle landed on you?”

You shrugged, “No, not really, I mean, he kinda just looked surprised.”

Sam groaned dramatically, throwing his hands out. “Blind buffoons, the two of you.” He pulled himself to his feet, sitting beside you on the bench. “Look at me.” 

Once you did he gave you an imploring look. “He likes you. You can trust me on that.”

Your heart raced, and you furrowed your brow, “What? He never said a thing, Sam, how do you know?”

He snorted, “Neither have you, dumbass. And I can’t just spill all Danny’s secrets, would you appreciate it if I told him what we talk about?” 

You shook your head no, “Fair enough, but he has talked about me then?” You interrogated, to which Sam only snickered.

Then his phone buzzed in his pocket, and he held up a finger to you as he checked the notification. A wide smirk broke out on his face, and he held up the screen to your eyes. 

Dan Wags

11:36 pm Y/N with you? 

11:37 pm Is she okay?

11:43 pm SAM

11:44 pm sam I stg

You lifted your gaze from his screen and met his smirking face, your own face brightening in a shy smile. You bit your lip, letting out a giggle. “He’s uhh… not being very chill either.”

Sam snickered, typing a response. “I’m tellin’ ya, you’re meant for each other. Dramatic fuckers,” he mumbled the last part, sending the text and locking his phone. 

You nodded downwards. “What did you tell him?”

He stood, stretching his back dramatically with an old man grunt, then winking as he stepped to the door. “That you were waiting for him in the gazebo.”

You sputtered, standing up quickly, “Sam- wait, I don- I-I just…” 

He snickered, letting the door close behind him and calling over his shoulder, “Hey, wish me luck with that girl. Have fun!”

Your heart raced, palms sweating again, and you started pacing in the small gazebo. Crossing your arms, you huffed under your breath, “Hope she bites your dick off, instigating little bastard-“ the backdoor shutting froze you in place. 

Looking across the yard, Danny’s eyes met yours as he stepped off the stairs onto the lawn. He paused for a second, smiling timidly, and then making his way towards you. You met him shyly at the door, opening it for him as he stepped in, closer to you than was probably deemed platonic.

He walked in, turning to you shyly as you shut the door and faced him. You smiled tentatively, softly greeting him. “Hey…”

He smiled wider, looking down then back up at you through his lashes. “Hey, back.”

You giggled, purely because he looked so cute, and inwardly chastised yourself for acting like such a moron. You took your seat on the wicker bench, patting the space beside you. 

Danny sat down, and you looked over after a moment. He faced you, holding eye contact as he reached over, taking your hand in his. You weren’t sure if you were breathing as he scanned your face for a reaction, with that timid, enamored look on his face. 

Softly, he broke the silence. “You okay? You looked sorta freaked out back there,” he ran his thumb over the back of your hand, making your heart flutter. 

You took a breath, nodding, “Yeah, just needed a sec,” you admitted, watching his long fingers twisting with yours. 

“Away from me?” came his small response. Quickly looking up at him, your heart cracked at his eyes, wider than usual with nerves. “No, no no, just… away from the group, the party,” you assured, searching his eyes. 

He nodded, letting out a breath of relief through his nose. “Okay… good,” he smiled to himself. “Cause I’d really fucking hate it if I… if all that, um… made you uncomfortable,” he finished. 

You smiled at your fingers, his own still playing with yours. “Mmm, no.” You hummed after a pause. “Well, not the kissing you part. Could’ve done without everyone else watching,” you giggled shyly, blushing as you looked up at him finally. 

His face perked up, surprised and hopeful. “…you…” he cleared his throat, smiling boyishly. “You’d rather kiss me in private?”

Your heart pounded so hard you were sure he could hear it. Unable to quite meet his eyes, you mumbled, “…maybe.”

His head tilted to the side, looking down at you, and you felt as though he was holding you in his hands. “Just maybe?” 

You nervously squeezed his hands, summoning all your bravery and stepping closer, into his body. As you met his eyes, you softly corrected, “No, not maybe… definitely.”

He let out a quiet, slightly shaky breath, and his evident nerves elevated those butterflies swarming your stomach. His eyes searched your face, and he leaned closer. 

“Not sure if you noticed… but it’s just us out here, pretty girl.” 

One of his hands rose and brushed your hair back from your face and tucked it behind your ear, stealing your breath. Your eyes flicked down to his lips, your mind flashing back to the soft fullness of them against yours in the basement. Your hands rose from his, sliding up his chest gently and resting on his shoulders, as his settled on your waist and cupping your jaw. 

Offering him a shy but inviting smile, you tugged at his shoulders. Flashing his heartstopping smile, he leaned down at your bequest, brushing his nose against yours gently, then meeting your lips sweetly. 

Immediately relaxing into the kiss, you snaked your arms around his neck, letting your bodies press together gently. His lips parted, deepening the kiss tentatively, earning a tiny whimper from you. The music thumped distantly, muted through the walls of the house, not loud enough to disturb the romantic ambiance of the evening crickets. Danny’s hand slipped into your hair, holding you so lovingly against him as his tongue traced lightly against your lips. You shivered, happily parting your lips and meeting his tongue with yours. 

He let out the softest, most delicious moan, pressing one more deep kiss against your lips before pulling away, resting his forehead against yours as you both caught your breath. 

You had matching dopey smiles, quickly accompanied by blushing cheeks as you caught each other’s eyes and giggled. His hand in your hair ran through the length of it, sliding down your back and resting beside the other hand at your waist. 

“That was nice,” you whispered, making Danny chuckle. 

“That was incredible,” he agreed. His hand returned to cup your face, thumb brushing across your cheek as he admired your face. “Should we do it again?”

You giggled out loud at that, and he joined you, smiling innocently, “What?” 

You playfully shoved at his shoulder, teasing “You’re so stupid,” and before he could get a word in, you tugged him back down into your lips by his t-shirt. He let out a surprised hum, but kissed you back immediately, happily tilting his head further. The hand that had rested thus far on your waist roamed your back. You sighed quietly into his eager mouth as his broad hand explored. Scooching closer against him, your tits pressing firmly against his chest. Danny pulled away with a sharp inhale, looking pleasantly flustered. 

He flushed with a bashful grin, “Could get used to that.”

“Definitely…” you nodded, giggling quietly and looking down shyly. 

You felt him mischievously smiling as he hummed in acknowledgement. “Mmmm.”

The music had shifted at some point, clearly one of the Kiszka’s taking over the DJing duties by the sounds of the Denver song diffused into the backyard. The bass no longer thumped obnoxiously, replaced by sweet melodic guitar and harmonies. You took a second to look around, the absurdly romantic atmosphere making you smile. Danny seemed to follow your train of thought, and he too took in the string of lights, the warm breeze puppeteering the trees to the soft brushing of leaves, the stars that painted the late summer sky. 

He took your hand sweetly, hitting you with that intense, romantic look from earlier, and he stood up and faced you. Pulling you up in front of him, he stepped back away from the furniture. Then his other hand found your hip, and he began guiding you in a slow dance. 

God, he was perfect. He had to know, right? That this was the single most romantic moment of your life? You hoped your expression told him exactly how smitten you were.

Swaying you both gently back and forth, his smile grew, watching your eyes twinkle with joy. He lifted his arm above your head, spinning you playfully before holding you close once more. You giggled, resting the hand that he wasn’t holding out to your side against his warm chest. “You know this one?” You asked jokingly, grinning. He hummed, “Heard it once or twice.” 

He swallowed, and took a breath, listening closely for a second, then joining John Denver’s muffled voice. 

“If I had a day that I could give you, I'd give to you a day just like today.

If I had a song that I could sing for you, I'd sing a song to make you feel this way.”

Your knees felt like wet spaghetti, Danny’s low, velvet voice vibrating his chest under your hand as he sang to you. His eyes bore into yours, and he kept swaying you both, even as he dipped down and pressed a sweet kiss to your cheek. 

Biting your lip, your eyes met his again, and he smiled bashfully, looking off to the side. You smiled wide, letting your head turn and rest against his chest. Danny’s arm wrapped around your body, holding you in as his other squeezed your hand gently. You squeezed back, eyes closing as you savoured this moment. 

The song came to a close, despite your fervent prayers that it would never end. Danny placed your hand on his shoulder and rested his across the back of your head. His lips gently pressed into your hair, and you shivered. 

“Oh, you cold sweetheart?” he stroked your arm. 

You smiled into his shirt as the next, more upbeat song started. “No, you’re so warm.”

He giggled, “Y’know, it’d be even warmer inside… maybe in my room.”

You pulled away, looking up at him with faux shock and offense. “Daniel,” you gasped playfully. 

He threw his head back, laughing. “God dammit, I was just gonna show you the records I bought on tour,” he implored, and you nodded, giggling, “Oh yeah, gentleman are you?” 

He playfully rolled his eyes, grinning. “Oh, no, that’s code for ‘I wanna smash’, catch up, wouldja?” Pairing the joke with an exaggerated bite of his lip, you snorted, both of you giggling stupidly.

His laugh trailed off with a contented sigh, and he smiled down at you, “So… you wanna go inside with me? Listen to some music, have another drink…” he smirked, his eyes following as he brushed the back of his fingers down your bare arm, “…maybe kiss me some more…?” 

Taking a breath to calm the swirling butterflies, you nodded. “Yeah,” you blushed, grinning, “Sounds nice.”

He raised his brows, smiling excitedly before turning and leading you by the hand out through the yard. Following him through the grass, you glanced up, and smiled wide, tugging Danny’s hand to stop him. He turned, and you pointed at the sky. 

“Look, Capricorn!” His mouth twisted into a sweet smile, just drinking you in for a moment.

He finally followed your gaze upwards, scanning the night sky. “Oh yeah? …wait, where?” 

You pointed again, but he looked over at you and smiled. “Hold on.” He stepped in behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist from the back. Your breath stuttered at the affectionate move, and with a shy smile, you leaned your head back against his chest. Danny rested his chin on the top of your head as he scanned the sky. 

“What am I looking for?” he asked softly, and you felt his throat rumbling against the back of your head. 

“Um… okay, you see that really bright one?” you pointed. He nodded, humming. “Well its sort of a wonky triangle, to the left from there,” you giggled, explaining it more and pointing out stars. All you could focus on was the beating of his heart against your back, and his hands interlaced on your stomach as he held you like this.

“You’re so sweet,” he whispered, once you’d finished. You blushed, straining your neck back to grin up at him upside-down. “What do you mean?”

He smiled down at you, kissing your forehead as you closed your eyes. “Just are,” he mumbled against your forehead. Looking back up at the sky, he softly continued, “You remembered my star sign… and you showed me. Nobody’s shown me before.”

You twisted around gently in his arms to face him. He looked down at you, eyes shining with admiration. It made your heart race. 

“Danny…” you fondly admonished, “Course I remember your star sign. My favourite Capricorn.”

He smiled wider, head tilting subconsciously as he leaned closer. “See? So sweet.” His lips connected with yours once more, and you became so consciously aware of how perfectly right you felt. Like the stars that make up the constellations, you fell into place with Danny, forming something beautiful and bigger than yourselves. 

The thought made your throat tighten with happy tears, but you took a slow shaky breath and pulled away, biting your lip through the bright smile you couldn’t hide. 

“D’you know much about astrology?” 

He shook his head, “Nah, not really. You do, though, right?” He looked proud, like your hours of looking up birth charts and zodiac descriptions were not the waste of time you thought. 

You gave a shy ‘so-so’ of your hand, “A bit, it’s okay though, I won’t get into it.”

He furrowed his brow, “Why not?” 

Smiling crookedly, you shrugged, “Just… don’t wanna bore you.” You giggled at his perplexed expression, and he smirked. 

“Excuse you, I wanna learn. C’mon, tell me something far-out, space girl.”

Suddenly scrambling for any shred of information you ever knew, you giggled, rubbing your neck. His sweet, excited smile once again tossed any hope of rational behavior out the window. “Uhh… well, I um… I did your birth chart once…”

His eyes widened slightly, and his hands on your hips pulled you closer. Now front pressed to front, he cocked his head. “Yeah? What can that tell you? Do you know when I’m gonna die or something?” He sarcastically made a spooky face, earning a playful shove and a laugh from you. 

“Yeah, in about ten seconds if you don’t shut up,” you giggled, Danny miming an arrow through his heart with a smile. “It just uhh, tells you the star signs that correspond to each of your planets. Here, I have yours saved actually-“

You pulled out your phone, opening your photos to the album you’d made of Danny-related images. 

He leaned in, practically cheek to cheek as you brought up the birth chart. “So you’ve got your Sun in Capricorn…”

As you listed off his various signs and planets, giving a brief description of what each one meant, Danny’s smile never faltered listening to your voice. He hummed, nodding along, and as you trailed off with a “Soooo… yeah. That’s about all I can tell you…” he pressed a soft lingering kiss to your cheek. 

Your eyes shyly met his. “What was that for?” you softly asked with a smile.

He bit his lip, eyeing your face. “You’re amazing,” he whispered.

You shut your eyes, grinning wider. “You gotta stop that,” you giggled. 

His smiling cheek pressed against yours, “Stop what?”

“Being all cute like that!” You stepped away from him, turning to face him head on. He rolled his eyes dismissively, waving you off with a ‘psshhtt’. Frowning, you shyly brought your hands to rest on his chest. His eyes rested on your hands, then followed up your arms until his gaze met yours. “I mean it. You are, you’re so cute. Always thought so.”

His face flushed pink, and with a cheeky smile, he leaned forward, brushing suddenly against your lips. “Prove it,” he dared in a whisper.

- Part 2 -

Masterlist | Join the taglist!

@watchingovergvf2 @starshine-wagner @shutupdevvie @gretavanblunt @asparrowofthedawn

[thegayhimbo]

Stranger Things Flight of Icarus Review

If you haven’t yet, be sure to check out my other Stranger Things Reviews. Like, Reblog, and let me know what your thoughts are regarding the show or the upcoming season! :)

Stranger Things Comics/Graphic Novels:

Stranger Things Six

Stranger Things Halloween Special

Stranger Things The Other Side

Stranger Things Zombie Boys

Stranger Things The Bully

Stranger Things Winter Special

Stranger Things Tomb of Ybwen

Stranger Things Into The Fire

Stranger Things Science Camp

Stranger Things “The Game Master” and “Erica’s Quest”

Stranger Things and Dungeons and Dragons

Stranger Things Kamchatka

Stranger Things Erica The Great

Stranger Things “Creature Feature” and “Summer Special”

Stranger Things Tie-In Books:

Stranger Things Suspicious Minds

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Runaway Max (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 1 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 2 of 3)

Stranger Things Darkness On The Edge Of Town (Part 3 of 3)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 1 of 2)

Stranger Things Rebel Robin Book and Podcast (Part 2 of 2)

Stranger Things Hawkins Horrors Review

Stranger Things Episode Reviews:

The Vanishing of Will Byers (Part 1 of 2)

The Vanishing of Will Byers (Part 2 of 2)

Synopsis: Hawkins, Indiana: For most, it’s simply another idyllic, manicured all-American town. But for Eddie Munson, it’s like living in a perpetual Tomb of Horrors. Luckily, he has only a few more months to survive at Hawkins High. And what is senior year, really, but killing time between Dungeons & Dragons sessions with the Hellfire Club and gigs with his band, Corroded Coffin? At the worst dive bar in town, Eddie meets Paige, someone who has pulled off a freaking miracle. She escaped Hawkins and built a wickedly cool life for herself working for a record producer in Los Angeles. Not only is she the definition of a badass—with killer taste in music—but she might also be the only person who actually appreciates Eddie as the bard he is instead of as the devil incarnate. But the best thing? She’s offering him a chance to make something of himself, and all he needs to do is get her a demo tape of Corroded Coffin’s best songs. Just one problem: Recording costs money. Money Eddie doesn’t have. But he’s willing to do whatever it takes, even if that means relying on his dad. Al Munson has just stumbled back into Eddie’s life with another dubious scheme up his sleeve, and yet Eddie knows this is his only option to make enough dough in enough time. It’s a risk, but if it pays off he will finally have a one-way ticket out of Hawkins. Eddie can feel it: 1984 is going to be his year.

Observations:

Ordinarily, when I do these reviews, I sum up the synopsis in my own words to convey my experience reading it. This time, I took the synopsis word-for-word from the book cover because I found it unintentionally hilarious and teeth-grinding that the publishers at Random House Worlds would try to bait Stranger Things fans like this. They had to have known most people who bought this book already saw the fourth season and were aware of Eddie's eventual fate. Even if they hadn't seen it, a.) It's pretty much an open spoiler at this point, and b.) You can figure out real quickly from the title (Flight of Icarus) and your basic knowledge of Greek Mythology exactly how this story is going to go. Giving both the audience and Eddie a Hope Spot in thinking things might improve for him was a cruel joke.

I know that prior to this books release, there were fans accusing Netflix of trying to milk Eddie's popularity with the audience despite his eventual fate in season 4. Having finally read the book myself.................it's a little more complicated than that.

Yes, the book does bait the audience with the idea of things getting better for Eddie when we already know that's not going to happen. At the same time though, it wasn't a book devoid of substance. There were themes and character interactions that left a lot to chew on, and might even play an upcoming role in season 5. Just like with Rebel Robin, there were aspects of the book that struck a personal nerve with me because of how they related to what's gone on in my life and what's currently going on in the world right now.

I'll discuss the book in detail here (Spoilers Ahead!) and let you decide for yourselves if this is a book you want to read.

Part 1: Eddie's relationships to other characters

The synopsis covers the majority of the plot. Eddie's in senior year, failing school, and coasting by on the Hellfire Club, his band, and his dead-end job at a bar. Unlike his friend Ronnie, he has no future prospects ahead of him until he encounters a girl from Los Angeles named Paige, who overhears Eddie playing one night and invites him (and Corroded Coffin) to record their music for a studio called WR Records. The hopes are that her boss, Davey, will be impressed enough that he'll invite Eddie and the band to later fly out to Los Angeles for an audition with the executives. Following them recording for Davey, Paige reveals to Eddie that Davey's more impressed with him than his band and only wants him to come out to LA to become a rockstar. However, Eddie still needs the money to make this dream a reality. So when his dad shows up with an illegal job that involves stealing weed from a Kingpin's truck so they can sell it for money, he reluctantly agrees despite knowing things could go wrong.

And just based on where Eddie is by the time season 4 starts, you already know how this is going to turn out.

Eddie on the show was already established as being an outcast who gets blamed for the murders committed by Vecna, but this book further explores that he was the town scapegoat way before any of this happened. Part of it has to do with his low socioeconomic status, part of it has to do with the bad reputation the Munson family has in Hawkins as crooks and lowlifes thanks to the behavior of Eddie's father (who is a loser and a sorry excuse for a dad), part of it has to do with the Hellfire Club and all the pearl-clutching parents did in the 80s about D&D being linked to Satanism (which, as Erica puts it in season 4, was bullshit), and the rest are people in Hawkins projecting their issues onto Eddie. They want to believe the worst in Eddie, and don't care about creating a self-fulfilling prophecy with they way they treat him.

Wayne Munson also gets fleshed-out more in this book, which I appreciate because he's one of the few adult characters on the show that I like. Unlike Al, who is constantly absent from Eddie's life unless he needs something from him, Wayne is a parental figure to Eddie who made sure he was being fed and taken care of when he needed it.

He's also one of the only people who treats Eddie like a person and believes in him when no one else does.

On top of that, Wayne is shrewd and able to put the pieces together just by reading a situation. He's the kind of person who can look at someone and figure out if they're being honest or not. When Al comes back into Eddie's life, he knows Al is up to no good, and he puts together pretty quickly that Eddie is going along with Al's con to get money. He allows Eddie to make his own choices, but he also warns Eddie that he's lying to himself if he thinks this is going to go well for him.

On a semi-related note, the way Wayne is depicted here gives more context behind why he was willing to let Nancy interview him when Eddie went missing after Chrissy's death: Unlike other reporters , who were either gearing up to paint Eddie as the villain before anything was confirmed, or else were trying to get their big break with this story, Wayne could tell Nancy wasn't just there to advance her career. She genuinely had an interest in what happened, and Wayne likely suspected something else (i.e. the death of Barb) was motivating Nancy to look into this case.

Another relationship that gets more context as well is the one between Jason and Eddie. There were hints in the fourth season that these two had a history with one another before Jason wrongly suspected Eddie of killing Chrissy and led the basketball team in hunting him down. This book confirms that history. I will admit I had a headcanon for a while that Jason and Eddie used to be friends before falling out (which is also something Mason Dye joked about), but this book blows that out of the water by revealing they've been enemies since they knew each other. Jason was a part of a jock group led by Tommy Hagan (Steve's former best friend) who bullied students like Gareth who were either outcasts or part of the Hellfire Club. But because Tommy and Jason were valued basketball players at the high school, they were able to get away with their behavior whereas Eddie would get punished simply for trying to help out his friends.

This puts the cafeteria scene between Eddie and Jason in a whole different light: Eddie's disdain for Jason in that moment wasn't because Jason did basketball, but because he knew Jason as a bully and had nothing but contempt for him:

Just like with Lucas on the Line, this book doesn't paint Jason in a good light. Not only is he associating with Tommy (who is just as loathsome as he was in season 1), but the book also hints at the darker, zealot side of his personality that's going to be on display in two years following the events of this book:

Chrissy also makes an appearance, and she's just as nice of a person as she was on the show. She actually intervenes (unsuccessfully) on Gareth's behalf to stop Tommy and Jason from bullying him, and we get to witness the flashback to the talent show when Eddie first encountered Chrissy and she showed him empathy and compassion in a moment when Eddie was feeling vulnerable after his dad didn't show up to watch him perform.

While I'm not an Edissy/Hellcheer shipper, I understand the appeal of that relationship, as well as why the Duffer Brothers later regretted killing off Chrissy when there was more that could have been explored with her character. I'm also deeply sorry Grace Van Dien was harassed by immature Stranger Things fans because she liked the Eddie/Chrissy ship (to the point Joseph Quinn had to speak up in her defense). No actor or actress should ever have to put up with disgusting behavior like that. I wish people in this fandom would grow the hell up already, and stop treating the actors as if they're props to project themselves onto. 😒

We also get to know more about Eddie's parents in this book. Eddie's mom is dead by this point (though her love for music is a big reason why Eddie was inspired to take up guitar) and Eddie's dad is a contender for one of the worst fathers in the series. He isn't as awful as Neil Hargrove, but he makes little to no effort to raise Eddie (to the point Eddie is often fending for himself), is constantly engaging in illegal activities and ending up in trouble with the law, only comes back for Eddie when he needs something from him (something that Eddie is painfully aware of), and straight-up abandons his son to the cops the moment his heist plan lands both of them in trouble and results in a police officer getting shot. He's a selfish man who's good at lying to everyone around him, and even to himself. The sad thing is, because Eddie is so desperate to get out of Hawkins, he willingly believes his dad's plan to get them rich so they can move to LA and fulfill his dream, which makes it more of a gut punch when everything eventually goes downhill.

Given Eddie's death in season 4, I seriously question if his dad is going to show up at all if he ever hears about what happened to his son. Somehow, I doubt it.

The final character with any real significance is Gareth. In this book, he's a freshman who's up-and-coming in the Hellfire Club, and there's a whole subplot dedicated to Eddie helping him to craft a perfect D&D character that resembles who Gareth is rather than having him borrow someone else's character. Also, as noted before, Eddie is one of the few people who defends Gareth from high school bullies, which is why Gareth has a lot of loyalty towards Eddie. I know Gareth became an Ensemble Dark Horse for many fans when Season 4 premiered, and I would be thrilled if he, along with the rest of the Hellfire Club and Corroded Coffin, got significant roles in season 5. Maybe they could team up with the Party to defeat Vecna.

The rest of the new characters are by-the-numbers. Ronnie is Eddie's lifelong friend who has a future at NYU, and they both have a falling out due to disagreements with Eddie's choices. Paige gets into a romantic relationship with Eddie for a while (which also falls apart later), but she isn't really memorable and doesn't stick out the same way that other characters from tie-in materials do (i.e. Mr Hauser from Rebel Robin, Joey Kim from Zombie Boys, etc). Mr. Higgins, the principal who has it out for Eddie, is the embodiment of Mr. Vernon from The Breakfast Club, and his interactions with Eddie are pretty similar to the ones Vernon has with Judd Nelson's character (John Benson) in the movie. Officer Moore is a stereotypical asshole cop who harasses Eddie because he sees him as a future criminal who will grow up to be just like his dad.

There are a few brief cameo's from the main characters: Hopper appears towards the end when Eddie is arrested, and is one of the few people sympathetic to Eddie's plight. Will and Jonathan also make an appearance when Eddie defends Will from jocks who make fun of Will for being "Zombie Boy," gives Will some encouragement about being who he is and embracing his love for D&D, and even offers to sell Jonathan some weed (which is cheeky foreshadowing for Jonathan's drug habit that develops in season 4).

Out of all the interactions with the main characters, the one between Will and Eddie was my favorite. Even though Will never joined Hellfire Club due to moving to Lenora, it's nice seeing these two get to interact and bond over something they love.

So that sums it up for the characters and main story. Let's talk about the main themes:

Part 2: Eddie and "Forced Conformity"

Just like with El in season 4, and even Steve, there's always been this stigma that because Eddie did badly in school, it meant he was dumb. However, unlike El, who struggles to catch up with her peers because of the way Brenner raised her (but is keenly aware of concepts even if she doesn't have the words for them at the time), or Steve who was more interested in chasing popularity at the expense of his grades (but has demonstrated his intelligence and ability to make connections that other people miss), Eddie doesn't put effort into school because he doesn't care to. School and homework doesn't interest him. D&D, Corroded Coffin, playing songs on his guitar, and even the works of J.R.R Tolkien do, which is why he invests more time into those things:

There was a GIF set last year with bits of trivia about Eddie, and something that was noted in it is that Metallica's album Master of Puppets was released on March 3, 1986. Given the night Eddie performs their song "Master of Puppets" in the Upside Down was on March 27, 1986, this means he had less than 3 weeks to learn how to master the song on his guitar. Some fans will probably dismiss this as "lazy writing" (which I notice gets thrown around a lot these days when people don't want to think critically), but I beg to differ. Eddie is invested in music. It speaks to him. That investment, combined with doing something he loves, means he's going to put time and effort into learning the song. I can buy he learned "Master of Puppets" in less than 3 weeks because he's that good of a guitarist, and he was passionate about the song in the same way he's passionate about D&D and Tolkien.

The problem though is those kind of interests aren't considered "acceptable" by the school system, which is more interested in churning out "productive members of society" and punishing those who don't get on board with the program (This is a theme that's also explored in both Rebel Robin and Lucas on the Line). It doesn't help that Hellfire Club, D&D, and the music Eddie loves to play constantly come under fire due to the Satanic Panic at the time, which only causes Eddie's resentment towards Hawkins and his school to fester.

You'd think things would have changed in the 4 decades since this series took place, but given how we're still living in an era of "concerned parents" wanting to ban specific books from being read by kids, or else enforce a conservative viewpoint in schools that prevents any kind of critical thinking, it's fair to say we haven't. In fact, there's an argument that things have gotten worse in recent years.

We can talk all day about the problems with the education system and school curriculum in the United States until the cows come home, but the point is Eddie is aware of the "forced conformity" schools impose on students, and is having none of it. As a result, he's punished for rebelling against the system.

It doesn't help that none of the teachers, nor Mr. Higgins, are remotely interested in trying to reach out to Eddie. They have decided in their minds that Eddie is a waste of space, and are either condescending or dismissive towards him. Even Robin, Mike, Lucas, Dustin, and Will had teachers like Mr. Clarke or Mr. Hauser who were interested in bringing the best out of their students. Eddie has been written off as a lost cause, and aside from his uncle Wayne (who's limited in what he can do for Eddie), no other adults believe in him. That just makes his eventual death later on harder to stomach.

I hate teachers and school authorities like Mr. Higgins. I get they have to put up with a lot of crap, both from kids and from the stress their jobs can bring, but I have no respect for teachers who either go to the lengths of bullying their students, or come up with preconceived notions about a student and then unfairly project that onto them so they can feel justified in treating them with contempt.

I had two teachers like this when I was growing up: One of them was from fifth grade. The second was my English Teacher from my senior year of High School.

The former was a straight-up bully who had a reputation for making kids cry (I was one of them) and was a Bitch in every sense of the word. I do not have good memories of her class, and I know several students who had their lives impacted by her for the worst: One of them was someone I went to the same church with whose mom later pulled him out to be home-schooled because he was frequently targeted by that teacher. The second was a former friend who had a rough time in her class, and later forfeited going to college entirely (and now works in retail) because of the impact she left on her. I make no secret that I DON'T miss her, and I hope she's no longer teaching.

As for my English Teacher, she was a condescending twat. She presented herself as an expert in literature, but I later found out that A LOT of her so-called "discussions" and "lessons" were taken straight from SparkNotes. I remember her going out of her way to publicly humiliate me in front of the class because I did a presentation that she didn't like, and then she later got patronizing with me over a different assignment several months later, saying she could see how I was struggling and then said "Allow me to give you some advice: Try harder." This was when I was also juggling 4 other AP classes and a Spanish class, along with my extracurricular activities, so this wasn't like I was half-assing my work. Once again, I was not the only person she treated like is. Multiple students despised her, and there was even a rumor for a while that she was a misandrist, which is why she treated the girls better than the boys. I can't confirm if this was true, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was. My brother (who's one of the smartest people I know) was fully aware of her reputation prior to his senior year, and specifically took a different English class just to avoid her. I still maintain that was the best decision he ever made.

I should briefly mention that, despite the two examples I just listed, I had some wonderful teachers growing up. Ones that not only encouraged me, but made their classes engaging to the point that I took an interest in topics I hadn't before. The entire reason I later pursued a degree in History is BECAUSE of my teachers in High School.

Regardless of whether people want to admit it, teachers are some of the most important people next to parents in a kid's life. They can either be the ones to elevate a student and set them on a good path, or they can be the ones to tear them down and dismiss them as a lost cause. It's a big reason I feel strongly about who teaches in schools and how our education system is structured, and why I get angry whenever teachers or school authorities either abuse their power, are apathetic about their jobs and their students, or else project their issues onto kids. I'm not saying there aren't kids out there without major behavioral problems that need to be dealt with (I literally had one such kid yell "Fuck You" at me two weeks ago from a speeding truck for no discernible reason, so I'm not advocating that all kids are sweet angels), but it infuriates me to see characters like Mr. Higgins who are smug in their belief that they have teens like Eddie figured out, and don't want to hear anything that contradicts that. People like that shouldn't be teaching in schools, period.

Part 3: The Evils of Society

Back in 2005, there was a horror movie called Chaos that was released, which got negative reviews and a scathing response from film critic Roger Ebert, who proceeded to call the movie "ugly, nihilistic, and cruel." The film's writer and director didn't take this well, and posted a letter to the Chicago-Sun Times where he condescendingly told Ebert that the movie was supposed to be ugly, nihilistic, and cruel as a way of conveying what evil was like in the 21st century, and smugly asked Ebert if he preferred the movie was sanitized of violence. Ebert later responded in a very classy and intelligent manner, where he not only called out the director for his sanctimoniousness, but also deconstructed his whole argument of depicting evil in a movie with no meaningful point or catharsis:

"I believe evil can win in fiction, as it often does in real life. But I prefer that the artist express an attitude toward that evil. It is not enough to record it; what do you think and feel about it? Your attitude is as detached as your hero's."

"Your real purpose in making "Chaos," I suspect, was not to educate, but to create a scandal that would draw an audience. There's always money to be made by going further and being more shocking. Sometimes there is also art to be found in that direction, but not this time. That's because your film creates a closed system in which any alternative outcome is excluded; it is like a movie of a man falling to his death, which can have no developments except that he continues to fall, and no ending except that he dies. Pre-destination may be useful in theology, but as a narrative strategy, it is self-defeating."

I've seen fans who've complained about the direction season 4 took in its tone and it's depiction of bullying and the Satanic Panic, with people complaining about it being "trauma/torture porn," which............I strongly disagree with. Trauma/Torture porn is (as Ebert points out) the kind of thing that has no point beyond indulging in meaningless suffering. Season 4 was dark (probably the darkest season they've done so far), but there was a message the Duffer Brothers were making with it; Not just in depicting how and why bullying becomes a pervasive problem, or how Vecna acts as a metaphor for depression and trauma driving people into despair, but also how the current social systems and attempts to force people to be "normal" cause long-term problems.

Bullies like Angela and Jason didn't suddenly decide to become awful overnight. Their behavior was enabled, not just by their peers, but by the adults around them who did little to nothing to stop the way they acted. Look at when El gets publicly humiliated at Rink-O-Mania by Angela and her friends, and how the adults there either participated with the other bystanders in it, or did absolutely nothing to stop what was happening to El (yet were conveniently available for Angela's benefit when El smashed Angela's face in with a roller-skate). Look at how Jason was able to turn a room of adults into a lynch mob to go after kids who were a part of the Hellfire Club by appealing to their fear of the Satanic Panic, as well as their fear of all the terrible things that had been happening in Hawkins.

Adults play a major role in whether kids become spoiled, entitled brats, and that was absolutely the case with Angela. As for Jason, he was a star basketball player who made Hawkins High look good, which is why Mr. Higgins and other teachers always looked the other way at his behavior (as depicted in both this book and Lucas on the Line). It's also why both Angela and Jason felt justified in their awful behavior: Angela was able to convince herself that El had snitched when she hadn't, and therefore deserved to be punished for it. And when El finally had enough and lashed out, Angela twisted the narrative in her head to make it out like she was the innocent victim and El was the bully. Same thing with Jason in regards to how he treats Eddie: Jason sees himself as the perfect "All American Boy" and Eddie as the freak who may one day become a criminal and gives Hawkins a bad name. And while the deaths of Chrissy and Patrick (combined with witnessing how Patrick died which he chalked up to Eddie being in league with Satan) played a major role in Jason's actions, he already had preconceived notions about Eddie without truly getting to know him first. There's an argument to be had that, even without Chrissy's death, he would have looked for any reason to go after Eddie if he felt justified in doing so.

Even isolated areas like Hawkins Lab weren't exempt from this: Dr. Brenner specifically fostered a culture among the special kids where he would put them at odds with one another to fight for his approval, and allowed El to be viciously bullied by Two and the others in the hopes it would unlock her potential and get him the results he wanted. Brenner established the institution where El grew up in, and was the main person who benefited from it. Two was a vicious bully similar to Angela, but the reason he became that is because Brenner and his cronies enabled his behavior (only punishing him as a means of building up resentment among the other kids towards El and making her more of an outcast as part of his plans).

Likewise, there's an interesting parallel between Eddie and Vecna: Both are "outcasts" whom society tried to force to be "normal." However, while Eddie still maintained compassion and empathy for others, as well as making it his mission to look out for other outcasts like Mike, Dustin, and Lucas so their lives wouldn't be miserable, Vecna internalized the rage and resentment of "performing in a silly terrible play, day after day" until it consumed him and turned him into the monster everyone feared. Now he intends to destroy everything and everyone so he can create the world he wants.

It's the Harvey Dent quote from The Dark Knight:

Eddie, despite being treated badly for most of his life, died as a hero, protecting those he cared about. Vecna lived to become the villain, and has abandoned his humanity in pursuit of his goals.

Tying this all back to Roger Ebert's letter: While Season 4 may have been dark, there was meaning to be found in the darkness: The season hit on the theme that, in spite of how Hawkins looks like a perfect suburban neighborhood, there's a lot of rot underneath, and NOT just from the Upside Down. There's an inherent bigotry in the town (and others like it, such as Lenora), of institutions trying to mold students and teachers into "productive members of society" at the cost of their happiness and well being, of punishing anything that's considered abnormal or against the status quo, of how ostracizing "outcasts" can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy where the person either becomes the monster (Vecna) or is scapegoated and can never escape those stigmas no matter how hard they try (Eddie).

The Duffer Brothers aren't apathetic in their attitude about how they depict characters and themes on the show. If anything, they care deeply. It's why they wrote the character of Eddie in the first place, and based him off of Damien Echols, one of the West Memphis Three who was wrongfully convicted in 1994 of the murder of three boys in Arkansas, with a lot of bias directed at them due to the three of them being "delinquents" (as well as how the police pressured them into giving false confessions), which resulted in their lives getting ruined. Likewise on the show, Eddie is accused of killing Chrissy when he didn't (simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time), and his life got destroyed because of it. Even if he was a delinquent with his own personal issues, he didn't deserve what happened to him. Neither did Damien Echols. Society failed both of them, and allowed the true killers to go unpunished.

There are a lot of problems in our society today that have carried over from the 80s: From cultures that enable bullies and punish their victims, to attempts to control what kids learn in schools and how they should act, to bigotry and biases that aren't just rooted in people but in the institutions and laws that uphold the social structure, to people like Jason who take the law into their own hands regardless of the collateral damage it will cause, to government corruption, to people dehumanizing others because it's more important for them to be right over being nice, and so on. Stranger Things may be a love letter to the 80s, but it does not shy away from deconstructing the uglier aspects of that decade, and conveying how some of those issues had carried over into today's culture.

Final Thoughts:

Overall, this book is a mixed bag. It gives interesting details about Eddie and his life, and provides better context for certain scenes in season 4. Given that Caitlin Schneiderhan (the author of the book) had talks with the Duffer Brothers and other Stranger Things writers prior to penning this, it's likely this book can be considered canon. It's also a book that inspires discussion (as you can tell from what I've written), which is always a plus.

However, if you're a fan of Eddie, and you were upset over his death, this book isn't going to give you any catharsis. Unlike others, I'm not going to claim it's milking off of Eddie's popularity. At the same time though, it is hard to read when it teases that things might get better for Eddie and you already know what Eddie's fate is going to be.

In other words, you have to decide for yourself if this is a book you want to read. I hope my synopsis and this review gives some idea of what to expect.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

"It’s more than sales – it inspired an entire generation of young girls to know they had a place in heavy music." Inside Fallen: the album that turned Evanescence into instant 21st century metal superstars

No rock band had an explosive a rise in the 2000s as Evanescence. This is the story of their classic debut album

Evanescence’s Amy Lee was at one of the many awards ceremonies she attended back in the first half of the 2000s when she was approached by a fan. This wasn’t unusual in itself, except this fan happened to be rapper and mogul P. Diddy.

“He said, ‘I love your album, I listen to it when I work out’,” Amy tells Hammer today. “And I was like ‘Really? That’s awesome!’ That was surprising to me. You know who I am? That’s weird.” Weird is right. Just a couple of years earlier, Amy had been a shy, aspiring singer and songwriter who had played no more than a handful of times with the band she’d co-founded as 13-year-old almost a decade earlier. And now here she was, getting star-spotted by hip hop A-listers at swanky awards ceremonies.

“What do they call that thing? Imposter syndrome!” she recalls today. “I definitely felt like I’d snuck in the back door and somehow got to go to the Grammys. Like, ‘I’m not supposed to be here and people do not know who we are and this is a prank.’ I think part of that is just it all happening so fast and being so young.”

The reason for the attention was down to the blockbusting success of Evanescence’s debut album, Fallen. Originally released in March 2003, and about to be reissued as a deluxe 20th anniversary edition, Fallen appeared at the tail-end of the nu metal boom. It offered a gothier, more dramatic take on that sound, which bridged nu metal and both the rising symphonic metal and emo scenes. It would go on to sell more than 10 million copies in the US alone, turning Amy Lee into an icon and role model for a generation of young, female fans.

Amy describes the young, pre-Evanescence version of herself as “a little bit shy”. Earlier this year, she told Hammer’s sister magazine, Classic Rock, that the death of her younger sister, Bonnie, when Amy was six, was a catalyst for “this soul, spirit- searching, expression mode”, which would eventually manifest itself in music. She wrote her first song aged 12, and others quickly followed. “I wrote plenty of songs that were crap,” she says with a laugh. “You just haven’t heard them.”

Things became more serious when she met future Evanescence guitarist Ben Moody in 1994 at a Christian Youth Camp in Little Rock, Arkansas, where her family had moved to a few years earlier. She was 13 and Ben a year older, though the two decided they could make music together. Amy describes their initial endeavours as “more like an electronic duo, like Massive Attack” than an actual band, though some of their early songs would end up on Fallen, including Imaginary, Whisper and My Immortal.

The nascent Evanescence didn’t play a gig for nearly six years, partly because of their youth, and partly because they wanted to concentrate on honing the songs they were writing. “The live part for me at that time just wasn’t my focus,” she shrugs. “I wanted to make stuff.”

Their first release was a self-titled debut EP that came out in 1998 via local label Bigwig, followed by another EP, Sound Asleep, the following year (both featured songs that appeared on Fallen). They’d played a few a low-key acoustic shows in their early days, but their first proper, plugged-in show was at a bar named Vinos in Little Rock on January 2, 1999, less than a month after Amy turned 17.

“It was difficult to be on stage at first,” she says. “I had to really work at being a good performer. I remember the first time we played a gig and four people knew the chorus to one of our dumb little songs,” she adds, self-effacingly trailing off.

It was an early version of My Immortal that caught the attention of Diana Meltzer, head of A&R at Wind-up Records, in 2001. Amy had just enrolled in college to study music theory composition when she got the message that Wind-up were interested in Evanescence - essentially herself and Ben.

“I still wanted to make music, but I was going to study so that maybe one day I could work on film scores as a backup plan,” she says. “We got signed three months in. I had one semester of school. I literally went from graduating high school to moving to LA and making our album in a year and a half.”

Producer Dave Fortman can remember the first time he heard Amy Lee sing Bring Me To Life in the studio. The guitarist in 1990s rockers Ugly Kid Joe pivoted to production after the 1997 break-up of that band, working with the likes of Superjoint Ritual and Crowbar before signing on to produce the debut album by an unknown band from Arkansas called Evanescence. After listening to their demo, he jumped at the chance to work with them. And then came the moment when Amy began singing in the studio.

“Amy was in the booth and this voice just came out,” Dave tells Hammer. “My engineer, who has worked with some of the biggest names in music bar none, turned to me with his jaw on the floor and said, 'Goddamn! This girl can sing.’ You just forgot where you were, you weren’t working anymore, you were just in awe of her. They were the most talented people in their age I’d ever been in contact with.”

The Evanescence that recorded Fallen was Amy and Ben, plus keyboard player/string arranger/co-songwriter David Hodges (who joined the band in 1999) and an array of session musicians, including future Guns N’ Roses/Foo Fighters drummer Josh Freese. Dave Fortman estimates the album cost around $250,000 to make – a sizeable sum now, but relatively modest at a time when seven-figure budgets weren’t uncommon (Korn’s 2002 album Untouchables reportedly cost $4 million). Some of that budget went on the real-life orchestra that Amy insisted on using for many of the songs – a bold move for a new band, when an electronic recreation would have been cheaper.

“None of us were ever going to back down on that,” says Dave Fortman. “It had to be that way or it wasn’t going to work. We recorded the orchestra in Seattle where they have no union, so it was cheaper. If we’d have known it was going to smash in the way it did, hell yeah, we would have just recorded them in LA!”

Evanescence didn’t get everything their way. Bring Me To Life, which addressed Amy’s feelings of numbness while in an abusive relationship,  was augmented by the inclusion of rapper Paul McCoy in an attempt to appeal to the nu metal market - a decision that went  against the band’s wishes. “I was so scared in the beginning that we were going forward with something  that wasn’t a perfectly honest picture of who we were,” Amy told Metal Hammer earlier this year. “But it didn’t last long. After a few songs, the mainstream was able to hear more than the one song and it was like, ‘OK, they at least sort of get what we are.’”

Advance expectations for Fallen were modest when it was released on March 4, 2003. “If it had gone gold [500,000 copies], we’d have A all been delighted with that,” says Dave Fortman. As it turned out, the album smashed it, selling more than 140,000 copies in its first week of release alone and reaching No.7 in the US Billboard charts. Bring Me To Life was a huge factor in that success. Like My Immortal, the song made its first appearance on the big- budget, Ben Affleck-starring Daredevil movie, which hit cinemas a few months before Fallen came out. 

When it was released as a single in its own right, accompanied by an expensive-looking urban-gothic video that saw a nightdress- clad Amy somnambulantly climbing the side of a tower block, like a cross between a character from an Anne Rice novel and a comic book superhero, Wind-up reps had to beg radio stations to play it (“A chick with piano on a rock station?” was a common response). Those that did air it soon found their phone lines jammed with people who wanted to know what it was that they’d just heard. It entered the US Top 10 and did even better in the UK, where it reached No.1.

Bring Me To Life and subsequent singles Going Under and My Immortal put wind in Fallen’s sails. Those 140,000 sales shot upwards at a vertiginous rate: within a month, it had sold more than a million copies in the US alone. By the middle of 2004, it had reached seven million (in 2022, Fallen was awarded a diamond certificate for US sales of more than 10 million). The speed of the ascent left Amy Lee dazed. “There was just so much going on,” she says, exhaling. “I don’t know if I got to focus on it that hard at the time.” 

The label wanted to get Evanescence out on the road to capitalise on that initial success. A touring band was assembled around Amy and Ben – guitarist John LeCompt, drummer Rocky Gray and bassist Will Boyd were recruited to back them. Their rise as a live band was equally dizzying. The day Fallen was released, Evanescence headlined the 200-capacity Engine Room in Houston, Texas. Three months later, they made their first UK appearance playing the Main Stage at the inaugural Download festival, sandwiched between Stone Sour and Mudvayne. Two weeks after that, they returned to the UK to headline a sold-out show at London’s prestigious Astoria.

Inevitably, given the scale and velocity of Evanescence’s success, it didn’t take long for the backlash to kick in. Amy was the focus of much of the criticism, with the barbs ranging from the petty (one magazine questioned her goth credentials) to the outright misogynistic (she was painted as a diva with absolutely nothing to back it up other than the fact she was a woman). Evanescence themselves were perceived by some of their detractors as nothing more than a cynical marketing experiment; the phrase “Linkin Park with a girl singer” appeared a depressing number of times back then, which diminished the decade or so Amy and Ben had invested in their band and music.

“I felt a lot like people wanted to see me fail, especially in the beginning,” Amy says. “I think it’s partially that they want to see if you’re the real thing, and when you shoot up so fast and you have a lot of success really quickly, I think there’s a little bit of a human nature thing that wants to poke a hole in that. I felt on the defence, I felt misunderstood – I’ve got a badass, bitchy look on my face on the album cover, so obviously I must be some kind of bitch.”

Amy was just 21 when Fallen was released, and the criticism took a toll on her. “It was hard as a young person to feel misunderstood,” she reflects today. Things became even more complicated when Ben left acrimoniously in October 2003, just six months after the release of Fallen, with creative differences cited at the time as the reason for the split (in 2010, he admitted to trying to force the singer out of the band they had founded together).

“I felt frustrated,” says Amy. “I wanted to hide a bit in that initial aftermath. People always wanted to attach me to drama, like Ben leaving the band. All of that was trying to be made to make me look bad, like it’s my fault or, ‘Well now it’s going to suck because she didn’t actually do any of the work, obviously all the men behind her did all the writing and the creation.’ It just made me angry a lot.”

The criticism and fractured personal relationships may have been difficult to deal with, but the impact Evanescence had was undeniable. Fallen landed at a transitional time for metal. By 2003, nu metal was on a downward trajectory creatively and commercially, with scene heavyweights Korn and Limp Bizkit both releasing dud albums in the shape of Take A Look In The Mirror and Results May Vary respectively. The New Wave Of American Heavy Metal was bubbling up, but it didn’t possess the same kind of mainstream crossover potential.

Fallen was different. Nu metal may have been in its DNA, but so was goth and electronic music. It was heavy enough for metal fans but it was also dramatic and heartfelt enough to draw in the emo crowd and pop fans alike. The soaring piano ballad My Immortal, with its narrative of a grieving relative haunted by the spirit of the family member they’re mourning, and Going Under, another song detailing the feelings of hopelessness that come from suffering in an abusive relationship, were unquestionably dark, but Evanescence wrapped them up in ear-worm hooks and gothic allure, while Amy’s presence imbued them with a distinctly feminine spirit that was a world away from nu metal’s over-testosteroned aggro.

The broad-church appeal of Fallen was reflected in the range of musicians who garlanded it with praise. Over the years, it’s been cited as an inspiration by everyone from Lzzy Hale and The Pretty Reckless’s Taylor Momsen to pop star Kelly Clarkson. Björk praised Evanescence and so, more surprisingly, did Lemmy, a man not known for his love of goth-tinged ballads.

“They’re fucking excellent,” said the late Motörhead frontman when asked for his view of the band. Even more significant – and noticeable – was the devotion Evanescence, and Amy in particular, almost instantly inspired among fans, especially female ones. The look she sported in music videos, magazine photo shoots and TV interviews – goth-style corsets, black and red eye make-up - was taken up by countless rock club kids up and down the country.

But arguably the most lasting impact Fallen has had is musical. It marked a changing of the guard: not just the end of nu metal, but the beginning of the rise of symphonic metal. Bands such as Nightwish and Within Temptation released albums before Fallen, making sizable waves in mainland Europe, but Evanescence put a distinctly American spin on it, turbocharging symphonic metal’s rise on the back of Fallen’s success. Even now, Amy’s too modest to acknowledge the influence that Fallen had.

“People are always asking me that question: ‘What is it about that album that resonated with people so much?’” she says. “I don’t know. Some of it’s just out of your control. At that age and that time in my life, I don’t think I would have given myself that credit.”

Dave Fortman is far more forthright on the subject. “Did I notice it?!” he says. “How could you not?! That’s what happens when you become, not just a big band, but an icon. She truly changed things. All those symphonic bands that came in their wake? They’re all Amy’s children.”

Fallen helped turn Evanescence into one of the biggest bands of the 21st century. They beat superstar rapper 50 Cent to the award for Best New Artist at the 2004 Grammy Awards (Bring Me To Life also took the trophy for Best Hard Rock Performance). To date, the record has sold more than 17 million copies worldwide – only Adele, Eminem, Norah Jones, Lady Gaga and Linkin Park released albums that have sold more during that time.

Dave calls Fallen “a life- changing album”. He explains: “It’s more than sales – it inspired an entire generation of young girls to know they had a place in heavy music. To show they didn’t have to ever compromise.” It’s a sentiment Amy shares as she looks back at the shy 21-year-old of 2003.

“It was crazy, it was awesome,” she says. “But there was a lot for me that was going on personally, turmoil and relationships within our band. It was just this wild time where so many things that felt huge were happening at the same time. Did it change the musical landscape? I don’t know. But it inspired somebody for something good, it made them walk back from the edge, feel their self-worth in some way. I think it’s truly a gift and a blessing in my life.”

Originally printed in Metal Hammer #381

[expired-monster-craft-smp]

Leon Kennedy headcanons part 2nd

- Due to the lack of control in his life, Leon seeks control in other things such as his diet, his daily routine, weekly schedule, and even what he buys

- Gets paid a lot since he works for the government but rarely uses it

- He literally lives in a shitty and small apartment that isn’t decorated and sleeps on a bare mattress on the floor

- Cannot relax like ever unless he’s alone in his apartment, but he’s close to relaxed if he’s alone with a trusted person like Chris, Claire, Jill, and Rebecca. Hunnigan would be included but they usually only meet to discuss a new mission for Leon

- Doesn’t listen to new music, but will listen to recommendations from friends and new releases from bands/artists he already listens to

- Bro canonically listens to dad rock and metal and was born in the late 70’s so his music taste can be…interesting

- I know a lot of people say that he would have one-night stands or whatever but not only is this man the most awkward person ever and Cannot Pull, he’s also severely paranoid and closed-off around unknown people, drunk and sober. He most likely doesn’t get any action whatsoever

- He’s super sweet towards kids. Just has the biggest soft spot for them and can’t stand to say no to them 99% of the time

- He gives off Midwest energy so bad, he probably spent a significant amount of his childhood living there (if we’re going off his original backstory n shit he probably got moved there while in foster care and remained in that area until he aged out)

- He can’t stand change (autism and desperation for control) and it’s why his hairstyle remains the same. It’s one of the few constants in his life and he physically cannot have his hair in any other style

- He’s an alcoholic in the sense that he’s almost always drinking. He doesn’t really do binge drinking, just a constant flow of alcohol in his system throughout the day

- Dissociates a lot. After Spain, he was stuck in a dissociative episode for over 3 months, just going on autopilot

- Prefers off-brand items over brand names, mostly due to growing up without a lot of money. It’s more comforting

- Hates being dirty or smelling bad. He showers religiously and throughly, always making sure to apply cologne afterwards even if he’s just going to bed

- No phone case. It would be helpful since he has pretty big hands and long fingers but he just lets his phone rawdog the world

- Leon is a trans man !! Government pays for his T shots and paid for his top surgery (though it was mostly so they could make Leon feel more indebted to them)

- Leon is just so extremely touch-starved it’s actually incredibly sad. Even if it’s just a medic touching him to patch him up, his skin prickles and his eyes sting

- Doesn’t mind sugary things, but if he’s going to drink soda, it has to be diet. He tends to stick with water and unsweetened juice, though

- If he’s going to use pet-names for someone (such as Chris perchance), he sticks with “baby”, “sweet thing”, “doll”, and “sweetheart”. He doesn’t usually use pet-names though, mostly because he thinks it sounds awkward coming from his mouth

Chreon stuff because homosexuality

- Leon absolutely adores hugging, snuggling, and cuddling with Chris. The man is bigger than him and makes the perfect pillow

- Finds it hot that Chris can easily manhandle him

- Favorite thing to do is cuddle with Chris on the couch or lay his head on Chris’ thighs or chest and watch movies with him

- Instead of rings, they have matching watches (canon)

- Leon can get needy and whiny when sleepy, especially after a mission, and will cling to Chris like a leech

- He feels comfortable and safe enough with Chris to relinquish control to him. He knows his husband will keep him safe and has his comfort in mind

- Claire had a fucking field day with them when she found out they were together. Literally got teased relentlessly, and she jokingly gave her blessing

- Leon found it amusing when she gave Chris the shovel talk, not him

- Leon teases Chris about his smoking habit but Chris never really does the same with Leon’s drinking, knowing it’s a sensitive subject and instead just makes sure his husband doesn’t drink too much

May post another part, who knows?

[angrypedestrian]

It's halfway through the year! Got any favorite albums/books/tv shows/whatever to recommend?

I'm gonna be honest, I feel like I have been VERY behind on reading/watching/listening to ANYTHING this year. I've only gotten through 3 books, and have big to listen to/to watch/to play piles, but! I shall try to find something to rec.

Books/Comics I have only read 3 books this year and I hattteeee it, but at least one of them was Hanif Abdurraqib's A Little Devil In America, which I finally got around to after buying it almost 3 years ago. 1000% must read imo. I'm sitting on his new one that came out a couple months ago, and I AM going to read this year. I AM. Also, I went to go see him speak a few weeks ago and he complimented my Fireworks shirt because he is one of the few people who loves them as much as I do.

I have read a lot of comics this year though! James Tynion's The Deviant is probably the one I would recommend to you most specifically, it is VERY dark, but VERY good. It's still in progress though, but I think should be wrapped up by the end of the year. Also Jeff Lemire's Phantom Road. It's real weird, I dunno what the hell is going on with it, but I'm enjoying the ride so far. Jeff has another book running right now called Fishflies, which is more traditional Lemire, weird and sad and Canadian. Also very good, but Phantom Road is the one I'm currently enjoying more of the two if I had to pick.

TV/Movies I finally got around to watching the first season of The Terror, which I was a FOOL for missing out on when it was first released. What a fucking television program!!! But other than that, I think anything else you might be interested in that I've seen you've already watched lol. I don't know if Julio Torres' work is up your alley, but his new show Fantasmas is fucking great so far. Very in the weirdo vein of Los Espookys, or like, literally anything he has ever created.

In a weird twist I've watched a lot more movies this year than TV, which hasn't happened in perhaps ever? My biggest recommendation will be for The People's Joker, which unfortunately is not available to stream anywhere yet, I don't think, but hopefully should be soon. I also, to very much my own surprise, really enjoyed the Glenn Powell vehicle Hit Man. Richard Linklater I think can be very hit or miss, but this one was fun if bizarre.

Music I've been trying very hard not to get caught up in the FOMO of roughly 40 albums being released a week that I want to listen to. I think I've finally hit a wall of how much new music I can actually sit down and listen to and appreciate in a given week, so this year has been an exercise in letting go of the need to be on top of everything the second that it drops.

There's this band called Super American that I love, and I can't really figure out why? They're a scrappy little pop-rock-ish duo thing, and they can write hooks for days, but it's often mixed with some of the corniest shit I've ever heard. There's one track on their new record (called Gangster of Love, I fucking hate it) that has a part that sounds like a fucking LFO song. It should suck! I don't know why I don't think it sucks! So your mileage may really vary with that one, but I think baseline it's a fun and silly little summer record.

Also, I can't believe I'm saying this, but the new Story So Far album...rules? Truly did not expect it at all. Parker I am so sorry your dad died, but my god you guys wrote some of your best songs out of it. And for a left-er field rec, the new Hurray for the Riff Raff that came out earlier this year is fantastic, a kind of meandering back to some of their original sound, but in such a more realized way than those earlier records. Just a very gentle and beautiful album.